#this takes 40 minutes to embroider... as a patch

[lonelybitchversion]

taylor swift coat of arms emblem

my version of the coat of arms emblem ✨️ as seen in the lover video, the second "not a lot going on at the moment" post, the mini wine bottle in the anti-hero mv.. I tried my besties🩷

the emblem is also available for embroidery on our bags, the ribbon, and the zipper pouch 🫶🏻

[cheesycatz]

The Making of: Life-Size Malworm Plush

(Wormton AU)

STATS

16 ft 3 in (495 cm) long

Total time: 150 hours

Material Cost: $124

Theoretical minimum cost (based on seamstress wage): $2,524

(Progress photos and commentary below)

I'll be referring to my life-size wormton plush as "malworm" for convenience sake.

Unlike my Spamton NEO, Caine, and Fake Peppino plushies, I didn't spend a lot of time on concept art. Since I planned to make the malworm plush as close as possible to its 2D design, I didn't have to add much stylization, other than simplifying some details (no way in hell was I going to make 104 separate embroidered stitches for the segments of his toes, sorry). I mainly used the planning stage to calculate how wide the body pieces needed to be, plotting it out in 1/4 in : 3 in scale and using circumference formula to find the values I needed. I planned to make it around 10 feet long, the length of a young adult malworm. A lot of this project was improv, but, I mean, it wasn't my first or second or third time making a spamton centipede.

The head was quite a complicated shape, so I carved a tiny model out of craft foam, covered one half of it in masking tape, then cut the masking tape mask (hah) into flat pieces. I then traced the pieces onto graph paper and manually scaled them up by using the fact that I wanted the nose to be 1 ft long as reference. The rest of the pattern pieces were very simple, as wormton's teeth, body, legs, etc were very easy to translate into 2D shapes. I used old school notes as paper for the body, as I needed a lot of it. It was entertaining cutting exerpts of Moby Dick and English Renaissance biographies into body parts. I ended up making the body significantly longer; I had to spend $100 dollars on fur anyways, so why not make a maximum size one?

Making the pattern pieces took around 8 hours. While waiting for the fur to ship, I started cutting out the teeth, legs, and eyes. By the time the fur arrived, I had already sewn 36 worm teeth. I did an 11hr all-nighter to cut all the fur in one sitting the day it arrived. After a long vacuuming session and an uptake in the amount of polyester fiber in my lungs, I finished cutting the pieces, taking about 18 hours and 40 minutes.

As usual, the head was the first thing I worked on. It was...kind of wonky once I flipped it inside out. I trimmed some of the fur so that I could actually see what was happening. The main issues were the lack of any forehead, the nose being way too wide, and the cheeks being too flat. I did some ladder stitching as well as modifying the thing from the inside, and eventually made the head look much better. The cheeks still don't stick out that much still, but I'm happy with how the head looks now. I think it conquered the sopping wet owl resemblance. I inserted wire into the nose and jaws to help them keep their shape.

When I started this project, I wasn't sure whether to make it based off of Wormton or just a copyright-free malworm; I decided to do both. I went with red for the non-Spamton version, as I think it really fits the cartoony fly/mothman-style cryptid look malworms are supposed to have.

I sewed a square pouch into the throat and put in all those teeth. I used hot glue to wrap blue squares around a wire for the proboscis, because I think I would've gone bonkers cuckoo bananas if I had to hand sew that entire thing. The throat pouch holds the proboscis when it's not extended, as well as anything else I wanted to shove in there. I never measured it, but it's around 4-5 ft long. I finally made the Spamton... eye patches(?) and a pair of eyelids, though I didn't end up using them in the photo shoot. I also made a new pair of nostrils, as the old ones kind of got swallowed up from all the plastic surgery I was giving him

Now that the head was finished, I got to work on the body. I sewed the white belly and segments of the body together. I left most of the tail open, as the fur was too thick for me to flip it out at a certain point. I worked on the legs, next. After living out my cosplay dreams by putting the claws on my fingers like bugles chips, I grouped the claws together and sewed most of each leg and foot together, leaving me with many pairs of charred drumsticks (did not taste good)

I attached an extra long wire structure into each set of claws, then threaded the wire through each respective leg and stuffed them. I ladder stitched the claws to each foot, then stuffed each with some plastic beans in order to give the feet weight. I then finished sewing each foot shut. I now had a pile of disembodied limbs and one very long scarf.

I wound many long pieces of wire together to create an armature for the body. While the plush's body is way too heavy to be properly posable, the wire does still give some structure. I wrapped the extra long ends of the legs' wires to the metal spine, using the body's leg holes for reference. I then pulled the body up the metal armature like a sock.

I pulled the legs through their respective holes and stuffed the body. It was the first time the malworm was huggable! It's sort of like an oversized body pillow, in a way. I had to ladder-stich all the limbs, the head, and the rest of the tail, as it would've been completely impossible to flip inside out. It was quite difficult to do on furry fabric, and my thread frequently broke from the force I had to pull with to keep the stitches tight. Eventually, I got everything attached to some degree.

The last details I worked on were the mane, tail tufts, and scopula pads. The mane and tail tufts were ladder stitched onto the body, but I decided to use glue to attach the pads to the feet. I think the extra blue details make his proboscis fit much better, and who doesn't love spider paw pads? I also glued some velcro to the eye patches so that they stay attached better. They slide under the black eye rings.

My malworm was finally finished! I tried to put a lot of effort into the photo shoot so that people who don't know about the AU can enjoy it. I wanted to make it seem like some weird entity whose only goal is obtaining more Spamton brainrot. Hence it making Spamton on Mario Kart DS under the bed, obsessing over the Spamton Plush, inspecting the Spamton Shrine, and just generally harassing the photographer (me, I guess?). I wanted to capture the silliness, creepiness, and lack of respect for personal space that Spamton is known for. I thought about giving him a bag of doritos under the bed like that one image of the isopods eating them, but went with the DS instead. I thought it would be funny to see this thing playing Super Mario 64 DS (or Super Spamton 64) and here the "buh bye!" sound effect when it closes the DSi XL.

That's all from me, for now. I have other Wormton related matter to attend to.

Don't let the parasitic Spamton larvae bite

[goodwriterwithbadhabits]

Behind the Mask

Hi. This is, a lot. Like five pages of work. I’ve spent days working on it and I’ve rewritten it twice, so I hope this is as good as I think it is. I’ve left the ending open because I’m thinking of writing a part two, let me know what you think. 

Master List

~~

“What on this blue earth do you mean you need another suit, Hyunwoo? The party is tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry, Lin, I know its last minute.” The large muscular man bows deeply, and you can just feel in his words that he’s truly sorry. 

“I was supposed to be out of the country, my plans only just got cancelled.” The other man apologizes, also bowing. Your boss glares at them, her steely gaze made worse by the black mask covering her face. 

“I can make it.” The moment the words leave your mouth you regret them. All three of them turn their gazes on you, and for a few moments you want to sink in on yourself. 

“I don’t want to impose on you.” You can’t speak for a few seconds, too busy being absolutely stuck on the man in front of you. He’s tall and so muscular he could probably kill you with a hug. “Y/n,” Lin begins, “You really think you could create an entire suit in a day?” You square your shoulders, this was the moment you had been waiting for, a chance to show your skills. 

“I designed all the other suits, every other costume you had me work on is done. I already had a mock up of his suit finished when he cancelled originally. If I can use fabric from the workshop, and if I work all night, I can get it done.” The group exchanges glances, and you can see just from their eyes that Lin and Hyunwoo have very little faith. 

“I think you can do it.” The other man vouches, eyes twinkling and making your heart skip more than a few beats. “I have faith in you, and I’ll help as much as I can.” You choke on your own words for a second but finally manage to nod. 

“Thanks.” 

“Alright, Y/n, if you think you can do it, go ahead.” Lin nods, “Hoseok is going to be your assistant.” 

“Great.” You breathe, unsure if you’re going to be able to function properly with him around. “Follow me.” You lead him back to the workshop, which is just a huge warehouse connected to the back of the tailors shop filled with fabrics, lace and all the bits and baubles needed to make whatever clothing customers wanted. 

“Woah.” His small gasp has you smiling behind your own mask as you head over to your workstation. 

“Yeah, it’s pretty impressive, but we’re asked to clothe most artists these days. Dragon Tailors is the official tailor for JYP, Big Hit and P Nation, but we get clients from all over.” You explain, dropping your sketchbook on the table and motioning for him to take a seat. “Alright so this is what I designed a few months ago.” 

The suit was, arguably, simple. It was just a black lace vest, and a deep red jacket with matching pants. The jacket had the wings of Eros embroidered on the back in gold, and doves on the lapel, while the pants had rose vines going up the legs. It was simple but elegant and sexy, and a good representation of Eros in your opinion. The other boys in his (former) group were also going as varying gods. While the other boys were going as much more major gods, Hoseok had chosen Eros, maybe to only lowkey match the other boys. 

“Wow, that’s a lot. Are you going to be able to make it in time?” You shrug, your shoulder brushing against his. 

“I have the rose patches for the pants, and I have a dove program on my embroidery machine for the lapels, I can hand stitch the wings, if I get the rest of it done quickly.” You explain, glancing at your watch. “I’ve got roughly 40 hours, luckily you guys came in early.” 

“Is there anything I can help with?” You finally look over at him. He’s handsome, even while wearing his mask, with strong brows and deep brown eyes. For a few seconds you’re stuck, drowning in his eyes, until you finally manage to pull yourself out. 

“You need a mask and some shoes. The mask should be red and gold, and the shoes should be black, and Oxfords.” 

“You guys don’t make shoes?” He wonders and you shake your head, walking over to the rack of half finished designs you were working on. 

“We design them, but typically the people we work with either have a pair already, or we order them, usually from a brand the star is partnered with.” You grab the mock up you had already built. “Before you leave to get those, try this on for me. I need to know it fits.” You toss the material at him, pointing to the changing room behind him. 

Of course it fits, but you still make a point of reminding him not to work out between now and the party, or he might burst out of the jacket, which you would pay to see. Before he leaves to get his missing pieces you give him your number, telling him to text you pictures before he buys anything. And with that, you’re alone in the workshop. 

“So, he’s kinda cute.” Lin greets, sliding your sketchbook towards her while you’re focused on the bolts of red cloth on the wall. 

“He’s an idol, you told me they’re off limits.” You retort, “Satin or silk?” 

“Silk, with satin for the liner.” You nod, grabbing the cloth you want. “And they aren’t off limits, at least, he isn’t. Are you making him body chains?”

“If I have time,” You drop the cloth on the table, grabbing your patterns. “I mean, he’s hot, no cap, but there’s no way he’d go for me. He probably has girls throwing themselves at him all the time, I’m not about to do that.” Lin nods understandingly, walking over to the lace collection and picking one. 

“What about this for the vest?” You glance over at her, nodding approvingly at the selection. “He’s a broad boy, are you sure this is going to look good on him?”

“He could make a garbage back look good, Lin. Hey don’t you have a Hyunwoo up front?”

“He’s getting the two of us lunch, as payment for stressing me out.” 

“Sounds like a date to me.” You tease, earning a chuckle from her. 

“Maybe it is.” She pats your back as she walks by, “Good luck, I believe in you.” 

“That makes one of us.” 

~~

You weren’t sure how much time was passing, there were no windows in the workshop, so you just kept going. The pants were finished, you had decided to forgo the vines, and just add roses in a few different colors. The vest was done too, the lace Lin had chosen was made of small birds and flowers, like it had been made for this project. Hoseok had texted you not even an hour after he had left, showing off the mask and shoes he had gotten, which looked really good. 

All that you needed to do was stitch these wings, attach the liner to the torso of the jacket, and put it all together. Oh and make the body chains and the choker. It was going to be a long night, the wings were going to take hours to finish, and the chains probably an hour, but Hoseok would have to be here for that, so it could wait until after the jacket was finished. Then you just had to steam everything and make sure he picked it up on time. 

Good thing sleep is an illusion. 

“Hey google.” You don’t look away from your work as your phone pauses your music to listen to you. “Place an order at Dalcomm Coffee.” You adjust the glasses on your nose, lining the sketch paper up with the jacket. “One large white mocha, no whip with an extra shot of espresso.” 

“Confirm order, one large white mocha. Subtract whip. Add espresso.” The device asks. 

“Confirm.” 

“Order total is-”

“Confirm.” 

“Order placed. Estimated time of arrival: 7:16 pm, Korean Standard Time.” 

“Thanks google, play my work playlist.” 

“You thank your google?” Hoseok’s voice has you glancing up, finding him standing in the doorway with two bags in his hands. Somehow, he looked even better than earlier, now in a muscle shirt and basketball shorts. His face was still hidden behind the mask, like yours, but you could tell he was smiling from the crinkle in his eyes. 

“Yes I do, you don’t?” He shakes his head, laughing softly. 

“Can’t say I do. Maybe I should. May I come in?”

“Yeah sure. The pants and vest are done, if you’d like to try them on.” He shakes his head, perching on the stool next to you with his bags at his feet. 

“I’ll wait until the jacket is done.” He decides. “How are you doing?”

“Working. The lapels are on the machine, so I just need to finish the wings and I’ll be almost done.” You explain, pointing to the machine on the other end of the table. 

“Have you eaten today?” His question shocks you enough to make you look up from your work. Had you eaten today? 

“Uh, no.” You focus back on the chalk in your hands as you tediously redraw the wings onto the fabric. “But I am getting another cup of coffee.” 

“How many cups have you had?” You chuckle, knowing your smile is hidden. 

“Many.” 

“Well, goodthing I brought you dinner.” 

“I’ll eat when I’m done.” 

“How about when you’re done drawing that?” 

“I’ve really got to get this done.” You insist, waving at the jacket. 

“You really need to eat, you still have plenty of time to finish this.” His voice is soft but insistent. “If you don’t eat you’ll get sick.” You huff, tapping the chalk on the table. 

“Alright fine,” You relent, “But let me finish drawing this first.” 

“I can deal with that.” He begins unloading the food, setting it on a nearby table, seeing as your workstation was covered in fabric. 

“You know you didn’t have to buy me dinner.” You comment, eyes still glued to your work. 

“I wanted to.” The way he says is so matter-of-factly has your heart beating a little faster. 

“A man after my own heart.” You joke, glancing over at him. You can tell he’s smiling behind his mask, even though he isn’t looking at you. 

“Maybe.” He mumbles, and you’re pretty sure you weren’t supposed to hear that. “This is beautiful.” He breathes, fingers trailing over the roses on his pants. “You’re very talented.” 

“Thank you. If I’m being honest, this is my first chance to make a full outfit of my own.” You confess. 

“Really? I would have assumed you’ve been doing this for years.” 

“I generally just design, and then Lin and the others actually make them. I usually just get to make accessories and take measurements.” You shrug, re-aligning the original sketch over the fabric. “This is my chance to prove myself.”

“Well, you’ve proven yourself to me.” 

~~

Time moves both too slowly, and too quickly for you. Wonho leaves later in the night, several hours after you’ve finished dinner, telling you to get some sleep and not worry about the jacket. You lie, of course, telling him you will when the lapels are finished, but even when they are, you only move them to the side to continue working on the embroidery. Your hands hurt, your back hurts, your eyes hurt, but as the hours pass, the golden shimmer of the thread expands, unfurling into stellar wings befitting any god. You’re halfway through the second wing when a coffee is set down in front of you. 

“Hoseok, I told you to go to bed.” You respond instantly. 

“He probably is asleep, its only 5.” Lin’s voice is tinged with laughter. You finally look away from the needle, finding your boss standing next to you, and a few of the other designers setting up their workstations. 

“Am?” She nods at your question. “Good, if I started at 8,” You pause doing mental math, “I should have the wings finished by 8, the choker should only take about 30 minutes, I might have this ready for steaming by 9-9:30.” You inform her, focusing your face back on the project at hand. 

“Y/n, did you work all night?” Max, another designer asks. 

“Yeah, I’ve still got a bit to finish, but it will be ready for tonight.” 

“Wait, this is for tonight?” Sungwoo gasps, examining the vest and pants hanging on your rack. 

“Yeah.” You answer curtly, trying to just get back to work. 

“Why are you just working on it now? You should have had it finished yesterday at the latest, we need your help with-”

“Kami, you should be praising Y/n.” Lin interrupts. “While you all got the day off, Y/n was given this task yesterday, and she’ll have it done today. How many of you can say you’ve made a suit in under 40 hours.” Your face is warm as the room goes silent. “That’s what I thought.” Lin scoffs, “As for the rest of you. Kami, you’ve been contracted by Jung Seojoon for an upcoming award show, he’d like to meet at his house at 7. Sungwoo, I believe you have a dress for Perry’s upcoming tour that needs finishing. Max, Harden and Dojoon, you’re on call for repairs and styling for tonight, Rain already called this morning about a broken cufflink, Harden if you could.”

“Yes ma`am.” 

“Good, and leave Y/n alone until the suit is done. Understood?” The room was filled with confirmation and Lin patted your shoulder. “I’ll be in my workroom.” 

~~

You were right, the embroidery was finished by 8, but the entire suit wasn’t ready until almost 11, thanks to the choker taking forever. Sitting on your stool, you gazed at your masterpiece, marveling at how well it turned out, and praying it fit properly. 

“Looks good. Hoseok will be here for pick up at 5, why don’t you head home for a bit, get some sleep.” Lin greets, coming up behind you. 

“I should stay and help with-”

“No. You’re going to go home, until 4, at least. If you wake up before he’s supposed to come pick it up, you can come back and help. Otherwise, we’ll call you if we need you.” She orders instead. “Do not argue with me.” 

“Yes ma’am.” You finally relent. 

The exhaustion hit the moment you walked in your front door, and you ended up passed out on the couch instead of your bed. When you finally woke up, it was thanks to the incessant ringing of your phone on the table next to you, and the sudden lack of being able to breathe thanks to your cat deciding to pass out on your chest. 

“Hello?” You mumble into the device, absently petting the naked kitty. 

“Y/n, it’s Lin. Get up and shower, I’ll be at your house in thirty minutes.” Her words have you sitting up slightly, confused, and knocking the cat off. 

“Sorry, Berus. And what do you mean you’ll be here in 30 minutes?”

“I’m playing fairy godmother tonight. Go shower, now.” Her voice is stern, and something tells you not to question it. 

“Um, alright.” 

The doorbell rings just as you exit the bathroom, still toweling your hair dry. Lin is standing outside with Max and Sungwoo, with a dress bag slung over her shoulder. 

“Uh, hi.” You manage to mutter as they push past you into your apartment. 

“Oh good, your hair isn’t dry, that’ll make styling it easier.” Sungwoo remarks, “Max and I will set up in the kitchen, the lighting’s probably better.” 

“I’ll put this in the bedroom. He’ll be here at 9:45, so that gives us only about two hours for hair and make up, think you can do it?” Lin asks, hanging the dress bag on the curtain rod over the couch, giving you and Berus the chance to ogle what's inside. 

The suit is while, with pale pink and gold flowers adorning most of it. The buttons are ivory with golden trim, and a mask, the same white and gold, with the same almost pink flowers, hangs from the hanger. 

“What is going on? Why are you here and why do you have a suit? And who is going to be here at 9:45?” Sungwoo and Max turn to Lin. 

“You didn’t tell her?” Lin smirks at Max’s question. 

“I told her some. Like I said, I’m playing Fairy Godmother.” She turns to you as she speaks, excitement glittering in her eyes. “You are going to the ball, Cinderella.” You wanted to respond with something intelligent, but all that came out was a very undignified, 

“Huh?”

“Come on, Psyche,” Max laughs, guiding you towards the kitchen, “Your Eros awaits.”

[patchcreator]

Tips for Easy Jacket Back Embroidery for Patch Creator

Master 2 essential variables-- hooping as well as placement-- for less complicated, rewarding sew outs.

It's that time of year once more. The climate is getting cooler, the fallen leaves are altering colors and also individuals are drawing jackets out of closets. As an embroiderer, why not profit the possibility to market more embellished things in this apparel group?

Coats and jackets can be great moneymakers. They are more pricey and offer themselves to higher margins. Additionally, if a customer wants a large design on the back, you can get maximum production from your equipment, which indicates maximum revenue if you are a patch creator.

I utilized to dislike doing large layouts on jackets. They are harder to hoop and also the huge designs take a long time to run; I used to think such styles were consuming my maker time. I eventually realized my reasoning was incorrect. Yes, the jacket was on the equipment for a very long time, however the layout still was producing cash for me-- and also at a greater price than a lot of my left-chest logo design sewouts.

Let's say I'm running a 5,000-stitch logo on polo shirts. I can get perhaps eight runs an hour. If I'm charging $1 per thousand stitches, that's $40 a hr (per head). On the other hand, if I have a 60,000-stitch style, it is mosting likely to take a hr as well as 20 minutes to sew. Nevertheless, I'm obtaining $60 for the coat back layout. That exercises to $45 per hour and also I really did not need to work as tough. I might kick back and also relax and also the allow the maker do the benefit an hour or so. This remains in addition to the fact that there usually is much more revenue margin in the markup of coats because of their high price point.

Now that it's evident that jackets can be as profitable-- otherwise a lot more so-- than the "normal" things most embroiderers sew, let's look at the challenges of dealing with coats. First off, there are various jacket varieties. From wind breakers and also warm-ups to Varsity jackets and workwear, they are available in all materials and also thicknesses. Some are glossy, rugged, thick and also thin-- and then, certainly, there's natural leather. Finding out to take care of all the variations takes a while as well as practice, yet there are some principles you can adhere to-- regardless of the kind of coat you are dealing with-- that will certainly help ensure success.

STABILIZING AND HOOPING

Before starting any kind of task, it is necessary to choose the correct stabilizer. Fortunately, the selections are easy when it comes to jackets. For light-weight coats, like wind breakers and also various other nylon coats, a sheet of tearaway stabilizer need to suffice. For thicker coats, little or no stabilizer whatsoever is required.

When making your choice, remember that the secret is how much an item stretches. Thick coats have little stretch and so much cellular lining that including one more layer of something is not truly helping anything. If you stress over distortion, throw an item of tearaway stabilizer behind it and that will be greater than sufficient. The only time a cutaway stabilizer is required is when you're embroidering stretchy knit coats.

Hooping coats, specifically thick ones, always is an obstacle. They are larger than a normal-size garment. Often, embroiderers don't have a template for the mounting board to fit the back hoop dimension and also there are very few recommendations for you to know whether the coat is hooped right.

If you stitch a lot of coats, it pays to buy or make a mounting theme for your framing board, or have a table that appropriates for hooping these larger items. It doesn't have to be expensive; I use an old school desk. I discover it is the ideal size for the coat and it likewise permits me to apply more descending pressure as I attempt to press thick jackets right into a hoop.

LINING IT UP

The point of using a hooping device is to aid in getting points lined up regularly from item to piece. Coats can be a little challenging when it concerns alignment, particularly when they do not have many marks or joints. Facility joints create easy alignment, and also lots of coats have a seam up around the shoulders, that makes a great, straight line to recommendation. Just make certain the style remains below that shoulder joint for proper placement.

If there are no joints or various other reference marks, begin by noting where you desire the center of the style to be. Positioning guides say to place the layout 7-10 inches below the neck. This depends on the dimension of the layout as well as the style of the coat.

You constantly can reference the sleeves and also all-time low of the coat, as well. Line up the clips on the hoop with the sleeves to help straighten out the layout. After that, to ensure straightness, step from each side of the hoop to the bottom of the coat to ensure it is even. I use the tab on the hoop where the steel clips are screwed on for the recommendation point on each side of the hoop.

PRESSING THINGS IN

Hooping a slim coat isn't truly a big deal. Thick coats, nevertheless, are one more story. Relying on its density, there are different techniques you can use to obtain the coat onto the embroidery machine, and also there are some traditional and not-so-conventional strategies for achieving this.

A lot of jackets you stitch will certainly fit in a hoop; they simply need a lot of effort as well as strength to do so. In these cases, you can attempt to loosen the adjusting screw more than what need to be needed to hold the coat prior to hooping. When the item is hooped, simply tighten up the screw.

Usually, it is not advised to utilize tools to help in tightening up the screw-- yet I make an exception in the case of thick, resilient products like hefty coats. It occasionally requires even more utilize than can just be generated by even the best of fingers. A set of pliers (or screwdriver, depending upon your changing screw) may remain in order.

Most of the moment, jackets should be hooped inverted due to the fact that the waist has a bigger opening than the neck. That suggests less product will be accumulated in the back, and it makes the jacket less complicated to jump on and also off the maker. It also is much less likely to catch on something or push the hoop off the device.

There are numerous hoops on the market with numerous attributes to aid with these issues. Allied's Grid-Lock collection includes a really lengthy readjusting screw that enables the hoop to open broader. These hoops likewise include grid lines to help with alignment.

When pressing the inner ring into the hoop, begin with one side and afterwards the other rather than attempting to press the entire hoop in entirely. This "heel-to-toe" technique assists for leverage and also to line things up. Let's state I'm making use of the top-shoulder joint as a mark. I can line up and also establish that side of the hoop initially, after that press in the bottom side.

Another option is to utilize a larger-than-necessary hoop. I understand this violates the conventional wisdom that says to make use of the smallest-possible hoop, but in some cases it is nearly difficult to obtain a thick jacket right into hoop of a smaller sized size. The additional area in a bigger hoop makes this possible. This periodically is the case, especially with smaller placements.

The hoop popping apart is one of the most discouraging things that can occur when dealing with thick coats. This typically happens right after you get it hooped and also are moving it to the equipment. Even worse is when it occurs while embroidery. To alleviate this trouble, I utilize plastic springtime clamps around the outside of the hoop. You have to be careful to ensure they do not hit anything, yet that they assist keep the hoop together while sewing.

Whatever you do, some coats just will not fit in a hoop. Do not stress. There are means to get things onto the needlework equipment that aren't in a hoop. For beginners, when utilizing a normal hoop as well as glue stabilizer, you can stick the item into the hoop. To do this, hoop the stabilizer with the peel-away paper still on it. Once it is hooped, score the paper to as well as peel it away. Put the hoop onto the machine and afterwards straighten the coat over it. It is a good concept to utilize basting stitches at the start of the design to better secure it to the stabilizer. Basting stitches are truly lengthy (9mm-10mm) running stitches around the beyond the style that can be utilized to tack it down prior to the needlework starts. The size makes them simple to eliminate as soon as the style is completed.

This is the same concept as the Fast Frames and the EMS HoopTech Quick Change structures use. These supply a less complicated means to obtain the jacket onto the machine as opposed to hooping truly thick things.

Nevertheless, there are a few downsides to utilizing this method. First is the alignment. Since the hoop is on the within, there is no visual recommendation that will certainly suggest whether it is straight. Second, the coat's cellular lining will stick, leaving the outer layer to move. To overcome this, I connect the plastic springtime secures around the outside of the hoop to hold things together.

You can now really eagerly anticipate the cooler weather and the subsequent coat orders you will get this season. They may need a little even more job, but the payback is absolutely worth it. You can unwind as well as appreciate the attractive autumn leaves while your maker ends up those long, lucrative jacket back runs.

[grestionves]

Embroidery Thread Update for CUSTOM IRON ON PATCHES providers

Rather than neglecting the evident, focus on all the strings offered to today's embroiderers. visit this page Everyone recognize that 40 weight is the embroiderer's daily, go-to, general-purpose needlework thread. Yet if you are intending to end up formats that are special, personalized as well as also considered past the standard, it's important to identify the different other string kinds that go to your disposal. Complying with is a summary of numerous kinds of strings that get on the market; taking into consideration that they are not general function, each would absolutely be thought of a specialized string. But don't let the "S" word scare you. Some need little to no special focus, as well as having a toolbox of principles will absolutely ensure you are understood for your imagination and also analytic abilities. FINE DETAIL & & SMALL LETTERING Count on 60-weight needlework thread, CUSTOM IRON ON PATCHES, supplied in both rayon along with polyester, for great details as well as tiny message that can go less than 4mm. It asks for a smaller needle, yet will permit you to generate text, shading along with other fantastic info where general-purpose, 40-weight thread might not. It is conveniently offered in a selection of shades, normally Pantone matched and additionally matched to its 40-weight matchings. Fairly brand-new to the market is a 75-weight string, used in polyester, for when a format asks for truly small detail. When beginning a job that supplies a difficulty in the dimension of the letters in a logo layout, or the detail that is prepared for, 60- or 75-weight string is ideal for problem repairing. Make your digitizer experienced about any kind of detail at the start of a job, given that tweaking density may be vital. Due to the fact that a smaller needle will absolutely offer the very best results, some embroiderers will definitely "mark" a solitary needle to the increasingly noticeable 60-weight string in black or white for stitching the text in a logo style, thus conserving the minute of changing needles. GLIMMER & & SHINE To jazz up styles, metal string can be located in smooth, twisted, strong and variegated kinds, as well as numerous weights as well as tones. Some will definitely hold up to industrial-strength laundering, while others are made for facility, distinct residence decor. When choosing a metallic string, regularly take into consideration the item you are stitching, as well as likewise pick the longevity along with weight of your string as necessary. You can turn an ordinary attire right into an actually cutting-edge wearable, or produce a throw cushion that is a focal point of a house. Metal strings are perfect for blending right into a basic style to consist of a component of shock and also ensure that both you-- in addition to your client-- stand out from the team. Integrated with general-purpose rayon or polyester thread, a shiny steel makes a vibrant declaration. And for an added theatrical look, there is the sparkling influence of a different sort of metal thread, where the special turning offers an additional unique as well as gleaming result. The makers' recommendations on needle dimension along with maker tension should be stuck to for optimal results. As a whole, the maker's string stress should be developed a little looser than for standard 40-weight strings. Also, the device needs to run somewhat slower, and also for much heavier weight strings, the needle measurement will certainly improve. SHADING & & TONE You can create deepness, or shading, in needlework with the addition of matte-finish string. By integrating it with glossy 40-weight rayon or glossy 40-weight polyester string, you can accomplish a feeling of "layering." Matte-finish needlework string is ideal for use as "skin" when individuals or faces are related to a style. When subtlety or an added masculine look demand to be completed, as in tone-on-tone monogrammeds, matte-finish string will certainly offer the wanted effect. One matte-finish needlework string on the market is particularly colorfast and also is created to stand up to large amounts of ultraviolet rays from the sunlight, a fantastic selection for patio area cushions, watercraft covers, and so on . HAND-EMBROIDERED LOOK With its rough texture, wool-blend string will absolutely offer an appealing, hand-embroidered look. The large satin stitch, longer running stitch and also a variation of the covering stitch all are exceptional alternatives for this distinctive string. Numerous various other factors to think about when collaborating with this 12-weight thread are needle measurement, stress in addition to device price. The thick wool-blend string, with normally muted tones, calls for that you use a # 100/16 needle. Thinking about the usually" hirsute" appearance of the wool-blend string, clean the bobbin situations and also rotary location regularly than with numerous other threads. NATURAL & & APPEALING Popular with quilters, a cotton-blend thread likewise will certainly offer hand-embroidered results. Cotton's natural residential properties and additionally matte surface make it prominent for those attempting a special sewed style. The high cotton internet material in the 12-weight mix makes the resulting layout soft against the skin. This thicker string would definitely ask for a # 100/16 needle for suitable outcomes. SAFETY AND SECURITY FIRST Fireproof needlework thread is considered a specialized thread, yet not always one you would certainly choose unless asked for. It was established for use on clothes, logo designs or on any kind of type of garments where fire security is a concern. Industries such as oil, aerial, fire control, and also sports such as automobile racing or flying, are all prime opportunities for using this string. One of the most efficient fireproof threads are made from 100 %Aramid, a DuPont product. While not a best string for anything besides security as well as protection needs, you require to obtain comfy with it for whenever the demand develops. RADIANCE IN THE DARK Never ever before to be utilized when controlled safety and security concerns. worrying exposure are a worry, glow-in-the-dark needlework string was developed for pure originality. As well as likewise while its use can be relatively smart and additionally may add to the user's presence, it does not contain any kind of kind of service warranty of the size or efficiency of its luster. A 40-weight string, it should certainly not need any type of sort of unique element to consider when running. Popular around Halloween for childrenswear or carryall, this thread needs to be" billed" by being held under straight light. It will absolutely hold its gleam in darkness for a dimension of time that remains in percentage with the size of time it was billed. VARIEGATED, MULTI & & OMBRÉ When chosen appropriately, variegated, multi or ombré embroidery threads may actually. lower the number of shades you'll require for a design. As you sew with multicolor as well as likewise variegated strings, they will definitely change from one shade to an additional and also one more. With ombrés, one string will definitely develop various shades of a solitary color. A wide range of selections exist if you select to try a multicolored or shaded appearance, given that rayon, polyester, wool blends as well as metallics all can be located in variants of these random-looking shades. Dealing with these threads takes some experimenting as you uncover the impact the tones will certainly have on your design. Attempt using them in things that are all-natural, such as blooms. , leaves, water, rock and also hair-- along with permit the approximate adjustments of the thread to boost the style. QUICK FILL Ultimately, heavyweight rayon needlework thread might be an excellent option for financial reasons. It is used in 30 in addition to 12 weight. When your layout consists of extensive fill stitches, the 30-weight rayon will certainly fill promptly, lessening thread use in addition to production time. For synopsis stitches, stylish joints, in addition to finishing off the sides of badges along with symbols, 12-weight rayon is a wonderful option. These two threads require an adjustment in needle measurement, as well as would certainly be chosen for the aspects mentioned listed below. Or else, stay with your general-purpose, 40-weight rayon or polyester strings for the majority of your needlework work. With firm added inexpensive than ever, utilize your customers a great deal more creative, distinctive looks. If experiment with different string kinds quits you dead in your tracks, contact your needlework thread carrier. They typically will have suggestions as well as strategies online or in published kind to aid construct your guts. Great deals of will use a cost-free instance with a free layout so you can try unique threads before you dedicate to consisting of supply.

[dreynwatz1]

Needlework Thread Update for CUSTOM IRON ON PATCHES suppliers

Instead of disregarding the evident, pay attention to all the strings supplied to today's embroiderers. Everybody understand that 40 weight is the embroiderer's on a daily basis, go-to, general-purpose embroidery string. Yet if you are intending to turn out layouts that are special, personalized as well as also thought about beyond the criterion, it's important to identify the various other string kinds that go to your disposal. Abiding by is a recap of various sort of strings that are on the marketplace; taking into consideration that they are not general objective, each would definitely be thought about a specialized string. Yet do not let the "S" word scare you. Some need little to no unique emphasis, as well as having a tool kit of principles will absolutely ensure you are known for your imagination as well as analytic capacities.  click here CHARGE DETAIL & & SMALL LETTERING Depend on 60-weight embroidery thread, CUSTOM IRON ON PATCHES, offered in both rayon along with polyester, for fine details as well as little text that can go less than 4mm. It requires a smaller sized needle, yet will allow you to create lettering, shielding along with various other excellent information where general-purpose, 40-weight thread may not. It is easily available in a selection of colors, generally Pantone matched and also matched to its 40-weight matchings. Fairly brand-new to the marketplace is a 75-weight string, supplied in polyester, for when a design calls for absolutely small detail. When starting a job that gives an obstacle in the measurement of the letters in a logo layout, or the detail that is prepared for, 60- or 75-weight string is optimum for issue dealing with. Make your digitizer knowledgeable concerning any kind of sort of information at the start of a task, given that tweaking density could be essential. Because a smaller sized needle will certainly offer the greatest outcomes, some embroiderers will absolutely "assign" a singular needle to the significantly famous 60-weight string in black or white for sewing the message in a logo design, therefore saving the minute of changing needles. TWINKLE & & SHINE To jazz up layouts, steel string can be located in smooth, twisted, strong as well as variegated kinds, in addition to various weights along with shades. Some will definitely stand up to industrial-strength laundering, while others are created facility, unique house design. When picking a metal string, continuously think about the product you are sewing, as well as also select the long life as well as weight of your string as required. You can turn an average outfit right into a truly cutting-edge wearable, or produce a throw cushion that is a centerpiece of a house. Metallic strings are ideal for mixing right into a standard style to include a component of shock and also ensure that both you-- along with your customer-- stick out from the group. Integrated with general-purpose rayon or polyester thread, a glossy metal makes a lively affirmation. And for an additional theatrical look, there is the gleaming impact of a numerous sort of steel string, where the unique turning deals an extra distinct and gleaming result. The manufacturers' suggestions on needle dimension along with manufacturer tension should be adhered to for optimum end results. Generally, the maker's string stress need to be developed a little looser than for traditional 40-weight strings. Also, the maker must run rather slower, and likewise for much heavier weight strings, the needle dimension will certainly increase. SHADING & & TONE You can develop deepness, or shading, in needlework with the addition of matte-finish string. By combining it with shiny 40-weight rayon or shiny 40-weight polyester string, you can complete a sensation of "layering." Matte-finish needlework string is optimum for usage as "skin" when people or faces are related to a design. When nuance or an extra manly look need to be completed, as in tone-on-tone monograms, matte-finish string will give the desired influence. One matte-finish needlework string on the marketplace is specifically colorfast as well as likewise is created to take on large amounts of ultraviolet rays from the sunlight, a great choice for outdoor patio location cushions, watercraft covers, and so on . HAND-EMBROIDERED LOOK With its severe appearance, wool-blend string will absolutely provide an enticing, hand-embroidered look. The large satin stitch, longer running stitch as well as likewise a variation of the blanket stitch all are superb alternatives for this unique string. Numerous other factors to consider when working with this 12-weight thread are needle dimension, tension in addition to gadget price. The thick wool-blend string, with normally soft tones, needs that you make use of a # 100/16 needle. Thinking about the typically" hirsute" appearance of the wool-blend thread, tidy the bobbin situations and rotating location routinely than with numerous other threads. NATURAL & & APPEALING Popular with quilters, a cotton-blend thread also will certainly offer hand-embroidered outcomes. Cotton's all-natural houses as well as also matte finish make it preferred for those attempting a special stitched layout. The high cotton internet material in the 12-weight mix makes the resulting design soft versus the skin. This thicker thread would definitely require a # 100/16 needle for optimal outcomes. SECURITY FIRST Fireproof needlework thread is considered a specialized string, however not always one you would certainly choose unless asked for. It was established for use on clothes, logos or on any type of apparel where fire protection is a concern. Industries such as oil, airborne, fire control, as well as sports such as automobile racing or flying, are all prime opportunities for utilizing this string. The most efficient fireproof strings are made from 100 %Aramid, a DuPont item. While not a finest thread for anything besides safety and also safety and security demands, you need to obtain comfy with it for whenever the demand emerges. GLOW IN THE DARK Never ever before to be utilized when regulated safety worries. worrying presence are a concern, glow-in-the-dark needlework string was created for pure individuality. As well as additionally while its usage can be fairly clever and also might add to the wearer's presence, it does not contain any type of kind of guarantee of the size or performance of its gleam. A 40-weight string, it ought to not need any type of kind of special factor to take into consideration when running. Popular around Halloween for childrenswear or carryall, this string calls for to be" charged" by being held under straight light. It will absolutely hold its glow in darkness for a dimension of time that is in proportion with the length of time it was billed. VARIEGATED, MULTI & & OMBRÉ When picked appropriately, variegated, multi or ombré needlework threads might as a matter of fact. reduced the number of shades you'll need for a design. As you sew with multicolor and also variegated strings, they will absolutely alter from one color to an additional and also another. With ombrés, one string will definitely develop various shades of a single color. A wide variety of choices exist if you choose to attempt a multicolored or shaded look, given that rayon, polyester, wool blends along with metallics all can be found in variants of these random-looking tones. Handling these threads takes some exploring as you discover the effect the shades will have on your format. Try utilizing them in items that are all-natural, such as blossoms. , leaves, water, rock and also hair-- along with permit the arbitrary changes of the thread to boost the design. FAST FILL Ultimately, heavyweight rayon needlework string may be an ideal option for economic factors. It is provided in 30 as well as 12 weight. When your format includes extensive fill stitches, the 30-weight rayon will fill up without delay, reducing string use along with production time. For summary stitches, sophisticated joints, in addition to settling the sides of badges as well as symbols, 12-weight rayon is a fantastic option. These two strings need an alteration in needle dimension, as well as would absolutely be chosen for the aspects stated below. Or else, stick to your general-purpose, 40-weight rayon or polyester threads for the majority of your needlework work. With business extra budget-friendly than in the past, utilize your clients a great deal extra innovative, one-of-a-kind appearances. If try different string kinds stops you dead in your tracks, contact your needlework string supplier. They usually will have pointers and methods online or in printed kind to assist construct your intestines. Great deals of will supply a cost-free example with a free of charge design so you can attempt special threads before you dedicate to consisting of supply.

[babylockembroidery-blog]

BabyLock Embroidery Machine Can Do It All With Ease

BabyLock Embroidery Machine Can Do It All with EaseNowadays, there are lots of embroidery makers available on the market. You should locate a needlework equipment with their names on the top! You need to study about their features prior to acquiring them and if you are a beginner then you need to get yourself the one which is really simple as well as enjoyable to use. You can conveniently take terrific benefit of hundreds of integrated in stitches and also you can additionally download countless needlework patterns from the web to achieve specialist, advanced, splendid and flawless outcomes. As well as if you are an expert then it does not actually matter. There are several needlework equipments available, which are actually smart and also they can straight connect to the USB port of your computer system as well as you can then discover more suggestions and skills. Needlework machines are simply perfect for every stitching task however it requires excellent method to do it so.

You can totally rely upon the BabyLock Embroidery Machine. These embroidery makers feature ingenious functions. Babylock embroidery device brings your inspiration into life. A babylock needlework maker will undoubtedly improve the creative thinking of your style. However, Baby lock offers a wide range of embroidery makers so you can easily find the one that fits your demands. Likewise to discuss that any type of babylock embroidery device is several as well as versatile of them have constructed in embroidery designs as well as specialized stitches, they are additionally best for quilting. Each of them comes with various features! They all are truly very easy to use to if you are not an expert after that there is absolutely nothing to stress. You can conveniently collaborate with a babylock needlework equipment and also create one of the most stunning and specialist layouts. These devices can conserve a great deal of time! They come in range of costs so choose the one that matches your budget plan. Just simply take pleasure in the love of stitching with a child lock equipment!

Hat Embroidery Machine The Great Unit Who Beautify Caps

Hat Embroidery Machine the Great Unit Who Beautify CapsA hat needlework maker is something which is particularly developed to do the finest embroidering on caps and also hats. These machines are the industrial as well as specialist units that provide the flawless outcomes to please the requirements of the clients. There are several reputable business that are supplying us with the very best hat embroidery makers ever! Though, the sector leaders are Janome, Brother, and also Singer. Their equipments are really very easy to change out threads in simple words they are actually very easy and also enjoyable to use. The expert hat embroidery equipments have concerning 10 over needles. Also to point out that the best embroidery equipments reveal you the side corners of the layout prior to starting so you are able to do the essential adjustments.

Hat needlework makers are most perhaps located everywhere and typically seen at the malls. They call for unique tools just as it's great to utilize 75/11 needle. The large needles are made use of as the hats are made up of tough product. When speaking about the thread, the "Rayon" thread is generally made use of one of the most and also it can hold up truly well without breaking throughout the process of sewing. The string comes in 2 weights that are, 30 and also 40. Embroidery rate plays a vital role as it is determined in stitches per minute. The greater the rate the quicker you will have the ability to make more hats. An embroidery area for caps need to be about 270 levels as well as included at least 2 cap frames that is hoops. A hat needlework equipment is specifically created to embroider hats as well as caps. The kind of the cap is a fantastic aspect. There are generally 2 sorts of caps that is structured as well as disorganized caps. A hat needlework machine aids you to create the best designs that can give you as well as your firm acknowledgment. Get it carried out in one of the most professional mean by us. We're giving our high quality digitizing services with the fastest turnaround as well as with the most inexpensive cost ever!

Visit: custom embroidered patches

[pbandjesse]

So i might be mildly allergic to hazel nuts?? I had a chocolate bar with hazelnut in it and my face and chest got really itchy and splotchy and hot and red. It was kind of scary. I went to the bathroom and wash my face. I got a paper towel and just kind of held cold water on myself for a while. But nothing was helping. So I kind of went over to Tiffany and was just like help?. And she went totally mom mode on me. Which is exactly what I needed in that moment. And thankfully everyone in the room was very concerned. I don't know why I was so anxious just to ask if anyone had a Benadryl but thankfully someone did and I took that and felt better. But now I guess I got to watch out for hazelnuts?

The rest of the day wasn't nearly as interesting. I mean it was still a good day but nothing terribly exciting happened. I slept okay and woke up early. I got dressed and left here around 8:15. I went over to CVS to pick up needle and thread and then went over to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast. The bus is supposed to come at 9:05. The bus actually came at 9:35. So another day where I waited almost 40 minutes for the bus. And that was after sitting in Dunkin' donuts and eating my bagel for 15 minutes. So I was not terribly pleased.

But because I was excited about winning some money last night I bought munchkins for everyone and no one cared that I was late. We were just working on lesson plans. But I got to tell everyone what happened and they were all very excited for me and it's cool being able to talk about some of the stuff went went down when I lived in Minneapolis. And then it was just a good working morning.

I wasn't in the mindset to be typing yet. So I spent a little time drawing my dumb Furby tattoo idea. It's not dumb! I don't like that I've been feeling self-conscious about my hobbies lately. I'm trying not to use negative language to associate with them. I'm actually very excited about my little drawing. The idea is that it's patches the clock Furby. And because her screen doesn't work anymore my idea is to have the screen display the word love in digital font. Because love is stored in the Furby. So I think I'm going to get two tattoos in the fall. They're both going to be small but I'm excited about them. My arm tattoo is been feeling kind of like it's missing pieces lately. It'll be nice to have more filling on the half sleeve.

I finished my lesson plan mostly. I want to go over it a little bit more tomorrow just to make sure everything is okay and everyone understands what I'm hoping for in the project. I also finished all of my power points I wanted to make. And got some laughs out of Marcus because on the what we expect for you PowerPoint we created I specifically looked for pictures and clipart of teachers at chalkboards. I found a white lady that had brown hair. And I specifically search for a black man. So that we would have representation on the board of us. And he thought that was so funny. Actually made him laugh a few times today. The other time was when he told me he didn't want to eat any more munchkins because he was trying to look good for the beach. Get his body back in shape. And I told him that the beach is going to get whatever kind of body I bring it, just complete deadpan.

At lunch time we convince Marshall to buy us all food. Me and the other Jessica we're having a dance off and it was all very silly and there was a good time. We walked over to the Chinese place. Then some people broke off to go get Subway. And others to get pizza. It was fun being out with everyone.

We all got back and we ate and then it was to work again. I spent pretty much the rest of the afternoon working on my example quilt square. It's basically a miniature crazy quilt representing what they're larger crazy quilt might look like. First I found pieces I like and I cut them into squares. I sew them together. And then I took all of that and cut it up into pieces. And then I sewed it together again. I'm very pleased. Because there's triangles and squares and rectangles and I think it looks really neat. Once I feel like all of its own together well enough I'm going to go back in and bead some and paint some and embroider an applique some. So that the kids can hold it and kind of have a better idea of what I'm hoping that their quilt will look like.

I stayed for a while. My allergic reaction happen during that time too. But I still got a lot done. I didn't finish showing it. I'm going to have to do that tomorrow but I pinned everything up at least for what I didn't so. We didn't have any straight pain so I had to use an entire pack of sewing needles but that's okay. I've done worse.

We finished up at 3. I cleaned up and then fitsum took me home. I was overheated outside. The humidity and rain this week has been Wild. It just feels very heavy when you're outside. As soon as I leave the safety of the box fan. That's terrible. So when I got here I was kind of uncomfortable. But I got cleaned up and put some stuff away. There was going to be a showing at my apartment at 5 and I did not want to be here. So at 4:30 I left.

I walk to the health food store to pick up new soap and some vegetarian beef jerky. I had a nice conversation about Alexander Calder with the guy at the counter. And then I went to Chipotle for nachos. I was upset when I left you pull it though because I was open the door some idiot on a scooter was right at 5 and I almost hit her with the door. She should not have been on the sidewalk and she specifically should have been that close to the door! I could have really hurt her. So I was a little frazzled when I got back to James.

But I got there and cooled off. I took a shower. And then I worked on Hemming / resizing the jumpsuit that I bought like a month ago. Finally figured out how to take in the legs and the crotch area because it just was a mess. Took me about an hour and a half total to pin, cut, and sew it. But once I did I was very happy. It looks really good now. Not work appropriate but I'm very excited to have it anyway. I did use an entire spool of thread today though. It was a little spool but still.

I laid in bed and watched videos. James got back around 6:30. He took a shower and then he made us Falafel for dinner. He made whipped garlic. Which I can still taste even though I brush my teeth twice. But it was really good and then we just hung out for a while.

I came home around 9. I took another shower. Just to rinse off. And I've just been hanging out with CP since then. I took all of the charms off of my charm bracelet and put them on a necklace. I think that I'm more likely to wear it right now that way. And I think I'm going to get ready to go to sleep now. I feel very tired. Tomorrow's our last lesson plan day as a group. It's been a really nice day though. A really nice week. I hope you all sleep great tonight. Be safe out there. Have fun

[regrettablewritings]

First Lines

Rules: Paste a short sentence/paragraph you think a potential reader may find intriguing from your last 20 stories and then tag 10 other authors. Tagged by: @mrsrafaelbarba a literal eternity ago and I only got to it now because my memory is such shite and I am an awful person to tag. 😰   I tag . . .: Well, dang, who hasn’t done this already? I mean?? @xemopeachx if you want in on this, you’re up but like?? Anyone else wants to do it, feel free to.

I’ve realized that some of the last things I did were, like, Would Includes so lemme try and remember the last 20 actual stories I wrote . . . Dang, there’s a lot of Bruce Wayne and Barba and Credence.

1. Day Bi Day (Rafael Barba x Reader):

“Jeffrey Dean Morgan,” he repeated slowly, as if trying to get a feel for the name himself. He then pursed his lips critically. “(Y/N), he’s old enough to be your father.”

You shrugged, albeit with an obvious lack of true consideration of Rafael’s point. “Yeah, well, you know . . . He’s not.” You seemed to leave it at that as you leaned toward your bowl of cereal. From the way your voice trailed, he took it as a sign of self-accepted defeat.

Rafael soundlessly scoffed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head for good measure. You sure had weird tastes and no right to question his at this rate. It was quiet for the next moment, with Rafael trying to think of whomever else he found attractive, and with the both of you chewing your newest respectful spoonfuls.

Therefore, with the silence settling in, it was quite easy for Rafael to hear you quickly mutter into your bowl, “Sure is my Daddy™, though.”

The rest of the silence was shattered by the dramatically bombastic sound of Rafael coughing over a piece of cereal that he had carelessly allowed to fall the wrong way.

2. The One Reason to Love the Glasshouse (Bruce Wayne x Reader):

It didn’t take long before everything – the pitter-patter of the rain, the heat and pleasure of Bruce’s presence on yours, his gentle breathing, the overall state of relaxation you were in – melded together into a creamy, soft feeling. As your eyes closed once more to let the essence of this rainy morning engulf you, you confirmed what you only ever did on days like this: You had a love-hate relationship with Bruce’s home. But so long as it could provide the two of you moments like this, you wouldn’t mind tolerating it.

3. Say Yes to Distress (Rafael Barba x Reader):

Against his better judgement, Rafael turned away from the sanctuary of plastic bags and to you. He regretted it the moment he laid eyes on you.

This was it. This was the dress. Ballroom style and strapless, yet another sweetheart neckline, but one embroidered with intricate lacework. Patterns that spread down to the bell of the dress before scattering into patches that resembled dripping bouquets of flowers. Organza fabric creating a light essence about the dress, as though it were made of clouds, all topped with a small waist belt of pearls and lace. It wasn’t cute like the first dress or sexy like the second. It was, in a word, perfection.  

The expression on your face, however, was not one worthy of yourself in such a gown. It was one of worry and confusion. And it hurt Rafael that he was the one who was causing it.

4. How to Be a Good Catholic, Part 1 (Sonny Carisi x Reader):

“Father, I stole: My boyfriend had saved a cannoli for himself for after work and I couldn’t help myself – I ate it!” Dammit. And it’d sounded so good in the heat of the moment. You were a grown woman; why were you coming in here with a confession children in Sunday School used? Before you could stop yourself, you added in, “I went out and bought a new one for him, though. Walked six blocks in the evening so he’d have a cannoli ready for him as soon as he stepped a toe through the door.”

If you didn’t know any better, you could’ve sworn you heard Father Murphy huffing to supress a chuckle.

“I see … Indeed, stealing is a crime. Though, I must commend you for taking responsibility and setting things right – ”

“I also snuck a bag of cherry sours from a bodega into the movies once because I didn’t want to pay the unreasonable concessions price,” you weakly blabbed.

“That, uh … It’s against theater protocol but I wouldn’t call that a sin necessarily.”

“Oh.”

5. How to Be a Good Catholic, Part 2 (Sonny Carisi x Reader):

It was amazing how cravings worked: You could be perfectly fine, not want to eat anything in particular and just eat whatever simply because you needed nourishment to keep getting through the day. But the moment you’re told you can’t eat a certain something, no matter how often you may or may not eat it, it suddenly becomes all you can think about. That was what made Lent maddening for you as a child. It was as though the season held special powers beyond serving as a countdown for your lord and savior basically becoming a zombie: It could make you crave cafeteria nuggets like a junkie craved a fix. But considering that said zombie-savior got beaten, nailed to a cross, and was forced to wear a crown of thorns for you, abstaining from meat a couple of Fridays for 40 days was the least you could do besides doing nothing at all.  

… But Zombie Jesus, it was so hard.

6. Pink (Rafael Barba x Reader):

If you liked pink before, dating and eventually marrying Rafael had made you adore it: It striped some of his shirts and dominated others; it was the color of one of his many suspenders; it speckled quite a few ties in intricate designs, muted in pastel form on his pocket square. A bright, electric hue as his yachting shirt, much to your amusement. It was the color your cheeks would assume every time he complimented you, the color his face would turn whenever you praised your beloved husband for how incredible you found his work ethic. It was the color of the tie you’d picked out for him that morning as he dressed himself up for work, and it was the color of the roses he’d had delivered to your workplace yesterday, which were now placed in a glass vase centered at the kitchen table.

It was also the color of the two lines on the stick you’d been staring at for the past ten minutes.

7. Stripulation (Rafael Barba x Reader):

“I must say,” she said, her voice changing from accusatory to an attempt at seductive. She adjusted the arm under her breasts more, making sure that they popped further into acknowledgement. “You’ve gone from little lavishing lawyer to quite the law-abiding citizen, Counselor Cutiepie.” She chuckled as she watched the object of her desire tense up at the name. She glanced downward at his suitcase, still open and still in the process of being unpacked. “Still have a thing for suspenders, I see,” she commented.

“Crap” would have been too simple of a word to describe what sprinted through Rafael’s mind at that moment. But whatever word it was, it began to run laps as the woman began to saunter over to him, slowly and emphasizing every movement her hips made along the way. She only stopped when she left barely a foot between them.

“Oh my,” she breathed, “you have such lovely eyes. I never would’ve been able to tell they were green of all things in that old VIP room; all the lights were dim and red! But I wonder … Do those hips still snap like they used to?”

8. The Color of Loving (Modern Daddy!Credence Barebone):

“It” being when Amari, babbling and calling for “Daddy” ran up to her pale father, chubby brown arms lifted to signify she wanted him to hold her. Credence initially didn’t realize what was going on around him, only focusing on his beautiful baby girl as he lifted her to his waist with a smile on both their faces. It was instinct: After living a life on edge and pitying every second of his own existence, why would he bother to willingly do so now that he felt so happy and complete? It was only when his little treasure occupied herself with laying her head on his shoulder that he happened to look around himself.

People were staring.

Not too many, but just enough to make him feel uncomfortable. As much as he was able to avoid the sense of self-pitying from his previous life, Credence was still very much a nervous man by nature; if the right amount of people stared at him while buying groceries, he’d quickly divert his eyes to the dingy linoleum. But in that precise moment at the park, he couldn’t place why they could be staring at him. Did he step in something? Did he unknowingly sit on some kid’s abandoned bar of chocolate? Was there something he happened to be in the same direction of – ? Credence tensed: they were looking at him and Amari. As a unit. As two things to be compared against.

9. A Portrait Worth a Thousand Words (Bruce Wayne x Reader):

If Thomas was where Bruce had inherited his looks and personality, Martha was surely where he’d gained his sense of grace and elegant flair from. The dark-haired beauty sat, poised and finely-dressed in a manner that made you question if she had just been a socialite or if she was truly a queen. Her pearls, simple if observed alone, caressed her neck and breastbone in a careful way that reminded you of classical paintings. But the crowning jewel of intimidation was the expression she eternally wore: Not one of malice or disgust, but one of sheer coolness. Like a woman made of iron hidden behind silk. Her countenance suggested a scary grace under pressure, an icy intelligence, an all-knowing one. Even the redness of her painted lips were classily poised as if in observance of all that she could survey, analyzing and judging every little thing. Including you, in all the moments you had stared at her and her husband from down the hall up to now as you stood directly in front of them. 

10. A Practice in Happy Memories (Credence Barebone x Reader):

And for a moment, it looked like a mere vapor, just as you had expected his first successful attempt would be. What you didn’t expect, much less Credence, was that merely two seconds later, it began to morph.

It grew legs – thin, bony ones – and a body just as skeletal. A whip-like tail lashed through the air as its narrow, gaunt face shook into life. Its wings, like a bat, stayed open as it galloped through the air and around the dining room, leaving wisps of vapor and light in its wake.

Your mouth hung in complete awe as your frantically blinked as though just the right amount would disprove what you were seeing. Credence, on the other hand, appeared slightly horrified. What in Merlin’s name had he produced? Was it a mistake? Did he mess up? Did he not focus hard enough? Was … was the happiest memory he could think up not good enough?

11. Soulmate AU - You Share Thoughts with Your Soulmate (Stephen Strange):

In your state hovering just outside the realm of meditation, you heard Stephen sighing. You supposed that it was out of contentment with his achievement of getting you to calm. It therefore seemed peculiar when he risked breaking that induced mode by gently grabbing you by the waist before gingerly placing you on his cross-legged lap. Without another word, he returned his hands into their previous position, closed his eyes again, and began his exercise.

Before he went fully in to his trance, he could just faintly hear your thoughts one more time: “Thank you.”

The smile he produced in response set him a few steps back from achieving the desired state. He didn’t mind.

12. Soulmate AU - Soulmates Get Reincarnated, Usually with Their Memories Still Intact (Tadashi Hamada):

“Hugging is fine!” you cut off, a little too high in tone. You didn’t want to know what else this bot could say that might tarnish his beautiful, pure appearance. You heard Tadashi snicker from his place next to you before turning fully to you, arms held open. When you looked at him with a blush-burned face, he chortled.

“You heard the medical expert,” he teased. It was only when you looked back and forth between himself and Baymax, before shoving yourself into the soft, huggable torso of the latter, that Tadashi’s arms dropped and his face contained complete disbelief.

“Unbelievable,” he muttered, watching you contently rub your face against Baymax’s tummy.

13. Soulmate AU - You Can See Color Once You Meet Your Soulmate (Jonathan Byers x Reader):

You weren’t thinking when your grabbed his hand and began sprinting down the hallway back to the art room. It didn’t even occur to you that you didn’t really know Jonathan, other than the fact that he was your soulmate and a photographer. You were just doing what suddenly came naturally: Wanting your soulmate to be around you. Besides, great things take time; you had to start somewhere. Even if “somewhere” meant dragging your confused, startled, and yet somewhat love-struck soulmate down the hallway. 

14. Valentine’s Day Love Languages - Words of Affirmation (Credence Barebone x Reader):

The still image of the two of you holding hands in the park stared back at him, your blissful smile complimenting his own nervous one. As he passed an enchanted photo, the real Credence couldn’t help but watch the photographed versions of you two reenacting the actions that had occurred up until the photograph had officially been captured: You were trying to get Credence to create a genuine, calm smile. You tried quick jokes, you tried gently tickling his side. Eventually, you settled on kissing his cheek. That did it. By the time the real Credence had past that particular image, the Credence in the photograph was smiling goofily and blushing while the photographed version of you nuzzled his arm affectionately. 

15. Valentine’s Day Love Languages - Physical Touch (Matt Murdock x Reader):

“That doesn’t mean I’m going to force her to do anything to me,” Matt scowled, though he was unsure as to who or what he was scowling over. He tried to calm down in all of his frustration, just barely becoming exhausted in his thought process. “I just … I don’t know what’s up. I know I should ask – I should’ve done that before I talked with you, actually – ”

“Fair enough.”

“ – but as stupid as it is, I can’t help but feel a little, well, scared about it. Don’t give me that look, I know how stupid it is, being scared of this. But I have a good reason to be: Even before we hit the honeymoon stage – hell, even before we started dating – I just wanted (Y/N) in my life. I wasn’t sure how, or even why I wanted to risk that. I just knew that I wanted to be near enough so that she would be a constant in my life. And the messed up part is, even throughout all of this, that’s still something I want.”

Matt went quiet for a moment as if in contemplation. “I guess I’m just hung up on the fact that maybe I did something wrong but she won’t tell me. I’m so used to relying on touch to determine things, y’know? I guess having … Being deprived of this one thing, it’s driving me on edge.”

16. Valentine’s Day Love Languages - Acts of Service (Newt Scamander x Reader):

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you kept chanting. You steadily reached into your coat pocket to retrieve their evening snack of bugs, courtesy of your godawful apartment in Brooklyn. “Daddy’s here. Daddy’s here,” you cooed. It seemed strange, referring to yourself as “daddy.” However, as time went on and you used it more and more, it just made sense and stopped feeling peculiar.

After all, if Newt was “Mummy”, surely that made you “Daddy.” And yet, as Newt heard you say it, saw you feeding the little winged creatures bugs, it felt as though he was only truly hearing you say it for the first time. As loving as Newt was, he knew that gaining an occamy’s trust was a fragile thing to do. It took him a while before he was certain referring to himself as “Mummy” was appropriate. Your willingness to take up the counterpart, however, just felt … right.

17. Valentine’s Day Love Languages - Quality Time (Percival Graves x Reader):

Whatever you said next, whether it had actually been emitted or not, was lost in the fabric of Percival’s shirt. The moment your voice began getting higher and higher with the strangle of your tears, he was out of the chair. It was only when his arms encased you and welcomed you back into the warmth you’d missed so dearly that it all came crumbling down.

Your anxieties, your loneliness, your needs, everything. You no longer felt selfish. You didn’t even feel angry anymore. You weren’t entirely sure what you felt for a moment. But for now, you decided as you weakly wrapped your arms around Percival’s torso, the feeling was relief.

The sitting room, which was usually quiet with the exception of the ticking clock, became filled with the sounds of your crying. After a while, it was accompanied by the sounds of Percival softly attempting to coax you into calmness. Gentle shushes with the faint sound of him gingerly running a hand through your hair, things he’d learned in the past that helped to soothe you. He used to believe that the past was so long ago because he had been doing his job. But now, with the revelation of your feelings, he began to suspect that it was simply just that he hadn’t been there for you.

18. Valentine’s Day Love Languages - Receiving Gifts (Jonathan Byers x Reader):

“Yes, I am leaving for NYU in a couple of months. Yes, I keep giving you gifts when I should probably be saving up. But . . .” His shoulders slouched slightly. “I want to give you things. I want to give you everything. Even the things I can’t afford. For now. And even though I’m leaving soon, I still want to assure you that I can still give you those things: A happy life, a home, a family, whatever you want.”

19. All the Write Words, Part 4 (Library AU!Vladimir Ranskahov x Reader)

For the first two years the Ranskahov brothers had been in America, the Veles Taxi & Limousine Services had been the Prohaska Cab Garage. Old Man Prohaska himself was a stubborn old man whose spit-at-your-shoes attitude hadn’t won him many companions. It did, however, win him a bizarre and rather cruel death by a bowling ball bash to the cranium. At the time, Anatoly had been one of the better options to leave the garage with and while it was highly likely that he wasn’t even in the will to begin with, the nervous lawyer who kept staring at an oddly calm and quiet Vladimir stated otherwise. And just like that, the garage was under new ownership. No questions asked.

Not much had changed under the Ranskahov ruling: It had always employed an abundance of Russians, it usually had rap or cheesy Russian folk music blaring from an old boom box. The mini collage of centerfolds and pinups only changed by gaining a few more additions and business went on as it had before because generally, customers didn’t have a preference for taxi services by name. Just do the job, do it good, and they’d go on their merry way. The only apparent change was the transformation of the logo into Veles Taxi. That, and maybe – just maybe – the powerful presence of tall, scary Russian men had increased since the brothers had taken over.

20. All the Write Words, Part 5 (Library AU!Vladimir Ranskahov x Reader):

He had brownish-red hair combed in a lax manner that still managed to portray an air of certainty. It didn’t matter that his eyes were shielded behind a pair of strange, red, round-framed glasses; they were probably just as warm and welcoming as the smile he wore. Basically, he was everything Vladimir wasn’t: closer in age to (Y/N), warm, and smiling. Vladimir had to seriously consider whether or not to throw up in order to catch (Y/N)’s attention.

Fortunately for the carpet, he didn’t have to; the brunette stopped laughing and turned to his general direction.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he apologized. “Were we being too loud? I understand that it’s a library, quite unprofessional …” Vladimir’s eye twitched slightly. His voice was low and warm. Like hot cider. Was every person who stepped into this goddamn place so pleasant and gushy? It was at this point that (Y/N) finally managed to stop laughing and turned her attention to her protégé.

[ecoorganic]

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

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Alice Driver | Longreads | August 2020 | 9 minutes (2,482 words)

“We need to see the name of the person. We need to know who you want to attract,” the vendor told me as he held up a handful of dried hummingbirds, their four bodies dangling from his fingertips by red pieces of string, feathers worn but shimmering emerald in patches as if clinging to life via sheer radiance. He wanted to know the name of a man, but I was thinking of a painting.

Frida Kahlo wears a dead hummingbird around her neck. She painted Self-Portrait with Thorn Necklace and Hummingbird in 1940 just after she divorced Diego Rivera and ended an affair with photographer Nickolas Muray. The dead hummingbird is considered a love charm in Mexico, and it is one that would endure and eventually be exported to other countries.

“There is such a lack of love that everyone wants them, young and old,” the vendor told me, agreeing to let me record his answers only if I didn’t share his name, before recounting the steps I needed to take for the hummingbird charm to work:

Write the name of the person you want to love you on a piece of paper.

Put it in a red cloth bag with the hummingbird.

Bathe the hummingbird in the perfume or scent of the person you want to love you on the first day of each month.

Repeat with a new hummingbird for each person you want to fall in love with you.

It had not crossed my mind that anyone would buy more than one hummingbird. But, as a vendor named Sansón explained, “Men want many lovers.” Both Diego and Frida had many lovers, I thought.

The vendors, excited by my line of questioning, seem to think I will be interested in the idea of trapping many lovers with many hummingbirds. That, in fact, is my idea of hell. It reminds me of past boyfriends, who, upon realizing the scope and frequency of my work travel, voiced fears that I had a boyfriend in every city I worked in. It is all I can do to make one person happy and understand them down to the story of every scar. Even then, it will never be the focus of all my energy.

As the vendor told me this, I was standing in a narrow passageway in the Mercado Sonoroa in Mexico City. There, you can acquire all kinds of animals — legal (cages full of chicks dyed pink, purple, yellow, and green) and illegal (puma cubs). It is one of the more dangerous places I’ve worked as a reporter, because in the areas where black market animals are being bought and sold, taking out a camera or a recorder is going to attract unwanted attention. The last time I worked on a project around the market, I was told that a photographer wandering around without permission got beat up.

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Anyone working in Mexico knows that permission comes in many forms, from the jefe of the plaza or the market or the street corner, usually a man who is hard to find, one who has many helpers lounging around and saying things like, “The jefe doesn’t have a schedule, but I’ll tell him you stopped by.” The only way to really get in and do interviews is to go with someone local, so I contacted my friend Luisa who lives in the La Merced neighborhood near the market, and she contacted a vendor at the market who would accompany us and who knew one of the hummingbird sellers and got permission for us to interview him. I went to the market to do interviews for CBC, Canada’s national public radio station, for a piece they were producing about a National Geographic article on the illegal hummingbird charm trade.

To get to the black market hummingbird charms, I passed through the section of the market dedicated to Our Lady of Holy Death, a skeletal saint fondly known as “the skinny one” (“La Flaquita”). The hummingbird charm vendors were lined up together in tiny stalls so stuffed with items that they hardly had space to move, each with different offerings: hummingbirds on a string for 40 pesos ($2), hummingbirds on a stick for 80 pesos ($4), hummingbirds bathed in honey and perfume for 290 pesos ($14), and mounted and pristinely preserved hummingbirds for 600 pesos ($30). All the vendors were men. Some refused to speak to me or let me take photos, aware of the risk that we both ran in documenting the hummingbird charm trade given that some of the hummingbirds were at risk of extinction. It was hard for me to accept that whether some species of hummingbird would live or die out was dependent on the need for love and the belief that it could be charmed.

As I stuck my head into the first vendor’s stall, I was confronted with a glass jar full of hummingbirds mounted on wire sticks, their wings frozen as if they were flying. Their feathers were the color of ash and only tinged green near where the heart used to beat 1,260 times per minute. Many were missing their needle-like beaks, which fall off when the hummingbirds dry out.

Their feathers were the color of ash and only tinged green near where the heart used to beat 1,260 times per minute.

The vendor, perhaps sensing that I would not tell him the name of someone who I wanted to love me, explained that a hummingbird can also bring peace to a family. I understand that he believed that I, a woman, surely had a family. He explained that if, for example, a mother wanted her family to get along, she could buy a hummingbird and take the following steps:

Sit the hummingbird on top of a red apple.

Place the apple on a plate with honey on a table when all the family is present.

The mother must rub the hummingbird in the scent of each member of the family before placing it back on the apple.

In this manner, he told me, a family could achieve peace. I didn’t tell him that I lacked a family, that at 38 — an age that everyone told me was already almost too late — I didn’t even know if I wanted one.

Women can want children — that is an acceptable ambition. But female ambition has certain parameters, and ambition that doesn’t include or prioritize ideas of taking care of others and mothering leaves us vulnerable to attack, to an evaluation of our selfishness.

“I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best,” Kahlo once said of her body of work, which includes 80 self-portraits out of 153 paintings. In my three years living in an apartment a few blocks from Frida Kahlo’s Blue House in Mexico City, I can’t tell you how many people have told me they are uninterested in Kahlo’s art because they find her self-portraits to be selfish, boring. A woman who is interested in herself, in her interior life, is still dangerous, a threat to our ideas about who and what is valuable and why. Kahlo may be popular, but people like to make the point that she is not liked, not truly respected. When Guy Trebay wrote about Kahlo’s work for the New York Times in 2015 in an article titled “Frida Kahlo Is Having a Moment,” he opened with this line: “She was a genius before she was a refrigerator magnet, an ace manipulator of society and media nearly a century before social media came into existence.” He admits her genius but immediately ties it to manipulation. Would a male artist ever be described in the same terms? I think we can all agree that Kahlo is having more than a moment.

Looking at handfuls of dried hummingbird charms — some of them species facing extinction — and hearing the men make their sales pitches to me, I thought of something my friend Susanna in Mexico City had said: Vivimos maternando a un montón de gente. (“We live our lives mothering everyone.”) She was neither a wife nor a mother but she and I both knew what was expected of us as women — that our instincts would be to care for others and to seek out love, often at the expense of our interior lives.

The last time I visited Kahlo’s Blue House, which is now a museum, the traveling collection of her clothes and personal items was there. Those items, in part due to a request by Diego Rivera, had remained locked away until 2004, and although I had visited the museum many times, I had never seen the collection. Looking at the steel body braces on display and her handmade embroidered boots, one with a heel much higher than the other to compensate for her shorter leg, reminded me of the extent to which she was trapped in her body. Kahlo had survived polio as a child and later, after a bus accident, broken bones, fractures, a crushed foot, and a pierced abdomen and uterus. Kahlo, so often betrayed by her physical self and defined by her infertility, found solace in her mind, in exploring iterations of her intellectual self. She used painting, fashion, and photography to control her own image, which apparently, to some, made her an “ace manipulator” rather than a woman trying to stretch the boundaries of patriarchal visions of womanhood.

Looking at the steel body braces on display and her handmade embroidered boots, one with a heel much higher than the other to compensate for her shorter leg, reminded me of the extent to which she was trapped in her body.

I didn’t tell the vendor what kind of a woman I was, that I didn’t have a dog or a cat, that the only plants I cared for were cactus, and I had killed some of them. I remembered a quote by Anthony Bourdain from a profile by Patrick Radden Keefe in The New Yorker, one that I had written in my notebook and that had stuck with me both because it reminded me of myself and seemed impossible that a woman could get away with saying something like that: “I’m not there. I’m not going to remember your birthday. I’m not going to be there for the important moments in your life. We are not going to reliably hang out, no matter how I feel about you. For fifteen years, more or less, I’ve been travelling two hundred days a year. I make very good friends a week at a time.” Bourdain was beloved for his obsession with work (which made his personal life messy and complicated) in a way that I don’t think a woman can yet achieve because for us, obsession gets defined as selfishness. In the profile, Keefe went on to describe Bourdain, writing, “Long before he was the kind of international celebrity who gets chased by fans through the airport in Singapore, Bourdain knew how to arrange his grasshopper limbs into a good pose, and from the beginning he had a talent for badassery.” Kahlo also knew how to arrange her broken limbs, and yet so far nobody has described that feat as badassery.

I was in a relationship for a decade, six of those years married, and when my husband left, he said, “You only care about your own projects.” And he was right about that — I do care deeply, obsessively about my own projects, about the curiosity that brings them to life, their creation, planning, and execution. For a year or two after the break-up of our marriage, I debated my worth and what kind of a woman I was, wondering if I should — or could — change. But for better or worse, at my core — the cells and ideas and emotions that give my life meaning — are related to my creative projects which make me feel like a fully engaged participant in the world.

In a letter to her mother, who she addressed as Mamacita Linda, Kahlo wrote, “Painting completed my life. I lost three children and a series of other things that would have fulfilled my horrible life. My painting took the place of all this. I think work is the best.” The constant in Frida’s life and her sense of purpose was rooted in her painting. Love in the form of men and women came and went. All the while, Kahlo continued reinventing herself through painting.

I was in a relationship for a decade, six of those years married, and when my husband left, he said, “You only care about your own projects.” And he was right about that — I do care deeply, obsessively about my own projects, about the curiosity that brings them to life, their creation, planning, and execution.

***

I wanted to know where the hummingbirds came from. “They usually bring them from Guerrero, but they are from various parts of the republic,” the vendor said, describing how in the old days, kids would kill them with slingshots for pocket money; kill a hummingbird, buy a coke. I imagined that the international black market hummingbird trade had produced more effective ways of killing hummingbirds, but he didn’t elaborate. He did, however, mention that the week prior a vendor sold a baby panda at the market. I found it hard to believe but tucked that information away for later, for another reporting project.

I asked for specifics about the hummingbirds, but he spoke in generalities: “The hummingbird in essence is for love. No matter the size or color: there are some that have a little green breast and there are others that have a little blue one, but it is all the same.” I didn’t like his saccharine, trite or generalized descriptions of love or the way such language was used to sell things. I didn’t like talking about love or talking about seeking it, because seeking love — which is so often tied up with seeking approval — has always been defined as women’s work.

Researchers don’t know the size of the black market hummingbird charm market. Nobody can measure the lack of love in the world and the things that it drives us to do. We are a bundle of wants and needs and insecurities, and in the search for meaning, if the illegal wildlife trade is any marker, we will consume anything to live longer, to be more virile, to attract what we have been told is love.

As I left, a vendor sat in a stall, a cardboard shoebox full of hummingbirds on his lap, one hummingbird mounted on a wire in each hand. These hummingbirds were larger than the rest, their feathers maintained spots of iridescent glory. I imagined Frida, decades ago, in the same market, looking for the hummingbird that she would paint at a time when her painting and her affairs with women and her broken body were not accepted, at a time when she wrote Diego a letter she never sent that said, “I don’t give a shit what the world thinks. I was born a bitch, I was born a painter, I was born fucked.” I understood her rage and feelings of rebellion, for although the world has made space for more diverse women, we are still expected to fill the role of the one who wants to be loved, who wants to be a mother when perhaps we only ever wanted to paint, wanted to write, wanted to explore the world alone, on our own terms.

***

Alice Driver is a freelance journalist and the author of More or Less Dead. She writes and produces radio for National Geographic, Time, CNN, Reveal from the Center for Investigative Reporting, Las Raras Podcast and Oxford American.

***

Fact checker: Julie Schwietert Collazo

Editor: Krista Stevens

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[thelandofmrsparkle]

A C T U A L     E N G L I S H     S L O G A N S    S E E N     O N     T - S H I R T S     W O R N    B Y     P E O P L E     I N     A N D     A R O U N D     T H E     M E T R O P O L I T A N    T O K Y O     A R E A

As witnessed and then compiled by Todd, commencing August 16, 2002. - - - -

Warning to non-Japanese and native English speakers: before laughing uproariously at the following list, please consider the multitude of t-shirts and other items sold in the west with kana printed on them (not to mention all the westerners with kana tattoos whose only knowledge of its meaning comes solely from what the tattooist told them it meant) and what said kana might actually mean in Japanese.

- - - -

"WE HAD A RORTY TIME" - seen on a 20-something Japanese woman on the Saikyo line, Ikebukruo station, August 16, 17:45.

"YOU'VE DONE EVERYTHING EVALUATE" - on a twenty-something chap in lovely downtown Urawa, August 28, 13:00.

"HYSTERIC 3 MINUTE COOKING" - on the back of a large pink t-shirt worn as a dress by a 4-year-old girl, also in lovely downtown Urawa, August 28, 16:30.

"GUNS FEVER" - on a black t-shirt worn by a slacker-type dude, Shibuya, August 30, 18:30.

"MARIJUANA KEEP ATTACKING IT ALL THE TIME" - on a clearly pro-pot baseball shirt adorned with rainbow pot leaves, worn by a mid-20's guy, Saikyo line, September 6, 18:10.

"DAD CHIMP SAID...ALL VERY BEST" - in brown "old west" font on the back of a white t-shirt worn by a woman in her late teens, with her friend, in a sticker-making arcade (that's something you just gotta be here to understand), Shibuya, September 14, 21:30.

"NEED $5 TO SEE THE MONSTER" - on a white sweatshirt worn by a guy with bleached hair in his early twenties, on the Saikyo line, September 22, 14:15. The word "MONSTER" was silkscreened backwards, as it would appear in a mirror.

"NO MORE IS GOOD" - on the front of a white hoodie, with another slogan on the back reading "REMEMBER WORLD'S RULES," worn by a 20-something woman on a mamachari, near Kita Yono station, September 29, 15:38.

"SEEK OUT TRAP" - black t-shirt, worn by 20-something guy, Yoyogi station, October 4, 19:45.

"BORN TO LOSE" - not funny in itself, except it was on a t-shirt worn by a 20-something guy going into Shinjuku's busiest off-track betting facility to place his bet on the ponies. Shinjuku, October 27, 13:45.

"THE BOMB WENT KABOON IT WAS REALLY LOUD" - on a black t-shirt in omiya station, 4pm sometime in September.

"BE IMPRESSED AND THEY GATHERED TOGETHER TO MIZPEH A PRAYER IS PUT" - on a black sweatshirt, on a 20-something hipster guy with bleached hair, K-T line, February 6, 2003, 18:00.

"AUTOMOBILE - EMOTION AND CONFIDENCE" - on an old guy's baseball hat, Musashino line, March 8, 2003, 16:30.

"MADE IN WORLD" - in huge block letter on the back of a cool kid's shirt, Omiya Muji, March 9, 2003, 15:00.

"LET'S TAKE A CHANCE AND DEVOTE ALL YOUR LIFE TO THE GAMBLING" - in pink capital letters, on the hood of a turquoise hoodie worn by a girl in her late teens, Yamanote line, March 21, 2003, 13:35.

"CAMOFLAGE IS ALSO NECESSARY FOR YOUR PROTECTION IN SPACE." - baseball shirt, guy in late 30's, Hibiya line, May 3, 2003, 16:45.

"LIFE AT YOUR OWN RISK - HAVE THE STAGE TO ONE SELF" - back of black hoodie, worn by punk kid on mamachari, near Saitama University, May 14, 2003, 12:20pm.

"CHOOP I FEEL AN URGE TO VISIT YOU, FLOWER CHILDREN" - on the back of a 10-year-old girl's t-shirt, Kawasaki station, May 25, 2003, 16:45.

"ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A BULL BOY" - sooo close to having it right! on the back of one of my basketball teammate's t-shirt, Kawasaki marina recreation centre, May 25, 2003, 18:30.

"JUDGING THE CASE" - the brown t-shirt of a hiphop kid, Ikebukuro station, May 26, 2003, 16:36.

"A BRIEF NOURISHES NEW DREAMS IT'S PEACE OF MIND CALLED COMFORT" - black longsleeve t-shirt worn by greying hipster, Saikyo line, July 16, 2003, 20:20.

"G-DEPT PREVENT: INGRESS" - Utsunomiya line, July 8, 2003, 18:50.

"Do you Thinks My Collture? - in hot pink type, Saikyo line, July 14, 2003, 19:46.

"GIRL WE HAVE NO READY MADE LOVE IN STOCK" - Indeed. Mom's turquoise t-shirt, Kawasaki station, July 19, 2003, 17:10.

"BREAK DOWN FAIRY MINX THAW EVEN" - girl's t-shirt in Akabane station, July 22, 2003, 16:00.    

"PREVAILING BOBSON ELASTIC TEMPERMENT BS" - 12-year-old boy's purple t-shirt, Saikyo line, August 6, 2003, 11:35.

"I LOVE THE PINK PANK FAWN" - Pink t-shirt on twentysomething woman, Omiya Loft, August 7, 2003, 18:54.

"WATCH OUT SEE WHAT YOU DO AND WHAT IT HAPPENS" -t-shirt of woman walking dog, Tokiwa, Urawa, August 20, 2003, 9:05.

"VELVET SNOOZER" - pink trucker hat, high-school girl, Saikyo line, August 22, 2003, 23:55.

"WELL, I'M GONNA DRON NOW" - t-shirt in Times Square mall, Shinjuku, August 29, 2003, 18:30.

"AFTER A STORM CONES THE CALM - SHE FELL ASLEEP AS SOON AS SHE GOT INTO BED" - back of grey tanktop, woman in late 20's carrying Burberry bag, Utsunomiya line, September 4, 2003, 16:05.

"TIMES CHANGE AND WE WITH THEN RN-43062" - red t-shirt, Shinjuku station, September 14, 2002, 21:55.

"PEACE AND DIGNITY ROAD TRIBUTE TO THE SELF-INDULGENCE BLUE HEART" - black long-sleeve t-shirt, Saikyo line, September 18, 2003, 16:40.

"JUVENILE DELINQUENCY NOHELL MOTORCYCLE" -black longsleeve t-shirt, Omiya station, October 4, 2003, 13:40.

"WE SUGGEST SNOB" - black long-sleeve t-shirt, Shibuya, October 10, 2003, 19:30.

"SUPER SONIC SLIMMY STAR NO FUTURE" -back of black button-down shirt, women in early 20's, Saikyo line, October 13, 2003, 13:50.

"7468-01 BEVERLY L. ANGELS IT'S A FOR YOUR HEALTH BOWL!" - back of cream-coloured hoodie, Tabata station McD's, October 14, 2003, 17:20.

"NUMBER WORTH PLENTYS MEAN" - back of a black hoodie, college student, Keihin-Tohoku line, October 21, 2003, 20:23.

"CHAOS BRINGER" - back of a cheap-looking fake-goretex outdoorsy/MEC-stylee jacket, Saikyo line, October 24, 2003, 17:40.

"SEEING YOU GIVES COURAGE PLENTY OF TIME TO MAKE OBSERVATIONS LEISURELY" - back of grey hoodie, 20-ish guy with a Nirvana "Nevermind" tote bag, Keihin-Tohoku line, October 25, 12:50.

"HER NAME IS SNOW WHITE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD? + BANANA FISH" - cool black hoodie, Keihin-Tohoku line, November 5, 2003, 17:50.

"I CONTINUE TO WALK ON THE WONDERFUL WORLD ROAD" - back of hoodie, Omiya station, November 16, 2003, 13:50.

"I'M MINT MINT BONJOUR" - back of a powder blue tracksuit jacket, Shinjuku Station, December 6, 2003, 12:48.

"THE QUEEN GRACED THE OCCASION WITH HER PRESENCE AN EVERYDAY OCCURENCE" - back of longsleeve t-shirt, Tabata McDonald's, January 6, 2004, 17:30.

"YELLOW CORN SLEDGEHAMMER HIGHWAY THE 3RD" - arm of yellow & black "freshie"-style outdoors shell/jacket, Tokaiko line, January 9, 2004, 18:10. Front and back of jacket read "HIGHWAY MAGICIAN."

"EARTHLY PARADISE BY THE STREAM INCEDE MILITALY INFULUENCE RIDER'S CLOTHING" I-embroidered in gold thread on the back of a middle-aged man's olive drab sport jacket, Tokyo station, February 15, 2004, 15:30.

"SEX POT REVENGE BY THE ROADSIDE REVENGE DECONTROL OF WAR NO FEBLE BASTARD" - "J-punk" black vinyl patch on back of hoodie worn by j-punk, Utsunomiya line, February 25, 2004, 20:30.

"Let's give The third Bet?" - bottom of back of hoodie, Atami, March 27, 2004, 13:30.

"WANT TO CHOOSE GOOD FRAME YOUR DREAM" - back of navy t-shirt, Saikyo line, April 24, 2004, 14:55.

"TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY IT IS ALWAYS THE SUN TO THE HEART" - it is indeed. White t-shirt, Ueno station, April 29, 2004, 15:10.

"BLUE NAIL WAVE" - man's black t-shirt, Musashi Urawa station, April 30, 2004, 20:05.

"TOO FAST TO LIVE, TOO YOUNG  TO DIE" - back of white t-shirt worn by three-year-old, Shibuya, May 1, 2004, 16:25.

"DREAMIN' OF JUICY" - Shibuya Zara store, May 1, 2004, 17:30.

"CLUB SASARI WINE STAR" - on a seven-year-old girl's t-shirt, Saikyo line, May 3, 2004, 12:30.

"I'M A BALLOON SELLER" - but she definitely was not. Woman's t-shirt, Tachikawa, May 29, 2004, 16:30.

"MONKEY CREATES NEW GENERATION" - they certainly do. Black t-shirt worn by pimply-faced teenager, Tachikawa, May 29, 2004, 16:35.

"BLACK GANG MAGIXSON" - on the back of a white "gansta"-wear stylee track jacket, in the Maruetsu, June 4, 2004, 13:05.

"GRASP THE NETTLE" - back of orange t-shirt, Kokubunji station, June 4, 2004, 22:40.

"G#O#D PRAYS TO GOD" - white t-shirt, Seibu line, June 5, 2004, 12:55.

"CAUTION SPACE TORNADO OGAWA" - back of black t-shirt, Family Mart, June 11, 2004, 08:10.

"NO OVER FLOW CUSTOMS GIRL" - woman's white t-shirt, Ageo Ito Yokado, June 13, 2004, 12:02.

"IF SPRING COMES MANY BUTTERFLIES WILL FLOCK IN MY GERDEN" -butt of woman's black t-shirt, Minami-Urawa station, June 20, 2004, 14:49.

"DON'T CONDEMN OUR JOBS" - lime-green t-shirt, Ekoda station, June 22, 2004, 19:12.

"HARRY HYS NO MUFF TO TUFF" - back of twenty-something woman's pink t-shirt, Ikebukuro station, June 22, 2004, 19:25.

"TEMPTATION DO YOU WANT TO BE A FINE MOOD?" - yes, please. Back of black t-shirt, Saitama Shintoshin, July 9, 2004, 12:30.

"MASTURBATE EMPHASIS BE-FASTIDUOUS" - front of baseball t-shirt worn by clearly oblivious mid-thirties guy, Akitsu, July 10, 2004, 13:00.

'"FEED THEM! THROW TRASH! YOU DESTROY DEER LIFE, DON'T YOU?" -back o red tshirt, Nishi Kokubunji station, July 11, 2004,11:40.

"they think we're satanic" - white t-shirt, near Tachikawa, July 25, 2004, 13:50.

"NINE OF YOUR NUMBER LUCKY!" - green t-shirt, Kita Yono, July 27, 2004, 12:35.

"DON'T HAVE A COW IF I'M GROOVY" - back of woman's t-shirt, Akitsu station, July 31, 2004, 14:15.

"the color has NEVER faded. the color has NEVER relation!" - back of white t-shirt, Shinjuku station, August 2, 2004, 14:45.

"SUN DOWNERS REAPERS" - in an exact reprodution of the L.A. Lakers' logo, on a 10-year-old's t-shirt, Saikyo line, August 6, 2004, 17:50.

"FRJ PINEAPPLE IS MY BUSINESS" - woman's navy t-shirt, Ueno station, August 7, 2004, 15:02.

"SPLASHES USUAL POP EVERYONE WANTS ITS REFRESHING" - back of woman's white tank top, Maruetsu, August 8, 2004, 16:50.

"HIGH WIDE AND HANDSOME" - woman's white t-shirt, Omiya station, August 10, 2004, 15:02.

"THE TIME IS RUNNING SO QUICKLY THEREFORE WE ARE WORRYING COMMUNICATION ABOUT LAKE OF" - back of white t-shirt, Urawa, August 12, 2004, 08:30.

"KEEP SURFING Beach Clean for your enjoy sufing HE IS NEW SURFER!" - white t-shirt, Seibu Shinjuku line, August 18, 2004, 12:32.

"HEY! SUCK MY BLOOD KNEE" - yellow t-shirt, Higashi Murayama station, August 28, 2004, 18:24.

"I LOVE GESTS" - white t-shirt, with the text superimposed on the afro of a silhouetted figure seen through a keyhole, Yono Honmachi post office, August 31, 2004, 13:40.

"CASH FOR SLANG" - back of green t-shirt, Ebisu Wendy's, September 11, 2004, 17:05.

"YES, FOR SUCCESSFUL LIVING" - black t-shirt, Omiya station, September 15, 2004, 17:01.

"COUNT THE NIGHT BY STARTS LIVE YOUR DREAM SMILE & HAPPY" - back of kids' t-shirt, Kita-Yono Book Depot, September 18, 2004, 17:00.

"THE NATURAL FLAVOR NEVER STOP SMOKING" - back of a white, long-sleeve t-shirt, done in imitation of The North Face logo, Cocoon shopping mall, September 20, 2004, 13:10.

"YOU GUYS ROCKS" - front of J-guy's pink t-shirt, Saitama Shintoshin, September 23, 2004, 17:15.

"HOLD ON LIKE GRIM DEATH" - in cheerful silver sparkly ink, on woman's black t-shirt, Shinjuku station, October 1, 2004, 15:45.

"WOMEN AND GUNS" - on J-guy's tshirt, accompanied with an illustration of a naked woman wrapped around a giant revolver, Shibuya station, October 1, 2004, 17:25.

"NO FUTURE DRINKING THE MORNING AWAY AFTERNOON WILL PROVE A MISTAKE" - well, if you drank the morning away, what do you expect? J-girl's t-shirt, Shibuya, October 1, 2004, 18:18.

"CONVERSATION LIE OF NONEXISTENT" - girl's white sweatshirt, Takanodai station, October 10, 2004, 12:15.

"CAN SHE WITH THE WyRLD?" - back of white sweatshirt, with a drawing of a green four-leaf clover beside it, Shinjuku station, October 16, 2004, 18:00.

"PLEASE LET ME KNOW, IF YOU CAN" - beige longsleeve tshirt, Omiya, October 21, 2004, 17:00.

"FANCY POCKET GIRLS" - back of girl's beige hoodie, Chuo line, October 24, 2004, 14:00.

"LEAD STORY PLANET We say "How do you do?" when we meet somebody. It's against nature." - black t-shirt, Kawagoe, November 7, 2004, 13:07.

"IMPRESSIONS IN MY MIND NOT TO BE MISSED" - mom's yellow t-shirt, Kawagoe, November 7, 2004, 13:40.

"LET'S FEEL THE NATURE POWERFUL ENGINE" - old man's grey baseball cap, Keihen-Tohoku line, November 13, 2004, 13:30.

"ADORABLE SISTERS GO WEST!" - on junior high school girl's black hoodie, Kawagoe Animate shop, November 14, 2004, 15:00.

"THAT'S LUCKY TO STILL BE WITH US" - back of a grey "gangsta"-style hoodie worn by J-mom, Urawa, September 19, 2004, 13:15.

"WE HOPE TO ALWAYS HAVE AN POEN MIND" - back of woman's t-shirt, Franz Ferdinand concert, Shibuya Ax, November 29, 2004, 18:30.

"THE RACOON DOG MUST BE EXHAUSTED! IT'S SO EASY TO TELL" - well, sure it is, with a *racoon dog*. Back of black t-shirt, Shinjuku station, December 4, 2004, 15:00.

"TOWN IN CANADA 99" - girl's black trucker hat, Shibuya, December 25, 2005, 14:05.

"GORDON & SMITH CONFIDENT THE WORLD" - and why wouldn't they? Back of teacher's navy hoodie, Yono Hachiman elementary school, January 17, 2005, 08:35.

"FREE JAH CURE" - J-hipster's white t-shirt in RUN DMC-style logo, Ueno, February 24, 2005, 16:15.

"strong will To tell the truth, he lied" - woman's tote, Kanda station, March 2, 2005, 15:33.

"WEST VIRGINIA 7 APPALACHIAN THIS MAP IS CORRECT" - back of kids' t-shirt, Chuo line, April 7, 2005, 16:40.

"SURF WITH GHOST" - ok! White t-shirt, Shibuya, June 7, 2005, 17:23.

"TAKE IT EASY WHO BREAK YOUR BACK? DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT" - back of turquoise t-shirt, Tachikawa station, July 3, 2005, 12:15.

[cyrkensianbuds]

*History Maker starts playing in the background*

Svanhvít “Hvít" Ozerov

General Information

Age: 40? (He’s ridiculously pretty though.)

Gender: Male

Race: Human

Birthday: January 4

Title: Swan King (Hvít says his title with a completely straight face and Gemma takes forever to stop laughing hysterically. Every. Single. Time.)

(She once managed to keep it up for 3 hours with periodic 2 minutes break in which they would sit in complete silence until Hvít did it again but with a different intonation.)

(At least it proves the theory that Gemma is mostly all air.)

Class: Troubadour

Secondary Class: Mercenary (He can’t swing a double-edged sword to save his life.)

Weapon: A gnarled staff that seems to be partially covered in diamond dust and old bloodstains. (You’re too afraid to ask, partially because the last poor cannon fodder sod who asked disappeared and also because you’re pretty sure you don’t want to know where he got it from.)

(Okay, that was a lie, but still our self-preservation outweighs your curiosity.)

(Most of the time.)

He also carries around a pair of strange blades with straps attached, but you’re not quite sure how they were used. (And whenever you or anyone else you managed to bribe into asking for you asked he would smile mysteriously and deflect like a champ.)

(He keeps on giving you these funny smiles and you know that he knows you’ve been asking around.)

Hair: Blonde

Eye: Blue (No, that was not a typo. You can never have too many rakish men with eye-patches.)

(Unfortunately, what hides under his eye-patch is just as unsettling as his personality.)

(Not terrifying or anything. Just unsettling.)

Personal Skill

Winter’s Grace

“This kid, has gone streaking out in weather so cold your breath doesn’t just condense, it freezes. And here you have this guy who strips down to his birthday suit and frolics out about in a blizzard! And do you know what the worst part is? He looks good while doing it. Even I can’t pull that off and I’m the epitome of perfection!”  - Definitely Aton at some point in his life

When on Snowy terrain, all allies including the Unit’s will  receive a +3 in Spd, Str, Luck, and Skill, as well as a +1 movement, +10 Avoid and Dodge. These numbers will grow by +1 every third round.

Otherwise, the increase remains at +1 for all aforementioned Stats except for movement throughout the entire battle.

[Yes, he does have a Dragon Vein ability. It kind of fits in with the Seiryu category with several notable Genbu exceptions.]

*Music smoothly segues into Let It Go piano intro*

Background

Born to an estranged daughter of an Ice Tribe couple, Hvít inherited his father’s magical powers.

His father was a powerful and infamous Sorcerer from the Northern Lands, further North of even the Ice Tribe Lands.

Or so said his mother, but then again she continued to insist that he was female for most of his young life so he didn’t lend her words much credence.

From the time that his mother arrived at the Ice Tribe, there have been weather anomalies around the area such as an increase in snowstorms, drastic drops in temperature, a lack of hunting game and longer, harsher winters.

Many of the non-magical community blamed Hvít’s mother and started heaping blame and abuse on her shoulders.

A few years after Hvít’s birth, his grandfather died of an illness and his grandmother died soon after from what appears to be a wild bear attack.

The villagers can no longer be quelled by the soothing of the Tribal Chief and verbal insults soon become more physical in nature as the non-magical community and even some of the Dark Mages, Sorcerers, and Witches start to panic.

He activated his powers when the villagers attempted to kill him and his mother around when he was ten.

He freezes all of the men hiding in the snow banks who are watching to see the deed done.

His mother still ends up drowning to death.

Frightened, he escapes out into the wilderness before the other villagers realize what has happened.

He meets Gemma there as he wanders farther South.

She takes him under her figurative wing.

Skip forward about 20 years later, Hvít is 40 and wandering the lands with his daughter as a Troubadour.

He joins Corrin’s army when he realizes Gemma has joined and brings his daughter along with him.

(Well that was unnecessarily dark and dramatic.)

Fun Tid-bits

- He acts very carefree and easygoing, but he is actually always low-key distressed. And when he gets distressed, he feels the need to burn off the extra energy by either dancing or fighting. But he still continues to act super blasé which only adds another layer of unease to your towering quadruple decker sandwich long list of things that kind of freak you out about him.

- He is very protective of Gemma and jokingly calls her his mother. He considers her more like a guardian, but he is just as devoted to making her happy as any other child she raised

- He is a very aggressive person; he’s aggressively friendly, aggressively caring, aggressively mothering- He’s just really aggressive in general. That’s in positive contexts. Dragons help you if you manage to piss him off.

- He is a fairly good older brother who will totally back you up in a fight if you need it, but is completely willing to let you get beat up so that you can learn from the experience and so that he can watch and laugh at you from the sidelines.

- He likes embroidering and knitting. He’s quite good at both, though his embroidery is leagues better than Gemma’s any given day of the week. Partially because he spends so much time practicing it.

Additional Info

*Northern Reaches is FE14 Fanon Code for Russia and all the other Nordic countries.

You could figure the Ice Tribe into their somewhere, but the primary reason I’m relating cultures and geography in the game to the real world is because I am too lazy to come up with completely different cultures that are the perfect mix of cultural characteristics that are influenced by history and local climate. :/

Note: I’m reading over this again and I just realized that not only is he a nod to the YOI-themed thoughts flying around my head, he is also a relic of other blue-themed people. Baseball obsessed assassin standing out in the snow: “The cold never bothered me anyways.”

I am literally so disappointed with how unoriginal I am.

(I mean, he hasn’t built himself a castle of isolation on top of a mountain peak or started wearing a pretty dress made of frost and magic in my headcanons of him, but I figure it’s only a matter of time.)

Quotes

“Hey, how’re you doing?” (On your Castle grounds while you’re walking around)

“Hey, at least you know you’re bound to win something good next time.” (After losing multiple times in a row at the Lottery while he is manning it.)

“Lovely weather we’re having today, wouldn’t you say so?” (When partnering up in Snowy Terrain)

“Hey, your shirt’s pretty nice. My daughter used to wear one of those when she was four.” (Avoid or Dodge successfully)

[ecoorganic]

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Alice Driver | Longreads | August 2020 | 9 minutes (2,482 words)

“We need to see the name of the person. We need to know who you want to attract,” the vendor told me as he held up a handful of dried hummingbirds, their four bodies dangling from his fingertips by red pieces of string, feathers worn but shimmering emerald in patches as if clinging to life via sheer radiance. He wanted to know the name of a man, but I was thinking of a painting.

Frida Kahlo wears a dead hummingbird around her neck. She painted Self-Portrait with Thorn Necklace and Hummingbird in 1940 just after she divorced Diego Rivera and ended an affair with photographer Nickolas Muray. The dead hummingbird is considered a love charm in Mexico, and it is one that would endure and eventually be exported to other countries.

“There is such a lack of love that everyone wants them, young and old,” the vendor told me, agreeing to let me record his answers only if I didn’t share his name, before recounting the steps I needed to take for the hummingbird charm to work:

Write the name of the person you want to love you on a piece of paper.

Put it in a red cloth bag with the hummingbird.

Bathe the hummingbird in the perfume or scent of the person you want to love you on the first day of each month.

Repeat with a new hummingbird for each person you want to fall in love with you.

It had not crossed my mind that anyone would buy more than one hummingbird. But, as a vendor named Sansón explained, “Men want many lovers.” Both Diego and Frida had many lovers, I thought.

The vendors, excited by my line of questioning, seem to think I will be interested in the idea of trapping many lovers with many hummingbirds. That, in fact, is my idea of hell. It reminds me of past boyfriends, who, upon realizing the scope and frequency of my work travel, voiced fears that I had a boyfriend in every city I worked in. It is all I can do to make one person happy and understand them down to the story of every scar. Even then, it will never be the focus of all my energy.

As the vendor told me this, I was standing in a narrow passageway in the Mercado Sonoroa in Mexico City. There, you can acquire all kinds of animals — legal (cages full of chicks dyed pink, purple, yellow, and green) and illegal (puma cubs). It is one of the more dangerous places I’ve worked as a reporter, because in the areas where black market animals are being bought and sold, taking out a camera or a recorder is going to attract unwanted attention. The last time I worked on a project around the market, I was told that a photographer wandering around without permission got beat up.

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Anyone working in Mexico knows that permission comes in many forms, from the jefe of the plaza or the market or the street corner, usually a man who is hard to find, one who has many helpers lounging around and saying things like, “The jefe doesn’t have a schedule, but I’ll tell him you stopped by.” The only way to really get in and do interviews is to go with someone local, so I contacted my friend Luisa who lives in the La Merced neighborhood near the market, and she contacted a vendor at the market who would accompany us and who knew one of the hummingbird sellers and got permission for us to interview him. I went to the market to do interviews for CBC, Canada’s national public radio station, for a piece they were producing about a National Geographic article on the illegal hummingbird charm trade.

To get to the black market hummingbird charms, I passed through the section of the market dedicated to Our Lady of Holy Death, a skeletal saint fondly known as “the skinny one” (“La Flaquita”). The hummingbird charm vendors were lined up together in tiny stalls so stuffed with items that they hardly had space to move, each with different offerings: hummingbirds on a string for 40 pesos ($2), hummingbirds on a stick for 80 pesos ($4), hummingbirds bathed in honey and perfume for 290 pesos ($14), and mounted and pristinely preserved hummingbirds for 600 pesos ($30). All the vendors were men. Some refused to speak to me or let me take photos, aware of the risk that we both ran in documenting the hummingbird charm trade given that some of the hummingbirds were at risk of extinction. It was hard for me to accept that whether some species of hummingbird would live or die out was dependent on the need for love and the belief that it could be charmed.

As I stuck my head into the first vendor’s stall, I was confronted with a glass jar full of hummingbirds mounted on wire sticks, their wings frozen as if they were flying. Their feathers were the color of ash and only tinged green near where the heart used to beat 1,260 times per minute. Many were missing their needle-like beaks, which fall off when the hummingbirds dry out.

Their feathers were the color of ash and only tinged green near where the heart used to beat 1,260 times per minute.

The vendor, perhaps sensing that I would not tell him the name of someone who I wanted to love me, explained that a hummingbird can also bring peace to a family. I understand that he believed that I, a woman, surely had a family. He explained that if, for example, a mother wanted her family to get along, she could buy a hummingbird and take the following steps:

Sit the hummingbird on top of a red apple.

Place the apple on a plate with honey on a table when all the family is present.

The mother must rub the hummingbird in the scent of each member of the family before placing it back on the apple.

In this manner, he told me, a family could achieve peace. I didn’t tell him that I lacked a family, that at 38 — an age that everyone told me was already almost too late — I didn’t even know if I wanted one.

Women can want children — that is an acceptable ambition. But female ambition has certain parameters, and ambition that doesn’t include or prioritize ideas of taking care of others and mothering leaves us vulnerable to attack, to an evaluation of our selfishness.

“I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best,” Kahlo once said of her body of work, which includes 80 self-portraits out of 153 paintings. In my three years living in an apartment a few blocks from Frida Kahlo’s Blue House in Mexico City, I can’t tell you how many people have told me they are uninterested in Kahlo’s art because they find her self-portraits to be selfish, boring. A woman who is interested in herself, in her interior life, is still dangerous, a threat to our ideas about who and what is valuable and why. Kahlo may be popular, but people like to make the point that she is not liked, not truly respected. When Guy Trebay wrote about Kahlo’s work for the New York Times in 2015 in an article titled “Frida Kahlo Is Having a Moment,” he opened with this line: “She was a genius before she was a refrigerator magnet, an ace manipulator of society and media nearly a century before social media came into existence.” He admits her genius but immediately ties it to manipulation. Would a male artist ever be described in the same terms? I think we can all agree that Kahlo is having more than a moment.

Looking at handfuls of dried hummingbird charms — some of them species facing extinction — and hearing the men make their sales pitches to me, I thought of something my friend Susanna in Mexico City had said: Vivimos maternando a un montón de gente. (“We live our lives mothering everyone.”) She was neither a wife nor a mother but she and I both knew what was expected of us as women — that our instincts would be to care for others and to seek out love, often at the expense of our interior lives.

The last time I visited Kahlo’s Blue House, which is now a museum, the traveling collection of her clothes and personal items was there. Those items, in part due to a request by Diego Rivera, had remained locked away until 2004, and although I had visited the museum many times, I had never seen the collection. Looking at the steel body braces on display and her handmade embroidered boots, one with a heel much higher than the other to compensate for her shorter leg, reminded me of the extent to which she was trapped in her body. Kahlo had survived polio as a child and later, after a bus accident, broken bones, fractures, a crushed foot, and a pierced abdomen and uterus. Kahlo, so often betrayed by her physical self and defined by her infertility, found solace in her mind, in exploring iterations of her intellectual self. She used painting, fashion, and photography to control her own image, which apparently, to some, made her an “ace manipulator” rather than a woman trying to stretch the boundaries of patriarchal visions of womanhood.

Looking at the steel body braces on display and her handmade embroidered boots, one with a heel much higher than the other to compensate for her shorter leg, reminded me of the extent to which she was trapped in her body.

I didn’t tell the vendor what kind of a woman I was, that I didn’t have a dog or a cat, that the only plants I cared for were cactus, and I had killed some of them. I remembered a quote by Anthony Bourdain from a profile by Patrick Radden Keefe in The New Yorker, one that I had written in my notebook and that had stuck with me both because it reminded me of myself and seemed impossible that a woman could get away with saying something like that: “I’m not there. I’m not going to remember your birthday. I’m not going to be there for the important moments in your life. We are not going to reliably hang out, no matter how I feel about you. For fifteen years, more or less, I’ve been travelling two hundred days a year. I make very good friends a week at a time.” Bourdain was beloved for his obsession with work (which made his personal life messy and complicated) in a way that I don’t think a woman can yet achieve because for us, obsession gets defined as selfishness. In the profile, Keefe went on to describe Bourdain, writing, “Long before he was the kind of international celebrity who gets chased by fans through the airport in Singapore, Bourdain knew how to arrange his grasshopper limbs into a good pose, and from the beginning he had a talent for badassery.” Kahlo also knew how to arrange her broken limbs, and yet so far nobody has described that feat as badassery.

I was in a relationship for a decade, six of those years married, and when my husband left, he said, “You only care about your own projects.” And he was right about that — I do care deeply, obsessively about my own projects, about the curiosity that brings them to life, their creation, planning, and execution. For a year or two after the break-up of our marriage, I debated my worth and what kind of a woman I was, wondering if I should — or could — change. But for better or worse, at my core — the cells and ideas and emotions that give my life meaning — are related to my creative projects which make me feel like a fully engaged participant in the world.

In a letter to her mother, who she addressed as Mamacita Linda, Kahlo wrote, “Painting completed my life. I lost three children and a series of other things that would have fulfilled my horrible life. My painting took the place of all this. I think work is the best.” The constant in Frida’s life and her sense of purpose was rooted in her painting. Love in the form of men and women came and went. All the while, Kahlo continued reinventing herself through painting.

I was in a relationship for a decade, six of those years married, and when my husband left, he said, “You only care about your own projects.” And he was right about that — I do care deeply, obsessively about my own projects, about the curiosity that brings them to life, their creation, planning, and execution.

***

I wanted to know where the hummingbirds came from. “They usually bring them from Guerrero, but they are from various parts of the republic,” the vendor said, describing how in the old days, kids would kill them with slingshots for pocket money; kill a hummingbird, buy a coke. I imagined that the international black market hummingbird trade had produced more effective ways of killing hummingbirds, but he didn’t elaborate. He did, however, mention that the week prior a vendor sold a baby panda at the market. I found it hard to believe but tucked that information away for later, for another reporting project.

I asked for specifics about the hummingbirds, but he spoke in generalities: “The hummingbird in essence is for love. No matter the size or color: there are some that have a little green breast and there are others that have a little blue one, but it is all the same.” I didn’t like his saccharine, trite or generalized descriptions of love or the way such language was used to sell things. I didn’t like talking about love or talking about seeking it, because seeking love — which is so often tied up with seeking approval — has always been defined as women’s work.

Researchers don’t know the size of the black market hummingbird charm market. Nobody can measure the lack of love in the world and the things that it drives us to do. We are a bundle of wants and needs and insecurities, and in the search for meaning, if the illegal wildlife trade is any marker, we will consume anything to live longer, to be more virile, to attract what we have been told is love.

As I left, a vendor sat in a stall, a cardboard shoebox full of hummingbirds on his lap, one hummingbird mounted on a wire in each hand. These hummingbirds were larger than the rest, their feathers maintained spots of iridescent glory. I imagined Frida, decades ago, in the same market, looking for the hummingbird that she would paint at a time when her painting and her affairs with women and her broken body were not accepted, at a time when she wrote Diego a letter she never sent that said, “I don’t give a shit what the world thinks. I was born a bitch, I was born a painter, I was born fucked.” I understood her rage and feelings of rebellion, for although the world has made space for more diverse women, we are still expected to fill the role of the one who wants to be loved, who wants to be a mother when perhaps we only ever wanted to paint, wanted to write, wanted to explore the world alone, on our own terms.

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Alice Driver is a freelance journalist and the author of More or Less Dead. She writes and produces radio for National Geographic, Time, CNN, Reveal from the Center for Investigative Reporting, Las Raras Podcast and Oxford American.

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Fact checker: Julie Schwietert Collazo

Editor: Krista Stevens

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