#trying to imagine romantic situations with men just pisses me off

[50000bears]

Now that I'm letting myself seriously revisit the idea that I could be a lesbian, it's getting difficult to find even fictional men attractive. I must be onto something.

[chaostroberry1]

Hello! How are you? Could I have some headcanons for Loki, Apollo, Poseidon and Adam (platonically) with a human reader who likes her own body but sometimes feels bad having such small breasts? She has a somewhat small build and is very thin due to genetics (I imagine with Adam the reader being his only daughter and being surrounded by men in the family they would not be able to understand her), sometimes it makes her feel very uncomfortable when someone He asks her why she is so thin and makes similar comments. Just soft and comforting things as sometimes it's hard for me to deal with that kind of comments. Thank you!

Sure thing💕, I believe what you mean is Loki,apollo,and Poseidon are romantic w reader, while Adam is platonic with reader? Don't be afraid ask me in the inbox to change anything if it isn't what you asked for. ^^

RoR characters (platonic and romantic) with a small darling.

Characters mentioned : Apollo, Adam, Loki, Poseidon.

Loki

- he doesn't know why you're even insecure. He thinks you are mad pretty. With or without extra assets. But looking at Aphrodite, I guess he can understand why many women want big assets.

- your chest is nice, whether big or small. He likes them either way cus they're a part of you.

- whenever you're feeling down, he'll do stuff like turning into a butterfly, or do random magic tricks to make you laugh. Think of it as a way he shows you his love.

- when he sees you looking at your body, he'd rush in and try to make you feel better. Pretty sure he'd make sure his pranks are extra funny while you're around, so that he could cheer you up.

- when anyone tries asking about your body, and why you're so thin, he'd turn the question around with a "why are you so ugly?" With a mocking smile, tilting his head to the side while playing innocent. the person was left offended.

- and after that, he'd just take your hand and carry you. Floating around with you in his arms, leaving you stunned, but happy.

Apollo

- you KNOW this man. He is literally the epitome of beauty, alongside Aphrodite. We got to see how he finds beauty in basically anything that he seems beautiful.

- so seeing his own darling being insecure, bro was flabbergasted. You??? Insecure??? About your beloved body??? No way.

- I mean he wouldn't know what it's like to be insecure, c'mon, it's apollo. But seeing you in such a sad little bubble was hurtful.

- I'm sure he'd approach the situation carefully, giving so many compliments in a day, that with kisses. Cus he loves you.

- when he sees you sad, he'd be word vomiting multiple reasons why you are the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. listing down why it's a bad idea to doubt your own looks and body.

- he loves your chest, why do you feel different? He thinks they're cute.

- if anyone asks you why you're so small or thin, he'd immediately come in and sweep you off your feet, carrying you with him to his place and into his chambers.

- let him show you just how much he thinks you're beautiful.

Poseidon

- what the hell. What the absolute hell are you talking about? How on earth are you still insecure about yourself when you literally managed to bag him? That's what he'd think.

- he doesn't get why women are always striving to be as pretty as Aphrodite or something, cus uhm...why? What's wrong with having a smaller build? Or being bigger. Either way, you made him fall for you.

- did some moron make you think that way? Tell him, and he'll cut their tongue off. Does he need to go on a killing spree to make you think differenly? You are the prettiest thing he's ever seen.

- he'd be so confused as to why you look so sad. Seeing you sad would make him more pissed than normal. There had to be someone in charge of putting you in that state of mind.

- why is it such a big deal if you have a small chest? They look fine to him. Not every woman needs a big chest, what's wrong with you? Can't you see that he likes your body?

- if anyone ever asked you about your body, he'd glare holes straight into their soul. If they say anything else, then I'm sorry, but they will be meeting hades down below 😞

- and you? In his chambers. Like apollo, he'll show you just how pretty he thinks you are.

Papa Adam

- who on earth made you sad? His father protectiveness is kicking in and he's ready to kick some divine ass.

- being his only daughter, you are surrounded by mostly men in the family. Luckily, you have eve, who's there, well and ready to hug you and cook you food when you're feeling down.

- your brothers wouldn't understand since they're dudes. But when they question things about your body, Adam will interfere.

- eve had to give them a good lecture about why women have certain reasons for wanting their body to be extra. And how insecurities work for them. And since most people are morons, they wouldn't have any sort filter when it comes to asking dumb questions.

- yeah he gets it now. Your brothers are scratching their heads while he's patting your head and saying that you shouldn't be insecure about your body.

- eve will be making some good food that night, and your brothers would come up to you with berries and flowers they picked, as a way of saying sorry.

- Adam would be nodding his head in approval, "you shouldn't think about your body so much, kiddo. You have to learn to love it. Okay?"

[owmylasagna-blog]

What do you think of this scene where Lee embraces Eddy near the ending of the movie, and then try to fight Bro to defend him? I found this really cute, and kind of conviced me Lee genuinely likes and cares for him (even if he don't return it, probably never will). I find a shame how many people don't talk about this.

You see… I start answering these questions and then I spiral out into analysis nobody asked for. Here goes!

I had to go back to rewatch these ending scenes of BPS to jog my memory and I can see what you’re talking about. Lee hugs Eddy, picking him up like a cat by the armpits. It’s brief but she’s drawn with little animated bubble hearts. This honestly surprised me, I’d sort of forgotten them from the scene. In this instance it does seem she is genuinely crushing on him. Or maybe she is enamored with how cute he is - I can’t overstate how comically tiny Eddy looks when she is holding him. I’d agree too that Eddy is less than thrilled. Very in character as usual.

Now Lee’s reaction to Eddy getting walloped by Bro is SO interesting. And not from any romantic or shipping perspective in my opinion. Honestly, all the Kankers witnessing Eddy’s abuse (EVERYONE witnessing Eddy’s abuse) is wildly transformational. I’m amazed by how much character analysis you can pack into this 2 minute scene just based on each characters’ reactions but I’m gonna try and stay focused on the task at hand. Lee.

I really admire Lee springing into action here. I think it speaks so much to her bravery, hard headedness, and role as a protector and leader of the pack. Throughout the show we see how she is the typical Oldest Sister and this shines through in how ready she is to defend Eddy. I always interpreted Lee as maybe the most hardened and cynical of men among her sisters, possibly because she remembers the most when it comes to her dad and stepdads. As the eldest, her mother probably levels with her the most about how men are good-for-nothin’, backstabbin’, two timin’, free-loadin’... you get the idea. I have no evidence of this but let's just indulge my inference.

Lee projects a lot of these ideas onto Eddy (the Kankers all do more generally with the Eds), often treating him more like a “boy toy” or thinking that through enough coercion and beating into submission he’ll become the semi-servile husband of her dreams. There is a lot to be said about the tension and toxic hetero relationship dynamic going on here but I can’t blame Lee for grabbing the bull by the horns, taking her control. Unfortunately for Eddy she chose Eddy, and she’s unaware and uninterested in how he feels about it all 99% of the time.

So you can imagine when she sees Eddy, the neighbor boy she has been tormenting because of all these mixed messages about men, getting abused by his brother, an older male family member. The pieces really have to be coming together for Lee of who the real enemy is in this situation. She has to relate and sympathize with Eddy at that moment. For the first time Lee humanizes Eddy, finally seeing him as just another kid that’s been wronged by the men in his life. Like, my heart aches thinking about this. Her blood must be boiling. She comes to his defense in a way we’ve only seen for her sisters. It’s very moving! I love her righteous feminine rage!

This brings up a bigger point of how BPS deviates in some ways from the typical dynamics of the show. The fact that the Kankers are banding together to protect their “boyfriends'' from the rest of the cul-de-sac kids is sort of new. Most episodes are Eds VS cul-de-sac kids or Eds VS Kankers or the occasional Eds VS cul-de-sac+Kankers. It’s nice to see one group of outcasts coming to the defense of another (despite likely not having the best intentions). It takes the Eds royaling pissing off the cul-de-sac kids to catalyze the solidarity between the two trios. And when Bro comes on the scene they get to redirect their antagonizing towards someone who deserves it a bit more.

I’d like to imagine after BPS there is a major shift in the way the Kankers treat and view the Eds. Maybe it’s the eddeddy blinders or maybe I’m still not 100% convinced Lee really has a crush on Eddy but this feels like it could be the start of a more amicable relationship. Or they silently respect each other from afar, Eddy still being tentatively terrified of her ferocity or ever getting on her bad side. But more generally Lee would back off on her antagonizing, and maybe unpack whether or not she likes Eddy or she liked the idea of Eddy. I really can’t see her being very interested in him romantically after BPS but she could have more sympathy and understanding than before.

Anyway it was nice to have a reason to talk about Lee more, so thanks for bringing it up!!! This is just my little interpretation that got way out of hand.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Kisses In the Dark-A PodPlay- Kinda. Day 6 of Exploring Con Content

Spoilers for Kisses in The Dark

Warnings up to chapter 5: Abuse, stalking, murder, eating/slurping up humans, nonconsensual kissing(it's how he kills people), cheating, implied/brief sex scenes, brief mentions of a past abortion. 

I HAD SO MANY ISSUES TRYING TO LISTEN TO THIS. Chapters 1-4 worked fine. However, with chapter 5 I could not listen past the 5:46 minute mark. 'All right' I thought, after trying to find other sites streaming it and getting the same error 'I'll just skip the chapter'. So I did, and at 5:21 of chapter 6, it also flashed that error.

So what I have below is essentially judging chapters 1-4. I had complaints about the narrative and romance progression, but since I can't see their whole arc, this will be about vibes.

So for this 8ish hour multi voiced audio series, the main love interest is voiced by Con O'Niell, named John. Opposite to the love interest voiced by Rhiannon Clements, Kate. 

My favorite things before we get deeper is the notable roles for Con O'Neill listed on the summary is Chernobyl(fair, as you'd likely recognize his voice) and The Batman. This came out Nov. 2020. The Batman came out 2022. So whoever wrote up this summary for the book Googled Cons IMDB, saw that he was in this movie, prayed that someone would care, and just slapped that on. Not knowing Con was mostly in the background and had less than 20 lines of dialogue. But can you imagine your only reference for the romantic lead of this story being the asshole from Chernobyl. Funniest shit ever. He had so many other roles to choose from guys! Maybe they didn't want his more queer roles to be listed for a straight romance? 

Now, I have a bias to favor Queer stories; I know this about myself and often try to stay to my own lane. Not out of hatred but so much of the media that I consume isn't queer. Be it movies or day time television. So what I read/listen to is one of the easiest spaces to curate exactly what I want.

So when I read the title/synopsis I was skeptical, but willing to give it a shot. 

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I am here for Con. I likely would not have listened to this project if not for him. In fact, I found John much more charming than I would have if John had been played by a different voice actor. Considering I was essentially just imagining a more pissed-off Izzy Hands being our protagonist. It's a real'if I didn't find this man hot, this would be creepy' situation.

This story is about a broken old Lovecraftian monster of a man who falls for the lady next door who's stuck in an abusive relationship. I realize that if either party swapped gender, or our male protagonist showed interest in men(beyond wanting to eat them), I know that I would have enjoyed this more. Because this is a standard romantic horror book, almost every cliché is touched and I predicted the twist that some people post online about. Yet there is something inherently queer in monster stories. Creatures that feel othered by society; that need to hide to be safe. So while yeah, it's a romantic novel, it still has some othered element to it. 

Overall I didn't hate it as much as I'd expected. I admire how each murder was described and Con adds a fun disassociated element to the character in his narration. Like he's been killing for so long, nothing phases him. The chapter where he kills five guys at the amusement park, Bloody Minds, was a highlight.

The romantic moments were sweet(that I could hear). The dancing and trying to show her the fun parts of life were very much trying to relate to the target audience. 

Again, I don't know exactly how it ends but see the story beats. If anyone below wants to summaries the story that tells me where these two end up in the end (together, dead, separate), I'd be grateful. I did enjoy this, I just can't find a way to listen to it, and I'd rather mentally close off this series than wait just in case.This is the only website I see anyone talking about this pod series.

I know it gets more cliché, but I was starting to care about where they go as a couple. Mainly cause I see it as a doomed love situation.

AS FOR CON!

Yes. Con either needed a better mic, and/or a pop filter. I got used to the static effect, and the editors did their best to cover it up with background sound. There are only a few points where it was noticeable. Con does a soft narrator voice that's easy to listen to, with some difficulty with enunciation and the fact I don't hear his accent all too often.

Yes. He is the most enjoyable part of this project. The lady doing the performance for Kate does a good job and I did grow to enjoy the performance, but she's just doing the role. Classic vampire craving humanity again storyline, with some fantastic imagery thrown in. I thought the age gap between the voice actors would bother me, but he's literally a century-old creature. So, eh.

Lovecraftian Izzy is a tag I keep an eye out for on AO3, so to see essentially that here was great. It was fun seeing him portray the souls trapped inside of John. Some more 'cringe' bits out of context, but if you listen to how his voice acts Mohg from Elden Ring, it gives off the same vibe. He portrayed desperate-sad-lonely falling in 'Love' very well.

The few sex scenes so far were non intrusive and fade to black in nature, besides her first fantasy.

It bugs me that we don't get a clear understanding on how The Kiss works. Cause he can kiss her skin, but it won't kill her? Is it an orifice thing? Cause he killed a guy sticking his tongue down his ear, so...

Highly recommend it if you already read these sort of stories or are on the fence and just want to hear Con and have some time to put it on in the background.

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Performance: 8/10 for everyone all around. A few duds in side characters with a few speaking lines, but overall good stuff from everyone. All the scenes between Kate and John are fun and well acted.

Editing: 8/10 Fun background music and sound effect stuff going on. Super nonintrusive, and when it is, it's too point.

Story/Writing: 6-7/10; you've seen it before. From what I've seen people complain online, the story gets worse at the very end. Don't really know why, but yeah. Sadly, I guessed that there was a god interfering here. I'm glad John didn't just immediately kill her abusive boyfriend, but god, I'm mad I couldn't hear about it. I read an Izzy Hands/John fic out of curiosity and it really pointed out how melodramatic and gothic the writing here is. The way this world is described is very fun, and something that could be fun to emulate in my own writing.

Pacing for an audio medium 7/10: The first chapter is a bit slow, but after a few murders, it picks up well.

Overall 7-8/10. Fun if you go in with low expectations. Again, this might go down if I ever finish Hard Shadows, True Stories, and Sacrifice. But I just can't find a way, sadly.

If you've read this and want somewhere to talk about it down below, don't be afraid to spoil! I love all the comments and likes I get for doing this.

Have an amazing day y'all!

@ivegotnonameidea thanks again for the rec!

Next, who knows? We'll see, probably a movie, and knock through some of everyone's suggestions.

[borathae]

I love how mature MC is in all of this. All of the boys are being messy and moody and mean at times and she’s just handling them with care bc she knows that they’re hurting. (She’s so much better than me in that respect bc I would have walked tf out 😭 I’m not dealing with a bunch of depressed grown ass men 😭 YALL ARE GROWN!)

Poor Tae. He was being very tasteless in this chapter, but I know why. At times I even suspected that he had his emotions turned off. But I also know that this is kind of out of character for him (not ooc in that he’s a completely different person, just ooc in that grief is making him act in ways that he wouldn’t have before. Bc I can imagine that this is his first time dealing with grief as big as this one). I love that MC is patient and understanding, even when her boyfriend is out sucking and fucking everybody he can get his hands on 😭 and I love that when Hobi asked her about it, she said “I mean I’m not a fan of it, but I kinda do it too.” I love that she wasn’t all that upset and was mainly worried about Jungkook (as was I). In that situation, I would have let Tae have his fun, but we’d need to talk when he gets home 😭 Like bro. We need to discuss the boundaries of our relationships so that no one gets hurt next time this happens (like Tae imagine if MC ran out the room crying when u were tongue kissing this random woman in front of her! Luckily she was cool and calm and collected, but damn! What if she wasn’t!)

The best thing about this is that I know that Tae will eventually look back on his actions and try to atone for them like the sweetheart he is. Bc I know he’s in a lot of pain right now, and that pain is blinding him to how his coping mechanisms are affecting his loved ones. Usually I’d be so pissed when a character is acting the way he is right now, and I’d be like “girl DUMP HIM!” but idk for some reason I was just like “oh tae…you sad whore :(“

And I’m worried about Jungkook :(

(I also have a question: MC said that Tae used to be big on romantic and monogamy and the One, and I know that things have changed and Yoongi and Jungkook and Jimin happened, but I’m kind of confused as to what that would look like now? Like, what would his dream romance look like in the context of the story? Im a bit confused on the logistics of it all as a monogamous person.)

Honestly MC's character development from book 1 to book 2 is so sexy to me like yes we stan an emotionally mature and secure QUEEN dkfadk I want her 😩

At times I even suspected that he had his emotions turned off. But I also know that this is kind of out of character for him

INTERESTING THEORY OMFG I AM LOOKING AT YOU WITH INTEREST

not ooc in that he’s a completely different person, just ooc in that grief is making him act in ways that he wouldn’t have before. Bc I can imagine that this is his first time dealing with grief as big as this one

Most fucking definitely :( I honestly think that loosing Jimin changed him. For 400+ years he always had his best friend by his side and now he is just gone forever. babyboy is going through so much

In that situation, I would have let Tae have his fun, but we’d need to talk when he gets home 😭 Like bro. We need to discuss the boundaries of our relationships so that no one gets hurt next time this happens

I like that mindset and I honestly think that MC would agree with you! She is definitely not 100% okay with it, but would rather talk about it with him first before getting too upset about it.

The best thing about this is that I know that Tae will eventually look back on his actions and try to atone for them like the sweetheart he is. Bc I know he’s in a lot of pain right now, and that pain is blinding him to how his coping mechanisms are affecting his loved ones.

THIS! OMFG I WANNA SMOOCH YOUR BRAIN! YES!

Usually I’d be so pissed when a character is acting the way he is right now, and I’d be like “girl DUMP HIM!” but idk for some reason I was just like “oh tae…you sad whore :(“

LMAOOA oh tae you sad whore HAHAHAH BRO this made me laugh so much jfajdf

MC said that Tae used to be big on romantic and monogamy and the One, and I know that things have changed and Yoongi and Jungkook and Jimin happened, but I’m kind of confused as to what that would look like now? Like, what would his dream romance look like in the context of the story? Im a bit confused on the logistics of it all as a monogamous person.

I honestly think that Taehyung said that to her at that time (he said it in chapter 06 of Sanguis Alpha) because she had no idea about vampirism and the supernatural world and he wanted to appear "normal" to her. He IS very big on romance and being with the one, but being with the one for Taehyung means having a little poly family of people he loves equally as much and all considers his true loves. So monogamy was only important to him at that time because he didn't quite know if she would be into polyamory. I hope this could answer your question 💜

[neonlights92]

RUN: Chapter III

Jeon Jungkook hops from bed to bed, sleeping with as many beautiful, rich women as he can possibly find time for.  He’s young and attractive, with a silver tongue that gets him practically anything he wants.  So when his friend and boss, Kim Taehyung, tells him it’s time to settle down, Jungkook takes it pretty badly.  And when he finds out that the woman he’s destined to marry is, in fact, his little sister’s best friend, he is less than impressed.

You have spent your entire life trying to forget the way you feel about Jeon Jungkook.   So when you find out that Jungkook is to be your husband - and that he is anything but pleased about it - your world is thrown into chaos.  How can you survive a loveless marriage with the man you are hopelessly in love with?

WARNINGS: Language, some violence and smut.

A/N:ENJOY!!!!

Jungkook shone.  He really, really did. 

You watched him from across the room - the way he drew people in like a magnet.  He was stunning.

You knew he could tell you were watching him.  The way his eyes flickered to yours, and the side of his mouth pulled up slightly. 

Perhaps he enjoyed the power he had over you.  After all, you were his wife.  It was only normal that he wanted you to be attracted to him… Wasn’t it?

You couldn’t ponder on that thought.  Couldn’t let yourself think about Jungkook wanting you to love him.  It was too much - too overwhelming.

You turned from him quickly, grabbing a flute of champagne and downing it in almost one gulp.  You cringed at the unfamiliar taste - and the burn at back of your throat - but you needed a distraction.  From your husband, of all people.

Your life really was ridiculous. 

“Y/N?” 

You turned quickly, snapped out of your reverie by the sound of your name. 

Kim Namjoon stared back at you, a small smile on his face.

“Namjoon,” You relaxed a little, lips splitting into a smile of your own, “Hi.  How are you?”

“I’m fine,” He gestured at the champagne flute in your hands, “You’re going to snap that.”

You looked down noticing your grip was like a vice and gasped. 

“Shit.”  You loosened your fingers and blushed, “That would’ve been embarrassing.”

He gave you a sympathetic look, “Tough week?”

You groaned, setting the glass to one side and shaking your head, “Tough month.” 

Namjoon and you were fairly close.  The two of you had grown up together - along with Nayeon and Jungkook - and you felt you could genuinely trust him.  He was the only member of the Special Seven - apart from Jungkook of course - that you felt you had a real friendship with.

Namjoon was different to other made men.

He was intelligent and grounded.  He didn’t act on impulse or throw himself into situations he couldn’t handle. 

Namjoon was like the centre of gravity that Bangtan desperately needed.  

You liked that about him.

“It’s not your doting husband, is it?” He asked, raising a sarcastic brow.

You assumed he knew the truth about your marriage - even down to the fact Jungkook had no romantic feelings towards you.  The two of them were close - brothers, really - and you imagined they shared everything with one another. 

“It’s not his fault,” You answered, though you weren’t sure you totally believed it, “We were both… Forced into this.”

“But you love him.”  The words weren’t questioning - they were a statement.  Namjoon always was so intuitive.

“How did you - I  mean… What are you talking about?” He scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Anybody with eyes can tell you love him Y/N - that you have loved him for years.” 

Something inside you twinged.

It wasn’t that you cared that other people knew.  You didn’t.  Love wasn’t something to be ashamed of.

It was just…. Well Jungkook knowing that other people knew.

Would he care?

And at this point… Did it even really matter?

“It’s not his fault he doesn’t feel the same way,” You said eventually, deciding it wasn’t even worth it to deny Namjoon’s accusations, “That’s just life.” “Jungkook is an idiot,” Namjoon wrinkled his nose, “He wouldn’t know love or commitment if it whacked him in the fucking face.  He’s spent his entire life dropping women’s panties and not sticking around to get to know them.  He thinks he’s incapable of anything more.”

You raised a brow, “I think he just doesn’t want anything more.”

“Bullshit,” Namjoon shook his head, “He doesn’t know what he wants.”

“And you do?” You replied, smiling a little at the way Namjoon’s brow furrowed into a frown. 

He seemed genuinely annoyed at your husband’s behaviour.

“I know he’s too much of a pussy to even open himself up to the idea of being with you for real,” He shrugged, hands reaching for his pockets, “Even told him so myself.” “Really?  And what did he say?  I’m sure that went down a treat…”

“Told me to fuck off of course.  But what else did I expect from the ever eloquent Jeon Jungkook?”  You laughed at that and so did Namjoon, shaking his head at his younger friend’s apparent stupidity, “Honestly.  I know Jungkook.  And I know that deep down inside, all he really wants is to be loved, Y/N.  And I think you could help him realise that.”

His words warmed you down to the tips of your toes.

“You think so?”

When he nodded, you felt something in your chest expand and lighten.

For the first time since you’d found out about your engagement, you felt a little better about things.

If Namjoon thought Jungkook had the capability to come around.. Then maybe things weren’t so bleak.

You placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled warmly, “Thank you.  For speaking to me.  It really has helped.” “Just being honest,” He shrugged, “Thought you deserved to know my opinion, I guess.” 

“You always have been the smartest Bangtan boy.”

A throat cleared from somewhere to your life and you both turned to look, lips lifting unconsciously into a smile at the sight of your husband.  But Jungkook wasn’t smiling.  In fact, his mouth was pulled taut into a firm line.

And he was… Glaring at Namjoon.

“What are you two talking about?” Jungkook asked, hard eyes turning on you.

You felt a little intimidated by the way his gaze seemed to sear straight through you. 

“Just catching up, Jungkookie.”  You watched your husband cringe at the nickname that rolled off Namjoon's tongue, “Don’t keep her locked away for so long again.”

“I’ll try not to Joonie.”  His eyes were still pitch black, “You ready to go, Y/N?  I’m getting tired.”

You arched a brow at his odd behaviour. 

If you didn’t know any better you would think he was jealous.

But there was absolutely no way Jungkook would feel jealous or possessive over you… Was there?   

“Okay.”  You nodded swiftly and turned to Namjoon, “It was nice speaking to you Joon.  I hope we can catch up again soon.” His eyes were soft and he smiled, “You can count on that.”

You didn’t even realise Jungkook’s hand had slipped into yours until he was pulling you away from the crowd almost roughly.  Namjoon gave you a little wave and a knowing wink, and you shook your head, confused by your husband’s sudden shift in behaviour.

There was no way he was actually jealous, was there?

Not after knowing the way you felt about him.

Not after pushing you away himself and making it clear he wasn’t interested in a real marriage.

No.  You shook your head.

He must just be tired, like he’d said.

When the two of you made your way outside, you finally tugged your husband’s hand and forced him to look at you.

“What?” The word was sharp and angry.

You flinched, “Are you… Okay?”

“Just peachy.  Enjoyed your little chat with Namjoon?”

You followed him down the marble staircase, towards the garage.

“Wait.  Is that why you’re acting like this?”  You were speaking to Jungkook’s back - why was he walking so damn fast? - as you struggled to keep up, “Because I was talking to Namjoon?”

Your husband decided not to answer as he grabbed the keys wordlessly from the valet and continued making his way towards the car.  You trailed after him, feeling dejected and hurt by his sudden sourly attitude. 

What right did he have to be angry at you when all you had been doing was talking to a friend?

“Jungkook!” 

His name flew out of you angrily, just as the two of you reached the car.

He froze for a moment, and then turned, eyes hard like two glass balls of obsidian black.

You finally caught up with him, confused and hurt at the way he was treating you.  It made absolutely no sense.  

“Why are you mad at me?” “I’m not mad.” You rolled your eyes, “Obviously you are.  I’m not stupid.  So why are you mad?” “I’m not mad,” He answered unlocking the car and - despite his apparent fury - opening the passenger door for you, “I just find it sweet that you and Namjoon seem to get on so well.”

He slammed his own car door shut and your fingers twitched as you clicked in your seatbelt.

“You’re being stupid.” He turned to you again, his eyes wide, “Sorry what?  This coming from the woman that basically pissed on me in front of Jihyo to mark her territory?” Ok.  Now you were mad.

“How the fuck can you even compare the two?”  You couldn’t believe how irrational he was being, “She was literally all over you.” “So was Namjoon!”

“Oh my god.”  You tugged a hand through your hair, “You’re an idiot.” “I’m an idiot am I?  For finding it uncomfortable that my wife and my best friend spent the evening flirting right in front of me?” “Why do you even care?”  Your eyes were watering with angry tears but you bit them back, “You made it very clear that you aren’t interested in making this marriage work the way I want it to.  So what does it matter if I flirt with Namjoon?” You knew maybe your words weren’t the wisest.  Perhaps you should’ve assured him that the reality was all you’d spoken to Namjoon about was how much you loved your oblivious husband.

But he’d hurt you.  You sort of wanted to hurt him back.

“Right,” He seethed, “So it’s not alright for me to have an affair, but totally fine for you to?”

Your heart clenched.

“Oh my god.  Oh MY GOD.  Jungkook what the fuck?  We were talking about you for god’s sake.  Okay?!”  You pinched the bridge of your nose and felt the tears catch on the edge of your fingers, “What the hell?  Why would I ever cheat on you?  Not only am I completely in love with you but Namjoon is your best friend!  Jesus.”

The words were like lava spilling from your mouth, hardening everything they touched.

You couldn’t take it back.  It was all out there in the open.

Completely in love with you, you’d said.

Shit.

You squeezed your eyes shut, counting to ten.  Waiting for something.  Anything.

After a moment, your husband cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry.”

Your pulse jumped.

“What?” You opened your eyes and when you looked at Jungkook, he was already regarding you with something… Different.  It wasn’t the same affection he usually regarded you with.  It was… Deeper.  You didn’t know what it was.

But it sort of scared you.  In a good way.

“I said I’m sorry.  You’re right.  I don’t… I don’t know what came over me.”  He shook his head and tugged a hand through his hair, “I was...Jealous.”

The word fell like a stone between the two of you.

“What?”  Your voice was like the wind, almost, “Why would you be jealous?” He smiled - small and gently - and shrugged, “You’re my wife.  That means something, doesn’t it?  So I don’t - I wasn’t thinking straight.  I reacted badly.  Forgive me.”

Your heart felt like it was going to fall out of your chest. 

“So it was a possessive thing,” You answered, licking your bottom lip.  Your husband’s eyes flickered to your mouth, “You wanted to stake your claim on me.”

He shook his head, “No.  It was more than that.”  He clicked his tongue, “I was jealous that you weren’t with me.  He made you laugh.  I hated that.”

Now you were sure you must be dreaming. 

There was no way your husband was saying these things.

You tucked your lip between your teeth, “What does that mean?” He shook his head, eyes searching your face before they fell on your mouth again.

“I don’t know.”

He leaned in slightly and you held your breath.

“Are you going to kiss me?”  You whispered - nerves wracking through your body hotly.  

It felt like the world stood still for a moment.  And then Jungkook’s eyes softened like butter. “Yeah.  I am.  If that’s okay?”

You nodded stiffly. And then he kissed you.

Your body hummed to life at the contact eyes falling closed immediately as you allowed your husband to bundle you up in his arms.  It was uncomfortable of course - cramped in the front seat of the car - but Junkook picked you up and pulled you towards him, anyway.

You giggled as your dress caught on the gear shift, and your husband laughed, pressing his forward to yours, settling you into his lap.

“You look beautiful,” He told you honestly, eyes earnest, “Did I tell you that already?” You shook your head - breathless and hot all over.

Jungkook - your Jungkook - was kissing you.

He was kissing you.  And he seemed to be really enjoying himself.

“Well you do,” He said decidedly, pressing his lips to your collarbone as he pushed the strap of your dress further down your arm, “You look beautiful.” Your heart caught in your chest, and it felt almost like you were on fire.

Everything Jungkook’s lips touched tingled, and even though you knew this was actually happening, it still felt like some kind of vivid dream.

“Thank you,” You whispered breathlessly, not knowing what else to say.

Jungkook smiled softly at your words, his mouth moving towards your collarbone and pressing kisses against the skin there. 

“I love these freckles,” He groaned, tracing the dots with the tip of his nose, “So cute.” Your heart flipped and you sighed, “Thank you.” 

He pulled away a little and pressed his forward to yours, chuckling softly.

“That’s all you have to say?”

You felt dazed as you stared back at him, “Huh?”

“Thank you,” He whispered, pressing a kiss to your brow, “It’s all you have to say, it seems.”

“I’m a little…” You cleared your throat and felt a shiver crawl up your spine as Jungkook tucked some hair behind your ear, “Lost for words.”

Your husband smiled - self-satisfied and a little proud, “C’mere.”

He leaned towards you and once again you were swept up by his kisses.  It felt as though you were spinning out of axis - but it was so good.  Nothing had ever come close to this and you told yourself that if this was it - if this was the only time Jungkook was going to kiss you - then you were going to make it count.

You brought your shaky hands up to his chest, intending to push his jacket off his shoulders, but losing your nerve along the way.  Instead you tightened your grip on the material of his blazer.  You felt him smirk against your lips.

“Want me to take it off?” He asked, after a moment, pulling away so he could search your face for an answer.

You expected him to be cocky - smug - but instead his gaze was just questioning.  Your heart twisted. 

“Yeah,” You nodded furiously, “Please.”

He smiled again, and did as you’d told him to, removing the jacket and throwing it somewhere to your left.  You continued kissing him with fervor - making up for your lack of experience with enthusiasm - and after a while you felt his lips venture towards your throat… 

And then lower to the valley of your breasts.

And - for some reason unbeknownst to you - you froze.

Jungkook took that as a cue to stop and pulled away, a dark brow arched.

“Sorry.”  His hair was all out of place, “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to-”

“No, I liked it.”  You assured him, feeling your heartbeat pulling out of your chest, “I just… This is my first time doing anything like…. This.”

“Right.”  He still seemed unconvinced.

“But I’m enjoying myself.  I was enjoying myself.  All of it.” 

Jungkook’s eyes were warmer than you’d ever seen them.  He pushed your hair out of your face and bit his bottom lip.

“We should probably stop anyway.”  

Your heart fell. 

“Oh.”

“We’re in the front seat of a car - anybody could walk by,” He added on, eyes following your expression carefully, “Not exactly a good idea.”

“Okay,” You nodded, suddenly realising the position you were in.

Jungkook had pushed the straps of your dress down your arm - exposing more of your cleavage than you probably were comfortable showing in public - your hair was a mess, your lips were puffy and your make up was probably all smudged.

You made to climb off your husband’s lap, before Jungkook grabbed the back of your head gently.  He forced you to look at him.

“I was enjoying myself, too.  For the record.”

And then he kissed you again, once, soundly - on the mouth.

God. 

You really did love him.

//

The days after your tryst in the car were filled with uncertainty.

Jungkook had driven the both of you home in almost complete silence - save for the murmuring of the radio - and when you climbed into bed that night, the only thing he offered you was an arm to cuddle into.

You’d taken it of course - gladly - and every night since then the two of you moved towards one another as soon as the bedside lamp clicked off.

But it wasn’t enough for you.

And apart from night time snuggling - nothing much had changed about your relationship.

But after having felt Jungkook’s lips on your own - felt the way his kisses seared straight through you - you wanted that feeling again.  And despite what he’d said about enjoying himself… You wondered if maybe that was just to spare your feelings.

Perhaps he’d realised all at once how little he was attracted to you.

Maybe that’s why he hadn’t made a move since.

The thought caused your throat to clog up, and your heart to clench, so you pushed it all back down, trying not to think about it.

Instead you found another pet project - this one a pair of dark blue jeans that Jungkook had ripped a hole through.  You’d heard him complaining to his butler, Minhyuk, about how they were his favourite pair, and you wanted to fix them for him.

You sat in the same armchair you always did - tucked into the corner of the master bedroom - and listened to the radio mumbling gently in the background.  It was some stupid cheesy love song, but still the lyrics caused the same feelings you tried so very hard to push back down, to bubble up.

A figure in the doorway paused your actions and you looked up.

It was your husband.  His eyes were unreadable.

“Jungkook,” You smiled softly, “Hi.”

You couldn’t hide your content at seeing him - could never hide how happy he made you - and you resigned yourself to stop trying.

He didn’t say a word.  Instead he walked over to you carefully and fingered the material of the jeans.

“Oh.”  You laughed gently, “I just heard you talking about them the other day.  Thought I could pull my weight around here.”

Your movements had stopped, but Jungkook’s big hand came to rest over your own.

He bent down so that his face was level with yours.

“You didn’t have to do that.”  His eyes were like two balls of fire now, melting you from the inside out.

You felt your bottom lip tremble, “I know.”

And then his mouth was on yours.  He took the jeans out of your hand and set them to one side, grabbing you by the waist and hoisting you up as if you weighed nothing at all.

You giggled a little, and when Jungkook pulled away to watch you laugh, he couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped out.

“You’re so…”  He didn’t finish the sentence, instead leading you over to the bed and laying you down.

His eyes were questioning as he played with the hem of your t-shirt, and without a second thought you lifted your arms, letting him pull it over your head.  It was embarrassing of course.

The first time Jungkook would see you in underwear and you were wearing the most unflattering beige bra.  But he didn’t seem to mind.

He helped you unhook the bra, and when your hands came to cover your breasts, he stopped you.

“Let me see them.  Please.”  His eyes were hot and you felt like you were suffocating almost.

You nodded wordlessly and pulled your arms down, watching as Jungkook took in your naked torso.  

“Fuck.  So beautiful.”  He whispered, leaning down and pressing his mouth against your breasts. 

You arched against him, feeling as though you were going to explode just from that one touch, and Jungkook smiled, “So sensitive, too.”

His lips moved to your nipple, and he sucked gently, watching you attentively.  His body was completely taut - waiting for your reactions - and when you moaned wantonly he smirked.

“Fuck,” You whispered and your husband clicked his tongue teasingly.

“Such profanity.”  He smirked and tugged your trousers down slowly, “Guess we’ll have to clean your mouth out with soap, Angel.” The nickname was like a surge of warmth, straight to your core.  He’d barely touched you and already you were panting like you could no longer take it.

“Please Jungkook,” You begged, not even knowing what you were begging for, “Please.” “Alright, shhh, shhh.  I’ll give you what you want baby,” His lips played with the hem of your panties, and after a moment he pulled those down too, “C’mere.” And then his mouth was on you and it felt like time itself had stood still.  You arched your back almost completely off the bed - and if it wasn’t for Jungkook’s steadying hands on your thighs you might have melted to the ground right then.

He licked at you diligently, and you found yourself winding tighter and tighter like a coil about to break from the pressure.

“Oh god… Oh god…”

His eyes bore straight through yours, and you felt like you might pass out from the intensity.  

“That’s it,” He whispered, removing his mouth and using his hands instead, “Cum for me Angel.”

And finally, a wave of indescribable pleasure washed over you.  It was so strong you thought you might shatter into a thousand pieces.

Jungkook coaxed you through your climax, and when you finally came down from your high - your bones like jelly - he climbed up your body and pressed a kiss to your lips.

“A thank you,” He smiled boyishly, “For the jeans.”

Your eyes were round and wide as you stared up at him, “But don’t you want-” 

“Nope.  Don’t need it.”

Jungkook pulled you under the covers, wrapping an arm around your waist and bringing you towards his chest. 

“But  Jungkook-”

“Sleep Angel.”  A soft kiss was pressed to your forehead, “We’ve got plenty of time for everything else.”

And in that heart-wrenching moment you realised that Jeon Jungkook not only owned your heart - he owned your body, mind and soul too.

“Okay,” You whispered, pressing a kiss against the firm plane of his chest, “Goodnight.” 

That night, you slept like a baby.

//

[orionsangel86]

I’ve been thinking a LOT this morning about this comparison that keeps getting drawn between what meta writers are saying now about 15x20 and Destiel and the JohnLock Conspiracy(TM) and aside from just linking you all back to THIS POST by @winchestersingerautorepair which explains it all perfectly anyway, I do feel the need to stress some very clear and very glaringly different points that basically prove outright that this situation is Not That.

1. We already have confirmed Canon Destiel. The romantic feelings are confirmed in text. Destiel is canon. Arguably currently textually unrequited canon (yeah right) but it IS canon. It’s also Word of God canon. Basically, where we currently are is actually more canon than even Aziraphale and Crowley ever were. You can NOT say the same for JohnLock.

2. The JohnLock Conspiracy was all about how the actual final episode of the show was a “fake” bad finale, and how they would release a secret finale which would fix everything and make JohnLock canon a few weeks later. There was zero actual evidence of this anywhere. (Sorry JohnLock shippers, I feel for you I really do, but I just couldn’t ever see any evidence that the secret good finale was ever gonna happen.)

In contrast, we haven’t seen the Supernatural finale yet. It actually is next week. This is FACT. 15x20 is not a figment of Destiel shippers imaginations. We really do have one episode left which hopefully will give us everything we wish for.

3. All of this comparison has come out of meta writers saying 15x19 was written like a finale. We are calling it a finale and that’s why for some reason we are being mocked and compared to the JohnLock conspiracy... but... did those people who mock us not watch 15x19?!? (or at least get a plot summary and watch the final 10 minutes like me).

I can’t speak for my own opinion on the episode being bad, as I haven’t watched it. I have seen reactions both saying it was bad, and others saying it was good, or funny, or “so bad it’s good” but like, whatever. The point is, it WAS a finale. It was the episode that wrapped up the mytharc plot, had a callback montage to brother best moments and had them driving off into the sunset together now they are finally free. Like??? Call it whatever you want, but that was a finale.

Which is WHHHYYYY its SO WEIRD that there is still one episode left. What could POSSIBLY BE OUTSTANDING?

4. So yes. the FACTS are that UNLIKE Sherlock, Supernatural DOES have two finales. This isn’t some conspiracy. It’s a fact. We can joke that 15x19 was the “bronly” finale, but however you wanna see it, that was a finale. 15x20 can only be the long epilogue. The episode that wraps up the entire show. The episode JohnLock shippers dreamed about.

I really don’t mean to rub salt in the wound either. I don’t wanna insult anyone who believed in the conspiracy at the time, because hope is a funny thing that can have devastating effects - believe me, I know. But mocking us and trying to say the two are the same thing is just... wrong.

We don’t know how 15x20 will play out. But we do know the following FACTS:

Chuck is defeated. The big bad is gone.

There are no raised stakes anymore

the brothers are free (textually they confirmed this)

Jack as the new God, has fulfilled Castiel’s prophecy that he would bring about peace and balance to the universe. It’s done.

There is no story left concerning any of these big plot points.

BUT

Castiel is still in the Empty

Sam didn’t reunite with Eileen

Dean hasn’t said a damn thing about Castiel’s textually explicity confession of homosexual love for him

These are literally the ONLY things left to wrap up. There is NO WAY that the finale is going to be just a brothers road trip, growing old together, meeting random women, having kids and saying “Castiel Adam Jack Winchester you are named after the bravest men I know” kind of ending! It would be UNTHINKABLE for Dabb to do that.

I am seriously rubbing my temples on this whole thing because there are still so many naysayers that are pissing me off - particularly certain wannabe SPN writer BBFs who steal meta from Tumblr and pawn it off as their own “journalism” spewing crap all over Twitter about the matter because they have super secret insider knowledge from people who worked on the show that confirmed Misha isn’t back.

Oh Misha’s not back you say? Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck you. Everyone knows he went back to filming. He confirmed it himself over and over again until the CW finally panicked and told him to shut his damn mouth and change his story. These are the same people who have been feeding rumours into fandom for years to misdirect us. The same people who probably convinced KNOWN DESTIEL SHIPPER and SPN writer Meghan Fiztmartin to laugh at, deny, and mock Destiel shippers on Twitter literally only a few weeks before IT WENT CANON. They are doing everything in their power to put us off the scent. They don’t want us to know Cas is back because the ENTIRE ENDING RESTS ON CAS COMING BACK AND IF WE ALL KNEW IT WOULD BE SPOILED. DESTIEL IS THE ENDGAME THEY DON’T WANT SPOILED.

This is not anything like the JohnLock conspiracy because we have actual facts to back it up. We have all the evidence, we have all the logic, the narrative is BEGGING for the love story to be wrapped up. Dean MUST use his words and tell Castiel he loves him. Even the General Audience at this point can see that. So I beg you, stop mocking us for something you don’t know anything about.

If there is ONE THING you should trust right now. It’s the meta writers. We are the ones who have been telling you for YEARS that Destiel is a thing. That there was writer intent. Hell, we even predicted Jack would become God in the end (like seriously anyone with any understanding of literary analysis could see it was going that way). Mocking us after we have already been validated by canon confirmation of the DeanCas romance is just idiotic at this point.

[fleet-admiral-hiba]

Greeting, what is some stupid couple shit the admirals has done with their S/O? Goofing around, insides jokes, beind caught in prank war. Thank you :)

Greetings anon, we are in for a wild and stupid run. Please enjoy

ADMIRALS DOING STUPID THINGS WITH THEIR SO

SAKAZUKI /サカズキ

You tried to find a weak spot inside his massive body. Cause you were ticklish, but he didn't know that, yet.

So imagine this, you, possibile half a meter short of him, trying everytime to see if he is ticklish

Always in the privacy of your home, cause you know, he has a face to maintain. He can't be seen shoulder throwing you and carrying you like a ragdoll every time you try to piss him off

You can't and won't find it, the only thing you will receive is just his smug grin every damn time

Trust me, it has become a war, but you won't win anytime soon

Low key enjoys you trying to outpower him and he enjoys more putting you in your place than anything else

BORSALINO /ボルサリーノ

You. Him. Pranks. That's all I'm saying

Legit, you have an ongoing war that spare no one. But don't worry, your pranks and jokes are all in good spirits. It made some toughened Marines laugh and cackle

It's something that started one simple day, when he was so bored he decided to prank you to see your reaction. And you delivered

Oh you were laughing yeah, but you entered God mode there. He wanted to play than you would play

The base, the shipyard, your home. There's no place where one of you isn't waiting for a prank to happen

But only you two can understand the rules of this game, to an outsiders this is something akin to a normal couple activity, like trying to surprise the other with gift or something. Someone may say it's almost romantic

You both are head to head and there is no surrender in sight for both of you. You are too competitive and stubborn to just concede

KUZAN/クザン

You two liked to goof around a lot. Once you used your chair as a chariot to attack him

Once he ragdolled you around the base like you were some piece of clothing to hang

You ended up in a food war when you wanted to bake a cake, smudging frost in his face and him smudging you with flour. You had to clean for hours to make the kitchen presentable

Oh and don't get me started when it's winter. You spend hours playing in the snow and snow balling, it's legit a tradition

One that somehow involves all his colleagues. It's a legitimate war with you on a side and him in another. Legit even Sakazuki participates and aid you in your task. It's something amazing. Those days are the only ones where you see grown ass men have fun and rookies hitting their superior without getting fired on the spot

It's just your nature to be this goody, and him... This suave mofo can be petty when he wants so it's a win win situation

[crash-cinematic-universe]

rumor has it

pairing: peter maximoff/reader

summary:  Idk if im doing it in the right one but whatever. Can you write a peter maximoff imagine where he has a girlfriend(reader) that has Allison Hargreeves powers from The Umbrella Academy - anon

warnings: none! peter is kind of Insecure but honestly when is he not

notes: this is a shor(er) and sweet one! it is 1 AM where i am so sorry if I missed some mistakes! im on the verge of collpase <3

taglist: @stranger-names @gooseyhouse @parkersdarling @amourtentiaa @toodles-me-doodles​ 

“I heard a rumor you stopped talking,” You groaned, watching as Peter’s lips went from a blur to a thin line. He slumped over, pouting at you with puppy dog eyes. You just stared back at him, your eyebrows furrowed and shoulders tense. As much as you loved Peter, he could be a real pain in the ass sometimes.

“Peter, look, I know you’re bored, but Hank really needs this motor fixed and I promised him it would be done by tomorrow. I need to work, but I can’t focus with you here, dollface, you know that,” You attempt to cheer him up, but he’s still looking upset. “The minute this essay is complete you’ll have me all to yourself, no distractions. My one-hundred percent, undivided attention,”

“How long will that take?” The rumor had worn off, but you didn’t mind. Peter looked at you, and the slight feeling of regret washed over you. He was just bored, and probably a little lonely. To be completely honest, this project would probably take you the rest of the day to complete, and probably the better part of tomorrow. It was a complicated motor, and even though you’re quite handy, this type of project is always a challenge. 

“The rest of today… probably a few hours tomorrow--” Peter sighed dejectedly and rested his chin on his arm. Disappointment was written across his face, and it seemed as if he was trying to hide it, albeit poorly. He understands that the work that you and Hank do is important, and he realizes that sometimes he can be a little overbearing, but lately you’ve been so busy he almost never gets to see you. 

“Can’t you just rumor Hank into forgetting about the motor for today?” Oh, you’ve definitely considered it. You take Peter’s face in your hands.

“You know I can’t, Peter,” He leans into your touch. It’s adorable. “It’s a violation of the trust and boundaries we established. Plus, he’ll probably get pissed at me and rip me in half,”

“He’d have to go through me, first,” Peter laughed softly. There’s something eating away at him, the gnawing feeling of worry tearing at his stomach. 

Peter Maximoff isn’t an idiot. He hears the whispers in the hallways, he sees the way the students look at him when he’s with you. They all think you can do better. They’ve all placed bets to see how long you last before you kick him to the curb. You’d think being a hero would make him more popular, but no. Peter Maximoff is just as much of a loser now as he was in high school, X-Men be damned. 

So, yeah, Peter Maximoff isn’t an idiot, but he is a loser. He’s a loser in a mansion surrounded by people who aren’t losers-- more specifically, your socially anxious lab partner. Everyone expected you and Hank to eventually end up together; you were both science nerds, you both enjoyed relatively isolated events, and you both moved at the same pace. That’s probably why the entire mansion was shocked to its core when Peter wound up being your boyfriend. Of course, he loves you with everything he’s got, but there’s always that feeling of doubt settled over him. It was too much, it was all too much and he needed to get away. 

“Whatcha’ thinking about, gorgeous?” Peter got so lost in thought, he forgot about the situation at hand. 

“I-- ” He sounded uneasy. This is how everything unravels-- he gets too honest and scares you off. Peter didn’t pay attention in history class, but he’s pretty sure Rome fell because some old guy was insecure and drove his girlfriend away. “I just, uh, don’t really want to be alone right now.” Peter thought he sounded pathetic. You thought he sounded sweet. 

You looked down at the motor on your desk, the tiny screws and mechanical components jumping out at you like your desk was a pop-art installation. With a smile and a shrug, you pushed away the bits and pieces and stood up, pulling Peter up with you.

“Hank is just gonna have to suck it up and wait another day,” Peter grins as you pull him close. You collapse on your bed, and Peter quickly gets comfortable beside you. His head is resting against your shoulder, and his long arms are locked around you. He plays with your fingers, examining every mark and every scar with the focus of a brain surgeon going into work. Sometimes you wondered if Peter was just trying to memorize every single feature and every little detail that you had. He was.

“Y’know, your mutation is so cool,” Peter muses. You press a light kiss of his temple. “You can literally get anything you want. You could get anyone to do anything for you at any given moment. Everyone in the world is like a video game character to you; all you have to do is give a command and we follow it,”

“I guess it’s alright,” You shrug. 

“It’s amazing.” Peter’s fingers are drumming against your arms at an impossible speed, but you don’t mind. “You’re amazing.”

“You’re pretty cool, too,” The drumming comes to a sudden stop. The gentle rhythm of Peter’s breathing falters as well.

“Eh,” He mumbles. “Compared to everyone else, I’m pretty lame. Compared to you? I’m nothing more than a speck of dust in the galaxy that is you.”

“Aw, Peter, you don’t give yourself enough credit,” It makes you sad to hear him say negative things about himself, but that’s part of building confidence. Sometimes you just need to be proven wrong. 

“Remember when you saved the entire mansion when Cerebro exploded? Or that time you kicked ass on that space mission we went on? If I tried to rumor you into being cool, nothing would happen because you’re already pretty amazing.”

“You really think so?” Peter looks up at you, and something about the look in his eyes makes you want to hold him close and never let him go.

“I know so.” For now, that was enough. 

“Y’know, I heard a rumor that you loved me.” Peter jokes, glancing up at you. You look right back at him.

“That’s a beautiful rumor,” A smile grows on your face. Your companion seems content with that. “Funnily enough, I heard the same one about you.”

“Rumors travel on the devil’s radio,” Peter giggles. You wish you could put his laugh on a CD and keep it forever. 

“Who knew the devil was such a romantic?”

[troubatrain]

four times matthew was a fuckboy + one time he wasn’t

a/n: a repost from my old blog!

I.

You didn’t hate Matthew Tkachuk. Hate is a strong word and you were too polite to hate anyone. But you definitely weren’t keen on the new company your friend had been keeping since she started seeing Matthew’s teammate, Noah. You were just different. You liked safety and rules, and Matthew put most of his energy into breaking every rule possible. He was a rat, and he didn’t give a damn who knew. You were a romantic, and you’d watch Matthew take a different girl home frequently, and you could only imagine what he was like on the road. He was a straight up fuckboy, and you’d just prefer to be as far away from him as possible. Besides the strong differences between each other, you really didn’t hate him - until, maybe, right now.

“I would never date Y/N,” Matthew scoffs at your best friend, Hannah, “She’s got a stick up her ass, all the time.” “I don’t have a stick up my ass Matthew,” You bark back, “You’re just a shitty person, and I don’t want to date you either.”

“Why? Am I not your type?” Matthew snarks back, “I’m everyone’s type.”

“No Matthew, egotistical professional athletes who don’t know anything besides hit and skate aren’t my type,” You say, “Hold an intellectual conversation with anyone and I’ll be impressed.”

“You know what, forget I mentioned it,” Hannah tries to interfere, but the way Matthew’s blue eyes were narrowed at you, his nostrils flaring out just a little bit meant it was too late and you were well on your way to spending the rest of the night arguing with Matthew.

“I don’t need to hold bullshit intellectual conversations to get laid Y/N,” Matthew grumbles, “I’m sure that’s only what terrible guys you probably date do.”

“I don’t date terrible guys,” You defend, but deep down, he was actually right about that. You were nearing the end of six months of being single since your last relationship ended and dating wasn’t going - well.

“Oh, I forgot, you probably only date boring guys,” Matthew huffs, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to find someone who isn’t boring.”

Matthew stomps away, looking back to give you one more smirk that made your skin crawl. You couldn’t stand his smug smile, or the fact that he constantly gave you grief for being a good person. Or the time he accused  you of thinking you were better than everyone because you were smarter than them. 

“I can’t believe there was a point in my life where I thought you guys could be friends,” Noah says, shaking his head at the verbal battle you and Matthew just had, “I thought I could set you guys up - to date.”

“Why do you all think that?” You ask, looking at your friend and her boyfriend with actual concern.

“I don’t know, you’re sweet and nice and he’s not,” Noah shrugs, “It’s kind of cute.”

“Yeah, like imagine if you were the one to tame him,” Hannah says, wrapping her arm around her boyfriend's bicep while he pressed a kiss to her head - a reminder that you didn’t have that. Your eyes move to Matthew at the bar, while a girl was under his arm in less than five minutes.

“I don’t think anyone’s taming that monster,” You say, pointing to the man in question.

II.

When the weekend finally came around, you found yourself in the same situation you were in the week before. Matthew gave you daggers across the table while Noah and Hannah tried to convince the two of you to put your differences aside and be friends. Except, you didn’t want to be friends with Matthew, because you knew exactly how he treated his “friends”. In the past week alone, you’d watched him while he escaped a morning after with someone who happened to live in your building. You had the worst morning of your life when you stepped on the elevator only to meet with the face of the devil himself. You halted, stepping into the elevator and shaking your head at Matthew - asking him if he was leaving or your worst nightmare of him moving into your building was happening. He told you he was escaping from a booty call, his words not yours, and then joked about moving in just to bother you. You started bickering in the elevator, and then it made you late for work. That snowballed into missing an important meeting and you were cursing Matthew internally for the rest of the day.

“I just don’t understand why you both keep pushing this,” you shout, gesturing between Matthew and yourself, “We are not friends.”

“Yeah, she’s right,” Matthew agrees, for the first time since you’d been introduced to each other.

“Why is that the only thing you’ve ever agreed on?” Hannah asks, looking sincerely concerned at the two of you.

“Because his opinions on everything else are terrible,” You say, walking over to the bar to go get yourself a drink. You can feel a large presence behind you and you turn around to be met with Matthew’s smug smile again, “You can’t just leave me alone.”

“I’m getting another drink, not everything is about you,” Matthew remarks, flagging down the bartender far easier than you could have. He orders you both a drink, and you decide to just take it - too tired to argue. While you were waiting you scanned the bar, only to spot your ex boyfriend across the bar.

“Fuck,” you mutter, grabbing Matthew’s attention.

“God what did I do now?” Matthew groans, and then he follows your eyes, “Do you know that guy?”

“Uh, yeah, he’s my ex,” You say, dropping your drink, “Can you tell Hannah I left.”

“Wait no-,” Matthew says, grabbing your arm and pulling you closer to him, “I’m going to leave after this, I’ll take an Uber with you.”

“Are you going to drop me off then go hook up with whoever lives in my building?” You ask, crossing your arms and looking at him.

“I’m going to get you home safely and whether or not I leave the building is none of your business,” Matthew argues back, his eyes flickering up to look behind you and a protective arm snakes around your waist.

“Is that Y/N?” You hear your ex’s familiar voice, and suddenly Matthew’s arm made more sense.

“Oh, Alex, hi,” You say, trying to ignore the burning sensation you felt under Matthew’s touch, but your anxiety about seeing your ex disappeared almost immediately, like with Matthew there nothing could hurt you.

“How are you?” Alex asks, “Is this your boyfriend? I didn’t think you’d move on after me.”

“Yeah,” Matthew cuts you off before you could deny it, “We were just heading out, you know we’ve got plans for the night.”

Matthew gave Alex a wink and a look that said not to fuck with him and grabbed your hand, pulling you out the bar. A part of you was pissed, like he’d just told your ex boyfriend that not only were you dating you were leaving your night out early to fuck. But a part you didn’t care about it, Alex was the worst, and even in that second he reminded you why you broke up in the first place, because he never stopped talking down to you.

“I can’t believe you dated someone who talks to you like that,” Matthew says, pulling out his phone to call an Uber, “Your taste in men is terrible.”

“Well he thinks I’m dating you, so my taste is terrible,” You say, sliding into the car once Matthew opens the door for you.

Matthew slides into the other side of the car, getting your Uber driving and asking him how his night is before turning to you, “Do you really think I’m that awful?”

Okay, yes, it was sweet that he protected you. Yes, it felt nice to have his arm around your waist. Yes, it was great to have your ex think you’re currently seeing a member of the Flames. Yes, it was nice that he’s taking you home. And yes, the way he spoke to the Uber driver when you got in was actually more polite than you assumed he was to strangers. But, none of that meant he was a decent human being - at least not to you.

“I mean you’ve never given me a reason to think otherwise,” You say, shrugging.

“I’ll give you a reason,” You heard him mutter, but his face said he didn’t want to talk about it, so you let it go until you rode up the elevator to your floor in silence.

“Hey Matthew,” You say, voice small, “Thanks for getting me home, and for before, I owe you one.”

“I don’t think you want to be indebted to me,” Matthew says, his signature smirk gracing his face.

“One favor, nothing sexual,” You wave your finger at him while the elevator closes, sending him to whoever he was meeting on a floor above you.

III. 

You were swearing off men. That was it. You were sitting in a restaurant in the city, in a dress that made you look straight up hot, across from someone who made Matthew look like a saint. Paul was a friend of one of your coworkers, who raved about her friend who was intelligent and kind. Intelligent, yes definitely. But kind? At the moment that seemed far fetched. He’d spent the entire dinner talking about himself, and when you finally got to talk about yourself, he was just condescending and rude. You’d suffered through dinner, declining his invitation home. You heard his hollers about much of a tease and how uptight you were. You walked home, on a mission to get home and pretend this date never happened. Then you’d pass a bar you’d been to with Hannah a few times and decide to stop in - in need of a well deserved drink.

“There’s no way you should be here alone, dressed like that,” You can hear a familiar voice behind you and you turn around to meet Matthew’s face who was currently checking out your ass while you leaned against the bar. 

“You’re not in charge of me,” You bark back, sipping on the drink you’d gotten, “What are you doing here?”

“I was supposed to meet Noah out for a drink, but he canceled on me when I walked in,” Matthew says, “Why are you here?”

“I was on a date,” You frown.

You really, really, really, didn’t want to admit to Matthew that you’d had a bad date. You were pretty sure he got laid more than anyone you knew and there was no way he wasn’t going to make fun of you for having a terrible date.

“Was it that bad?” Matthew asks, “Or are your standards just way too high?”

“There’s nothing wrong with having standards for yourself, you should try it sometime,” You defend, “But, he spent the entire date talking about himself.”

You bite your lip, looking at Matthew in front of you. Sometimes, when the light caught him just right and he wasn’t being a total douche you could be reminded why he was such a fuckboy in the first place, he was cute as hell. You hated how attracted you were to him sometimes, especially after the way he had protected you from Alex the other night. He didn’t know why you didn’t want to see him, but he was there regardless.

“You should stay,” You declare, biting your lip and looking at Matthew.

You swore there was a twinkle in his eye, he grabbed himself a drink and hopped onto a barstool while you sat next to him. It started with small talk, you confessing that you were sure Hannah made Noah stay in because she told you he wasn’t spending enough time with her. To which Matthew said that was the exact reason he didn’t do relationships. Then you moved to bickering about how you loved the idea of love and the fact that Matthew turned himself off to it actually made you sad.

“You just need to see it from my perspective,” Matthew tries to explain, “No one sees past all of this NHL bullshit anyways, so, I’m just taking advantage of it. Admit it, you thought I was a dick when before you met me?”

“You are a dick,” You joke, “But yes, I may have passed judgement, that doesn’t mean everyone else thinks that.”

“Trust me, they do,” Matthew takes a sip of his beer, “Girls, fans, even my family sometimes, they just can’t see past the whole rat thing.”

You bite your tongue from telling him that if he stopped playing like a rat, people probably wouldn’t say that. Mainly because he was playing in the NHL and I’m sure your opinion on his play didn’t matter much. But also because whatever he was telling you sounded like something he didn’t talk about very much, it intrigued you. You don’t talk much about it further, a couple of people who were fans coming over and insisting you took shots with them. A few rounds of drinks later, you were drunk and Matthew’s hand had found a permanent place on your lower back.

“Ready to go?” Matthew asks, a chill running up your spine when he whispered in your ear.

Maybe you were lonely. Maybe you’d had too much to drink. Maybe you’d found the one part vulnerable part of Matthew and it made you soft. But something possessed to look him in the eyes and demand he took you home. And after asking you four times if you were sure, you were on your way to Matthew’s apartment with him, his lips on yours.

IV.

You slipped out of Matthew’s apartment after that night long before he woke up. Your walk of shame took you back to your apartment and that was that. You’d only seen Matthew once since, and while you were sitting next to Hannah in the stands at the Saddledome, he’d sent you over a wink and you thanked your lucky stars that Hannah wasn’t paying attention. You knew Matthew wasn’t going to let your moment of weakness be forgotten, you just hoped he didn’t embarrass you. You shook your head at the thought, which had been taking up your brain for most of the week. Your thoughts were broken by a heavy knock on the door, and you opened to reveal the person who’d been taking up most of your thoughts.

“What are you doing here?”  You ask, but you knew the answer was whichever one of his girlfriends, and you meant it to be plural, lived in your building.

“I was on my way to see someone but I thought I’d stop by,” Matthew smirks at you, “I have a favor to cash in.”

“I told you nothing sexual,” You counter back, despite the fact that you’d been under just a few nights ago.

“As much as I want to relive the events of the other night,” Matthew says, looking your body up and down, “I need an actual favor.”

“What?” You ask, crossing your arms.

“I need you to be my date to this event the Flames are doing,” Matthew sighs, as if he really didn’t want to ask.

“I’m sure there’s a line of girls who want to do that,” You say, wondering why Matthew needs you to go.

“I need to bring someone I can trust not to embarass me,” Matthew grumbles, “You’re smart, and you can hold a conversation with a bunch of our front office guys.”

“You want me to go and make you good?” You ask, trying to get exactly what he was asking you to do.

“Yes,” Matthew says, “I need you to make me look good. Can you do it?”

You should have said no. You should have said no. But, you said yes. You knew it was a bad idea, but the bright smile that graced Matthew’s face when you said yes almost made you forget that he was headed up to a booty call when he left your apartment. Something you realized he could only get away with.

--

Matthew wasn’t a bad date. He’d gotten to your apartment on time. Fed you with way too many compliments while his hand was rested on your thigh on the ride to the hotel ballroom the gala was at. Now, his hand had found its place on your back, while you wooed his coach into thinking Matthew was a decent human being. Really you should have paid overtime for how good you were doing. You’d met the entire Flames front office, charming each of them into thinking their player wasn’t sleeping around when he most definitely was.

You finally pull away from the conversation, latching on Hannah once she was finally in reach.

“You’re working like doubletime,” Hannah jokes, “How’d he convince you to do this?”

“He didn’t tell you what happened?” You ask, assuming his big mouth spilled the beans to Noah, at the very least.

“He never said anything,” Noah shrugs.

“I ran into my ex, and he pretended to be my boyfriend so he’d go away,” You admit, “Then he took me home and I told him I owe him one.”

“See? I knew he wasn’t all bad,” Hannah muses. You thought about what Matthew had said that night you slept together, about how people had presumptions about him he could never change so it didn’t matter. You’d actually thought about it frequently since, and it really made your heart ache for him. It bothered him, it had to.

“He’s not all bad,” You admit, outloud, really just so you could convince Hannah not to pass judgement on him without telling her what he’d told you.

“Hey, we can head out if you want?” Matthew asks, coming behind you. You nod, excited to be going home at a decent hour after a long week of work.

You were silent for the entire car ride home, your eyes constantly on Matthew for the entire ride.

“Would you stop staring at me?” Matthew asks, his eyes not leaving the road, but somehow his hand found your thigh, giving it a squeeze.

“Do you think you’re a bad person?” You ask, it was something you couldn’t stop thinking about. You didn’t understand Matthew, you didn’t think anyone actually did, but you wanted to figure him out so badly.

“Is this about what I said the other night? It wasn’t that deep Y/N,” Matthew sighs, “I’m not that deep.”

“Do you think that or have you been told that?” You ask, and you knew you were getting somewhere because you could feel his hand tense up.

“Are you always this annoying?” Matthew deflects.

“No,” You sigh, “It’s just, Hannah said something about you not being all bad and it bothered me.”

“A little criticism isn’t going to hurt me,” Matthew says, throwing his car into park so he could walk you to your door, “I’m not really a good guy either.”

You pout, leaning against the elevator. You were close to getting him to just open to you. His walls were tall and they were definitely thick but you might have been slowly chipping away at him.

“Thank you for doing this tonight, it meant a lot to me,” Matthew says, his hand rubbing the back of his neck while you stood in your doorway. A part you wanted to pull him inside by his collar and have your way with him, but you knew once was one thing but twice was going to be another. You bite your lip, debating it for a second, “Thinking about inviting me inside.”

“How did you-?” You start to ask before Matthew immediately cuts you off.

“You’re practically eye-fucking me,” Matthew jokes, “You won’t invite me inside though, because you know if you sleep with me twice you won’t be able to stop.”

You jaw drops, because he was right, “That’s hardly true.”

“I can read you Y/N, you’re like an open book,” Matthew smirks, “For the record, I don’t know if I’d be able to shake you either if we did this again.”

With that sentiment Matthew was headed down the hallway, turning just one more time before he hit the elevator button.

“Matthew?” You call out, “Are you going up or down?”

The question was burning. You just wanted to know why he was frequenting your building. Whoever was up there and why she could get Matthew to keep coming back. You were a little jealous, that he’d rejected you to go see her.

“That’s none of your business,” Matthew muses, giving you a wink and stepping into the elevator.

You were annoyed, and you thought about walking back outside to see if Matthew’s car was still there. That would make you a crazy person so you laid in bed while it ate you alive. That was, until you’d received a text from Matthew of his bedroom, and a sly comment about how you might have recognized his place. While it was smug and irritating, it did make you happy that he was home and he was alone.

plus one

You felt like an idiot. You stood at the bar next to Hannah, listening to her rant and rave about something Noah did while you watched Matthew flirt with some girl by the bar. You didn’t know why you thought maybe he could turn over a new leaf. That maybe you were getting somewhere with him. But, everything went out the window the second your eyes were on him. You decided he was dead to you, he had to be. You excuse yourself from Hannah, giving Matthew one more look before stomping out of the bar. You could hear his shouts behind you while you walked down the street, your apartment too far to walk but if you stopped you’d be forced to speak to him.

“Y/N! Where are you even going?” Matthew finally catches up to you, and you curse your shorter legs for stopping you from outrunning him.

“Away from you,” You say, “You can go back to your little friend, that’s your life Matthew, I get that now.”

“Come back to my place, I need to talk to you,” Matthew pleads, and you knew you were only a block away from his place. You sigh, nodding and following him down the street.

Matthew’s apartment felt different than it did the night you’d slept together. You were tossing off your clothes in a drunken haze and you never realized how empty his place felt. It was cold, and in some serious need a curtain and throw pillow. It was a metaphor for the current state of it’s resident. 

“Okay talk,” You cross your arms, “Explain to me how you do this to every girl, make them think there’s a part of you that’s decent to only be an asshole to them in the end.”

“I’ve never told anyone what I told you,” Matthew confesses, “I thought, maybe, you’d be into me. Then I realized if you were, I was only going to hurt you. You don’t deserve that, so if I push you away, you’ll be happy.”

“Clearly, I’m not happy,” You say, pointing to the frown that was very present on your face, “Listen, I like you, I don’t know why or how you crawled into my life but I want to be with you - the real you. I want that vulnerable man that told me he thought everyone judged him. I want you to prove to me you are that man.”

“I can do that,” Matthew nods, his hands resting on your cheeks. He captures your lips in his for the most tender kiss you’d been given. It was full of love, and full of feeling.

“I want you to prove it,” You say when you finally pull away, your forehead resting on his.

[betelguwuse]

I’m starting to think maybe I don’t want to get married. Hypothetically I’d love to be in a godly marriage with a man who respects me and sees me as the person that God does (and not only me but women as a whole), but realistically do christian men like that even exist? Mainstream christianity, especially gender discourse, is so watered down and twisted into something that’s more political than biblical. I feel like this is gonna piss off both the christians and feminists, even though I’m both (though some might say I’m not a real feminist, whatever idc lol). Might also tag as Side B because I feel like this is also maybe a Side B mood? But here goes.

Color coded by vague topic, bolded so it’s easier to read.

Like I recently heard of a pastor being criticized for saying it’s a woman’s duty to look good for her husband, and the boomer conservatives were acting like criticisms of this pastor was the end of christianity. There’s no way “looking good” in a biblical sense was anything more than basic hygiene, nowhere near the beauty standards of today; and that is if the idea of looking good for your husband is even in the bible. These people siding with the pastor were saying that any woman who doesn’t shave or hide her “flaws” with makeup or basically completely embody the tradwife meme are bad wives. Like what the literal hell.

Honestly the entire tradwife aesthetic seems to be the goal for a lot of young christian couples, when it’s not inherently biblical. I used to be into it myself because heck yeah staying home, housekeeping, taking care of children, and wearing cute flowery dresses sounds like a dream. But my goals aren’t universal! Some women don’t want kids. Some women want to work. Good and God-honoring women of the bible didn’t all have kids and stay home. I mean the timeline of the bible spans so long, so yeah maybe there were times when most women did. But that doesn’t mean women who didn’t were bad wives or lesser women. Not to mention there’s such a blurred line currently between cute tradwife lifestyle and creeps who fetishize the idea of a traditional (and by traditional they mean submissive) wife. Gross.

Another thing too many christian men do is say women can’t be in any position of power in the church. There is the whole specific issue of whether or not women should be the highest up actual pastor of the church, and I don’t know enough about that whole debate to validate or debunk it, but I’m not talking about that specifically here. Aside from that one position, a lot of christians think women can only teach other women and girls but not guys, even like literal child boys. That’s so weird, like imagine thinking a little boy has more authority than, or even equal to, a grown woman? Couldn’t be me. And this whole idea comes from an out of context “I do not permit women to speak in the church” from a regular human guy. And the reason he said this was that the women around him were spreading heresy. I still think it’s flawed logic to exclude all women from speaking in that situation just because most of them were wrong, but again, this wasn’t a command from God. This was just a guy recording his church experience and doing his flawed human best to manage it. Various women throughout the actual bible outside of this one leader’s timeline held positions of power in various churches. And modern day american christian men think biblical womanhood is all about subservience? Bro what bible are you reading?

I just want to make it clear that these are all just generalizations, but having been in various actual biblical communities and conservative christian communities, I can kinda pick up on the general sexist behaviors of the latter. But unfortunately in today’s political climate more and more young christians are only being exposed to political opinions that are surface level americanized good christian morals, but not actually biblical.

Even on top of that, even if a man knows of these biblical misconceptions, we live in a society. Like we’re constantly exposed to women’s sexualization, and it’s pretty impossible to escape that. I don’t want to spend my life with someone who’s grown up in a world where women are seen as weak, objects, pleasure machines, etc. And yeah we can unlearn these biases (honestly I hate the word unlearn but I can’t think of a substitute rn), but it feels like a hassle to casually figure out whether a guy can make an effort to understand what women go through, and if I were to just bring it up I’d scare them away. And that’s not to say I’m some perfect person who’s never sexualized men, we are all sinners after all and we live in a fallen world etc etc. But a whole society where women are so objectified that it’s normal for little boys to be watching porn, that just doesn’t really happen with little girls. I can’t speak for all women, but when I started seeing men sexually it was in my late teens when I realized like ‘oh I can sexualize men too? wild. ok I’m an adult lemme check it out’. Still sinful, but not ingrained in me from porn ads as a kid the way most young boys have been since like the creation of the internet.

Even the men currently in my life who genuinely want what’s best for me are so incredibly misogynistic it’s baffling. My male family members see any woman who breaks an imaginary dress code or ideology is some kind of deviant. I just want to make it clear that this is MY family and I’M the only one who gets to complain about them. We all love each other here even if the males are horribly wrong.

So I shaved my head for halloween and my dad could barely look at me, not because he was exactly mad or anything but just because I looked ugly to him. He always says ‘close the windows in your apartment because men will spy on you changing’ but after my hair was gone he was all ‘actually don’t bother because nobody will look at you looking like that’ like wow I wasn’t aware men only sexualized women for their hair. Like you really think a gross creeper is gonna be turned off by a fully naked oblivious vulnerable woman just because she’s bald? That’s not how any of this works. And just today my sister was watching a goth youtuber egirl or something, I didn’t see her makeup but my dad said stuff like ‘ew why does she look like that, maybe it’d be cool as a costume but how is she going to get a job’. Like, I’m not one to go ‘women don’t wear makeup for men’ (because most women who only use makeup to hide their insecurities and follow beauty standards very much just do it so they don’t get backlash from others, if not directly to please men), but when it’s a fun crazy look that’s not meant to be pretty, I’m all for that shit and generally I hate when men lose respect for a woman just for wearing something they don’t like. Like fashion isn’t real and your appearance should be as costumey or weird as you want without people losing respect for you. Also like...do men know that makeup isn’t permanent?? Like if she wanted a job that required no makeup she could easily wipe her face off and get one?? Not only that, but people can work from home and/or be self employed. Maybe youtube itself was this girl’s job. Who the hell cares man. And the worst thing here is my brother outright said one time “the root cause of feminism is pride”. B r u h. And this was back when I considered myself an anti-feminist, even then I knew that feminism started for good reason and I was absolutely furious. I think I kept it to myself like a coward lol, but if anyone said that to me now I’d tear them apart. In a debate I mean, not like literal violence.

Tldr: I’m not trying to say men are inherently more evil because there’s evil in everyone, but the way it takes shape in men in most societies is so insidious and inescapable. I love my family and guy friends, but I don’t want to deal with one in a romantic/sexual relationship because I don’t know if even the most educated and goodest christian boi in this world can see me as a true equal. It sucks because I want sex and children, but when the mainstream idea of hetero sex is female submission, it just makes me shrivel up and contemplate becoming a nun. I’m not even catholic. But even nuns are sexualized and degraded in coomer’s disgusting brains. In conclusion I’m going feral and starting my own woman-only church in the woods let’s go ladies.

[myblueeyedbuggers]

My Boys

Chapter 13

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6   Chapter 7  Chapter 8  Chapter 9  Chapter 10  Chapter 11  Chapter 12 Chapter 14

Pairings: Steve Rogers X Reader (Best Friend) Bucky Barnes X Reader

Word Count: 2063

Warnings:  Swearing, bit of violence if you looking very closely 

Summary: After being abandoned by her parents in Brooklyn in 1929, y/n makes a living for herself by working for the Црни лабуд gang until she meets two boys in a back alley and her life slowing begins to change.

Ey up my Loves, so we’re back and kicking ass! Quite literally in this Chapter, I’ve been going back over my previous chapters and I’m considering rewriting them to fit my new style. Let me know what you all think, do you prefer them as they are or would you want them to match my new style ? Anyways without further ado here's chapter 13, enjoy everyone! <3 

3rd person POV

Years have passed since that moment, time brought changes to the trio, what was once a childhood crush developed into a fierce love that neither of the pair wanted to acknowledge or admit in fear of loosing the other.

As you can imagine both Steve and Becca were ready to rip the heads off of their dumbass siblings.

6 years is a verrrry long time to put up with long looks of pining and repressed feelings, but unfortunately for the Brooklyn natives, y/n and bucky were about as stubborn as each other and refused to listen to the reasonable, sometimes frustrated, rants of their best friends. So much to the utter frustration of Steve and Becca, the two young lovebirds lived in a state of denial and attempted (the keyword being ATTEMPTED) to move on with their lives.

Naturally, someone as charming and handsome as James Barnes seemed to have a never-ending line of girls begging to be his, it had become a common occurrence for him to have a new girl on his arm each week, not that Steve or Y/n approved of his behaviour but hey Bucky can be a real big dumbass when he wants to be. Y/n did try to hide how much it bothered her, thankfully not only was Bucky a dumbass he was also completely unaware of her feelings and simply chalked it down to her being the unapproving sister, but to Steve it was a clear as day. He could see it in her face every time Bucky left to take the new girl dancing, or when she’d finish work early only to see Buck and his new girl on a romantic date in the Café opposite the dinner she worked at. The bright light behind her eyes always dimmed a little and she wouldn’t talk for hours, which for anyone that didn’t know her was enough to ring an ambulance and arrange a mental evaluation.

Now that’s not to say that Bucky was any better, the look of absolute utter rage that covered his face when another man called for Y/n was enough to make Steve and Becca completely loose it and simply laugh at his misery, neither of them felt bad because they’d been telling him for YEARS to man up and confess his feelings. Occasionally the pair did feel a slight twinge of guilt towards their brother, like the time the trio went to Y/n’s house to surprise her after work, only to see her kissing the cheek of a guy they’d never seen before, just like his other half Bucky did try to hide it, but the flash of pain that crossed his face was impossible to miss.

It’d gotten to the point where Steve wanted to lock em both in a closet til they finally admitted their feelings and put themselves out of their misery, though the fact that he had all the physical stats of a toothpick quickly nipped that idea in the bud.

Cut to today, for once it looked like it’d be a fairly normal day for everyone, boys were off doing god knows what, knowing those two it’d involve a punch up started by a small blonde idiot and finished by an even bigger idiot of a brunette. Though the same couldn’t be said about their girl, ever the more responsible one of them all Y/n had agreed to work overtime in the local dinner over on main street, meaning that she’d be the one closing the place down at 9pm.

Y/n didn’t even wanna think about what her two idiots would get up without proper adult supervision, though over the years she’d learned to expect that it would more than likely be something illegal.

Thankfully, it wasn’t something she had to worry about for the next couple of hours, though 9 times out of ten she’d be the one cleaning up the cuts and bruises only for them to come back the next day fresh wounds. As much as it did on occasion piss her off to no ends, Y/n wouldn’t want it any other way, they were and always will be her boys.

Y/N’s POV

Well, that was an absolute shit show of a day.

I mean you’d of thought that I was common knowledge not to put ya hands up a waitresses skirt, but nay some men didn’t seem to have got that memo, ever the public servant I made it my job to enlighten then with a hot cup of coffee to the crotch. How I’ve not received employee of the month is beyond me, what’s not to love ? I’m a fucking delight!

Thank god it’s home time, if I’da stayed in that place any longer something would of happened, knowing my crazy ass it’d of been something violent but in my defence….okay I don’t have a defence, but men can seriously suck ass when they wanna. All I wanna do is have a peaceful walk home, ignore the homeless guys that like to gawp at my ass and run a big old bubble bath whilst relaxing with a decent book.

Naturally, that didn’t happen.

Now, If ya spend as much time around a bunch of over aggressive monkeys that love jumping into fights as much as I do, you’ll probably get real good at recognising the sounds of a fight. And I’ve got a pretty good idea who the two dipshits are that started this pissing contest.

The sounds of shoes scuffling across the pavement were pretty much impossible to miss now, that along with the grunts and groans of a bunch of guys smacking the absolute shit outta each other tipped me off to what was happening around the corner. Everything in me screamed to carry on my merry way and let these morons sort out whatever beef they had in peace and believe me I was so close to ignoring it and walking past em, but it’s kinda hard to do that when ya hear ya best mate scream “come at me motherfuckers!”.

I couldn’t help the frustrated sigh that came outta my mouth but come on guys! This is the 5th one this week!

Very reluctantly I doubled back and went to help my idiotic boys out of whatever trouble they managed to get em selves into, and boy I’m glad that I did cause they were losing. Badly. It would seem that Steve’s request was met for them to “come at” him, cause one of em had him by the arms and was pummelling the life out of his small body, and Bucky wasn’t having any better luck either. Buck was in the same situation, but he had the pleasure of two guys restraining his arms whilst another two took turns in kicking him in the stomach, I mean I was already pissed off at what was happening to Steve but now,  I’m beyond pissed and IF I’d of taken the time to calm down for a few seconds I’da thought of a better plan than this.

“Man…I really liked these shoes”.

In my defence, I didn’t mean to throw them as hard as I did, I was hoping to distract them for a couple of seconds so I could get the jump on the guy beating the crap outta Steve, instead I hit him square in the back his head and knocked him the fuck out. Any other time I’da been wetting myself laughing, but instead it seemed like time slowed down as the assholes holding Steve up froze and made eye contact with me, even the guys on Bucky stopped to see what had happened, all four of em had a look of complete and utter disbelief when they finally saw me. Not that I really cared, all I wanted was for em to get the fuck off of my boys.

Nobody seemed to wanna say anything for the next couple of seconds, the assholes beating up Bucky and Steve were still trying to wrap their heads around what just happened, and my idiots were looking back and forth between the guy on the floor and me, not even taking the time to try escape their holds. How the hell they manage to survive all these years without me is beyond my understanding.

“Sup my dudes, my names Y/n and I’ll be kicking ya ass today”.

I think it’s safe to say that I snapped everyone out of their shocked states, cause the guys holding both Steve and Bucky dropped their asses to the ground and instead focus on me, which is pretty fair considering I did just knock their mate out with a 2-inch healed shoe.

“Do ya know what we do to girls that don’t know their place round here? Cause ya about to find out girly” why is it always the ugliest motherfuckers that try to act tough, I mean look at this guy! he’s got more stains on his shirt than he does teeth, and about as much hair as a furless cat, I’ve been more intimidated by a group of 12-year-old girls in the dinner than I have him!...teenagers are fucking scary don’t judge me.

Right back to this absolute shitshow of a ‘fight’.

Mr ‘I’m only 30 years old and I already need dentures’ swung his arm out towards me in a pathetic attempt at a punch, which massively backfired on him cause I threw that dumbass over my shoulder and ‘accidently’ knocked his last 4 teeth out.  That left me with the rest of the hounds, two of em were rushing at me the second I let go of their newly toothless friend, the one on my right missed me completely and fell over a fence, dumbass. The dude on my left though, well he didn’t miss I’ll put it that way, he fully rugby tackled me into the car behind me, knocking the wind outta me and leaving me dazed for a few seconds.

But just like the first guy, his ‘punches’ were about effective as a marshmallow. Pretty embarrassing for him really, I mean you hate to see it.

“Okay no, give me your hand I’m gonna teach you how to punch cause this is just embarrassing for you dude, first don’t put your thumb at the bottom cause ya gonna break it, second don’t just throw ya arm forward and hope it hurts, use your body weight cause ya got a lot of it and throw it into the punch.”

At that point I’d pushed him off me and the car, his form was absolutely terrible so I went ahead and corrected it for him, found out his name was Eric, which was pretty interesting, gave him a few practise shots and then let him hit me for real, and I must be a fucking amazing teacher cause that one hurt!

“Really Doll?”

Let me tell you, I’d never seen Bucky so unimpressed in my life, his face was completely deadpanned with only his eyebrows raised, Steve wasn’t too impressed either, his infamous mum glare was in full force as I sheepishly backed away from my new best friend.

“In my defence, you left me unsupervised, and Eric’s form was absolutely atrocious, wasn’t it Eric my lad ?”

“….She’s a pretty good teacher to be fair”.

“See? I’m a good teacher! Suck it Barnes!”

Bucky Knocked Eric the fuck out in response. I think you can all understand how heartbroken I was.

“What the hell Barnes?! If it weren’t for me you and Steve would be dead!” I’m pretty sure I looked as insane as I was acting, Steve was full on laughing his ass off behind Buck, I mean if I weren’t so annoyed by them both right now I’d be on the floor with him just dying of laughter. But nay, I had a bone to pick with the both of them, which I think they both realised considering they both went pale before turning around and bucking it to my house. What you need to remember is that these are fully gown men, running around a Brooklyn neighbourhood screaming bloody murder, with a much smaller y/h/c lass running right behind them brandishing a pair of heels, fully intending to murder them both.

How we’ve gone all these years without being arrested or locked in a mental asylum astounds me.

So hopefully you all enjoyed this, let me know what you all think, we’ve got about 2 more chapters left of my boys then we move onto Captain America the First Avenger!! 

lots of love

Rose xx

[galadrieljones]

The Walking Dead: Episode 4.12, “Still” Rewatch

So I rewatched “Still” in honor of the Stilliversary tonight. My thoughts are not related much to Team Delusional stuff, more so just thoughts and idle analysis, but I had fun and definitely did not cry.

Here we go!

Beth is already feeling it, right away, after the trunk scene, ie: what he must think of her. She’s just another “dead girl” who needs to be protected. It is both insulting and embarrassing at the same time.

Daryl misses that squirrel and breaks an arrow! Dammit, Daryl. This is just another trial, but it’s interesting in how we see Daryl in like rote provider mode, and yet he makes a mistake.

The suck-ass camp begins with some Garden of Eden imagery: While Daryl skins and cooks the snake, Beth is admiring the beauty of a ladybug crawling on a leaf. The music is actually full of wonder. Beth sees the beauty in the natural world while Daryl sees it only for what he can use. It is an essential masculine vs. feminine moment, in terms of their individual themes, and what propels them and their actions. Their masculine and feminine energies will be subverted later though, and well-complicated, because the writing is good.

Beth brings up Hershel’s death early: “He’s not exactly around anymore so...” She wants to have a drink, maybe to rebel against her father, maybe to honor his memory, maybe to seal her own fate. It is a complicated choice for Beth. It’s not just some “dumb college bitch” moment. She knows this, but how is she supposed to communicate it to Daryl?

Daryl is like an animal eating that snake while Beth tries to talk to him. Literally, out of body. I imagine being her and just like, Ugh. Gross, dude. Then, when she leaves, Beth totally expects him to come after her. When she doesn’t see him right away, she mutters, “Jerk.” She called him a jerk in season 3, too, after he takes off with Merle. I think Beth is used to being treated nicely by boys. Ofc, Daryl, while he may not be an overt gentleman in his scarfing of that disgusting snake, was there watching her the whole time. 

“You wanna spend the rest of our lives staring into a fire and eating mud snakes? Screw that. We might as well do something.”

I sort of missed this before, the mention of “the rest of our lives.” It is a small acknowledgement that they are now “stuck together.” Ofc, Beth’s idea is to “make the most of it,” to go out into and DO something! Embrace the future! Daryl sees only the here, the now, and the past. He would prefer to stay still.

Unrelated but: God, Daryl is peak hot in this episode. 

Anyway, so, the state of Pine Vista, and what happened there. Jfc. It’s very ugly and very sad. The Dogtrot seems a reference to a dogtrot house, which is an old Appalachian style home. Basically like two shacks connected via a breezeway. I see some sort of backcountry types having moved in here and tortured the rich folk. There is evidence that “fun” was had. “Rich bitch,” etc. Maybe it’s the same psychopaths who tormented the OG Terminus crew, ultimately turning them into crazy cannibals.

Beth finds the Washington D.C. spoon. Why?? It’s such an odd, pointed shot, with a slow zoom. Is that where we’ll find her? Does anybody else know anything about this?? Anyway maybe this is a TD post lol.

Beth finds that bottle of wine and it’s a shame she has to break it! I remember feeling so bad about that the first time I watched this episode. Like NO BETH YOUR BOOZE!! She uses it to stab the shit out of that walker though, and to defend herself. She’s kind of pissed at Daryl for not helping her, again used to only the kindest of attention from boys. But Daryl isn’t like other boys (lol). He was there the whole time, once again, but he let it play out, because he knew she could do it. I like that her first (almost) drink here sort of has to become a weapon instead. Nothing is ever easy! And sometimes, the environment IS best observed, not in terms of its beauty or promise, but in terms of how its use can best be served to survive.

Tempus Fugit - Time flies! Oh, yes. Yes it does lol.

Daryl and Beth both need to escape their old selves here. Beth with her pretty cloths and Daryl stealing the cash and the jewels. They need to shake that shit off. Burn it all down, if you will. I think this episode we mostly associate with Daryl changing and having his epiphany, but Beth changes, too. She is just quieter at it.

It is 3 o’clock! The grandfather clock is this interesting motif that puts pressure on the situation literally while also bringing the symbolic pressure of time passing, running out, etc. It makes us feel detached from reality, like this is a purgatory episode. I like when The Walking Dead does this, like when they take us to a new place in which we become critically aware that this thing we’re watching is fiction, and by the rules of fiction, anything (ANYTHING) can happen.

“I know you think this is stupid, and it probably is, but I don’t care.” She just is who she is. She doesn’t give a shit what he thinks. I think that attracts Daryl to her in this moment and emboldens him. I think Daryl actually really cares what other people think of him, that he is keenly self-aware in this way. We see this fear manifest as Merle in Chupacabra, ie: that the rest of the group thinks he’s a “freak,” a piece of “redneck trash,” and that they’re all “laughing behind [his] back.” Meanwhile, Beth is just like, “You probably think I’m just some dumb bitch. But guess what, Daryl? I DON’T CARE.”

Beth sitting at that bar trying to clean out glasses: “Who needs a glass?” She clutches the bottle longingly and then cries. I would argue she is thinking of Hershel and the line of questioning that arises in this moment. Should she do this? Is she betraying him? This moment also contradicts what she tells Daryl in 4.1. “I don’t cry anymore Daryl.” This is the moment that breaks him.

Beth keeps trying to make him feel normal, while they’re walking to the shine shack. She thinks he used to be a motorcycle mechanic. But Daryl’s normal is not hers, and he doesn’t really do small talk. In these little moments, we see him being who he is. Daryl is really good at being who he is when who he is revolves around passivity and silence.

They go from country club to moonshine shack. What we see is how a class divide might differ in longevity. A country club full of walkers, made out of humans who turned against each other, every bottle dry in the house vs. an empty shine shack, no death in sight, absolutely full of booze. When societal protections collapse around us, it is the ruthless and the bereft who will know how best to survive. It’s like Beth sad about Daryl, being “made for this world.” 

They are trapped! Tropes. So many romantic tropes! Lol at people who would like to ignore that any of this happened or that Bethyl was never canon.

This: 

Anyway, I think Daryl is actually pretty mean to Beth toward the end here, out on the porch, like the way he treats her, kind of tugs her around physically. He doesn’t hurt her, but he is not gentle. This puts things into harsh perspective for Beth, as I do think that, while he is not right in how he handles her here, he is right in some ways about who she is. She is not naive but she is used to protection and safety and relying on others, the same way he is used to the opposite of those things. Both of them need to learn how to exist from the other side. 

Beth also sees what’s going on, however. I think she also might be used to this sort of quasi-violent, performative, drunken behavior. Her dad was a drunk. I think it’s interesting that so much of this episode hinges on alcohol in Hershel’s wake. I always thought this might be one reason Beth is drawn to and accepting of Daryl. We only really see Hershel while sober (I mean, mostly). We never saw him in his deep element of alcoholism, but Beth did. She is not innocent to vices or men spinning out of control. It’s why Beth responds to Daryl’s whole insane story about the tweaker and Merle with, “You miss him, don’t you?” She doesn’t care that Merle was a degenerate drug addict. He was Daryl’s brother who died. She has loved and lost an addict, too.

Before, Daryl was just “drifting.” In this episode, Beth gives him a quest. I think that’s very important. She also gives him something to look forward to:

“You got away from it.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did.”

“Maybe you gotta keep on reminding me of it sometimes.”

The hint at their future: “You gotta keep on reminding me,” he says, counting on them staying together. Beth is so kind to him here, too, even doting as she talks about him being the “last man standing.” I can’t imagine a girl has ever treated Daryl like this. I think she scares the living shit out of him.

Daryl suggests they go back into the shine shack, but Beth says they should burn the place down instead. Again, stillness vs. action. See their complimentary traits: Daryl is passive. He needs someone to tell him this is okay. Beth is active. She does what she wants. It is uniquely antithetical to their gender roles and subverts the power dynamic we might otherwise expect from a relationship like this: Daryl is older and a man. Ofc he should be the more aggressive, assertive one. The actor. But he’s not. It’s Beth who makes their choices in this episode. Daryl follows her and protects her along the way. 

The ending is so happy. Oh my god. Anyway.

Thank you for humoring me. Happy Stilliversary!! 😭🥺❤️

[woodchoc-magnum]

L0ne St@r 2x12 Hate Watch

DO NOT REBLOG THIS ONE - thanks, I’m trying to fly under the radar with my negative opinions here

Usual disclaimer, and I mean it this time: If you watch and love this show, that’s great and I hope you continue to enjoy it. Please don’t read this - simply go about having a lovely day.

If you do love this show and T*rlos and are braving this anyway - do not come in here. I mean it. This is not a T*rlos friendly zone. I do not ship it. Please enjoy your ship in peace and harmony. I have no intention of getting into arguments with anyone, I will simply ignore you.

I have done everything I can to avoid this showing up in the tags, whatever the LS tags are. Don’t send me hate on anon because I’ll delete them; I don’t care if you think I should stop watching the show, I’m not gonna. I like to suffer.

Eddie Diaz for calm and strength and to centre ourselves:

Hate, as always, under the cut:

Let's do this fucking thing, I've heard bad things about this episode

And I already know I'm wrong about the arsonist which is ANNOYING but maybe also too obvious so that's okay, I also know who the arsonist is and all the main plot points but I’ve still got to watch it to really appreciate the subtle nuances of the episode:

Oooh Billy

I ship it

Billwen for the win

This show is so dumb

Billy is smarter than Owen, maybe he should be the captain of the 126

I miss his lightning scars though

He's TWO HOURS LATER FOR DINNER

TK is looking as bland as always

They seriously waited for two fucking hours for this guy

Maybe should've put some deodorant on before going to dinner there Owen

You know I can't imagine the OG doing a storyline as dumb as this

So Carlos' dad thinks it's someone who works at the 126 or just a firefighter in general?

Well gosh darn it, it looks like Owen fits that profile exactly!

At least we get some Judd early in the episode and I love him

Angela Bassett is executive producer on this show as well? I hope she gets paid cash money for this

Billy is the red herring and I fell right into their trap

I just really wanted it to be him

Ooh Grace was listening

Oh it's 100% the arson investigator and Billy is 100% turning Owen in, I love him

Billy is amazing

He's my favourite character on this show

I hope he's not working with Owen to get the arson investigator? I hope he's actually this devious

I want him to be THIS DEVIOUS

Why the fuck does Owen wear that hoodie everywhere

TK is now having a little bitch fit

"they can't do that, can they?" he asks in a monotone, his face blank and devoid of expression

TK's real real dumb

Oh ho ho is this the shoving scene

IT IS

God Ronen CANNOT ACT

Okay so while I think it is wildly unbelievable that they would send TK's boyfriend to tell him that his father had been arrested by HIS father – it seems like a conflict – I would like to say that Carlos is being calm and reasonable

And TK is acting like a little BITCH

This is escalating quickly

Oh TK you so dumb

THE SHOVING

Wow

FOUR TIMES

Wow

Your fave is problematic, yo

Carlos deserves better than this whiny little piece of shit

And now, an interlude while I rant:

Let's talk about how Eddie Diaz yelled at Buck once in a supermarket and the fandom has never forgotten it; how his character has been villainised despite everything else going on in the show at the time, for that one fucking scene – let's talk about all the fics where Eddie hits Buck, or punches him, or rapes him – because you know those fics exist – let's talk about the "Eddie is violent" narrative that parts of this fandom like to push because Eddie yelled at Buck, one time, once, in a supermarket

Totally ignoring the fact that at no point at all, in any other episode he’s been in, has he been violent towards Buck, at all - let’s talk about how the street fighting arc was out of character for Eddie, because he was struggling to cope and looking for an outlet - let’s talk about how Buck and Eddie moved past that whole storyline and strengthened their relationship; how they built a family together, how they’re a team and they have each other’s backs no matter what, and how, not once in the entire show, have they ever been violent towards each other or pushed each other around in anger - NOT ONCE.

And let's talk about this scene, where TK, ya boy, ya sweet tender boy, just shoved the man he says he loved four times, violently, in front of people at the firehouse.

I betcha any money he doesn’t get tarnished with the Eddie-Diaz-is-violent brush, because he can do no wrong. He’s the fan favourite, and this is totally glossed over by the end of the episode and nothing will ever be said about it ever again.

Because wow, you guys. Wow. If this was my ship, I’d be pissed.

Back to the hate watch:

And I know that whole fight is for nothing because I know the plot twist – I know that the dads are working together in order to reveal the real arsonist, the investigator – so they've basically turned their children, who are in a relationship, against each other?

Also why is Billy allowed to be watching the interview?

Goddamn do we really have to show the gruesome burn victim photos

I really want Billy to be devious by the way, and not in on the plan

Oh here comes TK, looking like the little bitch he is

God he's a fucking awful actor

This is the dumbest plotline ever

Equating OWEN STRAND WITH THOR? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

BLASPHEMY

THOR IS THE GOD OF THUNDER

OWEN IS A DUMBASS

THE TWO ARE NOT EQUAL

Uh oh here comes the evil investigator

Do either of these men – Owen and Carlos' dad – stop to consider that what they're doing has kind of an impact on their children, who are currently in a relationship? No? Okay

Because this is one hell of an awkward situation

Does Owen genuinely think that Billy is the arsonist?

Interesting that the arson investigator wants any info Owen didn't give Carlos' dad, and he turned off the cameras/mics etc

This show is stupid

Arson investigator also knows that the sons are dating, interesting

"And you can pound sand!" oooh great comeback Owen

This episode is so BORING OMG

Why the fuck am I watching a shitty Law & Order knock-off when I should be watching a bonkers 911 episode

Oh no Judd's at Billy's

I really do think Billy Burke is good looking and it is a flaw of mine, I don't know what it is about him and he really doesn't look that good in this show but I really love Billy Burke okay

And I WANT HIM TO BE DEVIOUS

Oh Judd

Oh Judd thinks Billy is the arsonist

See this is why YOU DON'T LIE TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU

Oh he punched him

God damn everyone is violent in this show

Judddddddddddddd

Uh oh here comes trouble to the "vagrant's" hospital room

Oh it's the arson investigator, their little bluff worked, incredible, amazing, flawless etc

Wow how amazing

It was the ol' switcheroo

Judd punched Billy for nothing

TK and Carlos nearly came to blows for nothing

Now Owen is allowed to watch the interrogation? They'll just let anyone watch those things these days

OH MAN ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT BILLY WAS IN ON IT WITH OWEN THE WHOLE TIME?

Damn it I wanted DEVIOUS god damn it

Fucking cowards

"I assumed it was probably a trap at the hospital which is why I went there anywhere"

But why is he lighting fires

A FEW MONTHS?

A man is dead

Pure theatre

So annoyed that Billy isn't devious

But the Billwen ship sails on, clowns 🤡

Do we think the arsonist has the hots for Owen? 100% yes, right?

He's very happy to see him wink wonk

This doesn't even feel like an episode of 911, it's so goddamn dumb

"I knew you had darkness in you too" – that dude definitely wants to fuck him

Why is he lighting the fires?

They're so dumb

"And now I'm going to repay the favour" – he's talking about YOUR SONS

WHO HE KNOWS ARE TOGETHER

Wow these two dumbasses really have no fucking idea do they

OH HE'S BURNING HIMSELF ALIVE

Wow this is graphic

What the fuck is up with this show and the horribly graphic scenes lately?

That dude is dead yo

"Take away everything that's important to me" AND HE CALLS THE FIREHOUSE FIRST

THE FIREHOUSE IS THE FIRST FUCKING CALL???

Oh okay it did blow up and TK was there so I'll allow it

But hey look on the bright side – Owen gets to remodel again!

And isn't that what he's the best at?

Yo your firehouse is on fire dudes, better call the fire department

Does Judd apologise to Billy or no

Oh here we have TK and Carlos and their perfect love

And Carlos is the one apologising?

No.

Please tell me no

Carlos you are allowed to be pissed at him – ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

"nobody has to apologise?"

YOUR BOYFRIEND PUSHED YOU AROUND

Oh my god

Wow

Okay.

Look I'm just saying that to me this would be a GIGANTIC RED FLAG but wtf do I know

I'm just saying because I have to – if Carlos was a woman and TK did that? Whole different story gang

Whole completely different mother-fucking story

This show, wow

Wow.

Wow. This is bad.

Domestic violence happens to men too, just saying.

Wow I'm so annoyed that I've paused it to type furiously and rant that wow, they're just not acknowledging that TK was totally out of line? Okay. Wow.

And everyone's just fine with it?

Oh they're just figuring out that he set more than one fire

Maybe there's something else you care about other than the firehouse, Owen

Maybe?

BILLY IS THE ONE WHO FIGURES IT OUT

See this is why Billy is the best

Oh no TK and Carlos are in danger

Oh it's so romantic isn't it? They're gonna fuck now that everything is okay

Wow he left a lot of bombs in Carlos' house

Damn Carlos is hot

No smoke alarms?

That fire has really taken ahold there guys

I'm gonna assume you do have smoke alarms and he disconnected them

Wow he really covered all bases didn't he

Put the bombs in the bedroom as well

RIP Carlos' nice house

"I love you too" after I violently shoved you around today

Oh who needs a fucking fire department when you've got Owen fucking Strand right?

"Carlos" he says flatly. "How are you doing?" he asks in a monotone

"I should've had an extinguisher in the bedroom" DUDE NO ONE DOES

And if TK wanted one in there, he's the fucking firefighter, he should've checked when he moved in instead of assuming like a dumbass

God this show is dumb as fuck and I hate it so much

Billwen for the win

"just a couple of crap magnets" fucking a-men Judd

This show sucks

Oh no TOMMY OH NO

WHAT'S HAPPENING

OH MY GOD

WHAT THE FUCK

What the fuck

Is he dead?

TAKE OWEN AND TK INSTEAD

I’m going to say one more thing about this T*rlos storyline - if they’d done this to Buck & Eddie in the OG, I’d be fucking devastated. Like... if Buck or Eddie pushed the other around the way TK pushed Carlos around, I’d be absolutely gutted. It’s really horrible that they went down that path - whether it’s OOC or not, and you can probably argue that it is - they shouldn’t have included the scene like that in the show. 

It just raises a whole slew of questions, like... is TK violent? Is Carlos used to being pushed around in relationships? Is the show saying that it’s okay that they got a little physical because they’re both men? Domestic violence is never okay, and this is kind of... saying that it is, in certain circumstances?

That is problematic as fuck and such bad writing.

These two are in a relationship where they are living together and supposedly love each other, and this is how the writers choose to portray it? If you’re a T*rlos shipper and you’re upset about this episode, I get it. It’s really fucking terrible that they included that scene - and I would bet cold hard cash it’ll never be addressed again.

This is why LS is a bad show. It’s shitty writing. Shitty storylines. Characters who are interesting are shoved into the background and glossed over in favour of the male white characters. The OG doesn’t have this problem - for everyone complaining that Eddie hasn’t been featured as much this season (and yeah, I hate it too) - you can’t complain that the characters of colour don’t get equal screentime. 

With LS - it’s the Rob Lowe show, and everyone else is just in the background. And that’s why it’s so frustrating to watch - they have a great cast, and this could be a really good show, but it’s just not.

Do you think the LS writers patted themselves on the back after this arc and were like, "yeah we nailed it, we're amazing?"

This episode is -1,000000/10. This show should be cancelled.

Two god awful miserable fucking episodes to go.

Diaz to cleanse:

[simsadventures]

Only Mine: Chapter 11: Night Out

Summary: Attending a ball with Bucky as his official girlfriend is a big deal for you, and you try to prepare accordingly. Meanwhile, Bucky tries to determine the actions of his enemies.

Warnings: fluff, mentions of sex (nothing graphic here), mobster AU, swearing, angst

Word Count: 3035

A/N: Who’s excited for this? Because I definitely am! Reader’s dress are showcased in the moodboard, for anyone interested, but feel free to imagine any dress you like. It’s your story after all! FEEDBACK is gold my people, so please, please let me know what you all thought of this chapter. Lots of love!! xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist

< Previous Chapter

Waking up, you felt butterflies in your stomach. Well, it actually felt more like a bunch of bats were trying to tear you from the inside, trying to get away, but that didn’t sound so romantic, so when Nat asked you how you were feeling, you told her the butterfly version.

It was Friday morning, and even though you had to go to work, you couldn’t care less about that. Tonight was the night when you’d finally be introduced as Bucky’s girlfriend to more than his closest men and family. And as much as you were nervous about the whole thing, you couldn’t help yourself to feel excited as well.  

You knew that the Bucky you’d see in the evening would be a very different version to what you were used to, but you also realised that if this relationship was gonna work, you’d have to get used to even to his official mobster persona. You told him like a million times during the week, that if he treated you like one of your bitches, he’d regret it. Greatly.

And despite him being the actually dangerous one in the relationship, you heard him gulp through the phone, and he just husked out a simple understood, which made you smirk in return. This big mafia boss was yours, and you couldn’t be happier about it.

True, you two didn’t have any conversation regarding your feelings, but if tonight went well, you were determined to tell him how you felt about him. You weren’t able to hide it any longer. Every second you spent with Bucky convinced you that you were doing the right thing, letting him have your heart. As cautious as you were during the very beginnings of your relationship, none of it bothered you now. Every day, Bucky proved to you just how much you meant to him, even if the actual words never left his mouth.

Work was torture because all you could think of was your beautiful dress awaiting you at home, the wonders that Nat could do with your make-up, and the moment you finally was with Bucky again. He has been busy the whole week, only managing to visit you once, for a brief talk before you fell asleep, completely exhausted. You knew he was there with you until you fell asleep, drawing circles on your exposed back, humming compliments into your ear. You remembered thinking that you could get used to something like this every night because sleep always came easier when Bucky was there with you.

So when you finally escaped work, thinking about all those things that happened between you and Bucky, and about what was about to happen, you almost sprinted the whole way to your apartment. You felt like an idiot feeling so giddy about such thing, but you just couldn’t help yourself. Your man would be astounded by your appearance tonight, and you knew for a fact that he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands to himself.

—-

“What do you mean nobody saw him for the last 3 weeks?” Bucky’s voice boomed through his office, every man sitting there, shrinking further into their chairs. Bucky was furious, the vein on his forehead was ticking like a time bomb, ready to explode, his nostrils flaring like an angry lion. Even Sam and Steve were quiet, their heads bowed because they knew too well that were they to piss Bucky off at that particular moment, a bullet might be the next thing they saw.

As much as Bucky seemingly calmed down ever since you walked into his life, it didn’t seem to affect his work. He was as ruthless as ever, maybe even more, because now he had an actual person to protect from all the shit happening in the city.

And Pierce being underground didn’t seem like him, and it made chills run down Bucky’s spine. He needed to know where Pierce was at all times, and because his men forgot to mention that they couldn’t find him for the good part of the month, Bucky was ready to explode.

“Why the fuck is nobody speaking up? Didn’t I tell you that the second something changes with that motherfucker, you come right to me? Huh? Or are you idiots to fucking dumb to remember a simple task? I’m looking at you two shitheads, Rumlow, Johnson. I thought you were assigned to his case!”

The two men still didn’t look at Bucky, probably not even breathing in fear it would make Bucky snap.

“I expect answers!” Bucky yelled, and he saw Peter flinching from the corner of his eye. But he didn’t care, not at that moment. Somebody’s hurt feelings were the last of his worries, and if he had to, he would beat the information out of his own men.

“We thought he just had a vacation, or something, y’know?”

Boom.

A book that was laying on Bucky’s side of the table was sent flying across the room and landed with a loud thud.

“Vacation? You’ve got to be kidding me, Rumlow. For fuck’s sake. Dig deeper and fucking find him. And I’m telling you, if anybody crashes tonight’s party, heads will be chopped off. And I fucking mean it, so I advise everybody here to fucking do something about it. I want all the other guys at the ball too, I want everyone there in case Pierce decided to show up.”

Bucky yelled and left the room before he actually hurt somebody. Steve and Sam shared a look before they both got up from their chairs and followed Bucky outside. The rest of the men remained seated, waiting till they heard some door closing behind Bucky, so they could sneak out unwatched.

Bucky went outside to the porch, watching the trees move under the light breeze, trying to think of things to calm him down. He really didn’t want to have to kill anybody on his own team, but it was getting harder and harder to keep to that.

He knew Steve and Sam would come to talk to him, so it didn’t surprise him when he heard the door opening and closing and set of two boots strutting towards him.

“It’s probably nothing, Buck, and you know it. If the guys genuinely thought it was something, they would have told you. I bet they just didn’t want to disturb your honeymoon phase with Y/N. We all see how happy you are with her, and nobody wants to destroy that,” Steve said softly, patting Bucky on his shoulder.

Bucky sighed and closed his eyes. He knew Steve was probably right about the men, and definitely right about you. Just the thought of you laughing at something stupid he told you made a small smile creep to his cheeks. You’ve ruined him for any other woman, that was for sure. Maybe, you even ruined him for the line of work, people trying to protect him from any sort of information was not something that happened too often.

“I know, and all that’s nice, but when I give an order, I fucking expect people to follow it, and not think about my poor, poor heart. I’m the boss here, and something, I’ve the feeling people forget it.”

“Ha! Don’t worry, you instilled the fear of God in them a long time ago. Nobody doubts what you’re willing to do for the city, for your men. Trust me, man, if anything, they fear you even more, because everyone knows that were something to happen to Y/N, you’d probably murder half the city, including them,” Sam smiled at Bucky, patting his other shoulder.

Bucky nodded thankfully at both his friends, feeling better about himself and about the whole situation already. He huffed out a breath he was holding and let himself get excited about tonight. His birthday was on Sunday, but he wanted the ball to be on Friday, and the theme for this year was Hell. Simple but effective, Bucky thought, and he seriously couldn’t wait to see what you’d wear.

He wanted to buy you a dress, but you insisted on them being a surprise, and, honestly, Bucky wanted to be surprised by you and your beauty. The night couldn’t come soon enough for him.

—-

It was a surprise to find Peter standing in front of your door at 8 sharp, and even a bigger surprise was that Bucky wasn’t there with him. You scolded yourself inwardly because you knew it was his party and the host should probably be there for when all the guests arrived. Still. Your possessive ass wanted him for yourself, and it only now dawned on you that tonight would be the first night when you’d be with him, be he wouldn’t be entirely yours.

“You look exquisite, Y/N. Bucky is gonna faint when he sees you,” Peter interrupted your invasive thoughts, and you blushed slightly at his compliment. You looked him up and down, finding him dressed in a suit, looking sharp as hell.

“Well, you don’t look too bad yourself, Mr Handsome! All you mobster boys can dress up really nicely, Imma give you that,” you smirked at him, getting into the back of the car. You could see Peter blushing as well, and you had to chuckle. He really was too sweet for this life.

The car ride was filled with the two of you laughing like crazy people, him sharing some stories about his aunt May, while you told him what your younger twin-sisters did to prank you when they were little. You didn’t even realise you were driving so long when you suddenly saw a beautiful renaissance building in front of you, with red and black drapes hanging on the railings, giving the whole building a hellish look.

Bucky really did take the whole theme seriously, you thought as you got out of the car with Peter’s help.

You looked around the entrance, and could already see many people, standing there and chatting. Your eyes slid to the women, who were all scarcely dressed, all their dresses reminding you more of lingerie than an actual dress. You gulped and looked down at yourself, suddenly feeling weird in your silky red dress with tin straps and long slit. It was still a long dress, and you wished you wore something more revealing, doubting that Bucky would even spare you a glance in the vast amount of mini-dresses, where the women showed their panties without hesitation.

Peter saw your doubts, and he rushed to your side. He didn’t understand what was going on, but he wanted to make sure you were ok, nevertheless.

“He’s right inside, Y/N. C’mon, you look lovely, and I bet the big boss is anxiously awaiting your arrival.”

You scoffed and shook your head.

“Look around, Peter. Everyone looks much hotter than me and, let’s be honest, Bucky is more prone to look at the girls with their boobs spilling out of their dress than at me, barely showing anything other than a bit of cleavage and my leg. Ugh! I should’ve known that this was not a normal ball. Maybe I should’ve let Bucky buy me the damn dress, and he would actually like what he saw!”  

Peter squinted his eyes and then raised his eyebrow, unbelievingly.

“Wait a second. You think Bucky will be interested in anybody else than you? I meant it when I said you looked exquisite, and if you only gave Bucky the chance to actually tell you himself, maybe these idiotic doubts wouldn’t come to your mind,” Peter said with a smirk, proud that he could scold you like that without apologising.

You gaped at him slightly, before you blinked a few times and let him know that you were ready to walk into the lion’s den. You caught Peter’s elbow, not willing to face all those people alone, and he gladly let you use his arm as both physical and moral support.

You could feel people staring at you, some with curiosity, but most, and especially the women, with distrust and disdain. You pursed your lips even harder, not giving them the chance to talk to you because you needed to find your footing first. You needed to find Bucky to calm down. Or to tell you that you weren’t what he wanted and you could go home and cry.

Peter wasn’t really sure where his boss was, but he was determined to find him as soon as possible, preferably before you’ve had enough of your self-doubts and turned around to leave the party. From the very first second, Peter met you, he enjoyed your presence, around the mansion and around Bucky, and he was determined to keep you two together.

When he finally noticed three men, standing like they owned the place, and he noticed that the shapes of the heads matched heads of Bucky, Steve, and Sam, he quickened his pace, not realising that your high heels didn’t let you run around like him. He tapped Bucky’s shoulder, and for a second, he was scared of his boss because Bucky gave him a look that said how dare you to disturb me, but that quickly changed.

Bucky glanced at Peter with a snarky retort on his tongue, when he noticed somebody with their beauty beyond words gripping Peter’s arm and his heart skipped a beat.

You looked like a goddess, or the queen of hell, to be more precise. Your dress wasn’t as revealing as most of the women in the ballroom, but maybe that was why Bucky loved your dress even more. They hugged your curves perfectly, leaving little to the imagination as they accentuated your breasts and your hips with your ass, the slit on your leg revealing your perfect thigh to the world. And as happy as Bucky was to see you, he suddenly didn’t like that dress that much.

You watched as Bucky’s expression changed from bitchy to amazed, to angry in a few seconds, and the last look almost made you take a step back. Why he was angry, suddenly, was beyond you.

Bucky nodded at Peter, who then let go of your arm, and Bucky stood impossibly close to you, pressing his chest against you in a desperate hug.

“What do you think you’re wearing, doll?” He hissed into your ear, and you bowed your head, ashamed. You knew he’d be pissed because you didn’t show enough.

“I’m so sorry, James. I thought this was a ball as in a ball, but when I came and saw all the mini dresses all around, I felt like a fool. I still do. Maybe I can make Peter drive me to the closest mall, and I can get myself something shorter? Or maybe tighter? I know how much-“

“Shorter? Tighter? Have you lost your fucking mind? I thought you were revealing too much! Everyone can see your perfect body like that, and that body’s mine! I don’t want these sly men ogling what’s fucking mine!”

You frowned and pulled away from him slightly.

“What? Have you seen what the other women are wearing? I’m like the most modest person here, babe!”

“Yeah, but all these women are mostly sluts only here to try and get into our pants. And while I’d love you in my pants, I can’t stand the idea that other men are thinking the same fucking thing,” he growled and instinctively pulled you to him again. You let him and smirked into the crook of his neck. He still had eyes just for you.

“I’m yours, Mr Barnes. No need to be jealous. I don’t care what other people think as long as you’re not ogling other women,” he whispered into his ear, and it was now his turn to pull away, his mouth turned to an amused smirk.

“Other women? I don’t even fucking see other women, doll. I told you, you’re different, and you’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

You giggled before he pulled you in a heated kiss, obviously laying claim on you, but you couldn’t care less. His claim on you meant that you had a claim on him, and so you happily obliged, hoping that all those bitches were watching you and understanding that your man was off-limits.

Bucky seemed to have read your mind because he gave you a knowing look and pecked your lips once again, before you started walking around the room, him talking to some important people, while you were standing by his side, calming him with your presence.

The whole night was rather pleasant, Bucky’s hand firmly placed on your hip, and whenever you had to go to the restroom, he would make Peter or Drax, or both take you there and back to him after. You wanted to fight him on this, but one stern look from him told you that this was not the place nor time when you should protest against his commands. So you always just rolled your eyes, inwardly, and let the guys take you to the restroom.

When you were back in Bucky’s arms, his shoulder lost the tension they had whenever you left his side. It was well after midnight, both you and Bucky had a glass of champagne in your hands, and you were stealing away a second for yourselves, having a hard time to keep your hands on your own bodies, when the other looked so delicious when you heard the first crash.

Bucky’s playful side was suddenly gone, and in was the sharp and concentrated man you remembered from the night of your attack. You exchanged a quick glance before you stepped into the room.

Another crash sounded, and you only then realised what it was. Gunshots. Somebody was shooting in the ballroom.

Before you knew what was happening, you were on the ground, panting heavily, and a pain shot through your whole body. This wasn’t happening.

It was only when you saw droplets of blood around you that you let the panic overwhelm you. You were under attack, and there was almost a zero chance that the two of you would make it out alive.

/ Next Chapter >

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Gate Crash

Summary; You and Juice decide to go on a weekend away from the Club. However, Club business tends to follow the sons everywhere.

WordCount; 1,057

Pairing; Juan “Juice” Ortiz x Reader

Warnings; Mentions of Sex, Violence, Swearing

Day 7  Day 9

                                         ��───────────────❥

It had all started ordinary. Well sort of. You and Juan had planned this date for weeks. You were going to leave Charming for a couple of days, grab a hotel in a random location and explore the town you were staying in. No club business to take care of just quality time for you and Juice. From the moment the two of you left town, it was supposed to be about the two of you.

However, being apart of SAMCRO, normal meant running from your lives away from a couple of drug dealing thugs that the club had betrayed. You no longer believed that the two of you could engage in regular couple activities. Now it appeared weekend that romantic weekends included running from danger.

“Everything is going to be fine. We’ll lose these guys and then get on with our weekend. Sound Fun?” Turning to look at your boyfriend, you highly doubted that this current situation was going to end anytime soon.

“It does if it was realistic. What the hell did SAMCO do anyway to piss these guys off in the first place?” You questioned as Juan tried to keep an eye on the two men chasing after you as they loaded their guns.

“They might have doubled crossed them. In Clay’s defence, the guy is a grade-A douchebag. He makes the Mayans look like Saints. This weekend was supposed to convince you that being an old Lady wasn’t so bad.” Screaming, you dived your head down as a bullet aimed in your direction.

“You want me to be your old Lady? Are you trying to be romantic while we’re running for our lives.” This conversation had arguably the worst timing as you leapt over a park bench. You never imagined that your mind could be on anything apart from running for your lives, but Juan knew when to pick his moments.

“Of course, I want you to be my Old Lady. Why do you think I’ve done extra hours at the shop and with the club? I wanted this weekend to be special. I did not expect us to be running for our lives while we had this conversation." As Juan pushed through a crowd of people, he made certain that if the two gunmen were going to aim at him, you would not be in harm's way.

“When does anything go our way? Of course, I’ll be your old Lady, Juan.” Juan couldn’t be happier in that single moment, despite being chased by two erratic gunmen. With no-where to go, you looked around to see for a place to hide. Then you noticed a wedding reception taking place.

“Juan, the wedding.” You called out while the two of you ran down a stairwell, into a different apart of the street.

“Baby, I think now is not the time to get married. Although I’m sure Bobby would affricate a wedding for us when we get home.”

“Juan Carlos Oritz that better not be your proposal! I was suggesting that we hide in the wedding party.” Juan seemed to like the idea as the two of you ran in the direction of the wedding reception. Despite it only took seconds to cross the road and immersing with the bridal party. It didn’t seem to work as two men began to search through the crowd of people.

“I want you to get out of here and call Jax.” You didn’t respond to him as you dragged him away from the crowd of people and down the corridor, looking for any available open door.

“Did you not hear a word I just said? This is too dangerous.” Finally finding an unlocked door, you stepped inside of it, tugging Juan with you ignoring his grumbles.

“Why are we in a closet?” Juan raised his voice, as you covered his mouth with your hand, leaning up to his ear, you pressed a gentle kiss to the shell of his ear.

“To hide from the two gunmen currently chasing after us. It also gives you ample amounts of time to text Jax to let him know what’s going on.”

“Do I need to know anything? Because you appear to be really good at hiding from Gunmen. Have I ever told you about the fantasy I had about us having sex in a closet?”

“Juan, two people are trying to kill us.”

“Right, texting Jax. But you didn’t say no, so I’m going to take that as a maybe.” Rolling your eyes, you pressed a hard kiss onto Juan’s lips, which he gladly reciprocated.

“No it wasn’t a no, but can we find a closet that hasn’t involved us running into it so we can live.” With a text sent to Jax filling him in on the current situation. The two of you stood in front of each other, not sure what to do next.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look today?” Stepping forward, Juan placed a hand tentatively on the side of your face. 

“Juan, you tell me I look beautiful every day.” Leaning in, Juan’s lips pressed into yours as if they made of the most delicate material in the world.

“It’s because it’s true. You mean everything to me. I’m sorry the weekend has started off as we intended it to. I know being with me is complicated. It’s not like being in a relationship with a normal guy, but I want you to know I love you. There is not a thing I wouldn’t do to see you smile, to make you the happiest you can be. Baby, you make getting up every day worth it. You're like this ray of Sunshine that rids my world of the darkness that attempts to consume it. You are the moon of my life. I wouldn’t be anything without you. I just hope that this weekend hasn’t scared you away.”  You couldn’t prevent the tear following down your face as you looked into Juan’s eyes almost suffocated by the love that consumed them.

“Do you think Bobby would officiate a wedding?” Juan analysed your words for a moment or two before it registered in his mind.

“Wait, are you serious?”

“Of course, I’m serious. I don’t need a fancy wedding with everything. All I need is you and the Club of course since your all a package deal.” Juan couldn’t believe he was hearing, grabbing hold of your face, Juan kissed you with all his might. This might be the best day of his life.