#this is relevant because those are two pairings I am down with

[mountainofhistory]

Funny (and sort of random I suppose) little thought: if you ship MomiSana and ReiAya at the same time, that's practically Megumu's dream scenario, isn't it?

[mister-tom-a-dildo-lover]

I think a certain amount of etiquette is lost on people in fandom nowadays.

Just in general, but specifically I'm focusing on Tomarry/Harrymort right now because it's relevant my present issue.

I follow Tomarry/Harrymort content on here and Twitter. I am not always active, and I'm not always reacting to every single thing I see. But I see a lot of things and I keep my mouth shut most of the time.

In these past couple of months on Twitter, it's become really annoying to witness this particular subset of the fandom because people make posts that are not-so-subtly shading Tomarry/Harrymort writers every day.

People are so obsessed with how much they love the character and how much they love fanfiction that is true to the character, where they sound just like their canon self and don't seem any different, that they spend their days tearing down depictions of Harry Potter in fanfiction, that dare to stray away from abused, snow-white-angel, Quidditch-obsessed jock.

Many people seem to have forgotten that in the actual story, Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort would not get together. We ship two crack ships. They are things that have no hope in hell of ever happening in the canon story. To even write for Tomarry/Harrymort, we either have to change a few details, leave out a few details, or try to rework the existence of some details so they hit differently and make the pairing make sense for each individual fic.

This fandom purity nonsense has ended up with a lot of recent posts dogging on different kinds of HP tropes over the years and affecting authors.

A few weeks bacl it was 'the era of creature fics was cringe'. And then it was followed by a long list describing certain scenarios in certain stories that used these tropes, and I could immediately pick out which fics inspired these descriptions. There were people in the replies and the quotes land people who took screenshots to post to their own accounts to say shady things(including naming fics specifically!) without others being able to easily access them from the OG post itself.

I, personally, have outgrown creature fics in HP, and I'm not interested in reading them anymore. But I'm not sitting here making lists attacking the tropes involved in them. I'm not sitting here saying that they were stupid and corny, and they were the most unHarry Potter-like writings ever. And I'm not the one out here making the people who wrote those stories and get to see these kinds of comments coming from people in their fandom, feel bad.

IDK, but when So-So sees people bringing their 6-year-old fic up in a post dragging tropes in Tomarry/Harrymort fics, and they suddenly get the urge to just delete their fics entirely and not bother with the fandom anymore... maybe y'all need to learn how to word things better. It's really not that hard to say you're not into a specific thing anymore without having to drag other people down.

[paracosmic-murdock]

vigilante like me

chapter six: the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up

pairing: matt murdock x black widow!vigilante!reader

summary: nights and nights of playing the hero as if that could redeem you that easily ended up taking you to new york, where you accidentally met the man who would turn your world upside down. a vigilante like you.

warnings/tags: (this chapter contains smut, shower sex virginity loss, unprotected sex, minors dni) angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, injuries, violence, phd in applied flirting and ma in yearning studies, some smut (minors dni), takes place sometime during the blip, when born again comes out we might find out if my decisions of who were gone were right, spoilers/references of stuff and themes from daredevil (2015); avengers: infinity war (2018); avengers: endgame (2019) black widow (2021); and hawkeye (2021), but y'all must've watched all of those already so idc, yelena belova and the themes and events from the black widow (2021) movie are very relevant in this plot, song: cowboy like me (taylor swift)

word count: 3.3K

✰ chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter seven

✰ mila's anthology (main masterlist)

He left the kit on his bed and went back to you, helping you stand up and walking you to his bathroom.

“May I?”

“You don't have to do that.”

Matt chuckled. “You did this for me once, and I was in kind of a better shape than you are now. Just… allow me.”

“Okay,” you agreed, knowing he was right and that you needed to be clean so he you could patch you up and avoid infections. You were too injured and bloody and couldn't risk it. “I liked these jeans.”

“Yeah, maybe they can be ripped jeans now,” he proposed, an optimistic grin plastered on his face.

“I've learned a thing or two about fashion trends, and let me tell you: apparently, ripped jeans are completely hideous today.”

“I guess you're a well-dressed lady.”

You laughed. “When it matters, yes I am.”

“Were you well dressed today?” he asked, taking off your black sports sneakers.

“Not really,” you replied. “Nothing important going on.”

“Hey,” he called you. “I am sorry about what I said last night.”

You gave him half a smile, putting your hand on his chest. “Are you?”

“I am sorry.”

“I'm sorry too,” you apologized, surprising yourself. “I just… I've learned who you are, and I know you aren't one to give up. You were there tonight, Matt. This is something that can happen countless times because I've done pretty fucked up things. Whether I was in control of my actions or not, I did it and I can't ignore that. I don't want my shit to affect you or for me to be… measured the same way that you are.”

“It's okay, I get it,” Matt helped you take off your oversized white, blood stained t-shirt. “We both have skeletons in our closets.”

You smiled weakly, now taking off your jeans with difficulty. “I guess so.”

Then, there was silence.

Matt guided you to his shower and turned it on. The water was hot, almost too hot, so, while you waited until the temperature was just right to get under the stream, he took his clothes off too. Now, you were both in your underwear and the idea of him and you like that made your cheeks go warm.

Just like you did to him the other day, Matt washed your hair with care. It was so intimate you wanted to throw up, and he seemed to realize how the moment was affecting you but said nothing.

“Govnyuk,” you muttered when his hands touched a wound above your right breast. “It hurt.”

“Sorry,” Matt whispered. “This one is pretty bad.”

“That makes me feel better.”

He shook his head, taking your right hand in his and put it on the left side of his chest. “I have the same one. Credits to a ninja named Nobu. It was really bad, I think it makes it to the top five of my worst moments.”

You traced the shape of it with the tip of your finger and did the same with a similar one on the other side.

Matt turned around. “He did those, too.”

“They're awful,” you noted. He laughed, turning to you again.

You took his left hand and drove it to your upper right thigh. “There was a tracker here to keep me on sight. When Yelena, my friend and another Black Widow, freed me, I stabbed myself to take it out.”

“Contrary to what you might think, I can't dodge every bullet,” he explained when he drove your hand to his right bicep.

“I was in Novi Grad when Yelena found me,” you said as you put his hand on your right lower back. “I had a partner, Emilia. Our job was to make sure the big guys never forgot they were under the rules of Dreykov, the director of the Red Room. Emilia died during the infamous Battle of Sokovia; a robot shot her to death and shot me here,” you continued, then made his thumb meet the little scar on the side of your index finger. “You know, Wanda Maximoff, the Avenger, had a twin brother, Pietro. Nobody knows him or what he did, but I do. He spent three seconds taking me to a safer location, then told me he was free on Saturday for a dinner date I now owed him for saving me,” You laughed a little. “Hours later, I found out he took dozens of bullets to save Clint Barton and a little boy. Don't tell him, but I teared up a little when I found out that the guy who used to flirt with me in the market twice a week was dead. I got this one when I was peeling a plum there because I got distracted telling him that he looked ridiculous with his hair bleached. He didn't.”

“I don't even remember how I got this one,” He chuckled, showing you one on his left side. “Just another beating one night.”

“Knife training in the Red Room,” you said, showing him various scars on your abdomen, thighs, and back. “We gave each other a bunch of these when we were practicing. Or some other times, when we were forced to fight each other until there was only one left standing. I was always that one; that's why I am alive today.”

“A building fell on me,” he added as if it was nothing while showing you other scars throughout his torso and a few on his thigh. “Some guys and I were trying to defeat The Hand, an evil-”

“Oh, that was you?” You smiled, almost proudly. “Congrats on defeating them, Dreykov considered them the competition.”

“Thank you, it wasn't easy, but it's done.” he smirked, and just then you noticed how close you were.

“Here,” You cleared your throat. You rested his hand on your left breast, making unnecessary contact with most of it as the scar was almost on the valley between them. “I got in a lot of trouble in Madripoor. In Moscow,” you continued, driving his other hand to your hip, right on your underwear. “Even New Asgard, as peaceful as it seems. I used to be a mess after Yelena disappeared along with half of us.”

Matt caressed your skin as you spoke, causing goosebumps all over your body. Your brain couldn't comprehend how you were truly feeling; all you knew is that you didn't want it to end. Neither did him, as seconds later his hands went to your neck to lift your face softly. He got closer in what felt like an eternity, and finally, Matt closed the almost non-existent gap between your lips.

Your first kiss, actually.

With all that happened to you, you never considered dating or meeting anybody. You thought you weren't reluctant to the idea, but caught yourself rejecting every person that asked you out. Therefore, you have never had real dates, kissed anybody, and much less had sex.

Being in the shower with the first man that ever ignited something in you, ironically both anger and attraction, made you want it. Crave it, even.

You moaned his name when he broke the kiss and drove his lips to your neck.

“Is this okay?”

With your breath all heavy and your heart losing a race to a lioness, you nodded. “Yes. Please.”

Matt kept kissing your neck, even going lower, careful not to get close to your open wounds. His touch muted all the pain, all long forgotten, as he moaned between each little bite. “Can I take this off?”

You hummed, letting him get rid of your soaked white and bloody sports bra.

He moaned your name. “I'll take care of you.”

“Call me it,” you told him, just like an order.

“Call you what?”

“You know,” You gripped his hair. “Sweetheart.”

“Oh, sweetheart?” Matt smirked. While you couldn't see him, you felt on the skin of your breasts the shape of his lips changing. “You're driving me insane, sweetheart.”

The sole sound of that term went from offending you to making your underwear wet with more than water.

“Oh, God,” he groaned, desperate, as your scent filled his nostrils suddenly. His lips left your nipples and went south slowly, torturing himself with the lazy rhythm. “Fuck, sweetheart-”

On his way down, now on his knees, Matt's lips stumbled upon a scar right above the black lace panties he so desperately wanted to take off.

“This one-”

Matt hushed you and traced the silhouette of your scar with kisses. He ignored the origin of it, but didn't say a word. Whatever it is, he knows it's not one to take lightly. “It's okay.”

Your hands stayed in his hair, stroking it. His played with the hem of your panties. “Do it, Matt.”

He took them off in a hurry, like he was being hunted. Hunted by the despair of tasting you for once.

Now, your scent was stronger, more invasive. Matt felt himself go hard only by imagining how it would feel to eat you out. However, he began gently kissing your thighs and meeting the scars on your legs, tracing their shapes as he passed by them. Most of them were almost completely faint, which made him realize there must've been years since you first got them. Matt wondered how long you were in the Red Room and how old you were when they began to turn you into that version of yourself you wanted to erase but don't seem to be able to leave behind.

“Can I taste you?”

You frowned but nodded, trying your best not to give away the fact that you had no experience at all. Thankfully, Matt didn't seem to notice it, or at least not yet. Not when he was incredibly busy pushing you against the walls of his shower and putting your left leg on his shoulder to get a better access to you.

He was absolutely enraptured by you and had no idea how he hadn't devoured you just yet; something inside him was telling him this was a memorable moment. When will he ever get to taste you, the woman that's had him on a chokehold for numerous reasons, for the first time again? Dear God, Matt felt like he had never wanted anybody as much as he wanted you… every attempt to push him away or insult him only made him grow more attracted to you. It was like you had some sort of string tied to him and you, and each time you interacted it grew thicker but shorter. Matt could feel physically empty whenever your interactions concluded without resolving the tension of the string—which shrinks more by the second—, and it would leave a pain in his chest, one more agonizing than all of those that have left him on the verge of death altogether. Because you were killing him in a way no tangible death could ever compare.

You looked at him, seeing how his right hand caressed the skin of your thigh delicately. The tip of his fingers was so dedicated to cherishing you somehow, giving special attention to everything that would make you flawed to any other. Matt's lips kissed your inner thighs affectionately, making you wetter and hotter with every graze of his beard on your sensitive, heated complexion. His other hand was on your hip, but in the blink of an eye, the both went to your ass and groped it hard enough to leave behind residual pain in the shape of his fingers but not to the loss of intimacy. You wondered how he could make you feel that way, but your thoughts went blank when he pulled you closer to him and gave you a long, agonizing lick.

“Oh, my God!” you almost yelled, never imagining, not in a million years, that a human being could make another feel this good. He moaned at the taste of you, the sound producing small vibrations that enhanced the pleasure Matt was giving you.

His eyes went to yours while he licked and sucked your cunt that had never known such a feeling. Your eyes stayed locked on his, even when he wasn't seeing the erotic, blissed expression dancing on your face, the hunger and devotion were crystal clear on his, all for you to gaze at. Surely, you did. Knowing what you provoked in him made you even wetter, making Matt groan; it was all so sensual and indulgent that you fought the urge to ask if he would tell a priest about this in his next confession, or maybe if he enjoyed it enough to go to Hell for it without a single regret.

If Matt's sin of choice was wrath, yours might as well be lust. Now that you experienced it, you know you would never give it up; you don't really have a chance to go to Heaven nevertheless.

“Does that feel good, sweetheart?” he asked, voice smokier than usual.

“Yes, fuck,” You gripped his hair and pulled him closer to you. His cocky chuckle didn't make you wait, and, while normally it would drive you insane in a bad way, right now it was the sweetest thing on Earth, Heaven, and Hell. “Rodnoy, please.”

The sudden switch to Russian turned him on. He would be embarrassed by it if he didn't have you at his mercy right above him. “What was that, sweetheart?”

You couldn't utter a word as you felt how his middle finger joined his mouth in the quest of pleasuring you. First, it teased you as if he were making fun of you in the cruelest of ways. Then, he put in two of his fingers at once.

The feeling was strange: pain and ecstasy both, blending together and taking over your whole body. The pain seemed to be the outside effect, as with every thrust of his fingers the pain of your previous injuries awoke for a brief second. The inside effect was the ecstasy, which traveled through every inch of your body to the degree that you could feel the yearning boiling your blood, frying your brain, burning your heart. Now what you truly needed was a release for all of that, and you felt closer and closer to the edge.

Matt's other hand left your thigh, and your eyes followed its path with attention. It landed on the only piece of clothing left separating you from equality of conditions. You saw how he took it off and then his attention went back to you.

You couldn't decipher what the look in his eyes meant, he looked somehow urged and furious, and then left you unattended. You thought that maybe he didn't like it that you were inspecting his every movement. Curiosity killed the cat, as they say.

Though, seconds later, Matt stood up and searched for signs of consent. He found them in the heat of your body, completely unrelated to the stream of warm water falling from the shower head. He found them in the beat of your heart, fast enough to mock having twice as many. He found them in the new flow of arousal leaving you at the thought of you completely naked and ready to do something you were ignorant of, and the weight of intimidation at your belief of him wanting to punish you for witnessing something you shouldn't have.

But Matt kissed you, the softness and care of the beginning long forgotten as his lips captured yours, his teeth collided with your own, and his tongue craved to fill you. And sure he did.

“Matt, Matt,” you cried out his name, feeling him get inside you slowly. “God…”

They also say that the satisfaction brought the cat back.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Matt groaned, his voice almost inaudible. “You feel so good. You taste so good… Fuck.”

“Fuck me,” you ordered, knowing how much you needed it and that you could take it. “Fuck me. Show me how much you want me.”

He pressed his forehead against yours and held you by the hips, and then obeyed you as if you had a say in his life. “I've wanted you since the moment I met you.”

“Yeah?” You felt your wounds open slightly at the brusque thrusts of him, but didn't consider stopping him, not even for a second.

“Yes,” he confirmed. The fresh smell of blood hit him. “Are you okay?”

You hummed and nodded urgently. “I'm perfect. Don't stop.”

“I have to… pull out, sweetheart,” he notified you as he realized he was about to come.

“Don't do it,” you countered, taking his hand and driving it to the large scar on your lower abdomen. “It's okay.”

Matt understood right away.

“I want you to come for me,” he said, approaching your lips to kiss you. The hand that was on your scar traveled south and drew circles on your clit. You felt yourself about to pass out. Or pass away.

Either way, what a way to die, you thought as you came undone. You screamed his name along a series of oh, God's, and found yourself shaking and sweating.

His neighbors are sick of hearing it.

Matt thought they should get used to the sound of your voice, because he wasn't planning on letting you go, even if it cost him his life and sent him straight to Hell.

Then, he came too, moaning and panting like an exhausted animal.

“Wow,” you muttered. He pulled out of you. “That was-”

He smirked. “Yeah, it was.”

“Yeah. I think I'm gonna faint in a second, though.”

“Stay strong a little more, alright? Let me clean you up.”

You nodded, and he drove you under the shower again. Matt cleaned you, making you flinch as he touched the areas he had overstimulated a minute ago.

“Can I ask you something?”

“I might lie.” you joked.

“I'll know,” he replied, knowing damn well he couldn't.

“Okay, shoot.”

“Was this your first time?”

The smallest gasp left your mouth. “What? Why are you asking me that? How would you even know that?!”

“Hey, it's just a question!” He defended himself. “You bled a little, that's how I know.”

“Well, I'm not a virgin. You're delusional.”

Matt laughed, guiding you out of the shower and putting a towel on you.

You walked to his room and once you were both sitting on his bed, Matt opened the kit and took out the tools he would need.

“Can I take you out for dinner as soon as you're a hundred percent alright?”

“Make a wish,” you told him. “I'm about to agree to a date for the first time in my life. One with you.”

He stayed silent for a few seconds. “Can I tell you my wish?”

You hummed as he began stitching the wound above your breast. “Tell me.”

“I wish for you to be a hundred percent alright as soon as possible.”

“Cute,” you noted with a smirk.

The process of him patching you up was filled with small talk and flirting. You found it ridiculous to see yourself in that situation, but you wouldn't want it any other way, to be honest.

Once he finished, he gave you one of his t-shirts and helped you put it on.

Matt left and then went back with two phones in his hand. “Save your number.”

“Aw, you want my contact in your burner phone, rodnoy?”

“I want your contact in my burner phone, yes,” he confirmed with a smile. “And what does that mean?”

You did as he asked you. “It's Russian for sweetheart.”

Matt chuckled and cupped your face. “You're cute.”

“Oh, don't you dare tell anybody, Devil.”

“I won't.” And he kissed you softly.

When you pulled away, he made you lie down on his bed and covered you with his steel blue silk bed sheets.

“Fyodor was supposed to be my friend,” you said suddenly. Matt lied right beside you, holding you close. “But he drugged me and then left me at the mercy of a man who wanted to avenge the person who stood there forcing me to kill my friends when I was a little girl in the Red Room. That's what happened tonight.”

He felt like he had never been so consumed by wrath in his entire life.

[moonlitphoenixflight]

In Stars and Time AU with shapeshifting aliens (Of Void and Light) [part 5]

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4]

Its time for The King and Siffrin! I've been debating whether I want to reveal my personal headcanons for their original names. I'm going to because I don't know if I'm going to finish/post the other fic so I don't know if saving the surprise is meaningful.

And, if by any slim chance anyone is inspired by any AUs or ideas I have and wants to make a creation: PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLE-- I would be very eager to see it please tag me!

Finally, when I say non canon compliant, I am specifically referring to when something actively conflicts with information directly presented as canon.

The Traveler, The King, and The Fallen Star

In the kingdom of Xiriel, it is known to be a truth that heirs to the Iridescency family are always born in pairs. It used to be known that another truth is that only one of the two will survive to adulthood.

One day, the current ruler of Xiriel, Queen Vitris, announced that new heirs had hatched. The Light twin, named Nynrael, and the Void twin, named Ozephyr. The forms they were given were those of humans, for that was the sentient species that lived on the planet Xiriel was anchored to.

The pair were raised as all heirs were, to value power, to hate, to compete with each other. This is not what they did. Instead of sabotaging each other in their studies, they helped each other when when they struggled. Instead of hurting each other to collect opposing essence, they developed ways to give away excess. Light essence could be released in a gaseous form via breathing. Void essence, being somewhat more viscous, could be released as liquid through tears.

Often, the two were punished for their kindness to each other, they were told that they would only be betrayed in the end. This did not dissuade them. When their tutors did this, they would work together to annoy, irritate, and prank them into quitting. Eventually through this method, they were able to find tutors that di not force them to be rivals. Their names were Lexari and Shalyre (they aren't incredibly relevant but I wanted to put them in here).

Nynrael, the Light twin, excelled in shapeshifting, practical magic and combat, and creative arts. With an excellent memory, they would pour over anatomy books, and come up with ways to combine parts in ways that would function as a cohesive whole. After just a few years of combat training, he could best most experts in a spar. They could often be found sketching ideas, or carving small trinkets to decorate the room they shared with they twin.

Ozephyr, the Void twin, favored theoretical subjects, being proficient in magic theory, politics, and engineering. Papers he secretly published anonymously revolutionized many magical techniques. Frequently, he would manage to bring up an idea for a policy or law to an advisor in just the right way that they would bring it up to the Queen, occasionally getting it put into place. Often he would create gadgets, or sneak down to the anchor with his twin to observe how it functioned.

One day, the two snuck out, still in their pajamas, as they always do. They made their way to the sort of spectral elevator connecting the moonship to the anchor on the planet, as they always do. Nynrael sat down to work on a project, a carving of some sort of animal, while Ozephyr started deactivating the wards on the core, as they always do. What was different this time was what Ozephyr discovered regarding the core, the anchor, the siphon.

He found out the way it stole the energy of thousands of worlds, how it would do the same to the planet they were on, and many more, if left unimpeded.

He immediately shared the information with his sibling, and they got to work thinking of a solution. Despite their proficiency in their chosen skills, they were still children, with little experience to inform them of the consequences of their actions. Combined with them having never been taught anything that would cause them to do otherwise, they made a very specific decision.

They decided that they were going to stop the siphon from causing any more damage. They decided that the best way to deactivate it permanently would be to have Nynrael Consume the core.

What Ozephyr had not yet discovered about the core was its nature as a Star. The other thing that Ozephyr had not discovered was that should the anchor be disconnected, there was a precaution put in place. It was put there under the assumption that if the anchor was disconnected prematurely, it would be because it had been discovered what the Xiriel moonship was doing, and they would need to flee.

(A semi-non-canon-compliant aspect) When the precaution activated, it cast a curse of memory, so that any proof of Xiriel's presence would be either erased entirely, or obscured under so many layers of magic that to even glance at it would cause a splitting headache. Because it would be assumed that the anchor would only be disconnected when all citizens of Xiriel were on the moonship, there was no exception to let changelings be unaffected by the curse.

The twins were separated by the ensuing explosion, with the spell causing them to lose their memories. They woke up alone, with no way of obtaining the essence they needed to keep their own from eventually destabilizing and taking a tolls on their mental states.

With no other options, they relearned how to exist. The Void twin, with his mind degraded by his unstable Void essence, eventually started freezing the country of Vaugarde in time. The Light twin, lasting a small time longer due to the Void energy lingering within the siphon core, began looping in time shortly before reuniting with the Void twin.

(actively very non-canon-compliant) When the time loops of the Light twin started, The Star within them woke up. It saw the situation the Light twin was in, and chose to manifest, to help them. It created an identity for itself, and begun guiding the Light twin.

I have some things for post-game as well, so that will be part 6.

[txttletale]

bundletober #13: blazing hymn

alright i've fallen behind on bundletober (the series of blog posts where i review and talk about a ttrpg i got in a bundle every day) and am hoping to make up the difference by putting out two entries today. this is the first one, and i'm looking at the mecha-piloting, synthetic-armour wearing, blaspheming-against-God-and-his-angels game blazing hymn by peach garden games.

now sadly this game is not a lyric/blackout poetry game about rewriting church hymns to be about gay sex. someone should make that btw. no it's just about wearing highly advanced battlesuits powered by the song of your heart to kill aliens with weapons of pure energy. which is about as cool.

first off, the layout of this game is unique and stylish. there are hexagons everywhere:

the game puts sparse splashes of dreamy pastel colours amid a constantly shifting set of black and white hexagons. it gives the book a visual identity that is at once both visually distinct and also changing massively from page to page. it's a really cool way to mix things up and keep you wanting to turn the page if just to keep seeing what the next one even looks like.

what's the game about? simple. angels have come to earth to destroy it badly. with the power of song, young people can power specially designed battlesuits, called Hymnals, that when not activated collapse down into crystal necklaces. it's a pretty anime concept--the game is pretty open about being inspired by Evangelion and Symphogear, neither of which i've actually seen--but it's cool as hell. the aesthetics of the layout really help bring the aesthetics of the game itself, of technology and ethereal mysticism merged into one thing, to life.

the game uses a pretty simple three-stat system where you build dice pools with a state relevant to an action and can get a full success, mixed success, or failure, depending on what you roll. your characters have two resources, Health, which is what it sounds like, and Gain, which is essentially magical power. because you can swap Health for Gain and Gain for Health at a 1-1 ratio with no restrictions, i'm not really sure why they're separate things--seems like a missed opportunity to not only simplify the mechanics but also create a strong mechanical narrative element by making Gain the only thing that keeps you going--once your song is silenced, you're out.

to create a character, you pick from one of six unit classes--here's where i'd describe the six classes, but honestly, they don't quite feel distinct enough. a lot of the powers you can pick for each hymnal class feel very similar, or are outright overlapping in a lot of cases. this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but the descriptions of the hymnals, while trying to clarify their combat roles, all end up seeming to repeat themselves or say contradictory things. i think some direct ties between those descriptions and their mechanics would have helped--i'd find it a lot easier to remember that, for example, the 05 Xyston type "brutal in combat" if that flavour text was followed by a direct reference to one or more of its abilities. they do all have pretty different stats--which, in a game with a very simple and elegant combat system, means i'm confident they play very differently once you hit the table. but just looking at them, as a prospective player, i struggle to tell the difference.

i don't have that problem with the next character creation mechanic, though, which is choosing the songs you sing to power your hymnal. each song, as well as a thematically appropriate set of stat boosts, also prompts a pair of revealing character questions. they're the kind of mechanic that i want to get my hands on because they make it fun to create characters, giving real mechanical expression to the emotional fundamentals of who they are.

the combat system itself seems really, really good. it's astoundingly simple--you're encouraged to use a map, but there's no fiddly grid or distance tracking, just the ability to move between being Close, Near, or Far from an enemy. it keeps the numbers low to keep it getting silly and doesn't bother with any of the unecessary bookkeeping and fiddliness that plagues TTRPG combat as a whole. no initiative, no separate turns--there's a 'player' turn and a GM turn, and during the GM turn the GM picks from enemy's listed actions until they've done two for each player. players can use their abilities on the GM turn, and the game encourages the GM to take enemy actions that wil lforce them to--so nobody's ever standing around twiddling their thumbs waiting for the whole table to rotate back to them, and having a lot of enemies doesn't mean the players listen to the GM talk for fifteen minutes.

there's two unique mechanics that i think are very interesting-- Civilians and Condemnation. Civilians are--well, exactly what they sound like. on their turn, players can use an action to evacutate up to 5 of them. this extremely small and simple mechanic is fucking genius. so many games tell you they're about saving innocent people, but yet the only mechanical verbs you have to interact with anyone are violent ones. as elaine scarry says in the body in pain:

so in a way i think blazing hymn puts its money where its mouth is in a way very few combat rpgs with emancipatory or heroic aspirations bother. angels are said to attack populated areas--you're sent to preserve life as well as destroy the enemy. it makes the game feel fundamentally different, like despite the questionable ethics of hymnals (after all, they only work on young people, who then have to be sent into deadly combat situations) there is something heroic you can do.

the second cool mechanic is condemnation, a reality-warping toxin that angels use to destroy the places they're sent to. this rocks because it adds a ticking timer to the battlefield, a passive threat that forces the player characters to be proactive. if condemnation gets too high, not only is the fight going to get harder, but civilians are going to die en masse. it's a great piece of game design that gives the GM a great lever to pull for pacing and urgency.

i also really like that one of the steps of the GM turn is to 'change the situation', whether that means something happens in the narrative or something on the map changes (a train arriving is the example the book gives) or more angels attack. in general, one of my biggest complaitns about d&d is that unless a DM takes it upon themselves to design additional mechanics and encounters outside of anything the game actually gives them, combat inevitably turns into two lines of people hitting each other with sticks until one of them dies. i love dynamic, progressing combat, combat where the stakes change moment to moment. and blazing hymn delivers.

anything else? oh yeah, the angel designs are cool as fuck.

god damn. anyway despite a few minor issues with the hymnals themselves, the core of blazing hymnal is fucking good, a nice tight and razor-sharp combat system wrapped up in pulsing pastel crystalline aesthetics. if you like cool anime fights and like having the rules to back it up but hate complexity, crunch, and tedium, this might be the perfect game for you. it's certainly given me a lot of cool design ideas to take foreward into my own projects.

blazing hymn is available for purchase as a digital download through itch.io

[snorkling-in-sodasea]

Establishing Couples in Hazbin: Stolitz Season 1

Finally got around to this. I decided to make this post just season one and save the post for season two until January, when season two should be over, if that schedule's right. But it's just amazing how much material I got to work with in just one season in how much of a mismatched pair they are. I think I'll split this topic up in a post per season, in fact, because of the sheer amount of what I got to work with. Also, I'll be bringing up at some points of my post the whole 'Stolas is autistic' thing that plenty of fans like to go with; I'd like to say that I don't mean any insults to anyone when I mention it. And I don't know if this will amount to anything but it might be important to inform you all that I myself actually am autistic. Also, I'll probably derail a little bit here and there because I'm a spontaneous typer here. Now for anyone and everyone okay with a Stolitz/Stolas roasting, let's get started.

I might as well go in order of appearances that Stolas and Blitz make together, including phone calls. That's probably good because the only interaction that they have in the pilot (maybe the pilot's non-canon but, as far as I know and feel, it's selective which parts of a pilot are canon and which ones aren't) The phone call was funny to me at the time but that was probably before Stolas's woobifying process or whatever it's called. (Yeah, there's bound to be people who don't like that type of humor but at least it was for sure a joke instead of a back and forth double standard kind of bullshit). Still, Blitzo showed how much he didn't like it, even getting Loona's help for it

2. Starting up the series proper, there's Murder Family. Specifically, the scene when Blitzo is being hunted down by Martha and a little detail when he's talking to Mayberry.

First up, Blitzo has an alarm system for his employees to intervene when something gets too much for him. One of the buttons is for Stolas. For. STOLAS. As in, Blitzo would press that button if Stolas was there and made him feel too uncomfortable and/or unsafe thanks to this damn owl.

Then there's the bigger scene with being chased down by Martha. Stolas is watching Blitzo through the bubbles. He can see what's happening. His arm wound is even visible to Stolas. Even if not, it can't be that hard to figure out something's wrong when the person you're calling is whispering 'now's not a good time'. This damn owl decides none of that matters and makes a phone call. This is the biggest damning moment that all those claims that Stolas didn't realize what he was doing really does become impossible, or at the very, very, very least, get so improbable that it's almost impossible. (Although for the second thing, I still don't get how so I'm probably giving this too much credit by even entertaining the thought)

Anyways, I'll get into more detail about this specific moment because it's relevant for Apology Tour but, should I watch the bathtub scene, I can't see how Stolas is completely oblivious to what he's doing. Especially if Stolas initially let Blitzo just have the book at first and would still have ensured contact if Stolas bothered to just flex his social position and go wherever he wants, whenever he wants. It's not like Viv gives Stolas a lot of responsibilities in the show anyways. (Seriously, the Full Moon Festival in episode 5 and the paperwork in a fucking music video, which people can easily miss if they're not compelled to watch it, is literally the only two times we ever see Stolas do anything resembling a job). I can't see any reason whatsoever as to why this just had to be sexual

There's also the part that Stolas managed to talk for hours without Blitzo ever responding back to him. I would have expected someone who loved me to eventually want to know if I'm listening to him and ever say something to them sometimes, especially over a fucking phone call. Yet Stolas just went on and on and, considering he purposely picked when Blitzo was being shot at to propose the sex deal. That says to me that Stolas is so focused how horny Stolas himself is that he can't even be bothered to see if Blitzo made it out the whole 'being-shot-at' thing alive so that Blitzo can fuck him at a later date

3. Next is Loo Loo Land. To be honest, I loved this episode when it came out but, just like the phone call in the pilot, this was before the woobifying and this was the first time Stolas has done his disgusting shit. As a result, I didn't think about it that hard and I didn't expect Stolas to keep repeating his mistakes since you normally expect fictional characters to mess up in a certain way once and never again. If it is going to happen again, then it either needs to build up to something or be executed differently than the first time.

Anyways, Stolas was being yelled at by Stella, looking like it was for the cheating. Eventually, that specific fight comes to pass and Stolas tries to talk to Octavia. He gets the idea to go to an amusement park she used to love but makes it obvious that she has no desire to go now that she's a teenager. I heard that someone made the argument that, believing Stolas to be autistic, it meant that he couldn't tell that Octavia didn't want to go because she's a sarcastic teenager and sarcasm is hard to tell apart from sincerity and Stolas rarely interacts with anyone. I'm not buying that. I'm not saying it's impossible but it's highly improbable. It's incredibly rare for anything to truly be impossible so things are just improbable depending on what you're talking about. So I find it highly improbable that a thirty-something year old man would still not recognize that Octavia isn't excited to go, autism or not. Even if you can't tell by words, you can at least tell by attitude and demeanor so Stolas still should've been able to tell, especially by the time he reaches adult age. (Sorry, ended up going off on a tangent but the next paragraph shows that I felt the need for extra context and I provided that to some degree)

Besides, autism or not, it's still a damn stupid plan that Stolas has. He seems to want to have Blitzo there to flirt with at any moment he pleases and to have a happily distracted daughter that he can sometimes give attention to, because at least the first time ends up happening. Thing is, considering what has made Octavia so upset in the damn first place, then Stolas wasn't going to accomplish or obtain both things that he wanted, especially in the way that he tried. It's obvious in how it failed for Octavia but it failed with Blitzo, too. Stolas simply didn't have to deal with that like he had to deal with Octavia because it's her who reached her limit, not him. Still, how it failed with Blitzo is that he was not receptive to the the touches and he didn't look happy at any point of time. What's more, it's a bit of evidence that goes into Blitzo's ultimate feelings as revealed in Full Moon

4. Next is Harvest Moon Festival, starting with Blitzo and Stolas having sex in his palace, mansion, whatever. The point is - and this is another tangent about something else entirely so feel free to skip this paragraph if you want - it's Octavia's home, not just Stolas's, and Stolas is still having sex with the guy she's afraid would leave him behind. Maybe Stolas thinks that Octavia is fine with him having sex with Blitzo because she's reassured that he won't abandon her. Except it comes off as disrespectful towards her if Stolas is continuing his affair in their shared home because he thinks everything's hunky-dory now that they had all that crap in Loo Loo Land sorted out and it'll never be a problem again. (Considering how little Octavia shows up in the series, only ever showing up for extra angst on Stolas's part, then maybe it somehow really isn't a problem. It's not like the characters are typically written like how people logically react to specific shit, anyways.)

Anyways, Blitz only ever looked happy talking to Stolas when thinking about going to the Harvest Moon Festival, something that he easily could've heard from Millie or even Moxxie. So it's not like Stolas was all that special in this instance of anything resembling happiness in Stolas's presence. Not to mention, Blitzo immediately gets to a more agitated state when he feels the need to tell Stolas to not get kinky with him. It's kind of telling that Blitzo legit feels the need to tell him that. Like he can't trust Stolas to restrain himself otherwise

After all, Stolas is already so fucking horny just by watching Blitzo. Blatantly sending flirtations to him in the audience, announcing him the winner with the not preferred name which pretty much embarrassed him, and it got to the point where Blitzo didn't want to stick around much longer if there's gonna be nothing but a thirsty-ass owl on stage. Blitzo couldn't make his discomfort any more obvious throughout the entire time he's at the games, should it come up, so Stolas has to be willfully ignoring all of it or is the stupidest fucker in all of their universe to not notice anything wrong

5. After this is Truth Seekers, when Stolas came in to rescue I.M.P. He started it off with 'impish, little plaything'. No matter what the reason he had for saying it, it's a demeaning phrase specifically pointing out race so how else is Blitzo supposed to see it? Does Stolas genuinely think it's a cute, little pet name?

Then there's Stolas actually chewing out Blitzo for getting in trouble with D.H.O.R.K.S. Stolas is the one who has been watching for who knows how long and just let them handle it until they couldn't. If Stolas is gonna let I.M.P. deal with the against the agents and take his time helping, if he's gonna do it at all, then it feels like he's in the wrong for chastising them. Even though I probably can't explain that very well, Stolas definitely doesn't have the right to lecture Blitzo about carelessness when he's the one who just lends the all important grimoire for sex. If anything, Stolas is a hypocrite for getting upset about carelessness when lending out the book for sex to an imp is its own brand of carelessness. After all, the damn book is supposed to be Stolas's responsibility and no one else's. The point is, Stolas is basically blaming Blitzo for something that's more Stolas's fault than anyone else's and it's not good for their 'relationship' if Stolas's go to thoughts for anything wrong is that it's all entirely Blitzo's fault and that Stolas himself never contributed to any of it. Let's not forget how Stolas just touches Blitzo however he wanted and Blitzo just glares. I also read or heard a good point somewhere that Blitzo doesn't protest but still looks unhappy, highly likely because he gave up trying to establish boundaries. He knows that Stolas won't listen. I thought initially that Blitzo knew that he's in trouble with Stolas so he just takes whatever Stolas wants to do to him because protesting against it just makes him more upset. What I thought was sad but giving up establishing boundaries because you know they won't be respected is even sadder

Finally, Stolas asks for a reward for saving Blitz. That's so as fuck not a thing that 'kind' people do. Kind people don't even think about an award for what they do. At best, they just wish to not be given an attitude by the people they attempt to help. People who genuinely love another person also don't expect anything from the person they love to give any awards; it's already award enough to see them happy and well. Stolas doesn't refuse the offer for sex, either, so that's another thing against him for that 'relationship' he wants later down the line

Oh, and I guess there's the trip that Blitzo ended up going on thanks to the truth serum. Particularly the part where he sees Stolas being on his fancy-ass throne and pulling Blitzo by the chains and collar. Wouldn't be surprised if he feels trapped. Really, the only 'romance' that be detected as if you had kink or a fetish for, at best, dubiously consensual situations. But for an actual relationship, I doubt it's normal for someone to feel trapped and needing to serve the other. Stolas's actual actions after the trip is bound to not have helped that perception in the slightest, either

6. Finally, there's Ozzie's. Blitz first thinks of using Stolas to get into Ozzie's to spy on Millie and Moxxie. (So weird how no one ever brings this up when holding Blitzo accountable for what he did to Stolas. Other than seducing him for the book and stealing it, this is the only other thing that comes to mind on the actual shitty things Blitzo did to Stolas). Blitzo never worded it like he wanted to go on a date, though. He just asked to go to a club. It was Stolas who decided to interpret it that way. It is douchey for Blitzo to never correct it because it's apparently that important for him to not even give Millie and Moxxie a single night to themselves (I really hate that this never amounts to anything)

Things get bad, though, when the heat is on Blitzo and, by extension, Stolas when Blitzo tried defending Moxxie. Not only did Stolas never do a single, solitary thing to defend Blitzo when he was being harassed like how Millie did for Moxxie but there was a point where Stolas legitimately tried to run away. Then, of course, the well-known menu scene.

You see, everyone brings up the menu scene, and it is important, but it's also important to point out how Stolas hid his face behind the menu because Ozzie pulled him back in his seat and didn't let him run. Yeah, Blitzo never saw the 'trying-to-run-away' part but, considering Apology Tour and the crap Stolas says in the beginning, that whole thing here is important. Seriously, Stolas may be said that he's a pacifist, but the writing obviously goes too far and makes Helluva's Stolas seem like a coward who will undoubtedly make his 'loved ones' suffer just for the sake of taking the path of least resistance. Because this Stolas only ever cares about taking the easy way out in any given crisis

Finally, when Blitzo drops Stolas off at his mansion. Stolas has the freaking sheer stupidity to try inviting Blitzo in after Blitzo's obviously in a bad mood. Again, Stolas has to be socially braindead to witness how the evening went for Blitzo and still think it's appropriate to spend time with him, especially after mentioning that Octavia's with her mom. Really, Stolas already seems socially inept to not pick up that Blitzo's struggling not to cry and at least stop trying to invite him in. God, it's annoying to recall how shocked Stolas looked when Blitzo called him out for their relations with each other because it's like, 'how is this a surprise to you? It's not like Blitzo was ever not direct about how things are'. But yeah, even when Stolas is 'kinder', he's still not considerate, what with witnessing his loved ones being bullied right in front of him and still trying to carry on like things can still be fun in the end

The cherry on top is when Blitzo is looking at the pictures in his phone. He's so much happier with Fizzarolli, Verosika, and Barbie and Tilla. Stolas, though? Blitzo may be smiling but he also looks tired. What's more, Stolas is asleep.

As in, literally the only time in the entire show that I can think of that Blitzo is smiling in Stolas's presence is when Stolas himself is asleep.

And yeah, I'm going up all the way to Apology Tour. The photo that Blitzo secretly took of himself and Stolas is literally the only time I know of where Blitzo is actually happy when Stolas is nearby and he's fucking sleeping.

Seriously, how sad is that? That the only time your partner is even remotely happy around you is when you're not talking to each other or interacting with each other in any shape or form or when you're not even awake to look at them? And again, Blitzo looks tired as he smiles so that means, even at the height of happiness that Stolas brings him, Blitzo will just be too drained to properly enjoy it

*

And that's all the interactions that Stolas and Blitzo had together in the first season, including the pilot. At least, what comes to memory, because I'm already rewatching episodes for rewrite fanfics and I don't want to do it for more than I already do.

Anyways, just by the first season and even the pilot alone, there's no grounds for even a decent relationship, let alone a good one. For the most part, Stolas keeps doing whatever the fuck he wants and Blitzo looks pissed off by all of it. In turn, Blitzo only cares about what he can get from Stolas, he never shows any interest in Stolas himself. I guess to Stolas's credit, as little as he can be given and as undeserved it might be, Stolas did try some small talk to really get to know Blitzo, even if it's extremely surface-level. (Although it's probably not good that it took seven episodes for Stolas to ever even try surface-level learning about Blitzo, given that the first season is eight episodes)

Even with just that, it's already shitty for a relationship because one party really is just being treated like a plaything by the other. And to think, season 2 manages to make everything worse... until next time, when that season's finished

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 4 Himatsubushi pt. 4

First things first. The TIPS. TIP one is about the guys who kidnapped Inukai's grandson. The pair of kidnappers talk about how Inukai is slowly withdrawing the plans for the Hinamizawa Dam, and how everything seems to be progressing just as the "main family" (The Sonozaki family I feel it's safe to guess) has planned. TIP two is about an as-yet unnamed narrator disliking guaranteed outcomes, and how they yearn for something, anything to upset the established timeline of how events are meant to shake out. Based on absolutely no evidence, I assume this is Rika talking, and complaining about how set in stone the time loops have been. TIP three introduces Oryou Sonozaki as an actual character you get to see, and not just a "she's totally alive, trust me."

See, here she is. More importantly:

It's tiny baby Mion! Looking like an actual child in the console art, and looking more or less the same in the remake art. Isn't that neat?

Also doc Irie is here! Now we just need tiny baby Satoko, and baby Rena and the collections complete. Anyway, Oryou and Mion have a sneaky double-meaning rich conversation about the dam project and stopping the wheels of government and all its machinations. Meanwhile the only thing I could think of was a line from the second Protomen album "now that the wheel is spinning out of control what happens if you hold them still? If you break the working parts what you'll get is a broken machine." Which doesn't quite fit with what the conversation entails, but it's fine.

It's time for Akasaka to meet with Ooishi's informant, where the three soon arrive at a mahjong parlor, and a certain chill runs through me. They wouldn't...

God damn it, I was joking! Mahjong shenanigans ensue.

Here's what our man Akasaka looks like by the way. It would appear that I was off in my estimation that Akasaka and Tomitake were the same man. Especially what we find out later on in the chapter.

"You'll be alright old man, and may your head be split open with a pick-axe is that isn't the case." Shortly after this the gang breaks up and goes their separate ways except for Akasaka and Sato, who go off to have their chat about the inner-workings of the Onigafuchi Guardians.

What I find interesting about this meeting and the way it's presented it seems like every single member of all three of the families are forced to attend. The way I initially interpreted it, was that only those who held positions of power from the respective families would be there. Not every single family member regardless of age or station would have to attend. I know it's probably irrelevant to the story at large, but I can't help but wonder if this all hands on deck approach is a relatively recent decision from the Sonozaki family just so they could show the numbers their house is able to front at a moments notice. That this is more of a display of power than an effort to ensure that everyone involved is culpable in the decision making process. After all, there's at most three from the Furude family, let's be generous and say ten from Kimiyoshi, and enough for a hundred-man brawl from the Sonozakis.

Setting aside the power dynamics of the Families for a moment I am intrigued by the family structure of the Furude family. Up until the TIP in chapter three there was nothing really setting it up, if anything it seemed to downplay the disappearance of Rika's mom as less important to the death of the priest. But with the revelation that the Furude family seemed to be actively working towards the rebirth of Oyashiro it makes their structure a lot more relevant in the grand scheme of things. Does the fact that the leader of the Furude family is a woman influence the power structure of the other families to an extent? Is Oryou only in power because the head of the family that can claim a stronger divine power is a a woman? Does it all come down to divine providence, because for a minute I thought that the head of the Sonozaki family was the grandfather, but the dialogue in chapter two Watanagashi specifically states that Sohei was the current heads husband. Which means, except for Kimiyoshi the ones calling the shots for two of the three families are women. She doesn't say much here, but I get the impression that Rika's mom openly challenging the decision to increase the price on these bulletins is tantamount to openly calling out Oryou's power altogether. But because of the Furude family being the spiritual center of Hinamizawa, and possessing the stronger divine blood they can't fight her directly. Which is why Mion chooses to focus on Kimiyoshi. The one with the absolute least amount of power in this triumvirate.

Is this why Rika's mom gets demoned away in a few years time? She became too much of a thorn in the side of Oryou, and her aims to seize complete and absolute power over Hinamizawa? I don't think that the god Oyashiro would willingly kill a follower who was so instrumental in his reincarnation. And I have my doubts about the Watanagashi deaths and disappearances being a divine act since it seems almost deliberately targeted.

If we accept the idea that Satoko is indeed the intended victim of Oyashiro's curse why then would it go after Rika's parents? In an attempt to drive a wedge between the two? If the goal of the curse is really to drive Satoko to the depths of despair wouldn't it just be simpler to have at some point made Rika the victim of the curse? In the past two chapters when Rika does die I don't get the impression Satoko lives much longer afterward. Mion kills Rika, and then a couple hours later gets Satoko. Keiichi, and Satoko just happen to find Rika's body having been ritualistically murdered and then shortly thereafter Satoko "disappears."

More to the point, if Rika is aware that "the dam project will be going away soon" what even is the point of the Watanagashi deaths and disappearances? I know there was an implication that this has been happening every year since time immemorial, but why only within the past few years of 1983 has it been becoming such a big deal? Is it because now's the time Rika has more or less ascended to her godhood as Oyashiro's reincarnation?

[twistedisciple]

FIRST CAME THE SCRUTINY OF THE DRAGON'S GLARE, one of the first inward gazes into the inevitable, yet pointedly disappointing defeat of her hound from where she stalked the spectating masses, the unfurling emotion obstinate despite the end goal of his mission merely serving to distract before reaping true benefits. second came the soft curl of her lips, twitching the solidarity of her countenance until she had not the energy to stop the laughter that broke free from her.

and that was how she appeared upon reaching her other half; grinning blatantly in amusement with her claws unsheathed, clasped hands near her stomach unless it was to carelessly dismiss an idle medic with a curt wave or, if necessary, entirely push them out the way herself.

"there you are! how many did you fell, dear?" a greeting in itself, paired with the delicate cant of her head as she watched griss with keen eyes, wholly unbothered by the sight of bloodstained cloth being deposited at the side of the cot she found him near. "hm. . . i would have offered you the monastery's cups, but they have a disgusting taste in drinks. hmph! no matter. i am proud to see you last as long as you had, though not entirely impressed. you are a hound after all."

because she had not, though again, the relevance of her direct participation mattered little when it brought her in the shadow of lord sombron's self - appointed, falsely crowned heir. and that, too, would be a matter to be brought upon later. yet, to completely ignore it. . . not many of her conquests always went untold from her hound's ears, as to lean upon him provided her with a body to punish when all led to fail. after all, who else had delivered the word of the fell twin's existence if not him?

two - toned eyes flit from griss' face to her flexing claws. "had you seen lord rafal's performance earlier? defeated in the first round." then, quiet, the rare flicker of strange intent darkened her countenance, indulging the opinion of her half she hardly took to notice. "what do you think of it? is that his usual prowess in the throes of battle?"

Medics parted like a sea, or like fleeing rats, telling Griss of Zephia's arrival before her laughter reached his ears. Those tending his wounds had eagerly abandoned him under the pretense of giving the two of them privacy, but he couldn't say he cared one way or another. The bleeding had stopped by now, but he'd been made to relinquish the mantle of his loyalty, the cilices and straps intended to bind and chafe, and the rest of his clothing from the waist up so that they could dress his wounds. Now he sat on the edge of the cot, defanged and declawed for Zephia's judgment. He leaned back on his hands to watch her with a lazy smile.

"Yeah, well--" he excused the comment with the wave of one of his hands, dried blood still caked around and under the fingernails. "-- me 'n this other guy got outnumbered."

Just the facts. He'd never been one for glory in battle, as long as he got to have his fun. And he couldn't say he didn't have fun this year. It was clear in the remnants of his smile. But despite the residual exhilaration, despite their languid drift, carmine eyes were still attentive. Zephia had been taken out of the tournament, too, and he wondered idly about the lines of her face, whether they had always been there or were new.

"Lord Rafal lost, too, huh?" he answered absently, until she snapped his attention back for an opinion. His gaze hardened with sharpened focus and caught the tail end of something dark slither across her expression, too fast, but too uncertain. A trick of the light, or one of the mage dragon's many secrets he knew he'd never understand, Griss couldn't tell for sure.

"I dunno." He shrugged the thought away and pushed himself stiffly off his hands, bending forward to drape his arms over his knees instead, the ridge of his spine making shadows down his bare back between crimson-stained bandages and crimson-inked skin. "I've only seen 'im fight as a dragon."

The memory of his first run-in with the fell heir evoked an itch across his chest that he scratched at absentmindedly.

"Always did think his human body looked kinda flimsy though," he said, and then discarded it with a shrug as if it had no merit at all, as barren and superficial as it was. It wasn't often that Zephia asked him for his thoughts, and rarer still that he knew the kinds of thoughts she wanted from him. The years -decades, by now - they'd been suppressed had allowed his survival for this long. The question had set rusted gears to struggle infinitesimally in some forgotten part of himself, powered by nothing else but the irrepressible desire to please, yet lost in ambiguity, unable to find the traction to turn. He searched her face for a sign that that was enough, all too eager now for distraction, and his attention caught on something else. He tilted his head slowly to the side and reined in his splaying grin, the faintest glimmer of concern softening his eyes.

"They got your injuries all taken care of, yeah?"

[pistolenprinz]

RDR2 CHARACTERS AS THE MAJOR ARCANA (PT. 3 OF MANY)

I've been really digging tarot lately, and finding a lot of comfort/joy indulging in the universe's energies, so I figured I would try my hand at assigning each of the main gang (with some exceptions) to one of the major arcana, as well as giving my personal interpretations of how it fits. Note: For this post, I've dipped into my own deck (Raven Rogue's Tarotorial), and will be pulling the imagery-specific elements from them. I will cite things as such "Insert text here [Source Name]." Regardless, the actual applications to the plotlines and characters is my own and is my opinion. To cut down on the length of these posts, I've privately paired up gang members that I either think provide a good foil for one another, or those that I just think pair well in terms of discussion. This section will be copy-pasted across all the posts in this series for sake of clarity.

ABIGAIL MARSTON (NÉE ROBERTS) - THE HIGH PRIESTESS

The High Priestess is a formidable force of mediation and balance, sitting between the Pillar of Establishment (Jachin, right) and the Pillar of Strength (Boaz, left). This card offers the balance between masculine and feminine, good and evil, negative and positive [Tarotorial; Card Imagery].

If Abigail has no fans, then I am dead. Listen to me. Listen to me right now. She is a moving force within the gang's dynamic, and I will not let anybody tell me otherwise. And no, it is not because "we all had her", Dutch lied and tried to paint her a villain by weaponizing her previous experiences. But back to Abigail. Like John, there are two things that pull at her: the gang, and her family. Those are her two pillars. She tries, so hard, to balance them and keep them both above the water. Like… She tries to stop John from putting himself at unnecessary risk for Dutch's goals, but also encourages him to do proper work with Dutch and the rest of the gang so that he can provide for Jack. She tries to get through to him via Arthur, but also tries to get through to Arthur with John (knowing their conflict and their former closeness).

If any of you are familiar with the God of War franchise (which is a current fixation of mine), I see her role within the plot comparable to Lady Sif's. And can see the parallels between Sif's relationship with Thor and her relationship with John (and further: Thor's dependency on Odin being comparable to John's dependency on Dutch). That's the vibe I get from it.

MOLLY O'SHEA - THE MOON

The Moon shows a wolf and a dog standing on either side of a path -- these creatures represent the dualities of our wild and civilized sides. Two towers flank the path which seems to present two possible outcomes. Each side has a consequence [Tarotorial; Card Imagery].

Molly is distant from the rest of the gang. She orbits around them, though sits much higher than them. However, she is not unlike them in terms of her complexity. I really think Molly's characterization and her background tends to get overshadowed, and I think those are relevant to her being a representation of The Moon. She comes from "civilized" life. She was born into wealth, and sought adventure through her moving to America. She experienced that "wildness" of the Van der Linde gang, particularly through Dutch, and switched her path to see what it was all about. Unfortunately for her, it led her down a path that is isolating and full of conflict. This is shown in her interactions with other gang members, and through her own words (re: her poetry; "I sit in solitude and scrawl […] I've nothing left. I gave you all.") And, in a way, the imagery surrounding The Moon is isolating. The two sides of a person's nature, split and separated by the towers and winding path. She is alone in her status and in her life within the gang. And try as she may to confide in others (particularly Arthur), the only person that could save her is herself.

[anincompletelist]

Hi Sarah! 15, 17, 33, and 37 for the ask meme if you're feeling up to it. Hope you're doing well 💜

HI FRIEND! :D I am definitely feeling a little worn out but having fun answering some of these before bed :) I hope you've had a lovely day today!

+

15: Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

oh absolutely. most of my reading is non-fiction psych books and/or poetry, so there are all sorts of feelings that must be written down expeditiously usually, and if I write in a notebook instead then the two get separated inevitably so I've found it much easier to write right there on the page. I love making a book my own and making it feel 'lived in'. looking back one day and being like hey! this made me feel things!! so much so that I had to write it down or highlight it or circle it or earmark the page to come back to again and again! I LOVE. (I do not, however, read in the bathtub because I have anxiety and am far too afraid I will drop it in the water on accident ksjhdk)

17: Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

as we all know, I have an unholy amount of wips in the docs currently but I feel like my 'main' wip is bridesmaids, which is concluding at the end of this month! it definitely has more lore than most of my other fics do thanks to a bunch of the characters being originals! when I outlined for this fic I had pages of background info for each of the characters and how it affects their behaviors and ties into the major plot points, but a lot of those details got cut as the fic crossed 100k and I didn't want to include a bunch of lore that wasn't directly relevant to our main characters/pairing. but the little found family in this fic is so special to me and if anyone's ever interested (or maybe if I do another fic set in this verse one day?) I'd love to delve into the original characters a bit more! they have tons of quirks and little details that are so much fun hehehehe

33: Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

I will do literally anything creative even if I am not good at it ksjhkdh I love to create! I've tried a bit of everything here and there, but I regularly enjoy photography, painting, and occasionally drawing! if poetry counts, I have written poems for fics, both in posted works and some upcoming ones, but other than that I've yet to have any of these crossover!

37: If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

ooooh what a good question!

ideally, I think I'd like some of the main takeaways to be that I felt deeply, did not shy away from hard or emotionally nuanced topics but always managed to find a bright spot within them, that ultimately leaves people walking away from my work feeling seen, validated, and/or inspired.

realistically, they might stick me in a textbook under the category 'words that should have been said to a therapist that have instead been immortalized on ao3 [tags include: emotional hurt/comfort, shameless smut]' SKJDHSKJDHSJH we out here!

+

[send me a weird question for writers or reblog to play along yourself!]

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

Going insane because the big fucking lumax elmax parallel elumaxers love to say means romantic elmax [which I hope it does] may very well mean platonic lumax instead?? Or even something else?????

I love platonic and romantic lumax equally, but I truly thought we were getting more romantic lumax next season so I'm VERY confused.

I say "confused" and "might" because there are MULTIPLE possibilities and I am still willing to entertain them all as of yet. If anyone wants to give input or ask questions PLEASE do so, I would very much appreciate! You can reblog or reply, but anons are also on rn :)

---

BASICALLY in Stranger Things One, El leans over Will, who is lying down half-dead and dying on the Upside-Down Castle Byers.

This scene establishes The Lean TM as I will henceforth refer to it.

El is saving him for lots of complicated reasons. She believes that she will be "replaced" afterwards. She wants to make her friends happy. She may believe in a consequence otherwise. And because she of course wants Will to stay alive. Her life so far has sucked ass.

---

Stranger Things Two rolls around. El is looking for Kali. Basically she is attaching herself like a friendly, adorable leech to anything remotely familiar. She wants FAMILY and STABILITY rn. So she goes to her sister, Kali. In this case, Kali is the one conjuring hallucinations. Spider (negative) followed by butterfly (positive) [both have other meanings too but Not The Point]

El says "are you real?". She isn't sure such a thing as a sister who won't betray her could happen in this life!

---

Stranger Things four!!

Max reaches out to El saying "are you real? Did I make you?" Adding the second questing as El is already known to her/she remembers El.

Even pinches her cheek!

This follows several hallucinations caused by Vecna, all bad (one involving Lucas, but Idk if that's relevant yet.)

Max has thus far believed that nothing as good as what she already believes El to be possible anymore, nor that she deserves it.

She definitely believes in Vecna causing yk Bad Shit if the El is fake.

---

The infamous The Lean TM 2.0!!!

Max is all the way fuckin dead. As a doorknob.

Lucas cradles Max, but the FRAMING puts him in the EXACT position as EL is with psychic image of Max, visually.

LEANING.

THEN El resuscitates Max via telekinetic chest compressions fueled by Happy Memory Positive Vibes Energy. She knows Max, *and* she has had a good life for some of it atp.

---

ANYWAYS. Onto some POTENTIAL meanings!

The Lean TM is not inherently romantic OR platonic. El did not even KNOW Will and did not feel anything PERSONALLY about him when she Leaned in ST1.

She EVENTUALLY got to know Will- AFTER The Lean TM. THEN their relationship is platonic.

But initially- sheer desperation. WHO Will was had nothing to do with it. The outside forces, that being (oversimplified) El's desire to SAVE Will. Not any feelings she had towards him.

This then changes for The Lean TM 2.0! El and Lucas KNOW Max! BUT assuming this is about OUTSIDE feelings- desperation had RUN the FUCK OUT- replaced by SHEER FUCKING SHOCK AND TERROR because A) Max is literally DEAD right now and B) fuckin Vecna and the apocalypse

THIS information gives us a few potential meanings:

The Lean TM represents outside feelings. It is a contrast between the relatively more hopeful eyes of a twelve year old, be she alone, than the jaded girl two years later. But she's got friends now. And also The World's Problems still exist. (Dead children equals world problems, alone v w/ friends obvi, and hopeful but desperate v already dead.) Supposed resurrection represents that it is never too late.

The Lean TM represents that those involved will have their relationship to eachother, or their impression of the other, changed in the future. Even THIS could mean a hundred things in its own!!

Siblings-ass pair did it first, another elmax siblings thing, does that make lumax paralleled to siblings??? I am HESITANT AS SHIT about this one because the point of parallels indicating interpersonal relationships is the characters' feelings- and in The Lean TM 1.0, you could hardly call willel "siblings" PLUS it would be weird to make lumax be like a siblings pair atp imo.

In any case, it kind of seems difficult to make this about romo lumax *alone*

---

NOW onto "are you real?"

This is Max saying something that parallels an earlier quote by El.

The funny thing is, Max in Stranger Things Four is actually more similar to Stranger Things FOUR El than to Stranger Things Two El. They both have feelings of guilt right now, and have trouble convincing themselves that they "deserve" friends and family, or for anything good to happen to them.

In Stranger Things Two, El is ACTIVELY SEARCHING for this family rather than avoiding it (though ST4 Max moves into this direction as well, the former is more connected to the nature of Max's Vecna Visions)

It's also totally different from the nature of their relationships, let alone the types!

El at the point of quote one ONCE AGAIN doesn't know Kali at ALL. By the time Max sees El, she is already familiar enough with El to believe that she could conjure her from memory!

Constancy???Hope?????Trust??? El2 was not in any type of immediate danger, unlike Max4.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS COULD POSSIBLY MEAN AND IT IS FUCKING ME UP. WHAT- BESIDES VISIONS AND DOUBTING REALITY- IS THE COMMONALITY HERE???

HI this has been sitting in my drafts for WEEKS and I've still got no FUCKING clue! On the one hand, the LEAN the GODDAMN LEAN makes it seem like it's probably elumax(if it's romo lumax it's probably both, and otherwise there may be a familial implication, but the meaning of that has become more Literal as of late so probably the first things) but then what the absolute FUCK is going on with the other thing?? In the SAME DAMN EPISODE!? And nowI'm reading about the lighting in the episode which makes the "r u real?" Thing even MORE confusing AND JESUS FORKING CHRISTY

[sdyuteiaok]

Almost forgot to post today's study. Well, excellent news on the Magic front, we got the issue sorted, and we're finally able to play on desktop again, which is a great relief--playing on the phone is just not for me. I'd have to look at the tape because I did everything in my power to avoid green and red, since apparently this is the worst color pair--together and individually--but I have a sneaking suspicion I coulda really had a solid green-based deck. But I passed green left and right and settled into a truly mediocre blue/black deck. I am not confident it wasn't even a good seat for these cards, since the telltale sign of a draft falling apart--enablers with no payoffs or the inverse--is what I found myself with. And I had a number of expensive cards I didn't really have time to deploy, if clunking them down one at a time each turn. I also needed like one or two more pieces of removal, and I bet that coulda made a huge difference. I was happy with my inclusion of Macabre Waltz, since these games do tend to go long, but you need cheap creatures to really bounce back--like I said, the bulky guys only let you drop one per turn, which can be too slow late-game. But this format seems to be pretty creature-reliant and card-draw light, so Waltz has been reasonably impressive to me as a way to turn a land into two creatures, ideally sluggers that ate removal. I got run over a couple games cuz I was too reluctant to use removal before setting up my board, which was clearly the wrong tact. I hate whenever I make a firm decision like that, and it's the direct opposite of what the situation calls for. Can't even get halfway--whenever I don't blitz removal, that's when they have endless disruption to my guys while deploying theirs. Supremely annoying. I only got two wins this draft, which is unsustainable. I'm looking for no less than four, with five being ideal, obviously, since that's infinitivo. I'm also hearing about the Jumpstart event, which apparently has a bunch of exclusive cards, but they aren't super relevant, though there are those anime alt-arts that are just a part of the set, so maybe I should do a couple of runs of that. The worry is getting stuck with an abysmal deck, which happens not too infrequently, which makes playing the event utterly miserable. And I want to save up for the land pack, if I can, too, but I might have to dip into the gold reserves since I should be low on gems by now--might have one more draft there...really needed to hit at least four wins this past draft...ugh, and I still need to get into platinum constructed, as I haven't played Constructed much this month, and the clock is ticking...hate having to play Constructed in general, but on deadline is also especially annoying.

[just-some-castaways]

The Universe Said: I love You

Author: Madeline (with help from Mandy & Nate cause I don’t play video games XD) (and also Jamie for the history…. honestly most of us pitched in for this one)

-August 14th, 2024

Imagine with me for a moment, your childhood. Perhaps it wasn’t what you would have liked, perhaps it was, but whatever childhood you had, you dreamed. You had imagination. It’s one of the wonders of the human mind to think outside of the world of thought.

John Muir (1838-1914), a Scottish naturalist who explored and wrote about many of America’s national parks, said this:

“The power of imagination, makes us infinite.”

Kevin Hearne, a Canadian fiction author, said this in one of his novels, Hounded (2011):

“The universe is exactly the size that your soul can encompass. Some people live in incredibly small worlds, and some live in a world of infinite possibility.”

Why then, do we box up our imagination somewhere between being a child and being an adult? Even Albert Einstein (1879-1955) stressed the importance of imagination,

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand."

At some point we lose imagination if we’re not careful. But what happens if you find it again, somewhere down the line? Is it the same as it was? Or does it evolve and become something different from where you left it?

Being forced to box imagination can do odd things when it’s let loose again. And blended with the right ingredients, it can bend reality, even break it, and completely shift your views and ways of life. Occasionally, this is called trauma. Fear takes over parts of the mind it deems “un-necessary” for survival and reroutes that energy elsewhere. Left alone, this creates permanent marks in the mind.

I am one of those marks in the boys mind.

I need you to understand something, the boy is not insane, or unsafe, or completely mad. No, he’s actually more along the lines of “harmless” and his mind is simply different than the larger portion of society.

What the boy is officially diagnosed with is called Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD. The details of BPD and symptoms are far too in-depth to go into here, so I’ll simply note the most relevant part.

BPD is a disorder that makes it incredibly difficult for a person to express, understand, and process emotions. This can effect people in a wide variety of ways (which is to be expected) but in the case of the boy, his imagination being taken by fear, blended with BPD suppressing emotions, along with a cohort of other mental and emotional disorders, resulted in the breaking of his mind into roughly 16 parts.

These parts have names, experiences, personalities, talents, and preferences that differ greatly from each other. Perhaps most frustratingly is that those parts are cut off from each other for the majority of time. Yet it creates an odd… diversity in experiences and perspectives on the world.

Imagination paired with the mind’s instinctual desire to protect itself (and an array of other complex factors), is what gave me and my friends life. It only makes sense therefore that I’m perpetually fascinated by the idea.

At the end of Minecraft, when the final battle is completed, a written conversation between two unnamed beings takes place. They challenge the readers understanding of reality and probe the extent of their imagination. They talk of profound, almost otherworldly, concepts and ideas. One of the final lines in that conversation is directed straight at the reader.

“And the universe said, you are the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code.” “And the universe said, I love you, because you are love.”

Imagination is important. Imagination is crucial. Imagination is the substance that gives life to a world of grey.

Imagination saved the boys life.

Imagination is the reason I’m alive.

Hello, my name is Madeline, and I am a part of a system called The Castaways. I hope you’ve enjoyed our story about the boy. Best of luck, fair winds, and remember to imagine.

(I understand that at this point I’ve more than expended most peoples attention span so if you are still reading, I apologize for the excessive word count. I’ve been told I talk far too much.)

~

[lotarclasspects]

MY THOUGHTS ON CLASS PART 2

[PART 1 HERE] What I'm unsure of, is whether Heir/Maid or Seer/Mage are the most middling class. the -1,+1. Because those aside, when it comes to Knight/Page and Thief/Rogue, we know those classes are SERVE and STEAL respectively. SERVE as meaning in service of, AND Serving their enemies martially. It's an assumption, but my instinct tells me they're not the most middling classes. Either way you slice it, THIEF/ROGUE or KNIGHT/PAGE would come after Prince. And if that assumption is made, then something is seen on the scale. MAKE and DESTROY are right next to each other on the rungs. And so too would STEAL and SERVE be, regardless of which way they're swapped. And these groups of concepts oppose each other. To take is the opposite of serving. Destroying is the opposite of making. Is having them next to each other on the rungs intentional, and relevant? or Elegant? Either way, it looks balanced. And homestuck really really likes its balance. So instead of a group of Classes which are all individual and unlinked to each other aside from the Counterparts, what we begin to see is groups of Four. Two opposing concepts next to each other, one POSITIVE (abundance of aspect, giving it to people) and one NEGATIVE (Detriment of aspect, destroying or taking it in relation to how its used) Which too, got me thinking. We've known for ages that Princes can tend to appear like they're embodying the opposite aspect because they can Destroy the aspect they have in themselves and others. Dirks harsh cerebral appearance. Eridan. Just all of Eridan. But Thieves too, Vriska believes she has an overabundance of BAD LUCK. For these characters, their relation to their aspect is one of detriment. As opposed to the MAKE and SERVE classes, who kind of match up fairly well. Due to this, it would create KNOW and INHERIT as opposites. or EMBODY whatever Heir/Maid are. In my mind, it garners the picture of people who go and learn vs people who recieve mastery based on right of birth. But I am still learning about the Heir class and trying to break down exactly what it's getting at in another post. to KNOW and to EMBODY are certainly opposite concepts, one implying an outside knowledge and one implying total becoming of it. Either way, they're the only two left. And this is less about me imposing my idea onto this, and me trying to figure out what Hussie was getting at, so I will need to look harder.

But finding out who is at the -1 +1 might be a question of which of these pairs starts out at a detriment, and which has it freely. I don't believe +1 and -1 would imply less Power than any of the other classes, because Activity/Passivity is a pretty nebulous concept anyway, and Calliope despite being the Most Passive, is one of the Most Powerful. so what does -1 +1 mean? Perhaps something special. If Heir was there, John being the Heir of Breath and Jane being the Maid of Life might be a point of significance in terms of class with total possibilities or adaptabilities or something. it's a special number, anyhow. Neither too active or too passive. Who knows. What I do know is, the Active/Passive scale, to me, is a way that Hussie created elegance in their system. And using it comprehensively to determine a class for a character is pretty much useless and ignores the important specificities in role of each class. Which I will go into more at a later date. If you read all of this I'm officially giving you the LOTAR CLASSPECTS Victoria Cross Medal of Honour And if this stuff seems unsure, there is a level of confidence I have about my classifications due to me posting them, such as Sylph/Witch and Maid/Heir which i'm VERY confident about. But I can also admit which specificities I'm not sure about yet, and I don't want anyone to take information I'm not sure of and believe it's fact. Until I'm confident about its probability of being fact or something. But that's at a future date probably. I also included all of this here because making individual class posts will take some time and anyone wanting the rundown of How i got here can just take it if they want. more to come -teapotTrickster

[crystalelemental]

Sync Pair Retrospective - Ash

Third Anniversary began not with a bang, but with the most mundane reveal I've seen in a while.  They literally just showed the sync pairs in an email some people got.  That was it.  That’s how we got word of what was coming.  I guess they eventually did a big flashy trailer, but no setup or hype like second anniversary at all.  It was incredibly lame.  And to make matters worse, they brought in Ash.  Listen, this is my one shot: I do not like Ash.  He’s always the least interesting character in his own story.  Pikachu is just as bad.  It’s not even that cute, and it’s, at this point, wildly overhyped as the mascot.  Getting two Pikachus for anniversary sucked ass, getting one of them with anime was awful for me in particular, and the salt in the wound was that the rats are obscenely strong.

Ash is the Striker.  Just...broadly.   Electric-type damage, with Kanto Spirit, perfect self-setup, and the new Buddy moves.  These have had a wide range of effects, but Ash's is the purest iteration.  The more gauge you have, the bigger your damage, with a total Base Power of over 1000 at max gauge.  Even off-type, Ash's buddy move is a delete button.  He and SST Red are the only current team that’s beaten 1000 strength in High Score.  The fucked thing is he's a Striker, and has a sync nuke with a really respectable amount of power behind it too.  His grid layout is immaculate, giving him everything he wants, including a second shot at buddy move, with no energy issues at all.  I remember being annoyed because skills that should cost more just didn't, solely so he could be perfect.  It's annoying.

To make matters worse, Ash brought his plot armor.  Endurance, with a guaranteed second application of it after the first was used, and healing potential.  Ash has so much about just not dying it's ridiculous, and it's really this which propelled him from just a funny numbers man into a legitimate, unstoppable menace.  Buddy Move would always make him relevant, but frail strikers can be overwhelmed, especially in the AoE meta.  But with Double Endurance?  There's a reason you can find a lot of Ash solos.

Obviously, no one has challenged Ash as an Electric-type.  I mean.  Someone did, but we'll...we'll get to that thing.  But there was a competitor.   Champion Marnie came in with the same approach as a striker with Double Endurance. And personally?  I think Marnie does it better.  This is entirely because Marnie has a serious flinch rate behind her attacks.   The power of her moves is devastating, and a well-timed flinch keeps things on lock.  Buuuut there's also a reason Ash's Gauntlet solo count is higher than hers.  Speed control.  Having your moves cost less gauge really is a selling point for Gauntlet solos.  Hint. Hint.

He did get one new playmate in SS Hau.  Who is worse than SST Red, let’s not even pretend.  Hau covers a lot of similar ground, but mostly just has Mind Games debuffs without needing to paralyze the opponent.  That’s it.  That’s all Hau offers to Ash.  And this is the only real change that’s occurred.  Nothing else has mattered to Electric types.

It's hard to talk about Ash's changes across the meta, since...well, I don't have him.  I'd like to say that the new CS parameters slowed him down a little.  But truth be told, I doubt they did.  He just has so much power behind his attacks. It's...hard to talk about Ash with anything other than superlatives.  He's one of those sync pairs I get slightly annoyed at because they're designed to be almost too good.  If this game were more about chasing meta, he'd be both a mandatory pull of his era, and by now hilariously powercrept to irrelevance.  So I guess it speaks well to the structure of the game that he's still among the best to ever do it.  Even if I am very sick of him and Pikachu.  Shoutouts to Liko, am I right?

But what’s really interesting is statistics.  This is informal, and only polls redditors, but it’s a nice microcosm of the broader pool.  Someone monitored EX frequency and rate.  How many players EX’d each pair, and how many players who own that pair have them EX?  Notably, SST Red is top five Master Fairs by absolute value, but not top 10 by rate.  Most people pulled him, but not everyone bothered to EX him, because why would he need it?  Aura Cynthia is top two by rate, but not top 10 by absolute value.  Not everyone got her, but if you did, you likely full invested.  What’s interesting is that Ash isn’t on either list.  That implies that, of the anniversary, Ash was the least pulled.  Which could mean one of two things.  The thing I’d like to believe is that the anime isn’t popular, don’t do this again.  But the more likely outcome?  SST Red was disgusting, and most F2P players knew to put their gems there.  Some may not have, and instead went Cynthia, because despite constant bitching about it, Supports always have value.  Ash, for all his power...is just damage.  And his damage is overkill.  Ash answers a question with some certainty.  There is a such thing as a Striker that goes so far they’re unnecessary.  More is needed than just being big damage.  Hitting for a billion damage isn’t enough when compared to broad utility.

That or he’s just less popular than Red, known favorite child of the masses, and Cynthia, #1 series waifu.  One of those things.

[yanche]

Since you seem to be genuenly asking for a perspective allow me to yap here for a moment.

>so the scene just before labyrinth where Maria is talking to James from the locked room. she says "It doesn't matter who I am." and we both kind of ran with that. I took it to mean that James didn't really love Mary.

Personally, I interpret it differently. I'm inclined to think of it as Maria's own struggle with her identity. I'll get into why I think this later.

>but is there an argument to be made that James didn't love Mary at all?

Of course there is and the strongest one is that you don't kill someone you love. And honestly? Valid. But on the other hand, you also don't kill yourself over someone you don't love. And you don't go on a creepy island to do some cursed ressurection ritual and re-enact Pet Sematary ending over someone you don't love. James says he'd do anything to be with Mary again, he researched medical books while she was ill for her, he says he got nothing without her, he always carries her photo around. So is it fair to say he didn't love her at all?

>he "loved" her as "woman". as "wife". but was she ever her own person in his eyes? we never hear about her hobbies. her interests. her personal quirks. she is just Mary.

Actually, we kinda do...

>in the eyes of James, "his Mary" could be any woman. a cookie cutter wife for him to latch onto.

Yet he rejects Maria, someone who is literally perfect and exists solely for him, specifically because she is not Mary. And Maria is as close to Mary as anyone can get!

except maria ending

>this links hand in hand with his sexual frustration and the way some of the monsters are portrayed.

With "his sexual frustration" that isn't canon btw and is instead a fan theory that has lost it's relevance over the years. See this post.

>the mannequins beings two pairs of legs glued together with no face. simplifying a woman down to what he considers to be the most important part of them.

Personally, I always interpreted the Mannequins as Mary's legs kicking James while he smothered her (judging by how they attack) but it doesn't matter since we're both kind of wrong:

>the nurses, also with no facial expression, being dressed so provocatively and shaped almost pornographically feminine.

Again, see the post I linked. There is no deep meaning behind their sexualized appearance.

Now to Maria's "it doesn't matter who I am": The tragedy of Maria's character is that she is a Silent Hill creation that is self-aware. In "Born from a wish" she struggles to accept the truth about what she is and cuts Earnest off when he mentions it. Still we can tell she knows, she just doesn't want to admit it until a certain point in the game. The name "Maria" she gave to herself and she knows it's fake. She knows she is nobody. All she has is broken pieces of someone else's memories and someone else's feelings (for James and Laura). All those few pieces of identity she has come from Mary. However, interestingly enough, Maria refuses to be Mary. She makes a point of it several times. Even at the end of the game when she fully transforms into Mary on the outside she still refuses to be her. So she is not Mary, she is not "Maria", all that she knows is that she wants James' love and for that she is willing to become anything for him so it doesn't really matter who she is.

Or a more simple explanation would be is that she simply tries to stop James from questoning her

been making my brother play the silent hill 2 remake while I watch (he's like my own personal streamer bc I love game but game scary). so we've been talking about the themes and James as a character of course and I wanna explore something that i haven't seen in the discourse but something we discussed a couple nights ago. spoilers under the cut.

so the scene just before labyrinth where Maria is talking to James from the locked room. she says "It doesn't matter who I am." and we both kind of ran with that. I took it to mean that James didn't really love Mary. or, at least, Silent Hill believes he didn't. now we could say it's just the thoughts James has about himself echoing back to him. we got the leave ending first playthrough without even trying and in that he tells Mary that he killed her because he hated her. she responds by saying that's okay and it's played in a way that's I think was supposed to convey that he didn't REALLY hate her. he hated the illness. hated his life being limited. I think all of those complicated emotions can still exist even if you love someone.

but is there an argument to be made that James didn't love Mary at all? he loved who he remembered her as. he "loved" her as "woman". as "wife". but was she ever her own person in his eyes? we never hear about her hobbies. her interests. her personal quirks. she is just Mary. wife of James. even her name lends itself to banality.

that's what we took Maria to mean when she said "it doesn't matter who i am". because in the eyes of James, "his Mary" could be any woman. a cookie cutter wife for him to latch onto. this links hand in hand with his sexual frustration and the way some of the monsters are portrayed. the mannequins beings two pairs of legs glued together with no face. simplifying a woman down to what he considers to be the most important part of them. the nurses, also with no facial expression, being dressed so provocatively and shaped almost pornographically feminine.

idk i guess I see a lot of people addressing the general sexual frustration symbolism but not really digging into why his sexual frustration haunts him so much. again it could all be just a personification of how he sees HIMSELF. and we know that's not always the reality based on Angela... anyway I'm rambling!!! anyone else have this thought?