#today on how fucked up is fucked up

[starry-bite]

*twirling hair* so do you think the smell of her own flesh burning from jade's cattleprod sent emily back into the sense memory of getting branded by doyle?

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[mike-wachowski]

reblog and tag ur answer so I can see please :)

[panstarry]

my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟

[courfee]

it's been exactly a year since the last chapter of Operation Walburga's Arbitrary No Kissing Ever Rule and I still miss it. This scene is probably one of my favourite things I've ever written and I've wanted to draw it for forever, so now seemed like an appropriate time

[laurapetrie]

The two of them were linked in some mysterious storybook way.

Marcel Proust, Swann's Way (1913)

[puppyeared]

Alex and my farmer Cosmo (he/him)

[chitinleg]

got him off-balance!

[xf-cases-solved]

shadow government says they hate mulder so bad and then literally hand deliver him his soulmate, like which is it??

[alexisnotstraight]

!!!

[soups-archive]

Honestly, I don't think people give qCellbit enough credit. As much as he can be blinded by his own self depreciation, he knows his husband.

And there is something deeply wrong with "Roier."

Props to cc!Roier for his acting, because as someone who's been watching the both of them for almost a year now, the way he plays Doied with qCellbit makes my stomach churn a little bit.

It's an almost perfect impression of qRoier, but it's wrong in the ways that matter. He's a little too careless. A little too surface level in his portrayal.

He feels like if someone watched Roier's pov and took his attitude at face value without bothering to consider any of the nuances underneath. Which is, I guess, what Doied actually did.

He hits Cellbit with a sword when he's under-geared just "for fun". He stands back in fights when Cellbit's calling out for help. He nonchalantly brings up Bobby in order to convince the eggs and Cellbit to leave. He tells Pepito that he's Pepito's only parent and that Pepito is only his son. The small details all add up together and the result is something immensely off.

It's VERY well acted, and it's the kind of difference that only someone who spent a long time with a character could pick up on, which is exactly why I think qCellbit seems to have caught on so quick.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

dreaming abt sophomore year class swap bard!riz

[ricky-mortis]

Curtwen Week Day 6: Happy Ending

[front-facing-pokemon]

[rocketbirdie]

here comes trouble (make it double!)

[mossy-paws]

Sword PHIGHTING! period cramps moodboard

Gods mightiest warrior…….

Og image:

ANYWAYS EXTRA BITS!!!! So. Yeah. I wasted exactly 27 hours and 29 minutes of my life making this over a period of like. ~a week and a half LMAO????? I THINK IT WAS LONGER?? Yeah all of these are completely redrawn from the Og “panels”, replicating the dungeon meshi style is. MISERABLE I don’t know why I did this to myself holy fucking shit, all of you blame @squiffer-salad for this monstrosity she’s the reason why this exists in the first place /silly

anyways, I highly recommend looking at the panels individually because I put a lot of fun extra bits in them and just. A LOT of effort in general, any likes, reblog’s, or comments are insanely appreciated since this did take such a long time :’DDD, everything in these minus the backgrounds are completely redrawn/shaded/and colored by hand, this includes mid/screen tones as I used specific layers for those! anyways thank you for coming to my period cramp projection ted-talk I’m going back into my Everglade hole.