#this is partially directed at myself
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hey shoutout to everyone whose otherkinity/alterhumanity is intertwined with their plurality and vice versa! shoutout to nonhuman headmates who identify as otherkin, and fictives who identify as otherkin, and headmates that are therians, and headmates split as a result of someone else's kintype, and headmates that are nonhuman in headspace, and headmates whose influence triggers kinshifts, and systems that switch during kinshifts, and headmates who feel uncomfortable in the human body, and headmates who get phantom limbs, and all the many other systems and headmates who experience the intersection between plurality and otherkin in so many unique ways. you guys are all super cool
#this is partially directed at myself#especially the subsystems that switch during shifts bit#aster rambles sometimes#alterhuman#otherkin#nonhuman#nonhuman headmate#plural community#endo safe#also yes i know the commas are not grammatically correct but they make it easier for me to read and process
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Psst
Pssst
Hey
Hey you
You're allowed to have negative side effects of HRT
It doesn't make you less trans
Go and be free
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Cooking up an older Clervie outfit design so I don't have to keep drawing her looking like her child self but Long
#genshin impact#clervie#ngl i have so many thoughts about an older clrv's design but at the same time artistically im not that creative </3#mostly tried to make her look more like a direct contrast to arlecchino's design (which was already present but we ignore that)#cause arle's design is mostly very sharp and angular while i'd imagine clervie's being much more rounded out and softer#like they are the round vs pointy cat meme in human form#the hair was really tricky cause on one hand much like everyone else we dont really keep the same hairstyle our entire lives#butttttt at the same time idk i feel like her long hair flowing down (and her headband) are very recognizable parts of her#so i decided to not change much (also cause i dont trust myself making multiple drastic changes without changing their identity too much)#also halfways through coloring I realized she's kinda giving crucabena outfit wise but we ignore that </3#anyways clervie would def be a support/healer character if actually playable (leaning more towards buffer support imo)#ITS A MASSIVE 50/50 IF SHE WOULD BE A HYDRO OR ANEMO USER but i decided hydro for the time being cause it compliments HOTH's dpses more#aka Arlecchino Lyney and partially Freminet since if i remember correctly he's more physical based but cryo nonetheless#i just really like the idea of Clervie's passive being along the lines of boosting stats/dmg if there's HOTH members present in a team#anyways sorry for the text wall I just really need to be kicked out of the kitchen#i am UNDERCOOKING the food#character design is not my passion </3
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silly next gen thoughts 👶 (inspired by a comment! no one asked for a whole post, but i took the excuse to brainworm 🤣)
#akia art#olba#baxter ward#olba mc#we skipped the wedding and went straight to children lads#altho iirc baxter's opinion on parenthood isn't an 'enthusiastic yes' right#i don't think it's a no either but ur mileage may vary on the narrative direction of (discovering they want kids after healing) n such#i'm usually kind of ambivalent#but i've convinced myself that the dev wouldn't create a reluctant parent LI in a game w a wedding endgame and picket fences#partially bc i've gotten attached to these fakemon LMAO#if spiderverse did it why not!!#also iykyk re: xaylor xwift
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May I ask for married lizards head cannons (Dragon x Crocodile)
Unfortunately, honestly, I don't really have Dragodile headcanons at all, mainly because we know so little about Dragon it's kind of hard for me to imagine what he'd be like in a relationship with anyone, let alone with the meanest reptile on the planet
Aside from Dragon being the worst lay Crocodile ever had but to be fair that is at least 38% a joke headcanon
#Moon posting#Asks#OP Meta#Dragodile#When your husband has had the honor of having a dick for 34 years and still hasn't figured out how to actually use it#🐊''Do I need to get one myself just to show you how it's done''#🐉 ''You prommy? 🥺👉👈''#There is something extremely funny about Crocodile being so mean and the idea that Dragon was INTO that#Although I often suggest that Dragon might be just plain straight- mainly because I can't imagine Oda making Gay Dragodile canon#There is something very interesting to me about the idea that Crocodile could've been Dragon's Bisexual Awakening#But he never understood that at the time. And by the time he realized he was still into Croc even as a man like. The Divorce had happened#(And if The Divorce had been bad... Could it have been partially due to Dragon's own internalized homophobia?)#And IDK I think that could lead into some interesting story directions but. Alas. Again. Can't imagine it happening#Like I can imagine Oda giving Luffy not just two dads but making one of them trans#I can't imagine Oda giving us not just a canon gay couple but making them the protagonist's own parents#Like I don't want to entertain the thought too much because knowing it'd never happen would just make me sad lol
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Started a new knit project today - first big knit I've ever done. Spent maybe an hour of the two hours I have worked on it doing maths.
#life of dan#its partially my allergy to following directions#but also like all the patterns online have like#use this brand of yarn#and we dont have literally any of those because i am not in the us or uk#so I have to figure out all the gauging myself#which involves a lot of doing up a bit measuring mathing#redoing#measuring mathing#etc
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thinking abt (1) that post abt how most censorship is preemptive self-censorship¹ (2) bras²
⸻ ¹ wow, tumblr search actually worked for once??? ² i do understand and respect that for many people bras serve an actual structural function wrt support/comfort! however, for many other people (hi!) they do not, at least in everyday non-sports contexts, and that's the set of concerns i'm speaking to here.
#i mean for me personally it's also like. sometimes/often/always i don't want to have visible tits‚ for Gender Reasons#so rendering them more compressed & visually ignorable is a move in the right direction#but that's sort of seasonal (which sounds insane‚ but‚ idk‚ in the summer the visible body hair helps balance out the visible tits???)#so it's like. objectively very obvious that i ought to go braless more in the summer#when it would bother me less visually and dramatically increase my comfort levels#and i do‚ in the house! but like. when i go out i still feel the need to render myself Presentable and i'm mad about it#bc like. yeah it's partially a trans desire to hide my chest but like. is that actually separable from the way women are socialized#to manage their breasts to HOA-approved standard or else open themselves up to a whole gamut of inappropriate treatment. (no.)#and so it's really just like. reimposing many different shades of cisheteropatriarchy on myself simultaneously#but unfortunately the only way out is to just. accept all the bad reactions i'm living in fear of. but those DO feel bad!#as always it's like. hard when yr self-protective conditioning isn't serving you wrt being a free person#but IS a rational reaction to the hobbled reality of yr actual existence…#like. easy to say 'just ignore those worries.' and maybe i will‚ at least in the context of like. casual public appearances#but like. even if the material consequences are unlikely‚ for me‚ to be more than unpleasantly judgmental stares—#that's still a real emotional consequence that has an impact on my well-being! but so does the self-censorship.#anyway. too many tags & no novel insight. just like. sux lol#(also usually on here i omit any discussion of Tit Management Issues bc it's my space where i get to pretend not to have a body)#(but like. that's self-censorship of a kind too.)#embodiment (is violence)
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there is no foreign author as influential to a group of people as Franz Kafka is to Japanese writers. It’s like Kafka is their special little guy.
#this thought has been brewing in my mind for about 7 years now#it must have something to do with murakami right? at least partially?#tho maybe I’m think that because the first time I stumbled across this question was when I read Tokyo Ghoul#because that has a LOT of Kafka references/influences but also a lot of direct mentions of murakami’s work#but aside from Murakami himself and Sui Ishida I’m also talking about Mr. Asagiri Kafka himself#game writers too kafka is goichi suda’s fave author I think & kojima has a prettyyy big Kafka reference with the odradek in death stranding#of course there are also a few 20th century authors who were influenced by his works#like sure there are a lot of people influenced by kafka’s work#I just think it’s very interesting how Japanese writers are the loudest about their love for kafka’s work#and I’m asking myself if there is anything comparable to the grip that Kafka has on Japanese writers#and how that even started?#if someone has any kind of explanation for the grip Kafka has on Japanese writers plsss pls pls enlighten me#sina’s rambling
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forever mildly baffled that people seem to be so into roombas on this, the sensory overload website
#my parents got one a couple years ago and being in that house when the thing is on...the worst kind of grating background noise i'm sorry#I think partially bc it's irregular like you can hear it changing directions#anyway I will not be getting one of my own I'd rather just vacuum myself and get it over with#I get it I get it tho I'm sure it's a lifesaver for people with disabilities that prevent them from physically dragging around a vacuum#I'm just making a silly post
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btw i think one of the most impt hobbies in the world is having a mostly non-existent, mostly self indulgent crush on a professor/lecturer just to zone out to their classes to and focus instead on their hair and their hands and their dark circles speaking NAWT from experience. maybe a little bit.
#yeah he's got me a lil crazy i was doing dishes this morning thinking abt all the things i still have to do this week#bc we have his exam on friday and im trying to determine whether i should try to do some prep work or just leave it for the day of#& i was just thinking abt like. oh he's so fucking precious he like actively took the time over winter break to memorise the names of#the people who consistently show up to class and like its cause he's sweet and wants to eventually teach more focussed smaller groups#but like my man my absolute angel you have accidentally stumbled upon the number one surefire way to make people wanna keep coming to class#like his classes r great but mostly i like that he knows who i am#and like i was thinking abt like. we were talking abt language in art movements like dadaism and i asked if he'd read embassytow#-n and he said he hadnt but that he had a list of student recs i'd be on and then in a later class i asked if he read fever dream and he#like made the joke that he'd have a section in his list of just things i told him to read#You Dont Understand I Need This Man Carnally. THIS is what one direction meant when they said thats what makes u beautiful#fuck me i hope he has this effect on the ladies cause if not hey babe there's a whole world out here for you ready to be explored#its also jst funny bc we r genuinely all afflicted by this tragic desire of him i think its partially bc his classes r a little boring#again love him to bits he does try his best its just rly surface level shit because it has to be within the nature of his classes#anyway. convincing myself not to fail his class on purpose so i can retake it next year its going poorly#also just had like a rly long convo w him after class once and he's just. URGH SO SWEET IM LEAVING. IM GOING AWAY NOW.#dreamboy... ugh ! AND he's a poet professionally !!!
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disclaimer im still a beginner with japanese etc etc but i know enough (at least enough basic words) to be able to pick out words and short phrases in sentences and (when possible) compare them to english translations and what i find so fascinating so far is that like...my general impression is that its not uncommon for japanese sentences to be very short in a way that feels like it has empty space for the translation to fill?
the main (...only, for now) places i interact with jp->en translations are looking up translations to songs i like + reading the english subs while playing y0 and like ok i just got done playing y0 for a couple hours and at one point one of the characters said "anta wa?" which i recognized as literally being "you (TOPIC) (RISING INTONATION INDICATING A QUESTION)" and the subs said "what are you doing here?" and it kind of caught me off guard...ofc its a good and sensible translation (honestly the translation in this game seems high quality which makes sense lol its literally sega anyway back on topic) but its soooo interesting to me how in japanese a sentence that was literally a pronoun a topic marker and an intonation turned into FIVE words in english...so we can infer that the meaning present in the english sentence was also present in the japanese sentence but it was packed into such a smaller space...
i see the same thing in song translations like i'll compare a JP lyric to its translation side by side and see that something that was completely invisible in JP has now suddenly appeared in english and its so fascinating..!!! like 心の音 (lit. "sound of heart/heart's sound") became "the sound of your heart" and i was like !!!!!!! what!!!!!!!! idk anyway i know i never write paragraphs on here but i just like to be a nerd about this kind of thing
#mine#the other thing is that as u guys may know i speak spanish#and as u may or may not know i do some translating with it as a hobby#and its also really interesting to contrast that#my impression with jp->en is that because of all the empty space and the grammatical and cultural differences#(side tangent...i wonder if part of why some jp sentences get to be shorter and pack more meaning into that small space#is because of the whole thing of japan being relatively isolated for a lot of its history and only coming into contact with so many#languages and countries vs like. how intermingled european countries and languages have always been for example#i read the other day how japanese is so different because japanese people have just kind of always been there and the culture has spent#such a long time developing almost by itself in the same place with the same people over such a long period of time#that thats why so many things in the language are kind of left unsaid because everyone shares the same cultural context#really cool stuff) anyway because of all of that my impression is that as a translator you almost have more freedom in a way#i can see it being hard on the one hand because having more options means having to choose#but on the other hand...it IS more freedom#with spanish we dont get that because it's so much closer to english in terms of....well almosteverything if we're comparing to japanese lo#which sometimes makes things easy but sometimes i think man i wish i had a bit more ambiguity and freedom to interpret here...#which is partially my own fault since im still developing my own personal style re: how direct and literal i want my translations to be#but like idk...it makes me want to keep learning!!!! so one day i can translate jp->en myself...#waow...
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Writing tips for long fics that helped me that no one asked for.
1.) Don't actually delete content from your WIP unless it is minor editing - instead cut it and put it in a secondary document. If you're omitting paragraphs of content, dialog, a whole scene you might find a better place for it later and having it readily available can really save time. Sometimes your idea was fantastic, but it just wasn't in the right spot.
2.) Stuck with wording the action? Just write the dialog then revisit it later.
3.) Stuck on the whole scene? Skip it and write the next one.
4.) Write on literally any other color than a white background. It just works. (I use black)
5.) If you have a beta, while they are beta-ing have them read your fic out loud. Yes, I know a lot of betas/writers do not have the luxury of face-timing or have the opportunity to do this due to time constraints etc but reading your fic out loud can catch some very awkward phrasing that otherwise might be missed. If you don't have a beta, you read it out loud to yourself. Throw some passion into your dialog, you might find a better way to word it if it sounds stuffy or weird.
6.) The moment you have an idea, write it down. If you don't have paper or a pen, EMAIL it to yourself or put it in a draft etc etc. I have sent myself dozens of ideas while laying down before sleep that I 10/10 forgot the next morning but had emailed them to myself and got to implement them.
7.) Remember - hits/likes/kudos/comments are not reflective of the quality of your fic or your ability to write. Most people just don't comment - even if they say they do, they don't, even if they preach all day about commenting, they don't, even if they are a very popular blog that passionately reminds people to comment - they don't comment (I know this personally). Even if your fic brought tears to their eyes and it haunted them for weeks and they printed it out and sent it to their friends they just don't comment. You just have to accept it. That being said - comment on the fic you're reading now, just do it, if you're 'shy' and that's why you don't comment the more you comment the better you'll get at it. Just do it.
8.) Remove unrealistic daily word count goals from your routine. I've seen people stress 1500 - 2000 words a day and if they don't reach that they feel like a failure and they get discouraged. This is ridiculous. Write when you can, but remove absurd goals. My average is 500 words a day in combination with a 40 hour a week job and I have written over 200k words from 2022-2023.
9.) There are dozens of ways to do an outline from precise analytical deconstruction that goes scene by scene to the minimalist bullet point list - it doesn't matter which one you use just have some sort of direction. A partial outline is better than no outline.
10.) Write for yourself, not for others. Write the fic you know no one is going to read. Write the fic that sounds ridiculous. You will be so happy you put it out in the world and there will be people who will be glad it exists.
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Hi guys. Am sick rn, but had wanted to post this before I go and sleep.
Some of you may already know that patreon sent out an update that charges anyone using ios to subscribe to artist's patreons 30% more.
I immediately feel this impact mere hours later, and now, days later. I'm hemorrhaging patrons & have less income. It would mean the while world to me if you guys could please reblog this.
If you use the desktop version or the android app? you will not have to pay 30% more. Needless to say this decision of apple has completely fucked me over months and months to come, unless I somehow make up for my loss by other means.
My patreon is only a dollar a month!
I have around 400 exclusive artwork on it :)
I am working on uploading more art there, and more comics once I am done with my current contract as a comic artist.
I am currently partially homeless- so being alive in general is hard ;y; I wanted to focus more of my work on patreon, until this update- I only have one tier.
I am working as hard as I can, every month ♡ I am also the caretaker of three disabled people- as my dad, who used to do all the housework, is now too sick with a swollen liver that could possibly be connected to his heart problems, and my mama who has limited movement- she "died" of sepsis many years ago after giving birth to my sister, and was revived with nerve damage. I don't know the medical terms, but she was brain dead for however long, and was successfully brought back in a different hospital. She was comatose for months; this event has lead to my family losing everything in hospital bills, our car, our house (literally we became homeless) ah. But long story short, I am the only person in my family who works- as my sister is a teenager, and she is autistic with a very, very low frustration threshold, as she is also a picky eater and still going to school! I'm sorry, many of my followers already know this story by now, I have already doxxed myself multiple times trying to avert crisis after crisis, ahaha. But yes. Patreon added to my cart of Sorrows, and would love to have more folks who aren't using apple, or are using android and the web to come on over and maybe enjoy some of my private art up there. I post around 3-6 art a month, if I am lucky 7. I want to keep making art, and my patreon was what was giving me a semblance of stability until that silly update. Sorry for the long post, and I appreciate everyone helping, reblogging, saying kind words to me, praying for me. G-d bless you all, and stay safe
My patreon:
Direct tipping jar:
My print shop!
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can we get Toji reacting to reader's pregnancy
Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader
Warnings: Pure Fluff
Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi
Ever since finding out that you’re eating for two, you’ve found yourself distressed. Not because this isn’t something that you were planning– Well partially because of that, but mainly because you don’t know what your boyfriend thinks of having more kids. You don’t have the heart to tell him that you’re expecting.
You don’t know how you’ve never had this conversation before, especially since you’ve started to talk about getting married. You know that he has a teenager, and probably he’s done with that part of his life. You also know that you’d be delighted to have kids, but if Toji wouldn’t want to have a child, you’re okay with that too. Your pregnancy changes everything though.
“Aren’t you two here early?” You ask, staring at the front door as Megumi and Toji walk in. Toji has a frown in his face while Megumi walks ahead, not a care in the world. You notice a stain on his school uniform and you tell him, “Put it in the washer, I’ll take care of it, Megs.”
“No, he can deal with the consequences of his actions in his little vacation.” Toji quickly speaks up, making you cock an eyebrow. You look back and forth between Toji and Megumi, hoping someone is going to fill you in. “Go to your room, Megumi. I can’t stand to look at your face anymore.”
“What happened?” You direct your attention to your husband since Megumi listens to his father and goes to his room. Toji sighs, walking over to you and pressing a kiss on your forehead. “Don’t tell me he–”
“Got into a fight. Got called in the middle of work to deal with his ass– Hey, at least he won.” Toji can’t help but chuckle because even though he’s mad, part of him still feels oddly proud. His kid is somewhat of a troublemaker, but hey, at least the kid can fight. He says something that makes the thoughts of worry that you pushed to the back of your mind, come back and even stronger. “Just glad I don’t have to deal with this much longer.”
“Right.” You awkwardly laugh. You follow Toji to your living room, and take a seat beside him on your couch. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, you do this all the time, but Toji immediately knows that something is off. Your face wastes no time in telling on you.
“You okay? You look a little off.” Toji comments, throwing his arm over you and bringing you closer to him. You’re a little far today when you’re usually all over him. The man loves his personal space, but not when it comes to you.
“Weird day… Weird week.” You mutter the last part, but Toji hears it loud and clear. He kisses the top of your head before asking,
“You know you can tell me anything, right?” He proceeds to kiss the top of your head, and you bite down your lip. You have to tell him eventually, and you know that maybe this isn’t the right time to tell him, but he senses something is up.
“What do you think about having kids with me?” You speak a little fast, and if he wasn’t listening closely, he would have to ask you to repeat yourself. Toji takes a moment to think about it, acting perplexed. His silence is killing you and just when you’re about to repeat the question, he speaks up.
“Is this about the pregnancy test I found in the bathroom?” Toji mentions, and your eyes go wide. He’s known? He’s known all this time? He ends up kissing the tip of your nose before pecking your lips, “I’m happy with anything as long as I get to do it with you.”
“What about the comment that you made–” You begin and he interrupts you.
“Was about Megumi, I’m making sure this one isn’t a troublemaker.” Toji clarifies as his hand goes to your lower abdomen. “I’m excited about this. I was wondering how long it’d take you to share.”
“Next time, speak up, I was scaring myself to death.” You lightly slap his chest, and he chuckles. You’re glaring at him, while he smirks at you. “You’re in so much trouble right now. Why didn’t you tell me immediately?”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
#toji x y/n#toji zenin#toji fushiguro x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#toji fushiguro#daddy toji#fushiguro toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu toji#jjk toji#toji x reader#toji x you#dilf toji#toji fushiguro x you#toji fluff#toji imagine#toji fushiguro fluff#fushiguro toji x reader
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Knock You Down
Summary: James Bucky Barnes is an avowed bachelor and one night stand artist. But when he meets you, he finds out that sometimes love comes around, and it knocks you down.
Word count: less than 2K
Pairing: Art Dealer (mob boss) Bucky Barnes x Reader
A/N: This fic was in part inspired by Seb Stan's latest pics and this press run 🫠, and partially inspired by an old song by some problematic people, lol. This is the result. As usual, I am Basil Exposition, so this is broken into parts. Part II is already in the queue and will be posted on Friday, 10/11.
Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Read at your own risk. Slow burn, cursing, mutual pining, Bucky the player, wild thoughts, kisses on the hand and the cheek. No sex!
I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘
I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.
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"Won't see it coming when it happens. But when it happens you're gonna feel it, let me tell you now."
Bucky always scoffed at Steve’s advice. He and Sam never understood his solitary bachelorhood and his one night stand lifestyle.
The truth was, he hadn’t met anyone who held his interest enough to warrant a second date, much less anything beyond one casual hookup. So, he never made promises that he couldn’t keep, and most women said they were down for that.
Even if they were lying to themselves.
At 42, James Buchanan Barnes was too dedicated to his business, ostensibly as an art dealer, for a serious relationship. The truth was that he dealt in many things, and that was why his business needed so much attention.
His life and everyone’s around him depended on it.
Bucky Barnes wasn’t going to get caught slipping.
In love or in business.
—---
The first time you met James Buchanan Barnes, on what you thought would be a random Monday afternoon, he appraised you in a way that shook you to the core, those ocean blue eyes looking into your soul. You felt as if he were evaluating a piece of art as he gazed at you across his desk.
You couldn’t know that he felt the exact same way.
His eyes never strayed from your face as he shook your hand, but he’d noticed every bit of you as you entered his gallery, Rebirth. You were more stunning than any piece of art that he’d ever curated in the space.
While nothing like his normal type, you made Bucky feel as if he’d been so wrong about so much in his life the moment you entered his orbit. He had to get to know you to find what he’d been missing.
This afternoon you were a sight to behold and serving body. Although you were covered from neck to shin in an elegant sheath dress, the high, wrapped waist was giving all of your bounteous curves up to whoever glanced at you. And you had heads turning.
Steve, Sam, and even Natasha craned their necks to watch you as you entered Bucky’s office. And he could have sworn that Nat’s neck was at a 90 degree angle as she watched you leave her desk just outside his door.
You were fine as hell.
Bucky was entranced by dreams of handling your curves and making you smile at him forever.
As Bucky dreamed, you admired the man in front of you. Tall, dark, and handsome, Barnes wasn’t a young man, but the gray in his beard and the crinkles around his eyes made him that much more attractive.
Even more attractive than in the paparazzi pics of him with various young models and actresses of the moment, waifs and ingénues with whom he was never photographed twice.
You just knew you were safe from any advances from him.
You thought.
“Enchanté, Ms. Y/LN. It is a pleasure to meet you."
Bucky lowered his head as he greeted you, a slight bow and extended his hand to his desk. You noticed the tattoo that started on his hand and seemed to go up his sleeve and went in the direction he pointed.
"You know, you are quite tenacious. I don’t take many meetings with potential buyers. But all of my people told me that I should.”
The silk of his voice, the unexpected tenor of it, and the way he took your hand made you shiver at the aura of experience that he gave off.
The word Daddy floated around in your mind for a moment until he invited you to sit.
You had to concentrate on the business at hand, that of negotiating for a piece of art for the Art and Culture Center in Brownsville, of which you were the director. The purchase was made possible by benefactors to commemorate a deceased Brownsville artist who became famous, then forgotten, during the Harlem Renaissance.
“You’ve made it past Ms. Romanoff, my gallerist, Mr. Wilson, my business manager, and Mr. Rogers, my gallery director, Ms. Y/LN. What makes you think that I’m going to give you a different answer? Letting that piece go for the price you’ve proposed is not a good business move.”
“You can’t afford to miss out on this opportunity, Mr. Barnes. Yes, you will be taking a loss on the artwork, but you will be on the ground floor of a major rediscovery. You will be known as one of the few who helped to resurrect the brilliance of the artist Howard Benson. You can be the Alice Walker to his Zora Neale Hurston.”
And that is when Bucky leaned back in his chair, astounded at your shrewd calculation.
“I love the way your mind works, Ms. Y/LN.”
You smiled and settled back into your chair, causing Bucky to shift in his chair. He wanted to be buried in you. He appraised and decided that he liked the pout that changed your lips almost as much as the smile that initially greeted him when he replied, “But that price is still unacceptable.”
You raised an adorable eyebrow at him and rose to the challenge that he lay at your feet ready to tangle with the inimitable James Barnes. The conversation stretched from early afternoon to dinner time, making you suspect that Barnes was drawing it out for some reason. You matched him, point for point, until it was dark. But he yielded no ground.
The conversation was intellectual foreplay: art history, sociology, american politics. And it was the most stimulated you’d been in a while.
You could do this all night.
Your phone buzzed and you looked down. There were several text messages and emails lighting up your screen. You’d been in deep with Barnes for hours. It was after 6 pm. It seemed like only minutes. You noticed that it was only you and Bucky left in the gallery and rose to excuse yourself, albeit reluctantly.
“Oh! I’m sorry to keep you so long. I’m sure that you must have plans.”
You’d done your research and you knew that there was probably someone little more than half Barnes’ age waiting for him. When you searched social media, there was a sighting or spotted every month or so of Bucky and a young, beautiful woman.
You reached for your coat, but Bucky was behind you in seconds, taking it from you and helping you put it on. You shivered at his breath at your throat and his hands on your collarbone as he draped the lapels over your neck. His deep chuckle made your stomach flip. He saw right through you.
“No one is waiting for me but my cat, Alpine. How about you, Ms. YLN? Anyone waiting for you in Brownsville?”
“Not tonight. No.”
Why in the world were you doing the sultry whisper thing? This man didn’t want you.
Did he?
You cleared your throat and you felt dizzy when you looked up and saw how close he was standing to you. Those eyes and the smile that graced his handsome face had you warm, but the way he licked his lips had you spiraling.
Bucky pushed down a mild sense of panic that someone might be expecting you some other night, but that was irrational. Competition never ever entered his mind when he talked to other women.
What was happening here?
“Well I would consider myself extremely fortunate and would be honored if we could continue this conversation over dinner.”
—-
The way James Barnes turned your meeting into a dinner date had your head spinning, but the wonderful conversation and easy, light hearted banter eased your mind. As soon as the first course was served at your table at dinner at Bohemian, he agreed to your initial price.
From there, once the terms were settled, the conversation turned to more personal questions, each of you sharing the stories of your life in your town, his childhood in Romania, your childhood in Brooklyn, and lots of funny stories.
At one point early in the night, Bucky stopped you from calling him Mr. Barnes.
“Please. Call me James. Or you could call me Bucky. My Friends call me Bucky. For my middle name, Buchanan. Bucky is short for Buchanan.”
Bucky found himself rambling. He had not been this nervous in a while.
You looked at him quizzically. At that moment, he would give you anything you were about to ask of him.
“Do you have a lot of friends? I mean, do a lot of people call you Bucky?“
Godamn, the husk in your voice, those lips, those eyes. Everything about you was about to set him on fire.
“I have a few who are in my close circle. Natasha, Steve, Sam. They and a very few others call me Bucky. Most people I speak with call me Mr. Barnes...”
You nodded slowly, licking your lips, making Bucky feel it in his cock.
“Then I will call you James.”
He got your subtle meaning. You wanted to be different.
And you were. So very different.
After almost five hours of the best conversation and laughter, he proposed another time for you two to meet before the week was up, on Friday. He had made it clear at dinner that now that business was concluded that he wanted to spend time with you.
Friday night would be a date, the second one at his insistence.
You debated that fact as his driver took you home, even up until he walked you to the door of your brownstone.
He leaned against your doorframe and checked you out as you retrieved your keys from your purse. When you turned and caught him looking, you gasped, causing him to straighten up and move toward you, eyes dilated.
“It will be our second date,” you conceded.
Bucky’s mouth curled into a smirk as he grabbed your hand and lifted it to his mouth. Your soul burned as he pressed his lips to your palm. It was like the hint of a drug in your veins and you wanted so much more.
“What made you change your mind?”
That voice. Did you have a voice kink? Good lord.
You flushed, both at the images that were racing through your mind, and at the arbitrary three date rule you’d made up a while ago. Why was that again?
You cleared your throat.
“Because of the way you are looking at me, James. And the fact that you just kissed me.”
“Is this a kiss?”
“Ummhmmmm.”
You hummed as Bucky raised his eyebrow and your hand again. This time, he brushed his lips against your wrist and inhaled the perfume lingering there. You were about to melt.
Bucky didn’t even know what he was doing. The next step in his mind was to open his mouth and consume you, but he opened his eyes and spied you looking at him in that way, and he knew he had to stop. He didn’t want this to be like all of his other conquests.
He straightened up, but didn’t let go of your hand, entangling your fingers together.
“You are correct, Y/N. In my mind, this is a date. I am interested in you, for more than just your taste in art. I hope that this is the first date of many.”
You were bowled over at his straightforwardness. It was not what you were used to. This was a man, not a boy in mens clothing.
“I appreciate your honesty, James.”
You went on tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, your lips lingering on the black and grey stubble so close to his lips. You turned around, giving him a view of your backside as you opened your door.
“And your ambition.”
You gave him that smile again with a wink, and your “Goodnight, James,” floated up to him on cloud nine.
——-
Let me know if you liked it!
Part II here.
#falloween#falloween 24#kinktober#kinktober 24#ramp-it-up falloween ‘24#bucky barnes#Art dealer! Bucky Barnes#mob boss! Bucky Barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky barnes x plus size reader#bucky barnes x black!reader
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THE ROLL OVER SIGNAL & SLEEP PARALYSIS
Hi ! I found yesterday a very interesting post on the internet where someone was talking about the roll over urge and its connection to sleep paralysis. I hope it may helps some people and maybe give a new perspective on it !
( cr to Nick Newport ! )
In the post he talks among other things about having discovered two types of sleep commands : "SLEEP STARTERS" & "SLEEP TRIGGERS" and I will get later a bit into them <mostly quoting him> , and how I personally understood them .
— SLEEP STARTERS !
" Sleep starters are what you use to get the body to start thinking maybe it’s time to fall asleep. For instance , using stop drop and roll is a sleep starter because it makes your body ask for permission to fall asleep artificially creating the roll signal. "
So basically , when you do certain things ( such as going to bed , lying down , stop moving as much as you do when you’re not planing on resting ) you‘re sending signals to your body which causes it to start thinking about falling asleep. [that’s also one of the reason many people experience the roll over urge , hot- and cold flashes , random itches,… these are all tricks your brain sends to you to figure out if the mind is asleep!]
— SLEEP TRIGGERS !
"Sleep triggers are how you then tell it :'Yes: fall asleep right now’. SDR has an implicit sleep trigger: when you simply ignore the roll over signal the body interprets it a trigger to enter sleep paralysis"
I am not really sure what SDR means , but : if you ignore the signals (roll over urge/ urge to move, urge to scratch,…) you‘re basically confirming to your body that you‘re asleep and if it‘s convinced it starts to put the body into a sleep paralysis to prevent your body from acting out in dreams ! — they also help to convert from a 'partial paralysis' into full paralysis
Before I explain a couple of triggers and starters I wanted to add that he said in his video that he did not meditate or that he was totally relaxed (in fact , he stated he was fairly tense) as he got a sleep paralysis! He simply just ignored the roll over urge . And due to him being extremely surprised that a wave of sleep paralysis rolled over him, he decided to experiment several months with different techniques , variations & ways to command the body into sleep !
SO : YOU DON‘T HAVE TO BE VERY RELAXED AND TO HAVE A CLEAR MIND INORDER TO EXPERIENCE SLEEP PARALYSIS !<3
of course it can make it waaay easier to archive a sleep paralysis and make things probably more comfortable and faster , BUT it’s not needed !
— ★ . SLEEP STARTER
" Stop Eye Micromovements "
"During the day the eyes are searching for changes in motion. Because of this they make tiny micro movements all the time and at the end of they day they are still making these micro movements even though you may want to go to sleep.
If you close your eyes and try to keep them still you'll find that after about 30 seconds they are still twitching very slightly. It's not easy to totally relax the eyes. However if you can keep them at complete ease for several minutes the body will interpret that as a signal that the mind may have fallen asleep. In fact if you keep your eyes still your body will often fall asleep even if the rest of your muscles are fairly tense "
He also says that you can before sleep , relax your eye muscles by rolling them around in wide circles in both directions several times to ease the tension and letting them rest !
[ Nick Newport also talks about another sleep trigger : mimicking sleep breathing & different breathing styles in order to trick the brain ! ]
• I tried it earlier myself , and I have to say that it really helps !
— ★ . SLEEP TRIGGERS
" Pause Breaths "
"The first trigger is pause breaths. When you reach 90% paralysis, the reason the body doesn't go to full paralysis is it has a bit of doubt about just how asleep the mind really is. This is because of muscle tension. The best solution is to relax more deeply but sometimes that's not possible.
What you can do is exhale and pause for 2 or 3 seconds. Relax as much as you can and then begin breathing again like normal. By relaxing your breathing you reduce your overall tension just barely enough to send a signal to complete the paralysis. During those 2 or 3 seconds you'll feel the paralysis deepening. Sometimes you may have to use 2 or 3 pause breaths about 15 seconds apart. When you do this, you're not trying to alter your blood oxygen levels or anything like that. The purpose is to simply lower your overall muscle tension just long enough to paralyze completely."
[ screen taken from his video ! ]
" Muscle Twitching "
"The second sleep trigger is muscle twitching which was actually the first sleep trigger I ever found. I reached partial paralysis and on a whim decided to try twitching my right forearm to see what happened. To my surprise my entire arm paralyzed. I then twitched my right calf and my right leg paralyzed. I gradually paralyzed my entire body that way and completed the separation.
In other words muscle twitching only paralyses the surrounding muscles. I've actually found that I could paralyze just a single finger by twitching it when in partial paralysis."
" How To Do Muscle Twitching "
"To do this twitch once every second or two when you're in about 95% paralysis. The twitch is very gentle and only lasts the smallest fraction of a second. If you twitch your forearm the rest of your arm should not move at all. If you twitch too hard you'll wreck the paralysis so keep it very light.
Probably the reason this works is when you dream you try to move your muscles but sleep paralysis prevents you from moving. However you do move your muscles just a bit when dreaming which causes muscle twitching. This means the body associates muscle twitching with deep sleep so one way to mimic deep sleep is to use muscle twitching."
" Up and Down Eye Movements "
"The third sleep trigger is up and down eye movements. With your eyes closed you simply move your eyes up and down as fast as you can for about 10 seconds. I've never been able to get it to work using left and right movements. However there is actually a type of hypnotic psychotherapy called "eye movement desensitization and reprocessing" or EMDR which uses side to side eye movements. You may try experimenting with side to side movement to complete partial paralysis but I find up and down is a safer bet."
— ★ . The "Order" to use Triggers
The most reliable strategy coming from him is to start with a few pause breaths , which usually is all it takes to get to 100% paralysis ! If that doesn’t work , he suggests using the twitching method. For the case that it’s still no use : the up and down eye movements. " If that doesn't work just relax for a few more minutes before using the triggers again. "
I want add at this point a couple of things : first of all , I think it totally depends on you , what you want to use first and also that you DON‘T need any of this methods to get into a sleep paralysis and that there are also countless other techniques. Not to forget,that your body experiences every time it goes into REM sleep, a sleep paralysis, just we‘re not aware of it because our minds aren‘t awake. So having a sleep paralysis is something normal and there is no need to overthink or beat yourself up over !<3
— ★ . When to use Sleep Triggers
"I've experimented using sleep triggers to go directly from awake to asleep but that doesn't seem to work. I find that for up and down eye movements to work you need to be in about 99% paralysis, muscle twitching works at about 95% paralysis and pause breaths work at about 90% paralysis. So it's best to start out using sleep starters and then switch to triggers for the last step."
— ★ . SUMMARISE
There are two types of Sleep Commands ( starters & triggers ) :
— Starters : help to think the body about falling asleep
— Triggers : indicates that the mind is probably asleep and grants the brain to put the body into sleep paralysis
If you ignore the signals your body sends you ( roll over signal ,… ) you end up in a sleep paralysis!
It doesn’t matter if your body is tense, ; your mind unfocused- filled with thoughts or empty — your body will still go one way or another in a sleep paralysis ! ( patience is key ! )
Sleep triggers ( eye movements , pause breathing, muscle twitching… ) can help to trick your mind even faster and help to erase any doubt of your mind , to induce a full paralysis !
You don’t need any method to induce sleep paralysis, but it can help !
⋆⋆⋆ good luck !
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 other cool sleep paralysis posts !
++ her entire acc
#shifting antis dni#shifting blog#shifting community#reality shifting#shiftblr#reality shift#desired reality#shifters#manifesting#shifting methods#sleep paralysis
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