#ticklish beetlejuice

[veryblushyswitch]

The cuties being cute and bullying each other 💖

6 with Beej and Lydia maybe????? Thank you!!!

Tickling Prompts!

Send ‘em in.

“Someone looks depressed.” Beetlejuice’s eyes drifted to the edge of the couch, where Lydia had sat herself down. Maybe he wasn’t so much depressed as bored, but the expression on his face could swing either way.

“I’m not depressed. Just waitin’.”

Lydia quirked her head in confusion. “Waiting on what?”

“Someone to say the one greatest word in the world three times in a row.” Lydia rolled her eyes. Here we go again, she thought. It was always her whom Beetlejuice bugged to say his name, never anyone else. Perhaps that is what comes with the messed up ‘friendship’ they have (if you could even call it that.)

“You know that’s not gonna happen, BJ.”

“Then I may continue to be depressed.”

“Come on, cheer up!” Lydia slides into the couch, sneakily. “Cause if you don’t, you’re gonna summon me.”

Beetlejuice, becoming very aware of how close she was getting to him, slowly began to sit up. “I know what you’re trying to do, kid, and it’s not gonna work. Besides, why would say your name three times yield anything?”

“Okay, you asked for it!” She laughs devilishly, crawling on top of Beetlejuice. “You have summon the most dangerous monster in the whole wide world the Lydia tickle monster!” Immediately following her words, she digs into BJ’s stomach, watching the powerful demon squirm and thrash below her. It was quite amazing to her how she could reduce someone like him to a puddle of giggles just from a little tickling.

He could barely form words, or push her off of him because of how weird it felt to have this kind of physical contact again. And Lydia was clearly going to be merciless until she got what she wanted. Switching around from his very sensitive stomach, to his sides to his underarms. Wherever Lydia’s hands could reach, she would tickle him.

“Say it, Beetlejuice, or the tickling won’t stop!”

“Okay, Okay!” He manages, though can hardly speak. “Lydia,” a voice crack as he make an attempt “Lydia,” a squeak. “Lydia!”

Keeping to her promise, the tickling slows, though she makes no effort to move. “Ah ha! You said it!” Though it was true that she had no powers like Beetlejuice, it was still exciting to make him do what she has been constantly harassed to do to him.

“Celebrate all you want, kid,” Lydia’s triumphant smile is quick to turn to a frown at BJ’s switch in tones. “But you just gave me an easy torture method.”

Flipping them over, he pins Lydia’s arms above her head to the couch. She sqirums, though is it really much of a fight? “Time to saying my name or suffer the consequences!” He wiggles his fingers towards her armpits, and Lydia gulps. How did this managed to get flipped so easily?

[tickle-bugs]

If prompt requests are still open, I have a beetlejuice one! We all know Adam is a huge jokester. I like to imagine that Adam and Barbara like to play around and see who can make Lydia laugh the hardest. Adam is always winning with his jokes, so Barbara decided to take matters in her own hands and tickle Lydia since the game just said to make Lydia laugh, but never said it could only be jokes. Adam accused Barbara of cheating and the jumps on her and tickles her and Lydia. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense lol feel free to disregard it if it doesn’t make sense or if prompt requests are closed. Thanks!

Okay, I Believe You

Summary: After a long drought of joy, the Maitlands hold a competition to see who can make Lydia laugh first. No Beetlejuice AU where Lydia summons the Maitlands on accident while trying to bring her mom back.

Something that Barbara will always love about her husband is his unflappable sense of joy. His light never wavers. As a bit of a cynic, she used to take it for granted, but now…his light is the single-most important blessing a ghost could ask for. 

Even now, doing a crossword from almost twelve years ago, Adam’s still smiling. She’s watching him delight himself every time he figures out an answer and it should be more heartwarming than it is, but her mind keeps drifting. 

She flips through one of the Deetz’s photo albums. Dozens of pictures of Lydia, lovingly arranged, spell the story of her childhood. A wobbly, gap-toothed toddler in too-big rain boots grows into a shaggy, unabashedly weird child. Smiling. 

“Do you think Lydia likes us?” Barbara’s gaze turns towards the attic door. Lydia’s trapped downstairs at one of her father’s real estate dinners. Her absence guts Barbara a bit. 

“Of course, honey. Yesterday, she said we were ‘pretty okay’, remember? That’s a big upgrade from ‘tolerable’!” He straightens out the newspaper and watches her over it. She averts her eyes.

“Yeah, maybe.” Barbara chews on her thumb. “Sometimes I wonder if she wished she’d gotten her mom back, instead of us.”

Wordlessly, Adam stands and folds her into a hug. She tucks into the frigid crook of his neck and sighs. Even in death, they fit together perfectly.

“I think—“ He pauses to run his fingers through her hair— “that Lydia shows her affection much differently from other people. We shouldn’t take her normal as anything strange.”

“You’re right.” Barbara sighs. “It’s just…when I think of her, I think of her frowning. Even with all these pictures, I can’t imagine her smile. Her joy.” 

“Tell ya what. I’ll get her to crack a smile and you’ll see what I mean.” Adam leans back a bit to catch Barbara’s eye. 

“You think you can make her smile?” She looks up, sliding her hands to his waist. 

“I’ll do you one better. I’ll make her laugh.” He grins. 

“So confident. Maybe I’ll beat you to the punch.” She raises her brow. He laughs heartily.

“You’re on.” Adam sticks out his hand to shake and Barbara takes it. 

….

A dreary scene unfolds at the dining room table. Real estate execs politely choke down Delia’s food as Charles attempts to dazzle them with his nightmare house. Maxie Dean seems to be the only one enjoying himself--his loud, grating guffaw bursts out every few minutes. A giant taxidermy bear, poised and ferocious, rattles on its stand behind him. The giant red bow on it threatens to slip free. 

Lydia, wearing a frilly yellow nightmare of a dress, busies herself with trying to kill Delia with her eyes. The pointed impact of her silverware against the near-inedible steak on her plate sets a pace for the whole affair.  

“Hey, Lydia.” Adam leans on the back of Lydia’s chair. Immediately, she sits up straighter. 

“What are you guys doing down here? They’ll see you!” Lydia hisses under her breath. When the table breaks out in mechanical laughter, she rolls her eyes. 

Barbara thinks of the time she walked in on Charles and Delia and shudders.

“They definitely can’t see us. Don’t worry about it.” Barbara pats her shoulder.

“We just had to visit our favorite occult expert.” Adam ruffles her hair. Delia looks over curiously. Lydia glares until she turns away. 

“This seems like a drag.” Barbara surveys the table. “What’s with the bear?”

“That wasn’t always there? I thought that was one of your dad’s…choices.” Adam squints at it. Lydia sighs.

“Gift from Maxie. Kill me now,” Lydia mutters, flicking a piece of rubbery steak across the table. When it hits the plate of the agent across from her, she levels him with a challenging stare.

“Well, I can’t do that, but…bear with me.” Adam gestures to the bear with a mischievous grin. 

A bowler hat lifts off of the hat rack and bobs through the air, ducking behind ugly sculptures and chandeliers to avoid prying eyes. It lands haphazardly atop the bear’s head. Adam gestures with more enthusiasm. 

Lydia snorts quietly.

“I’d offer him some of this steak, but…it seems he’s already stuffed.” Adam scrunches his nose and an apple floats into the bear’s open mouth. Lydia ducks her head to hide her smile. 

“What do you think a bear’s favorite constitutional amendment is?” Adam whispers, already chuckling at himself. “The right to bear arms. He’s already halfway there!” 

Lydia rolls her eyes with deadly force, but she’s still smiling. Barbara puts a hand over Adam’s mouth before he can gear up for another unbearable joke. 

“Okay, my turn.” Barbara grins mischievously. 

Maxie Dean taps a knife against his glass for the attention of the table. All eyes turn to him and the bear. 

Barbara flicks her wrist and a vinyl on the other side of the room slips free. It lowers itself onto the record player and the needle drops harshly. A gentle beating of drums fills the room. 

“Whoa, well that was…convenient—“ He looks uneasily towards the turntable—“but I love some mood music.”

When Maxie next opens his mouth, it’s not his squeaky voice that leaves him. Instead, in a guttural shout, he booms:

“DAAAY-O!”

The dining room goes quiet, save for the record. Maxie clears his throat. Lydia’s eyes widen. 

“Sorry, I’m not sure what--me say day me say day me say daaaayyy-o--”

Chaos erupts in the dining room. Harry Belafonte’s crooning voice fills the space as everyone but Lydia is forced to their feet. A conga line of disgruntled real estate mooks chugs around the table. Charles stiffly beats an ice bucket like a drum. The bear rocks around the room on its stand, shimmying with the music. Delia and Maxie spin like tops. 

Lydia sits at the perfect center of the storm, watching the whole thing with a gaping grin. Barbara waits for even a chuckle of disbelief, but all she gets is:

“Make Delia put the fruit bowl on her head.”

… 

“I can’t believe that didn’t work!” Adam pathetically kicks a pile of their junk and shakes a few things loose. A magic eight ball rolls across the attic floor and disappears in some far off corner. 

“Honey, you’ll have to do better than a hat on a bear.” Barbara snorts. “I’m shocked my plan didn’t work.”

“...you are?” Adam raises his eyebrow. Barbara swats his arm. 

“I brought the roasted pig to life and made it chacha! That’s precisely her sense of humor.” 

Lydia comes up into the attic humming. The door squeaks but doesn’t shut behind her. 

“That was awesome.” She sighs happily and twirls. “Almost made wearing this dishrag of a dress worth it.”

“I think you look positively haunting.” Barbara twirls Lydia under her arm, trying to shake a giggle out of an already-silly mood. No dice. Lydia gives a playful curtsy and flops down on a milk crate.

The attic door creaks open and Delia tumbles in. The levity evaporates. 

“Why are you poking around up here?” Lydia scowls. 

“I was not poking, I was…observing the feng shui of the attic stairs.” Delia sniffs and dusts herself off. She steps tentatively into the attic, looking at the various piles of Maitland-Deetz junk with distaste. 

“What do you want? I’m busy.” Lydia taps her foot against the floorboards. Delia approaches her gently. 

“Have you ever read Matilda?” Delia asks loftily. Lydia glares at her hard enough to elicit a squeak of fear. 

“In that charming novella, the titular young heroine develops…supernatural abilities under extreme emotional stress. But ultimately she uses them to rid herself of her greatest enemy and becomes a hero.” Delia gestures fervently at Lydia and receives a blank stare in return. 

“So does Carrie. What’s your point?”

“Look, when I was a youth…I often felt trapped and holed up. I know you must feel that way now, in our new house—“ 

“You think I’m trapped in here with you? You’re trapped in here with me. This is my house.”  Lydia leaps to her feet suddenly. The motion destabilizes a pile of junk at the end of the room. An old lamp falls over. 

“Lydia--” Delia swallows nervously. Adam, seizing the moment, rattles the shutters and piles of clutter. Barbara grins at him. He winks. 

“This can’t be happening.” Delia’s eyes dart around. Adam nudges the magic eight ball towards her. It stops at her feet. Outlook not so good.

“Perception is reality, right? You said it yourself.” Lydia stalks towards her. 

“Hang on, kiddo,” Barbara murmurs in Lydia’s ear, then concentrates. Lydia’s feet rise slowly off the ground as she levitates. She squeaks in surprise, then resolves her face back into murderous mischief. 

“Leave this place!” Lydia shouts, and Adam flings a cross stitch kit from a high shelf. Delia yelps and scrambles backwards. She looks up at Lydia in terror. 

Is this healthy for their relationship long-term? No. Is it fun? Absolutely. 

Delia screams and flees the attic, falling down a few stairs by the sound of it. Adam slams the door shut behind her. 

Lydia grins, bright and free, and it’s the most distinct show of joy they’ve seen from her…ever. Much like the pictures gathering dust up here, she’s radiant. But…still no laughter. Barbara’s not above admitting when she’s desperate. 

“You can put me down now.” Lydia twists to peer at her, still bobbing in place. Barbara chews the inside of her cheek. If this doesn’t work, nothing will. 

“Remember, you can’t kill me if I’m already dead,” she murmurs, then skitters her fingers over Lydia’s stomach. 

Lydia giggles, then cackles, kicking her legs where she still floats in the air. 

The Maitlands gasp in unison--Barbara in sheer joy and Adam in betrayal. 

“B-Barbara!” Lydia throws her head back as she laughs. Barbara squeezes her sides once, gently, and she squeals, shaking with the force of her laughter. Barbara thinks back to the photo albums--Lydia has her mother’s smile. 

“I didn’t think this would work.” Barbara’s hand passes through Lydia by accident and her voice leaps an octave or five. Lydia scrambles for her hand and pulls it out of her stomach. 

“That’ssobad,” Lydia gasps out, giggling like a maniac. Her eyes glitter with sheer joy as she squeezes Barbara’s hand. She almost seems to be waiting for something. 

Oh. How sweet. 

Barbara scuttles her fingers up Lydia’s ribs and her voice completely drops out. She hides her face in her hands but it does nothing to dim the room. It takes her a moment to uncurl once the tickling stops, but Adam catches the flash of disappointment that she tries to smother. 

Lydia floats back down, bewildered and bright pink, as Barbara takes a victory lap around her husband. 

“I win! Yes!” Barbara floats straight off the ground in a joyous little spin. Adam splutters and gestures at her. She sticks her tongue out at him. He splutters louder. 

“You are disqualified for eternity--” 

“On whose authority--” She snickers. 

“What is happening?” Lydia throws an old pillow directly through both of them. It thumps uselessly to the ground. 

“We were having a little contest to see if we could make you laugh. I won.” Barbara grins. Adam growls and starts reeling her into his arms. She gasps and starts trying to worm away. 

“You did not win, you cheated--”

“You guys are so…weird. Why do you care if I smile?” Lydia’s nose wrinkles with the force of her thoughts. She doesn’t look upset, which is promising, but she’s quickly reaching neon levels of blush. Her teenage need to look cool is very visibly warring with her smile. 

“Well, kiddo--” Adam speaks smoothly while wrestling with a giggling Barbara-- “We care about you. Is that such a radical concept?” 

As Lydia stands there, quietly bowled over that someone would look at her with such care, Adam busies himself with tickling his wife within an inch of her undead life. Barbara’s laughter floods the attic, the lights flickering in time with the music of it.

It’s so simple to them, Lydia thinks. Joy. 

“You gonna stand there like a ghost or are you gonna help?” Adam grins, lifting Barbara clear off the ground. She shrieks in surprise and starts stumbling her way through bargaining. Lydia coos at her mockingly and accepts Adam’s invitation. As she approaches, Barbara starts talking faster, and Lydia’s heart warms. 

“Wait, guys, we can talk about this--”

Adam buries her face into her neck and she squeals, somehow higher pitched than Lydia. Barbara throws her head back to laugh and it’s warm in its familiarity. Lydia dismisses the memories swirling like watercolors at the edges of her mind, instead opting to tase Barbara’s ribs. She snorts through her next peal of laughter, tossing her head from side to side as she tries to hide. The snorts find her anyway. 

Adam and Lydia exchange a mischievous look. 

Adam descends on one side, Lydia on the other, and Barbara giggles so violently that she phases directly through the floor. Adam and Lydia burst out laughing, leaning on each other for support. Barbara trudges back up the attic stairs, grumbling, and it sets them off again. 

“Next time, we’re setting up rules.” Adam wipes his eyes.

“Next time I’m sending you through the floor,” Barbara fires back, wiggling her fingers in his direction. Adam yelps and disappears entirely. 

Lydia’s too busy laughing at him to acknowledge the flutter of excitement at ‘next time’, but she’s overjoyed that it’s there.

[the--blackdahlia]

Beetlejuice x Fem Reader SFW Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He is super affection, once you let him be. Holding hands, cuddling you from behind, other non pervy ways of showing his affection (though there are plenty of pervy ways too).

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He is like the ultimate wingman. If you aren't dating him, he's going to try to find you the best date possible. He has a checklist and your future partner has to check each box. One not checked? They get the scary face.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He loves cuddling you, especially during movies. He likes to squeeze behind you to cuddle when you're lying on the couch, which somehow ends up with you on the floor and finding a new way to cuddle with him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He's a little confused but he's got the spirit. Cooking is hard for him since he hasn't had to eat in years besides the bugs that he just eats raw. But he does remember some recipes from the old country that he can still get the ingredients for. As for cleaning, the man thinks spiderwebs are a year-round decore piece. Safe to say, you do most of the cleaning.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If he didn't really care about the relationship, he'd just send a note on Dante's Inferno stationary. But, if he really loves someone, really cares for them, he'll make up a big elaborate lie to try to save their feelings, even if it really hurts to do so.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I think it's pretty obvious Beej would be willing to get married if you even so much as looked at a wedding dress as you walked past a bridal shop.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

To everyone else, he's a diamond, he's a coconut. He's a diamond coconut. Pretty much closed off. But to you, he is the sweetest, softest guy you know.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He'll hug you all the time. Sometimes to show people that you're his, sometimes to remind himself that you're there with him, sometimes so he can tape a note to your back for you to find later. The possibilities are endless.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It would take him a minute to get up the courage. The last woman he said I love you to poisoned him and tried to eat his soul. But once he's sure that you're not a part of some soul-sucking death cult, he'll be saying it all the time.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Oh he gets super jealous. He knows you would never cheat on him, but he can't trust the other people who look your way. He knows you're drop-dead gorgeous, but they could direct their eyes elsewhere. And heaven forbid you have to go out with a guy, even if it's your brother. You're going to have a minijuice in your purse.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He has different kisses for different things. Forehead when he wants to let you know he's proud of you. Neck kisses to spark something up. Nose when you're being cute and you damn well know it. The list goes on in on. He won't ever admit it, but he has a ticklish spot right behind his ear that if you kiss it makes him giddy.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He doesn't have a lot of experience with children, outside of Lydia. Usually, if he sees a child in the afterlife, he knows that there is a very sad reason they are there. And he just doesn't need that baggage in his life.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He doesn't sleep, and he knows you are not a morning person. He'll usually make you too strong of coffee, and he has learned how to not burn things in the toaster.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Movie nights are frequent. He likes it the best when you make the popcorn because you always add extra butter the way he likes it. He really likes scary movie night, because you usually cuddle closer to him.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He's a pretty open book. There are a few things he's not big on discussing, like his ex-wife, and how he came to work for Juno before branching out on his own. He will eventually get to that. But in the meantime, you get some of the grossest details you wish he would keep to himself.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

You know that GIF of Hades catching on fire and then saying he's cool? That's literally Beej. He'll get mad easily, especially when things aren't going his way, but he also cools down quick. He rarely gets mad at you, except for the one time you accidentally put his suit jacket in with the color cycle. Not like he doesn't have magic to just bleach it or anything.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers small details that you don't even remember telling him. He has like a calendar for a brain with all the important dates. Who needs a smartphone when you have a Beetlejuice?

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment is the first time you told him you loved him. It wasn't forced, it was just you, telling him how much you cared for him. It was the moment he knew you'd be together in life and death.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He is super protective. If you have to walk anywhere alone, you're never alone. You've got a pocketjuice. He has instructed you to say his name three times at even the hint of danger, and even had you record it on your phone in the event you can't talk. Nothing is going to happen to his girl if he can avoid it.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He does try really hard. He hasn't had anyone to do this for, and he's always got Lydia whom he can pester until she agrees to help him.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Eating bugs is one of your biggest icks when it comes to him. You put up with a lot, but the bugs are where you cross the line. Especially when he tries to kiss you after.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He doesn't really care what he looks like. He thinks he's hot stuff. But he still melts when you call him your handsome boy.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Yes. Whenever he gets called away on a job, he feels like he leave a part of him behind. He just doesn't feel right being without you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He's a little insecure about his height, but he doesn't mind you calling him your short king, or asking him for help reaching something on a higher shelf. Makes him feel needed.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He does not like floral scents. Makes him think of old ladies that have come through the afterlife or old homes he's had jobs at. He makes sure that you don't have floral perfume. But fruit, he's ok with.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He doesn't really have to sleep, but he likes to lay in bed with you, cuddling you. It helps when it's hot out, or when your body is super achy. And he feels close to you.

[torygama]

Well my gf made me post this lol

BEETLEJUICE TICKLE HEADCANONS

Enjoy (~˘▾˘)~

Adam:

• Totally switch

• He often has a Lee mood, but he can't ask anyone but Barb to help him. Lydia just refuses.

• BUT, if he's in a ler mood Barbara is the first in line to be "tortured."

• Tickly neck kisses for his wife!!

• Small teasing "look how adorable you are."

• Damn gentle. SO GENTLE.

• Just squeezes lightly here and there to make someone squeal.

• She's basically ler, but with Adam she allows herself to be a lee.

Barbara:

• She has a charmingly squeaky laugh.

• Gently teasing ler. Something like "Oh, look at you.. so cute." (she mean it, she doesn't say this because she wants to embarrass you)

• The worst spot is her sides.

• She is soft but playful in her movements. She moves slowly from spot to spot.

• She nuzzles Adam. (And she knows perfectly well how ticklish he is)

• Sometimes she tries to tickle Lydia, but it ends with "don't touch me, otherwise I'll find a way to banish you."

• Aftercare!! She gently strokes your head and just sits/lies next to you.

• This guy is ruthless.

Beetlejuice:

• Most likely it started by accident when he tried to grope you (if you are a girl) and you laughed.

• "Ooohoh babe, look atcha, I've touched a soft spot."

• Absolutely chaotic. He doesn't care what he does, no tenderness, he just squeezes and Pinches you wherever he can: sides, ribs, knees, everywhere. He just doesn't want to use other techniques because it's just fun for him to see you squirming around trying to cover the place on your body that he just pinched.

• Let's just remember that he can revive objects around him. You think he won't take advantage of it?

• Lydia is his main target, but sometimes he teases Adam and Barbara.

• He loves it when someone squeaks or screams.

• He himself is almost not tickled because no one dared or just does not want to..

• If someone tries, they will have a funny reaction. Like, "Damn, what are you doing? But I'm being touched by a fucking girl right now.. UGH". If you are a man, then he will have only 1 option.

• Most likely, it will just make you stop. He will literally make you.

• A damn loud and snorty laugh.

• "Babe sta-AHAHAP"

[trrickytickle]

Two Can Play At That Game (gift for @toweroftickles)

Fandom: Ready Player One, lee!Art3mis, ler!Parzival

A/N:  (Reimagining of the scene where Art3mis scares Parzival with a Xenomorph arm)

2ND GIFT hope u enjoyyy. have we talked about ready player one BECAUSE WE NEED TO TALK ABT READY PLAYER ONE MY LOVE FOR THIS MOVIE WOULD HAVE EXPLODED OUR DMS I LOVE EVERYTHING ABT IT it may be a bad movie by others’ standards but i think with the themes of dystopia the product placement was done right. anyways enough of that, MEERRRRRRYYYYYYYY CRISIS i lov parzival x artemis. idk y but i think that both them and halliday r autistic lol i might elaborate but it isnt anything serious just something i notied in them behaviorially ANYWAYS hope u like im so grateful for u

The life of a Gunter was as hard as it looked. To find the keys, for one, would require the infinite knowledge of Halliday's inner workings- which were comparatively easy to find in the age of the OASIS.

Halliday Journals- OASIS' Library of Alexandria, the sole source of such information wasn't like any of the other mind-bending zones of this virtual metaverse, such as a replica of Pandora from that movie way back then, to stranger things such as an exact replica of the Tower of Babel chock full of people seemingly ...tickling each other. No matter how quaint, these locations were the brainchild of the very person Wade Watts-or as he was known here- Parzival- was most grateful for.

But he didn't expect.. all this. Even after his rise to fame when he found that first key.

"Hey, it's Parzival!" A Beetlejuice suit-clad man, as rotund as his inspiration pointed, causing a stampede of avatars, all inspired by his endeavors to crowd around him for some words of wisdom or a quick photo-op. The shutters blinded him while some avatars on the shorter side leaped up for a closer shot. That wasn't all. Using their set of four arms, a Goro lookalike rammed through the crowd and rudely pushed the others away with a mighty roar, jostling Parzival aggressively.

"You're famous now! You can't- just go- wherever- you want!" "Goro" yelled, pulling Parzival away with all the strength he could muster (which was a lot).

"No-no-no-no-no- I-" he tried to bargain to no avail as he was dragged into a secret opening planted in the wall. Green Tron lines provided atmosphere as the two stood face-to-face.

"Huh?"

"Goro" sneered and snarled, then look down to see something  moving in his chest, like a baby kicking its leg out. His stomach rumbled, and out came- an honest-to-goodness Xenomorph, screaming at Parzival's blue tinted face.

"GAH!" He jumped as it lunged straight at him with a snarl straight out of the movie. It retracted, noshing at "Goro's" skin by snipping it like a pair of scissors till there was no piece of Shokan in sight...

Well, maybe that Xenomorph wasn't so honest. Art3mis taunted him, playing with the once horrific alien parasite like a sock puppet., chomping its jaws together. With an uncharacteristic sternness, Parzival yanked the bloody puppet off her hand while she was already buckling down in sweet and melodious laughter.

"Haha- ha-haha-ha!"

"That is.. That is not funny!" Parzival attempted a rebuttal. Art3mis was predictably still in stitches, holding her stomach as she chuckled deeply. While the spunky streamer cooled down from her giggle-fit, he had an uncharacteristicly shit-eating grin smack-dab on his face like an anime character with a band-aid on their nose trying to look cool.

"But this is!" He swiped through his inventory, eager to find a fitting rebuttal and landing on a set of eight mechanical tentacles identical to the ones Doc Ock had worn in the 2004 movies, using one of four mechanical tendrils to grasp Art3mis by her jacket.

"Hello, Art3mis.." Parzival teased, poking at her already exposed sides to rub it in. To his suprise, she squeaked gingerly.

Like adding salt to a wound, he joked-

 "Oh, so you're a ticklish one, huh?"

"No- I'm- Fine. Have it your way."

Art3mis could only look away in embarrasment as he drummed his fingers against her sides continuously, then spidering them onto her tummy as he shook her around with the prehensile arms. That trip to Avatar Outfitters was pricey- but her reactions were worth just as much as the Zemekis cube.

"Ah-hehehehe-heeee! I-hi-hi'm ticklish, you got me!" She scissor-kicked the air to no avail, while she was a grasp from the mechanical arm away from falling.

"Oh, but I didn't get you good enough yet!" Parzival's grin was contagious- well, he was tickling her. Moving one of the tentacles down like Art3mis was a stuffed bear in a claw machine, he tazed his fingers into her armpits, causing her to squeal.

"EEEE-ahaha, yohohou should be glahad this is s-AAAAH!-soundproof!" she yelped, as Parzival played around in her worst spot.

"Soundproof, you say? So you don’t mind if I go heeere-” he smirked, poking around at Art3mis’ stomach, massaging it with prods of his fingers, even going up to poke each individual rib. 

“Yohohou’re mean! Ihihi- lihihisten! I have something to tell you!” With the notion of information, Parzival relinquished his grasp, and the item back into his inventory, and Artemis had a moment to catch her breath. 

“*huff* *huff* I-hehe- I deserved that.” She smiled,a glint in her heart that enjoyed Parzival’s playful flirting. “Well- You’re the Parzival now. You’re famous, you need to have a disguise.”

In that moment, Parzival realized two things- she was absolutely right, and that Art3mis was truly the most beautiful living thing within the walls of OASIS’ HD display. 

[bjfinn]

Thanks for tagging me!

1. middle names: Richard Neill (after my father)

2. age: 60

3. birthday: 5 November

4. zodiac sign: Scorpio (but Pisces figures overwhelmingly in my chart)

5. favourite colour: green

6. lucky number: none

7. pets: none

8. from: Montreal, Quebec

9. height: 165 cm (5'5¼")

10. shoe size: 10½EEEE

11. pairs of shoes: 3 (1 pair running shoes, 1 pair dress shoes, 1 pair winter boots)

12. last dream: being overrun by hordes of customers at work

13. talents: writing, singing (according to others, at least)

14. psychic ability: none

15. favourite song: impossible to choose

16. favourite movie: impossible to choose

17. ideal partner: not sure how to answer this one

18. children wanted: none

19. church wedding: no

20. religious: not at all

21. hospital visits: 3 (second-degree burn from hot soup, sprained ankle, kidney stone)

23. legal trouble: no

24. celebrity encounters: none

25. bathing preference: showers

26. current sock colour: none (I'm barefoot at the moment)

27. famous: no

28. favourite music genre: impossible to choose

29. want to be a big celebrity: no (maybe a mid-famous one?)

30. skinny dipping: no

31. number of pillows: 2

32. sleeping position: on my right side

33. typical breakfast: nothing

34. fired a gun: no

35. tried archery: yes

36. favourite clean word: don't know

37. favourite swear word: fuck or shite

38. sleep deprivation record: 3 days, I think

39. scars: 2

40. secret admirer: if I knew they wouldn't be secret, would they? 😁

41. good liar: no

42. good judge of character: I think so

43. other accents: yes -- Northern Irish (Belfast), Irish (Dublin), Scottish (Edinburgh), various English, Welsh (occasionally), Australian, generic southern US, generic Scandinavian, Parisian, Hispanic, Russian, Egyptian Arabic (learned by listening to Zahi Hawass, who was the Egyptian minister of antiquities iirc), generic West African, generic Caribbean, generic South Asian, Chinese (not claiming any degree of authenticity for most of them, though)

44. strong accent: moderate Northern Irish/Scottish hybrid

45. favourite accent: Scottish, I think

46. personality type: ESFP

47. most expensive piece of clothing: my Beetlejuice cosplay (cost me nearly $400 to make!) -- otherwise, an embroidered English Laundry shirt that I bought (never worn) at a thrift store for $12, the original price tag for $80 was still on it

48. tongue curling ability: yes

49. innie or outie: innie

50. handedness: right

51. arachnophobic: no

52. favourite food: impossible to choose

53. favourite foreign food: impossible to choose

54. clean or messy: messy

55. most used phrase: you know?

56. most used word: uh ...

57. length of time to get ready: depends on what I'm getting ready for

58. ego: not really

59. suck or bite lollipops: suck

60. talk to myself: all the time

61. sing to myself: all the time

62. good singer: I don't think I'm that good, but other people say that I am

63. biggest fear: dying alone and forgotten

64. gossip: no -- I have enough going on in my own life, thank you

65. best dramatic movie: impossible to choose

66. long or short hair: short

67. name all 50 states: I'm Canadian, so of course I can! 😁

68. favourite school subject: probably history

69. extrovert or introvert: extrovert

70. scuba diving: no

71. nervous about: not sure -- the global political climate? the environmental crisis?

72. scared of the dark: no

73. correcting others' mistakes: only if it's important (if a colleague makes a mistake at work, for example)

74. ticklish: yes

75. started a rumour: not to my knowledge

76. position of authority: no

77. underage drinking: yes -- when I was a toddler my da used to let me sip the foam from his beer (it was the 1960s, people! That was before seatbelts, age restrictions for tobacco, and lots of other stuff! 😁)

78. done drugs: yes (only marijuana)

79. first real crush: my best friend Nolan

80. piercings: none

81. R-rolling ability: yes

82. typing speed: don't know

83. running speed: you know the lil snail crossing the dash here on Tumblr? I think I could beat him in a race

84. hair colour: dark brown with a touch of grey

85. eye colour: hazel

86. allergies: pollen

87. journal: not very often

88. parents' occupations: they're dead now, but my father was a steelworker, and my mother worked as a cashier before I was born

89. like my age: it's okay, but I wish I was younger -- it goes so fast

90. gets angry about: entitled people, animal cruelty, child abuse

91. like my own name: it's okay -- I've gotten used to it

92. thought of baby names: only for my most recent fic

93. want a daughter or son: neither (see #18)

94. strengths: compassion, empathy, helpfulness

95. weaknesses: cute animals, good food, good music

96. how I got my name: my mother wanted to name me after my father, but he didn't want me to be called "Junior" all my life (thanks, Da! ☺️👍) -- so she chose Keith, thinking it was Irish (it's actually Scottish in origin, but it's common in Ireland, too)

97. royal ancestry: if you go back far enough, then probably

98. scars: already asked (see #39 lol)

99. bedspread colour: sort of a light burgundy, I guess?

100. room colour: forest green

No pressure tags: @hoodoo12 @alchemiccolored @leeeeeeeeech @stinkyhorsebitch @hesawifebeaterdanusethegun @pinkphonepillz and anyone else who has an afternoon to kill!

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

PLEASE DON’T LET THIS FLOP AHHHH

1. What is you middle name? 2. How old are you? 3. When is your birthday? 4. What is your zodiac sign? 5. What is your favorite color? 6. What’s your lucky number? 7. Do you have any pets? 8. Where are you from? 9. How tall are you? 10. What shoe size are you? 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 12. What was your last dream about? 13. What talents do you have? 14. Are you psychic in any way? 15. Favorite song? 16. Favorite movie? 17. Who would be your ideal partner? 18. Do you want children? 19. Do you want a church wedding? 20. Are you religious? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 24. Baths or showers? 25. What color socks are you wearing? 26. Have you ever been famous? 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? 28. What type of music do you like? 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 31. What position do you usually sleep in? 32. How big is your house? 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 34. Have you ever fired a gun? 35. Have you ever tried archery? 36. Favorite clean word? 37. Favorite swear word? 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 39. Do you have any scars? 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 41. Are you a good liar? 42. Are you a good judge of character? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? 44. Do you have a strong accent? 45. What is your favorite accent? 46. What is your personality type? 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 48. Can you curl your tongue? 49. Are you an innie or an outie? 50. Left or right handed? 51. Are you scared of spiders? 52. Favorite food? 53. Favorite foreign food? 54. Are you a clean or messy person? 55. Most used phrased? 56. Most used word? 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 58. Do you have much of an ego? 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? 60. Do you talk to yourself? 61. Do you sing to yourself? 62. Are you a good singer? 63. Biggest Fear? 64. Are you a gossip? 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 66. Do you like long or short hair? 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? 68. Favorite school subject? 69. Extrovert or Introvert? 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? 71. What makes you nervous? 72. Are you scared of the dark? 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? 74. Are you ticklish? 75. Have you ever started a rumor? 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? 77. Have you ever drank underage? 78. Have you ever done drugs? 79. Who was your first real crush? 80. How many piercings do you have? 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ 82. How fast can you type? 83. How fast can you run? 84. What color is your hair? 85. What color is your eyes? 86. What are you allergic to? 87. Do you keep a journal? 88. What do your parents do? 89. Do you like your age? 90. What makes you angry? 91. Do you like your own name? 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? 94. What are you strengths? 95. What are your weaknesses? 96. How did you get your name? 97. Were your ancestors royalty? 98. Do you have any scars? 99. Color of your bedspread? 100. Color of your room?

[toksikk]

wait. are you ticklish? (Beetlejuice to Lydia)

"You touch me and I'll bite." Lydia warned him, glancing up from her camera to give a narrowing of her eyes. "I dont exactly go around announcing that im ticklish." She wasnt much one for being touched unless she really trusted someone. "So keep your hands to yourself Beej."

[discordedtickles]

Bj!!!! His!belly!is!ticklish!!!!!

Interesting. 

I thought of him as not ticklish at first but I can actually totally see him being shocked that he is ticklish. BUT LIKE HE LIKES IT? 

Like someone will tickle his stomach and he’ll squirm and die laughing but then they will stop and he’s like ??? wait keep going i liked that. 

[legendary-defender-of-fandoms]

*cracks knuckles, cracks neck, rolls shoulders* Let’s do this.

Dewey Finn Headcanons:

ADHD.

Not stupid by any means, but definitely struggled in school. Would be labeled a “problem child” by teachers because he had trouble sitting still or focusing on the super dry material, couldn’t engage with subjects that didn’t speak to him. Definitely has some PTSD about Star/Demerit charts from his own grade school days.

Gives the best hugs. Knows just how tight to hold you, and his body’s soft & comforting in all the right places.

Not sure how NSFW you want these shares headcanons to be - let me know if you’re curious about sex/bedtime headcanons.

Appreciates a good movie soundtrack. Very judgy if a song seems out of place given the context of a scene.

Not necessarily a jazz or pop music guy, but loved the vibes of “Cats Don’t Dance” and “A Goofy Movie” growing up.

Favorite Muppets include Gonzo & the Electric Mayhem.

Very ticklish, but also sensitive about his stomach. Doesn’t like folks messing with his belly in public, gets flustered if the two of you are home alone & you come up behind him to give him a hug.

NOT a morning person! DO NOT WAKE BEFORE 8 AM IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE! He will snarl like an angry bear.

Likes his coffee black. Not a fancy coffee person - give him a basic pot (cup won’t cut it) of joe & he’s good.

His dead grandma used to knit sweater vests for him when he was a kid. Not sure if his current sweater vests were from her, or if he inherited them from his grandpa on that side, or if he sees crazy sweater vests at thrift stores & buys them because they remind him of his grandma.

Chugs his Respect Woman Juice. Won’t press his advantage, genuinely sees groupies as cheerleaders who hype the band rather than easy scores, wasn’t comfortable with “I’m Too Hot For You” but still tried to give it his all to fit in with the rest of the band. And he sings about “girls from PR” and folks fighting for his “chiseled rock god physique” because he thinks that’s Just What Happens when one climbs to the top of Mount Rock, not because he got into the music to get chicks.

He’s a lover, not a fighter. He will try to de-escalate or remove himself from a situation if things get too hairy. But if you lay a finger on one of his kids, you better run, hide, and pray to every deity you can think of that he doesn’t find you. He’ll talk to the kids about ignoring doubters & haters, remind them all the time just how awesome they are, help them channel their anger into their music or fashion or whatever, but the moment bullying or abuse becomes physical he turns into John Wick.

Beetlejuice Headcanons:

On the autism spectrum

Also not stupid by any stretch of the imagination, but dyslexic. He memorized the Handbook by listening to Miss Argentina as she explained certain sections to new arrivals.

He purrs when he’s content. Card your fingers through his hair, snuggle with him, scritch his beard while holding his face, and he’ll start motoring like a giant house cat.

His eyes glow in the dark.

He DEFINITELY haunted Pisa while the Tower, baptistry, and cathedral were being built! Not sure how much he can be blamed for the Tower & baptistry leaning, but you can see his signature all over the cathedral.

SUPER ticklish! Behind the ears, on the neck, under the chin, his pits, his feet, his belly - apply a featherlight touch to any of these areas & he’ll collapse into giggles.

He has density shifting abilities. So if he chooses, he can make himself light as a feather so you can carry him around, or lay on top of you as the world’s heaviest weighted blanket.

Lilo & Stitch made him cry. Lydia put it on for one of their family movie nights, and he was purple & teary through the entire third act. But when he saw Lilo got to keep Stitch, he started bawling. Stitch is now his favorite Disney character. (Lydia’s afraid to show him Stitch Has A Glitch)

Again, not sure how NSFW you want these headcanons, but I have Some Thoughts.

He discovered he could make clones of himself by accident when he was a kid. He was sad & lonely & desperately wanted someone to talk to, and when he looked up he saw a near-perfect copy of himself. He was thrilled, until he realized the clone wasn’t truly sapient. But they make for good party tricks. He tried using clones to get out of trouble with Juno, or to sneak out of Juno’s house. It Didn’t End Well.

He hates how Scooby Doo has desensitized millions to ghosts & hauntings. Getting mortals to see him was so much easier before they came to expect a greedy capitalist in a mask was behind every haunted house.

He’s the only ghost/demon that the Sandworms won’t eat on sight. He understands them, they understand him.

He hates running into dead kids. He doesn’t even try to keep them in the living world - he helps them go straight to the Netherworld & tells them to tell Miss Argentina that he sent them. She takes excellent care of them & helps them reach a peaceful afterlife. If the kids were hurt/killed by the adults in their lives, Beetlejuice will terrorize the guilty parties for a month until they either die of fright or get committed to a psych hospital.

HAND ME YOUR HEADCANONS:

FOR DEWEY FINN OR BEETLEJUICE SHOGOTH

[tickle-bugs]

For the warmup prompts can you do Beetlejuice and Lydia (platonic! I do not ship them romantically in any way whatsoever) with the dialogue of “I bet I can get you to say my name.” If not, I totally understand!

So for people who haven’t seen/listened to the musical the vibe is completely different from the movie LMAO less “this is our weird uncle beetlejuice the family won’t talk to him he’s wanted by the feds and can’t come within 500 feet of the house” and more “cool but still weird cousin beetlejuice who collects strange rocks, is always in danger of being actively actively on fire, and is wayyy too into dark humor”. It’s a good show! If you like comedy musicals with a rock lean to the soundtrack, you’ll probably like it. It’s got a Little Shop of Horrors sensibility to it, I think. 

If anyone tags this as ship w/ Lydia and Beetlejuice I will crawl out of your screen like the girl from the ring and gnaw on your bones I’m so serious

AU where the plot of this show doesn’t take like. A week LMAO. Basically Lydia hasn’t said BJ’s name yet but she also hasn’t decided what to do with her dad yet. So they’re at an impasse. Lydia regularly goes to hang out in her haunted attic and lament because Delia won’t go up there, thus making it safe. Beetlejuice keeps doing Say My Name-style ad pitches to get Lydia to summon him properly but he’s not very good at it. 

EDIT: FORGOT THE BODY HORROR WARNING OOPS!! It’s very mild but just in case anyone needs it <;3

Full-Time Spectres

Lydia’s life is far from conventional, perfectly so, but she’s started to adapt to the strangeness in the walls of her house. She doesn’t have the one ghost she wants most of all, but she’s got three that do just fine for entertainment and scheming purposes. She’s gotten used to the cold spots, the occasional flicker of the lights, and Adam’s habit of walking through walls rather than doors--he figured out that he could and never wanted to stop. 

Some things she’ll never adjust to, though, like her attic being strewn with scraps of brutalized board games.

Monopoly’s been pinned to the wall with a knife, Ludo sits perfectly still on a shelf with suspicious-looking green liquid in the shot glasses, and a chess board hovers in the air, eternally aflame. It’s a massacre and she doesn’t know where half of these things came from. 

“What’s, uh…what’s happening here?” Lydia kicks the door shut behind her. The door creaks open. She kicks it closed again with a frown.

Adam looks up and squints at the door. His eyes dart around as if he can see the schematics of it and diagnose the problem from halfway across the room. Lydia allows herself a tiny smile. 

“Adam’s teaching me to play checkers.” Beetlejuice beams, which is unsettling in itself. 

“Well, I tried to reach him to play chess, then a few other things…it didn’t go well.” Adam pushes his glasses up his nose and surveys the board in front of them. He captures one of Beetlejuice’s pieces with a triumphant little ‘aha!’.

Beetlejuice takes a long, pensive look at the board. Very thin tendrils of smoke curl out of his ears as he tries to decide which piece to play. Adam, sweet Adam, goes to help him make an advantageous move, but Beetlejuice shushes him. 

“What are you doing?” Lydia sidles over to Barbara, who fumbles with an old lamp. She sets it down before she can shatter it. 

“Well, it was going to be a surprise but…” Barbara gestures excitedly to a small nook in the attic. She’s rearranged various boxes of her former belongings to build a shoddy sort of booth. A heavy, ugly floral curtain hangs precariously over the doorway. 

“It’s a dark corner!” Lydia gasps sarcastically. 

“No—well, yes, but it’s supposed to be a kind of mini dark room? I don’t know much about them but I know you’re always taking pictures.” Barbara shifts awkwardly.

Oh. Oh. 

Lydia cradles her camera in her hands, running her thumb along the outside. The pebbled texture is a kiss to her fingertips. If she concentrated hard enough, she can remember the feeling of her mom’s warm hands over her own, showing her how to hold the camera. 

“If you don’t like it—“ 

“You made this for me?” She whispers. She tries to swallow the lump in her throat. 

“Still workin’ on it, but yes.” Barbara gestures lamely. 

“You…didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got nothing but time. Might as well use it right.” Barbara shrugs. Lydia bounces on her toes.

“I’ve still, um, gotta clear out all of our junk. Adam and I don’t need it anymore, not really, and you need room to breathe. I know it’s not much, but--”

Lydia crashes into Barbara for a hug. She’s icy to the touch, but her touch is the most comforting thing Lydia can imagine. Barbara pulls her in close, cradling the back of her head with her cool hands. There is no heartbeat in her chest, but Lydia can feel that it’s not empty.  

A memory of her mother prickles at the back of her mind. She pushes it down. 

“Do you want help?” Lydia pulls away and looks towards the dark room, ignoring the twinge of grief in her gut. She can see its potential around the edges.

“It’s your surprise! You can’t help with that!” Barbara gasps, affronted. 

The curtain falls heavily from the hooks and thumps into the ground. A plume of dust kicks up and Lydia coughs. 

“Okay. Maybe you can.” Barbara scratches her head. Together, she and Lydia hoist the heavy curtain back into precarious-looking hooks embedded in the wall. As they back away from it, silently begging it to stay in place, Beetlejuice sits up ramrod straight. 

“Adam, Barbara’s throwing away your coin collection,” Beetlejuice gasps and points over Adam’s shoulder.

“What? They’re vintage!” Adam whirls around. Beetlejuice moves a bunch of pieces around, making a bunch of captures, and eats a piece for good measure. He winks at Lydia. She fondly rolls her eyes. 

“You know I would never.” Barbara says. Adam deflates. She kisses his forehead. He grumbles a little but accepts it.

When Adam turns back to the board, Lydia has the express joy of watching him go through the five stages of grief in real time. He looks from Beetlejuice to the board in sheer despair. 

“Why do you keep eating the pieces?” Adam puts his head in his hands. 

“Because, Adam dearest, it makes you mad.” Beetlejuice pats his shoulder solemnly. Lydia snorts.

“Well, I’m officially out of games.” Adam pats his thighs and stands. He ambles over to Barbara and appraises the curtain. He puts his hands on his hips and starts muttering about supports and tracks. Lydia tries to follow along but her eyes near-instantly glaze over. 

“Sooooo, Lydia.” Beetlejuice slides over to her. “Have you given my offer any more thought?”

“You still haven’t given me a convincing argument. Calling yourself ‘the worst of the best’ isn’t exactly a glowing review.” Lydia wrinkles her nose. 

“These two like me!” Beetlejuice points at the Maitlands. Barbara gives a teasing ‘meh’ gesture just to see him splutter in offense. She laughs softly. 

“I’ll admit, I’m coming around on him.” Adam chuckles. 

“Thank you, Adam. Mwah.” Beetlejuice blows a kiss in his direction. Adam turns a little pink and goes back to working on the curtain. Barbara whispers something in his ear that makes him turn even pinker. 

“They like anyone. I’ve met cardboard with stronger opinions than them.” Lydia scoffs, then turns. “No offense.” 

Adam and Barbara both shrug. 

“Fair point. Counteroffer: you hate your dad, I hate your dad, let’s kill him.” Beetlejuice gives his most enthusiastic jazz hands. Lydia stares at him blankly. 

“Denied.” She pushes his hands out of the way. 

“On what grounds?”

“On the grounds that you suck. Your fate hinges on me and you can’t even get me to say your name. You spend all your time cheating at board games because you need me more than I need you. That’s pretty lame for a big, scary demon,” Lydia says mockingly, curling her fingers into claws. When Beetlejuice gives her the finger, she gives two right back with a smirk. 

“Lydia, be nice,” Barbara chides, goosing Lydia’s side. She yelps and smacks her hand away. 

Beetlejuice gasps. Lydia slowly meets his sparkling eyes. 

“No.” Lydia points at him. Beetlejuice smiles slowly, wicked and full of mischief. 

“I’ll kill you. I’ll bring you back to life just to kill you--”

Lydia steps back, Beetlejuice steps forward, and all hell breaks loose. Lydia springs over a pile of Maitland junk and ducks under Adam’s arm. She shoves him into Beetlejuice’s path.

Beetlejuice simply picks Adam up and deposits him elsewhere like a Maitland mannequin. He squeaks and leaps out of the way of their chase.  

The two of them circle each other around an unbuilt dining room table kit, Lydia just barely keeping out of arm’s reach. She bolts past a dilapidated spin-your-own-yarn kit and dives through Barbara’s legs to hide behind her. 

Beetlejuice stops and visibly considers the consequences of doing the same. Barbara gives him a withering look. He tries to circle around her, but Lydia’s excellent at moving her around like a meat shield. Beetlejuice visibly starts scheming. 

Barbara looks at Lydia, looks back at him, and slides out of the way. 

“Barbara!” Lydia screeches in outrage but there’s not enough time to screech and run. He grabs her and pulls her into a bear hug. 

“Thank youuuu, Babs!” Beetlejuice grins at her. She shakes her head fondly and honorably discharges herself from the battlefield. 

“Hey Lydia…I bet I can get you to say my name.” He cackles evilly. Lydia hisses at him, but damn it, she’s already giggling nervously. He swoops his hands over her stomach, wiggling his fingers but not quite touching. 

“B-Beetlejuice!” She squeaks and rocks up onto her toes in lieu of running. 

“That’s one!” He singsongs, finally touching down on her stomach. She folds into his hands—unwise, really—and curses Beetlejuice to the high heavens and below. 

“Think we should help her?” Adam leans over to Barbara. They both watch Lydia worm around in Beetlejuice’s arms, not making much of an escape attempt despite the volume of her threats. 

“Nah.” Barbara moves a crate of nearly-unused embroidery hoops out of the way with tender care. The curtain collapses again. Both Maitlands sigh. 

“Beetlejuice, you fucker!” Lydia growls, but quickly loses it to laughter. He’s doing this infuriating little pinchy-thing to her sides, one that makes her leap clear off the ground each time. She tosses her head back and cackles, her whole face scrunched with the force of it. 

God, she hasn’t laughed like this since…well, it’s been a while. She’d forgotten that she could. 

“Eh, that probably counts. One more!” Beetlejuice finds a deathly spot on her lower ribs and decides not to leave it alone. 

“Beeeeeeeeeeeee--AHHH!” 

“Hm, yeah. See, now we’re gonna have to start over.” Beetlejuice tasers her sides, right at that spot, and feigns disapproval. Lydia makes a noise at a pitch audible only to dogs and demons. 

Crunch. 

Lydia’s foot connects directly with his face in a frankly-stunning high kick. He drops her roughly. Something goes flying across the room and hits the wall with a quiet thump. Barbara gasps sharply and covers her mouth in shock. 

Beetlejuice touches his nose—or rather, the space where it used to be, and a thick hush falls over the attic. Everyone’s eyes drift to the nose, now fallen among jars of the most rancid-looking kombucha on the face of the earth. It twitches plaintively. 

He laughs, loud and boisterous. His lack-of-nose whistles as he does. Adam picks up the fallen nose and gags before tossing it to Lydia and wiping his hands on his shirt. 

“Got your nose,” Lydia giggles weakly, depositing it into Beetlejuice’s hand. 

“Nice shot.” Beetlejuice chuckles, uncomfortably nasally, and shoves his nose back into place with an awful crack. He takes a long, wheezing inhale and gives her a thumbs up. 

“So…” He sidles close to her, bringing back the jazz hands. 

“No.” 

“Yeah, that’s fair.” He sighs. 

“Lydia, are you alright?” Delia’s voice curls faintly up the rickety staircase. She climbs up, but not all the way—Lydia can tell by the shuffling of her awful shoes. 

Everyone freezes.

“Lydia?” 

She opens her mouth to answer Delia and Beetlejuice squeezes her sides. She yelps and whirls around, but he doesn’t even have the decency to feign innocence. He just does it again, waiting for the precise moment she goes to speak. 

“Y-Yeah, I’m o-okay.” Lydia wrestles with Beetlejuice’s hands, her voice shaking with barely-restrained giggles. 

“Oh god, please don’t make me come up there.” Delia’s ‘whisper’ is anything but. Beetlejuice snorts. 

“I’m fine! Just, uhm, doing spring cleaning.” Lydia calls back, stomping on Beetlejuice’s foot. He doesn’t even flinch. 

“Okay.” A long, heavy pause from Delia. 

“You can go now!” Lydia yells. Delia’s heels click quickly down the stairs, back towards the dreary living. 

“You’re insufferable,” Lydia hisses at Beetlejuice, punching his shoulder. He holds his hand over his heart and gives a grand, sweeping bow. When he stands up, he smacks his head against the dagger in the wall. Lydia snickers at him.

He turns around like a penguin, never one to do things normally, and makes a delighted noise at the pierced Monopoly board. He pulls the knife out of the wall and pokes his finger with it a few too many times, fascinated with the sharpness of it. 

He stretches, makes a bunch of vague measurement and aiming gestures, then lobs the knife straight upwards. It lodges into the ceiling with an enthusiastic ping! The blade warbles with the force of it.

Beetlejuice slaps the Monopoly board down on the floor and plops down in front of it. Adam bemoans the state of the attic ceiling as Barbara consoles him. 

“Wanna play?” Beetlejuice snaps his fingers and the board changes, shifting into black, whites, purples, and greens. Graveyard moss creeps along the edges of the board. Monopoly components spawn into existence on the board, appearing in puffs of fog and comically-quiet wails of the damned. 

“Sure.” Lydia sits opposite him. She pokes at some of the moss. It sprouts to meet her touch. 

“If you get stabbed, you lose?” Beetlejuice casts a cursory glance to the still-wobbling knife. The blade shifts slightly out of the ceiling. 

“Deal.” Lydia sticks her hand out to shake. Beetlejuice takes it with gusto. 

“You guys wanna play?” Lydia turns to the Maitlands. Barbara and Adam look at each other, communicating in that telepathic way of theirs. Barbara grins and leads Adam over to the board to sit. 

“I call thimble!” Adam reaches for it. Beetlejuice swats his hand. Adam reaches again. Beetlejuice swats him a little harder. 

“You can’t have the thimble. I’m the thimble.” Beetlejuice pinches it between his fingers. 

“Can I have the thimble?” Barbara leans close to Beetlejuice and looks up at him through her lashes. Lydia never would’ve guessed that a demon could blush, but sure enough, Beetlejuice’s face takes on the slightest bit of color. 

“I sense that I’m being manipulated.” He narrows his eyes. 

“Is it working?” Barbara smiles. 

“Yep.” He slaps the thimble into her hand. She passes it to Adam. He beams. Beetlejuice rolls his eyes but his gaze lingers on them for just a bit too long. 

“Well played, Babs. Well played.” Beetlejuice scoops up the racecar piece and frowns at it. Its tiny metal form melts and reconfigures into a small hearse. Satisfied, he places it right next to the cat piece—Lydia’s, of course. Barbara takes the top hat with pride. 

When Beetlejuice jumps Adam for his extra get out of jail free card—of which there are a suspicious amount in Beetlejuice’s version of the game—Lydia laughs and swipes a bit of Beetlejuice’s money. Adam’s hiccupy cackles are the backdrop for Barbara robbing the bank in broad daylight, taking as many bills from the tray as her heart desires. 

Lydia’s life is certainly very strange and painfully unusual, but she wouldn’t trade it for the world. She can only hope that her mom will love being part of the attic’s menagerie of ghosts and ghouls as much as she does. 

[letsturnupthejuice]

ticklish male anon here, would you actually be up for that kink? Maybe you can force me to say your name three times~

Oh, now that's a challenge. We're gonna start of slow, just a breath over your skin to see how you react. The the tips of my nails barely touching you. I'm gonna find out which are the most sensitive spots on you, and leave them alone. It's going to be a drawn out process, baby, till we get right down to it.

[fluffomatic]

Holy shit I finished! The saga is complete lmao. I only did it in black and white cause I knew if I was gonna do color it would've taken too long. Hope y'all like it!

(My art don't repost but please reblog)

DO NOT TAG AS SHIP!!

[fanficsandfluff]

I will talk ALL DAY about beetlejuice and tickle hcs! I love beej and Lydia’s dynamic and you can’t convince me that Lydia doesn’t tickle beej any chance she gets, like, who can resist making the scariest demon giggle? He totally is also the most ticklish demon in addition to being the scariest demon, but watch out, because he’s also a devious ler 😈 10/10 worth tickling him though

OH YESSSSSS

this is even better bc I’m seeing it again tonight! can’t wait!

[top-tier-tickles]

I have a Dark Deception Tickle AU, but before I start showing that, here's some general tk headcanons:

Doug Houser:

• Switch

• Super heckin ticklish

• Worst spot is his thighs

• Wasn't tickled much in his life, so the sensation is a lot worse

• He isn't used to positive physical touch and affection due to.....y'know....his awful childhood

• "GAH- AHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT THE HEHEHEHEHELL?! STAHAP IT!"

• His underarms are a bad spot, too

• His back is ticklish as well

Like he can't even handle a simple back massage it's that sensitive

• He'll get you back....sometimes.....

• In the AU, Doug isn't killed by violent attacks, but dies from being tickled mercilessly to death

Helen Bierce:

• Ler

• Not ticklish at all

• If you hang around the ballroom instead of gathering ring pieces for too long, expect sharp nails skittering on your sides.

• "How amusing, they must've hit a good spot to get you screaming like that."

• Her tickles don't work on Malak, so she just uses physical violence on him

• When she gives you a new power, you feel a slight tingling sensation in your ears for a few seconds

Murder Monkies:

• Lers

• Are they ticklish? Nobody knows...

• Not even Malak

• In the AU, their hands are replaced with large feather dusters instead of knives

• They hold there victims down and gang up on them

• Expect raspberries aplenty

• In the AU, the Chef Monkey has giant feather rollers instead of pizza cutters

Agatha:

• Ler-leaning switch

• She's got them c l a w s, so of course she's skilled in tickling

• She'll scribble on your knees and elbows with a pen, so watch out

• She's a kid, so she's also ticklish

• Her worse spot is her sides

• Its all a bit of a game to her at first, it's only when Malak shows up is when she gets serious

• Her portals will shock you with electric tickles if you walk through them

Gold Watchers:

• Lers

• They're statues made of gold, so they're not ticklish at all

• Looking at one to freeze it only leaves room for another to sneak up on you

• They whisper teases in your ear when they get close

• The belts on their shoulders hold tools such as pens and brushes

• They gang up on you to hold you down. They're made of gold, so they're impossible to push off

• They will blindfold you so they can move freely without being frozen

• Their axes are replaced with feather dusters

Dread Duckies:

• Switches

• They have feathers, so they're masters on the giving end

• They will laugh if you ruffle their feathers, however

• Their laugh is very squeaky

• Their tickles are very gentle

• The mini heads in their mouths will hold you up by the collar of your shirt and let the other duckies have at you

• Doom Ducky is the same, but their hands are the only ticklish spot on them

Clown Gremlins

• Lee-leaning switches

• These little shits are hyperticklish

• They sound like Beetlejuice when they laugh

• Tbh, they love tickles, both giving and receiving

• Death spot is the belly

• They'll pile up and have at you

• During the bossfight, the minis hold you down while the goliaths gently scratch you

Reaper Nurses:

• Lers

• They don't let anyone except their own touch them, so nobody knows if they're actually ticklish

• The little medical exams are very ticklish in the AU

• The needles they have with make you more sensitive

• When they have you on the floor, they'll trace their fingers along your back, using the excuse of analyzing your spine and muscles

• The electric traps tickle you, too

• Matron doesn't tickle, she just kills you

Joy Joy gang:

• They're all switches

• Lucky is the most ruthless when it comes to tickling, teasing about how he "never loses"

• Lucky's ears and sides are super sensitive, though

• Penny will push you down and squish your belly, her feathers make it worse

• She'll squeal and squawk if you ruffle her neck feathers

• Hangry always goes for the ribs and sides

• Its Hangry's belly, go for his belly

• In the AU, they wear belts with baby oil and other tools

• Joykill is a monster ler

Mama Bear:

• Ler-leaning switch

• She's a mom, so she's trained in this field

• She's only abusive to mortals, but a VERY good mother to demons

• Malak is the only one that tickles her

• Her voice is veeery teasy

• "Look out~ Mama's gonna make you smile!~"

• Will not hesitate to use nursery rhymes to tease her victims

• The Trigger Teddies will climb on you to nibble and scratch you

• The Trigger Teddies are also very ticklish, however.

• In her mutated form, Mama holds you with her hand and gives you raspberries with the giant teddy hand

Malak:

• Ler-leaning switch

• Ticklish and he fuckin hates it

• He only allows Mama Bear and Agatha to tickle him

• His ears are sensitive, but only Mama knows that :3

• Chases you down in his shadow form and w r e c k s you

• "Now, tell me mortal, what makes you SCREAM?~"

• Worst spot is the underarms

And that's everything for now! Let me know if ya'll want some more!

[shasha-writes-things]

@shit-id-never-post-on-my-main

I love your prompts this account is chefs kiss

What if Beej figured out you were ticklish?

Beetlejuice would immediately take advantage of this information honestly anytime you were about to leave him alone for even a second he stops you and springs to tickling you to keep you there.

If you were to have... bedroom time he would use it to tease you not tickling you too much but just enough to tease you and enough so he could hear that cute giggle.

He also saw that even if you seemed pissed off that this would manage to cheer you up so when you were upset he'd tickle you to see a smile.

[moose-muffin]

give hcs for whatever ur in the mood for rn 👀

UGH ILYSM THANK YOU <3

this is going to be one big jumbled mess bc I’m thinking about so much right now but let’s go!!!!

- sallah from raiders of the lost ark: bro has been on my mind since I finished that movie… he’s just such a guy I wanna give him a hug so badly <3 (also spoiler alert he’s played by john rhys davies so no surprises here LOL) I just know his character would be so ticklish though and the idea of digging my fingers into his belly brings me so much joy >;) absolutely evil ler mood oh my goodness. hes also a fatherly character (BIG SURPRISE /s) and so listen him as a ler!? groundbreaking, earth shattering even!!!! lowkey wanted him to tickle my boy indie in the movie but oh well

- mini jessie and james headcanon!!!!! so in my head they’re together right and I think tickling would become such a part of their lives. jessie is so ler and james is so lee right, but james DEFINITELY gets these ler moods for jessie that are just like dramatic as hell and he does not disappoint. jessie runs for her LIFE MAN!!! and as much as she protests, of course she loves every second of it. She’s an ass but she’s so sweet under all of it

- lowkey ten seconds away from writing headcanons about myself LMAO jkjk but seriously I’ve been in such a swing of lee moods to ler moods and it has truly been all over the place I’m loving it

- OH BEETLEJUICE THE ANIMATED SERIES REWATCHING RECENTLY AND LYDIA AS A LER AND BJ AS A LEE!? SCREAMING CRYING I WANT TO SEE IT NOW <3

there’s probably more and ill think of them and maybe post them later but thank you for this wonderful opportunity kaz, you are the best <3 if you have any you want me to write pls lmk!!!