#this is the time when i'm not sure what category my ramblings fall under

[playertwotails]

Per the poll I put out I'm gonna ramble about how Tails displays his genius vs how Eggman does.

It's long so under the cut it goes

We'll start with Eggman. Now Eggman clearly has a complex. He's talked about being compared to Maria his whole life which has made him want a lot of attention. Which a valid feeling but then Eggman being Eggman takes it to the ^nth degree.

See he has to make sure EVERYONE knows how smart he is. He plasters his face over everything he makes, names everything after himself to some degree, and is loud bragging all the time about his latest greatest creation and everyone being inferior to him and his genius.

He's gonna make sure that people recognize him and what he's done no matter what.

With this mindset, all of his creations are only for the benefit of he, himself and no one else. Every invention he creates falls under 3 categories.

Expanding the Eggman Empire

Kill Sonic

Or both

Even when he has "allies" he very rarely gives them any of his inventions unless they directly benefit himself (hello start of the Zombot arc). His selfishness and self importance has him only making things that fuel his own desires and wants.

On the flip side of this though we have Tails.

Now Tails also has houses that look like him and has his own logo (and I'll get into that a little later). But in contrast to Eggman Tails doesn't brag much about his creations. He'll be proud of them and talk about them but never in a condescending manner.

(Side note: off the top of my head I think the only times we may have seen a slightly more condescending tone is a few times when he's talking to Sonic but it always came off as more of a "little sibling being a little shit" kinda tone)

Tails showing his friends his inventions is never in a "Look how much better than you I am cause I made this" kinda way. It's always felt more like a kid showing people their macaroni art cause they're proud they were able to make it. (which he is 8 so def fits lol)

And half the time his inventions are for the benefit of not only himself but all their friends, allies and just other people in general. He makes things to share and help improve what people already have to make their lives easier/safer. I mean look what he did to Sonic's plane. and their communication devices.

Now onto my next point: Quality over Quantity

So switching back to Eggman, he gets so focused on making these massive armies and sprawling cities/bases with his face plastered and designed into everywhere he's not gonna be able to do that by himself. So most of his creations are made in production lines not by his own hands.

Most of the time when we see Eggman he's not making something he's at a control panel directing things to be made. He's very hands off with the majority of his own creations with the exception of his more one of a kind creations like Metal Sonic.

Meanwhile we see Tails is always fiddling with things, taking them apart, and improving them, sometimes it's Eggman's own creations Tails messes with. Tails is typically shown to be very hands on. And yeah his house and inventions have his logo or face on them but their all one of a kind, hand crafted creations not massive bases that go on for miles (lol). So it feels more like a signature than an announcement like Eggman's does.

Now bringing this all together it comes down to the one person Tails is boastful to and constantly saying their not as smart as him --- Eggman.

Now, Eggman on multiple occasions has recognized how smart Tails is but we rarely if ever (off the top of my head) see Tails saying the same about Eggman.

Most of the time Tails is roasting him about shoddy craftsmanship and how Eggman's plans are dumb. One thing I've noticed too is we always see Tails hacking and messing with Eggmans tech but we've never really seen the reverse as far as I can recall.

Heck we've seen multiple time Tails taking apart Eggman's machines and talking about how weird and unorganized all his bots insides. We've seen Tails casually hack into Eggman's networks in the middle of fights.

Which brings us back to the quality over quantity thing. Because Eggman's armies and bases are mass produced mostly at this point so the craftsmanship quality goes down. Eggman is a genius for sure but even if his designs are great since he's not behind every robot creating them, his own genius suffers. He's too busy trying to make it big and loud that what's actually produced it of a lesser quality.

And then we have Tails who is one on one with all his creations and that makes them harder for Eggman to destroy cause Tails can personally check everything is up to snuff for all his inventions. (meanwhile too Tails rips Eggman's robots apart for extra screws probably)

I just think that it's very funny that while Eggman goes to great lengths to show the whole world he's smarter than everyone else, Tails just needs Eggman to know he's smarter then him.

[cult-bull]

Medical Resource Observations and the Bishops

I'm sure other people have talked and thought about this more in depth, but I quite like intertwined the bishops and their realms really are, at least when it comes to Leshy, Heket and Kallamar.

Take resources, for example. Of course, there is just the game mechanic reason of not wanting to have you too easily fix everything, but the way mushrooms, camellia and crystal shards work together is interesting. All three are important in healing various conditions.

The main healing bay is mostly used with just camellias found in leshy's realm, connecting the chaos bishop with how to cure physical injuries and sicknesses, which might make sense seeing how easily someone can get hurt in chaotic environments. You'd think this might fall as a better opposite into Kallamar's role for sickness and his followers praying to him for health. But camellias are for the expected, usually food sickness, bad drug trip hangovers, and wounds after fights.

Crystal Shards, however, are used to combat mental conditions/mental trauma, which is interesting. When a follower is in a catatonic state, they need the crystals to be taken back to a normal state. It is a type of curing I suppose, though not quite what one might imagine.

Mushrooms are mostly drugs, something I'd put into a chaos category, yet it's in Hekets with famine. Maybe an overindulgence in general bad consumption thing. They stimulate the brain and seem to just cause a lot of positives, if not weird, experiences as seen in something like the pilgrim comic book with someone like jalala. They have found another medicinal use though through the cursed status.

A combination of them is used to cure the cursed status, which is fascinating. You require a combination of something which cures physical wounds, something which stimulates the brain in a positive direction, and something dealing with horrible mental afflictions. It's a nice way of how it flows into one another and makes me at least think about how it reflects on the bishops.

It makes sense to think the three bishops would work together while narinder rots in the realm of white nothingness and Shamura deals with their broken mind. After all, the crowns helped heal them to some extent, for example, letting Heket speak despite her throat, yet Shamura still spoke in strange rhymes and had a harder time dealing with their injury to their brain than the others. Makes sense, of course, I imagine a throat is easier to fix than a brain.

With Leshy, Heket and Kallamar having a medicinal use under them though, maybe they would try to also treat Shamura if needed or possible. In a way, it would make sense. Camellias for the physical head wound, the crystal shards to deal with the trauma of the blow, mushrooms to stimulate the brain into a positive direction.

Doesn't mean it worked, but it paints a picture of what could have gone on.

Maybe, idk, I could be rambling into nothingness about nothing XD But I wanted to write my thought process out <3

[infinitystation]

it's been a LONG time since i've made any sort of personal post but i wanna ramble a bit! i've never felt more relief than finally deciding to use the term aro for myself after fighting with it on and off for at least 5 years. i'm not sure WHY it's so relieving but it is!

(under the cut bc it's long, i genuinely havent spoken here in like. years. even stopped talking on my sideblog bc i feel a bit safer on a private twitter for personal posts...)

the way i found out was a little hilarious but i am Not going into all that here that's for my private twitter, long story short someone made a post along the lines of "romance is something you FEEL not something you DO" and i was like. wait what the hell you guys Feel a crush you don't just Make one?? OH THAT'S MAKES WAY MORE FUCKING SENSE- *(&$@#)*&%^* quickly realized i had spent my whole life trying to Make crushes oops. there's more to it but that's the extremely simplified version

i had a big relief when realizing my sexuality and gender too but this one was a lot different for some reason. maybe because i'm older now? i'm not really sure. could have also been because i've been fighting with it for so long. i did the same with gender stuff too but it never felt like this big revelation, it was a lot slower and easier to come to terms with. this one made me reevaluate my entire life and go "ohhhhh that's what i was doing wrong all those years" lmao

i dont think i've ever loved myself so much since realizing this. fuck the loveless aro thing (shoutout to you guys tho, just couldnt be me), i am SO full of love. now i realize what was wrong the whole time! trying to put people above other people and put them in the Special Love category was fucking me up, love doesnt need to fall into special categories with certain terms and conditions, it can just be whatever i want it to be and as strong as it wants to be without it ever leaving the "platonic" stage and i love that. realizing that my friends are the closest people in my life and that doesn't have to change has been so nice. no more "you'll find someone Even More Special" these are just my favorite people! i love them! we dont have to get into a relationship to make it The Specialest Relationship, what we have is enough

i am also having way more fun headcanoning characters tbh, that's a silly point but it's a fun one. i never fully understood the "giving your faves your identity" thing bc i just did whatever i saw fit regardless of whether it was MY identity or not, but making random characters aro is awesome. not all of them, i'm a big fan of fictional relationships (relationships are super fun from a distance i love smacking my guys together like barbie dolls). but taking my old inkling oc and making him aro? that has made me so fucking happy. rip to his boyfriend FKJHG

[lu-is-not-ok]

Thanks for the analysis post! It's neat to see your interpretations, and is definitely helping me sort out my own(I was struggling with wording mine). I'd like to share my take/understanding on passives/supports, because I think characters who use different resources depending on whether it's passive or support are really, really interesting. (Plus I am still staring directly at Outis' LCB and G Corp needing Sloth. I want to know what is going on with that old woman)

I think passive/support sins mesh with the actual passive/support's mechanics themself and are meant as an explanation for why this occurs. Character analysis wise, I think it could be used to specify and solidify motivations for certain actions the character takes.

The best example I can use for this is Gregor, since 3/5 of his IDs heal HP. To abridge all of my understanding of the specific sins each ID needs for their passive/support: LCB Gregor's s1 Gloom has to do with, as you mentioned, his experiences of being a war vet, G Corp's s1 Gluttony has to do with his endless will to survive and continue fighting, and RB Gregor's s1 Lust is all about how impulsive this Gregor can come off as when it comes to food.

So like, all three of them have the same passive, with LCB Gregor's costing 3 for both passive and support, while G Corp's and RB's cost 4 for passive, G Corp costing 4 for support and RB 5.

So like. Why does Gregor heal in the first place? I think it's cannibalism for all three of them, with G Corp being much more aggressive about it when he's afraid of dying, and as such healing after clashes, not at combat start.

However, all three of them have a different reason for doing so- LCB's passive is quite literally labeled 'Forced Survival,' after all, and I think it's rather self-explanatory for his Gloom. G Corp's is gluttony because it's specifically the 'survival' gluttony- G Corp Gregor has resigned himself to the war, but he still wants to live. And finally, RB Gregor is lust because of his impulsivity and his want to make good food, to try the ingredients.

I think passive/support activation costs have a similar meaning to EGO cost as well? Because I'm sure RB Gregor really doesn't want to support Ryoushuu, but if he's convinced by his lust enough, he will. As much as LCB Gregor might hate it, he doesn't tend to resist things that happen to him and could fall to gloom and habits from his days as a soldier easily.

I also wanted to touch on characters who passives/supports did different things, but are fueled by the same sin- for instance, TingTang Hong Lu's Gluttony. Either way, he gets something out of it to satisfy his want for something interesting, though how he goes about doing it is different depending on if it's for himself or for someone else. But yeah. Sorry for the ramble in your ask box, just wanted to share a fun thought I've had.

(I've been also trying to figure out the EGO weaknesses for a while and I remember seeing an interpretation of them, but I can't remember what it was atm- something to do with being literally weak to that type of emotion, I believe?)

I think that you might legit be onto something here! No, yeah, all that you're saying here makes sense! The one thing I would argue is what LCB Gregor's healing passive represents - I think it has more to do with his bug arm constantly regenerating even against his will, which I think still makes it fit under the Gloom category, considering how his arm's behavior can be interpreted as an allegory of his PTSD.

But no, yeah, this all makes sense to me. Thanks a lot for sharing, my brain was running on fumes by the time I got to actually explaining how Sins work with Identities and E.G.O, so I didn't have the energy to actually take a moment and think about how all of that could apply properly.

When it comes to E.G.O Sin Resistances, I think the main point I want to figure out is whether they represent a Sinner's outward resistances or inward resistances, if that makes sense? Like, does it represent how they react to other people's actions fueled by those Sins, or does it represent how they react to the internal influence of those Sins?

So, if you don't mind me hijacking your own ask to talk about Sin Resistance quirks, I'm gonna just. Talk about them and see if we can figure some of these out together. Under cut cause... it got long.

EDIT: APPARENTLY THE SOURCE I WAS USING FOR REFERENCE ON SOME OF THIS WAS JUST STRAIGHT UP FUCKING WRONG SOMETIMES???? Anyway I'm fixing some of the accidental misinfo.

For one - the amount of Fatal/Endure/Ineffective resistances depends on the threat level of the E.G.O.

All E.G.O thus far have two Fatal resistances. All Zayin E.G.O have one Endured resistance. All Teth E.G.O have one Ineffective resistance (except for Red Eyes Ryoshu, which follows the pattern of Zayin E.G.O). All He E.G.O have both one Endured resistance and one Ineffective resistance.

Here are some other patterns I've noticed.

All Zayin E.G.O Endure Sin damage of the same type as that E.G.O's Sin affinity.

Most Teth E.G.O work the same way, just with having the resistance to their own Sin affinity be set as Ineffective instead. However, there are actually some exceptions here!

Those notable exceptions are: - Red Eyes Ryoshu (who Endures it like a Zayin) - Sunshower Outis (Sloth is Ineffective against her, while Gluttony is Normal), - You Want To Get Beat? Hurtily? Meursault (Pride is Ineffective against him, while Envy is Normal) - AEDD Heathcliff (Wrath is Ineffective against him, while Gloom is Fatal)

Most He E.G.O follow the pattern of Teth E.G.O, having the resistance to their own Sin affinity be Ineffective. Just like Teth E.G.O however, there are some exceptions.

Those are: - Sunshower Yi Sang (Gluttony is Ineffective against him, while Sloth is Endured) - AEDD Gregor (Wrath is Ineffective against him, while Gloom is Fatal)

Another pattern is that E.G.Os of the same Abnormality of the same threat level always have the exact same Sin resistances.

When it comes to E.G.Os of the same Abnormality but different threat level, usually there is still some overlap in resistances.

Specifically: - Sunshower share their Fatal resistances (Wrath and Lust), while different in their Ineffective resistances (Sloth for Outis, Gluttony for Yi Sang). Notably, Sunshower Yi Sang Endures Sloth, the Sin that's Ineffective against Sunshower Outis. - Fourth Match Flame, Capote and AEDD all share both Fatal and Ineffective resistances between their Teth and He counterparts. - Ryoshu's two Red Eyes E.G.O have only one overlap, that being Fatal to Pride.

Notable overlaps between the Sinners' Base E.G.Os and their other E.G.Os: - Yi Sang's Base E.G.O Endures Sloth (Sunshower, partially Wishing Cairn which has Sloth as Ineffective) and is Fatal to Gloom (Wishing Cairn, Fourth Match Flame) and Envy (Dimension Shredder). - Faust's Base E.G.O Endures Pride (Telepole) and is Fatal to Lust (Hex Nail) and Gluttony (Telepole). Notably Fluid Sac has no overlap, instead having some resistances as opposite to it (Fatal to Pride, Endures Lust). - Don's Base E.G.O Endures Lust (Fluid Sac, partially Lifetime Stew which has Lust as Ineffective) and is Fatal to Wrath (no current overlap) and Gloom (Lifetime Stew). Notably Fluid Sac has an opposite resistance to it (Gloom Ineffective), while Telepole has no overlap. - Ryoshu's Base E.G.O Endures Lust (Red Eyes) and is Fatal to Gluttony (Red Eyes) and Envy (no overlap). Notably both Red Eyes (Open) and Fourth Match Flame have no overlaps, instead both having some resistances as opposite to it (Red Eyes (Open): Endures Gluttony, Envy Ineffective; Fourth Match Flame: Endures Envy). - Meursault's Base E.G.O Endures Pride (Pursuance, partially You Want To Get Beat? Hurtily? which has Pride as Ineffective) and is Fatal to Lust (Pursuance, Capote) and Gluttony (Pursuance). Notably Capote has an opposite resistance to it (Endures Gluttony), while Pursuance is a near-perfect match. - Hong Lu's Base E.G.O Endures Gloom (no overlap) and is Fatal to Wrath (Roseate Desire, Dimension Shredder) and Envy (Dimension Shredder). Notably all his current E.G.O share Fatal resistance to Wrath. - Heathcliff's Base E.G.O Endures Envy (partially Telepole which has Envy as Ineffective) and is Fatal to Lust (no overlap) and Gluttony (Telepole). Notably AEDD has no overlap. - Ishmael's Base E.G.O Endures Gloom (no overlap) and is Fatal to Lust (Capote) and Sloth (Ardor Blossom Star). Notably Roseate Desire has no overlap, and all her non-Base E.G.Os have opposite resistances to it (Roseate Desire: Lust Ineffective; Capote: Fatal to Gloom; Ardor Blossom Star: Endures Lust, Fatal to Gloom). - Rodya's Base E.G.O Endures Pride (no overlap) and is Fatal to Gloom (Fourth Match Flame) and Envy (no overlap). Notably Rime Shank has no overlap, and all her non-Base E.G.Os have opposite resistances to it (Rime Shank: Gloom Ineffective; Fourth Match Flame: Endures Envy). - Sinclair's Base E.G.O Endures Gluttony (no overlap) and is Fatal to Wrath (no overlap) and Pride (no overlap). Notably none of his non-base E.G.O overlap with it, and Impending Day has an opposite resistance (Wrath Ineffective). - Outis's Base E.G.O Endures Pride (no overlap) and is Fatal to Lust (Sunshower) and Envy (no overlap). Notably Ya Sunyata Tad Rupam and Ebony Stem have no overlap, instead having opposite resistances to it (Ya Sunyata Tad Rupam: Lust Ineffective; Ebony Stem: Fatal to Pride). - Gregor's Base E.G.O Endures Sloth (no overlap) and is Fatal to Gloom (AEDD) and Envy (no overlap). Notably Legerdemain and Lantern have no overlap, and both Legerdemain and AEDD have opposite resistances (Legerdemain: Fatal to Sloth; AEDD: Fatal to sloth, Endures Envy). Another interesting note is that Legerdemain and Lantern overlap with each other in being Fatal to Wrath, and partially overlap in their resistance to Gluttony (Endured for Legerdemain, Ineffective for Lantern).

What does any of this mean...? Shrugs. I gave you the info, do whatever you want with it I guess.

[constantineshots]

these were some of the tags on the post where john was commenting on if facing demons was because he being self-destructive or if he was being enraged. i say both, and very much do agree with the tags, but i'm putting what i have to say on it under the cut because it's going to be a lot. trigger warnings for abuse, mentions of death/animal deaths, depression, etc. also a bit of rambling. this also somehow turned into psychoanalyzing. oopsie.

naturally, john and i have vastly different experiences regarding life, but i think there's a connect that helps me see things through his lens a lot more clearly, especially when it comes to the psychological.

just a bit of recap on my life i guess, but i'll just say "i got abused" and we'll move on from there. i can connect, in sum.

while john has newcastle and the deaths of friends under his belt, the abuse of his father, the blame of the death of his mother ( though i can't remember if he knew about his twin or not, but i don't think he did ), the magic, the killing animals, the killing of that one man all weighing on his shoulders and then much, much more, the trauma left behind was something i could easily connect with because of the depression, the self-destruction, the instances where even he himself is debating on suicide and alludes to it consistently, while also doing things to save his own ass but also that could very easily kill him. it's conflicting.

for me, i was angry and self-destructive because i felt like the world hated me. i'm sure if there was some form of power that i thought could help make me feel more powerful and i had less of an obligation to my siblings of whom faced the same treatment, i would have taken it and ran with it, too.

but there are things you start to do. you learn to lie to keep yourself out of trouble, give the people hurting you the truths they want to hear and it's something you learn to do in every day life. you'd say something that fed into what they wanted to be the truth and get the same abuse anyway, except the arguments wouldn't be as long and you'd get out of the situation faster. it's a bit of a morbid way to look at it, but while people tell you to "fight back", it's not that easy. i think it's why i connect to john so much- he didn't necessarily fight back against his dad from what we could tell until he eventually did the spell to keep his dad sick. and people will constantly say "i'd just fight back", or "i wouldn't have let that happen to me when i was a kid" and that ends up enforced in some medias that people write.

john does a lot of running and ducking his head and getting other people wrapped up in his shit. it's a path of destruction because he doesn't realize, at first, that it's going to be as big of a shit show as he thinks. for example, with ritchie, when ritchie says "oh i can handle it no worries john it's my expertise" etc. and john trusts it- he needs something done, and someone's willing to do it. but then ritchie ends up another person hurt or dead in what he thinks is his own fault.

you get told the same thing so many times throughout your life that you eventually start to believe it. sometimes, things just fuck up. you get called killer all your life, it only takes so long before you think that, well, maybe you're the curse. maybe you're all the bad shit that everyone says you are.

i do want to note that john does have dissociative episodes, especially in the newer run of hellblazer and he straight up says that. however, as someone who's taken so many psychology classes that i probably could have gotten a degree in it had my university provided the program, that doesn't necessarily mean a disorder, but it does usually fall under ptsd, depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorders, borderline personality disorders, schizophrenia, and other disorders. most disorders fall under these categories, though.

i have c-ptsd, depression, anxiety, and probably a lot of other mental disorders not explored because of past traumas that i could probably connect to his self destructive nature, but john has also probably only seen the therapists in ravenscar that proceeded to give him electro shock therapy while everyone else who had the nerve decided to beat the fuck out of him because they thought he killed astra. so more trauma tacked on to john's little plethora of already traumatic memories.

to be technical, there is a difference between c-ptsd and ptsd. with c-ptsd, the symptoms tend to begin six months or more after the initial traumatic event. *cracks knuckles* there is also a difference in symptoms, though they aren't necessarily exclusive to one or the other. c-ptsd tends to also be a result of ongoing, repeated emotional traumas, and on top of that, holds the trauma of ptsd, and then more. to clarify, ptsd usually has symptoms of dissociative episodes, flashbacks, dreams and nightmares related to trauma, commonly taking part in self-destructive behaviors, etc. to tack onto c-ptsd's symptoms, there is the constant feeling of guilt, constant hate towards yourself, consistently believing the world is bad in general, etc. i also want to focus on the fact that c-ptsd usually stems from childhood abuse, which is why i personally think john has c-ptsd, and then it just got worse from there. but you can have both! that's possible. so. i mean. well. call it like it is, john's probably got both.

anyways, moving on! borderline personality disorder, or bpd, kind of changes somewhat person to person, but overall, i think that the symptoms can fit john, in some cases. i pulled up a list just to be a little more clear and concise, but there is "an intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection" and i would really like to point out that, most of the time, john likes to say things like "i'm not good for you" or "i walk this path alone" or. you know, things along that line. for the most part, he pushes people away before they can get close. "a pattern of unstable intense relationships" and i would like to use chas as an example, which i know people would hate, but there are quite a few moments throughout hellblazer where chas will literally tell john that he hates him or shove his face in a toilet and tell him that's where he belongs.... and john doesn't walk away, he just lets chas walk away and come back because. well. why not? he thinks he deserves it half the time. but also, most of john's relationships aren't exactly stable. half the time, his niece and sister don't want to see him, the other half are his relationships that end fairly quickly, and others are just. john being john. "...seeing yourself as bad or as if you don't exist at all." "impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success" the guy smokes after having of had lung cancer. what more do you want for an example. he also consistently does magic even though it's fucked over his life multiple times. again and again and again and he knows that it's fucking him over. unsafe sex can also be debated- in the newer version of hellblazer, he has an illegitimate son named noah that he didn't know existed, for example. and that's where i'll leave that. though in some cases, it can be argued as symptoms of ptsd, though it's possible he could have bpd.

this is going to be the last one, and i am not a doctor or anything but i think that it's possible he could have schizophrenia, or simply hallucinations as a result of any of the other disorders on here, which is sometimes possible but not exactly always common. based on john being an unreliable narrator, there is the suggestion that the ghosts that plague john constantly are not actually there, and that they might just be hallucinations. there are other symptoms of schizophrenia, but i've mostly covered them above. visual hallucinations also include people who are typically loved ones and friends who are no longer alive, i would like to add, but again, they could actually be ghosts, though it's somewhat possible that they're not. in the case that the ghosts are not real....

ANYWAYS. feel free to add more. i did it quick, but. there is this....

[solomons-poison]

i would like you to study satan under a microscope. what are your feelings on him and his character and ect.

I love the way this is worded lol

Oh boy I have a lot of feelings about Satan. He is one of my favorite characters tbh, for many reasons, and I am so so happy for how the writing has expanded on him in Obey Me Nightbringer. My thoughts are just a ramble so it's going under the cut ✂️

(Also at the time I'm posting this, I have made it to lesson 12 so there are spoilers about that marked in red)

So Satan's already one of my favorite types, a somewhat serious-seeming scholar who is quite a goofball when you least expect it. He earns points with me for being a cat lover, and he's such a romantic on top of that. I've had so many thoughts about him writing poetry for the one he loves, maybe even as a confession.

Comparing him from present-Satan versus past-Satan is really cool to me, I really love seeing the contrast of what he was like in the beginning to how we know him now, in the original Obey Me. Like changes in personality, speech, his views on the world and the people around him, everything.

Although it is partly comedic, Satan being practically a feral child is so important to me at this point in time in Obey Me Nightbringer. Even though he has been watching everything through Lucifer's eyes since in the Celestial Realm (which I love that detail, because then we know from that that Lucifer had issues with the Celestial Realm and Father long enough to bring Satan to life), he has had no chance to socialize and be brought up normally like the others.

All he knows is the rage that was delivered unto him by Lucifer, rage against humans (or more specifically anyone harming his family) and them dealing with the Fall. Not to mention, after leaving the Celestial Realm, now they all had to deal with the racism?? Prejudice???? Idk what to call it, but the people of the Devildom refusing to accept them and disrespecting them.

On top of that, he's now tethered to these almost unknown people, people that are seemingly already a family unit and he's just. Existing somewhere alongside it?? So he's doubly misplaced, not quite having a set place or category to exist in and feeling alienated. (I can't help but laugh at Lucifer putting a curse/spell on Satan so that he couldn't just run off, but eventually ended it because Satan would just growl at him the whole time 💀)

As I'm typing this, I've made it to lesson 12. I honestly wasn't sure how Satan would feel towards finding out MC is a human, as we didn't get a clear answer compared to some of the others. But I'm glad he acknowledges that, had MC confronted him directly about it and confessed, he would have gone into a rage, and the only thing that maybe saved them was the fact that he heard it secondhand.

But after considering the facts, that MC still tried to help and protect the brothers during their time as attendant, and (of course depending on your dialogue choices) mostly treated him pretty equally to the others, he needed to rethink how he felt. Satan realizes that MC being a human isn't automatically a bad thing, and that there's more to consider than that.

It's especially very sweet to me how he says that he will dedicate his time reading to researching the curse on MC and how to lift it, when previously, he was mostly focused on things for himself, simply learning and gathering knowledge, along with the occasional mischief in how to defeat Lucifer. It's such a difference seeing everyone so serious and how their separation from the Celestial Realm really seriously affected them.

I am very glad to see Satan start to be accepted by the brothers. Honestly the whole situation is just a lot to think about, and it's understandable why both parties were so discombobulated, suddenly having this new brother to learn about while Satan is dealing with his inherited rage. It's heartwarming to see the brothers acknowledge that Satan does have a space with them. He even gets along with Luke in lesson 12, albeit briefly, but it's interesting to see him learn to interact with someone more rationally and calmly lol.

I'm OK with everyone being a little more silly in the original Obey Me, as this is thousands(?) of years after the Fall and they've had the chance to grow into their sins and powers. But it's just nice to see how this sudden change affected them, and especially Satan who was born from such a traumatic and major event.

This feels like a lot of word vomit and probably doesn't make much sense, but tl;dr, I love Satan's character and I have a lot of feelings for him. I'm very interested to see his continued development from here

[cosmoknightchaos]

hi :) not entirely sure if they count as an OC, but if they do I would love 🌈 and 🍃 for your Character <3

OMG,,,, MY CHARACTER,,,

Yeah absolutely they count!! I consider all of my sonas to fall under the OC category, so you can ask about any of them! Wink wink hint hint ;)))))

For people not familiar with My Character- there are two versions of this character, My Hero and My Villain. They are the same character at different points in his life. Same thing goes for Your Character/Your Hero/Your Villain, who is the asker's character. Wanted to add this to clarify my responses.

Absolutely insane ramble below the cut. You've been warned.

🌈 (Rainbow)- What does this oc like and dislike about themselves?

Well shit man. Straight to the point huh

Dislikes first! Get the angst out of the way and then we'll get silly! My Character's biggest dislike about himself is probably their past. It's not really that he hates who he was before becoming the villain, but it's not who they are or wanted to be, so it is a genuine disliking. Similarly, anything that reminds him of his past brings a bit of discomfort. Teehee.

My Villain, in addition to above, dislikes THE HERO!! THEIR ARCHNEMISIS!! I'm joking they're besties lol. Villain has a wide variety of sensory issues that they hate! He tends to only eat certain foods and can't really try new ones, he can only wear certain types of clothes, their evil layer has to be decorated a certain way, his gadgets have to be built, painted, and labelled a certain way, while listening to a certain song or playlist, so on. Villain is aware of all these issues and hates them. It pisses him off that he has to do things a certain way or else everything will explode or something like that. However, he also hates not doing things that certain way, so they kind of cancel each other out.

As for My Hero... well. Shit's fucked. They actually lose most of Villain's sensory issues (except the clothing one, that one gets worse) and develop completely new problems! Such as very intense anxiety, perfectionism, and apathy. All of which he hates having. Hero has a good amount of self-loathing going on, because they feel like they can't ever get anything right, they have a much higher emotional awareness, and he's realizing that the world is not as black and white as he though! It's complex and people feel different things all the time and how could he be so stupid for not realizing that before! He's a criminal mastermind, a genius, why the FUCK did he not figure this out earlier???? The role of the hero is also painfully reminiscent of his life before becoming the villain, so that's an added layer of discomfort and anger. I can't help but think that Hero also starts to develop a disliking of their archnemisis, Your Villain, for a variety of reasons. First for refusing to keep the silly dynamic they had when My Character was the villain, then for causing My Character for become the hero, then for being a better villain than My Villain was, then for forcing My Character to change their entire worldview. It's never a serious disliking, more of a moment of anger in which they need to point a finger at someone, but he loves Your Character too much to develop a serious grudge.

Wow that was a lot! Thank goodness likes are sillier and shorter lol. My Character has a lot of common likes between versions, the biggest being their archnemisis and BFF Forever, Your Character!! He is such a fan of Your Hero, and no matter how angry or angsty he gets after the two switch roles, he is still a fan of Your Villain. My Character will always be Your Character's biggest supporter and wants them to be okay and happy.

My Villain is definitely more aware of what they like than Hero, but they share a lot of likes! Both of them have a huge love of dramatic one-liners, catchphrases, nicknames, and monologues. Villain absolutely rehearses his monologues in front of a mirror, and loves referring to Your Hero by various nicknames, his favourite being "Old friend". He also LOVES using "I was just like you when I was younger, innocent and naive" for shits and giggles. My Hero is more of the cool one-liner sort, since the villains tend to be the monologuers, and he loves when he finds the perfect thing to say. My Character also has a love of poetry, both reading and writing it. Tinkering and inventing things are a given, since My Villain is an evil mastermind and has to build gadgets and whatnot, but Hero also enjoys this!! A Villain-exclusive like is that he's a fashionista, and takes their outfits very seriously, so that's a big source of enjoyment to them. And a Hero-exclusive like is the small things in life: taking a walk, hanging out in a local shop, reading a book outside on a warm day, small gestures of kindness, stuff like that.

🍃(Falling leaf)- Describe this oc in one word

Stubborn.

[didderd]

Another interesting thing, you say? 👀

Now I'm curious, what might that interesting thing be? 🤠

oh you'r rly spoiling me today, aren't you :3

this one's a long ramble lmao, so i'm putting it under a read more:

ok, so some ppl with tics get thought tics, this is probably the most interesting thing i'v ever learned abt tics.

they're tics that ofc come in the form of thoughts. i don't think they fall under either tic category?? (those being verbal and motor tics.) tho maybe some are verbal tics that aren't strong enough to surface? i'm pretty sure at least that that's what my first(?) one was. (which i'm pretty sure was my first tic that i can remember.)

a lil off topic, but i can't talk about thought tics without talking about this: when i was like 13? (way before my tourette's rly surfaced/became active. i think it was just dormant for a long time?) my older sister had me watch her kids for a moment, and i was sitting there staring at them. and i kept getting the strong urge to ask if they were ok, even tho they were obviously fine. they hadn't fallen down or anything. one of them was even offering me chips. at the time i reasoned that it was just paternal instincts and shrugged it off (even tho i was still very confused abt it lol), but years later (at 18) after learning abt my tourette's i thought abt it again and it clicked that it was probably a tic trying to come out, but not being quite strong enough yet. :D

ANYWAYS, Sweet Anita kinda described them as like random or word association thoughts that will interrupt your train of thought and make it very hard to focus.

i don't often get them, and they can be hard to recognize even when i do, but i think i'll more often get image related ones.

it's REALLY annoying when i'm trying to daydream and the two ppl interacting are at a table and silly lil tourette's brain wont stop making whoever has any amount of their weight on the table fkn tip the table over lmao. even if it's just a hand. even if the table has four legs. that hand will suddenly weigh more than both ppl at the table combined, and two of those legs might as well not even exist.

this one is something that happened more often before my tourette's surfaced, so it was especially confusing and frustrating, but it would also force the body of whoever i'm trying to think of to contract and expand. from impossibly thin to impossibly wide. when this happened i could not for the life of me focus on one body type, and it would derail the whole daydream n i'd eventually fall asleep or give up.

so yeah, thought tics can be frustrating lmao, but they are also very interesting. :>

[brightside-brigade]

I am curious about your archangel/demon kintype. Could you please tell more about it?

ye!! Of course! (If this doesn't make much sense, I'm sorry. We just rolled out of bed pfft)

So, its an interesting one as that ones not necessarily "mine," persay. Originally, that particular kintype had belonged to the previous host. And initially, I didn't notice I wasn't her until roughly half a year later. They had a lot of types, and most of them didn't resonate with me in the way this one does.

This actually ended up being because it fits myself as well, if in a roundabout way. After my first death in-source, I ended up coming back with ability to access traits similar to both of the species. (Of course, angels of the Scarlet King are a little different than the ones often depicted here, but fall under the "angels" category nonetheless.)

Of course, my appearance wasn't always as one. I had been granted the ability to shape-shift to some degree and that had been one of my "true" forms. (Which I technically don't have one, I'm a sentient necklace at the end of the day no matter what body I'm possessing).

This form generally includes antlers, basic wings, a spiked/thorned "halo", gold or red glowing eyes that are typically leaking/crying constantly (looking like they're melting), ect. Sometimes it had a tail, Sometimes not, and when it did it tended to vary in appearance. So perhaps it wasn't "part" of that form as much as it was something that I subconsciously liked to add. Another "sometimes," feature is hoofed feet. (Though that's when I start straying into Clefs territory oops).

Overall, I'm not entirely sure Archangel/Demon is the right term for what it is, especially since those things can be very different in terms of the Scarlet King. But at the same time, it fits. I am one of his strongest chosen, his son even if indirectly. A warrior of sorts, a messenger and occasional vessel. An angel by definition, but also a Demon by definition depending on who you ask. And at one point he did specifically say something along the lines of me being brought back as the mid point of divine and infernal. Maybe there's a better term for this? And if there is, I'd love to hear it!

And thank you for letting me ramble, it's fun and its helping me recontextualize and understand my types! Hope you have a wonderful day/night/evening/ect! ^_^

[lady-of-the-spirit]

I was thinking some thoughts about my girl Joan and her relationships with the Guard so here’s what I have to share with you all (under the cut bc it’s long)

Joan + Nile: Joan figured out her own way to live her life that is completely different from how the others live, and for Nile she's a reminder that she can always live differently. For Joan, Nile is the only immortal she watched become immortal, so she wants to watch out for her. The two of them are the only ones who are caught up on modern pop culture (Joan misses a lot but still knows more than the others). The two of them are the only ones who have had a relatively normal life in recent memory so they kind of enjoy that sense of normalcy they share that the others don't have. They're also both the newest members of the Guard so they have that in common, trying to find their footing with these complete strangers. Joan relaxes pretty easily with Nile because she's not thinking "this is someone I should have been with this whole time" because Nile is brand new, and Nile with Joan because there's no expectation for what she should be like, how she should fit in with her. They talk about art together, and Nile also is like "good, someone who knows about modern therapy and has words for things" like she doesn't have to explain some aspects of modern life with her. Joan WILL share her oranges with Nile. And also has good advice for being immortal and also books and things.

Joan + Booker: became fast friends while they were travelling together in 1812 and picked up right where they left off 200 years later. Joan takes one look at Booker and goes "get some fucking therapy." She's more at ease with him than she is with the others because he's the only one she knows (no matter how long ago or for how little time they knew each other), and he enjoys her company because she’s good company, she’s a calm, quiet presence and sometimes you just want that in your life. They both get each other’s loneliness, they’re very much the same way in that regard. They find the company refreshing - there's no mutual support of nihilism so she's more encouraging of him dealing with his issues (and seeing his issues as issues, and being okay with him talking about them), and they both fill in an empty space in each other's lives. They'll just hang out in the backyard and vibe together. They'll nap on the couch together. And like with Nile, Joan opens his eyes to a life he didn't know was even an option for him - he’s looking at this relatively normal life she’s made for herself despite her immortality, and he’s like “I can have this?” and she’s like “yes you can!” They'd do the Palm Springs Bar Dance together. Piggyback rides because he's tall and she's small. With him Joan doesn't get a sense of pity or sadness about her? Like he's not feeling sorry for her or anything. She appreciates it. She feels like she can talk to him about anything because he's so open to everything. They only ever call each other by their birth names - Ioana and Sebastien - and if anyone else does it they just give them a Look.

Joan + Joe: the Artists. They do art together. Joe takes an active role in trying to break Joan out of her shell with them. It freaks her out, not because of him specifically, but just because it catches her off guard that he would actually want to get to know her (and that makes him sad). She is extremely awkward and it makes her embarrassed (and is thinking “please kill me” the whole time) at first. They take walks together just to talk, or walk in silence, and this helps them get to know each other better than talking in the house. Joan probably has one of his old paintings and is trying to restore it, or one of his poems and is trying to translate it and when they find out it's another bonding moment for them as Joe admires her work. Maybe vice versa is true too, like one of Joe's favourite books is one she published some decades ago. Joe's a little sore that Joan "stole" Booker from him but in a mostly joking, only a little serious way. Everyone is constantly mixing up their names because they're basically the same and it becomes a joke for them to do it to themselves. (Joan: Joan, will you come here? Joe: Sure, Joe.) It annoys everyone and just makes the mixups even worse.

also @onyx-void had the idea a while back that Joan doesn’t have a last name or one that she recognizes because she struggles with a sense of belonging, and after decades with the old guard they pick one for her together, and I’ve been in love with it ever since, so that’s definitely canon for her.                   

Joan + Nicky: The quiet pair. Nicky's form of bringing Joan out of her shell is spending quality time with her - Joan do you want to help me make breakfast? Joan want to come to the store with me? Joan is it okay if I sit on the couch with you and do the crossword in complete silence? And Joan meets this the same way - Nicky I wanted to make this specific Italian dish could you help me? Nicky I was gonna make a stop at the library, want to come with? All sorts of quiet activities that involves a lot of quiet chatter that helps bring them together. They talk about what they're meant to be Doing on earth with this time given to them a lot. Nicky's worried about what it means, that they never met her - if it's destiny for them to meet, why didn't they meet her sooner? How could she have been destined for centuries of loneliness? And Joan wonders if she was destined to be alone. Joan wonders a lot if what she's doing is even doing anything - she’s not out there helping the same way they are, she doesn’t even know what she’s doing - and Nicky encourages her, believing even her small influences mean something to someone.

Joan + Andy: they butt heads. Andy sees Joan's loneliness and it frustrates her because first Same and second That's My Fault even though it's not and it was just shitty luck (Andy is the leader, so she feels the responsibility for everyone and thinks “jesus christ Andy you were right there when it happened if I had noticed something about Joan/Ioanna when she first came back she wouldn’t have been alone”). Joan herself struggles with her own feelings about her bad luck and tries to not take it out on the Guard because it wasn't their fault but she sees Andy as the leader and her mind works around to it being her fault even though she knows it wasn't and she’s just looking for someone to blame. Joan also lives a life that is wildly Not what Andy is used to at all and it drives her crazy that Joan is so relaxed about it, because all she sees is Joan being reckless and stupid about her safety. Joan does not appreciate anyone criticizing how she lives her life, especially when she's been living it this way for years now. She can take care of herself thank you very much. Joan doesn't see Andy as her leader, both because she was never led by Andy (like the boys) and because she's not new to being immortal and doesn't need a teacher (like Nile). They struggle to find a common ground most of the time. Joan softening up Booker and helping out Nile makes her better in Andy's eyes, and Joan respects how hard Andy works for her team. Joan offering her place as a safehouse when they need one also raises Andy's opinion of her. When it comes down to it, they do eventually come to care about each other and respect each other - they just have clashing world views.

[heizours]

❀ — REQUESTING RULES

as far as i know, i’m already sure you know this is a sfw blog so i would appreciate if you also avoid requesting any nsfw content. if you're requests contains something very suggestive i won't write it

there will be no limitation for the number of characters you had requested for when it’s a headcanon, but i can’t guarantee that it will be written and finished immediately as soon as possible. although for prompts i can only take one character

i won’t write any topic that contains very dark content/themes, can be very triggering and can also be personal (s*lf harms, ab*se, in*st, p*dophillia, r*pe, tr*umas and etc.)

i don't write for poly relationships (i'm sorry)

genres that i will write: casual, fluff, hurt/comfort, crack, slice of life, au and angst with happy endings (i apologize if it disappointed you i won’t right heavy angst, i just can’t and i suck at writing very angsty endings)

for an au, i write for modern, apocalypse, highschool or any idea that you have in mind (just no angst ending again please). i sadly won’t write for other fandoms since i’m not good with handling more than one fandom, but if i will in the future it might be in a side blog or a new blog

if you send a request but it seems that it hasn’t been posted yet, it can fall between two things. it’s either still in this blog’s drafts or i deleted it because i don’t know how will i be able to write it, i don’t understand the concept well and i might misinterpret it which can lead to misunderstandings

you can request under 3 categories. headcanons, scenarios and (short) prompts, feel free to give what idea would you like on the prompt you decided for and i’ll try my best to give it a shot. any suggestions or ideas that you want for the headcanons you requested for are allowed (as long as it stays sfw)

you can state if you want a platonic or romantic relationship with the characters you want. i’ll try to make to make it lean into a platonic relationship (but mostly all my works fall into a romantic and established relationship)

i won't write character x character, character x traveler or characters that are siblings/family

for minor characters like klee, diona, qiqi and sayu, i will only write platonic relationships with them.

i prefer to write gn! reader so it's free for everyone to read this blog's works (although i sometimes write female reader if it's requested)

if there appears that there are mistakes or errors in my works, pls approach me and enlighten me why and how is it wrong

i will write mostly for male characters

i write at my own pace, any messages on my inbox that asks when will the given request or new work will be posted will just put me into pressure or might lost the mood to continue to write it

and last, please be patient waiting for your request to be posted. don't worry, your request will soon get to me! <3

❀ — TAGS

#—library talks - just some rambles about any time of the day

#library visitors: (name) - when someone sends an ask

#—mail!- everytime an ask has been answered from my inbox

#—imp! - when i reblog something important

#—library recs! - fics i recommend from other writers

thank you for taking the time reading this <3

[drivingsideways]

Hi Pri, I'm back with more coherent thought(I hope). Sorry for the previous asks. I'm no expert so I can't comment on the actual institutional changes. I did say despair because in one part I have no faith in an institution like the military reforming itself when the entire purpose to teach others to perhaps one day take a life. Of all the things Seokbong knew, his love for teaching, art, the students he taught, his mom that he called for at the last moment, he still chose death. The desire for all of these had been beaten out of him. I can't tell if "I should at least do something" was for himself or for others watching, hoping it would change them. Maybe it felt good to watch him fight back, finally, but the end was so cruel to him. To be honest, I do live a country where, on paper, we have a good constitution, child protection laws, labour laws, gender based violence etc yet everyday, we have a new statistic. Every new victim, like Seokbong, is just one too many to me. So it seems like we are on our own in every which way. That feels hopeless to me. (PS: DP makes it so clear why LSY had to have a character like HSM, it's brutal out there.) (And a large part of this how I feel about it which may not be helpful in anyway, especially against the points you made.)

Hi Anon! First off, apologies, because I think your earlier ask crossed tracks in my brain with what I was thinking about at the time, and so I misunderstood what you were saying. I don't think it's an invalid reaction in any way to feel despair/ horror at the hopelessness that ending is imbued with. At the end of the day, D.P, though heavily based in reality is, in fact, a work of fiction. So there were deliberate narrative choices made, and you are following those narrative cues. We are intended to feel horror and sorrow at what happened to Suk-bong.

But! It's also worth noting (assuming that the show followed the webtoon closely even in the ending) that the same text reads differently depending on the time and context. In 2015-16, I would guess that this was intended to make people pay attention to a terrible problem, and do something about it. In 2021, as I wrote before, it probably reads differently to domestic audiences, for whom the source material isn't new, and who've seen things change at least a little ; though I'm sure there are those watching who feel despair at how slow progress has been. International audiences on the other hand, I think, are mostly reacting both to our current general context (the world seems a very dark place right now for most of us!) and the general horror that the show depicts.

Under the cut for length

I don't know if I've got anything more useful to say than I've already said re: my own response to the ending, which is to take a slightly more optimistic view of the world, I guess!

I don't think it's unfair to say that an institution like the military can never be reformed fully because its very basis is so violent. I agree! In my perfect world, there exists no nation states and no armies (and no need for them). Alas, we're a ways from that stage (but I'm hopeful we will get there, probably not in my lifetime, but maybe by the time of my great-grand nieces/ nephews/gender fluid cyborgs! :D) And you're right, every new statistic is one too many, one more person we've failed as a society. And it's very hard to live with that knowledge, unless you've completely deadened your conscience, or shut yourself away (which is a trauma response I can understand!)

As to the larger question of how to "fix" these almost incomprehensibly huge problems- idk, there's no one size fits all here, is there? Many people feel justified in choosing violence as a path to change, many others abjure it, with equally justifiable reasons. I fall in the latter category and try not to judge the former too harshly.

On a more personal note, my immediate impulse is to "fix it" - i.e. the story we've been told in DP- by writing a story of recovery, healing and change! I feel it's important to counter narratives that feel hopeless with narratives that show the possibility for change; I feel that need is more immediate now than ever before in my own lifetime. But I guess that's just where I'm coming from.

Take care anon! I hope some of this rambling is helpful to you!

[quokkalatte]

Affinity pt.2

Part 2

Category: Series

Pairing: Street Racer!Hoseok x Cat Hybrid! Reader

Warnings for this chapter: slight tiny mentions of blood and past abuse, slight language

Author's Note: Honestly this is mostly a filler chapter so it's just not that.....good? idk but I hope you enjoy ♡ as far as posting goes, it may be a bit before I get the next chapter out out I go back to school tomorrow and I'm working too so yeah XP

Tag List: @xinnieally @twilight-loveer @zhangyixingxing1 @jhopespanda @smeunjipark @kaguracysan @timberkat @wxnnabewitch @dust-er130 @sweetcoffeeblandtea @lokathefemale @fairy-lover13 @chari-a @olaxeiii @aejae-ssi @queenofthecliff @dragonwitchgaming @lifeisnorainbow @2seokkyo @chisana-himawari @serendipitiousbutterfly @unknownbluekey @katkit73 @bang-zero

Cannot be Tagged: @musicandbooksandfoodohmy @honeylovetae @lilacbaby11 @cat-the-caitlin @hobi_isadaydream

[Message me to be added to the tag list so you can be notified for future chapters]

× × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × ×

Hoseok waited patiently for you to finish your shower, sitting in the living room to get his heart rate down. He assessed the situation, he was now the owner of a hybrid, not only a hybrid, but one that has been through a lot and still manages to be completely innocent. He also assessed that he had absolutely no clue how to care for one. We're there regulations? Special diets? Oh no did he have to take you to get fixed? The actual thought of taking you to a vet had him experiencing waves of anxiety. He was so worked up that when you walked into the living room he didn't even notice.

"I'm finished" you say, and he jumps and looks up at you. You were clean, ears still slightly damp but had a small shine in the black and grey. Your tail, sticking through the baggy grey sweats, flickered nervously. Now that it was clean, be could see where the clumps had been pulled out. Some pink patches poked through and Hoseok's heart clenched uncomfortably at the sight, and he has reminded of your hands. He licked his lips, a nervous habit, and stood up and walked over to you. You watched him curiously,  and he hands came to your own, and you flinched slightly, but he turned them over.

The skin was a pale red color, the skin still freshly aggravated and probably caused pain. There were slight droplets of blood, but nothing to serious. "Does it hurt?" He asks gently, and you avert your eyes, staring down at your hands.

"No, it doesn't" it was a lie, that was obvious. Hoseok frowned, how many times had you had to keep your pain from Yeonsoo, afraid of being punished further.  

"It does kitten, and if you're hurt you should tell me. You won't get in trouble I promise" He says, and you nod. He let's go of your hands, and goes into the bathroom, rummaging under the sink and pulled out a med kit. When he returned to the living room, you were still standing  where he had left you. He gestured to the couch, taking a seat. You hesitantly sat next to him, your tail curling around your waist securely. He opens the med kit and sets it on the coffee table.  He takes the opened box of gauze and antibiotic cream, and a couple of alcohol patches. You frown, seeing that everything had been used before.  

"Do you get hurt too?" You ask, looking up at him. Hoseok shrugs, ripping open the paper of the patches and pulling out the potent cloth, the smell making you wrinkle your nose as it stung your nose.

"I get scratched a lot when I work with tools. I work as a mechanic and I'm bound to get cuts and bruises. This'll sting a bit, but it'll help" he says and presses the pad to your skin. You hiss, ears pressing flat against your head and tail clenching tightly. A small whimper followed as he wiped the other. Hoseok whispered out a couple of 'sorry' and 'it's okay you're doing great' and applied some antibiotic cream to them, which soothed the burn instantly. "I also used to race motorcycles, and I got road rash a couple of times" he added. You listened intently, your eyes looking up to his concentrated face. He wrapped your hands in the gauze, and when he finished, he gave you a small smile, which made you let out a small purr in thanks.

"Thank you master- I mean Hoseok" you correct yourself quickly and he laughs.

"No problem kitten. Now, there isn't much I can do for your tail, it's already healed" he says, and you glance down at your abused tail, and it flicks self-consciously. "But I'll ask Namjoon what I could put on it. His cat hybrid Jimin used to scratch his as a nervous habit before he was adopted, and Namjoon put something on it to heal the bare patches" he babbles.

"He would pull it when I wasn't paying attention" you told him, and he frowned

"Yeonsoo?"

"Yes. I would daydream, and if I wasn't listening or answer him, he'd pull it to get my attention. Or he did it if I messed up or did something wrong" your voice was quiet, and Hoseok wanted to comfort you, but he feared you'd flinch away if he tried to pet you.

"You don't have to worry about that anymore Y/n. Yeonsoo won't get his filthy hands on you ever again, not if I have anything to say about it" Hoseok says firmly, and a spark of warmth crept up his spine when you smiled radiantly at him. He returned a small one back."Let's get you to bed"

You had instantly curled up as soon as you fell on the bed, pulling the blanket over yourself and closed your eyes. Hoseok stood in the doorway for a moment. You looked so small, and the baggy clothes didn't help either. You just looked so fragile and he had the same urge to protect you like he did the first time he saw you. A lot has happened in in the past few hours. He made sure you were firmly asleep before walking down the hall and into his own bed to sleep.

There was a dilemma when he dressed for work in the morning. You'd be left alone, and he wasn't sure if he liked the thought of that. You laid out on the couch, stretching out in a cat-like way as you watched him throw on his uniform and pour coffee into a thermos as he rambled on about leaving you at home alone. He was a very interesting human, one that could keep his cool and act nonchalant one moment, and completely be flustered and inadequate the next.

"I don't mind staying at home alone Hoseok, honest" you peer at him from fallen on your face. Hoseok glanced at you, buttoning the navy shirt of his uniform and a piece of bacon dangling from his mouth. You giggled at the sight, and he quickly chewed the rest of the bacon.

"Are you sure? I feel guilty, I could take you in with me" he says, a bit to himself. You wrinkle your nose in distaste.

"No offense Hoseok, but the thought of spending the day in a shop that reeks of motor oil and sweat isn't my idea of a fun time." He laughed and you sat up, taking a piece of bacon and chewed it happily.

"Alright alright, I'm just nervous"

"Really? Couldn't tell. I'll be okay, I've been left alone plenty of times" you say, and Hoseok sighs, and nods

 "Okay kitten." He nods, and walks towards the front door, but freezes and turn back around.

"What do you eat?" He asks suddenly. You cock your head at him, confused.

"Uh, food?"

"What kind? What do you like? Is there a certain thing I should he feeding you?" He asks

"Lots of kinds. I like fish, but not crabs. I can't have regular milk, the fat content makes me break out into hives and I get a belly ache. Ma- He always complained I was expensive and cost him money to feed. I like almond milk even though it has a weird after taste." You say. "And they have supplements for hybrids, like vitamins but I don't need themas long as I get plenty of meat and liquids" you say. Hoseok repeats this under his breath, and nods.

"I don't have any almond milk, but I have fish sticks somewhere in the freezer. But help yourself to the fridge kitten what's mine is yours" he smiles at the way you grin. "I should be home around 5 okay?"

"Okay Hoseok" You yawn, already prepared to take a cat nap in the patch of sun that peeked through his blinds. Hoseok chewed his lip, still unsure of leaving you alone, but you looked content enough, so he grabbed his car keys and headed out to the garage.

 "I'm telling you Hobi, it's a piece of shit. I don't know why you continue to drive it" Kim Taehyung scrunches his nose when Hoseok pulled into the shop. "And it's hideous as well" Hoseok rolled his eyes, stepping out and running a hand through his hair.

"Tae, your specialty is muscle cars, not race cars.  So shut up about my baby she's doing fine" Hoseok pats the hood of his beloved car. No, it wasn't the one he raced with, but it was an older car, and he was attached to it, he better be he fixed it from the ground up. Sure it likes to stall when turning on and the paint needs a new coat, but it was his child. Taehyung chuckles at Hoseok's words, taking a drink of his Pepsi.

"If you call two seconds away from falling apart 'okay' then sure, it's just peachy"

"Don't you have someone's oil to change" Hoseok says hauntily, and Taehyung huffs and slinks back to the back of the garage. Hoseok pulled the buliten down from his desk, checking the recent repos and bring-ins of the week. There had been at least 20 cars repoed for missing payments, which meant 20 angry phone calls he wasn't ready to deal with.

He worked diligently, the garage kept busy with fixing cars and getting them out to their respectable owners, and Hoseok was busy trying to negotiate with angry customers about getting their cars back.

"All you need to do is go to the Repo office off of Dowchien Street and file some paperwork, and pay the fee to get your car back" Hoseok sighed as the old woman cursed him about how she was missing several doctor's appointments and having to take the bus to go to the store. "Ma'am I just take and hold the cars, you need to go to the head office to get it back" Hoseok pressed his knuckles against his skull, rubbing the area as he was cursed out more before the lady finally realized that he wasn't going to give her car back without visiting the office.

"She sounded delightful" Namjoon grinned at Hoseok in the doorway of his office. Hoseok glared up at him, standing and stretching.

"Oh yeah, if you like hearing about irritatable bowel syndrome and bunions needing to be removed" Hoseok shivered and Namjoon laughed. "Put me in a car and on a road any day this day job shit is killing me" He groans.

 "You're the one who wanted to use the shop as a cover Hobi" Namjoon so wisely pointed out. "And you don't hate it either so quit your whining"

"No but I do hate angry people yelling at me for them not making car payments" Hoseok walked past Namjoon and entered the back of the garage. Taehyung and a couple of other employees bustled around repairing different aspects of the cars.

"Hmm if only everyone could see Seoul's Drift King now" Namjoon teases and Hoseok flipped him off as he reached into the mini fridge and pulled out a water bottle, taking a long drink. "So how's your kitty doing?" Namjoon asks

"Okay, I think. She's really jumpy, but she let me dress her hands, does that mean something?"

"Means she trusts you. Took me 3 months before Jimin would be in the same room as me. "

"She still flinches when I touch her though" he frowns

"Can you blame her? I'm not sure she's had a kind touch in awhile. ��Give her time Hobi"

"You're right" Hoseok sighs.  "Do you still have that stuff you used on Jimin's tail?"

"Sure, I always keep some in case his anxiety acts up again. Why?"

"Yeonsoo did a number on Y/n's poor tail, she's missing clumps of fur"

"Asshole." Namjoon mutters darkly. "You should have seen him when you left. He got out of his car and vowed to exact revenge or some site evil villains say in the movies. But I'll bring a bottle over for you"

"Thanks, and I'm not too worried about him. I can handle him" Hoseok says.

"If you say so. We've got a new, ah, 'shipment' coming in on Tuesday, are to ready?"

"Aren't I always?"

Hoseok was relieved when he went home that night. He wondered if you were okay. Sure you've been left home before but it didn't feel right just leaving you to your own devices for the whole day in a new place. He stopped by and grabbed take out, not in the mood to cook anything for dinner. He parked in the garage and grabbed the take out, unlocking the door and entering the house. When he stepped in he sensed immediately something was off. It was too quiet. He frowned, glancing around the dimly lit hallway "Y/n?" He called out, inching into the living room. A creak had him on edge and tense. He grabbed a the baseball bat that leaned against the garage door, gripping it tightly as he entered the living room.

You were standing there, wide eyed and chest heaving with breath. Your fur was fluffed out to the max, and your eyes laid on the baseball bat. You wailed, throwing yourself to the floor in front of his feet and grabbed his legs. Hoseok yelped in shock, staring down at you.

"I'm sorry master I'm so so sorry! I w-was just walking and my tail hit it and it fell over! Please forgive me I know I'm a bad cat" you cried, pawing at his shirt and burying your head into his hip.

W-What? Y/n what are you talking about" he frowned, still confused. Your body wracked with sobs, your words incomprehensible. Hoseok set the take out on the counter and dropped the bat to the floor, the crash making you jump and squeak. He pried your hands from his shirt, and knelt down so you were face to face.  

"Calm down Kitten, just tell me what happened" he says slowly, and you whimpered.

"The vase. I broke it. I'm sorry" you say, cheeks puffy and tear tracks down your face.  Hoseok looks over your head and sees the vase that had been sitting on his TV Stand was smashed on the floor in a thousand pieces.  His eyes widened and he immediately began searching your body.

"Are you hurt? You didn't cut yourself did you?" He asks. You hiccup, frowning

"W-what?"

"Did you cut yourself on the glass?" He demands,  checking for any sign of blood.

"N-no I- you aren't mad?" You sputter, frowning. You were sure you'd face punishment for breaking his possession. You hadn't even been here long and caused an accident, and you thought for sure Hoseok would be angry and throw you out.

"No I'm not mad Y/n" Hoseok sighs in relief. "I'm just happy you aren't hurt."

"But....but I broke your vase" you frown at him.

"To be honest, you saved me a terrible story to explain to my sister why I got rid of the ugly vase she'd gotten me for Christmas. Now I can say my hybrid accidentally knocked it over" he smiles and you frown

"So I'm not being punished?"

"No it was an accident Y/n" Hoseok frowns and you nod your head in understanding. "Are you hungry?'

"A bit" you admit.

"Good. I brought home take out" he says, standing up and grabbing a broom and dustpan before sweeping up the broken vase, careful not to miss any pieces that could imbed themselves into any soft fleshed feet. You watch him as he worked, still slightly expecting to get yelled at, but after a few minutes you relaxed when it appeared it wouldn't come. Hoseok pulled down two plates, piling on steamed rice and chicken and vegetables and a bunch of assorted foods he always got when he ate take out. He pushed the bigger plate towards you, and you eye it doubtfully.

"Why did you give me your plate Hoseok?" You ask, pushing it back to him. Hoseok shakes his head, pushing it back.

"I didn't. It's yours."

But there's more food on it" you frown

"Yes, I'm not too hungry tonight, and I got extra for you"

"All of it?"

"All of it" He says firmly. You nod, still unsure but when you began eating, it was difficult to stop with all the tasty things he had gotten you, but you didn't touch the gross smelling stuff on the side of the plate. Hoseok noticed this, as he ate the very thing you wouldn't. "You don't like Kim Chi?"

"No. It's gross and vile" you say firmly and Hoseok pouted.

"I'm not sure how we'll get along from now on, I love Kim Chi" he says, and affronted look on his face, but a glimmer in his eye showed that he was kidding,  and you giggled.

"I don't know, guess you'll just have to stop then" you smile mischievously at him and he laugh

"I don't think so kitten" he snorts and continues to eat. Oh god, he thinks, I think I can probably handle her.

[justin-chapmanswers]

on a serious note, will we ever see a plot involving Mephone and his own personal issues? I'm mostly asking cuz Mephone's a comfort character for me and I think it'd honestly be interesting to see what might be going on with him

Completely indirect side-answer tangent: back when I was young and had dreams (which I still do, just not on my personal YouTube… and less young), I went through a wide variety of Smash Bros machinima (film via video game) project ideas, and the last project that I got off the ground was called True Deity, which was an adventure fantasy show that was under something of a guise of a reality show. With a prior project of mine surrounding reality show I became more invested in the in-world behind the scenes drama amongst host and executives more-so than what reality shows typically focus on, so that eventually became the premise of True Deity, following a protagonist who is working towards something much greater than the reality show that he is hosting as just a means to his end- while also being able to tell stories through those who compete on the reality show. Spoiler alert for this project that won’t see the light of day: the first season of the show finishes at roughly the same time as the in-world reality show, and then the second season would see something of a genre-switch as the protagonist/show host would venture off with a few of the reality show competitors on a grander action-adventure style mission while the reality show still exists in-world off in the background, after season one doesn’t go according to plan. It remains a character-piece, despite all the moving pieces, because that’s the storytelling style I feel at home with.

True Deity started but didn’t pull through because I put forward to myself that I wouldn’t be able to finish the project with the free time on my hands and decided to wait till maybe one day I can take parts of the story for future projects (IMPORTANT NOTE- would not recommend this mindset, if you can create DO IT, create create create content as frequently as you can, don’t wait, that’s how you become good) and instead focus on the things I could handle right now, such as Inanimate Insanity. Although I can still trace elements of stories I’m interested in telling all the way back to my very initial YouTube series idea from way back when I was in fifth grade, that of course I could go through at some point leading till now. It’s fun taking the most interesting pieces of story ideas and finding a scenario to explore them even better. Plenty True Deity ideas have/will surfaced in Inanimate Insanity and in scripts I’ll write on the side or for school.

Aaaaaaaaall that to say that I am quite fond of telling more personal stories, despite genre, and I do think that a lot of that comes out with Inanimate Insanity. Not to say that there is any current plan for a MePhone specific story, but what I can say is that I would be excited to focus more in on how he landed on his current scenario. That-said, with the limited screen-time we have to tell many stories for a wide variety of characters, we on the writing-staff are well aware by now that not every story we’re interested in can get told. I’m sure come the end a billion years from now I can go over what made the cut and what didn’t more specifically, and that even if we can’t get to these certain topics that they can certainly emerge in future projects. Sometimes vagueness makes the story more interesting, sometimes things are just asking to be explored. We’ve pieced together much of what falls into which category by now. 

I know this is a very very roundabout (and on another matter, late) answer, but saying yes or no would be a spoiler, much like other things. But it did give me the chance to ramble, which is always fun! :D

[c0rpsedemon]

Same anon as bwfore - those are all valid hnoc complaints, i have a soft spot for it since it got me into arthuriana which is now a big special interest (also yk, the thing of making ur own Canon for a media piece in ur head that no one else knows abt)

Appologies for yelling in ur asks abt it, just trying to say I agree

Also sending asks so u can ramble abt ur gripes w hnoc if u wish (no pressure to)

yeah i Used to have the same perspective on it too but as time went on and i developed a stronger aversion to the mechs fandom (everyone say thanks to ts teeth hcs, dr c mischaracterization and any other piece of widely accepted fanon which ppl get weirdly overprotective of) + realized that hnoc Wasn't my actual introduction to arthuriana (shout out to dragon slayer's academy and this niche little vn which i pretended to have read for weeb clout when i was ~12 even though really i had just read the summary of it on a fandom wiki, it was called destiny/leave day or something like that?) an i'd just somehow forgotten about its predecessors + tried to fit my arthurian faves into hnoc-verse and realized that it just Didn't Work and realized just how bad it was in comparison to like. udad. which was soooo good and it just kinda. made me go a little bit insane and tanked my opinion of it. also my growing hatred of a/g/l due to med lit fandom drama (< bizzare series of words that Sure Does Exist) + modern arthuriana like in general probably fanned the flames.

anyways. i said almost everything i have to say about hnoc in the og tags (save for some parts that are less a hnoc issue and more of a discussion of th white/mzb/modern arthuriana in general or a frantic explanation of why it's ok when fate does it but when hnoc does it i'm mad and it's not hypocritical of me (< generally it boils down to 'arthurian lit is incredibly inaccessible to english speakers in 2023, imagine what it would've been like to japanese speakers in 2004, nasu did the best he could, meanwhile the mechs have demonstrated the ability to heavily research their albums and are english speakers who would've had university access (p much the only way to read anything other than le morte or sgatgk legally without breaking the bank) at the time they were working on it')) but i got cut off so i'll add a basic summary of the tags which tumblr couldn't handle bc my arthurian takes r 2 complex and well-thought out for it

basically re: "#and idk it just rings hollow to me for the adaptation which made all/most of its characters either lgbt or poc to have written out p much#all the arthurian characters who were originally poc (palomydes. priamus. ysabelle. feirefiz. isolde of ireland. etc.)" there was a second part of that sentence which also pointed out how almost all the academically/historically substantiated lgbt characters (palomydes, tristan, gawaine, galehaut, lancelot, sebile, morgan, galahad) were cut out or unrecognizable (lancelot and galahad fall under the unrecognizable category).

i also had the character assassination of gawaine as it's own point, as it's just. particularly bad and one of the main reasons why i dislike hnoc, as well as the reason why hnoc's world is so hostile to p much Every other arthurian story bc he's basically the main character of medieval arthuriana and he's now. . obligatory disclaimer that i'm not opposed to gawaine as a villain bc god knows i'm a palomydes stan above all and anyone with a passing interest in the tristan tradition will know that gawaine is a fucking asshole an a horrible person but like. he didn't have to be fucking racist. medieval gawaine is an incredibly complex and deeply deeply flawed character and hnoc boiled that all down to 'racist' which is. one of the few things medieval gawaine is not. and so now all the characters and stories that orbit him are dead in the water bc why would anyone want to read about the cartoon racist.

in general all of the hnoc characters seem like they were written to serve the plot and the co-opted into being the nearest arthurian character. not a single one resembles themself at all. the best example i can think of is galahad (who's actually my fave hnoc character) who just isn't. galahad. medieval galahad is young and has been worshipped and dehumanized all his life, the very reason he was conceived was bc a prophecy said he would be good and pure and would achieve the holy grail, and so he was raised like a holy relic for one purpose and one alone, to the point where, when he finally tries to make a friend in le morte, literal angels intervene to remind him of his purpose, and ultimately he did succeed in that purpose! and when he did he had nothing else to do but end his own life. hnoc galahad is never dehumanized nor worshipped or even liked. hnoc galahad is viewed as a crazy person but a person nonetheless, and hnoc galahad genuinely wants the grail. the two are connected by name alone and it's the same w everyone else. medieval lancelot will always return to guinnevere, and she is the source of both his loyalty and sense of self, and he will destroy anything that poses a threat to her, hnoc lancelot genuinely cares abt camelot and uhm. human life. medieval mordred wasn't actually arthur's son in most texts and kinda just tagged along w his brothers' plans (particularly agravaine's) and ultimately took over camelot bc agravaine was dead and it was the next logical step to take considering all they'd done before, if you want something really interesting mordred-wise the alliterative morte gives him genre awareness but his lamentations of his fate are centered around the uhm. fratricide. and not arthur, hnoc mordred views arthur as his whole world which his Only brother gawaine is comparatively a footnote in, and has motivations which are truly his own. medieval guinn is politically savvy and stuck in a loveless marriage unable to fulfill her one purpose as queen (to have an heir) and thus centers herself around lancelot and his devotion to her to cope, hnoc guinn is a gunslinger. idrc enough abt arthur to analyze him but ultimately it's easy to see that These Are Not The Same Ppl in the way that like. myth orpheus, ulysses, narcissus etc. and udad orpheus, ulysses, narcissus etc. are. even in like. ouat(is) where the characters are Obviously Different People from their fairy tale counterparts, they exist in a form of commentary on their other selves, and the ouat(is) approach to characters is true for the prisoner of dorian gray + frankenstein as well. hnoc has no commentary on the original arthurian characters bc it Doesn't know who they are, the characters in hnoc are meant to be the arthurian characters in a different setting like in udad and tbi (the latter i can't speak on bc i don't norse myth and don't tbi). and it gets them wrong.

tl;dr uhm. the mecha arthurian vn that lives in my head wouldn't do this to me

[lostanddrowned]

Just want to reblog with some of my thoughts, as someone who started watching this show when I was in middle school, is definitely a nerd myself, and a long time Shenny shipper. (and I can rant too sometimes and will accidentally ramble fair warning but I just wanna react to your points)

1. Yes, I myself have qualms with how they mutated Sheldon's character. This happens a lot in sitcoms (take how Joey in friends got more overtly idiotic as that show progressed) where they focus in real hard on One factor. They chose "Sheldon is awkward in this particular way" and pushed it hard. I'm not sure if it's that they wanted to make nerd=virgin jokes, or what but it seemed an odd choice. As an ace myself, I am not sex repulsed. In fact I also, am a semi-pro at taking care of business alone. But it does take me a long time to be comfortable with physical touch from someone else. And sometimes I do flinch/cringe away from certain types of/certain people's attempts at physical touch. But sometimes, when I find someone attractive and also feel I can trust them, I am happy to engage in sexual acts with them. Granted, it sort of falls under the same category as doing the dishes or getting someone a gift but I'm unbothered by the act of coitus. I do wish they had addressed this in a more clear manner with Sheldon rather than painting him as possibly ace but definitely gun-shy about physicality of any type.

2. I super love this part too okay that is all

3. I've always loved how unashamed Sheldon is about his hobbies. I learned to be the same way in my life, and it made everything infinitely better. As someone who went through middle+high school unashamedly loving, even nerdy, things -- this kind of attitude actually reduced the bullying I received. When I wasn't second guessing my own passions and hobbies, the bullies had a much harder time finding something to mock.

4. Yes, he definitely notices she's attractive right away. I like that little detail. Like, the guy may struggle with some social cues and reading emotions but he ain't blind. I can't recall any other specific instances now as it's been a few months since my last Rewatch but I feel like Sheldon openly comments on her beauty more than once.

5. Yeah, Penny frequently doesn't seem to have great self-preservation skills. But in this particular instance, I like to have a little fun with headcannons. Say I was in her place. I'd just moved into a new location, and a lot was going sideways in my life. Then these two, reasonably attractive guys with awkward-yet-harmless vibes show up. The cuter, tall one is very honest and blunt, and the other one is falling all over himself to keep my attention+impress me. I'd probably be fine using their shower because a) sometimes my own self preservation takes a back seat when I feel like my life is in the trash anyways and b) now they're thinking about me naked which is a great tactic if I want to try and capture one of em

6. Okay yes, I loved a lot about this show, but there was plenty I could have done without (or at least would have preferred they played out differently). I don't necessarily mind the way they are portrayed because I can name at least one friend of mine from high school that matches one of the guys, or at least comes close. And while I find my nerdy life very fulfilling, it looks like I'm a loser to normal folks. When I've told someone (who's usually trying to pick me up at bar) what I enjoy and what I do with my time, 8/10 encounters either go poorly for them or end quickly. Most people don't know how to respond to "comicon is my vacation", "oh yeah, I'm working on a new cosplay", "I just binged the first few seasons of Arrow and it's all I have been thinking about", "do you have a costume for the Renaissance festival?", "my next tattoo is going to be from my favorite video games! ", "I just finished collecting the 2013/14 run of superior spiderman and I'm so happy!", "what mtg colors do you main? Edh or standard?"... Usually they look at me like I'm actually an alien they've just encountered and they either exit the convo quickly or, God forbid, try and pretend to know what I'm talking about in hopes of still picking me up. I can usually tell they are full of bs and excuse myself from the convo, or they get trapped listening to me oblivious-ly ramble for 20 minutes about a show/game/franchise they don't even know. I can actually be super oblivious that someone was hitting on me until my friend points it out later. Though sometimes I can literally see their eyes glaze over during convo. So I don't always mind that the boys are shown as losers. It is the popular opinion that nerds are somehow lesser because we are not easy to understand. And yeah, lots of people I've met straight up don't know how to talk to me. Especially when I'm only at the bar because a friend wanted to go out and didn't want to go alone. "you look like you don't want to be here" is not a good starter line, because I'll respond with "yeah, I'd rather be home playing red dead redemption 2 but I also care about my friend" and then the conversation will end there. Frankly, even 2019 and before I didn't go out to do "normal socializing" much at all. Despite all that, tbbt at least normalized, showed different facets of, and put nerdiness into the public eye. When I can explain some of my own quirks by just going "you know Sheldon from big bang? Yeah okay so I have the same [input quirk]" and they will immediately get it, even if they aren't sure how they feel about it.

Oh! And I think Leonard had only one main ex, the north Korean spy that Sheldon mentions. I think Leonard also tried to date Leslie Winkle in the past but it hadn't ever gotten physical. I can't remember if he had expressed interest in Leslie or if he just saw her as an option. While not too clear, it seems like he never dated pre-roomates with Sheldon (multiple comments about how "my college experience wasn't like that" and the Dennis episode where he and the other guys sans Sheldon have mildly traumatic high school flashbacks about getting used by or embarrassed by various girls). With Sheldon, it's never explicitly clear I don't think. He mentions he didn't date/get exposed to sexual things when in college because he was 11. And since then he's just been so focused on his work and passions he doesn't really set aside brain power or time for dating. Additionally, Sheldon is shown to be oblivious to the normal methods of a woman hinting at trying to woo him. Grad students apparently trickle into his life every so often. Some of them are legitimately attracted to him and he doesn't seem to notice. He eventually turns them away and kicks them from his life when they ask to be given credit on his next paper. If a woman walked up to him, and straight up told him "Sheldon, I'm attracted to you and would like to begin a romantic relationship with you" then he'd probably notice, and react. But none of the grad students, or assumably any other woman has said that to him because they don't realize that sometimes you just gotta tell a man like him exactly what you're thinking. Oh and pre-penny, Howard has allegedly had countless hookups but seems to have trouble maintaining a relationship or even getting past second dates or drunken coitus and Raj has had assumably none. Post-penny, even before he discovers drinking=talking, we see him hook up with ladybug while she's drunk at Halloween, but it can be assumed that he never spent much time around drunk girls before Penny brought them into their lives.

Sorry that turned out longer than planned and if anyone does read through this whole thing, cool thanks!

I just rewatched pilot episode and my gosh Penny, Leonard and Sheldon look like babies! (and Penny wasn’t drinking wine all the time to deal with everyone)

Just a few notes (that sometimes turn into rant):

1. Sheldon and Leonard go to high IQ sperm bank. When Sheldon hesitates Leonard says “what, are you kidding, you are semi-pro“ which is strange to hear when Sheldon is established as this almost asexual for a long time but this was one of the first lines on the show.

2. They finally meet.. When Penny gets into the apartment Sheldon’s board immediately catches her eye. For a person with shipper goggles on (like me!) that’s a treat.

Especially when Penny is impressed “So you’re, like, one of those Beautiful Mind genius guys”, Sheldon smiles and lowers his eyes “Yeah”.

3. I love how throughout the seasons (at least the ones I have watched) Sheldon is never ashamed of his interests. That’s made very clear when he explains to Penny what the guys did previously (Klingon stuff) and he doesn’t give a damn what others think because this is his hobby whereas Leonard wants the the ground to open up and swallow him because he feels ashamed. When the show is based on this stereotypical idea about what society considers ‘normal’ hobbies and ‘wrong’ hobbies (and when the ‘normal’ hobbies are presented as only bad aka clubbing=being stupid and then gaming is for smart nerds who are just not accepted by the society… Not simply because they are ‘nice guys’. I just have many feeling about that, one day will talk more about it), I like how he never wavers and just enjoys things that bring him pleasure.

4. Sheldon finds Penny attractive “It has been some time since we’ve had a woman take her clothes off after which we didn’t wanna rip our eyes out.”

5. Ok one thing that’s really weird for me is how Penny decides to take a shower in the guys’ apartment when she just met them. I mean, hello, self-preservation? Maybe it’s just me but would a woman choose to be this vulnerable around guys she JUST met? In a building she just moved in and isn’t fully aware of the surroundings? I would really be interested in hearing what others think about it, maybe you believe it is in character for Penny? It just seems unbelievable to me.

6. So it’s established that guys are nerds, losers, have no social life. And towards the end of the episode Sheldon casually mentions Leonard’s ex. You know what, I’m gonna start counting how many ex girlfriends these guys have had in their before-Penny life.