#tripleS dance dimension

[pocoreo]

[nat-20s]

Doctor vs Master in terms of who I'd rather have as an enemy is Master all the fucking way. The thing about The Master is their number one priority is not their moral code or revenge or domination or being a villain no their number 1 priority no matter what is being high camp. If the master was after me I would just clap to lower the lights and make "masochism tango" start playing and then during the dance I'd cuff and collar them with some ridiculously strong stuff and at the end they'd be like "mon chéri...it seems you have foiled me for now, but we shall meet again" and then they'd kiss me hand and I probably would have at least a few years before they show up again. Whereas if you're not already in a deeply codependent situation ship and you piss off The Doctor their number one priority is Fucking Getting You. You can fuck off to the year 6 billion in the 13th dimension and they'll still find your ass and be like "I tripled your lifespan and also gave you anterograde amnesia so everyday you will wake up with fewer and fewer loved ones but the grief will be brand new" like jesus christ man i don't wanna deal with that

[ckret2]

The second dimension has burned up, almost(?) everyone is dead, the ones that aren't dead wish they were, and this funny little yellow triangle the Axolotl met one time is some kind of god ghost party host tyrant.

Wanna make it even worse?? I know you do. Let's make it so much worse.

Here, have a fic. Last week's Part 1 is about Bill doing some kind of cosmic horror shit to the Axolotl; part 2 here is about the Axolotl trying to process the most horrifying thing he's ever seen while a bunch of the most annoying gods you've ever seen argue about building inspections and vandalism.

####

When the Axolotl tumbled out of the bloated pocket of reality where Dimension Zero's singularity was supposed to be, for a moment he thought he'd gotten turned around and flown straight back in, because here again was the yellow triangle's nightmarish party: the geometric rainbow of corpses and undead puppeted into dancing for their "magister," the flashing strobe lights, the hissing whispery white noise like the echoes of a Big Bang had gained sentience and started passing secrets to each other, the cacophonous music that seemed to be every song playing at once.

He had to shake his head to clear it and make sense of what he was seeing. No corpses, no dancing: all he was seeing was all the gods who'd gathered together outside the incinerated two dimensional wall to help deal with the criss, at least triple what there had been before he'd entered what-wasn't-Dimension-Zero. The flashing lights were the cameras and broadcasting equipment of reporters, cordoned off from the Apocalyptic Threat Task Force's main center of operations but still crowding as close as possible to see what the firefighters and ATTF were doing. The whispers were the buzz of activity among the emergency response workers.

And the music was only playing in his own head.

A few gods glanced at him as he emerged from the immense roiling miasma that had replaced Dimension Zero, but they had their own business to deal with and he wasn't part of it, so he was quickly ignored. He wouldn't know what to say if anyone had spoken to him. It was hard to think of anything but the dancing.

He should tell someone what he'd seen. Numbly, he looked around for the storm cloud with the ATTF he'd spoken to earlier, but couldn't pick it out from the crowd.

There was one "face" in the crowd he distantly recognized: a harried-looking vending machine filled with planets and moons—VENDOR, the Axolotl was pretty sure. Some politician. THEY were irritably shifting THEIR worlds back and forth on THEIR spiral racks as THEY spoke to one of the ATTF's many apocalypse cops; THEY'd already vended five planets that the apoc cop had cradled in their tentacles. As the Axolotl swam past the duo in search of the cloud, he heard VENDOR snapping, "—I'll have you know elections are coming up again. The last thing I need is Municipalitron suggesting this lackluster response to a gaping hole into Dimension Zero is MY fault! By the time those rubbernecking reporters make it around your flimsy barrier, I want to be able to report you've cleaned up this mess—" Was the incinerated Dimension 2 Delta even in THEIR district?

He saw THEM on the news from time to time at cosmic crises like this, providing temporary planets for refugees until they could be moved to other worlds (or, in dire enough circumstances—other dimensions); that must be what THEY were here for now. It tended to get THEM a lot of good press. The Axolotl didn't know how much of it was deserved.

To the Axolotl's further distaste, there were also cops here now—not the apoc cops, they were fine, but cop-cops: he saw one crablike being with red and blue mushrooms growing out from where his eyes used to be, and two interlocked fiery rings with a hundred distrustful eyes. They were talking to the hapless furred serpent the Axolotl had seen before he'd gone in to investigate Dimension Zero, the one who'd called in the emergency. She didn't look at all comfortable with whatever they were asking. Why the hell did a spontaneously combusting universe call for the police? Who did they think they were going to arrest? Who did they think they could blame for the fire? The fire itself?

Unless they thought it was arson?

There was the storm cloud: it was talking to another apoc cop, a floating flock of sheep with an ATTF badge pinned in their rain-soaked wool. The Axolotl headed their direction—but paused at the sight of the triangle's sun.

Before Dimension 2 Delta had burned, the little triangle's two-dimensional home planet had been illuminated by a sun shining down on it from the third dimension—a sun no one but the triangle could see. With 2Δ gone, the third dimension was slowly falling into Dimension Zero's nauseating threshold; and in the time the Axolotl had been talking to the triangle, his sun had fallen halfway toward the threshold.

He carefully picked it up and nudged it a safe distance back, then shook the sting of heat out of his paws. 

Someone said, "Hold on, you're the one who defaced the Department of Multiversal Vehicles' office!"

The Axolotl turned to look. VENDOR had apparently ganged up with the cops against the serpent. He groaned under his breath.

Looking between the trio with panic in her eyes and clutching her spray paint can anxiously to her underbelly, the serpent was saying, "Okay, okay, maybe I was out here to do a little graffiti—"

The Axolotl winced and muttered, "Oh, don't voluntarily confess anything." The cloud could wait. He hurried in their direction.

"—but I hadn't actually started anything when the dimension caught on fire! I mean—all right maybe I'd done a couple of tags, but only in vacuum, nowhere near any stars! And the fire started way off from where I was—"

"That sounds likely," VENDOR said.

"You've already got a rap sheet for vandalism," the crablike cop said. "Decided to try out arson—?"

The tentacled apoc cop who'd been speaking to VENDOR earlier cut into the conversation. "Lay off, we've already checked her out. The combustible material in a can of spray paint would only take out a solar system at most. Do you have any idea, any idea, just how much power it takes to burn a whole dimension?"

The dual fiery rings wheeled aggressively in front of the apoc cop. "You let us do our job, calamari. Just focus on doing your own."

"Don't mind if I do," the Axolotl said. He put himself between the accused criminal and the gods of punishment, gills flared and curled forward. "I believe this serpent was a witness to the fire. Is she under arrest?" (He could feel some of the mental numbness wearing off, the horror loosen its grip on his heart as he focused on doing his job.)

VENDOR took one look at him and scoffed. "Oh, you. I know who you are," THEY said. "I suppose this is one of your pro bono clients." All one hundred and two of the cops' eyes immediately snapped to the Axolotl.

Why did everyone think that today? "No," the Axolotl said exasperatedly, "she's not. But I do know her rights. Including her right not to answer any of your questions." (The serpent's jaw snapped shut.) "Do you?"

The cops both bristled. VENDOR drew THEMSELF up to THEIR full height (which was the same height THEY'd already been, a metal brick being rather inflexible like that) and prepared to retort—but THEIR internal camera caught on something just to the Axolotl's side. "Oh, no. Not her."

The Axolotl turned. Hovering in the void behind them, so small and translucent she'd be unnoticeable if not for the faint pinkish glow she gave off, was an astrally-projected mortal soul: a four-armed salamander-like woman with a robe and a string of beads wrapped around one wrist. She opened her eyes, blinking up at the Axolotl.

"Oracle," the Axolotl said, half greeting, half a surprised query. The Oracle bowed her head to him.

To the mortals she served, the Oracle was a priestess who received messages from a god: prophecies to help her people understand the divine and navigate the future. To the beings powerful enough to get called gods, the Oracle was essentially one in a long line of intern news bloggers that the Axolotl occasionally had coffee with to discuss local politics and court cases. His Oracles were almost always low-level mortal criminals who had gotten themselves involved in enough trouble to attract gods' attention, but whom he'd taken under his fin to help get out of that life before they graduated to crimes against reality. The Axolotl thought it was important to offer mortals help before they crossed a line they could never uncross, and important to keep an open conduit of information between higher and lower planes. He thought the people who had the power to shape reality owed transparency to the people living in the realities they shaped.

Not everyone agreed. 

"You smuggled your reporter past the barricade," VENDOR said accusatorially. (The cops visibly flinched at the word "reporter," the crablike one nervously clacking his claws and the ringed one's many eyes widening.)

"No, I had no idea she was coming." Which was unusual. Usually, the Axolotl visited the Oracle in her sleep to catch her up on his day's work and how it might affect mortal affairs; it wasn't often the Oracle sought him out first.

"Well, I'm not making a statement." VENDOR abruptly turned THEIR back to the Axolotl and his Oracle. "If anyone asks, no comment. I'm not commenting on the current incident." The cops also took the opportunity to quietly slink off. The Axolotl watched them go, making sure they didn't find someone new to bully as they left.

The Oracle shot VENDOR and the cops a puzzled look. The Axolotl said, "Don't worry about THEM. Why are you here?"

"Our seers have had premonitions. Could you enlighten us on their meaning?" the Oracle asked.

"Of course. What did they see?"

"They've received visions of an explosion in the... sky..." She trailed off, staring in wonder at the gap into Dimension Zero behind the incinerated wall. "Is... that the explosion?"

Before the Axolotl could answer, the storm cloud he'd been looking for swept past to loom over her. She flinched as her view of her god was suddenly blocked by a torrential thunderstorm, and flinched again as a sunbeam pierced the clouds to shine directly upon her and a serious voice boomed down from the tempestuous heavens: "Your people witnessed it?"

"There you are," the Axolotl said. "I was looking for you—"

The cloud pointed at him with a finger of lightning. "I'll get your statement second. Mortal's first. They don't last as long." (The Axolotl didn't think the Oracle was going to die of old age in the time it would take him to explain what he'd seen in Dimension Zero, but he didn't argue.) It said to the tentacled god, "Get those planets out to the flat worlders. The flock's already out there."

"On it." They tightened their tentacles around the worlds VENDOR had already passed over, and quickly scuttled off toward the line of blue light on the interdimensional horizon.

The storm asked the Oracle, "Can you describe what happened?"

"Uh..." She looked around nervously, trying to find the source of the voice, not realizing it came from the storm itself. "That's... what I came here to find out."

The Axolotl slipped his tail over her as an umbrella. (He needed the water, anyway; he'd been too close to too many fires today.) "Just tell it what your seers saw, like you were telling me. You may be able to help us."

"Help how?"

"None of us directly witnessed the 'explosion' your seers did."

Her eyes widened in alarm. "How do the gods not witness something?"

The Axolotl hesitated. "Even gods' eyes aren't all-seeing." He decided he didn't want the first thing he told his Oracle about the situation to be that all the gods that could have directly witnessed the "explosion" had been killed by it.

As the Oracle spoke, the storm cloud took notes in a damp notepad it kept steady with a current of air, burning the information onto the pages with a thread of lightning that meandered across the page like a Tesla coil. VENDOR, who'd backed out of "interviewing" range but not out of hearing range, partially turned to listen to her statement. (And while the other gods were distracted, the furred serpent quietly slunk off, trying to hide her spray paint as she did; the Axolotl didn't call attention to her. If the storm needed anything else from her, no doubt it had already gotten her contact info. Better that she go before the cops circled back to harass her some more.)

The Oracle said that her people's seers had seen a whole patch of the sky burning bright blue and collapsing together, the edges going black and the center growing impossibly bright, until everything sank into the center—and then went dark. Only once it was dark could they see what the light had been concealing: behind the collapsed patch of sky, there was a sea of seething colors. (The assembled group tried not to stare too obviously at the multicolored miasma that used to be Dimension Zero.) One seer had gone blind staring straight into the light, trying to discover anything about its nature.

The cloud asked, "And did she see anything important?"

The Oracle said hesitantly, as though not sure whether this detail mattered: "She said the light was... triangular."

A chill settled over the Axolotl. 

The cloud stopped, perplexed. "Huh." And then it dutifully burned that information down as well.

(Maybe it was nothing; triangles were very common symbols, lots of phenomena naturally formed triangles. Or maybe what she'd seen was whatever the triangle had done to try to save his people. Or maybe, maybe....)

While the cloud was focused on taking down its notes, the Oracle dragged her eyes from the tumbling colors of Dimension Zero and turned to the Axolotl. "We're worried about what these visions mean." She switched from interviewee to interviewer, all journalistic professionalism. "What did they see? What was this explosion?"

The Axolotl focused on the question to push the triangle from his mind. His eyes began to glow, as he recited:

"The multiverse is layered planes,

Stacked to bear existence's strains.

1D pillars, 2D walls,

3D rooms in 4D halls;

On a 0D foundation:

That's reality's construction. 

One wall falls into the basement,

It can shake the whole apartment.

But other walls can still load-bear

Until the gods can make repairs."

"Okay... Thank you. And—our plane is 3D?"

"That's right."

The Oracle took notes of her own: one of her four hands spun in loose loops, like an absent-minded conductor. In her physical body, she'd be holding a marker in a trance, copying down the prophecy the Axolotl had given her. No doubt it would be in the mortal papers on her world by tomorrow. The Axolotl thought it was better that the mortals know there was something wrong but that the people who had the power to do something about it were on the job, rather than just worry without answers. (Again, he was sometimes in the minority opinion. VENDOR was managing to give him the stink eye without a face.) "Is the multiverse actually structured like an apartment complex?"

"No," the Axolotl said. "It's a helpful visual metaphor." And it had rhymed with basement.

"But... this is something you can fix?"

"It is. There are gods of space and doomsday already here working to stabilize the foundation and repair the fallen wall." (VENDOR's lights flickered a bit brighter at the positive acknowledgment to the press.)

"Gods of doomsday?" She gave him an alarmed look.

"It's a misleading title. The ones here work to prevent accidental apocalypses."

"You're underselling the severity of the issue," the storm cloud muttered, not looking up from its notes. "This isn't your run-of-the-mill cosmic repair job. A second dimension's fully collapsed into the zeroth dimension. That's a plane packed into a point. That shouldn't be possible. It's destabilized everything built on top of the zeroth dimension—which means the entire multiverse." (VENDOR tried to shush it. It didn't acknowledge THEM.) "Plus, this fire is kicking our collective butts. One- and two-dimensional gods are getting incinerated, not even afterlives and underworlds are escaping the fire, reality itself is at risk of collapsing, we still don't know what's doing it—"

VENDOR let out a beep that was as loud as a car alarm. "Is there any reason the mortals need to know that!"

"Ehh... not that I can think of." The cloud glanced up from its notes. "They're powerless to do anything about it. It'd just make them worry about something that's out of their h..." Its roving sunbeams caught on the Oracle, still diligently taking notes on this out-of-control fire. "Oh."

Quietly, the Oracle asked, "You're sure the multiverse will be fine? If this fire even kills gods..."

The Axolotl paused. "I was more sure a second ago."

"It'll stand," the storm cloud said grimly, "but if we can't stop the fires, not for long. We've called out every god we can to help, but..."

"It should stand," VENDOR said quickly. "I'm sure the other walls are fine—I've personally seen to it that we're rigorous about maintaining our dimensions' structural integrity."

The cloud's sunbeam aimed ruefully at the missing wall. "Good work," it muttered.

VENDOR rounded angrily on it, "Well all the preventative cosmic inspections in the multiverse are useless if the inspectors didn't do their job right! Which they clearly didn't!"

The cloud raised a wall of fog defensively.

VENDOR paced in an angry figure 8 as THEY fumed, "It's incompetence all around! I'll bet anything it was electricians who miswired the laws of electromagnetism and shorted them out, or—or something! A properly constructed load-bearing wall imploding, much less dumping into the center of reality, just doesn't happen! And nobody noticed the danger?"

"We can't rule out the possibility of terrorism yet," the cloud said. 

 VENDOR rounded on the cloud to demand, "What terrorist would risk destroying the multiverse?!"

Angry lightning danced around its tornado. "How should I freaking know! A stupid one?!"

"Hah! That's all you've got?! The dimensions might have been burned by a stupid terrorist?" THEY turned on the Oracle. "Do not print that!"

Her hand froze mid-loop.

Thunder rumbled in the storm cloud. "Look, apocalypse Origin & Cause is still investigating, and the cosmic engineering inspector isn't here yet. If you'd give us five nanoseconds to do our jobs—!"

"What do you mean, isn't here yet! What's taking them so long?"

"I just put in the call—"

"That's no excuse, they ought to have been here before you called! Do engineers have time tapes or not!" VENDOR let out several irritated beeps as THEIR internal motors ground in irritation. "Probably dragging their heels because they didn't do their job properly before the dimension fell! Oh, I'm going to give them a piece of my mind." THEY charged off, still muttering, "I'll have the heads of the last inspector and the lazy subcontractors who didn't build this dimension up to code! If this does anything to jeopardize my reelection— You there, police!" (The crab cop, who'd attempted to make himself useful by eyeing the reporters still outside the cordon menacingly, started at being directly addressed again.) "I need your assistance! I need someone to hold up a phone for me."

The Axolotl gave THEM a wide berth as THEY passed. Even as a god who almost exclusively dealt with the dead, this level of devastation left the Axolotl stunned with horror. But VENDOR's biggest concern wasn't the loss of life? Nor the threat to public safety posed by the exposed and mutated Dimension Zero? It was a stupid election?

He made a mental note to look into Municipalitron's policies before the next election.

Quietly, the Oracle asked, "Are you safe here? If there's a fire that can even kill gods..."

When the storm had told the Axolotl about 2Δ's fire, it had said not even gods and ghosts made it out— The Axolotl's frills perked up. "Right, I came back here to tell it— Er, yes, I think I'm safe—but I need to tell—" He turned to the storm cloud, "I haven't told you what I saw yet!"

"Oh, right—I meant to congratulate you on coming back alive." It flipped to a new page in its notepad. "Congrats."

"You said that everyone in 2Δ died," the Axolotl said.

"They did. I can guarantee it." It grew its tornado to pantomime an expanding ring: "The readings Origin & Cause have gotten so far indicate that an enormous gravitational wave from the spontaneous combustion event's epicenter tore the universe apart. Imagine gluing a bunch of corn chips to a tablecloth, pulling the tablecloth tight from both sides, and dragging the tablecloth straight down off one end of the table. It'd shatter all the chips as they passed over the table's edge. Destroyed everyone and everything in that universe, on every plane. Landscape, mindscape, dreamscape..."

"Well," the Axolotl said, with the edge of triumph he got whenever he figured out how to rip a prosecutor's witness in half, "I found survivors. So how's that possible?"

He expected surprise. Instead, the cloud bobbed up and down in recognition, as though the Axolotl were confirming something it already knew. 

On the other hand, from half a solar system away, VENDOR shouted indignantly, "I beg your pardon?!" THEY leaned away from the phone the cop was holding for THEM. "How many?" THEY began rotating through THEIR internal selection of planets.

"Two or three million," the Axolotl called back.

VENDOR huffed irritably and switched to looking through their collection of much smaller, rockier astronomical bodies. "Hardly worth a moon, much less a planet," THEY muttered. "From Dimension 2 Delta, I assume."

"No," the storm cloud said. "Everyone in 2Δ is dead. He must've found the poor suckers getting dragged down from the other dimensions."

The Axolotl stared at it. "Dragged down from what?"

Before the cloud could answer, the flock of sheep it had been speaking to earlier called, "Boss?" They had clearly just come from the direction of the bright blue line on the horizon—and their fleeces was now stained with soot. "We're losing refugees even faster in Dimension 2 Epsilon, what's the new plan?" Dimension 2 Epsilon?

The Axolotl felt a chill wind blow off the storm cloud; but its voice was just as hard as ever as it said, "I'll check it out myself." Its sunbeam pointed toward the Axolotl. "Maybe you oughta come along, I can explain it on the way." it said. "Just you." And the beam drifted down to highlight the Oracle.

"Yes, I understand."

Its bright gaze turned toward the apoc flock. "Hold down the fort until we get back."

"Got it, boss."

The Axolotl turned to the Oracle and said quietly, "You should wake up. I'll contact you with more when I can."

As strongly as he believed the mortals ought to be privy to whatever knowledge the gods had about the crisis, he didn't think traumatizing his Oracle wold benefit anyone.

####

Apparently, the Axolotl had only been told about half the situation. As they traveled along where Dimension 2 Delta used to be, the storm cloud caught him up on the rest. It had been telling the truth about everything in 2Δ being destroyed. It had simply burned too fast and too thoroughly, and it wasn't until the flames reached the edges of the universe and looped back to eat themselves that the inferno began to slow down.

Slow down... but not stop.

Why hadn't the Axolotl realized sooner? Why would there be so many firefighters on the scene, if the fire had gone out before the first ever arrived? What was the distant blue line of light he'd followed until he found the ATTF's center of operations, if not the light of still-burning stars? Why would VENDOR have come to provide new worlds for refugees, if everyone had been so sure 2Δ didn't have any refugees?

When the flames had reached the edge of 2Δ, they'd effortlessly incinerated the first dimensions bordering its edges, like a flame consuming a flash string in a magic trick, and moved straight across to the next second dimensions.

"Dimensions 2 Delta, 1 Gamma-Delta, and 1 Delta-Epsilon were completely incinerated before anyone arrived on the scene," the cloud said. "We lost 1 Alpha-Delta and 1 Delta-Zeta after we got here—it's a miracle the fire didn't cross from 2 Delta over 1 Alpha-Delta into 2 Alpha. 2 Gamma's over ninety percent gone; at this point we're trying to detach it from the closest first dimensions and hoping the flames will stop at its borders. And we're just trying to rescue who we can from 2 Epsilon and 2 Zeta, because every time we start to get the fire under control, it restarts itself."

The Axolotl felt sick. Five dimensions had been destroyed? Three more dimensions were still burning—one on the verge of being lost?

"Some of your survivors must've been dragged down into Dimension Zero," it went on. "Or into the miasma around it. I guess you must not have run into Zero itself in there, or else you wouldn't be here to tell us about it."

"I don't think Dimension Zero is in that miasma; I think the miasma is Dimension Zero. It had some properties of a spaciotemporal singularity... except it's... big. Big but—all in one place. And there's time happening, but all in one moment." He was in no fit state to try to explain this. He wasn't sure he even understood himself.

"Huh," the storm said. "Never seen anything like that before. I guess that explains where the rubble from 2Δ went, but—I have no idea how the physics in there must be working."

"I didn't see any rubble. Would there be any? If everything was destroyed—gods, souls, afterlives, dreams..."

"Subatomic ashes. The dimension's matter still oughta be somewhere."

He tried to remember if he'd seen anything that might be subatomic ashes. All he could remember was the three dimensional stars and stardust that had fallen in—and the party, and the bleeding. "If it was there, I wouldn't know how to sense it."

By the time they reached the edge of Dimension 2 Epsilon, and a 2D plane once more safely covered up the shifting border of Dimension Zero, the distant line of light had grown into a sea of pallid blue flame: the hydrogen of countless two dimensional stars burning as their universe crumbled and crunched up. In the distance, beyond the fire's perimeter, the Axolotl could see the still-unburned flat constellations and nebulas—and the divine firefighters chopping and hacking the universe in twain ahead of the fire edge. He realized that fire crews he'd seen nervously milling about earlier were just a skeleton crew: the real firefighting force was out here.

The flames seemed reluctant to lick up into the third dimension; they clung hard to the second dimensions, barely even radiating heat into the neighboring universe. There was an eerie focused calm to the gods trying to stop the fires below—all the devastation beneath them, close enough to touch, and yet not touching them. Yet. 

Even as many firefighters as were out here trying to get the fire under control, they couldn't cover the entire perimeter; and so the storm cloud lead the Axolotl right up to the fire edge along a span that the stretched-thin firefighting force didn't currently have covered. They were close enough that a few of the storm's raindrops fell on the fire, making it sizzle out in some small spots, only for the inferno to roar back to life a moment later.

The storm spoke for the first time in several minutes: "I can't begin to tell you how, but it's like the fire's fighting back against us. Every time the fire crews get even a little bit under control, it erupts again. We've had to start breaking off the burning portions of reality to keep the fires from spreading to the rest of the dimension," it gestured at the gods at work cracking off an enormous slab of existence from the rest of the dimension to create a chasm half a galaxy wide between the fire and the as yet still safe portion of the universe. The separated portion buckled and bubbled in the fire like a melting piece of plastic. "And... even that's not enough. Cosmic fires aren't my speciality—but I'm told breaking a dimension is guaranteed to stop a fire. But this one just keeps finding a way to... jump across."

"What do you mean, 'jump across'?"

On the safe side of the chasm, at least a lightyear away, a perfectly well-behaved solar system randomly burst into a geyser of flames.

"Oh."

Firefighters rushed to the newly burning star. Several planets had already blackened, curled up, and crumbled to ashes. The ashes rained down into Dimension Zero.

The storm cloud turned their path toward the new fire, the Axolotl following close behind. "They don't even always pop up near the fire edge like this." (As though a flame jumping an entire lightyear away could be called "near.") "Half a dozen popped up at random throughout Dimension 2 Gamma before we even realized how this fire moved. And as if that isn't bad enough, if the fire isn't targeting mortals, I'll eat my fedora."

This time, the Axolotl decided not to tempt fate by asking how a fire could target anything.

The firefighters struggled to contain the new fire with a line of 3D flame-retardant foam. They weren't even trying to put the fire out, he realized; they'd given up the solar system for lost. They were only trying to keep the fire back from one planet: a disc-shaped world, already cracked from the way the heat had warped and bent this dimension's surface, surrounded by billions of glittery flecks. People. His frills flicked forward in alarm.

Rescuers were using planet-sized planes to scoop the bewildered two-dimensional people off their endangered dimension, like spatulas trying to rescue a pancake from a skillet in the fires of hell, and handing them off to other rescuers to relocate to one of the refugee planets VENDOR had supplied. But as the storm and Axolotl caught up the fire somehow found a way past the solid wall of 3D foam to ignite the moon orbiting the hapless planet.

And as if that wasn't enough, it sprung up on the people, too. The screaming populations of entire towns spontaneously caught fire. To his horror, the Axolotl understood now what the storm had meant by the fires targeting mortals. Reality warped and bent beneath them, twisting, melting; burning people were crushed together by the distortions in reality and fused together into dozen-mouthed wailing bodies. The overburdened plane of reality ripped and disintegrated like threadbare fabric over a candle, and people fell screaming into Dimension Zero before they could be caught.

The storm cloud flinched back with a flash of lightning. "Shoot—it is getting faster."

The Axolotl automatically lunged forward to help them. A split-second wall of shrieking lightning blocked his path and a gust of wind pushed him back. "Don't," the storm snapped. "Leave it to the professionals."

"Sorry." The Axolotl backed up a safe distance with the storm cloud, stomach twisting. "Is there any way I can help—?"

"No," the storm cloud said quickly. "This fire can pop up anywhere—it's already caught four firefighters, and they're trained to deal with this stuff. We can't risk it spreading to the third dimension."

He hated not helping—but unfortunately, he understood. "How did you put out the fires on the firefighters?"

"We didn't. We threw them into Dimension Zero."

The storm was right; there was nothing natural about a fire that could kill gods.

"I've gotta go find out the latest," it said. "Can you stay out of trouble for a few minutes?"

"Yes. I promise." Although it might be the hardest thing he'd ever done.

The storm cloud left the Axolotl; and the Axolotl watched the fire.

####

It went against every instinct in his body not to reach out to scoop up the falling dead.

He'd worked for eons as a psychopomp before switching to a career that gave him more of a voice in what happened to the souls he escorted. He'd met billions of species with billions of different ways of dying; he wasn't squeamish around corpses, injuries, rot, disease. He was comfortable around death. Heck, he and death had each other's phone numbers for emergencies—they regularly crossed paths at professional networking events. 

But there were some deaths worse than others, and there were fates worse than death. As he watched, an oval with thin little arms plummeted into a direction it couldn't even see, its body burning up; and then its ghost burned up, too. It would never join the eternal dance party, and the Axolotl wasn't sure whether it was the lucky one.

As he watched, the Axolotl noticed something strange. Like any populated world, there were probably millions to trillions of different species around this one, although at a glance the Axolotl could only spy a handful. But although all of them were eventually caught by the flames, there was only one species that seemed to be victim of spontaneous combustion—and that seemed to be falling into Dimension Zero: the people that looked like living geometric shapes.

When the storm returned, it was quieter; even its tornado spun more slowly. The Axolotl got the sense it hadn't received good news.

But it didn't share what it had received. It said, "I've seen my fair share of apocalypses, but I've never seen anything like this before. Whatever this fire is, it's not natural." The eye of the storm watched one of the melting people falling like cinders into the center of the multiverse, until even its sunbeam couldn't pierce the miasma. "Ten to one, I'd bet you something intelligent is doing that."

"Your stupid terrorist?"

The cloud laughed ruefully. "Yeah." It watched a moment longer; then sighed out a long gust of wind and tried to rally some of its earlier stoicism. "So. Those people you saw in Dimension Zero must be the mortals from the dimensions around 2Δ getting dragged in by the fire. You can see how they've been peeling off their planes when the flames get 'em. I'm amazed they survived the fall into Dimension Zero."

"Survived" maybe wasn't the word the Axolotl would choose; but he didn't know how to begin to explain the horrors he'd seen down there.

He tore his eyes from the terrible rain of corpses. "Not all of them," he said. "I know for a fact at least one of the survivors is from 2Δ. I know him. I've met him before."

"You have." The storm managed to look dubious at this. "You're sure it wasn't an alternate of the same guy from a neighboring dimension?"

"I talked to him in Dimension 2 Delta. He remembered meeting me. It's him."

"Huh." The storm processed that silently. "Nope. I've got no explanation for that."

####

(Thanks for reading!! If the art lured you in and this is the first chapter you read, this is part 2 of a 5-or-6 part fic about the Axolotl in the immediate aftermath of the Euclidean Massacre. Here's part one if you missed it. I'm posting one chapter a week, Fridays 5pm CST, so stick around if you wanna watch the Axolotl slowly discover just how much of a monster that silly triangle he likes really is.

It's ALSO chapter 61 PART TWO of an ongoing post-canon post-TBOB very-reluctantly-human Bill fic. I'm gonna fix the chapter numbering once I know how many chapters this plot is. If you're not sold on the idea of a human Bill fic, I've also got a oneshot about normal triangle Bill escaping the Theraprism if you wanna read that.

If this is NOT your first time here and you already knew all of the above: nobody commented on the fact that I was calling Bill's dimension "Dimension 2 Delta" rather than just "the second dimension"—but I hope that, somewhere in your hearts, some of you were wondering what I had to differentiate his dimension from that necessitated labeling it Delta. :)

I think this is probably the least horrifying out of all the chapters. Because of that, I'm worried it's kinda boring, but that might just be because I'm comparing it to the undead corpse party. And also Bill isn't here.

It's also the least edited chapter because I may or may not have spent the last three days drawing the second dimension burning instead of writing and ran 30 minutes past posting time doing last minute rewrites lmao. So uh, lemme know if there are any typos, sentences that don't make sense because I changed how I wanted to phrase them halfway through and didn't notice, weird internal contradictions, whatever.

But more importantly let me know what y'all think!!)

[carelessflower]

compare and contrast the babygirlosity of show!Alec and book!Alec? 🥺

oh? little old me? analyzing alec babygirlism? you have come to the right place my disciple. but first let me present to you my little theory regarding babygirl rating

The Triple B-babygirl Diagram

In this theory, I hypothesize that every babygirl will display the three aspects of the diagram, the variety of their individual level will be the main distinguishing factor for their babygirlism. I will proceed to use this model to analyze the common ground and differences between book alec and show alec

Common Demeanor

In general, I would say both book alec and show alec display all three pillars of The Triple B-babygirl Diagram. Aside from the obvious difference in their height and eye color, book alec has blue eyes, and show alec has hazel eyes, I picture they are quite similar in terms of appearance. Both having fair skin, big eyes, long eyelashes, fluffy hair, and kissable lips. Their babygirlism shows through their interaction with their family, mainly their siblings, friends and their partner - magnus lightwood-bane. it is clearly presented in the text that ever since they got together with their boyfriend, now husband, the high warlock of brooklyn, they are more relaxed and feel more comfortable showing their babygirlism. This is demonstrated through their pouting, acting bratty, and the shy and dry humor they use. Nevertheless, there are still determined elements that distinguish the two versions babygirlism

Book Alec - High Dimension in Baby and Bitchy

This is not to say book alec does not show traits of brattiness, he does, but his bitchiness and babiness contribute more to the overall babygirlism. He's very close off around stranger and uses his prickly exterior and dry insult to ward them away. He can also be very bossy at times, being the oldest in the group and thus feeling a sense of responsibility to manage them well. This coupled with his innocence and overwhelmed display of surprise whenever his romantic partner seems to compliment or notice him is what makes his babygirlism exciting

Show Alec - High Dimension in Baby and Bratty

As for show alec, the decision to age him up and highlight his duty to be the model son that comes with his firstborn status is highlighted more compared to his book counterpart. Due to this deviation, one can propose that alec acts more mature than in his book version, he would make snide remarks here but he manages his emotions generally better. That is why in the moments he is with magnus, the bratty side of his personality comes out, such as: being grumpy magnus wakes up so early, feigning offended when magnus doubts his dancing ability, complaining about the name of fatty tuna, and more

In conclusion book alec is princess babygirlism while show alec is queen babygirlism

[losergender]

you know what's timebomb coded? the entire home video album by lucy dacus released in 2021. (s2 act 3 spoilers ahead)

"you used to be so sweet, now you're a firecracker on a crowded street" -> from powder being a major sweetheart to jinx being (lovingly and not so lovingly) a pain in the ass that annoys everyone (and also literally carrying explosives around) | "led me to the floor even though i'm not a dancer" -> literally them dancing in ep7 | "how did i believe i had a hold on you? you were always stronger than people suspected, underestimated and overprotected" -> GUYS THIS IS LITERALLY EKKO TALKING ABOUT POWDER ISTG !!! "a hidden gem, my own goldmine, you had the wide and wild eyes" -> jinx eyes changing color and all "NOW YOU'RE THE BIGGEST BRIGHTEST FLAME, YOU ARE A FIRE THAT CAN'T BE TAMED, YOU'RE BETTER THAN EVER, BUT I KNEW YOU WHEN IT'S BITTERSWEET TO SEE YOU AGAIN" -> GUYS IS THIS NOT EXACTLY EKKO'S FEELINGS ABOUT JINX COME ON GUYS

the entire "first time" is peak "can we pretend like it's the first time?" | "YOU CAN'T FEEL IT FOR THE FIRST TIME A SECOND TIME" , "and how will i know if history repeats itself? how will I know when it's gonna come back around? how will i know? has my face changed, baby? how will I know?" this ekko after breaking free from the perfect dimension guys ,,, guys..

cartwheel guys. cartwheel. "FIREFLY juice on your skin / you're glowing like an ATOM BOMB" it's them it's them it's so them | "this natural thing that you've undone / outgrew older sister's clothes again / won't admit you're growing tall and thin" ekko watching her turn from powder to jinx from afar,,, | "i thought back to many years ago: a late-night promise on the telephone, we'd build a house of twigs and vines, grow old together just to pass the time // now there's only past and present day, i can't believe a word you say" EKKO WATCHING HER TURN EVIL FROM AFAR GUYS !!! WHILE STILL KEEPING FEELINGS !!!

thumbs it's ekko thinking about what silco has done to her. "i would kill him if you let me, i would kill him quick and easy, your nails are digging into my knee, i don't know how you keep smiling" / "you've been in his fist ever since you were a kid, but you don't owe him shit even if he said you did"

please stay. please stay is literally canon because he literally had to stop her from killing herself a good 5 times. "change your name, change your mind, change your ways, give them time [...] call me if you need a friend or never talk to me again, but please stay" like pleaseeee

and triple dog dare,,, "you're dancing in the aisle 'cause the radio Is singing you a song you know and the kid at the counter is gawking at your grace / i can tell what he's thinking by the look on his face, it's not his fault, I'm sure i look the same / it's what you do, but it's not you i blame" EP 7 TIMEBOMB GUYS | "you know i'll be seeking if you run and hide, if the door were to open, would you walk through the frame? if you're too afraid, it won't be you i blame" that's ekko trying to save her at some point | "i want you to tell me that you miss me, want you to hold and hurt and kiss me [...] it's a triple dog dare, you're a chicken if you don't" -> no explanation needed. | "i can fish for our food and you know how to start a flame, if you don't get out now, you'll only have yourself to blame" this is what he sounded like when he tried to save her from silco (bc i know he tried guys) "You said 'you have me there, if it's a triple dog dare'" bc tell me she is not the kind of person to do anything if it's a challenge. | "they put our faces on the milk jugs, missing children 'til they gave up [...] can't find the feeling of relief, nothing worse could happen now" -> ekko literally putting her face on the missing/dead poster, ekko disappearing in s2, jinx fleeing (she did not die guys trust me),,,

[theblackbookofarkera]

Rainbow Feathered Gathshib

Deep within the sweltering forests of Khamphar dwells a being that defies mortal comprehension - the gathshib. Their existence is marked not by sightings, but by their otherworldly cries that pierce the humid air like fragments of a forgotten language. These calls seem to emanate from everywhere and nowhere at once, leaving even the most hardened hunters disoriented and filled with inexplicable dread.

The gathshib's most striking feature, if ancient accounts are to be believed, is their prismatic plumage that ripples with colors beyond our conventional spectrum. Each of their three serpentine heads is crowned with feathers that shift and dance like auroras, suggesting their true nature as cosmic wanderers rather than creatures of terrestrial origin. Some scholars theorize these colors exist in dimensions beyond mortal perception, explaining why those who glimpse them directly suffer such terrible fates.

Their journey to Arkera remains one of the world's great mysteries. Unlike the gods and demons that ventured here with purpose, the gathshib appear to be cosmic nomads who, upon crossing the vast stellar seas, found something in Khamphar's ancient forests that compelled them to remain. Perhaps they recognized something familiar in these primal woods, or maybe they guard secrets within the forest that even the oldest spirits dare not speak of.

The fate of those who actively seek the gathshib serves as a terrible warning to the curious. Those few who survive their encounters are forever changed - their eyes burned to ash in their sockets, their minds shattered, their tongues speaking languages that make scholars' ears bleed. Most disturbing are the patterns these unfortunate souls draw compulsively in the dirt - geometries that seem to shift and change when viewed from different angles, suggesting glimpses of realities that should remain hidden from mortal understanding.

Even the most skeptical naturalists cannot entirely dismiss the gathshib's existence. Too many respected hunters have abandoned their expeditions upon hearing those alien screams, and too many villages near Khamphar's depths maintain ancient wards specifically designed to keep these beings at bay. The local shamans speak of them only in whispers, claiming the gathshib exist simultaneously in our world and in realms beyond, their triple-headed nature allowing them to perceive and move through multiple planes of reality at once.

The rainbow serpents' apparent avoidance of humankind may be our greatest blessing. Whether this stems from indifference or mercy remains unknown, but those who study the old texts suggest a darker truth - that the gathshib's very presence in our reality is merely an echo of their true form, and that direct contact with their complete being would shatter not just the mind, but the very soul of any mortal foolish enough to seek them out.

[silverjetsystm]

Another loop in the spiral. Autumn yellow drying, crackling leaves, waxing crescent a swelling sickle in yellow stained darkness reflecting their symbol in Mission's bulletproof windows.

The head of the year.

Steven adores autumn. Half-open spare window carries in the sweet scent of decay on the night breeze, joining the leftover apple honey cake and espresso on Mr. Kni.ght's desk. Fingers pivot in Excel, a dance of digits allocating items. Here are the dollars from Marc's black three piece thievery, there are the new accounts filled from Steven's latest Wall Street windfall.

A shift in the air; whistling wind carrying dust, gauzy shabby linen. Clear manicured nails falter, worn lotioned palms flatten against mahogany. Silver coined eyes glaze, their face, left side of their face triple scarred, stiffens, ba pounding, ruach hissing.

All hands on deck are needed for this one.

Mr. Kni.ght's, Marc if one is tachlis about it, sits in the darkened Mission study, glowing white trouser leg crossed over knee, gleaming white leather Chelsea boot pointed at the intruder. Steven's computer is absent. No sign of late dessert.

"Identify yourself," he demands, lamplight silver eyes staring up into sockets, tone moonsilvered by the one he is a heretic priest to. The one he himself confined to Asgardian prison. The one who cannot resurrect him, if he can believed second hand. Second fist. "You are not him. Are you a shedim or a construct?" Or the part of them who wears his face, long cast down into their inner world.

By first glance, it is him. Bone dust, desert night, moon dust. The great and gleaming bird skull towering over the man, taller than the usual dimensions of the study, taller than the ancient statue of the first form they knew behind him. A different resonance. A different appearance. Did a rebellious son not know his father, a slave his master?

@templeofvengeance

[pinkestmenace]

Thoughts on Dark Meta Knight

A continuation of 'Thoughts on Shadow Kirby'. This is a long one!

TL;DR: I first talk about his relation to Taranza and Sectonia, then comes the fic I 'accidentally' wrote, then I talk about his (mirror) abilities and relation to Meta Knight (or rather, his inherited memories.)

Have you ever noticed how whenever people talk about the whole Dark Meta Knight/Dimension Mirror/Taranza/Corrupted Sectonia issue, it's always "Taranza must hate DMK so much!" and never "DMK must hate Taranza so much!" or even "Why did Joronia/Sectonia keep a magical mirror that clearly oozed bad vibes?" (Note: I'm neither saying Taranza is a poor uwu boy who did nothing wrong nor that he is evil incarnate. He didn't know DMK was in there nor that the mirror had lingering corruption. I am however saying he was a fool for stealing an important magical artifact! All three were hurt here.) I mean, come on. Sectonia is an individual with agency. You're telling me she just placidly accepted this whole situation and only gets to serve as an "Evil queen needs to die!" and "Woe is Taranza, his beloved is dead!" plot device? She could have been corrupted/replaced by her own reflection! Maybe she was as interested in studying DMK/this weird danger orb in 'her' mirror as he was in corrupting her.

That is, if he did corrupt her. Who's to say he wanted that? Or had the ability to, other than by speaking? We've heard nothing about him having corrupting magic. Besides, what would he gain from it? Sectonia could've already been somewhat unhinged before she got the mirror and this was just the beginning of a domino effect. Remember, the mirror you fight him in in Triple Deluxe seems to be the one that was in the middle of the Central Circle, not the entrance of the Mirror World. That's the one Dark Mind was hiding out in and judging by how destroyed it still looks inside it's also the most likely place for any corruption to linger. (Luckily for the other inhabitants, I'd say. Not so lucky for him or poor Shadow, who in DMK's absence was likely left alone to defend the Mirror World and therefore grew more agressive like we see him in other games. He had no allies and no choice but to learn to fight.) I think that Shadow spawned when Kirby first entered the mirror, but DMK was likely around at least a little longer than that, judging by how he seems to have a pretty good grasp on his abilities already.

So. Since Triple Deluxe is clearly inspired by fairy tales, (Consider the Dreamstalk/beanstalk, a palace in the sky and a wicked beauty-obsessed queen with a literal magic mirror!) why not spin a little tale of our own?

I want you to imagine being Dark Meta Knight for a moment.

Mirror, Mirror, From the Sky — Who's the Wickedest and Why?

Once upon a time a dark force secretly infested your world. Depending on how long you've been around, you either spawned as a flawed clone, or you got to feel yourself being corrupted. You may not even know who you are, other than what the wisps of your inherited memories and skills tell you. Either way, the heydays of good fortune, friends and fair weather are nothing but a burning memory to you.

Dark Mind, the force calls itself and it takes an interest in you, since it could use a strong henchman. Now you have this flaming eyeball breathing down your neck, playing at being your master and ordering you around. Tsch. Do you dance like a pathetic little puppet? Do you plead with it using the fancy words you find on your tongue, but did not learn yourself? Do you obey to save your own skin, or resist and risk having your mind broken and hollowed out further? Do you have it in you to become a double agent? You are a scared toddler who only just learned how to walk. You are a hardened knight who has no patience for this. The armour you wear shows traces of battles you haven't fought. You cling to it in preparation for what's to come.

It sends you to go remove some obstacles. A pink child and your own doppelganger. Fueled by bitter resentment and childish petulance you dare to bend your orders just slightly. Rather than rend the child into pieces, you refract him into four. Rather than sending your doppelganger back to his maker, you lock him in with yours and break the mirror to prevent his escape. (As well as Dark Mind's escape, that is.) Your master is angry. That's fine. You're already wrong and broken and don't give a crap.

Eventually the child and his refractions fix and enter the mirror and your master gives you an ultimatum. Twice it told you to get rid of the brat and twice you have failed! Now, to prove your loyalty you must put your life on the line. Beat the brat. At any cost. Surrender is not an option! You shed the veneer and take out your frustration on the child. But he's too strong. You can feel your body give out! You remember how to beg. "Master, please, I can't take any more!" It's no use. Its fiery gaze scorches you, it widens the cracks in your mind and forces you to continue, miserable marionette that you are.

You shatter and your consciousness fractures. Where did you go so wrong? Why did this have to happen to you? What will become of that strange charcoal child you saw stalking you? You want to go home. That home isn't yours. What does your counterpart think? Like the allegory of the prisoners and the shadows on the cave wall you don't know more than what little you can infer. His flickering gaze is unreadable. There is no cave. You are the shadow. You have no idea what philosophy is.

??? days later you somehow wake up. You get your bearings. You're still in this ruined miniature dimension, but your master is gone. You're alone. Tsch. Figures the brat and your blue bastard of a counterpart would abandon you. What's wrong with them?! (What's wrong with you? Are you really that disposable? Maybe they didn't know you still had life left in you either. Did they mourn for you?) At least the mirror portal is right there. You'll go back to the Central Circle, find something to eat and then you'll plot your revenge against the world that failed to welcome you! You just have to step out...

...into a large bedroom. You look around. Fancy furnishings that would befit a palace. A breathtaking view of the rising sun, which drapes the room in purples and oranges. It hurts your eyes. You look down. A vanity? Where the Shards—

You don't get time to think before a piercing shriek rends the air. You look to your left and see a strange spider-like creature charging at you, wielding twin rapiers! You quickly leap out of the way and draw your own sword.

The woman stops in front of you, clad in a simple but refined silk nightgown, her four unoccupied hands balled into tight fists. She stares you down with her four front eyes. Is this spider as afraid of you as you are of her? She's Princess Joronia, you soon learn. She received the mirror as a gift.

She sympathises with you and offers you a cup of herbal tea to calm your nerves. You've never had tea, (not-you remembers the taste) but by the Mirror's mercy do you know you're thirsty! You accept it, if only to buy yourself time to figure out what's going on and come up with a way to escape with the mirror. The tea soothes you, although it has a strange aftertaste and Joronia's smile is gentle, if a bit too practised. Her gleaming upper eyes gaze patiently into yours. She doesn't drink. You're tired, so tired.

The next day you wake up inside the mirror and try to leave again. Joronia didn't seem so bad. Maybe you can convince her to let you return the mirror! You find it's been magically sealed.

"Oh, don't worry," says 'Joronia' through the glass, her eyes and smile just a little darker and haughtier than they were yesterday, "it's only a safety precaution until we get to know each other better." But months later she still hasn't let you leave with the mirror. Instead, she's been staring into it more and more, fussing endlessly over her make-up and increasingly ostentatious outfits. She laments to you as if you are nothing but a pet she can vent to freely. "Uhuhuhu~! Didn't I look simply unacceptable before? I just couldn't stand my dull reflection. Tell me how gorgeous I am! Then I might even feel generous enough to feed you."

You grow bitter. How trapped you are! Behind you is the ruined hellscape where you were broken and humiliated. In front of you is an increasingly deranged self-obsessed woman who you're forced to ingratiate yourself to for scraps. Tsch! You are caged and seething! The day you find the person who subjected you to this your sword will taste blood! Soon your vibe arsenic joins the maddening sulfuric stench that abhorrent eyeball left behind. Your mind and the mirror grow ever darker in a vicious cycle. It's been years. You yearn for sights you have only seen in dreams. You cannot die.

The reborn and remade Queen Sectonia doesn't care. She's too busy solidifying her power and enhancing her own grotesque beauty to pay attention to the machinations of naughty little strays. Your sharpened tongue pleases her just enough to spare you and coax out news of the outside world. You are her obedient pet. The keeper of her innermost secrets. More loyal than her advisor. You hone yourself and your blade when she's not looking.

So when Sectonia dies and the seal goes with her, you are ready. You don't care who's on the other side. You. Only. Want. REVENGE.

* * * * *

Headcanon time!

I see DMK as leaning into using his mirror abilities, not so much because he wants to prove himself superior to Meta Knight, but because that's something only HE can do. Something he 'earned', not inherited. He wants to be the best at something without needing help.

When he spawned he already knew how to speak, move and wield his sword. Or rather, the second he attempted to do any of these things he 'remembered' how to do them.

Wouldn't it be funny and tragic if so much of his life consists of discovering skills he didn't know he had, that belong to someone who isn't quite him? What surprises will his memory give him today? Amnesiac roulette.

Imagine: he's just idly fidgeting with a sheet of paper and looks down to see he's accidentally folded a perfect little origami crane. He crushes the crane. Tsch. Another skill he didn't earn! (Later he secretly learns to fold something Meta Knight hasn't folded before, just so he can say he made the skill his own. He will deny this.)

He didn't know he had the ability to mend his cape. Yet when he found needle and thread his hands traced the movements with practised ease. He refuses to mend his cape and claims it fits his rough-and-tough aesthetic. (He collects scraps and quilts a cozy blanket for his hideout. He claims to have found it in the trash.)

He comes across a book in a language he has never seen before. He can read it! The contents make little sense to him. He tries writing, but discovers his handedness is opposite to Meta Knight's. Ink smudges his left glove as he adjusts. (It shouldn't matter. He's ambidextrous! Try as he might, he still cannot draw or write with his right hand.)

Infodump about memory function incoming! (TL;DR: there are several types of memories, some about life events, some about sensations or skills.) I hope I can explain this correctly using an example.

Imagine you're going for a stroll in the park. You don't have to think consciously about every movement you make because you already know how to walk. You decide where to go and your brain handles the details automatically. (Procedural memory. This is what let him immediately move and fight.)

You spot someone walking a dog. Your brain goes: "Dog!!!" You don't have to analyse every feature of the animal to know this because the holistic concept of "Dog" in your brain immediately lights up and couples it to the language part of you to remember the correct name. (Semantic memory. This let him recognise the world and understand speech.)

You consider petting it. Your hand experiences the ghost of fur underneath. It just stopped raining, so your nose anticipates the wet dog smell as well. (Sensory memory. He gets whiffs of sensations and tastes he hasn't experienced himself.)

You approach the dog. Suddenly you realise you've seen this dog before! It was last week and when you pet it wrong it snapped at you. You remembered a specific event. (Episodic memory. He didn't get this one and therefore doesn't remember Meta Knight's life. He has to puzzle out what his 'original' is like from the other remembered scraps he got.)

[cosmic-kinglet]

Okay...I'm trying to put pieces together here...and I'm really not liking some of those pieces.

So, cringe Lunar approaching cringe Moon. Cringe Moon makes a comment about how he might just "de-cringify" Lunar...He attacks Lunar with dance moves, causing some amount of harm (the coco powder). Says he needed to make sure Lunar wouldn't try to come back, and implies that he could see himself doing worse if Lunar did ever try again. REALLY not liking this moment, considering how main dimension Lunar was thinking about finding Moon and talking to him.

Then, cat Bloodmoon gets blasted, but not much seems to happen (but, he's apparently 'based' and not 'cringe' now.) Maybe this will mean something that Ruin does for Bloodmoon will make whatever Moon tries to do to him not fully work.

Now, the CLEAREST thing: Moon's plan WILL NOT WORK. And, even if he DOES get 'Solar' back, it'll be some messed up version of Solar (maybe not QUITE as messed up as the triple Solare, but still.)

Then, cringe Moon leaving for Hawaii. So, maybe, once the plan fails, Moon will figure he's just not good enough, or maybe that he can only do harm, and he'll decide to leave the dimension. He's already stated that he might do this if/once the plan succeeds, figuring his family would be happier without him. This possible parallel kind of just also adds the idea that Moon will probably reach this conclusion in his mind regardless of his success.

If there was ANYTHING here that planted the seed for an alternative definite solution, I didn't pick up on it. So, all we can tell for sure is that, if Moon is able to go through with his plan, it WILL fail.

[tending-the-hearth]

finally got around to typing up my thoughts on Stranger Sings because even though y'all are probably sick of me talking about the show and don't care i still want to talk about it <3

obligatory tags for my bestie @storyweaverofgondor

ok so starting off with the double/triple tracks! this took me a second to figure out, but i think i've got everyone:

Steve, Jonathan, and Brenner (he was my favorite part of the entire show kyle mangold my beloved)

Lucas, Erica, and Demogorgon

Hopper and Mr. Clark (and i THINK he also played Mrs. Wheeler which was... absolutely hilarious)

Joyce and Will (and also one of the Russians)

Nancy, Eleven, and Robin

act 1:

i mentioned it before but Will is a muppet

Hopper kept trying to sing his Emo Song about losing his daughter but kept getting cut off

Jonathan

Just Jonathan

He took a picture of me and I could not stop laughing because he was just being The Most

Barb!!!!!!!!!! I think she’s purposefully supposed to be the best singer lmao

Barb after Nancy leaves with Steve: Nancy’s kind of a bitch, right? Didn’t expect me to say that, did you?

Steve. His wig, his costume, his mannerisms, I love him dearly

Lucas was absolutely perfect

He’s so rational and wonderful ily

he interacted the most with the audience and was amazing

The demogorgon was absolutely hysterical for no reason

Joyce had a number called “Crazy” and the cast members came out dressed as Beetlejuice, Amy March, Heather Chandler, and Edward Scissorhands

Someone went to the restroom in the middle of the show after Joyce's song and Joyce said “did you see that? Am I losing my mind?”

The fourth wall breaks were so funny

Hopper broke character during his first scene bc he was laughing at Joyce

i haven't mentioned the wigs but the wigs are PERFECTION and are the most dramatic things

The demogorgon had a dance number to Thriller

I saw the demogorgon walking out and started laughing, and they waved at me

The finale of Act 1 is so good???????

act 2:

Like this show has no reason to be this good?????

SAILOR STEVE SAILOR STEVE

AND ROBIN MY WIFE

Steve and Dustin have the cutest song to open Act 2, and Max, Chrissy, and Mrs. Wheeler cameo in the song

Mike, Dustin, and Lucas call Steve dad at the end, 10/10

Barb dates the demogorgon good for her

Basically combines season 1 and season 2

Lucas’ actor plays Kali and is the funniest person

"Lucas’ actor also played Erica, iconic

"you can't spell America without Erica" 10/10 line delivery

Brenner was the funniest part of the show oh my god

I got waves from Steve and Hopper 🥰

Also I kept making eye contact with Steve and i have never known the true meaning of “giggling blushing twirling my hair” until he looked at me

if it isn't already obvious i'm in love with kyle mangold his steve is so babygirl

The Party (sans El) is running away from the Russians and they started playing “running up that hill”

STEVE SAID THE “ALWAYS THE GODDAM BABYSITTER LINE”

HE ALSO CALLED MIKE DUSTIN AND LUCAS HIS NUGGETS I'M GOING TO DIE

The final battle was a dance battle between El and the demogorgon

Listen it was played as a joke but Dustin talks about how his dad is an asshole in the first act before El's song about wanting a dad and then at the end of act 2 he sings about how he’s found a dad in Steve and I’m 🥺

And El sings about how she just wants a dad who will say he’s proud of her and that’s what Hopper says after the final fight 🥺

also just a few of my favorite lines:

Joyce: oh great, a teenager! Steve: hi! Joyce: can you watch these children while Hopper and I go into an alternate dimension and leave you all behind and hopefully come back safe?

Jonathan: i have to go Nancy: but you just got here! Jonathan: I’m an INFP and this conversation is stressing me out

[cochineal-leviat]

Masterpost: My writing & comics.

Kirby fics

A Royal Visit - Kirfluff with a focus on shenanigans and hijinks from the main Kirby cast. Still one of my favourite written works.

Blueberry Kisses - Kirfluff - a sequel to A Royal Visit. Kirby is a dumbass in this one. (Gijnka)

My Waking-Light - Kirfluff. Sweet fluff. (pun intended. Gijnka)

Waltz of the Oblivious - Metadede. Two pining idiots dancing around each other.

El hijo del Caballero - gen. Focused on Skirby and DMK's father-son relationship and the events before/during KATAM. (Gijnka)

Garden of Dismay Series

A sunrise that will never come - Sectaranza (one-sided). Angst and hurt/no comfort. (Gijnka)

Paradise Lost - Mostly gen. Post Triple Deluxe as Taranza adjusts to living in Dreamland. (Gijnka)

The Balm of Gilead - Metadede. A one-shot set in place during the events of Paradise Lost. (Gijnka)

RosenRot (Kirby Fae AU)

The Midnight Soirée - Kirfluff. Kirby stumbles upon a mansion that transports him into a different and bizarre world. Dark/horror romance.

Bad End Nights - Kirfluff. A compilation of bad endings for the Midnight Soirée. Dark/horror.

Bring mich nach Haus - gen. Kirby escapes Underhill and returns home. But the journey back is easier than confronting his friends. Sequel to the Midnight Soirée. Angst & Hurt/Comfort.

Art ref Kirby & Marquis Fluff

Art ref Kirby chapter 1 & 2

Art ref Marquis Fluff chapter 1 - 5

Comics

Feminine Charms

I Luv mah Pardner

Wrong Dimension

Prince of Felt and Cowardice

Friendship solves everything..., right?

"Boyfriend/friend? What's the difference?"

Zelda fics

The Decoy - gen (for now). Four Swords. An AU with Red Link as the Prince of Hyrule and Vio as his bastard older brother. Drama and Fantasy Politics.

Elemental Surprises - Blue/red, Vio/Shadow and platonic bonding between mulitple charachters. Four Swords. Shenanigans with the Links taking after their respective element during the main story events. Old and on hiatus. (Needs editing)

A Seed Blossoms - Prologue - gen. ALTTP. Really old. I only put it in here as an honourable mention. (Seriously needs rewriting)

A Seed Blossoms - gen. ALTTP. Same reasons as above. On indefinite hiatus. (Really needs rewriting)

Sonic Fics

Mathematical Loneliness - gen. Sonic Prime. An introspection into Nine's psyche from episodes 6 and 8. Angst.

My Heart has grown Grim - gen. Sonic Prime. Sonic has a bad time, and Nine is there to help him through it, supposedly. Dark & mystery.

Pokemon Fics

Gimmighoul for your thoughts? Other (gay pining) KieranxMC. (I'm not sure what the official shipping name is, but MC is the NB version of both Florian and Julianna). Kieran and Flore (MC) talk after the events of Indigo Disk and the Underdepths. (Happens before Mochi Mayhem)

[pocoreo]

[loonarii]

My Top 15 Kpop Songs of 2022

(15) 'Tank' - NMIXX

I have disliked many NMIXX songs this year, but 'Tank' was not one of them. It's gloriously weird, and is the perfect earworm. You will almost certainly hate it upon first listen, but within hours of hearing it, it will echo in your mind until it's all you think about.

(13) 'After LIKE' - IVE

I did this song SO DIRTY in my review. I thought its sampling and speed would be its downfall, but here we are, with it at number 14. This song can only be described as glorious - it's the midpoint between third generation and fourth generation, it’s the culmination of all of IVE’s work so far, it’s the epitome of kpop. And yet, it’s only at 14. That shows how good 2022 kpop has been.

(14) 'Blue Flame' - Le Sserafim

The first of many Le Sserafim entries on my list, ‘Blue Flame’ playfully shows off the group's undeniable potential. It’s lilting and mesmerising, low key and relaxed, and the girls’ vocals dance around the beat with pseudo–naivety.

(12) 'Still Life' - RM

RM’s ‘Indigo’ album is pure magic, but ‘Still Life’ has stuck with me more than any other track. The song’s defiant euphoria is delicious, and Namjoon’s ‘don’t give a fuck’ attitude works so well. This song laughs in your face, and then pulls you onto the dance floor. It’s a reminder to take life less seriously, a message that many of us, including myself, need to hear.

(11) 'Impurities' - Le Sserafim

‘Impurities’ is ‘Blue Flame’ at 1000%. The whimsy and delicacy are even more so, and the whole song is like falling into another dimension. It’s like an acid trip in the best way. Chaewon shines on this song, demonstrating a softer side to her we don’t usually get to see.

(10) 'Generation' - TripleS AAA

The immediacy of ‘Generation’ has consumed all my thoughts. I don’t care if the lyrics are meaningless, because this song is pure, addictive joy. It immediately brings a smile to the face - and it demands you dance. It’s a small pocket of teenage perfection.

(9) 'Cookie' - NewJeans

I know it’s problematic, I know it’s kind of odd, I know, but I can’t help loving this song. ‘Cookie’ is constructed perfectly, and keeps you unbelievably hooked, despite its minimalistic sound. NewJeans never miss.

(8) 'DM' - fromis_9

We forgot about ‘DM’ too quickly. While this song reinvents nothing and explores no new territory, it does pop to the highest degree. It’s a feast for your ears from the first to the last second. I literally have no critiques, it’s a flawless pop song.

(7) 'ANTIFRAGILE' - Le Sserafim

OH MY GOD. Everything about this song makes me ascend to another plane of existence. The languid vocals, the squeaky beat, the CHORUS, the dance, EVERYTHING. Chaewon is the beating heart of this song, but it's Kazuha that ties everything together into one of the greatest girl pop songs of the fourth generation. It shouldn’t work as well as it does, but I’m not complaining.

(6) 'Heart Burn' - Sunmi

This song has been on my mind since release. I don’t even truly know why I love it so much - sonically and vocally it isn’t insanely unique, but somehow the whole package forms a song that is utter perfection. Sunmi is an enchantress on this track.

(5) 'Glitch' - Kwon Eunbi

The 8-bit production, Eunbi’s soft vocals, the reinvented anti drop, the thrumming bass - this song is a recipe for perfection. Every risk it takes pays off to the point where they aren’t even risks anymore, just the perfect choice for the song. The UK garage sound works wonderfully with Eunbi, and I pray she returns to it. And fuck me the final chorus of the song is pure, divine magic.

(4) 'Anywhere But Home' - Seulgi

The entirety of Seulgi’s ‘28 Reasons’ album is artistically flawless, but ‘Anywhere But Home’ has something the other tracks don’t. It operates within the space between melancholic and exhilarated, between desperate and careless, and it works so well. Let’s not leave this masterpiece in this year, it has the longevity to keep it afloat for many years to come.

(3) 'Forever 1' - Girls' Generation

It is physically impossible to listen to this song and not dance. Its energy is indescribable - it’s a celebration of SNSD’s legacy, and even if you are a new fan of them like myself, it makes you feel like you were there in 2007 when ‘Into The New World’ changed the industry forever.  Girls’ Generation are beyond iconic, and this song solidified what we already knew - SNSD are the queens of kpop.

(2) 'Hype Boy' - NewJeans

One night, all the stars and planets aligned in a once in a lifetime event, and on that night, one of the greatest songs of all time was created. ‘Hype Boy’ is an instant classic. It’s timeless, it’s playful, it’s the most familiar song to ever exist, it’s A FUCKING LIFESTYLE. And yet, it’s at number two. What sort of god given instant smash hit could possibly beat out fucking ‘Hype Boy’? What kind of group could even do that? Who else, but NewJeans themselves.

(1) 'Attention' - NewJeans

I clearly remember the first time I heard this song -  it was like 5pm and I opened youtube, only to see a new music video on HYBE’s channel from a group I didn’t recognise. I clicked, and watched it, and instantly I fell in love. I listened to it on repeat, and then spent the rest of the evening desperately searching for the little information about this group that was available. I checked spotify every day for when this song would be uploaded, and when it blew up about a week later I couldn’t be happier. ‘Attention’ has it all. The production, the vocals, the originality, it’s all unbelievably good. Within a week NewJeans became my favourite fourth generation group, and every day they rival Twice to be my ults. NewJeans are my rookies of the year, and their debut album is literally my favourite kpop album of all time. Their first comeback is only around the corner, and I can’t even imagine the hits on that album. Congratulations NewJeans, you’ve stolen my heart along with the hearts of the entire kpop listening community. I can’t wait to see what you do in 2023.

[m-samiul-h]

Unveiling the Top 7 Smartphones on Amazon Prime Days Sale 2023: Incredible Offers Await!

Amazon Prime Days Sale 2023 is here, and it's time to seize the opportunity to snag amazing deals on the latest smartphones. Get ready for a rollercoaster ride of mind-

boggling features, jaw dropping discounts, and unparalleled performance. We present to you the top 7 smartphones that will redefine your mobile experience. Brace yourself for a perplexing and bursty journey into the world of cutting edge technology.

1. OnePlus: Unleash the Power

Experience performance like never before with the OnePlus smartphone. Brace yourself for an Octa-core MediaTek Dimensity 9000 processor that dances at 3.05 GHz, supported by a magnificent 8 GB RAM. The 6.74-inch Super Fluid AMOLED display with a 120 Hz refresh rate will leave you mesmerized. Let the world be your canvas with the 50 MP + 8 MP + 2 MP triple primary cameras and capture stunning selfies with the 16 MP front camera. The 5000 mAh battery and Super VOOC charging keep you powered up for hours on end. READ FULL SPECIFICATIONS.

SNATCH THIS BEAST FOR a DEAL PRICE of 33,999 or an EXCLUSIVE BANK DISCOUNT PRICE of 32,999. CLICK TO AMAZON.

2. iQOO Neo 7 Pro: Unleash the Beast

Get ready to unleash the beast within with the iQOO Neo 7 Pro. This powerhouse is equipped with an Octa-core Snapdragon 8 Plus Gen 1 processor, boasting clock speeds of 3.2 GHz, 2.75 GHz, and 2 GHz. Paired with a monstrous 18 GB RAM, you'll conquer any task with ease. Immerse yourself in the 6.78-inch AMOLED display with a mind-blowing 120 Hz refresh rate. Capture the world through the lens of the 50 MP + 8 MP + 2 MP triple primary cameras, and stun your friends with mesmerizing selfies taken with the 16 MP front camera. The 5000 mAh battery with Flash Charging keeps the adrenaline READ FULL SPECIFICATIONS

[skinbeautystore]

Green Eyeshadow Trends: 8 Gorgeous Looks to Elevate Your Makeup

In the world of makeup, the right eyeshadow can change not just your look but your mood. Among all the colors out there enchanting green eyeshadow stands out as a refreshing option that is nature itself and adds a twist to any makeup look. Whether you like soft, ethereal shades of forest glades or bold, jewel tones that demand attention green eyeshadow has a palette that’s endless. This post will show you various green eyeshadow looks – for any occasion – from daytime elegance to nighttime glamour. Let’s dive into the lush world of green eyeshadow and see the magic it can bring to your beauty routine.

Table of Contents

- Emerald Dreams: Working with Green Eyeshadow - From Subtle to Bold: Green Shades - Step by Step: Green Eyeshadow Looks - Accessories for Green Glam: How to tie it all together - Q&A

1. Emerald Dreams: Green Eyeshadow

Green eyeshadow has become a trend in the makeup world and beauty lovers are obsessed with the color. This color can change any look, a mix of sophistication and playfulness. Whether you go for deep emerald or soft sage the versatility of green shadows allows for many styles from understated to full on glam. Paired with the right techniques green eyeshadow can make your eyes pop with allure. To work with green eyeshadow, try these: - Choose the Right Shade: Try out different shades of green to see what suits your skin tone and eye color. - Blend with Neutrals: Green with neutrals can create a balanced look, so the green can pop without overwhelming the rest of your makeup. - Add Dimension: Use darker shades in the crease and lighter shades on the lid to add dimension to the eyes. - Try out Styles: From smoky eyes to pops on the lower lash line the possibilities are endless. Here are some of our favorite palettes to choose from: - Jane Iredale PurePressed Eye Shadows, 0.06 oz  - Jane Iredale Triple Eye Shadows, 0.1 oz  - GloMinerals gloEye Shadow, .8 oz - Mermaid  - Bare Escentuals BareMinerals Green Eyecolor 0.02 oz - Celery  - GloMinerals gloEye Shadow, .8 oz - Fern  - GloMinerals gloEye Shadow Trio, .16 oz - Palm  - Jane Iredale Mystikol, .02 oz  - RUDE Disco Dance Floor Pro FX Palette - Slow Jammin'  - RUDE Disco Dance Floor Pro FX Palette - Boogie Nights  

2. From Subtle to Bold: Green Shades

Green shades have a wide range that can change any environment, reflect different moods and styles. From the soft tones of mint and sage to the deep tones of forest and emerald these colors cater to different spaces and applications. Designers use lighter greens for spaces that are meant to be relaxing where soft colors can create a sense of calm and serenity. Darker greens can create a sense of stability and luxury so they are a popular choice for luxury interiors. Green is not just about aesthetics; it’s also symbolic of growth and renewal. When paired with different accents the effect can be striking and inviting. Try these combinations: - Soft green with pale yellows for a spring feel. - Deep olive green with gold accents for a classic look. - Bright teal with white for a modern feel. Ultimately how you use green shades can make a space dynamic yet harmonious. Whether you want understated elegance or bold statements the green spectrum has endless possibilities for self expression and design.

3. How to: Green Eyeshadow Looks

To create a green eyeshadow look start by prepping your lids. This can involve using a primer to create a smooth surface and longer wear time for your eyeshadow. Choosing the right shade of green is key; consider your eye color and skin tone. For a bolder look go for emerald or lime green, for a more subtle look olive or sage. Once you have your color chosen gather your tools: a fluffy blending brush, a smaller packing brush and a fine tipped brush for detailing. Start by applying a neutral transition shade to your crease with the blending brush, this will help the green blend into your skin tone. Next use the packing brush to layer your green eyeshadow onto your lids, focus on the center for maximum intensity. Blend the edges to avoid harsh lines and consider adding dimension with a darker green or a complementary shade on the outer corner. For extra pop use a fine tipped brush to apply a shimmery highlight to your brow bone and inner corner of your eyes. Finish the look with eyeliner and mascara to frame your eyes. You can watch this tutorial or check out other how-to's here:

4. Finishing Touches: Green Glam Accessories

Accessorizing is the key to pulling your green glam look together, so you can express yourself while looking cohesive. Start by choosing neutral accessories that complement your outfit without overpowering it. Beige, cream and soft brown can work with any shade of green. Using natural materials like wood, jute or leather adds an earthy touch and ties in with the sustainability and style theme. Don’t be afraid to add statement pieces that can be the focal point of your outfit. A bold necklace or oversized earrings in a contrasting color can make the look pop and add a surprise. When it comes to footwear consider ecofriendly options that fit with your green theme, whether it’s flats or heels made from recycled materials. Remember every accessory is an opportunity to boost your overall vibe so choose wisely and let your personality shine. Don't forget to grab a makeup bag for application!

Q&A

**Q&A: Green Eyeshadow Looks to Level Up Your Makeup Q: Why is green eyeshadow back in makeup trends? A: Green eyeshadow is having a comeback because it’s versatile and suits most skin tones and eye colors. With bold, adventurous beauty looks on social media green is a nice alternative to neutral shades and allows makeup lovers to get creative. Q: How can I easily add green eyeshadow to my daily makeup? A: Start with subtle accents! You could smudge a soft olive or mint green along your lower lash line for a pop of color without overwhelming your look. Or try a green eyeliner or an eyeshadow in the crease to add depth. Pairing these shades with neutral tones will help balance out the color. Q: What colors work well with green eyeshadow? A: Green looks great with earthy tones like brown and gold. You can also create a nice contrast with coral or peach which will warm up the look. For a more dramatic look try pairing green with deep purples or dark blues for a multi-dimensional effect. Q: How do I choose the right green eyeshadow for my eye color? A: For brown eyes rich emerald and forest green will create a nice contrast. Blue eyes pop with soft mint or teal, green eyes look great with deep jade or olive to enhance their natural beauty. Remember the goal is to make your eyes pop so don’t be afraid to experiment! Q: What are your top tips for applying green eyeshadow? A: Always start with a good primer to ensure longevity and color. Use a flat brush to pack color onto the lid and then blend out with a fluffy brush for a seamless finish. Layering different shades will add depth; try a darker green in the outer corners and blend a lighter one towards the inner corner for a gradient effect. Q: When is green eyeshadow suitable? A: Green eyeshadow is so versatile it’s suitable for any occasion! Lighter shades are perfect for daytime looks, deeper, more intense greens for evening events or parties. Seasonal celebrations like St. Patrick’s Day or spring festivals are also great opportunities to get creative with green. Q: Can you show me some green eyeshadow looks? ⁤ A: Of course! For a fresh daytime look try a wash of pastel green over the lid with a touch of highlighter in the inner corner. For more glamour try a smoky eye with dark green and an emerald shimmer blended on top. And for a fun twist try a graphic eyeliner with bold green liners or metallic shadows. Q: How do I make my green eyeshadow last all day? A: To make your green eyeshadow last start with a primer for eyes, then set your look with a translucent powder. A setting spray can also help lock in your makeup. If you’re using cream formulas try layering them with powder shadows to increase longevity and reduce creasing. Q: Final thoughts on green eyeshadow? A: Embracing green eyeshadow is all about confidence and creativity. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different looks—makeup is self-expression! Whether you like soft shades or bold statements, green can take your makeup to the next level and make you stand out in a crowd. As we close the curtain on our green eyeshadow looks, we invite you to get creative with this amazing color. Whether you go for a subtle emerald for everyday or a bold forest green for a night out there’s endless possibilities to enhance your beauty. Remember makeup is an art form and every application is an opportunity to express yourself and your personality. So, gather your colors, be fearless and let the magic of green take your makeup to new heights. May your eyes sparkle and your confidence soar with every swipe. Happy blending! Check out other blog posts for more beauty and skin advice! Read the full article

[sciencestyled]

Get Your Groove On: The Science Behind Why Beyoncé Is Basically a Physics Professor in Heels

Ladies, gentlemen, and the six people still clinging to their flip phones—welcome to the wildest mashup of science and art since someone decided to combine yoga with goat therapy. We're diving into the chaotic, kinetic wonderland of human movement, or as your gym teacher might’ve called it, “Why can’t you do a cartwheel without face-planting?” Buckle up, because we’re about to dissect the secrets behind dance that your TikTok FYP has been hiding from you—anatomy, physics, and enough biomechanics to make your brain do the Cha-Cha Slide.

First off, let’s get one thing straight: dance isn’t just a bunch of people flailing around to Top 40 hits like they’re trying to escape an invisible swarm of bees. No, it’s a sophisticated symphony of muscles, tendons, and bones all collaborating in a performance more coordinated than the Kardashians’ collective media strategy. Seriously, every time you see someone nail a pirouette, you’re witnessing a feat of engineering that would make Elon Musk spit out his soy latte.

Let’s start with the physiology of movement—also known as “How does my body not collapse into a heap when I try to moonwalk?” Imagine your muscles as the over-caffeinated minions in your body’s Gru-like mastermind plan. Each muscle is a little soldier, contracting and relaxing in a perfectly timed sequence that, if you squint hard enough, might even look like a scene from “The Avengers.” Your tendons, those stretchy little strings connecting muscle to bone, are basically the bungee cords that keep you from becoming a human Jenga tower. And bones? Well, they’re the steel framework of this whole operation, making sure you don’t just flop onto the floor like a forgotten pool noodle.

Now, if you think that’s impressive, wait until you hear about the nervous system. This is the control center, the iOS update that keeps all those muscles and tendons in check. Every time you attempt a leap or a shimmy, your brain is sending more electrical signals than a Tesla on a cross-country road trip. You might think you’re just flinging yourself into the air, but what you’re actually doing is executing a carefully choreographed electrical storm. Your brain doesn’t just say, “Jump!”—it orchestrates a full-blown flash mob of neurons, all firing off commands to every muscle in your body. The result? You achieve liftoff, and with any luck, you land without snapping an ankle.

But let’s not forget about balance and equilibrium, because gravity is the one dance partner that won’t ghost you after a bad date. Keeping your balance isn’t just about standing on one leg and praying; it’s about engaging in a full-blown negotiation with the laws of physics. Your inner ear is like that overly dramatic friend who always knows when something’s off—constantly monitoring your head’s position and sending updates faster than you can say, “Is this dress blue or gold?” Meanwhile, proprioception—your body’s ability to know where it is in space—is the unsung hero here, making sure you don’t spin yourself into the next dimension. Ever seen a dancer land a triple spin without turning into a human top? Thank the proprioception gods.

Speaking of spinning, let’s talk momentum—specifically, how dancers manipulate it like they’re starring in a low-budget Marvel movie. When you see someone pull off a flawless turn, it’s not just because they practiced for hours (though, let’s be real, they definitely did). It’s also about harnessing angular momentum, which is basically the “fetch” of physics—it’s never gonna happen until you figure it out. Imagine you’re twirling in place like a figure skater on Red Bull. Your arms, when extended, slow you down, because now you’re fighting against the very air you breathe. But pull those arms in tight, and suddenly you’re spinning faster than the latest conspiracy theory on Reddit. That’s angular momentum in action, folks, and it’s what keeps dancers from spinning off the stage and into the audience’s popcorn.

Let’s do a quick case study—pirouettes and fouettés in ballet. These are the ultimate showstoppers, the dance world’s equivalent of dropping the mic. A pirouette is basically a spin on steroids, where the dancer whips their body around while balancing on one leg. The secret? Conservation of angular momentum, baby. When a dancer pulls their arms and leg close to their body, they accelerate their spin faster than a roller coaster on launch day. Fouettés take it up a notch by adding a little kick-out move with each spin, which sounds like a recipe for disaster, but somehow it works. It’s like watching a high-speed blender on the verge of exploding, but instead of chaos, you get grace—grace that could decapitate you if you get too close, but grace nonetheless.

Now, here’s where we pull it all together like a YouTuber making a montage of their most cringe-worthy moments. Understanding the science behind dance doesn’t just make you sound smart at parties—it can actually improve your dance skills. When you learn science with art, you’re not just hitting the books, you’re leveling up like a character in “Fortnite.” You start to see every leap, spin, and pop-lock as a complex equation that, once solved, unlocks the next tier of awesomeness. And if that doesn’t make you want to bust out some moves, I don’t know what will.

So next time you see someone nail that perfect pirouette or leap into the air like they’re auditioning for Cirque du Soleil, don’t just clap—appreciate the sheer scientific brilliance that went into making it happen. These dancers aren’t just artists; they’re human physics experiments in action, defying gravity, manipulating momentum, and doing it all with a grace that seems almost supernatural. But remember, it’s not magic—it’s muscle, math, and maybe a little bit of Beyoncé-level confidence.

And on that note, let’s conclude this wacky rollercoaster of a lesson with a final thought: dance is where science meets swagger, where kinetics and creativity collide in a spectacle more dazzling than a fireworks show on the Fourth of July. So whether you’re moonwalking across your living room or attempting your best impression of an Olympic gymnast, remember—there’s a method to the madness, a science to the art, and maybe, just maybe, a bit of Beyoncé in all of us.