#this poster came to mind and I just needed to remake it

[thatrandomblogging]

A Remake of an Old SFM of Mine

[vanchlo]

Green Eyes

*Thanks so much for reading! c: There are now several parts you can read here:   2    3    4 

I’m so happy to share that I won a fiction writing award for this short story through my college’s art journal! c: 

Blurb Synopsis: You had been subbing for Mr. Styles for the last couple of months, but you’ve yet to meet him. The notes you leave for each other have sparked a friendship, leading you to want more, and you wonder if he does too.

Genre: Teacher Harry, lots of fluff, friendship, and maybe even some romance? ;) 

Warnings: None

Word Count: 5.5k words

Pairing: Harry x Reader

Music Inspo: Green Eyes by Coldplay (click to listen)

*

His shelves were full of F. Scott Fitzgerald, Rumi, and Charles Bukowski. His desk was covered in scribbled Post-It notes, Bit-O-Honey wrappers, and empty mugs of tea. 

This is what you noticed the first few times you subbed in his classroom. 

These were the only details you knew about the man whose face you’ve never seen. As you gradually began to substitute for his high school English classes more and more, you learned about him more. This was due to his students, and his personal belongings. 

What he didn’t and didn’t like: all the way from no fringes on a notebook paper, no red pen ever because that was his grading color, no using the word ‘can’t’ in his class, and students can eat all the snacks they want as long as the trash goes in the bin where it belongs. 

The CDs in a stack on the shelf told you which ones he actually listened to because they were the ones that were on top and without dust. 

You learned that the pristine book on his desk was never the one he was reading. No, it was the weathered and used copy beside his mug with dog-eared pages and penciled notes. 

His drawers told you another story with their contents: boxes of teas ranging from peach to vanilla macaron, journals filled to the brim with words, adult coloring books with tv show themes, and books on Van Gogh and Monet hinting at his artsy background. His students slowly warmed up to you, and through them, so did he. 

At this point, you’d only been subbing for Mr. Styles the last five months, racking up around two and a half weeks worth of subbed days. He always left precise and concise lesson plans for you. The books were where he said they’d be. The webpages he mentioned were bookmarked on his desktop. The teacher copy of the textbook and current group book were on his desk. At the beginning, his desk looked like a professional organizer had gotten their hands on it. Slowly, as you came to sub more for him, it grew messier, albeit you kept it tidy during your appearances. As the first few months passed and you became one of the few subs in his room, you started to find notes. They weren’t just any notes. They were more than the straight forward sub notes for the day’s agenda. No, they weren’t that simple. You can still remember the first one you found on a Post-It note - it went like this: 

Y/N, peanut butter on your waffles or syrup? 

It took you by surprise, but nonetheless, you answered his call. Each time, you’d find a contrasting pen color and scrawl your answer underneath his. Then leaving it somewhere he would find it the next day. They were one-liners at the beginning, and always interesting. Walking to his classroom from your car on those mornings, you’d fill with excitement at the anticipation of finding the next one. Sometimes it took you the entire day to find where he had hidden them. 

In the closet. 

In a nook in a drawer. 

Under the chair. 

On the backside of one of his books. 

Hidden in plain sight amongst his current choice of notes and lists. 

They never failed to spark a smile on your lips, whether it was quirky, confused, astounded or humored. 

Guitar or piano?

FRIENDS or The Simpsons?

Vanilla or Chocolate?

Would you rather become a superhero or a wizard?

The Beatles or the Rolling Stones?

Slowly, the questions became more personal, and more than just ‘this or that.’ His questions became longer, and so did your answers.  

What was the moment that made you decide to become a teacher?

Is Donny a good student for you, or is he lying to me about that?

What color are your eyes?

What book/film do you believe had the largest impact on you while growing up?

What is the one meal you always order at a restaurant?

Do you have a family?

Should I splurge and buy a new desk chair?

What book should I buy for my classroom you think I need to have? Why?

Why don’t you have a classroom of your own?

When is your birthday?

Star Wars or Lord of the Rings?

They were never a chore for you, or tedious. No, they were fun and you felt as if you saw a little sliver of who he really was with each note. After a while, you started to write and leave your own notes for him to answer. At first, many of them were similar to ones he had left you, because you wanted to hear his responses, too. 

*

The newest one stares back at you, his half-cursive registering in your eyes.

What’s your favorite part about subbing in my classroom? Don’t say the students, that’s what everybody says. 

Giggling to yourself, you reach over to his Pink Floyd mug to pull out a green pen. You take a moment to think of your answer. This time you found the note peeking out from behind the smart whiteboard. The sounds of the end of a school day tickle at your ears as you scribble down your answer. Pressing it to an open square of wood on his desk, you turn back to the royal blue pad of Post-Its. Peeling one off, the green pen hovers over the paper, but you can’t get yourself to write the question you’ve been wanting to know all along. 

He didn’t have a Facebook, or an Instagram. 

The high school doesn’t have a wall of staff pictures like others you’ve subbed at do. 

It’s late winter, so yearbooks are still a ways off. 

For all you know, you could have seen him here before in the halls when you subbed in another classroom. 

Exhaling, you press the pen to the paper before you can convince yourself to stop. Unlike the many times before when your fears got the best of you. 

What do you look like?

With a proud but nervous smile you stick it to the desk, layering the first note on top. It sticks to your lips as you bend down to reach your hand into your bag. The glossy bag greets your hand, and you pull it out to set down beside the note. 

A small bag of Bit-O-Honeys. 

Looking up, your eyes scan the empty classroom. Few footsteps, voices, and lockers slamming trickle in from the halls. You suddenly realize that this is the same view he sees, these are the same sounds he hears, and the same place he sits in every day. Well, when he’s not away on personal days, sick days, on holiday, and at workshops, hence your appearances. The thought knits something together inside of you, making you feel just that bit more closer to him. Something that’s been slowly happening over time since you first stepped foot in his classroom. 

One of the first things that did this was the posters scattered across his walls. A poster from the 2013 remake of The Great Gatsby, The Beatles’ Abbey Road album cover, a cartoon of William Shakespeare, a unifying print of Keith Haring’s art, and several posters of quotes from famous books - To Kill A Mockingbird, the Kite Runner, Of Mice and Men, The Life of Pi, and even The Hunger Games. It delighted you watching him add some of them to the walls since your time here, and you’ve been itching to purchase him one as a gift. You’re unsure of what he would like though, and the fear of failure has held you back from doing so. 

A bleep! catches your attention. Casting your eyes to the dormant desktop screen, you wiggle the mouse. A red circle has appeared on the title of a tab opened to your professional email. Clicking over to it from a YouTube video he had you show the class, you find you have a new message. At the sight of who sent it, your heart skips a beat: harry.styles@isd . . . . . . . 

Hi. I reckon you’re still sitting at my desk this moment, now that’s a funny thought. I wanted to ask you a question while I remembered. I have to go out of town on Friday for a funeral. Believe me, I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have to, but these things are a must. I apologize for it being short notice, but I thought I’d ask you if you would like to take it before I posted it to the sub database. Please let me know either way by tonight, so it has a few days to sit on the website to be claimed. Also, I wanted to say thanks for everything you do. My students really love you, and it makes me wonder what I’m missing. Enjoy your night! 

Sincerely,

Harry Styles

“Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you. - WW”

A smile warms your cheeks as you finish reading his words, and the familiar poem that ends every email of his. You quickly type up a response to him, agreeing to take the job on Friday, thanking him for thinking of you. A new email appears in your inbox shortly after from another colleague, which occupies you before you lose yourself in your thoughts again. 

Perhaps your favorite addition in his classroom is the Fender acoustic sitting on a stand in the corner. Of course, you’ve yet to see it move in the last five months. The stories his students have told you in a way have given it legs of its own in your mind. Much like the little notes you’ve been leaving for each other, something you dread ever ending. 

*

It was a Wednesday. You’re convinced that Mrs. Watson’s Pre-Calc class is surely the bane of your existence. You keep cursing yourself for taking sub assignments for math classes. Seeing that you’re terrible at the subject, you vowed you’d never take one of her assignments again, but you have to pay the bills somehow. You found your respite in the cozy staff lounge. Couches lined two of the walls, along with an arrangement of tables on the other side of the room. 

As you walk in, you see that one of the ancient history teachers has nodded off again on the plaid couch. Otherwise, the room is empty, and all to yourself. If that didn’t make you happy before, the assortment of food on the counter definitely does. 

Voices float in through the open door as the plastic lid to the cupcakes opens with a pop! 

“Ah, looks like ya got tha last chocolate one. I was savin’ that one fer me,” a voice comments from behind you. Turning, you find a tall man in his late 20’s walking towards you. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, you can have it,” you volunteer, holding the blue-iced cupcake out for his taking. 

His blush lips curl up with an amused smile. Dimples fall neatly into his cheeks covered with thick stubble. Its deep brown color matches that of the short quiffed curls atop his head. Misty green eyes stare back at you in the middle of his round, but sharp face. “‘m only joking. Go ahead and have it. I already had one earlier. They’re quite good actually, but I dunno ‘bout tha vanilla. Never really cared fer tha flavoir when it comes t’ cake and ice cream,” he comments, passing you to stop at the nearby sink. 

“Yeah, I like to forget vanilla exists half of the time,” you remark, peeling away the paper liner of the cupcake. 

Leaning against the counter, you watch as his ringed hand grabs a red coffee mug from the cabinet. “So do I. ‘s ratha boring, if I do say so meself.”

Nodding to yourself, a silence follows your words. The sweetness of the cupcake is shocking when you take a bite. It makes you wonder how you devoured these sugar bombs as a child. A few beeps and a hum from the microwave echo throughout the room as you check your phone. 

“Y’know, I haven’t seen ya here at tha school befo’. Are ya new dis year or a sub?” he asks, bringing your eyes back to his lean figure. He pulls a yellow square packet from his tight-fitting black slats, a blush button-down tucked into its waist. 

“I started subbing here this year,” you answer before taking another bite of the cupcake. Half of it consists of the sickeningly sweet frosting that makes your teeth ache. 

“Mmmm I see. How d’ya like it so far? Are ya a new teacher, ‘s that why yer subbin’?” 

“Yeah, I went back to school kinda late in the game after doing something else. I figure I’d sub for a little bit for some experience, because what’s another year of waiting by this time?” you comment, observing how he fiddles with his black tie while searching in the refrigerator. 

“Well, congratulations. ‘s a big step t’ go back t’ school fer sumthin’ ya love. ‘s a good profession, I reckon. I’ve been teaching fer 7 years, and here at dis school fer 5. Sumtimes schools even hire subs they’ve had when a position opens, so keep yer eyes open,” he tells you, turning to you with a smile, a yogurt in his hand. 

“Thank you,” you say sincerely, returning the smile. “I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

“Sure thing. I know it helped loads when I was a newbie. ‘ll see ya around, I gotta get back t’ class befo’ me students do first. Have a good one!” 

Walking towards you with the steaming cup of tea in his hands, he pats your arm with his other hand on the way out. Nodding at your ‘thank you’, a small ‘you’re welcome’ falls from his lips before the door closes behind him. Eating the last bite you can muster of the cupcake, you toss its remains in the bin. A thought worms its way into your mind as you sit down at the table. 

Wow, I wonder who that guy was? And is he married, because shit, he was handsome. 

*

The smell of orange essential oil greets you when you stepped foot into his classroom the next time. The state of his desk made you frown, and made you want to scratch the itch to clean it. You resisted it and didn’t, and that thought was taken away when his students began to find their desks. 

Another day of 7 classes came and went. 2 classes of Introduction to Creative Writing. 3 classes of American Literature. 2 classes of World Literature. Amusing YouTube videos broke up the monotony of your day, and those of his students. The lesson notes he left for you had become more concise as the months have passed, and as you learned from each other. The same couldn’t be said for the dish of Bit-O-Honeys on his desk that he’s kept stocked for your appearances. You’re just glad he’s put the bag you left for him to good use. All throughout your day you had been looking for his newest note, but this time it wasn’t in any of his usual spots. After correcting some quizzes from today, you finally found it in the bottom left-hand drawer of his mahogany desk. Stuck to a tall can of Coke, your favorite drink of choice. 

I’m sorry it’s warm, although I’m not sure how you like to drink it. I just find warm soda to be rather nasty. The answer to your question is I have green eyes, brown hair, I’m rather tall, and I like to dress up. Is that good enough for you? Now, what do you look like, love?

Your insides melt at the sight of his answer, but then you groan at the vagueness of it. Off the top of your head, you know there are at least 10 male teachers here at this school with brown hair, maybe more. Maybe even with green eyes, too, and you know that because you’ve seen them in the staff lounge or in the halls. The thought only grows worse when you lose count of  how many teachers there are here at this school. Let’s just say, there’s a lot. Yeah, that sure helps a whole lot. Annoyed, you pluck a pen from the green mug and answer his question with as little detail as possible. Two can play at this game, you think to yourself as you sigh. 

If you could have a jam session with any musician, dead or alive, who would it be?

Sticking the new note where its corner peeks out from under his tabletop calendar, your eyes return to the Coke. It’s undeniable, you feel a little less perturbed at him just at the sight of it. Only a little bit, that is. Sure, you’ve subbed for a countless number of teachers at this school, and more so in this school district. A few of them are even friends or relatives of yours, but you’d never connected with one before like you have with Harry. You just wish more than anything you could find out what he looks like and what he’s really like. Continuing to take his sub jobs doesn’t really help with that. It only drives you crazier wanting to know the other side of this fascinating human being. 

*

There he was, snoring on the couch again, tv remote in hand. The weather channel is playing, surprising you very little. Snickering, you yank open the door to the black refrigerator. After retrieving your striped black and blue lunchbox, you place the container of leftovers in the microwave. A laugh is heard over your shoulder, and when you turn, you find Green Eyes from the other day. 

Tittering as the door closes behind him, he says, “No fail, John ‘s always passed out on dat couch, I swear.”

“I know, it’s every time I’m here. Maybe he should just retire already so he can take his naps at home. Then maybe we could watch something on the tv for once,” you comment, shaking your head. Unpacking your lunch box, you take out a clementine, vanilla yogurt, and silverware. 

“Nah, he loves it too much. I don’t see him leavin’ anytime soon,” he remarks, walking past you to search the shelves of the fridge. “What’re we having’ t’day? Couldn’t find any cupcakes dis time?”

“No, those ones were too sweet anyways. They gave me a stomachache,” you complain with a grimace. The beeeeep! of the microwave interrupts your thoughts. 

“Mmmm, I dunno, I thought they were pretty good.” Rubbing his tummy, he pulls a breathy laugh from your lips. 

Your steaming container of leftovers almost burns your hands, and you dread trying to eat it within the next 10 minutes. Setting up for a lesson in Mr. Harrison’s classroom was a pain, making you wonder why you take any sub jobs besides Harry’s anymore. 

“No free food fer us t’day,” he pouts beside you, closing the fridge door before venturing to the vending machine in the corner. Your eyes drift to his outfit choice today - a white button-down topped with a buttoned vest the shade of ochre, all tucked into brown slacks.

“That’s why you pack a lunch. I thought you’d know the drill by now, since you said you’ve been teaching for a while.”

“I do, but sumtimes I forget. Yer already ahead o’ me with dat part, love,” he who doesn’t have a name answers with a short laugh. Sliding a leather wallet from his pocket, you see him type in a number before you sit down at the table. “Who are ya subbin’ fer t’day then?”

“I’m on the west side in the Science wing for Harrison. Bloody Bio.”

“Ugh, I neva cared fer science. Where were ya a few weeks ago when I last saw ya?” he questions, sliding out a chair across from you. An assortment of vending machine food hits the table with a slap - peanut M&M’s, a nutrigrain bar, and a bag of Sun Chips. 

“Upstairs in Watson’s Maths class. Remind me to never sub for her again, because I can’t understand Pre-Calc for the life of me. I never could in high school so I don’t know why I thought I could know,” you chuckle. A warmth fills your cheeks at the sight of his lips spreading into an amused smile. 

“Yeah, I neva cared fer Maths meself eitha. Numbas neva made a bit o’ sense t’ me, words were always betta,” he explains. You nod along with his words, your mouth occupied with a bite of spaghetti and meatballs. “What subject would ya like t’ teach once tha year’s ova an’ ya go searchin’ fer a job o’ yer own?”

“Um, probably something in English since that’s my focus area. Dabbling in History has been fun, though. I enjoy learning about it myself, and I always have a better time subbing in either of those classes,” you reveal. 

“I see,” he replies, his head going up and down. The crinkling of the granola bar wrapper fills the silence between you before he takes a bite. Crumbs pepper his chin, but he wipes them away from his thin beard. “How often d’ya sub here then?”

“I’d say probably 3 days a week typically, but some weeks are 4. Otherwise, I sometimes sub for a friend or somebody I know over at the middle school.”

“Ah, so yer license is sumthin’ like 8 - 12, ‘s it?” he inquires, picking up the black mug you hadn’t noticed he had. 

“Yeah, I thought that would give me a good range for those grades. With my experience now, I think I’d like to stay at the high school level though,” you continue, twirling you fork around in the noodles covered in tomato sauce. Crossing your legs, the satiny fabric of your black dress pants moves with you. 

“We could always use anotha good teacher here. Ya neva know what’ll happen,” he smiles, standing to his feet with his snacks held in his large hand. Returning his smile, he adds his mug to that hand, patting your back once on his way out. “See ya next time, love. Keep yer head up, it’ll get betta.” 

“Thanks,” you automatically respond with. When you go to say his name, you’re lost for words, because you suddenly remember you’ve never gotten it. Now, he’s already too far away to ask for it. 

Shrugging your shoulders, you stab a meatball with your fork, wondering when the next time will be that you’ll see him again. Because, he sure is nice to look at, and he’s nicer to you than anybody else here. 

*

Stevie Nicks or John Lennon, it’s a tough call. Okay, I’m doing two questions from now on, because you ask such good ones :( Who would you jam with then? Question #2: What was the last concert you went to?

This time, you found the Post-It before the school day even started. It was on the seat of his chair, making you think he wanted you to find it right away. You’re thinking maybe he remembered one of the last times you complained about how hard he had made it. Sometimes you worry about how excited you get to look for these each time you sub in his classroom, but then you remember it’s only once every few weeks. 

That can’t hurt, can it? 

That day the hallways were louder than they usually were after school. You attributed that to the boys’ semifinals basketball game set to be played tonight in the gymnasium. The school’s home team against a nearby rival school. Students couldn’t stop talking about it all day, and many of them shared they’d be sticking around after school to attend. Checking your watch, you note that you should have enough time to stop at home to eat dinner before coming back for it. Even though you hadn’t even known about it before today. 

The Sufjan Stevens song floating from his desktop fills the room as you get out books for tomorrow. Your hands are full with copies of The Kite Runner, making you feel grateful again to Harry- Mr. Styles for picking a decent classic for the class to read. Although you’d only read it a few years ago yourself, and it broke your heart, you’re excited to sub next time to help his World Lit class with it. 

“Oh hey, be careful there, yer gonna slip and fall with all o’ those,” somebody says from behind you, distracting you from your mission of bringing the pile of books from the closet to a desk. 

Don’t I know that voice? Turning your eyes to the doorway, you find Green Eyes walk in with a coat slung over his arm. Wait a second. 

“I-I’m fine,” you stutter, but your actions that follow negate your words. Your eyes run over his familiar features, and slowly the puzzle pieces start to click in your head. Harry? A thought bomb explodes in your head, and the books tumble from your arms. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

“Yer okay,” he murmurs, stopping in front of you. Kneeling down, you both begin to pick up the books, stacking them on top of each other. “Thanks for gettin’ me set up fer t’morrow though. I appreciate it.” 

“Mmmhmm,” is all you can say, because any words that want to come out can’t get past the lump in your throat. One that’s there because of the realization you just had.

Green Eyes and Harry are the same person. 

How did I not figure this out sooner? 

“So, ya must be Y/N, huh?” he giggles, his head bent down as he helps you pick up the books. 

“Y-Yeah, surprise,” you admit, and your laugh soon joins his. Before you know it, the both of you can’t stop laughing. 

“Here,” you hear him say. Looking up, you find him standing in front of you holding his hand out for you to take. A cozy looking maroon sweater covers his upper half, and blue jeans don the rest. “Fancy meetin’ you here,” he jokes in between laughs. 

“You’re right about that,” you answer, taking his hand. He helps you to your feet where you smooth down the violet skirt of your dress. “I can’t believe I didn’t connect the dots.”

“Yer not tha only one, love,” Harry comments, bending over to grab a stack of books. He begins to set one on each desk as he walks down the aisles of them. “But I s’pose there wasn’t any way t’ know.”

“Yeah, I couldn’t find you on Facebook,” you confess, cursing yourself for the slip up a few seconds later. Lifting your head from the book you just set on a desk, you find his amused eyes on you across the room. 

“Ah, so ya were stalkin’ me, were ya?” he smirks, his delightful laugh following his words. 

“No, I wasn’t! You’re just one of the only colleagues I’ve subbed for who I’ve never met, or like don’t know what they look like.”

Your small stack soon disappears and when you return to the pile at the back of the room, he does too. 

“So, what d’ya think? Are ya disappointed then?”

“No,” you say automatically, lifting your eyes to his green ones that land on you. His cheeks lined with a thick, neat beard crease with dimples as he smiles at you. 

“Neither am I . . . .  Ms. Vance Joy fan,” he returns, holding your gaze. The sincerity in his words gets under your skin, going straight to your heart. The sarcastic joke inside of them makes you giggle. 

Clearing your throat, you look away with what you’re sure are blushing cheeks. Most likely, an entire blushing face. “What are you doing here, anyways, if you were gone for the day?”

“I can’t miss me boys’ big game, a few o’ me students are on tha team. I thought I’d catch up on sum emails and grading befo’hand, but didn’t know ya’d still be here.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was just leaving, anyways,” you mutter, your movements stilling. 

“I didn’t mean it dat way, love. ‘m glad we finally met, it was about time, anyways,” Harry insists, and you nod before continuing to place a book at each desk. “Hey wait, you said you were short and all plain in yer note. No, yer not, ya fibber.”

“Oh like your description was any more accurate,” you scoff lightheartedly, setting down a book before grabbing another from your dwindling stack. 

His rich laugh meets your ears, and you can’t resist looking over to him. “Ya didn’t give yerself enough credit, ya know,” he almost coos, and you swear your heart melted into a puddle right then and there. That’s if it hadn’t done so already when you realized he’s Green Eyes. Swoon. 

It’s hard to hold back the excitement curling at the edge of your lips. Soon, you run out of books again and when you take a peek at him, so has he. 

“Were ya gonna go?” he questions, and you deal him one when you look at him confused. “T’ tha game, I mean.”

Your body feels like jello, and that any move you make would be sloppy. Embarrassing. That’s the last thing you want to look like in front of him. With his dazzling smile, adorably dimpled cheeks, and the cozy vibes he’s giving off. Not to mention, the clean citrus scent wafting off of him. A smell you certainly would be okay with smelling for hours on end. If only. 

“Well bloody Rob around tha corner bailed on me, so I have an extra ticket now. Would ya like t’ join me? I was thinkin’ o’ grabbin’ a sub from ‘round tha corner befo’. Concession food ‘s always too expensive, and never worth tha lines at halftime,” Harry suggests, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans. One corner of his mouth climbs up his cheek, making you feel like maybe you’re not alone in these jumbled feelings. Or in the fun you’ve had carrying on this blind relationship with him. 

“Yeah, that sounds like fun. Maybe we could get to know each other a little better than the few words Post-It notes can hold.”

Slowly, the other corner of his lips curls upwards, making the dimple fall into his cheek once again. Nodding, his lips split into a full-fledged smile, singing with a chuckle. “I’d really like that,” he reveals before venturing to the door and shutting off the light. Extending an arm, he waves a hand towards himself.

“Hold on, let me get my things.”

“No rush. ’s not like ‘ve waited seven months fer dis or anythin’,” he quips. By now, you’re certain your face resembles a tomato. You hope that in the muted light, perhaps he won’t notice. 

Hurriedly, you slip on your light coat and drape your bag over your shoulder. Your eyes catch something as you’re tucking your phone in your pocket. Grabbing one last thing, you turn to find him watching you from the lit doorway. 

“What?” he wonders aloud, still with that smile etched onto his face. One you’re fairly sure you could get used to seeing. 

“Here,” you tell him, placing the Post-It note in his palm. His fingers dotted with dark hairs brush against you, just for a second longer than need be. 

“Ah, can’t forget dis now. Important stuff here.”

“Indeed,” you note, stifling a laugh as the sarcasm floats in the air. 

You observe his eyes flit across the paper holding your cursive as your steps echo down the empty hallway. 

“Hmmm, funny. It says ‘would you like to meet up sometime’ on here,” Harry reads, casting his twinkling eyes to you. Green eyes. “I was jus’ ‘bout t’ ask ya tha same thing on me next note. But I had sumthin’ that woulda took tha cake fer sure.”

“What’s that?” you remark, wondering how that could be. Those thoughts fly out the window when you feel his arm come around your shoulder. A squeal sounds inside of your head, but hey, at least that’s far less embarrassing than doing it out loud. 

“I was gonna tell ya dat Tracy across tha hall from me ‘s leavin’ afta dis year, and I may have recommended a certain sumbody t’ tha principal t’ replace her,” Harry hums, a knowing glint dancing in his eyes as they hover over you. “What d’ya say t’ bein’ colleagues instead o’ bein’ me sub?”

“I think I could get used to that,” you answer, letting your smile take over your entire face.

“So could I, love. So could I.” 

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales: Terror of the Terra-Firmians!  (Lena Retrospective) (Commission by WeirdKev27): Launchpad Looses his Last Brain Cell and I Loose My Patience

Welcome back Weblena Warriors to the second part of my look at everyone’s favorite Emo Teen Shadow Lesbian Duck... and probably the only one but hey, semantics, Shadow Into Light, which was made possible by viewers like you, the ultra humanite and a commission from WeirdKev27. Picking up where we left off, we have our first episode that has a different intended order than airing order. 

As most of you probably remember, but some of you who joined later might not be aware of the broadcast order for the first half of season one is, in the academic sense, pretty fucked. It’s not Darkwing Duck’s entirely fucked by a web of badger spiders and a queen snake on top to make it some sort of train situation, but by just sorta airing whatever episodes they wanted to, Disney messed with the character balance so Huey got less focus, not that he got a ton of focus this season but still, as well as leaning into the episodes focusing more on the kids with less involvement from the adults which gave the wrong impression about the series. While it IS very focused on the triplets and webby, the show isn’t entirely about them, but as Frank has mentioned a few times, Disney Channel apparently has this WEIRD thing where they assume kids won’t like stories starring the adult characters. 

Yeah I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while. Mostly how it’s so dumb I could swear Pauly Shore was an exec at Disney Channel. And he might be I don’t know what he’s doing these days and i’d like to keep it that way. For starters, the Scooge comics, while barely published in the US these days, are still popular globally and have appealed to kids and adults for generations and are mostly focused on him, with the kids in a supporting role and Ducktales, you know the thing your directly remaking here, was also mostly about him with the triplets supporting, if a bit less than the comics. Most of the Disney Afternoon was about adult characters, with any kids in side roles in the main cast. And it comes off entirely hypocritical of them to say this when the MCU is easily marvel’s biggest cash cow at the moment, and marvel properties have appealed to both kids and adults, like the duck comics, for decades. And if it’s because the marvel cartoons weren’t doing well , I’ll let you in on a little secret: Those didn’t do well because they looked bland and from what I’ve seen of them felt kind of bland, though I haven’t seen enough to fully judge. Kids LIKE adult characters as much as kid characters, and also like teen characters despite not being teens. Focusing on either is valid and while I LIKED Disney’s youth starring shows I also want another X-Men cartoon before I turn 50, and I bet kids would like that too, with the last one only failing because you bailed on it because you were throwing a hissy fit over fox having the movie rights, and do not get me started on that. Point is this argument is horse shit and should stay in the stables. 

So yeah I do think this episode came too soon and it’s placement effected it at the time and as such it dosen’t have the best rep with the fandom aside from the Lena bits and that includes me. The fact it was very early in the series and the characterizations hadn’t yet sunk in really hurt this episode in places but is it really that bad? Join me under the cut to find out

We open at the movies! Which scrooge apparently hasn’t been too since the 1930′s or seen any on video despite Della existing and being really stubborn. 

A rant for another episode. But the kids just got out of a Mole Monster movie, along with Lena, Beakly and Launchpad. Their reactions are as follows: Lena, Webby and Dewey really enjoyed it, Huey found it unrealistic... says the boy whose uncle fought a dragon made of gold a month or two back but we’ll get to that, and Louie was bored and felt it didn’t have enough of the ultra violence, kids these days it’s not about the gore it’s about the tension. And Beakly.. is just pissed Lena tricked them into seeing this and said it was educational. And the more I think about it the more this sounds like BEAKLYS fault than Lena’s. BEAKLY is the one who likely bought the tickets, who saw it was likely an r or pg-13 and who as we’ve seen HAS A PHONE, and ulnike scrooge probably isn’t so stingy she wouldn’t spring for a smart phone, so she could’ve just googled it, or whatever bird related pun is in this version.. gandered it.. yeah let’s go with that, gandered it, and SEEEN it wasn’t appropriate or walked htem out of the theater and ate the cost if she was that bothered by it. Sitting through a Horror Movie you didn’t research, didn’t pull the kids out of and dind’t bother to even check the poster for or use basic common sense is YOUR fault. And this could’ve worked fine, had Lena talk the kids into begging for it or had launchpad take them and have Beakly find out after, having driven to pick them up as she didn’t trust launchpad to take them home. Instead it makes the former super spy look REALLY stupid and feels really out of character for a SPY to not to do research. And it wasn’t like they decided on this later, Bentina being a spy was part of the character’s backstory from day one and its made clear as early as episode 2 in both airing orders. This is just lazy writing to justify the episode and I expect better from this crew. 

But an argument errupts between Huey and Webby over the Terra-Firmians, a hidden race of rock people living in Duckburg’s discontinued sewer system, allegedlys. So Lena suggest simply going down which gets a disapproving look from Beakly, despite you know this being their bread and butter, and the fact that if she had a problem with Scrooge not being involved.. she could just call him. Exploring fabled rock people is something he’d be into. I mean there’s a low profit margin but it also costs him almost nothing to walk to the theater or have launchpad swing around and pick him up. Just gas which given how much he pays for jet fuel isn’t a big ask. But Beakly soon gets distracted by Launchpad whose convinced the film is real and is attacking the poster a grim sign of things to come as while Beakly annoyed me in this one on rewatch, especially after realizing the above... Launchpad annoyed me both times and for VERY good reason we’ll get into. This provides a distraction and allows the trio to escape. Cue titles. 

After the title sequence, our heroes head deeper underground, there’s too much panic in this town... I mean props to Donald for trying something new but he really needs to rethink his cologne choices. Sex Panther is just.. not a good smell on.. anyone. 

So our heroes journey through the depths of the subway system, and we find out part of why Huey’s so skeptical, as he finds anything that isn’t in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook to not exist, though the cracks in this already show as he’s added anything that does. We’ll get back to this later but as you can tell the basic dynamic for 24 minutes is Webby being a wholehearted True Believer and Huey being a Skeptical Sally. And Lena is just sorta “Eh gives me an excuse for shenanigans” about it. We also get a peak into webby’s mind as we see her notes .. which really just come off as Terra-Firmian fanfiction involving a war of succession between two sides, the terra’s and the firmies, something based on previous media, and also some doodles of a fictional candy called webby-dings and herself as a superhero, both things I want to see. 

But yeah the first third of the episode is pretty simple, just them journeying, the occasional shift in the firmament, and it’s not bad, and there are a few great bits: Huey nerds out about rocks, and finds them way more interesting than a possible rock monster.

Which leads to the best gag of the episode as when Huey tries to pick up a big sample Webby, annoyed at his hyperfixation on the JWG, asks him to ask his book for help.. which he does by reading it and actually manages to pick the large rock up. This is halted though when Lena screams.. though she really just did it to draw them to an abandoned subway car full of glomgold posters for glomgold products because of course a failed subway project has his name plastered over it. You can’t spell glomgold without failure.. the failure is silent. Glomgold is not. 

The fun is interuptted though by a livid Beakly who had realized they were missing in an earlier scene, after telling the Manager that McDuck Industries would pay for the poster.. and then found out Launchpad also destroyed the toilets “They come up thorugh the sewers!”. Launchpad that’s CHUDS, Ninja Turtles and Rats who raised Ninja Turtles like their own sons, mole people dig or use old mineshafts. It’s basic mole science. Also Beakly really shouldn’t sweat it, I just assumed the city has had a runnig bill witht he company for “McDuck Family and Employee Related Accidents, Mayhem and Shenanigans”. I mean he’s had Gyro on his payroll for at least a decade and a half by the series start, Gyro has leveled whole sections of city in an afternoon more than most giant monsters. Of which several have destroyed Duckburg. It got better. 

Point is she’s livid about them sneaking off with Lena pointing out their some sort of adventure family and Beakly.. saying she won’t see them again, or at least implying it hard. I’ll put a pin in this, as the train buckles and a bit of seismic, or rock men, activity means their stuck. So they divide into teams: Beakly will go try and unhook the train car from the busted cars so they can ride out, Launchpad will go try and fix it, and we get this lovely exxchange as a result

Launchpad: Cool never crashed a train before Beakly: Can’t you try driving it without crashing it? Launchpad: Wha? 

His face in that scene is priceless. He takes Dewey along. More on that in a second. Webby, Huey and Louie are told to stay put with Beakly only bringing Lena along because she dosen’t trust her. So since we have three split plots for a second... let’s split up gang, starting with the most aggrivating, middling with what you all came here for and why this is part of the retrsopective, and ending with the plot that directly heads into the final part of the episode. 

Launchpad and Dewey: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay starting with the most infamous plot and easily the worst part of this episode, probably the worst plot in any Ducktales 2017 episode. That’s not hyperbole it’s really that bad and really pissed people off, as fans of the original launchpad felt they made him overly stupid. This is where the airing order’s a problem as putting an episode with a subplot where one of your characters is obnoxiously dumb right up front means they assume this is his charcter and not just one poorly written chapter in a very dumb but very loveable characters life, likely because the writers hadn’t figured out how to properly scale his stupidity with comptience. 

So as a result we get a good 3-4 mintutes if not agonizingly more of Launchpad assuming something he saw in a fucking movie film was real. That.. that’s his actual plot. Need I remind you, he’s in his late 20′s early 30′s. He’s not much older than me. While other episodes have him as dim this one claims he CAN’T TELL FACT FROM FICTION. 

There are lines you have to keep with your characters to keep the audience from hating them. They crossed it about 80 times with this plot and make Launchpad into a gibbering dunderhead who can’t do anything right versus a regular dunderhead whose good at one or two things and loveable enough for us to like him and not care about his numerous safey violations and child endagerment charges. Thankfully this is the ONLY episode that gets this bad and they clearly learned from this, but it dosen’t make it any less of a tough sit. 

Dewey spends most of the subplot with a look on his face that just screams that he’s as done with this bullshit as we are, as Launchpad assumes he’s a mole person and brought along a pipe to presumibly bludgeon him, because wanting to cave his best friends skull in over stupidity is a GREAT look> Thankfuly he does not. And when the lights come back on Launchpad.. assumes he’s a monster because of bright light, GAH, and locks him out before they end up outside and the plto resolves itself by Dewey pointing out by Launchpad’s utterly baffling logic that he could be a mole monster, so Launchpad.. assumes he is. 

The subplot’s later buttoned up as he claims “I love being a mole monster”, again diffrent subteranian creature launchpad, she says he’s not and my suffering is thankfully at an end. This plot just sucks, it’s bad, overly stupid and dosen’t work with an adult character. Someone like say Ed from Ed, Edd N Eddy, or someone who belivies in weird conspiracy stuff like Dale Gribble or Stan Pines. with either of them this plot would’ve been fucking great. I could buy it from Dale and it just comes off as his normal paranoid weirdness. With Launchpad it comes off like he seriously needs help because the episode frames it as if he can’t tell ficton from reality, and his splotlight episode later would directly contridct this and make this episode even more aggrivating, as he’s a fan of Darkwing Duck, and KNOWS it’s acted out by an actor, so why wouldn’t he get this? It’s just....

It sucks, it sucks and I thankfully get to move on to a better subplot

Beakly and Lena: What You Are in the Dark

Beakly tells Lena she’ll never see Webby again after this.. then chastises her when she won’t help despite you know having just said she’s going to force their friendship apart, which Lena points out. She then gets mad at Lena making a sarcastic comment at her. Okay she’s lived with Louie for at least a week in airing order and a month or two in actual order. She has to be used to this by now. She’s insolent.. because you show her no respect, blame her for something that while sure she talked you into, you should’ve known better, and top it off by saying you want to keep her from the kids because they have bright futures and come from good familes and asks who rasied her and her face.. well.

Yeah wheras Launchpad and Huey, more on that in a second, were hurt by this being some of their earliest big roles, Bentina wasn’t.. until later when we found out just HOW bad Magica is to Lena and how much she dosen’t care about her other than as a tool to use. At this point we didn’t know just how much Lena was playing webby, how much she was only manipulating her, and even with her heroic act here we didn’t know if she only saw Webby as her way to break free. The next episode makes it clear she dosen’t and genuinely does care, 100%, so in hindsight it makes Bentina come off as ghoulsih for horribly asssuming about a girl she dosen’t know, and even if she did know about Magica wouldn’t know the full story, just like us, and then BERATING her after already saying she’s going to rip her away from Webby, which itself is PRETTY bad as she’s the only friend the girl has and sh’es doing so on... talking them into a horror movie, which as I outlined was more Bentina’s fault than Lena’s, and leading the kids into a dangerous place whicha gain, Lena pointed out is something she lets Scrooge do. And trust me i know that she actually knows Scrooge, and we later find out, as we’ll cover next month, that she isn’t ware HOW dangerous things are with Scrooge. It dosen’t change the fact she knows they do dangerous stuff to a point and that Lena may just be acting out. It also dosen’t change the fact she drove three children, yes including launchpad, down here with her instead of sending them home with Launchpad.. granted that option isn’t the safest but it’s safer than taking her with them thena cting like it’s ALL lena’s fault when three of the children, again including launchpad, are down there because of HER. Not Lena, HER. I’m harder on her because she’s older, wiser and was “raised properly” apparently. Though given the way she treats a random teen off the street she again knows nothing about and dind’t bother to ask... it begs the question. 

IT’s a good question. I could see the classism coming from being raised in 40′s and 50′s britain, judging by the timeline.. but even then she’s seen the world, and while her nature is supscious, the classit bullshit makes no sense after presumibly working with, and later spymastering for, various agents of various backgrounds. How has she not dropped this in decades. Scrooge very clearly dropped the racisim and homophobia of his time, so it still stands  on her for not dropping this. And Lena’s hurt shows under hte mask for the first time, that beneath the snark and secrecy.. is just an abused teenager with nowhere else to go and no way out being bullied by an older woman whose cutting off the only light at the end of the tunnel nto for good reason but out of classist, overprotective mallice.  My issues, which to be fair probably were intentional in the episode but sitll are a bit overblown, aside we do get an absoluttley tremendous moment later as a car falls on top of Beakly.. and Magica, speaking once more urges Lena to leave her, let her die and let their plans progress. And while that iself is.. dumb, what if someone finds her or her corpse later, especially since Scrooge would likely perosnally want to retrive the body to give her a proper burial as she’s his only friend at this point, or the rest of the family questoin the story?, it fits Magica’s lack of foresight we see throughout the season. But Lena... saves her. While she later gives an explination, and a valid one at that, it’s clear from her expressoin, her actoins and how she does it... that this is her. Part of it is defiance, as she glares at Magica before doing it, her own stubborn nature mixed with her hatred of her “aunt”, meaning Magica just made it all too easy for her to do this. But the real reason is clear: It’s the right thing to do. While pissing off her aunt and getting away with it is the cherry on top.. the real reason is that unlike Magica.. Lena is not a killer, not a monster, and not a heartless vacum ofa person. Even if she doesn’t like Beakly, for good reason.. she can’t, she WON’T leave her to die and leave Webby an orphan again. She loves Webby too much to do that to her and while she may deny it.. she’s too good a person to leave someone to die for something so petty. Even if she never sees webby again and the plans ruined. It’s better than the weight of knowing she let someone who wasn’t trying to harm her and whose actions, while terrible, were out of misguided protection of her granddaughter, die like this. She saves her. And as we’ll see it pays off.. but before that. 

Huey, Webby and Louie: Into the Unknown This plot’s a bit shorter, as Webby and Huey continue their argument, with Louie eventually making it clear, and not even hiding it when directly asked by Huey, that he’s playing both sides with a delighted expression on his face as the movie was boring but this, this is interesting. Which it is. But it’s interupted by dings on the roof and while Huey assumes i’ts just a regular rock, it moves while their not lookiung.. and soon red eyed, horrifying beasts look out at them and the kids flee back to the car. This dosen’t pan out as the car starts to shake and is clearly going to collapse.. and while Webby and Louie are prepared to flee, rock monsters or no, Huey, in an utterly heart shattering image.. stays in place, terrified of moving. 

This is where this plot goes from mildly aggrivating, as Huey’s Skeptic shenanigans can get on the nerves.. to BRILLIANT. See at the time this was more annoying because it was assumed the skepticsim would be a part of Huey’s character and we’d get more episodes of him being annoying only to be proven wrong, as he semeingly dosen’t learn his lesson at this point, looging the terrafrimians in the guide book. But on rewatch.. this plot is amazing.  For starters the plot subtly introduced the defening characteristic of Huey’s personality, one that’s become more prounounced in Season 3: His need for Order. He needs things to make sense: He solves stuff because he likes there to be order in the world and something he can understand, he can put in a box in his head. Like a lot of neurotypical people, myself included, he struggles horribly when the clearly defined boxes of his life and things he undestand have wrinkles or complexities he can’t get. I for instnace easily got it when I was introduced to the concept of trans people or being non binary.. they just make sense in hindsight: given how our brains are messya nd complicated it makes sense some people would be born in the wrong ones, and tht with all the science and medicine we have to correct that, should be allowed to transition if they so choose. It makes equal sense that some people just don’t have a gender or are gender fluid, being both or neither. Despite struggling with non binary prounouns due to force of habit.. I get the concept with no real difficulty. But when it comes to accepting I don’t have to apologize for everything and that everyone is not angry or that anger is natural and people sometimes get mad and you can’t and shouldnt’ fix it.. it’s something I STRUGGLE with even knowing it’s not right, because my brain is just wired that way. 

That’s how Huey’s struggle comes off here.. he reveals he’s willing to stay and die.. because he’s SO scared of the unknown, that the idea of dying from something he at least knows what it is versus something he dosen’t.., so paralizyed by his own brain he can’t figure out the obvious.. it takes Webby reaching out to him figuratively and literally, to show him that sometimes you have to face the unknown. The unknown is fucking terrifying.. but it can be good and it’s better than sitting there, scared and unable to move. You have to try, to grow and take that risk that things may not go well to really LIVE. 

So he does.. and they reunite with the rest of the group.. and soon find the terrafirmains.. who as it turns out once we get some light on them... are actually just goofy looking,  brightly colored, each one matching one of the kids, kids themselves, and Huey reaches out and touches one, which by ET logic means their friends now, and the terrafirmians help them get out. And this lesson sticks. While sure Huey catalogues it and it seems it didn’t.. he’s never this skeptical again. This douchey skepticsim was only for one episode, his fear of the uknown replcaed with boundless curosity and from here on he’s CURIOUS about new stuff as long as it’s not trying to kill him. He loves taking in new experinces, maybe not to webby levels but he does actually try them and study them instead of just fearing them. 

Before we wrap things up, obviously we need to talk about the JWG not having entries on a lot of stuff. This would be corrected next season as it returns to being a big book of everything, but dosen’t completely contridct this as Timephoon! shows there’s stillcgaps.. which i’m fine with. While it knowing EVERYTHING was fine for the original series here, with things being slightly more groudned, it’d just be an obvious plothole if Huey didn’t use it every single time they ran into something and that’d get boring. Instead it’s simply that it dosen’t know everything, and really in the comics at times it didn’t and the triplets found out new things. It knew almost everything mind you, but having some gaps for dramatic tnesion is fine with me and Seasons 2 and 3 decided on that instead of just having it being a scouting manual which wa sfor the best. And even by later in the season hit has guides to getting a small buisness loan, so they already course corrected. 

So everything’s wrapped up and while Magica berates Lena for disobeying her.. Beakly interputps, thankfully not seeing magica and admits she was wrong and invites Lena for pancakes, even taking a crack about if their actually pancakes or english muffins with syrup, which sounds like my own living hell, in stride, having clearly grown. And Lena explains to Magica that this was the better approach: now she’s got the in theyw anted, and is above suspcison for now. Still not so much that an obvious act won’t be detected but enough that she dosen’t ahve to work actively around her anymore. Magica scoffs.. and while part of it is probably rage.. part of it is deep down both of them know she did it out of defiance.. and only Lena knows that she did it for the right reasons... she just dosen’t get why. She probably justifies it as playing the long game.. but deep down she knows something’s changing about her.. and she’s not sure if that’s a godo thing or not. 

Final Thoughts: This episode is as you can tell a mixed bag. It’s 2/3 of a good episode, with the Lena plot, my issues aside, being excellent and the Terra-Firmian plot likewise fun, even if Huey can get grating the payoff is worth it, and the jokes are really high quality. It’s just bogged down by that fucking launchpad plot that just crushed my soul in it’s palms every time it came back. I went on at length why i hated that one but boy oh boy was the hate of that subplot warranted and I stand by calling it the worst plot of the series. It is: it’s not funny, it makes no goddamn sense, and it drags down what’s otherwise a pretty solid epsiode.

Next Time on Lena: Jaws the shark, lurking in the dark, in the depths of the bin one day of a lark decides to get rowdy, get real violent takes a vacay out to Duckburg er.. Island.. also Scrooge faces his greatest Nemesis.. a PR Tour to clean up his image after an unfortunate giant Beanstalk Incident. Be there and be hip to be square. 

Next Time on This Blog: I Tackle a DCOM for the first time for another commissioned review as we take a look at racisim, specifically Apartheid and breaking indoctrination, with The Color of Friendship. See you next Rainbow. 

[doubleshotofsomething]

Come Into My Life

This is my entry for @nekoannie-chan​‘s writing challenge. Congratulations on 500followers :D! Thank you so much for letting me participate!

This is a series. The remaining parts will be posted throughout the day. It is a Thor fanfic with a song prompt “Entra en mi Vida” (its a beautiful song, i highly recommend).

Song Prompt: Entra en mi Vida by Sin Bandera 

Warnings: swearing, like a lot of it. Mentions of human experimentation. that’s it?? Also, people are idiots here, folks. bare with me.

Summary: You live in a world where soulmates don’t exist. Like, at all. All that meant to be, fate has chosen nonsense? Not real. Literal, actual, from-the-TV-screen fairytale. So... why is the God of Thunder convinced that you’re his?

Part One: Entra en mi vida, te abro la puerta

"So—" You clear your throat, throwing yourself onto the only empty seat, "—all jokes aside, guys. What the fuck!"

Everyone blinks at you, drinks in their hands and confusion all over their faces.

You stare back at them, completely dismissing the new sets of eyes staring at you. "No, seriously, like what the fuck?" You reiterate. "Like, no guys, this fuck needs an answer. What the fuck."

"Are we supposed to know what this fuck is?" Ghost asks, the first among the group of five to surpass her confusion. "Because I have a what the fuck for that what the fuck."

You reach over to grab her drink and she – having been used to your antics after three years of friendship – moves it closer for you to grab. You take a sip, let the taste of her chamomile tea settle on your tongue, blanch and give it back.

"So, you know how the Avengers got their asses whipped after they pulled a deadbeat dad, right?" You make grabby hands towards Hope's drink, and she – just like Ghost – pushes it over to you.

"Careful," she grimaces, "it has a kick to it."

"So did Thanos," You mumble as you take a sip of her drink. The espresso sits heavily on your tongue and you swear you can feel it stain your teeth. "What the actual fuck, Hope? What is this? And why does it not have sugar?"

She chooses to roll her eyes at you and mimic the remaining two new faces by staying quiet. Her eyes narrow at you in warning.

"Don't get a tude with me, missy—" You wag your finger at her, “—you're the one that MIA'd for five years without a return address and pissed off the Feds. Like, seriously, what the fuck guys? We had plans and everything! Why the fuck would you leave me alone for that long? You know how I get when I'm not forced to socialise!"

Ghost snorts. "Don't be a baby."

Pouting, because you’re very mature, you feign a sniffle and stick your tongue out at her. "Weeeeeh."

The dude with the annoyingly short blond hair snorts, consequently gaining your attention, and tries to hide his smile with his cup.

"You're new," you narrow your eyes at him. "Why are you new? And why do you look like the dude that owes me 12K for wrecking my car?"

"Oh my god—" Ghost grumbles in the background, "—not this again."

"I have bills and crippling debts and things that need to be paid for, Ghost!"

"You're a trust fund baby, you shithead!" She argues. "You don't know what crippling debt looks like!"

"You don't know that! My investment portfolio has been crumbling since the stock market crashed last year due to the recession."

Sam grins cheekily at you. "You have no idea what you just said, do you?"

Huffing and puffing, all you can say is. "Let's go back to the what the fuck that needs to be discussed." You glare at him pointedly, "then maybe, we can discuss why you're still here and why you came back from ashes."

"I know you missed me, cupcake." The evil bastard reaches over and pinches your cheek.

"I miss dancing on your grave," You try to swat his hand away, "now, thanks to your selfishness, I need a new dance floor. Very rude of you to not stay dead."

"You're adorable."

"As I was whatting the fucks," You turn back to Hope and Ghost, "when the fuck did my life become Thor versus Thanos, and why am I the Thor without the hammer to fight Thanos?"

"Is that your what the fuck?"  Ghost frowns.

It's her turn to get glared at. "Don't act like you haven't seen the footage. You know exactly how badly Thor got yeeted off his high horse. I'm only regretful that Captain Wrecking Ball wasn't knocked off his."

"You know he's over here, right?" Hope, ever the oblivious one to your obvious jabs, points at the dude that wrecked your car.

"Yeah, unlike my car and the check he has yet to hand over but hey—" lifting up the cup of espresso, you grin at her "—when life gives you lemons."

"I'm still confused and offended about the Thanos reference." Sam, the gift from the bad side of Pandora's box, begins. "What do we have to do with your life?"

"What does pulling a deadbeat dad mean?" The other new dude asks, his face is both the definition of confused and annoyed. "And what does it have to do with the Avengers?"

You frown. "Now I'm confused—"

"Oh no—" Ghost grimaces.

"—Why do you look like the dude from Gossip Girl but also like the dude on the UN's wanted poster of 20something?" You turn to Sam for assistance. "Doesn't he look like that old geezer from the museum?"

Sam grins, leans back in his seat to take a proper look at the manbun dude. Your table is the round one placed at the corner – the irony – and, until recently, it has always been occupied by the four of you. That was before they decided to ghost you for half a decade.

 "Now that you mention it—"

"Oh, fuck off." Manbun snaps at Sam, and you swear you've never fallen in love faster in your entire life than you have in that moment.

Your grin is wide and shit-eating as you put the cup down. You extend your hand to Manbun and wiggle your freshly painted — somehow chapped – fingers.

"I'd tell you my name but it's better if you just called me sweetheart," You’re still grinning. "What's your sign and what time can you pick me up?"

He blinks at you, still confused, and frowns at your hand. Slowly, because you’re a patient girl, you lean over and pry his left hand away from his cup. You place your palm in his and wrap your fingers around each other.

"I'd ask for your name but I think I'll settle for calling you babe," You shake his hand, and then place it back on the cup. "Or hun. I'd call you handsome, but that's too tacky and we—” You point between the both of you, " – don't do tacky."

You sit back in your seat and glance at Sam. "Well... Most of the time anyway."

At this, the rest of your life flashes you a grin. "How does eight o'clock sound?"

"It sounds like a recipe for disaster." Ghost cuts in, narrowing her eyes at you. "Back off, shithead. You've hurt enough of my coworkers"

Jaw dropping and shock feigning, you gasp. "How is that my fault?"

"Is that joke?" Ghost frowns, "because I feel like it's a joke. Three incidences with the analysts and five tech support team make it look like a joke."

You scoff at that. "Look, if your little back up boys can't handle the essence of a real woman, then that's not my fault." Confidently – and silently annoyed – you also add. "Plus, I actually did SHIELD, or whatever ridiculous name you're calling the remake of a failed organisation, a favour. If your boys behind the boys in spandex can't handle being told off by a 'mouse' as they call us, then they shouldn't be behind the dude that wrecked my car.

 "But now that I've said that out loud—" You pause, "—I finally understand why the Avengers are so bad at their job. I mean, with such poor support systems, it's no wonder boy blue and red uses cars as a landing mechanism. It's almost as if he's never heard of a parachute."

There's a pregnant pause as you pretend to ponder the situation. The new dude with the blond hair has visibly turned red and is shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Manbun has a very permanent looking frown smeared all over his face and you’re pretty sure you've just ruined whatever chances you had of giving him children. And Sam, because he's Sam and is patiently waiting his turn to roast you, has the biggest shit-eating grin on his face.

Ghost pretends to scowl at you, even though you’re pretty sure she's already drawing up the schematics for the pedestal she's about to build for you. Hope, because she's Hope and has first-hand experience of dealing with spoilt little brats that use creative antics to slowly drive people away, decides to use that exact moment to sigh and expose you.

"Hey sweetheart," she begins in that voice of betrayal. "Can you, like, not be an antisocial, territorial pain in the ass for five minutes and be nice? Stop trying to get our guests to leave with your little mind games, yeah?"

You blink at her. Once, twice. Because the betrayal always takes a few moments to sink in.

"They're not mind games." You retort. "Boy Blue over there did wreck my car. He used it to cushion his fall, because apparently the super-secret organisation that harbours entitled idiots doesn't invest in parachutes."

"But you don't even need that 12K—"

"I didn't ask for the 12k. I just simply pointed out that his reckless behaviour is very costly for those who suffer for it."

"Okay, guys—" Ghost tries to interject, but it's too late. The fire has already started, and Hope and you have never been on the same page when it comes to anything involving the Avengers.

"You're being unreasonable now. You, of all people, should understand that some things are out of our control."

"That doesn't excuse or make the damage done alright. The ruining of people’s livelihoods isn’t a necessary evil for your super heroe'ing righteousness." You point out, eyes narrowed, and teeth bared. "I, of all people, don't understand your defence. Because I don't use the lab that made me as an excuse to get away with the bad shit I do to people. Whether intentionally or not."

"Really? Because you weren't singing that same song when you cashed in on all that HYDRA inheritance."

"I am not the people that made me and it's not like I'm vacationing the money away. Or have you forgotten about that harbour I had to fix because your boyfriend decided to grow a few sizes?"

"Oh, how could I forget? It's not like you rub it in his face every time he tries to so much as even say hi to you."

"People should be held accountable for their actions. Excuse me for exercising my fifth amendment because I don't think communicating with the guy that turned your dad into a fugitive by siding with the anti-accords gang is cool!"

"That accords was messed and you know it!"

“Yeah, but I didn’t go around trying to be a vigilante about it!”

"Just admit that your stance for the accords is only because you need the government's protection against ex-Hydra agents."

She hit a cord and she knows it. "You're treading on very thin ice, Hope."

 "Scared they might come back and finish what they started? Now that Pierce and Rumlow are gone, there's nothing stopping them from finishing what they started, is there?"

"You know," You sigh, reaching for Ghost's drink and taking a sip. "At least, I don't have to abduct a man from his home, nearly ruin his chances at freedom, risk his life numerous times for my personal gain, just cause I have a theory about my mom's whereabouts. And then—" You let out a condescending laugh at the thought, "—have the audacity to look him in the eye and call it love. Because, ya know, turning a guy into a science experiment and berating him for doing what he thought was right is so romantic."

She's turning red. You can see it before it actually happens and there is a sick sense of pleasure coursing through your veins at the thought. At the fact that you’re the one pressing all the buttons.

Boy, are you fucked up.

"Damn." Sam mumbles, then chortles, then belts out a laugh. "Shit. Who pissed in your gourmet breakfast?"

"People," You scowl at him. “Fucking people. Because, now call me a bitch if you insist, I don't remember telling management to sign a deal with SHIELD."

"What the fuck?" Ghost, ever so caring, contributes to your bewilderment and pissy mood.

You nod frantically at her. "Exactly! What the fuck! Do you see why I needed you guys so bad? Like, it's like the creation of the Strike Force all over again!"

"Hold on—" Captain Damage Ball cuts in. "—I'm confused. What exactly is going on and what does SHIELD have to do with it?"

"Oh boy. Germany, here we go again—"

"Don't be an asshole, shithead."

 --

 When SHIELD fell and Black Widow released all those classified documents to the public, your existence was made known to the public. It turned out that running a terrorist cell inside a super-secret organisation wasn't the only thing Pierce had hidden from the world. You were.

You were supposed to be an experiment. Another volunteer, like the Twins, for Hydra's ultimate plan. Another Bucky Barnes, but without the constant torture to keep you mindless and loyal.

 You were supposed to be the next generation. The Rumlow that wouldn't need force and violence to get the job done. That was the requirement. Those were the orders. That's what you were supposed to be.

Instead, somewhere deep in the dark, cold corners of an abandoned Hydra lab, the inhumane attempt of creating Winter Soldiers through 'natural means' had taken place.

The surrogates were all volunteers, the scientist claimed.

The procedure was necessary for the mission, the doctor explained.

This is the only way forward, the master mind behind that plan argued.

Rumlow took care of the agents himself. Pierce burned down that lab himself. And, out of all the children born, you were the only one that lived longer than the rest. The others were unfortunate enough to be experimented on, before Rumlow found out.

Not knowing who to trust, Pierce kept you hidden from the world and Hydra. He never hid the truth from you, nor did Rumlow. They knew that, at some point, those that knew about the lab would eventually find you, and you needed to be prepared for when they did.

When SHIELD fell, the paper trail that led to your existence was small – miniscule, even – but it was there. Sam found it, but he kept you a secret as well until you were ready for the whole world to know.

But the world wasn't waiting for you to be ready. It wasn't that patient, nor kind. Because, with everything out in the open, chaos ensued, and you were still – at the end of the day – the next generation. All those assets couldn't remain frozen forever and all those lives that were ruined by Hydra couldn't remain unaided.

So, you had to step out and – begrudgingly – announce your existence to the world. Put a huge target on your back and claim the inheritance that Pierce had unwittingly left you.

"I'm gonna go piss off alot of bad people—" You had said to Sam over the phone, right before your News Interview. "What do you think I should start with?"

He wasn't having any of it. "Did you just wait for me to leave the country so you could do something stupid?"

"Of course not, I'm not you—" You scoffed, checking your outfit again. "—I hired a hacker to fake a series of cyber-attacks. Then I asked that girl, you know – the one that could walk through walls, to freak a bunch of people out. So, you know, it could be an Avenger level threat, but not the kind that needed Captain Spandex, so they'd send you. Then I scheduled the interview for the night of the supposed attack, because I knew you'd be gone—"

"Are you kidding me, Y/N— Clint, turn this thing around now!"

"—So, I was thinking I show up on stage and say 'the law says I can take all those assets and I'm gonna use them to do the exact opposite of what my ex-bosses would've wanted'. How does that sound?"

"Do me a favour. Don't move. I wanna kill you myself."

You grinned. "I knew you'd love it."

--

Next Part

TAGS: @nekoannie-chan​ , @thorfanficwriter​

[usualsuspectsfinalproject]

The Usual Suspects (1995) Final Project

COM 323: Films of the 1990s

Introductory Video

The Usual Suspects (1995) Trailer

Production

The first inkling of The Usual Suspects film came to director Bryan Singer as he read an article in the magazine known simply as Spy. It was a passage regarding the famous 1942 film Casablanca in which the character of Louis Renault says that they need to, “round up the usual suspects.”

With a title now in mind, Singer and his screenplay writer Christopher McQuarrie could get to work. The screenplay for The Usual Suspects took McQuarrie around five months to create. He had used elements of one of his previous, not published works to forge the story. McQuarrie combined several real-world elements into the film’s screenplay including the true crime story of John List who killed his entire family then took on a new identity for some 20 years until he was caught. According to an article from The Guardian, “A lot of the inspiration for Keyser Söze, the villain, came from the character of Yuri in the 1980s thriller No Way Out – a spy within the Pentagon who may or may not exist.” The name “Keyser Söze” is based on one of McQuarrie’s previous coworker’s name, Kayser Sume. When trying to adjust Sume’s surname, McQuarrie used a friend’s Turkish dictionary to discover the word “söze,” which means “talks too much,” which, in hindsight, is hinted at through Roger Kint’s nickname “Verbal” and his self-admission of being talkative. The name origin also potentially explains why Söze is described as "supposedly” Turkish. Similarly, characters mention that Keyser Söze‘s father might be German. His first name Keyser seems to be a reference to the German word “Kaiser” which means “Emperor.”

Once the screenplay had been completed to Singer and McQuarrie’s liking, they began to show it to studios, hoping to find an interested party. However, that turned out to be much harder than anticipated. Despite the excellent writing by McQuarrie, the vacancy of the cast and non-linear storytelling elements scared off most studios. The film’s rough start is described in “Usual Suspects, Unusual Devices,” by Martin Barker and Thomas Austin. The journal article reads, “It almost didn’t get made. Its director Bryan Singer and writer McQuarrie tried 130 film financiers before finally cutting a deal with two European sources. Even then, the deal almost fell apart just days before filming was due to start, when one backer withdrew. Finally, a recut of the distribution and video rights brought in combined finance from Polygram and Spelling International.” So, they finally found some hope in Europe with the PolyGram film company, though the actors were going to have to be paid significantly less than their usual fees. The actors which they cast were okay with the lower pay, however, as they wanted the opportunity to not only work with Singer’s direction and McQuarrie’s script but also the other actors involved. In fact, in 1993, Kevin Spacey had met Bryan Singer and told him that he wanted to act in Singer’s next production.

The Main Cast - “The Lineup”

When the film began production, the budget was set at five and a half million dollars. Perhaps due to funding or other factors, there were only three shooting locations for the entire film. These were the cities of Los Angeles, New York City and San Pedro, CA. The film was shot in only 35 days, which is quite short compared to other films. Although it would seem the most prominent issue for the film would be the lack of financial backing, it turned out to be the actors themselves. Director Bryan Singer could not keep his main five actors in character, especially when they were all together like the famous “lineup” scene. Several scenes would take much longer than expected to film due to the actors being unable to stay in character because they would laugh with one another. In the final take of this scene, the characters are seen giggling, this is partially purposeful to show their camaraderie but much of it was the actor’s genuine laughter, particularly during Fenster’s delivery of the line.

The Usual Suspects (1995) “Lineup” Scene

Another less humorous issue that plagued the shoots was the size of filming locations. They had to film in many confined areas which made the job of cinematographer Newton Thomas Sigel all the more interesting. In order to combat this issue of space, he used creative zoom tactics and dolly movements to simulate motion which made the space feel larger. The film wrapped shooting two weeks prior to its estimated date. However, one day Singer had a feeling that the mystery of Keyser Söze was unfinished. He felt that the film needed to convince the audience that Dean Keaton was Söze to up the ante of the twist ending. From this revelation came one of the film’s most crucial and shocking scenes. The sequence is the one at the very end, where Kujan stares at the board whilst past dialogue looms in the background as he pieces together the mystery. I have attached the video clip below:

The Usual Suspects (1995) Ending Scene

Marketing

The advertising campaign for The Usual Suspects started off with an unusual issue. The studio executives were worried that audiences would not know how to pronounce “Keyser Söze.” So, they thought a good way to combat this was to create posters and television advertisements which read, “Who is Keyser Söze?”

Though, many people still mispronounced it despite their efforts. The film itself initially aired at the now famous Cannes Film Festival in 1995. Here, it was met with a good reception from both critics and fans. Before it could get its full theatrical debut, it was shown in select screenings in Los Angeles and New York City, two of its filming locations and general movie hotspots. After these showings, it was aired in many theaters around the country and grossed around $23 million, which shattered its small budget numbers.

Reception

Despite successful monetary gains from the film, the critical reception after its full release was less than ideal. Overall, most critics felt the film was either predictable, confusing or only created to give its cast Oscar nominations. Famous film critic for the Chicago-Sun Times, Roger Ebert, gave the film a terrible one and a half stars, writing, “The story builds up to a blinding revelation, which shifts the nature of all that has gone before, and the surprise filled me not with delight but with the feeling that the writer, Christopher McQuarrie, and the director, Bryan Singer, would have been better off unraveling their carefully knit sleeve of fiction and just telling us a story about their characters – those that are real, in any event. I prefer to be amazed by motivation, not manipulation.” Other critics gave it similar ratings like USA Today’s two and a half stars. Though there were some outliers at the time, like reviewers for The Independent and The New York Times who gave it positive reviews. One of these reviews was from Lisa Schwarzbaum of Entertainment Weekly, who wrote, “Dense with plot intricacies, thick with atmosphere, and packed with showy roles for a hip ensemble, The Usual Suspects is fun to watch — a celebration of cool actors having a good time playing sweaty and devious lowlifes.” However, her opinion seemed to be in the minority.

Fast forwarding to today’s view, the film seems to have had a shift in opinion. The three most popular film reviewing sites, IMDb, Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic gave it an 8.5, 89% and a 77, respectively. Notably, the audience score on Rotten Tomatoes is a whopping 96%. Clearly, there has been a change of thought towards the 1995 film over the years. Today, the film is included on many lists of “top” films. Some of these lists include top movies of the 1990s, top crime dramas and even best films of all time. Many even cite this film as a “classic” or a “must watch” which is a sign of remarkably high praise. Some of the more well-known lists it has made were curated by the American Film Institute and the Writers Guild of America. Not to mention, the film has won numerous awards, even back in the 1990s. Some of the most notable awards being McQuarrie’s wins for Best Original Screenplay at the Academy Awards, the BAFTAs and the Independent Spirit Awards. Along with Kevin Spacey’s win for Best Supporting Actor also at the Academy Awards among many others for the cast and crew alike. So, even if the critics did not seem too keen on the film back in ��95, there still were many who supported it enough for them to score such high accolades.

Since the film’s release in 1995, it has found its way into different areas of popular culture through references, homages and other nods to the film. In fact, there was even an official remake in Hindi called Chocolate in 2005. But looking beyond this remake, acknowledgements to the film can be seen all over from a monologue by Stephen Colbert to Family Guy cutaways to Key & Peele skits and perhaps most famously in Scary Movie (2000).

Many of these come in the form of citing famous lines from the film or re-hashing crucial scenes such as Kujan’s piecing together Verbal’s fabrications or Verbal’s shift from limping to walking normally. Along with loving references to the film, there has been a bit of controversy as well. Actor Gabriel Byrne, who played Dean Keaton, claimed that the film’s production was temporarily halted due to Kevin Spacey’s inappropriate behavior on set. Byrne stated for The Sunday Times, “I mean, he was kind of a joke in that people would say, ‘That’s Kevin,’ but nobody really understood the depth of his predations. It was only years later that we began to understand that [filming] was closed down for a particular reason and that was because of inappropriate sexual behavior by Spacey.” Director Bryan Singer has since spoken out about Byrne’s claims. He denied the allegations against Spacey. 

The Neo-Noir Genre

The neo-noir genre is defined by Mark Conrad in his work The Philosophy of Neo-noir as, “...any film coming after the classic noir period that contains the noir themes and sensibility.” The genre is a revitalization of the classic film noir, hence the prefix “neo” which means “new.” These films aim to capture a similar essence to the past noir crime films. They maintain similar characteristics in their writing style, cinematographic choices and essential themes. Some of these themes include crime, mystery, twists, paranoia, vengeance and deception. The way in which neo-noir differs from classic noir is seen through its use of updated technology and tackling of more modern societal problems. These films are also defined by the way in which they approach character. In classic noir, the motivations of the criminal or the detective were typically clear. But in neo-noir there is often a blurred sense of the world, where the character’s motivations are unknown or misunderstood and there is no clear division of good and evil as well as reality and fiction.

The way in which The Usual Suspect’s plot unfolds and its conflicts are battled perfectly fits the neo-noir outline. Writer J.P Devine describes the film in an article for Central Maine’s website as, “...a game of chess, a masterpiece full of fake clues, twists and turns that flows from light to shadow and back again. ‘The Usual Suspects,’ as most filmmakers know, rests somewhere near the top of the list of the greatest film noir thriller-capers of all time.” First and most obviously, the baseline of the entire film: crime, criminals and police. These three elements defined the classic noir genre at its core and have continued to define the neo-noir predecessor. Next, the film is based around one central mystery who is “Keyser Söze?” Neo-noir cinema most commonly revolves around questions or figures like these who the viewer and the characters will spend most of the film trying to pinpoint their identity. As the viewer watches Kujan stare at the board after Verbal has left the interrogation, both the character and the audience begin to piece together the fabrication of Verbal. As Verbal is seen shifting from limp to upright walk it all falls into place as the real Söze drives off uninhibited. This moment is exemplifying two examples of neo-noir cinematic patterns, the twist and deception. Verbal has fooled everybody, the viewer included. He has fabricated the perfect story to lead everyone off his trail and onto Keaton’s, who is confirmed dead, which means Söze would be too. As Stanley Orr explains in his, “Postmodernism, ‘Noir’, and ‘The Usual Suspects,” “Throughout the course of the film, Verbal installs himself on the periphery as mere documenter, ‘alone returned to tell the tale.’ Seemingly innocuous, Verbal diverts suspicion by focalizing upon Keyser Soze and Dean Keaton. In the last moments of the film, Verbal leaves Rabin's office under a new aspect: his ‘hand flexes with all the grace and coordination of a sculptor's’ (McQuarrie 120).” He has convinced everybody that he – the talkative, limp-footed “Verbal,” does exist while simultaneously convincing that the mysterious, all-seeing crime boss, Keyser Söze, does not, just like the devil.

Along with the plot and structure of the film fitting the neo-noir genre, so do the characters themselves. In the journal article, “Rounding up ‘The Usual Suspects’: The Comforts of Character and Neo-Noir” by  J.P. Telotte, the author notes, “The Usual Suspects offers an especially telling illustration in this regard, particularly of the impact of character in the neo-noir. It is a film that begins with a mystery and almost literally invites its viewers to play at guessing that mystery, at ferreting out the clues to its narrative and anticipating its twist ending. Moreover, that mystery depends totally on the film's conception and our own orchestrated and convention-driven misconception-of character, a set of reactions that pointedly flies in the face of our anticipation of narrative conservatism and undercuts one sort of pleasure or comfort we have come to expect from our films.” As explained previously, Keyser Söze is a brilliantly written character along with his Jekyll and Hyde-esque counter-part Roger “Verbal” Kint. Both of their motivations seem unclear for most of the film until the twist is revealed. Once they are established as the same character, many of the the motivations for Söze fall into place such as his paranoia that the man on the boat was going to expose him. Hence why he sent the criminals on a wild chase for some non-existent drugs on the ship. He wanted that man to be dealt with without the “lineup” knowing exactly why.

Also, the conflict between good and evil can be seen through both Söze and Keaton. Keaton’s struggle is more obvious and active throughout the film. He wants to escape the life of crime and live a morally and legally “good” life with his girlfriend, however, he finds it difficult to fully separate. Over and over he tries but he keeps being pulled right back. He cannot create true division between the good and the evil within himself. Similarly, after Verbal is revealed as Keyser Söze, this conflict comes over the audience. Initially, one feels themselves almost inclined to tip their cap to Verbal for his performance. Despite knowing the crimes he has committed, the viewer cannot fully write off Söze, he tows the line between likeable and truly evil in the minds of the viewer. The way in which the audience finds turmoil in supporting or disdaining his character is comparable to how readers feel about Satan in John Milton’s epic Paradise Lost. Something draws the audience into these characters despite or perhaps because of their wicked ways. In “Usual Suspects, Unusual Devices,” Martin Barker and Thomas Austin explain that, “The Usual Suspects rewards its viewers with the pleasures of unpacking its cleverness, and at the same time it rewards us by enabling us to demonstrate (to ourselves, to film-going friends) our cleverness in deciphering its deceits. It rewards with frissons of delighted shock the terror of a conspiratorial view of the Underworld: an attractive/dangerous stock of appalling characters. It rewards us if we are willing to play with the notion that authority is a mixture of inept and corrupt – but that corruption may be as nothing in the face of an awesome corruption so demonic that the petty authorities who think they run things are just self-deceivers.” His character is the encapsulation of the neo-noir genre’s blurring and bending of right and wrong, of good and evil, of reality and fiction. He lives his life miles ahead of those who wish to unravel his mystery. By the time anyone can wrap their head around his deceit, it is too late because, in devilish fashion, like that... he’s gone.

Works Cited

Derschowitz, Jessica. “What Critics Thought of 'The Usual Suspects' When It Came out 20 Years Ago.” EW.com, 16 Aug. 2015, ew.com/article/2015/08/16/usual-suspects-20th-anniversary-reviews/.

Telotte, J. P. “Rounding up ‘The Usual Suspects’: The Comforts of Character and Neo-Noir.”Film Quarterly, vol. 51, no. 4, 1998, pp. 12–20. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/1213240. Accessed 28 June 2020.

Ebert, Roger. “Ebert's Most Hated: Roger Ebert: Roger Ebert.” Roger Ebert | Roger Ebert, www.rogerebert.com/roger-ebert/eberts-most-hated.

Ebert, Roger. “The Usual Suspects Movie Review (1995): Roger Ebert.” Movie Review (1995) |  Roger Ebert, www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-usual-suspects-1995.

Gelly, Christophe. “The Usual Suspects or the Potency of Falsity.” Mise Au Point. Cahiers De L'association Française Des Enseignants Et Chercheurs En Cinéma Et Audiovisuel, Association Française Des Enseignants Et Chercheurs En Cinéma Et Audiovisuel, 1 Apr. 2014, journals.openedition.org/map/1646?lang=en.

Hoad, Phil. How We Made The Usual Suspects. 4 Jan. 2016,             www.theguardian.com/culture/2016/jan/04/how-we-made-the-usual-suspects-bryan-singer-gabriel-byrne

Schwarzbaum, Lisa. “The Usual Suspects.” EW.com, 25 Aug. 1995,           ew.com/article/1995/08/25/usual-suspects/.

Sharf, Zack. “'The Usual Suspects' Reportedly Stopped Filming Due to Kevin Spacey's 'Sexually Inappropriate Behavior’.” IndieWire, IndieWire, 5 Dec. 2017,  www.indiewire.com/2017/12/usual-suspects-kevin-spacey-sexual-misconduct-bryan-singer-1201904039/.

Travers, Peter. “The Usual Suspects.” Rolling Stone, Rolling Stone, 25 June 2018, www.rollingstone.com/movies/movie-reviews/the-usual-suspects-93781/.

“The Usual Suspects (1995).” Rotten Tomatoes, www.rottentomatoes.com/m/usual_suspects.

[lastoneout]

So I keep telling myself I’m not gonna talk about this anymore but it’s late and I’m salty and I figure this would be a good learning opportunity for everyone anyway so whatever. 

I keep seeing people commenting on how the Delpad Week prompt list getting stolen and vandalized doesn’t count as art theft because I guess technically I didn’t “draw” anything while making it. And I feel like this is coming down to people just not understanding the work that goes into graphic design? (I mean I assume some of it is just people wanting to make excuses for doing something horrible but w/e I had my panic attacks I’m over it.) So since we do live in an age where people still devalue graphic design and other computer-based art forms I thought would break down all of the steps that I took when designing the prompt list, as well as the icons and banners for Delpad Week. 

(And as a quick disclaimer there were probably easier ways to do some of the things I’m gonna list but I am still learning and I had never really used Clip Studio Paint before. I am an amateur, be patient with me.)

Step One - Picking Fonts!

Now this one might have come down to me just being picky, but I had a pretty clear idea in my head of what I wanted the “logo” to look like so after opening Clip and determining that NONE of the default fonts came anywhere close to what I was looking for I went to dafont.com and spent like...god I want to say close to an hour browsing the free fonts until I found a 5-10 options I liked.

I then had to extract and install all of the files onto my pc and make sure they worked, which is easy, but still took time.

Then I typed out what I wanted the logo to say using all of the different fonts to see what they looked like and what they looked like next to each other. See it’s a good idea to compliment fancy serif fonts with simple sans serif ones so I needed to pick a fancy one for the “Delpad Week” text and then a simple one for the prompts and dates and such.

Step Two - COLORS!

After I picked the two fonts I wanted to use I had to pick out the colors for the poster and the text. I took the colors for the “Delpad Week” logo itself from a pic of the Sun Chaser/Cloud Slayer I found, both the usual red and then the darker shadow. Which, once again, there HAS to be an easier way to do this but I typed the words out twice in both colors and painstakingly layered them over each other in just the right way to get the “drop shadow” effect I wanted. 

Then I picked a nice light black for the rest of the text that I think I took from the line art on a screen cap I found? Either way it looked better than true black. And took time to find.

And of course I needed to find a good blue for the background which took a bit cuz it needed to match everything else.

Step Three - Sizing! 

I had to look up all of the different recommended photo dimensions for tumblr and twitter icons, headers, posts, ect to make sure the damn things wouldn’t look wonky once I uploaded them.

Oh and since Clip is weird I did actually have to do that typing/layering thing on EACH NEW PICTURE I made. Which making sure they all looked the same sure was FUCKING HARD and took hours!

And my friend took the time to make the transparent Della and LP for the banners and I had to resize and center them on each pic. And I had to find and size/position the clouds and transparent Sun Chaser/Cloud Slayer too. 

Step 4 - Putting It All Together!

Imo this one is the hardest since Clip doesn’t have alignment tools and even if it did sometimes due to fonts and art and such being the way they are true center doesn’t actually LOOK centered to the human eye so there’s a lot of fiddling around with the text and pics to make it look as close as possible to center which starts to kinda numb your mind after a while. Lots of taking breaks and coming back to it to make sure it looked okay.

And of course typing all of the prompts out and making sure the fonts actually do look okay and everything is spelled right and spaced correctly. I have dyslexia, I double check spelling, sue me.

So once you finally think that everything looks okay you get to go upload it to different sites to make sure the icons and such don’t look blurry or get cropped weird and then inevitably go back and move everything around again or in some cases remake them entirely(the deviantART icon took like two re-makes to get right) when they do. Shit takes time, yo.

That might not seem like a lot but let me stress that I made the prompt list poster, the tumblr icon and banner, the twitter icon and banner, the deviantART club icon, and the other banners for things like updates and such. Which all and all took the better part of TWO FUCKING DAYS. 

And that’s not even mentioning the time it took to find a good tumblr theme and set it up and put together the DA club and the twitter account, as well as documenting all of the prompt suggestions and making sure I picked ones that were vague enough to allow for creativity as well as represented what everyone wanted, plus deciding on/writing out all of the rules including the ones for different sites. All of which, aside from some help here and there from friends, I did by myself. For free.

I’m not complaining. I am having a blast running Delpad Week, and making all of this was frustrating but fun. I love graphic design, I wanted to do my best, hell I even got input from my godfather who is a graphic designer on some of the banners just to make sure everything was as high a quality as it could be. And you know what? I was really, really proud of that prompt list. I have been stuck at home disabled for about a year now in awful pain most of the time and only just getting back into drawing and graphic design and I was super happy with how everything came out. I wanted people to see it, I wanted to give Delpad fans a beautiful blog and prompt list to look at after everything we have been through. And not to toot my own horn but I think I delivered. 

So considering all of that you can see why having someone steal the banner, deface it with horrible and triggering content was so horribly upsetting to me. Aside from how defacing something a queer woman worked hard on with words like “burning a pride flag” is abhorrent and drove me to tears and panic attacks, how would you guys feel if someone took something you worked on for two days and shat all over it for a cheap joke? Especially when the only thing you did wrong was want to give a good, cute ship some attention. 

Graphic Design is an art. Taking someone’s unique design, vandalizing it, and then reposting it IS ART THEFT. Just because it took you 10 minutes to open the pic up, color over the original text and use a crappy font to add in your own prompts doesn’t mean making the thing in the first place was that easy. (And again, I’m not complaining about the time and the work. I’m having fun. I love graphic design. If I didn’t want to do this I wouldn’t have.)

But anyway, like I said, I’m trying to not let it bother me anymore. People have apologized and that’s good. But hopefully this breakdown can help you guys appreciate the work that goes into graphic design and be a bit more courteous to the people who do that work, especially for free. 

[collisionary]

Wrestlemania Axxess

I got a nice amount of likes on my post about this so i’m gonna do it.

I didn’t know what to expect walking into axxess. i assumed it would be a lot of waiting in line and a lot of things you needed to spend money to do but it wasn’t.

first of all, my ticket was 55 dollars. i went to the axxess at 8 am the day of mania, and i was expecting it to be a little more crazy than it was. entry was super fast and smooth considering the amount of people there. we waited in line in a tent-like thing outside of the venue for a while and as soon as it hit 8 am they were leading people in. we went down this hallway where they play videos of wrestling feuds and they have wrestlemania lights all over the place, it kind of feels like a party. you get into the venue to see this huge wall with superstars on it, then they have lines to get your ticket checked. there were enough lines that it moved pretty fast, we didn’t have to wait in line at all.

after our tickets were checked there was a gigantic box of bootyos. huge. it was amazing. and in front of it was some new day stuff. to the right was the legends room where they have the bronze statues and the hand comparison table for andre the giant. in that room they had old wrestlemania gear on display with little snippets telling you who it was for and when. in the back they had memorabilia from the 2019 hall of fame class. in the middle of that room they had a replica stage from the first wrestlemania that you were allowed to take pictures in. that line went quick as well, they had someone standing at the front to take your phone, take your picture and send you on your way.

going into the superstar part of axxess is a little overwhelming. there’s barriers and stuff everywhere. it takes a little bit to actually see which superstars are where. at the start of each section there was a tv screen saying who was at that station and until when. we got into line for pictures with zack ryder, kane, and the ascension and in that line they had colin jost’s destroyed car he gave to braun strowman that you could look at and sit in the ripped out seat. while you’re waiting in that line there’s an exhibit where you can choose a superstar’s music and background and they record you remaking that superstars entrance on a professional camera and you get the video. it was cool seeing all the little kids pretend to be the superstars.

when we got to the front of that line i was super surprised at how well pictures were set up. they had staff to take your jackets or bags or whatever you didn’t want in the picture. i went in and zack asked about my day and if i was excited for mania. they take the picture, hand you your stuff and give you a receipt and you go to the next guy, who was kane. the receipts are so you can go online to download your photos with the stars for free, which was cool because before it seemed like you’d have to buy the pictures after they were taken.

after that we went into a different section where dean ambrose was signing stuff for vip ticket holders, but even if you don’t have vip, its cool because you can still see him. another photo op center was set up with 2 individual superstars and a tag team, at the time it was alicia fox, ron simmons, and gallows and anderson. sami zayn was taking pictures there afterwards. in that same room they had the ring set up and they had an NXT royal rumble which was super good. roderick strong won. also in that room they had a mini wrestlemania store, and a “champ yourself” station where they’d take a photo of you with your choice of a championship. that was super cool but the pictures didn’t come out great.

the superstore was kind of underwhelming and they ask you to fill out this super long survey at the end. the event ran until 12 but we left at 11 because we did everything we had done. we left and waited outside for a lyft and roderick strong and brian kendrick were sitting out there with us talking to people and waiting for a ride.

the superstars there that i can remember were those previously mentioned, ivory, harper, ricky steamboat, the bella twins, ruby riott and scott hall. there were more but each station had like 3 people and changed halfway through, and probably 4 public stations and 1 station for VIP (ambrose 8-10am and the bellas 10-12). throughout the entire venue there’s standees of a ton of superstars you can take pictures with.

you get to talk a little bit to the superstars and take your picture and they’re super high quality. here’s an example:

the champ yourself i was talking about earlier with the not-so-great quality came out like this:

they also had these large posters for past PPVs everywhere. it was honestly set up really well and interestingly. 10/10 would recommend, its a good experience and isn’t TOO expensive. the venue was nice too because you could see the new york city skyline and the statue of liberty while you’re walking in or to and from rooms, though i can’t say that’s the same for every venue.

all in all it had a lot more than i expected and it was a really good experience, though i would pay attention to which superstars are at which axxess if you want to see someone specific because they’re obviously not all at each one.

please don’t mind my face, i just wanted you guys to get a feel for what the quality of the photos are.

[aquillis-main]

Five Plus One in BOOM: Or, “How to Deal with a Newly Turned Vampire” 3

This one was hard to do -- mainly because I’ve never written Rouge seriously before. Hopefully, I did her well.

On AO3.

On Fanfiction.net.

On DeviantArt.

 Rouge wasn’t a big practitioner in the whole belief system her people believed in – the constant cycle of rebirth and death as the great Goddess of Life places them back into the world, remaking their bodies from the ground up. In fact, the bat felt it was a silly little fairy-tale about how the world worked to her – meant to teach little children that they’d turn into something ugly if they didn’t listen to their momma’s.

Heh. Ugly. Like bats were ever considered that, once.

Once upon a time, family was never something that Rouge found to be in her vocabulary – since becoming a gem thief, her entire coven ended up dumping her once she got too invested in the gems she took – fearing their safety over hers. She didn’t mind then, not when the government picked her up not a few minutes later to take her in as their anthron spy. She didn’t mind the job – being paid in jewels helps a lot – but it was always a professional thing; no relationships, no friendships, no nothing. Kind of boring for an eighteen-year-old woman to be near. Ah well, beggars can’t be choosers.

Rouge knew at some point that she’d be leaving the little group Knuckles and his pals had made when they first fought against Eggman’s robots. But, over time and several misadventures with them, the bat found it hard to consider the thought of leaving the group. It was… not right to her, having lived so long without love. Was she developing something for this little rag-tag group? Rouge certainly hoped not, but the bat was sure she’d be proven wrong…

After all, was it not nature’s intent to prove her wrong so many times?

If there was any one reason why she stayed, Rouge would point to Knuckles, and the echidna would probably laugh while blushingly agree with the agile bat… but the truth was, Shadow – one of the few ‘acquaintances’ she could truly call a ‘friend’ – had been fixated on the two ‘leaders’ of the Revived Ancients: Sonic the Hedgehog; a boy that Rouge would not care at any moment in her life, but loved to slip into banter with… and the rich human brat that suddenly became a vampire, Ovi Kintobor.

Really, it was the idea of the kid being a reincarnation of an ancient vampire that made her stay… Not just for Knuckles (Though, she admitted that Knuckles was the one to convince her to stay…)

It was night-time at Empire City, and Rouge had been dragged to Ovi’s own ancestral home to stay the night. Each person was given a grand bedroom – a large poster bed lavished in magentas and blues, the room having warm browns to offset the cool tones of the bed. A large window was to the side of it, showing the serenity of the ocean beyond Empire City’s harbour.

Really, Rouge thought it wasn’t posh enough, considering who the owner of the place was.

Rouge was about to fall asleep on the reins of the poster bed – the posts connected to one another – when Ovi himself came in; his sweet smile marred by the large, vampire-bat fangs poking out of his mouth. Wearing an ordinary sleep shirt with a grey pair of sweatpants, the boy looked ready to sleep, only to end up not doing it for one reason. He shuffled anxiously, looking like the cat that pulled all the toilet paper off the roll. Rouge sighed and opened one of her wings to invite Ovi to sleep upside down. When the human got adjusted enough, Rouge finally started to speak to him.

“You know, we really need to get you your own bed.” Rouge yawned, bringing Ovi closer to herself. The boy yawned as well, before bringing himself closer to the bat.

“Nah, they don’t like cuddling like you do.” Ovi muttered, before falling asleep in seconds.

Yes, Rouge thought to herself as she drifted to sleep. Because you can’t stop snuggling like a bat in your sleep.

[purplesurveys]

494

Do you own a pink toaster? No, I don’t. I probably won’t get one either even though I like the color pink. Do you live by yourself? No. I still live with my family at home and would probably live like this until a couple years into my first job when I can afford to move out. Do you shower everyday? If I have to be in school, yes. But on my off days I let myself skip a day. Is English your native language? No. I was raised in a Filipino-speaking home, so I learned English in school, by reading, or from cartoons. Do you like cleaning? If it doesn’t feel like a chore.

Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? Do you hear any music now? Nope, I just hear my really loud aircon. Do you watch PewDiePie? He’s my go-to channel when I’m upset and need lots of cheering up, but right now I’m not as updated with his material. Are you married? Nope, that’s quite a long way from here my friend hahaha. Do you like Despacito? I never really liked songs I couldn’t understand. Do you drink coffee? As much as I can. It’s my bloodstream. Do you know any Swedish words? Only cuss words because PewDiePie used to swear in Swedish in his old videos lmfao. He did also use to say “sluta,” which I think he translated to “stop” or “stop it.” Maybe @badsurveyshit can help me out! Hahaha. Do you play Pokemon Go? Only when it was like crazy popular three years ago. My phone died soon after that and when I got a new one, I couldn’t be bothered to revisit it. Do you think you're fat? No, but I think I’m too thin. Did you ever color your hair pink? I haven’t and I dunno if I would. Do you press Caps Lock or hold Shift for capital letters? I do Caps Lock. I never did get used to just holding Shift. Do you own any pop figures? Nope. But I’ve given it as a gift. All of the possible spaces in my room are just kinda filled up at the moment and I’m not sure if a Funko will stand out here. Do you like Dr. Phil? I like his show, mostly because PewDiePie will sometimes do reaction videos to ridiculous bratty guests from the show. Do you prefer to be inside or outside? Depends on my mood. I can be both, really. Do you drink energy drinks? No. They smell like pure sugar and it’s super sticky and I feel like my body would implode if I drink a bottle lmao. Do you eat meat? Yep. Do you need to do the dishes? Nope. Do you have any posters in your room? I have one. But I also have several frames of Audrey Hepburn and one painting that Gabie bought me me, and another painting that she herself made. How old were you in 2010? I was 12. Are you scared of clowns? I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen one IRL...they always seem to be like a Western media thing. We don’t have circuses or anything like that, and parents don’t usually get clowns for their kids’s parties. Who is your favorite youtuber? Probably Shane Dawson because he’s so goddamn versatile and is great at being it. He’s managed to evolve from comedy skits to watching things explode in the microwave and making giant pumpkin spice milkshakes to explainers for conspiracy theories and alien sightings to casual vlogs to full fucking length documentaries about real-life people and said conspiracies. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? No. I don’t want to have any, I just use my channel so that YouTube knows what material I’m into haha. Do you believe in ghosts? I do. Do you salt your popcorn? Yessssss. The more the better. Do you like McDonalds? I can take it or leave it. They have a really boring menu. Do you have a Steam account? I don’t. Is the sun shining right now? It’s a little cloudy at the moment but I’m sure it’ll peak out in a minute or two. What time is it? 8:59 AM while I’m typing this down. How much battery do you have on your phone? 16%, oops. What device are you using while taking this survey? I’m always on my laptop when taking surveys. Do you brush your teeth everyday? Yes, but I’ll occasionally forget. Do you bite your nails? Only if I’m starting to get increasingly anxious or overwhelmed over something. Do you like gaming? I like *watching* people play (which stems back to my childhood when ALL the boys and men in the house knew how to play video games and it would always be a bonding thing for us), but I can’t figure out video games myself to save my life. What's the first word that comes to your mind if I say: Boop! Hannah Hart. What month is it? It’s already July, what the hell? Do you like reading books? I used to...I think I mostly got disinterested because there was a time when the popular books that kept coming out were all fantasy or dystopian, e.g. Percy Jackson, I Am Number Four, The Hunger Games. By the time the more IRL-based fictional works came out, like the John Green works, reading had already become a little boring for me. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy's? Nope. And I don’t think I would want to lol. Watching people play it is enough. Do you like horror movies? Love them, it used to be my favorite genre until the industry just kept making a bunch of remakes of already-great horror flicks. Is your favorite animal a dog? Yes. Do you have a pet cat? My sister does, but since she’s living in a dorm for college all of us have at home have to take care of her. Do you like chicken nuggets? Meh, I can also take it or leave it. I like chicken fingers better. What color is the ceiling in the room? White. Do you own a car? I drive one, but my parents bought it. What age do you turn on your next birthday? 22. Do you like religion? Not really. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. I used it a whole lot when it was new. Tbh I’d still pass by it sometimes these days if I was in the mood for it to guess what I was thinking. Do you like Grand Theft Auto V? Yes, there’s always something to do on that game haha.

Are you wearing socks right now? I am not, but I probably will later when I head out to school.

Do you have a headache? Not right now. Do you cry a lot? Hahahaha yep, I really do. Can you twerk? I never tried. Do you like dabbing? Nope. Name four things in the room. An electric fan, a pack of microwavable popcorn, a plate of sisig, and a glass of water. Can money buy you happiness? It definitely could. What was the last country you visited? China. Do you like fishing? I’ve never fished before. Do you want to be famous? It’s a nice thought, but I don’t actively want it. Do you have any siblings? Yes. Have you ever been to a funeral? No. I’ve been to wakes though. Do you have a Spotify account? I have my own, but I stopped using the one meant for me because Gabie lets me use her premium account. Have you heard of Blizzard Entertainment? I’ve heard of it, but I don’t know much about them. Do you drink milk? I can’t drink milk. Are you tired? A little bit, yes. Do you like bananas? I don’t like fruits. Are you addicted to anything? Nope. Are you in love? Sure. What's the temperature outside? It looks like it’ll be humid today. Do you like snow? I’ve never seen it. Where are you from? Manila. Would you rather Play, Pause, Rewind, Fast Forward or Stop? Fast forward. Do you know your phone number? ??? Yes I do. What do you think of Fifty Shades of Grey? Never cared for it. Do you swear in front of children? Nope. Is my grammar fine? Sure.

[paradisobound]

I Want It, I Got It: Chapter 5

Summary: Phil Lester was a worker for the BBC in London. Working in the advertising department, he was content being alongside his friend and fellow coworker PJ during every shift. However, the BBC is temporarily being used as a film set for a new movie staring Hollywood ‘It’ star, Daniel Howell. Being stuck as an extra on the set, Phil finds it’s hard to ignore the famous star. And maybe, just maybe, Dan finds it hard to ignore Phil as well.

Word Count:  2k (this chapter)

Warnings: Occasional swearing

Rating: Mature (for right now)

Updates will be every Wednesday and every Sunday

**MASTERLIST | READ ON AO3**

“Aren’t you the least bit nervous?” PJ commented the next day as they walked with Spike in the local park near Phil’s flat.

Dinner the night before had mostly consisted of both Sophie and PJ telling Phil about where he should take Dan around London and so he came up with a comprehensive list saved on his phone. But he still had many worries fueling his brain.

Like what if this was all a mistake? Daniel was a famous celebrities and surely he really didn’t want some pleb like Phil taking him around London. But on top of that, won’t people see them? Won’t this cause some big news scene?

He didn’t really want to do that.

There was a lot of weight on this line and he had to admit that it made him slightly nervous.

“No,” Phil answers eventually, “I am. I’m incredibly nervous.”

“Have you two messaged since last night?”

Phil shook his head. He hadn’t even replied to Daniel last night after he had messaged him last night. He probably should have. He internally winced. Did he already fuck this all up because he didn’t reply to him? He hoped not.

“You’re over thinking already.” PJ commented just as Spike tugged at his leash and Phil looked to see what the pup was doing. He just saw a squirrel and was hoping to chase it but he held the little guy back.

“Well, I didn’t reply back to him. Do you think I could have messed his up already?”

Pj stopped on the path and turned to him, hands in his coat pocket. “You’re really asking me this, Phil? Less than a week ago, you were telling Gemma off about fantasizing about the hunky lad and now look at you. You’re head over heels for the bloke.”

“I’m not head over heels for him.”

Pj cocked his eyebrow. “Really? You’re really saying that right now?”

Phil blushed and continued moving in the direction Spike was pulling him. “Well, he’s seems not to be a bad guy.”

“So you take back what you said before about him being pretentious and rude?”

Phil scoffed. “Well no. I don’t even know him yet.”

“But you know he’s not, though? Or else he wouldn’t have already slid into your dm’s.”

“He didn’t slide into my dm’s.” Phil laughed. “He just messaged me asking for a favor.”

“Oh, and I’m sure that’s what Nick Jonas did with Priyanka Chopra as well.”

“Shut up.” Phil laughed, hitting PJ gently on the side. “This is all a bit ridiculous, isn’t it? Like this feels like we’ve entered an alternate timeline―a whole new dimension.”

“Maybe we did.” PJ commented with a shrug. “But Spike over there is doing his business and I’m sure that we can’t launch that into another dimension.”

Phil rolled his eyes and walked over to Spike, pulling the bags out of his pocket.

Maybe they did fall into a wormhole and enter a new timeline. It sure did feel like it.

He, PJ, and Spike all left the park a short time later. PJ said he was heading back to his flat for the afternoon to work on a BBC assignment he was behind on and Phil figured he might as well get a jumpstart on his next one as well. The BBC had made it clear in yet another email this morning that Phil was not off the hook despite having to reappear to the building.

When he got back to his flat, he let Spike off from his leash and allowed for him to run off to his bed to sleep. He then set down with his laptop on his couch and opened up Illustrator to begin his next assignment. He was to create a new promo poster for the BBC radio one show and since he particularly liked that show, he really wanted to put time into it.

He slowly began to piece together shapes and colors when his phone vibrated against his side and he picked it up out of instinct. On his screen, he had a new Instagram message again. Without even unlocking his phone, he knew already they were from Daniel.

danielhowell: hello its me again! My manager gave me the go ahead to go out in London next Tuesday so are you free then? My bodyguard Joshua will be with us but i promise he’s a soft teddy bear.

danielhowell: I know i said this already but i do appreciate it! I like being able to go out and do normal things but its hard, ya know?

amazingphil: It’s no problem! I don’t mind showing you around London. There is a lot we can do.

danielhowell: I hear! I hope you don’t mind that we’re probs going to be bombarded by people all day. I feel like I should apologize for that in advance...but it kind of comes with the package―me.

danielhowell; that last part wasn’t as funny as i was expecting it to be. I’m sorry lol

Phil had to admit that he snickered. But he still was in complete disbelief that he was messaging back and forth with Daniel Howell.

amazingphil: I kind of figured. I saw some of the speculation on Twitter already.

danielhowell: Ugh I’m sorry. My fans are always speculating about me. It sucks but there is not much i can really do. I’m glad for them and i appreciate them because i wouldn’t be here without them but they can be a pain.

danielhowell: that being said i can tell them to leave you be? I mean, they probably wont listen but it is worth a little bit of a shot?

Phil bit his lip. He couldn’t ask that of Daniel already when there is nothing between them. They’re just talking about London and about Phil showing him around London. That’s all.

amazingphil: I couldn’t ask that of you. They’re not bothering me directly.

danielhowell: well if they ever do, please let me know!

danielhowell: I really mean it. They can be...a lot.

amazingphil: I’m sure i can handle them if need be.

danielhowell: okay mate but don’t say i didn’t warn you

danielhowell: oh, by the way, can we meet somewhere discreet? I want to keep my day as low key as possible and i don’t want fans to follow me to meet you. Do you have any suggestions?

Here was the thing. Phil didn’t know of many locations where any meeting or any sort was going to be discreet. Everything was pretty much out in the open around London unless you were in one of the back alleys where you could be shanked.

amazingphil: sorry, not really. We could meet at the BBC early on? I have a pass to get in so we can meet in there first?

danielhowell: okay. Fingers crossed I don’t get plowed over by fans before then.

amazingphil: #prayfordaniel

#prayfordaniel?? Phil inwardly groaned and covered his face in shame. That was the dumbest thing he could have sent someone like Daniel and now he’d sent it and Dan’s already read it.

He covers his eyes when his phone vibrates again for another message.

danielhowell: not sure that’ll work but it might worry the shit out of my fans lol

Phil found himself smiling really wide. This was nice. In a way, it almost felt like he might have a budding friendship with Daniel. Of course that was probably super silly but there was some place deep inside of himself that gave him hope.

Dan’s next message widened that place.

danielhowell: can i just say another thank you for treating me like a human? I’ve tried talking to other people before and they all freak out or begin to obsessively fangirl and ngl, it gets tiring. really tiring. So i really appreciate this, Phil. it means a lot.

amazingphil: of course, Dan. Why would i treat you any differently?

danielhowell: :)

They stopped messaging not long after which made Phil feel a tad bit sad but he had a feeling this wasn’t going to be the last time he and Dan talk before Tuesday.

He worked on a big portion of the BBC radio one advertisement and then he put his laptop on the charger to take Spike out for the bathroom and then order dinner from the local Domino’s.

By that evening, Phil had settled into bed in a peaceful food coma and was scrolling through his social media feeds again. Dan had posted some tweets in replies to some fans and he wasn’t trending anymore despite trending the entire week for filming and being on set.

But as he went through all of Dan’s tweets, he realized that he actually didn’t know hardly anything about Dan and he should probably look up some information before he meets him and makes a complete fool of himself.

He googles Dan’s name and unsurprisingly, his name comes up automatically with a ton of tabloid reports.

Daniel Howell’s new beau??

Daniel Howell on set in London! Catch the behind the scenes.

Is Daniel Howell filming in London? We have the inside scoop.

Phil found them all laughable and all totally exactly what tabloid magazines do.

He clicked on Dan’s Wikipedia page and decided to skim through it.

“Daniel James Howell, formally known as just Daniel “Dan” Howell, is a Hollywood actor, two time Oscar winner, and four time Emmy Award winner. Howell is best known for his portrayal as Romeo in the 2014 remake of the classic Shakespearean play Romeo and Juliet alongside Jennifer Douglas which earned him his two Emmy’s. His career took off after his role was heavily accepted by critics across all boards, some even naming him the newest A-List star in Hollwood. Since 2014, Howell has worked starred in many new movies such as “One for the Road”, a coming of age story about a group of teenagers in America which earned his first Oscar, and “The Year of Us”, the star studded adaptation of the widely acclaimed novel by Stephanie Barry, which earned him his second Oscar.”

Phil finished that section and sat back. Wow. So Dan has been a popular celebrity for a while. He knew that. He remember how everyone hyped his role for Romeo and Juliet, calling him the next best Romeo after Leo DiCaprio.

But he honestly never paid any other attention to who Dan was or how he gained his stardom so fast.

“Personal Life: Daniel Howell was born on June 11th, 1991 in the small town of Wokingham in the United Kingdom to parents Karen and Joseph Howell. He has a younger brother named Adrian who is a popular YouTuber influencer. Howell began his acting career at just the age of five when he was casted in a production of Les Miserables in his community. After his success in acting, over the course of his youth, his family moved to Los Angeles, California, in hopes of him to gain stardom. Howell starred in his first Hollywood film at the age of 16 but would not become known for his roles until the age of 23.”

Phil thought back to what he was doing at twenty three. Definitely not gaining any stardom, that’s for sure. He was just sitting in Manchester, trying to make ends meet with a crappy job at Starbucks.

“In June of 2014, one year after gaining his fame, Howell announced his battles with anxiety and depression in hopes to become an ambassador for his younger fans. He is an advocate for mental health and the ability for everyone out there to have access to a health care system that will help anyone who is struggling like he was.

In September of 2017, Howell announced that he was bisexual and dating fellow costar Kellen Queen. After less than a year of dating, Howell and Queen announced on social media that they were no longer together. Howell has not been reported to have dated since but Queen is now dating his fellow “Timeless” co-star Helen O’Reilly.”

Phil sat back and processed the information. If he thought back to it, he could vaguely recall the entire break up happening. He remembers the tabloids and the social media frenzy but he never kept up with celebrity news enough to really know what was going on.

But to see where Daniel had come out as bisexual was a lot. Mostly because Phil himself was gay. He tended to keep his romantic life quiet but for some reason, he kind of hoped that Dan would ask him about his sexual orientation so they can have something to talk about.

There was one thing Phil didn’t mind and that was openly talking about his attraction to other men.

He closed out of Wikipedia, deciding he had read enough, and shut off his light. Spike has crawled in beside him sometime while he was reading on wikipedia and now he was curled in his side.

He fell asleep relatively fast, dreaming about Tuesday with Daniel.

[rayofspades]

Everyone in the World Forgot How Remakes and Sequels Work and I Have to Talk About It Because I’m Losing My Mind

I tried very, very hard to make this a coherent and somewhat organized post, but it’s still gonna sound like the ravings of a mad woman, so...prepare yourself.

Also, this isn’t gonna be an analysis of why remakes and sequels are so popular, because it’s exactly as simple as it seems: people like things that make them feel nostalgic and creators have caught on to this and realized that by remaking a familiar property, their new product has a built in fan base.

Great.

What I want to talk about is how the concept of remakes/reboots/sequels/whatever has been kind of destroyed. Both audiences and Hollywood have created these weird perceptions that are flooding the market in a way that is exhausting to audiences and confusing to creators. 

So, I’m here to discuss all the different types of remakes and why they work or don’t work and how this culture has been conditioned to support them regardless of quality.

Alright,

let’s do this.

Part 1: Cross-Media Remakes:

I find it somewhat impossible to criticize the existence to book--> movie remakes too much because they’re a vehicle for both creativity and audience expansion, even in cases where they’re motivated by money. Harry Potter and The Hunger Games made for some pretty solid movies, and that’s largely because those books just translated well to film. Obviously some changes had to be made to account for time constraints and visual storytelling, but they can get away with having a similar structure and still feeling entirely new based on the hard shift in presentation from book to film. 

I would make a similar argument for Marvel movies. From what I understand, those movies change more from their source material, and there are a lot of them, but it makes perfect sense to adapt comic books to reach a wider audience. I feel like the main reason people are becoming tired of Marvel movies is their overwhelming quantity, not so much the fact that they’re remakes. 

I would also love to talk about the popularity of GoT and LotR, but I don’t think I’m familiar enough with those franchises to properly discuss them, so I’ll leave that to someone else.

But there is something else I want to talk about.

While Harry Potter and The Hunger Games translated really well to film, the same isn’t true for some other cross media adaptations. 

Part 2: Adapt or Die:

In the late 70s, Stephen King wrote The Shining. I’ve read the book and I really enjoyed it, largely due to King’s writing style (the prose, the internal monologues, etc.)

The thing is, The Shining doesn’t really translate well into the film format; it’s really long and a lot of what makes it good is tied to its presentation.

So when Stanley Kubrick adapted The Shining into a film in the early 80s, he changed a lot.

Like

a lot.

The setting and characters remain pretty much the same, and the story follows similar beats, but certain events and themes have been drastically altered to the point where I would consider it a different story.

(Brief aside; the three most famous/iconic scenes from the film (”Here’s Johnny!” “All work and no play”, and Jack frozen in the snow) are ALL exclusive to the film.)

Regardless, both the movie and the book have maintained their own popularity with their own audiences. Both are considered good and both are considered classics. 

Although, from what I’ve heard, The Shining film did receive criticism back in the day for being needlessly unpleasant. Interesting. 

It’s a somewhat similar story with John Carpenter. If you ask people to list good remakes, 90% of the time people will list The Thing (1982). It’s practically the poster child for “hey, not all remakes are bad, guys.” 

In this case, Carpenter was working from both a previous movie (The Thing From Another World) and the prior novella (”Who Goes There?”). Carpenter’s film definitely borrows more from the novella, but it was obviously going to be compared more to the previous film, and it is  v e r y different from the previous film. Carpenter’s film (like The Shining) received criticism for how gross and unpleasant it was, but became the definitive version of The Thing and stood the test of time to become a horror classic.

Basically, if you need to change the original product when remaking it, do it. That is the best thing you could possibly do. It gives the creator a chance to actually create their own unique product that just happens to be based on or inspired by an existing property. This is actually a legitimately cool phenomenon; taking preexisting stories and altering them to fit a new cultural context or simply expanding and improving on ideas. It’s a similar concept to “old wives tales” and fairy tales, and how those stories are constantly changed and retold and in doing so become timeless. Gee I wonder if fairy tales are going to come up later in this post.

Part 3: Bad Changes are Bad

*Strums guitar* This one goes out to all audience members out there who have convinced themselves that bad remakes are bad because they’re too different from the original. *Strums guitar*

Stop. 

Please stop.

Look, comparing a remake to an original to showcase how bad the remake is is perfectly valid criticism. It can highlight how an idea can be botched when it’s not handled properly. Sure. That’s fine. I highly encourage people to compare the dialogue, characters, and world building of Avatar: The Last Airbender and M. Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender. It’s important to recognize how one story is an utter fucking masterpiece and one is a poorly told train wreck.

Here’s the thing:

people seem to criticize the film on the basis of “it’s different” and, I mean, sure. But it’s not just that it’s different, it’s that it’s different and....um....

bad? 

Like, one of the “complaints” I saw about the movie was that firebenders now need actual fire in front of them in order to bend it, and I consider that to be just a neutral change. It’s not really better or worse, it’s just different. And please don’t comment on this post with “skflsfjsf NO it’s because in the original firebenders used the SUN as their source of fire” like yeah I know I get it it’s still an inconsequential change.

Now, saying that the earthbenders being held on land as opposed to the sea is a bad change? Yes, that is valid criticism because it makes no goddamn sense within the movie’s universe and just makes everyone look dumb.

That movie is an utter fucking disaster. It’s poorly directed, it’s poorly written, the casting decisions are baffling, the acting is horrible, it’s poorly paced, and it’s bad.

It’s a bad movie.

I would apply the same logic to the new Death Note live action movie (the American one). Putting aside the racial controversy for a minute, I’m fine with changing things about the plot and structure to properly adapt it into a movie. But...yeah. The plot is bad. It just comes across as really dumb and weird.

So yeah, bad remakes are bad, but it’s not as simple as just being “different.”

If y’all keep complaining about remakes making changes, then you’re only encouraging the products I’m about to talk about in the next few Parts.

Arguably the worst and most prolific products of them all...

Part 4: Sometimes, Things That Are the Same.......Are Worse

Alright, I’m gonna start with a really extreme example, but it perfectly captures the essence of what I’m trying to say.

In 1998, Gus Van Sant made the incredibly confusing and brave(?) decision to remake Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. And I do mean “remake,” as in, it is shot for shot the same movie. It’s some sort of bizarre cinematic experiment.

I really like the original movie, so you would assume that, since this movie is literally the same movie, I would like it too.

I don’t.

No one does.

It’s the same movie but with worse performances.

It’s pointless.

Its existence is both unnecessary and confusing. Watching it was a bizarre experience that just made me wish I was watching the original.

(The best part about this is that 15 years after this remake came out, Carlton Cuse and Kerry Ehrin solved remakes forever by making Bates Motel; a contemporary prequel/reimagining of Psycho (1960). This show takes the characters and key events from the Hitchcock film and puts them in a different setting with an altered version of plot points. The creators openly and repeatedly state that they did not want to just remake Psycho and instead wanted to tell a tragedy/thriller using the framework of Psycho. To me, this perfectly encapsulates what remakes are supposed to be. It’s a good show and it’s severely underrated. Please go watch it, just ignore like half of season 3 and you’re gold.)

Unfortunately, the most common and (arguably) the most frustrating type of remake/sequel/reboot/whatever is the “let’s do the same thing...but different” type.  They can be a retread of the original plot or just take the title and elements of the original and use them while adding nothing substantially new.

Independence Day: Resurgence, Alien Covenant, The Thing (2011), and proooobably most direct sequels in any popular franchise (like the Transformers movies) fall under this category. 

The most notable ones in recent years are D i s n e y  r e m a k e s, but those get their own section.

Also, I’m hesitant to talk about these because it might just be a cultural difference, but it deeply bothers me when I see Japanese live action films that are based on anime and they just...keep everything the same? 

Like, in a live action remake of FMA, why the fuck wouldn’t you make up some grotesque and upsetting monster thing for the Nina Tucker scene? Why would you just use the design from the manga/anime??? WHY WOULDN’T YOU ADAPT IT TO MAKE IT WORK FOR LIVE ACTION?????????????????????????????????????

But hey, what do I know. It might just be a culture thing.

From what I’ve gathered and experienced, people have the following problems with these types of overly-faithful and/or pointless remakes:

1) They’re boring because it’s just a retread that feels inferior. 

2) They try to replicate elements of the original without understanding the actual appeal (aka the tangible details are addressed while the underlying ideas get sidelined or misunderstood).

3) They just...don’t adapt well.

Even if we were to take The Last Airbender and give it to a competent director who has a decently written script, that’s a case where you probably should have changed a lot more to properly make the jump from animated show to live action movie. Obviously, a lot of things would need to be cut or moved around in order to properly pace it.

I’m gonna talk more about this type of movie in a different section so for now let’s move on to the most recent remake craze that’s driving me up the wall.

Part 5: “I’ve got the power of remakes and anime on my side”

Fuck.

So part of the appeal of anime for me has always been its creativity. While some of it is pretty derivative when looking at specific genres, I’ve always found there to be a significantly wider range of creative ideas and concepts in anime than in any other medium. 

But now the industry’s running on fumes and someone let it slip that you can make a quick buck by just remaking a popular IP.

Fuck.

And I don’t wanna rag on the new-ish trend of readapting old anime for the sake of following the recently completed manga. This has had unbelievably successful results with FMA:B and Hunter x Hunter (2011) becoming massive critical hits (and two of my favourite shows).

(Although it hasn’t escaped my attention that studios have, in fact, used this gimmick to make half-baked and poorly crafted products with the knowledge that the existing fan base will buy that shit anyways. I’m looking directly at Berserk (2016) and Book of the Atlantic.)

But now they’re also adapting/sequel-ing shows purely for the sake of cashing in on the original (or adapting pre-made sequel products that were already made with that mindset in the first place).

Clear Card was boring as fuck and transparently existed to sell toys. 

I dropped Steins;Gate 0 after around 8 episodes when it become abundantly clear that it took the “let’s take elements of the old plot and just....do stuff” route without keeping any of what made the original cool and unique. 

The Evangelion movies seem really antithetical to the original show, and the third one feels like it was made by someone who thought they understood Evangelion and hated it. (But luckily the original is coming to Netflix next year so who even cares. Give me that 10/10 show.)

Although I will admit, Devilman Crybaby’s existence kind of falls under what I was saying earlier in this post. It’s one of many adaptations of an old manga that is changed substantially to fit the current cultural climate, with some unique aesthetic changes thrown in there for good measure.

It’s pretty okay.

But um...

Oh boy...

We’re about to get into it lads.

Part 6: Production IG Broke My Whole Brain. Brain Broken. Dead. No Brain.

Hooooooooo boy.

So, FLCL (also known as Fooly Cooly) is one of my favourite shows. In fact, it’s the only show I’ve ever watched that I have absolutely no problems with. None. Not even nitpicks. 

I’ve watched it 6 times, including with director’s commentary. It has an utterly perfect and unique/fluid aesthetic and I wish its visuals were just playing in my brain all of the time. It’s an arthouse comedy, which is a...rare (nonexistent?) genre, and it pulls it off perfectly. Its cool, its beautiful, its silly, its poetic, its creative, it has great themes that can reach both teenagers and adults, and there is literally nothing else on the planet like it.

So when it was announced that they were making a sequel 18 years later with a different cast of characters, I was...weirdly excited. Like a pavlovian happy response. I got even more excited after seeing the trailer.

Only a short while before the show aired did it dawn on me.

Wh...what are they doing?

From the trailer, I could see that they were taking some familiar plot elements (Medical Mechanica, Haruko, N.O., Atomsk, etc.) and adding some different protagonists.

Um

who gives a single fuck about the plot of Fooly Cooly?

The plot elements...don’t matter. It’s just a vehicle for cool and amazing things to happen.

So the show came out, and I saw more clips on youtube. While it is cool that they’re using different episode directors with some different art styles, the difference in quality between the directing and overall visual presentation is shockingly noticeable. I partially blame the fact that the anime industry isn’t as financially stable as it used to be, but this is also a Production IG show that’s based on an extremely popular property, so that’s barely an excuse. 

It mostly just looks like an anime with some cool stylistic elements, whereas the original looks stunningly perfect, dynamic, unique, and beautiful in every single solitary shot. 

I’ve read and watched many reviews of the sequel, both positive and negative, and from what I can tell it’s a textbook example of a “lets take components of the original and just...use them...while kind of missing the point and appeal of the original show.” Fooly Cooly is made of 100% intangible details. That thing is lightning in a bottle, and by taking the tangible details (plot elements and callbacks) and putting them in your show, you’ve already proven that you’ve completely and 100% missed the point.

Also:

this is the new show’s MAL score. While I consider anything between a 6 and a 7 to be “okay,” MAL scores tend to be higher since people rate on separate components of the show.

Like, a 6.7 on MAL is probably a 3 for everyone else. Yikes.

But honestly, the quality of the show is completely irrelevant, because that’s not the actual problem.

The only way to make a new FLCL product would be by accident. Have a director make a deeply personal product in which they do whatever the fuck they want. Have it be stylistically wild and make it look amazing. Create some sort of arthouse comedy with resonant themes and then just get Production IG to slap the FLCL brand on it to appeal to people’s nostalgia.

And that’s when it hit me.

That’s when my whole brain broke.

That accidental, spiritual sequel product can never happen. 

Because it looks like a huge risk to producers. 

Somehow, by remaking one of the most original and generation defining pieces of media ever created, Production IG proved that we do not live in a world where that type of product is allowed to exist. It can’t exist.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Part 7: Disney and the Culture of Hype(rbole)

When I was young, my family owned two versions of Cinderella on film. The 1950 Disney animated version, and the 1997 live-action version with Brandy. 

Obviously, they’re the same story. They follow the same beats and have the same characters. However, there are some major differences in scenes, character portrayal and, most notably, the songs. Both are musicals, but with completely different soundtracks. 

If we want to go even further, we also owned Ever After, which is a completely different retelling of Cinderella with a whole new plot made for an older audience (and it’s also very good. Check it out)

In other words, I have nothing against live action Disney remakes, In fact, I think Disney movies based on fairy tales have become their own type of fairy tale; classic stories that are being constantly retold and reshaped to remain both relevant and timeless. It’s beautiful.

What the fuck is Disney doing in the 2010s?

Right now, the trend seems to be completely recreating older Disney classics, only making them live action and, um, “fixing” them.

If you want a detailed analysis of this, go watch the Lindsay Ellis video about Beauty and the Beast. I’ll briefly sum up, but you should definitely watch the video.

Look, I personally don’t hate Beauty and the Beast (2017), but once you notice that the Beast’s character arc doesn’t really exist...

and that there are a bunch of plot threads that either don’t go anywhere or are just kind of pointless...

and that there’s a weird trolley problem with Belle and the servants that completely botches the moral of the story....

and that by adding a bunch of logic to a fucking fairy tale you’re stripping it of its appeal and also just creating plot holes...

and that the singing isn’t nearly as good as the original...

and a bunch of other problems with acting and characterization....

you start to notice that “hey, they made the exact same movie....but worse.”

But, people are okay with that.

Most people didn’t even really notice. And that’s fine, like what you like. I enjoyed the movie well enough, even though I definitely prefer the original. But...I would probably also like a different retelling of Beauty and the Beast if it was a good product. Except, then it would also be...new? And potentially better? Or at least a lateral move.

I just watched the trailer for the new Lion King (2019), and it looks...kind of good. But even thinking this...I kind of long for death, because the entire trailer is just “hey, remember THIS from the original.”

I’m just...I’m just done. I’m burnt out. I’ve had it.

When are we gonna stop making the same movie over and over again?

Or when are the changes actually going to make sense? I’ve seen most of Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland and it just goes in the opposite direction of changing everything, but the changes are just.....uggggh. Not good. Bad changes are bad.

The thing with Disney is that they are also a hype generating machine, especially after purchasing both Marvel and Star Wars. I once heard someone say in a video that, back in the day, people were trying to make the best possible product so it would sell and get popular. People...don’t really need to do that anymore. If you get 304958493093 billion people excited about the next movie in their favourite 80s franchise by promoting and hyping the shit out of it, then you’ve already secured tons of butts in seats before the movie even comes out. Every movie is an event movie if it comes from Disney and is part of one of their big franchises. Every new thing based on an old thing is the new “best thing.”

Even a new sequel that I actually liked, The Incredibles 2, was weirdly hyped up. (Also, even though I liked it, it didn’t escape my notice that there were a bunch of plot problems with the villain and the script proooobably needed another draft. Just saying.)

So, the big questions are, in this current culture, are we ever going to get another original sci-fi property, like the 80s Star Wars trilogy? Are we ever going to see a boom in a genre outside of Disney owned properties? Are we ever going to get another insane, passion-project smash hit like Fooly Cooly?

No. I don’t think so.

Not in the current state of things. 10 years from now? Maybe. 20 years from now? Probably. 

Part 8: Concluding Thoughts

I don’t know, man.

People are still making original things, but they’re not as popular and/or creative as they need to be to change where we are right now.

The very existence of Get Out does lend me some hope. It was a creative and original movie and a very large audience of people (including myself) really liked it. 

Yay.

More of this please. 

So, um, yeah.

I’m going to go watch Fooly Cooly for the 7th time and scream into a void.

Mmmm bye.

[lakambinimagph]

Where power really lies: Depiction of female superheroes today

      Chances are you are one of many who saw Captain Marvel in theaters recently or maybe you saw Wonder Woman when it was released back in 2017. Or maybe you are one of those who likes to shout “Darna!” when you were younger (or you still do it today). Next to being a princess, becoming a superhero is one of many young girls’ fantasies.

      But why is it that despite the long history of comic books and comic book movies, only now are we seeing successful films or upcoming films about female superheroes? Has the film industry finally realized that you don’t need good-looking men with ripped muscles to be the face of your movie? Or that women have been demanding for big productions revolving around female comic book characters? Or, maybe, these filmmakers and storytellers had a hard time figuring out how to write an excellent female superhero that truly embodies the essence of being a woman in this society.

      Let us take a look on three superheroes and why their great characterization has contributed to their success as films and to their impact on women here in the Philippines and around the world.

Wonder Woman: Love is not a weakness, but strength

Wonder Woman, or Princess Diana of Themyscira, is a DC Comics character that has very feminist roots. She was created by William Moulton Marston who wanted to create a superhero who gains victories not through violence but through love or compassion. His wife, Elizabeth, suggested that he make the character a woman.

      There have been numerous adaptations of Wonder Woman and many fabulous women have had the chance to step into this role. A lot of you though are mostly familiar with the recent adaptation played by the incredible Gal Gadot in movies such as Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) and in her own solo movie, Wonder Woman (2017).

      Unlike her fellow superheroes in DC Comics, previous films or television series about Wonder Woman have failed to attain the success that films about Superman and Batman have reached. For a long time, there weren’t any films about this female superhero. That’s unfortunate because, how many reboots of Superman and Batman occurred already? Two? Three? I’ve lost count (and also stopped caring). What, then, did Gadot’s Wonder Woman did right, that previous versions failed at, that made it such a hit with women everywhere?

      It’s because it stayed true to what her creator, Marston, wanted the character to be. He wanted a female superhero “with all the strength of Superman plus all the allure of a good and beautiful woman.” This was perfectly portrayed in the film, where Diana displayed qualities such as compassion, sweetness, and peace-loving and wasn’t seen as weak because of these. In fact, the film emphasized that these traits made her stronger. It’s not because of her capability to punch through hundreds of bad guys, but the strength of her character and goodness of her heart is what made Wonder Woman really special.

Captain Marvel: A ‘90s Heroine with Present-Day Struggles

      Carol Danvers, or Captain Marvel, graced our screens and made her debut in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) just a month ago. It is the 21st film in the MCU and is the first one to be led by a female superhero. Makes you wonder what took them so long…

      When the first posters and trailers came out, there were people, mostly men, who criticized Carol for “not smiling enough” or “not showing any emotion” besides looking fierce and tough. Some of them even photoshopped the posters to make it look like she is smiling. Brie Larson, who plays Captain Marvel, clapped back at her haters and posted on Instagram photoshopped images of other superheroes like Iron Man and Captain America smiling on their own posters. She showed how ridiculous it is that women can’t be portrayed as tough or fierce just like male superheroes. Brie also said that, sadly, many women have experienced this kind of thing, having men tell you that you should smile more because you’ll look prettier that way. It’s like women are not allowed to feel any other emotion or that we can’t look serious.

      Coincidentally, a similar situation happens to Captain Marvel in the movie, where a biker guy tells Carol to smile. Both Brie and the director, Anna Boden, have said that it was not a response to that criticism but that it was not an uncommon thing that women experience. It was written in the script long before the controversy happened and, lo and behold, the same thing happens in real life.

Darna: A Powerful Dalagang Pilipina

      The Philippines also boasts a rich collection of superheroes, but none has had a greater impact on Filipino pop culture like Darna. There isn’t a single Filipino who doesn’t know this female superhero. When you are asked to mention a Filipino superhero, I bet the first one to come to mind is this character.

      Darna was created by legendary comic book cartoonist, Mars Ravelo. He started working on this character before World War II, when she was still named Varga. She was intended as the Philippines’ equivalent of Superman, drawing on Ravelo’s concept that America is “male” and our country, as the one colonized by them, as “female.” He proposed the idea to both Filipino and American publishers but was turned down because, according to them, “female superheroes will not sell.”

      But, as we can see now, Darna became a big hit with readers and many film and television show adaptations have come out throughout the years. Rosa del Rosario was the first actress to play Darna on screen in 1951. Other actresses that have brought this character to life are Vilma Santos, Lorna Tolentino, Rio Locsin, Angel Locsin, and Marian Rivera. There is an upcoming remake of Darna and, with Angel Locsin and Liza Soberano exiting the project, who knows who the next woman to step into her shoes would be. There is a pressure on both the filmmakers and the actress who would play Darna because this character is so iconic and well-beloved by Filipinos.

      Of course, Filipinos were quickly endeared to her not only because of her superpowers, but also because of her love for her family, a trait that is very special to Filipinos. Darna, as her alter ego Narda, takes care of her grandmother, Lola Asay. Who would also forget her brother and sidekick, Ding. Also, we grew to love the ever-inspiring story of a simple village girl who, upon encountering a small meteorite from space, transforms into a powerful being. It’s a very good metaphor than you can become someone extraordinary despite of your small beginnings.

Dawn of a New Age

      These three superheroines all have faced their challenges and criticisms. For some reason, they underwent greater scrutiny than their male counterparts. But, despite all these, they found a way to triumph and still make their impact on women all around the world. Their films made millions at the box office and it’s good to see that the film industry is now more confident in telling superhero stories from a woman’s perspective. In the past, and, unfortunately, some movies still do this, women are just there as love interests or as the prize that the hero gets to win at the end. There are still others that sexualizes female superheroes, but because of the help of social media, these kinds of films get called out quickly.

      Women using social media to better voice out what they want to see in these kinds of films may be one of the reasons why the film industry is starting to pay more attention and improve their characterizations of women in films. Women are now at the forefront and not just sidekicks to male superheroes. Let’s hope that this continues and lastly, let’s hope that future endeavors continue to portray these female superheroes with a much honest reflection on how it is to be a woman in this present society.

Words by Jemimah Cresencia

Graphics by Kimberly Joy Alejo

Image Source for Darna, Wonder Woman, and Captain Marvel.

[radiantresplendence]

Ten Favorite Video Games - Radiant Resplendence Edition (2019)

I’ve thought about this for a hot minute, so I figured that I’d record my top ten favorite games here for posterity. No particular order here, the numbers are just how quickly they came to mind. 

1. Star Ocean: The Second Story  (PS) - There’s also an excellent remake for the PSP which I totally recommend for the two people carrying around a Vita or PSP these days. 

2. Golden Sun: The Lost Age (GBA) - This needs to be remade. In fact revive the series, Isaac’s an assist in Smash again, there hasn’t been a game in nearly a decade, and the last entry ended on a cliffhanger. (You can find it on Switch Eshop)

3. Nier: Automata (PS4/XBONE/I think there’s a PC port too) - A strong contender for best game on the console generation. I loved every second of it. A masterpiece.

4. Pokemon (Nintendo Handhelds) - It’s really hard to nail down just one game here among the main series games. I tend to applaud the Johto and Unova games over the others but generally speaking the series tends to improve with each installment. 

5. Final Fantasy X (PS2/PS3/PSV/PS4) - It’s the first FF that I completed, as such it holds a special place among the series. 

6. Kingdom Hearts 2 (PS2/PS3/PS4) - With KH3 around the corner, can we appreciate how freaking good this game was?

7. Fire Emblem: Awakening (3DS) - This game single-handedly revived the series due to how good it was. Being a FE long before it came out, I got it on release day and wasn’t disappointed. 

8. Bravely Default (3DS) - This is a pocket RPG at its best. Stylized, concise mechanics with a lot of depth and a high skill ceiling and an impressive runtime. It’s worth your time to pick it up.

9. Infamous (PS3) - This boy’s good. The sequels are really damn good too, but this one holds a special place in my heart. It’s a sandbox superhero game. The worldbuilding is really interesting. It’s really good. The fact that it beats out a bunch of other good RPGs I’ve played to make it on the list says a lot. 

10. Warcraft 3: The Frozen Throne (PC) - This is a classic. Virtually endless content. Online support to this day fifteen years after the fact. A Remake on the way. Lead directly into the phenomenon that is World of Warcraft. It’s good. Also not an RPG, but the campaign has some fairly strong RPG elements. 

[whalefairyfandom12]

ALT ER LOVE

Summary: Dan is the breakout star of the newest international sensation, SKAM Britain, with the upcoming season centered around his character Isak. The only problem is that the actor portraying Isak’s love interest is enough to send the carefully labeled details of Dan’s life into disorder.

Phil had never wanted to be an actor, but peer pressure and having a film credit on his uni application was enough to make him audition. Somehow his meager talent lands him the role of Even, starring opposite one of the biggest names in the industry and his not-so-secret celebrity crush. The reality of the situation is more than he’d ever signed up for, and as fiction starts to bleed into reality the only thing anyone knows for certain is that understanding love isn’t nearly as easy without a script.

A/N: Though this certainly talks about Skam and its characters, it’s not necessary to have seen the show to understand what’s happening. It’s really just an actor au with an excuse for me to talk about the show haha. (But really, you should watch it if you haven’t already as it’s amazing.) I hope you enjoy!

Masterpost

Week One

Wednesday 10:30

    The poster was hanging from the bulletin board, already wrinkled and torn in several places.

    Following the success of the Norwegian hit show SKAM and its subsequent British remake we are currently holding auditions for the upcoming season! The series is an international phenomenon praised for its authentic portrayal of teenagers and focuses on telling real stories based on the hardships and pressures of being in college. We’re conducting an extensive search to find British teenagers for the cast. NO ACTING EXPERIENCE REQUIRED.

     Phil Lester was not an actor. The last time he’d participated in a play was in Year Two during a retelling of the birth of Jesus, and he’d almost passed out from stage fright. He had no interest in acting, and he hadn’t watched any of the iterations of Skam. He did, however, want to get a degree in video post production, which was why he was standing in the middle of the hall trying to determine if he thought he’d pass out if he tried to audition.

    Rosie came to a halt beside him, adjusting her grip on her backpack. Her hair was back to its natural blonde color, falling loose around her shoulders. “Are you going to audition?” she asked.

    “Are you?” he countered.

    She laughed. “No, definitely not. I can’t act to save my life.”

    “I can’t either, but it would look really good on my application.” He paused. “Is it bad I’ve never seen Skam?”

    Rosie’s eyes widened in horror he hoped was mock but looked fairly genuine. “How have you lived?”

    “I’ve seen gifs on Tumblr,” he said defensively. “And I keep meaning to, but I don’t have time.” He was even following some of the gif blogs, but that was more because of Dan Howell than anything about the show.

    “You’d get to make out with Dan Howell if you auditioned for Even’s role,” Rosie said, apparently reading his mind. “That’s reason enough.”

    “I didn’t know Dan was your type.”

    “He’s a little bit everyone’s type, but I know he’s yours.” She raised her eyebrows, nudging him suggestively. “You forget I’ve been on your Tumblr.”

    Phil flushed. “Skam is everywhere,” he said, protest weak even to his own ears. “It’s impossible to avoid it.”

    “Uh huh,” Rosie said, looking entirely too smug for his liking. “But seriously, you should go for it. You fit everything they’re looking for and I think you’d make a good Even.”

    “Yeah?”

    “You both like film, for one. But if you do get the part you have to bring me Dan’s signature.”

    “I’m telling Rose.”

    Rosie rolled her eyes. “Like she’s one to talk. She’s had a crush on Hannah Witton since season one.”

    “Hannah’s a little bit everyone’s type,” Phil echoed, earning himself a snort of laughter.

    “Exactly.” She patted him on the shoulder, grip surprisingly firm. “Alright, I have Classical Literature but I’ll talk to you after you get the part.”

    Phil shook his head, gesture fond. “It’s not going to happen!” he called after her. “I don’t even know if I’m going to sign up.”

    Rosie laughed, ignoring his words in favor of a wave as she disappeared around the corner. Phil watched her leave before turning his attention back to the poster. He sighed, trainers scuffing against the floor. He stretched a tentative hand towards the paper before faltering at the last minute.

   At this rate he was definitely going to be late to maths.

   Signing up didn’t mean he had to go. He could always change his mind, even if he was offered the part. He’d probably end up in the background anyway, no speaking required.

   Phil tore one of the paper strips off the bottom, folding it in half and tucking the URL into his pocket. It wasn’t going to hurt anything to just see what happened after all. He was sure nothing was going to come of it, and if it also presented a convenient excuse to meet Dan, well, what Rosie didn’t know wouldn’t kill her.

::

Wednesday 10:30

    At age sixteen Daniel Howell was quickly rising through the ranks as one of the most influential up and coming English actors. SKAM Britain had taken off internationally, being praised for its loyalty to its source material while still giving it a fresh cultural spin.

    It was everything six year old Dan had fantasized about: fame, recognition, finally being a real actor. But despite finally living the childhood dream sixteen year old Dan just really wanted a nap.

    Unfortunately, Tyler Oakley had other plans.

    Said pain in his ass whacked him in the arm with the script, jolting him awake. “Focus!”

    Dan winced, rubbing the undoubtedly forming bruise. “I am!” A pregnant pause. “Fine,” he amended. “I’m trying. It’s just...it’s been a long day. Week. Life.”

    Tyler’s expression softened slightly. Because unlike Chris he respected Dan’s boundaries, he kindly didn’t point out the fact that it was only 10:30 and therefore too early to really make the classification as a ‘long day.’ “Okay. I think we know the lines anyway.”

    Dan exhaled, flopping back onto the other boy’s bed. His relief was probably obvious, but he was too tired to care. “Thank fuck.”

    Tyler mimicked his movements, staring at the ceiling. “Any luck with casting Even yet?”

    “Not yet. There are a few auditions left today and tomorrow, but I have to decide before Friday.” He rolled over and buried his face in the pillows, closing his eyes. Maybe if he was lucky he’d suffocate to death. “I don’t know. I think Nick would like Felix or a person like that. Someone who's already well-known, but nothing feels right yet. There’s a…” Dan trailed off and snapped his fingers, looking at Tyler expectantly. “You know?”

   The other boy was staring at him uncomprehendingly, brow furrowed. “No, not really.”

    “It’s like when you meet someone and there’s a spark or chemistry or whatever you want to call it, but you click and everything feels like it just works.”

    Tyler bolted upright, holding up a hand. “Hang on. Are we still talking about acting or have we moved on?”

    Dan rolled his eyes. He didn’t know why he bothered, honestly. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

    “Because we can totally talk about your love life,” Tyler continued, glee thinly veiled. “Or wait, you’d actually need to have a love life to talk about it.”

     Dan scowled, flipping him off. He retracted any and all previous statements about Tyler being a good friend. “I told you, I’m not--”

     “Interested in a relationship,” his friend finished, pulling a face. “I know. We all know. But imagine how cute it would be if you started dating whoever was cast as Even.” Dan frowned, opening his mouth to respond but Tyler cut him off again. “I know you’re not gay. I’m just saying, everyone loves a good costar romance and imagine how much hotter the sex scenes would be.”

    Dan let out an undignified yelp as he tumbled off the bed, resisting the urge to bang his head against the wall in an attempt to scour the images from his brain. His face was burning as he stumbled to his feet, yanking open the door. “Bonding time’s over! Thanks for going over the lines with me.”

    Tyler smirked, stretching out on the mattress. “There’s something I like about the idea of two really tall men--”

    Dan jammed his fingers in his ears. “Goodbye Tyler,” he said loudly, but unfortunately not loudly enough to miss the rest of the sentence. At this point he’d give half of every paycheck for the creation of brain bleach.

    Tyler laughed. “Have a good time meeting your future lovers.”

    Dan picked up one of the shoes laying by the door, aiming it at his costar’s head. In his visions of fame, six year old Dan hadn’t accounted for the assholes that would become his colleagues and only friends. Which was more than a little depressing to think about, really. He wrinkled his nose as he stepped outside, heading towards his trailer.

    And they say to follow your dreams.

::

Wednesday 17:15

    The world looked a little better upside down. Phil’s mum had always been a big advocate for approaching problems from multiple angles, and though she probably hadn’t meant it literally he found it kind of relaxing to pretend he was a fruit bat whose biggest problems were surviving until the next night.

    His laptop was open to the audition application, name and email already filled in which was as far as he’d gotten before panicking. If he thought he could screw his head on enough to focus actually watching some of the episodes instead of relying on Tumblr’s slightly biased opinions would probably be a good place to start.

    From what he did know, Dan was playing Isak Valtersen, the main character of season three. Isak was gay and his storyline primarily revolved around accepting himself, coming out, and meeting Even. Dan was one of the original cast members, and from the numerous crying gifs on Tumblr was popular with the viewers.

    Even Bech Næsheim was Isak’s love interest, and that was basically all Phil knew about him. He’d skimmed the wikipedia page once out of curiosity and seen the film connection that Rosie had pointed out and a lot of gifs of Even and Isak kissing. Like a lot. Like so many he was already blushing thinking about having to do all of that with Dan.

    Phil had been an out and proud bisexual since he was twelve and had his share of boyfriends since then, so it wasn’t the thought of kissing another boy that had him so nervous. It was that the boy in question was Dan.

    Who, not that he was looking or anything but from a video he’d found of Dan making out with some girl from another movie, looked like he was a great kisser.

    He exhaled, puffing out his cheeks as he rolled right side up. The room spun, and he blinked a few times rapidly to try and unsuccessfully clear his head. He reached for his laptop, entering his password. The audition form loaded again, and he finished filling out his information and pressed send before he could angst about it again for another six hours. Now all that was left to do was wait.

::

Wednesday 19:23

   Dan was ready to implode and take the rest of the world with him. He didn’t understand how it was possible to make an improv scene about hiding a body boring, but most of the actors were finding a way. He slumped in his seat, sighing loudly enough for Nick to shoot him a dirty look. The director held two fingers and Dan gave his best impression of a ‘what the fuck is that supposed to mean’ face.

    Nick’s lips thinned. “Twenty two more people,” he said as Peter exited with a flourish. “And then we’re done.”

    Dan groaned. “That’s twenty two too many. And then a hundred more tomorrow.”

    “Have you see anyone you like?” Bertie asked before Nick could respond. Dan almost felt bad for him. The screenwriter spent a lot of his time smoothing things out between Nick and the rest of the cast. “They don’t have to be from today.”

    He shrugged. “Peter was okay.” He’d wrung a laugh out of him with his improv anyway, which was more than could be said for everyone else.

    “He went off script quickly,” Bertie said, flipping through his binder. “Since we’ve left casting Even five days before we start filming,” Dan cringed, sinking further into his seat. “It’s important whoever we cast can think on their feet.”

    “I’m going to let the next one in,” Nick said. “Try to look less like you’re being held against your will.”

    Dan rolled his pencil between his fingers, picking at the places where the wood had started to chip. Twenty two more people and he could go back to staring at the walls in his trailer. At least filming started soon, and even if everything else was going to shit at least that was something that still made sense.

::

Thursday 16:27

    Phil had moved three meters in the past two hours. The rest of the crowd snaked around the block and into the audition building, better looking and infinitely more talented candidates making excited conversation. He estimated there were still a good few hours before he reached the door, but he was already starting to feel ridiculously anxious. His nerves weren’t helped by the fact that despite leaving the flat with plenty of time to spare, he was the last one in line. He made a face, prying his fist open and wiping the sweat against his shirt.

    The crowd inched forwards.

    He jumped as his phone vibrated, a thumbs up from Rose and a gif of Dan in a beanie from Rosie. He smiled, the encouragement only slightly lessening the urge to throw up. He’d never been very good at job interviews and this was a million times worse.

    Then again, the application had had a lot of unusual questions so maybe the experience wouldn’t be as painful as he was anticipating. Only one of the questions asked about prior acting experience, and most of them were assessing with what he liked to do in his free time or if he had any social media accounts. He wasn’t sure how any of that was relevant to acting, exactly, but the less he had to advertise his faults the better.

    The line moved forwards, three centimeters, this time.

    Phil sighed, eyeing the pavement dubiously before sitting down. He had a feeling he was going to be here for awhile.

::

Thursday 18:43

    “I'm sure that in a parallel universe there's an Isak and an Even who're lying in the exact same way in the exact same place, only, like the curtains are a different color or something.”

    Mark was quiet. He met Dan’s gaze evenly, voice subdued. “So yellow curtains, then?”

    “Yeah.”

    A melancholy smile. “I think you’ve had enough jay now.”

    “Haven’t you ever thought about that?” Dan asked, trying to keep his tone wistful. He couldn’t be the only one that spent every night wide awake and imagining the other versions of himself in realities where he regretted his life a little less.

    “Yeah, but I guess I’m just starting to feel so...I don’t know. Lonely.”

    “It’s interesting though,” he insisted.

     Mark sighed heavily, shoulders slumping. “I don’t like it. Freaks me out.”

    “It freaks you out?”

    “Not freaked out like a horror movie, but like feeling alone. That sort of freaked out, I guess. That like it's your head it's you and your head and all of your thoughts.

    “Alone in your head, what do you mean?”

    “A ‘The Mind is Alone’ feeling.”     Dan frowned. “A what feeling? The mind is alone?”

    “Because the only thing that exists is you and your thoughts, right? You can't escape from your own thoughts, The only way to do that is to die.” Mark curled further in on himself, averting his gaze. Dan had a feeling he was trying to portray the heaviness of the dialogue, but he’d already started out the perfect picture of forlorn that he had limited ways to try and look more depressing.

    “That's dark, though.”

    “Yeah, but haven't you ever thought about that?”

    He did a double take. “No?”     Mark laughed, a more than a little bitter sound. “Jesus! I'd forgotten how young you are.”

    Dan’s smile was more of a grimace as he dropped his script on the table. Both Nick and Bertie were nodding appraisingly in Mark’s direction, and his heart sank. It was rare that the two ever agreed on anything, and it was looking more and more like Mark was going to get the part. He retreated to his seat, rolling the pencil between his fingers as Nick gave Mark the usual speech about expecting-a-call and -thanks-for-your-time.

    “Thanks!” Mark said cheerily. He shot Dan a bright smile, offering a wave. Dan returned the gestures with considerably less enthusiasm as the other boy left the room.

    “I think Mark is the best we’ve seen so far,” Bertie was saying. Dan tried to pretend he was interested.

    “I agree,” Nick said. “What do you think, Dan?”

    He hesitated. “Fine. Yeah, he was great.”

    The director and writer exchanged exasperated looks, which he thought was rather unfair. Sure he could be a little high maintenance sometimes (read, most of the time) but he didn’t have anything on someone like Jake Paul.

    “What didn’t you like about him?”

    “Nothing really. It’s just, don’t you think it should’ve had more lightheartedness?” Dan said in one breath. “In the beginning lines, at least. Isak and Even have spent all this time chasing after each other and trying to figure out what this connection is between them while all of these other tensions and pressures keep piling up until finally they kiss and realize that the idea of Isak-and-Even isn’t so crazy after all.”

     “And?”

    “And don’t you think after spending the night together and the way both of them feel free and safe enough to let their walls down that the morning after wouldn’t seem so much like someone died? And if the scene starts mellow there’s nowhere else to go.”

    Nick sighed, rubbing a hand over his beard. “You’re right,” he admitted. Dan tried not to fall off his seat in shock. “I noticed that too, but there’s never going to be a perfect actor that gets everything right the first time. Not even Meryl Streep. If you keep waiting for someone like that you’re never going to be happy.”

    “Maybe. I guess we’ll see.” Dan set his jaw, dropping his gaze to the table determinedly. There was a challenge if ever he’d heard one. Now he just had to hope the actor was out there that could prove him right.

::

Thursday 20:15

    Phil’s trainers squeaked against the floor as he followed the man into the audition hall. The sound was uncomfortably loud in the silence, and despite his nerves he was relieved when they finally reached the room. The man pushed the double doors open, entering without hesitation. He could make out the silhouettes of a table and two people sitting at the head, flanking the empty seat. They looked like they were engrossed in a conversation, pausing as Phil took a hesitant step forwards.

    The first thing he saw was Dan, head bent over his phone and dark curls soft where they fell against his forehead. The actor was wearing a biker jacket unzipped over a gray shirt and black skinny jeans, outfit complete with the bored and slightly tortured look on his face. Beside him was a blond haired man in glasses, and the red haired man who’d let him in.

    The latter cleared his throat, stepping forward with a practiced smile, “My name is Nicholas Young and I’m the director of SKAM Britain. This is Bertie Gilbert, our screenwriter. And of course, Daniel Howell who plays Isak Valtersen.”

    Phil wet his lips reflexively, trying for a smile. “Hi. I’m Phil, it’s nice to meet you.” Dan looked up at his response, and he almost wished he hadn’t because wow. He’d never really understood the whole ‘the eyes are everything’ shtick everyone was always on about in the movies, but clearly he hadn’t been around the right people.

    “We’re glad you could make it,” Bertie said. He pulled one of the empty chairs away from the table and Phil took a seat, unable to resist glancing back in Dan’s direction. The other boy was still staring back and he dropped his gaze, face warm.

    “As you know,” Nick took over. “Skam is unusual in how interactive it is. It’s not just a show, it’s an experience.” Dan snorted quietly, and Phil smiled despite himself. “Clips are released in real time, and filming and writing can be very intensive to meet the deadlines. The characters have real social media accounts, and pictures need to be shot outside of filming. Even doesn’t have an Instagram, but you’ll be required to be in Isak’s photos as well as some groups shots and promo pictures. The point is, this is not a commitment to be taken lightly and we’re only looking for candidates that will invest the time and effort necessary for an experience this time consuming.”

    “Okay,” Phil said weakly.

    Bertie flashed him what he assumed was supposed to be a reassuring thumbs up. “Just focus on the audition for now. You’ve got this.”

    Actually Phil was becoming more and more convinced he didn’t got this, but he nodded anyway.

    “We’ll start with a short reading of one of the scenes to warm up,” Nick said. “Followed by an improv and a final read through with Dan.” He pushed the stack of papers Phil’s direction. “It’s in order.”

    Phil shuffled the stack, scanning the first page. A hotel room. EVEN is eating a mini burger. His energy is infectious, almost too much so.

    “Whenever you’re ready, Phil,” Bertie said.

    He relaxed his death grip where it was starting to wrinkle the script, nerves back with a vengeance. He let his eyes drift shut, envisioning the walls of a hotel building around him.

    Even was feeling on top of the world, Isak sitting across from him. Affection overtook him at the sight, knocking him off his feet and dissolving his expression into a smile. After everything they were finally here, and maybe it wasn’t going to last forever but he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to keep it for as long as he could.

    His eyes snapped open. He met the other boy’s gaze with a smile.

    “You don’t think we’ll get married?” he asked, surprise mingling with genuine fondness. It had become impossible to do anything without feeling ridiculously, stupidly, improbably in love. “We’re so fucking getting married.”

::

Thursday 20:45

    The door slammed shut as Phil left the room, Nick taking the now empty seat across the table. Bertie had left a few minutes ago for a meeting, and Dan steeled himself for the impending interrogation. Strangely, the prospect didn’t bother him as much as it normally would’ve, black hair and a bright smile lingering every time he closed his eyes.

    Fuck.

    “Now that auditions are finally finished, who did you connect with the most?” Nick asked, cutting straight to the point.

    Dan hesitated. (Phil, his brain helpfully supplied in the pause. You want Phil, possibly in more ways than one. He told it to shut up.) “I don’t know. They all seemed like good candidates.”

    Nick released a long suffering sigh. “The original season three of Skam was what brought it to international prominence. If we want to replicate that success in any way we need to make sure you’re comfortable with whoever plays Even. I still think Mark seems like a good choice.”

    The thing was, deep down he knew Nick was right. Mark had already made a name for himself and had plenty of experience. He or someone with his background would be the obvious choice. Not some gangly eighteen year old who hadn’t acted since he was six. But even though Mark was fine and his audition had been fine there was something missing.

    Auditioning for Skam was one of the first things Dan had ever done for himself, and despite living the acting dream and getting to work with his friends everyday between his success and the popularity of the show his career was becoming yet another thing he was losing control over. Picking the Even he wanted seemed in some small, pathetic way like he was taking over his life again.

    There was the whisper of a laugh again, tongue poking out the side of Phil’s smile as he looked at Dan. And while he knew it was just Even looking at Isak and it didn’t mean anything, suddenly he felt more real than he had in a long time and really there was no dilemma was there?

    “Phil Lester,” he said. “I felt the most chemistry with him.”

    He held his breath, waiting for Nick to say something disparaging, but to his surprise the other man merely looked contemplative. “Hmm. You two did have a natural connection and your chemistry was very good, but he doesn’t have any acting experience.”

    “The sign up sheet said he didn’t have to,” Dan argued. “A lot of us don’t, and that’s part of why people connect with it so much. It feels authentic--there isn’t any of the polish or glamour from the industry. And it seemed like he already really understood the character in just a few hours.”

    “Okay,” Nick said, expression contorted like he was making a life or death decision and he’d chosen death. “Fine. If that’s what you want and Bertie agrees, Phil Lester can be your Even.” He narrowed his eyes, finger jabbing Dan in the chest. “But you better prove me right.”

    It was ridiculous how much Dan had to fight the urge to smile. “I will,” he promised. He waited until Nick had left the room before letting his grin split his face. A laugh escaped before he could stop it, relief and adrenaline coloring it slightly hysterical. He’d done it--he’d finally found an Even.

    His steps were light as he ran towards the door, knocking Carrie down the stairs where she was waiting outside with PJ. Not even the fact that it looked like they’d been talking about him was enough to dampen his mood.

    PJ helped the girl to her feet, giving him a suspicious look. “What’s got you so happy?”

    “Can’t I smile sometimes?” he protested.

    “Not like that.”

    “I agree,” Carrie chimed in. “Black clothes and gallows humor is more your style.”

    Dan would be more offended, but they were kind of right. He’d known PJ and Carrie since the start of Skam, as they were two of the original cast members. PJ played Jonas, Isak’s best friend, and Carrie played Vilde, one of the main recurring female characters. By this point they’d known each other so long it was impossible to get anything past them. “I hate you both.”

    She patted his back. “We love you too.”

    He glared at her. “I hope you both get eaten by a moth.”

    “Are you going to tell us what’s going on?” PJ interrupted, looking at him expectantly.

    Part of Dan was tempted to leave them guessing, but he really was excited. “I found an Even.” A moment of stunned silence.

    Carrie unfroze first. “You found an Even!” she shouted, pulling him into a hug. “That’s amazing!”

    PJ clapped him on the back, more reserved but smile wide. “Who is it?”

    “Phil Lester,” Dan said once Carrie had released him and he could breathe again. “He’s eighteen and from Rawtenstall. He read the hotel scene and we did yellow curtains again but it just worked this time.”

   “What does he look like?”

    “Tall. Like, I know I’m freakishly tall but he might be a little taller actually. Black hair, his eyes are like a blue, green, yellow shade?”

    “Isak and Even together at last,” PJ said seriously. “And you and Phil really sound like you have chemistry. The sexual tension is essential.”

    “What color are his eyes again?” Carrie asked innocently.

    Dan rolled his eyes. “How are you and Chris getting along Carrie?” he asked pointedly. “Or PJ and--who is it you’re with now?”

    “You’re deflecting,” she said. “And for the record, Chris is lovely. We haven’t spent that much time together so far but I’m sure that’ll change once we start filming.” She threw an arm around his shoulders. “Seriously though, I’m happy for you. And that my job is safe for another six months.”

     It was starting to become stupid how he couldn’t stop smiling, and once the shock wore off he was sure he’d revert to his usual state of dark nothing, but for once he shut off his brain and reveled in the feeling. “Yeah, well, I’m happy for me too.” It wasn’t a lie in the slightest.

::

Friday 15:16

   Phil was trying to pretend he wasn’t staring at his phone waiting for it to ring. His English teacher was giving a lecture about the final paper that he should probably be listening too, but instead he was staring at his empty notifications. The longer the day went on the more convinced he was that he hadn’t gotten the part. It stung more than he thought it would’ve.

   He’d spent the entire day fielding questions from his friends and hiding in the bathroom, hating that he was so excited. He’d even watched the first four episodes of the original Skam last night and started the first two of Skam Britain, and found that he actually enjoyed it far more than he thought he would’ve. Granted, Dan was in the British version so he would always be slightly biased towards that, but there was definitely an appeal in the original version that made him understand its success.

    His phone rang on the table beside him, vibrating against his pencil and sending it rolling to the floor. Phil ducked his head, reaching to silence it. He froze.

    It was an unknown caller.

    His heart leaped into his throat, chair squeaking across the tiles as he bolted for the door. The pencil would have to wait. “Sorry,” he said, pausing long enough to meet the dumbfounded expressions of his classmates. “I have to take this.” His hands were shaking as he pressed answer, sinking onto one of the benches lining the hall. “Hello?

    “Is this Phil?”

    “Yes?”

    “This is Marie from Skam Britain. I’m calling to inform you that you’ve received the part of Even Bech Næsheim in our upcoming season. Congratulations!”

    The phone clattered to the ground. Phil scrambled to recover it, his cheeks starting to hurt with the force of his grin. His brain was starting to short circuit, thoughts frozen somewhere between received the part and congratulations. “Thank you!” he blurted, elation lifting his words into something nonsensical.  

    Marie huffed. “You’re welcome, I guess?” she said, humor lacing her voice. “From what I can tell you’ve earned it.” Phil couldn’t bite back his smile this time at her words, and settled instead for leaning against the back of the bench and listening. “Filming starts Tuesday, but we want you and Dan to spend Sunday together if you’re available?”

    “Yes!” he said, trying unsuccessfully to curb his excitement and sound professional. “That works great.”

    “I’ll email you the address and more information, but welcome to the cast.”

[sam-gibbs]

Uploading my game to itch and getting feedback

Here I am now working on setting up my itch.io page in the hopes that I will be able to go ahead and upload my game to it in order for people to be able to test play my game easily. Here I am going to be making a new projects on Itch.io for my game. First I have just used a temporary name which I am not sure whether it is going to be the actual name of the game. The name I have gone for is “Escape the Witch”. For the classification I have set it to be a Video game and due to the size the file will be I have set it up so that the game is going to be downloadable. Due to the game not being complete yet I have set it as a prototype instead of a complete game, I have also set the Pricing to be no payments as I am only publishing this for testing purposes.

Next I have gone ahead and added in a basic description of the game for people to read before downloading the game. Hopefully this will mean that the people will get a better understanding as to what the game is about before playing it. When it came to the game genre there wasn't an option for Horror so I have set it as adventure. Then in the game tags I have put it as 3D,first person, horror, magic, single player, voodoo and witch. These tags will make the game easier to find and will help my target audience find the game if they search up one of these tags.

I have it set up so people can make comments so I can get some forms of feedback if they don't want t go ahead and fill in the survey then they can just leave a little comment on there thoughts of the game as well as any problems/ questions they had.

Now we have done the details of the page I now need to go ahead and add in the graphic design as well as the images of my game. Here is what I have so far for the page however I can go ahead and add in more videos and screenshots later in the future.

Creating a google forum:

Now I am at the stage where I need to go ahead and make a google forum. This is a survey so that people can give me feedback on my game. When getting good feedback for our games we need to make sure we get 2 different types of data. Quantitative data and Qualitive data.

Quantitative data - This form of data is statistical and is normally represented by a yes of no answer. A question which has Quantitative data is a question which makes the person chose from a choice of answers instead of inputting there own answer.

Qualitative data - This form of data is non statistical and is normally followed up with an explanation. Questions collecting Qualitative data often allow the person to input there own answers and give and explanation as to why they have put that answer.

In my forum I have made it so I have at least 5 open questions and 5 closed questions so I am able to get both types of data in my feedback of my game. Here is the survey I have made.

Analyzing the Feedback:

I got 4 people to play my game and fill out my survey and here is what they had to say. Firstly I am glad that everyone who played my game did enjoy my game. Everyone said that they enjoyed the game.

While sitting with people as they played the game it did become very clear that the aim of the game as well as the controls still aren't very clear. I need to go ahead and make it more clear as to what the aim of the game is as well as what each ingredient looks like and what the jump potion looks like.

Although the controls weren't very clear I think having some controls and a brief explanation did help the situation. I just think they need to be more clear and have some information added to them.

So here are some of the features that people likes about my game. To start with there is the randomization, While watching people play the game the randomization really came in handy as it made the game repayable multiple times. Secondly we have the ingredients list as well as the ability to collect a potion to enhance the players jump height. I think having the list being able to e toggled is really good as it means the player has to keep looking back to it to check they are collecting the correct items. Next they said that they really liked the art style of the game and enjoyed the idea of having to go around and collect the items. Finally they said that they really liked the UI and that they enjoyed the atmosphere of the game. I am really pleased with that as I worked hard on making the UI, Style and atmosphere all match to make the game feel all fluid.

Now we are moving onto the features that people didn't like. Due to there only being 2 comments I assume the other 2 people didn't have anything they didn't like about the game. The first comment talks about the controls being a little awkward and the level being dark in some places. When they talk about the controls being awkward I can understand that the toggle menu can be a little finicky and also navigating up the stairs is a bit of an issues. I will try my best to fix these however I may not be able to do much to change these in the time there is left. Also everyone who played the game made a comment about how it was too dark. I will definitely be fixing this by either adding in more lighting or just increasing the players brightness. The second comment mentions the jumping making the player feel out of control. This may just be due to the jump velocity being a really high value and it just needs to be turned down.

The first comment brings up the lighting problem which I have already addressed. The second comment brings up another issue which is the stairs, The stairs are really hard to navigate and get up, Although I don't think I can fix it this might be something to keep in mind when making levels in the future or even considering having the whole level on one floor and take out the stairs completely. One person said it would be good to be able to go ahead and add in more obstacles in order to make the game harder to play and more challenging. Finally we go back to the issue abut the stairs being hard to navigate and not fitting in with the level. They suggested making the Hut a bungalow which I will defiantly take into mind if I remake or alter my level.

in general a lot of people liked the Graphic design and there was only a few things which needed changing about it. For example one person said they struggled to read the font. This is something to take into mind when it comes to people who struggle reading. We could maybe have it so in the options of the game the player can choose to change the font for something more clearer and simple in order to make it easier to read. Another thing was how long the person had to read the text. The player often didn't have long enough to read the intro fully so I either need to extend the delay or someone suggested having it so when the player presses a “next” button it will then continue the intro.

I am glad that people enjoyed the audio in the game. Unfortunately to listen to the audio people needed there own earphones which is why I only managed to get to responses for that questions out of the 4 people who tested it as some people didn't have there own earphones on them.

I am very glad that people would indeed recommend the game to a friend as it means that they enjoyed it enough to think that it is worth others playing and testing.

I am also really glad that some people would replay the game and in fact some people did in order to win the game as they had lost a few times. This is a place where having a “next” button in the intro will work well however as it meant anyone who replayed the game had to go ahead and sit through the long intro again. 

When asked if there are any other comments people wanted to make there were only 2 comments with how to improve the game. One thing is having clarity on what item is what. This might be achievable with having a poster on the wall or having multiple pages in the recipe list. It could also be solved by each word on the list having a picture next to it. ne person also suggested adding in more potions for the player to find which could make them see better and even walk faster.

Overall I am pleased with the feedback from the game and feel like that overall it was a success. I will take the notes from the feedback and go ahead and make changes to the game in order to make it better.

[urukyra]

Min’atoa Station Post Mortem

Min’atoa Station, my 6-month capstone project for my Game Development course at Yoobee Colleges, in which I fall down a rabbit hole, drown in a pool of tears and learn to make magic.  Or, less poetically, scope too big, lose and remake multiple assets multiple times, and launch a game that falls well short of my goal - yet shows a glimpse of a potentially amazing experience. 

My aim was a linear 3D narrative game - think Gone Home in a Myst type setting with a terrorist theme.. I reckon I got halfway, so there’s only 90% left to go. 

Team vs Solo 

Tutors urged us to push our boundaries, and in my Goodest Boi team I stretched my wings into new areas and thrived. In other teams (whether real or not) I’d felt held back by low expectations. My mantra was ‘play big’. I love to learn, and that means embracing looking stupid, stumbling before you can walk. I chose a solo project, so I’d be propelled to shine, and I was pleased I did. The gasps of surprise from the class even at my prototype were validating. A teacher once said more learners rust out than burn out - having a tutor that believed in me created its own empowerment magic.

New Idea vs Darling 

I was torn between:

A new game, designed for addictive game-play loops, replayability, marketing hooks, commercial 

Min’atoa - unknown market, unproven gameplay, not replayable, huge scope, high risk. 

The gamedev mantra “kill your darlings” echoed in my head. I brainstormed great alternatives that I loved. And yet, YOLO, carpe diem. I left a ‘safe’ life doing what I was told for this. The window was open - now or never.  I’d never “finish” Min’atoa left to my own devices. It needed a structure for existence - the force-field of deadlines, accountability, of expert help. I knew it was too big, so I ‘maimed’ my darling - reduce scope, use existing assets, basic textures, no puzzles - just a story game. That seemed do-able (cue evil laughter). So I talked myself into ‘story-only-Min’atoa.’ Call me crazy, but I don’t regret it.

Tools

I got overwhelmed.comparing narrative tools: Inkle, Twine, Yarnspinner, Ren’Py, Ink. Prairie, Fungus, Novel-software, Scrivener. My author friend Peter cut through my angst by wryly observing that Shakespeare used a quill pen. For my Myst-type story - linear, non-branching, no dialogue - Google docs was fine!  

Writers Block

Although I had a plot, I couldn’t start. Tutor Matt P got me to put story beats in linear time order, then rearrange them into the order the story needed. Write short  ‘memory joggers’ of each plot movement onto Post-It notes. This simple process broke the writer’s block. 

Later, I found myself blocked again, and dedicated an entire week turning these brief notes into strings of story.

Story gating

Player autonomy is a key feature of game design. In game writing, each story elements has to stand on its own in whatever order players come across them, and the plot still has to make sense.  So story games build artificial ‘gates’ to order key story elements (eg in locked rooms), to achieve greater dramatic tension and plot cohesion,  

I fit the plot into the game’s natural gates: portal, balcony, room, and controller balcony, and Arrivals (and later,,Departures) desk drawers; Doors opened with buttons, and crystal docks.. I felt clever making drawer locks, and hiding keys and crystals. The gates were not infallible, but ‘good enough’ in playtesting. 

The downside was, the story game became a puzzle game. It changed how players played, from a slow pace that encouraged reading, to active, testing interactable objects to see what they did. In retrospect, i wish I’d deliberately designed for the slower game feel of Gone Home, where players interact with passive objects whose function was to add atmosphere.

Story Element Workflow

There were 25 notices and 21 letters, each with two gameObjects - players click on a 3D object in the scene, to bring up UI with its matching 2D readable. This meant 92 assets whose materials change when I edit their words. A simple workflow was essential. 

Playtesters noted the 25 notices were easily legible; that removed 25 UI assets. 

For the 21 letters, I felt clever about my idea of stationery. I made stationery (paper, design and font) for each character (Tris, S’tiel, Priestess and Council). Each in-game letter automatically populated its UI stationery with a text string. Instead of 21 UI assets, I only needed four.

I was smug about this at first - I’d polish text; and the UI automatically updated. But for beta, for the first time I had to have textures on all 46 3D documents. It was an awful workflow. I’d play through, click on each letter or notice, bring up UI stationery with its unique string, snip it, create 46 materials from the snips, and tile these to fit each gameObject. 

It was so tedious to change materials, it created a mental barrier to improving the text, even if it was way too long, or made me cringe. I deleted eight noticeboard posters that were too embarrassing. I left “Lorem Ipsum” text on most letters. I wish I’d fixed these. I did find ways to automate this process, but events overtook (see refactoring section) so I didn’t get time to code this.  

Localisation

The more words, the more difficult and expensive is localisation, reducing the potential market, if I were doing it again, I would aim to 

reduce word count dramatically, and use more images

have illegible 3D textures (see for example Zelda, Breath of the Wild) or develop an alien text / symbols

retain the process of populating 2D UI assets with strings, so that it would be easy to populate strings in different languages.

Prioritise Your Intuition

Sam Fleury, Runaway Play gave an NZGDC talk on prioritising your intuition to reduce burnout and improve personal effectiveness. He noted that our tendency to try to ‘push through’ a wall was often driven by feeling unworthy. It often led to bad code (or other work) that had to be redone. 

When I noticed my brain clearly saw the chains of logic, I coded quickly and cleanly When my ‘programming mind’ lost it’s edge, went ‘fuzzy’, if I continued to push I wrote bad code, and felt burnt out. I found it took an active decision to resist the ‘imposter syndrome’ urge to push on. I’d step back, take a rest, or pivot to a task that used another part of the brain (art or story).  

I took note of sunshine, various foods, coffee and rest affected my focus and set up the right environment. Dancing barefoot on the grass is great therapy.

More often than not, when I came back I’d see a bigger picture, and pivot to a different priority, or to a fresh, cleaner approach. I’d never pivot when I was nose to the grindstone. 

I heartily recommend this practice. It was vital for a solo dev on a big scope game.  Pacing myself was not costly, I wrote better code in less time with less stress. And it might seem obvious, but burnt out, tired devs don’t make games that are fun, intriguing, and delightful,

Attributions  

I wanted assets that left the option open to allow commercial use. This hugely limited choice for the game’s many imported assets: ~20 sound effects, music,  five fonts, five paper textures and plugins, . 

I recommend designing a good filing system for attributions. I did record them as I went, but not in one place. Finding them months later cost time I’d rather spend on my game. 

Brian and I made most of the images and icons from scratch. But right at the end I realised an image used fan art I’d made for #Myst25 from Riven, a game by Cyan Worlds, Commercial use violated their very generous terms for fan art.

I wrote to Cyan, saying I’d remove it, but it’d be a lovely Easter egg for Myst fans. Hannah Gamiel, Director of Development, Cyan Inc immediately wrote back to give permission to use it, which was typical of the lovely Cyan approach to their fans. 

Refactoring

We’d planned for Brian being away for 3 months OE, but didn’t factor in a month to reinstate his melted server and hospital with pneumonia. Since Yoobee had only Unity 2018, I’d coded the prototype, Sabotage, from scratch in 3 weeks. 

Once Yoobee got Unity 2019, I reverted to Min’atoa with Brian’s code, which was robust and elegantly effective, But since we were both new to Unity it used unusual approaches - event signals, listeners via parented assets, and master controllers with enums. After painfully watching me struggle, my tutor Woody spelt out the stark choice: strip out Brian’s code and he’d help me rebuild it, or struggle on alone. 

I chose to strip it out. I really wanted to step up at coding, and Woody was brilliant at it. Although Min’atoa would not be finished to the level I wanted in other areas, I could do the writing and art later.  

Deleting two years of scripts left 416 fatal errors; removing ‘missing scripts’ from assets took hours. It would be an enormous task to rebuild. I brutally trimmed my asset list of Brian’s features (a fully functional inventory, and putting items down). and features I’d planned (writing, art, animations, codes and puzzles). 

Then I got intensive tutoring from Woody. I learned: 

keep it simple - add complexity only as required 

use prefabs - get one asset completely right, then 20 others work 

get the essentials (story gates) working - doors, drawers, lifts and locks. .. 

Within a month, most of the functions worked again. My crowning achievement was replacing Brian’s inventory with a scroll-selectable list that appears on hover (over a lock that takes multiple items) and shows what carried items fit in. 

I was also pleased to get different endings working (including one that pivots the whole scene).  I’ll never know what Min’atoa would be if I’d made the other decision, but I do know I would not have learned as much as I did.

The biggest code drawback was no inventory for the 21 letters,they’re just lost . The player can’t refer back to any letter they’d collected. Woody had shown me how to do it, but I spent the remaining time fixing bugs I had, and improving art and gameplay. This is such a major drawback that if I get time, I’d like to issue a patch for it, and I (think) I now know enough to do it. . 

Result 

I launched a game that I have mixed feelings about. On one hand, I have another game in my public itch.io portfolio. Overall, for pretty much a solo game made in a limited time, it showcases my capabilities and adds to my credibility as a  game developer. 

On the other hand, I wish it were more fun, that the story was better, the puzzles more difficult, the game design was more complete. The main failing with the game was the story. I have so much to learn and I plan to fully engage with expert writing mentors next year to learn to

create empathy and connection with the main characters 

reveal through what’s not said, rather than tell

reduce word count (strict 140 character limit per item) 

use environmental storytelling.

Given the need to limit scope, I only included very basic puzzles, that were not at the level of complexity or engagement of good competitors, like Aporia or Eastshade. Brian and I had designed more complex puzzles, but specifically removed those for scope reasons. If I were to do it again, I would prioritise adding to the puzzle component in simple ways such as:

embed hidden clues, codes and hints

add images, sketches and drawings . 

Not having clues to choose different endings is a major omission. For much of the development, I placed puzzle items to make life easy for me, rather than for the player’s satisfaction, The player finds them in obvious places, one after the other repetitively, instead of having to use deductive reasoning.

I would put more time into thinking about how to make it fun for the player to discover hidden items, work out lore-logical places for them, and hint at their location rather than make it so obvious. 

Conclusion

There are definitely things I want to improve in Min’atoa Station, but for now, the game is out ‘as is’. 

Next time I’d invest time early to “find the fun”. Find the fun in the story, puzzles, and gameplay from the player’s perspective as early as possible and build from a solid base of a proven enjoyable gameplay experience. 

At the end, my measure is not even the game. but instead what I have learned. I'm a person with new skills. Looking back my progress seems humbling and miraculous. In 2017, I first clumsily opened Photoshop, my first ever digital tool. In 2019, I made Min’atoa Station, a credible 3D game. Without diminishing Brian’s enormous contribution, or that of my tutors, it was ‘my game’. I designed the world, characters, story, gameplay, modeled and textured 3D assets, 2D assets, the menus, animations, lighting, audio, did the voice acting,  used many plugins and more..I ended up coding everything, I listened and learnt, I asked for help and got lots, I struggled and fought and.. Lo. 

As I reflect on the end of my time at Yoobee, my journey as a game developer has been, and I hope will continue to be, intense and exhilarating. To me, it’s been an incredible privilege to learn to make worlds from my imagination come to life.