#this is becoming a tag now because I keep doing it
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One of the things they went over when I took linguistics was the "euphemism treadmill", the tendency of initially-clinical or neutral words to undergo pejoration to the point that someone felt the need to replace the pejorated word with one that was clinical or neutral. And then of course the process of pejoration would start again.
The best example of this were words related to what we now call intellectual disability. In the past, "idiot", "simpleton", "moron", "feeble-minded", and "imbecile" were all relatively clinical terms. (This is one of those things that's often repeated, but if you go looking at newspapers from the 1920s, you do kind of wonder whether the negative connotations were just completely acceptable then, especially when they're talking about the successes of sterilizing the feeble-minded.)
The reason that pejoration happens is that while the word changes, the societal attitude toward the underlying thing most often does not, and so if they change the word and declare that this new word is totally neutral, then society's negative view is just going to keep making those words take on bad connotations. This will happen even with the most anodyne descriptions, like "mentally handicapped", which Google will inform you with a little warning is offensive and dated.
The linguistics class I took in the early 2000s spent a little time on the word "retarded", which by then was well on its way to complete pejoration (federal law was changed in 2010, from "mental retardation" to "intellectual disability"), but had not reached the point when it was "the r-slur". If I recall correctly, this was when "mentally handicapped" was still relatively in vogue, and sitting in that classroom I had thought that "retard" was going to go the way of "moron", a word that was used exclusively in a disparaging way. I thought it would be about as acceptable as calling someone an imbecile, I guess, which is impolite but which doesn't rise to the level of "slur".
But no, I was wrong. The euphemism treadmill will probably continue because we have not done anything about the underlying condition (that people with intellectual disabilities are less valued and looked down on), but "retard" has now become a slur, even if every other fucking word for low intelligence is still in common use as a disparagement.
It's wild how much you can see people dancing around this. I said above that Google gives an "offensive and outdated" tag to the term "mentally handicapped", but they also give that to "retarded". However, if you go to "imbecile" they don't give that tag. To save you the trouble of looking it up:
noun:Â imbecile;Â plural noun:Â imbeciles
a stupid person.
archaic a person of low intelligence.
Ah, lovely. So it's okay, because it just means "a stupid person", it used to mean "a person of low intelligence", but it doesn't mean that any more, so ... not offensive, I guess?
Except hold on, what does "stupid" mean again?
adjective:Â stupid;Â comparative adjective:Â stupider;Â superlative adjective:Â stupidest
having or showing a great lack of intelligence or common sense.
Oh, okay, I see. So in the archaic sense "imbecile" meant a person of low intelligence, but now it means a person who has a lack of intelligence. Totally different, very understandable. Nevermind that "imbecile" was pejorated in the same way that "retard" was, and that using a negative word to refer to someone who is lacking intelligence is basically the same thing.
I think if you want to fight against the pejorative use of the word "retard", you should probably be fighting against a lot more words, and you should definitely be fighting against the societal view that people with lower intelligence are lesser. You can fight the language issue all you want, but it's just going to lead to more cycles of pejoration. There's no way that switching over to saying "person with a learning disability" (as it seems the UK bureaucrats now favor) is going to somehow end it.
Personally, I'm the kind of person who just goes with the flow. I think people with intellectual disabilities are just as much people as anyone else, deserving of care and compassion, but I also value intelligence at least as much as my surrounding society does, and while I do make attempts to temper my language, saying that an idea is stupid rather than casting contempt on a person who is stupid, that's a mighty fine line to tow, and ... people just don't care. If I call a politician a moron, no one will bat an eye. I will refrain from saying the r-word, because people get mad at you when you do that. I think if I got hit in the head tomorrow and became intellectually disabled, I would be more or less happy with this.
I don't have a strong principled stance, more a stance of "come on, what are we doing here". Euphemism treadmill goes brrrr, language gonna language, I just wish the whole linguistic and social process didn't feel like some out of control machine that wasn't actually doing anything for anyone, and that people would pay more attention to the underlying mechanisms for how/why pejoration actually works. Changing the word is not going to usher in an era of understanding and equality, we've proven that, haven't we?
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PRICE OF FAME | MYG â
02
â§Â PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader
â§Â SERIES SUMMARY: You were about ready to give up, your career nowhere near what you dreamed itâd be when you started at eighteen, bright-eyed and naive. Reality for you these past few years has consisted of pouting at a camera, ignoring whispers of your name at company events, and ensuring that the stupid, tiny designer purses they keep forcing on you can at least carry a flask. But now, youâre helping a friend in need. For the first time in a long time, it feels like youâre doing something worthwhile with your life. Too bad Min Yoongi, the newest thorn in your side, seems insistent on stopping you.
â§Â SERIES TAGS: enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, smut, fake/pretend relationship (not main couple), rockstar!yoongi, model!reader, guitarist yoongi, singer jungkook, bassist taehyung, drummer jimin, manager namjoon, yoongi & maknae line are in a rock band, reader & seokjin are best friends, yoongi & hoseok are best friends (sope duo ftw), yoongi has a tongue piercing, reader is a brat
â§Â CHAPTER WARNINGS: aqua uses her journalism degree to write a fake article, lots of yoongi pov, MC lore drop, extremely brief descriptions of sexual acts, some questions are answered but not many, sope cameo! also seokjin cameo! do you detect a hint of hyyh yoonkook-ism? because you should! EVENTS TRANSPIRE! (see series masterlist for series warnings)
â§Â CHAPTER WORDCOUNT: 5.2k words
â§Â AUTHORâS NOTE: damn i always drop early don't i? here's a pre-holiday gift for those of you who celebrate thanksgiving. thank you to tanni @yooniivrse for beta reading SO FUCKING FAST LOL <3
p.s. from here on out updates are going to be much slower. weâre getting to the Real Plot now and i have to use my brain a little bit more. plus i want to make time to write other, shorter things! so be sure to check out my other fics if waiting for this becomes unbearable lol
CH. 02: A HIT IS HARD TO RESIST
Love in the Spotlight: Is "Burn The Stage" Singer Falling for a Scandal Magnet?
Itâs the love story thatâs rocking Seoulâand leaving fans divided. Jeon Jeongguk, the smooth-talking, chart-topping frontman of âBurn The Stage,â has been the subject of intense speculation after rumors surfaced that heâs been secretly seeing one of South Koreaâs most talked about models, YLN YN. And while Jeonggukâs millions of fans would do anything to claim him as their own, itâs YNâs wild reputation thatâs making this relationship one to watch.
The dating rumors of the two surfaced online when YN was seen on the balcony at Wasteland during the final show of the Burn The Stageâs world tour. Eyewitnesses claim that after the show, the two were spotted backstage together, sharing a private moment.
While Jeonggukâs image has been polished and pristine despite his rock star persona, YNâs name is frequently linked with controversy. From a string of public feuds with fellow influencers to rumors of reckless behavior, she has garnered a reputation for attracting scandal wherever she goesâa trait at odds with what fans have seen from Jeongguk. So what could possibly draw the two together?
Some fans are already sounding the alarm, warning Jeongguk that dating someone like YN could tarnish his squeaky-clean image.
âI donât know why Jeongguk would choose her,â one concerned fan commented on Instagram. âSheâs trouble, and heâs too good for her. His image will be ruined if this is true.â
Despite the criticism, others are rallying behind the couple, suggesting that Jeongguk may be the one to help YN change her ways. âEveryone has a past,â one fan posted on X (formerly known as Twitter). âMaybe Jeongguk sees something in her that no one else does. People can grow and evolve.â
While neither Jeongguk or YNâs companies have released an official statement on the matter, YN hasnât been shy about fueling the rumors. In a recent post on her Instagram, she shared a photo of herself wearing a Burn The Stage hoodie, captioning it, âi guess iâve got good taste đâ which has sent fans into overdrive speculating that sheâs sending a not-so-subtle message about her relationship with Jeongguk.
âYouâve gotta be fucking kidding me,â Yoongi groans to himself. He canât read any more of this drivel. The wooden table in front of him suddenly looks all too inviting, perfect for him to bash his skull into.
Youâre everywhere, completely inescapable for the past week. Apparently, Yoongiâs bi-weekly breakfast with Hoseok is no exception. The first one theyâve been able to have since the tour, too. God forbid he wants to mindlessly scroll on his phone for a second while he waits for his friend to return, because there you are, taunting him.Â
After the concert, Yoongi had been so annoyed by seeing you again. Pissed off at the circumstances. Ready to do anything in his power to extricate you from Jeongguk as fast as possible.
The past week has dulled his rage considerably. The endorphins of playing live have died, as have the potent emotions that come with them. Yoongiâs logical adult brain has set in, leaving him with only a headache.
âWoah,â Hoseok says, snorting as he slides a coffee into Yoongiâs field of vision. He slips into the booth across from him, taking a sip from his own cup with an amused look on his face. âYou look much more homicidal than I left you. What couldâve possibly pissed you off in the last five minutes?â
Wordlessly, Yoongi hands Hoseok his phone, the article still displayed on the screen. Hoseok silently reads the first few paragraphs, and when he scrolls back up to look at the photo attached, his eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
âOh?â he says, zooming in on your face. On Yoongiâs phone. The audacity. âThis is the Innisfree girl, right? Sheâs dating Jeongguk?â
âAllegedly.â
âIs her skin really that nice in person?â
âNot the point,â Yoongi hisses, snatching his phone back from Hoseokâs grip and hastily closing the article to get your dumb face off of his phone. Dumb, poreless face.
âOkay, touchy,â Hoseok says, raising his hands in surrender. âPlease explain the point.â
âI donât trust her,â Yoongi says, tapping his foot under the table. âThe relationship is bogus. Sheâs after something, I just canât figure out what it is.â
âAnd youâre basing this onâŠ?â
âIntuition,â Yoongi says flatly.
âRight. Because your intuition is never wrong,â Hoseok says, tone laden with sarcasm. âNeed I remind you that you werenât the biggest fan of me when we met?â
âI thought you were annoying,â Yoongi agrees. He takes a sip of his coffee to mask a smirk. âWho says I was wrong about that?â
âIâd probably be hurt if you hadnât essentially bought us couple rings last year,â Hoseok says, waggling his eyebrows. âYou want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.â
âAish, they werenât couple rings,â Yoongi complains. âStop saying that. The wrong person is going to hear you and think itâs true.â
âYour ears are pink!â Hoseok exclaims triumphantly, pointing at the evidence. âYour mouth says one thing, but your ears always give you away.â
âIâm going to kill you,â Yoongi grumbles, pulling his beanie down. âStop changing the subject.â
âRight, right. Sorry, hyung, youâre just so easy to tease,â Hoseok says, not even bothering to stifle his snickering. The bastard. âJeonggukieâs new lady love. Go. Wait, do you want to fuck her?â
âWhat?â Yoongi sputters, eyes widening because what the fuck? âNoâwhat? Look, itâs not just intuition, okay? Iâm right about her. And you saw what the article saidâdrama follows her wherever she goes. Maybe she thinks dating Jeongguk will rehabilitate her image, or something like that.â
Yoongi had been so confident that wasnât the case, since youâve maintained all of your brand deals even in the midst of your many scandals, but maybe he was wrong. He still doesnât know why youâre doing this, and itâs like the closer he gets, the less he can see.
âI donât know,â Yoongi groans, rubbing his hands over his face. âSheâs also just a bitch.â
âOkay,â Hoseok concedes, crossing his arms. âIf you say so. Sheâs a bitch who you donât want to fuck. What are you going to do about it?â
Yoongi shrugs. âI have that dinner tomorrow night. I was thinking of talking to Jeongguk after or something.â
âAnd telling him that his girlfriend is the devil? Iâm sure thatâll go over well.â
âIâll figure it out,â Yoongi sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. âJeongguk is a stubborn kid, but he knows I wouldnât ruin something good for him. If I word it right, maybe heâll listen.â
âYouâre not wrong. For whatever reason, Jeongguk trusts your judgement.â
Yoongi glares at him. âGo fuck yourself, Hob-ah.â
âWhatever, hyung,â Hoseok says, rolling his eyes. âLetâs talk about something else, please. I havenât seen you in months.â
Yoongi relents easily. He doesnât really want to be talking about you either, not when it feels like an ice pick is being jammed into his temple.Â
Heâll just have to figure out what to say to Jeongguk later.
â
â
â
âWow,â Seokjin says around a mouthful of jjapaguri. âHe really hates you, huh?â
Heâs fresh out of a long shift at the hospital, but he still headed straight to your apartment at the promise of food and celebrity gossipâhis two biggest weaknesses, especially when the food doesnât have to be made by him and the celebrity is you.
âSeems like it,â you sigh, using your chopsticks to push your noodles around aimlessly. âNormally I wouldnât care, you know? Like, get in line, asshole.â
âBut you care.â
âBut I care.â
âBecause of Jeongguk,â Seokjin says knowingly.
You drop your chopsticks and groan, stifling the sound by covering your face with your hands.
âYes,â you concede. âBut not because of that. I just want to help him, you know? He got me through a really rough spot last year. Iâd feel like shit if I agreed to do this for him and then it ended up blowing up in our faces because of me.â
âMmm,â Seokjin hums, chewing thoughtfully. âIâm sure the fact that youâre in love with him is a big motivator, though.â
You pick up your head, glaring at him. âLove is a big word, Jin.â
A very big word, you think, picking up your glass of wine to take a long gulp. God help you.
âA fitting one, too!â he says gleefully. âCome oooon. No judgement here. Heâs hot. Not as hot as me, of course, but I have to give credit where credit is due.â
âYes, youâre a god among men,â you mumble, rolling your eyes. âI donât love Jeongguk. Not like that, at least. Do I need to remind you of the whole reason Iâm doing this in the first place?â
âYeah, yeah, the secret girlfriend,â Seokjin says, waving a hand dismissively. âWhatever. Youâre spending a lot of time with him, is all Iâm saying. The tides may turn in your favor.â
Wow, and you thought you were delusional.
âFat chance,â you deadpan, polishing off your wine. âEspecially if Yoongi is as persistent as heâs making himself out to be.â
âWhatâs his beef with you, anyway?â Seokjin asks, snorting to himself as he picks up a piece of steak with his chopsticks. Hilarious. âI feel like heâs going a little far for it to just be protectiveness, you know?â
Right. When youâd given Seokjin the rundown via text, youâd left one pretty substantial piece of information out.
âHe said, um,â you start, picking at one of your nails nervouslyâa habit that Hyerin would smack you on the back of the head for, if she were here. âHe said that he knows⊠more than I think.â
Just like that, all of the humor drains from Seokjinâs expression. âMeaningâŠ?â
âI donât know,â you say, your voice wobbling just a bit. âI donât know, but if it does mean that⊠It makes the idea of rolling over and doing what he says pretty enticing, not gonna lie.â
âFuck that,â Seokjin says firmly, your eyes widening in response. âIf heâs the type of guy to use something like that as blackmail, then heâs a piece of shit. I donât care if he is trying to protect Jeongguk.â
âHe canât know, though,â you groan, fully resting your head on the cool marble of your kitchen countertop now.Â
Youâve been wracking your brain for days now, trying to figure out if itâs even possible for Yoongi to know anything. Youâre pretty confident the answer is no, but thereâs no way to be one-hundred percent sure without confirmation from the man himself. And youâd honestly rather die.
âNobody knows except the people involved and you. Youâre the only one who didnât sign an NDA, and Iâm pretty confident youâve never met Min Yoongi. Not to mention you just wouldnâtââ
âShare that information? Hell no, I wouldnât,â Seokjin interrupts, scoffing. âOkay, well⊠Regardless of whether he knows anything, he honestly just sounds like a dick and I think you should kill him.â
You snort, lifting your eyes to look at him from where your head rests on the counter. âMaybe that can be plan B,â you offer.
âFine, then whatâs the plan A?â Seokjin counters, crossing his arms and raising a conspiratorial eyebrow at you.
Fantastic question, one youâve been thinking about the answer to since you abruptly left the afterparty that night. Itâs not like you can tell Jeongguk whatâs going on and risk having to tell him the whole truth. You trust Jeongguk, butâŠ
No, itâs not an option. You donât want anyone else to know. So, if Yoongiâs going to insist on being a problem for you, you might as well return the favor. Itâs only fair.
You grin, lifting your head and leaning closer to Seokjin.
âIâm going to make his life a living hell.â
â
â
â
Yoongi hasnât touched a cigarette since he was twenty one years old.
He picked up the nasty habit at sixteen, when one of his friends doled out African Ice Jacks amongst the group, bragging that his hyung had bought the pack for him. As soon as the lighter was flicked on and the bittersweet taste of bubblegum and tobacco filled Yoongiâs lungs, he was hooked.
It was stupidly easy to get his hands on cigarettes before he was of legal age, even when his friendâs hyung couldnât supply them for whatever reason. All of the adults around him smoked, including his parents.Â
It felt as though cigarettes were an extension of his hand, felt wrong when he didnât have the option to light one up. During school hours, Yoongiâs fingers would twitch on his desk as he waited for his last class to end.
He was a fucking anxious, wound-up kid. Smoking was the only thing that helped, sometimes. If he had a shit day, at least he could have a cigarette.
When the band got signed, though, things changed. Despite the fact that the majority of the population in Korea smoked, celebrities were vilified for it in the media. For whatever fucking reason. Yoongi didnât care much what the media had to say about him, but he reasoned that it would be pretty stupid to let his dream die over Ice Jacks. So he quit.
It was hard at first, but itâs been five years now. After so much time, itâs rare that cigarettes even cross his mind, even when others smoke around him.
Sitting across the table from you now, though, Yoongiâs fingers twitch just like they had when he was in grade school staring at a clock.
He and the band started frequenting Yoojung Sikdang long before there was any real hope for fame. It was their chosen spot after every practice. The ajumma who owns it knows their names, remembers their orders by heart. Over the years, the only part of the restaurant thatâs changed is their autographed photos on the wall. Theyâve celebrated every single milestone here, big or small, just the five of them. Alone.
Wrapping up their first world tour should be no different. Itâs their biggest milestone yet, and all Yoongi wanted was to eat ssambap with his best friends. Remind himself that none of the fame matters as long as they still have this.
But here you are. Of course. Encroaching on everything Yoongiâs built, everything he holds dear to his heart.
The only time itâs ever been more than the five of them here was the night they signed their contract, accompanied by two label executives. Even if youâre allegedly riding Jeonggukâs dick, no way are you that fucking important.
Yoongi would laugh if he wasnât so pissed off. You are such a fucking pest. He just canât shake you off.
âYou donât like what you ordered?â Jimin asks you, snapping Yoongi out of his thoughts.
Yoongiâs made an effort to keep to himself for the majority of the dinner. No use in ruining everyone elseâs nightâitâs still a special one, after all. Besides, heâs still trying to be an adult about things. You may have ruined his plan to talk to Jeongguk tonight, but itâs not like heâs going to cause a scene in front of a restaurant full of peopleâ
âOh, Iâm just not very hungry,â you say. Yoongiâs eyes narrow.
All youâve been doing all night is burrowing into Jeonggukâs side, barely touching your food. Lipgloss still perfectly in place. Normally, Yoongi wouldnât careâheâs not paying for it. He wastes food on the labelâs dime all the time. At Yoojung Sikdang, though?
âWhy did you come, then?âÂ
The words come out of Yoongiâs mouth before he can stop them, sharp and pointed. Heâd fully intended to keep his mouth shut, eat his food, and then go home. Maybe buy a pack on the way. But now theyâre out there, and Yoongi canât bring himself to care. Certainly not to feel bad.
For the first time since youâd walked in on Jeonggukâs arm, you make eye contact with him. On purpose this timeâchallenging. Yoongiâs not a little bitch, so he stares back.Â
âBecause Jeonggukie invited me,â you say, faux sweetness dripping from your words as you lean your head on Jeonggukâs shoulder. Eyes still fixed on Yoongi. âI figured it would be okay, since you all gave me such a warm welcome last time.â
Yeah. Yoongiâs buying that pack of cigarettes.Â
âYouâre always welcome to come out with us,â Taehyung coos, like he thinks youâre the cutest thing in the world. Knowing Taehyung, he probably does.
Everyone seems to be in agreement on that front, too, except Yoongi who rolls his eyes as he shoves a ssam into his mouth. Whatever.
âItâs gonna be hell getting you out of here, though,â Namjoon adds from Yoongiâs left. He leans over to glance at the crowd of people peering through the front of the restaurant, cameras at the ready, desperate to get a glimpse of you and Jeongguk. Not that youâre making it particularly hard.
âWeâve never had a crowd like that out there,â Jimin says, in awe. âIâm not surprised, though. Those articles about you two have been getting tons of clicks.â
âAh,â you say. If Yoongi didnât know better, heâd think you sound almost sheepish. âThat, um. That might be my fault. I told my manager I was coming here. She mustâve tipped someone off.â
Of course.
âAnything for a photo-op, right?â Yoongi sneers, unable to help himself. Itâs such an easy shot, after all. Youâre being so transparent.
âHyung,â Taehyung says, eyes wide as if heâs appalled.Â
âIâm sorry, Yoongi-ssi,â you say, tilting your head at him. That little flash of a challenge is still in your eyes, and Yoongi doesnât like it one bit. âDo you have a problem with me being here?â
Yoongi scoffs, sitting up. When he speaks, itâs laced with bitterness. âWe just donât normally come here with guests, thatâs all. I guess I didnât get the memo that thatâd suddenly changed.â
âI invited her, hyung,â Jeongguk says. âSheâs my girlfriend.â He wraps his arm around you protectively and, fuck, youâre good. Youâre so good at making Yoongi look like the asshole.
âI get that, Guk-ah,â Yoongi tries, his voice considerably softer now. âBut, come on⊠Here? And the mob outside, I mean⊠Do you really think that was just a harmless mistake?â
âWhat are you implying?â Jeongguk grits out. Heâs angry now, that much is clear, and itâs Yoongiâs fault.Â
You have him trapped. Heâs surrounded by landmines, unable to come up with a single response that could possibly defuse them.
âCome on, guys,â Namjoon says, glancing at Yoongi pointedly. âWeâre here to celebrate.â
âIf Yoongi-ssi is uncomfortable that Iâm here, maybe I should go,â you say, making to get up.
Jeongguk reaches for your arm, stopping you. âNo,â he says. âYoongi-hyung, you can either get over it and stay with us, or you can leave. Youâre the only one who doesnât want her here.â
Un-fucking-believable.
âAre you serious?â Yoongi scoffs, looking around at everyone. Is this really happening to him right now? This is his band!
The table is deadly silent. Everyone refuses to meet Yoongiâs eyes except you and Jeongguk, who raises a challenging eyebrow at him. Itâs immediately apparent to Yoongi that heâs not winning this one. That somehow, heâs ruined the night meant to celebrate him and his friends.
Bitterly, Yoongi laughs. âFine.â
No one protests when he pushes his chair away from the table and stands up, and that stings much more than Yoongi would like to admit.
He catches your eye as he grabs his jacket off the back of his chair, anger flaring at how pleased you look.Â
âHave a nice fucking dinner,â Yoongi mutters, before turning on his heel and walking towards the door. Leaving his friends to face a crowd of photographers and fans that you called.
As he walks out into the cold, dodging the phones being shoved in his face, all he can think about is the way Jeongguk had looked at him.
â
â
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You met Jeon Jeongguk a year ago, give or take a few months. You just remember it was cold.
Less than twenty-four hours after a particularly nasty breakup with a guy you didnât love but liked enough, you were back on the clock. Zipped into something tight and expensive, wearing the best waterproof mascara money could buy.
You hated those events to begin withâthe galas, end of year ceremonies for awards you were no longer viable to win. They were torture for you. But the sting of being freshly single only made things worse, so you had decided to make the most of it.
You may not have been able to win a KMA, but you were well within your rights to treat the KMAs themselves like your own personal dating pool. No better way to rid yourself of your ex like getting with someone new, you thought.
Which is where Jeongguk came in, devastatingly hot in his tailored suit. Youâd ran into him on your way from the bathroomâmuch like you had with Yoongi, now that you think about itâand you instantly found yourself wondering what it would be like to kiss a guy with a lip ring. Jeongguk, as it turned out, was very interested in showing you.Â
You were both a little drunk, but the attraction was real. Instant.Â
One very handsy cab ride later, and you were in his apartment, grinding on his lap as you experienced first-hand just how little of an obstacle a lip ring can be if the man who has it knows what heâs doing.
Things were going so wellâJeonggukâs tongue exploring your mouth as you felt his cock stiffening beneath you. But it all came crashing down as soon as his hand slid under your dress.
The fact of the matter was, youâd just been dumped. Regardless of how strongly you did or didnât feel about your ex, youâd still been dumped and it still hurt. As soon as Jeongguk really touched you, it became all too apparent that you wouldnât be able to go through with it. Luckily, at the slightest bit of hesitance from you, Jeonggukâs hand immediately retreated from under your dress.Â
He was sweet about it. Really, really sweet. Valiantly ignored his erection and offered to listen instead, which made you laugh. Comforted you even though you hadnât thought you needed it. Let you sleep in his bed anyway. When you left the next morning, kindly offered to be your friend, because you clearly needed one.
Youâve been friends ever since.Â
Not in the same way that Seokjin is your friend, of course. Seokjin is your best friend, has been since you were both kids. But Jeongguk just⊠He gets the industry, in a way that Seokjin never will.
Which brings you to last month.
Last month, when Jeongguk called you nervously in the middle of his tour schedule. Asked you to be his fake girlfriend in guilty, hushed whispers.
You didnât need to know why. You were always going to say yes.Â
But Jeongguk explained anyway. He explained that he has a girlfriend, a real girlfriend, who isnât from your world. That he hasnât been able to see her nearly as much as heâd like to because heâs terrified of the backlash she could receive from being connected to him romantically.
You read between the linesâyou have nothing to lose, at this point. There isnât a day that goes by where someone online doesnât have something to say about you, reputable or not.
He explained that in order to maintain the lie, no one in the industry could know the truth, not even Jeonggukâs bandmates. According to him, they wouldnât understand why he felt the need to go to such lengths. You didnât completely agree then, but having met Yoongi now, you get it.
His girlfriend knows about you, heâd told you. She knows who you are, knows about that night last year, and that she still agreed to let him ask you this. She doesnât see you as a threat.
It stung, a little. Of course it did. You and Jeongguk may be friends, but youâve always felt a hint of something else there. Maybe it was the kindness heâd shown you when you met. Maybe itâs just him. But you never said anything, convinced it was one-sided.
Clearly you were right.
Still, you want to do this for him. You care about him, and just because you canât maintain a stable relationship doesnât mean Jeongguk doesnât deserve a chance at one.
You think, if Yoongi knew, heâd feel the same.
â
â
â
Five years down the drain, Yoongi thinks. Ashes his cigarette. Oh well.
Honestly, itâs not even really about you, although Yoongi would love to pretend otherwise. If he pins it all on you, it makes his mission to get rid of you all the more noble. The label breathing down his neck. The impending deadline of an album he doesnât know if he can write. Dongsaengs that donât know how to stay out of trouble. If itâs all your fault, it canât be his.
Thisâthe smokingâwas bound to happen, with or without you. You just helped the process along.
Heâs perched on his windowsill, puffing his way through cigarette number two, when his phone buzzes next to him.
Namjoon doesnât call him nearly ever. Yoongi has a way that he likes things done, and Namjoon is probably his only friend that actually respects it. Emails for work. In-person or texts for personal shit. Video calls never. Phone calls only if Yoongi needs to hear it now and thereâs no other way.
Yoongi picks up.
âJoon-ah?â Cautious. He likes phone calls the least because phone calls mean trouble, like someone is in the hospital. Heâs gotten that call before, more than once.
âHyung,â Namjoon says. âDo you have a minute?â
Namjoon wouldnât be asking that if someone was in the hospital, so Yoongi allows himself to unclench. Just a little. âYeah, I have a minute.â
He hears rustling on the line, like Namjoon is fidgeting. But Namjoon is always fidgeting, so that could mean nothing.
âI figured, given the events of tonight, that it would be a good call to warn you ahead of time. I wouldâve come by your apartment, but Iâve got meetings all morning tomorrow and itâs late. I didnât want to wait until next time I see you though, soâŠâ Namjoon starts, trailing off.Â
Yoongi works his jaw. âSpit it out, Joon-ah,â he says, because Namjoon is shit at delivering bad news. Heâs always beating around the bush, trying to soften the blow. Itâs great for the kids, but it makes Yoongi feel like heâs about to have to bury his first-born or some shit. Yoongi likes clear, direct.
Namjoon knows this, so he always gets it right on the second try.
âYN is going to the Jeju house with you guys,â Namjoon says. Clear and direct, but the absolute last thing Yoongi wants to hear right now.Â
âYouâre fucking with me.â
âIâm not.â
âShe has literally no fucking reason to be there, Joon-ah,â Yoongi grits out. The cigarette secured between his index and middle knuckles has burned down to nothing, singes his fingers. He hisses and flicks it out the window. âIs she going to help us write an album? Is that it?â
âHyungââ
âNo, she isnât. Sheâs going to distract my lead singer the whole time and make the whole point of the trip fucking impossible,â he interrupts, because once he gets started he canât stop. âWho signed off on this? Doesnât she have a job? Isnât there a goddamn camera that needs to be smoldered at?â
âYoongi-hyung,â Namjoon says. Heâs using his manager voice, and Yoongi shuts up instantly.Â
Namjoon uses this voice on the kids all the time. Realistically, itâs not a big deal. Itâs his job. But heâs never had to use it on Yoongi before.
He deserves it, though. Yoongi knows that. He knows that heâs been insufferable ever since you showed up, and he doesnât like it either. Heâd wanted to talk to Jeongguk, to have a heart-to-heart with him about it, but thatâs proven impossible given that youâre always around. And Namjoon is their voice of reason.
Yoongi tries again.
âI donât like her,â he explains, keeping his voice level. âI donât think she has Jeonggukâs best interests at heart. Iâm just trying to look out for him.â
The line stays quiet for a long moment, like Namjoon is taking special care in choosing his next words. It would make Yoongi nervous, but thatâs just what Namjoon does.
âHyung, you need to leave it alone,â he finally says.
What the fuck.
Yoongi could have foreseen plenty of responses from Namjoon. Heâs been on the receiving end of Namjoonâs sage advice more than heâs proud of. Yoongi worries a lot, and Namjoon is particularly good at quieting those worries, particularly when they pertain to the kids. And they usually do. But he sure as shit wasnât expecting to be blown off like that.
âJoon-ah, Jeongguk is gonnaââ
âJeongguk is a grown man. Heâs fully entitled to make his own decisions, and you need to respect that if you donât want to lose him.â
Lose him? Is Yoongi going insane? Is he fucking missing some integral piece of this puzzle that everyone else seems to have?
The notion of losing Jeongguk is completely absurd. How could he lose Jeongguk over something like this? Jeongguk, the college freshman with the huge eyes who followed Yoongi around like a puppy. Jeongguk who sang so softly when Yoongi asked, who beamed with pride when Yoongi told him he had something special. Jeongguk who dropped out alongside Yoongi, took a risk because he trusted his hyung to take care of him.
It was Yoongi and Jeongguk before it was anyone else, and Yoongi has never let Jeongguk down once, wonât allow himself to. This is the thing thatâs going to change that?Â
âWhat are you even talking about?â
âJust⊠leave this one alone, Yoongi,â Namjoon sighs. âSheâs coming whether you like it or not, and you need to at least pretend to play nice.â
Yoongi doesnât appreciate being treated like a child whoâs the cause of his parentâs headache, not by Kim Namjoon. The label dickheads are one thing, but the one person Yoongi has entrusted with everything for the past five years? Before that, even? Fuck that. Namjoon doesnât talk to him this way, and thatâs not about to change because of you.
âNamjoon-ah, if youâre going to blow me off, at least put my cock in your mouth and do it right,â Yoongi spits, hanging up before he can think better of his words.
Fuck.
Yoongi hasnât bitten Namjoonâs head off like that in a long time. It doesnât feel good to be back in old patterns like this. Yoongi knows why he doesnât trust you, but he doesnât know what it is about you that makes it soâurgent. Like heâs a wild animal primed to bite. To hurt. Yoongi isnât that guy.Â
If what Namjoon said is true, if Jeongguk really is at risk of slipping through Yoongiâs fingers, he has to get his fucking act together. He has to try harder to handle this like an adult.
So, youâre coming to Jeju. Fine. Yoongi can be civil.
Even if the only way for him to be civil is not to speak to you at all.
â§Â shoot me a reply or an ask if you enjoyed this chapter! feedback is always appreciated <3 join my taglist if you want to be tagged in future fics!
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#price of fame#min yoongi x reader#yoongi x reader#suga x reader#min yoongi x you#yoongi x you#suga x you#min yoongi x oc#yoongi x oc#suga x oc#min yoongi x y/n#yoongi x y/n#suga x y/n#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x y/n#jeon jungkook x you#jeon jungkook x oc#jungkook x reader#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x you#jungkook x oc#min yoongi fanfiction#min yoongi angst#min yoongi smut#yoongi fanfiction#yoongi angst#yoongi smut#bts fanfiction#bts fics#Spotify
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Wip Wednesday!
Thank you @buick118 for the tag đ tagging @cranberrymoons @clytemnestraaa and anyone else whoâs writing right now!
This is from a buddie college au Iâve been toying with after a conversation with cly got me in my feels about mature student single father Eddie bonding with post-peru Buck over a college elective theyâre both bad at in different ways. Under a cut cause itâs a long snippet :)
Eddie gets the text a little after eight on Friday while heâs curled up on the sofa with Christopher half asleep by his side. Party at mine, u in? Followed by an address in an area heâs unfamiliar with.
Itâs from Buck, because of course it is.
I didnât know you lived in a frat house.
The tvâs turned low, so as not to disturb Abuela and her friendsâ weekly card game, though they should be finishing up soon. Pilar likes to be in bed by nine, though Ana Maria keeps trying to convince Abuela to let her leave first, then continue the game when sheâs gone.
Or so heâs heard.
Itâs just a normal house lol
Normal house party
Thereâs even going to be girlsâŠ
Eddie laughs, though it turns to guilt when he realises the noise disturbed Chris.
âWhatâs so funny, daddy?â
Heâs getting so big. So wide-eyed and happy, so trusting.
âNothing, kiddo.â He slowly takes Chris by the arms and, when he receives no protest, pulls his son all the way into his lap. âDid I wake you? Iâm sorry.â
âNo, I wasnât sleepy,â Chris lies. Heâs getting really good at his developmentally appropriate lying. Which is a weird thing to be proud of, Eddie knows. But as soon as it became apparent Chris wasnât going to make certain milestones, or would be late to them, or would need surgery to even have a chance to see themâŠ
So Eddie just lets himself hold twice as much pride when Chris lies, or when he reads his book aloud, or can tell the time on Abuelaâs big red analog kitchen clock.
âWell, you might not be sleepy, but-â Eddie yawns as long and wide as he can until Chris is giggling beside him- âI definitely am. Do you think maybe you could try and go to bed, so I can too?â
Chris looks at him with furrowed concentration, then down at the sofa theyâre sharing which, when he goes to sleep in Abuelaâs spare room, will become Eddieâs bed. And concedes, a little.
âOkay, but Iâm not even a little teeny bit tired so I think I can get in bed but stay awake.â
They brush their teeth together, and change into pyjamas, and by the time Chris is settled and Eddieâs returned to the sofa he has four more texts from Buck.
And booze
Probably some casual games like beer pong
But yeah itâs kicking off around 10 I think
Iâm working until 11 so if you wait til then I could even pick you up?
If you live nearby
Wow.
#my wip#buddie#911#idk this fandom seems v anti-college au for various reasons but im having a lot of fun with this one so far#i think it helps that itâs essentially a s2 au in that i havenât really aged them down so much as fuzzed the circumstances#college au
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To answer your question about Fresh: Fresh is actually a parasite! He dresses in his 90's-themed clothes and speaks in a silly way so that others underestimate him. His main and utmost goal is to Survive, and the way he does that is by infecting other people with his parasites and draining the life from their souls. Being seen as harmless lets him get closer to them and gives him easier access for possession. He hopes to eventually take over the multiverse, spreading his parasites in every corner of it and having absolute control.
He also has no emotions. He is capable of them, but for whatever reason he is unable to feel much, besides the rare instance of anger. He does frequently feel fear, though.
He is a bit sadistic, and he likes seeing others suffer. This is because when he takes over someone he drains their soul of life, which causes them pain. And to him, taking someone's body means safety, it means he can survive a bit longer as long as he's snatched their body. So he's come to associate the pain of others as something good.
And he's also aware of the creators/viewers, thanks to an event called the Loveball, which is canon to his character.
Going to copy and paste my own words for this [I was talking to a friend about Loveball]:
"So, like seven years ago there was a fandom-wide event called the Loveball, where people gathered their OCs and had them all attend an UTMV dancing ball. Fresh went, of course. There, he met a Frisk called Pacifrisk. Even knowing who he really was [90's parasite], they still believed he could be good. Before this, he hadn't ever really felt a connection to anyone, or even positive emotions in general. But Pacifrisk's faith in him made him feel positively towards them. This freaked him out. [No Fr@ns though, don't worry. That wasn't the intention for this plot.]
As a result, not only did he try to kill them, but he also went through with his plans: the Fresh Takeover [I forget what it's actually called]. His true reason for attending the ball. OCs were either possessed by the parasites or tried to fight against them. Apparently, some people used alcohol to ward the virus off, as Fresh hates substances such as that.
Fresh wanted to take over the multiverse, with this Loveball being the first step for his total domination.
But then right in the middle of things, a Sans AU [which I totally forget the name of X,D] grabbed Fresh and basically yeeted him into an alternate state of being. One where he could see the creators, all staring at him. An audience.
The Sans revealed the nature of Fresh's existence: That he was simply a character in a story. And if the creators got bored of him, he could easily be written aside and forgotten. Erased. His conquest didn't matter, in the end.
Predictably, this gave him an existential crisis. I'm not sure what happened after, but he stopped invading and went somewhere to contemplate his existence in a depressed state.
Afterwards, he had a new goal: To entertain. To convince the creators that he was worth keeping around. Similar to his previous goal of survival, but now with more dire stakes."
His creator @loverofpiggies has some posts about the Loveball, tagged under either the 'fresh sans' tag or the 'loveball' tag, which I recommend you check out! ^^
But yeah, to answer your question: The reason Fresh fought Ink was probably 1: because he saw it as a good way to keep himself alive and 2: So that he could be relevant and interesting to the viewers.
Hope this answered any questions you might have about him! ^w^
THANK YOU BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY I WOULD HAVE FOUND ABOUT ANY OF THIS OTHERWISEđđđ THAT'S A LOT
Now I want to draw fresh existential crisis mood, That's something I never would have imagined existed
Im still a bit confused about fresh not having emotionsÂż but I think I got the idea, but still, why does he feel fear?
I think fresh is becoming my favorite now, help, error do something
(Thank you again for your timeâšïž)
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A Sip Too Far
Summary: You confront Jing Yuan when you see him drunk, expressing your disdain for alcohol and how it affects people. Despite the tension, Jing Yuan opens up about the burdens he carries, and you learn to understand his need for release while still maintaining your aversion to drinking.
Tags: @crownedwizard, Yuan x Reader, Teen!Reader, Platonic relationship, Respect and confrontation, Alcohol aversion, Slight angst, Healing and understanding, Lighthearted moments.
Warnings: Mentions of alcohol consumption, Light angst, Brief rudeness/disrespectful behavior (toward Jing Yuan, though resolved), Possible mild frustration or tension between characters.
The bustling air of the Cloud Knights' gathering hall on the Xianzhou Luofu was alive with voices, laughter, and clinking glasses. The evening had begun as a lighthearted celebration, with various factions within the Alliance coming together to honor their recent victories. However, for you, the celebration felt more like a suffocating weight than a joyous occasion.
You leaned against the stone railing, arms crossed tightly over your chest, scanning the crowd with sharp, discerning eyes. The clinking of glasses echoed in the distance, and the laughter of your comrades was loud and carefree, but none of it brought you comfort. In fact, it made your skin crawl.
You hated alcohol. The way it dulled minds, destroyed focus, and led people to act foolishlyâit grated against your very core. You could never understand how people could drink so freely, so carelessly. And you loathed how it turned the most composed individuals into loud, bumbling messes.
And that was exactly what was happening now.
You noticed Jing Yuan across the room, his usual calm demeanor softened by the effects of too many glasses of wine. His eyes, once sharp and calculating, now glinted with a hazy warmth. He was surrounded by the other Arbiter-Generals, engaged in some casual conversation, though his words were becoming slower and less coherent with each passing minute.
You felt a pang of frustration. Jing Yuan, the very man who had commanded respect through his sharp foresight and composed leadership, now seemed to be unraveling before your eyes, all because of something so simple as alcohol. The thought made your stomach turn.
You walked over, your footsteps purposeful and firm. When you reached him, he grinned at you, though the smile was a little too wide, a little too unsteady. âAh, [Name], my young friend. Come join us! Weâre celebrating, after all!â His voice was warm but slurred, his hand lazily lifting his cup to you as though it were the most normal thing in the world.
You froze for a moment, your gaze fixed on the glass in his hand. The sight of it, the content of it, made something inside you snap. It was as if the very image of Jing Yuanâsomeone you deeply respectedâwas tarnished by the alcohol. You couldn't keep the disdain from your voice. âI donât want to join your little celebration, Jing Yuan. Not while youâre like this.â
Jing Yuan blinked, a laugh bubbling up from his throat. "What do you mean, [Name]? Iâm just... enjoying myself. A little wine never hurt anyone."
âNo,â you snapped, your voice colder than you intended. âIt turns you into a fool. You know better than this. Youâre supposed to be the âDivine Foresight,â a man who commands respect, not someone who canât even hold his liquor.â
The words stung more than youâd planned. You had never been one to mince words, but now, seeing his eyes waver with a hint of hurt, you felt a brief moment of guilt. Still, the anger in your chest refused to subside.
Jing Yuanâs smile faltered for a brief second, his eyes studying you intently. âYou... really donât like drinking, do you?â
âNo, I donât,â you replied bluntly, turning away from him, your tone now laced with disgust. âAnd I donât like seeing people I look up to like you act like this.â You threw a glance over your shoulder, making sure your words had hit home. âIâll be over there if you decide to stop embarrassing yourself.â
With that, you stalked off, leaving Jing Yuan standing there, his expression unreadable. The room seemed to grow quieter in your wake, but your focus was elsewhereâon the shadows in the corner where you could gather your thoughts, away from the noise and the clinking of glasses.
It wasnât long before you heard footsteps approaching. You tensed, expecting some kind of reprimand or even worse, pity. Instead, you felt the presence of Jing Yuan standing beside you, no words exchanged at first. He simply stood there, his golden eyes reflecting an odd mix of amusement and understanding.
âYou know, you donât have to treat me like Iâm a child,â he finally said, his voice now softer, though there was still the slightest hint of slurring. âIâm perfectly capable of making my own choices.â
You didn't meet his gaze. âThatâs the problem, Jing Yuan. You are capable of making your own choices. And youâre choosing to throw everything away with a simple glass of wine. Itâs beneath you.â
He sighed, long and deep, like he was weighing your words carefully. âIâm not trying to throw anything away, [Name]. Sometimes... sometimes I just need to forget for a moment. The weight of all those years, all those battles, the people Iâve lost...â His voice trailed off, and you saw a flicker of something deeper in his eyes, a weariness that you hadnât noticed before.
You fell silent, your irritation cooling just slightly. You didnât speak for a long time, the air between you both heavy with unspoken thoughts.
Finally, you turned to face him, your expression softening, though you kept your distance. âI didnât mean to hurt you. I just... canât stand seeing people I care about lose themselves like this.â
Jing Yuan smiled gently, his posture shifting as if to reassure you. âI understand. Youâre protective, and I can respect that.â He paused for a moment, before adding with a small chuckle, âBut you have to admit, [Name], Iâm not as helpless as you think. A little bit of wine wonât stop me from getting back to my duties.â
You couldnât help but smile at the sincerity in his voice, despite the slight waver. âI know. But maybe... next time, just take it easy. Youâre still the âDivine Foresightâ to me, even if youâve had a bit too much wine.â
He winked at you, his usual calm composure returning, and nodded. âNext time, I promise Iâll stick to tea.â
With that, you allowed yourself to relax a little, knowing that even though Jing Yuan had his moments of folly, his wisdom was as unshakable as ever. Perhaps you could learn to give him a little grace when it came to letting loose every now and then.
As for the alcohol? Well, that was still something youâd rather avoid entirely.
#x reader#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#teen reader#jing yuan x y/n#hsr jing yuan#jing yuan honkai star rail#jing yuan x you#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan#platonic relationships#respect and confrontation#alcohol mention#alcohol aversion#slight angst#healing#understanding#lighthearted moments
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WIP Wednesday
Hey y'all it's another Wednesday <3 I'm scheduling this as I gotta be at the airport tomorrow morning. Probably won't be until the evening but I'm gonna carve out time to see the wips as I love seeing what everyone is doing <3 Thank you @firefly-factory for the tag this morning đ„°
Tagging: @theoneandonlysemla @dirty-bosmer @lucien-lachance @umbracirrus @changelingsandothernonsense
@bougainvillea-and-saltwater @pocket-vvardvark @hircines-hunter @captain-of-silvenar @ladytanithia
I'm currently writing a fic called I'm only happy when I'm with you because it has Theodora/Ondolemar confessing their feelings but was the second fic I wrote for them so, they deserve better! Setting is Windhelm just after the Civil War you ever be so down bad you go to Windhelm to tell a woman you love her Suggestive part so I'll stick it under the cut
Itâs not lost on Ondolemar how bizarre it is to do this here. The business of mixing work and pleasure was becoming the norm for him but, confessing his feeling inside the Temple of Talos was a newer, more deranged level of odd. Though, Theodora had tried to convince him to have a liaison inside the shrine in Markarth, citing that âNo one will be there, and if they are, you get to do your civic duty.â Her incredibly sound logic was not enough to sway him into leaving the comforts of the Keep, but perhaps now, she may get what she wanted. If he ignored the obvious massive statue, the lowlight of scones could be considered romantic. For now, there was nowhere else they could be alone. Praying that things go well, he can tell her somewhere better, multiple places far mor suitable of such words.
The woman who plagues his dreams walks around, inspecting the different parts of the. simple hall. Poking her head into what was the priestâs quarters, she makes a remark.Â
âOh thereâs even a bed here.â She gazes lowly at him. âHow awfully convenient for us.â Walking closer, she pulls on his robes. The feeling distracts him yet again.
âTheodora, in a temple? In such a holy place? Have you no shame?âÂ
âYouâ thereâs an emphasis on the word âof all people, do not get to say that. Need I remind you of your position, Thalmor Justiciar Ondolemar?â It would be fun to give in now. His eyes floating between the hungry look in hers and her lips, imaging how good they would feel on his after months. It would be very fun to have their uniforms strewn across the temple floor, but he did not come all this way for merely fun. Regaining will, he speaks.Â
âAs much as I desire you right now, I have something I need to tell you first.â The look in her eyes upsets him, face slightly falling and he is quick to reassure her. âDo not fret, nothing is wrong, quite the opposite rather.â
The Thalmor had done his groveling. Drunken guilt-ridden prayers and pleads going unanswered as he was forced to contend with the gravity of the situation; he did in fact love her and the acceptability of his feelings mattered not. Grand stories always positioned love on the winning side, the side of the virtuous, how could it be wrong when the act of doing so came so effortlessly? The choice to voluntarily come all the way to Windhelm was an easy one, despite the fact this mission did not demand someone of his rank and the weather was atrocious. She would be there, that had been enough to haul himself across the province. Once accepted in himself, it would not rest until spoken. She needed to know, how desperate he was to know if she felt the same and wondered if their last discussion had been indicative that she did. Had her pain surrounding love been the start of a confession? âYou told me once you do not do love. The loss of your mother, and your fatherâs subsequent grief left you fearful of it. I understand that, you rightly feel afraid, I see why you donât do love,â there are small droplets forming in the corner of her eyes. Wiping them away, he continues âbut I do.â Her face softens as she grasps his hand. âI have made a myriad of excuses to convince myself I do not feel what I do. It is embarrassing the lengths I went to in an effort to convince myself I felt nothing for you, that your laughter did not brighten my day, that your thoughts were not compelling, that someone I was taught to hate could never be my greatest joy. Yet, there is only one rational.â The words are caught in his throat as he turns away, needing a moment to collect himself. The fear of finally verbalizing these thoughts is eclipsed by the worry that all of this is one side. He is alone in this insanity. Looking back at her, he finds the courage, wide-eyed and lips slightly curling up. âI love you, Theodora.â
âYou do?âÂ
âI do.â He sighs slightly, unable to meet her gaze in case of rejection.Â
Logically, it would be understandable. Opposing sides, duties to their respective nations, they were very much in opposition. She was their prophesied Dragonborn, now a war hero as much as she hadnât yearned to be. All this in addition to being the most beautiful woman in all of Tamriel. She could do far better than him, far better than an invader of her homeland but he wanted her. Selfishly wanted her even if all he could promise was love.Â
âAre you certain you know what you are saying?â
âIâve never been more so, I love you.â He reaches for her other hand, clutching them both tightly to warm them. âI know I have nothing to offer you. I cannot make you any promises about the future, I cannot be with you openly, I cannot change some of the things I have doneâ a small concession to remedy the things he doesnât have the strength to speak about. In time, in time. âYou deserve much better, I completely understand if you do not-â The sentence ends midway, cut off as she pulls his robes, bringing their lips together.
#wip wednesday#oc: theodora#omg he admitted it!!!#he said it out loud!!!#they gonna tell their kids about this <3#saying ily for the first time in the temple in windhelm#lmaoooooooo they crazy
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Art Tag
Thank you @deathclassic and @doshiart for tagging me!
How did you start drawing? What year was it that you become more seriously and consciously interested in it?
I always drew, and didn't think too hard about it. I chose art electives whenever I could in middle and high school. I specifically chose to NOT major in art in college because "I need a real career." Joke's on me ... I ended college with a degree in fine arts/illustration.
When you felt the urge to share your art with other people? When did you start posting your drawings on social media?
I shared art with friends pre-internet. We'd pass images around at slumber parties and draw art as gifts. I posted online for the first time in the late 90s, illustrations for horror stories that I drew.
Your first/earliest drawing. What were your impressions of it back then and what are your feelings now?
I was always meant to be an illustrator rather than a straight-up artist. Here is a book I created in 1981. I loved it! My spelling wasn't bad for being 6 years old.
Your first fanart ever 1986. This image from Poltergeist II. I flipped to the back page of my sketch book and drew it in secret.
Your first gallavich fanart Kinktober 2021. Charcoal and spray paint.
When you had bad days and things didn't work out, what inspired you to keep trying? I think it was the confidence instilled in me by a supportive family. I never felt like a bad day meant doom and gloom; it just meant things weren't working that day. I don't have qualms about throwing out a piece that isn't working and starting over.
Show your old piece that you strongly dislike and tell why. I don't hang on to pieces that I dislike. They've vanished in time.
Show your old piece that you very like and tell why. What's the difference with the previous? I drew this with colored pencils in 1988. I was proud of how closely it matched the album cover.
Show your old piece that you were very proud of back then. This is one of my first horror story illustrations, for "That Hell-Bound Train" by Robert Bloch.
Do you do any practice sketches or warm-ups before you draw something big? Sure! Here are a few.
Sketch vs Final. Show your process. This is from the Big Bang 2021, for Lem's story!
Your most recent drawing. (Everyone has seen this already -- LOL)
Give yourself some praise! Look at what improved in your art! Do I have to? I don't like to compliment myself because I'm still learning, even after all these years. I can draw more photographically now, but I was looser/freer in the past. Who's to say which is better?
Any advice you'd give to your earlier self? Never stop taking figure drawing classes!
Set a goal for yourself for the coming year. To not let the doubt creep in and keep pushing boundaries. To develop more of a personal style.
Tagging some of my favorite artists ... @deedala @michellemisfit (thinking of you babe!) @vintagelacerosette @darthvaders-wife @heymrspatel
@gallawitchxx @filorux @crossmydna
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This Capybarista (thanks @duchi-nesten :)) has a job :)
#art drawn in transit#this is becoming a tag now because I keep doing it#I limited myself to just the commute so nothing made it onto the shelves#pretend it has coffee supplies or something :)#capybara#barista#capybarista#coffee#capypril 2023#job#my art#digital art#daily prompt#stuff I forgot to queue
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A compilation of art for my Dadbastian fanfic Coattails that I commissioned from the incredibly talented @tomoyoo! They went above and beyond with the details... Each picture feels as cozy and warm as a storybook, right? I'm so delighted with how they turned out!! Thank you for making each one so beautiful! đ„čđ„čđ„č
#coattails#not sebaciel so please don't tag as such! thank you!#kuroshitsuji#the backgrounds are just gorgeous.. thank you for your research and dedication to them#the outfits in the first one are amazing! I love Ciel's shirt and Soma's whole ensemble is so cozy yet regal#look at Ciel in the cardigan in the third one though? he is cozy#the expressions are my favorite. they're so animated! just as I imagine them to be..#I really like Ciel's in the first pic because I imagined him looking annoyed but you actually made him seem curious#and I actually like that more I think it's cute... he really does want to be friends with Soma huh đ„ș#Sebastian's expression in the third picture is great. >:o#he's about to throw hands with an old lady#Edward and Ciel's competitive faces! being silly... I love Them#Ciel needs to get swept up in silly competitions more often I think...#and then the last one!! bonding over tea! it's so amazingly tender đ#I don't think I imagined it coming out so calming and gentle... it's so emotional#it makes me want to keep writing!#if you are a Coattails reader I hope you love these as much as I do!#and if you aren't a Coattails reader... maybe these will convince you to become one? đ because they are so full of personality!#thanks times a million tomoyoo!!#(I should wait till tomorrow to post but I want to do it now...)#Coattails fanart#(adding to the fanart tag even though I commissioned it just for convenience's sake)
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Becoming deeply radicalized against the idea of crewed Mars missions, y'know how the Rovers keep sending back better and better data what if instead of that we made an even bigger one and devoted nearly 90% of its capacity to holding a guy in a bubble on top of it instead of sending back useful data, but wait! They'll eliminate like a half hour of latency and also almost certainly contaminate the landing site and possibly the entire planet, so it's not all downside.
#At least in the near term it's fucking pointless and the downsides are very large and very big#Quite frankly it is extraordinarily likely that the first people to arrive at mars will do so dead#Because they will have been sent by fucking idiots willing to take too large risks#But the good news is that the wreck will spread across and contaminate huge amounts of the martian biosphere#To the point that we will quite possibly never be able to discern the history of life on mars#But if they live at least they'll get to slightly reduce the latency on our telerobotic fleet!#And travel home with the samples I guess#Good thing Percy's tagging and bagging rocks that we just canceled the return trips for#At least once we fuck up the rest of the planet those will be sterile#Kinda still excited about Aritimis but also kinda becoming anti-human spaceflight in general#We should consider not doing that for a while and at most focus specifically on living on the moon in a controlled and limited fashion#Ground the whole fucking commercial fleet who gives a shit those capsules are both gonna get someone killed sooner rather than later#And it's not like we're learning a whole lot by having people on hand up there#They spend most of their time trying to keep the machines from falling apart#Which is the main thing people would be doing for three continuous years on the shortest possible mars mission#Like you could send a dozen rovers for the price of one crewed mission both mass and money-wise#And that's probably a lowball estimate even assuming more and more advances in rover technology#Which are happening a lot faster than the advances in life support technology#Right now we do not even have enough functioning space capsules at our low earth orbit space station#Starship HLS is a fucking joke#The whole thing reeks let's just stop sending people into space for a while what were we really getting out of it
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when an obsessed orufrey person plays ace attorney for the first time in a while
#witch hat tag#orufrey#you know those times when the defendant is still in shambles at the end of a case because it was not a clear-cut thing#but you get to present one Special Sentimental piece of evidence that proves not all is lost#qifrey's breakdown would be like... he turns up calm and pleasant like dahlia kristoph gant etc but very quickly:#well first he's hiding his scar so you have to use the bracelet and also you find out about the seal on his hat using that.#eventually he is throwing water that comes out of nowhere like that coffee prosecutor guy. and his cape starts billowing#the more he breaks down his neck thingies start coming undone btw. To represent his descent into guilt and his LIES becoming undone.#course as the player i have already used my magatama and seen his 35894 psychelocks. but theyre those BLACK psychelocks#representing his repressed memories taken by the brimhats. also his glasses shatter out of nowhere when you keep presenting evidence#and tartah's testimony etc. and the player is like UHH this guy is A PUPPET MASTER but coco's heartfelt testimony commands the tone#and of course he's someone who has been twisted and damaged by trauma like adrian andrews. the mastermind is of course the brimhats#only me with my magatama knows that... only i can do it. It has to be me.....#just like how as the reader i can see everything about qifrey and i can hold him dear as much as i judge him#whereas if i were oru things would not be ok unless memories can be restored and mentally ill decisions can be illuminated#WELL ANYWAY !!!!! what i appreciate about ace attorney is its ability to mix silliness with seriousness#i cant usually make jokes about serious heavy heartbreaking stuff in witch hat because it is all very intense emotions for me#but i appreciate ace attorney's mix of sincerity and psychological pain and the inherent silliness to being a character in a situation#so.....Get Iguin on the stand. Now. BAILIFF.. TAKE OFF THE MASK#i would most love to be able to prove qifrey's eyesight is failing. hed be like I have no reason to pursue the brimhats (smiles pleasantly)#and it would be like You're lowering your gaze.. proof that the court lighting is too harsh for you..!#his glasses would crack at that moment btw. I used apollo's bracelet and saw the glyphs on the glass.#I know all about u. and i will save u
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D:BH Rarepairsweek 7 | @dbhrarepairs
Day 3: Hank/Markus After the revolution, Markus and Hank are both trying to deal with the new situation they've been handed. Their paths cross.
#dbhrarepairsweek#hank anderson#dbh markus#hank x markus#hankus#??? idk but ive seen someone else at least use this tag so i might as well#detroit: become human#d:bh#dbhrarepairs#aight. this might be the rarest pairing im doing this week. maybe.#IM BRINGING MY HANK/MARKUS AGENDA TO THIS EVENT#IVE BEEN KEEPING IT LOWKEY (the fics are wip) SO FAR BUT. NOW IT IS TIME.#look ive been examining these two in my brains for a while now. it makes sense to me.#you will understand my vision.#i was debating writer a longer caption but once again: i'd let you fill in the blanks for this one#i might make more specific content for them in the future#like i had even more interesting scenes to use but im doing this gifset for now hehe#MY VIEW ON THIS was like. Connor getting more involved in android stuff because he wants to support Markus#Hank relapses a bit with his mental health issues but manages it better than he has ever done before#Markus who is burnt out and trying to find rest and dealing with his own demons#manages to notice Hank's struggles. Helps him out lowkey. Is interested in him.#then TO BE CONTINUED#I THINK THE IDEA OF THEM TALKING IS SO FASCINATING ALRIGHT#also. obv. if you see this as platonic only then that is up to you i cannot take it from you and feel free to reblog i absolutely wont mind#but to clarify: markus would be down bad for hank. that's MY canon. I know it in my heart.
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henry telling joel the story of how he informed fedra about the leader of the resistance so he could get the medicine he needed to save sam, and seeing joel's entire face and demeanour change as he starts to understand who henry is and how similar they both are. joel initially not trusting henry because he's a rat, but once the full context is given to him, he tells henry it's not fair on him for so many people to want him dead for what he did. joel not questioning why henry would betray so many people for his brother, because he knows he would do exactly the same thing in his place. henry DIRECTLY making joel ask himself the question "what is more important: the world, or the one person you love? your honour, or your family? when it comes down to it, how many people will you hurt to make sure she's safe?", and you can just see that joel immediately knows the answer.
#if bill was there to make joel realise his purpose as a protector#henry is there to make joel painfully aware of the lengths he must go to to fulfil that duty#and only AFTER this conversation may i add does joel start trusting henry unquestioningly#because he knows who henry is now. he knows theyre exactly the same#and no matter what he can rely on him to keep these kids safe. theyll both do whatever it takes#god help ANY motherfuckers who stand in our way#< the way THAT has become one of the thesis statements of the show btw. thank you bill#anyways i think this episode was a bit anticlimactic in terms of dramatic stakes#but the narrative throughline. joels character development. ellies friendship with sam#it all balances out#if nothing else this show is fucking NAILING the character beats#tlou#the last of us#tlou spoilers#meta tag
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73 and Zexion
mirage
[ID: a digital drawing of zexion and young ienzo from kingdom hearts. the colors are flat with chunky uncolored highlights, and the background is geometric figures without form in cold colors that are darker at the bottom and are dull on either end but a bolder blue in the middle, intending to represent water. zexion, shown from the waist up has his hands over his stomach, following the lines of his torso, like a reflection of him, is young ienzo. Zexion's expression is blank, while ienzo's a little forlorn. /End Id.]
#dear nonnie#<-that's gonna be my anon tag asfhshd#hi anon this has nothing to do with the song because it has very heavy ex romance undertones and#i'm trying to keep this as un-shippy and character focused as i could! So i took the title and ran with it#i am still doing these if any of y'all would like to send a req!#i spent some days baby sitting tho which is why this is being posted now and not the day when i got the inbox ty for your patience#nano does reqs#smth smth what about the man you were meant to become smth smth#zexion kh#73
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1.10 / 1.09
#something to be said not just about how Ibrahim aims to replace his past family with his present bond with SĂŒleiman (and Musti and Mahi#branch off of that bond) but also how Hatice fits in all of this - the one Ibrahim leans on everytime he's likely to lose SS is *her*#she isn't just the future he wants to secure in the castle but also the past he yearns for outside of it especially in that initial period#of their relationship; and not just any past but a very particular fragment of it - the next most valuable person of his past other than#his brother: his *mother*. it's no wonder him playing *his mother's* melodies with the violin marks the beginning of their story and stays#an important motif throughout. just like Ibrahim's mother Hatice is so familiar yet so out of reach (and this unreachability accumulates in#E13 - Ibrahim leaves for Parga thus returning to his past but leaving Hatice behind but *then* finding out his mother is gone too.#*both* people he wants to be close to soo much are *gone* in that moment. there's a link between them because of this. also Hatice tieing#lbrahim's mother to âheavenâ as well and her âlooking at their happiness from aboveâ Ibro responds with in E14.) Hatice will distance#more and more from that role later on until lbrahim starts to outright abandon this whole 'return to the past' idea with Hatice and#search for it through Nigar instead. but yeah anyway I feel these two scenes are the perfect encapsulation of how complicated#the past is for lbrahim; he avoids remembering it because it *hurts* to remember both because why would he remember it when he already has#an established future and because deep down he resents what he's become and established as that isn't ever permanent and he's lost all else#*himself* most of all as who is a person without his roots? he wants to forget them but can't ever do it so what's left is replacing them#*all of them*; when he finds Hatice too he wants to have *both* her and SĂŒleiman and SS marrying Hatice off directly challanges that want#up to that point he believed in the possibility of their love more than Hatice did; now? he seems as lost as she is not knowing what to do#the only way not to lose either of them is accepting SĂŒleiman's order convincing himself that this is how it should be no matter how much#that hurts and would bury him even deeper; he can't bear it so he searches for a solution - and when he sees Rhodes sea? it hits him#it hits him how low he's actually sunk through the losses and if he can't âfully* replace the past he'll *fully* return to the past letting#*everything else* once hidden out as well. not to mention how right before he left to Parga he was brought to fear for his literal death#and then he is given more power that also brings some uncertainty with it and that likely scared him cementing his departure for Parga#directly following Piri Pasha's advice to let power go as it won't let *you* go#(btw a big contrast between S01 and S03 Ibrahim can be drawn in his relationship with Piri Pasha and his relationship with Ebusuud)#magnificent century#muhteĆem yĂŒzyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#ibrahim pasha#(sorry for the disorganized tags but if I kept it like it was I would've exceeded the limit before I even finished đ
)#(just Ibrahim and Hatice in general are people who latch onto each other to get over their losses and ache for peace amidst their turbulent#lives and positions and that's what keeps them close and will later too)
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little rich boy sirius who gets disowned and can barely survive without his expensive brands and the basic human need to eat at least once a day meeting the entirely too generous james potter who just falls for the vanity and sincerity of the reformed rich boy and decides that once sirius stops caring about brands and status and rich boy things and just cares about what matters in life he decides to spoil his boyfriend to pieces because heâs secretly sitting on a fucking fortune
#idk i just think itâs funny#like james would find sirius when heâs struggling with money because heâs so bad at saving and prioritising his spendings because heâs never#had too before and so james would teach him how to do all that stuff and emotionally support sirius through it all and sirius just falls in#love with this beautiful guy whoâs just so generous and who teaches him so many things and finds value in kindness and sincerity and#compassion and all that jazz and james falls in love with sirius helplessly because he might be stuck up and vein and kind of selfish and#is stuck up and cares all too much about status but heâs trying so hard to be better and he finds empathy because sirius got kicked out for#the worst reasons because heâs always been the black sheep of his highly cultist christian family or whatver and heâs also outwardly queer#and james decides that he wants to give sirius everything and loves the way he looks in expensive makeup and designer faux fur coats and#heels and divine jewellery and all that jazz but makes sirius sell it all and learn what it means to be human and not rely on money and#status and brands and stuff and sirius learns what itâs like to be decent and in touch with humanity and only then does james take sirius on#a surprise luxury holiday for his birthday or something and then just buys him thousands of dollars worth of all these glamorous looking#things and sirius is like omg what the fuck jamie and then he just becomes siriusâ sugar daddy because he canât help himself but theyâre#also in love and much better people because of it and when sirius buys things now itâs not because of brands or because they have big price#tags like he used too. he now buys things with jamesâ credit card he keeps in his own wallet because he thinks heâll feel pretty in them or#because he thinks james will loose it if he sees sirius walking around in it or if he sees a really cute toaster that sends him into a#frenzy that has him spending all way too much on an impromptu kitchen renovation but james doesnât care because as long as his boyfriend is#happy and actually paying attention to the price of things and calculating the best value and taking jamesâ opinion as well and just being#happy and safe and accepted in his new home and family here with his jamie#please i think theyâd be so cute ugh!!!#prongsfoot#bambibelle#drabble#fic idea#marauders#james potter#sirius black#jay talks
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