#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's so TRUE!!!!!!!!

[schnaf]

Not her ratting herself out. Lmao.

Also, I love that as soon as you sent me the ss I knew it was her. Thankfully, you don't need that kind of toxic/psychotic person always putting you down and demanding attention when they can't show even a sliver of compassion or true friendship because they simply don't have it in their heart. Block that bitch.

I thank the universe for you every day, for being my friend for years now. Even if we don't talk every day, I know that you are my safe place, that you care and that you will always be there for me, as I am for you.

Cheers,

for many more years of friendship.

❤️J

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

don't cry because it happened, be glad that it's over i guess 🥴🥴🥴

and UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that's so so so sweet! ♥ and i'm so glad i have you and that i can rely on you ♥ and ugh i'm also very glad that you won't turn on me, trying to make me feel bad all the time, trying to make me feel like our friendship was a business deal and i didn't hold up my part of the agreement no matter what i do.

i'm very very glad that you are my friend ♥

♥♥♥♥♥

[crguang]

Cabernet anon again 👋🏾 🍷

I was rereading your post on when I asked for your thoughts about her and saw your list of your favorite ladies so far. I noticed that you have Adela and Oak Casket (they’re also on my top favorites list too) and I was wondering if you could give us some thoughts or even thirsts about them. Honestly anything you give us great so I have no complaints whether you lean more into one more than the other.

Can I be this emoji 🍷? I definitely be coming back to ask for more ptn stuff so think of me as the ptn girl lol?

HIIII yes you can!! wine emoji for my cabernet anon fits so well, welcome to the circus🙂‍↕️ i have so many thoughts about oak and adela, i’ll try to condense them so this isn’t a lengthy answer.

let’s start with oak!! my attachment to her is very personal and kind of heavy so i won’t say too much but i really resonate with her. she’s experienced death even if it wasn’t in the literal sense and is constantly around the dead since; she’s alive but she’s not. she despises the living for the suffering they cause and forgets that she’s living too. she spends all her time tending to the dead, comforting them, listening to them, making it so that their last regrets are put to rest along with their consciousness. in a weird way, she’s super comforting to me because she understands how ugly living can be. i realize that it’s a sort of twisted line of thinking to believe that death is true salvation but as someone who is scared of it, it makes the whole thing less daunting and in general easier to accept. she had to hold an official funeral for herself to put her past to rest and i felt that so bad😭 i looove how twisted she’s become by being a bridge between the dead and the living world, all she hears are regrets and all she feels is the powerlessness that comes with dying, so she’s obsessed with the idea of experiencing a more “satisfying” death through Chief and that’s so… delicious. and despite how comforting i find her, she’s kinda evil lmfao, she’s the reason for so many conflicts in syndicate from selling information and trafficking goods, and she’s not afraid to use those guns like damn. i always forget about that part because she looks so nice until she whips them out in battle

oak’s design is also one of my personal favorites in the whole game. i’m a sucker for religious themes in darker stories and the priest robes made sexy is insaneee. the cross over her chest, the stole, the gloves ughhh she looks so good. the color green symbolizing immortality when she deals with death all the time because the souls she’s let rest will forever live on with her. her eyes being different color (green and pink, opposites) because she’s at once dead and alive, the only link between these two realms… the black strands in her otherwise ashen hair as if she’s been tainted in some way and carries death with her forever— the cardinal directions on the altar because she’s essentially a guide ohh its so good. plus that ENG voice does a lot of things to meee it’s so soothing and deep, she sounds exactly as she should and it tickles my brain really nicely. paired with her playful yet scary allure it fits her soooo well.

needless to say that oak is insanely gorgeous and i need to feel those hands on my hair while i go down on her and she’s praising my enthusiasm like ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh she has the same effect on me as black swan from HSR where every time i see her i have to stop and stare for a while because i can’t believe how sexy she is. how do her boobs stay in that dress. they have to be so perky for her to not need a bra. need them in my mouth until they glisten as i pull away i want her so bad. i feel like she’s a reallll moaner, her voice gets deep and slurred and raspy mm… i’ll show her pleasure she can only get while alive, trust!

on to my BABYYYYYYY. ADELA. oh my goodness i love her so much it’s incredible. i love love love charming women and she’s the epitome of that!!! my first thought about her was, “omg she’s so charming” and she’s only proven that throughout her event. she’s so cute, so kind, so selfless and holds a genuine desire to help others. she’s not manipulating chief and after they broke her shears, she even looks out for them the whole time. bringing them back to her home, changing them, making breakfast, washing their clothes?!$(!?(!?! she just wants to do some good and escape her own troubles i love and understand her so much. i have an avoidant personality so i will run from my issues, if i could erase my own memories of past suffering i would do that in a heartbeat 😭 i really understand the need to eradicate all traces of your pain and sadness, even if some of it is necessary for growth. the analogy of troubles manifesting as long, long hair until it’s all that she sees is incredibly creative and it makes the audience sympathize with her desire to cut it all off despite it causing others pain. she’s such a soothing soul that people have no issue confiding in her, her presence is reassuring and she’s always so calm… i wanna give her a hug and stay like that for half an hour, she could cure me. her voice!!!! i was not expecting the british accent but it’s so soft and sweet. i could listen to her talk for ages, it’s a shame she never has much to talk about because she forgets everything.

i love the “character wants to help others but only hurts them and themselves” trope and that’s literally her. erasing people’s memories unprompted is insane, especially when they include people who mean a lot to them, but she doesn’t see the wrong in it because in her mind she’s solving all of their worries. it’s really cute but she lacks so much nuance that it affects her as well, she wants a peaceful life yet she cuts off her own memories whenever something goes wrong which causes her to forget about the places she’s lived in and the people in it too. she’s not living any sort of life, she doesn’t know where she’s from and has no friends, she isn’t truly remembered by anybody— she’s an empty shell with a smile on her face. it’s sad how someone who so readily helps others must feel so empty inside. she says she has no worries but that’s because she has nothing she cares about enough to worry over, otherwise she’ll snip snip it off just like she did her memories of Chief. she’s learning to feel her feelings and let them pass tho, i’m proud of her <3

what happened with her mother destroyed me because i relate a lot and would have done exactly what she did in that situation, she believed that she was a burden and failed to understand that she was loved (though that’s her mother’s fault) so she ran. my hearttt.

her design is also one of my favs like look at her!!! her hair is what drew me in first and it’s so fitting considering that it’s her whole thing. it looks so good, i love the colors and the stray strands that give it a messy look, and how it gets longer as she’s controlled by the shears like it has a mind of its own. i have no idea what that contraption is on her chest but the scissors are great, and the ones from her earrings too. the leather straps/harness of her coat are my favorite part they remind me of a (sexy) straight jacket and it ties into the whole “she creates her own constraints” thing about her that i love. all in all adela is sooo pretty, just stunning. blue and black were my favorite colors for over a decade so im really biased towards her color palette hehe.

omg i really love how scary she is with the shears it’s such a harsh contrast with her personality. her ult voice line is lowkey terrifying, no wonder she’s an urban legend; “shhh… i… found… you…” in a quiet, sing-song voice is crazy

since she’s more comforting to me than anything else slow, loving sex would be soooo nice. she feels like a service top (my kindred spirit) and she’d want to “ease your worries” that way once the shears are off limits, so she’d learn your body inside and out to make you feel so so good until you forget all about what had you stressed in the first place. she can’t use her blades but we can always scissor! i’m just like her so i wanna fuck her brains out until she can’t remember anything but the words “yes” and “please” <3 she deserves to be so overstimulated her worrying brain turns to mush. wearing a coat with nothing underneath is a choice but like oak, there’s no way her tits just stay in place unless they’re perky enough which kinda drives me nuts mmhhhhh i wanna suckle them like a pacifier😞

this ended up long anyway im sorry about that hhjhgdd but in my defense they’re my favorite characters…

[zonie-az]

everyone knows before New Mexico and Arizona ch 5: Gov loves paperwork

story summary:

Ari falls for New Mexico.

NM doesn't know what's going on.

everyone else sees it.

Chapter 5 of 7

word count for this ch: 1,170

pairing: New Mexico and Arizona

wattpad AO3

New Mexico knocked on the door. Ari opened up and smiled.

"Newie!" NM couldn't help but smile back. Passing the PJs to Ari who grabs them and throws them on the bed "ready?"

"If you are" Ari nodded

"Yeah, let's get it done before Gov comes with CDC. I don't need CDC trying to give me a look over" NM nodded. They definitely didn't need that. They started walking both kind of thinking about what to say. Neither really had a plan but neither of them where much of planners anyways. They went to the door. NM took Ari's hand, giving it a squeak. Ari smiled. Then NM let go and knocked on the door.

"Come in" they walked in and saw Gov typing at his computer. He looked up. "oh good! Ari you are here finally. I was starting to get worried Ill have to come and find you"

"Nope am here and you can see" he does a little spin "am all good so-"

"Arizona come take a seat, New Mexico you can pull up the other chair as well" Ari flops down on the chair that totally made a loud sound. NM jumps his reflex was to grab Ari before the chair gives out.

"Am good" Ari said looking up at NM. NM nodded, going to grab the other chair. Totally missing Gov looking back and forth at them. Ari swung his legs back and forth as NM pulled over the chair sitting down next to Ari, chairs pretty close together. Ari smiled at Gov and NM looked over it already, crossing his arms.

"Well okay, I think I need to grab some paperwork hold on" they both gave Gov a confused look as he got up going over to his filing cabinet. Opening a few drawers and looking for stuff. "Where is it? I used some with New Jersey and South Carolina a while ago... Where are they?"

Ari and NM looked at each other more confused. They were here to show Gov Ari wasn't bleeding or anything. Why is he pulling out paperwork?

"Got it!" Gov grabbed a folder and came over to the desk. "alright it looks like a lot but with both of you it-"

"Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Ari slinks down in his chair "I don't want to do paperwork"

"Well it will"

"I don't want tooooooo" Ari wined "what you just gave out paperwork to anyone you pull into your office?"

"I agree we didn't come here to do any paperwork or anything, why are you just pulling stuff out?"

"Well you don't have to do it now but I think it be good to start it so we can work on getting your two-room into one and combining all your emergency contacts and stuff together"

NM and Ari blinked

"What???" They both said not at the same time but close enough.

"You two really should combine if you're going to be sleeping together and everything. it is better I know what room and where you will be at in case of a fire or something"

"Wait wait wait"

"We'll be doing what now?"

"Oh no we are not together"

"Oh… OH! No! we not like that!"

Gov looked between them, trying to explain how it is not what he thinks.

"Alright, we just table that for another time then. But I do need it done soon. I need at least know which room you are both sleeping in most nights" Gov closed the folder. "Am putting copied in both your boxes and emailing you reminders"

"Oale please don't those are so annoying"

"I made mine sound like a cricket so I never really notice them"

"I usually just mute them then they come back in a month or so and I mute them again"

"Yeah, which is why the FBI and CIA are supposed to be making sure you can't mute or change them" Gov grabs a sticky note writing something down.

"Great now everyone going to get those notifications for a week and a half," Ari said in Spanish knowing Gov couldn't understand what he was saying.

"Yeah, then-Gov will stop keeping his eye on it. and then we will be able to do whatever to them again" NM answered back in Spanish

"True" Ari nodded glad he and NM could talk freely. He really enjoyed that.

"I don't like you two talking where I can't understand anything"

"Oale find we go but to English. You should really learn more than just English, we technically don't have an official language. You should know more than just one"

"That's IDC job, now. Since you're going to wait on the paperwork. I would like to ask if there is an anniversary date I should mark down. So I can make sure to keep your schedule clear for that date?" Gov asked pulling out his calendar

"Ummm"

"We keep you updated on that one okay Gov" NM said quickly just wanting to be able to get out of there faster

"Oh is it one of those not sure if you want to do the first date or asking out or meeting kind of deal? Ohio and them took forever to figure out what day to use. Okay just let me know when you two figure out what day is your special day" Gov looked over his calendar. "I got a meeting with Loui in 10 minutes so I should probably get ready for that. Unless there anything you two want to go over? Do you two need me to order anything for bedroom stuff and all?"

"Nope!!!" Ari and NM quickly said both starting to blush.

"You sure? Also if you haven't seen I keep the cabin in the hallway stook with-"

"Thank you! But we don't need you to worry about getting us anything!!" NM got up, and Ari quickly did as well, the chair falling over.

"Okay. Just let me know if that changes I have a budget for-"

"Alright bye Gov" Ari run out the door with NM close behind him. Gov sighed and wrote a sticky note to run to check the cabin and stock up on anything that was low.

Ari and NM shit the door and looked at each other, then looked away blushing. Neither knowing what to say or anything. They stood there for what felt like forever.

"Well he doesn't know about you being you know what," NM said not really able to look Ari in the eye yet.

"Yeah which is good'' Ari gave a nervous laugh. Rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh! Ari! binder check!" Ari wines NM looks at Ari. "I know but if am not mistaken you slept in it last night and that's a big no-no"

"But newie. I"

"Ari please for me"

"Fine I'll banish myself to my room all alone," Ari says dramatically

"Oh stop, come to my room, we still got more episodes of that show to watch" NM grabbed Ari and they ran off to NM's room.

[gargoyleunderground]

I don’t want anyone if I can’t have her :( I really don’t. She’s the only person I’ve found whose flaws aren’t dealbreakers.

[tellywoodtrash]

Hey TT! Have you checked out Ekta’s interview with Anupama Chopra? Would love to hear your thoughts on it

Ok this is long enough to deserve an lb.

oh right, i’d forgotten she has a baby now.

‘mentalhood’ with an a-list bollywood actress… hmm… wonder who it’s gonna be? kareena? she’s kinda jobless now, isn’t she?

lol it’s cute how she finds her maternal instincts “a bit confusing” and also threw out a disclaimer that it’s only been 25 days so……..

her candor re: motherhood is refreshing.

lmaoooooooooooooooo she mined mira kapoor’s motherhood whatsapp group for material.

her pronunciation of ‘malleable’ is annoying me.

jfc i just noticed the amt of rings she’s wearing. how does she even move her hands around without one of them flying off and hitting someone in the eye?

oh dang i want my brain mapped.

all they’re gonna find is a fog of anxiety/depression and hindi film song lyrics and b99 gifs tho.

oh, she’s still actively scripting? i thought she’d be more on the business-y side of things now.

kudos to her for giving importance to her mental health and proactively working on it.

obsession with WHOMMMMMMMMMM?????? telllll us.

i need to know who her and kjo’s “One True Love"s are.

huh, i should look into this metabolic booster thing, but ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh working outttttttt.

danggggggg man, her work sounds exhausting. she hustles like srsly bigtime.

on top of that, she sleeps only 5 hours. jfc.

lmao that walk through her house is pretty much like a reverse of tulsi leading us through shantiniketan.

lol all the ppl in the bg trying to stay outta the camera.

anupama awkwardly realising that she’s prolly impeding ekta from all her rituals before leaving the house.

why does her car have a delhi license plate???

30 shows this year and 107 fucking shows in development for alt balaji???????????? jesus christ above.

and that’s the long story short. she knows what makes the audience tick and how they’ll react, and has known for 25 years.... now she’s working almost on autopilot. she’s honed her brain.

lol bentley hai toh kya hua, road pe dhakke toh khaane hi hain.

"the stickiness of television and the start to finish of a film….” yuppppppp.

seems she’s more focused on digital these days than anything else.

her knowing smile when anu asked how many scripts a month.

8 a day! as opposed to i believe, like 20, 25 scripts that the developers at dharma look at IN A MONTH. UGH EKTA, YOUR MIND. HONESTLY. YOU’RE ON A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL.*bows*

5 soaps in development. LORD PLEASE EK TOH DHANG KA HO WHICH I CAN WATCH! PLEASE GOD I’M BEGGING YOU!!!!!

i like her explanation as to why as a company owner, she can’t pull an aamir and just make ONE thing for 2 years. plus her doubt that she’s personally capable of it without getting bored. (“we all SAY a lot of things in life.”)

……… there are 8 naagins????? i… what??????  

is it like 0.5 trp points per naagin or what??? like i’m just……. whut????????/

she’s calmed down a lot i guess.

WHO IS SHE OBSESSED WITH ON A PERSONAL LEVEL????????

ok her not wanting to show misogyny waala thing is bs. behen 25 saal se yehi bech rahi ho aur bol rahi ho i don’t want to encourage it in our society.

ok whatever your personal feelings about feminism are, are they ever gonna show up on the tv soaps tho? i know they will on digital, but more ppl are watching the soaps.

then why don’t you pitch finite shows ekta???? you know you have the power to. it works better in every single way.

is that a secret door bell or one more ritual??

oh guess it was a ritual.

ofc she has a vastu aligned seat.

oh great, #meToo waala question. tbh, i don’t care what a single person who wields power has to say about it coz it’s gonna be PERFORMATIVE BULLSHIT.

can’t say i’m very interested in the ronit/mona part of this, par chalo itna dekh liya hai toh 10 minute aur sahi.

LOL EKTA’S FACE WHEN MONA CALLED TV “STUPID DRAMA”.

lmao ekta being salty over jassi ruining her ratings.

ok it sounds like ekta really arm-twisted mona into doing kavach against her will.

ok what’s so ridiculous about a sardarni learning the hanuman chalisa? that’s what acting is?

ahaaaaaa, all the stories about her (breaking shit) are true.

okaaaaaaaay, very abrupt end. feel like it completely lost momentum once mona and ronit came in. or perhaps just mona, she didn’t have anything interesting to say.

TLDR: Ekta’s brain is a wondrous place, with ridiculous amounts of energy/activity. Like or hate the material that comes out, it’s quite obvious that she has an astute sense of the industry and the audience and it’s no wonder she’s the best in the biz. Hoping at least SOME of the stuff she has in development catches my fancy and I have something to watch, coz tbh I’m dying rn.

[snoopkat14]

What's the hardest part about being non binary/trans?

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh social interactions.

I haven’t been able to make myself look more masculine/androgynous (mostly because I have no body confidence what so ever and I’m scared of judgment) But I have found that since I appear like a cis female people don’t feel like they need to ask for my pronouns? 

But let me explain what I mean by this. I’m always asking for people’s pronouns (cis/non cis), even if I’m sure because I wanna respect them and I don’t know if something has changed. Yet, even with my trans friends, when I ask for their pronouns, they never ask for mine. Which I get, because I do present female on most days, but it’s kinda hard to feel good about myself when I know I can/am only presenting female. 

Maybe it’s because I have some shitty friends or I shouldn’t worry about something like this but even when I come out to people (usually with they/them) my pronouns get taken as a joke and no one (even in my pride group) respects them and it gets hard after awhile. 

Yet, this isn’t true for everyone, this is just my personal struggle 

But I’m probs just a lil bitch so whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[midnightmisadventures]

So much fucking happened today i- 

for starters my bff was talking about how hot oliver is and true that is fair but ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh is this gonna get weird?

[n-arni-a]

6/29 (13:15)

i have a bit of a story.

so last night i went out with a couple of my friends. one of them is my best friend and the other a close friend who I’ve known just as long as my best friend.

we went to the county fair and just had one of the best days i’ve had in so long. that day was, dare I say, perfect.

my close friend, let’s call him Garrett.

i haven’t had any contact with Garrett in about a year due to a bit of a fall out that included his devil of a girlfriend (who he is waaaaay too good for). but things have recently been resolved and everything is all good again.

you ever see someone after a while and just realize how much you miss them ? bc that’s what happened with me. we finally met again and i missed him so freaking much.

and last night, when we talked, i realized just how much we had in common and how he met some of qualities of the type of person im usually attached to. it was so weird bc here is this person who i’ve known for so long and im suddenly considering the fact that i might have feelings for him.

there are a few things that are a bit difficult about this whole sitch :

one - he has a girlfriend of 3 years. let me just say this i’ve known Garrett way longer than miss skank, okay? and when they began this relationship i had absolutely zero feelings for that boy. so the fact that i really fucking hate her has nothing to with my current confused feelings. she got me to hate her all on her own. to be honest when this relationship began, i didn’t think it was going to last. they don’t have anything in common, their personalities don’t match (he’s sweet, kind, and funny and she’s one of the worst people i’ve ever met), and she’s a selfish, ugly gremlin that only cares about herself. but it seems that i was wrong bc look at where we are. they even go to the same college for fucks sake.

two - we’ve been friends for about 7 years. it’s the age old “we’ve been friends for so long and i don’t wanna ruin our friendship.” who would have known this shit is true. god, you really gotta experience things firsthand to really understand all this crap. and even if (hypothetically) we end up in some type of relationship and things don’t go well, what will happen with my best friend ? it’s always been the three of us. i don’t wanna ruin things between them or us. there’s other people involved. is it really worth risking all that ?

three - infatuation. like i said before, i haven’t seen this guy in a year and i really miss him. and it’s no secret that I’ve been feeling a bit lonely lately. all of those feelings combined could just be me mistaking it for some sort of crush. of course, all of this happened last night and we know don’t how I’ll feel in the long run. for all we know this is just a sudden burst of feelings that will go away in a few days. to be quite honest, im not sure how i feel about him right now. it doesn’t feel the same way i usually do when im attracted to someone. like i don’t get nervous/flustered or anything (but it’s probably bc we’re good friends) but i wanna be near him. i wanna talk to him. i wanna hold him. i keep going back and forth in my head bc im not sure i want to feel this way, even though you can’t help how you feel about anyone.

•

•

•

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is all so annoying.