#this is truly one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever made
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you’ll never see this but
you were right
i should’ve seen this coming
and i should’ve listened. it’s not your fault, it’s mine
i love you, so much. but i���m not what you need. you never needed me. you were content on your own, in your isolation. you even told me so
and again, i should’ve listened.
you care so much, so deeply about the people you love despite the countless times people have shown you the opposite. continue to love, regardless of how much your beautiful heart has been dragged through the mud.
the resilience of your heart and mind are one of the most ethereal things about you, one of the things i’ve always admired.
you’ll always hold the most special place in mine. just like you always have, ever since that one day 7 years ago when the universe made our paths cross somehow
and i hope that in these last few months that we’ve spent together, although our time spent was short, that i could at least make you feel happy again
and i hope that whoever or whatever it is that makes your soul feel free, and those crinkles by your eyes that i’ve grown to love deepen, that you find it all.
and someday, i hope you can be truly at peace. the way i’ve always wanted you to be, the way you’ve always deserved to be, with or without me
and i promise i won’t be in the way of any of that anymore
and i’m sorry, i’m truly am so sorry for coming back into your life
and causing all of these issues, these problems that weren’t yours to fix. damaged goods. none of this was your fault.
i’m sorry.
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Look at my beautiful bias tape binding 👀
#this is truly one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever made#my projects#project trousseau#everything is done except a couple more of these bias bindings and the hem#it is stunning
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Hiii!! Could I request a bombshell reader x Spencer where someone (a local police maybe) says something rude to her about her appearance or something and normally it doesn’t really get to her, but something snaps and she kinda shuts down/is rude to Spencer until he coaxes it out of her? Sorry it’s long I had an idea and ran w it loollll
ty for requesting angel! confident fem!reader, 1k
Spencer shouldn’t expect his colleague to hold his hand, especially one so confident. What sense would that make, a woman as established as you are, who smiles without a lick of worry nor smugness, wanting to hold his hand?
But you do it all the time, is the thing. In the car on the way to crime scenes, in the hallways of the office, under the round table. It started as a tethering for his distractedness, when one day he’d wanted to talk but hadn’t had the presence of mind to walk at the same time, so you’d taken his hand and led him to the office. You’ve been taking it at your discretion ever since.
Spencer knows something is wrong —you haven’t tried to hold his hand all day. And even if you aren’t interested in him romantically, Spencer has come to crave the touch. He’ll accept platonic hand holding. Anything, really.
“You’re staring very deeply, Dr. Reid,” you mutter, shades from your usual lightness.
“I’m thinking.”
“Aren’t you always?”
“About you.”
“Well,” you smile fleetingly. “You should always be thinking about me.”
“You’re truly humble.”
His joke doesn’t land, it crashes and burns; your smile fades completely into a short, sharp line. Your gaze moves back into the restaurant, waiting for the team's food order in silence once again.
Spencer’s pinky finger twitches across the gap.
“Is everything okay?” he asks.
“Fine.”
You stay quiet, Spencer worries. He takes the bags before you can when they bring your food to the collection desk, two lumps of heat he holds to his thighs as you begin the walk back to the hotel. Tonight, the team will pick at their food together and rehash the same arguments they’ve been making all day, filling in each other's gaps, and tomorrow the work will start again. He can’t have you this unhappy again tomorrow.
“You’re amazing,” he says, watching you turn to him from the corner of his eye, “you know you are, we all do, everyone who meets you. I know you don’t need me to tell you that, or to feel better, but… I’m here for you. If you want to talk. It’s been a hard couple of days, and talking about traumatic events as they happen and directly afterward make them easier to recover from.”
“I’m not traumatised.”
“Upsetting,” he corrects. “Having a shoulder to cry on is good for you, and I can be that shoulder. You know, if you need me to be.”
He can’t know this in the moment, though maybe one day you’ll tell him, further down the line when the hand holding is better defined, but you look at him and you love him. To know Spencer is to love him. Or at least that’s how you’ve always felt. You’d love to cry on his shoulder about what transpired that morning if it weren’t embarrassing to think about, you’re upset over a throwaway comment made by nobody important.
Spencer offers his company earnestly. He stammers. It’s amazingly sincere, as he usually is. He won’t mind if it’s embarrassing, he’ll just listen.
You clear your throat. “I know I’m not to everyone’s taste. I know that the way I… present myself isn’t what most men like. People love confidence, but not when it’s bossy, not when it’s– when it’s vain. And I am vain. I think about my appearance a lot, I think I’m beautiful most of the time, I try so hard to have that be true.” You eye him thoughtfully. “Do you realise that?”
He shakes his head gently, one ear toward one shoulder and then the other, as though balancing. “Sort of. I know you put effort into your appearance, but I also assume a lot of it to be natural.”
“Right, well. It’s not natural. Not really. My natural beauty wouldn’t be all the beautiful to most people. And I’ve accepted that, I know what I like about myself, and–” You’re losing the thread of your point, an upset creeping into your melodic tone and turning it ragged. “When people tell me they don’t like how I look now, I guess it hurts because I know they wouldn’t like me before, either, and I feel defeated because I know I can’t win.”
“Who said they don’t like how you look?” Spencer asks, confused, on his way to annoyed.
“Officer Friendly.” You look to your shoes, watching the steps you take. “Guess he wasn’t as nice as we thought.”
“What did he say to you?”
You shrug. “Same story. He doesn’t like girls who wear makeup. Doesn’t like uppity women.”
“Did he call you that?”
“What are you gonna do if he did?” you ask without malice.
“Morgan’s teaching me self defence for a reason.” You smile at his light joke, though it doesn’t last. He transfers the takeout bags into one hand, the other held out to you, his fingers sliding down your arm to your wrist. “You know you’re beautiful, with or without makeup. And you’re not uppity, you’re out of his league. There’s a difference.”
“You’re flirting with me.”
“No.” He wishes he had the wherewithal sometimes, but this isn’t flirting. “I’m being honest with you. Men like that don’t like you because they know they’ll never, ever have you, or anyone like you. There isn’t anyone like you,” he adds, sliding his hand into yours.
He squeezes all your fingers together twice in quick succession.
“Don’t let a jealous chauvinist halfwit make you think you’re not good enough,” he says.
You curl your fingers around his before he can take his hand back. Slowly, you squeeze his hand. Then, smiling, you let him go.
“I’ve never heard you say something mean like that,” you say. “Halfwit. That’s crass.”
“I was going to say he’s an asshole, if that’s better.”
Your laugh echoes off of the sidewalk. “That’s perfect. Say something meaner.”
The insult he uses next doesn’t bear repeating.
#spencer and bombshell reader#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction
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╰┈➤ 18+ none of these stories belong to me! this is a masterlist of all the fanfics i’ve read and reblogged! just thought it would be nice to have them all in one spot! (if your fic is on here and you wish not to be, please let me know!) some will have summaries if provided <3
ᡣ𐭩 how you can help palestine . fic recs m.list
@gutsby
⭒ Wedded Bliss
The marriage was arranged, and the sex is deranged. Bucky is so obsessed with your pussy that he almost forgets he’s meant to be faking this whole thing—and hating it, like sworn enemies are supposed to do.
@samthemarvelfan
⭒ Bad Romance
In Brooklyn, everyone knows the unwritten rule: you don’t cross James Barnes. When you return after nearly half a decade, things are anything but the same. After the murder of your Uncle, you begin to learn that no one is who they say they are, and that you may have accidentally given your heart to a mobster; The White Wolf of Brooklyn. More dangerous than that, he’s given you his.
@anonymityisfunwriter
⭒ Two Sides of the Same Coin
⭒ You're Losing Me
Your fairytale ending is crumbling before your eyes. You don't know how to love someone who can't tell you're dying. You fear you're fading away, begging him to do someone, say something, choose something. You fear he won't be able to resuscitate you this time. This time, he's losing you.
⭒ Alone Together
It was always been you and Bucky, alone together, you'd say. But suddenly, you're just alone.
⭒ Uptown Girl and the Brooklyn Boy
Everyone knows that all any Uptown Girl needs is a Greaser from Brooklyn to make her forget all about her uptown world.
@pellucid-constellations
⭒ For the Love of the Game
Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it.
@barnesafterglow
⭒ Friday (I'm In Love)
every day you love bucky. every friday he pretends to love you too
@sinner-as-saint
⭒ Tempestuous
With his kingdom flourishing in peace, and no threats from enemies; recently crowned King - James Buchanan Barnes sets out at sea. With his finest ship, the best crew ever recruited, and a deep desire to see whether the edge of the world truly exists; the King sets sail. Hoping to find the marvels of the ocean, to find beauty and magic even; however he ends up finding a fiery soul – one he cannot get enough of. But then again, no love story is ever perfect, is it?
⭒ Ruin
You work at a café owned by your family, close to your uni. And most of your days are pretty laid back and calm, but that is until you catch the eye of the mob boss. Your cute skirts and soft sweaters make him weak. Your innocence captivates him. And he wants you, badly. He wants you in his bed, wants his hand under those cute little skirts… he wants to ruin you.
⭒ A Sweeter Place
Years after a messy break-up, and now seeking stability, infamous mob boss James Buchanan Barnes finds himself reunited with an old flame of his. Instant guilt and regret wash over him when he finds out that his reckless ways back then, changed an innocent girl’s life forever.
⭒ You're No Saint
Steve and Bucky have been friends since they were young boys. They are inseparable, so naturally when you married Steve you were aware that Bucky came along with him. Every event, every vacation, even as the best man at your wedding - Bucky was always there, alongside you and Steve. He was one of your best friends as well, so you’ve never thought of him in a sexual way, ever. That is until one certain night, when you see something you’re not supposed to and you like it a little too much. You deny your desire towards Bucky, but Steve knows you better than anyone. He knows what you want and need, and he’s determined to fulfil your fantasy; because what his wife wants, she gets.
⭒ Run For Your Life
He was away from the city for a while, chasing after some bastards who betrayed him. But the traitors were no longer breathing now and Bucky Barnes was finally able to come home to the city he ruled. Mostly, he was excited to come back and see his girl again. However when he got to the strip club where you worked as a waitress, he didn’t find you there. They told him you didn’t work there anymore. No one knew where you went, or why you left. Nobody even knew your real name. Now it was up to him to search the whole wide world to find a nameless girl – one he was obsessively, mindlessly in love with.
⭒ All Yours
One of your students confess their feelings for you and things get interesting...
@mellowsaturns
⭒ In Losing Grip, on Sinking Ships
when the avengers pick up unusual activity, they realize that not all of hydra was destroyed. one unidentifiable face sends the team into a frenzy but bucky knows it. he could recognize those eyes anywhere.
⭒ All to Myself
after bucky finds out why you've been acting up ever since his company's party, he teaches you a lesson and remind you that you're the only one for him
@renxzs
⭒ Redemancy
Maybe it was a bit naive to think moving in with your best friend and long-time crush, Bucky Barnes, was going to be some smooth road that led to an admittance of mutual feelings for one another and a happily-ever-after ending, wrapped up nicely in a bow. Naive indeed; especially when you have to consider the fact that Bucky is the biggest womanizer you know.
@cryptidcasanova
⭒ My Devotion
The one where Bucky doesn’t take your breakup well.
⭒ Loverboy
It's the Bridgerton carriage scene, but make it mob!Bucky.
@subwaysurf45
⭒ She's Not Mad
Bucky Barnes was a known people pleaser, it was second nature to him. After meeting you and getting close you both try to navigate his eternal stressed state, working together you try your best to tone down his obsessive ways.
@adrinktostopyourthirst
⭒ Sniper
Reluctantly, you get thrown into an assignment with Bucky and Yelena, but Bucky doesn't trust you as far as he can throw you. When he's proven to be correct, it turns out you're still a hell of a good team.
⭒ Three Hundred
Bucky always makes sure his best friend is okay, because that is what you need. He's caring, but very passive and nonchalant, because you need it. Not him. He doesn't need that. He doesn't need you. Does he?
⭒ Variant
The chaos of the multiverse is quite literally holding up a mirror to Bucky. Turns out, it's very easy to get under someone's skin when you have a universal connection to them.
⭒ Underground
The Underground is the last way for you to survive whatever is left of the world after the Blip. Natasha introduces you to the Winter Soldier whose wing you're under until you find your way around. He's a stoic Underground fighter and you're... useless.
⭒ One Shot
Bucky and you have a hard time staying away from each other. And though you try to push him away, every time he finds you again, the universe finds a new way to pull you apart.
⭒ Satisfied
Drunk sex with Bucky.
@thenhewaswrongaboutme
⭒ Your Hands Have Made Some Good Mistakes
Bucky has to spend six months locked up with a stranger.
⭒ Time Out
Need me a boy who is so needy and whiny when he cums inside for who knows how many times, and yet he still begs as soon as he's done "please, please again? I'll be good, I-I swear, I just need it so bad, just one more baby I promise–"
@bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky
⭒ After All This Time
impending danger puts you and your ex, Bucky, in close quarters.
⭒ Why Are You At The Wake?
Bucky sits by your hospital bed, anxious for you to finally open your eyes. He’s got to set the record straight, and apologize for what he said before you got hurt.
⭒ The Rain Is Always Gonna Come If You're Standing With Me
A hurtful article in a low-budget gossip magazine throws your relationship with Bucky for a loop.
⭒ I Can Go Anywhere I Want, Just Not Home
Bucky doesn't talk to you anymore, and he's less than enthusiastic when he runs into you out of the blue. But when he calls from a strange phone number, the puzzle pieces fall together.
@noceurous
⭒ Get You Back
You hated that you loved Bucky Barnes, and he loved that you could not hate him.
@violentdelightsandviolentends
⭒ Honey Girl
The Universe shows you your soulmate when it feels like you need them most. When you least expect it, you're given yours - Bucky Barnes. Your Dad's best friend. You can try to refuse it all you like; but the universe wants what it wants. There's no denying fate.
@notafunkiller
⭒ You Were Just Mine Yesterday
It's been a while since your break up with Bucky happened, but you're still not over him. You try to move on, go out, and have fun with your friend, Steve, but you end up in the same bar you two went to often. It also just happens that Bucky is there too, with Natasha by his side. It doesn't take long for you two to end up getting into old habits.
⭒ Out Of Style
A year after your divorce, you and Bucky come face to face at your closest friends' wedding. Emotions run high, leading to a fiery confrontation that takes a detour to Bucky's hotel room, where the old flame might just reignite.
@queers-gambit
⭒ Curiousity Killed The Cat
after rescuing you from kidnappers, you overhear your boyfriend-turned-savior complain about how clingy you've become.
@cherryblossom-heart
⭒ I Loved You Once
Loving Bucky Barnes was never easy but breaking your heart seemed to come naturally to him. A love story about your heartbreak,his betrayal and a chance at redemption.
@rookthorne
⭒ Purity
Softness was a trait you unwittingly carried - the wings of a dove taking you higher and higher, elevating you in the eyes of the devil. And that devil did not want to wait any longer. It was time to collect.
⭒ His Girls
Cars were all the same to you — classics, imports, you name it, they were all the same. Well, they were, until you were nonetheless forced to visit your local mechanic and saw the man that would pique your interest in not only every single make and model of classic car, but his charming smile; the air of righteous arrogance that flowed from his tattoos, and that damned cheeky glint in his bright eyes.
⭒ Hollywood Boulevard
All it took was one night, one song - hell, one note - and you were gone for him, hook, line, and sinker. Turbulent times lay ahead, but in the afterglow of ecstasy, forced to feel emotions in such intensity for someone you’d never expect, you couldn't help but follow him anyway - he was irresistible, after all.
@boxofbonesfic
⭒ You're Gonna Give Me Six
@gogolucky13
⭒ Mean It
You and Bucky get trapped overnight in the safe house after a mission. Everything should be okay, except he's your ex and thanks to his carelessness, the situation gets a little more complicated.
@intrepidacious
⭒ Almost Believing
You and Bucky aren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment. That doesn't mean you're getting out of having to pretend to be married for a mission.
@buckybarnesdiaries
⭒ Please
Bucky needed to be spoiled.
@buckys-darling
⭒ Face The Sun
To ensure the prosperity of their two kingdoms, a determined Princess and reluctant King are to be wed. She is willing to commit, but he can’t seem to let his lover go.
⭒ Will You Love Me Tomorrow?
You and Bucky are friends who fuck and nothing more. That’s what you’ll keep telling yourself, at least.
⭒ Electric
Flirtation has a different meaning with Bucky, and his patience doesn't last long when it comes to you.
@straywords
⭒ Kiss It Better
You’re not entirely sure your boss with the staring problem even likes you, but you’re determined to do your job either way.
@little-miss-dilf-lover
⭒ Fifteen Minutes
@bucksfucks
⭒ The Feeling's Mutual
the amount of times you and bucky have seen each other masturbating is alarmingly high. might as well do it together.
@ellemj
⭒ Bigger Than He Was
Bucky pretends to be your new man when you run into your ex in public. However, the little act of pretending sparks something inside of him that he didn't know was there.
⭒ Strawberries
Bucky, the man with a long list of girls on his roster, gets exposed to a sex pollen in the field. Will he fuck the first girl he calls or the girl he's wanted for the last two months?
⭒ Breathe
Bucky hates the way you take unnecessary risks in the field, the way you're so mesmerizing and yet so hard to work with, and he especially hates the way you get on your knees for him during a dangerous mission. Finding out how pretty you look on your knees is the last thing he needs.
⭒ Flustered | part 2
Bucky seems to thoroughly appreciate all women...except for you. When he finds out one of your weaknesses, he can't help but use it against you, which only makes you hate him more.
⭒ Inevitable
While on a mission with Sam, John Walker, and Bucky, you're the only person exposed to a sex pollen. Bucky sure as hell isn't going to let anyone else take care of you.
⭒ Blurred Lines
When choosing a female agent to send back in time to gain young Sergeant Barnes's trust, everyone's in agreement that it should be Sharon. Until Bucky, the man that you barely get along with, speaks up and lets everyone know that it could only be you.
⭒ Does It Hurt?
Bucky never would've gone out of his way to help you if he knew that HYDRA was still watching his every move, if he knew that it would shift their focus to you. When you're targeted and taken, it's his fault and he'll do anything to save you. Anything.
@viixenvi
⭒ Red
You work at a strip club and Bucky is a regular. Tonight he specifically asks for you in a private room. You never thought he'd love the color red on you so much.
@ro-is-struggling
⭒ Self Care
Bucky always seemed interested in your skin care routine, so when one day he arrives tired and drained from a mission, you take the opportunity to show him the importance and benefits of self-care.
@kinanabinks
⭒ Silent Girl
After a traumatizing event, you aren’t the friendliest or most talkative of people. Bucky understands, and in turn becomes the one person you soften your hard exterior for.
⭒ Special Girl
Being friends with benefits definitely has its perks, especially when the friend in question is as hot as Bucky Barnes - but when you're feeling insecure about the arrangement, Bucky makes it clear to you that you're more than just a friend.
@angrythingstarlight
⭒ Roommate Bucky
@wkemeup
⭒ Cold, Cold Water
While on a stakeout in the heart of Russia, Bucky learns that touch can bring something more than pain and he will willingly give himself over to the ice if it means keeping you alive.
⭒ Drunk On You
Bucky has always been nervous around you. When he’s tasked with caring for you after a night of heavy drinking and suddenly you’re kissing him, Bucky doesn’t know what to do. You couldn’t possibly want him sober, right?
⭒ Honey and Chamomile
Four cups of tea, four distinct moments in time, and each pulls you in closer beyond the walls surrounding Bucky’s heart.
⭒ Suburbia
Posing as husband and wife, you and Bucky infiltrate a quaint suburban neighborhood in search of a Hydra hacker. Perhaps if you weren’t so in love with him and he hadn’t broken your heart, the act of pretending wouldn’t hurt so much.
⭒ Eclipse
When a mission leaves you empty and broken, Bucky is determined to heal the wounds that linger deeper than the cuts on the surface.
⭒ Back to Bourbon Street
When you’re badly injured on a mission, Bucky works desperately to keep you alive. Only, it might not be enough.
@espinosaurusrexex
⭒ Bad Boys Don't Buy Flowers
Bucky would have never thought, he’d be chasing after a girl. Not when all of them usually fell at his feet. But when he finds himself entangled in a deal born out of a desperate argument with his assistant, he realizes there is nothing he wouldn't do for you: The independent florist who is adamantly dragging him to the homeless shelter every chance she gets. There is just one problem: Bucky doesn't know how to tell you. And the teasing from his friends is certainly not making things easier for him...
@navybrat817
⭒ Reconnect
Bucky Barnes is your best friend. You're also in love with him. After his recent breakup, the two of you get a chance to reconnect during a weeklong vacation together. Is it long enough to get your happy ending?
@dyspneagrime (wattpad & ao3)
⭒ No Privacy
You're stuck on a mission that never seems to end, in a completely destroyed studio apartment, with absolutely no privacy. And no privacy means- you haven't cum the whole time. Thing is, neither has the ancient, half-cyborg, psychopathic, hobo-lookin' asshole that you've been partnered up with.
⭒ Little Wing
The year is 1973. All Dove Rogers wanted was a relaxing summer. Just one last hoorah before being thrust into the adult life. Yet everything shifts when her new houseguest and long standing enemy- Bucky Barnes, arrives. In the thick of sun-kissed relaxation, the two of them are forced to face the awakening and burning desire growing between them.
⭒ Possessed
Margaret Everlee is a meek little thing. Living her life as a struggling artist in New York, trying to find her place in the world. That is until the formidable CEO with a dark past, James Barnes sets his sights on her. His infatuation is instantaneous, becoming a man obsessed with making her his own little doll.
@stardustdreams-andcaffeine
⭒ The Thin Line
Of one thing you were certain—Bucky Barnes hated you, and you hated him. How could you not, considering the super soldier had made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell after you had been assigned to protect him? But there was someone after Bucky from his past, and now he was forced to work alongside you to stop them. And in the process, you would find out just how thin that line was between love and hate.
@buckybabesonly
⭒ Wanna Be Yours
You are afraid to believe that someone like Bucky might actually love you back.
@lovelybucky1
⭒ Flirting and Football
@kurogxrix
⭒ Drunkenly In Love
you and Bucky ‘accidentally’ get married after a drunken game of truth or dare with the avengers.
@stxrvel
⭒ Hate Is A Strong Word
you hated Bucky and you were convinced that he hated you back. until one time he was talking to you and it started to sound... lovely? what was happening?
@kikixreverie
⭒ Its Called: Freefall
Things get heated between you and your closest friend Bucky, when you're made to play a married couple on an important mission. Neither of you can help yourselves when you end up stuck in a hotel room together, with sexual tension you could cut with a knife.
@brunchable
⭒ I Don't Want You Like A Best Friend
Bucky can't decide if the universe loves him or hates him. Maybe it loves to hate him. Maybe it's mischievous. Because he’s in love. He’s madly, deeply, painfully in love with a girl that he knows he’ll never have. Because the heavens created arguably the most perfect creature in their repertoire, dangled you in front of him for his entire life, and chose to rip you away before he had the chance to tell you how he felt.
@thyme-in-a-bubble
⭒ Just For Tonight
before you could even consider the possible consequences, a desperate request then fell from your lips, “well, what if I’m not asking you to be with me? What if it’s just for tonight? What if I’m only asking you to be with me for one night? Would you give me that?” you blinked up at him, scarcely breathing at all, “would you be mine just till the sun comes up?”
@aquaticmercy
⭒ Sleeper
When Bucky falls in love with the antihero he’s sleeping with, he offers her a place in the Thunderbolts.
⭒ My Own Soul's Warning
You, an immortal being, falls in love with the very mortal Bucky Barnes. You would do anything for him, even if it meant you had to strike a deal with Death herself.
@skaye44
⭒ Coffee Companion
You and your friend Bucky enjoy going for coffee dates as friends. Bucky sees the names and numbers of two flirty baristas on your cups. He's jealous and wants to be the one you date, so he takes matters into his own hands.
@ultralightpoe
⭒ Juno
#marvel#bucky barnes#james bucky barnes#“ass or tits?” bro A METAL ARM#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes smut#tfatws#winter soldier#winter soldier x reader#“i can change him” bitch why#hes a perfect menace to society and i love that#sebastian stan#mob!bucky#mob!au#mob!bucky barnes#mob!bucky x reader
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A Study in Anchored Souls
Pairing: ghost!Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: In which the ghost of Spencer Reid discovers that in order to unveil his unfinished business and finally lay at rest, he must somehow enlist the help of the woman who now inhabits his apartment. Category: MATURE (18+) Content: Strong language, mention of weed, ghost shenanigans (?), female masturbation, fingering, oral sex (fem receiving), brief handjob, unprotected p in v sex, Spencer is invisible for all of that LMAO Word Count: 11.8k
MASTERLIST
NOTE: God, I love ghost smut. That was a goddamn blast to write! Like you don't even know how giddy it made me putting these words to the keys. I even put in extra effort and made a little photo banner, which I’ve never done for a one shot before, and I’m kinda obsessed with it ngl 😂 I hope you love this one as much as I do! <3 Written for @imagining-in-the-margins Autumn Air writing challenge!
———
ACT I: Girls' Night
Spencer Reid always knew he would die.
It was a cold, hard fact of life that at one point, everyone would die. It was unsure when or how, but it happened. There was no escaping it. That thought alone was enough to squander most of his anxieties about death— even after a few near-death experiences and the constant danger his line of work tended to throw at him throughout his lifetime.
Still, the one thing he couldn't stand to think about was the "after". He wanted truly to believe that what happened after death was just nothingness, but after his encounter with Tobias, it stirred up all sorts of questions and unexplainable possibilities that were just too vast for even his brain to try and comprehend.
Then, of course, there was the fact that he was currently standing in his old apartment, watching somebody else live her life, completely invisible to her. He tried talking to her, too, but nothing. It was like he wasn't even there.
But why? It's not like he had unfinished business or anything. The unsub who shot him was shot down immediately afterwards. He watched him die before passing out himself. Why was he "awake" now, nearly 5 months after the fact, and not when his friends were grieving him? Where were his friends, and why has the afterlife chosen to tie Spencer to a place rather than the people that knew and loved him?
Logically it seemed reasonable but really, he just missed his friends. He missed his life.
He hated the afterlife, he decided then. There was no reason he needed to keep doing this when he couldn't even leave the confines of the apartment. He couldn't walk through walls or touch anything or sit down on the woman's gross floral couch. If he wanted to enter another room, the door needed to be opened, otherwise he was stuck right there in the living room, the kitchen, and the open dining space that connected the two. If he was allowed to live his afterlife with his mom, or playing Chess with Gideon, or travelling the world, free to go anywhere and see anything without hardship, it might have been different.
But no. He was stuck watching this woman struggle to move furniture by herself.
He didn't know her. Had never seen her before. She wasn't a student of his or a victim he'd saved or even a fling. She was a complete stranger. A complete stranger who unfortunately had terrible taste in decor and an even more unfortunately beautiful face.
Her name was Y/N. From what he could gather, she didn't have any family, at least not nearby. Her two best friends were the only other people in her circle that he'd seen in the apartment, and when they were all together it was... interesting. There was a lot of loud laughter and wine, and oh God, the sex talk...
It felt intrusive, but he couldn't leave. He could migrate to another room, maybe, but his ears still worked, even a little too well. His eyes, too, seemed to be as sharp as ever, any imperfections to his vision completely mended. He was simply over aware of everything, and yet hollow at the same time, and he hated everything about it.
But what could he do? He couldn't even touch anything or communicate to anyone, so how could he possibly figure out what was keeping him here and how he could get out of it? Did his new roommate hold some sort of knowledge or ability to help him solve this mystery, or was he destined to watch her live out her life in this place that he once called "home"? Was there any connection between them at all?
He didn't know.
Usually he liked puzzles, but this one was rather annoying.
He just wanted to rest.
Y/N had been moved in for just over a month (yes, there was a whole month of just standing there learning everything about a stranger because there was simply nothing else for Spencer to do) when finally, there was a small glimmer of hope.
Heavy on the small.
It was Girls' Night. Friday. It always consisted of too much wine and movies and snacks and discussions about whatever they were reading or watching. Despite the differences in the routine, the camaraderie made Spencer miss his friends. He wondered what they were all up to. Maybe, if this all worked out, he could actually find out.
But for now, he had to focus on the baby steps.
When the girls showed up with a Ouija board, he couldn't help the incredulous laughter that escaped him.
Y/N, it seemed, felt the same disbelief. "You guys, what the fuck is that?"
"What does it look like?" the first friend, Maya, retorted.
The other, Robin, added, "You were the one that said you felt like you weren't tooootally aloooone in this apartment..."
Her haunting inflection elicited a backhanded thump to the arm, Y/N groaning as she closed the door behind her. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean I would want to know what or who it is! Besides, I'm probably just paranoid. It's just being in a new place and the anxieties that come with it, that's all. You guys are insane."
"Only one way to find out!"
Was Spencer really going to entertain this? A goddamn Ouija board? He enjoyed his fair share of spooky things and researching superstitions, but that was out of his realm of belief. On the other hand, one could technically consider him a ghost... He could look down and see himself, but nobody else could see or hear him... Y/N had obviously voiced a concern for feeling a presence to her friends, but how much of that feeling was accurate and how much of it was, in fact, 'new home anxieties'?
As the girls unboxed the board and set up their things, Spencer sighed, mumbling to himself, "Only one way to find out..."
Maya closed the curtains and turned all the lights off, meanwhile Y/N and Robin were collecting and lighting any candle they could find. They cleared off the low coffee table in front of the couch where the girls sat and set everything up there, Spencer taking a seat on the floor opposite the group. It was then that Y/N said something that made him laugh.
"Wait, shouldn't we give the couch to the ghost?"
"What?"
"Well, what if it's an angry ghost? And then we make it sit on the floor, and it decides to exact vengeance on us? Maybe we should... I don't know, be more hospitable?"
"Hmmm, maybe you're right," Robin said, standing up. "Do you hear that, Ghost? We're only being nice to you, so please don't kill us, m'kay?"
Spencer sighed. Little did they know, he couldn't actually sit on the couch. Or a chair. Or anything that wasn't the floor. It was like the ground was the only physical thing he was anchored to. Still, the girls had no way of knowing that, so they shuffled their way to the other end of the table, flipping the Ouija board so it would face the other way. Spencer got up and moved then. He'd have to stand uncomfortably in the small gap between the table and the couch, bending down at the waist to use the board, provided he could even touch it.
He had no idea how this was going to work, if at all.
It was all starting to sound and feel absolutely ridiculous.
The girls each put a finger on the planchette, nervous laughter emanating from them, and Spencer gave one last deep breath before reaching out to touch it himself, anticipating the moment of truth.
His hand hovered over the board, feeling a block just before he would make any contact. He couldn't touch it. His hand wouldn't even go through. He retreated and huffed, wondering if there was something he could do to communicate with them otherwise. He tried to blow out one of the candles, but with no luck. He could feel his breath against his own skin (could you even call it that at this stage?), but the objects in front of him were completely oblivious to his presence.
He was about to give up and call it a night, leaving the girls to have their fun, but then one of them gasped.
"Wait, don't we have to use two fingers? Is that how it works?"
"Shit, I think you're right."
They adjusted their positions and Spencer sighed, but indulged them just in case.
His hand lowered again, middle and pointer fingers approaching the planchette in anticipation. He half-expected there to be resistance again, but this time, a cool rush of wind gusted up in between them as his fingers made contact with the wood.
"Holy shit!" all four of them exclaimed in unison.
"Did you feel that?" Maya squealed excitedly. "Wicked..."
"No, not wicked!" Y/N whined. "We should stop!"
"Really? You know for sure now that there's a ghost living in your apartment, and you're just not going to ask it questions to make sure it's not harmful? Be smart about this, bitch," Robin countered playfully.
Spencer wanted to cut to the chase. He moved his hand, spelling out a word, and the girls collectively gasped before reciting each letter out loud hesitantly, like they couldn't believe what was happening.
"H-A-R-M-L-E-S-S"
"Oh my God! You have a Casper!"
Y/N shook her head furiously. "You guys, stop fucking with me, I mean it. This isn't funny."
"I didn't move it!" said Robin.
"Me either," said Maya. "Besides, you felt that wind right? How could either of us have done that?"
"I don't know, because you're a fucking wizard or something! Cut it out!"
"Hey, if you didn't want to do it that badly, you would have taken your hand off the planchette... Hey, Ghost, have you ever seen Y/N naked?"
"Robin!"
Maya cackled and Y/N went pale. If he wasn't already dead, Spencer would have probably gone pale as well.
The truth was, he had. Seen her naked, that is.
He wasn't proud of it. It happened by total accident. Sort of. He was following her around the apartment all day because he was bored, and he'd ended up locked in her bedroom with her. Either he was truly horrible at reading people (which seemed impossible considering his profession) or she had just gotten a random spurt of excitement, because the moment her door closed, she whipped her shirt off, exposing her bare torso to him, and he couldn't move. He was frozen, completely shocked at the sight before him. She reached down to take off her pants, and he turned around then, quickly becoming aware of the situation.
She rustled behind him and he tried desperately to walk through the door. Any time he got close, the barrier would stop him. He couldn't do anything but stand in the corner and pray to whatever that she was only changing.
She was, in fact, not changing.
Spencer swore in that moment at the table that he could still hear the low hum of her vibrator and every single sound that came from her body and mouth that night, and he was absolutely mortified.
He'd only dared to glance back when he heard the end, her breathing slow and the humming gone. It was silent for a while before he turned around entirely, only to find her asleep, sprawled completely bare over the covers. He wished he could have draped a blanket over her, but his hands were more or less tied.
Thankfully she was only asleep for about a half hour before she forced herself awake to clean up and actually go to bed.
Spencer never followed her around the apartment ever again. Just in case.
"Don't answer that, Ghost," Y/N rushed, "Robin's just fucking around. We promise to ask you serious questions from here on out."
Maya faked a snore. "Come on, Y/N, this is supposed to be fun. The ghost is harmless."
"No, the ghost said it was harmless. Doesn't mean it is."
Spencer thought for a moment as the girls went back and forth, and then he spelled out another word— or an acronym, rather.
"It's moving again!" Robin gasped, spelling out the letters.
"F-B-I"
"Holy shit did you work for the FBI, Ghost?" Maya inquired.
Spencer moved the planchette to the "YES" at the top of the board.
"Maybe... Maybe we should stop calling them Ghost..." Y/N took a shaky breath and closed her eyes for a brief moment before nodding. "Ummm... Spirit Who Resides Here..." Robin and Maya snorted. "What is your name?"
Spencer wished he could tell her she didn't need to be formal, but it was amusing watching her do it anyway. He spelled out his name, first and last, and the girls made a collective hum of acceptance. A normal name and not something concerning.
"We should Google him," Robin said matter-of-factly.
Maya hummed in agreement, but Y/N swallowed and asked another question. "Spencer, you're not... Going to hurt me, are you?"
He moved the planchette to "NO," and watched the relief take over her body, relaxing her muscles and her posture for just a brief moment. He could tell she was still wary, but it was a step in the right direction.
"See? Told you he was harmless."
"He still could be lying," Y/N mumbled. Then she sat up straight. "Not that I don't believe you, Spencer. I'm sorry. You just have to understand that I'm a woman living alone, and the thought of a man I can't see haunting my apartment is just... It's extremely terrifying."
He felt bad for her. As annoying as his situation was, he couldn't imagine being in hers. He almost wished he hadn't entertained the Ouija board at all and put her worries to rest, but since it was too late, all he could do was try and reassure her that he wasn't a threat.
His fingers moved again.
"U-N-D-E-R-S-T-A-N-D"
And then a pause, before: "S-O-R-R-Y"
Y/N's eyes dropped, and her friends made a collective "Awwwww," before a knock sounded at the door, jolting them all to move away from the Ouija board.
Spencer was knocked backwards, and he expected his newfound sense of touch to disappear once the connection had broken, but to his surprise, he found himself safely seated on the couch. His hands reached over the fabric, testing, and despite his distaste for the floral pattern on it, the cushions were suddenly the greatest thing he'd ever touched. He was grateful for this couch. And for the Ouija board, and for Y/N and her eccentric friends.
Speaking of which, Robin yelled out, "Pizza's here!" and got up with Maya to abandon the board. Pizza apparently seemed more interesting than a ghost, but for two women who Spencer could now tell (no thanks to his upgraded sense of smell) were a little high, that seemed reasonable.
As her friends happily greeted the pizza delivery man, Y/N reached out to touch the planchette again, just for a moment, and gently whispered, "Thank you, Spencer."
He returned it with an earnest, "You're welcome," but he wasn't sure if she'd hear or not. She looked around the area for a few seconds before turning around, and it wasn't clear whether she had.
But she seemed relaxed now, and that was a start.
As the girls sat at the dining table and ate pizza, Spencer tested out his new senses just a few steps away. He found himself thankful to be in a familiar place, even if the decor was different. The walls were the same and the bookshelves still stood, now filled with bright Romance novels and trinkets and photos that laid out Y/N's personality quite perfectly. He smiled, running his fingers along the spines of the books, missing the feeling even if they weren't his own.
He wanted to see if he could read one, just for the sake of feeling a book in his hands again, but he figured he'd wait until Maya and Robin were gone and Y/N was asleep.
Until then, he continued to touch things without making them move, not wanting to raise anyone's eyebrows.
And then, a gasp sounded from the dining table.
"I found him! I have his obituary right here!"
"Holy shit, let me see!"
Spencer made his way to the table to observe.
The girls passed around Maya's phone, looking at his obituary photo. Robin made a low whistle, then called out into the air on her left. He was standing to her right, unable to help the dry laughter that escaped him at the irony of the situation.
"Spencer, you were hot!"
Maya shook her head and sighed. "Yeah. What a damn shame. Sorry, man."
Robin seemed more amused than anything, turning to Y/N, who was reading through the obituary. "Hey, at least you can rest easy knowing you've got a hot FBI ghost watching over you."
"Yeah, but... Why? Do you think he lived here? In this apartment?"
"I don't know. Maybe we should ask him."
Y/N sighed, handing Maya her phone back. "I'm sure he has more exciting ghost stuff to do on a Friday night than entertain us three. All I know is he promised not to hurt me, so I don't really care if he stays."
He was glad for her ease of anxiety, but he certainly cared if he stayed. However, she sounded exhausted, and it was fair. Finding out your new apartment was haunted by a ghost (even a harmless one) sounded like a reasonably stressful situation. He wanted desperately to figure out how to finally move on, but for now he could accept the simple fact that he could actually touch things now, and let Y/N rest easy.
Even if he couldn't yet.
ACT II: X's and Oh's
Every time she came home, Y/N would greet Spencer kindly. Probably out of precaution (you know, just in case he really was lying about being harmless), but brightly all the same.
"Spencer, I'm home! I... I don't know if you're haunting me or the apartment, but... I hope you had a good day, just in case it's me."
He smiled, wishing he could greet her back.
Eventually, he found small ways to do it.
He fogged up a spot on her bathroom mirror, that way the next time she showered before bed, the heat would reveal a message on the glass: "Good night. —S.R."
Y/N talked to him that night, dressed in her pajamas and walking around the apartment like she was deciding where to talk to him. Eventually she decided on standing in her bedroom doorway.
"Spencer? You said good night so you might not even be in here, but... I guess this is me saying good night back...Thanks for being a nice ghost, I really appreciate it. If... If there's anything I can do for you, let me know, okay? Okay... Goodnight."
If only there was a way she could hear him. Communicating in mirror-notes was hardly good for anything more than a simple "good night," and despite the fact that he could touch things, he couldn't grip them, so writing on paper was out. He'd kept trying to open a door with the handle, and with no luck. It was starting to get irritating, wondering what the next step was to evolving as a ghost.
He couldn't even believe he'd thought up the phrase. Ghost evolution sounded absolutely insane, but he supposed it was his current reality regardless of how it sounded...
Tonight Y/N was out rather late. For a brief moment Spencer started to worry, but then the key turned in the doorway and relief settled in when she finally stepped inside. She seemed rather tired, but greeted him with a gentle smile all the same.
"Hi, Spencer."
"Welcome home, Y/N."
She didn't hear him, obviously, but it still felt rude not to say it back. He wondered if he could try to touch her in greeting. Maybe a brief brushing of hands or a tap of acknowledgement on the shoulder. But he didn't want to scare her, so he'd have to figure that out.
Thankfully, she seemed to have felt his curiosity somehow.
Later that night, as she laid in bed, she called out, drawing his attention from the living room where he tried to open a cabinet. Still no luck there.
"Spencer? Are you there?"
He wandered over to the bedroom, glad to see she'd left the door cracked open so he could get in. He hesitated before moving, hoping she wouldn't freak out when she saw the door open.
When he did finally gather the courage to move the barrier and step inside, he heard her gasp as she sat up in bed.
"Spencer? Was that you? Um... Move the door again if it was..."
He obliged, swinging the door shut gently as he stepped inside the room. The second the door clicked, he realized his mistake.
Now he was trapped in here with her. Not that it was a bad thing necessarily, but the last time this happened, he'd accidentally intruded on a rather intimate moment. His essence warmed at the thought.
"Holy shit. Um... This is kind of weird... I've gotten your notes and talked to you through the Ouija board, but... seeing you move things in front of me is... only slightly terrifying."
Her nervous laughter endeared him but also made him want to comfort her.
He walked over to the side of the bed closest to her body, hoping she'd be willing to communicate more thoroughly somehow. The two of them together could surely come up with something.
Again, their brains seemed to be on the same wavelength.
"If I hold out my hand... Would you touch it? Just to... let me know that it's you?"
Her arm outstretched, and Spencer slowly brought his middle finger down to touch hers, ever so lightly.
The second there was contact, there was a shock. Spencer jolted and Y/N yelled and yanked her hand back, her whole body shuddering as she kicked her legs. "Oh my God, holy fuck!" And then she laughed, reaching out to search for his touch again. He felt... different somehow, but he was still invisible to her. Her fingers wiggled and Spencer helped her out, gently holding her hand to keep it steady, as if to convey, "I'm right here, and it's okay."
"Hi," she said through a smile, her breathing heavy. "It's... Nice to... finally meet you. Kind of. Kind of meet you, I mean... Not kind of nice. I'm sorry."
He rubbed his thumb gently over the top of hers in response.
"I'm still wrapping my head around this whole thing, I... I guess I just wanted some extra confirmation that you were really here. Can I ask you some questions, Spencer?"
He rubbed her thumb again, and she breathed out with a smile.
"Okay um... Maybe draw a circle on the back of my hand for yes and an X for no... That sound good?"
Spencer traced a circle against her skin, and she nodded. "Good! Okay, cool. This is cool. Um... Did you live here? In this apartment?"
A circle.
"Is... that why you're here now?"
An X, and then a question mark.
"No... You don't know why you're here then?"
A circle.
Y/N pondered for a moment. "Could there be something of yours that's holding you here? Something we have to find or a mystery we have to solve?"
Spencer drew another question mark, then sighed. As much as he liked Y/N, he was pretty sure she would not be able to answer any of those questions. But there had to be another way to... level up, so to speak. To make him visible or audible.
"I'm sorry," she said somberly. "From what I've read, you seem like you were a good person. I hope you figure it out, whatever it is. And... I meant it. If there's anything I can do to help you, I will."
He drew a circle on her skin, but kept going around a few times, his symbol of appreciation.
Y/N warmed at the sentiment, smiling and hanging her head to look down at the hand he was holding. He didn't know it, but her skin was tingling at his invisible touch.
"Spencer... I know this is probably going to be weird... But the night I first met you, when my friends were with me... Robin asked you if... you'd uh... If you'd seen me..."
She wouldn't look up, like she was afraid to look at him even though she still couldn't see him. She didn't finish her sentence, seeming to be embarrassed about the punchline, but Spencer didn't need it. He knew exactly what she meant. Before she had time to retreat or move on, he drew a slow circle on the back of her hand.
Her head lifted. "You did see me? Naked?"
Spencer let out a shaky breath. Hesitated. Then drew another circle, followed by S-O-R-R-Y.
"Oh, I'm not upset, I promise. You don't have to be sorry."
Something shifted in her eyes then and she paused, and Spencer realized that before when she'd asked, she wasn't embarrassed. She was simply feeling the water before diving in.
He swallowed hard.
"Did you like what you saw?"
Her voice was soft, but simultaneously hard with mischief. He looked at her then— truly looked at her with his overly-perfect Afterlife vision, and even in the dim light emanating from the open curtains and the streetlights beyond it, he could see her clear as day. Rather than the big tee-shirt she always wore to bed, tonight she was wearing something lacy and lavender.
And her door was closed. He couldn't leave this room.
Although, he had a feeling right then that it didn't matter anymore. Because his hand tightened over hers instinctively and he felt himself get hard beneath the suit pants he'd been buried in.
That's new, he thought through a sigh of excitement, quickly recalling that night he'd seen her. And heard her. Feeling was growing in his joints, and he found himself flexing his hands with a new strength he hadn't felt since being alive.
"Fuck," he hissed, shaking his head in disbelief.
I think she may be slowly bringing me back to life.
He drew a slow, sensual circle on the back of her hand, and she laughed through a grin. "I was hoping you'd say that. I was also hoping that maybe we could try something a little... unconventional. The truth is, I've always hated living alone. It's too lonely, and I hate it... Now that I have you to keep me company, though... It's not nearly as bad."
She shifted her fingers, grabbing his hand and slowly bringing it to her face. Spencer caressed her as he came closer, his knees now touching the edge of her mattress. She closed her eyes and reveled in his touch, goosebumps forming along her skin.
"Will you touch me, Spencer?"
His name falling suggestively from her lips was quite possibly the greatest thing he'd ever experienced, among life and death. The afterlife. Whatever. None of it mattered, nothing mattered right then except for Y/N and her needs.
He drew a circle on her cheek and she laughed, the sound dissolving into a rather wanton sigh when he traced his middle finger down her jaw and over her throat. Just the gentlest of touches, barely even a touch at all.
"You want this just as bad as I do, don't you?" she asked, lolling her head to the side as his finger traced her collarbone and then her shoulder.
"I do." He focused on the way her chest heaved, slowly up and down as she melted into his touch, and then traced the strap of her nightgown until he reached the front, just at the curve of her breasts.
Y/N arched her back and pulled the covers away from her body, revealing herself to him in full as she got comfortable. She scooted and leaned back against the headboard, pulling Spencer along the side of the bed. He gladly followed.
"I give you permission to touch me in any way you see fit, okay? I... I want you to do whatever feels good to you. How does that sound?"
At the invitation, he quickly let his mind wander to extremely filthy places and wondered if he had the ability to taste again...
The thought alone made him twitch beneath his pants, and suddenly there was no going back.
He let out a long breath and touched the bottom hem of her nightgown. It was already short to begin with, but since she'd moved around in bed and her feet were flat, knees pointed upward, the fabric rode up to the very tops of her thighs. He drew another continuous circle right there, just below where it ended, and Y/N instinctively started to spread her knees apart.
Spencer stopped her, gripping one knee and spelling out W-A-I-T before slipping his shoes and jacket off. She arched an eyebrow, confused at first, but then looked down to the floor when she heard his shoes being kicked back and his clothing falling there.
And then, when he was ready, she looked back to the bed in front of her as Spencer climbed and knelt, positioning himself in front of her. Her eyes watched the mattress move, and a flicker of excitement danced over her features, amusing him.
He placed his hands on her knees, and even though she'd given him permission, he asked anyway, drawing a question mark against her skin.
She nodded. "Please."
Slowly, his hands pulled her legs apart. He drew it out as long as he possibly could, curious to know how long he could test her anticipation threshold. He still planned to give her everything she wanted, of course, but there was something oddly erotic about being touched by somebody you couldn't see that she was obviously keen to explore. So he would take his time until she begged him otherwise.
Sure enough, her stare was laser-focused on her body as he moved it to his liking, her breath hitching once her legs were far enough apart for him to realize she wasn't wearing anything underneath her nightgown and he paused. Already she was glistening with arousal, a sight that nearly made Spencer go completely slack.
"How long have you wanted this..." he wondered aloud, overwhelmed and in awe as his hands traveled firmly down her inner thighs. She squirmed under his bold touch, and leaned her head back against the headboard with a soft thud.
"Please," she whimpered, her hands reaching out to grip whatever bunched up fabric she could find on the bed.
He had planned to test the waters a little longer, ever so the scientist at heart, but figured that was as good of a plea as any to give in and finally give her what she wanted.
And so, Spencer ran a gentle, steady hand down through her heat, dragging his middle finger along the seam until he barely entered her, then came back up.
The long, desperate moan that Y/N drew out was like Heaven to his ears, and he'd never been more grateful for his heightened senses than in that moment. Every breath she took, every gloriously wet sound her body made as he explored her, every rustle of her hands through the sheets... All of it was sharp and crisp, and no other symphony had ever sounded so beautiful.
He wanted more of it.
One finger became two, and Spencer looked up to watch her face as he fingered her slowly. Parted lips and focused eyes fighting to stay open despite the pleasure she was feeling made for quite the perfect view, he almost didn't want to look away. But there was so much to beauty see between her soft facial features and the curves of her body and the obvious arousing sight below him. It was overwhelming how hot he felt in that moment, he could have sworn he was glowing.
His pace quickened, and Y/N had finally given into the temptation to close her yes, her head falling back again as she rolled her hips. He was getting impatient now.
With his other hand, against the inside of her thigh, Spencer spelled out "T-A-S-T-E-?"
"Oh, God, please. Yes."
Still hesitant to scare her even though his fingers were already deep inside her, rather than diving in as he so desperately wanted to, he slowly brought his head down to meet the area between her legs. He turned to press his cheek to the soft flesh of her thigh, and she gasped, the sound fading to a low laugh as she took in the feeling of his mouth and his hair caressing her skin. He kissed her then, tentatively darting his tongue out to taste her and sighing with relief once he realized he could actually taste again. Once he had that revelation, there was no going back. He was a man starved, his kisses growing more hungry as they traveled up and up and up...
Once his tongue made curious contact with the hood of her clit, Y/N gasped again, clutching her bed sheets and rolling her hips up to meet him. Spencer groaned, and a selfish part of him wished she could hear it. He wanted her to know just how crazy she was driving him, how much he wanted her. She could certainly feel it, her reaction to the vibrations causing her muscles to flex and her toes to curl, and he decided then that it would have to do. He was just going to have to make her feel his desire so deeply that it rattled in her bones and lingered there for the rest of eternity. He wanted to ruin everybody else for her, to stay with her until the end of time.
She reached and felt around for his head, fingers threading through invisible curls as she cried out.
"Spencer, you're so— so good..."
He hummed his approval at the praise and continued to work her, adding a third finger and sucking on her clit to feel her fingers tugging at his scalp. The sensation alone had him nearly lightheaded, and he wanted to stay there forever, lost in her taste and her touch and her noises.
God, her noises...
She sighed and whined, and stretched and squelched around his fingers, and he was convinced that had he not already been dead, he would have begged whoever was listening to keep him alive just to experience her forever.
The second she struggled to keep her legs open, trapping his head between them, he knew she was quickly approaching her orgasm, and he couldn't wait. He'd heard her climax before, but being right there as it was happening felt like a privilege he would always be grateful for. He wanted to replicate everything he'd heard that night and get to feel it, too— get to be the one to make her feel that way.
"Fuck, don't stop, I'm s— so close..."
Spencer groaned into her as if to say, "I know, I can feel you." Oh, how he wished he could talk her through it, to tease her with his words... Alas, he had no choice but to encourage her with his actions, so he used his free hand to search for one of hers. She gave up her hand to lace their fingers together, and his thumb continued to draw mindless circles into her skin as she clenched and released, over and over again until she was coming.
"Spencer!" she cried to the air, over and over again as if she could will him into existence again. It was a desperate plea, a manifestation, and the both of them secretly hoped that it would work.
She wanted to see him
He wanted her to see him, too.
He felt her climax subside, and then he slowly eased his fingers out of her and trailed his tongue down to keep tasting. A part of him was scared to realize he might not actually be visible like he hoped, but he pushed the potential disappointment aside and luxuriated in the way she tasted. He delved in and gripped the underside of her thighs to keep them steady, and with a delighted groan as he pushed his tongue inside, Y/N gasped.
"Fuck, I can hear you..."
The words excited him greatly.
"Thank God."
Spencer kissed her, tasted her until she was writhing and begging him to stop.
"Please, Spencer, kiss me."
He pulled away and looked up at her, smiling even though she still couldn't see him. "I am kissing you," he replied, pressing his lips to her thigh.
"You know what I mean. Come here..."
He laughed and obliged, kissing his way up her legs and crawling up her body. He slowly dragged his hands up her stomach, bunching up her nightgown and sliding it up her body the farther he got. Her eyes watched in allure as the fabric rode up and up and up, seemingly on its own. But she knew better, she knew who was undressing her and worshipping her, and it made her squirm.
She lifted her arms over her head and let him take the clothing off, revealing her chest to the chilly air. She watched as the fabric flew to the ground, and then felt Spencer's hands return to her skin, gentle fingers raising goosebumps all over. Her nipples pinched and hardened the closer he got to them, and soon enough he was palming her breasts as he pressed his forehead to hers, wedging his body between her legs.
"Kiss me," she breathed, feeling his nose touch hers. His breath was hot against her own, and her eyes fluttered shut. "Please..."
"Anything for you, sweet girl..."
She sighed as his mouth finally collided with her own, the heady and prominent taste of her arousal growing stronger the deeper he kissed her. Their bodies couldn't stop moving, wandering hands and urgent hips, and with his newfound ability to speak to her, Spencer spoke in gentle praises. He sighed out her name reverently, telling her how good and sweet and perfect she was, and she returned every word with a whimper, in awe that he was really there. He was becoming more and more present, and she couldn't get enough.
"I want to feel you," she said against his lips, dragging her hand down his invisible chest. She fingered through every button of his shirt until it was loose and open, and the cool hum of his skin as she explored his torso made her hands numb.
Spencer kissed her jaw and groaned, feeling himself throb at her words. "Let me help..."
He grabbed her hand and guided her to the bulge in his pants, even though she could have just as easily stumbled onto it herself. The intimacy of it all was almost overwhelming, so much so that when her grip tightened softly on his clothed erection, Spencer almost came undone right then and there.
"Fuck, Y/N... I'd say you're going to be the death of me, but..."
They laughed together until she kissed him again, deeply and with a sigh. "You're becoming more and more real, but... this feels like... it feels like a dream."
He understood what she meant, and it filled him with a tinge of sadness, but her hand slowly palming him was becoming harder and harder to ignore. He gripped her wrist and his breath hitched in her ear as he nipped at it.
"Trust me, sweetheart... I am very real."
She shuddered at his words and squeezed him tighter before fumbling for his belt.
"Spencer... Do you think..." Her hands successfully undid the confines of his pants and started to slide them down over his hips, trying not to mess up her words as he sucked marks into her neck. "Do you think that if you fuck me... I'll finally be able to see you?"
"Mmm, God, I hope so," he groaned earnestly, repositioning themselves so he could kick off his pants and rest her head on the pillow. She let him take the lead, her breath getting heavier with anticipation as he positioned himself between her legs and grabbed her wrist. Once again, he was guiding her hand to his cock, hard and, this time, bare. She cursed under her breath as she gripped him and he helped her languidly stroke himself in exploration. His fingers were strong over hers, and he applied just the right amount of pressure to draw out a groan from the both of them.
"Please," she sighed out desperately through shallow breaths. "Spencer, please, I need you..."
How could he resist?
He didn't even want to entertain the thought of trying.
"Then let me take care of you, sweet girl," he cooed, hiking her thighs to rest over his hips and slowly sinking into her with ease.
Once he was all the way in, he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her temple, comforting her through the low burn. He slowly rolled his hips forward as she cried out his name, her fingers coming up to grip his shoulders. "You feel that?" he whispered into her skin. "How perfectly I fit inside you? It's like you were made for me..."
"Uh-huh," she stuttered in agreement.
He stopped teasing her then, pulling back to start fucking her nice and slow as she adjusted to him. Her fingers curled and knotted into the loose material of his shirt. She would have slid it off of him, but the grip on something steady was nice as she let him focus on his ministrations. He seemed to be doing just fine with the shirt on, anyway, and it was hard to even think about anything other than how good he felt.
She wondered then, as he picked up momentum and started peppering kisses down her jawline, what she looked like to the night. If she were standing there, outside her own body, watching herself being thoroughly and beautifully wrecked by something invisible and obviously enjoying every second...
Her eyes rolled back at the image, just as Spencer started going harder. His hips snapped into hers with a strength and precision that felt like it was rattling worlds. It very well could have been, and neither of them had any mind to care; They were so intensively intertwined with each other that it was a different world entirely.
They started to burn hot, that familiar warm chill of impending pleasure creeping up through their bodies and setting them alight. Y/N snaked her arms up to Spencer's neck and brought him down for a searing kiss as she melted into him, and he returned it with a fervor that elicited the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. He felt it all the way in his bones, felt the waves of pleasure start to drag him under as she squeezed him with her limbs and started to come undone herself.
The atmosphere around them was purely electrifying, bright snaps of skin and sharp whispers of mouth combining to brew a perfect storm that nothing would ever survive. It was wild and unconstrained, glimmering and grand, and in their wake, the two entities left their desire lingering in the air for the dead of night to stew in for as long as it would allow.
Spencer collapsed on top of her with a hefty sigh, and he was grateful to be able to finally share his voice with her. The mystery and simplicity of the X's and O's were fun to indulge in at first, but now that they'd grown closer and created something beautiful and memorable together, he had to tell her exactly how he felt— no symbols, no mysteries...
He kissed her softly and pulled back to look into her eyes, dragging a thumb over her cheekbone as he told her the truth.
"You're perfect."
Her eyes went wide, welling with tears as she reached up and ran a finger softly along the bridge of his nose.
"You're beautiful."
Relief and something else—something warm—stirred in Spencer's chest at the confirmation that she could finally see him, and that she was moved by what she saw. Who she saw...
He couldn't help the smile that adorned his face, and the soft joyous laughter that escaped him as she continued to explore his features with the pads of her fingertips, like she was trying to memorize him from touch alone in case he suddenly disappeared again.
"I mean it, Spencer, you're... even more beautiful than I imagined."
"You imagined me?" he inquired rather suggestively.
With a laugh, she brought him down for a slow, searing kiss. "Duh..."
Even though they were tired, they stayed like that for hours, kissing and exploring and sighing until the sweet lull of sleep took hold and carried them through the night.
For a solid few hours until he awoke, Spencer completely forgot that he wasn't alive.
ACT III: Unfinished Business
Y/N had never done so much research in her entire life. She liked Spencer, and she was more than happy to help him out, but man... Reading dozens of articles and textbooks and blogs about the different types of spirits and how to lay them to rest was a long, exhausting road that led pretty much nowhere. There was no way to know what type of ghost Spencer was or how to help him move on, not that she could see, anyway. She didn't know if he'd age with her, or be 'undead' long enough to become vicious and bitter like a lot of the spirits she read about, and Spencer's research was just about as inconclusive as her own.
A selfish part of her hoped she'd never find out, to keep him around forever... But she also knew that wasn't fair to him. No matter how lonely she was or how much fun they had and how they enjoyed each other's company, well... The fact of the matter was, he was dead.
And he deserved to rest.
In the meantime, in the hours between headache-inducing frustration at the lack of answers, Spencer told her about his life. His friends, mostly— the best people he'd ever known. The way he described them, she had a feeling that they might hold the key to his dilemma. If not directly, perhaps there was something about him that they knew, something that might give Y/N some insight into his ghostly purpose, so to speak. Not that she couldn't ask Spencer directly, but they'd already discussed a lot of back-and-forth on enemies and people that could have wanted to harm him, all of which were surefire impossibilities. Not to mention the fact that he seemed tied to this apartment and not anything else. Maybe that didn't have anything to do with it, but neither of them knew.
It was the only other option she had.
They laid next to each other in her bed, her head laying on his chest. Her ear warmed gently, and tried as she might to hear a heartbeat, all she could hear was a faint white noise, almost like he was merely a figure of tangible energy rather than a body. She supposed that was technically what he was, but as much as she'd grown to know and like Spencer, it was hard to think of him that way. It was... sad to think of him that way.
She frowned and nestled into him, trying to push away that petulant nagging in the depths of her soul that screamed "This isn't fair!" and she told him the most difficult thing she'd ever had the courage to push past her lips.
"I think I have an idea... You can say no if you think it's too weird, but... It might help you. Maybe."
"Mmm, what's that?" he responded, curious but not audibly hopeful. It made Y/N even more sad to think he probably figured he'd never find peace.
"What if I go talk to your friends? Do you think they might know something you don't?"
There was a beat of silence before she felt his chest heave with gentle laughter. "Derek Morgan definitely wouldn't think so..."
Recalling some of the funny stories he'd told her about him, she smiled. Still, she pressed. "I mean it. What other outlets do we have? Where else is there to look? If there's anyone who knows you better than anyone else, wouldn't it be them?"
Spencer sighed, giving it a thought. His fingers raked through her hair and massaged her scalp to the point of gentle, comforting numbness, another one of those domestic moments that had her feeling absolutely conflicted.
And then, he said, "Actually... I think I know exactly who you should talk to..."
———
There was a deep chill in her bones as she approached Penelope Garcia's apartment building, but not because of the lively, rustling October wind. In fact, she wanted to throw up at the thought of having this conversation. But not because she didn't want to help Spencer. She did, more than anything.
She was just afraid of being arrested.
Spencer assured her that it would be fine and that Penelope was harmless, and while the latter she could believe, it still nerved her to wander up to a woman's door and announce that she lived in the apartment of her beloved dead co-worker and needed to help him fulfill his destiny as a spirit. It sounded like a cruel joke.
"If anyone would believe you, it would be Penelope," he'd said, comforting her with a pat on the shoulder.
Maybe it was true, but she didn't want to find out if it wasn't. It was one thing to have the door slammed in your face by a grief-stricken loved one, but a grief-stricken loved one who worked for the fucking FBI was ten times worse; There were a lot more horrifying outcomes that came with that combination.
Still, she trusted Spencer on a level she'd barely trusted anyone else, and he wasn't even alive for God's sake... So she strapped on her boots, threw on her most comfortable jacket, and braced the wind and whatever fate blew with it.
For Spencer.
"For Spencer," she muttered under her breath as she rapped on the door. Three times. Third time's the charm, three's a crowd, three clicks of the heel and you're home... Three seemed like a lucky number. Three was inviting, friendly, not intended to inflict emotional damage.
Please, God, don't let her hate me, Y/N prayed to whoever was listening. Don't let this go horribly wrong.
A bright voice was yelling beyond the door, and with every millisecond that it got louder and closer, her heart started to beat faster. Blood thrummed in her ears, and she kept repeating, "For Spencer, for Spencer, for Spencer," on a loop to remind her why she was going through all this anxiety.
The voice got closer, but still muffled, until the door swung open. Then it stopped altogether. Y/N blinked and stood there with a stiff back and sweaty palms, in front of Penelope Garcia. The woman was obviously expecting somebody else to be at the door, but she didn't look disappointed, just confused.
"Oh. You're not Luke. How can I help you?"
"Um... My name is Y/N. I... Before I tell you why I'm here, I need you to know that I'm not trying to play a trick on you, and I don't want to make you sad or upset, and if there's anything you need or want to know about me in order to trust me, then I'll gladly give you that information, but this is really important and I need you to know that I'm not crazy or harmful, I just want to help him."
Penelope's eyes went wide as she reached out and grabbed her hand. The thrumming in her ears got louder as she took a deep breath and waited for the yelling to start, her body to be thrown to the ground, or a sharp piercing sting of a backhand.
The only thing she felt, however, was a tug at her heart and the gentle dissipation of nerves as Penelope spoke one simple word.
"Spencer."
"How... How did you know?"
"Ever since he... Since he's been... I just knew something didn't feel right. Everyone told me that it was just grief, and for a while that's also what I told myself, but... That feeling was just too... Wait, who did you say you were again?"
Y/N stuttered her name and gripped Penelope's hand tighter, hoping to create some rapport. "I live in his apartment. He's been... Visiting me."
Something in her eyes softened and then saddened at the confirmation that her friend was somehow still among the living. "A visitor in his own home... Poor Boy Genius..."
She couldn't help but smile at the nickname. "He said you called him that often..."
Wide eyes welling with tears, Penelope nodded and tugged at her visitor's hand. "He was the smartest person I ever knew. Kindest, too. Here, come on inside, I'll make you some tea. Do you like tea? Maybe some hot chocolate?"
Her hospitality as she ushered her inside was both comforting and saddening to Y/N. It was in her nature to be that way to guests, even strangers, sure, but it also acted as a shield from the somber feelings she'd been rushed with at a moment's notice, no thanks to said stranger.
"I'm so sorry to bother you, Penelope," Y/N rushed as she shrugged her coat off. "You don't have to make me anything."
"Oh, I know I don't have to, but would you like something warm to drink?"
She was practically begging for the distraction, something to do with her hands as she had time to process and prepare for what was about to happen.
"Tea would be lovely, thank you."
"Perfect, I'll get it started. Make yourself comfortable, Sweets."
She carried her coat over her arms, holding it to her chest like a tether to reality. None of this felt real, even though she could still feel the warm glow of Spencer's energy all around her, like it had burrowed into the pores of her skin and made a home there.
As she looked around at Penelope's bright and colorful space, she thought about him... How often had he been here? What did they do together, and where did they hang out? She imagined the laughter and the stories and the cooking... She wished she would have known him then, been a part of his life. As scary as he told her it was at times, she knew there were also plenty of bright spots, and she knew Penelope was definitely one of the brightest.
Y/N smiled, hugging her coat tighter.
"I like your apartment," she complimented, sitting down at a small dining table in the corner.
"Thank you! I always told Spencer he should get some more color, but... What can I say, he really loved his neutrals."
The familiar detail brought a smile to her face. "That doesn't surprise me. He told me that even though he likes me, he really hates my floral couch and that it looked weird in his apartment. I told him he was boring." And, that technically, it was her apartment now. In fact, her exact words after the fact were, "What are you going to do, haunt me?" before they both laughed and continued making out on said couch.
But she didn't need to remind Penelope of the fact that he was gone. Or to inform her that she was intimately involved with his ghost.
Just the thought alone was enough to make the low, ever-present hum of his imprinted memory on her skin even more intense, and she smiled.
"Oh... I know that look."
Y/N looked up at Penelope, who was grinning with the most mischievous gleam in her eye.
"What look?"
"You think he's cute, don't you?"
"I... I don't..."
"Well, I suppose even if you can't see him, I'm sure he's charmed you anyway. And you probably Googled him."
"How did you—"
"It's what I would have done... So?" she prompted, still waiting for an answer of some kind.
Y/N sighed, defeated and impressed by Penelope's skills at quickly retrieving information. But she also didn't want to lie to her, so she had no choice but to answer her questions with the truth anyway. "Well, I can see him. But I couldn't at first. My um... My friends came over one night, and they brought a Ouija board. We used it for shits and giggles because I'd joked to them after I moved in that I didn't feel totally alone, and well..."
"It wasn't a joke?"
Penelope brought over the tea, steaming and aromatic. Y/N took it with a nod of thanks and sighed as she sat down across from her.
"No. But I didn't actually think I was living with a ghost, I mean... I didn't believe in that stuff. But I also wasn't going to risk pissing him off, so I tried to be nice to him. I only knew his name, and then my friends looked him up and we read his obituary, and... I don't know, I guess I just thought he seemed like a good person, so he deserved some kindness in the afterlife. I said hello to the air every time I came home from work, I yelled out a good night before going to bed... And then he started leaving me notes on my bathroom mirror, and I guess... I don't know, the more he and I got to know each other, the easier things became. Eventually he could touch things, and then soon after he was audible, then visible..."
She conveniently left out the details of that journey, though her skin warmed again at the memory.
"And now that we can communicate, it's become clear to me that he doesn't know where he's going— Why he's not at rest... I feel bad for him. He deserves..." Her breath caught in her throat, and she swallowed hard before looking down at the mug in her hand. "He deserves to move on."
Penelope was quiet for a moment as Y/N sipped her tea. Her hand reached out to grab hers, and the gesture almost had her in tears.
"You sound... Sad about that."
She couldn't help the pressure that pulsed behind her eyes, stabbing at her throat... Still, she made herself speak, barely above a whisper to prevent that inevitable cracking of the voice that would surely break the dam she was trying so hard to keep still and strong. "I... I know it sounds absolutely crazy..."
"You're falling in love with him."
Though the words didn't come from her own mouth, they came flying at her like a sucker punch to the gut. The wind was knocked out of her for a moment, until all she could do was exhale and let the tears fall silently as she nodded.
Penelope let her cry for a minute or two without a word while holding her hand, until she was ready to elaborate. "But I can't... I can't keep him here, it's not right. If he doesn't have any unfinished business, then he should be put to rest. And I... I don't know how to help him. I thought maybe, if I could talk to the people who knew him the best... I could get an idea."
"Oh, Honey, I... I'm sorry, but I don't know any more than you do." She was talking through tears herself, and Y/N squeezed her hand back. "His mother's been gone for years now, and there's no other family that he was close enough with to even consider, other than us, but... Truthfully I don't know if we really count in the grand scheme of things... I'd like to think that we do..."
"You might not be blood-related, but you were his family. He loved you so much, I could tell by the way he spoke about all of you. He... He misses you a lot. I just wish he didn't have to feel that loss anymore."
Penelope frowned. "I wish I could give you an answer... When you go back to him... Will you at least tell him that we love him?"
"He already knows. But yes. I will."
"And I'll keep on thinking. Whatever you need, you got it. I have access to pretty much everything so if there's information to be had, I will get my paws on it, and you will know. Thank you for coming to see me. And for telling me that Spencer's okay... He is okay, right?"
Y/N hesitated. She wasn't entirely sure how to answer without giving away their extra-curricular activities. "I think so. He's tired, I can tell. But I do my best to keep him happy. The last thing I need is to have him angrily haunting me."
Penelope laughed, then sighed. "Unfortunately, I think that means you better get rid of that glorious couch, then."
The laughter was a welcome break from the tears, which had already started to dry on her skin, leaving her cheeks itchy. "I really appreciate you being so kind, Penelope... Losing Spencer must have been absolutely impossible, and having a complete stranger show up at your door and pour salt in the wound... I couldn't imagine..."
"Y/N... If there was any person on this planet who could have moved into his apartment and helped him through this... I think I speak for the whole BAU when I say that he's lucky it's you."
The sentiment made her chest tight, and an involuntary pout tugged at her mouth. "You... You really mean that?"
Penelope laughed and squeezed her hand again. "Oh, Darling, you even pout like him... You're kind of perfect for each other."
"I don't know whether to be happy or sad about that," she replied through a fit of hysterics, and Penelope joined her.
It was clear then that these two women were meant to bond seamlessly over the loss of someone dear, one in life and the other in death. They were two sides of the same coin, a best friend and an anchor to the other side. It was a solace that neither of them had expected, but welcomed with open arms and warm understanding.
They exchanged stories and laughs and phone numbers and hugs, and joked about exchanging addresses, and a while later, just as Y/N was about to go home, fastening her coat, Penelope stopped her.
"Wait... I don't mean to make you sad or anything, and maybe this isn't the answer that either of you were looking for... But after today? If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Spencer's unfinished business is you."
The thought froze her entirely. It would stand to reason that they were meant to find each other, only to let each other go. Because, of course. Nobody was ever that lucky, especially neither Spencer nor his new roommate.
Sensing her overthinking, Penelope continued. "I know it's unfortunate given the circumstances, but... You did say that the more you got to know him, the more... alive he became. At least as alive as he can be. And I've only known you for about an hour, but I can confidently say that you are about as perfect for Spencer as somebody could be for anybody. And..."
She shifted on her feet, unsure of whether she should actually say what she was about to tell her, but obviously needing to make her point with as much context as possible. "You know, he's tried. He watched many of us find love and have families of our own, and he's always wanted that, but... He never got to have it. I think... that was the one thing that he always truly and completely wanted, especially after his mom passed and he had no one left but us... Somebody to go home to, somebody who understood him and cared about him and wanted to spend the rest of their lives with him... A soulmate. And... Y/N, I think it might be you."
Her head was swimming and tears were blurring her vision again. As much as she wanted to believe it, ever the lover of grand romantic endings, it didn't make sense. She didn't really believe in soulmates, did she? Then again, she didn't believe in ghosts, either, until recently...
"How could you possibly know that?" she whispered to Penelope, hoping for a switch in her brain to flip. She wanted to believe it. She wanted to dash home and confidently confess to the ghost living in her apartment that they were made for each other and that she could finally set him free.
And... Then what?
There had to be another explanation.
"I wish I could tell you how, definitively," Penelope answered sadly, "and like I said, I don't want to upset you... But it's just a feeling. And my feelings are hardly ever wrong. Hey, I mean I had a feeling that Spencer was still out there somehow, and that turned out to be true, right?"
"I... I guess," she sniffled.
"Just... Do me a favor, okay? Think about it. Spend tonight with him, like you normally do, and really really think about it. And tell me you don't feel it."
It almost sounded like a playful challenge rather than a request. Y/N wiped at her eyes and sighed. "You're really sure?"
"Positive."
Y/N wasn't really sure if she believed it still, but there was a conviction in Penelope's voice that was too sincere to ignore. And Spencer trusted her, which obviously meant a lot.
So, she promised that she would think about it anyway, bade her new friend farewell, and made her way outside, where the wind had died and left the streets lifeless and quiet.
———
Something was different about Y/N when she came home.
Spencer tried to let her go about the night and refrain from saying anything, but after regretfully informing him that Penelope had no wisdom to offer her about their situation but would get back to her if anything did come to mind, she was... odd. Perhaps she was just as tired as he was in trying to solve this mystery, or just tired in general. But he didn't want to push her if she didn't want to open up, so he did what he could and offered his company.
Still, she didn't seem right.
He thought maybe a flurry of warm, tender kisses along her skin would put her in high spirits, but the longer she let him worship her skin without so much as a sigh in return, it started to sink in that something was deeply wrong.
"Are you okay?" he asked sweetly, stroking her jaw with the back of his hand as he looked her in the eye. She looked at him for only a few seconds before averting her gaze, like if she allowed him to meet her eyes for any longer, he'd pull something from her that she'd rather not share. It sent a small wave of panic through him. "Y/N, talk to me, please... What's wrong? Did something happen?"
"No," she said unconvincingly.
"You don't... have to talk about it if you don't want to... But you're upset about something, and I want to help you. I'll do whatever you need me to. I'll listen, I'll leave you alone, I'll kiss it better... Whatever you want. It's yours."
She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, defeated. "God, you FBI people are too good at getting information out of people, it's annoying."
Spencer laughed. "It wasn't my intention to make you feel interrogated. I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm just... I'm..."
She couldn't seem to get out the words, like there was a frustrating lack of understanding how to convey them. He drew continuous circles gently into her palm and waited patiently for her to open up, silently promising that he would be there for her when she finally found the right words.
It was a question that she finally settled on. "Have you ever been in love? Like... Really in love?"
Something inside him jolted at the thought of where this conversation might lead. If he had a heartbeat, it would have raced and thrummed so heavily that the organ might have failed. In truth, he'd been thinking about it for a week or two now. Ever since the night he realized that his interactions with her were the key to becoming more sentient, the thought crossed his mind that perhaps she was the thing he was tethered to.
He didn't dare say it out loud, or to her face, because... Well, it was too soon, wasn't it? And it wouldn't have mattered anyway, because once he was lain to rest, they could never be together.
It was complicated.
"I think I was, a few times," he finally answered in earnest. "And to be fair, just because things didn't work out with them, it doesn't mean I didn't really love them. I did. But... I think deep down I knew they weren't really The One... Does that make sense?"
"I think so... I don't think I've ever been in love before. Even with long-term partners, we said the words, and I felt something that was happy and I thought was love, but..." She paused, avoiding his eye again before rapidly blinking back tears. "Now I feel this... this anchor to you that I can't let go of... I want to be around you all the time and I know it's not fair because you deserve to rest, but I can't help it. Spencer, I... You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I'm afraid that once I really admit it out loud, you'll be gone forever."
He knew, then, that this was it. Listening intently as she confessed, absorbing every word and allowing himself to feel and admit what he knew to be true for a while now, his body began to tingle. It was so dull at first, he almost mistook the feeling for 'butterflies'. It felt cruel not to tell her that he was starting to fade, but he didn't want to ruin the moment or panic her. He didn't want to tell her that she was running out of time. That they were running out of time.
So, instead, to try and ease the blow, he told her something sweet.
He told her, "I love you."
Her eyes glossed over at the confession. She reached urgently for his hands, her grip strong and willing like she knew what was going to happen. And maybe she did. Still, she sat there and listened to him, her eyes taking in every inch of his presence and committing him to memory.
He aimed to make it a memory she would never forget.
"I don't know when we'll see each other again, but I don't doubt that we will. Not for a second. And until then, my only wish is that you keep allowing yourself to fall in love. Don't be afraid of it. You shouldn't deny yourself just because I'm gone. Can you promise me that you'll try?"
Y/N blinked away tears and tugged at his hands. "What if I can't?"
"You will, my sweet girl. And I promise, I won't be mad at you."
She laughed despite herself, then almost cried again when she felt his presence start to fizzle and break in front of her eyes. She was desperate to hold on to him, clutching his hands for dear life and breathlessly whispering, "I love you, Spencer Reid," as if the conviction alone would be enough to keep him here. As if whatever cruel deity was putting them through this would see how much she needed him and decided to spare her the misery.
"I wish I could have known you when I was alive," he told her, leaning in closer. "Maybe we could have been neighbors."
She smiled through tears and pressed her forehead to his, the contact making her skin go numb. Silently she hoped that wherever he was going, she would be sucked in with him. "Then I would have invited you over for dinner."
He squeezed her hands, already feeling his grip fading, his essence nearly numbing him. Still, he willed himself to stay long enough to paint this life for the two of them—one they would never get to have, except only in dreams and perhaps in another life entirely. Anything was possible, after all.
"And I still would have made fun of your ugly couch."
"And I would have pushed you onto it and made you take it back."
"And I would have refused."
"And I would have kissed you ."
"And I would have kissed you back."
"And I would have fallen in love with you immediately."
"And I would have sworn that I'd fall in love with you in every universe."
She closed her eyes, feeling the very last remnants of his presence as she whispered, "I think it's safe to assume that you already have."
"And I think I'm inclined to agree."
THE END
#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader smut#spencer reid#mercy after hours
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ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ❝ 𝐢𝐟 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧’ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞, 𝐨𝐡 𝐧𝐨 ❞
eye contact with abby is something she loves a little too much. at first, she didn’t know what to do when she found you always looking at her when she would talk, or listen to a conversation. if it was her speaking, and you looked so into what she was saying, abby would get caught off guard few a couple seconds as her baby blues found yours already concentrating on her, and only her. you’d be nodding to her words, and your lips would curve up into a smile when she said something that made her laugh, a happy memory that would trigger her to smile and sometimes giggle. you watched it all. never once missing anything to do with her.
you’re the same with abby, but you don’t notice like she does sometimes, if you’re talking about something that happened to you that day, her intense stare catches you off guard. half the time, she isn’t even aware she’s staring at you that much or often until you splutter out a little “you’re just looking at me like that, can’t focus.” and she thinks it’s the cutest thing possible. how you get all shy and stammer on your words. at certain times, and points of any conversation, abby can’t help but smirk more at all of your reactions to her staring. the roles reversing just slightly that now has you the one looking away shyly, trying to regain your composure.
or the nights inside, in the warmth with a warm cup of hot chocolate in your hands, and she’s too focused on the movie you’ve both decided to watch and when she turns her head to ask you if you’re enjoying it, she already catches you looking at her with a soft expression on your face and a smile resting on your lips. abby’s face flushes a crimson red, but you can barely see it under the dark lights, but it’s there and she welcomes it so easily that she just gives you a lazy grin that had you reaching over and tucking a strand of her loose hair behind her ear. “you’re so cute,” you can’t help but mumble and press your lips to her temple. the softness of your words and actions had her melting more into your touch by the second, the movie long abandoned.
“you’re cuter,” abby smiled softly up at you, brushing her knuckles over your cheek slowly. “much much cuter than me.” a giggle fell from between her lips when you leaned down just to kiss her forehead, your lips resting against her skin and had her sighing contently against you. “cutest girl i’ve ever seen” came her truthful whisper.
“i don’t believe you,” you smiled, lightly brushing strands of her hair away from her face. “you are undeniably the most handsome yet beautiful person i’ve ever met. i get lost in your eyes for hours, i love the color and i love how you look at me.”
“like what?”
“like nothing around us matters. not when you look at me like that,” you pointed out, those baby blues peering into yours like you both were truly the only two people in the world. “when you look at me like that, nothing but us matter. if i have you, i don’t need anything else.”
“maybe it’s true,” abby smiles, reaching her hand up to cup your cheek. “maybe it’s true that when i’m with you, nothing else is important” the pad of her thumb brushes against your cheekbone, and her heart melts in her chest when you’re leaning into her touch. “because nothing but you matters. you’re the only person that matters to me.”
leaning more into her hand, you kiss her palm tenderly and smile down at her. her thumb quickly catches the tear that rolls down your cheek without hesitation, and wipes it away softly with another gentle smile. “i didn’t know true love, not until i met you.” you mumbled, more or so speaking into her palm.
“i’ll show you every day how much i love you,” the blonde promised, removing her hand from your face to wrap both her arms around you, tugging you carefully into her chest. your head rests comfortably on her shoulder as her fingers run up and down your back. “i’ve never had a love like yours. didn’t think i deserved it, but it’s different with you. with you, i have a purpose to get out of bed every day, with you i don’t feel scared, with you i feel at home. i love you more than the sky needs stars and i’ll never stop showing you how much i love you.”
#abby anderson x reader#abby anderson x you#abby anderson fluff#abby anderson#abby anderson drabble#abby anderson x fem!reader#abby anderson x female reader
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No Matter What- Aemond T.
Aemond is in love, and he refused to allow his nephew to have her. He will take her from Jacaerys by any means necessary.
Am I just going to keep writing my fics as if Season 2 didn’t happen at all?
Yeah…it’s very likely, yes🤣🤣
Also, for the person that DM’d me and asked if I have a name in mind for Y/n when I write for Aemond, yes. In my mind when I write, her name is Rhaella, I just think it’s the most beautiful Targaryen name I’ve heard. I also love Visenya but I feel it’s overused. The only other name I would potentially use would be Saera.
She was surprised by her Uncles attitude from the moment she first saw him again.
Y/n and Aemond had been best friends in their childhood. She had climbed onto the back of the Grey Ghost when she was only 5 years old (most people believing that the Dragon knew they were the same when it came to how shy and avoidant they were).
They hadn’t been close up until that point, only being 5 and 6 years old and both being outcasts among their family (though she almost preferred it that way). Y/n had offered to take Aemond with her flying one night after Aegon, Jace and Luke had ridiculed him again and he actually agreed, resting his hand on the nose of a dragon for the first time as Y/n calmed him. Climbing into the saddle and holding onto his niece had been awkward and a bit embarrassing until they were in the air and Aemond knew he was truly born for this.
From then on Y/n offered to take him with her quite often, always after their brothers had bullied one of them again. She comforted him, even once letting Aemond take the reigns and fly Ghost himself (which the pale dragon didn’t like at all sadly and only lasted a few moments), but the fact that she had done it meant the world to him. He promised to take Y/n with him on his dragon as soon as he mounts one, wanting desperately to impress her.
Aemond was Obsessed
Their friendship lasted like that for almost 4 years before that horrible night when Aemond was attacked by her brothers. He had been so excited to tell her about Vhagar, he had actually been running inside to wake her and take her flying like he promised when he was cut off.
She had held his hand from the moment she ran in, trying to comfort him as much as she was able until her mother pulled her away. Aemond raged when she was dragged away from his side but he was held down by Criston Cole from trying to take his Princess back, Daemon carrying the 9 year olds squirming body out and away from him.
As they all left the next morning he tried to find her, Rhaenyra glaring at him as he searched the courtyard and he knew her mother hadn’t let her come and say “goodbye”…that night was the last time he saw her for almost 9 years…
It was the worst thing Rhaenyra could have done. She had made her younger brother desperate, and desperate men do desperate things…he would have her back. No Matter What.
Aemond dreamed about nothing but his niece every single day after, determined to make her his despite the fact that her mother would never betroth her to him. He knew the only way he could make her his wife was to take her and make it the only option, Alicent would most definitely force their wedding very quickly rather than watch the only “legitimate” grandchild of her husband (other than his brother and sisters 3 children) carry a child unwed (as she was Daemons daughter “secretly” but could at least be passed off as not being Harwin Strongs).
When he finally saw her again he felt his breath stolen from his body, she was stunning, the most gorgeous creature he had ever laid eyes on. A women now, standing just shorter than Jace as she watched him in his training session with Cole. Aemond fought hard, determined to show her what he had become and he quickly ended the fight with his sword at his trainers throat.
‘Well done my Prince. You’ll be winning tourneys in no time.’
Aemond rolled his eyes at that. ‘I don’t give a shit about tourneys…nephews. Have you come to train?’ He questioned, looking over the both of them before making eye contact with Y/n who blushed heavily as he did. ‘Niece. It is a pleasure to lay eyes on you again…and you are truly a sight to behold.’ He stepped closer, shoving himself between the Strongs to take her hand in his, lifting it to his lips and looking into her lovely purple eyes. Aemond was comforted to see no fear or disgust on her face, but her beautiful blush was something he wanted to see forever. ‘You are just as gorgeous as I imagined you to be.’ He whispered, leaning close to her ear.
‘Thank you Uncle. You have become ever more handsome, a man grown. The ladies must be fighting tooth and nail for your affections.’ She teased, however before he could respond and insist that he wanted no affections but her own, her bastard brother snatched her hand from his.
‘I would thank you to keep your hands to yourself Uncle, my betrothed should not be touched by anyone but me.’ Jace spoke with a smirk on his face. Anyone with eyes knew Aemond had always been in love with Y/n and his nephew was smug to be able to take any kind of happiness away from him as he always had done.
Aemond composed himself immediately, smiling down at him kindly but Jace could see the rage in his eye, the silent threat that he was giving being clear. ‘I suppose congratulations are in order then.’ And though he said it, he gave none before smiling at Y/n who was then pulled in the opposite direction and out of the courtyard.
‘I do not want to see him touching you again, do you understand me?’ Jace demanded as they got into the castle, Y/n pulling her hand from his angrily.
‘You are not yet my husband brother, don’t you dare order me as if you are. I still have plenty of time to tell mother I would rather be betrothed to anyone but you and that Baela can be Queen by your side one day. I am not an object for you to take possession of!’ And with that she stormed off, Aemond around the corner having heard the whole thing. He knew exactly how to get his girl to be his…though he doubted it would be hard with how his nephew treated his Queen.
‘You should be kinder to your future Queen-‘
‘She is mine, whether she likes it or not. I am to be the King one day, she cannot refuse me.’ Jace joked with Luke who snorted, Aemond turning and leaving the hall. Y/n was his future wife, no matter what he had to do to make sure of it.
After the horrific meeting to attempt to give Driftmark to anyone but Luke he was sadly reestablished as heir thanks to the King and Aemond found himself in a bit of trouble with everyone at dinner after calling his nephews Strong.
All of them were sent to their chambers and he hightailed it back to her chamber, slipping in before his niece and her guard arrived, hiding behind the wardrobe in case anyone came in with her.
‘I am tired Jacaerys, all I want is a good, long sleep. Just leave me be for the night, I will not answer you if you come back! I need no protection from you!’ She snapped as the door opened.
‘If Aemond-‘
‘Aemond is not here! And now you are not here either, go to your own chambers and give me a night of peaceful sleep after all of this Bullshit!’ She slammed the door, locking it instantly and Aemond could feel his cock hardening in his breeches. Something about hearing her reject Jace was a turn on for him in a major way and he wanted to mark her neck up with as many bite marks as possible, he needed to show his nephew who his Princess truly belonged to.
‘That was impressive.’ Aemond spoke, seeing her nearly jump a foot in the air as she gasped. ‘Apologies, I didn’t mean to frighten you…I just wanted to see you. I knew your betrothed would not allow you even a moment in my presence.’ Her eyes were slit instantly as he said this.
‘Jace thinks he can control me but I will not let myself be that kind of wife! I am not an object to be owned, to be ordered around in front of his friends to make him look like a strong man or King! I do not want to be his wife or his Queen!’ She snapped and Aemond did his best to look at her softly, wanting her to see his empathy and her eyes widened as she realized what she had done. ‘I am so sorry Kepus! You did not deserve that, I am not angry at you. I am so-‘ (Uncle)
‘Breathe Byka Dārilaros…it is alright. I understand how angry he makes you feel, I hate him as well, remember?’ He teased and she chuckled before stepping forward and not hesitating to wrap her arms around his body, resting her head on his chest. (Little Princess)
‘I missed you so much Kepus…I wanted to write to you but my mother wouldn’t let me. She said it was a betrayal to Luke and that since you didn’t write to me, you clearly wouldn’t care but I-‘
‘I did write to you. I sent letters for months before I received one from my sister telling me to stop, that you did not want to hear from me but I knew that was a lie . There was not a single day that passed that I did not think about how much I missed you…’ Aemond looked down at her, his arms around her to hold her to him, hesitating only a moment as he looked into her soft eyes and pressed his lips to hers.
She surprised him a bit when she didn’t hesitate to kiss him back, her hands moving to hold his shirt tightly as he took her face into his and held her close. Y/n was his everything and he had been craving for this exact moment since he was 6 years old, wanting to kiss her since the moment they first flew together. She will be his and he will keep her close forever, determined to never let anyone touch what is his ever again-especially Jace.
‘You are so perfect…’ he mumbled against her lips before pulling away and resting his forehead on hers. ‘Do you want this? I don’t want to force you into anything you do not desire, my love…however I want you to be mine. I have craved you for so many years and I will cherish the ground you walk on if you will be mine.’ Aemond knew giving her the choice would make the difference in pushing her to do what she wanted even against her mothers wishes.
‘I love you Kepus, I always have…our mothers will never-‘
‘There is a way…My mother will insist upon it if I have already filled you with my son…’ he tried to speak softly, let her know that it is her choice to make. ‘I love you Byka Dārilaros, and I want you to be my wife more than anything. The thought of being forced to marry another turns my stomach however I will never force myself upon you. If you would marry Jace then I will love you from afar…but if you want me then I will make love to you right here and now. I will pleasure you all night long until you are so full of me there is no doubt you carry my son and then I will sleep inside of your pretty little cunt for our family to find come morning…let me love you in every way that he can’t.’ There were tears in her eyes as he finished speaking to her and he moved to wipe them away before she spoke again. Y/n reached up, taking the eyepatch covering his sapphire into her fingers before he caught her wrist awkwardly. No lady had ever seen his face and not been uncomfortable or disgusted by it which is why he always covered it whenever he wasn’t alone in his room or in the library.
‘I would look upon your face and see all that you are…while you fill me with our first child.’ He looked at her, startled for a moment before he released her hand and she pulled the eyepatch off.
‘First of many…I will fill you with as many children as you desire.’ Aemond promised before kissing her again, his hands moving to the back of her dress where he unlaced the corset and pulled it down her arms, lifting her out of the dress and moving to drop her onto the bed. She pulled off her small clothes as she watched him remove his shirt and breeches, leaving him bare and revealing his hard cock that was already leaking. ‘You are so beautiful, my love…tell me that you’re mine.’ Aemond insisted, his hand giving his member a firm stroke.
‘I’m yours Kepus, all yours forever.’ She promised as he crawled over her, kissing his jaw and down his neck sweetly. She was just so precious he couldn’t help the needy feeling in his chest demanding he take her.
‘All mine! Should any man look at you even a moment too long ever again, I will remove their eyes and feed them to the ravens.’ Aemond pushed her legs apart more so that he could settle between them, feeling her wetness on his cock for the first time and nearly cumming on the spot. He gave her a moment to relax herself upon pushing into her however she shocked him once again, moaning like a whore only a moment later prompting him to shove his hand over her mouth. ‘If someone hears you then your guard will come in here and we will be dragged apart. I would hear your lovely moans forevermore once I’ve filled your cunt but for now you must hush.’ She whined but bit her bottom lip hard to keep from making any loud noises. Aemond loved the knowledge that he could make her moan like that, in love with fucking her body already as he thrust up into her roughly. Her nails dug into his shoulders, scratching down his back painfully which sent a rush of pleasure through his belly upon him sucking hard on her throat, biting into her perfect skin quite hard and covering her mouth with a hand once again as she nearly screamed, her pussy tightening around his cock in a way he had never felt before which practically dragged his own end from his body. ‘Gods be good, I’ve never felt anything like that before…you felt good?’ It was an insecure moment of him needing that reassurance and while with anyone else he would have been instantly embarrassed, she nodded, quite dazed it seemed and he knew she didn’t judge him for a moment. ‘Your cunt is a form of blissful ecstasy I did not know was attainable. You are mine now Y/n…say it…’
‘Yours Aemond…all yours…you will be my husband as soon as next week and you will be able to have me anytime and any place you desire. I never thought it could feel like that…I love you Kepus.’ Her words touched him and in that moment Aemond knew that he would never need anyone else in this world again as long as he had Y/n and their future silver haired babies.
‘I love you too Mandianna, I always have. From this night on they will never be able to steal you from me again! You are all mine Y/n…and I will take pleasure in making sure everyone knows it.’ He made his point as he thrust his hard cock up into her once more prompting her sharp intake of breath, nails digging into his forearms before pulling him down to kiss her. (Niece)
Aemond spent the night filling his future wife with as much of his seed as his body held, biting her perfect pale skin everywhere he could reach and ensuring no one would ever be able to argue who she belonged to again. He finally had what he had always wanted, the only things left to do was put a tiara upon her head and meet their children.
The knock on the door was the thing that awakened the both of them the next morning quite early and far too soon considering how many hours Aemond had spent filling his bride…(6 hours). It was frantic and Aemond groaned, pulling Y/n closer into his chest as he was happy to ignore it before her mother shouted.
‘Y/n! You aren’t at breakfast and neither is Aemond! If he is in there with you…!’ She warned and Aemond found the half threat amusing.
‘Aemond! Are you in there?!’ His mother was the one shouting through the door now and he smiled, kissing his soon-to-be-wife’s lips before responding.
‘Good morning mother!’ He responded.
‘You Little Fuck! If you’ve hurt my daughter I swear to all of the Gods!’ Rhaenyra raged. ‘Daemon! Get This Door Open!’ She demanded.
‘He did not hurt me mother!’ Y/n stated just before the first loud hit to the door causing his girl to scream, turning to hide her face into his neck as he sat up. It took 2 more strikes before the door burst open and their mothers entered along with Daemon and Otto. Y/n was covered up to her waist while her upper body was pressed to his leaving only her back exposed.
‘Aemond! What have you done?’ Alicent asked sadly, clearly trying to think of a solution, knowing there was only one in this situation.
‘You all know that we have loved each other since we were children. Did you think that would go away just because you didn’t give her my letters sister?’ Rhaenyra’s eyes widened before she glared at him in a rage.
‘What is he talking about?’ His mother asked.
‘I didn’t want him speaking to her! She will not marry her Uncle like-‘
‘Like you did?’ Alicent deadpanned making the Princess look to her. ‘She will actually marry her Uncle, from this moment they are betrothed-‘
‘My daughter is already betrothed to-‘
‘Not anymore!’ Otto cut her off. ‘From this moment on the Princess Y/n Velaryon is to be wed to Prince Aemond Targaryen. The wedding will take place at the end of the week, we cannot have anyone knowing of these indiscretions when she begins to show as I am assuming she is likely pregnant?’ He asked Aemond who grinned.
‘Oh, most definitely. I’ve left no doubt that she carry’s my son. I was actually planning on filling her with another one before you so rudely broke the door down-‘
‘Do not push your luck Aemond!’ His Grandsire warned.
‘I should remove your head you insolent little shit.’ Daemon growled, Aemond seeing the rage in his eyes.
‘Then your grandchild would be without a father, Uncle. What purpose would that serve except ensuring your daughter hates you?’ Y/n moved her hand to pinch his side making him jump. ‘I’m sorry Byka Dārilaros.’
Aemond could see the surprise at his apology in his mother and Grandsire’s eyes. ‘Maybe this will be a good thing after all.’ Otto considered before turning to leave the room.
‘No more fooling around. Get dressed and get to breakfast. Now.’ With that his mother guided Rhaenyra and Daemon reluctantly out of the room.
‘Can your husband help you get dressed my love?’ Aemond questioned and she kissed his shoulder before biting his neck as he had done to her about 30 times the previous night, the evidence of which was very clear to see all over her chest and breasts. Aemond was proud though, because while she could hide those the 5 marks on her neck were not able to be hidden before breakfast where he was eager for Jace to see them.
They were both dressed 10 minutes later, their hair staying down until after they broke their fast for the day, Aemond leading her down the halls and enjoying the smile on his girls face as they entered the room with their family. He sat her down beside him and watched her fill her plate and eat, clearly hungry from their previous nights activities which filled him with pride at being able to satisfy his wife.
‘What is that?’ A voice demanded and everyone looked up to see Jace pointing at Y/n’s neck.
‘Jace, we will discuss this after we eat. You-‘
‘No!’ He cut his mother off, jumping up from his seat and moving to Y/n’s side in an instant, yanking her hair to the side and looking at her neck. Aemond heard her whimper in pain as he pulled her hair, holding her chin to expose her throat to him and he was instantly up from his chair with his hands on Jace.
‘That’s Enough!’ Rhaenyra shouted before Aemond punched his nephew who nearly flew backwards at the force his fist caused before he moved to grab him again, a voice calling his name through the jumble of people yelling which had his attention immediately.
‘Come eat with me Kepus, please?’ Y/n asked softly and he couldn’t deny her that as she held her hand out. Aemond moved to take it, lifting her onto his lap and sitting to eat, feeding her and feeling proud at providing her what she needs, thoroughly enjoying her feeding him as well.
It seemed that everyone was shocked at Aemond disengaging from the fight but his attention was on his soon to be wife as it should be. ‘We should go for a morning flight after breakfast…let me take you for a ride as I promised, late as the kept promise may be.’ Y/n looked up at him and he could see her surprise which he found adorable.
‘You…you want me to-to ride Vhagar?’ She questioned and he chuckled.
‘Not alone of course but yes, I had wanted to take you up with me the night I mounted her but that clearly didn��t happen. It will be fun, I promise.’ The smile on his girls face was worth everything to him. She was precious and he would keep his wife happy no matter what. If that meant that his nephews and older sister needed to be un-happy, then that was just icing on the cake for him.
He finally took her flying with him later that day, though it made her own dragon quite grumpy and forced her to take Ghost for his own flight before they could go back home. Aemond had finally kept his promise, and had ensured he got exactly what he wanted in the end.
Now all that is left for Aemond to do is figure out how to make Y/n his Queen and fulfill his dream of his wife riding him on the Iron Throne.
That one may take a bit more work, but he would ensure it, No Matter What.
Aemond T. Masterlist
#house of the dragon#house of the dragon aemond#house targaryen#hotd season 1#hotd season 2#hotd smut#hotd aemond targaryen#hotd aemond#hotd imagine#hotd x reader#hotd#Aemond Targaryen#aemond targaryen x oc#aemond targaryen imagine#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen x y/n#aemond targaryen smut#Aemond#aemond one eye#prince aemond targaryen#prince aemond#aemond targaryen fic#aemond x reader#aemond smut#aemond fic#aemond x oc#ewan mitchell#Vhagar#grey ghost
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Orchid - (c.b. one-shot)
𝓑𝓵𝓾𝓻𝓫 (𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒): “How many girlfriends did you have when you were gone?” You asked. His fingers stopped momentarily, before continuing “What is considered a girlfriend?” He asked, causing you to giggle and shake your head a bit in amusement. Carmy, ever the emotionally unintelligent. “A girl, who you really like, that you hang out with a lot and go on dates with and like…have sex with” you said the last part a tad shy. You felt his chest rumble in a chuckle behind you and your head snaps to the side to look at him “why are you laughing!?” You asked and he shrugged a bit, twirling the ends of your curls around his fingers “None- but I did have a few one night stands when it came about. Why? We havin’ a competition?” He teased. You felt your cheeks get hot and you shook your head, laughing a bit “I’d lose every time. I’ve never done anything. Well- we kiss. Like- now. But I’ve only been on a few dates but like…the other night on your couch you’re the only person I’ve done that kissing with.. that’s the most intense thing I’ve done like - ever - my…y’know was like really…” you blushed Really, really fucking wet. Carmen’s heart begins to race in his chest oh. Oh- You’d meant earlier in the week, after 2 glasses of wine, you told Carmen he was ‘pretty when he smokes even though you hate it cause it’s bad for his lungs’ and that ended up in a kiss that turned sloppy, then it turned in to two kisses, then three- then it ended up being an entire make out session where you were pathetically squirming and rubbing your thighs together to get some kind of friction. He vividly remembered it, he didn’t know you were a fucking virgin. Fuck. This information was going to ruin him. “So you- you’ve never made out with someone and fuckin’ humped their leg like that before?” He teased boldly, causing you to gasp and hit his bicep playfully. “Carmy! Humped your leg?! What am I- a dog?” You laughed and he wrapped his strong arm around your waist, easily pinning you to the couch and holding your arms veheath you with little effort and one arm. “Mm-‘mmm- like a cat in heat, you’re like a little horny kitten” he said huskily in your ear and chuckled when you squirmed finally letting go and you sat up, flustered and incredibly turned on, but still too stubborn to let him know he had such control over you. “Stop it. Not fair you have all these girls running you down. Do French girls really walk around topless?” You asked and he laughed shaking his head “I’d have stayed in France if I got to look out my window and see tits all day. No they do not, but the nude beach thing is real. I just didn’t go because you kinda have to participate” he chuckles and you laughed imagining him trying to hide a boner at a beach. “So your one night stands…what is it like? Sex?” He was going to go fucking insane.
♡ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨: In the spiritual world, orchids can symbolize the search for truth, the ability to appreciate life's beauty, and the courage to be different. They can also evoke a sense of tranquility and inner peace, and In Irish culture, orchids can symbolize beauty, luxury, honor, dignity, and spiritual grace. ♡ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Carmy is your childhood best friend, after he comes home & opens 'The Bear' you both realize you may have been hiding mutual feelings for eachother. ♡ 𝐖/𝐂: 10.1k+ (of mostly smut) ♡ 𝐀/𝐍: Hello all! Firstly this is DC to my AMAZING, SMART, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL FRIEND @carmenberzattosgf ohhh Olive, this is the first time i'm writing you one of my proper novellas & I hope it is a lovely treat after all of your hard work after your test! This is a slight Self Insert for miss Olive, but can still be read as an x reader fic! I truly am proud of this smut & hope you love it Olive!!! 'olive'you to the moon and to saturn hehehe xoxoxo - Capri ♡ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐁𝐓𝐂:SMUT SMUT AND MORE SMUT, Childhood best friend trope, no use of y/n, r is called pet names like kitten, bunny, squish, size kink, squirting, overstim, dom!carmy, unprotected sex, p in v sex, AFAB reader, virgin!reader, corruption kink Carmy, aftercare, not edited (we die like bears. Pretend it’s perfect, ok?!)
♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡
You and Carmy had known each other for quite a few years. You were one grade below him, and in middle school, you became close. Every student was forced to join a club for some stupid reason, and you chose ‘reading club’.
To be expected, When you walked in, it was just a room where kids sat for an hour every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday last period and read books silently. Carmy was sat in the back corner desk reading a Deadpool Vol. 2 comic book, so you plopped in the desk next to him and took out out a The Walking Dead comic.
He looked a bit surprised, at first, but after 2 weeks of this he cleared his throat and nodded towards your comic
“Those uh…those any good?” He asked. His voice was soft, a bit higher than other guys in his grade. Your friendship blossomed from there, and all the way through high school.
After he graduated, though, and left you for your senior year- he ended up drifting apart from you. You weren’t sure if it was because you were busy with school during the day or what- but he stopped calling as often.
After Mikey died, though, and he came back to Chicago - naturally he leaned on you once again for support since you were one of his closest friends growing up. So over the past year, you two had once again became two peas in a pod.
You helped with the restaurant renovations when he needed, also made sure to be a shoulder to cry on for him. He appreciated you more than you knew, and was surprised when he came back after all of this time and you were even more beautiful then when he left - if that was even possible at all. He had a crush on you when you were younger, but had so much anxiety that he thought he’d be labeled a perv or a weirdo if he was known to date a girl younger than him.
Today you were sat on his couch, watching some cheesy Halloween Disney movie that you had insisted on watching because you couldn’t stand horror movies yet ‘still wanted to feel the fall spirit bear!’ To which he groaned and said it was still only the end of August.
You were comfortably sat between his legs on his old couch you’d asked a million times why he hadn’t gotten rid of as he carefully thread his fingers through your hair. Suddenly, a question started bouncing around your mind that you realized you’d never asked the question to.
You hadn’t really asked Carmy much about his time away from Chicago, you’d figured that if he was so desperate to leave home and didn’t even tell you there had to be a reason why, so even touching the topic seemed strange feeling to you. But you asked anyways
“How many girlfriends did you have when you were gone?” You asked. His fingers stopped momentarily, before continuing
“What is considered a girlfriend?” He asked, causing you to giggle and shake your head a bit in amusement. Carmy, ever the emotionally unintelligent.
“A girl, who you really like, that you hang out with a lot and go on dates with and like…have sex with” you said the last part a tad shy. You felt his chest rumble in a chuckle behind you and your head snaps to the side to look at him “why are you laughing!?” You asked and he shrugged a bit, twirling the ends of your curls around his fingers
“None- but I did have a few one night stands when it came about. Why? We havin’ a competition?” He teased. You felt your cheeks get hot and you shook your head, laughing a bit
“I’d lose every time. I’ve never done anything. Well- we kiss. Like- now. But I’ve only been on a few dates but like…the other night on your couch you’re the only person I’ve done that kissing with.. that’s the most intense thing I’ve done like - ever - my…y’know was like really…” you blushed
Really, really fucking wet.
Carmen’s heart begins to race in his chest oh. Oh-
You’d meant earlier in the week, after 2 glasses of wine, you told Carmen he was ‘pretty when he smokes even though you hate it cause it’s bad for his lungs’ and that ended up in a kiss that turned sloppy, then it turned in to two kisses, then three- then it ended up being an entire make out session where you were pathetically squirming and rubbing your thighs together to get some kind of friction.
He vividly remembered it, he didn’t know you were a fucking virgin. Fuck. This information was going to ruin him.
“So you- you’ve never made out with someone and fuckin’ humped their leg like that before?” He teased boldly, causing you to gasp and hit his bicep playfully.
“Carmy! Humped your leg?! What am I- a dog?” You laughed and he wrapped his strong arm around your waist, easily pinning you to the couch and holding your arms veheath you with little effort and one arm.
“Mm-‘mmm- like a cat in heat, you’re like a little horny kitten” he said huskily in your ear and chuckled when you squirmed finally letting go and you sat up, flustered and incredibly turned on, but still too stubborn to let him know he had such control over you.
“Stop it. Not fair you have all these girls running you down. Do French girls really walk around topless?” You asked and he laughed shaking his head
“I’d have stayed in France if I got to look out my window and see tits all day. No they do not, but the nude beach thing is real. I just didn’t go because you kinda have to participate” he chuckles and you laughed imagining him trying to hide a boner at a beach.
“So your one night stands…what is it like? Sex?”
He was going to go fucking insane.
“Uhhh-“ he feels blood rushing to his cock and casually rested his hand over his lap to conceal it “like- well f’me it’s different. But girls…well. Good- a lot of the girls I’ve been with say it feels good because it feels…complete. Like, full, like that’s how they wanna feel all the time. Which I mean when I’m fucking their pussy I could probably say the same but I guess that’s the best way to explain it. Full” he shrugged a bit, grabbing the throw pillow now and resting it over his lap as his explanation had his mind racing with each and every thing he wanted to show you.
“Full” you repeated. Maybe that’s what you were missing. You had tried sticking your fingers inside once or twice but it never felt good, so you didn’t understand why other people would say it felt so good. The only thing that you found good oh, so good. Was rubbing your clit.
Thinking about it being carmys hands other then your own made you get to this point where your toes would curl and legs would shake, it felt like fireworks. It always ended with your hips and said little twitching. Sometimes you realized if you went for too long, it would pulse.
“Ye’ - have you ever tried anything yourself?” He asked, swallowing thickly after the question. He couldn’t lie, the only thing saving his dignity was the small throw pillow he had basically glued to his crotch with his hand. His cock was suffocating, painfully hard and throbbing against the confines of his vintage Levi jeans.
“Oh yeah- yeah. It just… it’s never good I dunno maybe I don’t know how to do it right or something” you said, oblivious to the fact of what him holding that pillow even meant. “Why don’t I show you so you can make yourself feel good, mmm? It’s a good thing to know, I’ll help you out , wouldn’t want you missin’ out, princess”
That’s how tonight started. Now, you were on your back on Carmy’s bed, completely bare, he was fucking coaching you on how to touch yourself. “So- show me how you start” he was sat in front of you, full view of your pussy. Your cheeks hadn’t ever felt hotter, but your mind was buzzing with excitement none the less.
“Uh- like, well, whenever I try to put in a finger or something it hurts, so I just…” you spread your thighs wider, putting a bit of spit on your fingers before beginning to rub at your clit in slow, gentle circles. You took a deep breath at the pleasure it brought, meanwhile Carmy was watching your every move with a lustful gaze. His usually icy blue eyes were currently the blue of the midnight sky, lit with the dancing northern lights of being the first person to see you, to get the potential to deflower you.
“How’s it feel?” he questioned. His voice was husky but soft, laced with honeyed desire. If he was any less than strictly disciplined, the sight of his childhood crush laying in front of him, spread out like something from a high school dream of his, touching herself - the prospect that she’d waited for him - he’d be mounting you like a fucking dog - but, the gentleman he was, he just watched, clutching the blankets at his sides to stop his trembling anticipatory hands.
“It- uh” you giggle nervously, “good - I um… I feel myself getting really wet I don’t wanna ruin your sheets did you wanna grab like…a towel-”
“No- no. That's fine, that's- that’s the fun of it. I love that, make a mess please make a mess, sweetheart. That's how I know you’re feeling good” he explained quickly. You swallowed thickly and nod, still feeling a bit weary on just allowing yourself to make a mess of his sheets, but if he really didn’t mind…
On the other hand Carmy literally had to squeeze his cock through the confines of his jeans so that he could ease the throb that was happening. As you nodded in agreement to his statement, moving your middle and ring finger around your clit a bit faster, adding a bit more pressure, he nearly groaned as your jaw fell slightly slack, letting out the prettiest little breathy whine he’d ever heard in his life.
Your back arched in the most sensual way, your eyes fluttering shut and he took the opportunity to get his jeans unbuttoned and unzipped, sighing at the great relief of pressure that was imprisoning his cock and resting back on one hand as he watched you, biting his bottom lip as you reached your other hand up and grabbed at your breast, gently tugging at your nipple and whining gently.
“And uh- this- I like this - feels good” your eyes fluttered open as you explained and he nodded quickly, as if he was taking mental notes of every single thing you said and did, and storing it in a file folder of his brain.
“Yeah? Has anyone ever sucked on y’tits before, princess?” he asked in that soft, low way. He knew the answer to the question, of course he knew the fucking answer - you’d admitted to him that you hadn’t as much as made out with a guy before now, but he loved to hear you say it. He wanted to hear over, and over, and over, that he was the first person to make you feel good, the only person. The way he said it made your core clench around nothing - and now he could see it clear as day. It made the edges of his lips curl into a slight smirk when he noticed, having the urge to lean forward and catch the drip of creamy white arousal that gushed out of your pretty tight hole with his finger and pull it into his mouth, he wondered if he could make you squirt. “N-no- No uh… no one” you admit, please, please offer you begged with your eyes to which thankfully he agreed since he said
“Would you mind if I try, so we see if you like it?” he sat up a bit when you nod, expecting a verbal answer. He continued sitting, and you stared at eachother for a moment until he finally said “One thing that won’t work w’me is not usin’ y’r words, angel” he said in that breathy way that made you shiver, his tone sweet but firm.
“Please, yes please” you said, voice meek and shy, just above a whisper. You had gotten so lost in his eyes that your hand stopped moving and when he noticed this as he shifted to get comfortable next to you, he said
“You can keep touching yourself, pretty girl” He kissed down your neck with hot, open mouthed kisses, leaving a trail of saliva that gave you a chill as he moved down to your same breast that you were just paying attention to with your fingers, so you move your hand to your other breast. He kissed over the flesh of your breast, looking up at you and gauging your reaction as you continued making quick circles around your clit, the sound of your wetness causing a faint click to be heard throughout the room.
“If you want me to stop at any point, just say stop - ok? It doesn’t matter why, if you aren’t enjoying something say stop” he told you truthfully. You nodded and smiled a bit, your belly swarming with butterflies at the way he was so focused on making sure you felt safe and heard during your first experience that was so intimate.
“I’ll be sure” you promised and he continued kissing around your breast until he got to your nipple. He ran his lips over it lightly, teasing the bud with his lips gently before sticking out his tongue and flicking it over the sensitive bud in a way that made you shiver slightly. Once he’d gotten your sensitive bud perky he took it into his mouth, sucking on it lightly and swirling his tongue around it in a way that made you moan out, eyes fluttering shut and head dropping back.
“Oh- mmhmm- yeah, feels nice” you breathe, causing him to smirk around your flesh, bringing his hand up to your other breast, gently nudging your hand out of the way and taking over. You gasped as he rolled your other nipple between his fingers, a small twinge of pain flicking through you - but mixed with the feeling of his lips and tongue on your breast, and you fingers now quickly working at your clit in tight up and down strokes, your stomach beginning to clench and tighten. Your breathing got quicker, turning into little pants as you got closer and closer to your peak. He removed himself from your nipple with a pop, looking up at you
“Gettin’ there, huh baby?” he confirmed, he could tell by the way you were whimpering and your thigh was twitching every so often that you were about to fall over. In response you nod quickly, mind fuzzy and eyes still closed. “Lemme show y’somethin” he takes his hand away from your breast, returning his mouth to your other nipple and gently applying pressure to your lower abdomen right below your naval. The pleasure was simply mind numbing, you weren’t sure how just a simple palm under your bellybutton could make you gasp, but here you were. The noises you were making were sinful, whiney, hot, even to your own standards - you didn’t even know you could make noises like this.
“Tha’s it kitten, such a good girl - make yourself cum” he increases the pressure and you cry out as you’re thrown over the edge, hips jerking and shivering. Your thighs quivered, and he released his palm from your stomach to hold it and rub it gently as you continued working yourself through your high. Once he saw you finally take your fingers away from your clit once you began to feel overstimulated he pulls away from your breast once again and takes your hand, looking at the sticky creamy strings dripping down your fingers.
“Can I clean these up for you angel?” he asked and your mouth dropped a bit at the questioned, your already twitching clit feeling like it leapt.
“Yes- please do” you said softly. You thought he was going to be so gentlemanly and take his t-shirt off and wipe them for you so you didn’t have to get up and wash your hands since your legs felt like jelly, but what he did was even better. He parted his lips, opening his mouth and taking your fingers all the way to the back of his tongue, before closing his lips around them and sucking them, swirling his tongue around them like he did your nipple and the sensation caused a moan to escape your throat, which in turn he huffed a chuckle through his nose.
Once your fingers were cum free, he pulled off of them with a similar pop as earlier on your breast and looked at you with a hazy lust filled smile “You did so good, squish” he said and you blushed, the sound of your childhood nickname in such an intimate moment making you feel extra shy. You giggled a bit as he cupped your cheeks with his dry hand before squishing them and pulling you close to give you short sweet pecks all over your face and finally landing on your lips.
“Thank you - I’ve never finished that fast I think” you said and he smirked, resting his forehead on yours
“Yeah? Bet I could make you do it again, and faster” he mused softly, his breath fanning your lips and you could smell the taste of yourself on his tongue, causing your heart to flutter in your chest. You hadn’t even tasted that before, let alone anyone else.
“I’d bet you can’t” you teased, ever egging on the forever running competition between you two. “Especially after I just finished, that’d take forever” you smirk and he snorts a laugh, sitting up a bit.
“Is that a challenge, squish?” he asked and you shrug,
“If you think you can handle it, sure” you spread your legs again as he sat up fully and got you situated between his thighs and comfortably sitting against his chest.
You didn’t know what you were getting yourself into.
“Not only can I handle it, I can do it without touching your clit if you trust me” he said cockily and you look back at him
“Always trust you bear” you said sweetly. He felt butterflies in his stomach, bending his head down and giving you a long, gentle kiss, the kind of kiss that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. It felt like the kiss of a summer breeze, sweet and relaxing
“Ok, I know you said that you’ve tried fingering yourself and it didn’t feel good, but I wanna try- Like I said before, just say stop any time, ye’?” he assured and remembering what he said about needing to use your words you nod and added a soft ‘yes’ to confirm your understanding. “Good girl” he purred, kissing your forehead and nudging his thigh under yours, pries your legs a bit further open.
“So usually you’re gonna wanna do what you just did before you start fingering yourself, kitten - gotta get yourself nice and wet, if you can make yourself cum before you start that’s even better. But you wanna start with just one knuckle, middle finger is best usually” he explained, his lips pressed to the shell of your ear and hot breath tickling your neck as he whispered low and soft.
“Uh- uh-huh” you said, swallowing thickly as you watched his finger slowly swirl around your hole, collecting creamy white arousal and slowly pulling it away so there would be a string as he held it up to show.
“See that, all that sweet shit? That’s what you need for it to feel good baby” he rubbed his thumb with his middle finger, spreading them apart to show you the sticky stringy mess when he had barely touched you yet. “You’ve tasted yourself, right angel?” he nipped at your earlobe gently, pulling it with his teeth and you whimper softly.
“No- I- I haven’t” you admitted, breath hitching when he tuts, disappointed,
“You have to, you have the sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted, squish, go ahead- s’like fuckin candy” he swipes his middle and forefinger over your hole all the way up to your sensitive clit, making your hips twitch a bit as he collected the fingerfull of white cream and brought it up to your lips. You opened without a second thought, and he thrusts his fingers in your mouth in such a way that made you groan a bit at the heavy feeling of his fingers on your tongue. He was right, you did taste sweet. Heady, but wonderful. He hummed as your eyes fluttered shut and you enjoyed the taste.
“See? Thank you for letting me be the first person to taste you babygirl” he kissed your temple as he gently eased his tattooed fingers out of your mouth after you licked them clean. The statement leaving his lips made his cock twitch, fuck, no one had ever had such a effect on him before, as if there was fireworks popping in his veins.
You looked up at him, leaning up and connecting your lips in another one of those kisses that made your heart skip a beat or two. He gently squeezed at the plush of your thigh, his nails creating light half moon shaped indents in the flesh which caused a sweet whimper to leave your throat “Carmy please touch me” you begged, before trying to bring your lips back to his and he inched his face away teasingly.
“Use your words, pretty girl” he purred, gently grazing his teeth over your jaw and nipping gently. You arched your hips, trying to get him to rub at your clit again, kissing his lips with a passionate open mouthed kiss and taking his hand, putting it over your heat and grinding over his fingers, huffing a breath of relief when you felt his strong fingers brushing over your clit. He huffed a chuckle into your lips, dipping his fingers down and swirling the tip of his middle finger over your entrance after spreading you out with his fingers, gently prodding just the tip of it in. You bit down on his lip gently, pulling away and letting it snap back into place.
“I wanna try that with you…maybe it’ll feel better when someone else does it” you admit shyly, hand moving to cover your breast when you realized that it was still just you sprawled out and naked on his bed, he had only unbuttoned his jeans at this point. “An’ I want you to take this off” you said just above a whisper, voice honeyed with innocence as you tugged at the hem of his shirt.
“M’sorry baby I didn’t mean to strip you down an’not join you, I just had t’get a fuckin’ taste been wantin’it f’so long” he admitted, sitting up and pulling his shirt off with one tug, his curls becoming even more ruffled in the process before settling back against the headboard, your back now warmed by the feeling of his chest pressed against it. He pulled your thigh open again wider this time, and went back to rubbing your clit in gentle, slow circles that had your head dropping back on his shoulder.
“Like we said you tell me if s’too much yea?” he said gently in your ear before kissing the base of your neck and you hum, muttering a yes, that turned into a gasp as he picked up the speed of his fingers.
“Yes- god- please, yes Carmy” you weren’t sure what exactly you were begging for, but knew if it was anything like up to this point-
You were going to enjoy yourself just fine.
You felt so hot, You had lost track of how many times Carmy had made you cum on his fingers at this point, your brain had turned to mush after number 5 and you just became a pathetic moaning mess beneath him only knowing ‘yes’ and ‘no’. The sheets beneath you felt soaked with your arousal, and you could barely keep your eyes open. You felt another one coming as your thighs had began to shake and you were squirming in Carmys lap as he held your thighs open with his knees hooked over yours to keep them from closing.
“Awww y’gonna cum f’me again bunny? Mmm? You sound so fuckin’ pretty when you cum, beggin’ me to keep goin- fucked you stupid and you havent even had my cock yet” he edged you on in that soft husky voice you loved right in the shell of your ear. Your jaw had come slack, and hips rutted up beyond your control to meet his fingers and draw them deeper - how he’d stretched you open to accommodate 3 was still baffling to you
“Yes- yesyesyesyesyes” you babbled, feeling him chuckle at your eagerness. He had never been so fucking hard in his life, but being the disciplined partner in the bedroom he was, he wanted to be sure that you were essentially in tears begging for his cock by the time he gave it to you and he was well on his way there.
“Yeah? Yeah you wanna cum angel? What if I do this, mmm? On that spot we found” he purrs in your ear, finding that spot that made you nearly stop breathing and stars of white to form behind your lids and continued to pump his fingers in that come hither motion you knew would get you to your peak faster, but what you didn’t know was he was going to rub the pad of his palm right over your clit that was aching for attention in such a way you felt a pit at the base of your stomach so white hot with pleasure that all you could do was quickly look down to see what on earth could feel so good just as a gush of creamy white covers his fingers and drips down his wrist, going as far as to drop to the crook of his arm and the most mind-melting orgasm washed over you after that.
He worked you through it, of course, purring filthy praises in your ear about creaming so pretty on his fingers, and how the noises you made were something close to angelic. He kissed over the side of your face, down to your jaw, and neck, nibbling over the little marks that he’d left on your collarbones as he slowed down the thrusting of his fingers.
“Let’s see what kinda mess you made, babygirl” he eased his fingers out, the empty feeling causing you to whine a bit that he caught quickly in a kiss, sucking on your already plump and kiss-bitten bottom lip, by the time he pulled away to look your mind was hazy and kiss drunk. “Wow” he mutters, utterly amazed with your release, holding up his sticky right hand and spreading his fingers apart to demonstrate the sweet stringy white cream covering his digits.
“You want some baby?” he sucked the tips of his fingers sensually, moaning hotly at the taste, enjoying it so much that his lust blown blue eyes fluttered shut for a moment. You took his hand, taking his fingers and opening wide, sucking them clean. You hum softly at the satly sweet taste, definitely different then just your slick from earlier.
“Good girl- always so good f’me mm?” he braised, cupping your cheek with his other hand and you didnt take your eyes off him as you began to slowly bob your head back and forth, causing his jaw to fall slack watching as your eyes got friskier, he knew you knew what you were doing. “Are you a good girl?” he mocked “That isn’t good girl behavior” he teased, causing you to pull off his fingers with a satisfying pop, licking your lips of the additional release that coated them.
“What if I said no, would I be in trouble” you muse, a frisky smile dancing on your lips. You giggled how you did when he knew you were up to something.
“Ohhh do you want to be punished?” He grabs your face, “open up this filthy fuckin mouth mm?” He said and you stuck your tongue out teasingly. “Noooo, I said open” he tapped your cheek lightly and you relented, opening your mouth for him and sticking your tongue out wide just to tease.
“Aaahhh” you said teasingly until you heard and felt him spit a hot glob of saliva into your mouth that tasted like your arousal coating your tongue. You opened your eyes to see him smirking down at you cockily.
“Now swallow since you wanna act like such a little slut mmm?” He pushed your jaw closed and you swallow right away, looking up at him stunned but impossibly turned on, not quite sure how to even respond as you never thought it was an option.
“Can you do it again please” you open your mouth and rest your head back. He chuckled, shaking his head a bit as he collected a generous glob in the front of his mouth before connecting his lips to yours, letting it fall over your tongue and you moan softly drinking it down like a magical elixir while you kiss over his lips. He pulled away just enough to speak
“Already turned you into a little fuckin’ whore f’me, mm?” He strokes your cheek gently with his now dry but slightly sticky hand from your cum and you turned your face to the side, capturing your lips around his thumb and sucking lightly as you look into his eyes, bobbing your head slowly and his breath hitched a bit.
“Have you ever sucked cock?” He asked, his voice soft and husky. You get your cheeks heat at the bluntness of the question.
“N-no,” you managed, your voice sheepish.
“Y’wanna try, you can say no, of course, but you seem to have…” he pried your mouth open with his thumb again, brushing the pad of it over your tongue and as if it was a routine you closed your lips around it and swirled your tongue, bobbing your head slightly and he squished your cheeks with his hand “an oral fixation. So let’s put it to better use then cleanin’ the cum offa’ my fingers, mm?” He said in such a way that made a shiver go down your spine.
“Yea- I might not be good-“ you start to apologize and he put his finger to your lips, stopping you
“I can teach you.” He promised and you nodded gently, holding onto his forearm and gently taking the finger into your mouth all the way to the base and humming softly when you felt him pressing on the back of your tongue more, and more until you gagged and coughed into his hand. “Good girl, first thing is you need some spit” he pushed his boxers and jeans down enough to free his throbbingly hard cock, it coming up and slapping his stomach with a small fleshy sound that made your mouth water as you looked at it.
Veiny, thick, adorned with a little bush of dark curls at the base, balls that looked like the perfect handful- he was prettier then you’d though. “You’ve seen a dick before, right?” He teased as he grabbed it, twisting his wrist as he covered it with the slick and tightening his jaw a bit as he got used to the sensation.
Carmen was used to being pent up weeks at a time, of not having barely 10 minutes to sit and jack off without the sound of an email coming in and completely killing his boner - when he was quite literally almost there. So he was an expert at edging himself by this point, getting to cum for him was well- a luxury. And he knew if he was gonna cum anywhere tonight, he wanted it to be your pussy obviously or your mouth- or face, depending on the mood but he knew for your first time covering your face in cum and taking a picture of it may be a little nerve wracking, so that was more just a fantasy - but mouth or pussy would please him greatly.
“Yes- ive seen a dick… not like…in real life. But I’ve seen them In like…I saw porn a few times.” You admit shyly and his cock twitched in the confines of his hand at your admission.
Shiiiiiiit he thought to himself in his head, resisting the urge to just choke the fuck out of his cock and get this over with, finally get that release that his stomach was starting to hurt for. But he didn’t, he couldn’t. He’d been waiting for so long for this, that the thought of wasting the opportunity instead of having your mouth on his cock and he would rather get back with Claire then miss this opportunity.
“Yeah- mm tell me what kinda porn did you watch princess-“ he grunted a bit as he continued lightly stroking himself. You decided to take it upon yourself to straddle his thighs, and gently grab his wrist.
“I’ll tell you, but can I do this part?” You asked. Carmy was convinced he could cum right there so he grabbed the base of his cock, squeezing tight thinking of anything he could to not just bust and have it spurt all the way onto your tits like a loaded fucking gun.
“Yeah- course baby” he let go of it, guiding your hand to the base and wrapping his hand around yours, stomach muscles tightening when he felt the sheer size and softness of your hand. “Jesus Christ-“ he muttered to himself as he slowly started working your hands up and down his length, his abs contracting with each twist of your wrist over his sensitive tip. “Tell me- was it, fuck was it like this? Er was it rough?” He asked, and you found yourself easing over onto his Jean clad thigh and rubbing your pussy back and forth over the denim to ease the throb that began to build there. You let out a soft wanton moan before responding
“Uh- mmm- I- I think that uh- it was pretty rough” you admit, grinding yourself a bit harder when he tightens his hand around yours and moves your hands in tandem faster
“Yeah? Was she screamin’? Did she cream all over his cock like I made you do?” He asked and your cheeks go pink at the reminder, not like the milky creamy stain sitting a few inches to your left didn’t remind you enough of just the mess he can have you making.
“Uh- hnngg” your thoughts practically melt as you brought yourself closer to the edge moving your hips in tandem with his hand and jaw falling slack
“Awwww are you makin’ y’self cum on my leg? You’re humping my leg princess mmm?” He cooed, moving his hand slower and watched as you slowed your hips “y’wanna cum on my leg? Mmm?” He asked and you nodded fervently, brain feeling fuzzy and lower stomach wound tight with that need, every pass of his strong thigh covered by roughly starched denim over your twitching sensitive nub causing that coil to wrap tighter, and tighter getting ready to snap at any moment. “Yeah? You wanna cum on my leg- er come on my cock” he asked and your eyes shot open -
not having realized for whatever reason that was definitely an option.
After a quick begging session of telling Carmy it would be okay to not use a condom since you had a birth control insert - it was making it harder and harder for Carmy to maintain his composure with every word passed from your pretty plump lips.
You were on your back, legs spread impossibly wide- Carmy brought out a flexibility in you you didn’t know existed, even though you guessed you’d likely be sore tomorrow. He grabbed lube from his nightstand, a dark purple bottle that read astroglide : water based lubricant on the side and opened the cap, squirting a decent glob in his hand.
“S’gonna be cold but it’s ok, everythings gonna get real hot in here in a second” he mused, stroking himself a few times to get himself coated before rubbing the rest over your already dripping hole and clit. He just wanted to be sure. He was right though, the feeling of the icy gel made goosebumps appear on your lower stomach that he began to kiss away as he rubbed at your clit gently
“Y’need me T’stretch you again just say the word, ok?” He confirmed, lining himself up with your entrance. You nodded reaching out for his hand and he took it in his, lacing your fingers together and kissing it sweetly “nervous, baby?” He asked in that soft sweet way that made your heart melt into a puddle in your chest.
Well, not anymore you thought.
“No- i promise ill tell you if it hurts” you assured him. He supported the leg that was curled around his waist with his strong arm, hoisting it up onto his shoulder
“It’ll feel good this way, trust” he gently nudged his tip in, causing you both to moan out a bit. “Holy fucking shit squish” he grunted out. Just the tip and he was already gritting his teeth to hold it together and not cream pie you before he even thrusted once.
“Wow- wow” you said breathlessly and when he rubbed your clit your toes curled and spine arched off the bed slightly. “Fuck- yes- oh yes, yesyesyes” you babble as he sinks in deeper. Your eyes were shut in bliss, but his were wide as an owl, taking in your everything.
Every breath, every moan, every twitch and arch and curve - it was like watching art. “God- so fuckin beautiful” he said as he sunk in another inch, rubbing your clit in tighter circles and he began to feel that tight pulsing he knew meant you were right on the edge he had felt on his fingers so many times tonight, but now that it was around his cock- his mind went blank. Completely fucking blank. He wasn’t sure if he was asked what his name was in that moment he’d have an answer, like every single bit of information he’d ever learned had vanished into an abyss. The only thing he could do was let out a series of whiney moans and grunts that hurled you into an orgasm that has tears pricking in the corners of your eyes.
“Oh fuck- yessss babygirl cum on my fuckin cock- god- such a good fuckin girl” he praised once he finally found his tongue, using the oppertunity to sink in fully to the hilt and you cry out, grabbing at his arm and gripping it with your nails causing him to grunt “fuck- gonna scratch me up kitten? Mmm? Let everyone at work know I rocked your shit?” He thrust just a bit harder and you dragged your nails down his arm, gasping at the sensation when he threw your other leg on his shoulder and you felt him impossibly deep.
It was all consuming how full you felt, quite frankly it was addicting. The mushroom shaped tip of his cock was massaging over that incredible spot deep inside you that made you see stars in your vision. You didn’t even notice that he was staring at the bulge showing up in your belly with each deep thrust of his cock.
“Jesus fuckin hell - look a’this, bunny” he taps your cheek lightly for your attention and rubs his hand over that little bulge and he groans as he can feel the tips of his fingers pressing over his cock as he thrusts up. The sight is incredible, unimaginably hot. You brushed his hand out of the way and gently press, causing you both to moan out in pure ecstasy.
“Oh- oh fuck fuck” he rambled, sweat dripping down his toned muscle and chain swinging against his glistening chest. You had the bright idea many times before but were never given the golden opportunity (pun intended) to suck on the little gold pendant no matter how many times it ever so teasingly dangled in front of your face. Since it was now or never, you hook your finger around the necklace and pull him closer and closer until you could pull it into your mouth and he groans hotly as you suck on it, wrapping it around your tongue.
“I always catch you starin’ at that, y’know that sweetheart?” He smirked down at you, continuing his slow deep strokes and putting his hand back over that little Carmen shaped swell he was leaving just below your naval. You felt your cheeks run hot never realizing that you had made it so obvious the appreciation you had for his chain. What could you say? The man wore it well.
“S’not my fault you look so good in your white shirts and chains. You drive me crazy” you admit, letting the necklace fall from your lips. He hummed softly at your admission, tilting your face up and capturing your lips in a kiss, cupping your cheek to hold you to his mouth and continue kissing you, quicker, more fervent as he sped up the snapping of his hips causing you to mewl into his mouth, and for his breath to fan out of his nose against your upper lip in hot short pants as he trailed his hands down over your neck, lingering there for a moment which for whatever reason sent fireworks shooting off in your belly, before sliding down and finding the swell of your breasts that were bouncing with each rough snap of his hips.
The sound throughout the room was the lewd wet slapping of skin, as well as whiney little moans tearing from your throat with each time his hips bounced off the meat of your ass from the intensity of his thrusts. He grabbed your breasts, one in each hand and thrummed over your nipples with the pads of his thumbs, squeezing them in his palms, pushing them together, just utterly enjoying himself kneading the balls of flesh.
The boyishness of it caused you to pull away so you wouldn’t laugh into his mouth and look down at his large tattooed hands massaging and squishing your breasts. “Havin’ fun, Bear?” You teased and he pinched your nipples playfully causing you to gasp at the mix of pain and pleasure.
“I am havin’ fun- aren’t you havin’ fun?” He confirmed, letting go of the sensitive buds of flesh so you could find the mind to reply you nod quickly and he cupped your jaw, slowing his thrusts “words” he reminded
“The most fun I’ve ever fucking had now keep touching my tits” you giggled, taking his palm and bringing it back to your breast and he snorts a laugh.
“I’ve created a monster, mmm?” He teased, quickening his thrusts again and you nod with a hot mewl as he buries himself to the hilt and grinds his hips in such a way that his cock was rutting against your special spot, in turn causing you to gush around his cock how you did earlier and your legs shake as another one of those intense orgasms washed over you, your eyes nearly rolling back as your lids flutter shut and jaw dropped. There was the roaring of blood in your ears, your back arching off the bed as your jaw fell slack and you let something out between a scream and a cry, “fuuuckfuckfuck Carmy fuckkkk” you cry out, the warmth flooding the sheets below you to the point you could hear the trickle of it.
“So fuckin hot Jesus Christ you’re so fuckin hot baby- soakin my fuckin cock like this I’m gonna fuckin fill up this pussy” he grunts, his thrusts becoming spurratic and he took his thumb, massaging it over your clit and laying his 4 fingers in such a way he could press in and feel himself fuck you as he did before.
The pleasure was so mind numbing you felt like jelly, the only thing in your brain currently was how if he kept doing this you were surely going to soak his mattress and have to buy him a new one, but for whatever reason your brain couldn’t connect with your mouth and the thought left as quick as it came. “You still want that kitten? Mm? Want me to cum in y’r tight pussy, yea? Make you mine?” He kissed over your ankle and down your calf as he waited for an answer. When he didn’t get one he spanks you lightly causing you to squeak in surprise “I said. Do you want me to cum inside you still? Mm? You fuckincockdrunk over there?” He said teasingly and you nodded quickly
“Yes - t’both, probably” you admit and he chuckled, bending over and giving you a chaste kiss to the temple
“Such a good girl” he praised, rubbing your clit quicker so you would clench around him. You squirmed beneath him, sensitive from your last orgasm but not able to tell him to stop- it felt too fucking good. “I know Angel- I know, almost there fuck jus’ a minute” he grunted, thrusting harder and groaning out hotly. “Thaaaas’ it - fuck so fuckin close bunny gonna fill up this pretty pussy- so fuckin tight god” he moaned out hotly, head dropping back in bliss as he absolutely wrecked you.
But you couldn’t help but look at him with half lidded blissed out eyes thinking that he looked like the incarnate of a Greek fucking statue that has an enormous cock. “Fuckin need it- need it- make me yours Carmy” you begged out, finally finding your voice again when you felt him twitch inside of you. He had helped you over the edge tonight - showed you what it meant to feel good - so you figured the least you could do is help him get there once.
“Yeah? Tell me again baby, what do you need?” He rasps, finding it harder to hold back, but he had to hear you say it.
“Cum inside of me, Bear. Make me yours, mark me.” You said between gasps and mewls, and he couldn’t hold back anymore. His eyes squeeze shut as he thrusts a few more times before setting himself inside you to the hilt and moaning hotly as he releases a huge hot string of cum inside of you, groaning as he thrusts slowly, releasing spurt after spurt of white cream that felt so warm, so right.
“Thank you- thank you squish, thank you” he rambled, cum gushing down the curve of your ass onto the sheets as he milked himself of every last drop with the help of your tight cunt. “God you are so fucking perfect” he said, his voice honeyed with lust and admiration. You pulled him to lay on top of you, his cock still deep inside. “I can pull out whenever-“
You interrupt him with a sweet, gentle, open mouthed kiss running your tongue over his and nudging your noses together gently before whispering “Let’s just stay like this for a while”
You stayed like that for about 15 minutes, until Carmy told you that he had to get you cleaned up and make sure that you used the restroom since you had gone so many rounds. By that time though, you had gotten all too comfortable with your leg around his waist and nuzzled into his neck, starting to fall asleep.
“But I don’t even haveee to peee” you whined, causing him to huff a chuckle, rubbing your side encouragingly.
“You have to do a few things before we nap, ok? I’ll even carry you cmon, let me up little monkey” he teased, picking up your arm and dropping it. You pretended it was dead weight, mushing your cheek into his chest more, enjoying the smell of his sweat mixed with his cologne.
“Mm comfy here” you mused and he gently brushed your sweaty auburn hair from your forehead.
“I can tell you’re comfy cause you sound like you’re about t’fall asleep, squish. I was gonna make you a grilled cheese- if you listen” he mused and your head perked up.
“The one with the Parmesan on the outside so it’s all crunchy?” You asked hopefully and he smiled adoringly, brushing his thumb over your cheekbone
“And creamy tomato soup” he added and you peeled your arm from around him, sweaty skin sticking together as you pulled your bodies apart. You stretched, wincing a bit at the feeling in your lower back.
“Mm- we went hard” you said, and he gently helped hoist you so you were sitting up
“We did- sorry - was it too much?” He slipped on his boxers and came over to your side of the bed, scooping you up bridal style and kissing your forehead sweetly as he padded over to his en suite bathroom, gently setting you on the toilet and pulling out a good amount of toilet paper, folding it for you as you went.
“It wasn’t- ew why is my pee like…hot” you laughed causing him to chuckle as well as he handed over the toilet paper, before turning to the sink to wash his hands to give you privacy while you cleaned yourself up.
“Uh- kinda stupid but I read in this book that f’girls it like… is a defense thing for bacteria er’ some shit?” He chuckled and you giggle as you flush the toilet
“You read a sex book- woah-“ you attempted getting up but your thighs felt impossibly weak, and if it wasn’t for Carmy quickly noticing and dropping the hand towel to quickly grab your arms and steady you, you’d have fallen.
“Woahh there, Bambi, lemme help you, yeah? S’what I’m here for” he assured you and carefully helped you over to the counter, holding you up by your waist so you could wash your hands.
“Thanks- sorry. Dunno why I feel like I just ran 15 miles I barely did anything” you said shyly as you rinsed your hands with soap and water.
“S’just your first time, baby. It’s all normal don’ worry” he said, planting gentle kisses along your neck down to your shoulder where he’d left little purple marks.
“Oh-“ you said a bit worriedly as you saw the scratch marks in the mirror that you’d left on his bicep, so deep they looked nearly bruised, touching over them with your finger lightly “I hurt you- I’m so sorry” you whisper, looking down at them and he shook his head.
“Don’t worry kitten, loved it, felt good” he kissed your cheek gently and scooped you back up with ease, carrying you to his laundry room and sitting you on top of the dryer
“What are we in here for?” You questioned and he grabbed a pair of clean boxers from his hamper as well as one of his old the beef t-shirts that had been freshly washed as well.
“T’get you dressed so you don’t freeze to death” he said as if it was obvious, forgetting that your clothes that laid beneath you both in the bed that you had worn here were likely soaking wet which made you scrunch your nose.
“And get new sheets” he said with a smirk as if he could read your mind, it always felt like he could. He gently eased your ankles into each leg hole, pulling them up to your thighs and slipping the shirt over your head, helping your arms through before helping you down and pulling the boxer briefs up the rest of the way.
“Alright you can chill on the couch while I get all that shit in the wash, yea?” He picked you up, lifting you onto his shoulder like a sack of flour and you gasp and squeal laugh when he spanks you playfully
“Oh my god! Carmy!” You laugh, holding onto his shoulder as he carried you to his living room and gently dumped you on his couch where all of this started, and HalloweenTown was now back at the beginning screen asking if you wanted to replay the movie.
“I have to transport you somehow when these legs are useless” he teased and rested his knee on the couch, bending over and giving you a quick kiss on the head. “Lemme go change those sheets and I’ll be right out to make you your food, in the meantime though I want you drinkin’ this” he sets your yeti cup that was still full of ice water next to you on the side table and you smile a bit.
“Do you act this nice with all the girls you sleep with or am I just special” you said jokingly. His smile faltered for a moment as he thought about what he was going to say.
No, I’m pretty sure I would only ever act this way the first time I slept with someone if it was the person I’d been desperately in love with since middle school -
But he’d never say that out loud, the boldness from all the adrenaline and testosterone he’d been flooded with in the throes of passion have came and went. So he settled on,
“No, squish. You’re just special” he kissed the top of your head before heading back into his bedroom to deal with the waterlogged sheets you two had left. You nibbled on the inside of your lip, deep in thought as to what this meant for your relationship going forward, his words ringing around in your mind, until he came out- carrying a bundle of sheets in his arms, his biceps flexing as he carried them all to the laundry room.
“How’s that water comin’ squish?” He called from the laundry room as he loaded up the washing machine, shit- you had one job while he was gone and failed to do it.
“Good!” You lied, grabbing the cup and quickly chugging down a good 5 gulps, the icy feeling chasing all the way down to your stomach that grumbled at the contact making you realize it had been a while since you ate.
“I didn’t hear that cup move once before I asked. I was listening” he said amused, returning out of the laundry room in gray sweatpants that hung low on his hips and he padded into the kitchen, getting out a pan to heat.
“Okay creepy, listening to my water habits- I’m gonna watch my movie now that you so filthily interrupted with your… your…” you try to find the word and he laughs, getting out what he needed for the soup and your sandwiches
“Myyyyyy….” He teased
“Sluttiness!!! Your masculine- pull” you said and you both cracked up, shaking his head
“You’re a fuckin dork” he mused and you smiled, shrugging as you hit play on your movie once again.
“You love dorks. It’s why we’re best friends”
It wasn’t long until Carmy came over with a steaming bowl of soup, and 4 squares of amazing grilled cheese on a plate and sat It down at the coffee table. “Careful the soup is hot” he warned and you grabbed one of the little triangles right away, taking a bite and moaning
“Mm best grilled cheese In the world” you rest your head on his shoulder, chewing happily and your eyes fluttering shut in bliss.
He chuckled a bit, having a bite of his own that of course wasn’t as beautifully plated and prepared as yours was (and had gone a bit cold since he always made yours last so it would be hot and melty for you) “really? You think that could be an award I could get, should we call Guinness?” He joked, causing you to laugh a bit.
People often thought Carmy wasn’t funny, or that he didn’t have the ability to make conversation - he was simply very shy, and observant. When you were in public too, he didn’t have a problem joking around with you - but with people he doesn’t know, he prefers to sit back for quite a while and observe the way they react to other people before he tries to interact himself. It made you two a great pair, because you always trusted his judgment.
“We really should. Hey- why do you always make mine all pretty?” You asked, realizing that you always noticed it but had never brought it up before. He hummed in contemplation, swallowing before saying
“I dunno. Cause you deserve nice things” he said simply before taking another bite. You scrunched your brows together, doing the same as you thought.
“You deserve nice things” you said and he nodded
“Already got em’ got all the nice things I need” he said and finished off his first half before having a sip of water from the glass he’d brought for himself. You weren’t sure what he was saying, Carmy didn’t allow himself to have like…anything.
“What are those?” You asked and he looked at you
“Well, you’re my best friend. S’all I need, I realized after I came back from New York I’d rather be your friend and stay here then be anyone else, I love being your friend, squish. You’re a great friend” he said earnestly. Your cheeks suddenly felt hot, and you felt a lump in your throat like you could cry
“Bear I love being your friend” you put your sandwich on the plate and wrap your arms around him. He held you, kissing your cheek gently as he rubbed your back, enveloping you in one of those deep warm hugs you knew him for. He always gave Bear Hug a new meaning to you. “But-“ you pulled away and look at him, biting your lip gently. “We can keep being friends… after what we did- right?” You asked and his eyes widened before nodding like it was the craziest question in the world.
“Are you- yes- yes squish. That wouldn’t ever change me wanting to be your friend - nothing could change that.” He cupped your cheek gently “you- y’re everything t’me” he said softly, stroking your cheek with his thumb lightly.
“So are you…are you doing this kinda thing with other girls still?” You asked meekly, eyes drifting to your lap. He took his other hand, bringing it to your other cheek and angling your face up to look at him once again.
“Do you want me to stop seeing other women?” He asked, his voice low, soft, honest. You swallowed thickly in contemplation, looking into his eyes. You wanted to say yes, but you didn’t want to feel selfish in case he didn’t feel the same, but if he didn’t feel the same you didn’t want to do that with him again.
“Yes- b-but…but if you don’t want to…that’s ok, carm. I just- I only want it to be us…” you said softly. He eased you into his lap, stroking your auburn hair gently and kissing your jaw up to your cheek and over to your lips, giving you a deep affectionate kiss, one that made your heart feel like it was going to burst with butterflies. After a few moments he pulled away and muttered against your lips, “It’s just us from now on”
Tagging bestie boops: @gallaghersgal @mouseymilkovich @daysofyellowroses @l4long-winded @carmybrainworms
#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen x reader#carmen berzatto x you#carmen berzatto#the bear fx#carmy berzatto#the bear fic#the bear#the bear hulu#carmen berzatto fanfiction#the bear fanfiction#carmy berzatto fanfiction#carmen berzatto fluff#the bear carmen#carmen berzatto blurb#carmen berzatto smut#carmy berzatto smut#carmy the bear#carmy x reader#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy#carmy x you#carmy smut#carmy x fem!reader#carmen berzatto the bear fanfiction#carmen berzatto the bear#borders & banners by saradika#capricarmy oneshot
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reader finding out that lando only pursued her bc one of his pr team told him to date somebody of her caliber
I love these kinds of tropes
One-Sided Fake Dating (LN4)
Summary: When Y/n has continuously been used for the image that has pristinely been constructed for her and the connections she has through relation to her parents, she has cultivated a dark image on the world, especially on love. However, when Lando comes into her life and shows her what it’s like to be wanted for who you are and not what you can provide, she begins to open up and she begins to explore what it’s like to be loved and to love. Although, nothing is permanent and what happens when the man she had thought to be better than everyone who had previously screwed her over turns out to be worse?
Warnings: angst, language, sexual references, i build this couple up just have them come crashing down, this one’s rough but all my posts are so its ok, family trauma, me being cliche when it comes to making up fake rich last names sorry sue me
Note: it’s a sad ending but AS WE ALL KNOW i cant take those so there will most likely be a part two lmk if yall want to see that
Part 2 link
She hated these things. Galas where men approached her for the last name written on her birth certificate and women fawned over her dress in order to become one step closer to the opportunities only she held access to. A drink in her hand, the little droplets leaking onto the ring adorning her finger, her eyes gazed upon attendees of the party her father had thrown. Men and women dressed to the nines in designer clothing, a rotten feeling manifested in her stomach. It was indescribably cold, something that settled within her and was a stark reminder that, in a room full of people ready to wait on her hand and foot, she was alone. Neither her father nor mother could make her feel any semblance of warmth, not when they exploited the image she had perfectly curated over the span of her life. The perfect, girl-next-door persona had been all she was destined for when she was birthed into the hands of Nick and Amy Winchester, two heirs to two successful oil businesses. Neither of them had truly made the effort to make her feel as though she was destined for more, other than a pawn in their Public Relations game.
She stared at them shortly, studying their faces and the way they moved about the room, wondering whether she had ever truly known them. Her parents were an anomaly, filthy rich and happy as ever. Although, no one ever knew what went on behind doors.
“Y/n Winchester, how lucky I am to finally meet you in person. I’ve heard so many great things.” A voice startled her from her deep mind, turning it back on to the mission at hand, putting on a front that she had everything she ever wanted.
Turning around, her gaze found that of Lando Norris, a man her parents had never shut up about, having been friends with his father and loving the way he so seamlessly fell into what they had always wanted her to be, but she never quite came close. This man was the image of the self-inadequacy she had been forced to feel from the moment she could slightly understand the concept. She despised him.
The fake smile she had flaunted for years graced her face, “Lando Norris, it’s lovely to meet you as well.”
He extended his hand to her, her fingers falling onto the bed of his as he pressed his lips to the back of her palm. The warm pressure spread up her arm and down her body as they held each other’s eyes. Something about the deep greenness of his made her want to know more, made the hatred and envy she had held for him diminish.
“I have to say you’re even more beautiful in person.” He whispered, lowering her hand but not letting go.
A tinge of red wrapped around her cheeks, “Thank you. You’re quite handsome as well.”
The entire thing felt incredibly mysterious. The way he cradled her hand; the way his eyes pierced hers; the way he was so intoxicating and the way she didn’t know why. She wanted more, wanted to know more.
Drowning in the confusion pertaining to her sudden change of feelings toward him, she couldn’t make out what he had been speaking about. As a result he simply stared at her with raised eyebrows, “Y/n, am I boring you already?”
She shook her head with a soft smile, “No, I’m sorry. Just got lost in thought.”
“About me?” He rubuttled quickly. So quick she couldn’t hesitate or think before she began nodding slowly. Her brain had shrunk at the hands of the smell of his cologne and all she could rely on was the years of PR training.
His eyebrows raised further, “Oh? Well, that’s a good sign considering I haven’t been able to take my eyes off you since you walked into the room.”
She choked slightly on her drink, not expecting him to be quite forward, “Sorry?”
He smiled a sinister smile, one that drew her in and made her want to run away all at once, “You’re intoxicating, Y/n.”
She cocked her head, “Is being bold your way of picking up women, Norris?”
He shook his head with a chuckle, “Being bold is my way of trying to make you fall in love with me. The women of my past are nothing like you, Winchester. I never wanted them to fall in love with me, however, with you,” He leaned in closer, “I want you all to myself.”
Pulsing between her legs told her this night would be ending very differently then she originally intended, “Is that so? I have to say, I’m not entirely opposed.”
His lips were centimeters from hers, his hot breath fanning her face, “Good because I was never going to stop until you were.”
—
In the light of the morning, Y/n’s mind ran wild at the consequences of what waking up in bed next to Lando Norris meant. He was known for sleeping around, for playing women and adding notches to his bedpost. Being another one of his past girls wouldn’t go over well for her image, an innocent and pure one that was meticulously portrayed so no one would see her as something inherently sexual.
However, as his arm slung over her waist, she couldn’t find it in herself to truly care. Sure, she was a bit panicked for what her parents would say, but with the memories of the night before and the dull aching between her legs, she knew this wouldn’t be a one time thing.
Throwing caution to the wind wasn’t something she typically did, but maybe she could try just this once.
His arm rustled on her warm skin, his eyelids creaking open as he stared at her, “Morning, Y/n.”
She giggled, “Not a good morning for you, Norris?”
His teeth peaked through in a flirtatious grin, “No, Winchester. It is a very very good morning.”
She turned around, slipping out of his arms and off the bed to pull her dress back on.
“What are you doing?” He asked, a grovel in his voice that made her never want to leave the quiet oasis of his room.
She turned around with a questionable glint in her eyes, “Leaving?”
He shook his head and propped his body up on his elbow, leaning over to grab her hand softly, “No, Y/n. Stay.”
There was a pleading in his eyes, one she had never seen in the media and one she had certainly never seen throughout the time they spent together. It made her give in.
She plopped back in bed next to him, his arm fell around her shoulders and he kissed her temple, “Why are you still in clothes?”
She laughed, thinking he was joking, but his hands over the soft skin of her arms as he pulled it down made the joyous sound dwindle down.
She certainly stopped laughing when his lips started descending down her stomach.
—
A persistent knocking on her door had her groaning and running over, “I’m coming!”
Her hand clutched the door knob, throwing open the door of her apartment near her university's campus, before she was greeted with the sweet image of her boyfriend.
She tilted her head with a soft smile, “Lan? What are you doing here?”
He pushed through the threshold, a nice smell of roses hitting her nose as he turned around to face her in her foyer.
“What’s with the flowers?” She questioned as he just stood there with an innocent smile.
He walked closer, planting a short kiss on her lips before whispering, “Happy three months.”
He held the flowers in between their bodies, continuing to grin at her as the occasion dawned on her.
She wrapped him in a hug, taking the red plant from his hands and kissing his cheek aggressively, “You are so cute! Thank you!”
He followed her further into the apartment as she went to the kitchen to put them in water. Questions flew from her lips, “How’d you know? Were you keeping track? You didn’t do this for our one month or two? Also, I thought we agreed to only celebrate the big ones like six months or a year? Was I supposed to get you something? Oh shit, Lan, I didn’t get you something.”
He giggled at her and shook his head, slithering his arms around her waist and pulling her into him when she was done with the flowers, “No, love, I just got a Snapchat memory that informed me it was three months ago today I asked you to be my girlfriend. I was going to ignore it, but I thought against it when I remembered how lucky I am to have you. I thought I’d just remind you of that.”
She blushed and wrapped her arms around his neck, “You’re sweet.”
“Only for you.” He murmured as she closed the gap between their lips.
At first, Y/n was a bit hesitant with Lando. With his past with women, sleeping around and never holding a commitment, she wondered if he would treat her a priority. Although, she was pleasantly surprised when he started speaking to her, treating her better than any of her ex’s. He was kind and gentle, compassionate, empathetic, understanding, and loving. He was everything and she was beginning to think he was her everything.
They continued kissing in her kitchen before she was reminded of the homework splayed out on the desk in her room, stress riddling her body once more. Lando clocked the tension, letting his hands rub up and down her back soothingly before softly speaking, “You okay, love?”
She tried to nod, but shook her head instead, her face pressing into his chest as she huffed, “No, I’m so stressed.”
Lando frowned, “Why? What’s going on?”
She led him to her room, his hand clutched in hers as she dragged him. When they reached her door, she opened it and he found a messy room drowning in papers and textbooks. The sight of it let alone made him panic.
“Christ,” He murmured. His hand squeezed hers in support as the two stared upon the mess.
Her voice became wobbly as she spoke, “I have so many assignments due and my room is a fucking shit show. I can’t think when it’s like this. It just adds to my stress. I don’t know what to do, Lando. I don’t have time to clean my room, I don’t have time to eat, I don’t have time to sleep. I’m fucking drowning.”
She choked up as her words felt suffocating. Lando was quick to pull her back into him, shushing her and caressing the hair on her head as she sniffled into his shirt. He led her to her bed, sitting her down and letting her lean on him, emotionally and physically. When she calmed down, he whispered into her hair, his lips having kissed multiple times there, “How about you sit at your desk, do what you can of your assignments, and I clean your room. I’ll make it spotless that way you don’t have to worry about it and then I’ll make some dinner, yeah? I can order in from your favorite place or I can make it myself. Whatever you want, baby. But, when your room is clean and the food is ready, you will give yourself a break. Trust me, laying with me on the couch and watching movies before going to bed at a reasonable hour will help you tomorrow so you can get more things done. You will get through this.”
She pulled back slightly, looking up at him with glossy eyes, “You’d clean my room for me?”
He chuckled, hands cradling her face, “Of course, love. I’d do a lot more for you.”
🏎️
Four hours later, Lando had cleaned her entire apartment, ordered her favorite meal from a diner down the street, and plated it on the countertop of her kitchen. He was pleased with himself when he walked into her room, lightly pulled her earphone out and led her back into the kitchen where her face lit up at what he had done. Falling into his arms, she mumbled quick praises of gratitude into his neck, kissing at the skin as a thank you.
The wrinkles in her forehead had loosened by the time they made it to the couch, his legs kicked up as she sprawled out on him. There was quiet conversation of what they would watch before settling on The Holiday, a movie Y/n had loved since the moment she watched it when she was twelve.
As much as she loved it, however, she fell asleep twenty minutes in. Soft intakes of breath alerted Lando of the sleeping girl on him and he decided to stay there. He watched the movie all the way through, scratching her back softly throughout the entire thing. She moved a bit, but never away from him, always closer to him and his heart warmed every time.
When he laid her down in her bed and she whispered for him to stay, there was no argument in his mind. He stayed and he was beginning to think he always would.
—
“What’s your biggest fear?” Lando said into the darkness of the night as they sat in his car.
Y/n thought it over, knowing exactly what it was, but deciding if spilling that to him was appropriate in a five month relationship.
“Spiders.” She replied, fear taking over and forcing her out of what she truly wanted to say.
Lando looked over at her blankly, “What’s your biggest fear, Y/n?”
She laughed, “Spiders, Lan.”
He shook his head, “Tell me the truth, love.”
She exhaled a breath and began, “Going my entire life without making my parents proud.”
Her sentence hung in the air, her words hitting him as he searched for clarification, “You have made them proud, Y/n.”
She scoffed and shook her head as the feeling of Lando’s hand slipping into hers spread throughout her body in a grave reminder that he was there for her, “No, they have never looked at me long enough to see what I’ve tried to achieve and what I have achieved.”
His eyes bore into the side of her face as he listened intently, “No one knows that my parents are not who they portray themselves to be. Sure, they’re in love and they have fun times together, but they never wanted me. I know that, they know that, the staff, and the people they’ve employed to keep our image know that. They had me out of obligation, out of pressure from the outside world to have a child after they got married. I know they never wanted children, they’ve both said it to me before. From the moment I was born, I was not seen as a human or a baby who needed nurturing, I was seen as an object that could warmly slip into the narrative of their lives and compliment the rumors surrounding them. I was never meant to be anything else than their public pride and joy. Privately, I have never meant anything.”
Lando’s fingers grazed over the skin of her cheek, wiping a tear she hadn’t realized was there. He turned her face to his, forcing her eyes to see the love that ran deep for her, and stated so forcefully, “You are so much more than that.”
She stared at him, not knowing what to say to something that had never been reaffirmed in her entire life, and waited for him to continue.
“For them to disregard you that way shows how shallow they are. It has nothing to do with you. You are not nothing. You should’ve never been exploited and made to feel as though you served someone else. You are wanted. I want you, Y/n. That means something. I know it does because I love you and I want you.” He finished, wiping the tears that flowed down her cheeks.
In a broken whisper, “You love me?”
He smiled at her, leaning in and letting his lips rest just beside hers, “From the moment I met you.”
The words brought life back into her body as she softly giggled through the wetness on her cheeks, “I thought you were trying to make me fall in love with you. Didn’t think the plan was for you to fall in love with me too.”
It wasn’t, he thought.
He kissed her, “It’s hard not to fall in love with someone like you. You are my everything, Y/n.”
Right there. His last sentence echoed what had been repeating in her head for months. A person who loved her just as much as she loved them, what a sight.
“I love you too, you know.” She said, loving the way he continued to wipe residual tears and whisper soft words that contradicted the idea engrained in her head that she wasn’t meant for great things, that she wasn’t intelligent or a force to be reckoned with. Single-handedly, unknowingly, Lando changed her narrative and the idea that, once her parents were gone, she was useless.
He nodded, “I know. I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
He wouldn’t, that was the truth. What this relationship was built on, though? He couldn’t bear to utter the words.
Lies.
—
Galas. Something she used to hate, but, with Lando’s hand on her thigh and his jokes in her ear, she began to find fun in them.
“Don’t you think that woman’s dress makes her look like a flamingo?” Lando lowly whispered as he discreetly pointed to someone across the room that had a light pink dress on, ruffled with feathers.
His comparison was spot on and Y/n had to stop herself from snorting out her drink, “Lando! Stop!”
She giggled and he leaned into her, the two a picture of young love. There were others sitting beside them at the table, drinking expensive wine from expensive glasses and observing the famous couple. In the six months they had been together, the public had not ceased to stop talking about the two. Lando had skyrocketed to worldwide fame, larger than what he had possessed before. Y/n being the internet’s it girl, heiress to billion-dollar oil companies and a young woman who had everything everybody else wanted, forced Lando into a large spotlight. There was traction surrounding his name and because of his connection to her, his companies, his career saw an increase in brand deals, income essentially. By just being her boyfriend, everything tied to Lando had exponentially grown. McLaren included. It was everything they had expected.
A little too much wine in one of Lando’s coworkers was dangerous as he blabbered out, “I’m surprised you two are still together!”
There were a few knowing chuckles around the table as everyone eyed each other. Lando gave him a fixed glare, dark and challenging as he tried to plead with the drunk man to stop talking.
Y/n’s eyebrows furrowed as she leaned in, “What do you mean?”
The man threw his hands up as he leaned back in his chair, “Just with the way you two got together, I didn’t think Lando would stick around for this long.”
“Y/n, let’s go.” Lando stood abruptly from the table, his hand in hers as he tried to pull her from the situation.
Y/n shook her head as all eyes stared at her, “No, Lando, what’s he talking about?”
Lando pleaded with her, “Y/n, listen to me. It doesn’t matter. Please. Come with me. Let’s leave.”
She was stuck, wanting to pry into the man’s mind, but seeing the way Lando was begging her to comply.
However, at the end of the day, she was a curious individual.
“Sorry,” She stuck her hand out to smooth down the table cloth, “Can you please elaborate?”
“Y/n-” Lando started, but she just shook her head.
His mind raced as reality dawned on him and the moment where he lost her came to fruition.
Wine sloshed out of his glass as the man drank the last sip before he began, “Lando started dating you because of your last name.”
There was a lingering smile on her lips from previously wanting to keep a happy demeanor at the Gala, but the moment the sentence fell from his lips, it gradually faded.
Lando sat back down beside her and wrapped a hand around her arm, the other on her thigh, and squeezed harshly.
“Y/n, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
The man scoffed, “What are you talking about?! I was there! I was the one who suggested you approach her. I was the one who laid out what would happen to your career if you dated Y/n Winchester. Come on, Lando, don’t be a liar.”
Her heart beat slowly as she scanned the table, the others still sipping on their glasses as they watched the scene play out. Their expressions, lacking shock, made her realize that every person sitting before her knew that Lando’s love for her was a joke. Everyone, but her.
Her head gradually turned to the side, capturing Lando’s eyes with hers. There was still pleading within them, but, this time, he was pleading for her to still love him, for her to not leave him.
To hell with him, she thought.
“Is this true?” She asked, her tone cold and distant as she ripped her arm and leg from his grasp.
He shook his head, rubbing a hand over his face in anxiety, “No, well, kind of. Yes, but- Y/n,” He shot up from his chair as she made a move to leave.
She grabbed her purse which was hung over the back of her chair, her legs making quick strides toward the exit. Lando, being taller than her, walked quickly beside her, spewing out words that now meant nothing to her.
“I’m so sorry, Y/n,” He choked out. She didn’t have to look to know he was crying, “I didn’t know what I was doing. I was half drunk the night we got together, so were you. I always thought you were gorgeous. What I’m trying to say, fuck, is that it was never truly fake for me. You did mean something to me. You mean something to me. Y/n, are you listening to me?”
She threw open the doors to the party, letting the cool air coat the cold blood running through her veins, and whipped around aggressively to face him.
“Did you mean it when you said it?” She yelled, strong front trying desperately to stay up as she crumbled to pieces on the inside.
Lando shook his head in confusion, “When I said what?”
She stopped her foot on the ground, heel threatening to snap under the force, “When you said you loved me! When you said I meant everything to you! When you said I had purpose! Did you mean it?!”
She screamed at him and he stepped closer, but she put a hand up, “Don’t fucking come near me.”
Lando stood helplessly, “Yes, of course, I meant it. Y/n, everything was real for me.”
She cocked her head, “Was it? When did it stop being a ploy for my last name?”
Lando let his head fall to look at the ground, “The morning after we slept together.”
She groaned loudly, tears now falling freely from her cheeks, “Oh! How sweet! So, after you had sex with me, you started truly feeling something for me. If that’s even fucking true. You know, Lando,” She willed his eyes to keep her stare as she yelled, “You’re no better than everybody in there. I told you how I’ve never had anybody be in my life without wanting what comes with having a name like mine. I told you, I confided in you, how much it hurt for a ten word name to mean more than the feelings I have, to mean more than who I am as a person. You’re no better than my father, my mother, and everybody else who has exploited me in the past. Actually!” She continued, not caring that Lando was wiping tears off his face with his white button up, “Actually, you’re worse than all of them. At least, they were obvious with wanting me for the things I could give them. You made me think you loved me. You made me think that you fell in love with me for who I am. You made me think that I was finally being seen as a human being.”
Lando shot back, “I do love you, don’t fucking fight that. Don’t question that. I sure as fuck fell in love with you for who you are and I see you as who you are. Your last name doesn’t mean shit to me, Y/n.”
She hit his chest with her hand, “But, it did! It did, Lando, and that makes this fucking tainted! You’re just like them! You’re just like-”
She broke down into sobs, crying pathetically into his arms as he tried to coax her. The sound of betrayal was evident in the way she cried, a different kind to the one he heard before when her parents dismissed her or someone tried gaining something from her. This betrayal cut deep because of the love that clutched her heart and refused to let go even in the wake of what he had done. This betrayal ruined any semblance of trust she had with the world, demolishing it for anyone that tried to do what he attempted; to love her.
A moment went by, Y/n gathering herself and realizing she laid in the arms of someone she no longer trusted, and she forcefully backed herself away from him. Wiping her tears with his suit jacket, the one a bit too big for her because it was tailored to his frame and the one he had given her earlier in the night when she had grown cold, Y/n stopped meeting his eye.
“Delete my number from your phone. Never fucking talk to me again. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself.” She murmured, turning around and trying to walk down the dark street before Lando reached out to grab her arm.
When he forced her to turn around, his eyes were bloodshot and begging for forgiveness, begging for her, “Y/n, I love you. Please. Please.”
Still, she couldn’t meet his eye, softly and defeatedly whispering, “I will never be able to figure out if you love me for me or love me for what I can give to you. That is why this will never work. That is why you need to let go of my arm and let me go back to my apartment without you. That is why you need to let me go.”
He kept a hold on her arm and on the life he wanted them to have together, “Y/n, I can show you. I can show you how much you mean to me. Please, just give me another chance.”
She shook her head, “Goddamnit, Lando! Let fucking go of me! This is ruined! It will never be the same! You have done the worst possible thing. You have hurt me in the worst possible way. You have treated me the way everyone else has. I am not something you can use because you are greedy.”
He nodded his head intently, “I know. I know that. I always have.”
Fed up and emotionally distraught, Y/n ripped her arm from his hold and no longer did he reach out for her when her last parting words were, “No, you always haven’t. If you always had, you would’ve never approached me and we would’ve never found ourselves here.”
A/N: part 2?
UPDATE: part 2 posted
#mclaren#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris imagines#lando norris edit#lando smut#lando norris smut#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando norris#lando norris x you#lando norris fanfiction#lando norris fic#mclaren formula 1
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BSD Men favorite thing about you HC
Featuring: Dazai, Chuuya, Atsushi, Akutagawa, Fyodor
Osamu Dazai
Your body.
Yes yes, looks aren’t everything but he absolutely worships your body.
Whether you’re skinny, curvy, he loves everything about your body.
Your chest, your hips, your legs, your ass. He loves everything about you and he can’t see any imperfection.
He is actively always trying to kiss anywhere he can. His favorite is to give you raspberries on your tummy. He loves how you giggle.
But he also loves covering your body in marks, hickeys, anything that shows others that you belong to him.
“You’re so beautiful bella, the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen!”
Chuuya Nakahara
Your hair
He loves playing with your hair, it’s his favorite thing to do.
He often asks to style it, your hair is just perfect and it listens to him unlike his hair.
He loves how soft it is, how easily he can run his fingers through it.
When you’re cuddling in bed he almost always playing with it.
And when you’re making out? Oh his hand never leaves your hair. It’s always on the back of your head, gripping it and sometimes tugging it to get those delightful sounds out of you.
“You should let me braid your hair today. It’ll look beautiful, trust me.”
Atsushi Nakajima
Your kindness
He’s never met anyone as kind as you. Someone willing to put their own needs aside for someone else.
You’re always willing to help him, always willing to brighten his day.
He watches you with a lovestruck gaze as you help nurse a baby bird back to health.
Someone as kind as you is truly and angel, he doesn’t believe you’re simply a human. You must be from a higher place, he’s blessed to have you.
He always tries to treat you with the same amount of kindness you treat him with, but he can just never seem to match you, and that’s okay. He’s just happy to have you in his life.
“You’re an angel, the sweetest angel ever.”
Ryunosuke Akutagawa
Your laugh
It was a complete accident when he made you laugh. He didn’t even say anything funny but you just started laughing.
It was the most angelic sound he’d ever heard. Better than any symphony. He couldn’t even describe it.
He didn’t even know he could make someone laugh but now he’s always trying to make you laugh, though his actual attempts at jokes aren’t funny, you laugh anyways at his awkwardness.
He always stares at you when you laugh like he’s mesmerized.
He even starts to smile every time he makes you laugh as he can’t contain the emotions he’s feeling.
“Your laugh is pretty…”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Your touch
You have such a gentle touch, never once has he felt in danger when you touch him.
Your skin is so soft, softer than anything he’s ever felt.
He loves it when you cup his face in your hands. He always leans into you when you do it.
He always wants to hold your hand and give it plenty of kisses. Something this soft must be cherished.
You’re the only one who can touch him without dying. He would never pass up the opportunity to feel your touch.
“Don’t ever let me go dove.”
#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs#dazai x reader#chuuya nakahara#bsd chuuya#chuuya x reader#atsushi nakajima#bsd atsushi#atsushi x reader#akutagawa ryuunosuke#bsd akutagawa#akutagawa x reader#fyodor dostoevsky#bsd fyodor#fyodor x reader#bsd#bsd x reader
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SHARED MY BODY AND MY MIND WITH YOU
→ Leon broke up with you because of his emotional baggage, not wanting to drag you down into his trauma-induced misery. He didn’t usually date out of his line of work anyway, he hated himself for involving himself with someone so innocent. But when he gets a voicemail at an awfully late hour and listens to it, he nearly broke driving laws to get to your place. He still loves you, that much is certain. Your body and mind are like a second nature to him
CW: MDNI, fem!reader, pwp, one sided breakup, angst, description of leon’s self guilt and sabotage, heavy mentions of marriage, centered around Leon rather than the reader, reconciliation, lovemaking–gentle sex, crying, very small religious snippet, he eats you out, unprotected p in v, implied aftercare + implication of a better future
WC: 5.3k
Note: i think…this is my favorite fic that i’ve ever written. breaking my pink blog theme with this and actually capitalizing letters um…i had to set the tone okay. i actually started working on this in january to cope with some things, but i didn’t make much progress until recently!! the title’s a lyric from the song ‘cruel world’
BOT VERSION HERE MASTERLIST
Leon has a rule: never get emotionally involved with anyone who isn’t in his line of work. The reason behind that is self-explanatory. It's too difficult to accomplish. All his baggage holds him down, and he’s always away for long periods at a time and then returns back with body aches all over and has to hibernate for a while. What does he truly have to offer?
He did it anyway.
You managed to romance him, granting him a fleeting glimpse of happiness and a chance at self-love. Lingering caresses, meaningful eye contact, soulful conversations, an audience to his jokes, the key to your heart — you gave him everything.
Breaking up with you was painful, the second it was all said and done and you were out of his sight, he broke down crying. That was what he deserved, that’s what his mind told him.
It was easy for Leon to disappear from your life, just as quick as the snap of his fingers. He was never around that much to begin with. Your efforts in reaching out to him were futile if he was halfway across the world dealing with another abrupt assignment, or if he fell back into the habit of nursing a drink in some run down bar without contacting a soul.
But no amount of alcohol could make him forget about you these days. The memories of you were too strong to be diluted.
“What about this one?” Curiosity had dripped from your question, your fingers gently feathered across the healed up scar on his left shoulder.
Leon was almost an open book when it came to you, he truly cherished honesty in any relationship, whether romantic or platonic. Guilt weighed on him for having to limit certain answers to only the surface details. It felt wrong; it felt like he was keeping secrets from you and keeping you in the dark. But it couldn’t be helped, not when you weren’t in the same line of work as him. Most of the contents of his work were confidential.
After all, at this point the two of you had only been dating for half a year. How could he burden your mind with the harsh realities of everything that wasn’t known by the general public?
The two of you were naked, tangled under the sheets. No sex or anything, simply getting familiar with each other’s bodies and exploring with gentle and cautious hands.
“1998, shot on duty.”
The memories were still fresh in his mind. People say that forgetting a traumatic event is common, people dissociate to cope and shield their brain. It was the opposite for Leon. All the screams plagued his mind like a damn mantra, no way in hell would he ever be able to forget anyone’s voice.
Either that, or his mind made up fantasies about what could’ve been between you both. Domestic bliss. Buying a house together. Shy talks about how many kids you guys wanted. The memories haunted him. He wanted it back.
He even bought a ring. A beautiful one that he was meant to display to you when he sunk onto one knee and popped the question that would hopefully bind the two of you for life. The one that he was supposed to fidget with whenever he held your hand as the two of you planned your wedding, whether it be simple, grand, or to elope.
He kept it safe even after he broke up with you, he couldn’t bear to throw it away because of the sliver of hope that maybe one day he’d still get the chance of putting it on your finger. He felt like a fool. Sometimes he opened the box up to reminisce. It tugged at his heartstrings when he saw how rough his own fingers were in comparison to the smooth metal, from his years of physical exhaustion and training. God, he wished your hands would never get all battered like his.
He thought about you so much that you were the star actress in his nightly dreams.
The worst ones were the nightmares, though. Like the one that had him turning in his sleep tonight.
It all replayed in his mind. Your facial expression when he broke up with you out of the blue — the way the smile on your face had faded into a frown, your glimmering eyes contorting into that of disheartened ones. The way you looked at him with such a concoction of emotions. The pitiful chuckle that escaped your lips along with a nervously spoken ‘what?’ Or maybe it was the prolonged silence afterwards that killed him. It felt like hours until he got a proper response from you, one that was drowned out by the drumming of his own heart and the pulse that formed in his ears.
Usually he got to the end of it, but tonight he was abruptly woken up by the sound of his phone ringing. A blessing in disguise, maybe. Regardless, he was a bit irritated, he had always been such a light sleeper.
“You’re kidding…” Leon let out a heavy sigh, trying to rub the sleep away from his eyes. He didn’t even want to answer, too tired to even think about the possibility of being called to the field. No way in hell did he want to be met with Hunnigan’s voice and some intel he didn’t feel like remembering.
He let the phone ring, and eventually, blissful silence filled the room again. If it was dire, he knew he’d get another call soon.
Instead, he heard his phone vibrate not long after. He muttered out a curse before reaching for his phone, seeing that a voicemail was left. He didn’t bother reading whose number it was. Christ, the message was 5:06 minutes long.
Whatever. He played it aloud, resting his forearm over his face as he listened in.
“Hey Leon, it’s me…”
Fuck.
He fully sat up on his bed, so quickly it could’ve given him whiplash.
“I miss you. Still think about you every day. I don’t know what I did wrong…you probably aren’t even listening to this. I just…I don’t know.” a sigh. “The clock hit 12 and um, well today’s the anniversary of the day you asked me out. Maybe you don’t remember. I think you do though, you were always good with dates.”
Leon knew the voice of a broken person when he heard it.
No. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to let you go and then you’d see how much life had to offer, how any other person could give you a better and more stable relationship.
How could you be hung up on a man like him?
It was instinctual. He shuffled out of bed, body reacting before his mind and reaching for a clean pair of clothes from his closet. He left the voicemail playing in the background, it filled his lonely house. His heart was racing so loudly he couldn’t even hear the sounds of the wind outside or the creak of the floor with every step. All he did was change and brush his teeth before he drove over to you.
Thankfully, the roads were empty and the highway was free of traffic or else surely he would’ve been pulled over.
Thinking rationally wasn’t necessary when it came to you, not when he just got punched in the gut with a load of nostalgia and gut wrenching heartbreak.
He has always been yours, even during the separation. His heart hammered within his ribcage when he pulled into your driveway, his body moving in a hurry out of his car and towards your door. No hesitation.
Knock, knock, knock.
Ten seconds felt like ten minutes, but eventually the door swung open.
Your pretty face filled the focus of his pupils, his expression softening. You looked like a deer in the headlights, gazing up at him with wide eyes.
Oh, my sweet girl. There she is.
His hands itched to reach for you, to hold you in his arms and spin you around, nuzzling his nose against yours like old times — like some romantic drama. He hadn’t watched one in a while, they reminded him too much of you. He shoved his hands in his pockets.
Leon's hair was messy. It was a sight you had seen many times: his bed hair. Those emotion carrying eyes of his were contrasted with the lifeless bags under them. He came over so damn quickly he hadn’t even taken the time to make himself look composed.
“Leon? What are you…” You couldn’t even finish your thoughts. You felt nothing yet so much at the same time, perhaps from the shock of it all. You brought two fingers to the pulse on your neck to make sure you were awake, and hadn’t somehow fallen asleep after your call and voicemail to him. The thundering pace of your pulse confirmed that you weren’t off in dream land.
“I got your voicemail,” He responded, sounding remorseful. “Had to make sure you were alright. Uh…can I come in?”
You continued staring at him like if he was some sort of supernatural being. If you reached your hand out to touch him, would he disappear? Or perhaps your limb would go straight through him as if he was transparent.
You snapped out of it and nodded. “Yeah, come on in.” Hesitation clouded your tone, not out of wariness but because you had no clue what the hell was going on. You hadn’t seen him in over a year, at least not in person, only through photos and videos you still had saved on your phone from when the two of you were dating (going through them was part of your nightly routine.)
“To be honest…I wasn’t expecting you to even hear my message.”
You stood there awkwardly as he entered, closing the door afterwards. Your apartment still smelled the same, a wave of comfort washed over him despite the circumstances, his eyes darting around at all your belongings. This was once his safe space, like his secret haven.
You sat on your couch, waving him over. Your legs felt like jelly, no way could you be standing for this. He followed, sitting on the couch cushion on the opposite side from you.
“My ringtone woke me up. I thought you were a coworker of mine at first but…I’m glad you weren’t.”
“Glad, really?”
“Yeah.” He gave no further context, at least for that minute.
Silence hung in the air, time became still. Either way, the shared glance between the two of you broke the tension, you were both thinking the same thing. Your minds were linked, seeking reconciliation, every circuit of neurons buzzing with your shared proximity.
He rested his elbows on his knees, running a hand through his hair, a nervous habit. Everything felt surreal, you couldn’t take your eyes off him, afraid he’d disappear.
“I’m…I’m sorry about the way I ended things.” There was a crack in his voice, he was so desperately clinging onto the ideology that he shouldn’t wear all his heart on his sleeve. He failed every time though, his words had wavered.
“I know.” You truly did.
“How?”
“Because I know you, Leon. It hurt, and I found myself wondering why you would just up and leave after what felt like such a meaningful time. But I didn't ever think you did it with mal intent.”
You should be demanding answers, hell, he could even take a few slaps to the face. Maybe his guilt ridden self preferred that to your sweet treatment. Did he even deserve to be met with your understanding? This self-pitying mindset he harbored is what had led to this in the first place.
“You’re right. I didn’t mean to hurt you, that’s the last thing I wanted to do.” Were his efforts in explaining himself getting across? “I thought it was better this way. I'm…broken.”
Trying to convince him that he isn’t ‘broken’ was futile, all you could do was beautify it instead. You scooted closer to him, clasping one of his hands between yours. “All you see are your faults, but I was seeing you entirely, not just for what you do in your job or the images that keep you up at night.”
His hands felt the same. Calloused in areas he couldn’t help like his knuckles and his palms, but well-kept in the nail department. He looked down at the physical contact, putting his other hand atop yours, his thumb grazing tenderly at your skin. Familiar territory.
“It’s hard not to.” He admitted, his eyes feeling glossy all of a sudden. “My job is my life, it drags into every other part of my life.”
“How did it drag into our relationship?”
He truly didn’t know how to answer that. The times he shared with you were the best experiences of his life. He finally got the chance to pull out his cardboard box full of romantic movies to watch with the lover he had been waiting for his whole life, you. Countless nights spent cooking together in your kitchen, full of laughter and playful bickering, and some harmless food fights. Grocery shopping together with laced fingers, just a sneak peek into domesticity. God, he yearned for its return.
“I don’t know. I constantly had to leave and got no vacation time either. Let’s see…I had to keep a lot of information confidential. It kinda screams ‘this’ll all make a girl run the other way.’”
How wrong he was, he ended up leaving before he could get abandoned, as if that would’ve happened, though, you never wanted him out of your life.
“That wasn’t true for me, Leon. I wanted to be with you. I just hope I wasn’t a burden on you.”
That hurt. A dull ache spread across his chest. He pulled you close, tucking you against his side.
“Don’t say that,” His instruction was soft spoken, his lips brushed against your cheek. You were never a burden, he always shut you out, thinking that his heart was full of thorns and you’d prick yourself if he let you get too close. That, perhaps his sorrow was contagious and his poison would flood your veins.
Words of comfort weren’t his strong suit, but he tried his best. He had to. “You weren’t a burden. Never were, and never will be, okay?”
It felt so good to have you against him, his gaze was set on you, searching for any indicator that you were uncomfortable. You leaned your shoulder against his shoulder though, nuzzling against him. Pensive silence followed.
Even with the somber undertones filling your apartment, your heart was bursting. He was here, back with you. Holding you like he used to do after you had a particularly stressful day at work, or when you had an argument with one of your close ones.
The long separation made familiar carnal desires spark to life, along with the itch to bring them to fruition.
“I’m glad you’re here.” You murmured to him, but your wavering voice caught his instant attention.
You were on the verge of tears, oh dear. If you started sobbing, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to hold back from crying either.
Leon didn’t waste a second, pulling you onto his lap, one of his hands stroking the back of your head, his other arm wrapping around your back.
“What are you thinking about?” He needed to know. You had always been the most verbal, whereas his feelings usually showed on his face or body language.
“About how much I missed you.” You respond, running your hands up and down his arms, squeezing at his muscles. “And how unreal this feels. And…” Your eyes flicker down to his lips. “I wanna kiss you, Leon…and y’know.” Make love. “Like old times.”
Oh.
“Are you sure?” Leon hadn’t intended for the night to play out this way. He needed to make sure you were actually thinking straight with the pool of emotions you seemed to be drowning in. To be fair, he was drowning too.
It was midnight, your bodies burned for one another.
“I am.” You uttered those words with such finality, eyes set on him.
This wasn’t some impromptu longing for his physical connection, you had been craving it for as long as the two of you had been separated. To feel him in the purest and most tender way possible, nestled against one another and eliciting feelings no one else could.
The pads of his thumbs rub circles against the fat of your hips. He's looking up at you, his eyes are unable to hide a flicker of yearning and affection. Expressive, his pupils dilated and his eyebrows slightly raised. He blinked slowly, like a cat showing utmost trust to its owner.
He looks at you like he worships you (he does.) Get him on his hands and knees, he’ll mumble your name like you’re his god and he’s praying to you, all his sins out in the open and his scarred body for you to look over and judge. He’ll be vulnerable with you if that means you’ll forgive his wrongdoings and give him a second chance. You must be a merciful god, no doubt about it.
“Don’t look at me like that.” You murmured, cupping his face. His gaze was hypnotic, sending a wave of security down your body. It almost felt as if you traveled to the time before he shattered your heart into pieces of glass.
“Like what?” He couldn’t help it. Not like he had a mirror, anyway. His face was usually tense, brows permanently furrowed and eyes narrowed from being attentive all the fucking time, his lips a straight line, jaw anything but relaxed.
Not right now, though. Never with you. Everything in his body softened and loosened up around you. Well, with the exception of his dick but that was another matter.
“You know what I mean. Like…like you still love me.”
Leon didn’t know what to say. The words died in his throat while every fiber of his being wanted to say ‘I do.’ The same words he could’ve voiced out standing across the altar from you. His brain short-circuited.
His pause came across as ambiguous to you, to mask the pain, you kissed him. Like a chocolate on a hot summer day, he melted in an instant, turning to mush, holding one side of your jaw and matching your pace.
The two of you mingled like two puzzle pieces. Your chest was flush against his, one of your hands finding his hair and pulling on it, earning a drawn out groan from him. It went slow for the first five minutes, some occasional pull backs for breath, shy smiles in betweens, before going back in like the act of kissing was needed for your pulses to continue, your hearts beating as one.
“Mmph.” Your whimper made him shudder, oh how he had missed that noise. His other hand got a bit more confident, resting on the small of your back, moving up towards your ribs then back down, almost resting on your ass.
He felt a surge of heat settle in his groin, aching to give you all the pleasure you deserved, to make you feel cherished and known. To knock any misery out of your head and replace it with euphoric sparks and reassurance. To be one with you again, if you’d have him.
He pulled away from the kiss, his eyes fluttering open. “Bedroom?”
A nod from you was all it took. He didn’t let you get up, instead holding your ass as he stood up, his lips back on yours as he carried you to your bedroom like he owned the place. His mind still had the spatial layout, it worked out and he eventually placed you onto the middle of the bed oh so delicately.
You knew what was coming, already taking your clothes off in a haste as you heard his belt come undone, the sound of his taking his shirt off, and his boots being kicked off.
It wasn’t long until he was on you again.
Leon took his time to look at your body. He was all too familiar with it, knowing exactly where certain beauty marks were, or the places that were sensitive to even the slightest fan of his breath. His fingertips ghosted over your sides, sucking in a sharp inhale as his eyes roamed all over, studying you as if you were his muse and he was about to draw you. “So beautiful…”
His lips had traveled all across you once upon a time. Leon had a great memory, perhaps one of his best features, though also his downfall. At times like these, it comes in handy. It almost seemed like a hazy flashback to the nights he had you splayed on the bed, pressing his lips against your forehead and making it all the way to the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.
He wanted to mimic the memory. “Need to taste you. Can I?”
“God, yes.” You agreed in a heartbeat, body already feeling all tingly at the anticipation.
He littered open mouthed kisses from the middle of your chest, all the way down to your end of your stomach, making your body ignite with flames and mind flood with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. What day was it? Month? Year? You couldn’t remember, just desperately hoping this wasn’t some realistic feeling dream. You’ve had those too often, and if you woke up without him by your side, you felt like you would die from heartbreak.
He hooked his arms underneath your thighs to pull you close. His fingers dug into your thighs as he took another look at his favorite pretty cunt. He missed this. Missed you. Missed having you grind yourself against his face until he couldn’t breathe. Missed having his heart race from the angelic noises you blessed his ears with.
His nose pressed against your clit, applying light pressure as his tongue lapped at your slit, gathering the dew there. Geez, he really got right into it. Your eyes rolled back, your stomach tensing and your back arching. You could die right now by your (ex) lover’s tongue, what a way to go.
On the occasion that he opened his eyes, he’d look up at you through his light lashes — he swore you looked like an angel from his perspective.
“What is this? Your last meal on death row?” You were joking, but god…he really was making your mind go blank, he knew just all the right buttons to press.
“Oh, so you think I’m a criminal?”
Like always, you reached for his hair, pushing it back and hearing him growl out of contentment. He gave your clit gentle sucks before flattening his tongue against it and flicking it, his head moving side to side, repeating the process again and again.
One thing about Leon? He always found a way to turn you on by being vocal. His noises were muffled and sloppy but you could feel the vibration of all his whimpers and growls against you as he took his time eating you out. He was getting off to pleasuring you, and that fact alone made it so much hotter.
Your thighs were trembling, threatening to close in and squeeze his head. Leon placed one of his hands over your lower abdomen, applying light pressure with his palm and coaxing you into your orgasm.
It didn’t take you long to get there, you hadn’t felt a tongue on you in ages, he was your last.
“Leon, I’m—“
He already knew.
“That’s it, make a mess all over my face.” It sounded like a demand but instead it came across as a pitiful and desperate plea.
How many times had he been in this position? Lying on his stomach, your taste on his tongue, chin dripping with his drool and your wetness, feeling your body trembling…he couldn’t even count how many. But it was enough for him to know your body like no other.
He kept going even after your thighs started squeezing in on him, even with the way you unintentionally tugged at his hair enough to have him rutting against your sheets. He made sure to make your orgasm feel good, lapping at you all throughout until he heard a whine leave your lips and he felt you weakly push his head away — he didn’t want to overstimulate you and hurt you.
He finally took a breath, one that filled his lungs with satisfaction as he propped himself up on his elbows before sitting up. He ran a hand through his hair, feeling his blood pump south with the way you were still composing yourself, your legs twitching all cutely and your torso rising and sinking with each deep breath you attempted to take.
“Do you wanna…” Your eyes flitted down to the prominent tent in his pants, feeling a stirring in your stomach already.
“Do you?”
“Yeah. I mean…only if you want to.”
With his belt already in some corner of the room and his fly down, all that was left was discarding his pants and boxers down. He fished his wallet out and pulled a packet from it before doing so.
You were too distracted eyeing his now exposed dick, gulping. It had been a while. But a certain wrapper noise caught your attention. A condom. You had always been careful with him in the past, but you wanted him inside him without any barriers. To feel him entirely, his skin against your insides.
“Don’t, please?”
“But–“
“I need to feel you, Leon.”
“Already being a bad influence on me? What am I gonna do with you?” His jest was met with your roll of eyes, but the corners of your eyes crinkled, happy he was already comfortable enough to bicker a bit.
He pet your head, gazing fondly at you as he awaited your response.
“I just want to feel you as close as possible. I don't know how to explain it. You can pull out at the end…I dunno.”
You didn’t need to explain further, because he felt the same. He kissed your forehead, whispering “okay.”
Getting in between you and in position for missionary, he continued peppering kisses all over your face. He couldn’t hold back, he had so much to make up for, he owed you at least a thousand more. He pushed into you, a breathy moan leaving his lips, it felt like he had just entered the pearly gates. And the way your jaw hung open in a silent gasp told him you felt the same.
“You alright?”
“Mhm, keep going.”
“God, I missed you…” His thrusts made the bed creak, adding to the assortment of sounds of two bodies joined as one: skin against skin, high pitched gasps and occasional throaty groans, nails scratching against Leon’s back and leaving red marks in their wake, a subtle noise, but there nonetheless.
“Yeah? How much?”
“Too much. Could never get you outta my mind.” He admitted, burying his head against your neck to leave open-mouthed kisses all over, smiling when he felt you squirming. “Dreamt about you every night. Every…every morning I woke up, I thought you’d still be by my side.”
His response knocked the breath out of you, God if you could have him closer than physically possible, you would. This was the closest you’d be though, his tip hitting your g-spot, his body flush against yours, it was just the two of you in this never ending universe.
“Leon…Leon…fuck.” You called for him like you needed him to prevent you from crumbling.
He pinned one of your hands to the side of your head and laced his fingers between yours, his head remaining against your other side, raspy grunts and incoherent praises rumbling against your ear. He gently bit your earlobe, tugging at it and sending a shiver down your spine.
Despite all his self doubts, Leon knew how to love, how to send another person to cloud nine and make their head fuzzy with sheer euphoria. He wasn’t fucking you, he was loving you, there’s a clear difference.
His lips trailed to your jawline, eventually reaching your lips and initiating an uncoordinated make out session, the sound of dazed out whimpers and quiet growls mixing together perfectly.
He was getting there, his pace more erratic than before, his hand squeezing yours tightly. “You’re so pretty.” He mumbled against your lips, speaking in between rushed pecks. “Prettiest girl in the world.”
You managed to smile at that. “Yeah? Well you’re the prettiest boy in the world.”
You could’ve said handsome. Or hot. Or cute. But Leon was pretty, that was always the first thing that came to your mind. He was like a model, surely some agency would have tried to recruit him if he were actually in broad daylight more.
“Mm.” He liked the compliment. No more words were exchanged after that, he was focused on feeling you. Feeling the way you took all of him like it was nothing, clearly the two of you were physically made for one another.
There was no going back from this, Leon couldn’t bear the thought of getting a taste of happiness yet again and then falling back into a hopeless pit. He wouldn’t push you away again.
You were already sensitive from the way he had made you cum on his face earlier. You pulled away from his kisses, your head thrashing side to side against the pillow instead, your hips desperately bucking to meet his.
“Leon…”
“Just let go for me, you can do it.”
Moans ripped from your throat, your nails leaving crescent indents on his skin as your body writhed underneath him. Leon couldn’t take his eyes off of you as you came, his own stomach feeling tighter and tighter until he followed suit.
“I love you.” He let it slip at the very end, his mind too dazed and his emotions for you running at full blast. You would’ve replied if not for the way you were in awe, watching the way his eyebrows furrowed, his head tilted back, his mouth let out the raspiest grunts as he pulled out and came. Fuck, he couldn’t be real.
It was only then that Leon’s head cleared. He felt his heart sink to his stomach, had he said something wrong? The moment died down, he felt uncertain about how you’d react. Regardless, Leon took a moment to admire you in your flushed state before leaning down to kiss your head, then lying down beside you and pulling you to his side.
You were all dazed with his confession lingering in your head.
He still loved you. Maybe it was obvious, but hearing it aloud was a completely different feeling.
All the suppressed emotions between the two of you were being put on the spotlight. Your eyes brimmed with unshed tears, you tried to blink them away, but you failed.
Leon wished your eyes hadn’t gotten glossy and that your lips hadn’t tugged into a small frown. It made his heart physically ache. Heavy hearted, that’s what he felt like, swallowing to try to alleviate just how sore his throat felt all of a sudden. Guilt bubbled in his stomach because he knew he was the source of your tears.
He kissed away your tears, welcoming the salty taste of them.
He couldn’t tell you not to cry, he wasn’t in the position to. All he could do was reassure you instead, curling his hand into a fist before rubbing soothing circles onto your back as he watched you curl against him.
“Hey…”
“Sorry. I didn't mean to start crying. I just…you still love me? Did you mean that?”
“It’s okay. Just let it out, I'm here for you.” He had your head tucked underneath his chin. “And yeah…I never stopped.”
“I love you too.”
He wasn’t leaving this time.
Maybe that ring he held onto would find its true owner soon.
You, his sweet girl.
#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x fem reader#leon kennedy smut#resident evil x reader#resident evil smut#leon kennedy oneshot#resident evil oneshot
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Ovulating as we speak but anyway.
Sandor seeing y/n holding a baby and he can't stop imagining what it would be like if they had a baby together. 🤭
(mayhaps a little bit of smut)
Thicker Than Water🤍
Sandor x Reader CW: NSFW, MDNI, Oral (Fem Rec), Breeding Kink (obvi), Afab reader, baby fever. A/N: Your Honor, My client was ovulating!☝️🧐 okey girl you said “a little bit of smut” and if it pleases the jury i did the whole damn thing.
After the war was fought and won, you and Sandor still lived within Winterfell. He had a new occupation working as a groundskeeper. He never thought he’d ever have let alone enjoy an occupation that did not center around violence.
But once the war was over you made him swear he’d never put himself in harm's way for no good reason.
While Sandor was off chopping wood, you were walking past the watering well when you saw a woman trying to pump her bucket full while holding onto her babe in her arms.
You approached her, not knowing that around the corner your Husband was approaching you.
“My Lady, would you like some help with that?” You said, offering to pump the water into the bucket for her.
“That would be lovely!” She said, pushing the babe into your arms.
Sandor watched the exchange from afar, he chuckled to himself as you looked overwhelmed by the babe in your arms. But something naturally maternal instinct took over you and he saw it.
the babe in your arms reached up in an attempt to grab your nose, however their attempt was futile as their arms were far too short. You smiled and you took the babe's hand and kissed it sweetly as you rocked and bounced the babe.
Sandor found himself watching you in awe.
You traced your finger gently down the babes forehead down the bridge of their nose, all the way down until the tip of their nose.
He felt a strange wave of emotion. One he’d not ever felt before.
He’d thought in passing of having children. More so how awful he’d be as a father. But things had changed around him and within him, drastically changed.
He wasn’t the Kings Dog anymore and he wasn’t in the South. And most importantly now he had you. And you had him. He was yours completely.
He thought of your belly swollen with his babe. How plump your breasts would get, how everyone would know truly that you were his. But then he thought of how beautiful you’d look carrying his babe in your arms. How he’d watch that babe grow, how they’d carry your features, and his own. He wondered what they’d look like, would they have your hair? Or would they have his? Would they have your eyes? Your nose? Your-
His day dreaming was interrupted when he heard you ask, “Worst pain I’ve heard. Worse than any pain in the world I’ve heard.” You said. You’d heard the awful awful stories of women who’d even died in childbirth. But with the babe in your arms you couldn’t help but feel a sense of possibility.
The woman laughed a little, “Aye, it’s not nearly as pleasurable to produce it as it is to make it. But you are left with the most splendid thing.” The woman said.
You smiled, “He is quite splendid isn't he?” You ran your fingers along the babe's sparse hair, “Aren’t you?” The Babe cooed back and you snuggled them a little closer, unable to help yourself.
Maybe you wanted this too.
The woman finished filling her bucket, she looked over at you and the Babe, “You should have one.” Your eyes went wide and your mouth went dry. Sandor did too even though he had heard it from afar. The woman laughed, ”I felt the same, but once you’ve got one you’ll never know how you ever could have lived without them.” The woman smiled at you warmly,
That was when Sandor finally came to you,
“(Y/N), we better be off.” He said, trying to ignore the babe in your arms as it cooled at him. If he dared look it might have stopped his heart.
You nodded, “Right,” You smiled at the woman “I’d better return this to you,” You said as you gave her back her child.
As you took Sandors arm and walked home you and he didn’t talk about it, but you both thought about it.
꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱
Later that night, you couldn’t stop thinking about the babe, or more accurately, the prospect of you having one of your own.
It’s not that the thought never occurred, it had, but it was war.
When you were coupled he always spilled his seed on your belly, on your thighs, on your arse, or in your pretty mouth. And the very few times that he couldn’t pull himself out in time you were lucky enough to have access to Moon Tea herbs.
As you finished the soup you were making for supper you poured a bowl for him and placed it in front of him while he sat at your table. As you stood beside him he snaked an arm around you and pulled you closer, he placed his large hand against your belly making you giggle and squirm but his arm around you kept you in place.
“What’re you doing?” You asked, smiling as you placed your hand on top of his that was on your stomach.
“Do you want one?” He asked you earnestly as he rubbed your belly slightly,
Your eyes went wide, and heat spread across your cheeks, “Want what?” You knew what.
“A babe.” His deep brown eyes met your own, his gaze was warm and so inviting. Like a fire on a cold night.
You felt your face go red completely, “What?”
“In here,” He asking gripping onto the plushness of your belly making you squirm even more.
“Y-yes.” You whimpered, “Do you?” You asked, running your hand over his cheek.
“Aye,” He said, his voice low and hoarse. “I want no other woman,” He began as his hand that was holding you in place snaked up your back and began to pull at your dress ties. “To carry a babe of mine.” He finished as your dress came loose.
He pulled the sleeve that covered your shoulder down, he pulled you closer onto his lap and kissed at your exposed skin. Soon, he pulled it even lower than that exposing your breast. He kissed, licked, and bit at your skin sending shock waves of pleasure through you. You caressed his head and ran your other hand over his back, digging your nails into the leathers of his top.
“Ah!” You moaned as his hand traveled over your ass, squeezing it pushing you closer to his body. He gave you one good spank before his hand moved lower and in between your legs. His middle finger teased your clothed entrance. His mouth abandoned your breast and moved to your mouth. You moaned and whimpered into his lips.
Your hands left Sandor's face and roamed down over his neck, his chest, his stomach, and finally to his aching cock that was uncomfortably trapped in his breeches. You looked into his eyes intensely as you released him from his pants. His cock was eager as it sprung out and practically straight into your hands. You stroked him, letting him groan into your mouth as you gripped him harder, and harder, stroking harder and harder.
He let go of you for a moment to swipe the table of the bowl of soup you’d placed there as he pushed you onto it.
As you laid back onto the dining table panting with anticipation, Sandor ripped your small clothes off of you, to which you squealed “Sandor!”
“No more of these fucking things.” He huffed and got on his knees between your legs, “I don’t want you wearing any of those fucking things before I get you good and bred, aye?” He commanded you, You nodded, your eyes dazed and love struck looking at your husband between your legs. “Good,” He said as he spit on your cunt, then rubbed his spit into your clit with his thumb.
As he rubbed your clit with his thumb he fucked you with his tongue. You threw your head back and arched your back at the wonderful sensation. However it didn’t last too long as he stood, “You’re good and ready now.” He said, making you feel slightly embarrassed but you couldn’t dwell on it for too long before he held out his palm to you, “Spit,” He commanded, and so you did. You spit into the palm of his hand and he stroked his length with it.
You propped yourself up by your elbows as you watched him line himself up with your entrance. He looked at you and you nodded in desperation. He began to push himself into you, “Seven-fucking-hells!” He hissed as you clenched down on him immediately.
“Sandor!” You whined, his eyes blinked to yours, “Kiss me!” You desperately moaned out.
He leaned down over you as he grinded in and out of your weeping cunt. You wrapped your arms and legs around him, holding him close to you. He thrusted into you with a brutal pace, you thought for certain the table was going to give out. But his kisses were sensual and slow. They were a testament to his love and devotion for you, and only you. His wife, his woman, and he was determined to make you the mother of his child. “Look at me,” He said, trying to hold back his own moans of pleasure, “Look at me when I spill my seed into you.” He said, “Do you want that? You want my seed?” He asked you, teasing you slightly.
“Yes! Please, Sandor!” You gasped, whimpering into his lips, “Please my love, I need your seed, only yours, no one else-” You said staring deep into his eyes,
“No one else?” His thrusts began to be more erratic and his groans were more apparent.
You shook your head, “No one, only you,” You closed your eyes for a moment as your face contorted to the peak that was approaching you,
“Look at me!” He desperately commanded you,
You looked in his eyes as you reached your high, “Please, please my love-” You begged, and Gods it done him in,
He growled and pressed his hips flush with yours, making sure he was as deep as he could be inside of your cunt. You could feel the heat of his seed spilling into you, “AH!” you cried out at the intense pleasure of it all.
Sandor practically collapsed on top of you, he panted as he rested his head on your bosom. You ran your hands through his hair and down his back.
He stood, and pulled himself out of you. However when he saw his seed begin to spill out of you he pushed his softened cock back into you making you gasp slightly,
“Can’t have that go to waste, or I’ll have to fuck you harder next time, aye?”
Want a request? Check the current request status here > ♥️♥️♥️♥️
#request#sandor x reader#sandor clegane x reader#Sandor clegane#got x princess reader#sandor the hound clegane#game of thrones x reader#sandor clegane#got x reader#got hc#game of thrones#the hound#got#sandor headcanon#sandor#sandor clegane fanfic#the hound fanfic#sandor fluff#sandor fanfic#sandor clegane smut#sandor clegane fic#sandor clegane x you#sandor clegane fluff#sandor fic#game of thrones fic#game of thrones fanfic#game of thrones smut#smut
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Actual goals AF - LUCY x ONA
This fic is brought to you by the inspiration I got watching the Chelsea – Crystal Palace game. Lucy’s goal truly moved me. Or maybe I was just in a little ✨mood✨ to write some smut, who knows.
warnings: smuttttttttt, also some fluff.
summary: post match facetime
words: about 2.4k
‘’Babyyyyyy.’’ Lucy shook her shoes off as she bursted in to her apartment, Ona on FaceTime, she had specifically waited to call her until she’d have some privacy. But in the elevator up to her apartment she couldn’t hold her excitement anymore.
‘’Luce.’’ Ona giggled, seeing the chin of her lover. ‘’beautiful goal, very cool, very casual.’’
‘’Mhm.’’ Lucy smirked, finally looking in to the camera as she had shedded her coat off somewhere in the hallway too. ‘’That’s actually why I called you baby.’’
‘’Is that so.’’ Ona said, chuckling, rolling her eyes. She knew all too well what their traditions where regarding goals, assists, sometimes tackles. Lucy playing good meant, Lucy feeling good, Lucy feeling good meant Lucy getting in a certain mood. She had never complained about it ever, oh no, fucking with a post-match euphoric horny Lucy was one of the best things this earth had to offer and it was all for her. She loved it.
‘’Did you watch the game.’’ Lucy asked excitedly, wondering off to her bedroom.
‘’Mhm, ofcourse.’’ Ona shook her head, ‘’I just told you your goal was a very good goal.’’
‘’Do you remember that match we both scored?’’ Lucy trailed off, ‘’That was-
-yes Luce.’’ Ona interrupted her girlfriend, ‘’I remember perfectly, I’d say our best performance yet.’’
Lucy narrowed her eyes, the game had been nothing special, a bad game maybe even, there had been six goals made that match.
‘’No, I’m not talking about football performance.’’ Ona rolled her eyes. ‘’And don’t act so surprised, you started this call and your motives are very clear.’’ She said sternly as Lucy dropped herself on her bed.
‘’Motives?’’ Lucy smirked, ‘’I can’t call my girlfriend after I’ve scored.’’
‘’You would’ve called me straight away in the car.’’
‘’Maybe I wanted to listen some music, maybe I didn’t have my phone connected to the car and I didn’t want to text and drive.’’
‘’Maybe you waited until you were home so you could have phone sex.’’
Lucy’s eyes widened at Ona’s bluntness, ‘’I-.’’
‘’Ohhh, sorry I totally misinterpreted.’’ Ona said cheekily, changing from sitting against the headboard to laying on her stomach, kicking her feet in the air as she bit her lip looking at Lucy on her screen. ‘’Tell me about the game then.’’
‘’Phone sex.’’ Lucy repeated, seemingly the only words she had picked up. ‘’Well if you want that.’’
Ona rolled her eyes, ‘’don’t turn this all on me now.’’
‘’You’re right,’’ Lucy chuckled and sat up straighter, ‘’I wish we were in the same room right now so fucking bad.’’
‘’Oh yeah?’’
‘’Mhm,’’ Lucy groaned from the thought alone, she had some very vivid memories coming to the front of her brain all of a sudden, she shifted and started kicking her trousers down, ‘’but since I’m not there,’’ she shifted getting the pants past her ankles, ‘’you can maybe get some stuff out.’’ She boldly suggested.
‘’Stuff?’’ Ona chuckled, she had always found Lucy’s prudeness funny, for someone who did so many unholy things she had suspiciously much problems with calling things by their name. She herself was very openminded, very comfortable around the topic. Sometimes she even thought talking about sex was the most important part about sleeping with someone.
‘’Uh yeah.’’ Lucy scratched her neck, ‘’get the, uh.’’ Her cheeks flushed, she cleared her throat, ‘’get some toys, uhm.’’
Ona looked back at Lucy with an unfazed smile, ‘’which ones, love?’’ she said with a little smirk.
‘’The one I bought you most recently,’’ Lucy started, a little more certain, already getting wet about the thrill of seeing Ona ride the thick silicone dildo, possibly sooner rather then later. ‘’And a vibe.’’ She added after some quick thought.
Ona chuckled, ‘’mkay.’’ She shuffled and Lucy saw nothing more then a little forehead, a little ceiling, a little shoulder as Ona rummaged through the drawer.
‘’Okay lay them on the bed, and now first undress.’’ Lucy said, her eyes fixed on her iPhone, ‘’put the phone up on the nightstand, show me baby.’’
‘’Mhmmm, a performance for a performance.’’ Ona said as she propped her phone up against a stack of books she had yet to read.
Ona giggled, ‘’guess you deserve it after that performance, hm?’’
"Yeah because i did so well tonight"
‘’You’re so sexy, I miss you so much.’’ Lucy said as she watched Ona undress.
She watched intently as Ona sensually undid herself from her clothes. It didn’t take long until she was just in her panties as she hadn’t been wearing much.
Lucy’s breath hitched at the sight of Ona standing there, clad only in her panties, her skin glowing under the soft light of her bedroom. Ona smiled knowingly, that playful smirk Lucy loved so much.
“You like what you see, don’t you?” Ona teased, running a finger along the waistband of her panties.
Lucy swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. "You know I do, baby. Now, why don’t you get rid of the rest? Slowly."
Ona bit her lip, loving the control she held over her even through the screen. She hooked her thumbs into her panties and slid them down her hips, drawing the moment out, knowing exactly how to keep Lucy hanging on every movement.
Lucy’s hand drifted down between her own thighs, her fingers brushing over the wetness that had been building since they started talking. “Fuck, Ona, you’re so hot. I need you so bad. I need you right now.”
Ona chuckled softly, her hands roaming over her own body, teasing herself with light touches, grazing her fingertips over her stomach and up to her breasts. She lingered there, squeezing softly, knowing how much Lucy loved watching her play with herself.
Her body was already starting to respond, her skin warming under her own touch. Her fingers drifted lower, brushing the inside of her thighs, making her hips shift. “Tell me what you want me to do.”
Lucy groaned in frustration, her eyes locked on the screen, watching as Ona’s hand slowly crept closer to where she wanted to be, to where she wanted to have her mouth, her fingers, her strap. Ona’s fingers slipped between her legs, grazing over her folds as she bit her lip, letting out a small sigh that made Lucy’s pulse race. Lucy could see the glistening wetness on her fingertips, the subtle shiver that ran through Ona’s body at her own touch, and it drove her crazy.
Lucy’s chest rose and fell with labored breaths, her fingers already wet from her own arousal. “So fucking hot,” she muttered, eyes glued to the screen. “Now grab the vibe.”
Ona’s lips parted slightly, excitement flashing across her face as she reached for the small vibrator, holding it up for Lucy to see. She pressed it against her inner thigh first, letting the vibrations tease her as she rolled her hips forward. Lucy’s breath hitched, watching intently as Ona played with herself, her body responding to the vibrations before she even touched her clit.
"Fuck, Ona, you’re driving me insane," Lucy groaned, her own body arching slightly in response to the sight. "Now... put it where I know you need it."
Ona bit her lip, slowly moving the vibrator between her legs, letting it hover just above her clit, teasing herself, and Lucy, for a few more moments. Then, with a shaky breath, she pressed it against her clit, her hips jerking as the pleasure shot through her. A soft moan escaped her lips as her eyes fluttered shut, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure through her body.
“Ona…” Lucy’s voice was strained, desperate, her self-control slipping. She bit her lip, trying to regain some composure as her own hand mimicked the motions on her own body. Fuck a build-up she thought. “Pick up the dildo,” she instructed, her voice dropping low and husky. “I want you to use it, ride it for me.”
Ona looked at her phone a little desperate, she was just getting started.
‘’You look so pretty riding it.’’ Lucy cooed, ‘’Please baby, show me how pretty you are.’’
She put the vibrator off and tossed it further onto the bed. She reached over, grabbing the other toy and positioned herself at the edge of the bed, making sure Lucy had the perfect view by turning her phone a little bit. “Like this?” she asked, her voice dripping with sweetness, teasing as she climbed over the silicone length, lowering herself slowly until the tip barely touched her entrance.
Lucy’s fingers moved faster against herself as she watched, her heart racing. “Fuck, yes. Just like that. I want to see you take it all.”
Ona didn’t need to be told twice. She slowly sank down onto the dildo, her head falling back with a soft moan as she felt it stretch her. Lucy’s breath hitched, her eyes glued to the screen as Ona began to move, rolling her hips in a slow, deliberate rhythm.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Lucy groaned, her body trembling with need. She could feel herself getting closer, the sight of Ona riding the toy pushing her over the edge. “Touch yourself for me, baby. I want to see you cum.”
Ona’s hand slid between her legs again, finding her clit as she rode the toy, her hips moving in slow, deliberate circles. The sensation of the dildo filling her deeply, combined with the teasing circles on her sensitive clit, made her gasp, her moans filling the room as she followed Lucy’s command. The pleasure built quickly, her body tingling with the intensity of it, her legs shaking slightly as she rocked against the toy.
Lucy’s eyes were half-lidded, her own pleasure nearing its peak. “That’s it, Ona. Let me hear you, baby.”
Ona’s moans grew louder, her body shaking as she rode the toy harder, her fingers working her clit in fast circles. “L-Lucy,” she panted, her voice breaking.
Ona’s breath was ragged, her body teetering on the edge. “L-Lucy... it feels so good,” she whimpered, her voice breaking with the intensity of it. Her fingers moved faster against her clit as she quickened her pace, the toy filling her deeply with each roll of her hips. “I’m so close...”
Lucy’s breath came in short gasps as her own climax built to a crescendo. “Cum with me, Ona,” she whispered, her fingers moving faster. “Cum f-for me.”
That was all it took. Ona’s body tensed, her back arching as the orgasm crashed over her, her moans spilling out freely. The sight of Ona coming undone was too much for Lucy, she followed her over the edge, her own body shaking as waves of pleasure pulsed through her.
For a moment, neither of them could speak, the only sound filling the air was their heavy breathing. Ona slumped forward, resting on her arms as she caught her breath, a satisfied smile on her face.
As the waves of pleasure finally subsided, both Lucy and Ona remained in a blissful, breathless haze. Ona collapsed back onto her bed, her body still tingling, while Lucy lay sprawled out on her own, her heart slowly returning to a normal rhythm.
“Baby,” Ona murmured, still catching her breath, her voice gentle and affectionate. “You okay?”
Lucy, flushed and exhausted, managed a soft chuckle. “Hmm, better than okay,” she replied, her voice raspy from the intensity of it all. “You… you’re incredible, Ona.”
Ona smiled softly, her fingers absentmindedly tracing circles on her stomach as she basked in the afterglow. “You too, Luce. I wish I could hold you right now.”
“God, me too,” Lucy sighed, the reality of the distance hitting her again now that the euphoria had passed. She propped herself up on her elbow, looking at Ona’s face on the screen. “Soon though, yeah? We’ll be together soon.”
Ona nodded, her eyes softening. “Mhm,” she agreed, with a short hum. She reached for her phone, settling into a more comfortable position, her head resting on her pillow. “But for now, let’s just stay like this. I want you here with me… even if it’s through the phone.”
“Yeah,” Lucy agreed, her voice quieter now, as if the vulnerability of the moment had calmed her completely. She mirrored Ona’s movement, laying back on her own pillow, holding her phone close to her face. “Me too.”
They lay there in comfortable silence for a few moments, just the sounds of their soft breathing filling the space between them. There was no need for words, just the quiet intimacy of being connected, of feeling each other's presence even across the distance.
“Hey,” Lucy whispered after a while, her voice thick with sleepiness. “Did I tell you I love you today?”
Ona giggled softly, her eyes closing as the warmth of Lucy’s voice lulled her. “You might’ve, but I wouldn’t mind hearing it again.”
“I love you, Ona,” Lucy said, her voice full of sincerity, a smile tugging at her lips despite her tiredness. ''I love you so, so much.''
“I love you too, Lucy,” Ona whispered back.
They continued to talk in soft murmurs, sharing gentle words of affection and reassurances of their love, the exhaustion from their long day and intense moment slowly catching up to them.
Lucy’s voice became softer and slower with each word, and soon enough, Ona could hear the steady rhythm of her breathing, knowing Lucy had finally drifted off to sleep. A smile spread across Ona’s face as she watched her lover sleep through the screen, feeling an overwhelming sense of peace.
“Goodnight, my love,” she whispered, not expecting a response. She cuddled up to her own pillow, her phone still resting besides her.
Within moments, she also fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, the two of them connected by the soft glow of their phones.
Their hearts were fully intertwined even if they were miles apart.
//
yupp
#lucy bronze smut#woso smut#woso fanfics#lucy bronze x ona batlle#lucy bronze#lucy bronze x reader#woso imagine#woso#ona batlle smut#ona batlle#woso x reader
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No Longer Yours
James Potter x Female!Reader
A/N: I am trying a new way of writing these stories, there won't be lots of dialogue in this part, but there will be more; this is just a look into where the story starts.
IB: In The Cold November Rain by @sweetsweetjellybean (Make sure to check it out, it’s amazing and one of the best I’ve ever read !)
Summary: James had disregarded you for multiple years, but when you have an epiphany in your final year, how does it feel to taste his own medicine?
Warning: It may contain swearing and soon-to-be smut.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
You never considered yourself to be a pushover when it came to things. Instead, you would use the word "understanding" and used it the most when it came to James Fleamont Potter.
He meant the absolute world to you since you were nine when you first met him. He lived next to you, both of your rooms being next to each other. You could always see him in his window, not that you were stalking, but you could never quite get your eyes off him.
Every time he would catch you staring, he would give you a wave, never felt weirded out. Then he would ring you up and ask you to come for dinner with your family. You would always accept unless your mother insisted on not intruding on them anymore.
You always caught his look of disappointment when you told him you couldn't come over, seeing him on the phone with you. It would always make your heart flutter, always having to stop the smile from forming on your face.
And then, after dinner, he would always come over, and you two would hang out (of course, with the door open). But you knew James would never try anything.
Your parents had suspicions when you both were fully formed teenagers and had hormones. Again, you knew James wasn't a perv; he respected you.
Even when he would slap your thigh in laughter when you said a joke or when his front pressed against your back when you two joked around, or his touch would linger when he ticked you.
But that was all besides the point; you loved James like no other. You loved the rest of the Marauders, too, but with James, there was no questioning if the love was different.
The only times you weren't sure about that 'love' was when Lily Evans would come around. He never truly knew how to pay attention to or regard you when she came around, but he claimed it was 'love.'
You wondered if he loved Lily the same way you loved him or if it was more complete, passionate, and extraordinary. You could never ask; James wouldn't know what to do. You couldn't blame Lily, it wasn't her fault, and she turned down his advances multiple times.
You were sure that James would move on, but then, during sixth year, Lily confessed that she was starting to have a crush on James.
You tried hiding your disappointment, but it was hard; it nearly broke your heart; you knew James would tell you all about it as soon as you saw him again.
There was no wish to be cruel, but a part of you, maybe the whole, was hoping she would joke. Perhaps she would again realize how immature James was and remember how he bullied Snape.
But that would be selfish and unfair to James; you were supposed to be his best friend, and he deserves this.
And you knew Lily was kind, beautiful, thoughtful, and honest. She deserved James more than he deserved her. You wouldn't break her happiness because it was pure; if you did, it would be evil.
So when she asked you if you were okay with that, constantly questioning your feelings towards James, you said,
"Of course, you should go out with James," You placed a hand on her shoulder, "I think you two would be amazing together." A genuine bright smile passed your face as she embraced you and thanked you for being truthful with her.
While they dated, James would always tell you every time he and Lily did something.
From every kiss, every date, and every cute moment to Lily laughing at a joke he made about crisps in Hogsmeade or the dove they saw randomly, which is a sign that they are genuinely in love.
After telling you every detail, he would embrace you in a tight hug so you could smell his scent entirely. He would thank you for being "such a good friend and say that "he loves you."
You knew he loved you but you wished he loved you in a different way. A way that his heart would scrunch when you were around or a way that made him want to compliment your hair or your smile like he did with Lily.
You wished it pissed you off enough to be mad at him, but every time he hugged you, you forgave him and knew it was just him being happy and wanting to tell a friend.
He still always joked around with you the same and bantered with you, but it was just less, you wanted more, but he could only give you so much time, and you knew that.
Only a few of your friends understood, like Remus and Dorcas. They would comfort you in every moment when you felt unsure of yourself, or you just wanted to talk.
You probably would have been misunderstood if it weren't for them, but they acknowledged and validated your feelings.
That's what got you through that time.
Nonetheless, there was no point in dwelling on past memories. James and Lily broke up at the end of that very year, it being mutual due to the realization of too many things clashing.
He was a bit of a wreck but recognized that it was for the better. It didn't stop him from sometimes crying in your arms, talking about how much he missed Lily.
Eventually, James started to move on, talking to you more, joking with you, and inviting you to sit next to him at dinner. You had missed this for so long and were grateful.
He went back to tickling you and playfighting with you. He would even make you sit with him during potions.
This was until the end of the year Quidditch match, Gryffindor had won, and excitement had raised. You went to congratulate James on the win, having a big jar of Fizzing Whizbees in your hand, his favorite.
You opened the door a crack, overhearing him but not wanting to interrupt his conversation with the rest of the Quidditch team.
"Come on, Potter, don't tell me you aren't going to snog her tonight," A boy you recognized as Matthew Collingwood teased, "She's been over you for years; why not just hit it and quit it?" Your face contorted to disgust after hearing his use of words.
"Don't tell me you are talking about Y/n," James scoffed, "There is no way I would ever think of her like that," A part of your heart broke hearing his words; he didn't even defend his last words.
"I mean, she does have a fat bum," Another boy laughed.
"Oy, she's like a sister to me, don't talk about her like that," James warned, his tone sounding half serious as the boy put his hands up jokingly.
A sister.
"Okay, but come on, Potter, you have to shag her at least once before we graduate," Matthew sneered.
"Listen, boys, I wouldn't touch Y/n if she were the last girl on earth," He belittled, "Besides, she would cling to my cock like crazy after that; I mean, look at her now, can't even take a piss without her peering over my shoulder." He gestured, pretending to take a piss and looking behind him to see if you were around.
The boys hollered, laughing at James’s visual representation of you.
Tears brimmed your eyes as you dropped the glass-made jar, shattering in the process. You let go of the door, turning your heel to run away.
The tears started running down your cheeks as you wiped each of them as they came. You went under a tree, crying your eyes out, wondering why James would be so cruel.
He was your best friend, and you thought he loved you enough to not make fun of you. James could sometimes be thoughtless, but he never was brutal to you.
Did he really think you were clingy, consistently all over him? Did he get annoyed by how much you were around him? Would he never like you even if you were the last girl on the planet?
You were humiliated, embarrassed by his words, his thoughts. Every feeling of James Potter that made you happy and wanted to fall into his arms turned into hate and resentment, his words reiterating in your mind a thousand times.
That night, you vowed never to make James Potter make you feel that way again.
So that night, you didn't join the celebration. You told your friends that your stomach was hurting and you weren't in the mood for festivities.
You didn't know if James had asked where you were during that night, and you didn't want to know after the words he had shared with others.
Since you were allowed to leave Hogwarts the day after summer began, you did. You didn't wait for James to go with you; you left without him, wishing all your friends goodbye, dismissing all questions about why you were leaving early and blaming it on your mother's wishes.
"Okay, well," Lily sighed, "Make sure to ring me over the summer and visit if you can." You embraced her and nodded your head, telling her that you will.
"And don't forget to ring me as well," Dorcas said from behind you as you went over to her and hugged her tightly, "Whatever he did," She whispered in your ear, "Give him hell."
You pulled out of the hug and gave her a smile, "I will."
As she left, you approached the Gryffindor common room to find Remus reading as usual.
"Gonna wish a good friend goodbye?" Remus questioned, looking over at you. You were glad he wasn’t questioning why you were leaving so early in the morning.
"How could I ever not?" You asked, embracing him for a minute.
"So, are you gonna tell me what he did?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"How do you and Dorcas know everything?" You said, rolling your eyes.
"How good of friends would we be if we didn't." He smirked, "I can ta-"
You cut him off, "No, this is not your responsibility; I will take care of it." You smiled, "But thank you for caring; it means the most to me."
"Of course," He said as you nodded and turned to leave, "And take care of yourself." You turned back, giving him a reassuring smile.
After saying all your goodbyes for the school year, you sat in a window seat, looking at the school you loved dearly. You never thought you could quite say this, but you were ready for home.
Once you returned home, a letter was waiting for you on your window seal stating,
Dear Y/n,
Give him hell.
Sincerely the only one you need,
Dorcas Meadows.
And what kind of friend would you be if you didn't do what was asked?
#james potter#james potter x y/n#james potter x reader#marauders era#hp#hogwarts#harry potter#singmyaubade#tw mature#toxic!james#toxic!reader#james potter x you#marauders x reader#marauders#james potter smut#james potter x female!reader#harry potter marauders#the marauders#marauders imagine#marauders smut#lily evans#remus lupin#sirius black#y/n l/n#y/n moment#peter pettigrew#james & peter & remus & sirius#marauders fandom#dead gay wizards#marlene mckinnon
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Could I request some wholesome headcanons of the men meeting their baby for the first time after Tav gives birth? I’m a sucker for babies in your content!
More babies content yess!!!!
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Gale:
The dim light of the morning sun filtered into the room, casting soft golden hues over the bed where you rested, utterly exhausted but overwhelmed with the bliss of the moment. Your body ached in ways you didn’t even know were possible, and every breath felt like a sigh of relief after the long labor. Beside you, swaddled in a blanket, was your newborn baby, sleeping peacefully after the chaos of their arrival into the world.
You hadn’t expected to be awake when Gale entered the room, but his soft footsteps and the quiet rustle of his robes stirred you. He had waited so patiently, just beyond the threshold, giving you the time you needed to rest. But now, as he crossed the room to you, there was an unmistakable excitement in his eyes, an eager anticipation that couldn’t be contained. The moment he saw you and the baby together, Gale’s face lit up with sheer joy.
"You did it," he breathed, voice full of awe. "You’re incredible. Truly, I've never seen such strength and beauty in all my life—no hero in any story could compare to what you’ve done today!"
His words poured out in a rush, and you could see the way his hands trembled with barely contained excitement. He knelt beside the bed, his eyes shimmering with emotion as he gazed at you, then at the baby. "The most remarkable thing I’ve ever witnessed! You brought life into this world, my love. You’re an absolute marvel—no, more than that. You're—"
You raised a hand, placing it gently on his arm, a tired but fond smile playing on your lips.
"Gale," you interrupted softly, your voice filled with affection but laced with exhaustion. "Thank you, but… please… can you just hold the baby? And maybe just a be a tad quieter, my love."
He blinked, clearly caught off guard by your request. "Ah, of course," he said, his voice faltering for just a moment. But then, with that same boyish enthusiasm that made you fall for him in the first place, he beamed at you. "Of course! I’m sorry, I’m just… overwhelmed, darling."
Carefully, with a reverence that spoke volumes of his love and care, Gale leaned down and lifted the tiny bundle into his arms. His movements were delicate, as though holding the baby was the most important spell he had ever cast. The look of pure wonder on his face as he cradled your child for the first time made your heart swell.
As the baby shifted slightly in his arms, Gale’s eyes widened with joy.
"Oh, my little one," he whispered, his voice full of tenderness, but he began to get louder and louder the more enthralled with the baby he became. "Look at you—perfect in every way. Already a miracle, just like your mother."
You couldn’t help but chuckle quietly, exhaustion still pulling at your limbs, but the sight of Gale with the baby was enough to lift your spirits.
"Gale, you’re doing it again," you teased gently. "Just… enjoy the moment."
He blushed faintly, realizing how carried away he had gotten. "Right," he said, lowering his voice to a near-whisper. "Quiet. Yes, of course."
But even as he settled into the quiet, you could see the emotions bubbling up in him, his eyes shining as he gazed down at the baby in his arms. And, in true Gale fashion, he simply couldn’t resist the urge to speak again, though this time it was a soft, almost reverent whisper.
"You are such a wonder," he murmured to the baby, his voice barely audible. "Such a gift. I promise I’ll do everything I can to give you the best life, little one. You’ve already made mine infinitely brighter."
You watched with a smile as he continued to quietly shower the baby with praise, his gentle words filled with awe and love. The sight of him, so full of emotion, yet finally quiet and tender, made your heart swell with warmth. Despite everything, despite his usual tendency to ramble and fill the air with words, in this moment, he was perfect.
"You know," you said softly, your voice laced with amusement, "I think this is the quietest I’ve ever seen you."
Gale glanced up at you, a sheepish grin spreading across his face.
"Well," he whispered, leaning closer to you with the baby nestled securely in his arms, "you did ask me to be quiet. But I’m afraid I can’t help it. You and this little one—you’re both my greatest accomplishments."
You chuckled tiredly, leaning your head back against the pillow as you gazed at him and your child. "You’re impossible."
"And you," he whispered, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your forehead, "are everything."
With your baby safe in his arms and Gale’s quiet whispers filling the room, you felt a deep sense of peace wash over you. For the first time in what felt like hours, you let your eyes close, the sound of Gale’s soft, loving words lulling you into a peaceful rest.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Astarion:
The soft glow of the candlelight cast a gentle warmth across the room as you rested in bed, utterly exhausted but blissfully content. The labor had been long and difficult, but now your baby, your child, lay swaddled in a soft blanket, sleeping peacefully beside you. Every muscle in your body ached, and your mind was a whirlwind of emotions—love, joy, and exhaustion mingled together.
But there was one more thing you needed to happen, one more piece of this moment that would make it complete. You glanced at Astarion, who stood a few steps away, his eyes fixed on the baby with a look you hadn’t seen before—hesitation. His usual confidence, his sly, charming demeanor, had melted away entirely, replaced by something raw and uncertain.
He was standing there like he was staring at some delicate, untouchable treasure, unsure of how to proceed. His hands twitched at his sides, as though he wanted to reach out but couldn’t quite bring himself to do it. You sighed softly, though there was a smile tugging at your lips.
“Astarion,” you said, your voice a little weak but firm nonetheless. “I just spent hours bringing this baby into the world. I think you can handle holding them for a few minutes.”
Astarion blinked, his gaze snapping to you as if he’d been caught in some sort of reverie.
“Oh, darling,” he began, his usual velvet tone laced with uncertainty, “I’m not so sure about that. I mean… what if I drop them? Or—gods forbid—what if they cry? Or worse, what if they don’t like me?” His voice was unusually soft, tinged with a vulnerability you rarely saw from him. You raised an eyebrow, half amused and half exasperated.
“In the nicest possible way my love, get a grip,” you said, though your tone was gentle, knowing how much this moment was overwhelming him. “I promise you, they won’t break if you hold them. And after everything we’ve been through together, I doubt our child is going to be scared of you.”
He hesitated for a moment longer, glancing back at the tiny bundle resting peacefully beside you.
The vulnerability in his eyes tugged at your heart, but you weren’t going to let him stay trapped in his fear. You reached out with your hand, gesturing toward the baby. “Come on, Astarion. I know you’re not afraid of something this small.”
Astarion took a slow breath, then gave you a weak smile. “You make a compelling argument, my love. Very well, if I must.” There was a teasing lilt to his words, but the nervousness in his eyes remained.
He approached slowly, like a predator stalking something fragile and precious, his usual grace turning into something cautious. With careful, almost exaggerated precision, he knelt beside the bed and reached out. His hands hovered above the baby for a moment, and you could see the hesitation still lingering in the way his fingers trembled slightly.
But finally, with a steadying breath, he slid his hands beneath the baby, lifting them up into his arms. The moment the tiny weight settled against him, Astarion froze. His eyes widened, and for a moment, he just stared down at the small, sleeping face nestled against his chest. The baby’s tiny fingers twitched, and Astarion’s expression softened in a way you had never seen before.
You watched as something shifted in him—his fear giving way to awe. The tension in his shoulders melted, and he cradled the baby closer, his arms instinctively wrapping around them with surprising tenderness.
“Well,” he whispered, his voice barely audible, “I think they’re still in one piece.”
You couldn’t help but laugh softly. “I told you they wouldn’t break.”
Astarion looked up at you, his eyes shimmering with emotion.
“They’re so small,” he murmured, his usual bravado stripped away completely. “So… perfect.” He glanced back down at the baby, his thumb gently brushing over their tiny hand. The baby stirred slightly at his touch, their little fingers curling around his thumb, and Astarion’s breath caught in his throat.
For a long moment, he just stared down at the baby, his gaze filled with wonder and disbelief.
“I’ve done a lot of things in my life,” he said quietly, as if speaking too loudly would shatter the delicate peace of the moment. “Most of them… not good. But this…” He shook his head, his voice thick with emotion. “This is something I never thought I’d have.”
You smiled, your heart swelling with love for him.
“You deserve this,” you said softly. “We both do.”
Astarion’s eyes flicked back to you, and for a moment, his gaze was full of something vulnerable, something raw.
“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice trembling slightly. “For this. For them. For… everything.”
You reached out, placing your hand on his arm, feeling the tension still lingering beneath the surface.
“You’re going to be an amazing father,” you said firmly, leaving no room for doubt. Astarion let out a soft laugh, though it was tinged with emotion.
“I suppose I’ll have to be, won’t I? Not much choice in the matter now.” But there was no regret in his voice, only a quiet determination. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the baby’s forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment. “You’ve got a lot ahead of you, little one,” he murmured, his voice barely more than a breath. “But don’t worry. Your mother and I will be here, every step of the way.”
He looked at you again, his gaze filled with a quiet intensity.
“Together,” he said, his voice steady now, full of resolve. “We’ll do this together.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Wyll:
Wyll stood at the entrance of your room, a rare hesitation in his posture. He’d fought monsters, faced devils, and had become the Blade of Frontiers, a hero in his own right. But this moment, seeing his child for the first time, had him more nervous than he ever remembered feeling.
He glanced at you, resting on the bed, looking exhausted but radiant, and his heart clenched with overwhelming love. He had witnessed your strength through countless battles, but what you had just endured was something far beyond his understanding. You had brought a new life into the world—his child, your child—and now, it was waiting to meet him for the first time.
The midwife nodded, encouraging him forward, and Wyll took a deep breath before stepping inside. The tiny bundle in her arms was swaddled tightly in a soft blanket, a small, wriggling thing with a mop of dark hair, just like his. His heart pounded in his chest, a mixture of fear and excitement coursing through him as he reached out with trembling hands.
"Go on," you murmured with a tired smile, your voice gentle and reassuring, though you could see the nervousness in his eyes. "Hold your child."
Wyll slowly took the baby into his arms, careful and deliberate, as if he were handling the most fragile treasure in the world. The weight of the tiny body settled against him, and his breath caught in his throat. For a moment, everything else disappeared—the world, the dangers, the chaos. There was only this.
The baby stirred in his arms, letting out a soft, sleepy sound, and Wyll’s heart melted. He looked down into the face of his child, his eyes wide with wonder, and time seemed to stop. He had imagined this moment, dreamed of it even, but nothing could have prepared him for the overwhelming wave of emotion that crashed over him.
"Hello, little one," Wyll whispered, his voice thick with awe. His thumb gently brushed over the baby’s tiny hand, and the baby’s fingers instinctively curled around it. That small gesture made his eyes burn with unshed tears, his chest tightening with a love so fierce it nearly took his breath away. He turned to look at you, his voice soft and filled with emotion.
“Look at them. Just… look at them.” His smile was wide, but there was a hint of disbelief behind it, as if he couldn’t fully grasp that this was real—that this tiny life was part of him, part of you both.
You smiled, your exhaustion temporarily forgotten as you watched Wyll cradle your child. The tenderness in his expression was something you had always loved about him. The way he cared so deeply, not just for you, but for everyone he fought for, everyone he protected. And now, that same fierce devotion was shining through as he held your baby, his baby, as if they were the most precious thing in the world.
Wyll’s gaze returned to the baby, and he chuckled softly, though his voice trembled.
“You’re so small,” he murmured, pressing his forehead against the baby’s. “So perfect.” His words were barely more than a breath, as if speaking too loudly would break the spell of the moment.
He stood there for what felt like an eternity, just staring at the tiny face in his arms, his heart full to bursting. The baby squirmed slightly, and Wyll adjusted his grip, instinctively swaying on his feet to soothe them. His touch was gentle, reverent, as though he couldn’t believe he was allowed to hold something so precious.
For a moment, a flicker of doubt crossed his mind. Would he be a good father? Would he be able to protect this child, to teach them, to give them the life they deserved? But as he looked down at the baby’s peaceful face, those worries seemed to fade. He didn’t know all the answers, but he knew one thing for certain: he would love this child with everything he had.
He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the baby’s forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment.
“You’ve got so much ahead of you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “But don’t you worry. Your mother and I—we’ll be here every step of the way.”
He looked at you again, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “Thank you,” he said, his voice trembling. “For this. For them. For everything.”
He shifted the baby slightly in his arms, cradling them closer to his chest as he sat down beside you. Together, you sat in peaceful silence, the weight of the moment settling over you both. Wyll’s heart was full, more than it had ever been, and as he looked down at the tiny life in his arms, he knew that this was only the beginning.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Halsin:
The room was bathed in the soft glow of a setting sun, casting warm golden light across the floor as you lay in bed, utterly spent but at peace. The long hours of labor had taken everything from you, and yet, you felt a quiet, serene joy as you looked down at the tiny bundle nestled against your chest. Your baby, warm and sleeping soundly after the ordeal, made every ounce of effort worth it.
Halsin had been with you for every moment of the labor, never leaving your side, his strong, reassuring presence a constant comfort. He had been so calm, so focused, using all of his experience as a healer and midwife to guide you through the pain, offering soft words of encouragement, steady hands to hold. He’d seen countless births before, delivered more children than he could remember over the course of his long life. But now, standing near the bed, looking at you and the baby with a strange, hesitant expression on his face, he was a different man.
You caught his eye, seeing the quiet turmoil behind the tenderness in his gaze. He had helped you bring this child into the world, but now, as the reality of it all settled in, it seemed as though Halsin was uncertain. You could sense his hesitation, the way his fingers twitched at his sides, as if he were holding himself back from stepping closer. It was so unlike him to be unsure of anything, especially something as familiar as holding a baby.
“Halsin,” you called softly, your voice still hoarse from the effort. “Come here.”
His eyes flickered to yours, and there was something deep in his gaze—an emotion that he rarely let show. He approached, slowly, as though he were afraid of disturbing the peace of the moment. The air felt heavy with something unspoken, something more than just the awe of meeting his child for the first time. He had held thousands of newborns, but this… this was his.
When he finally reached you, he knelt beside the bed, his large hands resting gently on the mattress as he looked at you and the baby. His gaze was soft, full of love, but there was a trace of uncertainty, a vulnerability that made your heart ache for him.
“I’ve delivered so many babies in my time,” Halsin said quietly, his voice rough with emotion. “I have held them, cared for them, watched their mothers smile with pride… But this is different. This is ours.”
The depth of his words sank into you, and you reached out, placing your hand gently on his.
“Halsin,” you murmured, “you’ve been waiting for this moment for so long.”
He nodded, swallowing hard, his eyes fixed on the tiny form cradled against you.
“I have. And yet, now that it’s here…” His voice wavered for a moment, something that almost never happened to the confident, wise druid. “I find myself unsure.”
You smiled softly, lifting the baby a little, motioning for him to take them. “You’ve done this a thousand times. But I understand—it’s different when it’s your own child.”
He hesitated again, his eyes searching yours for a long moment, before finally reaching out to gently take the baby into his arms. His touch was tender, far more careful than it needed to be for someone who had handled newborns for centuries. But as the baby settled into his arms, the look of awe and wonder on Halsin’s face was something you had never seen before. His whole demeanor shifted, as though the weight of this moment was finally settling in, and he was letting himself feel it fully.
The baby stirred slightly, tiny fists curling and uncurling as they nestled against Halsin’s chest. He breathed out slowly, a deep, shuddering breath, as though the enormity of the moment was finally catching up with him.
“They’re so small,” he whispered, his voice full of wonder. “So… perfect.”
You watched him, your heart swelling with love as you saw the gentle giant of a man cradling the baby with such care, such reverence. There was no one else in the world you trusted more in this moment, and seeing the tenderness in his eyes only made you love him more.
“They are,” you agreed softly. “And they have your nose.”
Halsin’s lips twitched into a soft smile, though his gaze never left the baby’s face.
“I suppose they do,” he murmured, his voice filled with quiet joy. “A piece of me, and a piece of you… a perfect balance.”
For a long moment, the two of you sat in silence, the only sound the gentle breathing of the baby in Halsin’s arms. You watched him, watched the way his heart seemed to melt with every tiny movement, every small breath.
Halsin leaned down slightly, brushing a kiss across the baby’s forehead, his expression full of love and reverence.
“I never imagined this,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “To have something so precious, so full of life, to protect and nurture.”
“You’ll be an amazing father,” you assured him, reaching out to gently brush your fingers against his cheek. “You already are.”
He turned his gaze to you then, and the look in his eyes nearly stole your breath away. There was so much love there, so much gratitude and wonder.
“And you,” he whispered, his voice rough with emotion, “are the most incredible person I’ve ever known. What you’ve done today… you’ve given me a gift I can never repay.”
You smiled softly, your heart full. “You don’t need to repay me, Halsin. We did this together.”
He nodded slowly, his eyes filled with awe as he looked down at the baby again. “Together,” he repeated quietly, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “Always.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Rolan:
The room was dimly lit by the early evening light filtering through the curtains. You lay back in bed, exhausted but content, a quiet joy filling your heart after the long hours of labor. The midwives had just left, and now it was just you, Rolan, and the little bundle swaddled in blankets beside you. Rolan had been pacing for the last few minutes, wringing his hands in that nervous way he did when he was overwhelmed, clearly on the edge of his emotions. You watched him, feeling the anticipation radiating from him, and a soft smile tugged at your lips.
"Rolan," you called gently, your voice tired but warm.
He stopped his pacing and turned to you, his eyes wide, as if he had been waiting for some sort of permission. You knew him well enough to understand what was holding him back—this was new, different, a moment he had been dreaming of but was terrified to actually embrace. He was usually so confident, especially with his magic and his sharp tongue, but here, in the presence of his own child, that facade of arrogance had melted away.
"Come," you said softly, motioning to the baby. "It's your turn."
His eyes flickered from you to the tiny figure nestled in the blankets, and you saw a spark of wonder light up in his gaze. Slowly, as if in a trance, he approached the bedside, his breath coming in shallow, quiet huffs. He stood there for a moment, just looking, his hands trembling slightly as he reached out.
"Are you sure?" he whispered, his voice uncharacteristically soft, a touch of uncertainty in his tone. "What if… What if I—"
"You won't drop them," you assured him with a small smile. "Just hold them like this," you added, gently guiding his hands to support the baby.
Rolan swallowed hard, nodding as he gingerly slid his hands under the baby. As soon as he lifted the tiny bundle into his arms, the world seemed to shift. He held them as if they were the most delicate thing he had ever touched, cradling them close to his chest. The look on his face was one of pure awe, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was holding was real.
"They're… perfect," Rolan whispered, his voice breaking slightly as he gazed down at the baby. His fingers lightly brushed the baby's cheek, and a breathless laugh escaped him when the baby’s tiny hand instinctively curled around one of his fingers. "By the gods, look at them."
The way he said it, with such reverence, such pure admiration, made your heart swell. You had never seen Rolan like this before—completely vulnerable, overwhelmed with emotion, his usually sharp, guarded demeanor utterly gone. His gaze never left the baby's face, his expression full of wonder and disbelief.
"They're beautiful," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "How… How did we do this? How can something so… perfect come from us?"
Tears pricked at your eyes as you watched him, the love and awe in his face making your chest tighten. "It feels unreal, doesn't it?"
Rolan nodded slowly, still staring at the baby with wide, glistening eyes.
"I—I don't even know what to say," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I never thought I could feel this… this way. I never knew…" He trailed off, shaking his head as if words had failed him completely.
The baby stirred slightly in his arms, their tiny face scrunching up for a brief moment before relaxing again, and Rolan's breath hitched. He looked down at the baby as if they were the most precious thing in the world—because, to him, they were. His shoulders sagged slightly as he let out a shaky breath, his gaze softening even further.
"They're so small," he whispered, his voice full of awe. "So fragile. I don't know how to… how to be enough for them."
"You'll be more than enough," you said softly, reaching out to rest a hand on his arm. "Look at you, Rolan. You're already in love with them."
He glanced at you then, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, and he gave you a small, shaky smile.
"How could I not be?" he asked, his voice rough with emotion. "They're… gods, they're perfect."
For a moment, he just stood there, holding the baby close, his expression one of pure, unfiltered love. It was as if the rest of the world had disappeared, and it was just him and the baby, wrapped in a quiet, sacred moment of connection. You could see the way his entire being had softened, the way he was completely, utterly captivated by the tiny life in his arms.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Raphael:
The room was filled with the flickering warmth of the hearthfire, casting long shadows across the walls. You lay in bed, utterly exhausted after the long hours of labor but relieved, heart swelling with joy. A small, fragile bundle rested in your arms—a new life, the child you and Raphael had brought into this world.
Raphael stood near the foot of the bed, his crimson eyes glowing brighter than usual, a mix of wonder, pride, and something else—a fierceness, as if this was a moment he had been anticipating for centuries. His typical, devilish arrogance seemed softened, his sharp grin tempered by genuine emotion.
"My love," he said, his voice as smooth as velvet but tinged with an awe you rarely heard. "You have done it. You have given me an heir—our child."
You could see the pride swelling in him, his chest puffing out as if he were ready to declare this triumph to the entirety of the Nine Hells. He approached the bedside with an intensity in his step, eyes fixed on the newborn. His hands, for once devoid of their usual grandeur, reached out to gently touch the tiny head wrapped in swaddling cloths.
For a moment, his gaze softened even further, lips parting as if to say something tender, but instead, the devil in him couldn't help but emerge. He straightened up, lifting his chin with a certain dramatic flair.
"An heir to rule the Hells, to carry forth my legacy," he whispered with reverence, his eyes now alight with a wicked gleam.
He reached down, gently but firmly, and scooped the baby up into his arms.
"Look, little one!" he declared, turning towards the open window that faced a tear in reality—the distant, shimmering view of Avernus, the first layer of Hell. "All of this will one day be yours. The Hells will tremble beneath your feet, just as they have mine."
With surprising ease, Raphael lifted the newborn up, holding them toward the portal to Hell as if presenting his child to the infernal realm itself.
His pride was palpable, his voice thick with grandeur and excitement. "You will be the most feared and respected, a ruler, a—"
"Raphael!" you snapped, sitting up in bed, alarmed. "Stop lifting the baby like that!"
Your sharp voice broke through his grandiose moment. He immediately froze, his eyes wide with surprise. Then, as if suddenly realizing the absurdity of holding a newborn up in such a manner, he lowered the baby back down, cradling them properly against his chest. The fierce glow in his eyes softened, and for the first time, you saw the slightest flush of embarrassment creep across his sharp features.
"My apologies," he murmured, glancing at you sheepishly, though his smile was still laced with pride. "I—" He cleared his throat, chuckling softly. "I was simply… enthralled by the moment. They are just… perfect."
Raphael looked down at the tiny face of his child, his usually cocky and collected demeanor cracking, revealing the depth of his emotions. His thumb gently stroked the baby’s cheek, his gaze fixed on them as if nothing else in the world mattered. For all the pride and theatrics, there was no denying the raw tenderness in his eyes now.
"You’ve given me more than I ever thought possible," he said quietly, his voice losing its usual boastfulness. "This child—our child—has made me proud in ways I cannot even begin to describe."
He stepped closer to the bed, slowly lowering himself to sit beside you, still cradling the baby in his arms as though they were the most precious thing in existence. "And you, my love… You’ve given me everything. I shall never forget this."
You smiled, despite the earlier scare, your heart warmed by his devotion, his love. Even now, in this quiet moment, Raphael was both the devil you knew and something far more vulnerable—a father. His fingers, so accustomed to weaving magic and signing infernal pacts, were now tender, holding his newborn as if they were made of glass.
"You don’t need to show them Hell just yet," you teased, reaching up to brush a strand of hair from your face, still tired but comforted by Raphael’s presence.
Raphael chuckled, his sharp grin returning as he gently rocked the baby in his arms.
"Perhaps not," he conceded with a glint in his eye. "But one day, they will know it—just as they will know the heights of power they were born for. But for now… they shall only know peace. And love."
His voice softened as he gazed down at your child, his earlier bombastic nature ebbing away as he leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to the baby’s forehead. He held them close, marveling at the tiny life nestled in his arms.
"So small," he whispered, more to himself than to you. "And yet, they will shape the fate of realms."
For a long while, Raphael stayed like that, his eyes never leaving the baby, his body unusually still, completely captivated. You watched him, seeing the pride and love interwoven with his usual ambition. And in that moment, you realized that, for all his grand schemes and devilish desires, this was the most important thing in the world to him—your family, your child.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
The restraint I had to have to not put in the 'everything the light touches is our kingdom' line from lion king in Raphael's bit ahaha. Hope you guys enjoyed this ! - Seluney xox
If you want to support me in other ways | Help keep this moonmaiden caffeinated x
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate tav#astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion ancunin#spawn astarion x reader#spawn astarion#astarion x reader#astarion x tav#gale x reader#gale of waterdeep#bg3 gale#gale dekarios#gale x tav#gale dekarios x tav#gale dekarios x reader#halsin x reader#halsin the druid#halsin x tav#wyll x reader#rolan x reader#rolan x tav#raphael baldur's gate 3#bg3 raphael x tav#bg3 raphael x reader#bg3 rolan
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» 𝐢'𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮
⁘ amongst salt water skin and silken sheets lies insecurities and innocence, but also tenderness and a willingness to learn...
› pairing; bradley bradshaw x f!reader
prompt; ❝ well, honestly i’ve never really had sex before and was kinda hoping you would teach me. ❞ and ❝ don’t be nervous, i’ll guide you through it. ❞
word count; ~ 6.1K
× chapter warnings; loss of virginity, virginity as a normative concept, p in v sex, no use of y/n, smut, porn without plot, creampie, hair tugging, praise kink, innocence kink, corruption(?) if you squint maybe, rooster is a consent king
request; by @diorrfairy. I'm so sorry this took so long my love 🫶
disclaimer; I was rather torn with how I wanted this fic to go. on one hand I wanted it to be how I wished my first time was, yet I did not want to accidentally make it seem as if this is how a 'first time' is supposed to be, if that makes sense. I therefore tried to make it realistic in the way I experienced sex for the first time, but still making it softer, and sweeter, and the way I figure I'd want a first time with someone you love to be. for me sex hurt the first like five times but also my first bf was 6'5 and he was fucking huge so like yeehaw.
tagging people who might like; @roleycoleyland @roosterforme @lewmagoo @theharddeck @seresinsweetie @sebsxphia @rhettabbotts
Being with Bradley was easy. It was sunny, comfortable, and safe. The soft gaze of the aviator could turn your knees weak in a heartbeat. The way he touched you, the way he listened and understood you - and most of all, the way he never pushed you harder than needed to explore new things if you didn’t want to.
Previously, in all relationships you’d had - whether platonic or romantic, you found that people pushed you. Pushed you to participate in things you maybe weren’t entirely ready for, or didn’t wholly feel comfortable with. Like the first time you got drunk, even though you’d told your friends you’d rather just try one beer and then drink soda.
Bradley, however, understood the need for you to feel comfortable and safe. He understood that you needed time to contemplate, to reflect, and to sort of turn and twist an event in your mind a few times before throwing yourself headfirst into it.
So, when the two of you started getting serious, and you, with heat rising to your face, confessed that you ‘hadn’t done much’ in the sexual department, his amber gaze had softened. He’d smiled softly, cradled your cheek in one of his large palms, and placed a tender kiss upon your lips as he promised to take everything in the pace you deemed appropriate.
He wasn’t in a hurry, he’d said before enveloping you in his arms, letting you nuzzle your face into his chest and his safe embrace. Inhaling his scent and feeling his strong arms and hands holding you so delicately, you truly felt safe in his promise not to rush anything.
Bradley had not quite understood your timidness when telling him about not having too much experience. He figured maybe you’d fooled around a little in college with some boys or girls, but that you hadn’t had too many mind blowing sexual encounters. As beautiful and kind as you were, Rooster had a hard time imagining anything else. However, his mother had raised him to always respect a ladies wishes - however small or big that wish was, and he was nothing if not a caring soul himself. He always wanted you to feel safe with him, wanted you to feel you could confide in him, and lay worries and hardships for him to carry with you.
Which was why he was perfectly content to spend lazy afternoons making out with you straddled on his lap, only sneaking in a squeeze of your ass sporadically - keeping his hands placed gently on your waist, only ever letting them grace slowly upwards to your ribcage and to the wire of your bra. The small little noises you made drove him wild, but he wouldn’t be the person to push you. No, Bradley was more than willing to wait until you asked him to touch you.
However, as compassionate and patient a man as Bradley was - he was also a little insecure. He had never felt the way he did with you, and he was glad that you both seemed to be on the same page of slowly cherishing each other’s comfort. Felt secure in that this was something you both felt was something special.
Your relationship was not something that needed to be rushed, because both of you felt that this might be it. But one human can only take so many rejections before they start to wonder if it was something that they did wrong. Had he been pushy? Had he made you feel so uncomfortable that even after months of dating you didn’t want him? Or was it simply the fact that you didn’t find him attractive or arousing enough?
These thoughts swirled and tainted the most noble of intentions within Bradley. He so badly wanted you to feel the way he did about you, that it somewhat clouded his perception. Every sweet, bashful smile as you pulled away from him turned into a confirmation that there was something he was doing wrong.
Perhaps you were not a person who wanted what he wanted. He would be okay with that if that were the case, but as he pondered these possibilities in bed after a particularly nice day at the beach with you, he realized that the best way to go about it was to talk about it.
He smiled as he reminisced on your walk, feet bare in the sand. His heart did double-time as he remembered the way your eyes sparkled, and the way you’d pulled on his hand to draw him into the water with you. Covered in sand and salt water, the two of you had spent the majority of the day in each other's arms (when you were not indulged in very serious bouts of splashing wars) before retreating to Bradley’s home.
Which was how Bradley found himself perched on his bed after a nice shower to wash away the sand and salt, feeling content with the conclusion he had come to. The water was still running, as you were washing away the day as well, further fuelling Bradley’s thoughts. He was torn from them when you emerged, clad in a large, white, oversized silken button-up. It was rather old, and some of the buttons were missing. Your skin looked soft as it gleamed in the glow of the evening light. Looking at you, Bradley couldn’t help the soft smile that stretched across his lips as he raised his arms to signal he wanted you near.
Mimicking his smile, you happily straddled his lap, making yourself comfortable before holding up a small container that Rooster hadn’t noticed before.
“What’s that?” his voice was low, as if the energy of the room shouldn’t be disturbed by loud talking. Fingertips dipped into white cream, before gently ghosting across the skin of his face.
“It’s to soothe the skin, baby,” you explained softly, massaging the cool cream onto Bradley’s warm face. He hummed in reply, letting his hands grasp your hips, running his thumb up and down over the soft silken material. His eyes fluttered shut as you carefully made sure that every surface of his skin was carefully covered, even going down to cover his throat and neck.
“All done.” was whispered against his lips, punctured by the soft feel of your plush lips upon his. Your chest had fallen closer to his bare upper body, and the small container now found its resting place on his nightstand as your hands splayed on his pecs and shoulders.
You deepened the kiss, your tongue curiously exploring and wetting Bradley’s lips before meeting his own tongue slowly. Bradley couldn’t help the groan that escaped him as you pressed closer to him, your tongue so languidly moving with his own, couldn’t help gripping your hips just a little tighter at the small noises you were emitting whilst hesitantly rolling your hips against his grown hard-on.
“Sweets…” Bradley rasped, breaking the kiss. Normally, you would look down and look bashful, but this time your lips traveled across his jaw, fluttering over his pulse point as you hummed in acknowledgement. As you reached a particularly sensitive point and nipped softly, Bradley let out a low moan, his hands moving up your waist before they skimmed back down to let them rest on the globes of your ass. Kneading and grasping he groaned again, not noticing the way you had stopped kissing his neck.
Tensing ever so slightly, you sat up from your position, looking down as nerves fluttered restlessly in your stomach.
“Honey,” Bradley’s voice was soft “talk to me, please. Am I doing something wrong? Do I make you uncomfortable?” his fingers gently asked you to look him in the eye from their place at your chin. Blinking, a small crease formed between your brows.
“N-no, never! I’ve never felt as safe as I do when I’m with you.” the answer came to you easy, spilling truthfully from your lips as you looked into your boyfriend’s amber eyes.
“Why do you ask that?”
“I can feel how tense you are sometimes when we’re like this… you always pull away from me darlin’, and I just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page, okay? You can tell me anything. If I’ve done something, or if you just don’t feel like ever doing anything– or if I’m not, y’know, doing enough to turn you on–” he was rambling. He knew he was and yet he couldn’t stop; his worries and anxieties coming out in a way he didn’t want them to. He was almost thankful when you cut him off.
“Bradley, do you think I don’t want to have sex with you because you don’t turn me on enough?” if you weren’t feeling nervous butterflies in your stomach at the aspect of actually feeling ready for taking this step with Bradley, you would have laughed.
“I don’t know… Maybe? Mostly I’ve been worried that I have made you feel unsafe with me. Or that I’ve done something to make you feel as if you don’t want that part of our relationship like that,” it was Bradley’s turn to look bashful. Saying it out loud always made you realize how bizarre some of your thoughts could sound.
“Honey…” you smiled, leaning into your boyfriend again “I– I just… you know I told you how I haven’t done much?” Bradley nodded.
“Of course. I am in no way trying to rush you - I totally understand you may have had other experiences with sex before that makes this uncomfortable and–”
“No, Bradley.” you groaned “you don’t understand–” sighing, you paused for a moment. Maybe it would be better to spell it out. “well… honestly, I’ve never really had sex before–”
Silence hung between two lovers, Bradley’s brows raising slightly in surprise, a feeling of deep guilt settling uncomfortably in his chest.
“Honey… I am so sorry. I never meant– I mean, I figured you must have, you’re so out of this world beautiful…” Bradley looked at you, his eyes soft and filled with love. “I’m sorry, my darling, I just wanted to know if there was something I had done - I will wait for as long as you need,” he straightened up to place his lips upon yours in a soft kiss.
Shaking your head, you broke the kiss, smiling softly at him.
“And– I was kinda hoping you would teach me,” you finished your interrupted sentence, letting your fingers sneak into the hair at the nape of Bradley’s neck, tugging and twirling strands of hair there to ease your nerves. Again, Bradley looked at you with such adoration and love that it nearly took your breath away. His hands were back to soothingly rubbing your sides and hips, the way he held you making you feel precious and secure.
“Darling…” his voice was low but riddled with unspoken emotions, one of his hands moving to cradle your cheek “we don’t have to do anything you don’t want okay. I’m not going anywhere.” his assurance meant the world to you, but you’d felt ready for some time now.
Mulling it over as you first noticed that when the two of you had ended up entangled in bed, or on the sofa, it didn’t make you feel as panicked as it had in the beginning. It felt exhilarating now. It felt like something you wanted. Something you desperately needed with Bradley.
“I really want to.” your voice was firm in its choice, and Bradley sat up more from his position reclined against the headrest to be able to place his lips all over your throat.
“I really want you…” Bradley murmured against your skin as his lips skimmed over the parts he knew had you the most breathless. It drew the tiniest of gasps, followed by a high pitched whimper from you the way he spoke so huskily, so close to your ear, his warm breath momentarily dizzying you.
“Bradley…” you mewled softly “Please!” Bradley’s head was spinning from the sheer thought of loving you like this, but hearing your sweet plea made his breath hitch in his throat, his hard-on jolting slightly in his boxers at the words. Perhaps he should feel some type of embarrassment over that reaction, but he couldn’t find it in him to do so. Not when you were perched on his lap, clad in a loose fitting silken shirt, looking like the divines themselves.
“You say stop and we do, okay?” Bradley searched your eyes, and you nodded, tucking your bottom lip between teeth as anticipation swirled through you. “Gotta hear you say it, honey,” Rooster smirked, reaching up to gently let his thumb draw out your bottom lip from between your teeth. That single act had your breath hitching as he let his thumb trace your lip.
“I say stop and we stop.” you confirmed and Bradley smiled up at you
“Good girl.”
Blinking slowly, you took in the two soft spoken words that had drawn out the most sinful sound from your lips. “Oh, God,” you whispered softly, face heating up in embarrassment. Bradley gently shushed you, before letting his hand inch up your ribcage, his thumbs gracing the underside of your breasts.
“It’s okay, little dove. It’s normal to react this way, alright? Nothing to be embarrassed about.” his voice was so soft, so soothing, that it made you keen even more, needing him closer to you.
“You have no idea how much it turns me on to see you react to me like this…” Bradley wanted you to know that there was nothing shameful in the way you were reacting, and he desperately needed you to understand he never wanted you to suppress any sounds or feelings that might arise between the two of you. He wanted to see it all, hear it all, experience you and your love in its purest form.
His hands wandered ever so slightly further up, gently letting his palm encompass the swell of your breasts in his hands, eyes flitting up to yours to see your reaction to the advancement. Letting out a stuttered breath, you let your head tip back at the sensation of his hands warming the silk against your skin.
As Rooster gently kneaded and pressed against your flesh, another breathy moan spilled from your parted lips. As he let his fingers gently pinch at your pebbled nipple, you cried out, suddenly feeling the need to move. You rocked hesitantly in Bradley’s lap, and another relieved whine left your lips as his hard-on rubbed against your damp underwear.
“Fuck, honey… you’re so beautiful,” Bradley grunted out, trying to hold himself back and not grip your hips and grind you harder down on to him. He truly did believe you had never looked as beautiful as you were now, breath labored, skin glowing in the light that managed to flitter into the room, gently rocking against his lap. He whispered praises against your sternum as his hands slowly kneaded your sensitive flesh, his hot breath fanning over the exposed skin as the shoulder of your night shirt slid down your arm to reveal your breasts.
Bradley took his time kissing and loving your chest, his large hands working up and down your sides, squeezing at your breasts before letting his tongue flutter over hardened nipples, teasing you as you let out soft, high pitched noises. Your brows were furrowed together, eyelids fluttered closed as you moved your hips down on him, panting slightly from the pleasure of his hard cock brushing your clothed clit every so often.
“So pretty…” Bradley murmured before he sucked one nipple into his mouth, groaning at the feel of his lips wrapped around your flesh, relishing in the cry it drew from you, reeling at your body reacting by collapsing closer to him, a hand flying to grasp and tug at his hair. You were pulling him closer, and your movement was starting to become a little frazzled as you were overcome by the pleasure Bradley was giving you.
“Brad–” you were gasping, almost clawing at the back of his head, not sure if you wanted to push him closer to your chest or tug him away. Squirming in your boyfriends’ lap you cried out again, whimpering softly over and over again as you felt his lips release the nipple he had been sucking on, moving to give the other some much needed attention. The cool air against your saliva slick skin had you mewling again. It was all so much, too much, it felt too good, it was dizzying and overwhelming, and Bradley’s hands were touching parts of you you didn’t know were sensitive and–
“Stop!” it was gasped, breathlessly as your eyes shot open, chest heaving before looking down at your boyfriends worried face.
“Too much?” Bradley cooed, reaching up to let his fingertips grace your cheek. Nodding shyly, you leaned into his touch, face heating at the notion that you needed a break.
“It– it was too good, I-I couldn’t…” you trailed off, not entirely sure why you had asked him to stop. There had been a pressure building and sparking in you, and it frightened you. The pleasure you felt when the two of you made out, when he touched you, it was tame in comparison. No one else had ever made that… pressure happen before.
Bradley shushed you softly, licking his lips and smiling softly up at you “S’okay, darling��� we’re not in a rush, are we? And if you decide that’s enough for tonight, then that’s alright too.” he assured you, thumbs rubbing against your waist. He couldn’t help that his eyes flickered momentarily to the glistening skin around your breasts, an unfamiliar feeling swirling deep in the pit of his chest at the sight of his saliva marking your skin. It almost made him groan with pleasure, seeing himself on you in any capacity.
“No, I… I really want you. I truly feel ready, because I’ve been thinking of loving you like this for so long now…” you trailed off, again looking down at where your body sat on top of his, stomach flipping a little as you took in the sun kissed skin of his abs… and that dusting of hair that disappeared beneath his boxers. “I just feel a little nervous” you admitted in a whisper, not being able to help the fluttering nerves within your stomach.
“Don’t be nervous… I’ll guide you through it, sweet girl,” Bradley murmured, nudging his nose against yours before letting his lips slowly move with yours, taking his time to let his tongue taste yours, until your arms were once again wrapped around his neck.
“That’s it… good girl, keep going,” Bradley whispered against your lips as you again hesitantly rolled your hips against him. Soft mewls left you at his words, and Bradley couldn’t help but smiling into the kiss, filing away every reaction to his actions for later.
“Does that feel good?” he hummed as he gently gripped your hips, helping you find the right angle to let his cock catch at your entrance before sliding up to your clit. The silk of your panties was dark with your slick, and Bradley could soon feel it covering his own underwear too.
“Yes,” you breathed out, letting your forehead press against his “it– feels funny,” you whined, squeezing your eyes shut as that pressure started to come back, even stronger now. Bradley hummed low in his throat, one hand making its way between your bodies to put more pressure where you needed it.
“Bradley!” you gasped, body jolting slightly as his leaking cock head pressed harder against your sensitive clit. “It’s okay, baby… you’re alright, I’ve got you,” Bradley whispered as he kissed right below your ear, not stopping the slow but steady rocking of your hips.
“I feel like I’m gonna– gonna–” your trembling voice was interrupted by your small gasps and soft moans, again taking your plush bottom lip between your teeth as the sensation grew stronger.
“You’re doing so good, honey– don’t stop; just let go for me, baby,” it was as if you needed Bradley’s soft guidance and assurance, because as soon as he told you to, you could feel that pressure spiking, before it snapped and shot through your entire body. The pleasure coursed through your veins as you came with a loud cry, followed by small whimpers of Bradley’s name, burrowing your face in his neck as you whined softly and rolled your hips a couple of more times.
“There you go… such a good girl… are you alright, doll?” he’s murmuring softly and sweetly against your neck, your pulse thudding hard and fast against his warm lips. Lips that have curved slightly upwards as you cling onto him, fingers gripping at his slightly flexed biceps. You nod against his shoulder, placing a languid chaste kiss to his exposed skin.
“I’m– I don’t think that’s ever happened to me before” heat again spread across your face, and Bradley couldn’t help the way his chest filled with pride, and an unfamiliar emotion that stirred somewhere close to his abdomen. “Did so good, honey. Looked real beautiful for me,” Bradley smiled, gently holding your hair back from your face before pecking your lips. His hands roamed down your body, until his fingers played with the hem of your underwear. Snapping the elastic slightly, making you gasp, he chuckled softly.
“Can I take these off?” nodding, you felt anticipation roll inside you in stormy waves as the two of you moved your bodies so Bradley could take your underwear off. Bradley’s hands kneaded softly at your thighs as you settled back on his lap, his amber eyes searching your worried face. Licking your lips, you took in Bradley’s completely naked form. Sure, you’d seen naked men before, but nothing compared to the golden tan of Bradley’s skin - the ripple of his abs, the dusting of hair that traveled from below his navel to his pubic bone and– oh god.
You of all people was aware of Bradley’s size. He was tall, muscular, slightly burly, and his strong embrace always made you feel safe - whether he was lifting you and dropping you into the ocean earlier today, or if he made a point of helping you reach something high up (even if you didn’t always need the help) - but you hadn’t really used your imagination to be able to conjure this. Resting, hard as a rock, against his stomach, you wondered silently how on earth he would fit in you.
“Honey,” Bradley tried to keep from chuckling, smirking, or sounding too smug when he spoke “it’s alright. We’ll go as slow as needed, love. I’ve got you.” and you trusted your boyfriend, you truly did, but still - how?
As a distraction, Bradley’s ever working hands had snuck upwards, the pads of his fingers now caressing your sensitive clit, drawing a soft mewl from your parted lips. “That’s it, relax,” he murmured in encouragement as his fingers gently rubbed at your core, letting his middle finger slip further and further into your heat.
“Oh!” pitching forward, you rested your forehead against your boyfriend’s broad shoulder, moaning involuntarily at the feeling of Bradley pumping his finger in and out slowly, stretching and preparing you. It felt good, that one finger didn’t yet feel uncomfortable. It was when he added a second one that you whined a little and squirmed against him. His voice soothed you, and as he found a spot within you that had you gasping every time his fingers graced it, you found your hips slowly starting to rock against his rhythm to seek out more of the feeling.
“Bradley…” his name tumbled from your lips in a needy gasp as his lips attached themselves to the delicate skin of your neck. You could feel his hot, wet tongue glide over the skin, his teeth nipping slightly before letting his lips close over the area to gently mark your neck.
“Yes, sweetheart?” his reply was murmured against your skin, his mustache scratching lightly above your pulse point. “Think I want–” you paused “think I want you now…” it was strange how the words rolled off your tongue, embarrassment filling you up slightly at the admission, even with Bradley’s fingers knuckle deep in your pussy. The soft groan that reverberated from your boyfriend's chest made you squeak slightly in surprise, your walls clenching around his fingers as the sound spurred on your arousal.
“Alright,” Bradley withdrew from the crook of your neck, where he’d had his face nuzzled, to look you in the eyes, giving you a soft smile as his fingers too withdrew from within you.
“Do you have any condoms, sweets?” he murmured, tilting his head upwards slightly to place a chaste kiss to your warm cheek. Shaking your head no, you placed a soft kiss to his warm lips, admitting to him that you had been on birth control for some years now. You momentarily worried he might ask why you’d bother with contraceptives if you were a virgin. You’d rather not go into detail about how it can regulate your cycle. He just smiled, eagerly chasing your lips for another kiss as his hands stroked up and down your waist - where your silken shirt had created a halo around your midsection.
“Tell me again what we’d do if you said a certain word?” Bradley looked into your eyes, his brown ones calm and filled with a serenity you could easily get lost in, as his large hand gently held your chin. Licking your lips, you managed a small smile down at your lover as you sat straddled across his lap, his hard cock leaking precum all over that faint line of hair that drove you absolutely insane with want.
“I say stop and we stop.”
“Good girl,” at your slight shiver at the deep timbre of his voice, your boyfriend couldn’t keep his smirk at bay, loving how well you responded to his praise.
Large hands gripped your hips as you rose slightly to your knees, your own hands which had been alternating between gripping Roosters biceps, clinging onto his shoulders, or being wrapped around his neck, now fluttered hesitantly down his chest, over his abdominals and down to that tantalizing little trail… The sound Bradley let out sounded relieved yet also a little strained as you hesitantly let your fingertips grace the underside of his hard cock, following along the prominent vein that ran along it.
“Should I—” you licked your lips, gaze flickering up momentarily to his “should I touch you, before we..?” Bradley smiled softly and shook his head no “I am embarrassingly close to coming just from seeing you like this honey… it’s alright,” a soft smile spread on your lips as you still let your fingers curiously feel around your boyfriends hard shaft, feeling the ridges and veins, surprised at the silky feel of the warm skin. Humming softly you settled on letting your hands rest upon his shoulders again as he again gripped your hips to guide you into a position he deemed appropriate.
Bradley’s head was spinning as he positioned his cock against your entrance, gently dragging his swollen head between your slick folds, having to take shallow breaths as he heard your whimpers and mewls. He repeated this motion over and over, ghosting over your hole, alternating between stimulating your clit and the sensitive skin around your heat. Soon enough you were rutting against the underside of his cock, making him slicked with your arousal.
“Fuck, you feel so good!” Bradley groaned as you buried your face in the crook of his neck, desperately trying to get more of him. “Bradley! Please, please,” you whined, biting down slightly on his skin, drawing a deep moan from his parted lips. He let the very tip of his cock slowly enter you before he withdrew again, sliding his cock up towards your clit again. You had gasped and moaned at the short sensation, and Bradley could tell you thought you could take all of him with the way you were bucking your hips, trying to sink down on him.
“Slow down, baby… I’ll get you there, okay? Can’t take all of me yet…” he murmured against your temple, letting his lips linger there for a moment before he again lowered you slightly onto his weeping cock, the very tip breaching your core.
You were panting now, as Bradley stilled your hips on him, this time not withdrawing as he let himself dip slightly deeper into you. Eyes widening, you whined at the sharp sting of his girth stretching you.
“Shh, honey, you’re alright, I’ve got you,” his calm voice grounded you and you nodded against his shoulder. Bradley had done his best to prepare you, and you were thoroughly wet for him - but still, as he gently lowered you deeper onto him, tears sprang from your eyes at the sharp sting of being stretched by him.
“I’m sorry, love.” Bradley furrowed his brows as he gently guided you to look at him, wiping at the tears that had leaked from your lashes. “Do you want to stop?” he murmured, large palm soothingly stroking up and down your spine.
Even though the sharp sting wasn’t exactly comfortable, the feeling of his warmth, and the feeling of being so full still made your insides vibrate with feelings of love and arousal - a feeling that felt rather paradoxical in relation to the sharp stings you felt whenever you moved. Ultimately you spoke a tiny no, leaning into Bradley, seeking his solace and his safe embrace. Whenever you felt vulnerable, or were hurting, you sought out his safety.
“Being so brave, little dove… being my good girl,” Bradley cooed, letting his strong arm wrap around you, his other slowly moving downwards, gently letting the pad of his finger rest against your clit as he lowered you a few more inches, until finally you sat flush against him. Biting your lip, your fingertips dug into the skin of Roosters biceps hard as he shushed you and praised you even more, making your stomach flip and your heart stutter in your chest. You had no idea mere words could ignite such a fire within you.
Speaking softly to you, whispering praise and words of love into your ear, Bradley slowly let his fingertips grace over your back, down your arms, over your thighs, your breasts.. as his thumb gently swiped over your nipple, you let out a needy moan. Gently pinching, he drew out another whimper from you, and your breathing seemed to pick up again as he rolled it between his fingers, his palm massaging and kneading your flesh.
“S’that feel good, honey?” he smiled as you looked him in the eyes, biting your lip and nodding as you experimentally rolled your hips - scrunching your face up, you whined softly at the feeling of discomfort, which was soothed by Bradley’s quick, distracting hands.
Letting your lips crash against his, Bradley groaned as he used both hands to knead and pinch at your tits and nipples as you rocked slowly on his cock. Gasping and whimpering, you tried lifting your hips and sinking down again, finding that if you did it ever so slightly, it didn’t sting as much and it actually felt good when the tip of his cock hit that little spot inside you.
“Bradley!” you whimpered against his lips, his name slightly muffled. After the initial pain, you were reeling from the realization that your boyfriend’s cock was buried in your pussy, and he was letting you ride him slowly. Moaning, you leaned slightly back, taking in the sight before you. In your frenzy, you had messed up his hair, and his eyes were glossy with lust, lips slightly swollen. The setting sun was making his tan skin glow, and the freckles that had formed on his shoulders made him look all the more incredible to you.
“Fuck, god, you’re so fuckin’ tight… feel fucking incredible, Jesus, baby… I love you,” Bradley’s eyes were rolling upwards as you rode him a little faster, his cock pulsing with every slight movement you made.
“I love you,” you whispered, the words ghosting over his skin. Bradley let his hands wander from your tits down to the globes of your ass, squeezing and kneading your asscheeks as you moved up and down on his cock.
“Can I take over a little, baby?” he murmured into your ear, licking your lips, you nodded quickly, feeling Bradley’s grip on your ass tighten as he lifted and grinded you down against him. A gasp was quickly followed by a loud moan as he angled your hips ever so slightly, making your clit catch on his pubic bone. He sped up slightly, guiding your hips so they rolled and bounced slightly in time with his small thrusts, the head of his cock brushing that spot again and again, making you whimper and keen over and over.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Bradley grunted and groaned as he fucked you onto his leaking cock. He was so fucking close, you were gripping and clenching so hard around him, and he was sure he was going to blow his load soon. “Baby you feel so fucking good.. god, this tight little pussy was fuckin’ made for my cock, wasn’t it? Was made to be fucked by me,” Bradley grunted as he babbled, that feeling he felt earlier exploding in his chest at your needy mewls.
Growling, he took your loud moans as his go ahead to go just a little faster, fuck you just a little deeper. His one forearm wrapped around the curve of your ass as the other snuck up between your shoulder-blades, where he gripped the hair at the nape of your neck. A loud cry spilled from your lips as your eyes fluttered close, your body instantly relaxing and going almost limp in his hold as you moaned repeatedly. Growling, Bradley bucked his hips to fuck into you instead of lowering you down on him, and your needy cries made him almost black out with pleasure.
Soon, he heard you gasping, moaning and crying his name over and over in pleasure. “That’s it honey, tell me who’s making you feel good.. who’s fucking this tight little pussy of yours so good,” his words made your eyes roll back into your head, and with a cry of his name you came for the second time, your slick creating a creamy ring around the base of his cock as he fucked you through the first orgasm you’d ever experienced with someone inside you.
Whimpering and mewling, the waves of pleasure didn’t stop coming, it just kept going as Bradley’s cock pumped fast and deep into your wet cunt. Your bedroom was filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin, a wet sound that you found rather arousing, and your labored breaths and moans.
“Babe, god I’m so close,” Bradley moaned, holding you tighter to his chest as he gasped, his cock and balls pulsing with the need to release. “Should I pull out?” he wasn’t all together sure he could. “No!” you whined, fingers tangling themselves in his hair. You’d never felt like this before. Your chest was swirling with the need to keep him close, keep him inside of you, you never wanted him to leave.
“Need you, Brad, need you!” you could barely form a full sentence, your words sounding more like whimpery babbles. At your pleas, Bradley grunted and groaned before he swore loudly, his hips bucking before his cock twitched and his release spurted deep within you.
Feeling his warm seed spilling in you, your eyes rolled back slightly again as you moaned. Bradley’s whole body was shuddering as he ground you down against him, his balls tightening again and again as he released ropes upon ropes of his cum deep in your pussy.
Sweaty bodies tangled together as you slumped forward against his heaving chest, your own breath labored and unsteady. Nuzzling into his pecs, you could hear and feel the way his heart beat hard inside his chest. “Love you,” you murmured, kissing at his sternum. Rooster’s large hand caressed the back of your head as you both came down from your highs.
“Might hurt a little when I pull out…” he murmured against the top of your head, and you let out a dissatisfied whine whilst pouting.
“Are you okay, honey?” he continued, and you smiled and nodded, feeling perfectly content as you laid in the safe arms of your lover, having just given him all of your love, and receiving all of him and his love back.
AHHHHH fuck this one took forever to finish, and i'm not entirely happy with the ending - but i hope someone might enjoy it still<3 please let me know what you think! i'm always open for constructive crit <3
special thanks to coley and em for helping me through my writers block and cheering me on<3
#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw x you#bradley rooster bradshaw x you#rooster x reader#rooster x you#bradley bradshaw fic#bradley bradshaw imagine#bradley bradshaw smut#my writing#smut
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