#unexpected paralells

[callipraxia]

An Observation

I'm reading a bunch of books about plot structure again, and one of them was specifically about breaking down plots to their basic elements in a way that lets you see how two works can have the same 'skeleton' while appearing wildly different. Looking at it from that angle, it occurred to me:

The stories of Demeter and Clytemnestra follow roughly the same plot - they just have different outcomes.

In the Homeric Hymn to Demeter, we get the story of Demeter and Persephone - the story that formed the basis of the Eleusinian Mysteries. Persephone is picking flowers when she is lured astray by one planted as a trap for her; once she tries to get it, Hades pops up from nowhere, yanks her onto his chariot, and goes off to the Underworld with her, having gotten permission from Zeus to forcibly marry her without consulting with Demeter, her mother. There's scholarly discussion about how this could be symbolic of the real grief experienced by ancient Greek mothers and daughters, who might well never see each other again after the daughter is married off, but in its own context - the lord of the Underworld claims the Maiden, plunging her mother into grief and anger, which turns into Demeter blighting the world until the other gods come to an accommodation with her which partially restores Persephone to her. Ultimately, however, Demeter is plunged back into mourning every half-year when Persephone must once more return to Hades, which results in winter for everyone else.

In the Oresteia, we open with Clytemnestra plotting murder; this is because, in the backstory, her husband Agamemnon tricked her into bringing their daughter Iphigeneia to him by pretending he has arranged an honorable marriage for the girl, only to sacrifice Iphigeneia to the goddess Artemis instead once he has her. Cue Clytemnestra plotting her revenge: she spends the whole Trojan War fantasizing about tricking Agamemnon into a position where she can kill him, just as he tricked her into putting Iphigeneia into a position to be sacrificed to Artemis. Fast-forward ten years; the Trojan War is over, Agamemnon comes home, Clytemnestra proceeds to get her revenge, and she and her boyfriend (who also wanted to avenge wrongs done to his family - specifically, he had some older siblings who met a rather gristly end at the hands of Agamemnon's already-deceased father) take over the government, with negative results for the polis, if we're to believe Electra in Libation-Bearers, anyway.

Agamemnon is, in a way, roughly analogous to Hades: a superior being (Zeus, Artemis) gives a powerful Figure From Greek Mythology (Hades, Agamemnon) permission to send a young woman to the Underworld, and in the process, her mother is tricked and bereaved. As a result, both Demeter and Clytemnestra go nuclear in their pursuit of revenge: Demeter inflicts massive crop damage, fully prepared to commit genocide upon humanity solely because the other gods enjoy receiving offerings from humans, and Clytemnestra breaks her marriage vows and then lures Agamemnon to his death. However, at that point, their stories diverge pretty sharply: even Zeus himself is apparently unable to force Demeter to come to Olympus or to allow anything to grow again against her will, and he is not able to prevent her from bringing winter back down upon the world every half-year whenever Persephone is re-removed from her due to the laws of godly physics as applied to pomegranates, because why not. Clytemnestra, however, is not a goddess - she is not even the child of a god or goddess, even though her own twin sister, Helen, is. Clytemnestra is a powerful woman...but just, at the end of the day, a human woman. Therefore, her revenge backfires onto her horribly: she who committed murder to avenge one of her daughters (Iphigeneia) is murdered by her son (Orestes) as part of a plot which included her surviving daughter (Electra). As a shade, she raises the Furies against Orestes, so that these ancient goddesses of vengeance drive him nearly mad...but because a greater power (Athena) can and does exert power (at one point, she threatens the Eumenides with Zeus's lightning-bolts, which she has access to, if they don't agree to her arbitration of the quarrel) over everyone else involved. Zeus could not curb Demeter, but his daughter can curb the Furies and bring them fully into line with the patriarchal system***.

There's stories in there. I know it. More than one. Just to sift them out and find something to do with them....

***For an interpretation of Oresteia which makes some sense out of the ending of Eumenides other than "lol, women unimportant and stupid," there's an interesting lecture by the Canadian classicist Ian Johnston, which can be viewed here: http://johnstoniatexts.x10host.com/lectures/oresteialecture.html

I quite like it, along with much of Professor Johnston's work, though it's still hard to come away without the impression that Aeschylus miiiiight have had Issues with women. However, this would hardly make Aeschylus the last writer whose skill (and point) was undermined by his prejudices.

[acourtofquestions]

"In a manner of speaking. We are not like the human and Fae, where your souls are invisible, unseen. Our souls have a shape to them. We have bodies that we can fashion around them-adorn them, like jewelry. The form you see on Erawan was always his preferred decoration."

"What do your souls look like beneath?"

"Do you feel Valg, or Fae?"

"I am what I am." For a heartbeat, he could almost glimpse the weight of her eons of existence in her eyes.

"But who do you wish to be?" A careful question.

"Not like Erawan. Or his brothers. I never have."

[a-dash-in-the-middle]

Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton were married and I discover this now???

[luminousbug]

The Wind Bag Jetpack is objectivly awesome and makes sense, the problem is the animatic

A lot of people have issues with the WBJ, for various reasons. In my opinion, most of this debate would not be happening if not for how the animatic was executed. The concept of odysseus using the wind bag as a freaking jetpack is certaintly unexpected, but he is the guy with the smarts and wild plans, so of course. And its DOPE AS FUCK. Plus, it makes sense, as the wind bag was also what "defeted" Poseidon last time and it was given by Hermes, the guy whose one only other appearence was to give Odysseus a powerup for a differnt god based boss fight. Nice paralels and all that. You can certaintly argue about it, everyone has their opinions. But i think the main backlash to all this is based on the animatic

Before i tear it apart, know i do not hold anything against anyone involved, I just think it wasn't good, at all

The two issues:

The 3D

This entire scene is obviously anime inspired, that is very obvious. Epic is anime inspired in general. But apparently no one on the team got the memo that 3D anime are... like that. This entire thing screams "that one scene an anime blows its entire budget on", but 3D doesn't leand to that, everything looks like action figures, and not even nice looking ones

The Events

WBJ is awesome, but it SHOULD NOT have been an actual jetpack. It just got on his back and acted super boring as he sword slashed a full god and somehow that worked. What should've actually happened was that Odysseus was holding onto dear life as the WBJ went OFF. Like, he could barely control it, it is the power of a god, but manages enough to dogde attacks. He also should've definatly blasted Poseidon with it a bunch, maybe powered his sword on it and maybe more gods blessed it with power and when opened, it shows their associated birds. That last one could definatly be a nice tie up with god games, to see them assist. But the WBJ would be the primary weapon, smashing Poseidon into a rock, epic(heh) anime fashion, as a finishing move before the bag deplates and he lands. Everything goes on as normal afterwards.

So, Epic animatic makers, go do your magic!

[thebestusernamepossible]

One of the most unexpected things the Pristine cut gave us was Smitten-Narrator paralelles.

Think about it, at the end of ‘Happily ever after’ the narrator explicitly rethinks his idea of what he was doing and what he wants.

Why does he do this? Because Smitten did the same thing as him.

Smitten traps us in his version of a ‘perfect reality’ sacrificing himself to do so (princess says that he’s ‘so tired’ etc etc). He becomes the guiding voice for the princess tell us what to do and say in the construct HE CREATED.

He trapped us in a place where change doesn’t happen because he thought he ‘knew what’s best for us’.

This… is just directly a Narrator parallel. Like straight up.

Narrator is a piece of the man who killed a god and spilt up the change and stagnation cycle. Smitten is a piece of us. Narrator is an echo of who he once was trying desperately to trap us so that he can do ‘what’s best’. I just explained why that’s the same as what smitten does.

This is driving me insane

[nalesnik-z-morela]

Why is Aziraphale a hobbit?

Enjoys food very much

English vibes™

Has much circle-shaped stuff at his place (the entrance corridor, the main place where the ball was, the inside balconies of the 2nd floor, the spiral stairs)

Can't or simply doesn't want to catch up on things that go quickly with time (like fashion or technology), sticks to what he already knows, believes in old systems

Not only old-fashioned, he's simply satisfied with what he has and doesn't need new stuff or ideas

Has his favourite set of colours and will stick to it all life long

Uses stimulants

Probably doesn't like so called adventures

Loves his cozy home

Tries to be kind at all costs when he's talking to others

But at the same time cares the most about his own business (the Tchaikovsky record is to him what the spoons are to Lobelia)

Enjoys music so, so, so much (pls somebody show him this hobbit band)

If you still aren't convinced, watch The Drunk Scene. He's basically a hobbit. THAT'S ineffable.

Anyway here's more:

Why does Aziraphale remind me specifically of Bilbo Baggins?

There and back again (IM SORRY)

Likes to socialize once in a while, still manages to be socially awkward af

Can't tell his unexpected guests to get tf out

Has questionable moral system

Says dramatic and/or noble lines (Aziraphale: "Welcome to the end times", Bilbo about sitting at the door)

Gets attached to objects and takes care of them

Keeps managable mess around him

Daydreams but won't admit it (unless unconchously bc he's also naive and his mind drifts away fast)

Would be dramatic about forgeting his tissue

Forgets basic stuff when in stressful situation (Aziraphale and his books in 1941 explosion, Bilbo and the tissue)

Gets very much excited about specific things that are nostalgic to him (Azi when The Clues, Bilbo when Gandalf's fireworks)

Tries to be polite more than he can be

The way he breaks when at the limit of social skills and/or managing stimuluses (Aziraphale ringing that bell so everyone shuts up, Bilbo swearing at the dwarves when they start to place their orders about food)

Kinda does magic and thinks that's epic (Aziraphale doing magic tricks, Bilbo fkn disappearing in front of everyone)

Pays attention to words, remembers details and points them out when necessary (Aziraphale "but is it ineffable?", Bilbo and his fourteenth part of the treasure)

Down bad for bribery but only when all other means let down

Just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing (liking even?)

Other Aziraphale-Bilbo paralels that don't really add much:

Has a sword

Has a ring and carries it everywhere with himself

Has a grumpy friend who likes gloomy aesthetic

Long-lived (kind of)

Both ace and gay communities consider him theirs, although he doesn't work like this at all and probably wouldn't even get the concept of orientation at first

Probably thinks he looks cool in his reading glasses (i'm not sure if Bilbo has such but i like to think that way)

That's already a litany and i don't want to write a whole essay. I promise that there are more such characteristics, those will have to be enough for you now. And if they aren't just open those two books.

To sum everything up, considering all mentioned traits and my own experience, i surely can place a statement that all three of us are neurodivergents, thank you very much.

[keen2meecha]

WAIT IM STUPID

crying about the dcsu again lads

[atechnobladeapologist]

Paralels between Emerald duo and Codebreakers (canons and headcanons).

First of all they are my favorites character, I cannot even put in words how much I like them, my brain is gonna rot.

Personally I dont like to see the relationship that Phil have with them as something pathernal, but more as something close to the idea of the Moiral quadrant that we had on homestuck.

For you who saved your ass and stayed farrr away from this webcomic (just joking dont take that part too serious), Moirail basicly are besties that has a strings and specials bond, Moirail it’s that person who you feel safe to open up and talk about problems and feelings. That’s it if I dont mistaken me, omg my memorie is so poor, but look if Im wrong this is still the concept that Im looking for okay :c

Based on it, we should normalize kiss your best- COF COF, I mean, normalize writing an open love letter to your best friend in a pretty platonic way (Im not being ironic).

In short, they are best friends, bros, buddys.

Yeh I talk too much, too much, lesgo then.

The totem thing. I like to think Philza is pretty concerned with the boys, because Techno and Elotes are almost two ambulant suicidals just because of the totens, yet Phil is just like omggg sit down and stay quiet just for two entire minutes. I imagine Phil have constantly to bandage and sew up their wounds, SPECIALLY with Etoiles, that French Beast thing and his way of looking at thing intensifies this a lot.

I have a really strong headcanon that in both codebreakers and emerald duo Techno and Etoiles have a very strong relationship with Mumza because of the times they almost died (a pretty fun relationship btw, I bet she gives advices and philosophizes about life with them), at the point they know her even BEFORE know Philza or as long as they know him, and all this often without Philza even knowing, and when he descovers he goes like: WHAT?!

Even though Philza doesnt look physically as strong as them (I like to think he is, for real) the two still admire the man as if he were a super cool older friend, and besides none of them show it to Phil or tell him, they both are like: LOOK that cool guy is MY FRIEND, how cool, isnt it?

Headcanon, the warriors already cried in front him.

I know that Techno is pretty concerned about his reputation in a certain way but I really like to pass this to Etoiles too, Imagine a moment where they are showing friendly affection for eachother with a hug or something, and out of nowhere they break up and Etoiles says, “man, I’m enjoying this but it hurts my reputation”, even when theres NO ONE close to see it, they’re just so out of touch they have ashamed of it, in the most fluffy way you can imagine that, it’s pretty funny imagine beasts, unshakable warriors that just cant deal with a hug of their best friend.

Techno hear voices, Etoiles get the paranoid <3

They have wavy and curly hair and sometimes Phil helps them to finish their hair, for techno he usually braid his all hair and for Etoiles he do a tiny terere on the side. Philza encourage both to take more care of their hair because he likes the curls and waves.

Techno and Etoiles have completly unexpected hobbies, I like to think that tech know how to sew and he have a whole sketchbook just for crosquis and Etoiles constantly draw and makes small wood sculptures, cute things because he usually gives to Pomme. We can invert this too btw, I think it matchs with both!

Despite Phil’s warnings they simply refuse to have a healthy sleep schedule.

If it was necessary they would sacrifice themselfs for keep the oldman safe.

I didn’t talk much about Phil :c but I was trying to do something more focused on Tecchnoblade and Etoiles in the relationship with him ya know? Maybe another time I’ll do something for our blondie girlie pop.

I truly like how those duos are simillary with eachother even when one of them are different people. Btw codebreakers should be more contrast on the fandom hihi.

Just to remember English is not my mother language so sorry for the poor words choose.

[flowercrowns-n-punks]

btw lark & sparrow as a little mushroom fellas btw. what is ur take

(u don't have to draw anything if you don't feel up to it :3)

NOW YOU ASK ABOUT THE FAMILY I AM SO OH SO WAY TO TALKING ABOUT???? [My irl friend tek has to deal with at least almost 4-6 times every day at this point i swearfrom how much i talk about the oaks]

Okay first off i do wanna do doodles ill reblog this with the doodles after or later in the day when ive gotten some sleep.[i need to consider my options here]

This will be long

But from what i think first off same mushroom type cause twins or two mushrooms that get mistaken for eachother easily.

I could easy n give them two very different mushrooms that fit them.

But no they are to codependant on eachother, their own paralells and oppsites are screaming i dont go the easy route here.

So the mushroom would need to be unexpecting but harmful if i were to give the same mushroom.

Which im leaning towards.

First idea

Fly agaric mushroom

The classic the pretty red & spotted mushroom. But like thats to classic, doesnt scream the twins to me.

Death cap mushrooms were the next option

small, green-tinted mushroom might look innocent enough, but it is actually the most toxic mushroom worldwide and is responsible for the highest number of fatal mushroom poisonings across the globe.

Seems beyter honestly if had went a different mushroom for each twin route Lark would been this.

BUT I FOUND THESE.

Funeral bell mushrooms or Galerina marginata!

Poisonous and deadly, these little mushrooms definitely live up to their ominous-sounding name. They grow on dead decaying wood or tree stumps.

And just idk why but the symbolism of funerals to me with the twins as if they had a funeral to the boys they were before the forgetten realms, a funeral to the kids that they were msde into because of the forgotten realms.

The funeral of time turning its next chapter on "reconciling" with henry when lark released tge doodler. So on so forth!

To now what they are now these mess of adults/parental figures broken and mournimg so much by the actions they both took.

And just from A art stand point

It fits nicely with their color schemes too-

But like Funeral Bell Mushrooms. Are what id def be doodling the twins as lil mushroom fellas

[pitroig]

SpyxFamily episode 25:  lessons on parenting

Or a reminder that Twilight is here for a very specific reason that we should not forget.

SxF episode closed season 1 with the first meeting between Twilight and Desmond Donavan. The animation encapsulated the same tension between Twilight/Loid that we perceived in the manga and with a beautiful play of lights and shadows conveyed the character duality, addressing the fact that, we like it or not, for the agent the mission goes first and above everything else.

I have a couple of thoughts about it:

1. it's sad 

Because Anya - cute, and small, and funny, and so many times rejected by other families - says that she doesn't know if his father loves her, and sometimes she’s afraid of how he reacts when she shows him her poor school performance, but it's ok because she loves him and that's enough. And despite we know that Twilight cares about her, he still uses her as a cover, his family as a mask, their bonds as and excuse. 

And yet, he uses the poor Damian - so love deprived, so lonely, so approval-seeking - to get closer to Donovan. All for the mission, of course, all for the greater good, but still: he is taking advantage of the untamed love of children for his purposes.

One of the main themes of the series (as also shown in the current arc in the manga) is what are we able to do in order to protect our loved ones. How far does Yuri goes with his torture to protect Yor? How many people should Yor kill for the sake Yuri’s smile? For how long Loid Forger is going to use Anya? Is the Handler truly worried about the Forgers future? And, what if the Desmonds and their detached love is a way of protecting their children, keeping them far and away of the danger? What if the experiments conducted on Anya by some hidden structure of the state were meant to create a super diplomat and not a war weapon?

As nations and countries and states conduct questionable operations in the spirit of their citizens safety, parents may be as ruthless when it comes to their children wellbeing.

I believe that at some point, Twilight will abandon his all-for-the-mission attitude and will think about his relationship with Anya - but is still a long run. (My suspicion is that the horrible scientist that didn't allow Anya to draw is going to be the real bad guy, but sssh 🤫

2. There is also a lot of hope

Loid Forger doesn't understand Anya. Like, the poor guy is absolutely clueless when it comes to his daughter motives, plans and actions - who can blame him. The little girl is as adorable as random.

But he talks to Donavan and makes a wonderful hidden paralelism of parenting and politics, when he admits that he tries to accept her and set a common ground where they can meet and start listening to each other. The same low key diplomatic core embedded in Anya’s talk to Damian.

And both talks lead to a brief but meaningful word exchange between father and son, and that's enough for now.

But it also leads to un unexpected development: Damian tomato red admitting that he really wants to get on we'll with Anya. Cutest crush ever.

PS: This post was written while in an airport stopover, sorry for the poor quality

[streets-in-paradise]

The Last Challenger - Ajax x Fem Greek!Reader (requested)

Requested by @lovely-cryptid​ 

“  I was wondering if I could request something with Ajax. Like maybe him winning reader (afab if possible) in a gladiator match and maybe she's a little afraid of him (because have you seen him??) But he just really wants her as his wife and is beyond ready to claim his prize 😌” 

First time writing for Ajax, I have to admit I feel better with the final result than what i expected at first. Hope you will enjoy it :) If you do and want to see more, i felt comfortable enough with this character to keep writing for him. My askbox will remain open for more requests. 

Word Count 3 K

Warnings: This includes mentions to reinterpretations of some events happening on the myths, headcanons that I develop through connecting those events with the views and characterizations of the film. 

Summary: The marriage tournament for your hand takes an unexpected turn when Ajax the Great,the famous salaminian hero, arrives at your doorstep demanding to join. Remembrances of the past in the legendary history of Greece combine with your own fears regarding the new challenger to make you hate his high chances of winning, but he is very interested in surprising you. 

Mythology glossary: Iole - Princess of Oechalia, daughter of Eurytus. Her hand was the prize in an archery competition that Hercules won. Her father refused him the right to her anyways and that angered the hero. Hercules ended up killing her father, her brothers, and abducting her to make her his concubine. Those actions indirectly led him to his death when his wife Deianira accidentally poisoned him thinking she was giving him a love potion. 

Notes: Regarding my warning, i want to elaborate a bit. Since one of the main topics of Troy as a film is the tension between power and love, I’m imagining the oath of the suitors happened but it was corrupted by Agamemnon in favor of his brother. The conflict in this oneshot is narratively constructed as a paralel to that situation. 

A competition was taking place in the island of Same and you were its prize. King Odysseus, the supreme ruler of the small insular domain centered in Ithaca, advised it when your father came to him seeking guidance. After the apparently brilliant solution he provided for the marriage arrangement of Helen in Sparta many other fathers began to consult him at the time of deciding the fate of their daughters. 

The oath of the suitors brought peace to the country, but it was very fragile. The Atreides corrupted it and the result was a political marriage that didn’t fully satisfy either of the parties. King Menelaus got nothing more than a beautiful wife and Helen didn’t seem much happy at his side. Odysseus felt somewhat responsible for that and his advice for you went in a completely different direction. Your father was an influential noble in an island of his own kingdom who he didn’t want to disappoint when the unexpected consequences of a similar flawless sounding plan would ruin your life. 

The men wanting you for a wife would have to face each other in combat, allowing the matches to be to the death if the context required it. An exaggerated solution on the surface, but it had a motive behind. The king wanted to make sure you would be given to a man who would love you for real, so only the ones willing to risk everything for you would remain in the competition. Unlike in the case of Helen, there was no political risk if your suitors would fight for you and he would be there to make sure that the possibility of death would remain only as a dissuading threat. 

The execution of the scheme ended up more troubled than its conception and once more an unexpected consequence altered the conceived situation. No famous heroes were expected to show up, since Same was part of a peripheral kingdom and you weren’t even a princess.It was a tournament for the hand of a modest insular beauty. Still, despite the limitations in that small world, news traveled fast and whispers began to caress the shores of its corners. In more relegated areas those became rumors speaking of the coming of age of a modern Iole and it was a matter of time until a modern Hercules would feel tempted. Ajax the Great, born and raised in the arid island of Salamis, wanted you from the very first moment he heard of you. 

Following the footsteps of the greatest hero in greek history was a big ambition of his. His own legend was constantly growing on comparisons that Ajax accepted pridefully, shaping his glory behind Hercules’. Succeeding in that tournament and making you his wife would bring one more parallel to his tales. Without a jealous Deianira on the way, he could even get a full triumph where his predecessor found death. He had nothing to lose, if gossips were right you were the perfect wife for him.  

His arrival was a scandal, the already established contestants weren’t happy about it. The tournament had already started and surviving that far to end up in the surprise inclusion of a new adversary was unfair for them. The complaints were, of course, a facade for a very sensate spread of fear.  No one, not even the ones more strongly infatuated with you, wanted to face him in combat. 

It was the oath of the suitors all over again, one man with an evident advantage twisting the initial setup in an unexpected turn of events. What Menelaus obtained through the political power of his brother, Ajax was going to get through brute force. Your father was terrified of refusing his request to join or denying him the win, since everyone knew that didn’t end up well for the King of Oechalia. A man as strong as that one, a true heir of Hercules, would have easily killed him to steal you as his concubine like it was remembered in the legends. 

One day of pause to the competition was given by the king to revisit the situation and he personally advised you would be sent to meet the new challenger. Odysseus knew him better than your father did, Ajax would perhaps reconsider it if you were against the idea because he wasn’t a cruel man. Not outside of the battlefield, at least, he was kind with his friends and way less bad tempered than Achilles. The recommendation specified that you should be alone, but your father was too afraid to pay any attention to that part. Under no circumstance he would leave you alone with that man, not even if Odysseus would command it. 

The meeting took place under his watch and you presented yourself covered by a veil, sign of modesty and decorum. Ajax could still see your face through the transparent cloth and he found you stunning beyond all expectatives. Delicate as a flower, beautiful like a divine dream. 

His intense staring was starting to make you uncomfortable, but he seemed entranced. 

“ Most of the contestants for the hand of daughter already know her. “ Your father was explaining to him, evidently disgusted by his lack of attention. “ They are the sons of the most excellent noblemen of the kingdom and they have seen her face uncovered. You,foreigner, will have to win the right to move the veil. “ 

Ajax knew what he meant, in no other context they would have left him to aspire having such a radiant bride. His island was poorer than Ithaca and Same, all he had to compete against the other suitors was the strength of his arms. 

“ That would not be a problem, sir.” He cheerfully replied. “ I have fought merciless combats for rewards that were infimal compared to the one your challenge offers.” 

He glanced at you and smiled, but you were petrified of fear. The man in front of you was the biggest you had ever seen. Astonishingly tall and of an enormous muscular complexion, rough looking from all the possible angles. You felt tiny and helpless just from being there with him, not precisely how you would prefer to feel for your husband. He looked less as the man asking for your hand and more as the invader who would drag you by the hair out of your home to make you his slave. It wasn’t his fault to be the living image of the kind of man you were taught to fear by common sense, but that was the exact first impression you got from him. 

“ May I speak?” You interrupted and he looked as if he was illusioned from hearing your voice for the first time. “ I’m afraid your epithets are too well assigned, son of Telamon. ‘ Ajax the Great’, ‘ the breaker of stones’, the man before my eyes has no fair challenger in this household. All my suitors are great warriors, but they are lesser to you in skill and size. There is no honor in winning a combat so despair, stealing the wife meant for someone else. “ 

Your words were meant to twist your father’s demeaning speech into something that sounded flattering, hoping he would desist after that exhortation. 

“ Are you calling me a cheater?” Ajax summarized, in a simpler speech delivered with an amused tone. “ I see things the other way around. Weaker men are unworthy of you, even if they are richer.” 

“ Strength is a quality of warriors and measuring yourself against men you already know you will defeat shows nothing but arrogance. “ You quickly replicated, desperate to make things work your way. “ Justice would demand you to fight against a hero of similar reputation and my king happens to know one. Achilles of Phthia is a great friend of his. Maybe we should hire him to fight against you on my father’s behalf.” 

That was a threat that would have scared any sensate man, specially because you had the means to accomplish it. Your king was the only one that the myrmidon warrior listened to, he would come to his aid like he wouldn’t do for anyone else. 

Ajax laughed, loudly and frankly, as if he didn’t care in the slightless for what you said. 

“ You look very cute making threats, little one.” He mocked you right away. “ I have heard of him, but I'm sure I would wreck him in half and  your king would not appreciate that. I have a more practical solution, with your permission I would present it.” 

He gave one step closer to you and you shivered. 

“ Look at me, beautiful. For how many of the others do you think I’m worth in battle?” 

Your father was murdering him with his eyes, but there was nothing he could do about it. 

“ I’m not sure, around four men?” Was your doubtful reply, ashamed of being contextually forced to observe his body on purpose. “ … Maybe five, if we count the shorter ones.” 

You made him laugh once more and one thing was for sure, he at least cared for your opinions. The fact that you were speaking more than the head of your house in a meeting where you were just meant to be seen showed that. 

“ Pick four of the biggest and there you have a fair match” 

Your disbelief to his said was still quite fun to see for him. 

“ Two rounds of two against one sounds good to me, but the final word is on my father.” 

The man was inflexible, he would gladly pick a way to kill the newcomer before allowing him to even think of having you. 

“ Four against one, she is yours if you survive.” 

That was practically a death sentence, even if the lonely challenger was the strongest of them all. The point was to dissuade him, force him to leave or get rid of him in the process. Whatever would take to get him away from you, he was willing to make it happen. 

The meeting was a complete failure, since Ajax wasn’t giving up. If anything, it made him feel a stronger determination in his purpose. It wasn’t about evocating the old legends anymore, he didn’t care for making you an accessory on his rising to glory. It got personal, he fancied you for real. He would have accepted to fight those opponents even if the prize would have been one look into your uncovered face and an innocent smile of congratulations. What had been promised to him was way greater, a reward worth for his maximum efforts. One combat afterwards you would be his wife, he couldn’t wait to have you in his arms. 

By that point you were dangerously aware of that, the way in which he kissed your hand goodbye before you would retire from the room wasn’t a definitive farewell. More like a ‘ see you soon’ full of longing coming from an hopeful man. He was going to kill everyone to get you or die trying, what wasn’t something nice to think about in your place. Heroes would usually come victorious from impossible tests, your father had as many chances of getting rid of Ajax as King Eurystheus had of killing Hercules. 

Twelve times the infamous mycenaean king tried and nothing worked, labor after labor of magnificent feats accomplished. In more noble circumstances, neither King Eurytus of Oechalia managed to protect his daughter from the desire of the hero and you seemed doomed to share her fate. Being handled to a savage that would treat you like a concubine, that if your family would manage to survive his wrath. Only resignation would keep them alive, your protective father who just wanted to assure you a good marriage would have to powerlessly let you go following that barbaric stranger. 

Odysseus tried to comfort you after he received the news, he said that it wasn’t in any way a bad marriage arrangement. Atypical, perhaps, but so was the one that got him his wife. He wasn’t approved by her family right away, they considered him a lesser prospect, and it was Penelope who chose him after falling in love in fast, chaotic circumstances. His biggest concern was trying to avoid actual deaths from happening, which he more or less handled good before the arrival of Ajax. No matter how much he would insist on claiming there was a nice man for you to discover behind the rough facade of the hero, aspect he was aware of because he knew him, that didn’t matter to you. 

He wasn’t going to be the one in his bed the night after the wedding party, he would return to Ithaca with his wife and son while you would be stuck there waiting for that giant to tear you apart and call that a marriage consummation. After that, you would have to leave your homeland and move to Salamis to stand it everyday without any familiar faces there to comfort you. If you would be lucky, you would get pregnant soon and that would grant you some rest from him. 

The combat took place the next morning and you witnessed it like a condemned waiting for execution. Before its start you closed your eyes in a silent prayer to Hera, goddess of marriage, begging not to be handled to a brutal man. Little to no hope was left for you moments afterwards, when you actually watched him fight. Pure horror that you couldn’t dissimulate, his war hammer was impossible to block even with the cohesive work of four opponents working towards survival. Ajax was not only trying to win that combat, he was giving a show in hopes of impressing you. In his mindset, that was his best way of winning your admiration. 

You were so scared that you wanted to cry, men were falling like wheat before a harvester’s sickle. Once his hard work was completely done he smiled at you with inexplicable sweetness, as if he was seeking your approval for it. He wanted you to like him, that fight was his odd attempt of actively courting you. Perhaps he wanted you as more than the prize won with an epic massacre, it was said that Ajax’s biggest ambition was surpassing Hercules. 

In that, at least, he was already greater than him. The son of Zeus didn’t show the slightest care for Iole when he killed her entire family to keep her as a kidnapped possession. Ajax cared for being wanted by you, he wanted to accomplish your consent on the marriage. His face was still splattered of blood, but he was looking at you with blatant adoration. It was a slightly comforting detail you noticed at the time your fate was completely sealed. 

As tradition recalled, you moved your veil for him and his lips parted to the sight of you as if he would be contemplating the face of a goddess freshly down from Olympus. The soft reaction got a shy smile from you, spontaneous reaction to such a sweet gesture. He looked blissful as if he would have won the hand of Helen, the most beautiful woman who ever existed. 

The wedding had to be postponed in respect to the funerals of those who fell trying to win you. Twelve days separated you from it, as it was stipulated by the customary rituals, and you took that chance to get to know him better. Approaching him by yourself wasn’t even necessary sometimes, since he was pretty much up to finding any excuse to see you. However, everytime you would seek for his company on your own he was particularly happy and he wouldn’t even dissimulate it. 

Ajax was, to your incredible surprise, the sweetest man you have ever met. Extremely careful in every touch, as if you were made of crystal and he was afraid of breaking you. Having to bend down to kiss your forehead didn’t seem a bother to him, but he would joke about how you would have to get ready to get picked up often. 

“ I’m a man of honor, I will not try it now, but I want you to be comfortable when I will be kissing you.” He explained to you once, expectantly of your reaction to that. “ To be honest, that’s all I think about. Twelve days feel like a year knowing I'm about to become your husband.” 

You couldn’t help smiling at such tender confession. 

“ Well, to be honest this is better for me.” You shyly admitted. “ It gives us time before the formalization, which is great because you were a stranger to me a few days ago.” 

Ajax chuckled to the reminder of your initial attitude. 

“ Not only a stranger; a despicable brute. “ He recalled with amusement. “ First impressions are hard for me when the goal is not about frightening the enemy. “ 

He took your hand while his glance searched for yours. 

“ Are you still afraid?” 

“ Way less than before.” Was your quite frank reply to that sensible question. “... but still a little bit.” 

It didn’t disencourage him, but he was curious about that. 

“ Mind to tell me why? “ He cheerfully insisted. “ Anything, even the simplest thing I can do to change that, I will try. I want to make you happy, as happy as you make me. “ 

One particular doubt you had, you were too ashamed to ask. His disposition to hear you made you want to share it with him, but it wasn’t an easy topic. 

“ It’s not about you, not directly at least. You have been very sweet lately and I feel this is unfair to mention…” 

Ajax was attentive to your words and did his best to hold a chuckle when you finally opened up to him. 

“... I’m scared about the wedding night.” 

It was adorable, just the worries of a frightened maiden, perhaps a bit concerned about the challenges of his body size. 

“ When the time comes, you will be ready.” He comforted you, wrapping his arms around you in the same action. “ … but in the meantime, I can help you get used to the feeling of my body against yours.” 

The hug lasted for your entire conversation and the sensation wasn’t bad at all. If he could keep that lovely patience, despite it was clear to you that it was a bit of a struggle for him, you could totally get used to it. 

[magic-of-camelot]

Will and Radagast.

I had this random theory about Will and rabbits, but then I finally watched the Hobbit movies and met Radagast and oh boy was I excited to see that Radagast provided evidence for my theory haha.

I've had this idea for a few months, but I only now have the motivation to write this on my phone at midnight before I go to bed. I'll revisit later and add screenshots. I'm always worried my ideas have already been said but hey ho let's go.

Now, most, if not all, people are aware of the theory that Will, being a cleric, has IRL healing powers. We also know that Will knows how to use a gun. Something Lonnie will have taught him since he is the one who taught Jonathan.

My original idea:

When Lonnie taught Jonathan how to use a gun, he took Jonathan hunting. Lonnie then made him kill a rabbit. Something we can logically assume he tried to make Will do, too.

I say "tried" because there is just no way Will would have killed that rabbit. No matter how much Lonnie screamed and pressured him to do it. I truly believe that Lonnie got so frustrated with Will, who I imagine would have been crying his eyes out, that Lonnie just killed the rabbit himself right in front of Will (or severely injured it to the point where it was not dead, but dying).

This obviously traumatized Will a lot and caused him so much grief in that moment, and that poor little kid, unknowingly healed/brought that rabbit back to life. Lonnie saw that little bunny run away - the bunny he just killed and oh boy is he confused. This could be the beginning of Lonnie's suspicions of Will or even the catalyst of Lonnie contacting the lab and the lab keeping tabs on Will.

The parallel to Radagast:

Then I watched The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.

Radagast is a wizard. And "Radagast" is the password to Castle Byers.

There is the obvious parallel between Will and Radagast where Will has his little wooden Castle Byers secluded in the woods, and Radagast has his wooden house secluded in the forest.

When we first meet Radagast, he is in the forest, panicking. There is dark magic infiltrating the forest and the creatures in it are dying. Radagast sees Sebastian, a hedgehog, dying from spider poison that has been infected with dark magic. Radagast takes the hedgehog into his house and tries to heal him. At the same time, giant spiders (hi henry) surround the house and try to get in. The hedgehog dies* on the table. But Radagast uses magic and heals him back to life. And the spiders leave.

(*before writing this post I did some research and it seems like there is uncertainty as to whether or not Sebastian actually died at this moment, or almost died. I read the scene as he died here because that's how it looks like to me. But at the very least, he was definitely dying and it's possible that Will's rabbit was just injured. So the paralell still stands).

Both Radagast and Will use their powers to bring an innocent woodland creature back to life that was murdered by a dark/evil being.

Described by Gandalf, Radgast is a "gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the east. And a good thing, too. For always evil will look to find a foothold in this world."

Both Will and Radagast are gentle/sensitive people. They are both very compassionate.

Because of Will's connection to the Upside Down (and the possibility/theories that the Upside is his mind or he creates it), Will is honestly the best person to keep an eye on what is going on there. He still has a link to the hivemind, to Henry, and the shadow monster. He knows it the best. Keeping an eye on things can also link to Will's truesight and his postion as a spy.

And like Gandalf says, evil is always looking to secure itself in the world. Exactly like how we ended season 4 - the evil infiltrating and gaining position into the world.

What I love about this is the double parallel here. Because not only would this be a parallel between Will and Radagast, but it would also be another parallel between Will and Henry. Them using their powers on a rabbit, but the motivations/outcomes being completely different.

[naufal-portofolio]

[Movie Review] The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Dec 23, 2013

Bagi gue, butuh perjuangan untuk menulis review ini. Sorry, bukannya lebay, tapi film kali ini benar-benar di luar ekspektasi gue sebagai pembaca buku. For your information, film ini adalah adaptasi dari novel The Hobbit karya J. R. R. Tolkien. Novelnya sendiri cuma satu buku, tapi dibuat menjadi tiga film (ini adalah film kedua). Gue bukan tipe yang mengharapkan kalau film adaptasi itu harus sama persis dengan bukunya. Namanya buku dan film, medianya udah beda, yang satu lewat tulisan dan satu lagi lewat visual. Tapi, jangan juga filmnya menghilangkan esensi cerita bukunya sehingga tidak lagi menjadi karya adaptasi, tapi malah seperti fan fiction. Well, untuk kali ini, gue akan mengulas film sebagai film saja. Titik. Gue berusaha tidak menghubung-hubungkan dengan bukunya alias “melupakan” kalau ini film adaptasi. So, cukup sekian intermesonya.

Film ini merupakan lanjutan  dari The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012). Masih berkisah tentang petualangan seorang Hobbit asal Shire, Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) membantu 13 Dwarf dan Gandalf the Grey (Ian McKellen) untuk merebut harta karun di Lonely Mountain dari sang naga, Smaug. Petualangan mereka kali ini semakin banyak rintangan. Mulai dari dikejar gerombolan Orc, tersesat di hutan Mirkwood, diserang kawanan laba-laba raksasa, ditawan oleh kaum Elf hutan, kabur lewat sungai dengan gentong, membuat keributan di Laketown, sampai bertarung melawan naga di Erebor. Paralel dengan itu semua, sang penyihir Gandalf berusaha melawan kekuatan jahat di Dol Guldur. Dari awal sampai akhir penuh aksi dan ketegangan. Seru!

Sebagai film fantasi yang penuh petualangan dan aksi, film ini sukses banget. Banyak scene pertarungan yang disajikan dengan ciamik sehingga penonton ikut merasa tegang dan menahan napas ketika menyaksikannya. Sabetan pedang, lepasan anak panah, tancapan pisau, dan senjata lainnya mewarnai film ini. Namun, itu semua tidak menjadikan film ini penuh darah karena fokusnya memang ada pada aksi pertarungannya. Salah satu adegan aksi yang epik yaitu saat Bilbo dan para Dwarf yang masih ada dalam gentong di arus sungai harus melawan gerombolan Orc yang mencoba mengadang dari sisi sungai. Dan, tentu saja aksi di aula besar penuh harta karun di Erebor tidak boleh dilewatkan. Scene pertarungan di sana cukup heroik. Terlihat bagaimana Thorin (Richard Armitage), pemimpin para Dwarf serta Bilbo, melawan si naga Smaug dengan segala cara. Penuh api!

Tidak hanya itu, Gandalf yang berpisah dari rombongan Bilbo dan para Dwarf ke Dol Guldur, juga mengalami pertarungan dengan para Orc dan Necromencer. Gue nggak mau spoiler, tapi Necromencer ini ternyata sosok yang penting dalam trilogi The Lord of the Rings. Yang udah nonton trilogi itu mungkin bisa sadar siapa sebenarnya sosok jahat ini. FYI lagi, The Hobbit adalah prekuel dari trilogi epik The Lord of the Rings. Di sini diceritakan bagaimana One Ring muncul dan perannya yang penting dalam tiga film The Lord of the Rings.

Selain itu, penonton juga dimanjakan dengan pemandangan alam Selandia Baru yang indah dan memesona yang dijadikan setting Middle-earth. Tak hanya itu, tingkah dan gimmick Bilbo yang lucu dalam beberapa adegan membuat penonton tertawa. Terus, buat para cewek, pasti dimanjakan oleh banyaknya aktor ganteng yang berseliweran. Sebut saja Legolas (Orlando Bloom), Thranduil (Lee Pace), Kili (Aidan Turner), Fili (Dean O’Gorman), dan Bard (Luke Evans). Buat para cowok, ada Tauriel (Evangeline Lilly), sosok Elf cantik berambut merah yang jago memanah. Tauriel ini tokoh yang diciptakan khusus untuk film dan tidak ada di buku. Kehadiran karakter ini banyak diprotes oleh fans Tolkien.

Semua aktor dan aktris bermain bagus di sini. Mereka semua berhasil membangun atmofer ketegangan dan penuh aksi dari awal sampai akhir. Bahkan untuk Smaug dan Necromencer (Benedict Cumberbatch) yang “berakting” lewat suaranya. Ben sukses menghidupkan tokoh naga Smaug yang bengis dan Necromencer yang menyeramkan lewat suaranya. Keren! Lalu, penonton juga akan disuguhi dialog bahasa Sindarin (bahasa Elf) dan Black Speech (bahasa Orc). Sumpah, awsome banget deh.

Menurut gue, yang agak mengganjal dari film ini adalah scene kisah cinta segitiga antara Legolas-Tauriel-Kili. Entah kenapa porsinya malah cukup dominan dan terlalu cheesy. Untungnya, hal ini terampuni oleh banyak adegan penuh aksi dan tentu saja efek visual yang yahud. Sekali lagi, film ini bagus sebagai film. Harus ditonton karena penonton  nggak bakal kecewa dan pasti terhibur. Cuma, kalau gue mengulas dengan menghubungkan dengan bukunya, review ini pasti jadi sangat panjang. Kenapa? Karena seperti yang gue sebut di awal, film ini sebenarnya sangat jauh dari ekspektasi gue, sebagai pembaca yang sudah membaca novel dan komiknya. Sebagai penggemar Tolkien, gue pun mencoba tidak memprotes sang sutradara film ini, Peter Jackson, yang menurut gue kurang bisa mengadaptasi esensi dan aspek-aspek penting di buku ke film. Well, tapi gue yakin ini udah yang terbaik. He is a great director dan gue suka film ini (again, hanya sebagai film semata, bukan adaptasi). So, silakan datang ke bioskop dan mengikuti petualangan Bilbo dan para Dwarf! (gue aja udah ke bioskop dua kali untuk nonton film ini. :D)

[mayasdeluca]

Damn that new fic really went into an unexpected path!! Nightmare? Amnesia? Paralel world? I'm dying

It's crazy! I love it and I'm so curious how it's all going to play out. Like is it Maya dreaming or a parallel world like you said or what? Because it's an interesting twist that Maya is the one who remembers even though she's the one in the accident! So I really don't know how it's going to be resolved! This writer always comes up with such cool ideas.

[honeywitchers]

Always Something

A/N:  This is from another one of my blogs that I decided to seperate my Witcher content from.  I plan on deleting the original from that blog so if you have seen this before under a different name I promise I didn’t steal the story!

Pairing:  Geralt x Jaskier 

Content and Warnings:  Platonic traveling companions Geralt and Jaskier, strong language, Jaskier being a little shit and Geralt being so done with it, Jaskier can’t keep it in his pants and gets beat up for it, jokes of Jaskier appreciating goats a little bit too much

Word Count: 2,193

Summary:  Geralt and Jaskier happen upon an old tavern and decide to take refuge.  A bar guest recognizes Jaskier, whom he mistakes as a fan.  And boy is he wrong.

The days of empty coin pouches, grumbling stomachs, and dark under eye circles seemed to be never ending for Geralt and Jaskier.  Four days of hopelessly wandering through massive swamps and wooded lands and still nothing.  Not a single contract was in sight for the two traveling companions.  Every hour that passed without a hint of a hunt sucked out a little bit more of their withering spirits.  The clouded greyness that blanketed the skies for days on end paralelled the two men.

“I’m pretty sure my boots are more mud than shoes now, Geralt.”  Jaskier sighed, walking along the plain dirt path next to Geralt and Roach, seemingly going nowhere.

“We’ll get somewhere eventually, Jaskier.  Be patient.”  Geralt instructed.

“Easy for you to say.  You’ve been sitting pretty up there atop good ol’ Roach this whole time.  I’ve been getting my feet wet in rivers and bogs and trudging through god knows what.”  Jaskier stopped momentarily to peek at the bottom of his stained boot, grimacing at the sight of what he thought could be rat excrement.

“Sitting pretty?”  Geralt glared at Jaskier, only getting a shrug of his shoulders in response.  “If leather chafing against your thighs is considered sitting pretty, then yes, I’m in fact sitting pretty.  Takes a toll on the thighs, idiot.”

“Your thighs….right.”  Jaskier mumbled.

After three hours of hiking through that same unremarkable dirt path, a small torch light became visible past the edge of a wooden post fence straight ahead of them.  Geralt stopped Roach in her tracks to scan the surrounding area.  Nothing except for the warm glowing light illuminating what seemed to be a lonely tavern was around.  They were nowhere near a village or bustling city; quite literally in the middle of nowhere.  Yet, there the dilapidated looking box-shaped building stood.  

“Let’s stop here for food and drink.  If we’re lucky, we’ll secure a room for the night.  It’s better than nothing.”  Geralt suggested.

“Oh!  I wonder if they have a metal tub I could wash my boots in!”  Jaskier exclaimed.  

“You’re more concerned about your dirty attire rather than not dying of thirst or starvation?”  Geralt asked.

“No, I’m more concerned about the mud and monster guts replacing my foot skin, Geralt.”

A few moments later, the pair reached the front of the building.  Without a second thought, Jaskier flung the obnoxiously creaking wooden door to the tavern, earning a couple of startled looks from the patrons inside enjoying meals, drinks, and random conversation.  Feeling a little nervous from the unexpected staring, he subconsciously tightened the straps holding his prized lute against his back.

“Keep that thing put away.  We’re here to relax.”  Geralt shot Jaskier a knowing look as he stepped in front of him to take the lead.

“I didn’t even do or say anything.  The only sound that came out of me was the roar of my suffering stomach.”  Jaskier defended.

“You didn’t have to, I know you.”

“We’ll see, though.  Who knows how the rest of the night will go.  Who’s to say they won’t get bored?”  Jaskier grinned.

“Exactly.”  Geralt sighed heavily.

The two men strolled up to the front bar counter and found themselves two empty barstools.  Much to Geralt’s dismay, they were right next to each other.

“Evening.  We’ll take two ales and two plates of whatever your best meat is.”  Geralt said flatly.

“For you, witcher, one ale and one platter of grilled pork and bread will be one hundred coins.  For you, sir,”  The barmaid turned to Jaskier.  “It will be fifty coins.”  The hefty plump woman returned her gaze to Geralt, her sunken brown eyes locked onto his bright yellow irises.

“Fine.”  Geralt grumbled.

“What?  We’re getting the same thing, miss.  No reason his should be absurdly priced.”  Jaskier chimed in, Geralt shooting him a glare.  “His should be fifty coins as is mine, for a TOTAL of one hundred.”  Jaskier’s body was now half standing and hunched partially over the bar counter.

“Pay, or get lost.”  The barmaid snapped, her arms crossing in front of her chest.

As if a lightbulb went off in Jaskier’s head, his face lit up with joy and he stood fully upright, twirling his figure around once with his pointer finger up in the air, resembling a ballerina.  Geralt watched blinkless, bewildered why he still chose to allow this fool of a man to join him throughout his travels and adventures.  The feeling of regret was overwhelming.  He knew better than to assume Jaskier would stay quiet for the night.

“Jaskier!”  Geralt raised his voice, teeth clenched tightly together.

“You see this lute here…uh….”  Jaskier paused.

“Sonya.”  The barmaid said, irritation laced in her voice.

“Sonya!!  A gorgeous name if I do say so myself!”  He bowed in front of her.  “I have quite the proposition for you!  Say, I am well versed in song and an expert when it comes to strumming this lute in tones that could bring a grown man to tears.  If I provide tonight's entertainment and turn your guests frowns into glorious smiles, how about you let us off the hook, yeah?”

Geralt sat on his barstool silently, shocked at his partner's words, yet at the same time not surprised even slightly at his general antics.  His back was still turned to Jaskier, afraid he would be asked to back him up if he met with his shining face.

“After all,”  Jaskier added.  “Happy and entertained guests are more likely to tip, aren’t they?”  He winked at Sonya.

Sonya stood silent for a minute contemplating, arms never uncrossing.  Her gaze reached Geralt’s several times, each time he was glaring daggers at her.  

“Fine.”  Sonya said sternly.  “But!!”  Her finger pointed directly at Jaskier’s face.  “If you mess this up in any way or cause trouble, you will be tossed out into the cold with bloody faces and hollow stomachs.”

Jaskier laughed loudly, clapping his hands together while Geralt had his head facing downward, resting on the two fingers that were pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Fear not, Geralt!  When have I ever been known to cause trouble?”  Jaskier asked, placing a hand on Geralt’s shoulder, immediately dropping his hand and large grin when the look on his face made it clear that he was opposed to his touch.  The white haired witcher’s face had an expression that could kill a man.

Jaskier strode confidently over to an empty table and bench set, then stepped onto said bench to lift himself onto the very top of the table’s surface.  An uncomfortable silence washed over the crowd of people, who were now all staring at him with wide eyes.

“He is a mad man.”  One patron said, brown ale dribbling down his chin without a care.

Jaskier pulled his precious lute out from the sturdy straps on his back and held it within both of his hands.  One deep breath later, he shut his eyes and began lightly strumming.  

🎶 When a humble bard

     Graced a ride along

     With Geralt of Rivia

     Along came this song

     From when the white wolf fought  🎶

“Hey!  I’ve heard this song somewhere else before!  On the other side of the continent!”  An older man, appearing to be in his forties claimed.  His long grey scraggly beard swayed as he spoke.

Jaskier pointed at the man, thinking he was a fan before continuing the song.

🎶  A silver-tounged devil

     His army of elves

     At his hooves did they revel  🎶

“Yeah!  That’s it!  That’s the line!!”  The unknown guest’s finger pointed at Jaskier’s face.

Jaskier’s eyebrows furrowed as he attempted to continue his song, slowly beginning to lose the words in his head due to the distracting man.

“I heard you singing that to my wife in OUR bedroom!!  Right before I came in to find her giggling and undressing you!!  It’s the same voice!  YOU SLEPT WITH MY WIFE, YOU SCOUNDREL!!”  

At this accusation, Jaskier’s strumming and singing came to a stop, his worried eyes shooting over to Geralt, who was still watching the entire thing from his barstool.  The man accusing him stood up and slowly started to walk over in Jaskier’s direction.  

“You’re pretty brave to show your face around here after that.  Or just stupid!”  He shouted, strings of spit flying through the air from his angry mouth.

“Look, look! I–I don’t know who your wife is!”  Jaskier tripped over his words, slowly backing off of the table and back onto the ground.  “I’m sure she’s a lovely lady, sir!  I would never!”

“No?  Curly brown hair, tanned skin, gargantuan–”  The man stopped himself, clearing his throat.  “Her name is Giona.”  

“Giona?  Giona!  Yes! The one with the feather wand.  God, that thing tickled. Yes, she uh–”  Jaskier cleared his throat.  “She is a lovely lady indeed.”

“Jaskier!  You idiot!”  Geralt yelled from his seated position.  

Without hesitation, the angered man swung a hefty fist at Jaskier, luckily being blocked by his raised forearm and elbow.  Although, the blow no doubt would leave a deep bruise on each arm.  As if he had a death wish, he dropped his arms to his side and tried to reason with the man once more, begging for mercy……and begging him to not touch his angelic face.  Unsurprisingly, his pleading did not work whatsoever; a second blow came his way, this time making contact with his nose, which was now spewing blood down his mouth and chin.  Deciding enough was enough, Geralt finally raised himself off of the stool and made his way over to the tussle.  This brief distraction gave the man time to hold his raised fist in place and glance over at the witcher.

“Is this good for nothing cow pie with you?  Because he’s about to be a dead man!”  The man shouted.  

“It isn’t how it sounds.”  Geralt claimed.

“What?”  The man and Jaskier asked simultaneously, looking at one another startled.

“You see….”  Geralt’s hands stretched out in front of him.  “As a young boy, he was kicked in the head by a horse and it severely affected his judgment.  To the point where he has almost no capability of knowing what’s right and what’s wrong.  I apologize for his actions but...your wife....”  Geralt inhaled deeply.  “Your wife must have felt sorry for the lad, performing an act of....charity.”

“Charity?!?  I’ll have you know, Geralt-”  Jaskier looked strongly offended, a crooked frown on his bloody face as he stared at the witcher.  Gonia’s husband turned his gaze back to him and Jaskier changed his entire demeanor in an instant, a smile on his face, his head nodding furiously.  “Yep, it’s true.  Never learned.  Can’t tell, um, sir.  Charity.  Must’ve been.  Very gratful for uh...Gonia....yes.”  Jaskier swallowed thickly.  

The man’s eyes darted between the two of them, unsure of what to think about the insane explanation.  “You know what?  Get the hell out of here.  Not worth my time.”  He spat at Jaskier’s mud covered boots and walked back to his table, head shaking side to side.

Geralt waited a moment to ensure that the man wasn’t going to change his mind and waltz back over to dish out another beating.  Once he was certain they were in the clear, he gave a rough smack to the back of Jaskier’s head.

“Agh!  What was that for?!?”  Jaskier yelled, holding the back of his throbbing skull.  

“For being a dipshit who can’t keep his dick in his pants for more than twenty four hours.  Everywhere we go a fight breaks out because you fucked someone’s wife, girlfriend, daughter, goat, whatever.”

“I can’t help it if all the ladies find me irresistible, Geralt.  And I would never fuck a goat!  Do you know how often they bathe?”

“That’s all that’s stopping you from indulging in a goat’s company?”  Geralt teased.

“You know what?  I’m not going to answer that.  I will not humor you.  I know you’re just trying to get a rise out of me.  I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid!”

Geralt rolled his eyes and walked away from the snarky young man, heading down the nearby hallway that was filled with the remaining empty rooms, which he had been lucky enough to snag while Jaskier put on his failed performance.

“Where are you going?”  Jaskier called out.

“To my room for the night because being around you is exhausting.”

Jaskier scoffed.  “Well, I never, witcher!”  He grabbed his chest over his heart, acting as if he had never been more offended in his life.  “You know, you’re not so pleasant to be around either, Mr. Ray of sunshine and daisies.”

“Just shut up and go to your room.”  Geralt ordered.

“What are you, my mother?” 

“Thank the gods I have no relation to you.  I barely tolerate you, Jaskier.  Down the hall, to the left.”  Geralt disappeared into his room, slamming the door behind him.

“Hmph.  He’s just jealous that the ladies love me.”  With his nose held high and hands in his hips, he waltzed down the hall and entered his own room for the night, ready to wash his godforsaken boots.

[curiouselfqueen]

Would you pickle yourself so you ended up looking somewhat like Yzma if it made you immortal?

No, because I really what’s the point of being immortal if you’re doing so while being scary beyond all reason?

....Yzma and Voldy should talk.  Or maybe not.

ohmygoshsomebodyswitchtheplots.  harryaccidentallygetsturnedintoalamma.