#this is the first time since 2020 that i've consistently NOT had the urge to fling myself in front of a bus or truck

[mqfx]

my original request was jiang cheng x self insert i guess peishui is going to be background. jiang cheng ardently pines for me as i stare at the heavens with a glint in my eye that could be or mean anything. he feels second best. you comfort him... a fish splashes in a pond nearby...

oh are we going for the imp transmigration cinematic universe? :0

that being said i cannot write jc x other people's self-inserts i have to keep my eyes locked on the prime objective (chenglatan)

[writenaw]

starting august with a good shred!

oh, tumblr, we got lots of things to catch up to. so, long post ahead.

i started my weight loss/ fitness journey late april this year. my initial weight was nearly 60kg/ 130lbs with only a height of 5'2"/ 159cm; now after 3months, i weigh 47.8kg/ 105lbs and with plus half a centimetre in my height. i lost around 25lbs, and i swear i have never felt this kind of fulfillment in my life. now, let me tell you why i started in the first place.

february and july 2020

i was never too fat nor too thin my whole life, it had always been in between and just right. that's before my life went on a ruckus. last october, i went through the deepest trench- stress, depression, problems. binge eating became my getaway. aside from that, last january, i learned i have pcos and it was the very reason why i gained weight fast despite being physically active due to commuting everyday to our univ. i gained a lot of pounds in less than a month. but i never really cared about how my body looked until i received series of body shaming by several people i know. loathing myself, i remember crying by just looking at the mirror.

january and july 2020

january and july 2020

being stuck at home this quarantine made me reflect on myself. i'm not saying i'm thankful of the pandemic, but because of it i had the time to focus on my self-improvement. i accepted myself, this urged me to redeem myself from my downfall. i did exercising everyday with the aid of a fitness program from a mobile app i downloaded (i shifted to youtube after a month), i also did intermittent fasting and a balanced calorie deficit diet, cut out my sugar intake, and skipped fatty oily processed food. finally, i am up to just maintaining my current weight. upon reaching my goal, i can now look back and be proud of what i achieved within myself. that was my weight loss journey, now let's talk about my workout session for today.

anxious for days, i got no will and drive to do my workouts fully. today was the momentum i've been waiting for. surprised bc i am energized to do a workout, i proceeded despite the fact i ate very little for the whole day (just 2 buns of bread and black coffee for my first meal; small amount of cookies for my snack; steeped tea, and 2 boiled eggs for my last).

i had a total of 35 mins of full body workout with weights. it consisted of a 10-min standing ab workout, 15-min full body workout with weights, and 10-min cooldown exercises. it really felt good right after, it's quite a while since i felt this way after a workout. looking forward for more energized shreds this month ♥.

look how happy i am after the workout ♥ now, i'm gotta go get some sleep!!

[omgmicheal01me]

'I've suffered my whole life': Living with borderline personality disorder

Updated July 29, 2018 09:47:11

Photo: Victoria Houlder says living with borderline personality disorder for decades was debilitating. (ABC News: Chloe Hart) Borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be a debilitating mental illness. Sufferers can endure substance abuse, bouts of extreme anger, and urges to steal and live dangerously. But thanks to a new collaborative approach to treating personality disorders, help is more accessible to patients and families. Victoria Houlder, 45, has been plagued by BPD for most of her life. "You steal things that you obviously don't need, you have no patience, you can fly off the handle and just lose it," Ms Houlder said. "People think 'What is your problem?' but it's lack of control you aren't able to control that raging temper." Ms Houlder said she had been sexually abused as a child and struggled for decades with depression, but it was not until her recent BPD diagnosis that her mind and behaviours started to make sense. "I've suffered my whole life. BPD is a debilitating condition; it gives you a different outlook on what is and isn't socially acceptable behaviour," she said. What is a personality disorder? If you or anyone you know needs help: A person may be diagnosed with a personality disorder if they exhibit pathological personality traits, behaviours and thoughts that consistently impair their functioning and deviate from societal expectations. There are 10 different personality disorders recognised by the recent edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). These include BPD, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), antisocial personality disorder (APD), along with paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal, histrionic, avoidant, dependent, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorders. Despite seeing several psychiatrists and trying a raft of medications, nothing helped Ms Houlder and people lost patience with her, which ultimately meant she lost contact with her children and her friends. "People don't understand why you aren't getting better from mental illness when you are seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication. But medication doesn't fix it [a personality disorder]," she said. BPD makes it hard for a person to feel comfortable in their own skin and mind, which creates challenges around being able to control emotions, impulses and relating to others. "You don't make great choices," Ms Houlder said. "With friends or situations, you allow things to happen to you that is not normal but may seem normal to you." Help is out there External Link:Stephanie shares her story of living with depression and a personality disorder. A collaborative project based in Wollongong on the south coast of New South Wales has been offering a different approach to supporting people living with personality disorders. Project Air was developed by the University of Wollongong in partnership with the NSW Department of Health and NSW Local Health Districts. The project has been running since 2011, providing tailored treatment and support for patients, families and carers, as well as ongoing training for schools, health services, clinicians and support agencies. Through upskilling, consultation and research, Project Air is assisting to provide better treatments for personality disorders and more streamlined pathways to provide people living with a personality disorder with the help they need. "One in four mental health patients that present at hospital have a personality disorder, so every hospital needs a specific place for those people and a counsellor to talk to," Project Air founder Brin Grenyer said. "Hospital care is more appropriate for people with schizophrenia, so this provides an alternative and a better way of helping people with personality disorders get the treatment that they need. "We've often found that people [with personality disorders] don't respond well to medication, to in-patient units, to emergency departments psychological therapy and compassionate care is the best." Program expanding to help more people The NSW Government has allocated an additional $5.5 million to expand Project Air to additional NSW health districts by 2020 including the Nepean Blue Mountains, Southern NSW, Murrumbidgee and Hunter New England districts. "It's giving hope to people who often feel they go in and out of hospital, not getting well," Mental Health Minister Tanya Davis said. "We've seen people get their lives back on track, commence study again [and] re-build broken family relationships. It is having a significant impact," she said. Professor Grenyer said when people got the right help, they did not need to keep coming back to emergency departments or stay in hospital. He said early intervention was key to better outcomes, so the program worked with schools, workplaces and hospitals to recognise and treat personality disorders early. Ms Davis said the amount of time patients with personality disorders spent in hospital since the program began had reduced from 14 days to five days and presentations to hospital were down by 22 per cent. The road to recovery Emma Reeves came to Project Air struggling with major depressive episodes and was diagnosed with BPD. "I've always had very, very strong emotions and difficulty controlling them," Ms Reeves said. "I'd randomly lose my temper, [was] always highly stressed and [had] high levels of anger."

Photo: Emma Reeves, 30, says Project Air has given her a new lease on life after years trying to cope with borderline personality disorder. (ABC News: Chloe Hart) Ms Reeves said during a major life event she reached her breaking point. "My mother passed away [and] I was losing my grip on reality and how to control my grief." Ms Reeves said from a young age she began using food as a coping mechanism to handle her emotions. "I would eat to cope. When I was angry I'd eat, if I was sad I'd eat," she said. When she reached 190 kilograms Ms Reeves had surgery, which resulted in her losing more than a third of her body weight, but her mental health continued to spiral out of control and she sought help from Project Air. "It really has helped me. Some people think going to a psychologist means you only go there and talk. It's not like that," she said. "Coming here for therapy has pulled me out of some very dark places when I've been at my lowest points." Ms Reeves said she was thrilled that "finally" at 30 years old she was feeling well enough to get out and experience life to the fullest. "There's a voice in the back of my head that says, 'It's about bloody time'." Professor Grenyer said people with personality disorders were often misunderstood in society, but there was hope. "Given the right care, people with personality disorders can be treated and live really productive lives," he said. With the NSW expansion of Project Air, the team behind the project said it would continue to be able to support people with personality disorders and see good clinical care for the disorders established in NSW health services. Topics:mental-health,doctors-and-medical-professionals,medical-research,suicide,eating-disorders,adolescent-health,psychology,family,wollongong-2500,yass-2582,queanbeyan-2620,pambula-2549,moruya-2537,goulburn-2580,delegate-2633,crookwell-2583,cooma-2630,wingham-2429,werris-creek-2341,wee-waa-2388,warialda-2402,walcha-2354,tingha-2369,tenterfield-2372,taree-2430,tamworth-2340,singleton-2330,scone-2337,quirindi-2343,nelson-bay-2315,narrabri-2390,murrurundi-2338,moree-2400,merriwa-2329,manilla-2346,maitland-2320,new-lambton-heights-2305,kurri-kurri-2327,inverell-2360,guyra-2365,gunnedah-2380,gloucester-2422,glen-innes-2370,emmaville-2371,dungog-2420,denman-2328,cessnock-2325,bulahdelah-2423,boggabri-2382,braidwood-2622,bingara-2404,belmont-2280,barraba-2347,armidale-2350,bombala-2632,bega-2550,batemans-bay-2536,portland-2847,albury-2640,tumbarumba-2653,batlow-2730,adelong-2729,tumut-2720,gundagai-2722,harden-2587,boorowa-2586,wyalong-2671,temora-2666,cootamundra-2590,coolamon-2701,henty-2658,holbrook-2644,culcairn-2660,corowa-2646,berrigan-2712,urana-2645,lockhart-2656,narrandera-2700,leeton-2705,jerilderie-2716,finley-2713,tocumwal-2714,deniliquin-2710,barham-2732,hay-2711,sydney-2000,hillston-2675,lake-cargelligo-2672,young-2594,murrumburrah-2587,university-of-wollongong-2522,keiraville-2500,lithgow-2790,springwood-2777,kingswood-2747,windsor-2756,katoomba-2780,wagga-wagga-2650,newcastle-2300,penrith-2750,griffith-2680 First posted July 29, 2018 06:30:55 http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-07-29/inside-the-mind-of-someone-with-borderline-personality-disorder/10044920