#ugh i do just wanna kill myself and get it over with but its such a fucking hassle man
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my situation is bad but i could make it worse
#oh jesus i was trying to think whether or not my mother knows ive had suicidal thoughts which like lol obviously but no ive never said it to#her face i dont think…my dad knows#im just trying to weigh out on a scale of how likely it would be that she would attempt to put me in a psych hospital#and how likely she would to actually succeed…#shes a weird mix of pro mental health and pro therapy and anti doctors sooooo rlly who fucking knows LOL and shes bipolar.#cause shes cried to me drunk a lot telling me not to kill myself cause i was a strange child but i never actually considered it until#after i left her house#so it would obviously worry her but also we dont live together anymore so ultimately it is up to my father and hes always been pretty passiv#about this stuff like he knows and hes worried but hes never actually gone out of his way i mean not to say he doesnt care cause he does but#like…white man who grew up in iowa and enlisted in the military so…#ugh i do just wanna kill myself and get it over with but its such a fucking hassle man
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I played Skyrim today.
#its a big deal lads#i havent touched it since the fight that led to my break up.... and this is the first time I thought about that night in months#and it stings a bit.... like a healing bruise thats still just a bit purple but nearly gone#its on the Switch tho... I havent touched my PS4... but I dont have it with me so... Idk#what a dull pain... Mostly sad for the girl who got hurt and not the me who has moved on... poor baby#ugh.... I've hurt so many people.... and I've been able to run from them to heal all involved except myself...#I'm so mean to me... And that's why I wear crop tops and sleep naked and eat fish and love my cat and just do things I enjoy...#amd slowly we can begin to heal and be happy#when I start standing up for me more.... Its all over for you bitches!!! Watch out cus Im close!!!#im healing#and#it feels so good#I had no fucking idea that Shavari follows you around Riften and makes dealing with Brand-Shei difficult#i just shoveled Vampire Dust into my face and hoped for the best.... Didnt know that freak ass cat was following me#IVE PLAYED HOW MANY FUCKING HOURS AND NEVER KNEW?!#killed Heimskr didnt get caught but still had the Dark Brotherhood sent after me#havent encountered Nazeem yet.... Intend to kill his ass when he opens his mouth#I. Will. Not. Kill. Partysnax. Havent met him yet tho... Cam you kill Delphine???#i wanna marry Farkas SOOOO BAD... Hes such a cutie! and hes so sweet#skyrim
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“𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁ℯ 𝒹𝒾𝓇𝓉𝓎 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝒸𝒽, 𝒾 𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ 𝓉ℴ 𝒻𝓊𝒸𝓀!”
contains:PURE SMUT<3
summary:tom looked so hot sitting there in his work studio, so as any sensible person would, i took the opportunity to anger him to his breaking point, causing him to teach me a brutal lesson.
WARNINGS:hard-dom!tom, sub!reader, teasing, pet-names, daddy kink, degrading, SLIGHT spit-play, SLIGHT choking, HEAVY dirty talk, slapping, misogyny kink, pinv (on a desk?), VERY rough sex, orgasm denial, reader is just a fucking horny slut :3.
notes:this is a very dirty, filthy, disgusting, pathetic piece of work that i felt i needed to bless you all with, enjoy bbys.
the way his fingers grazed over the keyboard…
the way his half-opened eyes tiredly focused on the screen before him…
the way his leg steadily bounced up and down to a simple rhythm…
i could stand here for hours just drooling over him.
i was currently cleaning up around our shared home, taking long breaks in between to peak into his office to just “check in” or see if he “made any progress”.in reality i was really coming in to stare at him and give him a quick peck, it was killing me not to toss that computer out of the way and make him have me right there.
infact an idea soon popped into my head, why not do just that?
in a frenzy, i quickly finished cleaning up and then changed into my silk white robe, heading into the kitchen to prepare him a sandwich and some lemonade, before stepping back into his chilling cave.
“hallo meine schatz (hello my darling).”he sighed feeling my presence approaching, turning slowly to face me, watching attentively as i set the plate and glass down next to him.
“hii babe, just wanted to bring you a little something-”i replied back with a soft grin, leaning in closer to place a kiss on his cheek, then standing back up straight.
he calmly smiled back before taking the plate into his hands and beginning to dig into the sandwich, i then moved behind him now gently rubbing his shoulders.
“tom are you almost done with whatever your working on?”i asked, feeling him suddenly tense up at my question.
“its not just ‘whatever’ this is my job, its what keeps you being my hausfrau (housewife).”he replied his mouth still full, his tone suddenly annoyed.
“im not just some little house wife-”
“your not some, your MY house wife, its best we keep it that way understood?”tom interrupts, he was deprived and restless, his temper was sure to outburst at any given chance.
“what if i dont wanna do that anymore, waiting for you hand and foot gets boring ya’ know?”i playfully laughed, i was pushing his buttons perfectly.
tom stops dead in his tracks, tossing the plate down onto the ground, harshly standing up from his seat, now towering above me, his eyes enraged and utterly furious.
“you know your fucking place alright?its here obeying me your job is to do just that, do i make myself clear?”he sternly stated, his expression stone cold.
“hmm i dunno, is it really tom?”i innocently replied, swaying back and forth refusing to give him an sort of eye-contact, i was definitely getting a kick out of tempting his temper.
in a not even a second he pushes everything off the desk, then forcefully picks me up and slams me onto his desk, my back hitting the hard-wood, his strong hands ripping my robe open.
“you wanna act fuckin’ stupid huh?!”he shouted down at me, as he speedily pulled his angry cock out of his grey-sweatpants with his left hand, his right hand keeping my legs spread wide open.
i urgently shake my head side to side, needy whimpers leaving my lips as i ache to feel his full 8-inches brutally beating my insides.
“antworte mir dumme hure(answer me stupid whore)!”he spits down at me, his saliva landing upon my cheek.
“ugh-bitte bitte ich werde brav sein, das mmh-verspreche ich(please please ill be good i promise)!”i whined, slightly scooting down to rub my folds in between his tip, my arousal acting as a sticky lubricant.
tom proceeds to move his right hand away from my legs now reaching up-wards to get a grasp around my neck, his fingers firmly squeezing my air source-
“if this is what needs to happen for you to listen like a good girl, then so be it..”
with a loud-primal grunt he fully inserts himself into my cunt, his cock deliciously filling me up inch by inch, he doesnt give me a moment to adjust before beginning to pump his member deep inside my tender walls.
“mmh-daddy t’smuchh it hurtss!”i manage to cry out, my eyes immediately watering from how hard his thick girth was hitting my cervix.
“shut up you ugh-wanted to disobey me?!this is what you fuckin’ get!”he yells at me, he lets go of his grip on my neck momentarily to give me a couple aggressive slaps to the face.
“your gonna take all of it!” slap slap “you hear me?! slap slap “useless slut!” slap slap
i continued taking in his violent attack on my pathetic body, he looked so dominant and manly taking all of his frustration out on me.he was right, if this is what it took for me to be “daddys good girl” then who was i to question him?
the desk rocks back and forth with the pace of toms brutal thrusts, the sound of our skin slapping and our mixed noises echoing through out our home, the piece of furniture creaked like it was seconds away from breaking beneath us.
his dark eyes pierced into my own, he must be enjoying the sight of me surrendering to his dominance.
“fuckkk!whos daddys little good girl eh?!”he questioned, his member suddenly throbbing inside my slick sex, his orgasm reaching right at the ledge of the edge, pleading for release.
“me me me, i-im your good girl tomuhh!”
“uhh-huh you like bein’ used like this rightt?!”
“mmhm just use me oh-god!”
his pounding soon becomes even more urgent and unbearable, he extends his arm out again his hand close to my face as previously.tom stuffs his middle and ring finger deep into my mouth, as i feel his hot load of cum suddenly shooting straight down my cervix.
“can i cum, can i cum?!”i inaudibly murmured, my pussy close to completely bursting all over his cock.
“n-no no no you dont get to cum!”
he pulls out as soon as he finishes, his fingers leaving my mouth, his white substance immediately oozing out of my hole, he didnt even give me the chance to climax.
after a few heavy groans he leans forward, his limp body collapsing on top of mine, his arms snaking around my waist, his touch now delicately and not cruel.
“i love when you fuck me like that.”i breathe out quietly.
he moves his head from my shoulder, his pussy-drunk gaze meeting mine-
“and i love doing it.”
THE END
#tokio hotel#tokio hotel smut#tokio hotel x reader#tom kaulitz#tom kaulitz smut#tom kaulitz x reader#bill kaulitz#bill kaulitz smut#bill kaulitz x reader#georg listing#gustav schäfer
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twisted wonderland characters as things i've heard in the locker room... pt.3
(yall re probably like "what the hell val? another one🤨🤨 yes. another one. ans for my new readers- im on the boys team as a gril)
(yuu is what i responded)
----
floyd: sometimes i just feel like i wanna kill myself
ace: me too man
jamil: im actually gonna kill myself.
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ace: sticking our your gyatt...
floyd: for the rizzler...
jamil: get out.
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ruggie: i love you man have a good game
leona: yeah.
ruggie: your not gonna say i love you back?
leona: what if i killed myself
----
yuu: someone hook me up
kalim: i have a cousin i dated for three months before realizing she was my cousin, i could hook you up with her!
yuu: what th???
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ace: yeah and the worker was like "dont open door i told you dont open door!" (filipino accent)
deuce: oh oh and then he was like "i scold you, you open door again i hit you!" (filipino accent.... not filipino)
ace: ohawh.. man uh.
deuce: what?
yuu: dude you cant say it like that since your not asian
deuce: what? but you talk like a hispanic person all the time?
yuu: i wonder why.
----
riddle: okay, lets just move on from the accent thing alright?
deuce: yep! ill stick to my accent and stop using others
trey: howdy y'all, good game mate
deuce: howdy mate! good gam..
riddle: ...
deuce: ill stop using other accents... starting now
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cater: hispanics are so HOTT like you guys dont get it
jack: shut up were meditating before the game quit it with your hispanic fetish.... god
cater: you guys dont get it.
----
ace: personally, i listen to justin bieber
jamil: im more into lana del rey
jack: megan for me
floyd: i listen to cardi b! how about you, yuu?
yuu: laufey and alex g
malleus: i love you (listens to both)
----
malleus: mary or sarah?
yuu: sandy
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ace: yo dude i think yuu might be buffer than jack
deuce: no way???
ace: YUU JACK
yuu:huh
jack: hm?
ace: can you both flex your muscles???
----
jack: you are not buffer than me.
yuu: shut up hoe, this is why i got a bigger dick than you
jack: you have a penis?...
yuu: for sure bigger than yours.
(i do in fact, not have a penis)
----
floyd: okay so listen guys, we need to get the shampoo and shove it upp our areolas and run around naked on basket field
azul: who.. wha??? oh my god are you high?
yuu: its the ace incident all over again...
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epel: yuu genuine question, what does pussy taste like
yuu: ....? it tastes like pussy?
epel: i just ate a pussy.
yuu: man....good for you i guess? wait WHAT
----
(for context a bird flew into the glass and flew into the locker rooms)
deuce: OH MY GOD?!?
epel: KILL IT
kalim: no dont kill it!
ace: yuu do something!!!!
yuu: why are you asking me? your the man
floyd: JUST DO SOMETHING
yuu: ugh.... men only act proud and strong to flaunt.
----
floyd & kalim: THERES A SPIDER
kalim: JAMIL HELP... me?
jamil: *fucking hiding on top of the lockers*
----
yuu: why didnt i become a cheerleader.
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland smau#twisted wonderland x reader#football team#floyd leech#twst x reader#twisted wonderland headcanons
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ZENDAYA EATING A PIZZA!
TOUGH LOVE RANT!
Hi now that I’ve got your attention
I’m going to yell at you
Cuz I love you but y’all killing me with this
“I have the urge to move”
Or my favorite
“I didn’t get symptoms”
Mmmm this one is ultimate favorite
“How do I enter the void?”
😃
Sweetie what do you think my posts are about???
How to find the tooth fairy?
Please stop asking me that when it’s literally in ALL MY POSTS
I literally got blocked cuz I was asked over and over again
By someone I thought was a friend
How to get in the void
I told her
It’s in my posts
Read my posts
I guess she didn’t wanna do that
All you’re doing is meditating
Yall act like you have to clean a whole warehouse or work a 10am to 2am shift!
Like it’s giving
“Omg I have to lay still and affirm and breathe and actually be relaxed and ignore the 3D which I hate anyways and leave this physical plane to go to my 4D which is pretty much me in my most powerful and purest state to gain peace and comfort and manifest my desires because I was born to do this and then wake up with my desires because it’s literally so easy ugh that’s too much it’s soo hard!!
SOME OF YALL ARE GIVING THAT EXACT ENERGY
Im not comparing trauma or anything everything you’re going through is valid
But somebody is probably going through something so horrible
And they don’t know about the void state or manifestation in general!
YET YOU DO!!
Because guys I love you but you’re all asking the same thing over and over and over again
It’s driving me insane
Every post I make is about the void
What it is and how to get in
If my account was about making bagels
Would you ask me
“Do you make bagels?”
You see what I mean?
I love you so much but stop asking the same thing
And I made a post on boundaries
Still had someone asking me to enter the void for them
How am I gonna take time out of MY DAY
To enter the void for someone with the SAME POWER AS ME!!!!
That’s like helping a genius with his homework
You already know how to do it tf you asking me for????
😐
Bro
What do you think the void is???????
It’s not Disneyland
It’s not your mamas house
It’s not a Beyoncé concert
STOP TREATING IT LIKE ITS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING EVER OR THAT ITS OUT OF REACH OR OH I ONLY GET IN IF IM LUCKY
IT IS LITERALLY NOT!!!
There’s is no luck when it comes to the void
I’m not gonna keep repeating myself
Everyone on here keeps telling yall the same things
Yet you still ask
How to enter
Or
Complaining about not having symptoms
BECAUSE YOU GOT USED TO IT THATS WHY YOU HAVE NO SYMPTOMS ANYMORE AND EVEN IF YOU DO IDC IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR WHOLE BODY IS BEING DRAGGED ACROSS THE MF ROOM IGNORE IT YOUR SYMPTOMS IS APART OF THE 3D REALITY
WHY?
BECAUSE THEY ARE APART OF YOUR BODY AND YOUR BODY IS PHYSICAL THIS WHOLE REALITY IS PHYSICAL THERES NO POWER HERE YOU ARE THE 4D!!!!
THATS WHERE THE POWER IS AND ITS POWERFUL BECAUSE OF YOU
ITS ALWAYS BEEN YOU AND IT WILL ALWAYS BE YOU YOU HOLD THE POWER YOU ARE THE REASON WHY YOU EITHER ENTERED OR HAVENT BECAUSE ITS BASED ON YOUR ASSUMPTIONS
THE 3D IS A PHYSICAL REFLECTION OF YOU
YOU DONT LIKE IT RIGHT???????
OK MEDITATE
How???
BITCH JUST LAY THERE FOCUS ON YOUR BREATHING AND YOUR PEACE
AT THIS POINT SAY
FUCK MY DESIRES IMMA GET THEM ANYWAYS
IF YOUR ONLY GOAL FOR THE VOID IS TO MANIFEST YOUR DESIRES
YOU’RE GONNA GET IN ANYWAY BUT YOUR GOAL SHOULD INCREASE WITH EVERY STEP
WHEN YOU LAY DOWN FOCUS ON JUST FINDING PEACE AND CONNECTING WITH YOUR SELF DEEPLY FUCK THOSE SYMPTOMS FUCK ANY 3D REACTIONS IF YOU GET NO SYMPTOMS EVEN BETTER NOTHING TO DISTRACT YOU
IF YOU GET SLEEPY KEEP AFFIRMING YOU’LL WAKE UP IN THE VOID
DIDNT WORK?
DO IT AGAIN
“But I’m_(excuses)”
NOPE
DO IT AGAIN THIS IS FOR YOU NOT JUST YOUR DESIRES BUT YOU ARE GOING HOME TO GET THE PEACE YOU DESERVE
THE 4D IS YOUR HOME ITS CALLING YOU!!
YOU CREATED IT THE UNIVERSE TRYNA LET YOU KNOW WHOS BOSS
THAT BOSS IS YOU
SO LIKE A BOSS
GO TO WORK
GET WHAT YOU DESERVE
STOP COMPLAINING STOP RESEARCHING GET OFF OF HERE NOW!!
AND STOP USING ME AS YOUR VOID COACH I MAKE POSTS TO INSPIRE I RESPOND TO DMS FOR ASKS THAT I HAVENT ALREADY COVERED IF YOU NEED A QUESTION READ MY POSTS BEFORE YOU ASK
Not to be rude but you might get blocked if you ask
“How to enter the void?”
Bro
ALL MY POSTS TALK ABOUT THAT
Quit overcomplicating
You made the void
It exists because of you
Put YOURSELF on a pedestal not anything or anyone
Sometimes I feel like yall just use me and other blogs on here to get info on something we already talked about on our posts
Just for you to get mad when we get fed up with repetitive questions
BLOCK ME THEN BUT IM NOT ABOUT TO BABY YOU IM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH THE POWER LIES WITHIN YOU GIRLIE
READ BEFORE YOU ASK BABY
If this still doesn’t help you
Idk what else to say
I love you much love 🩵
#law of assumption#law of attraction#void state#law of manifestation#manifesting#manifesation#subliminals#loassblog#loassumption#void#manifesting affirm and persist#meditating#guided meditation#motivation#meditation#robotically affirming#reality shift#desired reality#loa tumblr#loablr#loa success#desired life#loa blog#getyourdreamlife#law of the universe#dream life#affirm and persist
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SID JENKINS X F!READER
angst + comfort hc fic drabble thingy
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
(a/n) nobody requested this, i just made one of my friemds choose 1 or 2 to figure out if i wanna write for sid or freddie, made her choose the format and the genre and then i left her alone😽🎀 (luv u pooks<3)
also girl im listening to some fuck ahh the nbh rn, kill me (i love it, i chose it)
warnings: profanity (its skins, what did you expect?), reader has boobs (very silly goofy, ik.), i think it could be read as gn reader but when i wrote it i had myself in mind so... f!reader?..., also michelle and tony are brefly memtioned at one point (as chelle and tone iykyk), also might contain spoilers(as in, it does contain spoilers)
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•summer is a season both you and your boyfriend, sid, hate dearly;
•you still had sleepovers, only at this time of the year, the heat left over from the day before made it unbearable to sleep like you usually did (which was usually one of you on top of the other if im being honest);
•so here you sat now, layed out on sids bed, a thin sheet covering one of your legs and your lower abdomen, trying to maybe get at least an hour or two of shut eye before the sun would rise once again;
•sitting there, you felt your boyfriend shuffle in his sleep. you didnt think much of it seeing as he often moved while sleeping, until you felt his arm thrown across your abdomen;
• you let him be, thinking that was going to satisfy his yearning for physical contact, but you were wrong;
•not even a couple of minutes later, he rested his head on your chest while his arms hugged you, his hands interlocking behind your back;
•you tried desperately to cool off, kicking the sheets off of your body. unfortunately your attemptes fell unsuccesfull as the obvious heat sorce sitting on top of you had not moved;
•gently lifting him up and laying him next to your spot on the bed, you got up. "ugh, wanker..." you looked at the sleeping teenager next to you. some sheets tangled between your legs made you trip but you cought yourself on his desk, knocking over a few late assignments he had yet to turn in. "well, its not like he would ever get to doing them anyway" you tought as you regained your composure and left the room heading for the stairs.
•you now sat on top of the counter of his kitchen, a glass of cold water in hand from which you periodicly took small sips;
•the only thing you could focus on was the ice cold water sooting your agony as it seemed to indeed help you cool off after the encounter with the sleeping form of your boyfriend;
•"there you are" you heard sids voice come from behind you, a sheepish smile plastered on your face at the tought that his first concern after waking up was you;
•"oh, NOW you wake up" you giggle to yourself as you feel his elbow resting next to you on the counter;
•"what do you mean?" he asks you, tiredness evident in his tone "i mean, yea, ive been sleeping good, but did you try to wake me up or something?";
•"nah, didnt wanna interupt your beauty sleep" you nudge his side playfully "god knows you need it"; "it was just too hot up there, especially with you resting your head between my tits";
•he gasped dramaticly "i would never do such a thing!" ... "sid you and me both know you stare at 'chelles tits whenever we see her and tone' so cut the bullshit" "yea, youre right, im looking at yours right now and they look..." you punch his arm as a warning to not continue what he planned to say;
•"sid, hon, its hot as bollox back in your room, so as much as im flatered by your comments on my great personality id prefer we sleep a little farther apart tonight. you know, just so i dont spontaneously combust while you focus on my boobs on eather side of you head";
•sid slightly laughes before pausing. "can we... go back to bed please?" he avoids your gaze after saying that, making you drop your teasing tone. "sure sid" you say as you hop down from where you were sitting, placing the glass near the sink"are you okay?" you ask your boyfriend,
•"yea, why wouldnt i be?";
•"well, for starters you not only woke up, vut also got out of bed? at 4 am? you?";
•"i didnt know where you went, okay? i just..." he sighed and looked at the floor "i dreamt i lost you too, you know?";
•"well shit..." you murmur as you aproach the boy in front of you;
•you reach out your hands, cupping his face to make him look at you; "look, im here, see? im fine, you dont need to worry, okay?" you say as you reach on your tippy toes, giving him a quick peck before letting yourself fall to your normal height once again;
•"yea... i know" he smiled down at you before continuing "so... can we go now?";
•"sure dude" you smiled back at the boy in front of you before taking his hand and leading him back to his room upstairs;
•its safe to say you didnt get much sleep that night, seeing as he climbed on top of you once again as soon as he feel back asleep, but you didnt get up again; sure, you did try to push him off of you a couple of times, but seeing his persistence you gave up quickly;
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random ahh hc:
after his mom leaving and his dad dying, bro was an emotional wreck;
he became even more clingy than before, trying to somehow make sure you wont leave him too;
so, in return, you had to make sure he knew how much you cared for him;
you know how he followed tony everywhere? and how he showed up at his house? yea, well scratch that, youre his tony now. he shows up at your house unnanounced and ends up sleeping with you on your bed just because he feels like it. like, this of the codependency between him and tony and youve got the general idea of how hed act and what hed do. (their relationship was nothing if not low key homo erotic. well, at least on tonys part ig-);
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
okay so thats it guys omg
(i havent written anything in a very long time so im sorry if its ass lmao)
anyway, feel free to point out any spelling mistakes or anything like that, i really dont mind
other than that, have a great rest of your day/night!
#skins uk#x reader#fanfiction#sid jenkins#sid skins#reader insert#comfort#hurt/comfort#slight angst?
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Hello amazing fandom :) I have been itching for this ep since the moment D sent me the ep description for it. I'm glad they didn't spoil much of this ep at all. I have a lot of feelings for this one so might be so mini LOL Off we go.
6x05 The Vow
Oh my lord starting out hot with a romantic dinner and a kiss. Also want to talk about they both light up when they see each other. Like they're still in that honeymoon phase somewhat. They’re both so happy to see each other I wanna die. haha Lucy of course has to question the gift. Saying gift giving is not his love language. Damn they cute. Tim saying he is trying to change things up. I’m squeeing and we’re like less than a minute in everyone.
Damnit he’s so romantic with what the gift is. It’s her radio from last week. Oh my word. Lucy is in awe of this man standing before her. Oh my goodness we get a second kiss I’m squeeing so hard. *screams into a pillow* A thank you kiss no less. Loving how he has his hand wrapped around her arm. Pulling her in close for both misses. You know I should've known this ep was going to hurt with getting two kisses within the span of 3 minutes and a cute ass moment to boot.
Like in a video game where they let you stumble upon a bunch of ammo right before a massive fight scene. You know shit is about to go down with them supplying you like that. How I felt with getting cuteness and two kisses right away. I am so excited Tamara has appeared. Wouldn’t be the return of her if she didn’t cock block them. Tim shaking his head too. Classic. Lucy telling her it’s ok. Also LOVING that they have a pre-planned date night. Be still my heart.
Tim gets his cryptic ass phone call and immediately takes off. Lucy looks crushed for a couple reasons. First that he can’t stay. She was clearly looking forward to a night with her man all day. Second the fact he's so short with her. Breaking my heart 'Just wait.' Her Tim radar is going OFFFF Lucy looks SHOOK with his hasty departure. Her heart just walked out the door and it shows.
Oh my word I knew It would be from his military past. The blind spot for the most part we have with his character. I was hoping it would be. The Tim fan girl in me is psyched af. I was thinking who is this Ray and why is Tim so spooked? Then we find out this dude killed their friends and there’s a promise.... Uhhhh the promise is to kill him? Uh Timothy, my love you are a cop….
Oh Lucy is anxious af without him. Ugh she knows something is wrong immediately. Knows this man too damn well. Side tangent about to start. I know some people complained how long it took for them to get together blah blah. BUT I wasn’t. These moments right here are exactly why.
The fact that the very second he took that call she knew deep in her gut something was wrong with him. That is not a connection you get with someone overnight. That is years worth of working together, leaning on each other, learning about one another and seeing each other through a lot of things together. That connection and instinct on someone is built over time.
The beautiful recipe they have now wasn’t ready till we got close to it in s4 and even then they still had some tweaking to do before we reached S5. That being said I love her missing him. My guess is other than 6x01 they’ve scarcely spent a night apart. Also her Tim radar is going bonkers right now. She looks so sick to her stomach when she hangs up.
Tim seeing Lucy’s call going off and not being able to answer. It's clearly killing him. We see him take a beat and a deep breath. Clearly doesn’t want to be here rather be there with her. Last thing he wanted was his date night interrupted. Also she is his ‘go to’ for pretty much everything. You know its actively tearing him up to not answer her.
Oh my he was called the 'Reaper'? Holy hell why is that so attractive? Everything with Tim usually is. But hot damn that being his nickname in the service? I am fanning myself. Idk if that's wrong but I am haha But it does give us insight to who he was in the service tbh. You don't get called 'The Reaper.' without good reason.... Why Greer thinks Tim is going soft on him.
I do love Tim reinforcing the law also very attractive oh my goodness. You tell ‘em love. I don’t love this guy guilting Tim into keeping this pact. He’s SOOOOO loyal he’s gonna keep to it. Even at his own detriment. The man shoulders SO MUCH he already doesn't need to. Ugh Tim saying they’ve built lives. Yes you have. With Lucy. The love of your life you walked away from tonight to be here right now. After this chat I knew this ep was going to hurt so good. I could feel it.
The jokes in the car are cute was hoping he’d ask Tim about Lucy. Sadly we didn't' get this. This whole situation makes me nervous af. God Tim looks extra fine in this episode street clothes on him are a wonder. A delicious one.
My god this list of crimes this guy has done sweet lord. Stole money. Called in an air strike on his own men when they came for him holy shit …Wasn't enough to bury in a shoe box.....fuck they both lied to get Ray’s wife and kid death benefits and if they bring him in it’s a problem.
Crap this is so bad Tim... Saying they’ll get fired from their current jobs and be dishonorably discharged from the service. I’m nervous…this isn’t a good situation. Also not surprised in the least he broke the rules to take care of someone. That empathy of his ran deep before it got buried by his Isabel trauma later on.
First off let me say Eric KILLED ME in this scene. I was tearing up at how tore up he is about all of this. Tim wanting to take the fall.... Damnit Timothy you have a life too. Don't fall on your sword my god imma cry. Tim’s integrity is one of his sexiest traits IMO. I too have a deep sense of integrity drives everyone I work with insane. He’s in tears saying he would arrest him. Oh my word. I'm crying again. Eric killing me softly holy hell. I'm so mad at Greer for putting that on him. I had a bad feeling about Greer the minute he guilted Tim into this side OP.
How dare you put that on my Tim. He already has so much on his soul. A chunk of it not even his fault. The man is a deeper empath than he gets credit for. He absorbs the feelings and pain of those around him and shoulders things he doesn't need to. I'm learning in therapy I do the same thing. My therapist told me one thing to be empathetic. It's another to feel responsible for other's feelings or the outcome of actions I've taken and how it affects others. I feel like Tim is the same way. He's such an empath he's taken that responsibility to the extreme and is carrying things he doesn't need to be.
I wanna hug him oh my god. His sigh when Greer left. My heart. I'm sure part of the reason he's hiding this from Lucy is the shame he feels. This man (Ray) stole half a million from the government then bombed his own people on his watch. Tim breaks the rules to make sure his widow and child are taken care of and its bites him in this ass. There is a reason he was/is so damn rigid as a cop. 'Rules matter boot.' His PTSD in a line. Anytime he has let his guard down and skirted the rules people have been injured (Mitch) or in this case killed. Ugh. My poor boy. The hitch in his breath like he couldn't breath that entire convo. I'm hurting so much for him in this episode.
Poor Lucy kept it together at work but lost it when he finally gets home. That look of hope when he walks through the door then instant anger. ‘Telling me you’re alive is not optional.’ Ugh she’s not wrong....I can only imagine what her anxiety was doing to her until he walked through that door. It's shown in her lines above. Her imagining him bleeding out somewhere.
She is not wrong it wasn't ok he didn't even tell her he was alive. I get why he didn't but he should've. Lucy straight confronting him. Asking him what the actual hell is going on with him? No one knows you better than her. You can't hide what you're going through. Tim of course wants to protect her from being fired and refuses to tell her what he's torn up about. Only alluding to it's serious enough if she knows she will be jeopardizing her standing at work.
Her saying 'Then what are you doing here?' God damn Lucy... telling it like it is. Holy hell. Poor Tim is so taken aback by her response. He breaks my heart when he says 'I came to see you.' Lucy has become his safe place. His comfort zone. So by default he came here to seek that comfort. She is home now and he came home. But she can’t comfort you when she doesn’t know what to comfort you for. This scene hurts to watch. Because he is DYING for her compassion, her warmth and just her. He is denied access because she is setting a boundary with this as she should. Tim needs to share the load with her. To tell her the truth. She is willing to risk her standing for him.
My god if she actually knew she would be kicking herself for how much he needs her right now. But she doesn't know so she sends him away. The tears in both their eyes His 'Understood'. Man is about to cry in front of her. I’m dying. Someone revive me. I’m dead and not in a good way. I’m crying. Eric and Melissa out here crushing it though. Gah Tim would rather blow them up and protect her than not ugh Timmmmmmm I get both sides of this. Tim thinks since this is pre-Lucy and could get her in trouble he needs to bear this alone. When she is begging him to let her share the load of this. Sending him away is her setting a boundary. That he needs to think not just of her but of them. To tackle things together. To stop protecting her.
They’re both hurting in this scene. But the issue at hand still is them only thinking in terms of 'Me' not us. Even though when one of them does this it’s to protect the other. That’s fine and dandy but when it come to them as a whole it’s a problem. Shit hits the fan they eject away thinking that’s the best course of action. It’s been an issue for some time this lack of communication. This is just bringing it to a head. They don’t think how can we tackle this together? They think how can I protect my person from this? Or protect their feelings by lying.
Also think that radio being in this scene was there for a reason. That radio is the representation of Lucy not telling Tim exactly how not ok she was in 6x04. She was so willing to pretend she was ok. And instead of leaning on him. Voicing that so they could tackle it together. She ran into the line of fire recklessly instead to prove herself worthy again. Almost killing herself in the process. Because she was in her head instead of communicating to Tim. These two gonna be death of me...
Wanna hug Lucy. She is desperate for any kind of help. So she reaches out to Nolan. John per usual is completely useless for her in a crisis. Man is as useful as using a fork to eat soup. These are the moments I miss Jackson for Lucy so much. He would’ve had a much better an answer. Then just ‘you're shit out of luck.’ That’s not enough damnit.
Nolan basically saying. "What are you gonna do?' with a shrug. If I could clock you John I would. I don't normally watch the preview for the next ep till I'm done assembling my thoughts. But with this one I couldn't wait. This is why Lucy goes to Angela next week about Tim instead. She needed a real grown up to help her with Tim.
We rejoin Lucy looking at her phone. Trying so damn hard not to reach out. To be the trusting girlfriend for her man. I know we're in a bad spot but Lucy calling Tim 'her man' gah yes please more of that. I am grateful for Tamara. She needs her right now since Nolan is useless af. Lucy is trying so very hard not to spiral out atm. She confronted him and it didn't go well. Lucy is feeling at a loss right now and rightfully so. I adore Tamara for making her laugh in this moment so very much.
The lesson's Tamara has learned is too damn cute. I loved it so much. Lucy needed this moment of levity and her pseudo daughter crushed it. We pan back to Tim also starting at his phone wanting to call. Ugh Tim what are you gonna do babe? You can’t kill him. Can’t turn him in. I feel sick lol Also once again amazing song to close it out. I watch the ep with my gaming headphones on. One because I love hearing Eric’s voice straight in my ears not gonna lie. Don’t judge me ha Also catch onto music more so with them on.
But back to the matter at hand…Now do I think they’re gonna break up cause he’s gonna protect her? I don’t. Their angst since they got together has always been productive. Is it gonna hurt like a son of a bitch before we get there? Yes.
My hope is this drives them to depend on one another more and not just straight protect each other at the detriment of the one they're ironically trying to protect. Better communication which has been an issue for some time. To learn to face these challenges not only head on but hand in hand while they do so. These are the types of things they need to learn before their relationship gets any more serious than it is tbh. So while this hurts like a lot it'll be good for them in the long run.
This season has EXCEEDED my expectations ten fold. If you aren't happy with this season idk what will make you happy tbh. I said the same thing about S5 as well. I cannot wait for next week. Which I am hoping is full of worried/feral Lucy and their reunion and growth from it. Phew feel free to comment any theories or thoughts on my first take thoughts I love them so. Also thank you everyone supporting these mini reviews you're amazing and makes the effort always worth it.
Side notes -non Chenford
Ok Aaron seeing his therapist at the bar excited for him I knew low key there would be something there.
Bailey and John seem so cold I know they’re on duty but even grey held his wife’s hand at the hospital…
Of course Smitty takes his break at a therapist office
Lucy’s joke about Celina omg LOL I'm impressed with such a solid joke when she was low key worried the love of her life was dying in a ditch somewhere...
Also clearly his therapist is a lying liar who lies but how can she not be? She's his therapist and WORK one at that. Be interesting to see how this unfolds.
#Caitlin mini reviews#chenford#s6#6x05 The Vow#the rookie 6x05#otp: unless it is#otp: doing my job#tim x lucy#tim bradford#lucy chen#lucy x tim#eric winter#melissa o'neil#the rookie#tim bradford x lucy chen
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unfair dare | draco m. 🪄x reader| (she/her)
"Could you write an angst fic with draco malfoy? where draco and his friends make a bet that draco has to conquer y/ n, in the end he succeeds and they become a couple, but draco begins to have feelings for her, then she finds out and ends up with him confronting him and draco feels so bad😕":
*a/n: I added some adjustments to the request bc I got a little confused 😅 and im back so I just rambled on with what my mind was giving me so hope you enjoy!! <3🙏🏽
“draco! draco!” his friend came
“What?” He grumbled out turning to now face Blaise
“you up for some fun?” any interest that draco had, dropped
“no, now get out” he turned to continue the work he was doing
"it involves (y/n)"
and what would i want with a skank like her?" he turned, with a look of disgust
" y'know the rumors arent true... you made them" Blaise was the only one who would notice Draco’s admiration for (y/n) but knows Draco would never admit, no he’d much rather “kill himself” in the words of the angry blonde.
"Still, ive got to hold my ground, cant go folding on my own stories" the blonde fully turned to face his friend, with a face of intrest and forgetting his work
"what about her though?"
"ask her out"
"what" he laughed out in disbelief
"ask her out, i saw the redhead talking to her"
"so?"
"she looked swooned, over the moon with him... I dare you to take her, make him mad" blaise knew you and ron were just friends, he also knew that draco didn’t know that.. and he’d do anything to spite weasley and he wanted his two friends together and to finally put aside their feud
"i dont have time to deal with weasley, blaise"
"guess someones insecure.." he hummed leaving the room.
"ill show him who’s “insecure” he mumbled in a mocking way lightly slamming his hands on the desk.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“Blaise!” “Blaise!” Draco stormed after him
“what?” he asked rolling his eyes, his friend not wanting to join in on what he thought was fun
“ you’re on, after potions”
“ oh yeah?” he asked, a smirk creeping onto his face
“ and ill even drop in a hundred galleons”
“ohhoho you are most definitely on mate” they laughed sealing their deal with a hand shake.
the blond tried to think of all his strategy on how to land the girl his friend had just sprung on him, but anything he thought of ended up with her slapping, kicking or punching him, after all she was friends with those red heads; and everyone knows they how they play.
“ now welcome back to another day students, thankful to all those who still decide to come back after my well, rather boring lessons” the professor tried to joke
“ now my lovelies, we will be working in pairs.. we’ll be doing a three day long project and it will count for your final marks”
she started calling out pairs and draco tried his best to make it seemed like he wanted nothing to do with you, after all he knew the teacher would do the opposite, she hated him.
her eyes finally landed on draco and she started looking at every girl watching dracos reaction until it got to you, he stiffened up and widened his eyes making it look like he was disgusted, blaise smiling in the background had her make her final decision
“ draco, you will be working with…. (y/n)” she gave an innocent smile, and he heard an annoyed sigh quietly escape from her mouth.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
( y/n)! I cant believe it, out of all people, draco?!”
“ its not like I could choose myself hermione” you replied, now slightly annoyed, this was the fourth time she had brought it up
“I know but-"
“ do you wanna switch or something? you're more concerned about this than I am!” you whisper-yelled out in the library
“no, well , yeah no.. im just looking out for you, he still y’know, acts like the rumors are true.., are you okay?”
“ugh I know..” you sighed out, sitting back down rubbing youre temples
“ its nothing to bad, I can deal with him.. i think”
“ well, if you need help you know where to find me” she gave you a comforting smile while leaving.
A few months earlier
“i told you to leave me alone (y/n)!”
“what's wrong afraid of a little competition Draco?” a young (y/n) had teased the young blonde she found slightly cute
“ no, now I told you, leave me alone or I'll make your life terrible here!” he seethed out, pushing the girl he was intimidated of to the floor.
you still tried to continue the friendship you thought you still had with the blonde throughout the time at hogwarts, until one day you noticed people whispering and snickering whenever you’d walk up or walk away from draco.
“(y/n) .. is it true? you’re my best friend I want to hear it from you.” hermione knew something was up and she needed you to confirm whether it was true or not.
you slowly looked up still confused “is what true mione?”
“they’re saying you had a few to many to drink yesterday and well went to find draco begging , and well you tried getting onto him and when he turned you away you tried getting onto blaise, also begging... ”
“what?..” you felt your heart shatter.
you walked up to draco after class and pulled him into a corner to save him some dignity “
“you absolute scum!” you yelled out while smacking him
“how could you?, honestly draco!”
“c’mon (y/n) you didn’t think someone like you could be friends with someone like me, did you he let out a sarcastic chuckle
“well I mean yeah draco I did!, I mean honestly I guess growing up with someone since they were young means nothing right?!” you were fuming, tears starting to brim your eyes but you pushed them back
“growing up?” he laughed
“yeah! seriously draco whats gotten into since we’ve arrived here? whats changed?” your heart started to hurt
“(y/n) your dad works for mine, he’s a servant, hell! he’s the closest thing to a human house elf!”
he said with a straight face, angered, but for a small second hurt crossed his face but having to keep his new character he switched back and just as fast as his face changed, he left. and so did the friendship you thought you had. walking back to the common room as fast as you could, trying to hold in the tears that were brimming your eyes.. sadly failing at the challenge you didn’t think was so hard.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“thanks for checking up on me, this whole thing has had me a bit stressed” you finally admitted to hermione
“of course, now if you need anything, anything at all you know where to find me.. oh! and tonights password it “grapefruit”” she whispered out knowing the fat lady changes the secret word every night.
you walked back to your chair by the fire place and dove back into your books trying to figure out what potions were going to be the ones you were so secure on
“up so late?” a voice that freshly woken up, asked from behind
“yes … draco” you saw who it was after turning around “after all we do have a project to get to” you reminded him
“ yes of course we do..” “ listen go up and get some rest”
“no, nope-
“yes” he said softly while grabbing the books from you
“draco i said -
“yes but i said go, now go get some rest.. i’ll tell you the decided ones in the morning.”
you suspiciously got up, backing up and walking up the stairs
“late night? (y/n)"
“yes, guess you could say the same right blaise”
“i’ve been around a few common rooms” he winked
“i don’t know why they’re still all after you knowing they’re all being used..” you joked out
“they’re used to being used” he shrugged “ like draco said, go get some rest… and again i’m sorry, (y/n).”
blaise has always apologized for the things draco has done, knowing he’s hurt the girl whose absolutely nothing to him, he felt bad never standing up for her.
“its okay don’t worry” you assured with a sad smile, like always “good night, blaise”
“night!” he whisper-yelled while walking down to draco.
"that girl, im telling you shes the one"
"yeah you and my whole family tell me, now remember what we bet on is a bet and a bet only"
"yeah Draco.. its just a bet..."
blaise had been wanting to get you two together since you were young, he noticed how happy draco was when he was around you, you were his escape inside the manor, you were the one who could flip his mood entirely, he also knew that dracos family would never approve of you two together.
#harry potter imagine#harry potter#draco x y/n#draco malfoy#draco x reader#dracotok#ron weasley#hermione granger
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My honest unorganized thoughts on c!wilburs ending
(2 years late)
tw: mentions of suicide
I would put my thoughts on the apology tour here too but I think that will make this post to long so i'm just going to talk about the finale stream itself.
Also this is very unorganized bc I dont really remember how it exactly played out and I could go back and watch the VOD but ion wanna hear wilburs voice so im using the wiki for this therefore I wont have intricate details
One thing I really like is the flashback at the beginning. Especially the fade from L'manburg to the destroyed L'manburg I love it sm it reminds me of Analog horror series
(That part isn't relevant tho that's just me nerding out over analog horror)
They then go to Las Nevadas to try and apologize to Q but get ghosted and im pretty sure it was bc of conflicting schedules or smth but the fact that c!tntduo never got a proper ending pisses me off to this day. LIKE wdym they never interacted ever again??? Wdym if followin the dsmp ending Quackity probably has no memory of c!wilbur??? !?!?!??!?! I rlly just wish they could've gotten some form of closure either from cc!wil or cc!quackity and sure its funny ig that Q canonically ghosted c!wilbur but still??!?!??!?! ugh anyways
Tommys outburst towards wil..."I never used to be this angry" KILLS MEEEEEEEEEEE. Also c!wilbur getting scared was so....NOT EVEN TWO SECONDS LATER tommy fucking asks "Wil, are you going to kill yourself?" FUCK?????? BRO????????????? WILBUR DENYING IT TO???? Maybe im wrong here but I dont ever remember other characters acknowledging c!wilbur being suicidal and esp the fact it was c!tommy UGH it kills me
Now getting to my criticisms a little bit, I don't like the utah and gas station thing at all. It feels just so random? Out of place even. I would've liked it more if it was just a desert where c!wilbur was from or something
Then wilburs goes to leave blah blah blah don't trust those americans yada yada
Oh but C!tommy asking c!wilbur to forgive the most important person (himself) then a few minutes later we get "I never did forgive myself"OUGDHSHSGHDGDSHUSHGHUHB
Okay now im going to lay out my main criticisms I have with the finale and why I think it was somewhat unsatisfying and we c!wilbur fans were kinda fucked over in the end
-We should've gotten a VERBAL apology to c!tommy
I understand c!wilbur was afraid of losing him or whatever but it would've shown SO MUCH GROWTH FROM HIM IF HE OUTLOUD SAID "Im sorry" TO THE PERSON HE HURT MOST. Im pissed that presumably cc!wilbur decided not to have that happen. Even if it was bad JUST DO IT. c!wilbur was going to leave anyways so him being scared of losing c!tommy if he apologized wouldn't matter!
My next point is that c!wilbur leaving wasn't thought out enough I think. I do personally think c!wilbur should've left the place that ruined him to heal. That's step one of learning to heal but with the apology tour being a flop and him never verbally apologizing to c!tommy it felt unsatisfying and almost underserved and I see why so many people afterward were like "he doesn't just get to leave". What would've helped I think would've been more streams or longer streams if possible. There was so much shit that needed to be retconned but it wasn't given enough time I feel and thats why to so many ppl they were unsatifyed/upset
Going more into the utah shit. I hate it. I hate the "Plot twist" of him being secretly american and from utah. Not even getting into how the real world is now apparently canon to the dsmp in one of the last few dsmp lore streams. I honestly would've liked it more if it wasn't specifically named what the place was instead it was just home. I also had this idea of instead of him disappearing in the middle of the ocean I think it would've been cooler if c!wilbur took a train somewhere almost like a callback to limbo.
I don't like how its somewhat implied c!wilbur killed himself again. It feels cheap to kill of a already heavily suicidal character AGAIN when instead it genuinely could've been a story about how you can learn to heal and forgive yourself even if you did bad things. Maybe this is just me not wanting my favorite character to die but I don't like it at all
Ghostbur was also handled terribly. I understand why alivebur hated him but I also think it would've shown growth if he learned to accept ghostbur in the end. Even if it wasn't fully
Also why the fuck did we never get the contents of the book c!wilbur gave c!tommy?? You throw that shit in just to never tell us what's in it almost 2 years later??
Final thoughts
I might go back and edit this later with more things but for my final thoughts I think c!wilburs finale +the apology tour was a big unsatisfying flop and I belive c!wilbur fans were unfairly fucked over in the end.
Not to sing brighton biter praise, but I do believe he was a good writer and the fact that the last few streams were this unsatisfying is disappointing coming from him. I mean im sure he just wanted to get c!wilburs finale out so he could be done with it but that's not an excuse for fucking your fans over. There was also probably issues with other ccs and characters since (Imo) a lot of the characters he interacted with in the end don't have the best writing (not meant to insult the ccs btw, just saying)
But personally, I somewhat accept it simply bc this is the best we got and I personally don't like alot of other fan re writes on his ending and I also don't like his ending just being "lol he killed himself again"
Anyways that's it, sorry for being unorganized and I apologize if I got anything wrong I might add more to this later. Thx for listening <3
#dsmp#dream smp#dsmpblr#c!wilbur#cwilbur#dsmp wilbur#revivebur#wilbur supporters dni#lovejoy fans dni
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AUAHHHHH teeny little losing my mind below the cut ^_^ ignore or don't idc lawl ummmm tw for talk about EDs yayyy yay yay. I'm Going to kill something and that something might be me (kidding maybe) ill probably delete this later
OH MY GOD IM.GOING INSANE i hate it here i hate it here i h. me when the mental illness is actually ruining my life and its not something silly and a little joke teehee :3 i was trying sooooo so hard to get better and i can just feel that slipping away from me and Ugh!!!! or maybe i was never Getting Better maybe thats just something i told myself so i didn't feel terrible about the fact that i started eating normally again . because my mindset never changed lol ive felt disgusted with myself for the past Year . but i didn't do anything about it Sooo therefore i can't feel sorry for myself now because its all my fault >_< !!! im just so sick of everything god ive had this stupid freaaaking ed since 2022 its been almost three years and i!!! can't even remember my Normal before then!!! sorry if anyone's reading this i don't wanna talk about it in too much detail but i can't go a single day without feeling absolutely repulsive and yeah. maybe i don't wanna go back to how sick i was at the height of it but at the same time i want that validation. i want the thinning hair and the gaunt cheeks and the collarbones and the dizziness and the always being cold. i want that validation that this sickness is actually real. I'm going to throw uppppp probably . I Love my BRAIN and it doesn't make it better that my irl just dmed me saying "hey im worried about your reposts are you okay" WHAT DO I SAY lawl . Yeahhh I'm totally fine and i definitely haven't relapsed and you have nothing to worry about !! Ignore all the stuff I reposted about EDs!!! They mean nothing!!! UGHHHHHHHH but i can't tell her the truth because then ill have to talk about it 😋😋😋 i hate my life i hate my life omg one of these days im going to actually freaking jump off a cliff im being sooo for real. AND ITS NOT EVEN JUST THR ED chat i think i might actually be depressed but uhhh 😬🙏 yikes!!! this puppyboy can fit soooo much mental illness inside himmm :33 isn't he soooo amazing!?? not to mention irs been a freaking year since my aunt died the one year anniversary was Yesterday and I've been losing my balls over that for weeks and . ok soz for the trauma dump LOLLLL im just truly losing my shit <3<3 yayyyy yay yay yay. New challenge !! can aiden make it to 19?? tune in to find out >_< !!!!
#whagt do i tag this as LOL#☆ aiden's going to die 💜#yayyy yay :3#the lore goes crazy#if u read this dont ask any follow up questions ill literally explode and die#i stay silly :3
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This oneshot was originally posted on my second wattpad account and I wanna post them here instead because I know ppl will see them
++============++
Not My Vision To Take
++============++
Genshin Impact one-shot
{kaedahara kazuha x tall!fem!reader}
Additional notes:
V/t = vision type
G/n = god name
++
Y/n felt at peace as she felt the sea breeze on Beiduo's ship. It was late at night as Y/n stood on the top deck of the ship, staring out into the ocean. Y/n hasn't really relaxed like this since she joined Aether on his journey to find his sister and it has been taking its toll on her. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath and relaxing by folding her arms and laying her head down. The air smelled like sea water, she felt the wind wipe back her hair, she felt calm.
"Relaxing, isn't it." A voice startled Y/n as her eyes shot open and sitting up and looking to her left side.
"Kazuha! Gods, you scared me." Y/n exclaimed seeing said male beside her.
"Apologies, I didn't mean to frighten you." Kazuha said red eyes saddened.
"It's okay. I guess I was just a bit... relaxed and I was caught off guard." Y/n mumbled.
"I see. You seemed to be deep in thought as well." Kazuha said.
"Oh! I was. I mean I was just thinking about how long it's been since I traveled on a ship." Y/n said.
"I'm guessing back in your world?" Kazuha asked.
"Yeah," Y/n smiled nodding. "I was also thinking about what it's going to be like when we get to Inazuma." Y/n said.
"Not good. So be wary." Kazuha said.
Y/n looked at Kazuha's face, he seemed worried for her safety since Inazuma was on lockdown and the Vision Hunt Decree was in full affect. Even before Kazuha fled Inazuma.
Y/n smiled, place a hand on Kazuha's shoulder. "Don't worry, Kazuha. I'll be just fine. Besides I can protect myself and I'll have Aether by my side." She said.
Kazuha smiled as he saw he was worried over nothing. "I suppose you're right. Apologies for worrying." He said.
"Eh," Y/n shrugged her shoulders. "It's fine both my friends from Mondstadt and Liyue worry too much about me already so I'm used to it." Y/n said.
Kazuha chuckled. "Y/n, you are quite the character. I'm lucky to have met you." He said.
"Same to you, you're a very interesting person." Y/n chuckled.
A silence between the two was accompanied by the sound of the ship cutting through the water.
"The sound of the water is calming, isn't it." Y/n said to Kazuha.
"It truly is." Kazuha replied back.
"Hey, Kazuha?" Y/n asked.
"Yes, what is it?" He answered.
"I was wondering if you think you will ever return to Inazuma. I mean you are a fugitive, right. But, you ran because of the Vision Hunt Decree after your friend was killed by Raiden Shogun." Y/n questioned.
"I want to return to Inazuma, just... not right now." Kazuha said.
"I see," Y/n sighed out but her eyes flashed a bit of anger. "The Vision Hunt Decree makes me sick. You can't take people's visions just because of your ideals."
Kazuha smiled. "Would you do anything to make it non-existent?" He asked.
"Of course!" Y/n exclaimed. "Anyways, about your friend. What kind of vision did he have?" Y/n asked.
She was a bit curious. I mean everyone would be since he still had his friend's vision in his possession.
"It was an Electro Vision." Kazuha said.
"Ugh, that makes it worse! She killed a person she blessed with an Electro Vision! How dare! That's like killing your own child." Y/n said.
"That's a bit of an exaggeration." Kazuha said.
"Maybe." Y/n mumbled.
"Y/n, you don't have vision do you?" Kazuha asked.
Y/n sighed. "Sadly no." She said.
"Well, what vision do you think you'd get. I mean if you don't mind me asking." Kazuha said.
"Oh!" Y/n exclaimed as she smiled her eyes shimmered with excitement as she continued. "I'll have a v/t!"
Kazuha tilted his head a bit. "Surprising, how come?" He asked.
"How come? Don't you think it matches my soul!" Y/n exclaimed.
Kazuha laughed at her, he wasn't really expecting that answer. And oddly he agreed with her. She really has the personality of person to have a V/t.
"Quit with the laughing! I meant what I said." Y/n said punching his shoulder gently.
"Apologies, I just wasn't expecting that answer. But to be honest, it's just like you." Kazuha said.
Y/n flushed pink. "Yeah, whatever."
"But you know on this journey I'm taking with Aether, I'll probably get to meet the G/n. Which excites me a little but, eh I've met Gods in my spare time anyway." Y/n said shrugging her shoulders.
Y/n shifted her gaze to Kazuha's back, spotted his vision, just chilling. She smiled seeing that it was an Ameno vision.
"I see you've been blessed by the Ameno God, Barbatos." Y/n said with a smile.
"Yes. You said you've met this said God," Kazuha said as she smiled at her. "What's Barbatos like?" He asked.
Y/n chuckled. "You're kidding right. Okay, you've been warned. He's short and he's a drunk. Doesn't take anything seriously and yet he's very talented on the lyre." Y/n said thinking about Venti also know as Barbatos.
Kazuha chuckled. "How interesting. He sounds like quite the character." Kazuha said.
"Ha, yeah right. He's a pain in my ass." Y/n said. 'Lazy Bard.' Y/n thought.
Kazuha smiled when he took out his friend's vision, he frowned when looking at it then his eyes widened then looked at Y/n.
"Hey, Kazuha. You said you going to try and figure out how to rekindle your friend's vision, yeah?" Y/n asked him.
"Yes, at least that's what I planned anyway." Kazuha said.
"You figure that out, that would be amazing." Y/n said with a smile as she looked back at the ocean.
"Y/n, can I ask you a favor?" Kazuha asked her.
"Yeah, sure, what is it?" Y/n answered.
"Take this with you," Kazuha said hold out his friend's vision to her. "Maybe you'll be able to rekindle it." He said.
"Kazuha... it's tempting but I can't. It's not my vision to take." Y/n said.
"Please take it with you, see if it will rekindle if you were in a trouble or under pressure." Kazuha said desperately.
"I can't. I'm sorry, but I'm determined to get my own vision. I want to get one just like how other people I know got it. Like my friend, Razor. He's someone I met from Mondstadt, he told me bits and pieces of how he got his vision but he doesn't like to talk about it all that much. He told me it's one of the few memories he'd like to forget. I never asked why so I don't know why." Y/n explained.
"I see. I understand, I'll respect your wishes." Kazuha said.
Y/n leaned onto him being taller than the shorter male. Her cheek resting on top of his head.
"I'm sorry I can't help you, Kazuha. But I want to get my vision my way and to be fair, it doesn't feel right to me to have your friend's vision even if you gave me permission." Y/n said.
Kazuha felt the heat on his cheeks from the embrace from Y/n. Y/n let go of him but stayed close to his side.
"When I'm in Inazuma, I'll keep you in mind, Kazuha. I hope to see you again after this." Y/n said with a smile.
Kazuha's face flushed, it being very visible on his pale features.
"As to you, Y/n." Kazuha smiled softly at her, his eyes half-lid at he looked her.
#genshin fanfic#genshin fandom#genshin x reader#genshin impact#genshin x female reader#genshin kazuha#genshin kaedahara kazuha#kaedahara kazuha#kazuha x female reader#kazuha x reader#genshin fluff#x fem!reader#x female reader
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I'm getting around to responding to comments on my ao3 and holy shit.
Somebody pointed out how they loved that not all my descriptors are pretty. That, when something awful is happening, I do write disgusting. That, and this was for a scene where Steve is crying, he gags and chokes and gasps for air because the tears are coming so hard.
Like, yes! Finally! Somebody understands!
And, I gotta be honest here, I don't always enjoy writing fluffy, pretty things. I adore writing horrid, disgusting, twisted things. Things that spark an emotional movement or make the reader have to sit with my words for a moment. Or the reader has to walk away and come back.
I once got a comment where—for a fic where Steve loses his mom—they literally had to stop reading several times through the chapter (not the whole fic, just this one chapter) and call their mother. Just to check in and tell her how much they love her.
Yes! Have a visceral reaction to my writing! Hate me, call me evil, tell me that I broke your heart over and over and over again. I live for that shit. Tell me that my soft, tooth-rotting fluff scenes are moving you so emotionally because you seek that romance for yourself. Tell me that the soft writing makes your chest pulse and your stomach hurt with joy and pleasure and unbearable sweetness. It tells me, based on how strong your reaction is, that my writing is doing its job.
That I'm doing my job.
And writers, don't be afraid to write that fucked up thing you wanna write. Make your characters sick, kill your main character, make them grieve, coat them in blood, make them scream and gasp and gag and sob until all they can do is pass out from exhaustion. Make your characters human.
Anyway. Just—Ugh! I love comments; I love praise and kudos, but I love when people comment about what aspects of my writing they enjoy. I also adore when they quote a passage back at me and tell me that it stuck to them. Like, yes, my writing has altered your brain and lives with you forever. That's what I want. That's what I'm hoping for.
Okay, going back to my writing cave, thinking about how I'll continue some of my WIPs and prepare myself for the next steddielovemonth prompt. <3
#fanfiction#steddie#fanfic author#I love comments#I love hearing your thoughts#I love hearing how much you hate me based on how strong your reaction is#like fuck yeah#I'm fucking up your night so bad and I'm also soothing your soul in the morning#I platonically kiss the foreheads of everybody who ever comments on my works just so you know or like reblogs or whatever
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Chapter 8
Akira: (He was a person…a living person that you killed-and you’re making fun of him like this…)
Akira: (How far? How far do you have to go until you are satisfied?!)
The leader of the gang looked up at Cain with contempt, and began to speak with a conniving tone.
Leader-like Man: How about you untie us, promise to never come near any of us again, and maybe then I’ll be able to remember a little more.
Cain: Promise?
Leader-like Man: Aren’t you guys wizards? Only old farts and wizards care ‘bout antiquated stuff like demons and curses.
Leader-like Man: I heard that you guys lose your magic if you break a promise. So….
Bradley: …Ha. That’s enough outta you.
(Sound of a gun cocking.)
Bradley gave an annoyed sigh as he spoke, before pointing the muzzle of his gun directly at the leader’s head.
The men fell deathly silent as he did so, the North wizard’s equally fed up gaze boring down on them.
Bradley: Listenin’ to ya prattle on like that makes me sick. Sure, my group of bandits were worthless bastards too, but they’d never stoop t’ yer level.
Bradley: Hell, if they did, I’d kill ‘em myself. I really fuckin’ hate guys like you.
Men: ….!
Bradley: I’ll tell ya this here an’ now; learnin’ its name ain’t the only way of liftin’ that spirit’s curse.
Bradley: There’s a much easier way; killin’ the reason it exists. An’ just who d’ya think that might be?
Leader-like Man: ….! Y-you…is that…a threat….
Bradley: I dunno. Is it?
Bradley laughed, as wild as his beastly aura. Clouds drifted in front of the moon, cutting off the eerie light we were bathed in, casting us into shadow.
Bradley: Sage, look the other way, will ya?
Akira: Huh….
Bradley: Brains flyin’ around look like porridge. I don’t wanna be responsible for ruinin’ yer breakfast tomorrow.
Bradley’s frivolous line was probably an attempt at comfort, but instead it unsettled me even further.
Because I knew the reality of what was happening; what this had turned into.
This wasn’t an interrogation.
(Sound of a gun being readied.)
Bradley thrust the barrel of his gun into the side of the man’s head, who was positively shaking in fear.
Cain: ….tch.
Cain, in one instant, was clearly holding back, biting his lip.
And in the next-
(Sound of a sword swing.)
Cain: Bradley. That’s enough.
Cain’s sword had changed targets. Bradley, meanwhile, just raised an eyebrow at the sight of the blade hovering in front of him.
Bradley: …..Do ya know what the hell you’re doing, punk?
Cain: Yes, I know exactly what I’m doing. Lower your gun, Bradley.
Cain: I’m handin’ them over to the law.
Young Man: ….!
Cain: Believe me, I understand. I really do. These guys are absolute worst, most disgustin’ pieces of shit I’ve ever fuckin’ met. But…
Cain: It’s because of that I can’t just let them get executed here. Everyone should know what they did.
Cain: And besides..if we just kill these guys here and now, that boy will remain being a spirit.
Cain: He was mudered by these fuckers. The very least I could do is to return him to the person he once was.
Bradley: Ha! So this is how Sir Knight does things, huh? The “proper way?”
Bradley gave a sharp laugh.
The barrel of his gun remained in place, digging into the man’s skull. The leader, who had been so cocky before, was now shaking and crying like a baby.
Bradley: Then I’ll show you th’ right way a bandit leader does it.
Bradley: One by one, I’ll blow their fuckin’ heads off, an our curse will be gone.
Bradley: Four bullets an’ its done. Smart, right?
Bradley spread his free hand wide like a performer on stage, and then placed his finger on the trigger of the gun.
Cain: Stop!!
(Sound of magic being used, then the sound of their gun and sword. Metal is clashing repeatedly.)
A sound of a gunshot echoed through the air, accompanied by the violent crash of metal on metal. Over and over again it resounded, and I instinctively closed my eyes when a menacing spark of light grew into a blaze.
And then-
Bradley: ….Ugh, you-you lil shit!!
Startled, I opened my eyes. Bradley’s bullets almost sparkled in the night, leaving behind an afterglow of greenish light as they arced through the sky.
Cain was breathing heavily, having deflected the gun barrel with his sword.
(The shriek of a monster echoes in the night.)
In the distance, I heard a horrid cry that child me to the bone.
The wandering spirit had noticed them.
Bradley: You fuckin’ overdid it, brat!
Cain: Look who’s talkin’!!
(Sound of a fierce gale tearing through the forest.)
The wind howled like a roiling beast as the moonlight fought against the ever encroaching darkness. They clashed and overtook each other at dizzying speed, their colors painting the sky.
Those of the noble dawn, those of the ominous night; they opposed each other, glaring, unrelenting.
(Sound of a gun barrel being cocked.)
Bradley’s gun was pointed directly at Cain’s forehead.
Akira: ….!
Bradley: I should blow yer head off with theirs.
Bradley: It don’t matter if we hold off usin’ magic anymore; the thing’s already noticed us.
Bradley: If it’s usin’ magic, I’m way stronger than you. Stand back if you don’t wanna die, kid!
Cain: I will not!
Cain: Even if I get killed for it, I won’t yield for the truth I believe in.
Cain: I am a knight.
Even as Bradley’s gun now pressed against his own forehead, Cain did not falter a single step.
The light his sword gave off in the moonlight shone pure and white, unblemished by the shadows around it.
(Sound of a trigger creaking.)
The deep, everlasting darkness fell upon us next, as Bradley’s finger twitched on the trigger of his gun.
Akira: Please…please stop, both of you! Please calm down-
Young Man: –Leonard! It’s Leonard!
The pair who had been staring each other down both turned to face the young man at the same time.
I too, turned my head in surprise.
The timid, frail-looking boy, now had the will to fight to the death blazing in his eyes. His shoulders shook as he breathed heavily from his outburst.
The clouds parted, the moonlight shone down; brilliant and dazzling bright.
Young Man: The boy-the boy those men killed, the one who wanted to be a knight!
Young Man: I was traveling together with him….my older brother Leonard!
Cain: …Wait, travelling together? Then, that means…
Bradley: There were two missin’ persons. But only one of them was killed.
Akira: (So that was what he was trying to tell us last time…the truth of the missing persons case..)
Unkempt Man: You-how dare you betray us!!
Young Man: Betrayal?! How could you call it betrayal?!
The young man shouted out loud, as fiery tears ran from his eyes that could no longer see.
Young Man: You killed him-you killed my older brother! Then you figured that pathetic little kid left behind was ‘useful’, and did this to my eyes!!
Young Man: If I could’ve seen properly, I would’ve run to the knights a long time ago!! But I …..I…..
Finally his tears ceased, and the young man looked up in Cain’s direction like he was wishing; like praying to a god.
Young Man: I did think that it was just a coincidence you had the same name…but you really are him. I see you now, Cain, the knight among knights, General of the Order.
Young Man: Whatever it is you decide, I’ll tell you everything.
Young Man: So please, just give us your judgement…..
(Sound of rustling fabric.)
Cain sheathed his sword, softling falling to his knees before the tearful boy.
He then put a gentle hand on the boys back, as if thanking him for his courage.
Cain: ….Yeah. I’ll hand you over to the Order.
Cain: And thanks to your bravery, we’ll be able to save your brother…It’s okay, you’re alright now.
Young Man: …hgk…kay…..Thank…..you…..
Bradley: ….
But at that moment-
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Dragon Tears - Chapter 02
Chapter Two: The Morning After
.
Next morning Áo Bĭng woke up in a strange bed.
It took him a few seconds to remember where he was and what happened.
That his own father had disowned him and kicked him out after learning he was in a relationship with Nézhā.
That Nézhā's (absolutely terrifying) adopted father – who Áo Bĭng had been pretty sure hated his dragon guts – had taken pity and given him a place to stay, had given him a change of clothes, a warm meal and a bed to sleep in.
A bed the dragon prince would have loved to just stay in – it was just so darn warm and soft! – but he was only a guest in this house, so he sighed and got up.
Looking around the room, he now saw that it was themed in blue (which he hadn't noticed in the dark of the night before) and came with its own bathroom, which was neat.
On the nightstand next to his bed, he found a note.
'There are spare clothes in the bathroom, for when you get up. Just like the Pjs, they're mine, since I could tell Nézhā's would be too small for you. When you're ready, go to the dining room, I'll be waiting with breakfast (or lunch).
-Èrláng
PS: I noticed last night, that you're transgender like myself, so here is one of my binders.'
Áo Bĭng wanted to cry.
.
When Áo Bĭng came to the dining room, Èrláng was arguing with someone over the phone.
The clearly heated argument made the dragon prince pause and hide next to the door to listen in.
“… I don't give a rat's arse, that you were having brunch! One missed snack break won't kill you! And it's nothing compared to what the dragon I found at my door last night went through! … Well, you should! Because it just so happened to be Áo Bĭng! You know, your son? Blue mane and eyes, white scales, has spinal issues, struggles with shapeshifting away from water?”
Oh. He was talking to Áo Guāng.
Èrláng continued: “Yes, he's with me. I have yet to determine, if he's actually okay, because last night- what did you just say?!” His tone grew increasingly outraged. “Oh no, no, no, say it again! Say what you just said! Say it! … Oh really? Because when I asked him what he was doing here, he told me you kicked him out! … Did you now? And when was that?”
After getting the answer, Èrláng suddenly roared into the phone: “NINE DAYS!!! YOU LEFT YOUR OWN SON TO HIS OWN DEVICES FOR NINE DAYS?!? HE SPENT NINE DAYS WITHOUT A SHELTER, WITH NO IDEA WHERE HE EVEN WAS?!? WHEN I FOUND HIM, HE WAS STARVING, WEAK AND DESPERATE, AND NOW IT TURNS OUT HE WAS ABANDONED BY HIS FATHER OVER A WEEK EARLIER, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? … NO BUTS! HE COULD HAVE RUN INTO THE BUDDHA KNOWS WHAT!!! YOU USED TO BE SO UPSET OVER ANYTHING HAPPENING TO HIM AND NOW THIS?!? … What do you mean, he's my 'problem' now?! … Why, I ought to! Ugh, you know what, I don't wanna talk to you anymore. You can keep moping in your cold palace and eat your gross, watery cakes, for all I care. But Áo Bĭng is staying with me and that is final. So long, you troublesome old lizard.”
Then a beep, as Èrláng hung up the phone.
“Ugh, this guy!”, he fumed, then turned to the door and sighed: “I know you're there, Dragon Prince. Come in.”
Áo Bĭng hesitated, before entering the dining room.
The room was as fancy as the ones he'd seen so far, but unlike the green living room and the blue bedroom he was sleeping in, this one was all in orange.
Èrláng was waiting at the table, looking completely composed, as if he hadn't just yelled at the Dragon King of the East Sea over the phone.
“Good morning”, he said to Áo Bĭng. “Did you sleep well? I hope my yelling didn't wake you up.”
“No, no, I was already awake”, mumbled the dragon. “An' yeah, I slept well. Thank you for the warm bed and dry clothes.”
“You're welcome. Sit down and have breakfast. It's no seafood, but a broader diet has never harmed any dragon. And I've already eaten, so this is all yours.”
Áo Bĭng smiled timidly and sat down.
It was a rich breakfast indeed, with all kinds of fruits, vegetables, bread, butter, toppings (except cheese), eggs and porridge. Some of these things were treats for Áo Bĭng, as he rarely got to eat them, especially the fruits. So those were the first things he gobbled down, followed by the rest of the food (except for half a sandwich he was too full for in the end).
His host saw this and commented: “Glad to see you have a healthy appetite – oh no, no, no, I'm not making fun of you!”, he added hurriedly, when he saw that Áo Bĭng was embarrassed. “I'm just relieved! After being homeless and starving for nine days, I was worried you'd be sick.”
The prince thought for a moment. “Hmm … I think I'm okay. Physically, that is. Being a sea dragon makes me immune to cold and we can last for several weeks without food, so-”
“So can mortal humans. An adult of average weight can last up to a month without food. That doesn't mean it leaves no damage”, Èrláng interrupted him. “Aside from that, did you have a dizzy spell, when you got up earlier? Sore throat? Runny nose? Are you sure you're well-rested?”
“I'm fine, really!”, the sea dragon insisted.
This was bizarre. He had been so sure, that Èrláng Shén hated him – after all, he clearly didn't approve of him being an item with Nézhā – so why was he so much more concerned about Áo Bĭng's wellbeing than the prince's own father?
“Why do you care so much?”, he demanded to know. “I know you hate that I'm engaged to your son! You didn't even want to meet me until last night! You hate me! And now you're suddenly being so kind to me and asking, if I'm well-rested and healthy? Why?!”
Èrláng frowned and for a few seconds Áo Bĭng feared he had fucked up.
Then the three-eyed god sighed: “Let's go to the living room and I'll explain it to you.”
Reluctantly, Áo Bĭng did as told and followed the other back upstairs.
Once there, Èrláng gestured for him to sit on the couch and sat next to him.
“Alright, Dragon Prince. I want you to listen to me and listen well. While I disliked you, I never genuinely hated you. It's true, I have never been happy about my son dating you. But when he told me it was you he was seeing, I was most worried and suspicious. I thought that, just like your father, you still had a grudge against my Xiăolián¹ – he did kill you after all – and that you wanted to use his feelings for you to get revenge on him.”
“I would never do such a thing!”, protested Áo Bĭng. While he could see, where that suspicion came from, the notion of doing something so insidious sickened him to the core.
“And I'm relieved to hear that. However, I also had this nagging feeling that, once Nézhā had a family on his own, he wouldn't need me anymore.”
He bit his lip; clearly this was something that genuinely troubled and distressed him.
Now knowing what it was like to be disowned by your own family, Áo Bĭng tried to comfort him: “He will always need you, Zhēnjūn. You're his father. He loves you. He asks me for advice on what birthday or father's day gifts to get you, tells me about all the good you do for him, while his sire doesn't even care, if he's alive or dead. I … uh, I kinda envy Nézhā a little bit for having a father, who actually considers his feelings and puts his needs and wishes first. When he talks about the places you two have been to, I can't help but think 'I want that too'. My father makes me stay home and study all day. Aside from Nézhā, the only friends I have are my baby sister and Mùzhā, but I have to write to them in secret and getting permission to visit them is like pulling teeth. Not to sound unfilial or anything-”
“No, no, you're absolutely right to be upset. No one likes being lonely and isolated.”
“Thank you, Zhēnjūn. And then he told me, he was planning to marry me off to some other dragon I don't even know. That's when I told him I'm in love with and engaged to Nézhā.”
“And he disowned you on the spot and threw you out.”
“Yes.”
“… Now, I know this is filthy rich coming from me, but … your father is an arsehole. There is no nicer way of putting it.”
Áo Bĭng frowned at the insult against his father, but couldn't find it in his heart to actually disagree, so he said nothing.
Èrláng placed a hand on his shoulder (he was so warm – were all human-bodied gods this warm?) and gave him a solemn look.
“Áo Bĭng. You need to know, that while I wasn't happy with your relationship either, I still gave Nézhā my approval and blessing to marry you. Can you guess why?”
The dragon shook his head.
“Because once upon a time, I made the terrible mistake of opposing my twin-sister's marriage to a mortal and put my own resentment and anger over her happiness. As a result of my cruel actions, I have lost the person closest to me, my other half and best friend. I will never be able to hold her in my arms again, never be able to apologise and tell her how much I love her. Point is, I vowed to never make such a mistake again. Nézhā … he means the world to me. The thought of hurting him and losing him like I lost Chán'er, I-”
His voice broke and he looked like he was about to cry.
So Áo Bĭng tried to comfort him by patting the hand that was still resting on his shoulder.
Èrláng cleared his throat: “Ahem. Apologies. Where was I?”
“You were explaining, why you gave your blessing to our engagement, despite not being happy about it”, Áo Bĭng supplied.
“Ah. Yes, of course. More than anything, I want my Xiăolián to be happy. And the prospect of having a family with you makes him happy.”
Áo Bĭng bit his lip and took a few deep breaths before answering: “Me too. Just being with him, I feel like I can finally breathe after the suffocation of my father's expectations. He makes me feel freer than I ever felt before. I never want to part with him. So … thank you. Thank you for letting us be together, even if you don't like it. It means a lot to me and I know it means everything to Nézhā.”
“Don't make me regret it.”
“I won't. I swear on my honour as the Third Prince of the East Sea.”
“Good. Because if you break his heart, the way he killed you will seem like a walk in the garden compared to what I will do to you”, the older god threatened.
Áo Bĭng gulped, but reminded himself that – since he had no intention of ever hurting his beloved – he had no reason to be afraid.
“Duly noted”, he said. “But … you still haven't answered my question of why you're being so kind and caring to me. Especially since you apparently considered me some kind of … uh, platonic homewrecker, if that's the term?”
Èrláng frowned. “I'm not so heartless as to turn away an innocent in need, Áo Bĭng. Especially, when it was your own father, who kicked you out for being with my son. Plus, do you have the faintest idea, what bad a state you were in last night? Not only were you starved, sleep-deprived and slightly feverish, you were completely disoriented. You said it yourself, you didn't even know where you were, until I opened the door! Do you even realise, what danger you were in? Like I told your father earlier, you could have run into the Buddha knows what! You would've been easy prey and dragon bits are in extremely high demand on the black market.”
Áo Bĭng couldn't help but let out a whimper and hug himself at hearing this.
He really had had no idea how much danger he'd been in. All he had known was that he was exhausted, hungry, alone and that he had nowhere to go. And he wasn't a particularly good fighter either (a good fighter wouldn't have lost against a seven-year-old, after all, no matter how powerful the child was). If someone had decided to take advantage of his vulnerability, he would have been powerless to do anything against it.
Once that sunk in, the fact, that his father had done this to him, hit him even harder and he burst into tears.
The next thirty minutes were humiliatingly spent by Áo Bĭng with crying and making distressed dragon noises, as a rather helpless looking god attempted to console the inconsolable.
.
“Feeling better?”, Èrláng asked, once Áo Bĭng finally managed to get ahold of himself.
“… No. I just realise that my own dad no longer cares, if I'm alive or dead. Just because I want to tie the knot with someone he hates. I … I don't understand! Why does he hate Nézhā more than he loves me?!” He sniffled.
The older god sighed: “Áo Bĭng … I wish I could say 'I don't know', but unfortunately, I understand your fathers actions. I don't condone them, but I understand his train of thought.”
“Can you explain it to me?”, the dragon pleaded.
The other looked pained, as he answered the younger being's question: “Things like this are complicated. But sometimes resentment never goes away. Especially, since Nézhā not only brutally killed you and one of your father's envoys, he also severely humiliated your father – not purposefully so, but he did. You should have seen the tantrum your father threw, when he found out, that my little lotus had achieved godhood, after being resurrected by his master. In his eyes, the fact that you fell for Nézhā, is probably the ultimate act of betrayal.”
The Third Prince found that a little hard to imagine. “How can you be so sure about that?”
“Because I used to be like that. As I told you earlier.”
Oh right. Áo Bĭng had completely forgotten. Nézhā had told him the tragic story and frankly, it had been one of the saddest Áo Bĭng had ever heard.
“I'm sorry that happened”, he said honestly.
Èrláng smiled lopsidedly (the first thing akin to a smile so far): “Don't be. What happened happened. The only thing I can do is move on and do my best to atone for my screw-up. As for you … well, the only advice I can give you is to live your own life and be happy with Nézhā. Maybe your father will come around, maybe he won't. Or maybe he won't come around until it's too late. Only time will tell.”
“I have time now”, Áo Bĭng answered softly. “My love gave me a peach of immortality as engagement gift.” His heart fluttered with affection for his fiancé. “He really wants to spend eternity with me. I'm so happy, I never want to part with him.”
Now the older god smiled genuinely for the first time. “Good. My Xiăolián deserves nothing less than someone who loves him with just as much dedication as he loves. Now …”, he stood up. “Why don't we go for a walk in the area? The scenery is very nice and while we're walking, you can tell me all about how you got together.”
.
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1) Little Lotus
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my mother's side is hella homophobic and bigoted in other ways, yet we continue to go down there and see them. and I don't really like any of them. Morals aside, they're just assholes who verbally fight and degrade one another. I get enough of that at home, why the fuck do I wanna go someplace just to be like oh, here I am, alive, you know I'm gay in the back of your mind if you'd think on it, but you're in denial and i am not obligated to tell you shit, so we all unhappy. But I;m still your favorite for my all a's and b's for three years straight in college. And your so proud, but they don't do a damn thing other than fake ass words. I hate it, it kills me, I'm the fav. grandchild, and I could so qucikly go down to the most hated int he family with one sentence. "I'm gay." (They don't belive in bisexuality .) 🤕 thx for ugh, the vent space its nice as hell to finally say this to someone. <3 love the blog btw I lurk on it a lot
Anon, I feel for you! It is so hard to be surrounded by people, especially family, who you know do not or will not support you.
Some times they will come around given enough time. But some times they will cut you off and suddenly you're dead to them.
Take what I say with a grain of salt (as someone who came out just to shut myself back in because my parents ridiculed me rather than let me know it was okay.. and now at 27, I've neglected a piece of myself) you deserve to be honest with yourself and to BE yourself, fuck anyone who doesn't support you. Perhaps it would be better to give up the act? Get it out in the open and over with?
Like I said, I am a hypocrite. I wish I could offer more help to you, friend. But you are welcome to anonymously vent any time at all! It is such a relief just to get things off your chest.
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Marshall got me on a fucking hook ffs
DO U REALIZE HOW BAD THIS MAN WOULD HAVE ME WITH HIS FLIRTING??¿??¿?¿¿¿ u know this guy is a DAMN TEASE AND COCKY (with mommy issues)
But i feel like he would confuse you and make u question ur feelings cuz tends to be a jerk sometimes
So i got lil angsty idea
So I just imagen us bashing out what the feelings that been pilling up, his cheeck red cuz u snapped HARD at him after he ketp going even when u told him to quit it
So there u are crying and screaming at him, telling him that he eother means it or not and if he keeo goings like this with you, he might as welp hit the bricks cuz u won't want to hear from him again. He just kinda in a shock state as u tell him all of this
So u stomp away and he breaks his trance and floats to you and tries to stop u from leaving him with the possibility of never seeing you again. Cuz he cares. SO MUCH but he sucks at showing it, often desguising it with his bad boy persona
I just imagen after that he works to become a better man AND partner (i seen the episodes with marceline and princess bubblegum AND ITS THE GREENEST FLAG COUPLE CUZ THEY BOTH SO HONEST AND REALLY WANNA WORK THINGS OUT SO I SAY HE WOULD BE A GOOD BF lil probs there and there but he'll work them for you and him)
Anyway there goes my rant, inspired by one of the oldest episodes when fionna was still a lil new <3333
"he might as welp hit the bricks cuz u won't want to hear from him again" i know it's supposed to be sad but the way this made me CACKLE LMAO. Cus of the 'if it sucks hit da bricks' skeleton meme AMEOLI:NMRIEOMNTDRF:.
BUT ANYWAY lol Flashbacks to that old adventure time episode of Fionna and Cake. Fionna just crying over Marshall pretending to be dying and she yells "FOR ONCE DROP IT YOU FREAK!" And he's just so shocked, "Glob Fionna, you're the realest person I've ever met." And then Fionna just proceeds to emotionally punch him lmao.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HE'S JUST SUCH A GUY <333333. But like no, you're so right he would also absolutely kill me with the flirting at times. Just his voice alone makes me ASCEEEEENNNNDDDDDD. At other times tho I could see myself totally play flirting with him right back. Just depends on my mood I guess.
But yeah, it gets to a point where it's like what are we? And you really wanna address it, but he just ignores cus I guess trying to think about it makes him uncomfortable? Maybe because he feels he wouldn't know how to be a good partner to u due to his own lack of a father (rip genderbent Elise 😔) or father figure. And you keep hinting at it, and even gently asking openly, like seriously, where is this going? But he just keeps changing the subject and pushing the thought away. And one day you've just had enough. You need to know now. You need to know if you can keep letting this go on or if you need to let him go and move on. Because you don't have forever to wait like he does.
So you yell, you cry, you ball your fists to stop yourself from hitting or shoving him. And he freezes up. He doesn't know what to do, what to say, how to make it better and stop your from hurting because of him. He's flustered, confused, and then you turn your back on him. He's absolutely lost, his unbeating heart pulling him in every direction. But he knows he can't lose you. Not like this. He cares for you too much. He really likes you. He... actually loves you. So he follows you. Because he doesn't want you to leave him. He's still silent as he thinks about how to never make you feel this raw again. But the way he stops you and just holds you tells you everything you need to know. He wants this. He just needs your help in figuring out how to do it right 🥺💔.
UGH your brain is so juicy Ane I loved your rant very very much :3 💋💋💋💋
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