#to hire hei xiazi to come after you (which is an unsubtle plea for a sequel where where xiazi hears that xie yuchen is in trouble

[xcziel]

my personal top lines:

people of various sexes looking to become grieving ex-spouses (Hei Xiazi doesn’t do relationship counseling, even of the blunt force variety

He’s cold, Hei Xiazi’s cool, it’s a match made in the freezer section. 

The man looks at the appetizers, meets Hei Xiazi’s gaze for approximately .5 seconds, and completely wastes his opportunity to give the rest of Hei Xiazi a good once-over.

Hei Xiazi’s brain immediately provides half a dozen hopeful opening lines based around the theme of spreading and sheets, which he hastily sweeps up and shoves under the rug of regrettable common-sense.

he’s paying close attention for any sign that his interest is actively unwelcome, because Hei Xiazi may be a garbage person but he’s not trash.

He's tall, built, wears a lot of leather - he's spent his life operating on assumptions that he's never needed to question. Well, apparently he should have been questioning, because apparently what he's really been wanting all these years is for someone half his size to climb him like a tree and start sawing

Show him that thing you can do with the ropes – it’s really impressive!”

after all, walks of shame are only for people who have any

Xiao Hua is turning with one arm on the back of the chair to look at him. "Are you crying?" Hei Xiazi dabs at his eyes with one hand. "Nothing to worry about. I'm just having a moment here. God, I'm amazing."

Finally, finally, someone who really understands foreplay.

- this is by no means a complete list! for that i would have to copy/paste the entire fic @foxofninetales you have really outdone yourself this time 😂😂😂

Ad Hoc Services by Fox of Nine Tales

Fandom: DMBJ | The Grave Robber’s Chronicles, Ultimate Note

Pairing: Hei Xiazi / Zie Yuchen

Rating: Teen

Tags: Alternate Universe, Business, CEO, muscle-for-hire, nothing explicit but so much innuendo, taking the porn out of PWP, humor

Summary:

If assumptions make an ass out of you and me, well, why let a perfectly good ass go to waste?

In which Hei Xiazi is mistaken for a prostitute and his evening just gets better from there.

Read it on AO3