#to spite you personally
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from what i've tasted of desire, i hold with those who play with fire
author: aspen blackwood
series: @iholdwiththosewhofavorfire | masterlist
james “bucky” barnes & george barnes | mcu | 🅶 | complete
tags: twilight au, fusion au, prequel
Leaving his home, his family, behind fill Bucky with a sense of melancholy, it had been brewing in his stomach ever since he sat in his seat on this plane. He supposes that leaving and going to live with his father is the best thing he could have done given the situation. After all, he’s only a halfling.
written for the @ficwip exclusive event: to spite you, personally!
read: ao3 | sqwa
mini playlist
#ficwip#spitefest#to spite you personally#stucky fiction#fusion au#marvel fanfiction#vampire au#dark twilight au#vampire steve#creature bucky#vampire fiction#dark romance#paranormal fiction#more coming soon#see you in 2025
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Angela Orosco Silent Hill 2
#in anticipation of the incoming remake#i tried my best to imitate the SH font but#silent hill#silent hill 2#angela#angela orosco#theme of laura (reprise)#i've said it before but in spite of its occasionally clunky diction i think silent hill 2 is an unusually emotionally intelligent game#for any year and still today but especially so for where gaming storytelling was in 2001#and for as many pitfalls a story like hers could've dipped into i think it particularly shines through with how they treated angela#not just choosing to depict victimhood as something that can be ugly and fractious and open quote “difficult” but then this#actively rebuffing james for trying to be a white knight and dressing him down for it too#“i know you mean well and want to help but this isn't a simple problem"#“and it's really hurtful and a bit insulting that you act like you can”#the switching to a first person view turning it into an address to the player as well#maybe even old videogame tropes too#“this isn't some princess in a castle kind of situation dude this is more serious than that”#it felt like a very deliberate statement about the depth and severity of a trauma like this#and in doing so showing it so much respect#then angela just leaves#and you never see her again#i really don't think it was to imply that it consumed her i think it was to underline what was just said#this isn't your problem to fix#this is where your part in this story ends#there's some strength in that
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My favorite part about the Debling plot was Penelope and Cressida doing the most over there top cat-fighting in order to win him over, not because they genuinely liked the guy, but because they wanted to escape their families and also lowkey just hate each other.
#the female experience that is… doing things out of spite#also if you ask me the actual love triangle this season is pen/eloise/cressida which I LOVE#toxic yuri let’s go!#don’t know why everyone was so salty abt debling bc me personally#i was enjoying the hell out penelope bulshitting her love of nature just to one-up cressida#and completely ignoring that colin was PINING right beside her#not out of cruelty she’s just that dumb <3#all this time i thought pen was going after debling for petty reasons related to her mother#but turns out she was also going after debling for petty reasons related to cressida LOVE IT#penelope featherington#cressida cowper#lord debling#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton season 3
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Why are so many of you so comfortable with attacking complete strangers on the internet
If you wouldn't approach a random stranger on the street and say those kinds of things to them, but you feel completely comfortable saying those kinds of things to a perfect stranger on the internet (behind the safety of a screen free of consequences for your words), maybe you need to take a good long look in the mirror and revaluate your life.
#and be honest about what kind of person you are#which is not just a mean spiteful person#But a cowardly one at that#You are comfortable being a jerk so long as you're safe from consequences for it
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Tim flicks a French fry at him, “Your reputation needs work.”
Jason’s eyes flicker an acidic green, the smile curving along his mouth turning dark. “You sure about that?”
“Yes,” Tim says, a shiver running down his spine.
It’s unnerving, sure. Being trapped under that gaze. Feeling like a rabbit with a fox’s jaws clamped around its spine, waiting for-
Tim chokes on a French fry, hunching over, and Jason is quick to slap him on the back, almost booting him clean off the roof in the process.
“Easy, replacement,” he grunts when Tim is no longer in danger of a truly embarrassing death, “Fuck’s sake, I can shoot people in front of you and you ain’t batting an eye, but some mild threats do you in?”
“You’re very-“ Hot. And pretty much everything Tim’s ever dreamed of. And also his crush since, like, forever. And now miraculously back from the dead, and also-
“Intimidating,” he finishes lamely.
— sneak peak of the JayTim spite fic :)
#jaytim#wip#work in progress#that one person really pissed me off so now you all have to suffer through me writing romance#nobody wants me writing romance cuz it’s cringe#ALAS it appears a point needs to be made about this blog not allowing any ship bashing#and if it has to be done through me writing Jaytim then hot dang it I’m going to#fanfiction#spite fic#jason todd#Tim drake#fanfic#bat ships#red hood#robin#TimJay#sneak peek
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Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.
Kamala 2024!
If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.
But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.
#personal#answered#anonymous#i mean let's be clear here no president is gonna attempt to be progressive ever again within my lifetime#because joe biden tried to do like 25% of that and got ZERO fucking credit#he did so much on healthcare on reform on loans on so many social issues and for all his litany of failings on i/p#he has been distinctly harsher on netanyahu than a good chunk of dems and certainly the entire republican party#for the first time since i was four we are not involved in any wars as americans and that is thanks to joe biden#but the thing is that he gets no credit for any of it!#him pulling out of afghanistan caused his approvals to tank in a way that never recovered#and leftists gave him FUCK ALL for it#they gave him nothing they just continued whining that even tho he cancelled a bajillion in student loans#he didn't actually cancel a QUADRILLION dollars so both parties are the same and voting is the most arduous task known to man#no democrat who is running is going to forget that catering to leftist/progressive policies gets them zero leeway with those supporters#that it not only tanks numbers but you still get constant haranguing about it anyway#so they're not gonna do it#we are gonna get fuckall for at least a good fifty years#and anything we get will be utterly in SPITE of people like you anon it will happen in spite of everything you've done#mostly because of people like me and mine who understand that voting is the bare minimum#and that for the democratic process to work the way you want it to you need to participate and not pitch a fucking fit#like a four year old who was told they can't go to disney this weekend#like i know you ratfuckers are happy this played out because this is all a game to you and you don't actually care#but that's why i've got zero faith in you people and why i'm glad it's my kind of folks#actual die hard democrats who have always been hardliners for supporting democrats in every possible election#who are picking up the slack and donating to harris and supporting her agenda#which is the exact same as biden's because she's his vice president and they share they same platform#because that's what they were both running on! twice!#anyway fuck you please feel free to find a necktie and test how tall your doorframe is
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I’m just sad tonight. One of my friends thanked me for educating her about antisemitism and then stopped talking to me completely in December.
My former roommate nannied for Jewish families and worked at a Jewish school despite being a goy. I lived with her for 6 years and invited her to Hanukkah and other holidays. I said I had a question for her about Palestine (that’s it. That’s all). She told me she’d reach out to me when she had the headspace for it. She hasn’t reached out to me but she has posted several times about Palestine.
So many people who said they’d always be there for me suddenly disappeared when I actually told them I needed them and idk that it will ever stop hurting tbh.
#antisemitism#leftist antisemitism#ongoing trauma#will I ever know why you ghosted#will I ever hear back?#idk#but y’all really let me down#I hope it haunts you#I really do#not because of spite#but because I want to believe you know you fucked up#I don’t want to believe that you think your behavior is ok#I want to believe you aren’t who you’ve proven yourselves to be#betrayal#trauma stuff#personal
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I LOVE TOXIC SHIPS!!!!! I LOVE SHIPS WHERE THOSE MFS FIGHT EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME!!!! I LOVE SHIPS THAT ARE EVIL AND WRONG GRAAAAAA I HAVE MENTAL PROBLEMS
#lawlight#batjokes#soapshipping#editing to add#thoschei#twissy#doctor x master#wtv you wanna call em i love them too <3333#you three are my achilles heel i fucking love lawlight and batjokes and soapshipping you dont understand you dont get it dude theyre so#AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH#just... somethin bout having a deep and raw and unparalleled understanding of another person that makes you crave them carnally#oh to be loved for your flaws rather than in spite of them#idk! i think i am just unwell
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continued rook-lucanis sketches from the last week or so <3
#if it looks like i only draw lucanis its untrue. im actually cutting out a lot of rook backstory specific doodles. ..#<- guy who can only draw either her rook or lucanis rn#the other companions i will get to you. neve especially lord in heaven#lucanis dellamorte#rookanis#rook#tyche laidir#spite#my art#dragon age#dav spoilers#anyways anyone else really think that rialto bay is just so romantic with how it bridges antiva and rivain i personally cant stop thinking!#i need to have this game i need to understand what becomes of rook and him. a woman who loves the sea so dearly that lucanis suddenly#cannot bear to take her away from it. lucanis who could not imagine his life outside the crows and how could she ask he leave illario behin#two people so obsessed with their job and their lives that even their endearments relate to it#two people who love their birthrights. which one of them is supposed to be able to give that up?#desperately need something bittersweet AND BEFORE I JINX IT I DONT MEAN IN A TRAITOR WAY.#there is a reason i named their playlist pregrieving
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My five cents on Tech’s fate in TBB
It’s been over three weeks since the show ended and I’ve been writing this in my head ever since, mostly to have it summed up in one post for posterity lol. I considered letting it go at this point but I know it’ll drive me crazy if I don’t get it out of my system so might as well.
So here we go, some of my rambly post-finale thoughts on Tech’s death (and a few other issues) under the cut!
Disclaimer: while this post is in critical spirit (because that’s how my brain works), I want to make clear that I have nothing but respect and gratitude towards everyone who’s worked on the show. My criticisms are of the final story as a whole as I interpret it (art is art, everything is subjective, you know the drill), but one never knows what goes into the process of making it behind the scenes, so I’m not holding anything against the creative team. I love this show dearly and am in awe of how good it is at its best, despite certain things I wish they did differently.
To begin, if I had to sum up the biggest problem that TBB writing suffers from, it would be lack of closure, and too many red herrings. Not just for Tech, but many things. Major plot threads as well as little character moments are cultivated or thrown in just to never culminate in anything or to be immediately discarded after serving the plot, some of them incredibly misleading. Some of the top examples:
- Crosshair’s chip. We never get an exploration of how the trauma of his chip activating and being left behind not only affected his motivation and choice to stay with the Empire, but his relationship with his brothers. While it was made fairly obvious, if subtly, that Crosshair became free of the chip’s influence after getting hit by the ion engine on Bracca, the narrative treated this change as if it didn’t matter at that point, while it obviously mattered a lot within the context of Crosshair’s character. Add to that all these little details with him clutching his head in s1 finale, Omega expressing her disappointment in him, and Tech’s comment on how “it is just his nature” (as if it matters!!! See what I mean about the narrative treating Cross’s chip as if it didn’t play the key part in his trajectory? They throw in this line, like we are supposed to take away that it’s simply Crosshair being Crosshair and not like, the results of brainwashing and abandonment), Wrecker blaming Crosshair for not going back to them, all while we as the audience have been shown and told repeatedly how these chips work (and so were the Batch), we ended up with an incredibly confusing situation with lots of mixed signals from the writers. And once Crosshair makes his choice to stay with the Empire in s1 finale, his chip and the confusion it brought to his relationship with his brothers is never brought up again, because the plot simply moves on.
- Cid’s betrayal. After her being a major character for two seasons with a continuous relationship build-up with Omega in particular, she is discarded as soon as her betrayal serves the plot, with all that character development getting thrown out of the window. You can be mad at Cid all you want, but to me it’s incredibly weird and wasteful to end two seasons worth of build up on that note without it having any closure for the characters, especially Omega whose whole theme is trusting people and bringing out the best in them. It’s fine if they decided to make Cid exactly what she appeared on the surface (untrustworthy and self-serving) after playing around with her potentially growing through her fondness of Omega, but then at the very least the betrayal should’ve had an impact on the characters, Omega most of all. Even just one casual line from Omega in s3 about how Cid’s betrayal impacted her emotionally, however minimally, would have solved that problem. And no, CX-2 mentioning how he extracted info on Phee from her off screen absolutely doesn’t count as closure, because I’m talking about emotional closure for the main pov characters as well as the audience. Cid had a presence for two seasons, then as soon as she executed her role as a traitor to further the plot, she was discarded like she was a random extra.
- Emerie’s relationship with Hemlock. We are led to believe that he basically raised her, instilling in her the idea that she had no chance without him and owed her purpose and “safety” to him. You can’t tell me that this didn’t deeply affect her struggle and eventual decision to break away from all that and choose to help the kids, basically betraying Hemlock. I get that the show only had so much screen time and Emerie is a supporting character in season 3 at best, but common, she has more tension with Dr. Scalder than Hemlock while the potential for this rich deep conflict between them is right there.
I can probably list more smaller examples but this is getting long and I don’t want to go on any more tangents, so, finally, the biggest example of lack of closure and tendency of TBB writing to display foreshadowing that leads nowhere:
Tech’s death.
First of all, I’ll die on the hill that it wasn’t denial or delusion that led to such a big portion of the audience to believe that Tech didn’t really die in s2. If we look at the facts:
- there was no body
- it’s the finale of season 2 out of 3, pretty early for one of the main titular characters to get killed off
- the only/last character to allegedly see Tech after his fall is a villainous scientist who is known to experiment on clones specifically
- not a fact but: the whole scene with Hemlock presenting Tech’s goggles to Hunter was incredibly suspicious. In hindsight, I think the whole purpose of it was so that the Batch got Tech’s goggles back in their possession as a memento (and to show how evil Hemlock is to rub it into Hunter’s face like that) but it was executed in a way that read as something much more. It read as if Hemlock was going out of his way to convince us/Hunter of Tech’s death, but with us knowing who Hemlock is, his background in experimenting on clones, everything screams at us to not trust a word he says. Is it really so surprising that so many of the viewers immediately jumped at the conclusion that something more was going on there?
- Hunter’s (lack of) reaction/immediate narrative fall-out. More on that later as I address lack of emotional impact of Tech’s death in s3.
- it’s Star Wars. And there was no body.
So yeah, to me, it is completely justified that so many people read that whole thing as open to speculation at the very least, foreshadowing Tech’s survival at most.
Personally, I was 70% sure Tech was truly dead prior to s3, but not because the text told me so, but because at that point I was used to the show’s writing regularly sending out mixed signals, and a part of me was resigned to Tech’s death becoming another example of the writer’s intent clashing with their accidental empty foreshadowing.
As season 3 aired and the whole CX-2 plot was unfolding alongside continued lack of closure for Tech’s fate, my hope for Tech Lives reveal grew and grew, but in the end my initial doubt was proven right, unfortunately.
Oh, CX-2.. what a mess. You can’t tell me the creators went over all of these scenes, all of these lines, looked at the whole picture and *didn’t* see how it was incredibly easy to interpret CX-2 as potentially being Tech with all these little potential parallels. “Domicile” alone.
If they didn’t want us to entertain the idea that it could be Tech, they could’ve done it differently, but for some reason, they chose to leave that space for speculation. My question is, why?
If they truly wanted us to believe Plan 99 was it, Tech’s Noble End that we were supposed to take as this dramatic super emotional ultimate sacrifice and all that, then why would they not make it clear that CX-2 couldn’t be Tech? Why breed confusion? And breed confusion they did. It’s hard for me to believe they didn’t foresee the “ohh is it Tech?” speculation.
When so many members of the audience immediately and individually jump at a theory or have the same take away from the story they are being told, yet the authors say it wasn’t meant to be taken that way, something went seriously wrong with the writing.
I don’t like to speculate on such things because we will probably never know for certain, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they had at some point considered CX-2 being Tech or at least something more for the whole CX plot thread, but changed and reshuffled things at the last minute for whatever reasons.
Which is fine and understandable. But it brings me to the heart of my biggest issue with how Tech’s fate was handled:
lack of impact and closure.
Let’s disregard all the Tech Lives theories for a moment and focus on what we did get: Tech, one of the main characters, getting killed off at the end of s2 out of 3, for stakes and consequences and NOTHING else. When I say nothing, I mean nothing.
Imagine, for a moment, he survived and stayed with the Batch. Nothing would have changed, in the grand scheme of things. Nothing. We wouldn’t have had a few obligatory “Tech mention, everyone feel sad now” throwaway lines/goggle shots and whatnot, sure, but that’s it.
Tech dying didn’t change the trajectory of the plot in any way, nor did it affect any of the other characters in a way that changed their trajectory. And anything less is simply not enough to justify killing one of your main characters. Stakes and consequences ain’t it.
Consider Mayday, for example: a supporting character, but his death in s2 affected Crosshair in such a way it completely redirected his journey, AND in s3 we got an episode that cemented the impact Mayday had on Crosshair and provided emotional closure for them. That’s a narratively meaningful death.
Tech’s death was not meaningful to the narrative beyond removing him from it. That’s why so many Tech fans insist he deserved better treatment: not only was he not present in one third of the show physically, but he lacked any sort of presence even in death. His absence was never processed or grieved by any of the main characters and so by extension by the audience.
And before anyone starts with the whole ‘they are soldiers/they had no time to grieve/etc’ arguments, it is the responsibility of the writers to provide the space for all of that emotional impact. It they don’t, there is no impact.
A few reactions here and there, moments of missing Tech as a person and a brother, not an asset, anything would have made this whole thing easier to accept.
The lines that we did get, from Omega mentioning the stuff Tech taught her to Echo commenting on how decryption would be easier if Tech was with them to “Clone Force 99 died with Tech” from Crosshair - each and every single one of those lines linked to Tech’s functions as part of the squad, his usefulness, but we didn’t get a single line in remembrance of him as a person of his own, no one missed or remembered him for himself or his personal impact on them.
Just one line from Omega about how he taught her about change being a constant part of life or whatever, or Wrecker making a comment on how Tech used to info dump about stuff, anything would have instantly provided that much needed sense of “he was here, he was a person and is still a part of us”. Instead, Tech was killed off to show that messing with the Empire is dangerous and risks are real, I guess, and immediately lost any and all presence within the story.
We never even got to see Crosshair’s or Phee’s reactions to losing him.
Speaking of Crosshair, that’s a whole other example of complete lack of closure: they never closed the loop on the family being reunited again after initially leaving Crosshair behind, and with Tech dead, it’ll forever stay broken.
They could’ve given this a bittersweet yet meaningful spin if they developed the angle of Tech dying on a mission to bring Crosshair home, making a sacrifice so Crosshair had a chance.
Instead, the moment Tech dies, we get Hunter (and through him, the narrative) immediately abandon the idea/plot thread of going to rescue Cross all while saying “let’s not waste Tech’s sacrifice”. Sacrifice for what? Clearly Hunter doesn’t see it as a sacrifice for Crosshair’s sake, so, what, to make sure the rest of them makes it from the mission? The mission to save Crosshair. That mission. Right.
I see people talking about Tech’s noble sacrifice that ensured his family got to live and eventually have their happy ending, but all I can think about is how the creators chose to have him die on a mission that was immediately abandoned and the only take away from that whole sub plot was Tech’s own demise.
And after Crosshair is back with the Batch, his reaction to Tech’s death is never explored at all.
So yes, to me Tech deserved so much better. If you are going to kill off a major character, it must be necessary to be compelling. The way I see it, Tech’s death was not necessary at all because it didn’t change anything. And if it was meant to, the creators failed to communicate that by choosing not to explore the emotional impact of it and not structuring certain story beats in a more precise manner.
To wrap this up, if the way Tech’s death was handled was satisfying for you, that’s valid and I’m glad for you. For me, unfortunately, it’s completely the opposite and will forever remain the biggest and most unfortunate low point in the story.
And while I welcome anyone to share their own perspective if they wish, please don’t take this post as an invitation for debate, since there is no one right or wrong way to interpret or be affected by art.
#tbb analysis#the bad batch#And I ask you to please not use this post as an excuse to hate on the show I love in spite of all the issues described above#you can make your own post to express your dislike of the show#especially for reasons not covered in this post#personally I consider TBB to have some of the deepest and most meaningful moments in all of Star Wars#at its best it is a masterpiece#the character writing is stellar and the subtlety of expression of certain moments is chefs kiss#it’s the story writing I have problems with#tech
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author: aspen blackwood | #ficwip
event: spitefest | discord server event
from what i've tasted of desire, i hold with those who play with fire | 🅶
stucky [james “bucky” barnes x steve rogers] series: from what i’ve tasted of desire i hold with those who favor fire snippet: Leaving his home, his family, behind fill Bucky with a sense of melancholy, it had been brewing in his stomach ever since he sat in his seat on this plane. He supposes that leaving and going to live with his father is the best thing he could have done given the situation. After all, he’s only a halfling.
aspen’s vault: fics masterlist | aspen’s world: bingo & events participation masterlist
other 2024 #ficwip events: all ships week | dark & cozy | level up | the 5k
spite graphic credit
#ficwip#spitefest 2024#to spite you personally#evanstan#chris evans#sebastian stan#stucky#steve rogers#bucky barnes#wintershield#starbucks#barnes & noble
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Let us scream into the void for our batshit insane jester into the void together-
What do you think about Shadow Milk Cookie who once had a lover during his days as a cookie free from corruption, and when that day comes where he wreaks havoc onto Earthbread, his lover stood against him and lives freely during his imprisonment.
To see their fragments in the present, whether it's their name or their achievement as one of the cookies who went against a beast... Or to know how they're known as a cookie who loves a beast until their end.
(can I be 🍡 anon?)
Shadow Milk Cookie does not take your betrayal well.
Not agreeing with his philosophies is one thing, but acting out against him— helping those wretched witches seal him away— he won’t forget it. He stews in his rage, replays the moments of your treachery over and over again. He doesn’t blame you, he blames the witches. Those cowardly, despicable, rotten farces of gods. You are incredibly misguided by them, that’s all it is. You just need a little shove in the right direction, and once he escapes, he’ll happily provide that.
While Shadow Milk Cookie does not think you are at fault, he does believe that your actions warrant some sort of punishment. He pours himself over this during his imprisonment; ways to get back at you, make you suffer a little before he feels you’ve earned his forgiveness. Nothing he thinks of ever feels severe enough, there is nothing you could possibly do to mend his broken heart. (Perhaps if you stay by his side; spend the rest of eternity repenting and groveling, proving your loyalty and remorse, never estranging yourself from him again… maybe then, he’ll consider taking pity on you.)
After he breaks free from imprisonment, he’s all smiles and theatrics. Naturally, it’s a deceptive cover. Beneath his conniving grin is a deep-seated resentment. He tears the silver tree asunder with a manic smile and a burning desire for revenge. There are many things he intends to reclaim:
First of all, the other half of his soul jam.
He’ll run circles around that false little hero— as he finds that Pure Vanilla is surprisingly susceptible to corruption. It’s an excellent warm-up after laying dormant for so long, and Shadow Milk Cookie intends on enjoying every second of that thief’s descent into madness.
Then, once that’s out of the way, he’ll come for his silly, misguided, deceitful little lover next.
#Beast of Deceit#Spire of Truth#cookie run kingdom x reader#crk x reader#shadow milk cookie x reader#shadow milk x reader#🍡 anon#He’s a very spiteful person…#When he hears of the legends of a cookie who helped seal the ‘beasts’ he scoffs#To him you are no hero more than you are a lying little worm#Luckily (or unluckily) for you… he’s a good person! And he’ll forgive you if you join his emo band and apologize 3838728293 times a day—#—for the rest of your life.#I need to make it clear that after eons with nothing to do except contemplate his conflicting feelings of—#— of anger/betrayal/grief/love/hatred regarding his (once) lover—#— Shadow Milk comes out of that tree pretty twisted. All those feelings have accumulated into a wretched and horrific obsession—-#— that you will never be able to shake.
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babe, this wouldn't be the first time it will not be the last time there's no parasol that could shelter this weather
#chainshipping#saw#adam faulkner stanheight#lawrence gordon#saw 2004#saw franchise#saw movie#song is oil and water by incubus#'chainshipping is a healthy relationship' EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER#post bathroom theywould be the most dysfunctional and horrible couple and i think thats awesome and sexy of them.#adam is spiteful and angry and lawrence is obstinate and bitchy. they live in two extremely different worlds#i just wish more ppl would willingly explore the wildly antagonistic nature of their relationship bc its intoxicating to me#to me they are like insanely possessive of each other but they have these idealized versions of one another that dont fully live up to the#person in their head#they are riddled with problems and issues but at the root of it all they care for each other and understand each other in a way no one else#ever will#so they cling to each other and learn to love each other and learn to grow together. but it takes a long time#and akgdmfglf i have such a Specific Vision for apprentice adam in my head like . most of my chainshipping ideas involve apprentice adam bc#i just love the concept too much#anyway apprentice chainshipping goes absolutely crazy. you should try it sometime#if youve read all these tags im kissing you with tongue.#my art
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I was gonna say I love Lucanis’s romance in the game but apparently as I noticed that’s an unpopular opinion
#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis x rook#Lucanis and rook#Lucanis and spite#dragon age Lucanis#maybe it’s because i don’t like spicy scenes#I have no clue if anyone’s flirting or not#maybe it’s because I like it slow and sweet?#I need the straight up I like you or something to notice someone is flirting#I did understand when taash said Harding smelled good though#but also what did you expect from Lucanis he wa a literally tortured and betrayed by the person he was closest to#and you thought he would go for you in a heartbeat?#he’s learning to trust again#besides Mary Kirby did describe him as a bisexual disaster#yes I wish there was more scenes overall with Lucanis#but that’s just cause he’s my fave ever since Tevinter nights and I wanna have more content with him#maybe I just need to find the people who doesn’t like to complain over it#i don’t know
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one of the things about having an unstable parent is that it can so easily ruin your future. you want to get out, but getting out takes having agency. it takes the resume and the grades and the stellar community service history.
but you have to choose your battles. you know if you sign up for an after-school activity, it'll be okay for a while, so long as the activity is parent-approved and god-fearing. over time, like all things, it will become an argument (i can't keep carting your ass to these things) or a weapon (talk to me like that again, see if you get to go to practice). sometimes, if you love the thing, it's worth it. but you also know better than to love something: that's how they get you. if you ever actually want something, it will always be the center of their attention. they will never stop threatening you with it. telling you of course i'm a good parent, i came to all of those stupid events.
you learn to balance yourself perfectly. you can either have a social life or you can have hobbies. both of these things will be under constant scrutiny. you spend too much time with her, you should be at home with family is equally paired with you're acting like this because you're addicted to what's on that goddamn screen. you cannot ever actually win, so everything falls within a barter system that you calculate before entering: do you want to learn how to drive? if so, you'll need to give up asking for a new laptop, even though yours died. maybe you can work on a computer at the library. of course, that would mean you'd be allowed to go to the library, which would mean something else has to bleed. nothing ever actually comes free.
and that bitter, horrible irony: you could be literally following their orders and it still isn't pretty. they tell you to get a job; they hate that your job keeps you late and gives you access to actual money. they tell you to do better in school; they say no child of mine needs a tutor. they want you to stop being so morose, don't you know there are people who are really suffering - but they revile the idea you might actually need therapy.
you didn't survive that fall the way other people would. you've seen other people scramble and get their way out, however they could. maybe you were made too-soft: the answer didn't come to you easily. it wasn't quick. it was brutal and nasty. some people even asked you why didn't you just work hard and escape during school? and you felt your head spinning. why didn't you? (they control your financial aid. they control your loan status. they love having that kind of thing). maybe in another life you got diagnosed sooner and got the meds you needed to actually focus and got attention from the right teachers who helped you clear hurdles to get up out of here - but for now? here?
the effort of trying. the effort of not-dying. that kind of effort was absolutely agonizing.
#writeblr#btw i got out#even though i felt this way#i was undiagnosed and was in a particularly fucked up situation#(it's complicated lol)#i had no money and no way out#no car no license . i still had a curfew at 22 years old#and still. i got out.#you can get out too.#i wasn't allowed to literally do anything after school we were pretty much only allowed 1 hobby#and STILL i got out.#it wasn't bc i was particularly smart or capable or clever. it's that 1. i got lucky & 2.#i knew there had to be The Rest of The World#and I wanted to at least VAGUELY get to the Rest of the World before i gave up trying#sometimes it's the spite that gets u thru it. that sense - fuck u#FUCK YOU ACTUALLY.#im gonna make my own life u stupid bitch. since u seem so convinced i could never REALLY do it.#whenever ppl are like <3 just cut out ur parents <3 im like <3 have u never been poor lol <3#<3 i needed them to sign my loans <3#<3 bestie not every person who is struggling is going to be able to make the grades and hero status to get a free ride.#and guess what baby!! we still deserve to get out and have a good life.
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a very popular fandom post claims it is absolutely DISGUSTING and morally REPREHENSIBLE that people ship Jimmy (a rapist!!!!) and Curly (a guy who enabled a rapist and then became the victim of his abuse!!!!) from a dark horror-tragedy game!!! cue plenty of people chiming in to say that we good pure Christians should NEVER explore a disgusting and twisted abusive relationship in a fictional context, between two morally shitty characters! that is WRONG and DEVIANT!!
so of course I went looking for the gross disgusting content I was promised, and...
there's literally 6 pages on AO3, guys. And one page on Tumblr. I think you can chill.
#mouthwashing#jesus fucking christ#I was so disappointed lmao#fandom pearl clutching never ceases to amaze me#you people need better hobbies#personally I'm more interested in the non-shippy total crew dynamic but I am gonna start shipping jimcurly out of spite#because you guys are being so weird about it lmao
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