#this is so far disconnected from my original point and what i said that i struggled to figure out what this was even about

[flightyalrighty]

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT CH 1 PG 36

Infested will return on June 27th. --- Thank you to the following Ascended supporters: @chaogongoozles, @fiiresiidefrfr, @elizard4227, @grogar, Ezzoh, @susivoi, @calculuscacophony, Eros, @ivycorp, @summersdale @borrelia, @mizukiz, @sanicdetails, @combinegrunt-echo-1, Pica, @veeceear, @quackenburt, ItsmeMonarch, @memendoemori, @trans-girl-sonic, & savarsenic

Content Warnings | Store | Ko-Fi (Discord!) | Read On Comic Fury! DISCLAIMER: "Infested" is a horror comic ft. content not suitable for those under the age of 17.

A long-winded looking back on things below the cut:

The first few pages of Infested were uploaded to this blog on March 2nd, 2023 -- Over a whole year ago! I was so busy, too, that I completely missed its birthday (Sorry Infested). Looking even further back than that, the original story was was something I began writing on December 25th, 2022 (Merry Christmas).

It took two years to get to this point.

And hey, not to toot my own horn about it, but completing even one chapter of a webcomic is a big deal. Especially for me. My first webcomic, Fight/Flight, didn't get very far. I completed the prologue, started Chapter 1, and then had to drop it for a number of reasons (I didn't really agree with what baby-me had to say, politically, anymore).

This comic was born from a lot of intense feelings. The story, itself, too. Some good. Some bad.

I had been forced to move away from my hometown, and with that move, I lost the physical connection that I had to all of my friends. I lost the familiarity of a place I'd known for most of my life. I'm now stuck somewhere... Worse. It felt like a cage. Still does. Disconnected from the life I thought I would be living after college. I didn't have health insurance, either -- Got kicked off of it because of the move -- And as a result, I was off my antidepressants.

So there I was, at a pretty low point in my life. I miserable and lonely and every single day dragged on. And on. And on. And I felt so disappointed in myself. That disappointment became self-loathing, and it all kinda spiraled.

Have I mentioned that I'm a huge Sonic fan? I don't think I need to. I'd say it's pretty obvious. But for the sake of this story, I'll say it again: I'm a HUGE Sonic fan. I've been that way since 2003 with Sonic Heroes. The franchise has been in my life for over two decades. I had a monthly mail subscription to Archie's Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic the Hedgehog was something that I truly loved more than any other piece of media. It brought me endless joy. Until I didn't.

I had dropped Sonic after Lost World was... Itself. I had already felt pretty irritated with the Meta Era, and Lost World was the final straw. The last bit of hope that the series could recover was snuffed out when Forces was released. It was over. I was done. If Sonic was truly that embarrassed by itself, if they had truly lost touch with what made the series so great, then I wouldn't waste my time any longer. I was so sure that I had to just... Grieve and move on. My beloved childhood game series was dead. Long live the king or whatever. I'd just bitterly read IDW Sonic and think about what could've been. I was lucky to have that comic, at least. Archie had been canceled, too, after all. I was lucky to have my scraps.

Then Sonic Frontiers came out. And it changed everything.

And my god, it was everything. It was everything to me. Flaws be damned, it was everything. To. Me. The spectacle. The serious tone. The vastly improved writing. Kellin Fucking Quinn. It was FUN! It was actually FUN to PLAY. He was back. I was back. Sonic pulled me by my hand out of the ocean of misery I'd fallen into, and he looked me in my eye and he said;

"Hey. You're gonna be alright."

Metaphorically speaking. Sonic The Hedgehog didn't actually literally speak to me -- And sure, okay, maybe it's a little dramatic to describe a game as this great Depression Annihilator but I'm dead serious when I say that, for that time, before I was able to get back on my meds, I was self-medicating with Sonic.

Sonic was all I was thinking about. I reread the Unleashed arc in Archie Sonic, which got me sorta realizing something, and which led to my post where I said something along the lines of "Sonic would hide a zombie bite."

Archie Sonic would, at least. Because he basically did do that in the Unleashed arc of that comic. He let that problem fester until it became an even bigger problem because, ironically, he didn't want to be a problem.

So one thing led to another. I thought more about Sonic becoming a zombie. Bada-bing, bada-boom, Infested was born.

I didn't expect it to get the attention that it did. I felt lucky when the first page I drew Rouge on (Page 6 I think?) blew up. The right people saw it at the right time. I'm extremely grateful for that.

I'm extremely grateful for all of you.

So yeah, one chapter. Woo! Here's to many more.

[moth-the-man]

But the argument is that it's preventable and a direct affect from overworking your employees due to unnecessary crunch time. Not enough employees + excessive workload for said employees = burn out and shitty game quality. Those bugs aren't accidental. It's a product of human beings being worked to the bone and delivering sub par work due to lack of proper compensation and treament by their corporation and the gamefreak administration.

It's not just a silly little quirk this is employee abuse.

... is this about how I said people need to calm down about glitches in the new pokemon because that used to be the best part of bethesda games? You know I don't make the video games, right?

[utilitycaster]

I'm glad to see you mentioning how disconnected the PCs are from Marquet! I'm a little surprised that I haven't seen more discussion of this in the fandom at large (although maybe I'm looking in the wrong places), since it was a point of discussion at the very beginning of the campaign in a couple of private PoC tabletop/LARP groups I was in. The consensus in the aforementioned groups at the time was that maybe the cast didn't feel comfortable representing characters coming from cultures that were explicitly based on real world PoC cultures (but the decision to have almost everyone be an "outsider" in a PoC-coded culture had unfortunate Orientalist overtones). This was very, very early campaign (like e10 maybe), though, before we really knew the trajectory of the plot (or that they'd spend so little time in Marquet).

It definitely came up a lot early on and I think a lot of the people who felt this either left Campaign 3 quite early and said "this isn't working for me" or else said, as I did, that it is what it is.

I think my issue here is that like...Imogen and Dorian are the only Marquet-born characters and while I have complicated feelings about how people see Imogen (see my previous comments about the bizarre bordering on creepy glorification of a very white-coded Southern culture that have spread into like...white anglophone but not United States portions of the fandom) she and Dorian are both very much coded to North American cultures (Imogen, accent aside, honestly fits any rural agrarian portion of the country and honestly reads closer to the great plains than the south, and Dorian is influenced by Native American culture). I actually do think that Taliesin did a good job making Ashton feel like they were part of Bassuras (and they aren't from there originally, but did grow up there culturally), but the fact is I've seen multiple people ignore that "Bassuras" is specifically taken from Tagalog (and that Makenzie de Armas was one of the Marquet designers) and hc it as Central American rather than Filipino despite Matt explicitly saying it's the latter.

I do think that the answer, if the cast was not comfortable playing Marquesian characters (and I am not a POC so take this with that grain of salt, but I also think, with some effort and some sensitivity work, they could have done so, particularly since Marquet is inspired by but not one to one), the answer should have been to either be clearer this wouldn't be centered in Marquet and would simply start there which would have lowered those expectations and to perhaps plan an EXU in Marquet that does primarily star actors who are from north Africa, or western, southern, or southeast Asia; or just set the campaign in Issylra or something. I get that Marquet is more central and cosmopolitan than Issylra by far, but we're now in an awkward position where we might have a campaign set mostly in Fake North America; a campaign set virtually entirely in Fake Europe/debatably central/northeast Asia; and a campaign that was ostensibly set in Fake SWANA/SEAsia but really was mostly about the moon. Like, the cast doing a thoughtful but perhaps imperfect go at Marquesian characters would have, at least in my opinion, been preferable.

If it helps I think the way Matt and the worldbuilders describe Marquet it doesn't feel (to me) overly orientalist and the fandom has definitely had way more "do you see this shit Edward Said" moments than the cast, despite the fact that only half the characters had spent significant time in Marquet. Really, the narrative issue is "the characters don't feel tied to this place or invested in the same way in this plot because the plot isn't tied to this place", and the unfortunate overtones come from the fact that it was the Ostensible Marquet Campaign that got the plot that's not really about Marquet.

(as someone running Netherdeep - I will say that helps. The bulk of that story is in a lovingly and sensitively reworked Ank'Harel. I'm hoping TLOVM also does a better job than C1 with Ank'Harel.)

[antyoneelse]

(Screaming about Beetlejuice Beetlejuice into the void):

Even if Beetlejuice Beetlejuice has a lot of problems with it, I can’t say I disliked it. I mean, I saw it five times— maybe my fixation goggles are on too tight, but I enjoyed it for what it was even if the original movie (and cartoon!!) are leagues above it. Here are my thoughts (mostly about the characters and their stories).

I was very dissapointed with Delores’ story, as a lot of people are. I wasn’t super interested in her from the start, and that makes me seriously dislike her overall… but if she were actually given more screentime, more plot relevance, and a bigger part of the climax, I am sure she would have been amazing.

I thought Astrid was a brat, and I do love her, but fleshing out her motivations better would’ve been, y’know, a Helluva lot better for the story. This goes in line with Richard— we don’t see him until halfway through the movie (unless you count the few seconds of him in pictures), and maybe I’m dense but that really disconnected me from him as a character and plot point. His only use is to create and then fix the drama between Astrid and Lydia. His character design is really awesome though.

Jeremy Frasier, I don’t really know what to say about him. I liked his introduction but I feel like his plot with Astrid was the most normal in the whole movie, and took away the original Beetlejuice vibe so thoroughly, it was disappointing. Really disconnected from everything else, and just kind of solved through Beetlejuice in a useless, albeit funny, way. I don’t know, he drives the plot forward by making Lyds interact with Beej and keep the family in Winter River, but I don’t especially like him.

I actually liked what Rory added to the story, though I feel like it messed up Lydia’s characterization a lot. I guess since most of the exposition for Lydia’s life since the events of Beetlejuice 1988 were told verbally, we missed out on a lot of what makes adult Lydia who she is… who is very different from the generally strong, moody, but troubled kid she is in the original. Now that I’m thinking about it, it really felt like I was just looking at Winona Ryder in goth clothing. I love her, but it didn’t feel the same. Rory was a dumb jerk, but I love hating dumb jerk characters.

Beetlejuice himself was probably my favorite part of the movie, though he was less strange and unusual than he was in the original. Fun visual gags with him, he’s still witty, Keaton is in his 70’s and still playing him and that itself I think deserves some praise.

Also, Delia was flawless, I don’t know whatever else to say about her. I love Delia no matter what lmao, only one who made me consistently laugh throughout the movie. Catherine O’Hara rocks.

I think the biggest issue I have with the movie is how reliant it is on verbal exposition, since we’ve missed years of the characters’ lives. It makes some things not make sense on the first watch-through, and frustrating on consequent ones, and messes up character believability to a really sad extent.

All this being said, I still really love the movie. Maybe when my fixation wanes I’ll have more mixed feelings, but I still appreciate it for being the catalyst that got me involved in the fandom, and I still think it’s really fun to watch.

If you read this far, thanks! I am very mentally focused on Beetlejuice right now, and would love to be friends if you are, as well. Having conversations about the plot (be it movie, both movies, musical, cartoon, or hypothetical plots) would be really awesome.

P.S. I do NOT fw the Beetlejuice baby I am throwing that thing in a meat locker and leaving it there. I hate it.

[dailydemonspotlight]

The God you cravenly revere is dead...

DAY 100

Race: Tyrant

Arcana: Devil

Alignment: Dark-CHAOS

The prince of darkness needs no introduction. The Morning Star, the Devil, the Fallen Angel who brought about so much to our demon-focused blog. Sure, I may be jumping the gun a bit by covering him only on day 100, but given that his closest compatriot, Beelzebub, was covered on day 50, I feel it's warranted. Lucifer is iconic to the SMT series, a legendary figure who serves a major role in many games in the series, being the perfect representative of one of the three major alignments: Chaos. In most games throughout the series, Lucifer plays a part, even in ones disconnected from mainline- if there is chaos, there will be the dying light of the morning star. Even in Persona, a series mostly concerned with Jungian psychology, Lucifer commonly appears as a late-game persona, and even a form of him in Satanael is the final form of Joker's persona in Persona 5, being a representation of freedom and rebellion- after all, what else is more rebellious and free than rebelling against God himself?

I digress, however. Lucifer is as important to SMT as he is to Biblical history itself, after all, and this is a blog about the stories of demons, right? Lucifer himself is a major character in the Bible, appearing for certain first in the Book of Isaiah, though his overall relevance spreads beyond that. Even in the Book of Genesis, the very first story in the Bible, it's believed that the serpent that tricked Eve into eating the apple of knowledge was Lucifer, cast down from heaven. This interpretation is supported by Paradise Lost, a story I'll likely be referencing a lot here, but its importance to Lucifer and his interpretations throughout not just SMT, but history itself, cannot go understated.

The Devil's conniving ways are depicted throughout the bible in several verses, especially in the New Testament, wherein he's seen as a figure analogous to the Buddhist demon Mara, a being tempting humanity away from their rightful path of sin/good karma to partake in their desire. However, this isn't to spell a connection between the two, as Lucifer himself is given a far different story than Mara, as he is with many other tempters in religion, even including some other biblical figures such as Mastema. Instead, what we should be focusing on is Lucifer's existence as a fallen angel.

Lucifer's existence in the Bible is strange, as the name Lucifer is a translation from the original Latin Helel, meaning 'Light-bearer.' His first reference in one of the most prevalent translations of the Bible, the King James Bible, goes as follows:

How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.

This immediately points to Lucifer being an angel who fell for his own hype, so to speak- one who believed himself to be as strong, if not stronger than God, which led to him being cut down by the forces of Heaven. However, in Paradise Lost, it's shown that Lucifer was more than just vain- he held a rebellion, and when it fell, and he fell with it, he became Satan. I know, that's strange, but it's not really canon to the SMT interpretations of both characters- it just helps to shape Lucifer's characterization in the series as a rebellious figure who stood even against God himself. Strangely, adding on to this odd maze of interpretation, Lucifer was also commonly interpreted as the king of Babylon, the famously sinful city of evil described in the Bible. What I think all of this adds to is less a solid character of his and rather a general interpretation and idea that surrounds Lucifer- that of him being the embodiment of rebellion, chaos, and standing against the mold of society in order to partake in sin. There's a reason that his deadly sin, after all, is one of the most dangerous- that being Pride.

Lucifer's role in the Bible is strange, however, and many interpretations differ completely, whether they be him as Satan, him as the Devil, or even him as a tragic hero. However, as for SMT's purposes, it takes a very unique take, combining several aspects from several interpretations to make the Morning Star into a perfect prince of darkness. For one, it pulls a lot from Paradise Lost, giving Lucifer the role of a rebellious figure who rules over scores of demons, though it separates him from Satan in opposition to the poem. His sin of pride is intact, as he's shown to be a very individualistic figure throughout, valuing freedom and one's own strength above all else, tying very well into the purveying themes of individualism and might-makes-right that are constant in the Chaos ideology.

In terms of design, what is there really to say? Lucifer's design is utterly iconic- the six split wings, the gorgeous plays on the angelic aspects of his character, the great horns reaching sky-high, there's a reason so many were disappointed with his weird redesign in IV. Like, what were they doing? I get that he was meant to look offputting, but turning him into a skinhead was not the right way to go about it- well, whatever. Every design of Lucifer throughout the series has its merits, and I love how several games even have different human disguises for him- my personal favorite has to be Louis Cyphre, but I adore how each human disguise including Louis plays on the traditionally angelic traits of pale skin and blonde hair, though twists that on its head due to him commonly wearing all black.

Thank you all for tagging along with this series, and it is so ridiculously lucky that day 100 was placed perfectly on my birthday. There's gonna be more, for sure, coming soon, don't worry- but for now, I love you all, and goodnight. Or good morning. Whichever works.

You didn't even mention his role in Gnosticism!

Jack, I'm not touching on Gnosticism with a ten foot pole for the time being. I don't even know what's going with that half the time. Wait for the Demiurge analysis.

Coward.

[gemsofgreece]

RE: the Anon about bad Greek representation in the game Hades 2

Hello, I answered your ask last night however I was soon notified that the link you added came from a YouTuber who, apart from the incidental valid points made in this particular video, has altogether different motives and beliefs than the ones I wish this blog to be associated with. So I deleted the ask with the link but I am giving you my original answer regarding problematic Greek representation intact. Besides, this video does not analyze why such representation in the context of Greek mythology and identity is questionable but rather disregards diversity in media just for the sake of it. So any person interested in Greek matters won’t learn much from watching it.

Like I said the basis of his points in this video makes sense. However, I don't know, I feel like all this discourse regarding the poor, agenda driven Greek representation and the appropriation of the mythology drains me and for no good reason.

Unfortunately, I have realised that the people who support such questionable treatment of the Greek cultural heritage among other things, supposedly for the sake of the greater good of inclusivity and diversity, are absolutely not open to feedback and other opinions and appear unable to entertain the possibility that they have chosen toxic, problematic and - above all - counterproductive ways to support those very important values. The same exact thing is happening with companies - say Netflix and Disney - which are left scratching their heads about what is going wrong and all their new projects are bombing so bad. It is funny how so many people around the world consider the answer obvious but the companies are still having crisis meetings to solve the impossible challenge.

There are several reasons I do not bother much with it. First of all, all this discourse and the urgency for a diverse Dodecatheon is an exclusively American concern through and through. People from Africa, Asia and South America resolutely couldn't care less and I have read in several comments that many people feel weird about how North Americans and a few West Europeans act regarding those matters. I feel disconnected from all these people both in terms of age and interests and as a Greek I also feel entirely disconnected from all these "Greek inspired" products. We all know very well that there's nothing Greek about the Hades videogame, the LO comic, Percy Jackson, Kratos and so on. Literally nothing whatsoever.

The most annoying thing about it is that these people genuinely think they "know" Greek culture. But honestly I think at some point soon they will grow out of it. Most of them are really young and act young about it, you know? At some point the companies also will either shut down or change tactics and content. Because the "piss on" trend of course doesn't affect only the Greek culture but many other fields, i.e European history, classic literature, traditional fairytales, Norse mythology etc

Because this world operates so much on money, simply not giving something your money is your most effective way to voice your opinion. Don't pay for that movie or that game or that book. And maybe leave a review phrased in the manner of constructive criticism, not an aggressive attack, because this leaves you vulnerable in front of these ahistorical people who call every mere different perspective as "fascism" (the irony XD).

I am always far more alarmed by actual historical revisionism, especially the one that is happening around us, in places next to us, waaaay more than I care about a random teen in the other side of the globe who wants an Asian Hestia girlboss or else they can't sleep easy at night. You have to realise that such a person doesn't truly think this is how a Greek is supposed to or usually looks like. Such a person actually doesn't give a shit about the Greek look or anything Greek at all. All they care is what the videogame they play looks like and how much the designers agree with them or include features they have. The fact that the character comes from Greece is entirely irrelevant and incidental. They do not care. So I now feel it's a lost cause to even try to discuss this with them. Judging from comments I have read, they downright don't understand and they are visibly unwilling to understand what we say.

And I am always way more irritated by the double standards with which the Greek civilization is studied , the very real discriminations against Modern Greeks, the toxic levels of academic classicism, the historical appropriation in the West and in the Balkans for different reasons and above all else the amazing inability of our nation to care, address the problem and at least attempt to protect our identity with dignity and confidence. Compared to these, all the whims of fanfiction readers and videogame players just pale to me. I do react some times but it's not a regular thing.

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Words: 4,162 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: S10/S11, The Reapers Warnings: language, mentions of injury A/N: This is part of a series! You can find the rest on my Master List, the pinned post on my blog.

Summary: Injured and scattered, the group tries to find each other.

Your name: submit What is this?

Daryl,

Our son is two years old today. You wouldn’t believe how much he’s changed in only the last few months. It used to be that you could only make out baby babble with a few words here and there, and now he’s stringing together full sentences, expressing his own original thoughts. He looks less like a toddler every day and more and more like a little kid, soon to be asking questions about the world that will be harder and harder for me to answer. He reminds me of you in so many ways and I hold onto this part of you extra tight. When I think of how much you’ve missed of his little life, of all the milestones we’ve already passed, every part of me aches, and to know he’s missed out on having you too... that hurts even worse. I know you would be the most amazing dad. You love as fiercely as anyone could.

When I think of you at all, it nearly stops me to a grinding halt, could bring me to my knees, the pain is still that sharp. If we never find each other again, I think I’ll walk around forever with this poignant sense of something profound missing. It’s hard to write this, but if it wasn’t for DJ, I may have given up by now… But if I know anything, it’s that you’re out there somewhere, still alive, still surviving, still protecting the people you love. I know that beyond any doubt, because that’s who you are. I just hope that in our continued wandering that we find some sign of you. I don’t know what it would be—but Jen keeps telling me not to give up hope, to trust that my intuition is right.

I’m not having that dream anymore—the one I wrote about before where you’re calling for me from the other side of the glass—but lately I’ve been having a new one. I find you again, out in the woods, wandering, and then the next moment you’ve vanished. It’s almost worse than the last dream, because I think I have you and then a moment later I lose you all over again. It feels so unbelievably real. I wake up completely gutted with my cheeks wet. I have to reach for DJ every time.

God, I miss you.

It’s hitting me hard today, on DJ’s birthday. I hope you’re safe wherever you are…

With love, Y/N Daryl was mentally running through the parts of your book he’d already read, and wishing he’d made the time to read more, but he was also thanking himself for not bringing it along. He was certain The Reapers had gone through his pack. He didn’t know what would have happened if Leah had found it… She’d know he’d found you again and then all of this—his pretended disconnection from “those people on the road” and the implied feelings he was manufacturing for her—it wouldn’t have been available for him to try to keep his family and Alexandria safe.

His hand strayed to the left breast of his vest and he could feel the stiffness of the picture in the lining. It was comforting. He hadn’t slept. He was too afraid to. His mind was too busy. He laid on his back on a cot, far off in a corner, and waited.

It had to be near first light when he heard bootsteps coming up the hallway outside. He turned his ear toward the sound, listening intently for anything else that could signal what was happening.

Carver showed up in the doorway. “Get up, dickhead,” he spat. “We’re moving on that info.”

_ _ _ _ _ _

A hand on your shoulder shook you awake and you startled at the sudden jolt.

“Easy.” Negan’s voice. His hazel eyes were looking right into yours beneath his raised eyebrows. The point of your blade was at his throat.

You let out the breath you’d been holding and lowered it.

Negan was in front of you, palms out. He relaxed as your knife left his neck. “I’m a little worried that reflex isn’t going to stop short one of these times,” he said.

You shifted so you could better sit up against the back of the dingy armchair. “Then stop surprising me,” you said. You winced as you moved and couldn’t help drawing in a sharp hiss of breath between your teeth. Your side, the knife wound from The Reapers, felt like it was on fire. “Fuck…” you murmured, shifting to attempt to relieve the worst of the pain to little success.

Negan’s brow furrowed. “How ya feelin’?” You thought you could hear genuine concern in his voice.

You shook your head. “Not at my best, but I’ve had worse,” you said.

He went on frowning at you. He swept a hand back over his short hair. “I don’t doubt it but, uhh, no offense… you look like shit. I don’t think the whole pale, graying skin thing suits you at all. I woke you up because I was starting to get a little paranoid that you might not wake up.”

You rolled your eyes. “Stop being so dramatic,” you scolded him.

Negan gave you a small tight smile despite the situation. “Can’t. Drama. Theater… It’s kind of my thing,” he retorted. He watched as you pulled your shirt up to look at the wound on your side. The surrounding area and the wound itself were an angry shade of red.

Negan saw it. “Well, fuck. That doesn’t look good.”

You closed your eyes for a moment and leaned back against the chair. You’d flushed the stab wound out as best you could and applied ointment but it didn’t seem to have been enough. “No shit,” you said. “Any other earth-shattering observations you want to hit me with?”

Negan let out a dry laugh and straightened up, grabbing his crowbar from where it was leaning against a dusty couch and swinging it absently. “You know, I am actually trying to help you here. You see anybody else around?”

You sighed. “Right. Right… Sorry. Just—this whole situation is—”

“Complete and utter-fucked, five ways ‘til Friday bullshit?” Negan finished for you.

You gave him a long look but eventually nodded. “Yeah.” You pulled your shirt up again and looked at the neatly stitched wound. Negan had helped you with that the night before, and you had to hand it to him that he’d done a good job. “It’s a local infection or the start of one,” you said softly. You paused to think. You had limited medical supplies left and had used the last of the antibacterial ointment the night before patching up your side and Negan’s leg.

“Alright, so, can we kick its ass before it becomes un-local? From what I hear, that’s something to avoid, what with the lack of hospitals and meds these days.”

You chewed anxiously on your bottom lip. The burning and pulse you could feel in your whole side made it hard to think. “Hopefully…”

He stared at you for a long moment, his expression darkening like a cloud passing across the face of the moon. “You have a fever?” he asked, and you heard some apprehension in his voice.

You shook your head. “I don’t think so.” You mopped at the cold sweat on your brow even as you answered, but you were pretty sure that was just from the pain.

Negan cleared his throat and stepped closer hesitantly. “Can I check without you slitting my throat?” he asked. “I’ve actually already had that done, courtesy of Rick, and it isn’t something I’d like to repeat.”

“Fine.”

He bent his tall frame and put the back of his hand on your forehead. He shook his head and let out a hugely relieved sigh. “No. No, I think you’re good.” You gave him a questioning look. “I had the thought that maybe they’d coated their blades… so that anyone that didn’t die right away would go full-blown undead asshole.”

You fixed a steely stare on him. “Oh, you mean like you did. To the Hilltop.”

Negan gulped and his face fell. His eyes turned down to the floor. “Maggie told you about that, huh?” he said softly.

“Mhm…”

“Yeah. That was pretty fucked up.” He was still avoiding your eyes. “But it was effective...”

“Negan—” you started angrily.

“Hey, I’m just stating a fact! And to be fair, it was a fucking war! I was looking after my own the same way—” he broke off abruptly at the look on your face.

You shook your head. “No. Not the same way I do. Not the same way they were. Not even close.”

“So, you’re telling me that you’ve never done anything royally fucked up to keep yourself or people you care about alive? Hmm? Doll,” he said, swinging his crowbar up onto his shoulder, a smirk on his face, “I ain’t buyin’ it.”

You scowled at him. “Don’t call me ‘doll.’ In fact, let’s just table any more nicknames you’ve got floating around in your head. And let’s get one thing straight, Negan. You didn’t care about those people at The Sanctuary. You gave them barely enough to stay alive and it wasn’t even a life. The only person you actually gave a shit about was yourself. And have I done fucked up shit? Yeah. Plenty. To keep me and my son alive… not to set myself up as some sort of wannabe god to assuage my bloated ego,” you spat at him, wincing and putting a hand over your side again and shutting your eyes.

There was a tense pause and then Negan rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and another small laugh escaped him. “I can’t really argue with most of that. You’re right. And I see that Maggie and Daryl have been pretty thorough in catching you up already.” He sighed and sank back down on the wooden chair across the room from you. “But none of that shit matters right now. So, what do we do about your tidy little ticking time bomb there? You have any more of that—”

“No, we used almost everything up last night,” you interrupted him.

Negan laughed humorously. “Now let me make something clear here; you’ve gotta be okay,” he said emphatically. “If something happens to you while you’re with me, Daryl will fucking murder me. That is not an exaggeration. No, he won’t just murder me—he’d probably carve off little pieces slowly. He isn’t gonna hear that it wasn’t my fault. So, for your health and mine,” Negan said, fiddling with the crowbar across his knees, “we’ve got to figure this out. So, what do I need to do? You obviously can’t go anywhere fast at the moment, which is really what we need.”

Your ground your teeth together and Negan saw the muscle in your jaw tense. “You’re going to have to find me some moss and get us some water and fuel for a fire.” Negan stared at you blankly.

“Sorry, did you say fucking moss?”

You nodded. “Yeah. A specific kind. I’m gonna tell you where it grows and what it looks like.” You pulled your pack closer and dug around inside it until you pulled out a small cloth bag and held it out to him.

“Is now the right time for a scavenger hunt?” he asked, but he got up and accepted the bag from you.

“A lot of mosses have antimicrobial properties that should fight the infection and—look, just do what I’m fucking asking, okay? Or I can go myself. Like I said, I’ve had worse,” you started getting out of the chair, pushing yourself up on the arms but the pain in your side seemed to ricochet through the rest of your abdomen and chest and you quickly froze, only partially standing.

“Whoa!” Negan grabbed your upper arm and helped you lower back down into the seat. His leg didn’t feel great, but it was definitely better than your side. “I’ll get it! Fuck, just sit the fuck down,” he shook his head at you. “I can see why you and that pain in the ass Daryl are together. Stubborn with an attitude,” he said with some amusement. “Moss. Water. Fuel. I can handle that. Just tell me what I need to know…”

You did. And Negan set out and returned a couple hours later with all of it.

Soon you had a fire going in one corner near a broken-out window, any smoke trailing up and out—though you’d made sure all the fuel was dry as a bone so it wouldn’t lead The Reapers straight to you. The water had finished boiling and was sitting to cool a bit. Negan was watching you with interest from his seat again as you cleaned as much debris out of the moss as you could.

Negan was casually peeling the bark off a stick, sitting on the stiff wooden chair and watching you work. “Are you going to tell me what the deal is with you and Daryl or what?” he asked.

Your eyes flickered up to his face for a moment and you paused, completely still. Then you went back to what you were doing. “No,” you said simply.

“Ahh, come on. What the hell else are we gonna talk about? I’m dying to know how exactly he ended up having a kid he didn’t seem to know about. Especially one that looks to be about ten years old.”

You tossed the handful of debris you’d been picking out of the moss into the fire. “I’m sure you are. But you’re the last person I’m going to discuss my personal life with, Negan.”

Negan sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Come on. It’ll pass the time!”

You fixed your gaze on him for a long moment. “I’ll give you one question,” you said, dusting off your hands.

“Hot damn!” Negan grinned. “I better make it a good one… Hmm. Let’s see…” A smirk grew on his face. “So, are you guys fucking again? I mean what’s the current status?”

“Negan!” you barked back at him angrily, color flaring in your face. He only chuckled.

“It’s just a question! Anybody can see the guy is head over heels. That was obvious by the way he looked like he was mentally dismembering me anytime I came within ten feet of you.”

You only glared at him. “Do me and yourself a favor and shut the fuck up,” you growled. You collected the moss and plunged some of it into the still warm water and let it soak for a few seconds. Then you removed it and wrung most of the water out. Negan watched with interest as you packed it over the wound in your side and secured it around your body with a long makeshift bandage you’d fashioned from a spare flannel you’d had stowed in your pack.

“That’s gonna fight off infection?” Negan asked, interested. “Seems counter-intuitive to stick some dirty shit you found outside right over a wound.”

“It’s not dirty. And yes, hopefully. Long before we had modern medicine, plants were doing what doctors and pills used to,” you said, climbing to your feet and sinking back into the armchair again with a sigh.

“How the hell did you learn this?” Negan asked, digging in his pack for his MRE and tearing off the top.

You shrugged. “Aren’t we all picking up new things all the time? One of my people, from my last community, knew a lot about medicinal and edible plants. I paid attention.”

Negan nodded, scooping another bite into his mouth. “So, we gotta just wait now?”

You nodded. “Just have to let it do its job.” You sunk back more heavily into the chair and closed your eyes, but they were only shut a moment before Negan’s voice broke the silence again.

“You’re really not going to tell me about you and Daryl?”

Your eyes opened. “No. I’m not.”

He sighed. “What if I tell you about my wife?” he said softly.

Your brow furrowed. “Which one?” you asked sharply.

“The real one.”

_ _ _ _ _ _

The next morning, you woke up gently. Negan was already awake, standing at one of the dingy windows, staring thoughtfully outside. He turned when he heard you shifting. “You’re looking better,” Negan commented.

You stood and moved without pangs of pain and sighed with relief. Unbinding your bandage and peeling the poultice from the wound, you saw that the redness was gone and it was no longer inflamed. The moss had done its job. You applied fresh, dry moss over the stitches and rebound the bandage.

Negan wandered over, watching you closely. “You good?”

You looked up and nodded. “Yeah.” You paused. “Thanks. For your help yesterday with getting all that stuff.” He nodded once. You slung your pack up onto your shoulder. “Come on. We’ve gotta get to that house. Maybe the others are waiting there.”

“You can’t be serious,” Negan said, nearly stepping in your way as you moved toward the door. “You want to keep going? We don’t even know if anyone else made it.”

You started to unbarricade the door with a grunt of effort. “They did,” you said matter-of-factly.

Negan shook his head. “You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do!” you snapped at him, standing up straight. For the first time, Negan saw something like desperation in your eyes. “They made it,” you said firmly, but he heard the shake in your voice. “Now, help me move this…”

Negan looked at you for a long moment and then sighed and pushed the heavy oak desk out of the path of the door.

_ _ _ _ _ _

Maggie, Gabriel, and Elijah waited in silence. The air was heavy with anxiety and Maggie found herself alternately pacing the length of the room and then standing frozen at the window, peering out through the wooden slats. Through the narrow space, she saw figures moving on the street outside but it was difficult to see through the leaves of the shrubs close to the house. “I got movement comin’ up on this side.”

Elijah stood and went to another window near the front door. His knife was in his hand.

“Oh my God. Oh, thank God,” Maggie suddenly sighed. “It’s alright. It’s Negan and Y/N,” she said, happy tears in her eyes.

A moment later, Elijah pulled the door open and the two of you stepped into the dilapidated interior, Maggie rushed over and grabbed you in a hug. “Thank God you’re alright,” she said.

You tightened your free arm around her, bow in your hand at your other side. “You too. All of you,” you said, looking at Elijah and Gabriel as she broke away, but at the same moment your heart sank. “Daryl?” you asked, your brow furrowing and casting a shadow over your momentary relief at seeing the others.

Maggie shook her head. “We don’t know. We haven’t seen Daryl or Frost. Alden’s hurt bad. I left him someplace safe,” she said, her voice breaking. “Agatha. Duncan. They’re gone...”

You hung your head and closed your eyes for a long moment. “Fuck…” Your knuckles shone white as you gripped riser of your bow hard. “Goddammit… I’m so sorry.”

She nodded solemnly and then scrutinized you and Negan more closely. “How are you two?”

You moved farther into the house and stood beside the small stash of supplies. “We took a little damage but I think we’ll be fine. What’s the plan?” you asked, getting straight back to your purpose.

“We’ll wait a little longer for Daryl and Frost, in case they’re tryin’ to get here. But then we have to move. It’s not too far to Meridian from here.”

Negan let out a small scoff and paced away in a small circle, rubbing a hand over his forehead.

Maggie bristled. “Somethin’ you wanna say?”

“Maggie, look at us. We’re hurt. There are only four of us. One more encounter like the one we just had and that number is going to drop to zero.”

“People back home are dependin’ on us. Hungry kids. If we can’t make this work, Alexandria is done.”

Negan sighed and leaned back against the wall, but he stayed quiet.

“So, unless you’ve gotta somethin’ helpful to add, just keep your mouth shut for once in your life,” she snapped at him.

“Hey—” Elijah said suddenly. “Something’s up.” _ _ _ _ _ _

The heavy bootsteps overhead seemed to press on your ear drums as the Reapers moved through the house. Your heart was hammering in your throat. Then suddenly—Daryl’s voice. You clapped a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from gasping with relief. Alive. He was alive. He was okay. But then your stomach plummeted into the pit of your stomach. But why was he with them?

It didn’t take long for you to realize what was going on. A voice. A woman. “You’re either with us, or you’re not.” Leah. It had to be Leah. It was the only thing that made sense.

Your chest tightened and it was harder for you to draw in even shallow breaths. You closed your eyes, straining your hearing. Daryl again. “What do you want me to do?”

Then it was obvious; Daryl was dropping as much info as he could to you hiding below. 20 people. Weapons. Supplies. Walls. And then he was picking a fight on purpose with this “Carver” asshole.

“Shaw. Wake. Up. Everything is a test now,” Carver spat. “If you think this guy is ever going to give a shit about any of us, you’re gonna fail.”

“He’s right,” Daryl said quickly. “I don’t give a shit about any of you. Except you.” You felt a sharp pain between your lungs. “I’m here for you. It’s no secret I made mistakes. But I’m here right now.”

You were trying to suppress a rising wave of nausea. You could feel Maggie and Negan looking your way and you ducked your eyes, kept them down-turned to the cement of the cellar floor. A second later, Maggie touched you on the sleeve and tilted her head toward the cellar door. With Daryl distracting Leah and Carver, you snuck away, but the painful bubble in the middle of your chest stayed with you.

When you were finally safely away from the town the Reapers had been combing, Maggie stopped all of you. “We can stop for a minute,” she said, out of breath just like the rest of you from rushing through the woods. “We’re getting’ close. About three miles out.”

Negan let out a disbelieving laugh again, but you silenced him with a look. Maggie turned to you and touched you on the arm and spoke to you in a soft undertone. “You know Daryl was only sayin’ those things to—”

“I know,” you interrupted her, nodding, but your face was downturned. It still felt like a knife was lodged upward between your lungs. Listening in on that, Daryl saying those things to another woman, to her, had been excruciating. You hadn’t even realized how much so until you were out of the immediate danger. They seemed to ring in your head. “I’m here for you.” “I made mistakes.”

Maggie frowned softly. “Y/N, you and DJ are his whole life. I was there. I saw it. I saw how he was after. We almost lost him when he lost you. And then he never gave up on you. He never stopped searchin’. Whoever she is, she’s nothin’ to him compared to you. Believe that. Trust it.”

You gulped and nodded again and managed to give her a forced smile, though the worry line stayed between your brows. “What’s the plan for taking care of these assholes?”

You all turned as sticks cracked nearby. Walkers were wandering in. Everyone fingered their weapon but Maggie stopped you. “Wait,” she said, looking at more following behind out of the trees. She glanced back at the group of you. “Think we can find more?”

[thepunkmuppet]

UNHOLYVERSE CLOSING THOUGHTS YIPPEEEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

it’s 1am and I’ve finished it :)

the plot was fucking amazing as was the writing, it was like a really really good tv show, or maybe an amazing movie (pt1) and its slightly more deranged sequel (pt2 and 3). I think I definitely preferred all things unholy as a whole, but yeah the next parts really did feel very sequel-like, in that the first one was The Story and the second and third were building on that first core story, expanding the characters and world. which ummmm btw the lore is insane??? so much going on lmfao but I think it all worked really well. the fallout boy stuff was fucking wild though icl because WHAT 💀 I’m also obsessed with the idea of god talking to frank in the form of the cardinal dream, that worked soooo well and still leaving it open at the end is great. I’m so glad frank and gerard got a happy ending, I ship those stupid twats SO hard I’m literally clawing at the walls they make me INSANE RRAAHHHH!!! icl I really didn’t care about mikey and ray’s romance like at all but it worked as a source of conflict and was pretty cute

I kind of forgot it was meant to be mcr fanfic for a while lmfao, which brings me on to I guess the most important part which is my main takeaway on the whole rpf thing

as I’ve said in a post before, I really struggle to picture voices and faces accurately in my head when reading. well except when it comes to buffyverse characters, but that’s just because those shows are so deeply ingrained into my psyche forever that istg I could literally channel buffy summers at this point and just become her. lmfao but yeah I really struggle with that! so when I’m reading, I just kind of create a vibe, a vague mind’s-eye image of a character, it’s very hard to explain. so for me these frank, gerard, mikey, etc characters were subconsciously already way far removed from the real people, like I had to consciously make an effort to make them sound and look exactly like them in my head. but like I said, it felt like a real piece of media like a tv show or something, so to me the unholyverse characters are just that - characters. it really felt like mcr playing movie roles lmfao which I was perfectly happy with. the romance and other relationships were written soooooo well, the real problem was ofc the smut!

I don’t like smut in general, not in a judgy or censor-y way, I just get no joy or kick out of reading it and all it does is make me feel awkward. but with rpf smut, even though I see unholyverse frank and gerard as fictional characters, I can’t ignore the fact that THIS IS FULLY EXPLICIT WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY PORN BEING WRITTEN ABOUT REAL PEOPLE 💀 read it write it all you want, personally I find it uncomfortable and it just doesn’t do anything for me. made me think too much about the fact that it WAS rpf, yk?? got me thinking about the real frank and gerard and how fucking weird it would be to read smth like that about yourself idk, also the fact they have wives and kids…. 😟 gosh idk it was very very well-written smut, it just made me so icked out the more I thought about it

but anyway, OVERALL: I loved it. it was so good, will definitely reread, bookmark, and think about it for a very very very long time. possibly scream and cry and tear my hair out too, idk. part 1 was my favourite by a long shot, it’s so iconic, and feels pretty removed from parts 2 and 3 in a nice way that makes it feel like a movie and its strange sequel. I’ve discovered I like rpf when it’s good and when it’s a complete au and the people feel like original fictional characters in their own right. I don’t enjoy rpf smut, though, AT ALL, which isn’t a surprise bc I don’t enjoy smut in general, the rpf aspect just made it way more uncomfy for me personally. kind of feel the need now to bleach my brain out and consume normal mcr content just to remind myself of the disconnect between unholyverse frerard and the real people lmfao

OH ALSO THAT

I do NOT ship frerard irl, that shit’s fucking weird don’t do it. yes there is a difference between fic like this and saying two married friends and colleagues in real life are actually in love with and attracted to each other. I do for sure ship unholyverse frerard, as I’ve said they’re fictional characters to me

[xb-squaredx]

A Final Look at Splatoon 3

A little over a year ago I put out this post going over my frustrations with Splatoon 3 and my hopes that with another year of planned updates they could address these issues and end on a strong note. As of this writing, Splatoon 3 seems content complete without any plans to add any more substantial content, so it’s time to do a deep dive on how this game spent its final year of updates and come to terms with how this trilogy will close out.

REWORKS AND ROADMAPS

First off, let’s recap my main complaints from the original post and see just how Splatoon 3 addressed those points: I had issues with the game’s online stability, the seasonal update cycles, Salmon Run’s reward system and the quality of the multiplayer stages. To be honest…very few of these complaints were addressed, though I kind of expected that. The online experience in Splatoon 3 is largely the same now as it was back when I made that post, and any alleged improvements aren’t all that noticeable to me. Rooms still break down at random when matchmaking, and you still see a lot of players disconnecting at all points of a match. There was a patch not too long ago that seemingly tried addressing lag issues in matches, though I can’t say I noticed any major differences. For a while the game seemed to disconnect me and then punish me despite doing everything in my power to stomp out issues, though that did diminish greatly over time. Other than that, it’s the same ol’, same ol’.

I didn’t expect the seasonal content droughts to really be addressed and they also went mostly unchanged. In fact, we got LESS per season near the end with less weapons and stages. There was an attempt to improve the frequency of the various Challenges with wacky rule sets though. I’d still argue they were too infrequent and I was often not able to play even when they were active. There was a fun one where Rollers were super-fast, so that was neat I guess. Salmon Run also received a patch that awards players some silver and gold scales per shift if you do all your rewards, but that’s a bandage being slapped on that game’s horrid economy that comes too little too late. The shop still makes you buy things just to see what else is on sale and the prices are still FAR too high most of the time. There’s only one thing I think this game really did that felt like they were responding to criticism and that was regarding the stages.

For one thing, many of the later stages added post-launch got better with time. Starting with Drizzle Season 2023, I think the devs were finally willing to budge on some of their early design decisions with stages. Crableg Capital had a lot more verticality for starters, with Shipshape Cargo Co. having a lot of wide open space and multiple ways to get around and into the enemy side of the stage. From there Robo ROM-en was a really fun stage with a good theme and an interesting lower route that allowed you to actually flank your opponents. Marlin Airport made use of fans that would move platforms around for an interesting stage gimmick too. Our final brand new stage, Lemuria Hub, was an interesting take on asymmetrical stages with more moving platforms as a hazard to make it stand out. Admittedly, Bluefin Depot’s return was a bit underwhelming but it still has a very unique layout that helps it stand out. But the real talking points here were all of the stage reworks.

Starting with version 5.1 Splatoon 3 would start doing stage reworks as they have done in the past two games. First up was Mahi-Mahi Resort, which ended up addressing a lot of my problems. The stage was made a lot bigger even before the water levels dropped, with the side routes on the left side being made bigger and a better flank route overall. It still doesn’t hold a candle to Splatoon 1’s iteration of the stage but it was a great step forward. That said…I think we kind of peaked there. The subsequent reworks for Mincemeat Metalworks and Undertow Spillway were a lot less impactful. They did make the stages a bit better with extended routes out of spawn or slightly reworking the middle of the stages but they were still largely the same and barely count as a rework in my mind.

(Compare the launch version of Mincemeat Metalworks (LEFT) with the reworked version (RIGHT). Sure they're some changes, but at a glance could you even notice?)

The Version 8.0 update ended up changing MULTIPLE stages at once though. Hammerhead Bridge and Barnacle and Dime would also receive reworks, alongside multiple other stages getting smaller changes across a few of the modes. That said, these final reworks were a bit all over the place. Barnacle and Dime did add a new route on the left of the stage and slightly reworked paths out of spawn which was appreciated, and Hammerhead Bridge did extend the routes out of spawn a bit alongside a one-way drop into the middle of the stage on the right side of the stage…but the stage itself was still a glorified corridor. In the other ranked modes (aside from Splat Zones), these changes were barely notable. When it comes to the other assorted changes, some ended up being more notable than expected. Eeltail Alley added some blocks that allowed you another way to get up to the center bridge (though only in Turf War), and the changes made to the lower flank routes on Museum d’Alfonsio and Brinewater Springs were pretty major changes. Adding a random block here or there on Manta Marina…doesn’t really set the world on fire though. Oddly enough, Um’Ami Ruins received a lot of changes that I count it as an unofficial rework, getting a completely revamped right path out of spawn with a new ink rail to get to the middle of the stage faster. To be honest, this game did end up changing more stages than I thought they would, and we are definitely in a much better place with stages now then at launch or even a year ago. But at the same time, the issues these stages faced are systemic and would take way more time to change than a simple patch would allow. I can only hope that Splatoon 4 isn’t afraid to let players ink walls and have more routes to get around. I feel like making sure stages could be modified for extra modes like Big Run or Tricolor Battles, alongside all of the other ranked modes led to stages feeling less dynamic and interesting across the board. Still, as perhaps my biggest beef with this game, I appreciate the effort. With that said though, let’s talk about some of the NEW stuff the final year of this game’s content cycle would give us.

SPLATOON GOES ROGUE(LITE), WITH A GRAND FINALE

Teased way back before the game even officially launched, the single player expansion was hotly anticipated…and they ended up taking quite a bit of time to release it. That said, I think it ended up being well worth the wait. Side Order ends up serving as a bit of a follow-up to the storyline from Splatoon 2’s Octo Expansion while also being a very experimental side mode. Side Order is a roguelite adventure, with Agent 8 having to scale a tower in a digital world in order to take out the embodiment of order itself to save Pearl and Marina. Players start with a weakened main weapon but each floor they ascend gets them a random power-up that can help turn the tables. For every given “run” of the game, failure or not, you get currency to purchase permanent power-ups to ensure the next run goes smoother. It ended up being a lot of fun with some really addictive gameplay that kept me playing until my thumbs hurt. While maybe not quite as large as Octo Expansion was, it was definitely filled with more than enough to keep me coming back again and again until I cleaned my plate and did everything. All the power-ups cataloged, runs with all the weapons, and even the special run with the Order Octo Shot with no upgrades. For Nintendo’s first crack at a rogue-lite I’m happy that they nailed it so well, and it makes me hopeful future Splatoon games continue to experiment with their single player content. If nothing else, Splatoon seems to always nail their single player modes.

That said, as the end approached it was clear that we’d have to say goodbye…and the game did everything in its power to ensure the final main Splatfest would be one to remember. The Grand Festival didn’t just feel like the finale to Splatoon 3 but a celebration of the entire trilogy. All three main idol groups came together to form the Now or Never Seven, performing for an extra-long Splatfest that lasted three entire days. For this event players were also transferred to a completely different locale this time around, the Grand Festival Grounds near the desert crater where our story first began in this game. It felt like a real full-circle moment, and the fact that the developers went and made a HUGE venue filled to the brim with characters and little details that would only be used for three days was pretty impressive. We live in a world where game devs do everything they can to reuse assets and make sure players see everything they worked hard on, and a lot of this stuff was only available for three days! You know, assuming you don’t own an amiibo of the idols.

Adding to that, prior to this event we got a sneak peak of the final Tricolor map, the Grand Festival Bowl with the final Big Run of the game. Once again, introducing content that wouldn’t be readily available afterward, it was a cool way to tease the stage. The prompt for this final Splatfest was also an interesting one, asking players what they valued most: the Past, the Present, or the Future, with the three idol groups all picking a side to represent them. In the end though…it was a blowout. The power of nostalgia dictates that people value the Past more (or maybe they just like the Squid Sisters the most?), and while Present had a decent showing…in the end Future ended with zero points. How fitting that the final Splatfest of this game would once again demonstrate how hard it is to balance three choices without creating a third wheel that doesn’t really contribute to the greater outcome. That bummer aside, I think the Grand Festival was a really special sendoff for the game on the whole. It’s worth noting we’ll still see reruns of some seasonal Splatfests as time goes on, so it isn’t the TRUE end to the game, but its close enough. That said…as good as this finale was, I do think the true final state of the game does come up a bit short.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

With confirmation that no more major updates were planned for this game, fans will have to more or less accept Splatoon 3 for what it IS rather than what it COULD be. I do find it strange that, for a game as obsessed with the number 3 as Splatoon 3 is, we never did get third kits for weapons at all. It is worth noting Splatoon 3 has more weapons than either Splatoon game before it even WITHOUT third kits though, so I’d argue there is still a lot of variety. That being said, the lack of more options for some weapons can really hurt, especially when you consider the long wait some weapons had to even get their second kit (Bamboozler mains I feel for you!) thanks to the seasonal updates. The fact that we got brand new weapons such as the Decavitator right at the end of the game’s life with both kits at once stings all the more.

Considering how much work this game put into multiple versions of stages for certain modes and events, I am a little shocked a final update didn’t let players do private room Tricolor Battles or even be able to add on the modifiers from the random Challenges. Seeing as Shifty Stations became fair game after the Final Fest of 2¸I don’t see a reason for not implementing something similar for the likes of Tricolor stages, or even Big Run stages. I understand that making something limited-time only makes it feel more special (I even just praised this about the Grand Festival), but considering what past games have done it’s hard to feel like 3 isn’t dropping the ball a little bit.

Just so we’re clear here, I still think Splatoon 3 is a game bursting at the seams with content. Between two solid single-player experiences, by far the most stages and weapons in the series (especially if we’re counting variations for modes like Big Run or Tricolor Battles), a more fleshed-out co-op mode with Salmon Run, it even manages to have smaller stuff like a card game hidden within. Both Splatanas and Stingers are interesting new weapons and some of the other new weapons added later on in the game are pretty interesting. I’ll still hold firm that the Zipcaster is one of the coolest special weapons they’ve ever made. The game has a lot of technical polish and the visuals, even if they aren’t a huge leap from past games, feel all the more refined. I put hundreds of hours into the game across these two years and some change, and I enjoyed the vast majority of it. Playing with friends on the weekend was a pretty common activity, as opposed to the other two games that eventually boiled down to dusting it off every so often for a Splatfest and then turning it off again for months at a time. Splatoon 3 is a great game and in a lot of respects a great finale to the trilogy, but I won’t deny I still feel a little let down.

We have no idea what the future holds for this series now. Final Splatfests have had some impact on the next game in the series. Marie having more of a role in 2’s story, or the entire “chaos” theming for 3 on the whole…so who knows how Past winning will impact the hypothetical Splatoon 4. The devs have mentioned the trilogy closing the chapter on the current plot, so I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw a total clean slate moving forward. Maybe we’ll get a game set in the past to get more of that juicy lore. Maybe we’ll get a game that’s geared more towards design elements from the first game even! One can hope, I guess. The Splatoon trilogy has definitely had its share of ups and downs, so I don’t want to paint this as something that only 3 had going on. The first game was at times an unbalanced mess, since it was a new IP that wasn’t sure what it wanted to be yet. The second game got rushed out the door to hit the launch window of the Switch too, and had its own share of strange design decisions (here’s looking at you, Sting Ray). With 3 I had hopes the devs would finally have the time and resources, not to mention past experiences to draw from, to make the best game in the series and…3 was not that at all. But it was also a game made during a pandemic, with a new Nintendo online infrastructure, on top of being on aging hardware that may or may not have once had a “pro” version in development. All things considered I think Splatoon 3 came out OK. It still delivered on a sense of style that stands out from the rest of Nintendo’s games, and kept me coming back for more even with all of these issues, so clearly they were doing a lot right. Whatever the future holds, I’ll always be down to make a mess with some ink.

Stay fresh.

-B

[see-arcane]

With Jekyll, it was a thing of vital instinct. He had now seen the full deformity of that creature that shared with him some of the phenomena of consciousness, and was co-heir with him to death: and beyond these links of community, which in themselves made the most poignant part of his distress, he thought of Hyde, for all his energy of life, as of something not only hellish but inorganic. [...] I, who sicken and freeze at the mere thought of him, when I recall the abjection and passion of this attachment, and when I know how he fears my power to cut him off by suicide, I find it in my heart to pity him. [...] Nor must I delay too long to bring my writing to an end; for if my narrative has hitherto escaped destruction, it has been by a combination of great prudence and great good luck. Should the throes of change take me in the act of writing it, Hyde will tear it in pieces; but if some time shall have elapsed after I have laid it by, his wonderful selfishness and circumscription to the moment will probably save it once again from the action of his ape-like spite. [...] Will Hyde die upon the scaffold? or will he find courage to release himself at the last moment?

All of this comes together to provide the most interesting part of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The battle between perceptions of just who and what Edward Hyde is.

Is he solely the primordial selfishly reckless id of an otherwise upstanding and deeply repressed man? If so, Jekyll's constant attempts at disconnection must be read as a sinner attempting to paint the self he becomes while intoxicated as another awful entity, a thing that delighted in cruelty while it could be gotten away with and is now an excuse to point fingers at the mirror or the Devil to keep Jekyll's own hands clean, if only in his mind.

Is Edward Hyde simply Henry Jekyll as he might have been in another life? One sans repression but still loaded with Jekyll's intelligence and most basic wants. If so, then he is not an impulse given flesh, but a doppelganger in all but appearance. The Self, made Other. He is not an imbecile or an inorganic flaw, just Jekyll himself pulled through a sieve until only the untethered Wants and Hates remain.

What if Edward Hyde began as inorganic, as no more than a bleak reflection of Jekyll, but eventually coalesced into an entirely separate thinking identity? A new soul that budded from the original like a branch? A mind-son or a conjoined twin revealed decades too late. If this is the case, only then might half of Jekyll's excuses and reasonings hold water--but only half.

Because Jekyll himself either cannot grasp or refuses to fully accept all of what Edward Hyde is. The amount of contradiction in Hyde's actions and Jekyll's attempts at defining him go in too many directions. He's a clump of wicked and delightful impulse who wears Jekyll as a costume. He's artificial. He's real. He's an it. He's a he. He is Jekyll. He is himself.

Even at the end, Jekyll fumbles with his initial estimate of Hyde's state. A coward who hides in him and the lab to avoid the death penalty! Yet in the last lines he admits to the possibility that Hyde will decide to end himself rather than risk further pursuit or a trip to the gallows.

He claims to fear Hyde ripping up the letter in a fury, assuming the document would only be spared because of Hyde's feverish focus on the moment-at-hand. But there was no doubt time to destroy it before chugging the poison. Hyde could have done both. He didn't. Implying the little imp of impulse felt no desire to.

Think back on Hyde's last moments alive. Right before the door was broken down. Pure despondency. Pure wretchedness. Pure grief.

“Utterson,” said the voice, “for God’s sake, have mercy!”

The far end of a fretting frantic animal of a man, trying desperately to save himself. Well, selves. There is no safety for Hyde without them both. ...But also no freedom. To save the beloved man who is the bandit's cave also means retreating into that cave permanently.

And if Edward Hyde is his own man? If Hyde is a man at all, whose core is impulse itself? Imagine the hell of such a life. A sentient tumor. Forever.

Of course he chose oblivion. But to do that last courtesy--to not spoil or destroy Jekyll's parting words to his friend--I have to wonder what it means.

Did it simply slip his attention as Jekyll assumed?

Did he relish in a last mote of bitter joy at the reputation due to be ruined by its reading?

Or was the impulse in him not all unvarnished evil after all? A callous, a brutal, a vicious character; but even the sinner cannot hold to sin as a constant. No villain genuinely dedicates every second of their life to committing cruelty outside of a comedy. Hyde didn't either. He was only ever impulse in its entirety; blunt and greedy as a brattish child. And the stamp of it was obvious! Enough to inspire hate at a glance. Just as we can sneer at strangers in the news when we know what loathsome acts they've been up to, inflicting pain on others for their own gain.

But they too are human.

In the end, I think Jekyll was happier going to his end without admitting Hyde was as much a human soul as he was.

And he left the letter untouched to make sure Utterson knew it.

[a-jaded-mirage]

Blue Beetle and El Paso

I would be lying if I said that I was not disappointed by the canonical home of Jaime Reyes being changed both in the movie and in recent comics. However, I would also be lying if I said that I absolutely detested the movie for whatever reason. I enjoyed the movie for what it was and what it meant to the Hispanic and Latinx communities. It is a huge deal, and I think it was done well. Going back to my original point, it is hard to be disappointed when it feels as though I am not missing out on much when Blue Beetle's relationship with El Paso was never done true justice anyway.

The West Texan Mexican-American experience is hard to fully encapsulate into one solid thought or idea. I can confidently say that the approach DC had in most iterations of the comics, cartoons, recent movie, and other forms of media always toned the experience down and made it a duller aspect of his story. I can not recall even a single time when El Paso was brought up or portrayed in a way that was recognizable to an El Pasoan across any of the aforementioned media. It always felt disconnected and out of touch, but I still held it close to my heart because it was something alluding to home.

In a way, I am happy that Blue Beetle is now from the fictional (emphasis on that) Palmera City, because it reiterates that heroes can only be super in Hollywood when they are superficially placed in a cookie-cutter big and flashy city. All I really have to say to that is, good for them. They did what they needed to in order to reach a wider audience. I am sure that the payoff for the corporate powerhouses at the end was worth it even at the cost of individuality. Come to think of it, my mind cannot really conjure up any mainstream superheroes that operate in any desert long term. Any time spent in the less "glamorous" parts of the Southwest is almost always smaller plot-driving settings that act as a stepping stone for bigger heroes and not as a home.

Anyway, all of this is to say that I understand why they did what they did with the setting. I even still happen to think the entire production team did a great job, but that does not stop me from wondering what could have been at any point in Blue Beetle's recent history if someone had used the beauty, culture, and complexity found uniquely in Sun City far more productively. There was so much more potential than the oftentimes vague and noncommittal nods given to the setting. It just was not utilized to its fullest potential, and if that would have been a continuous theme, then I am glad that they are no longer working with it.

Shifting to something less ranty, I absolutely suck at drawing. I am a STEM person through and through, but that did not stop me from visualizing all of the things I would have loved to have seen portrayed in a Blue Beetle story while experiencing being a teenager in El Paso. He was my absolute favorite superhero because he was one that I saw every single day in my hometown, and there were several things I felt he would have enjoyed doing.

For example, we have a ton of high schools. If I had to narrow down the ones I think Jaime Reyes would have attended, I would probably say my top three picks would be: El Paso High School, Bowie High School, or Austin High School. An interesting custom that schools in El Paso have is placing the first initial of a myriad of our high schools on the mountains. They are huge and visible, as well as a testament to our school spirit and pride. The Top 10 percent of most of our graduating classes wear different colored gowns at graduation than the rest of their peers, which is something I was told was not a common occurrence in most other states.

Homecoming is a huge deal, and people will buy, make, or sell Mums and corsages. It is kind of difficult to explain to people from around the states who may not be entirely familiar with what it is, but it is an old Texan tradition that is typically shared between sweethearts (dates) on the last day of Homecoming spirit week. It is something that a lot of people go all out for, and plenty of pictures exist on the internet of the various ways that they can be customized. I always thought it would be cool to see what Jaime Reyes would do for his Mum.

Prom is pretty much Prom wherever you are in the States for the most part, and ours are held at some great venues in the city, so there is not much more to say about that part of the high school experience. As far as colleges go, some of the most popular for teenagers at El Paso high schools to apply to are UTEP, EPCC, TTU, Texas A&M, and any of the other UTs (UT Austin, UT Dallas, and UT San Antonio to name a few). There are even several private universities like Rice, Baylor, and Trinity to name a few more. Hell, a lot of us even go to schools like NMSU in what is essentially our sister city of Las Cruces, there is also UNM, ASU, U of A, and CU. There are so many different choices for universities that are realistic and in the general area that Jaime absolutely could have chosen to apply to and attend. I think that seeing him initially as a Junior or Senior in an El Paso high school, and subsequently watching his transition into a college student in the city or elsewhere while grappling with his powers and responsibilities as Blue Beetle would have been so fascinating.

As far as places that it would have been nice to see him interact with at some point, it would be easier to just give a general list of my favorites. I wish that the following places could have been incorporated into the Blue Beetle story at some point long past: Chico's Tacos, Franklin Mountains State Park, Transmountain Road, Downtown, The Plaza Theater, Cielo Vista, The Fountains at Farah, Sunland Park, the Outlet Shoppes, Rosa's Cantina, Southwest University Park, Don Haskins Center, Concordia Cemetery, Scenic Drive-Overlook, the El Paso Star, Hueco Tanks, San Jacinto Plaza, St. Patrick Cathedral, any farmer's market or swap meet, any of our museums (Art, History, Archeology, Border Patrol, Science, Chamizal), the Coliseum, Ardovino's, Orange Cow, Burrito House, Bowie Bakery, Lucy's Cafe, any of our dulcerias, as well as literally any of our regional and national recreational chains. Obviously, there is so much more, but all of what I listed could have definitely been used for something whether it be a fight with a villain of the week, or opportunities to flesh out Jaime's character more socially and individually. That, and it tickles my funny bone to imagine the Teen Titans trying something like Chico's Tacos for the first time.

Unrelated, Jaime would totally listen to Khalid.

Naturally, there are so many other locations in surrounding cities and states that easily could have been used as well for any plot points that would have added even more Southwestern charm. I mean, part of New Mexico's tourism schtick is literally aliens (Roswell), and the scarab is in fact an alien now. However, for the purposes of this, I focused on El Paso. That is really all I have to say about all of this, if you stayed for my entire rant I appreciate it. If not, I totally understand, and I really just wanted to put my thoughts out into the world and write this love letter to my home city.

I love that Blue Beetle is now further into the general public's eye, and that his character means something for the entire extended community. He now has room to change, grow, and evolve from what he was before in a way that is far more defined by the expectations for a mainstream hero. Even if the El Pasoan Jaime Reyes can only exist truly in my mind, it is an okay price to pay for a narrative that touches my heart specifically. I am most certainly not a writer, so I hope that the next time we have a hero from El Paso, some of my city's charm can truly be done justice. After all, the only person who can characterize an El Pasoan correctly is an El Pasoan.

[brehaaorgana]

You still do not understand the point. You are not Black. Therefore your analysis of the situation is not warranted or needed. You should instead, reblog Black bloggers, repost (with credit and links) from Black users of other social media and donate to Black people in need. Adding another non Black voice on the topic of antiblack racist violence is never helpful. You are not the exception.

Okay, so first, I think this is inherently going to be a difficult conversation since you're anonymous.

second, I think we're talking past each other here, and genuinely, I'm not really sure why you think it's unhelpful for me to tell non-black people to stop and ask themselves some questions about a call by a non-black person to go watch a black woman be murdered by the police. I didn't make a huge callout post or demand anything or insist anything.

this is i guess point three, but: in all my time in the world thus far, it has been understood that I, as a non-black person, should tell my fellow non-black people when they don't have the right to decide something or say something or demand something regarding antiblackness or black people.

Like...genuinely, did we stop doing "Somebody come get your cousin?" on the social justice internet in the last decade for some reason?

Was I NOT supposed to say anything when fellow non-black people were trying to make choices/claims/whatever that aren't theirs to make, because we're not black? am i not, as a non-black person, supposed to speak up if i see something potentially problematic about non-black people's behavior towards violence against black people, particularly police brutality and murder, and ask them to THINK ABOUT IT?

also this is just....a Real Take. Like.

i've had my literal (mexican-american, cop) uncle blocked on facebook since Freddie Gray was murdered in 2015 because I told him he was being antiblack, which he was.

was i supposed to just phone a black friend to do the emotional labor of telling him he was being antiblack since non-black people can't speak on the topic of antiblack racist violence? That's sort of what you're implying here.

anyways anon i edited my other post, so here you are:

Black Voices on the topic of Viral videos of Police Killings of Black People:

PBS: White people don’t understand the trauma of viral police-killing videos by Dr. Monnica Williams.

Al Jazeera: Videos of police brutality can perpetuate Black trauma — The wanton display of footage of violent Black deaths re-traumatises Black communities and promotes racist tropes.

Sage Perspectives: When Black Death Goes Viral: How Algorithms of Oppression (Re)Produce Racism and Racial Trauma

Jstor Daily: Viral Black Death: Why We Must Watch Citizen Videos of Police Violence

This whole book: Bearing Witness While Black: African Americans, Smartphones, and the New Protest #Journalism

What to Consider before Watching Videos of Police Brutality

the New Republic: What Does Seeing Black Men Die Do for You? (Apparently re-titled as: Videos of Police Killings Are Numbing Us to the Spectacle of Black Death)

NPR's Codeswitch: A Decade Of Watching Black People Die

hope that works.

edit -- also for context my full comments:

brehaaorgana

2h

Genuinely (as someone who has handled graphic original photo print documentation of genocide/war crimes before)*** I don't see a reason to make a spectacle of a video recording of a black woman's murder by cops in order to understand what happened. It's just not necessary to do. Being a direct eyewitness to this kind of thing is not always necessary or even something desired by surviving family/community/friends.

bolding my own. Generals and specifics my own.

Someone replied:

I mostly agree with you, but I do think there's something to be said about how disconnected most of us feel from these issues, I think sometimes it does help to actually see it, if you can handle it, and if it's done respectfully with intent to educate. I have a lot of thoughts on this that won't fit in a reply.

My response:

that's fair, I also have a lot of thoughts that won't fit in a reply. Another (less about ethics) concern I had was jury contamination when this goes to court. But in general I think it's not…great to encourage people to make a spectacle of black people being murdered, especially in the US, & especially given the horrific history of using black murders as a recreational visual consumption activity by non-black ppl in the US. basically I would say there's a lot of questions I believe ppl need to ask of themselves if they do this. "who decides if, how, and when it is respectful for you/me to watch someone's murder? How does seeing it in the wild on the internet ensure an educational understanding? How is watching a black murder today different from when people made souvenir photos of black lynchings in the past? What makes it different? Does watching murder teach me something new? like ultimately I don't need an answer from anyone or even your answer specifically. That's all hypotheticals. but there's a huge amount of labor, ethical & legal guidelines, praxis theory & usually multiple degreed people that goes into things like "presenting [community traumas and state violence] the Atlantic Slave Trade or Holocaust or Trail of Tears in meaningful, educational, and respectful contexts" and ppl encouraging folks watching a horrific murder online aren't…engaging in any of that.

Someone else just replied to me:

@brehaaorgana thank you so much for sharing your thoughts in such a thoughtful, understanding, & appropriately serious manner. You never admonished but you certainly didn't mince your words/hold back from implying that this is anything but superfluous, unnecessary, and garish. Watching is nothing but gawking, when details and precise relaying of the event exists. One doesn't need to watch to understand that the cop is repellent & unqualified to be armed w/ authority. I don't care how much it helps you to "engage"; you've now admitted that you're watching the butchering of a human life for a self-serving purpose, even if that purpose is part of an otherwise commendable effort to remain informed and critical.

idk i feel pretty okay saying i, personally, am wary of personally making a spectacle of black people being murdered by police.

***I've obviously been to holocaust museums, native american museums, black american history museums, and so on, but I am referring specifically here to personally handling albums of photos taken and developed by Japanese soldiers during World War II while working in a museum research context.

[feneku]

Under a Million Blazing Stars - WIP

Warnings: None

Tags: Slight F!drifter/ordis if you tilt your head and squint, fluff, comfort, Post-Jade Shadows

Notes: I headcanon the Operator and Drifter merging into one being during TNW so the Drifter is generally referred to as the Operator in my fics. Set prior to Rescue Operation.

~800 words

The Operator stretched her arms over her head as she walked up the ramp out of the Orbiter. She breathed in the cool night air and looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful night, quiet and peaceful. She turned back toward the Orbiter for a moment, and thought she’d never get used to it being stashed away in a cave. Hell she didn’t think Ordis would be fine with it considering it was leaking water in multiple places. She smiled and hoped the small army of domestik drones she bought helped, if nothing else, it was funny watching them follow Ordis around when he wandered the ship in his drone body.

She looked up at the stars again and sighed, she didn’t come out here to stargaze or worry about the state of the Orbiter. She had something far more pressing to worry about.

As she moved through the camp she kept an eye out for her target. He wasn’t by the campfire, she poked around Kahl’s garrison, not there either. She frowned and hoped he hadn’t wandered off too far into the forest. She's sure he’d be fine, but still she worried. The Operator moved past Kahl’s garrison and walked down the small path further into the forest. It wasn’t until she had wandered into the small cave with an overlook that she spotted him.

“Ah!” She paused. Now that she had found him she was at a loss at how to handle this. She took a deep breath and recalled what he’d let slip out that afternoon.

"I am, as always, your- Ordan- Ordis." He’d called himself by his original name. One he’d tried so hard to hide from her. She knew she shouldn’t’ve pried, searched for his scattered memories, but after Granum’s ranting it was more or less out in the open now.

She slowly approached him. It seemed he was doing some stargazing of his own.

“Ordis?” She called out to him as she made her way over to him.

He jerked in shock, like she'd interrupted him deep in thought, “Operator! What are you doing- skulking around- walking around so late?”

The Operator looked past him at the moon slowly making its way across the sky. It wasn’t really that late.

“Looking for you, actually.” She said as she settled in next to him. “Mind if I join you?”

“Certainly! Ordis did not know the Operator enjoyed stargazing as well! It is a lovely night, isn't it?” He started babbling excitedly about the stars, the nighttime wildlife, and occasionally stopping to ask her thoughts. He always seemed to want to know what she was thinking.

After a short time had passed she decided it was now or never, and interrupted him, “Ordis? Can I give you a hug?”

“Of course, Operator.” The drone’s little head tilted quizzically. “Is something wrong?” His voice was tinged with concern for her. She smiled softly, he was still fussing over her after what had happened with the Stalker.

“Not exactly…” Not with me, at least. She thought as she wrapped her arms around him. “How have you been feeling lately, Ordis?”

“Ordis has been… Fine.” He said, a little too carefully.

Liar.

“I'm sorry, I know this is sudden but…Can we talk a little about what you said earlier?” She said as she braced herself for his response.

She felt his drone body jolt and he made to fly away, but it wasn’t an earnest attempt. She grimaced. She didn’t like trapping him like this, but one of them had to start this conversation at some point. Truthfully, if he really wanted to avoid it he could just disconnect from his drone body, she really didn't want to have to carry it back to the Orbiter though, it was heavier than it looked.

“That man is dead. Ordis is Ordis.”

She frowned and fought back some choice words about how that was absolute kavatshit. He's so insistent, so damn stubborn. It felt like the more he denied who he was the worse his “glitches” became. She worried for him.

“I understand.” She sighed, “I just want you to know I'm here for you, no matter what. Okay?” She felt him relax in her arms and wondered for a moment if he was going to disconnect and leave her here. There was a long silence before he responded.

“Thank you… Operator.” His response was quiet, soft. She held him just a little tighter. The drone body didn't have many sensors, but the gesture was appreciated nonetheless.

She watched the shattered moon slowly make its way across the sky. “The moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?”

[godsfavoritescientist]

Bill Cipher: Lord of Hope (the homestuck classpect)

explanation for why I picked this classpect for him under the cut

First of all, a brief note on how I interpret classpects: I think classpect is heavily influenced by one's narrative role in a story. It's influenced by personality too, of course, but someone with the exact same personality could have a completely different classpect depending on how the story uses them.

Lord is an extremely powerful class reserved for the big-bad in homestuck. It means having unimaginable amounts of control over your aspect (which here is Hope). It's also a volatile, destructive, and self-serving class. It's also the mirror and opposite of the Muse class, which is equally powerful, but wielded passively for the benefit of others, often using methods more like setting up all the components of a rube goldberg machine behind the scenes, rather than the Lord's preferred method of steamrolling over things whenever possible.

Second note on my classpecting philosophy: Each aspect has an opposite, and I think these aspect pairs meaningfully influence each other by virtue of being on opposite ends of a continuum. You might even say they're opposite sides of the same concept.

Hope is the aspect of imagination, limitless possibilities, belief, and the literal meaning as well. It also has a ton of religious undertones. Its opposite aspect is Rage, which, other than the literal meaning, is all about doubt, skepticism, tearing down facades, and seeking the truth at all costs. It carries a deep disdain for the unfounded and the sugar-coated. Instead of living in a world of fanciful ideas, it cares about pushing past anything it sees as substance-less to uncover the way things really are, no matter how ugly the truth might be. They both need each other--without Hope, Rage becomes misery. Without Rage, Hope becomes completely disconnected from reality.

Which brings me to Bill. On the Hope-Rage spectrum, he's leaned so absurdly far towards Hope that he's convinced himself Rage doesn't even exist. In his reddit AMA, he literally says "lie until what you want to be true becomes true. Lie until you can't remember what's a lie and what isn't. Lie until you aren't lying anymore." I can't think of a better encapsulation of what it means to push the Hope aspect to its absolute extreme. He believes so much in the power of belief that he simply ignores any truths he doesn't like.

He embodies the Hope aspect in many other ways, too. Originally he was going to be more of a morally-neutral trickster character, whose whole purpose was just to show up randomly in Dipper's dreams and rattle off wild statements of questionable truth and conspiracy theories at him. The kind of things that people hope are true (sometimes to make the world seem more exciting and magical, sometimes for bigoted reasons, you know how it is with conspiracy theories), but the point is: Bill retains some of this in his canon personality. He tells Ford in the journal that the moon landing was fake. When he first meets Gideon, he says the whole "reality is an illusion" thing. He delights in sharing these kinds of things with people, and yeah, it's to fuck with them, but there's still something to be said about the fact that he accomplishes this through the use of things that exist as uncertain possibilities in people's minds, and things that some people have a strong belief in and/or hope to find proof of. He's wielding Hope as a tool, because that's when he's in his element.

Bill also preys on people's hopes and dreams, appearing to people literally inside their heads, and existing mainly in dreams and minds for billions of years--a place where you really can create anything you can imagine. He uses Ford's hopes of accomplishing something meaningful to get him to create a doomsday device. He also has Ford practically worshiping him, calling him a Muse with a capital M, calling his presence 'divine intervention'... the religious themes that often go hand-in-hand with the Hope aspect are definitely present. Of course a Lord would wield the Hope aspect to give himself worshipers who practically see him as a god.

And, speaking of doomsday devices, Weirdmageddon is the exactly what would happen in a world where the Hope aspect ran rampant without any laws or restrictions or concrete truths. In the codes of Journal 3, Bill says, "why should time only move forward, why must cause precede effect, who voted on the laws of physics - rules are perversions against all will, that's why I'm about to rewrite the whole system buddy, and no one is going to stop me."

We also get some insight into Bill's beliefs when we take a look as Mabel's dreambubble. He literally uses someone's hopes as a weapon against them, trapping her inside a twisted version of all the things that could've been true, if only the world was fueled by pure imagination, without any laws of physics or imperfect days or boring moments. Bill is so confident that this trap is infallible that he doesn't even bother to stop Dipper from trying to get her out once he makes it inside the dreambubble. Maybe the reason why Bill is so confident that this trap is inescapable is because he's pretty much trapped himself in a dreambubble of his own creation, where anything is possible and fantasy wins over reality every time (talking about the nightmare realm here), and was so intoxicated by the limitless lawlessness of the place that he spent billions of years trying to expand his little self-imposed prison to cover the rest of the multiverse, rather than ever stop to question himself or consider the consequences. Because with enough Hope, there are no consequences, only infinite possibilities limited only by your own imagination! ...right?

I could probably go on, but I think this is more than enough to support my case for Bill being a Lord of Hope. I'm always interested to hear about other classpect headcanons though!

[memoriavivens]

Gulool Ja

(In case you read that wrong, I’m talking about the kid, not the Dawnservant.)

I hope the patch storyline has a change of direction for this poor kid compared to what he got in the ending cutscenes. Him being king is a terrible decision, and not just because he’s too young to govern, the people don’t want him, it makes it look like Wuk Lamat is setting up a puppet government, or that monarchy is fundamentally an issue. No, the concern I’m here to talk about is what being king from such a young age would do to Gulool Ja himself. Being the leader of a nation is inherently dehumanizing. Look at the way real life world leaders are talked about. If people like them it’s typically because of what they do, not because of who they are. Their personal traits, if they are mentioned at all, will typically only be used to smear their reputation. And this is reasonable- it’s far more likely for instance that your president, prime minister, or similar figure will pass a law that affects your ability to live comfortably than it is that you will meet them in person and develop a friendship. But that’s modern elected officials, positions taken voluntarily and, on that level, almost always by people who know at least that much about what they’re getting into. A kingship is not like that. You will hold the position for life, and with your greater amount of power and visibility comes even further scrutiny on your actions. If Gulool Ja remains king, then from his extremely young age he will grow disconnected from himself- because the good rulers always end up joining the masses in setting aside their selves. Another point to briefly touch on before expanding upon the main one- Alexandria prior to this does not seem to genuinely be a monarchy. Their leader is a queen, yes, but there’s no line of succession and no feudal system beneath her, and even the way her people treat her and she treats them resembles more an exceptionally benevolent communist dictator than it does a monarch. (Also, am I the only person who was reminded more of the Soviet Union than the US by Alexandria? Granted that I’m not an expert on the Soviets, but still.) Sphene, of course, ties back in to the original point about how being the ruler is dehumanizing- I imagine the only people who might be unable to see this are those who are fully in on dehumanizing her to the point that they don’t see there’s more to her than a program in the first place, and even most of them probably get what I’m talking about. She became queen at a young age, much like Gulool Ja, and it ruined her life arguably twice over. She’s clearly an excellent queen under normal circumstances, but the programming forced upon her by preservation- which I see as a metaphorical representation of the obligations and pressures rulers face- caused no end of trouble for her. Really, it’s the root cause of all her bad decisions, and you can tell she knows this by how desperately she tries to find some out. But this isn’t a Sphene post and it would be better for everyone if I kept in-depth discussion of her to a dedicated space and kept this one about Gulool Ja. I’ve said my piece, so this is the end of the post.

[avocadotoastwithspicypepper-blog]

The Start

The start of everything and more for Charles and Anna.

Not really mature but references, directly mentions sex, + alcohol!

Series masterlist, here!

French translations:

“Veux-tu coucher avec moi?” -- "Do you want to sleep with me?"

“Oui, je veux vraiment coucher avec toi.” -- "Yes, I really want to sleep with you."

"Parfait." -- "Perfect."

"Je t'aime." -- "I love you."

WORD COUNT: 1k

enjoy

We made our way to his apartment around 10pm. The sun had set hours ago but we didn't make an effort to leave his boat so soon after. Our night was filled with music and deep conversations about our passions and about life.

The drive to his place was fast but everything seemed to be in slow motion. The moon's light combined with the street lights made him glow in the most stunning way I have ever seen.

As he laughed and looked over at me I couldn't help but think that I loved him. Not just for his looks but for everything. He can't be anything other than perfect. Not once has he been rude or made an off handed comment. He understands me and I understand him.

These feelings are so hard to define. I mean this is the first full day of knowing him. Yet, it feels like I have known him forever.

After we pulled into the garage and he took my hand, he led me towards the elevator. With our fingers interlaced I squeezed his hand and he gently squeezed mine back. We slowly ascended to the top of the apartment building.

I should be shocked but it makes sense to live in a penthouse if he already owns a yacht. 

His apartment opens up to a hallway where you can see a living room, I guess?

Still holding my hand, he shows me the actual living room, it is connected to the original room that I saw. 

“Stay here Anna,” He says as he disconnects our hands and walks through an adjacent doorway. 

“Of course, Charles” I lean back onto the bright white couch that he led me to. It is so comfy that I could sleep on it. 

He calls from the other room, "White or red?"

Without any hesitation I say, "white, of course."

"I agree!" Charles said laughing. He comes back from around the corner with two glasses and a bottle of Riesling. He sits down right next to me. So close that our knees are touching.

"Mmm, my favorite."

"Really?!" He says as he pours the wine into both of our glasses. "This is the only wine I'll drink."

"Charles this is crazy, I'm the same way." I pick up my glass and take a sip.

As he picks up his glass he glances over at me and smiles. His eyes crinkle into the cutest shapes.

"Any music suggestions?"

"Put on anything you like, I think I'll love it." And I do. The music reminds me of me, of home, of my life, essentially everything that I am.

I stand up with my wine glass and look over at Charles, who is now looking up and me.

"Let's dance I say," and extend my empty hand towards him. I look around the room, surely it'll be enough space to dance in.

He smiles the biggest I have seen so far and reaches up to grab my hand.

With our wine glasses in-between us we start laughing. The night is so perfect. We twirl, sway, kiss, and so much more. At some point we set our glasses down so we can hold on to each other.

One song in particular comes on, it is slow but more sensual than anything. We somehow get closer than before. The mood has clearly shifted in the air.

Looking up at Charles, I smile and press myself on his front. We start to kiss harder than earlier. It turns into us making out standing in the middle of his living room.

I know that the next step is sex but being me, I want to make sure that he really wants me. Maybe because this doesn't seem real. I'm not quire sure.

His mouth wanders to my neck, pressing soft but firm kisses into my skin. To anywhere he can reach.

"Do you really want me?"

After he processes what I asked he pulls away from me. He walks over to where we placed our wine glasses, picks his glass up and drinks the last swig.

I start to brace myself for the inevitable, "leave," to come. But it doesn't

“How can you look at me like that and think I’m not into you?”

“Well you can never be sure.”

“Are you serious?” He quickly approaches me, puts his hands on my shoulders, and stares into my eyes. 

“Yes,” I breathlessly say. 

He leans in closer that I expected him to. Right before our lips could connect. Centimeters apart.

“Veux-tu coucher avec moi?”

My heart skips a beat. I am thankful for knowing enough French.

"Are you sure now," Charles questions as his thumb grazes my bottom lip.

My lips part in absolute euphoria. Never have I been with someone so open and honest. I respond back with the only acceptable answer.

“Oui, je veux vraiment coucher avec toi.”

“Parfait” he whispers before our lips connect.

His hands are in my hair, my hands are wrapped around his neck. He breaks the kiss only for a second to lead me into his bedroom. We undress with the help of each other. Slowly slipping deeper and deeper into each other's grasp.

That night was the start of our relationship. The ups and downs that follow represent us as well. We are only as strong as our weakest moments and as weak as our strongest. As our bodies laid tangled after, I couldn’t stop thinking about more. I wanted more than just sex and I hoped and prayed for him to feel the same way. 

Little did I know that after I fell asleep, he turned over and whispered into my hair. 

“Je t’aime.”

Sometimes you just know.