#those who are here for derry girls will be happy soon though

[private-bryan]

Holiday time!!!!!

You have no idea how excited I am to actually be getting away

Of course, I have two trains, four coaches, and a ferry to go over the next 24 hours, so if there are any asks you want to send my way to keep me entertained, please send them!

[asteriismos]

Beautiful - Stanley Uris

Warning(s) : self conscious reader, eighteen! losers club, smut

Authors Note: I did this more of in a third person style, I was reading fics on ao3 and I got inspired and decided to try it out. Is this good? I am not sure

Request :

can you do a smut with Stanley where you're self-conscious about ur body but Stan wants to make you feel better by just praising you and how good you look 🥺🥺 I'm so soft for Stan 🥺🥺

Stanley Uris stood idly against the kitchen counter of Y/N’s home, watching as she cut up a red apple on the cutting board next to him. The window to their left was open, the light it let in illuminated the room with the golden setting sun. It was Saturday, a typical day where the losers would all go to the Quarry to swim or go to one of their houses and just hang around. Summers in Derry were always absolutely gorgeous, the rays of sunlight never let up until around nine at night, and the warm breeze offered solace to the people who were outside. Children rode their bikes all over, much like their group used to do before they grew up and got cars. 

After ruining his own Bar Mitzvah a few years prior, his father neglected to give Stanley the money to get his own car. His mother, however adamant, was not able to convince the stern rabbi either, so Stan was one of the only people in the group without a car. Bill was the first one, fixing up a red beamer with his father around sophomore year, and for a while, that was the car Stan would drive around when his best friend let him. The only two other people who didn’t have a car were Eddie ( who’s mother swore would get him into a wreck ) and Beverly ( for obvious reasons surrounding her father’s neglect and abuse ). 

He didn’t mind it much, to be honest. Yes, it would be nice to have a car to drive around and get places faster, but at the end of the day, riding his bike and feeling the wind in his hair was good enough for him. 

“Here,” Y/N spoke to him, pushing the apple slices she put onto a plate towards him, snapping him out of his thoughts momentarily to look at her and smile as a thank you. 

Her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head, some of the tips still wet from the group’s dive into the quarry. They both had come back to her house to hang out before Stan had to go back home for dinner.

Y/N and Stanley have been in a relationship for a few years now, ever since Stanley asked her to homecoming their freshman year of high school. In all honesty, he wasn't going to do it at first, because Stan didn’t want to make things complicated. He had liked Y/N for a long time, ever since Bill Denbrough introduced her to their group because she was in Bill’s biology class. The stuttering boy thought that she would be a good addition to the club, since she had just moved to Derry and didn’t have any friends yet. Bill was always the welcoming type, and she was not just going to turn down the chance of having not just one, but seven new friends. She got really close with Mike despite the fact that he’s homeschooled.

Richie had been the one to dare Stanley to ask her to the dance. Well, it wasn't really a thing that was out of the blue. Stan had made the mistake of talking about it with Richie, and Richie being Richie, he wasn't just going to let it go. He dared Stan to do it, which wasn’t that out of the ordinary because Richie would do this sort of thing all the time to him, tease him for being too chicken to do most things. Come on Stan the man! Grow a pair!

And so he did. It was a little bit awkward considering Y/N was still taller than him in freshman year and he hadn’t quite grown into his lanky body and hadn't figured out how to style his curly hair. And he was stuttering and going over his words so much that you could’ve mistaken him for Bill. She thought that it was cute and sweet, so of course she had said yes.

The rest was history.

As life went on and the kids grew older into mature teenagers, there still wasn't much that had changed with them personality wise. Deep down, all of them felt as if they were those scrawny fourteen year olds that used to ride their bikes around town and throw rocks into the house on neibolt streets windows for fun. The boys eventually grew taller than Y/N and Beverly, much to their dismay of course. Richie’s glasses now fit his face correctly, Bill went to speech therapy and got his stutter corrected, and Eddie didn’t use his inhaler anymore. 

They were all grown up.

It was sad to think that in just a month they would be saying bye to Derry, the place that they had grown up in for so many years. Y/N was new, only been here for five, and yet she still felt like she was losing a piece of her. She didn’t want to leave, graduation had been hard enough. The last day of school when the entire senior class were throwing all their papers off the roof of the high school in celebration, the losers instead roamed the halls of the empty school, reminiscing in the memories they had made. The biology classroom Y/N first made friends with Bill, the corner under the stairs where the group would sit during free period and study in silence, the library where each of them have shared a cry in one too many times after a failed quiz or test. It was hard to say goodbye. Each of them had a piece of themselves somewhere in Derry. Even Richie did, even though he insisted that he hated this town.

The group were adamant about hanging out every single day, since it would be their last summer here, even if it wasn't a full one. Everyone tried to stay light and happy, but as the days passed and the weeks started to add up, things were getting more and more solemn.

“Do you think we’re all going to stay friends?” Stanley asked Y/N, biting into an apple slice and looking up at her. “Like when we’re in college?”

It wasn’t the first time that he’d asked such a thing, just this time it was only to her. He had asked it that summer with Pennywise, in the club house with all of his friends except for Y/N. She came the school year right after that summer, meaning she didn't have to experience any of the horrors that came with that summer that still haunted Stan to this day. All of them said that they would stay friends no matter what and he wanted to believe that so badly, but he couldn’t help but think about the fact that they were all going to such different places, would they stay friends? 

Y/N didn’t quite know how to answer his question. Stanley always managed to ask her questions she had to think about thoroughly, he seemed to always have some sort of wandering mind filled with thoughts beyond his capability of even answering himself. He was in the smart classes in school and wanted to go to college for math and psychology, which sounded typical for Stan, two polar opposite things that he has somehow brought into one. She answered after a passing minute.

“I’d like to think that we all would.”

It wasn't exactly the answer that he was looking for, but then again, he wasn't sure what he would've liked to hear. Stan understood the uncertainty in her voice. The future was unknown to all of them, and the unknown was scary. 

The boy nodded, curls falling into his face. He brushed them away, glancing over at the time on the clock programmed onto her kitchen stove. It was almost five, he would need to get going soon, no matter how much he didn’t want to. He wanted to keep spending all the time he could with Y/N, hell, he wanted to spend his entire life with her. It was no secret that Stanley was absolutely, disastrously in love with Y/N, everyone knew. Even if you didn't explicitly know that they were in a relationship, just the way that he looked at her would be a dead giveaway. He looked at her like she was the one who controlled the sun and the stars, spinning his entire world around and around into one web filled with love. He would walk to the end of the world for her if she wanted to do. And she felt the same way about him, if not even more. She would lose herself to him.

He turned towards her and extended his arms outward, pulling her into his embrace. They sat there together like this for a while, listening to each others steady breathing and relishing in the idea of each other. Stanley couldnt help but marvel at her beauty, his eyes flicking down to stare that the part of her face he could see from the position they were in. As strands of hair fell from outside the bun and onto her face, tickling he forehead softly. Her eyelashes, which batted every time she blinked, were so long that he thought of them as flower petals upon her face.

She didn’t know how beautiful he thought she was. He knew that for certain. Every time he would mention something about her appearance she would blush and tell him that she wasn't that attractive. And it tore Stanley Uris to pieces, seeing her beat herself up about the fact that she didn’t look like the other girls that have been propped up as what a beautiful woman had to look like. No matter how many times he would hold her by the face and repeat you are beautiful over and over again, she still would have doubts. Stanley wanted to show her how beautiful she truly was, to make her feel all the love that he had for her.

His hands came to her hips and spun her around so they were looking at each other. Her warm eyes peered into his own, feigning a soft smile and giggling at the sudden action. She wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling his soft hair on her fingertips, playing with a few of the strands. She did really love his hair, and in the light of the dropping sun, the brown curly strands almost appeared to be golden. The freckles that peppered his face here and there moved with his own smile. That sight alone was breathtaking for the young girl, making her heart almost melt on the spot.

Stanley raised an eyebrow almost as a question, his face leaning towards hers. She raised herself up on her tip toes and attached their lips together, closing the gap between both of them as their arms brought each other closer and closer. It was easy to get lost in the moment for each of them, the intoxication of love is enough to make them play into their infatuations with each other. The kiss was small, pulling away after a few seconds. They stayed close, feeling each other’s hot breath on their faces. Stanley’s eyes flicked down to her lips back to her eyes. “You’re gorgeous,” He whispered to her, his grip tightening ever so slightly on her hips. 

And then there was that look again on her face, the same one that she made every single time he complimented her. It wasn’t of offense, she thought that it was so sweet that he used words like this, it was just that she didn’t feel the same way about herself. Y/N didn’t think that she was the most beautiful in Derry, there were many other better, more beautiful women here. And yet Stanley Uris picked her. She was flattered, though it never stopped the insecure thoughts she had. 

“Thank you, Stan but-”

“Don’t deny it,” Stanley interjected her, pulling his hand up and putting it across her mouth. Her eyes widened, breathing getting heavier. Her heart started to beat in her chest rapidly, feeling a blush coming up to her cheeks. “You’re way to hard on yourself, Y/N.” Stan kissed her reddening cheeks, then removed his hand and kissed her lips. This kiss was different from the previous one. This one was more passionate and feverish, which is when she realized what would probably occur if they kept kissing this way.

They’ve had sex before, a few times actually, starting around junior year last year. With both of them being virgins, they lost their virginities to each other over winter break when they were opening up presents together. Even though his family didn’t celebrate Christmas, he still insisted on giving his friends gifts, and then an extra special one for Y/N. It was a necklace that had their initials engraved on the back of it, and she knew that it must’ve cost a fortune. How did you even get this? There’s no jewelry stores in Derry? She had asked him. I went with Bill to the next town over a week ago. He replied. Y/N had yet to take it off. One thing led to each other and they were all over each other.

His lips left her own and began to trail down her neck, stopping every once a while to bite on the extra sensitive spots he knew she had. A soft mewling noise left her mouth, her eyes closing and leaning into his touch. The noises she made during their intimate affairs never failed to turn Stanley on, no matter how slight they were. Just the fact that he was the one making her that way was enough to get the dirty fantasies starting in his head.

Stanley allowed his hands to fall down her sides, fingers fiddling with the edge of the t shirt she wore. His fingertips grazed the soft skin underneath for just a second and her breath hitched in her throat, her hand reaching for his head and pulling him up so he was once again looking at her in the eyes. Her lips parted, asking, “Aren’t you supposed to be getting home soon?” She wasn't look for an excuse not to have sex, she wouldn’t ever pass up the opportunity, but Y/N didn’t want Mrs. Uris to worry about her son who was supposed to come home soon. 

“I’ll be okay. I just want to make you feel good,” Stan whispered, his head ducking down and kissing her neck again. Y/N allowed herself to relax into his touch, feeling the tension in her shoulders begin to dissipate with every kiss, nibble, and lick he put on her skin. The shirt that he had once been playing with was now off of her revealing her bare chest, dropping to the floor. They went back to kissing again, Stanley’s arms held her up by her thighs and helped her to sit on the counter. Her legs wrapped around his waist and his shirt was thrown off as well. 

He pulled for a moment and admired her, seeing the slight red marks he made on her skin, wanting - no, craving to make more on her bare breasts. And he did just that, kissing the dip in between her breasts and using one of his hands to play with one of them. His touches were so gentle, like he planned each and every single one with expertise to get just the right reaction out of her. It wasn’t the first time that he had seen her, all of her, before but it felt that way each time. He would never be able to explain in words the feeling he got when she was exposed to him. 

She was trying her best to kick off her jean shorts, pulling down the zipper herself while he continued kissing her body. Sliding them down her legs and kicking them away, Stan put his hand once again on her waist. He swears that he could compare her body to the ancient statues of goddesses in Greece, the curves and dips resembled chiseled stone, almost taking his breath away. “You’re so beautiful, baby,” he muttered, his lips kissing along her chest and stomach, not missing an inch of skin with his lips. 

They didn’t have much time, considering his need to get home, so he was quick to slide his hand into her underwear, his thumb brushing over where she needed him most. Her hips bucked into his hand, her hands pulling on his hair, his name falling out of her lips like a mantra. The way that she wanted him was something she has never felt with another person, Stanley was able to always take her to that state of arousal she couldn't achieve with herself. Two of his fingers finally slipped into her, curling slightly as they pumped in and out at an agonizingly slow pace. 

Y/N thought that if he went any slower she would die, but she knew that he was simply doing this to get a rouse out of her. Which was the truth, Stanley liked to tease her sometimes. Her hand came down and wrapped around his wrist, trying her best to get him to go faster. Stan couldn’t help but chuckle out, his lips coming up to meet hers again. 

The newly established pace along with his thumb still pressing on her bundle of nerves was already making her get closer and closer to her releasing. She was slightly sheepish at how easy he was making her come undone, but it just added onto the charm that Stanley had. He could be terribly sweet and incredibly sexy at the same time. And she knew that if he kept doing this that she would reach her high before she wanted to, she wanted to orgasm when he was inside her.

“Stanley, I want you inside me now,” Y/N was able to make out, his hand immediately stopping and pulling away from her. She didn't have to open her eyes to know that he was pulling off his jeans and boxers as fast as humanly possible, her own hands pushed down her soaking underwear. 

He pressed himself against her, his tip already slick with her arousal. “You’re so wet for me,” He muttered. “So ready.”

And then he slid inside her, both of their moans filling up the entire room. His hips jerked up, a large smack was heard as their hips hit together. Y/N tried to adjust as best as she could as he started his pace slow. Her hands reached for his face and kissed him, moaning into his mouth whenever he buried himself inside of her. The pace quickened, their skin glistening with sweat. Y/N looked so natural and beautiful that he couldn’t control the groans that left his mouth. His hand reached down in between them and started playing with her clit, her moans getting higher and more frequent. He could get off of her moans just as they were, he was sure of that. They sounded borderline pornographic, perfect coming from her pretty pink lips.

“You take me so well, princess.”

Y/N spread her legs even wider than previously, feeling him be able to get even deeper inside of her. The constant hitting of that one spot in her making her go crazy with lust. She couldn’t think, hell, she didn’t know if she was even breathing anymore. The only thing in her mind was Stanley’s name, repeating like it was the only thing that she could say or think.

Stan himself was starting to feel his high form, the constant moaning from her in his ear along with how tight she is was making him get closer and closer. He could tell that Y/N was almost there as well, her head was thrown back in pure ecstasy from the pleasure that he was receiving. So he put his lips to her ear, and whispered in probably the deepest, most lustful voice that she thinks she’s ever heard before, “Come for me.”

That was enough to do it, and soon enough Y/N was coming undone right on top of her kitchen counter. His pace didn’t stop, it was relentless as he tried to chase after his high, finally achieving it with her. They road it out together, their moans synching together like they were one. His hips began to falter, becoming more erratic until he stopped, stilling inside her and keeping his gaze on the beautiful woman in front of him.

And Y/N could see it, the way that he looked at her. He could see the love that he harbored for her as if he was waving a sign. “I love you, Stanley,” She told him.

“I love you too, Y/N,” He said, pulling out of her and kissing her softly. “And you are the most gorgeous person I’ve ever met in my entire life, don’t ever forget that, please.”

Y/N knew that she wouldn't. 

[anxiouslymalicious]

Losers Club Plus One Part 10

A Richie Tozier x daughter!reader series

Read the previous part here or go here for the full series masterlist.

A/N: Hi there! It’s been a while, I know, and I’m truly sorry! There has been so much going on in my life and I simply lost my motivation to write. However, thanks to a very dear person, I have regained said motivation and I am here to give y’all some content! The next part is already being worked on and I hope to publish it very soon!

Anyway, this is about 3k words long. I hope you enjoy!

“Bill, we’re at the library. Where are you?” Mike asked the second Bill answered his phone. The incomplete Losers Club Plus One was gathered around him, trying to listen in on what they were talking about. To say that they were worried was an understatement. But the fact that Bill had picked up was relieving, to say the least. It meant that he was still with them. It meant that IT hadn’t gotten to him. It meant that he was more or less safe. It meant that Bill was still alive and not doing anything too stupid.

“IT took a-a little k-k-kid- IT k-killed a little k-kid right in fucking front of me.” Bill sounded distraught, heartbroken. He had been crying, probably still was crying. Y/N, who was close enough to Mike to listen in on the conversation, especially felt a strong urge in her to just hug the man and tell him that it wasn’t his fault. Because it really wasn’t. But Bill thought differently. It was his fault that Georgie was taken by IT, Georgie had been taken because he hadn’t been there. And Dean, the little kid, had been killed because Bill hadn’t been fast enough. It was Bill’s fault, in his mind, and it would always be.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Mike jumped out of his seat. He had known Bill when he was a kid, he knew that Bill often made stupid decisions, and Mike was sure that Bill’s want to protect the Losers from IT was kicking in just then. If there was one thing each of them remembered about Bill, it was his unintentional heroism as he was trying to protect his friends.

“Look, just come back to the library, we can talk about the plan-“

“I’m gonna go kill IT. I don’t want any of you to get near IT. I’m gonna kill IT.” Bill said through gritted tears before hanging up, falling into a quick jog towards Silver. It was only a matter of seconds until he and Silver were fast enough to beat the devil. And the devil, they would beat.

“He’s gonna fight IT alone. Alone!” Mike said, almost as though he was concluding the very short call he and Bill just had. Mike was scared. Not only for Bill who was driven to do the stupidest things, all by Pennywise, but he was also scared for the rest of his friends. The people who had once gone down the drain with him, explored the sewers with him, fought IT with him. But most importantly, he felt scared for the new generation. Because if they failed now, if the ritual didn’t work and all of them were to end up dead, what hope did the children have left? IT would continue to attack children, eat children, tear families apart.

“What?” Richie mumbled more to himself than anyone else. And, almost as though he had the same train of thought as Mike, he looked at his daughter. The girl he had watched as she grew up and had taken care of nearly every day of her life. He felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach as he thought of the things IT would do should he and his friends fail to kill IT once and for all. Or, should she be able to escape Derry, the things she would have to live through as she got back home to LA. Would she be able to provide for herself? Who could she go to once he was gone? How would she handle all the paperwork? And oh, all those moments ahead of her that he was going to miss. Graduations, relationships, first jobs, first travels, all the accomplishments and big events in her life that he would miss. The moments that would fill her with pride but also shatter her heart if he wasn’t there.

Y/N looked up at Richie. Her mind was blank with pure worry. She hadn’t thought further than what would happen to Bill just yet, but maybe it was for the better. Maybe it was better that she didn’t worry her head with too many consequences and the horrors of IT, the true horrors of IT that she had yet to face.

“It’s- it’s about the group. The ritual doesn’t work without the group. Doing it together was why it worked.” Mike’s fear was growing, steadily consuming him. Like a shadow covering the little light of hope, he had left after noticing that the remainder of his friends had come to the library. He had felt so hopeful when he saw all of their faces, despite the horrid circumstances, in the library, knowing that they had gotten their tokens, knowing that they would face IT with him. He had trusted Bill to come back as well, he knew that Big Bill was known to stick to his friends. Leaving them to fend for themselves was not like Bill. Not at all. This wasn’t Big Bill talking, this was Bill, the author with the childhood trauma, talking. The man who had no idea how to properly end a book. They needed to show him how it’s done.

Y/N was gnawing at her thumb. It was sore and it stung a little, but it provided her comfort. Not much, but every single bit of comfort was more than welcome. Eddie saw, and pushed her arm down, hoping it would pull her out of her thoughts and get her to stop hurting herself. A million arguments as to why she shouldn’t do that, shouldn’t nibble at her nails when she was nervous, ran through his mind, he was ready to spill them out, but he bit his tongue. Y/N surely didn’t need that right now. She needed someone to take care of her. She needed her father.

With anxious eyes, Eddie searched for Richie.

Richie, lost in his thoughts and fears, wasn’t one to quickly notice. He didn’t even properly listen in on what the Losers were talking about. He heard Ben speak. Voice raspy, heavy with worry. Then Bev. Her voice was airy, light like she didn’t want anyone to hear her words because she didn’t want them to be true.

Richie looked up. He noticed that he hadn’t heard either of his loves speak up in a while. His gaze landed on Eddie immediately.

The man had slung one arm very awkwardly around his daughter, almost like Eddie wasn’t sure of his role in that particular moment, nor did he seem very confident with it. Both Eddie and Y/N were looking at Richie with raised brows and huge eyes. They resembled a pair of helpless puppies in a way.

With a few quick strides, Richie reached the pair and pulled his little girl close to him. Y/N leaned against her father. It felt strangely foreign and yet so natural to be so close to him. Her whole body seemed to still be a little confused with what was going on, how to feel about Richie, how to act around him. But Y/N knew him. And she knew his comfort. Richie was something to hold on to. Someone who had always been there. Father or not, she needed to feel at home. And that was exactly what Richie was.

Home.

“Oh, we’re not going to like this, are we?” Eddie asked, making Richie and Y/N listen in on the conversation around them again.

Y/N looked at the group. Everyone suddenly seemed much tenser. Arms crossed, faces cold, almost sorrowful looks in their eyes. Sighing, and then-

“Fuck.” Y/N whispered as something clicked in her mind. Shit was about to go down.

Derry had turned dark. Very dark. But not only the sky had lost its light, the occasional lightning on the horizon being an exception, but the town itself seemed to change. It was like the town had become one of ghosts. Barely a soul left a trace. Very few windows were lit. It was like time had stopped around Derry and no one was alive, or at least truly waking anymore. Everyone except for the Losers Club Plus One.

Y/N found herself feeling more and more like she was asleep. She couldn’t say it had been since arriving in town. Coming to Derry was strange. It was like she had started reading a book from the middle. She had a very small knowledge of what has been happening and tiny snippets of explanations were thrown her way, but nothing really. It just wasn’t enough. And the more she lost herself in the book, the twisted storylines and the even more confusing actions of the characters, the more she felt like nothing was real. Like whatever was happening wasn’t really happening and she had actually fallen asleep while reading a book.

But every book also had an ending. And not all of them were happy endings.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about, squirt?” Richie broke the silence in the car. Richie and Y/N were riding together, just like Mike and Ben and Bev and Eddie. All of the pairs were ready to beat silver. Desperate to beat silver.

“Don’t know… Just… This place, I guess. It’s strange, isn’t it?” Y/N looked at her father. His face, every now and then illuminated by the scarce light of the streetlights all around Derry, seemed so young, yet he didn’t act like he usually did. Even Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier seemed to be intimidated by the situation he found himself in.

“It is. And I never missed it.”

“You couldn’t even remember it until Mike called.”

“Because I didn’t want to.”

“So you didn’t want to remember Eddie either?” Y/N smirked.

“Damn you, squirt. Sometimes I really wish your mom would have swallowed.”

Silence.

“Do you think things will change when we get home? Like between us?” Y/N asked curiously. But there was a sliver of hurt in her voice. Richie sighed.

“I don’t think anything is going to change unless we make a change. If you don’t want things to change between us, they don’t have to. We can act like Derry never happened when we get home. We can forget about all of this.”

It was strange hearing Richie speak all wise and serious. But it felt nice. It felt nice knowing that he took Y/N and her worries seriously and didn’t just flip them off as irrelevant.

“I don’t think I want to forget.” Y/N mumbled more to herself than to her father.

Richie’s car caught up with the other two. He hadn’t noticed how far they had fallen behind until he noticed that he could barely see the other cars before them. That’s when he sped. And it felt nice. It felt like he finally regained at least a little control over something. The last time he felt so powerless and so small compared to the world was when he entered the house on Neibolt Street for the first time. When he saw how Eddie got hurt. When he tried to reposition Eddie’s broken arm and was trapped in the same room as IT.

When the group split up for the first time.

When everything somehow shifted. And they were the world’s oldest 13-year olds.

“I can see Bill!” Y/N exclaimed, sitting up straight in her car seat, hand shooting to the seat belt buckle.

“Fuck.” Richie said as he watched Bill pushing a bike away. Was that silver? Richie was sure that he somehow had gotten his trusted bike back. How exactly, Richie didn’t know. Things had a way of coming back in Derry. But it wasn’t important. What was important was getting back together.

“Bill!” Beverly yelled, effectively stopping Bill. He turned to look at her just as he was about to enter the house.

Y/N felt like she was trapped inside a bad horror movie. The house she was facing was dark, the wood it was made of looked like it defied the laws of nature as it still stood. Y/N felt like she should feel silly, she should not be able to take this house seriously. It was the definition of a bad idea, but somehow, she felt compelled to show respect. Something about it felt intimidatingly evil. She knew the house would be no good, but she didn’t expect the place they would fight IT in to be looking as shabby yet scary.

“No!” Bill yelled back as he watched the group step closer to him and the building. They all were there. Bev, Mike, Ben, Eddie, Richie, even Y/N. Y/N, who was just a little older than they were when they first encountered IT.

Bill felt tears stinging in his eyes. He didn’t want to risk his friends’ lives again. And he for sure didn’t want to be the reason another kid had to go through what he and his friends did. Or – worst of all – he didn’t want to risk seeing another kid die because of him.

“N-no, you guys, no. I st-st-started all this. I-It’s m-my fault that y-you’re all here. Th-this curse, this fucking thing- It’s inside you all. It’s s-started growing the day I m-m-made you all go down to the barrens. Bec-cause all I cared about was finding G-Georgie. Now I’m gonna go in there, I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but I c-can’t ask you to d-do this.” Bill sounded distraught.

Y/N, subliminally, wrapped her arms around her father’s right arm. Richie acknowledged it, pulling her a little closer, but remained silent as they watched Bill fall apart with the pent-up guilt. The guilt he had been living with, sometimes more and sometimes less consciously, over the past 28 years.

Bill made eye contact with Y/N. He looked at her and saw so much potential in her. So much life, so much she had yet to give the world. And he felt sorry that she was there. He felt sorry for the pain she had endured over the past hours. Physically and mentally. Bill felt sorry for the wounds and the scars that, ultimately, he was to blame for. Because none of this would have happened if he had listened to his father. If he had stopped looking for Georgie. Or better yet, if he never acted sick to avoid playing with Georgie.

Had Bill not been so selfish, Georgie would still be alive.

“But you’re not asking us.” Y/N told Bill. “We’re here because we want to be. All of us could have left, we are free to go. But we didn’t.”

Bill sighed, running a hand through his hair to push it back. It felt sweaty, his whole head felt heated and the slight breeze of evening air felt nice. Relieving.

Richie looked funnily at his daughter. A part of him was scared she might tell the story of how they almost left if it wasn’t for Stan the man. Another part of him, however, registered that she wanted to be there. Be there, at Neibolt, with them. And it scared him to death. Nausea washed over him again and Richie had a hard time not showing just that.

Beverly picked up something from the ground. Something long and rusty. To all the Losers, it seemed to make sense, seemed to be a missing piece from a puzzle. Only Y/N watched on, visibly confused.

“Well, we’re not asking you either,” Beverly replied.

“We didn’t do this alone then, Bill. So, we’re not gonna do this alone now.” Mike added.

“Losers stick together.” Ben.

A pregnant pause. The air was thick with tension as the Losers made it clear that Big Bill wouldn’t go in there on his own. Like they had proven to one another once before. When they were nothing more than a mismatched group of kids that fit together perfectly.

The only sounds outside the house were crickets chirping in the night, an occasional roll of thunder and the wind lightly blowing through the grass. No one dared to speak up. No one dared to say another word. But not all words had been spoken yet. Each Loser was just waiting for the next move. The words that would decide how they were to proceed. 

“So, does somebody wanna say something?” Eddie broke the silence. And with that, decisions were made. The Losers would, once more, stick together.

“Richie said it b-b-best when we were here last.” Bill replied, looking at Richie expectantly. Richie now looked taken aback. He couldn’t remember ever saying the right thing at the right moment. Even Y/N looked at her father, a hint of curiosity on her otherwise confused face.

“I did?” Richie asked, still not remembering. He felt the Losers’ eyes on him, all of them waiting to hear the familiar words again. Richie thought for a moment.

“I don’t wanna die?” he asked. His daughter loosened her grip on him and shrugged a little.

“Very reasonable.” She mumbled to herself.

“Not that.” Bill’s voice sounded hoarse. A few moments of silence as Richie thought again, trying to remember what he said that day.

“You’re lucky we’re not measuring dicks?” The Losers looked at Richie, unimpressed. Y/N, however, had to fight back her giggle, but a tiny snort escaped the girl. She couldn’t hold herself back at the unexpected and yet so typical statement from the man she grew up with.

“No…” The Trashmouth whispered to himself as his friends failed to answer. The group seemed to ease up a little despite the situation they found themselves in.

“Let’s kill this fucking clown?” Bill grinned at that. The Trashmouth had found his words.

“Let’s kill this fucking clown!” Richie repeated, this time more eager. With that, the group found their spirit. The Losers Club was back and ready to kill a bitch. With that, the Losers entered the house that they knew was potentially the last place they would visit. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist (let me know if you want to be tagged in the upcoming parts!):  @whereyoustand @bellero @shockwavee @daniellajocelyn @robindoesntloveme @halefirewarrior  @ucy161 @captainshazamerica @catscrochet @gabiatthedisco @strangemaximoff @robynel @the-summer-of-39 @sammy-salamander @majorlyextra @im-justafangirl @bohemiancrue @weebishtae @nobody7102 @creativedogs @sirenjules @littlemaeve @precious-bands-love @darth-dorle @zigabrielle @ggclarissa @bat-shark-repellant @zoemassingale @avengerswon @artlovingbre  @supernovavision @eggytozier @eeemmiillyyyy​ @russian-romanova​ @isweareverythingsalright​ @supernatural3002​ @intoomuchfandoms​ @detroitbecomevenom​ @hitoshi-s-stupid-bitch​ @keeley-virgo​ @deviantly-gayy​ @thedragonofgallifrey @sycard​ @sassy-specter​ @psychosupernatural​ @jerkyheree-michaelm3ll @chros-nomsworth @princesskhy @chocolatecakeandme​ @felicityofbakerstreet​ @transparentaliencookiehoagie​ @danas-wonderland​ @paige-howell-lester​ @1800kaspbrak​ @donteatmycookiesplease​ @im-justafangirl​ @finalfemm​ @tozierskaspb​ @afictionaladventure16​ @morgan-macguire​ @niallisworld​ @sp00kymonthenthusiast @blancastans​ @delicately-important-trash​ @blue-paradise-girl @im-a-rocketman​ @emiliesnowflake​ @peachysinnermon​ @whatsupsherl0ck​ @wheezy-kasp-brak​ @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression @ilovetaquitosmmmm @markiismoo​ @your-not-invisible-to-me​ @oisek-si @itsarandomsparkle​ @queen-fam​ @antivscogirl @fear-epidemic​ @burner-cell​ @cait-elizabeth​ @kind-sober-and-fully-dressed-99 @srtafarrell​ @opalof @x0softxgirl0x @cocastyle​ @themagicianssister​ @adritozier​ @the-almost-perfect-username @edwardspaghedwardtozier​ @attractiveugly​ @cait-scribbles​ @bethanyb1110​ @the-almost-perfect-username @spacelesbianfanclub​ @alisoncdariel​ @pinklyrium​ @leetaemintrashnumber1​ @tozierwheelerwolfhard @stress-and-obsess​ @httpstannie​ @purple-brainstorm​ @bitch-imma-head-out @sleepygal124​ @mellorine-paprika​ @im-an-assho1e​ @vergassdottir @brooke1419​ @shherlxck​ @lauren-novak​ @increasinglygeeky​ @babyyydalis​ @hotgod-amess​ @queen1054​ @raintoray @frenchiefightingman​ @70sgubler​ @ccidk​ @baconstripstripper​ @thunderkick44 @spiralingtoinsanity​ @lcvsbts​

[ripleyfm]

              ･ﾟ☀   good   morning   to   everyone   except   those   who   hate   on   legend   of   korra   !   skskskks   i’m   teddy   ,   i’m   a   lil   ole   baby   swinging   back   into   the   rpc   heart   emojis   a   -   blazing   !   this   is   my   lil   sunflower   chaos   seeker   known   as   ripley   ,   a   newer   muse   for   me   but   i’m   really   excited   to   flesh   her   out   here   with   some   extra   spooky   elements   .   i   have   a   god   awful   sense   of   humor   and   too   much   enthusiasm   for   angst   so   tbh   ?   come   get   y’all   PLOTTIN   JUICE   to   distract   me   from   thirsting   over   avatar   kyoshi   !  disc / ord is @𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫 !#6439 since i’ll be mobile for the afternoon !

* [ bruna marquezine + cis female + she / her ] —— have you met tallulah ripley ? they are a twenty-two year old senior currently studying biology & music theory. they live on decker house, and word around campus is that this leo is vibrant + gregarious, as well as hedonistic + philophobic. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. trailing sand in on the hardwood with bare feet , running late to meetings ( and asking forgiveness with a mere flash of a grin ) , tucking a greta van fleet album among the family collection of concierto classics .

EDIT : wanted and current connections can be found here ! 

youngest   of   four   ,   born   into   an   old   money   surname   ,   her   mother ,  an  international   student  from  sao  paolo  ,  brazil  ,  and  american   father   meet   as   competing   pianists   at   holloway   ,   falling   in   love   ,   marrying   ,   and   beginning   the   next   generation   of   the   ripley   virtuosos   soon   after   graduation   .   her   childhood   is   privileged   and   uneventful   ,   strict   and   stifling   as   early   as   she   can   remember   ,   tallulah   causing   trouble   enough   as   if   to   make   up   for   her   perfectly   behaved   siblings   .

her   father   becomes   one   of   the   most   prolific   modern   composers   of   his   time   ,   and   splits   his   efforts   between   composition   and   teaching   music   theory   at   julliard   as   his   wife   continues   performances   as   a   famed   pianist   .   though   her   siblings   branch   out   into   other   instruments   ,   tallulah   is   the   only   one   stubborn   enough   to   weather   the   callouses   on   her   fingers   ,   figuring   if   she’s   going   to   be   forced   to   play   an   instrument   of   any   type   ,   it’ll   at   least   be   something   she   likes   .   thus   ,   the   only   stringed   instrument   in   the   ripley   household   becomes   hers   as   she   takes   on   the   cello   by   storm   .

practicing   cello   is   perhaps   the   only   thing   lu   truly   commits   herself   to   —   charming   and   sociable   as   she   may   be   ,   her   selectiveness   with   her   efforts   makes   her   sluggish   with   schoolwork   as   if   to   give   her   family   a   hard   time   .   her   siblings   ,   all   honor   scholars   and   first   chairs   at   their   respective   instruments   ,   pick   on   her   for   her   unmotivated   wild   child   ways   at   the   encouragement   of   her   mother   .   the   only   person   who   takes   the   time   to   sit   with   tallulah   and   keep   her   on   track   is   her   ever   -   tired   (   but   endlessly   generous   )   father   .

her   world   is   turned   upside   down   her   freshman   year   when   her   father’s   occasional   stumble   turns   into   a   more   regular   struggle   to   keep   his   balance   ,   an   ultimate   diagnosis   of   a   degenerative   disease   rattling   their   family   as   they   know   it   .   tallulah   ,   wild   and   only   tamed   by   the   kindness   of   one   man   ,   starts   acting   out   in   an   effort   to   ignore   the   world   around   her   .   the   rift   between   herself   and   her   family   only   multiplies   when   she   discovers   her   mother   having   an   affair   as   her   father’s   health   continues   to   decline   .

he   passes   away   on   a   vacation   he   and   tallulah   take   to   the   ripley   summer   beach   house   ,   something   they   had   done   to   have   some   quiet   time   together   away   from   the   judgement   of   her   siblings   .   having   to   be   the   one   to   break   the   news   to   the   family   ,   she   feels   herself   shut   down   and   lose   whatever   desire   she   had   left   to   live   the   perfect   life   her   mother   and   siblings   tried   to   force   on   her   .

she   starts   going   almost   exclusively   by   her   surname   ,   making   it   into   holloway   more   as   a   favor   to   her   family’s   generous   donations   to   the   music   program   than   on   grades   .   she’s   barely   hanging   on   by   her   involvement   in   the   university’s   symphonic   orchestra   ,   where   she’s   a   first   chair   cellist   that   shows   up   late   to   every   damn   rehearsal   and   somehow   can   cold   sightread   well   enough   to   piss   everyone   off   ksksksk   .

given   this   ,   she’s   only   minoring   in   music   theory   to   stay   in   the   orchestra   ,   and   partially   to   feel   close   to   her   dad   .   though   her   dream   is   to   write   music   scores   for   films   ,   she’s   majoring   in   biology   to   have   a   respectable   backup   plan   .   if   she   can’t   do   music   forever   ,   she’ll   disappear   onto   a   beach   somewhere   in   costa   rica   and   be   a   marine   biologist   and   never   be   heard   from   again   lmao

PERSONALITY   :   ripley   is   happiest   shotgunning   a   white   claw   before   piling   into   the   squad   car   and   calling   aux   immediately   !   loves   her   friends   and   sees   her   circle   as   found   family   that   she   would   do   anything   for   .   

she’s   laid   back   and   observant   ,   one   of   the   quieter   in   the   group   as   she   tries   to   suss   you   out   but   is   the   first   to   approach   a   newbie   and   act   as   if   you’ve   been   friends   for   ages   .   she   makes   an   active   effort   to   not   judge   others   on   the   basis   of   first   impressions   and   tends   to   be   rather   open   minded   when   meeting   others   ,   which   makes   her   a   sort   of   universal   friend   -   to   -   all   ;   given   this   ,  when  wronged  ,  she’s   a   stubborn   little   shit   and   though   she   wont   let   them   live   rent   free   in   that   headspace   ,   she’ll   go   full   send   to   making   sure   they’re   aware   they   don’t   exist   to   her   !  

she   hates   petty   drama   and   tends   to   skirt   most   responsibility   by   sweet   -   talking   her   way   out   of   things   ,   giving   the   impression   that   she   can   be   lazy   or   unmotivated   .   this   is   true   to   some   extent   ,   such   as   with   her   grades   or   her   timeliness   ,   but   those   who   strike   the   right   balance   will   see   a   side   of   ripley   that   is   laser   focused   ,   whether   its   drunken   ramblings   about   the   brilliance   of   the   chord   progressions   on   fleetwood   mac’s   rumors   or   an   astute   observation   about   the   emotion   behind   a   certain   cello   movement   .   though   she   prefers   to   skip   the   hard   thinking   and   just   enjoy   the   moment   ,   ripley’s   admittedly   a   clever   girl   ,   simply   needing   the   right   push   to   unlock   her   truest   potential   .  

she’s   incredibly   relaxed   (   sometimes   a   bit   too   much   for   the   preference   of   some   )   and   tends   to   try   and   avoid   over   -   complicating   issues   in   order   to   not   have   to   face   them   .   especially   considering   the   infidelity   of   her   mother   ,   ripley   is   a   staunch   believer   that   relationships   are   a   waste   of   time   and   is   the   annoying   bitch   who   argues   that   being   in   love   is   a   scam   made   up   by   the   simps   to   feel   valid   !  

acts   as   if   she   isn’t   FULL   of   feelings   and   emotions   24/7   n   listens   to   emo   70’s   power   ballads   when   the   person   she   likes   doesnt   confess   their   love   for   her   under   the   moonlight   like   they   were   supposed   to   in   her   fantasy   …….   smh   .   she’s   too   busy   trying   to   be   ~cool   and   effortless~   that   she   sometimes   sabotages   the   things   that   would   bring   her   the   most   happiness   ,   then   blaming   herself   in   a   vicious   cycle   that   just   leaves   her   trying   to   distract   herself   w   crazy   antics   to   avoid   focusing   on   her   feelings   .

RANDOM BLURBS :    hates   men   n   regrets   all   attraction   to   them   .   thinks   all   women   r   too   good   for   her   .   convinced   she   will   be   a   useless   bisexual   forced   2   be   forever   alone

plays   guitar   as   a   mental   break   from   cello   and   loves   it   .   i’m   still   deciding   a   vc   for   her 

knows   the   beaches   in   maine   are   cold   af   but   wants   to   go   every   weekend   anyways

drives   the   most   impractical   soft   shell   jeep   which   sucks   in   the   east   coast   wind   and   snow   and   yet   it   is   somehow   exactly   an   embodiment   of   Her   Brand tm

like   5′9   tall   and   hates   wearing   real   people   shoes   she   said   berks   or   nOTHIN

wishes   she   could   go   vegan   but   is   so   bad   at   keeping   track   of   her   meals   she’d   forget   instantly   and   down   a   20   pack   of   chicken   nugget

too   mellow   &   apathetic   to   be   a   chaotic   neutral   but   too   adventurous   to   be   a   true   neutral   so   she   lives   somewhere   in   that   lawless   grey   space   skskskks

acts   REAL   california   for   someone   who   grew   up   exclusively   on   the   east   coast   ....   hm   .....   🤔

grew  up  disconnected  from  brazilian  culture  due  to  her  mom's  whitewashing  and  she  resents  it  greatly  .  can  understand  scattered  portuguese  but  took  spanish  in  high  school  so  that's  as  close  to  the  language  as  she'll  get  .  wants  to  take  lessons  online  tho  !

inspos r lila from umbrella academy , wynonna earp , beverly marsh from it , michelle manlon from derry girls , korra from lok , adora from she ra and the pop ,  and that ugly yellow overtone used in outer banks  💖 skskskks 

[xandertheundead]

Jealous Mike for Stanlon? I never see jealous Mike!

Sure thing, Anon! Here you go!

Mike had never really been the jealous type. 

Sure, when he was little and he’d seen other kids have something that he wished he could have he felt a small pang, but nothing as ugly as jealousy.

Nothing he truly cared about was ever in a situation where he felt those bitter ugly feelings well up in him. His dog, his parents, his grandfather even his favorite BB gun his dad had gotten him when he was little, he’d never had to worry about someone else having them because they were Mike’s and everyone knew that.

Stanley Uris however, wasn’t his and he wished more than ever that the boy was.

That’s why when he saw Stacy Briggs talking to Stan in the hall he felt something painful and awful rise up in his chest.

Bev had heard that Stacy Briggs wanted to ask Stan to the homecoming dance and Mike watched as she laughed and tucked her hair behind her ear. She wasn’t being very subtle and Mike had to stop himself from rolling his eyes when she reached out to gently push at his arm.

When Stan laughed at something she said Mike couldn’t help it, he let the word slip out from his mouth before he could even think about it.

“Bitch.”

“Who’s a bitch?”

Mike jumped when Richie slung an arm around his shoulder, moving his head around to see who Mike could be talking about. Immediately Mike felt shame rise up, his cheeks going red as he quickly shook his head at Richie’s question. He was being rude and unfair, all Stacy did was like the same guy he did and that wasn’t a reason to call her that.

“No one, Richie.” Mike said with a sigh and he could tell Richie didn’t buy it, but luckily he didn’t ask anymore questions.

“So, you ready to ask Stan-the-Man to homecoming?”

Mike gulped, watching the way Stacy moved a little closer to Stan, suddenly the tickets to the bird exhibit were burning a hole in his pocket. He had invited Stan to the bird exhibit, saying no one else wanted to go with him and Stan had quickly agreed to go with him, never even questioned why Mike bought two tickets before knowing how many people were going. The losers had helped paint the sign, it was now folded up neatly and carefully in his backpack and Mike took took a deep breath as Stan glanced to the side from his conversation with Stacy.

Their eyes met and the smile that moved over Stan’s face made Mike’s legs feel weak.

They both watched as Stan turned to Stacy and said something, her smile dimming a little when he said something but she nodded and waved as he started jogging towards them.

“Hey guys.” He said a little breathless and Mike just wanted to hug him. “Mike I just have to get my chemistry textbook from my locker and we can head out.”

“Uh, yeah. Hello!” Richie called before Mike could respond. “What am I chopped liver?”

Stan rolled his eyes, but his mood didn’t seem to sour in the slightest. “Yeah. Hi, Richie.”

“That’s more like it.” Richie replied, removing his arm from Mike’s shoulder a tossing them a wave. “Alright. You nerds go and enjoy your bird date, I’m going to find my sexy Spaghetti.”

“It’s not a date!” Both Stan and Mike sputtered, and they both looked at each other with their cheeks red.

“So,” Mike started and jerked his head in the direction of the stairs. “Should we go get that text book?”

Soon they were in Mike’s truck, he had meticulously cleaned and vacuumed it out the night before, and headed for the zoo. Stan even commented on the little air freshener Mike had gone out to buy specifically for the trip. Fresh lemon in the shape of a small bluebird that could clip to his air conditioning and Stan loved it which made Mike beam with pride.

When they had parked, got in to the zoo and found the exhibit, Mike’s palms were starting to sweat. As they waiting in line for their ticket to be checked he started wondering if maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. It would put Stan on the spot in front of others and what if he really didn’t want to go with Mike like that, 

This was a bad idea. A huge mistake.

They made their way into the area where hundreds of parakeets flew around freely and the way Stan looked as the flew over him was just amazing. He pointed to every different color parakeet he saw, telling Mike why their colors differed and when Mike bought two long popsicle sticks covered in bird seed he thought Stan’s mind was about to explode when a small yellow parakeet landed on his arm to take a nibble.

“This is amazing.” Stan whispered, watching as the bird hopped to his hand so it could start to eat the birdseed on the stick. “Seriously, Mike. Thank you for asking me to come.”

“O-of course.” Mike choked out and they both watched as the bird finished it’s meal and flew back into the branches. “Um, so Stan I wanted to ask you something.”

“Wait.” Stan said suddenly, looking up at him suddenly so serious. “I have to ask you something first.”

“Okay?”

Stan licked his lips, glancing down at the floor before taking a big breath in and letting it out slowly. “So, you probably heard the rumors about Stacy and homecoming.”

Mike’s gut twisted and he started to feel chilled. “Uh, yeah I did.”

“Right.” Stan nodded and then grimaced. “So, I’m sorry if this makes me look like an absolute bastard but you kind of already knew I was one.”

Oh god. Did Stan know? Was Stan rejecting him before Mike could even ask? 

Mike hated that he felt like he was about to cry and when Stan took Mike’s hand in his Mike could feel his eyes start to sting.

“Mike, will you go to homecoming with me?”

Mike blinked. His world came to a screeching halt as his brain had to restart and rewind because he had missed something very important.

“Wait...what?” Mike replied quietly, then started to gain his voice back ashe let his thoughts tumble from his mouth.. “I’m confused. Why are you a bastard for asking me? Why are you asking me and talking about the rumor with Stacy? Did Stacy ask you already? I heard she wasn’t going to ask till Friday.”

Then Stan looked confused as well and he dropped Mike’s hand to gold his arms over his chest, a look that was seriously hot but Mike couldn’t enjoy it right now. He had things to figure out.

“Why would Stacy ask me when she is planning to ask you?”

Mike had no idea why but he suddenly burst out laughing. “What?! Why would she ask me? Bev told me she wanted to ask you.”

Stan shook his head quickly. “Why would she? We only have one class together, you're the varsity football Quarterback and she's the head cheerleader.”

“S-so?!”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Mike, anybody would be nuts not to want to be with you. You’re on the football team, you have amazing grades, you sweet as fuck and you look like some GQ model.”

“What’s GQ?”

Stan waved his hand in the air like he was trying to wave Mike’s question away. “That doesn’t matter. What matters is I’m being a fucking asshole and sniping you from her before she has a chance even though she just trusted me not to tell you when she asked what your favorite cookies were.”

Mike stared wide eyed at Stan quietly, Stan’s face becoming red as a tomato when he realized something and had to look away. “I mean...if you want because...I’d really like to go with you. I really like you.”

Mike couldn’t stop the large grin from spreading on his face and instead of answering, he moved to set his backpack on the ground and opened it up. Carefully he pulled out the hand painted poster, handing it over to Stan, smiling as he unfolded it and read it.

Stan’s face was priceless and he looked up at Mike in shock before it slowly started to turn into a smile.

“You were going to ask me?”

“Yep.”

“So I just betrayed a nice girl when you were going to ask me anyway.”

Mike gave a small shrug. “If it makes you feel any better, I called her a bitch when I saw she made you laugh.”

Stan then started to laugh and Mike couldn’t help it anymore, he pulled Stan to him and held him tightly, happy when Stan held him back.

“Yes,” Mike whispered into the dark brown curls. “I’ll go with you.”

“And I you, Mike.”

Send Me A Prompt!

Taglist: @tinyarmedtrex @oldguybones @queen-sock @constantreaderfool @all-beef-no-derry @eddiefuckinkaspbrak @recycle-byn @s-s-georgie @mars-14 @inthebreadbinwrites @yikesitsrylee @thorn-harvester-ven @appojoos @photoboothreddie @moonlightrichie @madi-main @nancynwheeler @edstozler @stylesmelon @reddieforlove @lifesucksheres20bucks @marsisaplanetyall @trashmouthnick @girasol-eddie @s-onora @rebecca-the-queen @purplepoisonedgem @darkobsidianquill

[carryonsimoncarryonbaz]

BITE DOWN

A new hurt/comfort, isolation, Snowbaz sick fic that wouldn't leave my head and that I cranked out in the last 24 hours. 

Baz and Simon shelter in place in London during the pandemic but they are not aware SImon has been infected until he falls ill. Baz does the care taking as Simon descends into illness and then Baz has some very difficult moments to face and decisions to make. Angst with a happy ending.

*trigger warning from frank descriptions of severe pneumonia and respiratory illness*

BITE DOWN

Day 1

Simon

Penny left this morning. Her mum wanted her home once the shutdown order came through and with her uni having gone all online there wasn’t much point in her staying around.

Other than for me, that is.

She wanted to but I told her that’s daft. She should be with her family. I’d never choose to cross Mitali Bunce and there’s no reason for Penny to, not for this.

I’ll be fine. My classes are all online. I can buy what I need at the corner shop and the curry place is staying open.

And I’ve got Baz. He’s staying too. Spouted some rubbish about not wanting to possibly transmit something to his family, seeing as they’re half-isolated as it is, way out where they are.

And don’t I know it. I made that jog from the road to their place more than once. Isolated doesn’t do it justice. It’s remote.

But I also know that’s not the real reason he’s staying here. I know he’s staying for me, the sappy git.

I tried to make him go. Tried to convince him he should be with his family.

He’d turned his sea-grey eyes on me then and said, “I am with my family.”

There’s not much I could say in answer to that. Not with words that is. I practically knocked him off the sofa in my attempt to snog him senseless. He says things like that and I . . . well, fuck, it makes me believe it’s all been worth it. All that came before.

No, I know it’s worth it. I’d give up my magic again in a heartbeat to have what I’ve got with Baz. Give it all to the Humdrum, fight mutant vampires in the desert, deal with that fucking Lamb character—I’d go through it all over again for him. Every moment of it, to be where we are now.

Together. In love and able to say it. Out loud. To each other.

My therapy appointments are down to once a month now. Baz and I have one together every few months. I was surprised when he started seeing someone, a few months after we came back. After everything had finally settled down.

Fiona found him someone she trusted.

It made it easier for me to do it, once he started. Sometimes I wonder if that’s why he did it. But there’s never been a point in asking him that. It doesn’t serve a purpose. He wouldn’t have kept going if it wasn’t something he needed as well. So why he started doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he did.

And I did.

And we’re here now, better than we’ve ever been.

Well, other than this pandemic shit.

I don’t think it’s going to be as bad as they say. They’ve shut the whole damn country down. Hospitals and clinics at ready. I think it will take time, but it’ll pass.

It’s done a right number on all of our plans, I’ll say that.

Last year of uni for Baz and Penny. I basically fucked away my first year so I’m a bit behind, but still. We’re all moving forward, not looking back.

I hope this doesn’t fuck up Baz’s graduation. He’s top of his class here too, the swot. I want to see that. See him graduate.

I didn’t get to see him give his leavers speech at Watford.

Baz says he’s not fussed about graduation. What he’s fussed about is possibly having to cancel his graduation gift from his parents. They’ve sprung for a two-week vacation on the Continent for the both of us.

I’m part of the gift, it seems. Daphne came right out and said it like that, when they told Baz about it. I thought I was going to go up in flames right there and then.

It’s right embarrassing sometimes, the things she and Malcolm say. I call him Malcolm now, as if that doesn’t take the bloody cake. Took me long enough. (It’s still awkward as fuck, but he likes it so I try.)

It was bad enough when they assumed we were shagging and we weren’t. Yet.

Now they’re even less inhibited. Sending us away on romantic weekend trips. Buying us matching gifts. Asking us when we’re going to move in together (yes, we’ve talked about it) (probably this summer) (or we were planning to, before this bloody thing started) (just hadn’t told anyone but Penny yet.)

But this. This is like some wedding planner’s ideal honeymoon trip. Paris. Venice. Barcelona. The bloody Amalfi Coast.

It’s as if Daphne looked up every romantic location on Pinterest and added it to the itinerary.

Every bloody romantic proposal location, I mean.

That’s what it feels like to me.

Because I’d been thinking to ask him, after graduation. And I’ll be good god-damned if I don’t get to do it first.

Knowing Baz, he’d probably try to get the drop on me, just to be a competitive arse.

No, he wouldn’t actually. Not for this. He’d want me to be sure, he’d want to know I was the one who really wanted it.

And he’d want to see me try to set up something romantic. For him. He’s such a sappy git. I think he’d be just as thrilled if I did it in the Tesco car park as the Eiffel Tower at sunset.

Which is where I’m currently planning on asking, when I let myself think about it. Paris, that is, not the Tesco. Although last week it was a gondola in Venice. And by next week it may well be somewhere else.

It’s not as if I’ve bought a ring or anything yet. I was waiting a bit. Getting comfortable with the idea rather than just letting myself daydream about it.

Not that I’ll be getting any ring shopping done anytime soon.

Not even online, not with his meddlesome self looking over my shoulder when I’m on my laptop, now that he’s going to be here every minute, not just a few nights a week.

He’s here more than a few nights, to be honest, has been for a while. Unless he’s got a big paper or some sort of group project and I’m too much of a distraction.

Baz basically moved in at the start of the fall term. I mean, he still has his place in Camberwell. He’s just rarely there anymore. His clothes fill my closet, he’s got a colourful array of spare pants in the dresser, his toiletries on my sink and in my shower—not travel sized versions carried back and forth in his knapsack anymore.

There’re orderly pints of blood in the fridge and cold vampire feet in my bed every night.

I’m not complaining one bit. It’s taken us long enough to get here.

And so here we are, our coursework done for the day, curled up on my sofa watching Derry Girls again, my head resting on his shoulder.

I’m feeling all right. None of the symptoms they’re blathering on about in the news updates and emails from the uni health centre.

And Baz . . . well, he’s being Baz. Calm in the midst of the anxiety that’s overtaken the city. Meticulous about his personal hygiene and bloody annoying about mine.

Like now.

“Go wash your hands, Simon.”

“I just did, when I went to the loo a bit ago.”

“You just touched your nose. Wash them again.”

“Bloody hell, must you watch me every minute?”

“Not about to change my habits now, they’re ingrained.” He’s smiling, the prat.

“Don’t I know it.”

His eyebrow goes up. “Someone has to, you’re an absolute menace to cleanliness as a rule.”

“Piss off.”

But I love him for it, so I go and wash my hands. I know why he does it. I know it’s out of concern.

I’m being careful. I am.

I’ve not been out other than for a run, not since uni shut down. I mean other than to go to the corner shop for snacks a few days ago. And to the curry place for some samosas yesterday.

Baz has put a stop to all that now though. Said he’s doing the shopping and the food runs from now on. I watched him empty the shopping bags earlier—wouldn’t even let me help, the tosser. He’s stocked up on paracetamol, thermometer covers, zinc throat lozenges, throat syrup, and whatnot.

“Didn’t you get any crisps? I thought you were going to get more crisps?” We’re not going to make it long without crisps.

He just rolls his eyes at me. “We’ve got bags of them, Simon. We’ll be fine.”

Baz

I’m trying not to let on to Simon how worried I am.

I’ve seen the projections. It’s not looking good. This government has bollocksed the entire situation from the very start. Even my father is appalled at the Tories and has not been shy about saying so, which is unprecedented and not doing anything to dampen my anxiety about all this.

It’s end times when my father is to the point of vehemently condemning a Tory government.

I don’t know what Simon and Penelope were thinking. They’ve not stocked up on much other than toilet paper and crisps. I had to purchase the bare necessities today and it took me to two Tescos and one Boots to find any paracetamol.

I do know what Penelope was thinking—that a few well-cast spells would sort it.

She sorted Simon when I thought we’d lose him. I can understand her confidence but it’s wildly misplaced.

This isn’t like that.

This is, for lack of a better term, insidious. Fuck. I hate that word. I can’t use it and not think of the bloody Humdrum. That leads to thinking about the Mage and Simon’s magic and then I’m off on tangents that make me want to rage.

I know it’s been years now. I know he and I have both talked through it, with each other and with Simon’s therapist.

But at moments like this, in the middle of this fucking plague, all I can think about is how much easier this would be, how much safer, if Simon still had his magic. Not that it made him impervious to injuries or illnesses. It didn’t, I know that first hand, from all those nights he’d drag himself up the steps to our turret, bruised and battered and a bloody mess.

But he had a capacity to heal, to bounce back, without needing to be coated in spells. He’s not got that anymore.

But he acts like he still does.

Like he did in America. Like he’s acting now. Like somehow, he’s resistant to it all, that he can barrel through as he is and still come out relatively unscathed.

I’ve put a stop to all that. No more trips to the corner shop or the curry place. No unnecessary activities outside of the flat. None. I’ll be damned if we’ve made it this far only to have some rogue virus destroy it all.

I’m the one who’s impervious. I’m the one who will still be standing at the end of the day, when this is all over. And I want Simon at my side.

I need him to be.

He can content himself with sitting at home, on the sofa, watching the telly. I’ll even buy him some cider, if he’ll just bloody well stay inside.

Here I am, wishing that Simon Snow would just lie the fuck down on the sofa and not argue about it. Who would have thought we’d come to this? Crowley, the world is upside down.

At least now I get to lie down with him.

READ THE REST AT AO3! 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23287240

[eleventhdoctorsangel]

The devil within

Summary: Summer time is supposed to be fun and worried free right? Not when you live in Derry. The capital of kids going missing. But what could cause all these kids to go missing? I think it has something to do with the clown I keep seeing.

It was about 2:30 in the morning before Henry and I fell asleep. Then it was close to 9 until we woke up. When I woke up I noticed that Henry had his arm around me. “Are you feeling any better today Henry?” I asked him. “I’m still a bit sore is all” Henry said as he took his arm off of me and sat up. “I can go get you some medicine if you want any.” I said. “It’s okay I know what it is.” Henry said getting up from my bed. I got up and walked out of my room to go get something to drink. Henry followed behind me. We both walked into kitchen as Henry went to go get some medicine I got him something to drink. “Does Belch know you’re here so he knows to come here to pick you up so you four can do god knows what today?” I asked sitting down at my family’s island. “Yeah I texted him last night. He should be here soon. Are you going to hang out with those losers today?” Henry asked. “I might or I might just hang around my house today I haven’t decided.” I said. “You can always hang out with us.” Henry said. “And have Patrick feel me up. Now I love you, Belch and Vic but Patrick pushes it.” I said. Henry let out a laugh. “Yeah I guess you’re right. Tell you’re folks I said thank for letting me stay the night.” Henry said. “They said that you to keep saying thank you. They would let you stay anytime and you know that.” I said. “I know. I just.” Henry said. “You just like it better at my house than your own.” I said. Henry looked at me and sadly nodded. “You know if want wanted to stay here permanently my parents would be more than happy to go to court to become your legal guardians.” I said. “I know but I don’t know what my dad will do.” Henry said. “Well if the judge grants my parent’s custody there’s nothing he can do.” I said. “I’ll think about it.” Henry said. “Okay and we don’t have to mention this to my parents until you make up your mind if you want.” I said. “Yeah I would like that.” Henry said as the sound of horn rang out. “I guess that would be Belch.” I said. “Yeah that’s him. I’ll see you later y/n.” Henry said as he came over and gave me a hug. “See you later Henry.” I said hugging him back. I watch as Henry pulled away from the hug and made his way out of my house. When I heard the door close I let out a sigh. I grabbed my drink from off the island as I got up from my seat and from seat and made my way back to my room get changed. As I was getting changed I heard my phone start to ring. I rushed over to see who it was. It was Stan. I unplug it from the charger bring it up to my ear as I answered it. “Hey Stan what’s up?” I asked. “I just wanted to make sure you are still coming?” Stan asked. ‘Yeah sure. Just let me finish getting ready. Where did you want to meet?” I asked. “I’ll just swing by your place.” Stan said. “Sounds good just head this way in ten minutes.” I said. “Alright see you soon Y/n.” Stan said. “See you later.” I said as I hung up.

I quickly finished getting ready so once Stan got here when go just go meet with Bill, Richie, Eddie. Since I was almost ready when Stan called I quickly got a small backpack with some first aid stuff and other stuff like that in case I need to help with any of the guys. I also put some water bottles in my bag but that time I heard a knock at my door. “Coming!” I yelled. I put my backpack on as I put my phone in my back pocket on my shorts as I went to answer the door even though I already knew it was Stan. When I opened the door I saw that Stan was waiting on me. “You ready?” Stan asked. “Yeah. Where are we meeting the others?” I asked. “They want us to meet them at Eddie’s house.” Stan said. “Alright as long as we don’t have to go in his house I’m all for it.” I said. “What you don’t you think you and Eddie are meant to be.” Stan said. “Oh very funny I don’t know why she’s trying to make me and Eddie to become a thing.” I said. “Honestly you’re guest is as good as mine. But you seem to be the only girl she seems to like hanging around Eddie. Which I don’t know you’re as bad as Richie maybe worse.” Stan said. I flipped him off. “Are we going to go or what.” I said starting to walk off my porch. “Yeah let’s go.” Stan said following me.

I got on Stan’s bike behind him putting my hands on his shoulders as he started to pedal to Eddie’s house. I didn’t have a buke of my own and haven’t for a while I preferred to walk or run. But when I was hanging out with the guys I usually rode with Stan or Bill. Neither of the two mind. I think that they are just waiting for me to get my license so I could drive them. Richie though would be the only one to just straight out admits it. The others say that it’s not the main reason but I know and I’m not upset at it. Anyways the ride to get to Eddie’s house from mine was only about five minutes. When we pulled up Richie, Eddie and Bill were on their bikes waiting for us. “It’s about time the two of you showed up.” Richie said. “Oh shut up. We’re here aren’t we?” I asked. “Yeah and we have been waiting for hours.” Richie said. “Oh have you now?” I asked. “Yes we have.” Richie said. “Cut the bullshit Richie how long have you guys really been waiting?” I asked. “Maybe five minutes maybe less.” Eddie said. “Thank you Eddie now can we go.” I said. The other three boys nodded and then we started to ride the bike through Derry to go check the sewers for Georgie. I knew that we weren’t going to find anything but I didn’t dare to say anything like that in front of Bill. Because he was so sure that Georgie was just going to show back up. But I have seen enough criminal minds and crime show to know if a kid isn’t found in the first 24 hours that it was never a good sign and Georgie has been missing for almost ten months so odd are he’s dead.

We stopped near one of the many entrances to the sewer. I hopped off of Stan bike as he got the kick stand down. Richie and Bill started to walk into the sewer while Stan, Eddie and I waited outside of the entrance. I could overhear Stan asking Eddie if something was poison ivy. “I don’t know I guess.” Eddie said. “That’s poison ivy. And that’s poison ivy. And that’s poison ivy.” Stan said as he pointed to every plant he saw and none of them were poison ivy. “Where? Where’s the poison ivy?” Eddie asked slightly freaking out. “Nowhere. Not every fucking plant is poison ivy Stanley.” Richie said. “Yeah Stan I told my dad that we were going to be around this area and if there was poison ivy around here he would have told me for us not to be around here. “What exactly did you tell him?” Richie asked. “Just that we might go to the quarry.” I said shrugging. “Okay I’m starting to get itchy now and I’m pretty sure this is not good for my.” Eddie said. “Do you use the same bathroom as your mother?” Richie asked. “Sometimes yeah.” Eddie said. “Then you probably have crabs.” Richie said.  “That’s so not funny.” Eddie said. Richie turned to look at the three of us. “Aren’t you guys coming in?” Richie asked. “Well I wasn’t given much of a notice that we were coming to the sewers or else I would have worn my boots and not my vans. I don’t want them to smell like shit tipping off my dad to where we really where so I’m passing.” I said. “Uh-uh. It’s greywater.” Eddie said motioning to the water. “What the hell’s greywater?” Richie asked. It’s basically piss and shit. So I’m just telling you- you guys are splashing around in millions of gallons of Derry pee. So.” Eddie said as he started to go off. Richie then grabbed a stick swishing it around the water that bringing it up to his nose to smell it. “Are you serious? What are you.” Eddie said. “Doesn’t smell like caca to me senor.” Richie said in a bad Spanish accent. “Okay I can smell that from here.” Eddie said. “It’s probably just your breath wafting back into your face.” Richie said. “Have you ever heard of a staph infection?” Eddie asked losing it. “Oh I’ll show you a staff infection.” Richie said motioning the stick towards Eddie. “That is so unsanitary. You’re literally. This is literally like swimming inside a toilet bowl right now. Have you ever heard of Listeria?” Eddie said as Richie had picked up a pair of shorts with the stick and threw them at Eddie. Which made Eddie scream as he dodged them. “Are you retarded? You’re the reason we’re in this position right now.” Eddie said. “Guys!” Bill yelled shutting Eddie up as he turned around. I saw that he now had a shoe in his hand. “Shit. Don’t tell me that’s.” Stan said. “No. Georgie wore galoshes.” Bill said as Richie walked forward to Bill to see who’s shoe it was. “Who’s sneaker is it?” Eddie asked. “It’s Betty Ripsom’s.” Richie said. “Oh shit. Oh god. Oh fuck! I don’t like this.” Eddie said. “How do you think Betty feels? Running around these tunnels with only one frickin shoe?” Richie said as he started hopping on one foot. Then he saw that none of us were laughing with him. “What if she’s still here?” Stan asked. Bill and Richie turned around as they started to walk further into the sewers. “Eddie come on!” Richie said. “My mom will have an aneurysm if she finds out the we’re playing down here. I’m serious. Bill?” Eddie said. “If.. If I was Betty Ripsom I would want us to find me. Georgie too.” Bill said. Now I was debating on if want wanted to go in now or not. “What if I don’t want to find them? I mean no offense Bill but I don’t want to end up like.. I don’t want to go missing either.” Eddie said. Eddie came closer to saying Georgie but he had stopped himself. “He has a point.” Stan said. “You too?” Bill asked. “It’s summer. We’re supposed to be having fun. This isn’t fun. This is scary and disgusting.” Stan said as something large splashed in the water behind making us all jump. I looked behind us to see Ben from school. He was soaked to the bone and bleeding. “Holy shit! What happened to you?” Richie asked as he and Bill walked out of the sewer. He looked over to us and the look he gave just asked for us to help him. “Stan Eddie help him to this rock.” I said as I pointed to a rock big enough of him to sit on. As Stan and Eddie went to go help him I went over kneel down in front of the rock as I took off my backpack and started to take out the stuff I brought.

As Stan and Eddie helped Ben sit down on the rock I put my hair up in a ponytail. I gave him some medicine and one of the water bottles. Ben took them from me. I took another one of the water bottles and poured some on a piece of gauze. I started to clean his bloody nose. “So what happened?” I asked as I started to clean the other small cuts on his face. “I ran into Henry.” Ben said. “Got it. Did he just give you a bloody nose?” I said knowing that I would have to talk to him about this later. “Um no.” Ben said as he looked down. “What else?” I asked. Ben lifts his shirt to show that Henry had craved an H into his stomach. I could hear the other boys wince. I started to looked through my stuff. I noticed that I was out of rubbing alcohol so I could clean it. “We need to take him into town so I can go get some more rubbing alcohol so I can get this. “You heard the lady gentleman let’s go.” Richie said. “Don’t worry Ben I’ll get you fixed up and this will stay just between the six of us alright.” I said as I put my stuff in my backpack.

Taglist: @sparkheels​

Overall Taglist: @the-broken-halo-writer​

[softest-cinnamon-roll]

ammmy, light of my life, can i get a richie going through his old toys and finding one of Eddie’s so he calls him up to reconnect? please and thank you! :)

remember me? I remember you

a/n:  this sort of turned into a thing? Let me know if you want a part two!

*Click title to read on AO3

* * * * *

Richie rolled his eyes as his mother disappeared up the flight of stairs that led to the attic. When he had made the decision to come home for the weekend to visit his parents, he hadn’t expected to be going through all his old toys and comics so his mom could make room in the attic for other things. He had wanted to spend the weekend chilling, maybe going out for dinner and spending some quality time with his parents, but nope, he was spring cleaning instead.

“Goodness, Richie, you have got so much stuff up here it’s insane! We really should have done all this before you went to college,” Maggie grumbled and Richie had to hold back a snort. After all, he had suggested they have a garage sale with all of the things he wasn’t going to be using after he graduated High School, but his mom just wasn’t ready to part with her only child’s youth.

He voiced as much, only to receive a grunt from the woman that birthed him and then suddenly a box was thrust downwards, almost hitting Richie square in the face. “A little warning mom!” He laughed, taking the box and sitting it down on the hallway next to his bedroom door. He remained on the bottom step, accepting any boxes from his mom before she emerged once more.

All in all, there were five full boxes of Richie’s childhood that had been stuffed up into the attic. Some of them were even covered in cobwebs, which caused a shiver to run down Richie’s spine just a little. A wave of sadness passed over him as he looked down at them, his messy handwriting making it clear which box was which. He might be twenty seven now, but looking at his old stuff made him feel fourteen again.

His mom seemed to sense the hesitation and she gave him a light smack on the arm, “Come on, we need to go through all of this and decide which stuff is worth keeping and what stuff I can donate to the Bangor Hospital Children’s Ward.”

A smile made its way onto Richie’s lips then. Ever since his mother dropped down some of the hours at the factory she was working at, she had been making up time by volunteering at the Children’s Ward in Bangor. He felt a little bad at the possessiveness he felt over some of the toys in the boxes, as he knew that he would never play with them again, but some of those kids at the hospital would.

“Alright mom, let’s get looking through these boxes!” Richie picked up a few and carried them down the stairs to the living room, where they slowly began opening them and making two separate piles.

The first few boxes were just a bunch of Richie’s old comics that he had spent most of his middle school and early teenage years reading over and over again. They were so worn from reading that Richie wasn’t sure the hospital would accept them, but his mom didn’t agree, these comics would make some little boy or girl very very happy.

It wasn’t until they got to the last box that Richie came across something that he actually knew he wouldn’t be able to part with. His throat closed up the moment he set eyes on the toy, and his eyes began to fill with tears. How could Richie have ever forgotten about this? More importantly who gave him it?

Gingerly, he reached his hand into the box and pulled out the luminous orange stress ball. The little smiley face was still present, but it had started to fade somewhat. Richie let out a choked laugh, and suddenly he wasn’t twenty seven anymore, but sixteen.

“I can’t believe you’re moving, tomorrow,” Richie whispered, his fingers picking on a loose strand of his sweater. Eddie Kaspbrak smacked his hand away, giving Richie a glare. He stopped picking almost immediately and looked down at his feet.

They were sprawled out on Richie’s bed, comics shared between them. The whole day had been spent at the Quarry with the other losers and Stan had even got the extra mile and made a picnic. It was a lovely goodbye party, but now, when it was just Eddie and Richie alone, it was really starting to settle in that this was the last time they’d be able to do this.

“Do you think I’ll like New York?” Eddie asked after a few moments of silence. It had been a topic of conversation for the losers ever since Eddie told him his mother was moving them to the city. He had never actually outright asked if anyone thought he would like it or not.

Richie pursed his lips, thinking over what to say to as no upset his best friend…and crush. Yeah, Richie was pretty much gone for Eddie and the fact that he was leaving him was like a punch to the gut. Deep down, he wished he had had the guts to tell him how he felt before, but he didn’t. He would never be able to tell him now, it just wasn’t fair on either of them.

“I think that it’ll become a place that you’ll love just as much as Derry,” Richie finally settled on, biting his lip in the process.

Eddie tilted his head to the side, clearly processing Richie’s words before he nodded, “Maybe, but I know I’ll never find another group of friends that I love as much as I love you guys. We’re losers, and we always will be, right?”

“Right,” Richie nodded, trying his best not to cry. The tears were for tomorrow when Eddie was in a car, driving south to New York with a van full of his belongings. “I’m really going to miss you, Eds.”

“Don’t,” Eddie shook his head, and Richie swore he could see tears in his eyes. “I don’t want to think about how we’ll probably never see each other again and that just…it’s too much for me to think about right now.” As soon as he stopped talking, Eddie jumped off of the bed and started to rummage through his bag.

Richie tilted his head and frowned, “Eds? What are you doing?” Eddie jumped back up, holding something behind his back, which was only stemming Richie’s curiosity. “Eds?”

“This is really stupid but…I wanted to be able to uh, give you something to remember be by?” Richie tried not to scoff, because there was no way he’d ever forget his Eddie Spaghetti. “So when I was shopping yesterday, I found this.” Eddie pulled his hand from behind his back to reveal a bright orange stress ball with a smiley face on it. “For when you need to let out some of that energy.”

Carefully, Richie accepted the ball and looked at it in complete awe. Eddie had gone out of his way to buy Richie something he knew he’d use every day, so that he wouldn’t forget Eddie. “I love it, Eds. Thank you.”

Eddie flushed a little and tucked some of his hair behind his ear. “I was um, wondering if we could sign our names on there too?”

This time it was Richie’s turn to flush red and he slowly nodded his head, pulling out a black sharpie pen from his drawer. He passed the pen to Eddie, who uncapped it and wrote his name in his lovely cursive writing, before passing it to Richie. His hands were shaking, but he managed to write his own name right next to Eddie’s.

He sat the ball on his dresser, so the pen could dry and he turned his head to find Eddie pulling his shoes on. That was when Richie realised that it was almost 10pm and Eddie had to be home. “Eds…”

“I’ll see you, okay?” Eddie breathed and Richie could only nod his head. Eddie moved closer, hugging him as tight as he could before pulling away. “Goodbye, Rich…”

“Bye, Eds.”

“Richie?” His mother brought him out of his thoughts and Richie soon realised that he was crying. He flipped the ball over and their names were still there, etched in black pen. How the fuck could he have forgotten about Eddie. His Eddie. His first love.

“Sorry mom, uh…” Richie cleared his throat. “I need to make a phone call.” He had no idea how he was going to find Eddie’s number, but if there was a will, there is a way.

* * * * *

Eddie Kaspbrak stared at the ring in the black box that he had bought over a week ago and he felt nothing but bile fill up in his stomach. His mother had been so insistent that he ask his girlfriend of a year, Myra, to marry him, even though he could think of nothing worse. Still, he went out and bought the ring, but he had still yet to ask her the damn question.

He didn’t even want to marry Myra, hell, he didn’t even want to be dating her. Eddie had come home from a day of work and Myra had been sitting at his kitchen table with his mother. They were polar opposites, but his mother was so sure she was the woman for him, he didn’t even have a chance to disagree.

Deep down, he knew what she was doing, after all, he had come out as gay to her about three weeks before Myra was introduced into his life. His mother had been so shocked that her son prefers the company of other men, she literally forced a woman into his life.

Was it crazy for him to still be hung up over a guy who he had been in love with when he was sixteen? A guy who he hadn’t seen in eleven years and whom was probably married with kids of his own now? The thought did make Eddie laugh a little, as Richie Tozier had never been one to show signs of settling down…ever.

Still, Eddie never forgot about his best friend from Derry, or any of his friends actually. Especially Richie though, he was always going to have a special place in his heart for Richie.

“Fuck,” Eddie groaned, tossing the ring box onto his bed and watching as it bounced up and down before landing by his pillow. “I don’t want to do this. Damnit, please, something, just give me a sign that I should just pack up my shit and leave!”

Of course, just like Eddie had expected, there was nothing. Not a single sound or movement that could even be understood as a sign he shouldn’t propose to the woman who makes his life miserable. With a sigh, Eddie stood up and put on a nice shirt and pants, pocketing the box in his pocket before he left the apartment to head to the restaurant where he would meet his mother and Myra. He had to do it today, his mother had said, there would be consequences if he didn’t.

When he was just a few metres away from the restaurant, so close that he could make out his mother and Myra’s forms sitting in the booth, Eddie felt his phone ring in his pocket. He froze for a second, wondering whether or not to ignore it and call the person back later, when he changed his mind. He was stalling for time, after all.

Without looking at the caller ID, Eddie answered the call and pressed his phone to his ear, “Edward Kaspbrak speaking?”

“Eds? Is that really you?”

The second he heard that all too familiar voice, the voice that he never could forget, Eddie froze in his tracks and jumped into an alleyway, shaking like a leaf. “R-Richie?”

“Holy shit it is you,” Richie breathed on the other line and Eddie felt a lump form in his throat. “Fuck, Eds…it’s been so long.”

A watery laugh bubbled out of Eddie’s lips and he wiped away a few stray tears with the palm of his hand, “Eleven years to be exact,” he whispered. “How- How are you? How did you even get my number?”

Richie chuckled down the phone and Eddie swooned. He had forgotten just how perfect Richie’s laugh was. “Funny story, uh, my mom was making me clean out some of my old toys and I…I found the stress ball you gave me the night before you moved away.” He started, his voice soft. “The second I saw it I…I immediately hated myself because I forgot about you. Kind of, I mean I didn’t forget but I…did. I know it doesn’t make any sense but anyway, the second I saw it, I knew I had to find you. To talk to you again. So I googled you.”

“You googled me?” Eddie asked, shaking his head in amusement because of course Richie would google him.

“Yes, Eds, I googled you.” Richie spoke as though it was obvious. “And I came across the company you work for. Risk Analyst, Eds? Really? I thought you wanted to be a Doctor?”

That was right, back in High School Eddie did want to be a doctor. Thanks to the move however and the new adaptation to his new life, he had fallen behind on his grades and didn’t meet the entry requirements. “I- I didn’t get into medical school, so I…yeah. I know the job sucks. I hate my job but a friend of my mother got it for me and I couldn’t really say no.”

There was a silence on the other side of the phone for a few seconds before Richie spoke up again, “Was I interrupting something?” He asked and that was when Eddie remembered his lunch plans. That was also when he remembered the sign he had begged for back at his place.

“No, no not at all. I wasn’t planning on doing anything.”

* * * * *

@richietoaster @tozier-boy @eds-trashmouth @bitchbrak @sloppybitchreddie @its-stranger-than-you-think @maximusfraker @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @thejadeazalea @halfway-happy353 @tinyarmedtrex @inthebreadbinwrites @kat-ships-everything @takeourpure @lo-v-ers @mrs-vh @studpuffin @s-s-georgie @reddie-for-anything @trashmouthtozierr @richietoizer @girasol-eddie @bi-bi-richie @honeybeehanlon @mars-14 @reddiesetandgo @marsisaplanetyall @xandertheundead @sedanleystanley @hawkinsbabe @beepbeeprichiellc @stellarbisexual @oldguybones @thundercatseddie @eduardoandale @purplepoisonedgem @reddie-to-cryy @pink-psychic @violetreddie @fuzzylogik @queen-sock @appojoos @moonlightrichie @rreddies @disneyfan567 @annxmatron @lifesucksheres20bucks @anellope @roobarrtrashmouth @are-you-reddie-for-it @callmechee @nancynwheeler @reddieforlove @twoidiotsinl0ve @madi-artist @tozierking

[har-rison-s]

children are the future

request: Can you do a stan it ch.2 imagine where you two have kids and he gets the phone call and the kids like ‘whats wrong’ and he looks at th kid and is like ‘gotta do it for them!!’ And doesn’t die and you guys go together or whatever

A/N: Yes, hello. Amazing, emotional request. Kids + Stanley,.... Oh boy. I'll try my best on this one, as I always do. Happy reading!

IT masterlist

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gif credit goes to owner!

Jay is laying in her father's lap, her head on his chest, watching the TV programme whilst her brother is reading a book that lay on his father's leg. It's an ordinary Sunday evening in the Uris household, all of them lounging on the couch while the TV plays and they're doing each their little thing. 

Y/N is sewing decorations on Robin's new pillow, by his request, deeply concentrating on pulling her needle and thread through a bead. Stanley cradles Jay as she watches the TV and he reads a book. Robin's just like his father - prefers a book over TV, but also being with his family over reading alone in his room.

Stanley's arm is around Jay, holding her, and also holding the book. His other hand holds Robin's and occasionally runs through the little boy's hair. Curly, just like his own is, but has a lighter color. Even lighter than Stanley's ocher hair was. Now it's darkened intensely, and so have his eyes.

A telephone ring startles the peaceful family, they jump in their seats lightly, all in the same manner. Y/N looks at Stanley, and so does Jay and Robin, while Stanley reached over his shoulder for his ringing cellphone. What a weird time for someone to be calling him. He hopes it's a simple question from one of his employeés and accepts the call. 

“Hello - Uris residence?” Stanley speaks. He puts his book down on his tummy and listens. 

“It's Mike. Mike Hanlon.”

“Who did you say?” Stanley asks, his brow now furrowed and eyes searching for answers. His tone and facial expression confuses his children. Jay watches her father very noticeably, while Robin only looks at him sideways, not wanting to be too obvious about it. Both his parents told him once it's not very polite to stare at others. “You... you! Well, I'll be damned,” Stan says with a chuckle and sees his wife shoots him a stern look about his use of words. The man nods and closes his eyes for a second, “Mike! How did y—”

He stops abruptly, and Jay hears that the person on the phone is speaking, telling her father something. Stanley doesn't say anything for a while, listening closely. “IT's come back, Stanley. Disappearances have started happening again, a girl, then a man, his body found—it's nasty business, but one thing is sure. IT is back.” Mike Hanlon tells him. 

“Are you sure, Mike?” Stanley tries to clarify.

“Yes, Stanley.” Mike confirms. “Remember you made a promise? We all did. That if IT comes back...”

“Then we come back, too.” Stanley finishes his friend's sentence, nodding. Stanley sighs and looks at Robin, immediately thinking of himself as a kid. He clings to his youngest child. 

Stanley thinks what would he do if Robin or Jay were in danger. He thinks how he'd feel if IT was after them, if he'd know about it. He wouldn't, if they were living in Derry, none of the adults there knew what was happening. God, he'd know nothing. And he couldn't help. 

“Of course I remember. I still have the picture.” Stanley tells Mike. “But are you sure—like, really sure?” He tries to clarify more. Mike chuckles into the phone, having expected something like this from his old friend.

“Yes, Stanley, I'm very sure.” Mike confirms it to him again. “You need to come home.” He tells him, and knows it's hard information to process and execute. “How soon can you?”

“Well, I would need to take care of a few things first, but um...” Stanley drifts off, thinking of the logistics of him going back to Derry, Maine. 

“Tomorrow.” Mike decides and Stanley takes a deep breath. He looks over at Jay, who's been looking at him as he talks. 

“What's wrong, Daddy?” Jay asks him, her head falling against his shoulder. She's noticed the nervous and fearful expression in her father's eyes, and her young mind grows nervous, too. Has something bad happened? 

Stanley only holds her hand and sighs. He savors this moment with his children in his reach and embrace, thinking what if this is the last time he can have this? Hold and feel his children together with him, lay with them on the couch, talk to them. 

He cannot risk IT taking over the rest of his life. Stanley's afraid, oh dear God, is he afraid. He's not sure he will be able to face IT and actually fight IT again. Even though it feels like he'll be doing it the first time. Why? He can't guess. The memories haven't even faded. 

Stanley would never wish that his children go through what he did when he was a kid. Not one piece of it. His childhood was very wide in range, jumping from worst to best in short periods of time. Stanley would never want his children to be as scared as he was, see the things he saw and live with those pictures in the back of their minds for the entirety of their lives. 

He needs to stop this while he can. So that no child ever has to go through what he and his friends did. So that no one dies this horrible death or loses their friends or family to a mystical, malicious being. And, over all, he's doing it for his own children. So that they would grow up without fear and without monsters under their bed.

“Okay.” Stanley tells Mike, nodding. “I'll be there tomorrow.” He tells Mike finally.

“Can't wait to see you, Stan the man.” Mike says as good-bye and hangs up the phone. Stanley sighs, closing his eyes, and puts his phone back in its place on the night stand behind him. 

“Who was that, Stan?” Y/N questions, having set closer to Stanley and their children. The TV's volume has been turned down. Y/N reaches her hand out to Stanley's and grips it tight, noticing that her husband looks a little lost. 

“An old friend. From Derry.” Stanley finally says, meeting Y/N's eyes. “There's bad things happening over there. I have to help him.” Stanley tells his family. Jay puts both her arms around her father's neck, trying to hug him, comfort him. 

Y/N nods, realising it's serious what Stanley is talking about. “Okay. You gotta be there tomorrow?” She asks and Stanley nods. He rests his head on Jay's and pulls Robin in his lap, too. Wanting to embrace his children as tight as he can. 

“I don't want you coming with me.” Stanley says, then, feeling himself close to tears. “It's dangerous, very dangerous.”

Y/N wants to ask questions, she's always wanted to ask questions about his strange nightmares, the strange muttering under his breath or strange things that he'd say out loud here and there. It's always confused her, but she's realised with time that it's something Stanley doesn't understand to the fullest and is still afraid of. So she doesn't ask why it's dangerous now. But she knows that he can't go alone.

“No, no.” She shakes her head. “I'm coming with you, if it's dangerous. And we can take our birdies to Grandma's.” Y/N caresses Jay's cheek, moving her hair out of her face. “You haven't been to Grandma's in a while.”

“I wanna go with Daddy.” Robin says and looks at his father. Stanley looks at his son and almost starts crying on the spot. Stanley shakes his head. Oh, the horrors that would occur if he brought his beautiful family to the horrid dump that is Derry. He can't allow it.

“You can't, little man.” Stanley tells his son. “It's too dangerous for children there.”

“Don't kids live there?” Jay asks. Oh, God, Stanley doesn't know what to tell her. He can't lie, but he can't tell her the scaring truth about why she or Robin shouldn't come with him.

“They do, but they're all in danger. And I can't risk putting you in danger.” Stanley says, tears now streaming down his face, while he tries to keep quiet. This is going to be hard. He wipes his tears and sighs deeply. “So, my little birdies, Mommy and me will take you to Grandma's and we will be back in a few days.” Stan tells his children finally, having decided their plan of action.

“Promise you'll be back soon, Daddy.” Robin pleads. 

“I promise, Rob.” Stanley lays a kiss on his son's forehead. He gives the same to his daughter and pulls his children even closer to himself. “You're going to be safe after this.”

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Stanley Uris tag-list: @nightbu-g @sadhwstudent @shawni-h @gothackedalready @seasidecrowbar

I sure hope you like this! 

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

Lethobenthos || Mike Hanlon x Reader [PREVIEW]

𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙗𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨 // n. the habit of forgetting how important someone is to you until you see them again in person

- dictionary of obscure sorrows

I hope you enjoy this sneak peek of Lethosbenthos, [Mike x Reader Rewrite] coming soon! Please let me know if you'd like to added to the future taglist!

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

     "Mike! Party of eight!"

     Mike casts one last sweep across the waiting area, no sign of anyone yet. Eagerly, he pushes himself off the wall - he had given up his seat to a little boy, his parents grateful but truthfully he was restless. He soon falls in line with the waitress, and as she rounds a few corners, Mike subconsciously takes note of the route to his table. For a moment he allows himself the distraction of the savory smells wafting into his nose, though the distraction is quickly replaced by thoughts. Thoughts of her.

     Would she actually come? Would she be happy to see him again? And just how much would she remember? She was very distant and quiet when he called her. It nearly broke his heart when she said those two words. He could still hear them bouncing around his skull, echoing in the farthest corners of his mind.

     Mike who?

     "Here is your table, sir, and your menus" the waitress makes a quick round about the table dealing the folders quickly. "Now will the rest of your party be arriving shortly?"

     Mike's eyes flickered past the waitress and where they had just arrived from, and he smiled nervously.

     "I hope so," he mumbled, a nervous chuckle vibrating through his chest.

     The waitress frowned a little at this, tilting her head and Mike was quick to correct his mistake.

     "They should be, yes. Yes, thank you,"

     The waitress smiled and nodded her head slightly in relief. Without another word, she disappeared around the corner. Mike found himself pacing, his hands, he realized, were sweating. Anxiously, he wipes his palms on his jeans and begins drumming his fingers on his legs as he walks.

     His mind returns to the Losers, and he begins to picture how they might have aged. Not so much physically, but emotionally. Morally. Most of them sounded quite uncertain, though he couldn't really blame them. But the question was, would they still be willing to fight? And what would he do if they weren't? Mike really didn't want to think of such a thing. Not only because the task of defending the town would fall to him, but he refused to believe his friends would abandon him. Leave him to fend for himself.

     No. No, that wasn't them. Hell, they didn't even know him and they all put their asses on the line to protect him from Bowers. The infamous rock fight. Mike thought about that day a lot. He had lived in Derry all his life and that was the first time he could remember feeling truly at home since his parents had passed. That very day, Ben had taken them all to the clubhouse he had refurbished, a place they could all call their own. This was another detail that warmed Mike's heart. The fact that not only had these six strangers saved him and his best friend, but had welcomed them in with open arms, without even a second thought. From the moment the first rock was cast across the Barrens, he was a Loser, through and through.

     Mike takes note of the dull ache blossoming at the bottom of his heels where they dug into the worn-out souls of his shoes. He shifted on his feet, shaking out each shoe just enough to readjust before he resumes his pacing. Though he thinks better of it and does his best to remain in one place. He is still much too restless and uneasy to take a seat, so he glides across the carpeted floor and directs all his attention to the extravagant fish tank extending along the wall.

     His eyes scan the water, searching desperately for another distraction. Unable to go much longer thinking about the wait and stomach much too upset to focus on anything his phone might provide. Finally, his eyes catch sight of a strikingly beautiful fish, with brilliant stripes and colors. It weaves in and out throughout the many planted ornaments of synthetic seaweed and ceramic rocks, only to glance up at Mike.

     The fish continues to stare at Mike, mouth opening and closing, but eyes never faltering and it's body - apart from its slim fins - hardly moves, it seemed unnatural to him. Mike tenses, he can feel his jaw grow tight and sore from clenching - he had made an awful habit of that as of late, what with everything going on. He attempts to steady his breathing, preparing himself for the worst. But the fish merely turns away, disinterested and retreats into its rather luxurious ceramic palace in the corner of the tank.

     Mike sighs, rubbing the strain from his eyes and that is when he hears it. That captivating voice. The voice that haunted him for twenty-seven years. I'll call you. The last three words she had spoken to him since their departure at the train station that woeful evening. Of course it wasn't her fault as Mike would later come to learn, everyone who left Derry seemed to forget everything of the small town.

     But that voice, he could never forget her voice, no matter how hard he tried. The voice of his best friend, the butcher's daughter that had greeted him eagerly with a smile and portions of food she would smuggle from her father's shop for him on his deliveries because she knew he never had time for breakfast. The girl who stole his heart with every laugh, every passion-fueled rant, every sarcastic remark, and every spitfire response when she had been pushed just far enough. And the girl who broke his heart when she disappeared from his life so suddenly.

     "Mike?"

     His heart pounding so violently against his ribs he fears it will break them, Mike turns around to face her. Like the fish in the tank just moments ago, he finds his mouth opening and closing sporadically and he attempts to close it to the best of his ability. There she stood, the waitress retreating around the corner behind her but Mike could only register the woman before him. Mike noticed several things about her at once, a great overwhelming deal the moment he laid eyes on her.

     He noticed that despite the inevitable physical toll of time, she looked the same. Hauntingly similar, in fact. Even her choice of clothes was strikingly close to what he last saw on her. It almost looked as if she had never gotten off the train until tonight, never changing, but waiting. For this moment. For this stop.

     Her eyes said different, they were still a brilliant shade of E/C but now they held experience and knowledge. They had seen many places. Her S/C skin only proved this theory, it seemed slightly darker than he remembered, she looked as if she had spent many years in the sun. She held herself the same, still tall and striving for confidence but this time he could sense it. The confidence was stronger, more concentrated, she had certainly found it somewhere along the way. But her smile. It was the same broken smile she had given him the day they were forced to say goodbye.

     The smile that said, I'm sorry. She wore it even now. It was hauntingly beautiful but it didn't help his aching heart. She did though. Her being there was enough to make it stronger again. For when Mike looked at her now, he didn't see the years lost between them like assumed he would, nor did he see a stranger as he feared despite the clear displacement she showed. But he saw his long lost love, the girl he could never quite shake from his mind, the girl whose words and actions bled through his conscience and into his own everyday life.

     He saw his best friend.

     "Y/n."

[spooky-raccoon]

Little Lady (One Shot)

A Robert Gray x Female reader one shot I needed to get out of my head.

Tag list: @trig-loves-clowning-around @rottenhearts-and-sharpteeth @elisabethwise @originalclodmakergarden @cum-a-calla

          The circus came into town and the excitement and thrills called my name to it.  Or perhaps it was something else.  I didn’t really question it when something fun and new came into the boring little town of Derry.  All I knew though was when the circus settled in for the next two weeks I eagerly made my way to enjoy the festivities.  The buzz of excitement I felt joined in with the circus music as I feasted on different sweets and pastries, went on some of the rides and enjoyed the show at the big top.

         That was the night I ran into Bob Gray.  A tall, lanky, older looking man who had a peculiar look in his eye like something perverted or cruel was always on his mind.  I had learned in the time follow those were true. I had made a wrong turn and ended up at the trailers.  I didn’t mean to run into him, but I ended up on my ass, yelping as I hit the ground. There was an annoyed look on his face for just a moment but over all he chuckled, offering a hand to help me up. That moment on was a blur.  We made idle chit chat with him asking some questions if I lived in town, if I was enjoying the circus.  Simple things for the moment until he leaned in and started to whisper all sorts of dirty and twisted in my ear that made my body shudder. He had a way of doing that over and over and over again.  I couldn’t help myself come back for more.

         It had come to the last day the circus would be in town and once again I found myself in Bob Gray’s trailer.  It was dimly lit with a couple of lanterns and he even had tidied it up a little bit.  Something he had started to do to make me feel more comfortable and welcome despite us making a mess of it when we would have our fun.  We didn’t jump into sex right away that night but instead found ourselves laying in the cot he had against the wall.

         “We leave in the morning.  You sure you want to spend another night with this gross old man?” He chuckled as his fingers worked through my hair slowly that traveled to the small of my back then back up to repeat the process.

         “I couldn’t imagine spending it anywhere else.”  My face tilted up to him and to see his oddly gentle smile but there was that weird sparkle in his eye that made me know something was on his mind.  He looked so pleased with himself to rope someone in so quickly.  “I’m just happy to know that you’d want me here on your last night.”

         For a moment he was quiet until he patted my shoulder which was my signal to sit up.  We only had been around each other for a such a short time but already there was an odd connection between the two of us.  Something that always pulled me back and I couldn’t put my finger on it. I watched him as he got up from the cot and go over to some drawers in front of his vanity. My brow raised as he was starting to gather a few things from here and there in his trailer.  He gestured a hand to one of the stools and I followed suit to sit on one of them.  He was humming a jaunty tune as he was starting to put things on the vanity. Makeup.  Clown makeup.  I raised a brow as I looked at the different colors to him.

        “What’s those for, Mr. Gray?”  I put a leg over the other as I waited patiently, my curiosity only peaking.

        “Figured we can have a little bit of playing around fun.  I want to turn you into a clown like old Pennywise himself.”  He chuckled heartily as he settled down on the stool in front of me.  “Just hold still for me little lady and we’ll get you all ready for the circus.”

         Robert continued his jaunty tune with a mixture of humming and whistling as he slathered on the white grease paint onto my face.  It was cold at first which sent goosebumps along my body. Next, came the colors.  Red for my lips pulled up into a smile.  Not too big but just a little over drawn from my natural lips with the edges ending in a sharp point.  On my nose he also put a red dot, one like his that took over the whole tip of the nose.  In the center of the red nose he put a bright yellow dot.  Not too big but still noticeable.  I could feel him paint triangles on the bottom of my eyes that pointed downwards in a bright blue color.  After a few thoughtful hums and few touch ups here and there, he held up a small hand mirror so I could look myself over.

         “I like it a lot.  I think I’d make a pretty cute clown.”  I chuckled as I looked up from the mirror to him who smiled.

        “Indeed, you would little lady.  One mighty cute little clown.”  His tongue flicked out to lick at his lip as his eyes looked over my face.  He was pleased with his work, surely but that didn’t mean he didn’t have some depravities on his mind.  He always did.

         He stood up from his stool, scooting it back to give himself enough room. I watched his face for just a moment until my face fell to his crotch where he was starting to undo his pants. I could see the bulge that was pressed against the fabric of his pants and it sent a shiver through my spine.

         “You’ve been wanting my cock since you walked out your door. Could smell you from miles away and it only got worse with each step close to my little trailer.”  His words were mocking as he finished undoing his pants and let them fall to the ground when he unclipped his suspenders.  “I want to see those pretty red lips around my cock as I mess it all up.  Go on. Show me how badly you want my thick cock fucking you wide open.”

          His cock was freed and precum was already oozing from the tip.  The way I eagerly grabbed onto his hips to bright him forward more made him chuckle.  His hands planted firmly on the back of my head, but he made no move to fuck my throat like he had done before.  My eyes locked with his as I licked from the base of his cock to the tip, swirling my tongue around the head to get every drop of precum I could get.  He groaned out and his grip on my head got tighter as he was holding himself back.  I knew I could only get away with a little teasing before he would just take me how he desired so I only did a few more licks to get his cock ready.  

        I pressed my tongue flush to the underside of his cock as I bobbed my head along the length.  The familiar and blissful sting was starting to come over my throat.  I hadn’t healed just fully yet from the last time he used my throat but that was fine.  The pain melted everything together in such a perfect melody of my arousal for him and my desire to please him in anyway I could.  

         “That’s a good girl.  You love sucking my cock don’t you?  You don’t need to say anything.  I can tell by the way your eyes are looking at me right now.”  He chuckled through his moans, his hands gathering my hair into a ponytail for him to hold onto.  “Such a good little whore.  I should just take you with me.  I wouldn’t be able to find such a perfect little slut like you in any other town.  You want to come with too.  I can see it.  You want to stay with your nasty old man, no matter what and where he went.” I wish I could have said something. A yes or even just make a whimper that sounded like it, but I was focused on taking him more and more which only made my throat burn worse.  “Could just take you away and you’ll be all mine.  Yeah, you want that.  You want to be used the only way I can use you.”  I could feel drool dripping down my chin and his smirk only got crueler as he saw the drool drip down on my breasts.  “Nasty little girl.  Nasty whore for your old man.”

          With that he grabbed the back of my head on either side and took over. His thrusts were deep, making me gag on his cock with each thrust that only made him laugh more and more each time. My eyelids were fluttering as I tried to focus on relaxing my throat at least until he decided he wanted to fuck me. More drool cascaded down from my lips and my nails were digging into the flesh of his hips.  When he had enough of my mouth he picked me up with such ease by my hair which made me cry out, but my body begged for more, for harder.  He turned me to face the large vanity mirror where we had sat not too long ago to do the makeup that was now much more smeared around my lips.

          “Look at you.  All painted up and being fucked like a good little slut.”  Robert growled in my ear, one hand in my hair still while the other worked on removing my pants.  Something was inhuman about him and about the way he so easily tore off the clothes from my body.  Soon they were tattered on the ground, but I didn’t care.  Robert had started having me keep spare clothing in his trailer. Just in case.  “Spread you legs nice and wide for me.”  I did as told and he leaned me over just a little and I put my hands on the vanity to brace myself.  “Your arousal is so intoxicating.”

         He was soon knelt down behind me and I felt his face press into me. His large hands gripped where my ass and thighs met to spread my legs even more.  His tongue worked its magic along my folds, occasionally sucking on them to make me cry out in a way he loved to hear.  Between sucking and dipping his tongue inside me he would bite along my thighs and the soft flesh of my ass which made me moan loudly each time. My hands grabbed at the edges of the vanity desk, my knuckles turning white as he would drag out the pleasure to the point where I was so close to climaxing but then he would pull away.

         “Please.  Please sir, I want to cum.”  I whimpered out as he edged me again, closer than he had before.  All I could hear was his laugh coming from behind me.

         “So impatient.  You know I’ll take care of you.  I always do.” He stood up and his hands ran slowly along my skin.  “Gonna take you away with me.  Going to keep you as mine.  Whatcha say to that my sweet little thing?”  I felt the head of his cock press against my entrance as his hands met my shoulders where he firmly grabbed.  “Be my little lady?  Be my Mrs. Gray?”

        My heart skipped a few beats at his questions.  Run away with him and be his.  Run away from this little town for a little while to go with the circus. Be his woman and have him fill me with his babies.  Oh, how he loved to talk about the idea of giving me his brood and how my body ached for it. I looked him in the mirror to see that signature smile, knowing he would get what he wanted.  He always did and with my nod only made that smile even wider.

        With that he slid into me, stretching my walls painfully but the only way I wanted them to be used.  He set a rough pace that was rocking the trailer just a little bit.  It even shook some things on the shelves around us. Every now and then he would give me a hard smack on the ass, making me cry out.  He didn’t care if anyone heard us.  Frankly, I didn’t care either.  He fucked me on nearly every surface of his trailer that night and left a small trail of my makeup wherever he would use me.  There would be a small story of what happened that night from what had been smeared here and there.  

         Robert eased me into the cot after cleaning me up.  He may have been a cruel, perverted man but he made sure to always take care of me afterwards.  He got what was remaining of the makeup off my face and that I was nicely tucked in with his fluffier pillow under my head.  I had passed out when he made sure to stock the trailer with more of clothes and some other essentials he knew I would need for me coming along. After the trailer was hitched he came back inside to crawl into the cot beside me.  I woke up for a brief moment to watch as he wrapped his long arms around me. I felt the trailer jostle and smiled to myself as I started to fall back asleep, eager for my new little life with the circus and beside Bob Gray as his little lady.

[asteriismos]

attention. - bill denbrough

authors note : this is the first chapter of ‘ballads 1′. 

warning(s) : underage drinking, college au, swearing, drug use, no pennywise bc i say so, toxic relationship between the reader and another guy,

words : 2.7 k

based off the song ‘attention’ by joji

bill denbrough always thought of himself as a hopeless romantic.

not just in the blatant lovers romance, but in all aspects of love in his life. love for his friends, love for his distant parents, love for writing. he has a large heart, a heart that leads with a strong pride that not many people are able to have. throughout his life he has always had a sense of longing. when he was younger it was always a longing for the future, to see what really was in store for him as soon as he graduated and moved away from derry, maine. 

but now that he grew older and was going to turn twenty one this next year, bill realized that he didn’t just have a longing for the future, but the past as well. he missed his friends, though they were only a phone call away, he missed the sense of nostalgia that he always got in those summers in derry. when him and his friends would swim for hours in the quarry and mess around at mr keene’s pharmacy enough to make the old man want to rip his hair out. 

it was not his idea to join a frat. it really wasn’t. honestly it made bill a little bit sick to his stomach at the fact that he did. though upon realizing that he longed for that sense of friendship that he had in derry ( though the losers could never be replaced ), bill thought that maybe it would be a good idea. 

he also played a lot of baseball, which landed him in one of the most popular frats at his colleges. a bunch of his teammates also were a part of it and got him to join once and for all. bill was a really good baseball player, he always has been for some unknown reason. and he loved it, almost as he loved studying english for his degree. there was just something about being on that field in the hot sunlight that made bill like he had a sense of place in the world. wearing that jersey made him feel like he was a part of something, a family, and he got the same sense with the brothers in his frat. 

the same frat that he was a part of also hosted the best goddamn parties. bill never thought of himself as a party animal, and he really wasn’t that wild, but on special occasions he was. he’d flash that million dollar smile, shine those pretty green eyes, and be the life of the party. 

tonight was one of those nights. it was the night of the big win anyways. bill had made the game winning home run, making him the topic of the entire party. 

little did bill know, this party that he is the topic of would change his life forever. 

- 

you, on the other hand, didn’t know what the hell you were doing at a frat party. it was the least favorited place of yours. and if you had any say in the matter, you would’ve just rather stayed in your dorm to read a book, watch netflix, or do literally anything other than be where you are right now. 

you used to be an independent person. coming from a small town, you were always the person who everyone admired for being so out of the social norm. you were outgoing, charismatic, the ideal friend. and still somehow you had really good grades to get you into a good college. 

now that you were in that college, however, you changed. no longer were you really the outgoing type, you were still charismatic but limited, and you didn’t have many friends. this was all because of the boy you met in freshman year college calculus, his name was liam. at first, liam was the ideal guy for you. he was everything that you could’ve imagined in a boy. at first he was nice, funny, charming, someone who everyone knew. when he asked you out for the first time your heart soared with excitement for that first date. everything went perfectly planned, and you believed that you had a partner for life. 

then somewhere after the first three months, something changed. liam got hotheaded, never hitting you, but lashing out with his words. he would get jealous when you talked to other guys and sometimes even your girl friends. then when you would call him out on it, he would manipulate you into thinking that it was your fault for making him angry, which after a while, you started to believe. you knew that it was a wrong relationship, but to some degree you still really liked liam. when liam was in a good mood, he was a good boyfriend. the only problem was when he was in a bad mood . . . he really wasn’t. 

you were never the submissive type until you met liam. a part of you wanted to cut him out of your life forever and try to build yourself up again to where you had been before, but you were too scared of what would happen if you did. liam had connections, he would make your life a living hell if you broke up with him. so you stayed with him, despite you not loving him. liam always reminded you that he loved you, even if it took him a few insults to get there. 

dressed in a black tank top and dark blue jeans, you walked into the front door of the frat party on 18th street. at first you were even surprised that liam was allowing you to go to this party with him. he loved baseball and went to all the games, but he never took you to the parties that occurred afterwards because he was too scared of you getting too much attention. though tonight he was in a good mood, only commenting on your choice of outfit. liam said that he didn’t want anyone else to see that much of your skin, but that there wasn’t enough time for you to get out of his car and go back up to your dorm to change. 

he said that it would be an exception.

a few other of liam’s friends walked behind you and him, him holding you by the waist, into the crowd of people that had pooled into the large house. a few people you recognized from around the campus and in your various classes, though the only people you really knew were liam and his friends. 

and then the strangest thing happened. 

liam’s arm went off your waist. which wasn’t the strangest thing, no, the strangest thing was when he walked away from you with his friends. without a word, he walked away. it was so unlike him to leave you alone in a public place, though the more you listened to your surroundings, the more you heard the mention of some coke that someone had gotten. that’s what got his attention. 

now here you stood, alone in a crowd. and despite the irony of it, you couldn’t have been more happy. 

bill thought that you were the most beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life. 

he was standing on the grand staircase when you walked into his large house. at first he didn’t notice because his mouth was on a red solo cup, taking a long swig of the liquid that would end up being his luck. as he pulled the cup away, his buddy harrison was talking about the game and how he thought that they weren’t going to win until bill made the winning hit. and usually he would accept the praise with open arms but in that moment he could care less about his baseball skills and more about you, who stood alone with a detached look on your face. 

it was such a change from the normal girls that went to these parties. usually they would have giddy, almost too happy smiles on their faces to be at probably their third party this week. they threw themselves at the guys in his frat like they had no self worth, and dressed in the most skimpiest outfits that probably would get them kicked out at a restaurant for public nudity. it took bill a few drinks to find these girls attractive. and it wasn’t because they weren’t pretty, most of them were drop dead gorgeous, but it was because they didn’t have a personality outside of being a sorority girl. 

you didn’t seem to be that person. and he definitely hasn’t seen you at a party before or he would’ve approached you before. 

with a quick excuse, bill made his way down the stairs past the people standing and talking, all the way to where you were standing. your eyes were low so you didn’t see him until he said, “d-do you want a drink?” damn. he wished that he had payed some more attention in speech therapy as a teen because in this moment, he was more than embarrassed that he had a stutter. being the golden boy of the baseball team didn’t seem fitting for a boy with a stutter, yet here he was.

your previous gaze of the solid dark brown mahogany wood was replaced with white high top converse shoes pointing right at you, to which you looked up to be met with green eyes. and for a moment that scared you because for the longest time you’ve stared into liam’s brown eyes forever, trying to find a hint of hope in them, and now that you’re staring into the green eyes of this stranger. . . you see the hope almost like a blinding light. 

liam doesn’t like when you drink.

“i'm-” you start, cutting off your words when it starts to feel like cotton is being shoved down your throat. what you were about to say is that you’re taken. and technically you are, but it wasn’t cheating to accept a drink from someone. for all you knew, this stranger is just being nice. 

“i'm y/n,” you corrected yourself, giving the boy in front of you a smile. 

bill, admittedly, felt like a little kid again with a crush. because the second that you talked to him, his heart started to soar to cloud nine. your voice felt like everything that he was missing in his life and the more he stared at you the more he wanted to get to know you. he wanted to know all your hopes, aspirations, your favorite color . . . everything that you would possibly let him know. and bill knew that it was wrong to think this much about someone who he has only spoken four words to, but as said before, he was a hopeless romantic. 

in fact, he was surprised that you were even giving him the light of day, especially since he was staring into your eyes a little bit too long for someone you just met. 

if only he knew that you had been seeking some kind of validation like this for almost two years now. 

giving that same boyish grin that had been on his face when he first spoke to you, he said, “i’m bill. it’s n-nice to meet y-y . . .” he cursed under your breath too silently for you to hear. “you,” he finally got out, cheeks blazing red with embarrassment. 

you only smiled, nodding your head, deciding not to even acknowledge his stutter. which he silently thanked you for. 

“bill,” you said, testing how the name felt on your tongue. it felt nice, rolling off like honey. the second that you said it, bill felt like he could live a lifetime of you saying that name. he tried to capture the moment, playing it on repeat over and over in his brain. it sounded so perfect, so pure, it was everything that he wanted. 

fuck off bill, you’re falling in love with a stranger, at least get to know her a little bit beforehand. 

“s-so do you want that d-d-drink?” he asked again, motioning over to the kitchen where the lines of cups stood, just waiting to be picked up by another eager college student. 

and, taking a leap of faith towards bill with the hopeful green eyes, you nodded your head and said, “yes.”

-

bill watched as you spoke with a smile, sitting next to you and admiring the light in your eyes as you spoke about your hometown. he quickly realized after hearing you talk to him even more, that he could listen to you speak forever and not say one word back. your voice was passionate, speaking with a fire behind it that you realized you haven’t had in a while. 

both of you sat on a lawn chairs in the backyard of the house, where not a lot of people were so it was quiet enough to talk without screaming over the music that boomed in the inside. 

now that you were without the cloud in your life for almost two hours into this party, you had broken out of your shell a little bit. it was nice. for a few moments you started to feel like yourself again. 

and the more you got to know bill, the more you liked him. he was nice, funny, came from a small town just like you, and was super easy to talk to. you were patient while he worked out the words that took him a moment to say with his stutter, which you learned was something that not a lot of people did in his life. he told you about how his own parents got annoyed with it sometimes, and how the frat brothers would start talking over him while he worked out words. it saddened you that you were one of the only people who was patient with him, since bill seemed like someone everyone liked. 

“so you’re telling me you’re the reason this whole party is even happening?” you asked him, a small hiccup followed soon after and a giggle. 

bill rolled his eyes jokingly. “y-yes. but please it’s n-n-not that big of a d-deal. my friends a-are just over the t-t-tuh-top.” 

you shrugged. “i’ve never really been to one of these before, so to me it is a big deal. i’m with the star of the party!”

“stop it,” bill joked. “i’m n-not a star. f-f-far from it.”

you didn't think so. 

“whatever you say, billy denbrough,” you teased. maybe you did have a little bit too much to drink after all. 

“b-b-but im glad that you’re here,” bill said, giving you a look. his eyes never left your face while it looked at his with such wonder. “it’s n-n-not every day i get t-to talk to pretty g-girls.”

now that threw you through a loop. it’s not every day i get to talk to pretty girls. talk to pretty girls, pretty girls, pretty girls. he thinks that i’m a pretty girl.

you were about to answer, but your phone buzzed, prompting you to take it out of your back pocket and look at the text. it was liam, asking you where the hell you were and that he wants to leave. you looked around the vacinity to see if somehow liam spotted you, but he wasn’t there. thank god, because you couldn’t have imagined if liam saw you talking to bill. he would never let you out of his sight again, he wouldn’t let you out of his grasp . . . suddenly your heart started to race, and you felt the borderline panic attack that washed over your body. 

you need to leave before he gets mad, if he isn’t already. 

“i have to go . . . it was nice to meet you bill,” you said, giving him a wave and walking towards the house to leave. 

bill stood up, about to question your sudden shift in behavior. it happened right after he complimented you and now he believes that he has said the wrong thing. he’s pushed his luck too far. bill felt like an idiot. then again, your whole demeanor had shifted the moment you checked your phone, so maybe he hadn’t been the reason. 

standing there dumbfounded, all he could think about is how much he longed to see you again.

[anxiouslymalicious]

Losers Club Plus One  Part 2

Richie Tozier x daughter!reader series. Read part 1 here!

A/N: Thank you so much for all the positive feedback! Here comes part 2! It’s almost 4,000 words so you might want to take some time to read through this. As mentioned in the previous part, trigger warnings apply, this is IT so shit might not be too easy for some people and I’m trying to be as close to the movie as possible, but some things might be closer to the book and stuff. 

I hope you enjoy!

Y/N was rather quiet on the ride to the restaurant. Richie, in his nervous manners, tried to tease her into talking to him, told her where he got beat up by the Bowers again ‘because they were intimidated by my dashing appearance’ he told his daughter with a grin, but she was lost in her thoughts. Not only lost, Richie thought, she looks like she is drowning in her own mind. He didn’t blame Y/N though. He couldn’t. Not when he remembered how shaken he was after his first encounter with IT. How much he tried to deny that what he had seen was real and true, how often he told himself that the encounter with the Paul Bunyan stature was nothing but a dream and how scared he was after Bill, Big Bill, had almost been killed by a picture.

“Listen, what you saw there- “

“Is that why you didn’t want me here, dad? That… Thing? Whatever that was?” Y/N interrupted her father mid-sentence, her voice hoarse and thick with unshed tears. After the whole encounter with IT, the young girl showered faster than she ever had before in hopes of getting rid of the dirty feeling all over her skin, the goo that seeped out of the thing she stabbed and the blood. Not only the blood that covered the man’s arms, but also her own blood. Richie had tended to the wound on her forehead and cleaned the other smaller scratches that IT had left on her body. It hurt him, physically hurt him, to see his daughter like that, he cursed himself for taking her with him but what choice did he have? She was left on his doorsteps as a baby, with only a card, telling him the little girl’s name and that she was the result of a one-night stand Richie couldn’t remember, a result the mother didn’t want to deal with, but no name of the mother. And, although most of the neighbourhood was nice, Richie didn’t consider any of them an option for her, after all, he didn’t talk to them much. He didn’t even know their names. His manager might have been an option, having spent countless hours with Y/N as she grew up, but he was already pissed off at Richie’s sudden departure, surely, he wouldn’t do the pair another favour. Leaving Y/N alone at home was the last option, but what kind of option was that? Richie wasn’t even sure that he would get out of there alive, did he really want to leave her alone like that, probably with nothing more than a call by Mike telling her that her father wouldn’t return? Just the thought made Richie’s heart ache beyond what he thought was possible.

“We called it IT. I’m sure the other losers can help me explain. Because, fuck, I don’t know how to explain this shit to you. I don’t even know if I understand any of this.” Richie replied. Ever since they arrived in Derry, he had been strangely serious, noticed Y/N.

“It’s alright.” She mumbled before leaning against the car window. The cold was very welcome, the steady hum of the car helping her ground herself. She still couldn’t grasp what had happened not long ago, but she was sure there would be a logical explanation. Right?

Her thumb flew up to her face and the girl nervously bit down on the nail, careful not to bite it off, but trying to find something to take her mind off. She could have played some stupid game on her phone or tell one of her friends what had happened, but she didn’t feel like either of them. Especially not when she knew that her friends would get a room ready for her at the local nuthouse.

“It’s not, we both know that. That stupid clown is lucky I wasn’t in the room. Would have done the job myself and ripped his head off for going near my baby.” Richie fell back into an angry grumble. His hands tightened around the steering wheel and the car sped up a little. Y/N lifted her head from the window to look at her father. After his eyes started burning again short before leaving for the lunch, Y/N managed to convince him to take out his contact lenses and wear his glasses instead. He reluctantly agreed, although he hated how big his eyes looked behind the thick lenses. It reminded him of his childhood. How the other kids made fun of his coke-bottle glasses. How often Bowers broke his glasses and Richie shamefully had to tell his parents that he would need a new pair. The glasses made Richie feel self conscious and insecure in his appearance. 

Richie’s eyes, although they appeared huge behind the thick glasses, were narrowed. He looked like he had been through hell already and Y/N was sure that they hadn’t seen the worst yet.

“Dad?” Y/N asked desperately. Richie hummed in reply, not taking his eyes off the street and the passing cars as he drove through the familiar yet unfamiliar streets, passing buildings he tried to remember. It was hard though. Richie often wasn’t sure whether a house had a few exterior changes done, was still the same as it had been when he left, or if it hadn’t existed altogether when he was a child.

“I love you.” She continued in a soft voice, searching his face for a reaction. Immediately, his face softened, he looked more at ease after hearing those words, like he hadn’t failed completely at his job as a father in those last hours. His body relaxed lightly, leaning back into the seat, his hands less cramped around the steering wheel.

“I love you too. And I know that I don’t tell you often, but I’m actually very happy that you were the fastest swimmer and your mother didn’t swallow.” Richie replied with a grin, taking his eyes off the road for a second to watch her face, knowing that his words would earn him at least a small smile from you. And, lo and behold, the girl scoffed, a grin on her lips as she punched her father’s shoulder gently, in a playful manner that he knew too well.

“You’re disgusting.”

“If I am, then so are you. I made you, remember?”

“How am I supposed to remember when you can’t remember shit?”

“Low blow, shitface, low blow.” Richie laughed. The first of many hearty laughs of the night, but they didn’t know. The atmosphere shifted. Somehow, the duo felt as though they finally had some air to breathe, the car didn’t seem to suffocate them anymore. Y/N felt relaxed, like whatever the thing was that attacked her earlier couldn’t get to her. Not right now. She was safe with her father. And her father was safe with her.

It wasn’t long until they arrived at the restaurant, parked the car, but didn’t get out.

“Why aren’t you moving?” Richie asked his daughter, not daring to look at her and opting to look straight ahead, watching the leaves of the bushes and trees in front of them move with the wind. Occasionally, he heard a car moving behind him to park, followed by a muffled babble of voices growing quieter as they walked away from their car. Y/N mimicked her father’s actions.

“Why aren’t you?” she asked in return. Richie pushed her lightly before taking a deep breath and stepping out into the unfamiliar air around him. Nothing in this street was like it had been when he left his hometown, Mike had obviously chosen neutral ground, something that wasn’t connected to bad nor good memories. Something that wouldn’t make them feel like they were forcing themselves to, once more, become the young, mismatched, dorky group of losers when they really were middle-aged losers with rather average and boring lives. Lives that they enjoyed, but boring for the most part.

A light breeze. Chirping birds. Everything around them seemed strangely alive for a town in which people are murdered every day, Richie thought as he watched his daughter get out of the car before he locked it, taking her inside.

As soon as they entered the restaurant, they could feel the air buzzing with excitement. Wild chattering, children squealing, the clattering of plates and cutlery echoed to their ears as their noses were filled with the overwhelming smell of food. Y/N felt her stomach growl aggressively, her hand shot up to cover her stomach as her cheeks heated up in embarrassment.

“Time to feed the monster.” Richie told her, his hand resting on her back as he led her further into the restaurant. Mike was quick to spot his old friend, walked towards him and greeted the man with a hug.

“Richie. Good to see you.” Mike told him honestly, feeling the smaller man hug him a little tighter in return. “You too, Mike.” Richie replied with just as much honesty before he pulled out of the hug.

“This is Y/N, my daughter. Couldn’t leave her behind all on her own. Too much of a baby.” Richie introduced his daughter, who interrupted him with a surprised ‘hey’ before shaking Mike’s hand, ever so polite. He chuckled, although the surprise was clear on his face.

“I didn’t think someone so polite could be related to Richie Tozier. It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Mike Hanlon, an old friend of Richie.” Mike told the girl as he opened his arms to engulf her in a hug. She accepted the hug. Mike’s heart felt warm as he held the girl for a short moment, feeling like he had just become an uncle. Maybe he had. Maybe it had been an unspoken rule that people who used to be so close, shared a trauma like the losers had, grew to be uncles and aunts of each other’s children, but they hadn’t talked in 27 years. Were they still close enough to share a bond of such kind?

Richie grinned, his hands in his pockets as he watched proudly how his own flesh and blood bonded with one of his best friends, just like he had ages ago. It was like he was watching a younger version of himself although Richie thought that Y/N looked a lot more like her mother than him. He still couldn’t remember the woman, how she looked, what she was like, but in his mind, he built a version of her with all the unfamiliar features in Y/N’s face and her behaviour, her likes and dislikes.

“Is everyone else already here?” Richie suddenly asked, pulling himself out of his daydreams. He pushed his glasses back up his nose, it had slid down the bridge of his slightly sweaty nose, then looked towards the man whose face showed tiredness and exhaustion, overpowered by sheer happiness. Mike looked just like he did when he was a kid, Richie thought, just a little older.

“Everyone except Stan. But I’m sure he’ll join us later.” Mike explained, pointing towards a little room, exclusively reserved for the Losers Club, plus one who no one knew was coming yet. The duo followed Mike, Richie first, then Y/N. She felt like she should stay back for a bit, let them enjoy the moment together. So, as the men entered the much quieter room, she stayed at the door, moving behind it a little to watch the men and the woman hug each other, vividly talking about the things they just started remembering after Mike called. Once her father reached a slightly smaller man, she could see something else in his eyes. A smirk grew on her lips as she watched a banter ensue that he had never seen before. Her father was acting different than with all those women she had seen him with at afterparties or other events.The women he flirted with but never took home. There was something about the way he carefully, but tightly embraced the man, the way Richie’s eyes looked, how his smile reached his eyes, how he focused solely on teasing the smaller man.

Y/N giggled, deciding to keep an eye on the two men for the rest of their trip to Derry as her eyes travelled over the other people. A woman with vibrant red hair talked to a tall man, his hands cramped into his jeans pocket. He had dark hair, a goatee and looked rather attractive. But, as he was talking to the smaller woman, who seemed like she was aware of Y/N standing in the doorway, although her eyes were fixed on the man in front of her, a shy smile on her lips, he looked nervous. More nervous than Y/N would expect. And she wondered what caused it. Was it the fact that he was back in Derry? As she understood, all the losers hadn’t seen each other in decades, and it would be understandable if all of them were jittery to meet each other again. Or was it maybe the woman who made him so nervous that he had to rub his sweaty palms on his jeans every other minute? 

Y/N’s eyes wandered further. Another man was talking to Mike. He looked a bit more relaxed, but tense nonetheless. His hair was brown, like the other men’s. It was a lighter shade though, and, besides what Y/N thought might be a reddish tone in his hair, she noticed a few grey hairs. She locked eyes with said stranger who waved at her with a shy smile. Y/N felt like a little kid once more, desperately looking for her father as she felt an anxious tingle on her skin. He, however, was still busy teasing the man who looked exasperated, but happy.

“Hey, uh, Richie? I think you might have a fan.” The man said, nodding towards Y/N. Her eyes widened as her father grinned at her, motioning for her to come over and join them.

“As much as I hope that she is a fan of my work, she also is one of my better jokes. This is my daughter, Y/N.” Richie proudly stated, taking in the shocked faces of his friends. As he spoke, Y/N followed his motions, stepping into the room with quick steps until she reached her father’s side. Richie wrapped his arm around the jumpy girl’s shoulder, in hopes that he would calm her just a little. Despite the way he was acting, Richie was just as tense as everyone else about the situation. He thought that deep down all of them knew why they were here, but they were blissfully ignoring the real reason. 

“Don’t act like this is such a surprise now. Women could never resist my charm.” Richie was now grinning as his daughter giggled lightly next to him.

“We’re just surprised someone like you would ever have children. I pity your wife, but mostly the kid. She had to spend her whole life with you, assbag.” the man Richie had been bickering with replied before directing his attention to Y/N. “I’m Eddie and I’m so sorry you had to grow up with Richie as a father. I bet he’s just as bad as he was when I had to spent time with him.” He continued to introduce himself, sending her a wink at the last part. Y/N laughed shortly, nodding in agreement, before the two broke out in an awkward movement, not sure whether to shake hands or hug. Y/N finally settled for hugging him shortly before moving on, introducing herself to the other figures in the room.

Soon, the laughter died down and the Losers plus one settled down at the table. Y/N was sitting on one side of her father, Eddie on the other. The bickering went on, new memories resurfaced every few minutes and Y/N felt herself being pushed into the background. She didn’t mind, but she had to admit that she felt uncomfortably out of place with all the adults. Not because they were so much older, she thought as she watched them interact, no. The people at the table were all children. She just felt strange as everyone kept glancing at her seat, expecting someone else to sit there for a split second before remembering that he wasn’t there. 

After a more than satisfying dinner, the waitress brought fortune cookies into the room. Everyone excitedly grabbed one, opening them eagerly in hopes of making fun of whatever the cookie was going to tell them, but Richie dropped his own just as quickly as he had taken it. Disappointment was clear on his face.

“Either fortune isn’t on my side or these people are shit at making fortune cookies. Mine just says ‘could’.” Richie said, leaning back in his chair. Confusion erupted in the room as the other losers opened theirs, finding single words in each of theirs. That was the last calm moment before everyone was trying to make a sentence out of the words. The strangest combinations came to be. But there were still a few fortune cookies left unopened.

“Y/N have a cookie. What does yours say?” Richie asked as he passed his daughter one while Bill was busying himself opening the last one. But before Bill could read out what it said, which admittedly made his heart drop to the pit of his stomach, all eyes were on Y/N. As she had cracked the cookie open, warm red liquid sprayed out of it, staining her shirt and skin. She could feel a queasy sensation in her stomach which worsened to before unknown levels as she read the message inside the cookie.

“You’ll float too, just like Stanley.” She read out loud before rushing out of the room, out into the street, doubling over and throwing up near the sewer drain. Hot tears stung in her eyes as her knees grew weak and she finally had to kneel near her own vomit. Two warm hands placed themselves on her shoulder, before pulling the girl into a warm body behind her. Y/N struggled at first, not knowing who exactly was hugging her, squirming against the body until she heard her father’s raspy voice.

“Shh. That bitch won’t get you. It’s alright.” Richie mumbled into Y/N’s hair as she let loose, crying desperately into her father’s shirt, painful sobs wracking through her body.

“This is why we have to go down there again and kill IT. IT will kill each one of us if we don’t fight it. Don’t you want your daughter to be safe?” Mike argued while Eddie kneeled down next to the pair, passing the girl a tissue who gratefully took it. She mustered up the best smile she could before croaking out a ‘thank you’. Eddie just shook his head with a sad smile, patting her shoulder lightly. Richie had to fight back his own tears.

“Yes. I want to keep her safe more than anything. That’s why we’re going back to that fucked up hotel, pack our shit and fly the fuck home. I’m not going to let her stay here with that psycho clown running around, attacking and threatening my baby.” Richie yelled back, holding her shaky body closer to his own equally shaky body.

“He’s right, Mikey. I thought this was going to be a fun meeting. You should have told us why we were actually coming back.” Eddie joined in on the discussion, helping Richie and Y/N to their feet. Meanwhile, Beverly had called Stan’s number that Mike had given her, curious to find out whether IT’s threat, Guess Stanley Could Not Cut It, was true, what he meant exactly. It was only when she heard a painful sob at the other end of the phone that she realised that it wasn’t just an empty threat. Beverly felt her blood run cold, like it was actively freezing in her veins, as the other losers stopped talking, trying to listen in on the conversation between Bev and Mrs. Uris.

“We’re all very sorry, Patty.” Beverly said before the line went dead and the remaining losers were left in tears, with heavy hearts and thick tears that they tried to blink away. An angry exchange ensued with Richie suggesting to ‘undo’ the promise before storming off with his daughter under his arm, Eddie by his side.

 Beverly and Ben left next, not nearly as angry, but mainly heartbroken at finding out about the suicide of someone they loved. Bill and Mike were the only ones left at the Jade of the Orient.

Bill felt shaken up. Stan was dead. And Y/N was just a kid. Admittedly, she was older than they had been when they faced IT for the first time, but she shouldn’t have to face those things at all. No kid, no person should ever face IT. After Richie had lashed out at them, he felt even worse about her being in Derry than he did when he first spotted her. She was actively threatened, and Bill was aware that, for the time she spent in the small town, even if it wouldn’t be for long, she would need to be protected at all times by each of the losers. She was the only losers’ child, as Mike had pointed out throughout lunch, which was strange. After all, Bill and Audra had wanted a child and somewhat challenged their luck until their current project started, Eddie, Stan and Bev were all married so surely something could have happened, but somehow nothing did.

Bill shook off that thought. His eyes travelled back to the sewer where Y/N and Richie had been sitting just a few moments ago. And, as his gaze rested on the devilish thing, he was sure that his ears caught a children’s laughter.

“Please, just let me show you something. Afterwards, you can still decide if you want to leave. But I need you, Big Bill. Please, please stay. People are dying.” Mike pleaded. If there was one person who could get the losers to stay, it was Big Bill. The guy they all had looked up to as some sort of a leader, now as much as they had as children. The roles hadn’t changed over the past 27 years and they wouldn’t change in the next 27 years.

Bill reluctantly agreed, well aware that he would stay with Mike, no matter what he was about to show him.

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[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Bill denbrough’s daughter hc

A/N: these are headcanons about Bill as a dad so yeah hope you enjoy! Please request some stuff!  

warning: this is kinda sad 

- Okay so (lol I always open on this 😂😂) it was Audra who talked about having children for the first time 

- Bill was hesitant at first, because of what happened with Georgie. He never wanted anything remotely close like that happening ever again to someone he loved dearly 

 -so at first it was a hard no

 -but after seeing Bev and Ben’s son for the first time Bill realized that he too wanted a family of his own

 - he promised himself that he would die before he let what happened to Georgie happen to his child

 - surprisingly it did not take long at all for Audra to become pregnant at all

 - Audra (obviously) found out first 

 - she was surprised though because she had never expected to become pregnant as fast a she did 

 - she only took the test because she felt so nauseous and her acting was suffering 

 - as soon as she found out she was gonna be a mom she didn’t care about that anymore

 - she told Bill by buying one of his books that he had dedicated to her and writing on the first page: you better dedicate your next book to me daddy 

-Bill burst out in tears

 - he hadn’t even realized how much he wanted this

 - he spun Audra around and kissed her full on the lips 

 - Audra allowed Bill to choose the godparents, in return she got to name the baby

 - bill chose Richie and Stan

 - because Richie was fun and chaotic and could learn the baby how to stand up for themselves

 - and Stan because he was such a kind soul and would teach his kid everything important in life

 - they both spoil the baby

 - everyone was shocked because they thought that Richie would be the one to give the kid everything he/she wanted 

 - but they didn’t realize that Stan was the Same - the baby has them both wrapped around their fingers

 - but we’re getting ahead of ourselves

 - during birth Beverly was present 

 - and Bill of course

 - Audra really struggled because she wanted to do it without any medication

 - and she was close to giving up 

 - but then Bill kissed her sweaty forehead and whispered:

 - ‘just think of how happy you’ll be once our little angel is here. You’re gonna be such a great mom. I love you so much 

- so she pushed through 

- when the first cry of their beautiful baby girl could be heard, both Bill and Audra started crying

 -bev was the one holding them together 

 - Bill held his baby girl for the first time and kissed the baby’s forehead 

 - ‘I’ll never let anything happen to you. I swear on my life’

 - Audra chooses her name and decides to call her Jessica

 - okay so let me tell you, Bill is such a good dad 

 - he isn’t strict but he also sets clear boundaries

 - he always listen to his daughter when she’s had trouble

- he always listen to his daughter when she’s had trouble 

 - he always sticks up for her too, because in Bill’s eyes his daughter is always right

 - one time during the school play when she was 4 somebody pushed her from her spot, and then blames Jessica for it, but oh Big Bill was not on board with that

 - everybody learned not to mess with the Denbrough family that day 

 - he helps her in school too, with English mostly

 - she comes to her dad mostly with her problems

 - except for things like with boys and her period 

 - but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have an excellent relationship with her mom - her nickname is Dove 

 - Stan came up with it first and everyone just copied it 

 - except Bill, he calls her butterfly 

- She’s especially close with Stan, even though she really likes all the losers 

 - they go do fun stuff all time. One time they want to watch birds, but for her twelfth birthday they want on a weekend away together with Patty 

 - when she’s 10 Audra gets pregnant again 

 - and then her vision kinda shifts 

 - her sisters name is Leia by the way 

 - she loves her baby sister to death 

 - but at the same time she kinda feels in the background for everything now

 - like Bill will first go to Leia’s dance recitals and only then thinks about his firstborn 

 - or he always takes Leia’s word over Jessica’s, for the stupid stuff, like who broke the dollhouse 

 - and Jessica doesn’t mind so much, she knows Bill loves her just as much - but it still hurts sometimes

 - so She does everything she can to grab his attention 

 - she skips school or acts rude to him 

 - she knows it’s stupid but she doesn’t know what else to do 

- Her and her dad get into a really bad fight when she tries to paint her hair blue. I say try because Audra came home early and saw what she was doing and stopped her right away 

 - the other losers knows what’s up right away

 - but Bill is too dense for his own good sometimes 

 - when Mike comes to his house one day looking like he just been through hell Jessica knows something is up 

 - When her dad packs his bags and says he needs to leave for Derry, Jessica follows them 

 -she just wanted to help 

- when she gets there, she knows right away that she should have stayed home

 - Bill Denbrough finds his daughter’s corpse next to the same storm sewer where Georgie went missing all those years ago 

 - It was Stan who found Jessica actually, and it caused him to crumple down

 - Jessica had been like a daughter to him 

 - When he found her body he couldn’t contain his screams, which alerted Bill

 - Stan will never forgive himself for not stopping Bill from seeing his daughter like that 

 - Her lower half had been bitten off, her mount in a grimace with her arm stretched from one side to the other 

 - It was a gruesome sight 

 -  another promise Bill couldn’t keep

 -One promise he does get to keep though, is his promise to dedicate a book to his butterfly

 - And even though he can’t see it, every morning when the sun is still coming up, a beautiful butterfly appears at his window 

[ddproductionsw77]

Sweet Child O’ Mine

Fandom: IT (Muschietti Films)

Pairing(s): Reddie (Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak)

Characters: Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak and (OC) Cassie Tozier, (Mentioned) Bill Denbrough and Beverly Marsh

Rating: T (If language offends you, M but there is nothing sexual)

Description: Cassie wakes up in the middle of the night with a mild fever and Richie can’t just leave her alone in her nursery when she isn’t feeling good. (NextGen Baby Losers Fic)

Author’s Note: Kind of based off a request and kind of an idea I was already planning to do... it’s just been a long time since I’ve done any Baby Loser fics and there’s no reason for it! No more! Lyrics and title come from Guns ‘N’ Roses’ song, Sweet Child O’ Mine.

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Crying.

Eddie Kaspbrak woke up to the sound of crying. Groaning, he rolled over into his side and reaching out for the baby monitor on the bedside table. Turning the volume down, he reached over and shoved his boyfriend’s shoulder, barely managing to slur out, “Richie... Get the baby... She’s crying...”

He heard a groan, “Give her a minute...”

They laid together for a moment, listening to their baby daughter continue to cry. Soon, the pitch went even higher and the sound became even more desperate.

Eddie hit Richie again, “Go get her.”

“Fucking fine,” Richie complained, slipping out of bed.

Eddie rolled over on his stomach, hugging his pillow and muttering, “Don’t swear in front of her,” as he began to drift back off.

Richie rolled his eyes and made his way across the hall, running a hand down his face. His body was still adjusting to parenthood and late night wake up calls. He didn’t understand entirely why waking up two or three times a night was so much harder for his body than pulling an all nighter here and there back in college but fuck was it ever. His limbs felt like they were made of lead and his brain could barely remember how to get his body from his and Eddie’s bedroom to the nursery door.

Opening the door to his daughter’s room, the corners of his mouth twitch upon spotting his little 3-month-old waving her tiny balled fists through the air, blabbering nonsensically between cries.

Eddie had been the one to pick out everything for Cassidy’s nursery while Richie had been charged with putting it all together. They’d decided on painting the room a soft, baby blue that coincidentally nearly matched the exact shade of Cassie’s eyes. They had prepped the room before receiving the call from the adoption agency so it hadn’t been till a month ago that Eddie had finally gotten Bill over to paint ‘Cassidy’ in swirling gold over her crib.

Going over to her crib, Richie looked down at her with a mock stern look, “Cassidy Beverly Anne, it is way past your curfew!”

The baby stared up at him, lip wobbling before letting out another mournful squawk, her dark, fine hair sticking up in four different directions. She did not look all that amused.

“Okay, okay, Sweet Child O’ Mine,” Richie plucked her up in one fluid motion, cradling her in his arms as she shoved her fist in her mouth and continued to cry around it, “What’s wrong, huh? You have a nightmare? Papa has those, too.”

Whimpering, she kicked out one of her little legs and kept up her crying, grasping his t-shirt as tightly as she could with the hand not stuck in her mouth. Richie sighed and ran his hand lightly across the top of her head, pausing to rest his palm against her forehead.

“Ah, Cassie, please be messing with me,” Richie groaned and leaned down to brush his lips across her forehead. She was much warmer than usual, which was saying something since the baby was usually a fucking furnace, as was. She was even hotter then she got working herself up into a hysteria. Richie closed his eyes and threw his head back, “Fuuuuudge.”

No swearing.

It was the rule… Besides, he knew Eddie was probably listening in on the baby monitor.

“Okay, baby girl,” Richie muttered rocking her in his arms, going back toward the door, “Let’s go have Dada take a look at you, huh?”

She continued to fuss as Richie returned to his and Eddie’s bedroom and sat on Eddie’s side of the bed. His boyfriend rolled over and peered up at him, their squirming, crying baby cradled in his arms.

“Richie, you know she can’t sleep in here with us—“ Eddie started, rubbing at his eyes but Richie sighed and spoke over him.

“I think she has a fever,” He said and Eddie fell silent, continuing to peer up at him sleepily for another moment before sitting up in bed as Richie continued, “Can you take her? I’ll get the thermometer.”  

Eddie nodded, reaching out and taking Cassie. The baby cried louder being jostled around but Eddie hushed her softly, bouncing her in his arms as Richie left the room, and managed to somewhat soothe her. He felt himself go into autopilot, his training as a registered pediatric nurse taking over as he reached out and felt his daughter’s forehead, set his hand briefly on her chest to feel her breathing and took her pulse using her little ankle and his wristwatch.

He had to admit, she was warm. How warm, he couldn’t be sure of yet but at least her pulse was pretty much average for a crying, distressed infant. Without a stethoscope, he couldn’t tell if she was congested though she didn’t feel rattle-y.

Looking up, he saw Richie coming back in the room with the thermometer the two of them usually used and shook his head.

“Rich, you have to get the one in Cassie’s room. Second drawer in the changing table, it goes in her ear,” Eddie instructed, “And grab my bag for work in the living room, I want to check her respiration.”

Richie gave him a confused look but spun around and did as Eddie had instructed, coming back a minute later with the baby thermometer and Eddie’s stuff.

Eddie handed Cassie, crying and whining, back to his boyfriend and stood up, going through his bag. He glanced over his shoulder at Richie, who was sitting on the bed again and sighed, using an alcohol wipe to wipe off his stethoscope before putting it over the back of his neck.

“You’re not going to like this,” Eddie warned, turning the thermometer on, “We gotta keep her still and she’s not going to be happy about it.”

Richie looked at the thermometer and then back at Eddie, “It doesn’t hurt, right? Because Cassie’s too tough to get whine-y over a little thing in her ear.”

Eddie gave him a look before rolling his eyes and giving his attention back to their daughter in Richie’s arms. Gently cupping the infant’s head in one hand, Eddie held the thermometer up to her ear. Cassie tried to turn her head away and cried even louder and harder when her Daddy wouldn’t let her.

Richie grimaced and glanced away, running a finger up and down the soft skin of her arm.

After a second, Eddie took the thermometer back and looked at it with a sigh, “100.1. I mean, it’s low grade.”

“It’s still a fucking fever!” Richie argued as Eddie set the thermometer aside and got his stethoscope.

“Don’t swear,” He gave his boyfriend a look before putting the buds in his ears and gently resting the head of the stethoscope on Cassie’s chest. Listening carefully for a moment, trying to concentrate on the sounds that weren’t her crying, he stood back and shrugged, taking the earbuds out, “She sounds normal.”

“But she has a fever,” Richie argued again and Eddie ran his hand through his hair.

“Yeah, Trashmouth, babies get sick sometimes,” Eddie sighed and pinched his nose, watching Cassie blubber around her slobbery fist. He cocked his head to the side and hummed, “I wonder if she’s teething...”

“What the fu— fudge is teething?” Richie asked, following Eddie’s gaze to their daughter.

Eddie rolled his eyes, “What it sounds like, dummy. When a baby’s teeth start coming in. She’s a little young still but it can happen at three months... I could check her mouth but it’d just make her madder. Let me grab something.”

He left and Richie adjusted Cassie so she was laying with her back against his thighs. He ran his hand over the top of her head again and sighed, “Cassie Anne, can’t you hold off on getting sick for the first time for a few more months? I’m still breaking in this whole dad thing and taking care of a sick baby is out of my wheelhouse, Sweet Child O’ Mine...”

She whined, giving a little cough before starting up again with her crying. Sighing, Richie shook his head and tried to bounce her to soothe her. A beat later, Eddie was back, a wet washcloth in hand.

“I got it right out of the dryer so it’s clean,” He muttered, mostly to himself because Richie didn’t much care, and took Cassie gently from his boyfriend. He offered to cool washcloth to the baby, who squirmed and turned her head away a time or two before clutching it and sticking it in her mouth as well.

In a few seconds, she fell completely quiet for the first time since she’s woken herself up. Eddie sighed and nodded, looking over at his boyfriend, “Teething.”

“Well, cold washrag is a pretty easy fix,” Richie chuckled, watching the two of them.

Eddie shook his head, “It’s also pretty short lived. She’ll start up again when it’s not cold anymore. We need to get her a toy for teething... But you can go put her back down, she might sleep for a bit.”

Richie sighed, peering down at his daughter. She watched him with droopy eyes, looking as if she were on the very edge of sleep but refusing to let herself drop off. She was a stubborn little thing, Richie thought with a twitch of his lips. He blamed Eddie; that fucker was so stubborn it drove him up the damn wall. It made sense, too; Eddie had Cassie more than Richie ever did... it was just the way that their work schedules played out.

Eddie worked from 5 in the morning to 5 in the evening on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday at Derry Home hospital but had the rest of his time to himself, which he usually spent at home with Cassidy. Richie, on the other hand, only really got to see his daughter from the time she woke up in the morning — usually around 9 or 10 — till he dropped her off at daycare to go to work at 2. On a good day he got 5 hours with her and he had weekends but that was it.

And God dammit, did he miss her when he was away, missed both of them.

Rocking Cassie back and forth, Richie managed to get her to close her eyes once again and sat back against the headboard of the bed. Setting a hand on his daughter’s tummy, Richie felt each breath she took as they evened out and slowed.

“Rich,”

He lifted his eyes back up to his boyfriend, who was watching him with a tired expression, “Hmm?”

Eddie stepped closer, going to his family and lightly brushing a soft tuft of dark hair from Cassie’s forehead, “Go lay her back down.”

Richie shook his head before looking down at his daughter again, “I don’t wanna. She doesn’t feel good, Eds.”

“She’s teething, Richie.” His boyfriend whispered and rolled his eyes, still playing with their baby girl’s hair, “All babies teeth and they’re always fine.”

Richie sighed, “I don’t want to fucking leave her in there, Eddie. She gets lonely.“

“Don’t swear in front of her,” Eddie reached out and flicked Richie’s ear, “And she does not get lonely, Richie. She’s a baby, she has no object permanence.”

Richie’s eyebrows came together as he looked at the baby, “She’s asleep, Spaghetti Man, ain’t gonna hear me. And what’s that?”

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie hissed half heartedly before reaching down and carefully lifting Cassie from Richie’s arms. The baby whimpered once and threw her arm out defiantly before going still again, sighing in her sleep. Eddie rocked her, heading back across the hallway towards her nursery, “Object permanence? Basically, if she can’t see something, she thinks it’s gone forever. She hasn’t learned that most objects around her are permanent, even if they’re not right in front of her.”

Richie jumped up and followed Eddie as he went to Cassie’s crib and lowered the baby down. She kicked out once again as Eddie draped her favorite blankie — one Beverly had stitched for her — over her. Clutching it, she settled back down, blanket in one hand and wash rag in the other.

“So, when we leave, she thinks we’re fuck — freaking gone forever?” Richie whined, “We can’t leave her in here all alone!”

Eddie sighed, hissing, “What are you going to do, Richie? Sleep in here?”

Richie seemed to be thinking for a moment before marching out of the room.

Eddie rolled his eyes and went to follow him only to nearly run into his boyfriend, carrying two pillows and a comforter. He sighed, angling his hand at his boyfriend and hissing, “Richard Tozier, what the actual fu—“ He stopped himself, “Fudge are you doing?”

“What does it look like, Eds, my love?” Richie whispered back, laying out the blanket on the floor right beside Cassie’s crib. “I’m having a sleepover with my baby girl. If she wakes up, her papa will be right here.”

Eddie stared for a moment before shaking his head, “Whatever. Be an idiot. Sprain your back. See if I care. Night.”

Turning on his heel, Eddie went back to bed.

Laying on the floor beside Cassie’s, Richie reached up and slipped his hands through the bars of her crib. He found her soft, warm hand and gently ran a single fingertip over her tiny knuckles.

His baby. His Cassidy Beverly Anne. Cassie. Sweet Child O’ Mine...

She’s got eyes of the bluest skies

As if they thought of rain

I’d hate to look into those eyes

And see an ounce of pain

Her hair reminds me of a warm, safe place

Where as a child I’d hide

And pray for the thunder

And the rain to quietly pass me by...

Richie was ninety-five percent sure he’d just barely fallen asleep when he felt someone curl up to his side. Peering his eyes open, he smirked, “I thought I was being an idiot.”

Eddie sighed, tucking his head into the crook on Richie’s neck, “You are... but it’s hard to sleep without you. Besides... If Cassie wakes up now we’ll both be here for her.”

“Eds?”

“Hmm?”

“I fucking love you. And I fucking love Cassidy.”

“Don’t swear in front of the baby,” A beat of silence and then, “Me too, Idiot, on both counts.”

“You really shouldn’t call me an idiot in front of the baby, Eds.”

Within a few breathes, they were both asleep, their breathing slowing to the pace of their baby daughter beside them.

[pluviophile-bookworm]

Thoughts/ reaction to AWAE 3x10

So, I mentioned in a post I made around midnight (standard Bulgarian time), three hours before this episode aired, that I wasn’t feeling quite like living and that this episode was one of very few things keeping me alive. Since then, I went through a lot more that showed me life really is worth living, and after a small celebration of my birthday (I’m two decades old, yay not so yay really), it’s finally time to open my last, and, hopefully, best present. 

I’ve been going out of my way to avoid spoilers, which is something I never usually do (bc spoilers can be a lifesaving trigger warning), so I’m diving into this episode 100% unprepared for whatever is to happen. I hope I was right not to spoil it for myself. 

I’m rambling oof  So without further ado, here goes my reaction to AWAE  3x10:

Oh my my, what a start. I never expected this. Even after everything Moira has hit me with, I never expected a cold open to include a crying Winifred. Sure, I didn’t expect her to take it lightly, but, well, it seems just a bit too much to me - coming from her, that is. Other girls, on the other hand... by all means, I am immensely grateful that Ruby got over her crush on Gilbert before this happened. Of course, I am so happy for her and Moody, but even if she hadn’t moved on to somebody else immediately, I’m glad her romantic feelings for Gilbert no longer exist because seeing him get together with Anne, one of her closest friends (they are getting together soon, I know it), would have broken her heart. Was that last sentence too long? I hope not. Ok, moving on. 

So, I understand that Winifred must feel cheated, led on, used and whatnot, and that shows that, for whatever reason, she must really have very strong feelings for Gilbert. I’m not saying she loves him the way Anne does - because no one ever could - but I’m saying that for her to be so affected, there have to be some true and strong feelings. On a semi-related note, though, is the idea of her and Prissy getting together off the table? Because it definitely is still very much there in my head. Just saying.

I cannot believe this, and yet it seems to be true - Gilbert broke off the engagement with Winnie before it happened (good) while still thinking Anne doesn’t love him back (bad, so bad). How do these things happen? He must be very, very sure in his own feelings for her then. I cannot wait for him to find out... but how can he find out? I need answers. I need closure. Now. 

Props to Gilbert for telling Winnie that she is exceptional (true) and deserves to be truly loved (very true). Our boy might not love her, but he cares for her very deeply and it must be awful to watch her cry because of him... I hope they can still be friends. And I really hope Winnie and Anne can be friends one day. 

Did he just promise not to tell anyone he’s not engaged to Winnie for two weeks? Do you realise what this means? If he keeps that promise, it might be too late for him and Anne. And he still doesn’t know that she loves him back, and how can he possibly find out without bringing up the fact that he didn’t propose to Winifred? My, that was some cold open. 

My sweet Ruby... wasn’t it only half a season ago that she was only going to Queens to be close to Gilbert? And now she doesn’t want to go without Moody. I’m happy for her, but she seems to have re-attached very strongly in a very short time. I sure hope she doesn’t get hurt. I mean, Moody wouldn’t hurt her, right?

Anne eyeing Gilbert and Gilbert looking back at her... the room is filled with tension, and yet that between the two of them is of a completely different kind. I want this to be resolved already. 

Diana saying she’ll faint if she turns out to have passed the exams is ironic/ funny on a purely linguistic level. She’s practically saying she’ll pass out if she’s passed the exams, get it? No? Just me?

She got in! People, Diana got into Queens! With zero special preparation. I have no choice but to stan. 

The little smiles Anne and Gilbert exchanged when they found out they tied for first place... it almost looked like they forgot all the tension and were just genuinely happy for each other in that moment... and then there’s the extremely awkward “Congratulations” scene which is just another misunderstanding. 

“Potato light bulbs forever!” Well said, Moody, very well said indeed.

Poor Anne is still so disappointed in Gilbert not giving her any response to her note. Poor unfortunate note never reached him, or else things would be vastly different right about now.

Oh my, oh my, they will be roommates, if you know what I mean. What would I give to see this... unfortunately, there was one spoiler I could not avoid, and it is the very real fact that AWAE has been cancelled. But I really want to  see so many more things. Please, people, we can make it happen! #renewAWAE #AWAES4

Poor Diana. I hope there is a force on Earth that can convince her parents to let her go to Queens.

“It is your future, not theirs.” / “It’s not your future, it’s ours!” Oh the tragic parallel, I can’t even. Poor Diana. 

Ok, Winnie I can take, but Eliza Barry is going on my nerves with her crying. True, Diana did go to the exam by lying about where she was going, and she did one more secret thing that would positively make her mother self-combust (I’m talking about Derry and where is my Derry resolution?), but this is a bit too over the top.

Look at the Cuthberts + honorary family member Jerry picking corn together like a true farming family... how idyllic. Also, Jerry is back! And the looks on his and Matthew’s face when Anne starts talking about corsets is just priceless. I love these two. They need their own spin-off. 

Oh my, Matthew, what are you talking about? Sure, giving Jerry his own room at Green Gables is super heartwarming and, sure, the much missed smile was back on Jerry’s face for a couple seconds, but this is just such a callback to Anne’s original problem with Jerry when both of them first arrived at Green Gables - she feels like Matthew and Marilla are replacing her with him, like they’re getting the boy they originally wanted and she’s out of the family. What a heartbreaking turn of events. 

They’re showing us family after family, and in two out of three so far things have gone bad. I hope this is not the case with the Lacroixes. Hazel just told her son she’s proud of him. It seems like their misunderstandings of the past are water under the bridge and that makes me happy. Just please don’t let this take a turn for the worse.

Hazel being soft with her baby granddaughter is so heartwarming... but I’ve been hurt before and I just hope this scene isn’t giving me a false sense of security. 

Gilbert is alone at Green Gables. What could happen? What did he come for? Oh, I can’t, it’s the pen, you guys! Oh my, he’s writing a note to Anne... oh, the parallels...

“My Anne with an E”... I cannot, I simply cannot with this. I can’t, he’s talking about being engaged to her, calling her his Anne... and he still doesn’t know she loves him back. Boy has finally decided to act on his feelings. Took him some time, that’s for sure. That slate to the head must have totally dimmed his senses in order for him to miss the signs. I wonder what Anne’s excuse is.

I can’t help feeling that Anne has somehow reverted back to her 1x1 self. Getting Matthew a cup of water he didn’t ask for and asking if he needs help with the milkers, and just nervously trying to do any chore just to prove she’s useful... poor Anne. So many years of love and acceptance and found family happiness have been pretty much erased by Matthew’s comment about more or less replacing Anne with Jerry. Why, Matthew? I trusted you.

Their cows’ names are Pride and Prejudice? Doesn’t take much to figure out who gave them those names. But now one of them has been sold to the Andrewses. I just hope they treat her well. My, am I getting worried about a cow I don’t even know now?

Oh Anne, how could you say this? There is no way for any place you’ve been at to go back to the way it was before you. Seriously, Anne has this way of changing the world around her for the better that just can’t not leave a trace in a decent person’s heart. And Matthew Cuthbert sure is one. I know he didn’t mean what he said the way that Anne perceived it. I’m sure there is some explanation.

Oh my, Anne found the note. So far this one is doing better than the first one. And... I spoke too soon. Goodness, Anne, why? You couldn’t just read it, you had to tear it up beyond repair and throw it out the window. Shirbert should be banned for life from writing notes. 

Sure, Anne. Act before you think, think a second after you act. Dammit, smart people can be so stupid!

Anne stinks at puzzles. The way she arranged the words made the note look a totally different size than the original. And she saw it clearly before she ripped the life out of it. 

I just cannot with these two. Gilbert takes Anne’s drunken ramblings about pirates to mean she doesn’t love him. Then Anne rearranges Gilbert’s note, which she destroyed herself, to say he doesn’t love her. Thanks, I hate it.

Poor Diana, indeed. Can’t this episode stop making me suffer? This was supposed to be a nice birthday present. And this is supposed to be the last episode ever? No, guys, we can’t let that happen. I did not sign up for this suffering. 

Just seeing the way Marilla acts around Anne makes it perfectly clear that things have changed dramatically in the last three years, and yet somehow it feels like Anne still doesn’t feel like her place in the Cuthbert family is secure. But I understand her. I fell into a great crisis before going off to college, too. I just hope she gets to feel better soon. Girl has been through so much already. 

What could have made Bash jump up so suddenly and run like this? Oh, I cannot believe it. It’s Elijah. He’s back with John Blythe’s things and it seems he’s repenting. But Bash isn’t having it. Oh my, I knew things would get worse for the Blythe- Lacroixes, too, I was just hoping I’d be wrong. Why is this episode doing this to me?

Right on, Marilla. Talk some sense into Eliza Barry. She’s been needing this for a long, long time. 

“Soar to the highest heights” and “plunge to the deepest depths” - that’s Anne alright. She’s literally had both happen within the same day. Multiple times. She’s a “passionate individual”, after all, if I may use Gilbert’s words. 

This scene with Anne and Miss Stacy is such a beautiful contrast to the way they met. Anne sure wasn’t quite herself that day and I’m glad to see she and Miss Stacy are not just a passionate progressive teacher and a curious, headstrong student - they’re great friends now. 

So that letter Marilla received had to do with Anne’s lineage? I want to know any information about it just as much as Anne does. 

I don’t like it that it’s Matthew who has to be called out on his actions, but I’m glad Marilla is calling him out. Whatever his intentions were, and I’m sure they were nothing but good, what he said took Anne back to square one, only with so much more to lose now. 

This episode has too much crying in it. But now it’s coming from Matthew and it’s breaking my heart. 

Idyllic Blythe-Lacroix family scene in the orchard? Apparently this is not that scene. I see Eljah is still there. And from the way he acted at his mother’s grave, I could tell he truly repents for what he’s done. He just wants to be part of the family. And I want to know how that goes. 

It looks like they accept him in. For now, at least. I hope things can smooth over between them. 

Anne has her hair up... and she’s... is she wearing a corset? Little girl sure has grown up. 

I though Matthew would have that talk with Anne, but it seems like he, too has reverted back to his day 1 personality. What is this? Why are they both throwing their character- and inter-character development out the window like this?

Oh my, look at all the girls, all grown up. What girls, they’re practically women now. All so elegant in their lady dresses and their corsets and their hats. Such a glow-up. Not that they needed a glow-up, but it looks good on them all.

Deaf/ mute representation. I love it. Now more than ever we need a season 4 to expand on the girls’ relationship with Lily. And with curfew, which is “not a suggestion”. But especially Lily. 

The way the girls act in their dorm room just goes to show that even with the lady dresses and the corsets and everything, they’re still teenage girls that just want to have fun. I love these girls. 

I know Jerry doesn’t do all that much in this episode (where is my Derry conclusion?), but I’m just so glad to see that he and his beautiful smile are back. And right now he’s bringing the most important letter of all. And don’t worry, it’s not written by Shirbert, so it’s not getting lost or torn to pieces. 

I cannot with all these Shirbert parallels... at about the same time as Anne, Gilbert gets a life-changing letter, too. He’s going to the University of Toronto. I knew it. 

I just can’t... (gosh, this episode has stripped me of all the ability to can) Delly might have just lost her Uncle Gilby to UofT, but she’s just got her big brother Elijah back.

Josephine Barry... I like where this is going. If we get to also see Cole this time...

Now this is what dreams are made of. He’s there. He’s there and he’s looking as elegant as ever. I missed my boy. I’m still waiting for an interaction between him and my other boy Jerry... and we all know that ain’t happening unless we get them to renew AWAE... we can make it happen. 

I can’t. Once again I’m unable to can, this time because of how amazing Anne looks in this dress. I’ve been waiting so long to see it, and it’s more gorgeous than I could have imagined. Anne is, too. Matthew’s face says it all. Green dress who? No, I mean, it’s still absolutely stunning, but this one is way more Anne in my opinion. 

Why the suspense, Anne? Read it out loud, for goodness’ sake? The lack of background music and the ticking of the clock just make it so much more suspenseful.

See? This is why I missed Cole so much - well, not just this, but this too. His beautiful friendship with Anne, that is. Can you believe he hasn’t seen her in so long and yet he still knows her better than anybody else in that room, and, as Anne said herself, they’re all her family. I need more of their friendship. 

There we have it, guys, gals and nb pals, Matthew’s opening up. It was about time. I’m so proud of my man.

“My Anne”, along with the several times Anne was referred to as their daughter, or Marilla and Matthew as her mother and father... beautiful. I’m literally tearing up. 

So Mrs. Thomas does have information about the Shirleys after all. And while Anne is off exploring the town, her parents are looking for... her birth parents. And they’ve sort of found them in this book, The Language of Flowers. Turns out Bertha was a teacher. Like mother, like daughter. Even if she didn’t have the chance to raise her. 

I’m getting chills. Anne and Winifred... oh my, this is bad. This is a bigger misunderstanding than there has ever been between Shirbert, if that’s even possible at this point. Seriously, for two exceptionally smart girls, these two are dumb. 

Oh dear, Diana in her lady dress and hat looks so much like her mother, it’s scary. Well, that’s if her mother was an educated, brave woman ready to take risks for what she believes in. But in terms of looks... it’s almost creepy. 

Even dressed as a beautiful young lady, Anne is just as clumsy as ever. I love her just like that.

The look on Diana’s face scares me. Poor Gilbert here, a victim of the circumstances, doesn’t know what hit him... and it’s not a slate this time. This is not a school crush anymore. We’re talking courting and marriage here. And Diana, best of friends in the world, has had it with this series of unfortunate misunderstandings between Shirbert. 

Did he just jump off of a moving train or something? That’s right - run, Gil, run like the wind! We’re getting closure on this whole thing after all. I hope. 

Oh my, they’re going to- the time for words has run out. They were never any good when it came to these two. They’re going to kiss!

Wow, that was some kiss! It was like Gil here has been holding this in ever since that slate broke over his head. And I’m pretty sure that’s how it really was. Intense, wasn’t it? And then Anne pinching herself to make sure she’s not imagining this - are you telling me she’s been having fantasies of kissing Gilbert?

Wait, he’s still asking if she loves him back after they actually kissed? I don’t mean to sound like a broken record, but - smart people are really dumb. 

A second kiss? Initiated by Anne? Now that’s the stuff of fanfiction. I may have to pinch myself too to make sure I really saw what I saw. 

“Pen pals?” Pen pals, huh? I mean, as long as they don’t intend to share one single pen and as long as they don’t hand-deliver the letters in the absence of each other... this could actually work.

Diana! And was that Mr. Barry coming to his senses after all?

Spare your steps, Gil! The guy really got on the carriage then right back off just to kiss Anne a third and fourth time - not counting the knuckle kiss, which, by the way, totally counts. 

The Cuthberts (yes, including a certain Shirley-Cuthbert) are going to make me cry... 

Funny that “I look like my mother” is the first thing she wanted to tell Gilbert in her first letter... but, I mean, that’s something incredibly important to her and they’ll be talking about all kinds of stuff, so why not? It’s actually beautiful. 

Sure, I want a fourth season with all my heart and soul, but even if we never get one (which we will), this was the most beautiful finale I could have imagined. 

I mean, there are certainly three things I wanted to see resolved by this finale: (1) Derry’s storyline - they sort of acted like it never happened and I’m not ok with that; (2) Ka’kwet’s family’s storyline - not even mentioned, like they were never there. This is the same kind of erasure that the White Man’s Burden prison school was doing. Not a fan. I demand closure on Ka’kwet’s story. (3) Closure on the Andrews family and Josie - this storyline can't have been introduced just for the sake of talking about abuse, consent and freedom of speech.

To sum up, in this rollercoaster of a season finale we saw: lots of crying - unexpected but justified from Winifred, way over the top by Eliza Barry, devastating by Diana, and heartbreaking by Matthew - bonus: a breakdown by Anne after a disappointing letter, then a tear of joy upon learning about her family; lots of the usual Shirbert stuff - tension, longing looks and misunderstandings; the misadventures of another love note; an overwhelming amount of parallels with varying degrees of subtlety; Diana gets into Queens, Gilbert gets into U of T; Elijah is accepted into the Blythe-Lacroix (mostly just Lacroix now) family; Anne and Matthew erase three years’ worth of character development - then get back on track, luckily; Diana is an absolute queen; a pair of cows named Pride and Prejudice - not actually shown on screen; all the girls looking classy in lady dresses and corsets; Marilla helps get Diana to Queens; Jerry + his smile and Cole are back for the finale; Shirbert share not one or two, but five kisses (counting the knuckle one); pen pals Shirbert.