#this took forever to do and it ran into a few issues that changed it from what i originally planned but

[plantfell]

Giant Challenge Finale

CW: familial death, child death, child experimentation, and grief

Once things are finished at Cafe December, Knives makes his way back to the Ark. In his pocket, the splinters of wood feel like lead weights. It was easy, as he was doing his deeds, to put them and the consequence of their joining to the back of his mind. He wasn’t completing the task to reach the end, but to get the Star’s game over with as quickly as possible. Now, there’s no more avoiding it. The game is over and a choice must be made: burn the figure, or keep it. Erase Tesla from his memories, or bring her into this world.

The choice is harder than Knives would like to admit. It wouldn’t be the first time the memory was taken from him in this world, and he still remembers what it was like when his memories were fragmented. While he hadn’t thought much of it in the time since, it’s hard to deny that it was nice to live without that weight in his heart. Yet, so much of who he is, is wrapped up in his memories of Tesla. Knives can at least admit that ridding himself of her memory would make it impossible to truly improve himself. To do so would mean confronting the fear that informs so many of his actions, and he can’t do that if he doesn’t remember where that fear started.

It may be a difficult choice, but the answer is obvious.

Picking where to piece the figure together is more of a process than it needs to be, and Knives ultimately settles on the Ark being the least jarring place Tesla could appear. He’s not sure what to expect or what state she might be in or even if she’ll even appear with him. A cruel twist like that doesn’t feel out of the realm of possibility, like some kind of monkey’s paw wish.

Even after he arrives home and finds a nice spot beneath the apple tree at the center of the bio-dome, it takes some time for Knives to start. Then, piece by piece, he finally puts it together. As the final piece finds it’s place and the figurine takes shape, he blinks. When his eyes focus again, he becomes aware of a little girl standing before him and his heart skips a beat.

It’s her.

Tesla. As she should be. Not in pieces suspended in tubes like a discarded specimen. Living, breathing, and, if her expression is any indication, confused. Despite her confusion, there’s still an element of curiosity and wonder to her gaze as she looks around. She doesn’t know where she is or why, but there is something about the man before her. Something familiar in a way she can’t explain. Not until she reaches out and their minds connect.

You’re like me, Tesla murmurs into his mind with oh so wide eyes.

All at once, any progress Knives might have made since his arrival dissolves. Her mind touches his and he’s reminded of all the reasons he started his crusade. Every reason he has to despise the human race. He falls to his knees and tightly wraps his arms around Tesla; one hand tightly gripping the back of her head while the other arm protectively wraps around her shoulders. Anger and bile form a knot in his throat as he struggles to form words or thoughts. Now more than ever it’s painfully clear that Tesla was just a child. She was innocent. The fact that humans were able to look at such a precious being and subject her to inhumane experiments is unfathomable. To think that he was actually starting to—

“Stop—“ Tesla mumbles uncomfortably, “You’re hurting me.”

Suddenly, the world comes rushing back in, and Knives becomes acutely aware of small hands pressing against his chest. He hadn’t realized how tightly he’d been holding Tesla and quickly releases her.

“Sorry, I—“ Knives hesitates, and guiltily looks away. He’s uncomfortably reminded of the first test he experienced. When mist engulfed the city and he found himself in the company of Vash’s younger self. If you asked him moments ago, he might have said he’d grown since that disastrous encounter, but now it couldn’t be clearer how little he had. Everything stems from Tesla and the ball of hate and pain he’s been unwilling to let go of. The one that reminded Knives that everything was for her sake. Just as it had once told him that everything after the Fall was for Vash’s sake.

Knives was the snake in the Garden of Eden and he just couldn’t stop eating his tail.

“Tesla…” He tries to keep his tone soft, but there’s an edge to it he can’t quite shake. He tries forcing a smile, too, but it’s debatable how helpful that is as he reaches out with shaking hands to gently hold her shoulders. All the while, he’s trying to ignore the fear that’s replaced the wonder in her eyes, and the way she flinches away from his touch. “Let’s start over… My name is Knives, and I’m… kind of like your younger brother. You have another brother named Vash, too. He’s… probably the kindest man to ever live, despite having every right to curse the world. I wish you could meet him, but…”

There’s a short pause as Knives takes in a shaky breath. He could take her to see Vash. Both of them. It’s fairly clear that this is meant to be some kind of reward where he can make up for lost time, but the lack of permanence makes it a little cruel, too. How can he really be expected to make up for so much lost time? Is it even his right to? Even now, as Knives settles on how to move forward, he’s not sure what would be more selfish: denying Tesla the chance to live, short as her time may be or denying her peace by forcing her to live to fulfill some need he thinks he deserves to fill.

“I want you to know something important. For what little good it does you now: you are loved. Your life was short, but it had an impact. One bigger than you could ever imagine. Those who love you keep you alive in their memories, and, so long as they live, a little part of you lives on within them.”

Knives shakily leans forward and presses their foreheads together. There isn’t much good he has to give, but still he digs within himself for the smoldering embers of love he’s been carefully cultivating and shares them with Tesla. It’s a weak flame, yet more warmth than she’s likely ever felt.

Thank you for being born, Tesla. Your life had meaning, and it’s loss was grieved. May you find peace in whatever lay beyond this life.

In return, Tesla wraps her arms around as much of Knives as they can reach and she hugs him tight until her form starts to fade. Soon Knives is left kneeling alone beneath the apple tree with only the vague impression of where she used to be. Grief weighs heavily in his chest as he almost immediately regrets letting her go, but there’s also a lighter feeling mixed in between. One made more prominent as he curls in on himself and allows himself the space to really grieve. Tears, snot, and ugly sobs… He lets himself feel it all.

As the chains of the past finally start to loosen, maybe soon Knives will be able to fully embrace the future and all it may hold.

[barcaatthemoon]

the ultimate betrayal || ingrid engen x mapi leon x child!reader ||

you get hurt from the most unlikely of sources.

you were definitely mapi's little girl. ingrid hadn't been there when mapi brought you home. she had been in wolfsburg, painfully unaware of your existence. the moment she got to barcelona and had her first practice, things changed forever. mapi claimed to have known from the moment that you ran over to the norweigan player that she had found her soulmate, or rather that you had found her soulmate.

everything that mapi did, you wanted to do too. that was why you were running around tailing your mother with a smaller version of her flag. it was a staple of barcelona games to have the tiny flag girl. players on both sides knew to watch out for you and create a bubble of sorts for you to run around in.

for the most part, you stuck around the barcelona players. occasionally, you'd wander over to the other players when barcelona played teams like athletico madrid. for the most part, you weren't too picky about who your friends were, as long as they weren't real madrid players. alexia and mapi had told you all about how badly sick they were. you hoped that one day, they'd find a cure to whatever was making them feel like that.

"vicky, watch my trick!" you called out to the player. you managed to get her attention as well as a few other people's, which you thought was great. you gripped your flag tightly in your hands and started to run before jumping up like you had seen your mami do before. unfortunately, you had a bit too much momentum than what you could handle, so you toppled right over and landed directly on your face.

ingrid didn't think that she had ever moved so fast in her entire life. mapi didn't even know what was going on, but once she heard you crying, she was right by ingrid's side as the norweigan scooped you into her arms to console you. you looked positively confused, having done your little trick on the trampoline at your abuela's before with your moms watching you.

"shh, shh, it's okay. you just had a little tumble, you're okay. look at me baby," ingrid said as she smoothed your hair down. you were still crying as you leaned back so that she could get a good look at you. that didn't last long because you quickly pushed your head against the side of her neck to hide from the sun. "mapi, i'm going to take (y/n) for a walk. she needs some ice for her head."

"alright, let's go." mapi looked a bit shaken up, but ingrid's presence and ability to stay calm helped a lot. she walked behind the two of you, smiling and waving at you when you peeked your head up to see where you were going. they took you to the trainer's, and while you normally liked him, today he kept shining a light in your eyes.

a bunch of boring questions and bright lights later, you were given sunglasses and headphones. there wasn't any music in them, but they made everything sound quieter, which you appreciated. mapi held you tightly in her arms after the game, which normally wouldn't have been an issue because you loved cuddling, but she was sweaty. once one of the other girls were back from the showers, you went over to cuddle with them.

"don't fall asleep," alexia said as she tapped on your nose. she had seen you fall, and a part of her was surprised that you had only walked away with a minor concussion and a little scrape from the top of your flag on your forehead. it was pretty close to your eye, so alexia knew how lucky you were that things weren't worse. "tell me a story bebita."

"no stories, i'm hurt," you whined. alexia cupped your cheeks and leaned down to press a kiss over the bandaid you had on your forehead. "not better, you're not ingrid. you don't have magic."

"bebita, your words wound me!" alexia gasped dramatically. you let out a small chuckle, but laughing made your head hurt. alexia played with you carefully, which was why you went over to her in the first place. she was always careful, outright refusing to rough house with you most of the time. mami said that she played like a coward, and you agreed. girls like cata and jana were far more fun, but they would have probably hurt your head worse.

"alright bebita, it's time to get on the bus," mapi said as she ushered you away from alexia. you happily let her carry you onto the bus, where you were sandwiched in between her and ingrid. you cuddled up against ingrid, playing with the woman's fingers as she and caro talked about something in norweigan. you didn't know the language very well at all, but you thought that it sounded beautiful whenever ingrid spoke it.

"i think that you dropped something on the field," cata said as she approached with your flag in her hand. immediately, you burst into tears, screaming at the top of your lungs in spanish to get it away from you. cata quickly tossed it behind her, hitting patri with it as she scampered off apologizing to mapi and ingrid.

"bebita, you love your flag," mapi said, obviously a little confused.

"no, i hate it. it hurt me," you cried. ingrid pulled you tightly against her chest and rubbed your back until your crying had subsided. you spent the whole ride back tucked safely against her side, not moving even when mapi and marta tried to bribe you with chocolates.

"this is serious, you have to fix things," marta said as she glanced at the flag patri was stuck holding. mapi knew that you'd eventually get over it, you had once claimed to hate bagheera after getting scratched, only to fall asleep cuddling the cat that night. in fact, you claimed to hate anything the moment that it hurt you, only to forget in a day or two, so mapi assumed this would also be the case.

…

upon your return home, the living room had been turned into a blanket fort. mapi took it upon herself to distract you from not being able to watch tv or play video games while ingrid made sure that you took naps and rested. they had a good balance going, which shouldn't have come as a surprise for either woman. they had been working effortlessly as a team for nearly their entire relationship.

"bebita, i think it is almost your naptime. we have a shadow," mapi said as she nudged your shoulder. you turned to see ingrid's legs as the woman stood in front of your fort. cautiously, you lifted up the door flap and peeked your head out.

"hola ingrid. do you want to come in?" you asked her. ingrid knelt down in front of you and pulled you out of the fort. "can i take my nap in the fort with mami, please?"

"not today. you're not taking a nap right now, we have to go to the doctor's," ingrid told you. you huffed and puffed, but let her put your shoes on anyway. you had thought it was a bit odd that both you and mami had to wear nice clothes to play in earlier.

the doctor did the same things the trainer did when you fell, only now the lights didn't bother you nearly as much. whatever the doctor had told your moms must have made them happy because ingrid took you to mcdonald's, which never happened. mapi would occasionally give in whenever you'd ask for it, but ingrid never did. you should have known something was up when you saw some of the barcelona girls there too.

"i've been holding onto something of yours for you," patri told you. you felt conflicted as she set your flag on the table in front of you. it was yours, and you loved it, but the last time you had played with your flag, you got headaches and couldn't watch movies or tv with your moms.

"that's a bad flag, it hurt me," you grumbled. patri sighed as she started to pull it away. on instinct, you reached out to grab it and pull it towards you. "but it's mine. i'm the flag girl, that's what mami says. it's my job to wave the flag so that we can win."

"does that mean you'll take it back?" patri asked. you nodded as you pulled the flag against your chest. silently, ingrid thanked patri as you sat there hugging the flag. "just be careful, we can't lose our flag girl again this season. vicky tried, but it's not the same."

[loviingpedri]

tasting blondies - mason mount and joe burrow

prompt: noticing a pattern in your love life.

joe b x reader

ex!mason mount x reader

warnings: grammar issues, cursing, arguing

click to help palestine

credits to owners for all images

sitting on the couch with you boyfriend, joe. you ran your fingers through his short hair.

“i can’t believe you did this.” you laughed as both of you smiled.

“yeah, me either. i decided to change it up for the summer. do something for the new season.” he held you tight, smelling his strong cologne.

“if it’s one thing, you look good. really good.” you clicked your tongue at the emphasis of the word ‘really’.

and that’s when the flashback hit you.

slowly touching his hair, admiring the white chocolate color. at the same time a few years ago, you would be ending a messy situation with a boy with a similar haircut, mason mount.

“is there something wrong?” joe asked you as your expression changed.

“no, nothing is wrong. something just came in mind.”

you love joe, seriously. the memories of june 2023 always come back to haunt you. meeting the famous other footballer, changing your life. you experienced so many things within a month. you were so attached, blinded by love, nothing would’ve seen it coming.

on mason’s summer vacation, he invited you to go to spain with him. of course you accepted, you wanted to see what this relationship could bring to your life.

in the end, it was pain, regret, and heartbreak.

joe was staring at your facial features and talking gently, “you can talk to me.”

“it’s nothing. just some old memories came back. it was never important anyway.” your cleared your throat, desperately wanting to change the topic on the conversation.

“is it about that one guy you told me about? mason mount, right?”

you looked at him, trying to find a good answer.

“yeah, but i don’t wanna think about him. he’s long gone in my life. i’m craving some brownies, what about you?”

laughing at you, “i think it’s funny, the guys sent in the group chat of him when i first showed my hair. they said it was funny how you’re dating another blonde now.”

“i never thought of that.” you laid your back on the coach, really taking in the information of the pattern you just figured out.

“you know, you never told me what happened with him.” you looked at joe, a lump formed in your throat.

————flashbacks————

“are you serious right now, mase?” you pushed him away from you as he was attempting to explain.

“it wasn’t like that!”

“you use that same fucking excuse for everything.”

“i’m not the one who followed someone else on this vacation.” he threw his arms up.

“everything is about you. isn’t it? i went on this vacation because i was in love with you. mase, you can’t be serious right now.”

“nobody told you to catch feelings, alright. i thought we both assumed this wasn’t gonna be serious.” you scoffed at him.

“so you took this as a joke? i am not a joke.”

“holy shit, you’re actually unbelievable. we were never official!”

“to you. you think mind games is funny?”

“i only thought this was a summer fling. i thought you were gonna see other people, like me. i wasn’t gonna stay in chelsea forever and i was sure you weren’t gonna stay.”

tears forming in your eyes. you were in disbelief.

“of course i was gonna stay with you. i was ready to leave everything behind to follow you. i thought we had something.”

“sorry y/n. you thought wrong.”

————flashback ended————

you cleared your throat as you poured white chocolate chips into the batter.

“so yeah, that was my lame ex.” you gave him a warm smile as you shared the most vulnerable part of your life.

“you didn’t deserve that, seriously.” joe stroked your hair as he ate a few chips.

“the past is past. the pain is healed, and i’ve got the best boyfriend ever.”

joe kissed your forehead as the oven beeped after it was done pre-heating.

-

sitting on the couch with freshly baked blondies.

“i think you have some sort of magic on men.” joe said, taking a bite after.

“what?”

“you start dating a guy, then all of a sudden, he goes blonde.” he shrugged his shoulders.

“i’ve never thought of that. i’m just really that powerful then.”

sharing a laugh, you were proud of the person you became. the pain healed, and so did your heart.

because, in the end, your feelings are valid. and you learned a lesson that no matter how much something hurts you, you can find happiness somewhere else, for the better.

[jacksdinonuggets]

For hurt/comfort, how about Vaggie is having a bad autism day and regresses so big brother Angel helps calm her down?

of course!

tw: meltdowns, mention of Valentino, and mention of blood

It was done. Adam was dead. Nifty had killed him, letting his golden blood spew everywhere. Everyone was really happy, especially because he had brought them so much mental and physical pain. Vaggie was pretty happy about it too. However, she would be lying if she said a part of her wasn’t a little sad. Sometimes he was like a father figure to her. Sure, he was a bit…crude at times, but he also worried and cared for his girls. It just felt like a big part of her childhood had just died.

“Soo, who's up for pancakes?” Lucifer asked. Nifty raised her hand, very excited for his sweet treat. Vaggie, not so much. She was feeling nauseous and her brain was feeling so fuzzy and foggy. Not to mention all the emotions she needed to process. They were coming at her all at once and it was really overwhelming.

Lucifer suddenly teleports all of them to the Morningstar palace. This just made Vaggie feel so much worse. Her surroundings changed so fast. Change wasn’t good. She needed to go back to the rubble! But she couldn’t without being seen as weird or it being a waste of time.

“There's a couple of guest rooms you guys can take. Wash up while I go get the pancakes ready!” he tells them before disappearing into the kitchen.

Everything was too much. Why did he teleport them?! Why couldn’t they just walk?! She needed to slowly go through change. Not this! She needed to shower. She wanted these itchy feathers stuck to her with blood off. She really hoped she would get to the shower first. Charlie always took forever with showers.

“Hey Hun? I’m gonna go get washed up. Wanna shower with me?” Charlie asked. No, vaggie did not. Charlie talked too much when they were alone and she really didn’t want to hear that right now. She just wanted to be alone. She wanted to lay down in her crib in the nursery. She wanted to cuddle with her koala bear and suck on her paci. But she couldn’t do that because the nursery, her safe space, was gone! It was destroyed in battle.

“I-... I’m good, Char. I’ll wait,” She says. Charlie deserved to take a shower first. She had lost one of her best friends and was probably also dealing with a lot of sensory issues. 

“Okay… but if you need anything, I’ll be in our room.” Charlie assured her, walking upstairs.

Once she was out of sight, Vaggie made a beeline towards the bathroom (the ones that don’t usually have showers). She felt a meltdown coming up and did not want anyone to see her having a tantrum.

However, Angel dust saw her start running towards the bathroom as he was talking to husk. It looked like she was overwhelmed and distressed. Angel would know, his co-workers often had that look after a shoot as they ran to their dressing room. The sounds of meltdowns and panic attacks were always heard in the studio.

Concerned, Angel excused himself and followed her. He saw her enter one of the bathrooms. Instead of barging in, he waited a couple of minutes to make sure she wasn’t actually using it. 

“Vags, you okay in there?” He asked, knocking on the door. Muffled and strangled cries was his response.

“I’ll give you a few seconds to get decent if you’re not, but I will be coming in,” He announced

After waiting about 10 seconds, he got out a hair pin and started picking the lock. When he got it, he opened the door.

Poor Vaggie was curled up against the sink, banging her head on the wooden cabinets. Her hands were gripping her pants so hard that her knuckles were turning white. She choked on sobs, obviously trying to keep quiet.

“Hey, hey, Shh, it’s okay, doll” He kneels down in front of her. She pulls her head back and bangs it really hard against the cabinets. Angel winces, knowing that must’ve really hurt. He placed a hand between the cabinet and her head.

“Vaggie, sweetie, take sum deep breaths, please,” He insists. She wasn’t really hyperventilating, but it was still concerning.

She takes a few but it just forces her to let out a loud sob as tears flow. Stupid angel and his hands stopping her from injuring herself.

“I know, I know, this is very overwhelming, but you gotta calm down,” Angel sits next to her, making sure he doesn’t touch her.

He hesitates for a sec before taking off his hat. Inside of the cap was a little replica plushy of Fat Nuggets. It was very important to him. Even though he got Nugs from Val, the pig provided him a lot of comfort. The gift became separated from the gifter.

“Wanna hold him?” he asks, holding the plush out. Vaggie needed the comfort a lot more than he did right now.

Vaggie held the plush, the friendly face and soft fabric helped her calm down a little. Angel started singing soft lullabies in italian, which helped vaggie relax a lot. He was fluent and his accent was soft. With enough singing, she eventually calmed down.

“Wanna tell your big bro what happened?” Angel asked, guessing what headspace she was in.

“Evewyfing too much. Dun wanna be here. Dun wike change. Wanna go home to nuwsery…” Vaggie explains, curling up with her knees against her chest.

Angel frowned. He couldn’t really help with anything. Sure, he calmed her down, but he couldn’t bring back her safe space. 

“Wanna baf…nd cuddles” Suddenly, she leaned against Angel’s shoulder, closing her eyelids.

He smiled. At least he could help with those.

“I’ll let your Mama give you bath when she’s done showering, but I don’t mind giving you a few cuddles for now,” He said, picking her up and laying her down in his lap.

They moved to the couch in the gigantic living room to cuddle. When Charlie came back downstairs to tell Vaggie the bathroom was open, she saw Vaggie laying against Angel while sucking on her thumb. She awed, finding it adorable. They always acted like they hated each other but when Vaggie went small, Angel made it his goal to be the best big brother in the world.

[inkluvs]

Hiii bby ivy !!! I'm here again, I'm seriously so happy and proud of you, you are such a beautiful soul and a sweet human being, you bring so much joy into a lot of people's lives, I love you so so much ♡.

Tea - one is having a bad hair day and their convo goes like “it’s awful. “it’s fine.” “i am hideous.” “it’s really not that bad.” “i can’t leave the house like this.” “you’re beautiful to me *shrug*.” “STOP LYING.” I feel like this would be amazing with bby steve or robin, feel free to choose wich one♡.

can barely tell

a/n: hehe okay sorry this took so long baby <3 tw: excessive use of the petname honey for steve ; him being a little dramatic ; (0.3k)

steve harrington x fem! reader

ivy's cafe // masterlist // taglist

Steve ran his hand through his hair for what must’ve been the hundredth time, pushing the front pieces this way and that before looking at you, honey-brown eyes glinting with unshed tears. His own reflection stared back at him from the mirror; the fingerprint smudges distorting the otherwise picture perfect image of him. 

“What’s the matter,” you murmured, “somethin’ happen?”

“My hair,” he sniffed, swallowing harshly, “it’s awful.” Laughter bubbled in the base of your throat, and he pouted, still messing with a few strands. Steve had gotten a haircut, had insisted that his hair was getting too long, and he’d come home sniffling, mumbling about how the lady had cut off too much and he was ruined, that he’d never leave the house again. You couldn’t help but smile, the change was barely noticeable, and here he was, in tears.

“S’not awful, honey, ’s fine,” you promised, “can barely tell.”

“I’m hideous,” he whined, “stop lying to me.”

“Honey, it really isn’t that bad,” you insisted, smoothing your thumb over his hairline.

“ve got to stay home till it grows out. It could take forever,” he wiped harshly at his eyes, drying the tears haphazardly, “you’ve gotta tell everyone that I’m sick, that I’ve got a terminal illness or something.”

“You’re beautiful to me,” you shrugged, almost laughing at how his frown deepened.

“Stop lying,” he insisted.

“‘M not honey, swear on my life, but,” you swallowed, considering your words carefully, “if it’s really an issue, I could try trimming it?”

“You’d do that?” his eyelashes fluttered.

“To keep you from stayin’ home and poutin’ all day? Anything,” you mumbled, fingers already combing through the strands, “this much seem okay?”

“Anything to fix it,” he whispered, “can’t go ’round calling myself Steve’ the hair’ Harrington if my best feature’s ruined.”

[freewillacquired]

In a world ravaged by a virus that primarily creates monsters, nasty encounters are in no short supply. When Rain begins to hear heavy footfalls—when she feels them practically shaking the ground beneath her, she figures she's about to have another.

Cursing under her breath, she unholsters her gun.

The days were blending together in depressing ways now. Nemesis was shocked at how quickly things had gone to hell after the Hive and Raccoon City Incidents. It had taken him quite a while to regenerate after the city's "sanitation," but once he was on his feet again, he realized the gravity of what was happening to the world.

Alone and with nothing left to do in his current mutated state, Nemesis had taken to showing up at Umbrella facilities unannounced, and destroying as much of them as he could. The digital feed supplied by the retinal implant attached to his right eye and sewn up into his head gave him a lot of useful information, especially after his mind was liberated from Umbrella's control. May as well put it to good use, right?

He'd acquired more clothes and equipment this way, with the boots and leather trenchcoat-style getup being standard issues for a creature called a Tyrant, which he apparently now was. They seemed just about the only things that were going to fit his... unique body shape nowadays.

Learning about himself and destroying Umbrella assets were good pastimes, but Nemesis was extremely lonely. The few survivors he came across now and then either screamed and ran from him or shot at him. Bullet wounds were nothing more than annoying mosquito bites to him now, thanks to his thick hide, but even so... it was demoralizing. All he wanted to do was help. He was almost getting used to being alone all the time, by necessity rather than desire, until that unexpectedly changed. While exploring a city one day, he rounded a corner and-

"Raaaain!" Nemesis bellowed the moment he saw her, unable to contain his excitement upon seeing her. "Oh... ny god!" He couldn't believe his eyes. Well, eye. He still had two, but one was... indisposed. In a move that probably looked damn near ridiculous to the other, he lifted his hand... and waved to her. "I'n so glad... to see you! How... are you... alithe... right now?" he tried to ask, his massive chompers getting in the way, as usual.

Nemesis couldn't get his voice to be anything other than a monotone growl, and with monstrous teeth and a noticeable lack of lips, his speech was something of a garbled mess. It took him a while, but he'd learned to make certain sounds in other ways, using his throat and tongue. Essentially, he'd had to relearn how to speak. Some sounds and words, though, were lost forever. None of that did anything to curb his enthusiasm at seeing Rain alive, however. Was he finally losing his mind? Hallucinating, maybe? No, the target identification system is identifying her as Rain... Right now, Nemesis didn't care either way. Just the sight of her was one for sore eyes, since his last clear memory of her was being at death's door.

"I thought... the anti-thirus... didn't work...?" he said, his elation at seeing her alive completely overriding his common sense. Nemesis wasn't thinking about the fact that Rain wouldn't recognize him anymore, or about how negatively she would likely react to seeing the hulking beast before her. Not to mention his tentacles, rooted at the backs of his shoulders, which were excitedly coiling and undulating in their own right, reacting to his surprise and happiness. He batted one of them with his hand. "Cut it out...!" he admonished the obnoxious appendage. It recoiled temporarily before returning to its idle activities.

Then it dawned on him, especially with how she had her gun at the ready. Oh no... she has no idea who I am. "It's Natt," he said, laying his hand on his chest. "Natt... Ad-di-son." How pathetic is it that I can't even say my own name correctly anymore? he thought grimly.

[ase-trollplays]

When Everything Is Gone

It felt strange being back in their old stomping grounds after half a sweep away. From the outside, things looked as good as they ever did, but Amprus knew these streets, these people, the atmosphere. They knew this place as though they lived their whole life there, so the change was felt in an instant.

Something was very, very wrong.

The first thing they noticed were the hemoanons in suits that walked the streets and ran the businesses. The second thing was the lack of Marked. Not a single troll could be found with a black band on their horns, a stark contrast to the city they remembered. There even seemed to be less people around now. Businesses they used to frequent were gone, and the number of hiveless trolls was concerning considering how rare a sight it used to be.

They spent the whole night investigating and taking notice of all the changes and problems they saw. Some things were an improvement such as the soup kitchen and the hiveless shelter, both of which were packed with desperate trolls. However, they couldn't abide the multitude of other issues. The entire city's vibes were off, and they needed answers. As soon as daylight broke, they made their way to a familiar apartment complex to talk with an old friend.

******************************************************

A young rustblood, one Vallen Shonee, sits in the living room of his apartment with his gecko-frog lusus sleeping in its enclosure. He's in the middle of taking apart the tv remote when you throw open the front door and stomp your way in. He jolts and drops the remote on the floor before giving you a glare.

"Knock knock! Who is it? It's me, Amprus! Oh cool, come right in," he deadpans and stands up from the couch. "Nice pajamas, by the way. You're a little early for the sleepover, though."

You march up to him and grab him by the collar so you can force him down to your eye level. He yelps and shoves you off of him. "Easy, killer! Since when can't you take a joke?"

"What the hell is going on around here!?" you demand as he smooths out his shirt.

"I was minding my business and you busted in and assaulted me!"

"Not that, you idiot! The city! Everything's wrong!"

"How do you not know? You practically live here. ... No, wait. You... You died sweeps ago. You're dead," Vallen said as he looked down at them. He placed a hand on his head as realization clicked in his mind. "You're dead, so... I--"

"You're dreaming. This is a dream. I'm really here, though. TLDR ghost powers," you tell him impatiently. He sits back down on the couch, gathers the remote pieces, and resumes dismantling it. He lets out a big, long sigh as he thinks about what to say next.

"The Grey Mob took over," he finally says after what feels like forever. Your eyes widen at that, and your confusion and shock is quickly converted to anger and disbelief. You slap the remote out of his hands and once again grab him by the collar. This time he doesn't fight you.

"What do you mean the Grey Mob took over!? Who let that happen?? Who's the idiot who let them in!!" you question as you give him a few hard shakes. He doesn't even look at you, which just pisses you off more. You shake him even harder to get some kind of reaction out of him. "Well!!?"

"We didn't have a choice," he weakly admits. "We were getting attacked on all sides by highblood gangs every week. People were scared, and we were struggling to keep up.

"The first time one of them showed up offering to help, we sent them packing. Told them we know how to take care of our own, and we don't need them. The next week, a gang of clowns came. We lost a lot of Marked and residents. They nearly demolished us.

"When the Grey Mob came back a second time, we were against the wall. We wouldn't survive another attack, and everyone was terrified. We were desperate, so we agreed to an alliance."

You slowly release him as you process everything, but your deep glare never falters. Something doesn't sound right. Highblood attacks were never that frequent, and the mob just happened to show up and offer to help? There's no such thing as a good mob. They wouldn't offer unless they were getting something out of it.

"... I bet those fuckers planned this. They sent all those highbloods here to--"

"Yeah, we know. It didn't take that long to figure out something was sus," Vallen interrupted. "We didn't realize it right away, but after those purples came and the mob sent someone again, we got the message."

"So you knew this was a setup, and you still let them in!? What's the matter with you!?" you shout in anger. Vallen finally breaks from his despondence and shoots up from the couch to push you hard enough that you stumble backwards onto your ass.

"What were we supposed to do, Amprus!? Let the city get taken over and destroyed!? Let everyone living here get killed?! It was death or compliance, so we chose what would keep us and everyone else alive!!" he roars at you. You hate that he's probably right, but you refuse to believe there wasn't some other third option. You sit on the floor stewing in your unbridled frustration stubbornly refusing to answer.

After several moments of uncomfortable silence, Vallen calms down enough to speak.

"It didn't start out this bad. They were actually pretty helpful. They set up a money lending place that helped people afford having their hives and businesses repaired and rebuilt, and the rates were good. They did community outreach like the soup kitchen and the hiveless shelter to help people get back on their feet. Even did renovation projects," he explains as he once again takes a seat on the couch, though he doesn't bother fussing with the remote anymore.

"Then they started pressuring the businesses to give them protection money. The places that refused got their reputations trashed and ended up going under. Then underground casinos started popping up, and the people who couldn't pay their debt were forced to work for them until it was resolved."

"What happened to the Marked? There's no one with a band on their horns anymore, at least not any I could find," you ask. You want to believe there's still some of them holed up somewhere, but the way Vallen sighs and holds his head in his hands says otherwise.

"The Marked are gone, Amprus. They starved us out. Anyone who supported us got hit with penalties, and their businesses wouldn't help us. Eventually we disbanded. Some of them left the city altogether," he explained sadly. The disappointment in his voice is so heavy and thick you swear you can feel it settle on your skin like a blanket. This can't be how it ends.

"... So that's it, then. We just lied down and let them take our city from us. Leriot would never settle for this shit," you curse and pick yourself up off the floor. Another sigh from Vallen as he looks back at you tells you you're not going to like what he says next.

"You're right. He didn't. That's why they got rid of him."

The words form a heavy boulder in the pit of your stomach, and all you can do is stare back at him searching for some kind of sign or tell in his expression to let you know that the worst didn't happen. You find nothing of the sort, and you start feeling anxiety creep in.

"What do you mean they got rid of him?" you ask almost pleadingly as your voice wavers. He looks at you incredulously.

"What do you think it means when the mob gets rid of someone?" he deadpans, and the pit in your stomach drops.

"When...?" You can feel the corners of your eyes start to sting and your jaw lock up, and he looks at you hesitantly as if not telling you would spare your feelings. Your eyes sting more as small tears start to form. Your patience is hair thin. "When did they kill him??"

"Six perigees ago. He was rallying the last Marked to run the mob out and take back the city. They found him frozen to death in an industrial freezer. The door was tampered with so it wouldn't open from the inside. Corpse cutter said he was in there at least two nights. Everyone that was backing him either abandoned the plan or had 'accidental' deaths of their own. ... I'm sorry, Amprus."

You're silent for a few moments. Then a few minutes. Leriot is dead. The Marked is gone. The city belongs to the Grey Mob. Everything's ruined. If you could die a second time, you probably would from heartbreak. Your second home is dead, and you couldn't even be here to fight for it.

You only snap out of it when you feel Vallen wrap his arms around you in a hug. Proud as ever, you refused to show vulnerability in front of him. With a hard shove, you break the hug.

"Where did you bury him?"

[raggedy-albert]

Ok it’s clear you are very attached to Albert and I do not know a lot about Albert other than he’s a redhead and I ship him with Finch so bless me with your glorious Albertness.

AHHH THIS IS THE BEST ASK IVE EVER GOTTEN TYSM ANON

this is going to be really long so it’s under the cut

so we’ll start off with the simple hcs:

he’s portuguese

he loves to steal and does it all the time

he has two older brothers and his mom died (canon)

his favorite color is green

his birthday is in august

he says “come on” a lot

he doesn’t drink alcohol because of negative past experiences

he doesn’t like the feeling of anything on his arms, which is why he wears tank tops

Finch, Crutchie, Jack, Davey, and obviously Race are the newsies he’s closest with

he never pays for his papers

he’ll call finch any other bird than finch

he was born in brooklyn

he’s hard of hearing

he’s shockingly not that good at lying

he likes his job and his life

he has a really weird sense of humor

people call him “red”

he will do anything if it’s a dare or a bet

ok now onto the more complex ones:

He has two older brothers, but used to have three. The one that used to be the oldest was the one who he was closest with, and he really looked up to him, especially since their mother died and their father’s treatment of them got so much worse. One day, relatively soon after their mom died, the brother went to steal food for Al and their other siblings, and Al went with him. Their home was out of food, and out of money, so they had to steal to survive. As the brother swiped something he somehow was caught doing so, and a police officer took him. As the brother was being taken away he took his hat off to hide the food in, tossed it to Albert, and told him to run. The brother got sent to the Refuge. After waiting and denying for what seemed like forever, Al finally realized his brother just didn’t make it out. He still wears his brother’s newsie cap every day, backwards too, just like his brother.

When he ran away from home after his brother died and after he started to become more angry and bigger, the Brooklyn newsies (they knew his brother, and it was the closest borough) took him in (which is where he met Spot, though he wasn’t leader of the Brookies yet. They weren’t really close though, they just knew that each other existed). The Brookies gave him a nickname (Sticks) and he became really close friends with someone (Stones), another newsie who was around his dead brother’s age. The newsie didn't have any friends but he had been with the Brooklyn newsies for a while, and Albert didn’t have any friends there so he thought it was a perfect match. The newsie would only call Al by his nickname, which he didn’t really like but the newsie told him it made him sound cooler, and he figured it was a way to disconnect from his past life. That newsie and him became brothers (“replacing” the brother he lost) but Albert didn’t realize how toxic and controlling he was. They went everywhere together and they sold together and were inseparable, but one day his “friend” got in trouble with the cops and was going to be sent to the Refuge so he blamed it all on Albert and got away with no punishment, while Albert got sent away instead. His short time there changed him, he has a few physical scars from the abuse (he hates others seeing them), but most of them are mental. He got extremely protective of others, which is where he first adopted the older brother mindset, but he also started getting nightmares as well as sleep issues and his mental health plummeted. He also became really jumpy, and he got much quieter, though before he was outgoing, loud, and rebellious. After he got out he always tries to give whatever extra food or little money he has to Specs to give to the kids he left behind, who he thinks about often. Ever since this, he swore off nicknames. He is still friends with a few of the Brookies, but he doesn’t like to see them too often since it’s hard for him because it reminds him of the newsies who betrayed him and his brother.

He’s actually pretty smart but didn’t get a school education since he started working so young. One of the Brooklyn newsies taught him the basics of how to read, which he used to tell the other newsies the headline or just to entertain himself. He’s sort of a smart dumbass though, and it’s more street smarts than intelligence.

Very protective over others, but not of himself (he doesn’t understand why other people protect him, since he doesn’t feel like he deserves it). Especially the younger newsies, he feels that they don’t really have anyone sticking up for them, so he became that someone. Obviously the other newsies are important too and he’ll protect them but they’re attuned to the difficulties of their lives, and are just older and bigger.

He used to mostly live at his house but ever since both of his brothers moved out his father became more violent due to there not being anyone to protect him anymore, he lives in the lodging house most of the time. Sometimes he randomly shows up late at night with bruises and doesn’t say anything about why. The other newsies just accept that he sometimes shows up and needs a place for the night. He has his own designated bed there (the bunk under Race’s).

One of his brothers was a striking trolley worker which is why he seemed sort of hesitant to strike, because he saw the effects of it. He also didn’t want to cut off another source of income for his family, leaving the other brother having full responsibility. That’s one of the reasons why he was quick to defend the trolley workers (he also just genuinely didn’t want innocent people to get hurt).

Before his mom died, he wasn’t really close with her. He mostly spent time with his dad. Even if they didn’t really talk, they just got along and sat in comfortable silence together. It’s not like he disliked his mom or anything, they just weren’t close and it was sort of awkward whenever they would interact. After she died though, his dad completely changed. He got angry. It was like he had lost two parents, not one.

OK THAT WAS A LOT BUT AGAIN TY ANON AND THAT IS MY SUMMARY OF MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER

[therealblondebucky]

Chapter 6 of Not The Only One - A Winter Soldier Story

Rating: Teen to Mature

Word Count: 5.4K

Warnings: Canon-typical violence (with more specifics in the tags)

June 25, 2016

As the morning sunlight sifted into the Quinjet, the two super soldiers began to stir.

"Good morning," Steve whispered in a gentle tone.

Bucky groaned groggily.

"There should be a way to make coffee somewhere. Clint always had a pot of it," murmured Steve to himself as he got up to make breakfast.

Upon finding the coffee machine, Steve put it to work. The final product did not taste great, but it was strong, and that was all that really mattered.

Their breakfast of a cup of coffee, a slice of bread with peanut butter on it, and an apple each was soon ready.

After eating a bite of his peanut butter bread, Steve said, "Do you remember the ban-"

"on sliced bread?" Bucky finished.

Steve nodded and took a sip of his coffee.

Bucky rolled his eyes. "That was the dumbest thing! All it accomplished was making every housewife in America mad!"

Steve shook his head. "They were trying to save metal and paper, but people just couldn't seem to go without their sliced bread."

"Yeah, no one else had any problem buying and eating the 'illegally' sliced bread except you," Bucky pointed out.

"It wasn't legal! Not to mention unfair to the places that did stop selling sliced bread," Steve defended himself. "Plus, they were always talking about those 'stern measures' they were going to use against the bread slicers."

Bucky laughed lightly. "Gosh, that was a long time ago."

Steve hated to kill the lighthearted moment they were sharing, but now was just as good a time as ever to ask Bucky about her.

"Speaking of a long time ago, what's the history between the two of you?" Steve asked, motioning to the girl.

Bucky's entire demeanor changed along with the new topic. He took a deep breath before slowly beginning to speak about her.

"After the Starks' 'accident,' I went to this workshop to get her. She was a scrawny little thing but ran like the devil when she saw me. She ended up tripping on a cord, and this huge saw fell on her. She tried to free herself by pushing against it but accidentally flipped the switch and turned it on."

Bucky's voice was hoarse as he said, "The blade went completely through her arm like it wasn't even there." After collecting himself for a moment, Bucky continued. "I pulled her out and brought her back to the base. The next time I saw her, she had the metal arm and was bigger because of the serum. I taught her how to kill others and not get herself killed. Then they made us spar with one another. After that, we fought each other with no holds barred, and she beat me."

"The next time I saw her, she was in a paper gown with her legs spread for a doctor. He talked about getting her pregnant. But Karpov told him to remove her ovaries, which would sterilize her. I don't know which one they did to her if either." Bucky's tone made it very clear that his lack of knowledge in this area bothered him.

"And I was there when she was put under. Only Karpov and I knew where her cryo chamber was. Unless he used her for his own personal reasons between then and now, she's been on ice since '91," Bucky finished.

Steve sat there in stunned silence, trying to absorb all he had just been told.

"Do you think she's gonna be alright? Or will she be comatose forever?" Bucky asked anxiously.

"I think she's fine. I slept for a few days after coming out of the ice," Steve replied with far more confidence than he truly had on the issue.

Relief flooded Bucky's face but was soon replaced with worry. "What if she is pregnant?"

Steve knew he could not pretend his way out of this question. "I don't know, Buck. Whether she's pregnant or not and whether this possible baby is still alive or not, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that she's taken care of regardless."

"Thank you," Bucky said softly. "She was just a kid when I pulled her into all of this. I made her into the same monster they made me..."

"Buck, you had no control over that, and even if you had, they would have sent someone else to grab her or had you get another girl. We can't change what happened in the past. All we can do now is make sure we help her in every way we can," Steve explained gently.

Bucky nodded solemnly. "What's the plan?"

"We need to find somewhere safe to hide out. Sam, Clint, Wanda, and Scott are most likely in custody, and we're the world's most wanted fugitives. I'm going to reach out to some contacts of mine to see what they know," Steve replied.

"What about Natasha?" Bucky asked.

Steve chuckled. "They would only have Nat if she wanted them to have her. Plus, she signed the Accords. Since T'Challa learned the truth, I doubt he will be reporting what she did to him so we could escape."

The pair finished breakfast in silence until Steve stood up and announced, "We've got a lot ahead of us today."

~

"Not exactly first class," Bucky commented as he walked into the apartment Steve had found.

"I didn't know it needed to be," Steve replied from behind him.

Bucky turned around and raised an eyebrow. "My place in Bucharest was better than this dump."

"It's off the radar and within our budget, which is pretty much nothing."

"Why here, though?" Bucky questioned.

"Ukraine and the US don't have an extradition treaty, plus there's Ukraine's status with the UN. With all the unrest regarding Crimea, looking for us is not a national priority. And there's the fact that Odessa speaks predominantly Russian, and you know the city. I did my research, Buck. This is the best place for us right now," Steve concluded.

Bucky gave a resigned shrug.

"The Quinjet is well hidden. We have a place to stay. Our few belongings are here. Now, we need to secure her." Steve motioned to the unconscious girl he held in his arms.

Bucky's voice broke as he said, "Steve, tell me you're not going to lock her up."

"She might be combative when she wakes up. I just want to make sure that we're all safe when she comes to," Steve tried to assure him.

"She was handled like this by HYDRA," Bucky argued. "If we treat her the same way, how will she know that we are any different than them? If we don't trust her, how can she trust us?"

"Neither of us are in top shape right now. You told me yourself that she can overpower you at your best. We have to be smart about this," Steve countered before laying the girl down on the floor. "I'll be back soon. Keep an eye on her, will you?"

Bucky sighed angrily as the door shut behind his best friend.

How could Steve not see what was best for her?

With nothing but time and solitude ahead, Bucky allowed himself to study the girl. Even unconscious and in the ugly cryosuit and muzzle, she was beautiful. The steady rise and fall of her chest comforted him. Bucky felt if he quit watching her breath she would stop doing it entirely. The thought of her not waking up hurt him too much to even think about.

"Please don't die," he whispered to her.

Almost as if she had heard him, she groaned slightly and stirred.

~

Slowly opening my eyes, I blinked a few times, trying to pull my surroundings into focus. I seemed to be lying on the floor.

Someone else was there with me.

A man.

Zimniy Soldat.

Rushing to my feet, I prepared myself to fight him. A closer look showed that he had recently been injured. His face had several cuts and bruises, plus his metal arm appeared to be missing. None of this mattered, though. He was my enemy, and my mission was to defeat him.

I landed a swift punch with my right, followed immediately by my left. He managed to block the second one, but poorly.

"пожалуйста, я не хочу драться с тобой," the Soldat said. ["Please, I don’t want to fight you."]

My response to his mind games was three sharp uppercuts into his gut.

Despite that, he managed to gasp out, "ты знаешь меня." ["You know me."]

Driving my knee into his crotch and simultaneously slamming my metal elbow into his throat, I displayed my anger at his words.

"я не сделаю тебе больно," he moaned. ["I’m not going to hurt you."]

I jumped up and used both my feet to kick him squarely in the chest. The air was knocked out of his lungs as he fell back. To make sure he stayed down and I did not lose my advantageous position, I got on top of him and straddled my legs over his torso. Grabbing his clothing with my left hand, I repeatedly pounded his face with my metal fist. The Soldat coughed up a mouthful of blood and looked up at me with fear and sadness in his blue eyes. I continued beating him until he lost consciousness.

"Bucky!?"

I turned my head around to see a tall, muscular, blond man behind me. He pulled out a gun and shot me repeatedly.

"I'm sorry," he said with a sad grimace.

Pain tore through my body, and then everything went dark.

~

Steve rushed over to his best friend. Rolling the girl's limp body off of Bucky revealed his bloody and bashed face.

"Buck." Steve gently shook his right shoulder. "Buck!" The second shake was less gentle.

Bucky opened his eyes slowly as if even that small movement was painful.

Steve gave a small smile, but concern was still deeply etched on his face.

Unable to fight against the powerful pull of drowsiness, Bucky's eyelids slid close.

"Hey! Talk to me!" Steve said in a loud, panicky voice.

A startled pair of blue eyes stared back at Steve. After a moment, Bucky asked, "Where is she?"

"She shouldn't be causing any more problems for a while," replied Steve vaguely.

"What did you do?" Bucky breathed softly.

"Administered a sedative."

Bucky hesitated. "What?"

"I put her back to sleep," Steve clarified.

"You drugged her?!"

"All I did was pull the trigger. The dart gave it to her."

Indignant, Bucky asked, "You used a tranq gun on her?!"

"I had it just in case things went off the rails!" Steve defended himself.

"She finally wakes up, and you put her back to sleep!?" growled Bucky.

"She would have killed you!" Steve retorted.

Anger twisted Bucky's face. "You don't know that! What's next? If I act a little crazy, are you going to shoot me?"

"Of course not!"

"Why? Because I only have one arm? Because I'm not a threat to you anymore?" Bucky raged.

"Because you're my friend," Steve said softly. "You're my best friend, Buck."

"You're my best friend, too," Bucky whispered. "Treat her like she is your friend too."

"We hardly know anything about her," remarked Steve.

"I know." Bucky paused. "But we are the only friends she's got right now."

Steve nodded understandingly.

"It's a good thing you brought the first aid kit with us from the Quinjet," Bucky said half jokingly as Steve carefully helped him sit up.

"You're just lucky you don't need stitches," Steve informed him.

Bucky quipped, "Maybe next time."

"I hope you're not going to make a regular habit of getting beat within an inch of your life," Steve teased as he began cleaning his friend's bleeding face.

"If I recall correctly, that was your pastime back in Brooklyn, not mine," Bucky replied sassily.

Steve laughed and finished fixing up Bucky's wounds before a thick veil of silence fell between the two friends for several minutes.

With a voice full of concern, Bucky said, "You do realize there are things she is going to need now that she is awake, right?"

"Like what?" Steve asked absent-mindedly.

"Well, I don't have any clothes or toiletries for her."

"I grabbed Natasha's backup outfit when we packed up the emergency clothes from the Quinjet."

Bucky commented, "That's a start. There are a lot more things she is going to need, though."

Steve pulled out a pen and piece of paper and wrote down toothbrush and toothpaste.

"How about a hairbrush?" Bucky suggested.

Steve scribbled it down along with shampoo.

Bucky added, "Probably needs conditioner, too."

Conditioner and soap joined the list.

"Lotion and lip balm?" Bucky requested.

Steve shot a questioning stare at him.

"What? I noticed her skin was dry. Siberia isn't the kindest place to stay," Bucky explained himself.

After raising an eyebrow, Steve put down the desired items. He also wrote razor but then scratched through it.

"On second thought, giving her that might not be the best idea," he said aloud.

"I think that's good enough for now," Steve remarked as he put the list away. "She is probably going to wake up soon."

"What are you going to do to her?" Bucky faltered.

"Restrain her in about the same way as Sam and I did you in Vienna. She's going to be okay, Buck," Steve assured him as he picked up the girl.

Steve laid her down again. "Almost forgot, this is for you." Steve handed Bucky a flip cell phone.

"Already has my number in it. I'll call you when she wakes up," Steve promised.

As the door closed behind Steve and the girl, Bucky stared at the phone and wished it would already ring.

~

I opened my eyes to a tall, muscular, blond man with broad shoulders sitting before me. He wore jeans and a blue shirt with a black jacket over top. I felt like I had seen him before.

"Hey!" His face lit up, and he seemed pleased that I was awake. He then introduced himself, saying, "My name is Steve Rogers. What's your name?"

I stared back at him blankly.

"It's okay if you don't know the answer." He smiled comfortingly.

I made no response.

"I'm here to help you." His face was soft, and his eyes kind, but they were likely not genuine or trustworthy.

"Do you understand English?" Steve asked. "Maybe you only know Russian?"

When I did not answer, he pulled out a device and looked worried as he spoke into it. "She's awake."

"How is she?" a muffled voice asked anxiously.

"She looks alright. I've tried talking to her in English, but she doesn't seem to understand..." Steve's voice trailed off.

"So you want me to come over and speak Russian with her?"

"No, not really."

"Why not?"

Steve clenched his jaw tightly together. "The last time she saw you, she nearly killed you. That's not a chance I'm willing to take."

"This is my choice, not yours. Besides, unless you speak Russian, how else are we going to find out if she understands it?"

Steve's facial expression showed that he knew that whoever was on the other side of the device was right, but he was still not happy about it. "Okay. I'll text you directions. See you in a few."

While Steve was typing away at his device, I began to analyze my surroundings. It was some kind of abandoned industrial building. My metal arm was held tightly in a huge piece of machinery that smelled of fish, and I sat on an old wooden slat crate. After a few attempts to pull my limb free, I realized it was futile.

Several minutes later a man with shoulder length brown hair came in. This man was missing his left arm. He wore jeans and a maroon shirt with a flannel on top, which were all a little too small for him. I knew him. From the shape of his face to the lilt of his voice to the way he moved, I knew him.

"Меня зовут Баки. Баки Барнс," he introduced himself with a sad smile. ["My name is Bucky. Bucky Barnes."]

I did not know him by this name. So he is using an alias, a wise decision on his part.

"Я знаю, ты умеешь говорить." ["I know you can speak."]

My silence challenged his claim.

He leaned in closer to me. "Я знаю, ты тоже знаешь английский." ["I know you know English too."]

The fact that he knew both of the languages I spoke disturbed me, but I did not give him the pleasure of seeing my discomfort.

"Вы помните меня?" he asked inquisitively. ["Do you remember me?"]

I wondered what angle he was trying to work by, seeing if I remembered him.

"Тебе сложно вспомнить, не так ли? Это просто кусочки и кусочки, разбросанные тут и там, и вы не знаете, что реально, а что нет?" ["It's hard for you to remember, isn't it? They are just bits and pieces scattered here and there, and you don't know what is real and what is not."]

I questioned whether or not this man could actually read my thoughts.

"Плохие люди сделали тебе плохие вещи. Ты помнишь это?" ["Bad people did bad things to you. Do you remember that?"]

Grimacing, I tried to get rid of the horrible images that came into my mind.

His voice broke with emotion when he said, "Те же самые плохие люди сделали и со мной плохие вещи. Они забрали мою память и заставили делать плохие поступки." Tears ran down his face. ["Those same bad people did bad things to me, too. They took away my memory and made me do bad things."]

Removing the long sleeve of the flannel from his left shoulder and pushing up the shirt's sleeve showed what was left of a metal arm just like mine. It even bore the same blood-red star.

"Они сделали это с нами обоими. Мы такие же, как я и ты." ["They did this to both of us. We are the same, you and me."]

His sad blue eyes met my own. "Я с тобой честен. Можешь быть со мной честным." ["I'm being honest with you. You can be honest with me."]

Somehow, I believed him.

Gently, he asked, "Как твое имя?" ["What's your name?"]

"Меня звали Солдат," I told him soberly. ["They called me Soldat."]

"She doesn't even know her own name. When I asked her, she said it was Soldat. All she remembers being called is 'Soldier,'" Bucky told Steve.

"We can't call her that. She needs a name," Steve replied.

Bucky countered, "We can't just give her a name either. She's a person and already has one."

"How about a nickname then?" Steve suggested.

"Doll would work and she could use Dolly if she has to give her name," Bucky offered.

Steve agreed. "That's fine by me."

"Мы достаточно долго продержали эту шараду, не так ли? Я знаю, он хотел бы понять, о чем мы говорим," Bucky said as he motioned to Steve. ["We've kept this charade going long enough, don't you think? I know he would like to understand what we're saying."]

"Отлично," I conceded. ["Fine."]

Bucky turned to Steve. "She knows English, apparently."

Steve frowned at me and then said, "Doll, you need to know some things before we let you out."

"You are a fugitive. If you go outside, you will be spotted and reported to the authorities. Every law enforcement agency in the world is looking for you and has orders to kill you on sight by any means necessary," Bucky disclosed.

"How do I know you aren't law enforcement?" I asked Steve pointedly.

He replied, "We're international fugitives."

"Ah. So you will turn me in to gain your own pardons. Smart."

"No, it's complicated," Bucky answered.

Sarcastically, I said, "Don't tell me. You're all innocent, right?"

"There was a disaster. Because we were not able to save everyone, people died. So, the United Nations drew up a document to prevent another such tragedy from happening. Only in doing so, they took away our rights as human beings and our freedom of choice. We chose not to sign the document. A lot of people weren't too happy about that and now here we are," Steve explained.

"Nice story. I need proof," I said skeptically.

Steve handed me a newspaper with the heading "КАПИТАН АМЕРИКА ОТКАЗЫВАЕТСЯ ПОДПИСАТЬ ДОГОВОРЫ СОКОВИИ И ТЕПЕРЬ НЕУДАЧА" and a picture of Steve on the front. ["CAPTAIN AMERICA REFUSES TO SIGN SOKOVIA ACCORDS AND IS NOW A FUGITIVE"]

"Captain America? The World War II hero?"

Steve smiled. "Yes, that's me. Steve Rogers."

"That's impossible. He's dead," I stated matter-of-factly.

"Well, not exactly," he chuckled. "I was in the ice for almost 70 years and didn't die because of the Super Soldier Serum."

"That can't be true," I remarked incredulously.

"You can look it up for yourself later, Doll. He's telling the truth," Bucky reassured me.

"There is also some personal incentive for you to stay with us. A king is going to contact us and extract us," Steve announced.

"What king?"

Steve said, "His name is T'Challa, and he is the King of Wakanda."

"Then why don't I recognize the name or nation of this said 'king'?" I asked dubiously.

"He just became king. His father, King T'Chaka, was killed in a terrorist bombing three days ago," Bucky explained.

"Hmm. Tell me about Whaka-na-da."

"It's a small, landlocked, third-world, isolationist, African kingdom. Landscape is mountains and dense forest. People are shepherds and farmers. Known for its textiles and cool outfits," Steve informed me.

"Perfect," I muttered.

"At least that's what they want the world to believe. We have reasons to believe that they have something incredible that they are not telling us about," Steve added.

"So I'm just supposed to take my chances with a pair of international fugitives and the promise of an African king whose nation is impoverished?"

The duo nodded.

"I don't like those odds, but there are also not many offers on the table." I sighed. "I'm in."

Steve came over and released my metal arm from the piece of machinery. Freedom tasted so sweet, but it was not long-lived.

"You need to get in there so we can safely get you back to our apartment," Steve told me as he pointed to a large black bag.

I reluctantly climbed into the duffle bag and watched Steve and Bucky disappear from view as it was zipped closed.

To say the duffle was cramped and stuffy would be beyond an understatement. I could not move at all, and every breath I exhaled only added to the rising temperature and increasing staleness of the air around me.

There was also the fact that I could see practically nothing. Steve could drop me at any minute without warning, and there would be nothing I could do to anticipate or break my fall. I was extremely vulnerable and completely at the mercy of these two men right now.

We proceeded quietly for several minutes before Bucky's voice broke the silence. "What about all those things on your list?"

List? What list? What is he talking about?

"Shoot! I forgot about that! Do you think that you can take her back while I go get this stuff?" Steve asked.

My mind reeled as to what the "list" and "all those things" could possibly be.

Bucky agreed. "Sure."

"Here are the keys," Steve offered, and a light jingle followed his words.

Steve then set me on the ground, and Bucky put the duffle's strap over his good shoulder and lifted me off the ground.

"Be back soon!" Steve said as we started moving again.

Bucky walked differently than Steve did. He balanced my weight against his right hip instead of slinging me diagonally across his back. I felt safer with him carrying me, which was completely ridiculous. He only has one arm, so logically, I should feel less safe with him carrying me. It was almost like Bucky could feel my pain, and he quickened his pace so as to end my suffering sooner.

We must have climbed several flights of stairs because his gait morphed into a rhythmic upward motion a few minutes later.

I heard him fumble to get the keys out of his pocket and unlock something. The creak of what sounded like a door followed behind it. We walked a short way before the creak happened again followed by two very different sounding clicks.

I was set on the ground again. Bucky unzipped me from my prison. I sat up and took in a long, deep breath of fresh air before getting to my feet.

A quick survey of my surroundings showed it to be a run-down apartment. There were two doors and a couple of dirty windows. A few bags were over in one of the corners, but otherwise, the place was bare.

I turned to Bucky. "So Steve is 'Captain America,' but who are you?"

"A friend," he replied softly.

I frowned. "That's vague. What's your story, Bucky?"

He laughed nervously. "My story. I don't think you want to hear about all of that, Doll."

"I want to hear it."

"Trust me, you don't want to hear it right now," Bucky told me.

"Yes, I do," I insisted.

"Okay," he said with a resigned sigh. "I was born on March 10th, 1917, in Brooklyn, New York. Met Steve and we became best friends as kids. Joined the Army in 1941 and fought in World War II until I was captured by HYDRA and experimented on. You know how Steve was also experimented on, and fortunately, he came and saved me. Steve and some of our friends and I ended up making this group called the Howling Commandos and we fought against HYDRA and the Nazis. On February 1st, 1945, we were on a mission, and I ended up falling off of a train into the river gorge below. Everyone thought I was dead. But I survived the fall because of the experiments HYDRA had done on me. Or most of me survived; I lost my left arm. HYDRA found me and gave me a metal arm just like yours. They brainwashed me, and I became their puppet. I did whatever they wanted me to do. After every mission, they would freeze me until they needed me again. I was theirs for almost 70 years. Two years ago, they sent me to kill Steve, and I almost did. But seeing Steve triggered my memory and broke the brainwashing. I've been hiding for the past two years trying to get all of my memory back until Steve found me and everything went down."

I stood there dumbfounded, trying to take in everything he had just told me. "uhh....wow...."

The poor man looked down at the floor anxiously.

Suddenly, a thought crossed my mind. "Bucky, do you know my story?"

He looked up at me with pain on his face. "I know part of it."

I nodded slowly to encourage him to go on.

"HYDRA used you to test an experimental form of the Super Soldier Serum. They gave you the metal arm and brainwashed you. Eventually, they made us fight each other. Do you remember that?" Bucky asked gently. "Do you remember me?"

I knew what he was telling me was the truth, but it felt like there was more.

"Not really," I confessed. For a moment, my eyes met with his. "But I want to remember you."

Bucky turned away from me like I had slapped him. An awkward silence took hold of the apartment until my stomach growled.

Having been given the chance to try and change the subject, I ran with it. "Do you have any food? I'm starving."

He pointed to the bags in the corner. "There's apples, peanut butter, and bread in that top backpack. Help yourself."

Rummaging through the bag, I found the desired items. I did not realize how hungry I was until I started to eat.

A knock at one of the doors made me jump a few minutes later.

Bucky went over to answer it. "Это кто?" ["Who is it?"]

Steve's voice called out from the other side of the door, "Buck, it's me."

Bucky unlocked the door, and Steve came in with two plastic bags on his arms.

"How was shopping?" asked Bucky.

"Alright."

"Well, I think you're going to need to go to the store again tomorrow because Doll has done a number on our food supply," Bucky informed Steve.

I grinned sheepishly and stopped eating. What had been a partial loaf of bread was now completely gone, along with three apples and a good deal of peanut butter. I was not full, but at least I was not as hungry as I had been before.

Even though doing something as exposed as taking a shower is probably not advisable when you are staying in a strange place with two men you hardly know, I felt so gross that I did not care about the risks.

"I want a shower," I informed the boys.

Steve handed me the two plastic bags and gave me a towel and a wad of clothes from the bags in the corner.

"That should be everything you need," he told me.

"Thanks. Where's the bathroom?" I asked. Steve and Bucky pointed to the other door.

Before I got to set my things down in the bathroom, the lights flickered and then cut off. I readied myself for an attack. Yet Steve and Bucky both seemed calm in the darkness.

"The power here really does suck," Steve laughed.

"Hold on, I have an idea," Bucky offered from the other room. He entered the bathroom with a lit candle.

"It's not great, but you should be able to see enough to shower." Bucky set it on the high built-in ledge at the far end from the shower head.

"I'll leave you alone now," he said, closing the door behind himself.

I turned the lock on the flimsy door even though I knew it would not do much if someone really wanted in.

Peeking in the plastic bags showed a toothbrush, a tube of toothpaste, a hairbrush, a bottle of shampoo, a bottle of conditioner, a bar of soap, a bottle of lotion, and a lip balm. So these were the "things" they had been talking about.

My clothes were soon in a pile on the floor. My blonde hair was greasy and matted. I should probably be thankful that I can not see myself well in the cracked mirror above the chipped sink.

Turning the tap on, I tried to recall the last time I had bathed aside from the bloody shower that I could not forget, but nothing came to mind.

I grabbed the shampoo, the conditioner, and the bar of soap before stepping into the shower. The water was colder than I would have liked, but I made do with it.

As the water ran over my perfectly formed muscles, I had the strange feeling that my body had not always been like this. Uncomfortable with this thought, I tried to think of something else.

The candle Bucky had brought me was just a plain emergency candle. There was nothing special about it, but the gesture of him getting it for me made me feel special.

The drops of water on my skin sparkled like diamonds as the flame danced about. It was beautiful in a strange way. Water intermixing with fire. I watched the ring of wax around the wick grow as time went by.

I squeezed a bit of shampoo into my hand and rubbed it on my head. Scratching my scalp, I lathered up my hair. After rinsing out the suds, I worked a squirt of conditioner from my tips up to my roots.

Since I had no washcloth, I ran the bar of soap over my body. It had a light, clean scent that I could not quite identify.

I rinsed the soap off of my skin and the conditioner out of my hair. My skin was left smooth, and my hair felt like silk.

After turning off the water, I stepped out of the shower and put the candle on the sink.

Not wanting to be naked outside of the shower any longer than I had to, I patted myself quickly with the towel and pulled the clothes over my still-damp skin. The tight-fitting black tank top and comfortable grey sweatsuit were short on me. Whoever's clothes these were was also bigger chested than me, but a large bra was better than no bra at all.

I put the towel over my hair and twisted it up onto my head. After brushing my teeth, I put some lip balm on my chapped lips and exited the bathroom with the candle in hand.

I found Steve and Bucky both lying on blankets on the floor.

"It's been a long day for us. We're going to bed," Steve said sleepily.

I whispered, "Good night."

An extra blanket was spread next to Bucky. I put the candle down next to the blanket and lay down. I could feel the cheap, uneven, wood-like floorboards through the thin blanket. Trying to get more comfortable, I made the wet towel and my hair into a little pillow. I blew out the candle and closed my eyes, but I already knew I would not be able to sleep.

[sodobabe]

You're my mate (pt 4.)

Summary: A scuffle between two ghouls leaves you fearful of your new mate. After being consoled, you and the rest of the ghouls arrive to the Abbey to start your new life. Everything was going to be alright.

A/N: Alright. Here's the finale because I don't think I can do anything else with this story line. I had so much fun writing this. I hope you all enjoy.

Warnings: Angst. Fight between Aether and Dew. Mention of panic attack. Fluffy Aether after fight with Dew.

You were woken up by yet more banging on the door. Swiss and Aether were practically dead to the world as they were both snoring away. You realized they had not trapped you in like they normally do so you made your way out of bed to go see who was knocking so damn loud.  

You wrapped yourself in a blanket and mosied your way over to the door. As you went to open it, the culprit started beating on it once more. It was a furious Dew, followed by a sleepy Mountain. 

“Where the fuck is he,” Dew spat at you.

“First of all, you’re not going to come into our room screaming at me. Second of all, who the hell are you looking for and what did they do?” you snapped back at him as he pushed his way in.

“Good morning, Mountain,” you said as you chased after Dew.

“Aether, wake the fuck up, we have a problem,” Dew practically screamed.

Aether was startled out of his sleep and his demeanor changed.

“What the fuck do you want Dew. We were sleeping. What could possibly be the fucking issue?” Aether said as he stood up out of the bed.

“You fucking mated with them?! We swore we would never mate! How could you do this to me,” Dew screamed, tears following.

You had no clue what the hell was going on, all you knew was that the way Aether was carrying himself made you uncomfortable. 

“You know we can’t fucking control it,” Aether yelled as he pushed Dew back a few steps. 

You couldn’t stand here and watch what was about to go down. Your anxiety was starting to kick in again and you did the only thing you knew how to do. You ran. Fast. Until you couldn’t run anymore. You ran out of the hotel, through the parking lot and down the street until you found a place to sit in peace.

Back in the hotel room, Aether and Dew were at each other’s throats. Swiss and Mountain were trying to hold them back but both were stronger than the multi and earth ghouls. 

“I couldn’t help it, Dew!” Aether said, trying to claw at Dew’s throat. 

He hadn’t yet realized that you bolted.

“I thought she was just going to be a quick fuck since you haven’t been laid in forever. Now I find out that she’s yours for eternity. What about me, Aether?” Dew said, tears streaming down his face out of betrayal and anger.

“What about you Dew? We are best friends and I was hoping you’d be a little bit more supportive of the fact that I found a mate, even if I didn’t think I wanted to,” Aether said, trying to calm himself down.

“I’m sorry it happened this way but you know damn well we cannot control if and when we mate. Now, if you don’t mind, I would appreciate your support rather than the fear of you trying to kill me or even worse (Y/N),” Aether said as Swiss released him. 

“Guess your mate doesn’t mean that much to you, seeing as you didn’t even realize they took off,” Dew spat one last insult at Aether before relaxing against Mountain. 

“Fuck!” Aether screamed as he changed into his glamor to go searching for you. 

Aether bolted through the door to your room, Swiss not far behind. 

“Aeth, they probably need space right now buddy,” Swiss called out to Aether.

“No. I can’t let them be alone. They’ll have a panic attack and I won’t be able to help and I have to help. I have to find them. If you want to help me, fantastic, if not, respectfully fuck off,” Aether spat at Swiss.

Swiss didn’t seem to take offense to the words coming from Aether as he quickly caught up with the quintessential ghoul and helped him search for you. 

You sat with your back to a tree, still wrapped in a blanket. Your mind was fuzzy and all you could think about was how Aether looked and acted when he was mad. Is that how he would act if he ever got mad at you? You couldn’t stop the tears. You slowly started to lose your breath no matter how hard you tried to hold on to it. 

Aether could smell you. His nose was like a bloodhound. He and Swiss were quickly approaching your location. You didn’t want to see either of them but you knew they would not leave you alone.

“Peach, what the fuck?” Swiss exclaimed as Aether bolted toward you. 

Aether’s demeanor had changed back to what you knew. The comfortable, caring Aether. 

“Don’t fucking call me that,” you spat at Swiss.

He stopped dead in his tracks and just stood there as Aether approached you.

Great now you’ve pissed off the only other ghoul you knew that cared about you. 

“(Y/N), honey, what happened?” Aether asked as he slowed his pace and gently approached you.

“I- I got scared,” you said, the tears in your eyes picking up speed as they rolled down your cheeks.

“Of me?” Aether spoke softly with hurt in his voice.

You nodded as you tucked your face into your knees that were pulled tightly to your chest.

“Why were you afraid of me, peach?” he asked as he sat down next to you, unsure as to whether or not he should touch you.

“You got so angry, so quick. All I could think about was how you would be if I ever made you mad,” you sobbed.

“Peach, that wasn’t just anger. That was also protection. I had to show my dominance for Dew to know not to hurt you,” he said, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, causing you to flinch. 

“Hey, peach, it’s okay. I will never ever show that side of myself again if you are in the room,” he said as his thumb ran over your shoulder blade. 

“Even if it means I get my ass kicked by Dew,” he continued. 

You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his. You could tell he was hurt by the way you responded to the situation. You knew he would never hurt you. You were crushed.

As a panic attack set in, your world started to fade.

“Aether, I’m so sorry for running. I’m so so sorry. I didn’t know I was the one hurting you. I was just scared and now we’re here and I can’t breathe and I’m numb and-” you were cut off by Aether

“Peach, do not apologize for your instincts. I don’t know what happened in your past to make you react that way. It’s not my place to prod but you are safe as long as you are with me. I will give my eternal life for you (Y/N),” he said as he pulled you to him.

“Now let’s head back to the hotel. The bus leaves in a few hours to head back to the Abbey and we need to get ready,” he said as he motioned Swiss to come over.

“(Y/N)?” Swiss sounded even more hurt than Aether.

“Swiss I’m so sorry I snapped at you. I was scared and didn’t know how to react. I’m so sorry. You can call me peach. I don’t care. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did,” you blurted out as more tears poured out of your aching eyes.

Swiss knelt down next to you, looked at Aether who gave him a nod, then kissed your forehead.

“Peach, we all have different reactions to things. I understand you were scared. I don’t hold grudges. Now, we really should be getting back to the hotel before the bus leaves without us,” he said as he stood back up.

You nodded as Aether stood up beside you. You went to get up but were swept off your feet by your ghoul and carried back to the hotel.

“Wait, did you say the bus was taking us back to the Abbey? I thought you all had one more show,” you questioned as Aether stepped into the elevator.

“It got canceled, baby,” he said as he hit the button for the floor you were staying on.

The three of you walked back to the room. Aether set you down on the bed as he handed you your clothes that he had washed for you. He packed up his bag as Swiss left to go grab his things.

“Here, peach, let me help you get dressed,” he said as he stood you up from the bed. 

He slipped on your shirt but couldn’t seem to get your pants back on. Maybe they shrunk or maybe you were just sweaty from the run you just took.

“I have a pair of sweatpants you can wear but they might be too big,” he said as he dug through his bag.

“That’s okay, I’ll still wear them,” you reassured. 

He turned around, sweatpants in hand, and helped you into them. Swiss returned to the room with his stuff and the three of you sat in the bed until it was time to leave. 

________________________________________________________________

By the time the buses were ready to leave, it was dark outside and you were growing sleepier by the second again. You had to get used to the activity and the sleep schedule of your ghoul. Aether helped you onto the bus and pulled you into his lap as the two of you sat on the couch next to Swiss. 

Dew and Mountain approached the bus with Rain right behind them. 

“(Y/N), I’m sorry about earlier,” Dew said as Aethers hand tightened on your thigh. 

“I don’t know what promises you all made to each other but please do not act that way toward me. You will regret it,” you said in a stern voice.

Dew nodded his head before joining Mountain and Rain on the opposite couch. 

The bus started up and before you knew it, you were off. 

The bus ride was quiet, other than the occasional snore from the ghouls. You and Aether were the only ones awake but he was oddly quiet. 

“Aeth, what’s wrong, love?” you asked as you caressed his cheek. 

He turned to look at you and that’s when you noticed the tears in his eyes.

“I- I just don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to scare you off and lose the love of my life forever,” he said as he gently sobbed.

“Oh Aether. I’m not going anywhere. My life is here with you. Only you. Unless you choose to share me with the others. I promise I am not going anywhere,” you reassured him before pulling him into a gentle kiss. 

He nuzzled his face into your neck and let out a slight pur. Before you knew it, the bus was pulling up to the Abbey and you had to wake your sleeping ghoul. 

“Aeth, baby. We are here,” you said as you gently squeezed his arm.

He opened his eyes and let out a big cat-like stretch accompanied by a yawn. The bus pulled into the loop and you were in awe of the beautiful cathedral-like building that was before you. The other ghouls started to wake, all stretching and yawning before getting up and collecting their belongings. You stood up so that Aether could have the chance to stretch his legs before ushering you off of the bus. It was late, all of the siblings were in bed so you didn’t have to worry about being bombarded by people. 

Aether took your hand and guided you into the dark, cold building. The temperature was going to take some getting used to. He guided you down a long hallway to a door that had his name plastered above it. 

“Here we are, peach,” he said as he opened the door.

His room was inviting. HIs blankets and pillows created a big nest in the corner. He had guitars hung on his wall accompanied by the soft glow of LED lights that were a light blue color. You entered the room and felt at peace. Aether walked over to his closet and pulled out a t-shirt that could fit you like a dress. 

“Here, your clothes aren’t very comfy so you can wear my shirts until we can go out shopping for clothes for you,” he said as he handed you the shirt.

You did not hesitate. You stripped out of your current clothing situation and slipped the oversized t-shirt on. It came down to your knees which caused a laugh to be drawn from Aether. 

“Come on, peach. Let’s settle in for the night, just the two of us,” he said as he guided you to the nest. 

You fell comfortably into the pile of blankets. Aether was on his back again and you took the opportunity to place your head on his chest. You could stay like this forever. You were going to stay like this forever.

“I love you, peach,” he said as he clung on to you for dear life.

“I love you too, Aeth,” you said as you embraced your ghoul.

“Forever and always. You’re my mate,” he said before closing his eyes and drifting back to sleep. 

“Forever and always. I’m your mate,” you replied as you followed him into the dream land.

[pbandjesse]

I did not enjoy my day as much as I had hoped. It was all out of sorts. It would be okay in the end but I did not get as much done as I had hoped and was just kind of bummed about it because so much wasn't working out.

The problems really started because I slept terribly. Firstly I couldn't get comfortable. Then I was coughing again. Then it was really loud outside with cars and trucks. I was awake more then I was asleep and it was not fun.

When I woke up James was out already. They made a final run to the apartment to get all the trash and take it to the dump. I got up and got dressed and made the bed. And was sitting in my chair in the studio when James got back.

James would make me a little sandwich for breakfast and they had French toast. I had made a list for Home Depot and would measure a few things just so I would know what we needed and wouldn't panic when we got there.

We would leave the house and headed there soon after we ate. And it was pretty good except the store was really busy. Lots of contractors and they were doing inventory and it was just a little chaotic. But the lady at the paint counter was nice. And James went to get us a cart while I got the paint.

After we ordered the paint we would start checking off the rest of the list. We found the paint rollers and got the tape. A pack of screws and anchors. And went to the molding section to look at the paneling.

James voted on the larger shiplap style and those came in 8x4 foot panels. We had decided on 6 foot so we would go and have them cut that down. While James worked with the nice man to do that I would go look at screen doors so we can have a better idea of that as the weather gets nicer.

We paid and it was expensive but not as expensive as I had thought. So that was good. But then we ran into an issue. The panels did not fit in the car in either direction. Everything else was fine. The shelves and brackets. The paint. It was just the panels. James was a bit panicked which makes me really frustrated because like while this sucked it was a fixable problem. They rent trucks. I would drive home and drop things off. James would go investigate a truck.

Sadly they had no trucks available so we needed to get a U-Haul instead which would take slightly longer. I went home and got everything inside and went right back to home depot. I had been a little upset when I had first left the store because my GPS tried to take me to the apartment and not the house despite changing the home button weeks ago. But it didn't take as long to get back and everything would be fine.

We would switch. James had been sitting on the cart. Now I would sit on the cart. And James would go and get the van. This took slightly longer then I hoped because the address they had was wrong. But it was fine. I had grabbed my water and my headphones and listened to a video and scrolled on Tumblr and enjoyed sitting outside. It wasn't as pretty as yesterday but it was still nice.

When James got back we loaded up the van and headed home. And then back out to get our car.

I thought we would bail on our other errands but James said we should still go to target. So that is what we did.

We went to target and exchanged our CO2 and got more syrup and kitty litter. Next we went to the post office to get a package. Which took forever and I was getting upset sitting in the car. It was a lot later then I was hoping. I was hungry. I was to hot in the car. I was very unhappy. I told James I felt like the world was ending. Everything felt wrong.

I asked to please get chipotle for lunch. I needed to eat something substantial. So that is what we did.

I was very happy to get food and to go home. It was about 140 and we would need to leave at 230 of my appointment. So nothing else was going to get accomplished. I just sat on the couch and ate half my bowl and most of my chips and would slowly start to feel better.

We would leave here after moving some furniture around to get ready for hanging the paneling later on. I was glad we were going to do some of our project today.

We got to my appointment and I got to recount my er visit. And explained about the antibiotics and everything else. And so it was decided I would do the intense antibiotics for 10 days and I would come back for my injections on the 18th. A little frustrating but it's for the best. I shouldn't make my immune system more suppressed while I'm actively fighting being sick.

I really want this cough to stop. It's mostly gone during the day but then it comes back and it makes me feel like I'm dying. It's very scary.

We would come home and worked for the next couple hours on hanging the panels on the wall. We did not do it exactly the way I'm sure you are supposed to. We should have don't a counter sink so the screws we used are not visible. But I think I have a plan for covering them. I love how the wall looks. James would work very hard hanging the brackets and shelves. Which was a whole thing but looks so good. The shelves are just wood planks and are slightly warped so there is a little mismatching but I have a plan and I think in the end the whole thing is going to look great. I'm really excited.

Once that was done we would change the kitty litter. And James vacuumed. Both the bits of kitty litter and the saw dust in my studio from cutting the hole for the outlet they made in the panel.

James would gather all of our laundry to go to the laundry mat. And while they were gone I would have the rest of my chips and would work on some painting in the stairwell. While we had bought new rollers I guess I threw away the tray I had purchased because I cannot find it anywhere. Very frustrating. I'll go buy one tomorrow I guess. Or see if we have one at camp I can borrow. I would just use a brush for now, one that I am keeping in a ziplock bag so I don't have to clean it. It's coming together.

My breathing started to get worse and I came to sit down and have been writing this since. James got home a few minutes ago. They went and got my inhaler and it's not helping yet but I hope it does soon because I am very uncomfortable.

I think I will go take a shower soon. And try to sleep easier. I really hope it works.

Tomorrow at work I do not know what we are doing. Besides an afternoon meeting. But I am hoping it will be a good day.

Sleep well everyone. Be safe. I love you all. Goodnight.

[circus-complex]

Proud Immortal Demon Way | Chapter 1/?

Prev | Next | Chapter List

Rating: M (May change)

Warnings : Graphic Depictions of Violence (May change)

Catagory: Multi

Tags: Original Luò Bīnghé, Luo Binghe's Adoptive Mother, Other Character Tags to Be Added, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Luo Binghe, an orphan, has been abandoned time and time again throughout his life. Everyone seems to hate him, but he drags on through life. One day, he joins the number one cultivation sect in the world, Cang Qiong Mountain. Even there, his teacher and peers relentlessly bully him. Will Luo Binghe enact revenge, or will he be doomed to sit below others forever?

Also on AO3

Full Chapter Under Cut

On the coldest day that year, a small infant was swaddled with white cloth, tucked into a wicker basket, and lowered into the Luo river. The river was almost frozen, thin layers of ice dotting the surface. The basket drifted down the river, the newborn not even a day old. Luckily, a few old fishermen found the kid. They swiftly plucked him out of the water, afraid he would die. 

Since the baby had been found on the frozen river Luo, they named him Luo Binghe. The three men took care of him for a few years, filling in the role of parents. They sacrificed their own well being to raise him. Sadly, because they always worried about Luo Binghe’s health, they neglected their own. They passed away slowly, one after the other. This child, barely four years old, was forced to fend for himself on the streets. He could barely speak, only able to put simple sentences together, yet he had to sweet talk vendors into giving him food.

He spent two years learning how to steal and run, fight and defend. Both humans and dogs were out to get him. It was a miracle he wasn’t killed. He rarely slept nicely, having to keep one eye open at all times. He slept anywhere he could, as long as nothing would get to him. When things did get to him, he ran. He spent most of his early years running. But one day, he found a place to stop.

Luo Binghe awoke to something – someone – walking near him. He jolted upright, ready to fight. There was no way to run, they were blocking the exit out of the alley. He chose to sleep near the trash of a rich household so no one would see him  – clearly he was wrong. 

“Shh! No need to worry!” A soft voice drifted towards his ears. He lowered his hands, letting them fall to his sides. The speaker wasn’t another kid, but their voice wasn’t rough. “They’ll get mad if they catch you. Come with me.” 

Luo Binghe cautiously followed this strange figure. They didn’t harm him on sight, so there might be some hope. Sadly, he was used to others wanting to kill him. He was the smallest of the kids, so they decided having him around would only drain resources. He had been beaten every day for simply being in their line of sight. The adults always turned a blind eye, why would they bother paying attention to the little brats fighting over food? As long as they didn’t get in the way, it wasn’t an issue. 

Luo Binghe paused. “Jiejie, where are we?” They stood in front of a sad looking house. Scratch that, a shack. Its roof was caving in, and one of the windows was missing a panel. She smiled, and continued to walk towards her house.

“Sit, sit” She beckoned for Luo Binghe to sit on one of the small cushions. She then started heating water on the stove. “I’ve seen you around frequently. Do you not have a home to go to?”

Luo Binghe shook his head. “No”

“Where are your parents?”

“Dead”

“Any relatives?”

“No”

“When was the last time you ate?”

“Three days ago” 

“Have you had any water today?”

“Mn”

“Where did you get it from?” “I stole it from Wu Ming”

The woman sighed, but not at Luo Binghe. She sighed at the world. “Would you like some tea?” “Yes please” When the cup was placed in his hands, Luo Binghe looked at the woman as though she was a god. A gift from heaven. His guardian angel. “Thank you…”

“Wang Xiyan”

“Thank you Wang-jiejie'' He sipped from the cup slowly, and a slightly bitter liquid filled his mouth. It wasn’t something everyone would like, but Luo Binghe quite liked it. He also made a note to repay her later. He was determined to repay every person who showed him kindness, no matter how small the gesture. He was sure that they all deserved everything, since there weren’t many kind ones out there. 

Once he finished his tea, Luo Binghe stood up. He bowed, and turned to leave. 

“Where are you going?” 

Luo Binghe spun around, surprised at being addressed. “I was going to leave.”

“Oh! There's no need for that. You may stay if you would like.”

Luo Binghe stared at her. She smiled nervously, afraid that her sudden offer had scared him. “Uh, I can’t provide much for you, I’m a low level servant. However, I could give you a more stable source of food and water, as well as this small home to live in.”

Luo Binghe was shocked. He couldn’t remember a single time someone had cared for him. He slowly nodded, quietly saying, “Thank you…” over and over. He didn’t notice, but small tears had begun to leak from the corner of his eyes. Wang Xiyan walked over, using a small bit of cloth to wipe the moisture from his face. 

Luo Binghe had found a place to stay. Someone to care for him. A place where he could be a kid, not having to worry about surviving. He could sleep with both eyes closed. He wouldn’t need to attack anyone that came close to him. He could relax. He was safe. He was safe. He was safe…

[sticksbatnix]

If Only I Had A Brain

It wasn't like Stewart didn't know how to fight.

He did, it was just, by this point, he felt like he was losing.

With every step, he took he was punched down to the ground.

With every crawl, he was kicked down to the soil below.

And with every shout, he was kicked right into his mouth, teeth biting onto his tongue with a sharp hiss.

“Once a Joker, always a Joker, “the clown above chuckled, watching the teen below groan.

“You think you could just throw away the Joker name and dress up whatever you like to be someone else?”

Stewart opened his mouth but a boot smashed over it, all the other Jokerz laughed at his predicament. The blond looked all over his hideout, with what limited time he has, he tried his best to think about what to do next.

“Whatever happened to that ghoulish Ghoul everyone was telling me about, huh? The stick of the group, the chemical genius, the boy with mommy issues!”

The clown laughed again.

“Come on, Ghoul, why did you have to change into some freak in burlap?”

From the corner of his eye, something shined in the far corner of the musty room. Squinting away the tears, the older teen could see the outline of a weapon he failed to get once the group had barged in.

Luckily for him, he was kicked over toward the direction he put his main interest towards.

As soon as his body hit the ground he immediately crawled away, not too quickly as many would presume, but not too slow it’d be obvious.

With the Jokerz behind him, he didn't have much time left to think of anything else. His chemicals were left over at the far left, too far where he can't reach. Besides, they've already destroyed them beyond repair besides the occasional vile or two.

“Wasn’t there another Scarecrow before him, “asked another clown.

“Yeah, didn't she die in Arkham? Pecked alive by crows or something?”

“Thought one of the guards had enough of her.”

“Hey, I’d kill her too, she was annoying on tv as she was alive.”

Another round of laughter.

Almost there. Close enough. Right there!

“We have a purpose here, Ghoul, and so do you. You shouldn't throw it away on something long gone and dead. But as a Joker, he lives on forever, nothing could make him go away no matter what anyone does!”

Hard pressure was put on his ankle, he hissed yet reached his hand over toward what had shined before him. The clown above had put more pressure, any harder he would have broken him in no time.

“Besides, what's old Johnny got in store for us?”

His grip on his weapon tightened and his mind blanked for a few seconds, his entire body filled with rage.

He had turned himself over, perching himself up by his knees just in time to get himself out of the clown’s hold. Then he swings with much rage written all over his face.

The audacity of this man-no-clown to dare taint the name of an intelligent man! A brilliant man, a thinker, a true doctor, and so much more!

He didn't know what he was talking about.

And neither did the other Jokerz who saw their leader’s head lopsided and fall into the ground below. When one of them screamed was when Stewart ran over to his veils, running two of them and throwing them at the ground below the group. The reaction was immediate to the gas, soon grabbing onto his mask, he watched as the others succumbed to the gas’s effects.

Stewart walked over to the body, bending down slowly he grabbed onto the head that lay helplessly next to it.

Picking it up, he raised it to show the others who screamed at the horrors before them.

Whether or not they saw what was real or imagined, it didn't matter to Stewart any other way.

“I am neither Stewart Winthrop The Third nor Ghoul, the ghoulish Joker you all remember me by.”

The screams got louder, and everyone was on the ground with their hands over their ears and eyes as wide as saucers.

“I am The Scarecrow, “the criminal declared, “The Master of Fear.”

[ghostofaboy]

Rock Bottom - A Plan Going Forward

Summary: Frankie is spiraling after Tom’s death. Drugs lead to some unhealthy friendships, and too ashamed to reach out to his former teammates for help, Frankie is drawn into a world he’s afraid he can’t get out of.

Frankie confides in Tyler about his drug use.

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morale/Original Male Characters Rating: Explicit. Serious over 18s only Word count: 1064 Chapter: 9/?

Warnings: implied/referenced drug use, drug addiction, Self-esteem issues, angst, Frankie not coping, dubious consent

Note: This has not been beta read, so apologies for any mistakes. This is a fic with gay and bi characters. Please make sure you read the tags/warnings. Header by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Part 8 / Part 1 / Masterpost

After sitting in silence for what felt like forever, Frankie let out a long sigh. He’d known Gavin was using him because, of course, he was. Why else would he give Frankie drugs for free? Just because Frankie was a good fuck? No, there had been another reason, and deep down, Frankie knew he had always known that.

“He must owe Tilly money.” Frankie ran both his hands down his face before looking up at Tyler, who was busying himself cleaning up the dishes from their meal.

“Doesn’t excuse what he’s been doing.” Tyler growled out, focusing on the soapy water.

“No.” Frankie nodded.

“He’s been pimping you out either to get cash to pay off Tilly or working for Tilly to get some of his debt taken off.” Tyler muttered, keeping his back to Frankie as he furiously cleaned a plate.

“Yeah.” Frankie watched the younger man as he took his anger out on Frankie’s crockery. “Don’t know how much he owes or how long he’s been using me to pay off Tilly, though. To be honest, I can’t remember all the guys Gavin had fuck me. Money may have changed hands. I wouldn’t have known.”

Tyler paused for a moment before picking up the second plate and dipping it into the soapy water. Tyler was furious. He didn’t like how Gavin treated Frankie, using him, and it dawned on Frankie that Tyler didn’t enjoy knowing that other men had been fucking him. Frankie could see that from the way he held his shoulders, how his jaw was tensed, and his silence.

“Leave the dishes.” He said, standing up from the sofa and making his way over to Tyler in the kitchenette.

“I’m almost done.” Frankie could hear the pain in the younger man’s voice.

“Ty.” Frankie whispered softly, reaching out as Tyler placed the plate on the draining rack and went to get the large dish coated in the remnants of their meal. “Leave it. Talk to me, man.”

Tyler’s arms dropped as he turned his head to look at Frankie. His large dark honey eyes were filled with tears and fury as he met Frankie’s gaze. A lump began to form in Frankie’s throat as he realized just how much Tyler did care about him. To get this upset, this angry, Tyler did actually give a shit.

The two men walked slowly back to the sofa before dropping down next to each other. Neither of them spoke for a few more minutes, and Frankie found himself counting Tyler’s breaths. Deep breath in, count to three, long exhale, count to three. He knew that trick and soon began to see it working as Tyler unclenched his fists and leaned back properly on the sofa.

“Frank.” He turned to Frankie, shifting in his seat to face him. “I know this isn’t my place to say, and feel free to tell me to fuck off, but please, please stop taking Gavin’s shit. And I don’t mean his bullshit, although I kinda do mean that too. I mean the shit he gives you. You’re better than that. I could help you get clean.” Tyler’s voice grew softer and more pleading with every word.

“It’s not that simple.” Frankie sighed. Tyler closed his eyes slowly. “You’ve asked me before why I get high, right?” Tyler nodded but didn’t open his eyes. “Ty, I get high to forget the shit I’ve done. Not the shit with Gavin, although now that is part of it. I served Ty. I fought and killed men. I’ve seen shit I wish to God I could forget. I’ve done shit I honestly think God will never forgive me for.”

Tyler’s eyes opened, brimming with tears once more, and he nodded slowly. “I think I get it. I haven’t served, don’t actually know anyone who has, so I can’t fully understand. But I think I get it.” Leaning forward, Tyler reached over and took Frankie’s hands in his own. “But I want to help you. Fuck, I’ve only known you for a few weeks, but there’s something about you, Frank. Please, please, I am begging you, if you don’t want to stay clean, then at least stop taking the shit Gavin gives you.”

Frankie nodded slowly at first, then with more emphasis. “Yeah. I’m done with Gavin. I have to deal with him at work, but other than that, I’m done.”

“You know, thinking about it, you’ve been clean all week.” Tyler crossed his legs and threw his left arm over the back of the sofa behind Frankie. “You haven’t taken anything. How have you been feeling?”

“Shitty. I’m not going to lie, Ty, I really want some coke.” Frankie admitted. “But yeah, it’s been a week. Not been this clean since-” Frankie stopped himself, took a deep breath, and continued. “Not for a while.”

“You could keep this up if you wanted.” Tyler smiled, his left hand gently stroking the back of Frankie’s head, playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. “I’d help you any way I can.”

Frankie closed his eyes and allowed himself a moment lost in the enjoyment of Tyler’s gentle attention. After a few seconds, he could feel Tyler shift on the sofa and the soft tickle of his breath on Frankie’s cheek before he felt a couple of delicate kisses on his cheek and jawline. Frankie opened his eyes slowly and looked at Tyler.

“I’ll try.”

“That’s all any of us can do, Frank.” Tyler smiled warmly at him before leaning over and pressing his lips to Frankie’s. The kiss was slow and deep as Tyler wrapped his arms around Frankie and pulled against the younger man’s chest. Frankie could feel the heat growing in his stomach, and a small moan escaped his lips as Tyler broke the kiss.

“Come on.” Tyler untangled himself from Frankie and stood up. Frankie’s eyes wandered down Tyler’s body before coming to rest on the very noticeable bulge in his jeans. Tyler glanced down and laughed, holding his hands out for Frankie’s to take. “You wanna see more, then you’ll have to come with me.”

Taking Frankie by the hand, Tyler pulled him off the sofa and through into the bedroom. Following the younger man, Frankie could feel the weight on his shoulders ease a little. Perhaps with Tyler at his side, it would be easier this time.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

The Brother Trap

Fandom: DC Comics, Flashfam

Summary: Owen wants to connect with his half-brothers for the first time. Luckily for him, they all go to the same university. Will bad blood between twins keep Owen from the family of his dreams, or is he the missing piece they've always needed?

Chapters: 8/?

Characters: Owen Mercer, Axel Walker, Thad Thawne, Bart Allen, Meloni Thawne, Deborah Morgna, Preston Lindsay, President Thaddeus Thawne Mention

Relationships: Owen Mercer/Axel Walker, Thad Thawne/Deborah Morgna, PrestonBart

Additional Tags: POV Third Person, College AU, Angst and Fluff, Family Dynamics, Family Issues, No Powers AU

Chapter Eight: Drunken Confessions

Axel had a few drinks before Owen got to the party that night. Thad bumped into him while looking for Owen. "Hey! You're in my econ class!" Thad yelled above the music. Axel raised his cup to Thad and looked around for Bart. "My twin's in the kitchen! He's getting drinks!"

"Oh! Cool, cool!" Axel answered awkwardly.

"How long have you and Owen been dating?" Thad questioned. Axel pretended he couldn't hear him over the music. Luckily for him, Owen put his hand on Thad's shoulder before Thad could ask again.

"Thad, you look great!" Owen smiled as he hugged his brother. "Axe!" Owen moved forward, and Axel kissed him without thinking before rushing to get another drink. Owen stood stunned, holding his fingers to his lips.

"Owen, are you—?"

"Let's go get drinks!" Owen interrupted as he dragged Thad to the kitchen. He ran into Bart, who hovered over the microwave, waiting for his pizza rolls. Owen took two shots back to back, and Thad cautiously took one to ease the tension.

"Are you and Axe in a bad place?" Thad asked.

Owen took a soda from the fridge and poured it into a solo cup. "Uh... No, he's just—. He thinks I'm being weird. I'm being weird," Owen scoffed before taking a sip of his soda. "Hi, Bart."

"Hey," Bart smiled as he turned around to greet Owen. He immediately turned back when the microwave beeped, and he turned the rolls in the mixing bowl before putting them back in the microwave. "This isn't from their freezer. I brought my own bag."

"He's not joking," Thad replied, "I literally begged him not to do that."

"But you'd be mad at me for wanting to go home early to eat," Bart responded. Owen took another shot and a few sips of soda.

"Maybe you should slow it down," Thad replied as he reached in Bart's kangaroo pocket for a juice pouch. He took a few sips and gave Bart a sip.

"You guys still getting along?" Owen asked. Thad and Bart nodded. The microwave beeped, and Bart took the mixing bowl out. "That's good. I like you guys."

"Yeah, we like you too," Bart smiled as he offered Owen some pizza rolls. Owen took a few in his hand and blew on them before popping them in his mouth. He took another sip of soda and took a fourth shot. "You okay?"

Owen nodded. "Yeah, let's take a picture... Let's take a nice one," Owen smiled uncomfortably. Thad tapped Bart's hand with his finger, and he smiled and nodded. They took a picture with Owen.

Owen excused himself and went upstairs, looking for Axel. "Axe! Axel! Where are you?" Owen asked. Axel came out of the bathroom and ran a hand through his hair before taking Owen's hand and leading him into an empty bedroom. "You kissed me."

"I know," Axel mumbled, "I'm sorry—."

"Why would you be sorry? Axe, I've wanted to kiss you forever now," Owen replied, "It's it because you think I'm being weird?"

"Are you drunk?" Axel asked. Owen gave Axel a pouty look, wide-eyed and sincere. "Owen, I can't do this with you right now."

Owen dropped his shoulders and chewed his bottom lip. "Why don't you want to be with me?" Owen whimpered.

"I want to be with you," Axel whispered, "Listen, Owen, are you good? Can we talk about this another time? I'm a few drinks in. It looks like you are too."

Owen nodded and sat down on the bed and lay back. "Axel, I'm scared that everything's gonna change. What if you're right and tomorrow is terrible? What if she knows who I am, and she hates me?" Owen asked.

"If she has any sense, she'll like you just like your brothers do. Listen, we can what-if until the sun comes up... But tonight, I just wanna dance with you."

"We can dance," Owen offered, "I wanna dance." Axel nodded and took him back downstairs. Bart sat on the couch with Thad and Deborah from the Big Belly Burger. They ate out of Bart's bowl, and Thad sipped a drink from his solo cup.

Owen and Axel danced closely on the dancefloor. The lights changed colors gradually, and the music was so loud they could feel it. Once Thad finished his drink, Deborah pulled him off the couch, and they danced together. Owen could feel the alcohol kicking in, and he leaned on Axel. "Why is your brother eating a whole bag of pizza rolls out of a mixing bowl?" Axel asked.

"He's funny like that. I think maybe I want to sit down," Owen mumbled. Axel nodded, and they both sat on either side of Bart.

Owen managed to get a hold of a bottle, and he had a few swigs before sleeping it off on Bart's shoulder. "Can you watch him?" Axel asked. Bart nodded.

"He'll be okay," Bart replied. Owen mumbled something in Bart's ear, and Bart chuckled. "Huh?"

"I'm s'glad we're brothers," Owen slurred. Bart thought it was strange, but he concluded that Owen meant it figuratively.

"I'm glad we're brothers too," Bart smiled.

Owen sat up and turned to Bart. "Can I tell you a secret? I'm gonna tell you a secret. I'm drunk," Owen confessed. Bart nodded and playfully shushed him. "Bartholomew. Allen. I love you, buddy."

"I love you too, Owen. Hey, get some sleep. I'll drive everyone home in an hour or two," Bart whispered. Owen frowned. "What's the matter?"

"I want to go to sleep," Owen whimpered. Owen lay his head on Bart's shoulder. Bart let him go to sleep, and Thad came to Bart for a snack.

"Is Owen okay?" Thad asked.

"He's asleep... But he looks like he's doing alright," Bart whispered. He took out his phone and took a picture with Owen. "Are we going to Mom's tonight?"

Bart nodded. "I'll drop everyone off when you're ready to go," Bart replied. He didn't mind sitting with Owen. Parties weren't really his scene. He used to enjoy parties before they moved, but it felt weird to be around so many strangers. At least in Manchester, he knew everyone. University made him feel like a stranger amongst strangers —except for Thad and Preston.

Thad stood still, staring at Bart for a moment before hugging him. "I love you," Thad whispered. Bart knit his brows together and sniffed Thad to see if he was drunk.

"I love you too?" Bart replied. He wrapped his arms around Thad and took a breath.

"I'm not ashamed of you. I was protecting you," Thad whispered, "I know we're twins... And I like being twins." Thad walked away before Bart could answer him and joined Deborah back on the dancefloor. A smile spread across Bart's face. It felt good to have Thad like him again.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Walls of ice crystals accompanied by a frigid chill in the air

How can a place make you feel so cold physically and emotionally? It’s hard to explain but the second I stepped into Ice Crystal Manor, it seemed like the atmosphere dramatically shifted. Aside from the unusual architecture, this strange, cold feeling is what makes this place appealing.

Marianne and Pearl first visited the manor eight years ago and it left a huge impression on them. A few years later, they came back to film a music video for All I Gave You is Gone, the lead single from their critically acclaimed album Hallways. The album was a labor of love for the couple, especially for Marianne, who was slowly getting her life back together after going through some tough times.

Marianne once described herself as a heart who was bitterly cold and devoid of warmth, a protective mechanism to prevent herself from getting hurt. She struggled with mental illness and substance abuse, using music as an outlet and escape. In a way, music helped by keeping her grounded, but art can only do so much when you’re stuck in an unhappy situation. She described it as slowly falling into a deep dark hole with no end in sight. After a while, you grow so used to the never ending darkness that anything unfamiliar like a crack of light makes you feel anxious.

Around the time she and Pearl first visited the manor, Marianne was slowly beginning to pick herself back up after Selene’s death. The trip was an impromptu one - they were just having one of those off days and happened to be in the area. The cold did snap them out of their depressive episode for a bit, somehow making them feel better and worse at the same time. As bad as it may sound, they both said it served as kind of a wake up call for them, and because of that, it sorta kicked off the inspiration for Hallways.

Pearl’s fortunate not to experience the ups and downs Marianne had, but she’s had her share of difficult times too. They both were trying to break into the music industry around the same time, which is how they got to know each other. For a while they stuck together, then Selene came between them.

Selene was said to be a blessing and a curse in terms of her relationships with people, especially with Marianne. These days, it seems like the general public only remembers her for her tumultuous life, not so much her music. She and Marianne had a whirlwind romance, one that escalated way too quickly, leaving a wreck behind when things went south. Marianne summed up their relationship by saying they were good and bad for each other in the worst and best ways respectively.

In an interview, a reporter once asked Marianne whether Selene could be considered a good person or not. She truthfully answered that she could not say for sure. Selene, according to many who knew her, was manipulative and known for guilt tripping, and that likely stemmed from severe abandonment issues she faced growing up. Pearl said even though Selene often treated her terribly, she somehow could never bring herself to fully hate her. She had a lot of problems and sadly, in the end, she was unable to overcome her demons.

As harsh as it sounds, Selene’s death was probably the only way Marianne could be free from her. Even though she’s moved on for the most part, Marianne admits that Selene still fucks her up. She said she could honestly spend a lifetime questioning everything but that’s not gonna change anything. Selene had always been a troubled person and despite everyone’s intentions, she refused to address her problems.

It took a lot of time and effort, but eventually Marianne was able to pick herself back up. Pearl stuck with her during that difficult and lonely time and she’s forever grateful for that. It’s hard to believe that Selene tried so hard to keep Pearl and Marianne apart - as for why, her reasons are still unclear. I guess there’s some things we’ll never know or understand.

While exploring the manor we ran into Blossom, who had just parted ways with the professor so she’s been killing time around here as she has an upcoming project that starts in a couple days. In the meantime she’s been exploring the city and taking note of the architecture, particularly with the manor as it’s the most interesting.

What makes the manor fascinating to look at is because everything’s made of a special kind of ice that’s used for intricate sculptures. Even though it feels like ice, it is extremely hard to melt - but that doesn’t mean it can’t so temperature control is important. The reason why the manor pretty much stayed in the same state for the past few decades was due to the high maintenance and upkeep maintained by the architects who built it.

Blossom happens to be here to help film a video, part of it which will feature the manor. According to her and Pearl, ever since the Hologram Viral incidents, anyone who wants to film at the manor with the purpose of sharing it publicly must have permission and be approved in order to do so. I’ve heard a bit about what happened and I don’t blame them for doing that. I swear, most content creator or influencer drama stems from Hologram Viral, as in someone gets exposed for being a shitty person pretty much every other week.

At this point, while it’s disappointing it’s no surprise that Alon and Mae are part of that community. All I know is that back in the day Hologram Viral was one of the first popular streaming platforms back when streaming wasn’t really a thing. The community over there I heard is toxic and a lot of people were either run out of the platform or had bad experiences - Atsushi for the former and Cheyenne for the latter are notable examples. To sum it up, most of the content creators there are entitled, rude, self centered, and opportunistic. As much as I hate to admit it, somehow, Mae and Alon fit in with that crowd regrettably.

The latest drama with Hologram involves a theatre troupe Blossom’s friend is a member of. What happened was that the theatre posted a bunch of short videos featuring their dancers. One of the videos featured a member who joined a couple years ago and initially started out with little experience. Apparently some influencers at Hologram didn’t like the fact that some “amateur wannabe dancer” was getting a lot of attention and sought to dig up some dirt on her. As for why, I have no fucking idea, I mean it’s a bunch of videos of dancers having fun and encouraging one of them to have more confidence in her moves. Literally they were just doing their own thing and for whatever reason a couple of influencers didn’t like that because they felt that the theatre troupe was “stealing” their views even though their content is nothing related to that.

If you ask me, I think they had something personal against the dancers or the theatre and decided to make that everyone’s problem. I mean, it’s totally a thing they would do - a lot of Hologram Viral related drama usually has to do with some private dispute that shouldn’t really be anyone’s business.

So they managed to pry into that one dancer and found some unflattering things about her father. From there, they found out some family drama and blasted that out to the public much to the family’s dismay. Those influencers thought they could discredit the dancer by making her out to be ungrateful or unreliable or something. To make matters worse, the father, a once prominent researcher who lost a lot of his credibility due to various controversies, managed to shoot himself in the foot while trying to defend himself. While he makes some valid points about people taking harassment too far, it’s kinda hypocritical coming from someone who has a track record of gatekeeping and intimidation in academia. At least he makes a point of telling people to leave his daughter alone, but in general he’s not too different than those influencers at Hologram who think that they’re above everyone else because they have money and status.

According to Blossom, the dancer and her father aren’t close so those personal attacks on them basically have no effect. Long story short, she was pressured to follow in his footsteps to be a renowned researcher. Despite her efforts, she failed to meet his impossible standards, so she eventually dropped out of the university and left home. Not too long after, she joined the theatre troupe and trained to become a dancer. That then led to her father harassing her by attacking the theatre for no good reason, which was what contributed to his suspension and eventual resignation. The dancer, who’s currently taking a break from social media, had said that the family drama is water under the bridge so people have no business rehashing that as they’ve since made up and gone their separate ways.

Annoying online drama aside, Blossom says the dancer’s doing all right and the drama’s old news. She’s been appearing in more shows so she’s busy focusing on that as well as living her life. From what I’ve seen, she seems like a cool person who’s got a bright future ahead. After dealing with the ugly side of academia, I’m glad she got out and found happiness somewhere else. Even though she started late compared to the other dancers, she’s been making strides so that’s super impressive! In fact, Blossom and her sister are gonna see a show in a couple weeks that she’s performing in so they’re hyped up for that.

The Ice Crystal Manor is a fascinating place to get lost in. Marianne and Pearl showed us where they did the music video and it hasn’t changed since then. The chandelier and staircase looked stunning on camera and even more grand in person. Again, all of this is made of ice so that makes it even more amazing. I don’t know how anyone has the patience and dedication to work with ice, especially something as detailed as the manor.

Of course, we were adequately dressed for the cold. But still, coldness crept up from the inside, that numb feeling I explained earlier. I think I’m starting understand how Marianne felt when she stepped into the manor for the first time. She said the best way to explain it is when you go from feeling nothing for so long that it catches you off guard when you finally feel something - in her case it was the frigid cold that knocked some sense into her. It’s not so much a shocking revelation or anything, more like “wait, has it always been like that?” sort of thing.

What fascinates me the most is the floating ice crystal sculptures scattered throughout the manor. According to the guidebook, the reason why they float is because the ice has been infused with a special potion that changes the property of the ice through a chemical reaction. The height at which they float depends on the temperature, which I think is pretty cool. I found myself mesmerized by the ice crystals, the intricate details, the way the light hits them, how they bob slightly when floating - it really is unusual!

A part of me wanted to reach out and touch the ice crystals like how one would reach out for the stars. But somehow at the same time I felt that if I managed to touch one, it would somehow take the magic away. Sometimes certain things aren’t meant to be within our grasp.