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lavender-romancer · 1 year

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I'd Do Anything

Part One Tommy Shelby x Reader

You met when you were sixteen and from there, your lives ebbed and flowed closer and further away from one another but there was always something that brought you together.

”*°•.˜”*°•. ˜”*°•. ˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜

1906

When you were a child your parents' marriage always seemed too difficult, with such a lack of care or affection for each other. More like two adults who had married for social convention than for love and you decided then and there that you'd never accept anything less than love.

Your teenage years had a few flings but you knew you were never in love with them, there was one boy you had met whilst watching your younger siblings play on Watery Lane with some other local children.

This boy didn't approach you initially, instead looked at you across the street with an inquisitive expression as he sat in a doorway with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. You decided to walk over to him which seemed to take the boy by surprise.

"Can I have a smoke?" You asked, attempting to start a conversation. He quickly scrambled to his feet and was noticeably smaller than you but most boys were at your age anyways.

"What's… what's your name?" He asked and you smiled before rolling up a cigarette and holding it between your fingers.

"I'm Y/n, and you?" You looked at him expectantly and he quickly brought out a pack of matches.

"I'm Tommy," he smiled and gestured to where the children were playing. "That's my brother John and my sister Ada. Arthur's around here somewhere."

"How old are you, Tommy?" You lit your cigarette and Tommy looked at you hesitantly before answering.

"I'm sixteen, I know you would have no way of realising that. I still haven't had my growth spurt." Tommy huffed and you smirked before telling him you were also sixteen. "Do you live 'round here?"

"I'm at the end of the street," you smiled "I hadn't seen you before either, if that's what you meant." You struck a match and lit your cigarette before handing them back to Tommy.

"Will I see you again?" He asked with a hopeful look in his eyes.

"I suppose you will. But I'll be busier than before so you'll just have to have wonderful timing." You giggled and Tommy's cheeks went pink.

"I- I only meant that we could do more than watch our little brothers play." He stumbled over his words and you found it quite endearing.

"I'd like that. You'll have to meet me after around 5 at the school. I get extra tuition there on weekdays." You took a deep inhale of nicotine and your head seemed to clear.

"Why are you at school still?" He asked.

"Because, Tommy, I am trying to pass an entrance exam. They have a women's college in London so for the next two years I have to work harder than I have before." You felt the fogginess in your brain returning but you had to ignore it.

"I never considered leaving here and you're going to London, it's impressive." Tommy looked up at you and then averted his gaze, not wanting to make you feel he was too small.

"I have to get out of here, at least for a few years. Small Heath isn't the problem, it's my parents and their lack of concern for my education." You rolled your eyes and leant against the brick wall behind you. Tommy saw what you were doing and followed your actions, wanting to seem interesting.

"Jesus." Tommy let out a long breath and you nodded.

"There's no other way for me to break the cycle of my family never earning enough to get by and constantly being worried, I can fix it all." You tapped some ash off your cigarette.

"I can't say I could match you academically but I could definitely beat you at cards." He joked and you smiled.

"I wouldn't be so sure." You looked down at him.

"I could absolutely rinse you when you get all rich." Tommy raised an eyebrow and you looked at him with offense.

"Now that will definitely have to be tested." You smirked.

For the next two years Tommy would meet you after tuition every single day and when you didn't have tuition you would be spending the day with one another. Going on walks, visiting his family or going to his uncle's dockyard and messing about there. He was your escape from the fogginess in your brain that crept up when you thought about the future. He made you laugh and feel at ease with the world.

Tommy had figuratively and literally grown up in front of your eyes, now a bit taller than you and a lot more mature. The two of you acted like an old married couple with the way you bickered and then made up. But the two of you had never breached the subject of romance. Regardless of the Shelby brothers' teasing, the two of you had never brought it up.

You got a lot closer with Tommy's aunt, Polly when her daughter Anna was born. You loved babies and wanted to help in any way possible with childcare. Her and her brother Michael were angels to look after, most of the Shelby brood were. But they were always a bit more mischievous than the Gray children.

When Finn was born things got significantly difficult for Tommy. His mother was dead, his father had abandoned them and you didn't have the social faculties to try and soothe the hurt. You tried to help with Finn whenever Polly had to work or the Shelby offspring went to try to find work. But it wasn't the same between you and Tommy, he had taken the position of the leader of the family and the responsibility weighed on him greatly.

"Tom," you asked as you leant against the same wall you'd met in front of two years prior. "Can I have a cig?" You asked with a pleading smile, he looked unimpressed but rolled you one anyway.

"When's your entrance exam?" He asked.

"It's next week, I'm absolutely terrified. I didn't think trying to get matriculated would be so stressful after this much preparation but I'm losing it." You let out a long sigh and rubbed your eyes.

"You need time to chill out. Polly is with Finn, Ada and John all day tomorrow so we could go for a walk? Take the bus out to the countryside or something?" He suggested and you could have blushed. You didn't want to admit that you had feelings for Tommy but it was hard to not feel that way when he was just so wonderful.

"I would like that very much." You smiled broadly and Tommy bowed his head, trying to hide that he was blushing too.

The next few months after your entrance exams in London were a lot more relaxed than you thought they'd be. But it was all down to Tommy. He did everything possible to spend time with you and never even mentioned university so you could take your mind off it. All you could do was look at him adoringly as he made you tea and helped look after Anna and Finn. Polly often joked that the two of you looked like "a couple with a baby". The first time she said it you looked up from cradling Finn and Tommy looked up from spoon feeding Finn his milk. The two of you simply blushed to yourselves and never spoke of it again.

But the family was beginning to see you as a couple regardless of what the two of you thought about it. One night- more alcohol fueled than you wanted to admit- the two of you had been lounging all over one another as you drank more and more pints when someone started a daring game. Most of it was boilerplate dares until Arthur focussed his attention on the two of you.

"Tommy, I dare you to kiss Y/n!" He announced with a resounding cheer from everyone taking part. You looked at Tommy with a confusing expression and Tommy went to refuse but you put a hand on his cheek in some drunken confidence. He turned his head to look at you before leaning forward and kissing you deeply. In the back of his mind Tommy could hear his brother's laughing but none of it mattered. He was kissing you. Kissing the person who had made him anxious when they first met and now continually impressed him with their dedication and affection for others. The two of you pulled apart and both finished your pints before going up to the bar together to order another.

"Well that was…" you slurred and Tommy hiccuped which made you laugh.

"I liked it." Tommy said in a very serious voice before you both started laughing.

"I know you're definitely too drunk to remember this tomorrow but I've wanted that to happen for so long." To stop yourself drunkenly stumbling you were leaning against his shoulder with your eyes fluttering shut.

"You think I haven't?" Tommy asked as the pints came and you were convinced you misheard him.

"Huh?" You said as he went to move back to the table.

"You heard what I said!" He said happily before turning around and heading for the table. You stood for a moment and had to check your bearings, leaning against the bar. He'd wanted to kiss you? Your head was spinning and you didn't know how to process that information so you headed outside. The cold autumnal air hit you like a slap and woke you up a bit. You needed to calm down and try to figure out what had just happened.

Tommy turned around to see where you'd got to and saw your pint still on the bar. He knew it was unlikely you'd leave it so he stood up and looked around a bit before walking outside. The air also woke him up a bit and as he looked around he saw you leaning on the wall of the Garrison smoking a hurriedly rolled cigarette. He stood in front of you and took the cigarette out of your mouth before smoking some of it himself, you just looked down at his shoes and it made him shuffle uncomfortably.

"This is the longest we've been silent with one another the whole time I've known you." Tommy noted and you nodded without a reply. "What's wrong?" He finally asked and you stole back your cigarette.

"I'm just coming to terms with the fact that you wanted to kiss me." You wouldn't raise your gaze from his shoes and Tommy sighed.

"But you said you wanted to?" Tommy said, confused.

"I did, I do. But I didn't know that you did. For how long?" You asked.

"Since the day I met you, Y/n." Tommy admitted without any shame and you smiled.

"Even when you were that short I found you endearing so I suppose I did pretty early on as well." You finally met his gaze and could stare at nothing else but his eyes.

"So what are you so confused about?" He asked, taking a step closer to you.

"The eventuality that we might hate each other," You paused. "I don't know if I could live with it."

"Why would we hate each other?" Tommy seemed even more confused.

"If something happens and then the two of us grow apart and everything changes and I don't know." You trailed off and just lent against the wall and looked up at the sky.

"You're thinking too much again." Tommy smirked and you rolled your eyes.

"You're a bastard." You smiled a bit, not willing to admit he was right.

"You need to be in the moment." He said softly, moving slightly closer to you, your eyes met his before he leant down and kissed you.

You spent the night with him after that but waking up in his bed partially clothed with a banging headache, all you could feel… was regret. You prayed he wouldn't remember the night, the kiss and everything after. As you left that morning from the Shelby house you were so familiar with, you almost didn't look back.

By the following week much has gone back to normal between you and Tommy with neither of you broaching the topic of the night in question because what was there to say? There was an air of difference between the two of you but you refused to address it. You were back to hanging out together platonically, looking after each other's siblings and dealing with all the teasing about you both 'looking like a couple'. Even if you had to suppress your feelings forever it would be worth it. Tommy was worth more than a night of a drunken mishap, it wasn't that you regretted the act, you did regret the way it happened. You didn't want the first kiss you shared to be influenced by alcohol or the first night you spent together. You wanted it to be normal.

That week you received your letter from Bedford College and practically ran to the Shelby household. You burst through the door unable to speak with how out of breath you were, all of the Shelby's looked at you as if you were insane but you shook the letter at them whilst puffing. Polly took the letter from your hand and quickly opened it as you keeled over.

"Oh my god." Polly said quietly looking at the letter.

"W-what?" You managed to get out, absolutely terrified.

"You got in." She turned her head to you with wide eyes and a smile. You genuinely felt like you might faint.

"We've got an academic in the family!" Arthur yelled with a smile and even Finn started laughing happily. Your eyes fixed on Tommy and he smiled at you but his eyes were sad.

"Well done sweetheart." Polly said before embracing you in a close hug. "You deserve it."

"I think I might need a drink." You said quietly and she laughed.

Polly cooked you all dinner and sitting together you couldn't believe you would have evenings like this for a while. You looked at the faces of all of the people you were able to call your family and just wanted them all to come with you. The security blanket you'd had these last two years would be so far away in only a month. Anything you knew would be so far away and it was incredibly daunting. As you were all cleaning up, you and Tommy had been saddled with washing and drying, it had been about five minutes and he hadn't said a word.

"Are you alright?" You asked him and he nodded. "You have absolutely nothing to say to me?" You prompted and he rested his hand against the countertop.

"I'm happy for you." He replied in the most deadpan voice you'd ever heard before walking out of the backdoor. You sighed deeply before placing the plate you were holding back in the sink and following him outside. He was sitting on a rusty metal chair smoking a cigarette and didn't walk away as you approached him so it seemed he did want to discuss whatever was going on.

"Please talk to me," you said softly as you pulled an upturned box closer to sit near Tommy.

"What is there to say?" He brought his eyes to yours and you could see the glint of a tear forming before he sniffed and looked down.

"I know everything is changing, you know I love this place, I love your family I love…" you trailed off. "Anyways, you know I love it here with all of you but just because I love something doesn't mean that I can't want better opportunities for myself even if they are somewhere else. You understand what it is to want to protect people and I can do that with proper qualifications and a good job. I can help all of you the way I want too."

"We're not asking for charity." Tommy said harshly and you were taken aback.

"Charity? It would be a gift for all you have done for me." You were referring to the whole family but it felt as if your words were so directed towards Tommy you just didn't know how to express yourself.

"Everything is going to change." Tommy said simply and you rubbed the back of your neck anxiously.

"But you knew it would, for years you've known my plan." You tried to explain and he scoffed.

"It's different now. We're different now and it's not the same as before." Tommy tried to subtlety wipe his eyes but you saw it and it sent a pang to your chest.

"What do you mean?" You tried to deflect from what he was referring too.

"Don't tell me you're still pulling a 'Im too drunk to remember' excuse. You know what I'm talking about and honestly, I think we both might be finished with this conversation." Tommy stood up and tried to walk away but you grabbed his hand and then his leg and held on like a scolded child. You didn't know how to express yourself but you knew you wanted him with you. In whatever capacity that was, you didn't care.

"Please." You whispered and you heard Tommy sigh before stroking your hair.

The two of you stayed like that for a moment before Tommy sat down again. Your eyes were glassy and threatening to release tears at any point and Tommy knew that. You took hold of Tommy's hand and traced the lines of his palm so you didn't have to look him in the eye.

"I did what I did because I was scared. I meant what I said when I was talking about how worried I was that you'd hate me because things would change. Not that I didn't want them too but that they could end badly and then nothing would work the same as before. I'd much rather sacrifice my own happiness than our bond and the closeness I have with your family." You explained quietly and Tommy closed his fingers around your index finger tracing his hand. You looked up at him and could see the hint of a smile before he pulled you closer to him.

"The affection I feel for you would overpower any petty fight or disagreement we might have." He said softly and you smiled slightly, it tugged at the edges of your mouth like an annoying child.

"I'm sorry for leaving and-" you began but Tommy just shook his head.

"Everything is settled now." Tommy picked up your hand and kissed your palm. "I think-"

"We're going to the pub do you-" Arthur started saying as he opened the backdoor but then saw you holding hands and burst out laughing before going inside.

"Oh Jesus Christ." Tommy muttered that you could only laugh, which caused you to lean backwards and forget you weren't sitting on a chair. You tumbled backwards and hit the ground hard but you were laughing so intensely you ignored the pain.

"Fuck me, that hurt." You giggled as Tommy helped you to your feet. When you were stable Tommy kept hold of your hands and looked down into your eyes.

He was so beautiful. It took you back every time you looked at him, the way his lips parted slightly when he was near you or how his hair fell over his face so he'd constantly be pushing it back. Everything Tommy did was so endearing it was hard not to feel the way you did for him. When he leant forward to kiss you, it was the first time you had both been affectionate with one another with clear heads. It didn't feel real, like a daydream that would wander into your head whenever you were staring off into the distance- whenever someone tried to get your attention and it took a moment it was because you were usually thinking about Tommy.

"I'd do anything for that to happen again." Tommy whispered as the two of you lent your foreheads against one another.

Your stomach felt like it jumped out of your body, did an excited somersault and jumped back into your body. All you could do was smile.

next chapter

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firegirl888101 · 1 year

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Insatiable Madness (6)

|Sagau Yandere Fatui Harbingers x Reader|

And so they remain in this world for longer than what they planned.

Reader is Gender Neutral!

"What gave you the idea I can tell the future?" You scoffed.

"That doesn't matter! Tell me, do I become the strongest? Does Lord Capitano finally recognise my strength and duel me?" He answered.

"How am I supposed to know? The game isn't even finished, you psychopath!"

"It can't be that far away that even you don't know." He scoffed.

"It's not a question of how far in the future it is, it's whether I can actually answer it or not that matters!"

"Oh, so you do know but you just can't tell me because it would mess with the future! I see..." He muttered to himself.

That is not what I meant.

"Tartaglia leave the poor Decider alone. We've tormented them enough." Pulcinella scolded, prodding his walking stick at the ginger.

"But I need to know!--"

"-And you will learn what you want later, when The Tsaritsa has finished her plans with them." He scolded.

"Come on, boy, I thought I taught you better than this."

"Dottore what is taking so long!? I was promised we wouldn't stay here much longer." Sandrone raised her voice.

Why is that cosplayer so pissy? It's not like she can actually 'traverse back to Teyvat' like she says she can.

"I'm not sure, let me redo my calculations." He replied.

All Sandrone did was groan in response. "Fine! You do your calculations, I'm taking The Decider with me."

"Don't stray too far!" Columbina waved, giggling at The Doctor's increasing speed in shuffling his papers.

You felt her grab you by your restraints and drag you with her, she seemed to be heading behind the counter.

"Now that I have your undivided attention," She coughed into her hand. "Educate me about these beautiful machines this place has!"

"What."

"I have never seen machinery so big and so seemingly illustrious in my lifetime! You simply must report to me which genius created such pleasing creations."

Careful there Sandrone, out of context it sounds like you're describing something else...

"Well..." How were you supposed to explain them? You didn't know how they work, you've never worked a day in your life! You're just a college student with barely passable grades.

"I don't want any hesitancy. Speak now." She glared.

"Uh... This one! This one is used for frying things, the things being chips... They're more commonly known as fries though."

"Ah, I see... And I suppose the liquid in this 'basin' is oil?" She questioned, tracing her hand on the metal.

"It's not a basin, that would be in a bathroom... But yes, it is. I also advise that you don't touch it, it's most likely still hot. Not that I'd mind it burning you..."

"What did you say, you unrisable creature?" She spat, turning to you with a blank gaze.

"Nothing, Sandrone." You sighed. "Now that I answered your question, will you answer one of mine?"

"Of course not. It's also 'Lady Sandrone' to you." She smiled, turning back to the oil with a look of interest.

"So... how does one make and then 'fry' these 'chips' in this machine?"

"Would you like the basics or the very start of the process?" You sighed, you really didn't want to explain that you cut a potato and then clean and so on.

"The very start, just who do you take me for?"

Fantastic. You shouldn't really be picky in this type of situation though.

"You take a potato, clean it then cut it into strips..."

"Important! Thin or thick strips? What's the exact diameter? The length?"

"It depends what type of chips you want, as typical fast food chain's ones are thin like fries they're quite thin and short. Those who get long ones are said to be the luckiest." You explained to her, as she writes everything down on a piece of paper.

"And the diameter?"

"You don't need a specific size, as long as they're somewhat equal they're fine. They're going to be eaten anyway, I don't see why you're making such a big fuss."

She stayed quiet for a moment. "I want them to be perfect."

Nothing is perfect but if I said that she'd get even more pissed off.

"Next, you take your clean cut chips and put them in this basket. You then place the basket with chips in the oil and wait for a certain amount of time for them to cook."

"For how long?" She questioned. "I don't know? I've never personally used one before, I'm just saying what I've seen others do."

...and by 'seen what others do', you mean impatiently peering behind the front desk to see what the workers are up to.

"Useless, and here I thought you were becoming convenient for me." Sandrone scoffed.

"Well, the chips are supposed to be a golden colour so I think that's context enough..." You mumbled.

"And then what? Surely there is more."

"Not really, once they're cooked you put salt on them then eat. Some like to eat them straight away, but I like to add sauce sometimes."

"Excellent, I have written every word of your explanation down. As you provided the least minimal detail possible, you will show me a clear and explained demonstration." She scolded.

"I'm sorry, you want me to use one of these machines to help you with your notes?"

"Precisely." She nodded to herself.

"No." You answered shortly. "I have no idea how to operate one of these machines, what if I set fire to the building?"

That's a bit dramatic, but you don't want to embarrass yourself. Besides, a fire could count as arson and you weren't willing to potentially get yourself to prison with the rest of these lunatics.

"I suppose that is anxiety raising. Especially when I've been ordered to stay out of public eye..." She sighed to herself.

"What a dilemna this situation is. I'll have to take the machine apart and rebuild it once I return to my lab. You will aid me in my endeavour, won't you?" She glared.

She's good at staying in character. It's freaking me out.

"S-Sure..." You stuttered in fear.

"Excellent." She smiled at you once more.

Suddenly, lots of cars could be heard from outside the building. You could tell they were fast as the sounds left as soon as they came.

Oh, please tell me that's help!

"What was--"

"Marionette, bring The Decider now!" Dottore shouted from the other room. "We need to get out of here, they alerted their own soldiers!"

"You did what while under my merciful eye?" She turned to you.

"Sandrone, there's no time to be mad! Get your puppeteering arse over here right now!"

"Ugh."

She dragged you to the rest of the harbingers, who all gave you nasty glares.

"What did you do!?" Signora screamed in your face.

"I called the authorities to arrest you nutcases! You're all delusional and high in the fucking sky if you think you're the actual Fatui Harbingers from a fictional game!"

"Did it ever occur to you that you are currently being held hostage by multiple enemies of yours? You have courage to do such a thing while captured by us." Capitano praises.

"We have circled the entire building! Give the hostage and we will arrest peacefully!" An officer yelled from the front entrance.

Finally! I thought they'd never arrive.

"Dottore what do we do?" Arlecchino shouts at him. "Let's just kill them all again, it worked before didn't it?" Childe grinned.

"Not this time, Tartaglia. Even if we disposed of these soldiers, I am positive more would soon arrive." Capitano stated, unmoving unlike most harbingers.

"So you're saying even if we take care of them, we'll still be outnumbered."

"They're not soldiers, idiots. They're police officers who work for justice." You spat at them.

They all looked at you, silently telling you to shut up then turned back to eachother.

"Listen to me, as I'll only suggest this once." Signora thought outloud. "I'll freeze them with my cryo delusion, then we'll run to a safe place? As much as I'd hate to do that as I'm wearing heels, I believe it's our only option."

"I agree with Rosalyne," The old man coughed. "We need speed and tactiful thinking if we wish to leave this world."

"Signora, I've never known you to be so vague!" Childe laughed at her, looking at Pulcinella in hopes he'll laugh along with him.

"She's obviously talking about the park we entered this world in." Arlecchino scoffed at his behaviour.

"Then that is what we shall do." Pierro agreed.

Signora then pushed herself through the double doors calmly. You couldn't see what was happening due to Capitano covering your view, but you could hear screams and hysterical laughter.

"Please don't tell me she's killing them." You muttered, a look of repulsion present on your face.

"Did you even listen to her plan? She's not killing anyone." Sandrone rolled her eyes.

"I don't trust you, nor do I trust her."

"A wise decision on your part, but it doesn't aide your case of being kidnapped." Pierro answered for her.

"I'm aware of that, arsehole..." You whispered. "Pardon?" He glared.

"You know what? I've had enough of staying quiet. Fuck every single one of you! I hope that one day you breathe a vapes' cancerous flavour and your lungs dissolve at the second!"

"What's a vape?" Dottore turned to you.

"Okay, maybe I've been assuming too much, maybe you imported some illegal drugs from elsewhere? That's not the point though." You sighed.

"I feel better now that I got that out of my chest." You smiled to yourself, noticing Capitano giving you a blank stare through his mask in return.

"It certainly doesn't help you, but you do what you deem fit."

"Let's move!" Signora's voice could faintly be heard from outside, the harbingers one by one leaving the building through the doors.

"Apologies." Capitano coughed into his hand, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder.

"Hey! I can walk myself, you tied my wrists together not my ankles!" You argued to him.

"Does it look like he wants you over your shoulder?" Scaramouche rolled his eyes, before realising something.

"Nevermind, you wouldn't be able to see." He laughed in your face, hitting your head which banged against Capitano's back.

"Dude! Careful, I don't want to be near his arse! Besides, I--"

You stopped yourself from talking when you managed to turn your head to the police officers outside. They looked in terrible condition, you thought Signora was being drugged up when she went on about her cryo delusion!

Seeing the police officers shout to each other as they struggle against the ice freezing them in place made you realise one very important thing.

These cosplayers... They're the real fucking deal.

How do we feel about some bonding time with Sandrone? :>

I don't want the reader to be too quiet about their situation, but I just wanted to make it clear that they're afraid since they're aware of the current situation they're in. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to write this but I suppose thats what practice is for...

Please don't expect too many happy, nice and generally fluffy scenes.

This is Yandere, a genre which should never, under any circumstance be considered normal. It's abusive, unhealthy and leads to a lot of victims facing awful conditions which they never should or ever have to endure no matter who they are.

This is fiction that I'm writing, meaning it's all taken light-heartedly IN A FICTIONAL SENSE.

If anyone, by chance, is currently in conditions where a loved-one or yourself has suddenly become distant and/or being hurt when away from eyes please get help. Talk to them, or if it's you, talk to someone you know you can trust.

If you can't talk to anyone, find authorities who can help you. Call 999, as it is in the U.K, or your local emergency service. They will always help you, and will never deny your rights or freedom.

Thanks for reading this, I hope all who's reading knows this information already, but I thought I'd include it since who knows when it comes to where you are in the world and whether your education programs taught critical information like this.

✨Elusive✨ Taglist!:

@valeriele3 @pale-value @pix-stuff @yumi-genshin-writer @yuii-v @itz-luna @annoying-mary @etherisy @khalhaimdad @haikyuusboringassmanager @magica-ren @sweatyexpertdeputyduck @booksandteaplusart @9140 @whatamidoing89 @raesleepyhead @nasidibakar @shikanosn @purpleamethystsblog @chihawari @esthelily @stuffyfrenchflowers @conspicuous-mayonnaise @sielt @katsumikumo @greyhoundwires707 @carminerin @raidendeeznuts123 @angelofdarkness2

Quick Reminder Here! If you no longer want to be on the taglist that's completely fine; I take no offence whatsoever so please don't hesitate to tell me. ^^

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xenosagaepisodeone · 4 months

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supersize me is incredible in how potently hateful it is. it's as if the pop culture wasteland of the 2000s suffocated spurlock's brain to the point where whatever synapses that hadn't shriveled up were only left capable of firing off the same demand to keep punching down at all costs that every halfwit with access to cable news and a desire to 'tell it how it is' seemed to have been afflicted with. everyone knows the methodology in this doc is bunk, but what's missing from the conversation is how this film is another artifact of antagonizing incurious dipshit libertarian smarming about how the sheepish masses cannot just simply get with the program and be better. "americans are fat fat fat fat so fucking fat and they love it so much that they'll let their kids eat the same slop that they serve in prison" "wait, back up. the same apparatus that provides elementary school lunches also supplies prison food? and you're saying the cost of healthier food isn't all that much more? is there anything here worth looking into further?" "no. but have this clip of this random guy talking about how we should heckle fat people like how we heckle smokers". what made this film notable for its time was how it was less focused on how being fat makes you look (which isn't to say that isn't still a huge component of it. because it is. and spurlock has endless shots of strangers with their faces blurred out to emphasize this), but the alleged deterioration of lifestyle, values and vitality that comes with the depletion of one's physical health. that is to say, the film is arguing that failing to live a regimented lifestyle causes one to fall into a state of moral decay. this is the buried lede, because ultimately this film is actually-actually about an alcoholic externalizing the complex he has towards his own lack of self control onto fat people.

it is no wonder why elementary school health teachers in the aughts were quick to deploy it in classrooms at the same rate they did photos of STIs in place of actual sex ed. the imagery of this greasy motherfucker throwing up in his car is meant to serve the same purpose in telling kids that this is what happens when they can't control themselves. when a corporation is blamed for something, it's only inasmuch as it enables people to be dumb and fat. spurlock points out how mcdonald's predatory advertising normalizes it's products in places it should not be (hospitals in particular), which you think would warrant further discussion- but in line with pushing responsibility onto the role of the individual, this is framed as merely mcdonalds tricking customers instead of actively encroaching on their way of life via invading media and legislature. no, the real villains are cafeteria lunch ladies, who are not instilling discipline in your children unlike National Weight Loss Hero Jared Fogle, who educates children around the world. one can only imagine that spurlock's libertarian values compel him to feel a sense of kinship.

the funniest part of this film was the one doctor who seemed to know that he was bullshitting about not having any drinking habits but doesn't want to be up front about confronting him. at first he comments on how how spurlock's liver resembles one belonging to someone engaged in long term alcohol abuse, and then later in the film he gives some generic lip service in response to spurlock's report like 'well, i wouldn't think that fast food and liver health are connected, but your report seems to indicate otherwise' before cutting straight to "whatever you're doing, stop pickling your liver". also at another point spurlock goes "lunch time" and there's a hard cut to some fat mcdonalds employees and he's trying so hard to evoke disgust with all of these shots but my response to these baddies is just "zamn looks like they got dinner and dessert too 🥵🥵💦💦💦💦💦💦💦"

but anyway

youtube

#Youtube

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genericpuff · 9 months

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LR is really, really good but I just wanted to say something- this is probably more about the readers than LR itself, but when it's said that LR is so much better than LO artistically (which it is!!), like say in terms of writing, pacing, and art - I think it's also not an apples to apples comparison, since LR has LO to draw inspiration from and a lot of external reactions to LO to learn from for what to do and not to, while LO is both time-constrained and (when it started out), didn't have much basis to compare to.

(The SA plotline is one example.. many criticize RS and say she shouldn't have written it in the first place but that's the thing - she actually didn't know. While I agree it's really shitty and RS has definitely ignored a lot of criticism she should take into consideration, the conclusion that she shouldn't have written it in the first place wasn't something that she knew about until after fans pointed it out. She definitely is mishandling it now, but I think writing that in at the start was born out of actual ignorance - different from her problems now, since she's now actively ignoring and shutting down the feedback she does need to get better. This blowing up educated a lot of people- probably not you specifically- and opened up a lot of dialogue for things that Rachel likely didn't have access to at the start of LO. and has no excuse for now.)

Anyway, yeah - Love Lore Rekindled, thank you for creating it! Genuinely, I do - this ask isn't meant to be a bad thing against you at all, nor do you need to reply to it.

Not a bad thing in the slightest, I honestly agree with you! The reality is that LR wouldn't exist without LO, so to try and compare them feels kind of like... it defeats the point?

Like obviously Rekindled was made with similar intentions, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like Rekindled wasn't made out of spite over what could have been, but at the heart of it all, it doesn't exist to 'flex' on LO, really it's just to help recapture that joy and beauty that the original comic had that I fell in love with in the first place. It's only because I loved the original concept and foundation of LO so much that it exists. That's also why I call it an "AU" of sorts, as a sort of "alternate reality where LO didn't turn out the way it did" experiment lmao Mostly by maintaining the consistency in the original art style and paying off those earlier plot threads that didn't payoff the way we were anticipating or were dropped entirely. Sure, it's trying (and in some ways succeeding) to be "better" than LO, but that definition of "better" and how it's applied was what we were hoping to get out of LO in the first place.

So yeah, when people say "the art/writing is so much better than LO's!" part of me tries to take it as the compliment it's undoubtedly intended to be, but also I'm like "ack, that's not the point!! the art still doesn't look exactly like LO, I'm failing!!" LMAO I suppose that's part of the magic, but it doesn't fully align with my original goals or intentions. That's the struggle of art stylization, you can try and mimic another person's work as much as you want, but you can never mimic the them that's in their work, just like how you can't remove the you that's in yours. I want to be at peace with my own work and what I put into it, so I try not to compare them too much and just treat them as their own unique separate things (even if one of them is directly trying to resemble the other). It's okay that Rekindled doesn't look or read exactly the same as LO, but in saying that it's 'better' defeats the point of why Rekindled exists in the first place and diminishes LO's part in the process. LO has to exist - all of its best and worst parts - for Rekindled to exist, so putting LO down just to raise LR up... isn't that kind of what we criticize all the time within the comic, how it can't seem to hold up its best parts without putting down others? Why can't they both have their own things worth appreciating on their own exclusive of one another?

This is also why I generally ask people to not share Rekindled with the general Lore Olympus hashtags or post about it in the fan groups (and why I don't mirror it on Webtoons) because I just like... don't want it to come across as some "booo you like LO??? go read this instead!" type deal. I want people to be able to enjoy Rekindled as its own standalone story as an extension of LO, in the form of what could have been. There's a very thin line in the sand between Rekindled being just what it is and it being used against the fans as if it's a crime for them to still genuinely enjoy LO. I can't enjoy LO in good faith anymore, but that doesn't mean I make Rekindled for the sake of ruining that good faith in others. I was a fan too, once upon a time, so Rekindled is just as much for the fans as it is for the people like me who started off loving this comic just to be disappointed in the end and yearning for the "what if" that could have been.

And yeah, it's absolutely an advantage that I have in my court that I have the knowledge of knowing what LO started as and where it went wrong to work off of, an advantage that Rachel didn't have. It's like when I look back on my original pages in Time Gate: Reaper and think "man, I wish I had known xyz when I made these so they could be better!" but if I hadn't made them like that the first time, I wouldn't be able to reflect on them now knowing I've improved. In that same regard, Lore Olympus had to run so that Lore Rekindled could crawl. And I'm forever thankful to LO - and Rachel - for giving us something we could all connect over to such an extensive degree that Rekindled could exist at all.

#ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything #lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus #lore rekindled #lore rekindled ama #lore rekindled comic

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no-side-us · 4 months

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The Invisible Man, Ch. 19 - Certain First Principles

This chapter isn't the one that gives the full explanation of Griffin becoming invisible, but it does offer a few glimpses before that.

“I went there after I left London. You know I dropped medicine and took up physics? No; well, I did. Light fascinated me.”

First we learn that Griffin studied medicine before dropping it for physics. I'm not sure exactly, but I assume being a doctor would have offered both financial gain and some degree of social status, which is why I assume Griffin would study it in the first place.

“Optical density! The whole subject is a network of riddles—a network with solutions glimmering elusively through. And being but two-and-twenty and full of enthusiasm, I said, ‘I will devote my life to this. This is worth while.’ You know what fools we are at two-and-twenty?”

He was twenty-two when he decided to devote himself to the study of light and optical density, a subject that evidently brings him a lot of joy. We don't really know much about Griffin's likes or wants, other than maybe cigars and a desire for isolation, so the fact he decided to study light out of his enthusiasm for it is insightful. He's a nerd for this sort of stuff.

"Either a body absorbs light, or it reflects or refracts it, or does all these things. If it neither reflects nor refracts nor absorbs light, it cannot of itself be visible..."

Proven, I think, by the scientific explanations Griffin details. I don't think the story needed these paragraphs, but including them makes the story more immersive. Plus, they're easy to follow, and we later learn that Griffin did teach students, so we sort of get a glimpse into his teaching style, which is fun.

It's also one of the few moments where Griffin is sort of in his element and content, talking about something he loves to a friend with whom he shares both education and history.

"And not only paper, but cotton fibre, linen fibre, wool fibre, woody fibre, and bone, Kemp, flesh, Kemp, hair, Kemp, nails and nerves, Kemp, in fact the whole fabric of a man except the red of his blood and the black pigment of hair, are all made up of transparent, colourless tissue."

I love how creepy this line is. The shift from natural materials to the elements of a human body, the repeated "Kemp" only after the human parts are being named, just the reduction of a man into malleable fabric, it's great.

"Oliver, my professor, was a scientific bounder, a journalist by instinct, a thief of ideas—he was always prying! And you know the knavish system of the scientific world. I simply would not publish, and let him share my credit."

I sometimes see posts about academia lamenting the state of scholarly publishing, and how all the money just goes to publishers, and how easy it is for studies to be misconstrued in mainstream news. Anyways, it's regrettable to see that something like this existed back then, though at a smaller scale.

"In all my great moments I have been alone. ‘One could make an animal—a tissue—transparent! One could make it invisible! All except the pigments—I could be invisible!’ I said, suddenly realising what it meant to be an albino with such knowledge."

The line "In all my great moments I have been alone," sounds like the sort of thing a person who is always alone would assume. That, coupled with him mentioning his albinism a sentence later, suggests to me that discovering invisibility isn't just interesting due to his own skin condition, but also that the fame it would bring him would up-end his social status as an albino.

"And I, a shabby, poverty-struck, hemmed-in demonstrator, teaching fools in a provincial college, might suddenly become—this."

This chapter really does round out Griffin's character. Him having been in poverty is in line with his current issues with money that we've seen, and being the TA for a professor he hates while also teaching students who he finds stupid is consistent with how much secrecy and isolation he desires.

“Money,” said the Invisible Man, and went again to stare out of the window. He turned around abruptly. “I robbed the old man—robbed my father. “The money was not his, and he shot himself.”

There are a few implications to these lines. First, Griffin has prior experience being a thief, even before being invisible. Second, he seemingly had no qualms about robbing his own father, which tells me their relationship wasn't exactly great. A quick search tells me that most parents of kids with albinism do not have it themselves, so I'm sure Griffin being an albino played a role in that relationship.

Also, the money didn't belong to Griffin's father in the first place? I always wondered what this meant exactly. Did Griffin's dad also rob someone? Was he like a banker, holding someone else's money? I don't think we ever get a clear explanation for this. Regardless, it caused him enough stress for him to take his own life. What a way to end a chapter.

#the invisible man #the invisible mail #invisible man #hg wells

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papurgaatika · 25 days

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Last Words of a Shooting Star

Characters: Sarah Miller

Minors DNI with my work please !!

A/N: Howdy..... ummmm. So mitski,,,, yeah that's it. Whoopsie. Thank you @joelsdagger and @carlynkurin for looking over this,,, always glad to have yall ask me wtf my problem is <3 <3 Tags: angst, canon compliant, major character death, song fic, third person pov Word Count: 633 Remember that TLOU is created by a zionist so please look at the resources at the end of this fic and in my bio on ways to donate and educate yourself!!

Summary: Outbreak night, from her side. Set to lyrics from Mitski's Last Words of a Shooting star: https://open.spotify.com/track/7gn3NdQez9Pwbqak4gspz5?si=865e47a42fdb4c36

All of this turbulence wasn't forecasted, Apologies from the intercom

The TV was static; the radio had been going on and off for hours, but it was eerily silent now. Warnings to stay inside, warnings to get out while you can, it was overwhelming. The upheaval and absolute disarray on the streets was a sight that she could barely take in. This was her home, her city, the one she loved and it was turning into a walking graveyard in front of her. “Don't look,” plays in her head over and over again, the pain in her leg blistering, her eyes brimming with tears of both fear and pain “Keep looking at me” echoes with the other words, but with them come the screams and the gunshots. The nauseating sounds that just almost drowned his voice out. The voice that would always put her at ease because it meant she was safe. That despite the mayhem, she would be okay. He was there to protect her.

And I am relieved that I'd left my room tidy, They'll think of me kindly

When they come for my things

She finds herself unable to tear her gaze away from him; The blood on his face, the look of fear behind his eyes, an emotion she had never associated with him. He was strong, the strongest in her eyes. Despite the circumstances she takes a moment to glance at the watch on his wrist, the one that she had fixed for him. Fleeting memories slip into her mind, ones of other birthdays she had celebrated with him. The tradition of putting frosting on his cheek and nose after he blew out the candles, the collection of various macaroni art projects she had made over the years, how year after year the one gift she would give him was a clean room. That it was the one day out of the year she could spare him the grief of cluttered toys and clothes. She was glad she had managed to keep her room clean today, glad to know that when this was over they would enter a place of peace and serenity.

I always wanted to die clean and pretty

But I'd be too busy on working days

She wasn't truly sure what was happening. Why his voice quaked, why his hands held her tighter, why the bright light was glaring into her eyes. She was trying to stay calm, to center her breathing like he had taught her. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight, and repeat.

In for four. We’re safe, we’re safe

Hold for seven. We’re not sick

Out for eig- We’ve just been through hell.

She doesn’t make it through eight, a blood curdling scream cutting through her breaths as they fall.

So I am relieved that the turbulence wasn't forecasted

I couldn't have changed anyways

Her breathing is shallow, the blood seeping through her shirt like the juice she had spilled on the carpet as a baby. The pressure of his hands on the wound leaves her feeling like all the air had been punched from her lungs, but she knows that he would keep her safe. Agonizing cries are falling from her lips as her hands grip onto him like a lifeline, like a child holding a finger, until she isn't anymore.

I am relieved that I'd left my room tidy

She hopes he can see her room again. The carefully folded clothes, and neatly stacked books. The posters she had so lovingly put up on the walls, and the photos of him she kept. She hopes that he knows it wasn’t his fault, that he wasn’t to blame. Hope he realizes that even in agony, even on the brink of death, she felt safe in his arms.

Goodbye

A/N: From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free READ: This account stands with Palestine unequivocally, and so— I require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this. DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS. Thank you for reading, and free Palestine

#papaya writes <3 #sarah miller #joel tlou #sarah tlou #tlou hbo #the last of us angst #joel and sarah #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fic #the last of us #tlou angst #joel miller angst

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k7l4d4 · 4 months

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K Reviews and Rants: Miraculous Ladybug Season 5! Episode 20

And here we are, the episode where Lila does Lila things!

I'll be blunt; this episode, more than any other, illustrates the problem with Lila. Even ignoring all the instances of people being gullible lemmings at the writer's insistence when it comes to Lila, this episode shows how cliched and forced her competence as a manipulator is. Why? Because throughout this episode, despite it opening by revealing that Lila is manipulating three separate women into believing she's their daughter somehow AND making all of them believe she's famous and important... Lila spends the entire opening of the episode drawing as much attention to herself as possible, without any thought towards the possibility that her adoptive mothers will see the pictures and videos being taken of her posted online, when at least ONE OF THEM thinks she's in freaking AFRICA of all places.

This episode showed that not only is Lila not bothering to put in any effort to keep from getting caught, but she's actively making it harder for her lies to be kept by making sure people see her and notice her as much as possible, which is the last thing you want as a liar or manipulator who is keeping multiple contradictory lies running at the same time.

Oh, and Lila somehow being able to pressure a new election for Class Rep into place. Which makes no sense as I literally checked the timeline and she wasn't a student until AFTER the Elections were held, making her entire argument meant to push people into agreeing with her plan fall apart. It's not undemocratic for a person who was never eligible for an election in the first place to not get a chance to run.

Additionally, this episode just highlights how some of the reveals and retcons introduced this season just don't work. The show tries to push the narrative in this episode that Chloe is beyond helping and that Marinette's antagonism towards her is justified... when this same episode literally revealed that Chloe cheating on her coursework has been an open secret, and Marinette neglected her responsibilities as Class Rep in not reporting this to the teacher, when everyone would've backed her up on it. For an episode that had one of the very first "morals" in the series being "for evil to triumph, good has to do nothing," Marinette has apparently been doing a heaping load of nothing... and when the info finally gets out, Marinette basically throws a fit that Chloe... is being made to redo her work, just because her teacher didn't frame it as a punishment, when as an educator, Miss Bustier's focus SHOULD be that Chloe is getting an education... and the fact that she'll be apparently making up YEARS of work means it's still a punishment regardless.

I could go on... but I feel that if I do, I would be writing an entirely new review. Anyway, onto the REAL review, and as always, warning for my profanity.

Episode 20: Revelation

Okay, and the opening scene is of Lila lying to her mother about being in the Savannah. Wow, what a brilliant lie, much effort was put into being believable. Clearly a teenager with no background would be entrusted with aiding in the rescue of endangered animals from poacher traps, that isn't something that is restricted to trained professionals at all! And then we get a deaf woman coming in, who starts signing, and then Lila signs back, calls her mom, and says that the woman she was talking to was her "agent." She says they've "just been reunited," which if this is meant to imply that she's impersonating some woman's actual missing kid, or if there was a missing kid in the first place... this is utter bullshit. And I mean this is beyond the NORMAL fucking bullshit of this nonsense season, in that not only is the idea that Lila COULD EVER FOOL TWO WOMEN, LET ALONE THREE, INTO BELIEVING SHE IS HER DAUGHTER IS RIDICULOUS, HOW IN THE WORLD COULD ANY OF THIS WORK WHEN LILA'S LIES ALL INVOLVE CALLING AS MUCH ATTENTION TO HERSELF AS FUCKING POSSIBLE!? Seriously, the lie she told her "deaf mom" falls apart right from the outset because she says she's going to a "movie shoot in Mexico." Just, just how STUPID is this woman supposed to be!? If her alleged daughter is meant to be a movie star, surely she's been in films before!! It's not as if films don't get subtitles, so it's not as if she could say that this woman just hasn't seen the films because she's deaf (which is exactly the kind of tone-deaf ablest answer I'd expect from Astruc if someone asked about this)...

Yeah, I'm gonna move on before my blood pressure pops.

And we get a scene of Lila walking to an art class, smug in how famous she is with her face plastered all across Paris as the girl on the Alliance Ring... this, this alone shoots down her ability to maintain ANY OF HER LIES because we literally get a scene of her taking a selfie with a woman who she deliberately called attention to herself who recognized her!! This is the kind of thing that gets plastered across social media!! Heck, her fake moms should be plastering her across social media too, because "she's their daughter," of course they are gonna spread the image!! And then we get a scene of her using her fame to get a free bus ride, UGH!!! And then she ends up telling one of her tall tales to the people riding the bus, who are actively filming her, THIS IS FUCKING STUPID!!! PRO TENNIS!? CHARITY WORK!? THIS IS WHY HER LIES ARE SO RIDICULOUS!! SHE IS UTTERLY UNABLE TO AVOID THE SPOTLIGHT EVEN IF IT WOULD KILL HER!!! THE IDEA SHE COULD MAINTAIN ALL THESE LIES THAT INVOLVE NO ONE QUESTIONING HER OR LOOKING INTO HER IS FUCKING NONSENSE, BECAUSE SHE MAKES HERSELF AS VISIBLE AS FUCKING POSSIBLE!!! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!

And we see that the art class is being taught by Sabine (for some reason, how the fuck is she able to teach a class when she helps run a bakery??), and simultaneously tries to butter up to Sabine while bad mouthing Marinette about not taking advantage of her mother's teachings on art. Thankfully, before it can get stupider, all the Alliance Rings announce a short update... I'm feeling some anticipation and dread in equal amounts. Yup, she got replaced by Kagami, PFFFHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! OH man, that is fucking hilarious. A terrible idea, since this basically shatters the established brand of Lila being the face of Alliance, AND alienates one of Gabe's best operatives; granted, she had it coming by shooting her mouth off at her boss, but still, it's too little too late to cut her off.

And after a brief look of anger, Lila tries to blow it off like she just "forgot about the update." Yeah, no, they cut her off and are hanging her out to dry. PFFHAHAHAHAAA!!! It's hilarious how stupid this is. I'm feeling spiteful right now! Now she's spinning a yarn about being "tired of fame and all the superficial connections" BITCH YOU ARE FUCKING FULL OF IT!!! Like, this isn't even fucking clever!! This is a non-stop gullibility train that involves everyone taking every fucking word out of her mouth as gospel!!

Her going "You're like a mother to me" makes me feel gross inside. With how she treats her current "mothers" that isn't a compliment. Then we pop back in with Gabe, ooh, that Cataclysm damage isn't looking too good, maybe you shouldn't have literally wasted your remaining lifespan with non-stop and pointless resets? Then Nathalie, who is clearly still working for him despite no longer being on his side, what the fuck is up with that, lets him know that "someone" is at the gate. Who could it be... yeah, it's clearly Lila. I'll give her this, when she's feeling slighted, she does not waste time.

Ooh, a double-whammy of an ego train! Lila apparently has quite the high opinion of herself for being "the face of Gabriel's brand," which is completely unjustified seeing as she's a two-bit congirl who only GOT her agreement with Gabe because she lied her ass off about Marinette being "a bad influence," but while Gabe is spot on that she's only the face of his brand because of their deal, him acting as if Lila failing to keep Marinette away from Adrien is anyone's fault but his own is fucking rich, and a "media friendly pairing," AS IF YOUR SON ISN'T ALREADY REJECTING YOUR CONTROL AND HAS MADE IT CLEAR MORE THAN ONCE HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING WITH KAGAMI!! God fucking DAMMIT, how dense is this titanium tightwad!? Okay, he's actually aware that Kagami and Adrien being together is a facade... but the fact that he thinks he'll be able to force it into existing is stupid on so many levels.

"Such intense hate, it's almost tempting. But entrusting power in someone who hates me so much wouldn't be a good idea." AS IF YOU HAVEN'T FUCKING DONE THAT WHO KNOWS HOW MANY TIMES ALREADY!? FUCKING DAMMIT, GABE, HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU!? I'd say that he's being smart, but if this episode is the one I think it is, we all know he'll break that bullshit. Also, apparently he can sense emotions even outside of his Hawkmoth form, which is all kinds of disturbing, honestly. And we get one-hundred percent confirmation that Lila knows Gabe's true identity! ...Yeah, this is not gonna end well, at all.

Okay, it looks like Marinette and Adrien are about to learn about the Alliance update... oh boy. Here comes the fireworks. Oh, and a creepy comment from some girl about shipping Adrien and Kagami and needing to write a fanfic about them. Also, confirmation that Adrien did NOT know about the update.

Ignoring Rose's uncomfortable description of Marinette and Adrien's relationship as "the most romantic love story ever," YES, Gabe knows god damn well his son isn't dating Kagami anymore (not that it was much of a relationship to start with), he just doesn't fucking care. WHY IS THIS SOME KIND OF SHOCK!? THE DUDE HAS BEEN A COMPLETE AND UTTER ASSHOLE SINCE DAY FUCKING ONE!! I'd say I hope this makes them kick him out of the Resistance (which mysteriously has had no real relevance since its establishment), but we all know the odds of THAT happening.

Yes, Adrien, Rose is fully aware that the Avatars aren't actually you and Kagami, that doesn't mean they can't be used as a way to harass you and Marinette or feed into tabloid bullshit. Okay, it looks like we are about to get the reveal to Ms. Bustier that Sabrina has been doing Chloe's homework. And... Sabrina literally admits to making cheat sheets for Chloe upon Miss Bustier pointing out that two tests both have Sabrina's names on them... when Chloe could've just said that she had been daydreaming and put Sabrina's name on her own test. It's not as if she wouldn't have believed it!! At worst she would've just made them redo the tests!!

Seriously, WHY THE FUCK IS CHLOE JUST ADMITTING TO ALL THIS!? HOW STUPID DO THEY THINK SHE IS!? And THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY SHE AND SABRINA WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO KEEP UP THE PRETENSE OF CHLOE DOING ALL HER OWN HOMEWORK FOR LITERAL YEARS!! NO FUCKING WAY!! THAT IS NOT REASONABLE BY ANY SANE METRIC!!! THAT IS JUST STUPIDITY FUCKING SQUARED!!!! And that's not even getting into the question on how Sabrina is apparently the better student of the two, so unless she's deliberately doing the homework badly so as to fit Chloe's skill level, Chloe should be getting bumped up grades from Sabrina doing her homework. I'd comment on the cheat-sheets, but given that they are stated to be for end of the year exams, odds are she usually doesn't have cheat sheets and just doesn't bother putting in any effort at all.

And, after taking in a breath, and processing everything, Miss Bustier states that Chloe is going to need a lot of help to get caught back up... Marinette butts in. Oh boy... And she pointblank admits that literally everyone knew Chloe was cheating... and NONE OF THEM TOLD THE TEACHER!? IF EVERYONE FUCKING KNEW, MARINETTE, THEN YOU COULD'VE JUST TOLD MISS BUSTIER THIS ENTIRE FUCKING TIME!! YOU DON'T GET TO BE MAD AT CHLOE FOR "TAKING ADVANTAGE OF SABRINA" WHEN YOU HAVE APPARENTLY BEEN ENABLING HER THIS ENTIRE FUCKING TIME!!!!

Also, Marinette, this "help" is literally just going to be tutoring and forcing her to make up all the work she's fallen behind on. So getting off on an angry rant on Chloe "getting off easily," despite this basically amounting to Chloe having most of her free time taken away to catch up her grades, IS FUCKING STUPID. Also, Lila gave an evil smirk, so she's gonna do something, you can literally tell.

Wow, they are really hammering home the "Chloe is a rich idiot" button as hard as they can. This is literally fucking stupid. This, I cannot even begin to go into how low-effort this is. This isn't Chloe. This is a cardboard cutout they slapped her name on and played voice recordings to imitate speech for.

Also, it's really fucking stupid how both Chloe AND Marinette seem to think Chloe will have any choice in making up her lost work. And now Lila is butting in, acting shocked that Chloe didn't tell her about "having trouble in school." And Chloe, because of course she's that stupid, doesn't pick up on Lila's blatant attempt to pretend this is actually about Chloe struggling and not just being lazy, so she sends Chloe an email. There's also a snobby speech about school being pointless, but I am actively trying to tune it OUT.

Oooh, Lila calls out Marinette (politely, of course) about Marinette not telling the teachers about Chloe's cheating, despite clearly knowing about it... that's actually clever. "She doesn't have difficulties, only privileges," wow, they are literally having Marinette parrot Astruc's BS, and Marinette... TELLING THE TEACHER A CLASSMATE IS CHEATING IS LITERALLY YOUR FUCKING JOB AS CLASS REP, YOU ARE THE ONE IN THE WRONG HERE. Also, badmouthing the teachers, in FRONT of your teacher!? They are really showing off that Marinette's no smarter than Chloe in this. Also, Chloe saying her father would kick the teachers out of school, despite her dad not having that power.

Lila throwing doubt on Marinette not being fit to be Class Rep anymore would be good... if she weren't making it about Marinette's relationship with Adrien, instead of, you know, NOT DOING HER DUTIES AS CLASS REP WHEN IT COMES TO CHLOE DESPITE HAVING THE AUTHORITY AND ABILITY TO EXPOSE HER LONG BEFORE SHE AND ADRIEN GOT TOGETHER!!! And NOW we get the claim of Lila trying to replace Marinette as class rep. This feels like another case of the writers trying to insist "we're totally in on the joke!" despite not getting the joke at all.

If it weren't reliant on all the phony good will and trust she's generated by lying her ass off and people taking her at her word, this would actually be a good plan on Lila's part. Then she goes and tries to throw shade on the election being "undemocratic for not giving her a chance" since she didn't get a chance to run the last time around... WHEN SHE WAS NOT EVEN A STUDENT AT THE TIME!! Seriously, Marinette, YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS!!!

"I always thought Chloe was a gifted student!" Miss Bustier... HOW BLIND ARE YOU!? CHLOE IGNORES CLASS, IS RUDE TO HER CLASSMATES, AND FREQUENTLY IGNORES WHAT THE CLASS IS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!! HOW BLIND ARE YOU!?

And we see that Alya and Nino still swallow Lila's bullshit hook line and sinker. And they literally brush off Adrien sticking up for Marinette, WOW, WHAT GREAT FRIENDS THESE TWO ARE, HUH!? What a "great bestie" and "great bro" they are for their best friends!! Clearly these are two people Marinette and Adrien should trust!!

Also, them describing "saying anything to stick up for his sweetheart" and describing it as being a real couple is disgusting. Legitimately disgusting. If the writers think unconditionally backing up your partner even when they are in the wrong or lying for them is something a real couple should do, or is "sweet," that is disturbing on multiple levels.

"We can't talk about it openly, Lila is too good of a liar!" NO SHE ISN'T!!! YOU CAN LITERALLY DISPROVE MULTIPLE OF HER LIES JUST BY CALLING JAGGED STONE, WHO YOU PERSONALLY KNOW, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!!

Wow, loving how Alya and Marinette are just shutting down any possibility of Chloe ever changing, what great heroic spirits these two have, because clearly refusing to believe someone has changed or can change is heroic!

Alya trying to convince Marinette to trust her falls apart upon the fact that Alya STILL believes Lila unconditionally, despite literally now knowing that one of the very FIRST lies Lila ever told her (that she's best friends with Ladybug) is fake, BECAUSE MARINETTE, WHO IS LADYBUG, IS LITERALLY TELLING HER SHE DOESN'T TRUST LILA AT ALL!! FUCK! THIS!! NOISE!!!

Also, the juxtaposition of Alya sticking up for Lila by insisting that she's a nice girl with Lila literally describing wanting to "exterminate Marinette like the vermin that she is" is disturbing, not funny. It makes Alya come off as delusional and Lila as UTTERLY PSYCHOTIC. Describing another human being as "Vermin to be exterminated" IS DISTURBING, NOT FUNNY.

Them trying to give Sabrina a sad face over Chloe listening to Lila falls apart from the simple fact that Sabrina has always been Chloe's accomplice without any word of complaint prior to this Season.

Miss Bustier, LILA WAS NOT EVEN A STUDENT DURING THE LAST ELECTION!!! THIS IS NOT BEING FAIR, THIS IS BEING STUPID!!! SHE CAN LITERALLY COMPETE NEXT YEAR WITHOUT ANY ISSUE!! Or she could theoretically, anyway. Also, Marinette is going to bomb this election; this entire episode has done nothing but hammer home how Lila functionally rules the school when it comes to the writers bending over backwards to put things in her favor. There is no chance she WON'T win.

Also, it's disturbing how the writers are using Lila as a strawman against the idea of redemption. Specifically, as a strawman against CHLOE'S redemption. This is just plain unhealthy. Also, Chloe's reaction to Lila asking her to be her deputy makes no sense; even ignoring the context of Lila basically telling Chloe "do whatever I say if you want to get rid of Marinette," CHLOE has always been the class rep prior to Marinette, and if she's not reacting with annoyance at being the "deputy" instead of the Class Rep entirely, she should be having a smirk at regaining her "rightful power and position." But that would undermine the message that "Chloe is a lazy brat with no redeeming qualities and who is lazy."

Wait, Nino phrasing how weird it is that Chloe would willingly agree to not be the one in charge does highlight how odd this is... but COME THE FUCK ON, HOW DOES ANYONE NOT SMELL HOW SUSPICIOUS THIS FUCKING IS!? SHE'S GOT THE CREEPIEST FUCKING GRIN ON HER FACE, WHAT IS WITH THAT!? Also, the fact that Alya's immediate reaction is that Chloe's an impostor instead of this being a set-up is eye-roll inducing. Marinette literally having a meltdown and rabidly angry at her desk (she is LITERALLY vibrating on screen) over Lila's lies really goes to show why people don't believe her; heck, if Lila weren't such a transparently bad liar, I'd be hard pressed to believe her myself! Granted, it took about five seasons for her to get to this point, but you get the picture, right?

Wow, the insistence that it's because of Marinette's love life that she couldn't "fix Chloe" is kinda hilarious, since that's arguably accurate. The show has sacrificed EVERYTHING on the altar of pushing Marinette's obsession with getting with Adrien above all else. So in a meta way, it WAS because of Marinette's love life that Chloe never got "fixed"! Of course, that's under the assumption they would've let Chloe change to begin with.

Seriously, Chloe's smile in this is DISTURBING. It looks wrong on every level, and NO ON SHOULD BE DUMB ENOUGH NOT TO REALIZE HOW FAKE IT IS!! Seriously, does NO ONE think that maybe she's just playing along to spite Marinette!? NO ONE!? And it all gets brushed aside in favor of Lila's lies about how "trustworthy" she is, and her "humanitarian work." This episode's moral feels like it boils down to "trust no one because no one can be trusted."

Her saying she's gone into conflict zones is an immediate red flag, literally no ethical humanitarian organization would EVER have someone her age actually near a conflict zone, and her bringing this up in regards to redeeming Chloe feels like it's a stealth attempt at an insult.

And now we get Marinette's speech, talking about how they hoped Chloe would become a better person, and saying how Ladybug, Miss Bustier, and basically the class reached out to her. Right off the bat, this is wrong. Oh sure, they TECHNICALLY reached out to her... and going by this show's track record, that "reaching out" amounted to a single gesture of basic decency and then leaving Chloe to her toxic homelife without ever actually addressing ANY OF HER PROBLEMS. Heck, Adrien in particular is the worst example in that he literally extracted a promise from her to be better, and then did FUCKING NOTHING WITH IT for literal months, only bothering to use it when she'd already decided "Fine, if you want me to be bad, then I'll be bad." FUCK THIS BULLSHIT.

When did they reach out to her? HOW did they reach out to her!? Seriously, this entire fucking sequence just feels like them insisting that "everyone already gave her a chance, never mind when it happened, she squandered it and that's all there is to it!!" The fact that they literally had Chloe NOD HER HEAD IN AGREEMENT to Marinette's cruel description of her really hammers home that Chloe is just a strawman at this point. It's really funny how Marinette describes helping Chloe as "wasting her energy in vein," when it's very obvious to anyone who has seen the show that she's done basically NOTHING when it comes to redeeming Chloe, and as stated earlier, literally has been neglecting her duties by enabling Chloe's bad behavior.

Also, her description of "I'd rather help the majority who are nice rather than help the one difficult person who needs it most" is really disgusting. And then we get Lila withdrawing her candidacy from the Election SHE insisted on having. This is literally a blatant attempt at manipulating the votes by artificially generating sympathy. The fact that she's putting words in Marinette's mouth (calling Lila an idiot, which she never did), it's honestly hard to take Lila's manipulations seriously when they have weird sketchy sounding music on. Instead of making this feel like a dangerous moment of Lila turning the class to her side by acting like a wounded gazelle, it feels like it just highlights how thick the class is when it comes to Lila's character.

This, ALL of this, would make so much more sense and be workable, if they hadn't also shown, however unintentionally, that Lila's lies are a house of cards propped up by luck and the gullibility of her audience. The fact that the people who literally watched Marinette's speech, which didn't include the word "idiot" even once, are taking Lila's crocodile tears at face value is stupid beyond words.

Miss Bustier is honestly being a good teacher in this episode; her insisting that Marinette go after Lila is spot on in this case, as while it would be best if Miss Bustier went herself, class is still going on, and as Class Rep, Marinette IS obligated to provide some degree of support for Lila, even someone she dislikes, when the entire reason she's even in this situation (ignoring Lila's idiotic lies and blatant manipulations) is because she shirked her responsibilities as Class Rep by letting Chloe's actions continue rather then reporting them as she should. It's telling that the show is framing Miss Bustier as being a reasonable, if slightly naive, authority figure as being in the wrong here.

Oh, now we see Lila stashing her phone in the locker, camera pointed out. THAT probably doesn't mean anything! (Sarcasm)

Oooh, now we see Monarch spitting on his own promise NOT to give powers to someone who deeply hates him, who didn't see THAT coming!? For real, he's SHOWN that he can sense WHO is feeling certain emotions at a given time, so he should know damn well that this is Lila, and she would ABSOLUTELY turn those powers against him the second she gets the chance! What is this moron thinking!? Seriously, he KNOWS she hates him, and FELT her hatred TOWARDS him earlier, WHY THE FUCK DOES HE THINK THAT SHE WON'T GO AFTER HIM, JUST BECAUSE HE'S NOT THE IMMEDIATE SOURCE OF HIS RAGE THIS TIME!?

Also, why the fuck did he describe her emotion as "despair?" He can literally sense emotions, and KNOWS that what she's feeling is hatred. Also, the powerset he gave "Hoaxer" is literally just making her figurative ability to make people believe whatever she says, no matter how contrived or stupid, literal. It's idiotic.

I'm confused on when exactly he gave her the power to teleport. Also, the fact that Marinette literally walked in and she decided that using her powers to turn people against Marinette and attack her FOR her really shows how stupid she is.

Seeing as this entire "fight" is just gonna be Lila brainwashing people (not gonna comment on why Mylene and Ivan weren't affected, since them being "no tech" has never been hinted at before EVER), I'm gonna skip to the end of it for the sake of my sanity.

Okay, I'll add one thing, Hoaxer using her powers to brainwash Nathalie into sending her all the dirt she has on Gabe without letting him know is actually clever. It's the ONE THING I'll give her.

Alright, I'm at the end of the episode, and Lila fakes "rejecting an Akuma," which at least in her case makes more sense then the numerous other times it's happened, as she accepted it willingly to start with. And now, here at the end, we get Adrien telling Marinette he was wrong to give Lila a chance, which wouldn't be a problem... if it weren't for the fact that Marinette NEVER gave Lila a chance and routinely tried to call her on her lies, this feels like another meanspirited "Bad people never change, they just stay bad meanies!!" rant.

And they make it about Adriennette, again, of course. It's "funny" how they put a superficial coat of paint over the show's flaws by trying to reframe the character's actions rather then, you know, LET THEM HAVE JUST PLAIN FUCKED UP. Even this is more them acting as if Adrien did a lot to help Lila and Chloe... when literally all he did was stand to the side and, AT MOST, put in a lukewarm effort to get Chloe to shape up that he never followed up on. It's pathetic. AND ANOTHER CASE OF ASTRUC USING MARINETTE TO PARROT HIS OWN BIASED AS FUCK TALKING POINTS, HOW ORIGINAL!!! Because NO, "the good you see in others is just a reflection of your own" is cynical BS spouted by narcissists and egotists who don't wanna admit to being in the wrong or having fucked things up with their personal relationships by making the other person out to be the sole fucking bad guy.

And of course they gave Lila the unanimous vote, because why the hell not. And it ends with Marinette shutting down Alya congratulating her for giving Lila a chance by spelling out that she was just letting Lila have her way so she has a better shot at exposing her lies, and Lila retrieving the email Nathalie sent her. And with that, I'm done with this episode, and it's time for me to grab dinner for tonight. I hope you enjoyed seeing me lose my shit over this. It was actually fun to just vent on how stupid this episode was!

#miraculous ladybug #mlb season 5 salt #mlb season 5 spoilers #mlb writing critical #mlb writing salt

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fantastic-nonsense · 2 years

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going to be quietly controversial on main and say that I don't think Kaz and Inej would live in and/or retire to Kaz's childhood farmhouse outside of Lij

Besides it being an incredibly impractical decision from a travel/communications standpoint and frankly a probably traumatizing experience for Kaz to live in a house where there's nothing for him but the ghosts of people he watched die, I just don't see either of them wanting to live there even semi-permanently. Give them a cute townhouse or apartment in a nicer district of Ketterdam, or have them renovate the Slat and make it super nice, or have them retire to the Suli caravans in Ravka, even, but a country farmhouse life just doesn't seem like a future either of them would want.

Kaz spends a significant portion of Crooked Kingdom refusing to abandon "his" city even though he'll be arrested and killed if he's caught. By the time of the duology he's spent nearly half his life in the city and will certainly be spending many more years there as leader of the Dregs. Ketterdam is his home; he's recreated himself as a Barrel Boy and even after stripping away his armor for Inej and his friends I don't think he'll ever want to go back to being the farmboy he once was. Do I think he probably needs to acknowledge his past and stop mentally separating "Rietveld" from "Brekker" at some point? Yeah. But you can't recreate the past after growing up and experiencing trauma. There is no back; there is only forward.

Meanwhile, Inej isn't "fit for a normal life" any more than Kaz is (which is something I think a lot of people forget), and we get at least two instances rejecting the idea of Inej "settling down" somewhere:

Inej noted that Matthias’ mug sat untouched before him, slowly cooling as he stared out the window. “This must be hard for you,” she said quietly. “To be here but not really be home.” He looked down at his cup. “You have no idea.” “I think I do. I haven’t seen my home in a long time.” Kaz turned away and began chatting with Jesper. He seemed to do that whenever she mentioned going back to Ravka. Of course, Inej couldn’t be certain she’d find her parents there. Suli were travellers. For them, ‘home’ really just meant family. -Ch. 21, Six of Crows

So he wasn’t fit for a normal life. Was she meant to find a kindhearted husband, have his children, then sharpen her knives after they’d gone to sleep? How would she explain the nightmares she still had from the Menagerie? Or the blood on her hands? -Ch. 27, Crooked Kingdom

Granted, Inej is 16 here and your perspective on what you want your life to look like can and will change a LOT as you grow older, but I think it's worth noting that the narrative supports the idea that Inej isn't built for a "white picket fence life" and doesn't want one anyway. She also refers to Ketterdam as "home," for all that she resents the circumstances that brought her there in the first place:

She’d called the ivory-and-amber girl her shadow, but maybe she was a sign as well, a reminder that Inej hadn’t been made for this life. And yet, it was hard not to feel that this city was her home, that Dunyasha was the intruder here. -Ch. 32, CK

Inej’s foot caught the edge of one of the metal scrolls, and then she understood. She didn’t have her opponent’s training or education or fine white clothes. She would never be as ruthless and she could not wish to be. But she knew this city inside out. It was the source of her suffering and the proving ground for her strength. Like it or not, Ketterdam—brutal, dirty, hopeless Ketterdam—had become her home. And she would defend it. She knew its rooftops the way she knew the squeaky stairs of the Slat, the way she knew the cobblestones and alleys of the Stave. She knew every inch of this city like a map of her heart. -Ch. 35, CK

Inej is Suli and an acrobat and a spider and a pirate. She's built for high places and close quarters and close-knit familial ties and freedom of movement...none of which are things that are easily accessible on a pre-industrial farm in the middle of nowhere countryside of a country not her own, far from the rest of her family and friends.

And this is all without factoring in Kaz's disability, which realistically would make him incapable of doing most of the work required of a small, family-owned farm owner. He could certainly do some of it without many problems, but the chronic pain and somewhat limited movement he experiences because of his leg would necessitate hiring farmhands to do the vast majority of the hard labor a working pre-industrial farm requires of its inhabitants. Which, granted, he certainly would have the money to do, but it does kind of defeat the practical purpose of moving Kaz and Inej out to a farm in the first place.

I get it. Cottagecore!Kanej is adorable, and so is Farmboy Kaz; there's a lot of really lovely stories that have been told using those tropes and I'm not trying to pick on them at all. But I do think that the fandom largely wants these things for them without understanding the lack of desire Kaz expresses for it within the books and the practical implications of what that would look like, especially given that neither of them are portrayed as being particularly suited for a quiet farming life, even in retirement.

#now WESPER on the other hand......ideal retirement life asdfghjkl #six of crows #crooked kingdom #kanej #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #otp: on the seas and in the city #soc meta #honestly I want to go more into Kaz's disability and how it canonically affects him #and how that would impact any life he wants to live outside of a city/community setting (bc I live in a rural area and KNOW farmers)#but it's not like.....strictly relevant here? so I'm not going to

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poisonedspider · 4 months

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I saw in the tags of one of your post, you said your version of angel duat is intersex & has both parts.

(This is not a hate ask btw)

Intersex does not mean "both parts". Intersex people with ambiguous genitalia have a single set that is somewhere between male & female, but they do not have a fully male and a fully female set. Reproductive organs have a lot of homologous features (clitoris/penis, labia/scrotum, teates/ovaries), in general intersex genitalia do not have duplicate features as what would be required to "have both".

This is all just fanfic, but it's important imo because the "both parts" stereotype is really prevalent, and it's very inaccurate and causes us a lot of problems medically and socially. I'm an intersex person with a phallus instead of a clitoris, and labia instead of a scrotum. I personally refer to myself as "between male & female", because it's more accurate. I have no problems with people writing intersex characters in NSFW contexts, just please do so in a way that is respectful to us! If you do want to write a character with a fully male & fully female set of genitalia, I would recommend referring to them as salmacian, and not intersex. Try to avoid the word futa, as this is the shortened version of a slur for us. Same with herm.

Have a nice day!

I want to start this off by saying thank you, immensely, for starting by saying this isn't a hate anon. Based on past fandom trauma, I always panic when I see a big block of text, especially from an anon.

I'm also going to say that I can be really bad with words (I'm also at work right now shhh) so I hope this doesn't come off as bad/attacky either, because it isn't meant to be! I'm just going to kick it off by saying, I'm specifically a gender and sexuality counselor. So I work with all sorts under the sun. And I think that what can be the biggest struggle is that there are different variations of everything (if that makes sense?) A majority of my clients that are intersex do just say 'I have both parts' because I think that's what makes them most comfortable? I can't speak for them. But that's how a lot of them speak. Since I'm personally not intersex, that's just what I know. I do have one friend who is intersex who has completely male genitalia, but female internalized sex organs (ovaries, etc.) I have a client who has, per their very blunt words, 'a dick and a vag' (tmi here but like in place of clit they clearly have full phallus, but then a vaginal hole? slit? I'm so weird with genitals). I should also point out this is very similar to my Angel.

THAT BEING SAID. Again, everyone's experience is very different, and I am incredibly aware that this experience is not mine. I would never want to upset anyone, especially in an area that I don't personally endure. The best thing I can relate this to (and I'm aware this is a terrible comparison) is being trans and how people all view it very differently (I'm loud and proud about being trans, versus my ex refused to let anyone know and thought I was a 'performative trans' person for doing so.) This is definitely something I'm going to keep in mind, because this is really helpful information, and I can't project only the experiences that I have witnessed onto the experience of the whole. So I'll be mindful of that, and thank you for this. <3

Also haaaaa yeah no way would I use those last two words. Fun fact, I punched a kid in high school for using the herm word. I don't tolerate that shit. So don't worry. <3

But I definitely think moving forward I'm going to just say 'both parts' rather than intersex. I was just trying to drive it as straight forward to people in a way I figured they could understand, especially as things are starting to get smutty on this blog. But hey, demon anatomy is weird af, and probably dissimilar to most humans anyways so there's nothing wrong with having to explain it in depth in a way that might confuse people.

I appreciate your kindness about this, and willingness to educate. I know a lot about this stuff due to my job and personal life, but we are all always needing to grow and learn.

#answered: i'm sick of the poison;;#ooc: i am too sober for this shit;;

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lesbianslovebts · 2 years

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I had a bizarre, offputting interaction at the bookstore today. I was buying "Unmasking Autism" and even remembered to say hello to the cashier and hand the book over with the barcode facing up. The cashier, an older lady, said she thought she'd seen me in there before and asked what my interest in the subject was. (I have bought several books about autism from this store before.) I said, "I am autistic." She didn't hear me and asked, "What?" I was worried I didn't hear her question correctly, so I asked, "What was that?" She repeated the question. I repeated my answer. I expected her to say something like, "Oh, I see. Makes sense." Instead, she asked, "What type of autism are you?" I froze up because I didn't know what she meant or how to respond.

So then she launched into a story about how she was a special education teacher, there are different types of autism like high-functioning and low-functioning, the store manager's only son wasn't behaving normally in preschool, and she was the one who recommended testing to the family. He was diagnosed with Asperger's and put in the math/science program, now he's an adult working on his PhD, and isn't it great that he got the right help to get on the right track?

I was shocked to realize this woman wanted to know if I was "high functioning (Asperger's)" or "low functioning." I wasn't about to go over the offensiveness of the question or the outdated terms with this stranger, so I just kind of stayed quiet. She backtracked and asked what my "strengths" were or whatever. So I awkwardly said, "I double-majored in math and Japanese. I can speak Japanese and Korean. So, linguistics, I guess? I work in bank fraud now." And she did the "oh-wow-good-job" thing that seemed condescending. The conversation died out, and I left.

Anyway, I think she needs to read this book more than I do. 😭

#autism #actually autistic #functioning labels #aspergers #asd #unmasking #unmasking autism #llbtspost

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planetkiimchi · 1 year

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ten things i hate love about lee | l.t

pairing: ten x fem implied!reader, highschool au, non idol!au, academic rivals

warnings: pg13, used a few curse words (fuck once for emphasis)

word count: 5.9K

summary — ten lee is practically perfect in every way. good for him, because you don’t care. except that he’s outshining you in areas you’ve never been outdone in before, and you hate him for it. maybe the reason you hate him is not because he’s talented, but because of how you’re falling for him.

a/n: thank you @ssunnae for beta reading the last part <3 i accidentally deleted my work on tumblr editor, had to try and copy and paste from docs, realised my docs wasn't the latest updates version, tried to restore the last bullet point from tumblr (which i had just tried to delete thinking i’d just use the docs version) when making this. it was hell. however, i did have a lot of fun playing with the chinese parts! please enjoy.

New year, new you. The careful arrangement of your stationery in your pencil case and the neat stacks of books in your bag are all leading up to one thing really. This year, this year is going to be your academic comeback.

#1: His academic prowess.

Now the thing is, when you say "academic comeback" you're not really talking about going from failing to passing. You're actually already at the top of the class. It's just that there's a certain boy called Ten Lee who constantly puts you on edge.

You're constantly competing in everything that you do now. Last time, you couldn't really care less if you were second or third in class, because you could run circles around most of the people during physical education (PE) class, play the piano semi-proficiently, and carry a tune.

Then, the year that you turned fifteen, a new boy transferred to your school.

He was Thai and had a deceivingly cute smile, and at first you couldn't wait to be friends with him.

"Hi! I'm Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, but you can call me Ten. Because I'm a ten out of ten in everything I do!" was how he had introduced himself.

And honestly, it was a little cheesy, but you thought he was all the cuter for it. Especially because he had clarified the Thai system of nicknames and explained that it really was his name, not just a joke to boast about himself.

So that was fine, up till the point when everyone started comparing you to him.

When he got first in class for math, you were surprised but not disappointed. You had done your best, and since you hadn't studied that much anyway. you were proud of your solid understanding. Besides, you had seen how much he had studied and worked for his grades. It was understandable to you.

But not to everyone else.

Not when he could keep up with you during gym class. He said that he did martial arts, which obviously made a lot more sense, but his stamina was scarily good. It was insane how much he trained and the discipline he had, and your parents started calling you out for it.

"Why aren't you studying?" They would ask. "Didn't the new boy, whose first language isn't even English, do better than you in Literature? It's probably because you don't work hard enough." It was the first time in your not-very-long life that you realised you actually had to start studying and not just submit homework on time.

It was a realisation you could have done without, but it was starting to eat into you. Your friends would throw in teasing remarks from time to time about how "Ten Lee was so smart and hahaha Y/n you finally have a competitor!" without consideration for the fact that you didn't want a competitor. You were perfectly fine cruising through high school and you didn't need someone to put into perspective your talents.

You had been the prodigy for so long you couldn't comprehend someone threatening your status.

Getting used to it took a while. And by "a while", you meant three years. But this year, you were going to be eighteen. You were going to become legal, and you had new worries to think about.

Like adulting, and drinking, and several other things like when were you going to get a house or pay your parents back for your car? Trivial matters seemed to occupy your mind a lot, but it was all similarly linked to proving yourself in the eyes of your peers again.

Also, you missed being validated.

Speaking of which.... "Hey there. I'm... supposed to be sitting here?"

That voice sounded familiar, who was it? As you looked up from your phone, you caught sight of a very familiar, annoyingly handsome face. Ten Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul.

The universe must have been conspiring against you, because there was no way your luck was this bad. In a room with 20-odd teenagers, you still ended up with Ten, of all people? Seriously?

You gave him a stiff but polite smile (mostly to show him that you weren't above having manners either) and went back to fidgeting with your pen and trying your best to ignore his presence.

Sitting next to Ten was the worst experience of your life. When you previously a minimum of two seats away from him, how studious he was didn't bother you quite as much.

But it was a little more difficult to ignore the constant scribbling he was doing in his notebook (and they were good, neat notes; you peeked). His quiet confidence should have been contagious, but it was slightly disarming.

You were about to confidently explain why the work done against friction in your physics problem was 30.0 joules, when he lightly tapped your worksheet and said under his breath, "You missed one step. It's 27 joules."

Lo and behold, as soon as you looked at what he was pointing to, you realised he was right. Your skin coloured and you shook your head, lowering your hand as your teacher turned to look at you.

"Yes, Y/n? Would you like to answer the question?"

"It's alright," you mumbled softly. "I realised I missed something out."

The embarrassment seeped into your skin like poison, making you feel more and more terrible throughout the day. It wasn't the first mistake you had made, but that somehow made it worse. It made you wonder if previously Ten had noticed all your mistakes, and thought you were careless and silly.

You were still thinking about it at the end of the school day, as you collected your books and stashed it back into your bag, too tired to think about organising it.

"See you tomorrow," Ten smiled at you, waving as he left. Oh, how you hated the unreasonable way you disliked him.

#2: His chivalry.

"Good morning." Being greeted by Ten in the morning was one of those things you could do without. But it had been a good morning so far, and you weren't going to let him ruin that.

"Good morning," you replied, reaching for the door that both of you were standing in front of.

He beat you to it, opening the door before you could and gesturing for you to go first. You did, but with a slight huff, trying not to let it show how annoyed you were that you hadn't been faster.

It was a good morning though, he was right.

Firstly, your Chinese teacher was sick and not in school, meaning you had a free period. You and Yangyang decided to go to the library during your free period, happily speaking in Chinese all the way there.

Obviously, your teacher had assigned work, but the quiet confines of the library allowed you to be productive as you and Yangyang listened to music through your headphones (and his Airpods. Rich boy).

The hour passed uneventfully, and you headed back to class, refreshed from the cool air of the air-conditioned library.

Secondly, it was Literature period. You were currently on the topic of poetry, and though some of the poems made little to no sense to you, "Five ways to kill a man" was one of the most interestingly satirical poems you'd read.

Analysing poems was not your forte, but listening to people give their interpretations of poems and seeing the influence of their worldview on their interpretation was definitely intriguing.

Time flew by, and before you knew it, it was time for break.

You would gladly and easily have slid back into the rhythm of ignoring Ten completely, except he suddenly seemed determined to be everywhere in your life.

As you queued up for your food, he moved back, allowing you to order first. When you went back to class, he pulled your chair out for you to sit. When you dropped your pencil and bent down to pick it up, he covered the edge of the table so you wouldn't hurt your head.

What was wrong with him? Why was he going out of his way to be so nice?

Ten was a nice guy, there was no denying that. Even when he was constantly overshadowing your achievements, he never bragged about it, especially not to your face. But never before had he gone out of his way three consecutive times to be nice to you.

Something had to have been up. Maybe he had had too much sugar in his coffee, and was channeling the energy rush through being nice. Maybe he had been dared to do so. Maybe-

"Earth to Y/n. Are you okay? You've been staring at the same math problem for five minutes now without lifting your pen."

You blinked rapidly and looked at Ten, then back down at your paper. He was right (again). It was an easy question, but you were so caught up in your thoughts that you hadn't even started it yet.

Hurriedly, you put your pen to paper and began writing, trying to forget how caught up you had been in your thoughts of Ten.

#3: His generosity.

After a week of sitting next to Ten, his mannerisms became quite commonplace. You got used to his greetings each morning, coming to enjoy the positive way they started your day.

His smile and the way he threw his head back when he laughed — you grew used to it, to like it, even. He brought cheesy humour and dad jokes to class sometimes, muttering them under his breath and being surprised when you replied.

Slowly, your dynamic with him shifted from tolerance to acceptance, and his prominent existence in your life grew more and more bearable.

Take the time you bumped into him at the coffee shop near school, for example. You had left home early, as per usual, and were on your way to grab a cup of coffee from your favourite place just next to the school.

The shop was a small little place along the road that experienced high traffic in the mornings and afternoons when school ended. Students and teachers alike frequented the place, and you were no exception.

Like clockwork, you made your way there for your usual cappuccino (you liked milk) in the wee hours of the morning as the sun groggily rose. As per your usual morning routine, you were about to order your drink when you stumbled and bumped into the person in front of you.

Cursing your clumsiness, you immediately apologised. The person turned around, and you came face to face with none other than Ten Lee. You had been coming to the shop every schoolday for one and a half years and not once, had you seen Ten order anything from the shop. You’d never seen him step foot in it, nor bring a cup of the fresh coffee into class to savour.

It was so out of the ordinary that you froze, not quite sure what to do. Thrown off by the lack of habitual routine, it was all you could to pull yourself together to deliver your order.

“So sorry about that. I’ll pay for your coffee,” Ten told you, and the cashier nodded before you could protest. You wanted to tell him that really, it was fine, and it was definitely your fault, and could he please stop being such a gentleman?

But the words got caught in your mouth, and you stared dumbfoundedly at him as he paid.

Feeling a bit guilty and slightly awkward, you moved along down the queue, reaching out to grab your order. Thankfully, Ten didn’t try to initiate any conversation, and slowed down his pace when you briskly walked away.

That was, well. Perhaps not the best example of an encounter with Ten that was bearable. But you did understand his well-meaning intentions and were starting to get that maybe that was just what he was like.

After all, Ten’s generosity did seem to come intrinsically. He never failed to offer a pen when someone needed to borrow one, or to buy someone a gift when it was their birthday. (That was actually another thing you’d noticed. He remembered things about people.)

Once, you overheard him talking to Xiaojun about the upcoming NCT 127 concert. Xiaojun's bias was Jaehyun, and when Ten was buying them tickets, he'd purposely selected the category of restricted view seats that would be nearer to Jaehyun.

At the time, you didn't really think much of it, but thinking back on it, Xiaojun must have felt so loved to know that someone noticed his preferences like that. Ten's thoughtfulness in his gifts (not just giving costly, expensive and useless items) was something else that made you like him, just a little.

#4: Him being multilingual.

February 22nd was probably the first day that you didn't get greeted by Ten at the door. It was funny how over the course of a month, you'd quickly become accustomed to saying good morning to him. Although it was only two words, they did help to start your day on the right foot.

You had read somewhere that it took 59-70 days to form a habit. It might only have been about 50, but you had come to form the habit of greeting Ten each morning.

So when Ten was busy on a phone call that morning, you couldn't help but to notice that he seemed to be speaking in Thai. You had to confess that even after three years of knowing Ten, you had never heard him speak in his native language before.

His English was extremely good, and the accent could not be associated with his Thai origins, so the way he sounded in Thai was quite foreign to you.

"Y/n, why do you look so out of it today?"

"Hm?" You shook your head, shaking yourself from your trance to say hello to your friend Kun. "Oh, nothing. I was just thinking."

"What about?"

Ten Lee? You couldn't possibly tell Kun that. You'd sound like a silly little highschooler with a crush on your classmate! Instead, you shrugged and gave as vague of an answer as you could. "Projectile motion..."

Kun nodded, unconvinced. But he didn't press you for details, instead choosing to switch to Chinese, suspecting that you wanted to talk about Ten without him realising.

“Zhe shi yin wei li yong qin ma？” Is this because of Ten Lee?

“Ng!” You replied unhappily. “Wo zen me mei gan jue dao zi ji wu yi zhong xi huan shang le ta ne?” How could I have not realised myself unconsciously falling for him?

"It happens," Kun replied, not unkindly. "After all-"

"Wo hen you mei li a," Ten interjected. I have a lot of charm. You half-flinched, half-gasped. Since when could Ten speak Chinese? Yes, you were well aware that he could speak Thai, English and Korean fluently, but nobody had told you that he could speak Chinese!

If you had known, you would have saved yourself so much embarrassment. Luckily, Kun was as surprised as you, meaning he hadn't deliberately tried to put you on the spot when switching languages.

Oh, his multilingual brain was too much for you to bear. How were you going to explain yourself? You had basically just indirectly confessed your undying love for Ten in the least subtle way possible.

You buried your face in your hands to hide the blush spreading over your cheeks, and Kun patted your back comfortingly, trying to tell you that it was okay (it wasn't).

Just then, Yangyang of all people had to walk past.

Of course, the nosy boy wanted to know what had just happened. Kun pulled him aside, gently explaining under his breath the absolutely mortifying situation you were in, while you tried to ignore the amused look you were sure was on Ten's face.

"Are you done sulking yet?" He asked, the light-heartedness in his tone somehow making things worse. He obviously didn't understand how humiliated you were feeling.

"... No." You pouted and turned over so that you didn't have to face him, drowning out the sounds of Yangyang's laughter.

"Zumindest kann er kein Deutsch," he offered.

"It doesn't matter if he can't speak German," you groaned. "Neither can I, really! Ahh zhen bu hao yi si!" You cry into your sweater. This is so embarrassing!

Wait a second... you don't own a sweater.

Reluctantly, you sat up and looked at the sweater, checking for a name of some sort. Written on the tag of the sweater, in cursive, was Ten's name.

Of-fucking-course. He probably just draped it over you while you were wallowing in your sorrow, and you didn't realise because you were too busy being embarrassed.

"You can keep it," Ten supplied helpfully. "I've got plenty anyway."

You didn’t know why, but you were glad it smelled like him.

#5: His arms.

It was late when you left school that evening. Your extracurriculars had dragged longer than they were supposed to, and the sun was already setting by the time you climbed into your car.

It wasn't the first time that you were leaving school late in the evening, but you still felt like there was someone watching you, or following you. Afraid to draw attention to yourself, you quickly started the engine and drove off towards your house.

You were maybe fifteen minutes away from home when you realised that a car behind you had been following you for the past fifteen minutes. Instead of going home by the usual route, you turned left instead. (You were probably going to get lost due to your terrible sense of direction, but it was fine.)

The car followed.

You took another left, hoping against hope that it would finally stop tailing you.

But it didn't.

Nervous and unsure what to do, you noticed with a start that the street you were on was oddly familiar. Where had you seen it before... Oh, that was right. Ten's street was on the left. You'd seen it on his Instagram and thought it was unfairly good for photo taking.

With one hand on the wheel and your fingers shaking, you dialed Ten's number and turned left.

"Hello?" His voice sounded warm and inviting, and you wished you could be next to him right at that moment.

"Are you home? Can- can you open the door, please?" You asked, voice trembling. Ten didn't reply for a moment, but you heard his footsteps over the call and breathed a sigh of relief. Surely he would say yes....

"What's going on, Y/n?" He asked, voice hardening. He sounded annoyed, angry, even. It was not an emotion you were used to attributing to Ten. He always seemed happy all the time, and if he were mad because you were calling him, you didn't know where else to go.

"I think someone's following me. And I'm on your street. If the lights in your house are on, I'll be able to spot you," you forced yourself to say.

"Okay." Without asking any more questions, you saw the side gate of a house open. You abruptly came to a halt, trying to ignore the screeching of brakes as the car behind you struggled to come to a stop as well. You threw open the door and shut it behind you, fingers shaking as you tried to lock it and ran into Ten's house, stumbling into his arms as he hurriedly locked the door behind you.

"Didn't know where else to go," you mumbled, your legs turning into jelly as you shook nervously in his arms.

#6: His art.

It took a while before you felt alright again. It came slowly, as Ten handed you a mug of hot chocolate and sat you down on the couch. Every one of his moves was slow, cautious, careful not to jar you and gently bring you back to your senses. You hugged the sweater tighter around yourself, curling up and wiggling your toes, glad he did not mention that the sweater you were wearing was his.

Neither of you spoke, and instead you let your gaze linger over the vastness of the inside of Ten's house. You'd never been in it before, but even though it didn't feel sprawlingly big, it felt open and spacious, with plenty of space for creation, and more importantly, creativity.

Art was everywhere into the house, imbued in the very spirit of it. The mug in your hand was glazed, and you could feel the untouched base of the mug had something etched into it. If you flipped it over, you would have seen Ten's Thai name engraved there, a mark of his own work.

The wall was covered in wallpaper, but the wallpaper was blank, and acted as a giant canvas. On some edges, there were doodles in bold black marker, something he must have done mindlessly when he was bored. On the other sides, there were impulsive brush strokes drawn in large arcs, some dry and opaque, some more translucent, and some that were just delightfully textured.

It drew you to it, making you feel at home even in the house with all its modern furniture. The rug beneath your feet felt like his work as well, with the cow pattern on it reminiscent of his unique art style.

"Are you alright?" Ten asked, breaking the silence.

You would have liked to stay quiet for a little longer, absorbing all the little pieces of Ten that had slowly been absorbed into the house, to learn everything that made him him. But perhaps it was the art itself and the way that it made you feel that caused the words to spill and heave out of you like a waterfall.

You couldn't tell if you hated or loved the way you felt vulnerable and willing to overshare in the atmosphere that he had created, but when Ten gently smiled at you to go on, you decided that things could most definitely be worse.

"This guy was following me, and I didn't know where to go, so I tried to shake him off and realised that I was near your house and then I got scared and tried to call you and you picked up and well. I didn't know where else to go." The words tumbled out of your mouth, and you couldn't stop yourself from rambling.

"Hey. Are you alright?" Ten inched closer towards you, setting his open palm facing upwards on his thigh, inviting you to hold his hand. As soon as you reached out towards him, he clasped your hand tightly and comfortingly and said nothing for a few moments.

When you spoke, his smile had dropped, and you knew he was trying to hide his shock at the man following you. It was creepy, yes, and you had been so afraid, but you had always kind of known that this was an experience you would go through at least once in your lifetime. However, for a man, this could well have been one of his worst nightmares.

"I think I'm okay now."

#7: His willingness to help.

"You know, I won't be there every time if you're getting chased. You've got to learn how to protect yourself. I can teach you martial arts, if you'd like."

The offer came from nowhere, so you were a little surprised, but also inclined to take him up on it. It really was going to be a problem, and even if it wasn't, it was always good to learn a new skill from someone who's proficient in it.

You nodded numbly.

"Want me to drive you home?" You shook your head, reaching into your pocket for your phone to let your parents know where you were. Knowing them, they were probably worried out of their minds because you hadn't reached home yet.

Sure enough, when your mother picked up the phone, she bombarded you with questions. They were all very well-meaning, like asking you where you were and why you weren't home, and are you okay? You told her that you were at Ten's house, a creepy guy was following you, and you had been deathly afraid but you were all good now.

"Can I stay over at Ten's place?"

Your mum sounded doubtful when she replied, asking about your clothes and your books and where you were going to sleep. She sounded inclined to say no, telling you that you shouldn't overstay your welcome. She made you thank Ten several times, insisting that you leave.

Thank goodness for Ten, who charmed your mother into listening to him and agreeing to let you stay overnight. He assured her that you could borrow his younger sister's clothes and that not to worry, she was overseas and wouldn't mind.

Your mother told you to thank him (again) tonight and the next morning when you left his place. You agreed, reminding her that you love her and she hung up.

"Your sister doesn't really live in this house, does she?"

Ten looked at you confusedly. "Where else would she live?"

"I don't know, it just seemed like I'd never seen her before." You shrugged, looking around at the house again. "And, well, it did seem like you lived here all alone, but I guess it's too big of a house for you to manage on your own."

"I assure you that I live with my family. My parents are upstairs right now, and my sister's on an exchange programme right now so she's not in town. The reason they haven't come here is probably because it's a big house and they're busy doing something together. The last activity they were doing was solving a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle."

Ten's family seemed so chill and easygoing, a stark contrast to what you were used to. Ten brought you up to his sister's room to borrow her pajamas, and you took the chance to take a quick shower, wiping yourself down with a towel you had borrowed.

Afterwards, the manners your parents had ingrained in you caused you to insist that Ten introduce you to his parents, and you apologised for intruding and disturbing their evening.

However, they were absolute sweethearts. His father offered to make some food for you, if you were hungry, and his mother asked if you were quite alright after the ordeal. You insisted that you were fine, but they wouldn't stop worrying until Ten assured them that you're fine.

It was really all very endearing, because your parents fussed in a different way from them, and had never been so open to simply having people over. In fact, you couldn’t remember the last sleepover you had.

Ten brought you up, but his parents wouldn't let you sleep in his room. He brought you to his sister's room, and you fell asleep fitfully.

Image

#8: His proficiency in martial arts

You really misinterpreted what Ten meant by "teaching you martial arts". You thought he meant a chill session and some quick tips on defending yourself, maybe a few corrections. After which, you'd feel badass and ready to tackle any horny, screwed-up in their minds men.

You were dead wrong, because Ten had not meant any of those things.

You were only five minutes in and already drenched in sweat, your clothes sticking to your skin and droplets beading at your hairline. You lifted your arm to wipe the sweat away with your sleeve, and your biceps screamed out in pain, begging for mercy.

It turns out that the reason Ten was so physically fit was because his training routine was rigorous. Not pretentious rigorous, and not the type of rigorous that bodybuilders used to lose fat, either. It was the type of rigorous that strengthened your muscles and pushed them just shy of their breaking point.

If you had to do this every other day, you'd probably be in the best physical shape of your life, which was Ten's current situation.

Ten was determined to make you stronger, because according to him, you "can't defend yourself if you're weak." It was a really polite way of saying that you weren't strong enough to protect yourself, which was a humbling thought.

He told you that you were only going to be doing a warmup, since you were just starting and you had school the next day. ("I want you to be able to walk tomorrow" were his exact words. It was... encouraging to hear that. Not.)

10 minutes in, you were cursing Ten's proficiency in martial arts. And your own stupidity, for agreeing to it. Why had you thought you would be able to keep up with him? He was Ten, your archnemesis, your one and only competitor who could beat you if he tried just a little. Obviously, you never learned from your mistakes.

Ten decided that you should try to punch people first. But not the way that you wanted to.

Instead of cool punches and socking people in the jaw (you're sure Ten got to do that in training, but you weren't Ten), he made you hit your elbows upwards against his padded gloves until the muscles in your arms, shoulders and back that you didn't even realise existed throbbed.

Then, he simply moved on to the next exercise. You never got to throw him over your shoulder like a sack of rice, but you did get to practise almost breaking his arm. A hundred or so times, until you weren't even trying to hit him anymore. He would yell at you to try harder ("Where's your energy?") and then, when you gave him a tired look, lower his volume and say, "Let's try that again."

Again, he was not being unkind, but his focus and seriousness made him a very strict teacher indeed.

The most fun part was when he decided to teach you how to kick a man in the groin. (Not knee them. Because that would take away the advantage of distance, of course. Of course you knew that.)

He lifted his arms up, carefully moving himself out of the "line of fire" and positioning himself diagonally in front of you. Channeling all your rage, tiredness and desire to go home, you kicked your leg out as hard as you could-

And fell right on your butt.

Your butt hurt, but your ego hurt more. Especially when Ten failed to contain his laughter, gasping for air and even choking. Was he trying to be dramatic or was he always like that? It was a far cry from the stifled, polite laughter in class when you laughed at his jokes, but it was endearing all the same.

You couldn't fault him for finding it funny. You were, after all, on your butt on the ground and it was possibly due to your hubris. Maybe being overconfident while trying a new skill wasn't a good idea, especially when you were trying it out with your expert classmate (who maybe wasn’t really your rival anymore).

Ten knelt down, arms wrapping around you from behind as he pulled you to your feet, his warm embrace making you want to fall asleep in his arms.

#9: His back.

Wait... what?

Okay, this definitely wasn't a good idea. Thinking about falling asleep in Ten's arms, in Ten's house, after spending a night over? Yeah, this was a recipe for trouble.

Ten seemed oblivious to how you were feeling, since all he did was continue teaching you a new skill.

“So what if he tries to grab you from behind? Well obviously, if it’s someone you know, you might hug him back. But if it’s a creepy guy? You’ll want to be able to attack him regardless of how he’s holding you.”

To demonstrate, Ten tightly grabbed you from behind. You would have liked to protest, but he grabbed you so suddenly that you lost your balance, falling forwards. Reacting quickly, Ten rolled over and you landed on top of him, hyperaware of his arms and his body heat and the feel of his breath on you.

Your faces were so close to each other that if you moved too quickly, you might just kiss him. Which, honestly, didn’t sound like a bad idea at this point. Your locked arms were the only thing keeping your lips from his. And they were trembling from your exhaustion and the desire to give in to the tired pleas of your muscles.

Ten tried to lift your arm off of him, trying to stand up—which was a terrible mistake. Your elbow immediately gave way, and you crashed onto him, your chest falling onto his. Your heart was racing, and with the proximity, you couldn’t tell if the thumping sound was coming from your heart, or his.

Just before you thought things couldn’t get any worse, Ten angled his face up and whispered in your ear, “Can I kiss you?”

You nodded dumbly and he gently kissed you, so quickly you couldn’t tell for sure if it was intentional. It was the slightest brush of his lips on yours, the brief contact making you yearn for more.

Before you could advance on him any further, he stood up abruptly, one hand carelessly pulling you up.

#10: His pretty face.

Ten’s face was flushed red and you were sure yours was too. He looked away quickly, composed himself, and turned back to you. “Shall we continue?”

Except you didn’t hear him, because you were too busy pressing your fingers to your lips in shock and staring into his eyes.

He waved his hand in front of your face and you jerked back to reality. “Yeah- Actually, no. Let’s discuss this.” You gestured meaninglessly, realised how dumb you looked, and dropped your hand lamely.

Ten looked at you expectantly, clearly waiting for a greater revelation than that.

“Like, me sleeping in your sister’s clothes and you buying me coffee? And—goodness forbid—you flirting with me? And now this? Ten, I thought we weren’t even on speaking terms!”

It was only until the last sentence that Ten’s confusion dissipated, and you realised with a start that the pressure he put on you was very much one sided. To him, it was a friendly rivalry. To you, it was a threat to your pride.

“Y/n, we were always on speaking-”

“Actually, you know what? It’s fine. I’m just confused, but I’ll be fine. Please, continue.”

Ten’s hand reached out and grabbed your chin, tilting your head and forcing you to look at him. “You’re so dense! Is kissing you not obvious enough? Y/n, I like you!”

“I- I don’t understand,” you fumbled, desperately grasping for straws.

“I like you,” he deadpanned. “I don’t know how much more obvious I can make it. Is this not straightforward enough? What more do you want me to do?”

“Kiss me again,” was out of your lips before you could stop yourself, and Ten’s lips were on yours before you could process what you had just said.

“I blame it on that pretty face of yours,” you said as soon as he pulled away.

“Oh yeah?” He tipped his face upwards and laughed, the sound of his laughter as light as a feather. You couldn’t help but to stare at him, the curve of his chin and the tilt of his jaw, his scoff and the way he rolled his eyes at the same time. His cheeks were dusted pink and his eyes fixed themselves on you again.

He flexed his hand, adjusting the wrap around his wrist and you felt the sudden urge to give him a hug.

“I love you, Ten Lee,” you whispered in his ear, and although you couldn’t see it, he smiled, just a little.

glossary:

*这是因为李永钦吗？ (is this because of ten lee?)

**嗯! 我怎么没感觉到自己无意中喜欢上了他呢？ (yes! how could i have unconsciously fallen for him?)

***我很有魅力啊。(i have a lot of charm)

****真不好意思！(how embarrassing!)

#k-labels #ten #kpop fics #xiaojun #wayv #jaehyun #nct #🪁 — my works #fic: ten things i love about lee

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