#ugly crying on the inside

[sinsmockingbird]

Aisno, you sick fucks- giving Yao a skin finally only to make it FUCKING XU!!! THIS IS EVIL!

Like oh my god, imagine Du Ruo's fucking reaction to seeing her past lover again. Like- that's Xu standing in front of her, everything the complete same... except it isn't Xu because she's dead. This is Yao, a completely different person, and yet she looks like Xu down to the simplest imperfections.

Yes, Du Ruo has been dealing with this since Yao first hatched from that egg, but this new skin puts that on a whole new level. Aisno you are fucking geniuses with angst but fuck you-!

[albeolambda]

they could never make me hate you anxiety

[floofle-universe]

WHY DOES SHE LOOK LIKE THATTT?? 😭 😭

[adm-starblitzsteel-4305]

So, AnxietyGoji. That's all.

[introspectivememories]

I FORGOT I EVEN SENT THAT ASK AND YOUR RESPONSE HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK OHMSYGODDFJDJ

I seriously love your writing so much you always put a heap of emotion into it 😭😭

also adore the idea of TIM being the one who's obsessed with bear and going to such lengths just to keep seeing him, I tend to prefer happy endings so I like to think they work it out after a while but like also the angst is amazing

god the amount of yearning in this au makes me so mmmpfhhhf

god im just so sorry that it took me soo long to reply!!! you sent just as i was taking my break from tumblr and other social media :(((

i remember reading it and thinking to myself "god if i had the timbern brainworms, i could write smth for this" but then recently they've been coming back and i was a church bored out of my mind when i was like "hmmm maybe i should respond?"

and ohhh my god, when i first got it, i immediately thought about how toxic it could get and like, personally, i feel like i can't write complicated characters? if that makes sense? to me, im not very good at writing multi-dimensional characters. which to be fair, i never set out to become like a pulitzer prize winning author. i just do this for fun haha.

and like i knew that my answer to your ask was always gonna be toxic timbern but i didn't know if i could write it? ig??? bc like tim is a good person. he is!!! he just wants bear so badly. and it's past the initial physical attraction now.

he and bear are all grown up. he likes bear's wit and humor, well the wit and humor he gets to hear when bear doesn't know he's around. but bear wont let him in!!!! bear wont open himself up and tim's apologized!!!! he did!!! he doesn't even know what he did and he still apologized!!!!! and it changed nothing. bear doesn't talk to him or look at him or anything. nothing but polite professionalism.

and then one day, he sees bear on his balcony as he's swinging through the streets of gotham. and bear isn't doing anything special, he's just sitting there in sweats and no shirt and the moonlight hits his pecs just right and his shoulders are so broad and-

well he cant be blamed for stopping to take a peek, right? and maybe when he has has time he swings by more and more. just watching for longer and longer, until one day bear catches him. and as they stare at each other from opposite sides of the street, tim thinks this is it. the cold glances and frosty words are going to come back. bear's never gonna just sit on his balcony again. he's lost this too. but then-

oh.

bear sends him a hesitant wave and tim raises a trembling hand to wave back. and bear- well bear's mouth splits into a smile brilliant enough to rival the sun. beautiful like the sunrise. the promise of a new beginning. if he closes his eyes, tim thinks he can feel the sunlight's warm rays on him.

hes' hooked after that. he comes around again and again. one day bear lets him on the balcony. weeks later, bear's hugging him. weeks after that, tim's in bear's lap. and he knows it's not right. that bear thinks he's someone else. that bear doesnt want anything to do with him but how is he supposed to let this go? how is he supposed disentangle himself from bear's arms?

so he lies and he lies and he prays to any and every god he can think of, that he'll get to keep this. plus he's not really lying to bear, he's just... not talking about it! if bear asks, he'll tell him point blank. he swears it. but that's a problem for another day. things are looking up! bear said more than 5 sentences to him the other day and yesterday? he even got a small smile. it'll all work out. he'll be fine.

[jahdenexists]

I'm sorry to anyone who saw me ugly crying in the starlight theater today watching inside out two

[karimatles]

Humanization of Sadness (Inside Out). This sketch was hard, a big step outside of my comfort zone. Blue skin made my brain short circuit the most. Joy was a lot easier. Learned a few things in the process, so the result can be considered positive. I'm really happy to move on to the next one because, to be honest, I grew tired trying to save it from looking very-very bad ( ಠ_ಠ)

[onwardnroyalty]

[ellies-chaos-corner]

Wip Sidlink art! Lyrics are from It's Okay To Cry by SOPHIE! Once I'm done I'll post it on my main ( @elliethecat)

[candyopals]

"i wanna draw joyness. i wanna draw joyxiety"

NO apparently i want to design myself a tattoo that makes me cry while i draw it

[wip]

[dnangelic]

none of his american friends will take him trick or treating ...

[lucyvaleheart]

.

[anxietywasright]

You ever feel like your not friends even with your friends

[strawxbunny]

-

[skayafair]

Theseus' Ship/Swampman, the original and the copy

Wolf 359 brought my attention back to this philosophical problem and I realized I've already answered this for myself, but with another podcast and with very specific circumstances (so I don't mean the whole thought experiment in general).

If the being in front of you looks like person A, talks like person A, remembers everything person A remembered, feels the same - but you know person A is dead and this is a perfect replica of them, is there a difference?

Wolf 359 leads to a "no" - doesn't say so, mind you, but leads nonetheless. With all Lovelace's "I try to be her", with all the double crew when no one could tell a replica from the original, least of all them themselves. Technically, there really is very little difference.

But.

In Syntax (SPOILERS UP UNTIL EPISODE 44!) there is a theory that Cassius died and the one we hear in the beginning of the episodes is a shifter - that's why they don't remember a lot of things. But the personality imprint is there, so how much differencee can it be?

I understood it with clarity when the thought occurred - there's ALL the difference. Because I've got really attached to these characters, and the very possibility that the Cass we knew all along died hurt. Even if their replica could have been "brought back" (it works differently but can be used this way either I guess), the fact would still remain. Cassius would still be dead, their experience would be over, and very painfully and hopelessly so. A copy can be 100% accurate - but the copy didn't die. It's a new, different being entirely, memories or no memories. It's hard for me to articulate why exactly, to ground this in logic, but the feelings say this loud and clear: it's not the same.

The whole personality/"soul" transfer into a new body (let's take this random scenario) is a different thing though. It's the same existence in a different vessel. Even if the memories are lost, it's still the same existence that can change into a new personality, but the "life line" doesn't get interrupted. (Like John Doe in Malevolent had been the King in Yellow until he remembered it and decided he didn't want to anymore, although the "transfer" is very debatable here).

I guess the main difference can be felt from the inside, not outside.

Ok, but what if the OG and the Copy get to live simulteniously and both have all the memories and are exactly the same, like in Wolf 359? This is a very interesting scenario - a very excruciating one, too. I believe it would be the best for them to try and go separate paths - physically, live as far away from each other as possible. Otherwise it's easy to slip into the "evil twin" scenario like in The Sheridan Tapes with the Echo my beloved. If you feel like a certain person or became like them in every aspect, it's only natural to want to live their life, because it's your life, too, isn't it? So much hatred and bitterness and general misery can come out of this if you're denied it. Hello Sync from Tales of the Abyss! he had many other vary valid reasons tho, but this one too

So it's on both the OG and the Clone to decide what they're going to do, and they have to be VERY mature about it if they both want to live. Both will most likely have to give up something, change some other things. It's a cruel scenario, but I believe even it can become a happier one with enough effort and kindness.

[kaleidoscope-blurs]

This episode had me rolling on the floor ugly crying till I got sick. Why do all my favorite shows do this