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mastabas-and-mushussu · 5 years

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[Yeah, I write Undertale fanfic and don’t wanna make a separate blog right now, so have a vent piece featuring Error!Sans. Warning for cussing, terrible self-image, hapephobia, general not good mental state, possibly body horror, being bound up. Character belongs to his creator.]

Sometimes even touching the strings burned.

The sight of the souls was too much, the dolls had eyes, and everywhere he looked it was busy, busy, busy with loops of overlapping blue. The sky was a tangle, an aberrant mess of scraggly nonsense, meaningless disorder cluttering the immaculate antivoid, and yet when his eyes cleared of crackling static there was more of it, slithering through his joints and pulling at his face as his knuckles pinged with sharp pulling pain-

-and then it would start again.

Error, like any disgusting mistake, didn’t just cry liquid to relieve the pressure of pent up magic like a normal skeleton. No, no, he had to cry fucking threads because this was his life and the only relevant ducts on his glitchy fuck-up of a mug spewed webbing like some sort of backwards spider ass-face. Or something. Whatever. Point being it got tangled in his distals and that shit hurt. Especially because cry-threads insisted on not pulling the fuck out of his damn face, a little elastic at the source like some sort of never-ending snot, and the only solution was to sit there like a dumbfuck waiting for them to be brittle enough to disconnect. That time would be spent realizing that his fingers were touching, or that his clothes were touching him, and then he’d glitch out in a fog of static screeching again.

He’d accidentally shortcutted once or twice like that. There was no one left alive in any world to remember, including him most days, but he’d been cut free more times than he preferred to acknowledge.

He pressed his hands to his cheeks to ease the tugging and reflexively hissed at the cold-hot prickling pain before jerking them off again, dragging a whine from his nose at the way another inch of string was forcibly dragged from his eyesockets.

If he were any other Sans he’d have stopped vocalizing with magic waves a long time ago and forcibly deleted all of these unconscious, pathetic noises. His magic never stopped screaming though, which was one more addition to the list of fucking glitches in his code. It’d taken time, once his brain started properly ticking way back when, to learn how to lower his volume. His magic hissed and popped like an old overheated TV, alive and angry and irrationally erratic. A rare few victims of his had commented on the burning temperature of his bones. It wouldn’t surprise him if he was just hot from slowly falling apart on a microscopic level, like the heat death of the universe crammed into a bag of bones. Or entropy. Somethin’-somethin’, fast molecules, sublimation, he knew what he was talking about.

Also the whole “energy cannot be destroyed” thing was fucking haxx and Error had deleted stars without so much as a peep of backlash, so there.

Backlash meant an inanimate object was trying to fight back, and wasn’t that the worst joke? Wasn’t it? It was. It-it-it—

It was touching him, he was touching, he was-was- there was bone on bone on bone all together all touching all moving and cloth itchy-scratchy-catching on his vertebrae he wanted to rip off his own spine die in a fire stand in a sandblaster and crumple like rust it was gross he was gross fizzle-sizzling two opposing magnets error error static screeching blown fuse blown speakers radioactive interference fucking mutant where was the quiet quiet quiet why won’t it be quiet it it it burns STOP TOUCHING ME—

Sometimes even touching the strings burned.

#undertale #writing #error!sans #prose #vent art

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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Royals (A The Selection AU Fanfic) Chapter Five - TheQuartzMermaid

A/N: If you’re evil and you’re on the rise, you can count on the four Royals fans taking you down. ‘Cause we’re good and evil never beats us, we’ll read the fic and we’ll go out for pizzas! I am TheQuartzMermaid, Adore and Katya are meeting today, and if they don’t get along at first I’m sure they’ll find a way. That’s why the people on this blog believe in: Shadowcat204, whatevertrixya, Tiff, and Vixen! (and all the other people that liked/reblogged previous chapters but their names didn’t fit the parody: ummm3, thedevilstolemyobsession, civonumist, foolishfireworks, avocado-anxiety, marshallisnotinteresting, katyazamothunderfuck, teen8angel, xqueenchristinex, kaceykind3, superredhidinghood315, delano23me, achele-camren-real, shadows21233, roughfriend, snazzyjazzy617, pinkimperfectz, highclassdecadence, awk0beauts, sickening-kokes, Mistress, sdmn-af, zxldabxtch, therealdinkmunson, c-reep-s, and mr/mrs anonymous) THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT, I LOVE U GUYS A/N2: Do you wanna sing with me? Let’s start: I’m walking in like Blondie, a human ball of laundry…

Again, if you’re not familiar with The Selection, I highly recommend you to read the prologue for this fanfic. If you like it enough, you can read the original books by Kiera Cass, they’re amazing.

THE TIME HAS COME, FOR YOU TO READ THIS FIC, FOR… YOUR… LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!

Royals - Chapter Five (or The one in which two worlds collide - there are plenty of musical references in here, huh?)

“How can I say this without hurting your feelings, darling?” The platinum blonde girl who was taking care of Adore’s hair looked disappointed at that mess on her head. “Your hair is terrible.”

“Nevermind. Birds need a nest to hang out, don’t they?” Adore poked the funny bone of the hair stylish. “I believe you can save it, can’t you?”

“Well, it depends on what do you want to do with it. If you wanna be blonde like me or Miss Russia over there, I’d better shave your head and give you a wig.”

“No color change, thanks”, the Sonage Nightingale looked at her reflection in the mirror. Mom was right, Adore was really pretty with those green eyes and deep dark hair. “Actually, don’t change much. I want to keep my hair as dark as the core of my soul and as long as the list of Twos that wish they were me back in Sonage.” She chuckled. “Just make it less 'hi I slept with rats’ and more like 'hi I’m a Five who pretends to be a princess’, please.”

Alaska, the hair stylish, giggled. “You’re funny, Miss Adore. I’m already rooting for you.”

As Alaska started studying what she could do to Adore’s hair, the brunette’s gaze fell on the “Miss Russia” the stylish mentioned not long ago. She was sitting there, all smiles – and what a beautiful smile she had –, talking to a reporter. She recognized the blonde quickly, it was Yekaterina with the complicated last name, from Columbia.

The Five analyzed the girl. She was sit like a lady, wearing beautiful dress and shoes, very princess-like. Despite the royal aura she seemed to emanate, Yekaterina did look like a pleasant person to be around. Last thing Adore could see was she shaking the reporter’s hand before heading to another couch and talk to two girls: one had the smallest waist Adore’s ever seen and the other was a latin girl with a beautiful smile.

Alaska did do a miracle to that hair. Adore felt like she was one of those princesses from the stories Charlie used to tell her in her childhood. Her dark locks were now fluffy, shiny and wavy. Alaska even added little clips with pearls to avoid it from falling on Adore’s face.

“Oh my God, Alaska. Can you believe this shit?” The Selected was pleasantly surprised. The bad word didn’t seem to bother the blonde, who also seemed very proud of her work.

“I know, right, Adore Delano”, she replied. “Your hair looks so good… I love it.”

“I look fucking cool”, Adore said before getting up from her chair and hugging Alaska. “You’re a hero. Like, really. I don’t think there is a word to express how thankful I am.”

“Don’t say nothing, just send me flowers”, Alaska giggled. “Go on, Miss Adore. You still have makeup and nails to be done.”

She muttered another thank you before being led to the next station.

Unlike most of her fellow competitors, Adore payed attention to the names of every single person that crossed her way in this crazy journey. From George, the forms guy, to Bianca Del Rio, the woman that received her. From her fierce style manager, Raja, to the sweet girl who was now painting her nails, Kim. There was a man painting her face, but even though he said his name was Fame, that was not what a pin attached to his shirt’s pocket said. Adore respected that choice, though. If he says he’s Fame, then Fame he is.

“I have to say, your makeup didn’t suck for a Five”, Fame commented as he styled Adore’s eyebrows. “I’m trying to keep that style to what I’m doing.”

The girl just hummed. Mom and her couldn’t afford a makeup artist back in Sonage, so she had to learn how to beat a face by herself. Charlie taught her a few tricks too, but the techniques she used were mostly Adore’s.

After they got her ready, Raja reappeared, taking the Selected to a maze of racks and dresses. While the other girls had at least 6 different clothes, Adore only had one dress to her name. Raja seemed disappointed as she approached the girl.

“I’m deeply sorry, Miss Adore, but we weren’t expecting you until this morning” she didn’t sound condescending, if anything, she was frustrated. “We’ve only got your measures like, four hours ago and the maids only had time to sew one day dress. The queen herself went to buy some more so you can keep up to your competitors.”

“Oh, it’s okay. Thank you, Raja.” Adore flashed a sweet smile at Raja, who also offered her some shoes.

“Well, I think any of these will look fine. And don’t feel bad about your wardrobe, your maids are working on it. And about this dress…” her tone was very dreamy right now, “Prince Casey himself chose the fabric.”

Her heart felt a little warm as she got dressed. Just a look at the mirror and wow, do I really look that expensive? As she already expected, the reporters came to her and asked a bunch of questions on her look, her ideas on the other girls and her overall expectations about The Selection.

***

“Oh, there she is. The Replacement.” Violet rolled her eyes as she saw another black-haired girl come from the dressing rooms.

Katya didn’t even fight the urge to look. Damn, bitch was tall. And her dress was lovely: lilac with a white belt, short sleeves and some pearl details on the top part. She almost looked like royalty.

“What do you mean by replacement?” Violet’s new friend, Pearl, asked.

“A blonde smiley girl was picked from Sonage, but she broke the law and was disqualified”, the tiny-waisted model answered, matter-of-factly. “I heard somebody say the bitch lied on her form, and giving false information is indeed a crime.”

“I heard she was made an Eight and then they got 'The Replacement’ instead”, it was time for Ivy to talk about it.

“Lucky girl.” Pearl sighed.

The girl they were calling “The Replacement” was done with her interview now and chose a seat far away from every other girl in the room. As she passed by Katya’s group, the girl from Columbia could read the name on her pin: Adore.

How could a name fit it’s owner so perfectly? Adore didn’t have to open her mouth or do anything, but Katya was sure she was really adorable. And scared. Katya could sense that, she was really good at reading other people’s body language: Adore stared at the floor, only lifting her gaze to look around. She was really tall, but the way she was sit made her look really small. She looked at her nails and played with her hair. Her expression revealed she was kind of unsure about being there. And then Adore started looking around again, when her eyes met Katya’s.

The girl from Sonage tried to look away, but those blue eyes were kind of magnetic. It was Yekaterina, of course, Miss Russia. Why is she looking at me?, Adore thought. Does she think I’m some kind of aberration?

Suddenly, Adore thought the plant by her side looked extremely fascinating. Of course. The other girls were already talking about her, about how she wasn’t supposed to be here. Yekaterina was one of them, clearly. She was a Three, she had a “higher position” compared to Adore… Or so she thought she had. Adore was now a Three too, since she was one of the Selected. George said something about lower caste girls having some difficulties to go back to their previous lives after The Selection, so anyone below Three received Three status after being chosen. Simple as that.

Katya swears she heard something break when Adore looked away. Did I stare too much? Of course this wasn’t the main question in her head. Despite this feeling, she dared looking at Adore again, only to be interrupted by Bianca. Sadly, she didn’t pay attention to anything the older woman said after the “ladies” calling.

The question was still pulsing in her mind.

Did anyone notice?

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lord-dusk · 5 years

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Jurassic Emblem-Chapter 13

The story’s getting hot and thirsty guys ^u^ You might want to spray your genetic material at pregnancy art every once in a while reading. Enjoy!

Lucina was not surprised to hear that the next Aberrant Forms to target next were located in Ylisse. When she and Blue had returned to Askr, beaten up Teba and Warbler and threw back into their cells alongside Basilice, Commander Anna had announced to the raptors that their next mission will bring them to the Exalted Princess’s home country. This time, Lucina decided to have her daddy watch over the mercs and bring along the raptor squad. And Ryukami decided to lounge in the fish pond after several days of swimming in the open ocean.

When Chrom’s ex-wife Grima was righteously turned into a Wal-Mart store, the now King of Ylisse had declared open desertification to the already dry conditions of his country. He figured that by rendering his land inhospitable, neighboring countries would have no reason to invade. Indeed, when the local residents uprooted native grasses and drained the rivers, even goblins didn’t want to live in an area with barely any supply of water. But that also meant Ylisseans found it quite difficult to grow crops and petitioned to King Chrom to forgive his neighbors and open up to other nations.

But Chrom wasn’t having any of this shit. He had long since closed off any trade routes out of a deep-seated grudge for that cunt-licker Gangrel and proceeded to dessicate the ecosystem even further. And do you remember how Sha’Rad Yuwi had released a strain of flakka-induced rabies to the country? Well in truth, the virus didn’t kill off Ylisseans entirely, it just sped the catastrophe along. It wasn’t until after his retainer Frederick died did Chrom truly wished he partnered with Prince Xander of Nohr instead of taking his anger out on his non-family.

“I could really go for a drink,” Echo remarked, trekking in the hot sand. “If we don’t reach the boss of this level soon I don’t think I can refrain from spilling blood in front of you girls.”

“Well, it’s not exactly ideal, but all the nutrients an organism needs,” Delta said,”is condensed right in its kin. But Echo, you know, I know, and we all know that we need to stick together for survival and the last thing Blue wants is for us to dissect each other.”

“Umm, yeah, and don’t even think about lapping up your own pee,” Blue jumped in. “those mistakes of human beings who drink urine for “survival” obviously have too much free time on their hands.” She surveyed the wide desert environment, a few temnospondyl skeletons littered the sandscape.

Charlie, the little velociraptor, was panting. “Are we there yet? I’m even happy to eat plants if it means getting some nice cool H2O.”

Blue cocked her head to look at her youngest sister. “Tell you what Charlie,” she said. “when we tackle down this baddie of this level, why don’t we all go bathe in Askr’s moat? The trout swimming there are quite delectable I have to say.”

“But I’m so thiiirsty,” Charlie whined. “even now, the last water molecules I have in my body are leaving me.”

Lucina tapped her hand on the jungle-green raptor. “Now I might sound as convincing as say, Sole Survivor here but you’ve been a good girl Charlie.” She scrunched up her left arm, reveal bare flesh. “Here, if you have to , bite my arm and lap my blood.”

Blue’s eyes widened. “Future Witness, you do know that the moment my little sister chomps your arm, septic bacteria will flood your wound, right? There’s no medical help around here for miles.”

Lucina shrugged. “Sepsis or not, Charlie is in genuine need to rehydrate, and I want to do what I can to save everyone I love, including you.” The green-brown dinosaur sank her teeth into the Exalted princess’s bare arm. The navy girl flinched in response as warm,dark crimson flowed from Charlie’s jaws.

The blue-striped velociraptor sighed. “I can’t change your choice of action, but if you collapse on the ground because you got an infection, remember that it was you who initiated it.”

“No need to tell me,” the Exalted Princess replied maternally, Charlie suckling on her bloody arm.

***************

Blue didn’t like her counterpart’s decision, but she had to respect it. As carnivorous animals didn’t exactly practice oral hygiene after their meals, flesh-eating bacteria more often than not inhabited their mouths and despite Lucina applying sand, pressure, and a tunic fashioned from her cape unto her wound after nursing Charlie, the navy-blue raptor knew damn well it was only a matter of time before infection set in and ate away at Lucina’s arm, eventually requiring amputation at best. They had to hurry and complete their mission.

Unsurprisingly to Lucina prior to their departure, the Aberrant Forms were residing in the ruined castle in the former Halidon of Ylisse, which made traveling there a relative breeze. Aside from the occasional scampering compsognathus hopping about on some crumbling pillars, there wan’t really anything to impede the raptors’ mission to defeat the boss of this area.

Well, at least anything that wasn’t heavily armored or bearing a sharp saber.

Blue and company were about to take a step toward’s Luci’s former residence and a woman in orchid mounting on top of a spiky turtle-like ankylosaurus met them at the entrance.

“Howdy cutie babes!” the ankylosaurus greeted them enthusiastically, his eyes gleeming with endorphins. “It’s always nice when I get to see cute young women like you for these hard eyes!”

“Oh great, a wounded girl and four little lizards,” the white and pink woman remarked. “I ought to be killing my sisters and instead I’m stuck here with this pervy turtle and chopping up trespassers.”

Blue walked up to them. “Umm, hello. We’re here to see the boss of this level, and ideally, we would like to defeat them bore Future Witness here lands in critical condit-

WHOOOMP! A spike-laden tail ending in a hard club had just barely missed Blue as the charcoal blue-striped dromaeosaur leaped back. The ankylosaur was swinging his tail, stirring up a cloud of dust.

“Awww, do we really hav’ta go this route? I heard the world of Fire Emblem is full of hot voluptuous chicks and it’ll be such a disgrace if I smashed their frail bodies.” the chelonian-esque dinosaur commented, still thrashing his tail in confrontation.

“Grandpa Havoc, does it really matter whether we kill men or women?” The orchid woman sighed. “At the end of the day, anyone who stands in our way is just a walking juice-box with organs floating in it, gender or no gender.”

“Awww, but Zero, don’t ya think girls like you and those veloci-vixens make bloody anime and games more digestible? The viewers don’t want to experience a Chernobyl gas-leak 20 times a day.” the ankylosaur named Havoc protested.

On the other hand Blue and her sisters were at a standstill. The white woman named Zero could perhaps be taken out with the raptor swarming at her, but Havoc was proven to be a hard hurdle. Somewhere, deep within the fabric of their DNA, just like their ancestors knew 80 million years ago, Blue and her siblings knew ankylosaurs were the pinnacle of armored dinosaurs. A low-profile body enveloped with numerous osteoderms and spikes were already diffult to penetrate enough, then there is the delightful bit that fatal tail-club is more than blunt enough to break the leg bones of a tyrannosaur. Did I also mentioned that ankys’ heads were armored to the extent that even their eyelids took eye-protection to the extreme? The raptors could plan a surprise attack but they need to think hard, and fast-

“Okay Veloci-Volutuous-Vixens, since you’re at a lost here, I think I’m gonna make life easier for you gals and let you pass.” Havoc said.

Blue tilted her head. “...? Did I hear that just right?”

“Why yes, my dear dromeaosaurid theropod. You girls can proceed to the boss fight up ahead, on one condition.”

“And what would that be?” Delta asked.

Havoc smiled. “Why, since you gorgeous girls are in humanoid form, why don’t you unzip those pants and reveal them lacy bras to this tired anky here?”

“....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................are you fucking serious!?” the raptors exclaimed in shock and disbelief.

“I cannot say it is a lie. Even with rex blood pumped into a ya, no raptors can ever flip over an anyklosaurus like me, let alone the king of the dinosaurs. I’m just making things easier for y’all.” Grandpa Havoc eyed Lucina and her bandaged left arm. “and I think if she were to knock boots with my waifu Zero here, I think ya’ll and I struck a deal-OW!!”

Zero had jabbed her sword right in Havoc’s head out of annoyance. “If you’d like me to kill you for assuming I’m like my slutty sister Five, absolutely help yourself Havoc.” She hissed as she jumped off her comrade. As Havoc was trying her shake the erect sword off his head, Zero strided towards Luci and placed a small glowing blue orb in her hand. “W-what is this?” Lucina asked.

“Theorectically I can heal that fleshy boo-boo of your while bedding you child, but I am not a horny slut like Five, so I’m giving you this.” Zero said, not smiling. “this orb will prevent any infections to your body, at least in the moment.”

“O-oh. Thank you.” Luci bowed her head.

“As for you lizards though,” Zero continued to the raptors. “it IS possible to crush that pervy turtle-lizard thing but you’d have to use spears or magic. In other words: better luck next time!”

Though Delta wouldn’t admit it, she got a very sensational, soft, and wet feeling from hearing Zero’s bold statement. She looked at her other siblings, Blue, Echo, and Charlie, as well as Lucina. “Alright, we’ll shed our outer layers,” The green-blue velociraptor commenced.

And when the ankylosaurus Grandpa Havoc turned his head to see the girls pulling off their shirts, unzipping their pants, and patting their lacy underwear, the sword jammed into his head suddenly loosened and fell off. There was hardlt any better treat than to see cute females donning 2-piece lacy lingerie, revealing lustrous breasts, smooth thighs, and a full abdomen.

#jurassic emblem #fire emblem heroes #blucina #zero(drakengard)#jurassic world #yes just like horn skuld zero is neither from FE nor JP but it's a very nice twist to this carnival cast of characters #raptor squad #dinosaurs #ankylosaurus #fanfiction

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diyunho · 4 years

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The Joker x Reader - “Trapped” Part 3

Almost one year ago, someone tried to kill The Joker in a speeding car and Y/N pushed him out of the way, getting hit instead. With a fractured skull and broken bones, she was out of business for 6 months; when she finally recovered, The Queen of Gotham wasn’t the same anymore. Trapped inside her own mind and exhibiting severe cognitive impairment, Y/N’s life switched upside down without any hope of ever returning to normal.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5

Same day, later in the evening

“What are you doing, Pumpkin?” The Joker crawls next to you although he has an idea about why you look upset.

You’re on your tummy scribbling on a piece of paper and he can tell you are concentrating hard while working on the current project: writing down your name. Only got the first three letters then the rest went blank.

“I….I can’t think…” you intensely stare at the blue pen in between your fingers.

“Of course you can!” J reaches over so he can guide your arm since it’s clear you need help. “There you go… done. Now try to copy it bellow, alright?”

“Hm?”

“Try again Princess,” he taps on the sheet and watches Y/N struggling to imitate the word. “Well done!” The King of Gotham praises. “Wanna give it a shot with a few more simple words?”

“Mmmm…” you debate. “OK?...”

You analyze The Joker’s movements as he depicts four letter words, one of them getting your attention in particular.

“Love?” you smile, happy you deciphered the meaning.

“Yes, a basic…”

“Love?” you scoot over, more and more excited and it clicks for your boyfriend.

“It’s just an example for you to exercise and relearn how to write, understand? It doesn’t mean anything!”

You giggle and touch his nose with yours.

“Love!”

“No Pumpkin! I don’t love you, how did you get such atrocity from my note??!! It has no hidden meaning! I barely, from very afar, remotely, not even similar to love, sort of like you and that’s it!”

You snicker and quickly slide to grab the yellow teddy bear, whispering in its ear:

“Love.”

“Aren’t you listening Princess?? Don’t start fake rumors!!”

Still…Y/N lives on her own little planet and her damaged brain grasped a wonderful concept despite The Clown vehemently dismissing his actions.

“Serves me right for being supportive,” he grumbles and resorts to diversion, the best weapon against your new found logic.

“Wanna read to me?” he points at the pile of children’s books resting on the nightstand: they are the best to use in your present circumstance.

“… … Read?... ” you ask, confused.

“Here,” J picks a random publication and gives it to you.

Might as well fully take advantage.

“Spoil me!” he buries his cheeks in your cleavage, guiding your free hand towards his green locks.

You never figured out how he doesn’t suffocate with his face glued to your skin; sometimes he sleeps like that for hours. Must be a special talent.

“The … ummm… the…. The duck…” you read the first page and massage his scalp, frowning at the words you can’t make sense of. “Cross… … crossed?...”

“Yeah,” The Joker’s mumbled voice agrees.

“… the… g-glass…” you stutter at the sentence.

“Grass,” J corrects you.

“Hm?...”

“Grass Pumpkin, not glass.”

“Ummm… grass…” you continue to read the best way you can and he rectifies your errors until no more sounds emerge: The King is softly purring, a clear indication he’s dreaming.

You toss the book on the floor, fed up with the difficult task of organizing your thoughts; pampering him is better. You slowly tilt his head backwards so you can kiss him: The Joker frowns in his daze and you pinch his butt, chuckling.

“What is it?” he opens one eye and you pull down on his boxers. “Princess, we had sex an hour ago. Do you think I run on batteries?” the complaint is fast to follow.

... … … Batteries?... …

You jump from the bed and stump to the closet, fumbling around for a couple of minutes before returning to a puzzled Clown.

You stretch the elastic of his underwear, dropping two batteries you snatched from the flashlight inside.

“How… how long do we w-wait?” you innocently ask.

The Joker bites his lip, attempting to contain himself yet he can’t: he bursts out laughing at your quirky solution while dragging you on top of him.

“You’re the funniest and smartest person I know, Pumpkin!” he cracks up, actually convinced he’s telling the truth. “Who’s my clever girl, huh?”

He’s talking about a girl again…What girl?...

Y/N peeks behind her and J reminds his baffled half:

“For God’s sake, Princess! I’m talking about you; you’re my girl! Can you get my phone?” he gestures at his mobile ringing by your pillow.

You give the cell to J, ignoring his conversation with Frost: you keep kissing him with the sole purpose of getting undivided affection.

“I guess Adam is here to pick up the cars you damaged,” he finally ends his chat. “Let’s go supervise the process. Don’t be disappointed, Pumpkin, we’ll have fun later. It’s your fault for destroying my collection!”

****************

The Joker watches his crew sweeping the concrete in the garage: broken glass, pieces of metal and debris scattered on the pavement after his vehicles were hauled inside huge trucks in order to be transported to Adam’s workshop for repairs.

“Thanks a lot, Y/N!” he growls, frustrated.

“Y-you’re welcome,” you serenely reply without a care in the universe.

“You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me, Princess!” he huffs at your indifference.

“Love,” you confess to the fluffy toy squished in your embrace.

“I heard that and it’s an aberration! Why do you keep persisting with this nonsense?! I’m literally stating the opposite!” J admonishes but who’s listening to him?

Not Y/N.

“Nolan is texting me,” he changes subject. “He wants me to meet him at his warehouse to inspect the boxes of ammo for the deal. Will you accompany me?”

“Hm?”

“Car ride?” The King of Gotham simplifies his request.

“U-hum!” you nod, preparing to enter the purple Lamborghini which luckily wasn’t in the garage when you smashed J’s cars.

“Frost, if you see me parked up the street in the driving alley, don’t come investigate, got it? This woman’s been pestering me for extracurricular activities, might not make it inside the mansion.”

“Of course, sir!” Jonny finds it wise to consent to his boss’s rambling.

“Tell everyone: if the Lamborghini’s rockin’, don’t come knockin’!”

**************

You’re sitting on J’s lap, completely blocking the arrangements happening at the table: you’re more preoccupied with your game than whatever it is they are negotiating about.

“What are you playing, Y/N?” Nolan curiously inquires because your thumbs are surely moving at a crazy speed on your cell’s screen.

“Hm?” you stop and gaze his way.

“What are you playing?” the man repeats.

“Mmmmm… Tetrixx Bricks.”

“What level are you on?” Nolan leans over, his eyes getting big at the revelation. “Holy shit, Y/N! How did you make it this far??! I’ve been striving to pass level 98 for a month!”

“She’s smart, that’s how!” your boyfriend sassily underlines.

“Do you think that you can help me?” the guy slides his phone in front of you.

“I’m sorry, is this a gaming party or a business matter?!” The Joker scoffs.

“Well, we’re pretty much done: we accepted the terms, we just have to move the merchandise in the morning.”

You are already matching the colorful blocks on Nolan’s game, his face ecstatic when the obnoxious song announces with great fanfare: “Level Up!”

“Holy cow!!!!” he shouts and you return his phone. “Thank you!”

“Hey Y/N,” one of the mobster’s henchmen dares to voice his demand. “Would you help me too? I’m stuck on level 76.”

“I’m dead on 105,” another goon mumbles under his breath, stepping in the line forming to your left.

J would normally cut off this useless waste of his precious time yet he can’t deny the gratification building up in his heart: heavens knows how it feels to be trapped inside your own mind and his girl has definitely battled unimaginable odds to be where she’s at right now.

Living with cognitive impairment is not easy, but she’s still here and it beats the alternative.

“Good job, Pumpkin!” The Clown boasts at the long string of cell phones parading through your fingers while you aid Nolan’s team leveling up on Tetrixx Bricks.

And somehow his hands are holding you tighter, not even bored with the random outcome of his meeting.

**************

You escaped on the terrace for a break and J is discussing the last details with your host: tomorrow you have a routine checkup, thus he has to wrap it up soon.

“Out of my way, half-wit!” Derek aka Nolan’s oldest son pushes you. Would he have done it if you were the same individual from almost a year ago? Nope. Apparently he believes he’s entitled to take advantage of Y/N since she’s alone outside.

“Why did Mister Joker bring you anyway?” he lights up a cigarette, annoyed. “Stupid monosyllabic bitch!” he ogles your summer dress, swiftly lifting it. “Are you wearing diapers?” he chuckles as you walk backwards, trying to process what he’s throwing at you. “Come on, show me!” he approaches and carefully scouts the premises to ensure you two don’t have company.

Perhaps the neurons in your brain are overcharged for the moment; nevertheless, they warn of imminent altercation: the dude’s a total douchebag.

“Are you shy?” Derek grins. “C’mon, lemme see!! Oooohh…fuuuuck…” he bends over in pain when your knee unexpectedly kicks him in the crotch: you used all your strength and he drops down, curling up in a ball. “God…dammit!” Derek shrieks at the defense he didn’t anticipate.

“I…I’m not wearing diapers!” you stammer and because he landed on the edge of the pool you roll him in the water also.

The loud splash makes The Joker wave at you, glad he eventually found you: he’s been searching around the warehouse for the last 5 minutes.

“There you are! Quit playing around, Pumpkin; we have a swimming pool at home!”

You rush by his side eager to bail before the asshole pops up from the bottom of the pond.

“Sushi for dinner?” J suggests and Y/N is not the type of individual to reject one of her favorite dishes.

“I…I love sushi,” you smile elbowing him. “Love.”

“Don’t start with me again!” The King barks at your obvious hint.

*************

“Are you eating the last piece?” he glares at your salmon roll.

“No,” you offer the treat to him. “You…you need it more,” Y/N verbalizes her concern regarding his well-being.

“Can’t disagree, Pumpkin. You exhausted me you naughty girl,” J pretends to be super tired. “What can I do? Princess wants, Princess gets,” he inhales, resigned.

You’re not focusing on his whining: frankly, your intellect has been challenged enough for today. You cuddle in his arms while he chews on his food and watch TV without paying attention to the movie.

“Don’t forget tomorrow morning you have your doctor’s appointment,” J mentions. “I have to stay and wait for the guns I purchased from Nolan; you’ll have to manage without me. I’ll send an escort, deal?”

“U-hum.”

“Don’t yawn, Pumpkin. I’m the one that should yawn,” The Joker scratches his thigh. “This move sucks,” he pouts and turns off the TV. “I have a better idea,” he chooses a kid’s book from the stack. “Read to me.”

You open the textbook and although your brain is overwhelmed, you still make an effort for his sake.

“Mmm… Rainy… sky… Skies?...”

“Yup,” he turns on his side and nuzzles in your hair.

“Float over…hmm… t-town…”, your voice echoes in the room, soothing a worn out Joker.

Strange he can’t properly rest unless you read to him: after all J barely, from very afar, remotely, not even similar to love, sort of likes you.