#this seems like an exaggeration but I've had it happen multiple times now

[toskarin]

you've gotta be careful posting anything talking about creative processes because you could very well summon a guy who clearly likes anime but also feels such deep shame about it that they write two unprompted paragraphs about how they're one of the good ones before clarifying that they agree with your ideas on how to render metal textures in different lights

[the-casbah-way]

very impossible to find the balance between "i want my friends to be able to talk to me about their problems and tell me when they're struggling" and "i am extremely emotionally fragile at the moment because i'm doing very badly and talking about very heavy topics especially with no warning is not something i feel capable of dealing with right now because i'm on the verge of a violent mental breakdown"

[nsyncat]

OK, so this is my first post EVER since I joined Tumblr like ten years ago. Always been a lurker, enjoying all of the wonderful things here, the gifs, fics, ships, art, all the knowledge and all the amazing heritage posts, but never posting and hardly reblogging, I don't know why, was always afraid I would make a mistake or reblogg incorrectly...

Anyway, the reason this is my first time posting is because THAT amazing moment that happened a week ago, and I've been losing my mind ever since, and unfortunately I have nobody to share this excitement with that will understand... So I had to get it out somehow, and here seems like the perfect place to do so.

I don't know if anybody will read this or pay it any attention, but never mind, I just have TO. GET. IT ALL. OUT!

So I've been a loyal fan of 9-1-1 this past six years, got hooked to these kind of first responders dramas, also Station 19 and then of course Lone Star. I fell in love with the writing, the drama and action, the characters of course, the emotional and moving stories, both of the regular cast and the people in the emergencies (am not afraid to admit that I cried more than a few times, especially when I was pregnant... woooh, that was a tough season for me).

Anyway, like everyone else, got invested in Buck's storyline and of course hopped on the Buddie train in season 2. And obviously there was something between them, and the fandom always clowned themselves that "in the next season SOMETHING is going to happen!" and I always wanted to believe it, and also fooled myself a few times but always was the cold harsh realist and realised it was not going to happen... But enjoyed the ride nonetheless, read amazing fics, saw wonderful fanart, read interesting breakdowns and analysis.

And then 704 happened and I'm not joking or exaggerating, my life changed!

Confirming that Buck is Bi was amazing! I'm ashamed to admit that I really thought it won't happen, EVER! So I still can't believe it actually happened (thank you soooo much ABC!) and like a lot of you, I've been on cloud nine this past week and can't wait for tomorrows episode (also not from the US), literally counting down the hours.

And look, I love Buddie, I really do, but I fell in love with TEVAN (my favourite one yet) 😍 and been OBSESSED with them this past week. Just from those few moments between them and what we barely know that is going to happen the next episode, I truly fell in love with them and really hope they make it as far as they can. I think its an amazing thing for Buck and also CANT. STOP. WATCHING THE KISS! The actors did an incredible job, especially Oliver, also with his spoken support of the storyline and his love for Buck. Such a KING! So this whole thing is huge.

And I have a one-year-old, my life is hectic with taking care of a little human being, a hubby who is also very busy, work, family and a million other things and this past year with a heavy heart I kinda neglected reading fics, and it was my main hobby, my escape, my one and constant thing in my LIFE since I was 12. I do read here and there, but not like I used to, reading hours and hours and into the night, multi chapters and long oneshots, in multiple fandoms, and now whenever I do get to read something once In a blue moon I'm not fully invested or enjoying it because either I'm tired or have something else more important to do. And unfortunately, eventually I noticed that I lost this fire, the passion in me and it left me sad and heartbroken...

And then something incredible happened. Ever since that earth-shattering kiss, the fire and passion came back! Holy shit! I've been reading and ENJOYING fics nonstop this whole week, I can't concentrate on work thinking about everything and reading in-between tasks, I use every single free minute I have to search new fics and scroll through the tags, I go to sleep late because I need to read just one more fic(!!!) even tough I have to wake up very early in the morning and I DON'T EVEN CARE. I'm thinking about it sooo much and imagining new scenarios in my head, and feeling giddy and happy, in a good mood a lot of the time, more optimistic, knowing I have a new and exciting place I can "escape" to, like I had in the past.

Its not that i'm not happy, I have an amazing son and a wonderful husband and I cherish every moment with them, but these are hard and difficult times and life can be hard and stressful and I'm a different kind of happy... So these past few days have been nourishment for my soul and my mood, it sounds so silly but its true! I'm feeling a bit like my old self and it's amazing.

And if someone did read this or did pay attention and got to this point, sorry for the long rant and thank you so much for the patience and understanding 🙏 I love you and wish you a wonderful weekend and happy Buck's-first-date-with-a-man day! 🥰

So I want to thank, from the bottom of my heart, ABC, Oliver, Lou and you crazy lot for resurrecting my old fangirl self 😌 I'm so grateful for all your posts, your takes, your similar enjoyment and of course your amazing fics you're writing and sharing 🩵

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for faking orgasms?

This might come as a shock given the title but I'm a man, and so is my boyfriend. However I'm much more sexually experienced than him, as in I'm his first sexual/romantic partner meanwhile I've had sex with at least 30 different guys before. I also generally have a more consistent libido, and I'm desensitized down there to a degree, AND I also often get stuck in my own head due to certain neuroses and ocd and whatnot -- all this to say, it's REALLY hard for me to reach a real climax with another person.

And my bf is aware of this. I've told him many times. I've also reassured him (truthfully!) that partially due to this, an orgasm is not the end-all-be-all of sex for me, and that I can absolutely enjoy myself without "finishing." And if he still feels bad, I will not only take a backrub or something essentially as a replacement for him making me finish, but I in fact often prefer it. I promise I've tried everything; this is not a communication issue.

But. Basically no matter what I say or do, he just doesn't believe me. Or he isn't capable of accepting it, idk. He's insistent that it makes him bad at sex and it means he couldn't please me if I don't come... all the while that he almost never actually takes initiative to do any dominant role? So tbqh he's not totally wrong about that self-assessment but it's still ridiculous bc he doesn't even know WHY? Anyway.

Telling him things that he could do to ever make it better doesn't really work either, because the moment I "criticize" him during sex, even if it's just telling him to move his legs into a different position, he often takes it incredibly personally and just stops wanting to have sex altogether bc he's suddenly not in the mood. And if it's after he's finished, he's basically conked out. He never has any energy by that point except to more or less demand that I come, as nowadays he counts my capacity to jerk off afterwards as something evident of his "ability to please me," I guess. By that point, I'm still just jerking off by myself while he plays on his phone or falls asleep next to me, which I hate and find a huge turn-off and have expressed multiple times that it's at least "weird" and "funny" to do so. But he keeps doing it.

Inb4 the most likely majority response to a lot of this: I'm aware that we're clearly not that sexually compatible. But leaving the relationship is not an option even if I wanted to. The routine of us having sex is, regardless of exactly how satisfying it is, essentially necessary to our mutual happiness.

Now that that's out of the way, here's the real meat: I've decided relatively recently to just... pretend to come. I can often get to a sort of mini-orgasm long before a real one is on the horizon and I just kind of exaggerate that. It really turns him on, and it gets rid of any of the tension that would otherwise be there once we're both done, and I'm able to either fall asleep or otherwise move on in peace.

Now obviously, this is lying, and I don't like having to lie, and also if he ever realizes that I fake them then he's gonna feel even worse than when I outright say I didn't come. But clearly it's also causing strife to be truthful, and it's also not that hard to fake it. Whatever I communicate to him is at best forgotten - and it most likely *is* genuine, innocent forgetfulness bc he has severe ADHD. I'd likely never know if it happened that he is straight up ignoring what I say. In any case it's to a level that it just seems like my only solution is to fake it.

Does he have a right to know if I haven't actually come? AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[saint-jussy]

I know I've been in your asks before but I need a lecture on the ship "Saintspierre". I don't know the historical context behind it and why they get villanized so much. I'm a newbie when it comes to history. Thank you! :)

Hello again! So Saintspierre is the ship between Robespierre & Saint-Just of the French Revolution, who are often depicted as queer-coded villains in adaptations of the Revolution to serve as a counterpart to the Straight and Manly ™️ Danton. This happens because reactionaries are eager to push the narrative of 1789 being "the Good Revolution" and 1792 as "the Bad Revolution." Danton represents the Good Revolutionary, who advocates for change but is against offending too many moderates, while Robespierre is the Bad Revolutionary who brought on the Reign of Terror. They make Danton out to be a tragic victim who heroically tried to stop the Terror (even though he had a major hand in starting it and was corrupt af) and Robespierre out to be a gay psychopath who killed him out of jealousy. You can see this in La Revolution Francais (1989), Danton (1983), the BBC documentary, and many other adaptations.

For example, LRF goes out of its way to depict Danton as a loving family man, with a frankly excessive number of scenes of him making out with his two wives, while ignoring how he was a creep who sexually harassed women and that his second wife was 16. His close ally Camille is also depicted as very loving with his wife Lucile. Meanwhile, Robespierre is never shown being affectionate toward any women. The only person he has multiple close interactions with, besides his childhood friend Camille, is Saint-Just, who struts into his attention in part 2 and ruthlessly replaces Camille at Robespierre's side. Literally, Saint-Just's only character traits in this movie are being pretty and zealously urging Robespierre to kill Camille specifically. They even made up a scene where Saint-Just sends thugs to beat Camille up while making Camille think it was Robespierre who did it, so he can cause an irrevocable break between them. They give him no backstory, no explanation for his motivations, and completely erase his military accomplishments. He's just an homme fatale who lures Robespierre to the dark side with his pretty hair. This is a common tactic in works that struggle to reconcile the fact that Robespierre was on record being a pacifist who opposed the death penalty, opposed the war, and fought for the rights of the poor, with the propaganda that he was a monster responsible for the Terror. They blame his fall on Saint-Just.

Another tactic they use to villainize Robespierre is exaggerating his vanity. There is ALWAYS a scene where Robespierre gets his wig pampered. I mean, yeah, he DID care a lot about his appearance and never stepped out of the house looking like shit...but Danton wore a wig too. 99% of Danton's historical portraits have him in a wig, yet these works have him conveniently ditching it in most scenes to rock his Messy & Manly Natural Hair, and you will NEVER catch them showing Danton caring for his wig. No, only fops like Robespierre do that...even though it was just the norm at the time for lawyers to wear wigs. They put shady emphasis on Robespierre following 18th century fashion norms that have now become feminized, like wigs, lace cuffs, and stockings, to further queer-code him.

THOUGH, it's true that even historically, Robespierre was seen as a strange man in many ways. There are many contemporary accounts that rail on him for repeating things, being socially awkward, being blunt and callous, hating physical contact, having no emotions, being incapable of love--when from a modern lens, it's clear to me that he was just autistic. Like omg, leave the man alone. But when people want to villainize someone, they latch onto the traits that make them seem odd, that stray from typical societal expectations. When it comes to Robespierre, his villainization thus becomes very gendered, homophobic, and ableist, because he was 36 and unmarried and didn't abuse his power to sexually harass women and cared about his appearance and had a large female following and was most likely autistic. Meanwhile, Saint-Just gets exaggerated as a breathtakingly handsome twink who wore an earring and has a fancy bathroom that Camille roasted him for. Like omg, how dare a man have running water in his bathroom and not look like shit in the 18th century!!

Personally, I ship Robespierre & Saint-Just as a form of rebellion against this villainization. If they were gay, so WHAT? It would be cute. Fuck the homophobes. They did have a very touching relationship with each other. They shared many similar ideas and complemented each other's personalities and Saint-Just chose to defend Robespierre to the end even though he could've easily saved himself on the basis of his military merits by staying out of the drama. The fact that he was prevented from finishing his last speech, in which he defended Robespierre, is one of the saddest things in the whole goddamn Revolution.

Is there historical basis for their relationship being explicitly romantic? Most of their correspondences have been burnt, so we don't have much, but I ship it regardless in a historical fiction, What If? kind of way. Robespierre and Eleonore aren't romantically confirmed either, but nobody bats an eye when mainstream media or even historians treat them as "canon." I think that is very heteronormative, so I am ride or die for Saintspierre as protest. Some historians have pointed out that we have no records of any warm interactions between them, but I think they understood each other in a way that didn't require pleasantries, and that's what makes them so compelling to me. There's Charlotte Robespierre's infamous casual revelation that Saint-Just was Maximilien's 2nd favorite revolutionary, just after his own brother and OVER Camille. Then the Duplay testimony that Saint-Just would go up to Robespierre's room without saying hi to anyone else. It's these little things!!

Anyway, I'm leaving out a lot of details about precisely what Robespierre & Saint-Just were and weren't responsible for in history, but just know that they were two of the only clean, honest political leaders of the time. Never took a bribe, never embezzled, meant everything they said, were genuinely committed to the ideals they spouted. It's incredibly unfair that they, along with the other leftist paragon Marat, ended up with the worst reputations.

[bread-squid-uwu]

THANK YOU @dizzybevvie LMAO 🩵🩵

So, just a DISCLAIMER that I'm talking about my rewrite with some splashes of canon influence but I'm mostly just ignoring canon Dante for this, anyway

The main songs I associate with Dante are:

I'm A Natural Blue.

Obviously because of the title being a reference to Awstens blue hair, and the associations of blue with negative types of emotions and such. In my head, Dante has naturally black hair but despises that - so he dyes EVERYTHING blue and hopes it's convincing enough. He wants to look as different from his brother as possible.

The lines about seeing that your idols aren't who you once assumed them to be, seeing the truth rather than seeing someone to admire.. everyone knows Dante really really admired and looked up to Gene, who was never the best person. I see this as Dante recognizing that, finally seeing that his big brother was actually cruel and even dangerous.

Dante going through that world shattering realization that the person he trusted the most, looked up to, and even based himself off of for so long.. was horrible. And, perhaps, going off of that - looking at how he had tried so hard to copy and be like Gene, perhaps he too had done horrible things.

The struggles of trying to break from these ideas, having seen the reality of everything happening. The struggles of trying to figure out who he is without trying to base himself on who he thinks of as cool or popular.

The frustrations of realizing he was so blind to it all for so long, the ways that idolizing and loving Gene must've looked to people who knew everything Gene had done.

I could go so much more in depth, line by line, but I'll stop here for now!! I love this song in this context.

We Need To Talk.

Clover. - a danvis fic written by me, based on this song.

It Follows.

Dante canonically has a lot of anxiety around actually getting into relationships, we see this multiple times. Obviously this was very different back in Phoenix Drop High, but we also know that Dante hasn't been in a relationship since he was in high school - said by Garroth.

"I think with my heart, and love with my head." Seems like a very fitting line for this fact.

"Kiss me like nobody would when I was fifteen." We know in high school he was never very genuine with his relationships and, I think as an adult he wants something real - something genuine, where they can actually care about each other. Instead of the "haha player😎" he was before.

Looking at S2? Well...

"I've spent some years rewinding, but I'm still just me." This line I feel like is about finding himself relapsing into those previous non-genuine behaviors from high school, finding himself repeating those mistakes. I'm not talking about the situation with Nicole and Jenna, he was never actually dating Nicole, he did not cheat on her. I'm talking about him going around and flirting with many different girls on the beach. Eventually, I think he'd pull himself from this and realize that he slipped backwards, and feel guilty over finding himself repeating the mistakes that defined a version of him he previously tried so hard to bury - which is going back to the ideas from "I'm a natural blue" - when I describe this as a relapse I'm not exaggerating. Knowing those behaviors stem from Gene? I think it warrants being called a relapse.

The rest of the lines, however, I do think are about Nicole.

With the context of him struggling with his past, his sense of self, the guilt, and of course.. Gene being around? I think the situation between Nicole and Jenna would get to him on a much deeper level.

"If I could find my something to burn out these feelings, I'd cut them out completely and I'd stop this reeling. I think with my heart, and love with my head. Do you see the problem here? You rip me to shreds. I think with my heart, you fuck with my head." I see about him feeling like he's never truly changed from high school. With Nicole making the claims that he was cheating, etcetera, it gets into his head.

Really looking at the situation, he was already struggling with himself - and he was already struggling with Nicole as well. Knowing his apprehension towards relationships, his anxiety towards Nicole, and the fact that the two were never official on top of him desperately wanting to end the flirting and such with her? Well, "So tear into my heart, and love with my head. Do you see the problem here? You rip me to shreds. I've fallen apart, I'm missing your breath. Can we stand to break the fingers pointing the blame, Or will they always follow me?"

Stupid For You.

Danvis.

"I'm color-coding my moods, you're yellow, I'm natural blue

Let's get together and be green like my insides

At least I'll match your eyes, jealous and hypnotized

Let's match our faces and be equally in love. "

I don't think I need to say anything else lmao

THANK YOU BEV FOR THE EXCUSE TO POST THIS,,,

i'm always open to waterparks dante questions so uhm, feel free to ask for more or ask about this or something!!!!

[spamtoon]

DCRC week 3 time! ...In week 4.

you see. every time i wanted to open this comic. i wanted to do something else actually sosososososo bad. however now's the time

my history with the comics is ZILCH. i've had my friend show me a few duck comics they had in their first language and i've read some of the darkwing stuff but i haven't dived head first into scrooge's origins the way that many other duckblr members have

please note i might be off because i am very tired as of writing this. i will pass out directly after i finish this and so my judgements might be a bit. Strange

First comment I'd like to make her is how professional the comic seems, though that may just be because i'm viewing this though the don rosa archive on the definitely legal website. i'm glad at the very least that all of these like. little comics that are hard to keep track of are in one place

second off i just want to shoutout how tiny louie is here. ity bity. the 87 triplets are so small. sorry this is how it is with me i'm like wow... i appreciate these comics and all of the work people put into them and then im like oh louie little

Oh my aching eyebulbs! I did in fact misread that as lightbulbs

great panel we've got going on here. og glomgold acting quite fruity while donald needs to catch the thing... Glomgold you do understand you are also claiming other people's fortunes given the work for you in the south african diamond mines... a detail that i've only ever heard in trivia until now.

donald is so just continuously done with their garbage and he deserves to be i think. for all he's been through

sorry i just like the exaggerated poses here and the sillouettes and line effects. showcasing the them

Oh deliver us!

sorry i just love the expressions (and posing in the third) here. i know i'm mainly admiring comic panels so far but dang it. they...

aaaaand this is where the stuff that. didnt quite age starts. i've heard from chatter on discord that Things Happen in this comic and that scrooge should be wanted in Peru because of it. they way that some of the descendants are just casually helping him gnngnsn. i understand it was the 80s...

glomgold ate in this outfit and i'm sure you all agree. assuming this is glomgold i havent read that yet but look at him. that's glomgold. his goofy ahh smirk

FOEIJFIOUSGJEIAFEAFOJIUEAAEJOFEADAEFJIEA well. i did forget that glomgold held scrooge at gunpoint. and he does! i'm so . the way he's just. being held at gunpoint and scrooge's reaction is like THIS IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE i'm so. not even a gun can stop scrooge mcduck. or the triplets for that mater they also are kinda unphased at this point

another case where i just want to note these panels for the pose and expression contrast between the two of them... they

FEAHUIAOEJFEA the cogging way that the sound effects STREEEEETCH across the winds. priceless i think

i also want to note the action panels in the plane crash section i'm so. this one in particular but all of them really

Okay so i guess they were just. stuck with glomgold for multiple days. and scrooge is like where the barp is everyone ohhhh curse me cog darn kilts sorry

also omg calisota mention. calisota girls we're unforgesorry

glomgold's little happy handstand... you deserve to dark.wing cartwheel actually i think. also caro thinking about quack.erjack

parrot mention (context. im normal about that phone guy)

also please know before it registered that was a shine effect i thought the zebra's tail was a Bomb for a second and that the twist was going to be it all explodes in glomgold's face. but alas

HUIDAEJIOJFAEIJF THE WAY SCROOGE IS JUST. CASUAL ABOUT IT like dammmm you guys were slow. the fact scrooge has just had a little setup out here i'm so. yeah let's prank glomgold

im so mad... its beautiful. ive heard comics scrooge vs dt.17 scrooge described as business scrooge vs family scrooge and if this isn't way to differentiate between the two of them. the adventure's over because Business glomgold.

sorry every serious comic person that may or may not be reading this because i am. not very serious especially right now but please know i have so much respect for these and cant wait to read more. except i have to do an assignment first. two assignments. four. school is kicking my behind right now thats part of why i'm late but i will catch up eventually. now time to go to sleep

OH WAIT THERES MORE COMIC hold on wait what if you see this while i'm editing no you don't. i can't believe i actually got juked by the fake ending. i will admit i have been coasting along for a bit now but Now i am invested

the way he spends multiple panels gloating about the gems specifically... both of them are so petty here and its beautiful

rooooolling giiiiirl sorry my legitimate first thoughts. i am having an era right now. yes glomgold chase your big gem frisbee

the way that they're dragging both of them out and away from each other. like alright folks. time to break it up here. you're gonna destroy the temple. and they do!

GLEEP!

okay now its the end. this comic has made me a fan of comic glomgold and thats what i'm going to say here. good night everyone i hope this is a great start to my beautiful comic journey

[thr4shit]

Venting under cut because I feel bad at the moment.

(Understatement of the fucking century right there, bitch.)

I'm tired.

I'm lonely.

I feel like shit.

I want to talk to people.

But at the same time don't want to deal with conversations.

Being in a state of contradictory existence fucking sucks.

My mental health has been absolute bullshit for the past like... almost two full weeks.

(I've had like 7 or so breakdowns/episodes in the course of 8 days, with some days having MULTIPLE. I got VIOLENT in some of them. I BRUISED MYSELF because I started slamming my fist into my forearm because I felt like I was bullshit and deserved to feel pain. It barely fucking hurt, and I was hitting full force... I was LAUGHING, CRYING, SMILING, and SCREAMING all at once as I did that. I was ecstatic, and sad, and happy and enraged all at fucking once on rapid fucking shuffle with no breaks or warnings. In another case I had in depth plans to TRACK DOWN AND HURT people who were annoying me. They've been so much worse than they've ever been and it's just EPISODE after EPISODE and I don't get a fucking break and I'm so fucking tired afterwards. I hate it. I fucking hate it. I feel disgusting. I feel like I'm becoming a monster and I don't know how to stop it. I NORMALLY ONLY HAVE AT MOST 5 OR SO MAJOR EPISODES LIKE THIS A YEAR. AND INSTEAD NOW I'M JUST HAVING THEM OVER AND OVER AND OVER, AND OVER TINY BULLSHIT THAT I SHOULDN'T BE??? Like- YEAH, sometimes I'd get into one WITHOUT provocation, but those are RARER. They shouldn't be happening SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK???)

No one in my irl life seems to give a shit about trying to help me feel better.

(No one is an exaggeration, but VERY, VERY FEW)

Instead they do shit that makes me feel worse.

But I can't fucking say that because they're "good people" most of the fucking time.

They're just not helpful right now.

And it's not like I could be 100% open to them either!

I'd fucking scare them off!

I'd be alone ALL OVER AGAIN for the SAME REASON AS LAST TIME.

THE SIMPLE REASON OF "my mental health got bad again and I SCARE them now"

I CAN'T FUCKING EXPLAIN HOW MANY TIMES I'VE LOST EVERYONE BECAUSE OF THAT!

IT'S BULLSHIT.

But I also don't blame them??? I'd be scared of me too at times.

Jesus christ, I mean I fucking am. I'm always scared that I'm gonna go too far one time.

I can't handle people.

I can't handle friendships.

Maybe at this point I shouldn't have them.

I don't know how to properly reach out to professionals.

I don't want to because I don't want things to be more "wrong" with me than they already fucking are.

I don't want to reach out because then I'll be alone again.

But if I don't reach out I could end up alone again.

No matter what there's no good outcome.

This place is my only escape from it but now it's falling silent too.

I'm being drowned in silence again.

I'm getting to that point again where not even my fixes can give me joy and I don't see the point in TRYING to enjoy anything.

But, y'know. I'm not fucking depressed so I should be fine, right???

That whole "this too shall pass" bullshit???

Fun fact, it NEVER passes for me.

It's just always waiting to COME BACK.

I'm a fucking monster. And they're right.

They're all fucking right.

And I fucking hate it.

Nothing I have been diagnosed with explains this.

People always blame it on my executive dysfunction.

Even I did.

But at this point I'm not fucking sure.

At this point I'm starting to think I'm just a bad person.

At this point I'm willing to believe I'm the monster they think I am.

But oh fucking well. I have a new blog theme. So... yay...!

[poisonandpages]

Part of my childcare course includes practical experience working in a local early years centre, so that started this week. Highlights so far;

One child asked me about 5 minutes in "what are those broken thing in your eyes?" Took me a minute to realise he probably meant light reflections and not like. Dreams.

On my first day a child gifted me a very small rock he found in the garden.

I've been given post-it notes with scribbles on that I was informed are "bus tickets."

I taught one child the phrase "silly goose". She refused to call me anything else for the rest of the day.

I heard the phrase "skibidi toilet" in the wild for the first time ever when a child said he was going to make one out of legos. I hated it.

I tried to help this same child process the idea of "If you insist on trying to climb into the lego bucket you're going to get legos in your boots." After the third time it happened he was still acting surprised.

I tried to guard a child who was having nap time in the quiet corner as some of the noisier kids wanted to play nearby. When I made the "shh" gesture at them with my finger over my lips, they repeated the gesture to each other and walked away with big, slow, deliberate steps in a way I can only described as "Scooby Doo walking." I then struggled not to wake the sleeping child by laughing my ass off.

I said "whoops" when one child fell over and now he says "whoops!" whenever anyone falls.

Multiple children seem to have become very attached to me and have said "I'll only do (x thing they're being asked to do by a practitioner) if you sit with me." One refused to get his nosebleed attended to without me.

I asked a child "What comes after three?" and he responded with "Lots." For a moment I just sort of knelt there holding four fingers up thinking "Well technically you're not wrong."

Two separate children on two separate occasions said "I love you" apropos of nothing.

A very quiet girl who has not liked me much so far because I keep asking her to not hit people when she's upset came up to me for a cuddle before pick-up time on Thursday.

The children were acting out stories and one child volunteered to act every single time. After every performance she would take the most exaggerated bow I've ever seen.

I managed to get a child who clearly has a developmental condition to go from screaming and throwing things to using sentences and moving very gently within a few days.

I have received a LOT of praise for how I've "handled" the children with additional support needs, which feels very weird because to my mind I'm just doing the bare minimum of talking to them instead of shouting at them.

I had my doubts before starting and I have since been hit by children running full pelt into my legs, had play-dough put in my hair and ears, been screamed at, and been open-mouth coughed on a whole bunch, but this week has cemented it for me; I love working with kids. This is where I'm meant to be.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey! Opinion anon here

So... a lot has happened... idek how I feel about it.

(this may be a bit too long so prepare urself)

Basically, I got sent to a boarding school in april. It wasn't anything bad or "camp like", it was a general boarding school with no hidden intentions or anything.

But the people there were such cunts (not in a good way) that I literally cried MULTIPLE TIMES for people the literal embodiment of a trash bag istg.

Anyway, there was a 2 month break and another 4 months of hostel after that u til I returned in the end of October and it's legit been the worst experiance of my life.

In my 1st month, I had a group with 3 other girls. And we also talked to the other newcomers - which also enrolled in the school this year.

But there were only 14 newcomers, and the rest 28 were the people who has joined the previous or the years before. And at first they seemed sweet and then turned out to be lying backstabbing cunts. Only a few of them are nice tbh.

Basically, the whole population was divided into groups. There were 2 groups before, and 2 groups of newcomers. My group (6 people) and the other one. (My group had us 4 and 2 more people that were a duo)

ANYWAY, in april we 4 were really close, but after we came back from holiday, I realised that one of my friends was distancing herself from the group and instead hanging out more with the duo. And my other two friends ignored her so much that she eventually left the group all together.

So the group of 4 became a trio, and you know what happens to them eventually. Unfortunately, I was the one they decided to exclude. And they had these little inside jokes and didn't tell me ANYTHING. one of them turned so rude to me that she didn't even talk to me or look in my direction.

Eventually, something Huge™ happened with one of them (the rude one) and I'm not even exaggerating when I say that - even though I was a part of their supposed little trio - I WAS THE LAST ONE TO FIND OUT. This was obviously so hurtful that I finally started considering the possibility that they don't want to be my friend anymore.

I usually need to confront people about these, so I tried to talk to her about why she was doing this and ignoring me, and she legit said that she didn't want to be my friend anymore. Which was fine tbh, I just wanted closure, but when I asked her why, she got super irritated and legit said to one of my other friends to tell me to "stop being so irritating".

In the end, she told me that she would talk "normally" to me (whatever that means) but I still want to know the reason.

And ik that people have their reasons for leaving and they don't have to explain it, but the fact that she just did it so out of the blue, and the fact that we still have a very close mutual friend just leaves me confused??

Just...idek what I'm asking. Advice? Consolation? Whatever you've got in the store ig.

P.S. I left my trio (read: was exiled from) and - since I was still close with the other girl who left before i did - I joined hers. But they still exclude me out, though not as much. Ig it's expected given that I joined a little late, but it's still a major upgrade from my previous one (vomit)

as always thanks aa always cas <33

P.P.S I finally finished reading clandestine and legit felt so sad that I wasn't there when it was officially completed I was rotting in my terrible situation. I am so happy though it's amazing.

Hi! <3

I think you absolutely have a right to feel confused and hurt by how you've been treated. If I was in your position, I'd want an explanation too! You're right, though, you can't force an explanation out of someone, no matter how much you want one. It sucks because it makes you feel like you don't have closure, and I've definitely been there before, I know how jarring it is and how much it makes you question yourself.

My advices it to focus on what you can control. You can't make this person give you an explanation. You CAN focus on the friends you have now, and not waste your time worrying about some jerk who clearly doesn't care about you. I know it's easier said than done but try not to give her the satisfaction, you know?

[mysteriesofmilo]

Grand Unified Theory of Dwampyverse Time Travel

OK, so that's a bit of an exaggeration. But I have figured out a few of the rules of time travel that seem to be consistent across this universe. (NOTE: I STILL have yet to watch Hamster and Gretel, so some of these rules may be broken there.)

Multiple timelines? Yes, they can exist.

Alternate selves from different timelines? Yes, they can exist too.

Alternate selves from the same timeline, at the same time and place? Yup.

After someone points out that a timeline should not exist? Nope. Everybody from that timeline immediately begins to pop out of existence one by one.

Time loops? Yes. Peaches, letters, phone calls, days, and even entire lives can be time loops.

Erasure from existence? Yup, that happens too. Although it's not necessarily permanent ;)

Existing outside the time loops? If you are a time traveler or otherwise protected from time waves, yes.

And two special cases that I've talked about before, but they bear repeating here:

The Time Traveler Bermuda Triangle. One famous (former) resident of Danville in 1875 was Xavier Onassis. Onassis was likely originally an employee of the B.O.T.T. (as were all the other residents there), but after getting stuck in 1875, he somehow managed to either fix up his time machine or create a new one. He used it in the spot where it currently sits in what is now the Danville Museum. He knew what corn dogs were when he talked to Future!Candace because corn dogs were invented somewhere around the 1920s-30s, long before he was born. Why he would stick around just for corn dogs is beyond me though.

Side note #1: I believe the reason why so many time travelers decided to stay in 1875 is because Mr. Block wasn't exactly the nicest boss ever.

Side note #2: If Danville was populated entirely by Sheriff Murphy and time travelers in 1875, that means everyone whose family lived there for the last few generations can quite literally trace their roots Back to the Future. This means that, by inventing time travel, Doofenshmirtz inadvertently created the entire city of Danville.

Now, I mentioned earlier that "lives can be time loops." This refers to a theory by the legendary Jonathan from Phineas Flynn's Law / The 2nd Dimension on YouTube. Basically, this theory states that Professor Timenshmirtz's entire life is a time loop. This explains how both of his parents failed to show up for his birth: because he was never born. He just showed up in the hospital one day as a baby and was picked up by the doctor. How did he get there? He would have had to have time traveled, that's for sure, but he also would have had to have been hit with his old Babe-inator. Why would he do this? Probably because of an accident, because no way would he do it on purpose!

That's all I could think of right now. But I'll make sure to update this post if and when I think of more!

[askmerriauthor]

I'm still trying to puzzle out the timeline implications of ToTK, but I rather like what the story does for the overall LOZ timeline as a concept. Spoiler talk, so more after the break.

I've always liked the approach BoTW took where it basically gathered up all the games in one big bundle and said "maybe these happened, maybe they didn't, but it was like 10,000 years ago and it doesn't matter anymore". Literally making the previous Legend of Zelda games into legends in-universe. There's combined traces of all the games, be they direct references or sidelong allusions that make it seem like that element might've been lost in translation, or the version we originally saw was incorrect in the first place.

So far ToTK does seem to anchor certain concepts in stone, however, but others are very much brought into question.

Skyward Sword is Core Canon While the actual events of Skyward Sword in terms of its overall presentation are up to debate, there are facets of it that seem to be hard-baked into the game's lore now. Namely Fi and the divine origins of both Zelda as the incarnation of Hylia as well as the Master Sword. ToTK actively refers to the Master Sword as "she" and the sword makes Fi's prompting noise a number of times, so it's safe to say Fi's still in there after all this time.

The actual state of things with Demise, however, seems a bit less clear now. Skyward Sword told us a tale of how Demise - an original ancient evil demon from before the dawn of time - cursed Link and Zelda's bloodlines to always be in conflict with his reincarnations. The evil pollutant effect Demise had on the world, Malice, was overtly present and utilized in BoTW by Calamity Ganon. It was what brought on the end of Hylian civilization a century before the events of the game. But the overt parallels between Demise and ToTK Ganondorf raise the question of whether there ever was a Demise in the first place? Or was Demise an exaggeration of Ganondorf's ascension into the Demon King via the Secret Stone? Or is Ganondorf's nature as the Demon King directly the result of Demise and his curse?

There's also a mix up with Calamity Ganon to consider. Previously, I was under the impression that Calamity Ganon was the same OoT Ganondorf who'd eventually degraded over time and multiple revivals, turning into the mindless force of destruction we saw in BoTW. But ToTK makes it clear Ganondorf was perfectly fine, albeit dehydrated and locked beneath Hyrule Castle. Malice and Gloom are pretty obviously the same thing, and Gloom was freely seeping across the land even before the Upheaval occurred, so it's not like Ganondorf was fully contained even in his sealed state. While running around ToTK Hyrule, we often encounter Gloom Hands and a Phantom Ganon doppelganger. That gives me the impression that Calamity Ganon was just a similar phenomenon: as the time neared where the seal would break entirely, Ganondorf was able to exude enough force to manifest it and attack Hyrule on instinct. But any notions of Calamity Ganon being an individual itself made by the Hylians were misattributed.

Did OoT Actually Happen? Something very confusing/interesting in the flashbacks of ToTK is that it basically retells the events of OoT in a different frame. Ganondorf, the ruler of the Gerudo, deceiving the King of Hyrule by pretending to swear allegiance while in pursuit of an ancient, divine relic the Royal Family and the Sages hold safe. Called out by the young Princess Zelda. But Ganondorf succeeds in his efforts and Hyrule is thrown into an age of turmoil where monsters roam the world, only to be ultimately defeated by the efforts of the Sages and a foretold Hero in the distant future.

The events of Rauru sealing away Ganondorf were explicitly stated as The Imprisoning War, which was previously established as happening after OoT in an alternate timeline scenario where Link failed to stop Ganondorf. Given that Link didn't exist at all prior to Ganondorf's arrival and ascension into the Demon King, it feels to me as if ToTK is shifting OoT - and thus Majora's Mask - fully into legend. It also raises the question of whether there was ever a split Triforce, or if that too was just a misinterpretation of past events. The Triforce didn't feature in any way whatsoever within ToTK; it's not even mentioned or seen once. Ganondorf coveted and gained power through a completely different relic. In BoTW, Zelda seemed to innately have the complete Triforce by way of birth, passed down through her divine bloodline. Presumably Zelda still has it, or the Triforce itself is simply a symbolic manifestation of her divine powers outright rather than a physical relic that can be taken.

Who are Din, Nayru, Farore, and the Other Divines? So ToTK introduces the concept of "draconification" where devouring a Secret Stone turns a person into an immortal serpent dragon. We see this in practice in the game, and in BoTW we're introduced to a trio of such dragons who have names similar to those of the Three Goddesses. Mineru is very much aware of the process and what its consequences are, so that indicates that draconification was performed prior to her arrival in Hyrule. Is this meant to indicate that these three were once Zonai who turned into Dragons? Were they ever Goddesses to begin with, or was that also a legend that grew over time?

What does this make of the "other gods" in the setting, such as the Bargainer Statues or the Horned Statue? The Horned Statue is pretty up front about it being a Demon who was punished by Hylia for its acts, but the Bargainer Statues seem to be different. They're also all found nearby Hylia Statues and express a neutral view of good and evil, while supplying items that both embody and defy evil outright. They're also the source of the Dark Link outfit, which makes me wonder if they're intended to represent a sort of mirror/shadow aspect to Hylia. Not evil that opposes her (that's what Demise, Ganon, and the Primal Demons are for), but just a natural off-shoot. Hylia creates life while the Bargainer Statues manage death.

Soul-ar Powered Technology I can't be the only one who thinks Sheikah Tech was basically powered by the spirits of the dead after everything we've learned in ToTK, right? With the return of Poes (which were totally absent in BoTW), the blue flame furnaces that connect underground into what we now know as the Depths and the ancient Zonai refineries, Mineru's spirit being able to house itself inside the Purah Pad, and the obvious correlation between Zonai and Sheikah technologies?

[thesilverlady]

Hi! So I've been thinking about this for some time now, it seems to me like GRRM often exagerates the misogyny women suffered in medieval times.

It's not that women were happy and living in utopia but from reading about different historical societies and time periods in comparison to what he is writing it looks super exaggerated and women often suffer a lot more than what it would be like in comparison to real life.

Maybe it's just me and I don't want to sound mean..but it's starting to feel weird...for example there's a lot of women that have died from the birthing bed, a big number and although it happened it wasn't like every hour a woman died giving birth to a child. Another thing that bothers me it's when really young characters start having sex (Aemma, Daenerys, Viserys II....) It's super bizarre since yes of course women tended to be younger but and I'm pretty sure that no one was advising to have sex with a 13 year old child (there are cases I'm sure but normally it was frowned upon). Even politically women are more restrained ... I don't know maybe I'm seeing gohsts where there are none 😂.

it's definitely a valid subject to criticize and it's been something I've been conflicted over myself.

grrm is generally a. fantastic author; he knows how to write characters, worldbuilding, dialogue and how to play with themes.

With that being said, I can totally understand your feelings on the subject.

On the one hand, you're right, the whole "died in childbirth" is. just a very convenient, easy way to get rid off a female character while adding a tragedy to the mix. On the other hand.... some of these characters were simply not meant to be around.

I think he has definitely tried to add some elements around childbirth death to make it slightly different each time. Like, in f&b the difference between Alyssa Velaryon and Daella Targaryen who both died in childbirth is that Alyssa was at a quite old age and had complications from her pregnancy and her husband and maesters completely disregarded her health and basically sacrificed her to get that child out (for context: her dead was basically what Aemma had in the show. they copied it from that part of the story) In her tragic death, we see how shitty her husband was and the power maesters have over life. We do get her other daughter, Rhaena, rightfully calling out Rogar Baratheon's callous actions.

With Daella her death., while similar is a bit different because her issue was that she was waaay too young. Her mother, Alysanne felt guilty after her death and even wondered if it would have been so much for Daella to stay a child a while longer before pushing her to marry.

Both fall.victims to the patriarchy that is established in Westeros, in the belief that a woman's duty is to be a wife and a mother and a childbirth death while sad is noble. I won't analyze each childbirth death we see 'cause that would take forever - but I do think they all kinda serve a theme that has been existing all throughout the asoiaf series.

As for the age.... listen, i know it's uncomfortable for everyone but I think that's purposely done. Later in the series dany does think. of her old 13 yo self as a child so George doesn't pretend that she wasn't.

Were her descriptions in the first book oversexualized? Sure

But as for the age factor, I study history and cultures at uni and you'd be surprised at the age range young girls were thought to be suited for marriage and childbirth. You gotta consider multiple ethinicies, cultures, social norms, and not to mention life expectancy which played a huge factor in this.

George takes inspiration for all of this. The series is not meant to be a realistic portrayal.

And while I constantly think about the pro and cons about the way George writes his female characters, i don't see enough prase nowadays about how he writes the vulnerability of girlhood, or motherly love, or the caging feeling of being a woman who lives in such a restraining society.

As a man George does a surprisingly amazing job at describing these feelings. And while, I definitely think we should be objective and consider the good, the bad and the ugly with how he writes woman, the good heavily outweigh the bad

[subdee]

Do you mind if I ask what medication you are taking for ADHD? I've been taking viloxazine but it keeps me awake for multiple days sometimes. My doctor and I are going to meet and talk about revising the medication. I'm trying to avoid adderall.

Hi anon! I'm not currently taking any medication for ADHD. When I was in grad school I had a methylphenidate prescription, the generic version of Ritalin.

... I also couldn't get the prescription refilled because I did grad school in England and fast-acting stimulants are a schedule II controlled substance there, plus adult ADHD diagnoses weren't really a thing at the time (this was 10 years ago).

So since I only had the limited supply I brought with me I would take it "as needed" to write papers, finish assignments, write my graduate thesis... Basically I was one of those bad people who get a prescription they "don't need" just to get schoolwork done, even though I had been properly evaluated and diagnosed by my regular non pill-pushing doctor before going to the UK.

Maybe it's because I wasn't taking the medication regularly AS medication, but my experience was the same as yours. I had a lot of trouble sleeping, plus I would get a bit, I don't know if manic is the proper word for it, but energized and then crash afterward.... I don't think I've ever been as depressed as I was while prescribed methylphenidate, lol. This would happen with both the quick-release and slow-release pills and actually the slow-release ones were worse because they were at a higher dose.

So my experience with ADHD medication is mixed because on the one hand I did finish my thesis on time and on the other hand it wasn't something I could continue long term, and ultimately I decided to stop taking it and find other ways to focus.

...and also, I decided to not pursue a career in social statistics that would have required a lot of intense focus on solitary projects for long periods of time. Instead I work in an urban high school where we're always in crisis mode and there are immediate consequences if I don't plan my lessons well enough and that motivates me, lol.

It's funny, as a kid I always considered that I had a shorter attention span than others, and also that it was more variable than others and less under my conscious contro (Thinking, Fast and Slow is a good book about this).

But as I've become an (older) adult and settled, and also as more and more people spend more and more time looking at screens -- we were the ONLY family with a desktop computer at home in my neighborhood when I was in middle school -- lately it seems like the average attention span has shortened. And mine is actually fairly long now in comparison. So I don't feel the need to take medication anymore, really.

The non-medication thing that helped me the most, btw, when I was job-hunting after grad school was a project to journal my moods / energy hour by hour throughout the day. Because what I realized was that my main problem was that I didn't **know** how I was feeling, so I couldn't manage my energy by myself by adjusting my schedule, resting when needed, drinking coffee, etc.

Once I gained the magic skill to know and manage my own moods that helped tremendously. And I want to say that the ADHD medication, although I didn't keep using it, really helped with that by exaggerating my attention swings and making them predictable. Not just was it easier to recognize the exaggerated moods, but also I let go of a lot of ideas I'd had about what I "should" be able to do and a lot of moralizing I'd been doing about being a lazy good for nothing, etc. Because how could it be a moral issue or a question of willpower when you could change it with a pill?

For this reason, I think everyone should try a mind-altering or mood-altering drug at some point in their lives, even if they ultimately decide to not take any drugs. I think it gives you empathy for other people whose brains work differently from yours, and a sense of perspective about your own brain.

I'm sure this isn't what you wanted, maybe try asking in a ADHD medication subreddit or on ask.metafilter.com. I think you'd get a lot of interesting advice.

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

Please, think for a second what kind of “spotify US farms” are out there that are only available for jimin and no one else😂 he’s charting because he has a dedicated fanbase in US who’s working hard for him since company doesn’t give a fuck. Also spotify monthly listeners mostly depend on playlisting. Have you noticed how the next day after a new song drops we can see a big increase like 200k+ new listeners? But jungkook got MILLIONS after seven, he’s super popular no doubts but the reason for such a big difference was an insane playlisting which no other member had. You are free to believe he got it because he deserves it more than others for whatever reason but it’s just a fact

This is such a bad faith reply. I admitted that I have some blinders on when it comes to Jungkook and that sometimes it's hard to know which Jungkook solo accounts are genuine or not (the account I saw seemed normal, but they're a Jimin anti, so apologies to Jimin). Also, I've read the term "streaming farms" multiple times, in non-BTS contexts, and while it sounds like a bullshit term made up to discredit artists, fans do create dozens of accounts just to stream and vote, so it didn't sound completely out there. I've now Googled it (should've done it before), and I'm still confused because there are multiple opinions, but it's a real thing, yet Spotify apparently filters them and it's not very important in the end? I also didn't realize "streaming farms" was something fans used against each other all the time.

Anyway, I understand that while Jimin's songs didn't have the same reach as Jungkook's biggest songs, he does have a powerful US fanbase.

Please, think for a second what kind of “spotify US farms” are out there that are only available for jimin and no one else😂

Again, I wasn't rude to you, so don't be rude to me. Fans do prioritize different things though? Fandoms choose where to focus their attention and resources on. And, theoretically, they wouldn't just be available to Jimin. I apologize for the use of the term, since I honestly don't know much about it (which I did make clear...).

Also spotify monthly listeners mostly depend on playlisting. Have you noticed how the next day after a new song drops we can see a big increase like 200k+ new listeners? But jungkook got MILLIONS after seven, he’s super popular no doubts but the reason for such a big difference was an insane playlisting which no other member had. You are free to believe he got it because he deserves it more than others for whatever reason but it’s just a fact

I follow Jungkook chart accounts and I'm pretty sure there wasn't even a 50k increase in monthly listeners after NLG. I also remember the biggest increase in monthly listeners before Seven happening after Dreamers, which got almost no playlisting, and not after L&R, which did. But I'm not a charts expert. I just think you're exaggerating the amount of playlisting Jungkook gets. It's more than Jimin, but it's really not that big. Don't NJs, for example have some good playlisting too? Also, Seven didn't get insane playlisting?? And it was a genuine hit. It was the 4th most streamed song in 2023 on Spotify...

And Jungkook doesn't deserve playlisting more than the other members... I never said that? And, again, you're greatly exaggerating the playlisting he gets.

[tribow]

So I watched Blood-C

Continuing my Blood streak, I have finished watching this too! I have actually seen Blood-C before, but I never finished it due to being spoiled about the ending. Now that I actually watched the whole thing and saw the full context...I'm dissatisfied.

In fact, that just about sums up my thoughts on Blood-C: "Dissatisfied". Throughout much of the story, all I did was wait for the answer to "Why?"

Why must Saya do what she must do? Why does this character know this? Why the dog? Why the school? Why did they go back? Why are these monsters showing up at specific times of the day?

It was clear that several characters had answers to these questions. There's a lot of very unsubtle foreshadowing in the dialogue to make it obvious.

Alone, this wouldn't be a problem, but nothing else in Blood-C hooked me. The characters all felt pretty weak. Saya has 0 agency until ths end, and most of her interactions with other characters are small talk, direct orders, or questions that dont get answered. The dialogue feels a little unnatural and to make matters worse, there's so much wasted time!

I tried to come up with reasons as to why so many innocuous scenes happen and none of them made sense. It's especially frustrating because of how heavy this anime is.

If you didn't know Blood-C is quite infamous for being an extremely violent gorefest. Many people have written it off as a guro porn due to these violent and very bloody scenes. I'm not exaggerating; people get torn in half, heads bitten off, crushed, amputated, impaled multiple times, and its a bloody mess.

Honestly, despite all that....I disagree with the notion that Blood-C is gorey for the sake of it. The violence has a place in the story that works and makes sense...IS WHAT I'D LIKE TO SAY. For the most oart it's true, but in certain episodes during the second half there's some deaths that are practically comedic or unecessary. I was so ready to have my expectations shattered and then some guy gets killed by the shards of a window impaling him are you kidding me?

Ugh, there's one genuinely good thing I can say about Blood-C and it's the action. Wholeheartedly, Blood-C's action is some of the best I've ever seen. The choreography is really cool for nearly every fight that happens.

You know how most anime will have characters monologuing their plans or reactions to their opponent? They'll shout their attacks. Sometimes the fight almost seems turn based. You can't read the pace of the battle without background characters expositing about what just happened.

As a big fan of a good-ass fight scene these issues stick out to me. I'm happy to say Blood-C lacks many of these problems. You can get an idea of what a character's battle strategy is just by watching their actions it's so cool how these animators were able to achieve this consistently. Production IG was not slacking here.

It sucks that action that goes this hard is tied to a story that ultimately just fails for me. Each character's book closes in a terrible way. The mystery that unravels only left me questioning the logistics of it rather than keeping me intrigued.

I wish I liked this. I wish I could say the despite all of the extreme violence Blood-C has something great going on in there and I just can't. Don't recommend.

Now....you might be aware that I have been watching every anime related to Blood and I didn't mention the connection between the other anime at all in this whole review. Well, that's cause Blood-C has a movie to follow-up that cliffhanger and since I rambled so hard here I'll save that discussion for that movie.