#this hits especially hard after leaving college and not yet finding work

[soapdispensersalesman]

[tickly-giggles]

Can we have a drabble for lee!Hawks, prompt 12, with his wings? I'm a sucker for lee!Hawks and especially ticklish wings! Only if you want to, tho!!

YES OF COURSE YOU CAN, ANON! Thank you for sending this in, I've been waiting for someone to send one!

A/N: Some sentence starters are a little awkward for me to put directly at the beginning, so this one is a little further down, but it's there! This isn't necessarily connected to my current DabiHawks tk universe, but if you wanna think of this as a little flashback type deal, then go for it! Also, I decided to make this a college AU, cuz I couldn't find a proper way to make it in the normal universe and have Hawks be struggling with something that has a deadline that he could fail on. So, college AU it is! A quick thought just popped into my mind, though, about renewing hero licenses, though I don't know if that's a thing. REGARDLESS, ENOUGH RAMBLING-

Warning: Tickle fic ahead!

Prompt: "I'm gonna fail if I don't finish before the deadline."

Characters: Dabi, Hawks

Shipping: Technically DabiHawks, I promise they'll get together soon, guys

Lee: Hawks

Ler: Dabi

Word Count: 1,072

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yet another sleepless night of never ending studying put Keigo into quite the irritated mood. He sat at his desk in front of his laptop, head in his hands, the screen displaying a document that currently only had three paragraphs written. Birds started chirping outside his window as light from the sunrise began streaming into his dorm. With a frustrated sigh, he looked up at his computer screen and glared at the document. He had never been this stressed in his life.

Keigo’s overthinking was abruptly interrupted by a low groan and the shuffling of bed sheets from behind him. Touya slipped out from under the covers and stretched, then he looked over at his roommate, who had his back turned to him and was still staring at the laptop.

“You’re up early,” Touya commented, shivering as his bare feet hit the floor.

“Haven’t slept,” Keigo replied curtly.

Touya frowned and stood, walking over to his roommate. Empty energy drink cans littered his desk, and a small pile of dirty plates sat beside his laptop. When was the last time he even moved from his chair?

“You gotta get some sleep, Keigo,” 

Touya said as he reached for the laptop. He huffed when Keigo swatted his hand away,

“When’s the last time you showered?”

“Like, last night or something?”

“Bullshit,”

Touya hissed, glaring at Keigo, who refused to look at him,

“I had a hard time getting to sleep cuz your sleep deprived ass wouldn’t go to bed, and that damn laptop is brighter than my fire.”

“Tsk. Whatever, I just need to get this done.”

“You need to look after yourself.”

“I’m fine, Touya.”

“You’re not fine,”

the hot head crossed his arms,

“Your wings are drooping.”

“Dude, I’m gonna fail if I don’t finish before the deadline,”

Keigo finally turned to his friend, 

“You know how important this essay is! It’s due tomorrow, and I barely have anything written down. I know how my quirk works and how I can use it in battle, but I can’t explain it!”

he growled and slammed his fist on the desk,

“Why is an essay gonna be the deciding factor of if I graduate or not?!”

Touya sighed and rubbed his roommate’s head soothingly, 

“Relax, birdbrain. It isn’t the end of the world. You still have a whole day to get it done,”

he then took Keigo’s hand and tugged gently,

“But you need sleep first. You won’t be able to think properly if you’re running on fumes.”

“I can’t sleep right now,” Keigo groaned,

“Please leave me alone.”

Touya glared at his friend, getting more frustrated as time passed. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head, and his annoyed expression quickly transformed into a mischievous one.

“Fine,”

he huffed as he walked behind Keigo and positioned himself at his wings that hung over the back of the chair,

“I guess I’ll have to make you.”

“What does that even me-HEEEHEHEAN! NONONO TOUYA STOHOHOHOP!”

Keigo shrieked with sudden, uncontrollable laughter. Touya smirked as he dug into his friend’s fluffy wings, then yelped when one of them flapped a little too hard and smacked him right in the face.

“You little shit,” the hot head grumbled.

“I-I’m sohohorry,”

Keigo whined, standing up and holding his hands up in surrender while his roommate approached him,

“Touya, please, I’ll go to sleep, just anything but this– TOUYA!!”

Touya wasted no time, pouncing on his winged friend and pinning him to the bed, then scribbling all ten of his fingers over his sensitive feathers. Ever since they were children, Touya knew Keigo’s worst spot was his wings. He loved tormenting him whenever he got on his nerves, or even if he was just bored. His friend never failed to provide an entertaining experience.

“Too little too late, Keigo,”

the hot head smirked evilly, savoring his trapped roommate’s screams of ticklish agony,

“You should’ve decided before I had to resort to this. ‘sides, you hit me with your wings. I deserve some payback for that.”

“IHIHIHIT WAS AN AHAHAHACCIDENT, YOU PRIHIHIHICK!” Keigo cackled, thrashing helplessly,

“YOU WERE TIHIHIHICKLING MEHEHEHE! I COULDN’T HEHEHELP IHIHIT!”

“Not my problem,”

Touya shrugged, moving his fingers toward where Keigo’s wings connected to his back, and he chuckled as his friend’s laughter became more high pitched and desperate,

“Poor little Keigo. Can’t handle it, huh? Is it too much? You poor thing~.”

“SHUHUHUT UHUHUHUHUP!!”

“Awww, does teasing get to you? Hmm? Does it make it worse?”

he leaned in closer to Keigo’s flushed face, still talking in that sickeningly effective baby voice,

“Do you like it when I tease you? Huh, little birdie~?”

“TOHOHOHOUYA, PLEHEHEHEHEASE!!” 

Keigo felt extremely hot, and he pushed at Touya’s face with one hand while covering his own with his other hand.

“Ohh~? Do you like that nickname, little birdie? Does it make you flustered? Ah ah ah, don’t cover your face,”

Touya huffed and quickly grabbed Keigo’s wrists, pinning them above his head and giving him a little breather,

“Or I’ll make you regret it~.”

The winged student swallowed nervously and stared deeply into his friend’s eyes while catching his breath. He’d be lying if he said this wasn’t exciting and fun, but he still had his paper to write. He frowned and averted his gaze.

“Can I go back to working on my paper, please?”

“Your paper will be there.”

“Touya, let me up.”

“Nope.”

“Touya–”

“That’s it.”

Laughter once again rang throughout the dorm room, only stopping when Keigo’s boisterous cackling turned into silent hysteria. Touya knew he wasn’t going to listen, so he had no choice but to tire him out enough so that he wouldn’t even think of anything but sleep. 

About an hour had passed when the hot head finally decided to let up, and his plan had worked. Keigo fell asleep almost instantly after the tickle attack, and Touya tucked him in gently. He smiled as his roommate snored peacefully. It was an adorable sight - his flushed face stained with mirth and a small smile resting on his lips. He looked so comfortable. Touya sighed fondly and ran his fingers through Keigo’s soft hair, his eyes lingering on his lips for longer than he would admit. Finally, he walked over to the desk and made sure to save his friend’s work before closing the laptop, and began cleaning up the mess. He was positive Keigo would do better once he got some rest.

Request a drabble~

[crowdvscritic]

round up // AUGUST 24

I try not to get too personal here, but this month it’s hard not to reflect when given an outlet. 

This month I turned 32. I celebrated my first year at a job, and I'm months from a completing 10 years of grown-up work. Kyla and I are planning to record our final bits of our Gilmore Girls podcast SO IT’S A SHOW? after seven years. Pending nothing falls through, I’m about to move out of my first home into a new one. And through exactly zero effort on my part, I achieved my dream of becoming an aunt when my first nephew was born.

Because of that little guy and because I’m now the age of Lorelai at the start of Gilmore Girls, I’m thinking about what I would tell my younger self. (I’m also going through my annual Gilmore rewatch at the moment, so forgive me as, like the Gilmores, I can’t help but think about my life through a pop culture lens sometimes. And like Kathleen Kelly, I often ask, “So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?") When I started Crowd vs. Critic, I was closer to Rory’s age at the start of the series (16), and I identified with her through much through my 20s. I knew one day my responsibilities would look more like Lorelai’s, but I had no idea how much I’d identify with her personality and character arc. I’m sure you’re questioning nature vs. nurture here—is this because I’ve spent more than a decade watching and analyzing the show? Or because the Palladinos and series writers were keen observers of women between the ages of 16 and 32? I imagine it’s a bit of both.

A few things I’d tell my teenage self: 

You won’t leave mean girls behind when you graduate. Even decades later, you’ll be haunted by the moments you crushed others, and your heart will swell remembering people who invited you into the circle.

You’ll figure out how to fix your hair, touch up your makeup, and paint your nails, though by the time you’ve gotten the hang of it all, it won’t feel as important as it does to you now. 

Not that you have everything figured out. You’re still working on body image, finding your voice apart from others, and work-life balance, just to name a few. 

You don’t realize it yet, but you’re an anxious person. Loosening up doesn’t mean you’re slacking, making mistakes doesn’t mean you’re failing. Your life doesn’t look like you expect it will at 32, but you’ve worked to make a lot of it joyful, and I think you’d be proud of a lot of it.

Follow what brings you joy and energy. Trust your taste even if it feels too idiosyncratic or too “girly.” You’ll still love Audrey Hepburn, John Hughes movies, and Taylor Swift when you’re 32 and still growing up now.

Drop what feels like a burden, even if it feels like something you “should” be interested in. Except for your taxes—definitely do your taxes.

Speaking of taxes, adulting sucks sometimes, but your heart won’t die like you fear it might. Long before 32, you realize you wouldn’t trade the freedom of adulthood or that you like yourself better every year to be 16 again. 

SLEEP. Dear me, if you don’t remember anything else on this list, this one piece of advice will improve every area of life, especially during your freshman year of college.

The rest of this post is going to look much more like a typical Round Up, though I’d be remiss to skip one final reflection. In these 5 years of Round Ups and 12 years of Crowd vs. Critic, I've become a better writer, largely because I just keep doing it and hitting “publish” even when I’m not sure each piece is perfect. (Actually, I’m sure—they’re not perfect.) I’m less generous in my reviewing, though I hope it's because my knowledge of film is deeper and my watching is more adventurous, not because I’m a snob. I haven't tired of the concept of Crowd vs. Critic, either. Who knew I'd still be writing about movies and making pop culture recommendations all because of one afternoon at the theater to see Snow White and the Huntsman?

August Crowd-Pleasers

1. The Paris 2024 Olympics

The ‘lympics are back, baby! After a lackluster pair of games muted by a pandemic, they returned with a vengeance narrated by Snoop Dogg’s dulcet enthusiasm. As I’m not qualified to discuss the athletic performances—though, you know, they seemed pretty good to me—I’ll focus my Olympic Round Up on, yes, the memes.

Trying to capture all of Snoop Dogg’s moments of brilliance would be like trying to funnel all the grains of sand on Earth into a trinket dish, but these are a good start:

“Here Are All the Things Snoop Dogg Is Doing at the Paris Olympics,” complex.com

“Watch Snoop Dogg Freestyle to 'Gin & Juice' While Horse Trots Out for Olympics Event,” EW.com

“Snoop Dogg's Badminton Highlights Are Exactly What the Olympic Sport Needs,” NBC.com 

“Pure Gold: Snoop Dogg’s Best Moments at the Olympics So Far,” RollingStone.com

“Fans Can't Get Enough of Snoop Dogg’s ‘Adorable’ Reaction to Meeting a French Bulldog,” Parade.com

But Snoop Dogg wasn't the only highlight. This was the Olympics of memes: 

“These Memes Are Winning The 2024 Paris Olympics,” forbes.com

“How Paris 2024 Became the Most Memed Olympics Ever,” TheConversation.com

“Tom Cruise(d) Into the Olympics Closing Ceremony,” Esquire.com

“Breakdancing Raygun, Tom Cruise's Closing Ceremony Stunt and the Most Meme-able Moments from the 2024 Paris Olympics,” Yahoo.com

And these are a few more Olympic insights sans memes worth recommending: 

“Inside the Creation of the U.S. Gymnasts’ Paris Olympics Leotards,” WashingtonPost.com

“‘Our Billion-Dollar Olympic Lab’: What NBC Is Taking From Paris to L.A.,” HollywoodReporter.com

“Hosting the Olympics Costs Billions. What Does a City Get Back?” NYTimes.com 

2. Trap (2024)

We need more guys like M. Night Shyamalan who make mainstream movies weirder by just doing whatever they want and not caring if anyone else thinks they're cool. (Baz Luhrmann is also great at this.) Don’t think too hard about the plot mechanics here—just go along for the ride as serial killer Josh Hartnett (cooking!) watches the stadium walls closing in at a concert. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

3. It Ends With Us (2024)

I didn't know I had 1000 words in me on this weepy, but here I am mentioning Douglas Sirk and Spitgate and 2007's Waitress all in one breath in my review for ZekeFilm. I also did my best to quickly sum up the red carpet drama in my review for KMOV. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

4. Honey by Isabel Banta (2024)

Inspired by Ashlee, Backstreet, Britney, Christina, Destiny, Hilary, Lindsay, Jessica, Kelly, Mandy, Mariah, NSYNC, and insert-your-fave-pop-act-of-the-late-‘90s-and-early-‘00s here, Isabel Banta’s debut novel examines how the music industry consumes and destroys young people (especially women) in the pursuit of another Top 40 hit. It’s more salacious than I prefer, but I couldn’t stop thinking about its insight into how women’s bodies are reduced to their elements both for publicity and to be jeered at—you might call it stripping them and selling them for parts. Though women have greater agency on the Billboard charts now than they did 25 years ago, it will make you remember Taylor Swift couldn’t buy back her catalog from Scooter Braun and Sabrina Carpenter getting slammed for love triangle gossip.

5. Double Feature - 2024 Streaming Romances feat. Middle-Aged Women Falling for Famous Men 16 Years Younger Introduced to Them by Their Daughters: The Idea of You + A Family Affair

In romantic drama The Idea of You (Crowd: 8.5 // Critic: 6.5/10), Anne Hathaway falls for a thinly-veiled Harry Styles (Nicholas Galitzine), which would be perfect if her insecurities weren’t making her second-guess every step of their May-December relationship. In romantic comedy A Family Affair (9/10 // 7/10), Nicole Kidman falls for an A-list movie star (Zac Efron), which would be perfect if he wasn’t her daughter’s (Joey King) demanding boss. Idea doesn’t stick to its own plot logic and Affair leans into clichés, but they’re both a good time if you come with an open heart. Both should have been theatrical releases!

MORE AUGUST CROWD-PLEASERS // The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015) proves Guy Ritchie can't return to the stylish espionage well too many times // Tommy Boy (1995) is the platonic ideal of a Saturday Night Live cast movie // Why did this rom-com fan wait so long to watch the charming Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)? // The Secret of Us by Gracie Abrams (2024) shows a promising future for an up-and-coming singer-songwriter // I wonder if we’re all going to agree we slept on the fun action-comedy The Instigators (2024) in a few years

August Critic Picks

1. Sing Sing (2024)

Each year there is one film I dub the Official Ugly Cry of Taylor Blakes Everywhere, and I hope this is it because I don't think I handle another until 2025. (Previous recipients include The Father, The Iron Claw, tick, tick...BOOM!, and Women Talking.) This prison drama made me think of The Shawshank Redemption and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. I’m not sure if this will be an all-timer like those, but it’s a good sign we won’t be forgetting Colman Domingo’s incredible lead performance through Awards Season. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9.5/10

2. The Hollywood Hack Podcast Series (2024)

Remember when North Korea hacked Sony because of a James Franco/Seth Rogen comedy? This three-part series covers one of the weirdest pop culture moments of my lifetime that I had also almost completely forgotten about. Like all of Brian Raftery’s reporting for The Big Picture, it’s full of thoughtful interviews and analysis on how it paved the way for the next decade of pop culture. 

3. Hollywood Black: The Stars, The Films, The Filmmakers by Donald Bogle (2019)

This book from the Turner Classic Movies library chronicles the history of African-American cinema decade by decade, listing more than 800 films that chronicle the progress and setbacks for Black Hollywood. Bogle tracks evolving stereotypes, career opportunities, and thematic depth starting with the dawn of moving pictures in 1903. All have improved greatly—and the book ends on an optimistic note with its publication just after Black Panther, Get Out, and Moonlight—but a book like this provides phenomenal context for issues and criticisms we still discuss today. Another must-read from TCM!

4. Double Feature - Hollywood Black Recommendations: Stormy Weather (1943) + To Sir, With Love (1967)

I have a lot of titles left to watch mentioned in Hollywood Black, but I’m glad I prioritized these two before they expired on my DVR. In Stormy Weather (Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 8/10), Lena Horne and Bill “Bojangles” Robinson fall in and out of love as they pack in the musical performances with major Black performers of the day (like Fats Waller and the Nicholas Brothers). In To Sir, With Love (8.5/10 // 8.5/10), Sidney Poitier wrangles a rambunctious classroom of London teenagers, inspiring them to treat others (and themselves) with respect. Both are susceptible to corny genre motifs, but their lead performances are radiant. 

5. Double Wedding (1937)

Because Myrna Loy and William Powell are still chemistry GOATs! As per usual, Powell and Loy are meant to be in this romantic comedy, but first they have to restore her sister’s (Florence Rice) relationship with a mild-mannered nice guy (John Beal) after she decides she’d rather be with the caddish, charming Powell. An underrated ‘30s screwball rom-com! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

MORE AUGUST CRITIC PICKS // Even a lesser Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers feature like Follow the Fleet (1936) is filled with phenomenal dance sequences // Even a lesser sequel like Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024) is filled with phenomenal stunt work // Even a lesser version of The Thin Man like Star of Midnight (1935) is filled with wit when William Powell is paired with Ginger Rogers

Also in August…

In our (probably) penultimate episode SO IT’S A SHOW?, Kyla and I researched the inspiration for Rory Gilmore’s journalistic aspirations, Christiane Amanpour. And to do this research, we go to the most important primary sources we could find: sub-par Hollywood sequels! What inspired Amanpour to become a journalist? Is she a good role model for Rory? And what did she think of the Gilmore Girls revival on Netflix? Listen to ep. 142 to find out.

I stopped by KMOV for a Fall Preview to share four September and October films I’m excited for: 

Photo credits: Olympics, Honey, Hollywood Hack, Hollywood Black. All others IMDb.com.

[sorryiapologized]

You and all of your new perspective now, wish I could shut it in a closet

Every time I hear this song it hits me in a slightly different place. Sometimes I'm the speaker, resentful of those who left our hometown (and me) behind to grow up and expand their perspectives. Lately, I've found I'm the subject, reflecting on those I left behind and the ways my change in perspective has irreparably changed the relationships that at one point were the most important to me.

"Silence is making me nostalgic," it's the first line and it hits me like a ton of bricks. As a kid who grew up in an empty home as neglected as I was, silence does ring nostalgic. If I find myself alone with my thoughts for too long I drift right back into my thirteen year old body, waxing poetic about the world and worrying about my place in it.

It's the next line, "Two sizes big your shirt in my apartment. Oh, we were kids but that don't make this less hard," that sinks this song into a specific set of memories of the unique relationship I shared with my sister. The one person I will know for the entirety of my life. The only other person who saw my parent's divorce from the inside. This line reminds me of the lonely summer days spent alone at our dad's apartment. He'd be at work all day and the bars all night. There wasn't much to do, so we'd invent games. We'd create a life-size board game out of sidewalk chalk and boxes. We'd explore the parking lot and spy on our neighbors. We'd make paper airplanes and fly them from the fourth floor stairs. Our connection was formed in this experience of childhood trauma. Despite our youth, the uncertainty and heartbreak of watching our family shatter wasn't easier. Experts would say we were young and malleable enough to bounce back, but nobody else could understand the strain it took on our childhoods, nobody outside the two of us.

"If I could fly I doubt I'd even do it."

My teenage years and beyond was stained in this sentiment. I didn't spread my wings. I watched as my friends applied for colleges across the state and beyond, but I set my sights close. I convinced myself I couldn't do it, but in reality, I didn't even try. The fear of crashing kept me where I was, but at seventeen, where I was didn't feel too bad. It was my hometown, the only home I'd ever known. Even though it was broken, it felt whole, especially with my sister. There was also a tether to that relationship, the desire not to leave her behind, that influenced my decision to stay where I was.

My suburban hometown was about as far as New England as you can get, and yet this song feels like it was written with that place in mind. My community was full of liberal rednecks, semi-educated stupid people who shared their perspectives with me as if they were the only ones in the world.

My friends, my sister, and I, were the attention deficit kids in our gym clothes. We didn't live in the kind of place where dressing up mattered. We wore the clothes we could run and play in and nothing else mattered. We didn't have families that noticed signs of ADHD or Autism. They let us be, left us to struggle, and convinced us we were lazy if we couldn't keep up.

It was an ugly town, though I didn't know this until I started college. I went to a school a half hour from the home I grew up in, but I encountered new perspectives for the first time in my life. On the first day of school, an English professor of mine asked all the students from out of town what their opinion of our small town was. Words like "dirty," "dangerous," and "poor" were thrown around. After class, I looked up where my new peers were from and saw shiny California cities. Their highways were clean, they had trees and parks. For the first time, I noticed the trash, the paper bags floating in the wind, and the regrets started to set in.

When my high school friends returned for our first break from school, they were changed in a way I wasn't. They'd seen new places and gained their own perspectives on where we were from. My best friends were experiencing life first-hand while I watched it pass me by.

There was nothing to do in our hometown. In their new homes, my friends could sneak into bars, but in my hometown where everybody knew everybody else, I had no chance of even buying a fake ID. I spent weekends at Target. Target was the first taste of freedom I had. When I first got my license, Target was the ultimate destination. My sister and I were free from our empty boring apartment. We could walk up and down the aisles, try on all the clothes, read all the greeting cards and shitty romance novels for sale. But, going to Target on the weekends at nineteen felt pathetic. I scrolled through social media in the gardening section, seeing pictures of my old friends traveling abroad, attending festivals and road tripping to national parks while I stayed in the same place I had always been.

I resented the experiences my old friends were having. I skipped their face time calls and stopped commenting on their Instagram posts. I tried to fake interest when they came home for summer break and tried to share all their stories about cool parties and new friends with me but more than anything I just wanted to pull them back down into the small world we'd all existed in before they left me behind.

My second year of college, I made friends despite feeling like a loser "townie." Without even realizing it, my perspective started to shift, too. I took classes that altered the way I saw the world. I started spending less weekends at home with my sister and more on campus.

That year, when everyone went home for winter break, I found myself to be the one who changed. The liberal rednecks who raised me, who I used to admire, now felt out of touch. Just as I was growing up, so was my sister, and I found some of her opinions, some of her politics, to be reflective of the hometown that despite never leaving, I now found to be dirty, dangerous, and poor.

An unbridgeable gap began to spread between me and my sister. We'd argue about the world and I'd quote philosophers and scholars, I'd use words she couldn't pronounce. Just as I'd slowly began to resent my old friends who left to see the world, she too, started to resent my new perspective on things.

This story doesn't have a happy ending, per-se. I graduated college and finally moved out of my hometown around the same time my sister started college, just a few miles from the empty apartment we grew up in.

Now, I live in a bigger city. I see my old friends once a year. We don't talk like we used to. That small world that connected us so closely is a fantasy land in the past none of us can ever return to, yet many of them have returned back to our hometown. I hear stories about them regularly running into our old high school classmates who now frequent the bars our parents used to.

Living in a city only further altered my perspective. I rarely talk to my sister. From afar, I've seen her grow into the same kind of liberal redneck our town seems to breed. My dreams and aspirations have grown but she seems content where she is. I used to spend so many nights worrying about this very thing, crying at the thought that we may grow apart and never feel as close as when we were each other's only family. Now it's just as natural as evolution, though she'd argue against that last one.

I had accepted it for what it was. Then, last Christmas, my sister called me. Maybe it was the holiday that left her nostalgic, or the fact that she was spending it with her boyfriend's quiet family for the first time, but she called to tell me she missed me, and to thank me. We reminisced on our shitty childhood for an hour. I didn't think she was paying attention, but on the other end of the line she reminisced about our empty childhood together. She thanked me for the trips to Target, for keeping the illusion of Santa Clause alive for her, and for inventing all those dumb games during our lonely summers at our dad's apartment.

Back when I felt lost and aimless, when the world was only as big as our dumb suburban town, and when I felt left behind, watching life pass me by through my phone screen, my sister was the person who made our apartment complex feel like central park. Our perspectives are different, we don't talk very often, and when we do, it's a 50/50 chance we're going to argue about something stupid. But on the phone with her, tears came to my eyes, because I realized despite it all, I brought central park to her, too.

We'll never be those kids we once were. We'll never have the relationship we once did. But, somewhere deep down, those kids still live inside us, and it's nice to think that there's a small perspective we'll always share.

[ozziesjester]

here goes nothing. pubby s/i masterpost (will be edited as more get created obv)

raphael (my tmc s/i) is an alternate imitating another archangel. they're based loosely off the archangel raphael, who was known for healing the sick and curing a man of blindness :3 as such, they are functionally blind themselves!!

they live amongst a small village of humans and have for many generations. they're revered as a saint there, even if their healing tactics are a tad ... unconventional. humans healed by them find themselves with an intrinsic desire to serve under raphael until they're either disposed of or die of natural causes.

they're intended to be gabriel's direct foil - where he is cruel and disdainful of humans, raph is caring and sympathetic toward them. though they ultimately work toward the same goal of eradicating humanity

next is doctor fawn (not his real name, AKA scp-████), my scp foundation s/i. he's a man in his late 40s that stopped physically aging around age 12 for unknown, probably anomalous reasons. due to this, he never went through puberty naturally and had to be put on testosterone to simulate puberty.

the foundation discovered him through his work in a college and basically just. Stole Him. they stole a whole ass college professor. initially, they only planned to study him, but with much pushback and whining from fawn he became a researcher.

it's hard to get people to take him seriously. he gets a lot of flack from older researchers but clef gives it to him the worst. he's got the nickname "doctor baby" because of him. his lab coat doesn't fit and the foundation doesn't think it's necessary to tailor it to his size.

he exists as comic relief and pretty much nothing else :/

petal is my trolls s/i! they're a pop troll, but don't really align themselves to a single genre. they grew up in pop village and escaped the troll tree as a Very Small Baby troll with their parents.

they're a huge closeted brozone fan, and went to one of their concerts as a small child. their stan was always john dory, especially after meeting him backstage - he gave them their rainbow beaded bracelet that they'd keep into adulthood

after saving floyd, he'd run into them again in their flower shop and hit it off all over again. now they share rhonda and hardly stay in a single place for too long :3

this is my boy bryce, probably one of my oldest s/i's i have! bryce is an unfortunate circumstance - he was kidnapped by william afton as a small child and would have ended up dead if not for the man taking pity on him.

being raised by a sociopathic serial killer turned him into an emotionally stunted adult who continues his work to this day. he has a particularly deep-seated attachment to his daughter, vanessa, and goes out of his way to "keep tabs" on her after she leaves jeremy's house.

and finally (for now at least), my hellaverse s/i, lillie! their backstory is still in the works, but here's what i've got so far.

in their life, they were neglected and abandoned, leading to a detached sense of self and incredibly low self esteem. they were the perfect candidate to be indoctrinated into a small, yet enthused cult. their ability to follow orders exactly as written and tendency to obey authority no matter what got them to a higher rank within the cult: right up next to their leader.

the beliefs of their cult were unclear, but a few things were certain - their leader claimed he could speak to god, attachment to material possessions was discouraged, and they were to never, ever leave the compound unsupervised.

their plans were to follow their leader's orders up until the "reawakening", in which he promised every member a spot in heaven, so long as he were the one to kill them. naturally, lillie was the first to go. the sacrificial lamb.

their arrival in hell was unexpected, even more so when they were greeted with bloodshed and destruction. unbeknownst to them, they had died during an extermination. in order to shelter themselves from exterminators, they took cover, and hid there until somebody came upon them.

alastor was the first to see them, and took advantage of that. "you picked a very bad day to die!" he offered them guaranteed protection in exchange for their soul. of course they agreed. now they're bound together with no out, and lillie isn't sure they're too upset about that.

[praeteritus-memories-muses]

Name: Kaoru Sakurayashiki

Series: Sk8 The Infinity

Continuity: Anime

Age: 27

Height: 5'9"

Birthday: March 27th

Birthplace: Okinawa, Japan

Orientation: Homosexual

Species: Human

Occupation: Calligrapher, Skateboarder

Father: Gaku Sakurayashiki

Mother: Kayo Sakurayashiki (deceased)

Bio:

Born to a father that owned a small tech company and a quiet stay-at-home mom, Kaoru Sakurayashiki was pretty spoiled as a child. He was their only child, as he has no brothers or sisters to speak of, so it's safe to say that his parents wanted him to have the best life possible.

This meant that Kaoru ended up growing a sort of attachment and abandonment issue. The older he got, the more his parents started to take off. His father's tech company required more business trips to Tokyo while his mother had poor health and had to stay in bed most days.

He probably would've been completely alone had it not been for the only other child in the neighborhood, Kojiro Nanjo. He and Kojiro hit it off immediately and pretty much became inseparable friends, some even thought they might've been family from just how close they've been. Though some question how when they bicker and argue nearly every chance they get. It's all their way of bonding as friends though, though originally it was a lesson to tech Kaoru when they were kids about treating others better.

Due to being so spoiled, it made Kaoru arrogant in himself. With Kojiro being so down to earth, the two ended up balancing each other out and pulling the other up or down when they needed a hand to reach out for them.

This was especially needed when his mother passed away during his second year of high school from her poor health. He probably would've been a complete wreck, had it not been for Kojiro to introduce him to skateboarding where they'd sneak out their homes in the middle of the night to skateboard in the streets.

With his father still working in Tokyo full time, Kaoru started to rebel against him. He got a lip ring, sakura branch tattoo on his lower back and earrings to make his father mad, knowing he would disapproved of that kind of 'inappropriate' jewelry. He never did notice, only making Kaoru rely more on his new skating family and Kojiro.

One night they met a mysterious skater who went by Adam. The three of them quickly became a group of best friends. They're some of Kaoru's happiest moments, and the three of them decided to start a secret skating club called "S" where they could all be free. In S, they'd skate on dangerous tracks while trying to impress one another.

It was no wonder that Kaoru fell in love with Adam, and damn did he fall hard. Just before he was planning to confess to him about his feelings, Adam started behaving strangely.

Adam would try to pull skaters into "the zone", a state of mind when your brain goes on auto pilot which is pretty much suicidal on dangerous tracks. On top of that, just before graduation, Adam announced he's quitting skating and moving to America.

This left Kaoru heartbroken and deeply upset, he was practically ready to chase after him to America until Kojiro pulled him aside and stayed there for him. They did try to find him after graduation, but Kaoru couldn't dig up any information online about him. Why did Adam have to be so distrusting and cold to leave them like that?

Over the next ten years, Kaoru stayed in Okinawa to study in calligraphy. His father suggested he try studying tech and joining the business, but he declined despite his immense talent. As time went on, he discovered how much he loved writing. Skateboarding was fun, but writing traditionally really did calm him down and help process so much about his life.

After college, Kojiro and Kaoru stayed together like glue. They traveled around the world together, including France and Los Angeles. Yet Kaoru would never forget Adam, wondering just what the hell happened to him?

A few years ago, Adam mysteriously returned from America and reopened S. Every time they tried to talk to Adam or call out to him, he pretty much ignored them. Something was definitely wrong with him, Adam didn't look like the calm and happy teenager they knew. This was someone who was clearly miserable in their life. If anything, it reminded Kaoru of how bitter he felt as a teenager.

He would eventually get to skate alongside Adam in an attempt to get through to him, but he was met with a skateboard to the face and told he was 'boring'. Kaoru was absolutely furious at Adam, and any feelings he had for Adam was now gone.

This wasn't the Adam he knew as a teenager anymore. This was Adam going off the deep end as though to prove a point to someone. Who? Himself? He wouldn't really know.

It's only a few weeks after Langa faced off against Adam that he got those answers at a party to congratulate Langa for winning again him. Adam had apparently had a rough childhood and a suffocating private life, but it doesn't mean that Kaoru will forgive him right away for what he did to him and Reki or...ever really.

It all depends on how hard Adam tries to change as a person now that Langa has helped him move into a better direction in life. If he does? He'll think about it and be open to repairing their friendship. If he doesn't? He can't see himself being friends with Adam ever again. His only true friend is Kojiro, their relationship is true infinity.

Kaoru is very intelligent, calm, polite and kind hearted. Yet he's also easily jealous, stubborn, prickly, arrogant, childish and even a little selfish at times. He's also incredibly good with technology and has an AI assistant in his skateboard and cell phone named Carla. Carla's voice was designed after his mother, and he can only fall asleep if Carla sings the same lullaby his mother did. Horrifically prideful as he is, he still misses his mother dearly. Though he did work out his relationship with his father over time, Though his father still works in Tokyo.

He's extremely close with Kojiro, as much as they argue among one another, and he takes on a motherly role for the younger teenagers inside of S. He'll never admit it, but he wants to help guide the kids through that confusing period of life. His name in S is Cherry Blossom, a reference to his last name containing 'Sakura'.

[readingforsanity]

The Help | Kathryn Stockett | Published 2009 | *SPOILERS*

22-year-old Skeeter has just returned home after graduating from Ole Miss. She may have a degree, but it is 1962, Mississippi, and her mother will not be happy till Skeeter has a ring on her finger. Skeeter would normally find solace with her beloved maid Constantine, the woman who raised her, but Constantine has disappeared and no one will tell Skeeter where she has gone. 

Aibileen is a black maid, a wise, regal woman raising her 17th white child. Something has shifted inside her after the loss of her own son, who died while his bosses looked the other way. She is devoted to the little girl she looks after, though she knows both their hearts may be broken. 

Minny, Aibileen’s bet friend, is short, fat, and perhaps the sassiet woman in Mississippi. She can cook like nobody’s business, but she can’t mind her tongue, so she’s lost yet another job. Minny finally finds a position working for someone too new to town to know her reputation. But her new boss has secrets of her own. 

Seemingly as different from one another as can be, these women will nonetheless come together for a clandestine project that will put them all at risk. And why? Because they are suffocating within the lines that define their town and their times. And sometimes lines are made to be crossed. 

In pitch-perfect voices, Kathryn Stockett creates three extraordinary women whose determination to start a movement of their own forever changes a town, and the way women - mothers, daughters, caregivers, fiends - view one another. A deeply moving novel filled with poignancy, humor and hope, The Help is a timeless and universal story about the lines we abide by, and the ones we don’t.

This book follows Skeeter Phelan, a female college graduate of Ole Miss, along with two black maids working for white families in the town of Jackson, Mississippi. The south during this time period was like ane ntirely different world, especially for those of color. 

Skeeter is friends with Hilly Hollbrook as well as Elizabeth Leefolt. They were the best of friends growing up, but unlike Skeeter, Hilly and Elizabeth left college in order to marry and start families of their own. Hilly has two children, Heather and Will Jr., and Elizabeth also has two children, Mae Mobley and was later joined by Ross. Hilly goes through maids like there is no tomorrow, while Aibileen works for Elizabeth and her family. 

Skeeter wants to be a writer, and with inspriation taken from Aibileen’s own deceased son, Treelore, starts on a project first with only Aibileen, later joined by Minny, and after the arrest of one of the maids, by 10 other maids willing to tell their stories. Over the course of the year, they work on telling the world what it’s like to work for white families in a town like Jackson, Mississppi. The book is published by a company from New York, and while it wasn’t going to be an instant hit, it ends up being a bestseller. It soon comes out that the book is about Jackson, though Hilly Hollbrook works hard to convince people otherwise. 

Throughout the novel, historical events take place, such as the marches with Martin Luther King, Jr., the shooting of Medger Evers, the assassination of President Kennedy. In addition, we get to see Minny work for a white woman who suffers through miscarriage after miscarriage, all the while having to be a mother to her own five, soon to be six, children. Aibileen continues to work for Elizabeth, and is trying to teach her children that just because the color of their skin is different, that they’re the same: human. 

Eventually, Hilly begins taking revenge on the maids in the book. Minny’s husband is fired from his job at the request of HIlly’s husband, and Minny finally leaves her abusive situation with her children in tow. Hilly accuses Aibileen of stealing three pieces of her silver service, even though Aibileen hasn’t stolen a thing a day in her life. The beginning of Aibileen’s story is just beginning as she is gonig to give up being the help for white families and truly begin to live her life; Minny is going to continue to work for Miss Celia as she has been told she has a job for life with her and her husband; and Skeeter is moving to New York to work for Harper Magazine to really begin her life. 

This book is such a light, and I will always give it 5/5 stars no matter how many times I read it.  

Discussion Questions

 1. Who was your favorite character? Why? It’s really hard to choose a favorite character. Each character is relatable in their own way. Skeeter because she wants to make a difference in the world; Aibileen for her wisdom and knowledge; and Minny because of her tenacity and strength. 

2. What do you think motivated Hilly? On the one hand she is terribly cruel to Aibileen and her own help, as well as to Skeeter once she realizes that she can’t control her. Yet she’s a wonderful mother. Do you think that one can be a good mother, but at the same time, a deeply flawed person? Hilly is just a terrible person. She thinks awful about people she deems are below her. To her, her children are equal as they’re going to grow up with the knowledge she provides them. Knowledge that she thinks is right. And everyone is flawed, and everyone can be a good parent in their own ways. 

3. Like Hilly, Skeeter’s mother is a prime example of someone deeply flawed yet somewhat sympathetic. She seems to care for Skeeter - and she also seems to have very real feelings for Constantine. Yet the ultimatum she gives to Constantine is untenable; and most of her interaction with Skeeter is critical. Do you think Skeeter’s mother is a sympathetic or unsympathetic character? Why? I think Skeeter’s mother is the way she is because of what her own mother is like. She can be a caring person, because she is a human being with real feelings as well and acknowledges that so is everyone else around her. But, she wasa beauty queen and had a certain set of standards that she was to live by, and she was hoping to pass this onto her daughter. I believe she is both sympathetic and unsympaethic. I could never be so critical to my daughter pointing out flaws that I know will make her self-conscious.  

4. How much of a person’s character would you say is shaped by the times in which they live? A lot. I have to remember that the book takes place in a different time, in the 60s. Of course, I was born in 1990 and don’t know for sure what it was like to live during this time period. Which is why I love the book so much because I feel it gives a true representation of what it was like for those living during that time. Blacks were often looked down upon, were oftentimes the help for which these white families were able to bring them in to care for their children. They were privileged, much like a lot of black people think of whites today. 

5. Did it bother you that Skeeter is willing to overlook so many of Stuart’s faults so that she can get married, and that it’s not until he literally gets up and walks away that the engagement falls apart? It didn’t bother me at all. I think we all looked past our siginificant others faults in order to feel love. My husband is a flawed person, and is by no means perfect. But he’s perfect for me. I haven’t spent the last 14 years of my life with him to not be able to see that he has faults like any other person. Skeeter wanted to be like a regular girl, and when he couldn’t get passed what she had done, though willing to keep her secret for her, she was able to come to terms with the fact that Stuart was not the right person for her, nor was he ever. 

6. Do you believe that Minny was justified in her distrust of white people? Absolutely. White people were horrid not only to her, but to the other maids and servants that were mentioned within the novel. of course, this isn’t true for every single white family mentioned, as some of them were absolutely great to their help, such as Lou Anne. But, Minny was always handed the shit end of the stick in terms of white families to work for. She was a strong character. 

7. Do you think that had Aibileen stayed working for Miss Elizabeth, that Mae Mobley would have grown up to be racist like her mother? DO you think racism is inherent, or taught? Racism is taught. There are no if ands or buts about it. Kids don’t see color. They see beauty in everything. Did I think that Elizabeth was inherently racist? No. You can tell during the last chapter that she really didn’t want Aibileen to be fired. But, she was doing what she was taught to do by Hilly - regard her help as nothing more than the dirt on the bottom of her shoe. Would Mae Mobley follow in her footsteps? I’m not entirely sure. Mae Mobley was growing up during a time when things were changing for the black people of that time period, and she likely would have began seeing them for the humans that they are. 

8. From the perspective of a 21st century reader, the hairshellac system that Skeeter undergoes seems ludicrous. Yet women still alter their looks in rather peculiar ways as the definition of beauty changes with the times. Looking back on your past, what’s the most ridiculous beauty regiment you ever underwent? I don’t think I ever went through anything ridiculous. I went through perms because I wanted curly hair like my older sister. I dyed my hair because I wanted a different hair color. But, I grew up in more modern times, and didn’t need to sit through anything ridiciulous like Skeeter did. 

9. The author manages to paint Aibileen with a quiet grace and an aura of wisdom about her. How do you think she does this? Because Aibileen is likely based on a real person that she has worked with. In fact, in the back of the version of the book I read, Kathryn Stockett talks about having help when she was growing up, and this may be based on her own. 

10. Do you think there are still vestiges of racism in relationships where people of color work for people who are white? Absolutely. Racism is absolutely still alive today. 

11. What did you think about Minny’s pie for Miss Holly? Would you have gone as far as Minny did for revenge? I wouldn’t have gone that far because gross. But, did Hilly deserve it? Absolutely. 

[bestaez]

Strangers (Chapter One)

Strangers from Hell AU

Series Masterlist

pairing: ot7 x reader

genre: yandere, horror/thriller

warnings: murder, mature themes, obsessive/possessive behavior, emotional manipulation, stalking, violence (will update as needed)

word count: 5k words

summary: You are finally moving out of your hometown and following your dreams of living in the big city. With an internship at a successful company and your friends living close by, you feel like things are finally working out. 

Sure, your apartment might not be the most glamorous and your new neighbors are a bit strange but that's normal for a first time living away from home, right? Everyone had warned you about how evil the world could be but it wasn't until you moved there that you started to understand how strangers could be a real hell.

You were finally doing it. Getting out of your hometown. It had been a long time coming as you were ready to move out as soon as you graduated but when your father fell ill shortly after, you couldn’t just abandon your mother to take care of him and your little brother all by herself, not to mention the family business that needed a new manager. So you stayed. You stayed until eventually death came for your father and then you stayed for when the depression hit your mother so hard she couldn’t get out of bed for days at a time. When you weren’t working, you were the one to make sure your kid brother finished his homework and ate all his meals. It was you that took care of your zombie-like mother until she came back to herself.

And now everyone was back on their feet and you felt like it was the right time to leave, especially because you had been accepted for an internship program in at a successful company that matched well with your college degree. Throughout your college years, you decided to stay living at home to help your family as well as save money. Your longtime boyfriend, Jihoon, had moved to the city a year ago after he graduated and you had been dating long distance ever since. But, you couldn’t waste any more time in your small hometown. This was your big chance and you weren’t going to miss it.

The sound of your mother’s voice calling your name could barely be heard over your suitcase rumbling down your driveway. You curse inwardly, scrunching your face up in annoyance at yet another obstacle stopping you from leaving. You were so close to freedom you could taste it.

Looking over your shoulder, you saw your mom carrying a bag of prepared meals that you surely couldn’t finish by yourself. You knew this was coming which was why you had tried to book it out of there. So much for that plan.

“Mom, I can’t carry all that,” you eye the large bag warily. You appreciate the sentiment but you were trying to be independent now and this wasn’t helping.

She ignored you and began making quick work to tie the bag to the handlebars of your suitcase so that you wouldn’t even need to hold it. Once finished, she stood back up and made a satisfied huff, “There!”

“What? I have to make sure my baby eats! You expect me to let you go hungry?” She exclaims in response to your deadpanned look.

“You have to let me find my own way now.”

“Of course but what’s a little help on the way?” She pulls you in for a tight hug. “Fine, fine. I’ll leave it alone now. Just enjoy this last meal. Pretty soon, you’ll be missing your mom’s cooking.”

You chuckle at that, abandoning holding your suitcase and hugging her back. You both stay there for a while in each other’s embrace, soaking up this last moment together. Feeling her shoulders begin to shake, you pull back to look at the tears forming in her eyes.

“Mom,” you whine, shoving her shoulder. “You promised you wouldn’t cry!”

“I’m not, I promise.” She lies, wiping her eyes quickly. “I’m just gonna miss you so much.”

“It’ll be okay, alright? You have to be strong now for Minjun.”

“I know,” she sniffs. “You don’t have to worry. It’s you I’m worried about. Promise me you’ll be extra careful out there. The world doesn’t deserve your kind heart.”

“I promise.” You hug her one more time before grabbing your suitcase again. Walking toward the gate, you don’t turn back around in fear that her sad face will stop you from leaving.

Before you know it, you’re on the bus and staring out the window as your hometown passes by in a blur. You expect to feel sad to be parting ways but find no melancholy in your heart, only peace. Settling in with your headphones, you brace yourself for the next couple hours it will take to get from the countryside to the city.

You check your phone to see a few new messages from Jihoon asking about when you arrive, as well as from Nayeon, your old friend who helped you land your new internship. You quickly reply to them both before looking up the residence you were moving to. It didn’t have a lot of reviews online but you had been in contact with the management through several emails and they had seemed friendly enough. Worst case scenario, you could just stay in a sauna until you found a suitable place to live. Lost in your train of thought, you startle when a voice near you suddenly speaks up.

“First time going to the city?” His question catches you off guard, causing him to laugh as he explains. “New-comers always have that hopeful look in their eyes. That’ll pass.”

“Ah, am I that obvious?” You laugh sheepishly. “This is my first time leaving home.”

“You’ll be fine. Just be careful and don’t trust any strangers. They can be a real hell.” His voice sounds far away as his gaze drifts across the bus. 

“Thank you.” You bite your lip, unsure of how to respond. “I have some friends there already so I won’t be alone at least.”

You two converse for a while and it makes the trip go faster. You even share some of the food your mother prepared for you which he was extremely grateful for but you were just trying to lighten your load. Before you know it, you start to see the city you’ve only seen in pictures come to life. Lots of big gray buildings, busy streets, and people walking around. Your heart thrums in excitement.

When the bus pulls into your stop, you say goodbye to the old man and begin to gather up your belongings. You’re too busy taking in your surroundings once you’ve stepped off the bus to notice the people bustling around you, including the large man who almost knocks you over and causes your phone to hit the ground in his haste. By the time you’ve recovered and picked it back up to inspect the damage, he’s already gone. You’re annoyed at the carelessness of this stranger but also at yourself for being too stunned to act in time.

You sigh as you look down at your newly-cracked phone screen. Not exactly the welcome you were expecting.

*****

You manage to type in the address of the residence you’ve arranged to move into without cutting your fingers. The place is about a ten minute walk from the bus stop but it feels much longer when you’re carrying all your luggage in this summer heat. You grit your teeth as you take in how many stairs you’re about to climb.

Hiking up another set of stairs and feeling ready to collapse, you almost miss the sign for the residence when you see it. You can’t help but notice how different it looked from the picture online, as if it had been many years since that picture was taken. ‘Eden Residence’ the sign read. It didn’t look super scary on the outside, just a bit dingier than you had been expecting. But you suppose that’s what life in the city is like so you try not to judge a book by its cover.

Once you go through those doors, it feels as if the air has shifted. It’s completely silent and you can only hear the sound of your own footsteps and heavy breathing which sets you off even more. You try to ignore it and climb the stairs to where you hope someone can help you get settled in.

Your prayers are answered when you spot a reception desk a few feet away. You walk up to the window, expecting to see someone inside but it’s empty. Leaning against the desk, you wave a hand by your face to cool off. It’s somewhat cooler inside but still a little muggy and your clothes are sticking to you from the sweat. You hope the manager doesn’t judge you too much for your appearance.

“YN?” A voice behind you startles you as you whirl around to see a man, probably not much older than you, with styled blonde hair looking at you curiously.

“Um, yes. Are you... Jimin?” You hoped that you remembered his name correctly, only having been in communication with the manager of the residence through email so far.

“Yes, that’s me! I’ve been expecting you.” He explains in a cheerful tone, smiling brightly at you. You’re not sure what to make of his friendliness but you figure it’s just his customer service personality. His eyes rake up and down your body so subtly you almost wonder if you imagined it.

“You must be exhausted from the trip! I’m sure the hot weather didn’t help either.” Stepping next to you, he reaches into the window to grab a keyring from somewhere. “Here, I’ll show you to your room.”

You follow him down the dimly-lit corridor to a door that’s not too far from where you were before. He unlocks the door and lets you step inside. It’s tiny, barely fitting a bed and a desk but there’s a little space to walk around. You suppose it’s not exactly lavish but you have to start somewhere, right? And it’s not like you’d be here forever. For right now, this was really the only place you could afford in the city.

“Cozy, right?” Jimin’s voice breaks you away from your thoughts as you look up at him smiling at you. “I can give you a tour whenever you finish getting settled in.”

You nod and join him in the hall again. “There used to be another floor for just the female tenants upstairs but unfortunately a fire destroyed most of the rooms and made it unlivable. We’re working on repairs but right now we’ve been forced to move all our tenants onto the same floor.” He explains and you can’t help but shift your gaze to the ceiling to see any signs of damage but don’t see anything in the low light. You wonder what could have caused a fire up there.  

“Thankfully, we’ve been able to fix the bathrooms up there so you won’t have to share with the men down here. I’ll show you the way up later.” You didn’t see anything about this online and almost wish they would have warned you when you contacted them at first but you figure you wouldn’t have had another choice anyway so you just nod and follow him into the next room.

“And here we have the kitchen!” It’s a decent size with all the basic appliances you could need. They look like they’ve seen better days but you’re not complaining. Off to the side is a bunch of tables for the tenants to dine at. Speaking of, there are currently two men sitting at one of the tables together. “Ah, YN, meet Taehyung and Jungkook - your new neighbors!”

One has a fluffy black mullet that hides his eyes somewhat while the other has a similar style although his hair is tied in a ponytail with parted bangs, revealing his big curious eyes. They seem to be very close as you note the large ramen bowl they’re sharing. You wonder if they could be brothers or perhaps a couple.

The one that has a ponytail gets up from his seat to greet you while the other one stays back and watches intensely. Now that he’s up close, you notice how young he looks with doe eyes and cute cheeks. Not wanting to make a bad impression on the first neighbor you’ve met, you flash him a friendly smile which he mirrors.

“I’m Jungkook,” he says and throws a thumb over his shoulder, pointing at the other guy. “That’s Taehyung. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you both. Are you-” 

“You!”

You’re interrupted by another person suddenly entering the kitchen and making themselves known. You turn to see a new person storming in and you’re relieved to finally see another woman. She looks to be in her mid-thirties, with black hair flowing down her back and a long, slender body.

She breezes past your little group and marches right up to where Taehyung is sitting. He looks at her with a bored expression, his hand holding his chin as he leans against the table. He doesn’t even react when she slams her hand against the table, bringing her face down to his eye level.

“I thought I told you not to go in my room. Do you want to die?!” Her tone is sharp and from where you stand, you can tell she’s pissed.

You glance over at Jimin, expecting him to seem shocked but he only seems mildly irritated as if this is a regular occurrence. You feel as if you’re in someone else’s house and witnessing a fight between siblings.

“Soomi, please calm down.” Jimin pleads as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “We have a new tenant here.”

“I don’t care, this fucker keeps messing with my stuff! I know it’s him.”

Jimin turns to you now, a forced pleasant look spreading across his features. “I’m sorry, I promise it’s not usually like this. Everyone here gets along most of the time.”

You’re not sure you believe him but he doesn’t give you time to respond as he walks over to where the other two are. He leans in and speaks to them in hushed tones, clearly trying to resolve whatever issue they have going on. You look up at Jungkook who is paying them no mind, instead staring at you with curious eyes like you’re the new kid in school.

“Do you like video games?”

“Um, not really.” You’re a little taken aback by the question but his expression quickly dropping causes you to amend your statement. “I mean- I’ve never played them before.”

His eyes light up again as he reaches out for your hand, squeezing it gently. “Do you want to play with me some time? I have tons of games in my room!”

“Sure, I guess?” You don’t know if you should really take him up on that offer seeing as you just met him but you don’t want to make a bad impression already. Besides, he seems to have a childlike quality to him which makes you think he’s probably harmless.

Before the conversation can continue, you notice Taehyung has pushed past Jimin and Soomi and walked over to where you stand. He gives you a once over and you do the same now that you’re both up close. No words are exchanged but you don’t know how to read the calculating look in his eyes. Once he’s done sizing you up, he grabs Jungkook’s arm and leads him out of the kitchen. You’re not sure what to make of his strange behavior but you make a note to be cautious of him.

“I’m afraid I have to go take care of some things but Soomi over here can give you the rest of the tour. If you need anything, feel free to stop by my office later!” Jimin explains before he, too, exits the kitchen.

You turn back around to see Soomi huffing out a sigh as she stares at the doorway with an annoyed look on her face. It’s not long before her attention shifts elsewhere and she begins sifting through the refrigerator looking for something. She’s not paying attention to you at all as she pulls out some leftovers and some chopsticks before sitting down. Figuring as she’s the only other woman you’ve seen here, you decide it’s best you get to know her. If anything, just to find out what the deal is with the other tenants.

“Hi, I’m YN.” You introduce yourself as you go to sit down in front of her.

“Soomi.” She barely glances up at you as she begins to shove food into her mouth not so gracefully.

A brief silence passes before you decide to press her, “Have you lived here long?”

“Just a month. Wish I could say it was shorter though.” She reveals while chewing through a mouthful of tofu. “I’m leaving in a few weeks once my next job starts.”

“Is it that bad here?”

“It’s tolerable if you just lay low. I try not to socialize with anyone else here because there’s something off about this place. You’ll see what I mean if you stay here long enough.”

“I’m starting to understand already.” You admit, looking towards the doorway cautiously as if those three might appear in it again.

“Yeah. Don’t trust anyone, even the ones that seem harmless.”

“Like Jungkook? He seemed... nice.” Sure, he acted a little strange but being so new here, you didn’t want to reject a friendship so quickly.

“Listen, I’m a little older than you and I’ve lived here longer so I think I know what I’m talking about when I say: everyone that lives here is fucked up somehow.”

You let her words sink in for a bit before you decide to press her for more information, “You seemed pretty upset with that guy before. You said he messed with your stuff?”

“I need to keep a camera in my room because I know he’s been going through my stuff. I don’t think he’s taken anything, he just moves shit around for no reason.”

“How do you know it was him?”

“I’ve seen him lingering by my door before when he thought no one was watching.” She huffs, roughly mixes some of her food together. “I swear he’s doing it just to fuck with me.”

You don’t say anything after that and neither does she. She clearly sounded very upset and thoroughly believed Taehyung was sneaking into her room but sadly had no proof. You wanted to believe her, but you felt like you were too new to understand the dynamics here or even whether any of these people were trustworthy. It was only your first day here and you were already caught up in some drama.

You check your phone to see a text from Jihoon, who was supposed to meet with you tonight to celebrate your first night here. 

sorry babe, I didn’t realize how exhausted I was and honestly think I’m gonna crash when I get home. can we raincheck?

You frown but try not to let your hurt feelings linger, knowing he works long hours and can’t expect him to drop everything for you. After responding to him quickly, you reach out to Nayeon who eagerly agrees to hang out tonight.

After she finishes eating, you wait for her to wash her dishes before getting up to follow her out of the kitchen. You’re surprised to see a new person standing in the hallway, coming from a door you already passed but you were sure had been closed previously. He’s about the same height as Jimin, with jet black hair that matches his dark eyes. His expression is blank as he watches you both. You glance down at his bare leg and notice a thick black band around his ankle.

“Hi.” You break the tense silence as you give a little wave. It’s as if he’s frozen as he doesn’t move or react at all, just stares.

Soomi doesn’t bat an eyelash at his weird behavior, instead bumping your shoulder to move you along. “Come on, I’ll show you upstairs.” You feel your body tense up for some reason as you get closer to this stranger, probably because of what Soomi said but also how he just stands there like a statue. Once up close, you notice that his features are actually cute and soft-looking, causing you to wonder if he really could cause any harm. You glance down and realize that the band on his leg is actually an ankle monitor. You try not to let your surprise show as you continue walking.

His gaze doesn’t leave you as you follow Soomi upstairs to where the women’s bathrooms are. She explained to you that you two are the only female tenants in the residence currently. There had been another older woman previously when Soomi first moved in but she left not too long after.

“So, how many other people live here then?” You ask after she exited the bathroom stall, the sound of a toilet flushing behind her.

“Six including the manager.” She washes her hands in the sink and you let your eyes wander around the state of the bathroom. It’s not too bad; in fact, because of the recent renovations, you’d say this part of the building is probably the most updated-looking room you’ve seen so far in the whole building.

“That one in the hallway is Yoongi,” She explains as he dries her hands off, meeting your eyes to give you a pointed look. “He’s never done anything to me but I don’t like the way he just stares at people like that.”

“I wonder if he’s just socially awkward.”

“You have a heart for people, it’s sweet. But that’s the first thing they will use against you.” You wonder if she’s just a cynical person or if her words have some truth to them.

The last stop on the tour is the roof, which Soomi admits has the best view of the city and you soon realize she’s right. You both stand near the edge looking out at the city lights getting a bit more obvious as the sun is starting to set in the horizon.

“Oh! I just remembered I’m supposed to meet my friends tonight.” You pull out your phone to see a missed call and a couple texts from Nayeon. She sent you the address of a restaurant not too far from here. “I should get going but thanks for the tour!”

She waves you off as you find the door leading to the staircase, leaving her there on the roof as she stares out at the city. You glance at her figure one more time and notice how put-together she looks as she lights a cigarette, hoping you will look like that in some time.

You’re too busy typing out a text to Nayeon as you descend the stairs to notice another figure standing there in the hallway. It’s not until you reach the bottom step do you look up and almost jump back in fright upon seeing a new person standing there so quiet and still.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He smiles at you gently. You blame your racing heart on the fact that he surprised you - it has nothing to do with his handsome features and tall build.

“It’s okay,” you stutter out once your mind comes back to you. “I should have been paying more attention.”

“You must be the new tenant.” You nod and he offers his hand for you to shake. His hand is warm as it firmly grasps yours for almost too long. “I’m Seokjin.”

“Y/N.” A beat of silence passes as he stares at you silently. You can’t explain it but his gaze unnerves you and makes you desperate to get away from it. Not to mention the fact that he’s not even saying anything, making you feel even more awkward.

“I was actually just on my way out to go meet a friend but it was nice meeting you.” You miss the way his face falls at the mention of your friend as you bow to him politely before making your way out of the building.

Sighing in relief to be out of that uncomfortable experience, you can’t help but feel like his gaze is still on you somehow. Turning back around from where you stand across the street now, you look and find that no one is there.

You shake your head as you continue down the street, scolding yourself for being so paranoid.

*****

The sound of your friend’s tinkling laughter and the alcohol running through your veins causes your body to feel warm. You’ve only had a few shots of soju and the grilled food you’re eating is helpful but you definitely don’t want to overdo it, especially on your first night here. The restaurant is a cozy spot, littered with lots of young people enjoying their night out just like you. You feel so liberated to finally be living an adult life.

“So do you like your new place?” Nayeon’s voice brings you out of your thoughts.

“Let’s just say, I don’t want to get too comfortable.” She frowns at your scrunched up face.

“Damn, it must be a real shack then?”

“Yeah, that and there’s some weird drama with the other tenants. The only other woman there practically attacked this one guy and then she told me not to talk to any of them because they were dangerous.”

“So it’s just you and her versus a bunch of guys? Sounds to me like she’s trying to keep them all to herself.” Nayeon smirks at you from behind her glass, her rosy cheeks squishing in that signature smile of hers.

“No way! She sounded really serious.” You shake your head, chuckling at her.

“I’m sure she was.” She wiggles her eyebrows at you. “How hot are they? Any dilfs?”

“Oh my god, is that all you think about?” Rolling your eyes at her antics, you check to see if anyone around you is listening.

“Hmm, avoiding the question. They must be spicy.”

“I hate you.” You burst out laughing, feeling looser as the alcohol continues to take affect.

*****

Spending time with Nayeon recharged you as you make your way back to the residence. Your mind is imagining how it will be working with her tomorrow as you ascend the stairs to the main hallway. It’s not that late but the floor is completely silent, everyone seemingly asleep or settled in for the night. The only thing you can hear is the quiet hum from the ceiling lights.

You try to tiptoe to your room in hopes not to wake anyone up when the sound of a door swinging open from the other end of the hall shocks you. Jungkook’s head pops out and a big grin spreads across his lips.

“Noona, you’re back!” He strides across the hallway in no time, bright eyes peering down at you. “Did you enjoy your night out?”

You open your mouth to respond but get cut off by another door opening, this time right by where you’re standing.

“God, let me get some sleep!” It’s Soomi. She looks just as pissed as before when you first saw her. Jungkook’s face falls as he cowers away like a kicked puppy. “And leave her alone, she doesn’t want to be your fucking friend.”

All of the sudden, more doors are opening and you step back as Taehyung storms past. He practically steps into Soomi’s room with how close he’s standing to her as he stares her down. You can’t see his face completely from where you stand but you can tell his gaze is venomous. For the first time, you see fear in Soomi’s eyes as she looks up at him.

“Don’t talk to him that way.” His deep voice is almost a whisper, but you hear him loud and clear. “Apologize right now.”

By her facial expressions, you can tell Soomi is debating her next move quite critically. She finally settles on standing her ground as she steps out of her room, causing her chest to almost press into Taehyung’s. Her glare is fierce as she shoves him.

“How many times do I have to tell you to stay the fuck out of my room?!”

You don’t even notice that Seokjin has also joined you until he swiftly blocks Soomi’s hand from smacking Taehyung in the face. His fingers grasp her wrist as he wedges his body in between the two. His voice is light and calm as he addresses them, “Calm down. Our new resident is here. You don’t want to scare her off, do you?” 

Taehyung smirks at the failed attempt to hit him, raising his eyebrows at her mockingly. This catches Seokjin’s attention, who then turns to scold him, “Stop teasing her, people will get the wrong idea.” Taehyung bows his head at this but you can’t tell if it’s from shame or just to hide his smug expression.

Soomi grunts as she fights to get her arm free but is no match against Seokjin’s strength. He pulls her to the other wall away from Taehyung. “Let go of me!” At this, Seokjin finally releases her and steps back to give her space. You glance over at Jungkook and notice his eyes are blown wide as he watches on. Over his shoulder, you see Yoongi has ventured out as well. His face bears no emotion as he watches the encounter closely. You wonder where Jimin is during all this commotion.

“We’re all neighbors here, aren’t we? Let’s just try to get along.” You’re amazed by his overall neutral demeanor despite the tense atmosphere. He could definitely be a hostage negotiator or something of that nature.

“Then tell our ‘neighbor’ to stop touching my stuff.” She spits, leaning against the wall.

“Did you see him go in there?” Seokjin turns his attention to Taehyung, not giving Soomi the chance to respond. “Taehyung, did you go in Soomi’s room?”

“Of course not. There’s nothing in there for me.” He crosses his arms against his chest and pokes his cheek with his tongue in an irritated manner. Seokjin seems placated by his answer but you can’t help but find his wording strange.

“Liar.” Her voice is dripping with venom and she looks like she wants to attack again but Seokjin throws his arm out in front of her to stop her from moving. She glares at each of them for a moment, before finally huffing out, “You’re all fucking crazy.”

She pushes Seokjin’s arm out of the way before storming back into her room and slamming the door shut behind her. You can only stand there in shock as each of them share a look you can’t decipher. Eventually, Seokjin turns to the others still standing in the hallway. “Alright, show’s over. Everyone, go back to sleep or whatever you were doing.”

You find it odd how they all seem to obey him without complaint but find yourself doing the same as you’re ready to pass out. Just as you’re reaching for your doorknob, you hear Seokjin speak up again.

“It’s not always like this here.” You look over your shoulder to see him giving you an apologetic smile. “I hope you weren’t too freaked out.”

“I’m fine but thank you.” You nod at him politely, inching closer to your door subconsciously. “I should probably get to bed because I have to get up early for my job.”

“Oh, you work?” His eyebrows raise in shock as he processes this. “You look so young, I thought you were a student.”

“Ah, no. I graduated a little while ago.”

A beat passes and you realize Seokjin is just staring at you. It doesn’t seem to be a threat or anything bad, but he just looks like he’s taking you in all of the sudden. His bright eyes are studying you with a small smile on his face and although it appears to be friendly, you feel uncomfortable as if you’re under a microscope. You hoped it was just your own paranoia but something about this guy gave you the creeps.

You clear your throat, finally breaking the silence. “Well, goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

*****

Shortly after returning to your room, you cursed to yourself as you realized you had to go back out to do your nightly routine. As much as you didn’t want to risk running into any of your roommates again so soon, you knew you couldn’t avoid them forever.

Thankfully, you were able to sneak upstairs completely undetected. But you still don’t waste any time as you brush your teeth and rinse off in the shower quickly. Before you know it, you’re changing into your pajamas and slipping into your tiny new bed. It’s not the most comfortable but you’re just relieved to be horizontal finally.

You let out a sigh as you open up your phone and scroll through your notifications. Checking your email, you see some instructions about your first day at the internship tomorrow before you feel your eyelids getting heavy. You make sure your alarms are all set to wake you up before you turn over to fall asleep.

Babe... are you sleeping?

A/N: hello! this is a little idea i’ve been toying with for a while now and thought it would be a fun first series to write on here. let me know what you think!!

also if anyone is good at making banners hmu bc i hate the one i made lmao

[yikimiki]

thinking so fucking hard about loser/stoner eren and popular/mean girl reader............ how she'll tease him and bully him at school but when they're fucking its always the opposite way around........ he has such a grip on her and shes so whipped for him that the pent up teasing just comes out during sex and he is just being so mean to her

This is a different au from the other loser eren asks — aiming more towards stoner!eren x popular!reader!! Also this got really long?? It’s a mix of headcanons and drabbles so hold on

warnings: smut, dirty talk, mean dom eren, rough sex, crying, creampie, multiple rounds, spanking, hair pulling, mentions of drugs (weed), degradation, use of “bitch”, “slut”, “whore”, “cocksleeve”, no prep, ass play, size kink, dumbification, mentions of spitting, dubcon (just to be sure)

No but imagine... Eren is this outcast, unbothered type of guy that doesn’t give a fuck about the social hierarchy of college or whatever. For some sick and twisted reason, you are particularly interested in him — there’s something about his baggy clothes, long hair under his cap/beanie and his “fuck everything” attitude that gets you going. But you can’t really show that you’re attracted to a complete loser like him, it would ruin your reputation, so you have to pretend as if you love teasing him, mocking him. Which, like, it’s totally funny.

It works for some time, until you are alone in a room with him. It happens in some weird college party that you almost didn’t go to, when you decide to take a break from dealing with your drunk friends and find shelter in a bedroom somewhere. It takes you some time to find one that it’s not locked or... being used, but eventually you open the door to find Eren, just scrolling through his phone with a blunt hanging from his lips. This time, considering it’s just you and him, you skip the provocations and ask him what he’s doing alone in there, you sit next to him in bed and listen as he complains about some friend that dragged him to that obnoxious party.

“I was just passing some time before I found an excuse to leave,” he says, locking his phone and putting it on the nightstand. The smell of weed is filling the stuffed air, and Eren takes another hit before putting his blunt out. “And what are you doing here? Got tired of ruining everyone’s night and decided to ruin mine?”

“It’s always more fun with you.” You smile, one hand landing on his shoulder. Eren tenses under your touch, bright green eyes trying to see if you’re just making fun of him again. Still, there’s something else burning at the bottom of your irises that he has never seen before, something that makes his stomach clench in anticipation. “Besides… now I have you all to myself.”

“What are you getting at?” He asks, but his voice sounds lower, eyebrows furrowed in doubt. You two are close, so much closer than ever before, and he can feel your gentle breathing on his lips when you lean closer. His heart picks up, and his hands are fighting to touch your body. “If this is some sort of prank, I swear—“

“It’s not a prank,” you whisper, looking down at his lips. Eren swallows dry — it’s funny: even after months of teasing, this is the clearer reaction you’ve ever received from him. “Can I kiss you?”

Eren has never heard you ask for anything — especially from him. It takes him some time to warm up to the idea (and to make sure you’re not just fucking with him again), his cock stirring awake in his baggy pants, before he gives you a curt nod. You smile, leaning in and joining your lips in a heated kiss.

And you swear you have the upper hand for some time. You sit on his lap, run your fingers through his hair and watch as he becomes pudding under your touches — just groaning and sighing against your lips as his rough hands squeeze your ass, making you grind your pussy down against his hard cock until you’re soaking through the fabric. But then something in the air suddenly switches and Eren is turning you around, trapping you beneath his large body as his lips eagerly move down to your neck, hands practically tearing your top open so he can suck on your tits.

You whimper and ask him to slow down, but he’s not really listening at this point — if you’re giving yourself to him, he’s going to make good use of his time. Especially when he thinks you should learn one thing or two about how to properly behave, about not always getting what you want, but what you deserve after teasing him for so long. All those months of pent-up frustration are getting to his head, turning into a power trip as he notices that he’s so much stronger than you, that he can do whatever he wants and you’ll just have to take it. And he’s gonna make sure you’ll take it all.

In no time, you’re completely naked, clothes mindlessly thrown around the room and Eren is looking at your body like he can eat you whole. He asks you to “Turn around,” as he takes off his own clothes, and your surprised at the eagerness in which you follow his command. You don’t know what’s going on with you — all those bitter comments you’d throw at him are now long gone, barely a ghost at the back of your mind when you feel him shuffle closer to you. Eren pulls your hips upwards, presses your face down against the mattress and spanks your ass so hard you swear you see stars.

“Eren!” You cry out, both from pleasure and surprise. “What are you—“

“Shut up.” His hands come down against your ass once more, making you whine. “You never fucking stop talking, such an annoying bitch.” Your skin burns as he lays down more hits against your ass cheeks, your hands helplessly holding onto the bedsheets. “This is what you wanted, uh? Wanted me to snap, to treat you like the needy whore you are.”

“Y-Yes,” you stutter. Your pussy is so aroused that you just feel yourself dripping down your thighs, the coldness of the air making you shiver. You never needed someone as much as you needed him. “Eren, fuck me,” you sob.

His large figure leans over you, one hand yanking your hair back as his face stops next to yours. You can feel his cock — huge, throbbing, heavy — in between your sensitive ass cheeks, and the notion that he’s about to stretch you out so wide makes you whine. “Didn’t fucking listen, why don’t you get some fucking manners and try again?”

“Please, Eren, f-fuck me,” you utter, arching your back against his cock. You never noticed how big and strong he is, but now that he’s towering over you, you have no choice but to feel yourself shrinking beneath him. “Please, please.”

He scoffs. “Needy bitch,” but he releases your hair and pushes your face down against the mattress, using his free hand to align himself with your dripping cunt. “Not so fucking chatty now, are you?” You barely have time to answer before he’s pressing his cockhead against your pussy, your hole fluttering around his length as he continues to push in. Eren is huge, definitely the biggest you’ve ever had, and the lack of prep only makes you feel the stretch even more. “Shit, look at this tight fucking cunt,” he breathes out. His hands are squeezing your ass so hard you just know it’ll be sore in the morning, but you don’t care. “Can’t believe you kept this from me for so fucking long.”

You have half the thought of apologizing, but you can’t do it when he bottoms out. By the time that his cock is fully inside you, you can barely utter out an incomprehensible string of “S-So huge, E-Eren— too much— fuck, so big, I can’t take it, I can’t...” before he’s moving his cock in and out of you.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” He asks, spanking your ass once again. The noise is so much louder this time, your moan following it shortly. “Fucking annoyed me for months just because you wanted to milk my cock like a desperate little whore,” he seethes, grabbing your ass forcefully as he drills into your soaking cunt. Eren is going hard and fast, so much so that you feel as if your brain is rattling inside your head, tits bouncing against the mattress as he continues his unforgiving pace. “Always knew you were a slut, I just didn’t know you’d be so fucking— shit — so fucking insufferable.”

“I’m s-sorry,” you whine, tears streaming down your face because of how good it all feels.

He scoffs. “Not yet. But you’ll be sorry.”

And boy how sorry you are. You had no idea that Eren would have that ridiculous amount of stamina, but you don’t even know how many times you’ve cum by the end of the night. Eren fucks you full of his cum again and again, spanking you and pulling your hair every time you misbehave and can’t keep it in like he tells you to — because “you’re such a dumb bitch, can’t even listen when you’re full of cock”.

He makes you cum on his fingers, on his cock, on his tongue, even makes you desperately grind against his thigh to get yourself off just because he likes how dumb you look. He fills every whole he can — spits in your mouth, fucks your throat, fingers your ass as he’s fucking you from the back and promises that next time it’ll be his cock. He’s just so mean, so revengeful of every time you annoyed him that he can’t be nice even if he tried. It’s just too good to have almighty little you turned into a stupid slut for his cock, crying and begging for him to fill you up one more time.

“Listen to me,” he hisses, making you turn your head to look at him. Your eyes are glazed over, barely able to find his with your orgasm building up again. “This is all you’re fucking good for,” he says, and his cock throbs inside you. Eren’s cum is seeping down your thighs, coating his length and making his slide easier as he continues to pound inside your abused cunt. “You’re made to be a cocksleeve, this pussy is made to take my cock. Do you understand?” You agree with a whiny yes. “Gonna stop fucking annoying me now? You can just ask and I’ll fuck you whenever you want, okay?” You nod, only half there, and for the first time that night he calls you “Good girl,” before stuffing you full of his cum again.”

Anyways???? Idk what came over me but yeah. Popular girl reader that is a complete slut for loser eren when theyre fucking. I rest my case.

[bokutosmochi]

general iwaizumi headcannons

what's it? general sugar level? 0.7k allergen warning/s? brief mentions of harassment regulars? @hanayanetwork​

♧ one of those people who dress well without putting any effort at all. it's either that or he just looks good in everything, it doesn't really matter as both of those options are totally unfair.

♧ always smells good. this man could spent the last two hours exercising, have sweat pouring from his pores and still smell nice.

♧ has tried to learn the guitar at one point, but volleyball took up too much of his time, and now university's taking it up. still, he's learned a few songs and he has a guitar hanging in his room

♧ doesn't like carrying bags if it's not sport/athletics-related. if he needs to bring other things that aren't his keys, wallet, and cellphone, he'll just stuff it inside his pockets. it absolutely looks bad and bulky - is that a notepad in your pants or are you just happy to see me? - but he literally cannot give a single shit.

♧ the sweetest guy ever. will stand up for someone he sees that's getting harassed in the streets even if he doesn't know them, would cross the street if there's a woman he might be making uncomfortable, would pretend to be a stranger's boyfriend if some douchebag's not taking no for an answer.

♧ gossip is his guilty pleasure, mostly because of oikawa marites amp. one minute he's scoffing at people gossiping to themselves, the next, he's attentively listening to oikawa spill the tea.

♧ has a very asmr voice. it's deep and raspy and absolutely perfect!! sometimes he'll talk to someone and they'll shiver -- not because of intimidation or attraction, but simply because his voice triggering their asmr. especially if he's whispering to someone. or if it's his sleepy voice!!

♧ he doesn't really have a playlist. all the songs he likes are blended into one playlist and whenever wants to listen to something while studying, he just clicks on one of those 24/7 copyright free lo-fi music on youtube. the one and only playlist he has is the one he listens to when he's in the gym. that's literally it.

♧ ... really missed oikawa when he first went to california. he missed his sarcastic-sounding compliments directed to the people around them, he missed having to fish him from a group of fangirls, he missed his best friend. the person who's been by his side since they were children. iwaizumi was usually the one to initiate the facetimes and texts, hiding it under some lame excuse like wanting to make sure he wasn't dead yet.

♧ during his college days, he attracted so many girls from his university and even other nearby campuses (is anyone surprised?). they'd all invite him to house parties, only for him to politely decline their offer. though he did not pursue volleyball as a professional career, leaving his days as an ace behind, he still had a burning desire to be the best and that isn't going to happen if he spends his days partying and getting drunk.

♧ has his own signature scent that he's had since high school, maybe even middle school. he hasn't changed it because he's too lazy to do so - why would he fix something that's not broken? - and also because he likes how people associate him with a certain scent. he kind of finds it cute.

♧ absolutely not one of those maniacs that lets their phone battery hit single digits -- not if he could help it. he always charges his phone once it hits the thirties and always brings a spare charger with him if he's going somewhere.

♧ he's always ready for anything. and by that i mean he always has ballpens in his pocket, bandaids, a protein bar, anything that he may need through the day, really.

♧ his usual way of unwinding after a hard day's work is really just laying in bed, watching godzilla. obviously, if someone were to run him a bubble bath or something of the likes, he's not going to complain, but sometimes just he just thinks it's too much effort. he'd rather have a short, thorough shower than hear straight to bed.

♧ honestly has a hard time making friends. he's so focused on his studies, cooped up in his stuffy dorm room that he didn't really get the time to do so, then people who did want to befriend him were a tad bit too intimidated by his strong stature to actually come up to him and strike up a conversation. we all know he wouldn't hurt a fly though.

i get: reblog

you get: green curtains

do we have a deal?

[uwu-co-in]

https://oceans-apart.co.in

Synopsis: Bored out of your mind, you sign up on this random dating-cum-finding online friends site named "Oceans Apart", which lets you find people, based on the answers you fill up in the provided questionnaire. The major red flag about the app is you cannot post or see photo or video-content, but it let's you have an audio connection once you have talked for a certain time with the one you've matched. You throw all red flags down the drain when you get matched with a certain someone with the username @/iris.eyes, and an inexplicable feeling to give him your all overtakes you. How far are you willing to take this?

Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader (College AU with no quirks)

Contents/warning: aged-up characters, Hitoshi is a year older than reader, female anatomy of reader is implied, mentions of sex, cursing, masturbation

Word count: 2.3k

~ MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT ~

"Oh, I'm so done with this!" you flipped the book shut, slumping back on the chair. The semester exams were in a week, and all you had been doing was studying for it since the past two months.

"Y/N, you cannot give up now!" Ochaco spoke up, slightly concerned. "You had worked so hard for the exams!"

"Oh, all she needs is some distraction to un-fuck her mind, you know," Mina quipped, taking out yet another joint from her cigarette case. "Would you want one?" she offered it to you. You contemplated for a while, chewing your lower lip before shaking your head a no.

"Suit yourself then. See ya later," Mina skipped back to the balcony of your shared rented apartment. You sighed. If you were being completely honest, you wanted to try smoking one. Let's wait for that till the exams end, you thought, before picking up your phone, hoping to unwind before starting to cram again.

As you scrolled down your Instagram, an advertisement caught your eye. Oceans Apart, the title reads, and as you browsed through it's contents, you realised it's one of those 'people-connecting' sites where one can date or find friends from anywhere around the world. You clicked on it, slightly inquisitive. It's not like I am in a relationship or some, you thought, as the welcome page glowed on your screen. Moreover you were inquisitive about how the app would actually work, especially since it says there will be no photo or video content.

"This is a mistake," you grumbled out aloud, sitting on your bed, hunched upon your phone's screen. It had been fifteen minutes since you've been setting up your profile in the app, after dinner, and it's not yet complete. Not your fault that the app had to have the most thought-provoking questions. It would've been a lot interesting if you didn't want to jumpstart already.

First, the username. Something that reflects me, you thought, as you set it to '@/weird.shit'. "So unoriginal," you scoffed to yourself, before continuing to answer the questions. Finally when you were done, you had let out a sigh of relief. You spent a few more minutes scrolling through the suggestions, swiping right to a few after reading their bios. When you felt the sleep finally hitting you, switching off the phone, you kept it upon the nightstand. Probably will be bored of this thing by tomorrow, you thought before drifting to sleep.

"Holy shit, show me your profile! I'll make one too; the concept's so dope!" Mina squealed upon hearing about this unusual app the next morning, as all of you sat together around the common study table for the coffee. You passed your phone to her, warning her jokingly not to change anything, as she browsed through your profile. "This app; it is a big red flag," you continue, while drinking your coffee. "Yes, the concept's unique and shit, but it leaves so much room for frauds."

"Y/NNNN! You got three matches and two requests, didn't you even check or some?" Mina shoved the phone back to your face. "Did you even hear what I said just now, Mina?" You laughed, as you saw her wink in your direction, before sprinting to the kitchen to add more sugar in her cup. This woman has too much energy at this ungodly hour of the morning, you chuckled to yourself.

You looked at your matches, and felt a sudden wave of disinterest washed over you. Nights do that to you, make you lose of all rational thoughts. You decided to not text either of them, as you looked at the two requests you got. Still disinterested, you deleted them, as Ochaco looked at you from the rim of her cup while drinking the coffee.

"So, um, you want to date?" she timidly asked, and you sighed. "I don't know, just seeing where this takes me," and she nodded understandably. "Yeah, yeah. You'll do fine, trust me," she looked at you, straight in the eyes. "In everything. You'll do great."

It was almost mid-day, when a notification popped up from the app. You looked up from your book, and clicked open your phone which showed that you've been matched with someone again. You clicked it, as it took you to their profile page.

@/iris.eyes. Hmm, only a year older than you.

"He/him, pissed off. Psych major, last year. Cat person. Do you like peonies? I fucken love them"

How much can I person like a flower to incorporate it in their bio, you snorted a bit amused. You decided to drop in a text, asking something about peonies. Moments later, he texted back, with a link, geeking about the flower. You smiled, almost interested in this person. Another weird shit like me maybe, you thought to yourself.

By the evening, you guys had talked about stuff, and mutually decided to not give up names. Not just yet. You had told each other about regular stuff, your favourite artists, known about each other's majors, and were just delving into the subject of past relationships. Mina and Uraraka saw in surprised amusement and slight horror, respectively, as you gobbled down your dinner, and rushed to your room, wanting to keep chatting with this person.

"Go girllll!" Mina cheered you on, as you hurriedly washed your hands, tossing a big, cheesy grin in her direction. Ochaco looked at you, and asked Mina, "do you think it'll be alright?" Mina laughed it off, saying, "Uh Ocha, chill. It'll be alright. Now you tell me, how's your and Midoriya's ship coming along?" Ochako sputtered, trying to completely evade the question, and spared a glance at your figure closing the door of your room. She hoped you'd be alright.

You flopped on your bed after shutting off the lights, absolutely engrossed in chatting with the peony guy. You both had been at it, since the afternoon, and something was blossoming within you. You actually started feeling giddy at the thought that some day, you'd be able to meet him. While your usual composed self was never obsessed with people in such rushed manner, there was an aura to 'iris eyes' that you could not place a finger upon, but could feel yourself slowly immersing into it.

@/iris.eyes: what was your previous partner like?

@/weird.shit: so and so. nice but fucked up real bad later. what about you?

@/iris.eyes: never had one. gave up on finding one irl

@/weird.shit: huh, you didn't even try i bet. are your eyes really violet?

@/iris.eyes: yeah

@/weird.shit: and you're telling me you didn't have any luck with women and men alike? Huh

A soft ding interrupted your texting as you peered into your screen. You were now eligible for voice calls.

@/iris.eyes: do you wanna talk in a call

You looked at the message, gears churning in thought. Is this moving on too fast? Why are you feeling so attached already? You typed a 'yeah', almost afraid of what your actions would bring you to. As soon as he read it, your phone started to buzz, indicating a call. You timidly pressed accept, and gingerly placed it on your ear.

"Hello," a deep voice greeted you from the other side. The voice. You got a sudden rush throughout your body, as your face suddenly felt very warm. "Hello there," you squeaked out, in return. "Hey, um, so let's continue on where we stopped, yeah?" He asked, his loud voice almost boring a hole in your mind. After you managed a "yes, please continue", he started talking something about his high school when he tried to date a girl, but your head was swimming somewhere else. Initially you placed a few 'hmm's and 'yeah's and 'really's tactfully, but as he spoke, you could feeling yourself warming up. His gravelly voice seemed so close to you, as he talked on the phone, and you left out a small sigh, imagining what he could look like. Maybe a tall-ish guy, black nail polish, and soft kisses. Veiny hands, with rough palms, his voice was hypnotic. Even before you knew it, your hand was skimming on your stomach lightly, as you closed your eyes shut, imagining it to be his touch.

His voice worked like such a charm, as your fingers brushed over your clothed pussy, a feeling of excitement coursing through your body. Your hand grabbed your thigh, slowly parting your legs, and you imagined him kissing your plush thighs, mumbling on your skin words you can get drunk upon. He was still speaking something about the dating incident, and although you wanted so hard to concentrate on his words, all you could do was revel in the way he sounded, and your hand dipped underneath your panties, fingers touching the already sensitive clit. You were so wet, and as you slowly fingered yourself, the squelch of the wetness seemed to echo in your otherwise silent room. It was uncanny on how this guy had you wrapped around his finger, without giving up an iota of his identity. You let out another soft whimper, almost forgetting that he was still on line.

"and then, I did say... Hey. Hey there." His sudden calling you out broke you out of your trance as you snatched out your pants, and hurried to reply.

"Yeah, yes, I'm here. I'm sorry, I'm listening," you apologised, almost stumbling over your words, face flushing ever warmer. This is so embarrassing, not to mention, creepy.

There was a moment of silence, before he asked, "Were you... touching yourself?" You could feel your heart thump against your cheek where you held the phone. Your silence only spoke volumes. He did not really sound offended, did he?

"Were you touching yourself? Tell me, kitten. I heard your whimper, you know." Was it you or did his voice seemed to turned even heavier as he drawled on the pet name?

"Ye-yes," your voice shook, hands slowly sneaking inside your pants, and fingers ghosting upon the raw clit with an almost non-existent touch.

"Does my voice turn you on?" you could hear sheets shifting from his side, and it only worked to quell your embarrassment into arousal even more.

"Yes, it does," it were the only full words you had spoken during the entire call, till now.

"Good kitten, keep doing then," he cooed, his voice urging you to continue your actions. "But," he continued, "don't you need a name to moan out?" You let out a small sigh at that. "I, for one, would love to hear my name in that pretty voice of yours," he spoke, clearly with relishing the moment.

"Yes, yes, your name, oh God, your-"

"Hitoshi. Hitoshi Shinsou. What's yours, love?"

"Y-Y/N S/N. Oh, Hitoshi," you moaned out, plunging a finger into your pussy. The sounds somehow sounded even more crude now, that you knew his name. Hitoshi. Seems like a name made for you to chant like a prayer every night. A sane part of you was screaming that you just started texting this guy, and yet, your body was hearing none of it. You could only pay attention to the small grunts from the other side, as he groaned your name.

"Oh kitty, you're doing so great. Fuck yourself nice, I'll make you feel so much better when we meet, I promise," Hitoshi grunted, very apparent that he was pleasuring himself too.

"Hi-hitoshi," you took a sharp intake of breath, the motion of your hands growing even impatient, as you tried to imagine his hands grabbing your breasts and squeezing your waist. Your wrist was paining from pleasuring yourself for so long, but all you could focus on was his voice urging you to keep doing it, on how he'd fuck you hard and slow, drawing out every delicious moan your pretty little mouth could ever make. Your body shivered in anticipation as you could feel your high very near.

"Ohh, 'Toshi, I'm close!" You gasped, as your fingers moved in and out of your clenching walls. You licked your lips, closing your eyes as you rubbed your fingers against the walls of your pussy, not quite reaching the G-spot, but having you jerk your legs due to the building please.

"Cum for me." There was no pet name, no cooing, just a pure, powerful command of wanting to make you come undone. And you did; back arching and toes curling in pressure and you continued rubbing your clit to overstimulate yourself and draw on the moment. You couldn't help the moans that came out of you incessantly and for the moment, you forgot that you shared the apartment with two other people. You could hear his grunts, along with your sharp breaths, as you felt your heartbeat slowly calm down. He groaned for a few more moments, a pure treat to your eyes as you listened to him grow even louder, indicating that he had finally cum, before falling silent, with only the sounds of breathing in the background. As the dopamine ceased, you felt this irrepressible urge to curl up to a warm body beside you.

"Wish you were here," you sighed, even before you could process what you were saying.

"Oh Y/N, same," he sighed, clearly content. "I want to kiss you so bad. Can we talk for a few more minutes before we log off?"

"Yes, I would love it," you replied, as you bit your lower lip, reveling in the feeling of your high, a smile forming on your lips.

"Yeah, I want to see if you'd be up for a round two, in a little while," he chuckled good-naturedly, as you let out a small laugh along with him, instantly feeling your pussy clench. Oh, what was becoming of you?

Oceans Apart wasn't that bad after all.

~~~~~~

part two

[libraryofloveletters]

Just A Phase

Evan Buckley x Reader 

Warnings: fem!reader, typical high school nonsense, kinda rude behaviour at first meet, mentions of weed/alcohol and the consumption of, typical cocky jock behaviour, few swear words, being tipsy/drunk

Category: fluff and a little angst 

Word Count: 5.4k

Author’s Note: I just started writing and this is where I ended up so yeah also I feel like I haven’t written in a million years, forgive me if this is shitty // I referred to Buck as Evan for the first little bit because he and the reader had been introduced yet. // thank you to my darling @floralbuckleys for their help!

----

Senior Year Of High School. 

 Evan Buckley, certified jock and bad boy. 

He was the type of guy that only had a soft spot for you, but you didn’t know that yet. Truthfully he wasn’t a mean guy - people just perceived him that way because he was on the football team and popular. He had somewhat of a troublesome reputation.

People knew where he went, trouble followed. 

You, on the other hand, came from a somewhat above average family. Your mom’s a nurse and dad’s a lawyer. They always had big hopes and dreams for you, for you to go off to Harvard in the fall and follow in your father’s footsteps but you didn’t want that. 

You dreamt of being a writer - you couldn't bring yourself to tell your parents that. Since you were young, they had instilled “you’re going to go to Harvard” in you. 

You couldn’t back out now. 

See, high school worked a certain way. You kept to your circles and didn’t mingle with those that didn’t fit into your circle. You and Evan didn’t run in the same circle - he was a troublesome jock and you were a smart preppy girl. 

Being the preppy kid meant volunteering where you could to bulk up your college application hence why you were at school on a Friday afternoon, waiting for the kids to show up. You were part of some tutor program that your chemistry teacher put you into. 

It was mostly just kids that needed some clarification on their work and the occasional jock that needed to pass a course to stay on the team.

You weren't surprised when a group of noisy jocks stumbled in the study hall, reeking of sweat from practice.  

You were surprised to see Evan, he hadn't been in there before. 

“Settle down boys” Mrs. Jacobs told them before sending each guy off to a tutor, leaving Evan standing beside her. “You can head over to y/n” she pointed at you, you gave him a small smile when you glanced up. He looked unpleasant, like he didn’t want to be there. 

He made his way over nonetheless. “Good afternoon” you say quietly, unsure if he heard you. He grumbles a hello as he sits down. 

The first few minutes, it was quiet. He sat there flipping through his textbook and scribbling down answers into the notebook in front of him. 

“Is there anything I can help you-” “I'm not stupid.” 

You glance at him, eyes catching his blue ones looking back at you. “I never said you were.” 

“I'm only here because I didn’t turn in my mid term project and now stupid Mr. Jefferson thinks I don't understand this shit” he explains himself. 

You hum, glancing down at the notebook in front of him, pulling it towards you. Reading over the sheet, all the answers were right. A hum of satisfaction slips pass your lips as you slide the notebook back over to him. 

“Not just another dumb jock then.” your eyes study his face after the statement. His lips curl into a small smile, a hum as he turns his attention back to his paper. 

“So prep life must be dull - no parties, all study.” 

“Who says prep kids don't party ?” 

He chuckles, “maybe the lack of prep kids at the parties.” “I’ll have you know, I party plenty, Evan.” 

Once again, he chuckles. “The phrasing of that statement shows that you clearly don’t- but call me Buck, all the guys do.” he slides the notebook over to you. 

“Check this over, I'll be back” you watched as he stepped out of the study hall and disappeared into the hallway. 

A few minutes pass by, you’re tired and in need of a nap but you blink away the tiredness to read his work. There’s a voice behind you and then you feel something heavy on your chair. Leaning back to figure out what it was, the back of your head hit something hard. You shift in your seat and look up to see your head has hit Buck’s torso. 

“How's the work, peach ?” his voice is low, the drop in octave from before causes butterflies in your stomach. 

Your brows furrow at the nickname, he noticed your confusion and glances down at your top and your eyes follow his only to see that your peach colour bra was sticking out from the top of your shirt. 

You had stretched back into your seat when he stepped out and you hadn't noticed the shift in your clothing.

Pulling the top of your shirt back up, he smiles and returns to his seat. You clear your throat, head down and eyes on the work in front of you as you could feel the blush on your face. 

“Um, the work is fine.” 

“Do you have plans tonight ?” 

“No, why?” 

“Come with me to Johnson’s party, you can show me how prep kids party” he smiles, his words are teasing you- taunting you even. “I would, but my parents are out of town so I don’t have the car and I have to watch the house.” 

“The house won’t disappear if you’re gone for a few hours and I'll pick you up then. What’s your address ?” 

“Buck, I really shouldn't” 

“Y/n, come on. Pull the stick out your ass for one night and enjoy senior year. You can go back to Harvard prep tomorrow.” 

His word choice doesn't shock you, it’s quite on brand for him. He’s looking at you, waiting for your answer and you can't help but give in.

Taking the pen from him, you scribble your address and number on his notebook. “See you at 7?” picking your bag up before slinging it over your shoulder. 

“7? Peach, the party doesn’t start ‘till 9. I’ll pick you up at 10:30.” 

“Oh um- okay.” you hum, confused but you agree anyways. 

--- 

10:45 and you were sitting on your couch, glancing at your phone and back to the window. 

You had been stood up once before but to be stood up by a jock, and a popular one ? Will be the death of any social life you had. 

Finally there’s a knock on your door and you get up a little faster than you would have liked but you make your way over. Pulling it open, you met with Buck. 

“Ready ?” 

“Sure, let me grab my phone” you leave the door open, stepping back to the couch. Buck had disappeared from the doorway when you returned, you locked up and followed what looked like headlights to the driveway. 

Buck sat on his bike, he scoots forwards a bit before patting the space behind him. 

“No.” you mumble. 

“What ?” 

“I’m not getting on that thing.” 

“That thing ? I'm offended. Come on, you’ll be fine.” 

“Evan, no.” 

Buck gets up, making his way over to you. His hands grab yours, looking at you now. “Y/n, I promise you that you’ll be fine. Can we go now ?” 

“I’ll kill you if something happens to you” you grumbled as you reluctantly made your way over to the bike. Buck gets on first, you mirror his actions. Your hands were to your side, Buck reached back and wrapped them around his waist. 

“You good back there ?” 

“As good as I could be.”

-- 

The house, who you assumed belonged to Johnson’s parents, (you had no idea who Johnson was because you barely ever went to the football games) reeked of alcohol and weed. 

Your face didn’t hide your displeasure as well as you thought it had. Buck chuckled as he slung his arm over your shoulder. 

“So is this what you do ?” you shout over the loud music, Buck was saying hello to someone he knew and wasn't paying attention to what you had asked him. 

You manage to wiggle your way out of his grip and find your way to the kitchen. It’s a few minutes later that Buck finds you sipping on a beer. 

“You drink ?” he gives you a questionable look with a smile on his face. 

“You brought me to a party so I'll do what people do at a party” you hum, leaning back against the counter. He finds his way to you, leaning back against the counter too. 

“Enjoying the party ?” 

“Not really, you kinda left me to talk to some guy for twenty minutes” 

“That guy happens to be our star quarterback.” 

“I care why?” you glance up at him. Buck’s face is pure amusement, you aren't sure if you’re the cause of that or something else but the way he's looking at you- you can feel the butterflies again. 

“Buck!” a group of guys shout as they make their way into the kitchen. They all say hello to him, some are drinking, some are shoving chips into their mouths. 

You stay quiet while Buck talks to them and judging by their varsity jackets, it was safe to assume that they were on the team with Buck. 

“Who’s your friend ?” a brunette guy asks him, stepping towards you. 

“I’m y/n, you are?” you ask before Buck could. 

“Mike, call me Johnson.” 

“Oh, so this is your place ? Cute house” you give him a smile, he laughs. 

“How do you know Buck?” Johnson asks, he was nosy for a drunk guy. 

“Just bumped into each other, we have class together” you lie, not sure if Buck wanted them to know how you really met, Buck gives you a small smile. 

“You’re pretty, how about a dance ?” his hand grabs yours. 

“Thanks but no thanks” you give a polite smile before pulling your hand away. 

Johnson takes a step forward, his hand reaching out and grabbing your hip. “C’mon, dance with me” you could smell the alcohol on him- he reeked. You push his hand off, “I said no thank you” you tell him once more, being ever so polite. 

“Y/n, c’mon, one dance baby” he takes another step, he’s now face to face with you. Before you could say anything, Buck is in front of you, between you and Johnson. 

“Dude, she said no. Leave her alone.” 

Buck’s sudden need to protect you was much appreciated. Usually if a guy did that, especially a jock, you’d be weird out because they never pay attention to you- but Buck, you had this indescribable feeling, pride, satisfaction, maybe even relief ? 

“She’s not even your girl, why are you protecting her?” 

“Doesn’t matter, she said no so get out of her fucking face.” Buck’s hand was against his chest, pushing him away as his other hand reached back for yours. It would be cheesy to say that your hand fit in his like it was made to be there but it was true. 

Buck’s hand was still in yours as he pulled you out the back door. Your back was up against the wall as he stood in front of you. 

“Are you okay ?” you could hear the concern in his voice - different from his usual tone. 

At a loss for words, his eyes study your face. Johnson was a douche and he knew that, he mentally cursed himself for even bringing you here. 

“Y/n.. talk to me” he takes a step towards you. 

“Buck,” your hand presses against his chest, “I'm fine. It’s not the first time a drunk guy has hit on me” 

A breath of relief slipped past his lips, “do you want to leave?” his face softens when he asks. “No, I'm alright.” 

“Stay here, I'll be back” his hand comes down and squeezes your waist gently before he steps back into the house. 

--

It was a while before Buck returned. He had disappeared into the house for half an hour and when he returned, you were by the pool with a pingpong ball in hand. 

“Suck it!” your loud laugh filled his ears, you took a sip from the red cup in your hand and you watched as the guy across from you drank the beer in the cup that the ball landed in. 

“Looks like you’re having fun” Buck smiles, now beside you. 

“Hey!” you reeked of beer at this point. “I’m having fun” your words come out in a slurred mumble. 

“Mhm okay, I think it’s time to head home” Buck takes the cup from you and sets it down. 

“What ?” Your hand reaches for the cup again, a pout evident on your face.

Buck’s hands finds your waist, hoisting you up and over his shoulder. A louder than expected gasp left your mouth, you felt the cold breeze against your legs as he walked towards the front of the yard. 

He put you down in the backseat of a car but you knew you came with his bike so you were confused, just as you go to ask, he scoots you over and gets in the back with you. Buck’s arm is over your shoulder, you’re so tired that you just lean into him. 

-- 

You had noticed you fell asleep and when you woke, you were on the porch swing at your house with Buck’s hand in your pocket. 

“Whatcha looking for?” he glances up at you when he hears your voice. 

“Keys.” 

“Other pocket” 

He manages to find the keys and get the door open. Getting you in the house was another story. “Y/n, come on” he pulls your hands in an attempt to get you up but you weren’t budging. 

What happened to you being a prep kid and not drinking ? He didn’t even think it was possible to get drunk that fast. 

“No, tired” you mumbles, making yourself comfortable on the porch swing. “Do you want your parents to come home and find you here? I’m cool with leaving you here if that’s the case” Buck teased, he had no idea when your parents were coming home. 

The mention of your parents finding you outside, drunk, horrified you. You got up so quick, you nearly toppled over. Buck helped you inside and onto the couch. He disappeared for a moment and then returned with a glass of water. 

“Small sips” he settles beside you, watching as you take a sip. You hum, resting your head on his shoulder as his arm comes over your shoulder. 

“Buck?” 

“Yeah?” 

He felt your head shift, now looking up at him, eyes full of sleep. You were studying his face, from the birthmark above his eye to his pink lips.

“I really like you, you know” your words filled with sleep as your eyes drooped, you blinked a few times, forcing yourself to stay awake.

Buck chuckles, “that’ll pass peach, I’m just a phase.” He hummed quietly, fingers running through your hair as you drift to sleep. 

--

The Monday after the party, you saw Buck in the hallway after waking up to an empty house on the couch, head pounding even in the deafening silence and and you can’t quite remember how you got home. 

Buck had been radio silence since then but you weren't sure why. He was walking in from the front doors and you were by your locker. You turn to speak to him but he barely glances at you before continuing his conversation with Johnson. 

From that day, you never spoke to Buck again. Last you saw him was graduation day and last you had heard was that he was in college and you were headed off to Harvard. 

----

Present.

You had become a big shot lawyer, everything your parents wanted. Moved out to LA to start your own firm and everything was going well until this morning. 

You had barely walked into the office when the fire alarm went off. The sudden alarm caused an onset of commotion in the office, the woman next to you bumped into you, spilling your hot cup of coffee onto you. 

She mumbled a sorry as she passed but you could feel the heat coming from where the liquid had spilt. Nonetheless, you made your way out, the sound of the sirens from fire trucks blaring. 

Not that you didn’t enjoy seeing the handsome firefighters (or so your co-workers seem to say) but you had a ton of paperwork to do for an upcoming case you had and you barely started. 

You stood by the curb, watching as the firefighters made their way over to the crowd and into the building to clear it. 

“Ma'am ?” A firefighter made his way over to you, there was a helmet in his hand as he passed a hand through his hair. You glance up from your phone, to see what he wanted. 

“May I take a look?” his eyes shifted to your chest where there is currently a coffee stain on your white shirt. “Oh, thank you but no. I’m fine” 

“Are you sure? Because that’ll leave a pretty nasty mark if you don't get it cleaned. If you aren’t comfortable, we have a female medic” he offered, hoping you’d consider. 

“You’re a medic ?” you asked, looking him up and down. He nods, taking a step back. He begins walking back to the ambulance and you follow him. “Do you want me to get her?” 

“No, you’re a professional, it’s cool” you give him a small smile before moving your shirt so he could check. 

The firefighter’s hand was now right under your collarbone, dabbing at your skin with some gauze. His fingers were cold, you weren’t sure if it was actually his fingers or the gloves that were cold but either way you looked at him. 

“What’s your name ?” 

“Diaz, Eddie Diaz” he tells you, flashing you a smile before going back to his job. 

You hum, staying still as Eddie rubs something on your skin. 

That’s when you saw him. 

The same blue eyes, the same blonde hair, the same gorgeous smile that always played in your mind. Not a day went by that you didn’t think of him. You had always wondered what he ended up doing, he was smart and destined for great things, there was more for him than a small life in a place where no one ever really did anything. 

Every guy you had dated, you compared to him. It was always something- they didn’t look like him, they didn’t act like him, they didn’t treat you the way he did, they wouldn't stand up for you like he did. 

He lived rent free in your mind. 

“Ma'am?” Eddie’s voice broke your gaze. “Y/n,” you corrected him, “ma’am is for old women” your eyes going back to Buck. Eddie noticed your lack of attention and followed your gaze. 

“Do you know Buck?” 

“He still lets people call him that ?” you chuckle to yourself, feeling Eddie’s eyes burning a hole into you. 

Before you could answer, his radio buzzed before a voice came through, “building’s clear. Start directing people back in.” Eddie looks over at you, you’re already getting out of the ambulance. 

“Keep that clean and dry” were his last words to you after you left. 

--- 

It wasn’t until you were back in the building that you realized your phone was in the ambulance. 

You were majorly screwed. 

Remembering the medic’s name which was the only thing you remember mids the confusion and seeing Buck after 10+ years. You asked around the office if anyone knew what station responded to the call. You had contacts that worked for the city but the lack of phone made it hard for you to call and find out. 

Finally giving in, you google the medic’s name. There were a few articles that had photos but none of them said anything that helped. There was a video from Taylor Kelly at channel 8 news, some sort of video about the fire station. 

Station 118- that was 10 minutes down the road and you pass it everyday on the way to work. The thoughts began filling your head, had Buck been there all along? 

12 years- 12 long, empty years that you acted like he didn’t exist and that you didn’t want to know what happened between you two but he was right down the road. 

You didn’t even know if you wanted to talk to him. You had finally come to peace with it even though a part of you will always long for what could have been. Feelings aside, you set out to the station to get your phone. 

Upon arriving, there were a few guys by the trucks. You asked for Eddie, assuming that he might have an idea of where your phone ended up or if they even found it. 

“Up the stairs and he should be somewhere up there” the guy pointed, you thanked him before heading towards the stairs. When you got upstairs, it was empty. 

You weren't sure if you should go back down or wait so you sort of awkwardly stood there, glancing around the room. The station was nicer than you had imagined it to be, not that you really had an idea of what to expect. 

Your back was to the kitchen when someone tapped your shoulder. “Can I help you?” his voice called out as you turned. 

Buck. 

You let out a breath, your eyes studying his perfect face for a moment. Do you say something or just pretend like you didn’t know him?

“Yeah, I'm uh- I'm looking for Eddie. I think I left my phone in the ambulance.” 

“Do I know you from somewhere ?” 

“I work at the building down the road, 14th street. You guys were there earlier, hence the phone in the ambulance” you tell him, hoping he drops the topic. 

“Y/n! Hey! What are you doing here?” You see Eddie call from behind Buck. 

Thank god. 

“I left my phone in the ambulance. I figured you’d know what happened to it” you’ve stepped past Buck and towards Eddie now. “I haven’t seen it, but maybe it’s still in there. Come with me, we can check for it” 

Eddie was making his way down the stairs and you were behind him when Buck called your name. 

Not y/n. 

Peach. 

You paused, taking a deep breath in before turning to face him. “I thought I remembered you from somewhere” he smiled, him and his stupid smile. 

“I’m in a rush, Evan. Plus, I'm not in the mood to reminisce.” 

The smile dropped from his face, the guilt crept up on you. The feeling of your stomach twisting, sighing before making your way down to Eddie who was by the ambulance, your phone in hand. 

“There’s more to the story than I thought,” Eddie hands the phone over, you give him a hum and thank him. “Let me walk you out.” he follows you out to your car. 

“You know, whatever he did- he’s changed. He’s a good guy.” Eddie says, his voice sincere. 

“I know, I just- I don't know” 

“What did he do? If I can ask” 

“We were- I don't know what we were. We hung out in high school, just once but he was different from the other guys. He genuinely cared. We went to a party together and he brought me home after. I remember falling asleep with him in the house and the next morning he was gone. Total radio silence that whole weekend and when I saw him at school the following week, he acted like he didn’t know me - it was like that for the rest of senior year. We never spoke after that.” 

Here you were pouring your heart out to a firefighter who you had only met an hour ago who also had seen your bare chest (in a professional way, of course)  on a Tuesday morning in the parking lot. 

“Wow- I can see why you wouldn’t want to talk to him.”

“Yeah, thank you for the phone though. I gotta get back to work” 

“Wait, let me get your number” 

You pause, looking at him with furrowed brows. He seemed confused then he realized how that sounded. “Oh god- no not like that, sorry. I meant maybe we could grab a drink sometimes, as friends and maybe you could tell me more about high school Buck ?” 

“Um- yes to the number and drinks but I don’t know about Buck” you hand the phone back over to him, telling him that you’d text him. 

--- 

It was a while before you heard from Eddie, he said he was off on Saturday if you were up for drinks and weren't busy. The whole team was going out but he invited you along to join them. 

After some back and forth “I couldn't intrude” and “you won’t be, come join us” you finally gave in. 

Now it’s 9pm and you, Eddie and Buck are sitting at a booth. Coincidentally, everyone else was busy. Chimney and Hen who you hadn’t met yet, were with their significant others and kids. So that left the 3 of you together. 

You wanted to walk back out when you saw it was only the two of them but Eddie had seen you and called you over. His phone buzzed just as Buck came back with drinks. 

“Everything okay?” Buck asked his friend, Eddie, still typing away on his phone. “Huh? Yeah, it’s Carla. Chris is running a fever” you could hear the concern in his voice. 

“Chris is your son?” 

“Yeah- I'm sorry I got to go. I’ll make it up to you. Drinks on me another night” Eddie gave your shoulder a squeeze as he stood. 

“No yeah, of course. Go, it’s fine” you smiled. 

“Let me know if you need anything” Buck shifts towards Eddie, the two of them seem to have some sort of routine or way of how things work between them.  

And now there were two. 

Buck sipped on his beer, you sat across from him, your nails tapping against the bottle in front of you. He was the first one to speak.

“So, how have you been?”

“Good. You?”

“Good too. I don’t know if you remember my sister but she had a baby recently so I've been hanging out with her after work”

“Oh, that’s nice. Maddie right?”

“Yeah, she had a little girl. She’s the cutest little girl ever.” Buck pulls his phone out, showing you a photo of him holding a baby in a blanket with a brunette beside him. The woman beside him, Maddie you assumed, was smiling at Buck, fixing the blanket while he looked at the camera, the joy evident on his face.

“She’s adorable and your sister looks the same, she hasn’t aged a day” you hum, passing the phone over to him.

Back to awkward silence.

“What happened to us?” Buck’s question catches you off guard.

“What happened to us? You happened.”

“What? I thought we were friends.” Your eyes met, his full of confusion and yours with displeasure.

“Friends don’t disappear in the middle of the night with no explanation and ignore them for the rest of senior year.” You get up, grab your phone and make your way to the door. Buck’s calling out to you but you don’t want to stop and talk to him.

The night was cold, the wind hit your bare shoulders and you shivered for a moment before walking. Buck was still calling out your name, he had followed you out the bar.

“Y/n! Stop! Y/n, c’mon. Please!” His hand wrapped around your wrist, holding you in place. You pull your hand back.

“No! You don’t get to do that. Act like everything is fine when you disappeared with no explanation. I know we weren’t best friends but I thought we were at least friends. That fucking hurt, Evan.”

“Fine,” he sighs, looking at you. “You want the truth ?” Your brows raised, waiting for him to continue.

“You told me you liked me. You were a good kid, going to Harvard, which you obviously did” gesturing at you, he continued. “I didn’t know what I wanted and I didn’t want you to feel like you needed to be by my side until I figured it out. I knew you would resent me for that and I couldn’t do that to you, I couldn’t do it to myself.”

“That’s selfish. It’s about you ? That’s why you left with no explanation ? You couldn’t do it to yourself ? Man the fuck up Buck, life isn’t about you.” 

“You think I don’t know that ?! You think I didn’t think about you all the time? That I didn’t miss you?” 

“Don’t start with that shit. You knew where I would be. You said it yourself, I was “a good kid, going to Harvard” so if you really missed me, you could have found me.” 

“Y/n, be real. We were just out of high school, what means did I have to go searching for you? I had my own shit to deal with.” 

“Just stop, I don’t even want to know.” 

“No, you stop” 

“No you.” 

“Y/n” his voice was stern, the annoyance clearly there. 

“Evan.” your tone matched his.

That stupid smug smile of his was on his face, that was enough to make you roll your eyes. “’Kay, I'm over your shit.” turning away from him, you go to walk away but his hand grabs yours. 

Still fit like it was made to be there. 

Before you could register what was happening, Buck’s lips were on yours. Maybe time stopped when Buck’s lips met yours but your heart didn’t- it felt like it was beating a million times seconds and the butterflies in your stomach were restless. 

It wasn't clear to either of you at the moment that it had started pouring rain but it didn’t matter. There was this raw emotion in the way his hands felt on your waist or how his chest was pressed to yours. 

Buck would be lying if he said he didn’t open his eyes slightly, sneaking a guilty peek at you just to make sure you weren’t a fiction of his imagination. Every breath he took smelt of lavender and honey, the same scent that had lingered on his mind since the day he met you. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to him, if that was even possible. 

Maybe this was meant to be, fate bringing back what was meant for him to him or maybe this really was all a fabrication of his imagination but he wanted to live in his moment forever. 

It wasn't until thunder rumbled that he pulled away. The rain had soaked your clothes and hair, your makeup had smudged and half of your lipstick was on Buck. 

The same stupid smug smile on his face.

“God,” rolling your eyes at him. “You’re so annoying.” wiping your lips with the back on your hand, hoping that you got all the lipstick off. 

“Yeah, I'm the annoying one” Buck’s face twisted, giving you a playful shove as you stepped towards him. Your thumb comes up to wipe the lipstick off him. Buck’s arm lifts, now over your shoulder. 

The two of you looked at each other as you made your way down the street. 

“Just a phase huh ?” you hum, glancing at Buck. 

The blonde let out a chuckle, “maybe not.” 

--- 

taglist: @advicefromnixxxx @spencersendgame​ @keenmarvellover @beth-winchester21 @fernandaweasley2 @yikesyikesyikes95 @hotchsdarling @duhbar1975 @wowitsel @mrspeacem1nusone​ @jillys-feral-fandoms @iris-oaklee-carter-911oc @hailsstormthings @averyhotchner @captainxholmes @venusrosepetal @babybuckleys @looney-literature @caitsymichelle13@artemishunter18​ @may-grants​ @floralbuckleys​ @mrs-dr-reid​

[beomgyuls]

What About Us? || C.Beomgyu. Chapter 8

⚎ Summary - after all of your hard work, living alone with no support from your parents what so ever after you graduated college. Your father suddenly called you, announcing that there was a rather weighty deal that was made between your family and with the Choi’s. Forcefully leaving you to marry Choi Beomgyu, one of the most powerful yet mysterious CEO there is.

⚎ Pairing - Beomgyu x Reader

⚎ Genre - arranged marriage! au, ceo! beomgyu, fluff, angst.

⚎Word counting - 5.1k

⚎Warnings - swearing, ANGST.

It was already 3 in the morning and still, you’re here sitting alone on top of the bed with your phone clutched between your hands, your lips cracking due to the amount that you’ve been biting them for some time now. Chest heaving up and down, you pressed Yujun’s contact and typed a message for her to read once she wakes up.

: Can you come over later? Please, I need your help

Sighing you tossed your phone to the side and was startled when the big doors of the master bedroom opened, Beomgyu froze in place once he saw you still awake, he let out a sigh before turning away from you, tongue and heart still aching from the words the two of you exchanged earlier.

Nothing changed on his face, he still wore a soft frown with his disheveled hair hovering over his tired eyes. You watched him walk inside the walk-in closet with the doors left open, your heard him picking out a new set of clothes due to the sound of metal hangers hitting each other. And so soon he walked out with him only wearing a white shirt that’s tucked inside his black jeans, showing his long legs with his hair now swept back when he ran a hand over them. The sight made you grip the sheets tighter due to the fact that your heart can’t take his existence, he just stood there with his attention glued to the floor. After the heated argument or the ‘fight’ the two of you had, you can’t find the right words to say towards him anymore it felt like there was something stopping you to function whenever he’s around and you silently hoped that Beomgyu’s feeling the same way.

The two of you can’t function while the other is around or your heart just can’t accept the words he said earlier because this is not real. This marriage is not real. Your mind embraced it, remembered it, prioritized that all of this isn’t real, the ring and the moments between you and him are just all according to plan, to make your parents proud, for the press and popularity but why does your heart have other plans?

You silently wiped your tears away that somewhat fallen quietly when you were deep in thought and when you looked up Beomgyu wasn’t there anymore. You began to sob in the cold bedroom, your whimpers of pain grew louder, fresh tears streaming down your cheeks. You are so damn confused right now, your head is aching because it’s having a battle with your heart it’s saying that you should accept his love and move on, be happy with Beomgyu in this marriage and your mind is fighting against that idea.

“Okay, so when I saw your text I didn’t waste a single time going here” That was the first thing Yujun said when you opened the front door for her, her face suddenly crumpled together after seeing you on the other side.

“What happened?” She asks whilst pointing at you. Especially your messily styled hair and your tired and puffy eyes from crying just hours ago. Then you watched her pick her feet up and put all of her weight on both of her toes to look behind you, her neck swaying side to side like she’s some sort of giraffe. Her lips pouted and pointed behind you, you looked behind just to see no one.

“What are you doing?” You asked, hugging yourself from the cold wind going inside the house.

“I just found it weird because Beomgyu used to be always behind you whenever you welcome me here,” Yujun said as she fully walked inside the house, it was so quiet that she could hear both of your footsteps echoing the whole place.

Inviting her for breakfast with you not opening your mouth to say anything made Yujun stand up and place both of her hands on either side of her hips. “Alright, I’ve had enough of your tiny little brain going elsewhere, Y/n. What the fuck happened?”

She watched as you breathe out a sigh before leaning back to your seat with both of your eyes closed, lips quivering from all of the things that’s been happening.

“Beomgyu and I got into a fight basically… and I don't know If I’m stupid or we both are” You mentioned.

Yujun raised an eyebrow from what you said, it's normal for married couples to get into a fight so she doesn’t know why you’re acting like this unless it must’ve been a pretty big fight.

“What?-”

“He told me that he loves me and I denied his feelings and confession and that made everything get into a total shit storm” You groaned, gripping your hair frustratingly.

“I knew that I also love him due to the way that I’m acting towards him but my mind can’t accept it, Yujun” You cried, shaking hands clasping together as you faced your friend who was left speechless on the other side of the table.

“I mean- I knew this day would come where I’ll eventually fall for him but I didn't expect it to be this soon! And we can’t be together like really, because things will be confusing for the both of us-”

“Why would it be confusing for the both of you if the two of you already love each other? Just say it and stop acting like a bunch of high schoolers having a fucking crisis or something” Yujun spoke, placing her fork down on the table.

“Because it’s not real. This marriage. This ring. This relationship that I have with him is not real! Everything is fake or either an act to make both sides of our family satisfied and I was even the one who begged my knees to my parents to not get married to Beomgyu, I acted like an idiot in front of him and he did too when we both signed that damn paper!” You exploded as you slammed your hand on top of the table making Yujun flinch and hug herself protectively.

Your breath hitched along with your chest aching with pain after saying those words towards her, clenching your hands into a ball of fists you slowly sat back down and just stared out the existence of this world.

“But the feelings the two of you show each other are real Y/n, you care for him, he cares for you, you worry about him, he worries about you, you feel happy when he’s with you and he also feels happy when he’s with you. The both of you love each other but you’re just afraid to admit it because there’s this barrier going on between the two of you and I think that’s because it’s an arraigned marriage, you think that everything’s fake but it’s not if it’s just the two of you. Yes, it’s fake for the eyes of your parents but It’s real for everybody and also you, you know that because you love him”

You bite down your lip and locked eyes with Yujun who held a small yet tight smile for you across the table, she placed a hand on top of yours and squeezed it to reassure you that everything will be fine. You mirrored her smile and allowed the fresh new tears to roll down your cheeks, you must have looked so stupid to make her laugh out loud when Yujun saw you crying again.

“Now are you okay?” She asked.

You could only give her a nod in response but the blooming feeling of worry soon settles down inside of you when you looked at the time. Beomgyu still hasn’t returned from his leave earlier this morning, you tried calling him for the past hours just to know where he is but the other line just got cut off by his voicemail.

“What’s wrong?” Sensing your discomfort, Yujun switched places and not took the seat beside you.

“Beomgyu’s not answering my calls… he left this morning at 3 and still hasn’t returned”

“When was the last time you called him?”

“About an hour ago” You replied.

“Try again,” Yujun said as she handed you your phone that’s right in front of you.

You hesitated to take it away from her hands because you’re already feeling that you’ve been bothering him for the past hours from calling him and even if he did pick up what will you say? You’ll be left dumbfounded just by hearing him.

“I-I don’t know” You pushed the phone away.

“Come on, If you really love the person you should call them” Yujun encouraged you and waved the phone in front of your face.

“But what if the reason that he’s not picking up is that maybe he’s already annoyed at me for calling him? And maybe he’s at work already” You reasoned, standing up and grabbing the dishes as you walked your way towards the sink to wash them but stopped when you heard your phone ringing.

Turning around with wide eyes you saw Yujun calling Beomgyu with your phone as she showed you the screen. Why did you even tell her your phone’s password?!

“Let’s wait for him to pick up”

“Are you going to pick that up? Y/n’s been calling you nonstop she must be really worried about where you are right now”

Beomgyu only watched his phone ring in front of him with Yeonjun and Soobin by his side also watching his phone ring away on top of the countertop where they all sat at the barstool of it. He’s now at one of his penthouses in the city of Seoul, dragging both of his friends earlier with an invite to the bar to drink some beer and now resting here.

“Answer the call,” Yeonjun said as he lightly hit Beomgyu’s shoulder hoping that It might knock some sense to his friend.

“Even if I answer it, I wouldn’t be able to say anything” Beomgyu responded quickly before flipping his phone so that the back is now facing them and the screen is now facing the table.

“And I don’t have the fucking right mind to talk to her right now after what happened back home” He finishes before standing up and just as he’s about to pick his phone up that’s still ringing and about to decline it, Soobin blocked his view and took his phone.

“Shit!” Yeonjun gasped from the scene as he watched Soobin answer the call. Meanwhile, Beomgyu just stood there and silently stared at the phone stealer with sharp eyes, both hands tucked inside his jean pockets as he wore an emotionless face.

“Go on say something” Beomgyu mentioned and pointed at his phone that’s now beside Soobin’s ear, his sharp look made him gulp down slowly before letting out a forced breathy laugh in defeat. No matter what the situation is, Beomgyu’s the only one that’s a tough nut to crack open for he always wears this stone-cold face even with his friends.

“Hello?” You said on the other line with Yujun waiting beside you with her arms crossed over her chest. Almost like she's guarding you.

You waited for him to say something but instead just heard silent whispering on the other line, some sharp curses, and a silent laugh which made you furrow your eyebrows together and scrunch your face up into a frown.

Is he playing with you right now?

“Is this some kind of joke?” You spat with your tone of voice catching Yujun’s attention, did she make the situation worse by calling your husband?

“Y/n! Heyy… uhh Beomgyu’s fine if you’re wondering and he’s with us right now so don’t worry” The other line finally spoke and it was Yeonjun who said those.

Your face that used to be confused toned down into a much blank one, you expected that Beomgyu would finally pick up his phone and say something to you but it was just his friend who updated him.

Part of you grew a sign of relief knowing that he was with his close friends but the other part of you suddenly felt guilt after remembering the way you talked to him with such denial when he looked at you deep in the eyes, those eyes that wished that you’d say the truth but ended up shutting your heart away from him. Maybe he’s angry at you and asked Yeonjun to answer the phone.

“A-Alright” You breathed out before ending the call.

“What happened?” Yujun asked.

You put out a tight smile and replied, “Nothing”

Maybe you did deserve this dejection that you’re feeling right now, you deserve every single bit of it and maybe you’ll even embrace the fact that Beomgyu might even now want to see you again after what happened.

“I think you should go back home now Beomgyu, fix this fight between you and Y/n. Grow some balls and tell her how you feel without shutting the other one out, listen carefully and wait for one of you to finish so that no confusion would be left behind” Yeonjun spoke as he shoved Beomgyu’s phone to his chest and looked deeply into his eyes. The two watched him breathe out a heavy sigh before taking his phone and shoving it back inside his pocket and getting ready to walk away just as he was about to touch the doorknob that leads to the exit of his penthouse, Beomgyu looked over his shoulder and saw Yeonjun and Soobin.

“Lock the door if you two are going to leave, leave the card at the receptionist. I’ll ask my secretary to grab it later” And with that Beomgyu left, leaving the two of his friends wide-eyed when they got a full penthouse by themselves.

Yujun left hours ago and now you’re getting ready to go to work with the silence of the house as your companion, grabbing your purse you walked out of the bedroom but stopped in your tracks when you saw his feet also frozen on the ground after seeing you. Beomgyu had one hand touching the doorknob of his office as it just stayed there due to his attention drifting to you, already wearing your work clothes with your purse hanging on your shoulder. You’re the same as him, hand not even leaving the doorknob of the bedroom when you saw him standing just one door away from you.

You’re the first to break the eye contact by opening your purse and taking your car keys out, your own car that you took from your old apartment when you decided to stop by one day to take a quick look at it, and also grabbing some stuff that could be some of use. You didn’t say anything but marched down the hallway with your heels clicking the floors for Beomgyu to watch you walk down the stairs at a face pace.

When you arrived at the building the first thing that greeted you was Taehyun talking to the receptionist with his voice meeting every corner of the room. He sounded confused about a situation with him massaging his temple from time to time so you decided to check up on what’s going on by walking towards him. And when you did come closer you heard him talking to the front desk clearly now.

“I want to know how did this happen? Have they lost their mind?! The sudden ties between our company and theirs are going perfectly secretly! Then how the fuck did it suddenly got released into the media?! This was supposed to be a private, a fucking private project between QuickSPACE Ad and C.B Enterprises!”

“It said that the reason was from the background of C.B Enterprises of bankruptcy that happened three years ago suddenly bombing up the media, the CEO during that time was Choi Beomgyu’s father” The lady behind the desk responded with fast typing from her keyboard.

“What’s the connection of that past matter to this one?” Taehyun asked, running a hand to his face to get rid of the built-up frustration inside of him.

“Some people think that it’s a big risk having a project connected to a company that went bankrupt” The lady responded.

“What bankruptcy?” You butted in whilst placing your purse at the desk and faced Taehyun who looked shocked and relieved at the same time seeing you.

“The wife is here!” He exaggerated and pointed at you with a smile on his face.

“What?” You put on a rather questionable face when he called you by that name, showing you to the lady behind the front desk like you just saved his life.

“Do you know the bankruptcy that happened three years ago?” Taehyun asked you with the slightest hope that you’ll answer his question- hell even know what he’s talking about.

“I haven’t heard of any bankruptcy involving C.B Enterprises” You answered with careful words, it’s the truth. Knowing that Beomgyu’s father is just like him due to their success in the business community a bankruptcy is pretty much impossible on their watch.

“Is it even true? And what project are we working on with them? How come I don’t know anything?” You followed.

“Because we didn’t tell you?? I thought that was pretty obvious” Taehyun straightforwardly said as a continuation.

“Oh by the way- Did you give him the gift? He better like it because I wasted my lunchtime to join you in buying his precious, precious gift” He asked and clearly mentioned the guitar that you bought with him yesterday at the store. You closed your eyes for a moment to think of a reply but nothing came. “Uhh… I haven’t given it to him yet”

Taehyun seemed to let it go by nodding his head and fixing himself up to go to his office, tapping your shoulder as a farewell before walking away. You remembered the guitar that was hiding inside your home office, you don’t know why but you’re planning to just hide it there for the rest of its life. When you returned after going to the bathroom real quick you almost jump in shock after seeing Siu sitting on your swivel chair as he playfully twirls himself around and makes himself feel welcome. He skipped school again.

“Jesus! What are you doing here?!” You shouted at him after closing the door behind you, walking towards your desk to where he’s at.

“Safe to say that I don’t want to stay at Aunt’s anymore because she’s mad at me and also our parents and oh! Our older sister just visited me last night and confiscated my phone so I don’t have it with me fuck that!” Siu ranted whilst lazily spinning around with him playing with a pen he randomly found on top of your desk.

The staff around the building already know him because of his unexpected visits and claims to be your brother made things easier for him to sneak in here whenever he feels like it.

“So, could I- I don’t know crash into your old apartment for now?”

“I can’t believe my younger brother is homeless right now” You joked which resulted in a laugh escaping both of your lips. Nodding your head you made your way to your purse and took the apartment key out before tossing them to him which he caught effortlessly as you watched him stand up and walk his way towards the door to leave.

“Call me- I mean send me a letter when you arrived there” You laughed after realizing that he doesn’t have his phone with him now. Siu laughed but soon his smile died down and a frown settled between his soft features, you turned to look at him, trying to meet his eyes which he avoided quickly when he opened the door and let out a small ‘bye’ before he fully leaves your sight.

You took note that you’ll visit him some other time because you’re slowly noticing that he’s distancing himself from everybody even you, he would now avoid their eyes or either leave the room without saying anything. You want to ask him if something’s bothering him and that made you let out a breathy chuckle, you’re the one who is always comforting or lifting up their spirits if they’re not feeling themselves but who’s going to do it to you? You needed one right now badly. You wanted to hear the word ‘how are you?’ from someone and that’ll brighten up your day quickly. Here you are right now walking down the hallway of the building to grab a new set of black ink from your printer until you bumped into someone along the way, the face of a man that you don’t want to see right now.

“Hi, Y/n how are you?”

What the fuck? You admit that you wanted someone to ask you how you’re feeling but not him out of all people walking and breathing on the planet called earth. Ken walked out of the printing room with fast hands, he quickly hid the folder that he was holding by clutching it deep in his arms and now faced you with a small smile.

“Fine”

“Woah, Woah what’s with the short reply?” Ken asked, placing a hand on top of his chest as he looked down at you with his empty eyes. Ignoring him you entered the printing room but still felt him following you with the sound of the door closing behind him if he thinks that you were dumb enough to ignore what happened the other day about him wanting to get back to you then he’s wrong. Just as you’re about to open a drawer where they store the ink from the printers are in Ken blocked your way by leaning towards it, placing the folder on the desk beside him as he tilted his head to the side to get a full view of you to face, closing your eyes from annoyance you mastered up the courage to look at him in the eye.

“What?” You asked with an irritated tone because he’s bothering you during work hours and you really need to start printing some projects.

“I can’t believe that C.B Enterprises went bankrupt and the news just only said it today… maybe they did it on purpose to delay the questions that the press would ask them. Maybe Beomgyu’s father was afraid of the failure of his business that’s just one knock away from falling, so he assigned his son to be the CEO at such a young age… a pretty cowardly move I might say. And he also arranged a marriage for his son to you so that their company would be a huge chunk of the business world, “The famous CEO of C.B Enterprises steps down from his position as the CEO and hands the business to his son Choi Beomgyu at the age of 20, no further information was said” Ken finishes his long and murderous words, you were taken back from his sudden knowledge about your arranged marriage with Beomgyu and also the bankruptcy.

“How are you sure about that?” You asked with a whisper.

“Y/n, your family's business was not the one that needed help it was Beomgyu’s family. It just bothered me how Beomgyu easily took the position as the CEO without knowing what to do in the first place… his father made him the CEO as a cover-up for the money he stole from various companies and now his son is suffering from answering or should I say paying all those debts”

“What are you saying?” You spoke with shaky breaths, the sudden information from him bothered your mind to work. But you can’t just believe him, you need proof, and you need to talk to Beomgyu.

“Sorry sweetheart…” Ken spoke as he placed a strand of your fallen hair behind your ear that made you mentally freeze in place, blinking numerous times you pushed him to the side and opened the drawer to get the ink and leaving him behind without a single glance.

———

“How did he know about it? It’s a private donation” That’s the first thing you heard when you entered the house. Walking further in you stopped when you saw the mess lingered around the living room, envelopes, folders, binders, and boxes of papers were scattered around with your husband sitting on the couch flipping through a thick binder. He’s wearing glasses that had a black frame in them with his hair messy due to the times he would run a hand over it in frustration, Beomgyu had both of his elbows resting on his thighs with the binder between his hold, the collar of his button-down shirt loosened, you quickly swallowed the lump down your throat from the unplanned welcome. It looked like he got home way earlier than you due to the messy scene in the living room but just Beomgyu threw his bag to the side for him to continue his work here.

“Maybe someone saw you?” The person on the other line guessed you could hear their conversation because Beomgyu had the call on speaker.

“How the fuck? I’m pretty sure I’m fully covered by the time I came to visit your orphanage” He sighed, throwing the binder to his side clearly not knowing that you’re here.

“I don’t know why my father’s so against the idea of me using my own money! I’m not playing with his or the companies! I’m using my fucking own!” Beomgyu raised his voice causing you to hug yourself from his sudden outburst.

“And plus, the problems I’m dealing with at the company and here at home due to some fucking reasons, this whole thing is making my head rip apart, Hueningkai” He complained before finally looking up from the floor to meet your eyes across the room, his eyes looked tired and his shoulders were stiff as a rock due to the concept of news circling around him.

From the moment he finished complaining to his friend about his problems and specifically the problems he mentioned here at home, made you think that he’s pointing out that you’re the problem. Your fight with him was the problem heck maybe even your existence is the problem on this roof, pursing your lips on a thin line you marched up the stairs leaving Beomgyu behind still looking at the place where you stood.

“I’ll call you later” That was the last thing you heard him say before making a turn around the cold hallway of his home. When you arrived at your shared bedroom you began taking one blanket from the cabinet and also two pillows that hugged his very familiar scent it filled up your nose which made your heart shut down immediately. Maybe this was the best thing to do if the two of you are going to act like the other one doesn’t exist, you walked out of the room and took the spare room at the very end of the hallway specifically the one that’s far away from the master bedroom where you used to rest.

Dropping your purse to the floor after closing the door behind you, your knees slowly gave up and now met the hardwood floor of the small room with the darkness of the night engulfing it from the window, it suddenly felt like you don’t belong here anymore, you’re just not used of Beomgyu not welcoming you home with his usual questions about how your day went and his smile that shined brighter than the sun.

Days went on with the two of you not talking to each other, Beomgyu didn’t say anything when he found out that you switched bedrooms safe to say that it might be awkward now to be in one bed with him, you’ll sometimes wake up with Beomgyu already leaving for work and also doing his best on ignoring you.

Just like today when you walked out of the bedroom you’re sleeping in, he was already wearing his work clothes and is now walking down the stairs towards the garage without eating breakfast or even having a cup of coffee like he usually does. From time to time you’d worry about the way he would lock himself up in his office and when you’re walking past it you’d hear his frustrated voice talking to some people on the phone but he never fails to get it done in the right way, the bankruptcy that exploded the news still hasn’t died now and people are now wanting answers from Beomgyu to confirm it.

Walking to the kitchen with light steps to grab yourself a glass of water but what surprised you was when you heard the sound of a chair getting scraped down the floor, looking back you saw Beomgyu eating his breakfast with one of the housekeepers placing his breakfast bagel on a plate and serving to him. You quickly noticed its eyes shaking from the heavy atmosphere surrounding you and your husband because it’s the first time since the past week the two of you met in one room without leaving the other one alone, it’s been hard for you when you did try to talk to him just to ask him about his day Beomgyu would leave the same room as you or just occupy his attention to his phone. You wanted to make things right again for the two of you, you wanted to say that you too do love him back without breaking down from the reason behind it.

“If you’re going to say something I’d rather not hear it because I’ve got work to do and I’m just hungry, so if you want to join me go eat your breakfast now before I leave you here alone”

Your mouth began to open and close on itself like a fish swimming down the deepest ocean at how that squeezed your heart, your hand began to shake when you grab a plate from the cupboard also the spoon and fork, and your knees grew wobbly when you walked on the other side of the table to sit across from him. It’s been a week since you last heard his voice direct towards you, you can’t even grab a single serving of the pesto eggs from the uncomfortable silence filling up the room.

You heard Beomgyu let out a sigh before taking one piece of the pesto egg and placing it on top of the soft bread in front of him before handing it to you, also pushing the bowl of fresh-cut strawberries to you. You stopped for a moment before lifting your head up to meet his eyes already looking at you, he was slowly chewing his sandwich before licking his lips clean after exchanging your deep gaze.

“Finish eating, I’ll wait for you”

Tags!

@beomnamuuu @startlinejjuni @wccycc @yoontaerry @yunascular @kkyubear

[bowdownbucky]

𝐁𝐀𝐃, 𝐁𝐀𝐃, 𝐁𝐀𝐃 !

part 2 <3

summary: you have an encounter with your best friend’s brother bucky!

pairing: innocent! reader x college! bucky

warnings: cursing, asshole! steve rogers, kissing, drug use, oral (female receiving) fingering.

your heart began to beat heavily, bucky didn’t care that his sister was outside of the door but you started to feel guilty. this was so wrong of you and you didn’t even want to look at yourself. “you better answer her sweethear, she’s not gonna leave.” bucky taunts you, he hand trails your stomach, groping your breasts hard. “uh-im almost finished, i h-had to ohhh.” you slap you hand over your mouth, bucky smirks as he pinches you nipple again.

“what?” rebecca moved closer to the door. “are you okay? i’m coming in.” your eyes widens, you pushed bucky away and slowly cracked the door. “i’m f-fine, the um…pizza! the pizza went down the wrong hatch.” you lie. rebecca’s face screws up. “ew i did not need to know that y/n” you watch as she walks into her room. you close the door, leaning your head back onto the wooden frame.

you closed your eyes and hoped that this was all a dream, that you didn’t actually kiss your best friends brother. you slowly open your eyes only to meet a pair of blue eyes, bucky laughs at you. “went down the wrong hatch? seriously?” you cross your arms in front of your chest. “well what was i supposed to say, sorry can’t talk now i’m making out with your brother. she’s kill me!” you exclaim, you ran your hands down your face in an irrational manner. this was too much for you and bucky didn’t see anything wrong with it.

“would you chill out? here take a hit, it will make you feel better.” bucky offers the small bud once more, you smack it out of his hand. “do you always solve your problems with weed!” you hiss. his eyes were low, he watched as the joint flew onto the ground. you hitch your breath realizing what you did, you see his tongue rub his lower lip. you almost melt at the sight.

“your gonna regret the doll.” he seethes into your ear. he pushes you against the door, you let out a yelp but he covers your mouth. “i know a way you can make it up to me, and you are gonna make it up to me. you know why baby?” you shake your head. “because you don’t want to get on my bad side. i would hate to ruin that innocence of yours.” he whisperers, he hands managed to find their way to you ass, giving it a light squeeze before letting you go.

you move from the door and he exits the bathroom, leaving you alone with your thoughts. you could barely comprehend what happened let along what he meant by his bad side. you grabbed the nail polish remover and walk back to rebecca room. “finally! you took forever.” you mumble a small sorry and sat on her bed, she lends you her hand and you get to work on her nails, she chose a peach color and wanted you to add a french tip, such a classic.

as you continue painting her nails she squeals making you mess up the curved line. “becca! your nails!” you groan. “i don’t care! why didn’t you tell me?” you tilt your head confusingly. “you and steve hooked up and you didn’t tel me?!” you eyes go wide. “what! no! where did you get that from?” you ask her. she huffs. “no, no, no, no don’t try to act all innocent! you and chris did it and there is evidence on your neck. i rest my case.” you rush off the bed and check your neck, you internally face palm seeing dark purple marks all over your neck.

“i had no idea steve was like that. i guess i have to stop making fun of him now.” she chuckles. “just taking me home my ass! so how was it? was he big? why arent you giving me details.” rebecca whines, kicking her feet in her bed. you ignored her and attempted to kneed out the hickies. as you run the marks you notice bucky staring at you from his room door, you could practically feel his smirk as you watched his reflection go back to his room. you heart raced as you tried to come up with an excuse.

“it’s no big deal i just burnt myself with a straightener.” you curse to yourself knowing she wouldn’t fall for that. “fine don’t tell me! i’m going to sleep, all this secrecy has made me tired.” rebecca yawns, you hoped she wouldn’t ask you about the hickey again because lying was never your forte. you lie in the large bed, clouded in your own thoughts.

did he like you? was he just messing with you? you had so many assumptions of why he kissed you, what bothered you the most was that you had steve. steve was a jock and you were an outcast, you didn’t know how it would work. even though you and steve hadn’t officially said you were together, you still respected him and wanted to be faithful.

the next morning at school, you kept your head down and didn’t talk to anyone for the most part. no one really seems to notice because you were kind of a nobody. you sat in your forensics class, jotting down notes here and there. you stop writing when you feel a hand creep up your thigh. you turn your head toward steve, he kept a straight face and didn’t acknowledge how unamused you were.

“what are you doing?” you whisper. steve’s hand tries to travel up your skirt but you close your legs firmly. “steve!” he turns to you. “we’re in the middle of class.” you point out. “i’m sorry you know i can’t resist you baby. let me make it up to you but taking you out after homecoming.” you hault yourself as you almost roll your eyes at him. steve could be pushy sometimes especially when it came to losing your virginity to him. you hated that rebecca told him that, now he wouldn’t leave you alone.

“oh really.” you say pretending to be intrigued. “the guys and i bought hotel rooms for tonight and we get to bring a special girl along. and you know since your my favorite girl, i thought we could go together and have fun. go swimming, watch movies, kiss, cuddle, the whole nine and maybe some other stuff if you want.” you remove his hand from your thigh and continue writing notes. “i told you steve i’m not ready for that stuff yet.”

steve huffs, returning back to the lesson. your virginity wasn’t something that you kept sacred but you wanted you first time to be meaningful and steve hadn’t even asked you to be his girlfriend yet so your answer would always be no if he asked. when school ended you took the bus home, you quickly packed a bag full of makeup, hair supplies and your clothes for homecoming. you checked the time, almost cursing yourself seeing how you were going to be late to rebecca’s house.

you ran as fast as you could to the barnes’ house, you could practically feel the lecture rebecca was going to give you. luckily, you live a few blocks down from the barnes so it wouldn’t be too long of a walk/run. when you arrived at the barnes’ you quickly rang the doorbell. the door opens’ revealing a shirtless bucky who looked like he just got out of the shower. “can i help you?” he smirks looking down on you.

“becca t-told m-me to come, for homecoming.” you gulped attempting to maintain eye contact. his couldn’t help but peek at his glistened abs, you really hoped he didn’t catch on to you checking him out. before he could let out a snarky comment rebecca came gritting down the stairs with curlers in her hair. “there you are! y/n your late and we only have three hours to get ready.” you pushed pass bucky and ran up the stairs.

bucky watched at how nervous you were, it was like the fuel he ran on. rebecca closed her door and pushes you onto her vanity chair. “please tell me i have creative freedom tonight!” rebecca pleads with her big blue eyes staring at you. you sigh and nod. she kisses your forehead before beginning your makeup.

after a few hours of prodding, poking, blending, and brushing, rebecca finally finished your makeup and hair. normally you wouldn’t wear makeup because you didn’t know how to do it very well but when you did have it on you truly looked like a princess. “now carefully get into your dress y/n, i swear to god if you mess up an eyelash i will kill you.” she threatens you with her high pitched voice. you removed your jeans and shirt revealing your body, you quickly unzipped the dress as you start to compare your body to rebecca’s. becca was tall and slim while you were a little curvy. you had a small tummy with stretchmarks and she had a flat tummy with a slender waist. your best friend was beautiful and you didn’t want to see mom jealous, so you put up a front and delt with it.

you and rebecca were finally dressed, rebecca looked stunning in her white and pink dress. with the help of rebecca and mrs.barnes, you had pick a pale green dress, the curve of the dress fit you like a glove. the creases on the dress made you look more mature and sexier. you were never use to being sexy so the look on your face made rebecca freak out. “you totally hate it, i knew we should’ve gone with the black dress.” you shake your head. “n-no! it looks…great. thank you becks.” the door opens, your heart quickens when you meet a pair of bright eyes. you noticed bucky had put on a shirt, a part of you were bummed out. “would it kill you to knock! we’re girls who need privacy!” rebecca yells. bucky didn’t give his sister the time of day, his eyes were fixated on you. you felt self conscious as he stared at you long and hard. “mom and dad are going to a banquet dinner in manhattan. they won’t be back until tomorrow.” he tells rebecca. she crossed her arms in confusion. “what? no! i was supposed to have the car tonight. how the hell are we supposed to get to hoco?” rebecca flings her arms up dramatically.

bucky chuckles at his sister’s agony. “wait!” you spoke up as bucky was about to walk away. “c-can y-ou drive us?” you ask quietly. rebecca pulled your arm. “are you crazy? do you know what people say if we shows up to homecoming in a pickup truck?” rebecca vocalized. you couldn’t care less what people had to say, you just wanted and excuse to be see bucky. “becca this is important to you and even you said yourself we had to be there under any circumstances.”

rebecca whines. “fine but you’re dropping us off a block away. i need to retouch my hair, you’ve made me stress away the curls.” you watched as she pushes past bucky, leaving the two of you. you stare at him for a second then turn around, attempting to act uninterested. “you know you should skip this whole homecoming thing altogether.” bucky told you. “what! no, this is important to becca and i promised her i’d be there.” you felt his presence behind you, your back was pressed to his front. “come on doll, you never seemed like the type to be into this stuff anyway. i have a few places we could go instead. wouldn’t that be way more fun.” he was baiting you and hell, you were falling for it very hard. he pushed your hair to the side, laying a kiss on your shoulder. his hand cupped your waist, pulling you as close as you could get.

his pressed more kisses up your neck, he liked testing you, he would make you beg for it if you gave him the chance. “c’mom dollface, don’t you wanna have fun with me?” you almost gave him a nod but refrained. “i should go help rebecca, see you in a few james.” you walk away smiling to yourself, you won this round of the game but best believe, bucky was going to win the next level.

you sat in between bucky and rebecca once more, y’all were currently picking up nathan and steve, your dates for the evening. “you look beautiful beck.” nathan smiles at his girlfriend. rebecca left you in the front with bucky so she could kiss her boyfriend more. steve walks to the front car door but bucky locks him out. “hey man, open the door.” steve groans. the two had seem to have history and now you were going to be in between it. “you know the rules big guy, no douches in the front seat.” bucky smirks. “then why are you sitting up here asshole?” steve sarcastically jokes. rebecca huffed from the back, leaning in the front of the seat. “hey dickheads, we don’t have time for this, have your cat fight after hoco. let’s go!” she demands. steve huffs, taking a seat next to the couple who had no problem with pda.

the ride to the school was pretty silent except for the rock music playing from the radio. you stared out of the window, you could tell bucky was mad because of how tight he was holding the steering wheel, his knuckles were almost white from the tight grip. suddenly, his hand was on your thigh. your eyes widened, you quickly look back to make sure no one saw what was happening. “what are you doing?” you whisper. he doesn’t say anything to you, his hand stays on your thigh and his eyes stay on the road but you could still see the smirk on his face. you tried to push his his hand away but he only moves it higher, almost touching your core. you didn’t want to play games anymore, you were never built for them, you open your legs up more, instead of doing what you wanted, he removed his hand. “alright guys, have a good night.” rebecca and nathan were the first ones to leave the truck. steve exits the truck and stands by youre window. “you coming?” you nod to him. “i’ll be out in a second.” steve walks away from the window, bucky bursts out into laughter.

you throw a punch at his arm but he doesn’t flinch at you. “thats not funny! you’re so mean.” you pout. “no what’s funny is you actually going out with steve.” you eye him in confusion. steve was a good guy, he could be a little pushy but that was just high school boys. “he’s nice and he asked me to go with him. i really don’t see what’s funny bucky.”

“you think just because the guy asked you to a dance, he suddenly changes his player ways. i think you forgot i use to be one of those guys. guys like that don’t fal for girls like you” he pauses. “all he wants is to get you under him and then he’s gonna hop to the next willing participant. god you’re so naive.” you crossed your arms. “you’re such a jerk james! at least he has the decency to not play with my feelings! you’re sister was right! you’re nothing but a-an…asshole.” you yell, leaving the truck with a slam of the door. you surprised yourself at how you went off on him, what did he know about steve. you knew being involved with bucky was bad but now you officially got your sign to stay away from him.

you walked into the school looking for steve. you pushed pass people grinding and dancing on each other. when you find steve you see he’s not alone, he was dancing with lila miller. the two were close together, you turn you back in disgust once you catch the two of them share a very tongue-filled kiss. you sit at the table in annoyance. of course bucky would be right about steve, you hated the fact that he was right.

it took an hour and a half for steve to find you sitting at the table, watching everyone have fun. “hey y/n sorry i was waiting for you but then the guys wanted to go take some shots in the bathroom.” steve leans over to kiss your lips but you dodge him. he looks at you with a confused face. “come on let’s go dance.” he offers you his hand, you play with the fork that was covered in strawberry cake. “i’m good, maybe you should go dance with lila instead.” you say. steve sits back down in the chair, he cleared his throat. “you saw that? i didn’t think you’d be mad, it’s not like we’re together or anything.”

you roll your eyes, pushing your plate away from you. you get up and begin walking to the double doors. as you enters the hallways you ignore steve calling your name. “y/n! can you just wait a minute!” he yells, pulling your arm back causing you to hault. “it was just a dance, i was being nice. you can’t just get mad at me like that, i asked you to be my girlfriend more than once and you said no.”

“because all you want from me is sex which is not ready to give to you. you don’t think i hear about you hooking up with girls in the gym closet. i don’t want to be the next dumb girl who becomes a play thing for you.” you snap on him. “oh come on, sex is just sex, why do you make such a bug deal over this?” he groans.

“it’s not just sex steve, i want it to be meaningful and memorable. i’m sorry if i don’t want to hook up in a sleezy hotel.” you yell, your faces were extremely close. “and you think barnes is gonna make it special? god you’re so naive.” you furrow your brows, what did bucky have to do with this situation. “he has nothing to do with this steve! you asked me to come to this dance with you only for you to dance with another girl and make me look dumb sitting there waiting for you. you can’t take your hotel invite and shove it up your ass.” you walk away from steve, this time he didn’t bother calling your name. after he heard you curse at him he knew you guys were not going to work this out

you sit on the stairs of the school, tears slowly slid from your eyes. you felt so stupid and used, you knew steve was right but it still hurt. you two weren’t together and if he wanted to take another girl to the hotel he could because you weren’t together. you cringe at how bucky was right about steve, you wanted to be angry at him but he did warn you.

you decide to head home, walking alone the lonesome streets of brooklynn. you were wet due to the copious amount of rain fall, you shiver once more and continue to walk to your house. you noticed a familiar truck driving beside you. bucky rolls down his window. “get in.” he tells you. you continue walking, deciding to ignore the older boy. “come on doll it’s raining. a pretty girl like you shouldn’t be walking alone.” you couldn’t believe he as trying to flirt with you right now. you were hurt by his words and you were standing your ground, well that was until you heard a loud crack of lightning. you quickly rushed into the truck, slamming the door behind you.

before bucky could speak you began to talk. “just because i’m sitting in here with you, doesn’t mean i forgive you.” you seethed. bucky nods at you. “okay.” you angrily slap his arm. “okay? are you serious right now? how about a sorry for being a jerk!” you yell at him. bucky doesn’t acknowledge you, he starts looking for something in his truck. “god! boys are stupid! all you do is crave sex and hurt girls!” you rant, arms crossed over your chest. once you finished your rant you peek over at bucky holding two blunts. “wanna get high?”

you later found yourself in bucky’s room, high as a kite. you didn’t know what effect he had on you but you gave into his temptation. you sat on his bed, letting him shotgun smoke onto your mouth. “god you’re so hot.” bucky kisses your right shoulder. you softly hum in response, he trails his kisses to your exposed neck. you knew this was wrong on so many level but it felt so right.

“kiss me.” you whisper against him. the drugs in your system had your hormones at an all time high, you needed him to touch you. bucky locks his lips with yours, tongue roaming each other’s mouth in such a sensual way. bucky’s hand roams your body, cupping your breasts then your neck. you moan as he applies pressure to your throat.

he slides down you dress straps, with every kiss and touch you felt your dress being pulled lower and lower. bucky lifts you up on his lap, helping you out of the green champagne dress. you were fully exposed to him, his large hands grope your ass. he slaps the soft skin sending your lower half to grind against his tight jeans. bucky groans, pulling you closer to his bottom half. you felt the jean material rub against your clothes clit, your body shakes at the new feeling. “god you have no idea what you do to me princess.” he moans into your neck. his right hand unhooks your bra, you let the bra fall off of you. bucky eyes your bare chest, his blue eyes darken filling with lust.

he pulls your breast into his mouth, twirling his tongue around your swollen nipple. you grip onto his shirt, when moves your ass back and forth on his pants. “p-please bucky.” you whine, your body was aching for him to touch you. “what do you want doll?” you grab his, guiding him to your clothed cunt. you slip his hand under you, allowing his to grope your pussy. your mouth gapes open when bucky slowly rubs your clit back and forth.

when he notices you like the feeling of him touching you, it sends him into a deep lustful trance. he flips you over, bucky’ dog tags dangle over you. he kisses between your breast, trailing down to your stomach then he comes in contact with your laced white panties.

you can feel his breath on your wet core. he inhales you, moaning as if your cunt was the drug he was addicted to. he removed your panties from your body, bucky’s cock hardens once he caught a look at your pussy, your cunt was glistening from how wet it was, it took everything in bucky not to dive right in. “your so wet for me baby, and i haven’t even touched you yet. your pussy is begging for me to devour it.” bucky taunts. he slips one finger in your folds, your back arches at the finger passes your clit.

“bucky…please. i’ll do anything.” you beg. bucky perks an eyebrow at you. “anything?” you nod vigorously. “you’re going to cum for me three times. understand?” you nod your head. bucky licks a stride up your cunt. he moans at the taste of you. bucky wraps his pink lips around your clit, your legs spread wide as you beg for him to devour you. your back arches more, his hands pin your waist down to keep you steady, you screw your eyes shut as he sucks your clit into his mouth softly.

you moan out in pleasure, letting your hands grip his soft brown hair. you tug on his roots, attempting to push him closer to you. bucky pulls away earring a whine from you, he slips his middle finger into your core. at first his movements were slowly, he was preparing before adding his ring finger. you rode his fingers, moaning as he pumped you. you watch as he spits on your core, watching his saliva mix in with your cunt. you felt your stomach tighten, bucky felt your pussy clench around his fingers, imagining you around his cock.

he wastes no time, diving into your pussy. his tongue rapidly worked your clit, his fingers pumping you at a fast pace. your body was overwhelmed by all the stimulation. “bucky!” you scream at the top of your lungs. you were now grinding against his face, he didn’t tease you anymore, now he was on a mission to give you your orgasm. your legs shake, you cry out for bucky, your toes curled and your back arches to its full extent. bucky slows his movements as you come down from your high.

you collapse on his bed, you shiver as you feel bucky remove his hand from your pussy. you try to catch your breath, bucky hovers over you. “who knew my babydoll had that in you.”

[haik-choo]

I don't write cause I feel I don't have a good grasp on the characters personalities etc, the characterisation of akaashi post is so helpful! 👀👀 Would you do kuroo or bokuto?

a/n: I hope you like both of these! again, if yall want me to do others, let me know! these are across the span of their life, so some may seem college-related and some may seem young-adulty! 

[MISCHARACTERIZATIONS OF BOKUTO AND KUROO]

bokuto kotaro.

clueless: i’ve stated this in akaashi’s post, but bokuto is extremely emotionally intelligent. he can pick up on the slightest changes in people’s demeanor or posture, he can tell if someone is sad or happy even if they aren’t good at displaying emotions. he’s not a dumbass -- and he can pick up on others’ limits and boundaries very quickly. despite his ability to read people relatively well, he has no qualms about pushing people out of their comfort zones and forcing them to do things they might hate at first, but will love later. he pushes boundaries according to your comfort level, and respects your hard limits. 

only positive: a lot of people write bokuto to be someone ho’s only happy-go-lucky, or someone who rarely gets sad (aside from his moods that are less sad and more discouraged), but I think that almost dehumanizes him. he gets back up faster than most, yes, and at the end of a lost game where everyone is crying, bokuto is dry-eyed. he’s the type to get home and plop down on his bed, face-first into his pillow, lips quivering and eyes lightly watering. there are times where he feels insecure, especially when he’s younger, just because he can tell he’s different from the rest. he has a feeling that people are put-off from his personality, he has a feeling that he’s not as (traditionally/academically) smart as everyone else, he has a feeling that some people find him annoying. that’s why when he’s near his close friends he’s very loose -- he doesn’t feel the need to hold back even a little because he knows that they love him for him. this translates to his toxic trait with his lover being that he feels dejected/insecure if you ever want space. while he can read boundaries, he would really benefit from a lover who has just as few as he, because then he can be his truest self.

love-at-first-sight: he’s not the type to fall in love at one glance, he’s just not. yes, he might get interested or you may catch his attention, but he’s not going to fall in love with someone because they have a pretty smile. it’s not that he’s calculated or over-thinks his emotions, he knows exactly what he feels, it’s just that his heart is a little slow when it comes to falling in love. he’s such an energetic all-over-the-place person that love is never really on his mind (he gets into some trouble with accidentally leading girls on because he’s so friendly). when he eventually falls in love, though....oh boy. he stutters, he’s over-thinking all his movements when it comes to you -- he’s usually impulsive but with you he really, really doesn’t want to screw up. he wants everything to go smoothly -- so he’s the type to plan out a confession and actually try to stick to it. when it comes to something like love, bokuto is surprisingly slow and careful, because he knows how fragile a heart is. 

never gets angry: i think most people like to imagine his anger is so rare because the image of an angry bokuto is scary, especially with his stature. and while it’s true his anger is uncommon (because he’s good at processing his own emotions and not lashing out at others), when he does get angry it can be pretty unnerving. he’s the type to slam his fist on the counter unknowingly when having a really bad fight with his lover, and he has a booming voice. he’d never hit someone, but he doesn’t realize how intimidating his physique is. anger is uncommon, but that doesn’t mean he’s not scary. he always apologize afterwards, though.

boundless confidence: i touched on it earlier, that he has bouts of insecurity, but again, i really want to emphasize that he’s not endlessly confident. honestly, maybe in the anime and manga he seems that way, but if you want to make him more human, have more life than a fictional character, you have to create limits or certain traits. bokuto is very sensitive, and the slightest thing can either inflate his ego or deflate it. plays in volleyball constantly not working may dig at his confidence, but he always re-inflates. in real life, outside the court, there are things that keep his confidence low everytime they happen. fights with his lover are one of these things; he’ll get jealous when they leave the apartment after a fight because he’ll worry about you finding someone more stable than him. jealousy alone is a solid sign of chipped confidence, something that someone as sensitive as bokuto gets every once in a while. 

overall, bokuto is a lot more intelligent than what people give him credit for. he’s honest with his own emotions and can read people very well, which is probably why he’s such a people person, but he still has flaws. he does not have boundless confidence or have no perception of boundaries; he’s unbelievably understanding. he may be initially insecure, have intimidating anger, etc. but ,after all, he’s human, isn’t he? 

kuroo tetsuro. 

sex god: don’t get me wrong, I definitely believe that he’s had a lover or two, especially in college, and that he’s played the field a little bit. but i don’t see him as the guy that has had sex with every person in his major. he’s a genuine guy and can’t have sex with someone he’s not emotionally invested in -- despite not being a ‘player’, he’s totally gotten in trouble with a few people because they think he’s leading them on when he walks with them to class everyday. 

intimidating: people always characterize him as this mysterious, sexually intimidating guy, but i just can’t see him as someone intimidating. if anything, he may be a little unapproachable because he has a really tight knit group of friends that he’s always with, but he’s not scary. he’s not the center of attention but he’s not a wallflower either, he enjoys observing people and watching drama play out, but he’s not silent and glaring all the time. he’s quite fun, he’s loud, and he enjoys embarrassing his friends in public. he’s the type to twerk in public and laugh his ass off when akaashi or kenma give him the side-eye and bro-kuto joins in. he likes to have fun, ya know? i don’t know about you, but a guy that twerks in public isn’t very scary, to me at least. 

prideful: I understand why people paint him as a prideful guy, he obviously likes what he does and has a personable personality, but honestly, he’s not perfect. he often has moments where he doubts himself because of his past decisions, his career one of them. kuroo is an amazing middle blocker, and his choice to go into sports advertisement rather than an actual volleyball league no doubt haunts him at night sometimes. he thinks of the ‘what-ifs’, and he dreams of what he could be. especially since his best friend is bokuto, a professional player, it’s often on his mind. it’s a super touchy subject for him, and if someone were to question his job-choice i have no doubt that he’d get really sour and distant from that person because he’s not sure of himself either. 

frat boy: he’s not someone who can’t cook, he’s not someone who sleeps at 5am everyday, hungover. he’s not the type of person to be immature in any way -- he’s got his shit together. i’m sure most people can actually see this, but kuroo is very responsible and realistic (which is part of the reason he didn’t do professional volleyball). he does his taxes, does his homework, gives out good advice, gets up early and eats everything that a healthy person should eat (in all the right proportions, too). he doesn’t even drink often, if anything he’s just a social drinker. he goes to bed at 10pm and wakes up at 6am to work out, no joke. he’s gotta keep that physique somehow. 

decisive: i know i said he’s responsible, but i don’t think that translates to decisive. i can see him having a lot of conflicting things going on in his life, different wants and different paths that he wants to take but can’t keep all open. it happens in love, his career, his college major, etc. he wants a lot in life, he wants success, happiness, a good love-life, everything. when he had to choose between volleyball and a life-long, stable career, he was broken for weeks. was he good enough for his dream? was it wise to chase his dream? would it be better to get more kids into volleyball, do what he did, what he couldn’t do? in his love life he always hesitates, too: does he see a life with them? how long will they love him? will they be able to deal with him once they see that he’s not perfect? is it worth it? it doesn’t matter if he’s in love or not, because his extreme caution can come off as very distant and unwilling to let you in, hence his toxic trait. he’s indecisive, scared, yet passionate and hard-working. 

overall, kuroo is full of contradiction. he wants a lot from life and is willing to work for it. he has dreams and tries to stay healthy and put himself out there, have fun, the whole shabang -- but he’s not perfect. he’s overly cautious when it comes to making important decisions simply because he can see a future with all of the different paths he can take. but honestly, isn’t everyone a little contradictory? 

[taechaos]

Web of Lies

from Textbook Love drabble series

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble, smut, college au

synopsis: Soyeon is honest, Taehyung is using his last breaths to tell you the truth, and Jungkook is lying. It seems that everything you know boils down to Jungkook lying.

warnings: angst, panic attack, dry humping, the TINIEST bit of fluff

word count: 4.3k

Obstacles are inevitable in relationships; there’s always something that must go wrong. They can come in the form of arguments, disagreements, actions, or people like Taehyung. One physical obstacle that always knows when Jungkook is with you.

A few days after the fight between the two close friends, Taehyung’s nose somewhat healed and Jungkook doesn’t shy away from you as frequently. What’s the point when the people he tried to hide you from found out about his relationship with you anyway? The only reason he doesn’t approach you every time he sees you is because: 1. He doesn’t enjoy being clingy; that would mean he likes being around you all the time which he refuses to admit. 2. You would probably get tired of him and stop loving him. 3. He kissed your friend who always sits next to you outside.

Now that he’s taking most of his opportunities to talk to you, and maybe kiss you, Taehyung is growing restless. Every time Jungkook is with you, so is Taehyung. Some. Fucking. How.

To name one of the busts: when Jungkook was kissing you in the university’s hallway two days ago, Taehyung popped in out of nowhere and shouted, “Get a room, you sluts!” It made for a good laugh between the students, especially when Jungkook ran after him out of the building. 

Another time is when Jungkook was watching you work in the yard and Taehyung joined you two to ask about that “one hot friend of yours”. You ended up telling him about Soyeon and Minnie while Jungkook glared at Taehyung that conveyed a clear message: Don’t. So, he didn’t. It didn’t have anything to do with getting elbowed when you weren’t looking.

It was because that would ruin the fun, and he has a sense of purpose while roaming the entire campus to make his fourth bust of the week. He’s searched the hot and empty spots, but he just can’t find the passionate couple anywhere. If he can’t keep disrupting their displays of affection, how will Jungkook get annoyed enough to spill the truth to you? You deserve that much, and if you still accept him, then Taehyung’s out of the picture.

Why can’t Jungkook see that?

For starters, one of the reasons is Jungkook is distracted and growing very irritated by the heavy stare he feels digging into his skin. Who the fuck is watching him? He thought it would be nice to keep you company in the main campus library by controlling your hand under the table over his clothed erection while you skim through your textbook for a light revision, but a pair of eyes behind a bookshelf won’t stop glaring into his soul through thick frames that he can’t see. 

He blows out a breath and screws his eyes shut. His jaw clenches and you immediately catch on, worriedly asking, “What’s wrong?”

“Someone’s fucking watching me and I can’t get off,” he grits. Your cheeks heat and grow crimson when you glance down at your occupied hand, palmed by his bigger one in a tight grip. 

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper, “we can go to my dorm, if you’d like? Whatever you want.” In an act of comfort, you stupidly start caressing his length until he stands up. 

“Gotta confront the fucker.” 

Right when he raises his foot to take a step in the direction that his senses lead him to, Taehyung joins in on the mission. “Who are we confronting?” he asks casually with an arm over Soyeon’s shoulder, who is trying to suppress a grimace at the intervention. Jungkook glances at him and then your friend before sucking his teeth and rolling his eyes.

You grin brightly at the greeting and explain, “Someone's watching him. He’s going to find the stalker.”

“Might’ve been me, oops,” Taehyung raises his brows guiltily before slumping on a wooden chair adjacent to you, looking around the spacious area that makes him feel too loud. When he notices Soyeon still standing, he tells her, “come, sit,” and pats the seat next to him. She does so timidly. “Isn’t it so wonderful—”

“Why are you here?” Jungkook interrupts, but Taehyung continues, “—that we’re forming a friend group of our own? We’re all so familiar with each other.”

“Oh, Soyeon hasn’t met Jungkook yet.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you with a scrunch of his nose. “Sure about that?” Jungkook strides behind his chair and starts massaging his shoulders; a very harsh massage that has him holding back a wince. “Oh, Kook, that’s a bit rough. Tell me, is he like this in bed too?”

You gape at him in surprise, bashful because your lover doesn’t kiss and tell, and he doesn’t look too happy about it either.

“Tae…” Jungkook snarls.

“Well, is he, Soyeon?”

The library’s silence graces your table as everyone falls quiet, if you don’t count Taehyung’s groans at Jungkook’s bruising hold that is. Soyeon’s jaw drops and her eyes widen at the sudden switch in your gaze, searching for answers from her. “That’s not funny, Taehyung,” she breaks the silence with her blunt statement.

“Don’t mind him, baby, he has brain damage,” Jungkook spits and brings a hand up to Taehyung’s hair to yank it back. “I’m going to fucking kill you,” he whispers in his ear.

Your features begin to soften from its hard expression until Taehyung smiles wickedly at you. “Oh yeah, it wasn’t sex, was it? It was a tongue battle-” His voice cuts off the moment Jungkook starts choking him with his elbow, and his gags fall on deaf ears. Soyeon tries to push him off, but you’re just blank because Jungkook isn’t denying it; it was as if he was expecting it, trying to stop him all along. 

The sudden interest in your friend, the constant interruptions, the hits…

“Soyeon?” you call quietly with welling up tears. “Did you kiss him?”

Your best friend doesn’t lie, and apparently neither does Taehyung. Does Jungkook lie? You’re conflicted between living in bliss, ignoring the dying man in front of you because your boyfriend might have kissed Soyeon, and facing reality by asking the hard questions.

Her hands are still tugging on his shirt to save Taehyung, but her persistence weakens when she looks at you: guilty and… exposed? “I didn’t know it was him,” she confesses. It is indirect, and doesn’t reveal much except that she kissed the one man she wasn’t supposed to. 

“When?”

“The party,” Taehyung wheezes as he struggles against Jungkook’s arm, his nails drawing blood on his skin. His face is red from the lack of oxygen but he isn’t worried about dying.

“Oh, he put you up to this, didn’t he?” Jungkook speaks through clenched teeth to Soyeon. “They’re setting me up, and who the fuck is watching me?!” 

You stand up slowly and close your textbook with a soft thud, packing your materials so graciously. Your hands are shaking, but the tears blurring your vision don’t matter to you. Soyeon is honest, Taehyung is using his last breaths to tell you the truth, and Jungkook is lying. You sling your bag over your shoulder and trudge to the exit, counting your steps to calm down. You ignore Jungkook asking you where you’re going, Taehyung gasping for breath, and Soyeon telling him to leave you alone. It’s all muffled and you’re too sad to care.

It’s a case of he said she said, but your heart is siding with your friends with how painfully it pounds against your chest. Your trust in Jungkook couldn’t have been that fragile, could it? Why did it break with one sentence? 

Heavy footfalls follow you beyond the exit, but you’re too distracted by trying to move your legs steadily to notice. It isn’t important enough to distract you from someone calling your name though, or the light weight of a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Hm?” you say without looking up, frozen in your steps.

“A-Are you okay?” A smooth voice asks.

“I’m a bit sad,” your voice cracks and wavers from holding back a meltdown, “hurt.” You want to recognize the blurred image of the man standing next to you, so you blink and a tear sheds from each eye. “I told you to never talk to me again, Jimin.” You feel overwhelmed, and yet the memory of the blackmail has little impact on your mess of emotions, but it doesn't help you feel better either.

“Sorry,” he breathes, “I still don’t understand why, but you can do the talking for me. Wh-what happened?”

“Why do you ask? So you can use that against me too?” you scoff through the lump in your throat. Confusion washes his soft features, so you add, “maybe another handjob for it?” You shrug off his hand and continue your walk of shame. 

“I-I’ve never used anything against you, what are you talking about?” He’s chasing after you and it’s a bit of help in swaying your thoughts in a different direction, and your emotions towards anger and disbelief instead.

“Does a video ring a bell? The one you threatened to leak if I didn’t touch your…” You groan to yourself and quicken your pace towards your dorm. Maybe you could mope comfortably in there without the annoying presence of an arch enemy, who is feeding you more lies than you’re capable of consuming in one day. 

“What? I never— Listen, I deleted that video the second I received it. Whoever told you that was lying, please!”

It seems that everything you know boils down to Jungkook lying. His love was a lie too, apparently. Maybe the Jungkook you know is just one big fat lie who can’t seem to tell you the truth in any moment you’ve been with him. How many times do you need to hear from others and yourself that Jungkook is lying?

“I know,” you whimper and run off.

Once Taehyung catches his breath after coughing for a minute straight with a fresh bruise blossoming on his neck, he interrupts the hushed argument between Jungkook and Soyeon by asking, “Where’d she go?”

“I don’t know, but you’re going straight to hell once I fucking kill you for good,” Jungkook fumes with flushed cheeks. 

“If you die by murder, you go straight to Heaven. How do you not know this?” His voice is low from the assault and his throat aches, but he still attempts to lighten the mood. 

“I swear to fucking God, Taehyung—” Jungkook stops his threat when he sees Soyeon sneakily walking away. “Where the fuck are you going?”

“Air,” Soyeon vaguely answers.

“Bullshit.” Jungkook tries to go after her, wanting to be the first to find your dorm so she doesn't say more about that night, but Taehyung holds onto his wrist to stop him. 

“She needs time—”

“Fuck off.”

When Jungkook begins to walk off after yanking off his hand, Taehyung immediately searches around the room and takes out a pen from a cup on the reception desk before jumping Jungkook from behind just as he was about to leave. They struggle against each other and start rolling around, but Taehyung is driven by adrenaline as he grounds himself on top of him. He holds him down with his legs and uncaps the pen to start writing on his forehead.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Everyone in the library peeks at the commotion due to Jungkook’s loud yell, but neither of them pay mind as he tries to move away from the pen.

“See if she takes you seriously with dick written on your forehead,” Taehyung chuckles before sprinting off with him hot on his tail. Jungkook is stronger, but Taehyung is much faster as he loses him pretty quickly by hiding in an occupied lecture hall. The professor looks at him questioningly but he thinks fast and breathlessly asks the students, “Is Jeon Jungkook here? The headmaster is looking for him.” Some people search for him, but when no one makes a peep, he escapes the room and Jungkook’s wrath.

Now to go to your dorm before Jungkook scrubs off the ink…

“I didn’t know his name,” Soyeon murmurs while fidgeting with her fingers. When she came in the room, you were muffling your sobs with your pillow and all she saw was your jerking shoulders. She tried to comfort you, to hug you, but you weren’t exactly being friendly, and the setting is pretty much the same except she’s sitting on your bed while you still cry. “I asked people what he looked like, but it was just a description of every guy in the room. He wasn’t around for them to point at, and so I thought maybe he didn’t come. Then this guy kisses me on this couch, feels guilty about it, and tells me his name. I-I didn’t know it was Jungkook. He left for you anyway…”

Her attempt at consolation is fruitless because it only makes you cry harder. She rubs your back soothingly before standing up. “I’ll check up on you later. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” You nod against your stained pillow. 

The moment she opens the door, Taehyung’s fist misses her head by an inch. “Oops,” he says before gently pushing her aside by her shoulder and entering. His eyes fall on your fetal position first thing and he pouts at you. “Aw, baby—”

“She doesn’t want to talk right now.”

“I’m good company,” he dismisses her with a flick of his wrist, “you can go.”

She rolls her eyes before shutting the door, and it’s only you and him now. Your hiccups fill the room as he sadly watches you, a quiet sigh leaving his mouth. “I tried to tell you. Well, I tried to get him to tell you.”

“Y-You said,” you snivel against the sheet, “th-that he was whipped for me.”

I said that to get you to open up. Even in his head it sounds cruel, so he rethinks his response with a grimace. “Jungkook told me he liked you.” Maybe shifting the blame wasn’t exactly much better, especially since he told him that after the claim, but you have enough on your plate.

“H-He told me he loved me,” you hiccup, releasing your death grip on the poor pillow. It’s a mask rather than a silencer now. Taehyung widens his eyes to himself and purses his lips. He takes Soyeon’s former seat and turns you on your back. His heart sinks a little when he sees your face: red nose, heavy lids, bloodshot eyes and quivering lips with messy hair. You look really pretty to him right now. “He lies so much. H-He even made me give Jimin a handjob.”

“Made you?” he repeats with his thumb drawing circular patterns on your collarbone. 

You nod. “It’s a long story, and I don’t want to talk about it. It was horrible.”

His brows furrow at your tone. “That’s so fucked up... Man, you need to avoid him.”

“Jimin?”

“Jungkook. That’s too twisted, even for him. You’re an angel…” his palm reaches for your cheek and his thumb continues its soothing motions. “You didn’t deserve it.”

“Thank you,” you mouth and fresh tears brim as you try to swallow. It feels like you’re sick all over again, except there’s no misunderstanding to clear this time. He wipes a stray teardrop and smiles down at you; it’s a relaxing gesture. You close your eyes and hold onto his wrist, snuggling into his warm hand.

“I sound really cheesy, don’t I?” he chuckles. “Can’t lie, wish I had someone call me an angel after I caught my ex cheating on me.”

An involuntary giggle erupts from your mouth at his joke. “You’re an angel, Taehyung. An angel in disguise.” You peek at him before fluttering your eyes shut again. A pursed smile graces his lips, and he’s convinced he isn’t interested in you romantically, that it was just an invisible force drawing him closer to you, that he wasn’t the one aiming for your lips until a pound on the door resounds in the room.

You flinch away from his hand and he pulls back instantly; both of your heads shoot to the source of the noise. 

“Open up!” Jungkook yells and continues fisting the door. “Open the fucking door!” Taehyung holds a finger against his lips, signalling you to stay silent until he leaves. “I want to talk. Open the door… please.” Neither of you say anything.

“Fine,” he agrees, “don’t talk. I’ll talk, but at least give me a sign that you’re here.” Before Taehyung can stop you, you rush to the door and knock once. You hear him slide down the door, presumably leaning his back against it and sitting on the floor. “Okay. I’m sor— They were lying—” you slam your fist against the door in denial. “Okay! But they weren’t telling the whole truth back there. I was um… on drugs. I was really fucking high, okay?”

“Yet your high-self still managed to yell at me! Clearly you weren’t high out of your mind,” you snap menacingly. He flinches at your sudden shut-down; he’s never heard you yell at him before, nor has he ever been the victim of your anger. It makes his heart drop.

“That was like, three hours after I got high! I was practically sober, plus, you weren’t talking to me that day!”

“I had lost my voice! I didn’t want you to get sick—"

“I DIDN’T FUCKING KNOW THAT!” 

He gulps at your silence and inhales a deep breath to calm down. He hears you sniffle on the other side. “I-I didn’t know that. You wouldn’t kiss me, wouldn’t talk to me, and I didn’t know why. I thought you stopped loving me and… that really upset me.” He sighs to himself because he’s never opened up so honestly and it’s difficult, but he doesn’t exactly have a choice. It just feels so embarrassing.

Taehyung opens the window of your dorm and climbs out. You don’t see or hear it happen, too invested in your argument to even remember his existence. “Do you remember what I told you the night we did it for the first time?”

His face scrunches as he tries to replay the events beside the sex. The corner of his lip tugs upwards when he recalls you calling him a slut, but he’s still clueless as to why you’re bringing it up. You don’t leave him in the dark for long. “I told you I wouldn’t forgive you a second time.” He gnaws on his lip as his palms feel clammy with nervous sweat. 

“W-We weren’t dating then,” he tries to justify. “I didn’t need forgiveness then. You’re so unfair!” He stands up and knocks with his fist again. “Let’s talk it out face to face, I’ll explain everything. You’re putting me at a disadvantage! Don’t you want clarity? Don’t you want this to work out?!” He starts chanting your name when you don’t answer. “I will break down this fucking door if you don’t open it,” he doesn’t sound nearly as intimidating as he usually does when threatening; he sounds more like he’s a second away from breaking down himself. “No, no… please. I-I’ll kiss another girl if you break up with me! You don’t want that, right? So just open the door.” 

His tough façade crumbles the longer you ignore him, and he can’t believe the heavy weight he feels all over his body wants to leave in the form of tears. It stings in his eyes but he doesn’t dare let them fall. “You’re so fucking cruel!” He twists the door handle violently; desperately. A dry sob escapes him as he kicks the door one last time. “Oh God, oh God…” he tries to breathe but it doesn’t enter his lungs. It’s like being choked with a noose as he gasps and a tear runs down his cheek. His wheezes become so loud that you start hearing them and grow concerned.

You consider the possibility that it’s one of his tactics, trying to manipulate you, but you open the door anyway. It’s a slight crack and you barely get a look at him before he pushes it open completely and forces his way in. He sits on your bed and his shoulders hunch, breaths still shallow. “I didn’t mean it. I don’t like her, never did, I only— I was mad, and I couldn’t go through with it, and I’ve never shown you affection b-because I’ve only ever received it from you—” you hush his rambling with a hug, but he continues with his head against your stomach anyway, “I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m a fucking mess and I understand why you wouldn’t want to be with me, but please don’t leave me. I’ll do my homework, I’ll stop being mean, I won’t even talk if you don’t want me to, but please don’t stop talking to me.”

“Jungkook…” you trail in shock. “I’m here. Take a deep breath.” When he tries, it’s so shaky that it makes you tear up for the umpteenth time. You’re a mess with him. “In and out, love, in and out.” You would do it with him like an instructor, but it’s not possible when he’s squeezing your waist so tightly. It takes a few minutes for him to relax his grip and he looks up at you pitifully. “It’s okay,” you assure and pet his hair, “you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you most,” he exhales. “I mean… I realized that night, that I only want to be with…”

“I get it,” you whisper to comfort him, knowing he has struggles with expressing himself, but he doesn’t stop. He wants to get it off his chest, and he quietly tells you, “I kissed another girl when I wanted to make you jealous, and then another to forget. I don’t want to do that, I mean I only want to kiss… you.”

You initiate it first by leaning down to peck his lips, and you don’t pull away too far. You peck him again, and then start kissing him. He’s never been this slow with you before, but the panic attack must have drained him. It’s the way that he doesn’t immediately turn it heated with the intent of taking it to the third base that warms your heart. He’s hesitant and taking his time, mindful of your reactions because you’re in control for once. You’re aware of how vulnerable he is being with you, and he conveys that with the gentle press of his lips. 

He whimpers into the kiss, and it’s so quiet and mournful that you lean back but he chases after you. He doesn’t want to stop like you’d assumed, so you place your knees on either side of him and hover over his thighs. Even his hands are hesitant as he lightly sits you down on his lap by pulling your waist. You smile against him and with his submission, you swipe your tongue across his lip. He opens for you. You roll your tongue around his, and he eventually begins to suck on yours. There’s a pit in your stomach that confuses you; is it arousal? Flattery? You feel so special because you know he hasn’t been like this with anyone else; so powerless and passive.

It’s passionate. You inch your body a little closer to him and he grunts when you brush against his crotch before settling down. This isn’t about sexual needs, and you don’t treat it as such but your body has a mind of its own with its constant shuffling that turns him on. He doesn’t want to feel that way, but his hips have a subtle way of thrusting beneath you. His hums rumble and you kiss him harder, losing all your senses except for the warmth of his skin. You don’t notice him controlling the movement of your hips because he’s taking it slow, and you don’t need to know why he’s quietly moaning into you.

At least no one’s watching him now. 

You pull back in surprise when he groans loudly, and you know he’s back to himself as his actions grow rough. You’re practically jumping when he grinds on you with his spit all over your mouth because of his explorative tongue. From past experience, you’ve figured out that Jungkook is more honest when he’s in the heat of the moment, so you inquire against his lips, “Why did you lie to me about Jimin?”

“That fucking freak,” he growls, “I needed a reason to get you to hate him. He didn’t stop you when it happened, did he?” 

Still manipulative. “Will you do the same with Taehyung?”

“No, I,” his thrusts slow down, “I’m gonna, err…” He looks at you for help.

“You’re gonna be a good boy and talk things out with him, right?”

“Right,” he breathes, “talk.” He slams his lips against yours again, and it’s not long before he sighs at his climax with your cooperation. There’s a small patch growing on his pants through his underwear, and he cusses when he notices it. He pecks you one last time before hugging you and laying on the bed, cuddling you like a blanket. “Do you forgive me?” 

You rest your head on his chest and feel his pulse to contemplate. He brings a hand up to your hair and starts running his fingers through it, unbothered by your lack of answer. “I’ll make it up to you,” he says. “Do you…” he clears his throat, “do you maybe want to have dinner with me?”

“Like a date?” you tease with a grin.

“Yes.”

“There’s my answer,” you lift your head to wink up at him. “But if you test me again, I’ll break your heart just as you did mine. Don’t worry though,” you whisper, “I’ll never leave you.”