#this is literally what gothic horror is about in the first place...

[joculine]

"incest and child abuse are so horrible, don't even talk about it. if you bring it up, there must be something wrong with you" -> words spoken to artists trying to work through and bring awareness to their own experiences and bring light to a very real thing that happens to very real people.

[idkdudethisisntpermanent]

Elixir

wednesday addams x female reader

part i | part ii

summary: What happens when your best friend's roommate who you're always at odds with, suddenly becomes uncharacteristically affectionate towards you? Just what was in that mysterious bottle that set everything into motion?

word count: 1.9k

a/n: I've made a taglist! If you want to join, refer to this post

————

Friday nights at Nevermore Academy held different meanings for different students.  Some gathered for the Vampire Book Club, an all exclusive group that spent their evenings immersed in gothic horror novels.  Others were part of the secret society, kicking off the weekend by leaving cryptic messages and riddles around the school in search of their next recruit.  And then there were those fortunate enough to be welcomed home by their parents for the weekend.

But for you, Friday nights meant something different. You had no interest in secret clubs or cryptic hunts. Instead, you chose to spend the weekend cozied up with Enid for a movie marathon.

With a grin, the werewolf-in-training held up two DVDs, one in each hand. "Okay, we've got 10 Things I Hate About You and When Harry Met Sally."

You point to the hand holding the first film and Enid squeals excited to begin your long awaited movie night. It's been difficult finding a time where you both could commit to a long task like watching a movie without Wednesday getting in the way.

It wasn't that Wednesday particularly got in the way of these activities, but you both did. You two would inevitably clash when put in the same room together and be at each others throats until you were separated by some brave soul (most of the time Enid).

"Are you sure we won't be interrupted?" You ask as Enid climbed into the bed.  "I don't want to get my hopes up, and believe that I can actually have a moment of peace in your room," you added, recalling all the times you've stormed out of this very room due to Wednesday.

Enid bumps into her drawer as she climbs into bed and almost knocks off a glass bottle with a bulbous base, fortunately you were able to grab ahold of the dresser leg in time and stabilize the furniture before the glass bottle filled with liquid could fall.

"I should probably put this somewhere safer," Enid says grabbing the glass and walking it over to Wednesday's side of the room and placing it on her desk. "And yes Y/n, I've quadrupled checked.  She should be in the car by now, heading home.  Her mom was really insistent on her visiting this weekend, so she had no choice." Once Enid and you cozy up together in her bed and turn all the lights off, you hit play and the movie begins.

"Wednesday will literally deep cleanse this room if she found out we're watching rom coms in it," you laugh as Heath Ledger makes his appearance on screen.

Enid giggles, "Sometimes I think she's a secret romance lover, recently I found out she knew the plot to Clueless."

"No way!  I wonder what critiques she has about that film," you muse sarcastically. "She definitely had to feel some type of way about that yellow outfit."

Enid hums and you notice that she's now engrossed in the film.  Taking the cue, you focused on the screen as well, ready to enjoy your peaceful night together.

Only thing was, you couldn't.

As the film continues, all you can think about was how relieved you are that Wednesday isn't here.  How you don't have to listen to the incessant click-clack of her stupid type writer.  How you don't have to endure her cold, calculating gaze that always seems to dissect your every word and action, and especially how you don't have to listen to her sharp and cutting remarks that always seem to find their mark.

At some point during the movie Enid notices that you were not present and paused the film.  "Okay what's on your mind?"

Absentmindedly not registering her question, you respond, "Wednesday." Your eyes go wide, "Wait! I meant-"

She smirks, "You know Y/n/n, for someone who hates her, you bring her up an awful lot.

You scramble at Enid's statement. What was that supposed to mean? "She's just frustrating you know? Get's under my skin, obviously I'm gonna bring her up."

Wednesday suddenly enters the room following your explanation, and sits at her desk without a word. Then after a minute she speaks, "It's gratifying to know that my efforts have left the desired impact."

You didn't care that Wednesday walked in on you complaining about her however you did care that Wednesday walked in.

You give Enid a look, "I thought she wasn't supposed to be here."  The blue-eyed girl holds her hands up in defense, "She wasn't! I swear she was supposed to be back Monday morning."

She then turns to her roommate and asks, "Wens, what are you doing here? I thought your mom wanted to see you?"

"Something came up," the unconventional girl replies short, not explaining any further.

Enid knew that was the only explanation her roommate would give, and there was no point questioning any further. You however did not care, and narrowed your eyes at Wednesday. "Something came up?" That's all you're going to say? You're just going to crash our night with no explanation?"

Wednesday raises an eyebrow, her voice cool and detached. "I wasn't aware I needed your permission to be in my own room."

"You know that's not what I'm saying," you snap back, frustration bubbling up. "You always do this—just show up and take over, like no one else matters. We had plans, Wednesday."

"And now you have new plans," she replies evenly, not a trace of guilt or concern in her voice. "Plans that include me."

You let out a groan. "But that's your problem, you can't just conform to our plans. You always give Enid and I shit for the things we want to do and we always end up catering to your needs. This is exactly why we can't get along. You never consider anyone else's feelings. It's always about you, your needs, your twisted games."

Wednesday's gaze narrows, and her tone turns icier. "If you can't handle a simple change in plans, that's your weakness, not mine. My presence shouldn't be so disruptive unless you're letting it be."

Letting it be?! You couldn't just let this dark kooky girl think that she has some sort of effect on you.

"Oh, don't flatter yourself, Wednesday," you retort, standing your ground. "Your presence isn't 'disruptive' because I'm weak, it's disruptive because you deliberately make it that way. You thrive on pushing people's buttons, and I'm not about to give you the satisfaction."

Wednesday's expression remains unchanged, but there's a flicker of something in her eyes—amusement? "Is that so? Then why are you so bothered by it?  If I truly had no effect on you, you wouldn't even be arguing with me right now."

You clench your fists, struggling to maintain your composure. "Maybe I'm bothered because I care about Enid, and you're always in the way. Maybe I'm just sick of you making everything about yourself!"

Wednesday's eyes narrow further, and her voice drops to a whisper.  "You care about Enid, yet you argue with me, knowing it will disturb her. Perhaps you should examine your true motivations, because from where I stand, it seems you're more interested in clashing with me than in protecting her peace."

You scoff, "I don't know what you're implying." Behind your cool nonchalant front you were panicking, worried that Wednesday will say something that you did not want to hear.

You glance over at Enid who is picking at her nails, calculating the perfect time to break you and Wednesday up without getting hit in the crossfire.

"I'm sorry Enid," you say genuinely. As much as you hate to admit it, Wednesday was right, you're a hypocrite. You know how much it bothers Enid when you and Wednesday fought, yet you always find yourself caught up in these verbal battles with her.

Giving Wednesday one last glare, you storm out of the dorm room not knowing where exactly you're headed. All you know is that you're done with the movie night—and done with Wednesday.

As you march down the hallway, footsteps echoing behind you catch your attention. You don't slow down, but you know exactly who it is before she even calls out to you.

"Y/n, wait!" Enid's voice rings out, filled with concern. You sigh, your pace slowing down automatically.

Enid catches up to you, and grabs onto your arm incase you decide to storm off again. "Please talk to me, I know you're upset."

You find your frustration start to crumble as you sense the concern in your friend's eyes. "I don't know Enid," you begin, your voice quiet. "It's like every time I'm around her, I get so worked up. And tonight, I just couldn't take it anymore. I'm so tired of feeling like this, I'm just constantly on edge around her."

Enid carefully listens, her expressions softening with empathy as you speak. "I get it Y/n. But you don't always have to fight her. Sometimes walking away is the best thing you can do for yourself and for her."

You nod, understanding where Enid was coming from. "You're right, I guess it's just hard when she knows exactly how to get under my skin. And tonight when she accused me of arguing with her for some other reason, like it was something I wanted. It just got to me." You finish in a whisper.

"She has a way of getting to everyone, but that doesn't mean you have to let it affect you so much. You've got to take care of yourself too." She smiles gently.

"Yeah, you're right." As you look at Enid, you can see the worry in her eyes, not just for you, but for Wednesday too. You get it. Wednesday is her friend as well, and even though she came running after you, she's probably also concerned about how Wednesday's handling things. Not that anything in this world could really faze her, but still, Enid cares.

You sigh dreading your next words, "Go." Enid quirks her head to the right like a puppy. "Let's go back to your dorm, I have to grab my bag anyways, and... you should check on her."

Enid smiles in relief and gives you a quick hug before you stroll on back to the dorm room of the polar opposite girls.

As you approach the door a sense of unease starts to creep in, but you push it aside. You probably just didn't want to face Wednesday after your heated exchange.

When you open the door, the sight that greets you is... off. Wednesday is sitting at her desk, but something about her looks strange— her normally sharp posture seems a bit more relaxed, and her gaze, usually piercing, is unfocused, almost dreamy.

Before you can fully process this, you hear a soft rolling sound, and your eyes dart down to see Thing, casually pushing the glass bottle that Enid almost knocked over from earlier. It stops right at your feet. You pick it up, turning it in your hands. It's empty.

A chill runs down your spine as realization dawns on you. Wednesday drank whatever was in this bottle.

Enid steps closer, noticing your frozen expression and the empty bottle in your hand. Her eyes widen in alarm, quickly shifting to Wednesday, who now seems to be gazing at you with an intensity that's entirely different from her usual cold demeanor.

"Wednesday?" Enid's voice is hesitant, as if she's afraid of what the answer might be.

Wednesday stands up slowly, her movements uncharacteristically casual. She steps toward you, her eyes locking onto yours, and for a moment, it feels like the air in the room has shifted.

"I'm glad you're back," Wednesday says softly, her voice carrying a warmth that catches you completely off guard.  "I was just thinking... how much better this night would be if you stayed."

Your heart skips a beat for reasons you do not know the answer to yourself. You exchange a bewildered glance with Enid, something is definitely not right.

The room falls silent, the tension thick as you both realize that Friday night just took an unexpected turn. Looks like your movie marathon will have to wait.

next chapter

[darklinaforever]

First picture :

Second picture :

The first person is aware that Lydia could remove the files from her mouth at any time? Literally, she takes them off on her own to talk when she gets tired of them! Beetlejuice is a very powerful fucking demon, if he wanted to completely silence Lydia he could and would have done so. However, he didn't do it. I'm tired of seeing people make this situation worse when in reality it's not as restrictive as it seems.

Same with the baby's delusion, which yes, is admittedly very disturbing at first and the only real reprehensible thing that Beetlejuice does to Lydia in this film in my opinion (because with the song that is played at their wedding ceremony and the how easily he lets Lydia send him away (I'm sure he wasn't really planning on marrying her this time). But then again, he didn't actually get Lydia pregnant ! And she didn't really give birth to his demonic child either ! And she seems to get over that weird, disgusting prank made by Beetlejuice pretty quickly.

Also, I don't know why but I never had the impression that Beetlejuice had traumatized Lydia in the first film as an attempt to affirm these people, particularly the second.

Literally, she doesn't seem to have any after-effects in the first film, and the sequel proves it even more. At what point in her scenes with Beetlejuice himself does Lydia seem to be truly afraid of him or particularly traumatized by him ? And I'm talking about the scenes where she is with him in the flesh. Because the moments when she thinks she's hallucinating his presence, it's logical that she panics. But no, she never seems terrified of Beetlejuice himself.

Not even at the famous wedding, contrary to what the second person says. This is bullshit.

The scenes where Beetlejuice makes declarations to Lydia like the serenade or the marriage, she doesn't seem disgusted (except when he throws his heart in her hands and that's somewhat normal) or terrified, or both.

She just has a face that generally says : Wtf ? Because the situation is WTF ! This wedding scene is not at all portrayed as creepy in the first place !

Frankly, it's bad form to say the opposite for me ! It’s deliberately turning a blind eye. Beetlejuice is a horror comedy, these scenes are above all funny with touches of bizarre and gothic !

The actors love their characters together, including Winona who totally ships them. To say that she played her character as being terrified of Beetlejuice is bullshit.

And even if his acting was out of step with the script, that's not the case. Because once again, Lydia is not traumatized by Beetlejuice even through writing.

Aside from the fact that Lydia doesn't want to say Beetlejuice's name to avoid screwing up her life again (and we understand), there is nothing that indicates a real fear of Beetlejuice, the individual, in her !

And no, Lydia does not have any trauma that caused her to hallucinate the Beetlejuice presence. We know it, we see it, Beetlejuice does this on his own, so when Lydia sees him it's real. These are not hallucinations resulting from trauma at all !

Yes, Beetlejuice is problematic, obviously he's a demon ! Yes, Beetlebabes also has problematic aspects, obviously since once again Beetlejuice is a demon !

(That's literally the whole appeal of this ship between these two... Nobody likes Beetlebabes because it's a healthy relationship !)

But I'm tired of people trying to make it worse than it is.

In this sequel, Beetlejuice literally saved Astrid, Lydia's daughter, and he also saved her from marrying a complete asshole !

Not only that, but the way he pursues Lydia, or courts her if you prefer, isn't really cringeworthy.

He helps her save her daughter. Saves her from a bad marriage. He plays the serenade. Gives her a hand kiss. Is ready to accept Astrid as his child. Offers her his beating heart (yuck), etc. Frankly, it's a good overall approach for me !

And even if it's frankly not cool to haunt her in recent years, the film suggests to us that it's really due to a connection between the two characters. So that balances it out a bit.

Frankly, the antis greatly exaggerate the issues of ship Beetlebabes and the character of Beetlejuice.

It's like those who say he's a pedophile, when he only seeks to marry Lydia for convenience in the first film, not because he has feelings for her. Plus people seem to forget that Beetlejuice comes from an era where girls generally married at the age Lydia was in the first film...

But hey. Really thinking about these is a bit hard obviously for the antis.

And I'm not even going to bother talking about those (like this second person) who think Beetlejuice having a picture of Lydia from the first movie on his desk is creepy...

[nightingale2004]

Severus Snape headcanon ideas

He has a journal that was gifted to him by his mother before he went to Hogwarts.

He writes everything in that journal. His thoughts, his feelings, ideas for potions, and spells, along with poetry. He even does little sketches in the journal (they're not half bad)

Ever since the marauders entered his life and his own house doesn't like him all that much, halfway through his first year at hogwarts, he casted a bunch of spells and runes on his journal so that way no one other than himself can open or see what is written inside the journal

The first page is titled "Property of the half-blood prince."

Severus never goes anywhere without it. He also casted a charm on it so that way whenever it's stolen or missing from his person, it will appear right next to him, in his bag, or in his hand

His journal also had dried plants and flowers from his journeys through the forbidden forest

The journal is very old and is held together by magic, pure determination, spite, and a dream (😂). Plus, he cherishes that journal

No one (I do mean NO ONE) has ever seen the inside of Severus's journal, including the marauders, his parents (his mother one time was granted access), his house mates, and even Lily

He once had an old walkman that he found in the streets and managed to fix it up from remembering, seeing how his father used to fix up machinery before the abuse

When he has a train compartment to himself, he immediately falls asleep (it's his only moment of peace!!!!!)

He secretly found the room of requirements that turns into a potions lab for him. He uses it for potion experiments

His experiments with potions have both literally and figuratively blown up in his face.

Would talk with the paintings of Hogwarts

Would find jewelry in the most random places and often wear some of them after he resizes them and cleans them

He loves dark and milk chocolate, along with raisins, and vanilla

Learned occlumency and legilimens very early in his Hogwarts years and has used it on more than one occasion

When he was a child, he couldn't dance to save his life, but McGonagall taught him everything she knew

He and McGonagall play wizards chess together

Before the bullying started, he secretly wanted to be James and Sirius's friend, but after they insulted his mother's house, that thought immediately vanished

Despite being very skinny, he throws an incredibly strong punch

If he did have an animagus form, it would either be a raven, crow, cat, or bat

He would brew health potions for the sick people in Cokeworth or those who couldn't afford decent medicine or medical attention. He became their young doctor and gets paid a bit on the side

Has done a lot of odd jobs in Cokeworth to help keep his home afloat

Whenever Tobias would kick him out, he would originally crash at the Evans home, but ever since the 'Mudblood' incident, he started crashing at some of the people he helped at Cokeworth's homes

He would wish he was born into the Evans family instead of the Snape family

Loves art and poetry

Has read chemistry books at the Muggle Library

He learned how to cook and bake when he was a kid

After the 'Prank' incident, he and Remus talked and have kinda sorta made amends, but there is still a wall (and rightfully so)

He loves science fiction, dark romance, romance, adventure, tragedy, poetry, fiction, horror, Gothic literature, action, and mystery, both films and books (mostly books)

Secretly loves the story of Hades and Persephone.

Will make Blancmange every Christmas at Hogwarts (hphm made this canon)

He has tried to deny rumors about him being in love with Lily and him being a vampire or a bat, but it came to a point where he was done and didn't care

His scent would be herbs, flowers, old books, and rain

[blacknedsoul-blog]

Nevermore is a gothic tragedy. Part I: The Tragedy

This essay assumes that you've read the first season of Nevermore. If you haven't, you'll be eating spoilers.

First of all, a disclaimer: you won't find the term "Gothic tragedy" in theory books, because I just pulled it out of my sleeve. But it seemed appropriate to put it in those terms because, hey, beyond theoretical structuring, genres are also used as a guide to content, and that's kind of what I want to express with this.

Partly because I've noticed that I've called this comic a tragedy on more than one occasion, and talked at length about Lenore and Annabel as gothic characters, but never bothered to delve into these matters, and with the hiatus until (possibly) October, I think it's time to rectify that situation.

But also because I think there are a lot of things in this story that fall into place if you read it under the logic of those genres.

Originally, this was going to be a single essay, but it turns out it took over 2000 fucking words just to explain why it's a fucking tragedy, so I'm going to split this shit in two because I don't want to burn anyone's eyes out.

Tragedy and Types of Tragedy

This is the ridiculously abridged version because this is a really long story, if you want more information on the subject I highly recommend reading Aristotle's Poetics, Nietzsche's The Birth of Tragedy or watching this OSP video for a more proper introduction. If you're interested in Shakespearean tragedy, The Cambridge Shakespeare is a amazing compilation, and here's the essay that talks specifically about what the hell Shakespearean tragedy is.

Tragedy has been linked to the origins of theater as such, found in the festivals dedicated to Dionysus (if you want to know more about the cult of Dionysus, you can watch this video to start), where poetry contests were held, specifically of dithyrambs: lyric compositions dedicated specifically to Dionysus. This later led to the inclusion of an increasingly sophisticated chorus using masks. This was no longer poetry, but the first expressions of theater as we understand it in modern times, at least for Europe and the countries colonized by Europeans.

Nietzsche also points out that tragedy condenses within itself two opposing impulses represented in the gods Apollo and Dionysus, expressed in the terms "Apollonian" and "Dionysian": order, mathematics and music (understood by the Greeks as science) vs. party, debauchery and chaos. The clash between the beautiful and the grotesque (understanding that the "beautiful" can be disturbing and the "grotesque" can be strangely beautiful). This description is not entirely literal, of course, but it must be kept in mind that in order to have the fundamentals of a tragedy, one must have these two elements: order and chaos. A synchronized waltz between the rigid structures and the rupturing.

Yes, those two are enough.

Step by step, I think it is important to point out what are the transversal elements to tragedy - classical or Shakespearean - that are present in the comic.

The first important concept that appears on this page is Amarthia. The tragic mistake, the first domino that topples the whole stack, is the specific event that sets tragedy in motion, and we spectators of tragedy can only stare in horror at the situation, knowing that everything that follows will go terribly wrong.

At least as far as its protagonists are concerned, Annabel and Lenore's Amarthia has been said but not seen: the dinner party where Annabel will wear pearls, indicating to Lenore that she is in on the charade. From then on, every step they take will bring them closer to the fate we know: the arrival of both of them in Nevermore. This story ends with them both dead.

And if I had to point out the Amarthia of the comic's topicality, I would dare to say that this is it:

And this:

Annabel refuses to explain to Lenore why the plan has to be the way it is, while Lenore agrees to be part of it (the fact that she disagrees with the whole situation is a plus).

The interesting thing about this is that the roles are reversed: before, Annabel sealed the tragic fate of both of them by accepting Lenore's proposal, while in Nevermore, Lenore sealed the tragic fate of both of them by accepting Annabel's plan.

Another important term that comes up here is hybris. While it is true that hybris represents ego, this does not necessarily mean that the hero is self-centered in a personality sense; hybris is the tragic hero's (misguided, of course) belief that they can turn their terrible situation around. And, well…

That ends badly in tragedies. Very, very badly.

At this point, it is necessary to start pointing out the elements of each type of tragedy, because something interesting is happening: within the ancient walls of the purgatory that is Nevermore, a classical tragedy is taking place, while in the past, Annabel and Lenore were the protagonists of a Shakespearean tragedy.

Classical Tragedy

One thing to understand about classical tragedy is that these are stories of humanity versus divinity. The predestined fate that comes upon mortals at the hands of beings superior to them, even if those beings do not appear directly. The external forces superior to the characters do not intervene directly (at least not in most cases), but they put all the pieces in place for the tragic hero to fall headlong into his terrible fate "by their own hand". Yeah, that shit is so unfair.

In Nevermore, fate is represented by these two bastards: The Deans act as the ominous shadow of divinity that sets the rules of this battle royale. For all intents and purposes, this pair of bastards represents the tragic fate of the characters: only one will survive to have a second life. And there is (theoretically) no way to escape.

This is where we start to get into thorny issues. If I had to point out the classical tragedy that Nevermore most resembles, I think I'd get a smile out of Hadestown fans: Orpheo and Eurydice.

Okay, let's review: Orpheo is a highly talented musician who, after losing his beloved, goes to the underworld to find her. Hades and Persephone give him a chance to get her back if he doesn't turn around to see her until they leave the place, he does so at the last second, she returns to the underworld, and Orpheus spends the rest of his life in misery mourning her.

That's the thing, the story of Orpheo and Euridice is a tragedy for the most depressing reason of all: love. What seems like a generous gift from Hades and Persephone is actually a condemnation, because they ask Orpheus to do the one thing he could never do: stop looking at his beloved. In some versions of the story, he can't even hear her as they walk; will she really be her, or has he been tricked? Will she be frightened on this journey and he will not be there to comfort her? What if she has trouble on the road or an accident and Orpheus has left her behind? Orpheus loves Eurydice so much that he cannot save her under these circumstances because he cannot stop watching over her long enough to get her out of here.

Now let's go to Annabel and Lenore, the same thing is happening here, these two idiots love each other. It's probably the only thing they know for sure in this bullshit game. And for Annabel and Lenore, to love is to protect, it's to be the shield that will be there to defend their beloved in the face of adversity, she's been hurt in a terrible way and they will do anything to stop anyone from hurting her again.

But tragic fate, represented by the Deans, has set things in motion for this to quickly go to hell:

For Lenore to understand Annabel's actions, she would have to tell her that's why she's so afraid, why they shouldn't get attached to anyone, why she thinks it's necessary to pretend they don't remember each other. But Lenore can't be okay with Annabel carrying everything alone, because she sees how it hurts her, because Annabel is clearly hurting. She goes to great lengths to confide in Annabel, but she can't come up with a plausible explanation for all this crap either.

For Annabel, becoming a villain and enduring all this pain is slightly less horrible than dragging Lenore into the Deans' psychotic game. But Lenore just loves her too much to let her do that. Lenore could protect her if Annabel were by her side, so why does she keep leaving? She was hurt the first time, why do it to her a second time?

The feeling of not being heard, the frustration that the other just won't listen to her pleas and won't stop what she's doing to allow her to be cared for, runs through both of them because it's the exact same situation, "Why won't you let me do this for you?"

The answer is that Annabel and Lenore are asking the other to do the one thing she could never stop doing: stop trying to protect her. That's why they fight.

This relationship has become a power game that neither can win because they are both exactly the same. A tug-of-war that will only be resolved when something breaks. Hopefully not irreparably.

And speaking of the P-word, let's talk Shakespeare, people.

Shakespearean Tragedy

The good Bard took classical tragedy and brought it back, but changed enough elements of it that it had to be renamed because some of its fundamentals were rewritten. The most notorious of these is that while Shakespeare does not ignore the presence of higher forces or supernatural entities, the fundamental basis of Shakespearean tragedy is not the conflict between humanity and the Fates/Gods.

It is power.

Those who wield power, those who are corrupted by it, and those who crave it. These tragedies speak of moral corruption, the victims of power, and those who sink under the responsibility that power brings.

This is the reason why Shakespeare's tragic heroes belong to the nobility, come from opulent families, or hold important positions. In this case, we have as protagonists two women who were born in a cradle of gold: Lenore apparently comes from a family of old money, and while we do not know if Annabel also comes from a family of old money, we do know that there is no shortage of coins around here.

But status cannot protect Shakespeare's protagonists from the society in which they live, whose agency is sometimes literally represented by people with power. This puts them in a situation from which they cannot escape and which screws them from the start (in other cases the Shakespearean protagonist is the figure of power and seals his own fate). Here, the odds are stacked against them from the start because they are women and, as if that were not enough, lesbians.

I think it's no surprise to anyone that the Shakespearean tragedy most similar to Nevermore is Romeo and Juliet.

Let's review: Romeo and Juliet are two young people who meet at a party and fall madly in love. Their families hate each other, so they cannot be together. The two secretly marry, but after an argument Romeo kills a man and is banished, despite a plan hatched by a priest friend so they can run away together, things go terribly wrong and they both end up committing suicide.

This follows a similar logic to Orpheus and Eurydice: the tragedy here is that these two are in love. But where classical tragedy says, "They love each other so much they can't save themselves," Romeo and Juliet, like Annabel and Lenore, works with two layers of conflict.

The first is the social and political. These young people's families hate each other, so they can't be together. In the same way, Annabel and Lenore can't be together because they're both women.

This is also a reference to one of the central themes of Romeo and Juliet: the clash between tradition and modernity. I think if you squint hard enough, you can see the relationship between these two as Victorian conservatism and homophobia screwing up their lives in the same way that tradition screws up Romeo and Juliet's.

The other layer of the problem is the one that has to do with love: Romeo and Juliet love each other so much that they cannot live without each other. This is what drives them both to suicide, even when they are given the opportunity to continue their lives separately. They love each other so much that they cannot live without each other. Just as Annabel and Lenore desperately want to be together, this is what starts the engine of tragedy when circumstances prevent them from doing so.

Another thing it takes from Romeo and Juliet is the role of the parents as a representation of the power that oppresses the characters. In Romeo and Juliet, the Montague and Capulet lords pull the strings of their children's lives, and it is their resentment that creates the barrier between the lovers. In the case of Nevermore, Ira and Thaddeus are the personal jailers of their respective daughters: Ira wants to get Annabel into an arranged marriage by hook or by crook, and Thaddeus first gets Lenore a fiancé and then keeps her locked up in the fucking attic.

Finally, a tragedy that can be read as a reference to Nevermore, though more subtly, is Macbeth.

The plot is simple: a trio of witches tell Duke Macbeth that he and his descendants will one day be kings. This leads him to murder his cousin, King Duncan, and everything goes downhill from there, because Duncan's murder didn't even amuse the prince.

Yes, at first glance it doesn't seem to make much sense, but that's because it's referring to a specific moment. Specifically, the most discussed and controversial scene in the play: the dialog where Lady Macbeth and Macbeth discuss killing Duncan.

This scene has kept the Bard's fans arguing for centuries: is she manipulating her husband so that she can be queen, or is she just verbalizing Macbeth's wishes that he be allowed to commit the crime, and saying that she will support him in it? Impossible to know unless someone gets a working Ouija board.

This is the same logic that follows the flashback scene where Lenore talks to Annabel about the plan. The important thing here is that the comic decides that the answer is: it depends on who you ask.

Given Annabel's attitude toward Lenore, we can interpret that she does not think she was manipulated or anything. Lenore is not a devious woman who put things in her head, it was her knight in shining armor who came to save her from a marriage she didn't want. Yes, she may have had her doubts, but she definitely liked her chances, enough to accept them.

On the other hand, what this tells me is that Lenore thinks the opposite: that she convinced Annabel to be part of this hoax that ended with both of them dead. A crazy woman who dragged the only person she cared about into a dangerous game that cost them their lives, she considers herself as guilty as the perpetrating hand of the crime.

Conclusion

I think the first time I decided to do a review under this particular lens was when I started to notice where Annabel and Lenore's arcs seemed to be going.

On the one hand, given how things are going, it seems that Lenore has to start taking off the blindfold to realize that things aren't as simple as she thinks, and stop letting others make the hard decisions for her because it hurts everyone.

On Annabel's side, you have a character arc that seems to be aimed at being honest with other people, not letting her fears stop her from making risky decisions, and not dealing with all the bullshit herself.

If what I just said leaves a bad taste in your mouth, that's normal. Because it's fucking unfair.

That Lenore should be the one to stand firm - not out of guilt, but out of responsibility - for her actions feels like shit after everything the poor girl has been through. The same thing happens on Annabel's side, that she has to give in to a situation where it makes so much sense for her to shut down, where it makes sense, even without her background, for her to behave that way.

But that sense of injustice is one of the foundations of tragedies. The feeling that, in her situation, it is practically impossible to think that anything different could be done is the basis of catharsis: the pity felt for the character, the fear generated by identifying with their terrible situation.

The expiation of these emotions, which are produced in the spectator by the fall of the tragic hero.

Now, it is interesting to ask how the fall of Annabel and Lenore will be. The simple answer from a tragic point of view is death, a thing we know has already happened once, why not a second time? After all, that's what awaits tragic heroes. Unless you're Medea.

It's impossible to know how the comic will develop, but it seems to me that this is as far as the tragedy goes. For the next part, I want to talk about gothic novels, female vampires, the female writers of the period, and the last gothic. Believe me, buddies, there is no more obsessive romantic bond than that between a Poe protagonist and their dead bride.

[palmviolet]

true detective s1 rewatch: thoughts on the finale

— our theme for this final masterpiece of an episode is: fiction. the series has skated near this before, of course, with its context themes of seeing and image, but this is the episode that really dives into an awareness of genre and storytelling. we begin with an in-depth look at errol childress and his home, the way he lives. he truly inhabits the southern gothic archetype — the grand, decaying house, the incestuous dynamic with reference to the 'cane fields' (something i haven't really discussed yet is the role of louisiana's history of slavery, which hangs over the narrative most conspicuous by its absence; angola, for example, that fabled threat used most often to imply sexual violence, is named after the slave plantation that once occupied the same plot; the place they filmed carcosa was an old civil war fort), the faceless dolls and the mummified father kept in a shack with horrors literally inscribed on the walls (including 'cassilda', another reference to the chambers work).

— childress also watches the television and apes the aristocratic british accents on display. he absorbs fiction and inhabits it, in the same way that he puts on an irish accent to flirt with betty, in the same way that he has her tell him the story of her assault while they are 'making flowers' (a metaphor that once again suggests we are beyond the realm of reality). he and betty are deliberately, exaggeratedly gothic, full of rot — they are designed not as fleshed-out characters, as most of TD's cast is, but as avatars for a gnawing belief in the void that consumes all in its path.

— this is the crux of rust's own beliefs about the futility of selfhood — that identities are illusory defence mechanisms against the void, that all we are is 'sentient meat'. (will be talking more about this line in my reply to an excellent ask by @queixumes, so look out for that.) that life is just a story we tell ourselves. and so with the childresses the veil grows thin: as rust follows childress into carcosa, childress's impossible taunts ("come die with me, little priest") echo around him less as character moments and more as authorial interjections, a manifestation of rust's own nihilistic belief and suicidal ideation. thus when rust does not complete the narrative ("take off your mask"; rust doesn't say the corresponding, "i wear no mask") he is breaking type, paradoxically defying the vacant literary formula in which he's trapped by expressing a self.

— the final scenes of the series entail rust's struggle with this newfound self. he has turned away the offering of the cosmic void; more than that, he has been to the void and found it not as empty and personality-less as he thought, but rather a void 'like a substance', a darkness that held the love of his daughter and his father in one. their selves persevered after death — and now finally he begins to recognise his own selfhood as well.

— this is reified by marty as a sounding board. for the first time, rust experiences recognition through the other with marty as that other — marty who listens to him cry ("talk to me, rust"), marty who encourages him to tell his stories of the stars. this is the other side of storytelling — the side that is not corrupt or empty, the side that has meaning because it is sincere, because it is earnest and with feeling. childress's storytelling is directly opposed to rust's, with childress an empty caricature of the rotten southern gothic and rust as a person looking to the stars: storytelling that does not suck inward to the void but looks outward to the world.

— i think it's significant that our final image of marty and rust is marty helping rust escape the hospital several days early. marty reifies rust's selfhood by something so simple as recognising what he likes — buying him his brand of cigarettes. but this is also in opposition to the medical institution. should someone with a hole in their guts be smoking? doubtful. but that's not the point — the point is that they have to "get out from under this [hospital] roof" in order to see the stars, that rust's lasting glimpse of hope ("the light's winning") is as he flees the institution, propped up not by its mechanics, in the form of the wheelchair, but by marty himself.

— as i've discussed in the past, TD's implications of the medical institution as a further corrupt branch of the state are very veiled, but they are present. there's a further signal of this in one of the hazy, slowly cross-fading shots towards the end: we see a doctor in the hospital hallway, carrying the image of a human body, fading into a shot of the childress shack with a human body drawn on it.

placed directly one after another, this is a juxtaposition that only associates the two. the shack is where childress keeps his desiccated father, talks about bringing him water, hosing him down — in some perverse way, treating him as a patient. this isn't designed to say explicitly that the hospital is involved in the conspiracy to the same degree as the tuttles, but it implies a broader institutional sweep of wrongness. within the medical institution is where most of us will experience ourselves at our most powerless; out of necessity, medical treatment strips identity and agency away, regimenting schedules and meals and visiting hours, labelling patients with identifying bracelets. in the same way that childress's narratives of southern gothic were a seductive call to the void of nothing, the absence of selfhood, the hospital, too, denies personality and self.

— this is why we finish with marty bringing rust his cigarettes against medical advice; this is why rust leaves the hospital, if not exactly on his own terms then at least on his and marty's. it is a final reclamation of the selfhood he has been denying himself all along — and an escape into a world that contains only one story, "light versus dark", as our final shot is of the stars winking into light. he is beyond our (potentially corrupting, as sight and image has been throughout the series) interpretation; he is in the void, yes, but it is a void with substance, a void with love.

[fizzigigsimmer]

So I went to the Upside Down con on Sunday, and got a picture with Joe. I also sat in on a panel with him, Mason & Grace, which resulted in me introducing @robthegoodfellow to the absolute shudder fest that is Flowers In The Attic, later at the hotel. But before we were subjecting ourselves to incest flavored southern gothic horror, there was the con - which was way more chill than I was expecting.

Anyway some reflections, observations and a few pics under the cut. Sorry there aren’t a lot of pictures. My dinosaur phone is full of apps for work and has storage issues.

I’ve been to a few of these types of events in the past and it is always a mixed bag. Overall I thought Epic did a great job of keeping things organized and moving swiftly. It was a younger crowd on Sunday so there was generally speaking a very lighthearted atmosphere to the whole thing and generally less “mania” as some of the larger cons I have been to. But on the other hand, I think a touch of the fan frenzy has its place lol. You love to see the costumes and feel the energy… there’s something about being in a space full of people who all really love something who have come to celebrate hard - the celebratory festival vibes I think is what I missed most from this convention. But that said, it’s super young, it was a great time, and there’s always room to grow.

I will never be over the disappointment of missing Dacre, but meeting Joe was lovely. It was obvious that he was tired and (to me) he seemed a bit awkward and anxious, but it made the experience better because he was so normal about the way he welcomed and spoke to everyone despite these things. He felt real to me in a way that not everyone does. My rose tinted glasses and giddiness aside, I left the interaction feeling not like I had met someone important or been in the presence of ‘SOMEONE’ but rather that I had stood next to a nice guy who’d been told only minutes before where to stand, but who did it with sincerity.

I observed this not just in our blink and you’ll miss it interaction, but with everyone I watched him meet that day. He smiled and engaged with people, making little jokes and comments to make them feel welcome; despite the fact that besides Millie he had the largest crowds, and this was the last day so he must have been drained. He’s very good with kids. I enjoy kids but don’t find them the easiest to immediately connect with/talk to, so I admire folks who can just immediately get on their level and banter with them and that’s what I observed with Joe as he met younger fans. In answer to a question of how he became the babysitter he said it came natural because he grew up with four sisters and he’s used to it. Also, when he initially met the younger cast they were already smarter than him “so it all just came together”.

On the panel, which he could have easily dominated, he was never first to speak unless a fan directly pointed a question at him. This allowed for Grace and Mason to speak just about as often as he was speaking. Which was a relief because the imbalance of the panel was something that I as well as other attendees had noticed. Our group had actually had a discussion about this and whether we should or shouldn’t ask Joe direct questions with a young woman sitting near us as we waited for the panel to start. A few fans did end up directing their questions solely at Joe, but it wasn’t as imbalanced as we feared it could be and I think that’s due in part to the audience’s mindfulness but also to Joe being so laid back and willing to take a back seat. Literally, lol he sat in the furthest chair that was blocked by a big column in the center of the room. When he did speak he was funny and once again came off as very easy going and authentic. The Steve vibes were strong with many of his answers to random questions - particularly the one about what other role they’d take in the industry if they could. His was prop design, because it would be fun to see what he could come up with and what chaos might result. He then made a little joke about bringing some sort of rice when they had asked for knives.

This is no slight to Joe as an actor but more of a critique/observation of the Duffers, but I am even more convinced than I was before that Steve’s core is Joe and that the character we get is pieced from Joe’s acting choices. I think they were being very literal with the fact that they loved him as a person and decided to keep him around. It feels very much like when they ditched their original plan for the character they also tossed most of the character development around it. Now when they find him things to do each season I would put money down on the mindset being 80% “ooh we’d love to see Joe do this thing or say this thing!” and only about 20% who is Steve and what would he do. The end result is Steve/Joe are now only separated by very thin lines. While it’s not how I would do things it’s not a terrible thing across the board - Steve is after all very lovable and we got 5 seasons with him. Anyway, I could be wrong but that’s my honest take.💁🏾‍♀️

I would love to pick Joe’s brain one day and hear more about how he finds Steve in the soup and where he thinks the threads of character are (or were). Maybe one day!

[whole-circus]

hi dear ! could you maybe do liu, jane and toby with a reader that collects haunted dolls ? my special interest is spirits and haunted materials so i am super interested in haunted dolls, i’d love to see some cute headcanons with a reader like that ♥︎ maybe add in some gothic lolita fashion too ? thank you ! gn reader would be fine .

Homicidal Liu, Jane the Killer and Ticci Toby with gothic lolita reader that collects haunted dolls!

➥ Hi hun!! Its such a cool idea!! I kinda mixed it up together so hope its still fine!! Take care!!!

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒��� ‧₊˚　　 .　　. 　　　✦　　　　˚

Homicidal Liu

Liu is pretty open-minded person, like he is just glad you got somethig you are interested in!! Haunted dolls? Oh okay, he didnt expected that..isnt it a bit creepy? But even if he has no idea what is going on then he would love to hear you talk to him about your special interest!! Like come on!! He wants to hear everything, do they have names? Can you talk with them? ..Why are they haunted in the first place..? Introduce them to him!! Your eyes lit up in pretty way so he wants you to keep talking (plus he is obv interested!!). Liu isnt really scared, just a bit distant at first. Give him some time, and he will even take care of them if you couldnt be with them!

About your fashion sense, you are absolutely mesmerezing to him! Boy could stare at you for hours but that would propably be too creepy. Even if his fashion sense is pretty basic, Liu would totally let you dress him up!! He won't match your fashion sense at daily basis, but enjoys you making him look all pretty and he just loves spending more time with you! That way he can actually feel why you like to wear what you wear! Absolutely adores how well aesthetically you match to your interests.

Jane the Killer

Oh i feel like she would actually be into all this creepy, unsettling stuff! Horror movies, urban legends and of course haunted dolls! You are perfect match tbh. Jane is obviously curious about your collection, its impressive and she just love hearing you talking!! Like she would literally look at you with this sweet and caring gaze, maybe even holding you on her lap and caress your hair as you just spare informations with her! Treats your dolls with respect, and likes to keep them clean and safe (but if you dont feel comfy with letting other people touching you collections then she is more than fine too!), she is anything but scared!

I just love, love the idea of Jane being goth. Maybe a victorian one or romantic? Please it fits her soooo well! Yeah but thats just me saying silly things. So with your gothic lolita fashion, you match pretty well! You both will look amazing and you are this great looking couple whenewer you show up anywhere 😭 Would also like to try your style just for fun and do the same for you!!

Ticci Toby

Toby is scared and interested all at once!! Loves hearing you talking but would be scared to sleep at night.. better not leave him alone with them. He propably starts to remember all horror movies about haunted dolls and is scared for his life that they would kill him.. Just reassure him that its nothing like that and as the time pass by he will have more friendy attitude. But even tho he is scared, then he doesnt mind your passion at all! Whatever makes his partner happy!

You are like this overdressed partner x causal bf duo!! You dress so cool and there is Toby with his old and pilled sweater. I think that he would be even intimidate by your look at first, he would be shy too even look at you. Also, he would be happy to try some of your clothes (just like evryone here..) but he definitely prefer his cozy sweaters. Toby really likes to watch you getting ready when you are going somewhere, hair, make up or just choosing outfit..he cant look away! He isnt also the type of bf to get mad for waiting at you long time, so take as much time as you need!

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚　　 .　　. 　　　✦　　　　˚

[vacantgodling]

i'd like to say that this year was more of a planning year than a writing year; not to say that i didn't write; but i spent a lot more time on outlining, worldbuilding, and a new skill that i've added to the fold -- conlanging(!!). because of that, i didn't hit all the goals i made last year but tbh that's aight. without further ado tho:

TOTAL WORDS WRITTEN [january 2024-november 2024]

111,535 (as of 11/15)

once again, if this was all in one place, that would be a full novel but. speaking of full novels:

2024 GOAL STATUS

❌ reach 150k words written overall ✔️ finish cage like it’s GOING to happen i will it ❌ finish the first draft of paramour!!!

so i'm only 1 for 3 and tbh i'm not that mad about it. finishing cage back in february was one of the biggest writing highlights of this year because i showed myself i could do it, i CAN finish something of novel length if i really put my mind to it.

(and yeah, i really did go and get it printed out lmao)

and more than just the accomplishment of writing 82k in one piece, it's also helped me really understand and work out what systems and processes i need to have set up prior to writing to make it work. this is why outlining has been such a huge undertaking for me this year, in varying levels of success (lmao). having a fully fleshed out outline with the literal beat by beat playout of how i want the story to go helped me TREMENDOUSLY in pushing through cage. even on chapters that were rough for me, having that outline to fallback on made it so much easier to stick to a every week one chapter system. and its something i plan to implement with my original wips too.

the only issue is, because original work inherently requires more work since there's no framework except what's in your own head... its been a bit slower for me writing wise. BUT next year i will be operating out of a desperate need for whimsey so i think i'm going to make my goals much.... less stressful than i did this year.

2024 WRITING HIGHLIGHTS

FINISHED CAGE! biggest accomplishment in my life right now tbh. seriously if you haven't and you have any interest in overwatch at all go read it and leave me nice comments while you're at it lol. technically i am working on the interlude piece between cage and its eventual sequel, schism, but that's been kinda slow going as i don't have much motivation to do it right now. first chapter of it is also up on ao3 though -> interlude - quiet

created a conlang??? in a very bizarre turn of events i have created a conlang for my wip with the working title HE WHO SMITES THE SUN (under the tag #s: ph). the language itself is called dzonime'si and if you want to see more of that process check out my #ren fights linguistics tag :)

finished the entire "first draft" of my wip betwixt thumb and forefinger--which is actually an idea that i only thought of this year so that's fun. for the uninitiated it is a gothic reimagining of twilight but with a shit ton more body horror and prochoice commentary. the reason first draft is in quotations is because it is technically a 16k word long outline that i am considering draft one. draft 2 is literally me going bullet point by bullet point and expanding the draft into something more akin to prose. i do have the first few paragraphs of draft 3 started, which is where i'm going to attempt actual prose writing for the first time. pretty much, btaf is becoming a very lengthy process but it's my first "test drive" on how this new outlining to written prose for my original projects will go. i've just gotten... distracted by other wips since then.

2025 GOALS

to be honest, i don’t know if i have many hard goals for next year. mostly because of *gestures at the state of the world right now* :))))))) it’s blatantly obvious that when things are tough, it becomes more difficult to do the things that you want to do that bring you joy. amid trying to just survive the day to day, there’s also my desires to get more involved in bothering the FUCK out of my senators, looking into ways i can be more involved locally (without burning myself out) and just generally trying to not let the state of the world get me down.

i think there’s a lot of things i want to do. i want to finish a bunch of outlines for my wips becuase i can’t tell you how REWARDING it’s been to be able to fully just go back and reread btaf’s outline whenever i like (and have the AMAZING multi leave comments on it like that’s actually another huge highlight of this year thank u friend 💛) and get excited about telling this story all over again. it motivates me to keep doing it! i'd also love to finish btaf's draft 2, maybe try and finish interlude - quiet etc. but—long story short. i don’t think i’m going to put myself on for any particular goals. next year is going to be about celebrating wins in any and every capacity. so all i wanna do is give myself wins.

looking forward to seeing y’all next year, crying about our ocs as usual

💛 ren 💛

[jolieblack]

Jolie’s thoughts on Silver Blaze (Sherlock & Co. podcast) Parts 1 & 2

… because I can already tell that this will get too long if I wait for parts 3 & 4 to drop…

I know Joel has said in several places that this case is his favourite ACD story, so expectations are high… and not being disappointed so far!

I already loved this one at 3 minutes in, with the opening montage of part 1 being totally over the top, mega blockbuster crime of the century style, and then the next thing we get is Sherlock practising the clippity-clop thing and looking for a new home for 327 ants.

Sherlock being a train geek (of course he is) and going on about the ghost trains just after John went on about the creepy Dartmoor legends got me, too. In my book, Silver Blaze has never had a gothic horror vibe to it, but it may well have now! Let’s see how that aspect will develop.

Other details I loved:

John‘s mum: "He‘s a very sensitive boy and you need to respect that." - "He’s not a boy, he’s a man… who plays with ants."

John and Mariana pushing Sherlock into the case by threatening him with a party, and John being a gleefully cackling little bugger about it when it works.

"Just trying to understand how your brain works." - "Yeah, you and me both, mate."

Sherlock giving us a whole paragraph straight out of ACD (the "plethora" bit) - I love how well it always works in contrast with how everyone else in this universe talks.

The dodgy SD card, which - I hereby predict - will turn out to be more than a comedy element as the case progresses.

Sherlock deducing the entry code for the cottage, we love to see that kind of stuff, don’t we.

"We’ve got a horse to find. Giddy up."- Love it when Sherlock speaks ordinary colloquial modern English like a foreign language.

"You are a child, a giant crime-solving child!" - Sherlock Holmes in a nutshell.

"I’ve done the washing up - he said, pausing for a thank you - " - "Thank you."

Oh and scrolling on our phone to the point of existential crisis till we pass out is so how we all fall asleep these days, isn’t it. Jonk Watson, the true Everyman for the 21st century.

And then we get feeeeels, too!

Starting with "Talk to me, John." - 🥹🥹🥹 The incredible intimacy of that little moment. Also, another 'John', seemingly out of nowhere - is this Sherlock being incredibly finely attuned to the moments where John's war trauma may re-emerge, such as in this scene where they’re viewing a very badly injured body, ready to step in with whatever emotional support may be needed? If so, our boy has come a long way already since the first sweet but clumsy "Would you like to hold hands and talk about your emotions?" when they were viewing the body in Thor Bridge and I’M HERE FOR IT.

And what was that shower scene??? Things getting very much *less weird* for Sherlock while he stares at his dear companion in the shower (who presumably doesn’t shower fully or even half dressed) and imagines what life would be without him? If this show was heading in an unequivocal Johnlock direction, I‘d say this was an awakening. As it is, I don’t believe for a second that Sherlock was high. He just wanted reassurance that John would stay in the picture forever, whatever exactly you like to imagine the picture to be. 😭

More lovely details:

"Cinderella will go to the ball" - "You stop being so bloody clever, and I will stop with the compliments." And literally two minutes later it’s "I'm not asking you to be comfortable, I’m asking you to help me solve the case!" and John being Sherlock’s literal beast of burden so Sherlock can look over a wall that even little John Watson climbs without any assistance only a minute later.

Sherlock Holmes telling John Watson to get on his knees as if this isn’t the moment the Sherlock Holmes fandom has been waiting for for over 140 years.

Sherlock being gentle and friendly with the horse!

And to wrap up, a few thoughts on the case aspect:

[Warning: Contains spoilers for the original ACD story and may therefore contain spoilers for this version, too!]

*

*

*

*

*

The limping sheep in part 1 had me going 👀 already, and now the cataract knife has made its appearance, I really don’t expect a lot of surprises when we get to the denouement, and I'm assuming that the fact that there is an imprint of the letter S from the walking stick on the head of the murder victim just means that there was a violent confrontation quite some time before June actually died. Why else would Sherlock agree with Inspector Gregory that the imprint is there, but also with John that those extensive and massive injuries could not have been caused by a single blow with a stick? Nope, not sensing any dramatic plot twists compared to the original version this time. Let’s see if I was right!

[lonelylonelyghost]

Re-watch of The Spirealm. Episode 37

Wu Qi, the bestest bff ever. Everyone needs some Wu Qi in their lives! Wu Qi needs some Wu Qi in his life

"Even you want me to send Ruan Nanzhu to his death?"

"Lingling, you have to figure it out. If you don't enter the Door, he'll die. But if you go, he might survive.

It's obvious. The game can't be fixed without Ruan Nanzhu. He must go, no matter what, even if he is doomed. But if you go, with your strength, you two might have a chance to come back. You can make a choice between all the players and him. But he has no choice. He has to sacrifice himself to save others."

"I understand why I was given up and why he hid the truth from me, but I just don't want to accept it. I feel like I'm a fool who can only accept the consequences and understand him."

So what are you afraid of? Losing Ruan Nanzhu? Let me tell you. I'm not afraid of losing you. Because I know that it's the beginning for you to be yourself. That's the point of being your friend, isn't it? I'm going to lose you at the end of this road, I'll still take this farewell trip as a journey. I can accompany you on your last journey, just like what you can do for Ruan Nanzhu. It's a friend's duty, right?"

"I... I'm not sure if I can make it."

"You can. You can do it. Haven't you always wanted to use your game designer skills to change the world? This is the right time. You're saving the world, Lin Qiushi."

I had to take frequent breaks during these last few episodes, to watch those multi-hour long youtube videos talking about terrible straight romance books, because this shit is literally breaking me.

On a brighter note, I love that Yan Balang's situation is becoming worse for him, reflected by how his surroundings become shabbier and shabbier.

He started from owning a whole building to him ending up in a shitty crowded apartment, with debt collectors banging on his door. The interesting thing about him is that he's extremely intelligent and cunning (as we've seen in the 10th Door), but his hubris and greed destroyed everything that he has built before.

He deserves this misery and no glory

🖕

And Xia Jie being in love with that loser. Appropriate punishment, but honestly pretty sad. I might feel bad, but I don't actually

🖕

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

They managed to make everyone here despicable to such an impressive degree

"I'm leaving."

"I have no choice. I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to Zaozao and Qianli. But I have enough time to say goodbye to you. I don't want to miss it. So I'll say goodbye to you ahead of time. No matter what, I won't forget you."

😖😖😖😖

Here's Johnny!

Art that kills

Nooo, our favourite fluffy gangster is back!!!

🥹🥹🥹🥹

"Be careful. Not everyone you meet at night is a friend. They could be monsters. Destroy the game. Good luck."

😭😭😭😭

YEY!! I will cheer for his death every time I see it

My girl!!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹

And her stricken face when Nanzhu and Qiushi told her that they couldn't stay for long 😭

But the last we see her, she's still smiling

I hate this show

"This is the place where we first met!"

"Welcome to the world of the Doors."

Bondage-Don't-Stop-Murdering

Our kind gays bring all the coolest Door Gods to the yard!

And I like how all three of them are a different type of menacing. Zuozi is a cute girl straight up from a Japanese horror movie, Lady in the Rain is a refined gothic beauty, while Xiao Jiu behaves in this not-exactly-human way (the way she stares here is uncanny), because she's half-beast (I think???). I would both kill and die for them all

Our best boyyyy 🥹🥹🥹🥹

God, what an absolutely incredible thing they did aaaaaa

Sitcom. 2000 episodes. Just them hanging around, discussing home remedies, new fluffy tights, and going to each other's Doors for some hairstyle and fashion advice, killing bad NPCs in the meantime.

I never knew I needed this in my life. I want it. Now.

PLEEEASE🙏🙏🙏🙏

And the way Xiao Jiu chokes on her own hair like a cat lmao

Also her hands are AWESOME

[lavenderdreams205]

spn thoughts as requested

tw & spoiler warning

they should have kept the grungy filter and aesthetics from the early seasons

bring back the southern / midwest gothic vibes

dean would've listened to and loved 90's & 2000s grunge - I know that the whole "there's no good music past '79" is a key part of his personality but pre series/early seasons dean is soo nirvana / Weezer / smashing pumpkins coded

there is too much flannel in the later seasons - I miss the carhartt and leather jackets so bad

BRING BACK DEANS JEWELRY

there's so much about cas that we don't know. there's all the episodes where he just isn't there and they never tell the viewers what he's doing or where he went

on the same note, cas's personality isn't nearly as flushed out as sam's or dean's are. who is his favorite musician? what's his favorite place to travel to? why does he like the pimpmobile so much? does he actually like the trench coat or does he wear it just because it's there?

so many people characterize cas as a little guy, and while he is cute, it's important to remember that he's also an incredibly powerful eldritch horror who leads angelic armies and brands Michaels vessel just because

dean is bisexual and in love with cas - I won't take the time to list all of the reasons here, but you can definitely find those reasons somewhere

i would've loved for them to use the handprint as a physical manifestation of their bond instead of having it be just a scar that fades with time

i'm actually really ok with the way cas dies, I think it makes sense for his character and provides closure (for him, at least, not for dean)

the parallels of cas and dean meeting in a barn and then dean dying in a barn

cassie is deans first love, cas is his last

the imagery of the empty as cas's wings in 15x18

why do the subtitles spell cas as cass, its awful

there's a few lines in the early seasons that seemingly reference dean getting roofied / sa'd and are subsequently played for laughs, Jensen Ackles confirmed that dean would've done underage sw when John didn't leave them with enough money. I believe that this trauma is a major reason that dean never accepted his sexuality

the way deans alcoholism is overlooked and joked about is actually insane

having dean be completely ok after 15x18 is also insane, especially after the widower arc where the show specifically shows it's viewers how deeply dean grieves cas when he dies

deans death is literally so stupid. I get that the show is trying to make a really meta point about the characters not having plot armor anymore because chuck is gone, but dean deserved to find peace. if the events of the show had never happened and pre series dean had never gotten pre series Sam back into hunting it would've ended the exact same way - dean dead on a hunt and Sam dying from old age

dean spends as much time on earth as he did in hell, and while he would never be the same, I like to believe that if he had been allowed by the narrative to live longer he would've gotten back a little of the twinkle in his eyes that he had before hell

in 15x20 Bobby says that cas helped rebuild heaven but if he was there he would've gone to see dean. additionally, there's no way cas should have been able to escape the empty. this is such a glaringly obvious plot hole and it drives me nuts

I would've liked to see cas's wings in the show - not just the shadow of them

the only time I tolerate serious discussion of wincest is in the context of ethel cain

i am a Sam disliker - while he does have many positive qualities, I have a really hard time getting past him not looking for dean when he was in purgatory and him joking about deans alcoholism and other traumas

i like Sam the best when he's with Eileen, I think they're adorable together and I'm mad they killed her off

I am a chronic jack defender, that boy has done nothing wrong

it would be interesting to explore cas and jacks relationships with their respective genders

there's no way being forced to murder the dean clones didn't affect cas, we only saw him kill the last one but the first few he had to kill had to have been devastating

i'm really disappointed by 14x13 Lebanon, we get the scene with John and Sam but I would argue that dean has significantly more reasons to be upset with John and it's unfortunate that the episode just glossed over this - I believe a screaming match between the two would have cleared the air a bit and been at the very least cathartic for dean

i'm fairly sure that it's canonical that John sent dean away on his 17th birthday to kill lesbian ghosts. my personal hc is that John suspected that dean was bi and sent him to teach him a lesson

i saw a post on here comparing hunting culture to biker and cowboy culture and viewing those things through a queer lens and I thought it was fascinating - there's so much spn could've done if it cared about the show more than money and losing viewers

every time cas and dean beat the shit out of each other, it serves as further proof of their relationship rather than discrediting their relationship - ie demon dean and cas fighting in the library is used to parallel Cain and Collette. it could even be assumed that their love is stronger because Cain killed Collette but dean left cas alive

The purgatory love triangle was so silly

once dean worked through all of his trauma and toxic masculinity he would've been a swiftie

all of the main characters have old / vintage cars but in like season 13/14 dean sam and cas just collectively own and use this really ugly silver truck from the 2010s. its such a small detail but it absolutely ruins my viewing experience every time I see it

dean is actually really smart but most of the fandom overlooks it because Sam is characterized as the smart one. if you know anything about cars you know it takes an insane amount of brains to build a car from scratch (he did this with baby multiple times throughout the show) also he just makes an emf meter using basically nothing. if dean had been given the same opportunities he gave Sam, he would've been an engineer or something

i will always be a John hater, if this man has 0 haters, I am dead

[basil-does-arttt]

DMC Questions Anon here!

As we all know today is the 23rd anniversary of the first Devil May Cry game, and the series as a whole. So I want to hear you talk about DMC 1, what you love about it, headcanons you have about it, alternate scenarios you want to share, anything DMC 1 you want to talk about.

Hello again! This is gonna be a long post i have a lot to say lol

DMC 1 was my introduction to the series way back when as a little kid, when i watched an older cousin play it and eventually tried it out myself. This was also the PS2 version, and i was gifted the disc + console as well at some point.

The Alastor cutscene stuck in my head for literal years after i first saw it as a kid, that and DMC 3's mission 20 arena. Every so often it'd pop into my head as a memory, untill recently when i decided to get back into DMC fully rather than just occasionally remembering it.

DMC 1 holds a very special place in my heart because of that, its a huge nostalgia thing for me and is my favourite game in the series.

I love the setting and tone of the game, its so unique compared to the others, of course all in thanks to DMC 1 starting out as RE4. That whole gothic castle, almost horror vibe is something you dont really expect from hack&slash games these days, and even though it made for some real clunky and annoying moments in game (cough cough Nelo 2 and Griffon 2 cough cough...) to me, the good far outweighs the bad.

Oh and the soundtrack! Its so good, every theme works so well in the scene it's used for, even the abient tracks. I will say however, the bg music got real messed up on the HD remaster which is very dissapointing. (it sounds flat and doesn't have any echoing anymore, specicially the divinity statue room and Phantom's church arena in the start of mission 3). It may not be noticable to some who have only played the HD release, but i noticed it immediately coming from the PS2 version oof. I guess i have to be greatful that a HD release exists in the first place though, and it is a very old game. Still.

The combat also, (and this might not be an opinion shared by everyone which is fine) i feel is the smoothest out of any Dante in any game. All the attacks are so responsive, and although you're limited, you can still style on enemies pretty easily.

Finally the bosses. Arguably the best lineup of any DMC game, every boss is fun in it's own way and brings something new to the table in terms of mechanics. Phantom is a lot of timing correctly, Nelo pushes your fighting style to be more agressive and direct, Griffon challenges your dodging skills, Nightmare is a puzzle solving boss, and Mundus is all three. The designs are also amazing, and most of the arenas are perfect. Griffon 2 and nelo 2 aren't so great arenas but their 3rd arenas more than make up for it.

Okay enough of me gushing about how much i love the mechanics, some HCs i have for it!!

1/ That motorcycle Trish bust the door down with (and then throws at Dante) wasn't hers, right? We see it in the into cutscene before it cuts to Dante at his desk. Well, its my HC that was Lady's bike (she was not happy).

2/ (aside from gameplay mechanic reasons) The reason Dante cant use DT at the start of the game, despite having awakened it in DMC 3, is because Dante wants to push away from embracing his demonic side even more so now after his brother has been "killed". He always disliked being part demon and preferred not to tap into his demonic abilities because of that, demons are evil creatures after all and Dante is far from that, but that hate is even further exemplified after Vergil fell into hell.

3/ When Trish split off to fly solo as a devil hunter, she kept the name "Devil Never Cry" for her business. People do often confuse her for Dante's "Devil May Cry" especially when the names are abbreviated. Dante finds it mildly annoying, Trish finds it hilarious. (Sometimes she'll direct clients to Dante out of pity too when they call her number asking for Devil May Cry rather than Devil Never Cry, instead of convincing them she's the right person. Dante however always sends them over to Trish if they've called the wrong number.)

4/ Dante probably knew Trish was trying to lure him to his death on Mallet island, but he went anyways to avenge his family's death. We know he'd been searching for Mundus ever since DMC 3 (it says so in DMC 5's "history of DMC" cutscene), and he knows that finding and killing Mundus wouldn't be nearly as easy as Trish made it seem. Wether he came back or not, he was going to kill Mundus, or at least try.

As for alternate scenarios, i dont have much in mind. Maybe it would be interesting to see a scenario where Trish never betrayed Dante, and instead she tried to help him during the nightmare fight. It still would've ended the same way for her, but maybe also Dante wouldn't have gotten so angry with her when he saved her.

Ugh i just love DMC 1 so much, like i said before it holds a special place in my heart. I hope that answers everything :> <3

[utilitycaster]

Does Dock Town only have two bars and are they both named after animals? Discuss.

Companion quests! I mean this in complete seriousness: I know that failure to do companion quests doesn't just mean your party is less bonded and leveled up and happy but also literally the problems you didn't deal with come back to bite and kill you. Which is why it is kind of awesome that Taash's quests have thus been "how do I fit into my culture and my home and my gender and my mother's expectations" because like, not to get too deep but in real life you're way more likely to encounter that being a risk to someone's life and well-being than, say, a blood mage who tortured them for a year in an underwater prison and was also sleeping with their sketchy cousin.

It's been a hot minute since 10th Grade Honors English but I think that Lucanis and Emmrich's companion quests are like, each at one polar extreme of what is technically covered by Gothic Horror. Lucanis is the psychosexual blood-soaked betrayal kind in a setting that makes "Hellfire" from Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame look Lutheran; Emmrich's is in a haunted house. This sounds like I'm dunking on Emmrich's quest and I'm not. Johanna is incredible. I'm obsessed.

Hossberg Wetlands update: solved two more creepy wet mysteries. In one, the person was dead (and the new doctor is nonbinary which was actually hilarious because you ALSO do Taash's realization of their gender in the Hossberg Wetlands. Literally that and Antoine and Evka only things going for it). In the other, two wardens were dead and the third so wracked by near suicidal survivor's guilt that Antoine and Evka sent him to the Free Marches. I get the Wardens are facing existential dread with the theft of the griffons and the fall of Weisshaupt and *gestures around at everything* and their whole deal is fighting the blight but I cannot imagine Lavendel: Come for the Seasonal Depression, Stay Because You Died is helping morale.

GOT HARDING HER TREE AT THE BLACK EMPORIUM. I've gifted everyone everything.

I still have a bunch of sidequests but I have learned from the fucking necropolis dragon; I'm going to progress along a bit further. I think I heard the reviews of YOU CAN GET LOCKED OUT OF SIDEQUESTS and swung too far in the other direction.

I accidentally stumbled on further music room puzzles and now the second door in the library is 2/3rds open. RIP Solas you would have loved Myst. Speaking of I still need to talk about the Crossroads.

There's certainly criticism to be had about some of the writing but I have actually been impressed at how...natural the companions feel? Like, the banter changes notably after Weisshaupt, and further after companion quests! The conversations back at the lighthouse that you can eavesdrop on do as well! Neve actively becomes more emotive and relaxed and sociable after the Cobbled Swan case if you prove to her that you didn't abandon Dock Town, just made an impossible call and couldn't be in two places at once; she is also a shipper on deck for Taash and Harding and she's NOT subtle. Davrin and Lucanis visit each others' rooms and don't kill each other!

Speaking of: Lucanis and Neve flirting is like tell me of your childhood and your deepest fears and your love for your home and rage for the people trying to destroy it and your hopes and dreams. Harding and Taash flirting is, and I'm only barely paraphrasing, "are you looking at my legs?" "yes, you are like 3 feet taller than I am, they're all I can see," "you know they go all the way up?" "*flustered giggling*" Lucanis and Davrin doing whatever the fuck they are doing is like "I would never kill you. No one would take a contract out on you and you're not the type of Warden to take a contract out on yourself." "I'd kill you over Spite but I have been convinced to get the approval of at least two other team members first."

Taash called Emmrich a skullfucker which was funny as hell honestly. I'm playing a Mourn Watcher and the dialogue gets a little wonky due to my not being a mage sometimes (Taash: your necromancy is fine it's spirits not corpses. Reaper Warrior Watcher Rook Ingellvar: bestie I just do necrotic damage when I throw my shield. why is THAT not a dialogue option) but like. honestly an extremely funny conversation. Emmrich has NEVER fucked a skull, he's too professional and not attracted to the dead sexually, but also, Taash you think this man is a top? where is THAT dialogue option. I mean I wouldn't say it because my Rook is like BE NICE NECROMANCY IS NORMAL AND CHILL but like, for other people.

[star-fandoms]

The demons took hold of me again

The "demons" being Sally Face... SIGH!! I was OBSESSED with this game in late middle school early high school, and now I'm back baby. Crazy what seeing fanart will do. ANYWAYS!! time to introduce my babeyyyyy

Here are "refs" cause i know these don't exactly count, but eh, i dont like drawing feet/shoes! ANYWAYS!! Slight Sal redesign, I'll probably end up putting him in whatever emo ass fit honestly. Anyways I love cute fashion sooooo obvs had to make my girl cute asf. It's kind of a gap moe moment with her cause my girl has seen the horrors(like literally ANY other of my ocs honestly)

QUICK NOTE ON SAL'S REDESIGN!! The original design is fine, I'm not "fixing" the design or anything, it was simply for fun, I wanted to see him in more emo fashion and thought it fit and looked good! The necklace he's wearing is actually a locket! I can see him having a little picture of all his friends close to his heart(SOBBING ONE SEC) I might also put Sal in gothic and scene outfits eventually as well, I actually thought about giving him scene coontails on the two little front sections!

TRANSCRIPT

Not a super organized outfit, but they don't care, they like their outfit

Emo ass outfits

Prob graphic design tee, I just didn't want to draw it.

Literally will never grow again, wears platforms tho(Note: With platforms on, she's 5'3)

More organized fashion, honestly wears a lot of different styles(Note: usually seen in cute, comfy clothes, but also can wear emo outfits, clowncore, really anything honestly, she likes a lot of different styles!)

Her name is Jellie, not really, but she doesn't really remember her name. The gang picked it out for her(in which they simply asked her what she likes and she said "jellyfish" and they went "okay, Jellie for short" and she's sported the name since) She doesn't live in Addison apartments, but she lives close by enough to walk and occasionally would sleep in Larry's treehouse when she got kicked out(which eventually they offer her a place to stay when that happens)

She's known of Sal since the first day of school for him after moving, and the rest of the cast(Larry, Todd, Ashley, and Travis(and some other Sally Face oc's of mine that are still in the works)) for even longer, however she never had the courage to really talk to them. She doesn't know how to make friends or talk to people and instantly assumes that she'll just be a burden and annoy them and that they'll all hate her. She's also a stickler for rules and is horrified of being late or doing anything to get in trouble, she states that "she'll never get to college and that the teachers will tell her to kill herself" if she's late for even a minute. She's usually pretty stoic or straight up freaking out and muttering self deprecating thoughts.

TW: SELF HARM SCARS!! (not realistic)GORE!!

HERES SOME EXTRA INFO ABOUT JELLIE!!(based off of the doodles)

She cuts, a LOT!! She literally hates herself so much and does a lot of harmful things to her body. She just goes in when she cuts, she doesn't think about placement or how deep she goes, as long as she bleeds and feels pain(please don't cut and get help in you can if you struggle with suicidal thoughts)

She really REALLY like horror and doesn't react much when she watches scary stuff. Not that it existed at the time, but she could handle those 50/50 challenges EASILY!! Girl watches a lot of true crime and goes digging for shit, she straight up just looks up images of dead people(she realizes how fucked up this is in the future)

Literally awful at smiling, you can TELL she has not smiled in a bit. She could be genuinely happy and still would not be able to smile normally. It also hurts her because she doesn't use her face muscles often(hardly spoke for years, only eats dinner, doesn't smile) It is something that gets better in the future, but the cries whenever she laughs!

The way she stares at people creeps them out, she's often bullied for it(amongst a shit ton of other things) She does NOT realize she does this or that it's creepy, she continues to do this even in the future LOL!! Also she's not mad, this is just how she stares at people

If she gets forced to live another life, she wants to be reborn as a Jellyfish. She really, REALLY loves the ocean and aquatic animals!

She has hallucinations and visions(like how Sal has visions) however, she cannot tell the difference between the two. It's easy to tell from an outside perspective when she has visions though because she gets nosebleeds every time and occasionally passes out(the passing out gets worse the older she gets and the more frequent the visions become) She refuses to tell her friends though because she's so happy she finally has friends and is worried that they will be weirded out by them

Finally! Just some art i did of 16 year old Sal and Jellie, it took forever and my hand and wrist are sore(i've just been drawing and writing nonstop for the past week anyways so oh well LOL, the carpal tunnel bouta go CRAZY! Cant wait to get another ganglion cyst) but it was worth it, they are worth it. Anyways! The scenario was that Jellie was hiding from her bullies(idk some random ass background ocs i made for SF) however Sal wasn't expecting Jellie to hide behind him, much less wrap her arms around him. Erm ^^ they cute or whatever

[deanwax]

Writer Interview

Cheers for the tags, @autism-purgatory and @the-golden-comet <3

no-presh tag to @dyrewrites and @winterandwords, lets gooo

About Me

When did you first start writing?

I would've cut my teeth in the Neopets roleplay forums around age 11-12, likely didn't start writing standalone fics until age 18-19.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

Not really, but also: I'll read literally anything if it's presented as a graphic novel. It's been a useful way to discover new things, and historical graphic novels have been a gateway drug to documentaries and video essays.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

I don't really concern myself with emulation these days, but way back I tried to style a novel heavily on the works of Poppy Z Brite. I was too green to understand how to give a gothic horror a point, and "Wailing" fizzled out with not much more than wallowing in edgy misery. I've still never been able to salvage the plot or characters to this day.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

In order of frequency: lying on my stomach in bed with a heat pack, at my computer desk, hunched up in the corner of a train, being weirdly intense in the bar of a local theatre. So yeah, I do a lot of writing on my phone.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

I'm actually in the middle of reckoning with my own limitations caused by a chronic pain condition, so I'm more in the camp of "let the muse come to you". I try to check in often, I'd only to smash out a few more notes or paste in some research.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

No, except Sucks Down Under which is literally set in early 2000s Australiana. For the most part I'm making stuff up freestyle.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

I didn't think there'd be so much symbolic cannibalism when I started out, but here we are.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

Man. Adam "Flicker" Prescott from Wailing was the OG, man. He was supremely socially awkward and couldn't stick up for himself against his trans friend who was too angry about gender to see how cruel they were being. He could see ghosts. Eventually he got separated from his body entirely and became a spirit trapped in the mind of the vampire who killed him. He deserved better.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

Flicker could live in the back of my mind if he wanted. I guess he does.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Setting aside outright villains, I actually would start to avoid Alistair from Impressions of Aire for long stretches of time if I knew him IRL. He's way too socially outgoing, man. That's not my speed. Small doses only.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

The speed at which I can come up with these dudes is too fast to clearly separate the process onto steps. It helps to have a prompt to get the bones down, like a genre or an event that will happen in the story. Then: nyeeeooowwww.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Autism.

What’s your reason for writing?

Also autism. Yes, yes, the joy of creation. But also: I am putting the characters through The Situations with wildly different parameters.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Babe, I write original fiction. Any kind of comment at all is a joyous rarity.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

A trickster.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Grounding the actions of the story in some kind of reason, or at least a process that can be observed if not clearly understood.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Knack for words.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

I have loved everything I have ever written.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yes, so I could read it later.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

Any story where I've tried to inject content that would make it popular has hit wall until I've allowed myself to rework it to be as weird as I truly want it to be.