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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 5 years ago

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hey so remember like last year when i was re-reading misadventures and fixing typos? (well, i say that, but it was just an excuse to re-read it and write some absolutely absurd commentary on it...) i found old notes in my phone from january with even more so guess i may as well post it because people seemed to find it funny at the time, it’s basically just The Misadventures of Aish Realizing Things though

[yeah so here’s the original notes i’m not even gonna change anything even though lots of Lore has happened in the show and we Know things now, you just get to see what january aish typed]

ok well let’s go then chapters 31-35 oh god

oh yeah the ML Blackout! I remember that

hm it’s occurring to me maaaaaybe I should post a bit of a warning on this chapter. like “yes this starts off stupid and cracky and fluffy but takes a complete 180 in the middle and you will end up sobbing.”

or maybe I should put that as a disclaimer on the whole fic cause it’s one hell of a ride

THE AROACE SCIENCE JOURNAL YESSSSSSS THAT COMES BACK LATER

yeah the reason why the early parts of this chapter are very lighthearted is honestly because the fic was getting a bit too bleak, I needed something cheerful, so paper planes and arm wrestles it was

wait... isn’t this just that scene from Anansi??? where like Nora challenges Nino to an arm wrestle but then he wins because Someone Else Nearby Did A Thing

also this is Peak characterization, damn Aish, you rly outdone yourself, congration

any time I drop the word “inkling” into a fic it is always 100% a splatoon reference

MAX WOW TONE DOWN THE GAY

heh... BI-ceps...

oh my godddd Max trying to play off his ogling as “ah yes I am scientifically studying Kim’s arm muscles ofc, it’s science I swear” is SO frickin funny I’m already losing it

Alix: “scientifically speaking I’m hot therefore you have to lose this arm wrestle” hshdhdghshskkjkdhshs

^literally the kind of nonsense every single teen I know spouts irl

including me when I was a teen, I just said things

(I still just say things)

you can’t bring up the sports bra thing goddammit, I agree it’s cheating because it has the power to one-hit kill anyone in the vicinity

I love how Max thinks his crush on Kim is “under control” while like. visibly swooning over him

OH MY GOD THE PILLOWS SHHDJDHDHDHSKHS

OKAY SO LIKE I was supposed to put the thing about Kim snogging a pillow in chapter 20 but I forgot or something and then I just had to get it in somehow, oh it kills me dead just thinking about it, I’m dying, I’m dead

and the fact that he admits to it as well, holy moly

KIM

K I M

THAT’S GAY

OH WOW

this is the moment when Alix’s Kimax shipper heart was suddenly feeling validated like “omg wait Kim DOES like Max??? like for real??????”

awwwww Kim, Max doesn’t have those kind of superpowers, you just have a crush on him that’s all <3

THE SKATEBOARDING SNEK!!!!!!!!!!!!

“What the heck is that?” “My snake.” DYINGGGG

Kim trying to figure out if the snake is sitting or standing is a whole mood

ohhhhhhhh my gosh poor Alix trying so damn hard to subtly ask Kim if he likes Max and Kim’s just. so DUMB he doesn’t even get it no matter how obvious she is

she’s even trying to pull out those stupid amatonormative “so is he MORE than a friend???” questions just to get this idiot to figure it out because she knows allo-romos are Like That and he still doesn’t get it,,

[future aish says: the word is alloro, past aish. it’s alloro]

AND SO NOW SHE ASSUMES THEY’RE NOT INTO EACH OTHER BECAUSE SHE THINKS EVEN KIM CAN’T BE THAT STUPID

YOU UNDERESTIMATE HIS STUPIDITY

oh no... oh NO.... the letter.... here we go....

btw yes Gabriel had Kim’s grandad assassinated, it was indeed his doing

...isn’t this lowkey the plot of The Lion King?

or Long Live The Queen

hmmm let’s just say in the sequel poor Kim really will have to deal with the stresses of ruling a country >:D

NO MY POOR SON HAVING A BREAKDOWN, I WANT TO HUG HIM

(also can I just say like... this chapter is actually well-written for the most part? I’m actually kinda impressed)

unfortunately I know the feeling of wanting, needing to return home, but it fills you with dread... *hugs Kim forever*

Kim crying all over Max both hurts me and sort of heals me because Max is so sweet and comforting about it ohhh my heeeaaart

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

THIS IS LOWKEY A LOVE CONFESSION I SWEAR, IT’S SO CUTE

chapter 32 being called “Un chat noir” is kinda dumb af but also it just so happened that I accidentally had the chapter called “Coccinelle” be chapter 64, aka exactly double of 32, so that was kinda neat

Plagggggg!!!!!!!!!!

and Wayhem lol, I think I’ve already mentioned how originally this noble was just some random irrelevant unnamed OC until I decided way later it’s gay stalker fanboy

oh yeah that’s how the nobility recognize the royalty, I forgot lol

(also nobles from countries with widespread newspress or tv will recognize them from news reports and stuff I guess)

the fact that Plagg just hates Wayhem is funny to me for some reason

MISADVENTURES

HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY THREW IN THE ACTUAL WORD

except it was in reference to Adrien... let’s just say that The Misadventures of Imperial Prince Adrien may or may not make an appearance in the sequel >:D

...the Adrienette is literally just in this fic so that people would read it, ngl

hhhhhhhhhhhh okay it’s true Alix is an aro idiot who doesn’t know anything about romance but for once she’s RIGHT, Kim IS in love with Max, but she assumes she’s wrong hshgshdjhdnsnsh

oh my god noooo timeline twin go away and stop giving me nightmares

I still love how they hate each other, that’s some top-notch self-hatred right there and I need to get on their level

[future aish note: no past self!! be nice to yourself!! you are a cool bean!! own it!!]

YOU FOOL... EVERY CLASSMATE WOULD TAKE A SWORD TO THE HAND FOR ALIX, WHY WOULDN’T THEY

ỳïķèš,,,

honestly I probably should stop being lazy and actually go back to like idk chapter 8 and put in an actual monopoly game (it had to have been before the oracle sessions in ch10 at least)

fun fact!! I have indeed very nearly had a fist fight over the last dark blue card in a monopoly game!! also I blatantly cheated, and the main opponent locked someone else (an 8 year old btw) in a cupboard... it was Wild(TM)

me and my irl friend actually came up with the butterfly thing when we were at the cinema once, she made up this random angry gardener OC who stepped on a butterfly after being fired or something lol

I mentioned Rose liking unicorns!!!! before Captain Hardrock!!!!!!!

shdhdhkshs Alix is such a moody emo brat in this fic I adore it

“The only real difference between you and me is one dead butterfly.” goddammit that’s the creepiest fucking thing, I’m genuinely shaking

technically it’s a butterfly’s fault for ALL the timelines which means that we’re all one butterfly away from death at any moment

cheerful stuff

no, no, you’re not trying to block it out on purpose... I’M trying to block it out on purpose bc I’m highkey shamelessly projecting

god I wish my timeline twin would manifest in the astral plane and punch me in the arm too

“Count yourself lucky you’re not a pillow, idiot.” in-context this is contender for Most Cursed Line I Have Ever Written In My Life

and yes Alix was about to straight-up swear

Mylène rollerskating is extremely blessed and good

pfffffffff Max you coward, I stand on swivel chairs all the time

*me, chanting at the spider in my room* KIMAX! KIMAX! KIMAX!

Kim literally making every excuse to not put Max down is amazing honestly

Kim and Max’s origins story is sooooooooooo cute wtf

THIS IS SO BLESSED OH MY HEART

HE’S JUST STANDING THERE CUDDLING HIM I’M

DECEASED

I,,,, swear to god,,,,,,,

so like. I know it’s now canon in the show that Kim really is as oblivious to his feelings as I wrote him in this. but MY GOD. IT’S FRIGGIN PAINFUL

KIM YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH MAX, FULL HOMO, THAT’S WHY YOU’RE FEELING LIKE THIS, IT’S NOT THAT COMPLICATED DAMMIT

oh yeah I wrote the kimax bits rly early and my old url was @queenkubdel haha

aight now a no-kimax chapter, but at least it’s a goodun

there’s that catradora-esque weather girls frenemyship again

Kim having a full-on breakdown when he finds out Alix’s hair isn’t really pink is actually really blessed, no lemme explain

so this universe has magic, right?? so he thinks to himself that the reason his friend has pink hair is because she must be some sort of anime protagonist or Really Important and Cool or something, and it never even occurred to him to doubt her

in other words he’s betrayed because he WANTED HIS FRIEND TO BE A COOL SHONEN HERO

which is both hilarious AND very sweet

...oh wait I’ve scrolled down and it turns out I literally explained all that in the fic itself hhdgjdvzjdjhs

and yeah honestly I can’t blame poor Kim for taking it so badly, he’s still reeling from his grandfather’s assassination so it’s natural his emotions are not exactly Regulated atm

actually when are his emotions ever regulated

1703-1899 hm... might change that since the fic takes place in 1957-1960 so even though it’s a commissioned history of the empire it was before Gabriel was even born so like why would he even care lmao

“Great Western Ocean” so pretentious, just say the Atlantic omg

I’ve been playing way too much civ because the first thing that came to mind was that everyone’s denounced Agreste due to the high warmongering penalties of the industrial/modern eras

Chloé and Kim is one hell of a brotp okay I still firmly believe that

also Chloé still loves her rococo fashion, she’s just toned it down enough that she can fit through doors and it’s not quite as “in your face” towards commoners

listen I know in the show Kim still liked Chloé for a while after Dark Cupid but in this he got over her quicker because his crush on her wasn’t as deep in the first place

Kim literally tells Chloé he gave the brooch to Max and yet STILL doesn’t realize he likes him!!! KIM!!!!!!!!!!

Chlodemption arc yesssssssss

also she’s a lesbeean

(ye Pollen will be in the sequel don’t you worry)

god I’m so proud of her <3

it feels believable too, so I’m proud of myself!! (I’m trying to be nice to myself before next chapter where I will no doubt roast myself so badly I’ll never recover)

outdated laws about marriage... jeez was that cursed foreshadowing or what

YES IT’S IVAN, I LOVE THIS BOY, HE’S SO GRUMPY AND ANGRY ALL THE TIME AND HE HATES KIM

...actually wait this is sibling culture

I literally speak like this to my brother and he’s my best friend so in conclusion Ivan thinks of Kim as an annoying brother

Jalil why are you a historian. just go be a psychologist and stop your sister accidentally hecking up the country

omg the Antarctica thing, I’m just imagining Jalil in the freezing cold with a massive coat on and getting chased by penguins

I love how the timeline twin’s plan was “escape school, force Adrien to get a venomous pet, then abandon him immediately in the middle of nowhere” and later on it turns out she skipped step two and just ditched him lmaoooooo

being so ace that your brain goes straight to “death and murder” before anything else is the biggest mood, I speak from experience

Jalil knows... he had that conversation with Kim in chapter 20... he Knows

“a bit unsupportive” um that is an extreme understatement good grief he was more savage than ME

RISE OF THE KIMAX SHIPPERS

oh don’t worry the venom death still haunts me too

chapter I Hate You... “A rather rotten winter party” well it should have been named A RATHER ROTTEN CHAPTER DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPOSSIBLE THIS ONE WAS TO WRITE OMG I HATE WRITING MYSELF INTO CORNERS

you see I had to have a motive for the timeline twin to explain things properly so that I could put in a really really dumb pun later but that meant I had to unfortunately suffer many allergic reactions again

[future aish note: forgot to mention, i also needed a motive for kim to stop eating chocolate forever, so i had to Curse this chapter as a sacrifice in order to save his life later on]

alright, alright, here we go, I’ll stop procrastinating and just get this over with

oh yeah it’s chapters like these that the fic’s rated T lol

the Adrikim friendship is indeed important... for later... like, plot-relevant levels of important... life-saving levels...

“some event” is the Peace Ball actually and I can’t wait because that chapter’s actually a good one

KIM BRAGGING ABOUT KISSING ADRIEN LAST YEAR IS SO FUCKING FUNNY OH MY GOD I’M LOSING MY MIND???

like last year he was LITERALLY LIKE “oh boo hoo I cannot tell anyone about this because Adrien is Ã Bøyê” and now he’s just like “yeah I kissed a hot boy and what about it???”

to be fair he is on an extreme sugar rush from all the chocolate he ate, which will... be a plot point in just a moment...

PILLOW GIRLFRIEND

I’m the amused nobles, they are me

oh my god Kim we get it you want to kiss someone (Max) and you don’t want to outright say it

holy shit do any of these kids ever think before they speak??? not to sound like the timeline twin or anything but alix... you could have avoided this if you’d bothered to use your one (1) brain cell

[future aish note: bold of me to assume that alix has a brain cell]

Kim wants to now fight his PARALLEL SELF oh my god, get on my level Kim, I want to fight my actual self like right now so there

stfu all of you, this is poisoning my liver

Max is the biggest mood and at least mildly sensible thank god, but he really shouldn’t have left those two alone for even a second

I AGREE PLATONIC LOVE IS UNDERRATED

the chair... the fucking c h a i r... I’m already lying down but I need to lie down harder just to process the absurdity of this

(I think I was gonna have Alix fall off the chair just because that’s hilarious but I forgot)

look I can’t take heartrate seriously but if you ever write it then you are legally required to put in kissing contests or you’re doing it wrong

fudgin Adrienette kiss offscreen and irrelevant

DJWIFI!!! AND ACTUAL PROPER DJWIFI!!!! I was sick of seeing it treated as some kind of pair-the-spares beta couple so I flipped the script and had them literally call out that trope while treating Adrienette as irrelevant instead, which is also why the sequel will be extremely djwifi-centric

“super swanky bae” please stop misusing commoner slang I’m begging you

THERE’S THE PLOT POINT I WAS TALKING ABOUT

Theo was right here, he witnessed with his own eyes how much chocolate Kim ate, so he knows for a fact that if you give Kim chocolate he will scarf it down without a second thought... so hypothetically if one sent him poisoned chocolates... dyou see where I’m going with this...

oh and Theo still has like every job btw

Alya!!!! no!!!!! hire him again!!!!!!!! then he won’t send the chocolates!!!!!!!!!! aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

there goes me hinting how alyadrininette is the ultimate ot4 again

...do I really wanna scroll down and keep going? no I don’t but I guess I gotta, and relive every one of my most embarrassing school sleepovers in the process

full offence to everyone bothering to read this but kissing sounds gross, actually

(for the record it was probably like... 10 seconds or something idk it was Not Long At All)

“probably not more than 5 minutes” omg I just said it was 10 seconds??? hmmm m okay like 20 seconds maaaybe, Kim just has no sense of time perception

neither do I based on my microwaving skills

SHIT THIS IS LITERALLY A SCHOOL SLEEPOVER

INNOCENT DUMBASS AROACE ASKING “what does that mean? what’s this? what’s that? it’s okay you can tell me :-)”

omg I forgot the snake was there ahshdhdkshfs I’m the snake, probably wants to launch itself out of the window so big mood

most of the fic so far had Alix being really aro so I was like damn... gotta make her really ace too

(if I ever bother writing the Kimdine AU then you actually get an aro character who isn’t ace, because we need more of them, but I won’t say who) (okay fine it’s Luka)

I tend not to be too British in my writing so as not to give the Americans heart attacks whenever they see someone referring to their mother as “mum” etc, but like... sometimes you just gotta throw in the word “snogging”

(I’m typing this out on my phone rn and it has exactly 69% battery, I hate this and also hate that I felt the need to mention that)

THE HOCKEY THING MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN BASED OFF A REAL LIFE THING. *SWEATS NERVOUSLY*

honestly I was soooooo tempted to actually write The Talk bit, it would have been the funniest thing ever, but I was also 99% sure I would have to change the rating to M (despite it not even remotely being smut lol, just a regular biology lesson) and there was no way I was doing that, pretty sure I pushed the T rating at some points as it is

[future aish: god i am still so tempted to write it. man, i’m tempted. it would be the funniest thing. but no... i have sworn not to write anything above a T rating so guess i won’t.]

YEAH THE THROWING UP THING TOO WAS DEFINITELY NOT BASED ON REAL LIFE OR ANYTHING *MORE NERVOUS SWEATING*

(it genuinely wasn’t a flowerpot though. it’s my life’s goal to throw up in a flowerpot and I still haven’t achieved it.)

all of this is an Ace Mood(TM)

also I love how elaborately I’ve worded this, like yeah idiot royal teenagers are too royal and posh to ever bother just saying the word “sex” like a normal person

to any 17 year old aces: you aren’t too young to know, I told myself that aggressively when I was 17 but now I’m 22 and I’m still just as ace as I always was sooooo yeah

I also hope I can wake up tomorrow and forget I read this trash

well tbh... it’s not total trash... it highkey reminds me of my school days, like, maybe that was subconscious or something... god who even knows

jeez if timeline twin slapped me in the face I’d just keel over and die from sheer terror, other than that that’s HILARIOUS

timeline twin: “YOU HAVE ONE (1) BRAIN CELL NOW P L E A S E CONSIDER USING IT”

fuckeninf hell listen,,, so when I was writing this chapter I didn’t know I was aro... I mean, I was kinda questioning it?? but all I knew was I was ace, and that me not knowing that as a teenager almost totally screwed me over because like

to be normal or to feel normal there’s things you do or say that you don’t want, and things you know would happen or whether you want something or not you’ll take it because you think you’re expected to, because otherwise you’ll have to confront yourself with the fact that something is wrong with you and you don’t know what or why or how to fix it

and being aro on top of that is misunderstanding how to navigate close friendships because of this fundamental fear that if you want to be close with someone then friendship can’t suffice, that how much you care about them doesn’t matter

and things I did or almost did, or had the chance to do and only stopped because (awfully enough) crippling anxiety which ironically saved me (let’s just say the dude turned out to be a creep)... yeah basically this is all a callback to that aroace teenager feel where you can’t help not being true to yourself because you don’t want to, because you don’t know what’s wrong or right, only what’s “normal” and the ache of knowing that you’re not, no matter how much you try

and I didn’t know I was aro while writing this but in hindsight it’s easy to see how that played into it too, and writing this definitely played a part in me realizing I’m aro and was somehow trying to work through some very pent-up feelings about friendship and closeness with people, as well as pent-up feelings about being ace and how that tied into everything too

...in short, do not phuck the pharaoh or you will get HOUSE ARRESTED and DIE

(jk jk she’ll just be awkward around you forever lol, and then SHE’LL get house arrested and die, because you’re not commoners so your actions actually have consequences you dumb idiots)

this entire thing is just a whole mood and lowkey my teenage years holy fuck holy fuck I hate that I’m only just realizing how bloody hard I was projecting

I literally read a post the other day about how unrequited love is only ever usually explored from the perspective of the person who’s in love, whereas aros are usually on the receiving end of it and it’s a tragedy in its own right that you might do things that wind up driving you apart because you can’t bring yourself to love them back but you can’t tell them because of the fear that it’ll push them away... and I gotta say, I totally nailed it 💪

...you know what I’ve changed my mind, chapter 34 is good actually, and now I need to make a time machine and go and hug my 17 year old self for living this, and then hug my 20 year old self for writing this, I’m sorry I was mean to this chapter it’s very relatable and I shouldn’t keep beating myself up over it

thinking makes me miserable too!! that’s why it’s optimistic nihilism only lads

impulse control, hmmm... someone who’s good for him, hmmmmmm... it’s almost like someone like that is right there and exists and is already in love with him 😏

so apparently timeline twin’s idea of “fixing her life” is burning all her bridges and then hecking off to the Kazakh wilderness for over a year

did Alix just... ask the snake if it’s aroace too???

I mean it definitely is, but...

UGH SNAKES DON’T BLINK, I’M STILL SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS

chapter 35, thank god, the title “Finally!” is very apt

(because I can finally change the music from Death Valley to something else lol)

oh poor Max, his heart goes on a real rollercoaster these few chapters doesn’t it? it’s okay buddy, in like 10 chapters you’ll get your man...

NO BUT SHE H A S FIGURED IT OUT!!! SORT OF!!!

I just misread “despite” as “despacito”, I’m going to bed and continuing this tomorrow dammit

alright I am now funky refreshed and ready to roll, let’s get this kimax party started

Max is angsting internally like “no one’s realized I like Kim :( well except Juleka but she’s a lesbian so she doesn’t count” ashgdjsghskk that mlm/wlw solidarity is holding out I see

YES ALIX YOU DO NEED TO TALK TO NATH MORE, THAT’S YOUR FREAKING BEST BUD IN THE SHOW MAY I REMIND YOU

this is all so Irony it’s murdering me dead

okay yeah I’m gonna be really honest and salty here for a second, this bit where Max is annoyed that Alix takes Nath more seriously as a contender than him was me being a bit salty over the fact that like... kimnath/tomato ketchup is a great rarepair but got so weirdly popular amongst people who didn’t seem to care about Max as a character at all despite how close he is with Kim in canon, and as a Max Stan it made me sad because he’s already not very appreciated in fandom

[future aish note: HE IS NOW BABEY!]

THERE IT IS

I WANT TO HUG MAX TOO, BLESS HIM

I also want to hug Alix because godddds I’ve been in that situation where if you were allowed to just TELL the idiots that they like each other then all their problems would be solved but noooo, you’re sworn to secrecy... *sigh*

“I’ll make sure that doesn’t change, ever...” me: *thinks about the sequel and cackles evilly while cracking my knuckles* well,,

A R O M A N T I C

listen it was VERY IMPORTANT to me that I actually put in all these actual words in the fic and made them relevant, like gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc (I think the only one I didn’t was trans, oops?? gotta remember that for the sequel, at least Nino IS trans in this even though I never said the word)

[future aish note: i feel like i didn’t say pan either, or nonbinary... more stuff for the sequel folks! i can’t put in everything but i may as well try!]

bc you see all these tv shows where a character is bi but they say they “don’t like labels” or a character with no love interest get suddenly paired up with someone random at the end... like NO I wanted to do the OPPOSITE of that bc people’s identities are IMPORTANT so I wanted to MAKE IT RELEVANT 💪

and even though I didn’t yet know here that I was aro and highkey projecting, there’s already a fair few fics dealing with asexuality but not aromanticism?? so I rly wanted to make the aro side of things important

almost relieved??? Max, you buffoon, she IS relieved, extremely

Malix friendship is good and severely underrated and I still haven’t forgiven myself for not putting more of it in this

“He was never eating chocolate again” HO-HO-HOLY SHIT THAT’S SOME FORESHADOWING RIGHT THERE

Rose is a distinguished bi who doesn’t realize Kim is a disaster bi

Kim oh my god you can’t just out Adrien “just about functional bi” Agreste like that

I love that Rose calls Kim a casanova even though he’s very much not... how many people are even into him over the course of the fic? Max, Adrien, it’s implied Marinette used to be, Lila is ambiguous, same with the lacrosse guy later, oh yeah Ondine highkey lmao along with 90% of the teenage population of Saharan Africa, Kim himself in about 2 chapters time...

Rose giving Kim the gay talk is so blessed omg I need more interaction between these two

“If you swung one way you were gay, if you swung the other way you were straight, more than one way made you bisexual, if you didn’t swing any way at all then you were probably just Alix...” I will literally NEVER be able to outdo this line, this is Peak

hmm I don’t think at any point in the fic Max says to Kim that he’s exclusively into boys... I guess he said it offscreen then lol, point is He’s Gay

OMG KIM, YOU FINALLY REALIZED WHAT THE NOSEBLEED SCENE MEANT, GOD BLESS YOU

this is like in Syren when he realizes the mermaid is Ondine and that she was trying to tell him she likes him... except this is the gay version of that

yeah Rose I really do need to get more sleep, that one was directed at me and I know it was

Kim being all like “fellas is it gay if you take off your shirt and a guy swoons at you 🤔🤔🤔”

no, no... Max is definitely a complete trainwreck at romance, just slightly less than you

god freaking dammit not the sports bra again,,, I s2g later in the fic all Ondine would have had to do is to show up in a sports bra and Kim would immediately go full ot3 mode no questions asked,,,,,,,, (I mean he does see her in a swimsuit but that’s not the same??? sports bras are in a different league okay shush)

psssssst!!! you should read heartbroken!!!! it’s a kimax fic and it’s so good!!!!! this was a lowkey shoutout!!!!!!!!

genuinely tho, even if Kim hadn’t liked Max too here, he’s being so sweet about it?? he’s worried about his poor friend’s emotional state and wishes he could have done better to help!! gahhhh their friendship/relationship is just So Blessèd

hsndhkdhdkshdh I only noticed it after finishing the fic and occasionally skimming back through, but so much of the time whenever Alix shows up Kim’s all like *ungrateful* “oh not you again” like WOW that’s one way to greet your friend?? mood tho

[future aish note: i did the exact opposite in No Romo, funnily enough! kim’s not in it much but whenever he sees alix he’s like “friend!!! friend!!!!!” and she’s just like -_- “oh it’s that guy again”]

he’s not even paying attention to her omg she’s trying to save the timeline here you idiot

POOR ALIX how frustrating,,, and also I’ve literally been there,,, the woes of being a wing-girl indeed

and now Kim wants to fight himself, why am I not surprised

aND YES HERE’S WHERE IT HITS HIM, THE EXACT FUCKING MOMENT

WHERE HE’S SUDDENLY LIKE “OH WAIT MAX’S LOVE FOR ME ISN’T UNREQUITED??? I LIKE HIM TOO HOLY SHIT????”

aaaaaaand he immediately asks the aro for love advice, why is he like this omg

gosh this is sooooo sweeeeeet

I did not let up, did I? just went ahead and made this as cheesy and cutesy and over the top as I could because It’s What Kimax Deserves

(there wasn’t rly much Kimax content yet in the fandom at this point so I had total free reign and went all-out with it)

sfjsgskdhs and there goes Alix getting her wing-efforts sidelined again

“I’m never asking out someone on a whim again. Or, uh, confessing that I like someone on a whim either.” so uh... you know how I said I’m considering making the sequel Kimaxdine? well if I do then uh. hm. this might change. because reasons.

I don’t know why I made nothing Alix ever says make sense but I’m glad I did because she’s so freaking funny

I swear I talk about Max’s eyes being “magnified in his glasses” multiple times in this fic, either that or I’m having serious deja vu

Kim’s so cute dammit!!! now that he knows he likes Max he’s just swooning over every little thing and it’s!!!! adorable!!!!!

(I wonder if this is how it was with Kimdine in the show? it does seem like Kim already liked her but just hadn’t noticed...)

huehuehuehue Kim later on you do indeed recklessly propose to Max on the spot... in like 18 chapters or so

also the fact that Kim thinks things through better when he’s around Max is just the total sweetest and also what Alix was basically trying to aim for

I love Kim showing off that he can pack all his stuff in half an hour like buddy, the porters can literally help you with that, you’re royalty remember

omg I’d forgotten I left a note here later for binge-readers!! being all like “drink water and eat food and go to sleep uwu”

lmao guess I’ll take my own advice then and leave it there for now

[future aish note: same, goodnight]

#smalluns proceed with caution. it's T rated remember #it's not dodgy though. just evil and cursed #anyway i'm going to sleep now for like 12 hours #random stuff #misadventures #if you're on the mobile app and the keep reading glitches and you have to scroll then i'm sorry #this is under a cut on desktop i promise

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preserving-ferretbrain · 6 years ago

Text

Actually I Quite Liked It

by Wardog

Thursday, 10 September 2009

Wardog has *also* been reading Sarah Rees Brennan's The Demon's Lexicon...~

I guess I have some kind of semi, self-destructive obsession with books written by ex-members of the Harry Potter fandom, and I’m wondering whether I need to get treatment for it. Although I think a healthier way of looking at it may be that I’m still desperately seeking an antidote to

Cassandra Clare

. Today’s victim is The Demon’s Lexicon, written by Sarah Rees Brennan. As usual, I am vaguely aware of The Name, but from what little I have read of her on the internet, I’ve had her pegged in my head as “basically the narrator from I Capture the Castle.” The problem with extremely charming people is that they always bring out the worst in me. It’s partially jealousy, I'm sure, but it tends to result in me getting up some kind private, psychological “We Shall Not Be Charmed” protest on the sidelines of their life. I mention this in the spirit of full disclosure because I went into The Demon’s Lexicon all wrong, not wanting to like it. And I came out of it really bloody impressed.

Sarah Rees Brennan: 1

Kyra: 0

The plot of The Demon’s Lexicon is actually pretty complicated, and I shall try to shade in the important bits without giving away the cool twists of which they are, well, one but it’s a goodun. Nick and Alan have spent their life on the run because their mother was once in love with a powerful magician called Black Arthur (

hee hee

). Needless to say, powerful magicians do not take it well you leave them, taking with you a powerful magical item, so he drove his lover mad and has been in hot pursuit ever since. Their mother fled to her ex, a good, normal kind of guy who took her in and protected her … and, of course, died in the process, leaving Nick and Alan to grow up as best they could, fighting for survival and dealing with their genuinely very batshit mum. In Brennan’s setting, magicians are humans who, discovering they have some fragments of magical power, feed other humans to demons for more power. Demons hang out on the edges of the world, desperate for a human host (which is not so great actually for the human in question, since it inevitably leads to a speedy, unpleasant death).

The plot of the book kicks off when a brother and sister, Mae and Jamie, come to Nick and Alan for help because Jamie (who is a gay, because it is impossible for anybody who has ever had any connection with fandom ever not to include a gay in their books) has been marked by a demon. While they’re trying to, semi-reluctantly, deal with this, Alan is also marked by a demon and things spiral in an exciting direction from there.

The book is narrated entirely from Nick’s POV and, ye gods, what a difficult POV it is. He’s cold, ruthless, unemotional, hostile and extremely unlikeable. His dominant mood seems to be anger, and although you can understand it, given the sort of life he’s forced to lead, it’s still intensely wearing. Ultimately you have to respect Brennan’s commitment to her thoroughly grim protagonist. I’m slightly bewildered by all the fangirly reviews which comprise, in the main, breathless declarations of adoration for Nick, and endless squees about how much they’d like to give him a hug. I do wonder if we were reading the same book because I’d walk the other way, very quickly indeed, maybe even run. Of course, I’m in the wrong age and sanity bracket (although given a choice I’d be all about Mae, thanks so very much) to properly appreciate two hot sixteen year old brothers. By the end of the book, you do get more insight into Nick’s character, and why he is the way he is, which helps, but he’s never going to be a basket of kittens. (Also, seriously, if this is the kind of guy you’re into, see the school counsellor, immediately young ladies!).

Brennan handles him very well indeed, keeping him right there on the verge of being unbearable and, when he finally crosses over it, contextualising his thoughts and actions just enough that you keep reading, hoping against hope that he’ll maybe snap out of it and do the right thing. Even though we only ever gets Nick’s, very limited, often bewildered perspective on events and characters, Brennan still manages to paint detailed, convincing portraits of the supporting cast. I think it’s quite a remarkably deft technique: communicating emotions through a protagonist who does not himself understand them. The most important dynamic in the book is that between the brothers, Alan and Nick. It’s banter heavy served on a bed of freshly tossed angst, garnished by a light sprinkling of brotherly love, evoking the early day of Supernatural (before it degenerated into endless repetitions of “I love you Sammy! *manly sob*”) At first Alan seems the opposite of Nick in every respect – he is as kind as Nick is harsh, as sociable as Nick is misanthropic – but as the book unfolds the interest lies in marking their similarities rather than their differences. Although he is easily “nicer” than Nick, in his way Alan is just as cold and just as ruthless. Jamie is Harmless Homosexual #32, sensitive and anxious, hiding his pain and fear beneath a façade of humour:

“So-where’s your dad?” Nick slammed the fridge door. “He died.” “Oh.” Now Jamie had the look of a deer caught in the headlights, who for some reason was feeling really sad for the car. “Oh I’m so sorry.” “Why?” Nick snapped, opening cupboards just so he could bang them closed and express his fury at people who did not know when to shut up. “You didn’t know him. Why should you care?” “Um. Empathy? Jamie suggested.

All right, so he’s kind of adorable. I don’t know if Brennan is trying to accommodate slashers but he clearly fancies Nick in an “I will never be allowed to get any ever” kind of way. Still, at least he isn’t purple and sparkly like Mangus Bane. Thank God. Although, seriously, let the kid get out of lavender shirts. Not all gay men are fabulous, okay?

Mae, on the other hand, I really did like. As the only woman in the novel, except Batshit!Mum, she’s bearing a heavy responsibility not to be awful. She’s starts off as quite stereotypical heroine material (pink-haired and feisty) but thankfully she soon emerges as a strong, determined and capable human being in her own right. For someone cast in an alien and hostile world, she does damn well. She is neither perfect nor superspecial, she’s occasionally vulnerable, and she makes mistakes. But she’s also rock-solid. I loved the fact she's sensible and confident and as committed to Jamie, in her way, as Alan and Nick are committed to each other. As the only chance anyone has of getting laid without turning gay, she is, needless to say, the epicentre of the book’s sexual tension. On the other hand she actually manages to navigate it gracefully:

He reached out with lazy intent to touch her hair, and she grabbed his wrist an instant before he touched her. “Think a lot of yourself, don’t you?” Nick blinked. “I thought-“ “You think you can use me as a way to punish Alan,” said Mae. “I noticed.” “That wouldn’t be the only reason,” Nick told her, leaning against the willow by her side. The bark was rough against his bare skin. “Oh no?” asked Mae. “What’s the other reason?” Nick smiled a small smile that someone watching them would not have been able to see. It touched his lips and lingered for a moment, private and promising. “Might be fun.” “I don’t think so,” said Mae. She stepped away from him. Her eyes were narrowed. “I’m not stupid,” she said. “I’m attracted to you, I could be attracted to Alan but what does it matter? I’ve been attracted to people before. I’m not looking to settle down, and I’m not territory to be fought over in your little war. I won’t let myself be used and I won’t let whatever crisis you’re having hurt my brother’s chance to live.”

Go Mae! I like reading about pretty, angsty boys having angst and being pretty as much as the next girl but I’m increasingly impatient with novels with next to no female characters in them. Brennan seems at least as interested in Mae as she is in the rest of her cast. The focus on Nick and Alan’s unravelling family life means that she was slightly under-used but I am entirely hopeful more of Mae’s awesomeness in future books.

Despite trotting along at a reasonable pace, The Demon’s Lexicon not the most action-packed novel. There are some exciting moments but its main developments and revelations are firmly anchored in the characters. Basically, if you like Alan, Nick, Mae and Jamie, you’ll like The Demon’s Lexicon, otherwise there’s nothing much to draw you. I will say this though: Brennan can really write an ending. Probably because I went in with relatively low expectations, the misdirection fairy led me a merry dance and then my TINY MIND WAS BLOWN.

Brennan has quite a spare, dialogue-reliant style, but it works well for the novel, despite being occasionally a trifle cliched, especially since Nick isn’t exactly the verbose and flowery type. Also throughout the novel the juxtaposition of the banal with the weird and outlandish works very well – for example, the book opens with Nick trying to a fix a leak in the sink because he keeps his favourite sword under there. I rather appreciated Gerald the magician as well. You’d think it would be hard to be even remotely scared of a person called Gerald but he actually becomes quite threatening, almost precisely because of how ‘normal’ he seems.

The magician had a shock of sandy hair, standing up on his head and then falling into his eyes like the petals on a rather floppy daffodil, and beneath the sandy mop he had a narrow, inquisitive face…. He opened wide grey eyes, blinked and looked dismayed. “Oh Lord,” said the magician. “Now I am in the soup.”

The Demon’s Lexicon is surprisingly dark story, despite all the witty wisecracking and sexual tension. The world Nick and Alan inhabit is a genuinely nasty place. I liked the stark morality of it as well. Although demons are complex creatures with complex needs, magicians are human beings who feed other human beings to demons. They are, without a shadow of a doubt, just plain bad. I’m not sure to what extent this is meant to excuse or simplify the fact that both Alan and Nick are killers are in their own right but I think it allows Brennan to have a pair of protagonists who are willing, and forced, to do some extreme things to protect themselves, without turning them into monsters or insisting that they’re saints. (I’m vaguely reminded of that wonderful Harry Potter video which, sadly, I can’t remember anything about bar the content – it’s basically clip after clip after clip of Harry attacking people with his wand, after which Dumbledore explains very gently that his gift is “love, Harry.”)

Occasionally, however, it doesn’t quite work. We learn that the only way to remove a demon mark is to kill a magician and paint over the mark in their blood. About halfway through they do actually succeed in catching a magician. We are told that Nick and Alan have killed magicians before but nevertheless the plot seems to demand they dance around this one like a pair of utter pansies, allowing him to escape. Of course, there’s a fair degree to dither over – both Alan and Jamie have marks that need removal and there’s a general feeling that Gerald might have some information that would be useful. But, although Brennan insists that Nick has not problem with killing and/or torturing Gerald, they fail to prioritise either in a really troublesome way. I’m not saying that I wanted to watch Nick torture a magician – I’m not sure if that might not have put him morally a little too far out of the grey and into the just plain wrong – but I wish Brennan could have brought this scene to its natural conclusion in a slightly more convincing way, instead of suddenly having a group of people who are nothing if not competent turn inept for no apparent reason.

The Demon’s Lexicon is an extremely competent debut novel, that handles its complicated plot and its complex characters and it’s difficult point of view very maturely indeed. You can tell that it’s a first novel, and there is a touch of fanservice about it here and there, but I really enjoyed reading it. I could have done with a touch more action and a touch less angst, a touch more Mae and a touch less brotherly love, and just a tinsy winsy let up on the wisecracking but I’m definitely interested to see where Brennan will take it.

Themes:

Books

Sci-fi / Fantasy

Young Adult / Children

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~Comments (

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Arthur B

at 13:19 on 2009-09-10

Nick and Alan have spent their life on the run because their mother was once in love with a powerful magician called Black Arthur (hee hee).

THAT'S RACIST D:

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Sister Magpie

at 19:23 on 2009-09-10I enjoyed this very much too. And as I understand it, the second book is from Mae's pov.

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Wardog

at 20:39 on 2009-09-10Is it really? WEEEEEE!

That makes me really happy.

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http://roisindubh211.livejournal.com/

at 20:22 on 2009-09-13I liked Nick. Not in a "oh I want to hug him and then take his clothes off" kind of way, but in a "I can appreciate a ruthless bastard" kind of way. If your life depends on you killing people before they get to you and your family, angst only gets in the way and makes you stupid at plot convenient moments.

I like Nick a lot better than Alan, actually- since he doesn't really feel anything, and only cares about Alan's life, you always know exactly where he's coming from. Alan can be loving, kind, worried, etc., but he's also a ruthless bastard who can lie and manipulate for whatever ends he serves, good or bad. I can see Alan turning evil a lot sooner than Nick, mostly because he has to compartmentalize, "ok, this is bad, but it prevents this which is worse" or whatever, while Nick is all "I like killing magicians. I like killing anyone who looks at my brother funny. And anyone who suggests that's wrong is really stupid." (Maybe I see a little too much of myself in Nick; I can be plenty compassionate and empathetic, but I totally retreat into hardshelled thing in upsetting situations)

Also, I think a lot of the dithering over killing a magician was a combination of

1. they needed to kill two of them without getting caught themselves; usually they move on after one

2. I'm pretty sure the magician had to be not dead but dying for the blood to work (that's the impression I got at that scene, anyway). I'm not sure Nick is good at the "attack without obliterating" bit.

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Robinson L

at 00:02 on 2009-09-15Mae does sound pretty cool, and the attitude toward human relationships displayed in that excerpt is a lot more mature than most of the stuff I've read. Still don't know if I'm interested enough to read the book though, especially after seeing

Viorica's reaction

(I’m vaguely reminded of that wonderful Harry Potter video which, sadly, I can’t remember anything about bar the content – it’s basically clip after clip after clip of Harry attacking people with his wand, after which Dumbledore explains very gently that his gift is “love, Harry.”)

Would that be

this one

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Viorica

at 02:06 on 2009-09-15Man, I love ThatGuyWithTheGlasses. He always manages to highlight exactly what's wrong with what he's criticising.

I guess my biggest problem with the book is that it has nothing new to offer. Usually I tend to enjoy stuff that has some kind of new take on things, but this book just seemed to be a rehash of stuff I'd seen before. The close

Supernatural

parallels were just the icing on the unoriginality cake; when I realized that I could categorize each character after they'd had less than ten lines, I knew that I wasn't going to be entertained.

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Wardog

at 12:40 on 2009-09-15That's the one, I knew somebody would be able to find teh clip again for me! Ah, it's a little piece of sublime brilliance. I love it.

I like Nick a lot better than Alan, actually- since he doesn't really feel anything, and only cares about Alan's life, you always know exactly where he's coming from.

Actually that's precisely the reason I prefer Alan. I like the fact that his ruthlessness and his capacity for manipulation lie alongside gentleness and sociability and a very human need to love and be loved. I think it makes him more interesting, since we know precisely *why* Nick is as ruthless as he is.

Also, I get what you're saying about the magician-dither but I just felt that the scene was not as well handled as it could have been.

I guess my biggest problem with the book is that it has nothing new to offer.

I can see why you didn't like but truthfully I think originality is over-rated. I know that's a horribly glib thing to say (must be chanelling Dan) but actually you tend to know what you're getting with teenage urban fantasy and it's well executed that tends to be good enough for me. Also I think Brennan works well with her relatively unoriginal concepts - I mean, yes, Mae starts off like Wild-Child-By-Numbers but she very soon becomes a genuinely admirable person, I think. Also I think Brennan handles and portrays Nick extremely well - that, in itself, raises the book from the mire of mediocrity.

I'm not arguing with you, I think it's going to be one of those "agree to differ" situations, especially because I can see where all your criticisms spring from but I do think Brennan has more to offer than you give her credit for.

Also, Arkan, you should give a go - it's a fun read and genuinely well-done =P Don't like Viorica here put you off :)

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Robinson L

at 22:36 on 2009-09-16Happy to oblige.

I can see why you didn't like but truthfully I think originality is over-rated. I know that's a horribly glib thing to say (must be channeling Dan) but actually you tend to know what you're getting with teenage urban fantasy and it's well executed that tends to be good enough for me.

I agree;

the unoriginal and familiar can also be enjoyable when well-executed

I also know next to nothing about

Supernatural

, which probably helps. The main problem is that I'm chronically behind on my reading (slow reader endless supply of stuff to read), so I have to pick and choose the stuff which really excites me, or which I'm already into.

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http://roisindubh211.livejournal.com/

at 02:26 on 2009-09-17I think what I meant to say about Alan is that I found him *creepy* and kind of too good to be true at first. I kept getting brought up short by reminders that, despite the charisma, he is a dangerous dangerous dude. I kept thinking, "So what else are you hiding" and "why should Jamie and Mae trust you any more than your brother?"

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Robinson L

at 22:30 on 2009-11-03Thanks for pushing me to read this. I really enjoyed it. (Hate to say it, but I'm 90 pages into

Corbenic

and not enjoying it half as much.)

I would actually argue there are

two

closely related twists, the first of which Viorica spoiled, but the second of which caught me completely off-guard and blew my mind as well.

To my mind, it explains Gerald's escape as well, as killing him would've ruined the plan. Nick didn't know that, but he wasn't really in charge now, was he?

I see what roisindubh211 means about finding Alan creepy. In the first few pages, we learn that although he's extremely personable, he's also, very,

very

good at manipulating people. I doubted Rees Brennan would go that route, but it struck me as a good description of Anti-Social Personality Disorder (more common label: sociopath) ...

I didn't hate Nick, although he did get awfully irksome when he started hating on Alan, too.

Y'know, I find I have an awful lot to say about this book. Do you suppose it'd been unsporting if I submitted my own review, even though you and Viorica have already covered this territory?

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Wardog

at 10:29 on 2009-11-04I'm a bit embarrassed after my gushy reviews that you don't like Catherine Fisher - however, I'm putting it down to your lack of taste ;) To be fair, I don't think she's a very 'modern' style writer - she reminds me of Alan Garner, and Susan Cooper and other such writers who dominated my childhood reading experience (and scared me shitless).

All the same, glad you enjoyed this - and, yes, do feel free to write your own review - can't have too many opinions etc. etc.

I don't think Alan came close to a sociopathetic borderline for me but I think his skill at manipulating others is important to reminding us that the brothers are more alike than they are different ... and that humans have as much capacity to use and abuse other humans as demons do (cf the magicians).

Looking forward to MOAR! :)

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Robinson L

at 15:30 on 2009-11-04I wouldn't say I

dislike

Catherine Fisher (I've been contemplating the distinction between

not liking

and

disliking

since long before

Jamie said his piece

Actually, Susan Cooper is a good example. Like Catherine Fisher, I enjoy her stories (

The Dark is Rising

series, anyway) but can never seem to get properly immersed in them. I guess come to most stories prepared to enjoy them in an abstract way on merit, but a really engaging story needs to hook me in emotionally.

The Demon's Lexicon

pulled that off pretty much from the word go, but

The Dark is Rising

and - so far -

Corbenic

never seemed to manage it.

and, yes, do feel free to write your own review - can't have too many opinions etc. etc.

Expect me to get back to you in ... oh, about three months or so.

The idea of Alan as a sociopath came to me very early, in their first meeting with Mae and Jamie. I think it came around the time I read this paragraph:

It was a testament to Alan's powers of persuasion that they did not laugh in his face. It was a testament to Alan's powers of looking nonthreatening that he could manage it with the door open on their destroyed kitchen, with a corpse on the floor. He rumpled his red hair and adjusted his glasses in an anxious sort of way, and he took a couple of steps back to the kitchen. He let them see the limp: He used that, the same way he used everything.

Okay, in the wrong hands, that kind of charisma can be

seriously

dangerous. Of course, we soon learn - just as I'd expected - that unlike persons with ASPD, Alan really does have a conscience and experiences empathy, so that's all right then, after all.

As you point out, we also learn that he's also a lot more selfish and abusive than he appears at first, which makes for a much more interesting and well-rounded character.

Looking forward to MOAR! :)

So am I, although is anyone else worried that Rees Brennan has written herself into a bit of a corner? I mean, she has to find a way to maintain story continuity without resorting to cop-outs or turning Nick into a complete Deus Ex Machina, or the whole thing will be a washout.

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http://altogetherisi.livejournal.com/

at 16:10 on 2009-12-02I'm aware that this review was written months ago and that there is very little chance anyone will read this comment, but whatever. I just really wanted to point out that the bit in the middle, when Nick and Alan have captured a magician and then seemingly become inept seems wrong because it is in fact wrong; what is actually happening is that Alan has decided to let the magician escape - the ineptitude is entirely intended on his part and manipulated into occuring in Nick by him.

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Wardog

at 18:28 on 2009-12-02No, no, I keep an eye comments - thanks for this. I guess I wasn't paying enough attention, or perhaps it was a question of clarity.

#Ferretbrain #Wardog #The Demon’s Lexicon #Sarah Rees Brennan

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