#to look at the same pictures of them with a sad song playing over it

[vague-bisexual-crimes]

On one hand Heartstopper tiktok fans scare me on the other hand iwbft fans have got to start making edits of those characters it’s been the same angsty ones for years

[pileofboneswrites]

LOVER BOY_headcanons.strangerthings

dating eddie munson headcanons

SUMMARY — relationship eddie headcanons

A/N — i just wanna say a quick thank you to everyone who liked my other eddie headcanons post, i wasn't expecting all the love, but i appreciate it immensely :))

MASTERLIST | BACK

when he likes someone, he thinks he's being really subtle, but he's not

him, a stuttering, nervous wreck; "uh hey, cool shirt"

you, deadpan; "it's your shirt, that you gave me to wear, because you thought i'd look cute in it"

always tries to impress you in silly ways

"wanna see how fast i can run?"

"bet i can jump and hit that sign without running"

"i caught you a squirrel because you said they were cute that one time"

is touch starved

as such, he will always be touching you in some capacity; hand on your knee while in class, hand on your thigh or fingers interlaced with yours while driving, he will sit on you if there's nowhere for him.

when you hug him, kiss him, or cuddle with him he will hold on and refuse to let you go until you're late, like really late, you'd have to leave ten minutes ago late.

is big on pet names when you're alone, but mostly calls you by your last name or a shortened version of your name when in public

he's big on baby, sweetheart, dollface.

angel and prince/princess are reserved for when he's fucked up royally, or you're sad or sleepy.

will touch everything you own

perfume/cologne sitting on your dresser? sprayed himself in the face with it the first time he picked it up, but really liked how it smelled so he puts a spitz on every time you leave him alone in your room. just spent the day at the pool and he needs to shower at yours? he will use your shampoo, conditioner, body wash, lotion and even your deodorant "do you want me to stink? :(". every time he comes in he finds something new to play with. old stuffie under your bed? he's carrying it around/hugging it/holding it until he leaves. trinkets on the top of your bed frame? he'll make them talk to each other when he's bored.

has a hard time sleeping when you're not close

he and sleep have rarely ever been on the same page, so he finds things to do to occupy his time, so when he's in a relationship that usually means he's dragging you along with him; be it going for a swim at 2am at lovers lake, a quick trip to the gas for snacks, or just straight up falling ungracefully through your window and crawling into bed with you to try and grab a couple hours of sleep (while simultaneously scaring the shit out of you because you were already sleeping).

because of the above, he will constantly nap around you while you're hanging out

you're his safe space, he spends most of his time in your presence passed out; laying on his back on the floor with his legs tossed over the side of your bed with his feet tucked under your thigh while you study, arms crossed over his chest while you're head's in his lap as you read out loud to him – he swears he's awake but every so often he lets out a soft snore, sitting on the couch watching a romcom with his head on your shoulder as he struggles to keep his eyes open, literally any time you touch his head/hair he's out like a light.

100% is glued to your side and tells everyone you're his best friend as well as his gf/bf

he goes on errands with you and spends 99% of his free time with you, he drags you along to band practice — which you usually use as an opportunity to feed baked goods to his bandmates (who absolutely adore you for it), when he's working you usually sit around with him passing him tools as he needs them — "uh need 9/16 wrench–" and it's already in your hand like you read his mind.

when you're not around, brags about you to anyone who will listen to him, and carries a picture (that he switches out for newer ones he takes) of you in his wallet that he shows off constantly — "look how cute they are" "my girlfriend/boyfriend is hotter".

writes songs about you

sometimes he'll write them just for himself, or for your ears only recording them on a tape just for you to have a reminder of how much he loves you.

you better believe that wayne loves you for being a good influence on him

you make him eat all breakfast, lunch & dinner — before you he would forget to eat and usually pumped himself full of caffeine only, you get him a reuseable water bottle (which you bribe him to carry it around and actually drink from it) — to his credit he now drinks at least one full bottle, you make him wear sunscreen & a hat on sunny days, waterproof footwear and jacket on rainy/snowy days (he's shocked when he doesn't get sick as often).

at first wayne was wary of you, unsure of whether your intentions were genuine or if you were going to pull one over on eddie — which disappeared the first time he came home from work and saw you too cuddled up on the couch watching one of eddie's favourite movies (it was the way you were staring at him as he shared his favourite parts or something he read about it, or a fact about the filming/production — wayne tells this story at your wedding all teary eyed about his eddie being all grown up and so very obviously loved).

takes photos of you all the time

cutesy date night photos, spicy half-naked photos (or just straight up naked naked), you sleeping, you making an ugly face, you mid-sneeze, you smiling, he has it all caught on film and he loves each and every photo so much.

total softie for you and you alone

you've gotten him to do things he's straight up refused to do for his friends, and even wayne

does literally anything you ask, and even sometimes you don't have to ask, he just does it because he knows it'll make you happy and that's all he strives for, you being happy.

[thexsilentxwordsmith]

I'll Crawl Home To Her

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!reader

Summary: Simon is away on a mission and you are on his mind. Having to extend his stay, he is going to miss Valentine's day, but coming across a recent trend on TikTok, he may have a way to say just how much you mean to him.

***So, this came from the TikTok trend I came across of military guys posting pics of their girlfriends/wives/fiancees/etc. to the song Work Song by Hozier and I wanted Simon to do it too for you. So here it is! Just a little something extra***

***Pictures are made by me***

Simon can’t sleep, again. 

It’s been a while that his team has been in the field on their current mission and though he knows he should focus on the task at hand, there is so much on his mind tonight. Even though he is tired, he cannot seem to get himself to drift off. There is something missing, or more like someone, that he wishes to be beside right now and that is you.

He feels guilty about still being gone as he should be in by now, just in time for Valentine's day, but that isn’t happening anymore. Things on this latest mission are taking longer than expected and instead of packing up to come home to you, he had to have that hard phone call to tell you that he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. In that call he heard it there in your voice: that twinge of sadness that you always try to mask through hopeful and kind words, holding back the crackle in your voice as you choke back the tears in hopes that he won't hear it, but he does. He always does.

As much as he loves his job he is ready to be back with you again and hearing that does not make it any easier. 

The dark surrounds him as Simon lays in his cot, trying to numb his mind with his phone propped up in his hand, hopeful that with enough distraction sleep will eventually take him. He knows there is no better way to keep his mind from wandering back to those things he cannot change than by idly watching short content videos and he knows just where to go for that. He clicks on the TikTok app and begins to watch. 

Scrolling through the drivel and waste, past people spewing their nonsense, a video comes across his feed that instantly brings you right back to the forefront of his thoughts. The first slide is a picture of a young man in his fatigues and tactical gear smiling at the camera. He is clearly in the field on active duty and there is text across him that repeats the lyrics of the song playing. His picture is followed by a slide with what Simon assumes is his wife with the next bit of lyrics over her. It looks like a new trend amongst military personnel on the app, a tribute to the ones they are going to come home to in the future: children, pets, significant others, family. 

The song tugs at his heartstrings from the moment it begins; it's one he hasn't heard before, but the lyrics make his heart ache and his arms feel so incredibly empty without the weight of your body filling them as the singer speaks about how even in death they would find their way home to the one they love.

And fuck if that isn't something he thinks about a lot. 

It is a burden of this type of job, leaving all part of his heart behind back home every time he has to go out. He knows this lifestyle isn’t easy on either of you, that even though you’ve been together for a couple years now, having him constantly be pulled across the world and away from you still has a certain bite to it. Yet with all that stacked against your relationship, not once have you ever been anything other than supportive. Standing beside him through it all, constantly choosing to give him your heart no matter how hard this gets, loving him through the all the shit that gets thrown his way; if there is anyone his soul would seek out even in death, it would be you. 

He clicks on the sound at the bottom of the screen with a lump welling in his throat and starts to watch more videos of the same. One video turns into two and then three and now his heart is aching something fierce, like a physical burning in the center of his hardened chest that he tries to rub away with his hand, but he knows it's not going to go until he's near you again.

This longing is worse than it has ever been before. He misses your touch, all that soft, warm skin under his hardened hands; he misses your laugh, that sweet sound that can make the sunshine come out even on a rainy day; he yearns for your mouth, those full lips that he can lose himself in. It's almost too much to bear being away from you at that moment.

Simon was never one for big displays of sentimentality. No one ever seemed worth breaking down those walls that he had built up to allow himself to be vulnerable in such a public way like that. It never seemed worth the sacrifice. And for a long time, no matter who he met, that was true…until you.

You broke the mold when you came into his life. Now his heart can't help but burst at the seams whenever you pop into his head. He could be a thousand miles away from you, stuck in some hot, miserable shithole in the middle of nowhere, like he is right now, and yet the moment he thinks of you it doesn't seem quite so bad. 

Because he knows there is a piece of heaven waiting for him, something wonderful that is all his that the struggle of his other life will not touch, not if he has anything to do with it.

Simon may have to miss being there on the day when people show their loved ones how much they care, but that doesn’t mean he can do nothing. As the videos continue to play, he gets an idea, one that will hopefully show you just how much he really does care. 

As much as you go on the app, he is sure you have seen a video or two like this come across your scrolling. You have probably sat there and watched just as he did, thinking about him being so far away, missing him something terrible. Maybe you would like to see him make a video like that for you. Either way, this is something he wants to do, needs to do.

Simon has no pictures of just himself on his phone, none without you in them, and so that’s his first order if he wants to do this right. He tries to do the easy thing the next day and take a selfie, but he can’t get one that looks good enough for him to keep. The more he takes, the worse he thinks they look and that means he is going to have to get help whether he wants to or not, otherwise he is going to back out of doing this and he’s not going to let that happen. 

This is for you after all, he needs it to be perfect. You deserve that.

He decides his best bet is wrangling Soap into doing this for him; at least he is the most comfortable asking the sergeant. “Johnny, I need ya to do somethin’ for me,” Simon says as the team stands around awaiting transport into the designated location. “Don’t ask any fuckin’ questions, but I need ya to take a picture a me real quick.”

“Wanna do a beauty shoot here, L.T.? Seems a bit of a strange location,” Johnny jokes as Simon pulls out his phone from his pocket and shoves it into the sergeant’s open hand. Johnny watches him for a moment, taking a guess at what this is all really about. “Or is it for yer lass back home? Gonna send her somethin’ nice?”

Shaking his head, Simon laughs sarcastically. “Just take the damn picture, yeah? An’ make it look good. I want it ta look natural.”

This isn’t something the masked officer has much experience in and so posing is out; he instead goes for something where it looks like he is caught unaware that he’s being photographed. He’s looking off in the distance, his hand wrapped around his gun so they don’t just hang awkwardly at his side. Johnny quickly snaps the pic and hands the phone back to Simon to check. 

“That’ll do,” he says under his breath, satisfied enough with how it looks.

That night as he lays down for bed, he quickly pieces the video together: first his photo and then he needs one of you. He opens his camera roll and it is absurd how many different ones he has saved. There are so many to choose from that he has a hard time picking the perfect one, but settles on something recent. 

It’s one of you in the bathroom of your apartment, all cozy in the striped jumper he got you for your birthday. Your hair is pulled down out of the bun you keep it in for work, a bit messy from just getting in after you got off. Never has he seen someone more beautiful in such a simple state; you always could look like a dream without even trying. And even through your exhaustion you still give the camera and him the biggest, brightest smile. 

Yeah, it has to be this one. This is the beauty he does all this for.

Luckily it is a rather simple video to put together, he doesn’t have too much trouble getting it to look exactly like the others. He has to watch and rewatch it several times just to be sure he is happy with the product before he hits upload to his followers only. Being that you are the only person that follows him, that is exactly what he wants; he may have to be a bit secretive for work, but that doesn’t mean he can’t try and give you some normalcy.

To him you deserve the world and fuck if he isn’t going to try and give it to you.

He presses the button, the uploading dial in the upper hand corner spinning until it reaches 100%, and waits to see if you get it, hoping that it has the effect he wants in saying all he needs to for you to know how special you are to him.

Across the country, your phone buzzes with a random notification as you lay in bed. It's from Simon's account on TikTok saying he's made a new post. You can’t help how strange you think it is… He never posts anything on his account because he really only made one for you to send him stupid videos to watch whenever he needs to unwind and so it takes you by surprise to see that he has posted something. Opening the app curiously you go straight to check out what it is.

You are not prepared for the emotion that hits you the moment the video starts to play. It’s one of those military posts you have come across a couple of times while scrolling late at night, the ones that you have to quickly scroll past or risk crying at how sweet they are and how much they make you miss Simon. Now the heartfelt Hozier song is blasting through the speakers and it is for you.  

The sentiment behind the lyrics of the song mixed with the picture of him on his latest mission is almost too much. And of course he has picked the picture of you looking all natural, it’s like he can’t get enough of you when you don’t even try at all. You know better than anyone how Simon despises having his picture taken if it isn’t with you, so this a huge sign of just how deeply he cares. Instantly there is a stinging around the rims of your eyes as your vision shimmers. You let the video replay several times as the stray tears are let loose and stream heavily down your face.

Simon did this all for you.

Quickly you pull up your texting app and send him a message, hoping he’s still up to at least answer. You have to rub your eyes with the back of your hand to see the screen, but you type out your message as best you can.

I want you to know I'm crying right now because of you. Is that what you wanted? Make me something that has me crying?

A few minutes pass before your phone buzzes with a text from him, just as you finish wiping away more of the tears collecting on your cheeks. 

Guess you saw the video, yeah? I hope I did it right, sweetheart. Cause I fucking mean it.

You chuckle, swallowing down the lump of feelings that have lodged themselves in your throat, struggling not to start sobbing at how his sweet affection. Of all the things that could be said about Simon Riley, one that could never was that he didn't try his hardest when it came to loving you.

The emotion makes your hands quiver, but you text him back.

It is perfect, Simon. I love it. Really, you did so good.

Simon smiles to himself, glad that your deep connection allows him to share things like this with you. There is no one else that can see him like this, that he can allow his guard down around, and it feels nice to be this tender for the first time in his life. He truly feels as if he can be vulnerable, let himself love with his whole heart, and it is all because of you.

Maybe I'm going soft, but I wanted you to know that I am missing you like mad and that I hate I’m not there with you right now. Fuck, it's getting hard. Can't wait till you're back in my arms again, darling.

You close your eyes and press your lips to the screen as if he can feel your kiss through the screen.

Love you.

Not even a minute passes and the phone vibrates.

Love you too, my beautiful girl. I promise I'll be home soon.

[wokeupchrisbrezy]

Don't Save me.

Lando Norris

Warnings: Smut and angst (the usual obvi.)

Time and time again, he proved he was a horrible lover. Emotionally, that is. Playing with your feelings was his favorite game. He could be an olympian.

Countless tears spilled and love lost.

He did care but it was just the way your glossy eyes looked up at him that made his stomach swirl with excitement. The crystal clear tears that ran over your blushed cheeks made him proud. His ego stroked that he made you so pretty. So beautiful and grief stricken.

The fact that he can control your emotions gave him a sense of power. It all became too much around six months ago. You spent more time sad and sorry over him than you were happy with him. Your friends made you block him. Made you get rid of his gifts. His pictures, polaroids and digital, all down the drain. You forced yourself not to care. Not even a second glance at his desperate messages. All the missed calls piled up in your inbox as you watched his name pop up on your phone. All that progress took up most of your days. It all officially ended about four months ago. 

You tried to go on dates and find someone to fill that void that he left behind but no one could compare. The amount of times your friends pounded into your head that he wasn’t good enough never worked. The small voice in your head overshadowed the loud ones of your friends. 

Was it surprising that he was in your bed again, hanging onto you like a lifeline, making you feel warm? Definitely not.

Your body rested against the soft plush of your bed, covers engulfing your presence as he did the same. The soft smell of his lingering cologne after a long day filled the soft ambiance. Moonlight spilling from the window in your bedroom. His arms wrapped around your waist as his head found comfort on your chest. His eyes stared into the somewhat dark abyss and his fingers drew soft oblong shapes on your side. The silence was comfortable only because speaking would be the opposite.

The prolonged minutes ticked by, second after second. The feeling of his skin on yours quickly became irritating as your mind left the love filled haze. He felt it too. He made that abundantly clear once he turned over, away from you, with the maximum space your bed allowed. You were thinking with your head for once and not your heart. What the fuck. All the love songs and long lectures from your friends should’ve convinced you not to let this man into your home again. 

But it felt like an obligation.

All the nights you and him spent just laughing and having a good time. Along with the nights filled with screaming matches and lingering anger. Some of that anger was still there. It was left at a simmer but now it was boiling. Your mind was deciding between loving him, physically at least, or making him leave. Was it really love anymore or are you just aching to feel something? You heard the jingle of his keys in his hands and your head snapped towards him.

Is he really leaving now? You haven’t even done anything yet. Asshole.

“What are you doing?” Your voice broke the silence.

“Leaving.” He murmured as if he was scared to break the silence even more.

“Why?”

“Do you want me to stay?” He inquired.

No… maybe… yes.

“Would that change anything?” You asked.

“Maybe we’ll be out of breath later but other than that… not really.” He spoke.

“Then take these with you, I’m not gonna use them.” You threw a box of unopened Trojans at him.

He caught and inspected it. “Why not? Don’t tell me you’re just rolling the dice now. I’ll be disappointed.” He said.

His tone almost made your expression falter. “No… I just don’t need them.”

He stood up and slipped his shoes on. His keys slipped into his back pocket before he adjusted his belt. His expression was dull. Almost lifeless. “Hey…” He whispered with an exhale of a breath. “Be careful and take care of yourself, alright?”

You’d probably get permanent wrinkles with how hard your furrowed your eyebrows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, I just–,” He let out a sigh. “Forget it.”

You watched as he neared your bedroom door. His shoes scraped against the wood flooring that wasn’t covered in a rug. His eyes lingered on your expression, the same expression he  relished in previously but this time it did nothing. Not an ounce of pride that once filled him when you were hurt. He just looked shallow.

You stood from your bed. “What is up with you?” You sneered. The tone was harsh but you didn’t regret it this time. “Seriously, you’re acting like a weirdo.”

His expression grew annoyed, a small flourish of your heart with it. “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing, forget it.” You mocked his previous remark.

Minutes ticked by faster now. More insults and innuendos were flying through the air. Lord knows your neighbors would be pissed the next morning with the amount the yelling had grown. The thought of leaving left both of your minds for the time being.

You wound up in your bed again under different circumstances. The so-called ‘right’ circumstances. Clothes were at the foot of your bed along with his shoes and keys.

“You just had to open your mouth, huh?” He sneered as he pulled your hips up, forcing your back into a deep arch that felt so good with an ounce of discomfort. He pulled a condom from the box you threw at him early. “Looks like you’re gonna be using them after all.”

“Shut up already.” You said. All quippy remarks left your mind for the time being. The cool night air caused goosebumps on your flushed skin. 

You heard the wrapper tear open and the sound of rubber sliding against his skin. The texture against the curve of your ass as you felt his hands pushing and pulling the fat of it. “Taking your sweet time, aren’t ya?” 

“Let me enjoy this without your annoying voice.’’ He shot back before slipping inside your core, a soft groan left his lips as he savored you like his last fulfilling meal. A muted breath was pushed into the covers as his hand tipped your head down. He gained the will to move ever so slightly. So slow and tantalizing.

You managed to tilt your head to the side so you could breathe and demand. “Oh my god, move already.” You hissed. You caught a glimpse of his hardened expression before your eyes closed from the harsh push of his hips, finally giving you the feeling you’ve ached for months. Sure, you’ve been in this position before, quite literally, but that was with an irrelevant man who managed to get to the finish line after minutes of short strokes with the aid of your own hand.

His tempo became consistent as his hands grabbed at the squish of your hips and ass, the skin on skin contact harmonizing with the soft thump of your headboard against the wall. His quivering breaths revealed that he was feeling the same.

“Fuck…” He drawled out, his fingers gripped your hips. “That’s it.” He murmured as his chest laid on your back. His ears filled with your moans like Beethoven’s classical music. 

You were in a daze before you felt the loss of connection. He manhandled you to straddle his lap. Your centers connected again. He wanted to see your faces, maybe your tits too. “Come on, get moving.” He laughed slightly. Normally, you would’ve smart mouthed him but you were too busy chasing that release you needed.

Your muscles work in unison to achieve it. His head tilted back as he closed his eyes so he could just feel. Feel. Feelings. This is what all this is about. Not emotional feelings but physical.

Your thighs get that lactic burn after a while, movements slowing before your breath becomes labored. How embarrassing on your behalf. 

“Come on, baby. I didn’t come here for a pity fuck.” His smile was devious as he smacked your ass, feeling the ripples underneath his fingers for a split second. “Come on, honey, you can do it. I believe in you.” He mocked.

The feeling of heat in your eyes was familiar. The warning signs of tears. You kept going just to please him. Like you did time and time again. “That’s my girl.” He murmured in satisfaction. A little roll of his hips as a little reward.

He noticed the glassy aspect of your eyes and he felt that pride again. His hands rubbed soothing circles on your hips as he helped you move. He felt your tightness increased and he let a little air through his teeth. The bit of your lip and look of clouded concentration on your face was scrumptious to him. He could eat it, and you, everyday if he could. 

A raspy moan left your lips as your peak heightened. The tie unraveling in your lower abdomen as your legs finally gave out with an extra bounce of steam. He moved you back as he didn’t care about your peak anymore since you oh so obediently found it yourself. His hips brutally attacked yours as he lifted one of your legs on his shoulder, his nails digging into your calf. You were squirming and writhing from the sharp spikes of pleasure. A soft sheen on his body that made him look amazing. 

His free hand grasped yours as he reached his own release. Spilling into the condom as he slowed to a stop. His chest rising and falling with each beat of his rapid heart rate. He pulled his hand away and gave you a soft pat on the thigh before leaning back on his thighs. 

He stood up and ran a hand through his hair before discarding the condom. His weight shifted the mattress as he pulled you over again. The air was humid and skin on skin contact was almost unbearable before he planted a soft kiss on your forehead.

Has he changed? Why is he doing this?  Questions filled your head before he answered them.

“I’m not saying it.” He said firmly before turning his head away from you but still had you in his arms.

‘I love you’ were words he’d never dare to utter.

So much for change.

[ghostofwriting]

Kildare Split Part Three: Bleach

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Chapter 3: Bleach

Note: Hi! I love you all so much, thank you for reading and being absolutely wonderful. Here is Chapter Three, it covers the smau basically up until Rafe blocks Topper. Still no answers on that 💋

Warnings: none, not edited, angst, swearing, sadness, julio.

Word Count: 5,343

Synopsis: Everyone has noticed that there's been a shift in how Kildare Split acts around each other. Rafe and Y/N used to be so close, they were always pictured together, and always shared stories of each other and for the last few years, there has been nothing from them. A behind-the-scenes look at what went down between everyone's favourite band.

Chapter Three: Bleach

That didn’t go how he planned it. He hurt her inconceivable amounts and it’s not going to be easy to get her to forgive him. He needs to work for it, he knows that. Hearing her say that she meant nothing to him when she meant the world to him hurts more than he could have ever imagined. He’s so mad at himself for ever saying those same things to her. He doesn’t deserve her. He knows that too. He’s always been selfish when it comes to her though, he needs her back. He needs to figure out how to talk to her first. 

“Let me get this straight, you told her to listen to your album for what?”

“To understand what I’m feeling.”

“Rafe, the girl doesn’t need to understand what you’re feeling, she needs you to apologize to her.” His dad’s voice comes through the speaker. He was getting ready for bed when Ward called.

“The album is like an apology.” He tells his dad like it’s obvious. 

“Unless you have a song in that thing that says ‘Y/N I’m sorry,’ for 3 minutes straight, she’s not going to hear it as an apology. She’s going to take it as an excuse.”

“I’m just so ashamed, I don’t know how to approach it.” he stares at the phone screen, a picture of his dad and Wheezie stares back at him.

“I miss you, dad.”

“I miss you too, son. You’ll be home soon and we’ll go golfing, how about that?” Rafe smiles softly. 

His relationship with his dad hasn't always been this good. When he chose music over a ‘real’ career, his dad almost disowned him. Y/N had been the one to talk Ward out of it. Giving him a plan that if they didn’t make it in two years, she would drag him back by his ear and make him take over the company. They had to work their asses off but it happened, and Ward had accepted it. It had been a long road, they spent a lot of time not speaking to each other, communicating through Sarah. Ward hadn’t been to a single show before their first album was released. He remembers seeing Ward walk in next to Sarah and feeling his five-year-old self again, prepared to put on the best show for his dad to finally be proud of him. And he was, at the end of the night he hugged Rafe and told him everything he had ever wanted to hear from him. That he was proud of everything he had accomplished, that he was meant to perform, and that he loved him. 

And he owed it all to her. It always goes back to her. 

“That sounds great, Dad.”

“Have you talked to Sofia about this, you know girls, she might have some insight you don’t.”

“I don’t think Sofia’s up to giving me advice about Y/N.

“Rafe, this is only to get her back as your friend, correct? You and Sof are good?” Ward asks, concern lacing his voice.

“Yeah, of course. Sof and I are great.” Denial. Always in denial, Rafe Cameron.

“Okay well, I wish you luck with all of that. Get some rest. I’ll be out in a couple of weeks.”

“Bye Dad, love you,” Ward tells him he loves him too and hangs up. 

+++

Kiara of all people tells her to listen to his album. As if everyone else who’s telling her isn’t enough.

“Hold on, I thought I got you in the divorce?” Kie laughs at her joke. 

“You did, but I think you should listen to what he has to say.”

“Kie, he hasn’t even apologized in person, why should I?” She’s playing with the thread that’s hanging off of the comforter. 

“Because he’s always been better at explaining himself in song.” She says matter of factly.

“This is unbelievable.” Kie groans on the other side of the phone.

“Look, he’s a piece of shit and he was horrible to you. I know that, but god can he write.”

“I know he can. I work with him.” 

“Y/N.”

“Kie.” She mocks 

“Just listen.” She’s shaking her head and rolling her eyes, glad that Kie can’t see her. 

“Okay, whatever, I don't want to talk about this anymore. What happened between you and jayj?”

“Ha! Nope.” She whines, wanting to know the drama between her two friends.

Sarah walks in with Penny in her arms. They had gone for a walk, Y/N citing vocal rest to skip going out in the rain.

“Vocal rest but you’re talking on the phone?” Sarah calls her out.

“My baby!” Sarah drops the small dog on the hotel bed, Penny running into Y/N’s arms.

“Thanks, Sarah.” She pouts at her. 

“So what are we talking about?”

“Trying to get Y/N to listen to ‘Angel.’” Kie’s voice cuts through the speaker.

“Absolutely no use. She won’t.” Sarah says. She nods along agreeing with Sarah. 

It’s not that she can’t listen to the album. She doesn’t want to. Why should she care about whatever he said in the album when he can’t tell her directly? The last time they talked he didn’t say sorry, albeit she didn’t let him say sorry with her whole speech she had been internalizing for three years. Even still, if he had just opened with ‘sorry’ she might have been more inclined to listen to his stupid album. She already knew it was about her, what more could she possibly learn?

So why can’t she get the thought of listening to it out of her head? She’s alone now, her dog next to her, sleeping tucked between her pillow and her neck. Sarah went back to her room a few hours ago and Y/N’s been trying to go to sleep to no avail. 

So she plays the stupid album that she told Rafe to shove up his ass. 

By the end of the album, she’s angry again. It’s great. Of course, it is. It’s him and he’s amazingly talented. Everything he touches turns to gold and she despises him for it. The chord progressions the tempos, the synths. Everything is amazing. Even the stupid lyrics that she wishes she could hate. How dare he be so talented and make her hate him just a fraction less?

The lyrics bother her. ‘I bought a house to live in but you’re the home I’m missin'?’ His fault. ‘I watched the weeks fly by, I’m not myself when you’re not there.’ His fault. Again. ‘I’m not a sentimental guy, I need you in my life.’ Well Rafe Cameron, why do you think she’s not in your life? It’s like he’s trying to hide the fact that he completely obliterated her heart and is pretending that she just walked out on him.

Fuck you, Rafe. You don’t get to pretend.

+++

She hears Topper in the lobby of the hotel. He’s most likely the first one down here, waiting for the rest of them to wake up so they can take the car to the arena. 

She stands off to the side, their manager Ash, handing out their backstage badges. She sees Topper take two from Ash out of the corner of her eye. 

He extends the badge out to her for her to take and offers her a smile. 

“Thanks.” She tells him. 

“I know this is probably a long time coming and not the best place to have this conversation but I’m sorry.” She looks at him eyes wide, she tries to hide her shock, a small frown still visible on her face.

“Thanks.” She says again, not knowing how to respond to him. 

“I know I’ve been a shitty friend. I didn’t know how to act when everything went down. I knew about Sofia and I felt like I betrayed you. You were so hurt and I didn’t deserve your friendship. I let you isolate yourself and I’m sorry. I should have done better.”

She feels her eyes welling up. She won’t let herself cry. Not where anyone could see them.

“Yeah, you have been shitty.”

“Is it too late for you to forgive me?” She shakes her head, launching herself into his arms. Strangely it feels like coming home. She is finally hugging her best friend again. The guy who used to want to fight anyone who even looked at her wrong. 

“I missed you.” she breathes into his shoulder. 

“I missed you too, I’m sorry.” She lets go of him sniffling. She sees unshed tears in his eyes too. 

“It’s going to take some time for me to trust you, but I’ll work on it.”

“I will get on my knees, beg, and cry if you need me to.” She laughs

“I’ll let you know.”

As soon as the other two arrive, their badges are given to them and they all walk towards the car. She usually opts for sitting in the front ever since everything happened between them. She thinks that this time she can sit next to Topper. 

“Hey, Ash?” She calls for her manager's attention, “Mind if you sit in the front this time?” Ash looks at her surprised but nods her head anyway. 

“Of course, go.” She motions for Y/N to step into the car, Rafe and Barry look at her questioningly from the very back. She smiles at Topper and sits directly next to him, he offers her one of his airpods and she takes it. He’s listening to something she’s never heard and she doesn’t mind at all. For the first time in a long time, she doesn’t feel like the loneliest person in the car. 

Rafe burns holes into the backs of both their heads. What the fuck is going on?

+++

“So are you going down there for your anniversary?” He hears Sarah ask. She and Y/N are getting their lunch. 

“Ya, it works out perfectly with the tour ending just in time,” Y/N responds, 

“So are you expecting a ring?” His ears perk up at the question, willing everyone around him to shut up so he can hear her answer clearly. 

“I wouldn’t be opposed.” Y/N has a teasing tone to her voice and he feels like throwing up. He gets up from the table where he’s eating with Barry and Topper. His fork clanged against the plate as he stood up and stormed off. He can’t eat with the bile already rising in his throat. What’s wrong with him?

+++

He notices as Topper and Y/N fool around during their private soundcheck. They’re playing off each other, Y/N messing with his guitar as he sings into her microphone. He notices that it’s a little awkward but it’s better than it has been in years. He gives Barry another questioning look and Barry just shrugs. He makes a note to ask Topper what happened. 

“I can’t hear myself in my left ear, I just hear Barry’s excessive screeching,” Y/N speaks into her microphone at one of the sound techs. 

“Oh, I’m sorry we can’t all be professionally trained singers, princess.” Y/N scoffs. 

“You’re in a band Barry, maybe learn how to sing.”

“Why are you being such a bitch right now?”

“Hey!” Topper yells turning towards Barry, “cut that shit out.” Barry makes a face at Topper but drops it. 

“What the fuck is going on with you two?” Rafe asks, done with waiting to ask Topper after soundcheck. 

“Just have her back, man.”

“Since when?” He raises an eyebrow. 

“Since he apologized, maybe you should learn how to do that.” She purses her lips and instead of being annoyed, he can’t stop thinking about how cute she looks.

“I tried to apologize and all you did was yell at me for 10 minutes.”

“You didn’t try to apologize, Rafe! You tried to get me to listen to your album.”

“If you would have just heard me out.”

“What? I would know that you’re so apathetic it’s pathetic but you need me now? Or how about that you’re down on your hands and knees Beggin' me please, baby.”

“You listened.” He feels a sense of relief overtake him which is quickly washed away by her tone.

“Under duress.”

“What did you think?”

“I think it’s bold to sing songs about me when your girlfriend is ready to marry you.” He wants to deny that any of the songs are about her. It doesn’t work like that. Everyone knows. Instead of denying it or calling her conceited for thinking it’s about her, another question rises up and out of his mouth before he can stop it.

“Are you?”

“What?” She asks, confused. He wants to keep his mouth shut. Why does he need to know anything, why does he want to hurt his feelings so badly?

“Ready to marry him?” Oh, he’s so stupid.

“Yeah.” There is no hesitation in her answer and his heart breaks a little.

“Great.” He says shortly.

“Great.” She turns away from him and back to her microphone, talking to the tech until he gets the volume in her left ear right. He storms off the stage shoving his guitar into Topper’s chest, narrowly missing Topper’s guitar. 

+++

“What’s your problem?” They’re waiting to be called to the stage for their second soundcheck with the fans. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You have been insufferable all day, more than usual. I can usually ignore you, I’ve been doing it for a really long time but you’re all pouting and grumbling. What’s wrong with you?”

“How could you forgive Topper and not me?”

“I haven’t forgiven Topper, but he apologized for everything, it’s more than you have ever done.”

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out.

“Rafe. Stop.” She goes to walk away but he grabs her arm, stopping her. 

“What? You beg me to apologize and now you don’t want to hear it?”

“I didn’t want to beg you for it, I wanted you to apologize because it’s the right thing to do.”

“I know that I haven’t been a good friend to you. I’ve been so absent from our friendship. I let people get in the way of us and I self-sabotaged and pushed you away.”

“Rafe please.”

“I think that I pushed you away because I couldn’t be with you but I couldn’t be your friend.”

She holds her breath, waiting for what he says next. 

“I couldn’t be just your friend because I was in love with you.”

“And I’m stupid okay? I’m the biggest idiot in the entire world for saying the things that I said to you.” He pauses to gauge her reaction. She’s looking directly at him, her gaze not faltering.

“You were never just someone I fucked. You weren’t some girl or someone who didn’t mean anything to me. You are the girl, you mean everything to me. You always have. And I am sorry. I am so sorry that I ever said those things.”

“Why did you?”

“I was terrified. It’s an excuse I know. The way I treated you should have never happened but- I just- I was so scared to ruin our careers and take away what we had been working for since we were practically babies. The work that you put into the band and I was just being so careless with it, I could have ruined everything. I didn’t know how to deal with that and being in love with you and high all the time. I couldn’t do it.”

“You got clean right after.” 

“I knew that sabotaging us was the first step to me ruining everything else and I needed to make the sacrifice worth it so I got clean.”

“I’m a sacrifice. You sacrificed our friendship to keep the band but if you had just talked to me we could have decided together. We could have made something work.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” They hear the five-minute to curtain call announcement and Y/N sighs.

“Do you think you could ever forgive me?” He asks her, hopeful.

“I don’t know. You hurt me more than anyone ever has.” She shrugs.

“fuck, b- Y/N I’m so sorry. You have to believe me.” She nods.

“I think I do. I need time. I need to get used to the idea of letting you back into my life before I do.”

“Okay, yeah. What can I do?” He feels hopeful for the first time since he started trying to get her to talk to him. 

“Just give me space for now. I’ll let you know.” She walks past him towards Topper. That’s a good start, he thinks. 

+++

“Baby!” She yells as she gets off stage, running into Julio’s arms. His flight had been delayed so she didn’t get to see him before the show. 

His arms wrap around her waist as he lifts her off the ground, spinning her around. 

“When did you get here?” She asks him, kissing his lips before he answers. 

“Just as you started the second song.” He pulls away to answer but buries his head in her neck, kissing her. 

“Thank you for coming. I missed you so much.” She tells him, still not letting go. 

“Always.” He pecks her lips again as the rest of the band comes up behind her. 

“Hey, guys.” Julio greets them the best he can with a Y/N-sized necklace still hanging off him. 

“Hey, man!” Topper taps him on the shoulder as he passes by him. Barry mumbles a ‘hey’ and Rafe just nods, his jaw tight. 

+++

Julio had only been here for one night and already he knew everything that Rafe had told Y/N, Which is how he found himself sitting alone with the man in the green room.

“Y/N told me what you told her last night.” He really doesn’t want to have to explain to Y/N why her boyfriend is on the floor bleeding but if he throws the first punch, Rafe is only defending himself. 

“Yeah?” He looks up from his phone and at Julio.

“Look, you hurt her. A lot. To the point where she thought she had no one because of you. She cried herself to sleep every day because of how alone she felt.” Rafe’s stomach churns at his words.

“I’m going to make it up to her.” He puts his phone down next to him. 

“And you better mean it. Don’t lead her on. Be honest with her. Do not hurt her again.” 

“I won’t.” He assures him.

“Good.” He thinks the conversation is over but Julio speaks up again.

“Rafe, I know how you feel about her. You need to back off. I love her. And she loves me. I will be here until she no longer wants me. Please don’t get in the way of that.”

“I’m engaged.”

“That doesn’t change the way you look at her. Your heart isn’t in it. Respect my relationship and I will respect you.” 

“You don’t have anything to worry about. I just want my friend back.” It’s not like she would take him back anyway. Even if he wanted to.

“Okay.” Cleo and Pope walk in to save him from the awkward silence. 

“I’m going to head out.” He picks up his phone and stands up from where he was sitting on the couch.

“Nice talking to you,” Julio calls.

“Yeah, you too.” He all but runs out of the room on a mission to find Sarah.

+++

Sarah Cameron is not one to spread rumours. She’s very much the type to wait for confirmation. She blames the circumstances and constant stress she’s under juggling her brother’s stupid feelings with Y/N’s and vice versa. 

There has been way too much talk about marriage, Sofia finally arrived and all she can talk about is wedding dresses and the caterer and the first dance and Sarah is exhausted. And of course, Rafe is panicking about things he really shouldn’t be worried about like ‘Oh is Y/N getting married? Sarah, she said that she was ready.’ and Y/N herself teased that she wanted the ring and she wouldn’t say no if Julio proposed. So what is Sarah supposed to think when she hears Y/N squeal from her dressing room as she screams “Yes! Of course, I’ll marry you.” Sarah is tired. 

She should have known there wasn’t an actual proposal when it happened in the dressing room of all places. She knows Julio, he’s a romantic guy, thinking back on it, there’s no way he would have proposed like that. Again, Sarah’s tired and she’s not thinking and she needs to tell someone and the first person she sees. Barry. Bad idea. 

“Julio just proposed to Y/N and she said yes.” The information spills out of her mouth, it takes Barry a moment to process what she said but once he gets it he’s laughing. 

“Shit. That’s going to kill him.” Fuck. Rafe. She hadn’t even thought of her brother’s reaction. She wants to be the one to tell him but he’s out with his trainer. She has to make sure no one tells him before she does. 

“Topper!” She runs down the hall towards him.

“What’s up, why are you like sweating?” She waves him off.

“When does Rafe get back?”

“An hour still.”

“Shit.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Y/N just got engaged and I need to be the one to break the news to him.” 

“Holy shit. Good for her. Where is she?” Sarah shakes her head at him. 

“That’s not the point, I need you to find out where Rafe is training so I can find him.”

“He’s probably running laps outside or at a nearby park.”

“Do you have his location?” 

“No, security list.”

“Oh my god! I hate that you’re all famous sometimes.” She says through gritted teeth. 

“I need to find John B. Make sure Rafe doesn’t find out!” She says running off down the hall again. 

“Find out what?” Sofia’s voice comes from behind him. 

“Jesus, Sofia, be louder next time.”

“Sorry. What’s going on?”

“Oh, nothing. Y/N just got engaged and Sarah doesn’t want anyone to know yet.’

“Fun! Congratulations to them, that’s so exciting!” He sees her pull out her phone and walk in the direction of the busses.

“See you, Top!”

“On the bus?” He asks her. 

“Yeah.” She gives him a toothy grin. 

Shit. Topper thinks. She’s going to tell Rafe. 

+++

Kyle had just made him run way too much. Keeping up his stamina was important to perform every night. This time though Kyle really wanted to kill him. 

“You hate me, man.” He says opening up his phone. Kyle laughs. 

“You did great.” He tells him as they start their walk back to the arena. 

He has a few notifications from Instagram from friends back home sending him reels and Wheezie tagging him in stories. He swipes out of Instagram and goes on to his Twitter quickly checking to see if the lineup for the show had started already, trying to see which way they took back to the arena without being seen. 

Something catches his eye as he scrolls past it, he scrolls back up trying to find the pink icon. 

‘@KSUpdates: 💍💍💍’ He reads through the other tweets wondering what that’s all about, were they promoting something he forgot about? He keeps scrolling until he sees someone say that Y/N’s engaged. He stops where he is, Kyle looking at him questioningly. 

“You okay?” His head is spinning, his heart is racing faster than when he was working out, and he feels like throwing up. No, he’s not okay. 

“I need to go.” He starts booking it to the arena, Kyle trailing behind him. 

He has three unanswered texts from Sarah, a call from Topper, and one from Kelce by the time he makes it back to the arena. He says bye to Kyle and rushes to the bathroom. He’s going to throw up, he feels lightheaded. 

He didn’t realize how not okay he was with losing her forever right until this moment. He couldn’t face it for the longest time. He loves Sofia. He does. She has been important to him, his growth, and his life, she’s been an amazing partner. But that’s all she’s been. A friend. Because he couldn’t give her his heart. Not when Y/N was out there already walking around with it. She had never given it back. She owned it, owned him. He knew that now. With every fibre in his being, he knew that he was still in love with her. And she was marrying someone else. He was losing her. 

His breathing feels laboured. He feels the room continue spinning, he slides down the bathroom wall trying to keep the panic attack at bay. How could he be so stupid? How could it take him so long to realize that he couldn’t live without her no matter how hard he tried? It would always be her. 

He hears his phone ringing again but ignores it. He needs to get his breathing under control before he can talk to anyone. They can’t know he’s losing it. 

He needs to do something. He needs to get his shit under control and talk to Y/N. He hasn’t had a panic attack in so long. He’s not used to dealing with it. He needs to find Barry first. 

+++

She’s in one of her moods again, every time Julio leaves she gets sad and it takes her a day or two to get back into the swing of things. It’s been a week since she had asked Rafe for space. She thinks that she’ll be able to work towards forgiving him or at least putting the past behind her. After talking to Cleo, Sarah, and Julio, they had all given her the same advice. Do what she believes is the best next step for her. 

She notices Sarah hovering over Rafe like a mother hen, checking in on him, asking him if he’s okay every two seconds. She doesn’t know what happened but Topper had told her he went missing for the entire day until their show. And she’s pretty sure he showed up high. She’s scared for him. He’s been clean for so long that getting into drugs again now could shock his system. He’s not her responsibility anymore but she cares if he lives or dies. 

That same day that Rafe went missing, everyone was congratulating her for being engaged. The updates account had hinted at her being engaged too, she doesn’t know where they got that information, she not only had to tweet, she had to tell the entire team that no, she was not engaged. 

It had been a stupid misunderstanding that Sarah had apologized for a significant amount. Cleo had asked Julio how he would propose so Julio had set the scene for her and gotten down on one knee and Y/N had played along. Stupid and dumb. 

She’s reading a contract for a new magazine shoot she’s doing when Rafe comes up to her. 

“Hey.” He seems anxious. He can’t seem to stand still and his hair’s a mess.

“Hi, you good?” She asks him. 

“No.” She gives him her full attention now. Wondering what he’s about to say to her. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m selfish.” She doesn’t like the tone he says it in. Like he knows he’s about to tell her something he shouldn’t.

“Whatever you’re about to say don’t.” She goes back to her contract, staring at it blankly.

“When I thought you were engaged-”

“Rafe. Enough.”

“I had never felt so heartbroken in my life.” She’s shaking her head at him, trying to get him to stop.

“And I thought, I have to stop this now. I have to do whatever I can to stop it before it goes too far and I have to ruin your wedding. Because I would. Because I’m selfish.” She doesn’t know what to say to that so she says the first thing that comes to mind.

“It’s too late.”

“It doesn’t have to be.” There’s desperation in his voice, his eyes glassy.

“You’re engaged!” She yells, getting up and in his face.

“No, I love you.”

“I love Julio.”

“I love you.”

“Stop!” She turns her back to him and tries to find her breath.

“None of that changes how I feel. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to figure myself out.” She feels him behind her, looming over her shoulder.

“Why are you telling me any of this?”

“I can’t lose you. And that’s what’s happening because I’m an idiot. But I can’t lose you and I’m going to fight for you.” She turns around to face him, taking a step back, creating distance between them.

“There’s no fighting for me. We’re done. We’ve been over for so long. For three years I only spoke to you on stage or in interviews! There’s no us.”

“Tell me you don’t love me.”

“Rafe.” Her voice is firm but he doesn’t care.

“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll go. I’ll leave you alone and you won’t ever have to see me again.”

“Not possible. The band.” She doesn’t know why she needs to make sure the band is safe in this moment, so much has happened between them to keep it alive, it can’t be at risk now.

“Outside of that then. Tell me.” She stays quiet, shaking her head once more.

“Please.” She snaps.

“I was in love with you for years! Since I was 13 years old you have lit up my goddamn world and when you finally gave me that chance, when you started looking at me like we could be something you ripped it all away. You hurt me so much and now? Now is when you want to come back and tell me everything I’ve been hoping for for years. Now when you’re getting married and I’m in a happy relationship?” She finishes, her chest heaving anger leaving her body in droves.

“You’re not in a happy relationship.”

“Rafe.” Her tone is warning him to not continue.

“Come on!  He doesn’t understand you the way I do! Doesn’t understand the life we live, and the sacrifices we have made to be where we are. He’s not good enough for you.”

“And you are?” 

“No.” She throws her hands up, “but, I understand you. I know who you are at your core, baby.” 

“Stop.” She’s sure she’s shooting daggers at him now.

“Why?”

“You don’t get to call me that.”

“No, why are you with him?” He’s close to her again, she can feel his breath hitting her face.

“Because.”

“Because what?”

“Because I love him!” Rafe’s face falls. She exhales. “I love him.”

“No, you don’t.” She stays quiet. 

“You can’t.” He backs up a little, his head shaking, eyes sad.

“Rafe,” she says softly, stepping closer to him. She reaches out but pulls her arm away quickly.

“It’s too late.” She repeats her words from earlier.

“But I love you.” She doesn’t want to hurt him but she knows she has to put an end to this.

“I don’t love you.”

“I’m so stupid. Oh my god, how did I ever let you go? I’m an idiot th-“ she cuts him off putting a hand on his arm.

“Hey hey, stop. It’s okay. We’ll get through this.”

“How?” Tears are threatening to spill over now. His eyes are red. She doesn’t know if it’s from holding back tears or from smoking.

“By being friends.” His blue eyes pierce into hers.

“I’ll try.”

“Okay.” There are a lot of things left unsaid between them. She hugs him for the first time in years and he puts his face in the crook of her neck. She feels him crying. His tears soaking her neck.

“I love you.” She does too. Not in the way that he wants. Not anymore.

“I know.”

[reidspharb]

The Moment I Knew

*Part two

Summary: Spencer misses your 25th birthday and that’s when you realize your relationship can’t be fixed.

Word count: 800 or something idk ICBA shes a short one

Warnings: angst, Reid is a shitty boyfriend in this one

Note: hi this was written at 3 am and I’m new to writing so if this sucks sorry anyways but I got this idea from Taylor Swifts song by the Same name and I thought I would write it so yeah enjoy

Sure, you were so happy all your friends were there and everyone was having a good time… but you couldn’t help but think about Spence.

It was 10 pm, the party started at 8 and he still wasn’t there like he promised. You couldn’t help but think about him coming through the door right now, gifts in hand as he did on your last birthday with that baby I’m right here smile.

You knew he couldn’t be here, and you knew how much he valued his work, but, he wasn’t even on a case far away… he was here, in Virginia, and he couldn’t even call to wish you a happy birthday.

Your eyes were locked on the door most of the time as you socialized. People asked about him, about your relationship, and the most you could give them was a sad smile and a dishonest word about how great everything was going.

“So how have you been,” your friend Sarah said as she laughed and took a sip of her drink “I mean I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!”

you plastered on the brightest fake smile you could and mustered up an answer just normal enough to get you by.

“I've been okay, you know, with work and everything.”

All you could think about was him, how he said he would be there. He told you- no he promised you weeks in advance that he would be here. But he’s not.

You felt stupid, standing there all dolled up in your tight black dress and red lipstick. You thought maybe if you dressed up nice he would make sure to be there, but then again, there you were with no one to impress.

You knew it was hopeless, there you were on your birthday staring at the door and watching the clock tick as everyone around you danced and laughed. You looked around the room, trying to spot him in the crowd but who were you fooling, you knew he wasn’t there.

As you listened to your loved ones sing happy birthday around you, you could only hear his voice in your memory. When you blew out those candles your only wish was for him to be there with you. You should’ve been so happy, but he was the one thing missing.

Then it was 1 am, and you were barely tipsy. you already had a nervous stomach, you knew drinking would only make it worse. By now you were sick of everyone being around you, you just wanted to be alone. You stumbled to the bathroom over some discarded red cups and locked yourself in there, tears burning at your eyes when you saw yourself in the mirror.

You did your makeup the way he liked it too so that if you sent pictures he really wouldn’t miss it, such a naive thing to think you told yourself. You heard a knock on your door and there were your two best friends, Tegan and Oliver, mixed with the emotions of seeing them staring at you with so much pity in their eyes and Spencer being away made you break down.

Tegan held you as you sobbed, mascara dripping down your cheeks with every tear.

“He said- he said he would be here…”

“I'm so sorry, love bug, I wish I could grab him and rip him into pieces. You deserve so much better.” Said Oliver, holding your cold hands.

You felt so embarrassed, sitting there in front of your friends crying about some stupid boy. But he was the one who meant the most to you and he wasn’t there.

The next morning you woke up on your couch, head pounding. Your apartment was trashed, there were plastic cups scattered all over the room. As you stepped over them to get ready for the day, you felt a sharp pain in your chest as you heard Spencer’s familiar ringtone playing from your phone.

“Hey doll, it’s me” he sighed on the other line of the phone.

“Hi, Spencer.” You mumbled. You knew it would hurt to say his whole name instead of the nickname you’d been calling him since the day you met him.

“I'm so sorry I didn’t make it babe I was caught up in paperwork and I lost tra-“ you interrupted his rambling, you didn’t care anymore.

“It’s fine. I’ll talk to you later Spencer.” You hissed into the phone before hitting the red button on the screen and setting your phone back down on the counter.

That was the moment you knew.

That was the moment you knew that this would never work out.

[bitterbutblue]

himeko angst..

we're scattered pieces in the universe ☆ himeko x reader

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

~ HI GUYS SORRY FOR DYING i was focused on that series but it will not be updated until next week but i wanna keep yall fed so here is a short himeko one shot because i want himeko to have more attention i love himeko so much

song: stardust love song - JIHYO ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

Can we talk?

The three words still send shivers down her spine, despite it being over a year since they were last said to her. It had been over a year since you called her and asked her to talk. It had been over a year since you suddenly started acting different one day. It had been over a year since you left.

She finds herself lost in her thoughts over a cup of coffee. As the express continues its journey upwards, she finds herself spiralling downwards. The song that plays softly over the stereo was a song you once waltzed to with her, and she still sees the sparkle in your eyes as you kissed her hand- soft lips brushing against her silk glove, warmth blooming from her chest as you look back up at her again. She doesn't turn the song off, rather basking in feeling of a dull blade cutting and carving into her heart.

To keep the Astral Express running was already enough, but to have to deal with the aftermaths of losing you was worse. Welt saw Himeko through it all, the days where she couldn't leave her room or even get out of bed. Welt had to watch Himeko pick herself back up from torn pieces, rebuilding herself from a person who loved too much to a person who regretted loving.

"It was my fault."

He remembers the conversation distinctly. A starry galaxy in front of them as he pours her another cup of coffee. The emptiness of what lies ahead of them is daunting, but at the same time the emptiness is fuller than they could've ever imagined.

"It... it was a simple mistake that could've been avoided if I had just talked to her-"

The cup trembled in her tight grip as she takes a shaky breath in.

"Was it my fault?"

Welt mused over that for a while, the two basking in silence.

"I think we all make mistakes." He said softly "We can't grow if we don't."

"I could've kept loving her if I had just-"

"But there's no point in thinking about all that." Welt looked over at Himeko, placing a hand on her knee to stop it from bouncing up and down "It has already unfolded, and you need to take the next steps forwards- not backwards. Going backwards would only make you feel worse."

She put the cup down, unshed tears finally falling but she didn't sob. She just let the tears fall, one by one, as Welt held her hand tightly.

"I don't want to talk, or be friends anymore."

The text message was like taking a dull knife to an already beaten and bruised body, and stabbing it repeatedly until all that's left is a mangled corpse. She broke down in her cabin, loud enough for Welt to hear, loud enough for Dan Heng to grow worried. She tried to send you a text only for it to not go through, and when she refreshed the chat your profile picture was gone.

She pulled herself together after a minute or two, a panging feeling in her chest.

You don't deserve to feel upset about this.

So she holds it in. She refused to let herself cry and she never thought about that evening ever again. But you can't build a puzzle if some of the pieces are still missing- and her missing pieces are still with you. To not process it, she finds herself to be still holding on to you. The guilt that eats her up every time she sees something that reminds her of you, the wave of sadness that briefly washes over her when she wants to show you something because she knows you'd love it only to realise you're simply not there. She still holds onto every trace despite telling herself she's over it.

When she lies in bed next to a stranger, having revealed her most intimate, she still finds herself thinking that stranger is you. She still finds herself believing that the one who she holds in her arms isn't a drunk woman she talked to at a bar, but that it was you. But it would never be. When she wakes up the next day, she sees a stranger and a shadow.

As the song on the stereo comes to an end, she puts the now-empty cup down. She wonders how you're doing still, and she wonders if you hate her for what she did.

But you don't hate her, you never could. Yet you knew you would never talk to her again.

[wqnwoos]

seventeen — vocal unit as your boyfriend

okay so technically i already did this in dating hyung line / maknae line but — part 2 i guess? requested by @glowunderthemoon 💗

jeonghan

evil!!!!! likes to play around with you so much

especially if you guys are playing games or something he just makes up rules that get wilder and wilder until you draw the line

apologises to you afterwards w backhugs and kisses on your neck but he’s still giggling so how sorry is he really?

sends you all his boyfriend photos and then when he finds out one of them is your lockcreen he’s sooooo cocky about it (“i didn’t know you liked me that much” “jeonghan we have been dating for two years”)

takes you shopping but then gets antsy if you guys stay too long in one shop 😭 he won’t hurry you but he’ll just be shifting around awkwardly until ur done

has unflattering pictures of you as his lock screen. think fast asleep mouth open drooling a little. that’s his lockscreen and he won’t change it no matter how much u ask (he actually thinks it’s adorable)

gives you bites of his food without you even asking

joshua

takes loads of random selfies on your phone,,, like you open the photos app and ur like ?????? because suddenly there are 78 new photos of his face that you definitely did not take

gets sulky if you leave him to go out with friends or something 😭 ofc he’s just kidding but he dramatically throws an arm over his face and pouts (“i thought you loved me!!!!” “joshua you don’t even like this restaurant” “what if i changed my mind????” “we tried it last week!!!!”)

i feel like he’s the worst to have by ur side in an awkward situation bc you guys look at each other and you’re suddenly trying to hold back your laughter SOOOO bad and there’s not even anything funny😭

or if you’re talking to someone annoying he just stands behind them and makes faces to try and get you to crack tf up

tries to learn your favourite song on the guitar and then when you’re like “show me :))” he just starts playing sunday morning

woozi

omfg. the SWEETEST.

i think i said this in the other one but lets you play with his equipment and teaches you how to make basic beats and stuff (if u don’t know already) — tells u things like “good job!!” when you finish one

he’ll let you do whatever you want for dates and go along with it because you want to do it even if he’s reluctant <3333

if you don’t watch anime congratulations now you do!!!!! catch him at the right moment he’s gonna give you the rundown on all his favourites and the plots and the characters and everything (like his six hour live omfg)

genuinely believe he really is not cold as a boyfriend i think that is a Misconception — i saw this post the other day and HARD AGREE like this is mr i love my team i love my crew we are talking about ??? the same man who wrote darling which is arguably one of their sweetest songs????????

dk

i’m convinced this man is an angel ? he acts like your guardian angel anyway he takes care of you so hard it’s crazy

he makes sure u eat well and u rest well and everything omg :(

also feel like he randomly bursts into a skit in the kitchen and you hAVE to play along you have to get invested!!!!!

also just a sidenote can u imagine just being in the same house as him and you can just hear him singing from the other room :( i am so sad :(

i feel like he takes note of what you really like and remembers (or notes it down). like if you have flowers in a vase the first time h comes over you best believe he’s going to keep that vase STOCKED for however long

even if he’s away or on tour or something you’d still get weekly deliveries with a card or something AHHHHHH

compliment battles 😭 even if you just say something small (“i like your hair today”) he immediately returns the compliment x10 until eventually you guys are just arguing about who’s sweeter or something weird which just ends in giggles once you realise how loud he’s saying “oh yeah? well your eyes are even prettier!!!”

seungkwan

MY LOVELY SEUNGKWAN 😭💗😭💗 convinced he’s sooo boyfriend material

like the most caring kindest sweetest boyfriend he texts you reminders every day (“don’t forget to eat~” “drink some water please~”) HES SO CUTE 😭

randomly squishes your cheeks and goes “pretty” and then moves on like nothing happened but gets so flustered if you do it back 😭 acts annoyed but he kinda loves it <3

if you’re cooking with music on you’re not getting him out that kitchen he is dancing like there’s no tomorrow !!!!! makes you join him and teaches you the steps if you don’t know them already until both of you are just giggling messes and oh fuck the food’s going to burn

wants your approval for every outfit and hairstyle 😭 the stylist is about to dye his hair and he holds up a hand like. “WAIT.” and facetimes you quickly like “hi baby what do you think about dark blue hair???”

and if you tell him something like “seungkwan you’re always handsome” he just clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes 😭😭 “just tell me yes or no!!!”

[star-dust-shark]

do you have any funny will solace headcanons to share?

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED!!!

. Will named his guitar Gary ( Gary Guitar ) and so he'll randomly be like "yeah I'm gonna go play with Gary" and people get confused because he has a boyfriend

. he wears crocs with socks and has croc charms that say the cheesiest shit with inpirational quotes, your mom jokes, song lyrics and bisexual pride stuff

. he's got like a million pickup lines that he'll randomly spring on Nico ( bonus: he does finger guns and clicks his tongue afterwards usually following with a horribly done wink )

. he gets obsessed with people sometimes ( almost like a hyperfixation but with something real ) and will start droning on about how beautiful Nico is

. a stim of his is to excitedly fan himself but he always plays it off that he's fanning himself bc he's so hot

. you can't find a picture of him making a normal face it's not possible

. he gets the words marshmellow and mushroom mixed up so he'll acccidentally tell people that he went marshmellow picking or that he wants marshmellows on his pizza

. he gets those really annoying shirts with horrible slogans like "I'm a master baiter" with a fish on it, "I <3 HOT DADS" , and "if you can read my shirt good job you're reading my shirt"

. when he plays a A minor chord every fucking time he'll either say "a minoooooooor" ( like from not like us ) or he'll say "haha guys look I'm fingering a minor"

. he has like twenty thousand pieces of rocky horror picture show merch and he spends like all of his money on said merch

. he'll listen to a song and pick out the most romantic parts and tell Nico that it reminds him of him but Will really likes Alex G and Corbon Amodio and Cavetown so it's sweet and weirdly sad at the same time

. he can do really really good star wars character impressions ( specifically darth vader, chewbaka, and yoda ) and he'll scare the shit out of people by randomly making the yoda vs dooku noise ( if you're a real one you'll know what I mean by that )

. sometimes he'll talk to ananimate objects and make them talk back to him and one day Nico walks in on him talking to a pen that's stuck in his pencil case and Will yells: "OH MY GODS JUST COME OUT" and then he laughs to himself and does a highpitched voice for the pen and says "I...I'm gay"

. he'll say something flirtatious to Nico and then be like "shit autocorrect" DURING A VERBAL CONVERSATION.

. copes with humour so he'll randomly start playing blackbird by the beatles on guitar in a horrible voice and be like "haha get it because I have trauma with birds"

. jokingly says he's transphobic because he's from Texas so out of nowhere he'll be like "eeEEwwww TRaNs pEoPLe TheY'Re So GroSSSsssSs"

. calls Nico gay as an insult and Nico will be like "Will we've been dating for months"

. says no homo after like hot make out sessions with Nico ( scene: Nico and Will sitting in a bed shirts off with hickeys all over eachother and Will just out of no where "haha no homo though" end scene )

. uses gen alpha slang a ton ( like too much ) so he'll randomly yell "GYAT" at Nico or say that something's sigma

. has braces but eats popcorn and then spends hours trying to get bits out

. MAKES SO MANY 69 JOKES ITS HORRIFYING

I have more too

[goodluckclove]

I have a theory that being angry and complaining online is the default for most because it's inherently scarier to be earnest and vulnerable. So I invite whoever reads this to reblog and tell me about something you love un-ironically that doesn't make you look more intelligent or conventionally hip.

The rules are if I see anyone giving each other shit over a thing someone likes I'm going to send them an ask that's just a picture of wet, sad cat with zero context. Same if someone claims that they like to complain and it's their god-given right to do it as often as they like and wherever they want. Of course you do. It is not interesting to defend your right to talk about all the small things you hate when no one is really challenging them in the first place. You can complain forever until you die and that's totally fine.

Anyways I'll start.

I love Jimmy Buffett.

It's not because his music is so bad I think it's amusing. I actually think his music is really good. If he was still alive I'd absolutely spend money on a Jimmy Buffett concert because that sounds like a super fun time.

Fruitcakes is a fucking banger. Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On is only one of his many songs that give big Good Dad energy when shit is rough. People mostly only know him for Cheeseburger in Paradise - but honestly? That rocks too. Sometimes I also want a cheeseburger.

People try to give me shit because he sold his likeness to the Margaritaville restaurants and hotels. I'm not even upset about this. The man struggled to be financially stable enough to play music in the beginning of his career, and sold his name to get money to make music and play concerts. He did a good handful of charity shows. He delivered tents to Haiti after the earthquake. He's not like known for philanthropy, but the vibe I get from him is that he's a pretty good guy who just wanted to make music and hang out with his loved ones.

He was literally in the middle of finishing an album when he died last year. He just made music as often as he could right up until it was his turn to go. His last words, according to one of his daughters, were have fun.

You can tell me you don't like his music, but you can't listen and tell me you don't think he'd be a fucking chill hang when the only real answer I got from searching "Jimmy Buffett controversy" is that he got caught with a bunch of ecstacy in '06 and paid a fine before being released. I don't even do ecstacy but holy shit my one exception would be trying it with Jimmy Buffett can you imagine??

Anyways. Your turn, friends.

[bluehourbucky]

Surprise

rockstar!dad!bucky x f!momreader

summary: last show of Buckys tour where he gets a special surprise

part of the same universe as Love from afar but can be read as standalone

a/n: so I'm kinda soft for rockstar dad bucky you might see more of him in the future I already have 2 more fic ideas sushdbbd

main masterlist

bucky masterlist

-more rockstardad!bucky

hope you enjoy! if you have any questions or feedback my asks are open!

DO NOT COPY OR STEAL MY WORK

_________________________________________

Tonight was the last stop of tour, and Bucky was feeling all kinds of things. Nervous, sad that the tour was done, but also incredibly happy to finally get home to his pregnant wife and two boys.

"Good evening everybody!" Bucky yells into the mic and does a riff on his guitar.

"Tonight is the last show-" before he finishes he's cut off by screams of "noo" of their fans.

"I know, I know. This tour has been a real dream come true. I wanna thank everyone who's here tonight and everyone who saw our show in the last six months. And of course, to those who support us from afar."

Bucky stops talking and looks at the huge stadium screaming his name and almost tears up.

"Let's have fun tonight!"

Bucky starts singing the first song, and the crowd goes wild. He loves this so much the adrenaline the energy it makes him feel high.

It's getting close to the end of the show. Only the last song is left, and it's a surprise song for the last show. This song Bucky wrote for you when he was leaving for tour the first time after having a kid. Its not a song they usually play as it is a slow farewell song, but why not.

"Thank you for such an amazing show. You are such an incredible crowd. But can I ask for a little more of your time and energy?!"

The crowd yells out a yes. Bucky and other members of his band smile, him and Steve share a look that says "we made it".

They start singing, and the crowd starts singing the lyrics with them, some people start crying and the stadium is lit up with phone flashlights

When they finish the last song the crowd chants their name.

"Thank you!" Bucky bows lowly.

and then the crowd screams louder and Bucky turns around.

"I know the show is over. But I thought I could ask for one last song?"

Bucky is speechless when he hears your voice, and when he sees his 7 month pregnant wife on stage, he almost collapses. The crowds screaming dies out, and the only thing Bucky sees is you in a pretty purple dress standing a few feet away microphone in your hands.

"So? Just my favourite I'm sure no one would mind? Right Steve?"

Steve smiles at you softly, he knew you were coming and helped you pull this thing off without Bucky knowing.

"What's one more song?" Steve says and starts singing.

Bucky takes the microphone and starts singing to you. He slowly walks over, scared that you'll disappear any second. You wouldn't call this song particularly sweet and romantic since Bucky wrote it about your wild hookups in unconventional places when you were like 18. But still, it remains your favourite song.

By the end of the song, Bucky is close to sobbing he started crying at some point.

"My beautiful wife, everybody!" He says through tears. The crowd has been screaming since you came out on stage.

"Thank you! Sorry to keep you a bit longer I'm sure everybody is very tired. Get home safe." you say and leave the stage waving, but not before kissing Bucky softly and telling him you'll see him in a bit.

While you wait for the show to finish, you log into Buckys Instagram since you don't have your own. Already, there are thousands and thousands of posts about you coming on stage.

Bucky didn't publicly announce the pregnancy, and neither have you. This time, you somehow managed to hide it for so long since the attention was mostly pointed at the tour.

You're sure that by tomorrow, every tabloid will have your picture splattered everywhere but you couldn't care less. What Bucky doesn't know yet is that the boys are here with you and you can't wait to see his face.

"DADDY!" Theo screams and jumps into his fathers arms, and Bucky catches him.

Bucky holds onto his son like he's going to disappear any second.

"What are you doing here? How? When?" Bucky asks in between kisses that he's giving your son.

Leo crawls and hugs Bucky's legs, with Theo still in his arms, Bucky picks up his other son and starts kissing each of their cheeks in turns.

"We wanted to surprise you. I guess it worked, no?" you tease him a little and snap a picture of the sweet scene in front of you.

Somehow, Theo ends up clinging onto his dad's back, which gives Bucky enough space to pull you into a group hug.

"Ew you're sweaty and smell. Theo get down you'll get stinky too."

Bucky doesn't let either of you leave his embrace, and the menace he is, he snuggles Leo even closer to him. You smile into his neck, you missed him so much.

"Alright, I'll go shower, then we can go. Don't go anywhere."

"Daddy wait I'm still here!" Theo screams into Buckys ear trying to get down but Bucky is still holding him.

"Oh right, I guess you're not showering with me." Theo giggles happily and walks over to you.

"The other one too Buck." He rolls his eyes and let's his 3 year old down from his arms.

He doesn't take long, and the four of you are on your way to the hotel.

In the car, boys talk to their father, and Bucky listens very carefully, not to miss a single word.

When you get to the hotel suite, Bucky gets the boys ready for bed and reads them a bedtime story. They fall sleep almost instantly, Theo on his right shoulder and Leo on his left.

Bucky manages to wiggle out without waking them up and makes his way over to you.

"God I love you. You're incredible. How did you even do this we talked this morning and I-" you cut him off with a kiss.

"I love you too. And I can't belive that we've been married for so long and I still get to surprise you." Bucky smiles and put his hand on you belly, feeling the little movement.

"My pretty baby, I'm sorry daddy hasn't talked you I promise I'll make it up to you, I'm gonna be the only thing you hear for forever!" Bucky talks to the baby in your belly.

"I love you more than anything, Bucky I love our family and I missed you so fucking much." you start to tear up, holding onto Buckys hands. It hit you all at once that you're having another baby and that he wasn't there and that you can't believe you found a soulmate.

"Doll, you're my forever. I love you more than there are stars in the universe. I can not thank you enough for being there and supporting me and being the mother of my children. The last 6 months have both been the best and worst of my life. I want you to know that you and the boys were all I could think about. I can not wait to get home, our messy, lively home. Soon, I know we'll be getting zero sleep, and we'll be exhausted, but I will be doing it with you. That makes me extremely happy. You were my dream then, my dream now and my dream forever."

You sob into his chest, holding him tightly, as if he's going to disappear into thin air. The hug is a bit weird as your bump is in the way but it's the thing that you needed the most right now.

"If I could I would fuck you right now you look incredibly sexy." you say through tears and Buckys chest vibrate from the laugh.

"I'll make it up to you my love. I will have you in bed for a week straight, you'll be all mine. My pretty doll." He plants a sweet kiss on top of your head.

"Let's get you in bed. I'm sure you're tired." you only nod and let Bucky take care of you.

When you fall asleep, Bucky is wide awake looking at his beautiful family. He can't wait to get home and take care of you.

[THE END]

*extra*

<breaking news famous singer and guitarist Bucky Barnes is expecting a third child with his wife.>

<we can't get help but feel single when we see this couple! Bucky Barnes and his wife on stage last night! Buckys wife surprised him and requested her favorite song!!>

<after almost a year we see Bucky Barnes' wife and she is very much pregnant! we wish them the best!>

*comments*

omg such goals!

want someone to look at me the way bucky and his wife look at each other!

how does one looks so gorgeous while that pregnant she's literally glowing! Bucky is so lucky!

family goals

[blingblong55]

Stargirl- John Price

Based on a request:

Hi, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to but could you do on John Price x singer // that John goes out with a pop star a bit like Beyonce and goes to her concert;))

F!Reader, singer!reader, established!relationship, fluff, boyfriend!Price

Being in a secret relationship with one of the most famous women in the music industry is not where John Price saw himself. Not being driven by your security team from the hotel to the stadium. He has to wear a cap over his head so fans don't even recognise him while out. Create social media accounts where he only follows you, and likes your pictures and you create a private one, where you display the pictures you so wish to let the world see. Wear a jacket, jeans, and the bracelet you two match. Songs that you write for him, the sad, the love, the sex, the excitement he brings you.

And now, here he is, being escorted to his special spot, fans around the entire stadium but his eyes are on you the entire time. This time, he wears a cap, with your initials on it with a heart. The crowds cheering, dancing and singing along to a song you wrote for him one day. The same one he heard before the world ever even knew it existed. "John, over here!" your family calls for him and he smiles. A sigh of relief once he knows he won't be alone during this night. The dancing happening around the pit, how people dance as if no one was watching, screaming your lyrics, once you whispered to him. The smoke around the stage, you dancing like you did back in that cabin when it was only you and him, surrounded by the four walls that ignited the burning love he felt for you.

You dance around the outfit he saw over Facetime, how beautiful your body looks under the light, the bright smile on your face. And he stares from afar as he watches his Stargirl live life on that stage. What a time to be alive. You point to the crowd, fans believing it was to them but all along it was to him. He smiles and blows a kiss, you catch it and place it on your cheek. "I love you." he mouths before you sing the lyrics, "and you know I love you too." a secret only two people in that stadium will ever understand.

Your mum and him enjoying the time, no one bothering him, all watching his girl on stage. The camera flashes, the cries of joy people get when you sing songs that match their life stories. He can't help but take his phone out and take a picture of you, maybe not as close to you as those fans at the moment, but this is a moment he will remember for years to come as tonight you break yet another record. He watches in awe. Songs change but he stays there, listening to all the songs you cried about to him, the stories he heard from you turned into tunes, the whispers and kisses he gave you with that dress now sung by lovers all over the place.

Maybe he or you aren't immortal but those songs are, to be listened to for years and years to come. And if he plays his cards right, he might get a honeymoon and a family too. All in its time, he tells himself. Right now, all he knows is that the small box in his pocket awaits for his girl to wear after dinner. Your mum and dad look at him, nodding as a signal that tonight is definitely the night to make your life and his even more memorable. "We'll see you at dinner, John." your dad gives him a firm handshake and leaves with your mum, escorted by the security team. And as the fans record your family leaving, he takes the other exit, to wait for you backstage.

A/N: inspired by a couple I adored when they were together...

Tags: @corafj

[babydollmarauders]

HITS DIFFERENT— JACK HUGHES

final part of the Midnights Fic List

summary: in which y/n and Jack were in a relationship for 4 years before deciding to go separate ways, but everything reminds her of him and y/n realizes she’s made a mistake by letting him go.

specific lyrics: “i washed my hands of us at the club, you made a mess of me. i pictured you with other girls in love, then threw up on the street.” and “they say that if it's right, you know. each bar plays our song, nothing has ever felt so wrong.” and “i find the artifacts, cried over a hat, cursed the space that i needed. i trace the evidence, make it make some sense why the wound is still bleedin'. you were the one that i loved.” and “i heard your key turn in the door down the hallway. is that your key in the door? is it okay? is it you?” and “i never don't cry at the bar. yeah, my sadness is contagious. i slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car.” and “love is a lie; shit my friends say to get me by.”

notes: i don't know how i feel about this one. i feel like i could've potentially done better, but anyways MIDNIGHTS FIC LIST IS OFFICIALLY DONE! it's a month later than i had originally wanted to finish it, but it's finally done!

the reflection staring back at me is a bit of a hot mess. mascara smudged, hair tousled, lipstick fading. i stare in the mirror until i feel the sting of the hot water on my hands, pulling them back with a hiss of pain. the alcohol running through my veins helps me avoid overthinking about this dingy club bathroom, my shoes sticking to the floor with every step. but the buzz does nothing to help with the thoughts that run through my mind when i hear the song that’s blasting from the speakers throughout the club.

“y/n/n, you good?” my head snaps over to Marie, her upper body peeking in through the bathroom door. one look at me makes her sigh. “you’re thinking about him again, aren’t you?”

“it’s our song.” i explain, as though she hasn’t heard the same excuse at every other bar we’ve been to in the past six months.

“i know it is, hun.” she gives me a pitiful smile, fully entering the grimy bathroom in order to grab my hand.

“it just feels so wrong hearing it without him.” tears well up in my eyes, my heart hurting just a little extra.

“let’s go get you another drink.” i give a numb nod in response, letting her lead me to our other friends that sit in a booth by the bar. at the sight of my state, they both give each other an unspoken glance before giving me a look of pity.

“i ordered you another tequila sunrise.” Beth tells me, sliding the drink towards me. i drop into the booth, muttering a short ‘thanks’ before gulping at the drink.

“lay it on us, babe. what’s on your mind tonight?” Lisa pipes up, sipping at her own drink and raising a brow at me.

“i just— they say that if it’s right, you know. and i thought we were right. but, it makes no sense because why didn’t i know until we broke up? i mean, i knew. obviously i knew, i followed him here from Michigan. but, i didn’t know know until we separated, ya know?”

“i’m gonna be honest, i only understood maybe half of what you just said.” Lisa says, making Beth and Marie giggle. “but love is a lie, y/n/n. sure, you can like someone enough to be with them for a long time, but romantic love? complete bullshit. it doesn’t exist. this isn’t the movies.”

“she’s right. and the quicker you realize that, the quicker you’ll get over him.” Marie nods, pointing at Lisa as she speaks while Beth hums in agreement.

“i don’t know if i’ll ever get over him. i love him. i miss him.” i whine. “i want him back. i don’t wanna be here. i want Jack.”

“alright, maybe it’s time we get you back home.” Beth sighs, tapping her thumbs on her phone. ordering an uber, i assume.

“i don’t wanna go home. i wanna see Jack.”

“you can’t see Jack, y/n. you’re drunk, and you guys broke up.” Marie pats my shoulder, helping me out of the booth and out of the club, the other two girls following behind us.

i continue mumbling to myself, my words slurred, and i’m eighty percent sure that the only actual audible word was my ex’s name.

“c’mon, hun. watch your head.” Lisa coos, helping me into the uber. “we’ll see you on tuesday, babe. get some sleep.”

Marie and Beth call out some goodbyes before Lisa shuts the car door, she motions for the guy up front to lower his window, whispering something to him before he starts off towards my house.

“would it be too late to ask to change the drop off location?” i ask him, anxiously playing with the strap of my purse as i speak.

“i’m sorry, ma’am. your friend just told me you might ask that. she said i’m under strict orders to take you straight to the predetermined destination.” i heave out a deep breath, slumping back into the seat of the car.

it doesn’t take too long to get to my apartment complex, muttering a ‘thank you’ to the man before sliding out of the vehicle and making my way up to my apartment. as soon as i make it into the apartment, i bee-line for my bedroom, stripping out of my club outfit and changing into some leggings and a tank top. i wipe off my makeup and throw my hair up before entering my closet. my sights set on the old USA Hockey sweatshirt on my shelf, i hop up, reaching for the article of clothing. however, as soon as i pull it down, something else comes tumbling down with it, falling to the floor in front of me.

slipping the sweatshirt on, i bend down to pick up the fallen item. holding it, tears prick the backs of my eyes as i realize what it is, Jack’s hat. his New York Yankees hat to be exact. my heart aches remembering the times he wore it. our Yankees game, date nights, even just lounging around the house. clutching the hat to my chest, i sink to the floor, sitting criss cross as i cry.

space. why did i think i needed space? i got plenty of space when he was always gone for roadies. fuck space. i just want him. my fingers trace the Yankees symbol, my tears falling down onto the dark blue fabric. why does it still hurt so bad? it’s been six months.

i know it may not help that i’m still in the same apartment we shared. every piece of this home reminds me of him. but it’s been much too hard to move. i tried looking at other apartments, but nothing felt as right as this one. i’m not ready to give up the last piece i have of the one i love.

too busy crying on the closet floor, i barely hear the lock on the front door turning. my head snaps up at the sound, trying to remember which of my friends have spare keys. Marie, Beth, and Lisa are the only ones, but i just left them. that only leaves two other options, Quinn or Jack. but, that i’m aware of, Quinn is still in Vancouver. i know he doesn’t have another game in New Jersey until next month. which only leaves Jack. i try not to get my hopes up, but i can’t help but wonder if it’s him, if he’s come back. the chances are slim. it’s been six months, why would he come back now?

i come to the decision that it’s probably Marie checking up on me. probably worried about the way i was when we parted not that long ago. it wouldn’t be the first time she’s checked on me.

footsteps thump against the wooden floors, getting closer to the bedroom, and i huddle further into the closet, hoping Marie will just leave me alone. tears still stream down my face as i clutch the hat closer to my chest, letting out silent sobs.

“y/n?”

that’s not Marie.

too exhausted, i opt out of leaving the closet, not even able to get myself to speak without being racked with sobs. i sniffle as i hear him pass the closet, the footsteps stop for a moment before i hear them start again, getting closer to the cracked open closet door. i don’t bother looking, fully believing that at this point i’m a mix of drunk and sleep deprived, just hearing things that aren’t there. i wipe at my eyes but the tears keep coming. i shift to bring my knees to my chest, the hat now gripped in my hands in front of me.

“oh, baby.” i hear from behind me before a body drops down beside me on the floor, pulling me into them. his cologne fills my senses, my face buried into his chest. the scent fills me with melancholy, memories of when he used to hold me close and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. comforting me. making me feel at home within his arms.

“it’s okay.” as if i summoned the whispers with my thoughts, his breath fans across my ear. “i’m here. i’ve got you. i’m right here.”

his reassurances calm me just slightly, but the real help is when he splays a hand along my chest, taking deep breaths. muscle memory takes over as i mimic his breathing.

“what are you doing here?” i ask once i’ve finally calmed enough to speak. i wipe at my nose with the sleeve of my sweatshirt, finally looking up into the blue eyes that peer down at me.

“Beth called me.” he whispers.

“she did?”

“yeah. she told me you’re not doing okay.” he confesses. “she didn’t tell me much more than that. just that she’d really appreciate if i checked on you.”

“you came over here in the middle of the night just to check on me?” i question. “you have a game tomorrow. you should be sleeping.”

“you’re a lot more important than a game.” his hand moves from my chest to cup my jaw. “i told you i would always be here for you, y/n. i meant it.”

“but, we broke up. i didn’t think you cared anymore.” a lone tear drops from my right eye as i speak.

“i’ll always care about you. i don’t think i can ever stop. i love you, y/n/n. and i know you said you wanted space, and i respected that, but i told you when we broke up that i would be here when you decided you were ready.” he pauses, his eyes scanning my face before he continues speaking. “and now i really hope you’re ready because these past few months have been hell without you.”

“i made a mistake. i don’t want space. i want you. you’re the only thing i’ve wanted since i was seventeen.” my voice is barely above a whisper, scared for his response.

“you have me. i’m right here.” his eyes jump between my own and my lips three times before he leans down. i meet him halfway, our lips pressing together in a slow kiss. gentle passion and love radiates between us, his hands cupping my face as mine grip the nape of his neck as if he'll disappear from my hold.

pulling away, his forehead leans against mine. my breath catches in my throat at the sight of the smile gracing his lips. a smile of my own spread across my face and i crane my neck to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

"i missed you so much." i admit. "moving on from boys in high school was so easy, but the heartbreak hit different this time."

"that's how you know it's real. we're real. there's no moving on from us." he tells me. "at least, not for me."

he pulls me in tighter against him, crashing his lips against mine once more, and i feel content again, my life being fixed with such a simple motion.

[stumped-on-bennington]

I Ripped Myself Apart

Summary: You find Patrick comparing himself to Pete and he needs a little reminder that he's just as important as well.

Pairing: Patrick x Reader

Word Count: 769

You were just getting packed for the tour when you found him. The band had just finished up an interview where they were answering some fan questions. You entered the spare closet to grab a jacket that you remember you had put in there. When you opened the door you found Patrick Sitting on the floor, tears running down his face.

“Trick? What's wrong, baby?” You asked, quickly kneeling down next to him. Patrick tried to quickly dry his face and clear his throat. 

“Oh, nothing. Don't worry about it, I was just reminiscing and got carried away, I'm fine.” He said, trying to stand up. You grabbed his hand as he began to leave, Patrick looking you in the eyes, seeing the worry that you held in them, and let out a sigh. Patrick sat back down on the floor and held your hand. 

“It's just… What if I wasn't actually made for this? All the fans look up to Pete and always ask him about everything. Where he get the inspiration for songs, what it's like to be famous, like they all know that I have no idea what I’m doing and that I don't belong in the same room as him.” He says these words with such a sad look in his eyes, like these were facts he had read all his life. 

You give his hand a squeeze, pulling him from falling back into his deep thoughts. Patrick give you a slight smile as a thanks for being with him, but it quickly fades as he looks back at the ground. “I know I'm not meant to be this big singer or anything. All I wanted was to play music with my friends and it all spiraled out of control. Now I'm stuck pretending like I know what I'm doing. Hell, even the fans know that I'm not good, that's why they always look up to Pete and see him as the head of the band. It’s why everyone wants Pete, with how fit he is and how he has the better fashion sense.” 

Your heart breaks hearing what Patrick says about himself. 

“Trick, that's not true. The fans all look up to you too. The way you sing and play is inspiring and such an integral part of the band. You inspire so many people all across the world, baby.” You say, leaning in closer to Patrick. He looks up at you and gives you a slight smile, this time with genuine warmth radiating from his eyes. 

“Plus,” you tell him, “if Pete was the attractive one, I wouldn't find you so yummy.” You say with a wink. 

Patrick laughs, “Ew!” He says jokingly. You giggle a little too, leaning more into Patrick. 

“But seriously, You are truly talented. AND you’ve worked so hard to get yourself and the band to where you are now. If you really were just faking it and didn’t know what you were doing, then the fans would be able to see right through it. But you put your entire heart on your sleeve, and that’s what matters, not looks or clothes or anything like that. And if other people truly didn’t find you attractive then they wouldn’t share your pictures with “My dinner” commented on them.” You tell Patrick.

Patrick laughs, visibly better than he was when you found him. He stands up and offers you a hand, you take it and stand with him. Patrick wraps his arms around you, resting his head on top of yours.

“Thank you, Y/N.” He says, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. 

Bonus!

“Oh wow, you weren't joking about the “my dinner” thing… what does that even mean?” Patrick says, scrolling through a sea of random pictures if him, all with the caption “my dinner 😋”.

“Honestly, I have no idea where or why that started, but to be fair, you are quite the dish.” you say, playfully nudging him with your elbow.

Patrick then decided to look up “Patrick x Y/N”. Almost instantly turning red.

“Whatcha lookin at?” You say leaning over and looking at Patrick's phone. Your vision was then overwhelmed by the sight of dozens of drawings of the two of you, most of them in not so PG scenarios. 

As you and Patrick sat there, red as beets, Pete glanced over at the phone screen. 

“WOAH-OH OH!” Pete exclaimed. Patrick tried to quickly turn off the screen, but it was too late.

“Oh man! I know what I'm printing out and hiding on the tour bus!” Pete said, laughing as he walked away.

[crazyunsexycool]

My little love

Mother’s Day celebration

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: fluff that is it!

Series Masterlist

A/N: if you can’t tell by now I’m horrible with with writing one shots round holidays and such but fortunately writing for our favorite family comes easy. In the U.S today is Mother’s Day so I wanted to do something to celebrate. Happy Mother’s Day to anyone that follows me or might come across this one shot!

“Wake up mama.” A little voice starts to pull you from your sleep. “No seeping mama.” You hear in a sing-song tone then you feel a kiss on your cheek.

Little hands put pressure on your chest as kisses continue to rain down on your face. You try to keep from smiling as the door opens.

“Baby is she awake?” Henry whispered.

“No wake up, bubba.” Lottie complains to her brother who promptly gets up on the bed. He starts to play with your hair the same way you do when you’re waking him up.

“Maybe we should tickle her instead.”

“Tic-kle?” Lottie tried to sound it out.

“Yeah tickle, like this.”

By the sound of Charlotte’s giggling you know Henry was giving her a demonstration. This was the perfect time to join in.

“Did someone say tickle?”

Both of them jumped at the sound of your voice and started laughing before you grabbed them and flipped over on the bed. They both squirmed and laughed as they tried but failed to get away from you. It quickly turned into a pile of hugs and kisses.

“I missed you mama.” Henry says once you’ve all settled. You had been on a mission for the past three days and when you came back they were already sleeping.

“Yeah, missed you mama.”

“Well I missed both of you very much.”

“You have to get up, we have a surprise for you.” Henry said as he got out of bed. Lottie followed his lead.

“Uppies mama. We habe suwpwise.”

“You do?” You ask as you get out of bed. “Why am I getting a surprise?”

Henry turned to you with a confused look on his face. “Because it’s Mother’s Day. Daddy said we get to celebrate having the best mama ever today.”

His words caught you so off guard. Of course you knew it was Mother’s Day but you didn’t think you’d be part of the celebration.

“You think that I’m the best mom?”

“Of course, mama.” He says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Why are you sad?”

A few stray tears rolled down your cheeks.

“I’m not sad, my sweet boy. These are happy tears.”

“So do you want to see the surprise?”

You nod and let him take your hand while Lottie led you to the living room. Bucky was there waiting for the three of you. The first surprise was a collage of pictures hung on the wall, all individually framed and arranged perfectly. They ranged from the day of the petting zoo up until your stay in Wakanda.

“When did you hang all of these up?”

“While you were sleeping.” Bucky said, sounding very proud of himself. You hugged him and then the kids.

“It’s perfect, I love it.”

“There’s more mama.” Henry speaks up from the couch where he and Lottie are now sitting. They’re each holding a small canvas which they presented to you. Henry had painted some flowers while Lottie was more abstract. She was very proud to display it for you and gave you a beaming smile when you told her you loved it. On the couch next to them there is a garment bag and some gift bags and boxes.

“Go ahead and open everything.”

The garment bag held a beautiful green dress. The boxes and gift bags held some shoes, a purse, a perfume you really wanted and a beautiful pair of earrings with a matching bracelet.

“Everything is perfect. I can’t wait to wear it.”

“Good because,” as if on queue there’s a knock on the door and Wanda and Nat both saunter in. “You’re going to go get ready with the girls. We have another surprise when you’re done.” Bucky says.

“Come on momma, let us pamper you.”

You smiled and stood, heading towards the door before turning.

“Wait, where are we going?”

“Is a suwpwise mama.” Lottie answered and she waved at you. “Bye bye.”

You laughed as you let Nat and Wanda take you away to Nat’s apartment where there was a whole makeshift spa set up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You spent about an hour with Nat and Wanda before some guests arrived. There was Sarah, invited by Sam. Laura, Clint’s wife and Pepper who just wanted to join in on the fun. She brought with her May, she was the aunt of Tony’s new intern. It was a great time between just the small group. You talked about life in between doing face masks, doing your nails, sharing lunch, drinking champagne and eating sweets.

After spending time with the group you all got dressed. It was clear that if you had a child, there was a surprise waiting for you. Only Nat, Wanda and Pepper knew what was going on. Wanda made sure you had the new dress Bucky and the kids got for you as well as all the accessories and sent you on your way.

Right outside of Nat’s apartment you were surprised to find Bucky and the kids. You smiled brightly when you realized that not only had he gotten you the dress you were wearing, he bought coordinating outfits for himself, Charlotte and Henry. They all wore some variation of green, with Lottie wearing a dress while Henry and Bucky wore a button up and jeans.

“I know how much you love matching outfits.” He said as you bounced on the balls of your feet.

“So pweety mama.”

“You’re so pretty sweet Angel, and my boys look so handsome.” You gushed.

“Ok Henry, why don’t you go ahead with Lottie and find uncle Steve.”

“Come on baby.” Henry takes Lottie’s hand and they walk down the hallway together.

Your arms wrap around Bucky’s neck and you pull him down for a quick kiss.

“Today has been amazing thanks to you.”

“Well, I have one more thing to give you.” He pulls out a long slim box from his back pocket and hands it to you. “Clint and Sam both said it’s a cheesy tradition that at least for one Mother’s Day you get something that represents the kids. I hope this isn’t too cheesy for you.”

He says as you open the box. Inside sat a delicate necklace, the circular pendant had an etching of a rose and a chrysanthemum. There were two stones hanging separately from each other, one was a pearl and the other was a topaz.

“The flowers represent their birth month and those are their birthstones.”

“I love it.” You smiled up at him. It was simple and understated. “Will you put it on for me?”

“Of course.”

You turned around and held the necklace out for him to take. He unclasped it and gently brought it around your neck. Once he was done he kissed the base of your neck. Bucky’s hands settle on your hips and he turns you to face him again. Bucky’s lips are on yours, the kiss is soft and sweet.

“Let’s go celebrate.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Just like when Tony brought in a petting zoo for Lottie, there was an area outside of the main building setup with chairs, tables, a stage with a live band and even a dance floor. The sun was just beginning to set and the perimeter was outlined by strings of soft white lights. The poles that held up the lights were decorated with the same flowers that were on the tables. The place was full of agents with their families. Bucky led you to what you assumed was the main table, reserved for the avengers and their families.

That’s where you found Steve talking with Henry while Lottie was dancing around along with the music. Steve spots you first and gets up, opening his arms to embrace you.

“Happy Mother’s Day.” He says as he pulls away. Grabbing a bouquet of your favorite flowers, Steve presents them to you. “These are for you and so is this.” It’s a gift bag. You open it to find a frame.

When you pull it out you realize it was one of his drawings that he never let you see. The drawing itself was of the four of you and you’re sure he drew it from memory because you don’t have a picture of the four of you interacting like this. You hugged him again.

“It’s beautiful, thank you Steve. I know exactly where I want to hang it up too.”

“Where is it going?”

“In my office, right across my desk so that I can look at it all the time.” Your cheeks were going to hurt from smiling so much.

The rest of the team begins to take their places. All the families together with their kids. Charlotte sat between you and Steve to your left. Bucky was at your right with Henry next to him, who was chatting away with Sam’s nephews Cass and AJ.

“If I can have everyone’s attention for just a moment. Thank you.” Tony stood on stage with the microphone in one hand and a drink in the other. “I’ll keep this short, I just wanted to wish all moms here a happy

Mother’s Day. I know it’s not easy to have this job and raise a family so for everything you do, cheers.” He raises his glass and everyone else follows suit. He gives the microphone back and walks over to the table you’re all sharing.

Dinner is served shortly after and you’re all talking amongst yourselves. Lottie giggles as she offers Steve a bite of her dinner and he makes exaggerated nomming noises. Their interaction makes you smile before your attention is brought back to Bucky, who is running his hand up and down your arm absentmindedly. You lean into him and kiss his cheek. He smiles at you and the two of you just enjoy the moment surrounded by family and friends.

As the night goes on the music gets lively and the dance floor is actually being used. There’s a tap on your shoulder and you turn to find Henry at your side.

“Would you like to dance mama?” He holds out his hand.

“I would love to.”

He walks with you to the dance floor. With both of your hands in his hands Henry begins to lead you, following the upbeat rhythm. Lottie joins both of you as soon as she realizes what’s going on. The three of you laugh as you spin and Henry dips Lottie. Once the song fades into a slower song Bucky joins you. He picks up Henry and you pick up Charlotte and the four of you huddle together as you sway from side to side.

You can’t help the smile on your face as you look at Bucky. The kids have one arm wrapped around him and one around you the best they can. Bucky leans down and pecks your lips. Charlotte copied her dad and kissed one cheek and Henry did the same.

“Wove you mama.” Lottie says as she rests her head on your shoulder.

“Oh I love you too my sweet Angel. And I love you, my sweet boy.”

“What about me?” Bucky pouts.

“I love you too, honey.”

“I love you right back, sugar.”

~~~~~~~~

The night quickly came to a close. All the moms left the party with a gift bag, courtesy of Tony of course, full of really expensive items. Charlotte and Henry were already half asleep once you got to your apartment so changing them into pajamas and putting them to bed wasn’t that difficult.

As soon as the door to your room was shut Bucky had you pinned against it. His body pressed up against yours as his lips traveled down your neck. He carried you toward the bed and laid you down. Just when Bucky was about to take the dress off there was a knock on the door.

“These little cockblockers.” Bucky mutters as he gets up. He shoots you a glare when you laugh. Bucky opens the door to find both Charlotte and Henry standing there holding on to their teddy bears. The former blinked owlishly up at her father.

“Can habe seepover dada?” Lottie asks.

“Doll you can have a sleepover with Henry, you don’t have to ask.”

“No, we want to have a sleepover with you and mama.” Henry corrects Bucky.

“Oh, bubs-“

“Come on in you two.” You cut Bucky off because you know they’ll get their way anyway so why fight it.

Bucky opens the door wider to reluctantly let them in. You scoop up Charlotte and set her down on the bed while Henry climbs up and gets comfortable. Bucky grabs some pajamas from his drawers and you do the same, both of you going to the bathroom to change.

You can see Bucky’s pouty expression through the mirror as you wash your makeup off and change. Once you’re done you stop him from walking back into the room and you bring him down so that you can kiss him one more time.

“Take them to Steve’s tomorrow morning and you come back so that we can finish what we started.” You say against his lips.

“You don’t have to ask me twice.”

In your bed the kids are already falling asleep. Bucky settles down on his side, pulling Charlotte into his chest.

Tomorrow you would get a text from Steve asking why Henry was asking what a cockblocker was. But tonight you lay down on your side so that you can look at the three of them. The love of your life and your two kids.

You had stopped thinking a long time ago that having a family was a possibility but here you are watching as they cuddle. There would be times where you would mess up, get frustrated, forget something important or make them do their chores. But you’d also wipe away tears, chase nightmares and monsters away, give extra kisses and love them unconditionally.

And if anyone were to ask them in twenty, thirty or even forty years from now, they’d still think you’re the best mama ever.

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[ramseunq]

if i knew it all then.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

“but when i wake up, i see you with me.”

song playing: everything i wanted by billie eilish.

i’ll protect you forever, love.

∘°∘♡∘°∘ lee heeseung x fem reader

warnings - lowercase intended, pet names (babe, love, angel), angst.

heeseung looked at the picture that was taken back when you were still alive. he couldn’t believe that you died while saving him. he wished that he was behind the wheel when the truck hit you. heeseung’s tears won’t stop from thinking about all of the memories you two did together. before you died, you were in the hospital with heeseung’s child in your hands. the two of you didn’t think of a name because she came sooner than her due date.

your parents blamed heeseung for letting you die than him. which he blamed himself for. he hated that his lover died just to protect him. but heeseung stayed strong, just for you and his child.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

“jiwoo!” heeseung called out for his daughter who was playing with her friends. she turned around and smiled, seeing her dad. she said her goodbyes to her friends and ran towards heeseung to hug him.

“my pretty angel, how are you?” heeseung held her small backpack as he hugged her back before letting her down.

“i’m okay! i made so much friends today!” jiwon says brightly as heeseung thought of you. which made him eyes watery. you were as bright as your daughter. he guessed that she got that from you. heeseung brushed his watery eyes away, but failed to do so. jiwoo catched on, “what’s wrong, pa?”

“oh, it’s nothing love. something went into my eye, that’s all.” heeseung told jiwoo but the sadness in her eyes knew what was going on. good thing the both of you were away and heading towards heeseung’s car.

“is it about ma?” jiwoo’s voice was different here. heeseung kneeled down, now in the same height as jiwoo. “i miss her. it’s just the way you acted brightly over there, made me think of your mother. she was as bright as you so i kinda just-” heeseung was caught off guard when jiwoo hugged him warmly.

“she told me to tell you that everything will be fine and don’t worry about her,” heeseung’s eyes were more teary than before and a tear fall from his eyes and down his cheeks. jiwoo broke the hug, seeing heeseung’s tears falling. she wiped them off gently, “when did she tell you that?”

“in my dreams. she had watery eyes like you did.” heeseung sniffed and wiped the extra tears that she didn’t get. he smiled at her before unlocking the car. before so, heeseung told her something.

“whenever she’s in your dreams, tell her i miss her so, so much,” jiwoo nodded brightly. “wanna get ice cream before going home?”

“yes please!!”

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

after their meal together, heeseung cleaned up jiwoo. before doing so, he heard a knock at the door. “it must be uncle jake and jay!” jiwoo says as she ran towards the door. “jiwoo, hold on.” heeseung stopped jiwoo from getting closer to the door. jay and jake? why are they doing here? he looked through the peep hole before opening.

“uncle jay!” jiwoo ran towards jay as he hugged her before heeseung welcomes them inside.

once heeseung cleaned up the house after the meal, jiwoo was playing with the boys, laughing with them. jake looked up towards heeseung, then got up towards him.

jake broke the silence by saying, “jiwoo looked alot like her, you know? her personality and her gratitude.”

“thanks. she would appreciate you saying that.” both of them laughed as they talked about jiwoo even more.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

“how are you?” jay asked heeseung as he sat down on the sofa next to jake. “it’s been alright. after the incident, i had to take care of my daughter now so,”

“although it was hard letting her go.” the voice in heeseung was hurt and the boys knew that he was still hurt ever since you died. he just didn’t want to show it all in front of them and jiwoo.

“even her own parents hate me.” that’s when heeseung started showing the pain he kept to himself towards the younger boys. not knowing that jiwoo heard everything.

jiwoo was smart, smart as you, bubbly and sometimes stubborn. she was like a mini you. but after hearing that her own grandparents, hated her dad for killing your mom. she walked away with tears in her eyes, trying to fall back asleep. tears still falling down her cheeks. dad really suffered alot after mom died. she thought before her eyes grew heavier.

not knowing that she was named after her mom.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

i’m so sorry that it’s been awhile since i posted :(

i haven’t have any ideas after the last post and everything just went blank so i’m so sorry for that as well! i’m still working on chapter two of that jungwon ff but i’m not sure when i’ll be posting it. i hope everything goes well with this story! also sorry for this short story!

thank you so much!