#u will never ever feel lonelier than u will sitting quietly in ur room on a friday night

[lonelyplanetfag]

i fucking hste friday nights n also being alive

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket SE02 (ep,9). part 1

You know it’s real when kyo is given monologue right from the beginning! It rarely happens that he’s allowed any!, but when he does, it hits like a wild wave changing everything. The story is never the same after each time he’s given inner-talk. Forever changing the dynamics, the secrets & the relationships. e.g. true form ep.

Kyo’s love confession:

The sweetest, most tender love confession from the character that started the show fighting & screaming! The one that hated himself the most! now loves his name, only cuz she said it! “a special ring to it”. the guy who couldn’t look at her face, will repeat stupid things over “if it made you smile”. “Since when did I started” falling in love with you? the show goes on to show us various moment from as early as ep,4 & throughout seasons & scenes! he doesn’t know! We, the viewers, also don’t know when he started loving her!! we kinda gradually~ normally~ unknowingly~ fell in love with them together. The show opened this heavy ep filled with first-hand experience & steps on how Akito destroyed his victim... ouch! well-played, furuba! well-played.

The location: An empty room, no furniture, small, suffocating. The abuser sits far, then slowly walks towards the prey until there’s no space. But not before causing  physical pain to reassure dominance over the victim.

STEP 1: (The BET).

Kyo in his attempts to fight his destiny has met up with Akito prior to the beginning of the story, to defy him. Akito cleverly traps kyo into a bet manipulating his desire to break away from his fate. you said, YOU can fight your destiny? ok. I’ll let you. If you win against yuki, I’ll let you be free. easy, right? kyo this is your chance to prove yourself to yourself! just practice & win a stupid match. EASY! except it isn’t. The rat is superior to the cat. Your trials are in vain. you’ll NEVER rise up to anything except a failure. Try for three years! so generous of Akito! 36 months! you only need to win once! But you WON’T EVER! planting a toxic seed that eats away the victim’s self-esteem, hope & desire. Give him the chance to believe in himself then CRUSH IT. Once kyo fails, he’ll never believe in himself again. The bet is now cancelled before the third year even begins! one year & a half of failure is enough. You LOST. The Directing was phenomenal! The scene is shot in shades of sickening green, with underwater feel, like kyo is drowning deep in Akito’s abuse. Akito was shown from kyo’s perspective. Distorted, scary & demonic. like a monster..

STEP 2: (the past)

Taunting kyo with selective words that hit exactly were it hurts the most, using affirmative sentences in calm authoritative tone, alluding to facts.“cuz you’re a monster, ur mom is dead” “it was ur fault” “u killed ur mom”. Akito painted kyo’s mom in martyr light. giving birth to a monster, admirably protecting & raising him. Her reward? DEATH due to immense pressure from being WITH him. Extra step: painting kyo as the unforgivable & unappreciative son “ her son didn’t even mourn her” cuz kyo didn’t cry in front of others in her funeral. all these words carved his psyche like daggers extracting buried memories of his dad doing like Akito. YOU caused ur mom grief. the memory is now crystal clear. His mom walking slowly with open arms towards death. Giving kyo her back knowing he’s there. choosing to abandon & leave him. cuz it is HIM that is too much to bear. it is HIM that she’s escaping from.

STEP 3: (the present)

“you should’ve died”, “if you didn’t exist EVERYONE would be happy” This everyone in particular destroyed kyo way more than Akito ever planned for. Everyone includes the present. Everyone includes ppl who aren’t sohma-related. Everyone includes a happy mother & daughter. Everyone includes kyoko & tohru. It is NOW that kyo crashes, falls, loses & bends. Kyoko is the nail in his coffin. Akito lets go of kyo’s hand. Mission accomplished.

-Miscalculation in Akito’s plan: (tohru)

Akito unwittingly ruins her plan by mentioning tohru. her triumphant smile disappears & her authoritative powerful voice turns into childish screams to silence kyo, pathetically covering her ears. This drastic shift in power resulted only by mentioning tohru. Realizing that tohru was used as tool for whatever reason gave kyo strength to stand up & defend her. how dare you call her a monster? how dare you call her an angel? NO. she is but a human. A kind soul. That stayed WITH me regardless of all my ugliness inside & outside. WHY? who does that? Who gives & never takes? the foolish traveler.

The foolish traveler’s role in liberating & confiding kyo:

In momiji’s story, the foolish traveler gives the monster her life & dies. Tohru gave kyo her presence. She did NOT heal him or fade the ugliness away. NO. She didn’t treat his trauma. NO. she doesn’t even know abt his mom’s suicide!! she ONLY gave him her presence. She stayed with the monster. WHY? cuz she is a foolish person filled with kindness not wanting anything in return. But what happened to the the foolish traveler at the end of momiji’s story? she died. again DEATH surrounds kyo. If this foolish traveler stays with him death awaits her. History has proven kyo’s company lethal. the cat has cursed his most beloved ppl into death & harm. his dad, mom, kyoko. This story made kyo realize his romantic love to tohru & tragically made him understand the possible sad ending.

Akito’s Rebound:

Akito sizes the chance, strikes back & regains power. Like a hungry monster smelling fear! “ do u think u have the right to fall in love with someone?” “do u think you’re allowed?” Kyoko, reinforcing Akito’s words.”I won’t forgive you”. you, the monster knows love?? “who’s the real villain” you, the killer! “who’s the one who involved her the most” You, the most cursed! “it’s best if you are gone”.” I KNOW!” ,kyo said.

The fighter gives up:

“it was me”. every negative thought kyo has is reinforced by a past experience from someone in his life. Akito blackmails kyo into accepting his confinement in exchange of NOT harming tohru. It is becuz kyo finally loved someone enough to want to EXIST in this word that he finally stops fighting. He fought for years for himself. Now, he’ll give up for another person. Tohru’s love liberated him from hating himself enough to die or take his hatred on someone else, but, her love also imprisoned him into thinking he’ll never be worthy for her. His first thought upon seeing her is “ I want to be with u forever” but once again “ kyoko shows up reminding him” i wont forgive you” How can kyo wish to be with her? his entire trauma is against it. does he has the guts to rip tohru��s smile once he confess abt the past? What does he expect tohru to say once she knows? How would tohru react? he’ll scar her forever more than she’s already scarred. Those scars that she hides oh so well from others will become tragically apparent once he confess. So, No, kyo. Spare her the pain. who are you anyway? a mere monster that everyone will be happy if you disappeared” “why didn’t my mom kill me?” “she should’ve killed me” If she did.. then tohru would’ve been happy with her mom. “Why am I still alive?”

Kyo’s precious flower:

love is against logic. Logic says stay away from tohru & spare her ur unworthy existence. Love says look for her! love makes you run to her! love makes you want to see her first thing after getting out of the that room. love says cherish her, be around, stay with her. Love says she needs you! yes, the unworthy monster has been loved before! way before tohru!. Kazuma flashes in his mind & brings hope, Kyoko, flashes with a kind smile, teasing him, I see different hair styles, maybe repeatedly meeting kyo, love reminded kyo of the friend-kyoko! who recognized his loneliness, patted his head, reached out to him, she told him abt the tiny flower, showed him her most precious treasure. These ppl treated him as a human! NOT a monster, kazuma, kyoko & tohru, love opened his eyes to see the light amidst the darkness, the warmth of the sunset after the depth of suffocation. He won’t give up on life. NO, he wants to LIVE, to LOVE & to give back! he now knows that his existence isn’t completely worthless! he was there for tohru. he has already given her back time after time since they’ve met, he knows that! he made her smile, he saw her! the real her! tiny, foolish & oh so precious!  By the time he reached her he was able to genuinely smile from his heart! yes, he can smile cuz she’s with him now. He doesn’t care anymore abt the disgusting sohma & their curse. He only cares abt her. he won’t trample his precious flower, “ i once hoped to be always together, far away” to “ make you my own” But NO. he can’t hurt her with the painful memories, he’ll treat her with utmost respect, care & love until its time to say goodbye. quietly exiting from her life. As long as she’s not harmed. As long as her smile stays, so, he’ll stay with her together,” until we’re separated far apart”

[junionigiri]

A a a I'm trash and I love the way u write todochako so uh,ig a cute prompt would be idols! (I love idol aus so much and I love idol ochako even more) I love ur writing so so much!! I hope you have a good day!!

Awww thanks so much beb!!! Thanks so much for your request! This actually helped me reorient myself in a Todochako mood again so I can keep on working on my other fic hehe :)

Urabitii hasn’t felt this nervous for a long time, and ironically it doesn’t happen on stage, where thousands of her fans gather to watch her newest flashy performance. Nor does it happen during in a talk show, where multiple cameras are poised on her face while a TV host asks her a variety of nosy questions about her private life.

“Uraraka-san, are you ready?”

No. It doesn’t happen in public. It doesn’t happen under anyone’s admiring or scrutinizing gazes, not in front of those who really has a say on which direction her career as a pop idol goes.

She nods, swallowing as subtly as she can. “Yes. Anytime, Todoroki-san.”

Todoroki Shouto nods back with a small smile. Without another word, he faces the piano and plays out the opening notes of his new song.

Ochako struggles to count the beats in her head, almost in desperation, as she watches his long fingers fly across the keys with an ease and finesse she hasn’t appreciated on anyone else playing the instrument before. Very mesmerizing, but not as mesmerizing how his eyes look as he plays–focused, calm like ice but somehow holds a fire burning low, the flow of music from within him unstoppable.

She decides ultimately to close her eyes to keep herself focused on his music. She opens her mouth and lets his words out,

Like stars across the twilight, let me burn for you.

The song is less upbeat and more melodic than anything she’s recorded before, the words less cute and more intimate. Less kitschy, as is her trademark. More melancholic, somehow.

She doesn’t know why the former-pop-idol-turned-award-winning-songwriter would write such a song with her in mind. Even Manager Iida was surprised when Todoroki’s management suddenly contacted him and discussed the possibility of a collaboration. But while flustered, both of them decided to jump at the chance, Iida because it isn’t in his nature to turn down an opportunity as this, and Ochako because of the same reasons as Iida…

Like the cold blue of midnight, let me surround you.

… and also because the pop idol Shouto of five years ago is one of her main inspirations, perhaps one of the solid reasons why she’s here in the first place. When she was a nobody in Mie-ken with a guitar, a bad camera phone, and a Youtube account, she sang one of his lesser-known songs (Patchwork Calico, an autobiographical song about isolation according to the fanbook, one that’s a little too heavy for many fans but resonates with her the most). It was early in the morning, the sun rising behind her head and over their tiny front yard, just her voice and her guitar.  

She doesn’t know how it happens, because the lighting is so poor and the sound only just cleaned with her poor sound editing skills, but that gains her a million views in a week and a lot of followers and a lot of expectations that she fulfills somehow. Soon, real offers come in, and she meets the tenacious Iida Tenya, and the rest was history.

Like smoke from the hearth, let me float to you.

And history continues to happen, as the song ends and she opens her eyes and focuses on him.

She doesn’t understand his stare at first. His heterochromatic eyes look turbulent for a few short moments that she wonders are even real. A small smile slowly and undoubtedly makes its way over his mouth, though, forcing her heart into a crazy rhythm that almost hurts her chest.

She takes a deep breath–she doesn’t realize how breathless she is at that point–returns the smile as best as she can. “Is… this okay, Todoroki-san? I feel like I was flat at some parts–”

“No. You’re perfect,” he says easily, infuriatingly so. Ochako feels like dying at that sentence and almost misses his next words. “I think the words could use some work though.”

“You think so?”

He hums, shifts to the side of the bench to give her room to sit. She does so, as coolly as she can, as impossible as it is to keep her blush down.

He doesn’t pay it any mind, if he notices at all. Likely he hasn’t. From the past two sessions of them working on the song, Ochako has learned that when it came to his music, Todoroki tended to shut everything else outside of the sound of his instruments and her voice. She can go there wearing nothing but a potato sack during their sessions and he wouldn’t notice, as long as she sings.

He’s a professional after all. He might have offered the collaboration because he saw a potential in her voice that he wanted to exploit, and nothing else apart from that. The thought keeps Ochako sane, somehow, keeps her from imagining that their time together is anything more than���

“Uraraka-san, how does the song make you feel?”

She blinks thrice. “Oh… me?” she sputters dumbly.

He nods, waits for her answer quietly in a sincere silence while her brain is on the verge of malfunction. Why would he ask, why would he care, what is she gonna say except ahhh it makes me want to melt because it’s you and I really idolize you and here you are making a song for me and–

Now that she thinks about it, she has been singing the words, but not really absorbing what they mean. She taps her fingers together as she rushes to understand the meaning.

“Well… because it’s you, Todoroki-san, performing the song makes me really happy.”

She flinches internally, realizing that she’s using her ‘idol voice,’ a measured cute one reserved for fan meets and TV appearances. Todoroki might have noticed, judging by the way his eyebrows raise.

She bites her lower lip in the next moment, forces some honesty in her words. “It’s… really melancholy, though. The words, and the melody. The songs I write and others write for me are usually about feeling giddy and head-over-heels and this is way different. Probably more genuine than anything I can come up with, and…”

His stare doesn’t go away. She swallows hard, the blush coming on mercilessly. “I don’t know… I feel a little afraid to sing it, to be honest. Like, finding a way to someone’s side that I won’t ever reach. I wonder if I feel what I’m supposed to feel when I sing the song.”

She feels quite stupid admitting it, because the song’s words are vague, quietly poetic. Todoroki probably doesn’t mean to put in the stupid pining she feels when the words come out of her mouth.

Yet, he is oddly captivated as he listens to her rambling. Eyes never leaving her, he says, “So that’s why it sounds different.”

“Different?” She can’t help the nervous giggle that escapes her. “I know, I know, I probably ruined the song, I’m stupid for saying so, and–”

He shakes his head. “It’s not stupid. The song is… different than expected. Your voice made it better, but the words are mine. I don’t think it does justice to what you can do for the melody.”

“Oh,” is all Ochako can say, without blubbering herself into oblivion. Trying to recover, she says, “You don’t mean that, Todoroki-san! I mean, I’m just another pop idol, my range isn’t that magical, and–”

He seems amused by her expression. “Uraraka-san, do you know why I asked to collaborate with you?”

She stops mid-ramble to stare at him dumbly.

It seems to take him a few moments to gather his thoughts. She’s worried about the turbulence that appears briefly in his mismatched eyes, floored by the tenderness that comes after. It’s hard reading Todoroki Shouto. She always feels like she’s on the verge of cardiac arrest when she looks into his eyes and tries to figure out what he’s feeling any given moment.

“I… saw it. Listened to it, I mean,” he tells her with an odd sincerity. “When you sang Patchwork Calico on Youtube.”

Oh. If her face was warm before, now it’s hot, her blood searing lava through her capillaries. She squeaks indignantly and hides her face in her hands. “Oh my god this is embarrassing, you of all people should not have seen that–”

The sound of a low chuckle disarms her momentarily. “Please don’t be embarrassed. I enjoyed it.” She feels a cold hand over her arm, making her look up at his eyes, suddenly so close to hers she sees the amused gleam of sapphire and onyx at a blinding frequency. “I loved it, in fact. I didn’t think my song could sound like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like… a sunrise.” She makes it obvious that she doesn’t understand, and again he chuckles. “It’s not only because you sang it as the sun rose. I mean… “

He exhales, as if deciding how much to say. In that moment, Ochako tries to remember the words to Patchwork Calico, the feelings of loneliness, of brokenness. Of scars that won’t heal.

She wonders why the song resonates with her so much, because it really is heavy. She doesn’t think that she has any of Todoroki’s struggles when he wrote the song. But like many kids she has had to deal with loneliness, of fear because of how unstable her family was then, of a broken heart when the boy she has loved for years never loved her back.

Still, she’s surrounded by love. Her parents love her, her friends love her. And she thinks she knows how to love back. She thinks of them when she feels tired and broken. She thinks of them many times when she’s on stage and offers her voice to the crowd.

Finally, Todoroki speaks up, utterly surprising her. “… it sounds hopeful? That there’s something beyond the isolation.”

His eyes are on hers again, unwavering. “I never thought that anything I wrote could sound like that. It’s… captivating.” One hand goes to the piano, playing out the notes to his song again, somehow sounding different this time. “I… wanted to see if you could do that again.”

“That…”

He smiles softly. “Change the music.”

In the way that only you can. She inhales, suddenly breathless once again.

“All right,” she says, returning the small smile. “I’ll do my best, Todoroki-san.”

They speak in low, intimate tones. Pen scratches along paper, hands press on the keys in broken melodies. Ochako sings his notes and her notes in an honest way she’s never tried before. She knows she doesn’t imagine the captivated look in Todoroki’s eyes as she does, and it makes her heart go into overdrive.

They compose the song successfully, and release it days later, filmed from the intimate setting of Todoroki’s home studio. Her honesty gains her some fans, and her melancholy makes her lose some, but it’s certainly a memorable performance that has people talking for weeks after that.

Needless to say, it isn’t the last collaboration between the pop idol and the songwriter. 

[thedreadgay]

just for today

series: old soldiers, old love word count: 735 author’s notes: GOD i had this sitting like 80% finished for like a year. anyway here she is now. a lead up to a big multichapter fic i have planned, and a followup of sorts to left behind but u don’t like GOTTA read it. takes place in the reflections comic! enjoy!!

EDIT: wrote this before jack was revealed to be gay lol im going to be reworking all my shit for this series so it’s anareaper76 polyam V instead. im not super into ovw rn so i’ve been slow, but i will do it!!! thanks for ur patience!

Ana grimaced out at the baking sand. They were safe for the moment—Jack blew her stakeout, damn him, but Talon would be scurrying to the shadows to lick their wounds. It would be a little while until their fingers reached into Cairo again, but only a little. Nothing ever truly sleeps.

At least it bought them time, and respite, both for the people here and for her. But with a lull came empty silence, taunting them with words gone unsaid.

Ana glanced over at Jack. It hadn’t been very long since they found each other again—and since Gabriel found them. Between fleeing the scene of the busted operation, finding refuge, and swapping intel, there hadn’t been time to truly talk... until now.

Six years apart; six years of presumed dead and wondering where it all went wrong. Sometimes, in her dreary haze, Ana had dreamed of reuniting with the men she loved. It would play like a silent film, distant and unreal, an indulgence that proved more cruel in the end. Here's your fool fantasy, she thought bitterly: Gabriel tried to kill them, and Ana and Jack were sitting on opposite ends of a bare-bones room, pointedly trying to ignore their ghosts and the date.

That morning, December 25th lighting up her holopad had been a punch in the gut. Neither she nor Jack celebrated Christmas in their own right, but it had a special place. Others in their family loved it, and loved to share it; and a day of gift giving and cuddling in ugly sweaters wasn’t so bad.

Gabriel loved Christmas, she thought.

Ana sighed quietly, and shifted, painfully aware of the loneliness in the room. Being by herself, she could handle. Being with Jack, with so much to say that the words wouldn’t come, was unbearable.

“Disengage, Ana!” She remembered Jack’s voice over her comm like it was yesterday. “That’s an or—“

She hadn’t allowed him his last words to her, before rushing to greet her death. The echo of it hung heavy between them.

Jack sighed too, and rubbed his face tiredly. He was still gazing at that photograph, on print, between his fingers; what it was, Ana could only guess.

She cracked open her dry mouth, and then closed it again. Trying to shape anything between them further than strategy was like gazing at rubble, pieces of something splintered unrecognizably. Jack must have been just as lost, otherwise he wouldn’t be so quiet. He had never been particularly quiet. But then again, neither had she. A humourless smile flitted across her lips—how empty they’ve become. She wondered if Gabriel felt the same.

The atmosphere was so utterly crushing, she almost wanted to leave the room, even if it was only a temporary escape of inevitable discomfort. But... Jack was here. Jack was here—and she had been alone for so long. She guessed from the lines on his face that he’d been lonely, too. Her old heart ached, because oh, she loved him. She loved them both.

Jack glanced up at her, and Ana realized she had been staring. For a moment, blue eyes held brown—longing, and apprehensive, and Ana didn't have to wonder if Jack still loved them too. Part of her wanted to scoff; why wallow and pine when they could do something about it? She could march over there right now and hold him, kiss him.

But it was so much, so soon. Their history was long, their lives together in shambles, and so they remained in uneasy liminity; neither daring to speak nor move.

Ana took a breath. In an act of bravery—or cowardice—she stood. Jack’s eyes didn't leave her face, nervous and questioning.

“Maintenance,” she murmured, grabbing her rifle and kit. Truly, her rifle hardly needed any attention at the moment, but anything was better than this feeling like suffocation.

Jack looked like he could sag in relief. “Good idea.”

He folded his photo away as she did her memories. She opened her kit while Jack fetched his own gear, and narrowed her focus. For now, they could fill the void between them with the smell of grease, and busy unsure hands with steel. Maybe they could stave off the many, many conversations to be had, without the isolation that had been eating away at them. At least for today, Ana thought—just to get through today.

[anderslarsson-blog1]

Mason & Anders | Chatzy 1

Mason: Mason returned from the kitchen with two beers in hand, grinning at Anders as she handed him one of them and settled beside him on the couch. Ever since he'd had her over when shit was going down with her dad, Mase found herself falling for Anders harder and harder. She couldn't help herself - he was everything that she wanted and more, but she wasn't dumb. She was aware that he was still messing around with other girls, but she liked to pretend that they didn't exist and that she was the only one that he truly cared about in that manner. His phone was in between them, and Mase couldn't help glancing down at it before returning her gaze to the tv, an incredulous laugh leaving her lips as she shook her head. Instead of commenting, Mason took a long swig from her beer bottle, trying to shake the feeling that the gist of the text gave her.

Anders: Anders grinned as Mason took a seat next to him on the couch and handed him a beer. "Thanks babe," he cooed, pulling her close and giving her a small kiss. As soon as she was settled, his iPhone vibrated angrily, signaling that several texts were coming in in quick succession a few inches away from them. Shifting his weight, Anders grabbed the phone and brought it closer to his face, already recognizing a few key phrases that meant there may also be some naked photos coming.

Hot girl with big tits: baby, I miss u :((((( Hot girl with big tits: i want to suck your cock ;)))) Hot girl with big tits: send me ur nudes, ill send u mine!!! Hot girl with big tits: [nude photos]

Smirking, Ders responded with his own string of messages, not even bothering to hold the phone out of view from Mason. What the hell did she care? She knew he was fucking other girls, and he knew she was fucking other people too.

Anders: Awww, you miss me, huh? 😉 Anders: Prove it. Send me more nudes.

Mase: Mason could've smashed her beer bottle against the wall if she wasn't better at controlling her anger. His responses only pissed her off more, taking another few gulps of her beer to distract herself. Sure, she was still fucking other people, but she didn't openly sext those other people in front of Anders. "Hm, you should cut that shit out. That sad girl might actually think she's the only girl you're putting your dick in." Mase murmured, bringing the bottle to her lips once more, not bothering to look at Anders. If she did, she knew she would've started going off. "Probably makes her feel special because she's fucking a star athlete." Mason retorted with a bitter laugh. "Poor thing."

Anders: Anders snorted, still not taking his eyes off his phone. “Please. She’s gotten around with athletes in Boston plenty. I’m pretty sure I became eskimo bros with half the team after I screwed her the first time. Sure, she’d quit fucking around for a rock on her left hand, but she’s not deluded, if she hasn’t gotten it by now....” Ders trailed off, rolling his eyes and snorting again as if to suggest the girl in question was an old maid at 28. After a moment or two of silence, he removed his eyes from the topless mirror selfie plastered across his phone screen and glanced at Mason for a moment. As best as she was trying to hide it, he could tell she was annoyed. “What?” he asked, throwing up a hand a shrugging his shoulders innocently. “Why do you even care, by the way? You jealous I’m fucking a girl with double Ds?” he smirked, giving her a wink. “There’s plenty to go around, Mase. I’m sure she’d fuck you too.”

Mase: Mason rolled her eyes as he described the girl, not even knowing who she was and already starting to hate her for having Anders so captivated. She clearly saw the nude photo plastered on his screen, and she was beginning to feel extremely self conscious. Mase looked nothing like that girl, and she probably never would. 'That's obviously his type.' She thought to herself. 'Why would he ever see me as hotter than her?' Mason slammed her bottle down on the coffee table and got up from the couch, knowing if she sat next to him any longer, she'd explode. "Fuck you, Anders." She said through clenched teeth, stomping into the kitchen and rummaging around until she found the bottle she was looking for, unscrewing the cap and taking a shot of vodka straight from the bottle. "Fuckin' asshole." She muttered to herself, fighting the stinging sensation in her eyes, knowing she couldn't cry over this with him over. "Why don't you go over to her place, huh? Let her suck you and the rest of your team off so you don't have to sit on my couch and watch The Office all goddamn night. Seriously. Go."

Anders: Anders jumped as Mason slammed her bottle on the table, completely taken aback as she began swearing at him for seemingly no reason at all. It was just a joke. Clearly she knew that, right? He’d teased her about liking girls before, why was this time any different? “Jesus Christ, Mase!” he yelled back, standing and following her to the kitchen. “It was a joke! What the hell is your problem?!” he added angrily, ripping the bottle of vodka out of her hand and holding it out of her reach. “Because I vastly prefer a human being that has a personality and a brain?” Anders replied, contorting his face in a way that implied her question was extremely stupid. Pausing for a moment, Anders shook his head and exhaled to let off a little steam. Yelling wasn’t helping anything and he wasn’t even completely sure why he was getting mad. “Why do you care so much?” he said quietly after a few moments. “You don’t want to see naked photos? Fine. You’ve never complained when I’ve sent you nudes, but whatever, I guess. No more nudes.”

Mase: "My problem is you're sitting here staring at this girl's tits like she's just a piece of fucking meat, dude! That shit's irritating!" Mason yelled, thankful that she was able to think of a reason fast enough to cover the real reason why it upset her. When he snatched the bottle out of her hands, she groaned. He had a clear height advantage over her, so she was done drinking straight out of the bottle for a while. "Or because I've been consistently giving you pussy for months without fawning over what's in your fucking bank account." Mase retorted, crossing her arms across her chest. She bit her tongue to hold back the scream of frustration in her throat, knowing that even now her neighbors were probably even more upset with her and the frequent noise these two made. "How fucking dense could you be, Anders? I'm not pissed about the nudes, I'm pissed at how many girls you have at your beck and call literally all the goddamn time. And you can't even throw the fact that I fuck other people in my face because I don't openly stare at their tits with you sitting right next to me. I have a little bit of fucking decency."

Anders: “Well fine, I’m fucking sorry!” Anders yelled back, letting out an irritated groan and throwing the bottle down in the sink in front of him, thankfully not breaking it. He still couldn’t really understand why Mason was so mad at him. They weren’t exclusive, and as far as he knew, neither of them wanted to be, so why did Mase care whether he was looking at other girls’ nudes? She could have pulled out dick pics and he wouldn't have remotely given a shit. “Oh, yeah, that’s the entire fucking reason I’ve kept you around! It’s the reason why I pretty much hang out with you at least once a day, take you out on dates and sit here with take out and watch the fucking Office with you. All because you don’t say anything about how much money I make!” Anders screamed sarcastically, his blood boiling particularly hot at that comment. How could she not understand how much she meant to him? She was nothing short of his best friend. He loved her deeply, in so many ways, for so many reasons and this was what she reduced their relationship to? “I can have as many girls talking to me as I want to,” he seethed, moving closer to Mason. “And you have absolutely no grounds for an opinion on them either way because it’s none of your concern,” Ders added, gritting his teeth as he stood over her. Feeling his emotions building up more and more each second since the beginning of their conversation, Anders wasn’t surprised when he took his own empty beer bottle off the counter when it had been situated and threw it across the room, shattering it into a million pieces as he pounded his own fist into the counter. “Fine, I’ll give you my phone every time I walk in your door just for safe keeping since I apparently can’t control myself,” he spat. “Fuck. You. Mase.”

Mase: "You always said I had a pretty pussy." Mason commented sarcastically, crossing her arms across her chest stubbornly. To him, she must've seemed upset for literally no reason, but she just couldn't tell him how she actually felt. This was Anders - her best friend and the person who happened to be holding onto her heart with a vice-like grip without even knowing it. She stood her ground as he approached her, not even bothering to crane her neck up to look at him, keeping her gaze on the bottle in the sink. "Yeah, I can't police every single girl that wants to throw it back for you. You're not an idiot, it's not like you're gonna turn 'em away." The brunette grumbled, finally looking up at him to raise a brow as a challenge. She jumped when he threw the bottle across the room, watching as it shattered against the wall and scattered across the floor. "You know what? Fuck you, Anders! You're such a goddamn asshole, I don't even know how I put up with you!" Mason yelled, giving him a shove. "You're the biggest fucking child I know, you need to grow the fuck up sometime."

Anders: Tears filled the corners of Anders’ eyes as Mason screamed back at him, his anger, hurt, sadness and loneliness all mixing together as one to form a toxic cocktail of emotions all fighting to spill out at once. All Anders wanted to do was hit something, break something else, go on a rampage. If he was at home he might have done it too, but the small remaining ounces of sense left in him reminded him that that it would not only be shitty to do so, but also might be something that scared Mason enough to completely end whatever fraying remains of a relationship they now had left. The shove came quickly, and though it did little to sway Anders’ large frame, it felt like a complete betrayal, the tears that were formerly fighting to stay away now spilling out of his eyes. Sadness, hurt and loneliness all pushed themselves out in the open at once, anger thankfully taking a backseat to them for a moment. “Mason,” Anders managed to squeak out between sobs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. You just mean so much to me...” he trailed off, unable to catch up his breathing with his tears causing him to gasp over and over like a child. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Mase: There was nothing that Mason wanted more than to just wrap Anders up in her arms as soon as he started crying, but she was holding her ground, letting him see how angry she actually was. She couldn't falter - he had to see that his actions always had definite reactions. Plus, she was already too caught up with the idea that Anders didn't see her the way that she saw him, and she had to keep her face stoic to mask her true emotions. She should've saw it coming, after all, she's her mother's daughter. Her mother is still the best person in the world in Mason's eyes, but even her loving and warm nature couldn't keep a marriage together. Why did Mason expect to be any different? "I accept your apology." She whispered, plucking a couple napkins from the holder and handing them to him with a sigh. "I shouldn't have said those things to you, that was fucked up. I'm sorry." Mase murmured, pushing her hands through her hair and pacing about the kitchen, tugging on the strands to keep her own emotions in check. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me."

Anders: “No, n-no. Don’t apologize. Y-you’re r-right,” Anders whimpered, accepting the napkins and wiping his eyes with them. His breath still ragged and his head still running a million miles a minutes, Ders steadied himself against the counter top, closed his eyes and tried his best to remember how to breathe normally. It took him a minute or so to return to a somewhat normal state again, but when he did, he tried his best to go on as if they hadn’t just blown up at each other in their first real fight. “W-where’s your dust p-pan?” he asked, avoiding making eye contact with Mason as he quickly searched the kitchen area, just trying to keep his hands busy so she wouldn’t see them shaking. “In here?” he asked, opening a closet door and easily finding what he was looking for. “Stay over t-there,” he said firmly, taking note of her bare feet. Anders worked quickly, manically, as he swept up the broken glass, completely ashamed and still unwilling to look his friend in the eye. When he had finished, he deposited the bottle remnants in the garbage and made his way back to Mason. “I’m a fucking idiot, Mase. I’m sorry,” he whispered, looking down at his feet. “I can understand if you don’t wanna hang out anymore after this.”

Mase: Mason sighed as Anders started gathering the stuff to sweep up the broken glass, listening to him and staying in her kitchen. Instead of standing, she hopped up on her counter and resting her face in her hands, digging the palms into her eyes to wipe away her tears as quickly as possible. She could tell he was purposely avoiding eye contact with her, and it was breaking her fucking heart to know that he couldn't bring himself to look at her. It was her fault, anyways. If she wasn't jealous over someone she wasn't dating, none of this would've ever happened, but nope. She always had to start shit. "No, don't even say that." Mason muttered, shaking her head and opening her arms for him and pulling him into her chest when he was finally in arms reach. "I was the biggest dick in the world, okay? This was my fault. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She tilted his chin up so they could finally look at each other. "Kiss me."

Anders: The tears came rushing out again as Mason pulled him into her chest. He couldn’t believe what he had just done. The yelling and name calling was one thing, breaking things was another. “It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault,” he murmured into her shoulder, now wailing. “You’re perfect. You’re absolutely perfect and I was so fucking stupid,” he weeped. As Mase lifted his chin to hers, Anders finally made eye contact for the first time in minutes, his eyes red, puffy and ashamed. He issued a small, quarter second peck to her lips, truly believing she was the absolute last thing in the universe he deserved right then. Sighing, he leaned his forehead on Mase’s an closed his eyes, taking in what he still assumed might be one of their last moments together, just enjoying being close to her for a few more seconds. It was then that his phone started to go off again. Multiple times. He pulled away and angrily charged over to it, hitting the answer but forcefully. “Don’t call or text me ever again,” he seethed into the receiver before hanging up, shutting it off and tossing it in an aimless direction. That was the first moment in the last 20 that he realized his fist was bleeding and swollen from slamming it into Mason’s counter top. “Um, do you have any ice?” he whimpered.

Mase: Mason wiped his tears away when they came, just shaking her head in response. "Not your fault." She whispered against his lips, resting her forehead against his, wrapping her arms around his neck. Her fingers carded through the hair on the nape of his neck as they enjoyed their small moment together, the anger she was feeling slowly melting away until his phone started vibrating once more. Her arms dropped to her sides when he stormed over to his phone, a little laugh escaping her lips as he told the blonde never to contact him again. "Of course." Mason replied, sliding off the counter to open her freezer, pulling out a small ice pack and getting a clean dish towel to wrap it in so it wouldn't be too cold on his hand. "Here, come ice for a bit. I'll clean it up in, like, twenty minutes." Mason opened one of the cabinets in her kitchen to retrieve her small first aid kit, pulling out an antibacterial wipe and some ointment.

Anders: Anders felt so unbelievably grateful for having a person like Mason with him in that moment. After all of the drama he had just caused, after acting like a dumbass, after smashing things and punching things, she still wanted broken, stupid, lonely him. He winced a little as Mason worked on his hand, the pain finally breaking through to the surface after 20 minutes of straight adrenaline had prevented it from doing so. “You’re so wonderful,” he whispered, watching her work. “I love you, Mason,” he added taking her free hand with his and giving it a kiss. “You’re the most beautiful, sweet, talented, smart, extraordinary woman I’ve ever met in my life. Don’t ever doubt that for a second.” When Mason finished tending to his hand, Anders lead her back to the couch and motioned for her to lay beside him so they could cuddle. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck, inhaling her scent as they lay there. “More Office or should we switch to Parks and Rec?” he smiled, massaging her back. This was perfect. This was what he wanted more than anything. 

Mason: Mason knew that despite everything they'd just gone through, there was no way she could stay mad at Anders for long. That was her person - she'd never be able to leave him behind. After he iced, she started cleaning and tending to his hand, being as gentle as possible through all of his wincing and clenching to get him all cleaned up. His words made her smile, but she didn't look up from her task until he took her free hand and kissed it. "I love you." Mason whispered, setting the ointment down once it was applied. "Through it all, I swear I do." She gladly followed him to the couch, tucking herself into his side and sighing softly at the feeling of his lips on her neck. "Let's switch it up." Mason murmured, picking up the remote to change shows, tossing it aside once the new one started. Mase had already forgotten about their stupid fight - she was too content to be laying in Anders' arms and pretending like he was all hers. 'Soon.' She thought to herself. 'He'll know soon.'

@ofmases