#this is not healthy for my weak fangirl heart

[epitomees]

ship bias for kotone, goooo :3c

Send ‘Ship Bias’ and I will share up to 5 ships I have a bias for my muse!

Shinjiro (IT IS LIKE THE ULTIMATE GRUMPY X SUNSHINE SHIP I'VE EVER SEEN AND THEY MAKE MY HEART SOAR AND I LOVE THEM TO PIECES AND AAAAAAAAAAAA I JUST WANT TO SMOSH THOSE TWO TOGETHER SO BADLY!!)

2. Ryoji (They rotate in my head on the daily. Other than the connection they already have, I adore how goofy and silly they can be together. But also....you know....an immortal being falling in love with a mortal, that's the good kind of ship. We support monster x human relationships here!)

3. Akihiko (GOD THEY ARE JUST THE SWEETEST EVER!! Sparring together, training outside of Tartarus, maybe having eating competitions together, I love them so so much. And it's always nice when Kotone can take the guy away from being subjected to rabid fangirls~)

4. Aigis (Another very obvious one too!! Fate intertwining with them, leading to their meeting again several years later, I adore that kind of trope so much. And of course, a robot with no emotions and no feelings falling for a human who loves so unconditionally makes me weak in the knees.)

5. Yukari (The best friends ever!! Friends to lovers dynamic right here, and I support how they help each other overcome their own obstacles throughout the story. Yukari is always there to aid Kotone, and Kotone wants to be there for Yukari when she struggles. Healthy, yuri love so deep it makes you wanna cry.)

[emskewitz]

This boy climbed up my bias list way too fast and it is not okay. Not at all!

I can't really tell what it is but there is something about him that makes me want to give him all my love and protect him. Heck, I even had the urge to tell him that I love him at the hi-touch and I have never ever done this to any of my other biases at a hi-touch event, not even to my ub Sunny..

WHAT IS HE DOING TO ME??! THIS IS NOT ALRIGHT!!

[idy-ll-ique]

They Always Do.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: insecurity

Requested: Nope

Summary: "you're not worried? he seems to be spending a lot of time with her..." "no" "why not?" "because i braced myself for this months ago. they leave, they always do. it's nothing new"

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! The first part of this fic is fluff, angst in the middle, fluff again at the end. Nothing too extreme, just a little one-shot. Enjoy!

---

"Sebastian, Y/N, so glad you made it!" Susan Downey smiled warmly at the couple. "Of course, we couldn't miss the 56th birthday of the one and only Iron Man," Sebastian chuckled, walking into the house with his girlfriend. He put his arm around Y/N, observing the place. "Guys! Hello!" they heard.

"Mr Downey," Y/N greeted politely, turning to smile at the birthday boy. "You must be the girlfriend," he grinned, pulling her into a bear hug. "Yep, that's me." Then he turned to Sebastian, frowning. "Why didn't you introduce her to everyone sooner?" Y/N laughed as Sebastian rubbed the back of his neck, shrugging.

"Don't ask me, she was the one too chicken to meet you!" Sebastian defended himself, narrowing his eyes at his girlfriend. She snorted as Robert let go of her, returning to Sebastian's side. "I guess that's on me," she sighed dramatically, making both men laugh. "Well, enjoy yourselves! Have a drink, have fun!"

With that, he walked away. Sebastian noticed a server holding up a tray of drinks and called him over. He handed a glass to Y/N and took one for himself, taking a sip. "Thanks for bringing me over, honey," Y/N smiled and he turned to her, scoffing. "You're my girlfriend! God knows they were dying to meet you," he laughed, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

With that they went around the place, talking to new people, old friends and making new acquaintances. Y/N had a lot of fun meeting Sebastian's co-stars, and especially loved Elizabeth Olsen. Y/N was a huge Marvel fan and one of her favorite works of the MCU was WandaVision. Y/N had fangirled a bit, not gonna lie.

Like that passed an hour. After her feet started hurting, Sebastian decided it was time for the woman to sit down, have a drink and chill out. "Okay doll, here's a glass of champagne, if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to call me, okay? I'm going there, with Chris and Anthony. I love you." She smiled when he gave her a quick kiss.

"I love you too, and don't worry, I'll find you easy. This place isn't that big."

"I heard that!"

Laughing at her antics, Sebastian gave his girlfriend one more loving kiss before prancing out of the room in search of his best friends, Chris Evans and Anthony Mackie. Y/N relaxed on the comfortable couch with a sigh, sipping on her drink. It all began a year ago, very cheesily, might I add.

Y/N was at her favourite coffee shop when he had walked in. Immediately, fans had him surrounded, but she didn't go over to him. She stayed seated, looking at him, wishing she could go over but she knew how stressful fan interactions were for celebrities. Sebastian had, unfortunately, caught her eye and she had turned beet red, burying her face in her laptop.

He had found her absolutely winsome and after the crowd around him had dissipated, he had wandered over to her table and introduced himself. She was flustered around him, which made him tingly inside. And he had blurted out, "Wanna meet here next Saturday at 7?" They kept their promise and that's how they started dating.

A year ago.

That was a healthy amount of time.

Right?

Y/N couldn't help but have her doubts. All her previous relationships were pathetic failures, where the guy usually got bored of her within 3 months. But now, she had braced herself for rejection (which she knew deep down wasn't coming but it pays to be careful). "Hey."

Startled, she turned to see a kinda young, kinda drunk woman sitting next to her, looking up at her with doe eyes. "Hi," Y/N smiled back politely. "You're— you're the woman!" She had started slurring her words, which made Y/N frown a bit. "I'm… what?" she blinked. "The girl! Who came over with Sebastian Stan, you're his girlfriend!" The woman laughed loudly.

A few heads turned towards them but quickly looked away when they realized that the girl was drunk. "Yep, that's me. Why?" Y/N was now amused. As they talked, she didn't notice Sebastian walking into the room. He had come back to ask Y/N something but had paused in his tracks when he saw her frowning at the young, drunk woman.

Then he inched closer, unabashedly eavesdropping on her conversation. "Yep, saw him spending a lot of time with Ms Lizzie Olsen. If he was mine, girl, I would take that man home and show him who truly belongs to him, if you know what I mean," the girl winked and a sad smile bloomed on Y/N's face. "They're good friends, of course they're gonna spend time together."

Sebastian smiled at her answer. He knew she was different, she didn't get easily jealous and he liked that, since it reduced the number of arguments they had by a lot. His jealousy? Well, that's a story for another time… "You don't mind? He seems to be spending a lot of time with her…" the drunk woman frowned at Y/N.

Well, she was drunk, she wouldn't remember this night anyway, so maybe… it would be good to get some things off her chest.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I braced myself for this months ago. They leave, they always do. It's nothing new," Y/N admitted, swirling the champagne that was swimming in her half-full glass. Sebastian's heart shattered into a million pieces at her words. Before the words were even completely out of her mouth, tears had started stinging in his eyes.

"Y/N?" Startled yet again, Y/N turned to see Sebastian smiling at her. "Seb! Hi, thought you were with your friends!" she grinned at him. "I— uh— something came up, we need to go," he spoke quietly, fidgeting with his hands. Y/N's brows furrowed but she got up, collecting her coat and her purse.

"Can we at least say Happy Birthday to Robert?"

"Yeah, yeah of course." Sebastian managed a weak smile when she gave him a kiss on the cheek, going off to find Robert and Susan. She told them something urgent came up and they allowed the couple to leave. "Seb, let's go!" He followed her out of the house, meekly trailing behind her, the words she said ringing in his ears.

They leave, they always do. It's nothing new.

How had this woman, practically a Goddess, had such bad experiences that she was forced to think that way? He was never going to leave her, having found the perfect woman at last. He got into the driver's seat of his car, and the car ride home was quiet. Y/N was getting anxious. What happened to him? Did something happen at the party?

Once they were home, Sebastian couldn't help himself. "S—" Y/N yelped when he crushed her to his body, hugging her tightly. He took both of them to their shared bedroom, sat down on the edge of the bed, pulled her on his lap and buried his face in her chest, breaking down. "Seb, honey, what's wrong?" Y/N cooed, getting insanely paranoid.

The crying didn't stop for 15 minutes. Y/N, in a futile attempt to get him to stop, was running a hand through his hair, whispering sweet nothings in his ear, holding him close. When he took in a shuddering breath, he pulled away and finally looked Y/N in her eyes. "Now are you going to tell me what happened?" she smiled gently.

He took her hand, pressing a kiss to her wrist. "I'm sorry," he croaked out and Y/N frowned. "Sorry for what?" He shook his head, burying his face back in his safe haven. Except, Y/N wasn't having any of that. She pulled him away and dropped a soft kiss to his forehead. "Tell me what happened."

He took in another shaky breath.

"I… I heard you."

"Heard me?" Y/N blinked. "Yes. You were… you were talking to that girl on the couch and she was— she was talking about how I seem to be spending a lot of time with Lizzie and you— you said you didn't mind but she kept on insisting and you said they leave. they always do. I'm not going to leave you, Y/N, I promise. You're one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I'm not letting you go."

Oh.

"Seb," Y/N whispered, her own eyes now filled to the brim with tears. "Don't cry," he chuckled with a watery voice, wiping her tears off. "It's just— all my relationships before you… the guys were assholes. They always left 2-3 months in. I— I wasn't taking any chances with you, you know… plus, you're kind of a famous guy and you can get so many better women—"

He didn't want to hear it. Better than Y/N? Impossible. He pressed his lips to her, immediately deepening the kiss when she reciprocated. "I promise you, I cannot do any better than you." Y/N smiled shyly at his words and his heart filled with happiness. "Let's go to sleep."

Both of them tired from the crying, they got undressed without trying any funny business. Y/N put on her usual pair of shorts and one of Sebastian's huge t-shirts, getting into the bed where a boxer-clad Sebastian already lay. He pulled her into his arms and she rested her head on his chest, draping an arm around his taut abdomen.

"Comfy?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Yeah. Goodnight, doll, I love you."

"I love you too, Seb. Goodnight."

"...Never gonna leave you."

"Not a chance."

---

A/N: Thanks for reading! Leave a like if you liked it!

[chaoticevilorange]

Atsumu Miya x reader x Osamu Miya

Friendship headcanons; being childhood friends with the twins

Alright! You all share 1 braincell and belongs to Osamu

I mean, yes you're smart on daily basis, have decent grades (or are you a +A smart cookie?) but only whenever you're alone or with other friends

But when you're with the twins? No, forget it, you're doing dumb or chaotic shit

You guys are the ultimate definition of gremlin energy™ (at least you and Tsumu, Osamu has the eash)

Kita banned you from the gym :(

Because! whenever Tsumu was practicing you distracted him with a loud ass moan or shriek he MiSseD eVeRy sInGLe sHot as for Samu he took too many breaks just to talk with you

Being a constant menace to the public audience you guys decided to hang out in homes

Unless, someone is risking to have you guys in theirs

Not that you guys are unpleasant

But noone wants to hear Tsumu whine 15 minutes straight

Like... you guys know eachother's weaknesses and are not afraid to embarrass the other in front of ppl

When you and Tsumu learn about Samu's crush you guys were making kissy faces and gag noises for a week

Samu kicked Tsumu and punched your arm he lives for equality and you're his sister from other mother

When one of you is sad the other two has the mission to find out what's wrong while the other gets snacks Teamwork!

Ppl often asks if you're the younger sibling, they surprise when you say you're not a Miya

There is some fighting but never lasts more than a few days

You love eachother but doesn't mean you won't chew eachother faces when someone is being a little bitch

You have a group chat called "the musketeers" it's mainly about bullying Atsumu with his shitty twitters or swoon over Oikawa and his skills just to make him jealous

One time you tried to be a healthy bean and jog with them in early morning

"I might run from my problems but not for my health" you said bitterly, face flat in the couch while Osamu hands you a glass of water

One time you were on your period and... Yeah Tsumu asked you what's your pussy size 😩

Samu was buying your favourite snacks when he read the chat he told him and I quote "bigger than yours"

They end up buying one of each so now you're stacked for months :D different sizes 🎉🎉🎉

After learning about your pain they don't bother you during those days, they're chill about it

They are somehow more clingy when they think someone is taking away from them

Like, you were with your friends fangirling the whole week over *insert your favourite actor, actress, singer, anime etc* they missed you

So they started to hug you at random times in the school hallways or whenever they got the chance before you walked to your friends :')

You guys can't stay away from eachother too long, you are THE amazing trio

You'll always have a special place on their hearts uwu 💖

[fairydollsteps]

When They Have a Crush on You

Featuring: Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime

Oikawa Tooru:

When Oikawa has a crush on you, he would understand about it immediately but it will honestly be a little odd for him as this is the first time Oikawa has ever felt this genuine feeling from this one particular girl (you) despite the many times seeing other girls fawning over his look and charming personality.

Regardless, Oikawa does still feel warm with these foreign feelings and accepts his infatuation towards you quickly.

Oikawa would not act as he acts to his fangirls. He would be kind and reliable when he is around with you. When you need help, he would happy to help to show how helpful he is.

Oikawa won’t be really that flirty like how he usually be when he is with you because he is worry that some of his flirtatious lines would make you feel uncomfortable and then see him as kind of a creep. 

So instead he would randomly give you sweet compliments every time he sees you or when you help him like:

“Good morning Y/N-chan! you look pretty this early in the morning!” “Thank you for helping with my homework yesterday! You are really a smart person, Y/N-chan” “Eh? Did you just start to wear contact lenses? You look gorgeous without your glasses but I still love it when you wear your glasses,”

But doesn’t stop him to give you harmless teasing, he is a good friend with you so is natural for close friends to poke fun at each other and talk shit together.

Despite Oikawa being his usual cocky self, Oikawa can sometimes feel shy and nervous about you. His ears would turn pink when he give you compliments and stutter quite a bit when you are too close to him unintentionally.

Iwaizumi definitely tease him for how you can make the confident and grand Oikawa become a flustered mess just by being you. Yeah, Oikawa adores you for being you.

Oikawa would be the type to become happy when he received texts or a call from you. He is just so contented that he can spend some of his time talking to you especially when he feels bored. You both definitely gossip a lot and spilling the tea together.

I have a feeling that this boy is a hopeless romantic and a sucker for a healthy/fun relationship. So he is quite desperate for you to choose him as your boyfriend.

When it comes to confession, Oikawa has thought about it but shrugs it off, out of fear of rejection from you which later then leads his cherished friendship with you to end. So you would be the one to have to do it.

You confessed to him while comforting him after a harsh loss to Shiratorizawa. You saw him head on the knees, crying behind the school. The sight of his weeping state and each sound of his broken cries make you feel like your heart is pierced through by a sharp glass. You can hear him mumbling to himself for being weak and a burden to his teammates.

“Oikawa?” Oikawa jolt when he hears you call his name. Gosh, he wanted to run away so you don’t have to see him being pathetic. He wanted to show you the best of himself, not like this. 

“Y-Y/N I-I’m so-” “Is alright Oikawa, Is alright. Is not your fault. Here, wipe your face with a tissue and drink some water. You will feel better when you clean yourself up,” you said as you crouch down on his level and hand him the stuff.

Oikawa listened to you and do what you told him to do while looking away from you, absolutely ashamed of himself for making you see him in a pathetic mess. 

“Oikawa, listen, I am very proud of you when I see you on the court. You did amazing and excellent that I just can’t help but admire you more. So please, stop belittling yourself because of the loss and pushing yourself so hard just to impress me to show you are worthy for me to love. I already like you for a long time, ” you said, expressing your unsaid feelings to him.

“Wait, you already know?” Oikawa asked, finally looking at your soft gaze. “Um, yeah but I am still not sure about it so...”

“Yes, I like you too, so let’s date” Oikawa reply back eagerly.  

Iwaizumi Hajime:

Iwaizumi first realizes his crush on you when he catches himself staring at you when you are looking away. Like you are so beautiful and the way you use your pencil is elegant.

Iwaizumi quickly snap out from his daze, thinking himself some kind of a creep for looking at you like this. He just can’t help it, you are worth looking at.

Like Oikawa, you are a friend to Iwaizumi so not much has changed when Iwaizumi falls in love with you except that he would start to become a gentleman to you like holding the door for you, let you take the remaining seat when taking the train, and so on. 

Iwaizumi would also start to become protective over you. Basically, become your personal bodyguard. He would throw hands if there is anybody that is not caring about your personal space or when you are getting hit on (you are a very beautiful person btw) especially for Oikawa.

Expect a ball flying on Oikawa’s head whenever he flirts on you. The sight of Oikawa being all cheesy and stuff absolutely piss him off that you can see steam coming off from him, implying that he is about to kill Oikawa if he doesn’t back off.

No worries, Oikawa supports Iwaizumi’s infatuation with you. Iwaizumi did ask for advice from Oikawa but end up regretting it for a second as is too exaggerating and only ends up embarrassing himself. 

“Iwa-chan~ You got to lean closer to her and the-” “SHUT UP SHITTYKAWA! THAT IS JUST PLAIN STUPID AND CROSSING HER BOUNDARIES!”

It works without Oikawa’s futile advice instead Iwaizumi uses his ways which is natural. Like asking about the assignment due date, striking a conversation with ease, and studying together. Just get comfortable with each other presence. You would start to trust and enjoy being with Iwaizumi.

I can see Iwaizumi tries to act manly when he is around you. Like he would always be insisting to help you when you are carrying something that looks heavy. He would probably show you off his powerful strike when you go to his games to cheer him on.

When it comes to confession, Iwaizumi would be very hesitant about it as he is afraid to get rejected from you and end the friendship, then lose you. 

Even understanding the harsh consequences, Iwaizumi still loves you so much and wanted to tell you already because keeping it to himself makes his heartache a lot.

Iwaizumi would have kept his feelings longer if it wasn’t for Oikawa’s constant pestering to do.

Being a good friend, Oikawa decided to help his hopeless friend. “Listen, Iwa-chan. I would be serious this time and I just need you to do what I say,” Iwaizumi believes Oikawa as he looks determined and confident. Oikawa is just so invested in this relationship and thinks you two would be a cute couple.

However, when the time to actually confess to you faces facing, Iwaizumi completely forgets what he is about to say. The speech he has memorized and drilled in his head by Oikawa is gone. His mind turns blank.

You are sure to have an effect that can put a great impact on Iwaizumi just by your look.

Oikawa is probably hiding somewhere, screaming internally as all the time and effort for this moment is in vain as Iwaizumi is panicking and stuttering a lot along with a flustered expression on his face.

“Iwaizumi, what’s wrong? Just say it al-,”

“Y-Y/N, listen! I like you, okay? T-That’s why I-I call you -here,” Iwaizumi finally blurt it out to you. Gosh, he just wants to ram his head on the ground for being so stammering a lot and even saying it so loud.

What he didn’t expect you that you would boldly hug him in the front. You can kill him like that. “Y-Y/N-.”

“Dummy.. what took you so long? I also like you too,”

Thank you for reading. I am sorry if some part is cringy, I was writing late at night so my brain cell wasn’t working well.

[multiplefandomsblog]

Toko, Miu and Maki w/ a gentlemanly fem!s/o

request; Toko, Miu and Maki with female s/o who is the definition of gentleman?

warnings; fem!reader, female pronouns

note; sorry these headcanons were short, thank you for requesting!

Toko Fukawa

◊ At first, Toko thought you were only being nice because… Well, because- Uh.

◊ She couldn’t think of any bad intentions behind your actions, despite her doubts, you seemed too sweet to think of doing anything bad. 

◊ Every time you open the door for her to go inside the gym, she always gets a bit confused, and then irrationally offended. 

◊ ”Wh-why are you opening the d-door for me? Is it b-because you think I’m too w-weak to do it o-on my own?” She knew she was overreacting, but she wanted to make sure if you had any bad intentions. “No, y-you’re perfectly strong enough to do it on your own, I just think that you should go first! And that-” “O-okay, I get it.” She thought you were kind of cute. Your nervousness made her nerves ease in a strange way, letting her relax a bit around you.

◊ After that, Toko’s thoughts on you had changed. She thought you were kind of charming and attractive. She compared you to all those princely gentlemen in the novels she’s written and read.

◊ You had greeted her with a nice, firm and friendly handshake, which she appreciated but at the same time thought was grossly formal. Did you think you were better than her? But she would shut those thoughts down every time you’d flash her that smile.

◊ All the compliments you attempt to say to her fall on deaf ears, she never believes any of them. Though that doesn’t mean you’ll ever stop trying to get her to believe them. Her self-esteem was too low for her to ever even think of herself as to how you see her.

◊ She’d always flush and then deny it, scoffing out a sarcastic, “Y-yeah, right.” every time.

◊ Although she didn’t believe any of your flattery, that didn’t mean she didn’t love it. You were like that one princely character from that romance book she had read, but real. Every time she’d go back to her dorm after talking to you, she’d fangirl in her room for an hour(thank god the walls were soundproof).

◊ Every time you’d do gentlemanly things for her like, opening the door for her, pulling out her chair, and eventually buying her flowers; her heart would skip a beat. Everyone would stare at the two of you in shock when she says a timid ‘t-thank you’ for pulling out her chair.

◊ D-did, Toko Fukawa just say, ‘Thank you’!?

◊ Overall, I think Toko with a gentlemanly s/o would be a healthy, healthy relationship.

Miu Iruma

◊ When Miu had noticed your polite behaviour around her, the first thing that came to mind was, ‘Does she want to fuck me???’ She mistook your gentlemanly behaviour as sexual advances being made towards her, so she’d do the same back.

◊ “You look nice today, Miu.” You’d bow, to which she’d reply, “Well damn, get on your knees and lick me already! Kyahahaha!” 

◊ Every time you did an act of gentlemanly service, she would get quite cocky. Saying stuff like, “That’s right my peasant! Open that door for your master!” To which you did so, albeit a bit hesitantly. 

◊ Her confident exterior very easily breaks if you start doing bolder things for her. Like, lending her your jacket or your arm.

◊ She’d get defensive, “I don’t want your filthy jacket!” and all you’d have to say to get her to wear it is, “I’m only going to offer this to you once.” Though it wasn’t very gentlemanly of you, it was the only way to get her to drop her pride. She’d submit easily and quickly take your jacket, “J-jeez, do you get off on ordering girls around?”

◊ She’s most likely never to open a door for herself ever again, always relying on you to open it for her. 

◊ One time, you guys were short on chairs so Miu couldn’t sit. So you offered your seat to her, moving to stand up. But she had thought you meant a different seat, so before you could stand up all the way, she had uttered out an, “Ok, fine you perv.” Before, slamming her ass on your lap, successfully pushing you back in your seat. 

◊ Everyone’s head turned to look at the both of you, “S-she’s the one who w-wanted to hump me!” As a calm and collected gentleman, you knew exactly what to say in that situation,

◊ “NO, YOU!”

◊ sorry, this is short, I didn’t have many ideas for her ;-;

Maki Harukawa

◊ Maki noticed your gentlemanly behaviour around her immediately, slightly bewildered at your kindness towards her. Why were you nice to her? Why weren’t you afraid?

◊ She was kind of annoyed by you at first, finding your actions pointless and a bother. She’d dismiss all your flattery and acts of courtesy.

◊ Nonetheless, it’s not like she hated you.

◊ The first time you had opened the door for her to go into the dining room, she had refused to go in first. She didn’t trust you, but it wasn’t personal because she didn’t trust anyone. She didn’t want to show her back towards you, it was just one of her habits that she had formed when she was trained as an assassin.

◊ Though you’d insist to always let ladies go first, to which she replied with, “You’re a girl too, idiot.” She rolled her eyes and opened the other door, going through there instead.

◊ Though you never gave up on your acts of service to her, you could be quite stubborn when you wanted to. Sooner or later though, she’d learned to adore your stubbornness.

◊ Eventually, she got used to it and started looking forward to your acts of service towards her. She had given up on trying to refuse it and instead, unknowingly embraced it.

◊ As usual, you had opened the door for her again, expecting rejection but you still had hope in your heart. 

◊ Maki hadn’t noticed your figure behind the door, walking through the door; As a result of you almost screeching from joy. She noticed your happy behaviour, confused as to why you were smiling but unconsciously smiling to herself nonetheless. Before quickly dropping her face, “It’s just a door, idiot. There’s no need to get excited over it.” You let out a sigh, a silly smile forming on your face, “You’re so cute, Maki.” 

◊ !?!?!??! 

◊ W H A T

◊ Not knowing what to do, she’d yell out, “D-do you want to diE?” It wasn’t like her usual threat; it was loud and her voice cracked.

◊ If you ever offer your arm to help her down the last stair(lmao), she’d look at you with a weird expression. “What are you doing.” You’d smiled at her dead tone, “Helping my lady.” Her face would flush and her eyes would avert, “Well, stop.” Don’t stop, she thought. You slightly shook your outstretched hand to her anyway, raising your eyebrow. She rolled her eyes, taking your hand anyway. “You’re a buffoon.” She said in a blank tone, causing you to let out a loud laugh. “I apologize for my buffoon..ness?”

◊ I ended this weird :\

[mmvalentine]

But You pt 2 | Feysand

Modern AU. Read Part 1 Part 3

Rhys hadn't seen Feyre in a year.

He had meant to see her, of course, but their colleges were so far away, and both he and Feyre had been busier with their workloads than they had anticipated. Feyre, in fine arts, had been part of no less than four community exhibitions since she had started. And Rhys in journalism had been told it was compulsory for him to join the school newspaper in his first year, so that ate up a lot of spare time.

And then of course there was that little voice in his head that played Feyre's words back to him day in, day out.

"You always want to see just me."

Rhys didn't know if she had meant it to sound accusatory, but had realised that night that he had monopolised her their whole life. She had been so keen to leave town and it suddenly occurred to him that out in the world, she would be free of him, wouldn't have to look out for him all the time, wouldn't have to think about the weird little hermit who hadn't bothered to make any other friends.

So Rhys put a lot of effort into to trying to wait until she initiated contact, to make sure that she had enough room to breathe and grow like she deserved without the stress of him hanging onto her. There were phone calls here and there, and Feyre always forwarded him the pamphlets for her shows. They were often on weeknights when gallery spaces were cheap to rent, and so Rhys never went. But he followed voraciously on social media and made sure to always share her work.

Missing Feyre was... was something she'd never understand, because she had actual healthy social networks. For Rhys, it had always been just Feyre, and being so far away from her made him feel like he was missing a limb. His arms, his legs, his Feyre. That's how it always had been, and he carried the ache around with him like a phantom itch.

Then finally his semester ended and Feyre called him up.

"Rhys!" she said when he picked up. The sound of her voice sent shivers down his spine, and he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers before he answered. He didn't want her to hear the shake in his voice. Didn't want to put his weakness on her, like he always did.

"Hey you," he managed to say. "Rhys, how come I haven't seen you all year?" Feyre asked him. "Because we're first years and being at the bottom of the food chain is a full time gig?" Feyre laughed, the husky sound of it melting Rhys' insides. "Well, it's officially our day off. When do I get to see my best friend?" Rhys shoved his phone between his ear and his shoulder, and continued folding his shirts.

"Well," he said, "I'm actually in your neighbourhood this weekend for an event, if you want to catch up." He was lying. "That would be amazing!" Feyre yelled. "You sure it's not too far?" "Of course not, I need to be there anyway." He didn't. "I'm packing my bag as we speak." He was. "Alright well, give me a call when you get here. I can't wait to see you." "Me neither," Rhys said, and his heart squeezed so painfully he closed his eyes. "Okay I guess I'll see you soon then! Bye!" Don't go, Rhys wanted to beg. Instead, he forced himself to say "Bye, Feyre," and hang up the phone.

In the end it took him 30 hours to drive down the coast. He didn't tell Feyre that. Just arrived breathless at the address she had given him, and knocked on her front door. Waited a second, then the door opened, and Feyre appeared, and Rhys was whole once more.

"Hey," he said, and then Feyre was hugging him and he was burying his face in her masses of honey-gold hair.

Inside her house, Feyre made them hot bitter tea and sat opposite him at the kitchen bench. She leaned forward with her hands in the sleeves of her sweater, and Rhys instinctively leaned forward too. It had been so long since he had seen her in person, so long since he had touched her.

"So," she said. "What's this event that you're going to?" "Event?" Rhys stared into her grey-blue eyes. "Yeah, what's so important you crossed the country for?" "Oh." Rhys remembered his excuse for coming up. "Yeah. I'm on assignment for my school newspaper." "In California?" "Yes? It's, uh..." he glanced at the newspaper folded up on the table. "The Adult Convention." Adult convention?! Feyre just raised an eyebrow.

"Well, it's a controversial topic, you have to admit. It's been banned in some states." Probably. "Right. So, for the sake of public interest and social conversation, you're going to go hang out with a lot of nearly naked people, and peruse the latest technology in self-pleasure." Rhys cocked head. "Interested in coming along, Feyre darling?" She snorted. "Not really my scene," she said. Rhys' eyes sparked. "Then what does turn you on?" She reached out and smacked him upside the head.

Rhys caught her fingers, and brushed his lips against them.

"I've missed you," he said quietly. Feyre's face softened, and she stroked his cheek gently. "I've missed you, too," she said. She dropped her hand, but Rhys held onto it on the table top and rubbed his thumb in her palm. "You've no idea," he said. "I missed your skin." "You did always need a lot of affection," Feyre murmured. "Is no one giving you hugs up there?" Rhys shook his head. "Not one," he said. He slid his elbows forward and put Feyre's hands on his face. "I'm starved." She leaned a little closer, and smiled fondly at him. "You big baby," she crooned. He put his forehead on hers, the magnetic pull of her overwhelming.

"You know," he said. "I think that I spent so much time with you I got desensitised. Now that I've been away... I can barely handle you." "Rhys," she sighed. Her breath blew across his lips, and not for the first time, he wondered what it would be like to taste her. To just move an inch closer, and lick the air from her lungs off her tongue.

At that moment, the sound of keys in the front door startled them apart. Feyre sat up straight, her finger slipping through his grasp and he growled under his breath.

"Hey Feyre," came a voice. A male voice. "Hey guys," Feyre called back. Guys plural?

Next thing he knew, two enormous men shouldered through the door with grocery bags, and filled the kitchen immediately, breaking the little tea-steam bubble they had at the table.

"Guys, this is my best friend from home, Rhys. Rhys, these are my housemates Cass and Az."

Rhys just gave a curt nod of his head.

"Nice to meet you," the bigger one said. "We're going out later, our friends have just set up a bar downtown and it's opening night. You're welcome to join us." That was the smaller one.

"No thanks," Rhys said smoothly. "I'm not into crowds." Feyre frowned. "Come on, it'll be fun. I'm going." "Nah, I've got to be up early." "Well," Feyre said, "then I'll stay here with you. I don't get to see you very often." "Aw no Feyre you have to come!" the bigger one wheedled. Cass, possibly.

And then Rhys remembered that Feyre had been tied to him for eons, and no one was as unfair to her as he was.

"Feyre you go," he said. "I have to go to that event anyway, remember?" "I thought that was tomorrow," Feyre said sadly. It almost broke him. "It's tonight, I have to leave tomorrow. Deadlines, and all that."

"Okay, we're sorry you'll miss it," Az said. "Feyre, we'll head off about six, okay?" Feyre smiled and gave him a nod, and then they disappeared into one of the bedrooms.

"So... those are your housemates huh?" "Yeah, they're lovely." "And are you... dating either of them?" "Rhys they're dating each other. They literally just disappeared into the same room." "Right, right."

Feyre stared at him.

"What's going on with you?" "Nothing," Rhys said. Too quickly. "Well, I should get going." "What? You just got here," Feyre said. "I know, I'm sorry. I really do have to get to that event." "Don't you want to stay and meet Cass and Az properly?" Rhys rolled his eyes. "You know how I feel about other people." Feyre gave him a half smile, that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Yeah. I do."

Rhys headed to the door. Before he could turn the handle, Feyre wrapped her arms around him once more.

"Let's not leave it so long next time, okay?" she said. "Okay," Rhys agreed, and didn't mean it.

He drove the thirty hours home, and when he saw an ad for exchange students to Brazil a week later, he put in an application.

****

Is this toooo much angst?!

TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-babies @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @loosingdreams @whythefuckdoiexist @inejsarrow @swankii-art-teacher

MASTERLIST

[wickedgamesoyaoya]

Tiny pelts of steaming liquid exited the overhead perforated nozzle above, cleansing each inch of skin from the sin that had stained it hours before. As your dainty fingers combed through the chemical mixture coating your long tresses, relief gradually thawed the tension that had contorted your muscles. How strange that a year could change so much. A touch that would once liven your senses has now dulled them. A touch that you would beg for, was now one you recoiled from. Yes, a year could change a lot.

The range of skin that had connected with his lips burned. Despite scrubbing the location with multiple facial disinfectants, the sensation lingered on. Twenty minutes later, you had accepted your fate – the sensitivity may never leave. After clothing yourself in a plain t-shirt and what you labeled ‘boyfriend sweats’, you poked your head out from behind the bedroom door to determine whether you still had a guest to entertain. It was almost 3am, and yet there he was. The most breathtaking male you had ever laid eyes on.

His dark irises flickered over to you, casually scanning for any sign of disturbance. He was worried, and you knew it. Curling your bottom lip into an exaggerated pout, your bare feet padded against the lament-flooring, bringing you to the couch where he was current situated on. Maintaining a minor distance, you settled onto the cushiony piece with your back finding partial support from the arm rest. Sakusa did not move to match your movements, instead he turned his head a smidge, just enough to catch your wandering stare. 

“Are you feeling better?” The question spilled from his lips in a gentle and sugary tone, one that was traditionally reserved for lovers.

“Mhm.” With the intensity of his stare far too much to bear, you began toying with the hem of your shirt mindlessly.

“Why did you do it?” Since he was alerted by his team-mate of her contentious decision, the question had plagued him. Logically, the choice to befriend your ex was unsound. Atsumu had clarified that emotions drove you, rather than reason. Yet, he found that answer unsatisfactory.

“I… wanted Ko to be happy. I’ve spent my whole life by his side, I made it my personal mission to make him smile. When he’s happy, I’m happy. I thought if I saw him smile, I could handle anything. Even that asshole.” It was impossible to withhold the groan that vibrated within the confines of your throat – you knew how stupid you sounded. With your senses frayed from the liquor and stress, it was a miracle you were able to create coherent sentences. “I was wrong. All of his advances today, I hated it. I couldn’t do it.” A heavy sigh had accompanied the final admission, at this point you were no longer able to maintain eye-contact. You hated how you sounded weak.

Except your self-denigration would not be tolerated by the outside hitter.

“I think I understand. You want to take care of everyone, but not yourself.” It occurred to him that you had completed some form of calculation, the issue was in your valuing system. You valued others far more than you valued your own feelings. “I won’t tell you to do otherwise, I don’t think you would listen anyway…So then, will you let me take care of you?” Extending a hand forward, the black-haired male brushed his fingers against your cheek, ushering aside any loose strands of hair. The tender and soothing motion had stolen any resolve you had to maintain a healthy distance from him.

“You can’t say something like that, you’ll give a girl the wrong idea.” You inhaled a breath to combat the urge to bring his lips against yours, yet found yourself dropping your forehead against his shoulder, craving any form of physical contact.

But what you did not know, was that you would get more than you bargained for.

Sakusa snuck an arm around you, lightly tugging your body closer as his freehand guided your head to rest against his chest. A crimson hue had instantly surfaced over your cheek; you had to ponder if this was simply a product of your intoxicated imagination. But the harmonic melody created by the sound of his beating heart was not something one could fabricate… And that burning sensation? It turned out, it was no match against sakusa kiyoomi.

It was never meant to be easy - burning

Masterlist -   Previous -  Next

A/N: my h e a r t writing this? ooft. 

TAG LIST: @kara-grayson04 @food8me @of-heroes-and-dreams @alyssasteaparty @astronomyturtle @fangirling-25-8 @angsty-microwave @shegrewupwithoutafather @90s-belladonna @lilacshouko @suna-allie @nekoma-hoe @kokogxddess @rinnieee @hamsterfan17​ @shakiraisawesome​ @sweethyunjin17​ @idiot-juice-enthusiast​ @namyari​ @cuddlesslut​ @chaosamu​ @tremendousglitterthing​ @aquariarose @anhphunnnn @kiyoomile​

[shadowturtlesstuff]

I’m sorry I’m not enough for you

The knife appeared suddenly and I watched as the colour drained from Audrey roses face as the metal kissed her neck. We both went still, eyes locked onto each other. I could feel my heart in my throat as once again I watched my love dance with death. I couldn't breathe. One wrong move and the knife would press down on her neck; id watch blood pool and drip and id watch the light leave her dazzling emerald eyes. I would watch my wife die and there was nothing I could do. There was never anything I could do. I wasn’t enough for her. I would always fail her. I would always be the cause-

“Thomas?'' Audrey Rose's face is above mine and she appears as though she is trying not to cry. I can't help but feel the same. I must have been having a nightmare. My Wadsworth isn’t dead or dying. She is safe. She is here. Her eyes are glassy as they assess me. Noting everything. I am breathing heavily and my vision is blurry. It was one of the most terrifying things I could have experienced but it was just a dream.

I pull Wadsworth over me, hugging her close as I bury my head in her shoulder. She presses kisses into my hair and tells me we are okay. It's not unusual for one of us to experience a nightmare, but the fear on my wife’s face shows me that my nightmare tonight was more severe than usual. Most times I see Audrey roses death, as that is what I am most afraid of. I pull her off me and kiss her nose. My attempt at a smile doesn't work as her face remains in a wince.

“At least pretend to be happy to see me darling.” My attempt at humour is weak as we both know we can't last a day without each other. “I am okay love, promise.” She doesn't look convinced but my heart is still in my throat and I can still picture the fear she had in her eyes. I let her sit back down and we stayed in silence until I sat up. I take her hand in mine and mess with her rings. Just holding her hands put my mind at ease. Being next to her clears the madness in my mind.

“You were standing there,” I begin, swallowing the lump in my throat, “ you looked beautiful as always but you, he, there was a knife.” her hands tighten on mine as my wife listens to me with the same meticulous precious we have when carving a body.  My own grip tightness in response before i continued. “ i could see the fear in your eyes and i couldn't do anything. It was like I had a knife against me as well. I couldn't save you. Audrey rose, I have nearly lost you so many times and each time is a reminder I will never be enough for you.”

It is a truth I was too afraid to admit. It always seemed that I could not ever save her, that she was always in danger and I could do nothing.

“Thomas, only i can decide who is good enough for me ,and you are more than i deserve.” she tells me quietly, her mind most likely combing through everything we've been through. “You are the kindest, most caring person i have ever met. You are intelligent, observant  and completely adorable. I mean you named our cate Issac newton.”

“Sir, Isaac Mewton.'' I correct her and she laughs lightly. Her laugh is the most enjoyable sound. It is why I say so many witty remarks.

“Exactly. We have both come a long way from our first encounter in uncle's laboratory, and I wouldn't have it any other way Cresswell.” she finishes by pressing a kiss to my cheek and my breathing stops for an entirely different reason.

“You forgot to mention my devilish features or my charm”

“No I didn't, your vanity beat me to it.”

“It is my best feature so it should've been first on your list.”

“your messy hair is and don't even try and deny it.”

“Hmmmm, very well. I hope your dream was more pleasant than mine.” i always wish she is never upset. awake or asleep, but i am too afraid to close my eyes again. Her brows furrowed as she inspects me then she rests her head on my shoulder, completely understanding my silent plea. 

“Yes, I dreamt of you, of us. Of the children we might have one day. Our son would have your cheekbones and hair and-”

“And they would all have your bright emerald eyes that are full of curiosity.” 

“They have your intelligence and charm. Your artistic ability.”

“Your bravery, scheming and determination.”

“they'll be perfect.” she whispers to me. We have discussed children before but we both agreed that neither of us are ready to settle down. Yet I would give up everything in a heartbeat if she was ready to bless me with a child. It would mean slowing our lives down, less chasing killers and solving murders. I would become unbearable as I try to ensure both the baby and Audrey Rose were happy and healthy. My worries lie in the strength of her leg and how much pain it will cause when she is heavily pregnant.

“One day, my love, we will grace the earth with the combination of us.” I plant a kiss atop of her head and smile. My love for my wife is still growing.

“May the gods give uncle strength to deal with the three of us.”

@fangirling-again @goatahoan @bilkul-sharam-nahi-aati@yafa-towers @city-of-fae @tillyrubes10

[deans-mind-palace]

Hot as hell heaven

Pairing: Misha Collins x Reader

Summary: Filming can be quite dangerous sometimes. Good thing you have your personal doctor.

Word Count: 1,248

Warnings: Blood, sarcasm and fluff

Author’s Note: This is based on the request by @mimzy1994 This is for the requests! Maybe something involving an angel blade with the reader? Like the reader hurts themselves with the real or fake one with Misha or Castiel it would be fun to see how either one will react! You choose! Have fun.

"Cas! Throw it to me!" You tried to dodge the demon that cornered you while Cas was pulling a demon off Dean's back.

"I can't! When it hits you, I --" He left the unspeakable unspoken, but you could see the worry in his eyes.

"Come on, Cas, it's now or never!" Sam's voice was in your ear as he sent the next demon back to hell. Castiel threw one last helpless look out of his baby blue eyes in which you sank as the angel blade left his hand and soared through the air. You reached out to catch it and dodged the demon, but your eyes remained trapped in Cas' endless blue sky.

"Ah, fuck! Fuck, that's sharp!" The angel blade fell from your hand clattering on the ground, a few drops of your blood followed.

"Cut!" shouted the director. Instantly, the crew grumbled. Lights were repositioned, cameras turned away and the tension disappeared from the shoulders of the actors. Misha immediately made his way through the extras to you. The spotlights cast a long shadow behind Misha that looked like ink running from his heels. The angel blade was still on the ground and your blood was slowly and thickly dripping from the wound in the palm of your hand.

With a few steps Misha had overcome the distance between you. His eyes took on a guilty expression and a shadow flitted across the endless blue. But he immediately tried to loosen the tension.

"I told you it was dangerous when I threw it." He winked cheekily at you and shrugged his shoulders. You gave him a murderous look.

"It hurts," you grumbled, but you couldn't stop the smile on your lips. Misha knelt on the floor at the height of your hand. Gently, he took your hand in his and turned it into the light to examine the cut more closely. The blood sparkled darkly in the light of the set.

"Just a small cut." Misha murmured. His fingers were warm and soft on your hand.

"Well, it still hurts." When the brown-haired man looked up at you, his eyes glowed in the light. The intensity took your breath away, and you threatened to drown in them.

Suddenly he closed his fingers around your wrist and held his other palm over your wound. He closed his eyes and pretended to concentrate. With your eyebrows raised, you gave him a mocking look as he opened one eye again and peered up at you.

"What the hell are you doing, Misha?" You asked your co-star laughing. His face took on a playfully serious expression as he closed his eyes again.

"Sssh. I am an angel of the Lord. I must unite my heavenly powers to heal your wound." You burst out laughing and soon the seriousness disappeared from Misha's features and a grin adorned his lips.

"You're unbelievable, Misha," you said, shaking your head and swatting his shoulder with your uninjured hand.

He threw a sexy grin at you that made your knees go weak.

"I've been told so a lot." You suddenly got very warm and red shot up your cheeks.

"Oh, shut up!" you retorted, but your voice didn't sound as confident as it did a few seconds earlier.

"For God's sake! Get yourself a room, guys!" shouted Jensen across the set, his lips curling into a cheeky grin. Jared snorted and shook his head with laughter.

"Fuck off, Jensen!" Misha called back and held out his middle finger to Jensen. The blond broke out in laughter and turned back to Jared and some people from the extras.

Misha got up from the floor again and wiped the dirt off his jeans.

"Come on. Let's get that wound bandaged. Can you walk?" Misha asked. You snorted.

"I hurt my hand, Collins. Not my feet or my cerebral motor center."

"I'll take that as a yes?"

"Yes." Although you rolled your eyes, a little smile spread to your lips.

"There! I saw it."

"What?

"That smile."

"You imagined it."

"Ah ah. I don't think so."

Misha guided you through the chaos of cameras, lights, assistants and wires until you finally reached Misha's trailer. He immediately opened the door for you and directed you to his bed where he told you to sit. Then he disappeared and came back with a first aid kit right after that. He quickly spread all the utensils on the bed next to you and turned on the lamp at the bedside table.

"I will have to dab the wound first and then clean it," Misha explained his procedure while he skilfully cleaned your wound of blood. Then your co-star poured some disinfectant on a piece of cotton wool and pressed it on the wound. The air escaped hissing between your teeth. The disinfectant ate deep into your wound.

"It stings like hell." You pressed.

"You have been very brave. You're almost there." Misha murmured. Soon the sting subsided and you looked at the back of Misha's head as he treated you expertly. His brown hair shone in the light and looked incredibly soft. You had to hold on to yourself so that you wouldn't just stroke through his brown strands with your healthy hand.

"There." he said, wrapping your hand in white bandages. Suddenly he bent down and placed a feathery kiss on the spot of the bandage where your wound was underneath. His gentleness made you forget how to breathe for a short moment.

"All better now?" You simply nodded because you were unable to from any words. He shoot you a smile, which made your heart flutter. It was a smile from Misha, whose privilege was limited to a handful of people. It was honest, warm and a little shy. Hard to imagine with a self-confident person like Misha, but that only made it more beautiful. Every time he smiled at you, you realized why the public did not get to see it. If you got dizzy, the fangirls would faint in rows.

Misha was still kneeling before you, watching you. You had been lost in thought again and had worn that dreamy smile where he always wondered who or what you were thinking about. It always made him a bit jealous, because he wished to be the reason for that smile. Even though he would never tell you that.

"Thanks, Misha." You mumbled. His eyes had captured you and you couldn't tear yourself away from the sight. Misha just nodded, his eyes not leaving yours. Then he stood up and at half height you were suddenly very close. His breath brushed gently over your skin and your breath hitched as his eyes wandered to your lips. You could see the faint freckles on his tanned skin, that's how close you were in that moment. You swallowed and your heart beat faster.

Slowly Misha came closer and stayed just in front of your lips to let you make the decision. When you did not retreat, he closed your lips gently with his. A small firework exploded inside you and after you finished the kiss, Misha leaned his forehead breathlessly against yours.

"You're welcome."

Tags:

@zizzlekwum @rintheemolion @shypickleghostsuitcase @intoomuchfandoms @angeltardisbow @ayamenimthiriel @mimzy1994 @assbuttyourlife @vicmc624 @everyobsession9023 @tokiohearts483 @fortheentries @aberrant-annie @lust-for-pan @thewintersoldierswife @transparentfestivaltiger @jo-winchester15

[spnfanficpond]

May 2020 Angel Fish Awards

(New Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle @mrswhozeewhatsis or Mana @manawhaat to check and make sure we got your submission.

Be sure to read through this whole post as people who were nominated more than once only had one tag activated for tumblr tagging purposes!

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE MAY’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @focusonspn

A Night on the Town (oneshot) by @supernatural-jackles

I completely love this fic!! Jensen is a total sweetheart, it’s really easy to read and all those words felt like only five minutes. This is everything a Jensen!girl could’ve asked for!!

Hunger (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

HOLY. MOTHER. OF. HOTNESS. It was a fucking pleasure for my eyes to read every single word of this fic!! hot as hell, dark, Demon!Dean and in character as always.

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis 

Handkerchief (oneshot) by @babypieandwhiskey

I don’t usually read RPF, but this is an AU, so I dove in. Mechanic!Jensen with a magical supply of handkerchiefs, ready and willing to clean up whatever mess I find myself in? SOLD. Sweet, appeals to my love of Jensen’s back-pocket bandannas, and it activates my competence kink! Excuse me while I go wibble in the corner.

Nominated by @supernatural-jackles

Still The One (oneshot) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

I have a lot of respect for the way Michelle writes such difficult topics. She approaches them with such grace and accuracy, that makes it all the more realistic. This series is no exception. I deeply enjoy this series and the way things are playing out between Dean and the reader. It’s an extremely heartbreaking story that most of us don’t really think about until it’s put into this kind of perspective. This one is still ongoing, and I’m extremely excited to see how she handles the rest of the story. I highly recommend checking this one out. Just heed the warnings beforehand.

Nominated by @peridottea91

Healthy Competition (Series) by @kittenofdoomage

This! Omg this series! I love it so much!! It’s slower moving but keeps you itching for the next chapter and is oh so relatable. What woman hasn’t had body image issues? And what plus sized woman hasn’t had to deal with rude jerks and bullying? This fic is actually super realistic and hits all those relatable issues. Can’t wait to read the rest!!

Dangerous Signs (Series) by @kittenofdoomage

Ok, let me start by saying that I am a sucker for a good “character transported to alt. universe/world” fic. That said, I got soooooooooo addicted to this fic! It was so well written and you could just feel the reader’s hesitation and torn emotions. Should she stay? Should go? Ugh! Fantastic!! Also, kudos for the Norse mythology!! *chef’s kiss*

Nominated by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters

Cotton Candy (oneshot) by @ellewritesfix05

“It was always nice knowing [...] you could always find ways to bring light into Dean’s life.”

And he damn well deserves it! This was so sweet. No one can resist that “I didn’t do it” smile of his ;)

The Oath (Series) by @thecleverdame 

This series is definitely dark, but it’s so so good. If you’re okay with reading about the heavy subjects covered in these chapters, you won’t regret giving this series a try. I can’t seem to stop diving into all of this author’s content. She’s just too good.

Choices (CYOE) by @talesmaniac89 

I’ve been excited about this impressive project since I first saw the announcement post. Though I’m ashamed to say I haven’t gotten into reading the full thing yet, I plan on making time for reading ALL the different endings. I’m excited to see the different ways in which the story plays out, depending on the brothers’ personalities. For now, I’m recommending this first chapter, the starting point, which was already a beauty of its own. If you haven’t started yet yourself, prepare to be amazed.

Not Safe (Oneshot) by @torn-and-frayed

I love this. Spicy but sweet… Is that a cringy enough way for me to try and put my thoughts into words? I also just really miss Bobby, man.

nominated by @impala-dreamer

Safe Here (series) by @because-imma-lady-assface

This is one of the greatest Dean series. Ashley writes Dean amazingly well, too well sometimes, and this series gives him exactly what he needs; a place to feel safe and find comfort. I love this one so much!

Losing You (series) by @idreamofhazel

This is a superbly done Sam series that has stuck with me for a long time. I literally can’t go into Bed, Bath & Beyond without thinking about the ending <3

nominated by @kittenofdoomage

Blind Luck (oneshot) by @crispychrissy

A great Sam x reader that hits the holy trifecta of smut, fluff, and angst.

 Blood And Water (series) by @crashdevlin

Pretty sure I’ve recc’d this before but it’s such a good series, so twisted and angsty, my dark little heart loves it. Heed the warnings!

Just Sam (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence

This might not be everyone’s cup of tea but for me, it’s perfection, because I am a kinky bitch and any other kinky bitches out there would definitely enjoy this XD

nominated by @deanwanddamons

Private Party With A Rockstar (oneshot) by @mummybear

@mummybear Has been working her butt off this month for her RolePlay May. She wrote this story for me and put me in it (my name is Sian). Rockstar!Jensen is one of my weakness’s, and she knows that, and clearly knows me very well too, as included everything I like 😉

She’s Not You by @winchest09

@winchest09 is one of my fave authors. This is a super cute, super fluffy fic which really cheered me up.

Dangerous Signs (Series) by @kittenofdoomage

I LOVED this series. it was so good and lots of fun with some very sexy going’s on. Rhi’s work is just fantastic 💕

Wedding Bells (oneshot) by @katehuntington

This one shot is super cute and fluffy! I love her writing so much and this is not exception 💕 

Not Much Left (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

Demon!Dean is another of my weakness’s and fic really hit the spot 🥵🔥

Dear Dean (series) by @smol-and-grumpy

This series made me laugh, made me cry, made me horny and made me gasp. One of the best series I have read 💕

nominated by @emilyshurley

Jensen’s Self Care Routine (oneshot) - @luci-in-trenchcoats

It is just adorable. People taking care of themselves for their loved ones. You can’t get more fluffy.

The Proposal (series) - @katymacsupernatural (Ongoing)

If you love fake dating fics, you’ll definitely love this one. Really like the character of “the reader”.

Private Party with a Rockstar (oneshot) - @mummybear

This one is both hot and adorable at the same time

You shook me (oneshot) @myinconnelly1

It’s Myin writing Demon!Dean what more do you want? No seriously that’s the perfect combination

Dancing the Spiral (oneshot) by @myinconnelly1

One of the only times I genuinely felt like a fic was creepy in a good way. And the passing of the whole thing is great. Am I little biased because its Myin, yes but that doesn’t make the fic any less good. sure it’s on the longer side but definitely worth it.

The only exception (series) - @ne-gans and @negans-lucille-tblr

I have only read the first part so far but I had to mention it. It is a serial killer AU so read the trigger warnings just in case.

Make it Big (series)- @negans-lucille-tblr

Again I’m still catching up It’s one of those fics I thought I won’t like reading but was really glad that I started.

Cast no Shadow (series) @kittenofdoomage

It’s Rhi, I can fangirl a lot about her fics. Really enjoyed (?) (that might not be the right word) the whole fitting a new relationship in existing ones. Felt to real in a weird way. It might seem like I don’t like the fic because of how I’m wording this but that’s really not the case.

Nominated by @deanwinchesterswitch

Sunshine (oneshot) by @talesmaniac89

If you like angst, this is the fic for you. It is utterly captivating and heart wrenching. It’s a cut your heart out with a dull centuries-old wooden spoon style hurt. The use of the song lines in this fic is well thought out and poetic. Make sure to have a box of tissues handy. If you don’t at least tear up while reading this, then you don’t have a heart to cut out, and your soul is already in hell.

Choices (CYOE) by @talesmaniac89

A clever interactive series where you get to choose your favorite Winchester, and the ending of the story. This is so detailed and intriguing. I loved the story I ended up with the first time, and excitedly went back in to pick the other options. Each story was unique and well written. 

Babe I’m Gonna Leave You (oneshot) by @waywardbaby

This one shot is an absolutely stunning piece of smut. The lack of dialogue makes it that much better. All you’re left with is the option to feel the detailed emotions—sexual tension to the max.

No Words (oneshot) by @because-imma-lady-assface​

Beautiful, detailed, and heartbreaking. Dean’s pain and need for comfort are palpable, and I cried while reading it. I can’t find the proper words to describe how this fic made me feel, but man did it ever make me feel.

Sky Full of Stars (oneshot) by @smol-and-grumpy​​

This is the sequel to Something Just Like This and is just as exciting as the first series. A roller coaster of suspense. The characters continue on their journey of love, dealing with the good and bad that comes with every relationship—the perfect combination of angst and fluff with a healthy dose of smut.

Something Just Like This (oneshot) by @smol-and-grumpy

A perfect combination of big badass Dean and soft, fluffy Dean, along with all the incredible smut your little heart could desire. I usually don’t like to read a series until it is complete, because I am impatient and don’t want to wait for the next chapter to post. However, this story was intriguing and sexy, and I couldn’t keep from reading each chapter as soon as it posted and then eagerly anticipating the next.

Nominated by anon

Request 42 (oneshot) by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters

This was super-duper cute!! I love frustrated soon to be parents especially when one of those parents is Dean! Great work, well worth the read!

Just A Daydream (onesho) by @maddiepants

This fic is refreshing with its canon-ness! I love Sam's little dream, and you get so wrapped up in it, you forget. Absolutely masterful and HOT AS HELL! Also, Tall People, WTF? 

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

These are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

[sargentr]

so i reread the dream thieves a while back and i wrote down some stuff i hadn’t really noticed/paid that much attention to. some of them are mere observations others are just me. Fangirling. as one does:

* ronan's first love was his family

* adam tried his best to make things work with blue, just like everything else he had tried in his life

* gansey is very well aware of his privilege and wealth 

* ronan has two weaknesses: niall lynch and adam parrish

* noah was there for ronan is ways not even ronan realized

* when ronan was filled with anger for a reason i cant remember, he relaxed a bit when gansey, beside him, answered his phone and said "hey" into it, meaning it was adam. (this is from ronans pov) like!!! theyre so comfortable around each other can i leave

* adam was so furious at gansey for thinking he had made the st agnes bill easier for him that he didnt realize that it had ronan written all over it

* gansey was such a light hearted and carefree person that there was not a single person in aglionby who did not know who he was. it is described that while others tried to fit in aglionby, aglionby fit perfectly in gansey. he was the type of person who the teachers would hold for a second after class to show him the article they thought he might like. HE’S BABY.

* gansey and ronan's relationship was not based on communication.

* adam always thought how beautiful all of gansey's things were.

* ronan lynch was one of those things

* gansey often reminded himself how niall lynch's death affected ronan

* ronan would rather die than kill adam

* the image of ronan trying (and lying) to take his life was scarred into gansey like ink

* gansey and ronan fought a night creature and fit perfectly as a team (gansey's pov)

* clue number two of non heterosexual ronan niall lynch: "(blue) wore a dress ronan thought looked like a lampshade. whatever sort of lamp it belonged on, gansey clearly wished he had one. ronan wasn't a fan of lamps."

* ronan lynch is completely and utterly himself the first time he steps foot in the barns

* RONAN REFERRING TO ADAM AS EINSTEIN

* ronan has no chill whatsoever omg when they're in the barns and checking to see if the animals are still alive blue asks ronan to check some of them and he replies to her and adam "you two poverty twins do it"

* confirmed: ronan lynch is a complete cupcake (eg: pressing the small mouse to his cheek to check the heartbeat)

* confirmed: richard gansey is a bigger cupcake for smiling ear to ear while doing the same

* !!!! "and it was his smile that buried ronan"!!!! (referring to gansey and the mouse)

* "... adam replied, his henrietta accent sneaking out, betraying his fatigue. it was something deeper." (ronan's pov)

* second confirm: ronan lynch is a Softie™ (eg: when they were about to leave the barns but ronan whispered so just gansey heard "can i go and see mom?" HE IS ALSO BABY

* OKAY BUT GANSEY AND RONAN THIS ENTIRE BOOK: "i remember when you used to smell like this" referring to when they enter the main house at the barns.

* "ronan loved it so much. he nearly couldn't bare it. he wanted to destroy something." (((this is about the barns. protect this sunshine)))

* when blue saw a picture of a bird in the barns and asked, "are these vultures or crows?" and adam and ronan replied at the same time, "vultures" "crows" NERDS

* "i am being perfectly fucking civil" still to this day, the best thing ronan lynch has ever said.

* "ronan looked at gansey. that look, blue thought. ronan lynch would do anything for gansey" claps slowly

* BONUS: "i probably would, too." thought blue

* matthew lynch was the only thing that made ronan come back himself

* niall left ronan (and only ronan) his entire property

* gansey shops when he's sad

* gansey and adam sharing a LOOK when orla comes in with skin showing

* blue had very few skin showing and gansey wanted to tell he how much he liked hers and not orlas, but then thinking "that's adam's job" what a bean

* how extra can ronan lynch get (a series): making a complete SCENE while opening his car door, sitting inside, closing the door, driving away

* gansey protesting so blue wouldnt go inside the water (bc baby boy probably couldnt handle blue seminaked) and using "you wont be able to see without your eyes getting irritated" as a point

* gansey getting all flustered and reminding himself he'd been looking at orla's naked body for so long but also: HER BIKINI IS SO ORANGE

* clue number two of non heterosexual ronan niall lynch: laughing his ass off about ganseys reaction of orla and said orange bikini

* jealous little blue being furious at gansey for just looking at her

* ronan's pulse fastening when thinking about kavinsky

* ronan smiling to himself and only doing so because there was no one to see it

* noah and blue holding hands at monmouth when gansey and ronan arent there okay look at those two

* "sometimes i pretend im him" "which part?" "alive" PROTECT NOAH CZERNY

* when blue was laying on ganseys bed she though "i have a crush on richard gansey" and the following "i dont have a crush on adam parrish"

* okay but the whole kissing scene is adorably cute and the best part of tdt

* BLUE THINKING "oh, this is what i can't have"

* MATTHEW AND RONAN VISITING THE BARNS AND BOTH OF THEM JUST BEING ADORABLE WITH AURORA AND EACH OTHER

* ronan racing kavinsky and having so many mixed feelings

* adam feeling misplaced in DC and constantly thinking of this fathers abuse and I Cried

* adam and gansey fighting and uhhh sorry dick but DAMN adam

* ronan dreaming he's in kavinskys car and not knowing if he loved it or hated it

* blue's voice over the phone taking gansey's mind off the fight he had with adam

* gansey listing the things ronan is inside his mind so he would be angry at him

* "ronan had charm. it was just buried deep. very deep."

* blue fucking sargent being the badass feminist she is when it didnt occur to adam that maybe blue was into politics

* "you wouldnt have gone someplace without gansey. you two make a grand couple. kiss him!" blue giving zero fucks to adam being douchely sexist

* okay first fuck you adam idiot parrish: "nice blue, gansey was right. you are a raging feminist" FUCK YOU

* okay adam losing his temper and literally thinking of hitting blue this is a matter of EMERGENCY

* ADAM STOP BEING A DICK OH MY GOD HE ALMOST FORCED BLUE INTO KISSING HIM THIS ISNDHDJDHDHD

* like ok i get Mans had a rough past n that violence is the only thing he knows but stief what was ur POINT with this part

* adams enemy being his anger. someone protect him from himself

* when blue and gansey are talking in the pig about adam and ganseys just full of hatred towards adam's parents, "who has he ever had to love him? ever?"

* okay but richard campbell gansey the third is a complete and utter SUNSHINE: when he's overwhelmed by blue and gets out of the pig and starts pacing and then realizing it was rudeish and APOLOGIZING like a fucking KING

* lmao gansey saying "i think he should come to terms with his sexuality" at kavinsky gift to ronan.

* "he wondered if kavinsky was gay. he wondered if she should go to the fourth of july party. he wondered where adam had gone" someone just. keep ronan close and hydrated and healthy and LET HIM BE GAY AND REST

* okay but ronan thinks about kavinsky in a matter that is completely and utterly non platonic

* "the grey man gently threw ronan across the breakfast table" nice maggie

* prepare for dialogue:

"theres nothing here k."

"theres only us. i know what you are"

"thats not enough"

"dont say dick gansey man. hes never gonna be with you. and dont tell me you dont swing that way. im in your head"

"thats not what gansey is to me"

"you didnt say you didnt swing that way"

RONAN SAID, "no, i didnt" ..... gay bitch

* ronan calling adam "adam" when he thinks they're in a dream and just then realizing he isnt

* "i know it was you. the rent, i figured it out" adam parrish just slipping information at the WRONG time

* "he was a brother to a liar and a bother to an angel, son of a dream and son of a dreamer" still to this day the prettiest thing ever

* HIS SECOND SECRET WAS ADAM PARRISH

* "adam furrowed his brows to ronan, as if sensing ronan's eyes on him. ronan looked away"

* im shook this book is so good

[amrita-gsk]

Which ship do you dislike more ichihime or renruki?

Hmmm, I wanted to say both but if I were to be honest, it would be Ichi/Hime. I know it sounds kind of obvious because hello, I’m super duper ultra pro-IchiRuki, but more than that, it’s because to me Ichi/Hime is not a healthy type of relationship. Back when the Arrancar/Hueco Mundo arcs were coming out I remember feeling that it had the potential to be a great ship, but I always thought that its biggest flaw was how much it stunted Ori/hime’s self-growth and how she was set back on what little progress she did in favor of staying as Ichi/go’s pretty, naïve, lovestruck fangirl, whilst Ichi/go was pretty much disconnected and absent from the relationship itself, as if he wasn’t even part of it to begin with. 

Furthermore, during the culmination of the HM arc, in The Lust chapters we got to see the full extent of the toxicity that permeated their relationship. We got a desperate Ori/hime clinging to the need to rely on a dead Ichigo who in turn got himself killed on the excuse of saving her to feed his own desire for battle and his compulsive need of being a protector. She could’ve healed him as she had done before, Ulquiorra had already previously pierced a hole through his heart and she had managed just fine then. Yes, the second time it was a bigger hole, but both times THERE WAS A HOLE IN HIS HEART. Big or little, it was the same: he was dead. So it shouldn’t have made a difference to her. But she was too shocked by the fact that he had failed in defeating Ulquiorra, that by leading him there to rescue her she had somehow gotten him killed twice, that she DIDN’T WANT TO bring him back. She subconsciously decided that it was better to have him dead than seeing him fight and get wounded than worry and suffer for him. So she begged for him to help her because she didn’t want to be responsible for his pain, because she couldn’t handle it, because she couldn’t handle her own and needed, wanted him to do it for her.

He had already done that for Ru/kia. He had already come out victorious from impossible fights and he had chased away the shadows from Ru/kia’s heart. From getting her to reconcile with her brother, to helping her feel like she had a place of her own in SS as well as in his home, to make her see she was worth fighting and surviving for, he had done it all.

He was a hero, a protector, a man who in her eyes could save her even from herself but he had failed. So she needed him to get up by himself, because she didn’t know how to stand up for herself. Because if that happened and he got hurt or killed again, then it wouldn’t be her fault. She needed him to make everything right or make everything worse, but make it so it wouldn’t be her fault. And so she begged him to help her, even though he was the one that needed help the most.

As for Ichi/go, while he did worry about her as a friend his resolution to save her wasn’t always clear. Yes, he left for Hueco Mundo saying he’d rescue her, but he rarely showed any desperation or hastiness to get to her and got sidetracked by the fights and his own inner turmoil at his hollow getting stronger due to Hueco Mundo’s environment. He even tried to walk away from his mission to make sure Ru/kia was alright and I’m not mentioning this to highlight her importance to him in comparison, but back during the SS arc even when he got separated from all his friends and didn’t know where they were or even if they were alive, he simply kept going forward towards his one and only goal: save Ru/kia. So I expected him to do just that during the HM arc and trust in his companions as Ren/ji urged him to before they split up and whatever happened along the way, to accomplish the mission they were all there for: getting to Ori/hime. But he didn’t. And even when he got to her or rather, Grimm/jow brought her to him, he boldly declared that aside from rescuing her he was partly there to have his rematch with him.

Then when she got snatched by Ulqui/orra again, Ishi/da was already there and instead of doing the smart thing and go at it 2v1 to assure their victory and safely get away from Hueco Mundo, he just passes her to him and goes after Ulqui/orra by himself when he had already lost to him on more than one occasion and by quite a great difference in ability and power. It was a prideful thing to do, ushered on by his own bruised ego, wanting to prove that he was the stronger fighter, the protector. But there was nothing left to protect, Ulqui/orra had fulfilled his purpose and had no personal interest on killing Ori/hime, and he, like Ichi/go, only wanted to fight the other to prove dominance over the other. They both forgot about her right then and there and gave into feeding their more animalistic side.

Then Ichi/go unsurprisingly loses, gets a hole pierced in the middle of his chest AGAIN and then rises up as a Vasto Lorde himself with one goal in mind: to protect. But he doesn’t know what is it he has to protect or where they are. He only knows Ulquio/rra is the evil, he’s the danger and he has to eliminate it at any cost. So he fights him with no regards to his surroundings, completely ignoring his friends’ presence and even getting them caught up in the wake of his destruction. When Ishi/da tries to stop him he doesn’t even recognize him and even goes so far as to stab him for getting in his way. The Ichi/go we got over the dome of Las Noches was swallowed whole by his most basic instincts and his darker desires, turning into what he feared the most: a monster. When his transformation comes undone and he snaps out of it he’s horrified at what he has done to Ulquio/rra, his enemy. He became the evil he tried so hard to fight.

And so he runs away, despite them still being in enemy territory he tries to get away from his friends who were witnesses of his failure, he tries to run away from his own shame almost as if trying to run away from himself. What’s worse is he never really addresses it later, he just simply keeps on fighting up until his confrontation with Aizen and then goes and loses his powers, and that’s it.

They both came out traumatized from it and I really hoped that during those 17 powerless months they would’ve talked about it and maybe solved it, but then we are told that Ichi/go turned back to his old, closed off self and that Ori/hime kept training to protect him better next time, to not be a burden anymore, but she never tries to work things out with him which in a way leaves them a little estranged. Then she gets used in his training to give him “a reason to fight for” and she’s completely comfortable with the damsel in distress role because it feeds her idea that if she’s weak then he can be strong, and being strong makes “Kurosaki-kun” happy, so she doesn’t refuse. She can’t refuse. This is what she’s been missing all those months and she’s been breaking her head so much trying to come up with a way to cheer him up but always ending empty handed that she simply accepts that this is it, however shady it is, no matter how questionable Ginjou’s methods are.

Right before starting the training she also swears she won’t let him be hurt again or that she’ll heal her wounds no matter how bad they are. And then she gets turned against him. What really bugged me about this is that later on Bya/kuya gets cut by Tsukishima too and even though he inserts himself on his memories, Bya/kuya still stands by Ichi/go despite supposedly not being as close to him as Chad or Ori/hime. This hit me hard, because in a way it meant that despite being presented as his best friend, Chad no longer trusts Ichi/go enough to just take him at his word and doubts him, whilst Ori/hime doesn’t follow through on her promise and fails to protect him (most importantly, his heart) and doesn’t believe in him enough either to side with him despite her brainwash. Chad aside, this goes to show just how little trust there is between the two of them and in terms of a romantic relationship, in my own experience and opinion, trust should be the very foundation of it and at that point in the story, it’s nowhere to be found.

Fastforward to the last arc and even though Ichi/go trusts her enough to take her with him to confront Ywach, she’s still afraid of him and his hollow powers. SEVENTEEN WHOLE MONTHS LATER and whatever time passed in between up to that moment and SHE STILL FEARS HIM. This meant they never talked about it, he never tried to know how she felt after HM, she never tried to soothe his heart about it, she never got over it by herself and overall their friendship ended up feeling so superficial and tense it was actually painful to watch. By the end I felt that there wasn’t enough trust between them nor real affection because Ori/hime’s attraction over him never seemed to evolve from infatuation to real, understanding and accepting love, and even though Ichi/go did have a piece of mind to think “hey, I’m gonna show her I’m not a monster anymore” he basically ignored her for almost a year and a half when what they should have done was work out all the emotional baggage and scars they got from HM Ishida and Chad included ‘cause it wasn’t a walk in the park for them either, maybe help each other get over it, strengthen their bond, get to REALLY KNOW each other and just… I don’t know? Have some growth? Be supportive of each other?

To me, their relationship was always toxic because they both fed the wrong needs of the other as I pointed out above and never really resolved it. It just stayed that way and got sugarcoated along the way. 

Now, I know this is long enough by now so I’ll keep the Ren/Ruki part short. While I don’t like it because I truly can’t see Ru/kia with anyone else but Ichi/go unless it was Kai/en and even then I’d have a few wrinkles to straighten out here and there, I mostly reject it due to Ren/ji’s inconsistence as a character.

Back when he was first introduced he didn’t have an issue in hunting down Ru/kia like an animal, even going so far as to slashing her with his sword, violently pining her against a light pole and strangling her to keep her in place… and then during the Fullbring arc he refuses to fight Jackie; a willing, aggressive enemy because “he would be trash if he hit a woman”. Like, I get that Kubo hadn’t really thought out his character back when he first appeared but… yeah sure, let’s just forget how he manhandled Ru/kia and let’s marry them!!! And everyone lived happily ever after… as if! In real life I have never forgiven a man that has been unrespectful to me, much less those that have tried to hit me, tried being the operative word because I’ve never allowed it but I’d be crazy to consider it as passing moments of rage and that they “would never do it again”. I do know that manga is fiction and like I said, his character wasn’t well established then so I know that he would never ever raise a hand against Rukia again, but it’s still hard for me to let it go.

Now, as for Ru/kia’s side I can’t bring myself to accept RR because it’s just so… boring. Choosing Ren/ji is the safe choice, it’s like going through with a “if we’re not married by the time we’re 40 let’s marry each other” promise and that’s honestly sad. Don’t get me wrong, I did get the impression that she had feelings for him before getting adopted by Bya/kuya, but I also felt all that went down the drain when he let her go. It was the right move, yes, and a selfless one too, but Ren/ji made a mistake by distancing himself from her believing he wasn’t good enough for her anymore. Sure, she got into a noble family and whatnot but they both came from the same place, they both rose out of nothing, they both lived through horrible things and survived even the death of their makeshift family and then he decided for her that he wasn’t her equal. He didn’t ask her, he didn’t give her a chance and he didn’t bother to find out what she thought or felt. He was so caught up in his own low self-esteem that he failed to see beyond himself and abandoned her. Then she met Kai/en. Kai/en who was not only her superior and mentor but her friend, whom didn’t care where she came from or who she was or what she wasn’t, he treated her like a real person with real feelings and supported her and stood by her when no one else did. He was with her through her failure and misery and he was also there during her success and joy. Kai/en was there and I always felt that she had feelings for him but never dared to act on them because well duh, he was married, she actually looked up to his wife and she respected him enough to not put him in an awkward position, coupled with her own self-esteem issues. So Kai/en was there, but he wasn’t an option.

And during all of that time Ren/ji didn’t even look for her. Didn’t try to talk to her. Nothing. He just hoped she’d stay still forever waiting for him to get his shit together but didn’t make an effort to close the gap that he himself created. Then she met Ichi/go and in such a short time they became very good friends, then he went and basically turned SS upside down just to save her and her smile from a freaking giant bird in flames and the most corrupt political government in history, and got her brother to apologize and stop being a dick to her, got Ren/ji himself to get his head out of his ass and talk to her again, got her to get over the trauma of getting the people she loved killed, made sure she knew she had a home with him back in earth and gave her the chance to have her own in SS, and allowed her to choose what was best for herself. That boy raised the bar so fucking high, that was husband material right there. I’m not even going to add what comes after that, only that he effectively became “the man in her heart” and one does not simply get better than that.

So yeah, RR it’s boring because you’re telling me she settled for the man that abandoned her for decades, letting her become isolated only to fall in love with another man whom she had to kill and even then Ren/ji didn’t even show up to check on her, only to later meet a guy who turned her world upside down, restored her faith in herself and made her want to go on living when she had already given up, making her know her feelings and wishes are important and that she was entitled to her own choices even if said choices weren’t in line with what he wanted from her? Seriously? Why would anyone settle for something inferior having already experienced something more fulfilling and greater? I just don’t buy it. 

Aaaaaand that’s a wrap. Sorry for the long answer I just couldn’t help myself, ugh ○|￣|＿

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

Amy Martinez (Character Sheet TV Tropes Style) U-Y

Uncanny Valley Girl: Has the appearance of a conventionally cute and upbeat school girl... who’s killed at least fifteen people to date, knows how to manipulate people and can display a callous, cheerfully psychotic side whenever she’s crossed. 

Undying Loyalty: To her Coven, as they took her in after her parent’s death when Hero Society felt unable to and despite the atrocities and horrors she’s witnessed she’s fiercely protective and devoted to her coven and even sets out back to Japan to connect both the world of Witches and Heroes together so her kind wouldn’t be ostracized or demonized anymore.

Unstoppable Rage: After the culture festival, she goes into one of these and beats her teachers and Midoriya when they attempt to stop her. She’s only stopped when Midoriya starts crying and when Shinsou gives her a sad look and gently talks her down, followed by Cordelia. 

Used To Be a Sweet Kid: Amy’s certainly still capable of being sweet, but she used to be a relatively stable, genuinely happy child who had yet to do anything horrible. In fact, the worst thing she did as a child was steal a bouncehouse so that way Shinsou could have one for his birthday party. In modern times, while she’s gradually improved and her sanity has strengthened, she’s still a troublemaker who performs much more lethal pranks and still participates in murder.

Violently Protective Girlfriend: She knows that Bakugo can take care of himself, but doesn’t stand for Madison taunting him, and beats the HELL out of two other witches who attack and threaten him.

Amy: Get the fuck away from my Katsuki you bitches! 

Vitriolic Best Buds: With Midoriya and Iida mostly. She and Midoriya’s relationship was strained for a time during their first year in UA but slowly started to patch up over the course and while Amy still likes to tease Midoriya, he holds no ill will towards her and they have managed to rebuild their friendship and Amy still adores him despite everything.

She and Iida bicker nearly every single day and Amy pranks him constantly and gives him a hard time every chance she gets, but Iida still cares about Amy and looks after her, and Amy secretly appreciates him, respects him and cares about him enough to adhere to him at times.

Weak But Skilled: Amy’s an EXTREMELY gifted witch and knows how to use her powers and spells very well, but isn’t the most physically powerful girl nor is she as skilled in combat as others are.

We Want Our Jerk Back: Inverted, Amy’s always been something of a jerk but was still a cheerful, supportive and comical friend to her class, but when she leaves the class notes that it didn’t feel right without her and missed her immature sense of humor.

Also shown in the Internship arc where Amy does briefly return to intern with Endeavor along with Midoriya, Bakugo and Todoroki, only she’s apathetic, bored and downright emotionless and the three boys each make at least one attempt to see if a glimpse of her old self is still in there. With Bakugo outright demanding her to crack a smile or at least laugh or giggle as she always used to in the time he’s known her. 

Weight Woe: Despite what she preaches about body positivity, Amy is actually very self-conscious about her weight which is why she wears considerably more conservative and modest clothing compared to her other female friends. Doesn’t help that she gains weight easily and can even fall into a depression when it becomes very apparent. 

What The Hell Hero?: Midoriya gives her one of these when she acts callously after she and Bakugo are rescued and later during the Culture Festival where Amy refuses to partake in their class dance out of spite towards him. Amy later starts to give herself these when she realizes that she’s gone too far, particularly in having the intent of seriously harming Midoriya during a fight she wins.

Why Did It Have To Be Snakes?: Amy doesn’t have much phobias, but she IS afraid of seagulls for some reason, calling them the ‘devil’. She’s also terrified of cockroaches, centipedes and holes. 

Wicked Witch: She at times acts like this, mostly just to troll her friends and scare them even though she DOES have some of the habits such as the evil cackle, penchant cats and wearing black and even lives in a mansion just outside the city.

Wife Basher-Basher: Amy doesn’t hesitate to threaten to personally murder and torture Endeavor if he ever raises a hand to Todoroki, his mother or any of his children again. 

Wild Card: Amy’s on neither the heroes side or the villains side, but she IS on her coven’s side which means she does as she pleases, shows no obligation to UA or Hero Society and is there primarily for Shinsou’s sake and for the sake of battling other people to show off her powers. This becomes subverted when she develops strong friendships with her classmates, falls in love with Bakugo and makes friends with her classmates, especially Ashlen.

Witch Hunt: Was the victim of one even in Japan as witch hunters broke into her house, destroyed her home, killed her dog, burnt her mother to the stake and lynched her father. She was nearly burnt to the stake herself only for the Pro-Heroes to save her, but because they weren’t willing to care for her with the risk of other witch hunters infiltrating their society as well, Amy was forced to move to America with other witches, but the hunt didn’t stop there as her godmother’s husband was a witch hunter who nearly killed her and her other sisters until they were all killed by the Axemen. Amy states that witch hunters still exist and while the war may never end, that she and her sisters fight back more.

Woman In Black: Just like her sisters, Amy loves to wear black and adorns an all-black Hero Costume.

Woman Scorned: After Amy confesses that she’s in love with Midoriya, he doesn’t think she’s being serious and instead scolds her for her lack of cooperation in the Culture Festival and overall fluctuating attitude. Which leads to a big argument but when he calls her selfish and cruel, Amy completely loses it and challenges him to a fight out of nowhere, in which she lashes out her anger at him by beating him and spewing her now negative feelings towards him as she wins the fight. She gets over this thank goodness but it’s still something she’s not proud of.

Whenever Bakugo breaks up with her, she’s aggressive and cold to him and on worse days she’ll attack him with her telekinesis.

Women Are Wiser: Generally averted as Amy’s actually the least mature girl in Class A, but can display common sense when it’s needed.

Woobie, Destroyer Of Worlds: Amy might be a crazy, spiteful and wicked girl, but was forced to abandoned her best and only friend, including said best friend’s family who loved her like a daughter, and she felt rejected by her own society when they gave her away to strangers, didn’t even bother to check on her even though these strangers ended up indirectly exposing her to even more horrors that further traumatized her the point where she suffered nightmares, bullying from eve other witches and has contemplated suicide. 

Would Hurt a Child: Implied but never shown. Amy notes that with children having superpowers now, that there’s not many lines to cross since their powers can be used to fight back and has no qualms roughing up younger kids should they piss her off. 

Inverted also, Amy has no problems killing adults, nor did she have any issue in beating the shit out of her own teacher. 

But also Averted. Despite Amy claiming that she will hit a child should they piss her off, she’s never actually done it. In fact, even when she disliked Eri, she did absolutely nothing to (physically) harm the girl because she said she’s “not a monster” and couldn’t do anything like that to her. 

However, she DOES hit a younger witch of 10 when she kicks her in the groin and Amy pays back the favor by punching her in the stomach. 

Yandere: She beats the tar out of Midoriya when he accidentally spurns her feelings for him, attacks Uraraka via telekinesis in a fit of jealousy, treats Eri coldly out of jealousy due to Aizawa offering her care and also beats the tar out of him too for not stepping in to take care of her when she lost her family.

In a moment much more Played For Laughs, she threatens and shouts at Bakugo for dumping her for the first time and says that she’ll murder him in his sleep before he thinks he can get away with it. However, Amy DOES relapse into insanity when she thinks that Bakugo doesn’t love her.

Yaoi Fangirl: It’s much less to do with the fetish and more to do with Amy being extremely passionate about gay rights as she squeals whenever she sees a healthy gay couple between two men and was more than happy to help John Henry Moore into getting out there to start dating men again.

Then there’s the fact that she’s written erotic fanfiction about her own friends (much like Tina Belcher) and reveals that she ships Bakugo and Todoroki, Bakugo and Kirishima, Kaminari and Bakugo, Kaminari and Sero, Tokoyami and Shouji, Tokoyami and Kouda, Shinsou and Tokoyami, Midoriya and Kirishima and Shinsou and Monoma and even Shinsou and Kaminari.

You Are Better Than You Think You Are: To her shame, Amy tends to be uplifted when people reassure her, especially from Shinsou, Ashlen and Cordelia. Shinsou often reassures her whenever she thinks she doesn’t belong in Hero Society, and Cordelia gladly tells her that despite what her society did to her, that the coven wouldn’t be complete without her and her sensitive heart. And then Ashlen comes into the picture and appears to love her for all her flaws, as she embraces her imperfections and tells her that she wouldn’t be her best friend if she weren’t the way she is. 

You Can’t Go Home Again: After her parents are killed by witch hunters who infiltrated Japan the pro-heroes were unwilling and unable to watch over and care the young witch, which urges Aizawa to call the coven from New Orleans. And when Cordelia, Fiona and Myrtle arrive to retrieve her and take her to Robichaux Academy, a safe haven in New Orleans, America for young witches such as herself to be her new home. However, they also tell her that she won’t be able to return to her former life in Japan and can’t stay in any contact with Shinsou and his family for not just Amy’s protection but for Shinsou’s protection as well.  Thankfully she IS able to return to Japan, but only as she got older and witches being outed to the world which encouraged Hero Society to be more accepting of witches.

You Got Spunk: She goes with Midoriya, Bakugo and Todoroki during the Winter internship with Endeavor and because Amy has no filter with the pro-hero, openly disrespects him to the point of threatening him, he is partially amused but impressed by how ballsy she is.

Endeavor: This brat has hellfire in her...

You Never Did That For Me: The minute Amy finds out about Eri’s existence, she’s initially sympathetic... until she hears that the pro-heroes are going to take care of her and that UA is going to adopt her and place her into a more caring environment with responsible adults and older kids who look after her. As it all sinks in, Amy realizes and calls them out for taking in a girl with unstable powers, but didn’t do the same thing for her at all even though she was also a girl with unstable powers, and that instead they gave her away to strangers who did a less than stellar job and her ‘guardians’ exposed her to even more trauma. This is what triggers her into attacking and injuring Midoriya and Aizawa, and then leaving UA for 2 whole months out of anger and hurt. 

You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry: No... you really wouldn’t. Amy even says this word for word at times, or just outright warning others to ‘get the fuck out’ or else she’ll ‘get angry’ and she normally lives up to her warnings as when truly angry, Amy’s powers cause things around her to break and the building to tremble if she’s really pissed off. 

Yuri Fangirl: Much like it’s stated above, Amy also grows very excited and happy when she sees a healthy lesbian couple and also likes to pair her friend Mallory with Coco due to their strong friendship. Amy also adores the Steven Universe cartoon because of the prevalent lesbian relationships in it, and was disappointed when she found out Yuri! On Ice didn’t have actual yuri.

[strayneoculturekids]

Regrets - I.N x Reader

Summary: It’s so easy to snap at people you love when nothing else in your life is going well, isn’t it? It really didn’t help that Jeongin was still so young; he hadn’t exactly gotten a full grasp on how to control all of his emotions

friends to lovers AU, childhood friends AU, Idol AU

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: arguments and stuff

Requested by anon (I hope this is ok~! Sorry it took so long,,,)

“I’ve been thinking really hard about something lately,” Jeongin said, turning to face you

“Hm?” You asked, meeting his eyes

“I...want to become a singer” his voice seemed shaky but determination was evident in his expression

You smiled at him, turning your full body to face your best friend and grabbing both his hands.

“I’m happy for you Innie, I support you all the way, okay?” You squeezed his hands in yours slightly

He nodded, returning your warm smile with his adorable one, eyes creasing from happiness. He knew it would be tough, trying to become an idol on top of balancing school work and still having a social life with you; like, really tough, but it gave him so much comfort to know you supported him. The look in your eyes told him that you really would be right by his side the entire time.

Jeongin and you had known each other since diapers, your parents being friends and all. For as long as either of you could remember, you two were inseparable, always supporting each other and being there for each other. So when Jeongin said he wanted to become an idol, of course, you stuck by him, supported him and encouraged him all the way to his trainee days and far past then.

He had never acted out or gotten mad at you, just like you to him. He’d always been the one to tell you to stay calm when you got frustrated or mad at someone else. There were times when he couldn’t handle everything he was going through, so he just...cried, always going to you for comfort. Which is why, when he did yell at you for the first time ever, you were surprised to say the very least. Shocked. You had never thought before that you could be afraid of your best friend with his adorable personality, but you’d soon find out just how wrong you were and just how scary Jeongin could be.

Months had gone by and I.N had become a JYP trainee, a company part of the big three, just like you knew he had the talent for. You helped him struggle through late nights, keep on track with school work, made sure he ate properly, you really just kept him sane.

You were sitting on your couch, staring off into the distance, dissociating. Eventually, you were knocked back to reality when you heard a knock at the door. Your parents had gone out for the night and you must admit, maybe you were a little bit scared that behind the door was a murderer. You hear a little “Y/N” from the outside. Immediately you relaxed when you recognized the voice, Jeongin. 

You opened the door to reveal your best friend, the biggest, most precious smile you’d ever seen planted on his face.

“I found out the members I’m debuting with!!” He said happily

Your eyes widened and soon enough, your smile mirrored his. You instantly engulfed him in a large hug, him immediately reacting and hugging you back. you two stayed like that a while, just squeezing each other, smiles never fading.

“I’m so, so proud of you” you whispered into his ear before retreating from the hug and dragging him inside

“Thank you so much for supporting me...” he said, gaze locked to the ground in a bashful manner

“Of course, what are friends for?”

“Yeah...friends...” Jeongin cringed when he heard that word, aware by now of his so obvious feelings towards you “Anyways, can you help me finish this homework?”

A few weeks passed by and Jeongin and his group members were set to be on a survival show; since JYP didn’t pick the members himself, he wanted to see their talents.

You watched every episode, getting to know the members and Jeongin’s new friends who you still had yet to meet in person. The show was up to episode four when I.N had his first breakdown. A bit before episode five was supposed to be released, he showed up at your doorstep, eyes red and puffy, cheeks stained with tears.

“...Minho got eliminated...” he said slowly, smiling bitterly as more tears streamed down his already soaked face

You covered your mouth with your hands, immediately pulling Jeongin inside, closing the door as you enveloped him in a tight hug. He froze up for a bit before beginning to cry in your shoulder. Jeongin dropped onto his knees which became too weak to support him. You followed, keeping him in your arms, rubbing his back, letting him sob his heart out.

A few more episodes passed and the fact that Minho had been eliminated had just begun to wash over. Then Felix got eliminated in episode 8. Jeongin didn’t show up before the episode was released, nor did he show up after the episode was released. You tried not to think of it, telling yourself he was probably just spending more time with his members, but deep down, you knew how much it worried you.

[You]: Innie? Are you ok? Is your group ok?

You sent him a simple text, just staring at the screen blankly for a couple of minutes, desperately hoping he’d answer. You saw the speech bubble pop up, indicating he was typing. Immediately, you perked up, staring expectantly at the screen. The speech bubble stayed there for what must’ve been five minutes, then disappeared. You waited another few minutes, despite knowing how much of a waste of time this could end up being, you were desperately hoping to get a text from him. It never came.

Monday came and Jeongin didn’t show up to school. You went through the entire day without seeing your best friend, and he wasn’t answering his texts. After what felt like years, the school day finally ended and you immediately called him the second you were dismissed.

“Hello?” a slightly unfamiliar voice called

“...Chan?” You asked, slightly recognizing the voice from the survival show

“You know me?”

“No...I know Jeongin. I just want to know how he’s doing after Felix got eliminated- how all of you are doing...but he’s not answering my texts.”

There was a long pause and you could hear movement on the other end of the phone before you heard the name “Jeongin” being softly called.

“...Hello?” he said

Relief flooded through your entire body when you heard the familiar voice of your best friend.

“Jeongin! Are you okay...?” you asked, softening your voice, trying to calm yourself from your initial excitement from hearing him for the first time in what seemed like forever

“Leave me alone,” he said simply, hanging up right after

You blinked, slowly dropping the phone from your ear. You purse your lips before continuing to walk, clenching your fist. You were hurt by the words, especially since it was so sudden, but right now, your best friends mental health came first and it didn’t seem particularly healthy right now.

You got home, greeting your parents, trying to hide your shaky voice as you went up to your room, immediately calling Jeongin once you made it there.

“Y/N...I’m sorry but...Jeongin is being stubborn right now...I don’t think he’ll talk to you but...from what I’ve heard about you from I.N before all of...this happened, I think he needs to talk to you” Chan’s voice rang through

“but-”

“Can you come to the dorms?”

“Yeah...I will,” you said, nodding

You immediately got off the phone, quickly throwing on the first thing you saw in your closet and walking out the door, telling your parents you were going to visit I.N- which was technically true.

Luckily, you’d gotten your license recently and your dad didn’t mind you taking out his car as long as you weren’t reckless. A couple minutes later and you were outside the dorm of I.N and his group mates. Slowly, you raised your hand, heart drumming in your chest. Taking a deep breath, preparing yourself to face I.N, you knocked. The door swung open, revealing a face you recognized to be Woojin.

“Are you Y/N?” he asked

“That’s me” you managed a weak smile

Immediately, he let you inside. Greetings and fangirling over meeting these incredible idols could wait till later, right now, what mattered most is making sure that everyone in the group was doing okay. It was a bit mean of you, but you cared most about I.N’s mental state right now; he is the youngest and can you really blame yourself? He’s been your best friend for who knows how long. Of course, you prioritize him.

Looking around the dorm, the atmosphere was incredibly dreary. You saw each member, Felix and Minho excluded, they all greeted you nicely, already having been told about you, but you could tell that deep down they felt like absolute shit. It was easy to see they all blamed themselves for what happened to Minho and Felix.

“Jeongin’s in that room. He’s a bit fragile right now though,” Woojin half-heartedly smiled “please, if he says anything that hurts you, know he doesn’t mean it,”

You thanked Woojin before carefully opening the door, seeing your best friends back curled up into a ball on the bed you assumed to be his, his unmoving body turned to the wall.

“Innie?” You said softly

His ears perked when he heard your voice, expecting it to be one of his members. He was surprised at first but it soon turned into anger.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone?” he spat, not even making it sound like a question; more of a demand

You flinched slightly as if his words were an actual physical attack. Taking another deep breath in, you walked up to him, sitting on his bed and putting your hand on his shoulder, which he was quick to swipe off. He turned around and got off the bed, his eyes were bloodshot and his eyebrows were furrowed with what looked to be anger. He didn’t even have to say anything, his expression alone was enough to shoot fear through your body.

“Jeongin...talk to me...I’m here...like I always have been...”

“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE” he yelled

You flinched again, eyes widening at his sudden outburst. He had always been taller than you but at this moment, he just seemed to tower over you. You had noticed things you never would’ve thought to even look at before. The way his fists and jaw clenched so hard, the way his eyes squinted, the way it seemed like he could crush you with ease. It was, to say the least, terrifying.

“I-”

“Can’t you see that I don’t want to talk with you?! I just want you to leave me alone! I don’t need your comfort- I don’t need your pity- I don’t need you!”

You gulped, your eyes began to well up with tears and Jeongin didn’t show the slightest bit of remorse. A few seconds of Jeongin’s heavy breathing and the door swung open, revealing Jisung, it was easy to tell he was mad.

“Jeongin!” He shouted, looking at the youngest

“What?” He asked curtly, glaring at Jisung

Jisung pursed his lips, trying to stay calm. Before anything else, he went up to you, sympathy evident in his eyes while his back was turned from his group member.

“I’m so sorry about this Y/N. I’ll take care of this. I think it’s best if you leave...or at least just go outside of the room for a bit, the rest of the members will take care of you” He said softly, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder, disregarding I.N’s presence

“I- I think I’ll just leave...” You said, trying not to let the tears in your eyes spill down

Jisung nodded in understanding, taking his hand off your shoulder and letting you leave before closing the door. The rest of the group already had their heads turned in your direction. Woojin and Chan looked the maddest, similar expressions to Jisung’s. Seungmin, Hyunjin, and Changbin looked mostly sorry. Despite their different emotions, their first reactions were to come up and comfort you. They were I.N’s friends, yes, but you would have to be blind and deaf to not be able to see who that he was at fault here.

You thanked them but said you just wanted to go home. You winced when you heard shouting begin from inside the room. The members immediately nodded and got you away from the door. Not wanting to overwhelm you, they just let Seungmin see you out.

“Hey. I know what Jeongin said was horrible. He can be scary. I think...it’s selfish of all of our members but...on behalf of them and me- and Jeongin...I want to ask you to give him another chance once he’s cooled down. Friendships always have their bumps and bruises” He said hopefully

“I-...I can’t think properly right now...I’m sorry Seungmin. Thank you for seeing me out”

Seungmin nodded understandingly before letting you leave.

About a week passed and Jeongin had started coming back to school, yet he still did everything in his power to avoid you. To be completely fair...you didn’t exactly put in the effort to talk with him either. What he said seriously did some damage and right now you just wanted a bit of a break. Every time you met eyes with him and saw his droopy expression though, you just wanted to run up to him and hug him as tight as possible.

Another school day of Jeongin avoiding you was over and you got a call from an unknown number.

“Hello?” You asked, answering it

“Y/N? This is Hyunjin, I got your phone from Jeongin’s phone. I just want to know...has he talked to you yet?”

“...no”

You heard Hyunjin say something to a few others on the other side of the line followed by collective groans and annoyed or angry yells. Your guess was that it was the rest of the group.

“do you want him to talk to you?” a nasally voice you recognized to be Changbin’s called

“I...it would be nice if he did” You admitted

“Can you come over to our dorm in say, two hours?” Hyunjin spoke again

“yeah, I will. Thank you...so, so much”

“It’s the least we can do. There’s one more thing I want to tell you,” Hyunjin paused before continuing “Jeongin has feelings for you”

You paused, almost dropping the phone, cheeks beginning to change to the slightest shade of red.

“He always goes on and on about you” Hyunjin continued “It’s obvious to all of us and I thought you should know before you talked to him this afternoon”

“...Thank you,” you smiled

“It’s alright, see you in a couple hours” A small smile being evident in his voice

About an hour and a half passed and you had showered and changed, too distracted to begin your homework. Deciding it was about time to begin heading to the dorm, you walked out, saying a quick goodbye to your parents

A couple minutes and you were there. It almost seemed like a repeat of the last time you were here. With your hands slightly shaky, you took in a deep breath and knocked. Woojin answered. Yep, definitely seemed like a repeat.

“Y/N, you’re here,” he said, already ushering you inside

You and the members have literally only met once before but it felt like coming to visit an old group of friends.

“Jeongin’s studying in his room” Woojin pointed to a room with a slightly open door

“Hey, don’t be afraid to give us a shout if he’s scaring you, yeah?” Chan said before you went in

You nodded and quietly thanked him before going into the room

The very first thing your eyes were drawn to was I.N’s back. His headphone were in and he was sitting cross-legged on his chair, laptop open and books sprawled across the desk. Slowly, you walked up behind him, lightly tapping him on the shoulder. He automatically took out one of his ear-buds before turning to face you, eyes widening when he saw it was actually you.

“Y/N- I-”

Before he could finish, you wrapped your arms around him, feeling him stiffen up in the hug. You stayed like that a few seconds before you felt his arms wrap around you in return. Just as you were about to let go, I.N began to cry into your shoulder, squeezing you tighter.

“I’m- I’m so, so sorry.” His breath began hitching and he couldn’t hold back any more of his tears “I just- I hope-...I hope you can forgive me...please...I’m sorry”

“Innie...” You started running your hands through his hair, using your other one to rub his back sotthingly “It’s ok...I forgive you”

“I...I love you” He pulled away slightly, looking you in the eyes, trying not the let his shyness show through “I love you as more than a friend”

You smiled softly “I love you too”

Jeongin suddenly got the biggest smile ever, finally showing it after what felt like years. it made you heart skip a beat- seeing the I.N you knew before the fight once again.

BONUS

You watched as Stray Kids performed on stage, screaming your lungs and heart out- watching all nine of the members happily dance, sing and rap. Your eyes kept being drawn to I.N. Nothing could ever make you prouder than seeing your best friend- and now boyfriend perform with all of his members like this.

You two met eyes and somehow, his smile grew even wider.

[deansawthetvglow]

The Queer Eye/Supernatural crossover we all need.

“Family Don’t End In Blood”

Bobby: Makes over the bunker to make it feel more like a home. He gives Castiel a minimalist room so he can have some peace in a world that has been so cruel. There’s a bench at the foot of his bed that holds a bunch of super soft blankets so he can take them out when he just needs to feel a bit more human. He also secretly makes and stashes a notebook of photos he found of Cas and Dean under the blankets for Castiel to find on a rainy day. He gives Jack a room with lots of intellectually stimulating things and a cool video game set up. He gives Sam a room with an extra long bed and a bookcase for him to keep is favorites from the library on. He’s skeptical about Dean’s gun wall, but he keeps it there. He also gives Dean a wider bed and a shelf to display his family photos on. 

“I’m no Angel”

Tan: Helps them find better suits for their undercover work and also gets Dean and Sam to invest in some new jackets and flannels that are cool and functional. He also gets them pants that fit well and some waterproof ones for when they have a mission in the forest. He makes them get new sturdy shoes too, Deans have literally been to purgatory and back and it’s time for a new pair. He convinces Castiel to get some new, colorful ties and two new trenchcoats. A black one for more formal occasions, and a super fashionable one, that Castiel chooses, maybe Burberry with a fun floral pattern, just for someday when he wants to express himself. Cas also gets a bee brooch that he puts on his lapel. It makes him smile.

“I swear I’m not domestic”

Antoni: Is sincerely impressed with Dean’s cooking skills and get’s a little domestic with Dean in the kitchen. Castiel glares at them cooking until he insists that he, Sam and Jack are the one’s who need to learn how to cook. Dean gets pushed out of the kitchen so he goes on a really quick grocery run (Karamo tags along) and comes back with the ingredients for Cas’ favourite meal, insisting he teach all of them, Antoni included, how to make it. He gets a little domestic with Cas. All is well. (JVN and Tan are fangirling in the corner as Dean helps Cas work on his whisking form) 

“His name is Chuck.”

Jonathan: Jonathan is appalled with Dean’s hygiene and wonders how he has managed to keep himself healthy at all. Cas admits off to the side that he’s been secretly healing any of Dean’s cavities and other little things like that. Jonathan gives Dean an easy to keep up with routine and tells Jack to never take Dean’s advice on hygiene as he gives Jack a dope new haircut with short, clean sides and keeping the little swoosh he has up top. “Yas Gawd!!!!” Jack informs him very seriously that God’s name is actually Chuck, and he prefers being addressed as such, at least according to Dean and Sam and Castiel. He tries to mess with Sam’s hair, but after many protests, he just takes a little off the sides. I mean, he’s kind of obsessed with it, and Sam, and the whole lumberjack vibe he’s got. Whew chile. But after all, he can tell the Winchester’s don’t like personal change that much, their appearance isn’t the most important thing to them, and everything is already constantly changing around them.

“It’s okay to feel deeply.”

Karamo: Boy oh BOY is he in for a treat. Karamo just kind of stares at the four men in front of him while he analyzes their little habits while the other guys work their magic. They are all so broken. Karamo decides to go with Dean to the store during Antoni’s little cooking session to find out what’s going on. Eventually, Dean gets as close to a love confession for Cas as ever (“I just...I need him, you know?”) and Karamo convinces him to get ingredients for the aforementioned favourite meal. Karamo, sad to see Dean with tears welling in his eyes brings back the old “Dean, being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength. It shows that you are in tune with yourself. It’s okay to be open. It’s okay to feel deeply. It’s a gift to care so much.” In the parking lot of the grocery store, Dean finally breaks, “It..sucks to know how I feel...and to know Cas doesn’t...he doesn’t feel the same way us humans do, you know...” Karamo pulls Cas away from the group while Dean and Sam are debating Jonathan on changing Sammy’s hair. Cas confesses his love flat out for Dean, and for the Winchesters, and for Jack. Karamo asks if there is a difference between the love he has for Dean and the love he has for the mismatched family as a whole. “I would protect all of them with my life, but I’ve made it clear to Dean how I feel. We have a profound bond. Dean has not expressed to me that it is reciprocated.” Karamo cracks up and gives the angel a little advice “Dean doesn’t believe he’s worthy of your love, unless you’re explicit with your romantic feelings, he will keep on going, heart pining for you, but never allowing himself to take the next step. You know he has trust issues. He won’t fall in love, just to be let down again.” Cas had never thought of it that way.  Next, Karamo talks to Sam and realizes how much Sam wants a normal happy life, for himself and for everyone around him. “Take some time for yourself every once in a while, pick up a new hobby that you can use to escape.” Karamo gets Sam a couple succulents to put in his room. “These are resilient, like you, like Dean, like all of you. It’s not like having a dog, who would probably need more attention than you can give right now, but these can be left alone for a long while, as long as you care deeply for them when you’re around. It’ll give you something to breathe life into.” Karamo talks to Jack about his own identity, being the son of Lucifer and all. “Ultimately Jack, you decide your future.” Jack smiles at the sentiment, though he’s still unsure it’s completely up to him.

At the end of the episode, Team Free Will 2.0 returns home and sees how amazing it is. There are little fairy lights up in some of the nooks and crannies, there are a few sayings on the walls (Carry On My Wayward Son etc.), a new record player with all of Dean’s favourites next to a new liquor cabinet, and a newly organized bookshelf from A-Z based on relevancy, content and usefulness (Sam geeks out a little bit at the new system). Dean smiles when he gets into his room, he appreciates a bed bigger than the usual motel ones, and he cries when he sees his family photos up on the shelf. While Dean traces the photos, Castiel excitedly opens the box at the foot of his bed in his own room down the hall. He loves the feel of the blankets, they remind him of clouds and flying and warmth and humanity. He gets to the bottom of the pile earlier than Bobby was anticipating, but he watches eagerly from the doorway anyways, hands up to his face with bated breath. Cas opens the notebook and sits back, breath hitching. It’s an intimate moment, so Bobby is a little shocked when Castiel closes the book so suddenly. (Bobby is kind of freaked out that he did something wrong so he slips away from the door before Cas can see him). Cas gets up pointedly and walks to Dean’s room. Dean is laying on the right side of the bed, holding a photo of his Dad and him and Sammy. Castiel hesitantly slips onto the bed and curls up behind Dean. Dean holds his breath for a second until Cas speaks “I love you, Dean Winchester.” He sinks into Cas’ grip and it feels like home. His “I love you too” is interrupted and affirmed by the Fab Five, Sam and Jack all jumping on top of them on the bed in glee. 

The goodbyes are the worst part, Dean lets himself cry in front of the five, and the others follow suit. After a huge group hug, the Fab Five leaves, feeling like they did well. 

“That’s Family” 

Dean, Sam, Cas and Jack are always doing something big, so instead of sending a video of them hosting a party or inviting people over, they decide to send in an update that’s just about them, going about their daily lives. Sam proudly presents his succulents, he bought two new ones too, and named them all after his favourite authors. Jack shows them around his room and brags about how soft his skin is, even though Dean rolls his eyes at that. Dean makes them all a meal before a family movie night. Cass helps him out and wraps his arms around Dean’s waist as he sautees some mushrooms. Dean looks over his shoulder to kiss Cas, sweet and slow, in front of the Fab Five and the rest of the world he supposes. He smiles into the camera and winks “Thanks for having the foresight of a bigger bed, Bobby” 

The final shot is of the four boys sitting on the couch in their living room, whiskey on the table in front of them, popcorn between all of them, Cas fit comfortably in Deans lap. They all smile and wave, throwing popcorn at the camera and dissolving into laughter “Thank you!” 

The video cuts out and the entirety of the Fab Five are a fucking mess.

Yes, even Tan