#those who will die on the hill die under the eyes of judgement

[fromtheashescamehope]

The fact that you are annoyed he's not dead speaks volumes on your morality, and humanity. I am not a trump supporter... but i also recognize he isn't Hitler. He isnt, and never will be. He never made conversion camps. he never killed thousands upon thousands of people... he has not betrayed us. He has however set forth many laws in which benefitted the lgbtqia+ and counting.... I would not have a conversation with the man over tea, and biscuits, we may not agree on everything, but he. is. a. human being. a person who happened to see everything that can happen in office. a person who... 'knows too much'/ Demonizing him will do what? start wars, turn people against each other despite us all wanting the same thing.... Peace. The ability to live among each other with love and acceptance. We are in a digital battleground right now, and children, teens, young adults, are losing their abilities to have their own opinions, being taken by storm either out of fear or by joining the hoard. You gotta be afraid of offending somebody... even though you just want to respect and love them as they are, as who they will be. is THIS the world that you want people? a world where people celebrate the death of another person just to be right? Why has the fight been lost on so many people because someone is afraid or reclusive to being wrong. Can we not see beyond Republican and Democrat? Race? Religion? I've been here before... i know your pain, i know your fight. as harsh as this could sound, 'winning' doesn't matter, because is it really winning when in the end you still feel as empty as you did before? Would you rather be 'right' or be free? Would you rather be 'politically correct' or live in harmony? Together despite difference, peace for all human beings. People of tumblr, i understand your anger, and hatred... but this is not the answer. Its never the answer and slowly but surely we are losing our empathy, letting rage consume us... was the lgbt not built on love? Now its only built on hate, and sufferage, and hurt. Its built on a sick sense of justice to fill the void that is our lives. Is anyone not in the deathnote fandom? Are we not acting like light in this situation, or are we? We are the people.... and we have to be the ones to decide our humanity... not let the crowd decide for us. Not let the loudest of our inner demons puncture and wound the little voice in our head screaming to us in guilt and shame.

-Pheonix

Yes yes, I too am very sad and annoyed that Trump is not dead, I got all breathlessly excited and queued up "Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead" to be ready for a great announcement, and then I didn't even get to play it. It's a huge bummer.

However, step two of this huge bummer is NOT "Oh no and now his fandom will be EVEN MORE ANNOYING, we have basically already lost :((((" That is the devil speaking. Step two is to say "Ah heck, his fandom is going to be even more annoying, better FUCKING VOTE AND MAKE SURE EVERYONE I KNOW ALSO VOTES" Stop your worthless defeatism, stop your stupid pessimism, stop trying to GIVE UP AND SURRENDER just cause one weird thing happened.

GO VOTE, IDIOTS

[sama-not-sam]

Sama "the ambitious" Ali: task 002; the eulogy

It hadn’t occurred to Sama that Mrs. Tristan might expect all of the wards to speak at the funeral. She’d expected to hear something from those who’d been closest to him, Angus, Carmen, Estrella, and probably from Alison, but she certainly hadn’t been planning to speak herself. Sama was here because it was appropriate, because she wanted to honor Richard’s memory and all he’d done for her, and because she’d never felt like she could say no to Mrs. Tristan. She was not here because she had any right to Richard’s life. But, she’d never felt like she could say no to Mrs. Tristan, so Sama would have to come up with something to say.

Sama was a fairly confident public speaker. She wasn’t someone who gave speeches, but she could lead a meeting or present findings when the need arose. The main problem was she didn’t have anything to say about Richard, or at least not anything that couldn’t be said by someone else. It felt a bit like being asked to give a eulogy for a former boss, or one of her college professors. Sama wasn’t qualified for this, and worse, it wasn’t something she would get a second chance at.

All through the service, Sama went back and forth in her mind about her plan, if it was a good one or not, if it would look like she was honoring one of Richard’s passions or like she just couldn’t be bothered to try harder. She refused to acknowledge that she was more concerned about Alison’s judgement than anyone else’s. At least she could find some comfort in the fact that she was closer to the beginning of the speakers than the end. She could get it over with, if nothing else.

Sama waited until Jacob was back in his seat before standing, not wanting to rush anything. She held the book of poetry with both hands as she took to the podium. She tried to look at the other mourners, but couldn’t, instead focusing on some point in the distance.

“Hello.” Her voice sounded too quiet, even with the aid of the microphone, and she had to take a slow breath before continuing, louder and more confident. “For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Sama Ali, one of Richard’s many wards.” Sama paused, losing her train of thought for a moment and unable to remember the transition she’d rehearsed in her head.

“I’m not a sentimental person. It’s not something that’s ever served me. I don’t have anything to share with you about Richard that you don’t already know.” She found herself unable to find a flow of words as she usually did, probably the difference between speaking to a group of coworkers and giving a eulogy.

Sama cleared her throat, and opened the book to the page she’d hastily marked with a bobby pin. She’d been thinking about poems about death since she first received Mrs. Tristan’s letter, and when she found out she was supposed to speak, Sama had slipped into the library in search of one in particular. Under the circumstances, it seemed like the best she could do.

“I thought, maybe, I could share something other than memories, something we all know Richard loved. This is a poem by Maya Angelou, titled When Great Trees Fall.

“When great trees fall, rocks on distant hills shudder, lions hunker down in tall grasses, and even elephants lumber after safety. “When great trees fall in forests, small things recoil into silence, their senses eroded beyond fear.”

Sama began to find her footing as she read the poem, gaining confidence in the familiar cadence of one of her favorite poets. She began to look out over the gathered crowd, meeting the eyes of some of her fellow wards.

“When great souls die, the air around us becomes light, rare, sterile. We breathe, briefly. Our eyes, briefly, see with a hurtful clarity. Our memory, suddenly sharpened, examines, gnaws on kind words unsaid, promised walks never taken. “Great souls die and our reality, bound to them, takes leave of us. Our souls, dependent upon their nurture, now shrink, wizened. Our minds, formed and informed by their radiance, fall away. We are not so much maddened as reduced to the unutterable ignorance of dark, cold caves. “And when great souls die, after a period peace blooms, slowly and always irregularly. Spaces fill with a kind of soothing electric vibration. Our senses, restored, never to be the same, whisper to us. They existed. They existed. We can be. Be and be better. For they existed.”

Sama closed the book and came back to herself, once again uncertain of her choice and unable to make eye contact. For a moment, she wondered if she should say something else, but she couldn’t think of anything, and certainly nothing more eloquent or poignant than Maya Angelou. So she just made her way back to her seat, back straight, shoulders square, eyes trained on the ground.

[psalmonesermons]

Insights into Ezekiel 6 :1-14

The Lord gives Ezekiel an over-view of the sins the Jews are committing against Him and what results his tailored judgements on them will be.

Judgment on Idolatrous Israel

1 Now the word of the Lord came to me, saying: 2 “Son of man, set your face toward the mountains of Israel, and prophesy against them, 3 and say, ‘O mountains of Israel, hear the word of the Lord God! Thus says the Lord God to the mountains, to the hills, to the ravines, and to the valleys: “Indeed I, even I, will bring a sword against you, and I will destroy your high places. 4 Then your altars shall be desolate, your incense altars shall be broken, and I will cast down your slain men before your idols. 5 And I will lay the corpses of the children of Israel before their idols, and I will scatter your bones all around your altars. 6 In all your dwelling places the cities shall be laid waste, and the high places shall be desolate, so that your altars may be laid waste and made desolate, your idols may be broken and made to cease, your incense altars may be cut down, and your works may be abolished. 7 The slain shall fall in your midst, and you shall know that I am the Lord.

Now that the Lord has pronounced His judgement of Jerusalem, He turns his attention to the mountains and high places of Israel. Ezekiel is told to set his face in judgement against these. A devastating judgement is coming on these places and especially since these were place associated with God’s presence thus showing that it was bad enough the idolatry being performed but worse still in His face as it were. The Lord will destroy the idolatrous alters, groves with their asherim and any other desecrated areas. Many people will be slain for participating in this pagan worship and once again there will be no doubt that the Lord has instigated this.

8 “Yet I will leave a remnant, so that you may have some who escape the sword among the nations, when you are scattered through the countries. 9 Then those of you who escape will remember Me among the nations where they are carried captive, because I was crushed by their adulterous heart which has departed from Me, and by their eyes which play the harlot after their idols; they will loathe themselves for the evils which they committed in all their abominations. 10 And they shall know that I am the Lord; I have not said in vain that I would bring this calamity upon them.”

Such idolatry has broken God’s heart and his wrath is fast approaching to bring great calamity on the nation yet as ever God chooses to spare a small remnant of His chosen people (as ever).

11 ‘Thus says the Lord God: “Pound your fists and stamp your feet, and say, ‘Alas, for all the evil abominations of the house of Israel! For they shall fall by the sword, by famine, and by pestilence. 12 He who is far off shall die by the pestilence, he who is near shall fall by the sword, and he who remains and is besieged shall die by the famine. Thus will I spend My fury upon them. 13 Then you shall know that I am the Lord, when their slain are among their idols all around their altars, on every high hill, on all the mountaintops, under every green tree, and under every thick oak, wherever they offered sweet incense to all their idols. 14 So I will stretch out My hand against them and make the land desolate, yes, more desolate than the wilderness toward Diblah, in all their dwelling places. Then they shall know that I am the Lord.

The Lord instructs the prophet to be very emphatic including his body language when he delivers these messages of the upcoming judgments declaring woe upon all the abominations of Israel. They shall surely die by the sword, famine, or disease. Disease will get those at a distance from Jerusalem, those around the city shall die by the sword and those inside the city will starve to death during the siege. God will make it plain to all that He has instigated all these severe judgements.

Those idolaters on the mountains and high grounds will fall at the very places of their pagan worship where they offered sacrifices to their idols. When the Lord kills them all this will make the land desolate thus suggestions that all the local populations had participated in the various forms of idolatry. Everyone will know sadly too late that this is from God.

[practically-an-x-man]

Random character asks. Give me one canon and one oc

2, 17, 18, 31

thank you so much bestie!!!

answers under the cut as usual. I ended up kinda bouncing around characters because that was easier.

Random Character Asks

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

Okay, I know you said one canon and one OC, but I'm feeling opinionated today and I don't really know how to answer this was an OC anyway.

Alex Summers is not dumb. Lack of education does not mean dumb. A criminal record does not mean dumb. He's quick-witted and can react quickly in a fight - not to mention, in the comics he's actually very intelligent and studies geophysical sciences. I'm tired of people turning him into a stereotypical "bad boy" and completely erasing those other sides of his character.

Billy from 6 Underground is not dumb. ADHD does not mean dumb. He talks fast and bounces from topic to topic, goes off on random side tangents, but he's not stupid. Parkour as a whole requires a lot of snap judgements, and intrinsic knowledge of physics and kinesthetics. Then add that to the fact that he was a thief and had to plan how to steal his target items (and not just himself, a whole crew of people), and there's actually a lot of intellect that goes into his character.

Just in general, I feel like intelligence gets missed when the character isn't "book smart" or formally educated. Just because a character doesn't spout facts and calculations doesn't mean they're dumb. There are so many other characters I could talk about here because it happens a LOT, but that's a separate post.

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

Obviously I work a lot of music into my fics, but I think Prometheus is the only one where I've made a truly defined playlist (and I don't really collect quotes or read a lot of poems). The song I most associate with them is The Calling by The Amazing Devil, for so many reasons. Here, look at the lyrics:

Back then, I was dauntless And dawn could never know And my weakness made me weep less Than I would ever show you I'd burn so bright it blinded Now I know that light guided me here I walked into the river To wring those embers from my broken heart and broken liver You'll never get your dinner if you don't learn how to get along And a fox somewhere is hiding That light I thought was blinding brought me here I look into the waters and see a face I don't understand We're both unwanted daughters But there's more than water in these autumn hands I look into the waters and see a face I don't recognize Who's this? (Who are you?) "What changed?" I ask "So strange, " she replies Shoulder the sky (I can't wait to show you how much) Open those eyes (I know you can be, just let the rain come) There's a kind (let the rain come down, darling) (Can't you hear it howling?) Of calling, calling

Look at it! The "burning" and "embers", all the fire symbolism! And then followed by a reference to the mythological Prometheus, with the "broken liver" bit! And the "looking into the waters" to me represented Prometheus partway through their transformation into a dream, when they look at themself and no longer see Nyx, but don't quite know what they've become yet. It fits them just so perfectly.

And I really like Wolf by First Aid Kit for the Corinthian too (thanks for sharing the song with me bestie, it's become one of my favorites).

18. What they’d go to see a therapist about

Bestie everyone needs so much therapy I don't even know who to talk about here.

Indie definitely needs to work through some PTSD. Even before the war, I think she struggles with it just from her experiences on Corellia, but it definitely gets worse after the final battle and everything that happened there.

I also feel like she and Hux might seek out couple's therapy at some point - not because anything's wrong, but just because they're both used to being alone and might need help learning to adjust to being able to rely on someone else.

31. If they had a tumblr what would it look like?

Out of my OCs, Jasper's the most likely to have a tumblr account. They probably made an account when they were 14-15 and spent way too long designing their blog, but hasn't changed it since then because they got too busy with college and didn't have the time. I don't think they'd have any blog theme, they'd just kinda reblog whatever they felt like.

For canon characters, this is a bit of a shitpost but I think it would be really funny if the Corinthian had a tumblr that was just him posting really vague rants about his boss, where they're juuust enough bizarre detail that you can't tell if it's a real rant or a tumblr-ism. Sort of like the @dreamofthemaidenless blog, I think

[wille-zarr]

Auriga Hills: Part One (Javier Peña x f!Reader)  (1930′s AU) (ON HIATUS)

Auriga Hills ~ Part One

masterlist / next part

pairing: javier peña (narcos) x f!reader

warnings: rated M for adult language; violence; smoking; allusions to sex

word count: 3.9k

story summary: 

Javier Peña- brash, arrogant, a real jerk.

And now he’s your damn husband.

Allured by the prospect of mischief and money, you consent to marry Javier Peña to assist him in his undercover mission for justice. You’re only in it for the fun, nothing more, nothing less. But traveling together in close quarters on a train bound for the West Coast comes with some unexpected ramifications- you’re actually beginning to like the damn idiot.

A 1930’s Enemies to Lovers AU

a/n: Train setting? Check. Enemies to lovers? Check. One bed trope? Check. Fake marriage? Hecc yea! Enjoy!

also found on: Ao3

Auriga Hills

Part One:

You’ve had your fair share of near-death experiences, but this one certainly takes the cake-

-Because you’re actually about to die.

Urg!

You wanted a heroic death, a front-page-newspaper-worthy death! Something along the lines of: “Woman Dies Saving Drowning Child!” or “Woman Throws Self in Front of Gun, Saving Pregnant Mother!”

Damn it, “Woman Strangled in Dark Alley!” doesn’t have nearly the same ring.

You continue whispering curses under your breath, leaping over a crate blocking the entrance to a darkness-draped alleyway. Your feet slip as you bolt forward, fighting for just an ounce of traction against the wet, gravel-coated ground. Eyelashes fluttering against the night air hanging thick with the fog rolling in off of the sea, you squint, spying the eerie, deserted docks in the distance.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

You can already see it- your corpse floating face-down in the water.

Oh, there’s no way in hell you’re running down there! You’re not about to hide somewhere so convenient for your killer.

No, if he’s gunna kill you, he’ll have to work to dispose of your body, thank you very much.

Growling through clenched teeth, you spin on the ball of your foot, cutting around the corner of a brick wall as tightly as you can without stumbling. You groan with relief when your feet finally trade the gravel for solid ground, easily doubling your speed with the added traction.

You strain your ears as you bound in between two buildings, listening for that tell-tell crunch of pursuing footfall.

…

Nothing.

You grin.

Tightening your cap against your head, you do not slow down- not even for one instant. You dare not- not until you get to a- ah! There!

You snicker as you bolt towards the abandoned warehouse towering before you, energy returning to you in droves. The building’s nothing but an empty shell now, long since abandoned by the drifters, such as yourself, who once haunted its interior, so it should be safe enough to settle down and hide within.

Home sweet home, baby.

Grinning, you blast the door wide open, storming inside as the noise reverberates throughout the barren building.

“Geez Louise!” You slide to a stop, panting heavily for air. Slapping both hands down against your knees, you whine at the stab, the sting in your side from the exertion of running.

Hell.

You deserved this.

You deserved to have a close call- to have the pants scared off you. Hell, what a sloppy job! You should be ashamed of yourself- you’re more talented than this!

With a heavy, forlorn sigh, you sink down to the ground, pressing your back up against the metal wall of the warehouse, shivering against the chill.

“Damn,” you groan, reaching into your coat to pull out the object responsible for all this bloody trouble.

Your wallet.

Okay, so maybe it’s not exactly your wallet…

It’s a…. borrowed wallet…

Borrowed from someone else’s pocket, that is.

You stare at the worn leather, letting your thumb trace the maker’s mark.

Well, what can you say?

You need the cash more than the man you pickpocketed this from, that’s for certain. He’ll get over it… eventually… If he ever stops searching for you, that is.

Your grin only widens.

With a snort, you paw it open and begin fumbling through the wads of….

…Hundred-dollar bills?

Your eyes blast open.

“Jumpin’ Jahosafat!” you hiss through your teeth, fingers tightening around the wallet. You-you can’t believe your luck!

“Bloody hell!” you gasp, shuffling through the bills, holding them up in the air to get a better look. This-this can’t be real! How many grand is this?

You throw your head back, your sharp bark of laughter bouncing off the thin, metal walls. “Ooooh-boy! Oh, that man wants to murder me right about now, absolutely murder me.” Oh, you wish you could see his face right about now!

Fighting against a fit of giggles bubbling up your throat, you pull out an identification card from the wallet, eager to discover the name and face of the man who’s, no doubt, off somewhere spitting every curse word under the sun at you.

You squint your eyes, attempting to read the card in the dark.

“Javier… Peña…” You pull the identification card further away from your face, trying to angle it just right in the moonlight so you could make out his image.

Two dark, soulful eyes and a moustache glare back at you.

“He looks like a damn grump.” Your grin falls into a frown at the judgement in his frozen stare. You toss the card off to the side. “Glad I stole from him.”

You reach back into the wallet, pulling out-

“Oh!”

Oh….?

Another card? And another… Another… Hell! How many….? All with different names, and-

Your eyes stretch, your stomach squeezes…

An… an ordinary citizen would never have this many… If- if he’s part of the mafia, or a copper, or…or…

Oh shit.

No, no, you’re washing your hands of this- immediately.

You cram the cards back into the wallet, removing the cash and stuffing it in your coat pocket.

“Nope, nope!” you grumble, leaping up to your feet. You spin around, not exactly sure what it is you’re looking for, but- ah, there! An open window, right above your head! And that side of the warehouse boarders the water- perfect!

You hurl your arm back, eager to rid yourself of-

“Throw that and see what happens.”

…oh shit.

You’re dead.

“Turn around.” The voice lowers. “Slowly.”  

…

Rage.

Rage edged in his tone.

Oh, hell.

Oh hell!

Your blood pulses, throbs in your ear. How- how do you get out of this?

You’re going to die you’re going to die you’re going to die.

Shit, shit, shit!

You raise both trembling hands. “Sir- I… There’s been a- a, uh, misunderstanding-” You slowly twist, meeting the two dark orbs of-

Javier Peña.

Or John Buckley.

Or Fred Matthews.

Or- or whatever his real name is.

You blink, refusing to drop his gaze, swallowing back the fear gurgling in the pit of your stomach.

Both of his hands rest calmly on his waist, but there’s nothing calm in his expression. His eyes flash at you, furor radiating off of him in waves.

“Five words.”

His voice is deep, raspy- made all the more terrifying when paired with the searing I’m-going-to-kill-you glare. He rolls his shoulders forward, taking on the presence of an even larger man.

“Give me-” he takes a step forward, his shadow crawling across your face- “my damn wallet.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You lower your brows. “And get the hell out of my house!”

He quirks his brow, watching you with a deepening expression.

Damn it, what are you doing?

“Stop playing games with me, mujer.” Something… dark edges in his tone. He raises a finger, pointing at your hand. “It’s in your fist.”

Your eyes lower.

“Ah, oh my! Thought this was mine!” You toss him a cheeky grin. “No harm done?”

You don’t wait for an answer.

You spin around.

The window.

Arm back- aim-

“Ack!” you squeal, throwing all of your weight at the ground. “Let go of me, you creep!”  You thrust out your feet, aiming over and over and over for his shins, but missing each time.

His grip on your wrist is painful, unforgiving, holding you partially up off the floor.

“You little shit,” he growls, plucking the wallet from your grasp. He frees your wrist, letting you flop back against the floor with a hard oof.

Groaning, you scramble away from him, stumbling up to your feet. “Fuck you!” you shout, launching towards the door.

So close-

A hand slaps on your shoulder- heaves you backwards. “Yipes!” you yelp, stumbling to the ground at the sudden reversal of momentum.

You throw out an elbow, but it lands nowhere.

You squirm- kick-

But then-

Two large hands press your shoulders against the ground-

-you’re pinned.

“Stop fighting,” he hisses in your ear, breath hot against your skin- a faint hint of cigarettes. “And stop yelling.” He reaches down, digging through your coat pockets.

“Why?” you growl, wriggling beneath his weight. “S-so you can kill me without any w-witnesses?”

He doesn’t answer.

You blink.

Oh… not… good.

“W-wait- sir!”

He pulls back, flashing you the wad of cash. “A misunderstanding?”

“Give me that!” you hiss, raising up off the floor. “I need it more than you!” You throw out a hand, but he swiftly pulls it away, tucking the cash within his coat.

He’s up on his feet and stalking away before you can barely think.

“I saw all those cards, Mr. Peña!”

He freezes.

"Give me a hundred, and I’ll… uh, forget what I saw.”

He turns, faces you- but it’s not anger that’s etched on his face.

Amusement.

At you.

He grunts, reaches into his coat-

Your eyes blast open. “Don’t shoot!” You throw your hands in front of you, stumbling back a few steps.

“Relax.” His voice is buttery smooth- almost mocking. He sticks a cigarette in his mouth, lighting it as he watches you, the layer of sweat on his face reflecting against the moonlight.

He puffs on the cigarette, silent.

Staring at you.

Wet curls plastered against his brow.

You raise your chin defiantly. “Don’t think I won’t-”

“As if anyone would listen to a thief.”

You blink.

A small smirk quirks up in the corner of his mouth. He takes another puff of his cigarette, dabbing the ashes off to the side.

“Go home-” he takes a puff of his cigarette- “kid.”

“I told you-” you take a step forward, red flashing in the corner of your vision- “you’re in my home.”

“Here?” His voice deepens, and he throws a glance up, eyeing the hole in the roof of the warehouse.

“Yeah,” you growl through gritted teeth. You cross your arms tightly across your chest. “Don’t pretend you care. You don’t care- care if I’m hungry or cold tonight!” You throw your hand out towards the door. “Just take your money and get the hell away from me.”

The amusement slips from his face, the irritable expression from his identification card swiftly replacing it.

“Goodnight then-” he tosses his cigarette to the ground, putting it out with his heel- “And careful-” his voice lowers, deep, raspy- “who you steal from next.”

 You watch as he slips out the door, stalking beneath the shadows of the buildings lining the docks.

And then-

He’s gone.

Along with the cash-

-Your chance at a new start in life.

Rage explodes behind your eyes.

“ARG!”

You kick at the side of the building, cringing against the jolt of pain that shoots up your leg.

“Damn you, Javier Peña!” you scream into the dark. “And damn your stupid mustache!”

You really hope he heard you.

-------

It was a bad idea to stay in the warehouse for the night. Damn, you forgot how cold it could get by the sea. You can’t stop shivering.

With a pathetic groan, you sit up, eyeing the moon through the window, trying your best to assess what time it could be.

You raise a brow. Maybe… Four o’clock? Five o’clock?

You sigh.

Fine. Whatever.

Guess you’re up for the day.

Leaning down, you dust off your baggy pants, lamenting your current status. Maybe it’s time to jump another train… try a new location.

Tucking your hands in your pockets, you sneer over at the cigarette on the ground, trying to avoid thinking about…. him.

Hell! If it wasn’t for… him, you- you could have used that cash to have a bed tonight- warm food! A… a hot bath!

You groan pathetically, inching the door open. “Oh, curse my bad luck,” you grumble, flopping your head back as you stumble out into the chilly sea breeze. You wish you never held that cash at all if you couldn’t keep it for yourself.

It was all just a cruel joke.

But then again… it was kind of your fault for stealing it to begin with…

Oh, no matter.

Soon, you’ll find a way to get back on your feet. This is all just temp-

“Good morning, Mujer.”

“Yipes!” You all but jump off the dock and into the water. “Wha- oh, you!” Gritting your teeth, you all but growl at him like a feral dog. “What the hell do you want?” Tapping your foot rapidly against the dock, you throw both hands on your hips.

He leans up against the wall of the warehouse, taking another puff of his cigarette. He glances up at the setting moon, utterly unbothered by your anger.

“I have a… proposition for you.” His voice is low, still and calm.

“…What’s this proposition, Mustache?”

“Call me that again-” his voice drops- “and you’re taking a swim.”

You’re almost tempted to test him… almost.

Rolling your eyes, you saunter a few feet closer to him. “What. Do. You. Want?”

His eyes darken- piercing into your own. His raspy voice is all but a hoarse whisper-

“I want you to marry me.”

Silence.

…

You burst into laughter. “Oh- hell! G-good one!” Reaching out, you give him a slap on the arm. “Damn, I’m-”

“One grand, for your trouble.” He takes a puff of his cigarette, his dark gaze holding your own. “And a quick annulment when we get to the West Coast.”

You blink.

“Wait… you’re serious? Actually… serious?”

“I don’t joke, hermosa.” He shifts forward, passing you by as he steps to the edge of the dock. “I’ve… run into a complication.”

Your eyes widen. “Oh, wait a minute, are you a cop?” You run forward to stand beside him, staring up at his face. “A mobster? What exactly am I getting into here?”

He tilts his head, glancing down at your gaping mouth.

“You don’t need to know.”

“Like hell I don’t! I’m getting the hell out of here!”

“Hold on-”

You stare down at his hand clutching your wrist. “Fifteen hundred.” His eyes shift away from your face, his voice… tightening. “I… work for the government, hermosa. That’s all you need to know. My partner… she fell through.”

“You better not tell me she got bumped off, I swear I will-”

"The California Express train leaves today, and I must be on it, with a wife. I’m… out of options.”

Ripping your arm back, you furrow your brows at him. “Then, be on it? I don’t want the money- you’re insane. You don’t need a wife; you need a doctor.”

Spinning around, you begin to rush down the dock.

No amount of money is worth-

“Two grand.”

Freeze.

Slowly, carefully, you turn back around, watching with wide eyes as he saunters towards you.

“Two grand.” He tilts his head. “Two grand. This is…. important, Hermosa.”

“Two… grand?” you whisper, eyes widening. “Jumping Jahosafat, it must be important…”

Tossing the cigarette into the water, he steps right up beside you, hovering over your face.

"Very.”

A small smile tickles the corner of your mouth.

“Three grand.”

“No.”

“Then bye.”

“Wait-”

He growls, rubbing his eyes. “Fine, three grand.”

“And an annulment? Once the train arrives in California?”

He releases a heavy sigh. “Yes.”

Slowly, a grin inches its way across your face.

“Well, Javi-” you slap him against his shoulder- “you just bought yourself a wife.”

His frown only deepens.

“Let’s get one thing clear-” his fingers dig into your upper arm, pulling you into him. “If you break my cover or once- even once- ignore my any of my orders, I will not hesitate to throw you off a moving train.” His voice is cold, hard. You believe his every word. “Are we clear?”

You only sweeten your smile.

“Javi, dear-”

“Don’t call me Javi.”

“Let me make one thing clear-” you stand up on your tiptoes, resting your arm atop his shoulder- “If you touch me- even once- I’ll lob your head off.” You wink. “Are we clear?”

He has the audacity to return your smile.

“Indeed.”

It hits you at once- three grand.

Three grand! You- you can’t believe it! Three grand! And a free trip to California? You- you can maybe open that bakery! Just like Mother’s!

You clasp your hands together, bouncing on the balls of your feet. “Damn, three grand!”

"Calm down,” he grumbles, lowering his brow. “We don’t have much time. You’ll need some clothes, I imagine, before we go to the courthouse.”

“Clothes?”

“You can’t wear that-” he motions at your baggy pants and much-too-large coat- “on the California Express.”

“Fine, guess we’re going shopping?”

“You need a bath before I’m taking you in anywhere,” he grumbles under his breath, spinning around on his heel as he stalks away.

“Hey!” you yelp, jogging up behind him. “Excuse me, sir. What exactly are you trying to insinuate?”

“You stink.”

“Of all the nerve!” You stumble over your feet trying to keep pace with his strides. “I’m- I’m not bathing in your hotel room, you peeping tom!”

He stops- you run straight into his back.

“Oof, Javi!”

“We’re going to be married, sharing a train compartment-” he angles his head to the side- “and you’re worried about this?”

Silence.

He has a point.

…Not that you’re going to admit that.

“Javi, I will not, you mustached bastard- what- wait! What are you doing? JAVI!”

He swings you forward- and you flail- off the dock-

-straight into the water below.

“J-Javi!” you shriek, splashing the water around you as you fight to stay afloat.

“You can bathe down there,” he grumbles, amusement lacing his tone, “or you can bathe in my hotel room. Your choice.”

“I- I hate you!”

He has the nerve to grin at you.

-------

You stare at yourself in the mirror.

Hell, you make a real lady. A grin stretches across your face, and you adjust the hat on your head until it’s angled just right.

Yup. A real lady.

Heh.

No one would know the truth.

You gasp at loud rapping on the bathroom door.

“Out. Now,” Javier barks.

“Fine! Fine!” you grumble, gathering up the last of your newly purchased items into your bag.

“Now, Hermosa.”

Flinging the door wide open, you come nose-to-nose with one angry, glaring Javier.

“Javi,” you bark, “Is this any way to treat your soon-to-be wife?” You smirk, spinning around to show off the dress you chose to wear to the courthouse. “How do I look?”

He just… stares at you, eyes darkening as they sweep down your figure. Taking a languid puff of his cigarette, he angles his head to the side.

“Not my type.”

You huff, sneering up at him. “Well, good! You’re ugly too!” You cross your arms tightly across your chest, scowl deepening. “Let’s get our marriage the hell over with.”

A smirk twitches at the corner of his mouth.

“Let’s go, Hermosa.”

-------

“What a handsome couple!”

“Who? Us?” You raise an eyebrow at the old woman, a court-assigned witness to your vows. “I mean, I think I’m handsome, but Javi?” You sneak a glance over at him, his back facing you, still engrossed in a conversation with the Judge.

You raise an eyebrow. “I mean, he has a nice ass, I guess.”

“W-what?”

“Nothing!”

“Let’s begin, shall we!”

You turn to find the Judge and Javier both watching you- the Judge beaming ear-to-ear.

With a visible exhale of air, Javier lumbers forward, a neutral- almost bored- expression etched on his face. Reaching out, he takes your hand in his.

“Remember my rule,” you hiss under your breath, “when we’re on that train, keep your paws off of me.”

He tilts his head to the side, lowering his brows at you.

“Do not worry yourself.” He pulls you in closer to whisper in your ear, “I only go for handsome women.”

“Fuck you!” you shriek.

…

The Judge and old woman gape at you.

“Uh, um…”

“That’s how she says, ‘I love you,’” Javier mumbles. “Precious, isn’t it?”

The Judge blinks.

…

“…Dearly beloved, we have gathered here-”

“Just the vows.” Javier tightens his grip on your hand. “We’re in a hurry.”

The Judge’s eyes widen further, and he sneaks a glance over at the old lady-

-She has a hand pressed against her mouth.

“….Right. That’s fine. Uh… read the vows aloud then, and we’ll… finish this up.”

The Judge motions at Javier to begin.

"I, Javier Peña,” he rasps, his voice tightening with each word spoken, “take thee to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish-” his hand tightens around your own- “till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge myself to you."

He drops his eyes to the ground- almost… shamefully.

The Judge, still very much perplexed by you both, turns his attention now to you.

Oh.

Damn.

This… is really happening.

…What on Earth are you doing?

"I,” you squeak, barely audible even to your own self, “take thee to be my wedded… husband, to have and to h-hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for… richer, for poorer, in- in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish-” you pause, swallowing back your anxiety. You sneak a glance up into Javier’s eyes- immediately regretting it.

He’s… staring at you.

Just remember- this is for three grand- a new beginning.

This isn’t real-

It… will be annulled.

“Till… death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge myself to… you."

You drop both Javi’s burning gaze and hand as soon as the last word drops from your lips.

“I pronounce you husband and wife!” the Judge chirps. “You may kiss the bride.”

You blink-

Kiss?

You forgot about-

Javier’s lips press gently against your own- he pulls away before you even have a chance to react.

He… kissed you.

“Congratulations, Mrs. Peña!” the old woman smiles, clapping her hands.

Mrs. Peña…

Mr. and Mrs. Peña.

Married…

You’re married.

To Mr. Peña.

…To an idiot.

You- you refuse to look at him.

You… think you’re gunna be sick.

What have you gotten yourself into?

"Enjoy your honeymoon!” the old woman whispers, giving you a quick kiss on your cheek. “Have fun, Mrs. Peña.” She winks.

You crinkle your nose, deciding to have a bit of fun with her- distract yourself from your current mental crisis.

“Oh, no. You think I’d want him touching me?”

…

You grin at the perplexed old woman.

“Thanks for everything, lady!” you giggle.

A large, warm hand encircles your own.

“Come, Hermosa.” Javier’s voice is low, tense. “We cannot miss our train.”

You glance up, meeting the eyes of your husband.

Dark.

Hard.

Unreadable.

He brushes a quick finger along your jawline.

You can only nod.

“Let’s go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

masterlist / next part

taglist: (in the reblog)

a/n: Ahhhh!!! I’ve been working on this one since early December! I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it! It was a nice change of pace from In Fields of White (of which chapter 9 is coming late this week!) PLEASE comment/reblog letting me know what you think! I spent a really long time on this, lol! (Shameless begging, I know.) Thank you so much for reading! Be sure to check it out on Ao3 as well!

[plus-size-reader]

Those Eyes

Bucky Barnes x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1605 words

Warnings: A bit of an AU so keep that in mind

Summary: You knew there was something familiar about the man

——————————————————————————————————

You still had nightmares about the day your parents were murdered.

At the time, you had been a kid, no more than six years old, but you still couldn't get the memory out of your head. You were supposed to go with them, while your older brother Tony stayed behind but they never made it to the Bahamas.

When the car crashed, you had been asleep though you woke rather quickly when the car jolted to a stop.

The events that followed were a blur now, but there was one thing you remembered. There was a man there, a man who you had never been able to forget. When the car slammed into the hill, you slipped down behind your mother's seat, just as your father whispered for you to do.

Looking back, it was clear to you that he knew they were going to die, but he thought perhaps in trying to hide you, you may be spared.

You heard your mother shriek your father's name once or twice as he was struck, then she was killed shortly after. At that age, experiencing a car crash and a double homicide was too much to handle, which resulted in several developmental struggles growing up.

All you remembered was looking up and coming face to face with the man who killed your parents, though most of his face was covered with a dark mask. At this point in your life, you only remembered one thing

...Those blue eyes.

No matter what you did, you couldn't get that image out of your head.

For some reason, you had made it your personal business, even at that time to recall that one thing to memory. It was as if you thought a pair of eyes would be able to help you identify the person who murdered your parents.

Still, as foolish as it seemed, you couldn't help but see them everywhere. When you dreamed, you tried to recall any other details, but all that was left were those eyes.

For the life of you, you couldn't recall anything other than that. Maybe that was the reason you kept it to yourself, when you finally did realize what happened that night, many years later. After you were sure that man had left, you got out of the car and started walking down the road.

It wasn't long before a nice older couple picked you up and drove you to the hospital where you were positively identified and they called your brother, seventeen at the time.

Several people visited for the next few days, asking you questions about what had happened, but you had no idea. Eventually, they concluded it was an fatal car accident and the trauma had just affected you more than anything else.

For a long time after that, you didn't talk to anybody other than Tony at all, and while you'd come a long way since then, the nightmares had yet to stop.

In fact, you managed to do really well for yourself as an adult, using your above average I.Q and inheritance that you inherited to get several degrees in microbiology and chemical science.

He had always had much more of that dramatic flair, while you chose to focus more on the physical mediums and functionality of it all. However, as busy as you were being a creative genius, Tony was quick to bring you in on the Avenger's initiative.

It was just something that seemed so obvious to him.

S.H.I.E.L.D and more specifically, everything that the Avengers stood for had been your father's pet project and was in many ways, his legacy. There was no way he was going to be able to partake in that without his Brainiac little sister.

In general, you kept to yourself, helping out remotely or technically but something like a threat to national security was the kind of thing you had to get in on. There was no way that you were going to be there through facetime and scattered texts.

So, you got a flight.

That was how you met the rest of the Avengers, and in turn, The Winter Soldier.

The first person who greeted you at the door was Pepper, who you had begun to regard as a friend as well as the sister you'd never had. "Hey, you made it" she smiled, reaching you in a huge hug.

You only smiled, setting down your bags to envelop her fully, greeted fully by the smell of her lilac perfume that she wore almost every day. It was the same as every other time you'd been around her, but it felt like home in a lot of ways.

In your life, few things brought you that comfort of home so you took it where you could get it. It was the same feeling you had when you hugged Tony and smelled the mix of expensive cologne and bourbon on him.

That reminded you of your father.

"It was a bit of a flight but I'm glad I got in before midnight" you grinned, separating from her after a few seconds and turning toward the small crowd that had gathered behind her in your greeting.

"Look what the cat dragged in!" you heard, only getting a few seconds warning before your older brother tackled you in an equally huge hug, not even bothering to keep from nearly knocking you off your feet.

He hadn't seen you in months and for the two of you, that was far too long. Growing up, you had been nearly inseparable, even with the age gap between you with Tony practically raising you. In a lot of ways, it felt right to be here again, even with all that had changed.

...Even with that huge group of strangers right behind you.

"Tony, are you going to introduce me to all your friends?" you asked, doing the socially acceptable thing, even though you had read all there was to read about every single person here.

The only complete and total strange was the dark haired man in the back, leaning against the wall. You had no clue who he was, but you thought it best to just wait until he was introduced to you to admit that.

"Everyone, this is my sister. Sister, this is everyone" he winked, earning an eyeroll from you. Of course he wasn't just going to react normally to this sort of situation. He had to make everything so much more difficult than it had to be.

You smiled, an awkward little wave all you could come up with now that the pressure was on. It made you want to crawl into a hole and never leave, but luckily, everyone seemed to be just as gentle as possible.

If nothing else, they respected you.

"You've been studying my DNA, isn't that right?" Steve piped up, thinking back to when Tony had asked him for a blood sample, citing something about his nerdy little sister trying to figure out what made him the way he was.

You nodded, doing your very best to ignore the strangeness of the sentence. It was true that Howard had raised you with a bit of a super soldier obsession and you'd been determined to crack the code to the serum since you were fourteen.

"Yeah, it's a slow process but I'm making progress nonetheless" you allowed, smiling as a way to somehow convey how thankful you were that he allowed such a strange request with minimal judgement.

Someone had come up with a successful serum all those years ago, when the technology was far less advanced, so there was no reason you shouldn't be able to reverse engineer it with your current skill.

It was just going to take time.

"Well, maybe you could take a look at Bucky under a microscope. A second trial couldn't hurt, right?" the blonde suggested then, and as much as you didn't really want to talk to the mystery man in the corner, Steve was right.

More data was always a good thing, and these two men where the only living specimen for your project. If you had a chance to survey him, it would be in your best interest to do so.

"There you go. We'll just keep you busy while you're here so you can't leave" Tony chuckled, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your cheek before heading to the other side of the room, down a long hallway.

At first,  you didn't venture to follow him, assuming he was just going to go get something but that changed rather quickly when he turned back to you.

"Come on, I've been working on a surprise for you"

...And a surprise it was.

You followed your brother down the long hallway to the final door on the end, where you found a huge lab. It was beautiful, and with the mounting promise of more data just on the horizon, you couldn't wait to get to work.

"I'll leave you to it. Love you kid" he hummed, leaving without so much more to you, which left you with the dark haired man. You had yet to get a good look at him yet, intimidated by his hulking, musclebound frame.

It wasn't until you spun around to ask him if he actually wanted to give you a blood sample that you stopped in your tracks, dropping the test tubes you'd been fiddling with to the floor. The glass shattered at your feet immediately but you hardly noticed.

As soon as you turned toward him, you once again came face to face with those blue eyes that haunted you.

[perseusjackson-jasongrace]

Empires on the Horizon XVII

Jason is a CEO: Part XVII

masterlist; my links

we are not big grand gestures,

we are little moments

—strung together

on a polaroid wall—

instances that freeze

in time;

timeless anyway

—badpoetry

[image has alt text]

Helping his friends had never been a difficult choice. Even now, three days into what was supposed to be a relaxing holiday, he didn’t feel anything but the overwhelming urge to “sort it out”. Despite the fact that he hadn’t taken more than a day to himself in three years; despite the fact that he was halfway across the world from his home and the people he loved; despite the fact that it was his ex girlfriend who asked for help; despite, despite, despite, that he had woken up this morning with a man who looked like a god and smelt like cool forests and laughed like he was born with an instrument in his throat, wrapped around him. They were all arms and legs and skin. So much glorious, glowing skin. Brown, golden, freckled, smooth, soft, calloused.

And still all Jason Grace could think was, “I need to help her.”

“Percy,” He whispered, “Angel.” How could he disturb such a creature of peace. It seemed almost immoral.

Long black lashes blinked and fluttered, before blurry green eyes trailed the room lazily landing on him. “Well, if it isn’t a good morning indeed.” His gaze travelled the length of their bodies, drinking in the entanglement of their limbs. That voice was made from rolling hills and crunching gravel.

He couldn’t help the smile that fell to his lips as he watched his friend stare at their bodies. “Pretty isn’t it?”

“Ethereal.”

“I have to get up.”

The pout that greeted him almost crumpled his willpower. “Do you have to?” Green eyes were wide. They looked like emeralds under a microscope. Detailed in their pleading. “I can actually stay in bed today. We can have breakfast together, right here.” A brown hand patted the sheets, right near his own fingers. He felt the heat of their skin but nothing touched him.

“I have to help Zoe.” He wanted to snuggle under the duvet and bury his face in the crook of Percy’s neck. “She needs me.”

“What if I need you?” There was no judgement on that beautiful face, just curiosity and mild concern.

“Do you?” He breathed. His lungs were folding in on themselves.

There were several beats of quiet, filled only by their gentle breathing, and the thundering of his heart.

“No.”

Jason cracked in half. He became the canyon in the desert. He became the earthquake in the house. He became the bridge with no rope. He snapped a million times.

“Oh.” The answer was small, and broken.

“I will love you though.”

The world exploded. Jason saw stars become blackholes. Jason became a new universe entirely.

They looked at each other and suddenly he saw the thousands of lives they had lived. He saw the thousand more they would still live. Most especially he saw the one they were living right then, and it was the most beautiful of all.

“Shall we order breakfast?” It was the only thing he could choke out. He would send Reyna’s number to Zoe. They could sort it out. He was here. He wanted to sort himself out.

The beam that graced his friend’s face was worth every screaming thought in his mind that riddled him with guilt.

They both got up to freshen up before diving back into bed, shoulders brushing as they scrolled through their phones and let the sound of a peaceful morning wash over them.

He had thought it would be at least a little weird to be sleeping next to a man he only knew for a year but it felt like some part of him had been comfortable with Percy since the day they were born. Everything was easy: from the way they sat, fitting besides each other, gravitating towards each other; to the things they talked about; every silent question had an answer, every story had shared feelings. Jason knew he wouldn’t fall in love; he would stroll towards it, confident, assured, and excited for the moments to come. He would not look back, not even once.

Breakfast came in a flurry of silver trays and mouth watering smells. They pounced on it as soon as the door shut. Croissants, and pastries, and fruit, and yoghurts. It was a feast that could carry them through the next week. He should have known Percy would order the entire menu.

“Strawberry my good sir?” A brown hand waved near his face, offering him the bright red fruit.

Jason opened his mouth, closing his teeth around the berry which burst with sweetness in his mouth. He couldn’t stop the hum of appreciation that vibrated his throat. The sparkle in those green eyes made him wonder if he should keep making those sounds.

“Are you back at the labs today?” He asked around a croissant, distracting his unsavoury thoughts.

“For a little, and then i have an onsite meeting with the coastal guards and lighthouse keepers.”

“Oh are they a big part of your job?”

He hummed “They know the area and the patterns of the sea better than anyone.”

There was a light in his eyes that made Jason wonder if he ever looked as full of joy when he was talking about his own work. His friend pulled him out of his thoughts with another fruit offering, mango this time.

“I don’t want to talk about work,” He frowned contemplatively. It was rather unfair that even with a crease between his brow, and his mouth quirked Percy still seemed to look like a model, or a god, or something from a Studio Ghibli piece. “Tell me your happiest memory from the last year.”

He leaned back against the headboard, closing his eyes as he lost himself to the time reel of the year. It felt both a thousand lifetimes ago and one second from now. “I can’t choose just one.” His eyes are glittering with life past. He refuses to let memories fall down his cheeks.

“Choose three, choose five, tell me everything if you want.” Percy’s voice was a rope over the mountain. He was reaching for it even as he fell.

“The dinner we shared at the university.” He starts. One hand caught the rope.

“The day we met huh?”

“The morning Zoe pitched up at my house and made me late for work.” The ground was so close, and he was still falling.

Percy laughed at the implications hidden in his answer.

“When we danced at the club, I’ve never felt so alive in my life.”

He heard the soft intake from his friend, surprise and… something else coating their thoughts.

The rope was strong under his fingers and he was pulling himself up with ease. When he opened his eyes again, it was to find green ones staring directly at him.

“Do you ever wonder what could have happened if time had slowed down even a fraction of a second the night we met?” The question had sat on his tongue like salt, cutting his tastebuds.

“I’d drive myself insane thinking about all the ways we could have been.” Percy said lowly “I prefer,” He swallowed thickly. Jason wanted to trace the bob of that throat with his tongue. “I prefer to think about all we can do now, now that we can.”

“I think I’ll die if you break my heart.” The fear crystallized him like sugar in a cooling pan. It was the one bridge he still wavered on.

The black-haired man took his hand, fingers cold and warm, and gentle. With a softness that bowed his fear Percy placed Jason’s hand on his chest. His heart was steady, thumping under his palm. He felt the assurance of comfort against his skin. He felt at ease.

“This will belong to you one day,” His friend said quietly, “And when it does it will be fully and completely and without restraint.”

He couldn’t say anything, he couldn’t even breathe. All he could do was feel that constant beating heart, and the warmth of a chest, and the glimmer of emerald eyes, and the first blooms of a new beginning.

“I cannot break your heart Jason Grace,” Percy brushed a thumb across his cheek, “Because I will be breaking mine, and my days of self-destruction are long behind me.”

He melted into being and couldn’t help the sigh of happiness that escaped him. If he did nothing else in life, at least he had had this. These quiet minutes that enveloped every fear in a rose scented bag and let the wind take it away. Far, far away.

“Okay.” He finally rasped. His voice was lost to the sea.

Soon after that Percy had to go to work which left him to laze around in their room and snack on the breakfast feast and doze in the warmth of the sun. He didn’t even bother to put on his robe, preferring to feel the rays against his skin, save for the rectangle of boxers he slept in. 

Some part of him wanted to get out and do something but it was quickly squished down by every other part of him that just couldn't do it any longer. Couldn't keep him moving and functioning and thinking.

He summoned up the last bit of energy he could muster and called his lawyer.

“Jason, babe.” Her strong, husky voice ran clear through his speaker, “What can i do for you?”

“Hello Arellano,” He couldn’t help but smile at the familiarity of her. So straight to the point, no nonsense, full of energy. “It’s not actually me that needs your help it’s Zoe.”

“Heavens Grace,” He heard the sigh building in her voice. “I mean I loved her as much as the next and I was sorry to hear you guys had broken up but seriously man how are you helping an ex… again?”

He winced, flashbacks of Luke calling on him again and again even after they had parted screaming through his mind. “I’m not technically helping, I’m just sort of recruiting you to help?”

“What sort of trouble is she in?”

“Her father is forcing her to marry an absolute scumbag of a man.” He scrubbed a hand down his face, “You remember the potential business investor, Octavian?”

“Oh gods,” Reyna groaned, and he couldn't help but share in her sentiment. 

“Yea.” He pulled a face. “Is there anyway you can get her out of this mess and help her with protective immunity or whatever?”

“I’m gonna have to pull some strings and get digging into some seriously shady shit but I think I can.” He heard the grimace in her voice but there was not a trace of reluctance or potential regret. 

“You are incredible!” His sigh of relief was audible enough for the birds outside to imitate it. “I’ll send you her number, and just bill everything to me.”

“You sure?”

“It’s the only way I can help so I will.”

“Then let me get to it.” And then she was gone, already starting the next project.

It’s no wonder they were friends. A bunch of workaholics.

His final call was to Thalia, in which they had a fun little chat that ended with confirmation that Bianca Di Angelo would be paying both Octavian, and Zoe’s father a visit that may or may not result in sudden disappearances and two new people cropping up in another country.

After the morning of maneuvering he couldn't even bear to move from his bed. So he didn't. He wondered if this was what a cat felt like, and then decided it wasn’t possible simply because even cats did more than he had done.

By the time Percy got home, he had showered and was already mostly asleep. Moonlight bathed their bed, the curtains rustled softly, he smelt the sea. The bed dipped just as he drifted off to sleep. 

He didn’t hear the whispered, “Goodnight, my love.” that caught in the blossoms by their nightstands. He didn’t feel the gentle brush of fingers against his cheek. All he felt was peace. His dreams were sweet that night.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tags (if you want to be added/taken off the tag list just let me know. All my channels of communication are open):

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@leyontheway​​

@queen-of-demons-and-hell​​

@msdrpreist​​​

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@larrikin-is-a-himbo​

[chickensarentcheap]

Never Gonna Be Alone -Chapter 26

Title: Preparations

Warning:  it’s filler.  I figured we needed some cute daddy Tyler. lol

Tagging:  @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @alievans007​, @miss-smutty​, @tragiclyhip​

“When you met mumma, you guys were working together, right?”

Addie poses the question as she sits atop the kitchen island; legs swinging back and forth as they dangle over the edge, the heels of silver and gold glitter infused jelly sandals lightly thumping against the wood. She insisted on bringing one of her favourite pairs of shoes from home; arguing that she didn’t care that they were ‘out of season’ and that she would wear what she wants, when she wants, and no one could tell her otherwise. In the end they’d gone perfectly with the new ‘Christmas’ dress she’d picked out Bloomingdales; a vibrant yellow concoction with capped sleeves embellished with strips of lace, a sash around the waist that ties in an enormous bow at the back, and an elaborate tulle skirt several layers thick that shimmers in the light. Forgoing all the burgundy, emerald green, and red dresses that had lined the regular priced racks in favour of an outfit from the leftover and highly discounted summer section. It was a hill Esme hadn't been willing to die on; preferring that Addie showcase both her independence in choosing her own outfit, and being proud of her personal style and preferences. And it suits her; as bright and adorable as her personality with just enough ‘no fucks given’ sprinkled on for good measure.

While tiny and seemingly fragile, she can be extremely assertive and adverse to any form of compromise; tenacious to a fault and digging her heels in and sticking to her guns when she feels she’s one hundred right about her stance. Even if there’s mountains of proof to show that she is, in fact, completely wrong. Someone so stubborn and feisty lingering inside that cute, wee package; able to hold her own while out playing with her older siblings and not afraid to get a bloody nose or a fat lip or a black eye. And not deterred in the slightest when she DOES get injured; right back to what she was doing only hours after getting stitches or a cast removed. Not shying away from climbing trees or splashing in mud puddles or helping muck out the goats stalls while wearing clunky rubber boots paired with a Disney princess dress. Very much like her older sister had been at that age; enjoying being physical and active and playing sports and rough housing one minute, then showcasing her more ‘girly side’ the next. Loving trips to the salon with mummy for manis and pedis; enjoying picking her own shade of polish and then getting to sip orange juice from a champagne glass while getting a facial and her hair trimmed. Collecting dolls along with various rocks and shells and beach glass. Superhero figures taking up residence on her bedroom shelves right alongside stuffies of her favourite animals -koalas, sloths, and kangaroos currently at the top of the list- and snow globes from different parts of the world. Her closet filled with not only frilly dresses and sparkly leggings and colourful sweaters emblazoned with unicorns and french bulldogs and flamingos, but old hand me downs from her brothers; ripped and faded jeans and tattered t-shirts and board shorts.

“Right,” Tyler confirms, as he tends to running a brush through her waist length hair; damp from misting it down with a spray bottle in order to easier part it into sections.

It’s a far cry from his old life; his beaten and busted up hands with their multitude of scars and calluses once used to being soaked in blood and caked with dirt. Large and weathered with misshapen knuckles, they’d long ago gotten accustomed to hard, manual labour and the brutality that he’d had to inflict on others; fists that pummelled bodies and faces and fingers that pulled triggers and wrapped around throats and choked the life out of combatants. And while they still get caked in mud from working around the house and they’re still entrusted to load magazines and are capable of taking a gun apart in thirteen seconds flat, they’ve morphed into other uses. Beginning with diapering babies and tending to the impossibly tiny snaps on jumpers, buttons on little sweaters, and zippers on sleepers. Moving on to tying kid sized shoe laces and cleaning and patching up skinned knees and elbows. Advancing to far more difficult hair styling techniques than the simple ponytails he’d began affixing on Millie when she was a toddler; various styles of braids adorned with ribbons, and snapping barrettes and clamping clips into place.

Being a girl dad is unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. The six short years -despite the little time he’d actually been home- he’d spent with Austin had prepared him for raising boys. His son, when healthy, had been extremely active and fearless and full of curiosity and energy; getting as messy and as dirty as possible and loving every second of it. Obsessed with superheroes and sports and always clad in clothing that displayed his favourites; football jerseys and baseball caps and sweats emblazoned with Superman or Batman logos. He had been terrified twelve years ago when the news had come in that Millie was in fact going to be a girl; not only envisioning frilly dresses and a closet full of pink and those ridiculous headbands parents insist on putting on their infants, but thinking back to his own treatment of women. The days when he’d used them for nothing more than sex; random strangers picked up in bars or that he’d meet on the street in whatever city a job sent him to. A failed marriage; putting more of a priority on the military than he did on treating his wife properly. And all he could think about was how having a daughter was somehow a punishment for the bad shit he’d done. A little girl that he’d have to protect from guys like him.

It was hard to get used to; big fingers having to master putting in tiny earrings and tending to impossibly small zippers and buttons , getting comfortable with the amount of pink and purple in their rooms and closets. Eventually graduating into attending tea parties and playing with Barbies and helping make crafts; getting used to paint on his palms and between his fingers and glitter stuck under his nails and in his hair and beard. Determined to be a hands-on father even if its activities are way outside of his comfort zone; gymnastic meets and dance recitals as opposed to lacrosse matches and football games. Being a girl dad isn’t for the weak; having to worry about your little girls’ hearts being broken and if the guys they pick will treat them right and if they themselves will make smart and responsible choices as teenagers. And the hormones; the up and down emotions and the drastic switch from bitchy to overly sensitive. Having a wife go through it once a month is enough. never mind the thought of three other girls. The worry of how he’ll handle not only the emergence of puberty, but if all four female ‘clocks’ decide to sync up. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to handle THAT; all the women in his life going through the cramps and the moodiness and the demands to be coddled and babied one minute and left the fuck alone the next.

“Does that mean mummy beat up and killed bad guys too?”

“No. She never did any of that stuff. That was my job, not hers.”

“What did she do?”

“She tracked down the bad guys. And where they were doing mean things to good people. Then she told me...or guys like me...where they were so we could go and take care of things.”

“So you could go and kill them?”

“You don’t always have to kill people. Sometimes it’s enough to just rough them up a bit.”

“And other times they fight back and try to hurt you and you have to hurt them first?”

“Pretty much.”

“Have you killed a lot of people?”

“Not that many," he lies. It's actually a staggering amount; the death toll -from his hand alone- in Dhaka putting the count well over three hundred.

“How many is ‘not that many'?’”

“I don’t know, Peanut. I’ve never kept track.”

“But you’ve helped more people than you’ve hurt. That’s what mummy said when I asked if it was true. If Tyler was lying when he told me you kill people for a living.”

“That’s a while ago. That you asked mummy that.”

“I was three. That’s a whole two years ago. But sometimes I think about it. Especially when you go away. I think about you having to kill people.”

“And what do you think WHEN you think about that? About what I sometimes have to do?”

“I dunno know,” Addie shrugs, and then lifts the spray bottle clutched in both hands and holds it towards her face; giggling when she pulls the trigger and catches some of the mist in her mouth.

“Does it bother you? When you think about it? That I’ve killed people? That sometimes I still have to?”

“Why would it bother me?”

“Kind of a hard thing to hear, don’t you think? That daddy has to do stuff like that?”

“It’s your job. It’s what you do. You have to hurt people to save other people. And sometimes, if they try and hurt you first, you have to kill them. Because if you didn’t, they might kill you and then you never come home and we never get to see you again. It’s not THAT hard to hear. I’d rather you kill someone and come home than never see you again.”

“You know,” he plucks the spray bottle from her hands and dampens a section of hair. “You’re pretty smart for only five.”

“Smart like mummy.”

He leans in to press a kiss to her cheek. “Cute like her too.”

“Are you going to get in trouble? For killing people?”

“Who would I get in trouble with?”

“God. Isn’t that one of the things we’re not supposed to do? Kill people?”

“How do you know about that? We don’t talk about that stuff at home.”

“I hear things. At school. Some of the older kids talking. Are you? Going to get in trouble? For killing people?”

“Probably,” he admits. “I’m sure I’ll face some kind of judgement for it. When my time comes.”

“But wouldn’t it be okay ‘cause you only kill bad people? That were hurting good people? Wouldn’t that be allowed? And if you had to kill someone so you could come home to us, wouldn’t that be okay too?”

“I don’t know,” he snags a yellow cloth ribbon off the island and begins braiding a section of hair around it. “I’ve never thought that far ahead about things.”

“It would suck if you got in trouble for helping people. That wouldn’t be fair at all. If you got sent to hell for doing stuff like that. I mean, you were doing something GOOD. You weren’t doing something bad. You HAD to kill evil people to help good people. And to make sure you come home to mummy and us kids. I can’t see you getting in trouble for something like THAT.”

“Doesn’t make much sense to me either. But not a lot does anymore.”

“I’ll be really mad if you get in trouble and sent somewhere different than me. I don’t want us to be in two separate places. I want us to be together. All of us. You and mummy and all us kids. I don’t want us to all be separated. Well, maybe Millie could be. Because she’s mean to me. All the time.”

“Millie is going through some stuff. She’s going to be a teenager soon. A lot of drama leading up to THAT.”

“She says I’m annoying. That she used to really like me when I was a baby and couldn’t do anything. But now I can do lots of stuff and I can talk and she says that pisses her off. That I’m a bratty little sister.”

“You are NOT bratty.”

“Right? That’s what I said. She’s bratty if anything. Am I annoying, daddy? Don’t lie. You can tell me the truth.”

“You are not annoying. If anyone is annoying, it’s Millie.”

“I said THAT too! But she’s mean. She even threatened to cut my hair off. Shave it. Because I couldn’t find my brush and I borrowed hers and she didn’t like that. So you know what I did? While you were gone?”

“What did you do?”

“I took the tops off two Oreo cookies and I ate the middle and then I put in mayonnaise and I put the tops back on and gave them to Millie. I told her I was being a good little sister and bringing her a snack. And she put a whole one in her mouth! She almost puked!”

He can’t help but chuckle. “You actually did that?”

“Yup. It was awesome. I laughed so hard, I almost peed! But then she started chasing me around the house threatening to kill me. Mummy was screaming at her to lighten up, that it was just a joke. And then she told mummy to shut up and Tyler got mad. REALLY mad. He tackled Millie and grabbed her by the hair and pushed her face into the carpet. Then he put her in a figure four leg lock and made her cry.”

“Millie told your mom to shut up?”

“Oooops…” Addie tilts her head back to look at him, a sheepish smile curving her lips. “....I wasn’t supposed to tell you that part.”

“Who told you not to tell me? Millie?”

The five year old shakes her head.

“TJ?”

Another shake, followed by a tiny “No.”

“Addie…”

“It was mummy! She said not to tell you because you’d get pissed off and you didn’t need to. Because she took care of it right when it happened. Well, Tyler did. He was really, really, REALLY mad. She learned her lesson. I’m sure of it. He made her cry. Lots.”

“Did that happen a lot? Millie getting mouthy with your mom?”

“Not really.”

He stares pointedly down at her.

“A few times,” she reluctantly admits. “She said some things that were really mean. To mummy. And she said the F word once, too. Mixed with the B word.”

“She said that ? To your mom?”

Addie chews nervously on her bottom lip. “Yeah, she called her an f-ing B word.”

“What did mummy do?”

“She didn’t get a chance to do anything. Desi freaked out. And he’s really big and he can be really scary when he wants. Like you. Desi told her that she should never, ever talk to her mum like that. And that you’d be really mad if you found out. And that she’d rather deal with him than you. Which is true. Desi might be bigger than you, but you’re definitely tougher. I mean, he doesn’t kill people for a living. You do.”

“Things were pretty bad, huh? While I was gone.”

“A little. Millie went off the reservation. Big time. She’s lucky she’s even breathing. ‘Cause Tyler was ready to kill her. And I don’t blame him. You’re mad, aren’t you. Are you mad, daddy?”

“A bit.”

“You know how I can tell? That you’re mad? Your neck moves. Right here,” she reaches up to press to fingertips against the side of his throat. “Where the bad guy shot you a long time ago.”

“How did you know about that?”

“Mummy told me. I asked her how you got that scar. She said that a long time ago, her and Ovi were in trouble and you had to get them out of a really bad place. And then you made sure they were safe and sound, but a bad guy shot you. In the neck. And that’s why you have the scar there.”

“Did that scare you? Hearing that?”

“A little, I guess. I mean, you could have died, right?”

“I could have, yeah.”

“And then you and mummy never would have gotten married. And had kids. Millie would be the only one to exist. None of us would. So yeah, that part scared me a bit; that the bad guy could have killed and none of us ever would have been born. Did you kill him?”

“Eventually.”

“Mummy said she stayed with you. After it happened. And that she went back to Australia with you and that’s how she ended up there. It’s where you guys got married. And had Millie and me and Kota and Brookie. That we were the ones born there. So we’re REAL Australians, like you. Everyone else is American.”

“Everyone else WAS American. You’re all Australian now.”

“How does that work?”

“A lot of papers you have to fill out. To become a citizen. But you all are. Mummy and I made sure of it.”

“Is mummy an Australian too?”

“By marriage, yeah.”

“It’s a good thing she married you. You’re a lucky guy, daddy. That someone like mummy fell in love with you.”

“I am,” he confirms. “Very lucky. She’s a pretty good mummy, huh?”

“She’s the best mummy EVER. If we could pick our mummies, I’d pick her. Because she’s nice and she gives good cuddles and kisses and she tells the best silly jokes. And she’s super smart and really cute too. And little! Like me!”

“That’s where you get from. Being so cute and wee. You’re just like your mumma.”

Her eyes sparkle as she smiles broadly up at him; the corners and the bridge of her nose crinkle. “And that’s a good thing, yeah?”

“A very good thing,” Dropping a kiss on her forehead, he brushes the tip of his nose against hers; smiling at the way she throws her head back and giggles.

He’s seen her mother do that exact movement and expression a number of times; excitement while on the rides at Disney World with the kids, when she’s had one too many glasses of wine and even his terrible ‘dad jokes’ are suddenly hilarious, when they’ve been on one of their ‘mommy and daddy’ vacations and she’s gotten up the guts to try something new and exciting; emboldened by his encouragement and forever feeling safe and secure as long as he’s by her side. So much of Esme in the tiny little girl in front of him; tenacious and ferociously intelligent and loving deeply and fearlessly. Knowing the darkness and the horrors that exist in the world but not allowing herself to be tarnished by it; always finding ways to smile and laugh and find the beauty in every day.

“What do you think mummy would have done if she didn’t do the job she did?” Addie inquires, when she finally drops her head back down and he’s able to return to tending her hair.

“I don’t know. Teach? Be a nurse? Maybe a doctor?”

“How would you have met her? If she didn’t do her old job?”

“Maybe I would have met her on the beach. In Australia. Maybe she would have come there on a vacation.”

“Maybe. Or maybe you would have gone to where she used to live. In Chicago.”

“She used to live in Colorado. That’s where she was born and where she grew up. Chicago is a totally different place.”

“She used to live by the mountains. When I was in her tummy, you guys lived on a hobby farm. And you had goats and chickens. Mummy says we still own that house.”

“Yup, we do. We rent it out.”

“Can we go there one day? I’d like to see it. I’d like to see where you guys were living when I was in mummy’s belly. Is that where I was made?”

“We’re pretty sure that’s where it happened. Not many other places it could have been.”

“Maybe we can go and visit. And I can see where I was made. That would be fun. I want to see the mountains.”

“Maybe one day.” He finishes up the first braided pigtail, securing it with an impossibly small elastic before turning his attention to the other section of hair.

“If you met mummy a different way, would you have still liked her? Would you have still fallen in love with her?”

“Yup. Why wouldn’t have I? She still would have been mummy. She still would have been the same person. Still would have been the most beautiful girl ever.”

“Do you think she still would have fallen in love with you?”

“I sure as hell hope so. Would sure suck if she didn’t. Your mumma is pretty special, Peanut. She’s the love of my life. Took me until I was thirty five to meet her.”

“You were married before, though. To Austin's mom. You didn’t love her?”

“I did. But not in the way I love your mum. Your mum? That’s who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Grow really, really, REALLY old with. It’s a whole other kind of love. And you know what? It’s not easy to explain. You just know what you feel.”

“Imagine if things were opposite? If you went to Colorado and met mummy instead of her meeting you in Australia and working with you? And then you would have stayed there; where the snow and the mountains are instead of the beach and the ocean. How come you moved? Why didn’t you guys stay? Where the mountains are?”

“Things changed. We weren’t happy there anymore. We needed to get away. Go back to the place where we were the happiest.”

“In Australia?”

“Yup.”

“That’s where I’m happiest too. I love it there. I love how warm it is; the sun and the sand and the water. I like the sound it makes; listening to it when I’m trying to fall asleep. And I like how the beach feels; between my toes and when I let it run through my fingers. And I love my room and my toys and my school and my friends and all the goats and our pigs and our chickens. And Charlie. I love him the most. I love making him peanut butter sandwiches. I’d miss him the most. If we had to leave. We won’t have to leave will we, daddy?”

“I don’t see why we would have to.”

“I don’t ever want to leave Australia. It’s perfect there. It’s where I was born. And where you were born too. We have that in common. We were BOTH born there.”

“Yeah…” he grins, and presses a kiss to the back of her head. “...we were.”

“I mean, we have other stuff in common too. Because you’re my dad and that means you helped make me so that means half of me is half of you. The other half is from mummy. And we both love surfing. And animals. And Vegemite. I LOVE Vegemite. It’s sooooo good.”

“Speaking of Vegemite, was it you that left the Vegemite and Nutella sandwich for Santa?”

Addie giggles. “Maybe…”

“Why would you ever put the two of those together?”

“Tyler made it for his school lunch once and he let me try a bit and it was really good! So I thought Santa might like to try it. Part American, part Australian.”

“You know, that’s pretty genius. And it worked. I tried a bit and it wasn’t bad.”

“Right?! You wouldn’t think it would work, but it does. Somehow. Kind of like you and mummy.”

“What’s THAT supposed to mean?”

“You and mummy are so different. You’re really tall and big and she’s really short and small. Like, you know how mummy is a morning person? She’s always really cheerful and smiley? And you’re not? You’re moody and miserable. A total grump face! And you don’t like to talk until you’ve had your first coffee. With three shots of espresso in it.”

“You notice all that stuff?”

“I notice everything. Mummy says I’m very observant. And that I have really good instincts. Like you. She says ‘cause my tummy tells me if something is right or wrong. And yours does too. You know how else you and mummy are different?”

“How?”

“Mummy talks to everyone! She’s very talky talky. A chatterbox.”

“Geez,” Tyler grins, and tugs playfully at the completed pigtail. “I wonder who ELSE is a chatterbox?”

“She’s a social butterfly. She makes friends everywhere she goes. People like her. Because she’s so bubbly and cute and she makes peoples hearts feel warm because she’s so nice to them. You’re more serious. You don’t talk a lot. At least not to people you don’t know. People are scared of you sometimes. Because how big you are and because you got all the drawings on you and the scars and stuff. They think you’re mean. ‘Cause of all that.”

“And what do you think?”

“I think you’re just daddy. I KNOW you’re not mean. I KNOW you’re a nice guy. I KNOW you give awesome hugs; your arms are big but they feel nice and they wrap all the way around me! If people really paid attention, they’d see that you’re nice. You have soft eyes. They’re blue and they’re pretty and they’re kind. Especially when you smile and they go all crinkly. If people really gave you a chance, they’d see you’re not scary at all. You’re only like that if you HAVE to be. If bad people are near mummy or us kids.”

“Are you ever scared of me?” It’s a recurring thought; if his children ever pick up on the worry and the tension and the fear that comes with his issues. It’s a feat some days; forcing himself out of bed and putting one foot in front of the other. Wanting nothing more than to stay under the covers and surrender to the exhaustion that comes with doing battle with his own mind every day. But his family is his number one priority, whether it’s a good day or a horrible one. And he’ll ‘fake it until he makes it’ as long as his children and his wife know that they’re loved; provided and cared for and made to feel safe and protected.

“Why would I be? Why would I be scared of my daddy?”

“Well, you know what I do for a living. You know what I’ve had to do to people. Does that scare you?”

“Nope. Because that’s just your job. It’s not who you are. When you come home, you’re just daddy. You take us bike riding and hiking and swimming and surfing. And you help us find rocks and shells and you let me sit on your shoulders when we walk on the beach or go into town. And we take naps. On the hammock. I love our naps on the hammock.”

He smiles. “So do I.”

“Sometimes I get a little worried. When you get upset. Or you and mummy argue. I don’t like when you guys argue. I always worry that you’ll hate each other. That you’ll get a divorce. And then you won’t live with us. It makes me sad when I think about that.”

“You don’t need to be sad, Peanut. That’s never going to happen. I’m never going to go and live somewhere else. I’m going to stay right where I am; with you guys and your mumma. And just because we argue? That doesn’t mean we’re going to hate each other. I could NEVER hate your mum. And I’m pretty sure she’d say the same thing about me. We love each other. Very much. Divorce is NOT something you need to think about. But do I ever scare you? Have I ever?”

“I don’t have a reason to be scared of you. Because you love me. You’d never hurt me. I never worry about that. Not even when you yell and your voice gets REALLY loud. I know you’d never do anything mean to me. Just to bad people. And I’m not a person. I’m a GOOD person.”

“You definitely are. You’re a VERY good person. An amazing little person.”

She smiles. “Like mummy.”

“Just like her. More than even I ever realized.”

******

“Addie…” TJ singsongs as he saunters into the kitchen, both hands tucked behind his back. “...what are you doing?”

“Tyler!” She cheerfully greets, and excitedly waves to him with both hands. Her entire face lighting up at the sight of her second favourite male in the house

She’s become extremely close to her oldest brother during her five years on earth; idolizing him and turning to him for help and comfort when daddy is either caught up with one of the other kids, tending to work related matters, or out of the house -and sometimes even the country- all together. And TJ dotes on her in return. Spoiling her and babying her ever since she was an infant and he was always more than willing to help change her diapers and give her feedings. In awe of how tiny she was and how she’d look up at him with so much adoration. He’s the quintessential older brother; patient and loving and ready to kick anyone’s ass that dares messes with her.

“Look at my dress! It’s the one I picked out when I went shopping for mommy. That I kept a secret. Isn’t it awesome?”

“Awesome just like you. It’s really pretty, Ads. Your favourite colour too!”

“Yup! Mummy bought it for me. She said it’s perfect for me. For my personality. It reminds me of Belle’s dress. From Beauty and the Beast.”

“Looks a little like it, I guess. But you know what? It’s even prettier. And you’re more beautiful than Belle. WAY more beautiful.”

“Really?” she gasps, and a noticeable blush creeps into her cheeks, spreading all the way to the tips of her ears. “You really think so?”

“I REALLY think so. Belle has nothing on you. You’re the prettiest princess EVER. Way prettier than ANY of them.”

“Oh goodness!” She clamps both hands over her mouth in embarrassment, then giggles into them. “Like mumma? Just as pretty as her? Mumma is the prettiest EVER.”

“Just a smaller version of her.” TJ leans in close and presses the tip of his nose against hers. “Guess what I have? What you forgot in my room?”

“Adeline!” she cries, when he reveals the item he’d been keeping behind his back. And she snags the doll from him and showers its head and face with kisses as she clutches it tightly to her chest. “Adeline! I’m sorry I forgot you! I didn’t mean to!”

“I kept her safe for you,” TJ says. “So Declan wouldn’t grab her. You know how he likes to get a hold of dolls and torture them. I didn’t want him getting her. She’s way too pretty and I know how much you love her.”

“He’s mean to my dolls! He’s always taking their heads off and putting their arms where their legs should be and crazy shit like that.”

“Hey,” Tyler frowns, and tugs on the half braided pigtail. “What did I say?”

“No bad language. Especially on Christmas Day. I can’t help it though; sometimes it just slips out. If you didn’t swear so much around us kids…”

“That’s it. Throw me under the bus.”

“You swear A LOT, daddy. Especially in the car. When other people don’t drive fast enough or use their blinkers. If mummy knew exactly how much you DO swear around us, she’d be mad. REALLY mad.”

“Your mum has a worse mouth than I do.”

“As if!” Addie scoffs, and he can’t help but smile; easily hearing Esme’s voice and picturing the expression on her face; the corner up her mouth and her nose scrunched up in disgust, eyes slightly narrowed. “Thank you, Tyler!” She curls an arm around her brother’s neck, squeezing as tight as she can. “You’re the best! Thank you for keeping her safe from the Ginger. You’re the best brother EVER! I only trust you with her. And daddy. That’s it. You guys are big and strong and will keep her safe no matter what.”

“What the hell are you wearing?” He addresses his son as the latter moves to the fridge, pausing in the braiding of Addie’s hair to survey TJ’s wardrobe a pair of ill fitting and impossibly baggy jeans, an enormous untucked dress shirt with its sleeves rolled to his elbows, and a loose pink, purple, and grey striped tie.

“Your pants. And one of your shirts.” TJ reaches into the fridge and grabs a carton of chocolate milk and a jug of white. Closing the door with his hip and carrying them to the counter by the sink; pouring a mix of both into a plastic tumblr retrieved from the dish rack and then snagging two straws from the cupboard. “Mum told me to. She said none of my clothes were good enough for Christmas dinner. All my jeans have holes in them and all t-shirts have to do with surfing. We’ve never had to dress up for Christmas dinner before. Why do we have to start now?”

“Your mum’s trying to make things perfect. To avoid drama. With your grandmother.”

“Too late. Grandma brings drama with her. And drops it on everyone else.” He drags a bar stool across the floor and places it in front of his little sister. “Here Ads,” he holds the cup in front of her. “A yellow straw just for you. So you don’t have to share my germs. Let me hold it; so you don’t spill anything on your dress.”

Giving a delighted squeal and a smile of appreciation, she takes a pull from the straw. “I think you look handsome, Tyler. You’re growing up. You’re going to be as big as daddy soon.”

“It’s going to be a while before I’m THAT big. But I’m going to work on it. As soon as I’m allowed, I’m going to lift heavy too and put on ALL kinds of muscle.”

“Then you can go after bad people too. And beat them up and kill them when you have to.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Tyler suggests. “Something tells me mummy might have an issue with that.”

“Why doesn’t mum just tell grandma to get lost?” TJ inquires. “It’s not like they like each other. They never have. They’ve always fought. I remember how they’d get into it at Christmas. When we were still living in Colorado. Grandma would get drunk and she’d pick fights with mum and mum would fight back and cry and then you’d go off on grandma. Is that going to happen this year? ‘Cause it’s been nice and quiet at Christmas. Do we HAVE to listen to grandma's shit?”

“What did I just tell your sister? About the language?”

“She’s five, but she’s right. It IS hard to stop and it does just come out. But do we, dad? Do we really have to put up with her?”

“It’s one night. I think you can manage. If I can grin and bear it, so can you. Suck it up.”

“If she starts in on mum about ANYTHING, I’m going to lose it. That’s my mum. No one talks to my mum like that. I almost taught Jacobi a lesson. For calling mum cute and wanting to ask her out. I’ll teach grandma a lesson too. I’m not afraid of her.”

“If anyone is going to teach her a lesson, it’s going to be me. You stay out of it. Your mum wouldn’t want you getting into it with her. You’re TEN.”

“Doesn’t matter how old I am. That’s MY mum. And no one is going to treat her bad. We’re supposed to protect her, remember? You and I.”

“You’re supposed to be a kid and stay that way as long as you can. I’M supposed to protect your mom. And I think I’ve been pretty damn good at it for the last twelve and a half years. And if your grandma starts? I’ll stop it. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Why does she hate you so much anyway? Is it still the same crap? How she’s pissed because you stole mum away from her family and moved her all the way to Australia? ‘Cause you got her pregnant before you married her?”

Addie scowls. “Who cares? Lots of people have babies and they aren’t married. And so what if mummy didn’t go back home and she stayed with daddy? She’s an adult. She can do what she wants. And she wanted to be with daddy. None of grandma’s business. I’mma tell her that too. If she starts saying mean things about daddy or mummy. I’mma tell her what for.”

“You’re not going to do a thing,” Tyler informs her. “You’re going to leave all the telling off to me, got it?”

“I don’t like her,” Addie says. “She’s not a nice person. She has a mean smile. And her eyes are empty. They don’t sparkle or anything like that. Are you sure that’s mummy’s mummy? Because when mummy smiles, her eyes sparkle. She LOOKS happy. Grandma? She just looks mean.”

“No one likes her,” TJ grumbles. “Best thing we ever did was get away from her. But IS that why, dad? Is that really why she doesn’t like you? Because she still thinks you stole mum and took her all the way to Australia?”

“It’s a few things.”

“I bet it’s the job too. I bet she really has a problem with THAT.”

“Again…” Addie huffs dramatically. “...who cares? So what if daddy kills people? They’re BAD. They deserve it. He helps good people and sometimes when he’s helping them, he has to kill the bad guys. I don’t see a problem with that. If they try and hurt him or kill him, he HAS to kill them first. So he can come home. To us. And mummy. It only makes sense.”

“If Ads can get it, ANYONE can,” TJ says. “She’s only five. What’s grandma? A hundred? If a five year old can get it…”

“Daddy makes the world a better place because he gets rid of the bad people,” Addie continues, as she takes another sip of the drink her brother offers her. “If we had less bad people, everything would be great. There’d be less wars and less people getting hurt and everyone would love one another and be happy. Daddy’s doing a good thing. By sticking up for people. Like you do. At school. You beat up the bullies when you have to. Remember the older kid that tripped me and shoved my face in the mud? Remember him? He’s in grade eight AND you kicked the crap out of me. Because he picked on me.”

“You’re my sister. It’s my job to protect you.”

“And remember that other guy? On the playground by mummy’s store? The one that pulled my hair and told me I was adopted because I’m small and I don’t look like any of you guys. You freaked out on him and made him apologize and scared him away. He’ll cross the street now if he sees you coming.”

“You can’t let bad people get away with doing bad things,” TJ reasons. “If you don’t stop them, they’ll just keep doing bad stuff.”

“Exactly! So it’s a good thing that daddy goes after the bad guys. Grandma needs to learn. And she needs to learn TODAY. You should tell her, Tyler. You should tell her off. You’re not scared of anyone.”

“Not being scared of anyone or anything is not always a good thing,” Tyler informs her. “If you’re not scared, you don’t take a situation or people seriously. That’s when you get hurt. And you know what? No matter how big of a bad ass you think you are? There’s always a bigger one out there somewhere. Believe me. I’ve learned THAT lesson the hard way.”

“The guy who shot you just got a lucky one in,” TJ reasons. “You were already hurt. You weren’t one hundred percent. Some guy had already shot you, hadn’t he? A sniper?”

“What’s a sniper?” Addie inquires. “Is it like Swipper on Dora? Something like him?”

“We don’t need to talk about that,” Tyler says. “You don’t need to know that stuff. Not until you’re older. WAY older.”

“A sniper’s a guy that hides somewhere and shoots you,” TJ replies. “Somewhere where no one sees him. It’s why they’re so dangerous. You don’t even know where they are. They just shoot you. And they kill you before you even know what happened.”

“But daddy didn’t get killed. If a sniper shot daddy, shouldn’t he be dead?”

Combing his hand through her bangs, Tyler tips his daughter’s head back. “What did I just say? About you not needing to know about this stuff?”

“I’m curious now. Tyler said they hide and shoot people and kill them. How come you didn’t die? If a sniper shot you?”

“I guess he didn’t manage to get a good shot in.”

“It was the other guy that almost killed him,” TJ says, and takes a sip of the concoction in his hand. “The one that got him in the neck. That’s when he almost died. Mum saved him.”

“How? How did mummy save daddy? Daddy…” she swivels around in her stool to face him. “...how did mummy save you? Did she shoot the bad guy back?”

“Mum stuck her fingers in his neck,” TJ says. “To stop the bleeding. Or he would have bled to death.”

Addie’s eyes widen. “She DID?”

“When you’re older, MAYBE I’ll tell you more more about it. But for now…” Tyler places his hands on her shoulders and gently turns her back around. “...you don’t need to know this stuff. And you…” he stares pointedly at his son. “...don’t talk about this around her. She doesn’t need to know about this. She’s a baby still.”

“I’m not a baby!” Addie objects. “I’m five! I can almost ride my bike without training wheels. Babies can’t do that.”

“Just don’t, alright?” He addresses TJ. “Don’t talk about this stuff around her. Because she’s going to repeat all of this and she’s going to repeat it to your mum and that won’t end well. For you OR me.”

“It happened though. I mean, it’s part of how you guys met and got together and ended up getting married and stuff. It’s your history. I don’t see why…”

“I said ENOUGH. No more. Not around her. Got it?” He’s on edge; the mere mention of Dhaka and the incidents on the bridge playing straight into the anxiety and the panic he’d felt the night before; when he’d woken up from the nightmare and been on the verge of losing control and had turned to the fentanyl for relief. And it scares him; how easy it had been to not only access the powerful med, but actually take it. He’d encountered no resistance or hesitation; remorse and guilt not setting in until the following morning when he’d woken up and it had been the first thing on his mind. It’s alarming how quick things can return; an addict’s mind and behaviour.

Nodding, TJ holds his hands up in surrender.

“You’re both going to be nice tonight,” he says, and finishes Addie’s final braid. “To grandma. Because your mum is already stressed out enough and we don’t need to make it worse for her. So if the best you can do is smile and nod, just do that. I’m not asking you to kiss her ass. I’m just asking you to be civil. Can you handle that?”

TJ nods.

“You?” He tugs on one of Addie’s pigtails. “Can you do that? Be civil?”

“Do I have to be near her? Or sit on her lap? ‘Cause I draw the line there.”

“You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Just don’t be a little asshole, alright?”

“Me? I’m Mary Freaking Sunshine, remember? That’s what Grandpa Koen calls me.”

“Well then live up to it and be nice to your grandmother. Smile until your face hurts, got it?”

“What do I get out of it?”

He smirks.

“Mummy says to always negotiate. Never settle for the first offer. Can I sleep in the big bed tonight? For being nice to grandma?”

“No.” Wrapping an arm around her waist, he lifts her off the stool; pressing a kiss to her cheek before setting her on the ground.

She turns to face him. Head cocked to the side and one hand clutching her doll, the other planted firmly on her hip. “Can I have ice cream for my bedtime snack?”

"Maybe."

“Maybe isn’t good enough.”

“You ARE just like your mom, aren’t you.”

“I’ll be nice if I can have ice cream for my bedtime snack and you snuggle with me and draw on my back for half an hour. And that’s after FOUR stories.”

“You're bossy, you know that? Two stories.”

“Three. That’s as low as I’ll go.”

“I will give you two stories, ice cream for your snack, and forty five minutes of snuggling and drawing on your back. Instead of half an hour. We got a deal?”

Her eyes narrow as she considers it; nibbling on her bottom lip and swishing her hips back and forth. “You’re good at this.”

“This isn’t my first rodeo, Peanut. I’ve dealt with tougher than you. What do you say?” He offers a hand. “Deal?”

“Deal!” she agrees, his hand easily swallowing hers as they shake on it.

Grinning, he runs a hand over the top of her head and then drops a kiss on her hair. “You really DO have a lot of your mum in you.”

“Great things come in small packages,” Addie reasons, standing on her tiptoes as he leans down and pecks her lips. “Thank you, daddy!” she chirps. “My hair looks beautiful. You always do it perfect.”

“Pretty hard not to when my subject is so cute. Good thing I married your mum, huh? So I could have a kid as cute as you?”

“You really are a lucky man!” she declares and then cheerfully skips out of the room.

“I hope grandma is on her best behaviour,” TJ says, as he finishes the drink in his hand and then slides off the stool and returns it to its place at the island. “Because if she DOES start on mum, it’s going to be a wild night. I really hope she watches her step.”

“My too, kiddo,” Tyler sighs, and reaches out to tousle his son’s hair. “Me too.”

[tipsycad147]

Hades – God of the Dead and King of the Underworld

Hades is the Greek god of the dead as well as the king of the underworld. He is so well known that his name is used synonymously with the underworld and you will often see references to the underworld simply calling it Hades.

Hades is the oldest son of Cronus and Rhea. Hades, along with his younger brother, Poseidon, and three older sisters, Hestia, Demeter, and Hera, was swallowed by their father to prevent any of his children challenging his power and overthrowing him. They grew to adulthood inside of him. When Hades’ youngest sibling Zeus was born, their mother Rhea hid him away so he would not be swallowed. Eventually, Zeus forced Cronus to regurgitate his brothers and sisters, including Hades. Afterwards, all the gods and their allies banded together to challenge the Titans (including their father) for power, which resulted in a war that lasted for a decade before the Olympian gods were victorious.

Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades divided up the world into three realms over which they would rule: Zeus was given the sky, Poseidon the sea, and Hades the underworld.

Who is Hades?

Hades is depicted in Greek mythology as being generally more altruistic than his brethren, rather than “evil” as his association with death may connotate to some. He differs from his brothers immensely as he was often seen as passive and somewhat cold and even stern, rather than easily impassioned and lustful. He held all of the subjects of his undead kingdom in equal standing and didn’t pick favourites.

Hades’ strictest rule was that his subjects could not leave the underworld, and anyone who tried was subject to his rage. Additionally, Hades was not fond of those who attempted to cheat death or steal from him.

Many Greek heroes end up venturing into the underworld, each for their own reasons. Seen as one of the most treacherous places a hero could enter, those who entered did so at their own risk and many never returned from it.

Hades was seen as fearsome, and those who worshipped him tended to avoid swearing oaths upon his name or even saying his name at all. He was considered to control all of the precious minerals as they were found “under” the earth and therefore came from his domain.

Black animals were sacrificed to him (sheep specifically), and their blood dripped into a pit dug into the ground while the worshipped averted their eyes and hid their face.

Hades is mentioned several times in the Christian New Testament. Later translations interprets this as simply Hell.

The Abduction of Persephone

The most famous story involving Hades is the abduction of Persephone. The goddess Persephone was out in a field picking flowers, when the earth opened up and from the chasm Hades emerged in his chariot pulled by fierce black horses. He grabbed Persephone and took her with him back to the underworld.

Persephone’s mother, Demeter, searched the entire earth for her daughter and when she couldn’t find her, she fell into a dark despair. As a result, there was a devastating famine as Demeter prevented crops from growing in the barren land.

Zeus eventually asked Hermes, the messenger of the gods, to go down to the underworld and convince Hades to return Persephone to her mother. Hades received Hermes and his message and relented, readying his chariot to return Persephone to earth. Before they left, however, he gave Persephone a pomegranate seed to eat. In some versions, Persephone was given twelve pomegranate seeds, of which she ate six. The rule was that anyone who had tasted the food of the underworld would be forever bound to it. Because she had eaten the seeds, Persephone was required to return every year for six months.

Demeter, upon seeing her daughter, released her hold on the earth’s crops and allows them to flourish once again. This story can be seen as an allegory for the seasons, as the land is verdant and abundant during the spring and summer, when Persephone is with Demeter. But when  Persephone is away in the underworld with Hades, the earth is cold and barren.

Stories Involving Hades

Sisyphus

Sisyphus was the king of Corinth (at the time known as Ephyra) and was punished after death for his immoral and corrupt ways. He was known for using his intelligence for evil, plotting to kill his brother Salmoneus, and even cheating death by binding Thanatos, the god of death, with his own chains.

This incensed Hades as he believed Sisyphus was directly disrespecting him and his authority over the souls of the dead. The punishment for Sisyphus’ deceit was to forever be tasked with rolling a gigantic boulder up a hill in Hades, only to have it inevitably roll back down the hill before he reached the summit.

As a result of Thanatos’ confinement, nobody on earth could die, which angered Ares, the god of war, who believed that all of his battles were no longer entertaining as his opponents could not die. Ares eventually freed Thanatos and people once again were able to die.

Pirithous and Theseus

Pirithous and Theseus were best friends as well as children of gods and mortal women. They believed that the only women befitting of their divine heritage were daughters of Zeus. Theseus chose the young Helen of Troy (who would have been around seven or ten at the time) while Pirithous chose Persephone.

Hades learned of their plan to kidnap his wife, so he offered them hospitality with a feast. Pirithous and Theseus accepted, but when they sat down, snakes appeared and wrapped themselves around their feet—trapping them. Eventually, Theseus was rescued by the hero Heracles but Pirithous was forever trapped in the underworld as punishment.

Asclepius

Asclepius was a mortal hero later transformed into the god of medicine. He is the son of Apollo and often represents the healing aspect of the medical sciences.  While mortal, he gained the ability to bring back the dead from the underworld, which according to some myths, skills he himself used to keep himself alive.

Eventually, Hades discovered this and complained to Zeus that his rightful subjects were being stolen and that Asclepius must be stopped. Zeus agreed and killed Asclepius with his thunderbolts only to later resurrect him as the god of healing and give him a place on Mount Olympus.

Heracles

Cerberus – The Three-Headed Dog

One of Heracles’ final labours was to capture Hades’ three-headed guard dog: Cerberus. Heracles learned how to enter and exit the underworld while remaining alive and then descended into its depths through an entrance at Taenarum. The goddess Athena and the god Hermes both aided Heracles on his journey. In the end, Heracles simply asked Hades’ permission to take Cerberus and Hades gave it under the condition that Heracles didn’t hurt his loyal guard dog.

Symbols of Hades

Hades is represented by several symbols. These include:

Cornucopia

Keys – thought to be the key to the gates of the underworld

Serpent

White poplar

Screech owl

Black horse – Hades often travelled in a chariot drawn by four black horses

Pomegranate

Sheep

Cattle

In addition to these, he also has the cap of invisibility, also called the Helm of Hades, which renders the wearer invisible. Hades lends this to Perseus, who uses it on his quest to behead Medusa.

Hades is also sometimes depicted with Cerberus, his three-headed dog, next to him.

Hades vs. Thanatos

Hades wasn’t the god of death, but simply the god of the underworld and of the dead. The god of death was Thanatos, brother of Hypnos. Many get this confused, believing Hades to be the god of death.

Hades in Roman Mythology

Hades’ counterpart in Roman mythology is a combination of the Roman gods Dis Pater and Orcus as they were merged into Pluto. To the Romans, the word “pluto” was also synonymous with the underworld just as “hades” was to the Greeks.

The root of the name Pluto means “wealthy” and more elaborate versions of the name also existed which could be translated as “giver of wealth,” all of which can be seen as a direct reference to both Hades and Pluto’s association with precious minerals and wealth.

Hades in Modern Times

Depictions of Hades can be found all over modern pop culture. He is often used as an antagonist because of his association with the dead and the underworld, despite the fact that in Greek mythology these associations do not make him evil.

In many properties, the character of Hades makes an explicit appearance. Rick Riordan’s Percy Jackson, however, does subvert the idea that Hades is always evil. In the first book of the series, Hades is framed by a demigod as having stolen Zeus’ thunderbolts despite having nothing to do with it. Later, once the truth is discovered, he is given begrudging apologies by those who jumped to assume his guilt.

In the popular Disney animated film, Hercules, Hades is the main antagonist and he tries to overthrow Zeus and rule the world. Throughout the story he attempts to kill Hercules to maintain his own power.

Many video games take inspiration from the king of the underworld, and he appears as a character in the God of War video game series, the Kingdom Hearts series, Age of Mythology, as well as many others. However, he is often portrayed as being evil.

A species of blind, burrowing snake, Gerrhopilus hades, is named for him. It is a thin, forest-dwelling creature that can be found in Papua New Guinea.

Lessons from Hade’s Story

The Judge- Eventually, everybody ends up in the kingdom of Hades. Regardless of whether they were rich or poor, cruel or kind, all mortals are faced with a final judgement once they reach the underworld. In a kingdom where the bad are punished and the good are rewarded, Hades rules over them all.

The Easy Villain- In many modern-day interpretations, Hades is scapegoated and turned into the villain despite his role in Greek mythology, where he appears just and typically stayed out of everybody’s business. In this way, it’s easy to see how people often make the assumption that someone is cruel or evil merely because of surface level associations with unhappy things (like death).

Hades Facts

1- Who are Hades’ parents?

Hades’ parents are Cronus and Rhea.

2- Who are Hades’ siblings?

His siblings are the Olympian gods Zeus, Demeter, Hestia, Hera, Chiron and Zeus.

3- Who is Hades’ consort?

Hades’ consort is Persephone, whom he abducted.

4- Does Hades have children?

Hades had two children – Zagreus and Macaria. However, some myths state that Melinoe, Plutus and the Erinyes are also his children.

5- What is Hades’ Roman equivalent?

Hades’ Roman equivalents are Dis Pater, Pluto and Orcus.

6- Was Hades evil?

Hades was the ruler of the underworld, but he wasn’t necessarily evil. He’s portrayed as being just and meting out punishment as deserved. He could, however, be stern and merciless.

7- Where does Hades live?

He lived in the underworld, often called Hades.

8- Is Hades the god of death?

No, the god of death is Thanatos. Hades is the god of the underworld and of the dead (not of death).

9- What was Hades the god of?

Hades is the god of the underworld, of the death and of riches.

Summing Up

Although he is the god of the dead and the somewhat gloomy underworld, Hades is far from the evil and conniving figure that current day story tellers would have you believe. Instead, he was considered fair when judging the deeds of the dead and often much more evenly-keeled compared to his rowdy and vengeful brothers.

https://symbolsage.com/hades-greek-dead-god/

[rochiomaru]

THE BETRAYAL

We make the journey to the islands and land on Minion island in a cove where we can see the rendezvous point at Swallow Island without our position being spotted. I have a terrible premonition that things are about to get extremely treacherous for my family, and as we spend time watching, this feeling is proven accurate. My heart sinks as we watch two warships begin circling the port. The size of these ships are so massive that they almost match the ones used in a buster call. These ships are here to rain destruction, not to simply guard a transaction. It’s as if the Marines are preparing for a war.

It is then that my transponder snail begins to ring. The demons in my soul practically sing in glee as I know whatever news is on the other end is going to destroy the remainder of my happiness. I’m not even sure how I am aware of this, but it is a knowledge that I would place my life on. I simply close my eyes and my fingers crack and bend as I flex them back and forth before taking the snail’s receiver.

Vergo informs me of my brother’s secret letter to the Marines. My world comes to an end for the briefest of moments and my vision blurs as wretched heat fills my eyes. Rosinante has attempted to tell them everything. The auction houses, the devil fruits, and worst of all, he tried to warn them about Dressrosa. It is a country that was stolen from our family by the worthless world government. That crown should have been mine at birth, simply by matter of bloodline! It was denied to me by those pompous fools, so why would help them to keep what is rightfully mine?

I am pulled from my reverie when Vergo attempts to appease me by letting me know he punished Rosinante and Law. Even my voices know to let me be at this moment. Law is my son and still a child. I am the only one to decide his punishment if one is even warranted. My brother is currently the only transgressor, and I still want to talk to him. Maybe the Marines forced him to betray me? I must know why he did this! Brothers...blood is forever! How could he choose them over me? A voice whispers in my mind that The Family is my only true family. I ignore it for now.

“Whoa-whoa, you haven’t killed them, have you?” I ask Vergo. He assures me they are still breathing, but I do not like his flippant tone. I will overlook it, though, as he has been so faithful to me all these years and has been undercover, away from the family. I tell him that we will be that way shortly, as the pirates we have fought said the devil fruit was stolen from them, so it must have been my brother.

Vergo becomes irritated. Apparently, Rosinante and Law have disappeared, but it is of no great importance. We will find them, for how far can a child and an injured man go? I also have my devil fruit to assist me. I pull forth one of my most formidable abilities. Birdcage. I can feel the subtle vibrations as people begin to grab a hold of the strings in a futile attempt to escape. No one can escape this trap once I have set it. I will find my son.

As a final push towards destruction, I release my parasite strings and begin to grab random pirates to slay anyone near them. A morbid pleasure fills my breast as I can sense the pain and fear that fills them whenever someone’s flesh is pierced by my power.

We make our way towards the town and cut down every rat we come across along the way. No amount of begging, or crying is enough to grant mercy. No display of anger, or effort to fight is adequate to repel my family’s judgement. Death is granted to all without hesitation and the stench of iron increases even as the sounds of war decrease. With each death, the demons at the core of my being are gaining more momentum. I can scarcely tell what is them and what is me. It is as though I am losing my true self, and I feel a small flicker of fear. I am drowning, and with Rosinante’s betrayal, I no longer have a lifeline to grasp, nor perhaps even the desire to hang on.

I finally reach a warehouse and use my strings to lay waste to the door. Inside I find the sorry excuse of a pirate captain. He is the one who was to meet with the Marines and sell the Ope Ope no Mi, but here he is cowering before me on the ground like a worm. Somehow this filth dares to accuse me of taking the precious fruit, but I make sure to tell him that if I had taken it, I would not be here now going through all of this. 

He sickens me to even look at him and only have one thing more to say, “How dare you let it be stolen, you drunken idiot?!” before I pass his final condemnation and pull the gun from my coat. He isn’t even worth death from my personal power, and the bullets pass through his head before he can utter one more word in response. Good riddance.

After it is done, I slowly lower myself to the floor and stare at the gun in my hand. I’m losing myself while the demons of both past and present begin to take over everything. I remember how I felt when I met Trebol for the first time. I was so small and broken. He recognized greatness in me and was able to put name to the power dwelling within my soul. Haki. The power that saved me from the villagers. If it hadn’t been for him and Vergo, I never would have met my destiny.

I continue to stare at the gun. The gun Trebol gave me to take my revenge and steal my power back from that man. He’s the one that caused me and my brother to hurt so much! He tried to take my power from me! I can hear Rosi...Rosinante screaming for me to stop. He’s screaming for that man. I ask him why he took that power I had. I tell him we can’t undo what he’s done, but I plan to take his head to the Celestial Dragons to regain entry to heaven. I’m doing it for us! Why doesn’t Rosinante understand? Instead Rosinante persists in clinging to and crying for that man!

He simply turns and says, “Doflamingo, Rosinante. I’m sorry you had to have a father like me.” I pause when he smiles at me. There are tears in his eyes and I can feel my hands begin to shake as I falter. I hate myself for my self-doubt, but this was a man I once trusted more than anyone in the world. At one time, he was everything to me. He would hold my hand as we walked along the streets of Mariejois, and he spent time playing games with me. He held me on his shoulders the first time I saw Rosi. Then I remember the pain and humiliation. He brought us here to be hurt. He let her die. He betrayed us.

The feeling of the iron is hot as I pull the trigger and I’m surprised how it makes my palm sting when the recoil causes the gun to slam back into my hand. I can smell the acidic burn of gunpowder in the air, and it is joined by the unmistakable rich odor of blood. I can feel gore and wet heat splatter on me from his wound. Rosinante continues to scream.

Pica is calling out my name, but I can scarcely bring myself to look away from the gun still sitting in my hand. It seems so small now. How can such a tiny weapon have brought such major changes in my existence? Pica then puts his hand on my shoulder and tells me they have found my brother. That manages to catch my full attention. The time has come to find out for sure if he has truly betrayed me to the point that there is no longer hope for us. I put the gun back into my coat and followed Pica into the cold.

I took my time walking towards the sounds of fighting, and though I was no longer right behind Pica, I could see his footprints in the snow. My voices are screaming for bloodshed, but I have never felt so conflicted before. My chest is aching from how tight it feels, and I notice the taste of copper in my mouth. When I put my fingers to my lips and pull them back, I see I have managed to bite through my bottom lip until it bled. Fufufu… I can’t help but to laugh at myself. Perhaps I am not as strong as I always believed?

The closer I come to where the family is confronting my brother, the harder it is for me to catch my breath. My chest is becoming even tighter, and my throat is getting dry as I struggle to swallow. I must stop and close my eyes. My fingers are moving fast and cracking as I create and release strings to try and relieve the tension in my body. I growl at the voices to shut the hell up, since they have become so fucking loud that I can’t concentrate on catching my breath. I need to understand why Rosinante is doing this!

WHY?

It isn’t until I hear Lao G tell Gladius to stop before he kills my brother that everything seems to freeze. My eyes snap open and I look up towards the direction where everyone is at just over the hill. He’s going to die? I lean my head to the side and relax my face into a wide grin, full of sharp teeth. People often tell me it is quite unnerving. I begin to chuckle softly, and it increases until I can’t even control the laughter. My demons join me in my head. We laugh until tears begin to roll down my face. Then I begin to sob. When did my brother stop loving me?

Did he ever love me?

After a few moments, I wipe my face with both of my hands and straighten my tie. I run my fingers through my hair and ensure that my coat is snug on my shoulders before continuing onward. My face is carefully blank as I approach Rosinante and my family, but I keep my hands in my pockets since I cannot seem to keep the fidgeting of my fingers under control.

I count off the steps in my head to try and keep calm. There is still a burning ember of hope in my chest, he will say something to make this better! He is still my lovely younger brother. All I have ever wanted is to have family and to be happy. We deserve better than the hell of this shameful dung heap that man cursed us to! It is all I have worked towards these long years. Surely Rosinante must know that! 

I stop and look down at Rosinante covered in blood, coughing as he is trying to smoke a cigarette. I want to reach out to him and take care of his injuries, but I know this is not the time for that. In fact, there may never be a time for that again. Instead, I say to him, “It has been six months, Corazon,” and wait to see what he will say back to me. 

The look of disgust and hatred in his eyes repulsed me. I can practically feel it burning my skin as he attempts to stare me down. Suddenly he smiles and reaches into his coat. The others immediately react, but I hold out my hand and tell them to stand down. He is my brother! I will see to this myself.

They were right not to trust him as he pulls a gun from his coat and aims it towards me. He even dares to pull back the hammer in preparation to fire. Icy fingers wind their way around my heart even as fiery pinpricks stab behind my eyes. He surely is betraying me, and I don’t know why. 

What is it about me that makes it so my biological family doesn’t want to love and protect me? I have the blood of the Celestial Dragons in my veins, but they have cast me away too. My hand goes to my eyes before I catch it and put it back into my pockets.

The next thing my brother says is that last thing I was ever expecting. “Marine Code 01746. Commander Rosinante of the Navy Headquarters. Donquixote Family captain Doflamingo, I have been undercover to prevent a future tragedy of your doing. I am a Navy soldier!” 

My heart feels as though it is shattering in that moment and there is a fever pitch of wails lamenting in my head. For the last few years that I’ve been tormented with the thoughts and suspicions that my brother hated me and was lying to me, to hear it put so plainly now was eating me alive. I could feel a cold sweat breaking out on my back and muscles tightening in my abdomen. That power began rolling and coiling within me, wrapping around the demons fighting for dominance. I felt it overwhelming me, but truly had lost the will to care.

Despite the turmoil churning inside my consciousness, I managed to keep my exterior facade in place, save for the deepening scowl on my forehead. Commander Rosinante continued, but he was no longer looking at me as he spoke. Again, my voices cried out he was playing games, only this time I know to listen to them. I realize he is no longer speaking to me, though I am not sure why he is trying to pretend any longer. What is the point in this charade? “I’m sorry I lied to you. I lied because I didn’t want you to hate me.” 

LIES!

I can feel the look of disgust that curls on my lip as I respond to him, “Stop telling those insipid jokes…” before the rage manifests on my face and I scream for him to answer my questions. I ask him about the Ope Ope no Mi and Law. He looks so proud of himself when he tells me that he had Law eat the fruit! I want to laugh in his face and wipe that smug look from existence. All he did was what I had planned from the beginning!

It’s what he says next that changes everything. My whole world feels like it is jerked out from underneath me and I am left with nothing. Law is not within the boundaries of the birdcage and Rosinante has allowed him to be given to the Marines. My son is with the FUCKING MARINES!! The icy fingers around my heart have just ripped said heart from my chest and crushed it to leave nothing but a gaping, bloody hole.

No, no, no, no… he must be lying, is all I try to tell myself as he begins to grin that cocksure fucking smile that lets me know I was never his brother. I was nothing more than an assignment to him. I begin to grind my teeth, but before I can move to react to him, Buffalo and Baby 5 cry out to me. They confirm that a boy was indeed taken by the Marines, so I begin to give out orders to the Family to retrieve Law. Then something in me snaps.

I was simply a pawn to the Commander. A villainous pirate to keep an eye on and report back about. I was never his brother! He never loved me this whole time! This realization causes the dam holding the demons back to break. I no longer have any control and they consume me. I think I may even be… grateful? After so many years of struggling, I begin to sink into the blackness of their embrace. I am me, yet I am not. It is my body, though it is not I that is fully in possession any longer.

 The bastard has the nerve to look offended that I plan to take my son back from the Marines. When he speaks aloud for me not to and asks me why I want to get Law back, I know I would never give him the honest answer anymore. He is no longer family and doesn’t deserve any kindness from me. I allow the demons to answer in my stead, simply because at this point, I want him to hurt as much as he hurt me.

 I can feel my face change as I lean in towards him. The cruelty is almost alive the way it distorts and disfigures me. I truly am demonic in my hatred and my demons have given me a new smile as I answer the Commander. “Why would I wanna go after Law? If he ate the Ope Ope no Mi, he needs to be educated in order to die for me!” Somewhere deep within I wonder if I have allowed them to go too far to even say such a thing, but when I see his face, revenge is sweet, and I force the regret away while retrieving the gun from my coat.

 I look at him and all I see is our father where I used to see our moth… all I see is him, when I used to see her. She has truly left this world for me and the only family I have is the ones I have found. The ones that came to me when I was ten.  I just don’t understand why my blood wants to reject me. I don’t mean to say it to him, but it slips out, “Why do I have to kill another member of my biological family?!”

 We stare at each other for a few moments, each pointing a gun at the other. I tell him he won’t shoot me because he is like his father. Since they do not want me, I will no longer claim them either. The Commander and that man can have each other in hell! I begin to fire. Once I pull the trigger, I can’t stop. I see flashes of my life. My brother as a baby, Law, Mariejois, my moth...my mother; all the things that have been taken from me! Why does everyone leave?

 The voices whisper, “because you are a demon, like us. A worthless monster. Who could ever love something like that?”

 I keep firing until the gun is empty. It is so cold out and I watch as Rosinante slides back against the treasure chest. Snow begins to gather on his body and red stains it. I watch while the others begin to gather the stacks of loot and beri to carry back to the ship, but a part of me doesn’t want to leave him there alone in the cold. He betrayed me in the deepest way anyone ever could, but... I love him. It’s freezing out here, and Rosi is so damn helpless and clumsy. I worry about him. He is my baby broth…

 Diamante taps me on the arm and tells me it’s time to go. I turn away and walk towards the Numancia with my family. We are about to wage war on the Marines in the harbor to get my son back. 

 I release the birdcage and my lips spread wide in a razor-sharp leer. My glasses hide the insanity that is swimming at the surface of my consciousness. I feel like the world cannot begin to touch what I have become.

The Marines will forever regret what they have done to me and my family. I am about to pay them back in spades for the life of my brother, then I will take Law before any further damage can be done.

The Heavenly Demon shows mercy to no man and has now been fully unleashed.

[the-writing-rat]

Rats Short Stories (2)  Sea Weathered Spirits

synopsis: a curious store clerk follows a peculiar customer and learns about the past of his hometown, and the reason for the customers mysterious shopping habits 

story under the break

I was restocking the shelves when I saw him. The old man that lives on the hill between the docks. I don't know why we call him that, and not just "the hermit" after all, that's what he is. He stays in that old house on top of that hill except for once a month when he walks down the hill, comes to this shop, and buys a barrel of rum, a tin of tea, and a sack of sugar. I don't know what he does with them every month, as that's a lot of everything for just one month's supply. Unless he spends all day drunk and then drinking tea with lots of sugar every day. I know I'd have to be drunk all the time to live at the top of that hill never seeing anyone except for once a month. He never speaks to anyone either, to think of it, I don't think I've ever heard him speak. Not even to order his things. The shop owner just sets aside his things every time we get a shipment in, so we always have it ready for him. I opened the door as he walked up, he nodded to me. Then he set the money on the counter, I don't bother to count it anymore, it's always the exact amount, no more no less. I handed him his things and then he left. But then I did something I've never done before. I followed him. 

"Sir! Sir!" I shouted after him. 

The old man turned to me, a confused look on his face. 

"Can I help you carry your things?"

The old man shrugged the barrel of rum to the ground and gestured to it.

I hoisted it off the ground and struggled to get it onto my back the way the old man carried it. Once I got it I followed the old man's lead up the hill, leaving the tiered streets of the little coastal town behind us and onto a well-worn dirt path that meandered up the side of the hill. Once the ships in the harbor were tiny specks in the distance, the old man spoke for the first time. His voice was deep and rough, like an old tree. 

"Thank you for helping me. These old bones aren't built for this anymore." 

"No problem sir"

"Though I suspect you didn't only want to help me" 

"No ulterior motives here sir." 

And at that moment, the road came to an end and the man's house revealed itself. It was small, old, and surprisingly sturdy looking. 

"There" the old man pointed over my shoulder and I turned to see the edge of the hill. And below, I could see everything. To the left, the town, the harbor, and to the right, the old town, and the small docks floating in the water. It was two separate worlds, connected by a shared shore and the vast ocean that stretched as far as the eye can see. 

"I can't believe I've never seen this before" I muttered. 

"It sure is a sight," the old man said. He pulled a chair from his porch and set it next to me. He took a seat, and his intelligent eyes reflected the sun in the distance with a gleam of nostalgia. 

"Shall we...crack open your barrel of rum?" I asked, unsure of what to do now that I was up here. 

"Oh no, that's not for me. I don't drink." The old man replied. It was my turn to look puzzled. 

"You buy a barrel of rum every month, and you don't drink?" 

"No, I haven't drunk a drop of liquor since I was 17" 

"If you don't mind me asking, then who's it for? The rum. I know no one else ever comes up here." 

"Well, it's for- no it's better to not worry your young mind with such things" 

"No, please, sir, tell me" 

"If I tell you, do you swear not to tell another soul?"

"...yes sir" 

"Well then. Let me take you back to when I was a young boy of 16. When I was young we lived right down there" he pointed to the ruins of the old town to our right. "All the boys around my age, save for Arthur Chaff, were in my band of friends. Arthur was rude and believed he was better than everyone, so we didn't associate with him. But that's unimportant. What was important was my friend Phillip. The thing about Philip is he inherited his father's ship when his father died. We were 14 when Phillips's father passed, but when we were 16 Phillip finally got the courage to step onto the ship for the first time. All of my friends were excited to climb the rigging and unfurl the sails, all but me of course. See, I've always had a fear of the sea. The shallows are fine, but out there, on the open ocean, nothing to tether you but the planks of wood beneath your feet? That's something that frightens me more than anything. And it's that fear that kept me from going that day and resigned me to my fate of buying those supplies every month." 

"What happened?" 

"Hush, I'm getting there. One day, Phillip and my friends decided they were going to take that ship, and go whale catching. The lot of them decided that they were going to be whalers. 'We're going to catch a whale' Phillip told me one day. 'We'll be back in a month for more supplies, or with a whale in tow. We're counting on you to get us our supplies when we get back' and they left. But that day, that cursed day, a storm rolled in, and it destroyed everything. That's the reason the town moved, you know?  Because of the storm. When Phillip and my friends left the harbor, it was just barely raining, you'd get a stronger rain from a watering can. But as I climbed the hill to watch my friends sail away, the sky got darker, and the rain got heavier so that by the time I reached this very ridge, my clothes were soaked and I was more digging through the mud than climbing. So I did what any young, wet lad would do, I went inside. I was in the middle of changing my clothes when there came a knock on my door. It was my neighbor from down the hill and all of her children. 'Help us' she said. 'The wind, the rain, it's tearing the town apart' and with a glance out my window, I confirmed her story to be true. The waves were the tallest I've ever seen, and the wind was blowing the trees sideways. I let her and her children in, and every other townsperson who made their way to my door. At the height of the storm, there was nowhere to sit in the entire house, not even the floor. There were people from the cellar to the top floor of the house. And the storm stayed for days, the wind shaking the walls of the house, the rain finding any crack in the walls or ceiling it could. And when it was over, the people were left to find what was left of their belongings, and to bury what dead we could find. We didn't let the children near the shore for a long while after that, for fear that one of them could find a body. I wasn't sure that my friends had made it out of the storm in time or not, but they returned in a month, so I assumed they did. I brought them their sugar, and tea, and rum, they asked me if I wanted to join them, I declined, and they left again. The problem with that was the next week, I received a letter from Phillips mother's sister, who lived on an island 2 weeks journey from here. She said that Phillips ship and all of my friends washed up on the shore after the storm, only identifiable by the little book Phillip kept in his jacket, with all of his logs in it. The book I gave him as a gift the day he decided to step onto that boat. She was writing me to ask if I would find the other boys' mothers and tell them about their sons, and to ask whether to bury their bodies for us or if we would like for her to send them here. So I did my duty, and informed each of their mothers, save for Phillip's, as she had perished in the storm as well. They lived right at the shore, so I imagine she was one of the first to go. Once all the mothers were told, I wrote her back, and picked up a bottle for the first time. Stricken with grief over the death of my friends, I drunk like a fish. While the rest of the town was busy rebuilding, I was busy drinking myself into a stupor. And my problem got worse when they returned. Yes, the ship, and all my friends, alive and well, asking for their supplies. I tried to ignore them, but they wouldn't go away. They called for me again and again, for days, until I gave in. I brought them their supplies, they asked if I would like to join them, and when I declined, they left. At first, I was rejoicing! I was so happy I went around telling everyone that they didn't die, and I had just seen them, but no one listens to the mumblings of an unbathed drunkard, especially when they're busy grieving and rebuilding. And they returned the next month, and the month after that, and the one after that. Every month they returned and every month my drinking got worse. It was only when I realized that the entire town had moved, that I stopped drinking. I swore off the liquor, and only bought the barrel of rum to give to my friends. But at that point my image, the town's opinion of me was so tarnished, it made it impossible to walk through the streets of the new town without getting stares and mumbled judgement. At that point I was at my lowest. I was without my vice, and without my community. Things were difficult. And it was at that point, an unexpected hand reached to me. None other than Arthur Chaff, that rude boy from my youth, came to help pull me out of the hole I was stuck in. Apparently, that storm changed him, and he made a little shop to sell groceries and supplies to sailors. He listened to me, and most importantly, he believed me. And he helped me out. He set aside my supplies so I would have them every time Phillip returned, and to his death, he was a great friend. His family wouldn't let me at his funeral, but his son, who inherited the shop from him 5 years ago, told me he would still help me the way his father did, even if he didn't quite understand it. And so once a month, I make my way into town, I get Phillips crew their supplies, and I leave." 

"...when does Phillip's crew arrive?" I asked, speaking for the first time in hours. 

"Phillip should be arriving tonight, and this time, I think I will change my answer to his question, and really see if the ocean is something I should be afraid of." The old man smiled and returned his gaze to the horizon.

[erizawayumako888]

It's been a while, how many years have passed? 5? 10? maybe even more? we both lay side by side on top of the hill, green fields and village by the mountain. The place we call home, or for me, used to be one.

We may not have been the closest of friends, but your company is quite enjoyable. Especially back then, when I was a child, young and free, naive and innocent. I would run around the village, play with other kids, other times hanging out with older friends like you. I've been looking up to you, we don't talk much, but you're an admirable figure, as a kid I thought about how cool you are, I talked a lot about you although I didn't have the guts to really tell you how I feel.

Kids would cringe at the idea of the idea of a girl and boy kissing or holding hands, including me. I kept on denying how I feel, I was so young I felt that it was disgusting although it felt good. As I grow up we grew further apart, just like every other kids growing out of their interests or old friends. I forgotten that you even existed for years.

All those years as I grew up, a lot of terrible things happened. I looked at you, assuming that you are smiling back at me underneath that mask. You were quite pleased to see an old friend, a little girl you used to spend time with, gone for quite a while and returned a grown up woman. You sat comfortably beside me, thinking that I'm still the same old bright young woman. How unfortunate, my friend. You couldn't have been more wrong...

I didn't grow up to be the lady society expects me to be, I run, jump and play like boys, I prefer dinosaurs and superheroes over dressing up and dolls. Other kids think I am weird, I got bullied and rejected. I learnes how to just keep things by myself, since I am a bother for others. But it didn't stop there, now that I am being quiet, the grown ups hated me just for speaking too little. I still listen to and reply to them, I just don't talk much to other kids or when not needed.

They tried to shackle and chain my freedom, telling me that just because I am a girl I am not allowed to do this or that. I am forced to wear complicated clothings, constantly how a woman's only goal in life is to bow down to her husband. I am sick of being tossed and controlled around up to 14 years of my life, only to be told that it is the right thing to carry on beibg tossed and controlled around by a man until the day I die.

This place I grew up in, what I once see as a peaceful village... I hate everyone in there. All of them, judgemental hypocrites, feeling that they're always right when they condemn people for being themselves. I'm sick of it, I can't take it any longer. My guardian angel held me tight, telling me that everythings going to be okay.

Hell no, I am no longer enduring that while faking a smile. I ran away from her, from the village, into the forest depth. And that's when I came face to face with the devil herself. And attractive woman with red, glistening hair. Her sharp glare accompanied with curled horbs decorating her head, standing proud with her bat-like wings stretched over and her devilish tail swaying around. She stood proud, loud and clear she declared ,"My child, I can help you avenge those who have wronged you!".

My guardian angel grabbed my arm whimpering ,"Don't listen to her" I looked back at her feeling bad... But you are my guardian angel, yet you don't protect me from the hell I have been through. But still, you are my friend, but what kind of friend sees you suffering and does nothing about it, only telling me to be patient and take it all?

I closed my eyes, under my eyelids it's pitch black as expected. However everything soon turns to be red, bright red, visions of flames of hell is getting clearer. But I felt very excited, not realizing I grinned wider as the estacy grew. I opened my eyes feeling euphoric, for the first time in a while my laugh echoes out of excitement. I can't tell where and what I am looking, I only know that I can't stop laughing, my arms have to keep moving slashing through the air, I feltike I'm hit something, at a glance I might have seen a terrified face but the adrenaline rush makes me ignorant of it. My vision grows blurry and redder, as the screams from hell grew louder and pierces my ears.

Finally I'm exhausted. My head feels very heavy, as if heavy weights are being attach to its left and right, I fell forward to the ground. That is when I realized I literaly have weights on my head... that demon lady's horns, they are on my head now. I could feel some wind, some moving attached to my back, those are her wings... and my hands, red.

I saw my guardian angel there, her once white gown is now stained in red. She is no longer movinh or breathing. I cried when I realized what happened. Slowly I carried her lifeless body on top of a hill far away from the village, under a huge, old tree surrounded by the flower beds we used to play at. It was where we would laugh and make flower crowns, where we would frolic and run with the animals. But now, this is her final resting place.

I kept replaying those memories as I walked with my old friend. He didn't say a word and follwed behind me, until I stopped in front of the nameless tombstone. I picked up a few flowers and poured them on top of it, before I fall on my knees. Had hadn't a clue of what happened that day, in attempt of consoling me he held my shoulder ,"Friend of yours?" I didn't say a word.

After my first murder, I finally realizes that I no longer have a guardian angel, instead I have a demon by my side. She promised me that shw would be much more helpful, and she seems to be telling the truth. With my new found power I walked back to the village in the middle of the night, fpr one last time. I flew from home to home, looking for the faces of those who had wronged me to rip them off. A glint of satisfication when they all run and scream in fear before finally, they all drop dead in silence.

By the time the sun goes up, I looked into a mirror, seeing myself as a beat decorated in red. The light shines on the blood covering me, it was an amazing kind of feeling I never had before. I flew away far into the darkest depths of forest, looking for a new place to live.

I travlled the lands into other villages and towns, there are times I do try to make friends and hide my past, I may not be hated anymore but I always fear how if I would. So I keep myself away from others, no one can be trusted, except for myself and the demon inside of me.

It is quite frustrating as a loner when I had feelings for a man, yet I remember how I was treated, by their kind especially. I don't want to let my feelings of attachment to bribg down my ego. I am not the one who will submit, I will be the one to dominate them.

And thus my journey began, I trained to grow stronger. When I see a man I found to my liking I would take them away and trest them like a toy. I will toss and turn them aroubd to my heart's content, although I do love and care for them it is a pleasureable way to avenge those men who wronged me. You say that girls can't be strong? You say that girls have to obey their husbands with a leash around her neck? Then this time my love, you are the one with the leash around your neck.

Two, three pets were not enough. I always needed more, and I have lost counted after all these years. Perhaps 30 or 40, and it won't stop anytime soon. At times I cry for nights knowijg how much I hurt my loved obes, but the voices of my relatives, telling me to kneel down and be a 'good girl', especoally my grandma...

She was not a nice old lady who makes cookies for you, she would always tell me it is wrong to be myself, she would always say that my nice face and body is jist a great asset to find me a good man. I am sick of it, and even after I've left my family behind their taunting voicr still taunts me. Aslong as the voices goes on, my torturous games will cobtinue. I do hesitate and feel guilty, but at the same time I enjoy it when I watch my boys cry in the dungeon after what I do to them.

I finally fibished plucking the weeds around the graveyard, I stared at the weed I grasp in my hands thinking... Maybe I should stop afterall, I cannot forever keep on hurting people especially those who I cared about. But just as I smiled in relief her voice echoes again ,"My dear, why don't you have a man yet? Relax, and kneel down. Be. A. Good. Girl."

I stood up yelling and tossed the weed aside, I screamed loudly towards the sky as my old friebd backed off. Both of my fists tightens as I stared into the horizon, I clenched my teeth and tears began flowing down my face.

My old friend slowly walked towards me ,"Is everything alright?" He asked. I turned my head slowly, now face to face to the so familiar face. But I noticed a difference, slowly my vision turns red. Not just his masked face, but the sky and grass, everything turns red. I began to smirk and laugh as tears continue to rush like waterfall ,"I'm sorry my love, she is coming back."

I laughed harder than ever as the demon's horns sprout out of my scalp, bat like wings spread on my back blocking the sun and drops a shadow covering my old friend. He stared at me as he drew his sword, I can tell that he hesitates just like I do. But I can't stop now, I need him in my collection, as long as that old witches words burns in my ears I need new toys to take my anger and grudge on.

I laughed harder and harder as I clawed my way through, my claws clashing against his sword under the setting sun. His skill impressive as ever, in a blink of an eye as I tried to hold back my demond I could feel my head lighter, and I notuced both of my horns were severed laying on the ground. Well played, my dear. This gets more interesting.

I growled and shoots lightning from my finger, I am not trying to attack him however I just want to play around for now. He leaps aroubd dodging my attacks, at times deflecting them with his sword which celarly backfires me, I took my own hit but I am not done yet.

Now, a huge orb forms in my palms, I run to him swinging it to his direction. He was ready to slocr the orb but just at the moment my other claw slaps his sword away. Checkmate. You are unarmed now. I growled like a beast as I grabbed him by force, he was fighting back kicking and punchibg but I am not backing down, not especially when I am a demon at least 10 times his size for now.

I grasped him in my claws and flew away from the spot. Finally another collection, another victim for my grudge and hatred, mixed with my love and obsession. I do love you dear, but your kind has to pay what they have done to me. The fun has just started, pet.

[idjitlili]

Firework

Kili x modern!reader

Summary: The company turning silent  at the random lyrics you quietly say to yourself.

wordcount:2674

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag Drifting thought the wind Wanting to start again" you had whispered to yourself ,not knowing the company had begin quieting down ,as you really didn't speak much,it's not surprising really being thrown into a different world not knowing if you ever get back home.You felt like Kim jong un ,in the interview. Damn you had wished to be James franco.

"Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin Like a house of cards One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep Six feet under scream But no one seems to hear a thing." you still hadnt realised the company was dearly concerned and silent as they heard you spit out these things,they felt horrible they couldnt help. Deciding you didnt want to speak all of the lyrics to firework,you just skipped the the end.

The company were about to hear some purposely bad singing,you did it because it's more fun,singing in a horrible low man pitch or a high squeaky pitch.it was great in your opinion ,to annoy people.

"Baby you're a firework Come on let your colors burst Make 'em go "OOOh.oh, oh!" You're gonna leave 'em fallin' DOwn down down BOOOOM,BOOOOM,BOOM" shouting each boom like a dinosaur ,oh by the way you were in a lake bathing.

"Even brighter than the moon, moon, MOOOOON Boom, BOOM, boom Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon." you had turned around to see the whole company rushing towards you with their weapons in hand,your face flashed red,you had used your arms to cover your breasts,you had finished bathing anyways. GRabbing your towel from the side on a rock now covering yourself with that.

"have you heard of privacy?" you had spoke walking out of the water,onto the rocky ground,damn dwayne,the company had looked shocked at your rudeness.

"We heard shouting, we thought you were in danger, lass."bofur had piped up,luckily Gandalf hadnt bothered to check on you knowing you just doing you,same with some of the other dwarves aka Bombur ,Balin ,OIn, and a couple of the others that didn't think you were in danger.

"bRuh,you know I could've been being down something else and bOOm ,I don't you to see that ,or I could have been bleeding out my god darn VAGINA!" okay so you were a little mad,KIli had smirked raising his eyebrows ,when you had said the first thing,you had blushed looked away from him

They had simply muttered apologies to you ,before walking away,yeah they were a little embarrassed as they hadn't seen you burst out like that being ,you always kept everything to yourself ,mostly not wanting to anger Thorin. You thought that they had all left turning to drop your towel to dress;yet someone had cleared their throat. You had turned like sonic ,to see the youngest dwarven prince standing a couple of steps a way,you were glad he had let his presence known otherwise he would've gotten a whole view of your cake. You just stared at the dwarf who stared back still smirking.  

"that was some lovely singing." bruh why did they all rush to yo,thinking you were being stabbed then? "that wasn't bloody singing ,screaming." you had grumbled out walking closer to him pushing him to face away ,when he had turned slightly back you had glared at him. Allowing you to get dressed ,god darn it was chilly.  "I would like to hear you scream sometime ,how about it?" you had scoffed at him playfully ,you knew he was just joking but it was horrible to be led on. LIttle to his knowledge you knew about that scene with the male elf ,you hadn't watched the hobbit it many years ,and that smaug was pretty much all you could remember right now.

"it's not like you got time ,oh darn those male elves." you had spoken doing a very rude gesture ,not that he could see but you were dressed mostly now, "oh your high cheekbones, and oooh ah your perfect skin,and those mhmm tight little asses." in with that that you had snuck up on the prince cupping his ass in your hands ,before swiftly leaving the dwarf in a certain bone city. He had not expected that from you, he thought you were shy,well you were ,you were just comfortable around him.

Neither had talked to each other for a couple of days and you knew Gandalf was leading you all to Rivendell but that was a secret.  You felt like being attacked by orcs was the perfect time to sing wrecking ball  horribly and dance to which fighting off orcs. You all had been hiding behind a rock when you had began quietly speaking the lyrics.

"We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain We jumped, never asking why We kissed, I fell under your spell A love no one could deny.." so quickly only kili,fili maybe bilbo could hear as they were all next to you,Thorin had told kili to shoot one down,indeed he did but you just felt like being a wrecking ball today.

"Don't you ever say I just walked away I will always want you I can't live a lie, running for my life I will always want you" you had became slightly louder drawing the others questions as you turned to kili ,gently putting your hands on his face ,as he looked at you like you had just pooped in the shower instead of a toilet,pulling your hands down and to your sides like Tom Holland on lip sync.

You had quickly rushed to the edge of the rock spotting an orc on a warg ,spriniting after it dagger in hand ,shouting:

"I CAME IN LIKE A wRECKING BALL" Boom the orc was dead as you had jumping on it ,slicing your daggers mentally shouting ljust like drax in Guadians of the galaxy two. You had been so quickly been pulled off that orc by KIli as he ushered you to run with the company ,pulling you along by the hand. "What were you doing?!" he had spoken quite angrily.

"Don't you ever say I just walked away I will always want you I can't live a lie, running for my life I will always want you," bruh these lyrics were too similar to the situation you were in right now.  He had scoffed against the wind,not being able to resist to crack a small smile for whatever reason.

Anyways soon you had reached Rivendell and just as you had fortold Kili was into the male elves,he had twirked up a side of his lips closing an eye to gesture the ellon behind him,god. You had been sat next to him ,Bofur on the other side of him. Kili was trying to cover up that he actually liked the elves ,due to his uncle and Dwalin and their judgemental galances."though that one isn't bad." he had smirked making Bilbo choke ,and the company burst out into loud laughter. Kili's face red in embarrassment,you had made eye contact with Fili who you would tell often about his brothers love of the male elves.

You had smirked ,mouthing "what did I say?" before doing the same hand gesture as before of jerking someone off,you tried to not let KIili see,but soon he had noticed ,you had just grinned nervously at his unimpressed face ,using that hand to slip the wine awkwardly. After a few minutes you had piped up to Bilbo to try remove the tension between you and Kili. "so.....Uh Bilbo have you tried Lembas bread?"gaining his attention,shaking his head no ,then the elves started their song again causing several dwarves to groan.

"I feel like I'm at a funeral." Nori spoke up in annoyance,while Oin had stuffed a napkin into his trumpet,"Did someone die?" ,Bofur had stood up standing on a table in which in around 77 years will be sat the ring of power. "There's one one thing for it ,lads. plus one lass" aha you were recognised for once as part of the company. Kili had nudged you in the side with his elbow briefly before whispering "maybe you should sing with him ,or maybe we should get a chamber together after this ,and I can hear you scream." you had turned into a beet ,pincing him hard, as a small moan come out of his parted lips,before Bofur started singing.

"There's an inn, there's an inn, there's a merry old inn, Beneath an old grey hill ; And there they brew a beer so brown That the Man in the Moon himself came down One night to drink his fill.

The ostler has a tipsy cat That plays a five-stringed fiddle ; And up and down he saws his bow Now squeaking high, Now purring low;

Now sawing in the middle So the cat on the fiddle played a hey-diddle-diddle A jig that would wake the dead ; He squeaked and he sawed and he quickened the tune, While the landlord shook the Man in the Moon :

"It's after three !", he said." just as Bofur finished dancing and singing wonderfully ,god his voice ,anyways Kili was about to throw a roll /cake thing at Lindir ,you had grabbed his arm before he could. You knew it was a food fight but throwing it at that elf didn't seem right,when he offered nothing but kindness.Kili had looked at you questionly ,"his hair looks like it took him long time ,it wouldnt be right,plus he looks your type ,you wouldn't want to screw your chances already." you had grinned at him,only to throw the thing right at Lindir's chest,ruining his shirt.

You had stood up straight away grabbing a napkin,rushing to him,you had smile at him once you had gotten close to him."uhh..LOrd Elrond,can your marchwaden and I be excused?" you weren't going to explain it furthur as it was clear,Lindir expression was still in disgust of the dwarf actions,yet Elrond's was soft. "of course," he had stated simply causing you to grab Lindir by the arm pulling him to the hall in hopes of finding some water.

"I am so sorry about your shirt,I tried to stop him." you spoke passing him the napkin to try remove the cake ,in which he took."My lady ,I appricate your effort,however I assure you worse has occured to me ," his voice smooth as ice,as you reached a foutain he dipped the napkin a little to help remove the cake ,he was very handsome. "you like that dwarf don't you ,my lady,I hope I am not being too bold,if so please say." you had sat on the wall of the fountain ,as did he ,you had blushed at his words.

UNknowningly to you a bunch of dwarves were heading this way,stripping to bathe in the fountain.

"No,no that isn't too bold ,,it is true." before either of you can speak there is a roar of laughter and huge splash in the fountain soaking both you and LIndir ,both of you had turned around to see a very naked Kili alongside most of the dwarves. You had pulled LIndir to stand up ,you were blushing hard. "whatever you do ,don't look down."you had whispered to Lindir who didn't say anything ,as someone had tapped your shoulder,when I say think of that hippo from madagascar getting out of the water that is exactly what it looks like now. His hair slicked back,the sun glinting on the water droplets on his muscular body.

"hey ,LIndir is it?Can I talk to y/n?"KIli had sent killer glares to the tall elf,you had pinched kili again to try get him to show some manners. "when this quest is over,Lindir I will sure to return with a new shirt for you." in with that he had smiled at you before leaving you with a very naked prince,you tried to not look ,just trying to look annoyedly at the dwarf who just sorta smirked at you.

"really? you didnt ev-please put some bloody pants on"you had shouted at the dwarf in annoyance ,he did have a full package and you couldn't help but glance he had chuckled at you. "oh so you checked me out,I'm honoured." he had smirked even wider than you thought was possible,turning into bloody pennywises nose. "..uh...." before you could even think of what to say,he had scooped you up into his arms before throwing you into the water,you had gasped now soaked,you had pulled kili over by his foot only for him to fall right on top of you.  His bare chest against your soaking tunic ,and his pipe was on your bare stomach ,where your tunic had risen up ,his eyes looking back into his shocked ones. THe water well over your face ,as you were both underwater.

Well that was until Dwalin had pulled Kili off you ,and Fili had helped you up to stand in the water.Dwalin was fuming at the prince's behaviour," If ye gonna court the lass do it bloody properly,show some bloody respect instead of shoving ye cock on her." he had shouted at the embarrassed dwarf ,who just gulped in response,you didnt want to see anyones cock like this really. "Thank you ,Dwalin but I didnt pull him over," you had spoken quietly ,grabbing kili by the arm ,walking out of the fountain and away.

"where are you taking me?" he had questioned trying to catch up with your rushing steps."to my room ,while I go get your bloody clothes;you will do as I say." and that is it he did not question as you left him in your room returning shortly with his stuff ,as he got changed you began running yourself a bath. You had sat him on the edge of your bed as you stood infront of the youngest dwarven prince.

"Here's the deal if you want to to court me , you will apologise to Lindir ,and you will court me properly like supposed to do. You are very charming and everything I do not wish to be messed around and I... do like you ,next time if you want my attention dont.. flash me in front of everyone .So what do you say to that , KIli?" you had let out with some pauses to rethink certain points before saying them ,looking at the dwarven prince you stared back at you with loving gaze.

"I agree to your deal,will you accept me courting you,y/n/n?"he had stood up ,holding your hands gently in his,you had nodded pressing your lips to his briefly,before pointing to the door. "now go to LIndir while I bath ,then you can braid my hair,"

Maybe you weren't a plastic bag ,cuz god makes no mistakes ,you are beautiful in your own way.

This imagine took longer than I thought ,but I have dedicated this to my two bestfriends jorja and Blake who have been here for me most of highschool,and jorja for  8 years. MOstly blake because of all the lady gaga references I put in this because he hooked me , I remember dancing on the bus with blake after a school trip,and after a drama perfomance and during a drama performance. Singing phineas and ferb together. I remember jorja slapping me in the face with herbs and I remember her chasing me after she said i got no titties ,and graphite. Too my best buds.

[essays-for-breakfast]

Do You Remember?

Kiane Week Day Five: Affection

Note: So, I had no idea what to do with the prompt for today. That’s when randomness entered my creatively-bankrupt brain. I hope you enjoy my first dive into first person referral POV.

You. Let me hold you close, now that we have nothing to fear. Our war is won, our past conquered, our future brighter than I could have hoped. Let me kiss you, now that you wear my ring and I yours. Let me create a shrine for our love, a forest that will last a thousand years, where the daisy blooms all seasons and the birds carol the song of a Giant and a Fairy.

My people say that the Sacred Tree produces a seed only once every five thousand years. A single bloom with a single kernel from which the strongest and most beautiful tree will sprout. The odds of witnessing such a wonder are slim, few Fairies ever do, and those who hope and search all their life might still return emptyhanded. A pearl in an ocean of sand.

And yet, I found the pearl without looking for her. She pulled me from a river, healed my wounds, and nursed me to health. In every sense of the word, she saved my life.

You.

You are my pearl, my one in five thousand chance, my strong and beautiful rock in an ocean of worries.

Let me reminisce the years we spent side by side, as friends, as comrades, now as husband and wife. Do you remember?

A cave in the sun. Water ran down the stone, cool and fresh, but the walls of your home never felt cold against my back. Because your warmth melted all ice. How often did we play tag in the meadows while the grass whispered with the wind? Do you remember half of it? One day blended into the next, one year mingled with the following, but you were always there, with a smile to brighten my mood and a hand to lift me up. Free of my own memories to chain me, I saw the world through your eyes. So vivid and cheerful. Every face a new friend without a shred of hostility.

Sometimes I want to go back to these days with you. But we have more now than we ever did back then, don’t we? More memories to wallow in, more experience to rely on, more friends to ask for support, advice, or a mindless night indulged in liquor. And a child to share our stories with.

In truth, I don’t want to go back to the cave in the sun. Tears stain the end of this chapter. I now acknowledge why Helbram needed to die, and the sound of the rose tearing through his skin and flesh no longer wakes me in the darkest hour before dawn. But what I did to you will forever haunt me. Please don’t worry, you can’t kiss away the guilt, your words can’t lift the burden. I realize my mistake now. Perhaps one day I will find the strength to remind you how truly sorry I am.

A man can endure torture, he can stomach tremendous loss, he can throw himself into the steel-infested fires of the battlefield time and time again, as long as his mind has a happier place to return to. Nothing lets us hold on and continue to strive forward more than a blissful memory to keep us company.

I robbed you of that.

But I underestimated your strength. You thrived without the warmth of memories, you blossomed, and never once did you betrayal your ideals. Although everyone in your clan told you to find your meaning in battle, you proved that fighting for the sake of fighting is sad and meaningless. Your kindness touched others, allowed them to grow beyond the cage they trapped themselves in. It was this kindness that cradled me during the endless nights in prison, and it is this kindness upon which the merger of our clans and, in a sense, the Seven Deadly Sins are build.

Do you remember how we met again, as comrades?

I had given up hope to see you after all these years, but there you stood, alive and more beautiful than I could have imagined in my most luxurious dreams. You hid your face behind your hair, and you blushed when the Captain introduced you. How many careful, affectionate glances did you throw his way? And I hovered right there beside you, drunk with delight and on the brink of tears.

Yes, I was jealous. How I pulled my hair every single time you snatched the Captain into an embrace. No one deserved you in my mind, least of all an ill-mannered, inconsiderate man of Meliodas’ caliber. My respect for him probably made it worse. I watched him like a hawk, desperate to find a flaw that would prove he wasn’t worthy of your praises. I made a fool out of myself.

Hey, don’t laugh, if he or anyone else came along and played with your feelings like that, I would stare him to the ground and then chase Chastifol after him. What more can I say to convince you of my devotion for you? I’ve never learned the humility to share what I love. We should put this on a list of things you still have to teach me.

But there were good moments with the Sins too, even back then. Our missions brought us closer together and so did the plethora of parties we celebrated afterwards. The alcohol might have clouded my senses then and again, but I still recall the best parts. Your face illuminated by ten thousand candles on ten hundred chandeliers during our mission in Lothien. Your story about the first time you went fishing and pulled a twenty-feet Dragon Trout from the lake. Your laugh when Ban dove headfirst into the barrel with Aberdeen Ale.

Each day I watched you, and each day your beauty grew, until I was convinced a shower of daisies and primroses rained down on me whenever you passed me by.

But this chapter had to come to an end also.

Without you, where was I supposed to go? To an empty cave in the rain? To a forest I hadn’t seen in half a millennium, a ruin of ash and smoke and burnt seeds? Loneliness was my companion and misery my only driving force. Without you, I allowed anger and prejudice to cloud my judgement, I allied with knights I didn’t trust to hunt down a knight I should have learned to trust years ago. Shadows arose unseen to me, and I allowed them to seep into my heart. I became one with the evil my bitterness gardened. And then you returned to my life, side by side with Ban and the Captain, a smile on your face and a greeting for me on your lips.

Yes, without you, I wouldn’t have rejoined the Sins. Not for the princess’ pleas, not for the Captain’s orders, not even for Elaine’s sake. You, Diane, you made me stay. Blessed by your kindness, gifted with your cheer, awarded with the sight of your sleeping form under a firmament of thousands of stars, I followed you into battle.

A battle in Liones, where you gave me hope that perhaps you did remember the cave in the sun.

A battle amidst the labyrinth of Vaizel, where we fought our predecessors and lost our Captain but gained one another.

A battle high up in the marble remains of a Goddess temple, where I remembered all the promises I made to you and learned to fly.

And a battle against the Demon King, the fate of the world on our shoulders, life as we knew it on the brink of collapse, where I at last found the courage to ask you the ultimate question.

Do you remember?

Now, your hand rests in mine, and I will never let go. I know the contours of your palm better than I know my own, all the hills and fissures and your heartbeat pulsating underneath, but I will never get tired of stroking the skin to hear your giggles. The light seeps through a canopy of birch leaves and paints beautiful patterns onto your face. Let me hold you close and listen to your steady breath. Let me hum a soft lullaby to you. Let me be at peace while your head leans against my shoulders and your hair tickles my cheek.

You are my pearl, my one in five thousand chance, my strong and beautiful rock in an ocean of worries.

You are you.

And I love you.

[sxveme-2]

hidden // din djarin

description: the life of nobility wasn't one for everyone. some would rather duck under the shadows around them, especially after a great betrayal to the name of a planet. but despite being hidden, not everyone can avoid the blinding lights of danger. whether it be those after those who had escaped, or the poor bounty hunter who ended up picking her up. both with a large bounty on their heads.    follow Cloak as she lives the days as an escaped noble, hiding from the eyes of serenno after the fall of count dooku, shacking up with one of the most sought after child and the mandalorian unfortunate enough to have a big heart.

Chapter two: the one with her new job

warnings: swearing

words: 3016

       "shining light, come see me." her mother cooed, beckoning the young girl towards her bed in the large and grand room around her. her voice was weak and cracked halfway through, the effects of her illness continuing to push through the inevitable strength the queen had.

       the young ten year old pushed off of the chair where she sat, reading a classic serennian tale to her mother. shutting the leather bound book, she hopped off of her tufted chair and walked towards the woman. her deep blue gown shifted around her gently, tickling at her bare ankles as she took a seat on the satin comforter that covered her mothers weak and failing body. those cold hands found themselves on the supple and tanned hands of the queens sole child. they were skeletal like, and she felt sick just thinking about it.

      "can I ask a favour of you?" the dying woman whispered out, eyes fluttering shut before being forced open once more. those same eyes that reflected in the youngers head.

      "of course mama." she whispered, eyes watering at the state of the woman she idolized.

      "I need you to take care of the children in the galaxy, when I am gone." the cooed, voice falling weaker with each syllable, "you are always so great with them."

       "mama don't say that, you'll be okay. father has the best doc- "

       "don't play the fool, my shining light," the queen laughed weakly, "I grow weaker with each breath. you mustn't let your ideals blind the reality of the situation. it will only hurt more if you do so. I need you to promise this for me though...please."

        "I promise mama." she whispered back, watching the light in her mothers eyes fail to exist as her own name fell from the queens lips for the last time.

-----

       "I don't do being a nanny." she stated, going to turn away.

       a part of her longed to take the job. to fulfill a promise she made more than a decade ago to a dying woman. a dying icon. but she couldn't bare to do it. she knew that if she took the job that the death would be true, that she fulfilled the dying wish of her. reliving the light draining from her eyes. hearing her name spoken from loved lips the last time. it killed a part of her every time she took the job to watch the children of the town. but those were children of her area, and were at most two days. this...this was a full time job. along with healing and caring for the hunk of metal that had dropped into the hanger that same day.

       a tug on her cloak turned her back around.

      "Cloak you're stuck in a rut here. I can't stand seeing you wake up and wander the sand dunes everyday searching for something you won't find here. out there, out in the galaxy, you can. and you will." peli stated, "I won't let you turn this down. I just won't."

       "who said I even agreed?" that same robotic like voice called from beside her.

       "I did," peli scoffed, "because you trust my judgement. Cloak here is an amazing healer and amazing with kids. you can't keep bringing him with you on missions.  you're taking her." the mechanic concluded, dusting her hands off.

       "...how much would I have to pay her?" the man asked.

       she stared at him with eyebrows furrowed and nose creased. she didn't want the job...no, that's not true. she wanted the job. she didn't want the commitment. it was too long for her. because she'd be fulfilling that damn promise. the promise of a dead queen. eighteen years later or not, she had yet to come to terms with the loss. because it was after that loss that her entire life fell down a hill. it ate her alive everyday, knowing there must have been something she could do to stop it. but there wasn't. as far as she knew, the death was caused by an illness naturally, no foul play involved. but her heart didn't believe it, it didn't make sense. not with how fast her father married another and began another family.

        "substantial, maybe even a bit handsomely. when I tell you she's the best, I mean it. no one would be able to come within an inch of the little guy without meeting the maker." peli chuckled, turning her attention back to her, "you're going, Cloak. would you rather die on this desert like the rest of us?"

       "yes."

       "oh don't be like that. you're taking it. now come, let's pack you up."

-----

       she could have just refused. hopped on her speeder with reddan and sped off across the planet and found some town to plant her roots. or be killed by tusken raiders. either worked for her. but instead, she found herself lugging a bag onto a newly some-what repaired razor crest alongside a mandalorian and a little green child. with a new title to her name. caregiver. she was now in charge of keeping the child alive alongside mando. someone who she already disliked a bit anyways. he was too...she wasn't sure. she just knew it wasn't him she was doing this for. she took the job, or was forced into taking it, mostly because she could just tell the kid would be better off. but also, she could hear her mother reaming her from the other side. despite her convincing herself she would never fulfill the promise, she had already. sort of. with the children of tatooine. but she knew the risks of expanding off of tatooine, and letting herself be known elsewhere in the world.

       "this place is a mess." she muttered, dropping her bag and looking around the ship, "I may very well be a blessing for you."

       "not if you keep talking, you won't be." he scoffed, walking past her and up a ladder towards what she could assume was the cockpit.

      she watched as he walked up. hearing the door to the cockpit shut, she ducked into the refresher. pulling off the large hood of her cloak and ditching the goggles, she let out a satisfying breath as her mask fell from her face. chocolate brown hair fell into her eyes as she stared at the small mirror in front of her. she saw the dead queens reflection in her own, her mother. the two looked so much alike. hazel eyes with a dominant hue of green. a perfectly swooped nose. cupids bow lips that were full and plump. her own were chapped and rough now, from five years of hiding underneath a mask on a dry planet. her high cheekbones sat perfectly under her eyes. whenever she saw them she remembered how clearly she could see her mothers on the final days of her life.

       she hated her face for those very reasons.

       her mother was the best person she had ever known. she was kind and caring, stern but nurturing. she cared for her more than her father ever had. the queen would read her to sleep every night, even when she became ill. she would wander into her mothers chambers and sleep with her many nights, especially near the end. her mother was unable to walk most of the time, so she simply was read to sleep in her bed. it wasn't like her father would wind up in it anyways. on her mothers final day, she read to her the entire day. feeling as though she needed it more.

       a day didn't go by where she didn't miss her. the warm smile. the soft touches. the hugs. the tea parties. the soft singing voice. her kind words. everything. everything about the queen made her heart break. because she knew she'd never be that person to someone. a family wasn't anywhere in her sights. she could barely look at herself in the mirror, let alone fall in love with someone enough to raise a family. she didn't need to be that person. she'd rather be the lone caretaker and runaway. not having any real identity or attachment to someone.

       "if you're done in there. I'll show you where you'll sleep." mando called through the steel door between them.

        sliding her mask on over her mouth and nose and over her forehead, and returning her goggles to her forehead, she slid the navy blue cloak along her arms and pinned it in the front, pulling the hood over her head before sliding open the door to reveal the warrior. nodding quickly, the two made their way around a few boxes to a tiny cot she would be sleeping on.

       "mind if I hang a curtain up around it." she stated, not waiting for an answer as she hooked a spare piece of fabric onto a few chains and attached it to a pipe above the bed, "don't need you creeping around."

        "don't flatter yourself." he grumbled, crossing his arms, "we're heading to nevarro. there's only so much peli could do. though if you had actually helped maybe there could've been more done."

        "alright buckethead let's not get ahead of ourselves." she muttered, bending down and picking up the child, "does this thing have a name?"

        "grogu. and he's not a thing."

        "...well then what is he?"

        "I don't know." he concluded, before walking back up the ladder. leaving her alone with the small creature she was now tasked to look after.

        dropping her head down, her eyes caught those large brown ones of the child. a smile broke out on her face as he showed his small teeth in a wide grin. she had to admit, he was really cute, and very loveable already. the way he would tilt his head or make small noises at her. how his sack like clothing covered his miniature body. her heart melted a bit each time he would coo at her and smile. until he would go and grab at her mask, like in that instance.

        "okay kid, you're cute but we've got to work on boundries."

-----

      "ever been here?" mando asked as the razor crest touched down on the planet.

      readjusting the dark blue material of her cloak, she glanced over at him from underneath her goggles, "no. and please don't try to be friendly. I know you don't want me as much as I don't want to be here."

      "just making conversation," he muttered, opening up the hatch, "if you don't want to be here why'd you take the job?"

       picking up grogu and tucking him into her arm, she let out a forced chuckle, "I guess I just had a promise to fulfill."

       without another word, the two walked from the ship out into the heat of nevarro. it was true, had never been to the planet. she had been to many places all across the galaxy, being who she was and all.  she visited lesser planets to listen to her father and his wife make false promises, all while their children and her would stand by idly. she would often find herself wandering off from the family and giving loose credits to the young children and told them stories. those were her favourite memories, where she was alone and had the resources to give to those who never had enough, while she had plenty.

        the two stepped down onto the dark ground, and the young child in her arms cooed. she smiled gently under her mask as they walked forward, readjusting the beige sack on her shoulder with the child's things. she wasn't sure what he exactly needed other than food, and that she could have just left on the ship or purchased something for him. but alas, mando had handed it to her so she didn't argue...he was sort of her boss now. despite the fact she will most likely not be listening to most of the things he told her to do. worst comes to worst, he drops her back off at tatooine.

         "look who it is." a woman's voice called as they continued walking forward, "nice to see you again, mando. who's this?"

         "hello cara," he returned, before glancing down at the girl carrying the kid, "this is um...I actually don't, know her name."

         "Cloak." she stepped in, reaching her free hand forward, "just call me Cloak. nice to meet you." she introduced, shaking the woman's hand.

         she lowered her eyes slightly at the woman before her. her voice seemed familiar, something that she could have sworn she had heard before. wracking her mind, she wasn't sure where but everything about her seemed so familiar. nothing seemed to pop up, but the words she spoke and the way she held herself as well as her stature was something that she knew. back on her home planet she had had stormtroopers at her home, due to threats and different things. and the tattoo on cara's arm gave her clue to her past. there had to be some co-relation...but she supposed right now wasn't the time for her to dive deep into her own past.

         "nice to meet you, Cloak." she smiled, nodding down at the child she was carrying, "so are you this little guys new mom or something?"

         "caretaker." mando stated, brushing past the two and walking further into the town that laid ahead of the group.

        letting out a sigh, she nodded and looked up at the taller woman, "yes. I'm here to take care of the child and make sure he doesn't get himself killed, I supposed." she hummed, readjusting the child.

         "it's nice to see he's gotten help, come on. let's let the mechanics finish up the job." cara hummed, gesturing for her to follow along as they walked behind the man,"...so you two like a thing or am I reading the tension wrong?"

        a small cringe flexed on her face at the idea of anyone reading them anything like a couple or something like that. the two had only really known each other for a day or so. and the only reason either agreed was because both trusted peli's judgement and her own deep and philosophical growth within. there was nothing romantic and she was almost repulsed at the idea of ever being romantic with him. she wasn't a fan of his pompous attitude and she was sure he wasn't a fan of not knowing what she looked like as a security measure. she was sure if there were anyway, he would scan every record in the galaxy to learn who she was. however...she would do anything in the galaxy to ensure he never did.

        "no," she stated simply, "no nothing of the sorts. I don't enjoy sitting in the same room with him for more than a few minutes at a time." she shrugged, glancing to the side at the woman.

        "I see," cara nodded, "kid seems to like you. that's what's most important to him." the brunette chuckled, "though we won't stray too far for the first while. that kid is the most important thing to him."

       she nodded and looked down at the little wrinkled green kid in her arms. she smiled softly under her mask, running her gloved thumb gently over his forehead and chuckling at the little noises he made. the way he would grab at her finger and smile whenever the two locked eyes. but he had yet to get over his habit of trying to grab at her mask and she figured he never would. she would have preferred that he grabbed at her hood instead, seeing as that was simply an extra precaution to hide her identity. he was one hundred percent taking over her heart, and she knew she had already become attached to the child. but the man that came with him? she wasn't entirely sure yet.

       she recalled how she was with her own half brother. the two seemed similar. there was a large age gap between her and the young boy that her father created with the witch of a woman she called her step-mother. both were very grabby and smiley, and were able to brighten the room or galaxy with simply a smile. nodine was his name. she loved him very much, and a part of her wondered how someone like her younger brother had come from people such as her father and step mother, let alone related to the monster that was her half sister. the venom that now seeped through the veins of her old family was only slightly cured by that bright smile and kind words of nodine. he was the one thing that made her second guess her fleeing from her home planet. she pondered taking him with her, but she knew it would be no life for a kid like him. he deserved a life of stability and comfort. maybe that was another reason she found herself inclined to take the job with mando and grogu.

      "well I promise I'll take good care of him.  I do quite enjoy children." she stated simply, readjusting her position holding the child once more.

      "he definitely seems like he likes you." cara stated, "now c'mon. why don't we get you and the little guy something to eat hm?"

       nodding along, the two continued walking along closely to mando, only to find themselves paused right out front of a stall where mando was meeting with another man. he was taller and had a seemingly warm smile. she was slightly hesitant, for the air around the two men seemed a bit tense as they spoke in a hushed tone. glancing over at cara once more, she noticed the girl had wandered forward to the group. yet hadn't invited her. as much as she wanted to walk forward and join the trio as well, she figured it wasn't exactly her place. sighing softly, she bounced the young child her arms, glancing down at a bit of fruit at another one of the stalls. only to be interrupted by the large man of metal.

       "we have a job here."

[nekokoaa]

Wolves Among Us - Bakugo x Reader (XI)

Wolves Among Us – Bakugo x Reader

Series Warning: Fantasy AU, Fluff, NSFW

(Chapter XI/??) All chapters in AO3 and masterlist

Hey guys! It's been a while! Sorry about that. School's a killer. Thank you guys for being so patience and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

PS: The title of this chapter is a play on the phrase “the pot calling the kettle black”. I honestly didn't know what to name this chapter but I thought this fit the best and I was trying to be all creative lol

Chapter Warning: I guess a bit of blood?

Taglist: Edit*** Totally forgot to add this whoops DDX If you read this chapter ignore the tag lol******

@freedom-for-bum @reallyfuckingangrylatina @risarisarisaa @ashherssss @mels-heart @xa-dia @shanty-lol @amkxh @chims-kookies @fantasticapple @thalia-luna-hawthorn

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XI: The Human Calling the Wolf Beast

Staring at the cavernous hole between his legs was a reminder for Izuku how old and raggedy the outhouse was. Tall wooden walls closed around him. They were rotting with age as a green substance took over the wood’s natural gray color. Izuku had questioned how this place was still standing with the amount of snow storms they had over the months and even the spiders cuddled within their webs in the upper corners of the outhouse had deemed this place safe against the outside forces. The urge to sleep was still upon him that he had not yet realized he had emptied his bladder. He stayed staring into the abyss under him, the sights beyond it shrouded in darkness, he would not know of the amount of defecation huddled at the bottom, nor in this state, did he care.

With a quick shake of his cock in his hands, he stuffed it under the rims of his pants, lifting the waistline until it hugged just under his waist. He exited the outhouse, its door creaking loudly as soon as it was touched, and he kneeled in front of a pile of snow and began to lather his hands in it. It was something his mother taught him whenever there wasn’t any water around to wash his hands. He knew most men would’ve carried on without their hands ever touching water after using the bathroom, and he wanted to believe he wasn’t like most men as what his mother would’ve said. You’re not like most men, Izuku. He heard from time to time again usually whenever he helped her with cooking or cleaning, it wasn’t said as an insult but rather a delightful compliment, pleased at her son for what he has grown up to be.

He wondered what she was doing now. He left her without a word but left a note by the kitchen table under the constraints of a fork. Perhaps, she would read it and leave searching for him or would trust his judgement, ultimately trusting him. Whichever the case, Izuku knew his mother tended to be as soft as him (it was where he got it from), but he believed hidden behind that softness was uncontained determination and once she worked towards a goal, it would be completed with failures and all.

He had a similar outlook. His goal was to find you and so he did, but now he questioned what would come after. Would you still be able to come back to the village despite them declaring you dead?

Izuku sighed inaudibly as the snow crunched under his boots before he reached the backdoor of the cabin. He kicked his boots against the wooden floors, the snow falling from his hooves and left behind at the door. Unfortunately, the cabin didn’t have any lanterns on the walls of its hallway, so the trail of darkness continued to pour through the cabin. Izuku had thought ahead and the tray of a candle he left at the floor was picked up and relit by a match. He walked down the hall, past the kitchen while the floorboards creaked under his weight and in between the bathing room and the kitchen was his room, its door was left ajar. Right across his room was your room and before he could retire for the night, he heard faint sounds coming from behind your door.

At first, he hesitated. He wasn’t sure about a man going into a woman’s room in the late of night. Yes, he grew up with you and there were plenty of days where he slept in your room as a child and vice versa but now as adults, as sexuality buds, even being in close proximity of a person’s room of the opposite sex was a little nerve-wracking.

He was about to abandon the idea to check up on you, already grasping his doorknob and pushing his door open until:

“H-Help…!” A terrible shriek had come.

It wasn’t a second longer until Izuku threw your door open. He expected the worst, like a robber had snuck in while he was using the bathroom or perhaps that wolf from hell was back to torment you and him again. But instead, he stumbled upon you on your bed, tousled limbs in the air as if you were possessed. You were shrieking, tears drowning your face, and dripping onto the mattress as well as your blood that was oddly seeping through the bandages.

He called your name in distress, placing the candle down on a table before grabbing you up by your arms. You started fighting his hold, thrashing your arms to where it nearly hit him in the face. “Wake up! It’s a dream!” He sounded desperate, afraid that if he used any more of his strength that he would hurt you in the process.

“Katsuki…!” You began calling for the wolf from hell and Izuku’s heart sank. How could you still think of him in a positive light when he put you in this position? When he hurt you? He gulped, putting those thoughts behind him when your eyes had shot open. He assumed the fighting would stop, but your eyes being open wasn’t a signifier that you were awake. The screaming remained, the fighting remained, and the calling of a certain wolf’s name remained.

Izuku was suddenly reminded of a moment in time where you had woken up from a fright. Around the age of 5, you woke up crying, reaching out to a startled small Izuku besides you. You were aware you were awake, but you cried for your mother instead, even though she was already dead by that time. Young Izuku, as chivalrous as he was during that age, started to shush you, pulling you into a hug and rubbing your back as you sobbed into his chest. It worked as a spell, quieting you down to whimpers as soft as Izuku’s whispers. “It’s okay, ____... I’m here. I’m right next to you…”

So, he held you close to his chest despite your thrashing and his hand held the back of your head, your hair fell between his fingers, and his lips softly pressed against your temple. He brought his other hand over your back, large fingers treading over your shoulders.

“Shh… I’m right here. I’m here…” His breath bounced against your heated forehead when he spoke, his voice smooth like pudding as he pressed his lips to your head again. And just like long ago, you settled down in his arms, returning his hug weakly, your fingers clutched at his back until his shirt crinkled in your grip.

No matter who you called for, as long as Izuku was there, he would embrace you until all was well again.

…

You have never seen the sky so blue before as it hovered over your body, infinite vastness of sapphire stretched past the horizon, beyond the mountains and hills below. The wind swooshed below you, whipping through your hair as it wildly hit your cheeks. It tangled within the air above you, moved by the force from below. Your stomach felt like it was floating in your body, weightless as it twisted and churned the feathery feeling that danced around in your midsection.

How long has it been since you were falling? You couldn’t recall, but it felt like eons since you were on the ground.

…

Izuku was up tending your wound for hours. Before he knew it, the sun had risen into skies covered with thick clouds and heavy snowflakes plummeted to the ground. The chattering of the doors and windows were a reminder of how strong this storm had grown overnight. The cabin could no longer keep the cold out as it was seeping through the tiny cracks between the walls. Already, Izuku could feel you shivering yet he did not know whether it was from the cold or the fever that developed overnight. He knew your wound was quite grave, but he didn’t know it would’ve resulted in a fever. The odd part for him was that no matter how much pressure he added or how tight he wrapped the bandages; your wound wouldn’t stop bleeding. At this rate, you would die from blood loss in just a few hours.

Izuku’s panic urged him to move swiftly, wrapping clean bandages for the umpteenth time around your arm. He was already running out of stock and soon decided it was time to go out to the nearest town to buy some more bandages, ointments, and hopefully stitches.

“I won’t be gone for long,” he whispered, bringing a hand to briefly brush your bangs off your forehead. It was devastating how some strands stuck to your skin because of your sweat. Your skin lacked your usual vibrant color and was left with a pale variant of it. The skin under your eyes were darkened, leaving a sickly appearance if one were to gaze at you. At times, you would wake up, spewing incoherent mumbles before falling back to sleep. It was like your body was desperately trying to conserve all of your energy to heal you, so you couldn’t stay awake for more than a few minutes.

Just as you grew sicker by the hour, Izuku’s hatred for Katsuki grew to new heights. He began cursing the wolf for what he has done to you. As much as he blamed Katsuki, he blamed himself for the lack of courage he had to save you from him. He should’ve been more protective of you when he started to notice your obsession with wolves. Maybe he could’ve convinced you not to pursue your curiosity and you being deemed dead by the village wouldn’t have happened. Regretting the past did nothing to the results of the present. And so, he would have to live with his guilt until you somehow recovered from this.

Izuku soon left you, throwing on his heavy coat stuffed to the brim with cotton and lined with sheep wool. He slipped on his boots that he left near the door of your room and grabbed a small pouch packed with his money off the table. He quickly made his way to the front of the cabin. Already, he could hear the whistling of the harsh wind outside blowing through the trees and against the cabin, but he wouldn’t let that stop him. His mind was already set on going, he risked his life once for you and he wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.

The cabin door was thrown open by the force of the wind once Izuku had unlocked it. The snow began assaulting the wooden floors, piling on top of itself until it created tiny hills. Izuku panicked at the amount of snow that was already in the cabin and he threw himself outside to try to get the door to close.

But he didn’t get far as he was stopped by a figure that was standing just a bit from the cabin. Not even the snow pelting the ground or the fog lingering in the area was prominent enough to hide the beauty of the woman standing in front of him. Her skin was as pale as the snow around her while her cheeks were the opposite and tinted with bright pink. Her lips were small, her nose was small, but her eyes were large, bright, and rich in brown and her eyelashes worked as curtains for them. Her hair was in a bob that curled at the ends against her cheeks and the color of her hair reminded him of almonds. His favorite snack.

“What are you doing out here? It’s dangerous!” He tried to yell over the howl of the wind, but it was impossible. The storm was too powerful. So, he grabbed the woman by her shoulders and ushered her inside the cabin and with all his might, he pulled the door against the wind and locked it shut, letting out a heavy sigh of relief when he leaned his forehead against it. He felt it was vibrating softly, just another reminder at how brutal the storm was. He thought this woman was crazy for being out there, but he assumed the worst. Maybe she needed help or didn’t have shelter from the storm. He was about to question her, but she spoke first.

“You’re Izuku, right?”

“H-How…?” His words faltered when he turned around to face the woman and spotted almond colored wolf ears sitting on top of her head. He blinked at them for a moment, questioning their appearance as they weren’t there when he first spotted her. He almost shrieked at the sight of them, but he held his composure, breathing deeply before he narrowed his eyes at her. There could only be one reason why a wolf would suddenly show up at this cabin.

“What do you want? You couldn’t possibly be here to see her.”

“What makes you think I’m not?” She wasn’t surprised at his hostility. He was human after all. “I wanted to see if she was still alive…”

Why do you care? Was what he wanted to say but he held his tongue for reasons struck by fear. She wasn’t as threatening as Katsuki, but she was still a wolf. “Of course, she is. But she’s hurt… I’m sure you know how. You were probably there.”

“Yes, I was.”

“I’m sorry, but I was going to go out and buy some medicine for her. So, if you would—”

“It won’t work.”

“What?”

“She won’t be healed by that.”

“What do you mean…?” Izuku hated the look on her face. How her brows knitted together and formed the creases between her eyes. It didn’t match with her beauty. She looked up at him like she was begging for him to hear her out. He found himself complying, no longer able to stand her expression. With a nod, he led her to your room and he couldn’t forget the look in her eyes when she saw you. The color of your skin spoke of your lifespan. At best, a day was all you had left.

“This is horrible…” Izuku heard her mumble as she squeezed her hands into fists. She couldn’t believe the drastic change of your appearance. Just a couple of days ago you were vibrant and gushing about Katsuki to her. Even though you were upset at him, she still saw the love blossomed in your eyes whenever you spoke of him. You always found a reason to talk about him even if it was just a rant. And the moments where you would suddenly daze off, she had no doubt in her mind that it was Katsuki filling your thoughts.

“How did you find us anyway?”

“Her blood. I followed the scent of her blood.”

“Ah—O-Okay,” Izuku scratched the side of his head. It wasn’t that he was confused but more taken aback by her response. It wasn’t everyday where you hear of someone tracking by the scent of blood. Wolves were truly different when compared to humans. “So… would you mind explaining what you meant before? Why wouldn’t medicine work for her?”

She sighed heavily, turning her large brown eyes on Izuku. “Katsuki—I’m sure you know—the wolf from yesterday? He—He’s special. He’s not like the rest of us. He’s the direct descendant of our ancestor and next in line as pack leader. Because of that, Katsuki inherited abilities from him. We call it ‘The Curse of Fenrir’.”

“The Curse of Fenrir…?” It sounded terrifying to Izuku, but it grew his curiosity.

“Yes, sometimes we just call it ‘The Curse’ but if a human gets hurt by Katsuki, any damage inflicted by his claws or fangs would never heal.”

“Never heal…?”

“At least not with medicine or on its own. Katsuki himself would have to heal the wound by cleaning it.”

“So, the only way for ____ to be healed is if that wolf does it.”

Ochako nodded, “I tried to convince Katsuki to do it but… he’s still upset about what happened.”

“She’s going to die any day now and he won’t heal her? I-I have to go convince him… I—” Izuku began gathering his things and before he could trudge past Ochako, she grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“I have no doubt if Katsuki sees you, he’ll kill you. Right now, you should stay by her side. I’ll try and talk to him again—"

“I can’t just sit here and watch her die. I have to at least do something!”

“I’m not asking you to. Katsuki,” she tried to find the words with a brief bite of her lips. “Katsuki cares about her. He wouldn’t let her die. I know he wouldn’t.”

“This is the same wolf who did this to her. I refuse to believe I have to only rely on such a b-beast to save my friend.”

It was odd. Ochako the other day was calling Katsuki the same thing yet hearing it from Izuku had lit a small flame of anger within her. It didn’t feel like it was only towards Katsuki but towards her kind as a whole.

“Beast? You hardly know him, or us, matter of fact,” she spoke with a growl in her voice.

“After what he did, how can he be anything other than that?”

“You sound as if humans never acted irrational before. For all the havoc you guys cause, from destroying lands, nature, and my people, why aren’t you considering yourselves beasts?”

Izuku’s silence spoke volumes. He stared back at Ochako, stunned by her words.

“That’s because you humans only ever look at yourselves and never consider the differences around you. We may be ‘beasts’ but that doesn’t mean we don’t have emotions like humans. We live just like you, eat just like you, we have family like you. Katsuki getting angry for seeing a woman he likes in the arms of another man doesn’t make him a beast because I’m sure you humans would’ve reacted the same way.”

“I was only speaking of him.”

“Speaking of him is speaking of all of us.”

Izuku frowned. The anger in his eyes falter significantly and what was left was pure guilt about his words. “I’m-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—"

“It’s okay,” she sighed. “I’m just... tired of this divide. We’re practically cousins by species but it seems like we’ll never get along.”

“Maybe a lot of forgiveness and forgetfulness would do the trick?” Izuku shrugged his shoulders with a smile all too pure that it evaporated any anger she previously felt towards him. She had never seen a smile so kind, at least, from a human (other than you) that was directed at her.

“Probably, we’ll need a lot of it, for sure,” she laughed.

…

Katsuki had enough. It was easier to say that he could forget about you after your ‘betrayal’ but he found himself wondering about your wellbeing more than he would’ve liked. No woman had ever had this effect on him before. He was always able to forget about them. But for you, he couldn’t help but feel attached to you. Even as he laid on the sheep wool bedding, turning around he half expected to see you asleep by his side. But when he saw nothing but the cave’s walls ahead, he knew he could no longer handle being away from you.

Katsuki knew of his abilities and he knew when he had slashed you, it was possible that it would’ve been the last time he saw you alive. His stubbornness kept him from chasing after you. In fact, he was afraid to admit that at that time, he believed you were better off dead than in the arms of another man. It scared him greatly at how attached he felt to you that he would rather wish for your death than for you to be away from him.

But he came to realize at that moment when Ochako stormed out of his cave in tears after his threats and the air of his cave was reduced of your scent the longer you were absent from it, he questioned if this was truly how he wanted to live. A life without you seemed impossible when you were with him and now it could very much be his reality.

…

“I’ll try to convince Katsuki. I know he won’t let her die.”

Izuku was seeing Ochako to the door. His eyebrows furrowed at the sound of the raging wind outside. The door was chattering at the force of it. “Are you sure you’ll be okay traveling in this storm?”

“Yeah, of course,” she chuckled softly. “I’m a wolf, remember?”

It didn’t matter what she was, Izuku was still worried. He leaned against the wall and buried his hands within his pants pockets. “I know, still, be careful out there, Ochako.”

Ochako smiled. She never had someone so concerned about her wellbeing before especially not a human. All they did was run at the sight of her or try to kill her but to have one worry about her even after knowing her capabilities as a wolf was a refreshing feeling. “I will be.”

Izuku gave her a small smile before she left into the blistering weather and faded into the fog. It was a hassle closing the door but Izuku managed with his strength and locked it before he retired back to your room.

…

As the night started settling into the day, the storm had reached its peak. The winds were blowing at high speeds capable of knocking anyone off their feet. Fog and snow obscure all sight as no one could barely see a few inches in front of them. Walking outside was a death sentence for any human.

But not for wolves.

Katsuki hiked through the forest as if he weren’t phased by the forces of nature. The winds may be slowing down his speed, but the fog and snow only slightly obscured his vision. Even his sense of smell was still functioning normally as he followed the scent of blood that was being carried with the wind. It was sweet and awfully familiar, and it made his mouth water with desire. Katsuki knew exactly who it belong to.

He followed the scent until it led him to a cabin that was slowly being buried by the snow. A quarter of the front door was already submerged in it, but it didn’t stop Katsuki from figuring out another way in. He followed where the scent of blood was most prominent to the side of the cabin and there was a window in which he effortlessly lifted open and climb inside.

His crimson eyes had zeroed in on nothing in the room but the person lying in bed, pale and nearly lifeless. That person was you. He refused to believe that’s what you’ve become because of him. You were a person so vibrant and beautiful that it could nearly make Katsuki cry at the sight of your presence and now you lacked the light that made you shine—that made Katsuki love you.

He walked to you. The wooden flooring creaked under his weight with his slow steps. Even as he tried to walk without making a sound, being gentle was just one thing Katsuki couldn’t do correctly. He regretted the moment he got closer to you because he saw the discoloring around your eyes and the cold sweat damping your pale skin. You were lying on your back without any covers and the wound on your arm that was wrapped in bandages were being soaked with your blood. The sweet smell lingered around the room no doubt making Katsuki’s mouth water, but he was too deep in his sorrow to act on his urges.

What kind of lover was he to hurt you like this? To make you suffer until you were tethering in and out of the underworld? He yearned to see your smile again, your smile that made his heart flutter in ways it had never before, to look at him with your bright eyes that embodied the feeling of love only for him, to have you in his arms again, so small and fragile yet fit perfectly within them. And the sound of your voice when you would call his name had him wishing he could listen to it on repeat.

Katsuki’s hands formed into fists, his claws dug into his palms so hard that it punctured his skin and his blood slipped between his clenched fingers and fell upon the floor. He fucked up. He fucked up so bad that he couldn’t see how he deserved to stay with you. You didn’t deserve someone like him. Someone who would hurt his lover because he couldn’t control his anger. How could he possibly protect you if he couldn’t protect you from himself?

A low growl had sounded from him and already the wound on his hands had healed up on their own. Katsuki sat on your bed and grabbed your injured arm. He unwrapped the bandages and revealed the gash that showed no signs of healing. He grimaced at it, not because of its grotesque appearance but because he was the one who had caused it.

He didn’t hesitate to drag his tongue on your wound, gasping and growling at the delicious taste that had his saliva spilling from his lips. But he couldn’t enjoy it like the last time he had taste your blood. He moved desperately, diligently with a goal to cure you of this curse.

You, on the other hand, had stirred in your long slumber with your eyebrows furrowed and teeth biting lips. Your pale complexion became flush in color, panting and mewling at the feeling of Katsuki’s tongue against you. He couldn’t tell if you were in pain or pleasure, but he couldn’t stop the fuzzy feeling building within his loins. You moaned softly, breathlessly and Katsuki glanced at your face with his glowing red eyes as he licked and licked until his face was drenched in your blood.

“K-Katsuki… aahn…” Katsuki could see it. He could see the soft rolling of your hips. It was not pain you were feeling. It was far from it.

Yet he continued to lick, ignoring the desire rumbling within him. After how badly he treated you, you still thought of him as a lover. He was still someone you thought of the moment you felt pleasure and that stirred something within him that he couldn’t quite name.

He growled softly, nearly losing himself in your moans. He cleaned your wound until there was nothing but three discolored scars left. He made sure it was clean of all your blood. He wasn’t going to leave one drop of it on your skin. And when he was done, he pulled away and found you panting, flushed, and mumbling his name deliriously in your slumber. He soaked in your appearance knowing that this was going to be the last time he’ll ever see it. He decided back at his cave that he was going to heal you and then leave you. It was the best form of action he had to take for your sake. You weren’t safe with him.

Though it was a struggle for him to leave you. Your complexion was returning to normal and your breathing was finally in control. You were already starting to look like yourself again. Even the feel of your skin underneath his palm when he had reached out to caress your cheek was reaching normal temperatures. Katsuki whispered your name. It sounded so soft that it could break before it reached anyone’s ears, but it was also weighed with guilt, love, and hesitation. For once in his life, he was unsure. Can he actually live without you?

“I’m sorry…” He grunted out when he had hovered over you and pushed his forehead against yours, noses touching and lips barely brushing against each other. He repeated those words until he was satisfied as his face contorted into one of pain with knitted eyebrows and gritted teeth. He ripped himself off of you with a growl and still he was unsure. But hesitation didn’t stop him from turning his back on you. He was leaving. He had to.

Katsuki dragged himself to the window and he rewarded himself with one final glance at your sleeping form to burn you in his memory.

But what he didn’t expect to see was you staring right back at him with those beautiful half-lidded eyes that he ached to see.

“Shit.”

Oof. 

I'll be honest, I love-hate writing this chapter and I'm not sure why lol WELP I'm excited for the next chapter cause It's gonna be awesome. I'm tired of this angst, aren't you guys? Thank you guys so much for reading!! Until next chapter, loves.