#this is just an exhausted rant LMAO

[cr4shjay]

"oh i should do the gen 4 national dex it will be a fun relaxing summer fun activity" i tell myself like a fool. i make my little spreadsheet. Oh, I Can Get Torchic Via Pokewalker! How Simple! I am a fool. I have been pokewalkering for 3 hours straight with no torchic. i know its there because i encountered one (1) torchic and it fled from me like a coward. im convinced this map is cursed . fuck sightseeing (the pokewalker map not the concept) and dont even get me started on the johto safari zone. "what if we made catching pokemon unenjoyable" they said. There is no skill there is only balls and it costs 500P just to run around like an idiot trying to find fuckign. lombre or whatever. who even cares. the johto safari zone is so beloved because it is in HGSS and everyone loves these games and they have different terrains and many different pokemon. but everyone who loves it is a fool. why is it entirely luck based. what do you mean rare pokemon can simply leave at any time for any reason for funsies. i cannot fathom shiny hunting in this godforsaken place. "oh let me place 10 rocks down randomly in the grass, rhydon will love this" <- statement by the utterly deranged. and then there's the grinding. i love fighting gym leaders over and over again, i say, like a liar. i love the pokewalker except for right now, when i need a torchic, and i am so so sleepy, why was torchic even in this thing. the other maps all have a theme to them, but torchic is out of left field. what does this bird have to do with sightseeing. i sure as hell am NOT sight SEEING it jesus christ please i just . need torchic . for my pokedex. i havent even finished the regional pokedex yet because of the grinding, because i am at the Home Stretch so to speak for grinding. the only pokemon left i need are like, dragonite adn tyranitar and mewtwo and lugia who are all such high levels and dear god i am so tired. i havent beat red yet; why is his team in the 80s. who designed this. i have like almost 150 hours in this game and my team is not even at the 60s yet. this is going to take forever.

[rubberduckyrye]

You ever see a post that you agree with and you wanna add on your own two cents but your brain is like "Hmmmm.... nah. I wanna watch House MD clips instead."

[soldierandawar]

The only reason that I’m tired of the buddie talk right now (and I’m buddie hive so don’t try to whack me) is that all of this talk may lead to nothing. There’s nothing being promised. there’s no clue to whether anything will happen this season or at all. But what’s happening? The flames are being stoked.

Interviews are being stripped down to quotes that exclude context to what’s really being said. & so what happens if buddie isn’t actually ever a thing (even though it could’ve been and I curse the day fox turned it down.) what if all this talk and hype from the fans leads to nothing? Some of yall buddie folks are not normal.

The issue is that bi!buck has turned into this perceived confirmation that buddie will happen. & I blame Tim and these journalists the most for it. Tim is playing in our faces tbh lmao. Obviously using stuff from fanfic and including it in the show. & these publications are looking for clickbait and engagement. It’s really grinding my gears.

& on the part of the fans, some of this chatter is overlooking the absolute refreshment that is this buck arc. Because a lot of you can’t take your buddie goggles off long enough to appreciate it. And the other half has made all this about Tommy. Im out here defending a white man who’s already a fan favorite. This is blasphemy. This ain’t the buddie show. It’s not the bucktommy show. It ain’t the Buck show either. There’s a whole ensemble happening around these people.

[asterdeer]

i deserve financial compensation for every time a radio makes me hear hozier tell a woman “you treat your mouth as if it’s heaven’s gate / the rest of you like you’re the tsa”. i didn’t live through years of baby it’s cold outside discourse just for this shit to be the song of the summer. fuck dude

ETA: rbs turned off because 2 terf rbs is 2 too many jesus christ

[jess-abides]

Happy Monday

I’m 🙂 grateful 🙂 all 🙂 the 🙂 fucking 🙂 time 🙂

[misteria247]

Idk what's going on with the app but it won't let me log in but I can log in via chrome??? Anyways I just wanted to say that something came up yesterday. Me and my family had an eviction notice taped to our door and long story short we're once again having to move out of our home and find somewhere else to go. I'm just so tired y'all just when I finally get settled in we gotta leave again.

Pray for us y'all it's gonna be a rough time this day forward.

[22plus15]

i feel so so strongly that if barça let lucy leave without a fight they're deranged

[hall0wedwyrm]

I think we should have Herobrine and Sonic.EXE as bitter exs as a treat

[spidergrotto]

i can’t tell if i’m supposed to be doing something, becoming someone right now or if i’m over-doing it and need to let myself rest, let my mind sit in silence.

i can’t find the difference between rotting and letting myself rest, i feel like i’m sitting getting lost in my daydreams in hopes of avoiding something.

do i know what i’m avoiding? no, maybe it’s the anxiety— usually it’s the thought that i’m not doing enough, achieving enough, sometimes it’s the constant feeling of worthlessness, or that tiny little thought in my mind telling me to just end it and get this over with; is all this hurt really worth the potential happiness of the future? i don’t know.

i don’t know what’s wrong with me, i don’t know if i’m stopping myself from achieving anything or if i need to let myself rest and just exist. i don’t know if this is depression or if it’s something else.

the word depression has always felt disgusting, i don’t know why— i hate labeling myself with it, im not depressed, i’ve just been sad and tired for a really long time and rationally i know that i am depressed but it feels wrong to say, because what do i have to be depressed about?

or maybe im just not remembering the moments where i felt happy? maybe the hurt is making things unclear, or maybe im tricking myself into believing that life is more than just this.

i don’t know what’s going on, i know i don’t want to die, not like i used to. but i also am accurately aware that it’s easier to let it happen all the same. has the idea of suicide become my biggest version of avoidance? “whatever i’ll be dead by then either way.” i don’t want that, so why is it the default? why can’t i change the way it goes.

i woke up at three pm today willingly, it’s eight pm and i’m holding myself back from getting back under the covers because holy shit get it together. but is that me trying not to rot or is it self destructive? how am i supposed to navigate this? i don’t know, i’m trying and i know that it’s not enough, either i end it or i try harder and figure something out, figure out how to be better, but can i even do that?

i don’t even know why i’m posting this because it’s sooo silly and i doubt it’ll fix anything but i don’t know !

peter parker core lol

[rosicheeks]

-

[thisisvoided]

i both love and hate being into media with a very niche fandom, bcus on one hand i dont have to deal with the exhausting bullshit of larger fandom, but on the other hand it is sososo scary to see what the few ppl who are in the fandom are saying bcus what if your specific little guy is being neglected and tossed to the side, or worse, what if it is mainly shipping with zero substance and i hate it all

[nicepersondisorder]

turns one of the people who wants to call me a friend called his shitty ex a narcissist despite me telling our whole friendgroup how he should Not luse it as an insult, at least two other people with cluster b agreeing with me and talking how narcissistic absue is incorrect and harmful wording AND me telling him specifically that i have npd after he said some bullshit about bpd and cluster b in general. his ass is not getting my friendship 🥰

[musical-chick-13]

It's also just so incredibly frustrating because people will take any example of a (usually male) character being horrible as some sort of "proof" that they're mentally ill (which, hmm, interesting that your automatic explanation for "why do they choose to treat other people horribly" is "they have a mental illness that just Makes Them Act Like That"), but there is no kind of nuanced or critical discussion of media that ACTUALLY (for ill or for good) tries to depict mental illness, and you try to recommend media that handles it well (that might even be good for other, completely unrelated reasons!!) and people just ignore you.

[skybluekoneko]

Am i the only one who is fucking tired of having to come out to basically strangers?

[atomra]

Ughh...

[miwtual]

goddamn i am. exhausted <3