#this is why I draw instead of write you guys
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To: Balsam (HorrorFell sans)
Can I please kiss you?! I'm such a huge fan of you!! -Kayla Shea the human.
Bal couldn't help blush at your words. While he was surprised and, deep down, appreciative of your attention, he wasn't sure if he had the confidence to return the gesture you sought from him as easily as you asked. Kindness and affection weren't common practice in his underground, and the hunger problems didn't help. He was still learning how to accept it himself, but he's had some time to adjust.
However, he wasn't a skeleton to disappoint if he could manage at least something for you.
He cleared his throat as he hid his flustered state. He bent over at the waist, bringing himself closer to your height as he lifted his hand to his teeth. He eye light blinked out of sight for a moment, before returning to gaze at you. He moved his gloved fingers from his teeth, gently pressing them to your cheek without breaking eye contact with you.
...
"Kiss."
...
He hoped that you weren't discouraged by his attempt, but perhaps this could be a chance he got to know you better going forward, too. Maybe take you out to lunch one day, if you'd like. He was always hungry, after all.
#balsam sans talks#yes#he did say âkissâ out loud#poor guy tried his best#you wouldn't know#but he was most likely more flustered than he could of shown.#he struggles with showing affection#but he is trying his best#I have been struggling to find motivation to draw lately#but then again ive been busy#but i thought âwhy not write insteadâ#though it would be cool to sorta delve into Balsam this way#Should I continue doing it though? I do like writing...#balsam sans#horrorfell sans#cay talks
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BNHA Ch. 429
So, I guess Toga is dead, and people are losing it.
I get why people liked her--she was actually queer, being pan/bisexual. She was representation for them and that's rare in shonen manga. But here's the thing--she was bad representation at best and insulting at worst. Nor do I think she was made queer because Hori really wanted to represent a queer girl. Himiko was always the author's poorly hidden fetish--she just was. She liked girls as much as boys because Hori wanted to draw a girl touching sexually on another girl. You can see this in how he draws her and Ochako in solo pics together.
I mean, people seem to understand this when it comes to Momo and her outfit being overly sexual or that both Himiko and Hagakure's Quirks either leave them naked or they have to be naked to use them. These are excuses to draw girls in a sexual manner. Himiko being into other girls is the same thing and that's the kindest interpretation.
Given how Himiko acts and her Quirk being heavily coded sexual desire, and therefore her use of it against someone unwilling being sexual assault, it could just being playing into harmful stereotypes of predatory gays.
As a queer person myself I just found Toga insulting. She was designed to be overly sexual and give the male author a female character that he could draw being suggestive with his other female characters. When he did flesh out her character, her backstory was eventually the trope/fear of straight people, that gay people will be so overcome with their lust that they end up sexually assaulting them.
In the end Ochako accepts this part of Toga and says she'll giver her blood forever, but as much as a lot of readers took that that as some deep lesbian confession, for me it really fell flat. Hori never really gave any of the main kids time to actually learn about their villain or show how that changed their minds toward them. Shoto only works because Touya is his brother (even though he admits he barely remembers him). But Ochako goes from not thinking of Toga at all pre-first war, to one thought about her during her speech, to suddenly caring about her so much she--given how Toga's quirk is coded, is willing to essentially fulfill Toga's kink for the rest of their lives.
It's weird and it comes out of nowhere. It's made even stranger because Toga doesn't actually change or show remorse for anything she did, which included personally hunting and murdering people before she joined the LOV. None of the death and destruction she is also partially responsible for is brought up either, something that Ochako was rightfully upset about during the first war when less people and property had been destroyed. Ochako just accepts everything about her suddenly and her past serious crimes are forgotten so they can cuddle and cry.
Am I shocked Toga died--a little. I didn't think Hori would have the guts to kill off a young girl character, especially one that he clearly got a lot of joy drawing in sexy poses. But at the same time, once he killed off Shigaraki and ended Touya's story with his slow death, I'm not surprised he went the same route with Toga.
This isn't Naruto--Hori isn't really kind to characters that do something wrong, especially if they don't try and change. Enji, Bakugo, Hawks, and Aoyama all sort of got punished for what they did. Enji is the worst off, being permanently crippled, missing an arm and burned everywhere. Bakugo's hand is damaged, his heart weaker, plus he feels bad that Izuku lost his Quirk so they can't compete the same way he wanted them to. Aoyama, despite doing way less wrong and even helping his class during the forest raid, still leaves school because he doesn't feel he earned being there yet. Hawks lost his Quirk and even though him running the HPSC could be seen as good for him, Hawks always wanted a break, but now he has one of the most time consuming and stressful jobs out there.
So, if this is what characters who actively did good things and even changed and fought to be better get, what would characters who never changed and never did anything positive for anyone but their friends/themselves get?
Before the last Arc started, when so many people said the LoV were 100% going to be redeemed I had doubts and always thought it wouldn't make sense with how the story presented redemption or treated other non-LoV villains in the past. That if the main LoV did get some happy ending where they were bffs with the main cast it would clash with how other characters had been treated.
That doesn't mean that I think how Shigaraki, Toga, and Touya ended up in the manga was well done. I think their endings fit far better then a last minute redemption would have, but at the same time you can feel how rushed everything has been since the end of the first war arc. Hori was done with this story months if not years ago, yet he was contractually obligated to finish it. Because of that I think he left out as much as possible. As much as I think he's written some pretty obsessive stuff, particularly towards women, I can't really fully blame him cutting corners or the story being shit at the end.
We know Manga authors, particularly those that work with Jump are treated like shit. That they suffer incredibly long hours at times not even getting to go home for days. We've gotten messages for Hori saying he's sick quite a few times. On top of that, weekly story telling is not a great way to tell a cohesive narrative. Ideas probably change week to week or at least month to month and you can't go back and change the last chapter no matter how much you need or want to. Then you remember he also gave a lot of ideas to the people who made the movies, which would also change his plans for how he wanted the main story to go.
The story is bad--it has been for a while, but I think a lot of people put their hopes on their favorite characters getting a happy ending, even when there were signs that probably wasn't going to be the case. I know how much it sucks when a character you love gets a shitty ending (Stain was my fav, but he got an absolute dogshit ending) but at least, knowing what I know about the industry I can't really blame Hori the way I see some other people doing. Criticize it, sure, but saying Hori hates his readers or is horrible writer isn't true. BNHA was popular for a reason--he's great with characters and the beginning of the story had some great pacing. We'll never know, but I wouldn't be surprised if BNHA could have been amazing if Hori had been treated better and the story hadn't needed a chapter every week.
If anything BNHA has taught me how much a story suffers when authors/artists are treated like crap and forced to work past burnout.
#bnha 429#bnha spoilers#bnha critical#bnha#idk i just feel bad for the guy#i think he's sexist as shit#but no one deserves to work under such bad conditions#and frankly idk how any weekly story turns out any good#especially when its gone on for so many years#like when you think about it the chapters aren't even real full chapters#they're like half or even a quarter of a chapter that you'd find in a book or monthly manga#of course you're your going to have an incoherent story when you write like that#I mean the only other thing written like that are some fanfictions#and those authors can and often do go back and edit things#heck I've seen some that go on hiatus with the specific purpose of overhauling the entire backlog of chapters to make it a better overall#and I think part of why BNHA is perhaps worse then other weekly shonen is because he had a lot he wanted to say#on top of trying to find things that kept him invested in a story he clearly was tired of writing#I mean Lady Nagnat is great example#he watched a movie and thought the female assassin character was cool and it got him excited to draw/write#so he shoehorned in this character that was really only there because she made the story more fun for him to write and draw for a while#like American comics aren't great either when it comes to consistency or coherent plots sometimes#but I do wonder if BNHA might have been better if Hori could have left a story bible and basic outlines of what his plans were#and then someone else could have worked on it instead#because he really didn't seem very into by the end of the first war arc#like I think he wished that had been the end#but it wasn't and he was really tired and burned out#and probably already working on fumes
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DQB2ber Week 1 - Sports / Inktober Day 03 - Ace Spiker Malroth
I more used his working design than his final design, since it was closer to the hairstyle I was going for (read: I wasnât sure how to draw his âhornsâ with the headband since theyâre just too short to go into a high ponytail)
#dragon quest#dqb2 malroth#dq#dqb2#inktober 2024#dqb2ber2024#ebw.op#drawing#pen#gel pen#and then i gave him earrings instead of the necklace since i feel like studs would be fine to wear during a game?#but really it's just bc i like giving guys earrings lmao#and you can just make out that his jersey number is 4 since that's often used as the ace number#i started writing a vball fic where he's a right wing spiker and builder is a setter today#so i figured well why not draw it#also i should buy a volleyball to use for reference#i used a crocheted pumpkin that i hoped was close enough in sizeâŠ
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Atla live action đ
#thats my honest reaction đ#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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Hate having adhd went to go work on my fallout modpack, got distracted while going to disable the steam overlay, ended up in the points shop, went to go edit my profile, decided to change my pfp, found a buried folder I forgot existed, found some old Veneer art I forgot existed, spent 45 minutes looking at all the old photos, STILL HAVE NOT TOGGLED ONE SIMPLE OPTION THAT SHOULD'VE TAKEN 30 SECONDS AT MOST
#I'm shocked I have these drawings scanned on my pc I don't remember doing that I must've done it before I left in case my mom threw all my#Art out again#Anyway at age 12 I was writing a better '3 merpeople go on land to find a 4th one that has been disguised as a human all his life' story#Than Ma/ko Merm/aids EVER did so uh. Take that Jonathan#God it sucks so bad that kid me would've LOVED MM if it just DIDN'T HAVE THE STUPID GENDER WAR BULLSHIT#Literally the entire first and second season is just. So fucking stupid. I wrote a God damn essay about how they fumbled Erik's story SO BAD#I don't even LIKE Erik BUT THEY DID HIM SO DIRTY#THE CHARACTER POTENTIAL AND WRITING COULD'VE BEEN BETTER THAN ZANE B. S1 OF H2O BUT THEY THREW IT AWAY AND FOR WHAT!!!!!!!#Seriously you're telling me a kid who was abandoned his entire life for being male didn't have a bigger impact on the pod than FUCKING ZAK?#That plot twist of 'oh actually Zak was a merman all along' was 100% so they could guilt free write Erik out#Instead of like. Having him face his actions or redeem himself in like. Any way. He just fucks off. THEN the pod is like lol Zac were sorry#We're sorry for literally not doing anything to you because you were privledged enough to have a mother who was super ultra powerful#So you were never really affected by our actions until JUST now. Unlike that other fuckface Erik who suffered his whole life alone#Also then in s3 there are STILL no mermen in the pod. Not even little mermen babies. No kids and teens they've welcomed back n apologized to#NOTHING#God. Mm pisses me off dude#AND I STILL HAVENT TOGGLED THAT FUCKING OPTIONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#Cruddy rambles#God I'm not done I'm sorry fallout can wait YOU ARE TELLING ME THE GUY WHO TELLS US HOW SHITTY MERMAN BABIES R TREATED BY THE POD. IS NOT#THE SAME ONE THE POD APOLOGIZES TO IN THE SEASON FINALE BECAUSE THEY WROTE IN A SHITTY PLOT TWIST?#AUUUUUUUHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG#It's so bad. It's so fucking bad. It's so needlessly gendered and for what. They could've just had 2 rival warring pods#What pisses me off the most is that s3 (4) completely pivots and never really follows thru with the s1 and 2 story arcs#The writers just kinda wash thsir hands of that because 'hey the pod said sorry to zac' BUT THEN NOTHING ACTUALLY CHANGES!!!!#Maybe instead of having a constantly rotating cast of characters s3 (4) could've instead focused on Ondina and Erik's relationship a bit#Maybe have Ondina tell him she wants to just stay friends because she can't trust him. Have him IDK grow and change as a character?#Maybe so you can show kids nobody is born evil and we all need support systems and healthy relationships to grow and become better people??#THAT would've been a GOOD FOLLOW THROUGH#But no instead u just write him out of the show and never show any OTHER mermen who were exiled being welcomed back#Like u had Ondina becoming a teacher... Why not have Zac become a teacher for all the new mermen who were just recently welcomed back??
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my ocs are so dear to me and theyâre also so super duper silly
#i loved simplifying them down to just shapes#i donât usually draw like this but i rly enjoyed this#but maybe iâm also just enjoying not doing the work i need to be doing instead#ash and finn#doodle#emptymilk draws#i also love how i caption them ash and finn everytime like babes you know who they are why do you write their names#but itâs so silly#iâve also just realised how little of them i post so like you guys donât actually know how theyâre supposed to look just when i draw them#silly goofy looking#rather than fr fr#but yolo
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ngl i think i kind of was a genius for being like 'yeah this character is a scary killyou cannibal scary killer who scary kills you' and then realizing that the way my worldbuilding works out is that there's a nonzero chance that if you leave literally any body parts over they can just come back, depending on what they believe in their heart of hearts can kill them. Of course she'd start eating her kills. She probably tried normal stuff first and then realized it didn't work and she had to try harder if she wanted to actually keep them dead.
#red rambles#im working on a character who i made up years and years ago and wasnt even happy with then because he didnt seem to have enough like#interior thoughts he was just like a guy who killed people when he was stressed and his life was constantly stressful and then he killed on#person too many and they were like 'this is fucking untenable and he has to die' and then they killed him#which is soooooooooo absolutely nothing honestly. Like it works as a barebones summary but i want to stress there was actually straight up#nothing else there. the entire rest of his whole whatnot was just being entangled with Haven who is a different character who at the time#ALSO felt unsatisfyingly lacking in interiority but at lesat he had really complex motivations and action flowcharts. that werent just 'i#get grumpy and i just go kill some random person with no regard for what the consequences will be and then i am so mean and i kill you'#now theres a lot more happening. i really didnt. like.#okay so i had a Backstory worked out but it was vague because i didnt know what the fuck he WANTEDDDDDDD right like. i had no motivations a#literally all except 'oohhh i kill people ooohhh i like killing people ooohhh im erratic i kill people' and the background i HAD was like.#Upper class scion of some rich family whose family honest to god just did not like him very much and also [gestures vaguely] i guess he#maybe kicked dogs or something and then he ??nebulous timeline meets haven and then kills his sister or kills his sister and very quickly#thereafter meets haven but i usually lean toward the former because haven LOVES convincing people to kill their whole families its like#cathartic for him because he would love to kill his entire family but physically cannot do it. but like kind of the implications of this#as far as i was concerned given this is set in the mid 1800s was like. ehhh he's getting away with this because he's rich white and male an#it pays to turn a blind eye to his indiscretions or w/e. a genderswap means that she'd be subject to a lot more scrutiny on basis of like#misogyny. LOL. and i already had the preexisting 'hates half sibling' (i genderswapped the sister into a brother because why not) and 'hate#parents' and 'parents strongly dislike her' and 'unsettling' and it worked nicely to start giving me actual fucking. Literally anything to#work with there. because it means that by going off with Haven she walks out of one situation where she has like 0 agency into another one#and like to be clear i respect anyone who is sitting around in haven's general vicinity for snapping and just starting to kill people. me t#but this works. SOOOOOOOOOO much better for real#im still working the kinks out but like also this means that she wins. she wins like multiple times actually. she comes closer to killing#haven than anyone since he learned what fucking species he was and causes him more trouble in the interest of getting the FUCK out of there#than anyone else has and then she fucking gets what she was going for against literally every effort haven could've made over ~five decades#get owned loser.#every time i draw her i cant help it i write some shit like PLEASE JUST GET DIVORCED on it even though i wrote the fucking narrative i know#it will never fucking happen and thats why she does all this shit instead#in another world she'd be like the wildly capable owner of Raytheon 2 or some other shit like that. like she'd never be a nice or good#person but she wouldn't be dead. god she could be in charge of a country or some shit. Alas. Please get divorced.
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Spork is objectively one of my funniest ocs purely because of the sheer amount of wild statements i can make about her that are just facts.
Like oh, "spork once had to learn the true meaning of christmas" "spork has hacked into the epf database on multiple occasions with ease (see: field ops)" "spork never went to high school" "spork has had medieval-style sword training" "spork has piloted a mech before, and also knows how to use a ray-gun (see: future party)" "spork went trick or treating for the first time at the age of 17" "spork has almost died at least once" "spork has eaten flowers before, multiple times" "spork once prevented an entire island from sinking into the ocean (see: herbert's revenge)" "spork doesn't know what an orangutan is"
I could have gone on but just, like. What the fuck man. Most character of all time. She came outta my brain all funky. Shes so normal and yet so weird. And lets not forget about the drip. The striped tied with a hoodie and bunny slippers. And lets not forget about the 3d glasses that might as well be welded on at this point. Does she even have eyes behind them? Who knows. So extremely character.
#seb speaks#swearing#oc: spork#''hey seb why did you write them like that'' i don't know!!!! there's no going back now though.#this is like that one post about ste/ven univ/erse lmao i dont feel like looking for it rn but the one that ends like 'and hes bisexual.'#yeah that post.#amyways its past midnight here and i should be drawing but instead im sitting here going insane! how are you guys doing? :)#ask to tag.
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I find this funny in so many ways. Mostly because I have a business degree and I promise you that learning macro and micro economics definitely taught me a lot about how fucked up things are in the world.
the universal college experience, no matter your major, is learning how remarkably fucked everything is. except business majors theyre having a great time learning to do basic arithmetic and and staring at screen that one supply and demand graph where the line goes up
#also that's the most boring graph when it comes to economics#always remember my macroeconomics professor saying it's just not an economics lecture without a graph while cheerfully drawing curves#he was a great guy#had him for an all day saturday class#first day of class he said âwe're going to start every other class at 9am going forward instead of 8amâ#âI live an hour and a half awayâ#âI want to sleep in because I'm old and you want to sleep in because you probably partied last nightâ#one of these days I'm going to do that write up of why I think business degrees aren't necessarily useless/only for dudebros
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#Mentally scrolling through my pairings#WHEEL! OF! GETTING THIS SHIT TAKEN OUT ON YOU!#Like roll up roll up#Ok I can't draw but it's a big wheel of fortune wheel#and it's got pictures of all the different guys#And they're all posed like 'aaah no not me pls#Idk it's funny in my head#'mb write about those guys instead I mean Ernie's fine but I hate sharing a brain with Bert'#'Well honey Bert is annoying to share a brain with but Ernie does set him off like you can't put all the blame on Bert'#'Unbelievable. Do you want it to end up with her writing us us!? Bc this. This right here is how it ends up being us do you want that!?'#'Riiiiight because EVERYTHING that goes wrong is always my fault'#'I think we should have this talk in private'#'Why did she have to watch us my entire existence is a nightmare'
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So in an effort to commit to sharing my strange/bland/cliche au/fanfic ideas on this here Tumblr, Iâd like to start off with a humble fanfic au Iâm currently rotating in my head since I first saw Winterâs Tale (2014) not twelve hours ago.
Peter Lake: Worldâs Oddest Guardian Angel
This man does not remember his own name. He does not know how he got here and he doesnât know why everything seems so much more⊠different. Bigger. Louder. Brighter. He has given up on naming himself, instead choosing to spend his days redrawing the same picture, in chalk, every day in the middle of Central Park.
This man, this man, who steals and stutters and has an Irish accent and long hair and canât remember more than a few days ago, who has been alone for more time then heâs been around people, who alternates between suit jacket and old hoodies without reason, whoâs a little rusty at charming but is picking up what youâre putting downâŠ
This is the Guardian Angel of one Abby Gamely.
#apologies to all the book ppl I havenât read it yet but itâs on the list <3#But yeah anyway this follows the first half of the movie#But then diverges after Bev dies#Bevâs miracle turns him into the Abbyâs Guardian Angel#So he spends a lot of decades wandering around trying to figure out why heâs still here with amnesia#He meets Abby earlier on#Before the cancer#Just a guy who draws with her in the park#And then after the rest of the movie#Instead of becoming a star#He serves as Abbyâs guardian angel until she dies#Let the fluffy shenanigans ensue#Might end up writing it after I watch the movie again or after I read the book#But for right now Iâll just throw out the idea to the world#Feel free to use it or change it or whatever#Just make sure to reblog and let me know where I can find it ha ha!!!#Seriously this is such a small fandom that I stumbled on#halp#just yelling into the void#winterâs tale#fanfic idea#is this how you headcanon/fanfic/au???
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Sorry but Iâm not getting over the person who basically implied that headcanoning Jimmy as taller than Tango is thinly veiled rpf and theyâre not REALLY separating cc from character. Like WHAT are you cooking
#sometimes I look to CCs heights for my headcanons cuz I donât have any ideas for my own but HUH? also idk either of their heights#like for all I know Tango is taller. that would make their post way funnier tbh. but Iâm gonna assume Jimmyâs taller irl based on their post#but like brother who cares if ppl take real life aspects that arenât present in mc for their headcanons.#sometimes itâs just cuz itâs a trait you think would suit the character or cuz u wish more characters had that trait. itâs not usually cuz#ur trying to turn them into the CC lol.#aside from actual reasons I disagree with them WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT. âYOU HEADCANON JIMMY IS TALL? SUSPICIOUS.â#bro pulled the âcanonically they are both 2 blocks tallâ and everything đ#I only headcanon Jimmy is taller cuz I saw other fans doing it and went âthat suits the characterâ so I adopted it. idk his height irl.#and then itâs like assuming my height headcanons DO prove that Iâm doing Jimmy rpf. am I NOT doing JOEL rpf cuz I make him rlly short?#why am I doing half rpf half fictional characters? thats kind of odd.#shipping cc!Jimmy with c!Joel lol. unironically would read that tho imagine. wouldnât write it tho I could never write rpf. anyways#anyways the point is. sometimes fans use the CCs as a point of reference for designs. that doesnât mean itâs thinly veiled rpf. we need#sources of inspiration and sometimes that comes from the actors. why is that suspicious.#if theyâre straight up drawing the real life guy with no mc skin elements then it is more likely about the cc instead of c but theyâre not#even talking about that bro literally referred to them as a blaze and canary and STILL said the height was suspicious LOL#sorry for vagueing (literally donât know their url despite reading the post over and over) and donât want them to see this cuz I donât wanna#potentially be mean like if that makes them uncomfortable and is a red flag then⊠ok thatâs your problem. I wonât force u to change ur views
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â â° đđđđ đđđđ đđđ đđđđ đđđđ đđđđ.
â synopsis: đđđđ đđđđđđ, the popular guy in your class, chooses to sit next to you, of all people. you've fallen head over heels, what happens next?
â warnings: highschool au! angst, fluff in the beginning, will not be writing a part 2, swearing, gaslighting, betrayal, just a bet troupe, gojo being a dick or everybody generally, 3.4k words!
â a/n: not my proudest work to be honest :( also tried another formatting lmk if u liked it! comments and reblogs r very much appreciated i will love u forever
"yo. can i sit here?" gojo satoru grins, effortlessly sliding into the empty seat next to you and making himself at home.
...huh? isn't that the popular guy who's usually surrounded by his friends? he's constantly the subject of admiration among the girls in your class, eliciting swoons and whispers of infatuation wherever he goes. confusion creeps in as you wonder why he didn't choose the empty seat next to suguru. there's no conceivable reason for someone like gojo, popular and charismatic, to opt for the seat beside you. you feel a sense of self-consciousness settling in.
nevertheless, you nod softly, though you're well aware the question was more of a rhetorical one. he's fashionably late, by twenty minutes, to be precise, unabashedly ignoring the scolding glares from your teacher about punctuality. instead, he buries himself in the deep blue plastic seat, sticking his tongue out when the teacher turns his back, letting out a huffy pout from the lecture.
nervously, you glance up from your notebook, cautiously stealing a peek at your new desk buddy. he's prettyâ real pretty, snowy white lashes adorning his pretty cerulean spheres, dainty fingers idly spinning a pencil out of sheer boredom. and as if kissed by the blush of a gentle sunrise, his lips possess a natural rosy hue, smooth and plump, belong to him like a delicate work of art. you wonder just how many kisses they've stolen. caught in a moment of admiration, you find yourself staring a tad longer than socially acceptable.
his eyes flicker, locking onto yours, and the realization hits youâoh, he caught you staring. shit. immediately, you break eye contact as you cough awkwardly. you swiftly attempt to play it off, pretending as if you were engrossed in examining the intricate texture of your silver-grey desk instead. your cheeks burn with embarrassment, and you hope he hasn't interpreted your lingering gaze as anything more than idle curiosity.
...should you say something? try to deny you were very clearly eye fucking him? he probably thinks you're a freak now. perhaps he sat next to you out of pity, and now he regrets it. out of sheer embarrassment, the words die in your mouth before they could ever leave, keeping your gaze glued to the floor as you refuse to acknowledge that his presence ever existed.
however, it appears that gojo won't let you suffer the embarrassment in peace. when your stern teacher turns away, he subtly slides a ripped edge of his blue-lined paper towards you, bearing a simple 'hi :)'. he's attempting a conversation, a surprising but welcome distraction from the awkwardness of being caught staring. an opportunity to salvage a bit of your dignity. now, the challenge lies in crafting a response that strikes the right balance.
would 'hey' sound too dry? but 'heyyyy' makes it seem like you're a little too interested. you opt for a casual 'heyy' with your black pen, scribbling the reply with extra caution to avoid prying eyes. as soon as the teacher is out of view, you subtly slip the note back to gojo. his lips curl into a slight smile upon reading your response.
two minutes pass by before you get a response. 'do you get this lesson? i'm soo lost..' accompanied by a small doodle of a crying suguru. you can't help but stifle a giggle; the drawing is poorly done, yet undeniably cute. the teacher swiftly turns around at the sound, prompting both of you to scramble and make it look like you're diligently focused on the lesson. the suspicious gaze lingers for a moment before the teacher returns to the whiteboard.
'maybe it's cause you missed like, half of the lesson.' you write back. he rolls his eyes playfully upon reading your retort, swiftly countering with a pout. "it's not my fault this class is so boring.'
'who said philosophy was supposed to be fun?' you reply. in response, gojo eagerly accepts the note, maintaining the subtle exchange of eye contact. 'hey, be nice to mr. aristotle, he's a great guy :(' he sends back. and thirty minutes seem to pass in the blink of an eye.
the bell chimes, signaling the end of the philosophy session and the need to transition to your next course. reluctantly, you stow your textbook in your bag, feeling a twinge of sadness at the realization that this amusing interaction might have been a one-time occurrence.
it's been a while since you've genuinely laughed. so when his ocean blue eyes latch onto yours with a genuine sense of hope, you quickly fold when he asks you if you're interested in sitting with him again tomorrow.
in those thirty short minutes, you learn three things about gojo satoru. firstly, you realize you've sorely misjudged him. he's not just another nepo-baby cheating his way through school; he's actually quite smart, smarter than he lets on. he's especially good in biochemistry, and he promises to help you study next time.
secondly, you discover that he loves sweets, just as you do. you both agree that kikufuku mochi is better than strawberry dango, and he even tells you about his favorite shop. maybe you can go together sometime.
and thirdly, he doesn't tell you this outright, but you learn that gojo is insecure. what strikes you the most is the glimpse of uncertainty you catch beneath his confident exterior. it's not about his looks or intelligence, but it's actually about his relationship with suguru. he's afraid to lose him, a fear that seems to drive him more than anything else. he overcompensates for his self-doubt. but you find that his flaws make him all the more pretty.
it's peculiar, the speed at which gojo somehow effortlessly integrates into your daily life. how he's feeling is how you're feeling, which is usually reflected on his friendship with suguru. if they had a fight, he'd be sad, and if everything was alright, he was too. but either way was okay with you, you just want to be there for him. what was once a dreaded fourth period now stands as the radiant highlight of your entire day.
despite the limited instances of verbal communication âperhaps a mere once or twiceâ the inexplicable truth remains: you've fallen head over heels for him. the simple act of passing notes with satoru becomes more than a routine; it evolves into the sole force that awakens you in the morning, the singular thought that propels you forward and keeps you going throughout the day.
and just maybe, the hopeless romantic within you fervently clings to the belief that his sentiments go beyond mere friendship. his actions seem to carry an extra layer of care, an attentiveness that extends beyond your platonic friendship. he notices the little things that escape the notice of others. it wasn't lost on him when you shed tears the other night due to the weight of stress; he went out of his way to procure your favorite candy bar, a sweet gesture aimed at brightening your spirits.
he took notice of your new haircut, expressing in a note that it frames your face nicely. he had comforted you when a classmate aimed a subtle insult your way, he wrote that the words of someone whose foundation didn't match their face shouldn't hold much weight. he even made an effort to be punctual for class, all to engage in the shared exchange of silly notes with you. and honestly, even if he didn't like you back, you'd be fine.
because your heart swells with gratefulness at the fact that he chose to sit with you. he wanted to be your friend even when nobody else did. you trusted and loved him with your whole heart, because that's what you believed he deserved.
so imagine your surprise when you overhear his conversation with suguru that day.
"just a day more, then you win the bet." geto groans, tossing his head back in exasperation. the two of them linger in the now-empty classroom, the echoes of other students long gone.
"yep, twenty four hours, then you owe me three hundred dollars." satoru sings, playfully nudging his best friend's shoulder. he's all sunshine and smiles, swinging his feet from the desk he's currently sitting on.
"and it wasn't even that hard. i just had to get 'em to fall for me." suguru rolls his eyes. "dude, if i was you, i would've tapped out the first week. how'd you manage to do it?" he huffs, clearly annoyed at the impending financial loss.
satoru mischievously grins. "just used my charm." he fluffs his hair with a smug expression on his face. "can't believe it worked so fast, though. they must be real desperate for someone's attention. all it took was for you to fuckin' pretend like you cared." suguru grouches, being a sore loser. you don't hear the rest, the notebook you had lost long forgotten.
a lump forms in your throat, a sensation of dread creeping up on you. you desperately want to believe he's not talking about you, but you can't shake the realization that to him, you were nothing more than a pawn in a betâ a tool used for his amusement. you're overwhelmed by a sense of stupidity, a painful realization sinking in, drowning every rational thought.
he never cared. you could fall dead at this moment and he wouldn't even spare you a glance. you should've known. why would he? you feel stupid for allowing him entry into your life, stupid for naively believing in his sincerity, and stupid for daring to love a heartless jerk who played with the fragile strings of your heart.
they're right. you are pathetic. you just blindly fell for the first person who gave, or rather, pretended to give a shit. a relentless ache throbs in your chest as you stubbornly refuse to succumb to tears over a boyâ a resolution crumbling like fragile glass. despite your stubborn determination, an uncontrollable torrent of hot tears streams down your face, distorting the world into a watery blur.
the desperate yearning for someone to choose you, to envelop you in unconditional and pure love, had fueled your hopes. and for a fleeting moment, you believed you'd found it, only to witness your heart being ruthlessly trampled blue. clutching onto the tattered shreds of your dignity, half-broken and bleeding, you muster the strength to leave swiftly before they catch a glimpse of you.
the bitter taste of betrayal lingers in the air, each teardrop is a testament to the shattering of dreams, the dead hope that once soared. the yearning for a love that stands unwavering proves to be a mirage, leaving you grappling with the shards of a love that was never truly yours.
that day, you learn one more thing about gojo satoru. he's just like everybody else.
cerulean eyes, like pools of shimmering azure, flicker with concern as they scan the empty seat beside him. minutes stretch into eternity on the clock, each tick of the second hand amplifying the weight of his worry. nine twenty morphs into nine fifty pretty quickly, and he can't help but be a little annoyed. at this rate, you'll only get in twenty minutes of 'talking.'
you're always punctualâeight fifty-five on the dot. but today, the clock ticks on, and there's no sign of you anywhere. his brows furrow with concern, a nervous flutter dancing in his stomach. did something happen to you? the mere possibility sends a pang of anxiety through him, and he fidgets restlessly in his seat, unable to focus on the lesson before him.
yet, when his gaze shifts to meet suguru's, he swiftly masks his apprehension with an air of nonchalance, as if feigning indifference to your absence. but inwardly, his heart races as he anxiously awaits your arrival. when you finally walk in, he's already scribbling furiously on a piece of paper, filled with questions about what could have delayed you today. yet, as he extends his hand to pass you the note, his eager smile fades into confusion and disappointment.
you walk right past seat thirteen, your usual spot, without so much as a glance in his direction. instead, you approach a random girl and ask if you could sit with her. his heart sinks, a flush of embarrassment coloring his cheeks as a torrent of thoughts flood his mind. is something wrong? are you upset with him? he replays every interaction in his mind, searching for any misstep. but he can't find one. he's been careful to maintain the perfect facade when you're around. perhaps you simply forgot, he reasons with himself, attempting to quell the rising tide of hurt and confusion.
yes, that must be it.
...just a simple oversight.
"hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!! just wait a moment!!" gojo's voice cuts through the chatter of students eager to leave as soon as the bell rings. he grabs your wrist, his touch gentle yet firm, halting your attempt to blend into the rush. his heart races in his chest, the sudden surge of adrenaline making his palms clammy.
"um... you didn't sit with me today." he mumbles, the words coming out in a rush, his voice tinged with uncertainty. his fingers toy with the ring around his finger, his gaze fixed on the ground as he struggles to find the right words to continue the conversation. he doesn't like the way you're looking at him. there's a flicker of irritation in your gaze, a departure from the usual warmth and affection that he's grown accustomed to. normally, when his eyes meet yours, your cheeks tint pink, your pupils dilate, and you give him the cutest starry-eyed look. but not today.
"yeah," you mutter casually, your eyebrow raising ever so slightly. there's a certain coldness in your eyes that sends a shiver down his spine. you're about to leave again, but he moves to block the door, a frown creasing his forehead.
"did i do something wrong? i don't understand why you're suddenly acting so bitchy," he huffs, irritation lacing his voice. the words tumble out before he can stop them, frustration simmering beneath the surface. "no," you reply simply, your tone devoid of any emotion, as if you genuinely don't care. it stings his ego, leaving a sour taste in his mouth.
"you can 'use your charm' to make a new friend. since it's so easy for you, right?" you mutter, your voice trembling with suppressed anger. you promised yourself you'd hold it together, but the wound is still raw, etched deep into your mind as a flush of resentment rises within his eyes widen in shock, a pang of guilt stabbing at his heart. you heard that? no, no, no... he hadn't meant for you to be there. he had been so careful, or so he thought.
"i didn't mean it, i just-" he stutters, desperately searching for an excuse, but he knows it's futile. there's no chance you'd believe him now, would you? his heart sinks. he doesn't want you to hate him. "i was easy, right?" you laugh bitterly, each word dripping with sarcasm and pain.
"i hope that three hundred dollars was worth it. not that you even needed it, though. you think toying with people is fun? you're a dick, satoru, go to fucking hell." you hiss, your words laced with venom, cutting through the air like a sharp blade. "let me explain-" he protests, desperation evident in his voice as he tries to reason with you. but you're too angry to even consider it.
"explain? explain what?'" you explode, your voice rising with each syllable, oblivious to the judgmental glances of passersby. you scoff, tears threatening to spill over.
"i didn't mean it," he cuts you off, his own voice strained with emotion. "you're my friend, i justâ" his voice cracks. "friends don't manipulate other people's feelings." you interrupt, your voice laced with venom as you spit out each word. you're aware you look like a mess, mascara staining your cheeks. "friends don't trick and hurt you on purpose!" you yell, tongue dripping with malice. "and here's the thing. you may be the greatest, satoru, but you will never, be enough. not for suguru, not for anybody."
you almost regret saying it. targetting his biggest insecurity. but then again, he deserves it. "how could you say that?" his voice is broken, quiet, as he mumbles it out as a whisper. the eyes that you once found so stunning suddenly look just like everybody else's. they well with tears, but are quickly blinked away. "you don't get to cry, satoru," you scoff, unzipping your bag and opening the front pouch.
you toss all the letters you've written in class, all the sticky notes, every single ripped paper, every little doodle, flipping your bag over and emptying it on the floor. every single heart fluttering moment you experienced seems so dead now. "you don't get to act like you cared. it's only fair, after all." you manage to muster, fighting to keep your voice stable. tears drip down your chin as your bottom lip trembles.
every step feels like a battle, a relentless tug-of-war between what your heart wants and what your mind knows is right. leaving him behind is like tearing off a piece of your own soul, but you convince yourself it's for the betterâ for your own sanity, for your own self-respect. each stride forward is heavy with the weight of goodbye, each breath drawn in a struggle against the ache in your chest. and as you finally turn away, a part of you dies inside, a piece of your spirit crumbling in the wake of shattered trust and broken dreams. you can feel his eyes on your retreating figure, the silent witness to your silent agony.
this time he doesn't try to stop you. and when you leave, gojo finally allows himself to cry.
today, gojo finds himself seated next to suguru, reclaiming his former spot from before the bet. yet, everything feels different now. the idiotic jokes his friends make just aren't as funny anymore. their presence is irritating to him. he laughs, but the sound lacks the same genuine joy it once held with you. he smiles, but it's a mere shadow of the radiant expression he wore in your presence. his heart may feel a fleeting sense of happiness, but there will always be a hole where you once were.
his so-called 'buddies' don't even notice that he's at his lowest point, and he can't help but think about the way you would've noticed immediately.
how you would've sent him a cute note with his favourite candy attached, because you kept them in your bag just for him, for these kinds of days. he feels so numb. he's always been so confident, yet he can't even muster up the courage to pass by your desk.
and he can't help but wonder what might have been if he had chosen differently that day, if his intentions had been pure from the start. would you two have gotten somewhere? he supposes that now, he'll never know the answer. his eyes cloud over at that thought, slouching back down into his seat.
he never had the chance to tell you how sorry he was, how he would take it all back in an instant if he could. he didn't mean to hurt you. he was stupid and careless. and yet, he tries to convince himself that he'll be okay. that he'll be able to get over you one day. one day, when he's married and has two kids, he'll look back at this and laugh. so then why does his heart feel so heavy? you're not suguru, it's true. but suguru never made him feel this way. and he's confused with his own feelings.
he doesn't know what love is.
he's only sixteen.
perhaps he'll never know. but for him, love was sneaking kikifuku mochi into class for you to share. it was sending you cat memes at three am in the morning, only for you to groggily respond with your own. it was doodling you in his notebook in his spare time. it was how what you were feeling was how he was feeling too.
you were right, it seems.
gojo satoru, the greatest, yet not enough to make you stay.
© KAEFFEINEE 2024. do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works on any platform.
#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jujutsu kaisen angst#jjk angst#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#satoru x reader#satoru x you#satoru x y/n#gojo angst
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How I met your Father. | Bucky Barnes x f!reader
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x f!reader
Themes: Getting noticed by your crush. Pining from Reader.
Summary: You work at the cafe Bucky always goes to and you've had a crush on him for MONTHS.
A/N: Conntected with How's Retirement, Bucky? and Ouch, my face.
The bell above the door jingles as the early morning rush dwindles down, leaving only the occasional customer trickling in. Youâre wiping down the counter, lost in thought, when your coworker, Emma, elbows you hard enough to make you stumble.
âOw, whatââ You shoot her a glare, but her eyes are wide, and she nods her head toward the door with a smirk.
âGuess who just walked in,â she whispers conspiratorially, her grin widening. âMr. Grumpy Pants himself.â
Your heart does an involuntary flip, and your eyes dart to the entrance. Sure enough, there he is, all dark and brooding with that permanent scowl on his face. Bucky Barnes, the man who youâve secretlyâand very stupidlyâhad a crush on for the past three months.
âOh my God, stop calling him that,â you hiss, but your voice is a pitch too high, giving you away instantly. You try to ignore the fact that your cheeks feel like theyâre on fire.
Emma just chuckles and nudges you again, her voice teasing. âCome on, Y/N, everyone knows youâve got it bad for him. You literally beam like a sunflower whenever heâs around.â
Another coworker, Lily, pokes her head out from behind the espresso machine and joins in. âYeah, itâs like youâre part of some weird âgrumpy guy fan clubâ or something. He never even smiles, and youâre over here trying to win him over with puns and pastries.â
âYâall are the worst,â you mutter, willing yourself to calm down. âAnd itâs not a fan club. Itâs called being friendly.â
âUh-huh, sure,â Emma drawls, winking. âBeing friendly. Thatâs why you spend extra time drawing hearts in his latte foam.â
âI do not!â You glare at her, scandalized. âHe doesnât even order lattes!â
âOkay, but if he did,â she teases, âyouâd find a way.â
âShut up, heâs coming over,â you say under your breath, hurriedly pushing Emma and Lily away as you straighten up, forcing yourself to look composed and nonchalant.
Bucky walks up to the counter, his usual stoic expression firmly in place. He gives you a nod of acknowledgment, but not much more.
âMorning,â he grumbles.
âGood morning!â you chirp, and damn it, thereâs that stupid sunflower smile on your face again. You catch Emma and Lily exchanging knowing looks behind the counter and pointedly ignore them. âUsual today?â
âYeah, iced americano,â he replies, his voice that familiar low rumble.
You ring him up, trying to suppress the fluttery feeling in your chest. As you grab a cup and scribble his name on it (which you definitely didnât write just a little fancier than everyone elseâs), you decide to take a chance. You shoot him a playful look.
âHey, did you hear about the coffee that got arrested?â
He blinks at you, his brows furrowing slightly. âNo. Why?â
âIt got mugged,â you say brightly, giving the punchline your best delivery, complete with a little ta-da gesture.
Silence. Bucky just stares at you, his expression unreadable. Itâs like talking to a statue. You can practically feel Emma and Lily holding their breaths, waiting for his reaction.
â...Right,â he mutters finally, nodding slowly. âMugged.â
You wilt a little but keep your smile plastered on. âTough crowd, huh?â
âYeah,â he replies, and for a secondâjust a split secondâyou think you see a flicker of something in his eyes, like amusement. Or maybe youâre imagining things.
You finish making his coffee, and as you hand it to him, Emma stage-whispers from behind the counter. âCome on, Mr. Barnes! Give her a break. Sheâs been working on those jokes all week.â
âEmma!â you hiss, mortified. Your eyes dart to Buckyâs, your heart hammering.
But instead of looking annoyed, he tilts his head, regarding you with a sort of curious intensity. âAll week, huh?â
âUh, yeah,â you admit sheepishly, clutching the edge of the counter. âI mean, not just for you or anythingââ
âYes, just for you,â Emma interjects, grinning wickedly. Lily nods enthusiastically, her eyes wide and teasing.
You shoot them both a murderous glare, and Buckyâs gaze flickers between the three of you. Then, to your complete and utter shock, he makes a sound. Itâs barely audibleâmore of a huff than a laughâbut you catch it. Your eyes widen.
âDid youââ You lean forward, grinning uncontrollably. âDid you just laugh?â
âNo.â He denies it immediately, shaking his head, but his lips twitch like heâs fighting off a smile.
âYou did!â You point at him accusingly. âI heard it!â
âKeep dreaming, Y/N,â he mutters, but thereâs something softer in his tone now. He glances down at his coffee cup, where your careful handwriting spells out âBucky :)â with a little smiley face beside it, itâs almost mocking his stubborn scowl.
He sighsâone of those heavy, put-upon sighs that heâs so good atâand looks back at you. âYouâre persistent, Iâll give you that.â
âYou have no idea,â you say with a grin. âAnd one of these days, Iâm gonna make you smile for real. Just you wait.â
âUh-huh.â He nods, raising an eyebrow as if to say Iâd like to see you try. âGood luck.â
With that, he turns to leave, but just as heâs about to reach the door, he pauses. Youâre still watching him, breathless and grinning like an idiot. He glances around the cafĂ©, his eyes flicking to the stereo speakers mounted on the walls.
You follow his gaze, and thatâs when you hear it: the soft, melodic intro to Sunflower by Post Malone. The lyrics drift through the air, the singer crooning about being left in the dust, a sunflower, and you feel a pang of embarrassment. Of course this song would start playing now.
Buckyâs gaze shifts back to you, and something changes in his expression. He looks at youâreally looks at youâas if heâs putting together a puzzle thatâs been right in front of him this whole time.
âSee you tomorrow, sunflower,â he says, his voice lower, gentler.
You freeze, sure youâve misheard him. âWaitâwhat?â
But he just smirksâsmirks, like he knows something you donâtâand nods at the speakers. âYou beam like one of those. Didnât even need the song to tell me.â
He turns away, and youâre left standing there, staring at his retreating back as the door swings shut behind him. The cafĂ© falls silent except for the soft chorus of the song. Emma and Lily stare at you, jaws practically on the floor.
âDid he justââ
âYeah,â you breathe, still staring at the door. âHe called me sunflower.â
Emma lets out a whoop, and Lily clutches her heart dramatically.
âOh my God, Y/N, heâs so into you,â Emma squeals. âYou broke Mr. Grumpy Pants! You did it!â
âââ
The door swings shut behind him, he makes it a few steps down the sidewalk before he slows to a stop, his coffee cup in his hand. He glances back over his shoulder, through the glass windows, where youâre still standing behind the counter, wide-eyed and speechless.
For a moment, he just stands there, watching you laugh as your coworkers swarm around, teasing you. Youâre always like thatâsmiling, bright, never wavering in your ridiculous attempts to make him laugh. Even when he gives you nothing but deadpan responses and stony glares.
âSunflower,â he murmurs under his breath, shaking his head. The word tastes strange on his tongueâsoft, unfamiliarâbut not unpleasant. He lets out a slow breath, and before he can stop himself, a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips.
âDamn,â he mutters to himself, turning away before anyone can catch him grinning like an idiot. âPersistent little thing.â
He takes another step, his smile growing. Maybe tomorrow, heâll linger a little longer. See what other terrible jokes youâve got up your sleeve.
After all, itâs not like heâs in a rush to go anywhere else.
#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes imagines#bucky barnes x f!reader#winter solider x reader#winter soldier x you#winter soldier x y/n#james bucky barnes#james barnes x y/n#james barnes x reader#james barnes#sebastian stan x you#sebastian stan fanfiction#sebastian stan characters#sebastian stan x reader
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Dreams | Arthur Morgan/Reader
Word Count : 1.1k Summary : Arthur starts having dreams of starting a family with you Warnings/tags : Cursing, fluff, mention of infidelity, just Arthur being a sweet guy <3
He knows he shouldnât feel like this. Shouldnât be having these thoughts, because all they are just dreams. Theyâre never going to become a reality. Not when theyâre constantly on the move, running from place to place. He sees the way it affects Jack, poor kid, not knowing what the hell is going on. And his daddy doesnât exactly help him understand.Â
He canât even say he would be a better father, he wasnât before.Â
Hell you two ainât even married yet, and heâs not that much of a fool. Not anymore. His regret for not marrying Eliza weighs heavily on him most days, even if he didnât love her in that way. Now you on the other hand, he loves you more than anything. More than this stupid gang, more than life itself. He would happily lay down his life if he knew you would be happy, safe.Â
When these thoughts enter his head, he canât say. His days sort of blend together, making it hard to pinpoint. Although seeing you interact with Jack doesnât help.Â
You are so sweet, so motherly, hell you even mother the younger folks in the gang. Soft touches, kind words, but internally strong. You have all the qualities he finds attractive in a woman. Somehow you fell for him just as hard as he fell for you.Â
But he ainât a fool, he knows this ainât the right time or place. So instead he writes down all these dreams in his journal, his safe place. The place where he can say anything without being judged. He dreams of little girls, he didnât know how to interact with Isaac. Too afraid of being his own father. Girls seem less daunting, and a little you would be perfect. He already has one angel, whatâs one more?
He comes up with the name while north of Brandywine Drop. The bright purple flowers caught his eye just off the trail.
Violet.
Violet Beatrice Morgan.
His heart sings, scribbling the name down in the margins of his journal. He finds himself writing VM in his journal, smiling foolishly to himself. Itâs beautiful, his precious flower.Â
Itâs not like you meant to snoop. You were looking for Arthur, since he was nowhere to be found. You entered his tent, which in reality wasnât much of a tent at all, finding his journal open. You walked over to it, looking over the worn page. There were the normal doodles he drew, along with his flowing hand writing. But one thing stood out to you, a pair of initials circled by hearts. VM.
You furrowed your brows, you couldnât think of anyone you knew with the initials VM. Those definitely werenât your initials either.Â
With your curiosity peaked you flipped through a couple more pages. VM was written everywhere, along with those damn little hearts.Â
You felt that little green monster grow inside you the further you looked into his journal. Biting your cheek so hard you could taste blood. It did nothing to quench the fire inside of you.Â
âDarlin?â Arthur called walking into the so-called tent. You dropped the journal back onto the table, turning to face him. âThere you are.â He grinned walking towards you.
âHere I am.â You said forcing a smile.
âHosea said you were looking for me.â He said softly, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, "Anything you need?â
âMust have forgot.â You said with a noncommittal shrug, âI ought to get back to work.â You nod walking past him. Arthur furrowed his brow at your attitude. Did he say something to offend you?
Then his eyes fall onto his open journal. His stomach drops at the sight. Jesus, you saw. You saw all of it. You were probably thinking the worst, seeing the initial surrounded by hearts. How was he gonna fix this?
You stomped off to the edge of camp, trying to wrack your brain as to who this VM could be. And why was Arthur drawing hearts beside the initials? Maybe you had this all wrong, Arthur would never do anything to hurt you. He was a good man, a man you could trust. Wasn't he?
âY/n!â He called trailing behind you, a crestfallen expression on his face. You stopped at the tree lining, biting your lip as you turned to face him. âI can explain.â
âIâm sure you can.â You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest.
âI-â He sighed looking down, pinching the bridge of his nose as he let out a low curse.Â
âWho is she?â You asked clenching your jaw. He furrowed his brows looking up at you.
âWhat?â He asked, his hands settling on his hips.
âVM, the girl you keep drawing hearts around. Who is she?â You were blunt, something he loved so much. Always telling it like it is, never leaving him to guess your feelings. A small smile spread on his face, which only made you more mad. âSeriously, you think this is funny?â You hissed, taking a step towards him. Arthur only had one choice, to tell you the truth.Â
âViolet.â He said softly, reaching for you. âViolet Morgan.â You let him wrap his hand around your forearm, pulling you close to his chest.
âWho is Violet Morgan?â You asked, swallowing thickly. He sighed, looking off to the side, wetting his lips.
âSheâs uh-â He shook his head, a nervous smile on his lips. âSheâs not exactly real, not yet at least.â He said.Â
You shook your head, brows knitted together, âNot real? The hell you mean, not real?â
âI-â He rubbed the back of his neck looking down, âItâs uh- shit.â
âSpit it out Morgan.â You huff throwing your arms up.Â
âI thought of a name,â He explained, âA name for a girl if we- if we have one some day.â He said with a shrug, his cheeks flushed, almost as though he had been in a scuffle.Â
Oh.
If we have one some day.Â
âOh Arthur.â You said softly, a smile spreading across your face. Feeling suddenly very foolish for doubting your man. âThat's so sweet.â You took a step forward, tilting his face up to look at you.Â
âYeah?â He asked, looping his fingers in his gun belt.Â
âYeah.â You repeated, nodding. âJesus you had me scared you were gonna tell me you found someone else.â You chuckled, shaking your head.
âNever. There ainât no one else in this goddamn world that could replace you.â He said his hand reached up to cup your face. âYouâre uh- youâre it for me darlin.â His bright blue eyes peered into yours, love and affection pouring out in his expression.Â
âWhen we have our girl.â You said brushing away a stray strand of honey brown hair, âViolet will be a perfect name.â He grinned, wrapping a hand around your waist.
âGuess itâs settled then.â He said as he leaned down to press his lips against yours.
#rdr2#arthur morgan#arthur morgan x reader#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption#rdr#john marston#jack marston#abigail marston#eliza#isaac morgan#hihomeghere#fluff
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Mean König this, loser König that blah blah blah
How about instead König being the introvert he is with weirdly specific hobbies to match. I'm thoroughly convinced this guy has an army of miniatures (which he all HAND PAINTED, thank you very much).
How about König being frugal and reusing a lot of things or DIY'ing them himself. Things are always too expensive these days and why on earth would he buy a new one when he has one he picked up years ago that works just fine?? C'mon, he made a mask out of a t-shirt, can't convince me that's the only thing he's reused or repurposed.
He's not a gross, disgusting pervert who snorkels with the sludges of humanity in the bottom of the degenerate barrel. [Going to go on the record to say write what you want, that's your choice. But at the same time, it's my choice to say: Genuinely, what the fuck to a LOT of what I've seen in the König tag]
He's also not an UWU shy guy who cries because you took his mask off. Please, his voice lines are so cocky, he's not going to sob and cower because some jackass tried harassing him these days. He's a damn good solider, he's proud of it, he knows it and knows how to use it
Still going to call him baby girl, doesn't make him any less of one, he's just not a wimp with no backbone who crumples into a heap because someone mildly made fun of him. He breaks backs, I'm sure he's kept at least a spine of his own (at least as a souvenir)
Social anxiety doesn't always mean being ridiculously sensitive and the lack of research put into it when it comes to writing König realllllly shows. Proper representation matters and when it's reduced to being a stuttering, co-dependent mess who can barely function on their own and is just overly clinging, it's not cute - it's hurting the narrative around it and further perpetuating untrue and negative stereotypes.
Social anxiety means many different things to many different people and shows itself in so so many ways. No two people experience it or feel it the exact same way, but it's helping NO ONE when you're ignoring blatant characterization of it and how it presents for someone to change it so you can meld them into a stereotypical box
Rant over, I just love König so much (he was my initial draw to this whole fandom) and hate seeing what's done to him in some really, REALLY deplorable extremes
Going to probably write a König reader insert at some point out of spite alone at this rate
#könig cod#call of duty#cod#call of duty x reader#könig call of duty#könig x reader#konig x reader#konig cod#konig call of duty#cod modern warfare#call of duty x you#seriously wtf yall on some of these posts i see#freedom of speech and all that but it goes both ways#rant#rant post#vent post#vent#cod fanfic rant#ghouldtimetalks
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