#this is my first ps creation in like forever

[postsforposting]

the god damned shaking camera in GO s2

No, literally.

These aren't the only time the camera shakes--specifically the camera, and not the environment, like when the characters stumble and lose their footing because the actual ground is shaking. The camera is also not terribly smooth in s1 either, but it's far less noticeable. In the last gif, that's the present day--so this happens in the present too, not just the past.

Every single one of these moments where the camera shakes happen at a crucial moral, character-point: a point that changes the characters' values, who they are.

What is actually shaking, though? The camera is essentially our view; in s1 our view was god's view. That makes the camera-view the sky, aka the heavens. The heavens are shaking.

Biblically, a "shaking of the heavens and earth" is a common phrase, and it's tied to the end times. Shaking of the earth is used to indicate god's presence and power--in GO we saw Satan's arrival shake the earth, and when angels and demons arrive they often cause a little quake. The shaking of the heavens refers to the destruction of the enemies of the righteous, of Jesus (keep in mind this is about real Christianity, not GO itself):

For Hebrews, the “shaking” of heaven and earth refers to the judgment of the enemies of God. This is what God promised at the enthronement of Jesus. God said to Him: “Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet” (Heb. 1:13, ESV). Thus, Jesus has defeated the enemy (Heb. 2:14–16) and been enthroned (Heb. 1:5–14), but the enemies have not yet been destroyed (Heb. 10:11–14; 1 Cor. 15:23–25). But God will destroy these enemies in the future, when He will shake the heavens and the earth. The shaking of the heavens and the earth means, then, the destruction of the earthly powers that persecute God’s people and, more importantly, the destruction of the evil powers (Satan and his angels) who stand behind the earthly powers and control them. God has also announced that He will “shake” the heavens and the earth, which means that He will destroy enemy nations. Many modern translations of Hebrews 12:27 suggest that the shaking of the heavens and the earth means that they will be removed and forever gone. The Bible is clear, however, that God will create new heavens and a new earth (Isa. 65:17; Rev. 21:1–4), and we will be resurrected and have a new body (1 Thess. 4:13–17; Phil. 3:20) on this earth. Thus, the “shaking” implies the cleansing and renovation of creation, not its complete removal. What is here will be re-created, and it will be where the redeemed live. There are some things, however, that will not and cannot be shaken. They include the righteous. They will not be shaken because they trust in God. The Creator sustains them and guarantees their survival. Note that in Hebrews, permanence and stability are associated with Jesus. [...] In the final judgment, those who hold fast “in Jesus” will not be shaken (Ps. 46:5).

There are some things, however, that will not and cannot be shaken.

The characters in scenes where the camera shakes are not themselves shaken. Why not? They're not the enemies who are being destroyed.

What is, then? Who, or what, are the enemies?

Hate, distrust, bystanding, the morals of heaven, all that nasty stuff. You know, evil.

In the first gif, the angel who will be Crowley creates the stars with Aziraphale's help, shares info and concerns with him, and shields him from the fireballs. The scene gently bops around, but the true shaking is during the creation of the nebula and at the end as shown in the gif. Any angel could have happened by and could have participated up until the end, but Crowley shows us he doesn't really care for just anyone: he doesn't introduce himself. His act of shielding Aziraphale at the end, then, is meaningful and specific to Aziraphale, for specifically him, not just anyone.

During the Job flashback, there are several shakes, but it's most obvious during the ox rib temptation and feast. Crowley does not judge Aziraphale for indulging, and they both experience changes: Crowley learns he's not alone in doubting and being a black sheep, learning to trust outside himself and especially in a group that's done him harm, and that he enjoys someone else's joy; Aziraphale learns physical experience, that not everything he's been told about himself and his people is true or trustworthy--the first steps to doubt, and the first steps to trusting. What is reduced is distrust, indifference, and lack of care for people you are supposed to hate.

The demon attack on the bookshop forces Aziraphale to take drastic measures, specifically acts of war, to protect two humans. He permanently discorporates a lot of demons to protect both Gabriel and the humans. Gabriel has harmed him in the past, tried to kill him, and the humans have done nothing to help him, indeed they put themselves in this situation by refusing to leave when he told them to and who caused the problem by allowing the demons into the shop. Aziraphale is showing how far he will go to help others, even others he himself does not like, others whose predicament is both their own fault and who have put Aziraphale himself in danger. He believes it's not right to allow demons to have them: sinning, even against an angel, should not result in eternal punishment in hell, and he's willing to go to war over this. That's the final evil to be purged, of course that would shake the heavens, literally and figuratively.

What does all the Biblical stuff mean for the GO universe?

The afterlife system is an enemy of Jesus. God herself is an enemy of Jesus. Perhaps we don't hear god this season because she's being transformed, or utterly destroyed, by the second coming herself: it is written that all enemies will be destroyed, and what is written must come to pass. Will god herself be overwritten, like Gabriel was? Will god fall, like her own angels fell, and be remade? Will her identity too be lost, like Lucifer's was lost? Like Gabriel's was threatened?

Rebirth is a huge theme; it's what the second coming actually is, both for Jesus and for humanity. Jesus is reborn, and Jesus is god. Perhaps whatever happens to Jesus, also changes god herself. Perhaps the universe itself will be reborn too, with a new god, where the Fall never happened, where the horrors of the bible never happened, just like in s1 where Satan was never Adam's father. It would be a perfect symmetry, where god was never humanity's mother, and that would reach back to before the beginning to change when god originally planned it. It would change god herself, as it changed Satan himself, and rippled through all reality.

At the end of s1e6, we do hear god say: "Perhaps the recent exertions had had some fallout in the nature of reality, because while they were eating, for the first time ever, a nightingale actually did sing in Berkeley Square. Nobody heard it over the noise of the traffic, but it was there right enough."

How do you make a horrific god into a good god? You don't, unless you reboot it and utterly remake it. Perhaps that's why there is no god in s2, because the nature of reality has changed. Perhaps that's why there's weird time issues. Perhaps the nature of miracles changed, and what was previously impossible is now possible, or the opposite.

[xiaoxiongmaos]

end (beginning?) of year appreciation post ♡

hello~ this is xixi (also @/choibeomggyu)!

♡ # ⏤ e

@20cm @97chwe @agibbangs @ambivartence ♡ @ashisland ♡ @awek-s @beomgyus @choiyeonjuns ♡ @connecteds @ddonghyun @digitalgirls ♡ @dongjusmilf @dreamaze​ @euijin 

♡ g ⏤ j

@go-saeng ♡ @hearttoshu ♡ @hoyounq ♡ @hueningkai @hwarizon @hyunjins @hyunpic @hyunsung @inhypen @injunnies @innielove @inracha @itshyuka ♡ @jaeyooniverse @jaeyunsim @jihan @junhee

♡ k ⏤ p

@kdongyoung @kyucob @leejinkie @leemarkies ♡ @leenow @letsstaywithstraykids @limsejun ♡ @maatryoshkaa @nevoono @parksnghoon @pjmsdior @polaroidlove

♡ r ⏤ z

@racha @saltys @scoupsy @seonghwaminho @seunglixes ♡ @seungminhos @seungs @slowrabbitpd​ @smallkore @song-mingi ♡ @strayz @usertae @wonjinist @y2kjungkook @yeonjuins ♡ @yeonjune @yjunies ♡ @yongseungkim ♡

(if there’s a ♡ after your url, i’ve left a little (or not so little hehe) note under the cut for you!)

♡ ⏤

i had originally planned to make a year-end post for all my lovely friends/mutuals which then got dragged into the first week of 2023 on my bday ;;;;; but thank you so much to all the lovely people that have followed this quaint little blog of mine and supported my content throughout my time here on tumblr! i can’t believe it’ll be a whole 1460 days since i made this account later this year... feels like just yesterday i signed up and logged in for the first time ever hehe

it always brings a smile to my face seeing each and every single silly, cute, sweet, supportive tag under any of my gifs, graphics, fanart etc.! i really cannot emphasize enough how wonderful it is to see people like my work enough to reblog it, take time out of their day to gush about it in the tags or send me the occasional ask/dm complimenting any aspect of it (´,,•ω•,,)♡ i truly appreciate all of you.

with the new year finally here and all, i’m sure a lot of people have resolutions and expectations set for the next 365 days so just remember to take it easy⏤start small and that’ll eventually lead you to kick bigger goals out there! you’ll see that every micro-habit has a monumentous impact when you look back on your progress, so read even one paragraph daily or go to sleep 15 mins earlier than you usually would. after all, buildings don’t just appear out of nowhere, you have to stack each brick one by one c: just make sure to not overexert yourself!

thank you to everyone once again, i love looking at all of your beautiful creations on the dashboard and seeing you in my notifications, as well as interacting with you whenever the opportunity arises c:

⏤ ♡

@itshyuka ⏤ oh, where to start... i just really, really, really miss you. a ton. thank you so much for teaching me how to gif, i don’t know where i’d be (probably still getting confused looking at the layers panel dljkdjfjf) if it weren’t for you, lia ♡ late 2019-early 2020 was one of the toughest years of my life and i’ll forever be indebted and grateful to you for being there to cheer me up with your hyuka info dumps, our inspiring conversations and your lovely gifsets. whenever i feel down i go to your blog and feel refreshed just looking at it :D i owe all of my knowledge on ps, vs & anything to do with creating content to you, thank you for supporting me all the way back then to rooting for me even now, no matter how scarce our encounters have become. i hope life is treating you well, and that you become a well-loved and respected educator!

@choiyeonjuns ⏤ vivi! i have been trying to write this for about an hour now; writing, erasing then repeating multiple times⏤how to put everything into a miniature paragraph? words can never truly relay the amount of love i have for you and your blog, thank you for being my friend from day 1 on moablr and always supporting me. i love my little conversations with you whenever they sporadically happen, and i’m so glad we have so many common interests, enabling me to support your content across all of your blogs :3 i hope you get back all the love and support you gives others tenfold, and are always surrounded by happiness!

@go-saeng ⏤ i miss talking to you and seeing you on the dash a lot kashi ;;;;; meeting you was one of the highlights of my 2020-2021 and talking to you was always such a nice part of my day. i’m still blown away each time i see your gfx and gifs on the dashboard as well as am so proud of your gif growth. i also always go back to that runaway & minho + jeongin set you dedicated to me⏤considering all of the effort you put in to make something for myself makes me tear up sometimes... but when life’s rough, the very words you put under them comfort me beyond measure and i gain the strength to face whatever new challenge is thrown my way! hope that you are well and happy, may 2023 bring you loads of blessings!

@hoyounq ⏤ i’m not sure if you’ll see this but you introduced me to so many lovely people, filled my days with laughter and it’s been an absolute pleasure being mutuals with you, han (´｡• ω •｡`) talking to you and hanjess shenanigans on the timeline will forever be ingrained in my heart and i just want you to know that i really appreciate having you in my life! you’re truly the sunshine and rainbows in one’s life personified ♡

@hearttoshu ⏤ jess dearest! i really don’t know what to say dhfdjsd but i appreciate you so very much, always putting up with my incessant rambles about life, beomgyu, my favourite groups and everything in between! you’re such a sweet and perceptive person, always looking out for others and offering your support⏤i hope i can offer you the same. seeing you jaeyuning everywhere makes my heart warm and i’m so glad you got me more into to1 and verivery ♡ i love seeing your creations on the dashboard and in the tags, your sharpening is one of my absolute favourites because of how almost sparkly your gifs turn out to be... like rhinestones under the moonlight! hope you have a lovely year ahead c:

@ashisland ⏤ dear gabi: you’re so cute when you talk about your ults & i can’t help but get giddy whenever i read your tags, both under my posts and when you’re gushing over serim :D i’m so sorry for making you the target of all my non-sense, but i also will tell you that i can’t promise that it’ll cease, you’re the yeonjun to my beomgyu after all djfjddj i love your gifs so much and thank you for spending your precious time to make me stuff whenever you see me talk about it. hope lab gets easier to deal with for you this year and please know that you’re always doing a good job and worked hard⏤please take it easy on yourself, even by just a little!

@yeonjuins ⏤ woo! your talent never ceases to amaze me, from your well-crafted graphics to how you come up with new ways to bully heeseung sodkdkfj i know it’s not been long since we’ve started talking but you have quickly made your way into my list of friends and i love conversing with you ♡ i love your energy and end up feeling content after talking to you. here’s to another year of yeonjuins & your delightful creations on tumblr, as well as our friendship!

@digitalgirls ⏤ thank you so, so much for always supporting my work, jo! it’s lovely having you on the dash/timeline and i always get so inspired by your content, you’re definitely one of my (if not the most) coolest mutuals, the quality on your work and blog is insane :o i still feel so shy whenever i realize you follow me back and have been for a long while ^^; thank you for all of your hard work and i hope you have a wonderful 2023!

@song-mingi ⏤ my favourite atinytual and justbtual... thank you for single-handedly carrying both fandoms on your back and presenting us with all of your lovely content along with it! it’s super fun having you on the dashboard and i love interacting with you; you’re sunshine and rainbows personified too hehe how fitting for hanri! hope you have a lovely year ahead and that there’s loads more of irigifs to see ♡

@seunglixes ⏤ luna! i know it’s been a while but i love seeing your creations, and you, all the same! i don’t think i’ve met anyone who loves felix more than you yet⏤i hope that i can make you a bday present again this year and not miss the date as last year ;;;;; keep creating and loving felix in 2023 as well!

@ambivartence ⏤ thank you so much for always supporting the art i post siyuan! i love seeing your sweet tags under it and also your gifs + fanart on the dashboard! i appreciate the advice and love you’ve given me and my blog ♡ hope you get to expand your reach and develop your art style even more this year!

@limsejun​ sam my dear friend! i am so glad i had the fortune of meeting you, i really love all of your sets from both your kpop and kdrama blog; you motivated me to start a kdrama sideblog and i hope to engage with your content through it as well~ i’m still holding you to that promise of loving me forever for the sejun url djkafsjfk

@yjunies ⏤ your entire blog is just so pleasing to look at and every single thing you create is really pretty, ana ♡ i aspire to be able to make such beautiful content like yours one day; until then, i’ll simply ooh and aah at everything you put out u.u you’re such a sweet and kind person & i hope only good things come your way, always!

@yongseungkim ⏤ shine! i don’t know if you’ll be seeing this soon either but i love talking to you and hearing you go on about yongseung... thank you for pushing me to be more confident in myself and being my korean teacher (though it was short-lived haha); i hope 2023 treats you well! 

@leemarkies ⏤ marie my beloved! i am so glad i got paired with you for the secret santa event last year, as it did lead to us becoming friends. i love reading all your idiosyncratic tags and thank you for supporting my stray kids content since day one! i hope we can engage more this year and that you are surrounded by love & happiness in this one as well as the next ♡

[bripops]

omg I'm so giddy I cannot decide which WIP to ask you about because they all sound flipping amazing but maybe 3 or 6, whichever you feel happiest with rn? (ps first time caller, long time listener -- just wanna say I'm a huge huge fan of all your fics)

AHH OMG I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD ACTUALLY ASK ME ANYTHING, YOU GET ALL OF THE ABOVE

3. hopeless, breathless, burning slow [horny dirk gently treatise]

So this one is actually published [ao3 link], but I put it in there because it was published recently and I thought the working title was funny lmao. It was honestly a classic example of this post that's like "yeah bro it's a character study. the 2 thousand words of blowjob is vital to the study of the character" where I wanted to write Dirk getting absolutely railed but I also wanted to talk about why getting absolutely railed is a profound, important thing to him. 5,000 words later, that was the result lol

6. it's dangerous (I'm falling) [megstiel fuckfest]

okay so I've been on the megstiel hype squad forever and got the idea a few years back for a s7 canon divergence AU. the basic plot is that after Cas takes on Sam's madness, he ends up giving his grace to the Winchesters to use as a nuke against the Leviathans, and Meg ends up in the same caretaker role for him because he's not quite human but he's also definitely not an angel and needs to be kept out of the way while they figure it all out. the two of them end up in a shitty apartment trying to figure out where Castiel's limits are, which is of course a deeply satisfying experience for Meg that turns sexual REALLY quickly. they bond over shared trauma, daddy issues, teaching Cas how to smoke a joint, and sexually charged sparring scenes. here's a snippet:

“Tell me about the stars, Clarence,” Meg said lazily, looking up at the sky. The city lights washed out a lot of them, but they could still see a few burning above the haze. 

“What would you like to know?” Castiel asked. 

Meg shrugged. “I dunno,” she said, “weren’t you there when they were created or some shit? Gimme something that’ll come in handy at trivia night.”

“You don’t go to trivia night,” Cas said, “and the stars came before I did. They were part of let there be light. I have no memory of their creation.”

“Make something up then,” Meg said. “What about that one?”

She pointed up, and Castiel was more or less able to follow to the star she was looking at. It was particularly bright, blinking in the night sky and if he focused, he could almost make out the shift in color.

“That’s a binary star,” he explained. “It looks like one point of light, but it’s two stars orbiting around a common center. In a few million years they’ll collide and be destroyed on impact.”

“Well shit,” Meg said, pulling another joint out of her pack of cigarettes. Her lighter flickered in the dark and she inhaled deeply. Wordlessly, not looking away from the sky, she held it out to Cas.

He shook his head first before realizing she wouldn’t see it. “No thank you,” he said, “I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough.” His throat was still raw from coughing his way through the first joint.

“Oh come on,” Meg said, propping herself up on her elbows and looking over at Cas. “I’m sure you have a few more hits in you.”

Castiel shook his head again now that she could see him do it, and enjoyed the way his body hummed with the movement. He was relaxed head to toe, his fingertips tingling and his skin hyper-sensitive to every shift against the blanket, every brush of the breeze on his face.

Meg took another hit, and blew the smoke into Castiel’s face. He grumbled, closing his eyes against the sting, and Meg laughed.

“How about we shotgun it,” she offered.

“I don't see what firearms have to do with this," Cas said, frowning. Now probably wasn't the best time to check if he could still shoot a gun; he hadn't even brought one.

Meg laughed. “Oh my god, you’ve been alive for thousands of years and still act like you were born yesterday. C’mere.”

Cas shifted up so he was propped on his elbows too and looked at Meg curiously.

“When I breathe out, you breathe in, okay?”

“What--” Castiel started to say, but she was already taking a drag.

Cas watched her do it, transfixed by the easy way her lips wrapped around the joint and how her chest rose as she inhaled. When she’d taken enough, Meg leaned in close until she was just a few inches from Castiel’s lips. He wondered, in a fuzzy-minded daze, if he was about to be kissed.

Instead, smoke poured out of her mouth, and remembering to do what he was told, Cas breathed in. He filled his lungs, but it burned less, and he was too distracted by Meg’s closeness to mind much.

“Better?” she asked with a smirk.

Cas exhaled, watching the smoke spiral towards the sky.

“Much,” he said, lying back down. He had a full-body buzz that felt like TV static on his brain, making his limbs heavy and his eyes close. He felt Meg shift next to him, and when Castiel opened his eyes again she was leaning over him, almost nose-to-nose.

It was a testament to the weed that he didn’t startle, just blinked up at her.

“Want another?”

[lorde-spooky]

Okay, partly true and partly false. Punk was always an *economically* leftist subculture from the beginning, but economic leftism and social progressivism weren't always synonyms like they're considered to be today. Of course now it's obvious (to most people) that since our modern capitalist system was built on racist foundations, you cannot be effectively anti capitalist without being anti racist (same goes for the oppression of any marginalized group of people), but at the time this wasn't commonly accepted in leftist circles. The (US) government very deliberately tried to put down economic leftism in black communities which is one of the many things that led to the FBI's assassination of Fred Hampton. Crenshaw's creation of intersectional theory in '89 was really the lynchpin that led to the modern left's acceptance of socially progressive movements to the point where the two are basically synonymous today. (Barry Goldwater arguably accidentally created the link between left leaning economic policy and progressive social policy when he tried and failed to win the presidency by running on a segregationist platform in 1964 as a republican, forever linking his party to white supremacy)

Moving on from that tangent, there was always anti racist or feminist members of the movement, however in the seventies they were absolutely the minority by a wide margin. Punk was an incredibly hostile environment for POCs for the vast majority of it's history and (like most alt subcultures) still tends to put pale and skinny members of the community on a pedestal as the embodiment of the movement and aesthetic, even if it has shifted to be slightly more socially inclusive in the past decade or so.

Just to cover my bases with the rest of punks history with progressive social movements. The Riot Grrrl movement was the first prominent push for feminist representation in punk and that didn't start until the late eighties (or early nineties depending on who you ask). The LGBTQ community only really gained prominence in punk circles in the past twenty years (although it's been bubbling under the surface ever since the start of the Riot Grrrl movement). And of course there's certain poser groups who love to say that the real punks are conservatives, completely misunderstanding the meaning of counter culture.

Punk is, however, counter cultural. It's been anti capitalist from the beginning, and even though some of the progenitors of the movement were profoundly off the mark, it's obvious now that to be punk, you have to be anti capitalist. To be punk, you have to be anti racist. To be punk, you have to be feminist. To be punk, you have to support LGBTQ rights, and the rights of any human being. To be punk you have to look at the bigoted systems and machines that our society is founded on and want to tear them down. Punk is more than an aesthetic, it's a social and political movement.

Wearing a leather jacket and mohawk doesn't make you punk. I could dress like a victorian aristocrat but I will always be more punk than any fascist right wing stooge no matter how many spikey belts or patches and pins he wears. Simply because of my beliefs. Johnny Ramone was a poser and if he wasn't already dead I would say that to his face.

(PS: @slutdge I'm sorry for screenshotting and reposting, but i couldn't reblog and as you can tell I had a lot to say about the topic. I agree with your sentiments and i think your heart is in the right place but I'm a pretentious asshole who loves historical context)

[saketoge]

✨ content creator year in review ✨

very late to the game but tagged by @chanrizard thanks sa 🥰

first creation / most recent creation

2021 wrapped: top ten songs - my very first creation actually! wild that it's been a year since i started giffing !!

gtkm top 5 skz songs - honestly turned out better than i thought it would :)

2. one of your favorite creations

this favorite + negative space set, which admittedly is not that great and i would def do it a little differently now but still i think it's kinda neat conceptually. also this hyunjin venom set where i started playing around with noise and it kinda worked !

3. a creation you're really proud of

this seokwoo cb stage set . it was swirling around my brain for ages and when i finally made it i really liked the way all the colors turned out

4. a creation that took you forever

BRO THIS GOT7 LULLABY SET 💀 my boys were GHOSTS in that video and this was before i knew what color balance was so i was fighting for my life with like 3 selective color layers to get them to look moderately normal again </33

5. the creation that received the most notes

coincidentally it was also the got7 lullaby set lmao (thanks aghaseblr 😘)

6. a creation you think deserves more notes

fr i don't think any of my gifs deserve notes; i do this for fun and don't expect anything out of it but ofc it's great whenever someone likes or reblogs my stuff . sa said it best that i may know how much effort i put into something or how proud i am of the end result of something and then it doesn't pan out the way i thought it might, but that doesn't mean anybody owes me a note nor does it lessen the value of what i make ! i'm cool with any notes i get it's not that deep for me man

. . . that being said i will highlight any and all treasure content i've made bc they are literal gems and everyone should luv them i think 😋💗

7. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it

at this point i'm p sure i have become ur resident lino skztual HOWEVER where my abnews at ?! i love these boys i hope to make more stuff for them in the future !

8. a creation you made that breaks your heart

this mashiho set i made for rachel's birthday . it obviously wasn't heartbreaking at the time but now that he's left it just makes me miss him even more :'(((((

9. a "simple" creation that you really love

this lil set i made for jaehyuk's birthday <3 i really didn't do much to it and big jae gifs bring me joy 🥰

10. a creation that was inspired by another one

my top ten albums set was inspired by this one by siyuan ! i was gonna do jewel cases instead of vinyl but my dumb brain couldn't figure that out in ps so we went with plan b

11. a favorite creation created by someone else

too hard there's sooooo many too many to count

12. favorite content creators for the year

i'm giving all of u a forehead kiss with permission y'all inspire me keep it up ! 💓

in no particular order: @changbeens | @chanrizard | @snug-gyu | @kdongyoung | @wonjinist | @yutaslaugh | @dongkwan | @ambivartence | @takatamashi | @njaems | @bangzchan | @hyunpic | @hyunebear | @seokmins | @wabisaba

[coralinehecc]

Corals Monthly Update #3

HOHOHO!! FIRST BLOG POST OF 2023 AND I’M NEARLY 2 WEEKS LATE!!! Super sorry about the long wait! I’ve had tests recently and only got off of school like a few days ago haha! So! Welcome back to my monthly update on what I get up to in my life! Now, before we get into January, I, for the final time, have to tap back into the previous month. Curse past me for thinking the 21st was a good day to start doing these!!! ANYHOW! The rest of December and early January were a BLAST! But lemmie talk about what happened after I made the last update. CHRISTMAS!! I had a great time with my family and I got a bunch of fluffy things cuz that’s apparently the easiest thing to get me now. We also had dinner on Christmas day with my Grandparents like every year. Over-all that day was very fun! I even got drunk playing Minecraft which was funny for everyone in VC. The next few days weren’t anything exciting, however my brother Finn had a bunch of his friends over for his birthday which was chaotic. But the excitement picks back up on the 28th! BECAUSE SKYE AND VI CAME OVER FOR NEW YEARS!! We’ve been planning this since like, June, so it was awesome seeing them again! We did all kinds of stuff from shopping to playing some awesome games! (I am now chronically addicted to Ultra Kill thanks guys)

We even did some baking! Here is our glorious creation I dubbed, “The Jimothy”. 

Overall the rest of December was awesome! I’m glad I got to celebrate New Years with my besties! Overall, I’ll give it a 10/10! Best way to end 2022 >:D Here’s a few more misc photos hehehhehe

NOW! FOR JANUARY!! January started off still vibing with the guys. However they would then go home on the 4th which sucks. But before that, both Skye and I spent a lot of money on consoles that are almost as old as ourselves. They bought a fucking PS Vita and I got a motherfucking Wii. We both had fun with em and I even helped Skye homebrew their Vita since I wanted to put PebbleCD on it (I failed but shut uuup) But yea, sadly the guys had to go and it sucked! But I still had a great time. There’s a bit of a gap here right up until the 12th, where finally, the big event happened. CAREY IN THE HOUSE WENT LIVE!! I had finished it a few days prior but figured I’d build up hype by posting it on that Friday. AND IT SURE WORKED! The video blew up faster than any of my videos before it! I am so happy the response has been overwhelmingly positive. I also love how the only main complaint that was common amongst people was that Careys exaggerated accent was annoying which, yea can’t argue against. For anyone wishing for more CITH content, I did a behind the scenes mega thread over on my twitter if you wanna have a deeper look into the production! I’ll even link it here:  https://twitter.com/Carey_Black_/status/1619731723352444928 Now, to move onto why it took me forever to make an update. My mock exams.. BUT BEFORE THAT!! THERE’S ALSO THE FACT THAT MR WULF AND I WERE ABLE TO ARCHIVE THE ORIGINAL EDDSWORLD BANG BOOM SPLAT PROJECT FILE!!

This all started because Wulf wanted to edit the credits for his arcade BBS build since I was helping him out and since I said SWF modding is hard he just casually asked Psycosis and after seeing his WIP cabinet, gave Wulf the FLA! So a current “BBS arcade version” is in the works by yours truly thanks to both the generosity of Psycosis and the fact that Mr Wulf is a fucking mad man who could stop global warming in a month if he wanted to LOL! Here’s Wulfs finished Cabinet btw!:  https://twitter.com/MrWulfOfficial/status/1622295302685315073 But yea, for real. My mock exams were a pain! For those outside of Ireland or have a different name for em, Mock exams are, well, exams that act like a practice run for your finals. They’re always harder than the actual finals and are usually graded stricter too! Why? Who knows! The Irish education system is a joke. I feel like I did somewhat ok in them anyway? Some were definitely worse than others but overall it was more of an inconvenience. I did get this really cool art piece out of it however.

Exams would later spill over into February and like I said at the start, I finished and got off school a few days ago. Overall, this month was about a 7/10. It was pretty good, especially in the Eddsworld department, but mocks and other personal tid bits I didn’t mention here dragged it down for me. Since February seems to be mostly me being off school, I hope this month will be better haha! Only time will tell! Thank you for reading! And I hope to see you next month!! (Hopefully on time too haha!) 

[fansandtheic]

Liz's Story

Dear Mr Paolini, I will never forget the first time I picked up a beaten up paperback copy of Eragon, passed down to me by my brother, and dove into a world of fantasy like I'd never experienced before. Your words opened the door to me to read all kinds of books that I'd never picked up before and beyond that, they made me laugh and cry and think more than any book I'd read. The stories of Eragon and Saphira and everyone else are of course dramatic and thrilling with swords and dragons and spells, but the most impactful part to me is the connection between the people that is at the heart of the series. The love and sacrifice that every character experiences in some way made me think about what it means to really love. I learned about doing the right thing out of love for others and not as a shallow token of self righteousness. The way Roran and Katrina love each other so fiercely and the deep connection between dragons and riders makes me rethink my relationships with the people around me and reminds me not to take them for granted. It's been about six years since I first read the Inheritance Cycle and it is still changing the way I think. For the past few years I've struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts. I've been in darker places than I ever have before and a few months ago I tried to end my life. As I try to pick up the pieces and find a way forward, I've been listening to your books again. I'm so grateful for the joy they've brought, and even when I feel like I know the stories inside out I still share in Eragon's fears and triumphs as he grows and finds his way in Alagaësia. It is so encouraging to see someone fight through something that seems impossible and incredibly overwhelming, that they feel so unprepared for and lost as to how to overcome it. And it reminds me that strength comes from relying on the people around us, reaching out and building stronger connections, fighting for our loved ones even when it feels hopeless. I won't say I've won my battles yet or totally defeated the Galbatorix in my mind, but I wanted to tell you how much your books mean to me and have comforted me over the years. They inspire me to fight for joy in my life and I'm incredibly thankful to you for putting your creations out into the world, and for the crazy amount of details and emotions that bring Alagaësia to life. Your words have changed me as a reader and a person and your world will forever have a place in my heart and on my shelves. From your grateful fan, Liz Turner

PS I know it's yours to decide but I want to believe that Murtagh and Nasuada are reunited and supporting each other, I think they need a happy ending :) also I'm so excited for the Disney+ SERIES and more of the Fractalverse!!

[a-study-in-dante]

WIP titles game!

Thank you @lithugraph for tagging me!

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Oh boy, this is gonna be a long one but I'm so, so excited. (I'll list them all, even if I've begun to post some of them, just for clarity and shameless self-promoting, but won't include the rewrite/2.0 /translated versions I have in mind and/or in the WIP folder). PS: I'm so pissed my computer changed the creation dates of ALL the files when I transfered them on it, because I would have included that. Some of these have been going on for far too long.

Hetalia

Ambassy AU. (The document starts with We need a damn title.) PruAus. Oneshot. 2 pages so far.

AU Pianiste. PruAus. 7 pages so far, no idea if this is a multichapter or oneshot.

(Realized an article's bibliography is saved in the WIPs folder oops lemme just change that real quick)

C'est la faute à Voltaire. FrUK. Empty document.

Champagne in Amsterdam. Ensemble cast but mostly Romano/Belgium. Long oneshot, so far 10 pages.

Château de cartes. PruAus. Fun fact: I ended up using that title for the renaming of my (only) RusPru, originally titled You give love a bad name, when I decided to post it on AO3. So yeah, need another title for this one. 2 paragraphs.

Fine dell'estate. Spamano! Started posting it last year.

Golden Sixties Are You Lonesome Tonight. FrUK. Oneshot, 2 pages so far.

Golden Sixties It's Now or Never. Spamano, Oneshot, 13 pages so far.

Golden Sixties Love Me Tender. PruAus. Oneshot, 2 pages so far.

(Those three are indeed part of a serie, I just listed them separately because this is now the official inventory of my WIPs documents™)

I bet you look good on the dancefloor (also known as Flat White and Barristas for some reason). Spamano. Three drabbles written.

I miss you (which is actually just the first line of the doc, was too lazy to come up with a title). PruAus. One dialogue so far.

I'll take the rain. PruAus. One shot, 2 pages so far.

Moderato Cantabile. PruAus, ongoing (I promise!) publication on AO3!

Nave Espacial. Spamano. 1 page.

Not another teen movie. PruAus. 3 sentences.

Old. PruAus. 4 paragraphs.

OS Noël. I think that's SuFin??? 4 lines.

Patria - PruAus aka Zeitgeist. PruAus. This is technically Patria's 13th chapter, but it was always my intention to publish it as a stand alone oneshot as well. And since it's already 32 pages long (Patria is 65 pages long so far) and I'd say it's only half of it, it looks like an even better idea!

Patria. Spamano. Ongoing publication on FF and AO3 since forever/2018.

Pirates AU. I don't even know!!! It stars England though. 2 paragraphs.

Quatre mots sur un piano. PruAusHun, this is one of my oldest projects and I can't see myself actually writing it. 5 pages.

Renaissance. Spamano. Multichapters but like 5 max (initially planned 3). 30 pages so far. First two parts available on FF.

The Berlin File Die Berlin-Akte aka The Berlin File. PruAus. Publication started on both FF and AO3, this is one of my oldest WIPs: I started this on the drafts of my phone in 2015 🙃

The Winds Are Shifting. Spamano. Also one of my oldest WIPs, even though I only wrote a paragraph so far. Oh, and wrote it as a sonnet titled Tourne le vent (which is still in my WIP folder too btw) for an assignment in first year of uni.

Vincere Tenebras. PruAus. One shot probably, 3 pages so far.

Stucky/MCU

Damn the Weather. Stucky, ongoing publication on AO3!

The Void. MCU, but mostly Stucky. Ongoing publication on AO3!

Bagginshield

Bagginshield. Lolz. 6 pages, probably multi-chaps.

Misc.

00Q - Hunt-Brandt. This is a cross over. Guess the pairings lol. Multichapters, 11 pages so far.

Hymne à l'absent. Enjoltaire. One-shot, 3 pages so far.

Selfindulgent Dark Academia Short Story. Need I say more? Exclusively OC. Inspired by my fall-winter semester in Cambridge. 2 pages so far.

You've Lost That Loving Feeling. Ethan Hunt - William Brandt (Mission: Impossible franchise), it's on AO3 and I SWEAR I'll finish it. Some day.

Waiting for asks lovely people (please)

And tagging @like-a-bucky !

[catolinewsdailyreadings]

Friday of the Ninth Week in Ordinary Time

Readings of Friday, June 9, 2023

Reading 1

Tb 6:10-11; 7:1bcde, 9-17; 8:4-9a

When the angel Raphael and Tobiah had entered Media  and were getting close to Ecbatana, Raphael said to the boy, “Tobiah, my brother!” He replied: “Here I am!” He said: “Tonight we must stay with Raguel, who is a relative of yours. He has a daughter named Sarah.”

So he brought him to the house of Raguel, whom they found seated by his courtyard gate. They greeted him first. He said to them, “Greetings to you too, brothers! Good health to you, and welcome!” And he brought them into his home.

Raguel slaughtered a ram from the flock and gave them a cordial reception. When they had bathed and reclined to eat, Tobiah said to Raphael, “Brother Azariah, ask Raguel to let me marry my kinswoman Sarah.” Raguel overheard the words; so he said to the boy: “Eat and drink and be merry tonight, for no man is more entitled to marry my daughter Sarah than you, brother. Besides, not even I have the right to give her to anyone but you, because you are my closest relative. But I will explain the situation to you very frankly. I have given her in marriage to seven men, all of whom were kinsmen of ours, and all died on the very night they approached her. But now, son, eat and drink. I am sure the Lord will look after you both.” Tobiah answered, “I will eat or drink nothing until you set aside what belongs to me.”

Raguel said to him: “I will do it. She is yours according to the decree of the Book of Moses. Your marriage to her has been decided in heaven! Take your kinswoman; from now on you are her love, and she is your beloved. She is yours today and ever after. And tonight, son, may the Lord of heaven prosper you both. May he grant you mercy and peace.”  Then Raguel called his daughter Sarah, and she came to him. He took her by the hand and gave her to Tobiah with the words: “Take her according to the law. According to the decree written in the Book of Moses she is your wife. Take her and bring her back safely to your father. And may the God of heaven grant both of you peace and prosperity.” Raguel then called Sarah’s mother and told her to bring a scroll, so that he might draw up a marriage contract stating that he gave Sarah to Tobiah as his wife according to the decree of the Mosaic law. Her mother brought the scroll, and Raguel drew up the contract, to which they affixed their seals.

Afterward they began to eat and drink. Later Raguel called his wife Edna and said, “My love, prepare the other bedroom and bring the girl there.” She went and made the bed in the room, as she was told, and brought the girl there. After she had cried over her, she wiped away the tears and said: “Be brave, my daughter. May the Lord grant you joy in place of your grief. Courage, my daughter.” Then she left.

When the girl’s parents left the bedroom and closed the door behind them, Tobiah arose from bed and said to his wife, “My love, get up. Let us pray and beg our Lord to have mercy on us and to grant us deliverance.” She got up, and they started to pray and beg that deliverance might be theirs. And they began to say:

    “Blessed are you, O God of our fathers,         praised be your name forever and ever.     Let the heavens and all your creation         praise you forever.     You made Adam and you gave him his wife Eve         to be his help and support;         and from these two the human race descended.     You said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone;         let us make him a partner like himself.’     Now, Lord, you know that I take this wife of mine         not because of lust,         but for a noble purpose.     Call down your mercy on me and on her,         and allow us to live together to a happy old age.”

They said together, “Amen, amen,” and went to bed for the night.

Responsorial Psalm

PS 128:1-2, 3, 4-5

R./ Blessed are those who fear the Lord.

Blessed are you who fear the LORD,     who walk in his ways! For you shall eat the fruit of your handiwork;     Blessed shall you be, and favored. R./ Blessed are those who fear the Lord.

Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine     in the recesses of your home; Your children like olive plants     around your table.  R./ Blessed are those who fear the Lord.

Behold, thus is the man blessed     who fears the LORD. The LORD bless you from Zion:     may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem     all the days of your life.  R./ Blessed are those who fear the Lord.

Gospel

MK 12:35-37

As Jesus was teaching in the temple area he said, “How do the scribes claim that the Christ is the son of David? David himself, inspired by the Holy Spirit, said: The Lord said to my lord, ‘Sit at my right hand until I place your enemies under your feet.’ David himself calls him ‘lord’; so how is he his son?” The great crowd heard this with delight.

[tpanan]

My Sunday Daily Blessings

May 14, 2023

Be still quiet your heart and mind, the LORD is here, loving you talking to you...........        

Sixth Sunday of Easter (Roman Rite Calendar) Lectionary 55

First Reading:  

Acts 8:5-8, 14-17

Responsorial Psalm:

  Ps 66:1-3, 4-5, 6-7, 16, 20

Second Reading:

1 Pt 3:15-18

Verse Before the Gospel:

Jn 14:23

**Gospel:  

Jn 14:15-21

**Reflection:

What makes us both fully human and truly like God? Is it not unconditional love which is unselfish, undying, and wholly directed to the good of others? The love of God unites us in an unbreakable bond of fidelity, friendship, and community with others. Jesus loved his own until the very end of his passion and death on the cross (John 13:1).

The nature of love From the very beginning of creation God said: it is not good that man should be alone (Genesis 2:18). We were created in love for love - to be a community of loving persons, just as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are inseparably united in a community of unbreakable love.

John Henry Newman (1801-1890) said: We love because it is our nature to love, and it is our nature because God the Holy Spirit has made it our nature. Jesus speaks to his disciples of the inseparable bound of love between himself and the Father, and of their love for humankind. In Jesus we see the fulness of God's love and how God's love is directed to our well-being. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might have life through him (1 John 4:9).

Knowing God's love How do we know that God truly loves each one of us? In the cross we see the proof of God's love for each of us and the incredible price God was willing to pay to redeem us from slavery to sin, death, and Satan. Jesus gave up his life that we might have life - abundant, everlasting life with God - a life of love and unity with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit forever.

Through the cross Jesus opened a new way of relationship for us as the adopted sons and daughters of God - his beloved children (Romans 8:14-17). Jesus calls his disciples to walk in his way of love through obedience to the will of the Father. True love is more than sentiment, emotion, or good intention. As important as these may be they are not the proof of sincere love. True love for God is expressed in obedience and obedience is expressed in love.

Jesus' best gift for us Jesus promised to give his followers the best of gifts, the Holy Spirit as their Counselor and Helper. How does the Holy Spirit help us as the counselor? Counselor is a legal term for one who defends someone against an adversary and who guides that person during the ordeal of trial. The Holy Spirit is our Advocate and Helper who guides and strengthens us and brings us safely through the challenges and adversities we must face in this life.

The Holy Spirit is also the Giver of life - the abundant life which comes from God and which sustains us forever. The Holy Spirit also guides us in the way of truth, wisdom, and goodness. We can never stop learning because the Spirit leads us more and more into the knowledge of God's love, truth, and goodness. Jesus also promised his followers the gift of peace. Peace is more than the absence of conflict or trouble. Peace includes everything which makes for our highest good. Trust in God, faith in his promises, and obedience to his word lead us to peace and security in God's presence. That is why a Christian need not fear or be troubled by anything. The love of Christ brings immeasurable joy and consolation even in the midst of our trials and suffering. Paul the Apostle states,

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?... For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:35,38-39).

Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with the knowledge of Christ's immense love and with his gift of peace.

O God, you are the unsearchable abyss of peace, the ineffable sea of love, the fountain of blessings and the bestower of affection, who sends peace to those who receive it. Open to us this day the sea of your love and water us with abundant streams from the riches of your grace and from the most sweet springs of your kindness. Make us children of quietness and heirs of peace; enkindle in us the fire of your love; sow in us your fear; strengthen our weakness by your power; bind us closely to you and to each other in our firm and indissoluble bond of unity. (ancient prayer from Syrian Clementine liturgy)

Sources: 

Lectionary for Mass for use in the Dioceses of the United States, second typical edition, copyright (c) 2001, 1998, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine; Psalm refrain (c) 1968, 1981, 1997, international committee on english in the liturgy, Inc All rights reserved. Neither this work nor any part of it may be reproduced, distributed, performed or displayed in any medium, including electronic or digital, without permission in writing from the copyright owner. 

**Meditations may be freely reprinted for non-commercial use - please cite:  copyright © 2023 Servants of the Word, source:  dailyscripture.net, author Don Schwager.

[seekfirst-community]

The following reflection is courtesy of Don Schwager © 2023. Don's website is located at Dailyscripture.net

Meditation: What is God's intention for the commandment, keep holy the Sabbath (Exodus 20:8; Deuteronomy 5:12)? The scribes and Pharisees wanted to catch Jesus in the act of breaking the Sabbath ritual so they might accuse him of breaking God's law. In a few penetrating words Mark the Evangelist records that Jesus looked at them with anger, and grieved at their hardness of hearts (Mark 3:5).

God's purpose and intention for the Sabbath commandment

The legal scholars and religious-minded Jews were filled with fury and contempt for Jesus because they put their own thoughts of right and wrong above God. They were ensnared in their own legalism because they did not understand or see the purpose of God for the Sabbath commandment (remember the Sabbath day - to keep it holy - Exodus 20:8).. Jesus shows their fallacy by pointing to God's intention for the Sabbath: to do good and to save life rather than to do evil or to destroy life (Mark 3:3).

Commemorating Christ's resurrection and work of redemption on the Lord's Day

Since the time of the first Apostles, Christians have traditionally celebrated Sunday as the Lord's Day (Revelation 1:10; Acts 20:7; Luke 24:30; 1 Corinthians 16:1-2) to worship together around the table of the Lord (the Eucharist or Lord's Supper) and to commemorate God's work of redemption in Jesus Christ and the new work of creation accomplished through Christ's death and resurrection.

Taking "our sabbath rest" is a way of expressing honor to God for all that he has done for us in and through Jesus Christ our Lord and Redeemer. Such "rest" however does not exempt us from our love for our neighbor. If we truly love the Lord above all else, then the love of God will overflow to love of neighbor as well. Do you honor the Lord in the way you celebrate Sunday, the Lord's Day and in the way you treat you neighbor?

"Lord Jesus, in your victory over sin and death on the cross and in your resurrection you give us the assurance of sharing in the eternal rest of heaven. Transform my heart with your love that I may freely serve my neighbor for his good and find joy and refreshment in the celebration of Sunday as the Lord's Day."

The following reflection is from One Bread, One Body courtesy of Presentation Ministries © 2023.

how we became priests

“You are a priest forever, according to the order of Melchizedek.” — Psalm 110:4; Hebrews 7:17

Like almost all peoples throughout history, the Jewish people believed that sacrifice was one of the essential elements for dealing with sin and setting humanity free (see Lv 4:13-14). The person who offers sacrifices to God on behalf of the people is called a priest. Thus, priests are an essential part of God’s plan of salvation. Consequently, because Jesus is the Savior of the world, He must be a priest. For the Jews, all priests descended from the tribe of Levi. Yet Jesus was from the tribe of Judah. How can Jesus be a priest?

In the book of Genesis, we hear about the priest Melchizedek (Gn 14:18-20). He was a priest before there were the tribes of Israel. He was a mysterious figure “without father, mother or ancestry, without beginning of days or end of life” (Heb 7:3). The psalmist prophesied that Melchizedek’s priesthood would continue (Ps 110:4). The writer of the book of Hebrews proclaimed that Jesus is a priest in the order of Melchizedek. Jesus sacrificed Himself on the altar of the cross. He is truly the Savior of the world, and we who are baptized into Him share in His priesthood (see Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1546;1 Pt 2:9; Rv 5:10). Through our Baptism “in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit” (Mt 28:19), we are priests in the order of Melchizedek. Alleluia!

Prayer:  Father, may I live my baptismal priesthood to the full. I offer You my body as a living sacrifice (Rm 12:1).

Promise:  “Then He said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ The man did so and his hand was perfectly restored.” —Mk 3:5

Praise:  “May my mouth speak the praise of the Lord, and may all flesh bless His holy name forever and ever” (Ps 145:21).

Reference:  (For a related teaching on Developing A Deep, Personal Relationship with Jesus, listen to, download or order our CD 52-1 or DVD 52 on our website.)

Rescript:  "In accord with the Code of Canon Law, I hereby grant the Nihil Obstat for the publication One Bread, One Body covering the time period from December 1,2022 through January 31,2023. Reverend Steve J. Angi, Chancellor, Vicar General, Archdiocese of Cincinnati, Cincinnati, Ohio April 12, 2022"

The Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") is a declaration that a book or pamphlet is considered to be free of doctrinal or moral error. It is not implied that those who have granted the Nihil Obstat agree with the contents, opinions, or statements

[koishua]

adding my two cents here. i just want to say that the lack of interaction is not at all new and that it's been there forever. everyone knows that. no matter how often we remind people that creators' efforts shouldn't be overlooked and consumed mindlessly, people won't really change (that easily or quickly). most people here come into the game knowing that they will be putting in their own time and hard work in order to satisfy their own needs (be it escapism, a creative outlet, whatever) or to just be a part of a greater community and connect with like-minded users. they know that others have no obligations to interact with their creations online. they are aware of the risk of burnout and disappointment (despite willingly doing these for free), but it's hard not to expect at least a little something. it's obviously human nature, wanting your works to be liked and well received.

obviously, we would want more interactions, just like you want more content. no one is completely selfless here (no matter how hard you might try to be at first, if you try at all, you still end up wanting people to tell you that they like something you do) and everyone deserves to have their work acknowledged. you can't expect something from creators and have them not expect something back. it's always give and take, like op said, no matter how everyone claims that we do this on our own will.

creators drop like flies once they realize that it's hard to keep creating without the appropriate amount of response back. when you start to read here, you have to come in with the mindset that you wouldn't enjoy your time here without creators (and their valuable works) and creators won't enjoy their time here without you (and your valuable opinions).

in the end, we can only preach so much.

and a ps. to writers here: don't expect much from fandoms with a young age demographic. it's hard to comprehend stuff and why they are important to others when you're barely old enough to start thinking for yourself, so save yourself from the disappointment. kids and teens are notoriously greedy and ungrateful. (not saying that all kids are, but you get what i mean if you rub some braincells together)

i personally can't be bothered much about this topic anymore (it's stressed me out enough in the past), but i know there are some very hopeful and optimistic writers who just want some good time writing and having fun, so don't be sucky and press the darn reblog button (and possibly attach some meme) and get it over with.

edit: oh and hate anons are a whole other issue that i like to laugh at, get a little heated over, and then move on from. it's funny when it's directed at me, but very... como se dice??... not cool..?? when it's directed at other users who really don't deserve it. i see it as a nuisance (at the very most!!), but others who are more susceptible to mean comments may not find them as funny. get over yourselves and take off the clown make-up.

and for the love of everything nice in this world, stop making it a habit to respond to the hate asks if you get them all the time. it's a whole waste of time. everyone knows that they're just miserable, you don't have to make the same "haha funny go get a life" comments again and again. block and forget.

i want to slap this rb on my forehead btw:

PLEASE READ ‼️ important.

okay, so, hi! welcome to anyone who is reading this and thank you for taking your time. i'm writing this rant in behalf of all the content creators out there who feel the same as much as i do in terms with interactions in this app. i don't usually post a rant this long, and i just reblog things that my moots would say regarding with interactions, but look, i don't want to be friendly anymore because it's shitty and brutal around here.

INTERACTIONS

as you can see there are plenty of writers/content creators who are leaving or have left tumblr because of the lack of interactions and the hate they're receiving from some anons who have no life and just way too insecure from someone who achieves a great milestone. (to those anons, please disappear and get a life, we don't need low life assholes like you.) anyway, let's talk about interactions.

based on experience, i get tons of likes from my fic that i barely get reblogs and feedbacks. other users have the guts to spam me without thinking that i'll be shadowbanned. like most of the reblogs and feedbacks i get are from my moots and some beautiful readers i have (which i appreciate btw).

and don't fucking tell me that content creators are being dramatic for ranting out that they don't get interactions. simple, because that's your own doing. note that we don't force you to read our fics or to look at the gifs we made, the digital drawings and other stuff creators make, but if you care about us and get yourself involved with the contents, REBLOG people! or leave a feedback, can be a comment or just say something on the tags. IT WILL BE A BIG HELP reaching out to people. seriously, it only takes a few seconds of your time. empty reblogs are valid too, just interact with the post, okay?

for beginners, likes doesn't really do anything to spread your work, we content creators had to put tags, tag our readers and reblog to get it promoted because without the reblog button and tags our works are like meh. yeah, you can tell me that likes are validating your work, but this is not instagram, facebook and twitter dear, likes boost interactions in those social media platforms but NOT TUMBLR. YOU NEED TO FUCKING REBLOG THE POST. THERE'S A FUCKING REBLOG BUTTON FOR A REASON. can't you see it? or just too lazy to give something in return because you're abusing the fact that everything here is free (unless the content creator is asking you to pay them for tips, donations or payment if you purchase their work). hey, we work for free or with a fee here you know? don't take it for granted, it's your loss when one of your faves leave and never come back. think about it.

if you don't want your blog to be messy, then make a side blog for reblogs? like we always do that so why can't you tho?

see this one? (credits to my lovely moot who shared this with me.)

ARE YOU GUYS EVEN SERIOUS? you guys are nuts. you just take the content for free. give and take, yet you always take and never give.

also, you may think that i'm being an attention seeker or another dramatic writer right here who just wanted interactions and feedbacks that's why i'm writing? hell nah. i write because i want to, but i get hurt when my works get ignored, you read and leave, or read, leave a like, that's it. you don't want me to know how you think about my work? and you know what hurts the most? you're rubbing it to my face that i'm not good enough. not just me, but other content creators as well. you know much we love getting feedbacks and interactions from you guys. other content creators question themselves if is it really worth it to come here and share their work when you can't even reblog and tell us what you think about the fics you've read? okay, it's probably safe to say that we're the problem—i am the problem? no, you guys are the problem.

TO ANONS who send hate.

anons who send death threats and hate, don't you guys have a life? you attack a writer for reaching a milestone, for being dramatic over interactions, for being insecure and for ranting about how they feel? what a low life asshole you guys are. i'm actually happy that some of my moots take you guys as a joke because YOU ARE A JOKE. hey don't get offended, you want it so you get it. idk how much you hate my dearest moots that you guys have the guts to send hate on anon. oh yeah, on anon because you're a fucking coward. why not come at them and prove yourself tho?

instead of spreading positive auras in this community, you're making it trash. why not give them motivation to write and be friends with us? if you're shy get on anon and give us an emoji to recognize you. tf, you guys are so ungrateful and insecure over someone who does what they want. it's their passion and don't tell them to k1ll themselves because it's just so shitty. how come an awful person like you exists? stop that, tumblr doesn't need you guys. and don't come at me tho, i'm just telling the truth. and I CAN'T TAKE THESE FUCKING ISSUES ANYMORE!! spread positivity in this environment instead of being a raging storm that causes chaos to those who are at peace.

TO THE READERS WHO REBLOG AND MY MOOTS

thank you so much for interacting, we appreciate every memes you use, the keyboard smash, the paragraphs, the tags and even empty reblogs. we'd do the same for you when you decide to write or make a different art piece that you're passionate of. because contect creators help each other to be more appreciated! and i am so happy that you guys exist! we are motivated to create because of you guys! i hope you get the goods things you deserve because you are all wonderful and must be taken care off, and we love you all 🩶

and to my moots thank you so much for staying despite the shitty treatment we get, like always. thank you for creating and still interacting! you will get what you deserve someday and i wish you guys to be happy! note that none of these negative things can invalidate you. you guys are creative, and hardworking, so keep up the good work, and i'm happy to have you guys around. 💕

i thank you all for making this community less miserable 🤧✨🤍

and if you happen to read up until here, thank you! please tell me if i had missed something so i can edit this.

[baekhyuneeh]

[nikethestatue]

One of the things I loved about acotar is that the mating bond is so literal, physical, and plays an actual role in the story, I felt it was done in a fairly unique way and it made so much sense for Feysand, both as a couple and as individuals. However I was disappointed/confused as to how nessian’s was revealed to be, like they both just sort of “knew” they had it but I didn’t think it was as literal as a thing as feysand’s… so my question is, how do mating bonds actually work in acotar, are they so broad that they can be either extremely literal or more on the vague gut feeling side? Is there an explanation in the books that I’m forgetting, or is it a gap in the world building?

Oh, SJM and her bonds....

I dont even think she can make sense of them now!

This is MY understanding of the ACOTAR (only) bonds:

They are very ancient, from the primordial times (during the times of the Daglan?) when the Fae were more animal like in form and behavior.

The offering of food comes from back then. A female accepts the bond by offering the male food. Some people make a party out of it, but that's not required.

The origin of the bond is unknown--could be from the Cauldron, from the Mother, or the Cauldron's swirling eddies. (Is the Cauldron's bond more of mimicking of the 'real' bond that comes from the Mother? That's to be determined)

The ultimate reason for a bond is the production of strong/powerful children.

The bonds are primarily sexual in nature, to solidify sexual attraction and therefore, lead to creation of super babies.

Once the bond is accepted and consummated, the 2 parties go into a sexual frenzy for a week.

Once the frenzy subsides, they still maintain an unusually strong sexual pull towards each other.

Males are more attuned to the bond and feel it strongly. They seemingly feel it first, even before it's accepted by the female. They also suffer the pangs of sexual desire more powerfully than the females.

Couples are not necessarily aware of the bond at the same time. Sometimes it 'snaps' for both of them at once, and sometimes, the male knows and the female doesn't.

Sometimes they both feel the pull of the bond, but it hasn't snapped for them (Nessian) for a period of time.

What 'snapping' feels like is unclear.

Some bonds are more sexual in nature and lack emotional attachment (Rhys's parents), others are sexual and emotional and love-based (Feysand).

All mates display what is called 'mate behavior' (regardless of whether the bond has been accepted, or even if they aren't aware of it)--extreme protectiveness of the other party, willingness to die for them, willingness to kill for them, abundant care, etc.

It seems that bound males are not sexually interested in anyone else but their mates. The same does not apply to females (Nesta, Feyre and Elain are both able to have sex and like other males, despite their bonds), until they accept the bond.

Males suffer with an unaccepted bond more than females. It can drive them insane or make them violent (according to Rhys)

A bond can be rejected (unclear what the process is and whether it's a social rejection only, or rejection that actually severs the bond on some kind of molecular/spiritual level).

According to Amren, a mate bond cannot be broken. (Unclear though if all mate bonds cannot be broken, or only very powerful ones like Feysand's)

Even if rejected, both parties will feel the bond forever.

A bond is accepted by the female. It seems like a male has no choice in the matter.

It is consummated with food and sex. (Often, golden strands and music of the souls is involved).

Same sex bonds are possible (Unclear if they are different from other bonds, since they technically cannot produce children)

Bonded couples are considered 'equals' in some manner. (Unclear what that means--because there have been many very unevenly matched couples, namely Rhys's parents).

Good luck figuring it out!

PS I tried to be factual, without adding personal feelings/or theories.

TOG has similar bonds, but we know that in TOG a bond was 'faked' and felt like the real deal, without it being one.

TOG also has carranam bonds, which are bonds of power.

[katerinaaqu]

On it definitely is. Like I said about 90% accurate. There are times they follow the Odyssey almost line for line. They do change things (for example like I said I believe, they place the Laestrygonians before Polyphemus because of budget I would expect for they couldn't make 12 ships for the shots) also they do not show Skylla and Charybdis unfortunately but again my guess goes on budget and their capabilities (it IS 1960s after all no cgi available). They also take some liberties that seem conscious for example the discus competition was focused on a sword fight in Phaeakes Island to show how Odysseus is still absorbed at war and such. But overall I argue is the best Odyssey retelling there is and Bekim Fehmiou is amazing! Quite honest I could never imagine someone topping the classic 1950s version of the Odyssey in the sirens scenes till I saw Fehmiu! The guy just gave it all! And yes both the brief history of the location as well as the Greek theater additions made it amazing! And the way they used amazing chorus singing for the Pylos scene remains in my mind forever!

Well I see it more as a Neverending circle. They start on by wishing to change stuff for the sakes of changing (like I said I feel we changed the word "retelling" so much that we feel that a retelling should be totally unrecognizable when compared to original lol) and then the creators realize that the rest makes no sense so they have no choice but change it more and more. And yes of course feministic ideas and all...tale as old as time now...

Not at all. It's a pleasure. Of course like I said do not hesitate! Sorry it took me so long to answer your last ask by the way.

(Yeah I am not expecting anything now which is why I am not really interested to follow it. I do listen to some songs on occasion because sometimes I get pleasantly surprised like the last moments of "love in paradise" where I went into a "fucking finally!" Mode due to the fact we have had SOMETHING that matches the Odyssey but yeah apart from that I do not expect much... I know it is already warped as you brilliantly stated)

PS: Also oh my goodness I believe I have left out the second part of your initial answer! I am so sorry! I will answer it now!

PREV STUFF=>About Paris the musical, YEAAHH I love Patroclus too <3 it's the first time I see him being represented not as a passive character but as a fighter, which is honeslty so refreshing!! I mean he's a fighter too AND older, people can stop making him the pure innocent guy protected always by Achilles, PLEASE (again, I have a funny feeling Patroclus' character was shaped in the internet view by Madeline's retelling in TSOA)

Also I don't know why they made Odysseu not belive in gods, but what I've gathered in my research, is that technically there's a stage version of Paris in which the events take place In a rlatively modern setting? Which would explain why the gods are pretty much absent in the musical, apart for some very small parts from Aphrodite, amd why many characters question the gods so much. But I can't say for sure because sadly I've not found much information about it.

Also business is one of my favourite songs too!! It's just so fun to listen, and it's exactly for the reason you said, there are many people many interactions, and it's very true to the real thing! Just a man is also a peak choice, I honestly really like this variant of the myth of Astianax, it fits very well for Odysseus! (I personally knew another version which if I remember correctly was introduced to me in high school, in which Andromacae had to give herself as slave in order to save Astianax, but in the end the Greeks killed them both, if I remember correctly, but this one has so much more angst potential for Odysseus, so I'm good haha)

Anyways, after this long as fuck rant (sorry haha) I gotta say that a positive side we can take from the creation of these musicals is the fact that they're spreading the original myths and many are actually reading the Iliad or Odyssey because of them (I'm one of them and I've definetly convinced multiple of my friends ti read the Odyssey haha) and also many creator are mixing the original myth in these stories more and more.

Thanks for answering my questions and satisfying my curiosity! I didn't know that you got targeted because of your opinion on Epic, so I hope that me asking doesn't actually bring more bad attention or anything TwT.

Lastly, I wanted to ask, have you found some modern media about ancient greek myths that you like? And also, if you'd like to talk more about Eurylochus character and why you like I'd be glad to hear! He's one of my favourite characters in Epic, so again, I'm just curious to hear your toughts.

Thanks again for answering me!! ^^

I absolutely agree! Patroclus in Paris the Musical was a masterpiece! The way he has a fighter's atttude is exactly the Patroclus we need! Yes Patroclus was also extremely gentle in the Iliad (so are many other characters) but yes nothing ike this meek things we get in modern day media like TSOA and all (for real though! I mean the kid murdered someone because he lost at a game as a kid! He is NOT some poor innocent baby who wants protection! He is a strong complicated character!)

Like I said on Odysseus my money falls on the fact that usually clever or intelligent characters are portrayed as agnostic in modern day media aka "I have logic and don't believe in these stuff" but yes Odysseus not only was extremely religeous but he also talked to gods in person! I believe that in order to achieve the thing they did they left the gods outside the narrative similarly to the movie "Troy" but yes I think it is the usual stereotype of intelligent characters in media being agnostic.

Yup! I also loved the chaotic feeking of "Business" and they even included the moans of disapproval or nods of approval and the hums in the background making it very realistic indeed Well I am more on the version of Neoptolemus killing the baby instead (which is why I also had some random ideas of Odysseus "taking the blame" in my stories) but yes I really loved that part with the musical (another reason I was disappointed with the rest of it) Really? Don't remember that version. Andromache basically by general agreement she would end up a slave anyways because that was how things were done in ancient greek literature.

As you notice I simply LOVE this kind of long runts myself! Hahahaha! Oh as I said I absolutely agree. If people get inspired to read them I absolutely am about that! (hehehe great!)

It was my pleasure! Hehehe well "being targeted" is a strong word! Hahaha basically like I said I have had my page swarmed with comments or questions like the ones you saw, aka why I cannot see them as different and such. Another outcome that happened to my page which I suspect is related to that is that many commenters and reblogs I had in the past from certain people have stopped because I am openly expressing my dislike to the musical and possibly became disagreeable or annoying to them. Like I used to get reblogs t my stories but not anymore by some people so I suspect that is the reason No worries at all! If there was an issue for me I wouldn't have answered you! ^_^

Oh I believe I have partially answered that but I am open for more!

Oh absolutely I would love to discuss Eurylochus in general from Odyssey till the character development in media! ^_^

Hello!!

Since I've seen that you've listened to both Epic and Paris the musical, I was curious to know what are your toughts on them! Did you like how the myths and characters where handled? What do you like best and worst? (If you'd like to share, what's your favourite song/moment in each?)

Thanks :]

My my you really wanna get me have an even bigger target on my back than the one I put already! Hahaha! Ok so be it! Hahaha If this gets waaaaaay too long or too runty forgive me! ^_^

You have noticed from many of my comments and my notifications, memes or jokes. I am not a fan of EPIC. Not at all. I believe I am one of the most disliked people on Tumblr on mythology matters because I so openly speak my dislike against EPIC and being annoying about it! Hahaha! XD The thing I absolutely love about it is of course the guy's passion with the project, the way the music works and all (undoubtedly the guy is a very talented composer and can combine the scene with music and emotions and the tricks he uses with music are great) but the way the plot of Odyssey was twisted beyond recognition and to the point that to me you can literally change the names of the characters to anything else and still have the story he presents with the Musical. Maybe that was his goal but in my head that is not what a retelling or an adaptation is about. A retelling to me is not something that seeks to change literally as much as possible from the plot to fit the modern standards or the fanbase. A retelling is something as the word says that "retells the story" aka adapts the story as loyally as possible and adapts it to the audinece by taking creative liberties that are still generic to the story as it was originally told so that it will fit more to the modern standards or ear.

I believe we have so much twisted the word "retelling" that nowadays "retelling" seems to be equivalent to "let's change the hell out of the story because the original plot is not even THAT important to be salvaged and no modern person would watch it anyways" which in my opinion is not the case at all. Unless of course one writes satire. Then it doesn't matter, as I mentioned to another ask of mine.

I lost interest and was massively disappointed from the end of second saga and the song "Storm". The first two sagas were a masterpiece. The creative liberties were amazing to make sense with the plot and give the characters motivation (for example "I'm just a man" was FANTASTIC! The way the myth from Iliou Persis that gave us only one phrase "Odysseus kills Astyanax by throwing him off the wall" is now transformed into a marvelous emotional dilemma and a painful decision). In this case the creative liberty work WITH the plot and not against it. I didn't mind it as much that they made Polites a fluffy guy for no reason to fit that stereotypical "innocence of the team" plot because Polites is a clean slate character in Odyssey. However after Storm I started seeing your typical "Hollywood film 'adaptation' logic with changing stuff at the plot". I was intrigued at how they decided to give Polyphemus an excuse to kill like the guys enter a cave that is obviously habitable and kill an animal that is obviously domesticated and they do not know someone lives there? In the original it was clear someone lived there which made Odysseus curious to interract with them. I was willing to ignore that because ok creative liberties but then Athena was there!? And she gave Odysseus every opportunity to kill him while Odysseus was just "TOO NICE?!" like since when? Odysseus was all about killing him but he had no guarantee he would plus he needed him to open the cave. And the way he revealed his name in the musical was so rush and almost "out of spite" for Athena not a result of a secclusion in a cave for days and days and then his pride speaking up when Polyphemus called him a coward (which I tried to capture to my fic, not sure if I succeeded but still). So anyways at that point I was sure we wouldn't see the last of it with the changes. Poseidon destroys the ships instead of the Laestrygonians (no surprise there, rarely ever see anyone even mention the Laestrygonians yet alone show their contribution to the Odyssey) but then Circe happened and I just knew that we would have to derail from the original more and more

Circe's role was incredibly diminished for the sakes of making her actions more mellow and pass the message of loyalty and kindness. Circe in the original gives Odysseus valid information for his trip provisions and much more. In Epic not only we do not see the importance of Odysseus selling himself to Circe and we have Circe for some reason seducing him to kill him (removing her humanity from when she got scared that her magic won't work on him, potentially thinking he is some kind of god, begging for her safety to then suggesting her bed as Hermes predicts) I mean she had lions and wolves to her disposal she doesn't need to seduce him to kill him. Then of course Jorge realized that a big chunk of plot is missing and so he made Odysseus find out about Skylla by the sirens?! Like...okay... Even Tiresias gives him almost nothing (in the original he also tells him how to break the curse) Which seems interesting how Odysseus breaks down with "Monster" in Tiresias when he has received an act of kindess before. Wouldn't it be more amazing if he had that breakdown AFTER he paid the price with Circe with his own body? That even kindess has a terrible price? Of course the most iconic scene of the Odyssey after the murder of the suitors and Cyclops, the Sirens were twisted to whatever we had there; Odysseus listening to their song was of massive importance to his natural curiocity and we didn't get that (not to mention how would the sirens spell work on him and have Penelope there if he didn't hear their song in the first place?) and of course the fact that he kills them?! Like...how that even works I have no idea and like in the original people were running for their lives. Didn't even look back. Apparently they had all the time in the world to capture them, they knew apparently exactly how many they were and then they kill them?! Like I won't even say that they used the medieval mermaid instead of the sirens and then they "leave them drown" (how you drown fish people is beyond me! Maybe they are sharks that need to keep moving lol) and of course again that scene seemed to me that it was there only to show that "Odysseus is a monster" which makes no sense Odyssey-wise for many reasons. and then of course again Skylla; Odysseus doesn't gear up to protect his men, he is the one who chooses the sacrifice out of spite etc etc

Many others got sped up like the Helios cattle but ok I guess that is expected up to one point even if it could be handled differently but of course then we have also Zeus being a jerk and again making Odysseus choose? The storm that took the lives of his men was a natural consequence, not some twisted thing to prove how "monstrous" Odysseus is. In fact Odysseus tried till the last moment to sail away and save the lives he could (see my other analysis here) and of course again as many people said on God Games and all how Zeus was twisted yet another time although in Odyssey he had zero reasons to object apart from the natural hubris nemesis sequence. He never called Odysseus "shameful" either. In fact he says he agrees with Athena that calls him the most pious.

I think the massive change that I believe is abused by modern retellings is the whole "monster to man" trope. Odysseus losing his moral compass and "becoming the monster" and the plot around revolving to it. That was never the pont of Odyssey in my opinion. Odysseus never really lost his moral compass it is just his morality was not all pure and lovey in the first place. Was he changed by his experiences to be more ruthless in general? Absolutely but he was never changed to a monster according to Homeric version (because post-homeric versions already treat him as a villain from the get-go)

As for the things I liked about it, I had made a post you can see here:

I do love the harmonies and the music in it and I love the passion and the talents of the people in it. It is just that the whole plot for me is just not it. Also maybe I am also mostly annoyed with how the "fandom logic" has taken over it. Like internet getting swarmed by it. Epic quotes or facts getting literally mixed up or associated with the original or the fact we can no longer speak on the original unless someone brings up Epic the Musical... This annoys me to no ends. Of course I recognize the passion of the fans of the musical. Is just a personal thing to me. I felt the same when people were using Percy Jackson or Miller's books to talk on mythology before. Is the same here.

Of course I need to say this all the above is my PERSONAL OPINION. I have literally NOTHING against people who love the musical and the original equally. I am just NOT one of them. Also i have nothing against the artist either. I just do not agree with his outtake. Still appreciate his hard work. However when I saw the firsttwo sagas I knew this guy KNEW his mythology which is why I feel so disappointed that his later sagas felt like "Hmm...let me use that knowledge I definitely have on Odyssey just to change the hell out of it!" And that had me very sad and lowkey annoyed because I think this guy had some real stuff to create an actual Odyssey adaptation and yet again we had your average hollywood film plot where you barely see any of the plot he ellegedly adapts

Now on Paris the Musical I had answered another ask you can see here

I will not take more space on this already huge and runty post that probably made me more annoying and irritating around Tumblr! XD Generally again has little to nothing to do with Iliad but I loved the music (it was arguably one of the most original choices for music for a musical) and the songs I mention to the ask. Apart from that I am ot ecstatic by it either (arguably stage musicals do not seem to work for me when it comes to the ancient classics to a large degree because of how much the plots need to be overly simplified to fit the time frame) but I am more happy that it din't get blasted out of proportions like Epic was so the plot of it doesn't even need to be pointed out that it is not accurate and all. It is self-evident. The fact that the creator of Epic needed to "warn the fans" on how inaccurate his work is, speaks volumes to me.

I will close this runt now because is already too long. I think both Epic and Paris musicals have little to nothing to do with the things they adapt but Ironically Paris the Musical changed less stuff than Epic in comparison to magnitude. Both are passionate projects with great potential and very good music but plot wise I am not anymore surprised that they do not follow the actual plots or character developments. I am surprised that Epic was more accurate to the character development of Eurylochus than the main protagonist Odysseus! Made me focus more on Eurylochus than Odysseus! Hahaha!

I am glad that the musicals make more people willing to read the originals though. For that I am grateful.

And if I have to pick one song from each musical I would say "Just a Man" and "Business" respectably but of course I like others as well especially from Epic such as "Horse and the Infant", "Will of the gods" and "Storm".

I hope this answers your questions! I will elaborate further on some of the points I make here if you want! ^_^

[rpd-rookie]

The One Who Runs Away, The One Who Runs Back (Leon S. Kennedy x Reader)

Author’s note: This is a sequel to “A PAST WITH HER, A FUTURE WITH YOU” and the end of my three-parts fan fiction "I TRUSTED YOU WITH MY HEART" I decided to write after so many of you asked for it. Sorry it took so long but I was navigating from one fandom to another. (BTW, if there are any Devil May Cry fans up here, you can read my DMC fan fictions here) PS: Even if I said it before, I have no hate whatsoever towards Ada or Aeon.

Tagged: Angst, Fluff, Romance, Post-Break up, Sexual Content 

Part 1 / Part 2

***

Do you remember? We started this story by quoting some sitcom character that was clueless about love. Well, here’s a suggestion. Why not ending it by quoting someone who knew a little more on such matter.

William Shakespeare - you know that English dude expert on tragic ‘drink this poison, stab yourself’ kind of love - apparently once said ‘Love runs away from those chasing her, and those who run away, she throws herself on his neck’. I say ‘apparently’ cause, even though I have a master in English lit, this quote is from the internet, and also … who knows what the guy truly said?

But it’s the quote that’s important. Not the author. The quote it’s important because it sums up perfectly how this story is gonna end. However, before starting, let me tell you this quote is going to be the only Shakespeare-worthy sentence in this final chapter. You’ve been warned.

Love runs away from those chasing her.          Well, this part was definitely written for someone like Ada Wong. Owner of countless gold medals and possibly a world record at this point, that woman is basically the Usain Bolt of the ‘Running from Leon S. Kennedy’ competition. Unchallenged winner since the creation of this sultry version of cat and mouse game, it’s better not to think about the number of times she successfully ran away from her favourite agent.  But this year, this formidable titleholder in a gorgeous red dress will have to face her Nemesis in the championship. You. Though the comparison to the hideous bio-organic killing machine might not be very complimentary to you but you get the idea.  This year you enter the Kennedy Olympics. And this year you run like Sonic the Hedgehog and you win the damn competition (screw you Usain Bold!). And you do this with your head high and without an ounce of regret. Ignore all the texts and flowers Leon might send on your track Mario Kart style. His gifts are not as slippery as banana peels and they can easily be dodged, I promise. Well, most of the time, when you’re not lying on your bed in the middle of the night crying and sobbing while reading his messages or playing his voice in your voicemail again and again until you’re nothing more but a giant mess with puffy red eyes drowning in a puddle of your own tears.        Screw those messages too! And screw his broken yet terribly sexy voice as well!

Being a man of word, Leon kept his promise. And for months you kept on running peacefully, marathoning away from this past relationship that had destroyed you like no other before while tranquilly fixing your broken heart on the way. That run was a good cardio.

But sometimes, cardio is not enough, and even just the small sight of an overpriced whisky bottle or the smell of Leon’s perfume on some guy’s clothes is enough to reopen your wounds.           And when it happens, you always do the same thing, you break the damn bottle - and run cause damn! it’s expensive! -  or you tell the guy his perfume smells like cheap cologne and that he should definitely change it, which is an improvement on your past destructive behaviour, since there was a time shortly after the break up when you would have simply dragged the guy to your place to let him fuck you senseless while imagining he was Leon. All that just for the illusion to feel him again and for the sake to kick him out the next morning, screaming like a hysterical psycho.

So imagine, for a small second, the wave of intense feelings surging out of your healing heart when, in the middle of a cafe, you hear some dude sitting behind you ordering Leon’s favourite whisky while wearing the same bloody perfume. “It’s got to be relentless persecution at that point!” You sigh, already annoyed, closing your book more violently than intended. Hope you’re ready, stranger! Because you’re not in the mood to deal with this right now.            You turn around with a fake smile that reflects perfectly your irritation, ready to give him hell, your sharpest riposte already burning your tongue. After all, he deserves it and you can’t help it.         But when you meet familiar – and freaking gorgeous - baby blue eyes you freeze and stare, suddenly confused and lost and refusing to believe that in spite of the intense running, love just jumped at your neck after all and it was sitting there, taking the shape of Leon S(tupid) Kennedy.

You should have stood up and left, run for your life, run for your heart. And yet, you didn’t.    You stayed there staring at him looking at you, allowing all your memories, the good ones and the bad ones, all your buried feelings to come back from the dead, embracing them as if you had missed them, which, let’s be honest, you probably had.            You tried to scream to yourself “Come on, Y/N! Shake a leg!” but it seemed that what you brain understood was something like “Cum on him! Open your legs!” as a couple of blurry hours later, you were on Leon’s bed, legs wide open, screaming his name and begging him not to stop his amazing thrusts.

Six months, you ran for six months … Well, looks like the run ends here and now. After a minute-long deep stare, an afternoon of amazing sex and two hours long of something blurry in between.

“I missed you.” And there you were! The moment all couples that broke up have after one of them (in this case Leon with the infamous ‘I missed you line’) starts to believe they miraculously rekindled their love. The fatal post-coital cuddling session that you don’t know how to react to, as you think of all the possibilities before you.      Possibility Number 1) You tell Leon you missed him too and cuddle, enjoying that embrace you secretly yearned for months. But that includes forgetting what he has done or pretending that nothing happened.     Possibility Number 2) You push him away, get dressed, leave again and act as if this afternoon never happened. But if Leon doesn’t remind you of it, the ache between your legs will, that’s for sure!   Possibility Number 3) You jump him again until you sore even more and hope that you’ll be able to leave afterwards.         Frankly, all possibilities suck because, in all cases, it seems like you lose. Since,       with Possibility Number 1) you lose the run forever, with Possibility Number 2) you lose him again and with Possibility Number 3) well it’s result 1 or 2 + your body aching like crazy for days. I suck at math but no need to be Einstein to know the result of this calculation looks unpleasant.    So what do you choose?

You see a triangular dice rolling in your head, showing a never-ending succession of 1, 2 and 3 that doesn’t make any sense and that confuse you even more than you already are. 1, 2, 3, 2, 1, 3, 2 ! Oh for fuck’s sake!

You grimace, angry and pissed at Leon and probably even more at yourself, and finally leaves his bed and his strong warm arms, feeling the tears furiously forming in your eyes. “I can’t” You can’t look at him in the eyes. You don’t want to see his confusion, don’t want to see his pain as he witnesses all his hopes shatter to pieces.         “ What do you mean?” You can hear the sheets crease behind you, alerting you of Leon’s agitation, so you hurry and pick up all your clothes scattered in his room. You must leave, now. 2! 2 it is!  “This! All This! This afternoon never happened.” You tell him, putting on your clothes with sudden clumsy and trembling hands, not caring if your bra is correctly hooked or if you put your shirt on back to front. Your heart. You have to think of your poor heart first.          “Hey, hey, hey.” You feel Leon’s hand softly grabbing your arms and you let go of whatever you were holding right now. His voice is sweet and trying to be comforting. Don’t look at him Y/N! Don’t look at him! “Look at me.” You do. Damn it! And you see his gorgeous blue eyes staring at you, studying your flustered face and the tears slowly drowning your (colour) look. You missed those eyes. You missed them so.damn.much ! As much as you missed his hands cupping your face and his thumbs wiping up your tears. God! How many tears those thumbs have missed recently. “It’s alright.”

You want to believe him. You really do. But there is this voice screaming in your head and very clearly this time. A voice shouting, forcing you to remember that night, that awful nightmarish night, the one when you felt your heart break and your dreams turn to ashes. All that because of him and his obsession for her.

“No, it’s not alright, Leon.” You shake your head and miraculously manage to take a small step back. You never thought you could. But you had to. You can’t stay close to him. You can’t let him touch you, feel you. Not if you want to run away. And you have to run away. Like her! Like Ada. Ada! “I told you. For as long as you have feelings for Ada, I can’t … we can’t…”     “Please don’t talk about her.” He begs and rubs his hand over his face. Is he trying to chase her away from his mind? Is she still in here? Please, let her not be in here.    ��But she’s the reason we’re in this situation now. She’s the reason why we’re in this mess.” You insist only for the sake to see his reaction when you mention Ada, to see if she’s still under his skin, somewhere. “Ada is not the reason. I am!” Leon corrects you, a finger directed at his heavy chest as he is putting the full blame on himself for the first time since that night. “I am the one who went after Ada when I shouldn’t have! I am the reason why we broke up! I am the reason why we are so miserable!”         “But I was fine!” You shouted back in an attempt to show him he was wrong refusing to listen to that part of you who knew he was completely right. You were miserable without him. “I was doing fine until you came back and fucked everything up! I was healing goddamnit!”             You felt new tears rolling along your red cheeks and quickly wipe them off with the back of your hand that felt so callous and rough in comparison to Leon’s gentle touch. “You can’t just jump back into my life like this and expect me to forget!”

Leon nods, agreeing with you in a certain way. But the truth is, he doesn’t want you to forget. He doesn’t expect you to erase his mistake. He just wants you to forgive him … No, he just wants you to come back to him. Period. And that’s got to be what you want to. It has to!   “So why did you have sex with me, huh?” He finally asks even though he already knows your answer. “Tell me!” You’re not the kind of person who has meaningless sex, not the kind of person who worships one’s body with divine kisses and devoted caresses if they mean nothing. “Why did you have sex with me?” And yet the answer he wishes to hear doesn’t come out. “For fuck’s sake Y/N! Answer me! Why?” He shouts making you shiver and cry even more.    “Because I LOVE YOU!” You finally scream. And it hurts. It hurts but it feels good too. Like a weight lifted off your chest. “Because I missed you too! Because those months without you have been terrible! Because I don’t know how to handle even just the thought of you or the sound of your voice in my voicemail. Because each time I see something that makes me think of you, I’m a mess and I do things that normal me would never do! You fucked me up, Leon! You fucked me up but I love you! And I hate to love you!” You grunt in pain and relief, enraged but happy that you finally let everything out. And Leon listens in silence, frozen by your powerful honest confession. But he doesn’t know how to react. He doesn’t know what to say. Part of him is overjoyed, ecstatic that you still love him but there is another part that just feels terrible, sorry for the pain your love for him caused you even in his absence.   “But you see—“ You continue “That’s the problem in our relationship, Leon! I love you in ways that are so intense, that go beyond sanity. And you love me by half.”    You see him crumple, his horrified face looking suddenly very pale as if he had just heard some dreadful news. Is that really how you feel? Is that how you see his love for you? Is that what he has made you believe?         “Goodbye Leon.”

With the full intention to leave Leon’s place for good and never come back, you grab you bag on your way out of the bedroom while carelessly shoving your underwear inside of it since you forgot to put them on in the midst of panic and precipitation. Get out of here, Y/N! Now! A reasonable voice encourages you. Listen to me!    But this not what Leon wants.

“I never loved you by half.” He declares and you abruptly stop, asking God if he’s some kind of sadist that loves seeing you in pain from the comfort of his divine sofa somewhere in heaven. “Never.” But it’s not God and his sadism that makes you turn around. It’s you, and your masochist love for that blue-eyed man before you.     “I don’t believe you” Your voice almost doesn’t leave your throat as you try not to sob.           “But it’s the truth.” He says with a calm soothing voice as he slowly approaches you. “I never imagined my future with Ada. I never wished to grow old with her or build a home with her.” You want to tell Leon to stop talking, to stay where he is but your body doesn’t seem to respond. And when you feel him grabbing your hands in his and the comforting warmth that goes with that simple touch, you know that leaving is now an almost impossible task. “Yes. I admit it. My feelings for her were real.” Even when his honesty hurts you, you don’t know how to leave anymore. “But they were nothing in comparison to what I feel for you.”     You try to let go, pulling your hands away from his loving grip but he holds you back. And you’re not strong enough. Or maybe, you just don’t want to be strong. Everything is so confusing. Everything is tearing you apart.     “But they’re still here, aren’t they?” You question, hoping his answer might give you a clue, might give you the strength to make the correct decision. Do you leave? Or do you stay? “And they’ll keep coming back each she goes back into your life. You can’t let go of her.”    “You’re maybe right.” His words hurt you more than you thought they would. They hurt like hell because you realise there are not the ones you wanted to hear. You wanted to hear him say that he would let go of Ada, for good, for you. You wanted to hear that because deep down … YOU WANTED TO FUCKING STAY! “But can you let go of your past?” He continues and you shake your head refusing to hear any other word coming out of Leon’s mouth.       “Don’t!” You beg, weary.           “No! Listen to me this time. Ada is my past, Y/N. She’s my past. And you … you’re my future. You’re my life, damn it!” He doesn’t cry but you don’t need his tears to sense how emotional and how honest he is. And suddenly, you just want to listen to him. “And I was a fool not to see it sooner. When you left me, I felt a void I had never felt in my entire life. I felt like a part of me was missing. And then, the bombing in Washington happened, and it was like I had nothing left. I needed you. I wanted you. You. Not Ada.”      “Leon” You whisper and he cups your face again, blue eyes staring deep into yours, allowing you to see everything in him, his strong love for you and all the weaknesses he hated to admit. “It was you in my mind. Only you. And it will always be you. Because I love you. Now. Today. And I will always love you.”

You cry even more, uncertain if those tears are tears of sorrow, tears of joy or a mix of both. God, how can your emotions be such a mess right now? How can you be wishing to shout at him with all the anger you’ve accumulated and, at the same time, willing to kiss him with all love you’ve got?

“If you got to believe something. Believe that. And if that’s not enough and you think you can be happy with someone else. Then go. I won’t hold you back.” You frown. He is fucking lying. You’re sure of it. “You can’t stop running after me and you know it.” He smiles and scoffs, sensing that hint of sudden defiance in your tone he enjoys a lot.  “True. I can’t sop running after you. But I’ll do my best not to catch you if that’s what you want. But you got to tell me. Is that what you truly want?” You don’t reply. Truth is, you’re not sure what to say not because you’re not sure that’s what you want but because you’re not sure you can trust him if you let him in again.                        “No.” You whisper. “No, that’s not what I want. I want you. All of you.” You can see Leon struggle to contain his growing joy as it starts to glimmer brighter and brighter in his irises. He doesn’t want to cry victory just yet. He is cautious and rightfully so. “But can I?”        “Want me?” He smiles. “ Have you completely?” You correct, searching for a promise in his eyes, one you hope, you wish he would not break this time.     “Trust me with your heart again and find out.”

This better not hurt this time…