#uhg i love their friendship so much

[galedekarios]

that interview is driving me insane i've been thinking about it for the past hour and i still can't wrap my head around it. i think what really gets under my skin is it just... contradicts with the text of the game. the most positive possible reading of the ending where gale blows himself up is that it was an unavoidable tragedy dictated by fate but even that's a stretch. to say it's a good ending?? or a satisfying conclusion to his arc?? i call bull. it's more infuriating because there is such a clear good ending for gale's character arc and it's the professor ending! his arc was about learning to accept himself as he was, to value who he is as he is flaws and all, and he's done that in the professor ending! and the god of ambition ending is a bad end for him but still ties into his overall arc in a satisfying if sad way (imo). the ending where he dies just... doesn't. which is fine as a tragedy but to imply it isn't exactly that, a tragedy, is wild to me. and it being so blatantly contradictory to the actual events of the game makes me think that whole thing was just catering to people who hate gale which like... why? people who don't like him don't care about his story so why pander to them like this?

uhg. i am sorry for blowing up your inbox like this i just feel like i'm gonna rip my hair out and need to express that to a fellow gale appreciator. i love gale's epilogue SO MUCH it made me feel for a bit like maybe the writers had actually changed how they felt about him but. nope! silly of me to hope for that. wish i could memory wipe that whole interview from my brain dark urge style.

don't be sorry at all! 🖤 i feel the same way in a lot of ways. altho i feel the need to mention that gale's writer, jan van dosselaer, was not involved in this interview.

i started to make a meta post about this yesterday, but reading things like this from gale:

act ii [after elminster] Player: An old man with a craving for cheese. Hardly the great wizard of legend. Gale: A wizard doesn't reach Elminster's age without enjoying their home comforts. Those who seek danger over cheese don't tend to live as long. Gale: For Mystra to have sent him... The severity of her bidding could not be clearer. Or weigh more heavily on me. devnote: reflecting on mystra sending elminster, of all people - a powerful individual, becoming reflective. Gale: Time seems so infinite when you are young... a month is an age, a year is a lifetime... it is a strange feeling, to realise how little of it one might have left. Player: You're seriously considering doing what Elminster said?   Gale: Of course - he offered the clearest solution to our problem. All I have to do is find the right place and time, close my eyes, and let go... devnote: Trying to sound upbeat, not fully engaging with what he's saying (that he's going to kill himself). Gale: Then the slate will be clean, wrongs will be righted, the Absolute will be gone... devnote: Trying to sound upbeat, not fully engaging with what he's saying (that he's going to kill himself). Gale: ...and I along with it. devnote: Still trying to sound upbeat, though this time the reality that this means he will die weighs a bit heavier

and:

act ii [act ii romance scene] Gale: I am terrified - I will not claim otherwise. My face could scarcely conceal it even if my words sought to deny it. nodecontext: Hushed, vulnerable Gale: There is no point in running from the inevitable. Better to meet it, on my own terms. nodecontext: Resigned

as well as this:

act ii [act ii friendship version] Gale: Yes... but there is so much to live for, and so few moments in which to house it all. Gale: Damn you. Damn you for giving me so much to care about. Our friends, our adventures... this would have been so much easier if it was just me. But it isn't. Gale: If there is a way - any way - to save all that's grown dear to me, I want to seize it. I just cannot fathom what that might be, other than to fail Mystra and condemn the world. Gale: Stay with me, will you? I don't want to think of it any more, but I don't want to be alone either.

act iii [before the netherbrain] Player: Gale... I think we should consider using the orb as Mystra intended. To blow up the Netherbrain. Gale: I'm getting rather tired of how often those I care about seem to reach the same conclusion.

when you have this:

and i just... couldn't finish the meta.

it's absolutely beyond comprehension for me how anyone could try to frame this as an ending that is the right one in "many ways", as the "guy who starts off annoying everyone", eating your "most priced possessions", having to "give back to the world".

for the founder of the company to say he wasn't "ready" the "first time", but he's finally "ready" now.

gale's death isn't only unnecessary, an instruction given to him by his former mentor on the behalf of a goddess, who would've sacrificed not only him but thousands of others to achieve her own goals, he doesn't want to die. he's terrified. he wants to live. he is offering this because he believes that his time has run out. because he wants his death to have purpose if it must happen. because he feels he made a mistake far bigger than he can ever make up for. because he doesn't want others to waste their chance at life like he feels he has. the will he leaves behind in the epilogue if he sacrifices himself isn't finished because he thought there would be more time. i could go on and on.

and again, the question is too... for what exactly does he need to "give back to the world"?

being perceived as annoying after coming out of what is presented as isolation and depression? asking for help with a now chronic impairment that feeds on his very soul and wreaks havoc on his body? for making a mistake? by that logic every companion deserves the same fate.

which brings me to the contrast to how most of the other companions are framed in this interview: k*rlach, "the labrador of the party". l*e'zel, "she's so young". ast*rion, "much of what he does it out of fear". sh*dowheart, "the jason bourne" and "victim of religous trauma". w*ll, "the true baldur's gate hero".

the difference is staggering. there's empathy here. there's at least a surface level understanding and/or appreciation of the characters there.

...and then you have gale.

it's alienating and disappointing to see devs have so little respect and care for their own character, as well as for the parts of their fandom who have grown attached to the character exactly for the strengths and flaws he has, for the struggles he faces and for the healing journey he can have if he is helped and lives.

[lost-scarecrow]

baps you with the parry chart!!

they haven't really interacted much with scar, but they've been very kind towards them when they have interacted. they're a little wary right now (as they are with most outside people) but there's definitely a Friendship that can happen there!!

sonny and sea angel they are Very conflicted on. their opinion of sonny may slowly improve with time though

Uhg parry having a bad opinion on themself hurts so much but i get it, it's so in character. This poor sad bird I love them so much they deserve the world

[eggyrocks]

hi! im 35mm pride and prejudice ver. anon and I just binge read syrup and first of all I just absolutely adore all and every friend group you write, it feels like too in character, but also feels so pure and my heart aches because I want that too. I literally cried when yn was in her mood because shit hit the fan and they were all there for her and :((((( uhggggg

just wanna take this space to tell you how beautifully sweet and humane and bittersweet you write relationships. whether it's platonic or it's romantic or they are siblings or wtvs. its so fresh to read, for it to be so fun but also like these UHg moments where I'm like "just be supportive!!!" but you create these ways of everyone loving reader in their own way, you make them individuals that have their own complaints and do things their own ways.

I love all and every way you write nishinoya (that isn't thAT different from 35mm. truly. he's a funny little guy that is a bit dumb and has a big heart ) (hes my fave karasuno boy and my heart goes FERAL every time he does anything remotely sweet for yn) but I also love how you take effort in making secondary relationships, whether it's tsukki and tadashi or kageyama and goddamn iwa chan. I can't talk enough about how much thought you put into these cute little smaus, and I love reading your fun facts and how it adds a bit more to the magic within the smau and give us these little contexts of the characters and they feel like so much More™ and yeahh, I think I'm just rambling so much I'm so sorry<3 imma be binge reading all your stuff and expect me going all the way every once in a while here in the asks about how much I love your writing ✨ bye

I LOVE YOUR WORDS!!!! i also appreciate you saying this because sometimes i worried people might get bored with the friendship content/background relationship and be like “where’s the romance !” but it’s honestly so much fun to write and i love writing all the different dynamics and characters interacting it’s so fun im glad you have fun reading it the same way i do writing it 💗 also noya is my favorite as well i love him and writing them though i fear that is so insanely obvious lmao

THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS I APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH

[mandiemegatron]

(This is @laidenbreecatchall I wish Tumblr would let us use side blogs for asks 😔)

Oh my goodness congratulations on 900 followers!!!! I'm so happy for you that's so sick!!!! 💕💕

I got real excited about the give away too I went back and read my fav fics of yours to see which was #1 to me and my goodness 😤😤. I know I love the way you write but forget the details why until I'm reading your work again and just 😖💕 you write them so human and your dialogue is so natural and smooth, it's so so good. I do love Law, my lovely brooding bias, so my thoughts are mainly how you write him and gUAH!! Sometimes I feel like some authors condense him down to his tropes where you make him feel like a person and keep his intentions and motivations in mind. It's believable and I think in character of how your write him, at least in my mind it lines up perfectly with how I see him acting.

But my faaaaaav!! Was ✨Breathless✨!! cause OOAAAHGGGGGUHHH!!!! I love hands. I will not lie. Love em. Love his. And like it's so simple but such a tender intimate moment you wrote with the hand massage and mmmshdifudbhdufhf AND YOU WRITE HIM SO SNARKY AND CUTE!!!! AND WHEN HE LAUGHS!?!?!?!? ARRAAAGGG I WANNA HEAR IT I WANNA SEEEEE IT.... I should draw it 👁️👁️. Many fics make me all giddy and warm but this one gave me butterflies. Uhg. I adore it. I adore you. Your voice also comes through in your writing it makes it so fun and sweet and personable. It gives the writing this lovely charm I adore in your work.

Congrats again on 900 that's so incredible!!!! ✨💕✨💕✨💕

( PUNK HAZARD SPOILERS FYI. I'm gonna go read your Doflamingo fics now cause I haven't yet and I'm so curious. Cause I've just started dressrosa and... I won't lie I'm kinda loving him. I know he's crazy, and he walks stupid, and he dresses silly but when he kicked smokers ass I was like 😳🫡 *tucks hair behind ear* Sir do you need anything. That's neither here nor there or on topic. That's all byyyyyyye 💕💕)

RYEEE 😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖💖 my dearest rye you are such a fuckin wicked sick, awesome human and I'm honestly so like honored and like starstruck that you're not only mutuals with me but you also enjoy my work ?!?!?!? Like dude I could actually cry, I am obsessed with your work and I just literally go !!!!!!! whenever I see you post something 😭😭😭😭😭 STOOOPP I'm actually gunna cry, this is SO sweet of you my dude 😭😭😭😭💖

SMOOCHING YOU BC I FUCKIN LOVED WRITING BREATHLESS!!! I'm pretty sure that was either my first or second time writing him and I just see him as this snarky, silly but serious dude like I just want to see him happy and content you know 😭😭😭😭😭 THE MANS HAD IT HARD ENOUGH 😭😭😭😭😭 god the HANDS.... 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪 I too love them, if you couldn't tell 😭😭😂😂😂😂

Ooooo ~ 👀 hehehheheh I really hope you enjoy the Doffy pieces, I have it so bad for that man 😭😭😭😭 like sir you do you need a DOG ?! BARK BARK 🤪🤪🤪 f in the group chat for you reaching dressrosa, good luck forgetting about the crazy flamingo man 😈😈😈😈😈

Thank you SO much Rye for everything, I'm so happy and truly blessed to have your support and friendship 😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖 thank you thank you !!! Your star has been added to your name!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

@laidenbreecatchall

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

His Whole Heart

pairing: kaz brekker x reader

genre: fluff

Sat in the library surrounded by books and papers, a pencil held between her fingers, as she bit her thumb nail in concentration. Y/N flipped through a few books taking notes and marking pages as she read. She reached for her cup of tea and brought it to her lips, only to find it empty. Groaning, she stretched and started packing her bag before quickly making her way back to her dorm. 

As she walked through the halls she heard students whispering to each other “Have you heard?” “Everyone just has to know by now.” “I wonder what he did.” She paused next to a group of younger students, “I’m sorry… I couldn’t help but overhear. Um, who were you talking about?” A young girl handed her a paper, “His wanted posters are all over town.” Y/N looked down and the face she saw made her heart sink. “Thank you so much. Have a good rest of your evening.” She continued her way back to her dorm and sighed. Oh Kaz… What did you do now? 

~

Kaz sat in the tomb staring at the wall, deep in thought. He missed Y/N so much, but he knows he can’t go see her now. His face is everywhere. Someone would be bound to notice him at the university and report him. But he needed to see her so badly, she was his whole heart. After being together for almost two years but being friends for much longer, she became his source of comfort. 

He put himself and the rest of his crew in the situation. Not directly of course, and he knew that. But he still felt responsible. He looked around the tomb at Nina, Inej, Jesper, Wylan, and Matthias. Their lives were in his hands and he could feel himself starting to crack under the stress, but he’s the bastard of the barrel and he knew how to stay collected. 

A knock on the door made everyone jump and hold their respective weapons at the ready. Kaz motioned for Jesper to follow him as he limped to the door, cane in hand. Jesper pushed the door open and stood in shock. “Y/N?” 

“Yes yes. Move and let me in.” She huffed as she walked past him carrying a large basket on her arm. Kaz watched as she moved to the main sitting area and placed her stuff on the table, with wide eyes. Nina jumped out of her seat and tackled her in a hug, “Oh Saints, Y/N! I’ve missed you!” Inej quickly followed and embraced the two girls tightly. “It’s been months, of course you missed me!” Y/N smiled at the two of them, “I brought food and blankets ‘cause Saints know you all need it.” As she unpacked her basket Jesper spoke up, “How did you find us, Y/N/N?” 

“Let’s just say I’ve spent too much time with you lot.” She tossed a wink over her shoulder before pulling out the final few snacks. After greeting everyone and introducing herself to Matthias she turned to Kaz. Walking up to him, she placed a chaste kiss on his cheek and smiled up at him, “I’ve missed you.” Still in shock, all he could do was nod with a small smile. 

“Now. What did you do? Your face is all over the Barrel!” She led him to a seat as she continued to lecture him, not noticing the giggles slipping past Nina’s lips and Jesper’s smug grin. “All of you are in so much danger now. Uhg! I’m just grateful you all are safe for the moment. How did you find this place anyway? It’s a great hideout. Kinda creepy though, don’t you think? It being a tomb and all.” She sat down next to Kaz and sighed. He watched her and couldn’t help the amused smile making its way to his face. Even now, she finds a way to be the caretaker she is. Her ever giving spirit is still there even in all this darkness. 

Conversation started around the room and Kaz leaned over and whispered in her ear, “I love you so much.” She smiled and reached over for his gloved hand. 

Inej watched their small intimate interaction with a smile. She loved Y/N without falter, but she loved Kaz with her even more. She watched their friendship grow into this complex intricate love story. Always knowing both sides of the story because they both go to her for advice or just a listening ear. 

She knew Kaz was struggling with the fact of being apart from Y/N for so long. She knew of his sleepless nights and the burden he carried on his shoulders. Her heart hurt for him, but now she was so glad Y/N had somehow found them. 

Y/N had been a source of comfort to all of them over the last couple of years. Some part of her was what each of them needed, and Y/N knew that. Each of her crows held a special place in her heart, and she loved all of them equally. Well, one more than the rest. 

Yes, she fell for the Bastard of the Barrel. How? She doesn’t quite have the answer, but she will never regret it. She loved Kaz in spite of all his flaws and past trauma. He owned her whole heart as she owned his.

[bookishofalder]

Rainy Days

Spencer x Reader

Request: @starwithoutdarkness - Hey! I heard you were looking for requests! Maybe Spencer Reid x reader fake dating fluff? Combined with Request: @paulaern  - Hello!  What about Spencer Reid x reader when they realizes they love each other? Like reader makes something for Spencer and he thinks like "I can't deny anymore, I'm completely and hopeless in love with her" or something like that  (G!neutral if you want)

A/N: Thank you so much for sending in requests! Hope this makes you smile!

Warnings: Swearing, moderate BAU violence, creepy men, fluffiest fluff, intense headache description. Set randomly post prison Reid but Hotch is still there because he should have been! WC-2,488

Spencer was staring at the geo-profile he had been working on all day, very glad to be inside. The weather in Seattle had stayed consistently rainy for the two days the BAU team had been in town assisting in catching a killer, who had been committing serial robberies/murders with no apparent rhyme or reason. And while Spencer didn’t mind the rain, he did mind loud, busy cities. Combined, they usually led to a headache that would take a day or two to recover.

The door to the conference room he was working alone in burst open and slammed shut so suddenly he nearly jumped out of his skin, turning to see-

You.

Spencer hated it when you appeared without warning, catching him entirely off guard and presenting the risk that you would notice the visible effort it took for him to compose himself around you.

While he’d noticed how beautiful and hilarious and empathetic you were the moment you joined the team, he’d fallen in love with you when you had your first case with them. Spencer had begun to ramble about the specifics of casinos, and how ‘beating the house’ was nearly impossible, when the rest of the team had tuned out. A temporary member, Agent Seaver, had sneered ‘I’m sorry I asked.” Effectively shutting him up. But then you had turned in your seat next to him and, after shooting Seaver a look had asked him to continue. And though he didn’t have that much more to say, and it wasn’t all that interesting, you listened to every single word and thanked him.

It had been years since that had happened, your friendship had blossomed into best friends, something Spencer cherished immensely. This was partly why he shoved his feelings down. The relationship did not need to change for Spencer to remain happy; as long as he got to spend time with you at work, or watch movies and make tent forts in his living room. And visit his mom (who adored you and always gave you book recommendations that you would be sure to read the moment you could), or go to comic conventions and museums...yes, as long as he could always do those things with you, he was happy.

No need to risk changing a perfect thing.

Now though, you were shutting the door and giving him your most panicked look, wide-eyed, with your hair damp from the rain you no doubt had run through to get inside, accounting for your breathlessness. If it weren’t for the worry that had sprung up inside of him upon seeing your expression, he would have fixated on how beautiful you looked at that moment.

“Spencer, you’re my boyfriend.” You whisper yelled at him, quickly stepping closer and setting your bag down on the conference table.

“Wha-“ He began, but you cut him off frantically.

“I’ll explain-just, oh fuck-“

Spencer stood frozen to the spot as the door reopened and one of the senior detectives sauntered in, a friendly smile somewhat overshadowed by the almost predatorial glint in his eyes. You awkwardly stepped closer to Spencer, raising a hand in hello.

“Agent (Y/L/N), great to see you’re back, I was hoping to catch you before the end of the day!” He said merrily, placing two hands on the back of the nearest chair. Something about the way his hands gripped the chair made Spencer feel...on edge.

You gave the fakest little giggle Spencer had ever heard from you, “Oh, nice to see you too Detective! Just had to catch up with Agent Reid here...”

When his eyes moved from you to assess Spencer briefly, he felt a protective force rear up, instincts entirely at alert. Without hesitating, he casually draped an arm over your shoulder, brushing some hair back as he did, and replied, “And you promised we could get some coffee from the Starbucks down the road, hon.”

He enjoyed the way your cheeks flushed and noticed the pulse in your neck pick up. You glanced up at him, trying to look coy but he knew you too well and could see you were partly surprised, and also trying not to laugh.

“Um, of course, I nearly forgot, babe, let’s go in about 5-unless, did you need something specific, Detective?” She broke off to glance back at the now scowling man, who gave an annoyed jerk of his head before stomping back out of the room.

Once the door banged closed behind him, you let out the biggest sigh of relief, raising a hand to your face in dismay.

Spencer hadn’t removed his arm yet, “I’m assuming I just helped you avoid being asked out, but why-?”

“Uhg, Spencer, I’ve already turned him down TWICE since we’ve arrived! He’s literally the kind of dude who doesn’t take no for an answer unless another man has some fucking misogynistic claim over the woman!” You exclaimed, before moving to stand right in front of Spencer and lean just your head to his chest, staring down at the floor, “I hate everything.”

Spencer laughed, patting your back softly, but internally making note that he wouldn’t be letting you go anywhere alone for the rest of this case-that detective gave him the creeps. And while you were beyond capable of protecting yourself, he just knew he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything if he thought you could be hurt.

“Well, just so we’re clear I would never want to be called ‘babe’ in a relationship.” He joked and the desired effect was his immediate reward when you lifted your head and giggled-your genuine, beautiful little giggle-and then grinned.

“Spencer, you called me ‘hon’ like we were 70.”

Spencer considered a moment, “We could be, you’ll be Gladys and I’ll be-“

“Winston!” You supplied eagerly, and he frowned at you, trying not to laugh.

“Winston?”

“It’s really very dignified, the kind of name where people call you ‘sir’.” You replied cheekily, and while Spencer grinned, a part of him felt a swoop of pleasure when your lips formed the word ‘sir’.

He decided very quickly that he liked the idea of you calling him that. And then, just as swiftly dismissed that train of thought and chastised himself.

As you both stood together and laughed, the door swung open and Hotch and the team followed him in, all in various stages of the results of exposure to the rain, looking equally grim. Spencer and you abruptly stopped when you saw their expressions and launched back into work mode seamlessly.

———

Two days later, the team was closing in on the unsub and everyone was on high alert. Taking the profile and applying it to the geo-profile he had been working on, Spencer had narrowed down this grubby old apartment that sat above a nightclub as the most likely spot the unsub was staying at. Of course, they were arriving at night which meant the club was busy and loud, people lined up out the doors waiting for their chance to enter, pay too much for a drink and grind their bodies against strangers.

Spencer’s headache from the unforgiving rain was thrumming now with the music that seemed entirely unencumbered by the walls of the stairwell, the team slowly climbing. It was bad enough that his eyes narrowed somewhat, but he didn’t lose focus.

You were behind him, watching his six as Hotch and Morgan approached the door ahead and prepared to breach. Spencer slipped a hand behind his back and, on cue, you’re pinky wrapped with his. A brief promise to each other, ‘I’ve got you.’.

They had anticipated violence and heavy arms, so when their announcement was met with silence and the door was kicked open, the tactical response was to secure positions and carefully proceed. Agents and SWAT members lined the building and were, at that moment, securing the club below to ensure the unsub couldn’t flee into a room full of potential hostages.

Spencer and you were the third pair to enter, quickly moving ahead of the others to secure more rooms, eyes peeled for movement. The floor was covered in litter and random spots of dirt and dried substances. It smelled like body odour and axe body spray-which immediately went to Spencer’s headache and caused it to throb in protest.

“Freeze!”

You had shouted right as Spencer noticed the movement from a back room down the hall, as the unsub leaned out and, not abiding by the command, opened fire. Spencer grabbed you and swung you both behind the wall of the kitchen, out of the line of fire while he shouted the unsubs location.

You recovered quickly, dropping to the ground and leaning out to return fire as Hotch and Morgan ran across to the living room to join the battle. It only took a few moments after that before Morgan managed to get a shot to the suspect's shoulder and he fell with a cry of anguish.

You popped up from the ground, watching as Prentiss and Rossi moved forward to secure the man, and barked into your radio for medics to come in.

Spencer, meanwhile, was reeling. When the shots in the room had all joined together in a cacophony, sound and noise piercing his skull, it had converted to pain and panic in his skull, overwhelming him. He had used his own body to shield yours when he pulled you with him into the wall, and the caution he took with you meant he hadn’t caught himself carefully enough, his head bouncing lightly off of the stone wall.

Which, on a normal day would have simply been annoying. But today, with a headache so severe he was beginning to get spots in his vision, it was detrimental. The scene was secure, so he allowed his eyes to shut, a meagre reprieve but at least it was something, at least he didn’t have to see the beams from the flashlights or the pulsing of the neon signs outside of the windows...

“Winston, take my hand.” Your voice was so, so soft. Spencer let his mouth open slightly, a small rush of air all he managed, trying to say ‘I can’t-it hurts, make it stop’ but you grasped his hand tightly and pulled and he followed, his other hand reaching and grabbing that back of your vest, he let you lead him.

He knew from the reduced foot traffic of agents and crime scene workers that you were taking the rear exit, a stairwell that was narrower than the main. He peeked through his lashes to take the stairs, and then suddenly, the cool night air hit him and the door was closing behind you both.

You kept walking with purpose, leading Spencer further away from the loud building. The rain spattered his face but with each step the noise reduced and after a short walk it became relatively quiet.

“Sit.” You murmured, halting. Spencer opened his eyes and saw that you had led him to the farthest spot in the parking lot from the building, where trees lined the lot along a community park that was probably utilized by vagrants and drug dealers more than families. But there was a bench, and you were waiting for him to take a seat. You had pulled out a compact, expandable emergency rain shield from one of the pockets on your FBI utility belt and tossed it on the bench, protecting you both from soaking your underwear.

Spencer sat, setting his elbows on his legs and leaning forward with his hands pressed to his face. He took deep, steadying breaths as you joined him, your hand on the back of his neck. At first, he thought you were just resting it there because his FBI vest would have prevented him from feeling your hand on his back, however, a moment later it was joined by your other hand and a very cold object.

Resisting the urge to pull away, he gasped at the contact, “What-?”

“On-the-go cold compress, Doctor.” You explained, leaving it in place and then rummaging again. Spencer wanted to look but the compress, combined with the quiet, was already doing wonders. He continued to take deep breaths.

“When you’re ready, try this.” You said softly, pressing something to his hand. Opening his eyes, he saw a mini flask that had his name written on the side.

He turned his head slowly so as not to move the compress and met your eyes, which were assessing him with concern. “(Y/N), when did we start drinking on the job?”

You giggled quietly, “It’s just water mixed with this like, vitamin powder that’s supposed to be good for rehydrating you quickly. I did some research on how to help headaches like yours on the go, just in case, and I made this ‘Spencer’ care bag.” You rambled a little when he didn’t reply.

Spencer looked back at the flask and opened it, quickly downing the contents. It tasted pretty fruity and he realized he was thirsty, this taking the edge off.

“Is it okay?” You asked. Spencer raised his head and met your eyes, searching them.

He was overwhelmed, the headache already fading, in its place an intensely warm feeling building inside of him as he considered the time and effort you had taken to care for him. He hadn’t asked you, or hinted, you had just taken it on to find a way to help him and you were right there when he needed you the most.

You had always been there when he needed you. When he had been shot protecting Blake, when he struggled to care for his mother, when he had gone to prison, when he was freed, you were there.

The words tumbled out, unable to be contained a second longer.

“I am hopelessly in love with you.”

Your mouth opened and closed in surprise, taken entirely off guard. Though he worried what you would say, he couldn’t deny the relief he felt having finally said it out loud. He watched patiently as your mind processed his confession, holding his breath.

“I-Spencer,” And then suddenly your lips were pressing into his and the pain from his headache ceased entirely. Spencer was consumed by the feel of you against him, of your hands holding his face and the hum of content you gave when he returned your passion, dropping his flask and sliding his hands up your neck, gripping tenderly.

After what could have been hours, weeks, or years, you both broke apart, pulling back just enough to make eye contact without your eyes crossing. Neither of you let go, your breath puffing out in wisps in the cold night air.

“I love you too,” You breathed, “I could grow old with you, Winston.”

Spencer laughed, relief and happiness swooping through him at your words, “Gladys, I couldn’t imagine anything more perfect.”

Did you enjoy this story? Please consider reblogging or commenting to ease my inner turmoil as a writer. Likes are basically just a bookmark!

You grinned back at Spencer, and then he kissed you again.

[captainsspnanon]

Episode six!

Awww, Scarves for Caleb!  I forgot about this, it’s such a sweet thing.   ..also Liam is too damn attractive in a scarf what the fuck

Molly is talking about the swords and Beau goes “omg you killed your whole family” and I IMMEDIATELY look to Caleb, but no reaction.  I was hoping for a freeze or something, but Liam’s just chilling reading something (picking spells, I think?) so either missed it or chose not to react. Can’t tell which.

Molly is just lying for the sake of lying here.  I dunno, I’m not into it, but again, not full on hating it like I ended up.  But I can see the tiny grains of sand building up against him.  Like, he literally started saying that he didn’t actually need to pray over the swords and they just worked (true!), and then when it wasn’t clearly understood just went and spun a lie.  That’s so unneeded!  Eh, at least I realize that it’s a personal dislike of the charlatan character rather than not understanding why other people like it.  Just a personal preference.

God, watching the Brjeaus start to sloooowly form is amazing.  I love top table so much!!  also fuck the spelling of brjeaus I mess it up every damn time

Caleb and Fjord friendship SO GOOD!  I wasn’t a shipper for them, but I can see it. I’m almost a little sad that with Cad coming on to the scene I feel like Caleb and Fjord have less interactions, especially after Dashilla.  Well, also because the Empire Kids become so close as well.  BLAH.  I want ALL  THE FRIENDSHIPS ALL THE TIME.

UHG I MISS THRIFY!CALEB AND COUNTINGOUTCOINS!CALEB SO MUCH I will protest to being biased in any way shape or form.  LOOK, sorry to anyone reading these.  You’re going to be reading a loooot of Caleb love.  He’s just so by far my favorite.

Mmm, Liam’s doing a thing that I don’t like.  Sam made the decision that Nott was going to take an end of the line, and Liam’s like ‘nope I grab her and drag her to the middle’.  Didn’t like it when he did it with Vex, don’t like it now.  It worked a little bit when there was the Nott-is-like-his-child feel, but not so much now.  I know he stops doing it at some point, just don’t remember when.  Liam, I love you, but let other players make their own decisions.  Offer opinions, but don’t force it by dragging their PCs around.  (I’m sure if it was an actual issue that Laura, Sam, and/or Matt would have talked to him about it, so they were all probably fine with it, but personal peeve)

Travis’s face upon realizing that Nott had no fear when she was drunk!!!!

I’m really enjoying seeing Sam being so giddy and silly sitting next to Laura. I’m reminded of how in C1 (especially at the beginning) he didn’t really seem like he interacted physically with anyone.  It changed as it went on, especially towards the end, but he never seemed just as free and silly as he does here.  I think if in C3 he’s sat next to Travis it may be similar.  OH I can’t wait for new seating arrangement!  New PCs!  AAAAGH I NEED IT NOW I NEED IT NOWWWWWW

*ahem*

LOL Marisha is so impressed and disgusted by Liam’s quite vomiting sound effect

Ball bearings!  I love that these kept coming in to play throughout the campaign. Definitely mentioned in 111, I wonder if they were brought up again after?

Wait, Caleb killed with fire.  No wisdom saving throw?  Maybe not humanoid enough.

Daaamn, Armor of Agythis is bad ass at the lower levels!

[jangofctts]

You deserve all the love. We all are gonna make you cry by giving you all the love. 💛💛💛

Maybe Thorin did swoon internally. HAHAHAHA. Love the friendship between Cricket and Bofur. Cricket really found her kind of people among the dwarves.

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT??? Now you better post the Rivendell chapter soon!!! 😑 Can’t wait to see Cricket’s interaction with the elves. Wonder if they’ll get a tongue lashing from her too. 😂

thorin simply cannOt fathom that he finds cricket pretty and has just resorted to hating her inSTEAD LMFAO HES EMOTIONALLY STUNTED

and uhg yes i adore bofur so much, what a lad. and don’t worry! rivendell will be a new turning page so :) lot’s of developments ehehehe

oh and totally. cricket doesn’t give a shIT who she yells at ahdkdn she’d yell at the moon if she could

[ask-jokeboi]

The Party

Hope everyone's having a great holiday season so far! This time of year isn't always easy but thankfully friends and a good distraction can make things easier. 

I drew these pic’s to pair with a moderately long fic I wrote to follow up the aforementioned party from earlier, it’s below the the cut! Read it if you want! Either way, Happy Holidays! 💜💚💛

Words: 4,142    Relationships: Harlivy /Harley & Joker friendship / Batjokes (mentioned)     Universe: Mine / Lego Batman

A/N: sorry for any typos or weird grammatical stuff, I'm good at art, not writing

Summary: Joker’s felt a little down since Batman’s been out of town, will his best friend Harley be able to cheer him up?

Warnings: Alcohol use, implied depression

_____________________

"C'mon Jay it'll be be fun!" Cheered Harley, mustering all the enthusiasm she could in an attempt to persuade Gotham's former clown prince of crime to pull himself together 

"I don't care!…. Go bother your girlfriend or something. Leave me alone…" He was currently piled under several layers of blankets, sunk deep into the ball pit he called a bed

"Nuh uh, I'm not haulin' my butt outta this room 'till you haul yours. You can stay in that pit and cry all ya like, but it won't fix nothin', you gott-"

"I don't GOTTA do anything!" Jay snapped. Throwing his blanket aside and revealing his less than kempt appearance, his face twisted into a frustrated glare

Harley, already familiar with Jay's usual harmless outbursts only sighed as she looked her long time friend up and down, taking in his surroundings with a curious eye

It'd been a month or two since Batman left the scene and his absence was definitely beginning to take a toll on the poor clown.

She could tell it'd been a while since he'd done anything to care for himself…. His hair, which was usually swept back into a flawless green pomp, lazily draped his face. The dull forest black of his roots beginning to seep back into the rest of it. Same could be said for the state his room which, due to his erratic nature, was always a bit untidy  but had recently fallen into a state of near disrepair. Bags of half eaten junk food and empty bottles of all sorts of things lay strewn across the floor, particularly around his half deflated bed.

Despite the mess, he still seemed a little...thin… more so than usual to be honest… his ribs visible beneath the loose shirt he wore, arms comparable to sticks despite the muscle.

most of all though, he just seemed... tired. Jay always looked tired out of makeup. It was one of the first things she'd managed to take note of when he'd first entered her office years ago…. But right now the purple rings beneath his eyes that never seemed to go away were deepened to a point that made it clear he wasn't getting much sleep or doing much for himself in general...

Seeing her best friend in a state like this was hard to witness… and although her partner, Ivy, didn't have much but mild disdain for Jay, Harley couldn't find it in herself to leave him like this… which is why she thought a party might lift his spirits a little 

"C'mooon! You love parties!! It'll just be a small one anyway!" It was actually much bigger than she was implying but Jay liked big and she didn't wanna scare him off too soon… 

"Yeah, like that'll make things any better… who did you even invite?? A good half of the rogues don't even like me…"

"Sure they do!"

Jay only looked at her, bereft and unimpressed. 

"I mean ok you and Riddler don't always get along and it took a lot a beggin' ta get ya un-banned from the iceberg lounge but still!!"

"Uhg whatever! It doesn't matter! I don't need those bozos seein' me like this anyway..."

"Like what?" 

"I don't know!  I'm just…... I'm not in the right… mood for something like that right now.... You know how this works… they'd see right through me. "

Back when Jay was still her patient they'd end up talking a lot about masks…Batman's would come up more often than not but every now and then he'd end up discussing his own…. Or more specifically, the metaphorical one he'd put on every time he picked up a brush and painted himself a new face…..

"Jay, sweetie…  you don't have to pretend to be okay… they won't think you're weak or nothin', you know that right?..."

Jay gave her an incredibly tired look before turning away.

"What happened to the Jay that wasn't afraid to let people know how he's feelin' huh? The one that turned every emotion into a show….?"

He kept his head down, shoulders stiff, before speaking...

"....Cause I'm not just sad this time…. " As he looked up slowly an emotion that was rarely seen on the mans face showed itself, flooding his eyes. 

"W- when I'd talked to Robin and Batgirl that last time and asked about Batman they gave each other this look and…. Something's wrong… he's in trouble or something I… I can feel it…..  W-what if he doesn't come back and he leaves me here all alone an-" 

Harley put a polished nail up to Jay's lips and smiled warmly.

"Shhhh…. You're worryin' too much puds… ur big dumb brain is just an overdramatic liar… don't listen to it okay?" 

Jay sniffled, giving her an understanding nod.

"You still got me an' your crew an' Bud and all the other little silly things that make ya days good doncha?"

He smiles halfheartedly. "Y-yeah…. But still… he was..."

"I know… he's special….but do you seriously think anything out there could actually kill Batman? THE Batman? C'mon now….  He's luckier than any bastard out there and you know it…"

"Yeah…. Yeah I guess ur right"

"Of COURSE I'm right!… now come on…" she offers her hand and helps her friend stand up. "Let's get that hair done and those nails shined up  so you're brain can take a break from making all those nasty thoughts" 

Jay smiled a little wider this time, forever grateful he had a friend as great as Harley around… he really didn't know what he'd do without her sometimes...

"Right…. Also… uh…. Harley?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for….uh…. Bein'... around… I guess…" Jay practically mumbled...

Harley smiled knowingly, amused with his poor attempt of gratitude

"No problem, Pud's….." she gave him a peck on the forehead leaving a black smudge behind 

"now enough mush...Let's clean this mess and get ya fabbed up"

________________

A few hours later, Jay stood outside the titular iceberg lounge in his best winter fit, a long boa around his shoulders and a pair of unnecessary sunglasses obscuring the mascara he'd only half ruined on the way there…. 

He truly, honestly, did not feel like socializing with anyone at the moment, but who was he to refuse a doctor's orders?....

Taking a deep breath of the cold winter air, Jay stiffened up, smoothed the wrinkles from his vintage memphis style sweater and entered the lounge, heels high and head high as he could manage 

____________

When the doors swung open with a swirl of winter snow, Jay was greeted by a surprisingly full and stunningly silent room. Christmas music cut through the tension like a knife as everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to Joker's fashionably late arrival.

He didn't know if it was because of his natural ability to demand attention or the fact that he hadn't been seen in nearly 3 weeks, but for some reason the room seemed slightly on edge. worried he'd come with another Joker brand surprise perhaps. Thankfully, Harley, who'd left his place a little earlier to get everything ready, noticed who'd finally arrived.

"JJ!! YOU MADE IT!!" she leaped off her stool and came running to grab him, The rest of the room taking it as a cue to un-tense and to go back to their festivities, the lounge lighting up  with warm greetings and laughter.

" Hey…" said Jay as Harley put an arm around his shoulder and escorted him to the booth she was sitting at….  

"So… is all of this for me or…?"

"No, did she tell you that?" Ivy who was sitting at the booth with his other less than fond acquaintance, Catwoman and someone else he didn't seem to recognize, gave a snide smile, Jay suddenly felt he should probably sit someplace else

"IVY!! SHHH" Harley shushed

"What? He was gonna find out out eventually…. It was supposed to be Penguin's annual winter ball" 

"Uh,It still is tho…?" said Kat, mouth full of shrimp 

"Well, yah…. Difference is we had to 'finesse' Penguin into letting HIM in" Ivy explained, disdain in her voice

"And you... helped with that?..." asked Jay, surprised. Ivy sighed

"for Harley's sake, yes. not yours" 

Jay smiled, amused. "well how charitable of you, here's to hoping you won't regret it"

Ivy rolled her eyes. "As if I don't already" she said, taking a short sip from her drink, Harley sitting down next to her give her thank u peck on the cheek.

"Hey, why'd you get banned from this dump anyway?" Asked Kat, eyes squinting curiously 

"I have no idea…." Jay shrugged 

"He put a coke and mento bomb in the fountain!" Harley interrupted 

"Oh yeah…." He'd totally forgot

"Ha! Awesome…" 

"Right uh, anyway, who the hell are you?" Jays attention suddenly turned to the woman sitting opposite of kat. She had light blue skin, bright white eyes and hair that made her look like a human lighting rod.

"Name's Livewire." She said, voice sharp as her appearance 

"She's from Metropolis" explained Ivy. Jay rose a brow.

"Metropolis huh?? How'dya like dealin' with boy scout full time over there?" He quizzed 

"Sweet!…" she exclaimed enthusiastically "Big blue aint got a thing on me! 'sides, dweeb's been outta town for months now! metropolis might as well be my personal playground"

The mentioning of Superman's absence made something in Jay's chest twist. He'd known their neighbor hero had been MIA for even longer than Batman, Supergirl taking over the workload just like Batgirl had in Gotham. but still… the reminder was enough to worry him. I mean… if superman was taking so much time up there, what chance did Batman have against whatever it was they were so busy with??

Trying his best to shake off the uneasiness building in his stomach Jay took a breath and snapped back to reality, offering Livewire his hand

"Well, uh... Livewire, i'm this city's head honcho while the bat's gone so welcome to Gotham and try not to wear it out" 

Harley and Ivy exchanged looks as Jay smiled slyly and took Livewires hand…

...Only for his usual gesture of hospitality to be met with an equally shocking grip that sent blue sparks flying in every direction.

"DAMN, what the- !! " Jay yanked his hand back and held it in pain, hot needles running up his arm.The new addition to Harley's crew laughed crudely and smiled

 "why do you think they call me 'LIVEWIRE' genius?" 

Jay stayed silent with defeat as the table went up in hysterics "Yeah fine, okay, I shoulda saw that one coming" he sighed and smoothed out his hair which had sprung up to stand on end, his face ever so slightly red "anyway, you ladies have a nice time… i'll set up shop somewhere else and let you guys… idk… flirt with each other or whatever..." without much fanfare he slunk off to sit someplace else.

After the table had settled down completely though, Harley noticed Jay making his way to the bar looking somewhat dejected.

"Aw Jay…." 

The rest curiously turned their attention to the direction of Harley's gaze.

"You're not going after him are you?" Asked Ivy after a beat.

"Well… yeah…?" Harley shrugged.

"Uhm, why?" Asked kat, dipping more shrimp into her cocktail "like if he's not in the mood for a joke that's kinda his problem…?"

"Yeah, but still…. I've never seen 'im like this for so long…. He's usually so funny and animated, it's like somethin' drained all the life out of 'im…." The concern on Harley's face was very apparent. Ivy brushed back a few strands of her hair and tried her best to reassure her.

"Look i'm sure he'll get his second wind when Batman comes back at some point… but ‘til then it's not your job to take care of him…" 

Harley sighed silently. "I know but… he's still my best friend… and if I hadn't met him, I wouldn'ta met you!" She squished close to her spouse with a smile, Ivy suddenly unable to hold back a small one herself.

"He helped me outta my slump all those years ago, least I can do is help 'im outta his..."

Ivy gave her a soft look before reluctantly caving "Kindness has always been your best and worst trait, silly bee…" she said with a smirk "fine, go ahead and do your thing, I've got plenty of company over here in the meantime…"

Harley smiled happily and gave her one last kiss before running off to join Jay at the bar.

____________

Jay sat alone at the bar in silence until he was suddenly startled by Harley's arrival.

 "What's shakin' grumpy gills?" She asked pulling up a stool.

Jay didn't answer as the bartender slid over a funfetti martini topped with the works, Jay lazily catching it and drinking deeply.

"Those guys didn't get ta ya did they? I know they seem mean bu- "

"Ah… I don't care about them…" said Jay dismissively  "we're all villains here right? I'm sure they got their reasons… sides, Livewire's pretty fun even if she did fry my Joy buzzer" He said regretfully…

"So what's up then…?" Asked Harley, head tilted 

Jay looked down at the table with a frown, fingers anxiously scraping the side of the glass in his hand….

"What she'd said about metropolis…. And… superman…."

"Oh…"  Harley nodded "well…. I'm sure they're together wherever they are…. Right? Him and Batman? And I mean, with Superman around, he's bound to be okay….." 

Jay had a hard time matching her enthusiasm but that logic did comfort him some. "Yeah… yeah I guess so"

"C'mon Jay, you gotta get that stuff off your mind for a minute! Go mingle! Go dance!… look at everyone who came this time! Turn-out's never been so big!"

As Jay's looked around the room, Harley did have a point, usually these get-togethers only managed to scrounge up about half the gang, but it looked like almost all the rogues in town had come this time. Even D-listers like Polkadot man, Killer Moth, Crazy Quilt ect. Had managed to show up, plus people he didn't seem to recognize…

For example at the bar sat Scarecrow and a… Oddly scruffy looking man he looked to be sharing a drink with. He'd heard from Riddler over the phone some time ago that crow had found himself a friend and that the two were "in cahoots".  whatever that was supposed to mean. He supposed that must've been the "friend" in question…

A few tables down sat another unfamiliar  in a polkadot shirt and a pair of cracked thick lensed glasses. He had a peculiar looking puppet sitting on his lap which made J raise a brow, but he didn't judge. Looking at his woefully nervous face he guessed it must it must've been a security thing anyway… 

Despite the big crowd though, Jay did notice one person missing of whom he hadn't seen in quite a while...

"Yeah I guess everyone is here...  except uh, Lex I guess…?" Jay considered himself friends with metropolises king of corruption, even if the feeling wasn't always mutual. Seeing so many crooks he knew in one place made him realize how rare it was to see the mal hearted mogul at these things.

Unfortunately, Harley could only shrug with defeat. "Ah I tried to get Lex but you know how he is… nobody's seen that shut in for ages".

Jay's eyes narrowed at that "How long is ages…. ?" He pressed

"I dunno… a few months guess???  Livewire said he's been quiet lately, probably off in one of his labs making some over convoluted instrument of destruction I guess"

The growing list of missing big shots was beginning to piece something together in Jay's head… what on earth was Lex up to? Where was superman?? Why did the league need Batman's help? How did it all connect?? After a moment Harley noticed Jay slipping into his thoughts again and shook his shoulder lightly to pull him out of it.

"Hey, don't worry about that egghead. he'd only kill the mood if he were here anyway" 

Jay couldn't disagree, the billionaire was kind of notorious for being a giant stick in the mud.

"If you're really worried about what's goin' on with those guys, you can come up with a plan Tomorrow…. right now we got a' open dance floor, unlimited drinks and a Karaoke competition that's about ta kick off in ten"

The word 'Karaoke' was enough to snap Jay back to reality. "Did you say Karaoke?" 

"Yes, I did."

"Do they hav-"

"Yes, they have Queen" 

Jay nearly looked as if someone had told him the best news of his life. "Oh thank god" maybe Harley was right. Worrying would have to wait. 

_____________

The rest of the night went on with few hang ups. Drinks poured, music played and poorly screeched lyrics kept the mood upbeat.

The Karaoke stage hosted performance after performance, some more enthusiastic than others. Some painful, others surprisingly pleasant. Jay's teetered off the edge of both categories, but when "somebody to love" burst through those speakers, he'd sung it with his whole chest. The best performance by a long shot though had to be Ivy's who's affinity for 50's ballads lent to her beautifully rich voice and her's was closely followed by the Dent's who'd decided to attempt a duet with no chorus which everyone found somewhat impressive.

Emotions did flare up once or twice though, as they tend to do when it comes to villain gatherings. Ed and Jay got into a fight about something stupid and unimportant, both obviously enjoying themselves, Bane and Croc engaged in an arm wrestle that woefully ended in a tie, and Jay inevitably got worked up about Batman again, this time with a crowd of eager listeners somewhat entertained by his rambling, giving questionable advice here and there.

At the get-together's height, the dance floor had filled to the point where Penguin was just about ready to call the whole event off until Riddler dragged him on to the floor himself.

After another hour or so the party wound down some more and the night devolved into quiet discussions between friends, everyone either ready to leave or half asleep. Eventually Jay and Two-face of all people were left alone. Once Ed, Crow, Hatter and the rest had gone home.

Jay always liked Harv, for someone known for his temper he seemed to have a lot of patience and Jay found both of his selves uniquely interesting in their own ways. Harvey the "handsome" one was always very nice, easily flustered, and had a sadness in his eyes that was hard to ignore. "Dent", the one famous for all those 2 themed crimes, was a bold individual and one of the most brutally honest people he knew. That night though, even he seemed a little sad. He admitted later that it was because it'd been a while since he'd gotten to talk to his old pal Bruce, someone Jay was mildly familiar with of course, and they spent the rest of the night discussing Batman and wayne and how they seemed so similar until it really was time to head home. 

 sometime after midnight, long after everyone had either left or found someplace to pass out, Harley broke up with her girl gang again to come get Jay who'd fallen asleep in an empty booth.

"Wake up clown" she said loudly, nudging him a bit. Jay giggled quietly in response, turning over after a moment and opening his eyes.

"Oohh what's up??"

"Time to go." 

"Aw…" Jay huffed disappointedly, then did his best to sit up straight, his head slowly spinning as he did so "ah jeeze…"

"Don't worry I called one of your guys, he's waiting outside." She explained "I dragged you here, might as well drag you home" 

"You did that for me?" Jay smiled "That's so nice…."

"Mhm" carefully, she took his hand got him to his feet, doing her best to keep him up straight. As they headed out they met up with Ivy at the door

"Taking pennywise home?" She asked 

"It'll only take a minute" Harley assured 

"Alright… don't take too long…" she turned to leave but before she could, Jay suddenly spoke up.

"H-hey, Wait!" 

Ivy turned around, brow raised "You have something to say to me?"

"Uh… yeah? I mean… sort of? I just, uh… wanted to say i'm sorry for…  messing up your garden all those times…." 

Ivy blinked "Why are you telling me this now?"

"I just thought you shud kno….  And that um…. Maybe you'd hate me…. A little less... if I said sorry for once..." the frown on Jays face was absolutely pitiful, Ivy could only roll her eyes.

"I don't hate you… Joker"

"Oh?"

"I just think you're annoying…."

"Oh…." Jay couldn't really tell if that was any better but at the moment he was too drunk to care. "Okay…"

With that ivy turned around to join Kat and Livewire

"Thanks for the apology though I suppose…Take care of yourself…. And, Harley don't take too long… it's only 1:00am we still have plans."

"Don't worry Ive's  i'll catch up." 

after one last look, Ivy went back on her way and Harley continued walking J to his car.

As they went Jay hummed to himself, swaying slightly, until a certain thought made him go quiet again.

"....Harley….?" He asked suddenly.

"Yeah, J?"

"Am I a bad friend?" The question just as out of the blue as his apology to Ivy…. 

Harley looked at him, concerned "Why do ya ask?"

"I just…. Please?" He pleaded. Harley hesitated for a long moment but decided being honest was probably best.

" not exactly but… maybe sometimes"

"Hm…" Jay decided he'd have to work on that

"But I also know ya don't really wanna hurt anybody…. That you try your best everyday ta make people happy and that you've been through just as much any of us….  A few mean comments an' dumb pranks ain't gonna make anybody think you're the devil or somethin'….not me or any of the other guys... "

Jay had to smile at that, Harley always had something smart or nice to say no matter what. still, her answer only made him feel worse about how he'd been earlier when she was just trying to help… he really, honestly, didn't deserve her…. But the least he could do was let her know he was glad to have her...

"Harley…?"

"Yeah, J…"

"Thanks for being really, really great all the time… and… y'know… around… " Harley smiled as she secured his arm around her shoulders. 

"Thanks J..." 

"also sorry for sucking sometimes..."

She sighed. "It's fine Jay…."

carefully, she hauled his ragdolling body a few more feet and shoved him into the back seat of his car. J grunting as his head hit the leather seat.

"Now go home an' try not to get lost on your way to the door" She said sternly. Jay gave her a lazy wink and a pair of wobbly finger guns.

"Gotcha." 

with that,Harley slammed the door shut and the J-Mobile's engine roared to life. One his lackeys sitting in the driver's seat.

"Where to boss? HQ?"

"Yup… ah, sorry t' call ya out so late…"

"S'alright boss…. Don't worry about it"

As the car lurched forward, street lights shining in through the windows as snow fell ever so lightly over Gotham like a dusting of fresh powdered sugar, Jay did inevitably start thinking about Batman again, wondering when he'd come back, desperately wishing he knew anything about where he was right now….

The thoughts were hard to ignore and when he got home he knew he'd be surrounded by the same walls he'd spent the last month trapped with them in….  even so, the world felt a little less washed out than it had before he left, and it wasn't just because of the alcohol swirling in his blood. 

He may not have had Batman... But today reminded him he wasn't alone.

He had friends… real friends… In a way he'd always considered them such… but deep down there was always doubt. I mean sure he got along better with some than others, but after knowing people so long he shouldn't have been so dumb to think they hated him as much as he thought they did. 

When you're a villain in Gotham sometimes all you have are other weirdos in the same boat as you to help keep you and everyone else afloat. People need people in more ways than one…  and as Jay drifted off to sleep in the back of his gaudy getaway vehicle, laying in a position that was just barely comfortable, he pushed his worries aside and made sure that was something he'd never let himself forget.

~ End ~

[magical-awesome-kid]

I just thought of something.

You know what would have been great after Chloe got real pissed at Ladybug because she took the miraculous away and making that horrible deal with Hawkmoth? She finds out Adrien is Chat.

A part of me, the one influenced by Thomas’ campaign to make a 14 year old the second worst person in Paris, wants her to go off the deep end.

Like her holding his secret identity over his head to get him to be her boyfriend, to do horrible things, to be terrible to others. The angst would be amazing.

On the other hand, the slightly more rational and utterly fluffy me wants to see her go Full Zuko Redemption.

She goes through denial. She can’t believe it. That mangy hero and his terrible lady. No way could the cat be Adrien. She’ll go out of her way to tell everyone this.

Then the pieces start to fall together and oh shit. Maybe Adrien is Chat.

She goes through a period where she is a little more distant from everyone. She knows that there are students in her classroom that have held Miraculous thanks to her term under Hawkmoth. Who else would be a hero? Alya was Rena Rogue, Nino was Carapace. There was that Bunny Lady, who Chloe had no clue about. Was it a teacher? A student? Heck, was Ladybug in their midst?

She doesn’t want to tell even Sabrina, but she does get nicer. Sabrina’s been Akumatized because of Chloe and oh gosh she’s done terrible things to people and made poor Adrien suffer (she’s seen pictures and heard stories - Chat is always getting hurt).

Then she breaks and goes Full Feral Chloe and just. Kidnaps Adrien. Full stop does not care tells her dad to call his dad and make up excuses because he is with HER now.

And Adrien knows the signs of full feral and is like “Chloe are you ok? Do you need a hug?” Fully best boy. Does not want his friend to suffer (their friendship had drifted since starting school but Adrien was someone who tried to never give up on anyone).

Chloe is like “Am I ok? AM I OK? You were thrown through a wall last week! Turned into a talking Banana the week before! You had that week long akuma fight and still showed up to everything! I KNEW you looked terrible!”

Adrien is so confused because he has no idea what is going on he has feral Chloe but then pieces click together as she rants and he internally Flips. Did she…

“Chloe, I’m not…”

“Nope! Shut it, Adrikins! I know your secret! For heavens sake, where was I? Oh yeah, the BUILDING FIRE!”

So Chloe stews but when she’s done she falls on whatever couch she’s had Adrien sitting on and sighs heavily. Adrien is trying to keep calm as he puts a hand on her shoulder. “Better?” He asks.

“No.” She replies, sniffing. “You’re the hero partner of that dumb bug, and I can’t even ream out Hawkmoth for making you do that. She’s a jerk, and he’s worse.”

“I’m not…”

“Can it or I can you. I know for sure.”

Adrien sighs as Plagg flies out. “Cat’s outta the bag, kid.” The Kwami jokes. “I’m Plagg, by the way. You got any cheese?”

“I’ll call you a charcuterie board in a second.” Chloe returns.

“Kid, I like this one.”

Adrien runs his face. “Now what? What are you going to do with this info? If you tell anyone, then Me and everyone will be in danger.” He clenches his fists. “My dad was already turned once. I can’t let that happen again.”

“As much as I would like to tell everyone that you are a superhero, I won’t tell.” She replies, lying her head on his shoulder. “But you gotta tell me who Ladybug is.”

“I wish I knew.” He sighs. “We got our miraculous from the original Guardian, Fu, before he passed it on to her. I only know a few of the other heroes.” He paused. “Also I like Ladybug so please be nice.”

“UHG but she’s so ANNOYING!”

They spend a few hours talking things over and Chloe agrees not to tell only if Adrien agrees to a mani-pedi day down in their spa and to gossip. Adrien laughs and accepts, and he’s weirdly at peace with this?

Chloe now goes out of her way to make Adrien’s life as easy as possible. Any time he needs an out, she’ll either pull a distraction (“the cameras love me, Adrikins”) or outright have her father make some calls to cover for the boy. She nearly slips a few times, but she is still a good liar. She still feuds with Ladybug (and Marinette, but that’s unrelated.).

Then she gets Akumized again. Her half-sister Zoe appears, and Chloe gets a bit jealous at how easily she gets along with everyone. How nice she is.

And then when the new Bee Miraculous shows up, she knows.

Hawkmoth can’t read latent thoughts, only current ones, and Chloe, upon realizing who is in her head and what is going on, goes Full Feral and just SCREAMS at Hawkmoth because he just KEEPS CAUSING TROUBLE FOR HER FRIENDS! She never explicitly says Adrien and Chat are the same but ho boy does she lay into Hawkmoth because he has Pissed Her Off.

The fighting causes earthquake ripples bringing Ladybug and Chat to her. Upon seeing Chat, she finally throws the stupid butterfly out of her brain for good.

Ladybug, having figured out the charm, tried to offer one to Chloe, but she won’t take it unless Chat makes it. Adrien is like “that’s now how it works” but Ladybug encourages him to try. He finds that he can make his own charm, one that “destroys” anger and sadness through calming purr-like vibrations. It looks like Ladybug’s charm for Chloe but no dots and instead with little added cat ears.

Chloe accepts that, huffing that Chat is obviously the better hero because he can do everything Ladybug does AND BETTER and storms off, slipping in the charm, which took the form of a ring.

Overtime Chloe is still a little evil, but she uses her powers for good. When an Akuma comes for her, with the charm, it can land on her but not take. She goes out of her way to catch them like a mini hero. It doesn’t always work, but she’s doing her best.

Adrien finally brings it up with Ladybug as Chat. He thinks Chloe is trying and that she could make an amazing hero again, especially since Carapace and Rena have returned even with their identities blown. Ladybug doesn’t want to agree, but Tikki points out how much Chloe has gotten better.

She doesn’t get the Bee back. That will stay designated to Zoe.

But maybe there is another that fits her best…

[momentsofbllove]

A year of BL Love

I discovered BL for the first time this year, and boy what a year it was! I wanted to write up a quick and simple review of the shows that I watched just to finish off the year. So here goes! (Spoilers EVERYWHERE. So... be careful.)

Shows that I loved, will definitely rewatch in the future, and will skip very little of when I do:

The Untamed - beautiful story, beautiful production, all around worth every second of the 50 episodes. technically not a BL because of censorship, but still managed to portray the most beautiful love story I watched all year. Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan deserve every second of the acclaim and praise they have received for this masterpiece! 10/10

Until We Meet Again - I love every couple in this series with all my heart! a lot of people felt it was slow but I honestly just thought it was a beautiful story full of love and heartache and friendship and just... uhg, everything. I will rewatch this one again and again and again. 10/10

Like In The Movies - this one was heartbreaking and hopeful and beautiful and tragic and sweet and just altogether perfect in every way. I need the sequel right now immediately please! 10/10

He’s Coming To Me - this one was so good?!! I don’t know how a show about a love story between a ghost that was murdered 20 years ago and a university student could be so perfect, but it was? the only thing that was a little iffy was the previous relationship between Met and Thun’s mom. this one is sweet and sad (Met is dead afterall) and has love and mystery and good side characters and friendships. yeah. just altogether great. 9/10

HIStory 3: Trapped - fascinating story (I want so many more BL’s that AREN’T set in high school/university please!) and great chemistry between both couples. the acting was fantastic and the storyline was compelling. I truly love this show except for the fact that we’re not getting that sequel they were hinting at and that makes me SAD because it makes the ending hurt so much even if it was a hopeful one. 9/10

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line - cute story, amazing actors, wonderful side characters, just all around great! the only reason it’s not getting a perfect score is because I feel very OLD when watching highschool storylines. it makes the intimate scenes... awkward. even if the actors are adults. 9/10

Where Your Eyes Linger - loved the storyline, loved the chemistry and dynamics of the couple, the ending was rushed and left me wanting so much more, but since it was one of the first Korean BL’s to ever be produced it was wonderful. 8/10

Cherry Magic - I love Adachi and Kurosawa with all my heart! this show was so good. so so good! the only reason I’m not giving it a higher rating is because Tsuge and Minato’s storyline gives me so much secondhand embarrassment ALL THE TIME! but they’re still so cute despite that, so it’s not horrible. Rokkaku and Fujisaki are SO CUTE and the perfect side characters. basically this show is perfect (except for the second hand embarrassment) and the fact that we never got a proper kiss. like... I don’t need skinship in every BL show I watch, but that last second cutaway in the end was just... frustrating. 8/10

Theory of Love - OffGun have my whole heart and are 80% of the reason I love this show so much. but also I really liked the story line and the way Third and Kai’s relationship progressed throughout the show. it had a perfect resolution for all the couples (including the teacher/student ‘couple’ which I usually HATE) and was definitely a stand out from all the multitude of ‘university’ shows out there. 8/10

3 Will Be Free - this was was so interesting and lovely and tragic and I loved every single second of it... up until the last ten minutes. I almost put it lower just because of the ending. we deserved a happy, loving bisexual polyship d*mn it! but I’ll definitely rewatch it again. and stop right before the end when I do. 8/10

Because of You 2020 - ridiculous nonsense that I will gladly watch again! really there is no justifying this one being in my top list because it is NONSENSE but it makes me happy and that’s all that matters. all three couples are adorable and the last scene makes me smile so much! 8/10

Shows that I liked and will probably watch again, but will be skipping a lot of parts when I do: 

My Engineer - this show should be in my top list. but I HATE BohnDuen so much. so so much. and they are the main couple. so because of them when I rewatch this show (which I have several times now) I have to skip 60% of it because I really really hate them. so much. but the other three couples make up for it - especially RamKing who GIVE ME LIFE - so it’s at the top of my ‘not the top’ list. 7/10

Mr. Heart - this one was cute, but I felt like the couple was very... lop-sided. Sang Ha was almost obsessed with Jin Won before they ever even properly met and that gave me a weird feeling. their relationship was cute by the end, but... idk. and the whole side story with Sang Ha and the debt collectors was... odd. I felt like it was a very serious storyline that they did not take seriously at all. very off-putting. but altogether the show was cute enough, and short enough, to deserve a rewatch. 6/10

Why R U - I just... did not like SaifahZon. like... at all. Zon’s character annoyed me, their dynamic was... off, and Zon’s sister makes me so mad I can’t watch her at all. I adore FighterTutor (they are one of my favorite couples which is why this show is still getting such a high rating) and I have rewatched their part of the show 3 times now. but the rest, including the THREE other side couples (seriously? 5 couples in one show? why? it’s too f*cking much!)... no. no thank you. 6/10

Roommates The Series - it was cute, and did very well on a VERY low budget and a very limited cast because they filmed during the pandemic (or after the worst of it was over in their country at least). the side female characters were great (a rarity in BL’s for sure!) and there was a few really great scenes that I loved. altogether a bit of a lackluster show compared to others, but definitely worth at least one watch. 6/10

Tharntype - I know how problematic this show is, alright? but it’s fictional, and sometimes people like things in their fictional stories that they HATE in real life... all the very serious consent issues for one. that being said, if I had been watching the show as it aired I probably would have given up on it by, like, episode 2. as it was I knew everything that happened before I ever started watching and that gave me the freedom to appreciate the storyline for what it would become at the end. I love MewGulf and the way they portrayed Tharn and Type. I thought Tar’s storyline was interesting and heartbreaking and he is a precious bean that I want to protect with all my heart. however, a big factor in this series not making it into my top list is the handling of Lhong and the ending of his story. you want me to feel sorry for that monster? are you kidding me?!! he should have been locked up in prison for the rest of his life, not had Tharn’s brother come APOLOGIZE to him as if he was the one who was wronged. if that hadn’t happened, despite all the problematic things in this show, I would probably have put this in my top list. 6/10

Wish You - this one had SO MUCH POTENTIEL. the storyline was unique, the ‘twist’ reveal was interesting, and the main characters had a lot of chemistry. and everything was RUSHED RUSHED RUSHED! this show needed at LEAST 5-6 more episodes. there was no time to develop the relationship between In Soo and Sang Yi, and I wanted them to so badly! there was no time to deal with the ‘twist’ and the fallout that happened from it. everything just happened and then you moved on, and then more things happened and you moved on. uhg. despite all that I’m putting this one a little higher because the actors, writing, and production value were very good. but gosh do I wish there was so much more of it. the wasted potential is painful. 6/10

The Effect - wow. this one was... not what I was expecting. be cautious of watching this because it could be VERY triggering. but the acting was PHENOMENAL! I think they took a very dark and serious subject and portrayed it with a lot of care. one of the best things about it was Shin’s friends reaction to his trauma and how carefully and kindly they helped him heal. beautiful to watch! the only reason this is not getting a higher rating is because that ending was INFURIATING! absolutely unforgivable for them to leave it so ambiguous like that. Shin deserved to have a clear and obvious happy ending. not... whatever the hell that was. 6/10

Love By Chance - AePete are precious and adorable and I love them. But Ae’s possessiveness in the later episodes really bothers me, the fact that Perth was 17 when they were filming really bothers me, and once AePete get together halfway through the show it’s like they just get dropped to focus on TinCan which is a couple I can’t stand even a little. and don’t even get me STARTED on Techno and Kengkla. just... just don’t. that whole ‘relationship’ is 85% of the reason I refuse to watch the sequel. altogether, I probably WON’T watch this one again, but I probably would at least have watched the AePete and TumTar (yes, I liked them leave me alone about it) storylines if Perth wasn’t so young, so I’m still giving it a 5/10

Together With Me - MaxTul are fire both on and off screen and I love them with all my heart, but I hated, like, 95% of the show that wasn’t strictly about them. teacher/student storyline? gross. couple with a huge age-gap that ends up being super toxic and emotionally destroying a sweet and lovely character? thanks, I HATE IT. yet another BL portraying the girlfriend as a conniving b*tch so that we’re okay with one half of the main couple being a cheater while they figure out their sexuality crisis? ew ew and more ew. honestly if it wasn’t for the fact that they had two fantastic side female characters (again, such a rarity in BL’s!) and the pure intense chemistry between KornKnock this show probably would have been put even lower. 5/10

Dark Blue Kiss - I can’t stand PeteKao? like... why do so many people love them so much? Pete is SO JEALOUS ALL THE TIME! I just want to smack him! and he’s also completely not understanding of Kao’s fear of coming out. he basically spent the entire show sabotaging his own relationship and then blaming it all on Kao! uhg. no. just no. but I love SunMork with all my heart and wanted them to have so much more development and screen time. it would have made the final scene with them so much better if they had just had TIME to really show their relationship and how it grew, instead of just getting them together and deciding that was good enough. I’ll watch their part again I’m sure, but only their part. 5/10

Shows that were very subpar - I may rewatch some of these for a specific couple but only if I’m really bored and feel like skipping 80% of the show:

#MyDay - I know there’s a lot of people that really like this one. but... oof. the writing was so bad. so so bad! the pacing of the show was weird, there were some major moments that needed a LOT more attention, and some minor moments that got way more screen time than they needed. things were just... awkward all the time when they weren’t meant to be. and again, we have a character that needed to go TO PRISON but ended up being forgiven in the end. just... no. I’m honestly only putting this show as high as I am because the chemistry between Ace and Sky was fantastic. but that wasn’t enough to save this trainwreck. I might watch the sequel for them. maybe. but also maybe not. 4/10

Quaranthings - this one had so much potential but was honestly just so subpar in the end. I really just don’t even have much to say about it. it’s worth watching, I guess. but put it at the bottom of your list, after you’ve watched all the better stuff. 4/10

YYY (and the 3 special eps) - look... weird shows are just not my thing. I love Lay and his portrayal of Punn, Nott was okay as the lead character, but the side characters and storylines were... bizarre. I get that it was supposed to be a parody of other BL’s and their tropes... but honestly I like tropes. and this show was just... too bizarre. especially the three special episodes. in fact... I’m just now remembering I never watched the 3rd one. oops. 4/10

En of Love - This was such a mix and match of good and bad. I didn’t like Tossara AT ALL. Gun pressured Bar into that relationship, including flat out blackmailing him with his necklace to force him to go out with him! they may have been happy in the end, but Bar was CLEARLY uncomfortable with Gun’s advances for most of the first three episodes and it really grossed me out. I kind of liked Mark and Vee together, but the issue with Mark’s girlfriend was frustrating and their whole relationship was just a little bit toxic. and I actually liked Neua and Pra-Ram... AFTER they let us know that Pra-Ram was a legal adult. I hated their relationship up until they had the birthday party because I thought Pra was 17. I’m still a little iffy about a very experienced third year student in university dating a very inexperienced high school student. but at least it wasn’t ILLEGAL. oof. 4/10

HIStory 1: Obsessed/Stay Away from Me/My Hero - My Hero and Stay Away From Me were cute enough although I’ll probably never rewatch them, but Obsessed was toxic and horrible and gross in all senses of the word. -4 for that one which puts the whole series at a 3/10

Tien Bromance - y’all this one is... I don’t even know how to describe it. weird. bizarre. confusing. badly written. strangely acted. (the acting wasn’t bad... it was just... strange.) I watched the special episodes first and thought it was just a cute little domestic family drama with some strange moments. then I watched the rest. and the fact that the first episode started off with a ghost possessing and killing like 8 people while they were on vacation at a lake was the least weird thing that happened. 3/10

Craving You - no. the storyline makes no sense. why are a popular cake baker and an upcoming musician partnering together? why? it doesn’t make any sense! And one of the lead actors is just SO BLAND. I think he was going for ‘quiet and sad’ but just ended up with ‘emotionless and boring’. the most compelling part of the show was the side character dealing with the unexplored feelings that he had for his first love that were denied to him by a homophobic family and how those feelings are now interfering with his current relationship. the rest was pointless and bland. 3/10

My Gear and Your Gown - I liked this one SO MUCH for the first 3-4 episodes. then is went downhill and FAST. Pai and Itt had no chemistry for the last 8 episodes. they spend the whole show angry at each other and then we’re just supposed to accept them getting together in the end because Itt confessed his feelings. like... that’s not enough! the best part of the show was PureFolk. Pure finally believing in love again because he met the ray of sunshine and sweetness that is Folk? yes please! but even their storyline was not fantastic because it got rushed and pushed aside in the end to focus on Pai and Itt breaking up AGAIN and having to deal with the issue of homophobic parents for all of one episode. the last episode was so pointless! there was no reason to shoehorn in that last little bit of drama. none. 3/10

Oxygen - uhg. I do not understand why so many people liked this one so much. Solo’s feelings for Gui were UNHEALTHY. he became obsessed with him over one tiny act of kindness! that’s... that’s not love. that is a broken young boy desperately seeking out love and forcing it onto someone because he doesn’t know what it’s supposed to be like. and the side story with the fujoshi barista and her brother and the doctors was creepy and weird. the only good part of this show was PhuKao but they got about 3 minutes of screen time per episode. I would watch a sequel with them in a heart beat, but leave everyone else out of it! 2/10

Shows I’m currently watching but haven’t finished airing yet so my rating may change:

Manner of Death - this show is EVERYTHING! the murder mystery, the suspense, the suspicion, the CHEMISTRY! I have no idea what’s going on or who I trust or don’t trust (except for Dr. Bunn and Sorn, they are precious rays of sunshine!) but I love every second of it. MaxTul are FIRE and I am so so happy to get to watch them in a story like this! 10/10

Ingredients - this show is EVERYTHING! and yes, I just said that about MoD, but this one is on the complete opposite side of the ‘everything’ spectrum and I love it with all my heart. Win and Tops are SO. FREAKING. CUTE! their pining for each other for eighteen d*mn episodes was so beautiful and sweet and infuriating! their love for each other as friends above all else is precious and perfect! and now that they’re actually together my heart just bursts every time I see them. I think the series only has 1 or 2 episodes left and I am DEVESTATED because I want 20 more! 10/10

TonhonChonlatee - I watched the first two episodes then stopped. I’ve been ‘watching’ the rest via people’s reactions to new episodes online. I get that Tonhon’s homophobia and toxic masculinity is supposed to be awful and is a major plot point in the show... but I don’t want to f*cking WATCH it! I’m hoping we’re getting to a point in the show where he’s calming the f*ck down and starting to learn better and BE better. I want to watch this show. but I can’t watch THAT. 3/10

Color Rush - this one has started off fantastically! the story is interesting and the characters are compelling already. but... I can tell you right now that it’s going to go the way of all the other Korean BL’s that came out this year. it’s not going to have enough time. AT ALL. it’s going to be rushed, I just know it. I applaud Korea for getting into BL’s in the first place and for giving us such interesting storylines and characters to watch, but these 10 minute, 8 episode shows are KILLING me with want of better development! 7/10

Well dang! That was... a lot! lol! Sorry for making such a long post, but BL’s have been such a huge part of my life this year I really just wanted to get my thoughts and feelings about everything out. I was originally going to make a part of the post be about my favorite (and not favorite) couples, but I’m going to end this here and put the couples in their own post.

My ask box is always open to discuss any and all shows on this list. You agree with my faves and want someone to talk to about them, hit me up! You disagree with my not-faves and want to tell me why... let me hear your opinion. You have suggestions for shows that I definitely should have watched by now but have somehow looked over... give them to me! I’ve got a whole new year to fill with beautiful couples and interesting stories!

[vndooms]

Mal ~ character ask 🐲

thank you for this one too!!! 🥰🥰

OTP for them: bal is just so good i can’t believe it. she really does just fall for him in such a way that makes me so soft inside 🥺🥺 she wants to be with him forever and he wants to be with her just as long... true love

BROTP for them: JAY AND MAL are perhaps actually my biggest descendants ship truly rivaling jaylos bc i just... i love them. i eat this shit up. their like weird friendship repression on the isle, their group forming around them, the way he cares so much abt her, the way she needs him, everything everything.... the childhood friends!!!! sibling dynamics!!!! this is actually a relationship dynamic i’ve been obsessed w that id boil down to: brother & sister figures where they go to mcdonald’s and the sister makes the brother buy her a twenty piece nugget and doesn’t share even a single one. it’s just... chefs kiss.

Other ships: malvie :( it’s genuinely good and evie was canonically one love w her and i like it in aus a lot i just.... bal

What kind of fic I’d write about them: i think i’d like to write smth specifically abt her art :) just a character study focused on her art.

A favorite canon moment: WHEN when she says they’re not their parents and just.... uhg i literally cry. miss cameron really went off w the acting where’s her oscar for that one.

Color that reminds me of them: like.... it’s purple

Song that reminds me of them: ohh i have many.... but we’re going with new - yves

A headcanon about them: mal just wants to be normal. everything she cites as a reason for choosing good is just normalcy—and then she’s thrust into another high pressure role instead and that’s why she’s so..... so like that in the other two films. bc she hasn’t got what she wanted by choosing good at all—which was just to be a normal kid. n i think it takes her a long time to really address this.

A random AU I think up on the spot for them: mal as a famous portrait artist. i’m having thoughts but not words. she paints the other’s portraits and it would be like. a thing. abt the connections between people they art.

Anything else: i just think her character arc isn’t finished at the end of d3. i think she got too swept up in her role, even as she and ben (who i think also wishes he was just normal, but is more comfortable with navigating not being normal) try to keep things steady, and he understands her, and she has her friends, she never gets to just be mal.

[saramelcky]

Fragments - Chapter 3

Bucky Barnes x Mom!reader

Summary: Y/n, Bucky and Grace have breakfast together. Bucky opens up more about what he’s going through, so does Y/n.

Word count: 2.3k

Chapter Warnings: Feelings. A little bit of angst. Some bad words maybe.

A/N: I’m back! Well, I don’t know if I will stay active for long but at least I finished this chapter...it took me soooo long. I hope you will like it and I hope I will be able to write the next one ASAP! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Fragments Masterlist

'We'll be there in ten minutes' says the message Y/n has sent to bucky. It's been fifteen actually, sixteen minutes since that message and Bucky's leg can't stop hopping up and down under the white table of the cafeteria. He puts his left hand on it trying to stop the movement with no success. The door opens catching his attention: Y/n and her little girl are standing there looking for Bucky in the crowded local; when Grace sees the man she can't stop a joyful scream while running towards him to hug him.

"Hey, little girl!" Says Bucky "how's it going?" He asks.  "I'm not little! I'm a big girl" she corrects him. Y/n giggles sitting at the table only moments later. "Hey Bucky, I'm sorry we're late" She apologies to him. "Oh don't be, I was just a little worried, but that's on my anxiety" he giggles the stress away. "I'll send you more texts next time" she laughs lightly.  "It...seems fair" he adds forgetting the previous stress. "You know I colored a picture yesterday, Bucket!" The little girl cuts their laughing off by tugging Bucky's sleeve. "Oh really? What was it?" He asks while Grace climbs up to his lap. "It was me and the big dog from the park hugging like you and mommy did yesterday" the two adults cheeks burn to the ears. "Okay sweetheart, what do you want for breakfast?" Y/n tries to change the subject.  "Coffee!" the girl says joyfully.  "Grace, coffee is for grownups. Like mommy and Bucky. Would you like some milk and brownies?" Her mom smirks at her trying to convince her. "Mommy, I'm a big girl now" She pouts. Bucky whispers something to the little's ear and her eyes widen in joy hugging the man's chest tightly. Y/n is confused and watches him baffled. He nods his head letting her know everything is under control while a waitress picks up their order.

While waiting for their food, the tension starts growing and Grace is not helping anymore with the conversation as she plays with the plates of Bucky's arm. "So, Uhm, about the prosthetic, you wanted to talk about it, didn't you?" Y/n asks.  "Yes, it's about the funds" he says. "Oh, is there a problem?" She's concerned and starts picking at her nails.  "Well, not a problem but a change" he sighs "Grace won't be in Stark's project, it wouldn't be fair to those who were previously chosen, but she'll still have her arm, I will personally pay it since I broke it." Y/n was speechless, a mix of thankfulness for the kind act and stubborn pride that doesn't want him to pay for everything. "I...I don't know what to say" are the only words that escape her mouth. She tries to cover her tears flowing with a smile. "Hey hey, it's okay" Bucky says putting a hand on her shoulder. "Is mommy sad?" Grace asked. "No honey...mommy's really happy" Y/n says wiping off the salty drops "really happy" she repeats. As the food arrives, Grace gets off Bucky's lap and sits between the adults devouring her breakfast in a second. "Mommy I finished" she turns to bucky and he nods. "Bucket told me that to be a big girl I have to listen to you" Y/n nods. "I ate everything so I am a real big girl now" Y/n still nods while Bucky looks at Grace intrigued. "Can I drink your coffee, please?" Grace asks with the most joyful smile of all. Bucky burst into laughs and Y/n is taken back. "So that was what you secretly talked about uh" Y/n smiles "Oh no no" Bucky corrects her "I just told her to be good, the coffee part is completely hers". They both laugh while Grace, in all seriousness, continues to talk about how she deserves that coffee "I'm sorry Bucky, today she woke up with this thing of being a big girl, she just doesn't stop saying she is an adult and stuff like that" she smiles at him "Oh that's not a problem, I lived with the most stubborn boy in Brooklyn eighty years ago, I know how it feels like" he giggles "Well, you weren't Steve's mom, poor woman" Y/n says still smiling while Bucky, at Steve and Sarah's mention, suddenly loses his joy. "Uhm yeah, It felt like it before...before everything happened" he struggles to say the entire sentence without crying. Y/n notices the weird uneasiness and the sad tone in his voice. "Hey, do you want to talk about it?" She suggests. "I don't want to ruin your morning, the baby doesn't need to hear about my messy mind and I bet you have more important things to do" he stares at his hands without looking up to them. "Okay, I'll call this friend of mine so she will pick up Grace to my apartment and we can stay here and talk" she dials Lucy's number on her phone "or we can go everywhere else, just as you like" she says. "Thanks, but I don't want to pity you" he responds. "You are not pitying me, I'll talk about my messy life too if this helps you" she gives him a wide smile before calling her friend.

"Thank you so much, Lucy" Y/n said. "No problem" she nudges her "just...use protections" she winks and laughs Y/n sighs "I'll call you when I'm on my way home" she turns to Grace "Alright princess, say goodbye to Bucky, aunt Lucy will stay with you" she smiles at her baby "Bucket I'll miss you" the little girl pouts "Oh no, come give me a hug" Bucky melts in the little arms "I'll see you next week, little one" he kisses her little head "Bye Mommy" Grace waves at Y/n trough Lucy's car window.

Y/n returns in the cafè and sits back with Bucky. "Uhg, how can you be so calm without her" he says. She arches a brow at him, asking an explanation . "She's gone for 5 minutes and I can only think about how bad I want a little hug from her...God I sound so creepy" he mumbles. "Oh, I'm just pretending to be calm" she nervously laughs "it's been almost 5 years but I can't stand being far from her for too long. Please distract me from my cute daughter" they both bursts into laughs. "It's been a lot since I've laughed like this" he looks sad now "I feel like back in the 30s once again" he sadly scoffs. Y/n puts a hand on his left shoulder. "Do you miss him?" She asks. "Like fresh air. I just don't understand why he did that" he shakes his head. "Do you mean why he sacrificed for us?" She giggles "I mean, it's kinda obvious why..." she adds furrowing her brows. "Is that what you know?" He's shocked "you think he sacrificed? Oh wow" he laughs sarcastically "I've seen it on the news...he died with Ironman, didn't he?" She asks. Bucky can't hold himself by facepalming. "God no...this must remain between us, understood?" Y/n nods. "Uhm, first of all, Steve lived through Thanos okay? After Stark's funeral he had to do one last mission in the past, yeah we can time travel, I think... by the way, before this mission he told me that he wasn't coming back, that I should have moved on quickly and that Sam and the others would be with me if I needed. He...he completed the mission and after that, he went in the 40s and lived his life with Peggy Carter...they were a thing at that time and he never stopped loving her. Steve's still alive, he's really old but alive. I know Sam visits him once a week but...I can't. I feel like he abandoned me...he knew where HYDRA kept me but he did nothing to save me" finally, he lets out everything and cries all his emotions. Y/n embraces him, protecting him from something they didn't know "I'm sorry...I think I can understand what do you mean, sort of" she says "How?" He asks "Has your best friend left you after a century of friendship?" He adds laughing tauntingly.  "No, but I know how it feels being abandoned" she leaves a shaky breath. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asks wiping his tears. Y/n nods. "In 2018, before the Thanos things, I was happily married, I was nailing it with work, everything was just perfect. My husband, ex-husband's name is Jacob. I still love him with all my heart even if he doesn't anymore. At that time we were trying to have a baby, we wanted a big family with lots of kids so here comes Grace. The day I found out I was pregnant, you were in Wakanda, fighting for us. I didn't have the time to tell me about the baby. I was destroyed by his death and had a little pregnancy scare because of the stress. But everything else went well during the pregnancy and Grace was born healthy and even bigger than the average. During the pregnancy and labor, it was only me and Lucy, she's been my anchor many times. I had bad baby blues and I was diagnosed with post-partum depression and it didn't help with the special needs that had Grace. It was probably the worst time of my life. I eventually got through it and moved on, I even dated once when Grace was almost three" she laughed" The final punch arrived when you guys saved the universe and Jacob came back. I was the happiest person alive and Grace wanted to meet her dad so much. He wasn't that happy tho. When he saw Grace he was, of course, confused but he didn't believe she was his. He left us and didn't come back since. I...I didn't take well that too and to be honest, when we've met, it was the first time I went out in weeks. It's been a rough time lately" she sighs "I don't even know how I wake up every day now...I have the fear that Grace is growing more without me than with me, and this is fucking scary. I should be her reference point, I'm her mother for Christ's sake! All I can do is pitying myself, crying and staying alone! And now that I've met you, I feel like I don't deserve to feel bad, others suffer more than me." She covers her face putting it on the table in front of them "I didn't want to cry today but it's harder than I thought" she huffs and cries. Bucky gently kisses her head while soothing her sobs with a hand in the back before becoming a wiping mess himself.

"It felt good today, talking with you, you know?" He says outside her house. He accompanied her home after they recover from the public crying session. "Me too, we should talk more often" she giggles. "Are you free next week?" He asks. She feels heat rising up her face and a knot in the stomach. "Uhm yeah, I think I am" They stare at each other for a while. "I think I might head in" she breaks the silence "Oh yeah of course. Thanks again Y/n" he leans to hug her "Thank you Bucket" she highlights his name in his arms He laughs "you should teach that baby how to say my name" they pull off the embrace. "Send me a text when you're home" she goes to the front door "Ok! Have a nice rest of the day doll" he says before leaving "Thanks, you too" she enters the house.

"Mommy! You're back" Grace jumps in her arms. "Where is aunt Lucy?" Y/n asks her daughter "She's in the kitchen. It's lunchtime!" The baby says happily.  Y/n picks up her baby girl and goes to the kitchen. "Hey Lucy, I'm back" she greets her friend "Hey mama, how was your date?" Lucy smirks at her friend "It was not a date, come on" Y/n laughs. "Mommy, what's a date?" Grace asks. "It's when two people hang out, they go to the restaurant, the cinema or the park sometimes" she answers "Like us when we play at the park?" The girl asks again "Grace, baby, a date is between two people that like each other okay? It's special and you should not date every boy or girl that asks you okay?" Lucy explained "So Mommy and Bucket are special?" She asks "No, Bucky and I are not special because it wasn't a date!" Y/n is almost annoyed. "I want to be special to Bucket! I like him" Grace shouts giggling You all laugh when your phone buzzes, you take it out. When you read the name on it your smile fades away. Lucy notices it. "What happened?" The friend questions "I need to pick this up, it's Jacob" Y/n sits Grace on the counter and goes to her room.

"Hello?" "Hey, um, it's me. It's Jacob" he responds. "What do you want?" She says harshly. "I think I've made a mistake. I talked to some people and...Christ, I was confused, I still am...but I believe you, and I want to be in our daughter's life" As he says that you receive a message, probably from Bucky. "I can't suffer anymore, and I don't want to let Grace suffer too...I don't know if I can do this" she breathes shakily "Please, I still love you, but I understand if in the meantime you found someone else, I just wanna do the right thing for her" he pleads while a sob escapes her mouth. "Let me think about it okay?" She sniffles "I'll let you know when I'm ready" she continues "Fine... You don't have to answer this...but today I saw you with a guy...is he...Uhm are you together?" He asks "It's not your business, Jacob" she is angry now. "He's dangerous, babe, he's the Winter Soldier" he says preoccupied "And you're an asshole, Bucky is not my boyfriend, and even if he was, or will ever be, it's none. of. your. goddamn. business!" Y/n hangs up and throws the phone on the bed, forgetting the message.

Taglist still open:

@capandbuckylvr​ @queen-of-elves @dark-night-sky-99 @chubby-dumplin @archangelslollipop

[sweetdeathwrites]

Hurt

Donnie Darko/Reader

Word Count: 1,940

Warnings: angst, discussion of death, possible suicide mention, confessions... just Donnie Darko

Summary: 

I hurt myself today 

Wherein, you and Donnie contemplate death...

to see if I still feel

... and experience the side effects of living.

I focus on the pain / the only thing that’s real

A/N: !! ok i know I promised Mystery fic and it is IN THE WORKS but I needed more Jake Gyllenhaal so i watched Donnie Darko for the first time and,... dare i say, I fell in LOVE. he’s EXACTLY my terrible, awful, fucked up type, and young JG is so cute!... uhg

this is a loose character exploration / vague vent fic / exploration of death / me wanting to hang with Donnie Darko – the beginning was inspired by NIN’s Hurt but it got away from me and settled into something kinder at the end. also i wanna....... kiss that dumb gorgeous face... anyway enjoy and please leave a comment!

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

“Donnie? Do you ever think of what it would be like to be dead?”

Donnie raises his eyes over the edge of his book.

“All the time.”

You pick at your nails and let your head fall slowly over his legs. “Me too.”

Donnie goes back to his book. He tries to. But the way your rest over his lap, he can see how deep the curve of your spine is, how your ass is propped up right next to him, how you lay, face down and tangled in his legs... You’re distracting. You’re distracting him.

Misery can wait.

“Did you want to talk about it?” He asks, dog-earring his page and setting it aside. “Or were you just thinking out loud?”

You hum and sigh rolling over on your back. Donnie knows you’re uncomfortable because the way your elbows dig into his thighs is sore for him, and he doesn’t want to think about the damage his knees are doing to your back. But you don’t move. Instead, you close your eyes.

Peaceful, but painful, Donnie thinks. Sums you up very nicely.

“I think,” you drawl, finally arching up and off him to face him. His hand moves to rest casually on your thigh, but he put a conscious effort to make it seem so. To make it natural. “That death is the coziest, comfiest little hole I could ever crawl in.”

Donnie’s face scrunches up. “That sounds like it sucks.”

Now, it’s your turn to be disgruntled. “Why? It’s cool.”

Donnie leans in, hands coming to interlace themselves under his chin. He misses how you follow his movement. “Because,” he says, “That would be so lonely.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t,” you sit up fully. Your leg draw in– and you and Donnie Darko are now totally separate people, not tangled, not touching. Not connected. “I also didn’t say you had to be alone. You can have family around you, right? But wouldn’t that be terrible?”

Donnie doesn’t say anything, watching you try to translate your feelings into language. Into something he could understand. And that’s all he really wants– to be understood. To be understood by you. For you to let him understand you in return.

“Well, it’s just– everything goes away in the end. I could’ve been a saint, gave away all my shit, and been just the sweetest little fucker in the whole wide world, but what would that get me? Or, I could be a greedy little fuck and nothing would ever happen to me, nothing that really lasts. Nothing that really matters. Who’s gonna remember that in a hundred years? I’m still gonna be in a pine box, being the combo with fries and a drink for a bunch of worms,” you explain, picking at your nails faster now. Sliding your nails into the opposing nail bed, cleaning it, scratching it, hurting it. “I’m not Caesar. I’m not Confucius. I’m just me.”

Donnie swallows and the walls of his bedroom seem to breathe and shiver around him.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Shimmering, tightening, strangling wallpaper.

“It’s just pointless,” you ignore him, “to worry about anything at all. Alone, not alone, what’s the difference. We all go together when we go, you know? At least, it all ends the same...  Everything moves so fast and everyone wants so many stupid, impossible things, and death, it…  it just seems so peaceful. Quiet.” Your breath hitches. “Dark.”

Donnie wants to lean in. Wants to touch you. There’s an air around you that pushes him away, and it’s funny; he knows everything about you, every part of you, and still you push him away. You hurt yourself like this a lot.

Donnie touches you.

He touches your forearm, moving to his knees to be closer to you.

“I don’t think that’s true,” he says and slowly dances his fingers along your arm. “I don’t think that’s true at all.”

There’s a kind of foxfire in your eyes that burns bright and hateful when he says that. Burns because he dare disagree with you, the Donnie you trusted dares to take away that bit of serenity you had. Before you can pull away, Donnie continues, tries to open the air and make the walls fall away.

“I think it matters to have people around you. My therapist–” Donnie says, laughing a little because since when did he give out her advice? “My therapist, she says that what’s important is the relationships we have. The feelings we experience. What other people make us feel, and what we make them feel. That we die alone but we touch the lives of those around us. That’s what keeps us from being by ourselves, at the core of it all… I don’t want to be alone, and I don’t think you want to be alone either.”

“It doesn’t matter–”

“But it does. If you di– if something happened to you, I’d miss you.” Donnie says quietly. His fingers have travelled over the backs of your hands, and he makes a choice. Donnie carefully pushes his fingers to your hand, threads through the spaces where your fingers aren’t. He holds you warm, firm, and just a little scared.

“I wouldn’t be here in a hundred years. No one would write about me, either. But I’d think of you. I’d think of you every day.”

His parents have gone to sleep. His sisters are in their own rooms, dreaming away of all the fun and action that girls dream. The house is quiet and the neighborhood is still except for the occasional dog whine and the silken rustle of the wind through trees. Donnie can hear his heartbeat and he wonders if you can hear it too.

He kind of wants you to. If you hear it, maybe you could understand him a little better. He’s afraid, right now. He’s afraid but he’s excited. He wants you to know that, too.

You speak finally, small as a mouse and hand limp under his. “You’d think about me?”

“I think about you now,” he admits. “I don’t think that would change.”

“Oh,” you say, and nothing else.

Donnie is about to pull away from you. Of course he would fuck this up. You matter too much.

“I think about you, too.”

“You do?”

“Yeah,” you say.

“Why?”

You laugh and it’s bitter. “How should I know? I just think about you.”

“Well,” Donnie says, moving closer on his bed to you, pushing Misery out of the way. “I know why I think about you.”

“Do tell,” you say with a slight purr, trying to gain control over the conversation. Donnie knows control is important to you. That you need it. He takes a deep breath, and resigns to the thought that you would just have to let go of control long enough for him to fuck up your friendship beyond repair.

“I think about you a lot. And remember what I said about my therapist, about making people feel a certain way around you? Well,” Donnie clears his throat and tries to make this the least embarrassing way possible. “You make me feel good. I think about that, when I think about you.”

Your eyes widen and he feels your hand come to life under him, not exactly holding him back, but brushing against him.

“I like you,” Donnie says.

He didn’t lie about that. He also didn’t lie about how you make him feel good– but he doesn’t want to delve into the implications of that right now. He meant your friendship and care for him meant a lot– not that you give him physical pleasure… but that’s not something he would honestly be able to deny. He’s attracted to you. He’s thought about you, while he lies in bed with nothing to do and a frustration to kill.

“I like you a lot.”

You tense up.

Then let yourself have a moment of sweetness. Just one moment where you don’t punish yourself.

The walls open up. 

You turn Donnie’s palm over and squeeze, bringing it into your lap. Then, you lean in and kiss him.

Your lips slide over his, and the kiss itself is dry and unsure. As soon as you kiss him, Donnie reciprocates with an immediate passion, bringing his free hand up to cup the back of your head and press you closer to him.

Then, the kiss turns into something else. You don’t realize your eyes are closed until they bug open when Donnie pulls you up into him, nearly into his lap. You let loose a surprised moan before melting back into the kiss, and he groans loud and filthy at that. Your hands untangle from his to cling to his chest but the movement sends you off balance– the two of you careen into his pillows, and he rolls on top of you before the collapse.

For some reason, the entire situation is absurd. It feels funny, sticky like a honey that won’t leave your fingers; you feel dizzy and lightheaded from all the impossible feelings Donnie’s given you.

“Fuck,” Donnie laughs, “I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“I like you a lot too, Donnie,” you throw your head back and bubbles of laughter spill from your chest, “I really like you, too.”

“So,” Donnie leans over you and his breath warms your lips, “what does this mean?”

Are we going together? He wants to ask, but he can’t. You have control now. It’s important to you. You’re important to him.

“Hmm,” you hum. You arch up to kiss him again and he obliges, pressing into you with warmth and heat. His lips move smoothly over yours, a suck here, a touch of teeth there– you’re delighted to find he’s such a good kisser. You wonder if he’s had much practice.

Donnie’s hand finds your waist and the thought crosses his mind that it looks beautiful on you. He does. Framing the picture of you with himself, a burst of fondness presses through the teenage lovesick haze at the forefront of his mind. He leans down closer, his forearm above your head bent and fingers tangling with your hair, guiding the kiss in ways that squeeze pretty little sounds out of you. Sounds that fill him with pride and desire to make you make more of them.

Your hands are crossed around his back, tracing sweetness over his shoulder blades, when the wet and smooth of his tongue slides through the seam of your lips and you gasp. It pulls you away from the kiss, smiling. Donnie doesn’t pull away. Instead, he follows you down into the pillows and watches how you smile, the light that fills your face. He presses a sneaky kiss or two to the corner of your lips and jaw.

His hair hangs softly over his eyes and you run your hands through it, brushing it up and away to see his face. His blue eyes are frosted over but he looks at you with such warmth and softness; if he looked at you this way, just moments before… Without a declaration, without a kiss, without him lowering his defences so you could lower yours– the softness in his eyes would have killed you.

Before, you would have pushed him away. Iced him out and started the whole, self-punishing dance all over again.

Now, you let yourself hold his face. He turns his head to kiss your palm, but his gaze doesn’t leave you for a second. You sigh with a peace you thought you’d never feel.

“I think this means,” you kiss him once more, “We don’t have to be alone.”

[bookishofalder]

Pretty Girl - Epilogue

Summary: Happily ever after...

Warnings: Language, smut, fluff.  WC-3,860

A/N: Well, this was tough to write! I’ve been thinking so much about Pretty Girl and Flip these past few months that I couldn’t decide the best way to end this! Uhg, the emotions I have. Thank you for enjoying this story, I love you all! 

“Can I ask you a question, Flip?”

Flip glanced up from his paperwork to find (Y/N) coming toward him. She pulled an empty seat up next to his desk and took a seat, smiling. She had a couple of the oatmeal cookies she’d baked that morning and passed one to Flip, who took it gratefully. The bullpen was fairly quiet as it was late afternoon, and many of the detectives had either left for the day or were out on an assignment.

“Of course, darling.”

He watched as she crossed her legs, considering her words. She looked especially beautiful with her hair styled differently; he’d noticed she wore it down more often lately. He’d made one comment about liking her long hair and this was the result, it seemed. He wasn’t complaining, though he did find her distracting every time he saw her.

“I was thinking about that morning you showed up at my place and said you wanted to start driving me to work, remember?” He grinned in response, sliding his chair a little closer to hers, their knees touching.

“How could I forget?” Brushing his hand over her thigh, he winked down at her.

With a small laugh, she hit his hand away, “Come now, detective, we’re professionals,” She mock whispered, her eyes bright with laughter. “I was just wondering, what made you want to? I mean, I know you liked me, but you were determined to make it a routine, I could tell. Why?” (Y/N) tilted her head curiously as Flip thought over the question.

It wasn’t hard to remember the deeper reasoning he had gone through overnight when he'd made the decision.

He wanted to be the one to take care of her.

“I wanted,” He paused, glancing around at the now empty room, “You were always running around, taking care of everyone and smiling through it all, no matter what. Of course, I wanted to spend more time with you, outside of the office, and it was a good excuse. But moreover, it was the best way I could think to help you, make sure you were alright.” He shrugged, hoping his explanation made sense.

(Y/N) was giving him her best smile. She hopped to her feet, Flip straightened in his seat and welcomed her into his arms as she stepped between his legs. “Oh detective, you know I love you?” She sighed, hugging his head into her chest, her fingers carding through his hair gently.

Flip knew, but it was always so good to hear her say it.

+

Flip was hurrying around the CSPD’s large conference room, ensuring that all decorations, gifts and food looked perfect, even though he had no eye for this sort of thing whatsoever. He was feeling warm in his plaid shirt, so he quickly walked to the window and opened it to allow a breeze in. He was glad it was a sunny day, the light from outside brightening to wood-panelled room considerably, and casting a pleasant autumn glow within.  

Donna was arranging the cupcakes carefully, a smile on her face as she hummed and tweaked the position of one cupcake, though Flip didn’t see the difference it made. Which, he supposed, was exactly why he asked for her help in the first place. Ron was finishing moving the chairs to positions along the wall, and the room was beginning to fill with the rest of their colleagues, who were thankfully arriving on time and chatting amicably with one another, occasionally greeting Flip.

(Y/N) was going to arrive with Jimmy in about ten more minutes. His partner had graciously offered to pick her up due to Flip being required to come in early for an important meeting. Or at least, that was the story they told her, and she seemed to believe it. Really, he’d been working tirelessly with Ron and Donna to get the surprise party set up.

Glancing around the room one last time, Flip nodded to himself that everything looked perfect, stomping toward the door and turning to face the room. “Alright, everyone, stay here and stay quiet,” He called out as everyone fell silent, “Ron is on door duty here, so he’ll let you know when we’re coming back down the hall.” With that, he turned the lights off and exited the conference room, closing the door behind him.

His stomach was in twisted, anxious knots, but he was excited as well. When, a few weeks ago, (Y/N) had told Flip during one of their late-night baths that she couldn’t believe it had been nearly a year since she’d started at the station, he had made a plan. With the help of Donna, Ron and Jimmy, they were throwing her a surprise party in honour of the anniversary. At least, that was the story he’d told his friends.  

Sensing his nerves, Ron clapped Flip on the shoulder, “She’s going to love it, brother.”

With a curt nod and a brief smile at his friend, Flip made his way to the front desk to wait for Jimmy and (Y/N) to arrive. He was pleased to find the lobby quiet.

As he walked, he thought over the last year of his life and how much had changed. He remembered arriving at work that first day back, meeting her for the first time and making a fool of himself. Nearly knocking her onto her ass in his rush to apologize to her, wanting to fix her first impression of him. He’d never been affected by another person so wholly and suddenly before, as though she had a pull over him from the moment their eyes first connected.

He thought of the day that he slammed that rude man onto the counter in front of her. How he’d gone home that day and had to hurriedly relieve the pressure that had been building within over the weeks, as their friendship grew. The weeks of driving her to and from work in the torturously small cab of his truck as her scent seemed to spiral around him, the weeks of small touches, coy smiles, easy, flowing conversation. The guilt he'd felt after hitting that breaking point, and the realization throughout the following sleepless night. That he loved her, entirely and irrevocably.

That had been terrifying. Exhilarating.

He was pretty sure he’d go to his grave being able to remember every single detail of their first kiss.

That stormy night that she’d called him to help her, and he’d driven to her house so quickly he hadn’t had time to fully consider what could happen between them. The walls broke down so low in her dark, cold house, he didn't consider what it could lead to. And he was glad, grateful every day he hadn’t been sleeping well and her call had come in the middle of the night-it allowed his overthinking brain to simply fail him; his heart winning out. The moment they came together felt a lifetime in the making, as though every single action and moment in his entire life was meant to lead him into her arms, tangled together on the floor of her living room as they kept warm by the fire. It had been beautiful, perfection.

And now, they’d been living together for several months, and life was so, so good. They fell into an easy routine instantly once Flip had moved in, the days blending in a happy haze of domesticity. He felt whole for the first time in his life.

Flip had finally convinced her to take lessons with him at the gun range, even. Though he was inwardly regretting that because he’d discovered she was a better shot than him. Several of their colleagues had been at the range the day she proved that and quickly spread the word at work that the secretary had a better score than even the Sarge. When they gave her the nickname ‘Ace’, he had watched her dazzling smile light up the room and decided he was just fine with being second to her. And a little proud of his girl, as well.  

Flip perked up as (Y/N) and Jimmy came into his view, making their way to the front door. He stood straight, grinning as her eyes found his and a smile broke across her beautiful face. “Morning, pretty girl.” He said, swooping down and pecking her on the cheek as she approached, before passing her a coffee and her notepad.

“You know, Flip, Jimmy is much more talkative than you in the morning, I think I’d be alright with him giving me a ride every day.” She smirked at Flip, thanking him for the coffee and taking a sip, appearing completely at ease and unsuspecting. He hoped.

His eyes found Jimmy’s. The bastard was grinning. “You’ve been telling her embarrassing stories about me?”

Jimmy nodded, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Of course.”

“You told her about the donut shop?”

“Naturally.”

With a groan, Flip wiped his hand down his face, (Y/N) giggling away at his embarrassment. “I’ll tell you my version, which is probably more accurate than Jimmy’s, after this meeting, darling.”

He gestured toward the conference room and they fell in step with him, Jimmy casually hanging back slightly. As they walked, Flip realized that she was wearing his favourite blue dress, the one she wore the first time he’d met her. She didn’t wear it as often nowadays, but clearly felt it made sense for the occasion, even though Flip technically wasn’t there on her first day of work.

Ron crossed the hall ahead and nodded to them, “Morning!” He cheered, before stepping into the room, no doubt signalling everyone inside to prepare. As they came to the door, Flip did two things; first, he grabbed her coffee out of her hands, wanting to avoid her sloshing it all over her outfit, and second he hit the lights on.

As everyone came into view, the room erupted, “SURPRISE!” Cheering and noisemakers paired with the decorations and the crowded room had (Y/N)‘s hands shooting to her face as she gasped in surprise. Flip beamed down at her, urging her further into the room.

“Oh!” When her hands lowered, Flip was delighted to see her bright smile, her eyes glistening slightly. Before she could look to him, she was swept into hug after hug, everyone wanting their turn to congratulate her on the anniversary and proclaim Flip as the organizer of the festivities. As she was moved around from each person, Flip stayed close. His hand pressed to her lower back both as a comfort to her, and a way to distract himself.

The Chief called for silence after a short while, standing next to the table that held all the food. Everyone turned to look at him expectantly. (Y/N) quickly stepped into Flip’s side, an arm snaking around his waist and squeezing him in a silent thank you as she grinned up at him. The knots in his stomach tightened, but he returned her smile with his own, hoping she couldn’t sense his unease at the moment.

“Thank you, everyone, for making it here today to help us celebrate (Y/N)‘s first year anniversary with us!” The Chief called, pausing for brief applause before continuing, “I don’t need to say it, but I’m going to anyway-(Y/N), you make this place a hell of a lot better to work in. You brought poor Donna’s blood pressure down,” Everyone laughed as Donna gave two thumbs up in confirmation, “You’ve organized this place and made it feel warm for not only the public but for each of us. You’re hard work and dedication have been mentioned to me time and time again. By colleagues, members of the public, and even the council! And, of course, you made us all put on a few extra pounds with your impeccable baking. Although we did have to outsource for today’s celebration, we do hope you’ll forgive us!”

As everyone clapped and cheered, Flip glanced down at (Y/N) and gave her a guilty grin, knowing full well she was going to confess to everyone. Giggling, she pointed at the beautifully decorated cupcakes behind the Chief, “No need to worry, Chief, I actually baked those.”

Ron looked around at her in surprise as everyone watched, “What? You baked fifty cupcakes? For your own surprise party?”

She shrugged, “Flip said that the Sarge asked for me to bake them, for a big meeting with the Mayor and council that I’m guessing isn’t happening. I didn’t question it.”

Ron turned to Flip, voicing the question on everyone’s minds, “Why did you make her bake-?”

Flip roared with laughter, “Are you kidding? This whole party would have been a waste if (Y/N) came in here and found out we got the desserts from anyone other than her,” Flip glanced down at (Y/N) to find her nodding heartily in agreement, “I think she had more fun baking last night than she will eating them today.” Again, she was bobbing her head, her cute grin widening.

At that, everyone burst into laughter, applauding (Y/N) for the hard work. With the knowledge that the desserts had been baked by their talented secretary, they all queued up and Donna passed them out. When everyone had either a drink or treat in hand and they refocused on (Y/N), she smiled shyly around, her hands still empty as Flip had asked Donna not to serve her until after he’d made his speech.

“Listen, thank you all so much. I love working here with all of you and I truly couldn’t be more grateful that you all took time out of your days to celebrate here with me,” She looked up at Flip, her eyes warm and happy, “And who knew this man was such a romantic, planning out a whole surprise party for me and giving me a night of busy baking! How lucky am I?”

Though Flip was sure everyone had laughed, his ears had started ringing the moment she had finished speaking and he couldn’t hear properly. His throat was thick, dry and he was sure he was sweating. Sensing the time had arrived, Flip glued his eyes to hers and swallowed.

(Y/N) followed Flip’s movements as he took a step away from her, his hand moving to his pocket while he slowly lowered himself down on one knee. Her eyes snapped up to Flip’s, mouth falling open as he pulled out the ring from his back pocket. The room went silent around them, so silent he could hear his heart beating furiously in his chest.

“Pretty girl,” His voice was low, because even though everyone would hear, the words were just for her, “You and I, we took our time at the start. But I’d never deny having loved you since that first time we met, and every day I’ve loved you more and more,” He held the ring a little higher, though her gaze-now was so intense he could almost hear her thoughts-never left his, “Today isn’t just about celebrating you working here. It’s about celebrating you and how lucky we all are, how fucking lucky I am to know you, to get to love you and have you love me back. I want to marry you and spend every day of the rest of our lives as your husband if you’ll have me.”

Silence. It stretched for a beat, and Flip didn’t know what exactly to expect, but a sense of calm came over him because he knew the look she was giving him; he could hear all the words she wouldn’t say out loud in front of their friends and colleagues, could see her answer on her face as though it were written in bold red pen. The silence was thick because no one else understood her the way Flip did. She was suddenly in his arms, tears streaming down her face as she cried out, “Of course I’ll marry you, detective!” And that silence lifted around them as everyone watching let out a breath.

But Flip hadn’t even needed to hear her say it. He already knew.

+

“Mrs. Zimmerman.”

(Y/N)’s eyes opened and met Flip’s as he stood over her. She was relaxing in the bath, the bubbles still fresh, covering his view of her curves. He’d worked a double that day and would have, really should have, bet that she would be waiting for him in there. Bathing together was one of their favourite ways to end the days.  

“You know, we’re engaged, detective. I don’t think you can call me that yet.” She replied smoothly, sitting up and bracing her elbows on the edge of the tub, smiling up at him. Flip dropped down to his knees and captured her lips with his in a brief kiss.

“Mrs. Zimmerman, pretty girl, (Y/N),” He punctuated each name with a kiss, and she giggled in response. “I’ll call you whatever you want if you let me join you.” He growled, and she giggled in response. Scooting forward to allow him room to sit, her eyes watched him as he stripped and climbed in behind her.

They lay together in the bath for a while in comfortable silence. (Y/N) traced lazy patterns along his upper leg, her head lolling against his chest. When Flip’s mind began to wander to more intimate thoughts, the evidence pressed into (Y/N)’s back and captured her attention.  

“Detective,” She murmured, sitting forward and turning in the water so that she could straddle Flip’s lap. He helped her, huffing out a breath when she settled down and his erection pressed between them. “I’ve been thinking about the wedding, and I agree with you. A backyard wedding next May, it sounds perfect.” She kissed along his jaw, her hands on his chest, which was rising and falling quickly in anticipation.

“Darling, you sure?” He cupped her face in his large hands and pulled back somewhat to look her in the eyes. She smiled, nodded in response, and Flip straightened in excitement. “Does this mean you want to go ahead with the offer on the Lower Gold Camp Road house?”

“I may have already called Edmund back and gave him the go-ahead.” (Y/N) replied, her smile brightening as Flip let out a whoop. “He hasn’t called back yet, not sure if the Riley’s accepted the offer.”

Overwhelmed, Flip gathered her in his arms and pressed his lips to hers, “They loved the cookies you brought, there’s no way they could say no.” He reassured her, feeling confident that the old Riley couple had adored them and would accept their offer. The house had been a lucky find, as it was right next to Bear Creek Regional Park in Old Colorado City. It had a huge back yard, expansive kitchen and the master bath had a giant stand-alone bathtub that could fit them just as well as the one they were currently soaking in.  

(Y/N) reached down between their bodies, her hand gripping Flip’s erection, pulling a thick moan from his throat. “Probably won’t hurt to celebrate early, in that case, right?” And before he could respond, she raised herself over him and slowly sunk down, taking his length inch by inch as they both groaned. Flip’s eyes rolled back.

“Fuck,” He breathed, as her tight warmth clenched around him, so familiar and blissful. His hands dropped to her hips, where he gripped hard enough to leave bruises and helped lift and drop (Y/N) onto him. Their sounds; moans and wet slaps and curses echoed around the tiled bathroom as she bounced eagerly. Flip slid one hand up her back, pressing her body closer so that he could lean down and capture a pointed bud in his mouth, licking and sucking to pull more whines, more sighs of his name from her lips. “That’s it, pretty girl, bounce on my cock, you take me so fucking well sweetheart.” Her moans increased, the pleasure building quickly for them both as they moved together.

They came at the same time, riding over the crest of pleasure as they clung to one another in the bathtub and water sloshed over the sides, soaking the floor. It took a few minutes to come down from the high, (Y/N) collapsed onto Flip’s chest with her legs bent somewhat awkwardly on either side of his thick thighs. They relaxed, working to catch their breath before moving.

Part of Flip could have happily topped up the water in the tub and remained soaking for another hour, but the shrill sound of the phone ringing pulled them both back to reality before he could suggest it. (Y/N) hopped up on shaky legs to race into the bedroom and answer the call.

Her recovery after sex always reminded him of their age gap; there was no way he’d have gotten up that quickly after such a mind-blowing orgasm. He chuckled to himself, pulling the plug to let out the water, the sound of it draining loud enough to block him from hearing who might be on the phone. He quickly dried himself off and grabbed (Y/N) a towel before walking into the bedroom and catching her gaze, his head tilted curiously.

Her eyes were bright, cheeks flushed, and distractingly her body glistened with water. She thanked whoever was on the line as he draped her towel around her shoulders, and then she set the phone back down. “It was Edmund.” Her voice was low, even. Unreadable.

Flip stepped back, “And?” His eyes examined her face, excitement bubbling within.

“And,” Her grin gave her away, but Flip let her have the moment, “They accepted our offer!”

With a roar of joy, Flip lifted (Y/N) into his arms and spun them around. She laughed loudly, her hands gripping his shoulders. Her towel fell, forgotten on the floor as they celebrated the news of the success of buying their first home together.

Flip laid (Y/N) down on their bed and climbed over her, his hands tracing along every inch of her body. He kissed and licked every part of her until she was writhing beneath him with need. And as their bodies came together, he thought of how this beautiful woman had come into his life. How she had altered it so completely. As he moved, drawing out the best of her sounds, he remembered their first time together and he was in awe that it still felt just as amazing, just as perfect and all-encompassing and right.

He’d never thought he deserved to be so happy, that he could make another person feel the same way about him. And yet as he made love to (Y/N) again, in celebration of the home they would get married, have children and grow old together in, he realized it wasn’t that he deserved her. No, it was about spending every single day together like it was their first and last day on earth, it was about making every moment count that they were lucky enough to have with one another because they were soulmates.  

“Pretty girl,” Flip breathed out her name between their moans and gasps, “I love you.”

“Oh detective, you know I love you too.”

And he did know.

Did you enjoy this chapter? Please consider reblogging or commenting—likes are basically just a bookmark!

Tag list ✨

@tashastrange89 @finn-ray-nal-beads @fizzywoohoo @iamnotthecatladynextdoor @morby @pradaxstyles @10blurredsmoke10 @mermaidxatxheart @paintballkid711

[songbird-wings]

🍓 🥺🥺 but first I get to compliment you: you're amazing. Idk what quarantine and life in general would have been like if I hadn't met you. you always know what to say when I'm feeling down, you have incredible ideas and talent, and I absolutely love talking to you and watching shows with you. you're so kind and you inspire me to be better. I admire you so much and I can't believe I get to be your friend. I can't wait to meet you and travel the world together. I love you Camilla 💙💙💙

Uhg Maddie, why you gotta be so freaking sweet and kind! I love you so much!!! Ok but like honestly I don’t know what I would do without you either. I’m so glad we met, and I’m grateful everyday for you and our friendship! You are always there to listen to me, and to compliment my drawings and writings! You’re a great person to share music with and it’s so fun to swap new songs with each other! I love talking about our futures and what we are going to do and see, you make me believe that life is going to be beautiful! You have such a kind and loving soul, never change Maddie. You are wonderful! :) Love Ya!