#this is about me buying my first condo not anything to do with writing

[zmwrites]

friends who have purchased property/picked a long-term place to live: what are the most important things to consider when choosing a new home?

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

Thank you for the tags @heartstringsduet @honeybee-taskforce @paperstorm @iboatedhere @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @strandnreyes @liminalmemories21 @alrightbuckaroo 💕

From the final chapter of love in a series of bursts & inches, coming on Eid Wednesday 🌙 Read the first four chapters here!

“You know what I regret most?” He asks eventually, something sharp sparking behind his eyes. “I regret the time I lost with my dad. I spent so much time being closed off, guarding the parts of myself that I thought he wouldn’t approve of. Wouldn’t understand. I didn’t start building a real relationship with him until right before he died. There’s so much we never talked about. He didn’t meet my first boyfriend or help me buy the condo. In the end he didn’t even get to see me get married.”

He sits back with a wet laugh, eyes again drifting over to TK who’s now bouncing back and forth in front of the pinball machine with Joe, like they’re boxers in a ring getting ready to face off. “God, he loved TK.”

“I don’t want to have regrets,” Marjan says. “I want my parents to know Joe. I think if there’s anything these past few years have taught us, it’s that we don’t have as much time as we think we do.”

A deep look of contemplation passes over Carlos’s face. “So what are you afraid of?”

“I’m afraid of ruining the relationship I do have with my parents.” She says, rolling her shoulders back and feeling her resolve strengthen. “I’m afraid telling me that they love me and they support me is a lot easier than doing it.” She drops her voice lower. “And I’m afraid they won’t be able to accept him.”

“Because they didn’t choose him for you? Like they did with Salim?”

“No. Well. Maybe, only because they don’t know his family. They don’t know how he was raised. He’s from a different culture, I think they’re gonna think I’m losing the faith or something.”

“I get that. When I came out my parents told me that it didn’t change anything, but I felt a change.” he says, eyes going dark like he’s sinking deeper into his memory. “I spent a lot of time convincing myself my parents were okay with me being gay, as long as they didn’t have to see it. Or hear about it. I built it up so much in my head. How they would react, how they’d be disgusted by me, how they’d probably disown me. I pushed a lot of people away, guys I dated who thought they were some kind of dirty secret to me. I thought I had to choose between having my family or having a partner. Hell, I even went through with a terrible marriage to a bad match just to try to appease them.”

She laughs as he shudders at the thought. “So what changed?”

“TK,” he says softly, eyes swimming with fondness. “I met him and everything inside me shifted. I didn’t make the choice to tell my parents about him, and I’ll forever regret that. But I think in time I would have. I couldn’t have given him up.”

Tagging @janto4ev @sznofthesticks @fitzherbertssmolder @ladytessa74 @thisbuildinghasfeelings @chicgeekgirl89 @carlos-in-glasses @whatsintheboxmh @vineofroses @bonheur-cafe @fallout-mars @your-catfish-friend @kiwichaeng @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @inkweedandlizards @carlos-tk @literateowl @freneticfloetry @orchidscript @guardian-angle22 @my-little-tilly @tinyluminaryzombie @basilsunrise @louis-ii-reyes-strand @herefortarlos @filet-o-feelings @rmd-writes @theghostofashton @thebumblecee @welcometololaland @reyesstrand @itsrandomnobody7 @iinryer @lightningboltreader @never-blooms @ambiguouspenny @nancygillianmvp @noxsoulmate @detective-giggles @decafdino @hoko-onchi-writes @certifiedflower and OPEN TAG 🏷️

[jtl-fics]

May I request 5,6,11,12,27 ? - Meme for Fic Writers🙏

(Ps. How is Andrew First's review going?) 😇 🤍

Meme for Fic Writers Ask Game

5. Share one of your strengths

I think I'm pretty good at dialogue and coming up with stuff once I have an initial premise.

6. Share one of your weaknesses

I struggle with coming up with unique initial premises. I love other people's thoughts a lot but man sometimes I feel like I'm just retreading stuff.

11. Is Writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

I love writing it is my passion but it is my hobby as well. I don't think I'd ever want to make a living off of it.

12. Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

I keep saying it but like the Baltimore sequence is just........my favorite. I think about it and what it leads to ALL THE TIME.

27. How do you feel about collaborations?

OKAY I LOVE TALKING WITH PEOPLE ABOUT THEIR WORKS IT IS SO MUCH FUN FOR ME. IF PEOPLE LET ME PLAY IN THEIR SANDBOX I HAVE SO MUCH FUN. I love when people send me ideas, I might not always write 'em if they don't spark anything but like give me a general premise and I have a riot.

Your PS under the cut:

The Andrew First AU rework is kind of on pause because of the whole buying a condo thing. I'm hopeful once my mortgage is all set that I'll have time for it again. I want to flesh out the Trojan team because 100% I feel like only focusing on Jeremy and Neil was part of the weakness of it. Also figuring out a proper sequence of events while keeping the general premise.

I'll get there. I wanna write Andrew and Neil getting back to one another so bad TT_TT

[reachexceedinggrasp]

So when I've been complaining about even fanfiction not being romantic enough, part of what I mean by that is that people take huge, gothic characters in pairings with gigantic, dramatic stakes full of titanic emotions and then make them feel small and mundane. Stripping the very romanicism from the bones of the romance.

There are many things that are deeply appealing to me about B&tB pairings or 'unlikely' pairings or Gothic romance in general, but something that is less structural while still being absolutely key is that it's not an easy relationship to get the characters into. It's not something that would happen under ordinary circumstances for either person. It's not a bond that can be forged without some form of pressure preventing these people from continuing in their regular patterns.

If you're writing an E/C fic where you start from scratch, the moment they so much as touch for the first time should be absolutely show-stoppingly prodigious. It can never be casual, not between these two, the idea of a touch being allowed should be an Event. The reader's heart should be thundering in their chest, the suspense should be palpable, the consummation divine. A single touch is a consummation for them, there should be that much tension. If they hold hands and I'm not holding my breath, you have done it wrong. The first kiss should feel like an atom bomb going off, the world should shift on its axis, a line is being crossed which has left both characters forever altered.

And people will instead write them like a standard romance novel couple who make standard pervy comments in the narration, get a bit flirty, casually hook up and then weigh pros and cons about whether dating fits into their life plans or not. All of this being totally without weight, without feeling like any kind of Rubicon has been crossed or that it's significant for the characters to have entered into something which must foundationally alter their worldview.

Reylo brushing fingers across the galaxy and it being the turning point of the entire narrative, given the same majesty and mystical significance as Luke's vision in the cave or Yoda lifting the X-Wing is the exact correct amount of emphasis for them reaching towards each other in tenderness. You have a character defined by abandonment and loneliness and a character who is surrounded by people but never touched, both unseen by anyone else, both aching for connection, both never having felt anything like this before, both aware of the galaxy-spanning consequences of what they're feeling. Them touching is le big deal.

The kiss for the B&tB pairing, the EtL pairing, any Gothic pairing has to feel out of reach, a chasm that cannot be crossed- until it happens, impossible yet inevitable. Something the characters could never have conceived of taking place at the beginning of the story, an infinite abyss of which they have somehow found themselves on the other side. You have to do the work to get them there, you have to build that bridge stone by stone, and it should be a sublime agony of seeing the path take shape while it still feels like the gap is just unbridgable, that no matter how close you come, it will never be complete, they can never get all the way across. Until they do.

If you write characters who have (or should have) that kind of vast gulf separating them as just kind of falling into an intimacy which isn't earned and thus means nothing, I just have no idea why we're here. Why buy a giant gothic castle of romanticism and then bulldoze it to build a minimalist condo? Everything about the pairing that makes it that pairing is stripped away. If these were people who could just meet at a party and end up in bed, they would be completely different people.

[cursedcola]

Synopsis: Years have passed since your homecoming to Earth. Your 'time' concluded and farewell inevitable at the hands of fate. After concluding their years at NRC, Wonderland's finest take it upon themselves to transcend dimensions and find the person who left without so much as a farewell. The catch is, they have no idea where you are, what this universe is like, and have to make a life for themselves in the meantime. How would they adapt to life on earth? Characters: Everyone. Mix of Sentient AU! and Modern AU! Warnings: None lol. This is for my own enjoyment! Part(s): Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasmonia You are here!: Scarabia! Disclaimer: I did a bit of research on brazilin culture, geography, etc. for this! I have not been to Brazil, and did my best to read up in order to develop a basic level of understanding for my writing. If anything is wrong or inaccurate, please let me know! I will likely be doing research for the rest of these posts as well.

Nothing could have prepared the students of NRC for what lied beyond the mirror. A world unlike any of them ever known with magic being virtually non-existent ( or so it appears to the general public). With nothing but the clothes on their backs, falsified basic identification, personal items, and the small bits of knowledge gathered from you; these young adults have one mission - find the dimension hopping prefect, and try to stay out of prison. It was time to split up, cover as much ground as possible, and make a life in this unfamiliar reality.

Let us see how these fresh minds conform to 'Life on Earth' !

Scarabia Residence: Brazil

Kalim Al-Asim

Location: Brasilia, Brasil.

Kalim is living in the lap of luxury. He owns a four-bedroom condo in the heart of Brazil's capital and it is nothing to turn a blind eye towards. Each room is decorated to the nines with each statement piece picked out by Kalim himself on whim. Some are specially imported (he has a tiny online shopping addiction) and others are items he instantly took to when shopping the street markets.

The place is decorated like an everlasting sunset. Jewel-encrusted tapestries hang from every wall, and the windows are stained-glass which carry a beautiful glow into the open-layout of the condo. It is most definetly a pent-house so the view is spectacular. He has anything one could ever want, from a velvet couch, marble fireplace, all the way to a refrigerator with more functions than you can think of. Not to mention the golden chandelier hanging in the dining area, yeesh

Now one has to wonder, where does Kalim get the money for all of this?

Occupation: Stock Trade and Entrepreneur

Kalim has succeeded in what every freshmen studying buisness has dreamed of at least once. The man has money, and he makes it in his sleep. Literally.

When Kalim arrived on earth he did so with a large sum of money in his bag. Enough to sustain himself and Jamil for three lifetimes. He wanted enough money to travel everywhere, and spoil you rotten. He was going to buy anything you could ever want, and then buy more. All to bring it back home so you will not have any reason to come back. (and if you had family? Friends? He was going to show them that you were in good care, and leave them with enough money that you won't worry about their well-being after leaving. Everything was going to be taken care of.)

But then he got word of the stock market. If there is one thing Kalim knows it is money and he easily climbed that corporate chain. At first it was for fun, but as time went on he somehow became one of the most respected people in the world. Since he started off with so much, it only grew and he began putting the assets into funding charities, research, and other causes that he believed in. Not only was he respected, but his goodhearted nature earned him many friends. Especially since he has a knack Jamil to tell if someone has good intentions or not.

Kalim took to brazilin culture very quickly. He himself is a very lively and passionate person so it was not difficult to adjust to that type of life. He often goes "under-cover," in horribly obvious disguises when there are festivals or celebrations that he wants to attend.

This sunshine can dance, let me tell ya. He can shake it 'till the crack of dawn and still keep going. Like a kid, he'll stop quickly to shovel some food down his throat (that Jamil packed for him because Kalim is Kalim) and then he'll be right back at it.

Obviously, everyone knows that it's him. A few glasses of wine and he's stripping off his disguise to have more freedom. Honestly? It gives Jamil a headache because someone out there could kidnap him and then Kalim would be screwed. Even in this life Jamil has to act as his babysitter.

Though...is it too optimistic to say that this would never happen? At least in the homely local areas that Kalim frequents? I am dead serious when I say that he'll go to the market and buy out a few stalls of their supplies that day. Or at least half of it. Just so he can contribute to the community's economy. If he doesn't need what he bought (say he purchased a ton of food) then he donates it to the homeless, etc.

He is safer in those areas than his own home and knows it. Which is probably why he's so willing to let loose.

Moving on, Kalim dresses just as extravagantly as he lives. Silk is his best friend, and he loves jewelry. Loves, loves, loves it. If it glitters, it is Kalim's.

He owns a bedazzle gun. Enough said.

He loves the sports on earth as well. Especially (soccer/football). He loves how passionate people can get over their teams, and gets absolutely hyped when throwing a viewing party. He'll invite anyone willing to come watch the game with him (and gets Jamil's seal of approval to be in their home)

The people would expect a man of this caliber to be taken, yet the media can't catch wind of a single partner. Not even a one-night stand. He never has arm-candy when attending events, and every attempt at flirting with him is a surefire failure

Why is this? Because he is looking for someone very special. He says this to the press every. single. time. and they have no choice but to believe him because there is no hidden agenda to be found

All he has is a name, and a description of emotions and memories that are too vague to put to a face. Any normal person would think him delusional-

Except for anyone that catches him off the camera. Those days when he's danced his feet into the ground, drank enough to fog his brain, and is pouring his heart out to whatever band is unfortunate enough to have been playing that night. Eventually Jamil will drag him home, and he'll go to bed crying over the mysterious person no one seems to know

Jamil Viper

Location: Brasilia, Brazil

And they were roommates

Jamil lives in Kalim's extravagant condo. Why would he go waste money renting somewhere else when he has babysitting duty 24/7? If he didn't live with Kalim, then who knows what state the place would be in. Jamil cooks, cleans, and essentially does everything for the house. He's the one stuck answering the buzzer for all of Kalim's late-night spending spree deliveries. Not only that, but he is on bouncer duty and performing background checks on everyone going in and out.

Kalim sweetie please cut this man some slack. He needs a bReAk

In all honesty, he dislikes the way Kalim has decorated the place. It is all very pretty but extremely unnecessary. He does not trust hiring a maid simply from how fragile everything is. Kalim tries often to buy Jamil decorations for his bedroom, and Jamil declines every time.

His bedroom is spacious enough to double as a living area. He also has his own personal washroom. The space is full of cool tones. Black, grey, golden yellow, and touches of burgundy. A complete contrast to the rest of the condo. He has multiple bookshelves aligning the walls, a corner dedicated to exercise equipment, a queen-sized bed with many quilts and decorative pillows, and a loveseat. There is always incense burning in his room and he has a large, "No Kalim Allowed," sign hanging outside of his door

Why? Because Jamil has taken to collecting weapons :)

He has many defense weapons hidden throughout his room. From needles, to daggers, to poisons, etc. His room is the storehouse for all of the condo's defense mechanisms. Jamil has also placed extra security cameras in the public living spaces and outside the door. Just to be safe.

Occupation: Administrative Assistant

Jamil is Kalim's assistant. He handles most of the paperwork, scheduling, etc. when it comes to their little buisness. He has no reason to find work elsewhere, right?

No. Jamil actually runs a traveling food stall. Depending on where the duo is, he'll manage to obtain permission to open up a stall in the local area for the duration of their visit. He'll serve renditions of food from his homeland, as well as spins on the local cuisine. One thing Jamil loves about earth is the new flavors and spices that he gets to work with when cooking!

The stall gives him the opportunity to talk with locals, and keep an eye on Kalim while doing so. How else is he supposed to make sure Kalim makes it home while still staying productive?

He also gets to ask questions. Like a random survey, as people wait for their food to cook he'll make idle chatter about recent gossip. He'll always slip in questions that may lead to your whereabouts, asking if there are any (Y/N)'s in the area etc.

In truth, he hopes one day you'll miraculously turn up. Either recognizing him or being drawn in by the scent of his cooking.

Another thing Jamil loves is the music. If Kalim can shake his fanny, then Jamil can pick up routines as easy as breathing! He likes to get a feel for the culture, and lives a small 'double life' where he gets to have fun.

Man can Samba. His hips do not lie. Shakira, Shakira

Something screams at this man when it comes to fashion. Like Kalim, he likes to go a bit extra. He simply goes in the opposite direction of Kalim and takes to street-fashion. He picks up pieces as he sees them, and files through local businesses like it's no one's buisness.

He is also one of those people who collects sneakers. He has some for fashion, but mainly likes to have many pairs for dancing and travel. He likes to hike, and the hot weather does not bother him one bit.

When traveling, Jamil picks up two mementos from each place he visits. One is for his sister, and the other is for you. This is another reason why Kalim is not allowed in his room. He has them tucked away somewhere safe, but since he constantly lectures his friend on being more frugal it would not be good if he saw the growing stash. It started off with small trinkets here and there, but now the pile is massive.

Jamil is excited to show it to you. He wants to demonstrate just how far his search has taken him, and how much of a pain in the ass it was to find you.

Yet, his chest grows cold every time he tosses a new item in with the collection. It's a reminder of his failure, and how another day has passed without you by his side.

[tchallasbabymama]

Don't Forget About Us

Hello, my lovelies. Here’s my contribution to @nahimjustfeelingit-writes smut challenge (the prompt is in bold!) Let’s see what Erik’s up to now, shall we?

Don’t forget to check out my masterlist to read my other stories and oneshots. Your comments and reblogs mean the world to me, so make sure to let me know what you think! And let me know if you want to be tagged in any of my writing. Enjoy😘

Word count: 5,595

CW: smut...duh.

“So, what do you do for a living?”

Kayla sighed internally at the question and took a sip of her Pinot Grigio. She hated first dates with a burning passion, but unfortunately, that was the only way to find a man around here. She went through the motions of politely answering his questions, barely asking any of her own. She didn’t care. Even just fifteen minutes in, Kayla could tell he didn’t excite her, and she lamented the waste of a good outfit as she listened to him drone on about his life. Every now and then, he’d stop and ask a question about her, but she could tell he was only asking so he could talk more about himself.

How many siblings do you have?

What’s your sign?

Why did your last relationship end?

Her mind traveled to her ex-boyfriend, Erik Stevens. They had spent six blissful years together, and Kayla thought he was the one. She wanted them to get married and start a family, and she thought he did, too, but every time she brought it up, he’d find some excuse to change the subject. At thirty years old, Kayla wasn’t getting any younger, so she grew tired of his avoidance and eventually cut him loose. She needed more out of life, but the guy currently sitting across from her certainly wasn’t it.

“We wanted different things,” she answered vaguely and took another sip. It would be a long night with what’s-his-name. David? Devon? Whatever. At least he had money and took her to a nice restaurant.

Darryl took the opportunity to bore her with the details of his job, which Kayla already knew. He was a colleague of her best friend, Carina’s husband. They worked at the same law firm, and Carina decided to hook them up after tiring of hearing Kayla complain about dating apps. As much as Kayla hated Tinder, she would’ve much rather been at home on her couch swiping left on the cesspool of single men Oakland had to offer. Every few dozen swipes or so, she’d find a cutie, but his bio would be abysmal, or his conversation skills would fall flat.

Despite the fact that their relationship just couldn’t make it, Kayla still thought of Erik as the gold standard. Just thinking about his dimples and his struggle beard made her smile dreamily. His big, strong arms would wrap around her and hold her tight at night, and she’d trace her fingers over the intentionally placed keloid scars that held his darkest secrets. She missed retwisting his locs and the way he always smelled like sandalwood and warm vanilla. Kayla didn’t want to admit it, but she still loved him. No man could compare to her Erik.

“Hello? Kayla?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry. Can you repeat that last part?”

“Uh, yeah, sure. What’s got you so distracted, babygirl?”

Kayla fought the bile rising in her throat. She wasn’t his babygirl. It didn’t even sound right coming from his mouth. Maybe it was the thinness of his lips. They weren’t “white man” thin, but they couldn’t hold a candle to the juicy pussy pleasers she had grown accustomed to.

“Nothing, just thought I saw somebody I know. You were saying?”

“Just that you look beautiful tonight,” Damon attempted to flirt with her.

Kayla wanted to roll her eyes but thanked him instead and smiled politely again. Of course she looked beautiful; she had pulled out all the stops for what she had hoped would be a good night out. Kayla had squeezed her thickness into a lavender satin dress. The way the dress’s skirt cinched on the side kept it snug around her plush waist, but the high slit that traveled up her thigh was the main attraction. The strappy silver heels on her feet showed off her matching pedicure that contrasted beautifully with her glistening brown skin, and her makeup was flawless. Her outerwear for the night, a cropped fur jacket that had found its way to the coat check when they arrived, was the icing on the cake. Her outfit deserved the appreciation, just not from Deshawn.

The waiter saved her from having to focus on her date when she brought out the food they had ordered. Since Kayla knew Derek had money, she had ordered the whole lobster, and she fought her mouth from drooling too much as the waiter set it down in front of her. It laid on a bed of forbidden rice, and the side of roasted brussels sprouts and cremini mushrooms looked heavenly. The ramekin of drawn butter off to the side tempted her as it sat next to the minuscule seafood fork. She may not enjoy her company for the evening, but Kayla damn sure was going to enjoy her meal.

“Looks good,” Dominic called from the other side of the table, breaking Kayla from her trance as he cut into his wagyu beef.

“Sure does.” Kayla wasted no time before digging into her meal. Not only was it the perfect excuse to avoid conversation, but it was perfect, period.

A slight chill permeated the air as the door swung open and the crisp January air entered the small restaurant. Kayla shivered as she complained internally about being forced to sit near the door, but that shiver intensified as she heard a voice. His voice.

“Reservation for Stevens, please.”

Kayla stilled.

“Of course. Right this way, sir,” the maitre d’ responded, and Kayla heard three sets of footsteps coming her way.

--------

“Babe, let’s go!”

“Yell at me one more time, woman,” Erik warned as he came around the corner into the living room, fastening his watch.

“I swear, you take more time getting ready than I do.”

“Whatever, Mo. You ready?”

“Nigga, I been ready!”

Erik rolled his eyes and grabbed his keys. It would be a rough night, and things were already starting off on a bad foot. He and Monique had been seeing each other for the better part of a year, and he’d finally reached his limit. She was overbearing, rude, and just after him for his money, but he hated being alone, so he put up with her bullshit. His cousin, T’Challa, had tried to hook him up with a few ladies back in Wakanda when he went to visit after his breakup, but nothing stuck. Almost immediately after coming back to the states, Erik met Monique at a charity event for the Outreach Center. She had the singing voice of an angel and had been booked as the entertainment for the evening. Erik was drawn to her like a sailor to a siren, and she immediately sank her teeth into him. Past her vocal talents, Monique wasn’t really anything special. Her personality left a lot to be desired, she wasn’t the sharpest crayon in the box, and she just wasn’t her.

The moment Kayla ended their relationship a year ago, Erik’s whole world shattered. He had lived a life full of pain and loss, but Kayla had been his lifeline. She pulled him out of the dark and made him revel in the sunshine. Hell, she was the sunshine, but now he had settled for a UV lamp at best. Kayla had wanted a life that Erik was too scared to give her, but that fear became his downfall. He still missed her most nights. He was lonely, and Monique was there to keep him company, but that wasn’t enough for him anymore. Erik craved a connection that Monique just couldn’t provide. So he decided he had to break it off and figured that doing so in a public place would probably be best. She had a tendency to throw things when she got angry.

The car ride to Chez Martine was tense. Monique had been angry all day because Erik had taken back his credit card even though she wanted to buy a new dress for their date. Her lousy mood almost made him dump her back at his condo, but Erik kept a cool head and stayed focused on the plan. He ignored the way Monique complained the entire time she got ready, reluctantly putting on a dress he had seen her wear before. It didn’t matter to him; he knew what the night held.

When they walked into the restaurant, Erik’s heart dropped into his stomach. He’d recognize that shoulder blade tattoo anywhere. She had cut off all her hair and lost a few pounds, but he knew for sure that he was looking at Kayla. His Kayla. He forced himself to look straight ahead as they passed her table and prayed that the maitre d’ didn’t sit them where she could see him. Unfortunately, he had no such luck because the only open table for two was directly within her line of sight. He prayed again that Monique would sit on the far side of the table, but Bast ignored his pleas once more. He had to sit facing her, and as soon as he got comfortable in his chair, her gaze slyly trailed over to him. They locked eyes across the room, and Erik’s heart stopped. She was just as beautiful as the last time he saw her all those months ago, but who the fuck was that sitting across from her?

“What are you looking at?” Monique’s abrasive voice cut through his eardrums.

“Nothing. Just thought I saw someone I know, that’s all.”

She cut her eyes at him and turned around to look as he buried his face in the menu.

“Quit being nosy,” he complained.

“I just wanna see who’s got your attention, that’s all.” Monique turned back around with a sour look on her face. “It’s probably that fat girl with her cleavage all out.”

“Mo, just look at the fucking menu and act like you got some sense.”

“Fine.”

Monique pouted until the waiter showed up, but she plastered a fake smile on her face as he took their order. As usual, she ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, and it bothered him to no end that she was hellbent on spending all of his money. Of course, he had plenty, but she felt entitled to it. Kayla never cared about him being rich. Hell, when they got together, she didn’t even know he was a prince, but he loved to spoil her nonetheless. He loved the look on her face when he’d buy her things or take her on the expensive trips that she more than deserved. Kayla appreciated everything he did for her with all her heart, but she’d say the same thing every time.

“Thank you, baby, but you’re all I need.”

Erik smiled fondly at the memory of when he bought her a diamond tennis bracelet from Wakanda for their second anniversary. She was so excited to have diamonds that weren’t marred by exploited labor that she damn near dropped the box when she saw what was inside. It had been a rough year for them, what with him disappearing for a couple of months to seize the Wakandan throne and all. She certainly had plenty of colorful words for him when he came back. He’ll never forget the look on her face when he showed up at her door. He had brought T’Challa for backup just in case, but she looked right past the king as tears welled up in her eyes at seeing her Erik, alive and well.

Erik’s eyes started to get misty as he thought about the way she kissed him with so much emotion...then slapped him across the face for leaving. His gaze wandered back over to Kayla and he noticed the light bounce off of something on her arm. She was wearing the bracelet.

As if she felt his glare, Kayla shifted uncomfortably in her seat, so he averted his eyes back to Monique, who had caught him staring again.

“Why don’t you go say hi?” she asked sarcastically, making him roll his eyes so hard they almost got stuck.

--------

Erik Stevens. Here, of all places. He just had to be here.

Kayla noticed that he didn’t seem to be enjoying his modelesque date’s company any more than she was enjoying Darwin’s, and the pang of jealousy she felt at seeing him with another woman went away. She knew she had no right to feel any kind of way about it, especially since she was the one that broke things off. That didn’t make it any easier, though.

Dylan was too wrapped up in his steak to notice her wandering eye, but it seemed that Erik’s food was as uninteresting as the woman across from him. Kayla watched as he half-heartedly pushed it around his plate, but he certainly kept his favorite whiskey coming. She wanted to chuckle but didn’t want Daniel to think he had anything to do with her levity. They were both drowning their dissatisfactions in their alcohols of choice, and Kayla got a phantom taste of Uncle Nearest 1856 on her lips as she watched him take a sip. When he set the glass down and licked his lips, Kayla felt flush. She missed those lips…

“So, how about dessert?” Damien asked as he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his stomach. “I hear their creme brulee is amazing.”

“Uh, sure, why not?”

“You know,” he began as he leaned in and reached for her hands. She allowed him to take them, but the softness of his hands disgusted her. No callouses, no roughness, not even a firm grip. “I’ve had a great night. I’d love to see you again.”

Kayla chuckled nervously, unsure of how to proceed.

“What are you doing next-”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!”

A shrill voice pierced the air as Erik’s date bolted up from her seat. Desmond, and the whole restaurant, turned around to see what was going on, and Kayla took the opportunity to remove her hands from his.

“Keep your voice down,” Erik sneered through his teeth. “We’re in public.”

“So?! You bring me out here just to dump me? To dump this?!” she gestured at her slim figure, and he rolled his eyes.

“You ain’t even all that,” he waved her off. He was tired of playing nice, and Kayla could see the exasperation written all over his face.

“Excuse me, miss-” the waiter attempted to calm her down, but the crazed woman cut him off.

“Stay out of this!”

“I’m so sorry,” Erik mouthed to the poor man who would absolutely be getting a monstrous tip later.

“Oh, you’re sorry for him, but not for me?”

“Mo, just sit down. We can finish our meal like adults-”

“Fuck you, Erik.” She threw her dirty martini at him, soaking the front of his all-black ensemble.

Kayla could damn near see the steam coming out of his ears as his apparent ex stormed out of the restaurant. Erik locked eyes with her across the room, and when he saw the concern written all over her face, his softened.

“Whew, poor fella,” Dexter commented as he turned back around. “Where was I? Oh-”

“Excuse me, where’s your restroom?” Kayla interrupted him as their waiter walked by.

“Right down there.” She pointed at a set of stairs off to the side, and Kayla thanked her as she slid out of her seat.

“I’ll be back, Darius.”

“It’s Denzel.” He deflated.

“Fuck,” she froze. She had been sure it was Darius. “Still, I’ll be back.”

“I’ll be here,” he responded, obviously upset by her slip-up.

Kayla hurried off down the stairs and leaned against the wall as she waited for either of the single-use restrooms to open up. She took a deep breath and opened her clutch, reaching in to pull out her phone with a shaky hand and typing in his number. It was one of the few she had memorized, just in case.

“You ok?”

Her thumb hovered over the send button, but she couldn’t press it. Her heart nearly thumped out of her chest at the thought of starting a conversation with him, but something within her said that she should. It would be weird not to say anything after all that, right?

“Hey-”

“Shit!” Kayla dropped her phone when his silky baritone graced her ears.

“My fault, ma.” Erik leaned over and picked the phone off the floor, checking it for cracks. He saw she had typed a message out to him and smirked before handing it back to her.

“T-thanks.”

“No problem. And, yeah, I’m ok.”

“Huh?”

Erik pointed at her phone screen.

“Oh! Right. Um, well, that’s good to hear.” Kayla attempted to push her hair behind her ear out of habit, forgetting she had just cut it all off a week ago.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You ok? You don’t seem to into ole dude out there.”

Kayla sighed and rolled her eyes, “Oh, him.”

“Damn, it’s like that?” Erik laughed, and she slapped his arm. That slight contact was enough to spark a flame in them both, and Erik’s face turned serious. “For real, though, not going well?”

“Better than you, it seems,” she quipped as she eyed his wet shirt. That was a bad idea because his first three buttons were undone, and she caught a peek of the raised scars that she missed so much. And that broad chest, and the chain with his father’s ring that he always wore. He’d let her wear it from time to time, and she always felt like it was such an honor. He trusted her enough to let her wear it. He loved her enough to-

Kayla pried her eyes away and made yet another mistake: she looked up at him. Those eyes still looked like sweet, sweet molasses, and even though his locs were braided back, she could tell he was letting them grow out. She momentarily wondered who was retwisting them nowadays, but her train of thought was cut short by the scent of sandalwood and vanilla. Kayla’s mind went blank as she inhaled slowly.

“Heh, yeah. That was...that was pretty embarrassing. Not even gonna lie.” Erik looked away shyly, unable to hold her gaze.

“I guess you’ll need to find a new date spot, huh?”

“Nah, I think I’m good on dating for a while.”

“Same,” Kayla sighed. “Dating sucks.”

“Yeah…”

One of the bathroom doors unlocked, and a middle-aged white man stepped out and passed them on the way up the stairs.

“Well, I should-”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Kayla walked towards the bathroom, but before she could reach the door, she felt a light tug on her wrist. His touch still gave her goosebumps, and he noticed her raised skin as she turned to face him.

“I just, uh...it was nice seeing you, Kay-kay.” Erik smiled at her, and she nearly melted. She missed when he called her that, too. “You look good.”

“Thanks, E.” She smiled back. “So do you.”

He let her go, and Kayla disappeared into the bathroom. When she closed the door behind her, she took a deep breath to center herself. After all these months, Erik still took her breath away. He clouded her senses and scrambled her mind. Even as she took care of business, her brain replayed their short interaction on a loop.

Kayla locked eyes with her reflection as she dried her hands. How could she go back up there to- what’s his name? Oh, yeah, Da- Denzel. That’s it, Denzel. How could she go back up there to his mediocre company when the man she still loved had made her feel so alive with just one touch. That was the magic of Erik, his magnetism. When they were together, she couldn’t help but be drawn to him, even when she wanted to slap him across his beautiful face. Those were some of the best times, though. If she was angry at him, he knew exactly what to do to calm her down. To put her in her place. To remind her-

Kayla’s daydreaming was cut short by a knock at the door.

“Occupied!”

It came again.

“I’ll be out in a minute!”

She reached for another paper towel to dab off the sweat that had started to pool on her skin at the thought of Erik’s dominance when the door opened.

“What the f- Erik?!”

He pushed inside the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

“You need to start locking doors, Kay.”

“I- what do you want?”

“I want to talk to you,” he spoke as he moved closer to her.

“Here?!”

“Yeah, here,” he chuckled.

Kayla rolled her eyes and tried to push past him.

“Now is not the time or place-”

“When is?” he blocked her exit, and she crossed her arms in defeat, looking up at him through her lashes as she leaned against the sink. “Look, I just need to say something real quick.”

“Fine,” Kayla sighed and gestured for him to continue. She knew there was no use fighting him. She wasn’t leaving that bathroom until he was good and ready.

“Kay,” his voice softened, and she looked away only to have her face pulled back in his direction. “Kay-kay, look at me.”

She made the mistake of doing just that, getting lost in his eyes again.

“I miss you,” Erik murmured.

“Erik-”

“Look, I know, ok? I know. And I’m sorry, Kay. I really am- no, look at me. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you...but I miss you, girl.”

Kayla’s eyes welled up with tears that she tried her hardest to blink away, but one had the nerve to fall. Erik wiped it away, and the next one, and the next one. A sob wracked Kayla’s body, and he wrapped his arms around her body.

“Don’t cry, babygirl. I know you worked hard on your makeup.”

Kayla laughed through her tears, but the emotions washed back over her, and she buried her face into his chest. It was already soaked with gin, so what harm would a few tears do?

He held her and rocked her softly from side to side as she cried, and after a couple of minutes, she found the will to look up at him again. His cheeks were wet, so she reached up and swiped her thumbs over them as she held his face in her small hands. He nuzzled into them and kissed her wrists.

“I miss you, too, E,” she croaked.

“I know, babygirl.”

He leaned in to kiss her forehead, and she closed her eyes as his soft lips caressed her skin. They stayed intertwined for who knows how long until Erik felt Kayla begin to pull back. He looked down at her, and the two of them locked eyes. Before they knew it, their lips had met in the middle in a passionate embrace. They got lost in each other for a moment until common sense returned to Kayla, and she pushed him off.

“We can’t-”

“Why not?”

“Because…”

“Because what, Kay?” Erik’s voice rumbled as he closed what little gap was between their bodies. He left soft kisses on her temples before working down to her cheeks, then her jawline, and eventually the column of her neck. She let out a soft whimper when his teeth grazed the crook of her neck but pushed him back again before he could continue any further.

“Erik, I...I still love you, and-”

He attacked her lips with his, hands feverishly gripping her waist as he pushed her further into the sink. She had nowhere to go, and she was ok with that.

“I...love you...too...babygirl,” he whispered between kisses.

Kayla’s mind went blank as he lifted her up on the counter and pressed himself between her legs. She could feel him, all of him, and damn did she miss that monster between his legs.

“Erik,” she moaned as he nipped at her earlobe. He still knew how to play her body like a violin.

“Mmm, say it again.”

“Erik!” she squeaked as she felt his strong hands grip her thighs.

“Just like that,” he groaned, and she flooded her already wet panties.

“Baby-”

He connected his forehead to hers and stared deep into her eyes. “You miss me?”

“Mhm,” Kayla nodded with her lip between her teeth.

“I miss you, too, baby. I think about you all the time. Every day,” he pecked her lips, “every night. I miss everything about you, Kay-kay. Your off-key singing, your horrible cooking-”

“Shut up,” Kayla giggled as his hands traveled up her dress.

“Your body…fuck I miss this body. I miss how you smell, how you taste...how that tight little pussy feels wrapped around my dick.”

Kayla widened her legs for him as his fingers found their way to the seat of her panties, stroking up and down her slit. Erik kissed his way back down her face and over to her ear, his warm breath sending chills down her spine.

“Do you think about me when you touch yourself? Because I do. You’re all I see when I stroke my dick...wishing it was your hand...your lips...this fucking pussy.”

Erik pushed her panties to the side, and his nimble fingers circled her clit. Kayla let out a small moan that was music to his ears, making fingers move faster and her breath grow shallower with each rotation.

“Answer me.”

“Mhm.”

“Come on, babygirl, you can do better than that. You think about me when you play in your pussy? This pussy right here?” he asked as he slapped her vulva, her wetness sticking to his hand.

“Y-yes, baby-”

“Uh-uh, you know who I am. Say it,” Erik commanded as he snuck three fingers inside her wetness, making her moan loudly in his ear. “Shhh, you gotta be quiet, babygirl. You don’t want people out there knowing how much of a slut you are, right?”

Kayla shook her head no.

“That’s what I thought. Now, I asked you a question, Kayla,” he reminded her. His gruff voice made her weak, and the fingers that were steadily speeding up inside her certainly didn’t help. “Answer me. Who am I, babygirl?”

Kayla tried to hold out as much as she could. She didn’t want to say it, too proud to give in, but the way he was currently stretching out her pussy and curling his fingers inside her made her cling to his shoulders. The bastard knew what he was doing, and she didn’t want to let him win. But then, he played dirty and bit down on her neck. She cried out, and when he pulled back to look at her, the ferocity in his eyes drove her up the wall.

“I said, who the fuck am I, Kayla?” Erik growled. His hand sped up, making her weak with every thrust. She couldn’t hold it anymore and came undone around him, her mouth betraying her as his name fell from her lips.

“Daddy!” she gasped as her pussy spasmed, and he chuckled darkly.

“Damn right I am,” he kissed her lips, “now gimme that pussy. Daddy missed his pussy.”

Kayla heard a rip and felt the cool air between her legs as he tore through her panties to get to her treasure trove. She reached down between them and grabbed his clothed erection in her hand, making him groan as he bit down on his luscious bottom lip. She undid his belt buckle and slowly unzipped his pants before reaching in and pulling out his throbbing dick.

The longing in her eyes told him everything he needed to know, so he pushed her legs back and tapped his head on her clit.

“You want daddy’s dick in you?”

“Mhm,” she whimpered.

“Good.”

He pushed in and groaned at the feeling of her pussy walls gripping him as he sheathed himself inside her.

“Fuck, you feel like home.”

Kayla moaned into his neck in response and wound her hips against him, meeting him thrust for thrust as he stroked into her slow and deep. She couldn’t form words. He felt so damn good inside her that Kayla’s brain had short-circuited. Erik’s dick hit spots that she could never find herself no matter how hard she tried. Even in her dreams, he drove her body wild. She had spent the last year trying to find somebody, anybody who could make her feel that way, but nobody could compare to Erik Stevens.

Erik and Kayla panted heavily into each others’ mouths as he made love to her body, and as soon as Kayla started to tense up, his thrusts grew harder.

“I-I-”

“I know, babygirl. Daddy feels it,” he groaned as he nipped at her bottom lip. “Cum on my dick like a good girl.”

His words sent Kayla into overdrive, and her body shook as she spilled over him. Her spasming walls hugged him tight, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, begging him with her eyes.

“You feel amazing,” she moaned.

“Mhm. I know them other niggas wasn’t hitting it like this. I just know it. Look at you, cumming all over daddy’s dick. Look at it!” He grabbed her chin and made her look down at her throbbing pussy as his dick slid in and out of her.

“We look so good, daddy!”

Erik slammed into her, and she bit into his shoulder to keep from screaming. He gave her his all over and over, rocking the countertop in the process.

“We’ll look even better if you let me cum in this pussy. Mix my cum with yours-”

“Yes!”

“Yes?” He chuckled. “You want it that bad, huh? Nasty ass, in here getting fucked while that bum ass nigga’s waiting for you upstairs.”

“Mmm, I want it.”

“Want what, babygirl?” Erik teased as he brought his thumb to her clit, strumming it slowly as he thrust into her.

“You. I want you to cum deep in me.”

“Shit,” Erik groaned. “You want it deep in there?”

“Mhm. Put it where it belongs, daddy.” Kayla licked up the side of his neck, making his knees buckle. “Cum in your pussy.”

Erik lost all sense of control and pounded into her tight pussy, somehow getting even deeper in preparation for his release. Kayla held on tight as she felt him begin to spasm inside her, and she released around him again as his deep moans tickled her ear. Erik thrust extra deep and held his dick in place as he emptied his balls into her warmth, whimpering lightly as she rubbed his back to soothe him and bring him back down.

“I missed you, babygirl.”

“I missed you, too, daddy.”

They stayed like that, wrapped up in each other until their breathing slowed. Erik was the first to move, slowly pulling himself out of Kayla as she whined at the loss of contact. He kissed all over her face before planting a slow, sweet kiss on her lips.

“I can’t let you go again, Kay-kay,” his voice cracked as tears threatened to fall from his eyes again.

Kayla pulled him back in and kissed him so deeply that she nearly lost herself in him again, but he pulled away and looked her in her eyes.

“I’m serious, girl. I’ll do anything. I’ll marry you, give you as many big-headed babies as you want. Just, please, Kay-” she cut him off with another kiss to shut him up.

“We should go back to my place and talk,” she whispered, and Erik’s face lit up. Something about the way she said it, the way she kissed him, the way her body still responded to his...it gave him hope. Kayla smiled at him and pecked his lips once more before hopping off of the sink. He had to catch her because her legs were wobbly, and she stumbled a little in her heels.

“You aight?” he laughed.

“No, nigga,” she slapped his chest, and the two of them got caught in a laughing fit. They had really just fucked in the bathroom at Chez Martine. Kayla was on cloud nine until a thought occurred to her, and her face fell flat. “Oh, shit.”

“What?” Erik’s face turned serious, and his eyes scanned over her body, looking for whatever the problem was.

Kayla started giggling again, and he looked confused.

“What is it?” he asked, barely able to keep a straight face. Her laugh was always so infectious…

“Demetrius.”

“Who?!”

“My date.”

“Girl, don’t worry about him. He probably thinks you dipped out anyway.”

Kayla shrugged and fixed her dress as Erik stuffed his shirt back in his pants. They checked their reflections in the mirror, and Kayla was pleasantly surprised that her makeup was still intact thanks to that setting spray she had splurged on the other day.

“Ready?” Erik asked as he admired her beauty. Kayla nodded, and he unlocked the door, opening it to find Duncan leaning against the wall with a sour look on his face. Kayla’s eyes blew wide as she tried to figure out what to say to her date for the evening.

“Heyyy, um…”

“Denzel,” he seethed.

“Yeah, sorry. So, um, we’re-”

“Sorry, bruh,” Erik clapped him on the shoulder, “but we heading out. Bathroom’s all yours, though.”

Erik pulled Kayla along, and she sent Deion an apologetic glance before following Erik up the stairs. It seemed the whole restaurant knew what had occurred, but neither one of them cared. They were just happy to be around each other again. It had been entirely too long.

Taglist: @ladymac82, @kitesatforestp, @harleycativy, @raysunshine78, @maddeningmayhem, @theblulife, @motheroffae, @love-mesome-me,@toni9, @bribrisback, @impremenior, @blacklytical, @uzumaki-rebellion, @honeyandpeaches, @cecereads209, @wakandama2,

[willwriteforhugs]

i wish i’d never met you- choi jongho

boyfriend! jongho x reader - one shot!

word count: 1.8k

genre: angst, pain

synopsis:  your idol boyfriend finds out that you’ve been getting hate for dating him, and you’ve been hiding it this whole time. this doesn’t sit well with him...

warnings: death threats, arguing and yelling, cursing

a/n: this hurt so much to write i’m sorry

so i feel i should put a sort of disclaimer- this fic involves the mc receiving some pretty serious threats and hate content, and i just want to say: this sort of behavior is absolutely not okay in real life, or even fiction. i wrote this as a way to express my anger towards fans who act in this way- sending hate and threats to people you don’t know is horrible and completely fucked up. i just don’t want anyone to misunderstand and think i’m condoning this behavior. it’s very destructive, and unfortunately very real.

on a lighter note, i do hope you all appreciate this fic. it was hard but incredibly entertaining to create. thank you for reading <33

- - - 

your keys jingled as you struggled to fit your house key into the lock. stupid lock. you jiggled it harder, finally hearing the telltale click. your apartment complex had never gotten around to replacing it, though they said they would.

you sighed as you entered your home. it had been a long day, but you were looking forward to tonight. your boyfriend, jongho, finally had a night off. he'd been so busy lately... of course, you knew this was just how it was. dating an idol was a lot of work, and one of the downsides was the lack of one-on-one time. but jongho was supposed to join you at your small condo in only a few hours. so you kept your head up.

your relationship with ateez's beloved maknae had gone public recently. dispatch had caught you. you can still see the headline: "ateez's jongho spotted out with female office worker- to be or not to be?" jongho had been furious, apologizing profusely. you'd told him it was alright, though. after all, you weren't an idol. this couldn't possibly turn into much of a scandal. you will admit that you had been nervous about the public knowing- but it had been two weeks already, and not much had happened. (well, there was one exception, but you had convinced yourself it wasn't a big deal.)

you had picked up the mail on your way into the building, and you now set it on the counter, ready to filter through it.

you spent the next few minutes sorting the mail into piles. bills. ads. more bills.

then, a letter. your address was scrawled in pencil on the envelope, and there was no return address. you flipped it over, dread beginning to claw up your throat. you peeled the envelope open and pulled out the single sheet within. your hands trembled as you read what was typed:

"bitch. i told you to kill yourself. don't make me do it first. you can't just traipse around dating idols, you fucking whore. who do you think you are? you should be scared, knowing i have your address. kill yourself already. i shouldn't have to ask."

your breath came in shallow gasps. your heart threatened to pound out of your chest. this was the fourth letter you'd received. frantically, you shoved the letter back into it's sleeve, then sank to the ground.

the letters were the exception. you didn't know who was sending them. all you knew is that it was scaring you. you prayed it was a hoax. in fact, you'd been convinced that the first one was. but this was the fourth, and you were no longer thinking this was a joke.

suddenly, your cell phone rang, scaring you so hard you jumped. you stood up and left the room to go get your cell. and for a blissful few hours, the letter was forgotten.

- - - 

you were in the bathroom reapplying makeup when you heard him come in. 

“jongho-yah!” you called. “i’m back here!”

a moment later, your boyfriend rounded the corner, looking beautiful as ever. his dark hair was in a fluffy, wavy style today, and he was barefaced. you smiled as he came in, wrapping his arms around you from the back.

“y/n-ah.” he mumbled, his face buried in your hair.

you turned your head, hoping for a kiss. “hello.”

he responded by pressing his warm lips to yours. he ended the kiss quickly, pulling away to look you in the eyes. when you didn’t say anything, he did it again, this time lingering. he parted your lips with his own, and let his tongue brush the inside of your mouth.

this time you were the one who pulled away. “woah there, tiger.”

his face flushed. “i’m sorry, i just missed you.”

“i missed you too.”

he smiled and the two of you exited the bathroom, heading back out to the main room. 

“are you hungry?” he asked, suggesting buying take-out.

you told him not yet. for a few minutes, the two of you made idle conversation, considering how you were going to spend the evening. 

out of the blue, you were overcome with a sudden chill. you shivered, running your hands over your bare arms. “hold on, babe. let me grab a sweatshirt.”

you slipped into your bedroom, seeking out your favorite black hoodie. (stolen from jongho, of course.)

when you emerged from your room, you saw your boyfriend standing at the kitchen counter, mindlessly thumbing through your mail.

your mail.

the letter.

you gasped, rushing to where he was standing. your sudden movement startled him, and he stepped back. frantically, you snatched the envelope off of the surface of the counter. 

jongho raised his eyebrows. “what was that?”

“nothing.” you answered too quickly, and his brow furrowed. 

“baby, are you okay? where is the letter from?”

“it’s not important.” you snapped, reaching to shove it in the trash. before you could get it in, though, jongho had slipped the letter from your hand.

“jongho!” you yelped. “wait, please-”

but it was too late. he had gotten the letter out, and his eyes were already scanning the page.

a beat passed, the room filling with thick, insufferable silence.

then, finally, he spoke. his voice was low. 

“what the fuck is this?”

you squeaked, reaching for the letter again. jongho spun around, grabbing your wrist midair. 

“y/n-ah! what the hell is this?!” his voice had risen.

tears threatened to spill over your cheeks. “it’s nothing, nothing! it’s just a joke, i promise-” 

he cut you off. “y/n-ah.” your boyfriend’s voice broke. “is this the first?”

your vision blurred.

what were you supposed to say? that it wasn’t? that the letter was only the most recent, but you’d never told him? how do you tell the man you love that you’d been lying to him? 

“y/n.” you’d never heard jongho speak with so much emotion. “how. many.”

your voice cracked as you responded. “this is the fourth.”

jongho’s face splintered. “the fourth?” he whispered, his voice foggy. his eyes were unfocused. a beat passed, then; “why wouldn’t you tell me?”

your knees threatened to buckle. you didn’t want him to know for so many reasons. because you loved him. because he loved you. because you didn’t want him to worry. because you didn’t want to get him in trouble. because you didn’t- 

“what the hell is wrong with you? why wouldn’t you tell me?”

in that moment, you swore you felt your heart crack.

the room was once again filled with a suffocating silence, strangling you as he turned his thoughts over.

finally, he spoke, the realization having hit him.

“you didn’t want me to worry. to blame myself.”

somehow, even though the sentences themselves seemed kind, your boyfriend’s tone practically dripped in venom. you looked back up at him, vision blurry, but he plowed on.

“y/n, that’s not how relationships work. why would you hide this? why would you put your health, your happiness-” he stuttered, having a hard time voicing his emotions. “your fucking safety! your life, goddammit! why would you rather risk that than worry me?!”

something in his voice began to anger you, and you snapped back at him, surprising the both of you.

“because, jongho! because i fucking KNEW-” you slam your finger into his chest. “i knew you’d blame yourself, just like you are right now!”

“i blame myself because it’s my fault!”

“how?!” your voice rose to meet his. “how the hell is this your fault?”

“because it’s me! i’m the issue here!” he seethed. “if you were dating any normal guy, this wouldn’t happen. “but no. i was the one who fell in love with you, and now you carry around a weight you never asked for.”

you inhaled sharply, responding before you could even fully absorb his words. “but i chose you, too! i love you, and i’m willing to carry that weight, i always have been!”

“but that’s not the point! the point is that in the end, this!-” he gestured angrily to the letter. “this is because of me. and i hate it. because you know damn well who those come from. they come from crazy fucking people who don’t want to see you with me.”

you sighed, indignant and angry. “i don’t see why it has to be your problem! that is my fucking name on the letter, not yours.”

“but you wouldn’t be getting shit like that in the first place if it weren’t for me!” a beat passed and suddenly his whole body seemed to deflate. “it’s my own fucking fault for loving you.”

you couldn’t possibly think of how to respond.

“you... you get so much shit for being with me, and you know it won’t stop. i’ve made your life so much harder than it has to be.”

you opened your mouth to protest, but your boyfriend plows on.

“if only i wasn’t part of the equation- this would be unthinkable then.”

you felt ravaged. like you were dangling on the edge of a cliff, barely holding on. once, jongho had been your support. your rock. now- now you felt the air beneath your feet, sending chills through you as your heart hung by a thread. 

“god.” he put his face in his hands. “god, sometimes i just wish i’d never met you.”

the thread snapped. you let go of the cliff.

you fell.

you inhaled as the brutal words hit you. they entered like a smooth knife, only to be jerked and twisted in your gut. you took a step back, silent tears streaming down your face.

jongho instantly realized his mistake, his face paling. “y/n...” his voice was almost a whisper as he neared tears himself.  “you know i didn’t mean it like that,” he took a hold of your wrist, and you jerked it back.

“no.” you managed. your voice was scratchy and hoarse. “no. you did.” 

you couldn’t look him in the eyes. turning away, you stumbled towards your front door. without stopping to think- to think that it was already late, to think that you were leaving your own apartment- you shoved on your shoes and left. you didn’t even take your cell phone.

- - - 

back in the kitchen, jongho’s knees buckled, and he sank to the ground. a moment passed. then he put his head in his hands, and for the first time in ages, he sobbed- letting the world swallow him and his feelings whole.

[venicebixch]

Devil in Miami part 7

enjoy :)

“This is the last of it,” I say, hanging Vinnie the last handful of cash.

He runs it through the money counter machine. “And it is… 916 dollars.”

I write the number down. “Okay, so we can just leave that floating,” I say.

“Here’s a rubber band, wrap it in that.”

I wrap it up and toss it next to the other stacks.

“Alright, so what’s the grand total?” I ask.

Vinnie moves the stacks around, counting in his head. “$298,916,” he says.

My mouth drops. “I have over a quarter million?”

He nods his head, smiling. “Yeah. That’s pretty fucking crazy considering it all came from… you know.”

I jump up and start laughing. “Holy shit! I can’t believe that. And I’ve spend a decent amount! I’ve spend probably a solid $60,000 over the last few years since I started doing this… on whatever bills, clothes, makeup, small trips. I wonder how much Madison has?”

“Probably close to the same,” he says.

I start pacing. “I feel like I wanna celebrate! I can’t wait to talk to Madison tomorrow.”

He stands and goes into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of champagne and 2 glasses. “Here’s let’s have a drink. What did Madison have to say about all this?”

“All what?” I ask, walk over and taking a glass from him.

He grabs a rag pops the bottle open, and pours some in our glasses.

“About all this,” he says. “Like… what we talked about that first night.”

“I actually didn’t tell her.”

He looks at me, raising an eyebrow. “Why not?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know how she’ll feel about it. I just told her the watch was fake and that’s why I left with nothing. I felt bad for lying but I wasn’t sure I even wanted to do this. I didn’t want the pressure of her decision being added. I know that’s selfish but… I don’t know. This is serious shit.”

He nods. “I understand that.”

I sigh. “So what next?”

He takes a sip. “We can set the plan in motion if you’re ready.”

“We just take the cash and go to China? How do we get the cash over there? Surely I can’t just hop on a plane with it, no questions asked.”

He shakes his head. “It won’t be cash. You’d give it to me, I’ll launder the actual cash later to replace it from my account. And I’ll wire funds from my account to something called a junket. A junket is basically like a company that, on paper, gives you an all expense paid vacation. It includes the flight, hotel, and gambling chips. Once the money is wired to them, you go there, use your chips to gamble a few small games, and cash out, claiming what’s left as your legal earnings.”

“Okay,” I say, taking a sip of my drink.

“But I’ll pay for the flight and the hotel, don’t worry about that coming from your money.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I say, shaking my head.

“It’s no big deal, trust me. Your money will only buy the chips.”

“No, I want to pay for it myself.”

“Y/n, just let me pay for it. I’ve got the money.”

“So do I,” I say taking another sip.

He stares at me for a moment. “Are you gonna fight me on this?”

“Yes.”

“Why won’t you let me pay?”

“Because I have the money. I guess you can pay for your own stuff but I want to pay for my own stuff.”

He scoffs. “Well whatever, I guess.”

I smile. “I just don’t like owing anything to anyone.”

He rolls his eyes. “You wouldn’t owe me anything! That’s why I said it’s no big deal.”

“Still, I want to use my own.”

He furrows his brows. “And I want to help you.”

I sit my drink down and cross my arms. “I can do it myself. It’s the principal of it. Final decision.”

He shakes his head. “Fine! Miss independent.”

I wink and pick my glass back up, taking another drink. I look at him for a moment then purse my lips.

“What?” He asks, seeing my expression.

I worry about giving him my money. I do trust him, but at the same time, how can I know for sure his intentions? I’m just getting to know him.

“How am I supposed to trust you, though? How do I know you won’t snag my money and kill me or something.”

He looks at me for a moment then laughs. “Well, for starters you’re sitting alone in my condo with me and stacks of your cash. If I was gonna take your money, I would have already done it.”

I giggle. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Secondly, I’m a little scared of you if I’m honest,” he chuckles. “I’d definitely have to kill you, I don’t think you’d just let me take it. And -“

“You’d definitely have to kill me.”

He laughs. “Yeah. And I like you a lot. I don’t wanna kill you. A quarter million is a decent amount but certainly not worth killing you for.”

“You wouldn’t kill me for a quarter million dollars? Awww.” I bat my lashes at him

“Probably not even a million,” he smiles.

“Probably?”

He smirks. “Maybe.”

I laugh. “Alright, I’m not gonna press my luck.”

He walks over and kisses my forehead. “I’m just kidding. Definitely not even a million.”

I look up at him. “10 million?”

“Nope.”

“100 million?”

He shakes his head. “Nah.”

“A billion?”

“What would I even do with a billion dollars? You’re way more fun than a billion dollars ever would be.”

I laugh. “Alright, you’re full of shit.”

“Money is money, and after a certain point it becomes a burden more than a luxury. I‘d pick you over a billion dollars any day.”

A grin spreads across my face.

We finish our drinks then go back into his room. The sun is barely starting to rise now, so he closes the curtains to the windows and balcony in his room and we go to sleep.

A few hours later we wake up to a loud knock on the front door.

Vinnie groans and rolls over, rubbing his forehead. “God…”

“Who’s that?” I ask with a groggy voice.

“I have no idea. Stay here,” he says.

He gets up and walks out to the living room, shutting his bedroom door behind him.

—

Vinnie’s POV

I look through the peephole in the door and see Rocky.

I sigh and open it. “Yeah?”

“I’m so sorry to brother you at home, sir. I tried calling but couldn’t get a hold of you,” he says.

“It’s fine, come in,” I say, leading him to the kitchen. “I must have silenced my phone last night and forgotten about it. I have company, so keep it down. What’s going on?”

“Did you go to see James last night?” He asks quietly.

“Yeah, I did. Did something happen?”

“He ransacked the whole store, took the money from the register, and left. Disappeared for hours, leaving the place wide open. A customer came in and saw and called the cops and they came to investigate.”

My mouth drops. “Are you fucking serious?”

��Yeah, it could have been bad. All the bank info and half of our arsenal of weapons is in that basement. Luckily the bastard locked the basement door before he left and they couldn’t get down there but it was a close call.”

I take a deep breath. I should have just fucking killed him last night. “Did you guys find him?”

“Yeah, we have him at the warehouse. I don’t know what you want to do to deal with him, but… something probably needs done.”

I nod my head. “Yeah. Well, let’s go. Let me go tell my girl I’ll be back.”

“Your girl?” He asks confused. “Since when do you date? No offense but I figured you’d be single forever.”

I shrug and smile a little bit. “Well she’s not officially with me yet but… I don’t know. She just caught my attention. I’ll be right back.”

He nods and I walk back to my bedroom. Y/n is laying in the same position she was in when I left the room.

I walk over and kiss her forehead. “I’ve gotta go do something real fast. It shouldn’t take long, stay here. If I’m not back by the time you get up, feel free to make breakfast or whatever you want,” I say softly in her ear.

She smiles and nods, closing her eyes again. I cover her the rest of the way with the blanket and shut the bedroom door behind me.

I slip my shoes on. “Let’s go,” I say.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

✨When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! Then, send to the last ten people in your notifications anonymously. You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity✨

Hey Nonny!

Ooof this got lost in a bunch of stuff! Sorry about missing it! Only remembered it because I saw a similar ask on my dash hahha.

Seems like a good day to do this, since I'm so tired and exhausted and I need something to make me smile.

Dragons. Just everything and anything with dragons. I'm fascinated with them. If you buy or make me anything with dragons, I automatically love you.

I finally bought myself my iPad I've been saving up for for *literally* 3 years. Because I was saving up for a trip this year that I am no longer taking (was planning a 40th birthday trip to Disney, but now am not going to Florida at all until they get their shit together), I took some of that money also to buy it and bought a top-of-the-line one, the best I could buy at the local Apple store (1TB, 12.9inch Pro... you don't want to know how much it was :|). I love it so much, and it's nice to use it to get off my laptop. I mostly was prompted to buy it now because it was my 40th birthday gift to myself AND my Wacom driver kept crashing my laptop and I'm scared to reinstall it hahah.

Funko Pops. I LOVE them and hate them. I only collect ones from series and shows I like, but I have WAY too many of them that most are in storage right now. I want to get my own home soon so I can display them finally. I am constantly checking the app for upcoming Funkos, and then immediately check my local toy store for their preorders. My local toy store must love me, I have SO much on preorder right now.

Drawing and writing. I'm alright at both, but I've terrible imposter syndrome so I feel like I'm not good at either, mainly because I don't get much traction on either when I post. I've a few people who always help me get it out, but I these days I do it for me, because it makes me happy.

Video Games. Currently playing AC Valhalla, and I LOVE it so much that I ended up buying the Season Pass. I RARELY buy DLC. But the game was SO good and I wanted more, so I needed to play the expansions. PERSONALLY it's my fave of the new trilogy, and because it's a "current" game, it's always got new stuff. Love it. My fave game EVER is Kingdom Hearts 2. I love the story of it so much. Skyrim is a close second – I like Skyrim because I put in over 200 hours in ALL versions I've played, and still there's so much I have to do hahah. AC New Trilogy is third. I liked DA Inquisition but never finished it, and I still have a bunch of games I bought last Christmas I have yet to play, so my list may change... it's highly unlikely though.

So there you have it Nonny! I think it's good I waited until I was in a better mood to answer this... People stopped sending me these because I was always so negative in them, I guess... I hope I get more of things like this when my asks go back on.

Can I also give you 5 things I'm looking forward to? I feel like that will help me keep a positive attitude for a bit.

My current work contract is almost done, and I'll get some downtime before I have to start my normal day-job again. Looking forward to my weekends back.

My broken foot seems to be healing REALLY quick. Yesterday was the first day I woke up without it hurting, and today I've been able to hobble around on my heel (as per my doctor's instructions that I need to start doing once my foot stopped hurting). I'm optimistic that I'll be given the okay to drive again during my next appointment on the 30th. I am going nuts not being able to leave home on my own accord.

So in Canada, we have this thing where you can take out your RSPs tax-free for three things: Retirement, First Time Home Ownership, and Second Education. I set up my RSPs WAY back when I was making piss-poor salary about 10 years ago, and I wanted to make sure that I at LEAST could have SOMETHING when I retired. I recently discovered I maxed out the amount of money I can take out for First Time Homeownership in my RSP, so my plans to home ownership are looking more and more realistic. I just wish owning a home wasn't so expensive where I live (major city in one of the most expensive provinces in Canada). It's hard when you're single-income. Here's hoping that I can make it a reality soon. The idea is a condo, I just have very expensive tastes (safe-neighbourhoods apparently justify a 10,000$+ more in cost :/) so I keep saving into my various accounts and GICs that I set up after I finally was making a liveable salary, so as long as I keep being humble and living below my means, I can finally get what I save up for... if only the cost of housing would SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. It's gone up 100K in just a year. It's insane.

I also saved up enough for a new couch thanks to a second contract I took during my CURRENT contract, which paid me exactly enough for the couch I want to get (I may or may not have strategically negotiated that contract, LOL). I've been needing a new couch for years; the one I currently have, I have sentimental attachment to (it was my dad's and is over 20 years old) but working at home for almost 2 years, I've worn it out and it's SO VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. It's barely staying together. Looking forward to getting it :) ... Was waiting until cooler months since I have to put it together myself (IKEA) and my apt is SO hot in the summer, no way I can do it then.

Having my asks turned back on. I'm sorry, it sounds so cheesy and dumb, but I don't have many RL friends or connections, and you guys help me stay positive and help keep my negative thoughts at bay. The dark thoughts have been coming in a lot lately, to the point where I've convinced myself that no one missed me and no one cares, so it's helped having a few of my regulars and mutuals check up on me in DMs during all this. Thank you <3 I don't always reply back, but your love is appreciated <3

Thank you again Nonny for asking me this <3 And I hope you don't mind I answered more than you asked <3

[badapricot]

Lovely Writer: Count 26, 27, & 28

These are the chapter summaries for Count 26, 27, & 28 which should be included in episode 10 and/or episode 11 of Lovely Writer. Keep in mind that the show is very different and they often cut, change, and move things around.

Count 26

Gene is sleeping in the car while Nubsib drives them home from their parent’s house. It’s raining outside.

Nubsib wakes up Gene because he said he wanted to buy snacks, and they go to Maxvalu.

They go back to the condo and Gene immediately plants himself in front of the TV with the snacks.

Nubsib pushes him to shower so Gene does very quickly before going back to the TV.

Nubsib showers with the door open and Gene watches TV. He sees a promo for Bad Engineer and remembers that the show is being aired soon, so he gets a clip on his phone and posts it on IG. Nubsib comes out when Gene is filming and asks Gene why he didn’t dry his hair well. Gene says it will dry on its own.

People in the comments on the clip point out that they can hear Nubsib saying Gene’s name.

Nubsib dries Gene’s hair.

They keep watching shows and Gene asks Nubsib if it’s awkward to watch his acting and Nubsib says that he has to make sure he’s performing well for his boyfriend, so it’s fine. He wants it so that Gene isn’t able to take his eyes off of him. Gene is surprised when he remembers that he’s the boyfriend.

The next day Gene goes to meet Hin at the cake shop near Nubsib’s university. He’s started basically living at Nubsib’s condo full time.

Hin tells him that Bua wants him to write a special NC chapter for his book.

Hin asks him if he’s going to a book event with Nubsib and Gene says that if he goes with him everyone will want his autograph. Hin asks him why he’s getting jealous of Nubsib like that.

Gene posts a picture of his cake online and forgets to text Nubsib back while he’s eating with Hin. When he puts his hand up to wave for the cheque, Nubsib grabs it. He was able to recognize where Gene was from his IG post and he walked over from the university.

Gene tells Nubsib to eat with him then and Nubsib says he won’t eat cake unless Gene feeds him. Gene says fine, it doesn’t matter since he paid anyway.

When they get home, Nubsib showers while Gene tries to find inspiration to write his NC chapter. He thinks getting the hardest thing (the sex scenes) out of the way first will make it easier.

Gene watches some anime but decides he wants something different and ends up reading a dark BL novel.

“‘Inside the twitching did not stop.’ Do you like r*pe roleplaying?”

“Shit!” I was so startled, my hands closed the book suddenly when the embarrassing conversation in it was read out.

Nubsib sat beside me, the corner of his mouth smiling. “Do you like this?”

“Like...like this?”

“This.” His fingers gently grabbed my wrist, as if deliberately teasing me. “Is my Gene a masochist?”

“No! I’m just reading and using the information for my writing.”

“A sex scene again?”

I felt a little embarrassed. “Well...you can see.”

Because I always sit and read scenes like this only, Nubsib knows that I have trouble with sex scenes.

“Can I help you?”

Again...we’re in a familiar situation.

I instantly shook my head. “No need, this time I don’t want any realism.”

Gene keeps reading and then retires to bed.

When he does, Nubsib abruptly kisses him and pulls him onto his lap. Gene asks Nubsib what he’s doing and Nubsib says he’s helping him write. 

Nubsib pushes Gene’s shirt up and tells him to hold his shirt up in his mouth. When Gene bites down on his shirt, Nubsib kisses his chest and asks Gene if he likes it, which Gene denies.

Nubsib asks Gene, “Do you like the novel you read earlier? Do you want me to tie you up like that?”

Nubsib holds Gene to him and fingers him before they start having sex. Nubsib eventually asks Gene to start moving himself, if it doesn’t hurt, and Gene starts shyly riding Nubsib.

Nubsib suddenly starts moving and puts Gene on his back. Gene says, “Nubsib...hold me,” and Nubsib holds Gene’s wrists over his head, and holds him. It’s embarrassing and Gene can’t even understand all the hoarse words Nubsib is saying in his ear, but he holds onto him.

While they’re coming down from their orgasm, Nubsib tells Gene, “Let’s take a shower later. One more round.”

Nubsib presses their foreheads together and Gene can’t say no. 

Count 27 (Nubsib POV)

Nubsib thinks back on the sex and how he accidentally made Gene cry. He actually wants Gene to cry more, to feel more, but he has to stop himself from instinctively doing anything violent.

Nubsib sees a red mark on Gene’s neck and touches it. He thinks that if Gene can’t let people know that the mark is his, then he’ll hold it all the time. Or hide it and Gene away, so they’re not seen by anyone.

The phone rings and Gene gently urges Nubsib to pick it up because he’s sleepy.

It’s Tum and he can tell he interrupted them because of Nubsib’s mood, so he quickly tells Nubsib the details about his summer photoshoot. Nubsib tells Tum that he wants to reserve another plane ticket and Tum figures that it’s for Gene and agrees.

When Nubsib hangs up, Gene asks him when he’s going. Nubsib tells Gene that he’s going on the trip too.

Gene says Nubsib has work though, and Nubsib says he isn’t working day and night. They can be together. Gene begrudgingly agrees but says he’s “too lazy to go out” even though Nubsib can see his eyes are shining and he’s very excited.

Gene tries to go swim when they arrive, but Nubsib tells him to wait until there’s more shade. Gene says he has sunscreen but Nubsib tells Gene that he finishes at five, and they can swim then. Gene grumbles but he’s obedient.

Because everyone knows who Nubsib is, Nubsib booked them two rooms and Gene moved his stuff in first. Nubsib will move his in later. They’ll share one room, while Tum takes the others. Nubsib thinks the whole ruse is really annoying.

Tum says he knows he was only invited as a cover for Gene (because they’re friends) but he’s thankful that Nubsib’s letting him stay in a luxury resort room for free. Nubsib tells him that if he’s really thankful he should carry Gene’s luggage.

Nubsib goes to his photoshoot while Tum takes care of Gene. Gene sends Nubsib pictures of a coconut and a crab and other random things he finds, and Nubsib is so happy that a homebody like Gene is so excited to be out.

When Nubsib arrives back, Gene asks if they can swim now and Nubsib says yes. Gene is very excited.

They go to the private beach at the hotel and it’s fine because the place is so luxurious it’s mostly populated by foreigners who don’t know Nubsib.

Nubsib stops Gene from going into the water in exchange for applying sunscreen to Gene’s arms, shoulders, and legs, which makes Gene shy. Nubsib tells Gene not to play in the sun for too long and tells him he’ll wait for him right there.

Gene plays for so long that Nubsib is sure he’ll sleep but he showers and they go out to a market.

Gene sees a tourist attraction for snorkeling and asks Nubsib if he wants to go, if he’s not busy, and Nubsib asks Gene why he’d want to do it alone.

Gene says Nubsib is working, so he thought he’d be too tired, and Nubsib says he’s used to fucking Gene and then waking up and going to university after. Gene tells Nubsib that if he keeps talking like that, he’ll stab him.

They go back to the hotel and lie in bed. Gene asks Nubsib to take a picture for his parents in the LINE group chat.

Gene tells Nubsib not to make a face that’s too handsome. He’s sick of Nubsib being complimented by his mother.

They take silly selfies together.

Count 28

Gene is home and looking through pictures of their trip. It’s been years since he travelled.

He’s thinking about picking up Nubsib from school to get cake to celebrate finishing his recent manuscript, when he gets a call from Tum. He’s concerned because Tum doesn’t video call him but only calls, and sounds really urgent.

He goes to meet Tum at the TV station and Nubsib is already sitting in the boss’s office.

He shows them pictures of Nubsib and Gene on their beach trip—they were seen in the night market. He goes on to show them Facebook posts and tweets with thousands of likes. Because of the SibGene pictures, people are shipping them a lot, and it’s bad for the series because they want them to ship SibAey.

Gene feels bad for causing trouble for the fans and for the network.

Gene sees some negative comments about how people are going to stop following Nubsib and that they now hate him because Nubsib is selfish, and didn’t think of the fan’s feelings, and those comments make him feel the worst.

Nubsib holds Gene’s hand and assures him that it’s not his fault which makes Gene feel worse.

The head of the TV station tells Nubsib that him and Gene need to stop interacting, stop going out, stop liking and commenting on each other’s social media etc. and Nubsib says it’s impossible to be separated from his boyfriend and his contract didn’t specify that.

The head tells him that it was implied because everyone knows that being a BL actor necessitates selling fanservice. Nubsib says that they can go ahead and rip up his contract then, because he never intended to act at all, or in another series after this. He only went to the casting for Gene. 

Nubsib is angry but calm and he shocks everyone. Tum and the boss remind Nubsib that he has ten months left on his contract and if he leaves now he’ll have to pay a penalty. Nubsib says he knows and he’s prepared to pay.

Gene can’t take it. He cuts off Nubsib and tells the boss that he’ll stay away from Nubsib until the end of his contract, and he won’t stop by him if Tum isn’t there.

The boss is pleased and says he’s glad Gene understands. He says the next day that Nubsib needs to come by the studio for a small press conference where he’ll amend the news about him dating Gene.

They leave, leaving Nubsib and Gene to talk alone.

Nubsib tells Gene that they’re forcing them to break up and he won’t have it.

“You’re a star so it has to be like this.”

I didn’t want to cause problems for Nubsib’s work.

I felt extremely bad, thinking about Nubsib agreeing to pay the penalty to cancel his contract.

“We have to be like this?” Nubsib, who had been quiet for so long, repeated my words. “Maybe other actors can secretly date their boyfriends while they let the Internet ship them with someone else, but I can’t do that.”

“...”

“You can say that I’m selfish. But I only accepted the job to act in this series because of you. If it causes us problems like this, then I don’t want to continue this work.”

“I didn’t...” I shook my head.

The words were stuck in my throat, and I was unable to speak.

“So what are you going to do?”

“As I said. After the series ends, I’ll break my contract.”

“No!” I immediately interrupted. His eyebrows furrowed tightly together. “You’ve worked for your own savings, and haven’t asked your parents for work all this time. There’s no need to stop because of me. Another thing...if you rip up the contract you’ll need to pay a penalty. And not a thousand baht, but a couple hundred thousand baht.”

“And you’re fine with our relationship being like that? Not letting anyone know that I’m dating you? Making others think that I’m not in a relationship with you?”

“...”

When I didn’t answer the question, Nubsib shook his head while staring at me. “You’re being like this again. If anyone has a problem and tells you to do something, you follow because you care about them. Why don’t you do that for me? Why don’t you miss me?”

“I just don’t want you to waste your money and lose work!”

“You still don’t understand? Even after the series ends, there’s still nothing in my contract that specifies I can’t have a boyfriend. Pictures can be posted online at anytime. The Internet isn’t that easily quieted.”

“...”

“The only way for them to be satisfied is if we really break up.”

“...”

I froze.

Break up...

Everything I was thinking up until that point became blocked by that work in my mind.

I didn’t know what conclusion we’d come to when we started talking. Nubsib and I disagreed. There were several solutions to the problem. But I didn’t think for a second that breaking up was a solution.

“You want to...break up?” My voice is so low, I can barely hear myself.

“...”

Gene wants to faint at Nubsib’s suggestion.

He goes upstairs and showers and then gets into bed. He hears Nubsib come in and stand over him, but he doesn’t speak. Gene pretends to be asleep.

Gene thinks that he doesn’t want to break up with Nubsib but he’s the older one so he needs to be responsible. He can’t cause trouble for Nubsib like this.

Gene comes out and Nubsib is sitting in the living room. Nubsib tells Gene that he was being selfish and immature earlier and Gene is relieved.

Nubsib tells Gene that if he wants him to listen to the boss, then he’ll do it for Gene. He goes on to tell Gene that since the fans know they live together, it’s probably best for Gene to go back to live in his condo for now.

Gene feels terrible.

[beauvibaby]

single mom – j.benn

a/n: this was a super random idea that just came to me, well really it was the grocery scene but it just clicked so

Your daughter, fast asleep on your lap, her head resting on your chest, you let the tears fall. You shifted her off of you and into her small bed, tucking her in before rushing out of the room, not wanting to wake her with your cries. You left her door cracked open, just how she had insisted she likes it, your mind racing back to the conversation you’d just had with her.

“I want daddy!” Jade shrieked at you, throwing her stuffed animal–from her father when she was first born–down onto the ground in protest. You looked at the three year old in warning, “Jade, honey, it’s time for bed.” You tried to push past the subject, you knew it was the wrong thing to do, but you had a long, exhausting day at work and you didn’t have the patience to have the conversation with her again that her father wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon. He seemingly decided that she was suddenly too much for him, leaving her at your fathers house with a letter for you and then disappearing entirely. You knew, when she was born, it would only be a matter of time until he abandoned her, already blaming you for getting pregnant. “I don’t want you! I want daddy.” She snapped, not only shattering your heart, but also making you grow frustrated. “You don’t say things like that, it’s mean, you hurt my feelings.” You told her as calmly as you could muster, she huffed, but didn’t say anything as you continued pulling out her clothes for school tomorrow. “Mommy, I’m sorry.” She whispered after a moment, clinging to your legs, you nodded down at her, not trusting your voice for a moment.

You trudged to your room, finally being able to remove those constricting work clothes. An office job, which you hated, but it was the only thing that worked with the hours you needed for Jade. You cried yourself to sleep that night.

***

“How much longer mommy?” Jade complained from her spot standing on the side of the cart, “we just need your snacks and then some cereal.” You assured the fussy girl, knowing she hated going grocery shopping with you. “Do you want fruit snacks or–Jade?!” You had only turned for a few seconds, to see what they had on the shelves, but now she was gone. “Jade!” You called, eyes darting around the aisle, you yanked your purse out of the cart, abandoning it in a panic of searching for your daughter. You ran up and down the aisles, trying to figure out where she could have gone. Cereal, the cereal, you turned around and all but ran to the other side of the store, praying and hoping that somehow she had found her way there. Your prayers were answered as you rounded the corner and you saw Jade standing beside a fairly tall man, “Jade!” You gasped, running over to her, yanking her up into your arms quickly. “You can’t do that, you can’t just walk away from me like that!” You rushed, not even noticing the guy standing there holding the exact box of cereal you were going to be buying. “I’m sorry, mommy.” Jade looked at you with wide eyes, never seeing you like this, because she’s never pulled a stunt like this.

“Umm, excuse me?” The man spoke up, making you turn towards him, Jade still being in your arms, “yes?” You answered him, trying to calm your racing heart. “I believe she was looking for this.” He held out the box of cereal, shaking it lightly, Jade smiling at him with her biggest smile. “Mr Jamie got it.” She told you, looking proud of herself for having help in getting the cereal off the top shelf. You let out a soft breathy laugh, “thank you, Uh, Jamie, I guess.” You spoke lightly, “anytime…” he trailed off, not knowing your name. “Y/N.” You called over your shoulder, beginning the trek to where your cart was hopefully still left.

Once you’d gotten back to your cart, you put Jade in it this time, despite her protests, “no, you did the one thing you’re not supposed to do.” You told her, not giving into her pout, she huffed and dramatically crossed her arms, not speaking to you for the remainder of the time in the store. She only spoke when you buckled her into her car seat, before loading the groceries into the trunk. “Can you play frozen?” She asked sleepily, you nodded at her tired face, turning the car on and playing the frozen soundtrack off of your phone, her eyes shutting as she hummed along to let it go, falling asleep nearly instantly. You glanced up at the sound of someone walking past, Jamie, of course, he didn’t notice you as he walked, but that was short lived as he walked up to the truck parked next to your car. You stayed silent, only smiling when you felt him looking over at you, “it’s not really polite to stare you know.” You quipped, shutting your trunk lightly, not wanting to wake Jade. “I wasn’t staring.” He defended, smirking softly, leaning against the side of his truck, his small amount of groceries already packed away. “Mhm, thank you for the cereal by the way, I’m sorry she bothered you.” You responded genuinely, realizing you were too worked up in the store to thank him. “It wasn’t a bother, she’s adorable.” He assured you, smiling as you glanced into the car at her. “She is.” You agreed, finding yourself wishing you had more conversation to have with Jamie.

“Have a nice day, Jamie.” You bid him goodbye, shoving your cart into the designated spot, “you too, Y/N.” He responded, eyes lingering as you got into your car.

***

Jamie watched as Tyler looked at him with a shocked expression, “you met a girl?” Tyler gaped at him, the two of them talking while getting ready for the game, “no, well yes, but no.” Jamie stumbled over his words, not even entirely sure what to say. “It’s a simple question, yes or no?” Tyler smirked, halting his process to give Jamie his full attention. “Ugh, ok I was at the store, and this little girl came up to me, asking if I could get her this cereal, then her mom came running around the corner looking for her.” Jamie explained, “they were both so sweet, and her mom, she was just stunning.” Jamie added, feeling his cheeks turn pink. “Did you get her number?” Tyler asked, as if it was so simple. “No! I don’t know if she’s got a boyfriend or anything, I can’t just assume she’s a single mom.” He rushed, making up excuses, “she was younger than me for sure too.” He added, as if that would be reason enough to not have an interest in you. “Oh come on, who cares if she’s younger, if you see her again, by some miracle, you have to make a move.” Tyler insisted, and they left the conversation at that.

“Dad, are you sure she’s not too young?” You asked for the hundredth time, adjusting your daughters loose jersey, he had become your go to babysitter, and he insisted on taking you and Jade to a hockey game, saying that she would watch them on tv when she was with him. “She’s not too young, she’s going to have a blast!” He laughed at your concern, taking her from you, he had gifted you both with plain, non player jerseys for the team, your father wasn’t loaded by any means, but he had worked hard in his life, and now that your mother had passed and it was just him, he sold the house and got a small condo, using the extra money to buy himself tickets to see his favorite team. “Alright, alright, let’s go.” You gave in, following him into the arena.

The seats were better than you had thought they would be, and you couldn’t deny how it made you a little extra excited. “Go down to the glass, see if you can get her a puck.” Your dad insisted, sending Jade with you, once you reached the boards, you lifted her up to be on your hip, they were doing warm ups, some of the players not bothering with helmets, one in particular caught your eye. He’d skated by so fast, but something about him looked vaguely familiar, you couldn’t place your finger on it, but you pushed it to the back of your mind as you told Jade to wave at them, hoping one of them would be kind enough to send a puck over for her. A few of them went by without even noticing you guys, then the familiar one came to a stop, ice flying up, making Jade giggle, she shocked you by knocking on the glass, causing him to turn around. You went wide eyed, and so did he. You watched as he held up a finger in a hang on motion, Jade laughed, watching him skate quickly across the ice, doing something quickly behind the bench. He rushed back over, making sure to send some ice up again for Jade as she grinned, he pointed to her through the glass and tossed a puck up in the air, you caught it and gave it to her. Then he pointed at you, tossing another puck over, except this one had writing scribbled on it.

“Can I have your number?”

You read it with a blush, looking up to see him shifting his weight back and forth on his skates, you nodded, sending Jade to your dad who was standing in the aisle watching, she rushed over to him, excited to show him the puck. Jamie tossed a silver sharpie over to you, a grin etched onto his face, you motioned to the puck, and he nodded. You wrote the number down, sending the sharpie and then the puck back over for him, giving him a short wave as he skated back to the bench, a few of the guys nudging his shoulders. Your dad was watching skeptically, “I’ve been told that you know, Mr Jamie.” He quoted your daughter, smiling fondly when you turned pink. “We met in the grocery store.” You went on to tell him the story until the game started, all three of you getting sucked in to the sport as it went on.

Once your dad had dropped you and Jade off at your home, you were exhausted, and carrying her up the stairs to your apartment was only more tiring as the elevator was currently out of service. Jade didn’t make a peep as you laid her down in bed, a smile on her sleeping face, you kissed her forehead lightly, “sweet dreams, baby girl.” You whispered.

Your phone vibrated on your nightstand as you got ready for bed, an unknown number on the screen.

“I’m glad Jade liked the puck, you could definitely pay me back by going on a date with me.”

It was a bold move on his part, but you didn’t mind one bit. You read the message three times before coming up with your response,

“Wouldn’t I just owe you more after you pay for me?”

Your smile widened as the three dots came up right away, you couldn’t help but bite your bottom lip in anticipation.

“I have a feeling that time with you will be priceless.”

If you weren’t already daydreaming about him, you definitely would be now.

***

“Are you sure?” You asked your dad for the third time since he got here, Jade happily eating her dinner while you two talked just out of her earshot, “I’m sure, you deserve to go out and have some fun.” He assured you, “she’ll be fine, worse comes to worse, you can say you had dinner with Jamie Benn.” Your dad added, smirking at the end. You lightly whacked his shoulder, “thanks for having faith in my ability to have a good date.” You joked, earning a deep laughter from your dad. “You’ll be fine, honey, now say goodbye to Jade and get going!” He pushed you towards your daughter, smiling as she looked up at you with a messy smile. “Where did you learn to eat?” You teased her, squatting beside her, wiping her face with a napkin, “kiss.” You demanded with a laugh, grinning as she pecked your cheek. “I love you.” You told her, getting a muffled one in response as she continued munching away on her food. “Promise you’ll call me for anything.” You pleaded with your dad as he pushed you out the door, “yes, I promise, have fun.” He shut the door before you could continue, giving you no option but to head out for your date, your nerves growing with every minute closer you got.

“Y/N!” You heard from across the parking lot, your head snapping up as you slid your purse onto your shoulder, “hey, Jamie.” You called as he approached, a smile etched onto his face. “You look great.” He grinned, looking over the dress you’d chosen, a casual dress, nearly maxi length with a light floral print. A Jean jacket over top. “Thank you.” You closed your car door as you spoke, “you look great too.” You complimented him, smiling as he offered his hand as you stepped up the curb. He shot you a toothy smile in response, opening the door to the restaurant, a cliche first date, but the effort he put in was very much appreciated. You couldn’t say in full honesty that you’d ever been taken on such a proper date, Jade’s father had really been your first true relationship, and it wasn’t the best at times. Or ever, really. “Two please.” Jamie spoke to the hostess, you had zoned out slightly, taking in the slightly eclectic look of the restaurant. Jamie pulled your seat out for you, only making you blush more. “Thank you.” You whispered as he took his seat across from you, “of course.” He smiled, picking his menu up, peering over it at you as you both browsed silently. You shifted a little nervously as you looked at some of the prices, Jamie glanced up at you, unsure if he should ask if you were alright. “So, what’s good here?” You asked, breaking the silence, he let out a laugh, setting the menu down. “Can I be honest?” He raised an eyebrow at you, your head falling into a cautious nod, “I’ve never been here before, some of the guys said I should take you here.” He looked a bit pink in his cheeks, you bit your lip to stifle back a laugh, “you know, Jamie, I’m perfectly fine with more of the typical burger and fries type of place.” You giggled, watching his smile falter, before it widened again, “let’s go.” He abruptly stood up, his chair making a noise in the quiet restaurant. He rushed you out the door, laughing the entire time as you looked at him in shock.

“We could’ve eaten here, I wasn’t trying to be–“ “Y/N, just live a little, I’d much rather go get a burger than whatever was on that menu.” He cut you off with a grin, “well,” you paused, fishing your keys out of your purse, “I do know a great little hole in the wall place a few blocks away.” You grinned at him, watching as he matched your look. “Shall we?” “We shall.”

“Thank you, Jamie, I had a great time.” You smiled up at him as you stood between your cars, he reciprocated the gesture, “so did I.” He mumbled, “we should do it again sometime.” He added, watching as you nodded slowly, easing his nerves significantly, “I’d like that, a lot.” You trailed off, meeting his eyes, you could tell that he saw the concern on your face. You hadn’t done this yet, since Jade, and now you weren’t sure how it would work. How long did you date before you introduced him as something other than just Jamie? What if you never made it that far? What– “Can I kiss you?” Jamie interrupted, chuckling when your jaw dropped for a moment, not expecting him to be so abrupt. You barely finished whispering a yes before his lips were on yours, his hands on either side of your face, you melted into them, your hands resting on his sides as you kissed him back. He let out a sigh of content as you pulled away, “yeah, we’re definitely going to have to do this again.” You mumbled, laughing along with him as he was caught off guard by your comment.

***

That was three months ago, somehow the two of you had been making it work in the middle of his busiest time of year, Christmas had just passed, and it was finally time to introduce him to Jade, properly, as your boyfriend, not just as the guy you’d met in the grocery store. “Where are we going?” Jade asked, holding your hand tightly as you walked with her through the tunnels that you quickly learned to maneuver, Jamie having you come to a couple of games so far, and insisting you come down afterwards. “You’ll see.” You assured her with a giggle, she bounced happily beside you, eyes going wide as she saw Jamie leaning against the wall, she’d seen him a couple of times, but totally oblivious to what was happening between the two of you.

“Jamie!” She shrieked, releasing your hand and running over to him, he easily squatted in front of her, smiling as she gave him a little hug. “Hey, Jade.” He murmured, glancing up at you as she began rambling about her day. “I like your shirt.” He told her when she finished, and she looked down to the stars jersey you’d slipped her in to, the same plain one your dad had gotten her, you on the other hand, had on your Benn jersey. Something Jamie had insisted on the second you two decided this was a serious committed relationship. “It’s just like the one you wear!” She told him, as if he didn’t already know. “Wow, that’s crazy.” He gasped, looking at it closely, as if it was new information, she laughed girlishly at him. “Jade?” You questioned, kneeling beside Jamie, suddenly terrified that your three year old would shame your relationship. “Jamie and I are dating, so you know what that means?” You asked her, Jamie glancing between the two of you. Jade tilted her head to the side, “that means you love him.” She answered, as if that was the correct answer, you smiled at your daughter, glancing over to Jamie, you hadn’t said it to him yet, but you were certain that you were in love with him. He stayed silent, but the grin on his face told you everything you needed. “Does that mean we’ll live together? Like you and daddy used too?” Jade gasped, suddenly excited at the idea. This time you were the one who stared and Jamie spoke, easing any nerves you had, “hopefully one day.” He assured her.

Jade was watching a quick video on your phone while you spoke to Jamie before the game, “I think that went well.” He shrugged, not really as concerned as you had been. “It did.” You sighed, hugging him quickly, knowing he had to get going, “Jamie.” You got his attention, cupping his jaw and leaning up to kiss him. “I love you.” You whispered, slowly stepping away from him, “I love you.” He grinned, “gonna play great now that I know that.” He shot you a wink, before going on to score two goals that night, one of them being the game winner.

Taglist: @vinceduhn​ @makarsy​ @kempe​ @literarycharleton​ @josty​ @mrs-ana-wayne​ @kiedhara​

[hopelessly-me]

I wish you would write a fic where Clint is extremely competent in a surprising skill (and seduces [your choice] in spite of it, because of it, or with it).

Hi anon! =) This skill may not be overly surprising, at least it wasn’t to me, but it was to Bucky. I hope you enjoy. (word count 1472)

In his defense, Bucky did not purposely break things in his home- he had just bought a rundown condo that needed a lot of repairs that he kinda knew about when he bought it but hadn’t thought much of it because he had gone with the idea that maybe it wouldn’t happen right away. He had been wrong. So very wrong. Ever since he bought the space, it seemed like every week something was happening and Bucky just- he didn’t have the energy to deal with it. Hydra never deemed home repairs to be a necessary skill for their assassin, so Bucky hadn’t even learned the basics, but he was trying.

But… the try part took a back seat the first time Steve had suggested that he call Clint. Bucky grumbled about it- he was used to watching Clint do all sorts of things the wrong way. When you work with a guy that leaps out of buildings like it’s a fun game to chance, you kind of assume that person’s an idiot. A skilled idiot, sure, but an idiot. And how many times had Bucky watched Clint fumble his way through competency testing at SHIELD? Or the time he got smacked in the face, not once, but twice, by a robot he was supposed to be dodging? Bucky hadn’t bought the lack of caffeine mumbling, and blamed it on the fact that Clint Barton was 100% a disaster.

But Steve swore Clint was the guy to call for help so he did. It was better to have someone he knew in his space instead of calling and asking for the name of a repair man so he could do a background check two weeks deep before his dishwasher could be fixed. Within an hour Clint had shown up at Bucky’s condo, carrying a duffle bag with him. After a short greeting, Clint went to the kitchen and went to work. 

And honestly- it was something. That extreme focus he got on missions was the same as when he worked on anything. Dishwasher, ceiling fan, the bathroom when the plumbing seemed to be a problem. Anything Bucky called him about, Clint seemed to know exactly what he was doing. If it was an easier fix, Bucky and Clint would chat about whatever came up, and usually Clint was the one who started it. If it was harder, Bucky stood off to the side in case he needed help with something but otherwise he watched him work and wonder just how Clint got good at all of this.

But this? This was almost too much. Bucky was seated and watching Clint as he worked on the electrical in the laundry room. He had started by checking the obvious things first, the plug, the outlet, the cords in the room. With a sigh he asked if he could take down the wall because he was positive that it was something in the back, likely a short wire. Without any reluctance, Bucky agreed, and Clint went to work. Now he was standing on a step ladder, working on something above his head, his shirt riding up, or his pants riding low, Bucky couldn’t tell and he didn’t care. All he cared about was the fact that Clint’s arms were in motion, which had always been hypnotizing enough, but now he got to see abs and he wasn’t sure he was going to make it through this session.

“You should let me just tear this place apart and start new,” Clint commented.

“What?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah. I mean. You can afford it, we both know it,” Clint answered, shoving some line through a hole he had made to where the breaker was, a new wire he had to attach him. “This place is really outdated with the electrical and the plumbing. Nothing that will start a fire yet but… I know how to do the fixes this place needs. I can run it cheaper than other renovators. And what I don’t know I can figure out with some books and youtube videos. I mean, it’s how I learned most of this stuff anyway.”

“How… long would something like that take?” Bucky asked, because if that meant more time with Clint like this he was pretty sure he was ready to sign up.

Clint looked over and flashed him one of his bright and snarky smiles. “Tired of hanging out with me already?” he asked, teasing before he looked back at his work.

“No. But if you do all that work, I’m going to have to pay you,” Bucky pointed out.

“Uh- no? I mean, I can’t always be here working on it, but I can plan on doing the hard stuff for a few days in a row that way if I have to leave for a mission you have a mostly functional space, just a little torn up.” Clint stepped down from the ladder and walked over to his tool bag, digging through it before pulling out a tag and a pen, writing on it. “But you don’t have to pay me.”

“What about… in pizza and coffee?” 

Clint looked up from the tag and grinned. “The way into my heart,” he replied before he turned and climbed back onto the ladder, back to his abs showing and yeah, it was definitely the shirt riding up Bucky decided. “Just think about it, alright? It would take me a couple of weeks, but I can get this place in tiptop shape so you aren’t having one emergency after another.”

“Maybe I like having the emergencies,” Bucky said before he could give it much thought. 

The moment the words processed in his head, alarms started to sound. It was toeing the line of flirting, or maybe possibly suggesting that he liked having Clint around, and maybe more. Clint wasn’t exactly stupid, he could see through Bucky’s game right? But he was also oblivious, so maybe he hadn’t.

This time, Clint paused and looked over questioningly. Bucky put on his confident smile, the one he had learned back when he was a kid, back when he knew he could fake his confidence with the right look. The problem was- Clint had that annoying ability to read people and see through the masks. The problem was, Bucky was sure Clint could see through this one.

And then he smiled that bright smile, and chuckled before he looked back at his work, muttering something inaudible under his breath. Whether he saw through it or not was lost on Bucky now since Clint hadn’t made a comment. But something was there in that look, Bucky could swear he saw… was it hope? Shyness? A bit of awkwardness? Maybe it was Bucky putting his feelings into the situation, but he thought maybe it was a dare- almost begging him to say something more.

Bucky was frozen for a moment, watching as Clint hopped off the ladder and moved to where the electrical outlet was, whistling as he worked. He watched the way his body swayed a little to whatever song it was being whistled into existence, and wanted to move closer to watch as his fingers worked carefully at securing the wire in it’s spot. He wanted to know if he was right that Clint was just daring him to take it a step further while being terrified to learn the results.

“Fuck it,” Bucky said as he got up.

“Fuck what?” Clint asked innocently.

Bucky had taken a few steps by the time Clint had turned around. Bucky got into his space, bracing his hands on the wall on either side of Clint, and kissed him, surprised when it was reciprocated. But it was short lived before Clint leaned away, raising an eyebrow, his lips pulling up into a smile that he would get before he would start laughing.

“What?” Bucky asked.

“Screw.”

“What?”

“I made a funny joke in my head about being screwed,” Clint said, holding up his screwdriver. “And then I dropped the screw for the outlet panel and I can’t-”

“... you are fucking kidding, right?” Clint let out that laugh and shook his head, his whole face lighting up as it scrunched. For a moment, Bucky thought about punching him. But that joy on Clint’s face made the thought fizzle out and he couldn’t help but feel fondly exasperated. “You’re the worst,” he said, unable to hold back his smile when Clint’s eyes opened and locked onto his.

“I am,” Clint confirmed. “We can maybe try it again after you buy me pizza?”

Bucky nodded slowly. “Maybe after pizza,” he agreed. “And you grab that screw.”

“That’s after the third date,” Clint replied with a wink, laughing even louder than before when Bucky’s face heated up. “You are so going to regret you kissed me.”

“Challenge accepted.”

[gallavichthings]

This week’s writer is someone who has recently returned to the fandom, much for our immense joy - Cat, aka @bellafarella​! You may know her as the author of classics such as We've Come A Long Way From Where We Began, He's The Man, The Good Life and A lover but the fighter still remains, among many, many others. Enjoy!

P.S.: there’s a surprise picture after the cut. :)

GT: Tell us a bit about yourself

C: I'm almost 29. I work in a hospital in Canada. I'm a Cancer, so I'm very intuned with my emotions and feelings, and those of others. I love spending time with friends and family. My dog is my baby hehehe.

Idk what else to add lol

GT: Hahah, that's good enough 

But please do tell me about your dog

C: Omg he's the sweetest boy in the world. His name is Tyson, he's gonna be 8 in August. We adopted him when he was 8 months old. He's mostly all black but he's white where he can get dirty so his bum, his paws, and he has white eyebrows hehehe. He's anxious, doesn't like car rides, or going up/down certain stairs, like he won't use the stairs that go down to the basement lol no clue where he got that anxiety from lol. He likes to cuddle but don't touch him or else he'll fuck off lol. He spends most of the day sitting on his pillow up at the window in the living room, watching, barking, sleeping. He doesn't bite, and he loves you when he gets to know you.

GT: He looks like a toy, he's so cute

C: Thank you, he's my angel. He also has an Instagram 😅 @/tysonseyebrows 😆

GT: Oh my god, I love that!

Tell me about your username, where did bellafarella come from?

C: Not anything special honestly, Farella is my last name and Bella rhymed so I went with that hahaha I first made the username for my Instagram back in 2012 then made my Twitter (it’s suspended now) and in 2013ish I made my tumblr with it too then ao3, figured it would be easiest to use the same one for all platforms.

GT: Was that also when you first started watching Shameless?

C: I started watching Shameless sometime right after s1 aired! I was at my uncle's house one Sunday night for dinner and he went down to the basement to watch his show and we went down to see what and it was shameless hahaha. I asked about it and he told me about it and well now it's been 10 years, but sometime after that I started watching from the beginning and have been watching live every season after that. I only joined the fandom in 2014 on here and stuck around until s6 was airing so around 2016. I left the fandom up until s10 started so 2019ish but just slowly rejoining lol

But I never once stopped watching the show!

GT: You're brave, I did! lol

What did you think of the ending?

C: It was underwhelming to say the least. I did like Ian and Mickeys ending because it ended with them happy and in love, celebrating their marriage with their family and we know there's the potential for kids and that they are doing well financially and in their new home, so I can't complain hahaha

GT: How do you see them in the future?

C: I definitely see them with a kid but I think they wait at least five years. I imagine Mickey saying it's not their time yet and to just enjoy being uncles to all the young kids (Franny, Fred, and Lip/Tami's new baby otw). Ian agrees and doesn't want to force mickey when he isn't ready. They do eventually feel ready enough to adopt, possibly one of Mickey's cousins' new kids. I imagine them doing well with their business and getting that expansion they talked about. I also imagine them getting a dog soon like maybe within the year and that dog becomes obsessed with their baby a few years later, always protecting her. I see them staying in that condo until they decide to adopt so they buy a house with money they now have from their business. I see a very loving and fulfilling life for them going forward.

GT: I love that vision! 

Tell me about your experience with fanfiction, when did you start reading it and when did you decide to write it too?

C: Once I joined the fandom for Shameless is when I started to see fanfic. Never really heard much about it before or ever really felt the need to know lol, but once I joined the fandom I saw people posting fics so I started reading a bit and almost instantly decided to try writing it too. I wrote a tiny one shot, a couple hundred words, and the title was "No Title". It was a filler scene for one of the s4 episodes.

Once I started reading more, I got more comfortable writing and coming up with my own ideas and it just took off from there. I wrote about 140 fics by the time I left the fandom in 2016. I stopped writing and reading for about 3 years then when I rejoined in 2019 I started writing again. Just like my very first time, when I rejoined, I started with a one shot for a s10 episode, a filler scene for the episode where Sandy calls Ian/Mickey domestic bitches hahahah. I absolutely love writing and fan fic showed me that all those years ago. Life got in the way and mickey not being in the show made it hard for me to participate in fandom life which includes fan fic. I'm so glad I found it though because there are so many amazing fics out there.

Also, during my hiatus, I did join the Schitt's Creek fandom and started writing fics for there too. I have now written 156 Shameless fics, and 97 Schitt’s Creek fics.

What I love about fan fiction is that even if you're favorite characters are gone because the show ended, doesn't mean they are gone because amazing fans write incredibly different stories for them in any universe, so they're always there with you in some way

GT: You're such a prolific writer! Where does the inspiration come from?

C: The characters. I just start imaging them in different scenarios. From other media too like other TV shows or movies and just inserting them into that. Also, prompts. People have sent me some great ideas. And prompts I find online that just scream at me that my otp would fit into.

GT: What attracts you to Ian and Mickey's relationship?

C: The way they so fiercely love each other. They're every great trope there is. They fit together in every universe. They are definitely each other's soul mate. They've both been through hell but they've made it out, together and stronger than ever. They didn't have an easy road but that's what makes you root for them. You can see their chemistry and how much they want to be together, how much they love to love each other. There isn't anything they wouldn't do to protect the other and that's just such a beautiful love story.

GT: It absolutely is.

What's the most fun thing about writing them for you?

C: Giving them a new journey if it's an AU. And if it's a continuation of canon, just being able to continue their story. I miss them since the show ended and fics keeps them "alive" lol.

GT: It sure does.

What's difficult about writing them?

C: Keeping their voices the same even if it's an AU, I never know if I'm doing a good job with that hahaha but yeah, idk there's not much difficult I find, it's just sometimes me having writer's block and not knowing where I'm going with it, or just not being motivated that makes fic writing difficult imo

GT: Do you plan your fics before writing them?

C: I didn't used to but I do now with some of them. Now especially because I like to stay ahead so that I could keep a regular posting schedule if it's a multi chapter fic. But if it's just a one shot or a prompt then I don't plan them out, I'll just write when I have the motivation and inspiration to.

GT: And do you do any research?

C: Yes, I definitely do research for a fic if it's an AU and want to be accurate. Like for a fic series I'm working on now it's about football quarterback Ian so I'm searching up football stuff like crazy hahaha.

GT: What kind of fics do you write the most?

C: Mostly canon compliant. Writing the reality we already know for them but different moments in time like maybe them but in five years, or filler scenes for things we've seen, etc. I do really like writing AUs too. Not big on anything supernatural though so my AUs gear more towards like them meeting in school (high school or college), them being roommates, childhood friends to lovers, workplace romance, things like that. I have done a soulmate AU which was sweet.

GT: Do you have a preference for writing one of them?

C: Honestly, not really. I like exploring different versions of them and different worlds. It makes it fun.

GT: What about other characters on the show, which are your favorite? Do you like to include them in your fics?

C: I definitely like to add them in if the story calls for them! I definitely like writing Mandy and Lip into my fics, having them be there for them. Mandy in canon, we know isn't always there for Mickey but she is in her own way, it's fun to write her being his #1 supporter, and her telling them both they’re idiots for whatever reason lol. And newly, I really like writing Franny and uncle Mickey moments because I wish we got more of it on the show, we just know he's her favorite uncle (and uncle Ian).

GT: Franny is so cute!

What about OCs, do you include them too?

C: Oh definitely! Writing OCs is fun because I don't have to give them too much attention either, I know the story isn't about them so I'm able to create them to best suit Ian and Mickey and the universe I've created for them. Whereas if I ever tried writing my own story, I'd struggle to create OCs.

GT: Do you base your OCs in real people?

C: Sometimes little details like once I wrote someone with my same hair, or a best friend's name, nothing really more than that. Sometimes it's just different versions of other TV characters.

GT: Have you ever written an actual crossover, with characters from multiple shows?

C: I have, well, sort of. I wrote a fic about mickey as an MMA fighter and loosely based it off the TV show Kingdom. I included some of the same characters from that show into the fic.

GT: I'm surprised you haven't written a Shameless X Schitt's Creek one yet. Though to be fair I don't think Ian and Mickey would get along very well with David and Patrick…

C: No, I definitely can't see myself merging the two.

GT: What's your favorite Gallavich fic that you’ve written so far and why?

C: I really do like all the ones I've written but I think my favorite one out of them has to be 'The Good Life', it's an AU I wrote back in the day, based on a picture of Noel and Emma Greenwell dressed up. They were both blonde and they looked so much alike that I got the idea to write an AU based on them being twins in high school living in the North Side. Ian works at a restaurant as a waiter that also does catering and one night he's working a party that Terry is hosting so he meets Mickey. That one is probably one of my favorites I've written, but like I said, I really love all the ones I've written, especially my multi chapters because I put a lot of time into them all.

GT: What kind of comments do you enjoy receiving the most?

C: The ones that go into detail about what exactly they loved about the fic or chapter, it makes me feel good to see that someone enjoyed my story so much that they pinpointed a specific part. Any nice comment makes me smile though and I appreciate them more than you know.

GT: Agreed, comments are a writer's fuel.

What are some of your favorite fics and/or writers in the fandom?

C: I'm not one to keep fics and reread them so I can't even really tell you my favorites from the past few years of reading lol but I do have some favorites right now like Cooperative Gameplay by Grayola [@gallavichy​](she's a fave writer of mine too), I'm reading Against Glass by AllThatMatters currently and that's really good too. Other fave writers are Shamelessquestions [@goodkwuestion​], ianrightsonly [@ianrightsonly​]. But yeah like I said, I don't save fics or even reread them because of the thousands of fics out there, there's always something to read.

GT: Literally! I remember when I used to sort of keep up with the fics, now there's no way I can. There are several thousands on AO3 alone!

How do you choose then, what to read? What kinds of fics do you enjoy reading?

C: There's an insane amount so there's no way to keep track! Lmaoo

It's why I figure like if I can't find the one I really loved 5 years ago, it's fine because there's thousands of them to read so im bound to find more I like lol.

If the summary and tags call out to me then I'll read it.

GT: Do you have any favorite tropes?

C: Yeah, I like fake dating, enemies to lovers, childhood friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, coworkers to lovers. If it's done right I also like soulmate aus. I like canon-compliant fics too, so like any kind of retelling of their canon journey, future fics, so them a little older with a kid or something. Any kind of fun AU I'm into.

I definitely don't like mpreg, apocalypse, tentacles, anything supernatural like vampires etc, love triangles, and yeah things like that I usually avoid.

GT: What's your favorite Shameless season?

C: 4 is definitely my favorite. It was so dramatic but had so many of the best moments of the series, especially for Ian and Mickey. But despite all the hate, I also really liked season 11. I find it very comforting because of Ian and Mickey being husbands 

GT: I know, if nothing else, they were together and happy. After everything they (and we) have been through, it's definitely heart-warming.

Do you have a favorite episode?

C: Exactly, like ya they bickered but that's what couples do and they never were apart. I found it comforting to see my fave couple of 10 years finally be married and happy and together always like they're so obsessed with each other! Lmao

Of s11 or in general?

GT: In general, though it may be from S11.

C: I don't have many full episodes as faves, more like scenes or moments, but some fave episodes are 4x08, 4x11, 10x12, and from s11 I rly liked episode 7 and 10

Oh and 3x05.

GT: Oh, what about those scenes or moments then, what are them?

C: Ian and Mickey teasing each other and Mickey getting jealous in 3x05, and their first kiss finally. That's a great moment for them.

4x08, Mickey kissing Ian in the club and saying they are together. I remembered watching that live and screaming! Lmao I was so excited 

4x11 Mickey’s coming out was ICONIC.

10x12 Ian and Mickey getting married and doing everything to still make it happen.

11x07 I just thought was so fun and light. I loved seeing Ian and Mickey try to "make friends", them singing and dancing together and being free.

And I also really liked 11x10 because of their whole sl of getting a new place.

I can only really remember episodes for being good that center around Ian and Mickey hahah

GT: I can totally relate, after a while they were the sole reason for me to watch the show to be honest.

Alright, tell me about your upcoming projects, what do you have in the works?

C: I have some prompts to work on but right now I'm working on a series [You were always going to be the one for me] with a friend I met on here actually. I had written back in February a long one shot of football quarterback Ian and Mickey who would hang out at the bleachers to watch Ian play. Ian is fake dating Mandy and comes over a lot and he and Mickey get together. I decided to make it a series because in the first one I wrote they got into different schools in California together and moved there for university. We recently posted the next part of the fic and it's them in their first year out in California. There's gonna be another 3 parts for each year of school, then one last part to show them post-university.

GT: Oh, that's cool! Sounds like a long project. I'll be looking forward to it.

Ok, that was it. Thank you so much for participating. Do you have any last words for us?

C: Yay I'm glad! The series title is 'You were always going to be the one for me'. 

Just to follow me on bellafarella (tumblr) and mickeysmyheart (twitter) and to subscribe to me on ao3 (bellafarella) to get updates on upcoming fics.

Thanks so much for this, it was fun! 💖

[blkgirlcafe]

Professor Nasty Pt. 2

Professor! Florian Munteanu x Black! Reader

Warning: Rough sex, unprotected sex, cheating, undefined age gap, dirty talking, slight degrading.

I keep my description of the reader pretty vague, make her how you want, but she black fosho. I am trying to get better at writing from a Y/N perspective, so any constructive criticism is welcomed.

Thank you @dersha89​ for the inspiration.  Thank you love!

The Chinese food they ended up ordering was just being pushed around her plate. 

“What's wrong, you've been so quiet since you got here. Did he fail your paper again, dude can be so hard.” Fynn shoved fried rice into his mouth, bits dropping everywhere. 

“Just tired.” 

Fynn rolled his eyes, “Then go to bed.” 

Y/N stood, taking her plate and shoving it in the fridge. 

“I’m going home, you can play your game without being worried about me.” 

Part of Y/N knew she was taking her bad attitude out of Fynn not that he deserved it, she had literally cheated on him hours ago and now she was being bitchy. 

“Fine, maybe we can link when you fix your attitude, I didn't do anything to you.” 

Y/N didn't even stay to hear the rest, just grabbed her stuff to head back to her apartment, where she should have gone in the first place. 

Thank god her two roommates were out, she closed and locked the door to her room, not wanting to be disturbed. Y/N turned on her soft music playlist and tried to get some studying done, but nothing was clicking. She kept thinking about Mr. Munteanu and what had happened. She opened the text thread a few times, reading the message, trying to decipher things that weren't there. His message was clear and concise, he wanted to see her again. And Y/N wanted to see him too. 

So she texted him back. 

Where am I headed?

“Hello trick, you off in LaLa Land?” Chris waved her hand in front of Y/N’s face. 

Y/N snapped out her daydream, today was Friday and she was absolutely frazzled by what could happen tonight. He had sent her an address, one not far from the school, and told her to dress sexy. 

“No, just tired.” 

“If I hear that shit one more time, I swear.” Chris grabbed a fry from Y/N’s uneaten plate. 

“Well I am, what you want me to say.” 

“The truth, first you fight with Fynn for no damm reason, you been MIA all fucking week, and I finally track you down and you barely can string a sentence together. I’m not stupid.”

“You sure, cause you went back to Jason 4 times.” Y/N snapped. 

“Ohh that was low, you def hiding something chick. Let me find out.” Chris was staring her down and it made Y/N squirm. 

“Look I am sorry, that was low, my bad. But I am stressed, school, being away from family, being one of the few black women at this school, not being able to find decent hair products. I could go on.” 

Y/N could tell that Chris was not buying it at all. They had been friends since freshman year and they could read each other. 

“Imma let you slide, but when you are ready to tell me the truth, just know I am here. And Fynn getting on my fucking nerves, he keeps asking me whats wrong with you and how he can make it better.”

That made Y/N feel even worst, Fynn was trying his hardest to be a good guy and here she was out here being scum. 

“I’ll make it up to him.” 

“Hopefully with this that you ask me to bring.” 

Chris put a bag on the table, and Y/N smiled on the inside. Chris was the queen of dressing fly and sexy. She made anything look good. Whenever Y/N need an outfit she shopped Chris closet. 

Y/N had asked Chris to bring her dress and she had delivered. Y/N pulled the dress out, giving it a look. A blue mini dress that sparkled, it left very little to the imagination. This was a no bra type of dress, the straps super thin. 

“Damm this is dope, thank you.”

“No problem and I dont need it back, what is it for?”

“Going to surprise Fynn.” Y/N lied. 

“Pair it with those clear pumps you have and girl you will be looking irresistible. Promise. Look I gotta go, hit me up and let me know how it goes.” 

Chris stole a few more fries before blowing Y/N a kiss and leaving her to sit and wonder if she was making a good choice. 

Y/N checked herself one more time before she went downstairs to wait for her cab. The blue mini dress looked perfect against her brown skin. The twist out that she did had came out perfect, light makeup, a gold necklace with her initial sat center on her chest. Another coat of lipgloss and finally a spray of Rogue by Ms. Fenty and she was ready to go. 

And of course Chris was right about the clear pumps, they went perfectly with the dress. She looked great, Y/N snapped a quick picture before grabbing her clutch and heading out. Trying to sneak past her roommates was not an option, they whistled as she walked past, paying her compliments and saying how lucky Fynn was. 

If only they knew that Fynn wasn't the lucky one. 

The whole ride to his condo was nerve wracking, Y/N alternated between bouncing her leg and checking her phone obsessively. Part of her hoped he would cancel, and she could go see Fynn and make it up to him. 

The cab dropped her off in front of a high rise, she didn't know the going rate for a professor but she didn't think it was this. The place was nicer than she expected with a doorman outside. 

Stepping into the elevator Y/N knew there was no turning back, she was here and her panties were already damp and the possibility of fucking Mr. Munteanu again. The quickie they had on the desk was just a taste, a teaser of what it was like to be with a man. 

“You look gorgeous Miss Y/F/N” 

Y/N shyly looked down as Mr. Munteanu looked her over, he sucked his bottom lip in as he traced the hem of the short dress. 

“Thank you Sir.”

“Here, you can call me Flo or Daddy sweetie, come in.” 

The door closed behind her and suddenly she was pushed against the wall. Florian grabbed Y/N neck, making her look up at him. He kissed her, soft at first before aggressively overpowering her. Y/N hands landed on his chest, the feeling of the hard muscle of her hands. Y/N gasped when he pulled away, her chest heaved as she gulped down air. 

“This is going to be fun Miss Y/F/N.” 

“If I can call you Daddy, I'm sure you can find something better to call me.” she smirked. 

“Is that right babygirl, don’t worry I have all night to come up with names to call you.” Florian dragged Y/N to the couch, pushing her over the arm. 

Y/N ass was in the air, the dress which was already short, pushed up. Florian parted her legs, standing between them as he ran a finger up and down the wet crotch of her panties. 

“Guess I should call you slut for being wet already, I’ve barely touched you.”

“I’ve been thinking of you all week.” her voice was weak. 

“Good.” was all he said as he pulled her panties down. Florian kneeled between her legs, the first bite surprising her. Y/N squirmed and Florian gave her ass a light smack. 

“Let Daddy take care of you.” 

Y/N moaned as Florian bit and sucked her thighs, slowly working his way up to her dripping wet pussy. 

“I like to take my time baby, what's the point if I can't slowly devour you.” 

“Please…” 

Y/N was not used to this, Fynn was only her 4th sexual partner. Foreplay usually lasted a few minutes if she was lucky.

The first kiss to her wet core sent shivers up her spine. The professor slowly made out with her pussy, the sloppy kissing turned into his tongue slowly licking her from top to bottom. His pace was so slow and torturous that Y/N’s hips tried to follow his movement. He repeated the same move and his teasing was too much for her to take. 

“Please Daddy, more.”

Y/N pleas feel on deaf ears, he was enjoying this too much. Y/N gasped when he sucked her clit into his mouth, the small bundle of nerves suddenly over simulated. Y/N never felt a pleasure like this, he was being a teacher in more than one way. 

His lips released her clit, his wide tongue driving into her wet slit. Quickly diving in and out, Y/N rocked on his face. Y/N fist balled as her legs shook, Florian was being merciless, eating her with a passion that she never felt. Y/N was just paralyzed with pleasure, the way he changed pace from slow to fast, back to slow. The way he sucked her clit then tongue fucked her. He was a man that knew what he was doing, a skilled man. 

“Oh my God!!” moaned Y/N, the way the orgasm took over her whole body, she felt it rushing through her veins. 

Florian stood, his jeans grinding against her wet and sensitive pussy. 

He leaned down, kissed her neck before whispering,“ Do you want to know what I'm going to do to you all night?” Right in her ear. 

Y/N was still breathless from the mind shattering orgasm, that she couldn't speak, she just shook her head. Florian grabbed her hair, so that she was facing him. 

“I’m going to fuck you like a man should, you will never want a boy again when I am finished with you.” 

With one hand still tangled in her hair, something she would never let Fynn do, Y/N heard the sound of his jeans being undone. Her body still recovering from the tongue lashing that he gave her didn't have time to prepare for him or his thick dick. 

“Fuck!” they both said. Y/N from the way he stretched her out, and Florian from the way her walls wrapped around him. 

Florian released her hair, putting his hands on either side of her, slowly feeding her inch by inch, wanting to savor the feeling of her walls hugging him. Y/N didn't want that, she wanted all of him and now. 

“Please go deeper Daddy, I need it.” she begged, her nails dug into his arm. Y/N pushed back, wanting all of his thick length to be inside of her. 

Florian moaned, he promised himself he would take his time, but he couldn't hold back. He snapped his hips into hers, burying every last inch into her. Gone was the slow tender strokes, he pounded into her. 

“Give me a kiss baby girl.” 

Y/N turned her face to kiss him, but couldn't focus because of how he was fucking her. Soft kisses barely made it to his lips until he stopped moving. Florian grabbed her jaw and kissed her, tongues battling it out, he grinded his hips into her, watching her melt. Florian finally pulled away, resting his forehead on her back. 

Y/N felt surrounded by him, his powerful arms on either side of her, digging into the material of the couch. His chest against her back, she couldn't move if she wanted to, she was trapped and happy about it. 

Pain mixed with pleasure as his strokes sped up, both chasing their own orgasm. Y/N clung to him as her legs trembled and she let out a loud moan. 

Florian kept fucking her through the orgasm, he never experienced this with any other woman, wanting to completely consume her in each way possible. 

“Fuck, Im cumming baby.” 

His body went riding on top of her, as he released a flood inside of her. Y/N wasn't sure she would move if she wanted to, she felt drained of energy and completely happy. 

When Florian finally moved off of her, pulling up his boxers before sitting on the couch, Y/N stood on unsteady legs. Y/N looked around for her panties and bag. She fixed her dress, she could feel his seed dripping out of her. She had turned around to pick up her panties when she felt his presence behind her. 

She stood, panties in hand. 

He moved her hair out the way, softly kissing her neck, “You don't need them, I am nowhere near done with you.”

[1358456]

Random Rambling

I think these rambles help remind me that I still have this Tumblr, and that I should hurry the f*ck up and finish the two short stories so that I don’t have it anymore. And also maybe explain why the next short story (Practice Battle 4) is taking so damn long.

As always, my efficiency in writing story stuff depends pretty much entirely on my mood. And my mood lately is... ehh... it’s not great. It’s not bad either, but... it’s just not good.

I work in retail for half of the week. As in, I get to deal with the worst of humanity who aren’t necessarily breaking the law, thus I’m absolutely powerless to do anything about it. Unlike, say... the police, who’d deal with the worst of humanity, but they can usually do something about it.

Like... a customer bought a $30 cigar pack along with some other stuff, went to her car, and then immediately came back, saying that we never gave her the cigars while it was on the receipt, and then demanded that we give her another one. Except... we did give her the first one. We immediately went to her car, opened the door, and there it is. And then her tone immediately changes, saying that it was all a misunderstanding, and that she was just trying to buy another pack. Yeah. So that’s why she came back, shoving the receipt in our faces and then yelling at us? ... What can we do about these shitbags? Not a damn thing. Hence the powerlessness and the frustration.

But all that is on the days I work, and sometimes even on Mondays. So... what about now, in the middle of the week? Well, my mood is still not great and that’s because... I live in a condo. As in, it’s f*cking hot in here, and the whole condo’s heating/cooling hasn’t switched over to cooling yet. So the air conditioning doesn’t work, and won’t work until like... the 24th. And the in-suite thermostat says it’s 30C in here right now. I’m literally parked in front of the fan with ice packs in my shirt. Cold, I can tolerate pretty well. Heat, no. I could open the windows, but... the windows face west. As in, in order to open the windows, I need to open the blinds, and that means sunlight enters unobstructed, making things even hotter. So I have to wait until the sun sets. Not to mention, opening one window does nothing. I’ll need to open another one on the other side for full ventilation. And that window does not exist. ... And to think, that it was snowing (a bit) a week ago.

And I guess I am still doing store work even at home. Namely, I have to deal with anything that involves phone calls, since these guys don’t work on weekends. Why do we work on weekends when other people don’t? Heh. Markets have to stay open, I guess, so we can deal with assholes 7 days a week, 360 days a year. We only get a handful of mandatory holidays. So when YOU go to a grocery store or what-have-you... don’t be an asshole. Especially in a small store where you’re likely to deal with the owners instead of some hired dude who doesn’t give a sh*t.

I like to think that I’ve gotten a WHOLE LOT more tolerant to other stores’ problems. A technical difficulty occurs so that cards aren’t usable? Yeah, that sucks, but I’ve also been through that as well, so... no worries. Cashier makes a mistake and is taking a while to correct it? Yeah, training new cashiers can take a while, and it doesn’t help if the customer is bitching about it, so... take all the time in the world. Some old man is taking absolutely forever right in front of me, and the cashier is really nervous that I might be getting upset? Don’t worry about a thing, I have to deal with that all the time too. Store’s closing up soon? Well then, I’d better hurry the hell up and get out of their hair, because one thing I really hate is when customers don’t realize that the store closed, and are still taking their sweet ass time while I already locked the doors and want to close the cashiers but I can’t because there are still people inside.

But at the same time, I’ve definitely gotten colder and much more sarcastic than ever before. The good news is, I’m still in control enough to keep the bitter sarcasm inside, instead of voicing them out loud on the spot. The bad news is, if shit continues to happen, then inevitably... Hopefully I’ll get hardened enough so that shit like this don’t phase me anymore... which is worrisome in a different way.

Anyways. With all that... my mood... not great. Maybe once the air conditioning starts, I’ll be in good enough of a mood to write the short stories whose tones are lighthearted, fun, and friendly.

I’m also very tired. This week alone, I had to deal with... store renovation, power failure, car troubles x3, ATM issues, police investigation, scale issues, dairy company deals, gigantic lineups (Mother’s Day)... And then I come back home and it’s f*cking hot in here, pigeons made a mess of the balcony that I to clean up, had to [redacted], walk home from the car dealership (45 minutes) as a part of the car troubles in this weather, had to walk back to the car dealership as the end of the car troubles in hotter less windy weather, call to deal with some billing issues... And then after ONE day of not doing anything tomorrow, it’s back to the store for work on Friday after another 3 hour drive.

... I guess I can make some progress (maybe) tomorrow?