#tonight was triggered when I found something her fuck buddy had stolen for her to give to me

[notesofhickory]

fuck okay so

[a-lonely-tatertot]

Kiss me like it isn’t allowed

Pairing: Keefitz

Word Count:  3111

Warnings: Underage drinking (briefly mentioned), cursing, and internalized homophobia 

A/N: There’s a happy ending I swear, Fitz is just a repressed gay and doesn’t like feelings, I also know nothing about laser tag so sue me. And thanks to @bookwyrminspiration

The night it all started was normal. Keefe sprawled on Fitz’s bed, staring at the ceiling lost somewhere in a world of thought. “I wonder what it’s like to kiss someone,” Keefe said to no one in particular. 

Fitz looked up startled, “Didn’t you kiss my sister once?”

“She turned her head!” He put his hands up in defense. “I meant like, kiss someone for real.”

“Come back to me when you have an answer,” Fitz sighed indifferently. He never really understood the gain there was to smashing mouths together and moving them around. He hadn’t realized Keefe had moved to sit criss cross in front of him until he pulled away his book. “Hello to you too,” he said. Keefe’s ears were pink against his pale hair.

“What if- if you wanted to- maybe we- I could- uh,” he swallowed, eyes darting everywhere. Fitz smiled a bit.

“Spit it out, buddy.”

“CanIkissyou?” Fitz’s brain short-circuited, and Keefe began to fidget, playing with his hands like he would die if he didn’t. Purely out of impulse and not thinking straight, Fitz surged forward his forehead smacking into Keefe’s. “Ow,” he groaned.

“That definitely could’ve gone better,” Keefe laughed weakly. Before he could grab the book again and hide behind the pages, soft hands ghosted his face. Oh, he thought, realizing what he agreed to.

“This still okay?” he asked softly. His hands fell gently on Fitz’s cheeks. They were light, barely there, waiting to be refused. 

A breathy, “Yes,” was all Keefe needed to press their lips softy together. 

There weren’t any fireworks as Fitz’s eyes fluttered closed and pushed back slightly. There wasn’t anything grandiose about it, it was sloppy and messy. There was only this: Fitz’s vague thought of Oh, as the air was stolen out of his lungs by Keefe’s soft irreversible touch.

Eventually Keefe pulled away, panting slightly. He chased him for a quick second, quickly realizing that his hands had left with his mouth. So it went, Fitz winding up the courage to put his hands in his hair, his eyes widening at the sudden touch but leaned into it. So it went, hands, mouths, hair.

When it’s over he watched Keefe leave. Frizzy hair, flushed cheeks, and swollen lips. Some part of him realized that he had done that. A dopey grin took over his face.

But his small paradise shattered the moment Keefe closed the door and someone else opened it. By harsh words and stern looks. His father said it wasn’t okay, that if he wanted to matter the kiss couldn’t matter. So the next day he doesn’t let it change things and he tried to miss the way Keefe stared after him. It doesn’t matter, because he mattered.

-

His heart was in his ears as he moved through the warehouse. A shout rang out to his left followed by a buzz signaling that someone was out on his team. He filed that somewhere in the back of his mind as he hid behind a wall. If he could just spot someone- There! Tam was running between two walls- 

“Hey, Princey,” whispered Keefe, right as he was about to pull the trigger. And just like that, his concentration was gone and so was Tam.

“Dammit,” he breathed, lowering the gun. Fitz tried to ignore Keefe, he was supposed to be helping his team. That couldn’t happen if he thought about the annoyingly persistent boy next to him. They did this often, the group finding themselves more often at the old warehouse converted to a laser tag company. It was known that Fitz was the best shot, his aim was unmatched by the others. Most of the time he found himself like this: behind a wall, or on top of something, trying to hit the people running in and out between the walls.

He watched the layout for a bit and tried to not think about Keefe’s heavy gaze on him (keyword: tried, he didn’t succeed). A flash of blue and his finger was on the trigger, firing. There was that familiar tension in his chest, waiting for the light to turn blue and the buzzer to go off-

And it didn’t. “Having some problems there?” Keefe teased. 

“Uh, yeah, you,” Fitz responded flatly. His eyes stayed on the field even though he knew it’d be useless. As he fell deeper into his thoughts he saw Keefe’s vest, blue. The beginning of an idea formed when Keefe gently wrapped a hand around his wrist. Don’t tense don’t tense-

Keefe let out a soft laugh, “Your pulse is racing.”

“Oh?” Fitz was barely even thinking about what left his mouth, his mind somewhere else. “Maybe it’s cause of how close you are.” He was close, Fitz could feel his breath brushing his cheek. “Maybe I want you closer.”

A small blush spread across his face, rising to the tips of his ears and racing down his neck. In one quick move, Fitz laced his fingers through Keefe’s and spun them around and pinned Keefe against the wall he was hiding behind. “Hey.” 

Keefe stared at him, wide-eyed. “This was not how I expected this to go,” he said finally. Fitz chuckled.

Keefe leaned in slightly and Fitz didn’t stop him, nor did he when Keefe kissed him. It was messy and slow like the first time and every bit as distracting. Some part of him knew that he should probably shoot him right then, it would be so easy and he wouldn’t see it coming-

There was the soft click of the trigger and the buzzer went off in the distance. Fitz didn’t notice, he was too focused on the feeling of Keefe pulling away. “You shouldn’t let yourself get distracted so easily Fitzy,” he said, a smirk pulling at his mouth. The tips of his ears were pink as ran off, there was a hit of sadness in his eyes when he looked back once more.

“What the fuck,” he whispered to the wall.

-

9. He ran, laughter barely held in. 8. He spun around the corner, wide empty hallway in front of him. 7. Don’t slow down, he thought, destination already in mind. 6. Quieter this time as he swung the closet door open. 5- “Well this is ironic,” said Keefe, his voice next to his ear. Fitz forgot how to breathe.

“Don’t pass out on my account Fitzy,” Keefe chuckled.

“What’re you doing here?”

“Hiding, though I think you’re a bit better at that than me.”

“Oh just shut it,” Fitz grumbled. “Can you scoot over?”

Before he could as again, Keefe’s hand covered his mouth and the other gripped his side. In a second, he had turned them and pressed Fitz into the back of the closet. A squeak escaped his mouth before he could stop it. 

“I didn’t think you’d be so noisy,” Keefe whispered, his voice a warm breath on Fitz’s lips. Without his permission, his eyes found Keefe’s mouth. Like he’d been waiting for it, Keefe leaned in a bit and he dimly realized he would have to be on his toes. 

“We shouldn’t,” he breathed, regretting the words as soon as it was out.

“Okay.” Keefe leaned back into the wall, eyebrows furrowed, eyes trained on the floor. Fitz found he couldn’t move his gaze; that he didn��t want to.

So he didn’t. His eyes traced the way his eyebrows furrowed, the smooth curve of his nose, the sharp lines of his clenched jaw. With a sudden burst of confidence, he placed a hand above Keefe’s head and leaned in.

“What, Princey?” Keefe said with a growl.

“Kiss me,” it was a challenge. A shot in the dark. A make or break. And even as Keefe’s eyes narrowed, he wasn’t gonna say no.

When he thought about it later, his father’s disapproving look burned it’s way into Fitz’s mind. He wanted to cry because why did it have to be wrong? Why did it feel right? 

In the end his father’s words won as the sick feeling found home in his stomach because of a single text.

11:30pm

Fitz: We cant do that again

1:05am

Keefe: Okay.

-

The stars filled the sky. “They’re like pimples,” Keefe laughed, his voice soft, words slurred.

“What?” Fitz asked, rolling on his side. It was mesmerizing watching Keefe look at the stars. He got this look in his eyes, sometimes he would tell Fitz what he was thinking. Others, he would pass meaningless jokes, and on the worst days, he would sit, and stare, and drink so much he passed out on the roof.

“The sky has acne,” he giggled a bit and threw back another swig. 

“I think they’re freckles, freckles are better than pimples,” Fitz sighed, alcohol seeping into his words. They came out here on bad nights. If their dads were rough all it took was a call. If school was hard, they’d ditch it all. Tonight, Fitz hadn’t even had to specify. On the second tone, Keefe picked up and responded, “I’ve been waiting for you to say that.”

“Keefe only hummed in vague recognition. He jumped down, hitting the ground with a soft thud and slide in the driver’s seat to turn up the music. When he climbed back up there was something else in his eyes. The beat thrummed through the car, matching the quick pace of Fitz’s heart. “If you’re gonna say something, say it,” he whispered into the tentative silence. 

“Can I kiss you?” There was a rushed ask, a careful impulsive decision in his voice, he didn’t know if it was the beer or just Keefe.

Stop. His heart, his breathing, the beat. “Pardon?” Start. 

“Like the other night, can I kiss you?” The other night. The words he had carelessly thrown out, the way he could feel Keefe’s shattered heart through his simple ‘Okay.’ The other night was not something he wanted to repeat. But he was drunk and he shouldn’t be thinking and all he could think of was Keefe. He already knew the answer before it left Fitz’s mouth. 

“Yeah.”

And there was that feeling again, the one he had told himself he would never feel again. The intensity, the openness, screw the stars this was so much better. There was an air of forbiddenness to it, Alden had said no to both these nights and the kisses, so was it really different? Out there, the woods, the car, the beat edging everything in them on, Keefe’s mouth moving on his, it wasn’t allowed; Fitz had never wanted anything more. 

-

He was warm, it was all warm. Hard and solid, but comfortable. He was laying on something that felt more like home than any pillow ever did. It was steady. Keefe, something told him. 

It doesn’t mean anything, he responded automatically, and he hated himself for it. It didn’t, it couldn’t. Yet some part of him wanted it to, some part that was quickly growing bigger. He shoved the thought away as another wave of drowsiness hit.

-

It wasn’t warm, it was very cold. “Took you long enough Princey,” Keefe said, “You know it was a pain in the ass hauling you in here. If you weren’t such a bitch when you wake up hungover, I might’ve made you do it yourself.”

He chuckled lightly and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. When memories of the night before came racing back, he shoved them out. He couldn’t, he wasn’t allowed, it was a mistake. It meant nothing, he repeated like a mantra. 

The drive back was normal. The radio playing steadily, talking about meaningless things. They didn’t bring up last night. But they should and Fitz knew it. Keefe was tense, his hands on the steering wheel were tighter than they need to be, his back was slumped, and tightness gripped his words. He wanted to ignore it. He wanted to be oblivious to the telltales. You’re the reason, a nasty voice said. You broken thing.

“Look,” Keefe said turning off the car. “We need to talk.”

“Do we?”

“I know you’re not big on feelings and all that-”

“We were drunk okay? We’re teenagers it’s normal, it doesn’t change anything.”

Keefe let out a helpless breath and stared at him with wide eyes. He wanted to take it all back, he wanted to fix the broken expression Keefe wore but he couldn’t, he couldn’t.

“It was no different from the others,” he said finally.

“You can’t kiss me like that and say it means nothing!” There were tears in his eyes, and Fitz was falling apart from the inside out, staring at him.

“It didn’t, Keefe.” He opened the door.

“Then don’t expect to mean anything to me.”

Somehow he still knew how to rip him up with a single sentence. It didn’t matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t forget Keefe’s words. He couldn’t forget Keefe.

-

It’s so cold. There’s ice under his skin, eating him up inside. As soon as he stepped inside it all came crashing down. Because he couldn’t forget Keefe. Keefe and the weight of his mouth. Keefe, his best friend since they were kids. Keefe and his thoughts, his idea,s his everything. He couldn’t forget his dopey smile when he agreed the first time only two weeks before. How he threaded his fingers through Fitz’s hair. His raspy voice, the way he only looks at peace with a pencil in his hands. How his confidence was a facade crafted by years of hurting. And there was that bubbling feeling that burned his throat as the rest of him froze with regret. So he screamed and yelled, his voice a release of the flames scorching him from the inside. He didn’t give a damn who heard him.

Time passed, but he paid no attention. He didn’t know how long he was there. Angry and bitter and pissed. He screamed until his throat went dry and his voice was a whisper. Until his eyes hurt from the tears and he didn’t have any left in him. And he was finally as empty as he should’ve been.

Clap. Clap. Clap.

 Biana stood in the doorway. “Wow, what happened here?”

“Screw off, Bi,” he muttered.

“It’s Keefe isn’t it?” At the mention of his name Fitz rolled over and groaned into his pillow. He knew the drill at this point. He was an open book to Biana and there was no point in hiding it. So he explained. From the beginning, every stupid kiss that made his stomach twist. When he finally finished, she let out a low whistle.

“You messed up big time buddy,” she said solemnly. 

“Thank you for stating the obvious.”

“You’re quite welcome. Do you know what I think? I think you’re in love with him.”

“What?” The worst part was, it made sense.

“You love him and you know it,” she said with a smirk. “You’re just burying all of it cause of Dad.”

Everything clicked into place, the puzzle that was Keefe Sencen finally made sense. He didn’t know how he hadn’t gotten it. Before he knew it he was in the car, starting on the hour drive to Elwin’s, Biana next to him, the siblings grinning like idiots.

Biana’s phone almost buzzed itself off the dash startling both of them.

“It’s the Team,” she smiled, “This’ll be fun.”

“Why the hell is your after school club calling?” Fitz asked, incredulous. She didn’t respond, only answered the phone on speaker.

“We owe Dex twenty dollars,” Sophie said solemnly.

“I thought Wylie was closer,” Biana responded.

“No, I was last week,” said Wylie dejectedly.

“You had too much faith in the idiots,” he could hear Dex’s smirk through the phone.

“What’re you all talking about?” he asked finally speaking up.

“We bet on you dumbass,” Biana said not a hint of sympathy in her voice. “Turn here.”

“Where are you guys going?” Stina’s voice betraying how interested she was. 

“To Elwin’s so Fitzy here can dramatically confess his love, I’ll give y’all the details after,” Biana said hanging up. As he stared at the blue door of Elwin’s it all came crashing down on him.

“Dad’s not gonna like this,” he whispered, finding it harder to breathe. 

“Hey,” Biana said, forcefully grabbing his shoulders. There was that stubborn determination in her eyes that he had seen so many times before. “You get the boy, let me handle dad.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” he swallowed hard.

“Now go get ‘em, tiger.”

Well, that was the plan. As he walked up to the door he wondered if he should have flowers or an apology or where to even start. Turns out he didn’t have to worry about it. Because Keefe wasn’t home.

“Do you know where he is?” he asked, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice.

“It’s a clear night, where do you think?” Elwin said with a small smile. “He’s been out all day.”

“Shit,” he cursed. Of course, he was so stupid!

“Hey, language,” Elwin laughed.

“Thanks, sir,” he spun on his heel and ran back to the car. 

Biana didn’t say anything as he hightailed it out of the driveway, driving way too fast for a neighborhood. 

The woods weren’t far, he was lucky it wasn’t another hour. Yet when he found himself confronted by trees, he wanted more time. “What do I say?” he asked.

“Whatever your heart does.”

“My hearts going in every direction, it’s not used to being needed.”

“There’s a direction,” she said with a small laugh, “take it.”

So he did. The winding path was practically burned into his memory. The sun had set, he didn’t remember when. The stars were appearing as he found Keefe on the roof of his car, that same look in his eyes.

“What’re you thinking?” he asked, voice so quiet he didn’t know if Keefe had heard.

“I’m thinking,” Keefe said, eyes still trained on the sky. “There's a boy. And I think he's lying to himself. I think he's scared of his dad and doesn't understand his feelings. A boy who gets so angry and hates himself for it. I think he's angry for being different. I think he regrets it but doesn't know how to say it,” Keefe jumped down and locked eyes with him. “There's a boy, and I know him. And I think he knows me. And i really don't wanna be wrong.”

“I think you’re right.”

“Prove it.”

“Kiss me,” Fitz said. One more challenge.

“No,” He shook his head. “You’ve brushed that off enough times.”

“Then how?” 

“You kiss me.”

And Fitz couldn’t say no to Keefe. 

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Chapter Twenty-Three

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII

Cowritten by @lux-scriptum

A/N: trigger warning for smut, and for Excessive Levant Crying

In the few weeks that passed, they settled into a sort of rhythm. Having a schedule seemed to calm Cameron down, and Lev had to admit it made him feel better too. He knew what to expect, to an extent, though Nik and Eden found ways to insert variety into their lives along the way.

Lev shifted, adjusting his pants grumpily. He’d been perfectly happy to use Eden’s naptime to fall into bed with Cameron and Nik, but when Nik cheerfully shoved a plug in his ass after they’d both fucked him, Lev knew exactly which one he’d used. Nik hadn’t turned it on yet, but Lev knew it was only a matter of time before he did.

Lev paused outside Eden’s door. He could hear her babbling inside, so she was definitely awake, but Lev was surprised to see that there was only one sentry at the door. He thought about asking, but Eden’s volume was increasing every second he hesitated, clearly unhappy about being left to her own devices. When he looked inside, she was already sitting up, a dewinged bat stuffed animal in her clutches.

She screeched at him, waving the two halves of the toy at him.

“We really should stop giving you stuffed animals,” Lev muttered. He scooped her up, humming softly. He checked her diaper, and made quick work of changing her before replacing the tattered stuffed animal with a rattle. He got smacked on the head with it for his troubles. “Why are you so mean to your Da, hmm?” He asked, sliding out of the room. “What have I done to deserve this?”

That was apparently funny, because she giggled and tried to bite his shoulder.

“You’ve been around Cameron too long. No biting of the people. Especially your Da,” Lev scolded, heading for the kitchen. Most likely where the other two would be, anyway.

He didn’t quite make it. Amara appeared out of nowhere, spinning him around. He tucked Eden close and pulled away, huffing at her.

“What are you doing here? And be careful. She’s still little,” Lev scolded, checking Eden over. He got his finger bit for his troubles, before Amara caught Edens attention. Eden reached for her, and babbled angrily when Lev hushed her.

“I’m here to kidnap you,” Amara told him solemnly, before poking Eden’s nose. “Damn. He even makes cute kids. Think he’d spare me some DNA to knock Cin up with?”

“Amara,” Lev said, exasperated.

“Yes?” She asked innocently.

Lev sighed, and edged around her. He flicked a wall of shadows up in Amara’s face when she tried to follow. Her annoyed squawk was worth the payback he was sure would follow. She was still on his heels by the time he ducked in the kitchen.

“Amara’s kidnapping me for the day,” he said tiredly in lieu of hello.

“Damn right I am. You abandoned me for a pair of cocks and I’m insulted. Impressed, but insulted.”

“You should be,” Cameron said without hesitation, starting across the room. “You’re not taking him.”

Lev was quick to push Eden in his arms, both to stop Cameron from strangling his cousin, and because Amara had hooked a finger in Lev’s belt loop determinedly. “Yes, I am,” she said sweetly. “Promise to return him with minimal damage, but he needs a day away from this insanity.” She settled her chin on Lev’s shoulder.

“Yes, because your insanity is that much better,” Cameron replied dryly.

“Hey,” Lev tried. “I don’t mind, really.”

“Yeah, and you didn’t mind almost dying, either,” Cameron retorted.

“What, and you’re not kidnapping me too?” Nik demanded from the counter.

“Nah,” Amara said dismissively. “Not today, Saint Nikolas.”

That didn’t seem to amuse Nik, who muttered, “See if I ever feed you again.”

“Fuck you,” Amara said cheerfully. “You let my sister sleep under the same roof as him.”

“Would you rather she sleep in the street in the middle of winter?” Nik retorted.

“She has other family, you know,” Amara said. She pulled away from Lev, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck. “Come on, buddy, we’ve got things to do. Motorcycles to terrify you with. Takeout to make you order.”

Both Nik and Cameron looked disgusted with her food choices. Lev waved at them. “I’ll be back tonight,” he called as she yanked him out the door. “If I’m not please come get me.”

He barely heard Cameron’s response of, “Give her food poisoning,” before Amara marched him past some very grumpy looking sentries and out to her bike. The poor thing was old and more worse for the wear, but according to Amara it ran. She stuffed Lev in a leather jacket to keep him warm, and handed over a helmet. He almost told her off for not wearing one herself, but it’d never worked in the past, so he just sighed and pulled his on.

“Drive slow?” he asked.

Amara just laughed at him.

----

For the next five minutes, Nik watched Cameron feed Eden before he ended up saying, “So…. she just walked in here. How do you feel about that?”

“That she’s lucky she’s Lev’s cousin because I would have broken her legs otherwise,” Cameron replied, feeding a spoonful of meat to the happy babbling demon baby wiggling in her high chair. “Won’t be able to walk in if her legs cease to function.”

“You know she does it just to get a rise out of you,” Nik said.

“You make it sound like I care.”

“I mean,” Nik said, taking a drink of his black coffee, “you clearly do. Since Lev had to put the baby in your arms before you went through her. She must have gotten under that icy white skin of yours.”

Cameron flicked his cool pale blue eyes at him. “No. She just needs to learn where she can and cannot open that fat mouth of hers. And she cannot open it in my house where I will feed her to my guards.”

Nik made a face. “I do not imagine Lev would be too fond of cannibalism against his cousin,” Nik mused. “Me neither. I am rather fond of my fuck buddies.”

Cameron’s mouth twitch clearly was a figment of Nik’s imagination. “And I do believe that function is now obsolete.”

“Be as that may,” Nik said. “I am still attached.”

“Why.” But before Nik could answer that rude question, Cameron said, “Never mind. She’s just as bad as you are. Two peas in an annoying pod. My mistake.”

Nik clicked his tongue. “You charmer. Are you like this with all your boyfriends. Oh wait, I forgot, you refuse to acknowledge this not relationship. My mistake.”

Before Cameron could respond with one of his irritatingly famous quips, Eden smacked her hands down on the tray, screeching at both of them for daring to take her attention. Cameron flicked her nose. “Stop it, I’m feeding you, aren’t I?”

She babbled angrily at him around the spoonful of food Cameron shoved in her mouth. Cameron pointed at her, eyes narrowed into a glare. “I am literally right here. Stop screaming and use your damn indoor voice.”

“She’s a baby.”

“So are you and I managed to train you to not yell in my house.”

“You’re so cute. Using pet names,” Nik said, batting his eyes at him. “What else do you got for me? A darling? A sweetheart? A my love?”

“A broken neck?” Cameron offered.

Nik pouted and went to top off his coffee. “I thought babies made the heart grow fonder.”

“That’s absence,” Cameron corrected. “Open a book once in a while.”

“I read.”

“Pornography does not count.”

Nik tried kissing Eden’s cheek, but got smacked by her. He bit down on her shoulder lightly before resting his chin on Cameron's shoulder. “You both are so mean to me. I can’t believe it, I thought I was her favorite.”

He knew Cameron rolled his eyes. “Her favorite is literally anyone that gives her attention at any given moment,” he said. “A complete stranger could give her point five seconds of attention and she’d have a new parent.”

“Here I thought I brought a special something to our relationship.”

“You didn’t, don’t worry.”

Nik bit down on Cameron’s shoulder. Hard enough to break the skin. “Asshole.”

Eden was laughing at them both between bites of her food. Cameron’s only response was, “If you’re going to bite, make sure I can actually feel it.”

“See, if I did that then you’d be naked right now.”

“So confident,” Cameron said, getting another bite in before Eden refused any more. He went to pick her up and Nik followed them back to the nursery. “I’m sure you’d like to believe that.”

Before Nik could respond, he felt his pocket buzz. Nik cut Cameron a withering glare before pulling his phone out to see a text from Lev.

Lev: How’s Eden?

Nik wrinkled his nose and watched Eden wrestle and kick at Cam while getting cleaned up.

Nik: Trying to put her foot thru Cam’s stomach

Lev: Bitty girl not happy she has to get clean?

Eden screeched angrily while Cameron wiped down her face with a baby wipe. Cameron blissfully ignored her temperament and went about continuing to clean her up.

Nik: Something like that. At this rate she’s going to end up eating the baby wipes. I’m sure it’ll be fine

Lev: Try making faces at her. She thinks she’s being ignored

Nik relayed the message and Cameron rolled his eyes. “Or she’s just being a brat because there’s a baby wipe on her face and she’s being forced to get cleaned up.”

“Well,” Nik said, “I’m sure you are capable of telling Lev that.”

“So are you,” Cameron said, sitting Eden up. “You’re the one with the phone.”

Eden shoved her fist in her mouth while babbling and kicking her feet. Nik frowned when he looked back down at his phone. Amara apparently had stolen Lev’s phone.

Lev: Stop distracting Lev.

Nik: Im sorry but LEV distracted ME fiRST

Lev: 🖕

Nik: Very mature, Mar. Nik: Also Cam said he was going to feed you to his guards if you keep walking in the house like that

Lev: mmmm sexy Lev: Stop distracting me. Shutting off the phone now

Nik shoved his phone in his pocket and moved out of the way while Cameorn went to the dresser to get another black long sleeved onesie after stripping Eden down. “Amara’s holding Lev hostage. I think he wants help.”

“He’ll be fine, I’m sure,” Cameorn said, dismissively. “He’s the one that went with her. And as often as Amara claims, she can protect him if something happens.”

“I mean help from her.”

“Well that is a pickle,” Cameron said, scooping a newly clothed Eden up. “Oh well. Come on, you little monster. I think it’s playtime with some toys that don’t make any noise.”

Eden was looking at Nik over Cameron’s shoulder while they started for the living room, and clawing at Cameron’s skin contentedly. Nik hummed. “Her eyes are turning green.”

“I saw,” Cameron said. There was a faint tone in Cameron’s voice that Nik wasn’t quite able to place. “My mother has the same ones. So do my brothers. It would make sense she would too.”

“Would you rather she didn’t?”

“I don’t care either way.”

Nik knew better than to not press any further. “What toys we playing with,” he said, starting for the closet with all the toys. “I bet she wants to play with the piano.”

“I bet she doesn’t.”

----------

Lev locked the door behind himself and huffed. Amara was ten times worse than he remembered. Or maybe Lev was less in the mood to deal with her shenanigans. He settled on the bathroom counter and pulled out his phone. In less than a minute he called Nik, hoping that would calm him down before he did something like pick a fight with Amara he knew he couldn’t win.

It had been hours now, and he wanted to hear Nik’s voice.

“Hello, Levant. How are you?”

Oh. Oh he sounded too cheerful for Lev to trust that.

Lev swallowed his pride and said, “I made a mistake.”

“Oh?” Nik asked, amused. “And what’s that?”

“I should have just let Cameron snap her neck,” Lev moaned. “Come get me? Please?”

Nik’s voice got distant, as if he had pulled away from the phone, but Lev clearly heard him say, “Hey, Cam, Lev said you can snap Amara’s neck.”

“Nik,” Lev blurted. “I wasn’t serious.”

Again Nik’s voice was further away as he said, “Wait, no. He changed his mind,” before saying to Lev, “You can’t just tease him like that, Lev.”

“Nik, please,” Lev tried. “I wanna come home.”

“Okay, but you chose to abandon us for Amara. You could have just stayed with us and the baby but you decided to leave on your own accord.”

Lev felt his bottom lip tremble, even if it was a stupid reason to cry. “I was trying to keep the peace. Cameron looked like he was going to hurt her, and I- It was the quickest way to get her out of the house. I didn’t think she’d be this bad.” He sniffed hard. “Nik, please? I don’t wanna be here.”

Nik was quiet for a moment, before he said “Sure. I’ll be right there.”

“Thank you,” Lev said softly.

“No problem. But I suggest staying in there until I come or else Amara will never let you leave.”

Lev made a noncommittal sound, and just said, “Love you,” before he hung up.

After a few moments there was a knock on the door. Lev sighed and slid off the counter. When he opened the door, Amara leaned against the doorframe. “That bad, huh?”

Lev burst into tears, but she just pulled Lev into a hug and led him to the couch. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there sniffling, but he woke up to Nik leaning over to smother his face in kisses. Amara was gone, thank the stars, so Lev gave a grumble and tried to pull Nik down on top of him. Nik let him, settling on top of him so he could kiss Lev properly. After looping his arms around Nik’s neck, Lev sighed softly, kissing back sleepily.

Lev noticed Amara’s approach just seconds before she smacked the back of Nik’s head with a rolled up magazine. “Not on my couch, you bastard,” she complained.

Nik looked up at her, sticking his tongue out. “You’re just jealous.”

“Of you fucking my cousin? No. Just grossed out. I don’t wanna see that. Go home and fuck him if you want to so bad. Not like he wants to stay here anyway,” she retorted.

“I’m- I didn’t mean to offend you,” Lev started in a small voice, only to squeak as Nik shoved his hand down Lev’s pants.

“Dunno, Mar, he seems fine to me.”

Lev dug his nails in Nik’s wrist, giving a small, mortified, “Nikolas.”

That at least distracted Nik, who bit down on Lev’s throat. “Mm?”

Lev bit back whatever sound was trying to escape him and said, tightly, “I wanna go home. I’ll blow you or something, but not on my cousin’s couch while she watches.” Even Lev’s newfound exhibition kink had its limits.

“Yea, yea. Sure. Let’s go.” Nik smacked a kiss on Lev’s cheek before pulling away and standing. Lev stood more slowly, adjusting his clothes. He slid a hand in Nik’s before looking at Amara.

“Thanks for not killing me,” he said, lightly.

“Meh, maybe next time,” she teased back. “Get out of here and go get some dick, before you stink up my apartment more.”

Nik resisted Lev’s attempts to push him out the door long enough to shoot back, “Speak for yourself. You have sex just as much as me.”

Lev sighed in relief when he got Nik outside. He quickly burrowed into Nik’s side, and said, “Cam’s not annoyed with me, is he?”

“Nah. He has the baby to be annoyed by,” Nik said, leading the way to a sleek black bike. Lev pulled to a stop, eyeing it with distaste.

“You rode a motorcycle here?” He asked, more defeated than anything else.

“No. I walked here.”

Lev caught the helmet Nik tossed at him just barely, and sighed. “Of course you rode a motorcycle.”

“Only the best for you, babe,” Nik promised.

Lev huffed. “Somehow this feels like a punishment,” Lev muttered as he pulled the helmet on.

“Now why would I do something like that?” Nik asked.

Lev shook his head, and just motioned at the bike. Might as well get it over with. He climbed on behind Nik, wrapping his arms tightly around him. If Lev didn’t know better, Nik smiled at him over his shoulder.

“Hold on tight,” Nik said.

Lev shoved his face against Nik’s back, and didn’t open his eyes for the rest of the ride.

----

Nate had shown up right as soon as Nik had walked out the door. Right before he disappeared, Nik had told him that he was off to rescue Lev from Amara. If Nate hadn’t known better, he’d have thought Lev had purposefully tried wiggling his way out of training with him. But he did know better, which is why Nate now found himself sitting on Cameron’s living room floor with a six month old wiggling demon baby chewing on a pair of toy keys.

He still couldn’t believe that this little girl was created from the same DNA as Cameron of all people, but she was right here, the spitting image of him, despite the wide smile on her face and her hazel-green eyes. Nate poked her nose. “You are the cutest little shit,” he said, fondly. “I bet you make Cameron’s life hell.”

Eden babbled happily at him, waving around the keys, clearly in agreement with Nate’s assessment. Nate found himself smiling and poking her belly. “Goooood.”

“You can play with the baby without talking,” Cameron said, from the chair. “Or are you unable to be quiet like your brother.”

“I am physically incapable of doing what you want,” Nate replied, rolling onto his back to put Eden on his belly. “If that means talking nonstop, so be it.”

“What does my brother see in you?” Cameron mused. “Clearly it’s on a physical level because I cannot see otherwise.”

“That’s because you have the emotional intelligence of a rodent,” Nate said, wiggling Eden’s toes. “Isn’t that right, baby?” Eden squealed and smacked his stomach, nearly falling on her face, had Nate not been holding her in place. “Mmm. See?”

“Yes,” Cameron said, “I’m going to take the word of an infant. Great idea.”

Nate decidedly ignored whatever it was Cameron said next, and kept playing with Eden until Nik and Lev decided to grace them with their presence. Nate tilted his head back and looked at Lev who opened his mouth before instantly snapping it shut, eyes bright with apology. “Nate. You- I forgot- I am so-”

Nate said, “Nik, take the baby.” His brother was already moving before he had the whole sentence out. When he was to his feet, Nate smoothed down his shirt. “It’s okay,” he tried. “We all forget things, and honestly, who wouldn’t want to forget training?”

“Bay,” Cameron said, instantly.

Nate rolled his eyes at him. “No one asked you.”

“Well, you clearly asked someone.”

Nate ignored him and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Are you going to be able to train today?”

“Do I have a choice?” Lev winced, adding a small, “I’ll be fine.”

Nate gnawed at his lip ring. He wasn’t sure how to suggest they not do it, if only because he also wasn’t the biggest fan of training. He wasn’t exactly the best warrior, and he had no intention of being one, but he was of the right temperament to be able to help Lev, and he supposed that was why his mate had suggested it be him to do it. He was likely the one to go the easiest on him. “If… it makes you feel better, it’s not exactly my favorite hobby either. We could… skip for the day, if you want?” Lev did look like shit, but Nate wasn’t going to say that.

Lev shook his head. “No,” he said, “Bay’ll be mad at me if we don’t.”

“Bay’ll live,” Nik said. “We can protect you.”

“No,” Nate said, cutting his brother a look. “What’s going to happen if by some chance Lev is alone without either of you there to protect him? Hmm? Demons would chew him apart.” He gave Lev an apologetic look. “But we can take it easy for today. Work on magic?”

Lev nodded. “Okay.”

“Well, we already know he can make buttplugs,” Nik said, bouncing Eden.

He had never seen Lev move as fast as he had when he whipped around to look at Nik like he was insane. “No? That was Silas.”

“My mistake,” Nik said, dryly.

Lev flushed a bright gold, when he turned back to Nate. Nate forced himself to not smile at the mortified look on Lev’s face. “I’m sure you can do great things with your shadows. Why don’t we go ahead and head to the gym to find out?”

“Okay,” Lev said.

Nate gave him a small smile and led him back to the gym. It was just as pristine as the rest of the house with state of the art equipment, which clearly made sense considering both Nik and Cameron’s… extra curriculars. He went to sit in the middle of the training mat with his legs closed. “Show me what you can do,” Nate said. “I want to see how they work.”

Lev looked around a bit, before wenting to an unlit corner and just… disappeared. No.. he pulled the shadows.. Around himself. Nate’s brows shot up and he went to get up to inspect. Nate couldn’t see him- he wouldn’t be able to see anything if he hadn’t known that Lev was there. He could still smell his magic, still sense it; the same sweet angelic scent that all angel magic had.

The shadows started fading away and Lev’s golden eyes eventually reappeared. “I’m pretty good at hiding when I need to,” he said, sheepishly. “It just doesn’t do me much good in a fight.”

Nate smiled at him, pleased. “Well,” he said, “it’s been my experience that a good defense is sometimes just as good as a good offense. There’s no point of a fight when you can’t defend yourself and you just need to be able to defend yourself until you get to safety. Or in this case, to either Nik or Baylor. Or me.”

“Or Cameron,” Lev said, solemnly, clearly not realizing that Nate had left Cameron off that list intentionally.

“Okay,” Nate said, starting back for the mat. He settled back down on the floor and looked up at Lev. “So we know you can hide well. Can you make things with your shadows? Or solidify them somehow? If you can’t fight with them, then you could put up a wall and run. It’ll slow down any attackers.”

Lev was flushing a bright gold while he settled down in front of Nate. “Silas and I made a little progress with that but that was fifty years ago.”

Nate bit at his lip. “And you haven’t tried anything since?”

Lev looked down at his hands. “We… a lot of the stuff we did, I haven’t… we didn’t do it in the training room. I didn’t find anyone I could trust with that until recently, and I don’t like failing, so I haven’t tried. Sometimes when I’m annoyed with Amara, I can… throw some in her face, but it’s not.. Super substansial. It never has been.”

Training through alternative methods, or sexual methods, did seem right up Silas’ alley, Nate supposed. It was also up his, as well. But he did not think that particular training method would go well for anyone involved. Least of all him, unless he wanted castrated by his mate. But he was far too fond of his cock to even attempt it, even if he wanted to. “Well,” Nate said, biting his thumb nail. “I do not think I could help you with that kind of training. I’m sure Silas would want to, but I’m sure neither Baylor or Cameron would allow that, and I’m sure Silas would not go against my mate’s word. But I’m also sure that neither Nik nor Cameron would be against helping you, uh, train.”

Lev had gotten golder and golder with each word before nearly being as gold as his eyes by the time Nate finished, staring at him wide eyed. He gave a very faint, “I couldn’t ask that of them.”

“I’m sure it wouldn’t be too much trouble for Nik,” Nate said, dryly. “He’d be very eager to help.” Nik was almost as bad as he was, if not worse than he was when it came to finding reasons to fuck around. Nate just had more self control on the matter. Besides, his mate definitely would not do that, just because he actually enjoyed training. So abusing magic for the sake of getting laid was not in the cards. Though, he didn’t know how his particular brand of magic could be used for sex- unless Baylor felt like getting fucked by a ghost. Or straight up dying.

Though-

Knowing his mate-

Lev looked so embarrassed. “I couldn’t- I wouldn’t know how to-”

“If you want, I can ask him?” Nate said.

Lev somehow flushed even more before hiding his face in his hands. Nate winced. “Sorry. Just a suggestion.”

“Nooooo,” Lev moaned, before giving a small, “Maybe?”

“I don’t mind,” Nate tried. “If it’ll help your training….”

The poor omega was so gold. “If you think I should…”

“I’m never one to suggest no sex,” Nate confided in him. “I don’t see any cons with this. Except maybe a sore ass. Though, I can’t imagine you’d be too upset about that. Not if you’re dating Nik of all people.”

Lev shook his head, head still in his hands. “Well… if you really think I should… but… Bay?”

“We’d still be doing our part,” Nate said, keeping the mild irritation out of his voice. “You’d just… be doing extra credit.”

Lev nodded quickly. “Oh I know, I didn’t mean- I know, I just, does he have to know about- about my- my sex life?”

Nate chewed at his lip ring. “He won’t know too much,” he said. “And either way he won’t care, or tell anyone. Even Silas.”

Lev finally looked up. “I didn’t think he’d tell anyone,” he said. “I guess I thought he’d not be okay with it.” Lev paused for a moment. “It’s not very… conventional.”

“Well, neither is being a hybrid raised among humans, and bound to humanity for nineteen years, but here my mate is. I don’t think he’ll care so long as you are training.”

Lev nodded a little. “Okay.”

Nate smiled brightly. “Okay,” he agreed.

-------

Cameron sat in the living room with Eden and Nik while Nate and Lev were off training until Nate finally left; but not before Nate pulled Nik to the side and Lev beelining for the wiggling infant on the floor. When Nik came back, he looked faintly amused. “Nate’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Fantastic,” Cameron said. “I’ll be at the club.”

“Your pissing contest is getting annoying,” Nik mumbled. Lev looked up at that, confusion etched on his face. “Nate doesn’t like Cameron,” he explained.

Lev’s frown deepened. “But Cameron’s nice.”

Cameron looked at him, disgusted. He was many, many things, but in the last three hundred years, no one had the gall to call him nice to his face. “Never say that again.”

“But you… are? You’re nice to me,” Lev said.

Cameron gave Nik an icy look when Nik started wheezing. “Stars,” he said, wiping away nonexistent tears. “Imagine calling Cameron nice. You’d probably think anyone that didn’t just kill you was a nice person, wouldn’t you?”

“Bay’s not nice,” Lev said, sadly.

Bay would probably be just as disgusted with this observation as he was. When Cameron said as much, Nik said, “Lev, stop talking. There is no way you’re going to win this conversation.”

Lev’s only response was pressing his face against Eden, who decided to smack Lev in the face, babbling angrily at him. Lev’s small wounded sound had Cameron rolling his eyes. “I think it’s time for bed.”

Nik seemed to perk up at that, but Lev looked borderline devastated. “I can do it.”

“I’ll do it,” Cameron said, going to stand up. “Bring her, if you want, I guess. But I’m going to do it.” Cameron didn’t give either of them the option to argue with him and started for the nursery. He had a routine and he was not going to let Lev’s hormones get in the way of it.

He let Lev change Eden into her pajamas but ended up taking her from the angel, saying, “Go get prepped for bed while I put her down.” Nik was already walking out of the room, pulling his shirt off. Cameron said, “Your turn.”

Lev handed her over, but not before getting on his toes and rubbing his cheek against Cameron’s and kissing the top of Eden’s head. Cameron refrained from wiping his cheek on his shoulder from the feeling of goosebumps jolting through his skin. “Night, bitty girl,” Lev said, to Eden before following after Nik.

Cameron wasn’t sure what to think of that nickname, other than the fact it wasn’t all that creative. She was an infant, of course she was small. But he elected to not say anything and just lightly bounced Eden while he went to sit in the rocking chair.

Her small hands clenched at his shirt while Cameron coaxed the bottle of formula into her mouth. She latched onto it like a starving man in the desert, but started settling against his chest while sucking at the bottle.

Cameron pressed his lips to the top of her head, inhaling the pure baby smell mixed with her scent. He tried not to think about how she happened to share the same eyes as three members of his family, that apparently despite this, she was supposed to look like him, though, he couldn’t see it. But perhaps that was just wishful thinking on his part.

----

Lev took a thorough shower, less because he needed one desperately, and more because he was relieved the day was over. He finally took out the plug, now that he had the chance to, and left it on the bathroom counter while he scrubbed himself down. Knowing how long Cameron took to get Eden to sleep, Lev figured he had the time to just enjoy himself.

“You're taking too long and I want attention.”

Nik’s voice startled Lev. He jerked, almost slipping, and whipped around to find Nik watching him, having poked his head behind the curtain.

“I was- I’m almost done,” Lev promised. He slicked his hair back and blew a drop of water off his nose. “Give me a few minutes?”

Nik pouted, but sulked off to the bedroom with a petulant, “Fine,” two fingers already in his ass. Lev watched him go, eyes wide. He turned off the water despite what he’d said, and fumbled for a towel. After drying off hastily he slipped into the bedroom and bounced onto the bed beside Nik. Nik didn’t even look up from where he was presenting himself, fingers still deep in himself. Lev ran his hands up Nik’s thigh, and then said curiously, “Can I...?”

Nik gave a soft moan, and just gave a “Yes,” which was hot enough in itself.

Lev nudged Nik’s hand out of the way and settled more comfortably as he slid a couple fingers in Nik. He didn’t get very far before Nik opened his eyes and looked at him.

“Use your shadows,” Nik demanded.

Lev blinked, hand stilling. “I- are you sure? I’m not- I’m no good- It’s not gonna be good.”

“You're only going to get good if you can learn how to satisfy me.”

Lev grimaced, but pulled his fingers out, eyeing the slick that coated them.

“Lick them clean,” Nik said, catching Lev’s eye.

Even though he could feel his face heating, Lev obeyed without thinking, sucking his fingers in his mouth. He held Nik’s gaze, taking his time. Once he was done, he braced his hands on his knees and reached for his magic, tugging shadows into existence. He ran them along Nik’s side, unsure if it was even tangible yet.

“You’re doing good,” Nik said, humming softly. “But make them a little stronger, Lev.”

Lev flushed. “I- I’m- okay,” he said faintly, digging his fingers into his knees. He slid them further, winding down Nik’s thigh curiously, before nudging them up. “I- can you even feel anything?” he asked, letting them vanish.

“A little,” Nik said, nodding.

Lev took a small breath. And then another. And then another, less small breath. His nails left indents in his skin as he summoned his shadows again, running them carefully along Nik’s skin. He was just starting to push at Nik’s hole with all the caution he could muster when he realized Cameron had appeared in the doorway of the bedroom and was leaning against it with his arms crossed.

Lev went gold, his breath catching. His shadows jerked forward, more solid than they’d been all day, shoving into Nik. Nik choked on his next moan, but Lev had already let his magic vanish.

“I can’t,” he said, scrambling back. “I- I can’t.”

Nik was panting as he said, “What’s wrong? You were doing fine.”

Lev shook his head. Once again he dug his nails into his knees, trying to figure out how to explain. Before he could put his thoughts in order, Cameron was at his side, uncurling his fingers with a firm, “Stop.”

Lev pressed his palms against his thighs instead. “I don’t trust myself not to hurt you,” Lev finally said. “I’m not good enough yet. I’ve never- I don’t use them on people.”

“That’s half the fun,” Nik joked.

At the same time, Cameron said evenly, “You’re not going to hurt us.”

Lev shook his head again. “You don’t know that. I don’t have any sort of control over this. I don’t- I can’t and I won't use them on you before I know I’m not going to fuck up and do any sort of harm.”

Cameron shrugged. “That’s your choice, but you’re not going to hurt us. We’ve both been through worse.”

It wasn’t until Lev wrapped his arms around himself that he found the words he wanted to use. “I don’t like having the opportunity. I can’t. I can’t.” He didn’t think Cameron really understood why this bothered him so much, and he didn’t know how else to explain it to him. He looked over at Nik, who was sitting up by this point, and tried not to cry. “I’ll- I’ll fuck you if you want something in- if you want me in you, but- I’ll just keep working on my magic with Nate, I think. At least until I- I trust myself.”

Nik leaned over and kissed him softly. “It’s okay.”

When Lev crawled into his lap, Nik wrapped his arms around him. Lev rubbed his face in Nik’s neck, and sighed. “Do you still want sex?”

Cameron snorted from beside them.

Nik ran his hands down Lev’s back. “I always want sex.” His hands drifted lower, grabbing at Lev’s ass. “How about I ride you? That seems fair.”

Lev nosed under Nik’s jaw before nipping at his neck shyly. “Okay,” he said softly. “I can do that.”

tagging: @idreamonpaper @incandescent-creativity @livvywrites @halstudies​ @alittleyellowdinosaur

[taehyungsgrowl]

I was only pretendending with Jim. Make it as sad as u can

Friends don’t kiss - Jim Mason x Male!Reader 

A/N: This has literally been in my ask box since.. January. I’m really the worst; I’m sorry. But now that both my angsty miniseries are completed.. why not start another, right? 

I got inspiration to tackle this after talking about some Jim x Male!Reader concepts. I understand this was probably sent with the intention of Jim x Fem!Reader, but uhh here we are. I hope you all enjoy this. I think I’ve made it pretty obvious that my favorite genre to write is angst so! Please let me know what you guys think. 

Trigger Warning:  angst, mentions of homophobia + battling w figuring out their sexuality, light sexual mentions (no smut), violence

Plot: Jim and his friend face the judgemental society of Palos Verdes and battle their own inner demons. 

Word Count: 2k

Confusion ran through Jim’s mind.

“What are we doing?” Jim asked breathlessly into the boys mouth, “Just go with it,” he groaned in response, darting his tongue into Jim’s wet lips. 

Now he sat alone in his room with his thoughts for company. 

Y/N had dodged Jim’s questions about what it was they were doing. Besides the frequent late night car rides that were often filled with smoke and brushing lips. What were they? Jim loved Y/N. Even before he kissed him. 

Y/N was there for Jim since he first arrived to Palos Verdes. He took Jim under his wing and became his friend. 

He didn’t want all that to just be thrown out the window because of it. 

But selfishly, Jim wanted more. He wanted more than just late night kisses in secrecy. He wanted to laugh in dinners under neon light signs. He wanted to hold Y/N’s hand and drag him out of parties and kiss him against a wall. He wanted everyone to know. 

He didn’t know what he wanted them to know. Hell, Jim himself wasn’t sure what that was. He just knew that he wanted to be more than friends. 

Jim’s attention focused on the faint sound of the waves crashing furiously in the distance. One after another. It hypnotized him back to that night. The night they let their guards down for the first time. The first time they allowed each other to feel the other. 

Jim’s attention was tied to the smoke. 

Tied to the intangible. Tied to something that would slip between his fingers if his hand reach out to grasp it. 

In hindsight he can almost laugh at the metaphor. His friend - so close, so tempting to touch only to have it vanish before his eyes. 

Y/N’s head tilted towards Jim. He felt the sea in his eyes bore into him. The depth of Jim was much more than met the surface; Y/N felt lucky to be of the few allowed that privilege. 

Y/N extended his hand towards Jim, offering him the lightened joint. Jim’s slender hand found its way wrapped around Y/N’s wrist. Their hammering heartbeats were drowned by the sounds of the darkening ocean before them. Y/N could feel the tension rising in his stomach. Jim leaned closer. He’d never felt safer in his life. He let the stars above them protect them as his lips met Y/N’s. 

Jim would swear he felt the shift in Y/N’s mouth kissing him back. The fleeting moment ended and they both pulled away. 

“I, uh,” Jim laughed, attempting to hide his embarrassment. Friends didn’t kiss. “sorry, bro.” he pulled on the back of his hair, nervously. 

Y/N coughed, looking down at the sand, “No worries, man. It stays here.” He took another long drag of the tightly wrapped joint. Y/N peeked at Jim from below his lashes. His large hand grasped Jim’s bodysuit clad thigh, “It’s all good.” 

But it didn’t stay there. It followed Jim everywhere he went. They weren’t sure how or when the change happened, but it did. Stolen kisses and light strokes of skin were the new norm for them. And it confused Jim immensely. 

Apart from confused, Jim couldn’t help but feel the anger build in him.

“Why don’t we go out?” Jim suggested moments before, “Let me take you out, like,” he coughed into his fist, “like a proper date, I mean.” He sat on the floor, with his back pressed into the navy blue comforter of his bed.

Y/N furiously pressed into the buttons on the controller, staring blankly at the screen. “We don’t.. We don’t have to do that, Jim.” Y/N avoided meeting Jim’s sky blue eyes. Jim held the the depths of the ocean and the possibilities of the sky in his eyes.

But Y/N was too afraid to submerge in them. Too afraid of what they’ll think. Too afraid of being.

“Yeah..” Jim didn’t seem to pick up on the underlying tone of Y/N’s no. “But what if I want to.. Take you out.” he paused between his words. He heard the sigh escape Y/N’s lips as he set the controller down.

“Come here,” Y/N patted the bed, inviting Jim up. Zero hesitation, Jim lifted himself up and on the bed in a blink. His face was held by two large hands, pulling him in closer.

Y/N kissed Jim gingerly. Savoring his taste; attempting to erase his worries.

“Y/N..” Jim spoke against his friends kiss, “What are we doing?” he turned his face, giving Y/N access to his neck. Y/N brought his lips back to his, “Just go with it..” he kissed his again.

And Jim wanted to go along with whatever this was, but he couldn’t and he knew that.

“Mm,” he failed to suppress a moan, “no.” he shook his head. “Y/N…” he pushed the boys chest back, “Stop.”

Y/N’s brows furrowed, “Jim..”

“I - I can’t.. I can’t continue doing this,” Jim gestured in the space between them, “Without knowing.. What this is.” annoyance evident in his voice.

Another heavy sigh. “What is there to know? We’re friends, Jim.” Y/N tried to relax back into the mattress. Friends.

“Bullshit,” Jim got off the bed, “Friends don’t kiss. Not like we do.” he crossed his toned arms over his chest; defensive body language on display.

“Maybe I should go.” Y/N again, was met with the incapacity to face Jim with the truth.

The tension in the room was palpable. Jim felt caged in. All he could do was nod and stare as his best friend walked out his door.

The shrill sound of his phone ringing broke him out of the trance like sadness that washed over him. Buzzzzz Buzzzzzz Buzzzzzz, the phone dragged across the wooden nightstand. The glimmer of hope he felt thinking if Y/N calling, quickly disappeared when he saw the name CHAD burn brightly on the screen.

Jim brought the phone to his ear, allowing the rambunctious idiot to talk first.

“AYYYY JIMBO!” Jim hated the name. “‘Rent’s are outta town and I’m going all out, boy!!” he could hear his other friends yelling in the background.

“You coming or not, bro?” Chad asked,

“I’ll be there.” short answers is all he could manage now. Pushing the rejection down into his lower abdomen, he swore he wouldn’t think of it tonight. That was a problem for future Jim.

***

Y/N’s dad’s voice echoed in his mind. Words of hate that spewed out of his cracked lips engraved in Y/N’s brain. His fear stemmed from something much deeper than himself. Terms of aggression directed at love. Conflict stirred with Y/N.

I never should have let it get this far, his own brooding voice of reason repeated in his head.

The buzz from his back pocket made him jump. “PARTY @ Chad’s” the message read. Shoving it back into his pocket, he went home and decided that a party with pretty girls and booze was what he needed.

***

Empty cups and bottles littered the pathway to the door. Jim walked into the house that vibrated with the low bass of the speakers.

“Jim! Hey! It’s Jim!” Chad slurred out, draping his arms around Jim. “Here. You need a drink, buddy,” he laughed shoving the bottle of vodka into Jim’s chest. Chad stumbled out of Jim’s grasp and continued on his host path, greeting anyone who walked in the door with the enthusiasm of a used car salesman.

His lips latched around the mouth of the bottle; he tilted his head back allowing the briny liquid to dribble past his tongue. Grimacing in the way is burned his throat, Jim continued to swallow back the alcohol.

Bodies becoming blurs and word spilling without thought - Jim was drunk. Drunker than he wanted to be, if he were being honest.  “I don’t know you know like you just,” Jim doubled over, hands on his stomach as he laughed at his jumbled speech, “Dude, what the fuck am I saying?” Jim tried to keep focused on the person he was talking to, but the blank stare looking back at him told him the stranger was on another playing field.

Shaking his head and waving him off, Jim stumbled down the beige colored hallway. Multimillion dollar homes used to intoxicate the youth; Of course no one cared as long as they stayed out of their hair.

Numb fingertips scraped along the textured walls. Jim’s lean body tripped against a wooden bedroom door. Hazy thoughts led him to turn the knob.

“Oh shit!” he took a step back taking in the sight of the brunette sitting on the man’s lap. He couldn’t see his face, but the girl’s face was burning as she reached down to look for her shirt.

That’s when the man’s face was revealed to Jim.

Y/N.

Jim’s face fell; there was no hiding the hurt in his heart. Intoxicated state making his emotions far more prevalent in his actions. “What the fuck?”

Y/N was frozen still. Jim’s hardened stare and tensed jaw said it all. “I.. get outta here, man.” his eyes wandered back to the girl. She clutched her white blouse to her chest. She looked between both men, confused as to what was going on.

“Fuck you, Y/N.” tears stung his eyes as he approached the bed where Y/N sat, wide legged and paralyzed.

“Y/N..” the girls small voice rang in the room as she grabbed on to Y/N’s arm in fear. Fear of Jim.

Jim’s eyes were glazed over, but not by the alcohol. His eyes were glassy in cold anger.

Y/N’s shirt found itself fisted into Jim’s hands as Jim pulled him up by the collar, giving him a hard shove to his chest.

“Jim!” the girls sharp voice was ignored by the two. She scurried out of the room, getting away from the scene unfolding.

Y/N wasn’t inebriated, he was registering his thoughts as Jim attacked his broad chest. He grabbed Jim’s hands trying to pin them at his sides to keep him from hurting himself or him. He knew Jim carried a mean punch; especially when pissed. And he hadn’t seen Jim this pissed since some asshole messed with Medina at the beach.  

Snatching his arms back, Jim pushed harder. Y/N found himself slammed against the wall. The frames around him shaking by the impact.

“I thought you liked me,” Jim wiped at his face angrily. The redness around his nose and eyes mirrored the red he saw when he found Y/N with the pretty brunette in lace.

“I’m not raising a fucking homo.” his father’s words played in his head. The words he said when he found a note Y/N had written about the way he made a boy laugh in the 6th grade. “What do you think everyone would think of me, huh?” he’d storm around the room. “You’re gonna find yourself a pretty girl and forget about this fucking nonsense.” the note was crumbled by the roughness of his father’s hands.

Maybe it was the memories flooding back to Y/N or maybe it was because he found himself at loss for words. Staring into stiffness of Jim’s usual softened features, Y/N felt so much hate. Hate towards himself. Towards his father. Towards Jim.

“I was just pretending, Jim. I didn’t think you.. were taking it seriously.” he held Jim’s gaze. Shoulders squared and ready to refute anything Jim spat back.

Only he wasn’t ready for what Jim threw back at him. The crashing of white knuckles into his nose, sent the back of his head meeting the wall with a bang. Hot blood trickled down his lip and past his chin.

A fit of anger washed over him, shoving Jim back with everything he had in him. But Jim’s force was stronger; the build up of his fury was only amplified by the vodka he’d consumed. His movements were clumsy, but they were forceful. He tackled Y/N on the floor, pinning him to the ground as his fists collided with his face again.

Seeing raging white, the last thing he remembered was a strong pair of arms lifting him up by his shoulders and carrying him away.

Bruises and blood being that last thing Jim saw of Y/N.

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[jujubieberbae]

See You Down There

Requested: Can you do that imagine where jason and Y/N having a baby please ?

I MISSED WRITING!!!

“I gave you direct instructions which you have failed to fall through with. There is no excuse. You have ten seconds to fuck off.” Jason’s voice was stern, terrifyingly calm but underneath was an undying tone of anger for the man and his inability to complete a task.

I knew at that moment he wasn’t bluffing, when was the last time Jason Mccann had ever bluffed? And the trembling man before him obviously knew no better.

Or maybe he did - for he was in this situation after all as a cause of his reckless behaviour. Jason trusted the man with his shipment, directly told him to be here with his guns at seven sharp. Yet here he stood at Nine forty five with no guns and a terrified expression.

Sorry buddy, but you had this coming.

“Please Mr Mccann. You have to understand, I have a family!” 

“So do I.” Jason stated, directing his eyes over to me and my swelling belly. “That’s why when I’m told to do something, I get it done. I will not risk not coming home to them for filthy pleasures.”

“It was one time. I-I didn’t mean to!” The man pleaded.

“Last time I checked you don’t place a bunt in your mouth and smoke it on accident.” Jason spat. “That shipment was really important! My client was expecting me to deliver it hours ago but because of your ignorance, I lost an ally tonight.”

“Please Jason-” The man pleaded to which jason lifted a lip and snarled in anger as well as in warning. The man’s eyes widened, making quick to correct his error. “I mean, Mr Mccann. Don’t kill me. Don’t you have a heart!?”

Ooh. Wrong move buddy.

Suddenly, Jason’s lips twisted into an evil grin - one of menacing amusement that was somehow blank but full of meaning all at once. “A heart?” Jason questioned. “I used too.” He chuckled. “But you see, there's a problem now. My heart was stolen by a beautiful woman who is now carrying my child. It lays in her hands.”

That’s when Jason directed his eyes over to me, a look of love but that stern professional glare shining straight through, informing me that no matter how much he loved me, he meant business. “So tell me baby girl. What do you think I should do?”

A sudden wave of pain rush through me. It was dull but still much noticeable - something I had found was a very common thing in pregnancy. Decided to ignore the flood of discomfort for this really wasn’t a good time to complain about my pregnancy, I glanced around the room finding every pair of eyes burning sternly through my head.

Jason was the first I saw, a look of patient love but professional demeanor. Then the gang members guarding the room caught my eyes next. They all looked on with stern eyes, ready to pounce at the request of my decision, but the man sat with pleading eyes, begging to be spared.

This wasn’t a decision I was appealed to make everyday, so my mind at this point was rushing with thoughts of indecisiveness and fear.

This man had a family to go home to as well as his own gang to run, but over all he did us wrong and disrespected not only our request, but Jason himself. And no one disrespects my husband and gets away with it. I know Jason was giving me the choice to make for myself but deep down, I knew he hoped I’d declare this mans death.

And who was I to upset my husband?

“Kill him.” I spat.

The man’s eyes widened in shock, head whipping from side to side in fear as two guards began approaching each side of his body. “No! No please! Please! Don’t do this!!”

The two members of Bizzle gang roughly gripped ahold of the mans shoulder’s, ripping him up rather aggressively. The man’s cries and screams echoed through the entirety of Jason’s office, who must I say had a large and satisfied grin on his face.

Slowly, Khalil and Za dragged the man away kicking and screaming, yelling profanities of all sorts over his breath. But One sentence in particular managed to catch me off guard, his words burning through me and panging me with worry. A pang that was physically felt as a second wave of pain endured me.

“I hope your and wife and child rot in hell!” and at that moment, I watched as Jason’s face visibly twisted from one of satisfaction to a firing rage.

It was no less than point 2 seconds before Jason had flung his body out of his chair, face red and burning with anger. “Bring him back here!”

And not wanting to anger the boss, Za and Khalil dragged the boy back, holding him down on the chair forcefully. Jason leaned forward, his face mere inches from the man. His once honey eyes presented black and I was honestly scared for the man myself.

Jason snarled, teeth visible as he spat his words. So harsh that they sent shivers down my spine. “You will regret ever meeting me, let alone wishing death upon my family. I may be a murderer but I am a child of god. And so god help me, if they’re going to hell then I’m going with them. Just not going anytime soon.”

Then he smiled, one to send even the strongest of men running. A psychotic, treacherous smile. “See you down there.”

And with a swift movement he had drawn his gun, clicked the safety off and pulled the trigger all before I could blink. The sound rung throughout the room and I flinched ever so slightly at the echo of the shell clattering to the ground.

The sight before me had bile rising up my throat, pooling in my mouth. The sight usually wouldn’t phase me but this pregnancy was making it hard to keep anything down. Blood splattered the room and the mans body lay lifeless on the seat, a hole of nothing in the center of his forehead with blood oozing down it.

It was all too much and I was found doubling over besides me. My breakfast was fast to exit my body, relieving the nausea’s feeling pooling in my stomach.Though Jason was quick to run over to me, a hand on my back as I began to stand straight again.

“You okay baby girl?” He questioned with a sincere tone. He was used to my constant nausea episodes and found it quite normal that I had thrown up.

But yet again, another wave of pain fell over my body, a burning cramp riding up from my stomach, extending as far as my torso reached. This one was a lot stronger than the last, and I was found once again doubling over, but this time in pain.

A groan of misery was emitted from my throat, a hand reaching up to clutch my stomach. Everyone in the room stiffened, eyeing me with worry as I stood back to lean on Jason’s shoulder.

“It hurts!” I yelled. “Jason it hurts!”

He was quick to grab a hold of my body. He lifted both my arms, wrapping each around his neck with both arms around my waist to stabilize me. His eyes held worry with a glint of fear - something you never saw Jason feeling. “What is it baby?” He frantically asked. “What’s hurting?”

It took everything in me to muster up the words “M-My stomach! It hurts!” I Groaned. “I think I’m having c-contractions.”

Jason’s eyes widened as he glanced down at my stomach. He had read the pregnency books I asked him to read after a litle begging but none the less still asked, “What does that mean?!”

That's when It hit me, and I began announcing the words we had been waiting to hear ever since the day I  found out I was pregnant. “I think I’m going into labour!”

Just like Jason’s, everyone's eyes largened, and I almost wanted to slap them for just staring at me while I groaned in pain.

“Well don’t just stand there, do something!”

And then everyone was off. Jason began instructing the gang to start up the car and grab my hospital bag from upstairs, a few rushing around to follow Jason’s orders while others proceeded to cancel all jason’s meetings for the rest of the day.

But Jason instead stood by me, his forehead leant against mine with his eyes closed.

“I’m scared.” I announced.

Jason licked his lips, lifting a hand to caress my face. “It’s okay baby girl. Just breath.”

“But I’m not ready.” Tears brimmed my eyes and I felt like I was about to colapse right then and there.

Jason shook his head. “Shh.” He cooed. “You're ready. More than ready. You're going to do great. Just think about it, in a couple of hours were going to be right back here, but this time with a beautiful baby girl.”

I chuckled. “Boy.”

“Baby, It’s a girl.”

“I think It’s a boy.”

Justin shook his head, a smile present on his face. “It’s going to be a girl. I can feel it.”

There was a few more seconds of smiles before I once again groaned in pain, lighting everyone back to the situation at hand. Jason opened his eyes, looking down at the bump then back to me with excitement. I just wanted to kiss him, hold my baby in my hands and never let go.

“Y/N.” Jason whispered.

“Yeah.” I hummed.

“Let’s go have a baby.”