#this thing has me thinking about the sacrifice so much. I need to make a list of sacrifice hcs
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This was the very first thing by you that I ever read and I fell in love with it as well as your writing!!! One of my favorite Dean scenes in the later seasons is the dream Sam has with the pizza and pie, and Mary calling him "little piglet...with love". Plus you included the Latin flair on one of my favorite holidays, girl, my heart was bursting at the seams as I read this while also drooling while also slightly jealous of Dean LOL. (you should know as I'm typing this I am daydreaming about the flan, you should just straight up know that LOL)
The rich custardy goodness is calling to him like a siren song.
I am happily being led while pushing Dean out of the way to get to it first. Lovingly of course lol.
“You’d also be 300 pounds,” Sam remarks, taking a sip of his beer. You eye Sam with a frown. But Dean just laughs it off and cuts his little brother a slice.
Not going to lie, I'd be giving Sam a little bit of the stink eye myself. What is so wrong with Dean enjoying himself a little? Besides...give me ALL the flan!!! Sam doesn't know what he's missing.
“Thanks, sweetheart,” he says. His voice is a quiet, deep rumble washing over you. You know what he’s thanking you for: good food, and a small, but warm Christmas.
This made me smile because it is so sweet and so Dean. ❤️
“He ate half his weight in pig,” Sam says. You can’t exactly deny that, but you cross your arms and turn to him, leaning your hip against the counter. “So? It’s Christmas. Let him be happy,” you retort.
Exactly. Let the man enjoy it.
“Even though you guys didn’t have enough money at times, your brother always made sure you were fed,” you explain. You meet Sam’s gaze, squeezing his arm. “Sometimes he went without.” Sam’s expression slowly slackens, contemplative and dismayed at what you’re implying. He dries his hands on a kitchen towel and rubs at his mouth, like he’s reeling back the years of evidence in his mind and trying to confirm if you were right. “You don’t remember?” you gently ask. Sam shakes his head. “I mean, I knew things were tight. I remember him taking care of me, obviously. But…” He doesn’t remember his brother going hungry. It carves a hole of remorse in his chest.
This right here is perfection. It made my heart break for Dean as well as Sam for their childhood, what Dean had to sacrifice at times to take care of Sam, how Sam never realized it before...just so perfectly written and so on point.
You slide into bed next to him and lay your head on his chest. He groans deep and slowly lowers his arms. One of them wraps around your frame.
Okay, this is just beyond sweet. Literally made me
Moments like this are worth melting for. 😉 (seriously though, I'm pretty sure I have to call someone to get the wetvac to get me up off of the floor)
The whole ending scene just makes my heart glad, especially with her offering to go for a walk with Dean, most likely keeping in mind what Sam said (while Sam is keeping what she said in mind - like I said, perfection!) , but I especially loved the ending sequence right here:
Dean makes a sound of mild interest in the idea. “I guess, if you like stringy trees and frozen lakes.” It’s winter in Lebanon. Not much to look at. You smirk and press a kiss to his chest. “I mean, that, and you in some little Richard Simmons shorts.” Dean gives you a look, and you giggle so hard it shakes your whole body against him. “Honestly, I think that’ll really do it for me,” you tease. You walk two fingers across his thigh, where a cute pair of ‘80s-style exercise shorts would cut off. Dean grabs your hand and rolls you over, pinning you underneath him on the bed. His thigh slips between both of yours, causing friction against your jeans. And he smirks down at you. “Sweetheart, I don’t do shorts.”
Oh, Dean, nice try. We all know you do. 😉
This was just beyond sweet and it was something I very much needed back when I read through it the first time. (I'm sorry I didn't leave feedback until now! I'm trying to be better about that these days) I love the way you write the Winchesters and this one shot cemented you as one of my favorite writers I've come across in this fandom (as well as a few others 😉).
I definitely cannot wait to dive into the Midnight Espresso verse and get more of these two. You did a beautiful job here, lovely!!! Well done!!! 😊💖💖
Get Stuffed
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-sized Latina!Reader
Summary: Dean enjoys the way you cook Christmas dinner with a Latin flair, even if Sam likes to tease him about his insatiable appetite. You remind Sam about the true reason behind one of Dean’s biggest quirks.
AN: This was requested by my lovely friend @iprobablyshipit91: Sam making the usual digs at Dean about his diet, and how much he eats, and the reader pulling him aside and telling him to back off as he doesn’t realize how much Dean went hungry as a kid to make sure Sam was fed.
Word Count: 1,800 Tags/Warnings: Fluff, innuendo, tinge of angst
**This story can be read as stand-alone, but you can also check out the full masterlist of one-shots below. ⤵️
☕ Midnight Espresso Masterlist
“Aw, hell yeah,” Dean mutters. He rubs his hands together and surveys the immovable feast that’s about to get shoveled into his mouth.
This Christmas marks roughly your first year living with the brothers Winchester in the bunker, and a few months after your first anniversary with Dean.
He’s made it very clear that he enjoys your cooking, especially of Cuban food. So you’ve gone all out for Christmas: white rice and your grandmother’s recipe for black beans, boiled yuca with plenty of garlic, bread drizzled with more garlic and olive oil, and Dean’s favorite…
“What’s this part of the pig called again?” he asks. And he uses a large fork to spear into the mountain of roasted meat that you’ve already cut and piled onto a platter.
You come in from the kitchen with the bread in hand, placing it on the dinner table. You sidle up behind him, where he's seated.
“The shoulder,” you say, squeezing both of Dean’s. He hums in interest as you press a kiss to the side of his head. “It’s called pernil. Marinated with garlic, mojo, bunch of good stuff.”
He predictably steals a juicy piece of meat, plopping it into his mouth. He grins while he chews and makes a happy sound.
“Ohoho, yeah.”
You share an amused look with Sam, who sits beside his brother. By the time you’ve found your seat on Dean’s other side, he’s already serving you and Sam the same hefty portions he serves himself.
You know for a fact you’re only going to eat about half of your plate. Sam manages to polish his off. Dean does as well…and serves himself twice more before you break out the dessert.
“Please tell me that’s a flan,” Dean says, drumming his fingers on the table.
“How the hell are you still hungry?” Sam asks.
The look on his face says he’s half entertained, half disgusted. Dean is still sucking on the crispy skin on a piece of pork. He licks the juices off his fingers.
“Have I taught you nothing?” he says. “There’s always room for dessert.”
He tosses you a wink, followed closely by a suggestive smirk. You glance at him with a smile as you set down the metal pan.
“It is a flan,” you affirm. “I tried my hand at coconut this time.”
“Ooh, tropical,” Dean says, waggling greasy fingers. He wipes them on a napkin before he reaches for the pie cutter, which is usually reserved for his favorite dessert. Although, flan is rapidly becoming his second go-to. The rich custardy goodness is calling to him like a siren song.
“How can I get you to make this more often?” Dean mutters while carving out a generous slice.
Your lips curve. You rest your chin on your hand and lean towards him, earning his gaze. “If I made it all the time, you wouldn’t savor it, now would you?”
Dean smirks. His gaze lowers to your lips, like he’s contemplating some persuasive maneuvers.
“You’d also be 300 pounds,” Sam remarks, taking a sip of his beer.
You eye Sam with a frown. But Dean just laughs it off and cuts his little brother a slice.
By the end of the meal, all three of you are stuffed. Dean groans and leans back in his seat. A gurgle mounts audibly from his stomach.
“Jesus. Are you erupting?” Sam says.
Dean holds up a finger. “Wait for it.”
You give your boyfriend a bemused look. You know exactly what’s about to happen. As does Sam, who’s grimacing.
A few seconds later, Dean does erupt, with a truly legendary belch.
“Nice,” you say wryly. Dean squeezes your soft, thick thigh and backs his chair away from the table.
“Well, since I roasted the pig and you did the rest, I’d say it’s Sammy’s turn on cleaning duty,” he says.
“Thanks,” Sam says, with a wan smile. Yours is more jovial, even as Dean’s hand toys with a curl of your hair after he stands.
“I’m gonna shower off the meat sweats,” he says.
You giggle, but you nod. “You do that. I’ll help Sam a bit, put away the food at least.”
Your smile becomes more genuine when Dean drops a kiss on your forehead from above.
“Thanks, sweetheart,” he says. His voice is a quiet, deep rumble washing over you. You know what he’s thanking you for: good food, and a small, but warm Christmas.
You reach up and give his cheek a tender touch, before he withdraws and makes his way to the bedroom he shares with you. It leaves you and Sam to collect what’s on the table and bring it all into the kitchen. While Sam does the dishes, you start to put away the leftovers.
Something has been nagging at you all night, though you’ve tried to stamp it down time and time again. You don’t know if it's your place to say something. Especially if Dean doesn’t seem bothered…but it bothers you. And you’ve never been one to hold your tongue.
“Hey, can I ask you something?” you begin, even as a small bit of trepidation niggles inside you.
Sam looks over at you. He’s quick to catch the serious note in your demeanor.
“Yeah, what’s up?” he replies. You okay? his eyes also ask.
“Why do you get on Dean so much for enjoying his food?” you ask.
Sam blinks. Then he scoffs a little. “There’s enjoying, and then there’s gluttony.”
“He’s not that bad,” you argue.
“He ate half his weight in pig,” Sam says. You can’t exactly deny that, but you cross your arms and turn to him, leaning your hip against the counter.
“So? It’s Christmas. Let him be happy,” you retort.
Sam levels you with pinched brows. “He’s not in his 20s anymore. All that crap he eats is going to catch up to him someday.”
“What, you expect him to down some kale smoothies?” you reply, giving a pointed brow raise and a teasing smile. “Get up at the crack of dawn for a bare-chested run?”
Sam shoots you a dry look.
“My point is, I’m not gonna survive hundreds of monster attacks just to get taken down by cholesterol,” he says.
You sigh a raise a placating hand. “All right. I get what you’re saying. I’m just saying…have you ever thought about why he loves food so much? Why he overindulges sometimes?”
Sam's brow quirks. It’s a question you know you need to tread lightly in order to answer. You uncross your arms to lay a hand on Sam’s wrist. He stops washing dishes and turns off the sink to give you his full attention, sensing your shift.
You look up at him, and you steel yourself.
“He might’ve mentioned once…that you two sometimes had a hard time growing up. With John taking you guys from motel to motel while he was working a job, and every now and then, leaving you guys alone longer than he meant to.”
Dean had been more than a bit drunk when you’d gotten this out of him. Hearing about that aspect of his upbringing had upset you, not just as someone who cared about him, but the caretaker in you smarted.
“Even though you guys didn’t have enough money at times, your brother always made sure you were fed,” you explain. You meet Sam’s gaze, squeezing his arm. “Sometimes he went without.”
Sam’s expression slowly slackens, contemplative and dismayed at what you’re implying. He dries his hands on a kitchen towel and rubs at his mouth, like he’s reeling back the years of evidence in his mind and trying to confirm if you were right.
“You don’t remember?” you gently ask.
Sam shakes his head. “I mean, I knew things were tight. I remember him taking care of me, obviously. But…”
He doesn’t remember his brother going hungry.
It carves a hole of remorse in his chest.
This isn’t the first time he’s had to reexamine Dean’s role in his life, and not the first time he’s felt this flavor of guilt. But he sighs and really doesn’t know what to say.
You seem to realize that, and you squeeze his arm one last time.
“Just keep that in mind,” you implore.
You soon leave him to venture upstairs, but there in the kitchen, Sam makes a resolution before the new year. One that includes having a conversation with his brother.
You find Dean in your bedroom. Now in his most threadbare sweatpants and an old black shirt, he lays over the covers on the bed. His eyes are closed and his arms are folded behind his head, but he hears you when you come in.
You slide into bed next to him and lay your head on his chest. He groans deep and slowly lowers his arms. One of them wraps around your frame.
“Think I overdid it a bit,” he admits, cracking his eyes open. You smile and gently pat his stomach.
“Wanna go for a walk tomorrow?” you ask. “We can go down to the park.”
Dean raises a brow at you. “You hate walking.”
“Not true,” you shake your head, before you rest more comfortably against him. He tucks you in beside him and begins to run his fingers down your arm. It’s a bit distracting.
“Could be nice, with the right view,” you add, though you shiver a little at his touch.
Dean makes a sound of mild interest in the idea. “I guess, if you like stringy trees and frozen lakes.”
It’s winter in Lebanon. Not much to look at.
You smirk and press a kiss to his chest. “I mean, that, and you in some little Richard Simmons shorts.”
Dean gives you a look, and you giggle so hard it shakes your whole body against him.
“Honestly, I think that’ll really do it for me,” you tease. You walk two fingers across his thigh, where a cute pair of ‘80s-style exercise shorts would cut off.
Dean grabs your hand and rolls you over, pinning you underneath him on the bed. His thigh slips between both of yours, causing friction against your jeans. And he smirks down at you.
“Sweetheart, I don’t do shorts.”
AN: 😂 A little callback to S1 at the end there. I hope you guys liked this! Just in time to prepare for my Christmas cooking! ❤️💚
Keep Reading:
Next up in this series is "A Wish to Build a Dream On":
Summary: Dean has been harboring the archangel Michael in his mind for weeks now, putting a strain on your relationship as you struggle to help him. When Dean makes a wish that accidentally brings his father back from the dead, you get to meet the (in)famous John Winchester. But as always with magic, your boyfriend’s wish has unintended consequences.
▶️ Next Story: A Wish to Build a Dream On
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#fic recs#get stuffed#zepskies#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x latina!reader#midnight espresso-verse
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It keeps me up at night thinking about how Illario shouldn't be First Talon because he's done anything wrong (by Crow standards) but because he's doing everything RIGHT.
This is just me connecting dots from various story sources but all the information we have on him suggests that he does what (current time) Crows do to absolute perfection down to a T. He's cunning, he lies, he seduces, he cheats, he gets the job done no matter the cost. He's ambitious and is playing the system the way it's intended.
Caterina is an interesting phenomenon because we can assume she has been First Talon and alive for so many damn years (kinda scary strong ngl lmao), which means she has witnessed an incredible amount of change, and I do believe she wants to steer the Crows back to their somewhat freedom fighter form from the past - by trying to unite them to fight for a better cause, like defending Antiva from the Antaaam invasion (Eight Little Talons). But she's also aging and needs someone to continue this fight for her. Lucanis meanwhile is a rather soft personality for a Crow Assassin, and while not perfect, his morality compass is pretty strong - he refuses to kill the elf girl who spots them in Wigmaker Job because it would just be killing an (already downtrodden) innocent - while Illario encourages him to clean up and leave no witnesses (the practical, correct choice from an Assassin pov).
Teia even comments that Illario is a good assassin but Lucanis' jobs tend to have so many more fires to put out than the regular and I believe it's because he always makes things harder for himself in order to spare as many collaterals as possible. So what I imagine happened is that Illario in trying to get as much of his grandmother's approval (just as much as Lucanis) has done everything RIGHT in an effort to please her and prove he's got what it takes, but he can never win because it's never what Caterina intended, and honestly that's so tragic to me. He was playing the game right all along but it was an entirely different game. (The ultimate line crossed was him sacrificing Lucanis for his ambition, and doing so because it's what's expected. I do not believe Illario to be as one note as he ended up in the game at all, I think he actually does genuinely care about Lucanis except for the fact that Crows need to be prepared to make the right sacrifice for the job and love cannot play a part in that - see Zevran's polycule.)
#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#caterina dellamorte#dragon age the veilguard#datv#dragon age#rambles#sorry for the word salad I have so many feelings#I doubt I've managed to express everything correctly but I am obsessed with the amount of tragedy happening within this family haha#word salad
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Take I haven't seen in the fandom yet:
Luka doesn't want to be freed.
"Now, MirrorCatCreditcard," you may say, "that's nonsense. Any human would want freedom from that system."
If you're thinking I'm gonna convince you that Luka doesn't know he wants freedom yet, you're wrong. I'm here to talk about indoctrination/conditioning, grooming/emotional manipulation, my own experience with those topics, and how all of the above connects with Luka as a character. If a deep dive like this is too much for you, please tap out for your own sake.
Luka's life was planned before he even existed. There has never ever been an alternative option. There is no life for Luka as anything but what Herperu chose. Everything in his life has been planned to have him be the perfect pet human idol. That is what he must be.
Fandom, I don't think most of you actually understand this and have dissected what this means (shout-out to the Luka stans who are getting there/have guessed similar things). These words we know have alternatives and are not set in stone are Luka's "gravity makes rain fall to the earth" and "water makes things wet." They are facts so deeply ingrained within him that even if shown the contrary he remarks that the person showing them is just disillusioned.
Take his commentary on Mizi and Hyun-A in the art book. He looks down on Mizi for not being able to control any of her emotions. How does he talk about Hyun-A? He has her at 70% affection yet shows a patronizing attitude—she's the one in denial at reality.
Now, how did we get here? How is a human so "delusional" and set in the control?
He's been conditioned.
Some of you don't know what I mean by this from experience and/or research, and count yourself fortunate that you don't. I pray you never experience such things firsthand. Don't worry about ignorance. Familiar or not, I will explain.
When you are surrounded by only one truth and reality, that is the way you interpret life. If a parent tells a child "the moon goes to sleep during the day," until the child learns otherwise, that's what they believe. Now take that child-like belief and add some toxic environments to the mix. With time, any other kid would learn that the earth rotates from their peers or adults around them. But if the creatures around them all say and believe the same thing "the moon goes to sleep during the day," then that is what the child continues to believe. Years of that same thing being the only truth make that false knowledge into a fact in the person's head, and everything that supports that fact is taken as truth or on the right path to truth.
"This is kinda silly though," you guys are no doubt murmuring, "All of this is a hypothetical. Give us something that makes sense or that someone could actually see happen in our society."
I'll give you my own experience then. My parents taught me that God is real. My parents taught me that I will be damned I do not follow the commandments of the scriptures. I didn't need to worry though. As long as I was obedient to the God who loved me and wanted what was best, I would be saved despite being born an awful sinful human. I was homeschooled, only interacted with people of similar beliefs, and taught that people too different from me in ideology or with radical beliefs against my own were trying to harm me and my family. I believed the people who raised me because why would people who love me lie to me? My task was simple. I needed to obey God and love everyone, especially them. Love meant giving up my entire being and living only as servant and sacrifice. After all, being selfless to the utmost was the greatest form of love.
Let's go back to Luka. His guardian, Herperu, when questioned about any surprises while training Luka, stated not only that he was the one who endured the "tough moments" but also that "(Luka) owes his success to me, and naturally, he should be grateful." This sentiment is echoed by Luka in his interview (shown on Patreon). My god, it's giving parents with disabled kids who brag on social media about how much trouble their kid is and how much they do for them. Sickening. This shows exactly what environment Luka has lived in though.
When you are manipulated into having something as your reality, everything else is fiction and delusion.
Let's review what exactly is Luka's reality.
Heperu is the one suffering if Luka has any difficulties being obedient.
Gratitude is what Herperu is owed because he goes through so much trouble to make Luka a star.
Love/care is shown by owning another's autonomy.
Emotions and bodily reactions exist, sure, but someone should be able to control them; and if they can't, someone should control those reactions for them.
Segyein are superior and the good ones for dealing with humans. Humans must be disciplined and shaped to how an segyein wants it to act to be considered deserving of this goodness.
(Luka)'s perfection is defined by his guardian.
Luka's life is directly connected to being the perfect performer. His guardian praises his abilities with the statement that no other pet human will ever be as perfect as him yet leaves an underlying threat saying that it will be no good if a pet is not trained properly. This has probably been mentally (if not physically) beaten into Luka's mind: his greatness doesn't stop him from being able to be disposed of. The human instinct to want to live has been explained to him as Heperu's wish for him to live and that has been further distorted as a duty to live for the stage he has been placed on.
Luka believes fully that there is a debt in play here. In his interview, he mentions repaying love. He thinks the relationship between fan and idol is completely normal, encouraged, and healthy. Performance is the most important thing. Being where he is is a privilege.
There's a chain here:
Heperu indoctrinated Luka into believing what he says is all true.
The guardian manipulated him easily to do what he wanted with his body and mind.
The years have been spent constantly conditioning Luka to be the god who encapsulated fantasies for the audience.
He is continually being groomed to exist for the entertainment and enjoyment of segyein.
Circle back to my first point of this post. Luka does not want to be freed. He doesn't know what freedom actually is. He sees freedom as either foolish denials of reality (and doesn't consider that actual freedom) or as controlling the song and stage when he performs (something he learned from Hyuna). He cannot want something he cannot understand. He cannot want freedom in the sense the fandom keeps speaking about.
It's funny. From the moment Luka was revealed to be hated by the fandom, I wanted to know why. Instead of digging and finding horrific deeds, I instead found a character who portrayed my own traumas and experiences. I instantly attached and delved deeply into learning about this thirty year old singer. Why does he express himself in a certain way? Where do we first see mention of him? Who does he have emotions towards? How was he trained? What makes Luka himself? I have past essays/replies to other's theories if you're interested, but in this one I got personal and didn't sugarcoat the facts. If the fandom can't handle deep thought, we shouldn't be discussing this incredibly profound and depth-filled web series.
As always, thank you for your time, and I hope my thoughts allowed you to open your mind to new things. Mostly, I hope you enjoyed them 🫶
#alnst#alien stage#alnst luka#alien stage luka#luka alnst#luka alien stage#alien stage analysis#alien stage theory#alnst analysis#alnst theory#tw trauma#tw conditioning#tw manipulation#tw abuse#we're dissecting the following triggers btw#in cass you're wondering#take care
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Max' older brother who charles has had a crush on since they first met, where charles figures out that older brother has been holding back in raceing so their dad focuses on him so he doesnt hurt max, and charles is in awe because older brother could have made it into formula 1 a while ago and charles doesnt think hed be able to do something like that if it were him, so charles decides to help male reader as much as he can without being noticed.
I had someone else try and write this to see if theyd been as enthusiastic as you in writing it but no its like they didnt understand the ask @/playinbillie if you want to see what they wrote. Also this was kinda one of the two stories i had for you i didnt actually know the pairing i wanted for this one so i just made it charles, but the other is a oliver x kimi x male reader.
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Unspoken sacrifice — Charles Leclerc x male!reader
Word count— 1777
Fluff slightly angsty
The sound of the engines roaring around the track echoed through Charles' chest as he sat in the stands, his gaze fixed on the cars speeding past. But his attention wasn’t on the race; it was on him—Y/N.
Max's older brother. The one who could’ve been great.
For years, Charles had watched from the sidelines as Y/N, despite his obvious talent, kept himself from rising through the ranks of racing. Every time they’d go karting, every practice session, Y/N would leave everyone in the dust—except for Max. The family dynamic was always clear. Their dad, a former racer himself, was invested in Max. Obsessed with Max.
But Y/N? He was always the silent presence in the background, holding back in ways that didn’t make sense to Charles at first. There was something about Y/N’s racing that seemed... off. Too controlled, too careful, like he was playing a different game entirely. Charles hadn’t realized why until recently.
It was after one of the practice races, as he sat next to Y/N on the cool metal bleachers, watching Max celebrate his victory with their dad, that it clicked.
“Y/N, why didn’t you go for the win?” Charles had asked, his brow furrowing.
Y/N gave him that knowing smile, one that always seemed to hide more than it let on. “Because he needs to be the one who shines. Max... he’s the one Dad focuses on. You know that.”
Charles stared at him, confused. “But you— you could’ve taken that first place. You’ve always been better than me, better than Max.”
Y/N’s gaze shifted toward the ground, his voice quiet. “Sometimes the best thing you can do is step back.”
Charles frowned, his mind racing. “But why? Why hold back? You could’ve been in Formula 1 by now. Why give that up?”
Y/N was silent for a moment, the weight of the years they’d spent together suddenly sinking in. “Because, Charles, if I push too hard, Dad would want me to push Max harder, too. And Max isn’t ready for that. He’s not me. I’d rather see him succeed than risk seeing him burn out.”
Charles was stunned. He hadn’t realized how much Y/N had sacrificed—not just his dreams, but his entire future—for the sake of his younger brother. It wasn’t just about racing. It was about family, about love, about keeping Max safe.
And it broke Charles’ heart.
The thought of his older brother never having the chance to race for real, to chase that Formula 1 dream, made him feel a sharp ache in his chest.
"That's... that's really something, Y/N," Charles said quietly, feeling an overwhelming surge of admiration for the older brother he'd never truly understood before.
Y/N shrugged, a bittersweet smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “It’s what family does, right? You put them first.”
But Charles wasn’t sure if that was enough anymore.
He’d never be able to do what Y/N had done. He would never have the strength to hold back when it mattered, to throw away his own potential for someone else. Y/N had given everything, and Charles had only just realized it.
And now, watching Y/N quietly fade into the background again, Charles made a decision.
“I’m going to help you, Y/N,” Charles said suddenly, surprising even himself. “I don’t know how yet, but I will. I won’t let you fade into the background.”
Y/N looked over at him, a surprised yet knowing look crossing his face. “Charles, you don’t need to—”
“I know,” Charles interrupted, his voice firm. “But I want to.”
Y/N gave a small chuckle, ruffling Charles' hair. “You don’t have to do anything for me, kid. You’ve got your own career to focus on.”
Charles didn’t reply, his mind already planning how he could work in the shadows, how he could help his brother rise again without anyone noticing. Without Max ever knowing.
He wouldn’t let Y/N’s sacrifices be in vain.
And maybe, just maybe, they could still achieve the dream Y/N had set aside for so long.
Over the next few weeks, Charles found himself subtly changing the way he approached his time with Y/N. Every practice session, every karting weekend, he was paying more attention—not just to his own racing, but to his older brother’s every move.
It wasn’t hard to see how much Y/N was holding back. He wasn’t just playing it safe; he was actively limiting his own performance, choosing more cautious lines, braking earlier, and settling for second or third place when he easily could’ve taken the win.
It frustrated Charles more than anything. Watching Y/N squandering his potential, doing exactly what he’d done his entire life: taking a step back for the sake of someone else.
And it made Charles feel helpless. He wanted to shout, to demand that Y/N race to his fullest, that he deserved more than the life of a background player. But he couldn’t. He understood now why Y/N was doing it. He’d made that sacrifice for Max—and maybe even for their father. It wasn’t just about being in the spotlight; it was about keeping the family dynamic intact.
But Charles wasn’t going to let it go on forever.
One night, after a particularly difficult race where Y/N had barely edged out Max for a second-place finish, Charles made up his mind. He needed a plan. He needed to help Y/N, even if he had to do it in secret.
"Y/N," Charles said casually as they were cleaning up their gear, the two of them alone in the garage. Max was off with their dad, discussing strategies for his next race. "Have you ever thought about going to some of those off-season testing events? The ones where they bring in reserve drivers, or... younger talents?”
Y/N gave him a sideways glance, his expression unreadable. “I’ve been to a few. A long time ago. But you know as well as I do, they won’t give me the time of day. Not with Max in the picture.”
“I think you’re wrong.” Charles smiled, trying to hide the excitement bubbling up in him. “What if I can get you into one of those events? Just a test run, no pressure. I’ll set it up.”
Y/N gave him a bemused look. “And how exactly are you going to pull that off? You don’t have the connections—"
Charles leaned in closer, his voice low but confident. "I do now."
For the next few weeks, Charles worked quietly behind the scenes, making calls and sending messages to everyone he knew—engineers, team managers, even his own contacts within the F1 world. It wasn’t easy. Y/N wasn’t exactly a household name, and most people were only interested in the young stars, not a 25-year-old with years of untapped potential. But Charles didn’t care about the odds.
He couldn’t let Y/N’s talent slip away, not when he knew what his brother could truly do.
It was a month later when Charles finally received the response he’d been waiting for—a private testing session for a mid-tier team looking to give fresh talent a shot. It wasn’t Formula 1, not yet, but it was a step in the right direction. A foot in the door.
He waited until the perfect moment, when Y/N wasn’t expecting it, and told him about the opportunity.
“Y/N, I got you a test with an F1 team. You’re going to drive at their private session next week.”
Y/N blinked, looking at him as though Charles had just said something absurd. “What?”
“I did. You’re driving for them next week.”
At first, Y/N didn’t believe it. He laughed, like Charles was making a joke at his expense. But the more Charles pushed, the more he explained how hard he’d worked to arrange it, how he’d bent a few rules and called in a few favors, the more Y/N’s expression shifted from confusion to disbelief to... gratitude.
But even then, Y/N hesitated. "Charles, you know I’m not—"
“You are ready,” Charles cut him off, standing firm. “I know it. I know you could’ve made it into F1 years ago if you’d wanted to. I won’t let you give up on it.”
There was a long silence. Then, slowly, Y/N nodded, a quiet smile tugging at his lips. "Alright. But you better not tell Max about this. He’ll never forgive me if he finds out.”
Charles grinned. “Deal.”
The week of the test, Y/N’s nerves were palpable, though he tried to hide them. As they stood by the track, Charles watched him suit up, a wave of pride crashing over him. His brother was about to show the world what he could really do—and no one would know who had pushed him there.
Charles knew it wasn’t enough just to get Y/N the test. The hard part was making sure Y/N knew he had someone in his corner. Someone who believed in him—not as the background player or the second-best brother, but as the talented, driven racer he’d always been.
The test went better than Charles could have hoped. Y/N drove like he was born for it. Fast, fearless, and precise, he outpaced every expectation. By the end of the session, the team’s engineers were already talking about bringing him back for more testing.
But Charles didn’t want to get ahead of himself. This wasn’t the finish line. This was just the beginning.
As they packed up to leave, Y/N clapped him on the shoulder, a grateful, somewhat overwhelmed look in his eyes.
“Thanks, Charles,” he said quietly. “I don’t know what to say... I didn’t think I’d ever get a shot like this.”
Charles smiled, the weight of the unspoken promise hanging between them. “You don’t have to say anything. Just keep driving. I’ll make sure you get there.”
The next few months passed in a blur. Y/N’s performance in the test had caught the attention of several teams, and before long, he was back on the radar. Charles helped when he could, keeping things quiet and making sure that Y/N’s success stayed under the radar. Max never knew what had really happened. And Y/N, though hesitant, slowly began to believe that maybe—just maybe—he could make it to Formula 1 after all.
But it wasn’t just about racing anymore. It was about a bond between brothers, one that went beyond the track. A bond that said: I’ve got your back, no matter what.
#f1#f1 x reader#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula one x you#f1 x y/n#formula one x oc#formula one x y/n#faiths inboxes📥📨#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x male reader
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You’re on the right track but I think there’s more to it than that though. Spoilers under the cut.
Gale was told from a very young age that he would be a great wizard so he has to shoulder the expectation that he has to become one again after his falling out with Mystra (which I am of the opinion they were both wrong it wasn’t him just messing up with her- she was also using him but that’s a whole other conversation). Gale believes his only worth is if he is a great wizard and that is so heartbreaking. This is why he is so willing to sacrifice himself at the drop of a hat. He believes that if he can’t be as powerful as he was with Mystra and heralded as a great wizard instead of a great disappointment that he might as well give his life in a heroic way. He desperately wants to be great - like he views Mystra to be.
The reason he talks about her so often is because he wants to be her. This is clear when you reach Act 3 and he starts talking about the idea of becoming a god himself. Gale has megalomaniacal tendencies and will either pursue them if left to his own devices by the player because he just wants to be great. It isn’t until the player chooses options to tell him that he isn’t defined by his magic or grand power that Gale starts to realize he has worth just being himself outside of magic and Mystra. Yes he will always love magic but he becomes aware that it’s something he can enjoy without having to idolize Mystra in the unhealthy way he does through the first act of the game.
Relating back to your analogy, I think this is more of a case where Disney had all of the legal software to draw and you show talent from a very young age and everyone says you’re going to be the next great artist so Disney CEO hires and then starts sleeping with you when you’re of age. As you get older and your relationship is getting closer (at least on your end you believe the relationship is equal) you start asking for better software you know the ceo is using but they keep telling you that you aren’t good enough.
You then find out there’s a hidden software online that you’ve been told is an altered version of Disney software. You download it in the hopes of bringing it to Disney ceo thinking they’d be happy you found upgraded software for them but then they’re mad at you. They cast you out of their circle.
You then get a virus from that program that is going to slowly kill your computer if you don’t keep letting it eat your files and even though you can still use your other programs from Disney they don’t work like they used to so you can’t make art as great as you once did. You then are told by that ceo that they can stabilize the computer temporarily but you should get rid of your computer which would also kill you in the process.
On top of that you also find out the software you had downloaded never belonged to Disney to begin with. You find out other software has always existed but the public cannot be trusted with it according to Disney CEO. You find out you’ve been misled by the CEO for years and there’s so much more out there you could sharing with the world. You then start to pursue making yourself a CEO convincing yourself you’ll be different than Disney CEO.
I do think comparing Mystra to a CEO is very fitting because she does have a horrible power imbalance to the relationship she has with Gale so he sees her in a good light despite all the things she does wrong for way too long. I don’t think Mystra is evil but I do think that what she did to Gale was wrong and warped him into the man who thinks he needs to be a god to be worthy of being alive. To reiterate again this is why he is constantly talking about her. He wants to be her. He wants infinite knowledge and magic.
At least that’s what he wants if left to his own pursuits. If you romance him, he then starts to think of a future with you. He still talks about Mystra but it isn’t in the idolizing way it was before (“you make me forget my goddess” line my beloved). He comes into his own as a character who could see himself being happy as Gale Dekarios the man instead of Gale of Waterdeep the great wizard.
I feel like people don't grasp that Gale keeps talking about Mystra because (among other things) he's obssessed with magic.
I think it's hard to understand because in our world, any skill is an existence in and of itself but for a rough example,
Imagine if Disney had a monopoly on drawing. They were in charge of all of the drawing softwares, they own all of the art supply companies and hell, maybe they even own paper.
Now imagine you royally mess it up with the CEO of Disney. You love to draw but anytime you draw, it's ultimately seen or controlled by Disney. It must be rough. I feel for him, I really do.
Mystra isn't just some goddess connected to magic. Since most people can only safely access through the weave and Mystra manages the weave, as far as Gale is concerned, Mystra IS magic.
#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#listen this is a character I absolutely did not vibe with at first#but then I started learning his backstory and he is in need of someone telling him he’s enough#all the bravado is just a big cover up which you only find out if you pursue his story#which I don’t think a lot of people do because they can’t see past his mask#anyway OP you a very valid and I just wanted to springboard off what you said#I hope that’s okay#I wrote a dang essay#bg3#bg3 gale
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Long POSITIVE rant/analysis about Veilgards plot regarding Solas for me and anyone else bummed out by everyone saying the writing is bad!
SPOILERS
All that I wanted going into this game was to get to know solas as the dread wolf and get my big solavellan moment. The game delivered. This game is very much, by design, the dread wolf’s where inquisition is solas’. In inquisition he is hiding and allowed to be himself as a result, by the end of it you don't change his mind, but you make it so he no longer wants to tear down the veil, not on a personal level. Solas is sensitive, kind and wise. The dread wolf is cut throat, pragmatic and prideful. To save him you need to tap into the person from inquisition, not the god from veilgard.
The thing about solas’ mission is that on a pragmatic level he is right. Rip off the bandaid of these short mortal lives and generate a utopia of immortals. That's why pragmatism doesn’t save him. He needs to accept that on an emotional level, as a person, he doesn’t want to destroy this world, he doesn’t want to fight anymore, and he can never truly make his sacrifices mean something, he can never make any of it worth it because it will never feel worth it to him. He needs to choose to stop as a person not a god of rebellion or spirit of wisdom. Because no matter how much he didnt want to be a god, he acted like one and he can never be at peace while doing so. And no matter how much he wishes he was still a spirit, he’s not. Veilgard at the end of the day was about accepting that you will make choices you will regret, there will be uncomfortable consequences to your actions and there won't always be meaning in those consequences. You can choose to punish yourself forever (solas) or accept the uncomfortable truth that you can't punish yourself into peace and forgive yourself (rook).
The reason why one of you companions must die is so that you cannot be placed above solas. This is also why you must pick minrathous or treviso. You must walk a path like his, fight the war he fought and make the sacrifices he made. You cannot defeat solas or change him on the pretense of being better than him, of not being willing to make sacrifices like him, You MUST make sacrifices, You must put people who follow you into situations where you know they might die and when, not if, they do, you must live with the regret that comes with it.
Solas knew that eventually someone would die under your command and he waited for that moment because you would be faced with the same kind of regret as him and then you would be able to take his place. You don't get to act like you are better than him because you never abandoned anyone, you don't get to act like you are better than him because you never ordered someone to their likely demise. Because you did. You cant get solas to stop by making the claim that he is wrong and you are right, because he isn't. You’re the same. Rook is a foil to solas
The dinanshiral for him is continuing to walk the path that only makes him hate himself more. that he doesn’t feel good about or want to do. He wants to stop but he can no longer see the line between his pride and wisdom. He wants to keep walking it because he can't let go of the fight and accept that this is what all his sacrifices will amount to. He knows he will only hate himself more at the end of the journey but he thinks he deserves to feel all that guilt and shame if it means bringing about the utopia he imagines. He sees the regret and pain of making this ideal world as a burden only he can bear and therefore has a responsibility to take on. He fails if he doesn’t he is selfish if he doesn’t because the sacrifices hes made and the elves of now (in his eyes deluded by idealism) deserve the world he is trying to create
It’s not that solas can't accept he did bad things. He’s great at that actually. He can't accept that he did bad things and those things might never matter. He took risks and lost and there is no reward that can make him feel like it was worth it, but he's trying to make it feel worth it by continuing his plans. He cant accept that he acted like a god, created this deeply flawed world, and cant fix it. He sees himself as the only one who can save his people and cant accept the reality that he failed at preserving one thing he always wanted to preserve. After millennia of fighting and sacrificing for it, how does he just stop? Just because he wants to? That’s selfish. He can take the pain, he deserves it even. So why not keep going? He has to do it, someone else might get it wrong (haha).
Rook is freed because they listen to the people who love them, accept forgiveness from those they hurt, and the reality of their guilt. But choose not to hate themselves anyways.
You show him it's okay to stop. He's not failing. You make him accept his pain and his mistake. You mythal and the inquisitor give him the permission to end, to be forgiven so he can finally give himself the release from that ancient duty. The acceptance of the grim reality he wrought as real and permanent and he doesn’t need to honor those sacrifices because doing so will still never change the reality of how they make him feel. He finally gets to live as a hurt and flawed man, not a savior with the weight of the world on his shoulders. I think thats a beautiful and perfect ending for him, and the whole plot of veilgard is to build rook up into this dichotomy with him.
Solas pretty much says he made you into him, but he didn’t anticipate you’d be able to forgive yourself. Because forgiveness is something he cant imagine granting himself until the end, when he is met with genuine compassion and understanding by those he hurt.
#dragon age#solas#datv#fen harel#dragon age the veilgard#veilgard#da:tv#The writing is good sorry. You dont need to like it personally but you dont have become volatile and mean (i thought that was for twitter)#i thought i could have a bit of casual fandom fun but oops no everyone is overly negative all the time#i could say SO much more i hope this made sense lol
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The Pros and Cons of killing Warwick
Let me start off with:
Why I personally don't care for it
I think it's silly that a character defined by his healing factor dies. I like the spooky idea of a scary mindless Warwick roaming the streets and caves of Zaun. Vander losing his humanity and memories seems like a dark, ironic and tragic ending enough. Because we already saw him die in season 1, have him as a potential cliffhanger death in s2act2, to have him gave another "this time for realsies" death seems more like diminishing returns to me rather than "zomg, the parallels and the symmetry". To me it sounds kinda tacky.
I also feel like season 2 didn't really succeed that much in establishing Vander as his own character as opposed to just an accessory for Jinx and Vi (ie the point of his flashback is just to double down his long and deep his parental relationship with them runs), which to me takes away some of the heft of his death.
The reasons why it seems likely
Warwick isn't one of the main pretty people characters the way Caitlyn, Vi, Jinx, Jayce and Viktor are. (From a pure business POV we know that monster champions are less popular and sell fewer skins) That alone makes him a more likely candidate.
Symmetry, parallels and themes
The show arguably kicked into "omg, this is serious" gear when Vander died. And season 1 ended on Silco's death, another father figure. So one can argue that Warwick dying is a parallel to that.
There is also the persistent theme in Arcane that maybe keeping people alive after their death isn't great (ie Singed/Orianna, Viktor telling Jayce he was supposed to die) and that you need to let go of the past.
Another aspect is that Vander's story is about becoming a monster and that Vander tried to resist violence (while Silco embraced it). So one can assume that Vander hates what he has become.
Vander is also defined heavily by his status as a parent so him sacrificing himself to protect Jinx or Vi seems fitting (sacrifice being another theme in s2).
There's also the aspect of what he represents in Vi and Jinx's story. That maybe they have to overcome him or as they become adults and become self reliant it's okay for him to leave the story. Or that he has "done his job" by bringing the sisters together.
The symbolism of it all
One thing that likely isn't intended, but, if we presume that Vi will join Caitlyn in Piltover (rather than Cait moving to Zaun or both staying on their side and meeting in the middle, of I can't overlook the symbolism that the Wrath of Zaun has to be distinguished for that to happen.
Or that both leaders of the original revolution die, maybe coinciding with Piltover and Zaun forming an alliance.
Remember, in League Warwick is called the Uncaged Wrath of Zaun. So maybe the characters have to symbolically overcome Zaun's anger for the sake of a better tomorrow.
However
I know there likely just isn't airtime left in the remaining episodes, but you know what would imo would be an efficient way to make Vander's death more resonant? Give us a flashback between young Silco and Vander where they discuss strategy for example for the battle on the bridge and Vander says no, he doesn't want to turn into a monster. Driving home the tragedy of when he gets turned into a monster that has to be put down.
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Wei Wuxian and Narrative Agency – Part Three
For Xiantober Day Five: Past and Present, in which the author gets very unhinged about what parts of the past are shown and how that’s affected by the present!
(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)
The Power of Agency: Shaping the Narrative
When I've discussed Wei Wuxian's agency previously, I’ve talked about how what’s shown and omitted tells us about a character, and we’ve talked about the character himself. Though this is a niche topic, it’s not necessarily something out of the ordinary to analyse, and we can assume everything up to here has been in some way intentional.
This? Linking structure to a character’s in-universe preferences?
This is where we get unhinged.
Before I start, let’s quickly establish something which will be important later: although Wei Wuxian is the central character, MDZS isn’t strictly from his POV. While omitting events a character doesn’t like to dwell on and concealing things the character wishes to hide is common in books with only one narrator, MDZS has multiple narrators which it switches between relatively quickly. This includes Wei Wuxian, but it also includes nearly every major character that appears in the story, and omniscient narrator as well. As a default, this format doesn’t lead to this deliberate shaping and omission because of one character’s preferences, since we have many other sources of information and events – which is what makes Wei Wuxian’s influence over the narrative and structure so interesting. We could have access to a lot more information, and access to it at different times, than we do (and that’s not an insult, quite the opposite!).
To begin: we’ve established that times such as Wei Wuxian’s time on the streets, his three months in the Burial Mounds and his loss in the Siege aren’t shown because Wei Wuxian has little agency there. But that’s not the only special thing about them. They’re also the three most traumatic times in his life, and so moments Wei Wuxian himself either can’t remember, or doesn’t like to dwell on.
This is why discussing Wei Wuxian’s treatment of tragedy in his life was important. Firstly, it shows he doesn’t focus on the tragedy in his life, so the idea that the narrative not focusing on this tragedy relates to his character has merit; secondly, it affirms that this is not a passive trait, but a choice. Therefore, when the narrative omits events due to this aspect of Wei Wuxian, it’s respecting not only a character detail – which would be cool by itself – but also an active decision. One that shapes the story it’s made in.
In other words, its very structure is respecting Wei Wuxian’s agency!
Now, of course there are flashbacks to other moments of his past he probably wouldn’t like to dwell on, too. But within the structure, they’re only shown when Wei Wuxian is thinking about them (or when he has reason to)!
Wei WuXian hadn’t woken up yet. His eyes were still tightly shut, yet his hand didn’t let go either. He seemed to be dreaming, muttering, “… Don’t… Don’t be angry…” Lan WangJi seemed somewhat surprised. His voice was gentle, “I am not angry.” Wei WuXian, “… Oh.” Hearing this, as though he finally felt assured, his fingers loosened. Lan WangJi sat beside Wei WuXian for a while. Seeing that he was motionless again, he was about to stand up when Wei WuXian grabbed him with his other hand, hugging his arm and refusing to let go. He shouted, “I’ll go with you, quick, take me back to your sect!” Chapter 63, EXR translation
Which, of course, is him dwelling on…
Lan WangJi spoke one word at a time, “Go back to Gusu with me.” Hearing this, both Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng were surprised. Quickly afterward, Wei WuXian laughed, “Go back to Gusu with you? To the Cloud Recesses? Why go there?” He immediately seemed to realize, “Oh. I forgot. Your uncle Lan QiRen hates crooked people like me. You’re his proudest disciple, so of course you’re the same as him, haha. I refuse.” Chapter 62, EXR translation
…the painful flashback immediately preceding this. The third set of flashbacks (which are also painful) are a similar case. Look at the contex:
He lifted the bottom of his robe, revealing a prosthetic leg made of wood, “This leg of mine was destroyed by you, that night in the Nightless City (…)” (…) “Wei WuXian, I won’t ask you if you remember or not. Both of my parents died by your hands. You owe too many people. You definitely won’t remember them either. But, I, Fang MengChen, will never forget! And never forgive you!” (…) “In the fight at Qiongqi Path, my son was strangled to death by your dog Wen Ning!” “My shixiong died by poison, his entire body festering due to your cruel curse!” Chapter 68 (immediately preceding the flashbacks), EXR translation
And Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts and words:
Wei WuXian looked at the cultivators before the Demon-Slaughtering Cave. Their expressions were the absolute same as those of the cultivators from the night of the pledge conference, pouring their wine on the ground as they took the pledge to scatter the ashes of the Wen Sect’s remnants and him. (…) Wei WuXian, “Now it’s time to ask just whom it is that treasures it so much. It’s like Wen Ning. Back then, some certain sects or so were scared to death of the Ghost General. They said they’d kill him on the surface, but behind their backs they hid him for over ten years. How strange. Who was the one that said his ashes had been scattered back then?” Chapter 79 (immediately succeeding the flashbacks), EXR translation
Once again, Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts relate to the flashbacks we’ve just been shown. And, as I previously mentioned, though all the events which are shown are tragic, they’re also events which Wei Wuxian’s own choices and actions shaped – which he has this to say about:
“The things I did, not only do you remember them, I remember them too. You won’t forget them, and they’ll stay even longer in my mind!” Chapter 82, EXR
Admittedly, this applies more to the third set of flashbacks than the second (which is still fitting as the third set was the most recent), as in the second, although he still had agency within and influence over his circumstances, the majority of the pain was caused by others’ actions (excluding, of course, the Golden Core transfer… which is something we know stays for a long time in his mind, albeit with a caveat we’ll soon discuss). But it’s still important to note – especially considering that otherwise, focusing on this very painful time in his life wouldn’t seem like something very in-character for Wei Wuxian to do.
Of course, this can all just be explained by good writing. It is best to insert flashbacks when they’re relevant to the characters and events in the present day! But it is interesting to compare these to the start of the (not painful) Gusu flashbacks, which open this way:
At a later time, Wei WuXian pondered upon the reason why his relationship with Lan WangJi wasn’t good. Getting to the root of the matter, everything started when he was fifteen, coming to the GusuLan Sect with Jiang Cheng to study for three months. Chapter 13, EXR
Again, considering the circumstances around which these flashbacks take place – returning to the Cloud Recesses for the first time since the lectures, and meeting Lan Wangji once more – it makes complete sense for Wei Wuxian to be thinking about these events*. So it does fit the pattern of Wei Wuxian dwelling on something, thus leading to the narrative dwelling on it, too (and being shaped by his thoughts)… but there’s another layer to this. Importantly, it is the only flashback where Wei Wuxian’s present thoughts don’t lead to this happening, with his thoughts at an unspecified future time leading to it, instead. I like to interpret this as the text saying that, since these events aren’t something Wei Wuxian wouldn’t focus on in normal circumstances, he can dwell on them at any time. Therefore, they’re free to come up in the narrative at any time as well, even if he’s not dwelling on them in the present moment!
So, to summarise: Wei Wuxian’s decision not to focus on the painful times in his life directly influences the narrative to not focus on these times. When painful times are brought up and shown to us, it’s in the context of him thinking about them in the present day, and even then, his most painful moments still aren’t shown to us. His agency in this regard is still respected by the narrative structure.
This is the main way his agency influences the structure of the narrative, but I’d like to talk about the revealing and concealing of information, too. For example, I said I’d talk about the Golden Core transfer – though Wei Wuxian does think about this many times, as evidenced by his internal narration in Chapter 103. But unlike everything we’re shown through the flashbacks, this is something Wei Wuxian is actively trying to hide from others. And the narrative respects this choice (Wei Wuxian’s agency, again), never reveals it even when it would be relevant in the flashbacks, and we find out not through narration, but through a character’s dialogue!
And to clarify – I know these aspects may not be in the book for this exact reason. Showing flashbacks in relevant moments is good writing, concealing an important plot point you want to do a reveal for is necessary writing, and MXTX has said she didn’t want to write about Wei Wuxian’s time in the Burial Mounds, due to not liking to write transformation sequences (and also because it would not be pleasant at all, which likely also applies to Wei Wuxian’s death). That doesn’t prevent it from also being intentional – MXTX’s intelligence is shown in many aspects of this book, and there’s nothing disproving it – but there’s no proof for either option, so I won’t pretend there is. I bring this up because I know this feels like I’m overanalysing, as I feel that way as well.
But, whether it’s intentional or not, it exists in the text, and I adore it – so, regardless, it’s something I’ll explore. Because taking this into account… We aren't just told about Wei Wuxian having agency, we aren’t just shown it in the text, we aren’t even just shown it through which parts of his past are shown and hidden in the structure of the text (as I talked about in Part One). The parts of the past that are shown and hidden also have an in-universe reason for being shown and hidden, this reason being the choices he makes! Agency is the ability of a character to influence the story they’re in, but Wei Wuxian’s agency, as a property of a character who only exists in-universe, shapes the out-of-universe structure as well! That’s how we’re shown its importance! How cool is that?
At The End Of The Road: Summary and Final Thoughts
In this essay, we’ve covered how important Wei Wuxian’s agency is not only to the events of the plot, but to the structure of the narrative as well. The narrative omits periods in which Wei Wuxian has little or no agency, in favour of showing us periods in which he does, even when important events happened in the former. This indicates that who Wei Wuxian is without agency isn’t important enough to be shown to the audience, and therefore that his agency is an integral aspect of his character in MDZS. We’ve discussed how both in-universe and out-of-universe, tragedy does not define him – out-of-universe, the tragic events in Wei Wuxian’s life are used not to build sympathy but rather to show his strength of character and who he still is despite going through them; and in-universe, he chooses not to focus on the negativity and resentment caused by his circumstances or others’ actions, instead staying true to his moral compass and enjoying his life in the present day. Finally, we’ve also explored how this choice is another reason for the omission of certain events from the narrative, resulting in his agency shaping the story in a very literal way – it affects the out-of-universe structure, as well.
It’s quite fitting, for a story whose essence is about defying a conventional narrative – that of righteous clans rising up and defeating a great evil – and about a character who defies many conventional narratives on his own – that of status defining how skilled you could be, that for a golden core being necessary for cultivation and other paths being unavailable, that of a tragic but complete story of someone killed for staying true to their moral code (instead, that character returns to life and has a happy ending) – to have its own narrative play a role in such an important and interesting way.
(Or, if an image would be preferable:)
Thank you for reading!
(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)
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*This strong relation to the present day circumstances is another reason I love the flashback placement so much (and why I think it’s such a loss both screen adaptions altered it so strongly)!
#get ready for tag thoughts because there are a LOT of them#it’s for THIS reason that fanon wwx bothers me so much (didn’t want to get negative on the acual post)#bc so often all the changes are changes that woobify him!#self-sacrificial idiot wwx?? only doing things because… poor him he has so many internal issues and values himself so little-#-so of course he’d sacrifice everything before thinking of another option? woobifying#(whenever he sacrifices something it’s a deliberate choice to act on his morals because he values his morals so much – and he’s also very-#-capable and DOES often find ways for no people to get hurt!)#wasn’t aware that what happened to him at lotus pier was wrong and needs lwj to tell him that for him to have any idea if it?#woobifying (as we see in the lotus seed pod extra he KNOWS it’s unfair)#(he downplays it retroactively in his memory (links into not focusing on the bad things in his life))#(but that’s the actions themselves that are being downplayed not their fairness!)#he chooses to act! he is defined by acting! not tragedy – all the more impressive in the face of the amount of tragedy that’s happened#he could SO EASILY have been a woobie but instead he’s the opposite of one: defined BY his agency instead of the absence of it#that doesn’t mean he’s not impacted by tragedy or trauma – he is! but it’s not the most important aspect of his character (bc he doesn’t le#it’s also something that bothers me about the changes cql made#by making qq path and nightless city the fault of someone else it means he IS someone who’s more a victim of circumstance than anything els#he had no control over the tragedies of his first life at all#apart from ig his death being controlled by him? because he just leaps off the cliff during the nightless city siege?? but in THAT case it’#i watched that part recently (i’m getting through it very slowly) and yeah it reaffirmed my love for this aspect of the book even more#despite. having these exact thoughts for two years already#he also dwells on the past events a lot more than book wwx which adds to that version of him BEING defined more by tragedy rather than who#anyway over 7.3k words total (and 400 more in the tags apparently)... it'll be posted to ao3 in its completion this evening!#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#魔道祖师#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#gdc
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“Deliverance,” Marvel Zombies: Black, White & Blood (Vol. 1/2023), #1.
Writer: Ashley Allen; Artist: Justin Mason; Letterer: Clayton Cowles
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel Zombies: Black White & Blood#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Moon Knight#Marc Spector#Khonshu#so yeah this is yet another story that ends on the incredibly bitter note of Marc fully handing the reins over to Khonshu#(with the added bonus of being zombified and eating former comrades)#but idk this page in particular got me thinking (on multiple things) so bear with me#firstly I find it increasingly interesting how in these short stories a reoccurring theme if the creators are going for the horror angle#is Khonshu taking full control and yeah that’s terrifying considering how much of modern MK comics are about restoring autonomy#both in the literal sense (shaking off Khonshu’s influence and kicking him to the curb) and in a more ephemeral sense (proving that#while categorically neurodivergent MK’s not just «some loony» but a dependable hero in his own right#so I guess it just gets me that in this case it’s a matter of sacrifice#that Marc would give up something he fought endlessly hard for to save civilian lives (although the creators succeed in making this#still feel like not a complete victory)#the other major things for me is Khonshu’s «faith has never needed rationality» which is…something I take personal umbrage with#that’s a common understanding of the term but arguably the strongest faith is born of rationality#the idea of logically coming to the conclusion that «I have combed through everything on this Earth and determined that there are something#outside the human understanding and thus I’ll hold strong to a faith in something not of this world#the fingerprints/evidences of which are still apparent even in this world too»#thus personally I see Khonshu’s statement there as another example of his oft-used manipulation: his attempts to convince Marc that#his mind and consequently Marc himself are unreliable and useless without Khonshu’s guidance#(i.e. overbearing and uncaring control) and tbh that’s pretty horrific
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baddddddd. he's giving pomme first pick of their dungeon loot rn. he's so NICE. not just to the eggs but in general (i am always thinking of those elegant letters). but the eggs are the only ones who he will quickly and easily show vulnerability to. with everyone else it's like there's a layer there, a wall of silliness he keeps up on purpose, but it just. isn't there with the eggs.
there's something about the way that he cares that I can't put into words. like he cares so much. so fucking intensely. look at dapper. look how kitted out that egg is. look at how much time bbh has spent with the eggs, and look at how much time and effort he puts into figuring out how to keep them safe. he goes HAM when it comes to caring for the eggs, but it comes so naturally to him. it feels like caring for people with his whole entire soul is his default, but he doesn't want it to be. or, maybe want play a part in it- maybe it's too dangerous to care so much so quickly. maybe that puts other people he loves at risk. maybe it scares people. but that wall between him and other people is one that he built, and it's bbh, so he built it strong, so even when he's surrounded by people who have proven over and over that they care for him (that they care for the eggs, that they will not hurt them), he can't fully believe it.
im just. bad knows foolish so well. he knows that man wouldnt on purpose kill any eggs. but pomme killed foolish and bbh, dying of laughter, having the time of his life, told her to "put your armour on. just in case."
#i am putting him under a microscope and studying him carefully#i didn't used to be a big bbh watcher but now im obsessed with that little freak#qsmp#something about his relationship with foolish feels like a twisting of that care too tbh#like he would Not be fucking around with foolish so much if they didn't get along so well#but it has the same intensity#its like instead of a wall between him and foosh there's a cellophane tarp covered in silly colours that keeps getting twisted and rung out#and they use it like a string for those can phones#like with players that wall or layer can be warped into something extra silly but it's just Not There in the same way with the eggs#even with richas who torments him especially like foolish does#idk im also thinking about earlier today when bad was like 'yeah you can shoot me :D' to pomme#and the way his qsmp fighting style is eating totem after totem after totem to essentially sacrifice his own well-being for the people f#he loves#idk if im even making sense anymore and the pomme thing happened a while ago now lmao#but he's absolutely fascinating as a character#i need to figure out a fun fic concept to stick him to i need to put him in situations
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GOD. I AM OBSESSED WITH HIM.
#AUUUUGH. HE HAS INVADED MY BRAIN WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM.#YES THIS IS ABOUT BASIL#JESUS chRIST#I DONT NEED TO STUDY HIM UNDER A MICROSCOPE I NEED TO DISSECT HIM!!!!!#I NEED TO TEAR HIM TO SHREDS BUT ALSO GIVE HIM A HUG BUT ALSO#FFFUCK. so needless to say#omori spoilers#ahead#WHY DOES HE GIVE ME EMOTIONS. WHY IS HE LIKE THIS.#like jesus its always the character thats ready to sacrifice themselves for someone they barely even talk to but they meant so much to them#that every memory they had of them before things turned for worse made them protect them anyways and only stayed alive because they knew#that dying would only cause this person more pain then theyve already been given and that would defeat the purpose of their entire#will to live. god. he needs therapy#and anxiety medication holy shit#HE WAS 12!!1!!! HE WAs FUCkING 12!! FUCK#okay but Im also impressed like. you were 12. and you got away with it. like was there no autopsy?? did they hide the wounds?? ANYWAYS#IM NO FUCKING OKAY#“they're comfortable. simple modest and perfect.” AUUUGH.#bitch got decapitated in an elevator#final words “I think I'm stuck :/”#absolute legend (im sobbing on the floor)#omori only saves hs basil when he knows he can reset it all and forget again#stranger isnt as aggressive when hes facing the truth doNT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON STRANGER#“on that day when you became nothing I was split in half. which do you think was more painful?”#AAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.#AAAAAAAAAA.#tHAT IS SO FUCKING VAGUE HONEY WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#is he referring to the existence of stranger?? or sunny being a part of him?? IS IT SOMETHING ELSE???#THE FUCKING LORE YOU CAN MAKE UP ABOUT THIS GAME#STRANGER HONEY. CLARIFY. PLEASE. BUT ALSO DONT THIS IS HALF THE FUN
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oh, but imagining the potential for warmth and also perhaps some humor in the scenario that misao decides she wants to try to cook something for someone she loves while they're over is currently making my heart happy. like i'm not going to lie — misao has honestly not cooked a day in her life since she just simply never had the need to, being a jorōgumo and all, but she would want to at least try to show she cares for them by attempting to cook their favorite dish or something whenever they're over at her home. and this would still apply to her even if she ended up completely failing at it at first because one of misao's love languages is acts of service. thus, of course she would want to provide them with something as integral as food. but GAHHH, picturing it from misao's loved ones perspective is also equally as sweet to me, because them guiding her on what to do while reassuring her that it's okay? and them eventually just deciding to cook together because misao may or may not get overwhelmed by the fact that she has such little knowledge about what to do because she wants everything to be perfect is... idk. it can be either incredibly romantic, or make for a very wholesome platonic moment between her and another character, which i LOVE
#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.#i just had to post this once i thought of it because i feel as if all i've been posting on here is angst SO have this little wholesome-#character study / random drabble from me about how misao would try to do something that she has no idea how to do just to try to make-#any one of her loved ones happy. which honestly just mentioning that is making me go 🥺 because misao would absolutely be putting their-#needs above hers in this scenario and that is kind of what love is all about right? plusss her tendency to strive for perfection in-#pretty much everything she does being revealed like this to another muse / character is sort of intriguing to me to think about. cooking-#seem like a rather minute thing to some after all but wanting to cook for someone to me shows a lot of love on their part and it is-#intimate to sit down with someone and eat with them which as you all may know is exactly the kind of thing that misao is afraid of doing-#someone but the fact that she'd essentially getting out of her comfort zone here for them demonstrates that she is capable of growth-#and maybeee is getting less afraid of opening up to heart to people? idk but i think it just shows development on misao's part for her-#to willingly put herself in a spot like this where she is vulnerable around them bc she isn't good at cooking BUT she still wants to do it-#for them even if that requires help. so yeah. it's just kind of wholesome to think about the implications behind this happening and also-#just the event itself. like AHHH😩 the rare moments where misao just lets herself open up to people is most where she seems like she might-#not be entirely evil and more than just this man-eating yōkai y'know? and i honestly kind of love that for her
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Catholicism.
[.... oops I accidentally wrote real analysis in the tags lol]
why is he like this
#les mis#original#the man is just too catholic sorry#poor guy#it's a REALLLLY sad ending if you're an atheist#at least if you believe in God then like. obviously he's going to heaven but if you don't it's like.#OH FOR FUCKS SAKE JEAN [uncontrollable weeping]#he got a new lease on life but that lease said 'you need to at the very least symbolically crucify yourself'.#and he combined that with the self-hatred and isolation that comes with being an ex-con in a society that hates convicts#and so by the time everything is settled and he has nothing else to sacrifice but himself he simply#kills himself in cosette's name and to cosette's utter horror and grief. because if no one NEEDS him then all he knows is self-sacrifice so#it becomes a rather chilling tragedy of what happens when a man is determined to engage in self-sacrifice even when it's not needed#this probably was not Hugo's intention. but to me it's about when self-sacrifice becomes self-harm and that is#the ultimate tragedy of Jean Valjean that I missed when I read it at 15. back when i too believed what my catholic upbringing had taught me.#like I became an atheist at age 11 but the idea that the only way to be a truly good person is to place literally everyone in the world#before myself even if they don't want me to .... I'm still trying to outgrow that at age 30.#and I did not become aware of it being an issue until like my mid-20s.#it wasn't until the past couple years I could actually articulate why the end of les mis was so upsetting to me.#probably bc to me at age 15 it was confirmation that the best thing i could do for the world was to die for it.#when really now what i see is cosette's grief and the utter lack of necessity in Jean's sacrifice and i think how much more beautiful it is#to instead LIVE for one another. because unnecessary self-sacrificial death is just suicide. jean commits suicide bc his belief system#and his trauma and his oppression make it impossible for him to see saving his own life as a moral good.#oh no I've written an actual answer dammit this was meant to be a silly haha post but yeah Catholicism saved him until it damned him#womp womp [uncontrollable sobbing]
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#and i think they expected my partner to cave and say yes get it since they asked more than once but we didn't like the location either#which was by the way RIGHT NEXT TO A HIGHWAY RAMP. can you imagine the fucking noise?!#i was already depressed living in their hoity toity neighborhood and hearing the highway all the time despite seeing so many trees#no fucking way i'm going to move to an apartment complex basically on the highway that purports itself to be just as good as owning a house#when i know I wouldn't be able to modify the property or have a yard or do gardening or fucking anything#and i'm still fucking mad we're moving into an apartment and not renting a house right now#we could have had a house for less than this a year ago but my partner said the rent was too much#now we're in a fucking apartment for more#i wanted a yard#i have been so frustrated and feel like i have no control over literally anything recently#i'm very happy to be out of their place and maybe it will help me feel like i have some control again#but man like nothing has been going my way and a bunch of my stuff depends on other people being open especially my partner#who keeps turning down various things on the basis of needing to do other important stuff AND THEN NOT DOING THAT STUFF EITHER#my pain makes me feel extra out of control#i can't do a task myself and ask my partner to help or do it for me. they've chastised me for not asking for help in the past. i ask.#the task is determined to either be not important enough to actually be done or they don't do it the way that i want and are defensive when#i ask that it actually be done the different way. like i go above and beyond for them and sacrifice time to go do menial stuff#because i currently have more time than them. like getting this outfit for them. i want to tear my hair out and scream#and underlying all of that my family fucking sucks and i can't do anything about that. and the world fucking sucks too#i need to go back or i'll get too tired to drive
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youtube
“Your Body, My Temple | Vast Error Animatic [Slightly suggestive]” by Rein Arashi / halcyonrein
(posting for archival purposes, so reblogs are off)
#animatic#art#fav#DOES TBIS PERSON KNOW HOW ISNANE THIS IS#like oh my god… portraying the sacrifice so intimately is so like AHH AHHHH#ITS SO REAL OF COURSE IT JUST MAKES ME CRAZY#this thing has me thinking about the sacrifice so much. I need to make a list of sacrifice hcs#OR EVEN BETTER I NEED TO WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT SO BADLY#like the way this artists portrays s/inru with his blindfold on.. willfully ignorant of how ed/lon truly feels… AAHAHHH AAHHH AHHHHH!!!!!!
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I’m not jealous (Aaron Hotchner)
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader
Summary: Aaron was going to show you how not jealous he is.
Rating: Mature 18+ only
Warnings: Jealous Aaron (though he is adamant he isn't), Reader taking advantage of a sweet guy, manhandling, Dom!Aaron, condescending, being called good girl (which made me MELT), Aaron spanks her once, fingering, overstimulation, Aaron is a sweet aftercare guy
Words: 2.9k
Main Masterlist | Criminal Minds Masterlist
Jealousy can be very ugly.
It can also be very hot. And on Aaron Hotchner it was sexy as hell. The way his jaw clenched, his eyes darken, and the air around him just got thick with tension you knew about, but the line was never crossed.
You had feelings for Aaron, everyone in the BAU knew it, he knew it, and he still had yet to decide what, and if, he felt for you.
You always tried to push him, loving the way he seemed so close to losing it only to watch him attempt to reel himself in. Once you had danced with a guy at the bar after a long case and your eyes never left Aaron. No matter how many times the guy dipped his head to kiss (more like slobbered with how drunk he was) your neck, you continued to stare at him, surprised that the glass he was holding didn’t break with the force of his grip, his knuckles already white.
And when you decided you were done with your dance partner, you attempted to leave only to have him get aggressive. You knew you could fit him off if need be, but it was much more satisfying when Aaron strode over and introduced him to that amazing right hook of his.
It was even better when he took you roughly by the waist and led you out of the bar.
In his car, you tried to push a little more, wanting him to finally admit something to you.
“God,” You sigh and brush your hand down his arm, admiring the way they flex under your touch, “You are so hot when you are jealous.”
“I’m not jealous.”
“There is no need to deny the chemistry between us, Aaron. We aren’t on the clock so you aren’t my Unit Chief, and I am not your underling, though I would so love to be under you.” You purr, warmth flooding your as his tongue darts out to wet his lower lip, your eyes following the motion longingly.
It would be easier if he would just give in to what was going on between the two of you.
But sadly, that was where the night ended for you.
Aaron took you back to your apartment, walked you up (like the gentleman he was), and left you there all alone.
Over the next few months you tried again and again to prove there was something between you, not only physically, but emotionally as well.
Pulling him out of his office for lunch or bringing it to him, just to make sure he would eat. Putting sticky notes on his monitor or his desk with little encouragements and reminders since you knew he could get too far into his own head and needed some help out.
And it wasn’t like he didn’t do things for you.
Bringing you coffee, made just to your liking, at the beginning of the shift or when you run low on your own coffee. He always seemed to know when you needed your fix. He also would save you a seat on the plane, the one next to the window because he knows you like to look out at the clouds during long flights.
“When we land, Y/n, Reid and I will go to the police station to set up. Morgan, you and Emily check out the crime scene.”
Aaron dished out the rest of the orders as the plane started to descend. Honestly after he told you where you were going to be, which of course was with him because he always seemed to think he needed to keep an eye on you, something you couldn’t decide if was out of how similar your skill sets are or because he has a constant need to be near you, you stopped listening.
You were certain that it was both. You knew Aaron wouldn’t sacrifice the case or the people involved just for a romantic feeling towards you.
Once you landed and got to the police station, everything seemed to flash by in a whirlwind.
You barely had any time to focus on anything other than catching the asshole that was killing women.
“You seem to be running into the ground, Agent.”
Officer Danny Grant was such a little cutie and seemed to immediately take a liking to you.
“I’ll rest when we catch this guy.” You reach for your cup of awful cop coffee, even though it was the only thing keeping you going at the moment, but frowned when you found the cup empty.
Cursing, you turn away from the board to get more.
“Here.” Grant offered you another cup, his face a little flushed and a smile on his lips. “I noticed you were low. I don’t know how you take it so I just made it black. If you need any creamer or sugar I can get it for you.”
“Thanks, Grant.” You smiled and took the cup. The warmth of it not only warming your hands, but your heart a little as well. Usually Aaron would bring you coffee, but this case seemed to take a toll on him, which you remind yourself you would have to check on him later. Now that someone else noticed and cared enough to bring you something so small, yet so vital, was sweet.
You take a sip of the black coffee, wishing it was sweeter, but the jolt of bitterness was the wake up you needed.
“I usually like it sweet, but black is fine. It’s just what I need.”
Grant continued to stick to your side, helping with the case whenever he could and bringing you more coffee (this time with a side of sugar). He was actually very helpful and you enjoyed the company of him, conversation and ideas bouncing easily.
Aaron on the other hand didn’t like the attention you were getting from the young, wide eyed officer.
He couldn’t stand the fact that he was distracting you from the case at hand (even though he wasn’t actually), the way you laughed when he said something you deemed funny, but it wasn’t, and the thing he hated the most was the smile you beamed at him when he brought you more coffee.
The smile you usually only gave him. Why were you giving it to this guy? Even when the group went out and you flirted with other men, knowing that it would get a rise out of him (though he would never admit it out loud) you never gave them that kind smile, the one that made your nose scrunch up so adorably.
It would be so easy for Aaron to go over there. He can imagine himself pulling you away from Grant. It wasn’t like he didn’t know how you felt pressed against his own body. The amount of nights he had to pull himself away from you, unable to cross that line, the line between boss and subordinate. A line that he’s tiptoed since the first time he saw you.
If only it was that simple to give into you.
A few hours later, you could feel your steam running out and your eyes drooping, no matter how much coffee you drank.
“There hasn’t been any new information.” Aaron’s voice woke you just before your head hit the conference table for the second time that night, “Let’s call it a night and look at this in the morning with fresh eyes.”
“No no,” you whine, failing to lift your eyelids, “I can keep going.”
“Agent Hotchner is right. Come on, let's get you to the hotel.”
Just as Grant reached for you, Aaron was quick to his feet, striding over to you with only a few steps and grabbing your shoulder before Grant could. “I have her.” Aaron lifted you up, one hand resting under both of your legs and the other on your back, smirking at Grant as you wrap your arms around his neck and snuggle into him.
The look of shock on the officer’s face was sickeningly satisfying.
Never would Aaron be this bold, especially in front of others, but he couldn’t help himself. He couldn't just let this man touch you. Not after spending all day watching his poor attempts at flirting.
You could, and probably would, be upset with him tomorrow.
Aaron lifted his chin, daring others to say anything as he made his way through the precinct with you tucked in his arms. Once you were outside, you push your face into his neck subconsciously, inhaling his scent and sending a shiver through him, thankful that at least some part of you waited until you were out of sight to get clingy with him.
“You are,” You yawn, lips brushing against his skin,”so hot when you are jealous.”
“I am not jealous.”
All you did was hum in response as you drift off to sleep in his arms.
For the rest of the case you stuck to Grant every chance you got, barely paying Aaron any attention.
He knew you were doing it on purpose. You knew he knew that you knew you were doing it on purpose.
Thankfully the team was able to wrap up the case and it was only one night left before you left.
No more case. No more reason to stay in California. No more Grant.
Aaron wonders if he should be as happy as he was as he pressed the button for your floor on the elevator. He doesn’t have much time to think about it when a minute later the elevator door opens and he sees Grant standing at your door, leaning against the open door with you.
“So now that the case is over, do you want to get dinner before you leave? I’m sure hotel food isn’t as good as a good burger at this little dive I know down the street.”
You giggle at his forwardness. While you do love and want Aaron, turning down a free meal from a cute man before you never see him again couldn’t hurt, right?
“You know a little dive? Is it a ‘California delicacy?’”
Grant leaned in, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “Oh absolutely.”
Rage and jealousy flows through Aaron, his jaw and fists clenched. His legs carried him towards you before his brain could catch up.
No more games.
In a flash, Aaron grabbed Grant by the collar of his shirt, yanking him back and away from you.
“A Aaron?!” You squeak as the man pushes you into your hotel room, closing and locking the door behind you.
His hands grab your wrists, tugging and trapping them above your head, the air leaving you completely as his lips crash against yours.
The months and months of tension finally exploded within you, arching your hips to meet him, gasping when he grips your wrists tighter in warning.
“You really can’t resist flirting can you?” Aaron’s voice may have been calm, almost bored, but his eyes betrayed the fire, the anger he held. “You just love to rile me up.”
“I thought,” you moan when he moves to kiss your neck, “you weren’t jealous.”
His laugh is condescending, one of his hands snaking down to your side while the other held tight. This was the Aaron Hotchner you wanted, the one you knew he could be if you just pushed right, but now that he was here you didn’t quite know how to handle him.
Not that you would let him know. Not as your body shivers when he rests his hand on your waist, nails digging through the material of your jeans.
“You and I both know I am not. Why be jealous when your body is so truthful with me? It tells me everything,” His smirk widens as he cupped your cunt and you whine, subconsciously grinding against his hand, seeking the dull pleasure you could get through the two layers of fabric separating you, “I need to know. It is an open book for me.”
You want to cry when Aaron withdraws from you, only proving his point further. God you want him. More than absolutely anything.
“Now be a good girl and get on the bed. I want you naked and on all fours by the time I get out of the bathroom.”
“T The bathr…” Your words die on your lips when Aaron gives you a pointed stare, one that has you clenching around nothing, before he walks away from you and into the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar, almost as if daring you to disobey him.
As much as you wanted to, just to see what he would do to you, you decided that would be for a different time. Quickly shedding your top and jeans, you obey like the good girl you want to be for him.
You wait for what feels like an eternity, but was probably only five minutes before you could hear Aaron’s footsteps coming out of the bathroom. Instinct has you turning your head to look at him, “Don’t you fucking move.” but his harsh voice has you snapping it back and a shiver running down your spine.
Or was that his fingers that danced along your back? Honestly you didn’t know, but you didn;t have time to ponder it before he splayed his open palm across one of your ass cheeks, drawing back and coming down with a swift smack.
You moan, the sudden motion causing you to fall forward, your arms giving out.
“Just a little taste of what happens when you play with me.” Aaron rubbed the spot where you were sure was going to be slightly red from the force. “But I won’t give you more since you seemed to follow my orders like such a good girl.”
A whine escapes you at his words. You wanted to hear them over and over. To be praised by him over and over. His fingers ghost from your ass straight to your center, pressing and feeling, but never fully sinking into you.
“Oh fuck,” You squirm under his carful attention, “Please. Please Aaron!”
“Please what? How will I know what you want without words?”
You cry as the tip of his finger comes dangerously close to your clit only for him to pull it away just as quickly. You knew what he was doing. He was teasing you just like you had teased him, almost like a form of sick payback, and though he did have the upper hand, you felt like you had already won.
You had him in bed.
“Please touch me, Aaron. I need your hands on me, in me, anything.”
“There we go.”
The reward for your confession was sweet. His fingers circled your clit, applying the right amount of pressure that had you moaning loudly. Aaron continued to work you, leaving your brain in a haze of pleasure which only intensified when he finally moved to sink one finger into your core.
“Fuck..” Aaron curses, his finger setting a steady pace, thrusting in and out of you, admiring the embarrassingly wet noises your cunt makes. “You are so wet.”
You moan when he slides a second finger in, then a third, the stretch burning oh so deliciously.
He’s got you at his mercy, hips rocking back to meet his thrusts, drool pooling on the hotel sheets below you. “Aaron!” You cry, the coil in your gut pushing and pushing you closer to the edge, threatening to break and toss you into a sweet release.
“Let go.”
With his permission, and his fingers brushing that sweet spot that made you see stars, you do.
You scream as your orgasm crashes into you. If the outside could hear you, you didn’t care. All that mattered was Aaron, his name the only thing occupying your mind and the only thing spilling out of your mouth as if it was the only name you knew.
And right now it was.
Aaron continued to thrust his fingers into you, helping you through your orgasm until you tried to pull away from him, but his other hand gripped your waist, pulling you back and onto his fingers.
“Aaron!” You squirmed. It was too much, but you didn’t want him to stop as his fingers expertly stroked and thrust, bringing you to a second orgasm in record time. Tears prick your eyes, your body shaking, feeling weightless and not here.
You didn’t even notice when Aaron carefully turned you on your back, brushing your hair back from your face and kissing your forehead. He treated you like procaline, peppering kisses all over your face until you came back to him. “There’s my girl.”
His girl. The thought had you smiling like a lovesick fool, which was appropriate because you were. No longer were the steel eyes and lustful gaze, but soft brown eyes filled with an adoration you weren’t used to seeing. You swallow and reach for him. Aaron wrapped you in his arms and held you close.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
Now what? Was he going to continue? Fuck you? Or, and something you hoped he wouldn’t do, leave you.
Aaron, the ever brilliant profiler he was, could see the war going on in your head before you could speak. He leaned down to kiss you, hand gently rubbing shapes on your upper thigh.
“Don’t worry. I will be right here for more when you wake.”
You feel a little guilty about not returning the favor, but Aaron quickly shuts that down. He grabs the hotel comfort and pulls it up, covering the two of you, tucking you into his chest. Your eyes feel heavy from the force of cumming twice (and Aaron’s skilled fingers) that you couldn’t seem to argue, eyes closing as sleep takes over.
You definitely would make him feel good when you wake up.
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