#tomorrows is 100x better

[fruixtii]

fireworks always make me emotional for some reason…

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

Bel and Vanilla hype me up so much. They love every little thing about my appearance

I always hear them say how cute and beautiful I am, and they shower me with compliments and kind words 🩵💙💜 they think I'm the most gorgeous person in the entire world

Whenever I feel bad about my appearance, they're always there to tell me how much they love me and how pretty and handsome and cute I am!! And they'll tell me a million times and a million times more 🩵💙💜

[lexalovesbooks]

Whoo boy the pre-workshop anxiety is finally kicking in

[mystsee]

MESMERIZED ✦ KEEGAN P. RUSS

✦ about: keegan is mesmerized with you since he first met you ♡

✦ content: NSFW +18, virgin!reader, afab reader, blood, guns & death mentions, panic attacks, misogyny

✦ a.n: the boots i kinda imagined are the moonboots!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

in the sun-kissed landscapes of italy, you, with your captivating charm and surprising intelligence, was dealing with a meeting with very higher ups in the politic world, things were going so far so good.

that was until your boss, a figure whom you trusted very much, revealed to you the news. a deployment to russia as a military translator.

nervous feelings ran down your spine, not from the revelation of a new challenge, but from the anticipation of russia’s frigid embrace. most of the time, you were assigned to help translate in missions involving trafficking, drugs, dark stuff like that. and having to translate for the “bad guys” involved them being not so nice to you. mostly because they don’t like a woman all up on their dark buisness.

nevertheless, you knew you were going to be protected, and the military people have never treated you wrong.

you prepared your clothes, having to use a bigger backpack due to all the puffy jackets, scarfs, you know, all cold related things. which you do not protest! the colder the weather, the better you can dress.

right now you had a puffy black jacket, warm leggings with a thick skirt attached! it was 100x more comfortable because now your ass didn’t have to feel all the cold seats anymore. and of course your puffy boots, thick beige fur covering the boots. one thing about you is your feet were always cold, making you use like 3 layers of socks!

you arrived late night, making the cold even worse but you managed to cover the lower half of your face with your scarf, seriously the cold was so bad in here. as you disembarked from the helicopter, the biting russian cold embraced you, making you shiver involuntarily.

you were greeted warmly by your captain “nice to see you again over here” he smiled warmly “i’m glad too, really missed the artic” he laughed at that, how could he be out here with only a small jacekt?!

he noticed your shivering frame, you thought you were hiding it well, making him start leading you through the snow-covered landscape over to base.

upon entering, all eyes turned towards you – a mix of amazement and curiosity danced in the gaze of your new colleagues, you knew your boots were quite attention catching, probably why everyone kept staring at you.

to say you were pretty was little, it was obvious everyone in the room found you beautiful, but you didn’t pay it any mind, again thinking maybe your boots were standing out a bit too much, not the way your thighs looked so good with the skirt on top, but! they would need to get used to see your babies, they were your go-to in cold weather.

however, one pair of eyes stood out, belonging to keegan. he almost looked mesmerized with you. he watched you stride with an unyielding confidence, almost model like, the skirt making your hips move so so pretty, that it was making it hard for him to stop staring at you.

somehow your eyes found his, thanking the heavens you had your scarf covering your cheeks because you were blushing so hard rn, his gaze lingered, an admiring intensity in his eyes that you almost tripped.

only his eyes, a window to the unspoken thoughts within, were visible, making you curious. as his fellow soldier spoke, keegan’s attention remained freezed on you, his focus unyielding, and the words of his comrade fading into the background of his silent admiration.

the spell was broken as soon as the captain opened the door to his office, inviting you in to debrief the mission with you. you were going with keegan’s team to help them gather intel, they were trying to find a very big drug dealer, and you translating, would help them find him faster.

tomorrow morning would be your first mission with them, yet you still didn’t know who keegan was, making it intriguing whom you’d be working with.

captain showed you your room, it was a basic military room, a twin sized bed in the middle, small vanity to your left, a desk in the other size to the room, and a small window, last but not least, your own bathroom.

you pleaded your boss to give you your own bathroom, there was enough experiences a girl can have in a shared bathroom used by men.

you started investigating about who you were translating for tomorrow, loosing the track of time. by the time you finished it was 3 am, making you worry a little, you were leaving tomorrow at 6 am.

you were almost going to bed when your stomach rumbled, making you internally groan, you knew that if you didn’t sleep, insomnia would make its way to you.

rolling your eyes you went to the kitchen, you thought everyone was asleep rn, so you paid no mind yo your outfit, a small cropped sweatshirt, leggings and fluffy slippers.

you were about to eat your slice of bread with jam when a sudden voice made you drop it to the washer “can’t sleep?” “jesus fuck!” you swore you felt your heart stop for a second, you never saw anyone in here!

you turned around to see the same guy from before, keegan, who just stared at you, seated in a chair with a book in his hands, it almost looked like he was trying to contain his laugh.

“what’s wrong with you!” you said with a smile laughing, he probably saw your bread jump to the washer “me? nothing, was just asking” he said it so proud of himself “how do you even read with all the lights off?” by now you had turned to him, still by the counter “i wasn’t reading, i was drinking tea” “oh” you never saw the cup of tea beside the book silly you.

“just know you ruined my dinner” you said pouting “and you asked my what’s wrong with me” he said scoffing “oh come on, don’t tell me you don’t eat late at night” “no i do princess, just not a bread with jam at 3 in the morning” his nickname made you stop your breath for a second, deciding to pay no mind to it “but you do you princess” he was by your side now, putting his cup of tea in the washer, until you saw him freeze next to you, there was small light coming from outside, oh yea, you had no bra on.

he could see see your breasts, your nipples to be precise, under your sweatshirt, practically begging to be touched, your sweatshirt was so small it had ridden up just a tiny bit when you were making your dinner, making keegan see a small part of your under breast.

“princess” keegan suddenly moved closer to you, making you see his eyes better, revealing a captivating shade of blue, a mesmerizing hue that held a subtle warmth within its cool depths, caught your attention.

his gaze, unwavering in its intensity, sent a gentle warmth through you, leaving a blush on your cheeks again, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken connection forged in that shared moment.

“you still don’t know my name” which was true making you ask for it, when he said it, he saw the realization in your eyes “oh! i’m working with you in the next mission” you said a bit breathlessly “glad to have you with us” you could see the deep appreciation for you in his eyes.

keegan had heard about you, he knew of your well-regarded reputation as a translator, held a silent acknowledgment of the confidentiality that shrouded your professional endeavors.

in the subtle lines of his expression, you could see respect for the enigma that surrounded you, a recognition that spoke volumes without uttering a single word. “thank you” you said, he just nodded to you, he was so close to you now you could feel his chest, and his chest could feel your nipples. you just held your breath keeping eye contact with him “well, princess, you must get your sleep, i won’t keep you up” you were in a trance when he moved, snapping you out of it “goodnight keegan” you said in a small voice. keegan smiled behind his mask.

ever since then, a connection quietly unfolded between you and keegan. it initially started as him being a distant observer, he always kept his eyes on you everywhere you went, even more when you were speaking russian towards the males, you held such confidence with you he was deeply allured with you.

his presence evolved into a silent shield, a comforting assurance amidst the unfamiliarity of a foreign land. he may couldn’t understand russian, but he sure as hell could see the body language and the tones they were speaking to you.

everytime he could sense any sort of verbal assault at you, his steely gaze fixed upon the adversaries with an intensity that spoke volumes, as well as his hidden raised gun;), sensing the weight of his silent threat, they found themselves silenced. even though you had no idea he was threatening them behind you.

you always knew keegan had your back, and silently thanked him for it. as the time passed, you felt keegan more protective of you, and you more attentive of him, you two were almost all the time together.

there were moments, a shared smile in the midst of icy winds, or a wordless understanding in the chaos of a mission, that spoke louder than words. in these instances, his protective instinct manifested – a steady hand guiding you through the challenges, a silent assurance that you were not alone. metaphorically as well as physically.

his interactions evolved into a touch that carried a warmth beyond mere protection. his gestures, once purely professional, became tinged with an affectionate familiarity.

a guiding hand on the small of your back during a mission briefing or a reassuring touch on your shoulder in moments of uncertainty, each contact seemed to convey a connection that lingered beyond the realm of your relationship.

these touches carried a feeling of something more, a silent language of shared emotions between you and him. in the hushed moments when his hand lingered a second longer than necessary or the gentle squeeze that accompanied a reassuring smile.

in the dim glow of the base's common area, keegan’s touches continued to weave a tapestry of unspoken connection. a shared moment over a map had his fingers brushing against yours, the contact lingering for a heartbeat longer than required, it was practically normal for you to be blushing around him now.

during a particularly challenging mission, his arm found its way around your shoulders, a protective embrace in the face of caos. in that moment you just wanted to be beside him all the time, you felt safe around him.

there was also a time in which keegan was behind you, listening to what you would be doing, until he felt rather not okay with what you were supposed to do. he suddenly put his hand discreetly on your waist, and the other arm in front of your chest, his hand subtly telling “no”

“she’s with us, meaning we protect her, what you’re saying is risky for her, she won’t do it” you felt warmth on your chest. you have never experienced this, the other teams you had been were never this attentive with you. it was a weird emotion for you, you were used to always seek for yourself.

in the quiet of the nights, a shared gaze held more than words could express. keegan’s hand, a reassuring presence, sought yours across the table, fingers intertwining with yours, squeezing your fingers every now and then. he did that more times than you could count.

the line between friendship and something deeper became increasingly blurred, leaving both of you suspended in the uncharted territory of unspoken emotions.

the endearing term "princess" slipped from his lips almost all the time, a word you loved hearing from him even though you never tell him. it became a private language, whether in the midst of a mission or during quiet evenings, the endearment echoed, making you warm inside all the time.

keegan’s feelings had transcended the boundaries of friendship, evolving into a profound connection that bordered into almost being in love with you.

his gaze, once intense, now carried a softness that showed a deep admiration, a mesmerizing allure that held him captivated in your presence.

his eyes just seemed to follow you everywhere, absorbing every detail of you, every facet of your being, as if etching your essence into his soul.

the desire to be with you became a palpable force, an unspoken longing that lingered in the spaces between conversations. the way his fingers sought yours, the way he leaned in, just a fraction closer than necessary – each action seemed to fluster you more and more.

you too couldn’t deny it, you felt drawn to him, but even with the warmth of his company and shared moments, there was a bit of confusion.

your feelings were kind of mixed up, wanting to connect with him but also feeling unsure about it. it’s like a struggle between what your heart wants and what your head is thinking.

you just don’t know how to respond to him :(

figuring out your own feelings became a bit like wandering through a maze, with no clear destination.

being close to keegan made you feel good, but accepting his love brought its own set of uncertainties. you tried taking things one step at a time, trying to make sense of your own heart and the budding feelings between you two.

until you just couldn’t anymore

you were in a very heated meeting with keegan, as always, behind you, talking to a very dangerous person, in a very dangerous place, at any moment now something could happen, making you feel on edge all the time there. you felt keegan’s hand hold your shoulder softly, reminding you he is here with you.

in the middle of the conversation, you saw in less than a second the man’s eyes change, from angry, to weirdly happy, like he was going to be free from all this interrogation. you were confused, until you heard it.

bullets and bullets and more bullets echoed in the building, as well as some passing through the windows in the small office you were. in a second keegan had moved you, shielding you from any possible damage

you heard him speak to the captain, the captain said they were under attack, making difficult to get out of there. you were alone inside with keegan and the man, he was tied to the table though, so you weren’t worried he would escape.

keegan held you behind his back, opening the door and checking if it was safe to go out. he made a clear sign and went to the right side. you were shaking of fear, you could hear explosions all over the place, the shaking of the floor, bullets everywhere, it was crazy.

suddenly a man spawned out of nowhere pulling keegan and tried stabbing him.

the military gave you a gun before you left, you had basic military training, knew how to use a gun, yet never needed to. but seeing keegan almost being stabbed made you react on instinct, you pulled your gun in less than a second and shoot the bastard. keegan’s was free from the man’s arm and shot another bullet between his head.

you just stood there, the adrenaline was making it hard to process what just happened, but you could feel your body trembling with fear, you may have possibly just killed a man. you’ve never done that in your life.

keegan saw the fear in your eyes “princess, hey, i need you to focus on me” keegan’s grabbed your face, you stared at him, worry clear in your eyes “you saved me and you’re a fucking badass for that” keegan’s appreciation words dragged you out of the dark thoughts you were falling to.

you both heard footsteps approaching you, making keegan grab your hand, tight, and walked to the other direction, you moved faster than him, adrenaline was making you rushed now, until you were about to move to the other corner of the hallway and saw armed men looking for, you supposed, keegan and you.

you pushed keegan back, startling him for a second, until he could hear the voices. you had a door next to you, keegan opened it and dragged you both inside. it was small, very small, yet enough for hiding. keegan turned you so his back was to the door, always protecting you first.

you on the other hand, was shaking shitless again, you could understand what they were saying, they were here for you, obviously not happy at all that you knew about what they were doing.

keegan once again tried dragging you out of your starting panic attack, he said your name twice trying to get your attention. you looked at him, you were very much fucking scared.

“hey, you’re with me, i won’t let anything happen to you okay?” you felt one of keegan’s hand hold your head softly, the other went to your back. you then realized he was hugging you, you were so close to each other he didn’t even need to moved you closer. you moved your hands to hold his back too, resting your head on his shoulder.

in the middle of the chaotic circumstances, keegan emerged as your anchor, his presence became the grounding point that helped you survive this.

it was then when it hit you, the realization, the profound connection that resonated beyond words. attempting to utter his name, you found your voice stifled by anxiety, your very core trembling with fear.

keegan, ever perceptive, tightened his hold around you, a silent reassurance.

as the threat passed by your door, keeping your mouth shut became a necessity, not just for the mission at hand but also to guard the burgeoning emotions inside you.

after a few minutes, you could hear them muffled, meaning they were far. keegan opened the door, still holding you, and looked out, he saw that it was clear “let’s go princess”

the next few minutes was you and keegan trying to get out of here, it was almost like a maze, the explosions seemed to calm down as well as the bullets. but there was still people looking for you.

you were about to turn to your left when a hand grabbed you from your neck, choking you, you tried to scream, but the man was fast, he suddenly pushed you to the wall, punching you in the face, almost breaking your nose, but you moved just in time your face, hitting you in the cheek.

you suddenly remembered you had a gun, you pulled it out, raising it fast to the middle of his head and shot him quick.

it was ugly, scary, and it glued you to your spot, all his blood soaked you, yet his hold on you loosened, making the man fall to your shoulder, surely staining your coat.

you were so fucking scared you thanked the lord keegan grabbed the man and lunched him to the wall behind.

you were again almost in shock, but keegan was in front of you fast “come on baby, we need to leave this hell” keegan kept dragging you, your body fully trusting him, because you were going into shock now.

you saw light, and finally you were out, a few dead people scattered on the ground, not helping you at all.

it until you saw the familiar humvee you felt slight ease. everyone saw your state, blood soaking all your face, dripping all over your coat. quite a sight. keegan just shakes his head to his teammates, silently telling them that you needed space now.

the soldiers admired you, even cared for you after all this time, it was clear seeing you like this worried them, but they trusted keegan, and they know you trust keegan too.

keegan helped you up the humvee, sitting next to you, you felt him whispering beside you “you okay?” you just nodded taking a small ragged breath, wiping your nose. you felt disgusting, you could feel the man’s blood dripping down your nose, the need to shower was strong right now.

keegan just softly held your hand, squeezing it to help you ground yourself, but you just couldn’t, you were so bloody anxious right now you couldn’t stop moving your leg up and down.

keegan felt it, slightly worried about you, he knew you’ve never been in combat before, let alone kill someone. you felt his hand slowly let go of yours, and put it on top of your thigh, making you halt your movements.

he kept it there slightly above your knee, massaging a little, not daring to move his hand up higher.

the ride to base was just the captain talking to someone on the radio, other than that, it was silent.

as soon as you arrived to base, you hurried out of the humvee, and fast towards the barracks, feeling the weight of the mission on your shoulders. you desperately needed the shower.

keegan stayed by the humvee, not following you right away. he stood there, giving you room. he could understand the impact of what just happened, and knew letting you calm down first was a good idea.

the letting you calm down time meant maybe you would come out of your room later, but now, it was 11:45 pm, and keegan was more than worried about you now. he had no idea you were still in the shower, living the past event over and over in your head.

you just couldn’t erase the image from your brain, just seeing the man’s eyes go lifeless in front of you, it was such a crazy thing to look at, and you weren’t dealing with it very okay.

you felt dirty, even though you cleaned your body more than twice. you had lost the track of time, you were so inside your brain you forgot to eat something. your stomach begging for food now, making you feel nauseous.

you just put on a brown long sleeve sweatshirt with some random leggings. you knew it was last midnight now, making it easier for you, you didn’t want to see anyone right now.

keegan, on the verge of heading to your room, noticed you entering the kitchen. your eyes were red, and your nose was puffy – the signs of tears evident. the concern on his face deepened as he observed the aftermath of emotions that had washed over you. he paused, recognizing the fragility in your demeanor, reconsidering whether to approach and offer comfort in this vulnerable moment.

spotting keegan in the kitchen, you froze in place. your hair, still damp, added a chill to the atmosphere, and a subtle shiver ran through you. keegan stood there, his worry evident in his eyes. the unspoken concern made you feel a twinge of guilt for disappearing, realizing the impact it had on him.

feeling the wave of emotions crash over you once again, tears welled up, and sobs escaped despite your efforts. a whispered "i'm sorry" escaped your lips, muffled by your trembling hand pressed against your mouth. the vulnerability laid bare.

in an instant, keegan was by your side. dressed in a simple black sweatshirt and cargo pants, he became your anchor once again.

his chest against your trembling form, you held him tight, as if seeking solace in the warmth of his presence. his hands gently cradled your head and waist, offering a silent reassurance, “nothin’ to be sorry about princess” you could feel his deep voice rumble in his chest “it’s okay”

his hand now gently petting your hair as you clung to him. between sobs, you began to express the guilt weighing on your chest. "i feel so bad for leaving like that" you admitted, the words punctuated by shaky breaths.

the shock of your actions you did a while ago lingered, casting a shadow on your thoughts. the vulnerability in sharing your feelings with keegan felt both liberating and daunting. it was a bad habit of yours, disappear whenever you felt any emotion that wasn’t happiness. it was normal to you:( even if it’s been more than 12 hours since you last emerged from your room.

keegan’s voice, calm and reassuring, cut through the heaviness of the moment. "it's okay," he whispered, his hand still tenderly stroking your hair. "you're here now, and that's what matters."

a flicker of strength ignited within you, and you stood a little taller, you pressed a tender kiss on keegan’s cheek, your hand lingering on his face for a heartbeat. his eyes held an unspoken love, you could see it clearly now.

keegan’s question for the kiss hung in the air, a gentle curiosity evident in his gaze. you felt his mask close and his breaths deepen, you took a moment, meeting his intense eyes. "it’s a thank you," you said softly, "for always protecting me."

his response was a tightening of the embrace, bringing you even closer. his face, now near yours, held an intensity matched by the deep breaths he took. in a rough voice deep with emotion, he confessed, "you driving me fucking crazy." the admission hung in the air, your cheeks flushing furiously.

a playful challenge danced in your eyes as you maintained intense eye contact. "what if you show me how much I drive you crazy?" you suggested, your doe eyes locked onto his.

a groan escaped him as he dropped his head to your shoulder. laughter bubbled from you, but your breath hitched as keegan shifted, causing your sweatshirt to ride up slightly. the short length and absence of a bra made you almost flash him your right breast.

keegan could feel it, in fact, he could feel your nipples pressed on him since he hugged you, making his pants feel tighter.

you felt keegan’s hand move up, near your breast, starting to massage there, making you blush furiously “may i remind you were are still in public keegan” you didn’t want anyone walk in on keegan almost touching your breasts, in the middle of the kitchen.

startling you in a swift motion, he lifted you off the ground, his strong hold on your bum leaving you feeling both surprised and strangely like jelly inside, and before you could voice your concerns, he began walking towards your room.

you were silently screaming at him about the possibility of getting caught, but keegan just tightened his hold on you more like squeezing your booty, effectively silencing you.

the situation didn't seem to faze him as he navigated the corridors, your protests muted in the intensity of the moment. the world outside seemed to fade away as keegan carried you and opened your door, leaving behind a trail of laughter and a flutter of unspoken excitement.

you thought he was going to drop you now, but no! he just went to your bed, and dropped you, making you bounce and laugh at what he just did “such a romantic” keegan just held the back of your legs and dragged you near his cock.

that motion made your shirt roll up, now showing him your bare breasts. you widened your eyes a little, but keegan looked like he was more enamored by you now “what a fucking sight i have” he couldn't help but revel in the intimate view of you beneath him. your eyes, filled with affection, locked onto his, radiating a warmth that mirrored the depth of your connection.

the air thickened with tension, and keegan couldn't ignore the tightening in his pants, a physical response to the emotional intimacy and the allure of the moment. “look how you make me feel princess” you could feel it, near your cunt, his big cock, making a big tent in his pants.

you just couldn’t anymore, you rolled your hips up a little, the sensation almost made you cum on the spot, but keegan just made a noise of disapproval “nuh uh, let me have my time with my princess yeah?” you blushed even more when keegan took a hold of your hips, and slowly moved his hands up, dying to touch your breasts.

when his hands finally felt them, he was on cloud 9. they were so soft and moldeable in his hands he could feel precum leaking from his cock. keegan lowered himself close your breasts, rolled his mask up, and licked your nipple making you moan.

he started sucking on your nipple like a man starved, while the other hand groped your other breast, pinching your nipple and rolling it between his fingers. you were panting, his hands were god sent, as well as his mouth.

that’s when you felt the sudden urge to kiss him. and you couldn’t wait anymore. feeling the magnetic pull, you took charge, gently dragging his face upward to meet yours. in a bold move, your lips crashed against his, a collision of desire and longing.

a sound of contentment escaped keegan, emotions flowing between you like an electric current. the world outside the moment ceased to exist as the intensity of the kiss spoke volumes, an unspoken exchange of emotions and desires woven into the fabric of that stolen, passionate embrace.

keegan deepened the kiss even more, angling your head better, he was heaven sent. in the heat of the kiss, your hands, seemingly of their own accord, found their way to his mask. it became an unconscious exploration, a touch laden with curiosity. unexpectedly, keegan broke the kiss, startling you, and swiftly snatched away his mask.

in the soft glow of the small light, his face was revealed, and you found yourself enraptured by the sight of him.

"you’re so beautiful" the words slipped from your lips almost involuntarily. a deep resonance of satisfaction echoed in keegan’s chest, and without a moment's hesitation, he dragged you up. seated on his knees, you found yourself straddling him, his hands on your waist and bum, fondling with it making you whine, as your lips met again in a deep, intoxicating kiss, yet you felt needy.

involuntarily you moved your hips, grinding right on his cock, making him groan deeply “fuck baby, you’re going to make me cum” knowing he was as aroused as you made you feel even more needy, making you grind your hips even more.

keegan’s hand took a hold of your hips, making you stop your movements. you whined again, even surprising you, you’ve never met this side of you, so needy of someone.

keegan's touch on your face was soft, almost reverent. he spoke with a gentle intensity, "i want to worship you. let me." the request hung in the air, and you, captivated by the depth of his gaze, agreed with a simple nod.

with deliberate tenderness, keegan laid you back onto the bed, his hands moving to the fabric of your clothes. He began with your sweatshirt, each movement deliberate and unhurried, as if unraveling the layers of vulnerability and desire between you two. as he raised your sweatshirt up, his hands once again touched your breasts, making you moan lowly.

keegan just smirked, having removed your sweatshirt, he then proceeded to shed his own shirt. the unveiling of his toned body drew an involuntary blush to your cheeks. his eyes caught yours, and a playful smile graced his lips.

"like what you see?" he teased, the husky timbre of his voice adding a layer of seduction to the moment. the air hung heavy with anticipation as you met his gaze, your response a silent affirmation that echoed in the space between you two.

keegan, still holding your gaze with an intensity that spoke volumes, continued his deliberate exploration. his hands, deft and unhurried, moved to your leggings.

with tenderness, he peeled them away, revealing more of your vulnerability. the room seemed to pulse with shared desire as each layer of clothing fell away, creating an intimate tapestry of connection between you and Keegan.

you were only with your panties on now, and keegan with his grey boxers, not hiding anything, making you slightly anxious, he looked very big, and you’ve never done this before.

a sudden realization gripped you, and you couldn't help but say, "wait" keegan, on the verge of sliding your panties off, halted immediately, his expression shifting to one of concern.

nervously, you confessed, "i’ve never done this before." the vulnerability in your admission hung in the air, an unspoken plea for understanding and patience. the room, once charged with desire, now held a new layer of intimacy.

keegan, surprised by your revelation, felt a renewed sense of responsibility. he looked into your eyes, the desire tempered with understanding, and reassured you, "i’ll go slow. we’ll take it at your pace."

his words carried a gentle promise, a commitment to make you feel at ease in this intimate moment. keegan then slowly slide your panties off, your cunt now bare and displayed in front of him. keegan just stared at it for a second, absolutely beautiful he thought; all shiny with your slick, begging for some attention. and who was he to deny it.

one thing about keegan, he loved foreplay, and you, you liked it too, but he’s made you cum twice! fingers and tongue involved, you weren’t complaining, but you really wanted his cock now.

from where you were, you could see his boxer stained with precum, making you whine, you were past needy now “i need you keegan, please” keegan heard the whiny tone from you, making his cock even more hard.

“such a needy princess aren’t you” keegan swiftly removed his boxers down, his cock sprang free on his stomach. your mouth was watering just seeing it. it was big, veiny and thick.

you didn’t think it, you were on all 4s now, keegan was looking behind dropping his boxer when he felt your mouth on his cock, making him hiss loud as well as whined “fuck princess, what are you doing?” you could hear his voice strained, like he was containing himself.

you didn’t answer, it was your first time doing this, yet you felt confident when you swallowed almost his whole cock down your throat, making keegan’s hands grab your head, pushing you deeper, making his eyes roll back.

“who taught you this?” he was a panting mess now, you kept bobbing your head up and down, using your angelic hands to grab his balls, swollen with his cum, massaging them, making keegan go all over the edge.

he didn’t warn you, just grabbed your head dragging it all the way down, thrusting his big cock down your throat, moaning loud. you decided to look at him then, giving your best puppy eyes you could, making keegan mesmerized with you, you could see all his reactions from here, his stomach clenching, his mouth panting, and his eyes full of love.

“i’m gonna cum love” you felt keegan trying to move his cock out of your mouth, but you just grabbed his hips, pushed them to you, and moving your tongue around his veiny cock.

keegan cummed on the spot, thick white ropes of cum going all the way down your throat, you as the princess you are, swallowed it whole, keeping your hand on his balls, feeling them clench everytime he cummed.

you were sure keegan was about to pass out now, that was the hardest orgasm he’s ever felt.

his desire was evident in the intensity of his gaze, deciding to take charge. his hands gently grasped your head, lifting you slightly making you put your hands on his big muscular chest. a deep, intense kiss ensued, each meeting of your lips sending a shiver through your body.

keegan murmured a sweet praise, "you’re such a beautiful good girl aren’t you?" he was still in his post orgasmic state, making you laugh a little, but this man had a very strong stamina.

you could feel his cock hard again in between your stomach making you put your hand on top of his slit. he bucked his hips a little “come on now” he said with a strained voice “let me make you feel good” desire evident in his voice.

keegan laid you down on the bed, moving your thighs open, letting your cunt once open to him. keegan not waisting a second now, aligned his cock with your cunt, dragging it up and down your folds “stop teasing keegan” you said pouting.

it took you by surprise when you felt his tip in your entrance, making you stop your breath for a second, keegan was smirking now, how easy it was to shut your needy ass up.

“i’ll go slow yeah? you tell me if it too much princess” keegan started sliding his thick cock insided your virgin cunt, it felt weird, a slight burn everytime he slide deeper.

keegan on the other hand was in awe, he saw your cunt swallowing his cock inside, inch by inch, your puffy clit at view too. in a second keegan had his hand on your clit, slowly circling it, making you moan, allowing his cock to slide further.

once he bottomed, he stayed there, he was still on his knees, allowing him a beautiful view. you had your knees next to your breasts, his cock swallowed by your cunt, your face flushed.

he couldn’t wait anymore, keegan dropped his forearms next to your head, and started grinding his cock inside your cunt. you felt so full, and him grinding was almost hitting your womb, making you moan loudly. “keegan you’re so deep” you said frowning from pleasure, your nails were on his big muscular biceps, hanging on for dear life.

“does it feel good?” “very fucking good” you said moaning the last word, keegan had his head hidden on your neck, his pace now a bit faster, balls hitting your ass everytime he thrusted, the skin to skin slapping sound resonating all over your room, creating such an erotic scene.

keegan then raised his head and kissed you deeply, his hand holding your head softly, you could feel him even deeper now. he had you on a mating press, his chest squeezing your breasts making your nipples stand out even more “you feel so fucking good princess” “this cunt belongs to me yeah” “you’re all fucking mine”

keegan kept saying this small praises everytime he thrusted, but what made your orgasm come quick was when he said you were his. yes you were. you were his since you met him. he was there for you ever since then, always by his side, always his.

“y-yes i am” keegan’s intense gaze was on you now “i’m yours keegan, all yours” he hit a particular spot inside you that you saw stars, moaning loud “say that again princess” “i’m yours” keegan was about to cum just from hearing you say that.

“and you’re all mine” you kissed him hard when you said that. keegan never thought you were the possessive type, yet when he heard you say that, you could say he fell in love even deeper “you’re all fucking mine keegan” you started meeting his thrusts with your hips, your clit rubbing with his stomach making your orgasm come fast.

keegan could feel it, you were clenching stronger now, almost making him stop his movements “you cumming princess?” that goddamn nickname was going to be the death of you “i want to cum with you”

your needy voice made keegan tighten his hold on you, and thrust deeper, and slower. keegan grabbed your face and kissed you, his other hand rubbing your clit. making you cum hard.

keegan cummed in an instant too, feeling your cunt clenching around his cock too, your orgasm so hard you closed your eyes. he cummed inside you, sliding even further, letting all his cum coat your walls with him. only him.

he stayed there for a while, letting you come down from the high. you were breathing hard, his cock now softening inside you, yet you didn’t want him to come out yet.

you used your feet to hit him on the hips, making him slide a bit more “stay here for a while” keegan caught the message, you wanted to cuddle. with him still inside you.

you were a sucker for cuddles, and touch starved. so when keegan laid down, still inside you, and dragged you almost on top of him, you felt shivers down your spine.

as keegan’s arms enveloped you in a tender embrace, a warmth spread through you, reaching the neglected corners of your soul. the gentle cradle of his arms was a stark contrast to the void you hadn’t realized existed, a reminder of the absence of such intimate touch in your life.

his arms forming a protective cocoon around you, fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back. the rise and fall of his chest against your back mirrored the rhythm of shared breaths, creating a serene melody.

it wasn't just the physical closeness; it was the profound sense of being seen and held, a silent promise that in his arms, you were cherished and safe.

a few minutes had passed when you felt keegan sitting up, you as well on his lap, making you pout “don’t make that face” he said condescending “i need to clean you up yeah?”

keegan carried you all the way down your bathroom, again, still inside you, and seated you on the counter. he took a really long look to your breasts. such beautiful breasts just sitting there, making him want to hold them again.

“enjoying the view” you said in a proud tone, keegan just moved his eyes to your face and laid a small kiss to your cheek. you started feeling how keegan slid his now soft cock out your cunt, once it was all out, he just stayed there, looking at both your cunt and his cock “look at the mess you made love”

his cock was full of his cum, and yours, you felt all his cum slide out of your cunt, now on the counter, the sight making keegan’s cock start hardening again, and you saw that as well.

you just stared at him, beautiful doe eyes, and grabbed his cock. “can’t get tired of this cock huh?” you just smiled, stood up, and dragged him to the shower. that was the best shower sex you’ve ever had.

after the shower, keegan was behind you like a lost puppy, just wanting to be near you, touching your waist, squishing it, as well as your bum, all while you were doing your small skin care.

and on bed? keegan was even more cuddly than you! he said, scratch that, obliged you to be the little spoon. now you had his beautiful face right next to you, his hand drawing small circles in your waist, going near your breasts to tease you, your legs tangled beneath the sheets. you could get used to this.

“so, for how long have i driven you crazy?” keegan heard the cheekiness in your voice, you probably knew keegan was head over heels for you, acting all dumb to torture him, making keegan groan behind you “i’m going to keep it with for a while”

you laughed, putting your hands on top of the one that was on your waist, dragging it near your lips, planting a soft kiss there. when you kissed his hand, an unexpected tenderness surged within him, like a flood of warmth.

in response, he hid his face against your neck, as if to shield himself from the cascade of emotions, laying a few kisses here and there. you really could get used to this.

♡

AHHHHHH the end ;’[ i love fluff, was deciding if splitting this into chapters but i got carried away and made it a one shot jiji

hope u liked it!

[its-in-the-woods]

Chapter 2 of down the rabbit hole

Chapter one here chap three

MDNI

Pairing: Walton Goggins x You

Rating: Not much for this, brief mention of SA, mention of alcohol.

Slow build like novel damn length okay, Very Fluffy, Pinch of Angst, Relationship Development, Hurt/Comfort, Older man/ Younger(30s) women, Alternative universe, fictional work (IDK WHY BUT I AM PUTTING IT) Probably more as I go.

Synopsis: Working in film as a make-up artist is hard enough, but then Walton Goggins requests you, well it's way too easy to fall down the rabbit hole.

Note: they are both single, all for fun.

WARNING I do not have this all written out, I do have it plotted out, but it may be a little slower for chapters to come out. Please bear with me. If you know a Beta to edit please send them to me.

*Before we get into things. Thank you 100x for all the love. It means the world to me*

Somehow four weeks have slipped by. As always, TV series runs like a machine on fire while driving through a snowstorm. Long days, and even longer nights. You wonder briefly why you chose a profession that meant you average four to five hours of sleep. But then Walton brings the whole trailer their favorite coffee and you just shrug the thought off. Working with the cast and crew was like being in one big dysfunctional family. One part hated each other, one part was fucking each other, and another part just held on for the ride. You liked to think you were in the last group, but sometimes when you caught Liz glowering at you, you wondered if maybe you were in the first group. 

“Why does she hate me?” You ask Trevor as you try to eat lunch. Fish wasn’t your first choice but it’s what they had had. 

“Who?” Trevor asks, munching on some strawberries, how the man ate as much as he did and remained tiny was amazing. 

“Liz.” You sigh moving your fork around the plate.

“Liz hates everyone, don’t take it personally.” He grabbed a couple more pieces of fruit. 

“Have you seen the way she looks at me? Like, why bring me onboard if she was just gonna avoid me like the plague?”

“She’s jealous of you.”

You turn and raise your eyebrows at him. “What are you talking about?”

Trevor lets out a snort and chomps down on some cheese. “Girl. Don’t play down your talents. You have worked your damn ass off to get here. One of the best makeup artists out there and Liz knows it. Why do you think Mr. Goggins likes you so much?”

You shrug and pick through your food, the fish was not sitting particularly well. “I am not better than anyone else.”

Trevor swats at you playfully, “Shut up. You can wrangle through asshole actors like no one else. You take zero shit from anyone and you get stuff done on time or before they are needed. You’ll be one of the most valued artists in town in no time.” He chuckles and pushes his own plate away. “Just make sure you bring me along with you.”

You grin back at him. Trevor had never jerked you around like most others. He was right, you did a good job and people appreciated your blatant lack of kiss assery. You fiddle with your fork for a moment before deciding that you had enough for the day. 

***

It was Thursday, which meant the week was almost over. The end was in sight and your bed was calling your name. You’d probably sleep the weekend away and indulge in some overpriced Chinese food. Your thoughts about sweet and sour pork are broken when someone announces they are coming in. Liz walks in and looks you up and down. Dear god, that woman has a chip on her shoulder. She went and pulled out a couple of empty totes. 

“It’s going to be you and Trevor tomorrow and the following week.” She says her lips pressed firmly together, as she talks she goes through drawers grabbing different products.  “Walton is here doing some scenes, Laura will also be here but she shouldn’t be on camera. If she is, I've emailed you notes and pictures.”

You nod, not bothering to look at her as you continue to wash your brushes. Liz continued to add to her bin.  “Sounds good.”

“Look, I know we haven’t been exactly- Friendly.” You turn to look at the woman, she is putting the lid on to the tote. Writing info on a sheet of paper on the top. “But, you do a good job. The director has been very happy with everything. “

“Thank you.” You reply, giving her a small smile. “I appreciate that Liz.”

Liz nods back at you and grabs the tote, waddling out the door. It’s probably the closest you’ve come to liking her. You sit there for a moment, taking in the compliment, maybe things are changing for the better. 

***

Friday is here, and you decided to bring some timbits to celebrate the end of the week. The usually bustling studio lot was quiet. Construction and Set Dec had busied themselves with various other needs. It was refreshing to have a little quiet. You had even been able to park your car right beside the trailer. As much as you loved the absolute chaos that was a film set, the calm was a nice balm. You knew that before long you would miss the chaos, and it would be back with vengeance. 

Laying things out you felt like you could breathe. You had put on some gothic country on the stero, something that only you and Trevor really enjoyed. Both of you had moved from rural areas to do your job. It was another reason why you enjoyed his company. Trevor had set himself up on the second workspace, the two of you spreading out a little while the boss was away. 

“Hello. Lady and gentleman,” Walton’s voice shrill as he came up the stairs. The man was a never-ending ball of energy. You were positive you could do a month of night shooting and he still would come in chipper as if it was his first day. 

“Hey Walt,” Trevor said with a grin, it was hard not to be happy around the man.

“Excited for the weekend?” You ask as you drape him with a cape, popping off his sunglasses and grabbing his other glasses off the counter. As he rereads some lines. 

“I sure am. It feels like it’s been an extra long week.” He sighed, rubbing at his hazel eyes before grabbing a timbit. “These things are delicious, I am going to steal the whole box..” 

You slap playfully at his hand.“Hey now! Make sure I get a few” He gives you a crooked smile and holds one up. You don’t hesitate to lean forward and let him feed it to you. He swallows and looks up at you, as the realization dawns on you as to what you just did. 

“Well-Umm- Next week doesn’t look to bad,” Trevor pipes, shooting you a look, his voice squeaking slightly.

“This is true, just the three of us enjoying a few short days,” Walton says, you are desperately trying to move past what just happened as you grab a moisturizer and apply it gently. His eyes follow you.

“I can certainly say I will enjoy not having to drive all over the place.” You reply, trying not to let your cheeks flush. Reminding yourself sternly that you were a professional and for Pete’s sake you’d been working together for over a month now. 

“You have the craziest eyes.” He whispers as the two of you look at each other. There is no way of hiding the fact your cheeks are burning. Trevor graciously comes over and starts to fuss with his hair. 

“Thank you,” You reply, words caught in your throat. Turning to start packing your set bag, anything to hide the fact that you were bright red. You look up to see Trevor raising his eyebrows at you. You look away and finish things up before sending Walton off to set.

“What was that?” Trevor drawled as he slid into the chair, the look on his face made you want to crawl under the counter. 

“What was what?” You try to dismiss things even if your face is on fire. What the hell had just happened?

“He just fed you a damn donut hole and you are blushing all over Goggins?” Trevor pushes fiddling with a comb, and you really want to throw something at him. 

You freeze a bit and look up at him in the mirror. “Don’t do that.” 

“Do what? See the fact that you two have been goggling over each other for the last four weeks. You just ate food out of his fingers. Wait what does he taste good?’

You do throw a powder puff at him. “You. You stop it. I don’t know what the hell I was doing. It just kind of happened.” 

Yes, you had noticed the little things, but really the man was friendly with everyone. He had always been touchy-feely, but maybe there had been more that you had missed, including eating food out of his fingers. You remember him kissing you on the cheek yesterday morning before leaving. But there couldn’t be anything there, there was nothing there you repeated to yourself. 

“Oh give me a break. He brings you coffee and touches, and kisses your cheek every day. The man has been fawning all over you.”

You bite your lip and turn to look at your colleague, ‘He does that with everyone, Trevor. He’s just friendly.”

You’re now madly stuffing stuff into your bag trying to get out of this newly warm trailer. Trevor snorts and puts his things into his bag. You wish he would drop it, but he was never good at leaving things alone. 

“You keep telling yourself that, sweetheart,” He giggles in an imitation Southern drawl. The two of you hop out of the trailer. You aren’t sure whether to smack him or hug him, either way, there is a job to be done. 

***

It was a textbook day, Walton had nailed almost everything. The man could act there was no doubt about that. The character was a belligerent drunk detective trying to solve a cold case. The script was dark, moody, and well horrible. You didn’t shy away from horror, but true crime always made your stomach flipflop. Your stomach also flipped as you watched Walton go from looking like he was gonna bite someone's head off, to all smiles and laughter. 

You, Trevor, and Walton are walking back to the trailer together. It was actually sunny out, a rare moment for the Pacific Northwest. Costumes had been busy with some extras so you decided to start with him and finish with the others. 

“So do you two have any plans for the weekend?” Walton asks, walking in between both of you.

“I think I might have a date on Saturday,” Trevor replied cheerfully. 

“Oooh and who's the lucky fella?” Walton sing-songed.

Trevor looked flush for a moment, “Decon, from props actually.”

Walton chuckles elbowing Trevor “Well that sounds like an excellent Saturday. Man is gonna have some fun.”

Trevor shakes their head and rolls his eyes “He better show or I am going to have to send you both after him”

Walton bares his teeth and growls, which send everyone into a fit of giggles. Decon be aware, there was a madman coming for you. You thought as you get to the trailer opening the door.

“And what about you, little lady,” Walton drawls, that damn southern accent creeping in. 

“Nothing special. Think sleep and Chinese food are calling my name.” You reply as everyone settles in. Really that would be the best way to end the weekend. 

“Oh, Chinese food sounds amazing.” Trevor pipes in, turning on some tunes. 

“Who needs sleep, it's not that important.” Walton chides as you get to work. “I was wondering if you both would like to come to a small bar not far from here. Transport can drive us there and back, a few of us are getting together for some drinks.”

You catch Trevor's gaze, a sly smile spreading across his face. “Oh, I would love that! Little get-together with our mess of a family.”

“What about you?” The lead asks, rubbing your arm. His hands are warm, you’re surprised to feel a few calluses on his fingers. 

“Oh. Yeah sure. That would be good.” You give a small smile, trying not to let your mind wander too far. If you were honest, the prospect of getting together with a bunch of coworkers was low on your want list. But the look on Trevor's face tells you that you aren't allowed to say no. Your stomach clenches as the memory of a wrap party gone wrong rumbles past your mind. You push that down. It had been almost seven years since that happened, these were different people. People you knew and trusted.

“Fantastic, I am excited to have you both there,” Walton exclaims before closing his eyes to let you finish your job. 

Once Walton is released to Costume, you and Trevor busy yourself with cleaning the trailer. Getting extras cleaned up and making sure everything is ready for the early morning come Monday. You can tell Trevor has been watching you but you can't make yourself say anything. Anxiety has pooled in your stomach like a cold stone and you are struggling to shake it.

“What's wrong?” Trevor asks bluntly sitting down in a free chair. You shake your head and keep your hands moving.

“Come on now. I've never seen you get this clammed up over an invitation to a party. To be fair I've actually never seen you go to a party–” Trevor’s words trail off realization washing over his face. “I know you like your peace, and quiet, but what is going on”

You collapse into the other chair with a deep sigh. Trying to find the words, you really didn't want to explain things too much. That said if there was anyone who'd understand it be Trevor.

“When I first got into the industry.” Your mouth feels so dry even at the thought of it. You grab your water bottle taking a swig.“I went to a wrap party. Got drunk and a guy from Sound took advantage of me. So I've never gone to one since.”

Trevor looks shocked, sadness creeping in at the words. “Hon.That is awful.”

“It happened almost a decade ago. It's fine. Just makes me nervous.” You let out a breath. You weren't going for sympathy, despite it being the worst night of your life, all you wanted was understanding.

Trevor comes over and gives you a big hug. You feel tears prickle in the corner of your eyes. As you let yourself sag against him. You were so thankful for this man, that he was understanding and seemed to care about you. 

“Honey, nothing like that is gonna happen to you tonight. We'll go together and enjoy ourselves. And if any man or woman tries to hurt you I will beat them with my handbag” Trevor reassures you with a small smile. You both chuckle at the last statement 

You sniffle a little, grabbing a tissue from the counter to dab at your eyes. “Thank you, Trevor”

He gives you a reassuring nod as you both get ready to go out. You were determined to make it a good night one way or another. 

Chapter three

Maybe.. maybe.. I will post the next chapter tomorrow cause I am too excited not to share it. Likes, comments, and reblogs are so greatly appreciated. Y'all keep this northern person happy.

[goldfish-afterhours]

Genshin Characters During Finals Season (College AU)

Characters: Zhongli, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Albedo, Bennett, Childe, Kaeya

Type/Genre: Bulleted headcanons, comedy

Warnings: Foul language, slightly suggestive humour/for comedic purposes

Zhongli

Calm and collected at first

As the days go by, Zhongli would start looking more and more like a tired dad

Walks around slightly frowning, bags under his eyes from all nighters, and clutching a mug of coffee so hard that people are afraid it’s gonna break, but even more afraid to tell him to be careful

Has heat compresses on the back of his neck and forehead to ease the headaches from the lack of sleep

Probably told Childe to shut the fuck up and mind your own business when he warned him about his cup

“Childe, if I do not kill this final I will kill you in its stead. Leave me be.”

Thoma

Probably part of one of those student care organizations that makes care packages for other students

His smile when he hands out the packages is so bright and healing it could bring back the dead

Always motivating his peers and tries to keep everyone’s spirits up

Offers to get everyone in the study group coffee

He’s not the best at school but he has a lot of friends that are willing to tutor him and do his assignments help him with his work

Likes to snack while he’s studying

“No giving up yet! Let’s take a snack break, you’ll think better with something in your belly.”

Venti

Chills at a coffee shop with a big friend group to “study”

They do jack shit

Probably spends more time staring at the drink menu than his exam notes

Grade A procrastinator, does all his homework the night before it’s due and studies for exams the morning of

Due tomorrow do tomorrow amiright

Always seems to do okay tho?? People wanna scold him for his bad study habits but he actually does okay in school so they can’t really say anything

Doesn’t study hard but parties 100x harder

“Come on, live a little! If your exam is at 2pm, you can just start studying at 9 tomorrow morning and you’ll be fine.”

Xiao

Pulls all nighter after all nighter after all nighter after all nighter after-

No one can ever find him during the day on campus or in his dorm—it’s like he despawned and just does not exist

Only time he is spotted by others is always at 3am in the morning like a cryptid and he looks like a zombie

He’s actually working a part time job along with going to classes and helping others with their work. An angry looking good boy.

Studies in the lecture halls by himself, blasting music as loud as he can on his headphones to keep himself awake

Mf going to go deaf is2g lower ur volume boi

“…hey. I’m getting a coffee, do you want one?”

Albedo

Plans his time meticulously. Has an extremely organized planner where he writes out exactly what he’s going to do at every hour of the day so he can maximize his week

Includes mealtimes, breaks, and poop times relaxation periods

Usually studies in his room, but for some reason people keep barging in on him to ask for study help so he has to find different hiding places to work in peace

So far, the best place has been the graduate students lounge. No he does not belong there, but no one questions him because it looks like he does

“If you really need my help, I have twenty seven and a half minutes between lunch and my bathroom break this Thursday. Come find me then.”

(Rejected quote: “What’s my masters in? No no, the only thing I’m a master of is your mom.”)

Bennett

The type of person to have the “please don’t talk to me I have work to do and if you talk to me I won’t stop” sign on his back while working in the library

Fell asleep while completing an assignment

Missed the midnight deadline for said assignment

Slept through the exam the next morning

At this point just let him sleep at least he won’t have to deal with it then

“That was a good nap…now I got the energy for my assignment and the exam!”

Childe

Would be a good student if he wasn’t bothering other people so often

Probably bakes when he’s stressed. His roommates are always awoken at 4 in the morning to the sound of the oven beeping and the heavenly smell of freshly baked cookies

Has a friendly rivalry with Zhongli. He always asks when Zhongli will be turning in an assignment, and what mark he’s aiming for for the final exam

Turns in the final paper at least a week before it’s due and aims for ten percent higher than Zhongli on the exam

If he needs bonus marks to reach that then so be it

Otherwise slacks off a bit

He’d be a really good student if he wasn’t so competitive with Zhongli all the time

“You good, Zhongles? You trying to squeeze a better grade out of that mug?”

Kaeya

This man probably used red bull as the liquid for his instant coffee

An absolute menace and loves messing with people

Tells them that the exam is on a whole other different thing than what they were studying for, or that the due date of a big assignment was changed

Nobody goes to him for help

If you do genuinely need help with a concept, though, he’s more than willing to help

Just make sure to provide adequate compensation for him ;)

By compensation I mean more red bull this man has drank 3 cans in ten minutes please stop him

“What? If they do shit, that only helps with our bellcurve, right? Their fault for trusting me anyways~”

[spinecurlingmice]

mice i’ve started mmj’s storyline! only done the opening so far but. character with horrible luck but a positive outlook…. hoping for a better tomorrow….. a sekai with a clover motif…… this is all seeming awfully familiar so far

MARS. BITES TH FINGERS UR PUTTNG THRU THE CAGE KENEL CLEAM OFF. I have thought abt minori nagito interactions and they'd be funny. girl don't let them meet here comes nuclear war. nagito sees her (girl)friends and is like wow ur life is so incredibly nice and ur message is amazijf! and minori is wide eyed dry heavinf gasping. also. clingyyyy..m.. clingy clingy. mars ure eliciting a crazy response in me these 2 freakazoids r some of my favs evr im going to explode into 4 million poeves do i k ow how hsrd it is to tupe on mobile AHHHHHH. I NEED TO DRAQ THEM CLOTHINF SWAPPED. gahh... hrhahggh graggh starts ripoing my fucminf hair ouf.. theyd fall into eachother and to "ahhh im s sorry my horrible luck-" and pause with wide eyed stares. kings queens of fallinf over flat on their faces. god so mot even get me started on the clovers mars d not mention it this js like a saw trap and im about to die. HODM minoris clover being cuter and simple, a field of flowers. you have to have hope for a btter day, because evn through bad things there is always a sun. nsgitos has alway felt more realism to me. th last survivor of a burned forest. you have to have hope, even if it destroys you, because nothinf waits for you without it, better off dead without it. nagito is minoris traits turned up to 100x with tje trauma thay pushed it. to think they couldve been in a similar boat if nagitos life was jjst a bit better or minoris was a bit worse. God....

.i love minori so bad just wait until she gets real faggot in the studio. they're lowkey really similar . I WONT SPOIL. however. 😵‍💫 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 trick question who said they wanna bring hope to the world. and hey. she gets super fagot I already said that. but. looks around.... she's lowkey 24.7 nagito 5th fteing all over forever. she really should've had an aishititeru maybe she did but I don'tknow its been like a year since I watched mmj main story and also ots kinda hard to pick it put when i don't wait on the voixelines just click when im done reading so lol.

more more!!! bur turn it twisted for nagito.. More, more. it's desperate not positive not a pick me up or an inspo it is a last chance with bloodied fingers. god. hey this this this. this made me crazy okay... okay... looks away ..uhmmmmmm.... sorgy....... hangs my head as I walk away with the crazy badge stuc right to my forehead. me when my fav chars are parallels to eachother.... and it makes me get rabies. anyway i hope u like minori ^w^ she is fun!!!

[bonesandthebees]

We both so productive fr

Actually butter on bread does sound super good I'll make some of that

Yay for pilates! I would love to take a class for that, so I'm super excited for you! I feel the being sore thing lmao, hope the next class goes well

Also I fucking love pie so that's sounds wonderful

we are both so productive!!

yes butter on bread honestly slaps I hope you enjoy it

technically I'm not taking a traditional pilates class but it's like a variation/spin off of it that's actually like. way higher intensity. so yeah I am so sore and I only did a super light intro class. I am scared for tomorrow (but excited too)

here's a pic of a slice of the pie I ate yesterday

every part of the pie is made from scratch. the crust, the filling, the whipped cream—also for the love of god making your own whipped cream is so easy and like 100x better than canned whipped cream if you have the option to make your own whipped cream for a dessert just do it I promise you won't regret it

the crust... leaves a bit to be desired. while I was making the dough I ran out of all purpose flour (I needed 2 and a half cups and only had 1 and a half) so I had to use a cup of bread flour to substitute, which has a higher gluten content so it made the pie crust a bit tougher than it should be. it still tastes fine but yeah next time I will double check my flour stock before I start making pie crust

[yourfavepookiebear]

Ughhhh I hate my mom so much she's so fucking annoying

So now I'm sick, AND I'm on my period too.

AGAIN last time she sent me to school a few days ago while I was still sick (still am) and they sent me back home because I kept coughing and they said that i shouldn't come back until I'm fully healed

NOW AGAIN she wants to send me to school tomorrow. I'm going fucking crazy. My health hasn't changed, it hasn't gotten any better, no matter how many medicines I take my state stays the same

I asked her why I can't just stay at home tomorrow and she said "oh but you've you've absent for 2 weeks already, if you don't come for a third week they'll lower your grades" and it hurt because she's basically saying "school matters more than your health does"

Is this bitch serious ? I genuinely wanted to scream and cry and slap her in the face (exaggerating), I felt the last bits of my sanity crumble away like wtf..

I'm still sick. Is it MY FUCKING FAULT IM SICK ??????? WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO PRIORITIZE SCHOOL OVER MY OWN HEALTH AND WELL-BEING ????

Not only did she refuse to take me to the doctor this whole time. Can you believe it ? Never have i ever gone to the doctor because i was sick, not when I had a cold, not when I had the flu, not even when I had covid. Why ? Because my mom thinks doctors are useless. IS THIS BITCH FUCKING INSANE ?????? IS SHE TRYING TO KILL ME OR SUM-

They already sent me back once, AND THEY'RE GONNA DO IT TWICE TOO. How many times will be enough to make my mom understand that I'm not healthy enough to go to school ?

Honestly I'm 100% sure my cause of death will be the ignorance of my own biological mother. She's so irritating.

Not only that but I'm also on my period, so it's 100x worse. Sickness + cramps + extreme fatigue + excessive coughing + body pain + soreness + bloating don't make a good combo and guess what ? Tomorrow is the second day of my period. Great, just great, motherfucking awesome.

Oh and on top of that I ran out of painkillers, I ate them all last week because my body and throat hurt. Wow. Fucking awesome

[ikamigami]

This episode had everything I wanted to see if Moon would find out about hallucinations!

Seriously. I'm not kidding. I wanted for Moon to act the way he did in today's episode. But at the time I was thinking about this type of scenario Moon still had his memories. So I couldn't imagine how it would be or if it worked with how Old Moon used to be. So I was scared of this.

But New Moon is 100x times better than Old Moon! @garbagechocolate you were right by believing in him.

I'm so glad! It makes me feel less anxious about Sun's future. Sure, he still will have hallucinations and it'll take a lot of time for him to heal.. but for the first time.. I'm not scared for how Sun's story will end.

Before I'll say more about this episode, I want to thank Davis and Reed for amazing work they're putting into this show. And I need to thank them for today's episode. Whenever I watch an episode of this show, I feel like they know how I feel or as if they knew me. This show is amazing! I can't express properly how much this show means to me.

Now, let's talk about what happened in today's episode. Sun has zero self preservation... which isn't surprising considering that he's suicidal.

Sun didn't want to talk about his issues even if Moon heard him talking to the air. Who could've thought? /s

Moon saying "of course it would affect me cause you're my brother" and trying to hug him was something I wanted to see for so long.

Sun was scared of Moon's reaction! My meme became reality (I'm impressed how quickly it was proved in the show though) 👀

Moon said that he'll help Sun rest and be with him in the worst 🥹 I love New Moon! Old Moon would probably act like a jerk "because he had it worse". 🙄

I'm curious if Sun will tell Moon about "the catalyst" thing 👀⁉️

And I would love for Sun to have hallucination of Lunar when Moon is with him! I think that would be epic!

I can't wait for what will happen next! Will tomorrow be a gaming video or maybe another lore episode? And then next will be July 16th!

But I'm curious what is Eclipse up to? Because I have a feeling that he might try to do something 🤔

Ah... I forgot about creator 🥱 He turned out to be the one who did that whole "ruin virus" thing 🙄 I hope that our boys will beat up this stupid floating brain-fart. I can't wait for the day when he'll die 😊

Anyway, I'm so glad that New Moon will help Sun and he and Earth will take good care of Sun!

[mysticficti0n]

At long last

Warnings- fluffy, swearing, mentions of drugs, romance, part them drunk (thats all I think) words- 3480 N/A- Hey guys this is my first Ryan Dunn fic and I don't know how to feel, I feel part of it is good but others not much but I wrote it literally all day, so enjoy ♥︎

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

"dude just ask her out!" Bam whined poking at his best friend who just sulked onto the sofa "whats the worst that'll happen?"

"she says no and I've ruined a relationship I've had since I was 14 years old- thats the worst that can happen" he huffed playing with his watch, Ryan wasn't usually that nervous about girls and romance but something about asking his long time friend out scared him shitless "plus she wouldn't wanna be with me anyways I'm a fucking ass" Bam rolled his eyes, Bam knew his friend was a wuss, but he though he'd have the balls for this, it was Y/n for gods sake not like they've never met before 

"look man we are all going out tomorrow so why not just ask her out to dinner? thats not going 'BE MY GIRLFRIEND' its kinda... breaking the ice, even though you've know her for 10 years" his friend laughed at the words coming from his own mouth "10 years and you're fucking scared!"

"yes 10-fucking-years so it is a big deal! me asking her to dinner could sound sketchy I mean come on the girl knows stuff I do before I do!" Ryan covered his face with his hands and groaned erring a slap on the head from Bam

"you need to stop being such a pussy" the brown hair boy spat walking out the room to who knows where leaving Ryan to his own thoughts which only made him feel 100x worse, but he did realise Bam was right he needed to stop being a pussy about it, he's been in love with Y/n since they were in high school but never said anything to anyone... until one night at a party were he drunkly told Bam who hadn't forgot 

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅Flashback⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

"Oh dude Y/n's over there!" Bam called pointing to her, god she looked stunning, the red dress hugged her body perfectly

"she looks beautiful" Ryan whispered, eyes struggling to tare away from the girl as she laughed grabbing a drink with another girl but she wasn't a scratch on her 

"you like her or something?" Bam asked turning back to his friend 

"yeah man, she's fucking gorgeous how could I not like her!" Ryan hadn't realised the words that came out but he did feel somewhat relieved. The night carried on, nu metal music blaring through the house they were in and people screaming and shouting everywhere 

"Hey Bam!" a voice that Ryan knew all to well spoke "How are ya? sorry I was gonna come over but Kayce caught me, Kayce come meet Bam!" he looked up to see Y/n the same red dress but he could see every detail on if now, lace and red sequins embezzled down the length, rings and bracelets decorated her hands and wrists, chunky black heals with a gold clasp "Hey Ry!" she called 

"how you doin' doll" Ryan spoke getting a laugh from the girl 

"weirdo! I'm good, you?" she side hugged him and his hands settled on her hips "you look nice by the way, is that the shirt my mom bought you for Christmas?" she asked stroking his chest 

"I'm better now you're here and yeah it is, it matches your dress" he smiled down at he girl who's Y/E/C eyes were already on his 

"I feel sexy in this dress, Marcus called me a whore when I wore it" she sulked, Marcus was her ex-boyfriend, evil bastard he was but thanks to Ryan and Novak she didn't need to worry anymore 

"I bet Dunny boy finds you ravishing in it Y/N/N" Bam laughed tapping her shoulder getting a death glare from his best friend "sorry sweetheart!" he blew a kiss to his friend and walked away again 

"don't listen to him" the blonde spat "dickhead"

"do I not look ravishing Ry?" Y/n spoke jokingly swirling her hair around her finger, if he could Ryan would get on his knees then and there and tell her how good she looked, Jesus Christ he'd worship the women, but he had to keep himself from doing so...

"you- you look beautiful Y/n" she blushed pressing a kiss to his cheek

"thanks Dunn"

Bam saw the interaction and knew one day he'd be a uncle to their child, it was disgustingly obvious the two liked each other but he also knew neither would say a thing "fucking pansies"

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅ reality ⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

The next day came round quicker than Ryan could think, he grabbed blue jeans and a white shirt, his wallet, cigarettes, lighter, phone and car keys "BAM COME ON WE'VE GOTTA GO!" Ryan shouted hearing footsteps quickening down the hall and Bam stood with a CKY shirt on and baggy shorts "come on I told Y/n I'd pick her up Dico's already at hers" 

"oooh think they fucked?" Bam pushed getting a slap "someones jealous"

"fuck off" Ryan stormed walking out the door to his car, the engine began and the two sped off to Y/n's house, luckily it wasn't to far so in five minuets Ryan was knocking her door "Y/N HURRY UP! GET DICO OUT HERE" he began to pound the door which was opened at the end of his sentence

"Ryan Dunn! will you cut it out bloody hell!" her mom Vicky warned making him laugh 

"sorry why is she taking forever though!" she rolled her eyes 

"I don't know hun- oh and Dico isn't here he went with Chris" Ryan nodded leaning up the door "what are you doing today? CKY things?"

"I think so, we found this abandoned rail way thing so were checking that out and Y/n wanted to come" she smiled 

"why don't you go up and grab her knowing my daughter she's either still doing her eyeliner or still finding what to wear" Ryan laughed pressing a kiss to the older women's cheek and jumped up the stairs, he went down to the door with the sign 'Y/n's room' and stood outside 

"well I don't know... what if- yes Jessica I know but what if I doesn't go right.... I'm not scared... he'll be there! you don't know what you're fucking talking about... fuck off Jessi" he herd a click from the room and a furious groan "Stupid fucking bitch can't listen to a single fucking thing I fucking say I swear to god I'm gonna fucking kill that whore-" the words kept spilling out before Ryan decided to knock the door "Yeah?" he twisted the doorknob and walked in to see Y/n, black tube top, blue low waisted jeans held up by a studded belt and her belly piercing jewel shining in the light, a cross necklace hung from her neck and her make up looked- goddess like- smokey eye, red glossed lips accompanied by her nose-ring "oh hey Ry" her voice sounded happier than before

"what was all that about?" he asked leaning on her closet "thought you and Jessica were friends" she rolled her eyes 

"so did I until now... it doesn't matter though, ready to go?" Ryan was concerned about the girl, she wasn't one to usually be in a mood or angry but he brushed it off as in fairness they needed to go "you look nice by the way" she complemented going past him out the door to grab her hoodie

"thanks I'm liking the absolute no coordination between us, you look like Bam if he was a girl and I look like a basic white man" she laughed at the boy coming out her room and closing the door "bye Vic, we will probs be back by like 9-10 o'clock ish and I'll drop her off" her mother nodded hugging Ryan then her daughter

"be safe you two and Y/n don't let you're father see you in a outfit like this, he'd kill you, zip your hoodie when you come home!" she warned 

"will do mom, see you later!" the two waved and ran to the car were Bam was sat with his eyes closed "so were are we going?"

"shit! you took your fucking time" he spat looking at the girl, Bam and Y/n were good friends, even went to prom together- now though they smoke weed, drink and skate together along with the others, but they fight like brother and sister most days

"fuck off I was busy- I take pride in how I look unlike some" he huffed, Ryan started the car again and made their way to the old rail way, luckily the roads were mostly empty so in quick time they made it, as there 3 got out they were met with Rake, Novak, Dico, Raab and Rake's sister Sophia "SOPHIA!" the girls ran to each other hugging and giggling about something, in which the boys thought they'd do the same 

"OH RAABY!" Bam kissed the boys cheek "TEHEHEHEHE" he said rather loud getting a 'ugh' from the girls the group decided to start going through the woods to the railway line

Y/n and Sophia stayed chatting toward the back of the group while all the boys were huddled together, Novak said it wasn't a long walk but then again Novak did crack so who was he to trust? Ryan didn't notice but he constantly kept checking over his shoulder to see Y/n which Bam found amusing seeing his friend so desperate to just have a glance at the girl 

"dude she isn't going to run off" he shoved at Ryan "you gonna ask her tonight?" 

"I don't know man she isn't in the greatest mood today and I don't want her to have extra stress on top of that and-" Bam waved his hands at the man cutting him off 

"Ry stop making excuses if you don't ask her today I will for you" panic rushed through the blonde 

"no don't do that" he whispered getting a smirk from him "Bam"

"hey Y/n!" Bam turned back to the two behind 

"Bam no fucks sake I'll do it, I'll do it!" Ryan shouted 

"yeah?" Y/n called looking confused

"you look like a whore" she gave the boy a thumbs up and went back to her conversation like nothing happened "you are a lucky man Dunn" 

after another half hour of walking the group finally got to the tracks, they were all decade and rotting, spray painted and worn "wow... glad we walked here to see this shit" Sophia crossed her arms "Novak you said this would be 'cool' its literally dead pieces of wood"

"sorry baby, it looked cooler last time I was here" he huffed "the view's good though, you can see west town over there and here is were I smoked pot with Nabi" everyone laughed 

"well I was meant to get my lip pierced.. now" Y/n spoke checking her phone "i'm thrilled we're doing this instead" Ryan watched the girl slump down to the floor and just stare into the sky, he felt bad and knew if she wasn't in a good mood before, she defiantly wasn't now 

"why don't we look round for stuff, there's gotta be something cool around" Dico spoke kicking sticks on the floor 

"yeah okay, lets go" Raab agreed and the group began to go back into the wood, Ryan looked back at Y/n, she just sat their and hugged her knees 

"I'll catch up in a sec" he yelled to the group who said their okays and carried on walking, he went back to the girl on the floor "what did Jessica say?" she looked up to him, her eyes had tears forming in the corners 

"she and Marcus are getting together... and she wouldn't listen to what I was saying about him that he's not a nice person! and she kept saying shit about the guy I like and all I was doing was looking out for her" she whimpered wiping her eyes "Marcus nearly fucking killed me- emotionally but still, everything he did to me he'll do to Jessi and I just want her to be okay" Ryan reached a hand to the girl and pulled her up into a tight hug, letting her get it all out her system on his shoulder, he knew this is what she needed, just to talk... he had an idea 

"do you wanna go? I can call Bam and we can go out for lunch, just me and you?" her eyes met with his brown ones and nodded "okay, lets go" His hand instinctively went to hers to which she gladly excepted, with his free hand he pulled his phone out and called bam 

"yeah?" he answered

"me and Y/n are going to get lunch-"

"use protection!" Bam snickered 

"get fucked" Ryan ended the call and put the phone back in his pocket 

after an extremely long walk they finally made it back to the car which was warm due to the West Chester summer  heat "what do you want to eat?" he asked starting the engine 

"italian" 

"Limoncello sound good?" she nodded and the two set off back to town listening to the random songs the radio played "besides the whole Jessi thing, how are you?"  she laughed

"I'm good, I mean wish I could've got my lip pierced but I'm getting a free dinner at Limoncello so I'm not complaining" Ryan looked to the girl

"free?" she nodded "who said it's free?"

"me I forgot my purse, thanks babe for paying" she laughed rubbing his chin "I'll give you the money don't worry" Ryan shook his head 

"its a treat... date even" he blushed slightly seeing a smile spread across her face

"was this a big elaborate plan to get me on a date with you Ry?" her eyes seemed drowsy in his, Y/n's hand combed back his hair 

"maybe but it wasn't huge, more last minuet... would you be annoyed if it was?" the Y/H/C haired girl shook her head "good" he smiled 

after another 10 minuets they made it to the restaurant which wasn't to busy, they walked in and waited to be seated by their server "okay here we are, can I get you any drinks?" the man asked looking toward the table

"Stella for me" he nodded and looked towards the girl 

"and for you darling" Ryan felt him self become tense at the word 'darling' who did he think he was talking to?

"cosmopolitan please" she grinned up to the man

"of course, have that to you soon" he walked away and Y/n looked back to Ryan

"you okay?" he nodded "you look angry"

"I'm fine, anyways we were saying about Marcus and Jessica" she nodded explaining her story, Ryan could've listened to her voice for ever go on and on about anything

"and she said he said he could do so much better than me and called me a tramp!" Y/n said angrily slamming her hands on the table 

"well- you could do much better than that lanky red head anyways he was a dick to you" she nodded bringing her drink to her lips "actually didn't you say she was making fun of the guy you liked earlier" Ryan spoke inquisitively 

"yeah what about it?" 

"who do you like?" he cooed to her making her giggle at the childishness of her friend "do I know them?"

"Ryan we're 24 and 23 not in 9th grade why do you wanna know so bad" Y/n smiled 

"because I wanna know if my best friend has good taste in men" she furrowed her brows "Please Y/n" he begged 

"its embarrassing" she spoke trying to escape the conversation "lets just order food" her eyes scanned for a waiter or someone but her face was pulled back- literally- Ryans hand cupped her chin and made sure she couldn't get out of his grip "Ry-"

"you can tell me Y/n, I wont be mean or judge or anything" she sighed seeing a smile grow across his face she played with the idea of actually telling him but it kind of fell out

"it's you Ryan"

Ryan felt his heart jump into a halt... him? no she has to be joking he thought "what?" is all that came out with a laugh

"I like you- like a lot and have for ages...yeah laugh it up" confidence grew in the girl as she spoke "and I get if you don't feel the same its totally fine" she blabbered on as her speechless friend just sat listening "I mean we've been friends for 10 years and this is crazy" 

Ryan knew he could now let his feeling be free "I like you too, so much I've just never had the balls to say it to you" her eyes widened and so did her smile "since we were kids I've always thought you were beautiful then after High school I just fell even more for you" the two's eyes locked together and they seemed the only person in the world to each other, everything was silent besides the one talking 

"so you're fully serious" she asked hoping it wasn't one of Ryans many pranks 

"deadly"

the two ate dinner in near silence besides a few thank you's and hums of delight, underneath the covered table Y/n intertwined her legs with his and using her foot rubbed his leg reassuringly, Ryan paid the bill and got up offering his hand to the girl, they walked out to see the street lamps illuminating the Barron streets 

"thank you for dinner" Y/n gleamed up to the boy who was just a bit taller than her 

"no problem, we should do it again" he smirked leading her back to the car, as the two climbed in and set off again Ryan tipped a few mints into his mouth and Y/n did the same "so home?" she nodded.... through out the drive Ryan's hand went from the wheel to her hand and then her inner thigh giving Y/n butterflies every time his finger tapped along to the song playing in the background

The car pulled into her street which Y/n internally sighed as she didn't want to leave Ryan after the night they had, they came to a stop in front of her house which was dimly lit from the inside "I'll walk you up" Ry spoke letting go of the girl who now felt cold, he came over and opened the door giving his hand once again 

"such a gentleman" she laughed seeing a redness appear on his face, she got out and lent against the car "thank you for tonight Ry, I loved it" 

"I'm glad... tonight didn't go how I expected honestly, but I'm glad it did... sorry that felt like a shit way of saying it- I'm bad at these things" he grinned dopily, he knew it was time to say goodnight to her but he couldn't let go of her "ready?" he asked she nodded solemnly and they begun up the drive to the front door with every step it meant the night was coming to a end... he didn't want to let go of her hand, it felt so right in his, the pair got just before her front door and sighed "Thanks for today Y/n"

"no thank you- again- I didn't think we'd ever do this either but I really enjoyed it" Y/n nervously bit her bottom lip, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she gazed up into Ryan's warm eyes. the night slipped away, there was still one thing that Y/n needed to do before saying goodbye though.

"Ryan," she whispered softly, her gaze flickering to his lips for a brief moment before meeting his eyes once more. "Can I... can I kiss you goodnight?"

Ryan's eyes widened in surprise, a warm smile spreading across his features as he took a step closer. "I was hoping you would ask that," he replied, his voice low and husky with a hint of anticipation.

Without another word, Y/n leaned up on her tiptoes, closing her eyes as Ryan's hands came to rest on her hips. For a moment, they simply stood there, drinking each other in as their lips brushed against each other in a tender, gentle kiss. It was soft, slow and filled with all the promises of what could be.

As they parted, Y/n looked up at him with a shy smile, a flush spreading across her cheeks. "Goodnight, Ryan," she whispered.

"Goodnight, Y/N," he replied, a sparkle in his eye. "Sweet dreams."

With one last lingering look, Y/n turned and walked into her house, her heart beating wildly in her chest. For a moment, she wondered if she had made the right choice but she knew that this was just the beginning of something truly special.

[softsky-daily]

11/4/2024

Vague shapes in the vast mass of cloud.

Positive thing: I maintained some incredible level of excitement I hadn't reached in a while.

Today... was a blur. I guess I'll start off saying I woke up nauseous as all get-out, so I ended up calling out on work. I felt bad about that since I've been doing that a lot lately, but I decided I wouldn't linger on that and instead really focus on making today fun and relaxing so I could feel better. And boy did I!

My friend a while ago had recommended the anime "My Happy Wedding," which is funny because they don't technically hold a wedding at all in the anime and it's actually got demons and magic and crazy stuff, anyway, I decided now was the time to go on a binge-watching session since it was only 12 episodes and I knew I could finish it within the afternoon. And it was really good. It's literally a fantasy about being fixed by a hot anime boy after you've been through trauma but they do it tastefully. And there's magic, yay! Really though, I liked their interpretation of someone learning to heal after abuse by finding healthy relationships (not just romantically, but with friends and chosen family).

Midway through I decided I should get some tea for my aching stomach (and also for a treat) so I went to a nearby cafe and got some white peach oolong tea. Hot. It was so good. Sweet and mellow and just the right amount of bitterness to really make the flavor linger in your mouth. And it made my nausea go away, so it did its job in that regard too. But what I didn't know is that oolong tea actually has a fair amount of caffeine, and I had gotten a pretty big size of it. I chugged the whole thing while watching the anime and to be honest I really don't know when the caffeine hit but it did. Oh my god. To be honest I'm still wired as hell and feel like I could bounce up to heaven in one big hop and high five an angel, and it's probably been 12 hours since I drank it.

Needless to say, in my heightened caffeine state everything got, like, 100x more likely to have an effect on me. I cried a lot during the anime and jumped up everywhere when it got exciting and then, and then, I decided to to rewatch nigehaji scenes and that got me so giddy it just carried the high even further, until I blinked and there was full handwritten essay about what I liked about nigehaji sitting in front of me.

It feels like there's a big cloud in my head and electricity is bouncing everywhere between my ears. Like I'm floating and I could be carried off by the wind at the smallest nudge. Like there's a drum in my chest and every beat is reverberating in every vein in my body. Is excited even the word for this?? I feel like my body is just a vessel for some wild thundercloud that I'm barely channeling to form coherent thoughts. It's fun though. I think. Honestly it's like I'm working through a thick fog but I guess because I'm in a heightened state, by default my brain is interpreting that as a good thing. I guess I'm enjoying it while I can?? I'm usually so exhausted I don't know what energy feels like anymore. Maybe this is just how everyone else feels normally? No way this can be sustainable, right?

Okay so I just did the math and based on what I looked up, I had about 180mg of caffeine. Good lord. I have caffeine sensitivity so that's extra overdoing it I think. It's a good thing I did fun things today and not anxiety-inducing things or I think I might've exploded from the heart palpitations alone.

Soo I guess now I have the Herculean task of trying to get to sleep tonight. I've had a lot of water all today even with the tea, but somehow it hasn't faded away at all yet. I already have insomnia so this'll be a fun challenge. Hopefully tomorrow I'm not absolutely dead from the caffeine crash, whenever sleep does happen.

It really was a good day though, whether despite or because of the caffeine. It's been a while since I sat down and binged an anime, and there was something very nostalgic and healing about it. I mean, the anime was good which definitely helped, but even just the act itself was fulfilling in some way. And I of course always love indulging the nigehaji brain worms in my head. I drew, I worked on building the Gundam my friend gave me, I wrote and danced around my room and had a yummy tea... yeah, it was a good day.

Now let's hope I sleep. Thank goodness I work from home tomorrow.

[whalehouse1]

Jon, before finding out he has powers: Dad, why are you taking me on an interview with you? You guys never take me to interviews.

Clark: Well this one is with a close personal friend of mine and he has a son about your age, a little older, and I think you two would make good friends.

Jon: So who’s this interview with?

Clark: Bruce Wayne.

Jon, surprised: That haughty, taughty rich idiot who constantly makes headlines for being stupid?

Clark, smiling: Yep.

-At the manor after a flight of Jon just asking his dad how he hasn’t tricked him into using money from Bruce to get new farm equipment, etc.-

Clark: Jon, this is Bruce Wayne and his youngest child, Damian…he is still the youngest right Bruce?

Bruce, smiling: For now, but there is a gala tomorrow night so who knows 9 months from now.

Damian groans at this and looks at Jon and smirks noticing he has a Batman keychain dangling out of his pocket: So Jon, who’s your favorite superhero?

Jon: Mm, probably Batman. It’s really cool how he can do all those flips and that. Also he’s super smart.

Damian, smirking while glancing at Clark: What about Superman. Isn’t he the strongest?

Jon: Well yeah he has a bunch of powers but he’s just boring. You know he’s going to win and it’s not worth getting invested in since you always see the “Superman Saves Kitty Orphanage from Nuclear Bomb,” from my parents’ newspaper. I think they just are fans of Superman and ignore the cooler ones. And let me guess you’re going to tell me that he stands for truth, Justice and the American way. My dad and mom stand for it too and they aren’t nearly as in my face about it. I don’t need some loser in his undies teaching me stuff that my parents do 100x better.

Damian: I’m going to enjoy this.

-after the sons leave to play-

Bruce: So how’re you feeling Clark?

Clark: He did nothing but trash you on the plane. But he said I do a better job of being Superman than Superman, so I don’t know what to think.

Bruce: Wait until he develops his powers, then you’ll be cool enough to teach him.

[mysticfemme]

Hey there, breathe? breathe. I’d like to reassure you that it gets better but I can’t. However It’s okay to surrender to your feelings, cry a 100x over if need be just don’t forget to breathe. Tackle the days and it’s events one at a time and at your own pace. I know it easier said than done but 1% progress is fine all that matters is you’re trying.

Also the eclipse MIGHT probably have a hand in how you’re feeling (were still in the shadow period, there are reports of people being intensely triggered/emotions heightened), there could be other factors idk. Hang in there?

#not necessarily an ask but just a friendly reminder to extend grace and be gentle with yourself✨

thank you anon, this is really kind of you, I appreciate your words <3

although I don't think it's the eclipse, my period starts tomorrow and I have pmdd so I think it's most likely that

[lectergrahams]

andddddddd it has been a fucking awful weekend which will inevitably set me up for a bad fucking week. it’ll be better if we can have an alright morning tomorrow and leave on good terms but idk it that’ll happen. if i have to leave with him in the same state, go home feeling crushed like i do rn bc i got no actual time with him AND i’m 100x more concerned about his safety then i am just. going to do so fucjing bad and i can’t separate myself from that. aside from just hes my partner so i hate him being depressed but. i’ll go into a week after getting no affection or affection or real conversation from him and then get nothing from him while we’re apart which i can handle when we’re good but i cannot handle when we’re not. and also cannot chill or ignore his ducking threats because this got more serious and i am so scared lmao

[judas-is-so-so-silly]

hi. the tags u left on my doodle dump pist genuinely made me so happy and made my day 100x better i hope you find a cool rock on the sidewalk tomorrow or something :D

Ofc! Just wanted to show a mutual and their art some love! :)

Btw if smth cool happens to me I'm giving you all the credit