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heartofether · 4 years

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Season One Q&A - Part One TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

VAL

Hey, there. Just wanted to let you all know that after we recorded our season one Q&A, we decided that because it ran so long, it would be a much better listening experience if we cut it into two parts. So, what you are listening to right now is part one. If you asked a question and you don’t hear it in this part, I can guarantee you it will be in the second one. Thank you all so much and enjoy the Q&A!

[MUSIC PLAYS FOR A FEW SECONDS]

LUKA [AS THE MUSIC FADES]

Hello everyone, welcome to My Brother, My Brother, and Me.

[VAL LAUGHS.]

LUKA

[THROUGH LAUGHTER] An advice show for the modern era. I guess, should I just try it and then if it sounds really bad, like, I’ll immediately back out?

VAL

Yeah, you can try.

LUKA

Hello, everyone. Welcome to The Heart of Ether season one Q&A! [THEY HUFF A LAUGH.] How are you feeling today, Val?

VAL

Feeling great. [BEAT] Was that it?

LUKA

That sounded like something.

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

LUKA

Should we introduce ourselves? I don’t know.

[PAUSE.] Um. I mean, probably.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

That would be good. [BEAT] Do you want to go first? [THEY LAUGH.]

VAL

Yeah. Um, my name is Val. I’m the writer and producer of The Heart of Ether, as well as the voice of Rosemary Quinn.

LUKA

Woo!

VAL

You’ve probably heard me say that several times at the beginning of episodes by now.

LUKA

[SMALLER] Woo!

VAL

So—

LUKA

Cheers.

VAL

Cheers.

LUKA

And— [THEY LAUGH.] Who am I? My name—nope. I’m gonna start that sentence over.

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

LUKA

And I’m Luka Miller! I play Irene, and I make music—no, I don’t. Yeah, I do.

[MORE LAUGHTER.]

LUKA

[CONT.] I do the music for the show.

So, we got a lot—I sound so disinterested. I’m not, I promise. I’m just trying to be cohesive.

VAL

[OVERLAPPING, THROUGH LAUGHTER] You’re fine, you’re fine.

LUKA

So we got sent a lot of very good questions. I’m going to moderate, I guess. Moderate is the worst word I could use—

VAL

In quotation marks.

LUKA

“Moderate” in quotation marks. There’s two people here, and I’m asking the questions. Interviewer? Question mark? That’s fine.

VAL

[OVERLAPPING] Wow, that’s so fancy.

LUKA

Okay, so, I was going to save my question for last, but I think it’s actually a good intro question.

VAL

Okay.

LUKA

So starting right off the bat.

VAL

Okay.

LUKA

This is a question from me. Are you ready?

VAL

[SOMEWHAT NERVOUSLY] Yeah?

LUKA

So you bring this up in an episode, and I felt the need to ask it to where there was an answer. I think it’s Episode 7? If it’s not Episode 7, it’s not—that’s going to look really bad on me.

[VAL LAUGHS.]

VAL

It’s fine, it’s fine.

LUKA

Every time I think something happened, I say it’s in Episode 7.

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

LUKA

Um. Who was Irene’s anime crush in middle school?

VAL

See, you’re the one asking me that, but you’re the one who knows her name. ‘Cause I haven’t seen this—’cause we talked about this. We had a discussion about this, but I don’t remember the girl’s name.

LUKA

Okay, ‘cause I was—okay, ‘cause here’s the thing: I know who we kind of agreed on when we first had the conversation, but I was wondering if we had, like, settled on it.

VAL

I hadn’t given it any additional thought. I mean, I guess like...haven’t watched an anime in long enough to like, come up with a cohesive thought about who it would be.

LUKA

Um, the original answer was Bishamon from Noragami. [PAUSE] Because—

VAL

I—

LUKA

[CONT.] Because that was my, uh— [WHEEZE] Uh, can we edit that out?

[VAL LAUGHS.]

LUKA

That’s a joke. You can leave it in, but like— [THEY LAUGH.] I am exposing myself a little bit here. She’s kinda sexy.

VAL

I mean—you know what? I think that’s an acceptable answer.

LUKA

Yeah?

VAL

Like, I think that’s solid.

LUKA

Okay.

VAL

I can’t think of anything better.

LUKA

Okay. I just figured the people needed to know, so I wanted to throw it in there.

VAL

[OVERLAPPING] Now the people know.

LUKA

The people know.

Okay, so, the next ten questions are all from the same person. Shoutout to Jes.

VAL

Truly a homie.

LUKA

Jesse Smith. We love you. The light of my life. I feel like this just sounds like I’m just talking to some random person, uh—Jes is everything. We love Jes.

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

VAL

Jes, um—

LUKA

We know Jes personally. It’s not weird, I promise.

VAL

For context of the show, Jes is voice of Dr. Michaels in Episode 7. Kinda forgot that happened, not gonna lie.

LUKA

Yeah, Jes—Jes in the show. Cheers. Good for them.

VAL

Cheers.

LUKA

I wonder if Jes will ever be in the show again.

VAL

Wow!

LUKA

Probably—[DEADPAN] Never. They won’t.

[VAL LAUGHS.]

LUKA

Alright, number one. You’re gonna hate this question.

VAL

Okay.

LUKA

“Do you have an estimation for the season two or season two trailer release date?”

[VAL SIGHS.]

VAL

That’s a great question. [BEAT] No.

[LUKA LAUGHS.]

LUKA

The answer is soon.

VAL

Soon. I don’t have any exact dates or times for you.

LUKA

It’s written.

VAL

Season two trailer is written. The actors have read over it. Will not say who those actors are.

LUKA

It’s been cast, though. Everything is set up to get it recorded.

VAL

Yeah. Also, while trailer is technically very close to being ready, I do not want to give you guys trailer and then you have to wait, like, seven months for season two or something crazy like that. Like, I wanna wait a little bit.

LUKA

Yeah, but we do have a few things that will be going up—

VAL

Yeah, that’s true.

LUKA

[CONT.] —in the few—in the next coming weeks.

VAL

That’s true.

LUKA

Um, some of which are very exciting. I will not—

VAL

Some of it’s still being planned.

LUKA

Shh. Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it. But, exciting things coming before trailer.

VAL

Yeah, so, trailer will be coming hopefully soon, but you will also have plenty of bonus content besides trailer to look forward to.

LUKA

This one is fun: “If the main cast of characters was in D&D, what class would they be? Additionally, do any of them actually play D&D?”

VAL

[THINKING] This one’s gonna take me a moment.

LUKA

I think—oh, I was gonna say something, but that was gonna be really dumb. Valencia Wizard.

VAL

I think you’re right about that. I think Valencia Wizard makes a lot of sense. Dorothy, also, I guess in that case.

I think Irene would be a Druid, and that’s primarily just because forestry—

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] Forest School.

VAL

[THEY CHUCKLE.] Yeah. Forest School.

Carol would be—I think Carol would just be a Fighter. Just like, a basic Fighter. I can’t think of anything better for her. Uh—me forgetting every D&D class.

Hold on, I have one: Aden would be a Bard.

LUKA

Mmhm.

VAL

And he would exclusively play Mitski songs.

LUKA

[THEY CHUCKLE.] Good for him.

VAL

Good for him.

Phoebe, I think—Phoebe might also be a Wizard. But she might—I dunno, she might also be, like, a Sorcerer? I feel like that has an energy, but I’m not sure.

LUKA

I have a suggestion.

VAL

Okay.

LUKA

You can say no.

VAL

Alright.

LUKA

Holly maybe Ranger.

VAL

I was going to say Holly Barbarian, but Holly Ranger makes a lot more sense.

LUKA

Yeah?

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

This is specifically—[CENSORED BEEP TO HIDE SPOILERS.]

[VAL LAUGHS.]

LUKA

I think makes—I think, uh, it makes sense to me.

VAL

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. So, I—wait, what would Rose be?

Maybe Rose would also be a Bard? I think Rose would either be a Bard or a Monk.

LUKA

Ooh.

VAL

Like I feel like Monk has vibes.

LUKA

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think any of them actually play D&D?

VAL

I feel like Irene has at least tried to get into D&D at some point.

LUKA

I—

VAL

Aden definitely does, um—

[THEY BOTH CHUCKLE.]

LUKA

I think Irene went to, like, one D&D club meeting in college.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

Tried to learn it, and then felt bad about herself because she couldn’t remember the rules, and then didn’t go again.

VAL

That makes a lot of sense, yeah.

LUKA

This is not from personal experience, but it’s darn close.

[VAL LAUGHS.]

LUKA

Anyways—[THEY LAUGH.] Um, number three. Well, number four, but number three off of Jes’s list.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

“Has Irene had any pets in the past? If so, what were their names?” Other than, um—well, I guess he doesn’t count. Because he’s not her cat.

VAL

Yeah. Sir Griffin the Third was Irene’s cat in spirit. Like, not actually, but it was borderline just co-parenting at a certain point.

I feel like it would make sense if at some point, in like, her initial grieving process, she tried to get some sort of pet for her dorm. So maybe she had, like, a fish? But then she got really upset when the fish died, and like didn’t have the heart to get another one. I feel like that makes sense?

LUKA

That makes sense to me, and it’s very sad.

Okay, so num— [STUTTERING FOR A FEW MOMENTS, THEN] We’ve talked about this question a little bit.

[VAL LAUGHS.]

LUKA

[CONT.] I’ll preface that. This one is not—this one I cannot say Val did not see it before we started it, because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut about it, because it’s really funny to me.

It says, “Irene kin list drop?”

[PAUSE.]

VAL

Okay—

LUKA

And now, we’ve had a bit of a discussion about it, but I think there’s room for a lot more.

VAL

There’s room for a lot of improvement. Um, Moomin from Moominvalley.

LUKA

Mmhm. Abandonment issues.

VAL

Abandonment issues.

I have a really awful thought.

LUKA

What?

VAL

The tenth Doctor.

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] Now—

VAL

[OVERLAPPING] Reason being, Rose!

LUKA

Abandon—Rose, shaking hands with abandonment issues, tenth Doctor, yeah.

VAL

Yeah. The venn diagram—

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

LUKA

[THROUGH LAUGHTER] So, so far, we have Moomin, the tenth Doctor—

[MORE LAUGHTER.]

VAL

Um...we kind of—we kind of talked about this. I feel like—because we all know Irene really doesn’t like Twilight, but I feel like she has consumed Twilight at some point. Like, whether she saw the movies, or read the books out of curiosity, she knows Twilight. She just doesn’t want to admit it. So I feel like some inner part of her does identify with Alice Cullen.

LUKA

Yup.

[MUTTERS] Can I say that? Is that allowed?

VAL

What is it?

LUKA

I was gonna say Duck Newton.

[VAL LAUGHS.]

LUKA

Does that make sense?

[VAL SAYS SOMETHING INDISTINCT IN RESPONSE.]

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] Alternatively, Juno Devine.

VAL

That’s also really good.

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] I think Juno Devine, maybe.

VAL

Juno Devine has an energy.

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] There’s a fine line between Duck Newton and Juno Devine, and Irene’s treading it.

VAL

Yeah. So, um, Irene Gray kin list: Moomin, tenth Doctor, Alice Cullen, some mix of Duck Newton and Juno Devine. That feels—

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] That feels pretty answered to me.

VAL

That feels good.

LUKA

Okay, number five: “What was the most fun episode to record?”

Now, this is—personally speaking, we did not sit down—like, at first, it was sitting down and being like, “Oh, we need to record this specific episode.” And then we got ahead on certain episodes that were recorded, and then had to go back in and fill in chunks.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] So I don’t think it’s necessarily, like, what episode—

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

[CONT.] Because it was not all done at once for any of them.

VAL

Yeah. And that’s difficult for me, because the episodes that I remember recording the most aren’t the ones that were the most fun.

LUKA

[WITH DREAD] Yeah.

VAL

They were the ones that were the worst to record. Cough cough, Episode 12, cough cough. [THEY LAUGH.]

LUKA

[STRETCHED OUT] Yeah.

Um—I mean, I can talk about something I think was fun—

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

[CONT.] —but was simultaneously bad.

VAL

Yeah?

LUKA

Um. You had this realization after the fact, but that every single scene in Episode 12, by the time we finished it, had to have been re-recorded at least once.

VAL

Some of them several times.

LUKA

However, on the first take of—I think we ended up—no, we didn’t re-do Episode 11.

VAL

I don't—

LUKA

Like, I re-recorded “howdy, motherfucker” a decent amount of times, but other than that—

VAL

[OVERLAPPING] Yeah, and I’m sure—yeah, sorry, sidenote to that: you guys will at some point receive a compilation of just Irene saying “howdy, motherfucker” a bunch of times.

LUKA

It was not my highest moment, I will say that.

[THEY BOTH GIGGLE.]

LUKA

But Episode 11, the—when we went to record it, I had had surgery about two, three days before?

[MORE LAUGHTER.]

LUKA

[CONT.] Not, not on like, my arm or like, even like, my internal organs, but on my mouth. Like, in my gums.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

And so that was a whole process. Um, like obviously, we’ve left the question.

[THEY BOTH LAUGH.]

LUKA

We’ve left what was the most fun to record. But the entire time we were recording Episode 11, I was holding half of my cheek down, because if I laughed, I was going to tear my stitches. Could we have waited? Yes.

VAL

Did we?

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] Don’t be like us. [THEY LAUGH.]

VAL

Learn your lesson now.

LUKA

Um, I’m trying to think of, like, my most fun.

VAL

I guess...I don’t know.

LUKA

For me, it was probably recording with either Ayla or Cass. So maybe, either, what, 3 or 4?

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

[OVERLAPPING] That feels like it happened six years ago.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

I don’t remember. Um, recording with Cass was a lot of fun.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

I’ll say that. So, what, Episode 3?

VAL

That makes sense, yeah.

LUKA

If that’s the wrong number, I’m gonna get dragged. [THEY LAUGH]

VAL

No. You’re right, you’re right.

LUKA

Okay. Um, I think Mitski scene—

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

—and Cass and I trying to record while her cat scratched at the door, which, that’s Frank.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

Um, we—when there’s pause in the bloopers of me going, “Frank?” It’s ‘cause he was scratching at the door, trying to get in.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

Good for him. Alright. Uh, “what was your favorite line of the season?” Well-

VAL

This one feels pretty easy. Are we thinking of the same line?

LUKA

I mean probably.

VAL

Yeah, it’s probably “Howdy Motherfucker.”

LUKA

Yeah. I personally already, and you can cut this out too. I’m sorry I’m giving you more work but it popped into my head—

VAL

It’s okay—

LUKA

It popped into my head—actually you know what would be funny? If, um, I give this whole lead up to it and then you leave it in, and then you bleep out when I say the line.

VAL

Yeah?

LUKA

That would be really funny.

VAL

Okay, yeah.

LUKA

Um, I was gonna say this and then I realized that it’s not, um, in season one. But because you sent me first drafts for season two, my favorite is [BLEEPED OUT SPOILERS]

[LAUGHTER]

VAL

That is really good.

LUKA

So that’s actually my favorite line.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

And it’s just bleeped out, I think that would be funny. Anyways.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

“Howdy motherfucker.”

VAL

“Howdy motherfucker” is probably the highlight of the season.

LUKA

My alternate one is, “Well damn, Carol I don’t wanna die here.”

VAL

Yeah. [LAUGHING]

LUKA

Because of the meme that someone made edited over That 70s Show. “Damn Carol—”

VAL

I think about that—I think about that a lot.

LUKA

It’s actually one of my favorite things. [TAKES A BREATH] Um, “what are you most excited for in the future of the show?”

VAL

Um, I’m really excited to get to make merch for the show. Which, you know, we don’t really have anything officially to tell you guys yet, but we are, we are working on stuff. So generally for the show-

LUKA

Teehee.

VAL

I’m really excited for that. But also there are some very exciting moments in season two that I am super looking forward to people getting to hear.

LUKA

I’m really excited to start recording for season two.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

I think also specifically because there’s a lot of new, like, actors.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

And just having read, like, the first drafts of the first two episodes, the difference in like Irene interacting with Aden and Carol versus the characters that she’s, like, interacting with in the first two episodes of season two is, um, wildly different. Um, very excited to get bullied by other actors, I guess.

VAL

Season two just: Irene bully club.

LUKA

It is. Actually, you know what, you don’t have to listen to season two that’s it. [BEAT] Moving on.

“What is Carol’s favorite band?” I was—I don’t know why but it popped into my head Mumford and Sons.

[LAUGHTER]

VAL

See—hmm.

LUKA

Or like, Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood.

VAL

Kelly Clarkson’s an artist. Am I allowed to answer an artist instead of like—

LUKA That makes, yeah, yeah. I don’t think Jes is gonna drag you—

VAL

Am I allowed to say Jimmy Buffet?

LUKA

Yes?

[LAUGHTER]

LUKA

Yeah you can I guess. I mean if you really want to. If you wanna commit to that—

VAL

I don’t think I can, actually, hold on, I’ll edit this out, I genuinely can’t think of anything. I’m trying to think of something that’s like borderline southern but like not all the way southern.

LUKA

Florida Georgia Line.

VAL

I almost said The Mountain Goats but that feels too queer for Carol.

LUKA

Mmhmm. I feel like maybe she listens to Keith Urban.

VAL

That makes sense.

LUKA

Like I know you said borderline country and that’s straight up country, or maybe like- oh my roots are showing- um Dierks Bentley, Keith Urban.

VAL

Yeah

LUKA

Uh, what’s his name, Luke Bryan… One off naming all the country men my mother used to listen to- aw what if my mom listens to the QnA?

[LAUGHTER]

LUKA

I’m sorry, mom! Does that—

VAL

I can’t think of a better answer. I feel like, okay. Honorary answer, outside of all of the country stuff, I do feel like Carol would like Elton John.

LUKA

Yeah.

VAL

Like, just a little bit at least. Vibes. Yeah.

LUKA

Yeah. Give her credit, give her credit.

VAL

I’ll give her some credit.

LUKA

Okay. Now this one is prefaced with “This is by far the most important question.”

VAL

Okay?

LUKA

“Does Carol have horses?”

VAL

She lives in an apartment.

[LAUGHING]

LUKA

Jes, Jes is very dedicated to horse girl Carol.

VAL

Where would she put them? No Jes? Jes message me after this comes out and tell me where would Carol put them?

LUKA

I, I think you can really tell um the difference between this list of ten questions from someone that we talk to every day, versus probably the way the tables are gonna turn as soon as we move on from this chunk of questions. But, no, Jes, please explain.

VAL

Yeah. No, my messages are open.

LUKA

Okay, number ten, from Jes. Last one.

VAL

Okay.

LUKA

“How long has Aden collected knitted cats, and does he have a favorite?”

VAL

I think he’s been doing it for a couple of years. I think it’s a combination of cats that he has tried to knit himself and cats that he has found at thrift stores, yard sales, wherever he can get his hands on them.

And I think his favorite is one that he made with an eye that’s, like a little bit lopsided? Like it’s a little bit off, but he’s so attached to it because it took him so long and it was like the first he ever made, and that’s his favorite. Yeah.

LUKA

Yeah, that sounds right.

VAL

And its name?

LUKA

Oh, you’re really, you’re putting pressure on yourself. I thought we were gonna move on, but no please, tell us the name.

VAL

Its name is Pearl. That’s not a funny name, that’s just a name.

LUKA

I mean that’s good enough.

VAL

That’s good enough!

LUKA

It’s funny if you let it be.

VAL

Someone will make a joke about it.

LUKA

Alright, we’re moving on from Jes question, we can’t be mean to the question askers.

Okay. So this is from megnotmargaret on tiktok. Now, the first question on here, I remember looking at it, and I was like, oh, well this question’s gonna be answered by the time this comes out, however there are a few things that I wanna bring up in regards to it. So the question was, “Will we be getting any bloopers?”

So the answer is obviously yes. But. I felt there were a few things that needed to be brought up. There are bloopers that we can’t find. There are specific bits of bloopers that we know exist, and when we were looking through the audio to get our bloopers out, we could not find them. So—

VAL

Also, due to like remote recording, we had some really funny excellent bits in there, like some really excellent inside jokes from recording, i.e. “vegan garlic,” that just couldn’t make it in because we didn’t record the conversation happening.

LUKA

One of my favorite ones is the clip of you in the bloopers going “uh—hello?” But you can’t hear the other end of it.

VAL

Cause—let me give the context for that. Basically, we were recording episode twelve. It was Cass and I on the call, doing Rose’s part. And while I was recording this really serious Rose monologue, Cass started singing to herself on the other end of the call, and I got really confused.

LUKA

Cass said: I’ve never seen the mute button in my life. Don’t know her.

Um, also one more thing that I wanted to say about the bloopers before we move on, because I think at some point we had it in our heads that we were gonna clarify, like at the beginning of the bloopers, but we didn’t, the clip of me saying “blah blah blah blah blah, next time I cry, I’m gonna get Helen out.” Helen is the name of my microphone. I felt the need to give a little bit of context.

VAL

Yeah.

LUKA

I do have a new microphone, it is no longer Helen, but she lives on in spirit.

VAL

Rest in peace, Helen.

LUKA

Rest in peace, love. You never got to—no I’m not gonna try and do the joke. There’s nothing in my head. The joke is—I was gonna explain the joke but… we’re recording this on Michael right now, so that’s the joke.

VAL

Yeah.

VAL [ANNOUNCEMENT, OUTSIDE OF THE CONVERSATION]

Look forward to part two coming out in two weeks. Thank you for listening!

#heart of ether transcripts

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sonicringbond · 4 years

Text

Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey - Scene 16

And here we go, the second update since the schedule change! It’s really so weird only posting twice a week, but survey results implied that would be best for everyone.

Onto the scene itself, I’m really enjoying writing with a dual narrator approach. I need to be really careful with it in the future though as it’s very easy to over use it. But that’s for me to worry about. For everyone else I just ask that you enjoy...

“OW! Is that really necessary!”

Rosy held nothing back as she yelped in tune to the jingling of lost Rings. The black robed priest looked at her confused that she would ask, but still answered her all the same.

“It is customary to strike free the Rings that we come into contact with on our travels.”

“But you could just ask me!” Rosy huffed while puffing up her cheeks. “I don’t see the point but if you just asked, I would turn them over.”

The priest sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he shook his head. “You do not understand child. The nature of the Rings… If we do not strike you the energies binding them to this world will not be released.”

“Hrmm~!” Her cheeks growing redder and larger as she tried to keep in her anger, Rosy eventually let it all go with a sigh. “I still don’t see the point. Rings are helpful.”

“They are an accursed thing child. Were you not taught this already?”

“I’ve been taught plenty of times, but where I’m from Rings are just accepted as normal and used to keep everyone connected.”

“It’s hard to fathom such a distant land exists,” the priest scoffed and again Rosy’s cheeks puffed up in frustration. It was unlikely she would get anywhere with the priest and soon headed off, though not without pulling down on an eyelid and sticking her tongue out at him when he was not looking.

~I know making faces at the priest wasn’t going to help me, but he was such a jerk I had to do something. He also wasn’t why I had traveled to Jutting Rock Village either. Though it wasn’t like I could just walk around town and stumble onto the source of the rumors. Not that I didn’t want to walk around town. Tee-hee~♫

~No one knew where the ancient ruin had come from, or even what it was built for. The town itself had been built on it sometime in the past and even past Ring Shifts had not dislodged it. That afforded the town a sort of fun atmosphere as no one was scared of losing their homes. Windmills adorned various streets and stairwells that threaded through the ruin and high up to it’s upper reaches. The stone slab road seemed kind of silly compared to the colorful pebbly roads of the town. Trees growing out of the side of the ruin were amazing to see to. And it wasn’t just the ruin either, everything had plants of some kind or another covering it. The moss and flowers were my favorites, though some of the vines looked like they could lead me to interesting places. It was the type of town I could get happily lost in so easily. Fortunately for me I was kind of famous in a way, tee-hee~!~

“Excuse me miss.”

“Hm?” Rosy tilted her head back as someone called from among the busy market stall lined street. Turning fully around to see if she could figure out who called her, a young human man with pasty skin tumbled out of the crowd holding a cloth to his sweaty brow. He was well dressed as though he worked for someone important but seemed terribly flustered and worn out. “Did you call me?”

Walking to the man as he braced himself on his knees Rosy clasped her hands behind her back and began to sway absent mindedly.

“Y-yes!” The man exclaimed between gasping breathes. He was obviously not in good shape and Rosy felt sorry for him.

“I hope I didn’t upset you at all,” Rosy somewhat apologized as she looked him over curiously. He did not appear to be a threat, but alone as she was in a strange land Rosy could not afford to be too careful. She was sure though that it was more likely him that needed help rather than her and offered him such. “Maybe I could help you out?”

“P-p-please! If you would be so kind miss.”

Scratching her cheek Rosy laughed nervously. “Well, if it isn’t too much I guess.”

~I have a love of fortune telling and keep a deck of tarot cards with me, my oldest friends really, so I knew before I ever arrived that today would be fortunate. The silly man who called out to me was a servant of an old man who saw me from his bedroom window while I was wandering around town. His reason for wanting to see me was kind of sad though, even if it was fortunate for me.~

“AH~! It’s really everyone! I can’t believe it!” Rosy eyes shimmered with joy at the framed picture of her and her friends on a bedside table in a plush and cozy room of a well-off sapient owl. In material wealth at least. Looking from the table to the venerable owl who lay in his bed watching her with eyes that had almost lost all sight to an unsightly white film, Rosy’s tail stopped wagging and she calmed herself down. “If you don’t mind me asking, where did you get it?”

“It’s a funny story,” the owl breathed, smiling at Rosy. “My son came across it and thought you were perhaps performers. It has been some time since I’ve watched any and he thought it would cheer me up bound to bed as I am. Imagine my surprise when I saw you walking by garbed as you are. The way you carried yourself It was obvious that you were no performer, but rather a traveler. Such a curious outfit for that lifestyle.”

“Well, it’s kind of multipurpose,” Rosy laughed embarrassed. “I can run, and tumble, and swim in it, and it’s so pretty too. Though I don’t remember how I got it anymore, just that I wear it when I travel…”

A sad smile came to Rosy’s face and she kicked at the carpeted floor as she clasped her hands behind her back. She was not one to dwell on sorrows though and thought she would cheer up the old owl instead. “But, while I’m not a performer I tell fortunes as a hobby and could tell you yours if you’d like. Or maybe I could try to perform a little bit. I’m pretty acrobatic and good at tumbling and somersaults and twirling!”

“Why that would be delightful! Yes, I would like that very much!”

~And so, I did my best to entertain the kindly old owl. He was so much nicer than the pirate owl who was chasing me and my friends. And maybe it was his age or health, but it was his son’s fortune he wanted to know and not his. I’m glad it was a good one too as it made him so happy.

~I ended up staying in town for another day or so trying to figure out how I could ask him for the picture. It would help so much in finding everyone, but it made him so happy to imagine us being traveling performers that I couldn’t just take it from him. But I didn’t need to.

~His house servant found me again while I let myself get lost in town. He was really sad too as the old owl had passed away. His last request of his house servant was to let me have the picture so I could find my friends. It was just like my cards had foretold. I would be very fortunate in Jutting Rock Village. But why did the old owl have to die?

~No matter how many times I’ve watched the sun rise and set I know I haven’t aged a day. Is it because I interact with the Rings in this strange land? It doesn’t make sense. I don’t know. But I do know I don’t want to waste the old owl’s gifts. He wanted me to find my friends and so I will. With the help of the picture he gave me.~

“But I wonder who made it?” Rosy pondered aloud as she walked along the stone slab road that led from Jutting Rock Village. “I know we didn’t have time to make a picture after we took it, so how?”

Pulling the folded photograph from one of the puffy shoulders of her leotard, Rosy finally noticed writing on the back.

“This is–!”

-If you’re reading this Rosy-lass, consider it a gift from your friend, Mach Frog Gill. Though really, just me tossing fortunes to the wind and hoping it’ll indebt you to me instead. I could always use help gathering more Rings.-

“What do you even need Rings for Gill?” Rosy laughed and wiped away the tears welling in her eyes. “No one likes them to begin with that I’ve met. Ooh~! I guess I’ll just have to find you too so I can ask!”

Her mind made up, and a clue to finding someone she knew in hand, Rosy picked up her pace and soon was speeding along at a pace that would take her to distant lands in hours. Her next adventure had begun, and she would chase it to the ends of the world.

Scene 16 · CLEARED Rosy the Traveler, End

-----

And there we are, the first episode of Rosy the Traveler. I hope everyone enjoyed this tinier and more intimate style of adventure with the dual narrator approach. And perhaps it’s a bit of a sad story, but I really hope everyone enjoyed it all the same and will look forward to the next episode.

Thank you everyone!

-----

Story Format by @cutegirlmayra Story by @JoshTarwater/SonicFanJ Illustration by Nella @NellaSanchz on Twitter Inspiring Song - Granblue Fantasy — Lumacie Archipelago Mysterious Forest

Fair Use Disclaimer

Sonic the Hedgehog and all affiliated characters and logos are the express property and Copyright© of SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS used without permission under Title 17 U.S.C Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976 in which allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. “Fair use” is use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be considered copyright infringement. The Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey alternate universe (AU) consumer written work of fiction is a non-profit transformative work primarily for personal use and can and will be taken down without warning or prior notice at the request of the copyright holder(s) should it not be recognized under “fair use”.

*Sonic Ring Bond logo created by DEE Art – twitter.com/daryliscute.

Sonic Ring Bond AU and Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey are the creation of Joshua David Tarwater/ynymbus/sonicfanj/@Joshtarwater and is to be, including all contents herein considered for all legal purposes the property of the Sonic the Hedgehog intellectual property (IP) and copyright owners, SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS. All story contributors via prompt, suggestion, written scene, art, and all and every other contribution acknowledge that all contributed material is forfeit for legal purposes to SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS upon official request from SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS.

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic fan fiction #sonic au #sonic au series #sonic ring bond #the journey #classic amy #amy rose #rosy the rascal #au amy #amy redesign

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sevsfantasy · 4 years

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why r you done w dttdt?

Hello anon~ soz for the late reply, was procrastinating I’m gonna assume you meant ‘dttwt’ and this is referring to my first ever post in this blog? Lol that was months ago but issok, I’m done with twt depending on the side of the bed I wake up in. I find twitter to be generally more tiring, and I already don’t have much energy to burn online. Before I say anything else, here is the compulsory ‘I know dttwt has a lot of amazing people!’ statement (/lh) I mean, I still do use twitter lmao bc what am I meant to do on my free time if not play 50/50 with twt whether going there would ruin my mood or not </3 More under the cut if you’re up for my ramblings. No dttwt-loving here since you asked why I’m done.

uhh here’s more disclaimer so hopefully people don’t misunderstand my words, this isn’t me generalizing all of dttwt but just parts of it that I experienced. I may sound mean and definitely sarcastic, but I swear this is mostly light hearted from my end lmao

- Unneeded drama (surprising, I know /s)

- They’re yet to learn the art of dealing with things privately.

- The constant clout chasing. I don’t really have anything against those who do (Idek them), it’s just tiring to see all the time. The “spare #?” Haha no. And like, there IS a hierarchy in dttwt, admit it or not. DTeam interaction, follower count and heck, even being an “OG” when those OGs posts their poorly worded reminiscing tweets that come off as gatekeepy to newer stans then wonder why they make people upset lol

- They usually have this counterproductive way of dealing with things they don’t want attention to. i.e. tweeting a screenshot of something they allegedly don’t want DTeam to see (as if they don’t know our beloved blob doesn’t lurk there). - Their obsession with the UK vlog. I just think it’s tasteless that they still fill George’s replies with stuff about the vlog. They also ask for proof that it’s real when Dream and George has given them that but they didn’t believe.

- Their need to assert their spot in having the moral high ground. How many call out posts do I have to see in my tl that probably don’t even reach their intended audience? Me, being tired of it doesn't mean I think it's bad, I'm just tired. How many nsfw fics are they gonna mention just to feel good about themselves? That there are “gross people” out there making those? (if you make nsfw content for DTeam, unapologetically make them since they’re fine with it... or consume those works? You do you haha). I’m so done with people posting about nsfw fics just to collectively freak out with their followers. DMs and GCs exist, please, if you really must scream. On another note, they don’t want to be generalized but also do it to the other platforms of DTeam fandom. They hated the ‘ever so horny’ DTTiktok so much that the A1 idea came to be. (I know some who did it and others that didn’t)

- Their hatred towards DTeam shippers. This kinda goes with the point above but I just want it to have a point of its own lmao They can get so hostile against shippers who haven’t even done anything wrong, even though DTeam has repeatedly said they’re fine with it. Additionally, shipping =/= sexualizing... tho Idk if they’ve now fully accepted that they stan the biggest dnf shipper, Mr.WasTaken, himself. shipping sells and he knew it

- The distaste towards fanfiction. They think it’s so weird to write rpf but it’s praiseworthy if done in illustrations. Fanarts/Fancomics can get as shippy as possible and they get a pass (as long as it’s not nsfw). Don’t get me wrong, I love artists and I am an artist myself. I kinda get it that it takes less time to consume visual art than a fic that you have to read, but the double standard with written fanworks and illustrations are just mehh. BUT HEY, it’s okay to read/write fanfics IF it’s a joke, as if the only way to enjoy fics is by mocking the craft.

- The copypastas that only hit the jackpot in being funny once in a blue moon. At worst, it’s their go to in dealing with arguments/statements they don’t agree with ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Another incident, might be a nitpick but Idk, turning non-crack fanfiction summaries into copypastas. Dttwt touching fanfics just makes my insides shrivel up because of the point above. I write fanfics too and I’m not fond about the idea of my fics having twitter publicity. Of any kind.

I think that’s about it? for now but dw, the account that annoy me most is twitter user dreamwastaken2 (/hj) and most of all, the thing I really hate about twitter is the character limit.

So yea, in conclusion, I don’t like twitter.

#asks #dttwt #it's 8am I gotta sleep #I'm not sorry that it's messy #god I wrote so much

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koiandjelly · 4 years

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So Fila’s actual past isn’t very detailed, because she’s not a main OC, and I haven’t spent a ton of time actually thinking about her as a character lol. 98% of my Creativity goes to my original content characters, cuz someday when I finish actually crafting my worlds, I’m gonna write a book. I’m aiming for the lofty goals of making a full, fleshed out, intricate— just fuckin’... a whole ass Multiverse system comparable to the Lore content of Tolkien’s works, or The Elder Scrolls— gah fuck y’know what, I’m changing this post from being about my Fantasy Life OC to being about my creation baby, the effort of about 6 years (I am 20 years old, and although I didn’t know it at the time I started, I was 14 when I made the shitty Fire Emblem Manakete rip-off race that I’m gonna actually now talk about, because holy fuck this ain’t gonna fit in a parenthesis “btw have some info” bubble)

A’ight so I have a hard time keeping track of time, especially in a large scale across years. Apparently it’s related to being severely depressed without medication (communication error on my part, my parents are very lovely and helped me ASAP when I spilled the beans) while also having moderate to severe ADD. So, ya know, keep in mind that I was yet another terribly depressed 8th grader when I talk about my creation’s early days. I wouldn’t experience that time of my life for any sort of payment ever. It was goddamn miserable, because when I was midway through the age of 14, not only did the aforementioned depression spring up, but I also realized I was bisexual (And I live in the infamous state of Alabama, for reference. Don’t fear for me though, I was too unnoticeable to be bullied if anyone did know, and my wonderful mother, whom I love and cherish with all of my heart, is one of the few Christians that actually... like... do what their own God tells em to. That is, Jesus. I’m an atheist and have a general discomfort about the idea of super powerful entities actually existing irl, but I do agree with the stuff I’ve heard and remember from a decade ago in Church about Jesus. Good guy. But yeah my mom not only accepted me and reassured me when I came out, but she’s gone even further and is of the opinion/fact that lgbt folks are, really, good and normal and that God created them, so she really genuinely just... loves and accepts me. There’s no “I love you despite of this” in the equation and I am so grateful. But again. I digress)

Pause after that sidetrack, to recap, all of my medical issues began to emerge about 6 months before I turned 15. Including what I hate most, the emergence of my Fibromyalgia and Sjogren’s Syndrome, and for an added kick to the flesh, an undifferentiated connective tissue disorder. Meaning, as what I understand it to be, a nameless chimaera of many symptoms in a way that the disorder either is it’s own thing, or just can’t easily be recognized as any one disorder. And I had anxiety. If I recall correctly on *that*, forgive me cuz it’s been a while since it’s been diagnosed/brought up in a significant way, I have or had either general anxiety *and* social anxiety, or just lightweight versions of both, or something, but at the time I was horribly shy and I couldn’t even talk to the teacher after class about schoolwork, even though I tried rationalizing it to hell and back that I shouldn’t be scared— as you’ll guess, shit didn’t work out til I got medicine for it, because no amount of logic and rational thought will change the fact that I was struggling because of a literal disorder, an error of the brain, and as with that walking with two shattered femurs ain’t gonna work, trying to talk when the talk machine broke... ain’t going to goddamn work.

God. I am rambling a lot. But anyway, shit fucking sucked as a teen for me, because I got that wombo combo, prepare for trouble, make it double, precision strike at my existence as a person during fucking already difficult puberty— I am rambling. It’s 4:55am as of this sentence lmao. I had a nasty cocktail of both mental illness and physical disorders pop up once puberty hit me, so I, through many events starting from loving to draw as a toddler, to play pretend stories of heartbreak, betrayal, and death as best an 8 year old could understand via playing with Polly Pockets, and all the creative power I inherited from my Dad, plus the motivation borne through a need to escape, I started making my own characters.

So, to return to the present state of my creations, which will now be referred to as Bounding Beyond the Stars, or BBtS, I’m gonna get some things out of the way. Just to clarify, yeah? I have created my worlds in a way that is specifically meant to stand apart from the irl universe as we know it. I’m certainly not a knowledgeable researcher with any level of comprehension on Spacial law and quantum physics and shit like that. So hey, if something ever seems... like, off, or wrong? Unless it’s pretty obviously wrong in the “hey you just googled how a thing works, and misunderstood it, and made a detail based on a failure to understand stuff and that’s dumb in a catastrophic way that even a high school level viewer would notice...” kind of mistake, then hey, shoot me a message. But if some sort of universal rule seems fucky in the way that it doesn’t make sense, but isn’t a catastrophic structural error... well, Imma use that sentence to start a better one. For an example of a catastrophic error, perhaps... this: “This planet has no seasons cuz of its shape and axis! And it is also like twice as big as Earth!” That would be catastrophic alone because anyone with a grasp on planetary gravity or something, may go and think “if it’s that big, gravity’s gonna be way more intense”. And you’d be right! Which is why I usually account for those things with... *Magic*.

Before I split this post for Length reasons, and I’m sorry the majority of this was me rambling about how my general experience with life sucked from ages 14-17, I’mma state something very important about all my creations.

Magic, which will be explained in depth at a later point, is a fundamental, essential, and omnipresent force of not just any one universe in my Multiversal Trio. It is a key piece of Reality itself, as magic is the flow of many multiples of millions of unique and mysterious energies, concepts, and laws existing anywhere that Is.

To end this post, I’m going to put a quick summary and explanation why I’m rambling about any of this: The rant about my age and circumstances at the start are relevant because it’s necessary context for the tone and type of writing my creations are built upon. The foundations of BBtS are borne from a sometimes angsty, sometimes genuinely upset 14 year old who found escape in the art of Creation. There have been many, many, many heavy edits, rewrites, scrapped info and ideas, and even more info built upon it. It used to be pretty pointlessly edgy in a lot of ways, and redundant in grimdark, morphing into *grimderp* plot devices and character traits. The way it’s written today, I like to think the lore of my many high fantasy-alien societies, and all its denizens and creators and whatever else, are still written to be dark, be dangerous, even angsty... but more skillfully so, with the sort of nuance a 14 year old wouldn’t really even begin to understand. Cuz I still like high stakes stories with real consequences and character deaths when appropriate. And I enjoy characters who have tragic pasts, but now that I’m older and I’ve seen and read about and done so much more— I can write that stuff *better*. And more over, what I’m most satisfied with, is that I’m more in touch with myself as a person, and I’ve evolved many of my personal beliefs and ideals and all the things of the world I can have opinions on. But most of all, I’ve reached a point where I have consumed enough content from others to where I have figured out how to write something that should be interesting, and maybe a bit new, because I put a looot of Damn focus on identifying, and understanding, writing structure, cliches, plot holes to avoid, character traits to handle differently, and just generally making something that’ll appeal to both me, and my audience, should I get that far.

#original content #ramble #long ramble #worldbuilding #personal history #long post #fantasy #sci-fi #science fiction #it’s currently 5:24am as i think of appropriate tags lol #sleep deprived #late night/early morning thoughts

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literaphobe · 6 years

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hi michelle! so want to start saying that i identify as bi and honestly, I would LOVE it if jake was bi. I think it'd be great. But i'm also okay if he's not, bc how cool is it that they're allowing a man to break down traditional gender norms/roles! i think one of the greatest parts of loving a show like b99 is that it lets us escape the 'real world' for twenty minutes every week. and that means something different for every person watching the show. 1

SO while i believe you are entitled to your own opinions, and you can share them on your blog bc it's yours, i don't think its fair to invite people to share their opinions but shut down anyone who feels differently than you. for example, you said to someone who said they didn't care if jake was bi that you hope they 'get well soon'. also, you posted saying that if bi people didnt want jake to be bi then they're wrong. im sorry but thats really hurtful. you dont get to decide how people think 2

just bc someone feels differently than you doesnt make their feelings less valid, ESPECIALLY someone who identifies as lgbt+. you run a popular blog and it makes me sad to think people might feel their opinions are less valid or wrong bc they see it here. again, im not saying you cant have opinions or post them. but maybe just think about how your words can affect others. also saying this off anon bc i respect you and am open to having a conversation. Thanks for reading, hope u have a good day

hi. thank you for ur mannerly tone and for having the courage to go off-anon.

mlm/bi representation will always be more important than ‘straight man comfortable with his sexuality’. while i am not saying that straight men in media shouldn’t be portrayed as comfortable in their sexualities, the stance that it’s okay to take away representation from people in the lgbt community as long as we have Good Hets is harmful, and it gives people in the tv/movie industries a cop out. they don’t have to give us more lgbt characters! straight characters who Know What’s Up are good enough to make them seem woke and avoid criticism! and whether you’re comfortable with this happening as an lgbt has nothing to do with it. we have to hold the media accountable, we can’t just settle for less. whether you want to watch b99 uncritically or not is entirely up to you. i get that it’s exhausting to analyze the media content you consume! i more than understand just wanting to escape and not ask for more! it’s tiring! it’s draining! it’s disappointing, it hurts so much and it gets so so lonely. but we can’t just let the world stagnate. progress needs to be made constantly, and shows can’t be made to feel like they can just do one or two good things and not be expected to do anything else! i’m not asking you to fight for this, i just want the acknowledgement that this is the right thing to do

i didn’t exactly... invite anyone to say anything. i truly am just sending my thoughts out into the void. and yes, i am aware that my words reach a wider audience because i have a larger than average follower count. of course i know my words can affect others. that’s what i’m trying to do. aside from getting thoughts out my brain, i want to promote a less passive line of thinking. i want lgbt folk to want better for themselves. unfortunately, because words and actions have responses, people will climb into my inbox and start conversations that i inevitably have to take part in (sometimes i don’t though. it really depends on where my head’s at that day. having to discuss this repeatedly is draining). most of the time, i’m just making a statement

i don’t particularly enjoy “shutting down people who feel differently from me”. usually, if i’ve done that, i really am tired because i’ve likely discussed and explained numerous times whatever it is the person who got shut down said to me. i might also come off as mean-spirited or perhaps aggressive if i know some anon is just trying to pick a fight/spew hate at me. if you don’t understand where i’m coming from/don’t believe why having an opposing stance is harmful (this might vary depending on the issue), i am (given i have energy that day) more than willing to elaborate on whatever it is i say here. if i say stuff like ‘get well soon!’ it is a tired response to something i have already covered in depth and i am making some semblance of a joke to deflect/put a lid on the stuff i really want to say (likely because i have already said it)

i never said that bi people who didn’t want jake to be bi were wrong. i was trying to get them to think deeper and explore why they don’t want that. being lgbt sometimes means that we allow and normalize a lot of unfair treatment. we think that we have it good enough so we decide not to ask for more, to settle. and i will never blame any lgbt for falling victim to this line of thought. we were brought up to think this way, we were conditioned to think this way. acceptance does not equal inclusion, and sadly many of us are so grateful for the acceptance that we do not bother to even think about having inclusion. or, better inclusion, for that matter. of course, it is definitely not up to me to decide how anyone thinks. i’m just trying to convince you! very desperately. but if you don’t agree no matter what i say then what can i do? it’s your life. it doesn’t affect me much in the grand scheme of things. i’m not going to hate you for disagreeing. i’m not going to sic the dogs on you. am i going to be kind of annoyed if someone walks into my inbox, turns on anon, and hurls insults at me? yes, that’s hurtful, and it’s kind of funny sometimes depending on how dumb you sound, but it’s mostly tiring and a lot of pain. so like... read, if u don’t like it, move on, if your well-being is drastically affected from reading the things i say, i’ll tag it so you can blacklist

the sad thing is, being a member of the lgbt community doesn’t automatically make your opinions on lgbt issues valid/unproblematic. internalized homophobia exists. things i described in the point above can lead to this. just because a bi person says ‘im bi! and i don’t care/don’t think bi jake is important!’ doesn’t mean that suddenly, there is no need for him to be canonically bi, that we aren’t being queerbaited/pandered to by the show. do i think that the show is intentionally/heinously queerbaiting us? not exactly. but lack of awareness and lacking understanding on why bi-coding jake w no intention to make it canon is just as harmful bc it produces the same result (in jake’s case)

once again, i don’t intend for people to feel “less valid/wrong” when they read what i have to say on this blog. self-reflection is important. sometimes, people have opinions that are wrong! including myself! which is why more often than not i think deeply into the things people say to me here and consider whether my opinion holds up. you don’t have to feel bad for being wrong. we are all constantly wrong on stuff. everyone, at some point, has had a bad take/the wrong take on something. if you hold yourself up to this standard that you must always be right or you are suddenly a horrible person/must feel bad and demoralized, i suggest that you change your approach to issues such as this. i hate to say this but it is not my job to make sure everyone is 100% cool and chill about everything i do and say here. some things need to be said. some things need to be acknowledged. i’m sorry if any of you have been hurt/upset by anything i’ve ever posted but after a certain point... that is your issue and not mine

#ask #ncrit #sorry for the long post #thank you once again for being respectful #i hope this wasn't too harsh #i hope you have a nice day too :)#arnie-santiago

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inkth · 6 years

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cream of the crop pt. 1

pairing → mygxreader

genre → angst (in future parts), fluff

warnings → for this part, there are no warnings

word count → 6.6k

okAY so fyi this is unedited for now and i might come back to switch certain things up but oh my god in bon voyage there was a part where yoongi got a strawberry milkshake and i stg this was in my wip waaaay before that so when i saw the gif i think i wailed a bit bc he made it literally canon my friends!!!! hope u enjoy this guys im chwishfsdkfhl

Yoongi just wanted a god damn strawberry milkshake to release work stress. not to be grabbed by the arm by a stranger begging him to role play as some perfect boyfriend or another.

There are a variety of absurd experiences Min Yoongi has been unfortunate enough to cross within his current lifetime.

Thinking back, there was that time Yoongi picked up the phone to his childhood best friend Kim Namjoon, who thought he was being robbed by foreigners on the side of the street at one in the afternoon, and frantically asked Yoongi to please come save him by the way its the sidewalk on 44th street bring a gun!

“What kind of fucking robbers let you make a phone call, dumbass?” Yoongi barked into the phone, pretty upset that his afternoon nap was interrupted by some nonsensical disturbance.

“Oh shit Yoongi, you’re probably right,” Namjoon exhales and stays on the phone with him though, as he tries to solve the mystery of the tourists who just wanted to let Namjoon know that he had dropped a couple bills. They were discreetly carrying knives because they were opening a wood carving stand a block over, Namjoon explained later. Yoongi was quite the unamused listener.

There was another time in his already awfully long life when Yoongi himself was found caught in the middle of a fight between a Minecraft gamer and a ballerina carrying a flower vase, but that was a long story where it finally ended with him being released from custody as soon as the police had determined his innocence.

Or that other glitch in his simulation of a life when he had to bring nine cats home with him after work. Yoongi never knew he had a cat allergy, but he learned it the hard way that night as he sneezed so hard for so long till he couldn’t hear anything out of his ears.

So when Yoongi is feeling something in the air tickle his nugget of a brain that he should skip his ritual milkshake tonight and head on home right away to avoid whatever this coming disturbance is, Yoongi does what Yoongi does best, and he ignores his intuition because who cares, what Yoongi wants is his McFreaking milkshake.

Everything goes smoothly. Yoongi successfully orders a milkshake at the bar. He successfully receives the right order. He successfully starts to drink the milkshake in the quiet serenity of two am on a Monday.

But then he fails to leave as soon as she comes in the door, the same girl who legitimately flings the entrance open like some wild animal and he is so horrified he can’t look away from this scene and makes the mistake of meeting your gaze.

The damage is done, however. He knows you’ve selected him as your prey among the barren tables save for one lady picking up fries togo and the waitress staring at you in fear.

“Lady, please get off me,” he groans, pulling your fingers off his biceps as if they’re blood hungry leeches. His arm is free for maybe a second before your fingers fly back, grip stronger than before and this time Yoongi really can’t do much with just the one tired, exhausted hand; the one that isn’t holding the milkshake glass.

He’s whispering a string of curses and damnations at One Week Ago Yoongi for slacking with working out. Or any of his past Yoongis, really. He rests his head on the tips of his fingers, weighing down on his elbow angled onto the table.

“You don’t understand,” you wheeze dramatically, eyes round with terror. Uh, hello? I don’t care enough to understand, Yoongi mentally comments. “My parents, they-“

Sure, you might’ve been exaggerating everything a little, but what’s a little show and extravagance when your damn life is on the line? A matter of life and death knows no tranquility.

He looks at you half lidded; boredom and ‘are you really still talking to me Ican’tbelievetheaudacity’ washing over his face doing a whole awful lot to create a grave aura around him. You can physically see the deathly ash gray energy come off him in waves like something from an anime.

At this point, Yoongi’s thinking he might just ditch you, make a run for it to never see your crazy ass again and the idea is so tempting but instead, he responds. He’s not too sure why, although it’s probably ‘cause he’s paid an awful lot for this deliciously overpriced milkshake that has yet to be completely consumed. But the fact of the matter is he does respond, even thought you’re clearly not in the right state of mind and he really should be telling you to go home.

“Listen, they’re not gunna care if your boyfriend’s a bum. It’s your life anyways, why would they care?” Yoongi notices he’s got about another sip or two of his milkshake and then he can hightail it outta this joint and a certain spazz grabbing onto him.

You let go of his arm, thinking maybe you came off a little too strong and run your hands over your hair to pat down the flyaways contributing to the messy, crazed look.

“Now, I really absolutely must get going… miss,” Yoongi has finished his drink with a content sigh, a little disappointed that the experience was partially ruined with your improv tug of war, but content nonetheless. “Don’t worry, I’ll go ahead and take care of your water,” he reassures you dryly and stands up from the bar’s long legged chair, grabbing his expensive leather jacket. The best purchase he’s ever made in his life, he tends to overshare this fact to anything or anyone with two ears and legs, seeing as how he wears it everyday through wind, rain and the scorching heat.

Your eyes flash in one last lunge of desperation and your integrity flies out the window and disappears into the sky like a balloon. Floating away… peacefully, gone forever till all that’s left is your soulless body embarrassing yourself like this on a Monday at two am.

“Please,” you choke out one last time and sincerity taints your voice, everything you’ve depended on relying on this thin line of his consent.

There’s something about it that Yoongi finds himself hesitating for as his mind reels from the way your fingers grip the end of his jacket sleeve.

“I really, truly only need your help for a couple days. I-I’ll even pay you.”

Your eyes dart to the floor from his face with your final push, unable to face rejection one last time from help you so ridiculously need. His body halts, and with this, you take it as a sign for your fingers to relax and stop holding his like some child refusing to let go of their lollipop.

There’s one thing the weary should know, and it’s that one specific thing hits a chord with Min Yoongi that makes him who he is.

“Shit.”

Hana looks up at you in what seemed like concern and a bit of ‘damn, you live like this?’ tainting her face. You keep going back and forth between looking down at your most recent message on your phone and up to her face, still contorted in confusion unable to face the reality that is your life right now.

You’re not okay, this can’t be happening — everything you had worked up for up until this point, only to be destroyed by your parents’ wrath would be the endgame for your life. You need to lie down and forget this day even happened.

“Are you, okay?” She can’t help but emphasize the ‘okay’ with leaning her head in a tilt.

“Hana,” you squeak out, hands pressed against your eyes till you see stars. It’s late, you’re braincell-less from such last minute studying and you’re absolutely, completely fucked. And not in the nice way you normally would want to be.

“My parents are coming over and want to meet Jungkook.”

Hana lets out a strangled gurgle of terror from the back of her throat as she runs her hands through her dark hair and crawls over to you to peer at your phone screen. Now that she knows you’re fucked, you want to throw your phone out the window and run away. Or just throw yourself out the window. You stand up from your sitting position on the floor and take deep breaths counting to ten and back again.

“Oh my god,” she whispers. “You’re screwed.”

You twist your face and tell her, “Thank you so very much for the vote of confidence! I’ll just have to remember that while trying to explain everything to my parents.”

Hana’s pained smile emits an apologetic vibe as she continues to voice her thoughts. “Damn. Seriously though… what’re you gonna do, I mean. You still have… two days?”

“I don’t even know anymore,” you wail, falling back to the floor and hoping it’ll somehow open up, and take your body into the recesses of the earthy ground. “Is a day or two even enough time for him to come back from that trip?”

“Wait, you mean you would have your parents actually meet him?” Hana looks over at you incredulously. “Like, we’re talking about your boyfriend Jeon Jungkook, right?”

Backtrack – So, okay, yes maybe you had a few flaws. One of them was the fact that you were maybe a little too prideful. As in it’d physically pain you for your parents to know that your boyfriend was a bum who did absolutely nothing.

You had lied to your parents from the very beginning, pulling off the scam with a few explanations here and there saying, “Oh, no he’s too shy. He won’t take pictures!” when your parents wanted to see who this guy was. The occasional “He can’t meet up with us because he’s studying for his very big exam haha you know how these studious nerds are sorry!”

You wince from her tone, speaking as if he’s a demon sent from hell, and start collecting strands of your hair to comb through with worry.

“I mean, if he were here I could play him up as the guy I made him out to be,” you mused. “They don’t even know what he looks like. Probably think he’s afraid of cameras, poor baby.”

Hana looks slightly revolted from your gently verbalized “uwu” and snaps her fingers to garner your attention back onto the matter at hand.

“Wait- I,” you sat back up, all the blood rushing this way and that causing a weird feeling to consume you and you see black for a good three seconds before it dissipates. “Don’t judge me for what I’m about to say.”

“Done,” Hana nods. “I live with you and judge you enough already.”

You look at her unimpressed, lips curled into an unamused smile.

“How about I get a fake boyfriend? Like, right now?”

Hana doesn’t even know where to begin she laughs because she thinks you’re literally joking but then stops when she knows you’re not. “Uh, you do realize it is two am, Y/N. Where are you planning on going to look for an accomplice to role play your perfect boyfriend?”

“Honestly speaking, I’ll probably have to go to a bar or something.” Just saying this out loud was enough to acknowledge that you yourself were not thinking straight.

“You’re just going to walk into a bar and pick up the first dude you lay eyes on is what you’re implying…” Hana trails off, as she begins to re-evaluate the situation. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you sigh, brushing off your jeans as you stand up. “But this is my only option.”

“Well, you could always tell the truth to your mom and dad. You don’t have to be so full of it, Y/N. And listen, you’re 20 going on 21… how much longer are you going to hide this from your parents? You’re literally an adult.”

You frown and start walking out of the room, grabbing a jacket before you head outside and to the car. “I’m not full of it,” you defend your poor self. “I just need my parents to think I’m living my best life with the best boyfriend so they don’t rub in how they were right all this time or whatever overprotective shit they wanna pull on me.”

Hana holds up her hands as an act of surrendering and picks up your phone from the floor to hand it to you. Before it’s passed off however, a pinging sounds and she calls out the notification.

“Your mom texted you to say–“ Hana squints from how dark your phone’s lighting is. “They’re actually planning on starting to drive over tonight and should make it here by tomorrow evening?”

You start to panic, countless thoughts crashing the calm of your mind like stormy waves as you start to assess your problem at hand. You need to find a fake boyfriend, said fake boyfriend must learn what must be learned about you and said fake boyfriend will need to do a good enough job to keep your parents away forever and hopefully this will work because you don’t know what you’ll do the next time your parents come to “check up” on you because they think something’s fishy with this hypothetical fake boyfriend.

You let out what sounds like something between a sob and a groan as you snatch the phone from Hana’s hands and run out of the house, debating between driving to the nearest diner or running away from home.

See, the problem with your parents were that they were overbearing to the point that they even hated the fact you decided to attend college out of state. Mind them, it was only one state away, but it did absolutely nothing to soothe their constant fretting over your wellbeing and life. You were fed up with the relentlessly strict parental control and went crazy in college – finally dating, drinking and partying – although it was still at a good minimum.

To expose to your parents that you were dating an undecided major who spent the money he could scrounge around for on video games was a one-way ticket to hell so in order to save face and keep up the façade that you in fact were living your best life possible, you dreamt up of the littlest, white lie.

Your boyfriend was a perfect boy. One grade above you, one his way to graduating as a summa cum laude. He had an internship and was already guaranteed a job after college as a biomedical engineering major. You painted the perfect picture so you could present yourself in the best way possible to your parents.

The way your hard work was about to be shattered by the way so many coincidences piled on top of each other was a bit frustrating to say the least. You weren’t sure how you kept this a secret for so long and frankly, how your parents didn’t doubt you from the start but now they believed him to be a camera shy, facetime shy boy that only spent his time studying.

You didn’t even want to start on the numerous occasions you and Jungkook had ended a night fighting because of this ridiculous situation, that sure, you put yourselves in. You weren’t sure why you did this, but of course it wasn’t because you were too prideful.

Yoongi never lets money slip out of his hands. Call him frugal, call him thrifty, he doesn’t care. He just knows that if it’s worth the price, he’ll do it.

“Fine. I’ll do this. But I want cash and I want half of the end amount right now,” he knows he’s being demanding and it does look like you reek of eau de poor college student but with the request you’re making, he thinks it’s only fair.

You look teeny tiny and exhausted from the way you crumple your body on the seat next to him and it’s annoying how much work you’re going through because of a simple lie, but you can’t back out now. The way you’ve been explaining the situation to him is really making you sound a little crazy but hey, you’re only human and this isn’t the weirdest situation Yoongi has ever been in.

“How is this even going to work?” Yoongi looks at you as if you haven’t thought this far ahead. “Haven’t they seen his face? Is he even okay with this? Are you running a scam show? If this turns out to be a mess, I want no part of the repercussions.” He squints at you and crosses his arms, eyeing you suspiciously.

“I’m not stupid,” you roll your eyes and scrunch your face from irritation. “They’ve never seen pictures or anything of his face. I’m thankful my boyfriend doesn’t have social media, but I mean, even if he did my parents are technologically inept, anyways.”

“This is so extra, this is like, almost kind of idiotically stupid,” with a snort, Yoongi continues to doubt you. “I can’t believe I agreed to this. You better pay me the remaining amount as soon as this shit’s done. I’ve got things to do.”

“I’m sure you have so much stuff to do concerning your things,” you bite back and have to hold steady the urge to punch his weak looking noodle arm. Just keep thinking about how grateful you are that this sort of handsome spawn of the devil is agreeing to save your ass and livelihood.

He huffs and has the audacity to look offended, loosely crossing his arms across his chest. “Whatever, run this by me again.”

“Okay,” you sigh. You nearly teeter off the edge of the stool from sleepiness, an untouched glass of water in front of you and you watch the droplets trickle down the sides of the condensating cup. “My name is Y/N and yours is Jeon Jungkook. I’m 20 and you’re 21…”

You start to list off factual information and the details get a little blurry as they re-enter his mind because now it’s almost 3:20 in the morning and Yoongi just wanted a fucking milkshake but now it’s like he’s in college all over again, cramming all the notes and tidbits of information he can into his mind to purge it in five hours on the dreadful test. Even though Yoongi’s suffering, he starts noticing these things about you that’s definitely a little confusing to him and gets him a little worked up but in all the right ways.

He pays attention to the way when you laugh you move to cover your mouth with your hand, it’s kind of endearing. Sure, he’ll admit he thought you were pretty behind the air of desperation and super strange vibes you let out when you first marched into the door. Like, perhaps very pretty. He’s not sure but it might be something to do with the shape of your eyes and the pink of your lips. But the tendency you have to tilt your head when you smile is something that Yoongi starts noticing too and–

Yoongi catches himself thinking these thoughts that are so out of bounds and unnecessarily loud. It’s okay, he mentally argues. These are fake boyfriend feelings and it is late. I am exhausted, I don’t know what I am talking about.

And there you have it folks. Yoongi solves this problem of the Case of Weird Emotions with a simple answer. He’s just a really good fucking actor and can get into character so well that he starts thinking the way his character would. That’s all. And now Yoongi is mentally punching himself because he sounds really fucking weird. And fuck, he needs to stop cursing because he needs to be a well polished, dapper, perfect boyfriend.

He shudders and you see it, not because you’ve been looking at him but because he does it in a really obvious way that calls for attention in your peripheral vision.

“Are you alright?” You ask warily, eyeing him because what if he’s having a spasm attack holy shit?

Yoongi grunts with his absurdly deep voice and says, “Yeah, go on.”

“I wish we had more time,” you whine, rubbing your probably bloated face with sweater paws and something tickles Yoongi’s heart from the way you look and speak although he does his best to ignore it.

“It’s okay, I’ll remember this, I’m pretty sure… let’s just try and come up with a code word or something for me. Like, if I don’t know something I’ll say or do something and you’ll cover for me.”

You nod your head and for the first time that night it seems like you really smile and it’s cute, but not cute enough to swindle Min Yoongi’s heart. Of course not.

“Do you know how to crack your fingers?” You ask after a few moments of deep contemplation.

Yoongi suddenly looks small because he’s shoving his hands in between his thighs to cover them from the cold and you almost coo as he nods his head yes.

“Great,” you look away from his figure to calm yourself. “Just do that and then I’ll fill in. That’s the signal.”

“Does this mean we’re done now?” Yoongi’s voice has gotten raspy over the span of time you’ve spent with him because of how he spent most of it just listening to you and barely opened his mouth.

“I dunno,” you nervously gnaw on your lower lip, another habit Yoongi has picked up on fondly. Or not fondly, not at all… at least only fondly with fake boyfriend feelings. “I’m really not sure how this is going to turn out. Thankfully my friend is going to stay at a friend’s house to avoid more possible complications.”

“Alright then, give me a call tomorrow morning and I’ll get over to your place by two in the afternoon.”

You shake your head, “No, come earlier. We need as much time as possible to go over this. Remember? They’re arriving sometime that night.”

Yoongi groans from the revolting sentence he has just been forced to hear and he cries, “But I can’t! You’ve kept me up for this long evil lady, I should’ve been in bed falling asleep hours ago!”

“I’m sorry,” you feebly offer. “But I really need to nail in a lot more with you.”

Yoongi grumbles a wide variety of things under his breath comprised of but not limited to, “You’re lucky you’re cute”, “Fuck, I need a good ten hours of sleep to retain all this information, though” and “Damn it, I want my money”.

“Fine– 11 is the earliest I’ll be there. And are you sure you’re okay with giving me your freaking address? You’re going to let a stranger know where you live and you’re fine with it,” Yoongi lowers his tone towards the last bit in uncertainty.

“I’ll be fine because my roommate is a police force trainee who has armed me with a panic button along with pepper spray. You’ve been warned,” you wiggle your brows. “Plus you’re my fake boyfriend and you want the money. I’ll see you tomorrow at eleven.”

You both get up from your chairs, leaving cash tips and Yoongi’s expression changes into one of respect and newfound admiration.

“Duly noted,” he chuckles as he holds the door open for you to walk through, the brisk, autumnal air enveloping you.

Outside in the parking lot you head towards your car and see only a couple other vehicles, one of them being a motorcycle and you don’t think twice about it till Yoongi is waving goodbye to you as he walks in the direction of it.

“Wait,” you call out and Yoongi immediately halts, turning to face you with an expectant raise of his brow. “That’s your ride?” You point at the motorcycle.

He smirks and shoves his hands into his leather jacket as deep black as the galaxy and his hair swirls around from the wind above his twinkling eyes.

“Isn’t she beautiful?”

You groan, wondering if you have enough money to fork up however much it would cost to rent a car. You’re pretty sure you don’t, but if it’s for this boy, the best you could pick out on a quiet Monday morning at two, the cream of the crop, you’ve really got no other choice.

You just hope this cream of the crop has a license to drive a car.

The next morning you wake up at eight, sitting up in your plush bed as memories of last night flood your mind in horror. Restless sleep tightened your neck through the night, stress eating away at you and your ability to sleep peacefully.

You groan, peeking at your alarm clock and take a deep breath before you whip your hair out of your face and harden your resolve by sheer will. You pull of the covers and step out of your room, trailing for the kitchen in order to brew yourself some deeply needed coffee.

“Coffee first,” you mumble. Priorities.

Hana is sitting in the living room, a mug on the coffee table in front of her. She looks up as soon as she sees you enter from the short hallway.

“Mornin’ sunshine, there’s some coffee left for you,” she chippers cheerfully. “You got up pretty early. You’re meeting the man of the hour soon, right?”

“Meh, don’t remind me,” you grumble, shuffling into the kitchen and from the coffee machine, you see her kick her slippers off and finish the last of her homework. You pour the still hot liquid holy grail into your Totoro mug and start to mix in cream and sugar seeing as how you’re not as abhorrent as Hana with her love of black coffee.

“But damn, you were just a wreck last night,” Hana teases. “I can’t believe you really got someone to do something this crazy for a girl they just met.”

“It was the money,” you point out, sipping the first few tastes of coffee. It needs a bit more sugar. “I’m so fucken exhausted! Listen, I don’t even have that kind of money to pay him.” You can hear your stash of hidden cash for emergencies underneath your drawer already crying for help. This could qualify as an emergency, you doubtfully suppose.

Hana is still recovering from the surprise of hearing your insane plan worked, even if she found out last night. You remember how you entered the house, satisfied with how quote on quote smoothly the ordeal went even if you were about to be $600 short on money and stressfully sleep deprived the next morning. Hana walked out of her room with sleepy eyes and a bit of bedhead to you getting ready for bed so early in the morning, although she gained a bit of consciousness after hearing how your plan had indeed, succeeded.

Now that it’s the morning and your adrenaline rush had bled away and you’re in a clearer state of mind, doubt starts to trickle in and you are wondering what in hell you were thinking in the first place. You shake the thoughts away and focus on the task at hand.

“I’ll be getting out of the house soon,” Hana comments, starting to pack up whatever textbooks and notes she’ll need for the next day or two.

“You’re the amazingest,” you gratefully smile at her and try to convey your upmost sincerity. As best you could, at least.

“Yes,” she agrees mindlessly. “I am, aren’t I? I am so amazing—so amazing that I am literally leaving the apartment that I share with you for you and the stranger to bond and learn how to role play as lovers. It sounds crazy, I know, but here we are.”

Your smile fades away as you look at her in playful disbelief. “Go to your room, pack your granny underwear and your granny clothes, and leave this household!”

Hana scrunches her nose in distaste, “They’re not granny clothes! They’re retro! And thongs or whatever strip of fabric you claim are underwear are so uncomfortable, literally leavemealonegoodnightDevil!”

You laugh as she prances to her room to stuff her duffle bag full of clothes she’ll need in order to survive for the time she’s gone and you glance at the clock to see it read 8:30, and you go off to your room to get ready for the very. Incredibly. Extremely, long day ahead.

It is at ten that you have finished cleaning up your room, taken a quick shower and waved off Hana out of the home you two share. You walk back inside after seeing her depart safely promising to text you when she arrives, even though it’s the daytime and she’s just a good ten feet away, you never know what could happen. Even if she’s almost a police officer.

Which, speaking of, she has reminded you countlessly about, telling you to pass on the message that she will personally come to fuck him up if anything happens to you. You appease her with saying you will, but you sure as hell don’t plan on doing so.

Closing the door, you sigh deeply and it leaves you a little lightheaded as you lean your back against the door.

“Oh, shit.”

It hits you then that this is really happening. Like, your idiotic plan your brain thought up of that you thought was foolproof was really happening. There were so many holes that could expose you in a second and the thought of you being ousted in front of your parents tugged at your pride riddled mind.

The anxiety twitches your fingers as you pull up your phone and it leaves you staring at his message from last night.

yoongi: see u at 10:30

You forget he suddenly promised an earlier time at the last minute and you reckon you’ve got yourself about twenty or so minutes for him to show up at your door. It’s enough time for you to beat your face with makeup and put on some presentable clothes.

At 10:30 sharp he arrives at the door and it catches you by surprise because he doesn’t seem to be an advocate for timeliness. You tug down at your cropped sweater one last time before you open the door to see Yoongi in all his slightly bloated, freshly showered glory.

He looks a bit nervous, seeing as how he kept worrying over this very situation he should never have gotten himself into over the night not to mention what if you sent him the wrong address. Yoongi’s eyes flit from your face to the room behind you but he manages to keep his jittery

“Hey,” you sigh in relief. “Thank goodness you’re here. And thanks for coming so early.”

Yoongi loses a bit of the nervousness in his system and seems a bit more relaxed than he was when you first met him, probably because he’s gotten a better grip of his surroundings than last night, when he was completely hit with a curveball. In the face. At 500 miles per hour. In the form of you. HIs face loses the tension in the muscles and his lips take on a nonchalant smile. You also notice he’s wearing the same leather jacket as last night and you wonder if he has anything else available to wear.

“No worries,” he says in that gruff voice of his but he clears his throat quickly and yeah, you notice he’s still pretty high strung. This whole tribulation is probably a first for him too.

“Come on in,” you gesture inside, and make space for him to make through. Not that he needed much anyways being the tiny man he is.

“Alright,” he mutters, stepping into the apartment and slipping off his shoes. He doesn’t really pay attention to the apartment anymore but rather your outfit. You wearing sweatpants that still hug your legs and figure looks really good with the bit of skin exposed under the hem of your cropped Adidas sweater and Oh my God shut up, he scolds his train of thought.

It’s just that psychology of attraction at first sight, or whatever. Sure, it’s not his first time meeting you, sure, but you two have only recently met. Yoongi is certain he is a man of strong will. He would never let himself start feelings these things for someone who is already in a relationship.

He tears his gaze away from you before you can notice his burning stare and starts to run his eyes over the layout.

“Well,” you laugh strangely, trying to cover your skittishness. “This is where I live. I guess we can run over what we talked about last night over there on the couch.”

You point at the black sofa and Yoongi nods, walking over to sit down stiffly.

“Did you want something to drink?” You ask, noticing the way he stays pretty quiet. This won’t do. Your fake boyfriend is a great conversationalist.

“No, I’m fine, let’s just go over what we have to. I don’t wanna mess up…” Yoongi trails off and a hint of concern tinges his voice as you smile.

“Sounds good,” you agree.

“Okay, first things first,” you start reciting the basics as you are sat next to him. Yoongi does a really good job of staying on task at first, he swears. He’s listening intently but all of a sudden he’s thinking about how sweet and pretty your voice is and next thing he knows he’s thinking about how hard it is to just even meet your gaze, because your eyes are just such a wonderful outlet of all your emotions it’s really hard to meet them and not just go on and dive into the pool that is you and then—

“We might have to gel your hair back,” you muse softly and Yoongi is shaken out of his schoolboy crush-like trance.

“Fuck no. No,” Yoongi is firm with his decision, holding his hand out to emphasize his stance. “The forehead stays covered.”

You can’t help but let out a laugh as you cover your mouth with your hand and say, “Fine.”

Yoongi notices once again how you have a habit of doing that when laughing and he hates how it’s pretty adorable.

“How did you get here, anyways?” You ask suddenly. “Not with your bike, I hope…?”

Yoongi grins at you and you notice that he’s one of those gummy grinners and it does a little something to you but you avoid it at all costs and swallow it down.

“I Ubered here,” he said simply. “I figured I could say my car’s in the shop if your parents ask.”

You widen your eyes and nod in approval. “Brilliant! That’s really good Yoongi, thank God I don’t have to pay for a rent a car.”

“Speaking of payment,” Yoongi is reminded of your debt to him at the passing mention of money but is glowing from your praise. “Need I say more? Don’t worry about the Uber fee, I won’t be holding those against you, call it service.”

“How kind of you,” you grimace, hearing the cries of your emergency money once more, as you tell him to stay put. “I’ll be right back with half of it.”

When you count out 300 and carefully tuck the rest away, you turn around to walk out only to see Yoongi peering in your door, arms crossed and looking quite interested.

You jump at the sudden intrusion-like non-intrusion and scowl, asking, “What are you doing here? You scared me shitless and you’re very lucky I didn’t shriek.”

He shrugged, tousling his dark hair from his eyes and replied, “If I’m gonna be your fake boyfriend, I should know what your room looks like. As your fake boyfriend, of course.”

You groan and tell him, “Get a good, quick look around, because here’s your money and now we’re leaving.” You slap the wad of cash onto his unsuspecting palm and push his shoulders out the door.

“I know you kind of know me because of all the information I might’ve been burning into your mind the past 24 hours about yours truly, but I barely know a thing about you and we’re really acquaintences at best, still.”

Yoongi lets you lead him out of the hall into the living room and with a quick look at your lockscreen, you see that it’s still only 11:14. He stuffs the money in the back pocket of his jeans, which fit him quite nicely around the thigh area, if you may say so yourself.

“Fine,” he mutters and you barely catch it with your already dull hearing.

“What’s fine?” You ask, sitting down on the sofa as he takes a seat as well.

“I said, fine. What do you wanna know about me?” He asks, finding interest in the boring coffee table.

“Uh,” you trail off, unprepared for this kind of a question. “Wait, do I want to know more about you? I should be thinking of you as my boyfriend Jungkook, putting history and information behind you would make it too easy for me to differentiate…”

Yoongi rolls his eyes with a condescending sigh that you somehow know isn’t very genuine. “Just ask three things about me, so we’re not complete strangers,” he offers a compromising deal.

You let it sit with you for a second. If you made a slip up would you be able to recover? It was already hard enough, calling him Yoongi—already so hard enough that it was weird to remind yourself you’d have to be calling him Jungkook in a few hours. Eh, screw it.

“Where do you work?” You ask your first question tentatively.

“I work as a part time server for now,” he replies as if it’s something of a bother. “At the barbecue place downtown.” You have a brief idea of where it is, having passed by it a few times while you were in the vicinity.

“Alright,” you huffed. “What’s your other part time?”

Yoongi looks a bit confused at first with the way you worded it, but he catches on quickly seeing as how he’s got a fast train of thought.

“Oh, yeah. You remember my bike? I wanna go into autotech service. Or something like that, like engineering,” he vocalizes his thoughts and grows a bit red.

“That’s really awesome,” you smile at him and he grows comforted by the idea of you approving his passion. Although he shouldn’t be so—

“Do you have a girlfriend?” This question takes you back by surprise too, and you swear it was a slip of your tongue.

“I—“ Yoongi wasn’t ready, didn’t even think you were one bit interested in his love life but he answers directly. “No.”

For some reason you like hearing that answer, something like satisfaction burns at your tongue and heart and you don’t understand why when you have a perfectly cute boyfriend named Jeon Jungkook (the real one) you can call yours.

“Sorry, I didn’t know where that came from,” you giggle nervously.

Yoongi brushes it off and breathes evenly. He’s not sure why he’s worked up uncomfortably like this and he wants to skip to the part where this is all over and he goes back to moping around, living out his normal, daily routine.

We are acquaintances, he keeps reminding himself.

You two end up talking about yourselves a bit more, because pictures of your dog reminds him of his dog and from there the conversation flows a little too perfectly because now you’re intrigued by the mystery that is Min Yoongi and you want to know more and everything about him. This goes on for the next six hours and it’s filled with so much talking and laughing and you’ve even cooked up lunch because oh my goodness you found ingredients to make pancakes.

Then dawn rolls around as if it’s only been a mere thirty minutes and to be honest, it feels likes you know Min Yoongi more than your own boyfriend Jeon Jungkook.

You shake that last thought off, startled from the way you so abruptly stated that. Internally, of course.

Yoongi’s barely opened his mouth to ask you another question when-

The doorbell rings and it echoes throughout the inside of your home and holy shit it feels so intimidating and loud and Yoongi just isn’t ready, but can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now if he’s this scared of what’s to come.

You glance at him almost as if you’re seeking refuge in someone’s comfort so he grits his teeth a bit because between the two of you, he realizes he’s got to stay the rock.

Yoongi narrows his eyes until they resemble somewhat to a feline’s. He’s the rock.

And not just in the Dwayne Johnson sort of way.

oooooookay oh my goodness this is unedited but i wanted it off my shoulders before i got to work so here this is please enjoy but send me feedback or anything you'd like through my inbox thanks!!!

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tayegi · 7 years

Text

Perception, Misconceptions Pt. 2 (m)

Word Count: 6,420

Dinner with Hoseok is always a delightful affair—something that you absolutely look forward to every week. You see him nearly every day, for lunch dates at the cafeteria, coffee trips, and study sessions at the library. But those are all hurried hangouts that the two of you sneak in between classes. Nothing beats having Hoseok's undivided attention at dinner after a long, exhausting week of school.

He's graduating next semester, and is constantly stressed with graduation plans and his job hunt. You're anxious as well, worrying about the status of your relationship. Will he stay in the same town after graduation? Or will he leave for better opportunities? You don't want to hold him back if he does… But would he be willing to wait for you, and keep your relationship long distance until you graduate as well? These thoughts keep you up at night, but you never voice them. You can't bear the idea of him breaking things off just to spare you the pain. Maybe things won't work out. Maybe he'll want to move to a different city and date prettier, more sophisticated girls. But even if it doesn't work out, you'll hang on to any time you have left with him.

And in this subdued, hole-in-the-wall ramen joint that Hoseok found based on word of mouth, you're free to take it all in and enjoy his presence to your heart's content. He looks so adorable rambling about his dance showcase that his excitement is contagious and you find yourself smiling along with him.

When the night finally ends, you're in a wonderful mood. You have this tendency of overthinking and succumbing to your anxious thoughts when alone, but being around Hoseok's positive energy breaks you out of this cycle. For once, you're not thinking about school or the future of your relationship. For once, you can just relax and revel in his mere presence.

But unfortunately, the night has to end. You resist the urge to drag your feet when you finish dinner and Hoseok walks you back to your apartment. Dread settled like a stone in the pit of your stomach and you're so tempted to throw a fit like a child and demand that he never leaves you. But Hoseok's grip is tight around your own as he leads you back home, unaware of how unwilling you are to follow.

Finally, the two of you reach your front door and Hoseok spins you around to face him, "What are your plans for the rest of the evening?" he asks as he affectionately cups your face in his hands.

You fawn over the attention, but the lovely gesture is ruined by the way he begins to squish your cheeks like you're a small child, "Probably just studying," you say, your voice slightly muffled by his hands.

"Don't stay up too late, jagi," he says with a pinch to your cheek.

"Do you want to study with me, sunbae?" you ask, though you already know his answer.

"It's pretty late," he says with a caress of your neck, "And you have to be up early in the morning."

You know better than to invite him to sleep over again, "Okay," you say in a dejected voice, "When will I see you again?"

"How about on Friday? I have an hour break before dance practice. We can grab coffee or something."

"Ah, so short?" you ask, trying your best not to let your disappointment show, but he picks up on it anyways.

"Don't be upset, jagi," he says, cutely cocking his head to the side to try to cheer you up, "We can hang out this weekend! The dance team is having a kickback this weekend. Wanna come?"

"Sure," you say at once, jumping at the opportunity of any time with him, even if you're not alone like you would've hoped. Neither of you are any good at drinking, but it's a good way to meet his friends and understand him better.

Hoseok smiles fondly at you as he continues to pet your hair and face like you're a small child. You feel a bit dejected, and are busy trying to remember if there's any leftover ice cream in the freezer to comfort yourself with, when he suddenly leans in to peck your lips. It's fleeting and lasts only half a second so when you finally process it, he's already gone.

You stare up at him with wide eyes, bitter and upset with yourself for zoning out during that rare, precious display of affection. But surprisingly, his eyes catch onto the pout on your lips, and he swoops down again.

This time it's an actual kiss—a firm press of his lips to yours that has your stomach twisting in the most pleasant, but utterly unsatisfying way. You wish you had the guts to taste him the way he did you just a few nights ago. You wish you weren't such a scared little virgin, so that you could grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him into your bedroom the way the heat in your core screams at you to.

Instead, you can only stare at his lips, hoping against hope that he'll kiss you again. But Hoseok is too much of a gentleman to kiss you a third time and he steps away from you with a smile, "See you on Friday then, ___?"

You hesitantly smile back, "Yes, sunbae."

Hoseok is proud of himself as slowly makes his way back to his car. You'd been wearing that sinfully tight dress all night, and he managed to keep his eyes on your face the entire time… Well, when you were watching, of course. When your attention was gone for even a second, his eyes were firmly on your legs or the swell of your cleavage, hungrily eating you up without a concern.

When you walked away from the table to use the restroom, oblivious to the way your hips swung in that short skirt, it took everything in his power to keep from popping a boner in public. He feels sorry to his dance teacher, Sungdeuk, for using the image of him in a swimsuit that way, but at least it willed away his arousal.

Walking you home is a bit more challenging. Especially when you invite him into your apartment… Your blessedly empty apartment… with your roommate out for the night… and your cozy bed just big enough for two…

When he's feeling particularly masochistic, Hoseok imagines how you would react if he actually made a move. What would you do if he drew out your chaste kisses? Would you moan again like last Saturday night? What if he slipped a hand up your skirt? Or tried to touch that lovely chest of yours? Would you let him if he asked you nicely? Or would you break up with him in a heartbeat and never let him around you again?

Although illogical, Hoseok can't help but fear that it'd be the latter. And he feels so guilty about these nasty thoughts that overcome his mind, though it makes no sense. It's the twenty-first century and most people would encourage these thoughts about a girlfriend of six months as healthy and reasonable. But for some reason, he can't help but feel like a filthy dog. He doesn't deserve you. He never will, and he has no right to be thinking of you in such a way.

So when he kisses you, not once, but twice, he's proud of himself. He'd prefer it if he managed to resist kissing you at all, but it's better than ripping your dress off and tackling you to the ground—an image that had consumed him all evening. This will take some effort. But at least he's not masturbating in the car outside of your house like some kind of pervert… Baby steps.

But then the kickback comes around and everything goes to hell.

"Tell me the truth: is this dress slutty?" you ask your roommate as you model your brand-new purchase.

"Yes," Jiwon instantly says, eyes bulging in surprise as she takes in her appearance, "What the hell's gotten into you?"

You simply beam at your appearance in the mirror and touch up your eyeliner, "Do you think sunbae will like this?"

"I don't know. I still think he's gay," she grumbles in response.

Jiwon is the only person on earth who knows about your relational struggles with Hoseok… Though sometimes you regret telling her in the first place, "Stop it," you shoot her a glare, "You only say that because you think he's pretty."

"No, that's not it. I think he's gay because the two of you have been dating for an entire damn semester and haven't even kissed."

"We've kissed!" you pipe up, indignant.

"Yeah, how many times?"

"Fourteen," you exclaim at once, "Well… Only on nine different occasions, but he kissed me twice the last three times, so…"

"Wait… So the two of you have only kissed nine times over the past twenty-five weeks?!"

You freeze as her words sink in, "…Maybe?"

Jiwon can't help but laugh in surprise, "Oh my god… You're such a prude!"

"No, I'm not!" you protest, "You know I'm not! If sunbae walked in here right now and wanted to have sex, my panties would be across the room. You know how attracted to him I am, Jiwon. I want him so badly," you practically whine.

"Gross," she mildly comments, "I've never heard a girlfriend of a committed relationship talk like this before… If you want him so badly, why don't you just go for it?"

"I can't!" you groan, "What if he thinks I'm an easy slut? I don't want to scare him away!"

"Sweetheart, Jung Hoseok is a grown ass man living in the twenty-first century. Do you really think he would have such backwards, misogynistic thoughts?"

"No," you admit in a small voice, "I know that you're right… But I can't help but feel scared."

"Babe, let's say it turned out that he was disapproving of your sexual desires… Would you want to date such a man?"

"No," you sigh, "I would break up with him."

"Exactly."

"I know, I know. You're right. My thinking is logical at all. These are just deep-rooted insecurities, I know. It's what my therapist would tell me… But I can't help the fact that this is how my brain is wired… Fuck this society I was raised in."

"Girl, the change has to begin with you. You can't keep avoiding the situation and hoping it'll resolve itself."

"Why not?" you childishly demand, "We're making progress, aren't we? I'm sure we'll get there eventually."

"When? On your wedding night?" She snickers, "Come on. You know that your behavior is just reinforcing his hesitance."

"How so?" you ask in curiosity.

"But acting so shy and not voicing your desires, he probably takes it as a sign that you're not ready for anything more. He's just trying to be respectful and keep you comfortable, like a real gentleman… That, or he's gay."

Your face crumples at her words, "What if he actually is gay?!"

"That would make Min Yoongi very happy," Jiwon laughs, "But didn't you say that he's had a few girlfriends in the past?"

"Yeah, and he's admitted that he's not a virgin… Why would he have sex with those girls and not me?" you cry out in despair, "What do they have that I don't?!"

"The balls to go for what they want," Jiwon rudely answers.

You whirl around to glare at her, "Well, I'm going to change that now! Look at this dress! There's no way he wouldn't be into it if he really is straight… right?"

"I don't know, ___. If he really is into women (and it's still hard to tell right now), don't you think you're being too mean? Parading around like that without letting him touch it?"

"He's more than welcome to touch it!" you practically shout as you pull at your own hair, "I would sacrifice myself to the gods for him to touch it!"

"Ooh, kinky," she lightly comments, "Why don't you just ask him then? It might be less painful than a human sacrifice."

"I can't," you groan, "What if he doesn't like it? What if he thinks I'm gross?"

"Then you shouldn't be with a man who finds you unattractive," she says, glancing at her watch in boredom, "God, you straight people are so annoying. Can't you just suck his dick already and call it a day?"

You dramatically fling yourself on your bed with a squeal at the very thought, "I would love that!" You half-scream, "I want to do that so badly! So, so, so badly! All I ever want to do is just—"

The ringing of the doorbell shuts you up. You freeze, mid-exclamation, to stare at Jiwon with wide eyes. "Shit, he's early!"

Your annoying roommate plays dumb, "What is that, ___?" She yells out in a too-loud voice, "You want to do what to Ho—"

You slap a hand over her mouth before she can finish, "Coming, sunbae!" You call out in a sweet voice. Then, shooting your roommate one last death look, you grab your heels and skip out the door.

"Hey, jagi," Hoseok happily greets you when you swing open the door, "Are you— oh…." His voice trails off when he finally takes in your appearance. His eyes scan you from head to toe before widening dramatically, "Oh."

You instantly feel self-conscious under his scrutiny, "Is this too much?"

He hastily shakes his head, "No, not at all. You look beautiful, ___."

He's said these exact words to you a thousand times, but they never fail to make you feel giddy, "Thank you, sunbae. You do too."

He flashes you a crooked smile, "I think that's the first time anyone has said that to me… But I appreciate it, jagi."

You beam stupidly at him, struck dumb by his bright presence.

"Are you ready to go?" he asks, interrupting your silent adoration.

You eagerly nod, "Yes, sunbae!"

The party is still in its early stages when the two of you arrive, and already the apartment is filled with a significant amount of people. They're seniors, like Hoseok, and all majoring in performing arts. Unlike your usual group of subdued painter friends, these people are all vibrant and bold, charismatic in a way that leaves you breathless.

Of course, Hoseok's friends would be just as cool as him. For a moment, you feel like an imposter in your brand-new dress, like a sheep in wolf's clothing.

And then Hoseok leads you into the kitchen for a drink where you nearly run smack-dab into Lisa.

"Whoa," Hoseok grabs onto Lisa's slender arm before she can fall, "Are you okay?"

"Ah, Hobi, you made it!" She exclaims, excitedly throwing her arms around his neck. Surprised by the action, he reflexively hugs her back, dropping your hand in the process.

You let your arm fall back to your side and try not to seethe at the sight of their easy skinship. "Oh, Lisa. It's nice to see you again."

She slowly removes her face from where it's buried in your boyfriend's neck, as though noticing you for the first time, "___, right? How unexpected seeing you here."

You're unsure what she means by this, but you try not to let it get to you, "Why's that?" You ask with a friendly smile. If this girl is Hoseok's dance partner, then you should really try your best playing nice with her.

"Oh I don't know," she drawls, raking her eyes up and down your figure with what you hope isn't disdain, "This just doesn't seem to be your… scene…"

You force yourself to bite back your annoyance and fake a laugh, "It's fun to let loose sometimes," you say, "There's a lot you don't know about me, Lisa."

She smiles tightly back at you, "True… Well, anyways, Hobi, come have a drink with me!"

"Ah, I really shouldn't be drinking so much," he half-heartedly protests, even as he allows her to drag him into the room, "I'm driving."

"You can just leave your car here and sleep over again," she lightly says as she peruses the mass of bottles on the counter.

Again…? That single word has your eyebrows shooting into your hairline. You've been dating Hoseok for over six months, and he has only slept over at your place once, and yet he's done so with a supposedly platonic female friend? What is going on here?

You hate jealousy. It's the ugliest of emotions. But you can't help the unease that wells in your throat. You swallow loudly and follow after them. "What are you drinking, sunbae?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure," Hoseok says as he squints at the murky brown liquid in his glass, "Rum, I think? Maybe a tequila mix of some sort?"

"Can I have one?"

Both Hoseok and Lisa look up in surprise at your question. "Ah, jagi, this is really strong," Hoseok warns you, "But I can make you something better."

"No, it's okay," you say, eyeing Lisa's glass. She's drinking the same concoction, and yet Hoseok isn't babying her. You hate the feeling of sticking out like a sore thumb at the party, "I want this one." You say, pulling his glass from his hand.

The tall redhead begrudging pours your boyfriend a new one, "Well, bottom's up, guys."

"Cheers," Hoseok says, happily clinking his glass against both of yours.

You've had nothing more than a few beers before in your life, let alone such hard liquor. But you refuse to embarrass yourself in front of everyone, and bravely raise the glass to your lips to take a deep drink. The toxicity of the foul liquid hits you at once, like acid pouring down your throat. Your eyes water at once and your first instinct is to spit it back out.

But then you meet the eyes of your boyfriend cautiously watching you over the rim of his own glass. Summoning strength you didn't realize you possessed, you hastily swallow, and ignoring the burn of your throat, you flash him a wide smile, "Oh it's good!"

"Really?" Hoseok warily asks, "It's really strong. I think Lisa must've put two or three shots in here."

"No, it's really good," you say with an award-winning smile, "You should have some more, sunbae."

"Nah, one of us should really stay sober tonight," he says with a playful pinch to your cheek.

You feebly swat his hand away, "We can just call an uber or something," you say, "Come on, sunbae. I really want you to cut loose and have some fun with me tonight."

Something shifts in his dark eyes at your words, "Okay," he concedes.

Surprised by your easy victory, you happily salute him with your glass and take another brave gulp.

An hour later, a group of people have settled down in the living room, playing a drinking game while other the others dance in the other room. You and Hoseok are part of the group in the living room, crammed around the coffee table overflowing with drinks. Somehow, the two of you have managed to secure seats on the couch, and although Hoseok is squished against the armrest, it's better than sitting on the floor like the rest of them.

"Ok, Seokjin—truth or dare?" Hoseok asks with a grin when the bottle lands on the handsome actor boy on the other side of the room.

The dark-haired man's eyes narrow to slits, "Dare," he says, jutting his chin out in pride.

A smirk spreads across your boyfriend's face, "Excellent. I dare you to suck on Taehyung's toes for ten seconds."

"What?!" Seokjin exclaims in disgust, while everyone around the table bursts into laughter, "You can't be serious!"

"Hey, you made me do worse," Hoseok says, clearly still bitter about how the actor made him hump a pillow in front of everyone just a few minutes ago… You personally thought that it was a lovely show, but not apparently not everyone agreed with you. "Or… you can just wuss out and take a shot," he says with a snide grin.

Seokjin shoots him the dirtiest glare he can muster, "Oh, you would just love that, wouldn't you?" he growls under his breath, "Well, fuck that! Taehyung, take off your shoes."

"Ok!" The golden-haired boy chimes in delight, instantly kicking his gucci loafers across the room.

"You better fucking wash your feet," Seokjin snarls as he reaches over to grab the younger boy's foot.

"I showered this morning! … but then I had practice in the afternoon," Taehyung happily informs him.

"Oh god," Seokjin mumbles, "I think I'm gonna puke."

"Stop bitching and put it in your mouth already," Hoseok snickers, phone already out to record everything.

"You are a sick man," Taehyung cheerfully says as he wiggles his toes in front of Seokjin's face.

The dark-haired man takes a deep breath for courage, then leans in to capture Taehyung's toes in his mouth.

"Ewwww!" The entire room bursts out in disgust.

You are equal parts delighted and disturbed by the scene and shriek before playfully burying your face in Hoseok's arm. He chuckles and wraps an arm around your shoulders, "You should've just taken the shot and spared us all."

"No way!" Seokjin exclaims when he finally spits Taehyung's toes out of his mouth, "I'm not weak like you!" And with that, he runs to the bathroom to wipe off his tongue.

"Whoa, what did I miss?" Lisa asks in amusement, drink in hand as Seokjin nearly barrels her over in his haste for the bathroom.

"Nothing of importance," Taehyung giggles as he wiggles his sticky toes in the air.

"Hmm," she says as she surveys the room, "I want to play too. Hobi, will you scoot over?"

You look up to realize that she's now standing by the armrest of the couch, gently attempting to nudge your boyfriend to the side… There's already so little room on this couch, with you crammed between Hoseok and Taehyung. If Lisa sits at the corner seat, she'll practically be on his lap… He would probably have to stagger their sitting positions so that he's sitting directly behind her to allow her room… And that is not acceptable.

Sudden adrenaline combined with your lubricated inhibitions from one too many mixed drinks makes you bold. And before Hoseok can move to the side, you suddenly raise to your feet… then plop down on his lap. All three of you freeze.

"Lisa, you can sit in my seat," you say once you finally catch your voice again. Hoseok is as stiff as a statue underneath you and you're too embarrassed to move.

The gorgeous redhead considers you with narrowed, calculating eyes. Finally, she shrugs, "Nah, I'll just sit on the ground," she says, taking the spot that Seokjin just vacated.

You breathe out in relief. You don't know what's gotten into you. It's not like you to be so possessive, and you feel embarrassed beyond belief. You're just about to self-consciously climb out of Hoseok's lap, when Seokjin comes busting out of the bathroom, freshened up.

"Oh, sweet. You fuckers finally cleared a spot for me," and with that, he plops down right in the middle of the couch, unintentionally squishing you further against Hoseok.

There's a moment of tense silence as you hover on the very edge of Hoseok's knees, flustered and unsure what to do with yourself. Before you can make up a half-assed excuse and make a break for it, Hoseok unexpectedly grabs you around the middle and heaves you onto his lap in a more comfortable position.

"Nice of you to finally make it back," he grumbles at Seokjin, "It's your turn, man."

The two of you have rarely hugged, much less sat together in such an intimate position, and you're so excited that you hardly know what to do with yourself. Hoseok's arms feel so strong around you, his chest so hard and muscular that you feel like you could die of happiness, right then and there. If only the two of you were alone right now…

Seokjin childishly sticks his tongue out at Hoseok before reaching for the bottle, "I hope I get you so that I can make you eat shit."

Hoseok blows a raspberry right back, "Try me, bitch."

Seokjin's eyes narrow to slits. Then he's crouching by the table, eyes flickering between the table and your boyfriend, as though trying to calculate the angle.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Hoseok cries out, "No cheating!"

But it's too late and the film major has already spun the bottle with a precise twist of his hand. It spins around on the crowded coffee table exactly one time before it slows to a stop at Seokjin's immediate left, "Aha!" He crows in delight, "Hobi, truth or dare?"

"Huh? That looks like it's on ___," Taehyung pipes up in confusion, "Whacha talkin' bout?"

Both Hoseok and Seokjin are flustered by his statement, "No way, it's on me."

"Yeah, it's definitely pointed at him. Are you blind?"

The blonde boy scowls at the insult, "No, it's totally pointing at ___." And when the two men jump to argue, he holds up a hand to stop them, "Let's take a vote: everyone, raise your hand if you think it's pointing at ___."

At once, a dozen hands shoot up from all around the table, yours included. Hoseok and Seokjin are the only ones with their arms stubbornly glued to their sides, but even they can't protest this majority vote. "Fine," Seokjin grumbles in disappointment, "___, truth or dare?"

His voice is flat, and he clearly doesn't care about your response, but you're too excited to let it bother you. "Dare!" You exclaim at once, attempting to appear bold to impress your boyfriend and his friends.

"Ugh this is so boring," Seokjin mutters under his breath before catching himself, "Fine," he sighs, "I dunno. Go give Hobi a lap dance or some shit."

Your eyes pop open in surprise. This is clearly not a big deal in the minds of those around the table, judging by the way they barely blink at the dare, but it's uncharted territory for you. The idea of dancing on Hoseok like that is so deliciously scandalous that you feel saliva fill your mouth. You're not much of a dancer, but the thought of being able to touch him so intimately makes you so excited that you nearly bounce out of his lap to begin.

But before you can cheerfully ask for the aux cord to put on a suitable song, Hoseok suddenly reaches around you to grab a shot of vodka off the table and knock it back in one fell swoop. You're sitting so close to him that you can feel the way his chest expands from the movement. Then, the empty glass is spinning on the table as you finally process what just happened.

"Boo, you whimped out," Jin scoffs with distaste.

But Hoseok simply laughs, "I'm not gonna let you perverts stare at my girlfriend like that," he says as he presses a kiss to the top of your head, "You must be dreaming."

"You can't protect her this entire game," a quiet voice pipes up from the table.

All of you look up to find Lisa staring straight at you. But Hoseok simply grins, "Watch me try."

And try, he did.

Less than an hour later, and Hoseok is another four shots down. He's saved you from stripping—multiple times, kissing Jihyo, an innocent dancer who mistakenly joins the game late, and eating Seokjin's toe hair. You're only really grateful for the last one, but can't help but feel bitter that he's prevented you from doing the other dares.

You're a full-grown adult, and you can handle yourself. Besides, if you were truly uncomfortable with any of those dares, you could have opted out by taking the shot yourself. Logically, you realize that Hoseok is just trying to be nice. But you can't help but feel like he's babying you.

Fortunately, the game stalls after a few more rounds, and the group breaks up to engage in more exciting activities. Most of the people, including Seokjin and Taehyung, who had been sharing the couch with you, leave to go dance in the other room, and only a few remain in the living room. They begin some sort of card game that seems way too complex for your alcohol-slowed mind, so naturally, the two of you reject their invitation to join and remain curled up on the couch, content to just cuddle. And after a few minutes, you quickly realize how much better this is than completing any of those risqué dares from earlier, and all your disappointment washes away at once.

The couch is completely empty except for where you and Hoseok sit, curled up on each other in the very corner. And he's drunker than you've ever seen him.

Maybe that's why his inhibitions are so low. Maybe that's why he can't stop trailing open-mouthed kisses up and down your neck. And maybe that's why he hasn't noticed the way his erection digs into your thigh, branding its shape into your tender skin.

You're in heaven right now, as you lean back and push your hair off your neck to allow him better access. This is all you've ever dreamt about and better. Last week, you were losing your mind over a hint of tongue, and this week, Hoseok is devouring you alive, sucking red marks against your sensitive skin and nipping at you like you're a seven-course meal and he hasn't eaten in three days.

For the past six months, you've wondered whether this whole affair was just one big, fat lie. Whether he's been dating you just for convenience's sake, without returning a hint of the attraction you felt for him. The complete lack of physical affection from someone who was supposed to be your boyfriend had really messed with your mind in the last few months. It had was so bad that you had started to believe your roommate's claims that he was gay.

But now, you are utterly certain that Hoseok is not gay, beyond a shadow of doubt. There is no way a gay man would anxiously knead his hands over the curve of your waist, feeling up your body through your tight dress and moaning his satisfaction against the crook of your neck. There is no way he would get hard so quickly just from the taste of your skin. Hoseok is undoubtedly attracted to you. And this belated realization finally erases all your pent-up worries and insecurities.

You feel so elated that you could sing. You've never felt a man's erection before, but there is nothing else that hard length in his pants can be. He clearly wants you, and there is nothing you'd rather do than spin around in your seat and reciprocate his touches. His kisses are so hot against your neck that you salivate at the thought of meeting his mouth with yours and cramming your tongue down his throat. Maybe you'd wrap your legs around his waist and grind back against him. That hardness resting against your thigh is calling your name, and your fingers twitch with the barely repressed desire to touch it… Would he moan at the contact, like he is right now? Or would he… scream?

At that thought, arousal floods your underwear, making you panic. You quickly cross your legs together, terrified that you might drip past the short hem of your skirt, embarrassing yourself in front of everyone. Oh god. Why were you guys still at this party? You're too self-conscious to return his advances in a room full of people like this, and now you might accidentally reveal your humiliating physical reaction to your boyfriend.

"Sunbae!" you anxiously whisper at him, grabbing at his hand when it begins to venture up your legs. If the two of you were alone, you'd gladly let him continue. Hell, you'd be the first to shove his hand under your skirt. But the fact that everyone can see what the two of you are doing doesn't leave your mind. And you don't want him to touch you for the first time in front of an audience.

Hoseok pauses at your interruption and huffs into your hair, "Baby, please."

You pause for a moment. The sound he emits almost sounds like a whine… But your dignified gentleman of a boyfriend would never whine like this… right? More arousal gushes from your core and you wouldn't be surprised if you soaked through your underwear completely. You press your thighs together tighter and nervously pull his hand far away from your source of embarrassment, "Sunbae, maybe we should go home…"

There's a moment of hesitation from him, where you're simultaneously fearful and hopeful that he might plead with you again. But instead, he sighs deeply, "Okay… Let's do that," he agrees, but you can hear the reluctance etched into every syllable.

You resist the urge to smile as you carefully climb out of his lap, "I'll call a cab."

And as a result, neither of you notice Lisa’s angry glare drilling holes on the back of your head as the two of you make your escape.

It's a battle to make your inebriated boyfriend behave in the backseat of the taxi when all he wants to do is mark up your entire neck with hickies. But when you promise to let him kiss you all he wants as soon as the two of you get home, he agrees to keep his hands to himself, but flashes you pitiful glances the entire ride back.

As soon as the taxi stops in front of Hoseok's apartment, he nearly rips your arm out of its socket in his haste dragging you out of the car. And then, there's a momentary struggle against the front door of his apartment as he gives up on unlocking the door to kiss you in the middle of the hallway.

He's never kissed you like this before, and for a moment, you forget all else. Normally, his kisses are methodical and controlled. He only lets his lips dryly brush yours for a moment, before he pulls back. Now, he is completely disinhibited, kissing you with reckless abandon like you've never experienced before.

It's all that you've ever wanted and more. You gladly allow him to have his way with you, parting your lips and molding to his touch like you're made of clay and he's a sculptor. You would have happily made out with him until the end of time, but at that moment Hoseok pulls back for a breath and leans his forehead against yours.

"Oh god," he chuckles, "I'm so fucking drunk right now." And with that, he glues his lips back to yours, unwilling to part for even a second.

You savor the kisses for a moment, so enthralled by his passion that you can't think of anything else. But then, the meaning behind his words slowly sinks under your skin…

He's drunk right now. Really, really drunk. He's not thinking straight. And you're taking advantage of his vulnerable position by touching him the way he would never allow you to if sober. This instantly knocks you back to your senses, and you break from the kiss at once, horrified by your actions.

"___," the dark-haired man whines your name, "Come on."

But you stubbornly twist your head to the side when he tries to kiss you again, "Let's go inside, sunbae," you gently persuade him as you reach into his pocket for the keys. When he's busy kissing your jaw instead, you quickly unlock the door and drag him in.

As soon as you lock the door behind you, Hoseok attempts to kiss you again. This time, you're able to ward him off better, and duck under his arm before running for his room, "Sunbae, you should sleep now."

But he childishly stomps his feet in protest, "I don't wanna!" he slurs, clearly still suffering from the after effects of the potent alcohol, "I wanna make out more! Come on, jagi… Please?"

Your heart stammers at his words, and you're sorely tempted to concede, love blossoming in your chest from his cute display of aegyo. But guilt overwhelms all else as you remember how sober you are in comparison to him, and you firmly shake your head, "No, sunbae. Let's get you in bed."

"B-bed?" he stutters in surprise. This piques his interest and he tears past you towards the bedroom, nearly plowing you over, "Yeah! Let's go!"

You can't help but laugh in surprise as he throws himself on the bed and presses himself up against the headboards to watch you with eager eyes, "Come here, ___," he says, holding out his arms for you, "Whatcha waiting for?"

He's so adorable that you're sorely tempted. You've never seen this side to your boyfriend before, and there's nothing you'd rather do than take him up on his offer and play with him longer. Instead, you grab the blankets and tuck him in with a sigh, "In the morning," you promise him.

"No," he whines, trying to break free from the prison of blankets that binds his limbs to the bed, "___, come onnn."

You have a very limited window of escape, so you quickly snatch up your purse and beeline for the front door before he can escape from his blanket restraints and change your mind, "Sorry, sunbae, see you tomorrow!" you call out as you sprint for the door.

You can hear his muffled shouts of protest, but by then, you've already made your way out the front door and down the hallway. It's not until you've exited his building, waiting on the curb for your cab to pick you up, that you can finally breathe a sigh in relief. And then you promptly burst into laughter.

What a strange, but delightful turn of events! After six whole months of dating, you've finally discovered that Jung Hoseok wants you. He actually wants you! And you're sure as hell going to use that to your advantage.

A small smirk spreads across your lips as you crawl into the backseat of the cab. There are a million and one possibilities flashing through your mind. But where to start…?

Sorry this took so long, but please don’t ask about updates :)

#bts scenarios #bts scenario #hoseok scenarios #jhope scenarios #oops this took s long

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dark-unimaginably-stupid-kids · 7 years

Text

Not Dreaming of You [Ch 1]

(Because You Won’t Let Me Sleep)

Series- Voltron

Pairing(s)- End Game is Klancelot, with a slight incline toward Keitor simply based on the set up.

Other pairs include minor Shallura, past Rolotor, one-sided Sheith. platonic Plance and even a hint of Heith if you squint real hard.

Characters in this fic in order of most screen time: Keith, Lotor, Lance, Pidge, Hunk, our Lovely Lady Generals, Kuron, Shiro, Allura, Rolo and Nyma

Synopsis: Keith has been tensely living with Lotor for about a year. They aren’t exactly friends, but occasionally they can get along. Suddenly with no explanation their neighbor Rolo moves out and two very noisy whack jobs move in. Somewhere between the loss of Lotor’s old fuck buddy and Keith’s sleep deprivation things start to get a little…odd.

“I’m telling you, there is something wrong with them!”

Chapter 1-

In which Keith gets out of work late and is too tired to deal.

Lance is loud and Lotor is…Lotor.

Work had been exhausting. God knows why anyone in their right mind would travel all over the grocery store with raw meat in their basket just to leave it buried behind the cereals—because that’s absolutely where it’s supposed to go right?

Keith had been the unfortunate one to find the mess and the blood and the boxes and boxes of completed ruined cereal. That was just the cherry on top of his grueling day at the express lane feigning cheer and putting up with stupid customers.

One of these days he was going to quit. Just. Just take his little name tag and stab Iverson in the eye with it.

…That could end in incarceration rather than just a very clear “I Quit” though so…maybe not.

Whatever. He was exhausted. He was allowed to day dream.

Even if it was close to two in the morning and he was laying on the couch praying for his aching muscles to give him the strength to drag himself into the shower because!! He was not crawling into bed like this absolutely not, na-uh.

He was so tired though. Maybe he could just. Take a little nap right on the couch.

His roommate wasn’t due home for another couple hours, little club hopping piece of shit that he was. Heck, if Keith was really lucky Lo would find somewhere else to spend the night and Keith could have the apartment all to himself in the morning to wallow in his miserable life.

But he needed to shower.

Lo or not he needed to shower and crawl into bed and sleep for the next week.

He rolled off the couch and screamed at nothing—quietly, to mind his neighbors beyond thin walls—and when that didn’t help his situation at all he dragged himself to his feet to trudge along to his bedroom for his towel. Normally, he’d carry clothes with him as well as he was so unlike his roommate in that he didn’t thoroughly enjoy parading around the apartment naked but fuck it he wasn’t home and Keith really didn’t want to wear clothes or exist—

He was going to pull the extra fluffy blanket out of the closet tonight it would be glorious and absolutely necessary and prudent to his recovery.

God did he still smell like cow blood?

He still smelled like cow blood.

“What IS that?!”

Keith fumbled with his towel.

“I know it…! PIIIIIIDGE!”

“what-what-what-what!?!! Why are you screaming?!”

That was coming from those thin walls as previously noted. A boy and a girl. The girl sounded further away but grew progressively louder as she presumably got closer to the wall Keith shared with them.

It was two in the morning right? Why were they so active?

And didn’t Rolo live next door? Neither of these two sounded like Rolo.

“Do you smell that?! What is that!?!”

“Lance we just moved in there’s bound to be—Oh.”

“YOU SMELL IT TOO DON’T YOU!?!”

“Well—!”

“Dude! Is it coming from the walls!?!”

They were excitedly squeaking at each other, getting shriller as they went. Keith could feel his head rattling. He really didn’t have the energy to be concerned about what kind of mold Rolo had growing in his apartment. Of course, by default that meant it could very likely spread and become Keith’s concern in a short span of time but…

For right now, he just couldn’t be bothered.

As he held his towel in his hands he briefly considered how disgusting his hands were. He’d washed them eighty times at the store but they just. Didn’t feel clean enough. And now they were on his perfectly clean towel he was going to need to use to dry himself off later.

Maybe he should just dump this in the dirty clothes along with his uniform and just—air dry.

“No. No Lance, we can handle this okay. We just got here. This is gonna be good for us. We’re fine. We’re two… totally stable…totally normal individuals and we can handle this, no wigging out.” The girl sounded determined and her voice somehow retained human levels of shrill.

The boys did not, “But Pidge it’s right there!”

Keith glared at the spot on his wall where he was sure the boy on the other side must have leaned against it with a thump. He was confused, but too tired to ask so instead he walked over to that spot on the wall and slammed his open palm down against it. The smack made his entire body go weak but with the startled yelp from the other side it had been worth it.

“Keep it down!” Keith shouted at them.

“God Lance look what you—how could you already upset the neighbor!?”

“Why does it smell like this!?!”

Keith quirked a brow but the girl shushed him and there was the sound of several thumps and a door shutting hard.

Alright.

Okay.

You know What?

This is fine.

He took his disgusting towel in his disgusting hands anyway and went to shower.

There was something crazy soothing about being drenched in scalding hot water when your body felt like gelatin. He might have stayed in there until the skin on his fingers got pruney but frankly he didn’t care. He wrapped his towel around his waist, having mostly forgotten it was previously dubbed “disgusting” and let himself out of the extremely fogged up bathroom.

Standing out in his apartment in nothing but his towel felt a little strange, but he reminded himself Lo wasn’t home and hopefully, one day when he lived far far away in a lonely little shack in the middle of nowhere, every day would be like this and it wouldn’t be weird then.

The bathroom door looked out onto a hallway that ended in the apartment balcony and Keith offered the darkness of three AM a passing glance when he caught sight of something that looked vaguely terrifying.

If Keith had to admit it, it looked almost like the shadow of a person on the balcony. The shadow of a person, crouched on the floor, staring through the sliding glass door with glowing golden slits for eyes.

But, when Keith’s eyes adjusted from the light and fog of the bathroom to the blurred darkness of the outside there was absolutely no shadow and no glowing eyes.

Clearly, Keith was tired.

His stomach growled in agreement.

Wait, no.

No way. He was not hungry he couldn’t be hungry he didn’t have the energy left to be hungry—!!

---

Lotor came home while Keith was standing in their kitchen chewing on a pop tart over the sink, still clad in only his towel.

Keith didn’t need a mirror to realize he was probably pink in the face and doing a piss poor job of hiding his panic.

Lotor stared at him for a long moment, door ajar behind him, coat half shrugged off his shoulder and keys in hand.

“…Good Morning, Red.”

“It’s night time.” Keith mumbled over a mouth of pop tart he hadn’t managed to swallow.

Just like that, Lotor relaxed, “It’s 3 AM. As in morning. Don’t be difficult.”

“…Fair.”

Lotor shut the door and locked it before shrugging his coat the rest of the way off and hanging it from one of the hooks near the door. Keith had one too, but his cropped jacket wasn’t as aesthetically pleasing as Lotor’s long black fleece lined coat. And Lotor would definitely fight him if the hideous bright red thing clashed with his living room.

It had won him the nickname “Red” after all.

To be fair, since Lotor’s dad was footing most of the bill for the apartment the two of them had moved into after their sophomore year, Keith really couldn’t complain much.

“Anyway, is there a reason you’re up this late? And…naked?” Lotor’s eyes drifted up and down Keith’s pale form and Keith felt vaguely violated. When Lotor dared to raise his eyebrows and smirk Keith almost threw the remainder of his pop tart at him.

“Got out of work late, showered, snacked. That’s all.”

“Darn, and here I thought you’d finally cracked and fallen prey to my charms, that I could have gotten lucky tonight after all. Perhaps there’s still a chance to convince you?”

Keith flushed and stuffed his face with the rest of his pop tart, a large part of him wanted to dart into his room and ignore the comment but the part of him that rose to the challenge wanted to bait him. He knew it was a joke but he wanted to see how far Lotor would take it, “You want to convince me?”

Lotor leaned against the kitchen counter, a small but obvious smirk on his face as he looked Keith up and down again, seemingly considering the idea before he shrugged his shoulders, “Eh. You look beat. I’ll try again tomorrow. Stay naked though, makes it easier.”

Clearly Lotor was still working whatever alcohol he’d consumed out of his system if he was going to play flirt like that.

“The pop tart crumbs on your mouth really seal the deal too. Really works for me.” Lotor’s grin widened to show his perfect teeth and Keith rolled his eyes, before rinsing his still vaguely pruney hands in the kitchen sink and wiping his mouth.

“Maybe I should eat something myself actually. Narti had me try something called a Dirty Bong Water. We had…possibly eight of them.” Lotor drawled out before squeezing past Keith in their tiny kitchen toward the refrigerator.

Keith hummed absently, trying to pretend he didn't pay close attention to the warmth of the other man's presence or the way several unnaturally silver strands of hair were falling loose from the bun he'd tied it all into earlier that night.

“We have to go shopping,” Lotor mumbled as he peered around the contents of the fridge. They were almost out of soy milk, the grapes had shriveled and needed to be thrown out, they had two eggs left and a ridiculous amount of pudding but otherwise, yes, it was looking pretty scarce.

“Not it!” Keith shouted immediately.

Lotor turned to stare at him as if he’d grown a second head, “But you work there.”

“Exactly! That’s like my asking you to go to your dad’s firm on your day off.”

Lotor’s brows remained quizzically raised, “That isn’t the same thing at all. Why would I have to go there on my day off? I barely work there as it is.”

“To get groceries.”

“It’s a law firm, Keith. You're not making any sense.”

“I am very tired, Lo.”

The taller boy retreated from the fridge and shut the door behind him as he offered his roommate a sympathetic stare.

“Perhaps you should go to bed then?” He offered.

Keith nodded, “Hopefully the new neighbors will let me—oh! Did you know about that? That we got new neighbors today?”

At this Lotor’s eyes, a pretty deep dark blue, flashed in recognition, “Ah yes, I did see them come in today. Not sure what exactly got into Rolo but he said something about going back to his family for a while.”

Keith blinked, “…Rolo hates his family.”

“I’m aware.”

“He moved into his van when he was fifteen. He couldn’t wait to get away from them. Why the hell—”

Lotor raised a hand to silence Keith before placing both hands on Keith’s shoulders and turning him around, nudging him forward, “I don’t know Red, and there’s no point in asking me, these are mysteries for the daylight hours—”

“Eh it's not like it matters. I didn’t really like him anyway.” Keith continued, tilting his head back, watching Lotor’s long tan fingers as they released his shoulders with a questionable wave.

“Hm?” Lotor hummed. Of course, he didn’t know how little Keith and their neighbor got along given that in the last year he'd never actually seen the two interact. But if he had been paying attention one could even make the case that Rolo would have preferred his family to having to live next to Keith at this point.

Why were things so tense between Keith and his neighbor?

Well, because Lotor had an awful habit of getting bored, wandering over to the apartment next door, and not coming back for hours during which Rolo would play that horrendously awful “sexy times” playlist that Keith was more than tired of listening to.

Of course, to be clear, Keith’s annoyance was primarily with the playlist and not in Lotor’s involvement at all.

Naturally.

The man just had awful taste in music.

Though after Rolo met his girlfriend Nyma and Lotor stopped going over to the backdrop noise of deep repetitive beats Keith might have to admit he found his neighbors existence slightly less annoying.

Even despite the fact the music never stopped because Nyma wasn't even remotely prudish.

But again, Lotor wouldn’t know and it didn't matter because it had nothing to do with Lotor.

Nothing. Not a thing.

“He was just a dick sometimes, ya know?”

A vaguely knowing look passed over Lotor’s face as he eyed his roommate. At Keith’s unsure silence Lotor finally shrugs and reached up to run his fingers through his hair. Remembering at the last moment that his hair was tied up, he lifted both hands instead. One removed the hair tie, the other quickly went to work threading through his locks to make them appear sensible.

Of course, they always appear sensible.

Because Lotor always looks like a goddamn model no matter what he’s doing.

At least, Keith thinks dryly, he knows Lotor’s hair isn’t naturally silver. Hell, he’d even helped touch up the other mans roots once or twice when they’d been having a tolerable week.

Still. Rooming with Lotor had always given him a touch of a self esteem issue. He was just. Perfect. All the time. And on top of that he was a very prosperous flirt who could get pretty much anyone he wanted and flaunted this evil super power with this infuriating pride—

Keith wasn’t really interested in relationships if he was being honest, he was too busy trying to figure out his life and what he was going to do with a bachelor’s in liberal studies and a dead end cashiers job to really try going out and meeting anyone. But sometimes, he figured, it might have been nice.

And maybe it would be nice to get that kind of attention from Lotor in a more genuine way.

Rather—not Lotor, of course not Lotor—but when he’d walked in earlier and almost looked like he was genuinely checking him out it almost made Keith feel…good.

God damn Lotor had nice hair.

“But the new neighbors are noisy. So. I’m not sure if we leveled up or not,” Keith offered finally.

Lotor raised a brow as he decided he wasn’t going to wait for Keith to call it a night and let himself into the bathroom. Keith stayed idle at the entrance to the hallway. Honestly, it was rare they’d talked this long as it was and Keith probably should have taken the hint and just gone to bed.

Heck, he was still wearing just a towel. How exhausted was he that he could just forget that fact?

“Noisy?” Lotor called out to him, surprising him. He really had thought Lotor was going to ignore him and head to bed at this point.

Lotor turned on the sink and proceeded to brush his teeth while Keith explained what he’d overheard when he came back from work.

“Rolo doesn’t have mold. I was there yesterday,” Lotor responded dryly when he was finished rinsing.

“Well what else could it have been?”

“More questions I’m simply not equipped to answer for you tonight, Red. But I’ll tell you what, I’ll go over tomorrow and investigate. Make nice with the new neighbors. I’m sure they’re not as bad as you think.” Lotor dried his hands on the purple hand towel and shut off the bathroom light mumbling about it being way too late to take a shower and odds were Keith had used all the hot water.

This was one of their first arguments as roommates, they both enjoyed scalding hot showers and if Keith was tired he simply would not leave. They had decided at that point Keith would bathe in the mornings and Lotor would take the evenings baring unforeseen circumstances that they would then accommodate to accordingly. Much like he was going to do now.

But again, Lotor was perfect so he probably didn’t even sweat and he certainly didn’t come home smelling like cow blood so he’d be fine.

Regardless, Keith couldn’t help but consider how willing Lotor was to visit the new neighbors.

“…Which one.” He groaned, voice dripping with exasperation.

“Pardon?”

“Which one caught your attention?” Keith grumbled while the taller male paused in front of him, his eyes lingering on Keith’s collar bone for just a second. Keith assumed he’d imagined a mosquito or something. Lotor absolutely hated those and would quite comically rave about setting fire to the apartment if it took longer than ten minutes to kill one.

Not that there was any reason for Keith to be thinking about some of the funnier or cuter things Lotor was capable of when he was so close to him and naked.

Honestly, Keith didn’t want to hear the answer to his question but he couldn’t help that he’d still asked it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Keith.” Lotor even said it with a lilt and the beginnings of that shit eating grin Keith hated so much.

“I swear to god Lotor— they already sound annoying I don’t need you making it worse.”

Lotor laughed outright and Keith wanted to wretch at the awkward feeling in his stomach.

“Red, you think everyone is annoying.”

“And don’t you forget it. You’re not even an exception.”

Lotor nodded, raising a hand to Keith’s head and roughing up his hair. Would it be dramatic to say it felt like his heart stuttered with the motion? Lotor gave him palpitations. Clearly living together was shortening his lifespan.

��I’m aware. Nice chatting with you, we should avoid it in the future.”

Keith shivered at the fond way Lotor said that, but he blamed his current ensemble for it, “We should. Agreed.”

Lotor removed his hand from the others hair and waved, “Night Red.”

Yeah. Yeah really this was such a weird night.

“Night Lo.”

Lotor’s bedroom door shut quietly behind him and Keith shuffled into the hallway closet to dig out his fluffy blanket as he had planned at the beginning of the night.

When he made it to his room the neighbor was playing music. Not as loud as Rolo but still loud enough to keep him up if he were any less exhausted.

The quality of music was also nicer. Softer… Spanish?

When Keith’s head hit the pillow he went out like a light, whether it was from exhaustion paired with the music or the idea of this being the start of one of those “tolerable” spells between himself and his roommate, he didn’t know, he didn’t care.

Sleep was just. So good and so necessary right now.

And yet he woke up around sunrise to the sound of his neighbors shrieking.

“Cover it up! COVER IT UP!”

“I’m TRYING!”

Keith pulled his second pillow over his head and squeezed it tightly. Somehow he got the feeling sleep would be a rare thing from now on, with those two living next door.

What the fuck was wrong with them? ----

AN: So I would have posted this earlier but I was thoroughly distracted by Steven Yeun’s VOICE--

And yes, this is another multi-chaptered fic (Because what the fuck Gen) I’m still going to be working on IFE but it’s at a slightly lower priority right now because A) I’m totally winging it and it was mostly an experiment to play with some world building for my original series and B) There doesn’t seem to be much interest in it ANYWAY so like...no pressure yeah? <3;;; Also C) THIS STORY RIGHT HERE ACTUALLY HAS A PLOT?!!!

Like I have actual chapters planned and Lisa even got a ridiculous derpy outline when I was bored and ended up writing one instead of working on Dusk.

This was SUPPOSED to be a stupid little one shot with Klance and platonic Plance but then suddenly there was Lotor. Descended from space to give me a message! “You’re going to love me and give me the littlest blade now.” And suddenly my derpy Klance one shot became multi chapters predominantly Keitor/Klancelot.

So.

Fuck it.

Let’s see how this goes lol.

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centralparkpawsblog · 5 years

Text

How to Puppy Proof Your House

https://www.centralparkpaws.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/51kqZvQ4ooL.jpg

Last night I was at a Mom’s Night Out event and was chatting with a friend, Julie, about her new puppy.

She had adopted a little poodle mix in September and was telling me all about her puppy’s daily antics and challenges.

Julie said one of the biggest challenges in puppy training was when the kids were “watching” the puppy.

She said that her teens had about the same attention span as the pup, which resulted in the puppy wandering off find to find its own form of entertainment.

Also, she said that kids aren’t great about picking up after themselves, so several shoes, clothing, and a backpack have all suffered the wrath of a teething puppy.

How can you save your house from a puppy’s wrath?

Puppy Proofing Your Home

Puppy proofing your house before the arrival of your puppy is vital to both your puppy’s safety and your sanity.

Puppies explore their surroundings using all of their senses, sight, smell, taste, and feel. Puppies often pick up anything they see on the floor or ground.

Puppies don’t always chew on or pick up items with the sole intent of eating them.

Much of the time, they are figuring out if that item is edible, chewable, or something of no real interest.

Other puppies like Daisy will also explore by pushing things with their noses.

Daisy would smell something and then give the item a nudge with her nose before she decided to put said item in her mouth.

So, when considering how to best puppy proof your house, you need to consider, from a puppy’s level, what they may chew on, nose, or try and eat.

And when I say see things from their level, I mean get down on their level and see what might look appealing to a puppy.

Also, remember puppies can explore standing on their hind legs, so keep things way up out of their reach.

Additionally, when puppy-proofing your home consider using gates to help keep puppies confined to smaller areas of your home.

Using gates will do two things; first, it will help with housetraining, and second, it will make it easier to supervise your puppy’s activities.

Dangerous Items Puppies Chew On

Cords

Cords pose a significant danger for puppies.

They are often appealing because they are at the puppy’s level and usually hidden behind or under furniture.

The apparent threat for a puppy chewing on a cord is electrocution, but additionally, wires can be a choking hazard as well.

Easy ways to keep cords from being chewed on are:

Covering the cables with rugs

Taping the cords down

Attaching a cord channel over the cord to keep it protected and hidden

Product Recommendations

D-Line Cable Grip Strip Check Price

Belkin Cord Concealer Check Price

D-Line Cable Raceway Check Price

Chew Deterrent Sprays

Sprays can be used to deter dogs from chewing cords and other objects.

The drawback of using a spray is that it evaporates and requires consistent reapplication.

Product Recommendations

Rocco & Roxie No Chew Extreme Bitter Spray Check Price

Bodhi Dog Bitter Lemon Spray Check Price

Granicks Bitter Apple Taste Deterrent Check Price

Garbage and Recycle Bins

Dogs of all ages love getting into the trash, and why not?

I am sure it smells like a buffet of goodness, at least to them.

Not only is it a huge unwanted mess to clean up, but there are dangers in the garbage that can cause serious harm to your puppy. Things like:

Bones

Cans

Poisonous foods (A list can be found below)

Fatty foods (which can cause pancreatitis)

Because of my 29 pounds of Awesome, also known as Sophie, we have our garbage attached to the wall in four points (see image).

We previously only attached it at the top of the can but she literally ripped off the wall.

I’m not saying that you need to bolt your can to the wall like us.

Usually, a covered receptacle or one tucked behind a cupboard works just fine.

Common Hazardous or Toxic Household Items

House Plants

Several common house plants are considered safe for humans but are poisonous to our canine companions[1].

Some of these plants include:

Aloe

Emerald Feather

Asparagus Fern

Amaryllis

Ribbon Plant

Arrowhead vine

Dieffenbachia

For a full list of plants, both indoor and outdoor, check out the ASPCA website.

If you have any of these plants in your home, you will want to move them out of your puppy’s reach.

Also, even if a plant is safe for your puppy, be aware that they may see the planter as something fun to dig in. Daisy enjoyed digging, regardless if it was outside in the yard or a potted plant.

Trust me, it’s a huge mess you will want to avoid.

Air Fresheners

The majority of pet parents like using products listed as organic or natural; however, those two words do not equate to safe.

There are pet safe air fresheners, though

Most commercial air fresheners, including ones containing my beloved essential oils, often contain volatile organic compounds[2] (VOC).

Products that fall under the VOC heading are deemed hazardous or toxic according to US Federal law.

Air fresheners cause two potential dangers:

First, if your dog breathes in VOCs from air fresheners, it can cause significant respiratory issues.

And, second, if your puppy consumes the air freshener, it can cause severe GI upset, tremors, weakness, and unsteadiness.

By simply walking through a room air freshener has been used, a dog can pick it up on the bottoms of their feet.

Ingestion can happen just from your puppy licking their paws or fur after it comes in contact with the air freshener.

Remember that puppies are more sensitive than full-grown dogs, so please don’t assume that since your adult dog has not had any issues that it is equally safe for your puppy.

Cleaning Supplies

We may not always think about cleaning supplies because they are behind a cupboard door.

But dogs, especially bored puppies, can be tenacious and curious, which isn’t the best combination.

Additionally, if your puppy is hanging out with you while you clean, simply inhaling the fumes can cause harm to their respiratory system or cause skin irritations.

Also, like air fresheners, if a dog walks over or lays on surfaces that have been in contact with some of these chemicals, it can cause toxicity issues.

Common Chemicals Harmful to Dogs

Window Cleaner

Ammonia

Drain Cleaner

Products Containing VOCs

Products Containing Bleach

Oven Cleaner

Human Food

Many dog parents are familiar with some of the more common foods toxic to dogs, but if you are a new dog parent, you may not know that some of our favorite foods are not safe to share with your pooch.

Common Toxic Foods

Chocolate – The darker it is, the more toxic it is

Grapes and Raisins

Macadamia Nuts

Alcohol

Caffeine – Coffee, energy drinks, etc.

Xylitol – This is commonly found in gum, toothpaste, baked goods, and sugar-free foods[3]

Onions and Garlic

For a full list of foods not safe for your pup check out the ASPCA’s website.

Medications

As stated by the Pet Poison Hotline, 50% of the calls that come in are due to dog’s ingesting human medications.

Both prescription and over the counter (OTC) drugs can be toxic to dogs.

Puppies can chew right through child-proof caps!

Common medications that are harmful to dogs are:

Ibuprofen – Example: Advil or Naproxen

Acetaminophen – Example: Tylenol

Anti-Depressants

Blood Pressure Medications

ADD/ADHD Medications

Sleep Aids – Both OTC and Prescription

Thyroid Medications

Vitamins

If your dog consumes any medications not intended for them, you should call the Animal Poison Control Center at (855) 764-7661.

Harmful Products Found in the Garage or Shed

There is a multitude of products found in garages and sheds that are incredibly toxic to dogs.

Antifreeze – Antifreeze is said to have a sweet flavor that is very appealing to dogs. Even the smallest spills or drips of antifreeze can cause significant harm to your dog[5].

Weed and Pest Control Products – Though no one loves weeds, rodents, or insects invading their home or yard, these products pose a serious danger to your dog’s health. Keep in mind that many rodent control products use things like nut butter to entice the rodents to eat the poison. Many pups will find these equally appealing.

Paint and Varnish – Paint and varnishes are not only toxic when consumed, but the fumes can be hazardous to your dog’s health as well.

Fun Items to Chew on that Make Mom and Dad Upset

Not everything your dog is going to chew is harmful to their health, but that doesn’t mean we want them to chew on it.

Below are some common household items puppies enjoy gnawing on but pet parents would prefer they didn’t.

Furniture

Some puppies enjoy chewing on furniture, especially teething puppies.

Puppies enjoy chewing on harder objects to relieve the discomfort of teething.

If you find your puppy gnawing on your favorite piece of furniture you can:

Redirect them to an appropriate dog chew such as a teething bone or invite them to a game of puppy play.

Use a deterrent spray on the furniture your dog is attracted to. Be sure to test it in on a small area first to ensure that it won’t ruin your furniture.

Understand that to a puppy, furniture is no different to them than any other object. So, in the beginning, they will not decipher between appropriate and inappropriate chew items.

This is all part of puppy training.

If you have enrolled your puppy into a puppy class, they will likely be teaching you and your dog the “off” command, which will significantly help in saving your furniture.

Floor Lamps

Must have been a large puppy Photo by John Bracken (CC BY 2.0)

Daisy tipped over a floor lamp when she was a puppy and it scared both of us!

Thankfully, that scare was enough to keep her from nosing the lamp again.

We were fortunate that the lamp didn’t break on impact, but if it had, it would have been a massive mess of dangers glass.

To prevent your puppy from tipping a floor lamp, you will want to create a barrier so your puppy doesn’t have access to it.

Remote Controls

(Both for the Entertainment Center or Gaming Center)

Remotes are covered with our scent, making them a popular item dogs enjoy chewing.

In addition to needing to replace a chewed remote, there are a few possible dangers for your puppy.

The dangers of chewing on remotes are:

Cutting themselves on shards of plastic

Consuming parts or all of the remote

Chewing on or eating the batteries

So, keep those remotes up and out of your puppy’s reach.

Anything with Your Scent

Dogs love us, and when we are not around or available to play, dogs will seek out items that smell like their favorite humans.

You might be thinking, “Aww, how sweet?” but though it is sweet, it is also infuriating and sometimes dangerous to your dog.

Common Personal Items Dogs Love to Chew

Clothes

Shoes

Eye Glasses

Retainers

Hair Brushes

Cosmetics

Wallets

All of these items can cause choking hazards, but not all dogs eat what they chew on.

And you may be wondering if they love us so dang much why would they destroy the things that remind them of us?

It’s because chewing is a natural behavior and not seen as a negative thing.

I have a basket full of toys that look like they escaped misfit island because they’re missing various appendages, but I don’t chuck them because they are often my dog’s favorite toys.

The only way to prevent this is to put your stuff away in an area that is not accessible to your puppy.

Final Thoughts

When I was working as a dog trainer parents would come in and tell me about all the things their puppy chewed on like their cell phone, shoes, etc.

I always asked them, “Where was this object, and where were you?”

More often than not, my question was answered with an embarrassed silence.

It was not my intent to shame or embarrass the puppy parent, but instead to get them to think about who was truly at fault.

I know it can be quite emotional when you see the library book you checked out torn to pieces, but I guess I shouldn’t have left it at Daisy’s level before hopping in the shower.

We are all guilty of it, but we all need to remember who the parent is and who the puppy is.

It is called puppy training for a reason because they are puppies and don’t know any better

Remember, in the canine world, pretty much everything to a puppy is fair game to chew on, it’s only the human’s rules that make it taboo.

I know that this list feels overwhelming, but trust me, you will thank me later when you don’t have to replace your home furnishings, and you aren’t making a monthly visit to the emergency vet.

Your puppy loves you and doesn’t do things to get revenge or upset you; all they want is your love and attention.

Resources

https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/animal-poison-control/toxic-and-non-toxic-plants

https://www.petmd.com/dog/care/air-fresheners-and-pets

https://www.petmd.com/dog/emergency/poisoning-toxicity/6-dangerous-and-surprising-items-contain-xylitol?page=3

https://www.petpoisonhelpline.com/pet-owners/basics/top-10-human-medications-poisonous-to-pets/

https://www.vets-now.com/pet-care-advice/antifreeze-poisoning-in-dogs/

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