#tumblr was healing what's happening
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Well, this is disappointing.
Where's that post about welcoming amazing artists coming from other platforms or becoming more active here? Ah, it's here.
Is this how you intend on making them stay, tumblr?
turning the "ask" off and stopping Galeida Monday
first of all there's a lot of you that left me really lovely and sweet messages saying my art in a way or another meant a lot to you, and even if I didn't respond to all of you I read them all and they made my day better thank you!
but of course there's some people who keep leaving insults and threats in my "ask" because they don't like that my oc Galeida it's not fat, and I get it it's disappointing, and I guess it's my fault cause I stupidly made her so similar to Garfield except for body type...
but yeah I really don't like keep reading those kind of messages and since I already have depression it's not helping me.
but to be fair not all of you left aggressive dm, some of you were sincerely disappointed in me and I'm sorry, so I think I'll stop posting Galeida Monday here... I'm not sure, I like her but she now have a sour taste for all of this situation
#tumblr life#tumblr was healing what's happening#go outside#it does wonders#ruin babbles#OC inspired by a character is not that character and it need not have all said character traits#I thought we were trying to get over the allergy to nuance
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yea
#i had posted this everywhere and it occurred to me that i hadnt on tumblr. which seems like a crime#keith kogane#vld keith#vld lance#vld fanart#lance mcclain#voltron#klance#can i rant for a bit#grabs the microphone Id like to thank this huge step on my voltron healing journey to my mom#who said 'oh its that show that made you cry in frustration! the kitties!'#and i said 'yes mother i was 15'#i dont think ive ever felt so. like. bullied? i dont wanna say ridiculed but#by a shows' producer#not since fucking BBC SHERLOCK#and i dont mean oh of course it wasnt gonna be canon. Of cours it wasnt I dont mean that#what i didnt need was getting baited left and right#the show milked the shit out of. lets be real here. young queer kids and then turned around and pointed and laughed when they gained hope on#their silly red blue ship to get canon#bc lets be real if anything queer was gonna happen. ambiguous non binary pidge was already there#two skinny attractive teen boys is like low hanging fruit. diet rep#but it wasnt even abt that. at least i truly never thought klance was srly gonna b canon. i HOPED. but like. i never shipped 4 canon anyway#i LIKED voltron. i loved lotor. i had always been a multishipper allur//ce was rkly cute i couldve dug that#if they hadnt spent the last season looking miserable AND THEN DYING#tf u mean our female lead died TF U MEAN THE LATINO MC BECAME A FARMER? w the forever marks of his dead gf on his face? Are you joking rn???#anyway. hit me up for more voltron opinions i got tons#(mic drop)
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Turning the silly designs from that drawing into a whole au yippee wahoo have a lamb ref i will drop info EVENTUALLY!!!
#artists on tumblr#art#digital art#artwork#tale of the bovidae#thats the au name rn uh#cotl bovidae au#for short#i dunno im still workshopping it#and feel like naming it cult of the bovidae is the easy way out#though i fear that may happen anyway#ok back to regular tags#cotl#cotl lamb#lamb design#cotl designs#cotl fanart#cotl au#healed scars#should i tag that??#have no clue what im doing chat i’ll be so real#cult of the lamb
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Come sit with us, have a rest. You've earned it.
You're exactly where you need to be right now, so please, huddle by the fire and doze off. No matter how young you are, you've still been living for years. Exhausting, isn't it?
Rest for me 🌻
#digital art#art#artists on tumblr#furry artist#gay artist#samhaven#pikmin#pikmin 4#pikmin art#oatchi#Surprisingly wasn't high when making the short “poem”#if you can even call it that#just happy and content#with a LOT of naps and healing#You know whats funny I literally repeated to myself several times “sam don't forget the shadow under the log being carried by the red pikmin#you're never gonna guess what fucking happened
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Me, curled around my cat after eating lunch: my sweet boy.. such loud purrs... surely we can take a little nap together with no consequences....
Me, waking up: oh hello my baby boy, ack my bones, you're awfully purr-purr rn, what time is it?
Me: ...
Me:
5 PM?!?!?
#it was supposed to be a small nap... wh#what happened...#i never even finished cleaning our 3 litter boxes#the 3rd one was extra stinky and the ammonia made me woozy for the next few hours.#actually that was at like 10 so i was still a little light headed during the nap#...#i hope that doesnt mean anything#cats of tumblr#cats#sunny tag#i want you to read this a la 'IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER' trust me it makes the experience better-#dont cat's purrs have healing properties.#uhm#uh#well im going to stop thinking about That
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#when i was a kid I was kinda neglected and my parents didn't like me very much but whatever#in tv there would always be these talent#and they would stare little kids with they parents being THERE and PROUD#so in my kid brain i thought: alright so to better my situation i just need to get really good at something and then they'll care for me#and the only skill i had been complimented on before was drawing#so i started teaching myself drawing#birds because i liked them and plants because i thought my mother loved and later skeletons because i was emo lol#and i think how i am so perfectionist in my art (eventhough i try to be happy with just whatever i make these days)#and i think about that quote of suzanne riveca thats like:#(my art) has to be perfect it has to be irreproachable in every way to make up for it#to make up for the fact that it's me#and about that one tweet that went something lile#sometimes we strive for pervection in our art because we hope to one day create something that doesn't look like we made it#and how i love drawing and hat that knife against my throat that hinges my life on it being good#and how no matter what i do#I can't get rid of that sinking feeling that i always have to struggle and earn my place in someones life#even when i know it's not like that and thats just the mentally ill part of my brain being loud and dumb#Like i got so many issues under controll by now#many reason to be proud! and be positive about things getting better and my own strength#but some part of my brain is still that little girl alone in all the empty rooms#and i can't get her out of there#because the strength that girl needed to make it through is the same strength i need to help myself through the waves of the aftermath#like i feel like to heal i'd need to allow mysf to be weak but that prospect of not holding myself clenxhed like a fist is so scary#and also knowing how bad my brain can be who knowd what would happen lol#and I WISH not every therapist in my city that accepts patients was a weird nutjob#so i could talk to them about it rather than the tumblr tag#but this is the hand we've been given and it's the hand we need to hold or however that goes#a few days ago someone called me charming and that was very nice#tumblr still limiting the tags to 30 😔 how is a girl supppse to therapise herself in that economy????#whatever!!! i am shattering like glass but at least i have viddy games and cool people in my life that like me despite it all and music
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hi ♡ i guess i'm back? 🥹
here's a little life update! i think you guys deserve it after my absence that lasted longer than even i expected it to last ;( i am very sorry about that. i miss everyone here and bangtan so much, you have no idea. the reason for all that is that for the past months i have been going through a lot of things and changes in my life. there were good and bad things happening, time flies extra fast, days melt into one and i didn't even notice the past half a year pass. although i think my absence was unavoidable in these circumstances i just thought that you guys deserve to know what's been up with me for the past months haha i have received a lot messages and reminders that people remember about me and that they miss me and i just want to send all of you my biggest apologies for leaving you for so long with no response, as well as all my love and gratitude! 🥺 i think i've been always fairly transparent on here so if anyone wanted to know more I'll leave some more details in the tags but basically I just hope that soon i will be able to become more active again and respond to messages ❤️❤️❤️ i hope everyone is doing great 🥰
#honestly... it was yoongi's comeback that made it happen. that made me have motivation to come back. i didnt expect it but here we are LOL#because for the past months i have been struggling a lot and i almost lost all the connections with my friends family and bangtan#i lost all my feelings and thoughts#i didnt miss anyone i didnt want to do anything i didnt want to be anywhere. i was completely submerged into my own head#i still am. it didnt exactly get better but.. its just yoongis impact jasbhdjdjd he made me remeber a lot#in october last year i developed a very agressive eating disorder and its gotten a lot worse at the begging of this year#and it has taken everything from me. it sucked me dry and still continues to do so. it made my mental health so much worse on every level#but im still here and thats what matters in the end right ❤️#from the good things - after long unfortunate and very stressful job hunting i finally got a stable job 🥰 and i continue my uni so far#that's why i was absent here most of the time. i decided to focus on my life and on trying to change something and to fight a little more#after jin's enlistment announcement... it was a wake up call for me#and maybe soon i will be back on track but im taking things slow. especially that its not easy for me at all#but i just wanted you to know that theres been a lot happening here so ❤️ im not just getting bored of tumblr and bts haha#i never stopped following the fandom i never turned off my notifications from media i never stopped looking up what they're up to each day#i just didnt have time and motivation to be active. because of my health i wanted to be quiet and away from eveyone and everything :/#even from my comfort people and activities#that sounds sad but. it's alright so please don't worry about me ❤️ I'm holding on just fine. got used to some things ❤️ trying to heal#so yeah i think thats that haha i think its enough and all basically#it may seem like very little but my life has always been very slow when it comes to big actions haha#anyway. love you all so much ❤️ thank you for not forgetting about me ❤️#soon i will try to answer some mesdages from my inbox. please wait for me just a little bit more ❤️ im very overworked right now#but im so sorry that you have to wait so long ❤️
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one of my favourite types of exchanges is when a mutual of a mutual pops up in your notes and likes a few things before disappearing forever. cool. didn't wanna be friends anyways. I bet you suck too. smothers on make up in the mirror to show that under my aloof and superficial exterior I'm actually deeply hurt and delicate. bitch.
#I think it happened more than once but I'm not sure. anyways mutual of my mutual my arch nemesis I guess.#different scenario but:#once a blog I thought was cool followed me and I got really excited and didn't know what to do#and then they unfollowed me after like. a day.#I still think about that to this day and have their name blacklisted#but tumblr still keeps reccing me their blog and many mutuals reblog from them. so. wounds that never heal etc.#(for clarification: I wasn’t following them bc I was shy(?) and then took too long to follow back I guess? or they thought my posts sucked.
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Has anyone else noticed that if you type an apostrophe in the tags, the suggested tags turn into clickbait news articles that are increasingly wild? You can also type ‘witch and get some weird stuff or ‘try and it’s just all bizarre
#seriously#here are some examples#‘hurt’ william ‘blanks harry from his mind’ & has ‘no intention’ of healing rift on his brother’s birthday#chris simms quickly backtracks after shocking live tv take claiming teams should ‘try to kill the quarterback’#literally what is happening#tumblr#not selfship
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guys don't worry the days are gonna keep going by
#im gonna make it to 30 goddamnit#im gonna fuckin recover and im gonna get a new place without a maniac for a roommate and me and my cat#are gonna be safe and make it until im at least 30 years old#and maybe even beyond that#my god it's gonna happen#im still dealing with the pile of garbage that's my life rn but soon this'll be a goddamn memory#and im gonna be fuckin happy#and so is rosie my kitty cat#anyway. i need to work on stuff and im still planning on posting here bc I'll be damned if im gonna let that bitch stop me#i dont want to talk about what she did but i would like to vent a little publicly. rant in my own little corner of the internet lol#maybe someday i will if someone's really curious about it. it has to do with domestic violence being committed against me#thus why im hesitant to talk about it further. im tired of talking about it#but i do like saying im gonna heal and move on and be happy. so im saying it. and it's gonna happen#artists on tumblr#my art#love and peace on planet earth#rosie posting
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Hey Knight I just saw the villain champion chart thing and I was just wondering why you decided to put the champions where they are
Like I understand Diantha, Geeta, and Lance cause they do be evil. But why the rest? Cynthia’s place really confuses me lol
Man idk bc I made that around eleven in the pm and my minds always out of it past nine jcmdnd hahaha
But like I did have concepts for it back then so hey hahah
So villain au Leon, he believes what he's doing is right, he thinks that hey since he's really the "no1 Champion" he should be the one protecting the weak from any threat, but ofc, it got to the point he'd really kill em and such bc why let a threat just walk around his region right? Also y'know, that thing w Rose threatening Hop and Leon finding out abt it, sponsor be damned he actually up and killed Rose bc why would anyone even try to think of hurting the Champion's brother? People didn't really question him bc ofc, why tf would they even go against the strongest fucking trainer of their region, and Leon was like really happy that people understand why he's doing it, unaware that they're actually terrified of him. A few did speak up abt it tho, and Leon did not take it well, he's going on how if they don't want him to make Galar peaceful, then they are a threat to Galar
Wallace idk bc my initial plan was for him between thinking he's doing right and doing it for the lols I'm sorry my mind really was so out of it last night I did so many questionable shit w my drafts here on Tumblr too😭 but like cndmnd y'know, he and Steven for this one, two Wingull w one Stone hahaha and like, maybe they would think the same way like Leon, just trying to protect the weak. But I also wanna say that Wallace also likes the thrill of being a villain maybe, bc again, my initial thought was for him between doing what's right and for the lols, and maybe he got that power to his head, especially since he does know how to make Kyogre bow down to him
I did,, mention that Steven would kill for Wallace and Lisia, and maybe he really went on w that, and hey he thinks he's doing right bc he's just protecting the ones he loves right?
Hau genuinely believes he's doing right bc ofc in this au the champions are all so out of it na rin, so they manipulated him to make him believe in them more, and they'd just tell him that what they're doing is actually right, even tho they're killing people
Iris is in between Dia/Lance and Cynthia bc I do think that the champions' manipulation runs that deep in her that she became downright fucking cruel. But like, y'know, she's enjoying it too, people looked down on her for most of her life, and now she's having fun making them kneel before her and finally realizing how strong of a champion she really is
Cynthia idk bc whenever I imagine Cynthia as a villain I always see her as someone who'd really be evil for lols, and doing evil stuff to get what she wants, like you catching my drift here? Hahah like I imagine her really just acting all friendly w trainers, but if smth did happen to them and they don't know she's there, she'd just watch and see if they'd be okay, she's curious if they're strong enough. And when she found out abt Cyrus' plan abt recreating the world, her curiosity piqued, and she just watched it all unfold. Altho w this one tho, I do wanna say that she did,, help?? Him?? Catch Mesprit, Uxie, and Azelf to create the Red Chain, and she told them that she really didn't care abt what's the whole deal on recreating the world, she just wanted to see all these legendary pkmn, and she did. Saw Cyrus die before her bc of Giratina, saw Gira and went on how powerful he was, and y'know told him that she's also a powerful trainer, and maybe if they work together they'd become more powerful than Arceus. And yeah, idk, even w the actual pkmn version of Satan she's not at Satan incarnate bc I wanna say she really isn't like Diantha who manipulates anyone or Lance who just kills anyone, rather she just doesn't care much abt anyone else and just likes the feeling of being godlike, especially now she and Giratina share a body, and she got Giratina's own power now too
#i hope this makes sense bc i just woke up too like i slept around 1:44 last night—#so im like.. vibing hahaha#ah but yeah holy shit villain champions fnmdnd#i never really thought much abt like.. leon wallace and steven's bit much#compared to iris and hau and cynthia#bc the former three i really think theyd be seen as evil despite them believing theyre doing right#is bc how they do shit is really fucked up so people are like 'uhm.. champions are yall okay—'#but then again stevens a really hidden villain i think he can get away w a lot of murder#ough holy shit man sorry tho like even im vibing rn what the absolute fuck happened in my drafts here on tumblr#tf did i do last night it was 180smth last night and then suddenly its at 80smth#what kind of healing is this😭#is this even still considered healing holy shit i really deleted a lot of stuff w h a t—#ah well hey ig hahaha#pokemon champions#villain champions au#an ask and an answer#jerseyk112
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i really don't think any of you have ever actually interacted with a fully grown adult human person who genuinely believes satanic ritual abuse happened to them when they were a child.
#j.txt#on one hand i think the full scale of the satanic panic does need to be talked about more yeah#on the other it all seems very figurative when i see other people bring it up#when like. there are real people out there who have been deeply traumatized by something#even if it wasn't. fucking satanic rituals#and decades have passed that they've spent trying to heal this shit without questioning the original premise of abuse#and like. what the fuck would the point be in trying to convince them otherwise at that point#like. if it's been literally 3 decades of therapy trying to heal this shit#and so much progress has been made#what is the point. on their behalf. in picking apart the premise. would it just retraumatize them? i don't fucking know!#but at the same time it feels negligent to leave it as is when things like qanon are still fucking happening#so. like. goddamn#is there a right way to even go about it? it seems like either way damage is done and it. sucks severely#tumblr is not the place to be talking about this but so far i haven't found Any place where this can be talked about so#yikes#this is about a family member yeah
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no offence but why are all the solutions to issues caused by trauma therapy. what if i Cant do that right but still want to not be like this.
#like why is this website like 'analyze what u think the cause of this issue is if u think its a childhood trauma get therapy for ur trauma#if not then do xyz thing thats much easier than having access to therapy'#like is there an xyz for when the root is trauma. please plese please. at least tell me im allowed to talk to ppl abt it#idk if its smart for me to do that or not#im actually getting kind of like. rly upset suddenly like idk#like i feel like the step one i keep being presented in healing and getting better with issues caused by trauma is.#not being in the situation that caused the trauma. but it feels so impossible for me to ever get out#and im just trying to do what i can to like. heal or deal with it as much as i can but ik thats not much when im still in tht situation#and feel so trapped in it#like just. ugh such a selfish thing to say abt an issue tht affects so many others sm worse than me#but like. couldnt late stage capitalism and the recession its brings with it not have happened like. 20 yrs from now#so i didnt have to deal with the fact that getting out of my traumatic situation is impossible alongside the traumatic situation#just idk. it all sucks sm and i just wanna get out of it. can we please find a way to make tumblr accts private so#i can fianlly start a facking yt without weirdos deciding the interactions w freinds and vent posts i use this acct for#are their entertainment bc ithink having a 'job' saying my silly little thoguhts abt media online is my only hope love and light#flappy rambles
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it's actually really adorable reading my notes while i was going through heavensward for the first time
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#THAT WAS NEARLY EXACTLY TWO YEARS AGO ?? march ily fr#i am. so enthusiastic here. evidently so very passionate abt ffxiv n i was enjoying myself sm it makes me smile so much#this is so funny the lil gbf notes i have here too#oh my god i was playing ffxiv n gbf actively back then that is a nightmare#oh yeah damn i empathized sm w my wol#i'm. still really grateful actually bcs ffxiv genuinely helped w making it easier for me to cry#this actually hits hard but in a way that. sort of comforts me#in the end i'm proud of myself for improving n stuff n. perhaps yeah healing from some stuff that happened a few months prior#but like. ffxiv rlly did help. i was an anxious n social wreck then n had no support system other than my family n stuff like video games n#i think writing got even harder for me for a while#but ffxiv rlly just#it helped a lot. n i'll forever be grateful for that#yeah that reminds me. drk's rlly special to me bcs it rlly reminded me of some things that helped me be kinder to myself#n now just. looking back ik i've gone a long way. n just reading this from the past makes me really proud of myself#'i don't fucking know how to phrase this' while talking abt hope n resolve is still so me#i'm rlly gna sleep it's nearly 3 n help tumblr's rlly one of my diaries or wtvr atp but#i mean. i won't write it all ofc but i'm just. no matter what i'll always have myself. n my family. esp apollo.#i'm rlly proud of myself n my. resolve is renewed damn i'm motivated but i'll sleep
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Tw: SA
I couldn’t move. And when i had thought the realization that my legs weren’t listening to my brain, I tried again. And when I couldn’t get them to moved, I knew I was at the mercy of the body currently dominating mine. And then my view goes areal and I see us from above and I see how I’m laying half on my side facing away from him. And the room has a blue hue. And he’s on my right side. And i wasn’t scared. It was like physical fear wasn’t a chemical possibility. I knew I was being raped and that I had been drugged and that I couldn’t move at all but I was awake. For a moment. That’s all I remember until we pull up to the abandoned house. To be continued lol
If you froze, you’re valid. You aren’t a failure for not doing more. It doesn’t mean you wanted it. It just means that your brain decided that freezing was the safest option, and that’s valid. You aren’t wrong.
#sa survivor#tw sa#tw abuse#tw drugging#tw rap3#human trafficking#tw kidnapping#trauma#flashback#healing#pine bluff#nwa#what happened to me#please i need to know#springdale#2016 tumblr#2010s#my post#nw arkansas#do you know who i am#i escaped#I got away#Xavier Williams#Maurice Williams#Maurice Williams jr#the plug#Xavier Williams drugged raped and kidnapped me and I barely got away. I just want to know more. anything at all.
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o-o
#you know what something is happening#im taking this meditation course to heal from … well all the dark things lets say (not regular meditatiom this one’s in theta waves)#and on wednesday coach did this amazing thing then yesterday i was followed by this artist ive been following for yeaars#and now i was just followed by truly iconic swiftie tumblr????#beginning of healing looks good
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