#this week is cursed probably
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So the city cut down the bigass tree in front of my second floor patio and now half the neighborhood can see me sprawled pantless on the couch #thestruggle
RIP PRIVACY TREE (would show the after but now you can tell where I live, ahahaha fml)
#this week is cursed probably#personal#i lived in a treehouse gdi#also living in fear for the tree still shading part of the patio + my bedroom
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Just Loop.
#fanart#my art#artists on tumblr#isat#isat spoilers#isat loop#human loop#crossover#ddlc monika#implied!!!#ddlc#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#two hats spoilers#isat ss discord casually gives me cursed ideas this week#and I am more that happy to sketch#because yep that one is on me#I love this more than I should probably#basically a study of both the actual isat style AND colors#I wanted to draw Loop's eyes for a long time#isat fanart#isat au#basically!
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OLD MAN YAOI !!!!
(I wanted to make the last two slides look more. Mopey but the colors ended up looking gross so depressed Prismo gets a big ol coat of pink <3)
#POBart#god I love them#OLD MAN YAOI#Yknow how I said I was running out of ideas?#well apparently the shipping brain kicked into high gear because GOOD GLOB#also get cursed with front-facing prismo LOSERRR#art#digital art#ibis paint x#adventure time#fionna and cake#f&c#at:fc#fionna and cake spoilers#f&c spoilers#I’m probably gonna stop spoilering these after this week ends#prismo#prismo the wishmaster#prismo adventure time#scarab#the scarab#scarab adventure time#prismo x scarab#prohibitedwish
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task: answer the following question. do you believe in curses? respond as completely with relevant information as possible.
Grian: Well, that's a lie. This isn't a task. I know it's not a task, I set the things up! Not sure why we're getting a question as pointless as this one, but sure, mysterious scroll, I'll answer. There's no such thing as curses, unless you're Timmy, in which case it's funny, yeah? Besides, I didn't actually kill Etho. Even if that did count, self-fulfilling prophecies aren't the same thing as curses, and I know which one I fall under.
Joel: Do I believe in bloody curses what kind of question is that? Do I really get hearts just for answering this? This feels like a prank or something... well, whatever. There are no such thing as curses, except the Boogeyman curse, which I sort of had today, but it wasn't actually the same at all. A lot of the bloodlust, sure, but a lot more... Etho had to be the one to do it, huh? And it's not the same. Not comforting. That's a stupid thing to say actually. Take it out of wherever you're putting this. Cut it out of the recording. Comforting. Please. As if it were ever... Yeah, I'm done actually. Don't have a good answer. Go away.
Scott: What, other than Jimmy? Bless that man, he may not have died first, but he sure tried his best. Sure, I'll believe Jimmy is cursed. I mean, mostly he's just kind of stupid. Lovingly so. I mean, despite him being stupid, I put up with him, right? That seems like a complete answer to this question. Jimmy's an omen but we put up with him anyway. That's all.
Mumbo: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.
Pearl: Oh, I mean, I'm probably cursed. That's what everyone liked to say at one point. I think... I mean, I think this time I have good friends, which is nice. They don't think I'm cursed. And it's not like I--I mean, it's surprisingly fun, acting cursed! And I am just acting. Acting scary, blowing up dance floors, all of that. And I don't really have to this time, so... Maybe I'm not cursed? And since it's acting, it's not real? This is a weird question.
Etho: Oh, man, that's a question. Um, do I have to answer? Because I feel like if I say no, that's really just asking for it, but if I say yes, I have to explain myself. Uh, I think I'm abstaining, unless the zombie thing from earlier counts. That was scary and I hated it. Curses are scary and I hate them in general, but apparently I'm good at them, if you ask everyone else. Um, it's not the only thing I find scary that apparently I'm good at.
Scar: Why, of course I believe in curses! Look at poor, poor... Timbert? Timmy? Jim? Gosh, sorry, I'm very tired right now. That's more proof of curses, by the way! That I'm tired. I've been tired straight since the desert, let me tell you what. And that, my friends, is a curse like no other. What a terrible beast, loneliness is. Wish me luck breaking it, because it's not happening this season!
Cleo: Oh, you mean the thing people like to blame instead of their own actions? Nah. My soulbond was kind of a curse, I guess, but even that's at least half just... bad people. Bad relationships. Good ones, too. We're all just doing what you can, you know? No script, no curses, no characters, just... Oh, I hope everything turns out tomorrow. Sorry, that's unrelated. It's just nicer to hope than to preemptively blame things on curses that don't exist.
Impulse: Well, I mean, I didn't until you just asked me that, but now I feel like I should. Wouldn't that be nice? Being cursed instead of just sort of unlovable? Sorry, no, that's mean to Gem. I shouldn't say that about Gem, she's been good this season. Super, super cursed, mind you, in the like, game mechanic sense? But she's been good, no backstabbing or inability to get love involved. Um, and I guess that's not fair to Bdubs, kind of, except it also totally is and I haven't forgiven him. So I guess if they ask I said I believed in curses, and that's why my life keeps circling clocks? Don't put any of that other stuff down, I'm trying to work on that.
Lizzie: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.
Gem: I was just cursed for a task, but that probably isn't what you're asking about, right? I'm new, so I don't know! A task is a concrete thing to believe in, like bloodshed or victory or fun and games. You don't have to believe in those to know they're real, either! They just are, whether you like it or not. I understand that much!
Tango: Gah, don't talk to me about... Deep breaths. Look, I don't care if it's a curse, or if it's just me being really bad, or what, I'm not going out pointlessly this time. Jimmy managed not to die first, I can manage to not go out to a stray arrow or my own bomb or a misstep this time, right? Is that so much to ask?
Skizz: Huh? Curses? I mean, I don't think so, and to be totally honest I think it's kind of mean the way people sometimes rag on people about them. Everyone's got so many good things about them! Why do people like to focus on the unfortunate luck, huh?
Bdubs: Hah! Curses! Let me tell you about curses. When I see curses, I eat them for breakfast. I don't got curses, I've got better things to do! I've got my buddies with the Mounders, and I've got-well, I'd say keeping Etho safe, but he's being weird at me again this season. Not that it matters. It never matters. Etho and I, we're... The point is, that doesn't matter anyway, because I have the Mounders, and they're the ones who matter here. And because I'm a strong, independent Bdubs, who doesn't need anyone but my bow and my perfect, flawless fighting prowess! Sorry, what was the question? I've been thinking so much lately that it's just sort of made everything else pop out of my head, so it's hard to keep track. I'm sure I answered it flawlessly, though.
Martyn: Of course there are curses. That's half the fun for you lot, isn't it? Putting your little curses on us and watching us rail against them. Bet you think it's real cute to ask us what we think of the things, too. "Oh, what do you think of curses," like we have any control over them. Please. If I had any control over curses, Jimmy--or, well, no, I guess that one was technically broken, wasn't it? Sure doesn't feel like it. Point is, curses are bad, and they're definitely real, and I hate you for them, got it?
BigB: Look, man, if you're trying to get me to write my character out for you, just say so! I won't tell anyone. We can come up with a hole thing about holes and red tasks and the Backrooms together! It'll be fun! After all, you probably don't know what kind of curse to say I have, right? Haha, just kidding. I have no idea what I'm talking about. Luckily, neither does anyone else, so I think that evens out between the lot of us.
Jimmy: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.
#secret life smp#a bee fic#not tagging everyone in this because it's. everyone#anyway i have wanted to write this for like TWO WEEKS so i figured that now's as good a time as any#anyway this is probably as thinly disguised as my character meta gets#we talk a LOT in this fandom about curses#we talk about whether we like them as fanon we talk about whether we dislike them we talk about who has them we talk about why#we talk about if they're here or broken or anything else#so i'd like to think the characters have an opinion on curses too after how much talking about them we've been doing#...at least the characters around to tell us their opinions do.#(anyway for all I claim this is thinly disguised character meta it IS actually of note that this isn’t actually about if they believe)#(but instead about how they’d respond if they were asked)#(hence why half of them don’t even answer the right question)#(this is why I’m not good at character meta btw)
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The price of love is loss, but still we pay. We love anyway.
Next to Normal | Donmar Warehouse | September, 2023 Moments lost in the transfer to the West End
📹: @callmelasagna
#hey it's been a week since closing and i miss this show#so time to start making gifs to cope#in case it isn't clear (and it probably isn't if you haven't seen a wider shot boot of this run)#the last gif is diana singing the “some ghosts are never gone” line to gabe. one of my favorites that was lost so i had to include it#obviously there's plenty more moments but these are the ones that made okay gifs from this boot#also curse that man who's head is blocking the wish i were here moment. but fuck it i want that moment in#next to normal#next to normal uk#caissie levy#jamie parker#jack wolfe#eleanor worthington cox#jack ofrecio
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you hate solas x mythal because you think solas shouldn't have had any previous relationships in thousands of years of his life
i hate solas x mythal because it's yet another exhausting love triangle where the slaver and abuser gets a funky reincarnation and the victim gets blamed for absolutely everything and put into magical prison forever..........
we are not the same
#and it's not even 100% clear what they even WERE#the further we go the less and less i respect week's “~it's up to your interpretations~”#solas#mythal#solavellan#dragon age#dav#grow a fucking spine dude#you WILL inevitably piss off at least one part of the fandom by making mythal either solas's lover or mother figure (jesus this is cursed)#as it probably would've been when confirming him either have sex with lavellan or being ace#but now you're just pissing everyone off by inability to commit to your own shit#actually DA has one of the most obnoxious love triangles I've ever seen lol#Also (imho) it would've been much more interesting to make Elgar'nan and Mythal actually y'know#LOVE each other despite still being toxic and unhealthy and maybe even codependent#like not every meaningful relationship in people's lives just HAS to be romantic weeks#Mansplain-Manipulate-Malewife Elgar'nan 🤝 Gaslight-Gatekeep-Girlboss Mythal#I have spoken#bioware critical#i guess
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Thought i would be done but...yeah didn't happen. Part one here.
Living with Max is easy.
He doesn't whine when Daniel is taking care of his leg, he doesn't mind sleeping on some blankets on the floor, next to the fireplace, he offers to help around, and best of all he doesn't ask questions.
Well, not exactly. He asks so many questions. Once he gets over his initial bout of shyness and quiet, he asks questions about Daniel's vegetables, about his horse, about the woods, about the traps, about the animals. He offers his own opinions too, telling Daniel he's growing peas in too much shade and that he's cooking his meat for too long. And, much to Daniel's annoyance, he is often right too.
But he doesn't ask questions about Daniel. He doesn't know if it is because Max doesn't care or because he doesn't want to be asked questions back, but he appreciates being spared the trouble of telling him to mind his own business.
They also work surprisingly well together. Max is older than he initially seemed, dirt, hunger and exhaustion making him look younger, and he seems to know a little bit of everything. Even if he doesn't ask, Daniel is a little curious about what path in life brought him to have such a wide mix of knowledge. He seems to know how to move around the woods without scaring the prey, how to skin and cook animals, how to take care of the vegetables (better than Daniel), how to keep himself and the house clean.
It's nice to have a second pair of hands around, even if the pair of hands should sit down more often to let their leg heal. Not that Max ever listened to that.
And he's funny. Daniel hadn't realised how much he missed just sitting around the table after dinner, talking and laughing with someone else. How good it was to wake up and find the fire already stoked and the water pitch already filled. To have someone to say good morning to who would say it back.
Daniel hadn't been thinking of himself as lonely before, he was content with his choice of life, but he can admit that he likes this. He is glad Max decided to stay and he's glad Max seems to be having a good time too, at least from what Daniel could tell.
This is why, when about three weeks after Max's arrival he wakes up in the middle of the night to the sounds of him moving around the house, his first thought isn't Max is leaving, but something is wrong.
"Are you okay?" he asks, voice scratchy with sleep and way too loud in the quiet of the night.
He watches Max flinch, dropping something, before turning around to face Daniel.
"Go back to sleep," he whispers, too shaky to be a good order. There's something different in his voice, and it only takes Daniel's tired brain a few moments to realise that he had heard those notes before, in the woods about three weeks ago. Fear.
Daniel sits up, eyes finally adjusting to the silver darkness of the room, moonlight streaming through the open windows.
"What's wrong?" he asks again, voice lower, matching Max's whisper.
He listens to the sounds coming from outside, thinking that maybe the men Max was running from have come back, but he can't hear anything unusual in the late summer night.
Max is grabbing what he dropped on the floor, stuffing it into a bag that he must have taken from Daniel's things, but the moment, Daniel doesn't even care about the fact that he's very obviously stealing from him.
"Max, what is happening?" He's getting frustrated now, hates not knowing what is going on, worry and irritation growing together.
He stands up, taking a couple of steps towards Max, wanting to see him better, but he stops when Max flinches back.
"I need to leave," he finally says, voice raspy. It's not an explanation, and Daniel suddenly regrets never asking any questions.
"Why? Where?"
He doesn't want Max to leave. The knowledge of that settles like armor on his chest, safe but heavy. Living with Max isn't just easy, it's good. He doesn't want to go back to an empty house, not after the past weeks have been so nice.
"I...I need..." Max shudders, as if in pain, and Daniel's legs ache with the need of walking closer.
"Did something happen?" Did I do something wrong?
Max shakes his head, jerky and sharp. When he exhales, Daniel can hear him bite back a whine.
He doesn't want to scare Max, but he is confused, and he is worried, and he is not going to let him go without an explanation.
He steps between Max and the door.
"You owe me an explanation," he says, hating the way it makes Max stiffen, unwilling to take it back anyway.
"I don't owe you..." Max snaps, before interrupting himself with half a growl. "You haven't told me anything either!"
"That's different. I'm not running away in the middle of the night."
Max takes a step forward, back tense, and Daniel instinctively braces himself, eyes flying towards the table, where his knife always is, but Max doesn't attack him.
He shivers again, hands clenching around the bag and then letting it fall on the ground with a thump, shoulders slumping as all the fight seems to leave him.
"Please, Daniel, I need to leave. It's...it's not safe."
Max looks up, finally meeting Daniel's eyes, and he's suddenly reminded of what the man had said, so many days ago.
He's dangerous. Cursed.
Max's eyes look weird, blue brighter than ever, almost glowing in the moonlight. His face is twisted in pain and there's the glimmer of sweat gathering at his hairline. None of that would worry Daniel, but there's something...different in him. Something other.
Cursed.
The room seems too bright now. The moon is almost full tonight.
Cursed.
Max had said he hadn't killed anyone, but if this is what Daniel is thinking of...
Max closes his eyes, whole body shivering again, his edges almost blurring with it. Or maybe it's not just a trick of the light. Daniel doesn't know what to think anymore.
He doesn't want Max to go. He doesn't want this to happen.
He steps away from the door.
For a moment, they both stand still, looking at each other.
For a moment, Daniel hopes he'll wake up and it will be morning, and Max will be coming in with the last tomatoes from the garden.
Then Max whines, something low and pained, something animal, and bolts.
Daniel doesn't stop him.
He watches as his shadow changes even before he's fully reached the trees.
Then he sits on the doorstep and waits for the sunrise.
#maxiel#my writing#i never did come up with a tag for this uh#cursed max au#good enough but i accept any and all suggestions for a name for this au because i dont like that#ignore any typos im sad and hungry and that should justify everything#part three will come...probably...#like i know what happens in it but writing it is different#i might write it later i might write it in a week i might never write it who knows not me#also im glad people seemed to like this but so many people said they couldn't wait to see what would happen#and now i am stressed the fuck out about letting everyone down sjdgbdjfb#also if you think you know what is happening no you don't :)
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YANG JEONGIN for @foxinys
#jeongin#yang jeongin#i.n#stray kids#skz#createskz#*gifs#*m#flashing tw#LATE....#im cursing everyone esp my isp because of how long my internet was out this morning#and i thought i loaded a reminder into my calendar a WEEK in adv but apparently nawt !!!! so thats me :sob:#ok ok i hope yew like this#i just picked blue bc i feel like i can colour blues well and I FELT LIKE ITS TOO OBV IF I ASK UR FAV COLOUR#but i see now per mary's set its probably PURPLE HELP FAONIWFOAWI#anyway its ok <3#hope u like this <3#my psd has drastically changed since i left tumblr so idk do with that what we will#anyway i love giffing him and im so happy u bias someone i bias bc OIFNOWAIF it makes this so much easier#this took like 2 hrs LOL#n e way sorry for it being late and i hope u like.. happ brith
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the great thing about falling really deep into a new media niche is developing opinions on many new things. the terrible thing about falling really deep into a new media niche is developing opinions on many new things
#fjdkfdjkfd.#anyway. last week a trailer came out for something only called kidnap. which is hilarious because that's a blocked tumblr tag#it's a romance (with the kidnapper. who is secretly only doing it to pay a medical bill). i don't think it sounds or looks very good#& considering who is airing this and their history with Edgy Content the keyword here will probably be Bland. or maybe Toothless#but unfortunately...... tragically...... one of the leads is an actor i'll take in literally anything.#so i've spent my week periodically being attacked by this insignificant bit of knowledge and experiencing shrimp emotions#literally just. going about my day. thinking 'kidnap'. going OOF. then remembering i'm in the middle of brushing my teeth#also. i found out the original writer of bad romance & together with me is ALSO the writer of not me. and it's things like this#that would take like. twenty layers of explanation of these properties in general and also my takes on them specifically#and how it contrasts or aligns with their general perception. to even come CLOSE to explaining the mental hit i took from that#i need a corkboard and some red thread. and then probably three more corkboards#for day 1 that is. i think i have a week's worth of loosely connected spontaneous deep dive video essays i could do off the top of my head#ah well. the curse of having interests#*
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Obligatory 'I'm literally a biology student this is just things I've picked up from making various coats and other textile stuff' disclaimer, but looking at the various in game coat designs:
#I'm truly entranced by this coat like some sort of cursed amulet. Worlds most stupid 1 week long (hopefully only that...) special interest#pathologic#text is too small you need to click on the image to see it probably :|#daniil dankovsky coat#also my image editing software doesn't have spellcheck so if you see a typo no you didn't
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WE'RE GETTING EVICTED FROM OUR APARTMENT.
#ok yeah not the best news to suddenly reappear on after almost a month of radio silence#but a shit ton has been happening lately its fucking wild#i had to call the ambulance for my mom :[ DW she's ok !!! just some stomach problems#i went to the club the like last last week ish ?? it was.. okay i wish my friends werent super self concious#abt dancing bc damn it was kinda boring.... almost just stood there for 5 ish hours#got plastered the other day at a friends house too#and we stayed up and watched the whole entire cars franchise and this is probably my biggest hear me out yet...#lightning mcqueen.#LIKE NOT THE FUCKING CAR OK LIKE IF HE WERE A REAL GUY HE WOULD B HOT#......yes its owen wilsons voice yeah ok i get it yeah. shut. shut it. SHUT UP.#anyway cars 1 is a classic a masterpiece muah muah cars 2 is abysmal and cars 3 is pretty good#ALSO I MISSED LESBIAN VISIBILITY WEEK I AM DEVASTATED WHAT DO I DO I FAILED YOU LESBIANS IM SO SORRY........#the karmic debt from me missing it will curse me somehow..........#anyway yeah we r getting evicted i think idk so were apartment hunting and its so difficult everything is so expensive :']]]]#landlords r actually the spawn of satan#thats it for the update ill doodle smthn maybe i dunno zzzz#frambling...?
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loki turns into a flock of crows and everyone assumes this is normal loki business but actually he's been vampire cursed for a month now and no one has Noticed
#i love the idea of loki doing a bunch of unrelated side quests and it just passes everyone by they don't even notice#thor is like uhhh yeah loki's in the library he's been there a week now and loki is actually on alfheim running from a giant crocodilo#'was he bleeding just then when he passed?' 'library is a wild place' 'looked like fang marks??' 'i don't know what books he is reading'#loki gets vampire cursed and everyone is like sure it's weird that he's biting people but it's probably a loki thing#those mages do strange things all the time ya know? we don't want to discourage the boy#no one is going to notice anything weird unless loki is in short sleeves or something because THAT would be concerning#sharp teeth and eyes glowing in the dark? sudden desire to drink blood and turn into bats? eh. typical seidrmadr behaviour. (probably)
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What do you think Odile does for a living? She feels teacher like to me. What do you think she would do post canon?
HMMMM THIS IS GOOD QUESTION…
ive seen a lot of people hc her as a teacher / professor so i!! think that suits her pretty well. specifically as someone who studies + specializes in different types of craft (that would be why shes so proficient in multiple craft spells. also how she was able to figure out the loops stuff, AND to find something that could prevent siffrin from looping back).
post canon i am not sure… i am always torn between how the party would handle things post canon. obviously they would keep travelling for a bit, odile alongside her family without the stress of. constant sadness encounters + a king to kill lol. i think maybe she would get to take her time, reeaally get to know vauguardian culture when not within. a crisis. as was her original intention.
eventually. EVENTUALLY. when the family settles down somewhere (i am a “they all get a big house together” believer lol) she would get back into craft stuff. maybe go back into teaching too—surely people would be eager to hire a saviour. especially though i think it would be neat of her to try looking into wish craft etc, as a long forgotten form of craft. to satisfy her own curiosity, for siffrins sake, or just as a way of preserving the countries culture in whatever ways possible.
#asks#ive never gotten to talk about this before#and its a little unrelated to the odile thoughts so im putting it in the tags#but. surely surely. there must be some group out there dedicated to looking into this. suddenly lost island#no one remembers the country ofc. i bet its hard to even think about. probably difficult to dedicate an entire project to#but you also have to imagine. the day the island disappeared. the effect without anyone realizing why#people from the island. vacationers or visiting family etc. going through some sudden spell of amnesia all at once#and their loved ones + family being equally confused#also the fact that? given bambouches (probable) proximity to the island. that many of these cases wouldve popped up there#what did people think was going on. at the time. did they assume it was a disease?? a curse?#and then forget about the entire ordeal a week later#anyway point is. someone mustve found that suspicious. theres gotta be at least one person#which to me means i find it very likely there could be research gone into it. esp esp since the party members knew about. Some island that#isnt there#anyway anyways im rambling way too much#i think odile should look into wish craft. i think siffrin would appreciate it#if not because. it was a piece of him that was Important#but also to impart the actual Dangers of it to. others#am i making sense i dont know#isat spoilers#anyways oops thats not about odile anymore#lol
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when ur circle small but y’all cursed 😂🤞
#I did this. hm. a few weeks ago maybe a month. and it’s probably one of my favourite pieces#I really like the curse of that wasn’t obvious#artists on tumblr#myart#the curse#the curse show#the curse tv#showtime#a24#Benny safdie#dougie schecter#Asher Siegel#Whitney siegel#Emma stone#Nathan fielder#digital art#true grit texture supply#clip studio paint#digital artist#fanart#art
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lords gon hafta drag me outa the kitchen cause im cOOKIN AGIN
#wip#ramsuse#shoulb be done friday cause my ass goin into the wilderness tomorrow#its the 18th and i still havent even drawn 1 goretober what is thissss#naw ill probably draw some next week maybe just 2 or 3 cause my ass is just to occupied by Everything#hopefully next year ill have some damn ass time and management bc im so SICK of having to scimp out on goretober#i wanna go back to doing like 17 or 20 of them but god damn this cursed ass adult life curse it all to hell#ANYWAY 👁👁 coming soon
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Heeello, hru?
i want a tsukishima kei × fem!reader, NO TIME SKIP, i want his reaction on the reader hugging him suddenly without saying anything and the reader doesn't pull away from the hug (aka gives him a long hug)
(Reader is clingy and doesn’t want to vent, but at the end she let it all out)
Genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, crying
Omg hi anon❗❗❗ I'm doing fine when I got this, but now I'm like a deflated grammar balloon 😭😭😭
SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO FINISH YOUR REQUEST I SWEAR I WAS THINKING ABT IT THE WHOLE TIME AFTER I GOT IT, I just didn't get the motivation at that time so I waited for inspiration to strike. But then inspiration hit me too hard and this ended up going waaaay off track ⚰️ PLUS I wrote the middle part during a campus tour and boy am I glad to have friends who are willing to be my beta readers bc past Yuu was NOT having a good time there 🥹. So sorry again in advance if this isn't exactly what you were expecting 🙏
Btw, your all caps red NO TIMESKIP is kinda funny to me bc it's like telling me to REMEMBER THAT THIS IS A PRE TIMESKIP THING NOT POST since I'm someone who mainly writes for post timeskip 💀 ntm how you probably had your own timeskip waiting for this thing 🧍♀️but anyways I hope you still enjoy this monster of a drabble fic hybrid 🫶
Also heads up, it's an established relationship, yeah sorry I didn't know if you would be ok with that but uh yeah sorry 😭
Word count : 3.5k (How did I get here)
There wasn't any indication as to why you started to feel the way you do, maybe you were tired. It could be from stress, school work has been piling up so it wasn't a stretch to say that you might've been feeling a little burnt out. But deep down, you know exactly why. You're just too embarrassed to say it out loud, because what kind of person would you be to think that your friends were that shallow? A bad manager and an even more awful friend, that's what.
Everyone has been asking about you, concerned for your lack of response as of late. You barely look up from your notebook, something about a 'full proof strategy for their next game'. One so full proof it apparently doesn't need any input from the team or Kiyoko...or the coach... It's obvious you're trying to avoid them without being absent. Which makes it even more strange, usually you'd want to get away from the people you're avoiding. So why aren't you?
"Oh no, [Y/N] lookout!" A voice suddenly calls out, snapping you out of your thoughts just as you see a ball coming straight for you.
Before you could react, someone beat it to you, "I got it!" A hand reaches out and blocks the ball, you don't register who it is until—
"Nice save, Yacchan!"
Of course.
Yachi was the one who saved your face from getting pummeled while you sat there with your head in the clouds. All the more reason the team should just— just—
Just kick you off the team.
Ah.
There it is.
That's what's been on your mind. Why it was so hard for you to actually avoid them, you were scared to be pushed aside while trying to encourage them to do so. Thinking you were being good at your job, only to see someone new do it better.
You feel like you've been lacking as a manager, despite being in the club for longer. It felt like the newcomer, Yachi, was doing a lot better in the short time she's here. You know it was unwarranted, she's been nothing but helpful. Picking up all the little things you and Kiyoko taught her. The team also welcomed her with open arms, as did you.
It was a gradual realization on your end, with 3 managers on standby, it's easy to lose track of who does what job. But more and more it felt like you've been doing the least out of the 3 of you. It really affected you, even without you knowing.
You start to forget routines, things like after school clean up duty, homework, even going as far as to forget planned hangouts. It felt like all you wanted to do was finish the day as quickly as possible, you don't even get up from your seat much anymore. Your indifference in class is mostly likely why no one tried approaching you for stuff, which makes sense, you probably look unapproachable anyway.
Well, almost unapproachable. If it weren't for Tsukishima, who chose to come up to you on days you fully ignore the team.
"What's up with you?" His words were short and lacked any poise, fitting for the only first year keen on riling up opponents and allies alike.
"...Nothing is, I'm fine" Much like Tsuki, your words were curt. Hoping that the less you answer, the more he's inclined to leave you alone.
Giving you an unconvinced look paired with an equally unconvinced once over, he shrugs and turns to leave you be.
"Suit yourself"
That hurts more than anything your own mind can throw at you, because all it does is convince you further that they're better off without you. All you've been doing is feeling bad about yourself, starting to forget everything important in favor of ignoring the problem.
But strangely enough, even when you forget, nothing seems to have any big consequences. When you realize you forgot about cleanup duty, your class partner just shrugs, saying your friend stayed behind and helped them instead. You think that it could've been Yamaguchi, he sometimes helps with cleaning duty when someone's partner goes home early.
It makes you feel worse about your moping, inconveniencing not one but two people. All because you can't convince yourself that just because Yachi is doing a lot better than you, it doesn't mean you're useless.
Right?
Not to mention the heartwarming messages from your friends when you don't show up to a hangout, they seem so understanding in spite of how you don't even tell them anything. The messages telling you to "Take care of yourself" and "Work things out at your own pace" could honestly make you cry.
Even the team tries their best to cheer you up, or at least to get your attention. You can't lie and say you don't see Hinata trying to get the other first years to pull some cool volleyball stunt he saw once, hoping that you'll congratulate them. It's hard to ignore it, especially when you can just feel his occasional stare, trying to get a reaction from you. But, as much as you want to cheer them on, you just can't do that. And yet, they're still so understanding. Trying to raise your spirit, Yachi even tried to start a conversation with you by asking for help on different managerial duties. But to no avail, all you do is point her in the right direction before going back to your place in the stands. Her efforts weren't in vain, but not enough to really get to you.
But it doesn't add up, how would they know you're going through a tough time? Are you really that obvious? You probably are. Either way, it's sweet of them to still think about you even when you're basically ditching them.
What does make sense to you is the homework, which you still end up submitting on time. All thanks to, you guessed it, Tsukishima. He just started reminding you about homework due in 2 days, complete with the pages and formulas needed. A smart comment about your recent forgetfulness is always attached to the message, something to remind you that it's from Tsuki of all people.
Someone you got to know through Yamaguchi, a mutual friend of yours, and if that's not enough, then being on the same team definitely is. As a manager on said team, you were always there for whatever sarcastic quip he had at the ready. Complete with every short joke ever made and that snide smile of his almost everyday. Needless to say, it didn't take long for a friendship to bloom. No longer hanging out only when Yams was around, you both built a routine for when you have each other. Yet you were always one to break routine for something new, a habit the tall beanpole never fails to challenge.
"Why do I have to come with you? You can just go alone" He says, not too keen on the idea of skipping your usual bakery visit for a cafe.
"Because I don't want to go alone and you're the only free one" You were always so sure he'd come with you anyway, to the point where you don't even try to convince him anymore.
He did end up going with you in the end, even if he did have his complaints here and there. But overall, it was one of the few times you can visibly see him having a good time. You chose a cafe themed around the stars and space in general, which you knew Tsuki liked quite a bit. Sure it would've been better to go to a dinosaur themed cafe, but the ones you know about are all the way in Tokyo and Fukui. Nevertheless, that space cafe visit was definitely a core memory in both your and Tsukishima's friendship, no matter how much that salt shaker wanted to deny it.
Though you did promise that one day, both of you would go together.
As friends, cause that's what you are, right?
Wait, actually do you even remember what happened after the space cafe? Wasn't it really important?
It feels like you know exactly what it is, it's a *fact* that you remember what it is. But much like everything else around you, it as well, whether you mean to or not, is pushed to the back of your head. Your thoughts start to discourage your resolve in this self-driven solitude of yours, built upon claims with no support. But why would the evidence matter if the claim itself is enough to make you believe?
It really felt like you were going to keep up this ruse forever, nothing really served as a consequence to you. The only thing keeping you in this state were the small glimpses of the team above your notebook, always up to some dumb fun. Something you always looked forward to in spite of the grueling practice ahead of them, well it was something you looked forward to.
Your eyes catch onto the other first years happily chatting with each other, except for Tsuki who preferred to stand on the sidelines, only chiming in to add a sprinkle of sarcasm into the conversation. That seems fun, you knew it was. As you watch everyone laugh at something Yachi says, something in you starts coiling around your heart.
You're suddenly aware of every breath you take, your thoughts start to repeat 'breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...'
Your surroundings start to feel heavy, like you were tethered to your place. The sound of your own breathing feels louder than the voices in the gym. So focused on your empty notebook that everything else blurs at the edges of your vision.
It wasn't until you caught golden-brown eyes staring at you from across the court, genuine concern masked under a nonchalant gleam. You hold his gaze for longer than you'd like, unsure if there's anything else hidden under the bespectacled stare.
Tsuki only tilts his head in the direction of the other first years, probably telling you to come with them. You can only refuse, solemnly shaking your head. They can't possibly want you there with them, not after ignoring them for the better part of a week. It wouldn't be right to just butt in like that.
He probably knows that you're still not giving in, because it looked like he let out a sigh before walking towards them. Not before one last stare down with you, his gaze asking if you're sure about your decision. You can only hesitantly nod, you're not sure, you don't want to pick this decision, but you've convinced yourself that you're backed into a corner.
A corner you made up.
Well, no use in thinking about it now.
"Oi [Y/N], I'm gonna lock up the gym now! Better get going" Oh coach Ukai, you forgot he was still here. Taking your notebook and pen into your arms, you nod at the coach before heading towards the exit. Body slightly hunched over when you pass him, unable to look at him in the eye.
"Whatever it is you're going through, you know they got your back, right kiddo?" Ukai suddenly says, right before you leave. It makes you stand in your place for a while, thinking. You know they do, it just doesn't feel right to, especially when you didn't give them a valid reason for your distance.
"Y-yeah…Thanks, coach" You mumble, fully facing away from him. Turning to leave, when you catch a glimpse of the orange sky outside. Realizing how late it got, you break into a sprint back to your classroom.
Through the now empty halls, doused in ombre. No other soul in sight, leaving the sounds of your footsteps to be heard. The sky is beautiful today…wouldn't it be fun to experience it together?
Your pace slows right in front of your classroom, 1-4 written on a sign next to the door. Putting your hands on your knees to catch your breath from all the running, you stop to admire the light that passes through your classroom door.
And that's when you heard it, the faint scratching of a chalkboard being erased, you'd know that sound anywhere. It's soft, you could barely hear it over your own breaths, who could be cleaning it at this time? You know your partner didn't come to school today, they were sick. You yourself forgot, so why would anyone be there?
Slowly peeking through the door frame, you see a lone figure standing by the chalkboard. Short blond hair, a lean figure, headphones over his neck, the wire hanging loose. It's him, the one you felt the most guilt for. You watch him for a while, lazily swiping the eraser across the chalkboard.
So that's who your cleanup partner was talking about.
It wasn't Yamaguchi…
It was Tsuki.
He's been the one filing in for you, the one picking up after you. The one who kept pushing you to just talk to the team from a distance, he was looking out for you. The one that's been trying to reach out in his own way, you feel so stupid. Running away while your…
Your…
Your...
Own boyfriend looks out for you even when you unfairly pushed him away.
Your eyes glaze over and your breathing interchanges between short huffs and long shaky sighs. Feeling like you owe so much to him, keeping you afloat in an ocean of your own solitude. Step by step, you make your way over. Speeding up the closer you got.
Reaching him, you immediately press your face into his back. Arms wrapping around his waist, grabbing at the fabric of his school uniform to keep yourself in place. You can feel him tense, before slowly relaxing and going back to his cleaning. The guilt eating up at you even more, you clench your fists around his uniform, trembling in your place. Your lip trembles slightly, making your words sound even more pathetic than they already are.
"I'm…I-I'm so-so-...so-sor—ry—!" You sob, voice breaking off the same way you are. No words could express the mix of relief and remorse you feel, relief to be able to express your true feelings and remorse for your actions that didn't. Your eyes fill with tears that linger at their edge, waiting for a push to get them down.
"You better be, do you know how much they miss you? Those idiots won't stop asking me about you" Kei's words striking right through your heart, the coil no longer tight. Your tears finally fall as your cries get louder. You press your face further into your boyfriend's back for comfort, letting out all the pent up feelings you've harbored the past week.
"I…I just f-felt like—like I wa-was u-useless!" You whimper, sobs reduced to short intakes of air between big breaths.
"Idiot…" Turning to face you fully, Kei's hand settles itself on the top of your head, sliding down to the back. Pushing you further into an embrace of his own, refusing to look at you. One hand on the back of your head, the other fiddling with his headphone wires.
All that you've done, the distance you tried to make, it all came tumbling down. All at once. It was never supposed to take hold of you the way it did, so all you needed was something to justify ending it. Kei, is that something.
"It's just tha-that—Yachi is such-such a good mana–ger…be-better than me…" The words flow out before you could stop them, a confession to your actions. Hearing it out loud, you truly realize how weak your reasons are. It just shows how little it took to have you questioning your worth as a member of the team, laid out in front of the both of you.
"..." His silence causes you to meekly look up at him, afraid of what he might think. Kei was always good at keeping a neutral face, never making it easy for you to know what he's thinking.
"I don't want to stop being your guys' manager…" You lower your head, voice a whisper, lip still quivering slightly.
"Then don't, no one's telling you to quit"
Huh.
"But—" You quickly look back up at him.
"But nothing, Yachi's great and all but when will we ever get another clutz like you who pays for my drink?" He has a smug look on his face after saying that, eyes filled with nothing but mischief.
You say nothing, words stuck in your throat. Still staring at his stupid smile, he's probably so proud of himself for that. But, you knew he said that to cheer you up. Something to keep you out of your own head, and it's working.
"Way to ruin the moment…" You mumble, "Could've been a bit more dramatic" A soft smile takes over your expression, already feeling much more relieved than before.
"You can do that by yourself," Kei retorts, looking at you from the corner of his eye.
"But you'd still do it with me" Your smile grows, eyes filled with adoration for the pretty face in front of you. After being alone for the better part of a week, it was nice to finally talk again. Even if you had so much making up to do, to everyone in the team, maybe you could start with the one who still held you close.
"Oh? You sound so sure of yourself for someone who's been running away from me" Eyebrow raised in faux skepticism, waiting for your answer.
"I promise I'll make it up to you first" You tell him, before burying your face back into his front, basking in his familiar scent and warmth where you feel most at ease.
"You better"
And you will. To all of them.
Walking home from school during sunset is a special kind of rare to you, barely anyone on the streets. Your newfound goal for the following week, circling in your mind. Beside you was Kei, matching your pace with long strides contrasting your own smaller steps.
"Kei…Do you want to stop by Paprika heaven?" You suddenly ask.
"Paprika heaven? Really?" Kei is not convinced you're being serious, you can practically sense that raised brow.
"It's a cafe! I know the name isn't the sweetest sounding but trust me on this!" You insist, letting out an exasperated huff.
"Shouldn't it be closed?" He questions further, still doubtful.
"It closes at 9, I checked" You proudly exclaim, crossing your arms with a content look on your face.
Kei rolls his eyes at your antics, "Alright, I yield" he raises his hands in surrender, yet a smirk still makes its way onto his face, "But you're paying"
You freeze, realizing that he's right. You are going to pay for it, with your own money. Immediately, your figure deflates dramatically. Slouching forward with an exaggerated groan.
"Right…" Your wallet will never forgive you. But not because Paprika Heaven was too expensive, a piece of your soul just dies whenever you take out a remotely large amount of money from your wallet.
This apparently amuses your boyfriend because he starts laughing, so much so that his shoulders move in time with each laugh. He turns to look at your stunned figure, which only entertains him more. Hearing his mocking laughter, it shakes you out of your stupor. Irritation starts to take hold of you, wanting him to stop laughing at your obvious misery.
"Wha—?! Stop laughing!" Your fists make contact with your boyfriend's chest, repeatedly hitting him to get him to shut.
"I'm serious! I might become poor after this!"
"That's your own fault" In between laughs, Kei is still able to call you out. Seriously, can't he take this seriously?
After a while he calms down, wiping a single tear from his eye. You also calm down, arms tired from the repeated attacks on your boyfriend. Leaning your forehead on his chest to rest, eyes closing on their own from the change in atmosphere. Kei only stands proud, hands in his pockets and a grin spread across his face in content.
Comfortable silence wash over you, the sun still peeking just beyond the horizon, lighting up the road just enough for you to see the way ahead. It's way too late for a bunch of high school students to be out, let alone ones who plan on staying out. But that doesn't matter, you can take the worried lectures from your parents later. Right now, you want to make up for lost time.
"Kei—," You raise your head to face him, taking a deep breath,
"Thank you" A closed eyed smile appears on your face, "For still putting up with me"
"...Whatever" He looks away from you, eyes gazing over the road in front of you.
But no matter how much he tries to hide it,
You can still see that small genuine smile on his face.
#「★ It's showtime! ★」#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu drabbles#haikyu x female reader#haikyu x reader#haikyuu hurt/comfort#haikyuu x reader#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima kei x reader#tsukishima fluff#I DID IT#I'M DONE IT'S COMPLETE#Pls I'm so bad at anything angsty that this is just barely hurt and more comfort lmao#But still I'm so AKAJDHAJAHFNA#My first request and I took like 3 weeks to finish it AND it's probably way off track to what it's supposed to be#This could've been a nice short drabble but NO it turned to this#CURSE MY SLEEPY BRAIN IDEAS#But anyway wouldn't it be so cool if I just wrote short hcs for the time being 🫶#I'm going in drabble break after this ⚰️
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