#too tired to care though

[discourse-by-candlelight]

We have some random 3 AM thoughts while very sick.

We have to wonder how many of the posts in recent "tulpacourse" are actually genuine or just trolling. If there's one thing we've learned in our time here on Tumblr and the internet as a whole it's that if there is a really messy not clear cut subject like the murky origins of the term tulpa, there will be people who purposely aggravate both sides for the lols.

We stepped out of the arena a while back as a pro tulpa blog, and it feels as though all the more constructive talk of that time has degraded into something incomprehensible. No more compromise, no more attempts at mutual understanding, just black and white thinking and a fair dose of actual racism, which keep in mind we say that as a pro tulpa terminology blog.

Even the worst offenders of a month ago have nothing on what we've seen in the last week. The only conclusion we can reach is that many of the anon posts being shared about lately are more than likely not actual tulpamancers or pro tulpas, and vice versa. IDK, we hope that it's just outside trolls.

To wrap this up since we really should sleep. We have plans on some more nuanced pro tulpa posts in the future designed to purposely open a dialog. It would explain our actual views and hopes of separating the modern tulpamancy community from the (pretty racist) origins in ADN and Theosophy, without necessarily having to discard a term that is deeply important to tulpas and tulpamancers.

We also think many people on both sides don't actually know much about the terms history, beyond "it's appropriation and a stolen practice" or alternatively "it's cultural sharing" when it's not truly either of those. We'll link to an academic article we quite like on the subject calling Tracking The Tulpa.

Especially it shows how the word was invented by ADN based on a mix of her time in Tibet and her past in Theosophy. Tulpa doesn't exist in Tibetan Buddhism, but two closely related words which are a small step from the term tulpa do. Tulpa was ADN's creation from her book Magic and Mystery in Tibet, a fairly Orientalist book of her time there. From there it spread in western occultism and was transformed over time into something much different. Nowadays there are two groups, tulpas in paranormal lore, which are closer to ADN's and are what we would consider a much more serious case of appropriation as they actively claim to be a Tibetan practice, and Tulpamancy.

Tulpamancy is for the vast majority entirely psychological, not connected to any spiritual or religious practice. Many don't see anything about it as being Buddhist, although the belief still exists in some of the community. Some might also be surprised to learn there were/are Tibetan Buddhists in the tulpamancy community, but they are a small minority and don't interact with the Plural community. We were surprised to discover just the other day for instance that one of the earliest members of the tulpa.info forums was a self identified Tibetan Buddhist, although they are not in the community any longer to our knowledge. It's pretty clear to see the level of disconnect though, and the modern tulpamancy community is probably at least fifteen years old now. The term has become to tulpamancers something deeply connected to their lives.

Just realized we are rambling way too long and should have probably just cut it at the link. Oh well, we're too sick to change it now. Hopefully people can understand where we were going with this though. We won't be touching tulpacourse after this post for quite a while (if ever) as we draft things and recover from our illness. We have a life to live too, with college in full swing now.

Till next time, be kind to one another

[lavenderskye29]

What would happened if the monkey babes and Y/n were drunk..?

[myokk]

Eloise is really, really bad at chess😐

(this is a scene from my fic & I typed it up here:)

"Milady, you cannot send him there! He will surely die a terrible death, and Murdoch is our finest knight!"

Eloise blinked her bleary eyes at the wizarding chess board, not really comprehending what the tiny pieces were yelling at her. The one that seemed to be doing the most talking was gesticulating wildly and jumping up and down, trying to get her attention. When she had taken the pieces out of the box Sebastian had lent her, they had immediately recognized her and started protesting, appealing to 'their benevolent lord's innate sense of goodness', but their protests fell on deaf ears. Eloise was positive that Sebastian took some sort of perverse pleasure at watching her lose at chess.

In the background, she could hear Ominis's laughter echoing through the Undercroft. His own pieces were quite happy at the moment, preening and occasionally sending rude gestures towards Eloise's, much to Sebastian's amusement. He was narrating their every action to Ominis, whose laughter was egging on his soldiers even more.

"Eloise," Sebastian said, propping his chin up by one hand (entirely too amused, infuriatingly so, why did he have to look so handsome when she was trying to be annoyed at him?), "maybe you should move the knight..." his other hand pointed to an empty space on the board, "...here."

This declaration caused an uproar. There were shouts of betrayal, tiny pieces gesticulating wildly to the carnage surrounding the board as they shouted in vain. She didn't see any other viable moves, so Eloise sighed and ordered the brave little Murdoch to where Sebastian had suggested. Chaos immediately ensued and Ominis's queen gleefully knocked his head off with a violent swing of her scepter. Eloise's pawns all doubled over, sobbing as their most valient knight fell, and her remaining bishop shook his tiny fist in outrage up at her.

After a few more minutes, much to Eloise's ashamed relief and the boys' disappointment, her pieces refused to move for either her or Sebastian. They solemnly collected the remains of their fallen comrades with as much dignity as they could muster and marched off the board and back into their box in a mourning parade of sorts.

Sebastian joined Ominis's pieces as they jeered the losing team off the board, causing Eloise to glare fiercely at him. "You were the one telling me what to do, and they're your pieces! Show some loyalty."

He shrunk away from the intensity of her gaze and held up his hands in protest. "I was suggesting the moves as a joke! After last week's fiasco, I didn't think you'd fall for it again."

Ominis was laughing so hard he was gasping for breath, and the two of them turned to watch him. Even through her irritation, Eloise couldn't help but smile at him - he was always so solemn and these bouts of mirth were few and far between. He managed to speak between bouts of laughter. "I...I couldn't...I couldn't believe it when you sent your bishops one by one into my trap! It was so obvious! And then...and then you..." Ominis dissolved into fits of laughter again and couldn't finish.

Eloise turned her angry glare to him. "We can't all be chess geniuses!"

"I've tried teaching you and you don't listen! For the next time, I'm only going to give you one piece of advice: don't listen to Sebastian." He chuckled once more to himself and then turned slightly to the board, addressing his men (and queen) and giving them a debriefing. He always did this after he won the matches; it was a strange sort of ritual that he seemed to look forward to.

[justalittlebluetiefling]

I am wondering a lot about what happens in the 'ideal' scenario. You know, where Predathos only eats the Primes and the Betrayers and then leaves. Matt made the point about how divine magic was around before then and would be around after, but the source would change. So. What fills that power vacuum? How is there any guarantee that it is going to be better than what they have now? There isn't and Ludnius kind of admitted that, but what drives someone to that point? To the point where they care about the action, completing that action, but they don't care about the result?

[condorclaw]

WHY has GRIAN 🧇 ⛏️, who in my opinion 💭 🤔 has not ❌ been relevant ✨ in the last few years ⚔️ 🗡️, beaten me 🗡️ 💀 💀 in being second ‼️ 2️⃣ place ⏰ on Tumblr's top ⚔️ 🗡️ 50 MCYTers 🎮 🕹️, yet I am CONSTANTLY 🙅‍♂️ ❌ ahead 🏅 of him in numbers of fans ⛏️ 🛒 these results are disproportionate 📊 to the amount of subscribers 🙆‍♂️ we both have 🎮 statistically 📝 🤔 🙄

[hubriswest]

stuff i did for re-tober

[roukabi]

A lil messy and quick but!! Here's my silly submission for @eurydice-week ! The theme was AU-based so it's Orpheus and Eurydice as a Mystery Dungeon Team - Team Songbird!

[ID in alt]

[screamingcrows]

I thought about it and decided @mrskreideprinz gets both, so here is prompt 28. "Please help me"

Il Dottore x reader below. Uhh comfort?

How long you'd been standing in the doorway was a mystery rivalling the ones lining the heavy wooden desk across the room. Or perhaps that was your own mind playing tricks again.

Today had simply been too much.

The room was dimly lit as usual, a far less sterile appearance than his treasured laboratories and workshops.

Scattered papers no doubt equivalent to an entire forest lay scattered across the unforgiving floor, deemed less important than the numerous others carefully arranged in folders lining countless shelves. The ones unoccupied by his personal collection of books and records of various forms least.

Dottore had remained hunched over his desk at an odd angle for the entirety of your impromptu visit. His desk had been arranged so he would face away from the door, he did not receive guests nor hold any meetings in his sanctuary.

Visitors were not taken to kindly, and certainly not when the door had been locked and his beaked mask discarded for the night, sharp visage peering towards any potential intruders.

Guilt weighed about as heavily upon your heart as the key did in your palm.

Outside, the aurora danced across the sky, countless stars shining through the coloured ribbons. His shadowy figure appeared almost surreal with the shifting outline.

It made you want to throw up. You knew this was unreasonable, there was nothing to do nor was your current state in any shape his fault. It simply happened from time to time.

The world too much and you too little for it was what your mind would whisper in the dark hours spent in solitude.

'Please help me' was what you wished you could say.

A sigh left him in time with the shrill protests of old wood as he straightened, 'if it creaks it holds', a silly proverb a few of the younger segments favoured whenever their mechanical creations would sound a second from death.

"At least come in and close the door."

The steady scratch of graphite never ceased, every move of his hand accompanied by a nervous twitch of yours.

Dottore hadn't asked you to leave, that was the important part. Except a part of you wished he had. The gnawing feeling eating away behind your ribs would have an explanation then.

As would the dull throb of your head and the shake of your hands and-

A singular word emphasised the deafening emptiness as his pen stopped moving, "Sit."

Head lowered in defeat; utterly uncertain what battle you'd even lost, you followed the simple instruction and stepped closer. In a familiar exchange, your body halted for further direction, eyes flickering to the stool tucked away in a corner.

Dottore pushed away from the desk, turning his body a fraction towards you in a silent call. Gladly, you obliged with relief dampening your lashes as you settled.

Nothing chased away the cold quite like his delicate warmth. If you couldn't feel the telltale heartbeat against your back, perhaps it'd been easy to mistake him for artificial with how he always seemed to run just a little warmer than expected.

But there were no wires beneath the hand that snaked around your wrist, wholly organic as crooked fingers sunk into your flesh, a single thumb peeking under the fabric.

Testing. Asking.

The touch didn't burn, nor did it tear at your skin, so you remained silent, letting out a shaky breath as more of his palm met with your skin.

Although you knew he commanded the will of many, the deliberate way he forced your attention to his touch only never ceased to stun you.

He could've said his hand was covered in analgesic salve and you'd have believed it, relishing the calm that slowly crept along your nerves.

Perhaps you'd dozed, fallen victim to the steady breathing, deep scent of coffee, and the safety of his arms, at least you couldn't quite recall when he'd pushed away the papers and reached for a book instead.

The weight of his chin upon your shoulder was grounding, a stark contrast to the erratic flutter brought on by his lips carefully pressing to your neck.

"It will be a while before I finish," his voice was coarse, from disuse or overuse was impossible to know without inquiring about his day.

Regardless, you'd make a pot of tea before he could rise tomorrow, white tea with sumeru rose buds and dried zaytun peaches being a favourite method of awakening he'd never admitted to.

But that was the beauty of it all, you realised, words were far from necessary.

Perhaps today was enough and tomorrow would be fine.

[fromtheseventhhell]

Common fandom complaint that you’re tired of hearing? It can be more than one

I'm tired of hearing about Sansa being the most unfairly hated character, especially when it comes with no acknowledgment of how horrible her stans act or the hate they give other female characters. It's just a demonstrably incorrect claim. Every other character is allowed to be disliked but we're all just expected to put Sansa on a pedestal cause she represents "true womanhood" or whatever the nonsense argument of the week is. Arya and Dany are two of the most casually hated and rewritten characters in the fandom and it barely gets talked about cause "feminism" in this fandom is only about female characters "pure" enough to deserve it. I just think it's gross to try and quantify how worthy a female character is of being defended from misogyny. At that point it's not even about defending Sansa from unfair hate, it's being upset that she isn't getting special treatment.

[kira-light0]

Fifth redraw: Frank and Margaret

Prev. Next.

(Reference under the cut)

[sovonight]

why is so much of sewing just tracing and cutting and tracing again q_q i see why people get projectors and use adobe illustrator now

[hallowsden]

@f4nd0m-fun here

So, I was on the ship Wiki, and I'm wondering what your Crane ships are?

I stumbled on Scriddler and TwoCrow, and I couldn't help but peek at TwoRiddle, so now I'm thinking about TwoScriddler, and oh no.

I barely know these chars and yet here I am.

Now combine this with John barely speaking with his fam and... you got Danny showing up on his doorstep one day, and Crane may have forgot to tell his buds about it, and you've got a small mess.

Personally, if I had to ship Harvey with someone, it's Gilda or Bruce (or both) (Unless it's Batman Forever version, then definitely TwoRiddle cause HAVE YOU SEEN THEM!?)

But honestly? This made me thinking... (Long ass rant ahead that may or may not make sense. This is written while being sleep deprived)

Jonny boy here ain't the only one who suffered abuse as a child. Both Harvey and Edward have as well. They both have Daddy Issues while Jonathan, depending on how you interpret him or which backstory you use, have granny issues + religious trauma or also Daddy Issues.

That being said, Harvey gives me the "this family ends with me" vibes, especially after he became Two-Face, and may be put off with Danny's presence for a while. He doesn't want to continue the cycle and become his dad. He'd likely would have liked, at the very least, to have been informed about the new addition to their family so he can... Prepare essentially/get used to the idea/plan how to avoid Danny. He's... For the lack of better words, cautious/careful around Danny, as to not accidentally trigger himself by accidentally hurting the kid. Does this make sense?

It'll take a while for Harvey to relax around Danny but for sure, he's gonna be very protective, if because he's Jonny's kid at first. He'll come to adore the kid and while not see him as a son but like... Oh, who's he and Harv kidding, that's his kid now and too hell with a coin, fuck with one of his then you'd get instant death penalty with him as the Executioner.

Harvey is gonna try and teach Danny law, specifically how to use loopholes against the system and evade arrests and such cause what else is gonna try to do to bond with Danny? Man's life had always revolved around law... Though... there are times where he'd go into this sort of story mode, recalling his experiences with Danny. He's soft and distant here but this is his way to fully open up, if that makes sense.

Harv, on the other hand? Teaching Danny how the criminal world works. Kid needs to learn how Gotham works. Can't have him die (er- turn fully ghosts? Yeah, he and Harvey don't understand Danny's halfa nature but they try and are supportive... They can't help but be reminded of themselves actually-) or Jonny's gonna be beyond pissed in a whole new level. Is actually rather strict, makes sure to put ground rules and boundaries with Danny compared to the rest of the parental unit that is Twoscriddler. Someone has to be the strict parent... How he and Harvey are considered the functional parent here is cause they actually practice self-care, well to an extent anyways, compared to his idiot lovers who would go days on end without eating, drinking, or sleeping, if the chance rises.

Harv, though rarely, would go into story mode as well to Danny, but in his perspective. There are many times he and Harvey hate each other but... They lived and went through the same life. Just differently. He mainly does this after something especially happened with Danny, like say, Danny nearly got shot...

Now, Edward on the other hand... Really depends on the version but in my opinion, he'd be indifferent with Danny at first, if a bit surprised. Jonny, with a kid? Now, isn't that interesting. Would definitely grow very fond of Danny very quickly, and if he learns that Danny's good with inventing and such, he is, for sure, gonna nurture those skills.

Eddie boy is gonna drag Danny to his workshop so they can bond over building shit. Also, VIDEO GAMES CAUSE YOU CAN NOT TELL ME OTHERWISE THAT EDDIE'S NOT A GAMER! Gets too competitive, too loud, just overall chaotic fun with Eddie also rambling about shit in the process. Just, the two are fucking gremlins and fueling each other's chaotic streak somehow cause while Eddie is an adult very full of himself, he acts too much like a child when he's relaxed and not trying to maintain his dignified image even though everyone has at least witness his childish streak at least once (this including his tantrums/meltdowns...)

The fun uncle/dad that managed to help Danny feel like a normal kid he wasn't able to be exactly due to living with mad scientists (who wanted to kill him later on even if they didn't know it was him). Eddie boy would also definitely help tutor Danny. Just that he may get impatient or teaches things too fast. Best that Jonny's there helping with tutoring so it's better paced and not going overboard.

But uh- yeah, it's gonna be a bit of mess when Harvey/Harv entered the shared apartment and see a random kid in there (who both resembles Jonny in some ways and also has the right coloration to be considered Wayne bait AND OH BOY-) huddled in blankets. Eddie would likely just walk past Danny, and after a few moments, walks backwards and stare at Danny, processing, before getting Jonny or Harvey, before trying to maybe interrogate? Depends if he slept or was hyperfocused on a project in his workshop.

[Also, @f4nd0m-fun, I swear, you've been fueling my need to create more Uncle Scarecrow content- DO YOU KNOW HOW HYPER AND EXCITED YOU MADE WHEN YOU @ ME!? Well, I think you're gonna see it when I do the reblogs... Just- XD, I'm having too much fun today/last night/lately (wtf is time anymore)]

[takeyourcyanide]

replacement really really scaring me I am going to go I am going to run I have no other option besides the ides she’s trapping me really really scared now really really panicky she’s rude she tells me to snap out of it and says I’m ridiculous and is very annoyed cause she thinks I’m not functional enough annoyed when asked if I’ve been eating or drinking annoyed and huffing and saying no more silent treatment but just can’t speak annoyed because apparently I’ve not been doing work but I forgot about it not important have to focus on fleeing from replacements panicking now why she do that I know why too many appointments too on Friday two and tells me treatment plan I’m scared she says oh we have to agree on something agree on nothing it’s trapping and I’m scared now panicking don’t feel very good she’s cruel already said she wasn’t her I say she’s a replacement I thought even if they think I’m not in my right mind why do they think telling me to snap out of it is helpful it isn’t and not gonna let myself be gaslit she got closed to me she gets mad when I jerk away and hide behind the door and pushes it open but scared says it’s not funny but m not smiling or laughing cause funny no no no I’m scared you’re agitating and scary panicky she said she make me get a job cause if I’m not doing work then I have to something cause being here isn’t healthy but I just forgot hard to focus too idk how to explain but never that I didn’t want to do anything just all replacements all suspicious all scary and outside is fake curated she only does that to hurt me wants me trafficked scary scary scary know I shouldn’t say on here but idk what else to do pure desperation atp cause people don’t wanna help they just say you’re crazy and need pills but I was just asking where to go when you’ve nowhere else really scared really scared felt lightheaded cause she made me scared

She classifies herself as hypermepathetix but doesn’t act like it cause she gets mad very easily and not understanding at all says rude things that make me feel violent but if I say something like that then I’m mean and treated like a serial killer but not her no no no I really don’t like her she says she says things just to see my reaction too to play armchair psychologist mean mean even though she sees agitation even though it makes me feel not good mean mean

[rosy-eyedsweetpea]

I want my caretaker to call me “sweetpea” or “fairy,” a little “princess.” Someone that is everything a flower is, just a little bunny or kitty.

I want to be treated as a six-year-old again, someone innocent, someone who hasn’t caused harm to others, someone too small to see the world around her. I want to be innocent and childish, without the responsibilities of being big.

I love my paci and my blankie, my multiple plushies (especially my centi plushie,) but I want someone there to take care of me little a bunny or a kitten. I want to sleep while a motherly figure (my Miss Caretaker) sings me “Se Essa Rua Fosse Minha.”

I have been regressing since I was nine/ten-years-old, and I just got to figure it out when I was fourteen. My age tends to change a lot: if I am in a good day, I am sure I am eleven-years-old, or that I am nine-years-old, if my day is bad enough, I am six/seven-years-old (which is often,) but I involuntarily regress to three-years-old when I am so terrified and feel threatened, when things around me start to fall apart and the noise within my head gets too loud.

I make a conscious effort to remember my age, because my mind will never accept I have “grown up.”

And then, I am innocent again. I am hugging my plushies with my pacifier, crying like a little kid. The little kid I am. But no one is holding me, I am like a little kid in a room where all the lights are turned off and no one is around to comfort her.

Whenever I felt sad, my “imaginary” friends were there for me, but when they weren’t there?

I just wish I could be loved and looked at like a child again, it all feels so sad!

[koko2unite]

so many expenses this month and most of it isnt even for me :(

[malt-rants-and-stuff]

me: damn i dont think i'll make kagihira week this year, guess i can just finish up the tashiro fic and-

my old kagihira whumptober wip that i forgot about: