#this morning i had a very emotional discussion with my best friend and someone we know

[marked-unknown]

ok, i need to rant for a second. don’t mind it

[mymuseagustd]

#3 All I Want Is A Break (Part 2)

Y/N and Yoongi are best friends, then lovers, until he decides he wants to find out what life can be without her.

Pairing: Yoongi x female reader + Taehung and Jungkook

Genre: Non-IdolAU / Angst / Smut 

Warnings: Curse words/ heartache/ Smut

Word count: 3.5K+

PART 1

---

"Baby…" Yoongi's lips were going down my neck, but it was his voice that was pulling me in more. I was sure it was just his voice that could get me off. We hadn't ever tried it, but I was sure if it ever came to the point where only his voice was available, I would still be all set. "Stop dreaming about me when I'm next to you," He bit my chin lightly, pulling me out of my trance.

"Don't call me baby," I slid my hands down his body and groped his still-covered cock when he had me stripped instantly.

"But, you're my baby," He pouted, pushing his lips out. "How will people know you're mine?" his fingers moved in and out of me like they had known their way around my body since forever. They had, and it felt nice to belong to someone. I had seen a house where love was always transactional. With Yoongi, nothing ever was. He always gave, was always patient, and I was so in love with him.

"Okay, you can call me baby. Make sure it's always loud and clear," I pushed him down the bed, so I could get him out of his tight jeans and show him my true devotion to him. "Make everyone hear you, so they know who you belong to as well,"

"Baby…" He moaned, his hands pulling my hair together, as I wrapped my tongue around him, "Baby…."

"BABY!"

My head jerked and hit my bedside table.

"BABY!" Taehyung was yelling from the kitchen, his favourite thing to do when he took up cooking which was very often. I sat up straight and looked around my room. I was spending too much time in it. The sweat on my neck couldn't really confirm my emotion behind the kind of dream I was having, but my body was very frustrated. This was the longest I had gone without any action, and with the accumulating stress, the last two months had not been easy.

"BABY, BABY, BABY!" Tae sang/shouted again.

"Don't call me baby." I groaned, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water.

"Finally! You're up! You've been sleeping all morning, and I'm making fajitas," He was awfully chirpy for 2 PM.

"My body is too pent up. I think I need to take some dancing classes to get it moving cause the gym is making it worse," I sat down on the counter, treating myself to some sour cream with some leftover chips.

"I think you need to get fucked," Tae said nonchalantly.

I paused, "you think I should go ask Yoongi for some? We didn't really discuss this break…"

"No, you broke up with him. It was evident he has moved on when we all saw him at the club. You need someone new," I gulped as Tae spoke. He realised my discomfort, "Look, Y/N, I'm not going to lie to you and make it sound like it is better than what's reality. I hate seeing you like this, though. And we have discussed this. His asking for a break was unfair. And, even though you have painted an amazing picture of him for us, he is still not out that door asking you back."

"I know, I know," I nodded. We had discussed this a lot. "I just am not ready for a relationship."

"Relationship? No one is recommending that. No, you have been with one guy your entire life! And healing that scar will need a lot of therapy which, by the way, congratulations for starting, but there are one-night stands, rendezvous, situationships waiting to be explored. Please don't get a boyfriend, get a fuck-friend."

"Ooooh, like Nadia…" I smirked. Nadia was very interested in learning the ins and outs of the course she was sharing with Tae and was not against studying the ins and outs of Tae. The poor girl was infatuated with him, and Tae was playing the classic fuckbuddy.

"Yeah, exactly like Nadia!" This poor boy was so clueless.

"Okay, I will let you know when I am ready for a rendezvous, is it?" I said, disgusted. "Gross, what is wrong with you?" I walked off.

"It's what it's called!" He laughed.

—

"Jae, I really don't want to meet anyone new. Trust me!" Yoongi wanted to clarify, but Jae was too excited to meet the girls he had met at his internship. Yoongi repeated it twice in the car and then at the club, but Jae was not receptive.

"Tia! Hey baby! Here lemme introduce you to my friend, Yoongi!" Tia was a design major from the same university, and even though she was lovely and sexy in the little black dress she wore, Yoongi was not interested. He wasn't rude, though, so he introduced himself and kept talking to her through the night.

They were laughing about something insignificant when Maria came up wanting to take pictures. Yoongi instinctively put his arms around her, stopping her from falling as he made her laugh again. The pictures were clicked, and Tia tightened his arm around her, bringing herself closer. Yoongi was a bit surprised. It wasn't like he wasn't offered chances to be with other women, but no one had been that forward. Usually, Y/N was with him, so the territories were always established, more by him for her, than for himself. Y/N, she was..is gorgeous, he thought. She could light up a party just by walking into it. Made everyone feel included, except when she was nervous, like she had been with his new friends, and that's when she kept herself very close to him. He liked how she fit into his body like she was just made for him. Tia kept coming closer to Yoongi, sticking her body to him, and it felt so foreign he had to take a step back, "let me get us a drink?"

"Yeah! I'll come with you!" Tia nodded, and they made their way down to the bar.

"What would you like?" Yoongi asked Tia, trying to get the bartender's attention.

"Vodka soda!" Tia waved her glass and looked around, "hey! That's Jungkook!" Tia yelled, pointing at the dance floor for Yoongi to place him, "He is the coolest human in my design class! His work is insane!" Yoongi's eyes followed Tia's direction to the dance floor. There he was, dancing and making a girl swirl to the beat as she laughed. He stumbled, his back hitting the bar. "You okay?" Tia asked.

His eyes didn't leave her. She looked gorgeous, somewhat thinner. Why was she thinner? But so sexy, dancing to the beat on the stage. Y/N did have a way of capturing the scene. She threw her head back as Jungkook whispered something in her ear and swirled her around with him.

"Yoongi?" Tia repeated.

"Yeah, yes, I am good, I'm good, here," He handed her the glass. "When you go up, could you let Jae or Sara, even Maria know that I've left? I'm just gonna go home. Not feeling too well." He left for the door before Tia could respond.

He felt weird. "I wanted this, I wanted this," He repeated, waiting for the cab to arrive.

"Leaving already?" Tara came and stood next to him.

"Feeling weird, are you going back too?" He asked, and she nodded. "Join me," He pointed to his booked cab ride.

"I met Y/N," she said.

"Yeah?"

"She'll be fine."

Yoongi just nodded, "You really think I could also find out who I am with her?" Tara looked at him in question. "That's what you were going to say, right? Before Jae came in?"

Tara nodded, "I've known Jae and Sara since school. And Sara likes you, that should've been the first sign to not listen to that shit."

"I didn't… I'm not naive. I didn't take their idea and follow through," Yoongi explained. "My parents have been discussing marriage. They bought the ring too, can you believe it? That is my thing to do when we are ready!"

"I thought she was your best friend?" Tara questioned.

"She is my best friend. And I'm being selfish. I know. But I'm all she has ever known. Do you know what her mum said before we left for uni? She said, 'wow, looks like Y/N is in my tracks of having one man for life.' God, her parents are so toxic."

"I don't get your point?" Yoongi was more in his head than in his ongoing explanation to Tara.

"What if one-day Y/N realises that she doesn't want to be like her mom? She hates her parent's relationship, and they were together since school as well. What if she realises that what we have can translate into what her parents made of their marriage?"

"Wow, I thought you left her cause you wanted to figure out life for yourself."

"I did. I do. I want us to have a chance to figure out what not being together feels like. So, that we are sure we want this. I want to explore being young and single for a bit. Just being with myself and not having my life dictated by my parents. And she will see this. She is smart. I just don't want to have any expectations for once."

"Okay, I'm no shrink. But you need help, Yoongi," Tara cut him off. "And you clearly are very confused about her place in your life. If you don't love her, end it! It will do you both good!"

"What the fuck? When did I even say that?" Yoongi yelled. "I do love her." He wasn't in doubt at all.

"Oh, did you tell her that you were feeling stuck? Scared? Claustrophobic?"

"I literally didn't say any of those things," Yoongi sighed. Clearly, Tara did not understand his situation.

"Yeah, you're not naming it. But it is what it is. You just threw her out of your life cause Jae told you his story of toxic romances and girlfriends not having a life. And Sara, who is fucked up, by the way, made it like Y/N didn't have a life without you. And you agreed to it the entire night, and the next we know is that you are not with her anymore," Tara really did like Y/N more. "And what if she likes this break and finds someone new? What will you do?"

Yoongi didn't respond. He hadn't thought this through.

—

"So, you remember, Jungkook?" Zoya asked me as we climbed the mountain. No one could change Tae's plan, and here we were, climbing this stupid mountain under the sun.

"Who?" I asked, trying to blink through the sweat.

"The hunk who you danced with all night, you lil minx!" Zoya tickled her.

"Yes, he texted me." I laughed. "Wants to grab a coffee with me," Zoya raised her eyebrow, "soon too!"

"And, what did you say," she asked.

"I really don't want to go on a date, so I asked him if we can meet as friends," It was all that I could offer. "And we are going to meet next week."

"Are you okay? Seeing Yoongi? With that chick?" She asked.

"I don't know. I'm not thinking about it," I told her honestly.

—

Classes had started again, and all my time not working was spent at the library. I had taken up a research project, and the readings were driving me crazy. It was 11 PM, and I was still here. Thankfully, my therapy was going great. We were reworking my narrative about belonging to someone. I should belong to myself first before giving a part of myself to someone else.

With Yoongi, I had made him my safe haven, which was not fair to either of us. She made me see how I was more dependent on him and how that had influenced so many of my life decisions. Like not going on the trip with all my girlfriends because Yoongi wasn't interested or not taking classes or going to movies which I liked because Yoongi might not have enjoyed them. Instead of treating him as my friend and partner, I was wrapping my life around his choices which made me more like a crutch. Maybe that's why he felt like he needed to move on.

It had been more than three months, though, and I was okay. I missed my friend more than I missed anything else. We could talk about anything. Talk about our future, our interests, and our problems. He just got it without me having to explain it to him. He was truly my best friend. But relationships evolve, and maybe that would be us.

If he was here right now, he would totally understand why I was getting competitive in my class and why I felt I needed to take on this stupid research project.

"This is an announcement for all students. We will close the front desk in 30 minutes. Please come to the front desk for any books intended to be taken out of the library."

"Ugh!" I quickly picked up my books, which I wanted to issue under my name, and ran to the front desk. "Hey! I can still continue studying here, right?" I asked the librarian.

"Yes, we are just closing the counter." He nodded.

"Great," I really needed to finish these readings cause Tae had Nadia over, and they were unreasonably loud at night.

"Hey," I felt a shiver down my spine.

I turned around, "Yoongi…uh…hi."

"Need help carrying those?" He asked, looking at the mountain of books, the librarian was issuing for me.

"Ah no, I'm good. I carried them all here," I smiled. I pulled the books towards me.

"Wait, let me help. Can I just have this book?" He asked the librarian, who quickly issued his book. "Here," He took half my bunch, "where to?"

"Umm, I'm looking for a comfy place," I looked around.

"I know the perfect spot! C'mon," He walked off before I could respond.

We took the lift to the 5th floor, "We have a dedicated space for the architecture wing, and that place has this tiny room, with the comfiest floor sofa with a table and a coffee counter in the next room." Yoongi explained, all excited.

"Oh, we don't have to. I can find a place…."

"You'll love it. C'mon," He sped up again before I could argue.

To his word, the place was so comfy. It also had a wall of floor-length windows at the other side of the table with a beautiful view of the campus. We sat down next to each other, and I sorted my readings.

"Are you prepping for a paper?" He asked, pulling his notebook out as well.

"Research project," I answered.

"Ah," he nodded. "Read on," He smiled, getting ready to read as well.

—

Yoongi couldn't help staring at her in between reading his book. She kept biting her pencil trying to sort through her sticky notes because she always started with a colour coding system which fell apart within minutes. It was a while before she took a break and just looked out of the window.

"How are your classes going?" He asked. He had been dying to speak to her. For the first time ever, he didn't know what was happening in her life, and he had so much to tell her too. He liked this, though, sitting next to her. It felt like home.

"Not bad. It's tough, but I'm trying to do better," She responded.

"What about yours?" She asked.

"Tough. It is very new. I had to make a model the other day, and all I wanted was that little sticky tape you had for your earrings. You know, the one you stick behind your-"

"Ear tape? It's to help with the weight," She laughed.

"Fuck yeah, it would have helped so much to hold the weight of this stupid model," Yoongi took out his phone to show her pictures. The wallpaper was still her, which she didn't comment on, "look at this. It took me more than 10 days to make this, and the professor threw it against the wall."

"Wait, what the fuck?"

"Don't worry! He ended it by saying that people who had their projects thrown against the wall should be proud, which was me and four more of us."

"Proud?"

"Yeah, ours was worth him looking at and critiquing, and the other 20 kids had failed." Yoongi continued, telling her stories of all she had missed, and she instinctively told him all of hers. It was so comfortable. It was like a habit. They went out to get coffee and kept talking about places they had eaten, new content they had seen, and people they had met. "Oh, I have a friend, Jungkook, who can really help you design this landscape. I can speak to him if you like. I think he uses that software. Atleast I think so. Yeah, you can't let that bitch win? How dare she claim your idea as hers!"

"That'll be nice," Yoongi gulped, remembering him from the club, and it shook him from the trance he was in right now. "You'll be surprised. I've met loads of people like her." he didn't want their conversation to end.

They keep talking as they leave the library to walk home. Their home, which was no longer theirs, but they don't realise it as they open their takeaway order on the table and sit down to eat.

"Ugh, my back hurts so much these days. I feel like I'm sitting and reading all the time!" Y/N stretched on the sofa as she finished showing him her research proposal.

"Come here, let me massage it a bit," Yoongi made her turn so her back for facing his front. "Relax your shoulders," he massaged her neck, just like she liked it. She moaned as Yoongi hit her spots, and it went right down to his dick. It had been so long since they had been together, and the noises she was making had him a little dizzy at this time of the night. "Do you like it, baby?" He asked her.

She nodded, tipping her head back as his hands went down her back, kind of dizzy herself with this feeling. It was instinct. It had to me. You couldn't tell who kissed first, but Yoongi's lips were on her, warm, fervent against hers. His hands went around her neck, tipping her face down and kissing her deeply.

"Oh gosh, Yoongi," She moaned, turning her body and climbing his lap. She could feel him hard, thick against her core, as she wrapped her body around his and pulled him in further. Yoongi couldn't pull her close enough to him. He wanted to touch all of her, all at once, have her in his veins, for it had been too long that he had her so close. It was an injustice to not have her this close to him at all times, it was wrong, and he could not think of one reason why he had let this happen.

She raised her arms as he pulled her oversized hoody off. She looked like sin, in just her bra and underwear in her hoody she liked wearing as a dress. She wastes no time getting his clothes off while trying to get him closer to her. He is so hard against her, and when he plunges into her, it feels like time stops, and it is just them at this moment.

"You feel so good," He moans, pulling her closer and kissing her all over her chest as she moves in his lap. "Please don't stop."

"I'm never going to stop," she whispers, getting his lips on her again. He fucks into her until she is sobbing in his arms and then cumming around his cock. She bites his shoulder as he releases inside her, holding her close, with her head on his chest. "Stay," he says, and Y/N can't think of anything else as she falls asleep in his arms.

Y/N has placed this sofa in their house, in a way where the light hits it directly during the sunrise. That's how he knew she was gone before the sun was up.

---

One more part and we wrap? I wanted to show more of a journey for them. 

What do you think? 

Give me your thoughts on what you want to happen next if you like?

©mymuseagustd@2023

[venerawrites]

HEY HEY! bro I can't believe ur back and holy hell ur SOOO fun to read I wish I had friends like u to brainstorm with im so serious rn 🙏🏻 but in ANYHOW

Can I please please get your thoughts on how the Uchiha brothers, Neji, Sai and/or Gaara I don't know how many u accept but if it's too much then just do whoever u feel like🤝 act when drunk?! it's cool if u wanna add already in a relationship/existing feelings with the reader too

thaaaaank uuuuuu!!!!!!

author's note: I usually accept only 4 characters per request, so I excluded Gaara this time, hope that's okay <3 Also I've read a while ago that there are apparently 4 types of drunks, so it worked out perfectly! I hope you enjoy and thank you so much for requesting! x

➤ Itachi - "The Nutty Professor"

Every time Itachi drinks, it's like a completely another person emerge on the surface.

While he is usually pretty quiet and reserved when sober, he would be way more confident and loud when drunk.

He would totally be dominating every conversation in the table and set the tone of the 'party'.

I see him as someone who is very likely to get philosophical when drunk - he needs only a few drinks in order to start discussing the human nature and its connection to inflicting violence, the society structure and how 'good' and 'evil' are perceived.

Often this comes out in the form of a long monologue, which only half of the people are actively listening.

If with his s/o, he would be way more affectionate than usual. He would have his hand around their shoulders or caressing their thigh, and openly admitting how much they appreciate their presence in his life.

I don't imagine him as the type to get blackout drunk though. Despite being more relaxed and energetic, he would still have enough consciousness to be able to pay attention to everyone on the table and make sure that everyone is okay.

(must be that big brother energy, idk)

➤ Sasuke - "Mr. Hyde"

I wasn't sure in the beginning if Sasuke is proper 'Mr.Hyde' type of drunk, but from all the types I think this one suits him best.

Sasuke, in my opinion, doesn't like drinking. Like at all. Yet if everyone else does it when they are out, he does it too (no matter how many times he promise he won't drink anymore).

Becomes more moody and irritable than usual. If he is quite alright with holding back his annoyance when sober, all restrictions would be forgotten after 2 or 3 drinks.

Likely to pick up verbal fights, especially with someone like Naruto or Kiba. An inappropriate joke or a comment, especially if it is toward his s/o, is more than enough to set him on.

May get a bit snarky and deliberately trying to provoke people around him. I think he will definitely take jabs at people that somehow wronged him in the past when drunk.

If his s/o is with him, they would need to be his 'carer' - watch how much he is drinking and try to diffuse any uncomfortable situation that arises.

If they are not with him, this is usually done by either Sakura or Naruto (how well Sasuke takes that, however, really depends on what and how much he drank).

Wakes up the next morning remembering everything and with a deep regret for his behaviour.

➤ Neji - "The Hemingway"

Surprising (and maybe unpopular?) opinion of mine is that Neji actually can hold his alcohol really well.

Most of the times he has tried alcohol before were in family settings, so he knew well to behave and to draw the line once he feels it's too much.

I also don't see him drinking that much?

So even when he does, there is no dramatic change from how he usually is. He may engage in conversation a little bit more than usual, but other than that he is the same reserved and serious Neji we all know.

He also feel the responsibility to look after his friends/his s/o when they are out together, so this is another reason for him to maintain the majority of his consciousness.

It is unlikely for him to become overly sentimental or emotional, but if he has already consumed more than 3 drinks and he is in the company of his s/o, he may become a bit more relaxed and sometimes even... flirty?

Like not too much (we are still talking about Neji after all), but occasionally he will lean close to his s/o and whisper to them how beautiful they are, how much he loves them etc. (which he never usually does in public!).

Definitely the guy in charge of getting everyone else home safely!

➤ Sai - "The Mary Poppins"

Okay, maybe not a real "Mary Poppins" type, but still the 'best type' of drunk in the whole company!

While he is not particularly shy when sober, once he has a few drinks he is definitely more cheerful and friendlier (at least as much as Sai can be).

One thing that remains is his bluntness - if he has no filter in general, once drunk he would say ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING that is on his mind (no matter how good or bad).

The type of guy that would raise a toast every ten minutes - for good friendships; for true love; for peaceful times; for ninja's life etc.

This would be the only time he feels comfortable enough to tell all the jokes he has learned recently as well. The delivery would probably be 1/10, but the effort - 10/10.

If out with his s/o and they drink too much, he would be the one looking out for them - he would hold their hair in the toilet while rubbing small circles on their back; he would bring them glasses of water between drinks etc.

His mind would still be sharp as ever, so he is likely to engage in friendly debates or long discussions about history/politics.

Would get sick if he drinks more than 5/6 drinks.

cc artwork: "Stray" Concept Art

[pink-tonic]

Prologue📰

Next

All Chapters

Warning: Mention of death

That day will always remain hazy to me. Being ushered out of class alongside my classmates, seeing the police arrive, loud chatter, and people moving everywhere. Thinking about it gives me a headache.

But what happened?

I didn't know till I got home. I came home late that day since the police ended up questioning every single one of us, but their questions were too vague.

"Did you see any suspicious behavior?"

That was the question I kept being asked.

"No."

And that is what I always answered with.

When I got home and walked into the living room, I saw my parents watching the news, but once they saw me walk in, they switched their attention to me.

I sat down and tried my best to explain to them what happened at school.

Then I heard it.

"Breaking news is just coming in regarding the police activity that was seen early today at Akademi High. The police have stated that a body was found on the campus. The identity of the body is still unknown. Progress is currently still being made, we'll keep all of you at home updated with any new information."

My parents and I were shocked at the sudden news.

A death? Someone died at my school?

Who was it? Was it a student? Hell, maybe even a teacher? The case is still ongoing as well, so I can't let my mind get too carried away, it'll make me more anxious than before.

Then, my worst thoughts became true. It was a student.

He was a first year student, I talked to him a few times, but I didn't know him on a personal level. Yet, his death is hurting me. The thought that a person I saw every day at school and even talked to is now gone makes me shiver.

After the news got released, it didn't take long for Akadimi to close. It was a temporary procedure, so the police had more time to investigate, but this time was also used for any student affected by the death to mourn.

During this time, I decided to text Ayato. He didn't respond right away, and when he did, he didn't even seem fazed by the news.

I've known Ayato since we were young, so this behavior from him didn't surprise me. He has always been this way. I chalked it up to him being very apathetic.

His behavior didn't bother me when I was young, unlike other kids who would bully him for his lack of emotion and interests. I thought he was nice and a great listener, so I chose to stick by his side even if I got odd glances from the other kids.

But as of lately, Ayato has made a new friend. Taro Yamada is the guy's name.

I only talked to Taro a few times, and I wished I could get to know him more, but my duty of being the newspaper club's leader has made me more busy.

I also found out that Taro has an older sister, and her name is Taeko Yamada.

She is one of the more popular students at Akadimi. I suppose this is for her kind nature. I've talked to her a handful of times, but it was never enough to form a friendship with her.

Even though I never knew either of them on a personal level, I started to wish to see them again.

The school was closed for three months, and I practically had all the time in the world to do anything. The only problem was that I had nothing to do.

I wanted to ask Ayato to hang out, but he was never the type to do so.

So I mostly stayed at home and tried my best to entertain myself, or I walked around the town to find anything interesting to do.

One...

Two...

And finally, three months passed.

The school announced we would be going back on the sixteenth of that month.

I knew it was odd to be excited about this, but I was more than ready to go back and see everyone again.

When the day finally came, I woke up early and did my usual routine. I woke up extra early today since the club is going to have a morning meeting.

This is due to me and the other club members having to discuss what we would publish in the newspaper. Should we talk about the death and any new information that comes from it? Or should we not talk about the death at all and instead go for a happier approach?

Either way, we had to come to a conclusion, so when I made it to the school, I rushed to the club room. I saw a few members seated while others weren't there yet.

We waited, and the remaining members came, we then started our discussion.

School hasn't even started yet, but it was already hectic. I hoped that the rest of the day wouldn't be draining.

[hjemne]

Ilsa, I’ve seen you posting a lot of Trigun and well I’m intrigued by it, to say the least. But just for giggles, would you try to convince me why should I watch it? 😆🤚🏻

AHHHHH!

I didn't think Trigun was going to worm its way into my brain so much but here we are. There is so much to love about it and I adore so many of the characters for a billion different ways. The character type of someone who is made into a killing machine and then is slowly convinced to accept love and forgiveness is my favourite and is all over trigun. So many characters see themselves as monstrous but choose to do what they see as right for the sake of / with the help of their friends. There are moments of silliness and of tragedy, all with an incredibly interesting setting which slowly gets revealed.

Because of the recent release of Trigun Stampede, the community is really active rn (esp on Tumblr!) and it's really cool to see so many incredible fanarts, comics, fanfics and discussions being made. It's very fun to be part of a very active fandom, but also one that is 25 years old and has fanworks that are older than I am.

I really love it, and I would recommend it, but unfortunately I also have some caveats which I gotta mention.

What you gotta know before getting into Trigun is that there are 4 different canon versions and each one has its problems. I wish I could recommend X version as the definitive and best, but that just doesn't exist which is very annoying.

1) Trigun Maximum: the manga

Good: incredible nuances to characters like Wolfwood, Knives, Livio/Razlo. Vashwood subtext is off the charts and their dynamic is incredibly fascinating and central. This is the most detailed and complex story of Trigun and has lots of themes, characters and plot points that don't exist in other versions. Has elements of sexism and sexual violence, but (imo) to show how shitty the world is, rather than to revel in the misogyny. The tone is tragic, with equal mix of hope and pain.

Bad: the female characters of Meryl and Milly get massively sidelined in comparison to their depictions elsewhere. It's a very long manga and has (imo) pacing issues that limit the impact of emotional moments. The art style is beautiful, but notoriously difficult to follow, especially in the many long fight scenes (particularly bad in volume 5). There's lots of disagreement about 'correct' translations and it can be hard to tell which character is doing/saying/thinking what at points which can make it confusing and frustrating to read at times.

Overall: 7/10, I would recommend but maybe not as your first bit of exposure to Trugun

2) 1998 anime Trigun

Good: the silliest of Triguns with some great voice acting. The friendships between Vash, Milly, Meryl and Wolfwood are very sweet and engaging (although it would have been nice to see more of the four of them together). It's a fun overview of the Trigun story and has a very entertaining mix of comedy and serious emotional moments. Lots of hijinks and lots of fights. Milly and Meryl are core characters and get time to shine (it is impossible not to love Milly). This is personal preference but the animation style is kinda goofy in the way it changes styles to exaggerate characters' feelings which I love. The first 12 ISH episodes are very Saturday morning cartoon vibes without being too inane and childish.

Bad: because it only had the first couple of volumes of the manga to adapt from, the mid-season tone shift and later fights feel rushed, a little confusing and ultimately lead to a less satisfying conclusion than in trimax. The misogyny is noticeable, especially in the first couple of episodes, though is limited to a couple of comments in some episodes and doesn't (I think) make it unwatchable. The antagonists are rushed through and it's hard to work out who the 'main' villain is. Tone change is quite abrupt. Wolfwood is a less developed character with a less intense (back)story, Livio/Razlo doesn't exist at all etc

Overall: 7/10, this is what I'd recommend you start with. It has pacing issues and uncomfortable sexist comments, but I think they're outweighed by the strengths of the main casts relationships and the pure entertainment value of it. Not the most satisfying ending, but they were constrained so :/

3) Badlands Rumble (film)

Good: animation is SO crisp. Wolfwood is at maximum chest exposure and actually his character is pretty interesting here. Milly and Meryl are back, but in limited roles. Some interesting world building and Vash and Wolfwood go thru their divorce arc TM which is dumb and funny and angsty.

Bad: Wolfwood is far too pale. The first half an hour is made almost unwatchable by the decision to make sexism and sexual harrassement a way to pad out the runtime. Vash is such a creep it just makes for uncomfortable watching.

4/10 don't watch if you're not already invested, and honestly do yourself a favour by watching the opening scene, then skipping to the 30 min ish mark and watch knowing that Vash has some very tough dried meat in his front coat pocket.

4) Trigun Stampede anime

Good: really cool 3D animation and music. Has Wolfwood's manga backstory and some manga characters like Livio and Crimsonnail, but with very different characterisations. I really liked the episode looking at the childhood of two orphans and how their love for each other was manipulated against them both. Much bigger focus on Knives than the original and more elaboration of his motivations and plans. Zazie is SO much better here than in the original anime. No uncomfortable sexism yay!

Bad: I... don't like tristamp very much. The characters are watered down from their manga versions and Knives is just kinda evil because he was en evil child, rather than the much more nuanced version in trimax. Milly doesn't exist (yet) and they added in a new character Roberto whose role in the story is (or at least was to me) obvious if you know the basics of the hero's journey structure. Everyone has been twinkified and Wolfwood doesn't even have his tits out smh. Vash just comes across as having less agency and his motivations feel weak. I really just dont like a lot of the character decision here BUT to be fair, that's because I'm comparing them to the manga. But also, a main plot point is someone taking over his brother's body so that his sisters can get pregnant and it definitely still feels weird in context. The focus on the two brothers makes other dynamics a little weaker, and has led to a lot of incest-y fandom things which is ehh.

5.5/10 there are some things it does very well and it's very popular for a reason but I personally think the characterisations are disappointing. It's trying to strike a weird balance between being its own, new thing and also nostalgia for original elements, leading to some questionable pacing and plot choices. It doesn't even have Midvalley the Hornfreak.

I would love to be able to talk about Trigun with you and be passionate about the elements of it I love, but also I don't want to recommend it without giving you a fair picture of the parts I'm more critical about. I genuinely love the world building and characters, which are expressed best in the less accessible form of the manga but are also found in the animes. What I'd recommend is watching the original anime first, but also you might need to give it the benefit of the doubt for the first couple episodes which is where the dodgy 90s sexism is most obvious. I'd be super interested in hearing your thoughts and reactions to it if you did watch it, and also please bear in mind that my complaints about tristamp are personal and there are many who love that version so don't take my negativity as fact.

[marysunshine23]

I don't have the Welcome Home profile format, but HERE'S MY OC ANYWAY!!!

Chloe

"If you're ever hurt, you better believe "Clumsy" Chloe Locket will be there with a first aid kit and a hug ready for you! Whether she's on her skates, her bike, or her skateboard, Chloe is always zooming around the neighborhood ready to play with her friends! Not a tear goes unattended with her in Welcome Home. She considers herself Wally's second best friend."

According to concept art and story boards, Chloe was introduce as a means of teaching kids about pain management and self-care. A gag throughout the show is that she's never seen with her first aid kit, but she seems to pull it out of nowhere whenever it's needed. She was usually used as a way to teach about when you or a friend are injured, often having bumps, scrapes, and occasionally a broken bone. She has a song called "Bad Enough to Stop Playing" (No Track), that talks about whether or not an injury is bad enough to stop playing and see a doctor.

Many of her skits have to do with both physical and emotional pain, whether someone cuts themselves with a craft, burns themselves on a baking session, or just some misunderstood words. However, she's also seen in many misadventures with Wally and Barnaby, laughing at their dynamic. There is some confusion about her relationship with Wally, since they often hold hands and walk arm-in-arm; but all that's been confirmed is that they are "very close friends".

She was brought in later in the series, though was eluded to the season before when three two new houses were being built; one between Poppy and Sally's houses, and another between Barnaby and Frank's houses (the former being Chloe's house). Her official introduction is when she literally ran into Wally while she was skating around the neighborhood.

Puppet Trivia!

Chloe is a Taurus

Whenever she's seen in a cast, there is always at least one signature on it; and it's always Wally's.

Chloe is a very good singer and dancer

When compared to Sesame Street characters, she's very similar to Elmo's friend; Zoe.

The ramp next to Chloe's house is below a window, and she's sometimes seen stepping out of the window on her skates or with her board to skate down the ramp

She says she'd love flowers outside her windows, but she's notoriously bad at taking care of plants

Wally doesn't call Chloe on the phone to greet her 'Good Morning' like with the others. Apparently she keeps her phone off the hook until about 9 AM, so Wally knocks on her door and invites her to breakfast instead.

Because of how often she is shown taking a mid-day nap, parents associate her with the reason their kids are more cooperative with naptime.

Apparently, at some point, Chloe had a pet cow before moving to The Neighborhood. She never gives a verbal answer as to what happened to the cow, only making vague, nonsensical gestures before shrugging.

In an interview, when asked about her relationship with Wally and whether or not she'd consider a romantic relationship with him, she said, "Well, that's a very important discussion to have between two people. It'd have to be something we talk about alone. But regardless, [Wally is] my best friend."

Chloe likes wearing "matching" outfits with her friends. She has a Wally-inspired outfit and a Poppy-inspired outfit

Wally often calls her last for Good Night calls because she likes telling him about her day, even if he was with her all day.

Chloe's hair is made out of unwoven yarn that was glued and sewn together to make realistic hair (or as realistic as pink hair can be). It's regularly brushed out and restyled for consistency and a healthy look.

Soul Trivia!

The soul trapped inside the Chloe Puppet is of an ex-professional skater named Makenzie Carmichael. Her current profession is being an online influencer.

She was too young to watch Welcome Home, so her knowledge of the show is secondhand from her mother. She was gifted a Wally and Chloe doll when she was five and still has them.

Personality-wise, Makenzie is very friendly but also very lonely.

She likes doing karaoke night

Makenzie's sense of fashion falls under "soft e-girl", or "comfy trendy"

Her favorite Welcome Home character is a tie between Julie and Wally

While she is in Chloe's body, Makenzie tends to dress more like how she did as a human than how Chloe canonically dressed. While it's somewhat annoying to him, Wally doesn't hate her fashion style

She becomes best friends with Poppy's soul

Makenzie retired from ice skating after breaking her hip. While she fully recovered, she didn't want to risk becoming completely immobile.

While in Chloe's body, she modified the puppet's hands to have touch-screen sensitive material on the fingertips to allow her to use her phone. She did this by removing the pads from the touch-screen gloves and sewing them in place of the fingertips.

When she manages to escape from her puppet prison, Makenzie gets a BBL and dyes her hair pink to look more like Chloe.

Her full zodiac is Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, and Leo Rising.

While a puppet, Makenzie teaches Wally how to give a proper hug and kiss. She also teaches him how to "Floss" to expand his simple dancing repertoire.

She keeps her Chloe puppet when she becomes human and learns a bit of puppeteering to keep her in her streams.

Shared Trivia

Both Makenzie and Chloe's favorite colors are pink

They're both athletic and have broken several bones

They have a shared love for Poppy and Wally

Both tend to be night owls, sleeping in until between 9 and 10 AM and staying up until 11 PM

They prefer colder weather over warm weather

The two are pansexual

They both love chocolate-covered doughnuts

Their favorite flavor of drink is grape

Both tend to cry as a response to frustration and anger

They're very technologically savvy

Both are cat people that love dogs

[jerzwriter]

Consequences

Book:                   Open Heart

Pairing:                Tobias Carrick x F!MC (Casey MacTavish)

Featuring:           Ethan Ramsey, Vivian Carrick, Jordan Carrick, and introducing Eva Mendoza

Rating:                 Teen

Category:            Light Angst

Summary:           Ethan is being a wonderful friend but fails to make a good impression on a new doctor. A displeased Vivian confronts her youngest son.  Casey makes a new friend, and Jordan wants to make amends, but is Tobias ready?

Words:                 3500 (sorry! But there was a lot to cover)

A/N:                     A little drabble that takes place just a week after their wedding.

   @choices-november2022 - Day 15 - Conversations       

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS.

Wedding & Baby Stories Masterlist Tobias & Casey Complete Masterlist My Full Masterlist

This is a follow-up to Best Men and a lead-up to Tobias & Casey’s wedding fic. You can read it as a stand-alone, but knowing the story in Best Men gives it more color.

It was the morning after, and Ethan was concerned about his friends. He invited Casey and Tobias to join him for breakfast in the cafeteria under the guise of discussing wedding items he was working on with Sienna, but he really wanted to see how they were after Tobias’s encounter with Jordan the night before.

Casey seemed fine, but as a diagnostician, he knew overcompensation when he saw it. Tobias was not himself, but Ethan was happy to see their conversation perked him up a little before Tobias was paged and needed to excuse himself.

Casey watched her fiance until he was no longer in the room, letting out a soft sigh once he was gone. Lost in thought, she was startled when Ethan spoke again.

“How is he doing?”

“He’s all right, but not great,” Casey shrugged, “It was… a lot.”

“It was. I’m surprised Jordan still has teeth.”

“Well, that wouldn’t have made anything better. Would it?”

“I guess not. How are you doing?”

“You mean other than being an unscrupulous golddigger tricking poor Tobias into marriage?”

Ethan chuckled ruefully. “Well, that should leave you exhausted in and of itself. But it can’t be fun to know someone spoke of you that way.”

“It’s not, and it hurts because it came from someone who means so much to Tobias. But I keep reminding myself that Jordan doesn’t know me. We’ve met three times, and I know I never did anything deserving of his tirade. That little outburst says much more about him than it does me.”

“That’s a very mature approach.”

“It’s the best I can do. What matters to me is Tobias. This should be a happy time for him, for both of us, and if I let my emotions get the best of me, it will only worsen it.”

“But you’re entitled to your feelings.” 

“I know. I’m just keeping them in check. It sucks that he won’t be at the wedding. With Tobias’s dad gone, he really wanted his mother and brother there.”

“Yes! Vivian. Is she aware yet?”

“Tobias didn’t mention if he told her, and I didn’t want to push.”

“If I had to guess, I’d say he didn’t. After all, we would have had mass casualties in the ER due to the explosion.”

“You make a good point,” Casey laughed. “She won’t be pleased. But on an up note, that’s one less handsome single man at the wedding. Your chances have been upped, Ramsey.”

“Oh, yeah,” he said sarcastically. “That was weighing on my mind!”

“It should be! Since you’re not bringing a guest.”

“I don’t need to bring a guest. I know almost everyone attending; it’s not necessary.”

“Ethan….”

“Casey, don’t play matchmaker. We know it doesn’t work.”

“What? I tried and failed once! If I gave up on everything that quickly, do you think I’d be sitting here at Edenbrook?”

“Mmm, but that was bettering yourself,” he said, beginning to stand, “not meddling in my life. Now, look at the time. What a shame, we have to go to our meeting.”

“Fine, but we’re not done with this conversation, buster.”

“Oh yes,” he assured. “We are.”

~~~~~ 

Across town, Jordan sat in his hotel room, staring at the phone ringing on the dresser. There was no need to look at the name flashing across the screen; he knew who was calling. Dragging his hands down the front of his face with a grimace, he considered letting it go to voicemail. But he knew how tenacious his mother was; there was no avoidance. He put the phone to his ear. 

“I’ve been expecting you.”

“Oh, have you?” Vivian snapped. “That’s good to know because it tells me you haven’t taken leave all your senses, just most of them!”

“Mom, before you start….”

“Oh no, young man. You have forfeited any right to call the shots. And we are not doing this by phone. I’m in your hotel lobby, and I strongly suggest you give me your room number. If not, I will make a scene worthy of a Tony award!”

“Wait.. what hotel are you in? I never told you where I was staying.”

“You know I have my sources. Now, will you give me a room number, or do I have to go and ruin our family's name?”

After a brief pause and a heavy sigh, Jordan mumbled, “604.”

Moments later, Jordan braced himself when he heard the first knock at his door. Vivian barreled in, barely glancing at her youngest son. Still, the second she did was enough for him to see the fury burning in her eyes. He instinctively rubbed his cheek, shocked that he had yet to feel the sting of her hand across his face. Certain it would be forthcoming, he locked the door and turned to face her wrath.

“Ma, I know what….”

“You don’t know a damn thing!” she interrupted. “If what your brother told me is true, then the only thing stopping me from slapping you into next year is if you tell me you suffered a psychotic break. Outside of that, young man, nothing will spare you. So tell me, have you suffered a psychotic break?”

“I haven’t.”

Without a word, Vivian marched across the room, and with a flick of her wrist, a loud slapping noise reverberated off the walls. There it was.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Your brother invites you to his home to share the most important news of his life, and what do you do?”

“Ma, I… know I overreacted….”

“Overreacted? The flinch you just made over that baby slap you got was overreacting. What you did last night was just cruel.”

“Mom… there are things you don’t know….”

“Really,” Vivian scoffed. Sitting in an antique chair, she placed her hands neatly atop her crossed legs. “Then you better clear your calendar because you’re going to tell me all I need to know. Are you going to tell me you have some sort of proof of the allegations you made?”

“No. But….”

“There are no buts!”

“Yes!” He insisted, “there are. I didn’t handle things well, but why are you, Kerry, and everyone so wrapped up in this… has one of you even stopped to consider I could be right?”

“Do you take me for a fool? If Casey were some gold-digging trollop, I would have sensed that a hundred miles away.”

“Would you?” he asked with raised eyes.

“Yes, I would.”

“Mom, do you remember Madison?”

“Who the hell is Madison?”

“The girl I brought to your garden party last spring.”

“Oh, yes. I remember her. Now there was your definition of a gold digger.”

“Well, gee, Mom! It might have been nice if you had told me that!”

“Why? Most of the women you’ve been with have been gold diggers, and you didn’t seem to care since you never had plans of settling down with any of them. But I fail to see how this is relevant to our conversation now.”

“Because,” he said, throwing his hands up in frustration. “I never told anyone because I wanted to be sure, but things became serious between us. I was planning to bring her home for the holidays and tell you then. I was crazy about her, Mom. I was even considering proposing.”

“You, what?”

“Don’t worry. Only one of your eternal bachelor sons is being taken off the market. We’re not together anymore.”

“I have a feeling there is more to this story.”

“There is.” Jordan let out a deep sigh, then sat on the edge of the bed, facing his mother. “Last week, I went to surprise her at work, flowers in hand and everything… I was about to go into her studio when I heard her talking about me with a co-worker. I decided to listen in. Like some idiot, I’m grinning, waiting to hear her gushing over how crazy she is about me…because I was that crazy about her.”

“And?”

“She seemed to be for a moment, then her friend asked if I had a brother, and Madison said he does. Then she said she should hook them up so neither of them would have to work again. I left, hoping it was a joke, giving her the benefit of the doubt. So I started digging and found out she’s been with her ex the entire time we were together. He knew but didn’t care. The plan was to stay with me just long enough that she could make out well in a divorce, then the two of them ride off into the sunset. They even said if we had a kid, it would be a lifelong meal ticket.”

Seeing the pain on her son’s face, she moved to sit next to him on the bed, gently placing a hand on his knee.

“Jordan…”

“It was the first time I ever cared about someone, Ma. And I was taken for a fool. So when Tobias told me he was getting married… it felt so out of the blue. Then he says they're expecting a child, and that’s where my mind went.”

“Son, I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through, but I assure you Casey isn’t Madison. She loves Tobias with all her heart, and he loves her back. This baby isn’t a trap; it’s a child conceived in love. One they both want very much.”

“Are you sure of that?”

“I am. I’ve spent ample time with them, and I know they have the real thing.”

“So I just made a giant ass out of myself.”

“Yes, an enormous one. You said some vile things about a lovely woman just weeks away from being my daughter-in-law. A woman who is carrying your brother’s child! She is already family in my eyes, and she would have been in your father's too. You know how important family was to him, and he would not have taken kindly to this.”

“I understand that you like her. I did too. But… wouldn’t you feel more comfortable if… I don’t know… if it were someone like Kerry. Someone that is in the same circles as us. Just to be sure….”

“Stop right there. You seem to forget that when I wed your father, I was not of his class. Are you saying I was beneath him? Exploiting him for his wealth?”

“Of course not.”

“Well, it sure sounds like you were saying that. If someone isn’t fortunate enough to be born into the upper echelon, they’re to be considered suspect? My family and my background are your legacy, too, son, every bit as much as the Carrick name is, and don’t you forget it! I didn’t raise you to be a snob!”

Knowing she was right, Jordan hung his head.  “I know, Ma.”

“Now you need to make amends.  You owe your brother and his future wife an apology.”

“I was pretty awful.  I wouldn’t even take the call if I were in his shoes.”

“And he may not.  But there’s only one way to find out, and that’s to call.  I suggest you do so.”

“I will.  I promise.”

“Good, son,” she said, taking his hand.  “Now, why don’t you tell me all about what happened with Madison.”

~~~~~

Back at Edenbrook, Casey was in the team’s office, eager to wrap up her day in the team’s office, when she heard the voice of someone she needed to speak with outside. Springing to her feet, she rushed to the door as the voice faded down the hall.

“Dr. Mendoza!” She yelled down the hallway. “Dr. Mendoza!”

A statuesque woman with brown hair pinned into a loose bun turned around, smiling broadly when she saw it was Casey.  “Dr. MacTavish, how are you?”

“I’m good,” Casey said, catching her breath as she caught up to her.  “You look relieved.” 

“I am. Let’s just say not all of the doctors at Edenbrook have been as… polite… as you.” 

“Uh, oh. You’ve only been here a week, and people are giving you grief already? You need to give me a list of names so I can reprimand them!” 

“I appreciate the offer, but I’m pretty tough,” she winked. “I can take them on.” 

“Of that, I have no doubt. But I stopped you because Dr. Chong said I should consult with you about that patient we discussed. Her case is still a mystery, but I still think an auto-immune issue is the culprit. Since she’s had infertility issues too….” 

“I finally had a chance to look over her charts, and I agree with you. Most of her infertility testing was done at Brigham, but I think we should start from scratch. I feel like they missed something.” 

“I agree! If you have a few moments, the DT office is empty.  We can go brainstorm, and I’ll even give you coffee from the good coffee machine.” 

“The good machine?” Dr. Mendoza asked. 

“It’s a long story.” 

Twenty minutes later, the two women had a plan of action, and Casey vowed to help her fast friend get quality coffee whenever she needed it.  

“This has to be the best-kept secret in the hospital,” Dr. Mendoza laughed. “I’m honored you let me in on it.” 

“I’ve got a good feeling about you, Dr. Mendoza.” 

“Oh, please. If we’re going to be friends, it’s Eva.” 

“Then Eva it is….” 

“Baby, are you almost ready? I’m going to get the car….” Tobias looked up from his chart, startled to see someone else in the office. “Oh… I’m sorry…” his face fell slightly as he nodded curtly. “Mendoza.” 

“Carrick,” Eva repeated in the same manner. 

“You two have met?” Casey asked. “Wait! He wasn’t one of the doctors giving you trouble. Was he?” 

“At Edenbrook? No. But I’ve had my run-ins with Dr. Carrick in the past.” 

“Really?” 

“What can I say, dear. Eva was one of the few people who wasn’t susceptible to my charms.” 

“Oh, for the love of God,” Casey groaned. “Tell me this isn’t another woman you tried to put the moves on before me.”   

Eva broke into a fit of laughter. “Oh, I wish he had. I would have loved the opportunity to reject him.” 

“Too bad you never got it,” Tobias smirked. 

“OK, are one of you going to tell me how you know each other?” 

“Boston University,” Eva offered. “He taught two of my med school courses, and he didn’t like that I challenged him.” 

“Challenged me? You were an impossible pain-in-the-ass who held the class up needlessly to think of things from a hundred angles when only ten were necessary.” 

“You’re just pissed that sometimes I proved you wrong!” 

“But most of the time, I proved you wrong.  Casey, can you tell her that when….” 

“Oh, no!” Casey laughed. “I am not getting in the middle of an ancient grudge match between this brilliant woman who is my newly minted friend and my beloved fiance.” 

“Fiance?” Eva blurted. “He’s responsible for that massive rock on your finger.” 

“What can I say?” Tobias grinned, “I have impeccable taste.” 

“If you proposed to Casey, then yes. You definitely do,” turning to Casey, she continued, “You, on the other hand….” 

“OK. Let’s be nice to my future husband,” Casey scolded playfully. 

“Sorry,” she said jokingly. “There is no way I’m going to be nice to Carrick.” 

“In that case, I may have to rethink my opinion of you,” Ethan grumbled as he entered the room. 

Eva rolled her eyes, “Oh, you too. This is my lucky day!” 

“OK, he’s definitely of the doctors giving you a hard time?” 

“Bingo!” Eva chimed. 

“Casey,” Ethan complained. “As your best man, I resent that you were so fast to assume it was me.” 

“Ethan, please. I love you, but my initial assessment of you was that you were an asshole.” 

“She’s an excellent judge of character,” Tobias injected as Ethan shot him a dirty look. 

“Did I ask you’re opinion?” 

“Ethan,” Casey said, bringing the attention back to the point. “You need to be nice. Eva will be working with us on Mrs. Sosa’s case, and she’s officially my new friend.” 

“You have enough friends, MacTavish. Must you add more?” 

“You can never have enough friends,” Casey grinned. 

“As much as I hate to break this little party up,” Tobias interrupted, “our shifts ended an hour ago, and we….” “I know,”  Casey agreed.  “We have wedding stuff to do.” 

“Well, if you’re leaving, so am I. I’m not going to be alone with Dr. Grumpy Pants, no matter how good of a coffee machine he has.” 

Ethan looked at Casey with an incredulous look on his face. “You told her about my coffee machine?!” 

“Oh, look at the time, gotta run….” Casey grinned as she and Tobias rushed to the elevator. 

Once alone inside, Casey gave him a quick hug. “What’s going on? We don’t have wedding stuff tonight.” 

“You’re perceptive,” he smiled. “Thanks for getting us out of there. I got a call from Jordan, and he wants to speak.” 

“Oh, so are you going to?" 

“I don’t know.”

“I suppose you should hear what he has to say.” 

“After what he said about you last night? I really don’t give a damn about what he has to say.” 

“I understand that,” she said, taking his hand, “this has to be your choice. But I’ll support you regardless of what you decide.” 

“I appreciate that, but right now, all I want to do is get my pregnant fiance home to rest.” 

“I’m fine, Tobias, I can….” 

“Uh, uh, uh. Do you want me to bring Ethan into this?” 

“Nope. Let me just get home and get off my feet!” 

~~~~~

 Several hours later, Casey was asleep in their bedroom while Tobias worked in his office down the hall.  He played his voice messages on speaker mode as he checked his e-mails. 

“… Hi, it’s Ethan.  I just wanted to let you know Sienna, and I finalized the plans for the joint bachelor/bachelorette party. Call me when you have a chance to discuss….” 

He deleted and listened to the next. 

“… Hey, bro.  It’s me again.  Look, I get that you probably don’t want to talk to me, and I understand why.  But if you could give me just five minutes, I’d like to….” 

He hit delete before hearing the whole message and resumed his work.  Still, he couldn’t stay focused, no matter how hard he tried.  His phone rang again, and Jordan’s picture flashed on the screen.  He muted the ringer, then, warring with himself, he picked up the phone. 

“You have exactly five minutes starting right now,” Tobias scowled. 

“Hey, T. Thanks for answering….” 

“The clock is ticking.” 

“Look, I’d love to see you so we could do this in person….” 

“Not happening.” 

“OK, so I’ll do it here.  I owe you an apology.” 

“You owe me nothing.  You owe my pregnant fiancee, the woman I love more than anything in this world, an apology.” 

“And I’d… I’d be happy to give it to her if….” 

“Well, you’re not.  Not now.  She’s in her first trimester, and it’s my job to make her life as stress-free as possible.  You’re going nowhere near her.” 

“I understand.  But then, can I meet with you? I want to explain….” 

“I don’t want to hear an explanation, Jordan.  It sounds too much like an excuse, and there is no excuse for you disparaging Casey and mocking us for expecting a child together.  There is no excuse for that, and I’m under no obligation to forgive you.” 

“I… I understand, but… can we just talk? There are things you don’t know that….” 

“Not now.  I can’t.  I’m furious, and I’m not ready to make nice.  You’re on my schedule now, and I’ll call you when and if I’m ready to hear what you have to say.” 

“OK, that’s fair.  It’s just that your wedding is just weeks away, and….” 

“Yes, it is.  And this is supposed to be one of the happiest times of our lives, and I’m ensuring it will be by keeping you away.  Am I clear?” 

“Crystal.” 

“Good.  Now don’t call me. The next move is mine.” 

He hung up the phone, then removed his glasses to rub his eyes. Standing up to walk across the moonlit room, a framed photo caught his eye.  A much younger Tobias playing on the beach with his father.  He took the frame in his hand and smiled.  He waited too long to repair the damage with his dad, and he learned the hard way that time waits for no one.  But his dad never insulted the woman he loved.  His dad never mocked the biggest blessing that ever happened to him.  

Tobias put the photo back in its spot and continued to the window.  Staring out into the night sky, he considered began thinking of what his father would want him to do.  But he wasn’t ready.  

“Tobias?” Casey called from down the hall.  He knew the tone in her voice, she was probably having a nightmare, and he rushed to be with her. 

“Coming, baby.” 

He knew what mattered: Casey and their child.  Everything else would have to wait.

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics @choices-november2022

[unseededtoast]

Rectify | Bucky Barnes

Part 7/37 | Part Six, Part Eight

Summary: I've lived every day for the past five years looking over my shoulder. I knew they'd come for me, it was inevitable. I was foolish to think I could outrun my past. It's followed me everywhere I go, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Never would I have anticipated that the shadows would lead me to the light.

Bucky Barnes x OC

Series Warnings: Discussion of human trafficking, alcohol consumption, graphic depictions of violence, sexual content, discussion of suicidal thoughts.

a/n: Hi everyone, thank you for checking this out, I appreciate any and all support! This series is also posted on Ao3 and Wattpad if you prefer those formats/platforms! This is a completed series, and it's going to take some time for me to transfer it to Tumblr, so please bear with me!

"You know, she was the only one at Hydra to ever tell me they were sorry, she treated me like a human, not a weapon."

The water stops trickling down the drain as I shut off the faucet and pat my mouth dry. Today's the day and I know Steve is more excited than I am. I hear him knocking on the door and go to open it for him. He walks in and I return to the bathroom, untangling my hair from last night's restless sleep. I've been eager for this day to come, I couldn't get my mind to rest very well.

"Do you think it'll go well?" Steve asks anxiously, picking at the skin on his thumb. I look at him through the mirror, poor guy has been stressed out for two weeks over this. If I had a hard time resting last night I bet he didn't even sleep. I turn to face him,

"If I didn't think he could handle it I wouldn't go through with this. He's done exceptionally well up to this point, it'll be okay Steve. I'll be there for you both. It's going to be emotional just remember to let yourself feel the emotions." I say and lay my hairbrush down on the vanity. I go to put my shoes on as Steve sighs,

"I just hope he remembers." His voice tapers at the end, worry clearly evident in his voice. I lace up my boot and look to Steve as I put the other one on.

"I'm fairly confident he will remember. It might not happen all at once, it may take some time. Just have patience." I say, hoping to ease some of his nerves and bring his high hopes down to something that is more realistic. I don't want Steve's hope to be crushed if things don't go exactly the way he wants them to. 

He starts tapping a foot on the floor and runs a hand through his hair. I can't imagine what thoughts are going through his head right now. He's about to be reunited with his best friend who he thought was dead for the past sixty or so years.  It has to feel unreal.

I lace my other boot and Steve goes to open the door, eager to get to Bucky's room. I follow Steve into the hall and down to the room we spend the majority of our time in now.

Things have smoothed out over the past two weeks for the most part. Bucky isn't as apprehensive as he first was and I think that's because we have a similar experience we can relate to each other with, along with the fact that he knows he's not in any imminent danger. Steve and I are practically joined at the hip most days, he's been one of the most welcoming and supportive people since I've arrived and I'm most grateful for him. Tony still isn't fond of me, but he tolerates me better than he first did, so I can't complain too much.

Steve stays in the hall as I walk into Bucky's room to explain what's going to happen today. Bucky sets the book he's reading aside as he sees me walk into the room, a smile on his face.

"Good morning." I smile and greet him back, not sitting in my usual spot. He looks confused as to why I don't have coffee cups in my hands and why I'm not settling in like I usually do for our morning talks.

"I have someone with me that I want you to meet. I think you two will have a lot to talk about. If it gets to be too much or you need a break, I'll be just outside the door and you can call for me." I say and take some steps backwards as Bucky nods. I walk out of the room to observe from the hall, and Steve is standing right by the door. I give him permission to go into the room and he takes one big breath before he enters. I shut the door behind Steve and cross my arms as I watch from behind the one-way glass.

Bucky stares at Steve, a mixture of emotions on his face. Steve walks slowly, approaching the grey armchair that's been placed next to the couch in Bucky's room. After Bucky was freed from the cage, Steve made sure that he had a bed and some other furniture placed in his room to make sure Bucky was comfortable.

Steve sits in the chair, the two are silent as they study one another. Steve looks nervous and Bucky looks like he's seen a ghost. I see Bucky blink a few times and tilt his head to one side.

"Steve?" Bucky asks and Steve nods his head,

"It's me, Buck." I can hear the smile in Steve's voice, and I know he's beyond ecstatic. Bucky takes a few moments, he's probably remembering something. Bucky gets a certain look on his face when he remembers things, it's a mix of confusion, anger, sadness, and sometimes, happiness. Bucky licks his lips and looks Steve over.

"You used to be small. I remember you used to put old newspapers in your shoes." Steve laughs and nods his head,

"Yeah, I used to be small. You'd have to bail me out every time I picked a fight." Steve says and I see Bucky's eyes light up, a smile on his face,

"In the alleyway at the movie theater." I see the humor between the two, their chemistry is natural. They continue sharing small moments here and there, Bucky sharing what he remembers though I can tell he's having trouble remembering some details. Steve laughs a few times, and then the room falls silent.

"You were there when I fell off the train." Bucky states and Steve somberly nods his head, running a hand over his face.

"Yeah, I was there. I thought I had lost you for good. I tried to save you, Buck." Steve says, looking down at the ground. The silence stays in the room, neither of them knew what to say. I watch as Bucky shifts around on the couch,

"Have you been out there while Adalyn comes?" Bucky asks.

"I've been out there every day." Steve confirms and Bucky nods his head.

"I have to admit, seeing her again was weird, especially at first. I really thought she had been killed, I never found out what happened to her once she escaped. You know, she was the only one at Hydra to ever tell me they were sorry, she treated me like a human, not a weapon." Bucky looks towards the glass, knowing I can hear what they're saying. It hasn't been easy for Bucky to open up about his feelings, he sometimes has a tendency to bottle it up, so hearing him say this is profound and heartwarming to me.

"She's been on the run ever since she left." Steve says. I haven't told Bucky everything that happened after I left, but I figure we'll get there in time. Besides, the mission is to get Bucky back, not recount my nomad days.

"When I first started remembering things, the first thing I remembered about her was that she put my brain in a blender. I didn't remember everything else she did for me, but when I did, it was like everything came flooding back all at once." Bucky says, and I listen intently to what he's saying, trying to understand how his memories are coming back more in depth, even though I have a pretty solid understanding already. No piece of information is too small.

"She was worried you would never forgive her, she has a hard time forgiving herself." Steve says, glancing at the glass. I chew on my bottom lip as they talk about me. Bucky shakes his head,

"It's hard to forgive yourself when you do bad things against your will." His voice is soft. Steve reaches over and places a hand on Bucky's shoulder, to which Bucky makes eye contact with Steve,

"Neither of you should blame yourself." Bucky looks at the glass I'm standing behind and just shakes his head. Not blaming ourselves is easier said than done, I'm afraid. But if anyone should be blameless for their actions, it's Bucky, not myself. Silence fills the room once again, and I decide to go in there with them. The door shuts behind me and I sit next to Bucky on the couch.

"You know, I'm really glad you two are able to reconnect. It warms my heart knowing you have this chance." I say, feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness for the two of them. Bucky smiles shyly and Steve nods his head. Steve stands from his seat as I see the watch on his wrist light up with a message.

"Adalyn, I'll catch up with you this evening. Bucky, I'll be back tomorrow morning. There's something I have to go do." I nod my head as Steve exits the room. I wonder what that's all about.

I turn my focus to Bucky who's watching Steve leave. Bucky and I look at each other, and I feel tears of joy fill my lashline, one of them running down my cheek. The moment between the two of them was beautiful, they both deserve this reunification. In those moments they were who they were back in the '40s. Two best friends with undying loyalty and love for one another. Never did I think a day would come when this would be possible. 

Bucky looks frazzled and panicked as I wipe away the stray tear and sniffle. I smile slightly, 

"I am so happy that you're able to remember, you have no idea." I say and the worry fades from his face. 

"I remember something new each day." Bucky says quietly as our eyes meet one another. 

Bucky and I have kept our conversations fairly light over the past few weeks, I've been letting him guide the conversation and talk about the things he's remembered if he wants to. I don't want to pressure him into talking about things that might be hard to process, and I don't want him to feel like he's being forced into therapy. My goal is to make our interactions beneficial and comfortable for him so that he feels confident confiding in me. 

I turn my body so I'm fully facing him and decide to give him some insight about my past. He knows relatively nothing about what my personal life was like in Hydra. He has a general understanding about my family and the dynamics there, but I've held off on speaking about my tasking related to him. 

However, I think he's strong enough to know the truth, and it's what he deserves. He deserves transparency. Plus, by telling him more and opening up I think it helps establish more trust between the two of us. I already trust him, I have no reason not to. On the other hand, he has hundreds of reasons why he shouldn't trust me and I need, and want, to erase each and every one of those reasons.

"When I was tasked with perfecting the programming in your mind I was told to make you a blank canvas. Apparently Zola had left too many holes in his programming and it wasn't enough for my father. He wanted me to wipe your mind of everything but the basic functions of life. I couldn't bring myself to do it, I couldn't erase who you are, who you were. I saw the look in your eyes and when I pressed that button on stage that night, I knew I had done something awful. I saw how they treated you and it was all because of me. And now seeing you remember things from the past is just so surreal to me, I am so grateful you have this opportunity." I see him process the information. It can't be easy hearing these things, and truth be told they aren't any easier to say out loud.

"You didn't have a choice. Please, don't blame yourself for what they made you do. It's because of you and the choice you made that I can remember." He says, looking into my eyes with his baby blue ones. I let the silence take over, though it's a comfortable silence. I don't know what to say to that, I'm not sure the words exist to convey what I feel. 

He's told me I shouldn't blame myself for what I did on more than one occasion but it never gets easier to accept those words or forgive myself. The hatred I have for my past actions runs far too deep for me to be able to forgive myself. 

"What records did they bring you?" I break the silence after a few minutes and walk over to the record player that sits on the table. 

Steve requested that it be put there, saying it helped him adjust to modern life while still having a piece of the old days. Bucky follows me over and places the needle on the record that's already in place. There's a light crackling sound that fills the space as the record rotates. I hear the guitar and piano start, followed by a man's low voice that fills the room. It's a slow, rhythmic song. Bucky takes my hand and leads me to the middle of the room. I look at him confused, not understanding what he's doing.

"Back in my day I loved going out to dance." He places his right hand on my waist and intertwines my fingers with his metal ones, though I can tell he's being cautious about grabbing my hand with his metal one.

"I've never danced a day in my life." I admit, feeling nervous about this. Bucky and I had grown closer over the past couple weeks, but not physically. He smiles as he places my left hand on his shoulder.

"Just follow my lead, I promise it's easy." He says and I have no choice but to listen to him. He begins stepping in time to the music. He steps left, keeping a firm, yet gentle, grasp on my waist as he leads me with him. The music plays comfortingly in the background as I focus on not stepping on his toes, knowing I would embarrass myself.

"Relax, you're doing just fine." His raspy voice says quietly as the next song starts playing. I look up at his face, and see that his eyes are closed, he looks at peace. I've never seen him truly at peace until now, his features are soft and relaxed. I follow his steps, becoming more comfortable and confident with each stride. We continue dancing until the record stops, and Bucky untangles our fingers from one another and takes a step back.

"That was nice, I've missed dancing." He says and lifts the needle off the record. He turns to face me,

"You know when Steve and I went dancing together, sometimes I'd end up dancing with his date. Poor guy, he was always so polite to them." He shakes his head, recalling the memory. I smile,

"So you stole your best friend's dancing date?" I ask playfully and he shrugs.

"I wouldn't say I stole them, it was more of a brief borrowing." He tries to justify it and I roll my eyes,

"I'm sure Steve saw it differently." I say, trying to envision Bucky back in the '40s sweeping Steve's date off her feet. Bucky starts flipping through a few different records, and I remember I have to meet Bruce in the lab.

"Hey Bucky, I'll be back tomorrow, I have some lab work I need to do." I say and he nods, giving a small wave.

"See ya tomorrow, bring your dancing shoes." He smirks and I shake my head,

"We'll see about that." I walk out of the room, content with how the day went. I make my way to the lab, and wonder where Steve went off to. I open the door to the lab and see Bruce sitting there, working on a pair of sunglasses.

"Hey Adalyn." Bruce pauses from his work and I sit down across from him.

"Hey Bruce, any luck?" I ask and he shakes his head. He places his glasses on top of his head and rubs his eyes.

"No, to be honest I don't know if it will work. We've been trying for the past week and a half, but Tony won't give up." I glance at the glasses that Tony has named BARF, which stands for binarily augmented retro-framing. 

The idea was to take control of one's hippocampus to alter aspects of a memory. I successfully discouraged Tony from replacing his traumatic memories, and after days of convincing, he finally agreed to not try to wipe out his memories and settle for alteration instead. I agreed to help them with this project on those terms and thankfully Tony hasn't tried to steer away from them.

"Let me see." I say and walk over to where the glasses are. I look at where the lasers are pointed, and try the glasses on. I look at the computer that the glasses are synced to, and notice that the measurement is off. I place the glasses on the counter and look at Bruce.

"Well, the issue here is that these are aimed at the amygdala, not the hippocampus. If you tweak the lasers to aim half an inch back, I think you'll be right on the money." I say and Bruce looks at me incredulously.

"But we checked and double checked that it was aimed at the hippocampus." He says, joining my side and picking up some tools to adjust the lasers. I shrug, not knowing what else I can offer,

"I don't know Bruce, maybe you need to take a break." I suggest, knowing he's been working tirelessly on this project. Since Tony and I are on better terms, he's agreed to let me use this project for my use as well. I think once Bucky's free from the room it can help him work through some of the more difficult memories and emotions, but only if he wants to try it.

"Maybe you're right. I'll make the adjustment and then call it a night." Bruce says and I nod my head, deciding to head out for the night. I walk back to my room and take my boots off. Today went better than I had anticipated, I'm glad Steve and Bucky were able to reconnect. I'm happy that Bucky's memories are coming back with ease, I can't say as though I anticipated it happening as easily as it is.

I get ready for bed and turn the light off in my room. In the morning I'll meet with Steve before we go to see Bucky since he never got around to meeting me this evening. I think we can start talking about bringing Bucky out of the room. 

I think he's stable enough to be out, there have been no instances of him phasing to the Winter Soldier or even showing Soldier tendencies. He's doing a phenomenal job at handling the memories that come back and I don't think he poses any sort of threat. However, I know that convincing Fury of this is going to be a daunting task, and I'll need Steve's support in it.

[lesbiangummybearmafia]

Ok you know the lie that we need to dispel about abortion is that women use abortion as a formal contraception. I cannot tell you the amount of either pro lifers or conservatives that I've heard this argument from as to why they do not think that abortion should be illegal or why it should have such harsh limits to it. This is not any kind of talking point that I've ever seen the pro choice side ever speak about, its time that it needs to be dispelled. Because of all the available contraception that is out there nowadays and with the morning after pill available to think that any woman would choose to use abortion as a formal contracept is idiotic. I don't know where this idea came from but it is very deeply rooted in the pro lifers and conservatives minds.

Just yesterday, Thanksgiving I was having a discussion with someone in my family that happens to be a republican and conservative one of their reasons they believe that there should be such harsh limits to abortion and access to it is because of this belief that women use it as a form of contraception. Now I did try to explain and try to say how logically that doesn't make any sense with all the available ways and means to keep yourself from getting pregnant. That someone would choose to go have an invasive procedure when they could stop it from even becoming pregnant in the first place. I am hoping that it did put a little light bulb on in their head. Cause it doesn't make any sense whatsoever if you think about it logically and you can hopefully take the emotional part out of it. It's definitely a myth that has to be dispel at this point. I cannot tell you the amount number of people over the years that believe abortion should be illegal this their one number reason. I think it's high time that we as being on the side of pro choice get rid of it once and for all. I'm not sure where this idea ever came into being in the first place and when I've had this discussion with people it's never anyone they know directly that uses abortion as contraception it's always like; a friend of their mom's cousin's aunt best friends niece's husband sister kind of thing. It's developed as an urban legend it seems to be like everyone on pro life side of the political aisle knows about this thing but nobody actually knows anybody that directly actually's ever done it. Which I found that usually means it's complete bullshit. But oddly enough the people that have the biggest platforms to speak about dispelling rumors about abortions never seem to talk on this subject and yeah I know it seems like especially if you're pro choice common sense but to pro life it's not. With Roe v Wade being overturned and abortion rights in our country being at the place they are right now which is they could be gone forever or at least for numerous generations I think it's high time that every myth and lies of about abortion is destroyed. Only the facts remain. To make it accessible and safe for all woman in our country once again. Because it's a health care decision that should be between females and our doctors never between any politicians or law makers.

[madaboutmunson]

5 Songs I've Listened To Recently

The wonderful @2btheanswertothequestion tagged me to post 5 songs I've listened to recently, and of course I'll do it because I love a tag game and I love music 💚

Munich by Editors

I listen to this on repeat when I'm writing a certain fanfic 👀 for inspiration and mood setting. The way the singer emotes this song is so powerful. To me, its a struggle to a saviour and I adore it.

2. Inherit the Earth by Burn The Priest

This is the song that gets played the most on the playlist I made for my latest D&D character (Rogue Phantom - Mally Nightrun) to get into character for the game. Its dark, its brooding, its a warning for all the things waiting below the surface in the dark and its awesome.

3. Flash Mountain - Djo

Despite watching Stranger Things from the first series release I had no idea Joe Keery had a band until I made some wonderful Eddie Munson friends on tumblr last year. @munchabunch introduced me to this band and honestly I wasn't expecting to be blown away by the band of an actor, but I was so very wrong. Its so good and wonderfully weird and I love the whole discography so far. This song gets me ready for work on many mornings or when I need to psyche myself up to do something. Great to dance around to and then have a mini head bang to in the middle.

4. I Feel You by Depeche Mode

Depeche Mode are my favourite band of all time, and though I can't choose a favourite song by them this is the one I've listened to most recently. Honestly this era of DM is one of my favourites, even though as a band they were not having the best time. The strained sounds in the singing, and the heavier incorporation of guitars and drums to their music was just perfect.

5. Last by nine inch nails

I had a discussion with someone about what we thought Eddie Munson's singing voice sounded like, and i'm biased but for me it's always been either Dave Gahan of Depeche Mode, or Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails, and this is the NIN song of theirs I've been listening to most recently. I love how heavy and rough the sound is. Just awesome. This whole album is perfect for when you just wanna rage.

No pressure tags: @portaltothevoid @munchabunch @silverrings-n-prettythings @panicatthediaz @callme-keys @mightbeasleep @rvllybllply2014 @grtwdsmwhr plus anyone that sees this any wants to join in :) Please tag me I love discovering music via other people



[wilmonsfolklore]

Hey Tina,

I'm late for this but I was wondering about 2, 7, 8, 27 and 29 for the fanfic asks.

Wishing you a very nice rest of the weekend! 💜

thanks Sophia!! i hope you have a good weekend too <3

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to

infinite amounts of them, honestly. i really like the idea of writing a friends with benefits fic. just because i love the concept people kind of figuring out their feelings through sex. but im very uncomfortable writing smut, so. i definitely won't write one in the near future. i also really really want to write a texting fic, and i think i will do that kind of soon as ive been having a hard time writing prose.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

oh god. i feel like prose is not my strong suit because i always struggle with it either feeling too basic or too try-hard. so. the pieces im usually happiest with are the kind of inbetween summaries of wille and simon growing closer together. they are the kind of things i always make little notes about during the day even when i'm not writing if i'm really in a flow. i feel like i can put a lot of detail in them and i like that. like this paragraph in sticky little words:

Wille learned that Simon would forget his laptop charger more often than not and liked to shower in the mornings and hated rain but rain pants even more. That he drank his coffee black and he loved satsuma’s because they were easier to peel than oranges, and sometimes he got so passionate about discussions in class the pen he held in his hand would start tapping against the desk because his fingers were shaking. And the funny thing was, Wille liked all of those things. They liked that Simon sent them articles about politics that Wille had missed out on, how happy he was when Sara and Felice finally made it official, that he’d once stolen a half full pack of oreos from his roommate because Wille had mentioned not being allowed to have them as a kid. And Wille wasn’t quite sure what to do with that.

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

the funny thing is writing dialogue comes relatively easy to me, but i had the hardest time picking something out because in every important or emotional dialogue scene that i generally love in my older fics there are a few sentences that make me want to throw up now. but that's on improving my writing, i guess. but anyway i picked a scene from my latest one shot, again. i feel like it sounds relatively natural and it's a bit playful. i struggle to write anything that's not overly emotional, so im quite happy with this bit

Wille cleared their throat. “I don’t talk to him anymore,” he said then, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. “Probably for the best, since he had terrible music taste.”

It wasn't a very good joke, but Simon laughed anyway and Wille was grateful for it. “I love Zara!” he protested, and Wille just shook their head.

“You didn’t even recognise her song!”

“Because I was actually working, unlike you.” He rolled his eyes, teasing.

“I’m tired!” Wille retorted.

Simon sighed, deflating. “You should’ve said,” he said. “We could've rescheduled.”

“I like hanging out with you,” Wille protested playfully, an easy confession that they would overthink later.

Simon just smiled. “Me too. But you have to rest if you're tired.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

27. How do you feel about collaborations? i would love to collaborate with someone on a fic!! writing right now to me is a very solo process, and id love to change that and even just talk to people about my writing more. but i tend to get very insecure as i feel like everyone in this fandom writes so freaking good and much better and easier than me, so. idk it's a work in progress. i also dont write consistently At All because of my health, and i dont want the pressure of someone else kind of waiting for me, you know?? but i'm definitely down to collaborate and i have done so when i was doing better back in the day in another fandom.

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

i actually have no clue?? none i think?? i feel like i could never touch one of my favourite fics because i could never ever do them justice

ask me more about writing fic! :)

[mizata]

The final profession of love

Dear you,

It's been a great 2 and a half years and i know it's been chock full of ups and downs, but that's life innit?

I can confidently say with 98.9% confidence that there've been more ups than downs, but this is the culmination of every moment we've been together.

I've seen you at your lowest, and i've seen you at your best, and there's so much to love about you, no matter what state you're in.

From improving communication skills with friends and family, to stepping out of your comfort zones to meet new people or challenge yourself career-wise. There has been so much objective growth and it's amazing.

There are so many qualities about you that i admire, be it the discipline to wake up everyday despite mental heaviness, or cultivating healthy habits for food or exercise. This was always something that i lacked myself and i was hoping to one day achieve that same level of self-discipline.

I've learnt so much about other necessary life skills like managing money, maintaining some semblance of cleanliness in the room, and traveling pointers. These are things that i never handled personally and i am eternally grateful for the opportunity to learn this through my time with you.

As i type this my eyes are welling up (for the 15th time today) and i may end up ugly crying and yelling into the very blanket that we iron out every day, but i know that this was necessary because it would not be fair to you (and to extent, us) if i let this continue.

I want to hold on to my principle of never having to lie to you. Not just because it's wrong morally and it's not the way mama raised me, but because lying here is the blade that causes the most hurt. And you've been hurt like that one too many times. You've been through so many struggles (most of which you had to deal with on your own), and i do not wish to be another person who disrespects you as a person with very real feelings and emotion.

You are incredibly precious and i wish i could take that night back, but i cant.

I cannot claim to understand how you're feeling now, or how you will be feeling in time to come, but i know that it'll get better in time. I too am still figuring out how to move forward with all this and i can only pen this down and process this carefully. This would be the first time i've had let someone so close to me go under such circumstances.

As i sieve through memories and memorabilia, i am yeeted back to the time where life was a lot simpler. We were both in hospitals, we were both excited to learn about each other and bringing the best out of each other. I will always cherish the little moments of weekend mornings, the times we danced to various genres of music, the times either of us stood at the doorway when the other had to leave for work, the moments that made my heart flutter, and the constant expressions of affection towards one another.

We made many plans and discussed the future in so many ways, and i've tried to be the better man for you. Of all the times i have failed you, this would definitely be my greatest failure. The last thing i wanted to do was make you feel any less than what you are, but i know that had happened regardless. Nothing i say now will change that fixed moment in time.  

There are so many things i wish i could say irl.

I wish i could say all of this (and more) to your face as you (probably) start to tear up (and so will i) because i want you to know how special you are to me.

I don't know if i should send this to you or just leave this here for you to chance upon for fear of hindering your healing, so i'll err on the side of caution and just leave this be.

I hope we can be allowed to still be friends (despite the opinion of some that we should stay separate), but if fate decides otherwise, then i have to accept it too.

You've taught me to live a little more, love a little harder, and be a better person overall.

Thank you. For letting me love you.

May you always have minimal pee and maximul rest bbkeks.

[flyoverkushtaka]

It's funny: When lifting weights, I tend to feel myself in a mechanical way, I have to think about each muscle group I'm exerting, I find myself getting bored as I count down each rep in the set; instead, I feel most beast when I'm motile, running, swimming, biking. That's when I can really let myself go, let my mind and heart expand on the treadmill or over the distant trail, or back and forth across the surface of the olive-green lake. The endorphins sustain when afterward I lie naked and sweaty on my bed, panting, euphoric, always eventually horny, ready. Moving gets me excited. I need it. Over the Labor Day weekend, my friend from Recon and I took a trip to Oklahoma City to bivouac in a particular hotel and take advantage of the amenities. Some of the best fun I had was swimming in the pool, back and forth, back and forth, over and over. The water was salt, the sun was brilliant, the music was perhaps a little too loud, but you can't fight Gay City Hall and the conversation was pleasant, whether it was discussing the fine differences between letting someone top you and masturbating with the same person on webcam, or an older man telling me that he wanted to eat my ass for a very long time. While walking down one of the hotel's corridors one night, I crossed path with a man around my age coming out of a room; we smiled at each other, then I turned my head to give him one last glance, to find that he was doing the same. We struck up a brief conversation that turned into an immediate assignation, and I found myself driven in a stranger's car littered with empty Body Armor bottles to a two-dogged house where he sucked my dick and then I fucked him in several directions. He called me Daddy and Sir and at one point commanded me to choke him, and I did for a little while, though I always find the thing so awkward, not sure how hard is too hard or hard enough. I came on his face and he liked that. On the drive back to the hotel he told me that as soon as he'd felt my sweat drip onto his face he'd gone into a total frenzy, and that he rated me in the top five of his overall sexual experiences. I briefly considered the possibility of asking him to come back to Arkansas with me and cohabit as my live-in fucktoy, relieving him from the mess of a life that compounded his emotional quagmire. Instead we made noises about staying in touch.

When I'm running, my best moments are when I suddenly realize I've been thinking nothing at all.

My other favorite part of the trip was visiting the First Americans Museum. Though dearthy on artifacts and exhibits, there is a mound constructed in the old tradition attached to the museum. As my friend and I walked the trail up to its summit, I found everything around me growing calmer, more tranquil. The sounds of the city grew distant. The breeze rustled the tall grasses beautifully. Emerald locusts clung to plump stalks, and swayed with stoicism. Overhead, a single bird of a species I couldn't identify whirled in spirals, up and up and then down again, like a guide into a higher realm. There were sunflowers. Much of the signage talked in terms of healing the land; I felt that up there at that moment.

I find I run differently on the treadmill than on the trail. I wonder if it's a matter of consistency.

I've been talking recently with a man on Scruff who runs five miles every day. I was predictably impressed by this, considering how exhausted I am after a single mile. If I got up early enough, I could catch him after his morning run and sniff and lick all over his sweatsoaked body and savor all his wonderful and interesting smells before going to work. Next Wednesday will be the taste test. Maybe if we hit it off, I'll see if he wants to go running together.

JM

[dzpenumbra]

12/12/22

Today was intense, but overall good. The meds hit Max really hard last night. She could barely walk. I was really babysitting her around the stairs, it just completely slipped my mind that last time she did these meds we were in a one-story house, now we're in a loft. After a bit of juggling and making sure her needs were met, we went to bed. She woke me up a few hours later by peeing on the weighted blanket next to me. I honestly couldn't even tell if it was pee at first, it thought she had drooled. It was very confusing. I just had to soak it up and wash it out with a pair of socks, I really didn't have anything else, then I got back to sleep.

Then, in the AM, she wouldn't eat her dosed breakfast, not all of it. I tried every strategy I knew. I do have to say, with how extremely stressful and powerless that kind of situation made me feel, I'm very proud of my emotional management of it. I didn't lose my cool at all, I stayed calm and encouraging and tried to make the best of it all.

The appointment went well. The nurse was very nice and high energy, and had pretty eyes. Yeah, I'm feeling overwhelmingly single lately. But it's not like I have ever gone out and like... hit on people... so, I just was nice and friendly, like I usually am. I wonder why I'm single... The doctor was very nice, and attractive as well. So it just made me feel a lot more comfortable, honestly. People around my age, who were treating me really nice and like a peer, and were being incredibly sweet to my cat. Just a really nice feeling.

She got the blood draw, I'm guessing I'll get the results in the next couple days. She was super cooperative, despite not getting all the meds in her system. We discussed some better joint supplements to try out, which we will soon, they were out of stock.

Honestly, I could go through the entire day and list off a dozen awesome things that happened. And I will. I got a chair as an early christmas present and built it and it's really nice. I ordered Grubhub for lunch and it was awesome. I did laundry and enjoyed it. I took the recycling out. I cooked dinner. If so many good things happened today, why am I in a shit mood?

It's 2AM. Again. I lost track of time again. I lost track of my cat's prescription, it's hard to see what the level in the applicator thing is and I have no idea when it's going to run out, so I panic-ordered a refill and got overnight delivery. I'm... becoming more aware of my distractibility and lack of memory and shit. Like... it's bit me in the ass before. And I try so goddamn hard, I have so many systems and shit but sometimes things just... slide through the cracks. I hate that this is hard for me, it makes me feel stupid, inept.

And then I watched a video. It was about asking people for support with your needs. And it felt like it was said from the perspective of someone who has a lot of people in their life. And it made me flash back to every single friend who turned me down. When I called my former best friend at like 1AM after a severe trauma, like right when it happened, and she excused herself off the phone because she had work in the morning. When I asked my former friend to retweet my tweets announcing I'm going live on Twitch, and he said that was too much to ask and refused to discuss it. When I was having a freakout while on the phone with a friend --- okay, I don't want to relive all this shit again. It was every single one of them. All of them.

I'm afraid my needs are too much for everyone. Like... everyone. They're too much for a friend. They're too much for a best friend. They're "not in the scope of the work that I do" for a therapist or social worker or life coach or vocational counselor. They're too much to bring into a relationship. They're not available from family. So... who do I go to? Like... who do you go to to get your needs met when even the professionals turn you down?

I could hear how difficult it was for this woman to talk about this topic. And it was heart-wrenching and brain-spinning just to listen to and engage with. It really threw the night in a tailspin and uncorked a lot of emotions.

I have the curse of giving and giving and giving, everything that I have and more. And having every person I give to either disappear when they've taken what they want.... or stick around to tell me that what I need is not something they are willing to offer, but they still want to keep taking. You know, cuz that's healthy. Like I even choose what my needs are. And it's fucked up, because over the last like 5 years I started going down this rabbit hole of like... reducing my needs to the smallest amount possible. Asking for as little as possible. And you'd think the problem would change, right? It didn't. It didn't change at all. I walked away from a friend because I told her I wanted to hang out more than once a month, and that "penciling me in" for a phone call a month later was... well... I wish I had said "insulting to our 10 year friendship", but I just kinda froze in disbelief that it was actually happening and quietly but quickly found an emergency exit.

I guess the theme here is... I don't know what to expect from people. And I feel like I am too much for others. I have so much to give. So much love, so much creativity, so much effort, wisdom, strategy. And I really don't feel like my needs are "too much". I would know, I'm literally the only one who has been responsible for them for like... the majority of my life. I have never had a girlfriend that was responsible for my needs, or even really expected to attend to them. Like, I had one girlfriend that has ever even lived with me and I was genuinely surprised when she participated in supporting me with like... medical stuff. Yes, financial support has been present most of my life - at a pretty big cost, to be fair - but emotional, practical, spiritual, psychological support? Hell no. It makes me start to wonder if it's even a real thing, and if so, how rare it is.

Maybe that's why I don't flirt, and why I freeze up when I'm supposed to write a "compliment" on Bumble to like... even have a snowball's chance of being noticed by that person. It's not that I don't know how. There's a really passive, buried, primal reflex that just blanks my brain. I think it's "protecting" me. Protecting me from falling head-over-heels with another... this word is going to sound harsh... parasite.

I'm so blinded by my insecurity around my needs, that I don't see the... irony in all this. I struggle to even voice my needs, to even ask, because I'm afraid it's too much, I'm afraid I'll scare them off, stuff like that. These people that I've been around, that I've been close to. They don't even ask. They fucking take. They walk into my home with boots on and track shit around my house, and casually talk about it knowing that I'm not going to call them out on it. They start emotionally dumping on me without asking permission, and rarely ever --- oh man, I was saving that one, fuck it, let's go bigger. They. Do. Not. Apologize. For. Shit. And me? I apologize for shit I didn't even do. I apologize for my cat trying to get into a locked metal cabinet. I apologize for showing up only 10 minutes early when I was intending to show up 15 minutes early. They walk into my life, take what they want, do what they want, wrap it all around their schedule and their life, then throw a fit when I ask for anything to be done on my terms. To even consider my needs.

I'm scared of meeting another one of those, because my track record is... not good, to say the least. And, more than anything, I'm afraid of not being able to identify them until it's too late. So, I guess the best I can hope for is for them to play their cards early, and for me to notice and be brave enough to walk away.

I shit you not, all of this goes through my head when I think about dating. Or even making friends. And it sucks. Because I'm a really good friend. And I bet there are some really cool people out there. I just... I'm really fragile. I'm supporting myself, and I... have my suspicions that that job is one that I am not really properly trained to do, and that every person I've asked to help me with has looked at and then did that like cartoon thing where their eyes pop out of their heads, then they do the big waving arm gestures "Nope, no, nooo." And these are people who have like... taken care of screaming infants and shit. So like... how bad am I?! I know the weight of supporting me, I carry it every day. And I really think my life would be much much more functional with more interpersonal support, I have for ages. But... I'm just... scared. Of people hurting me again. Betraying me again. Disappointing me and abandoning me. Leading me on, and draining me in the process. Wouldn't you be?

But at the end of the day. You have to climb out on a limb if you want the fruit. That's just... where it is. And today, I was more confident in my own skin than I've been in ages. And that was with a sudden pimple outbreak too! But i did have it covered with a mask, but whatever, still counts. This, again, is a confidence deficiency. And I'm going to have to address that tomorrow. I want to get to sleep before 4 so I'm going to go. This was hard, but this is where my head has been the past hour before writing this, so... this was actually pretty good for processing. I'm finding this action of processing these emotions - "I had such a good day, why am I so upset? Just because of a YouTube video?" - is a super simple process of just... rabbit-holing until you get a broader picture. But finding the core and finding a few little bright sides to it... it helps, you know? It doesn't fix shit, but at least you know why. That can be a lot more helpful than you'd think.

[everwunder]

I’ve found myself strangely close to death for quite some time.

In our limited counts of phone calls, she’d talk like she would left anytime soon. She would leave messages, stating what I could do after her passing. She tries to protect what she could protect. Most of the time, I would be speechless. She always said everything, as if I would live another day with her no longer within reach. 

No words I uttered were about denying her statements, or even a ‘don’t say anything like that, you will live’.

Never.

I don’t know why. And sometimes i feel ashamed for it, because as if I sound like I don’t love her.

I thought my view about death has been crystallized, that death is another normal cycle of life, thus we should not grieve so much about a loss due to death as it is as natural as breathing. 

But I found myself lost that day

I found myself thinking I wasn’t ready to let her go, yet.

I thought I’ve found a friend in death. 

One of my closest friend is heavily suicidal and has DID.

he described me as his ‘best friend’, too. 

He told me he did several attempt in past, but none of them succeeded as he’s still here. 

His grandma passed several days ago, which he said made him drown more in his void and his suicidal thought is stronger than ever.

In my last day off, I met him and we had a conversation until past 3 am. He was crying in that early morning. He cried out his bottled emotion and pain, about how he was always compared and how he was just a victim. I strangely thought he was just a hurt child, aside of thinking he was simply hurt by some people around him. 

I can sense and understand that he is desperate. Very desperate. This guy was simply hurt, and I was sad about how he desperately wants dead and there is no desperation in being alive. Or maybe he was just desperately not feel the void he’s always talking about. I don’t really know, but all i can offer in the end was just a shoulder to cry on and a heart to understand his pain, i guess.

When i write this, he’s currently deep inside himself and one of his earliest-to-emerge alter takes the fronting. It’s been days and he shows no sign of returning as host. I wish he would just return soon. 

A week ago, he said he was wandering from one bridge to another. He visited one of the bridges that is near my workplace, and I chased after him after I was done with my shift. But he already left for another bridge. He said he kept on thinking about how he would probably be dead if he jumped.

He didnt. And I was so so glad he didnt. I was freaking out when receiving those status and messages,my mind took me to places i don’t wanna be at. I was chasing him in the hope he didnt do anything. I’m glad he didnt. I wanna cherish him, and him to cherish himself, and for him to live even if just for a little bit longer.

Sometimes i think about how is this just my selfish desire to keep him alive? His life is his, right? He can choose what he wants to do with his life, right? Even if he wants to be dead because he simply does not have any interest in world anymore, i have no right to interfere right? Of course I have never explicitly tell him to not be dead, because I want him to understand that I understand him and would not force my ideal on him. But the thought of him choosing dead still terrify me. 

I though I’ve found a friend in death.

Lately my mind has been relentlessly circling around the idea of death. Two philosophical essays for competitions, my writing in medium, my discussions, my keen interest on Camus’s “there’s but one serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide”. Many things of death have surrounded me. 

Maybe I am just confused, about how i should think of death. How should I perceive death and life in comparison of each other. About how i thought if someone close to me wants to embrace death. 

I found myself tattering around the edge of despising and embracing death. I thought I’ve arrived to conclusion about how death is natural, and is not supposed to be overrated thing to be feared so much neither its to be underrated that you just want to die. I thought I’ve figured it all.

And I thought I’ve found a friend in death.

[stickynotestoletters]

Izuku x Male Reader Smut

I'm a dirty slut, so .... yeah

Women DNI please :3

Warnings: you push friend boundaries in the fic but Izuku likes it so it's fine, bottom reader, top izuku, buff tan izuku, big tiddy izuku, God kink apparently, degradation, he calls you puppy, a bit of simp Izuku, breeding kink

Izuku wasn't a simp, okay? He was kind, he was courteous and pleasant to be around! But he always had boundaries with his friends and loved ones. Well....until he met you.

You see, Izuku had a not-so-obvious crush on you (shut it Bakugou). Ever since he met you at UA he kind of let you push any and all boundaries that he had put in place with his friends.

Now don't get the wrong idea! At first, when you both met in your first year at UA it was just little stuff! Like, using his clothes or borrowing a pillow. I mean that's what friends are for right? At least that’s what you told him.

He thought maybe he just needed to chill out and let loose his rules a bit. So you were a little friendlier about how you acted around him as opposed to your other friends, so what?

He could make an exception this once and that would be it!

But then you started getting even more comfortable.

And it was good! He was happy you were comfortable around him! It made his heart fly!

You were being a little touchier with him and it was just friendly stuff. Laying your head on his shoulder and in his lap or even just stroking his hair while you cuddle, but that's fine!

He likes it, he always has and always will!

You ask permission the first time you do these things and how could he resist sitting in the arms of a gorgeous man like you?

Then it stays that way for a while a little after UA.

You get a little bold every once in a while after that but it's nothing he can't handle.

He's working out and doing hero work so he has more things to focus on than his not so little crush anymore.

Even if he stays up at night thinking about all those touches. Thinking about your chapped lips and smooth skin beneath his hands. Thinking about your hands and how much he likes them. Likes them in his hair, massaging his shoulders. How much more he would like them if you tangled them in his hair and pull on it as he's fucking you into his mattress. How much he'd then like it for you to yell and scream his name as he absolutely pounds you into his sheets. How much he wants you to cry and scream his name until the neighbors bring noise complaints and you have a sore throat the next day from it.

So yeah. He doesn't have the time.

Until one night you show up to his door. It's late, almost 4 in the morning, about 2 hours after he comes home from his agency, and he just hears these little knocks on the door. He thinks it's the rain at first until he gets a text from you asking him if he's up and if you could come in.

He's almost dressed and ready for bed but for you, he'd sacrifice any amount of sleep to make sure you're okay at any time of the night.

He opens his door to find you drenched from the rain. And he means soaked. You're shivering in these nice little skinny jeans and a white T-shirt. You're sobbing and your hair is spilling water onto his doormat. "Hey Izuku, is it-is it okay if I come in?"

He can hear just how congested you are, it seems like you've been crying for a while. "Yeah, just let me-let me get you a towel, are you okay?" You start sobbing in front of him and he gives you the towel as he comes back."Never mind, that was obviously a stupid question, come on in and go get a shower."

You're nice and warm by the time you come back to the kitchen, he's made you shower and given you some food. So now you two sit down on his couch and he holds you close to him. he's not saying anything and neither are you, but you know he wants you to talk about it."So, I kinda had a breakdown about some relationship stuff right now." You guys laughed at the obviousness of it.

"Did you want to talk about it?" He looks at you laying down on his chest, tangling your legs with his, in his shirt, in his pants. God he wished you would-

"Kinda, I don't have to if you don't want me to." He shook his head to the sides and you sighed deeply," I knew you would say that, okay, it's kinda embarrassing if I'm being honest."

He laughed at you, "Nothing could be more awkward and embarrassing for me to listen to than when you told me, in detail, about your crush on Bakugou." You contorted your face in distaste at him and he just kept laughing.

"Bakugou is hot and I stand by all that I said asshole." You shook your head. "But I was very embarrassing."

It got quiet again and you put your face in the crook of his neck. "So, I figured out that I ....fuck okay so...." You move back to face him and stare at him in the eyes. "Don't laugh but I realized I only want a sexual relationship with someone at the moment. I started crying because I felt like I'd been lying to myself and I've just been under a lot of stress lately." Your blush is not less bright than his at all and he can't do anything but avoid your pretty little face looking at him than to push you into his chest and look up at his wonderfully beautiful ceiling he's never had the time to admire before this.

"You could have said that to me without the weird eye contact but whatever, go on."

You laugh hysterically, a little high on your emotions, "Okay hear me out. I'm a hero right? And using a loved one as leverage is a very classic villain plan. So I thought that was why I didn't want a relationship. Now I figured out it's just the stress! I want something like that eventually but right now? I just want something with someone to destress."

You move your head up to look at him and he moves his hand away from the back of your head, his emotions are going haywire right now. What is he supposed to say to that??? Do you want him to find someone for you to hook up with or???? And then he realizes-"I am not setting you up with Bakugou-"

"-OH MY GOD SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY IT WAS A ONE-TIME THING." You shake your head and laugh incredulously at him. "I'm allowed to be attracted to people who aren't good for me okay? Is it really that bad?" Izuku rolls his eyes at you, "Yes. Yes, it is."

You roll your eyes back at him," Whatever that's not what I wanted to ask anyway." you scooch up onto his chest a bit more and put your hands under your chin as you look into his eye with your best pleading face." Would you do me the honor of being my destresser?"

He could explode right now.

Like seriously what?

".....You want me to what now???"

"Would you rather I phrase it differently?"

"To make sure we're on the same page yes-"

"Fuck the stress out of me buff man."

"Jesus Christ." He practically lifts you off of him like a doll,"If you were going to prank me like this," he sets you onto his couch and walks to his bathroom to go wash the heat off his face, "do it over text next time."

You follow him into the bathroom," It's not a prank! I'm for real okay? Look-" he looks puts his head further near the sink, he doesn't want you to see his red face,"-the way I see it is we're both busy as fuck. We both are mature adults looking for something intimate, which you have not found yet may I add, that could both put someone in danger otherwise." He scrubs his face and takes a deep breath, turning his water off and looking at you calmly.

"Okay, first of all, fuck you. Second of all, why me then?" He knows he shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth but he's not going to do this if it's just for the fun. He wants to actually mean something to you other than someone to fuck. "You could have chosen any one of our other friends. So why me?"

You grab his hands and lift them to your lips,"Izuku, I care about you so much. You're one of my closest and best friends in the entire world and I am so lucky to have you. You have supported me in any way you possibly could, and I hope that I've done the same for you. So I want us to support each other as much as we need in this." You look him in the eyes," Plus you could snap me in half and are one of the only people I could fight that has the stamina to keep going at me."

".....you're so fucking lucky I like you. Fine! Okay fine."

"YES!"

So for the rest of the night(morning?), you two plan out how this is going to work. Rules, boundaries, kinks (by god he's going to need a break), and what times you guy can and can't.

It works well actually. Better than Izuku expected. He's just ecstatic he gets to finally hold you.......until he doesn't.

Now Izuku knows you two discussed boundaries and the fact you can call each other practically any time but for the next week, he seriously couldn't get the mind power to just swallow his fears and call you up. Not to say he wasn't thinking of you, by god he did that every single day even more since then, he just didn't want to bother you.

But then you called him. It was 11 pm and you were very horny. He picked up the phone and immediately just, "Hello?"

"I need you to plow me into my mattress it's been a week, come over as soon as you can, I'll be waiting sir-"

And that was the end of the call. Your house is like 20 minutes away from his but he somehow made it there in 10. He didn't even text you he was coming, so you thought he was busy.

So you were just on your couch, scrolling on your phone until a rushed knock at the door, you opened it, and were immediately kissed on the mouth.

Just a whole ass surprise makeout, he holds you up in his arms and pushes you against the door. You pull away to breathe and just look down to see this large monster of a man pressing his massive chest to yours, heaving so out of breath like he'd just ran a marathon (he practically did). Just staring up at you so desperately, you're not going to lie it was a nice view. You laugh a bit hysterically as he kisses you repeatedly. Then he works his way to your neck, still holding you up with his arms but fondling your chest and ribcage. He nips your neck and sucks so hard you're sure to have some nice little hickies in the morning. You moan as he pulls on your nipples and rubs your pecs in his hands.

Your mind goes fuzzy as you hear him whisper, "Dirty little slut left me with nothing after your little call. Think it was funny?" He kisses your neck again, licking down to your collar bone, "Think it's funny to leave me with nothing? Just the thought of this dirty little pup begging me to come over?"

You moan into a laugh at the fact he seems more desperate for this than you are. "Laughing now are we?" You immediately quiet down, his hands travel to your waist, and grinds his leg into your crotch.

"Oh gods-" He pushes into you again as you moan,"-f-fuck!"

"Damn puppy. Didn't know you had such a dirty little mouth. Why don't you show me how you use that little mouth when I actually get started with you."

He takes you into your bedroom, pressing your hard dick against his own and sucking on your neck even more.

You pant heavily onto his shoulder shaking from anticipation as he brings you into your room.

He pushes you down on the bed into a folded missionary position. You're hazy and in hysterics, as he talks more, "God, look at you! What a fucking slut for me. Come on puppy look me in the eyes and tell me what you want."

You look up and his smile is devious. It's alluring. He's practically ravishing you with his eyes. He’s taking your clothes off and feeling you up, “Your tastey skin, so smooth and soft. Do you know what I’m gonna do to it puppy?” Your head is swimming with full unbridled warmth and lust, you can’t even respond so he takes your face in his hands and makes you look at him,” I’m gonna mark you up so well, give you all the hickies and bites I want to put on you until you’re barely unbruised. How does that sound?”

You yell out, “Yes! YES! Puppy will be good for you please? Want it so bad.” He laughs at your responses, leaving your naked body vibrating on the bed and he moves away to take his own clothes off. His toned muscles flexing without meaning to as he takes his shirt and pants off of himself. Sliding his boxers down his toned calfs.

You stay laying there, letting out hysteric laughs and panting as he stretches you out with his fingers. And he keeps his promise, biting and niping all over your thights and stomach. You fall from your hysterical high as he pulls his mouth away until he takes your dick in his mouth and you’re pushed all the way back up the hill, arching your back and crying out for him as you grab the head board.

God you haven’t been so sensitive since you don’t even remember when. He’s sucking you off and his fingers are reaching just the right spots in you. Sliding onto his fingers down to the knuckle of his pointer and middle finger, flexing and massaging just the right spot, just until he takes a deep breathe. Then he takes all of you into his mouth and presses down on your most sensitive spot,” OH GOD, FUCK! Yes~ IZUKU PLEASE, I’M CUMMING!”

You cream into his mouth so hard. He pulls himself up off the mattress and off your dick once he finished sucking it all out of you. He licks the rest off his lips and hums in delight,” You taste better then I’ve ever imagined.” Ah, you blush so red as he said this. You think to yourself, he was just saying it for dramatic effect. For the moment! It couldn’t possibly be true....

God if only you knew how true that is from him.

He pulls some of the excess cum off your dick and you shiver a bit at his fingers grazing your tip. His magic hands. And he brings them to lube his dick back up,” Gonna fill my puppy with their own cum, how about it, slut?”

His eyes are crazy, this is a whole new side of Izuku you’ve never seen from him. And by the gods above are you excited to see it.

He presses your legs down so they’re almost flat by your arms and climbs up halfway atop your thighs. He slides himself into you and,” f-f-UCK!” He’s fucking huge.

Your partners have been quite average in the past. Nothing to scoff at but not as big as Izuku. You feel lightheaded as he pushes himself all the way in. “Look at you, my pathetic little puppy, breaking on my dick. Not even halfway there pup, but I’ll be nice this time.” He stops and you thank god and curse at him as well. You feel like you’re gonna be ripped apart yet you still crave so much more.

He gives you a second to catch your breathe, then he leans over, presses your legs farther, and starts pounding into your pretty little hole. Absolutely destroying your insides. You’re crying and whimpering and all it does is drive him to go faster and harder. To milk all those pretty little sounds out of your pretty little mouth. You’re crying on his dick and it fuels his ego,” You’re crying already? God look at you, so pretty and stupid on my dick. Such a good useless pup. Never had dick this good. Are you seeing god or something pup?”

His smirk is returned with teary eyes looking up at him, drooling at him,” Ye-ugh fUck-yes God, love your dick so much.” Oh fuck. That’s new.

It was so hot, imagining you praying and worshipping “your God’s” dick. Izuku being rode by you as you cry out for your God.

He laughs hard and leans down to get a better grip on the sheets, stopping for a moment, and then pounding you into the mattress. It felt like he was trying to hammer you down into the mattress to press you hard enough you’d become one with it. “That’s right baby! Ahaha! You feel so good I’m your god? My little puppy’s so dumb on their god’s dick right?”

You cry out to him, repeating over and over,” God! My God! Please god!” And you cum hard, over and over on his dick for the rest of the night. Orgasming and being fucked through your over sensitivity again and again and again until dawn. He finally gives in after getting his fill of filling you up.

God, he was definitely the right one to go to.

And all Izuku could think about you as he cleaned up and got ready to go to sleep with you was how fucking thankful he was you broke all his boundries for him. And accepting the fact that yes, he is the biggest simp for you.

————

-Laika