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ellethespaceunicorn · 1 year ago

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Daddy Knows Best, Part IV

Title: Daddy Knows Best, Part IV

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Pairing: StepDad!August Walker x StepDaughter!Reader

Fandom: Mission: Impossible - Fallout

Word Count: 3.3K

Summary: August Walker and your father were once friends. One mission, a single decision, made them enemies. August decides he needs to get his revenge. And what better way, than to become your new Daddy?

Chapter Summary: Daddy and Babydoll deal with the police, and attempt to move on after the tragedy.

Warnings: pet names (Daddy, Babydoll, babygirl), age gap (the reader is 18, August is in his late-30s), loss of a parent (mother), police interrogation, Dom/sub vibes, unprotected p-in-v sex, creampie, dead dove: do not eat

A/N: This is different from my usual fics. This would be considered dark!fic in every way possible. If you read the warnings and still choose to read, you are making your own decision. No one is forcing you to read this. This is an entirely self-indulgent therapeutic fic. Enjoy! Unbeta’d, we die like people who tried their best.

Dividers by: @saradika

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art by me

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

You wake in your bedroom, the early afternoon sun shining through the curtains. You roll over on your side and expect to see Daddy but he’s not in the room. Deciding to take a shower and start the day, you rise and undress.

As you wash yourself, you are suddenly hit with an overwhelming feeling of emptiness and loss. For a few moments, you were free. And then you remembered.

Mommy’s dead.

You saw her lifeless body floating in the swimming pool. That vision will probably never leave your brain. The last memory of your mother is of seeing her face down. The crystal-clear water of the pool marred with the sight of her.

Even though you had a rough relationship with her, you still mourn the loss of your mother. With your dad out of the picture, you only had one parent in your life. And now she has been taken away from you.

The water in the shower had gone a bit cold so you rinse yourself off and grab your towel to dry yourself. You dress in a black crop top with a sleeveless black plaid A-line dress on top of it. Pulling on some black thigh-high stockings and a pair of black platform Mary Janes, you embody the look of the mournful daughter.

You look over yourself in the mirror and try smiling at yourself. Instead, a few fat tears roll down your cheeks and you let them fall before giving up on trying to fake happiness. Wiping your face, you settle for going to find Daddy.

Once you leave your bedroom, you walk downstairs and are surprised to see that Daddy isn’t alone. Both men stand when you reach the bottom of the stairs, but the woman stays seated with a small smile on her face. Daddy holds out an arm for you to come join them.

“Come on over, don't be shy. This is Detective Marshall. He came to talk about what happened to your mother,” He nods at my words, “And this is Rachel, she’s a psychologist who works with Detective Marshall.”

I watch as Babydoll walks over and stands next to me, she greets our guests and then sits leaving space between us on the couch. That’s my good girl, don’t give them the chance to question our relationship. I sit down and gesture for Marshall to continue.

“I think I’d like to continue with you in private, if that’s alright Mr. Walker. Perhaps Rachel may speak with your stepdaughter?” Marshall suggests and I agree to his terms.

“Why don’t you take Rachel up to your room so you two can have a little chat?” I insist, patting Babydoll’s knee softly.

Once she nods, she and Rachel make their way upstairs and I hear the door to her bedroom shut. I look back to Marshall and he is scribbling in his little green notebook. His eyes are harder when our gazes meet.

“Just a few more questions and I will be out of your hair, Mr. Walker.”

“Please, call me August. Whatever I can do to help.” I lean forward with my elbows on my knees and my hands clasped together.

“I appreciate that, August. Uh, so you say that your stepdaughter was the first to see your girlfriend’s body. Where were you at this time?”

“I was bringing in my luggage from my car. I made it to the kitchen and noticed the open patio door. When I walked toward it, I heard her scream and caught her as she passed out. I saw her mother in the pool and realized that she wasn’t moving. After putting my stepdaughter in her bedroom, I called the police.” I kept my face neutral, but my eyes welled up a bit and I blinked away tears.

“So, you and your stepdaughter weren’t home when your girlfriend was killed. You two had been on a trip?”

“Yes. I had been on a trip for work, but my stepdaughter didn’t want to be here alone with her mother, so I brought her with me. Their relationship has been a bit strained since the divorce about a year ago. She misses her father and I, no matter how hard I try, am barely a substitute for him.” That’s it, play the role of a loving stepfather.

"You mentioned you work for the CIA, Special Activities. Is it safe for you to take your stepdaughter along on business trips in your line of work?”

“She was never in any danger. No one knew our location or that she was with me. The safe house we stayed in was discreet and out of the way. The only time she was left alone was this morning, and it was just for a couple of hours. I’m sure you understand I can’t divulge the details of my assignment. But you are more than welcome to check in with my superior, Erika Sloane.” I fish her card out of my wallet and hand it to Marshall.

“Thank you, August. As soon as Rachel is ready, we’ll be out of your way.”

No sooner do those words leave his mouth, than Rachel is coming down the stairs with Babydoll in tow. I notice the smiles on their faces and wonder what they got up to while they spoke. As they come back into the living room, Rachel stands next to Marshall and Babydoll stands near me.

“I think that’s everything. We’ll be in touch, August. Thank you for your time.” Marshall reaches out to shake my hand and he smiles at Babydoll.

For a split second, my face betrays me as I slightly scowl at him smiling at her. But in the same breath, I steady myself and look at Rachel before shaking her hand.

“If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call.” Rachel tilts her head at Babydoll and touches her shoulder.

I walk the detective and his partner out and once the door is closed, I turn and make my way back to the couch. My perfect little one sits with her leg under her, her big doe eyes settling on me.

“So, sweet girl, what did you and Rachel talk about?”

You took Rachel into your room and closed the door behind her. She looked around and smiled at the various photos and knickknacks you had scattered about the room. She sat on the edge of your bed and patted the space next to her. You sat down and she began to ask questions right away.

“So, you and your stepdad seem close. What was your relationship like with your mother?”

“My mom and I were never all that close. I was a lot closer with my Nanny, while she was here. Um, I guess I’m more of a Daddy’s girl. Mom was never satisfied with me, I don’t think. She always wanted me to be better. At sports, at school, at everything. She wasn’t my biggest fan. And then after the divorce, I felt even more distant from her. Dad was gone and I was left with her. Then August started dating Mom and it was weird in the beginning, but he ended up being a nice guy. And he listened to me, and he would stand up for me when Mom was on my case. I didn’t hate my mom. I just wished she liked me.” You looked away from Rachel to wipe a single tear that threatened to fall from your eye.

“Seems like August was your knight in shining armor.”

“Um, yeah. He cares about me. He cared about my mom too. He doesn’t treat me like a kid like Mom did. I don’t mean to make my mom seem all that bad. She was doing the best she could, I know that. She didn’t deserve what happened to her. I hope whoever did this to her rots in a jail cell forever. Sorry, I’m just angry and upset. My emotions have been a bit off the rails.”

“It’s perfectly normal to feel sad or livid or even bitter about death. With your relationship with your mother, I am not surprised your emotions are unsure of what to do. Sometimes, we might even feel like a weight is lifted off our shoulders when a certain person in our life is gone. Nothing of what you’re feeling is wrong.” Rachel tilted her head at you and smiled.

“Thanks.” You returned the smile and went back to fiddling with the hem of your dress.

"Do you feel safe here with August? I only ask as a precaution. Having you in a place where you feel safe is most important.” She put a hand over yours and you froze. What did she mean by that?

“I feel more than safe with him. He’s never given me a reason not to trust him.” You suddenly felt defensive over August and you tried to keep yourself calm.

“Good. I’m glad you have him to help you through this trying time. But if you ever need to talk, or even if you just need someone to listen, you can call me.” She pulled a business card out of her pocket and handed it to you.

“I don’t know if I’ll have anything to talk about but thank you.”

“Maybe something that you can’t talk to August about. Something that maybe only another woman would understand?”

“Oh. Ok. Um, I will let you know if anything comes up.” You stood and put the card on your desk and Rachel stood as well.

“Good. Any time, day or night. I’ll be available at that number. Use it whenever you need me. I think that’s all I need. Why don’t we go and rejoin the others?” Rachel went to your bedroom door and let you walk out first.

You’re not quite sure about how to feel about your interaction, but at least you felt like you defended August well and even made a new friend. She seemed nice enough anyway.

After she tells me everything that she and Rachel talk about, I feel a bit more at ease. Less like the detective thinks I murdered her mother, but more like his partner thinks something is going on between me and Babydoll.

Which there is, but she doesn’t need to know that.

Even if she did know, it isn’t illegal. She’s 18, a consenting adult, and she’s well taken care of. Not that I need to explain myself to anyone.

“Babydoll, you know you can talk to me about anything, right? Anything at all. Daddy is here to listen and to keep you safe.”

“I know, Daddy. There is something...but, I don’t know.” She ducks her head and looks to the floor.

I put a finger under her chin, lifting it so she can look at me. “Anything, Babydoll. You ask and I’ll make sure it gets done right away.”

“Daddy, I...don’t want to live here anymore. All I can see around me is bad memories with Mom. Or old memories with...my father. And neither of them is in my life anymore. Does it make me a bad person that all I wanna do is move on? I feel weird even being in the living room, so close to where Mom died.” She plays with her fingers and looks down again.

“Let me make a few calls, Babydoll. I’ll see if we can be out of the house by week’s end, alright?”

“Thank you, Daddy. This means a lot.” She stands and wraps her arms around my neck in a tight embrace. I hug her back and lift her off the ground a bit and she giggles. The tuneful sound tickles my ears, and I am happy to be the cause of it.

I kiss her cheek and send her up to her room to deflate. In the next few hours, I have a house lined up for us on the nicer side of town. Three bedrooms, three baths, finished basement, big backyard with an in-ground pool. A perfect place to start a new life.

By the end of the week, we are finishing up moving all our stuff over to the new house. Other than a small crying fit that Babydoll has while she and I go through her parents’ belongings and decide what to keep and what to donate, the move was mostly hassle-free.

One morning after a run to clear my head, I was surprised to have a visit from Detective Marshall, and this time he only wanted to talk to me. I let him in and ask Babydoll to give us some privacy. We talk for a short while about moving from the old house and how Babydoll is doing. I ask him to cut to the chase and he nods and tells me Babydoll’s father’s body has been found.

He was discovered in a hotel room with substances in his system, along with a suicide note that included his confession to killing his ex-wife. At that bombshell, I’m visibly unnerved. Marshall reaches out a hand to my shoulder and apologizes for having to deliver this information.

He makes a sort-of backhanded comment that my former partner must not have liked that I took his place in his family. I responded by saying it wasn’t appropriate to make assumptions about dead men. Besides, as his ex-wife told me many times, they were rocky well before I stepped in. Marshall also stated that since Babydoll’s father had confessed to the murder this case was now officially closed, and we could go ahead with a burial ceremony.

I thanked him for relaying the news and escorted him to the front door. Before he left, he made sure I knew he would be keeping an eye on us. Seems the detective doesn’t trust me. I couldn’t care less, honestly. Let him try and pin this all on me.

I mean, he could pin it all on me if he wanted to do so. It's not like he would be wrong in doing so.

But I covered all my tracks and sealed them airtight. And with my record, they’d be ridiculous to come after me now that they have a confession and another dead body on their hands.

I wait until the detective drives off in his large black Ford F-Series, leave my sneakers at the door, and then make my way up to find Babydoll. I find her sprawled across the bed in the Master bedroom, sketching something in her notebook. Technically, this is my bedroom and hers is down the hall, but she sleeps with me most nights.

“What are you up to, Babydoll?” I ask, coming around the bed to sit next to her and peer into her notebook.

She shuts it before I can get a good look inside, “It’s a surprise, Daddy. You can’t see it yet.”

“Oh, I'm not allowed to see it yet, huh? Well, I guess Babydoll isn’t allowed to cum tonight then. How about that?”

Fuck, I loved to tease her. She always made the cutest little pouty faces.

“Daddy! No! Please may I cum tonight? I’ll do anything. Just, I was making you something special and I don’t wanna show you ‘til it’s finished. I don’t wanna ruin the surprise. Please?” There goes that little pouty lip of hers, it could make me agree to anything.

“Ok, fine, Babydoll. But you’re gonna cum when Daddy says to.”

“I can be a good girl for you, Daddy. I promise.”

“There’s my good girl,” I lay back against the pillows after I shuck my muscle tank, joggers, and socks, “Show me that sweet little pussy while Daddy gets his dick ready for you.” I take out my length and start to stroke it while she pulls her panties down, laying on her back so she can show me how she plays with herself.

Within minutes, her cunt is making those glorious squelching sounds I love so much while she fingers herself for me. I am beyond hard at this point and I am salivating just to get inside her.

“Come up here and lay back Babydoll. Let Daddy have his turn now.”

She removes her fingers from her wet snatch and slides next to me. I take off my boxers and my cock springs up and bounces against my abdomen. Leaning over her, I position my dick at her entrance and slowly slide in thanks to the wetness she has accumulated.

“Fuck, Babydoll, you are so tight. You feel so perfect around me.” I don’t stop until my balls are against her ass and our hips are flush together. I’ve molded this pussy to fit my shaft perfectly. Pulling out, I slam back in and am rewarded with her angelic little whimpers.

I don’t necessarily need to last long; I just need to make sure I get her to her peak before I reach mine. I find a steady rhythm thrusting in and out of her tight heat that has her keening in my ear. Her arms are around my neck and her legs are wrapped around my waist.

I can feel her core tightening around me, and I know she is close. Reaching a hand between us, I use my thumb to flick against her clit to push her over the edge. Her moans tell me everything I need to know.

“Cum for me, Babydoll. Soak my fucking dick, sweet baby.” Not even a second later, I feel the tell-tale signs of her orgasm as her folds flutter around me and the dam breaks loose. She screams out and I can’t help myself.

I fuck into her until I feel my balls draw up and then I slam into her heat one last time. I swear I was going to pull out and I almost did, but the warmth and the tight fit and my exhaustion from the run got the better of me. I came deep inside her as my cockhead sat against her cervix. I didn’t give a fuck about anything except the notion of her cunt holding me so perfectly as I blew my load.

The only sounds in the room were of us catching our breath.

Once I could move again, I lean up on my knees and pull back from where I collapsed on top of her. Holding her legs open, I let my length slip out. Soon, my massive load starts to rush out and I push all of it back inside her as she lazily smiles up at me. I smile at her then pull her into the bathroom with me to shower.

She’s barely able to stand in the shower and I mostly hold her steady. We both get clean enough and I help her dry off then dry myself off and we make it back to the bedroom and lay back down in bed. I tell myself it is best to talk to her now about all this instead of waiting and possibly upsetting her.

“Alright, Babydoll. Daddy just creampied you, I didn’t pull out this time. I came inside you. Now, in the morning, Daddy is gonna run and get you a plan B pill so that you don’t get pregnant. But I think it might be time that we get you on birth control so that Daddy doesn't have to worry about this kind of thing in the future.” I speak slowly and clearly so she knows that I have her best interest at heart.

“Ok, Daddy. Can we take a nap now? I’m exhausted.” She is already rolling over on her side and throwing an arm across my chest.

“Yeah, Babydoll, let’s take a nap.” I wrap my arm around her shoulder and kiss the top of her head.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking of her tummy round and swollen with my kid and her tits heavy with milk. But I know that’s just emotion talking. As much as I want to get her pregnant, right now it is far too soon after everything with her parents.

Right?

Part V (coming soon)

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long to get out, loves. Anywho, hope you enjoyed this. I still have more in me, I think.

**Tag List**

@winterschildren8 @raccoon-eyed-rebel @viking-raider @devotedlythoughtfulanchor @livisss @randomweirdoss @brattymum96 @ambinxe @avengersfan25 @kebabgirl67 @astheskycries @enchantedbytomandhenry @rebelangel1102 @mrs-solo-walker [Let me know if you wanna be added (or removed) 😁]

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ryuichirou · 6 months ago

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Replies

Thank you for all your asks… I’ll reply to everyone at some point. Happy Saturday!

Talking about Fellow Honest, Rookvil and Sebek’s grandpa… the first asks are kind of spicy lol

Anonymous asked:

i just realized most of the boys in the playful land event u hc as tops so pls consider: NRC boys x fellow gangbang

(reverse gangbang for gidel and the two bottoms idk)

Anon, this is so hilarious; when we first realised that this was an almost top-only party, I wept. Rollo was lucky… Poor Fellow! And he almost got every single HORRIBLE one, too! Was lucky enough not to get Rook though; he wouldn’t leave his fluffy tail alone lol

Also bold of you to assume that NRC boys x Fellow gangbang wasn’t our minds CONSTANTLY while we were watching the event 😭 Those nasty brats…! It’s painfully easy to imagine them going “let’s mess this bastard up~”.

I haven’t drawn the gangbang itself, only some sketches implying it, but… I really should 😭 Let’s hope.

Haven’t thought about Gidel with Vil and Leona though! Surprisingly… he would scratch a certain itch for both of them I think lol

Anonymous asked:

Games are over, it's time to get serious! Tell me, which one of the boys ended up hooking up with Fellow during the playful land event? I know that the funniest and best answer is definitely "all of them", but I wonder if you have anyone in mind... Also, poor Fellow, there were so many tops in this event! He suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder and turns around to see Riddle form the Stitch event, who just shakes his head and goes "It never gets any easier...". On another note, does this mean we're going to get the fox's slut-istics eventually?

ANON OUT THERE ASKING REAL QUESTIONS, AND shooting me in the head instantly because I really wanted to say “all of them”!! 😭 But let’s consider that the great NRC gangbang didn’t happen, let’s humour the idea, let’s think about it…

I think the ones that are the most likely to hook up with Fellow are Lilia (he knows a nasty bitch that lacks training when he sees one), the Tweels (they are determined to enjoy themselves today, so Fellow should play with them!), Ortho (he’ll make Fellow uncomfortable with how un-innocent he is), Ace (he got super ballsy by the end there, tbh my money is on him) and Kalim fucking Al-Asim. Although the last one sends mixed messages as always because he is at the same time very openly flirty and very weirdly platonic lol Still, he seemed to really, really liked Fellow, so anything could happen.

God I love the word “slut-tistics”… If you mean the sluttiness chart that I did some time ago, then yes, Fellow absolutely deserves one! Let’s see… I think, it’d be something like this:

Promiscuity: 4; Flirtiness: 4; Sex-drive: 2; Kinkiness: 3.

Total: 13

He isn’t super loyal to anyone, but he also isn’t 100% promiscuous; to Fellow, having sex with someone and being loyal are two different things. He is loyal to someone he loves dearly, but this is its separate thing <3 Sex is survival, to be honest, he doesn’t do it for pleasure all that often. Still, because he had to go through the hands of so many deeply perverted people, his body developed some kinks that he didn’t even know he could have…

Flirting is an instrument of manipulation for him, but I feel like he also enjoys it genuinely.

Sooo if he is 13, that would put him just below the total slut tier wow impressive lol

(Also YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT RIDDLE IN THAT EVENT I DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, oh buddy, oh poor little thing…)

Anonymous asked:

Hi! I love your blog sm and your art is amazing aaaa i loved that savannahclaw Rook you did, so handsome!! That description on the picture made me wonder, how would you say Rook and Vil would have first gotten together ? Did Rook ask Vil out or was Vil the one who dropped hints on wanting to get together? Do you think they went on dates or just straight up jumped into the bushes? LMAO ive always been curious on headcanons on how you would imagine them first dating before they became the silly couple we all know and love

Thank you so much, Anon!! <3 I am very happy you liked it!

I love talking about these two and especially the earlier stages of their relationship lol I talked about it in this post + wrote some hcs about their first time too.

I feel like they were getting closer and closer very quickly as they continued talking to each other every day, and then at some point the tension just got too strong. Maybe there would be sense for them to talk about their feelings, but it was the kind of situation when it was obvious even without words. So none of them really asked the other one out, but at some point they just started “dating”…

Maybe this isn’t how Vil imagined his first proper relationship to start, but it’s not like he wasn’t just as passionate as Rook was lol

Their little chats were their “dates” technically. But I think they had their first “proper date”(=going somewhere) after they started making out and having sex.

Anonymous asked:

Just out of curiosity, would you ever consider having head cannons or maybe even doing artwork of Sebek's grandfather, Baul...?

Like, in your eyes, is he a bottom or top? Do you ship him with anybody? Or does he just not interest you that much? Cause that's okay too! I'm just really curious, I really like Baul lol. 💚

We absolutely would whenever we actually get to read ch7 and know him better! I have no doubt that we are going to like him a lot, so at least one portrait sketch is a must. His design is cool, and I love his armour. He is one handsome croc :”3

We don’t ship him with anyone yet because we haven’t seen anything of him, but based on things we already know, it feels like he is going to join the top squad. But until we actually see him and learn how he interacts with others and what dynamics he has with people around him, we can’t say for certain.

Even if we end up not shipping him with anyone, I’ll write some solo hcs about him if someone wants to read them! By the time we actually get to know him, of course. It’ll take a while lol sorry about it.

#replies #fellow honest #headcanons #rookvil

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misguidedasgardian · 9 months ago

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The Lifeaters (I.4)

IV. Pumpkins, mischief, and trolls

MASTERLIST

Chapter Summary: You were testing barriers

Pairings: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Cursing, magical objects, Mugglephobia, injuries in Quidditch

Wordcount: 2.6 k

Notes: Here we go again muahaha This ofc isn’t getting enough traction and I get it… I really hope that it does later on because I'm really excited :(

You were in the astronomy tower with Blaise, Draco and Matthew, you had brought, as promised, your telescope and were trying to explain the homework to Matt, that was only mocking the boys and not paying attention, it was sort of frustrating

When he spoke to you, Draco quickly answered for you, or simply stood between the both of you, you didn’t understand why, but finally he managed to see the constellation he picked and wrote down some things in a parchment, and then it became late and you had to come back to the commonroom so you wouldn’t be caught after hours out of bed.

Blaise and Matthew walked in front of you, and you managed to grab Draco and pull him back, as soon as you were walking by his side you asked him, point blank

“Are you ashamed of me?”, you asked bluntly, he looked at you frowning, like that was the most stupid thing you had ever say

“Why would you think that?”, he snapped

“You never introduced me to your other friends”, you said quickly

“I did! you know Crabbe and Goyle”, he said easily

“But not Nott and Zabini”, you corrected, “Or Matthew”

“He is different”, he said, quickly, “I didn’t know it was so important”

“I feel like I’m an outsider”, you said

“YOU ARE NOT!”, he snapped

“Is it because we don’t know who my father was?”, you asked shyly

“We know he was one of the sacred 28 that is enough for me!”, he said back, yes actually that is the only thing you knew about him, him and the fact you didn't have any direct family like grandparents or uncle and aunts

“But still…”, you murmured

He had this guilty look on his face, after he told you you couldn’t borrow his racing broom he had at the manor, when he didn’t want to share but he felt guilty because it was you

“You are my best friend”, he said, as he was actually not only apologizing but giving an explanation.

You decided to drop it, as you got to the common room and separated to go to your own rooms.

“Good night”, you said shyly

“Good night”, said Draco and Blaise as they walked towards their room, and Matthew just stood there and watched you go inside your room.

The very next day, you had defense against the dark arts, which you, by reading your book, thought it was going to be the most interesting class, but alas, you had Professor Quirrel

He wasn’t a bad teacher, but the way he spoke nervously, and stuttered a lot, made you nervous and it was hard to follow his instructions, and he always spoke sentences as questions, so you didn’t know if he was making a statement

But you did well in his class

And just like that, weeks went by and now you were enjoying the Hallowe'en feast, you loved Halloween, you loved to carve the pumpkins, and the candy, and you felt like it was the only day of the year in which wizards and witches could mingle in the muggleborn without being treated as weird

The muggles were the weird ones, you thought

Anyways, tomorrow, the classes were suspended because of the holiday, and you were going to go to the pumpkin patch outside of Hargrid’s house to grab pumpkins to carve and bewitch. It was one of the few activities that were available for first and second years since you weren’t allowed to go to Hogsmeade, the little town near the castle grounds

Draco did not want to go, under any circumstances to go near “Harry Potter’s best friend Hagrid”, but you did, so he was forced to accompany you and Millicent, who also showed interest

“I dare you to eat one of those”, mocked Mathhew to Draco, pointing at a bowl of magical gummy eyes, they were enchanted to look and move like real eyes, but they were made of gummy, but they give you the creeps because of how… wet… they looked

“No way!”, laugh Draco, “I’ll give you my next treat box if you eat one”, you giggled as you grabbed a huge black and orange lolly as a dessert

“TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!”, a scream interrupted everyone as professor Quirrel entered the great hall running desperately, “TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!”, he screamed again as he was running to the huge table where the teachers were, “I thought you should now!”, he said wobbly, and collapsed to the floor

You exchanged concerned looks with Draco and you both screamed at the top of your lungs in desperation alongside all of the students

A troll! They were huge, smelly and dangerous!

“SILENCE!”, Screamed Professor Dumbledore, “Everyone will please, not panic. Now, Prefects will lead their houses back to the dormitories. Teachers will follow me to the dungeons”, he concreted, and your own Prefect did his best, though you all pushed each other to exit the hall, considering that your common room was actually near the dungeons

But you didn’t encounter any trolls on your way there, and then you were safe inside it.

The very next day, the only thing everyone was talking about, is how Potter single handedly defeated the mountain troll that sneaked into the school, Draco was frowning all day in the pumpkin patch until you brought the pumpkins back to the common room.

It was a fun afternoon, MIlicent and you had carved the pumpkins, and Umbra was perched on your chair, eating the seeds you had leftover, it was quite funny actually.

You carved a toothy grin on your pumpkin, with sharp eyes, it looked a bit diabolical, MIlicent opted for a more complacent face for hers.

“You have the spell?”, you asked, just when Draco came back accompanied by Blaise, Theo, Matthew, Greg, Vince, Pansy and Daphne

“What are you both doing?”, asked Theo, making you both blush, it was no secret that he was the cutest boy in your class

“Head full of seeds, a funny bloke, make this pumpkin talk and joke!”, she chanted pointing at her pumpkin with her wand, and in a second the pumpkin started moving its face

“Welll…. hello!”, he said with a sharp voice, you gasped, surprised, taking out your wand, when the pumpkin started to speak rapidly, looking all around

“Wicked!”, muttered Crabb, and everyone grabbed a pumpkin and started carving

“Head full of seeds, a funny bloke, make this pumpkin talk and joke!”, you repeated religiously, and surely enough, the face of your pumpkin started moving, showing you an even wider, more devilish smirk

“Hello little lady”

“Would you tell me a joke?”, you asked

“No… but I know some good ol’ limericks that might interest you”, you were concerned to say the least, “There was a professor at Hogwarts, who had a complete set of Rose Quartz, he cleaned them and used them, but then he stored his…”

“NO!”, you interrupted him, afraid he would say something naughty

Your friends made their own Pumpkins, and they they brought them to life

Let’s just say that didn’t end well, you learn like 20 naughty words, and the noise got so loud, Professor Snape quashed all your pumpkins because they started singing dirty songs and jokes who made all the people in the painting to go away embarrassed and upset

That was very funny, you had never laughed so much in your life, to see Snape’s face

You giggled when you remembered it

The other thing you did while you had free time, is to search for the trophies in the common room, specially the ones of Quidditch, your house won a lot! you had to train A LOT this summer so next year you were going to be able to make it to the team, as it was yours and Draco’s dream.

Only one year the Slytherin team had won every year, and you manage to steal a picture of the yearbook 1978 of the library of it, and you managed to actually ask the prefect to see that year’s playbook, and studied the plays, which he found odd, but didn’t say anything

Speaking of Quidditch….

Today was your first Quidditch game! not as players but as spectators, much to Draco’s dismay and pouts

Your first Quidditch Game!

But you were excited nonetheless, you were going to play against Gryffindor, the best game of the year!, and you couldn’t wait, maybe Potter would fall of his broom

So you put on your favorite piece of clothing of the uniform, the thick wooden gray and emerald green scarf, you fixed your hair in a way that it wouldn’t bother your eyes, because it might be windy up there in the boxes, and you ran out of the girl’s rooms to meet Draco in the Common Room

Soon you were cheering up in the boxes when the Slytherin team show up first, obviously, and they started flying around the field

You and Draco and the rest of your year were all in attendance in the same box and cheered loudly for the team, they looked so cool! you loved the dark green and the capes flying behind them, you couldn’t wait to join the team next year!

A boy Lee Jordan, from Gryffindor, was narrating the match, and you thought it was like watching a game between England and Bulgaria narrated by a Bulgarian, so… Madam Hooch, your teacher from the flying lessons, was refereeing, as she stood in the middle of the field.

She had her broom in her hand, and the players of both teams got together around her ina circle, the seeked even higher from the ground.

Soon she grabbed the Quaffle, and threw it into the air, starting the game.

A girl from the Gryffindor teams snatched it pretty quickly, she was fast and you really admired that.

You found Quidditch really breathtaking, professional players were so quick and smooth, and this was proven to be no different, your first Hogwarts Quidditch match! wow.

"And the Quaffle is taken immediately by Angelina Johnson of Gryffindor -- what an excellent Chaser that girl is, and rather attractive, too --"

"JORDAN!"

"Sorry, Professor., giggled the narrator, "And she's really belting along up there, a neat pass to Alicia Spinnet, a good find of Oliver Wood's, last year only a reserve -- back to Johnson and -- no, the Slytherins have taken the Quaffle, Slytherin Captain Marcus Flint gains the Quaffle and off he goes -- Flint flying like an eagle up there -- he's going to sc- no, stopped by an excellent move by Gryffindor Keeper Wood and the Gryffindors take the Quaffle -- that's Chaser Katie Bell of Gryffindor there, nice dive around Flint, off up the field and -- OUCH -- that must have hurt, hit in the back of the head by a Bludger -- Quaffle taken by the Slytherins -- that's Adrian Pucey speeding off toward the goal posts, but he's blocked by a second Bludger -- sent his way by Fred or George Weasley, can't tell which -- nice play by the Gryffindor Beater, anyway, and Johnson back in possession of the Quaffle, a clear field ahead and off she goes -- she's really flying -- dodges a speeding Bludger -- the goal posts are ahead 149 -- come on, now, Angelina -- Keeper Bletchley dives -- misses -- GRYFFINDORS SCORE!"

How could he breathe? you wondered

The Gryffindors cheered loudly, luckily they were on the other side of the field, they were so annoying.

You saw both seekers, Potter and Higgs, flying above them all, watching carefully their surroundings for the sneakiest of the balls, the golden snitch

you looked back to the field and to your joy, your captain Marcus Flint took hold of the Quaffle, as he evaded a Bludger throw at him by one of the Weasley Twins

The father of the Weasleys had been to your house in the name of the ministry, searching for strange artifacts; your grandfather had to come all the way from France to recover dear artifacts that were family treasures. He was so upset it required weeks to convince him to let you stay in England.

But anyways, back to the game in question….

"Slytherin in possession," Lee Jordan was saying, "Chaser Pucey ducks two Bludgers, two Weasleys, and Chaser Bell, and speeds toward the -- wait a moment -- was that the Snitch?"

The game seemed to stop as Pucey dropped the quaffle as he looked over his shoulders at the golden dop flying furiously and randomly.

Slytherin’s seeker darted towards it, faster that you had ever seen, and Potter too.

He had a Nimbus, and that gave him clear advantage.

A professor had given him that broom, was that even fair? You shook your head trying o wipe those thoughts out of your mind, and then… Flint scored for Slytherin

The entire box and the one next to it exploded in cheers and chants

Flint was waiting for a pass from Pucey, intercepting Harry and he got himself an infraction for interfering, you growled in frustration

The bludgers started to take more stage, flying more furiously as Gryffindor took possession again and the game became quicker and even more violent, of course the Slytherin were on edge because of the skills of Harry, which surprised everyone as it was his very first game

And then, loud gasps and shouts took everyone’s attention to Potter. When you managed to spot him, he was flying frantically, it seemed like he had lost control of his broom! you wanted to laugh, his broom was failing him! but then you gasped when he almost fell from it, barely hanging on with one of his hands, he was too high in the air! he could really harm himself if he falls

“What's happening to Potter?”, asked Zabini

“Too much broom for such a little Git”, mocked Draco and everyone laughed

He started zigzagging in the air and everyone saw it, screaming and gasping, the Gryffindors asking for a timeout

But when Madame Hooch did anything to prevent it, the game kept going, Slytherin had taken possession again and

You were winning! with 90 points and Gryffindor by 30, it was so exciting! you were wondering if they could manage to make more points that the snitch was worth, as you saw Terence HIggs and he was flying randomly, clearly he didn’t have the snitch on sight

You turned back to look at Potter and he seemed to have regain balance and control of his broom

You couldn’t believe that barely weeks ago he didn’t even know what Quidditch was and now he was playing for Seeker in Gryffindor

The snitch apparently showed itself to Potter, as he and even Terence spotted and started chasing it quickly

They both were pretty high in the air and darted downwards towards the ground quickly, HIggs stopped but Potter kept going, his arm in the air ready to catch it.

He fell to the ground, and he looked like he was going to be sick and then, to everyone’s surprise, he coughed up the snitch.

"I've got the Snitch!" he shouted, waving it above his head

Nobody really knew what was going on

"He didn't catch it, he nearly swallowed it", your captain fought hard for the “win” to be dismissed, but the win was proclaimed and there was no turning back

Draco, instead of sad because we lost, he had that face that told you he was cooking up a plan

“The team is there, we need a better seeker”, and he was going to be that seeker next year

You smiled back at him

We still had two more games to watch, against Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff

You still had chances to win the Quidditch cup

#misguidedlifeaters #harry potter #harry potter fanfic #hp fanfic #harry potter fandom #draco malfoy #slytherin #house slytherin #slytherin!reader

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kosmicdream · 6 months ago

Text

Ode to Togashi

Stream of conscientious incoherent rant about manga/hxh below, read at your own discretion as i AM NOT EDITING IT:

While I’m still in the mood to talk about art and what i love about manga, i feel like i wanted to share (some) of my thoughts on why HXH continues to be one of my favorite stories. Togashi’s writing method continues to be probably like, the closest one that i aspire to replicate in my own work, partly because i love to see how much it builds and learns from itself, reinvents itself, ect. But i DONT think Hxh is perfect, even if i wouldn’t change anything about it or togashi’s writing style.

When I first got into HXH, it was actually through the old anime. I watched that all the way thru before reading the manga, and when i was watching the anime it was during a period of time when i hated all shonen. I still kinda hate “the shonen” model, despite loving many shonen series, but something abt HXH pulled me in to give it a try and i was quickly hooked. I of course, already had experience with YYH growing up as a teen but i somehow missed HXH completely until my early 20s. I had already started trying comics by then, but it was EGGSHELLS and i had not started FFAK at that point.

HXH almost lost me at greed island my first round, ngl. I appreciate it now, andi still think the set up for Greed island was amazing but the arc itself.. I was not into it, mostly cause i think the villain for it was kinda lackluster and i didn’t really think the world of greed island had a strong design sense. There was interesting aspects, i enjoyed Bisque as a new character and she helped carry a LOT of the weight of that arc for me, but it was kind of a drag. IDK if it was also partly the adaptation for that arc, but i didn’t enjoy it much more in manga form either. It just went a bit faster. However, the end of that arc and the final fight was surprisingly brutal and enjoyable, which made me optimistic and helped me to continue. And then the chimera ant arc was the first arc i read ONLY manga first and i truly fell in love with it, obsessed even. That arc, as many readers already know, is probably like the closest thing to FFAK’s “Parent” for inspiration. Obviously, FFAK draws from a lot of things (Trigun is probably the 2nd strongest influence on FFAK) but it isn’t quite the same as HXH. As MUCH as i adore hunter x hunter part of me does cringe and laugh that like, in the end, a battle shonen manga still excited me that much but like.. As MUCH as i clearly love battle manga.. I am so over them. You know? Who cares. IMO. No matter how great it looks, i probably am never going to be more impressed (visually) with an action scene than the ones Yukito Kishiro drew. He did it, He won the action manga game to me. I have no idea what’s actually happening in Gunnm most of the time but as far as the visual spectacle of it all, it literally doesn't even make sense how good his action scenes look. (I could talk a lot about Gunnm too, but i’ll save that for another time IG) Like how the fuck does someone draw that good and it just made everything else by comparison just like, not.. Matter too much to me anymore. Which is great, because I can then look at other aspects for a work rather than just being drawn in by the visuals. And stuff.

Where i’m at now.. I dont want to read another, even if its drawn well and .. the powers are SO powering or whatever. And i love to draw action scenes, they’re really hard and i still have so much more to go to learn about them. At best, I think im okay at them. But even when i work, i just get tired now so i cut them down a lot. Thats partly because i jsut dont have the time to draw fighting scenes. So i kind of feel embarrassed by a lot of them that ive made, i know I was lazy. Lazy in a way I’m not proud of the result, but im proud of the compromises to get the shit done. Which is the most important think in the end, to juggle your own expectations and limitations with the timeframe you have to get somewhere you need to go. I will still read more action/battle manga in the future.. But im in no rush. And im certain, for the most part, they arent going to teach me anything I don’t already know. They might entertain me and i might be like “..huh!” at a few things, but my expectation for them to do more than that is pretty low. I’m delighted when im wrong, but i cannot deny the apathy towards them is super deep. Togashi to me, is one those authors, that makes me really wake up and realize there’s still a lot of unexpected territory out there.

He writes like an enthusiastic newbie, not a seasoned old timer that he is, who basically helped popularize the “tournament arc” and “dark edgy shonen” stuff with YYH. All his characters in HXH are geniuses, which is kind of a valid critique and can be annoying as hell too… Id say most readers dont really get how the hell nen works, yet somehow the story still functions so well in its character motivations/conflicts that it kinda doesn’t matter too much that.. It doesnt really make sense? We have to relearn what nen is basically every arc. Its not gonna stick. And yet im just so excited every time it updates and i really want to know what he wants to do with his new arc, if he is going to be able to do it. Nen to me is like a fake fantasy science that is tangible and real yet also you’re in a dream and you try to read the letters on a page, and you can read it but if you stare hard at it. The words are just blurs, or it doesn’t really connect. I like that there’s this malleable illusion that it functions in a way, that is concrete, but it isn’t really. But its enough that i can believe that for the characters, who are also not real, it is real for them.

The fact that i can talk about “”””NeN””” like this to me is essentially why it becomes the perfect shonen to me because it takes itself so seriously, so genuinely, yet it also is nonsense but not in the way where its like.. Irony poisoned, “gotcha” twists? Im sick of all these subverting shonens that arent subverting anything. Or even just the attitude that is what makes a good shonen these days is to subvert, diminish, laugh, ect at shonen while completely stepping inside the same footprints again and again. So much manga just wants to be dragon ball, but dragon ball was good cuz it was just a fun, well drawn action manga that wasn’t trying to BE dragonball. It was just dragon ball. (maybe now its trying to be dragon ball, which is why i dont care about whatever sequel attempt we’re at now, but that’s another story.) Its fun to me that i dont know if Gon is gonna come back in Hxh. like, maybe he will and his powers will be restored ect.. But at the time of writing this, and for YEARS we just.. Have the main pals of the manga separated. Their friendship has changed. There’s a great shift in it. Gon met his dad, who sucks, but that kind of was his main quest. Sure, we have kurapika’s arc, and many other routes to go - but in a weird way HXH is done and it isn’t done at the same time. I’m just like, what are we going to do now. TOGASHI said flat earth real and was like, the other half of it is UNEXPLORED AND SO DARN DANGEROUS and theres SOM BIGGGGG DINOSAURS THERE and it just feels so gleefully like.. You’re on the swingset and some kid just keeps having to up the stakes but in the most kid-like way possible. For serious. But Togashi’s 58. But he’s right too, the dark continent IS so cool.. I just imagine leorio going there and getting so sick and shitting mutant diahrea and dying the SECOND he sets foot there and its awesome. That’s NOT what’s going to happen but im delighted at the opportunity.

This is the point where I’m writing something when i take a pause and wonder how the hell i got here. I have skimmed the above written text. Whatever point i think i was going to make, wasn’t made, but i expressed.. good feelings here. This is how i write. I typed all of that in about 15 minutes with no idea where it was gonna go. Part of the process now would be to go back, organize, edit, ect. To *TRY* to make it a little more comprehensible, as with all writing. Believe it or not i have gotten better at editing my own work. But the true nature of it all is still the same. And its the same in the way that i dont want, no matter how much i improve at my craft, i dont want to lose that enthusiasm i feel when i reach 58. I think that would be such a triumph, id be so lucky to be able to muster that energy. When I think of togashi, i think he has that. He has that real artistic spark that no amount of time/experience has ever diminished and that’s why i think he’s truly my personal favorite mangaka. (maybe tezuka too)

#felt like sharing more of my journals #ive really cut down on these but you know what .. fuck it #togashi time #hunter x hunter #togashi #hope anyone enjoys this if you manage to read it #its kinda all over the place lmao

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sillyyywrites · 4 months ago

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STARES AT YOU.

Hiiii Bonez !!!!!!!!

Wanna write somethin’ sweet for me?

like uh uh uh just uh just DCA (any) being oh so very nice to meeeee (or y/n). WANT UH WANT ENCOURAGEMENT FROM DCA (like im doing soso good at life and making good decisions.)

/nf of course!!!! (And I will write or draw something in return if you want tee hee. LIKE AN ART TRADE BUT ITS WRITING AND/OR ART :00000)

You don’t need to draw/write anything slime!!!!

Oouuugh what if i was evil (positive) and made it a massive timeskip in my au cause i dont wanna build up friendships in writing (i will do exactly this)

Gender neutral pronouns and no use of y/n and please read this as platonic!!

Divider credits: https://www.tumblr.com/cafekitsune/727305515676418048/pattern-banners-galaxy

You walk into the daycare, a little tired, but you’re functioning. You walk down the stairs, not really noticing the power outage or taking any mind to it, you’re just zoned out. You open the massive doors that look like a castles doors and walk inside. You hear little ‘clicks’ and ‘clacks’ from a few directions.

“You can’t scare me anymore, moon. Im to used to this.” You say as you don’t really wanna deal with a jumpscare so early in the morning. You hear little ‘clicks’ closer, and closer. “Are you okay?” They ask as it descends and unhooks themselves. “You know you’re doing great, okay? You got a few animatronics who care, and you.. somehow.. got me on that train.” He isn’t letting you not think that today.

“Hmmm.. let’s look at your tasks together, okay?” He says, not gonna let you do these tasks alone anymore. “It’s fine, moon, I can do this.” You say to him, you’re used to the tasks of cleaning up, checking generators, the other repetitive tasks you do everyday. “I am not asking you if you want help, you’re getting help.” Well, they’re still a little intimidating.

“Fine, not like I have a choice anyway.” You respond to it. A little while later you’ve finished checking the last generator to make sure it’s functioning and won’t randomly burst into flames. “They’re all fine.” You say, hearing a little ‘clicks’ as you turn to look at moon, who is visibly happy, a little hard to tell if it’s genuine with that unmoving permanent smile on his face, but they seem happy. “Where’s the cleaning supplies?” You ask moon as you crawl out the colorful Play-place.

“Already done, we didn’t feel like waiting for you.” He responds to your question. “Wowww, i mean, thank you, but wowwwww.” You jokingly act like you’re upset. “You did good, Starlight.” He tells you. “Thank yOU- WHAT ARE YOU DOIN-“ You raise your voice as he forcefully yoinks you out the Play-place and carrying you like a burrito (if that makes sense?) and carries you to a little nest of pillows and blankets, and drops you on it. Before you could even process anything you’re burrito wrapped and trapped in coziness!

“What are you doing.” You ask moon, slightly annoyed he didn’t warn or ask you before he picked you up. “Your work is as good as done, you deserve a reward for doing your best, and I’m proud of you, Little star.” He tells you as he curls around you a little bit as he continues, “Plus, I miss wrapping the kids up and hugging them to sleep, it’s a win-win for both of us.” It’s a little funny, having a animatronic that’s been called terrifying and snarky.. just being sweet with you and telling you that you’re doing good.

“You’re doing good, don’t stress about something you’re doing perfectly on, you’re loved.” He’s clinging to you and telling you positive things, that’s one way to just allow yourself to relax. And not long later you’re both asleep, as the lights flick on.

im normal about them why do you ask :3c (i am not normal about them)

I enjoyed writing this! Fastest ive written ever (1 hour)

Hope you like this slime🔥🔥🔥

#SillyyyWrites #SillyyyAsks #moondrop #fnaf moon #moon fnaf #moon dca #writing #FNaF Y/N #dca Y/N

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aroace-poly-show · 1 year ago

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also a thing for you if you ever want to ramble about hw- what's emu's story for this? how did she get into illustration, and how did she meet the troupe?

RAUGH I ALWAYS WANT TO RAMBLE AND IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS TY FOR ASKING!!!! also took a while this time my bad man. the route my bus takes has very very shit internet so i couldn’t continue my draft during my ride 💔

anywayyy. good lord this is fucking long. im sorry.

for emu, i’m still figuring stuff out with her, but i’ve been thinking about her a lot more recently, and so far what i’ve got is that she has a little bundle of issues including grief over her grandpa, toxic positivity and not letting herself feel negative emotions properly, some internalized hatred of herself and how childish she is following an argument w shosuke, and generally feeling kinda lost, like the rest of hw, after wonder stage closed bc she doesn’t know what to do w/o shows. yknow.

so like. she still has her whole thing w/ her grandpa. and she while she wasn’t doing the *best* she wasn’t doing that bad in the mental health department. still wasn’t letting herself like. grieve properly. but she wasn’t the worst. she performed a lot on wonder stage and knew that the stage was in danger of being closed down, so she tried really hard to keep it from happening. but the actors for wonder stage began to leave as time went on and the ones who stayed didn’t really get why she was so persistent in keeping this stage open when the others in the park were better and shit. and she didn’t have much help. so unfortunately despite her best efforts wonder stage was kinda doomed for closure. butttt she’s not giving up yet. so she tries to convince her brothers to not close it, or at least to just give her some more time. which Does Not Go Well. shosuke gets real frustrated with her and starts yelling and shit. and while keisuke shuts him down once he gets too heated. well. it’s kinda too late. with what he said about her being childish and demanding that she just grow up already and stuff like that, my girl takes that to heart. and then with the official closure of wonder stage…yeah…she’s not doing the best…

emu’s grief here is made worse w/ the wonder stage closure. cause like. that was her and her grandpa’s favorite stage. girl feels like she failed him. she loved that stage. she loved doing shows there. it was something she had to remind her of her grandpa. and now it’s closed. :(

since then she’s been. different. like it’s just barely noticeable to a lot of people but she’s definitely changed. she smiles and acts cheery and seems like her usual self but like. her smile isn’t quite the same. she’s not quite as talkative. she avoids her brothers a lot more. and her brothers have noticed btw and they both feel AWFUL. especially shosuke. they done fucked up and they know it.

also like technically she could keep doing shows, after all theres the other stages in pheonix wonderland, and she has experience in doing shows + is related to the people who literally own the place so it wouldn’t be hard for her to join one of those stages. but she doesn’t bc after all that, she thinks her goal of just wanting to bring smiles to people is childish. shows make her so so happy but she thinks it’s immature and naive of her to still want to pursue that, especially considering she failed last time. it’s a silly and childish path to pursue, and she needs to pull her head out of the clouds and grow up already, like her brother says. so despite loving shows with all her heart, she gives up on doing them. but since shows are so important to her, she doesn’t rlly know what to do without them, so that’s where that feeling lost stuff comes in. yknow.

for her art, i just think she enjoyed art in general, and with her grief and the wonder stage closure it helped her cope. i have a very specific idea in my head of her style. but i cant remember the artist here on tumblr that i think she does art like. if i can remember their name i will though. i might actually do a post dedicated to what i think her art style is like….

not set in stone just yet, but what i’m thinking for the original meet up is that she meets nene first. nene does music and emu finds it, and it gives her some inspiration for some art. she posts it and credits nene’s music as what inspired her, and nene is so fucking honored. through some light encouragement from rui nene gets the courage to dm emu to tell her thank you, and they start chatting!! they get along pretty well and emu starts making art for nene’s music. eventually rui has the idea to start animating them, so they can make music videos for the songs, and boom hw gets its beginnings online.

this happens before wonder stage closure btw. when it does close, emu disappears from their group chat for a bit. she comes back like nothing happens and while she doesn’t tell them what happened, they both notice she doesn’t talk about what shows shes doing anymore, or shows in general. nene and rui are both very sad at this btw. seeing emu have so much love for shows and be able to talk about them like she did was really nice, so to see her stop with that and seemingly not enjoying shows anymore after something happened, just like they did, it sucks. :(

anyway i think my timeline is like. during nene’s last year of middle school when she transfers to home schooling, she starts doing music -> everything i just mentioned here happens -> eventually they meet tsukasa, and he joins the group -> hollow ☆ wonderland does its thing as a group for a while -> main story shit happens. yeah. 👍

uhhhh. dear god i’m so bad at explaining my thoughst. augh. i hope this made some amount of sense. and that i wasn’t too repetitive lsajdkhfgyfdhsj. anyway miscellaneous emu thingies now.

like i mentioned, wonder stage hasn’t been replaced yet, it’s just closed down and sectioned off. so emu still visits it all the time. there is nothing being done to maintain it. so it is absolutely unsafe. but does emu care. no. girlie wants to disappear and while she’s not *planning* on dying, if she had to die anywhere she wouldn’t mind if it was at wonder stage. she draws there a lot.

a lot of her drawings are traditional!! with lots of bright colors and crayons and colored pencils. she has lots of fun drawing.

this applies to non-au emu as well but she has gifted stickers to all her friends. nene’s synthesizer is covered in them.

wonder stage was closed off at sunset. btw. just to give her another reason to hate sunsets.

#asks #hollow ☆ wonderland #i dont have as many miscellaneous things for her unfortunately. i am thinking stuff up though #jesus fucking christ this is long #oh my god #im unwell about them all if you couldn’t tell. dear lord.

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vacantgodling · 2 months ago

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for Ship Classifications: i'd love to see just. 4 random ships and what category they fit into and why

LMAO thank you for asking—i’ll do this for just my ocs but if you want fandom ships as well just lemme know 💀

MAKES SENSE / COMPELS ME

i think the most “traditional” (in terms of tropes) variation of this type of oc ship that i have that checks all the boxes for fandom madness would probably be di/toph in lukewarm rejection ngl. (1) monsterfucking (toph is a demon) (2) bickering to lovers (3) chemistry the second they meet (4) punk x reformed goody two shoes (5) religious guilt and childhood trauma makes you seek the bad boy type. (6) hot. i do kinda miss the more dramatic layers that their old wip had but it was good for my brain to let go of it finally. maybe the ashes of that wip can be something else. anyway, here, art of the sillies be upon ye.

MAKES SENSE / DOESNT COMPEL ME

calvin im/jake deluna from purple haze. as much as like. they have literally everything that constitutes one of my favorite ship dynamics (best friends to lovers) the two of them are just completely strictly platonic in my mind. i toyed with the idea of them being a thing but every time ive tried to think about it, even in a crack sense, its just made me go 🤢 LMAOOOO and i think its the two of them also protesting LMAO. they’re just more like brothers more than i can see them being romantic so even tho usually i can turn best friends into lovers, not these two. they’re just the best bros ever :DD woe, art of the sillies be upon ye.

DOESN’T MAKE SENSE / COMPELS ME

this is a bit hard to answer bc i tend to make a lot of things i like canon However after looking through my oc list i realize that i actually have many many ships that dont become a “thing” BUT i still enjoy them. that doesn’t mean they dont make sense tho, which is what im hung up on. i think a ship that’d fit this category would be kirsi/lord flykrost in alizath. and like hear me out: it makes Absolutely no sense. (1) he’s like 20+ years older than her (but that’s hot— *is spritzed with water*) (2) he’s married (3) kirsi already has two perfectly good handsome men she’s gonna end up with (amarette and juven respectively) (4) they literally canonically are going to have more of a father/daughter or mentor/mentee type relationship BUT THIS DOES NOT STOP MY BRAIN APPARENTLY. lord flykrost is hot to me. i can’t explain what he looks like bc i haven’t solidified that yet but just know he’s hot. more than just physically tbh his entire vibe is giving nanami from jjk so ig that’s why he’s hot to me (and if you don’t know said character dw about it bc i literally don’t go there i only care about him; tldr men who cut the bullshit and take responsibility and look after those younger than them or less privileged or capable than them are hot ? also Big. Big man. tiddies. thank you for coming to my ted talk). so idk the idea of him being all strong romantic lead and taking care of kirsi is very woof woof awooga to me LMAO. but like i said this just isn’t gonna happen it just lives rent free in my head 💀💀💀💀

DOESN’T MAKE SENSE / DOESN’T COMPEL ME

genuinely if (and probably when) i see people ship madja and jihi in tcol i will actually kill people LOL. like no spoilers ig but like while cnc can be fine in some instances this is very much a nc situation so like. you do you ig but like i actually can’t stand madja GJRJRJRJRJ

#about renjamin #sorry this took me so long to answer btw #also art is old 🤷🏽‍♂️

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edna-skiffens · 4 years ago

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The Best Medicine

Summary: You are in the hospital, but you can never sleep in hospitals. Good thing you have a very attractive night shift nurse who is willing to help out.

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: hospitals, light med talk, bad medical writing, fluff

A/N: Please ignore the plot holes or the fact that this isn’t the most realistic and also I know this isn’t how discharge works at the hospital.. It’s called fiction for a reason, darling. Also, I left the reason the reader is in the hospital open ended bc some of us may have medical conditions/reasons that we can attach to this, but if not I tried to keep it vague enough on purpose so that you can imagine whatever. Also if you like Nurse!Tom and have requests for him lmk bc i’m happy to write for him.

Toss and turn. Toss and turn. The routine was getting old. This was your third night in the hospital and sleep just wasn’t coming to you.

Maybe it was the medicine they had you on. Maybe it was the constant symphony of sounds and people passing in the hallway. Maybe it was because you weren’t at home in your own bed.

Maybe it was just because you were in the hospital.

You couldn’t be sure. What you were sure of is that you weren’t falling asleep anytime soon.

Feeling another presence in the room, you looked from the ceiling to the doorway where you saw Tom, one of the night shift nurses, standing cautiously.

“I didn’t wake you did I?” He asked as he eased his way inside.

“Nope.”

“So no sleep again, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Sorry darling. Let’s go ahead and get these vitals over with.” He took your blood pressure, oxygen levels, temperature and wrote it down in your chart. Putting the clipboard back on its hook at the end of the bed, he looked up at your tired face. “Okay. So now about that sleep. What do you think will help?”

“Not being in the hospital.”

He chuckled lightly while walking back towards your bedside.

“I know. You hate it here. You’ve made that very clear and I try not to take too much offense to it.” You let out a slight laugh and held back the fact that he was the best part of this whole experience. He almost made it worth it. “I’m sorry we can’t give you any sleeping medication. Do you think it’ll help if I talk to you?”

“You mean tell me bedtime stories?” You couldn’t help but tease him at the adorable suggestion, though it sent a swarm of butterflies off in your stomach.

“I was thinking more like bore you ‘till you fell asleep. But whatever works.”

“You’re the nurse. If you think it’ll help.” You both sat there smirking at each other for a moment. Something unspoken floating in the air between you two.

“Well, I need to finish my round of vitals first. I’ll come check on you when I’m done and if you’re still up we’ll see about those stories.”

“I’ll be here.”

About fifteen or twenty minutes later you heard a light tap on your door followed by “Still awake?”

“Always.”

“You up for a chat?” Tom asked as he made his way to the stool then rolled slightly closer to your bed.

“Got nothing better to do.” You teased again.

“Okay. Well you should probably lay down.”

“Oh. It’s going to be that kind of story, huh?” His laugh was so beautiful and you were happy you were the cause of it.

“No.” He corrected in between laughs “The goal is to get you to sleep. So sitting up won’t help.”

“Right. Right.”

“Well.. anything in particular you’d like to talk about?”

“Why did you choose to become a nurse?”

“Ahhh. Good question. So I actually went to an art school.” You couldn’t help the brief expression of surprise that crossed your face. “I know. Shocking. I did training specifically in dance and gymnastics and I loved it.”

“Wait, so what happened?” You asked, turning on your side to face him more comfortably.

“Well one day we were rehearsing for a show and I fell. Ruined my knee. Had to do physical therapy for months. I tried to get back into it, but it just wasn’t the same. However, through that process I learned a lot about medicine and the health side of things. It really turned me on to it. And when my Plan A got a bit messed up I thought ‘hey, this could work’. So far it’s treated me pretty well.”

You smiled at Tom, admiring his passion for his career and the determination he had to keep pushing after his accident. You enjoyed hearing him talk about it too. If you didn’t know any better you would say it was helping you relax.

“My story that boring?”

“Obviously.”

“Your sarcasm has no end.”

“Oh… goodness.. you thought that was sarcasm?”

Tom only laughed and shook his head the way he often did with you.

You may just have been his patient and he may have just been your nurse, but you both bonded. He kept you company and gave you comfort. In return, you kept him entertained during the quiet night shifts.

“I’m not going to sleep. I'm just resting my eyes. But still listening.” You told him as you nestled further into the hospital bed, trying to find a position that would make it comfortable.

“Okay, darling.” He grinned at you.

“Tell me more. What kind of-” You had to stop to yawn, “What kind of art stuff did you do?”

“Oh. Well, I was in a few musicals. I really enjoyed dancing. I did ballet ever since I was young and I love the control I have over my body. The tricks I can do with gymnastics or the turns and leaps. I mean I can’t do them to that level anymore, but I try to stay active.” He glanced up and noticed you hadn’t moved, “Are you still with me?”

“Mhm.” You barely respond.

“Okay. Well it was a performing arts school so we really were trained in many areas. We had classes in acting, singing, dancing, all of it. It was a lot of fun and I met my best friends there.”

Tom began telling stories about his time at school. Before he knew it, he lost himself and track of time. He looked back at you, quiet and still.

“Y/N?” You were finally asleep. “Goodnight, darling.” He whispered as he gently made his exit.

Because Tom worked the night shift, you never saw him when you woke in the morning. Instead, Tanya, a sweet nurse that felt like a big sister, or Linda, Nurse Ratched in the flesh, came in for morning vitals and meds.

You counted down the days until your release. Life in the hospital was pretty uneventful with the limit on visitors and limited activity. There’s only so many sitcoms one can take in a given timespan. The only thing that you really looked forward to each night was when Tom clocked in.

“Hi Y/N.”

“Hi Tom.” You would smile at each other.

“How are we feeling today?”

“Better. Ready to get out of here.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you are feeling better and still ready to jailbreak.” He smiled while writing something down on your chart. “They should be bringing up your dinner tray soon and then I’ll bring by your evening meds after that.”

“Okay.”

“If you need me you know what to do.” He called to you before walking out the door.

You were disappointed when Shelley brought your evening meds by later. She was a nice enough nurse. She just wasn’t Tom.

You’d grown accustomed to mainly having him as your nurse during the evening shift. At first you weren’t sure if it was coincidence or on purpose, but after a few nights of staying up and talking, you grew closer to him. You saw less of the other nursing staff and more of Tom.

You tried not to build anything up in your head. You were sure everything he was doing was in his job description and a part of being a good nurse.

He would sneak you extra pudding cups from the cafeteria and bring you an extra heated blanket because you could never stay warm. If you needed a new IV, he held your hand to ease the anxiety. He kept you company and made you feel less alone in such a sterile and intimidating place. And when he noticed you had trouble sleeping he chose to sit with you to help you fall asleep. You couldn’t help the butterflies that built in your stomach.

It became a sort of routine. He checked on you during evening vitals, even if someone else was doing them, and you were always still awake. He would then come and sit with you and chat for a bit, telling you different stories until you eventually fell asleep.

Some nights when you were extra restless he would help you walk the halls.

“The doctors have to see you’re stable enough before you can be discharged. Plus, maybe it’ll tire you out.” He suggested.

He would help get your IV pole ready so you could walk with it. He helped you into your slippers and eased you out of bed after passing you your robe.

Walking the hall slowly, Tom knew he had to remain professional, yet he found a few excuses to graze his hand across your back to ‘steady you’ when you turned corners or he thought you were looking tired.

“It might take me a while to get back to my usual jogs in the park, huh?” You laughed in spite of yourself.

“You’ll get there. Baby steps.” He encouraged, as you turned around the Nurse’s Station. You missed the faces the other night shift nurses were giving you both, but Tom was sure to subtly flick them off. “So, do you like running?” He asked as you headed back towards your room.

Throughout your late nights together, he told you of his three younger brothers and his dog named Tessa. You spoke about what you would do when you were out of hospital. He talked about his friends and flatmates and the adventures they had. He told you many stories, but each morning when you woke up he was clocked out and the day shift nurses were there.

Tonight was your last night. You’re set to be discharged tomorrow and while you are ecstatic to go home, you’re going to miss one thing about this place.

“I bet you’re too excited to sleep tonight. I don’t know if my stories will even help.” Tom said as he sat down next to you.

You smiled up to him sweetly.

“What are you looking forward to the most once you get out of here?”

“Sleeping in my own bed.”

“Well that’s no surprise.” Tom laughed, a contagious sound making you giggle as well. “Isn’t there anything you’ll miss about this place?”

“Yeah.” He smiled “There’s one thing.”

“What’s that?” He asks.

“The pudding cups.”

“Ahh the pudding cups of course.” You giggled while fiddling with the IV line.

“They just don’t taste the same in the outside world.”

His smile grew wider as you giggled.

“No, but really. As much as I give this place grief and say I’m ready to get out of here - which I am,” You gave him a pointed look to which he held his hands up in mock surrender, fully believing you, “it hasn’t been too terribly awful I guess.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad we could make your stay not too terribly awful.. I guess.” He teased. “Do you have anything exciting to look forward to once you’re a free woman?”

“Nothing huge planned, really. The doctors did say to take it easy.”

“That’d be wise.”

“Yeah. I’ll just lay low for a while. My sister said she may try to come visit me though so that would be nice.”

“Oh that would be nice. She’s your older sister right?”

“Right. She moved away last year to be closer to her boyfriend.”

“Ah. Do you like him?”

“Sorry?”

“This boyfriend. Do you like him?”

“He’s alright, I suppose. He makes her happy.” Tom nodded along.

“And do you have a boyfriend that makes you happy?”

“N-No. No I don’t. Not at the moment.” You began fiddling with the IV cord again.

“No boyfriend or not a boyfriend that makes you happy?” He asked.

“Neither.”

“Well that’s a shame.” If the heart monitor was connected you would’ve been screwed. “I just mean someone needs to look after you once you get home. I hope this sister comes through for a visit. You’ve got to take it easy.”

“Oh I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will be.” He smiled.

“How has your shift been tonight? Busy?” You asked, fighting back a yawn.

“A bit busier than usual. There was a slight emergency earlier which is why Shelley handed out meds tonight. Sorry I didn’t come around.”

“It’s alright. I know you have other patients.”

“Yeah, but none like you.” You were sure he said that to all of his patients. After all, you’ve heard similar lines ever since you went to the pediatrician as a child. But it still gave you butterflies.

“Are you getting sleepy?”

“A little. But it’s okay.” He gave you a pointed look but continued to talk anyway. “It’s the last night. One final request for storytime. Make it a good one.”

You thought for a moment before asking your question.

“Do you ever wish that life turned out differently? That you never had your accident and you could’ve followed your dreams to be a dancer?” You asked while turning on your side and getting more comfortable.

“Sometimes. At least, I used to. But I think I’ve accepted it now. And I really can’t see myself doing anything but this.” You nodded taking in his answer “I look at it this way. If it wasn’t for my injury then I never would’ve changed my career path and found my love for medicine. I never would have made so many of the friends I’ve made or the memories I’ve made. I never would have met you.” He finishes with a sweet smile.

“That’s a very positive way of looking at it.” You told him. “Be honest, are you a therapist during the day?” He laughed out loud.

“No. I’m not. I guess I’m a big believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’.” You nodded while covering a yawn.

“So I’ve been curious to ask you,” He began, “Do you usually have this much trouble sleeping? Because you can get help for that you know?” You smiled at him.

“What? I thought a night nurse talking to you was the cure?” Tom smirked and shook his head. “I’m kidding. No, I normally don’t. It’s just the stiff sheets and hospital sounds I think.”

“Darn hospital.” He rolled his eyes and joked. “So this time tomorrow you’ll be sound asleep in your own bed then?”

You knew it was meant to be a happy statement, but you were a little sad at the thought of not having any more late night chats with Tom.

“Yes. Thank God.” You forced a smile.

You felt another yawn coming and tried to hold it back. It was already past the usual time that you fell asleep.

Tom could tell you were exhausted so he launched into a story from nursing school, hoping to lull you to sleep.

You yawned your way through listening, trying to soak up every last moment with Tom. In the morning he wouldn’t be here. You’d leave and likely never see him again.

When he finished, your eyes were half open and he wondered how you were still awake. Or maybe why.

“Why are you fighting it? The point is to sleep. Give in.” He told you gently after another yawn.

You looked up at him, half asleep and rubbing your eyes, not finding the confidence to tell him the true reason you were trying to stay awake.

“I’m happy right now.”

He smiled down at you.

“I am too. But you need your sleep, darling.” You weren’t sure what to say and you didn’t have much energy left in you anyway. “How about this. I’ve probably been in here too long as it is. Let me go check in at the Nurse’s Station and then I’ll come back and check on you soon and see if you’re still awake okay?”

The thought that he was leaving gave you a sad feeling in your stomach. You tried to remind yourself that he was just your nurse. Nothing more.

“Okay.” You smiled at him, sleepily, while settling further into the bed.

He stood up and instead of walking towards the door he walked closer to you. He grabbed the thin, white hospital blanket and pulled it closer around your shoulders.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispered before he walked to the door.

“Tom?” You called out just before he opened it. He turned around with an expectant look, “Thanks for everything.”

Even though the room was dim you could see his smile.

“You’re welcome, Y/N. Get some sleep.”

You don’t remember much after that. You don’t know if Tom came back to check on you. You just remember falling asleep with a smile on your face.

When you woke up the following morning it felt like any other morning in the hospital.

The hallways were much louder. Beeps, chatter, and phones were constant. The lights were brighter.

But you were quickly reminded that it wasn’t any other morning. You were going home today.

The door creaked open and Tanya, one of your regular daytime nurses, poked her head in.

“Oh good you’re up.” She made her way inside and over to the gloves. “How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good. Thanks.” She gave you a smile, something hidden behind it.

“I’m sure.” She said quietly to herself. You gave her a questioning look. “Oh I just mean I’m sure you’re excited to get out of here.”

You nodded as she took your vitals one last time.

“Everything looks good. What do you say about getting this IV out?”

“I say that sounds amazing.”

She took it out and bandaged up your arm while informing you of how the morning would go.

“Dr. McCoy is making rounds now then he’ll be by soon to go over your discharge. You can get dressed whenever you’re ready. If you need help, buzz me. You’ll still have a breakfast tray come, but you don’t have to eat it.” She gave you a wink while taking off her gloves.

“Thanks Tanya.”

“Of course, sweetie. And in case I don’t see you before you go, you’ve been a wonderful patient. Take care of yourself.” You smiled at her as she left you to change into some leggings and a sweatshirt.

You were packing your remaining things into your bag when your doctor walked in.

“Y/N! How are we doing today?”

“We’re doing great because we’re going home.” You smiled while taking a seat to rest for a few minutes.

“I know you’re excited.” He laughed before explaining the conditions of your discharge. You had medicines to take, a follow up appointment, and strict instructions to rest for the next few weeks. After signing some forms he left you with a stack of papers. “Is someone coming to pick you up?”

“Yeah my neighbor should be here within an hour.”

“Sounds good. Don’t hesitate to call us or come back in if you have any trouble or questions.”

“Will do. Thanks.”

A few minutes after he left a nurse brought in your breakfast tray. There wasn’t much of a point for it but since your discharge wasn’t technically until 10:30 am you were still a patient during breakfast.

You took the pudding cup that you requested with every meal off the tray before sliding it away. Smiling to yourself, you tucked it away in your bag. All you had left to do was wait for 10:30.

Tanya came in to check on you again and told you to buzz the Nurse’s Station when you knew your ride was here. At 10:27 you had a text from your neighbor that they were out front in the pickup zone. So you hit the call button.

“Yes?” Linda, the scariest dayshift nurse, answered.

“Um hi. Tanya told me to buzz in when my ride was here so I could go down.”

“Okay we’ll be right in.”

Not even a minute later you heard your door open. Expecting to see Tanya or maybe even Linda you looked up.

An audible gasp left your lips when Tom stood in your doorway with a wheelchair.

“I hear someone needs a ride?” He smiled as he made his way closer to the bed.

“Tom. What are you still doing here?”

“I pulled a double.” You wanted to ask why, but decided against it. You were still in a little bit of shock from seeing him again. “If you’d rather I can go get Linda to walk you down?” He pointed back towards your door.

“No! No.. I’m just surprised s’all.”

“Well come on. I thought you’d be running out of this place once the clock hit 10:30.” Glancing up you saw it was now 10:34. Your neighbor is probably tired of waiting already.

You grabbed your discharge papers and reached for your bag when you heard, “I got it.” Smiling at him, you sat down in the wheelchair. Tom placed the bag around his shoulder and kicked the brakes off the chair. “Ready?” You nodded up at him.

He rolled you out of the room that felt so small for a final time. You passed the Nurse’s Station and waved bye to the staff. He turned by the elevators and when you looked up at him in question, he read your mind. Looked down at you he said, “We’re taking the staff elevators.”

When you made it there he hit the button, turning you around and backing you in once the doors opened. He hit the button for the Lobby and leaned up against the wall of the elevator, briefly glancing at you, as you rode down together.

“Well you made it. You’re a free woman.” He smiled shyly.

“Yippee.” He met your eyes for a moment before looking back to the floor. The dynamics felt different. It wasn’t like your late night talks together.

“Listen, Y/N.” Tom began as he stood up from the wall and faced you. He was about to continue when the elevator ding cut him off, signaling you had reached your destination.

Maybe that was what was different. You had reached your destination.

You had a fun time talking with Tom and entertaining each other when you were both up late at night. He was fun to get to know and you enjoyed having someone care for you. He was easy to banter with and certainly easy on the eyes. But your time at the hospital was up. You knew it would be eventually. You wanted it to be.

Tom was a nurse. He was just doing his job. He was helping take care of you. He was being nice. He was trying to make your stay more comfortable. There was nothing to read into.

Your time being his patient was up and your time with him was up.

You tried to remain realistic, but the sadness still crept up as he rolled you closer to the door.

Once outside, you saw your neighbor exit the car and wave you over. Tom steered in the direction and slowed before rolling to a stop and hitting the brake locks on the wheels.

“Hi, I’m Taylor.”

“Tom.” They shook hands as Tom passed off your bag for Taylor to put in the backseat.

“I’m sorry for the circumstances, but it really has been a pleasure having you as a patient and getting to know you, Y/N.” Tom admitted as he walked around to face you. He grabbed the papers from your lap. “Take care of yourself, okay?” You had shared many smiles with Tom, but this one felt sadder.

“I will. Thank you for everything, Tom. I mean it.” You reached up and squeezed his hand. He gave you a light squeeze back while smiling down at you. Taylor returned from the backseat of the car and Tom turned to them.

“These are her important papers about follow up appointments, medications, what to do at home, all of that so please make sure she doesn’t lose any of them.” He emphasized the point.

“Got it. Thanks.” Taylor held onto the stack while Tom turned back to you.

“If I can’t handle a few papers on my own, then maybe I shouldn’t be going home yet, Tom.” You laughed.

“I know, I just wanted to make sure they made it home with you.” He walked closer. “You ready to get in?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. He helped you up, supporting you just as a precaution. Once seated, you took a moment to catch your breath as you pulled the seatbelt down. He met your hand, taking it from you to buckle you in.

“You good?”

You nodded with a smile, “Just a little tired. No biggie.”

He looked you over before returning your smile, though his didn’t quite reach his eyes, “If you need us, call us. Otherwise go home and rest.”

This was it. This was goodbye.

“Thanks, Tom.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

He shut the door. He walked back to the wheelchair, released the brake locks and headed inside. He looked back only when your car was driving away.

“Here’s those papers that are so important.” Taylor handed you the stack after they got in.

“Thanks.”

“So how are you feeling?”

“Better. Thanks.” You felt them looking at you as they joined traffic.

“You sure? You sound like you feel awful.”

You try to remind yourself to forget the sweet and attractive nurse and start moving forward.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m okay.” You decide to distract yourself by reading through your discharge paperwork, when something caught your eye. On top was a sticky note with the hospital’s letterhead. You were sure it wasn’t there before. Looking closer it read,

Y/N,

In case you need someone to talk to when you can’t sleep.

555-5555

P. S. I have a connection to some pretty good pudding cups too.

Tom

The smile that grew on your face was undeniable. All the feelings you suppressed came flooding in. He wasn’t just being nice. He actually liked you.

One thing you knew for sure was that even though you would be in your own bed tonight, you still would be up, talking to a very special nurse.

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friendlyneighborhoodcapricorn · 2 years ago

Text

Powers

I wrote a Timkon drabble (read: 3k words lmao) based on some amazing art by @clambuoyance (hi, I hope you enjoy this!), which you can find here. Go check it out (and go check out her art in general bc it's really really good) :)

Afterwards, he doesn’t remember much of what happened. Tim, perched on the windowsill and only visible because he’s silhouetted by the light of a full moon, tells him that’s for the best. Conner doesn’t want to think about what means.

Not that he’s awake for long enough to think about anything. He falls asleep to the feather-light touch of Tim’s lips brushing his cheek.

Clark is sleeping in a chair beside the bed. A hospital bed. His bed. Whatever. Things are still fuzzy, and Conner’s head hurts too much to try and think beyond “why is Clark sleeping in a chair next to my bed”.

He thinks Clark was already there when Tim visited him that one night, but then he’s not sure if Tim was ever there at all. It might have just been a dream.

It probably was, considering how hazy the memory feels.

He goes back to sleep and hopes he’ll see Tim again.

He wakes up hot and in pain. Someone is stroking his hair, murmuring softly, soothingly. Someone else is talking, loud enough that it makes Conner’s head feel like it’s about to explode. He only knows he made a sound because he can feel it in the dry, nauseating ache in his throat.

The voice that’s trying to soothe him picks up pace, and now it sounds like they’re talking to the other person present. It sounds like they’re scolding someone. Conner is pretty sure it’s Lois doing the scolding. He’s been on the receiving end of it enough to know it by heart.

Dimly, he wonders who she’s talking to. Clark, maybe? He thinks he remembers Clark sleeping by the bed, so he might still be there.

Conner tries tuning in to the conversation, and sure enough he hears presumably Lois say, “Keep it down, Clark. You’re hurting him.”

A bigger hand lands on his shoulder, a thumb rubbing gentle circles into the joint. A heavy sigh. Then, “I’m sorry.”

Sleep drags him under before anyone can ask Clark what he’s sorry for.

Lois is passed out in a chair when he wakes up. Actually wakes up, not just being briefly lucid. She looks tired, so he lets her sleep as he surveys his surroundings. The room itself isn’t familiar, but the atmosphere of the place is. Conner thinks it might be Mount Justice, but there are no windows in the infirmary in Mount Justice.

He’s in bed, wearing a cotton tee and a pair of sweatpants that definitely aren’t his. There’s a thin tube in his hand. An IV, his mind supplies. I’ve seen it on Tim before.

That’s a little odd. He shudders to think of things that could injure him so badly he needs to have an IV.

The bed is comfortable, though, and he’s happy to sag back against the pillows for a while. He wants to try and remember what happened, why he’s here, but that would require energy he does not have right now.

He lets his head hit the pillow and watches over Lois as she gets some much-needed rest.

It’s Lois who tells him, a few days after the first time he woke up. She’s holding one of his hands in hers, her thumb rubbing back and forth across his knuckles as she tells him there was an explosion. It involved an amount of gold Kryptonite that would’ve been lethal to a full Kryptonian. For once, Conner’s human DNA came in handy, but it had still been touch and go for a while.

It’s been two weeks since the explosion. One week and six days since Clark realized Conner’s wounds weren’t healing of their own. One week and five days since Tim had found out what was in the explosion.

Gold Kryptonite. The only strain of Kryptonite known to be able to take away a Kryptonian’s powers.

Permanently.

Conner thinks Clark made Lois tell him because he knows Conner can’t be mad at her. Conner doesn’t know what he hates more: that Clark is manipulating both of them like that, or that it’s working.

Because he knows that if Clark was the one telling him this, they would have to restrain Conner by now. Except, that would apparently be a lot easier now.

As it is, he just tells them both to get out. Clark gives him a sad look before he complies. Lois squeezes a hand and whispers, “Honey, I know it’s hard, but…”

She never finishes her sentence, and Conner repeats, “Please, just go.”

He can’t bear to meet her eyes as she gets up. She hesitates for a moment longer, then bends down and smooths his hair back from his face before kissing his forehead. Conner has seen her do it with Jon as she tucks him into bed. He underestimated how nice it feels.

“Rest, honey,” she says softly, and then walks out of the room.

Conner rolls on his side. It pulls on the healing burns on his back and side, but it doesn’t hurt thanks to the amount of painkillers they pumped into him. Shame those meds don’t do the same for the ache that’s settling into a part of himself he can’t name.

He turns his face into the pillow and sobs.

Tim climbs in through the window that night. He’s in civilian clothing, which briefly amuses Conner until he remembers that, oh yeah, everything that was ever important about me is gone.

Tim doesn’t say anything as he crosses the room and goes to sit on the edge of his bed. Conner just looks at him.

His hair is messier than Conner has ever seen it, and there are white bandages peeking out from where the shoulder of his hoodie slips down his arm. Conner knows they’re from the explosion. He knows because he was trying to protect Tim from that same explosion.

Even with his powers, he couldn’t keep Tim safe.

Maybe he wasn’t as important as he thinks he was.

“I’m sorry,” he says, at the same time Tim does.

Tim’s head jerks up and he finally meets Conner’s eyes. His own are wide, such a pale shade of blue that Conner can see their color brightly even in the dark room. Even without his heightened senses.

“What are you sorry for?” Tim asks, and he sounds breathless. “You saved my life, Kon, you- I wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t… And I- you lost-”

“I’d do it again,” Conner rushes out, and he means it, and he hates that he means it because he’s never been hurt like this and he wants it to stop. “I’d do it again.”

Tim looks down again, and Conner looks to the other side of the room because he thinks he’s going to cry if he keeps looking at Tim. But his eyes keep straying back towards him, towards the gauze on his exposed neck. More burns.

“I’m sorry,” Tim says again. “I’m sorry you lost your powers.”

“Yeah,” Conner replies. “Me too.”

They’re not ready for this conversation yet, their wounds still too raw and painful, and Tim seems to realize it. He gestures to the small space on Conner’s side and asks, “Can I…”

Conner scoots closer to the edge of the bed, and Tim lies down next to him. He’s careful as he wraps an arm around Conner’s shoulders, and Conner tucks his head into the crook of Tim’s neck. Tim runs a hand through his hair, gently teasing out the knots that Conner has stopped paying attention to. He needs to cut it. It’s singed to hell and back, and it’s uncomfortable, but he isn’t allowed out of bed yet.

Having a completely human physiology sucks.

But it sucks a little less with Tim’s arms around him.

It takes another week before Doctor Thompkins (he’s in Gotham, of all places) clears him to get out of bed, and she’s very insistent on him taking it slow. As if he could do anything else. His burns hurt and he doesn’t have super speed anymore.

The good news is she also clears him to have visitors other than Lois and the Kents (and Tim, who sneaks in every night, and Conner is pretty sure Doctor Thompkins knows this, but she never mentions it). By visitors other than Lois and the Kents, she mostly means she finally trusts he’s healed up enough to allow Bart in his vicinity.

He thinks it’s a little mean until Bart dashes into the room and wraps him in a bone-crushing hug. A familiar voice behind him calls out, “Careful, Bart!”

It brings an automatic but genuine grin to Conner’s face. Cassie’s voice is like an island in a stormy sea, and when Bart draws back enough that Conner can see her behind him, the sight of her is like sunlight breaking through the clouds.

It’s also a bitter reminder of what he’s lost, but what isn’t these days?

She comes over and hugs him, more carefully than Bart but tighter than Tim had, not yet used to his now very human bones. She kisses his cheek and smiles at him.

“You look well.”

It’s bullshit, and they both know it because Cassie’s nose scrunches up before she bursts into laughter, right alongside him. Then she reaches out and rubs her fingers over his buzzed hair and says, genuinely, “The haircut looks good, though.”

“It’s not like it could look worse,” Bart teases from where he’s upside down in one of the chairs. “Tim showed us the picture he took of the two of you a couple of nights back. You really do look better.”

Conner only manages to bite back a sarcastic retort because Bart’s eyes are wide and so damn innocent when he says that, that he’s convinced his teammate is being serious.

“Thanks,” he says instead, and when Bart’s face lights up with a smile, he knows it’s the right thing to say. “So, how have you guys been?”

The smile instantly vanishes again, and Bart exchanges a look with Cassie.

She sits down cross-legged on his bed before replying. “It’s… Different without you. We miss you.”

Something tightens in Conner’s chest. Longing. Because, and he’s thought about this a lot since Lois gently broke the news to him, he’s not going to be a part of their team anymore. He still calls them his teammates, but he shouldn’t because he’s no longer a part of that team. He can’t be.

Cassie hugs him again, and Bart is there too, and they hold tight.

It’s his third week of full consciousness when Clark visits. He walks in, sinks down in the chair by Conner’s bed, and says, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you the past few weeks.”

Straightforward. Lois no doubt told him to be.

“Okay,” Conner replies, because he’s not sure what else to say.

Clark blinks owlishly and then leans forward. “Kon, I can’t imagine how difficult this is for you, and I’m so sorry this is happening to you.”

“Okay,” he repeats.

“If you want to talk about it, I’m here,” Clark offers, and the only thing that keeps Conner from saying “okay” again, is that Clark looks like he’s going to have an aneurysm if he does.

“Thanks,” he says instead. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

The look on Clark’s face is a blend of surprise and exasperation that Conner would find funny, but he’s not really finding anything funny today because his burns hurt like hell and everything sucks.

Still, he takes a mental polaroid of Clark opening and closing his mouth a few times as if he’s a very large goldfish, for when he’s in the mood to laugh about it.

“Do you want a hug?” Clark asks then, and Conner wonders if he looks as stupid as Clark did mere seconds ago.

“Yeah,” he says, because Conner will die before admitting it, but Clark gives really good hugs and honestly, he could use one today. “Just be careful.”

Clark is, almost painfully so, and when he speaks, it’s with the same voice he uses to soothe Jon into going back to sleep after the kid has a nightmare. It makes Conner’s heart ache, makes him long for something he’s never had.

“Having a bad day, huh?” Clark asks, softly rubbing a hand down his back.

Conner just nods. If he speaks, he’s going to burst into tears.

“I know you might not believe this right now,” Clark says, his voice rumbling in his chest, “but you’re going to be okay, Kon. One way or another, you’re going to be okay. You’re stronger than you know.”

So much for not crying in front of Clark.

“Oh, Conner.”

He’s pretty sure he can actually hear Clark’s heart break.

“I was supposed to be you someday,” Conner whispers, so softly that he thinks the only reason Clark can even hear him is because of his enhanced hearing, “and now all I’m ever gonna be is me.”

Clark holds him tighter. “Conner, all you ever have to be is you. You’re amazing the way you are, no matter with what intentions or for what purpose you were brought into this world.”

“But I don’t even know who I am,” he admits, his breath hitching halfway through that sentence. “Not- not like this.”

“You’re Conner Kent,” Clark says. “You’re my family.”

Conner only notices that despite being called family, Clark uses his legal name rather than his Kryptonian one.

The day he’s discharged from the hospital, is a shitty one. The rain is coming down in sheets because this is Gotham, and the burns on Conner’s side are being a particular pain in the ass today.

But Tim is waiting for him outside with a purple umbrella that Conner knows belongs to Steph, and it brightens the grayness of it all a little.

He hasn’t seen Tim in a while, and he’s not sure what to say to him now that they’re standing in front of each other. But Tim smiles and says, “Hey.”

Which is a little… underwhelming, coming from his boyfriend whom he hasn’t seen in nine days.

Not that Conner had been counting.

“Really?” he asks. “That’s all? You avoid me for days, and all I get is hey?”

Tim’s face falls, and Conner immediately feels guilty, even though he knows he’s making a fair point.

“I’m sorry,” Tim apologizes. “Can we- Can we talk while we walk?”

Conner wants to say no. He wants to watch Tim squirm for an explanation to his behavior. He doesn’t do any of those things, because Conner knows it would only be him taking out his anger and frustration and bitterness on Tim. Tim deserves better than that.

All he does is nod, but it restores the smile on Tim’s lips and he leads the way through the streets of Gotham.

“I’m sorry for not visiting more often,” Tim begins after a minute or five. “You deserve better than that. I just… I feel really guilty for what happened to you, and I didn’t know how to be around you anymore.”

It only pisses Conner off more. “You didn’t know- Did you stop for a second to consider how I might feel about this, or where you so wrapped up in wallowing in guilt and self-pity that you didn’t realize how selfish you were being?” And oh, wow, he’s going for the throat apparently. “I needed you, Tim. And you weren’t there.”

Tim looks devastated, and all at once Conner’s anger vanishes. He stumbles over to a bench in a pathetic excuse for a park and sinks down on the cold metal, not caring about the dampness soaking into his sweatpants.

“I’m sorry,” he says genuinely. Even though everything he said was true, he could’ve brought it better. “My life hasn’t been making much sense lately. Not that it ever did, but…” He lets out a huff of humorless laughter. “You know what I mean.”

Tim sits down next to him, holding the umbrella over the two of them even though the bench beneath them is wet. “You don’t have to apologize. You’re right. I felt so guilty for what happened, and I couldn’t stand seeing you so- so defeated.”

Defeated. A clone of Superman. A month ago, Conner would have found the idea laughable.

“So I just didn’t see you at all,” Tim continues. He’s staring into the puddle beneath their feet as he talks. “But that was stupid of me. I was afraid you’d be angry with me because it’s my fault you got hurt, I never considered that you might have needed me. You know, I- sometimes I feel like I need you more than you need me, and then things like this happen and I’m reminded that that isn’t true. There’s no who needs who more, we just need each other.”

Conner rests his chin on Tim’s shoulder, kissing the side of his neck. He doesn’t say anything, but he feels like he doesn’t need to.

“So, how have you been?” Tim asks after a few minutes of listening to the rain battering the umbrella and each other’s breathing.

“Physically or mentally?” Conner asks, and he means it as a joke, but it comes out a little too weary for that. So he shrugs and decides to own it. “Doesn’t matter. Neither have been great.”

Tim nuzzles his hair. “Talk to me, Kon.”

“I mean… It’s just… Clark came by and he told me that I just had to be me, but I don’t know how to do that because without my powers, I don’t even know who I am. Before Clark accepted me into his family, I didn’t even have a name. I just had a purpose, and that was all I was.” The words are coming fast, faster than the downpour, and Conner can’t tell if he’s talking faster and faster, or if the rain is slowing down. “And then I met you guys, and I was a hero and a part of the team, and that was who I was, but now…”

“Hey,” Tim says, and he tilts Conner’s chin up until they’re looking into each other’s eyes. “You’re still a part of the team, Kon. It’ll be different, but you’re still a part of us.”

“But I don’t-”

“You’re one of us,” Tim firmly repeats. “And if you want to be on the team, then you’re going to be on the team. With or without powers, you’re still a hero if that’s who you want to be.”

“But-”

“Conner,” Tim groans, and Conner laughs because he likes it when Tim calls him Conner instead of Kon. “What I’m trying to say is that you are whoever you decide you want to be. And if that’s a hero and a part of our team, then that’s who you are. Your powers didn’t define you, Kon. Your heart does.”

When Conner remains silent, Tim seems to think he has said something wrong.

“I know it’s not gonna be easy, and you’re still recovering physically and mentally, and not every day is gonna be a good one, but-”

Conner cuts him off by quickly pecking his lips. “Are you done?”

Tim blinks. “Depends. If I start talking, will you kiss me again?”

Conner swats his arm, before wrapping an arm around his waist. “I love you, Tim Drake.”

Tim beams at him. “I love you too.”

It’s not a magical fix. There’s no magical fix for something as monumental as this –or maybe there is and no one has simply bothered to call Zatanna yet. But the knowledge that everyone he loves has his back, makes it a little more bearable.

#fanfic #fic writing #timkon #conner kent #kon el #fluff #angst #a healthy mix of both :)

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stxleslyds · 3 years ago

Note

It seems like you have a negative opinion on all non-Winick characterizations of Jason in the comics. But do you hate them all equally? Could you rank all non-Winick comic depictions of Jason from best to worst characterization? Or maybe give them a letter grade?

Hi friend! This is a bit funny to me because I really didn’t expect people to be so vocal about me being such an annoying person when it comes to Jason’s characterizations. I can’t promise that I won’t complain anymore but I will try to be kinder.

But I won’t start right now, because I really want to make this ranking, it will go from best to absolute worst! I bet you guys won’t know who is in the deepest circle in hell! Place your bets everyone!

This is the level that gives me joy! (Yup, I put a writer that only wrote ten pages of Jason content as the best, please don’t call me out on it).

Matthew Rosenberg: I love him and I love what he has done with Jason, I have only read ten pages of his work while writing Jason and he already has me hooked. Like I said in that one ask/post, I think he will make some amazing things with the Jason that we have now and I still believe that. Little shit and competent Jason Todd, I am glad you are here.

Peter Tomasi: This one is a little checky because his run is out of comics canon, but his Arkham Knight Jason Todd and the way he wrote his origin are absolutely stunning.

Marv Wolfman: His Robin Jason was really good and I am really glad that we had those comics in which we could see Jason in an environment that didn’t include Batman. I was like looking at what Jason could have been if he had stayed with the Titans’ instead of keep on being Robin in Gotham with Batman.

This is the level in which I can still like some things about the story even though in general I didn’t enjoy the book.

Joshua Williamson: Yeah, but he is only here because his story seemed interesting, my issue as I have said before is his subplot “romance” and the fact that he seems to be the kind of writer that wants to push the “Batfamily” dynamic. Otherwise, his Jason characterization when it came to him not liking working for the Magistrate was really good, sadly it was overshadowed by all the bad that I just really didn’t enjoy at all

Chip Zdarsky: Tyler (Blue Hood) and Jason working to rid Gotham of a drug really brought me back to the good old days. I also really liked seeing the parallels between Jason and his mom with Tyler and his own mother, it felt like a good way to start a connection and develop a Red Hood story. Sadly, the book as a whole was shit and it ended horribly but there were some interesting moments.

Now we are looking at the level where I just wonder: Why?

Paul Dini: Why? His Jason really did a 360, and I meant it, I really don’t know what the point of Jason taking the mantle of another dead Jason was. His Red Robin was just a Red Hood in a different suit and that was that. I understand that they wanted to kill him because he was an anomaly and all that but, he just really felt out of place in that event. This was the first warning: Jason Todd/Red Hood only works on a street-level, stop trying to make everyone dimension jump and all that DC.

Bruce Jones: Hey! I forgot about this guy in the last post! He sucks! And his arc in Nightwing is the epitome of the question: Why? I get it, DiDio wanted to kill Dick and then have Jason take over as Nightwing but Dick didn’t die at the end of Infinite Crisis, he was still alive there was no reason to have Jason dress up as Nightwing and going on a killing spree, also, the tentacles? Really? Annoying and weird.

Scott Snyder and Tim Seeley: I ask why but I know why. This was a desperate attempt to use Jason in stories because they couldn’t use Dick Grayson. It was also weird because being there only pushed him more towards the Bat-Clan even though he had his Outlaws team going on. It was just weird and they were also big on unnecessary “romances”.

This is the Skrull Jason level. Here I see, hear and feel no Jason Todd.

Grant Morrison: Grant needed a villain and all they could come up with was this weird as red-haired-pill-headed-Red Hood and DC said “sure, why not?”. There is no real way to find UtRH Jason in this version of Jason and that for me is a little bit better than still seeing the Jason that I loved in whatever this was.

Tony S. Daniel: This one sucks the most because it isn’t that Jason is unrecognizable its just that Jason is the exact opposite of who he would have become. Everything about this Jason seems to come from the Upside Down. Him saying that Gotham needs Batman so he will be Batman and he needs a Robin was the wildest take that I have seen about Jason. I have no other words for it.

Hell.

James Tynion IV: whoever invited this man to this party needs to understand that they made a big mistake. All Tynion did was overpower the living hell out of Jason for a fight that wasn’t big enough to become a Batman/Red Hood event. The fight was so lame and so stupid, if Jason had learned the ancient martial arts move in the All-Castle and the used that and the All-Blades to defeat Ra’s it would have been more than enough, but in New 52 writers really wanted to make Jason look like the most experienced and best at being a hero when Kory and Roy were standing next to him.

Scott Lobdell: He sucks, New 52 was just terrible, there was nothing that I liked from it, character assassination for everyone, nobody was treated well there. He wrote a self-insert version of Jason and it was noticeable because Jason was trash in New 52. Rebirth was better but that didn’t make things better for Jason because Lobdell started to fuel the “Jason was guilty for his own death” and “Jason was a reckless Robin” narratives and here we are today. Lobdell danced around his own stories, his characterization of Jason and he never gave a fulfilling ending to any of his arcs. Some characters we only saw once some others simply disappeared. Nothing ever truly started or ended when it came to his writing.

Ginnungagap.

Geoff Johns: to him all I will say is: comprate un bosque y perdete.

Thank you for the ask! I had fun doing this! I wish you have an excellent day!

#jason todd #red hood #rhato #dc comics #jasons characterization #asksss

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emptymasks · 3 years ago

Note

I’ve seen a lot about your thoughts on Elisabeth and Tanz der Vampire, and they’ve been really helpful getting into those musicals! But you have a huge list of other musicals that people can get into…

So I was wondering if you had any musicals you hadn’t mentioned in a while that you really like or would like to talk about??? (preferably something from your lists that has a blue heart please?)

Oh if only you knew how long the list of European musicals really is... I however have only seen 9 (if I counted right) and I have a lot more that I still need to watch. Oh also, I only put the blue hearts on any musicals that I was providing multiple links for so people could see which version I reccoment the most highly. If a musical only had one link and didn't have a blue heart it doesn't mean I didn't like it.

I've watched: Mozart das Musical, Elisabeth das Musical, Tanz der Vampire, 3 Musketiers, Mozart L'Opéra Rock, Dracula (the Graz production), Rebecca das Musical, Roméo et Juliette and Schikaneder.

If you enjoyed those two you're likely to enjoy Rebecca! It's written by the same composer/lyricist team as Elisabeth and Mozart (and same lyricist as Tanz der Vampire - though if you're listening to any German musical, original or translated, 90% of the time the lyrics will have been done by Michael Kunze that man is everywhere). The Stuttgart production has my favourite set design of any musical! Well... Actually probably. There are so many big set pieces it's insane, way more than I've seen in some Broadway and West End musicals. You can tell so much work went into it and the visual effects that I won't spoil if you don't know the plot but if you know the plot you know what I mean by the effects at the end are so good and I didn't expect them at all and I freaked out so much the first time I watched it. Jan Ammann as Maxim in the Stuttgart production is the best Maxim. No I won't take any argument. Other actors feel a bit one-dimensional to me, but the way Maxim acts at times comes from trauma and some actors and productions seem to forget that, but Jan really goes for it and his Maxim is a lot more sympathetic and I just want to give him a hug. Pia Douwes as Mrs Danvers, if you've seen her in Elisabeth what more do I need to say, she's amazing. A musical goddess. Her Danny is a bit more wild than some, but she kills it. My favourite video, which I put the blue heart next to, has understudy Christina Patten as Ich/I, but I adore her she's my favourite. She adds some spunk to Ich in act 2 and her voice is so pretty and aaaa. I just love these three actors together in these roles.

Roméo et Juliette is another favourite of mine! It's hard to choose which one to recommend, but it has to be the original 2000/2001 production because of the sweetness and chemistry and voices of Damien Sargue and Cecilia Cara as Romeo and Juliet. They're so pretty and work together so well. The only reason I say it's hard to pick is Mercutio. I adore him, but in the original production they cut out a song they had planned for him and he doesn't really do much at all? In the 2010 revival they gave him two more songs and you care about him so much more and John Eyzen plays such a good Mercutio. So I'd recommend the original but if you want to like Mercutio more, which you should he's amazing, I'd recommend watching at least clips of John's. It's an interesting musical because all productions are non-replica and also change around the order of songs, add or take away characters, all sorts. The Hungarian production is also very popular and I'm sure it's great, I just haven't' gotten around to watching it yet.

Mozart das Musical was the first non-English language musicals I watched so I have a fondness for it, but it's not my favourite. However, I do realise I have forgotten most of the songs and the few I've gone back and listened to are better than I remember.

Dracula isn't super popular and I understand why, I don't love the plot of the Dracula/Mina romance in it, however. I do love this musical because despite how I find the plot lacking, the songs are so good! At least, I love them. And the actors are all doing a great job. And it's one of the few Dracula adaptions to keep Quincy Morris so they get bonus points for that.

Mozart L'Opéra Rock and modern French musicals... This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but they're often more like pop-rock operas now. So if you're not into musicals with that style of music it might not be for you, but I still enjoyed it even though I didn't think I would because of the style of music. Mozart and Salieri's chemistry is very good, Salieri's bisexual crisis song is iconic, actually all of Salieri's songs are iconic.

Schikaneder... eh. I didn't like it that much and I didn't really like any of the songs. There's no English subtitles, but someone sent me the entire English synopsis and I watched it with a German friend so I had double the help of understanding it. Doesn't mean others might not like it, just none of the songs stood out to me and I had no desire to listen to any of them again. It's by Steven Scharwz of Wicked fame and I love Wicked, but I didn't love this.

3 Musketiers!! God it's so underrated and not spoken about within the European musical fandom that I even forget about it and literally forgot to write about it earlier in this post. It's a Dutch musical (though did also have a German production) and it's really good!? Faces you might know are Pia Douwes as Milady de Winter, Stanley Burlseon as Cardinal Richeliu (Netherlands Der Tod in Elisabeth), Henk Poort as Athos (Netherlands Phantom and Jean Valjean). The dialgoue is funny, the songs are good, some of the set pieces have no right to exist in this tiny musical?? They made this giant boat and pelt the actors with rain just for one 5 minute song and then we never see the boat again? And while I recommend the Dutch one because Dutch musicals deserve more love and it has official English subtitles!! Official ones, not fanmade! I have the DVD and it comes with English subtitles (and Dutch and German subtitles) which is so nice. The German version is also good, good cast, Pia came back and Uwe Kroger as Richeliu and omg they rearranged the songs and the German arrangement of Nicht Aus Stein is insane and amazing and frankly iconic.

That's all of the ones I have watched. Next on my list to watch are Rudolf and Notre Dame de Paris, both of which I have listened to some songs from and already love (I've listened to way too much of Notre Dame de Paris and am so in love).

I want to start organising streams where I'll host the musical either by getting the video from Youtube or my own files and anyone who wants to join can come along and watch with us, chat with us if you want or just watch there's no pressure to chat. I thought about doing weekly streams? This would also make me finally watch some of the ones I've been meaning to for ages. But I keep wondering about time zones. I'm in the UK and would want to stream at about 11pm at the latest (11pm BST/GMT+1 as we’re in daylight savings at the moment, if the streams continue past the end of October which would be wild then I’ll make a note of the time change that would be to 11pm GMT), which I know can work for other UK and Europeans, but for any Americans would be in the afternoon. So, I wondered if doing it on a weekend would be better? Then it doesn't matter if it's in the afternoon? Maybe Saturday evenings then? It would either be Saturday evenings UK time or Friday evenings UK time. What do you guys think? If people are down then I'll make a separate post with a list of what we'll be watching each week and if anything happens to me that means I can't stream one week then everything will just get pushed back a week, but I don't see that as likely to happen. And I'll only be streaming those that have English subtitles, so don't worry about not being able to understand anything.

edit: am also open to 10pm bst if others want that, im just trying to think of what time works best for everyone so sorry if 11pm is a little late for europeans, i know 10pm could be a little early for americans. also in case it sounded like these are the only musicals i will be streaming, thats not so, ive got more than just the ones mentioned on this list!

(Tagging some people who I know are or might be interested in streams to see what you think of that plan: @sirona-art @ringwraith100 @tanz-der-trash @smilingwoland @the-weird-dane @witchgaye @ami-fidele @kisstheghouls @looking-4-happiness @ladysapphire928 @sloanedestler @tinywound @persephonaae @phoenixdewinter @uwucoffee @freshbloodandgothicism )

#european musicals #mozart das musical #3 musketiers #dracula the musical #retj #romeo et juliette #mozart l'opera rock #mozart l'opéra rock #musical theatre #musicals #broadway #musicaledit #rebecca das musical #rebecca the musical #answeredasks #non english language musicals

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fanfiction-funtime · 3 years ago

Note

IM SORRY IVE BEEN SLACKING ON HYPING YOU UP

Anyway I’m reading through the Things ™ and wow

Can I request something? There’s an idea I’ve been pondering for a bit. You know already who I’ll ask for, I’m guessing.

What if the reader fell for Xiao in Genshin, in a state where they constantly daydream about him. Rather than working on scenarios and scenes, it happens in real time.

Meanwhile, in another universe, Xiao in a modern setting has fallen for a Genshin character- the reader. He daydreams about them in the same manner.

To the reader, their Xiao is a guardian yaksha, Golden adeptus, and doombane itself.

To Xiao, his (y/n) is something just as exalted. I tend to use a seelie, since they’re an immortal race of ancient and now weak gods.

What they both don’t know is that they’re actually meeting in those daydreams. It’s not just imagination and the longing for company, but an actual relationship with another person.

Bonus points if it’s some sort of soulmate au and they physically can’t find each other and eventually realize it.

I’ve never told anyone about this before, and I’m excited to see what you do with it! I might work with it one day, just not yet.

(Hoo boy, this will be tough, but I'm sure I can do it! Xiao might be a bit ooc as I'm getting his personality from wiki and fanon, as well as modern au [hopefully] gives him less trauma and a slightly different personality.)

(Also, I can't do sad endings. So a bit of deus ex OC at the 3rd part)

---------------------------

Your game

---------------------------

Your pov: the dream eater of your dreams

---------------------------

You are (y/n)(l/n), and you are in the saddest love story this side of the lake.

Ever since you saw him in that first quest you were in love!

You were just a teen though, so it wasn't real right? After all, your red string wasn't connected to the screen.

Well, your string isn't connected to anything...

Y-your just a late bloomer though right?

(Ten years later)

Your now in your twenties and you still love Xiao!

He permeates your thoughts like how lovers do, you feel an inexplicable hurt in your chest similar to what many describe feeling when they see their soulmate prior to their string appearing, not to mention whenever you aren't busy you feel like you're...slipping...in...in and...

[Daydream]

It was happening again.

It was like a daydream but more...real.

Like a lucid dream.

You saw your string, just like so many other times, and you followed it.

You ran and ran, turquoise clouds parting and making paths for you to find him.

Him..

You ran and ran, glad that atleast in some way your delusions can give you some semblance of true love.

You saw the..wait..that's not the inn.

Well it is the inn, but more modern. And there was a school next to it, and a small village not far away.

Another of thing was that you were in some kind of yellow armor, it reminded you of those baby geovisnaps from genshin impact(that are absolutely BULL-)

You went into the elevator, which seemed more ancient than usual.

And when you reached the balcony, you saw him. But he was different.

Instead of the Yaksha you usually saw, you were greeted by an equally shocked man in a martial arts gi. But it was him.

But different.

You reached out, and he did the same.

And you touched

---------------------------

Xiao's pov: the midsummer knight of his dreams

---------------------------

(Clarifying: in this version Liyue is based on European mythology and aesthetic while Mondstadt is based on Chinese. So you are a fae hunting knight rather than a demon hunting yaksha)

Xiao had always been reserved, but what happened to him as a kid drew him further into his shell.

Abusive parents, accidentally giving his sister trauma induced amnesia, he felt the weight of his actions like atlas feels the world on his shoulders.

Luckily, two people took him and his sister QiQi in: QiQi's doctor Baizhu, and Xiao's therapist(and Baizhu's husband) Morax.

It was difficult to come out, even after Xiao stopped feeling so at fault. So he mostly stayed in his room and played video games.

That is until he met you.

Well met is the wrong word here.

He saw your character in his world's version of genshin impact: tribunal eruption

The way you used your weapon, the way your armor shined in the night as you rode to his wanderer. The smile you gave as he handed you (favourite food).

But most of all, the way you used fighting styles from so many martial arts and hand to hand combat techniques.

From irish kickboxing to karate, from assassination arts in ancient history of japan to systema.

It awoken two things in him: first was his want to learn martial arts and make his own.

The second was his love for you.

But don't worry, your physical attributes only drew him in. Your personality made him stay.

Years went on, he became a martial arts instructor for his own style, and moved into an apartment near a small village.

He started teaching at a school nearby, he even gets a discount on rent for giving free lessons to the owner's sons, Ivan and Viktor.

He's also convinced those two have a crush on him but it's pointless.

After all, he was a dream eater, a common group of people who have a strange ability to find their soulmate.

Specifically, the ability to have "lucid daydreams" where they meet their soulmate.

But he must be defective. After all his soulmate kept appearing as...well you. As a knight that would meet him on the balcony every night.

He assumed maybe it was your voice actor or designer, but neither of them have had the lucid daydreams.

He began thinking he'd never find his soulmate

Until one daydream...

He was on the balcony again, like a prince awaiting his knight to rescue him.

But it was different.

The apartment complex he lived in now looked much smaller, as did the tree it was built around, and the building looked far more ancient in design yet so much younger in age.

And the village and school nearby aren't there anymore.

Oddest change of all is that his gi he was wearing just a second ago is now similar to the outfit warn by the mondstadt demon slayer Corps

And when you arrived at the balcony, he noticed a red string, one that connected your heart to his. But you weren't wearing your armor, you were wearing casual, modern clothes.

He knew it was stupid, after all you can't touch your soulmate in the daydreams. But he felt compelled to....to reach out and..

You touched him.

---------------------------

nothing never comes between you, and nobody helps you get together

---------------------------

(3rd person pov)

He really did find it annoying, how often mortals would find themselves in the wrong dimension, especially when it's because the writer wants drama. And now he's written in to solve the problem.

Ah well, it's his job.

(2nd person pov)

You didn't know how to feel. You were touching Xiao...and you weren't waking up. Was this...real?

"You... you're real...different but....still the person I love...." Xiao seemed to be equally in a trance at the prospect

"yeah...so are you..."

The armor you wore melted away, and you cant see it but Xiao's fictional clothes melted from him as well. You were both equally real, in your own reality.

But you knew it couldn't last.

"When the daydream ends, I wont be able to see you anymore," Xiao said with a sea of tears in his eyes, "We've actually met now...and now...now the dreams will end."

You lean into him, "then let's make this dream the best one we've ever had."

Your about to kiss when-

"Terribly sorry about this!" A childlike voice called, "you know, interrupting your moment and all that. See for the sake of narrative, you both were put in separate universes. And it's my job to give you a happy ending."

When you both looked, you saw a child made of bone climbing into reality from some kind of hole.

"Now just wait a moment aaannnd-"

The turquoise clouds cleared, and the world rippled into a conjoined reality between genshin impact and tribunal eruption.

"Welcome to your dream world, enjoy eternal love!" The child said as he crawled back into the hole and it closed.

When he was gone, you both observed the world around you: a beautiful mix of aesthetics surrounded you, and both your armor and his adeptus clothing were on you both.

You gazed into eachother's eyes.

He placed one hand on your cheek while another held your hand, "I'm not good with speaking..speaking my emotions..but I....maybe my actions can do that for me..."

You felt your red string radiate with the warmth of love, likewise Xiao felt his daydreams dissipate like a haze leaving his mind.

You grab his hand and place your free hand on his cheek, mirroring his love, as you always have.

"Xiao...your very existence tells me all I need to hear.."

You both leaned in, and kissed.

Two lovers, in a dream made reality,

A paradise for all eternity.

---------------------------

I feel it kinda fell apart with the deus ex, but I think I scraped it back together in the end!

I hope it's good enough for what you envisioned buddy, I tried my best!

(Also I think you deserve something just as good as what happens to the reader insert in this fic, story)

(Tagging: @golden-wingseos (this is the writing blog for someone you told to tag you), and @storytravelled (just to keep the idea of tagging in mind))

#i will explain some choices in a reblog #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin #genshin impact #xiao #genshin xiao #xiao x reader

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neutron-stars-collision · 4 years ago

Text

The Art of Inversion

Neil x Reader

Chapter 12 - A Little Death

Masterlist; Chapter 11

Summary: You have to help Neil get back onto his feet after the tragic news. The lack of control and overwhelming grief lead to a few revelations...

Warnings: This is quite angsty still despite mentions of comfort; excessive drinking; self-harm (only implied); swearing

Author’s Notes: Okay so the length of this is beyond me and I’m sorry. This takes place just before Neil’s departure to Mumbai, film-wise. I really hope you’ll enjoy and please let me know what you think!

P.S. The referenced song is ‘A Little Death’ by The Neighbourhood

You did not check how long you were sat like that on the floor, cradling Neil and letting him cry and shake as though those were the only things he was capable of. Later you realised it was probably close to two hours as by the time you got up, it was nearly evening. But for those two hours, you just let him take his time. He did not speak, and you only occasionally whispered words of reassurance into his ear. You kept on drawing soothing circles into the skin of his back. After the first half-hour, you found a much-needed package of tissues and placed them in his lap. Despite his silence, you knew that your presence meant everything. And so you stayed, ignoring the rumbling in your stomach and tiredness. For the most part, you also ignored your own tears, fully aware that this was not about you, nor it should be.

Neil’s heart-wrenching sobs stopped after those two hours and were replaced with small gasps as though he was struggling for air. That is when you knew that the breakdown was past its culmination point. Slowly, you shifted so that you could look at him and gently tipped his chin. His eyes were puffy and red. The heart-breaking look he gave you was enough to nearly tip you off the edge. But you had to be strong. So you just took a deep breath and broke the silence:

“Don’t say you’re sorry for this because that’s the least I could have done for you” he nodded hesitantly upon seeing your determined gaze “I’m here for you, and I won’t make you talk about anything but sometimes it helps” you kissed him on the forehead.

When you met his gaze afterwards, you were struck by the admiration you saw there. He smiled at you slightly as though trying to convey something difficult to be expressed otherwise. You smiled back and took his hand in yours, giving it a comforting squeeze. After another beat, you got up and filled a glass of water for him. You knew well enough how something so simple is needed after crying for so long. You watched as he emptied the whole glass, placed it on the side, and took a deep breath. Then he spoke for the first time in two hours.

“I… I know that this isn’t what you’re used to from me” he shrugged helplessly.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re still someone I care about deeply” for a second you wondered why you felt like you wanted to say more.

But now was definitely not the time. So, instead, you added:

“Tell me what happened? If you’re ready, of course” you took his hand back and smiled when he entwined your fingers on reflex.

“When we arrived, he…” Neil swallowed hard “TP called us to his office and started explaining the next steps in the operation. He mentioned the bloody Mumbai and how I’m needed there tomorrow” he clenched his jaw, and you felt the tension rise.

You placed your free hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. Then you let your hand linger on the side of his neck. He sighed at your touch before resuming the story:

“Then he asked Ives to leave, and we talked a bit about everything… It was like the old days, you know” his brow furrowed “He mentioned how I’m probably his greatest friend in the whole world… How I helped him make Tenet into what it is now and how that wouldn’t be possible without my contribution” he exhaled shakily “We even talked about you” he glanced up and met your surprised look “Just about how it was seemingly fate that brought us together and how you fit in so well here, just taking everything in your stride” you smiled at the words shyly.

Even though it hurt you to know that he was not allowed the truth about your hiring. But maybe that was for the better, you mused.

“We talked like that for over an hour before he started acting strange… The things he said…” he seemed to gather words “It didn’t make much sense, but now I think I should’ve realised that he was…” he shuddered slightly “That it was supposed to be a goodbye” you saw the tears in his eyes again and shifted so that he could rest his forehead on your shoulder.

“Don’t blame yourself for not predicting what will happen. There’s no point in that” you leaned against the foot of the bed behind to be more comfortable.

“Maybe… But I felt something was wrong, so an hour after I left his quarters, I went back in” you tightened the hold on his hand, feeling the moment approach “The door was unlocked and he… he was just sat there” Neil brought his head up to look at you with teary eyes “I thought that he was fine but then… there was no pulse, and he wasn’t breathing” you felt him become breathless and gently urged him to slow down.

When he stopped hyperventilating, you let him lean on your shoulder again.

“He died alone… and I couldn’t do anything about it” you were not sure if you preferred the dejected tone or the former sobs “I was supposed to be his best friend, his partner”

“I think that he didn’t want to hurt you even more by making you watch it happen” you suggested, trying to make sense of the situation.

After the earlier text and what Neil told you begun to understand that TP intended to do it. To end his life. You just had to find a reason why.

“But I don’t understand why he did it” Neil’s voice broke through your contemplation “There was no reason to… He said himself that the plan is going well” you could hear anger creeping into his voice.

“I know… But maybe there was a reason…” you trailed off.

Neil watched you sharply, and you felt like if you said something wrong, you could risk losing him again. You had to tread softly.

“You once said that he never did things without reasons” you stumbled over the tense and frowned “And that’s the same feeling I got when I talked with him… Maybe he had to do that to avoid clashing with his former self in any way” you glanced at Neil to gauge his expression.

He was staring ahead into space with a serious look in his eyes, considering what you said.

“Is like… they mentioned during training that it would be bad if we ever came in contact with our other selves, inverted and so on” you kept on rambling, hoping it was helping somehow “So maybe he was afraid that his existence now would coincide with his younger self out there”

“There must have been better ways of dealing with that” you could tell that he was angry.

At himself. At TP. At the universe. And there was nothing you could do.

“Maybe that was all that he could think of”

You watched helplessly as he turned away from you, suddenly overcome with the emotions. You urged yourself to calm down. Maybe now was a good moment to mention the text…?

“I… I got a text message from him actually… as I was getting here in the cab” you took out your phone and gingerly offered it to him.

Neil took it without question and read over the recent message. Then you saw his eyes dart to other text conversations. But you did not mind. There was nothing to hide. He handed you back the phone without a further word. Then he got up and wandered over to one of the side cabinets.

Now that was concerning.

“Neil?” you scrambled after him and watched in horror as he hastily threw the cabinet contents onto the floor.

Finally, he found a whisky bottle hidden in the back and took a triumphant swing out of it. That sight made you shake off any paralysis you fell into. You crossed the room and snatched the bottle from him. The dark look he gave you was somewhat terrifying. He took a step closer as you took one back. Then he met your gaze challengingly as though doubting your ability to deny him anything. But this time, you were not going to give in. You shook your head and extended the gap.

“It helps with the pain” Neil shrugged helplessly.

“I know, but I think you’ve had enough for today” you gestured towards the empty bottles on the floor.

Thinking fast, you decided to act. You took out your phone and summoned Ives, asking him to come by Neil’s room in a moment. He responded instantly, evidently waiting on the news. Once that was dealt with, you went on to pick up the reminders of Neil’s state. When he saw you do that, you heard him speak:

“If you’re going to take away all the alcohol, then at least leave me the empty bottles” you turned to see an unfamiliar cynical smile “The glass might come handy” the emptiness in his eyes made the delivery worse.

You could only stare, processing the words. Suddenly everything felt too overwhelming.

“Neil…”

You stared at him pleadingly, hoping that maybe the look of panic in your eyes will help him realise what he said. You did not dare breathe until he somehow denied your worst anxieties about the situation. You watched as his face fell, then he covered it with his hands and breathed out a long exhale.

“Fuck. I’m sorry…” he stared at the floor “I didn’t mean it” he looked up at you remorsefully “I don’t know why I said that…”

“It’s okay. Just don’t ever scare me like that again” you gave him a weary smile.

Before you could say anything more, a knock on the door interrupted you. At Neil’s quizzical stare, you answered:

“Ives. I’ve asked him to come” you moved to the door, clutching all the bottles in your arms “Give me a second. And please don’t do anything stupid” you gave him a final warning look before you exited into the corridor.

Ives waited there with a worried expression on his face that seemed fixed at this point.

“Is he alright?” he asked, glancing at the door you closed.

You shuddered, thinking about the situation you just dealt with. But he need not know all that.

“He will be. For now, though…” you placed all the bottles of alcohol in his arms “Take these please and maybe get us a little something to eat from the kitchen… and tea” you tried to gather your thoughts.

“Okay” he nodded “If you need anything else, let me know”

“Thanks” you sighed, feeling the tiredness slowly descent upon your whole body.

But there was no time for that. Not yet.

“I’ll stay with him tonight” for once, Ives did not tease you about it, and you were grateful.

“His plane is at 3 pm tomorrow. Do you think that’s manageable?” he looked sceptical.

“It has to be” you smiled as Ives squeezed your shoulder reassuringly “I better go back to him. Just leave the food outside and knock on the door, please. Think it’s best if he doesn’t see anyone else tonight”

“Of course”

Without further word, you entered the room again and locked the door behind you. Neil was sat on the bed, anxiously picking at the skin around his fingernails. His hair was falling in his eyes, and he was staring at his lap, looking incredibly lost. It hurt you to see him like this. Ignoring the growing ache in your chest, you approached him slowly.

“I asked Ives to get us some food and tea because I think we both could do with that” you attempted a smile when he looked up “But before it arrives, you could shower and get changed… that could help a little”

You stood near enough to reach out and brush your fingers over his cheek tenderly. He seemed to consider your words for a moment before he leaned into your palm.

“Okay, I’ll try” you saw him hesitate before adding, “Thank you for putting up with this”

“Of course, that’s what friends are for” for some reason, the word felt wrong. And he noticed that too as you saw a small frown appear before he smiled at you and left for the bathroom.

When you heard him put the shower on, you started cleaning the room. You put away the pages that landed on the floor and made the bed. While you were smoothing the covers, your brain came up with a rather intrusive thought about how there you were, alone with Neil in his room. Again. And how that really did not fit in with the friendship story you desperately clung to. Because it was rather obvious that you would end up sharing the bed again. That was not something friends did this frequently. You did your best to shut that voice, but you could not deny the facts. So you just sighed and waited patiently for Neil to remerge.

Food arrived before he showed up, so you just set the coffee table. Once you were done, you heard the bathroom door creak. You turned to look at him and were taken aback by the casualness of his get-up. For the first time since you have met, he was not wearing suit trousers and a shirt, and instead had loose joggers and a t-shirt on. Despite the reality of the situation you found yourself in, you could not help but stare. He caught your look with a rather sheepish expression that you did not expect.

Interesting… But there was no time to dwell on it, so you just invited him to the table and encouraged him to have something from the selection Ives got you. Sometimes you would anxiously glance at him to see whether his mood has not changed for worse again. But he seemed fine; quiet and sombre but there with you, physically and mentally. And that was what mattered for the moment. So after you ate, you suggested settling in bed to rest. Neil agreed to that without any objections, giving you hope that maybe he was past his worst point.

After the initial awkwardness of the situation wore off, and you both relaxed onto the pillows, you asked:

“Should we put the tv on? Just have some music on or something…” you searched his eyes, trying not to get too conscious of the moment.

While this was certainly not the first time for you to casually share a bed, this time it somehow felt different. But you blamed that on the rollercoaster of emotions you both went through in the recent days.

“Yeah sure” Neil nodded and sent you a small smile.

This silent version of him was strange to get used to. It felt like he was holding back from you, and you were not sure whether you liked that. But there was nothing you could do apart from giving him unlimited space and time for expression should he need it. So, to provide a distraction, you put on the tv and quickly found a suitable music channel that was not blasting annoying pop songs. Silence fell on you again, as you let the music help you relax. You were not even paying attention to the exact songs played.

‘Make me feel like I am breathing Feel like I am human’

That is until you felt Neil shift, and you glanced in his direction only to meet his intense stare. The blue eyes were fixed on you with a hazy tint on the pupils. Before you could ask him anything, he moved closer. You were struck by the look of intoxication on his face. Somehow you knew that it was not due to alcohol. You felt slightly paralysed by the multitude of feelings that came then. Neil ended his scrutiny of your face to ask:

“Can I kiss you?” his voice was huskier than usual.

‘Touch me, yeah I want you to touch me there’

“Neil...” his name usually came quite handy in those speechless moments.

There were millions of reasons why you should not let him, but the look on his face and what he said next started breaking down the resolve.

“I know” he was looking at you with something close to pleading “I know this won’t fix anything, but if for at least a few seconds I can forget about this mess... then please give me that”

‘She sought death on a queen-sized bed And he had said, "Darling, your looks can kill, So now you're dead.’

He was close now. So close that all you had to do was lean in and kiss him softly. He sighed at the contact, and you brushed away the damp hair from his eyes. Then he deepened the kiss, pulling you closer with his hands on your waist. You were too lost in the moment to stop him when he urged you to lie down on the covers. Feeling your heart pound in your chest, you continued the kiss as he hovered over your body. His hands wandered until you felt him slide them underneath the fabric of your shirt. The warm, sudden touch on your bare skin acted as a warning. You gasped and broke the kiss, but not before he managed to bite on your lower lip, drawing blood. The desperate whine he let out made you open your eyes in a flash. The darkness of his eyes made you realise how close it got to the point of no return. That was enough to help you shake off the daze.

“Please, not like this” you pushed him away gently.

Your cheeks were burning as you came to realise what nearly happened. But once you met Neil’s gaze again, you could tell that he was still not quite aware of the reality. The passionate look in his eyes was replaced with something akin to begging.

“I just want to get lost in you” he murmured, still keeping his hands on the bare skin of your waist.

He ran his fingers along your sides, and you shivered. Inhaling slowly, you tried to calm down. Normally his words would have made you throw caution to the wind. But something like that could be disastrous right now.

“I don’t want it to happen like that” you pushed him off you completely and sat up, suddenly unable to look him in the eye.

“But you want it?” the hopeful tone made your insides flutter with thousands of anxious butterflies.

Fuck… Of course, he wouldn’t let it go easily.

“Ask me again when we’re both better” you hoped that you sounded surer than you felt.

You touched the split lip and wiped away the blood droplet with your thumb. That moment must have awakened something in Neil, as suddenly you heard him inhale sharply before he blurted:

“God, I’m so sorry” you looked up to see him staring at you in terror “I don’t know what overcame me… It’s not that I didn’t want to…” he was clearly struggling with whatever he wanted to say.

“It’s okay. I won’t hold you accountable for whatever happened… or almost happened” you gave him your most convincing smile despite feeling more confused than ever.

“But I… I want you to know I didn’t do that only because I’ve lost control” that was enough for you.

“Neil, it’s fine” you interrupted him “You don’t have to explain. It doesn’t matter” you forced another smile onto your face, praying he will drop the topic.

You could not even explain why it hurt so much. Maybe because you worried it was just him losing control? And that if there was someone else with him in your place, it would have happened anyway? But it felt selfish to have those thoughts after everything that happened, so you just tried to rake your brain for some other distraction. Somehow, this moment felt right to breach a topic that has been on your mind for the past few hours. Slowly, you turned to face Neil, who was evidently still pondering the situation while staring at the tv screen unseeingly.

“Neil…” he turned to you the instant you said his name “Before I came here, Ives told me about Alex…”

The moment you mentioned the name, you could see a plethora of emotions flash in Neil’s eyes. There was shock, sadness, and worry, among others. He visibly tensed and tried to school his features before responding.

“I- I would’ve told you” he was desperately searching for the right words “There just wasn’t a good moment, and I didn’t know if you…”

“No, no. Stop right there” you interrupted him, worried by the rambling “I didn’t mention that because I want an explanation or because it hurt me in any way” you met his gaze steadily “I only wanted you to know that I’ve been told. And that if you ever wanted to talk about it, I’m here” you tried your best to convey the support and love (?) into the long look you gave him.

“But… is-is this okay? Are you okay with that?” the doubt and genuine worry in his eyes made your heart clench painfully.

You wanted to hurt whoever made him question things like that.

“Of course it’s okay. You loved and lost him, and that’s the only thing I care about” tentatively, you reached out to take his hand again “It’s a vital part of your story, and I want to know you better” you smiled, seeing him relax slightly.

“Thank you… I’ll tell you one day, I promise” he brushed his thumb along your knuckles “But I think he’d like you”

You were not expecting that.

“Yeah?” you blushed slightly, suddenly flustered.

“He used to call me out on my bullshit too… and never fell for my charm too easily” he smiled fondly.

You liked the way pleasant memories seemed to light up his whole face.

“I can see some similarities then” you grinned shyly “To be fair, you need someone to keep you from getting too cocky” experimentally, you reached out to ruffle his hair.

If his blissful smile and the way he leaned into your touch were anything to go by, he did enjoy the gesture.

“I’m not sure I deserve you” he opened his eyes and looked at you with some kind of new emotion.

But before you could find any ways of answering that, he yawned. Once, then twice. The tiredness was finally catching up with him.

“Think you should try to get some sleep” upon his silent question, you added, “I’ll stay in case you need me”

For a second you wanted to offer that you will take the sofa, but somehow you knew that was not what he would have wanted. And neither did you if you were to be honest with yourself. So you just watched as he hesitantly started shifting on the bed, trying to find the most comfortable position. You switched off the forgotten tv and the lights and slowly laid down on the pillow. In the quiet, you could hear his shallow breaths. One look in his direction was enough to help you decide. You moved closer, closing the safety gap, and carefully placed your arm on his waist. After a beat, you curled up around him, with your head resting on his shoulder.

“Is this okay?” you asked, following the tense silence.

“Yeah… It’s just that I really don’t think I deserve any of this” you could hear the apprehension creeping back into his voice.

“You deserve much more” you pressed a small kiss to his neck “But let’s start with this. Good night, Neil”

“Good night…” he hesitated but then just exhaled, letting you hug him closer to your body.

*** The peace lasted only for the first two hours. After that, you were awoken by Neil tossing nervously. Before you could properly come to your senses, he let out a few soft whimpers. Shit. You shifted so that you were hovering over him and took a long look. His brow was furrowed, jaw clenched, and he was incredibly tense. Whatever nightmare he was having, it was escalating quickly. The next thing you knew, tears were falling down his cheeks, and he was mumbling something, sounding distressed. That was enough. You cupped his cheek, as softly as you could, and leaned in close:

“It’s just a dream” you kissed him on the forehead “Wake up love” you were not sure where the endearment came from.

You leaned back to see his eyes open in a blink. His gaze was unfocused, evidently still lost in the nightmarish world. Using the hand that was cupping his face, you brushed the stray hair away from his eyes. His breaths were fast yet shallow. Knowing the experience well, you immediately kicked into action.

“Neil, listen to me” you waited until his eyes locked with yours “It was just a dream. It’s all okay now” you placed your hand on his chest over the heart “You need to calm down”

“I can’t breathe” he choked out and sat up suddenly, nearly knocking you in the head.

“You’re panicking” you shifted so you could be sat in front of him.

The fact that you nearly climbed into his lap in the process had to be ignored for the time being. You took his hand in yours and placed it in the middle of your chest so he could feel the rising and falling with every breath you took. With your other hand, you tilted his chin so that he was forced to meet your gaze. His pupils were darkened by panic and adrenaline.

“Follow my breath” you made him match your breathing for a few cycles.

Once you heard his inhales and exhales elongate and level off, you let go of the hand you kept pressed to your chest. He kept it there for a moment longer, as though making sure you were really in front of him.

“I’m sorry” the heartbroken and tired look he gave you was enough to make your heart ache “You really shouldn’t have to deal with this mess”

“It was my conscious choice, and I would never leave you alone after something like this” you leaned in closer and pressed a small kiss to the corner of his mouth “Now, let’s try going back to sleep, shall we?”

This time he was holding on to you as though you were the only constant thing. With his arms around you and the warmth of his body, you could almost forget about the mess you both had to face in the morning. Before drifting off to sleep, you pondered his words again. More and more, you were sure that he got it the wrong way around. It was you who did not deserve someone like him. And you were afraid he would soon realise as much once the initial crush (or whatever it was) passed. But for now, you allowed yourself peace as you relaxed into his embrace and buried your face in his chest. If by some accident, the universe decided to be on your side, you would not complain.

*** In the morning, you were both awakened by Ives calling to make sure both of you were alive and awake. You had to blame the awkwardness that followed it on that very phone call. You only managed to shake it off when you sat down to the breakfast you brought from the canteen. You passed Neil coffee in silence, cursing your inability to hold a conversation after everything. But this time, he had some solutions. As your fingers brushed, he set down the coffee cup on the table and turned to you:

“I’m sorry about everything that I did and said yesterday” he glanced at your split lip “I wasn’t in control... and I don’t want you to be scared. I’d never do anything like that normally” he shifted nervously.

You knew an apology was coming, especially after seeing the way he looked at you ever since waking up. And while, admittedly, his behaviour worried you, you did not dare to think about how your ‘almost’ made you feel.

“I know, and I won’t judge you on how you acted last night” you put on your best smile, hoping to end the topic as quickly as possible.

But it was not meant to be as he clearly thought hard on what to say next. All you could do was wait and listen.

“I know that I crossed some lines” finally, he found the right words “And while I can’t deny that I was acting on my genuine desires…” he searched your eyes to make sure you understood “I won’t do that again because I respect your wishes to keep this strictly friendly”

Was this your imagination, or did he sound like he did not want to say that? If you were honest with yourself, that was not something you wanted to hear either. But now was most definitely not the time, so you just reached out to squeeze his knee reassuringly.

“Thank you, and don’t worry about it. We’re all good” he covered your hand with his and mirrored your smile.

Maybe all this confusion was worth it? After a short beat, you took your hand away and went back to breakfast. The silence was still there, but at least it was less awkward now. When you noticed him frown at the headache that was undoubtedly bothering him, you passed a painkiller. He smiled gratefully.

“So… when is my plane?” he asked after you both cleared the plates.

You could tell that he was dreading the trip. And it hurt to know that there was no way for you to help him.

“3 o’clock” you glanced at the watch “Which gives us about five hours to get you ready” you took in his sombre expression.

“I really don’t want to go” he met your gaze with emotionless eyes “It’s so fucking cruel to have me assist whoever the fuck that guy is when my best friend just killed himself. And I don’t even know why” the anger and hurt in his voice were somehow worse today.

Maybe it was because you could not blame it on his intoxication anymore.

“I know… And wish I had any answers, but I don’t know more than you do” you could only give him an apologetic half-smile “But I know that you have to be there to help… him”

Calling the younger version TP seemed somehow wrong. And you could only imagine how it must feel for Neil, on the eve of meeting that different version of his partner.

“He won’t even know who I am” there was a broken edge to his voice “How am I supposed to meet him and act as though he’s a stranger?”

“Alright, walk me through what you’ve been told, and I’ll try to help as best as I can”

“Sure you wouldn’t rather go back to sleep?” he eyed you sceptically “You must be tired, and it’s all my fault”

“Neil, stop” you have had enough of the self-depreciation “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I’m here for you” you took his hand in yours “And I wouldn’t rest anyway without knowing you’re well. So let’s go through the plan and then I’ll help you pack”

He only gaped at you with a dazed expression on his face. You wondered how someone so incredible could ever doubt their importance so much.

*** Surprisingly you managed to get Neil ready in time for the taxi departure. Together you planned the mission, made sure he had all the necessary information and contacts and was as mentally well as he could be after everything. When the time was near, Ives knocked on his door. This time, Neil let him in. You watched as the two men embraced tightly, sharing the trauma and sadness. Ives then took a step back and eyed Neil coolly.

“You did a good job” he flashed you a smile “He looks much better than I expected”

“Would you mind?” Neil looked at you nervously, and you laughed at the brief moment of lightness.

“Must say it wasn’t easy, but I did my best” to prove a point, you wandered over to Neil and smoothed his suit jacket.

After disagreeing over the wardrobe choices you managed to convince him to take a few linen suits and shirts for the warm weather in India. Now you were proud you succeeded. To be fair he looked good in anything, but there was something more intimate in the fact that you chose his outfits. But once again, you were brought to the present moment by Ives clearing his throat:

“The taxi is leaving in half-hour. I’ll leave you two now” he gave you a knowing smile and exited the room before you could roll your eyes at him.

Realising you still had your hand on Neil’s shoulder, you took a step back. He was watching you attentively with a small smile on his face. That probably explained Ives’ allusions…

“I won’t ask if you’re ready but… are you okay?” you met his gaze.

“As much as I can be, I suppose” he shrugged dejectedly “I really wish I could stay with you instead”

You saw his hand twitch at his side and decided to choose for him by taking it into yours, naturally entwining your fingers.

“Unfortunately, this time we can’t decide for ourselves. But remember that you can call me if you need help or just to talk. Don’t worry about the time zones, I’ll always pick up” you tried your best to show how you felt through the expression in your eyes.

But that was a dangerous game as soon enough you got lost in the blue of his eyes. As always.

“Thank you” he breathed out, looking at you with such tenderness that almost made you feel faint “Still don’t think I deserve you though” he grinned shyly.

“Oh you do, and I’ll keep on saying that till you believe it” you raised your joined hands to your lips and kissed his knuckles “While I enjoy this slightly subdued version of you…”

“What?” his affronted face made you laugh.

“You know very well what I meant” you smirked and let go of his hand, only to pull him in for an embrace.

It took him only a second to hug you back, with his arms wound tightly around your waist.

“You said we should hug more often so” you whispered into his ear and enjoyed the laugh it prompted “Hope this is good enough for you” you ran a hand down his back.

Then, upon a sudden thought, you pushed your hands underneath his suit jacket and splayed them on his back, relishing the feel of his skin through the shirt fabric. The only indication that he felt the difference was a sharp gasp he let out as he drew you even closer.

“More than that” he kissed the top of your head.

After at least two minutes more, you took a step back but still kept your hands on his waist.

“Please be safe out there. Don’t do anything stupid. And…” you shut his mouth with a hand upon seeing him protest “And don’t get too drunk before the meeting. I know that it will be hard, but that could only make you more likely to fuck up”

Before you could take your palm away, he placed a peck on your wrist, near the pulse point. The voice in the back of your head kept screaming about how this definitely was not something friends do. But you told it to kindly fuck off. At least for now.

“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try” he flashed you a signature smile as though you could ever forget it “After all, I’m not the one to behave” proving the point, he brushed the pad of his thumb along your lower lip.

You inhaled sharply at the sensation. Looking questioningly into his eyes, you wondered whether he remembered about the earlier promise. But there was no time to find that out as sharp knocks interrupted you. It was time.

#tenet #neil tenet #neil tenet x reader #neil x reader #neil tenet imagine #neil tenet fanfic #tenet fanfic #robert pattinson #the art of inversion

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asthmark · 4 years ago

Text

❝ walk you home ❞ l.dh

synopsis → “it’s just a suggestion but you could maybe put your lips on mine?”

request → “hi ive reading your works and honestly thank u for being a blog that doesn’t write smut. i feel like there are so few blogs like so. all your works make my heart feel fluffy and warm 😊 i was wondering if i could request a fluffy prompt kinda based off the nct dream song: walk you home with haechan? you have full creative freedom ❤️ thank u”

word count → 1.6k

you didn’t walk home often but when you did it always proved to be a peaceful and serene experience.

you take pleasure in the sound of the pavement beneath your feet as your legs carry you home and your hands hold on tightly to the straps of your backpack. the calm breeze blows some of your hair around and the sun’s rays shine down on you delightfully.

you decide it can’t get much better than this.

but, of course, you can’t have anything nice.

you realize this when you feel a pair of hands grasp your shoulders firmly resulting in you effectively jumping out of your skin with a loud shriek.

the culprit, none other than lee donghyuck, laughs as he watches you place your hands on your knees, trying to steady your racing heart.

“not funny, donghyuck!” you punch his arm to express your frustration. “you almost gave me a heart attack, for christ’s sake!”

he holds up his hands in defense. “okay, okay. i’m sorry. i was messing around, i thought it’d be funny.”

“oh right because sneaking up on a girl walking home alone and making her think she’s going to be kidnapped is just hilarious.”

“i really didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, genuinely. “i came here for a reason, i swear.”

you raise your brows, expectantly.

“i was just thinking i could maybe walk you home?”

you observe the way he tugs gently at the string of his hoodie, almost as if he were nervous. but why would he be nervous in front of you? you were just his best friend’s little sister.

“you want to walk with me?”

he nods in confirmation.

you play with your shirt collar, not entirely sure what to say. “that’s fine, i guess.”

with that, you continue on your route not even waiting for donghyuck who jogs to catch up to you. despite your houses being only a couple blocks away from each other, you and donghyuck had never walked anywhere together. at least, in your high school years.

when you were all much younger, him and your older brother mark would almost always walk to the bus stop together. your mother had you tag along with them and your tiny figure would often be seen trailing behind them, trying your best to keep up.

as you grew up, many things begun changing. most notably, the way you felt about donghyuck. before, all you had seen him as was mark’s obnoxious friend who pestered you relentlessly. but you had finally realized how cute and charming he truly was. you started to enjoy the way he teased you as long as it meant you had his attention. it wasn’t long before mark noticed your change in attitude and connected the dots. it was easy to say he was displeased. first of all, having you follow donghyuck all the time like a shadow proved to be very irritating. second of all, his best friend and his little sister together was something he didn’t want to even think about.

when he commented about your strange behavior to donghyuck, the boy had only said he didn’t mind it. in fact, he seemed to enjoy your little antics.

mark realized had no other choice but to take matters into his own hands. so, he sat you down one evening to have a chat with you and he certainly had no problem lying straight to your face.

“donghyuck hates you,” he had said.

you had stopped stroking your dolls hair to stare at him with eyes as big as saucers. “w-what?”

“yeah. he told me. he thinks you’re super annoying.”

and just like that, your little heart had been broken. you remember crying for hours that day and begging your mom to drive you to school so you wouldn’t have to face donghyuck in the mornings. mark even suggested that you avoid him at school too so that he wouldn’t find you anymore unpleasant than he already did. you obeyed and soon enough your trio had broken up.

ever since then, you had stayed in your own lane away from lee donghyuck who, according to your older brother, could not stand you.

“so... what’s up with you? i feel like it’s been so long since we caught up.”

you sigh, kicking at a pebble on the sidewalk. “i’m pretty okay.”

he waits, expecting you to add on. he clears his throat awkwardly when he realizes you’re not going to. you had been so talkative during your childhood, what happened? “oh, that’s good.”

for the sake of clearing the tension, you force yourself to ask him how he’s doing. “what about you?”

his face brightens up. “i’m doing good! well, grade-wise no. actually, maybe? i have straight c’s which is technically passing but not super good, you know? but other than, i‘m not bad. i finally tried out for a basketball team. remember how when we were younger i always wanted to play but they told me i was too short?”

“i remember a lot of things from when we were younger,” you mumble, bitterly.

he continues, dismissing your comment. “yeah well, i finally grew! i’m actually three inches taller than the average male. isn’t that crazy?”

you’re not entirely sure how to respond so that you just nod and try to give him the most sincere smile you can muster. “good for you.”

“hey, didn’t you want to take art classes when we were kids? but your parents made you do ballet instead?”

you hesitate as the memory registers in your brain. “yeah. i did, actually.”

donghyuck chuckles. “you were so mad. and then you ended up not even taking it. i’m pretty sure it was because you threw a huge tantrum outside your house.”

you titter at the embarrassing memory. “i totally forgot about that. you must have a crazy good memory.”

he shrugs. “kind of. but i think my favorite one has to be when you tried sneaking out of your bedroom window but you fell and ended up with a fractured ankle.”

your eyes dart to him. “oh my god, how do you know that? did mark tell you? because i swear if he did i’m gonna—”

“it wasn’t him.”

“then who was it?”

he suddenly becomes shy. “i, um, heard you telling your friends about it.”

“you were eavesdropping?”

he fiddles with his earring, nervously. “i guess. but i swear it wasn’t to be creepy—”

“sounds pretty creepy to me, donghyuck.”

he sighs in defeat. “i just wanted to hear your voice.”

you stumble over nothing. “i’m sorry, what?”

“you’re never around me anymore,” he says, sounding hurt. “i know you’re avoiding me. and i don’t know why. but i still try to be close to you without upsetting you. i try to meet your eyes when you pass by in the hallway, i try to go by your house as much as i can so i can catch a glimpse of you. but it never works.”

ever since mark had told you how donghyuck felt about you, you swore to yourself you would stop caring about him. although, at this moment, you can’t help but feel slightly guilty. you try to come to your senses.

“i thought i was annoying,” you mumble.

he squints his eyes. “what? who said that?”

you stop dead in your tracks. “you’re kidding right? you did! you said i was annoying and that you hated me.”

he stares off into the distance, trying to concentrate. “i really don’t remember saying that to you.”

“you didn’t. you told mark. mark told me. i never forgot it.”

“okay, i definitely didn’t say anything like that to mark. the only thing i remember telling him was—“ he stops, abruptly.

you press further. “what did you tell him, donghyuck?”

“that i had a crush on you.”

it takes you a moment to process the words that come out of his mouth. “are you messing with me?”

he scowls. “no! it took a lot of guts, i remember being so nervous to tell him. i thought he would tell you for me but i guess he said the complete opposite.”

strangely enough, you believe him. you decide to confess too. “well... i had a crush on you too.”

now it’s his turn to be stunned into silence. “seriously?”

“yes! i thought it was so obvious.”

“i would have never known.” he runs a hand through his hair. “just imagine what would have happened if mark had told either of us how the other felt. why do you think he lied about all that stuff, anyway?”

“knowing him, he couldn’t stand the thought of his little sister and best friend liking each other so he tried to keep us apart by lying and hoping we’d just forget about each other or something. what an idiot.”

“jokes on him if he thinks i would forget you. we might’ve been like 12 but i was ready to commit.”

you chuckle. “and how about now? still willing to?”

he smiles, pearly whites on display. “always.”

##bonus:

you stop at the front steps of your house, turning to donghyuck and grinning from ear to ear. “well, thanks for walking with me. i’m glad we finally got things sorted out.”

he nods. “i’ve missed you.”

you bite your lip. “i’ve missed you, too.”

he ruffles your hair. “you’re still super adorable, by the way.”

“and you’re still super—“ you run your fingers over the smooth skin of his cheeks before squeezing them. “annoying.”

he pouts. “that was mean.”

you place your hands on his shoulders. “sorry, cutie. i couldn’t help it.”

“make it up to me?”

“and how would i do that?”

“it’s just a suggestion but you could maybe put your lips on mine?”

you smile, more than happy to follow through with his instructions. as you lean in, you feel your inner little girl get the best of you. your heart speeds up and you hold your clammy hands together tightly behind his head.

“what is going on here?!”

you both jump back from each other to face mark standing in the doorway of your house. he wastes no time dashing down the stairs, coming straight for the brunette beside you.

“lee donghyuck, i’m going to strangle you!”

at hearing the pure anger in mark’s voice, donghyuck’s face drops. he presses a quick kiss to your lips. you don’t even have time to feel any form of surprise because before you can even register what was happening, he’s making a run for it with mark right behind him.

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