#this thing is going to be fucking massive

[impalastudios]

pretty girl | s.w

warnings; smut under divider, creampie, roughness, dirty talk. i think that’s all. inspired by my previous post 🫡

an: this is my first time posting any work so take it w a grain of salt…enjoy my lovelies

you couldn’t look at him even if you wanted to. his veiny hand was holding your face down into the heart-shaped pillow you sometimes humped when he was gone on hunts, preventing you from looking at how he was fucking you.

“sammy–” you moaned, trying to reach behind you and grab his arm but he quickly used his free hand to pinned your arm back down to the bed.

he groaned at the sound of your voice. he was fucking you from behind, rough, just how he liked it. “yeah, baby. that’s it. being such a good girl ‘f me.” he pulled out slowly, teasing you like he knew you liked it, and rammed back into you all at once.

you couldn’t help but moan louder at the sensation, his massive cock hitting you in places you swore couldn’t be reached before you met him.

“shh, be quiet sweetheart, don’t want anyone to hear you. want those pretty little moans all to myself.” he said as he slapped your ass, and you knew there would be a big mark there tomorrow when you woke up.

sam’s cock wasn’t the only big thing about him. his hands were huge, often wrapped around your neck when you were on your back and taking his cock, and his shoulders? oh, how you loved scratching them while you begged for more. they were your canvas, broad enough to have a story to tell. your place to show that he was yours, and he wasn’t going anywhere.

he picks up the pace, the tip of him hitting you in the right place once he lifts your ass up a little higher on his cock. “f-fuck! baby, you’re so deep!” you whined, loud enough for him but quiet enough for anyone else outside the motel walls.

he could tell by your whines you were gonna cum soon, his free hand snaking down to the front of your pussy and circling your clit. his other hand still kept your head down, lost in the need to make you finish first. “milk this cock, sweetheart, it’s yours. let go.”

you see stars. his voice, his words, the sensation of his big fingers on your clit, his cock slipping in and out of you, all allowing you to reach your high and moan his name out repeatedly. you don’t even hear his words, the only thing in your brain right now being sensation.

“oh shit, i’m gonna fill this sweet cunt up, baby. gonna–f-fuck, give you my load. pretty girl deserves it.” he says, and empties himself into your hole, his seed already so deep inside you as he continues to moan sweet nothings.

he lets go of his grip on you, pulling out and hissing. “you okay, baby? too rough?” he asks after catching his breath. you can only grin out of bliss, too fucked to even manage to say full sentences.

“never better.” you laugh, he places a kiss on your lips and gets up to find a towel, cleaning the spilled cum that drips out of your hole.

“you’re so beautiful” he places a kiss to your inner thigh, and you blush, still not believing how sam could be so thoughtful yet rough all at once.

[scuderiahalf]

of waning moons and eagle eyes — daniel ricciardo

pairing. platonic/romantic/up for interpretation!daniel ricciardo x reader

summary. goodbyes are hard; for now, i’ll say i am going to miss you and stay here a while. .5k

.

You stall behind Daniel, hesitating, shifting your weight, trying to think of what you could possibly say. You come up empty.

Daniel doesn’t look at you when you step beside him.

He just says, “If you’re going to tell me you’re sorry, don’t.”

“I was actually going to say you’re a talentless hack who deserves it.”

Daniel’s laugh is sharp and surprised. It feels good to be able to make him laugh, even in a situation like this, even if his face quickly goes blank again.

You follow his gaze upwards. The Singaporean night sky is an inky navy, too much light pollution for stars. But the moon, you can see. A little over half, closer to full than new but still waning. It won’t be a new moon until the month is over. After that, it will wax and repeat the process unto forever. Ever present, ever changing.

“I am sorry,” you say, despite the warning. “It’s not pity. It’s just what people say when a situation is fucked and someone they care about draws the short straw.”

Daniel exhales heavily, slowly. “Thanks, I guess.”

“You’re welcome. I guess.”

He huffs out a half-chuckle.

You stare up into the empty sky for a while longer. It’s well past midnight, now. All the other drivers are gone. Most crew and other staff, too. But not you. Not Daniel.

“How do you even know?” Daniel asks, eventually.

“I have my methods.”

You shouldn’t know. You really aren’t supposed to; it’s a massive breach of security. Luckily, you are just you, and all you want to do with the information of Daniel’s being dropped is be with him.

“I wish they’d at least give you a proper send off,” you voice quietly. “This whole guessing game, making you keep it a secret, not talking about it—it’s messed up. It’s not what you deserve.”

“It’s whatever.”

“It’s not.”

“I’m not a world champion.“

“You’re Daniel Ricciardo.”

You put weight into his name because it means something to you, and it means something to the F1 community even if his team won’t give him a proper, respectful goodbye.

Daniel looks at you. His eyes are always so much lighter than you think they are, yellow-hazel like an eagle and sharp, intelligent, emotive. They show a lot. They show so little.

You want to know what he’s thinking. Want to split the skin of his forehead, shave away the bone underneath and peer inside to see how he’s hurting or healing or however he’s feeling. Broken? Elated? Caught up in what’s past or ready to face the next big thing?

You don’t know.

“There’s no one like you,” you tell him. You need him to know. “There’s never been anyone like you.“

Daniel smiles, eagle eyes quartered like the moon. “Thanks.”

His smile fades and you drop your head onto his shoulder.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“Yeah.”

Daniel lays his head on yours.

“Me, too.”

[sugarlywhispers]

b.katsuki x reader (fem) | pro hero!dynamight x famous singer!reader a.n; lol a lil something that came to my mind while listening to ariana grande - love me harder <3

thinking about Hero Dynamight getting the mission to protect the new rising star singer that had received several harsh death threads.

he hates it. despises the fact that he will have to babysit a young singer. he thinks–oh no, he knows this is vengeance from his own company for all the times he caused havoc himself. so, he doesn't have a choice. he has to do it.

even though he knows he should have searched for your name and your case, he doesn't. call it arrogance or petty behavior, he doesn't care shit about it. so he goes blind into the airport to wait for your arrival. but as time goes by, more and more people start to gather around and before he actually realizes it, the airport is fucking packed with reporters and fans all around. there's too many fucking people. he even sees round face, deku and half and half bastard at a distance... AS FANS. losers.

but shit, so you're bigger than what he thought.

the doors open, and the amount of screams and yells deafen him. he immediately turns his hearing aids off, afraid he’ll go deafer than he already is thanks to his quirk. when he looks up, there you come walking with a big bunch of bulky bodyguards surrounding you in a circle, yet they are useless against the amount of people trying to reach out to you. it’s fucking chaos, and for him to admit that when he has seen chaos right to its eyes, it’s a lot.

he received instructions to stay away, to just interfere if things get heavy. but damn, it is already heavily chaotic enough, specially when something or someone makes you trip. and that’s it. he starts pushing extras away to get closer to you, and as people recognize him in his hero gear and suit, they start moving away on their own will, cuz he is fucking Hero Dynamight.

your bodyguards help him with pushing more people away as he finally reaches you. without saying anything, he picks you up bridal style and starts walking towards the exit door of the airport to the special black van waiting for you. it gets easier to walk, thanks to how scared most people are of him. Hero Dynamight is the most respected and feared Hero of them all, because if paparazzis don’t leave him alone, he’d blow their cameras off. simple as that.

that’s how you met Hero Dynamight for the first time. you were told a professional hero would accompany you for the rest of your tour due to some threads some people were sending you. on your opinion, it was nothing new, nothing your team of bodyguards couldn’t handle. however, if your manager thought that you needed a freaking Pro Hero in that team, it probably was more serious than you thought. so you said yes. now, of all the heroes around the world, you could not have guessed this massive man, all big and authoritative –and freaking handsome– was the Hero Dynamight most of your fans shipped you with.

and as Hero Dynamight walked out of the airport with you in his arms, you could already read the fanfictions.

“T-thank you, I’m-...” you speak to him as he sits you on the back seat of the van. you feel weird, tingly and excited all over. you didn’t expect at all for him to do that. in fact, you were expecting to meet him at the hotel, where your manager told you he would wait for your arrival in the country.

but he cuts you off, saying, “Next time, watch where you walk, idiot,” and with that he closes the door of the van. but not before you could hear him grunt under his breath, “fucking extras, annoying pieces of sh-...”

you can’t help yourself but to think: wow, what a jerk.

you learned very quickly how a pain in the ass he could be. and how insanely attractive you found his attitude.

don't get me wrong, you'd still fight him tooth and nail when he is being an idiot. but damn, he is so handsome.

as time goes by and Katsuki gets to see you perform live, he gets to admit it.

Bakugou is… surprised. he is surprised by the exceptional talent you have as you perform your songs, with complicated choreos and still having perfect rhythm to sing live. he is impressed. very much so.

he stands there, on the side of the stage, arms closed over his chest and paying attention to everything and everyone around you.

and then, the song he likes the most from you starts. he frowns, confused. it wasn’t in your list for this tour, he knows it by memory already. But as you begin singing, you turn to the side, right where he is standing, and as you sing you look right at him and smile.

oh. his eyes open wide. you are singing it, for him. to him.

he feels heat in his cheeks. and a warmth in his chest that makes his whole body tingle. fuck, he's down bad.

[wiisagi-maiingan]

Universal healthcare would be a game changer in the US. It wouldn't solve everything, of course, and it still has its issues especially in a medical system that is poorly funded and understaffed but it would change SO MUCH.

Even aside from saving lives, which we all know politicians do not care about, it would be a massive boon to the economy to let people spend money on things other than paying off medical debts, paying expensive insurance fees, and paying for medication and treatment abd doctors visits. Like a household that isn't spending a few hundred (at least!!) on life-saving medicine every month is a family that can instead put that money towards luxuries.

And yet, even the most "left-leaning" politicians in the US just completely refuse to back universal healthcare. Full stop. A basic part of many other countries, countries that are frankly doing much better than the US financially, is treated as so absurd and radical that it's not even really a discussion by Democrats.

I know I've ranted about this before. You haven't seen it, obviously, but I've also had horrible breakdowns about this irl. I voted for Harris but thinking about her vague, completely milquetoast stance on single-payer healthcare genuinely makes me feel like I'm going to throw up because that is still the best fucking option we have.

I don't know how we can fix this. I don't know how we as a country can possibly continue like this, when even the absolute bare minimum in so much off the rest of the world isn't even a consideration by mainstream politicians here. I feel sick.

[robo-writing]

Hello! Love your Logan fics! If I could, could I ask for x-men trilogy Logan finding out what a hurricane shot is?(it’s where the guy takes a shot of alcohol and then a bartender (usually a really pretty woman that’s sitting on top the bar in front of the guy) splashes him with water and slaps him across the face. (really popular in the college towns in Florida) like scott mentions he had a hurricane shot when he was in high school during a senior trip to Florida and Logan asks what the hell that is. And his crush just goes “you don’t know what that is?! You drink booze for a living and you don’t know what that is???!” And precedes to just show him much to Scott laughing his ass off at seeing Logan getting drenched in water and slapped across the face, and Logan just fucking bewildered what the hell just happened and probably a bit horny (he got a pain kink, so getting slapped by his crush is like up his alley)

"The fuck is a hurricane shot?" Both you and scott's ears perk up, him being the first to express his surprise. "You've never heard of a hurricane shot?" "Am I suppose to?" He asks, getting just the slightest bit annoyed at how you two giggle between each other, some kind of secret language between the two of you.

“I’m just surprised is all,” you say, looking at him with mild amusement. “You’re the guy with his name tag on the barstool, so…”

“Real fuckin’ funny,” he huffs. “So what is it?”

You look up at him mischievously. “I think I’d rather just show you.”

Scott’s eyebrows go all the way up, a massive grin on his face. “Yeah, you should let her show you.”

You’re both snickering again and it almost makes him nervous. Almost.

“Sure, date and time?”

“Today, and now,” you say, running to the kitchen sink. You’re filling up a glass of water while Scott suddenly has his phone recording, more and more questions running through his head by the second.

“Okay, here’s your shot,” you say, sliding over a glass of rum. You’re holding a glass of water, looking down at it with barely contained excitement. “Do I have your permission?”

“Permission to what?”

“I can’t say.”

Logan’s feels his eye twitch. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I can’t tell you, it’s a surprise!” You reply, a cheeky grin spreading across your face. “It’s a yes or no Logan.”

He weights his options for a minute, figures that whatever you two’ve got planned he can kick your asses for it later, and with a shrug says—

“Fuck it, sure.”

You nod in his direction, eyes pointing to the glass, and with no theatrics he downs the entire thing in just one gulp. There’s nothing special about the shot, just the standard burn that accompanies it.

No, what’s special is what comes after.

The same moment the glass leaves his lips, the cup of water you were holding is thrown in his face. Before he can ask what the hell you’re doing, his face is whipped around.

You slapped him—rather hard, in fact. So unexpected he’s forced to stare off into nothing for a while before reality hits him.

He’s stood in shock, Scott laughing in the background while you complain about your sore hand. He’s drenched head to toe, still collecting his thoughts.

“What…was that?” He asks, hand reaching up to rub his cheek.

“That, my good friend, was a hurricane shot,” Scott replies, patting Logan on the back as he goes off to play his captured footage on loop. “Florida’s a wonderful place.”

You follow behind, chasing after Scott with a shout of “Lemme see!” Before the both of you disappear.

Logan’s stood in the kitchen by himself—and of everything that’s just happened to him, he can only conjure up a single thought.

That was really, really, hot.

[herefortheships]

About that ending scene + Lydia and Betelgeuse's connection

I've been thinking about BJBJ's ending dream/nightmare scene, and I thought I'd give my two cents as to what the purpose and meaning of this scene could be.

I have only watched the movie once, but that ending sequence stuck with me as one of the most memorable moments in the movie, if only for how disturbing it was (to me).

That said, what I interpret as the purpose of this scene is really simple:

This scene serves to show the audience that Betelgeuse is not only not gone, but that he is indeed psychically connected to Lydia as he mentions early in the film. They have both woken up from the same fucked-up nightmare, thus showing that their connection remains intact.

This is what I think the scene itself means:

The birth of the Beetlebaby was Lydia's rude awakening. She can't simply banish Betelgeuse by saying his name three times anymore, because they are psychically connected (I'll talk more on this below). Sure, he will go away, but not permanently. Never permanently anymore.

Why does the baby come out of Astrid? Because that is the element of horror that turns the dream into the nightmare that shakes Lydia (or both Lydia and Betelgeuse) awake. It doesn't matter if Lydia decides to go and live her life with Astrid, ignoring the events prior, Betelgeuse is not gone.

Betelgeuse is not only still hanging around Lydia, exactly as he was at the beginning of the film, his connection to Lydia runs so deep that they can even share dreams/nightmares now (or he can at least enter or manipulate her dreams, and if they go with this one, then that means the terrifying Beetlebaby birth might have been placed in her dream as a little revenge for banishing him. Does Betelgeuse even sleep? I digress).

I think this is the very thread Tim Burton could use to start preparing Beetlejuice 3. Lydia and Betelgeuse's psychic connection. I do not think this was a throwaway line, or like Betelgeuse deluding himself, thinking that he and Lydia are connected. As I've said, I've only seen the movie once (bummer I was going again this week but something came up), but I'm sure there is enough solid evidence to support this. Beetlejuice is able to project images of himself around Lydia, without being summoned. Lydia is able to see glimpses of him because of this connection. The final dream sequence calls back to that line earlier in the movie and supports it/proves it to be true: they are indeed connected.

Now, here's the thing (and we're entering head-canon territory here), this isn't something he did alone; this can only happen because of Lydia herself.

We now know Astrid inherited Lydia's ability to see ghosts, what if there is more to it? What if they have psychic abilities that go beyond just being able to see the dead? I know the first movie made it seem like Lydia could see the ghosts because she was "strange and unusual", but I feel that this movie established that this is an ability that runs in her blood, as Astrid inherited it from Lydia. What if it's something that runs in her family? The answers could lie with Lydia's mother, who we now know is still alive.

As I said above, Lydia cannot just say Betelgeuse's name three times to get rid of him now; if she truly wants him gone, she is going to have to do something different. She will have to figure out a way how, and that's the story thread that could lead us to her finding her mother in the next movie.

Now, the keyword here is if Lydia wants to get rid of Betelgeuse.

This might be the reason she can't fully get rid of him just saying his name; it might even be the reason they're connected in the first place: She doesn't truly want him gone. It might even be her psychic abilities that are keeping Betelgeuse's presence from leaving her alone.

Take it with a massive grain of salt, obviously, as this is all speculation. But the movie sort of implied that all of Lydia's relationships have failed. Even her relationship with Richard, which seems to have been great. For what little we were given about it, it looked like he was someone she really connected to and loved. But something didn't work out there, despite this. Could it be that whatever connection Betelgeuse feels with Lydia that has led him to single her out as the love of his life, in his own words, Lydia has felt herself about him, albeit subconsciously (and perhaps much to her horror)? Lydia might have been intrigued by him for years, pushing it down due to her fear of seeing him again. She could be simultaneously fascinated and terrified by him. He is a very powerful demon and she wouldn't want to do something to cross him again, especially since their final interaction saw him betrayed from a contract he didn't stray from. She might have been fearful of Betelgeuse being vengeful.

But he wasn't vengeful. In fact, much to her surprise, he'd been longing to see her again for over thirty years.

Lydia now will have to grapple with her conflicted feelings for Betelgeuse and figure them out in the next film, if we're lucky to get it (and I have no doubt we will).

She could say his name three times, banish him away, but then her heart would summon him right back to her, and thus whatever psychic ability she has which also enables her to see the dead pulls him right back into her life and keeps their connection alive. It would be interesting to see if it turns out that it was her own feelings about Betelgeuse that have always kept him around "just out of reach" all this time, giving him a way in and keeping their souls connected. Like she subconsciously has known all this time they are meant to be together (soulmate storyline, if you will ✨).

[innerfare]

Blue Balls - Eustass Kid: Part 1

Summary: Captain Kid ends up with a case of blue balls; text below the cut

Pairing: Eustass Kid x Afab!Reader

Genre: smut

CW: teasing, dirty talk

Word Count: 1,427

———

All night, you’d been teasing him. 

It started with that mini skirt, the black one with the sheer panels and garter strings to clip your stockings to. You knew he would grab you as soon as he saw you wearing it, he always did, but he didn’t have a problem with that until you refused to bail on your plans to hit the town with the crew. You claimed Killer had heard about some great tavern that you didn’t want to miss out on, especially after being out at sea for so long. 

So there he sat in that stupid tavern, watching you lean over the bar with a drink in your pretty little hands, laughing hysterically at something Bubblegum said. He ground his teeth at the sight of your round ass in the air. He knew he wasn’t the only man who saw it. He wanted to slap a metal blindfold on every motherfucker in the joint, but he knew that would just make you mad, and not in the way that ended in you hate fucking him. 

“You look like you’re about to do a murder,” said Killer, approaching him from the side. 

“That’s because I am.” He slammed his drink down and stood up as a man reached for you, his eyes on your ass. He was stopped in his tracks by Bubblegum, who intercepted the man with a fist to the face. 

Cutting your conversation with the bartender short, you whipped around, unsure what had happened but certain the commotion had something to do with Bubblegum. You looked between your crew mate and the man he had punched, and then you looked at the man’s friends. Finally, your eyes fell to the corner of the bar where your boyfriend and his first mate had taken up residence. One look at Kid’s face, and you knew things were about to get ugly. 

“Come on,” you told Bubblegum, grabbing him by the arm. You called out for the others. 

“I think it’s time to find a new place,” Killer told Kid, taking him by the metal arm and dragging him away from the table. 

Kid dug his heels in, waiting until you were about even with him before he let himself be pulled out of the establishment. 

The crew howled as they stepped into the chilly night air, bouncing up and down, all of them energized by what had almost been a magnificent brawl. A few of them grumbled at you for cutting it short, but you brushed them off. 

You were more focused on Kid. You had noticed how annoyed he was when you didn’t let him jump your bones back on the Victoria Punk, had seen him scowling in the corner, had felt his eyes following you wherever you went. And you could sense him brooding still as the crew staggered down the street in search of a new watering hole. 

Just when Killer called out that he saw one and the crew took off, Kid grabbed you by the arm and yanked you into the nearest alleyway. 

“Kid!” 

He clamped his hand over your mouth and shoved you into the wall. 

“You think this is funny?” He seethed, his chest heaving. “You know I hate it when you tease me, you brat. It’s fucking childish, and I’ve told you a thousand times, you’re not allowed-” 

“Not allowed to do it,” you mocked. You giggled when he growled. 

“Do you hear me laughing?” 

“Calm down,” you told him, reaching up to cup his cheek in your hand. 

He swatted your hand away like a fly. “I don’t need to calm down, I need to fuck you.” He used his metal hand to lift you off the ground, the hard edges digging into your soft skin, and pressed his hulking body into yours, leaving you with nowhere to go. 

You grabbed hold of his broad shoulders. To keep your feet from dangling pathetically, you wrapped your legs around his waist, only to feel his massive erection press into your core. “For fuck’s sake, Kid.” You wiggled in his grip, though only half-heartedly. If you showed any genuine signs of distress, you knew he would stop in a moment, but the way you bucked your hips as you faked an escape attempt told him all he needed to know. 

“You’re an obnoxious little brat,” he told you, grabbing your hair with his real hand and giving it a good, hard yank. “Did it turn you on, shaking your ass in my face like that? Making me sit there while those other guys slobbered all over you? Did you want me to bash that guy’s skull in? Is that it?” 

“Of course not,” you huffed. “You know I hate it when you get in bar fights.” 

“Well, you certainly don’t help matters.” 

“It’s not my fault drunk men can’t behave themselves.” 

Kid grunted and reached beneath your skirt to pull your panties down, only to find you weren’t wearing any. 

“Fuck,” he barked. “Fuck.” A menacing grin stretched across his face. 

“Wait,” you said, just as he went to slide his finger across your entrance. 

He almost didn’t listen, desperate to know if you were as wet as he imagined, but he managed to stop himself. “What is it, rice ball?” 

You grimaced at the stupid nickname and wiggled in his grip. “Put me down.” 

He opened his mouth to argue. 

“Please, Captain. I wanna get you off.” You pouted. 

Unable to argue with that, he put you down. He leaned harder into you, blocking out all light with his domineering frame. It wasn’t just about leering over you, it was about shielding you from any onlookers. More importantly, though, it was about keeping you from escaping. Now that he knew you really had been teasing him and it wasn’t just his imagination, he wasn’t about to let you get away with it. 

“That’s it,” he muttered. “Put your money where your mouth is.” 

His heart pounded in his chest as your hands fiddled with his belt, not even bothering to feel up his arms and abs like you usually did, not wasting any time by placing sweet kisses on his chest, which he pretended to hate. He dragged in a ragged breath, thinking you must have been absolutely creaming for him if you skipped the foreplay. 

He licked his lips at the thought of your slick folds. 

Part of him wished you had worn panties so he could get them off of you and breathe in the scent while you sucked him off, stuffing them in his pocket for safekeeping when he was finished, but he was perfectly happy to know you were bare for him. It exhilarated him to know you had been so close to flashing your pussy to the entire tavern, to know that all of those men could only imagine what you looked like under that skirt, whereas he got to admire the real, pretty thing whenever he so pleased. 

“That’s a good girl,” he said when you pulled his throbbing cock out of his pants, a length so massive you went through lube like water and still struggled to take him. “That’s it, just like I taught you.” 

You smirked to yourself, satisfied with just how easily the menacing Captain Kid came undone. All you had to do was wrap your pretty fingers around him, and all that mean swagger evaporated. He went from a hunk of metal to putty in your hands, bucking his hips like a horny mess getting felt up for the first time. 

“Easy, Captain. Don’t want to cum too quickly.” 

“Shut up.” The words got lost in his throat as you gave him a hard yank. 

The tip was oozing precut already, and you spread it around his cock. Though it was hardly enough to lubricate his entire length, you were still able to slid your hands up and down, stopping at the base because you knew touching his balls would make him cum too quickly. 

He melted into you. With each stroke, he let his guard down a little more, until finally, you had an opening. 

“Fuck,” he grunted, face buried in the arm he had braced against the wall behind you. “I’m already gonna cum.” 

“Not yet, you aren’t.” You let go of his cock. “You’ll have to catch me first.” 

He was still processing your words when you ducked under his arm and took off out of the alleyway, laughing as you ran all the way back to the Victoria Punk.

———

Hope you enjoyed it! You can read Part 2 here! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[bambi-slxt]

🤍𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞🤍

𝕔𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕡𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕠𝕝𝕠 𝕩 𝕗𝕖𝕞!𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

word count: 1.6k

genre/tropes: established relationship, hurt/comfort, all fluff

warnings: reader is on her period (fic inspired by me being sick as fuck for a month)

notes from bambi: chris takes care of reader on her period (does not include period sex). don't like, don't read - if you do read, please enjoy! <3

It probably ruined the mattress too. Fuck.

"Chris, baby.." You shook him gently awake. "I'm really sorry but can you go sleep in Matt's room?"

He yawned, a massive, snake-like yawn, unhinged jaw and all. "What're you talkin’ about, ma."

You grimaced, unwilling to go into gruesome detail. "I, um...

Chris blinked away the sleep from his eyes and took in the scene before him. Dark blood had soaked through his bedsheets—quite a bit of it. “Oh fuck, are you ok-”

“Yeah, I just–no, don't look at it, I promise I'll take care of everything, I'm gonna wash your sheets and if you need a new mattress I'll get it, I'm so sorry, Chris please, just…just go sleep with Matt.”

While you spoke, Chris sat himself up and slipped off the other side of the bed, his face fallen with empathy. “‘M gonna help. Come on, let's strip it.”

Your stomach twisted. “No, Chris. I don't want you to see this, I don't even really want you to see me right now, please just go.”

Chris padded around the end of his bed, walking towards you with his achingly familiar gait. “Come here, babygirl.”

Tears, hot and stinging, pricked your eyes, and they began to flow as his arms enveloped your body. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” You tucked your head into his neck, hands clinging to his shirt like a child while his hands stroked up and down your back, your chest heaving and hiccuping with cries. It was all bullshit, this whole thing.

“Don’t gotta be sorry. It’s okay. I got you. M’ not goin’ anywhere. Easy, pretty girl. Take it easy.” Chris murmured his reassurances gently as you stood together in his dark room. 

“Thabnk you,” you sniffled, nose stuffed. “I’m gonna shoot myself directly into the sun.”

He coughed out a laugh. “Don’t do that. Come on, let's take care of the bed and we can go shower, yeah? Get y’ cleaned up n’ shit, okay?”

An apologetic but appreciative smile cracked its way through your features. “Okay.”

Chris’s hands slipped away and cradled your face with as much tenderness as he could muster. “There’s my girl. It’s okay. You’re okay.” You leaned into his touch, looking up at him through tear-soaked lashes. “Hey, baby,” he whispered. “My pretty girl.”

With another sniffle, you finally tore yourself away from his embrace and stared decisively at the disaster zone. Yanking the comforter off, you and Chris began to silently unmake the bed, working in a quiet tandem that would have been comfortable if not for the subject at hand. Balling up his sheets, you stepped around him, making sure your arm brushed his back as you passed, and stepped carefully up the stairs. About halfway up, your ears alerted you to another set of footsteps behind you and you turned to address him. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to-”

“Shh. What if you get lost?”

“...I’m not gonna get lost.”

“Or kidnapped? Ever think about that?”

“I can honestly say that a home invasion resulting in my abduction hasn’t crossed my mind in years.”

Chris huffed and nudged you up the stairs again. “Skill issue.”

Another unexpected smile stretched your lips. “Shut up.”

A soft light emanated from Matt’s room - he must still be awake. “What time is it?” you murmured, sliding open the folding door to reveal the washer and dryer.

Chris shrugged, reaching above your head for the stain remover. “Time doesn’t mean anything anyway.”

“What?” You took the bottle from him and rifled through the heap of sheets. 

He chuckled, quite proud of his ability to drop conversation-grenades. “Like, the numbers we put with time, they don’t add any meaning to it. Numbers are just a way for us to measure something we don’t understand.”

You turned to him slowly, in utter disbelief. “All that raw, incredible intelligence…remind me again how you spell tw-”

“Okay, enough,” he grumbled, snatching the sheets from you. “Here, gimme that. You’re doing it wrong.”

You snickered softly, wrapping your hands around Chris’s arm as he scrubbed the magic soap into his sheets. “Wait, no, you don’t have to do that, hold on, let me just-”

He bumped you out of the alcove with his hips. “Stop. I got it. Doesn’t bother me, ma, I promise.”

“...But I feel bad.”

He shrugged, hands still working the solution through the accidental mess you’d made. “Don’t feel bad. Problem solved.”

“Okay but like…it’s embarrassing. I don’t want you to see this and associate it with me.”

Chris tilted his head and turned to face you, leaning on the dryer to stabilize himself. “You’ve cleaned up worse things that’ve come outta’ me. Y’ any less attracted to me?” You shook your head, wrinkling your nose even still as you remembered his week-long recovery from food poisoning. “See?” Chris held out his hands. “Come here.” You sighed when you settled against his chest once more. “I’m gonna see you do some embarrassing stuff, and some gross stuff, and you’ll see the same from me.”

You grinned in spite of yourself. “Or worse.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, ruffling your hair, “Or worse. Look at me.” Raising your head to meet his gaze, you felt his thumb underneath your chin - not to force you, but just to touch you. “I don’t love ya any less. M’ not any less attracted to ya. I don’t want you to be perfect, I want you to be real and I want you to be mine. That’s all I’m askin’ for, babygirl.”

You stayed quiet for a moment, taking in his words and holding his gaze. “You’re so sweet.”

A soft blush lit his cheeks and he turned away to smile. “Shut up.” 

After dropping the offending sheets into the washer, Chris managed the dials and left it at that. “You wanna go get cleaned up?”

You nodded profusely. “I feel disgusting.”

“Come on, then. Gonna run you a shower to get all that blood off you and then we can just soak in the bath,” he murmured, beckoning down the stairs for you to go before him. “Ladies first.”

“Why, thank you, sir,” you replied, taking his hand daintily and attempting to saunter down the steps to his room and adjoined bathroom. 

“You look like those geese ladies from that old cat movie,” he snickered, following you with a hand wrapped around your outstretched fingers. 

“The Aristocats? I fucking love the Aristocats,” you said.

“Wanna watch it later?”

“Yessss.”

Chris chuckled again and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. “Lemme get the water warm.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I like taking care of you.”

Now it was your turn to blush. “Shut up.”

The gentle shhhh coming from Chris’s bathroom washed over your ears as you slid the ruined pajama pants down to your ankles. “Gonna have to wash these too,” you growled, balling them up and throwing them at the corner. 

“I’ll do that,” Chris said, “Get in,” and he pointed forcefully to the shower.

“Oh my god it’s so warm in here,” you groaned happily, feeling it soak your skin and warm your body.

“Not too hot?” he asked, closing the sliding glass door almost all the way. 

“Perfect.” Securing your hair out of the way, you let the water flow down your body, taking all the dark stains with it and disappearing down the drain. You didn’t even notice Chris leave. 

The lighting in his bathroom was soft and easy on the eyes. You pulled your soap off the tile-inset shelf and opened it over your chest, letting the cool gel coat your breasts and stomach. Frugality held no bearing on your mind tonight - you earned this small luxury.

The door opened again. “‘M back, baby.” Chris leaned against the wall that upheld the shower, turning his head to meet your eyes through the glass door. “You feelin’ better?” 

You nodded, smearing the now-sudsy soap over yourself. “Thank you.”

“For?”

“Taking care of me.”

Chris smiled, though it was tinged by sadness. “Of course I take care of you. And ‘m sorry you thought you had to do all that, you know…by yourself.”

You returned his ached smile. “I'm sorry I bled on your mattress.”

“It’s not a death sentence, babygirl, it’ll be alright.”

You stepped back into the water stream, and let it send the last spots of blood into the drain. “So will I.”

When you awoke again, it was on the couch. The white couch. Scrambling to your feet, your eyes darted around in horror - but no red marks greeted you. 

“You’re okay, baby,” Chris said softly. He stood shirtless in the kitchen, standing over a sizzling pan. “Brought you up here cuz’ you didn't want me to leave you alone in bed.”

You blinked rapidly, trying to regain memory. “But I never…I don't remember putting a-”

“I put a towel underneath us so you could sleep naked like you like,” he said with a smile. “You remember wakin' up this mornin’?”

“Yes…Oh Chris…” A blush flamed across your cheeks at the memory of him holding your hips, running a soft, cool wipe over your folds at your behest. “I shouldn't have asked you to do that, that was weird and gross and-”

“Shut up.”

“No, really, that was-”

“Hey.” He clicked something on the stove and walked over to the couch, cupping your face with his hand. “I was happy to do it. I told you, I like takin’ care of you. Besides, what kinda man would I be if I was scared of a little blood?” His thumb brushed over your cheek. “It’s okay. I promise.”

Tears pricked your eyes, and your chin felt a little shaky. “Thank you.”

“‘Course,” he grinned. “Come on, food’s ready.”

notes from bambi: hope you liked it! i'm such a sucker for soft!chris

[aingeal98]

Since I love using tumblr for batfam headcanons and plot ideas that I'm probably never going to develop fully, here's another one: Bruce offhandedly mentions one day that it would be nice if Cass bonded more with her two younger brothers. It's great that she's got that synergy going with Tim but he wants Duke to feel fully accepted into the family and Cass is currently closest to him, not to mention Damian could use all the good role models he could get. Cass being Cass is like challenge accepted old man and takes Duke and Damian off for a full day of sibling bonding

Things that happened during the next 24 hours:

-A brawl broke out on stage at Gotham theater during a Hamilton performance. Witnesses say the fight was started by an actor insulting the youngest of Bruce Wayne's children when he complained too loudly about the content of the play. The argument soon got heated with one actor throwing a prop button at Duke Thomas, Bruce Wayne's foster son. This caused his foster sister Cassandra to jump up on stage and initiate physical violence, with the youngest Wayne joining her and yelling about how the founding fathers were all pathetic racists. All three are now banned.

-Gotham Zoo saw its largest ever breakout with many of its endangered species vanishing. Witnesses say the animals were honest to god airlifted into a massive cargo plane by men in black clothing following the instructions of Damian Wayne, who claimed that they were being mistreated and deserved a conservation site that actually allowed them to thrive. He and two other Wayne children are now banned from the zoo.

-Talia Al Ghul made a brief detour to Gotham to pick up some animals at her son's request and bring them to a sanctuary that their family trusts.

-the batmobile got totalled

-the bat boat exploded

-Duke discovered a new power that let him temporarily transform his body into light to move at super fast speed.

-He did this running from Interpol after Cass crashed the batplane into the Atlantic ocean trying to take the boys to France. None of them are willing to explain to Bruce the reason they wanted to go to France.

The bat plane didn't explode but it did sink into the ocean. Atlantis is currently enjoying poking around the wreckage.

-Interpol did not recognise the trio as Waynes but recognised Duke as American. This led to them contacting the CIA who recognised Cass as an old urban legend. All three are now technically banned from France although they haven't been IDed so it's more like a "if you see someone matching this description call the police immediately." ban.

-Speaking of the police, Jim Gordon received a report that half the force in Gotham broke their legs that day. Through pure coincidence every single cop that mysteriously tripped or was injured by a mystery assailant was one who Jim knew was corrupt.

-Warehouses that were rumoured to belong to the Red Hood blew up

-Red Hood was seen shooting at some of the bat vigilantes and yelling at them to fuck off. He then yelled that he wasn't talking to the Signal, who was welcome to visit anytime as long as he didn't bring the other two.

-A warehouse in Bludhaven belonging to the Penguin blew up.

-Three Vegas casinos went out of business due to Bruce Wayne's daughter winning every round while accompanied by her two younger brothers. The casinos set their hired muscle on the siblings to try and get their money back. This did not end well for the hired muscle.

-Bruce Wayne decided to never, ever encourage Cass to bond with her siblings again.

[dr-spectre]

Helloooo, just saw the big ol Callie rant and thought I’d share my (albeit not as detailed) thoughts cause the first Splatoon game I played was Splatoon 2 and I took my sweet time on the story mode.

Despite her being your main companion throughout the story mode, I found Marie’s spiteful and clearly discriminatory language towards the Octarians to be consistent overkill, while she was obviously mad about Callie “going missing”, these fellas were only doing their jobs and it was painfully clear that Marie had an inherent dislike for their entire species. Since I hadn’t seen Craig Cuttlefish before I didn’t know that this discrimination came from him, with a distinct parallel between their jabs (aggression being directed and focussed at the Octarian species at a whole rather than the reason you’re here in the first place) and with the fact that I was the one barging in and committing wanton destruction and violence in their territory the universal hate felt incredibly undeserved.

As for Callie, no Squid Sisters songs feel so authentic and genuine as the ones made in Octo Canyon. Even Bomb Rush Blush isn’t trying to sound perfect for any pop lover’s fragile little ears, it’s erratic and fills every silence like a one sided argument. With each song sounding like a vent album and the art showing Callie to be miserable and having to desperately hide it on the surface, she’s seemingly using her distance from Inklings as an opportunity to be completely outwardly honest and express the deeper emotions that wouldn’t be accepted in the media she’s surrounded by. Rather than “I REMEMBER!!!” being some ooga booga the cool glasses magic has been dispelled, I saw it more as Callie accepting these emotions she’d kept from expressing and realising her lifestyle and family meant enough to her that it would be more worth it to try and work through those feelings with them rather than use an outlet that worries them. Additionally, she has quite the opposite view on Octarians to Marie, finding them consistently cute and clearly still being friends with Octavio as they collaborated during the Low Water Party after the events of Octo Expansion (discreet lore but it shows she truly had an enjoyable time there!)

Now I could ramble about DJ Octavio for hours so I will cut this short, while - as you mentioned - Octavio was helping Callie escape the stress of her lifestyle in the interest of his own species, (uh oh the can of worms is threatening to open) insert the fact that Octavio winning means species equality through political negotiations put off for hundreds of years. I know! Oh goodness gracious how terrifying! The spicy beats man has used drastic measures due to neglect and forced poverty of a substantially sized society through giving stressed squid sanctuary! Next he might use his technological advancements in energy efficiency to revolutionise our industrial infrastructure- SHIELD YOUR EYES, CHILDREN!!

oh hey! cheers for reading the full thing!

Oh... oh damn... you just plopped your own rant in here, jesus.

I respect it honestly, i respect the hustle.

You know what's kinda crazy? From my knowledge and what people say online, Marie's hatred for Octarians as a species is a NoA localisation thing and not something in the original Japanese version of Splatoon 2. I could be wrong on that but that's just something I've heard in the grapevine.

Yet another example of poor localisation due to deadlines and rushed development cycles!!! ISNT IT SO FUN HOW IT KEEPS OCCURRING AND HOW PEOPLE BELIEVE IT INCLUDING LOUD VOICES IN THE COMMUNITY AND WIKIS TAKING THE NOA VERSIONS AS THE HOLY GRAIL?!?!?! SO FUN!!!!

(Massive fucking sarcasm.)

I dont have much else to say in response to your ask but, I wanna touch on DJ Octavio for a bit because I think the way that Nintendo treats him as well as the fanbase treats him kinda fucking sucks and flips flops between different personalities and actions he's done.

I swear to god people have such different takes on his personality and what he's done over the three games and it's a real headache to deal with. And the way that a lot of people talk about what he did in Splatoon 2 and the suggestions people say.... ugh... they make him so unredeemable and disgusting.

In Splatoon 1, depending on if you play the NoA version or European/Japanese version, he's either very silly and in your face, making musical puns and being a loud mouth. Or he's trying to be intimating and he gets to the point in his dialogue instead of making musical puns.

The worst things he did in that game was kidnap Cuttlefish and tie him up as bait to fight Agent 3, and stealing the power source for the Inklings. Cuttlefish is a frail old man and Octavio has anger towards him, so it makes sense he would go after him and snatch him up.

And then in Splatoon 2, people wanna fucking say that Octavio kidnapped Callie and brainwashed her, removing all of her memories and making her into a slave for the Octarian army... LIKE... WHAT?!?!?! OCTAVIO IN SPLATOON 1 WASNT THAT EVIL!!! WHY DO PEOPLE SUDDENLY SAY HE DID SOMETHING INCREDIBLY UNREDEEMABLE LIKE THAT?!?! WHY DOES NINTENDO PUSH THAT SHIT TOO?!?! ITS SO ANNOYING!!!!

AND PEOPLE BRING UP THIS PIECE OF CONCEPT ART TOO AND GUYS!!! ITS JUST FUCKING CONCEPT ART!!! ITS NOT CANON!! THERES NO EVIDENCE TO PROVE THAT THIS HAPPENED IN THE REMATCH FIGHTS!!! YOU BRAIN DEAD SONS OF-

You can't just go from "im gonna use Cuttlefish as bait because I hate that guy!" To "neheheh, when Callie isn't looking... I'm gonna grab her and brainwash her!" And then to "IM GONNA GET THAT OLD BASTARD AGAIN! HE TOOK MY ARMY!!!" You can't flip flop between silly old guy wanting vengeance against his lover to enemy Cuttlefish, to a malicious beast that kidnaps young women dude. You can't just do that.

You see the issue here? People give Octavio this ultra dark stain on his legacy and I think it ultimately ruins his redemption in Splatoon 3. He did something unredeemable and you cannot go back from that.

It makes more logical sense for Octavio to use his abilities of propaganda and manipulation out of desperation to convince Callie to join him. Octavio is a general and does things out of rage and vengeance from the past. He is not malicious in his actions and a lot of them can be justifiable. It makes more sense for Octavio to go "I need Callie because my peeps are dying, I'll convince her to join me and then I'll hypnotise her so she's more comfortable in the Octo Canyon to help my troops!"

Octavio is still obviously in the wrong for hypnotising Callie, duh. But, like I've said a trillion times, hypnosis isn't mind control, you cannot force someone to do something against their knowledge and morals. So it's more justifiable for Octavio to hypnotise Callie than to literally kidnap her and brainwash her while she was kicking and screaming, trying to stop him. Okay? WE GOOD SPLATOON COMMUNITY?!?!?!

Ugh.

[urban-shade]

my random miscellaneous sebastian headcanons. readmore because its a LOT

current

i was thinking about if he'd use special sebastian shaped emoticons like .:} and }:. and im honestly 50/50 i can see him thinking they're funny but i can also see him not wanting to think about the fact that he's a fish now and no longer human

in general i think he has a lot of identity issues. He literally NEVER brings up the fact that he is fish-esque besides telling us that he's not going to hurt us, and telling us items are on his tail. I think if he was more comfortable with his identity he might occasionally crack a joke but I think deep down he has a mask up emotionally where he tries to forget about it all.

and that mask CRACKS a little when players repeatedly climb on him!! it brings back hard memories for him and that's the most upset we ever hear him.. he doesn't even get that upset when he kills you for flash beaconing him twice.. you can fucking hear the hurt in gianni's voice acting and its just SO . AGH.

past / pre-breakout

i like thinking about what they had him get up to as an LR-P and MR-P a lot. What if they had him assemble furniture to get him used to his new 3rd arm. He thinks he's getting new furniture for his cell but then they take it away and put it in the break room and he gets SO ANNOYED. Then the 2nd furniture they have him do he assembles it and then throws it at the observation room at the top of his cell.

He'd get a game console for like one day to ensure his mental capabilities are the same as before the experimentation and for like 2 years after that day he misses his video games until he gets to play games again when he's promoted to MR-P

I feel like near the very start of things just to get a whole overview of like everything that's changed about him even if gills is only what they really gaf about (million dollar fish might as well see what your money did) they'd be testing a lot of basic stuff. Like taste. And they'd give him some normal food of different types of tastes to see if he's lost any taste receptors and he'd be like so happy but then intentionally one of the foods is really bad. And he gets so mad

i headcanon he did dual enrollment (college+hs) since he switched his college major from business to engineering and he's only 19. And that he was a massive nerd... unfortunately his fishtuation has changed him :(

there is a massive urbanshade in-network group chat/email chain for the scientists. There are a lot of inside jokes and a lot are at sebastians expense

i feel like he got food requests on his birthdays. The highlight of his years

His first request for birthday food was like a recipe his mom made a lot and he got it and it was horrible and barely seasoned because urbanshade is the worst and also they are in Norway and he is NOT going to get properly cooked authentic chilean food. And he never requested chilean food again :( Didn't want to be disappointed

post game

i don't think he truly realizes how big he is and if he ever gets a real human frame of reference he's going to get extremely upset about it (if he was already on edge from something else.. he's practiced at hiding/burying his emotions). The blacksite doesn't have a ton of normal size comparison things for him besides smaller human objects and humans themselves, everything is sorta larger than life there and he might feel quite big but I don't think he has a proper idea of the real scale.

Even if he escapes, even if he could deal with all the problems that come from being a snake/mermaid/fishmonster guy. He is still way too big to fit in any normal human spaces. He is truly screwed unless he can get turned back human by innovation inc...

even if he does get turned back human by innovation inc he's going to have to relive his trauma all over again. i think about that a lot

i think he'd also be conflicted on turning back human like it's the one thing he's wanted for the past 10 years but also.. He's been like this for so long.. he doesn't really feel like Sebastian the kid with a guitar that liked Metallica. He's Sebastian Solace the Saboteur… The dangerous fish man who's been forced to kill a few people out of necessity (and indirectly cause the deaths of a few hundred others)

i think he'd get phantom limb pains from his 3rd arm if he lost it in the human transformation. Like he isn't even supposed to HAVE that arm as a person and yet his brain still expects it to be there. He keeps trying to use it and then it's gone

When he first meets his family again for the first time after he escapes I think he wouldn't be human yet. Before he lets them see him he like speaks to them from behind a door or something… To try and prepare them. He's really nervous about seeing them all again because he absolutely cares about them just the same but he just feels like an outsider now.. he's changed so much

All he wants is to get back to a normal life but, normal human life doesn't feel normal to him anymore. He almost misses the monotony of the blacksite. I feel like innovation inc would take a few months-year to get him turned back and he might try working for them in that time to try and adjust to being out of urbanshade since it feels familiar to him and they're more equipped to deal with a giant fish man than his family's home. But ever so often things there remind him of urbanshade and he goes back to feeling like he's about to be shot on sight.

biology

silver spiny fins are some of the best vertebrates at seeing color in low light conditions! i think he has that trait from them

mantis shrimp like to burrow. I think he has some kind of instinct where he feels more at home in small enclosed spaces (he loves blankets)

what if his upper body had sandpaper shark scales. i dont want to put him through that because can you imagine putting on a cotton shirt with sandpaper skin???? too cruel. but its fun to think about

i think he molts but its only like once a year. The first time he does it he has like absolutely no idea that's what's happening he's just like insanely itchy or something and then he realizes his tail skin has PEELED OFF and he's like (HORRIFIED) but then realizes what's going on . And then it takes forever for him to get it all off and he just stares at it like Eugh after

the second time he realizes he can use the shed to screw with the researchers. Researcher walks in his heavy containment cell in the morning and there's just like a massive translucent crumpled version of him in the corner and they just scream before realizing 2 seconds later

the scientists have a sped up video of him molting to metallica music like how people post timelapses of their snakes shedding

[thr0wnawayy]

"Canon" Perception: Why MHA's World Building SUCKS!

I figured I'd make this post because it's about time I discussed my views on "Canon" or as I like to call it

The Vanilla-verse

Why?

Because Hori's version of events feel like he opened a choose your own adventure game and clicked the most straight forward options available.

Quirk Awakenings Make No Sense (JJK mentioned)

@bibibbon might like this one.

It's no secret MHA's world building is, lackluster. It feels empty.

Characters not allowed to speak out or back against favored ones, Plot lines dropped, Victims shuffled off to the side.

But where Hori fails most of all is his power system:

But first Jujitsu Kaisen

Similar to Hori, Gege (I hope I spelled that right) also struggles with world building.

Firstly the concept of Cursed Spirits.

Monsters being created from "bad" or negative emotions can work as a concept. But it also heavily depends what is considered bad.

It could allow for the tackling of what makes emotions "bad" and tie in with the shows setting of a restrictive society that forces people to either mold to the pressure or be crushed by it.

Suppressing their true selves and emotions in favor of fitting in with the norm. (to evade social subjugation)

Instead, it demonizes what is a fundamentally intrinsic part of human existence, if nor most sapient life.

It also brings up too many questions that go unanswered: Like the historical implications. If spirits have been around for so long, then why aren't places like Japan (with it's bloody history and bleak present) overrun with then.

Why are spirits trying to replace humanity if humans act as the sole reason for their existance. After all: No Humans = No Cursed Energy = No Sprits

What exactly counts as a "negative" emotion and how much does it take to give birth to a cursed spirit. Stuff like that doesn't seem to have an answer.

[This is also coming from someone who has never interacted with JJK in their life]

Similarly Hori has the same problem with almost every detail in the Vanilla-verse. Stuff like: Eri's bullets, Quirk Singularity, Trigger and so, so much more is never elaborated on.

So pray tell, why did I chose Quirk Awakenings to be the subject of this section.

Because they prove that Hori has no idea what he is doing.

Quirk Awakening or QA's might just he the most frustrating thing in MHA. Doesn't matter if it's in Hori's-verse or someone else's.

It hardly fucking ends well and that's because it's so broad.

Take Himiko's quirk awakening.

At first glance, it seems alright. A tad off but not something to raise hell about.

That is until you look at her quirk.

Transformation is a quirk that relies on blood to work, Himiko cannot copy quirks partially because quirks are stored in the DNA of an individual and Transform can only copy the outward appearance of a person.

She needs to learn the individuals mannerisms and habits on her own, she doesn't achieve those by the default of her quirk.

(The same could be argued for her voice, it would be much more impressive if she trained it)

It would make much more sense then, for the evolution of her quirk to allow her to better mimic people. Expanding the scope of who and what she could change into and how accurately she could become a subject.

It also would fit the theme of 'becoming who you love' with the saying 'imitation is the sincerest form of flattery'

Instead, though. Hori decided to make her AFO lite and it is broken.

If she copies AFO, does she obtain his quirks?

Would her quirk awakening account for other quirk awakenings. Say she transforms into Shigaraki would she be as strong as him post MVA or would she be stuck with USJ-level Decay?

Ignoring the blatant retcon-ex machina of it being dependent on Himiko's connection (not like it mattered during the Forest Camp Raid!), It is massively over powered and it doesn't fit Himiko's themes.

Now, let's look at Twice.

Twice's quirk (Double) allows him to produce identical copies of anyone through a sludge like substance that excretes from the palms of both his hands.

Each copy is a little weaker than the original, if a copy makes a copy then that fragility doubles.

Twice's quirk is ties to his character by his trauma. To the point he's so fearful of turning to sludge, that he actively goes out of his way to avoid conflict.

This guy had to watch himself kill himself, clone against clone and until MVA, Twice isn't even sure he's the original.

Twice's quirk awakening works.

It works solely because of Twice's character and themes, it simply fits.

It makes sense, Twice was so traumatized that he actively suppressed a part of himself and by breaking through that barrier he can begin to grow stronger by accepting himself.

Twice's quirk awakening works because the peice were always there. It wasn't that Twice pulled this out of his ass, he earned it.

He not only unlocked a part of himself, he came back stronger. In this way the formula works

Quirk + Effort/ Character Growth = Stronger Quirk.

Rather than replace or rebuild, Twice's QA works with what was already present and it comes off wonderfully.

I wish I could say the same for our next "challenger"

I have plenty of complaints about Shigaraki as a character, plenty.

His quirk awakening is certainly up there, not on the top. But it's up there.

It takes the weaker aspects of what I mentioned above and uses it as a crutch.

Besides Shigaraki remembering and accepting his past, this QA has nothing going for it.

It's almost boring.

There's only so much you can do with a quirk like Decay.

All it does is expand the speed and radius. And while that works for what Decay is, a quirk made to destroy things. It's really boring from a story perspective.

Seeing Deika and later Jaku was cool, but just that, cool. It only really served to push things forward and what it pushed was horrendous.

Stepping away from the narrative side, let's discuss the In-Universe side.

Post MVA Decay has two advantages. It spreads really fast and it makes things explode:

So why doesn't it work like Twice's did?

Themes. Nothing about Shigaraki's QA ties in with the themes expressed in MVA.

As the protagonist of the arc, we should feel a connection with Shigaraki, but we never do. Mainly because we don't get that much time with him.

Besided the bonding he does with the LOV we are given little reason as to why Shigaraki ticks like he does, there's little to no theme-ing with Shigaraki.

Doctor Garaki says it best with this line:

What does Shigaraki have to show us outside of his past and the PLF.

Hardly anything.

We know he's an avid gamer and likes to destroy things.

That's it.

Even Magne had something before she died, somekind of concrete goal that aligned with her character.

Tomura has nothing we can attach that to and as such his QA falls flat.

And this set the standard for every other quirk awakening in the series, no I'm not counting that monstrosity Hori bulled with Bakugo .

Uraraka's, Midoriya's, Shoto's (implied) Awakening, they all fall flat because they don't match the themes that were set literal years ago. Hori doesn't know how QA work despite having written them.

If your at the point where you, as a writer, don't understand your own in-universe system. Then maybe it's time you take away some stuff.

Why Shigaraki fails as a antagonist (featuring: Nine and Hana)

I already brushed the surface of this topic in the last segment. I'll elaborate on it here.

Shigaraki sucks as an antagonist. I don't like to use Reddit due to the attitudes on there but had found something while looking for information.

I managed to find a post that I think sums up my issues with Shigaraki pretty well, even if I don't agree the rest of the post (mainly blaming Shigaraki for Hori's failures)

The main one being what is the LOV even doing?

Spinner brings up a good point why do they even follow Shigaraki, what can he provide them as a leader that they can't get by sticking it out on their own.

Shigaraki is spoon fed practically everything and once you notice, it kills any possibility of him being taken seriously.

Let's see:

Dabi, Himiko: brought in by Giran, AFO's associate.

Spinner, Mangne, Compress: Came aboard under the false pretense that Shigaraki had cooperated with Stain.

Gigantomechia: Kurogiri has to draw him out, gets arrested while doing so.

The MLA: Has to gain a quirk awakening just to match ReDestro's output and ReDestro hands him the keys almost immediately. Only reason the merger happens is because ReDestro and Spinner planned it.

Every single goddamn thing in this story is because of factors external to Shigaraki. He literally stands around until Garaki gives him a new quest-line like a fucking Bethesda NPC.

It was understandable in the USJ because Shigaraki needed to be introduced. He was at his base form and needed to grow, except that growth never happens.

The story just dances around him, he doesn't need to try because Hori will just force things to happen.

The entire Jaku arc is him throwing a tantrum and the benefits just falling onto his lap. It is sheer luck that the public made that correlation.

Because the Nomu's behavior don't line up at all with Stains ideals. Nor does Shigaraki's "philosophy", and that was what partly triggered the whole Hosu arc in the first place!

Realistically nearly every member of the LOV should have turned tail the moment they met Shigaraki in person and spent time with him for over five minutes.

The LOV only exists and works because Shigaraki takes the backseat.

The entire Camp Raid, the focus is on everyone but Shigaraki who does fuck-all until Bakugo gets captured and we see him at the bar.

You could pluck Shigaraki from the arc and nothing would change because the central focus was on Dabi and the Vanguard Action Squad. How is anyone supposed to take Shigaraki seriously, when he is second fiddle to his own team.

And it's pretty much the same in the Overhaul Arc what does he direct contribute?

Again, nothing. I've heard the term 'Talk no jujitsu' used and it perfectly encapsulates his response to Himiko's anger.

No one in the LOV has any reason to believe him, to put faith in him because the fuck up was so colossal.

Let's review:

Shigaraki knew someone (someone important, a villain) was coming, made no plan if things went south. Dabi had actually left the base to recruit on Shigaraki's orders! Meaning that Shigaraki is primarily to blame for the casualties dealt during this fight.

Already bad, but maybe he does something to reaffirm their belief in him as a leader. Nope.

His revenge plan hinged on Overhaul not deciding to kill two of his team members on a whim, or use them as bargaining chips. Sends them directly into enemy territory with no resources.

Put his teammates on a position where they are forced to kill a hero in order to evade capture, making them a priority target for society at large* and further pushing them away from possible resources. (*A society, mind you that openly mutilates and kills outlaws)

His relationship with his team members is near non existant: from the Reddit Post

Spinner. Shigaraki plays videogames with him off-screen. Never even shows any concern for his whereabouts after Spinner starts losing his mind and almost goes full Nomu off of his quirks.

Kurogiri. Shigaraki never shows any wonder or comment as to Kurogiri's presence, despite the fact that Kurogiri was his babysitter for a long time and he apparently missed him after his capture.

Mr. Compress. Shigaraki never shows any wonder or concern as to his capture.

Dabi. Shigaraki never interacts with him in any way that suggests real friendship.

Toga. Shigaraki never interacts with her in any way that suggests real friendship.

Twice. Shigaraki never shows any kind of wonder or any concern as to his death.

Magne. Shigaraki never interacts with her in a way that suggests real friendship. Side Note: he never really reacts to her death either.

Y'wanna know who does have a relationship with his team?

Nine:

Nine might be one of the few characters Hori has ever created that managed to make me give a shit about them outside of alternative (or fanon) materials.

He is everything Shigaraki tried to be as a character:

A solid goal: To create an ideal world for his allies and himself where their idea of the 'strongest' rule.

Connections: Everything Nine does, he does himself. His teammates ate intertwined with hin through their history, he actually saved Chimera's life and it's implied he also did this for Slice and Mummy.

Effort: Nine puts himself in harms way numerous times for the sake of his allies and their mission. He even goes through with Garaki's experiments knowing he will likely wind up as the experiment himself.

Nine is phenomenal for what he was: A character from a spinoff movie.

And then he was killed.

God Fucking Damn it Hori.

===============================

Something that always bothered me about the defaced All Might statue was the laziness of it all.

In a way it reflected the direction MHA was headed, headlong into a kerosene coatdd dumpster.

I Am Not Here.

That's the best thing you could come up with? The falling action of the Arc and all you could conjure was that!?

When MHA ended, I said no, no fuck that and began putting some of the concepts I had made during MHA's decline to good use.

The logical conclusions went into Crownless Monarchy. Which serves as a continuation to what Hori failed for finish.

The rest?

The rest had been going into a side project of mine called:

I Am Nowhere

Or Nowhere for short.

Total Timeline Derailment is a phenomenon I noticed pop up in specfic works.

It occurs when an author throws out all stages of canon in favor of crafting their own story and shedding the limitations of the source material.

The story of Nowhere starts off modestly, following an alternative line of events where Hana's quirk causes a much larger scale massacre upon it's blossoming and the expands to show just how different this universe really is.

Such changes include: Hana's quirk being named and shown:

Soundwave: evolution of Nana's quirk and takes inspiration from Hana's name meaning (Flower)

Present Mic and Jirou losing their quirks in their youth (or as an infant in Jirou's case)

Himiko's parents making a deal with the Symbol of Evil himself.

Expanding upon Doctor Garaki's past and friendship with AFO.

The Yakuza going a different route (Overhual gets a new brother)

An alternate USJ: Christmas came early

AFO and Garaki both having successors.

And a ton of other things I need to flesh out more!

One may wonder what this has to do with my critiques on Hori's canon.

Besides being a pitch of sorts, this allows me to elaborate on how Hori seems to make mistakes one wouldn't expect of someone with as many years under the belt as Hori.

The one thing Hori always forgets is consequences. In Nowhere, Consequences are everywhere.

Enji shipping Rei off to the mental ward to cover up his abuse?

AFO takes interest and decides to pull some strings to get Rei transferred to Jaku General.

UA slacks on security?

Ok! Just let Hana bring Warmonger (USJ Nomu) along and have her kill Thirteen and nearly kill All Might in the same hour. Oh, and Himiko is playing the insider (of her own volition)

Bakugo rejects Midoriya's hand?

His abuses attract the attention of the Pale Sculptor herself, leading to him loosing both his parents in a "gas leak" ignited when Marsaru clapped his hands and caused an mini explosion to occur. [They get Rei's version of Nomufication] setting Nomufication forward by a decade in the process.

Ideally this story won't leave things out. Speaking of that I have one last thing to discuss

The whole debacle with the Winged Nomu and how some people don't know that it's apparently supposed to be Tsubasa

(yk the obscure character who only shows up twice and who we didn't get a name for until said reveal)

"What a Bomb to Drop", yeah it would have been better to "drop" it without needing to cram it into volume extras.

That right there is what gets me about Hori's writing, the lack of storytelling.

We shouldn't have an entirety different series just to understand why a character is they way they are (I'm looking at you Oboro)

I will say Vigilantes is leagues above it's parent series, even with the glaring flaws that plauge it.

Moral of the story: LEARN TO WRITE!

[redux-iterum]

So I’m curious about Goldenflower’s reaction! We’ve seen how aggressively she reacts when kits or young cats are put in danger (ie. Fireheart being left out alone). So I was surprised she allowed the ceremony to proceed. Is Bluestar’s failing mental health the reason why she didn’t react more strongly and shut that shit with Aspen/Ash/Cloud down? Also where do the clans draw the line in regards to someone like Bluestar when they’re not stable enough to really be held accountable, but they are putting other clanmates in danger through their actions?

There's a couple things going into this, so bear with me.

This whole situation is extremely difficult for everyone in a position of power, let alone the average warrior. Ideally - that is, how the Clans imagine stuff like this to go in stories - the leader can be disobeyed and disregarded by their followers, no questions asked, the instant they fuck up or do something dangerous. The matriarch has all the power over kits, the deputy can step in as the proper head of the Clan, the elders will be looked to and the seers have all of StarClan to give out judgements and commands. This is a sort of checks-and-balances type of society! It's going to be so easy to handle if it ever does happen!

Realistically, though, Clans are hardwired to obey their leaders above everyone else. It's why Brokenstar got away with everything for so long, it's why Tigerclaw would have been so much more dangerous if he'd gotten there, and it's what's allowing Bluestar to keep her position even though her mind is visibly failing. Leaders aren't untouchable, theoretically, but it is so very hard for a Clan to look at the cat who's so important to their society that they have an entirely unique suffix just to denote their rank and tell themselves "I refuse to honor them and do as they say", even if they have a good reason, or several. Even at this point, ThunderClan will obey their leader over their matriarch, and the matriarch will be forced to go along with this, not knowing what else can be legally done.

To disobey says so much about the warrior and the Clan as a whole: they made a mistake placing such massive responsibilities on this cat's shoulders, they have nowhere to put the demoted cat that will go smoothly, they're threatening the unity and structure of the Clan by shaking the very foundation of what they've grown up and lived with. It's so hard for a cat, let alone a warrior, to adjust to severe changes like that, especially ones that imply something at fault within themselves - which, inherently, following a bad leader for any length of time will shine a light on. Sometimes it's easier to keep silent - or, at the most, mutter complaints to your friend while doing nothing.

There's another aspect of this botched apprentice ceremony: the apprentices themselves. Changing from a kit to an apprentice is such an important, valuable, special thing for everyone; it's the biggest change in your life so far and it marks you as ready to serve your Clan and grow up to be someone great. To go through with the ceremony and then rip away that gift from cats so young and new to the world is a particularly cruel sort of disappointment, bordering on punishment in the eyes of that kit. Can you imagine being a grade schooler, about to enter middle school, and then being told you have to go back to kindergarten because someone else fucked up your paperwork? How awful would that be?

Speckletail made about as good of a call as she could in that moment, taking the apprentices' ages, their mentors and the Clans' culture into account. Let them be apprentices until they prove they're not ready, and if they aren't, they can go back to being a kit. This sort of solves the problem in a way - the apprentices will be eager to prove they can keep their -paw's and will work hard to do so, and if they fall behind...well, maybe they can just stay in camp for another month and then come right back to training with some experience already! It's not ideal, but it's the best Speckletail could do.

As for the final question... did you know that it was believed that planting an elder tree by your door would keep the devil away?

[deadweight-at7am]

Chappell Roan dropped out of All Things Go festival which was supposed to be happening THIS weekend in Columbia at Merriweather. It's a huge deal because she was probably one of the biggest stars and a lot of people were going for her alone. I knew she was going to pull some shit after she got backlash over her messy interview about the political candidates. I like her music, but as a person? She seems painfully immature and lacks any sort of professionalism. Having a bad mental health day is not the reason to pull out of a massive festival. SO SO SO glad I didn't get tickets because I'd be furious. There are other great acts to go see and I'd had made the best of it but I'm also confused at what All Things Go is supposed to do for her set now? Maybe someone else will step up to play both days? It's THE DAY BEFORE the festival, not like weeks prior.

Kind of nuts. She's one of those people who is not a person with the character for fame despite her obvious talents. I don't see this lasting long for her.

The funny thing is I called this - I told a couple people that I saw her dropping out of some upcoming shows because of all the social media backlash she was getting. She was getting ROASTED on Twitter (rightfully so, her comments about the political candidates were tone deaf as FUCK).

Any attempts to harass me for MY opinion will get you blocked <3

Edited to add: https://www.newsweek.com/chappell-roan-uncle-abortion-missouri-darin-republicans-1959761

YIKEEESSSSSSS

[jillsandwhichs]

Joel Miller x Reader Smutshot Collection , Chap 4 , Between you and me

Masterlist

Pairing: F!Reader x Joel Miller

Summary: Joel is your dad's best friend, he has been since you were a bit younger. Now, you're a College student and Joel still works with your father and is still close with him. Little does your dad know, you and Joel have a little something on the side

Status of your guy's relationship in this one shot: Complicated

WC: 3.4k

Type: NSFW

Warnings: Reader is early 20s & Joel is late 30s, Degrading kink, Blowjob, He cums in your mouth, Making out, Light spanking, Unprotected P in V, Missionary, Pinning & He finishes inside of you

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

You had your earbuds in as you were listening to your study playlist. The current song playing was called 'Take on Me' by A-Ha; It is one of your favorite classics. Currently, you're studying for an environmental science test you have to take in class. Your major has literally nothing to do with it so you have to study extra hard considering you don't know much about the subject. The test is tomorrow morning-just great.

You've been home alone all day.

Your father works from the earlier hours of the morning until the later hours of the day. He is a contractor, he has been since you were a little girl. Ever since your mother, his wife, left the two of you, he's been awfully career focused.

It isn't necessarily a bad thing but you miss your father dearly, all the time. You're glad he's working though, it's a massive distraction. Your mother left the two of you a little over three years ago. Within that time, a lot has changed. You and your dad have grown more distant. You two are close, yes, but he's been too down in the dumps. You've told him numerous times to just go on a dating site or ask a pretty lady out but he completely shuts it down immediately.

That doesn't matter right now though, you have to get it off of your mind.

You've been studying for what feels like forever and you're getting awfully hungry-you've hardly ate today. You tend not to. The stress of school causes you to forget to. You know your dad will be home soon, it's possible he'll bring home some dinner. Practically everyday he does since he can't cook and he also doesn't want to burden you with cooking either.

Until he's home, you'll just focus on your school work.

You've been flipping through this damned pamphlet for like an hour and have gotten barley any progress done. It's hard to. You've got so many things on your mind. Your mother, your friends, Joel...

Shit, Joel...

He floods your mind constantly.

Admittedly, you've been hooking up with your dad's best friend. It started back in June-it is September now.

It was when he picked you up from Campus one day. Your dad had asked him to, trusted him to-you two fucked in his truck. You think about it often and how it all went down. One second he was driving, the next he was fingering you then he was deep inside of you as you rode him hard & fast. You'd never came like that before. That dick has some powers or something.

Then it happened again when you dropped lunch off to your dad at work.

Joel caught and glimpse of you and pretended to want to show you something in his little office then boom, he had you in his desk as he pounded into you.

You can't help but think about him. You get so wet at the simple mere thought of him. He knows what he does to you; He knows damn well. Whenever you two sext, he makes sure you cum just by his stupid, slutty messages.

You haven't seen him in a week or so and you two haven't hooked up since the last time which was when he fucked you at his place. You had lied to your dad, telling him you were going over to your friend McKennas house but truly, you headed over the Joel's. That's where he ate you out so good then fucked you, lovingly and passionately. You miss it. You miss him.

Suddenly, you heard your dad calling for you from downstairs. It sounded like he was in the kitchen.

"Sweetheart, I'm home, I brought you some dinner!" Yay! You were happy now and you can finally have a break-you totally deserve it. "Coming!" You shouted. You stood up and shut your music off, shutting your bedroom door as you exited it. You stammered down the stairs with haste, excited to eat. It smelt like Mexican food, you could smell it anywhere. You usually get the chimichanga with orange rice, it is heavenly!!!

Hopping off of the last step, you adjusted your tank top and walked through the open archway that led into the kitchen. On the marble island counter, you saw a bag of food and assumed yours was in there too. You glanced over at the brown table in the dining room and saw your dad. "Hi!" You said with a gleeful voice. You treaded to the bag and began to go through it, grabbing out the package with your name written on it. "Hi darling." Your dad said softly, he was already eating.

Were you two about to have an actual father-daughter dinner together? This is bound to end up in the history books.

You brought your container over to the table and right as you were about to sit down, a pair of fingers wrapped around the chair. You knew those fingers immediately-they were inside of you not to long ago. What the hell is Joel doing here? "Oh yeah, forgot to say something, Joel is here. He offered to put your new dresser together. You know I would darling but I have paperwork to do in my Study." This is just your fucking luck.

"Hey." Joel whispered, gazing at you. "Hi Joel." You breathed in deeply. The eye contact between the two of you was intense and clearly had sexual tension hosted in it. Your father cleared his throat and pointed at the chair. Joel pulled it out for you and you sat down and began to eat.

"I can get started on the dresser now. Where's it at?" Joel asked your father. "Just upstairs in her room. First door on your right." "Alrighty." Joel nodded and walked off.

You couldn't believe your goddamn dad let Joel go into your room to build your dresser. At this point, you'd rather do it yourself. It's not that you dislike Joel, not at all, but it's so difficult to be around the man. He makes you so aroused so easily. You practically need him.

You cut into a piece of the food and took a bite, chewing quickly. Your father was eating his dinner as well, he ordered some tacos, that's his usual. "How was work?" You asked. "Boring. We had to men fired today, bout goddamn time." You nodded at his words. "How's College been?" "Stressful." "You're a smart girl, I bet you're doing amazing." Your father praised you which honestly felt amazing.

"I have a test tomorrow on environmental science, I'm frustrated studying for it." "I'd help if I could but I never took that class. Just try your best, my dear, you'll do just fine." You were grateful for his confidence in you.

The food was really good, especially the rice. It felt great to finally eat. "Is your food good?" "Yeah dad, thank you for getting me some." "Of course." He welcomed you. You continued to eat. There was an urge though-an urge to go and check on Joel. Not necessarily check up on him, rather jump in his pants. You need him, the urge is present and so very clear.

You decided to eat a bit more before you'd excuse yourself.

"I was thinking that this weekend I'll stay over at Lydia's." "Lydia? You haven't spoken of her in a while." Wow! He actually noticed! There's a dad point for him. "Yeah well, girls fight, it's what we do. I miss her though. We want to see that new movie." "Do you need any money?" "No thanks dad, I have some." You assured him. In all actuality, Joel gave you some money recently, he enjoys spoiling you.

You scooped up some rice and ate it, chewing more slowly now. You didn't want to seem as if you were in a rush, that would just make this dinner awkward. You love your father, truly, you don't want to make him feel as though you want to get away from him. Your yearn for Joel is just so much more.

"We should have Chinese food tomorrow." You giggled, sipping from your water bottle. "That's funny because I was going to order that tonight but I switched last minute." Your dad chuckled. "We can definitely have Chinese tomorrow." You two smiled at each other. You love spending time with your dad like this.

After taking a couple more bites, you cleared your throat and sipped your water. "Dad, I'm gonna go help Joel. I feel bad after all, I could be building it." A little white lie can take you far. "Sure thing darling, I'll put your food away. I'll just be in the basement doing my work, ok? Holler if you need me, either one of yous." "Got it. Love you, thanks for dinner, it was tasty." You kissed your dad on the head and rushed up the stairs; So much for not seeming urgent.

You heard the sound of shuffling as you walked up the stairs. He must've already started working. You were nervous. You two haven't talked one on one in a bit.

Entering your bedroom, you saw Joel's burly figure kneeled as he was screwing some pieces together. He looked up at you with a smirk before talking, "Hey sweet thing." "Hi Joel." You kneeled down beside him. There were screws and other random teeny parts beside him. He was determined to get this dresser complete for you. There was also a toolbox a few inches from his body.

"Do you need any help?" "Not at all, this is easy." "Okay." You chuckled. You were extra nervous now, very much on edge. The tension between you two was something else. You wish you had the balls to just make a move.

The dresser appeared to only be in the beginning stages of completion. It wasn't surprising, he only started minutes ago. "Thank you for doing this." "S'okay, anytime, anything for you." He hummed.

You finally built the courage to say something to him, anything. Anything that would indicate you yearned for him, longed for him.

Joel stood up and walked over to your other dresser, grabbing some random miscellaneous tool. "I've been thinking about you." You admired. You were still on your knees, just looking up at him as he stared down at you. "That a fact?" "Mhm." You nodded. "Been thinkin' 'bout you too baby." Joel whispered. You looked behind you and scooted over to your bedroom door, closing it & locking it all while remaining on your knees.

"You have?" "I always am." Joel grunted, ambling towards you. You wanted him even more now. He's so attractive, so sexy. "What have you been thinking about?" "You know... Your face, your body, your touch and how good it would feel if you had me down your throat." He was such an ass in the best way possible. You giggled and looked down at his crotch area. He was wearing his work pants with a leather belt. "Is that what you want?" "Hm?" "For me to give you a blowjob?" You said seductively, slowly inching your way towards him.

He got the hint and chuckled. "What if your dad hears?" "He won't, he said he's going down to his study." You reassured him. Your hands were already at his belt. He scoffed and snickered. "Such a dirty girl, you're so needy." He slightly degraded you. He knows you're into it. "You need me down your throat." Joel grunted. You messed with his belt till you tossed it to the side, quickly pulling his stained jeans down along with his briefs.

His erect cock sprung out. He was rock hard. He's also so big, so long, so girthy. You've never had it so good. You gazed up at him, your eyes locking with his dark brown eyes. You licked your lips sexually and bit the lower one-pre-cum squirting out of his tip as you did. "Goddamn baby." He groaned, admiring you. You smiled and looked down at his member. It was directly in front of you, just waiting to feel your pretty wet lips around it. You did in fact need him down your throat. You want to feel his warm seed seep down your tight throat.

You wrapped your pink lips around his pale tip. You licked up his pre-cum, allowing it to coat your tongue. You heard him moan from above you. It's adorable how easily you get him going. He tasted amazing. "You're so pretty." He whispered, standing still and just letting you do your thing.

You shoved your head forward, taking him deep in your mouth. His cock is so big, you practically feel like you're choking on him anytime you blow him off; He loves it though. You held onto the base of his dick as you sucked him off, occasionally looking up at him. The first time you glanced up, his eyes were closed due to the intense pleasures but the second time, he was looking down at you. The look in his eyes was dark and stern. He looks so sexy when he's horny.

"Choke on me baby, that's it, good girl." Joel praised you. You love that too. You share not only a degrading kink, but a praising one too-you are a two in one deal.

Bobbing your head forward and backwards, you began to move it faster. You couldn't wait to feel him release. Him cum doesn't taste bad. You love it. You're obsessed with Joel in a way words couldn't describe. It's hard to explain. You don't particularly think you love him or are in love with him but... Maybe? You licked his tip, then all the way down his hardened dick, earning a twitch out of it. "Feels so damn good." He muttered, his hand going to your hair, the other remaining at his side.

The sounds of you gagging on his dick filled the room. Your spit was all around him and dripping onto the floor-you couldn't help it. He made a 'tsk' noise.

"Oh pretty baby, drooling for me, hm?" He teased. With his hand in your hair, he tugged your head upwards so you'd be looking at him. The grip he had on your hair was firm. "I'm gonna cum." Joel grunted, pushing your head for you now. All you did was use your tongue. You just kept slurping and sliding your wet tongue along the base of his length.

With only a few more licks & sucks, you felt his warm, gooey fluid flood down your throat. Like the good girl you are, you swallowed every last drop for him. "Jesus Christ..." He panted out, still holding your soft, silky hair. "That's it darlin'." Joel murmured.

You pulled away, wiping away the excess cum from your lips, cleaning them off. You looked up at him with watery eyes and he cooed. "Come here princess." You listened, you couldn't. You can't resist him.

As you began to lift yourself up, he pulled you into him. Your lips pressed against his. His hands went to your ass cheeks, squeezing both of them as he slipped his tongue into your wet, needy mouth. "Mmph." You moaned, caressing his scruff as the two of you made out passionately. You loved feeling his tongue in your mouth-you could just think about it flicking your clit. "Need to fuck you." He growled, bringing his hand to your ass, hard.

You giggled against his lips, sliding your tongue along his.

"Do you think you could be quick & quiet." "I know I can, the question is, can you?" Joel teased, caressing your ass as the two of you made out. It felt so good, so pleasurable. Yes, you could. Anything for him. You nodded, indicating you could. You seriously need him-now.

Joel practically tossed you onto your bed. You snickered and pulled your shorts down, along with your panties. Joel's eyes were stuck on your lower half the entire time, he was clearly enthralled. "Are you going to sit there and gawk or fuck me?" You bit your lip, laying your head against your soft, large pillows. He scoffed and mounted you, his arms holding himself up on either side of you. "This what you want babygirl?" "You know I want it, I need it." You were basically begging at this point.

With a chuckle, Joel pumped himself a couple times before aligning his cock with your entrance. You were still beyond soaked-it'd be enough lubricant. You were a bit nervous. With your father in the same house, just two stories below, he could potentially hear the two of you. You'll just pray for the best; Joel can keep you silent.

You winced slightly as he pushed his girthy dick inside of you, it was extremely hard; You were surprised he was able to come back from his high so quickly. "Joel..." You whimpered, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I know baby, I know." He grunted, becoming used to the feeling of your tight cunt around him. "Missed this." He whispered to you. He brought himself down to your face, kissing you a few times before he began to thrust into you at a decent pace, knowing you could take it.

With every movement, you could feel him going deeper inside of you. His cock rubbed so well against your clenched walls. You needed this, and you got it. You love it whenever he fucks you; You go dumb on his dick.

You couldn't help but watch his face, the way it contorted and shifted. You are honored by the way you're able to make him feel. He gets pussy drunk so easily. "You're so damn tight." He groaned, his mouth agape as he stared down at you. The stare the two of you shared was loving and lustful. You two needed each other. You would've never imagined you'd be getting fucked by your dad's friend but, here you are. Here the two of you are.

As he picked up the pace, his force got rougher. His pelvis was slamming into you; Your thighs will definitely be bruised after this. Your bed was slightly creaking to, but not loud enough to where your father may hear. "Just like that." You whined. Your head tilted backwards. The pleasure is immense, it's so much.

Joel slowly removed your arms from around your neck as he pinned them to the bed. You love being able to touch him just as much as you love being restrained. "Wish we could do this more often," Joel hummed, "I love seeing you like this baby." He added on. You giggled, gazing at him. "I need this more often." "Ya, you do, don't ya?" Joel was so cocky. "Need me inside of you, always." You moaned at his words. He isn't wrong.

At this point, he was pounding into you. Every thrust, every slip & slide, every movement in general was bringing you closer and closer to your breaking point.

"You feel so fuckin' good."

"I wanna see you cum around me."

"Gonna fill this pretty pussy up."

Each sentence also brought you closer. He is such a dirty man.

"Look at you, lookin' dumbed out as I fuck you."

"Just a little dirty slut."

"Keep takin' it darlin'."

Every. Sentence.

"I think I'm gonna cum." You whined. You attempted to get your wrists out of his grasp but your attempts were futile. "Please, don't stop." You begged, closing your eyes tightly. "Mmm, cum for me." And just like that, you did. Just by his words, you can so easily finish.

You moaned softly. Your entire back arched as your orgasm washed over you. You could feel your already tight walls clench further, and that only helped Joel cum sooner. You felt his semen spill inside of you, marking it's territory. "Goddammit." You heard Joel mumble under his breath.

Both of you were shaking with pleasure as you two both came down from your high. Sadly, no aftercare can happen, your father is just downstairs-no risks.

"That was perfect." Joel whispered, leaning up at kissing your nose, then your forehead. You laughed and breathed in deeply, "I'll be thinking of this next time I touch myself." "Oh babygirl, you better." Joel snickered, kissing you passionately before unfortunately having to pull away.

"C'mon sweet thing, let's get dressed before your daddy comes up here." "Ugh, alright." You obliged.

What a perfect evening...

[howlingday]

Taiyang: So you want to be a Harem Protag, huh?

Jaune, confused: No, not really?

Taiyang: Too bad, The Fandom is making you one.

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RWBY Harem Protag

Supplemental Form

So, you've finally got the nerve to ask that cool drink of water you've been sweet on and she finally talked back? Your childhood friend, whom you haven't seen in ten years (according to the fics), has just come back into town and you're already getting along like you never separated. And your big sister has taken to cooking you some wholesome American Canadian lunchboxes full of jelly donuts, hash browns, and mashed potatoes croissants, maple syrup, and poutine. You're probably feeling pretty good about yourself, huh?

NOW STOP.

Because you've found yourself in a dangerous situation that has spelled disaster for many young men like yourself across this great kingdom of ours. You are now the protagonist of a HAREM ANIME, and if you don't act quickly, it could destroy your entire life.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "How could this possibly be a bad thing? Girls chasing after me left and right? Who could be unhappy about that?" You could, son, because your life is now in a state of karmic imbalance.

For every bit of fortune you experience with the opposite sex, there will be equal misfortune in everything else. You must prepare yourself for a string of disasters that could ruin your life and enough accidental sexual misconduct to start your own hashtag.

By the way, you better be taking notes on this because odds are that you're fucking dense as fuck, and probably the worst fucking character ever written.

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DO NOT PANIC.

This is especially important for you because if you do panic, you're gonna end up stripping or groping someone. The laws of the universe itself are now conspiring to have as many female friends of yours to end up naked in front of you as humanly possible.

It's like Murphy's Law; what can go wrong will go wrong, and anything that can go wild will go wild.

Practice your balance and maintain awareness of your surroundings, especially behind you. If not, someone will bump into you and then your hand ends up down her skirt and your face goes into her tits and then there will be a second girl behind you for you to bump your face into her ass. You might think you can avoid this by never going outside, but if you do, all of your female friends will converge on your location to make sure you're okay.

One will arrive first and the second will arrive just in time to find you both in a compromising and erotic position after you stumble into the first girl while trying to be a good host and getting her some donuts and Canadian beer. This happens every time, without fail.

Don't bother asking your parents for help. They've already fucked off to another kingdom and threw away their scrolls.

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REMEMBER YOUR ABCs.

AWARENESS. BALANCE. CLENCHED FISTS.

You can't strip or grope someone if your hand isn't open. However, this will result in you punching a lot of tits.

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IDENTIFY YOUR HAREM.

Utilizing the prior form, you can identify your harem members by the "Tropes" they exhibit. These tropes will determine their entire personalities. These tropes will graviate to the most boring fucking character in the series, that's you by the way, and will be drawn to your complete lack of character or personality like magnets to a pole.

The first trope to identify is the "Tsundere," who will appear as a cold front that gets warmer over time. This shifting in personality will be the one responsible for the most change in your harem. There is always, at minimum, on tsundere present, though scientists are still unsure as to why. You can easily identify the tsundere by her iconic catchphrase, "It's not because I like you, b-baka." You can also identify her by her being a massive fucking bitch to you, like, all the fucking time. In fact, don't forget to guard your head as most harem protagonists receive some form of massive head trauma as a result of a tsundere retaliation, which results in failure to read social cues or MAKING UP THEIR FUCKING MINDS FOR THE LOVE OF REMNANT JESUS!

However, this danger pales in comparison to the second trope to be aware of, the "Yandere". You can compare the yandere to a tornado, as she will absolutely fuck shit up around her in her attempt to keep you at the center of her world. You can identify her by her too sweet smile or by calling you a pet name like "darling" even though she knows your real name. If you find yourself in this scenario, you only have one option: RUN! AND RUN FAST! You will need to fake your death, move to another kingdom (preferably on a different continent), and assume a new identity there. If you require help, please do not hesitate to view the prior film in this series, "SO YOU THINK YOU'RE A NIKOS?"

Encounters with yandere girls are rare, but once again, because you are the absolute fucking worst person to have ever been brought into this world, the yandere will naturally gravitate to you by shifting from one of the other tropes in your harem because you decided to do something fucking stupid and childish like you always fucking do, you fucking stupid child.

There are other tropes that may enter your harem, ranked in order of the danger they pose to your life.

The "Sadodere" named so for their sadistic tendencies, are the most likely to harm you to derive pleasure for themselves. This can be good fun between consenting adults in a controlled environment with a safe word, but in your day-to-day life it will only cause problems for you. On her own, the sadodere is an annoyance, but her tendency to lie and manipulate others around her can amplify the dangers that may occur in a harem system. Fortunately, the sadodere is easy to identify the instant she stops acting nice, so keep your distance once this happens (unless you're into that), and if any other girls are mad at you, ask the sadodere if she was involved in one way or another, then ask her to clear things up once she fesses up that she did.

(Note: Image of Gillian Asturias not found. Backup himedere image posted in her place.)

The "Himedere", also known as "oujo" or "princess" is almost as arrogant and demanding as the sadodere with the exception that she's not likely to cover her facade with sweetness. You can spot a himedere from a mile way by her haughty demeanor, but if you're unsure, which let's be real you are, you can also identify them by their signature vocal call.

OOOOOOHOHOHOHO~!

In the early development stages of a harem, the himedere stubbornness may prove troublesome. However, she is unlikely to be prone to violence like the tsundere, so your only concern is any servants she may have under her employ, all of whom are likely retired assassins in some branch or another. You'd honestly be surprised by how many hitmen make the jump to domestic servitude.

Next, we have the "genki girl," also known as the Deredere. Warm and sunny, but still quite chaotic. You can identify her by her interests in things like "sportsball" or her cheery, comforting smile. She is the least dangerous of the tropes EXCEPT in the vicinity of the tsundere in which her oblivious, good-natured affection will likely get you punched. REPEATEDLY. There is a possibility the deredere is secretly a yandere, so watch out for tell-tale signs such as use of the word "brave and fearless leader" and frequent disappearances of cats and other small animals when she is near.

Finally, the "Kuudere", literally translating to "cool dere", and "Dandere" are quiet and mostly stick to themselves, one from detachment and lack of emotion with the other out of shyness. Both can be identified by their general lack of speech. When approached, a kuudere will respond cynically and pragmatically, while a dandere will respond by blushing and stammering. Neither pose a substantial threat, though it is advised you check on the kuudere once per day just to make sure she's not dead.

There are further variations of these tropes you may encounter, including the drunken older harlot "Yottadere" and the "Kanedere" who want your money. However, it is highly unlikely that your harem will include either of these two, and if it does, they won't really matter.

By and large, 99% of harems include the girls listed prior on this list, all with just slightly different hair colors and styles.

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It should be noted that your sister, either younger or older, may be involved in the goings-on of your harem, even showing signs that match one of these tropes. She may appear as the deredere, kuudere, or the tsundere. This used to be a rare occurrence, but in the recent decades, it has become much more common. Modern scientists are blaming global climate, but regardless of the cause, if this happens to you, you only need to follow one simple rule, one key thing above all else...

(Flip to side B)