#this is different from what i'd usually post
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i love yous and what not
you tell james you love him for the first time
words: 940
genre: fluff
cw: kind of reserved!reader (?), james is an annoying sweetheart
a/n: didn't realise this is another confession blurb. ive been getting too many negative posts (fanwars and all) in my tl so i needed get my head clear. i need to start blocking people don't i.
.....
You were never a vocal person. To tell someone something vulnerable made you recoil into yourself. You liked seeing it through actions. James knew that. But James had always been an expressive person. He liked showing his love, and proclaiming it, and sharing it. Basically, any form of affection.
Your reluctance had never stopped him.
He had said ‘I love you’ a month into dating, you hadn't minded it. You already knew he did, and you felt the same. You had only kissed him later, but next morning, it was as if he could predict your words,
“You really don't have to say it. I know you have a hard time with these things. I know how you feel, it's hard not to know. I feel all fuzzy inside when you smile at me" He had grinned down at you as you hid, your face half under the blanket but he knew you were smiling. He could see it in your eyes, and who wouldn't know, he did feel all fuzzy inside.
So you hadn't said it. At least not as a confession.
James is terrible company. Terrible because he rubs off on you. You were never someone to wake early in the morning, you still aren't. But your body seems to wake itself to bid him goodbye in the morning, “I'm only going to the gym" He'd say as he kisses your forehead, your body going back to sleep again.
And you had peppered in ‘love you's in your texts, when bid him goodbye, in your notes, magnetic letters spelling out ‘LY’ under his growing collection of pictures etc. etc.
Today's different. He's still annoying with what feels like a weekly routine to cuddle you with cheesy romantic sentences, that you know he means -he knows they make you squeezy- but he says them anyway.
“This isn't a joke my love, I really would let you stab me,” His arms squeezing your waist as you squirm in his lap, "I'd just be glad you'd be the one to do it."
You try to be annoyed, but laugh as you make more futile attempts to escape.
“I feel as if you were made for me. You know that one line," His eyes light up in excitement, your movements still as he concentrates, “I don't believe in God, but I truly believe God made you for me. It's from a book, I think."
“Oh my god, James," You chuckle, your hands pushing on his bicep, but you really only feel them flex under your fingers.
“What do you want for lunch?" He asks, pressing one last kiss on your lips as he lifts you off of him and goes to get his phone.
“He really needs to stop doing that to me”, you mumble to yourself.
The next morning, you had woken up as you usually did on the time James left the house. But today he was staying in, you knew this after he proclaimed he's gonna be too tired after last night's activities. You had laughed him off, but you guess he was telling the truth.
You laugh, because he is fast asleep and his lips a little puckered, nose cold to touch. You adjusted his blanket before pressing a kiss to his nose. Then another -then another, deciding those would be the only way you'd warm up the cold.
James was half- awake, he knew you were there, but he didn't dare wake up, his sleepy mind scared that it might be a dream and you'd stop.
Your fingers traced over his eyes, his forehead, his chin, mindless activities to spend time, to rid your mind of the pestering feeling.
It had been present since yesterday, or last week, maybe a month, maybe more. You wanted to say it, but every moment felt too casual, or too formal, or maybe too inappropriate, or too serious. You didn't know what to do.
You didn't know how he'd react, if he'd resort to his teasing proclamations, or ignore it, or say it back. It was silly to worry about this, there's nothing to fear, it's James.
You didn't know what made you say it, maybe because he was sleeping, or well- pretending to sleep, or it was the quiet, maybe something else. There was nothing all too romantic about this moment, but you had said it anyway,
“I love you." A quiet whisper, not hesitant or unsure, just nervous. Your pinky finger runs along his nose, it's quite warm now, his whole face is, “I hope you already know that."
He half opens his eyes, just to see a glimpse of your face, it's zeroed in on a curl of his, falling to the side of his face.
James had known you liked him before you knew. Your love isn't something non- detectable. It was out there, for everyone to see. Unintentionally or not. He had no doubts. He has a million questions if you're saying it because you feel obligated, or pressured or anything else, but he's afraid he might ruin the moment. So for now, He only pulls you impossibly close, his whole body thrumming with excitement, he'd freak out about this later on. Right now he only wants you.
His arms wrap around you, and buries his face into your neck, his warm breath on yours, “I love you, too. So,”- a kiss, “So,”-another one, "much."
He nuzzles into you, and let him, of course you do, fingers brushing out his curls, he continues, “But I think you already knew that."
#james potter x reader#james potter fluff#james potter x you#james potter x y/n#james potter imagine#james potter drabble#james potter fanfiction#james potter#marauders#the marauders#hp marauders
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SHORT STORY + BONUSES (read it like when gollum says bagginses) INTERMISSION!!! Today we'll take some time to dive into the Harrow bonuses and a couple of short stories, one of which I should have read before, but such is life.
previously, in the tlt universe:
I finished harrowcita del 9
Bonus 1: BoE google doc for the soldiers
differently from the other recaps, I did these while I was reading them, not when I finished reading a whole chapter/story
so maybe the thoughts are more rambly than usual
sorry about that
ANYWAY I have to give it to the BoE folks, they've got a lot to deal with over here
they're like the audience, coming into this blind
and have to try to understand how necromancers operate on the fly
'bullet to the head but don't be too confident on that' seems to be the most useful tidbit
it's like a resident evil gameplay
BoE is in resident evil, gideon is in survivor and harrow is in a gothic pulp novel
the advice for engaging lyctors is "avoid them at all costs"
I keep spelling it BoA instead of BoE because of her
blood of adam? blood of awake me up when september ends? idk
Pronounciation guide (aka I do what I want, but apparently pronounce nonagesimus like the author)
dr reverend emperor john chose the name gaius for himself, it wasn't his real name
gaius sounds like gallo, the spanish name for gallus gallus domesticus, which in english would translate to cock and alludes to the fact that he is a dick
agustine is pronounced like in english and not like in spanish (agustín), I have been pronouncing that one right but I could have called him agustín all this time
cassiopeia was a queen but we already knew that
sixth house, ceramics, cooking, checks every one of my boxes
"CRIS-ta-bell. Rather than “crees”."
what is the difference oh my god is there a difference there
pyrrah is achilles's drag name, which is cool
valancy and cyrus were like this
I'm still gonna call the mithraeum mithrandir whatnot the emperor's bolthole, it's in the sacred text
the nonniad is in dactylic enneameter, which is a ninth version of greek epics (which are hexameters) and it's making me send my ancient greek professor from uni good vibes wherever he is
Glossary
we know more about the beasts now, or have more ordered info, the gist of it is this
so the RBs are only the nine OGs from the nine planets of dominicus that the emperor fucked up
those are the ones that can go from the river to the physical world and viceversa
the other minor beasts can only exist in the river
I still think this is all the emperor's and the lyctors's fault for starting this nonsense and killing planets for power and whatnot
so yeah, Consequences of your Actions, johnny boy
the heralds, as we had established, are kind of like borg, responding to the RBs
necromancers kinda go mad at all this as if they were looking at cthulhu
I wanted to google what the two first verses of wake's name were but the first results that pop up are tlt sources and I'm not looking into that, in case of spoilers
I've already come this far without massive spoilers, I'm not gonna risk that now
what quotes would you like to have as a name if you were one of these folks?
If I could choose three, I'd probably pick: Yo tengo el corazón como la espuma / das Leben Sie nicht vergessen hat, daß es Sie in der Hand hält / Quieto en la tierra y sentir que mis pies tienen raíz
probably un monceau d’idées et un monceau de douleurs would be another contender considered
idk how that'd be shortened though, maybe espie because espuma
house quiz was book 1, boe name assignment is book 2
The Mysterious Study of Doctor [tumblr keeps blocking my post and I'm gonna try to avoid this word to see if this is it]
ANYWAY, SIXTH HOUSE TIME
from the blurb I can tell that:
1) all this time I thought Dr S was like a funny nickname someone had given palmolive for being correspondence-horny lmao
2) is this the magnus institute???
3) "Enter Palamedes Sextus and Camilla Hect, age thirteen" we're gonna look at some baby picturessss
"Every thirteen-year-old necromancer in the Sixth House is gifted."
"I was born with four kids in my generation eligible to produce children with me. Palamedes had two"
maybe that's why he went for a correspondence gf
camilla describing that's she's the best and me just going
this thing of 'being attractive' as a category would get me demoted at the sixth, though
but working in data, I can do that
I am really liking archivist zeta
there's something that was sealed for a lot of years and now is unsealed and that's very exciting!!!!
lost media!!!!
so many stairs would be a problem for me, but there's lost media at the end of the tunnel
archivist zeta: don't touch anything
palmolive: including the bone hands?
archivist zeta: the what now
apparently the hands are younger than the time the room has been sealed
with the forms being color-coded, I'm starting to think this is less magnus institute and more office of incident assessment and response
them making references to other houses remind me that other houses socialized, seeing everything from the ninth made me feel like everyone was isolated all the time lol
add to my list of sixth house love the fact that we have murder mysteries now too
gotta love the sixth house
kinda ominous the hand bones now that we know what we know, of camilla carrying palmolive as a tamagotchi in a bone hand after harrow changed the skull
palmolive and camilla age 13 are a whole other book I would have devoured at age 13 myself btw
giving me his dark materials vibes
there was a skeleton in the air vents above the hands
camilla says she's gonna start taking measuring tape with her alongside everything else and I also can relate to going places with 25 million things, just in case
palmolive steals pens, apparently
I've used this meme for palmolive before but it still fits
the skeleton was possessed by the dr himself, he got kinda stuck on his way there after the fifth person tried to call him and got his hands into his study through skeleton shenaningans
palmolive needs to touch something in order to prove the "why" and everyone votes in favor, because he's on a roll
the cool wooden orb that was in the desk was a cool wooden puzzle, like the Karakuri Creation Group ones
man, I love those
the dr solving a puzzle after his death and coming back to prove it is me with some niche puzzles I used to have a sideblog for
don't ask me
there was paper inside and everyone got outside super fast and started congratulating each other (hello????? you did nothing????) and shaking camilla's and palmolive's hands
they don't wanna give palmolive multiple points for solving a several hundread years old mystery, which isn't fair tbh
"Don’t expire in a fit of hubris." oofffffffff
the paper had letters, which palmolive thinks are love letters
with his years of experience on pining letters
the one at the ends says "Tomorrow you will become a Lyctor and finally go where I can’t follow"
is this about cassie??? aka cassiopeia????
loved the camilla and palmolive murder mystery dinner
As Yet Unsent
this is judith's diary and this is how I imagine she looked while writing it and judging people
judith assisted the BoE with her own healing but it's kinda tough when you're also handcuffed and with your eyes covered and whatnot
judith is still in the emperor's side
I don't blame her, she hasn't met the man
yandere twin has met him and still saved him so, I can't judge judith too much
there's a corpse that isn't rotting
promising stuff
there's a commander called We Suffer
they're wearing masks and camilla is being "converted" to their cause
and she didn't even meet the man, but apparently BoE had contact with the sixth house at some point in the past
cassie?????? is this you??????? who knows
sixth house though, earning more points
also, camilla says that palmolive would want to find out what they know and, you know what, fair
I would too
camilla is also good at chess, because she's good at everything
they're playing ceiling chess like in queen's gambit
judith thinks about martita, who will soon do some awesome things next to mati nonnius
judith is also marinating the fact that everyone was fooled by the twinsies and the fact that regina george twin has no necromancy
she also complains about her being too emotional and prone to trust people
every point regina george twin makes about BoE sounds pretty solid to me tbh
the more I see, the more I think the emperor is a dick, like his name implies
judith argues with regina george twin a lot but also notices that her ears go pink when she's impassioned so...why are you noticing that judith????
how did you notice that???? *smirks knowingly*
judith has to deal with the limitations of medical care when you don't have a bunch of people who do body magic stuff
so she's dealing with recovery in a slow way and with machines plugged to her
it's hard for her because she was from the house where necros are also very able to do physical stuff
camilla is giving her strongly worded positive reinforcement
regina george twin and judith have a lot of moments that go from flirty to fighting
I can't keep using smirk reactions images so (¬‿¬)
regina george twin is also being trained to be rambo barbie and I think that suits her
"In a different time I would have found ways to apologise to Palamedes Sextus, whom I at the very least critically misjudged"
palmolive always getting the indirect compliments my goodness
he's so popular
"The princess has by turns tried to charm Camilla, play with Camilla, flirt with Camilla, and cajole Camilla. Camilla is currently unmoved"
nobody's good enough for her, regina george twin, move along
regina george twin is also being kinda aphobic towards judith's response on her being uninterested to romance camilla
I don't think judith is aro at all but that doesn't mean we have to be assholes about it, regina george twin, thank you
judith and regina george twin think BoE is wrong about necros having orgies and I'm here like
so, apparently, judith propositioned martita because she was pretty much obsessed with her
and martita said no
and she thinks camilla is holding onto tamgagotchi palmolive out of some sense of not wanting to let go of him
unaware of the fact that he's in his river loft waiting for his bones to be womanhandled by harrowcita
also, the BoE has an old ship that judith wasn't helpful with, so they don't really have much patience with her
regina george twin and judith keep flirting in that intense tlt way
I'm starting to think regina george twin has a big crush on judith and I'm here for the dynamics of that
"It said, Ugh! Then it said, Eugh!" is this mercygirl??? it sounds like mercygirl to me
and fixing someone's insides as if they were cleaning a sewing machine also sounds very mercygirl
mercygirl is also curious about this body that doesn't rot and I wanna know what it is because I want so bad for it to be gideon-related but I can't let myself hope
also, she gave them the coordinates to find harrow in the cool planet
"And Camilla said, The Warden and I know they can die like anyone else" 👀
"The corpse of the Ninth House cavalier is as pristine as when Camilla Hect convinced them to take it on board"
YESSSSSSS
YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
MY HOPES WEREN'T UNWARRANTED
LET'S GOOOOOOOOO
GIDEON ARMS INTACT BABYYYYYYYY
regina george twin proposes necro-cav marriage to judith and judith says no because no relationship here can be straightforward
"Why would I ever knowingly take Coronabeth Tridentarius’s, having desired her already for twelve long, stupid, fruitless years?!"
DRAMAAAAA
AND THAT'S IT!!!! FINALLY!!! This took me a lot longer than I wanted it too but I enjoyed the stories ♥ See you in the next one!!
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Finally answering this:
Thank you, @saintjustitude for asking me to rant—I adore doing just that :]
(First of all, thank you to everyone for waiting. I know I took a lot of time to write this, but I had only around an hour free every day, and I usually spent it searching for sources. My knowledge is limited; the play isn't available. I rely on memoirs, interviews, and reviews.
My inbox is always open, and if anyone has any Wojtek questions, I'd be absolutely delighted to answer them. And I mean it. It can be anything.
Every quote was translated by me. All my sources are listed.
Unfortunately a part of it wasn't saved, and I don't have access to some info anymore but this post will probably serve as the beginning of a longer thread.)
And now: “Sprawa Dantona” (1975).
1. How did it all come to be? Why was ‘The Danton Case’ and not any other play?
When I say ‘Danton’ directed by Wajda, most probably think of the 1983 version, a political metaphor: Comsal representing the Polish government, Dantonist representing Solidarity. Was it like that originally? Was Wajda just calling for a fight with the government, transforming Przybyszewska's work to fit his own narrative?
In short: No! (At least if we're referring to the 1975 version, the film is completely another story; I'll gladly make another post about it.).
Zygmunt Hübner (I have mentioned him already in this post) chose Wajda to direct the play even though the latter was a relatively young director; something was telling Hübner that giving the play to him would be absolutely necessary. Pszoniak later referred to that event as Wajda being cast in it as much as he himself was.
The play was simply a way to introduce the artistic team Hübner created. There was none of some “noble patriotism’ or 'anti communism'. (None of what Wajda described as the purpose of the later film.)
Why was that play in particular chosen? That is unknown.
“The idea [of exhibiting that play] came from the fact that Hübner was looking for a play (…) that would present his artistic team as a whole, which he assembled with great imagination and intuition.”
At first, Pszoniak laughed into Hübner's face when offered the role. He thought it fine, intruiging, but the character of Robespierre was so foreign to him that he couldn't give anything from his own person or his own experiences to his Maximilien.
He asked for the role of Danton; that role seemed to fit him way better with "his [Danton's] sensuality, his dynamic physiognomy, and his balls."
Wajda and Hübner were quite insistent and more or less forced Pszoniak into the role.
“Hübner and Wajda were so stubborn that they did not take my objection into account. Nothing there [in the role] suited me; there was no starting point for the role. I had no right to play it. But they convinced me for so long that the whole situation with ‘The Danton Case’ became a dead end.”
The transformation from simply a good play to something entirely political in Wajda's eyes was very slow but steady. On that a little later.
2. Pszoniak wasn't ready to play Robespierre? How did he prepare for the role then?
It's very important to note that it was not bad will that made Pszoniak initially refuse the role, but the theater typecast he was put into and which he almost got used to. All of his power and stage presence were connected to his own physicality, to this sort of mobility and expression that he had to (presumably at Wajda's request) abandon while playing Robespierre.
Wojtekspierre getting his hair cut from a man with surprisingly modern glasses
Whether he was in a tragedy or comedy, it was the unique liveliness that made him so different. Suddenly he was offered the role of Robespierre, a man he only knew from unfavorable history books, portrayed a certain way by Przybyszewska, and he's made to stand before the expanse of that character's personality in a try to make him someone physical.
While it might seem quite shocking, when preparing for the role, Pszoniak didn't even read any Robespierre biography. Why? According to him:
“I didn’t think at all about a historical figure, and besides, you can’t play any historical figure. I put aside the books on the French Revolution. I read them much later, when, years later, in Paris. (…) I didn't want to portray a historical figure, so I didn't judge or evaluate him. I simply tried to get closer to him, to understand him as a person. Przybyszewska herself made it easier for me. The text of the play clearly indicated that she was fascinated by him. (...) Przybyszewska constructed this character in an unusual, enigmatic way. I clung to this fascination, it was a reason for treating Robespierre with empathy. This is a necessary condition for creating a character, without empathy you will never be able to get closer to the man you are to become on stage. Wandering through the labyrinth of his emotions, motives for action, opinions he expresses, I became so strongly attached to him, he took over me so much, that as a result I became Robespierre-Pszoniak.”
Pszoniak admitted he didn't want to play a politician [but, of course, as we all know, he was later forced to in ‘Danton’ (1983)].
The preparations took time and patience (especially from his wife - Barbara). Pszoniak tends to describe it as a painful process. Robespierre's physical expression was compared to being bound tightly by his own flesh, almost imprisoned by it, but freed by his mind. Pszoniak realized that all of the power in portraying Robespierre could only be gained from a deeper reflection. How to show a mind on stage?
That Pszoniak didn't know, and so he made the decision to show Robespierre's determination and faith instead of simply a calculated brain. To show a path, an objective. That's why the last scene was so hard to play (conversation between Robespierre and Saint-Just after Danton's death); he even asked Wajda for a white cloth as a makeshift shroud. To Pszoniak, that scene meant the symbolic death of his character. Robespierre (described by Pszoniak as a “very intelligent man") feels that inevitable peril awaits in the near future. The actor often described a feeling of mourning something or someone after the performance.
The challenge of creating the role, in the words of Wojciech Pszoniak:
“I started to control all my reflexes morning till night; from waking up to falling asleep, I was destroying myself. In everyday life, even the smallest activity, I slowed down; I was reducing and cleaning up [every one of] my habits. Torment, the absolute torment of controlling yourself, of managing yourself. Zero spontaneity, the phone rings, my first reaction—run to answer it—I stop myself calmly, in control of every slowed-down gesture. I imitated Zygmunt Hübner's focused gait; I noticed how he placed his feet. And I started walking like that myself. That's how I set a different, more controlled way of moving. After that, I turned to gestures, head movements, the way of getting up, and gesticulation. I felt that I was different. Acquaintances and friends both asked where this change came from. I suppressed the dynamic, extraverted myself.”
And
“I was pushing the boundaries of supervision [over myself], checking how I would behave after drinking a larger amount of vodka. One day I went out with Basia [wife] and friends (...) After a few bottles, at four in the morning, they were amused, cheered up, asking if I was sick because I was behaving like a machine. After three weeks of suffering, I reached ground zero. This happened during the rehearsals. A conversation about Robespierre and Danton. I joined the discussion, exclaiming, 'I disagree!’ - and suddenly I saw that my hand was no longer my hand, that it was not the hand of that Pszoniak that I am, but that it was already a hand—the beginning of someone else.”
3. What of Danton?
Here the problem with the play began. The man cast as Danton, Bronisław Pawlik, was just... terrible.
He was a good actor in general, definitely, but in short (explanation for the anglophones), it was like casting Danny DeVito as Danton.
He was short of stature, weak of voice, much older than Pszoniak, and simply unfit for the role.
He didn't have a stage presence; his voice was silenced by the other people on stage, and Pszoniak kept acting as if there was some great, dangerous opponent when there wasn't—the audience seemed to notice it.
It all added to a kind of feeling of resentment after preparing so long for the role of Robespierre.
Danton (Bronisław Pawlik), Camille (Olgierd Łukaszewicz) and Westermann (Franciszek Pieczka) celebrating
Pawlik was more concerned with the position of the props or the costume instead of conversing and shaping their roles. To Pszoniak it was the role of a lifetime, to Pawlik it wasn't.
“The audience was sitting on the stage because the entire theater had been transformed into the Revolutionary Tribunal. Here, a powerful voice and a [kind of] broad gesture were needed... Pawlik's charm disappeared in the feverish crowd. What consequences did this have for the play? Enormous, Danton was deprived of the strength [for both the audience and actors] to believe that he posed a deadly serious threat to the revolution. And this lack bothered me terribly...”
4. How did it become political then?
As I have previously mentioned, it was a slow, steady process. Even Wajda himself didn't think much of the play; it was the audience that began the change.
As the first example, Pszoniak recalls a scene when Eleonore comes in with tea but not sugar—in the audience at first only a few laughing, but gradually along with the many performances it turned into the whole audience cackling. The play was exhibited just when a time of increasing problems with sugar supplies began in Poland (food stamps for sugar were introduced).
Pszoniak admitted that the cast would often laugh along with the audience. It seemed almost absurd—a tragic play blending with the real world.
When it comes to Pszoniak himself in that time, the more he played the role, the more it felt like “punching the air.” Instead of having a genuine conflict, he had no support, no reference point in Pawlik as Danton or the audience. For the role to have meaning, to be something, it all had to be a matter of life and death. His co-actor was slipping into comedic grotesque while playing the second main role.
"The success of the play was huge, but the audience was eager to read the play [only] in the context of political allusions. (…) The audience felt that something was happening [on and off stage], (…) the tension grew."
The audience's reaction seemed to be a direct answer to the Danton shown on stage. Instead of a political opponent, there stood a sad, tired victim of the committee who seems completely and utterly innocent, all his words said with a kind of saddened charm (doesn't that remind you of a certain film Wajda made later?).
5. What of the other actors?
Here is where I have the least information. If anyone has any more sources of information, actor memoirs, etc., feel free to reblog this post with additional info or simply contact me about it so I could make Part 2. :]
The cast.
I have to tell you something shocking... Wajda is capable of giving actual, normal characterization to secondary characters (gasp, thunderstrike, wolf howling).
Or perhaps that was just the actor/Zygmunt Hübner (I guess we'll never know).
The most information I could gather was about Saint-Just (played by the excellent Władysław Kowalski).
Based off the limited amount of reviews I could gather, he was a positive character in general. Described as “a man gifted with exceptional warmth and [someone] unconditionally devoted to his cause” or “full of raw passion."
AND HE GIVES MAXIME FLOWERS IN THIS VERSION AS WELL, EXCEPT IN THIS ONE ROBESPIERRE (KIND OF) SMILES!
I couldn't find much on Eleonore, Louise, or Lucille, though I've searched and searched for a few days. All I could find is that the actresses were excellent—that is, unfortunately, no source of any relevant information. Frankly speaking, since Wajda, in kind words, doesn't excel at writing women, I don't have much faith in their characterization on the director's part.
Camille played Łukaszewicz is usually called a “complicated youth"—that is, of course, an opinion—or “spontaneous in reflexes"—that's a bit better of a description. As you can see, I am limited by the fact the play isn't available, and I must depend on biased or subjective sources.
Worried Camille Desmoulins (Olgierd Łukaszewicz) - I do think this Camille looks quite nice.
6. And did the critics like it? Was it well directed?
In short, it was a very, very liked play by both the critics and the audience. It ran for 5 years; it ended around 1980, when many of the actors simply left Poland.
About critics and reviews written by them: What surprised me immensely is the fact that most available reviews (written before the release of the film ‘Danton’) of the play weren't anti-Robespierre. The play is often described as something of a moral discussion, something for the viewer to assess, a work that doesn't suggest one solution to understand the conflict, or revolution (in other words, a great play).
A thing I've noticed is that along with time, the descriptions of the main characters seem to change. Danton—in earliest reviews described as “absolutely repulsive," then later as a tragic man, someone who adores life. Robespierre—in earliest reviews described as an absolute “marble statue," an idealist, someone pure, then in later reviews as just a fanatic.
7. What about Wajda? Did he change the text much? What about the scenography?
I was surprised to learn that Wajda absolutely could make a good, Przybyszewska-accurate play.
From all I could find, there is not much I can accuse Wajda of when it comes to ‘The Danton Case’ stage adaptations. It was made very well. What most likely contributed to the later change in people's mentality when met with the play is the fact that the audience was sort of a part of the performance. How? Like this:
“It [the play] takes place on a stage placed in front of the audience; on the actual stage and in the rest of the audience sit in rows of chairs rising upwards. Everything encompassed by the scenography is one theater. This played out brilliantly in the second parts, in the beautifully composed group scenes, where the audience not only looks at the stage but is drawn into it as an extra audience at the hearings of the revolutionary tribunal.”
And
“Wajda made "The Danton Case" as if against himself—against his previous self: he gave up on visual effects, music, and symbolism. He built a spectacle—a spectacle indeed!—raw and beautiful. (…) During the (…) presentation of "The Danton Case," seats for viewers were also installed on the stage, which was fortunately spacious, the audience surrounds the actors, the actors are among the audience, on the balcony, in the passages.”
If Danton or Robespierre were so close to the audience, I think it really did influence the people's opinion of it later on. Pawlik was terrified, jumping like a fish out of water from one audience member to the other, and there was Pszoniak, white and still under his shroud just a few meters away. That did certainly change the performance's reception.
8. Where can I watch this?!
As I have mentioned here: the play isn't available online, but most certainly is somewhere in the archives (confirmed by Pszoniak), when it was supposed to have a TV debut the martial law was introduced, and a few years later everyone seemed to have forgotten about it.
So, erm… Who's raiding the archives with me? (By the way, fragments of the play exist online, but only 10-20 minute excerpts, so if I find the time, I'll try to track them down.).
Sources:
Books:
Aktor. Wojciech Pszoniak w rozmowie z Michałem Komarem, Wydawnictwo Literackie 2009;
Maciej Karpiński, Pszoniak, Wydawnictwa Artystyczne i Filmowe Warszawa 1976;
Małgorzata Terlecka-Reksnis, Pszoniak. Fragmenty, Wydawnictwo Poznańskie 2024
Photos used and play reviews (pardon the rhyme):
http://encyklopediateatru.pl
#wojciech pszoniak#frev#pszoniacology#wojtekspierre#sprawa dantona#the danton case#stanislawa przybyszewska#stanisława przybyszewska#the french revolution
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ok here are some In Stars and Time thoughts: (wow! that's a lot of thoughts actually! long post warning! also warning for like every possible spoiler, don't read this if you haven't engaged with the game to your satisfaction)
I'm obsessed with the fact that the loop that ends up being the final one is the one where EVERYTHING goes wrong. I spent the whole game subconsciously building up my Perfect Final Loop in my mind, how I'd get every item to make sure I didn't miss an opportunity to use em, do all the friendquests and such... I didn't even realize I'd been building up that ideal scenario until after credits rolled! Really really cool. The timeline where Siffrin does the worst stuff he does in any loop is the one that stays. And it's still a happy ending! it's a better ending because of that! His friends saw him at his worst and still loved him! He didn't have to do everything perfect to keep them around actually! Something about that feels so right, to me.
I keep using "ludonarrative resonance" to describe this game and yeah ok I'm huffing my own farts here whipping that out but whatever, it's REAL. The player and Siffrin are on the EXACT same emotional journey as each other, we're getting tired of seeing the exact same lines over and over again right alongside them, we're taking shortcuts because we've seen it all before and just want to grab key open door grab crest etc etc make the progress go. We're starting to find these previously-charming characters grating because we've just seem them repeat the SAME lines over and over and over and OVER again until they start feeling like caricatures of themselves who we can barely feel any real compassion for any more.... It's just so.... clean, it's so perfect, to me. It helps that Siffrin is also one of the more relatable characters I've encountered in, like, media. I don't usually relate to fictional characters much, but, man, the emotional constipation, the building scorn, the depression, the Being Weird About Touch... I mentioned in another post that it's really just Siffrin and Murderbot who I've ever found viscerally relatable, of all the characters ever in media. So like, it's a pretty rare position. (I do not relate to the pun-love though. I'm funny I'm good at goofs but bad puns are extremely tedious to me. Which perhaps goes to show how well-realized Siffrin is, given that I'm able to look the other way....)
I think they could have stood to make Loop's Whole Deal a bit more obvious. I had no clue what their fucking deal was at any point. I totally missed the interaction that lets you learn about The Incident and thus get more Loop info at the end, and... it's valid to have different endings in a game of course, but... I felt like I really missed out tbh! And I had no way of knowing I had to keep interacting with the silver coin.... idk. It felt a bit like a gotcha I suppose. And Loop's deal is really cool! Holy hell! I'm doing a quick replay of the game to see more convos with them with this context, and to get the ending with them, and like--!!! There's so much here! Loop tellins Sif to use the royal We, they even tell Siffrin, like-- Loop asks Siffrin why he doesn't just tell his friends about the loops, maybe they can help, why keep it a secret? Meanwhile... Loop!Siffrin is stuck in their own helpless timefuckery world and refusing to let Siffrin know about it! The Siffrin from the Start Again timeline never learned those lessons, they're still trying to help someone else while refusing to ask for help themselves, refusing to even let on that there's a problem! And getting more and more emotionally fucked up about it! Man it's good. I guess it does make a replay more rewarding, not knowing this until the end, the first time, but so much of the game is already a replay that, idk, it does feel weird to replay it. I've already done so many repetitions y'all.... But I guess that's pretty meta, also...
Oh I'm under the impression this is not terribly uncommon but I absolutely did get got by the ?diary? that had the story of the person making a duplicate of themselves so they had someone to talk to. Like I fully thought that was describing the King and Siffrin, I spent a long time under the mistaken impression that Siffrin was a copy of the King in some capacity. Oops.... I might try to gently lead Beloved Roomie away from this interpretation when she plays it. Planning on being pretty hands-off overall but this is one area where I feel it might be justified to violate the prime directive.... But we'll see!
I wish I liked the music more..... This is a game that I think really begs for some real heartwrenching tunes to enhance all of the everything but instead none of it does it for me at all. I think that's a real shame, it's by far my biggest complaint. I'm not asking for Undertale-tier, but, at least something I'd want to put on my playlist for the emotional resonance, y'know?
THEY ACTUALLY KILLED THE KID !!!! LIKE!!!! I guess I have some biases I might should think about but I was not expecting a game that begins with so many explicit pronouns introductions (rather than just giving us context clues) and that has no real cursing to be willing to kill the kid, even impermanently? Let alone so gruesomely? I think I was expecting a much greater level of.... idk, tweeness, fanglessness, than we actually got. In spite of being a fan of insertdisc5's comics for YEARS and years! And like! Damn! Props to them!
God. God. So, like. All the ending fakeouts were fucking great. I genuinely thought the All Friendship Quests ending might be the Real One, I was prepared to be disappointed because it felt too soon and just not.... quite.... right? But I did think that was probably where it was heading! But it wasn't! I got got and it's so heartwrenching and also so satisfying, the mood whiplash from loop to loop is fucking sublime.
And-- AND! The real ending! So like. Some of the stuff I missed was just me not pursuing specific content correctly. But some of it is genuinely just, like, stuff that has no actual purpose besides flavor. Flavor, and.... The locked passphrase door in Dormont. The four-pointed leaf you can get (but not in the final loop!), the bell chime, etc etc. You can't actually really do anything with any of this stuff. But you don't know that! It feels like there's still all these loose ends! And!!! Those loose ends do their job SO WELL! The dev knows Gamer Instincts, knows people are gonna have that mental tally of boxes-yet-to-be-checked. Left some forever unchecked on purpose, which-- At the end, the real end, when Siffrin is about to talk to the Head Housemaiden and find out, for real, if this is the final loop or if it's all going to happen again, again, again. He's scared. He's traumatized! He's thought he Had It so many times! SO many times!!! Hope is terrifying! Hope is a poison! And the game has left these loose threads, and at least for me I really was not sure it was going to work. Like it seemed likely but the same metaknowledge of story structure that made me think it was likely also told me "but wait, there's all these loose threads, and the only way for them to trick us again WOULD BE to make the ending SO elaborate and epilogue-y....." I was nervous right along with Siffrin! I was uncertain! Fucking fantastic work, using my own gamer's instincts against me. Thrilled about it.
All the characters are so well realized. They all have specific relationships with each other, not just with Siffrin (Important!!!!! Huge complaint I had with BG3, they didn't put their whole pussies into this!!!!). And, and, I love how they all have different feelings about the time loops. I love that Mirabelle doesn't want "spoilers," and meanwhile Bonnie doesn't mind them and thinks of their alt-selves as like... them-but-not-them in a very cool way.
There's something about-- the way the game starts as a regular degular videogame and then graaaadually becomes, essentially, a visual novel as the actual gameplay becomes trivialized. Which itself is like, really really cool with the themes! And also, just.... I never would have picked up a straight up visual novel, I just, don't get into them, I'd rather read a book, but! I was already invested! It got its hooks into me when there was gameplay mixing things up and those hooks weren't about to let go just because the gameplay didn't super matter any more!
Straight up when we first see Red I didn't at all process that it was a Color in a game with No Colors, Canonically. They had to spell it out for me. It didn't occur to me to be surprised. I'm just too used to colors existing I guess idk. I think I wish the colors thing had gone somewhere a bit more...? I'm GUESSING it mostly originated as just a cute little explanation for why the game is all grayscale and then fit in with enough stuff to be given elevated importance (?) But it felt... hm. Underdeveloped, maybe. I think I really want more stories in this.... "Setting" and "Universe" and "Series" are not quite the right words but hopefully you get the idea. I want more so there can be one that develops that more. Not that leaving stones unturned is, like, illegal ofc. I just find the idea very compelling....
What is it with time loop stories and themes of loss that cannot be outsmarted. Man. I wondered, for so long, if Siffrin's country was going to be restored in people's minds, if that was one of the main big Plot Things we'd see. And it just didn't! Their memory is going to keep being bad, they're going to keep having all these huge tragic gaps and it's just. What can you do. At some point you have to either be permanently paralyzed by the horrific injustice you've suffered-- or you have to try to live a life. And. Man. I don't think I've actually ever encountered a story that was so much about that exact specific form of loss, the loss of one's culture, history, language! All of it. Gone from everywhere. It made me think of the obvious things and just. Man. What a howling void. The contrast with Odile's deal made it a lot more effective too I think. More of an expanded meditation upon these themes than just one toe dipping in, I guess? Hm.
Odile's battle profile pic when she's at low health is so fucking hot this cartoon character is so hot goddammit.
Game good. You're only reading this if you've already played it, I hope, so I can't use this space to recommend it in a meaningful way but. Heck. Game good.
#toasts poasts#in stars and time#isat#effort#media#I had SO MANY THOUGHTS it turns out!#way more than I realized! I just kept going!
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Appendix: Assorted Edward Quotes
I am yet again cutting a digression out of my 2+4 essay - this time it's evidence of what Edward is like when Gordon's not bloody around/involved (lol. I want to show that there is a difference!) Notice that there is one example when Gordon is present, however it's when Gordon is at the height (depth?) of his Disgrace Arc and for a couple of months or whatever hasn't said Boo to anyone.
However I will be offering no further analysis/explanation at this time, I just want the quotes here in case I need to link to them. So, just, er... consider this an Edward appreciation post, I guess. Yeah. Those always go over well, anyway. Look, I'll slap a picture on it. We're good.
He waited and waited - there was no whistle, no green flag. "Peep, peep, peep, peep - where is that Guard?"... / Edward began to get cross. "Are we ever going to start?" (1923)
Then the Driver pulled the lever, and Edward puffed away. / "Peep, peep," he whistled. "Look at me now." (1923)
It was fun playing with trucks. He would come up quietly and give them a pull. / "Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!" screamed the trucks. "Whatever is happening?" / Then he would stop and the silly trucks would go bump into each other. "Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!" they cried again. / Edward pushed them until they were running nicely, and when they weren't expecting it he would stop; one of them would be sure to run on to another line. (1923)
"I've got some trucks to take home tomorrow," he told him. "If you take them instead, I'll push coaches in the Yard." (1925)
They both rested at the next station; Edward told James how Gordon had stuck on the hill, and he had to push him up! / James laughed so much that he got hiccoughs and surprised an old lady in a black bonnet. (1925-6)
"Shall I help you, James?" called Edward. / "No, thank you," answered James, "I'll pull them myself." / "Good, don't let them beat you." … "Peep pip peep peep! You're doing well!" whistled Edward, as James slowly struggled up the hill[.] (1925-6)
"How beautifully you wheeshed him," laughed Edward. "I can't wheesh like that." (1926-1934)
"Hullo Henry," said Edward, "you look splendid; I was pleased to hear your happy whistle yesterday." (1926-1934)
"The engines in their Shed were excited and wondered who would pull the Royal Train. "I'm too old to pull important trains," said Edward sadly. (1952)
"Peep! peep! we're late," fussed Edward. "Peep! peeppipeep! Where is Thomas? He doesn't usually make us wait." (1952)
"Do save him, Sir! You've got room, Sir!" / "Yes, Edward, I've got room," laughed the Vicar, "but I don't need a Traction-engine!" / "He'll saw wood, and give children rides. Do buy him, Sir, please!" (1952)
So Duck came to Edward's station. / "It's not fair," he complained, "Diesel has made The Fat Controller and all the engines think I'm horrid." / Edward smiled. "I know you aren't," he said, "and so does The Fat Controller. You wait and see." (1957)
Edward brought workmen to clear the mess. / "Douglas was grand Sir," he said. "James had no steam left, but Douglas worked hard enough for three. I heard him from my Yard." (1959)
"... So I tried very hard, but I couldn't work properly, and they put me on a siding. I stayed there for days and days. Other engines were there too. I was afraid…" / "I'd have been frightened too," said Edward. (1960)
"The Fat Controller told Edward he was to run ahead of the special train to make sure that the line was clear. /"Does that mean...?" he asked excitedly. / "Wait and see," smiled the Fat Controller. (1995)
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so, this is something i've noticed in fandom spaces and want to see how people ~generally~ feel regarding genderbends & genderswaps, especially if they are transgender themselves!
if there's a reason for why you like/dislike genderbends please share in the tags, this is something that genuinely interests me
#polls#transgender#fandom#amuposting#this might've been done already but i'd like to see peoples opinions#i've heard different things from both sides and people close to me like or dislike them for different reasons#for reference this isn't referring to ''im trans and i hc this character as transfem/transmasc etc''#this is for posts/art like ''what if character was different gender'' and usually has a fem/masc design change to accompany it
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not gonna lie, i think i didn't "mature properly" the first time i went through (the wrong) puberty. transmasc puberty is making me smart and cool and handsome and more mature, i think
#void keith talks#silly#this is a jokey post but like. man. i didn't know shit at 7 or 12 or 16 at all#i was a very sheltered child and being autistic did NOT help my worldview. the internet sorta helped but also sorta didn't#at least not until i learned that most people scrounge around on the internet & post with some sort of *sarcasm and/or jokes#*usually jokes that i didn't get and had to look up because i was WAY behind my peers in discovering a majority of what you can do-#using the internet as a tool. so i definitely missed some things- some bad. some good. some just plain weird or spooky lol#while kids in 2015 were discovering undertale i was geeking out about the teenage mutant ninja turtles#honestly probably wouldn't have understood undertale at that point either?? there's so many nuances i ABSOLUTELY would've missed#i wouldn't be the same if i'd have discovered undertale back then. i'd probably be a much different person i think. anyways#(this post was inspired by finding some of my OLD old art from 2015 and before then also.)#void keith rambles in the tags#shitpost#shitposting#trans#transmasc#transgender#transmasculine
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all right i didn't write that much tonight BUT i did make a fake book cover for my fic on canva so that's a win
#if i had better graphic design skills i'd make it cooler but you know what#this is good enough for someone who is terrible at this medium lol#destiel lighthouse keepers au#(tell me if it's interesting? eye catching? and i may use it for the promo post)#it also kinda felt like the vibe rather than my typical fic banners because it's a vintage fic 1950s etc etc#and the prose is different from what i usually write
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Introductions ✨✨
Hey! I'm Coriander. It's not what I go by in my other blogs on here but I want to keep things a bit more separate, at least at first. This is gonna be a long one (sorry) so I'm adding a cut.
I'm exploring Hellenic polytheism, and have only recently started, but it's something I've been considering, in a way, for over a year. I don't have a big, intense story that marks the beginning for me; I didn't necessarily feel a personal, spiritual connection to any of the deities from the time I was a young child in the way others describe, and I haven't had an intense experience that marked the beginning of my path.
I've always felt drawn to Greek mythology, though. I have a distinct memory of laying on my stomach on the floor of the school library in 3rd or 4th grade, reading a picture book about Hades and Persephone. It kept my attention the way others - even Egyptian mythology, another major interest - didn't. I, of course, had the classic queer kid experience of being super into the Percy Jackson series for a while, but my interest in it predated that. The specific deities I've been drawn to have changed somewhat as I've grown up, and they definitely shaped some of my interests. But delving into them again has helped me see connections that weren't explicitly connected to Greek mythology. I felt drawn to Athena growing up, for example, and my love of owls was definitely shaped by that. Even though that has settled into the background somewhat, that connection has persisted in things like my knitting and desires to dye yarn and learn how to weave (side note: I associate crochet more with Apollo, actually, despite it also being a fiber art). I felt connected to Artemis and Persephone as a kid, but that waned as I got older, discovered I was trans, and began my transition. I've felt connected to Hestia and her quiet hearth-keeping since I learned about her: I've always strived to make myself & my space safe and welcoming for others, and being told I succeeded in that is one of the best compliments I've received. But my interests in the morbid (ex Pompeii & the Paris catacombs), psychopomps, rocks & minerals, and keys weren't explicitly related to Hades. Some of the connections didn't click until I started to look into him more seriously about a year ago. I was an artist and had interests in writing, poetry, singing, and playing instruments long before it actually clicked that all of those fell into Apollo's domain, as I associated Athena far more with visual arts as a kid. I also didn't realize that he & Artemis cover diseases (another long-running interest) until very recently. The concept of xenia, too, was something I grew up with to some extent, even though no one called it that. My father modelled it to my siblings and I; I even learned about it within the context of ancient Greece at some point growing up and it stuck with me, despite not knowing the name.
I grew up Mormon, and was incredibly devout until college, when the pandemic forcibly separated me from that environment and I not only discovered that I was queer in several ways, but realized that the Church 1) wasn't safe to stay in and 2) wasn't actually true (which came later, when I started to get over my fear of reading "anti-Mormon literature"). During that period between those two realizations I got into tarot and using plants and crystals for their correspondences (two other interests growing up), as well as using rocks to ground myself. At that time, I considered myself a "liminal Mormon", and was reaching out to Heavenly Mother specifically via tarot. But as it set in that Mormonism specifically, and Christianity generally, wasn't for me, I got more and more interested in modern witchcraft separated from the belief system I was raised in.
It never quite felt right, though. The constant need for protections and doing something "the right way" lest things backfire and you invite the wrong thing into your home, or hurt yourself, or others, or or or, made my anxious & scrupulous brain go into overdrive. I wasn't even sure I believed in it spiritually, or if I was just interested in it from a mindfulness standpoint, and staring down the barrel of comically high piles of research without knowing where to start was exhausting. The concept of dual deities, the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine, put a bad taste in my mouth (which bled over into Persephone for a while because she and Hades are often used to symbolize those archetypes- sorry Persephone). But, not wanting to listen too much to my discomfort (since part of it may have been, and probably was, prior conditioning), I pushed ahead and actually completed one ritual that had all of the steps - cleansing, representations of the four elements and directions, etc. - and was very carefully designed to leave room for growth and change. It represented the start of my path. I still have the jar I made during the ritual, though I'm still trying to figure out what to do with it.
Around that time, I was considering whether or not to work with deities- specifically Hades, as that was who I felt the most drawn to at the time. The idea interested me, but I wasn't sure if it was from an academic or spiritual angle. I'd really only seen deity work from a modern witchcraft/neo-pagan perspective which, again, didn't sit right with me. On top of that, I wasn't quite ready to let go of Christianity even though I already functionally had, and was terrified of doing something "wrong" and getting, for lack of a better term, sent to (figurative) hell. I decided to do a simple "yes/no" tarot pull and got about the clearest "no" you can get: a reversed Ace of Swords. So I decided to let it rest and that, if I ever felt drawn to it again, I could re-approach the topic.
So, for over a year, I didn't touch it. Continuing with witchcraft after the ritual didn't feel right, either, so my altar collected dust while I tried to sort out my spirituality (or lack thereof). I settled on "I don't know and that's okay" and left it at that, trusting that when the time came, and I had more energy and mental space, that I would be able to start looking into things again.
I never truly stopped thinking about the idea of deity work/worship, though. It was always in the back of my mind. I figured it was because of the way I was raised and tried to sever my idea of spirituality from how I was conditioned while I worked through my religious trauma, got on anxiety medication, and learned more about myself and how I interacted with the world (including that I have both ADHD and autism, something that surprised no one).
Recently I talked with a witchy friend about my thoughts on divinity and what is or isn't out there (neither of us were sure but we both felt like there was something), and that conversation gave me the button I needed to start looking into paganism again. I realized at work a week or two later that I could just look up the different paths of paganism (a term I'd recently heard that hadn't clicked before then) and see if there was one that did fit. The first site I found not only had a clear, concise explanation for belief systems I hadn't knowingly come across before, but it touched on Hellenic polytheism and gave a recommendation for someone to watch to learn more about it. And unlike the sharp knot in my chest that warned me away from attending BYU, and going on a mission, and delving further into modern witchcraft as I'd been introduced to it, learning about Hellenic polytheism felt right. It was heavy and grounding and like home. Many of the issues I'd had with other neo-pagan systems - the constant vigilance & protections & concerns over trickster spirits, for example - simply didn't exist there, or were approached very differently. I still had a mental block about it, though, and realized it was because of that tarot pull a year prior. So I did another one, and got a clear "Yes, jump right in. We're waiting for you". And that's where I've been since which, granted, hasn't been for very long. I've felt especially connected to Apollo and Aphrodite recently, who I believe reached out in a different tarot pull recently - using the same card, actually - which is interesting because while I've appreciated different ways Aphrodite has been depicted, I haven't felt very connected to her in a way I realized was her until recently. It makes sense, though- I got into my first relationship around the same time I did that ritual, and not only are we still together a year later, but a trinket I used to ground myself during those first few months is also pretty directly associated with her. I'm planning on adding it to her altar/shrine area as soon as I find it (it's also still amongst the moving wreckage).
But anyway, hi! If you read this far thank you for taking the time out of your day to do so. If anyone has recommendations for books or other educational resources, or discord servers/other online forum-esque communities, please feel free to share. I've been enjoying looking through the tags and getting a feel for the community here, too; hopefully I'm here to stay.
#one thing ive *really* appreciated is the “sin doesnt exist” thing. its something i realized i'd actually manage to mostly unlearn#by the time i was learning about cleanliness in a helpol context which was nice#in conclusion: im more sure of my spiritual path than i was several weeks ago which was nice#*is nice#and it's also nice having the space to try and let go of having to *know* what's going on in a cosmic/afterlife sense. i dont need to know#and that's *fine*. it's chill. its alright.#hellenic pagan#helpol#my post#coriander says#hellenic polytheism#hellenic polythiest#also: maybe hot take but i disagree w/ the concept of sex causing miasma. maybe in the sense of 'you should do more cleansing than usual#before making an offering' b/c yeah. its messy and there are bodily fluids involved. but it seems so wildly different#from the other causes of miasma & feels pretty purity culture-y tbh. maybe it#*it's just a holdover from the 'breaking the law of chastity is a sin next to murder' shit & i'll feel differently later. idk#christianity cw#mormonism cw#uh. i think that's it. lmk if i need to cw tag anything else but there's nothing glaringly obvious#*nothing else
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not to be a colossal fucking cowabummer about everything but it really does suck that like. my really chill and like. supposedly more realistic type of career goal feels about as unattainable as like a kid saying he wants to be a singer or something
#kazoo noises#like yeah this was supposed to be a job i COULD get. i thought bc like. i was going into the field bc i loved the work and not bc i couldnt#make it into academia (fuck u alt-ac term users yall are snobs) id like maybe be able to cobble it together bc like. im good at doing work.#i can usually make something happen and i got a good attitude. but jesus ive got one year left and every job app comes back negative if the#even bother to respond#like idk man. i knew iwasnt gonna be making money or shit and i knew it was gonna be rough but like. everyone else i meet already has a gig#or at least like gig adjacent. volunteer or field experience or internship and like. i cant get anything to stick. its not like ive done#nothing either? ive worked extensively with small scale exhibition design. i have worked extensively with special collections libraries.#i have literal years worth of research experience from college. i have an entirely customer service based resume thats not academic so i#can handle a patron (and crucially different from my peers: I WANT TO)#i can organize. i can write and design labels. i can communicate. i can handle special collections objects. i can make ANY microfilm reader#work for me even when it doesnt want to#and im not saying my classmates arent qualified. but like. surely this has to amount to something. i have been so stupidly lucky#to have even half the experiences i do. i have variety in my degree that even some of my classmates would kill for i think. i did. so much.#i have had so many advantages and i like to think i use them well and that i am grateful for them. but why cant i make that shit connect???#my resume is good. im reliable. i want to work more than anything. so why cant i get a call back???#legitimately how much longer do i get to keep telling myself i a not the common denominator here#sorry for diary posting but im prepping to walk to the house tour and planning what job apps i can fill out when i get back and literally.#just like. why do i bother. i should have just held my nose and done the online only program in state. i'd probably spend less time rotting#god being 23 fucking sucks. it is going to be better. im literally just barely an adult. this cant be it and it wont be it. but jesus. i go#over having to beg for a rejection letter about ten months ago when i still felt like i had a shot at these experiences
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Do you think the Demon Bull Family will enter the plot again? I think a lot of parallels between MK and Red Son have come around this season and it'd be interesting to explore
Oh please share your Red Son and MK related thoughts with me! I'm not quite sure what you're talking about specifically, but of course the DBK - Wukong / Red Son - MK parallel is always fun.
I don't think the Demon Bull Family will ever be shoved out of the plot entirely, at the VERY least we'll get something like how they were integrated in s4, but with Wukong, Macaque, and DBK all being previous members of the brotherhood I hope we get to explore their relationship a bit more!
I hold onto my crumbs, and so I remember Wukong's little "I've honestly missed that guy" from Revenge of the Spider Queen, and maybe deep down I want that to be explored. It seems like we're going to get into why Wukong stayed up on flower fruit mountain for all that time, and part of that might involve why he sealed DBK away/his feelings on that whole situation. And honestly if DBK is involved, then Red Son is involved. Red Son's admiration for his father is very similar to the admiration MK has for Monkey King, so maybe there's something to be explored there!
#god I should get into fic writing#I've started doing a lot of new things in the lmk fandom so maybe I add that to my list!#Like before this year I hadn't ever written a theory post or any form of meta or done gif making or even edited a video#But now I've tried all those things and I'm having fun!#I haven't written a single fanfic in my life but I have done rp. So maybe I give it a shot!#A convo of Red Son sharing his experiences with his father and MK reflecting on his experiences with Monkey King would be.#So spicy like I'm into that#I think anything I'd write would be very different from what the lmk fandom usually sees and a lot more like the fic from the tdp fandom#but that's just this whole blog asfadsf#look someone out there had to catalog all of the insane writing they shove into this stupid lego show. And after all why not?#Why shouldn't I spend way too much of my free-time doing exactly that?#Why shouldn't I throw all of my crack ideas out there?#asks#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk analysis#lmk speculation#ummm yeah sure#idk what to tag this post
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IMAGES FROM DÓRVEROLD | ft. delwyn, rin, chiyoko, and cyrillo
" you're taking me with you? " chiyo asked, eyes a little wide and voice a little high. " but i'm-- my magic's not that good yet. " cyrillo tutted and threw an arm around the blonde, squeezing her into his side. " oh, cara mia, you don't give yourself enough credit! and anyway, i'll be coming, too. there's not so much pressure now, eh? " that didn't appear to comfort chiyo quite as much as he'd hoped; still she frowned, brow furrowed as she looked to delwyn and then rin. neither of their expressions changed ( rin looked pleased as ever ), though the prince would not make eye contact with her. chiyo could only imagine he did not want her coming, either, but he knew she needed to come regardless of any reservations the two of them had. no matter how green a mage she was, chiyo was god-touched like rin. they couldn't afford to leave her behind. rin stepped forward, physically waving away her worry. " look, those rich snobs would marvel at the simplest spell. you'll be fine. " chiyo sighed, leaned her head back. she could spy cyrillo's smile from the corner of her eye. oh, this was going to suck without a doubt, but maybe she could run away from the festivities after an hour. that would be fair, right? " ...i don't even own a fancy dress. " the vampire grinned beside her, gave her another gentle squeeze. " leave that to me. "
pg. 1/?
#visuals | chiyoko#visuals | rin#visuals | cyrillo#visuals | delwyn#chasing tomorrow | isekai | dórverold | chiyoko#me accidentally making chiyo part of the main story kinda?? yeah ASDFG#also cyrillo is a bit darker than that skin tone but picrews rarely have the skintone range i'd like :((#and i cannot decide if i like rin's hair or not bc this picrew didn't exactly have her hairstyle but like!! the freckles!! the expression!!#i had to make her anyway :' ))#also look at my boy del... oh i smooch 'em#ALSO i dunno what's up with the blurb bc it doesn't even really relate to the images but i?? wanted to do something different#from my usual quote that i tack onto visual posts#it's possible i'll edit this later but!! for now i hope y'all enjoy hehe
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I miss when Hulu used to have a comments section under every video, there was always something interesting (in a human behavior curiosity kind of way) about scrolling down to see usually an absolutely ridiculous collection of people having a rowdy open forum discussion about something you just watched that you had a completely neutral non-reaction to
#unfortunately - everything still trends toward homogenization#people especially tech comanies can't just have their own fucign unique thing. they have to look and act like every other service#to ''''compete''' apparently (even though like... wouldn't having unique features be instead a NOVEL draw to your specific product? wouldn't#you want to stand out???)#Like OKCupid completely over-simplfying their site into bare bones sleek nothingness and taking away all the features that made it unique#in any way (high customization - various personality ranking scales and a LOT of various visible data/information) .. because oh yeah#actually we have to be tinder and just quick emoji blurb swipe swipe#Hulu trying to be netflix and taking away anything that made it stand out in any posiive way (comments section.. other things that I forget#since I've been using it since like 2009 or something)#Youtube.... everything youtube does.... god.......#All social media sites are exactly the same now with extremely minor differences and even then still frequently implement samey#features to try and close those differences#etc. etc.#ANYWAY . i think also the hulu comments sections were facebook linked - like..one of the ways you could actually verify yourself to#leave a comment was having a facebook login (AT LEAST in like 2010.. I don't remember if they changed this at some point)#so you could also usually (I think..?? again.. if I'm rmembering correclty) you could get to someone's facebook profile#from the comments section sometime. I used to watch stuff and then scroll down to see what The Masses were saying and sometimes#someone's comment would be so strange I'd like.. go investigate them as a person#see what type of posts they make on their personal facebook which was always way too public with none of their information#privated of course lol
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Tracing for fun (?) from Transformers Galaxies #6, for a friend, it seems. If I got traced art from a friend I think I’d drop them. But that’s whatever because
Bruh not SPECIFICALLY the ghost recon M40A5 render… why is the person gripping it by the bipod 😭 PLEASE
Edit: a friend noted, since that this image is flipped, the bolt handle (because this is a bolt action rifle) is on the wrong side. Incredible
Hey, different post than usual, but this is just a PSA for people who may follow or have purchased anything from @/kagebros, or are looking to join any of the zines run by them @/allsparkzines. They have a history (and present) of tracing for profit.
I don’t think this one requires an overlay. It’s a trace of the yolopark bumblebee shockwave model kit promotional image, as a “sketch”.
Which they changed, once people noticed it! Changed most of it. They traced a different promotional image for the gun, which remained largely the same, even in the final piece (right).
Their matching Optimus Prime poster is a trace of the still from a [ Paramount promo video ], 36 seconds in.
There are several other examples that I can’t fit into this post without making it overly long, but if you have purchased or have been gifted anything from them, there is a chance it has been traced.
Regarding tracing as a tool:
Go hogwild! Trace all you want! Tracing is a very useful tool for learning shapes and forms, but like any other tool, it’s only useful if you use it correctly. The ultimate goal of tracing is to understand. It’s training wheels. Just don’t hide and lie about it, because as soon as you do, it becomes plagiarism.
Even within the finished versions of the Shockwave poster, it’s still clear where parts have been traced or copied without understanding. It’s a shame, because transformers as a franchise having so many toys makes it very easy to make references!
Here's an example of how I use them:
Luckily for me, the Cybertron toys and models are more or less exactly the same. I don't own the toys, so I have two images from a [ toy reviewer ] on top. Many angles to help me understand exactly what's happening. Granted, I could just ask my friend who does own the toy for him in the same pose, but tracing over that directly would make it too stiff and it wouldn't mesh with my style.
TL;DR: Kage traces, blindly and without disclosure, for profit.
#kagebros#not art#sorry to bring this monster of a post back but#the bipod? why not the. I don’t know. the grip? grip the grip?#most m40a5s are equipped with swivel bipods iirc not sure if that’s the best way to hold it#and usually sniper rifles don’t have foregrips in the same way that#regular rifles do#the forestock is usually textured for this reason#sigh. the bipod doesn’t even look fun to hold. probably because it wasn’t made to be#world’s worst way to one hand a firearm#real shit tho copying the panel is... much different from copying a toy#but I don't think I need to tell you that#Also: I have you unblocked so if you wanna talk#feel free to dm me! i'm not wholly unreasonable#I'd love to hear what you have to say#tfcon#tfcon baltimore
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(half rant half story)
I'm a physicist. I work for a company that helps develop car parts. Essentially, car companies come to us with ideas on what they want from a part or material, and we make/test the idea or help them make/test it. Usually this means talking to other scientists and engineers and experts and it's all fine. Sometimes this means talking to businesspeople and board execs and I hate them
A bit ago when AI was really taking off in the zeitgeist I went to a meeting to talk about some tweaks Car Company A wanted to make to their hydraulics- specifically the master cylinder, but it doesn't super matter. I thought I'd be talking to their engineers - it ends up being just me, their head supervisor (who was not a scientist/engineer) and one of their executives from a different area (also not a scientist/engineer). I'm the only one in the room who actually knows how a car works, and also the lowest-level employee, and also aware that these people will give feedback to my boss based on how I 'represent the company ' whilst I'm here.
I start to explain my way through how I can make some of the changes they want - trying to do so in a way they'll understand - when Head Supervisor cuts me off and starts talking about AI. I'm like "oh well AI is often integrated into the software for a car but we're talking hardware right now, so that's not something we really ca-"
"Can you add artificial intelligence to the hydraulics?"
"..sorry, what was that?"
"Can you add AI to the hydraulics system?"
can i fucking what mate "Sir, I'm sorry, I'm a little confused - what do you mean by adding AI to the hydraulics?"
"I just thought this stuff could run smoother if you added AI to it. Most things do"
The part of the car that moves when you push the acceleration pedal is metal and liquid my dude what are you talking about "You want me to .add AI...to the pistons? To the master cylinder?"
"Yeah exactly, if you add AI to the bit that makes the pistons work, it should work better, right?"
IT'S METAL PIPES it's metal pipes it's metal pipes "Sir, there isn't any software in that part of the car"
"I know, but it's artificial intelligence, I'm sure there's a way to add it"
im exploding you with my mind you cannot seriously be asking me to add AI to a section of car that has as much fucking code attached to it as a SOCK what do you MEAN. The most complicated part of this thing is a SPRING you can't be serious
He was seriously asking. I've met my fair share of idiots but I was sure he wasn't genuinely seriously asking that I add AI directly to a piston system, but he was. And not even in the like "oh if we implement a way for AI to control that part" kind of way, he just vaguely thought that AI would "make it better" WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEANNNNN I HAD TO SPEND 20 MINUTES OF MY HARD EARNED LIFE EXPLAINING THAT NEITHER I NOR ANYONE ELSE CAN ADD AI TO A GOD DAMNED FUCKING PISTON. "CAN YOU ADD AI TO THE HYDRAULICS" NO BUT EVEN WITHOUT IT THAT METAL PIPE IS MORE INTELLIGENT THAN YOU
Posted by admin Rodney.
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how to start reading again
from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.
start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.
don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.
go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.
remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)
analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.
read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.
finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.
try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.
forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.
remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!
stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.
#louisa-gc#academia#studyblr#aesthetic#book#books#reading#read#advice#help#university#study#uni#library#bibliophile#it girl#that girl#habits#booktok#booktube#bookstagram
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