#this has been sitting in my drafts for a few days now
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Hi I really love your writing! Not sure if you are taking any prompts, no worries if not!
I was wondering if you could something with Melissa x reader similar to Janine and Gregory where they both work at the school and maybe the reader is dating someone but they have a moment like the club scene or PECSA weekend.
Hope you're having a good day lovely human!
Not dead! Nor have I given up on writing or filling the prompts I still have to fill! But a weird thing did happen - I went to a hypnotist show with friends thinking I wouldn't be affected... Long story short, I remember the first fifteen minutes of the show. Apparently, I was in the show for the rest of it. So that was a thing. But that's not the weird thing. The hypnotist said that a side effect of his hypnosis is often a better ability to focus, a quieter mind and less anxious thoughts. I have to hand it to the man, his words seem to be true. An unexpected side effect of this for me though is that it turns out the noise and chatter in my mind actually helps me write my fics. Now it's all a bit quiet in there and it's been hard to get the words out. But, that doesn't mean I don't still love writing - so we're pushing through.
I do have a confession though - this story has two prompts noted at the top of it in my drafts and although I can't find any evidence that I've posted it under either prompt, if I have already posted this and somehow have missed it, please let me know and I shall take the duplicate down.
Anyway, enough about me. Enough rambling. I hope you enjoy!
*~*
It would be easier if she wasnât nice to you.Â
If she wasnât nice to you, she could just be the untouchable, hot as hell, fiery goddess you admired from afar.Â
But no. She let you sit with her and Barb at lunch. She even brought you lunch after a few conversations had strayed into discussing cooking and favourite recipes during said lunch breaks.
How were you meant to get over your ridiculous crush when she actually gave you the time of day? When she smiled like that? When her whole face lit up and she gestured so animatedly when she got caught up talking about something?
And as if that wasnât enough, how were you ever meant to recover after seeing her so soft with her students? Going out of her way to open up to them and help them.Â
It was ridiculous, though. You knew that. What good was ever going to come of it?Â
Kid. Thatâs what she calls you. Itâs a constant reminder of the age gap between you. Of the chasm that you feel you canât even begin to cross when she sees you as some eager little kid.
Youâve always had a thing for older women. From those early, confused days of watching your on-screen idols, to realising you didnât want to be them. You didnât want to be friends with them. You just wanted them.Â
You want one in particular, but as you look across at her, her red hair ablaze in the sunshine, you force those feelings down once more. If friendship is what sheâs offering youâre not about to beat her with that olive branch. Youâll deem yourself lucky and move on.
Even if she has ruined you for anyone else.Â
*~*
âYou know,â drawled Barbara. âItâs beginning to become a habit.â
âWhat is?â asked Melissa, turning to face her friend with a frown.Â
âStaring at her,â said the older woman, eyebrow raised.Â
The red head scoffs. âAs if. I donât know what you think youâre seeing but that ainât it.â
*
It was all said in jest to begin with. Gentle teasing about a few wayward glances. That was until Barb started to see her best friend be genuinely nice to you.Â
To begin with, she tolerated you. You werenât one of the eager little puppies she so often saw when it came to younger new hires. That much was evident from the start. You were an old soul. You carried a different energy.Â
One that Melissa apparently appreciated just as much as the view. Barb stood beside her the red head as they watched over the kids leaving school, keeping an eye on the them as they left for the day, making their way to busses, rides or parents. Or rather, Barb was keeping watch over the children. A quick glance at Melissa confirmed that her attention was directed at you where you stood a little way off, chatting happily with a young girl about the book she was waving at you as she waited for her mother to collect her.Â
âGirlâŚâ
âDonât,â sighed Melissa, crossing her arms across her chest.Â
That took Barb by surprise. She had expected the red head to deny it. âYou mean?â
âItâs stupid. Sheâs some pretty young thing and IâmâŚolder than I care to admit.â
Turning to look at her friend, her expression sad, the older woman reached out and placed a comforting hand on the other womanâs arm. âAnd? Whatâs it called? A Spring, Winter romance?â
âMay, December,â corrected Melissa automatically. âBut same thing.â
âExactlyâ said Barb. âThereâs a name for it and everything. Itâs a thing.â
âItâs not a thing,â huffed the red head, turning on her heel and heading back into the building. âItâs stupid and Iâll get over it, just like I do everything else in my life.â
*~*
Youâre not sure youâre entirely on board for PECSA.Â
Out of school, things are different. Lines are blurred and youâre seeing a whole different side to your colleagues. Youâre not sure if itâs liberating or terrifying. And thatâs before you add in the factor of the other teachers who have also been set free from the constraints of the classroom and are now loose in the wild.
Youâre sure your confusion must show on your face, particularly when at the end of one of the breakout sessions you find yourself caught up in conversation with a striking older woman who teaches at another school across town.
You donât see Melissa at first, who watches the interaction with interest. Sheâs not used to seeing you outside of school, and it takes her back to realise that the woman is flirting with you. Openly and blatantly flirting with you. Sheâs touching your arm, leaning into you. Smiling and laughing.Â
In return, you know youâre blushing something terrible, especially when the woman hands you a page from her notebook with her number scrawled across it. Watching the woman walk away, throwing you a smile over her shoulder to you, you finally see the red head standing in the doorway where she said sheâd meet you so you could head for lunch together.
âShe not a bit old for you?â she asks as you approach, your blush still heating your cheeks.
You frown. âIf she looks like that and thinks Iâm hot enough to give me her number, theyâre the numbers Iâm interested in,â you reply, heading in the direction of the lunch buffet.Â
Barb overhears the comment, unable not to smirk at your flash of sass. âJealous?â she asks, leaning into the red headâs space.Â
âOf what?â barks Melissa, crossing her arms across her chest as she watches you go. âOh leave off!â she snarks at the older womanâs raised eyebrow.
*
How the day has gone from serious talks and breakout sessions to cocktails by the pool youâre still trying to wrap your head around. Adjusting your cover up, you head around the side of the pool, heading for the bar. You hope the day starts to feel a little bit more normal with a drink in your hand.Â
Gazing out over the water, you catch sight of Melissa. Or rather, you catch sight of a lot more of Melissa than youâve ever had the privilege of seeing before. Not looking where youâre walking as your eyes drink in the magnificent view thereâs no saving yourself as you step forward and your foot finds water instead of concrete.
âIs that?â Melissa asks incredulously at the dramatic splash that comes from the other side of the pool. Sheâs up out of her lounger before Barb can comment and the older teacher can only watch on in amusement as the red head storms off in your direction.Â
You pull yourself out of the pool, allowing yourself to perch on the edge as you try your best to ignore the chuckles of those around you who have noticed your mishap.Â
âWhat the fuck happened?â
You look up and of course Melissa is there. Right there, lit up in the sun like an angel, red hair haloed around her head. It takes a moment to realise that her eyes are roving over you, and not just your face. You glance down where your cover up now clings to your skin, almost see through.Â
Looking up you see Melissa blink rapidly a few times before offering you a hand. You reach for her, smiling as she helps pull you to your feet. âThanks,â you smile sheepishly. âI guess I should go change.â
âItâs a pool, youâre allowed to be a little wet,â the red head smirks back at you. âBesides, weâre this close to the bar now, be rude not to take advantage.â
*
Melissa appears at the bar next to you with a huff, grumbling under her breath. Her attention is focused on trying to get the attention of the barman. Mumbling though she is, sheâs speaking just loud enough for you to make out what she was saying.Â
âHe was an ass,â you tell her, watching as her head whipped around, finally realising you were there.Â
âWhat?â she asks with a frown, already tipsy.Â
âYour ex,â you enlighten her. You may not have heard the comment that led to her current dip in mood, or ever have met the man, but you know enough.
Her frown only deepens. âYou donât know a thing about him.â
âI know he didnât appreciate what he had and left you,â you offer, ordering a drink when the barman appears in front of you, before turning back to Melissa to ask what she wants. You find her looking at you oddly, her expression unreadable. She quickly snaps out of it and barks and order at the bartender.
*
Barb has had more than a few drinks, it would appear as she flags you down to sit with her as you pass her table.Â
âSit, sit,â she smiles, trying to reach for your arm and push the chair out next to her at the same time in an uncoordinated matter.Â
Catching her hands, you still her as you slide into the seat beside her to placate her. Her gaze is a little unfocused, her words edging towards slurred. You hadnât quite realised how drunk she was, but then again, looking around the room, it would have been more of a surprise for her to be sober.Â
âDonât call that woman,â she tells you, leaning into your space.
âWhat woman?â you frown.
âThat woman who gave you her number,â says Barbara like itâs obvious.Â
You try not to think about the fact that for Barb to know, Melissa must have mentioned it. That itâs been on her mind enough to mention it to the older woman. âWhy not?â
âShe wouldnât like it.â
âShe gave me her number,â you point out. âI donât think she would mind.â
Barb shakes her head. âNot her. Her,â she says, nodding across the room to where Melissa is standing.Â
You cross your arms across your chest. âWhat has Melissa got to do with anything?â
Barb raises a single eyebrow, the action still smooth and effective despite her drunkenness and it makes you blush.Â
Averting your gaze, you shake your head. âIt doesnât matter what I feel,â you sigh. âSheâs notâŚShe thinks Iâm some stupid kid.â
What you donât see, is Melissa standing close enough behind your chair to catch your words.
*
Somewhere after speaking to Barb you decide that trying to be the sober parent of your little Abbott family just isnât working. Youâve lost track of most of them, and honestly, youâve given up trying to find them. Theyâre all adults and can fend for themselves.
You still have eyes on Barb and Melissa though, the former dancing up a storm and the latter apparently winning an ill-advised drinking competition.Â
Not that you can judge, of course. You know youâve drunk more than you should, feeling pleasantly buzzed from your seat in the corner of the bar. You should call it a night before you do something youâll regret, like call the woman Barbara told you not to. Sober, you wouldnât. Drunk, youâre flattered enough and wouldnât say no to the company.Â
With a sigh, you push yourself up out of your seat and head towards the elevators. Pushing the button, you watch the numbers light up as the lift descends. You squeak in surprise when a strong pair of hands land on your hips, turning you around as a plump pair of lips meet you own.
âI donât think youâre some stupid kid.â
You blink slowly a few times, taking in the woman before you. Melissa. Melissa Schemmenti just kissed you. You shouldnât, but you donât have it in you to deny yourself the pleasure of feeling her lips against yours once more. You kiss her back with enthusiasm, not protesting when she backs you into the elevator as it opens and moaning as your back hits the wall of the small metallic box, the weight of Melissa pressed against you.Â
Youâve always admired her curves. Pressed against you theyâre a dream.Â
The clearing of a throat far to close snaps you out of your living dream and you feel Melissa take a step back, biting her lip as she guiltily throws a glance over her shoulder, registering Barb standing in the elevator, her back to you both as if she hasnât just witnessed exactly what you were both doing.Â
Standing close, you grin at the devious smirk being aimed your way by a certain red head. Thereâs a dangerous glimmer of mischief in her eyes. Smudged lipstick and mussed hair from where you hands couldnât help but run thought it complete the look. The woman is a work of art.Â
You look up as the elevator doors chime open, realising this is your floor. Stepping forward, you slip past Barb, who merely raises an eyebrow. You throw a look back at Melissa, who sways forward as though to follow you, before hesitating.Â
The doors slide shut, and honestly, itâs probably for the best.
You miss the dark chuckle Barb lets out as the lift begins to ascend once more.
âWhat you laughing at?â asks Melissa, scowling. Sheâs annoyed with herself for hesitating. She knows what she wants, and she just let it walk out of the elevator.
âYou two think youâre subtle?â the older woman drawls. âShe has more of your lipstick on than you do.â
*
If PECSA was party central the night before, it was hangover central the morning after. Youâre sitting outside on the low wall, sunglasses firmly in place, your phone in one hand and a bottle of water in the other as you take in the cool morning air.Â
âYou regret what happened last night?â
You turn to see Melissa, similarly attired. âWhat?â
She comes to stand beside the wall on which youâre sat, her gaze wandering anywhere but you as she speaks. âI came to your room last night. You didnât answer.â
âI didnât hear you,â you admit, watching as her head whips around. âToo busy throwing up everything I ever drank.â You feel the blush dusting your cheeks, but continue. This feels too important to let a little embarrassment stop you. You take off your sunglasses so she can see your face as you speak, âI have many regrets about my choices last night, but what happened in the elevator isnât one of them.â
A slow smile spreads across her lips as she shifts to take a seat next to you. She slips her own sunglasses off, finally letting you see her eyes. âGood to know,â she murmurs. âMe neither.â
You canât help but smile at that. You notice her gaze wandering and realise she staring at the phone still clutched in your hand.Â
âYou planning on using that number you were so interested in yesterday?â
âHonestly?â you ask, seeing the uncertainty in her face as she nods regardless. âThat woman was hot, and while I was more than a little flattered she gave me her numberâŚshe isnât a patch on you.â
Pale cheeks blush adorably pink at your words. Melissa isnât used to hearing things like what from you.
âDonât look so surprised,â you scoff, nudging her shoulder. âYouâve seen yourself in a mirror, right? And you neednât think I go falling in pools over every pretty woman I see.â
âI really distracted you that badly, huh?â she asks, a little of her confidence returning.
You bump her shoulder with yours once more. âShut up.â
A gentle hand moves to cup your cheek, turning you to face her as Melissa presses a gentle kiss to your lips. âFor the record,â she says quietly. âI donât think youâre some stupid little kid. I think youâre beautiful.â
You take in a shuddering breath. It all feels too good to be true. âWhat happens at PECSA stays at PECSA?â you ask sadly.
âIâve never been one for playing by the rules,â she smirks back at you, pressing another quick kiss to your lips before pushing herself to her feet and offering a hand to you. âCome on, we gotta go find Barb. Reunite her with her shoes, sobriety and sanity.â
You take the hand being offered like a lifeline, grinning as Melissa starts walking, swinging your joined hands between you. Itâs only as you pass through the front doors to the building that her words even register. âWait? Her shoes?â
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đ´đ˘ đŠđđś đĽđ˘đŻđ˘, đŁđŹđŻ đśđ˘đđŻđ° đŹđŻ đŁđŹđŻ đĽđŹđ˛đŻđ° / đ°đŹ đŠđŹđŤđ¤ đ´đ˘'đĄ đđ˘đ đŹđŞđ˘ đąđĽđ˘ đŁđŠđŹđ´đ˘đŻđ° đĽ
#ts4 edit#sims 4#ts4#historical simblr#ts4 historical#sims 4 edit#simblr#blood tw#injury tw#gif warning#decades challenge#a little teaser for what's coming this simblreen#if you saw al's uniform change no you didn't#this has been sitting in my drafts for a few days now and iâm too impatient to hang on longer
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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Random doodles
#my art#gtws#Grian#jimmy#hermitshipping#jimmy is dipping scar there#itâs a quick sketch so#DJFJFJGJF#this has been sitting in my drafts for a few days#im going to sleep now#tumbletimes
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forgort to post this bvjhdsbvjhdb its a bunch of doodles i dont like but look at my ocs boy i love them sm
#my art#my ocs#(ocs) starbenders#this has been sitting in my drafts for a few days now lol#sth#sth oc
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https://www.tumblr.com/pondrea/748403783611105280/dont-you-recognise-me
amazing art by pondrea (link above!!!) got me feeling things (the art is so good op!!!!!! đ) and now i need to yap about this scene lol itâs of the moment zexion disguised himself as sora to riku in com.
(i hope itâs ok to post the link here! let me know if not!)
iâm CONVINCED what zexion said to riku as sora this still haunts riku to this day. it wasnât even sora who said all that, but iâm sure the fear of how it played out in com actually playing out with the real sora scared riku to death. the fear of this happening led to him walking away from sora first, not even giving him the chance just in case there was a repeat scenario. sure, there was a lot of self hatred and feeling like he didnât deserve to see sora as well, but the look on rikuâs face tells you that this scarred him. this was his biggest fear. he rather fade to darkness than go through this again and isnât even willing to risk that it could go another way.
anyway, this is just context for what i actually want to talk about lmao
so this is probably one of worst moments for riku right? utterly rejected by his best friend and now that friend was willing to kill him for who he is now. and it wasnât even real.
but you know who that was real for? sora. in hollow bastion. utterly rejected by riku. his only means of defense taken, basically left to die. and then riku fought him tooth and nail until he lost and sora let him run away.
you know who got closure for their version of this scene? riku. he got it when sora fell to the ground on his knees in the world that never was, when he said he looked everywhere for him and told him he was still riku no matter what. sora told him exactly what he needed to hear to reassure him that sora didnât think any of things riku feared he did. sora telling him specifically that he was still riku no matter what showed riku that sora stills wants him around. even if he looks like their enemy and even if he did some real awful things, heâs still riku and thatâs enough. riku as he is is enough for sora. always has been.
you know who never got anything like that? sora. in fact, the conclusion that sora found to get him through is that heâs not enough. his friends are his power. alone, he has no strength. he only made it through by relying on a complete stranger he managed to befriend. if beast wasnât there or if he refused to go with sora, would he have survived? he had magic but that would run out eventually. would he have even made it to the room he fights riku in?
i donât think he thinks he wouldâve. in kh3, he says alone, heâs worthless. heâs held that sentiment this entire time. no one told him otherwise. (until rikuâs sacrifice but itâs murky about whether sora even remembers that at this point. but even if he does, it wasnât like the scene in the world that never was. sora was able to dictate exactly what riku needed to hear with no imminent threat and riku was not emotionally compromised like sora was in the keyblade graveyard. riku was able to process everything sora said. that is a far cry to sora screaming in agony over all his friends dying, sora believing wholeheartedly that he's nothing without them, and riku just saying he believes in him. sure, thats what sora needed in that moment to save everyone, but it's not a response to his fears and insecurities established in kh1 like how what sora says to riku is a response to his fears and insecurities established in com.)
at this point, i think itâs obvious that sora knows rikuâs changed from kh1 and that he doesnât believe the same things. sora knows he cares based on his actions and how he saved him too and we know as an audience how dedicated he is to him. but it fucks me up to think that riku got that verbal closure while sora never did. that riku got to start healing from that awful moment but sora really never did.
just,,,, please please please please let them talk about what happened in kh1 i am on my knees begging
extra thoughts: didnât think of this at first so sorry itâs a little disconnected, but maybe the reason riku is so horrified in that moment in com is because he realizes this is what he put sora through. maybe he made this connection himself and feeling what it was like to be on the other side of it, on soraâs side, horrified him. whatâs worse, in rikuâs mind, is that riku deserves to be in this position and deserves to be rejected due to his past actions. but sora never deserved it. maybe that contributed to why the self loathing spiral got worse after com.
#this has been in my drafts for a few days now because iâm afraid i forgot scenes where all this is addressed or iâm just wrong but#fuck it lmao#if i am wrong or forgot something lmk!!#otherwise#it drives me insane that there is still unresolved trauma from kh1#let my boy heal!!!!!#let him get closure!!!!!#i know riku loves sora so much but literally sora needs a moment so bad where riku sits him down#and says heâs enough heâs so much and more on his own#he needs to tell him his heart is strong not weak that he is more than enough just by himself that heâs so valuable and cherished and loved#tell him everything he needs to hear like he told you everything YOU needed to hear!!!!!!!!!!!!#sorry for all my rambling disconnected thoughts#kingdom hearts#sora#riku#soriku#i yap
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A Quick Meeting
Wanted to brush up on my writing skills by writing an interaction between Dennys sister Wrinley and Ashley. "Dennys" doesn't technically have any siblings in canon (As far as I'm aware) so I mixed in a little bit of Dylans canon lore in here for fun.
A buzz of the front door rang out through the apartment as Ashley stands there waiting outside on the welcome mat. It had been a fun month or so of hanging out consistently with Dennys and the others. They were originally going to meet up at one of the bars and grills in town for drinks that night but Dennys car gave out as soon as she arrived back home from work. With no car and the grill being too far to walk to, Ashley offered to pick her up at her place and go from there. But as he stands infront of her apartment door, he realizes this is technically the first time he's actually visited her apartment? Yeah, Denny has visited his apartment before a handful of times but has only stayed for a couple of minutes at best. The most time spent there was probably during his Mitski break down- Ashley stops himself for a second, scrunching his face at the sour memory.
Luckily for Ashley, he doesn't need to dwell on it for too long as the door opens up. Instead of the red head he was expecting, a shorter woman with brown curly hair and a curious look on her face greets him.
"Hello. Can I help you?" She says, peaking out through the cracks of the opened door way. "Uh, yes actually, Dennys lives here right?" Ashleys met with a puzzled look as he explains further. "Red hair, tattoos on her arms, face piercings?" It clicks for the girl as she realizes who he's talking about. "Ohhhh! You mean Dylan? Yeah, she lives here. You must be Ashley right?" She exclaims, opening up the door for him and ushering him inside. "Yeah, that's me. You must be her roommate?" The woman nods as she closes the door.
"Uh-huh! I'm Wrinley by the way, Dylans my sister." Wrinley continues as they lead Ashley into the living room. "She told me to let you in if you knock, she's still getting ready but I'll let her know you're here. Just hang out here, I'll go get her in a sec." With that being said, she quickly walks off deeper into the apartment. Ashley stands there awkwardly for a moment before sitting down on the couch. Dennys never mentioned she had a sister? Then again, she seemed pretty quiet about her personal life and he never bothered to ask about her family. Looking around the living room, it's a bit surprising how..Pink everything is? It wasn't in your face but a lot of the decorations were more on the pastel side of the spectrum. He assumed it was Wrinley who probably decorated everything.
"Dylans almost ready, she says they'll be out in about 5 minutes. Hope that's okay?" Wrinley appears as she plops down on the other side of the couch, a brownish cat hot on her tail before making itself comfy in her lap. "Oh, no that's fine, I can wait don't worry!" An awkward silence brews for a few moments before Ashley spoke up again.
"So, you're her sister? Never knew she had any siblings." He asked, trying to break the awkwardness between them.
"Yep! It's just me and Dylan so far here in the area, but she's been a good roomie. If you don't mind me asking, how'd you guys meet? She's mentioned she's made some new friends but she wasn't very specific, plus I'm kinda nosey and wanna know what she's up to." Wrinley admits, giving the small cat in her lap a few scratches as she listens.
"Oh, uh- We actually met at her work place a month or so ago, she was our waitress for the night." He explained, being vauge about the whole break up situation with Lexi on purpose. Wrinley might be Dennys sister, but he's not about to explain that whole situation with her just yet.
"Oh cool! I'm glad she's having fun. She's been much happier since meeting you guys I've noticed." She comments before continuing. "I know Dylan can take care of herself especially when she's out drinking, but make sure she gets home safe 'kay?" Wrinley points at him. "Don't worry, I'll make sure she comes back safe and sound." Ashley reassures her as Wrinley squints her eyes at him. She's quick to smiling again though as she responds. "Good! I'd hate there to be a missing persons report on the news with your name on it."
"Wait what-"
"Sorry about the wait, I had to look for my jacket. Are you ready to go?" Not a moment too soon Dylan makes her way over to the two. "Dennys, hey! Uh, yeah- Yes, lets get going." Ashley stammers out, still a bit irked by what Wrinley said. Dylan raises an eyebrow at the uncomfortable tension, giving her sister a look that Wrinley brushes off. "You two have fun! Text me when you're heading home 'Dennys', hehe." She teases, earning herself a playful roll of the eyes by Dylan. "I'll text you later Wrin. C'mon Ash, I need a good drink after todays bullshit." She groans, eager to down whatever alcoholic beverage awaits her at the Bar & Grill. After saying their good-byes, Ashley follows Dylan out to his car before heading off to meet up with the others.
"..Did Wrinley say anything weird to you while I was getting ready?" Dylan prodded during the car ride. Ashley hesitates for a moment. "...No, why?"
"Because I know how Wrinley is like and you get awfully sweaty when nervous." She points out.
"Okay first of all, I do not get that sweaty when nervous-"
"You do." Dylan teases with a smirk.
"SECOND OF ALL-" Ashley laughs. "Kind of? If threatening to put me on the news as a missing persons report counts as 'weird'-" Dylan snickers a little at that. "I wouldn't worry about it too much, she's a good person just protective is all. She wouldn't actually hurt anyone unless provoked."
"Good to know I'll live another day at least."
#escaped audios#my greasefire life#audio roleplay#asmr roleplay#simplytalks#This has been sitting in my drafts for a good few days now#I hope I didn't make Ashley too ooc oughh#It's been a hot minute since I actually wrote anything like this#Might try out writing again but with just Ash and Dylan next time#I liked writing out the lil banter they had lol#Also I'mma be fr I didn't know how to end this so if it sounds like it kinda falls off it's cause I didn't have anything to end it on#simplywrites
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so was anyone gonna tell me that Neil Newbon is the VA for Astarion or was i gonna have to find that out myself when he suddenly started uploading his playthrough of the game on YT
#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff#bg3#astarion#like??? as soon as i saw it i was like OH OF COURSE ITâS YOU!!!#like. i only have a surface level of knowledge abt Astarion from passively consuming otherâs posts abt being obsessed w/ him online#but i can tell that if i ever actually took the time iâd probably be rlly into the character#okay so Full Transparency- this post and the prior few tags have been siting in my drafts for the past 12 days#and i know Neil has been uploading his playthrough since even further back but i am late to everything okay it's how i am#and anyways in that time i have watched hours upon hours of Astarion scene compilation videos on YT#and i can now confirm- yes i am Really into the character lmao. like. Severely into the character#like. i'm-making-a-playlist-for-him-and-its-already-got-50-songs-on-it level of Into Him. it's over for me boys there's no turning back#i'm fixated. there's no saving me#like i have never dungeoned a dragon ever before in my entire life but this fucking man.#this man is making me wanna drop $60 and 150gb of my PC's storage space on a game i have no idea how to play#i think it could make for a fun recording experience. but idk if i'll actually do it. i'll sit on the idea for a while first#but Astarion's existence and the sickass character creation is calling my name. i think... it could be a fun time#not like i literally even have the time to dump into a massive game like that but i waaaant to. i kinda want to#anyways Seven found a new traumatized little blorbo to fawn over everybody watch out. a reblog storm may cometh#they couldn't have cast someone better for Astarion i stg#Seven stop falling in love with the characters Neil Newbon voices/acts as challenge FAILED#lmao now i'm thinking about putting BG3 Astarion and RE8 Heisenberg in a room together. could u fucking imagine#talk about taking the whole vampires vs werewolves thing to another level#Astarion isn't a True vampire and Heisenberg isn't even a fucking werewolf and that makes it so much funnier to me#just two old fucked up somewhat non-human guys. i'm genuinely trying to picture them interacting. how would it go#anyways i have been awake for 30 hours with only a 1hr nap in the middle. and i have just eaten a sinful amount of spaghetti#and am currently riding the high of finally having posted ch4 of ES. with no big responsibilities tomorrow. and so u know what time it is#time to be insane on tumblr until i pass out
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cĂ´me x felix: 3-9, for the ship ask game please!
Thanks a lot for the ask!! <3
3. What was their first impression of each other?
CĂ´me saw Felix enter his office and thought "Wow! I love his outfit!", to then go through the "He's really pretty" kind of thoughts. Felix did the whole hand kiss thing next and CĂ´me instantly knew they would get along well. Also, they're a bit oblivious when it comes to flirtation, so it took them quite a while to realize Felix was flirting with them.
Felix saw CĂ´me and the first thing that popped into his mind was "Omg! They're so small!" (CĂ´me is 5'1"). Then CĂ´me started being his sassy self and Felix quickly realized they were a little chaotic gremlin. His next thought was "omg, they're a little dumb" when he understood that CĂ´me had no idea he was flirting with them.
4. Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?
Both of them initiate affection and I don't think one does it more than the other. They're both very clingy and physical when it comes to expressing how they feel so they do it a lot, whether it's consciously or absent-mindedly. They'll hold hands when walking together, have a hand on the other's thigh when they're sitting together
But they're also really affectionate with their words. They never miss an occasion to compliment the other or offer encouragements. And pet names. They never run out of pet names.
5. Do they argue often? If so, what do they argue about?
They don't really argue often, they get in heated debates about random silly subjects, but it's almost never anything really serious.
But if they do really argue, it's often due to the fact that CĂ´me shuts down when something happens. They'll stop communicating and Felix can sense that there's something wrong but CĂ´me won't say anything. Until it all explodes.
6. How do they makeup/apologize after an argument?
None of them deals properly with being mad at each other, so making up is fairly easy for both of them.
CĂ´me will offer gifts, sometimes handmade, like a little crochet plushie, or sometimes it's something they found that made them think of Felix. And with the gifts come the apology.
Felix, I envision, does it through touch. He sits next to CĂ´me, testing the waters, trying to see if CĂ´me is okay with his presence, then he dares a bit more and gets closer until he engulfs CĂ´me in a hug.
7. How often do they say "I love you"?
They say both say it pretty often, but it's almost always at very random moments. It's like one of them does something stupid and the other has no other reaction than "I love you" coming out of their mouth. They just both know how they feel about the other and how the other feels about them, and they don't think there's any use to not say it out loud.
8. What do they love most about the other? Why?
For CĂ´me, it's Felix "brightness". It's the way he makes a room light up when he enters it, or the way he instantly lifts everyone's mood. Felix is a ray of sunshine who makes them feel warm and at ease, and CĂ´me can't help but fall for them a little bit more any time he smiles.
For Felix, it's the fact that CĂ´me is really easy to read. Everything they feel, or think shows on their face. But Felix finds it particularly endearing because CĂ´me persists in being all mysterious and hard to read, when they're the exact opposite.
9. What do they dislike most about the other? Why?
For CĂ´me, it's Felix's messy side. They're not a neat freak, but they've spent years in labs where you've got to keep everything sterile and neat and everything has to be in its place. And they're having a hard time shaking off that habit. So, they definitely scrunched their nose a little at Felix's 'organized mess' the first few times. But they'll get used to it.
For Felix, it's CĂ´me recklessness, especially when it comes to their body. CĂ´me has been skateboarding since they were a teen, so they're used to getting hurt and taking bad falls. They broke a few bones over the years, so they don't really freak out anymore when they fall and bleed, unless the bleeding doesn't really stop. But Felix always freaks out when they come home and they're all bloodied because they took a bad fall, or when they laugh it out when getting hurt during missions, and he doesn't really understand why CĂ´me isn't more concerned.
Ship ask game
#this took so much longer to answer than expected#5 & 6 gave me a really hard time hence the delay the ask has been sitting in my drafts for a few days now#but this was so much fun figuring out their dynamic#hope this was worth the wait!!#oc: cĂ´me hawthorne#cĂ´me x felix#ask game#grapeđ#ali's headcanons
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As payment for my sins and foolish behaviour, hereâs a drawing of me stuck in a glue trap.
#damn and i had so much to live for/s or /j#also i finished watching titanic last night#god the sinking is actually terrifying#how the fuck was me three years ago not scared#now i can figure out how the sinking is going to turn out#anyway have a good weekend!#this has been sitting in my drafts for a few days
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#told my roommate ive been depressed this weekend and she kindly offered to watch a movie but i knew shed be too tired and need to cancel#bc of the clocks changing and its ok i know how tired she gets i was the one to suggest it was okay if she cant + it was still a nice idea#but now im alone for the evening again ive been alone all weekend and weekends are the hardest for me and i thought i was feeling a little#better but im not and theres nothing to stop me from harming which is okay i keep it safe and its always a choice i make to do it or not#not anyone elses responsibility but i didnt want.to be alone tonight thats all. and offering something she knows she cant fulfil makes me#feel rejected too and i also wanted to talk abt some of her behaviour that upsets me sometimes but gently bc i dont want it to seem like#im blaming her bc its not her fault im so bad at communicating and neurotic and weird abt shit that doesnt even make sense#but its been bothering me for a really long time and it comes up again every time we meet with other people and i get really upset over it#and im the one that keeps putting off talking about it but its so hard when its been gping on so long and i find it so hard to express#anything and communicate especiallt when its shit like this but im so so so so tired of sitting on it i just want it resolved one way or#another and now i wont see her for a few days bc of this family trip and itll be on my mind the whole time and the thought is making me#feel insane already ive wasted so many hours and hours being upset by her and not being able to talk abt it i need it to stop its not even#that big a deal.it just is to me. and i dont know how to say anythign ever#and she wants to make plans with friends next weekend which feels like hoisting an anvil above my head bc if i dont go i risk having a#rejection sensitive episode bc im vulnerable rn and this is exactly what happened over the summer and it took me months to recover from but#if i do go ill get upset bc ill feel unwanted there and ill be dealing with the same issue that comes up every fucking time and either way#ill end up harming in response to it bc i cant handle how intense my emotions are and i dont have any better outlets right now#for these specific feelings and i dont want to do that i want to be a normal fucking human being who doesnt lock themself in a#stupid fucking iron maiden style repression over completely innocuous shit that no one would even know im reacting this way to#i cant do it i cant do thjs anymore i cant i want it to stop im so tired and it hurts so so much feeling so much like this#they should make a mind for me that is capable of not inflicting distress this intense on itself i need to explode#actually. maybe since i wont see her for a couple days i can write a long discord message about it instead. i know its a shitty way to#deliver information but maybe it would be easier that way rather than trying to summon the courage to say anything in person when im#usually actively upset abt it at the time and my immediate response to getting upset is to shut down and not express which doesnt help#and its so stupid but i need it to not be like this i cant keep living with her and getting so upset so regularly it has to stop now#ill think about itand maybe draft it. and then i can decide. but right now i need to eat. and pack. and then cut sorry. but its ok#ughhhhfdhf. please let this week be better ill try harder ill say something i have to im the one inflicting this on myself by not talking#about it!!!!!!!!! so. man and i think my dinner is cold now too. oh well#.vent#tw self harm
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Buttermilk
It doesn't take long to settle into the rhythm of your new summer job. Or: the babysitter x single dad au
Part 1 | masterlist
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âIâm not looking for a babysitter that can only come by every now and then,â he says sternly and pauses for emphasis, brows furrowing to convey the seriousness of the situation. âIâve got a busy schedule and his mom isnât in the picture. I need a real commitment.â
You sit across from him wringing your hands under the kitchen table, wondering again what it is youâre doing here. Babysitting has never been your schtick; youâre somewhere in between too old to do it as a casual gig for extra cash and too young and inexperienced to be considered for a full-time position.Â
Yet, it seems like thatâs what heâs looking for, based on the information heâs told you and your general impression from having been in his house for less than twenty minutes. The house is a messâtoys strewn across the babyâs bedroom and the living room, dishes crusted with day old food sitting in the sink, the bookshelf in his study covered in a fine layer of dust that tells you that this man spends so little time in his own house that itâs become something of a requiem to single fatherhood.Â
âSo, a nanny?â you ask.
He hems and haws over that for a bit. âBit too fancy for my tastes, but thatâs more like it. It wonât just be watching the babyâI need someone who can help out around the house as well. âUsed to run a tight ship before him, but cleaningâs not been my highest priority these days. Sure youâve picked up on that.â He says the last part wryly, lips curling up into a crooked grin under his mustache.Â
âWellâŚâ You trail off while glancing at the mess in the living room out of the corner of your eye, toys and blocks scattered over the playmat. Your own smile is sheepish.Â
âI work odd hours, so Iâll be gone a lot; youâll probably have a few late nights here, but I pay well. Think thatâs something you can handle?â
A polite refusal sits on the tip of your tongue until you swallow it back, suddenly conscious again of the dwindling funds in your bank account. Itâs not that you donât think you could handle the job. Youâve babysat before (only preteens, you correct yourself internally, but surely there are some transferable skills there). And, eclipsing all of your arguments in favour of walking out the door right now, is the very salient and pressing need for an actual income.Â
âYouâre military, you said?â you croak out instead.
He nods, hums. âBit of a glorified desk job these days. They donât put the old timers out in the field. Still, keeps me busy.â
You frown at that. âYouâre not that old.â
That gets him to cock an eyebrow. âLove, Iâm over twice your age, easy. Iâm plenty old for a first time father on top of that; shouldâve already been an old hand at this, but Iâve been married to the job for too long.â
You donât ask if the baby was an accident or how it came to be that he chose to raise the baby on his own rather than try to work something out with the mother or give him up altogether. It seems uncouth. Rude. Itâs none of your business and, more to the point, hardly relevant to the job. Itâs just your own insatiable need to pry and know every little detail raising its head to sniff the air.Â
âWell, I thinkââ You chew on your words and then backtrack. ââI can handle the job. I live nearby, so I can be here whenever you need me. If you need references, I canââ
âNo need,â he cuts you off, waving a hand in front of him. âIâm a good judge of character. If you wanna help put the baby to bed, we can talk salary and Iâll go over my schedule this week with you.â
The chair scrapes against the tile floor when he stands up, pushing it out from under him. Standing, he towers over you, a big, fit man despite his protests to the contrary. Hardly out of his prime. Youâd put him at forty-five at the latest, and still a work horse of a man at that; broad like a draft horse, like he flips tires and runs marathons for fun. When you push out your chair and stand as well, youâre still forced to look up at him.Â
âSure can, MisterâŚâ?â You realize with a slight start that you only remember his first name, though it hardly feels appropriate to call him by that given the fact that heâs about to become your boss. Already is your boss.Â
âPrice. But John works just fine,â he corrects, his smile warm, almost paternalistic.Â
You ignore the flash of heat up your spine and the way your belly constricts when he reaches across the table to shake your hand. His big, calloused palm dwarfs yours, fingers easily overlapping. You might as well be shaking a mitt.Â
âWell, thanks for the job, John,â you say with a smile of your own, ignoring the way yours strains at the end, anxiety already gnawing a hole through the lining of your stomach that your stomach acid will now most certainly leak through. âI wonât let you down.â
âI know you wonât, sweetheart.â
His words seem like a bellwether for something that you canât yet articulate or even anticipate. Regardless, they make you swallow reflexively when you start salivating out of nowhere. You should probably quit on the spot actually, just out of principle alone, but again you remember the gut-churning sensation of checking your bank balance in the middle of the grocery store the other day before putting half of the contents of your cart back onto the shelf beside you.Â
You follow him into the playroom instead, where a fuzzy headed infant gasps up at his daddy, blinking big lovestruck eyes up at him. Your own heart feels like a melted caramel in your chest when John picks his son up, eyes crinkling with affection. The baby is so tiny in his arms.
Any thought of being a good person evaporates from your mind. As if you ever had a chance.Â
You donât know how he found you. Through a friend of a friend of a friendâs dadâs coworker, maybe. Word of mouth. Watercooler conversation and a heaping cup of gossip.
âDid you hear the Captainâs looking for a babysitter?â
âFor what? To bang?â
âNo, dipshit. He knocked some broad up and she left him with the baby.â
âNo kidding. The Captain?â
âDidnât I just fuckinâ say that?â
âPrice, you mean? Captain Price?â
âAre you fuckinâ deaf? YeahâPrice.â
âChrist. Godspeed to him. A baby. Goddamn.â
âGive it a rest, it happens all the time. Thatâs why you always wrap it up. Anyway, you know of anyone thatâd be up for it?â
And then somehow, your name gets mentioned. Much to your relief. Job opportunities donât knock on your door all that often, and when John finally gets around to telling you your hourly rate, you almost burst into hysterical giggles in front of him. Itâs more than you expected. More than you deserve, if youâre being honest. Youâre retroactively grateful that he didnât ask you to name your rate because you wouldnât have dared propose something anywhere close to what he offers.
Itâs a straightforward gig. John doesnât work the typical nine-to-five, so you show up at the times he made you write down on that first day in his living room after your interview and you leave whenever he comes home. The first week is fairly true to the schedule he laid out for you. Heâs only late by around half an hour one evening, but that was another condition that he made you well aware of prior to giving you the job.Â
You know better than to put up a fuss. Youâre already learning on the job as it is; with your anxiety at a ten at all times, you appreciate the extra half hour to keep googling baby-specific information. What to do during tummy time. The benefits of baby massage. How to change a diaper. Youâre learning all sorts of things these days.
To your credit, he couldâve done worse. The day after John hires you, you sign up for an intensive babysitting course over the weekend and read the online manual front to back. Your CPR certificate is still valid, but you book a refresher course as well just to be on the safe side. Itâs a bit unbearable to watch the funds drain out of your account before youâve even had a chance to earn your first paycheck, but itâs worth it for the burgeoning confidence that you bring on your first day.
Babies are fun to be around, you realize, much to your own delight. Babysittingâor rather, nannying, but John still introduces you to the neighbours as his babysitter, plus nannying requires a host of additional accreditations that you simply just do not haveâmight not have been a job that you ever expected yourself to like, but you find yourself kind of morose at the end of each day when you have to say goodbye to baby, and even going so far as to turn in early when you get home so youâll be ready bright and early the next morning.
Babies also smell better than anything youâve ever smelt in your life. You could huff the top of this little guyâs head morning, noon, and night. Milky and clean; it barely takes a few days to become addicted to the smell of his little head. When heâs cradled in your arms, you canât help but press your nose to the top of his head and take a deep inhale, eyes fluttering shut. Itâs some good shit.Â
You keep a journal filled with notes to relay to John when he comes home at the end of the night and keep your phone close to you during babytime to film any important moments that John mightâve otherwise missed.Â
âHe started babbling today,â you tell John the second he walks through the door, the video already pulled up on your phone. You havenât felt this excited in ages. âLook.âÂ
Heâs still in his fatigues and everything, but he humours you and takes the baby when you pass him over, cooing and tickling his belly until the baby squeals and babbles again for him.Â
âSee?â you gush, mooning over him. You donât have the presence of mind to be self-conscious in the moment.Â
âYeah,â John remarks, lifting his son up to blow a raspberry into his belly and grinning at his ensuing peals of laughter. âAinât that something.â
If the smile in his voice has anything to do with you, you donât pick up on it.
On top of everything, John turns out to be a really good boss. Despite his gruff, intimidating exterior, heâs remarkably kind and patient with you. He doesnât nag you for missing a spot when cleaning the bathroom. He doesnât scold you the day your car breaks down and youâre forced to take the nearest bus to his place, tacking on an extra twenty minutes to your commute, even though that means that heâs invariably late for work. When you accidentally use scouring powder on the inside of his Le Creuset Dutch oven and scratch off the enamel, he gently talks you out of a sobbing fit, seemingly unbothered by the state of his scratched up crockery.
He shrugs when you bring it up. âItâs got a lifetime warranty anyway. Iâll bring it into the shop over the weekend. No use getting upset about it.â
Unflappable. Thatâs the word for it. Itâs like as long as heâs able to come home to the baby and you in one piece, nothing else matters, and that sense of calm permeates the whole house; for the first time in a long time, you donât feel like you have to walk on eggshells around someone.Â
Your only qualmâand itâs hardly even a qualm, to be honest, more of just an observationâis that John is more of a physical person than you are.Â
When he wants to move you, he doesâtwo big hands clamped around your waist and only a fraction of his strength to move you away from the stove so he can take over cooking while you check on the baby, your mouth hanging open, aghast. Fuming at his nerve. The gall of him to manhandle you.Â
You donât hold it against him though. You havenât spent much time around groups of men, but youâve seen military movies before and it seems like the status quo for men to grab and push each other around. If anything, heâs gentle with you.Â
Itâs just thatâand again, Johnâs the first adult man youâve spent any one-on-one time with, what with it just being the two of you and the baby in his house, so your frame of reference is microscopicâyouâre not completely sure whether itâs appropriate for your boss to be so touchy.Â
You donât mean to insinuate that heâs being inappropriate. Itâs just thatâand again you have to catch yourself before you go making assertions about people because John is honestly such a nice man and heâs done nothing but treat you fairly and made you feel safe and welcome, butâŚâsometimes he insists on you staying over for dinner after he comes home from work and doesnât take no for an answer.
Youâre never in any rush to leave. Thereâs not exactly anything waiting for you in your dingy little apartment. So when he asks you to stay, you have no good reason to refuse. Itâs nice to get a free meal as well. With the way John gives you unfettered access to the fridge and pantry, you hardly need to buy groceries at all these days. You feel a little guilty about that, but you know what itâs like to go hungry.
Maybe thatâs why you stay for supper the first time he asks a couple weeks into you working for him. Youâre subconsciously mortified that youâll eat his food when heâs not gone but not when he offers it to you.
At least dinner feels like something youâve been given rather than just taking, taking, taking.Â
Not to mention youâve developed something of a rapport. Thereâs always something to talk about with John: the baby, his work, a show you watched on TV after putting the baby down for a nap, the new big Tesco four blocks from your place, his late teens before joining the military (âback when you werenât even a thought in your mumâs head,â he jokes, cutting into his steak and something in your brain pops and fritzes out like the static between radio stations).Â
The first few suppers are sporadic and never long enough to make you feel like youâve overstayed your welcome. In all honesty, theyâre the few bright spots in an otherwise dull life. Outside of your job and the infrequent dinners, youâre estranged from your family and youâve only got a few close friends in town that you see maybe once or twice a month. Nothing to write home about. Some Friday nights, the yoga studio near your flat has a five pound community class that you pop in for, but those are infrequent too.Â
Then thereâs the odd night where he shoos you into the living room to put on a movie while he cleans up after dinner. You stare absentmindedly at his forearms when he rolls up his sleeves and then jump when you find him staring at you expectantly over his shoulder.
âGo put something on,â John tells you, a warning look in his eye. âDonât make me repeat myself.â
âSorry,â you whisper before slipping off into the living room.
You canât relax on the couch while you wait. You flinch when he finally joins you, sitting down on the other side of the couch suddenly. You hadnât even heard him coming; heâs light on his feet for such a big man.Â
The buddy cop comedy you picked barely distracts you from the fact that your boss is sitting on the other side of the couch. You spend the whole two hour run time so nervous that youâre afraid youâll buzz right out of your skin.Â
For absolutely no reason, of course, because all John does is make light conversation with you throughout the movie. Conversation that you respond to in curt, choked whispers. When he walks you to the door after the movie, all you can focus on is how utterly embarrassed you are for being so weird.
Your dreams that night come frantic and heady. Humid under the blanket. The phantom feeling of a body heavier than yours weighing down one side of the couch and you sliding towards it gradually, unable to even cling onto the arm of the couch to keep from falling into his lap.Â
Then hands on your belly, cupping and holding. Thick fingers with hairy knuckles. A warm, tobacco smell wafting under your nose, sweet like tonka bean and smoke. Nothing you can do to keep them from travelling down your stomach and thighs and spreading your legs wide, big hands curving around your inner thighs untilâ
You wake up panting, fingers pressed against your clit in your sleep. It takes nothing to bring yourself over the edge, dark blue eyes swimming on the precipice of your conscious mind.Â
âSleep well?â John asks you the next morning when you show up on his doorstep, handing you the baby before youâve even said so much as a word. You hold the baby to your chest like a makeshift shield. Anything to put some distance between you and the man who has now taken to starring in your dreams.Â
âNot bad,â you squeak.Â
You flinch when he guides you in with a hand on your back and shuts the door behind you. Your cunt pulses when his fingers press firm against the small of your back, hand bigger than you remembered from your dream.
As if you were ever going to end up anywhere but here.
#ceil writing#cod x reader#price x reader#price/reader#john price x reader#john price x you#john price/reader#captain price x reader#captain price x you
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Whatâs the most relaxing D&D race to play? I know a ton of people are big fans of tieflings, but I think I prefer a good ASMR
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đđđđđ¸đ
Discord 18+Â -Â Twitter - Part Two of Outlaw Series
Pairing: Outlaw!Suguru Geto x Female Reader Genre: Western AU WC: 8.7k Summary:
âGettinâ train tickets ainât easy. Where ya headed?â âJust a few towns over. Goinâ to visit family,â you explain, now more relaxed with him. Something about the way he was able to soothe your nerves makes Suguru feel proud. It also is making him clearly insane, because some sick part of Suguru begins to think he could be your family. If youâll let him. âWhat about you?â His brows shoot up in surprise. Why would you want to know about him? âMe?â You nod quickly. âI know youâreâŚâ You lean forward and Suguru mirrors the action as shivers race up his spine when you whisper scandalously, â...an outlaw.â
Story Warning: Train robbery, hostage situation, lying and scheming, profanity bc bitch it's me??, dub-con, Suguru has a corruption kink, needy downbad Suguru, "virgin" reader, guns, smut, blowjob, riding, fingering, spit, thinking about spitting, i love spit, dirty fantasies, titty sucking probably, using ropes, hair pulling (lmfaooooo), threats of violence, dirty talk, inexperienced reader, spit!, overstimulation, humiliation kink, Suguru is kinda pathetic, actually real pathetic, don't get your hopes up idk
Artist Credit: @/tsumusbeloved (on twitter)
A/N: FINALLYYYYY. This has been sitting in my drafts for like 3 months!!! I hope yall enjoy!!!
Tags: @syubseokie @yasu-1234 @cassayeee @glmpsfs @struxkbylightning @aotdump @oidloid @sunnysdiarythoughts @stillseren @lovebittenbyevans @avaatara @elliesndg @luv-kae @megtheebimbo @buttercupblu143 @toffeebrat @kaqua@moggleatlife @candy-s72 @sukunadckrider @xixflower @apchmon
Itâs the shrill screech of the metal meeting metal on the train tracks that Suguru enjoys most about his work. How this massive tank of metal carrying so many people can just fly across the country, providing beautiful views of miles and miles of desert sands and mountains. The wildlife roams free on the frontier without a care in the world. And the train just keeps going, filling the sky with thick curls of black smoke.
Yeah, this train has many people on it.
Which means, this train has plenty of goods that will soon be his.
âAh, you dropped your hat, boss.â A smooth voice speaks behind Suguru, holding open the train door as one other clambers in. Suguru kindly grabs his hat from the man, placing it atop his head as he watches his partner take the last personâs hand, lifting them inside.
Itâs a woman, small and with strawberry blonde hair. She grabs onto the man before her. The disgust is clear on her face as her eyes roam along his body.
âCouldnât pick another day to wear no shirt, Larue?â She complains, spreading a small cloud of dust as she brushes her clothes off.
Larue shrugs, chuckling lightly while he closes the train door. The rushing roar of the winds finally subsides. âItâs hot as all hell outside, Manami. Why not be shirtless? Besides, it gives everyone something spectacular to gawk at.â He motions towards his chest where his new set of ink lies â two hearts, one where each of his nipples are.
âA drunken bet gone right, if you ask me,â Larue had said the night after. âTheyâre gonna love these at the whorehouse.â
âIf you twoâre finishedâŚâ Suguru begins. Both Larue and Manami straighten up. âI wanna get in ân outta here. No funny business. Larue, take the back of the train. Better for you to be there in case the conductor gets any ideas. Grab what âya can get your hands on â jewels, shoes, money. Donât matter.â Suguru taps his chin in thought, running through his mental list to make sure he hasnât forgotten anything. âOh! And donât forget to check the bars for any spoons or forks. Yâknow what that silverâs worth. Me ân Manami will take the front of the train.â
Larue nods, no further instruction needed and Manami smiles next to him excitedly. She quickly shuffles over to Suguruâs side, looping her arm through his and Suguru rolls his eyes before slipping his arm out of her hold. Manami shoots him a pouty look before she quickly recovers, folding her arms over her chest.
âAlright, Boss. Iâm ready.â She says with a hushed tone. Larue gives one more nod before he turns around and heads the opposite way. He slides the door slightly ajar, peering inside and just after he enters and the door has been shut and locked, Suguru and Manami hear the muffled shrieks of the passengers in the car.
âHands in the fucking air! This is a stick up!â
Suguru peers down at Manami who is already staring up at him with eager eyes. And it takes everything in Suguru to not roll his eyes in response. She really gets on his last nerve.
âI gotta get rid of her after this one,â he thinks as he moves past the woman and into the opposite end of the train.
He slips through the door, closing it quietly behind Manami once sheâs in. No one bothers to look up when they come in and Suguru counts his lucky stars that this will be easier than he anticipated. They make their way along the aisle, offering soft smiles to the passengers that happen to look up as they pass. Suguru thinks thereâs nothing but a bunch of carefree monkeys too relaxed and stupid as all hell on this train. They donât even know whatâs coming and if they know whatâs good for them, they wonât bother to fight back when they find out.
He lets Manami do the work of maintaining a mental checklist of every item worth its salt in this train car. This is where heâll leave Manami to do her part. Then Suguru will take the final car where the stragglers usually reside. Larue is already taking care of everything in the back. When heâs done, heâll pile up all the goods in an empty car and then make his rounds to grab what Manami and Suguru collect.
When they reach the end of the current car, Suguru turns to Manami who is already reaching into her blouse. She beams, eyes locked on Suguru as she slowly pulls out a pretty little Coltâs revolver. Her lips pull up at the corners, a sly grin on her face. If itâs meant to be alluring to Suguru, itâs not working. In fact itâs having the opposite effect. Itâs so annoying, the way her pupils dilate when she looks at him. Itâs only been a few months since Manami joined their group, but itâs only getting worse for Suguru. She spends half her time trying to seduce him and failing. And itâs not that Manami is unattractive. Sheâs a very beautiful woman, but sheâs not exactly Suguruâs type.
Heâs looking for someone a bit moreâŚinexperienced when it comes to this life of crime. Someone he can mold into his ideal woman, untouched by the roughness that west has to offer. Manami has been doing this for far too long, and already has habits that consistently get under Suguruâs skin. Sheâd never interest him that way.
The pink haired woman flashes Suguru her gun, pointing her chin towards the last car as a signal for him to go on. Suguru nods, spinning on his heel and heading towards his destination. And just in time too, because he hears the door on the other end of the train car close and he knows Larue has finished and has come to assist Manami.
The train car slides shut behind Suguru right as he hears the passengers scream in the car behind him. Itâs louder than the first instance and catches the attention of the passengers in his car who now stare at him with wide eyes, mouths agape like a sea of fish.
Suguru rubs the nape of his neck, frowning. Then, offering a goofy grin, he mutters, âAh wellâŚâ He reaches behind him, wrapping his nimble fingers around the cool, wooden handle tucked into his waistband. He whips out his revolver, the sun glaring off of the fancy gold weapon as Suguru aims it at the passengers who all shriek in terror. The women clutch their jewels. The men hold onto their women. And Suguru? He laughs raucously before he barks out, âPut âem up!â
- - - - - -
Itâs a little surprising how easily the heist goes, but Suguru tries not to give it too much thought. You start thinking somethingâs gonna go wrong and it damn sure will. While Manami is guiding passengers into the back cars, Larue has the conductor held hostage, locked away with threats of a bullet to his skull unless he continues driving. Heâd only shown his face and quickly hid away in his cabin when Suguru told him to use his fucking brain unless he wanted it splattered across the window.
Now, Suguru finds himself roaming the cabin to see if there are any stragglers. And there is one. A very beautiful woman, at that. There you sit, in the last seat of the train car. He slowly makes his way over to you. Suguru thinks you must be some type of saloon girl. Your pretty little dress and waist neatly cinched in a leather corset is the giveaway. He glances over his shoulder, just to be sure this cabin is empty, only to find that it truly is only himself and you left. He hates having to wrangle the stragglers. Thatâs Manami and Larueâs job. And Suguru hates it even more when theyâre not doing it.
He tightens the grip on his gun, turning to give you an earful until his eyes meet yours. Theyâre so wide and glistening, like youâre on the verge of tears. Your lips are quivering, your bottom lip protruding in a pout. It reminds him of the look Manami gave him just before the heist started. Except when coming from you, for some reason, itâs bringing out a different reaction.Â
His heart rate quickens, and Suguruâs hands suddenly feel clammy and not from the heat in this train car. He can feel sweat beginning to bead on his forehead and he has to swallow to quell the dryness thatâs forming in his throat. Then heâs tucking his weapon away into his holster and moving towards you.
âI beg your pardon, maâam,â Suguru speaks calmly as he takes the seat in front of you. You peer up at him, with apparent fear in your eyes and he wants nothing more than to see that look disappear. Usually, heâd use force to get you out and rounded up with the rest of the passengers. Heâs not sure why, but thereâs something about you that makes Suguru want to take care of you. âWhy didnât you leave with the rest of the crowd?â He questions.
Youâre fidgeting with the fabric of your dress in your lap, visibly shaken even as Suguru removes his hat and sets it on the seat in front of you before he sits down.
âIââ you clear your throat and bite down on your lip, seemingly to calm your nerves.Â
âIâm not gonna hurt ya, maâam,â he tells you softly, reassuring you. âJust wonderinâ.â Suguru takes this time to drink in your features â how soft you look, the way your body so beautifully fills that dress of yours, how youâve got a face that will be burned into his memory long after this encounter.
And for some reason, it also feels as if it was burned into his memory long before this encounter. Thereâs a familiarity about you that Suguru canât quite place. Heâs certain heâs seen your face somewhere. He had been through many saloons and brothels in his time traveling the frontier. Perhaps he had run into you in one of the many establishments he frequented?Â
No. No, Suguru would remember if he saw a woman who looked like you in any of those places. You would have easily stood out in the crowd. He would have called you up to his room on any of those nights.Â
You bite down on your lip as you stare at Suguru. As afraid as you look, you donât break eye contact. To see you so stricken with fear, and yet you steadily look him in the eye without blinking. You show courage even when faced with danger, and it does something to him.Â
The look on your face has him picturing all sorts of things about you and he doesnât even know your name.
âI was afraid,â you mutter quietly.Â
Thankfully so, because Suguru was just about to begin imagining a life outside of crime with you. Which is shocking in and of itself. Three minutes of simply staring at you had him visualizing a future on the prairie hanging laundry on the line while you fed the cattle.
âKeep it together.â
âDonât be scared. Iâm not gonna hurt nobody,â Suguru reassures you again. He tries to calm your nerves with a smile which seems to work because he sees you visibly exhale. You return his gesture with a small smile of your own, and his imagination runs wild once more.
âPromise?â You ask, Suguruâs smile widens.Â
âCute,â he thinks. He wants to see more of those. âI promise, sweetheart.â
He can hear the way you huff, something between a laugh and a sigh of relief. And Suguru finds himself becoming more and more infatuated with you as he keeps the conversation going.
âGettinâ train tickets ainât easy. Where ya headed?â
âJust a few towns over. Goinâ to visit family,â you explain, now more relaxed with him. Something about the way he was able to soothe your nerves makes Suguru feel proud.
It also is making him clearly insane, because some sick part of Suguru begins to think he could be your family. If youâll let him.
âWhat about you?â
His brows shoot up in surprise. Why would you want to know about him? âMe?â
You nod quickly. âI know youâreâŚâ You lean forward and Suguru mirrors the action as shivers race up his spine when you whisper scandalously, â...an outlaw.â
He leans back, rubbing his chin thoughtfully while he purses his lips together. His gaze is locked onto you because he wonders if youâre up to something. If youâre not as sweet and innocent as you look. But when you lean back and flutter your lashes at him, he begins to doubt it. That sweet face of yours is a rare one to see on this side of the wild west; beautiful and unscarred. You donât look like youâve been exposed to anything more dangerous than a thunderstorm. And itâs arousing. The air of innocence that you carry has Suguru shifting in his seat, his pants suddenly feeling tighter.
This is exactly what heâs been wanting. Someone opposite of Manami, someone who is interested in his life, but not involved with crime in the least. As far as he can tell, youâre clean as a whistle. And Suguru likes to think heâs good at reading people.
âNever seen a outlaw before?â He drawls. You shake your head, back to messing around nervously with your dress.
âNever,â you answer softly, batting those pretty, long lashes at him. âOnly seen âem on signs. WantedâŚdead, or alive.â
Oh, you really are sheltered.
âWell, now youâve seen one in person.â Suguru combs his fingers through his dark tresses, grinning like his criminal status is one to be proud of. To him, he supposes it is. âWhat dâya think?â
You do that lip biting thing that Suguru is beginning to realize he finds cute. Maybe itâs a nervous tick, but this time it seems itâs to be you holding back a smile. Everything you do is cute to him. Everything you do is sweet, innocent, arousing.
âIâŚâ You lean forward in your seat again, and whether you realize it or not, it gives Suguru a perfect view of the swell of your breasts. Itâs a struggle to keep his focus on your face when your skin looks so smooth, and unmarred, perfect. Those plush lips of yours whisper, â...I think itâs exciting.â
He can only think one thought in this moment.
He wants to ruin you.
âYeah?â
âYeah.â
âWhatâs excitinâ about it?â He asks, though he has an idea what it is. The travel, not being tied down to anyone or anything, the freedom this life provides. Itâs what they all say when they try to make small talk. âPretty girl like you canât possibly know nothinâ about this life.â
You inhale deeply, leaning back in your seat and Suguru watches closely, the way your chest rises and falls with the breath. âWell, I never seen a outlaw in person. Surely never spoke to one. AndâŚâ You purse your lips together, like youâre contemplating if you should say the next thing. But you do anyway. âI just never thought a outlaw could be so pretty.â
His eyes widen, the corners of his lips rising with a goofy grin. âPretty?â He chuckles, combing his fingers through his hair again. âYou really think so?â
Heâs been called a lot of things, but pretty is not one of them.
âYep. Look at ya.â You stand, moving quickly to cross the small gap between you both and take a seat next to him. You reach for his arm, then hesitate, pulling back for a second. You peer up at Suguru, silently asking permission and he nods. Your fingers ghost along his forearm, over his bicep, along his neck where his Adam's apple bobs with a gulp, and then your hand is cupping his cheek. Your trail leaves behind a trail of goosebumps.
And Suguruâs pants grow tighter.
Suguru has had his fair share of women and men alike during his time as a felon. But youâre particularly tempting. Heâs not sure heâs ever wanted someone as badly as he wants you right now and itâs been all of ten minutes in this train car together. But any minute now, his crew is going to come through those doors and tell him theyâre ready to go. And then Suguru will have to leave and the chances of him seeing you ever again are slim to none.Â
But on the bright side, the chances of him seeing you again are slim to none. Itâs a little sudden, but you seem like you want him with the way youâre feeling him up right about now. Maybe you'd let him bury his cock as deep as he can go, fuck you until youâre screaming his name, begging and crying on his cock. Then heâll fill you with his seed, maybe leave a baby in you to remember him by if youâre lucky and then heâll grab his spoils with Larue and the rest and go. Then he'll never see you again.Â
This desert is far and wide. Heâd have you today, then never have to face you again for the rest of his life. A woman like you? You'll be just fine. A pretty face and an even prettier smile. Though he thinks you're a bit naive. Have to be to be sitting here chatting with him like heâs some gentleman you met on a leisurely trip to see your relatives. Regardless, there will be some poor fool out there that'll be happy to have you after he's had his way with you.
âWerenât you just daydreaming about settling down with this woman?â
âPretty eyes,â you hum, pulling Suguru from his filthy fantasies. âNice skin, pretty lips. JustâŚvery pretty.â Your thumb caresses his skin and his eyes can't help but notice the way your gaze is locked to his lips. He pokes his tongue out, watching your eyes widen just slightly at the motion, as he runs the wet muscle along his lips. And heâs right back in his head, thinking of all the ways he could have you.
Thereâs no mistaking the thick tension filling the room at this moment. Like a lightning bolt hitting the same spot repeatedly. Each stroke of your fingers along his cheek only intensifies the mood. Suguruâs lips curl into a teasing smirk, and yours into one that matches. âWhy do I feel like you're trouble?â He says.
Your smile widens, and like a magnet, Suguru finds himself slowly being drawn closer and closer to you. Even as a soft laugh falls from your lips, his mind is wiped clean of all thoughts that don't consist of you.
âMe? Thatâs funny cominâ from a outlaw like yourself,â you mutter just as you close the distance between you, pressing your lips teasingly to Suguru's. They barely touch, truly a ghost of a touch but Suguru still has to swallow down the moan that damn near bursts from his chest the second your mouth was close enough to his.
You pull away suddenly, covering your lips as you lean away, your eyes wide with worry. ââm sorry.â
âWhat are you apologizinâ for?â Suguru asks, scooting closer.
âI donât know whatâs gotten into meâŚI justâŚâ Youâre back to fidgeting with your dress again, and Suguru places a large hand over yours to stop the movement. âYouâre a criminal, and Iâm just me. I shouldnât even be talkinâ to you.â You stare up at him with wide eyes, and fuck he wants you.
You look so sweet, so pure looking at him like that. And he feels a little like a piece of shit because while youâre looking at him with probably innocent thoughts floating around in your head, heâs thinking about how heâd love nothing more than to cover your face in his seed.
âIâm not a bad guy,â Suguru lies easily. âHave I done bad things?â He shrugs, because heâs done way too many terrible things to count. Better not to give a real answer to that one. âBut Iâm enjoyinâ our conversation. The kiss was just a perk. Wouldnât mind it if it happened again. Iâd gladly accept it.â
âButâŚI donât even know youâŚâ
âAll the better,â is what he wants to say, but instead, he tells you, âAnd thatâs fine. Listenââ he squeezes your hand gently. âBest part of beinâ a criminal is that I just do what I want. Donât gotta ask permission for nothinâ.â
Your eyes swim with curiosity. âItâs that easy?â
âYep. Do what makes ya feel good, sweetheart.â
You still donât look convinced, and if this next question doesnât work, Suguru will have no choice but to tie you up and dump you in the other train car with the rest of the hostages. He doesnât have much time to waste trying to get you just to kiss him.
âLemme ask yaâŚdid you like kissinâ me?â
He knows he should be worrying about the heist, not some pretty face distracting him from the job. But when you speak again, he tells himself the job can go to hell.
âYesâŚbutâŚI got scared. Iâ Iâve only done some things with a manâŚâ you admit quietly. âAnd Iâm not too good at it.â
Fuck. He has to have you.
âThatâs not a problem, sweetheart,â he reassures you, and you beam.
Your hand grasps onto Suguruâs, squeezing tightly. âReally?â
He nods. âI donât got much time before I gotta leave, but I can show ya some things real quick.â
âYouâll show me? How to do things?â Your voice is eager, so ready. Suguru is finding it hard to contain how much youâre turning him on right now. âLike kissinâ andâŚyâknow other stuff?â
âWhat kinda stuff?â He asks, because he wants you to say it. Wants to know how far youâre willing to go if youâve never done a damn thing before. You pinch your lips together, turning your head away shyly. But Suguru gently cups your chin, turning you to look at him again.
âWhat kinda stuff?â He repeats. âTell me.â
âStuffâŚthat makes a manâŚyâknowâŚâ
He grins, tauntingly. âEnlighten me,â he whispers.
âStuff to make a manâŚâ you worry your lip between your teeth. â...feel good.â
Oh hell.Â
What type of good deeds has Suguru done to find himself here? With someone as virtuous as you, who is asking him of all people to show you how to please him? He has half a mind to tell you no. Heâs got shit to do and his partners are bound to come looking for him any minute. But his cock is screaming within the confines of his pants to get into those undergarments of yours. And thereâs no argument to be had here.Â
Heâs listening to his dick.
Suguru crashes his lips to yours, swallowing up the yelp that escapes you from the sudden kiss. âIâll teach ya whatever ya want, pretty girl.â He groans into your mouth.Â
He kisses you hard, but slowly, giving you time to catch up. Youâre a little slow to pick up, but you get there. Your lips slot against his, fingers slipping into his hair and holding on tight, making Suguru groan into the kiss once more.
âWe donât got a lotta time,â he breathes against you.
You nod, pulling away to look up at him. âWhat dâya want?â
You.
He needs you â bent over the passenger seat and holding onto the bar sitting atop it while he fucks you from behind. He needs you sitting on his face, needs your hand around his length. But heâs looking at your face again, so desperate for instruction. Looks at your lips, swollen from the little bit of kissing youâve been doing. And he knows exactly what he needs in this moment.
âEver had a cock in your mouth?â He shifts, sitting back against the seat.
You shake your head.
âEver touched one?â
Another shake of your head.
âWhat have you done?â
You hum, thinking only for a short time before you answer. âKissed.â
What fucking luck.
Doesnât matter what they score off the train today. This is the biggest reward of all.
âGood,â Suguru says, tugging your hand until you stand. With a grin, he guides you to the floor until youâre sitting up on your knees. âThere wonât be another man whoâs had ya then. Iâll show ya how to please me, make me feel good.âÂ
You nod, and Suguru canât believe how easy this was as he fumbles with his belt, quickly undoing the buckle. He yanks his pants down, along with his underwear. Only to his knees. He wants to be able to get up quickly if needed. Suguruâs dick sits against his stomach, fat and long, with a harsh red tip that leaks with precum. He peers down at you, your eyes honed in on his length.
âTouch it,â he whispers encouragingly.
Your eyes meet as you move, your hands wrapping around Suguru tenderly, pulling a hiss from him. You hold his length like itâs a foreign object, and he supposes it is to you since itâs the first time youâve done. Suguru grits his teeth, bringing a hand up to your fist. Youâre simply touching him and his dick is throbbing in your grip.
âMove your handâŚup ân down,â he tells you. âLike this.â He guides you, helping to move your hand in slow and light pumps until youâve found a rhythm that works. His head falls back as the pleasure takes over. âAhhhâshit, just like that, pretty girl.â
âItâs so bigâŚâ you sigh, licking your lips as you stroke his cock slowly.
From here, Suguru is certain he has a perfect view of you. Eyes wide and curious while you observe every ridge and vein running along his length. It turns him on beyond measure, his hips jerking upward in your grasp.Â
âDamn,â he moans, fucking himself into your hands. For someone with no experience, you hold his dick just right. He never knew a womanâs touch could feel this good, but youâre a natural talent. You stroke him so good, his mouth falls slack as he lets himself enjoy the feeling of your hands around him. But you surprise him, just as youâve been doing all this time, his eyes snapping open just in time to watch you lick from the base of his length all the way to the tip, teasing the slit with your tongue and lapping up the bead of precum that sits there.
âItâs salty,â you giggle before you kiss down his shaft, bringing your attention to his balls, kissing and licking the two orbs teasingly. Suguru inhales sharply, eyes rolling to the back of his head as the sensation makes his head swim with pleasure. Especially when your hand wraps around Suguruâs length again, pumping him up and down, slowly as you continue to lap at his balls.
âYouâre already so good at this,â Suguru pants heavily.
âI am?âÂ
He can hear the excitement in your voice, so eager to please him. It turns him on knowing that youâre trying so hard to make him feel good. He wonders if you can feel his cock throb in your hands.
âSo fucking good,â he praises you, loving the way you hum against him.
âCan I put it in my mouth?â You ask sweetly, squeezing your hands around his cock.
âGod, please.â
When you take Suguru into the warmth of your mouth, you hum around him, and the vibrations make him shiver, back arching off of the seat. His palm finds the back of your head, his hips rolling up so he can shove his cock as far as possible without hurting you. Heâs gentle at first. Youâve never done this before, after all. He wants to give you the time you need to adjust, though he canât afford to give you too much. Which seems to be just fine, because just like before, you catch on quickly. You take his cock damn near to the base, and you take it so well, relaxing your throat for him so itâs easy.Â
âCould fuck this pretty little mouth all day,â Suguru grunts, pumping into you. âSo goddamn good.â The sound of his balls slapping against your chin as he fucks your face has his legs trembling, pleasure shooting straight up his spine. He wants to grab your head and push you down further, make you swallow all of him until he blows his load down your throat, then make you swallow that, too. But he doesnât want to cum just yet.
He craves more from you. He needs more from you.
You hum again, sending another vibration through him as your fingers come up, caressing his balls. And Suguru squeezes his eyes shut, trying so hard not to cum. âAhâ shit, shit!â He pushes at your shoulders, forcing you off of him with a loud and wet pop. You look rather pleased with yourself, smiling when you see his red cheeks and the way he rapidly tries to catch his breath.
Like he noted before. Youâre trouble.
âFuck, youâre fuckinâ perfect,â he gasps, staring at your chin dripping with saliva and his juices. Suguru watches through hooded eyes as you swipe it away. He could watch you on your knees all day, taking his cock down your throat time and time again. But unfortunately, time is not on his side today. He needs to hurry it up.
âCâmere, pretty,â he calls for you, taking your hand. You stand, waiting for your next instruction as Suguru leans forward in his seat. His hands find your waist, pulling you close enough that he can press a kiss to your stomach before he leans back again. âPull up your skirt for me.â
âOkayâŚâ you agree, shakily. You reach for the hem of your skirt, pulling the layers of fabric as high as itâll go. Suguru always hated these damn dresses. Itâs like digging for gold trying to get through every damn piece of clothing. But eventually, you get to the end, revealing your bare thighs to him. Soft, plush, beautiful. But what heâs truly interested in remains concealed by your underwear.
Suguru swallows hard before he drags his finger along your clothed pussy, grinning when your thighs tremble just barely. His gaze glides back up your form until they rest on your face, watching as your mouth falls open with a silent moan.Â
Hard to believe youâve never been touched here. Also, so very arousing to think youâve never been touched here. He thanks his lucky stars that youâre allowing him to be the first.
He slips his finger into the fabric, his slender fingers quickly finding your slit and sliding along your folds. He sucks in a sharp breath when he feels how soaked you are. He briefly brushes a finger against your entrance, pausing when he feels you tense up.
âMight hurt a little,â he warns as softly as he can manage right now. But you whisper, âgo aheadâ, hands coming to rest on his shoulders as he dips his finger into your pussy, biting back a moan when he feels your soft walls clench down on his hand. Itâs tight, as expected but he moves slowly, pulling back every so often to work his way further.
You whimper above him, squeezing his shoulders as your breaths come rapidly while Suguru pumps his finger in and out of your hole. Your bottom lip sits between your teeth, and your brows are knitted together.
Youâre enjoying this.Â
And heâs enjoying watching you.
Suguru presses his thumb to your clit, slowly circling the sensitive nub. Dark eyes lock with yours as his other hand finds the top of your dress where he hooks his fingers into the cups and pulls it down. Your breasts spill out of the fabric and your breath hitches when the air caresses your nipples. Suguru kneads the soft flesh, his thumb swiping across one of the hardened buds.Â
âAhhh, yes,â you moan, your voice barely above a whisper. Your head falls back with a loud gasp as Suguru slips another finger into you.Â
âBeinâ real good for me,â he coos. His dick grows painfully harder as he slowly thrusts his fingers inside of you, while his thumb stimulates your clit. Heâs panting trying to hold himself together while he preps you for what he wants next. Your hips move on their own, riding Suguruâs hand, chasing your high.Â
âFeel good?â He grunts, fingers slipping into you over and over, curling inside, and hitting your sweet spot and you canât help but to gasp quietly each time Suguru touches it.Â
âY-yes, feels incredible,â you whine.
Suguruâs eyes are locked on your center where he watches his fingers disappear into your cunt over and over, your slick coating his hand more with each thrust. It only adds to Suguruâs struggle to keep it together as he ignores the pulsing need of his cock. Your pleasured moans and the squelching sound of your dripping pussy fill the space of the train car.
âIâmââ you breathe harshly against him and he feels your walls squeeze down on his digits. Youâre close already.
âGonna cum, sweetheart?â Suguruâs fingers dip into you faster. His eyes linger on your face as his thumb rubs tight circles on the sensitive bud between your legs. Your eyes flutter closed, mouth hanging open as a delicious moan rushes past your lips, your grip on Suguruâs shoulders tightening so much it stings. But he loves it, loves feeling your pussy squeezing down on his fingers, sucking them deeper as your release crashes over you until he can feel your cum dripping down his fingers and into his palm as he keeps pumping into you.
Suguru sighs as he stares at his fingers, slowly pulling them from you. He licks his lips, admiring his slick covered hand.
Heâs never taken the time to just enjoy the moment with anyone. Never cared much to please a woman. Itâs easier for him to just get himself off and high tail it out of there. No attachment to these ladies, no reason to stick around. But what is it about you that makes him want to see all the ways your body is capable of falling apart? Because itâs a beautiful sight to behold.Â
âOutlawâŚâ you murmur, slipping your undergarments down your legs until youâre able to kick them off. You push Suguru back by the shoulders, lifting your skirt so that you can easily maneuver into his lap. His hands find your hips beneath your dress as you straddle him, and his thumbs caress the soft skin gently.
âYeah, beautiful?â
So beautiful. He canât stop staring at you and your eyes, glazed over with desire. You lean forward, the heat from between your legs making Suguruâs length twitch. It lightly taps your core and you gasp. Your hands clutch onto the bar that runs along the top of the train seat, one on each side of his head. Suguruâs palms glide around to your backside, squeezing the flesh of your ass. You brush your nose against his, soft breaths mingling with his as you whisper, âmake love to me, outlawâŚâ just before your lips touch.
And Suguruâs groaning into your mouth, because this kiss is different. Itâs hungry, hot, full of want and need. Itâs sloppy and rushed, because youâre both aware of the time crunch youâre in. Itâs intoxicating, addicting, the way he never wants to stop kissing you. To hell with the heist.
âReady for me, pretty girl?â Suguru pants, a hand gripping his cock. He can feel the heat of your pussy radiating off of you and it makes him all the more eager to have you.
Your eyes are wide, filled with something Suguru thinks may be excitement. Heâs not sure he sees any hesitation or fear behind your eyes. You want him badly, itâs clear as day. He wants you just as badly, if not more. So he positions himself at your entrance, nudging your hole gently with his tip.Â
A small whimper slips past your lips, and Suguru kisses you sweetly. âItâs only gonna hurt for a second,â he coos. âPromiseâŚâ
He kisses you again, muttering, âIâm pushinâ inâŚâ against your lips.
You close your eyes, teeth digging into your bottom lip as Suguru rolls his hips forward, slowly sinking his tip into your pussy, only stopping when you let out a harsh breath.
ââS a tight fit,â he murmurs through gritted teeth. An understatement. Your pussy is gripping him with so much force, heâs struggling to breathe. Youâre holding him hostage within your walls and the feeling has him tightening his hold on your ass. âYou alright?â
Because he wants to make sure it feels good for you, too. Your pleasure is his. Which is a whole new feeling for him in and of itself. Heâs aware of how the tables have turned. What started as him wanting to show you ways to please him, turned into him desperate to please you. But he likes it that way.
You nod, moaning quietly when Suguru keeps moving forward. âOhhhâŚâÂ
âGod, this pussy is so fuckinâ ââ he canât even finish his sentence. He needs to focus all his attention on not cumming already.
You take him all the way to the base, moaning loudly when you fully sink onto him. Your grip tightens around the bar, steadying yourself as Suguru lifts you by your ass before pulling you back down on him, so slowly. âFuuuckââ he groans. He thrusts into you at a leisurely pace, slow and controlled, giving you time to adjust to his size.Â
But his kissesâŚtheyâre rough. Such a contrast to the way heâs fucking you right now. The pleasure is overwhelming to Suguru, and when your tongue slips into his mouth, itâs him thatâs whimpering now, thrusting just a little faster, a little harder.
âDamn, you take my cock so good, pretty girlââ he growls into your mouth. âLove the way you ride me.â He smacks your ass hard, eyes falling to your breast, bouncing up and down with the rhythm of his thrusts. He takes one into his mouth, greedily lapping at your nipple, nipping and sucking and loving the way your cries get louder.
âOh my god, fuck!â
âRide my cock, pretty. You already do it so good. Wanna see you ride me.â Suguru groans. He releases his hold on you, hands coming up to play with your breasts while you bounce wildly on his dick. He lifts your dress, relishing the view of his length, glistening with your slick, vanishes into your tight cunt over and over. âShiiiittttâŚâ
You slip a hand into his tresses, pulling hard and forcing him away from your nipples. You pull so hard Suguru has to close his eyes because the sensation sends goosebumps igniting across his body. That, combined with the way you keep taking him to the tip before slamming down on his cock repeatedly. Fuck, youâre a quick learner.
Your pussy is what it feels like every single time he pulls off a heist successfully. Like fucking heaven. And he never wants to leave it.
His eyes flutter open, just enough to see your breasts bouncing with every rise and fall of your hips. Your velvety walls hug him tight, so fucking good, Suguru thinks he'd like to be able to have you all the time. Hell, he has half a mind to take you with him once theyâre off this damned train. Being able to have you like this any time he wants, watch your body come undone under him, on top of him, in any position youâll let him have you. Heâd even give up this outlaw life if you wanted him to. Settle down, start a family if thatâs what you wanted. The thought of it makes Suguru more excited than heâll ever admit.
Each time your pussy sucks him back in, begging for him to cum, he can suddenly picture a life outside of this. Each time those sexy little noises fall from your sweet lips, he can suddenly envision raising a family with you, building himself a life where he's able to hear those sounds any time he desires.Â
He lets his mind drift to these fantasies while he can, enjoying the feeling of you and the sounds you gift him with.Â
There's a fire pooling in his belly, growing hotter each time his balls meet your ass. He's gonna blow his load here any second. And he can't wait. He wants to cum inside your walls, wants to thrust himself so deep into you that there's no way you're not carrying his child when he's done. Least you'll have something to remember him by if you tell him you donât want shit to do with him after this. A sweet woman like you with a wanted felon? Of course youâd prefer to get your rocks off while you can and move on. Which is fine.
Because Suguru is gonna remember you, anyway. Heâll remember the way you squeeze around him, the way you moan the little nickname youâve given him, the way your cunt feels fucking unlike any other womanâs. Youâve got him mesmerized.Â
So much so, that he doesn't even notice the cool press of steel against the center of his forehead.Â
âOhhh,â you moan, whimpering, âPleaseâŚpleaseâŚwill you put a baby inside me, outlaw?âÂ
Itâs like you read his mind, and Suguruâs eyes snap open, balls tightening as his release threatens to come at any moment. But then his eyes see the stiffness in your arm, see the glimmer of metal as the sunlight reflects off it through the windows, and he finally realizes you've got his gun to his head, and maybe thatâs actually why his balls are tightening. Youâve got this wicked grin on your flushed face as you keep riding him. Hard, fast, walls squeezing him in a vice grip. And he can't do shit but let his eyes roll to the back of his head, let his pleasure race straight down his spine and into his balls as his release shoots from his cock before he has a chance to get ahold of himself.
But you donât let him get a drop inside, lifting yourself smoothly off his lap just as fat, hot streams of cum land messily in his lap and on his stomach. Suguruâs gasping for air, still struggling to figure out what the fuck is going on. And you donât give him a second to catch his breath, to let his mind catch up before youâre wrapping your hand around his cock again, squeezing and stroking his length until heâs so overstimulated his jaw is cramping up from how hard heâs gritting his teeth to keep from crying out.
âWhat the fuck are you ahhhââ you run your thumb over his leaking tip, your eyes alight with joy when his hips buck up automatically, legs trembling as you keep pumping him, though his balls are beyond empty.Â
You tsk, shaking your head as you press the barrel of the gun harder against his skin. âWhereâs that sweet outlaw from before?â You drawl.
Your voice has changed. No longer soft spoken, shy and sweet. The hardness of your tone tells Suguru all he needs to know. The memories come flooding back. And now he realizes why you looked so familiar when he first laid eyes on you.Â
Your face has been plastered on wanted posters in damn near every town he and his partners have stopped in. Murder, robbery, drunkenness, prison escape, cheating at cards. All the crimes that should have you in the town square hanging, youâre wanted for. Somehow, youâve managed to never get caught.
How could he have let his guard down? How could he have fucked up this badly?
âThinking with your dick. Thatâs how.â
âGuess it takes an outlaw to know one,â He grits out, nostrils flared with fury. He can only hope his crew comes through those doors soon, though itâll be fucking humiliating to be caught in this position.
A giggle spills from your lips and the sound makes Suguru sick to his stomach. You donât even sound like the same person from before. âYâall are pretty easy to spot. âSpecially when all yâall think with your cocksââ You echo his thoughts, emphasizing the word by squeezing Suguruâs slowly softening length in your hand. You frown, releasing your hold on him. âHuh, thought youâd be able to gimme another one.â
He inhales deeply, shakily, narrowing his eyes at the woman â the stranger â that stands before him. âEverything you said was a lie, then.â
Itâs not a question. He knows. Because youâre just like him. Maybe even worse.
Laughter bursts from deep within, like what he said was the funniest thing youâve ever heard. âIt really is easy to fool yâall men. Just gotta make our pussies feel reallllll tight and wet and yâall donât question nothinâ.â
You climb off of the seat, taking the gun off his head while you fix your undergarments, unbothered and careless. And Suguru decides to act fast, takes this moment to lunge for you. But he doesnât make it far, because his head is yanked back roughly the moment he jumps forward. His scalp burns, and he reaches back, feeling a thick knot tied around the metal bar that sits atop the train seats. The same metal bar you were just holding onto moments ago.
âYou fuckinâ tied my hair to the seat?!â He growls.
And you chuckle, shifting your dress around until youâre decent again. The gun is pointed back at Suguruâs face, and he puts his hands back down, not daring to try and free himself when youâve got a revolver ready to blow his brains out.
âAnd your hands are next,â you promise in a sing-song voice. You keep your word, spinning around briefly to reach between the wall and your original seat, where youâd apparently hidden a small rope. You make quick work of tying Suguruâs hands behind his back, leaning a little too close to him as you finish the knot.Â
He can feel your breaths against his neck, and right now, if heâs being honest with himself â which he may as well be since he could very well be dead soon â itâs confusing him. Because he feels like he fucking hates you, is repulsed by you, could spit in your face right now. Oh, he really fucking wants to. But something tells him youâd like that anyway. And the thought of your face, depraved and covered in his saliva is making his still exposed length hard again. Even when you tug harshly on the rope for good measure, chuckling low in Suguruâs ear when you hear him hiss in pain, his cock stiffens further.
And of course you notice, your eyes glancing down to his lap, where the sticky mess you left him with lies. âSure you donât wanna go again?â You tease, laughing when Suguru scowls.Â
You like him upset, and probably a little pathetic, because you press your lips to his pout, kissing him hungrily. And apparently, Suguru is as pathetic as he looks, because â and itâs a surprise to him, too â he kisses you back! Your tongues tangle during this brief meeting of your lips, fighting for dominance, though itâs apparent whoâs the one in control here.Â
The filthy moans between you are interrupted when Suguru feels that damned gun under his chin now, applying enough pressure to push him back. Only a line of your mixed saliva connects you two as you stare down at him in amusement.
âLike I saidâŚâ you peer down quickly at Suguruâs lap before whispering. âAaaalways thinkinâ with your cock.â You step back, pointing the gun at him once again.
âWhat do ya want?â He asks, pulling at his restraints to no avail. Heâd love nothing more than to wipe that cocky smile off your face and flip the tables on you, but itâs not looking good for him.
âWhat I wantâŚâ You wiggle the gun in his face, tauntingly. â...is already mine, outlaw.â Thereâs humor in your tone, and your body language is relaxed. You couldnât see Suguru as less of a threat if you tried.
You piss him off.
And make him so fucking hard.
Heâs confused!
The noise of the doors to the train cabin opening can be heard and Suguru grins. Youâre fucked now. Larue is going to put a bullet between your eyes and sure, Suguruâll be sad about it. But better you than him. You were a great fuck, heâll admit. And yes, he entertained the idea of giving you a kid or two, maybe getting a little cabin out in the prairie. But that fantasyâs as dead as youâre about to be. Sad that he wonât beâ
âThe guy with the nipples and the girl have been taken care of, boss!â A chipper voice sings.Â
ThatâŚis not Larue.
Suguru couldnât turn his head if he tried, courtesy of this goddamn knot, but he can see the smirk on your face as you nod. âGreat work, Hime. And the goods?â
âAlready on the move with the others. Just gotta get on the horses when youâre ready.â
You turn your head, staring out the window and nodding again. Out of his peripheral, Suguru can just barely make out the form of two horses, racing alongside the train and he knows heâs screwed.
You sigh, shrugging while feigning sadness as you pout. âWell, outlawâŚlooks like this is the end of the line.â
Suguru tugs at his ropes again, struggling against the holds. âYou gonna leave me here like this?â He gestures with his chin at hisâŚsituation. You must be forgetting his entire dick is out for the world to see. And that youâve tied his hands up. Not to mention his fucking hair! If he has to cut his hair because of thisâŚ
You hum, like youâre actually giving deep thought to his question. Youâre not.
âYeah, actually. Think I am.â You lift your dress, not even pretending to be as innocent as you presented yourself to be when Suguru first laid eyes on you. You tuck his gun into the waistband of your undergarments, patting it affectionately. âThanks for a grand olâ time, outlaw. If you manage to survive this, we can do it again.â
You shoot him a wink before you lean over him, leaving him with one final kiss on the lips. Itâs gentle this time, soft, save for a light nip to his bottom lip that embarrassingly enough, manages to arouse Suguru yet again.Â
âAt least tell me your name,â Suguru grits out through heavy breaths. âSo I can be sure to repay the favor.â
Itâs a threat, but you donât take it as one. You simply smile. Itâs warm, almost reminiscent of the woman he met just earlier. The woman he thought you were. But that look is gone as soon as it appeared. You pat his face gently, reaching across the seat to grab his hat that he had set aside when heâd first sat down. You sit it atop your head, wearing it like some sort of crown, and without another word, you leave.
The train cars open, the roaring rush of the wind filling the space for just a moment before theyâre shut again, and Suguru is left with nothing but his thoughts and his dick literally out. He leans his head back against the seat, closing his eyes to calm his racing heart and honestly to stifle the pain of his untouched erection.
This has been the wildest ride of his life. Definitely the worst heist heâs ever done. And if he does survive this, does manage to somehow talk his way out of charges and prison time, heâs going to find you. Fuck the robberies. Fuck the brothels. Fuck gambling and drinking all day. Yeah, if he manages to survive this, he will make it his lifeâs mission to find you again.
Because even after all is said and done, Suguru thinks he might fucking love you.
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Cast Your Bets | S.R.
summary: (Y/N) has been at the BAU for two months now and the tension between her and Spencer has been noticeable to everyone but them. The team takes bets on when they'll finally snap but (Y/N) and Spencer over hear them and some smutty shenanigans ensue.
This is smut so it's 18+, minors please dni.
spencer x bau!reader
contains: unprotected sex, creampie, masturbation (m), fingering (f receiving), non-established relationship
this has been sitting in my drafts for few months so i figured i'd finally let it see the light of day
The team were all sat on the jet after a long case, everyone off in their own little worlds. Morgan had his headphones on and had nodded off, JJ and Prentiss were playing cards, and Hotchner and Rossi were talking about the case they had just finished in hushed tones. Spencer had run out of reading material so he was just kind of sitting and staring off into space. His eyes fell to (Y/N), her brows furrowed in concentration as she read what looked to be a well-worn book, and he couldn't help the way his heart fluttered in his chest.
Ever since she had started at the BAU, Spencer had been hopelessly infatuated with her. She was intelligent, sweet, and most surprisingly she seemed to enjoy when Spencer would go off rambling about something that would usually leave Morgan rolling his eyes or Prentiss poking him and asking, "how did they make you so lifelike?" But when he was talking with (Y/N) and he would start off on a subject, she would just tilt her head and listen with a soft smile, occasionally chiming in with a question or comment, making it more than clear she was listening to every word.
She locked eyes with him and flashed him the sweetest smile and he felt his cheeks burn with a sudden heat. "Something interesting, Reid?" She chuckled, closing the book she had been reading and setting it on her lap as she turned to face him.
"IâI was just trying to see what you're reading," he lied, unconvincingly. He swallowed nervously and a small smile twitched at his lips at seeing her smile grow even wider before he looked down at his hands resting in his lap.
She held the book up for him to see the cover. Dune.
"Dune? That's one of my favorites!" He exclaimed with a wide smile.
"When I was a little girl this was one of my favorites. My dad would read it to me before bedtime," she explained before opening it back up to begin reading again. "I read it once a year the month of his birthday."
Spencer felt a sudden, inexplicable surge of confidence and decided to take advantage of it. "Hey, uh, I finished the only book I had brought with me earlier, do you mind if I read along with you, maybe? I could just read over your shoulder or something." He bit his lip as he waited for her to shoot him down, the confidence he felt already fading away rapidly.
"Oh! I, uh, o-okay," she responded while her eyes widened a little bit in response to the request. She moved closer to him on the bench they were both seated on. He adjusted the way he was sitting so that she could lean up against him and he found himself silently hoping she couldn't hear how fast and hard his heart was beating against his chest. She opened the book, holding it up high enough for Spencer to be able to read as well and they began reading. Spencer stole the occasional glance at her, the butterflies in his stomach flying around more frantically each time he did so.
His body was in overdrive and he did everything in his power to maintain his composure. He could smell the scent of eucalyptus and lavender on her hair as she leaned up against him and he started thinking about how nice it would be to be able to run his fingers through it while her lips were wrapped around hisâ
Spencer shook his head, dispelling the thoughts before they had a chance to take root. He cleared his throat and crossed his legs to cover up the fact that he was becoming rather noticeably hard. (Y/N) shifted a bit, leaning further into Spencer's chest and resting her head there gently. His breath hitched in his throat before he relaxed into her, resting his arm around her shoulders and his cheek against the top of her head.
They continued reading until Spencer noticed that she hadn't turned the page in quite a while. When he looked down at her he noticed that she was sleeping quite soundly against him. He tried his best to maneuver without waking her, placing her bookmark in between the pages and closing the book. There was no way Spencer himself would be able to get any sleep right now, but Spencer tried to relax enough to at least be a comfortable human pillow. Wrapping his other arm around her, he eventually found himself getting lost in the scent of her shampoo yet again as his eyes grew heavy.
Next thing he knew, he was waking up to Morgan lightly shaking his shoulder. "Come on lover boy! It's time to wake up. We're about to land," he said in a voice loud enough to also rouse the still-sleeping (Y/N).
She shot up suddenly, her face turning a deep shade of crimson as she stammered out a flustered apology and swiftly rushed off to the bathroom, leaving Spencer to glare daggers at Derek from his seat on the now otherwise empty bench.
Later that night, Spencer found himself at home, sprawled on the couch with the familiar blue glow of the television screen illuminating the room. The soft hum of the TARDIS filled the air as he half-heartedly tried to focus on the episode of Doctor Who playing before him. But try as he might, his mind kept drifting back to (Y/N).
Her scent still lingered on his clothes, a sweet and intoxicating blend that teased his senses. Images of her leaning against him, of her hair brushing against his skin, invaded his thoughts. His body reacted to these memories, stirring with a desire that he couldn't ignore.
As the scene on the TV faded into the background, Spencer's hand began to stray lower, fingers tracing the outline of his growing arousal through his pants. He closed his eyes, letting himself fully indulge in the fantasy of (Y/N) that had taken hold of his mind.
Her soft lips against his skin, his hands exploring her body with a gentle curiosity...
Spencer reached his hand into his pajama pants, pulling out his throbbing member and wrapping his fingers around himself, slowly beginning to stroke up and down. His breathing grew shallow as his hand moved more purposefully, seeking release from the building tension within him. Lost in a haze of desire and yearning, Spencer's thoughts were consumed by the memory of her touch, her scent, her warmth as she leaned up against him. With a quiet gasp, he abandoned himself to the fantasy, his movements growing urgent as he chased the climax that beckoned to him.
The fantasies of (Y/N) moaning and writhing beneath him in pleasure became more vivid, more alluring, fueling the fire that consumed him. Every fleeting touch, every whispered word in his mind pushed him closer to the edge until finally, with a shuddering breath and a silent cry of her name on his lips, Spencer found release in the solitude of his living room. The waves of pleasure washed over him, leaving him spent and breathless, his heart pounding in his chest.
As reality slowly seeped back in, Spencer lay there in the dim glow of the TV screen, a flush of both satisfaction and guilt coloring his cheeks. He wondered how he would ever be able to look (Y/N) in the eye again, but at the same time he couldn't help but long to see her still.
With a deep sigh, Spencer finally shut off the TV, cleaned himself up, and headed to bed, his mind filled with a mixture of longing and remorse.
The atmosphere in the bullpen was buzzing with it's usual energy. Spencer and (Y/N) were hunched over their desks, papers scattered everywhere as they focused intently on their work.
Meanwhile, across the room, Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia, and JJ were observing the pair with playful banter and knowing looks. Their whispers floated through the air like mischievous spirits.
"Hey, JJ, how long do you think it'll be until these two finally give in to their sexual tension?" Derek asked with a cocky smirk.
JJ shrugged. "I'll give it two weeks."
Derek scoffed in response and said, "I say a week tops."
Penelope interjected, "oh please! I give it three days."
"You're all ridiculous" Emily shook her head and laughed, "I bet it'll take 24 hours, tops."
Spencer could feel the heat rising to his cheeks as he overheard the playful bets being made about him and (Y/N). His heart raced at the mere thought of what could transpire between them, a mixture of excitement and nervousness swirling within him like a storm.
As they both reached for the same file folder, their fingers brushed against each other's in a fleeting moment that sent a jolt of electricity through Spencer. His hand trembled slightly at the contact, his skin tingling with a sensation he couldn't quite describe. But he couldn't deny the rush of warmth that flooded his veins at the simple touch.
(Y/N) quickly withdrew her hand, her eyes widening in surprise as she glanced up at Spencer. Her cheeks were painted with a delicate pink blush that mirrored Spencer's own, a silent acknowledgment passing between them in that moment.
Emily raised an eyebrow as they all observed the exchange between Spencer and (Y/N). "I told you allâ24 hours, no more, no less.â
Agent Hotchner's lowered voice came from behind the group, startling everyone at the table. "Less than 12 hours," he stated calmly, his eyes piercing as they turned towards Spencer and (Y/N). The sudden silence that followed his words was almost palpable, the tension thick in the air as his prediction hung over them like a heavy cloud.
As the others in the room exchanged surprised glances, Derek let out a low whistle. "Hotch, you sure about that?" he asked, a smile playing on his lips.
Hotch simply nodded, his expression unreadable as he turned away and walked out of the bullpen, leaving the rest of the table floored as they looked back at Spencer and (Y/N).
The gentle hum of the bullpen around them seemed to fade away as Spencer found himself lost in a daydream, imagining a world where he and (Y/N) were more than just colleagues. His heart quickened at the thought of what could be, but just as quickly, the shadow of doubt crept in.
What if she didn't feel the same way? What if their friendship was forever altered by a moment of vulnerability and desire? Spencer's mind swirled with conflicting emotionsâlonging mingled with fear, desire intertwined with doubt.
Lost in his thoughts, he almost didn't notice (Y/N) shooting him a quick smile before returning to her work. The warmth of that smile lingered in the air around Spencer, filling him with a sense of hope and a tinge of uncertainty. Was it just a friendly gesture, or did it hold a deeper meaning that he desperately wanted to believe in?
As the day drew to a close and everyone began packing up, Spencer finally spoke up. "Hey, (Y/N)," Spencer nervously fiddled with the strap of his bag, "would, uh, w-would you want to come over and watch Star Trek tonight? We could get some takeout, you know, like we always do the weekend after a case?" She looked up at him with a warm smile that made the butterflies in his stomach flare up and nodded happily.
As they walked out of the office together, Spencer couldn't help the sweat that began coating his palms in a thin layer. He gripped the leather strap of his bag and fiddled with it to give his hands something to do. The elevator took them down to the parking garage and they approached her car. Spencer rushed to open the driver's side door for her, drawing a soft, melodious giggle from her lips that made him go weak at the knees.
He made his way to the passenger side and slipped into the seat, buckling the seatbelt and swallowing the lump in his throat. She pulled out of the parking space and they began the short journey to his apartment. On her car radio a CD started playing, and a man with a soft and pleasant voice was singing to them about a woman with a green plastic watering can and a fake Chinese rubber plant. (Y/N) hummed along to the song and Spencer looked at her from the passenger seat, and as he did so his mind ventured back to the conversation he over heard between their colleagues earlier today.
"Spencer? Why are you staring at me?" She asked with a small smile, snapping him out of his thoughts and back into reality. His cheeks burned as he silently berated himself, not realizing how long he had been looking over at her. A whole new song was playing on the radio now, the same man now singing about how he used to fly like Peter Pan.
"S-sorry, I, uh, I just, uhâhey, wh-what did you wanna order tonight?" He clumsily attempted to change the subject, looking down at his hands as he wrung them together in his lap.
"Oooh!" (Y/N) exclaimed, always excited to talk about food. "There's a new pizza place across the street from your building that I noticed the last time I came over, what if we ordered from them?"
Spencer closed his eyes and exhaled shakily, relief washing over him. "That sounds like a fantastic idea," he smiled and shot another glance her way, this time immediately looking back at his hands.
(Y/N) parked the car on the curb in front of Spencer's building and turned off the engine. They stepped out into the cool evening air and walked across the street, entering the pizza shop. The inside of the shop was small, just a handful of tables. The walls were painted a pale shade of yellow and plastered with vintage Italian film posters. The air smelled of tomato sauce and pesto, and as they approached the counter a middle aged woman with a red apron over her blue dress pushed through the door in the wall behind it, wiping her hands on her apron.
"Welcome! Table for two?" She asked, looking between (Y/N) and Spencer.
"Can we actually just order something for takeout?" Spencer asked, looking at the menu above her head.
"Of course! What can I get for the handsome couple?" She smiled, her brown eyes crinkling on the side.
Spencer blinked. "Oh, uh, w-we, uh, we're notâ," Spencer stammered, his eyes widening as his cheeks flushed. "Um, can we get a, uh, a large pepperoni pizza?" He shifted gears, remembering her once mentioning to Garcia that pepperoni was her favorite pizza topping.
"Did you want a two liter bottle of cola? It would only be an extra $1.25," the lady chuckled, entering everything into the register.
"S-sure," he responded, pulling out his wallet.
"Alrighty! That will be $9.25," Spencer handed over a $20 and the lady opened the register drawer and handed him his change. "Please, feel free to have a seat while the two of you wait." She gestured over at the tables, which were all empty save for one, which was occupied by a single woman with a large slice of pizza on her table doing a crossword puzzle, before walking back through the door behind her.
"After you," he turned to (Y/N), following her to a table by the window. He pulled the chair out for her, earning another one of her beautiful giggles that made his legs go wobbly.
"Always such a gentleman," she smiled up at him as he made his way to the other side of the table and sat down. They waited for around 10 minutes and chatted about random topics, flowing from one to the next. The same lady from before approached the table with a white pizza box and plastic bag with the large bottle of soda and little packets of crushed red peppers and parmesan.
"Here you go, one large pepperoni pizza!" She placed the box and the bag on the table and wished them a good evening before heading back through the same door behind the counter.
The pair headed out of the shop and crossed the street, entering the door to Spencer's apartment building. Spencer carried the pizza box and soda while trailing behind (Y/N), struggling to keep his gaze off of her behind as he followed her up the stairs. As they approached his door, he fumbled trying to get his keys out of his pocket and ended up dropping them on the ground.
(Y/N) immediately reacted, bending down to grab the keys as soon as they hit the ground with a good natured laugh. "Need some help, Spencer?" She teased while grinning up at him.
"Yes, please," he laughed in return, shooting her a sheepish grin of his own. She unlocked the door to his apartment and opened the door, allowing him to slip in first and place the pizza and soda down on his small table. She followed and closed the door behind her.
"So I know I had agreed to come over to watch Star Trek, but what would you say to watching a little Doctor who?" She turned to him, a hopeful glint in her eyes. "It's been a while since I've sat down and watched that and I kind of miss it."
"We can watch anything you'd like!" Spencer responded while heading to the kitchen to grab a couple of plates and glasses. He brought them back out and offered one of each to (Y/N). They each helped themselves to a slice of pizza and poured their drinks before heading over to his couch. He grabbed the remote and put on Doctor Who.
They ate their pizza and watched Doctor Who on his couch, each of them getting up for another slice at least once. Spencer stole the occasional glance at her as they ate and watched, and once they both finished he took their plates to the sink and washed them off before quickly returning. As he sat back down, (Y/N) scooted closer to him slowly before gently leaning up against him and softly asking, "i-is this okay?"
Spencer's breath hitched in his throat as he managed to croak out a quiet, "y-yeah, it's okay." He lifted his arm and tentatively placed it around her shoulders while she moved in closer, leaning into his chest and resting her head against it like she had on the plane as they read together. This time he was sure she had to hear the way his heart was racing, but fortunately she said nothing. They continued to watch in silence as the tension between the two of them grew nearly palpable.
Eventually, once Spencer found himself wondering if she had yet again fallen asleep, (Y/N) broke the silence with a question. "So did you hear the team talking about us earlier today?"
"No, uh, wh-what were they, um, talking about?" He lied, doing his best to maintain his composure.
"You are a very bad liar, Spencer," she chuckled, making his cheeks flush bright red as she sat up.
"Sorry," he muttered, closing his eyes before looking up at her. "Y-yeah, I overheard them. I'm sorry about them, I can try to talk to them about it and ask them to stopâ"
"No, it's not that! It was actually fairly funny," she chuckled, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "But to be honest I'm kind of offended that they thought it would take me that long to seduce you." She joked, nudging Spencer in the ribs. "I mean, Emily said 'no more or less than 24 hours' but I'm fairly certain that if I really tried, and I mean really put my heart into it, I could get you into bed with me tonight." She laughed again but there was a hint of nervousness in it this time, shooting a look at him from where she sat as a faint pink blush began to spread over her cheeks. Apparently she hadn't heard Hotch's bet, but Spencer wasn't focusing on that. He was too busy focusing on the fact that he was sitting here listening to her speculate how long it would take for her to seduce him as if she hadn't been plaguing his dreams and fantasies since they met.
"Good point," he breathed to himself, hoping it was quiet enough that she wouldn't be able to hear over the TV. Unfortunately for him, he thought wrong. He yelped in surprise as she lunged over his lap, grabbed the remote, and hit the mute button, making the TV go silent.
"Oh, really?" She shot him a smile that was an equal mix of surprised and some other emotion Spencer hadn't seen on her face before. "So tell me, Spencer, what might I need to do to convince you to sleep with me?" Her voice was sultry and soft as she bit her lip and looked up at him, her face closer to his than it had been before.
"I-I, uh," Spencer cleared his throat and swallowed, his heart pounding against his ribcage. He had two options: try to lie his way out of this or just tell her how badly he'd like nothing more than to lay her down and take her right there on the couch. His palms grew slick again but he took a deep breath. He had already been called out for his poor lying skills once this evening, so there was no point in attempting the first option. Instead he simply opted to tell her the truth.
"Y-you wouldn't have to do anything more than just ask and I'd say yes." His voice was barely above a whisper and he finally looked up to meet her eyes before he added, "in a heartbeat."
Before he could fully register what was happening she had leaned in and pressed her lips to his softly. His eyes slowly closed as he kissed her back, shifting to turn so he was facing towards her with more of his body. His hands slid to her waist, wrapping around her and pulling her into him.
When they pulled away from each other he reached his hand up to cup her cheek, stroking it gently with his thumb. He opened his eyes to find her already looking at him before she softly said, "Spencer, would you like toâ"
"Yes," he exhaled with a fervent nod, grabbing her face with his other hand and crashing his lips back against hers, her lips parting to allow his tongue into her mouth. She threw her arms around his neck and laid back, pulling Spencer down with her. They shifted their legs until Spencer's hips rested between her thighs, his cock stiffening rapidly in his pants.
Her hands tangled into his hair and he began gently grinding his hips against her. They both moaned into each other's mouths at the sensation and Spencer's movements became more insistent and needy. When they finally broke apart to catch their breath, her cheeks were flushed and her pupils were dilated. Spencer brushed some of her hair out of her face before he pressed his lips to her cheek, then began trailing kisses from her cheek to her chin, then to her neck. She moved her hands to the collar of her shirt and began undoing the buttons while Spencer rose up to remove his own layers.
Once he had removed his shirt he looked back down at her and the sight awaiting him stole the breath right from his lungs. She had removed her shirt and her bra in the time it took him to get his jacket, vest, and shirt off and her entire torso was on display to him. He brought a hand up to one of her breasts and cupped it in his hand, brushing his thumb over the nipple. He leaned back over her and began kissing her neck again, teasing and tormenting her nipple before moving his mouth to take over, his fingers going to the other one to tease while he suckled and ran his tongue over the first one.
Everything else faded into the background when he heard her moan at sensations, including the throbbing and aching need in his pants. All that he could focus on was drawing more of those sounds form her mouth. He let his teeth graze against her nipple and she gasped, tangling her fingers back into his hair. He let his teeth press gently onto the hardened nub again and the moan she released in response was beautiful enough for him to think that maybe he had died and gone to heaven.
He eventually moved his hand from her other nipple, switching it out for his mouth and giving the first one a break. He let his hand trail down her abdomen, stopping as he reached the waistline of her skirt. He looked up at her from her chest as he hooked his fingers into the waistband and began to gently tug. She lifted her hips and used her hands to push her skirt and panties down before Spencer slowly pushed her thighs back open.
His fingers slid up her inner thigh until he reached her dripping center. His breath hitched in his throat as he felt just how ready she was for him. She whimpered beneath him and he felt his cock twitch at the sound as he moaned against her nipple. He gently ran a fingertip from her entrance to her clit, circling around it slowly before running his finger back down the other way. He repeated the action a few times. As he continued he started slipping the tip of his finger into the entrance of her pussy before swiping up to the clit, and with each repetition his finger slipped deeper and deeper into her.
His head became hazy with lust as he kept going until his finger was fully embedded into her. When he slipped it out this time instead of swiping it up to her clit he instead added a second finger, slowly pushing them both into her and pulling them back out. She arched her back up into his mouth, still tormenting her nipple. He switched back to the neglected one, feeling her chest heave against his mouth. Her fingers were back in his hair and tugging gently, and his cock twitched again at the feeling. He moaned loudly against her chest, and she pulled his hair again in response. He tugged at her nipple with his teeth lightly and she gasped, clenching around his fingers.
He sped up his pace, chuckling against her as the way she stifled a scream. "S-Spencer I'm gonnaâoh fuck yes I'm coming!" She cried. Spencer pulled back to see her eyes flutter back into her head and her face twist in pleasure. Her face, neck, and chest were flushed scarlet and he felt as her pussy pulsed around his fingers. The sounds that fell from her lips were more beautiful than anything he'd ever heard. He slowed his fingers down, gently coaxing her through her orgasm.
(Y/N) tugged his hair, pulling him up to crash her lips against his. She then moved those hands to his belt, deftly undoing his belt buckle and fly. Spencer removed his belt and then pushed his pants and briefs to his ankles before kicking them off. (Y/N) reached a hand out and ran her fingers over his cock, her thumb swiping across the tip as it throbbed.
He was aching and leaking into her hand, his hips bucking into her touch while she stroked once, twice, a third time, before guiding the tip between her thighs and pressing him against her entrance. He pushed in immediately, moaning at the heat that enveloped him, and stilled once he was fully sheathed inside of her. He panted heavily as he remained still inside of her, listening to the way she whimpered beneath him.
"S-so good," he whispered, his eyes screwed shut as he tried to keep himself from finishing immediately.
"Yeah? It feels good?" She asked breathlessly.
"Yes!" He moaned. "You feel s-so good." His entire body tensed and his arms trembled under his weight when he felt her begin to writhe beneath him, trying to get some sort of friction between her legs. He took deep breaths before he pulled his hips back and pushed them back forward, earning enthusiastic moans from (Y/N)'s lips as her back arched up off of the bed, her chest pressing into his. He dragged himself back out, then back in, and kept this up until their hips had fallen into rhythm together. Every sound that fell from her lips was more beautiful than the last as Spencer rammed into her and the slap of skin on skin was mixed in with their moans.
"Sp-Spencerâ" a moan cut her off, followed by his lips finding hers and swallowing the moan. His hips sped up and he felt her nails dig into his shoulders.
"Iâoh my godâ(Y/N), I think I'm about to come!" He cried out. He tipped his head back and a desperate whine ripped it's way from his throat as he felt himself growing closer and closer with each disjointed thrust into her and each moan from her lips. "Wh-where do you wantâoh godâwhere should Iâ"
"Give it to me, please!" She mewled underneath him. "Please, please fill me up Spencer, please I needâ" he finished before she could even finish her pleas, moaning loudly as he tensed and spilled every drop into her. He could feel her clench down onto him, could hear her cry out in pleasure and felt her fingernails digging into his shoulders hard enough that he suspected she may have drawn blood, but he couldn't bring himself to care about that through the pleasure coursing through every cell in his body.
By the time he came back down, he could barely hold himself up on his arms with how hard they were trembling. He opened his eyes and was blown away by the sight beneath him. Her hair was tousled and her face and chest were flushed, the latter heaving with her own gasps for air. Spencer leaned in to give her lips a soft kiss before pulling himself out of her. When he looked down in between their legs and saw his seed dripping out of her, his head spun with lust. He was snapped out of it by the sound of a cell phone ringing, and he reached for the source of the sound to determine which of them needed to answer.
When he located the phone beneath his own pants he answered figuring it to be his own phone ringing. "Hello?" He was still breathlessly panting as he looked at (Y/N), her eyes dancing with humor at his tone.
"Reid, is that you?" Garcia's voice came through the phone.
"Yeah, who else would it be?" He asked, gaining back a bit of control over his breathing.
"Well, given that I dialed (Y/N)'s number, perhaps her?" She laughed a little bit. "What are you doing answering (Y/N)'s phone sounding like you just finished a marathon?" She asked, her voice growing more and more excited with each word.
"Iâuh, umâ(Y-Y/N)'s phone?" He stammered, sitting up quickly at the words as he turned his gaze to (Y/N), who was cleaning herself up next to him with some tissues she had grabbed from his side table. Her eyes widened as she heard those two words come from his mouth and her hand shot to cover her mouth to stifle her laughter. "I. uh, I guess I must have grabbed hers by mistake after we ate lunch together at her desk."
"Spencer Reid you really are the world's worst liar!" Garcia laughed from the other end as Spencer felt his entire face burn with embarrassment at being called out on his poor lying skills twice in one evening.
"I-it's for you," he mumbled while he handed her the phone. After he had cleaned himself up, he put his pants and shirt back on while he let (Y/N) focus on her conversation with Garcia, which she managed to continue while getting dressed. Once she had hung up the phone she pressed her fingers to her temples and rubbed slowly while laughing.
"Well, now that Penelope knows so will everyone on the team," she let out a sigh but then smiled at Spencer so sweetly he couldn't help but scoot closer and wrap his arms around her again. They sat like that for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's presence in front of the still muted television.
"Hey, Spencer?" She spoke up eventually.
"Yeah?" He muttered back sleepily while he absent-mindedly played with her hair.
"I'm going to go grab another slice of pizza, want me to bring you one, too?"
#spencer x reader#spencer reid x female reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfiction#dr spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds smut#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x self insert#doctor spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x bau!reader
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Jackson! Joel Miller x Pregnant! Female Reader
snapshots masterlist
summary: When you finally start to show, Joel has a tough time with it as the reality sinks inâheâs going to be a father again.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. (TW) PREGNANCY. established relationship. no mention of readerâs age, however in other works for this universe, it is implied she is younger than Joel, her specific age will never be stated so do with that what you will. brief descriptions of a pregnant womanâs changing body, brief mention of morning sickness, mention of breastfeeding (it only comes up in a conversation very briefly) these subjects can possibly be triggering, especially mentions of a changing body, so while i try to handle everything with the utmost care, i still ask that you proceed with caution. domesticity, reader enjoys taking care of her family, ellie is a little shit, grumpy joel, heâs sort of a dick at first? but only because heâs working through some feelings so letâs forgive him, okay?
word count: 3.5k
a/n: this is part of the snapshots universe, but it could absolutely be read as a standalone too. minimal editing, this has been sitting in my drafts and i did a quick edit during my lunch hour, so please excuse any mistakes.
âShit.â
You almost canât believe your own two eyes. Staring at your reflection in the large, oval shaped mirror hanging over the porcelain bathroom sink, your gaze widens in complete surprise. âJesus Christ,â you mutter, turning to the side. It takes your brain about a good minute or two to process, really process, the way that your belly strains against the thin, white cotton of your camisole. It had seemingly swollen overnightâbecause it hadnât been this prominent the day before, had it?
Over the last few months, thereâd been changes.
Some subtle and some not so subtle.
âEllie! Stop fucking staring at them,â youâd scolded the teenager late one evening during yours and hers weekly game night. For as hard as you tried focusing on what move you should make next, it was hard to concentrate on the chessboard in front of you when you could feel the way her eyes were fixed on your breasts. âI mean it! Quit staring at my boobs, you little shit.â
She held up her hands, her mouth full of popcorn.
âHey, in my defense, theyâre just fucking there, man. If anything, theyâre fucking staring at me, okay?â
During your chess rematch the following week, you had accidentally knocked one of your pawn pieces off of the table. When youâd stood up and bent over to pick it up, she had made the observation that your butt seemed to have gotten a little bigger too.
âBet Joelâs liking these changes,â Ellie had smirked. âIt sure as hell explains why the headboardâs been banging against the wall more than usual lately.â
You threw the pawn at her, smiling in satisfaction when it bounced off her forehead and landed into her glass of lemonade.
One part of your body, however, hadnât changed.
Not until now.
âHon, trust me, you have nothing to be worried about,â Maria had assured you with confidence when you had brought up your concerns about your stomach. âEvery woman, and every pregnancy, is different. I didnât start showing until I was around six months, remember?â
âI guess youâre right.â Youâd been around four months, then. âDoesnât help that I havenât felt the baby move.â
âYou will,â Maria had promised. âJust be patientâ
Biting your lip, you place a hand on your belly.
Itâs always been one of the softer parts of you, but now, itâs firmed into a perfect, round bump.
âMaybe soon Iâll feel you move,â you murmur, giving it a gentle pat. You tug the lace hem of your camisole down as far as it can go and then pull at the elastic waistband of your blue, terry cloth shorts.
Shutting off the lights in the bathroom, you slip out into the bedroom where you find that Joelâs still tangled up in the sheets, fast asleep. He had been assigned to the afternoon patrol route todayânormally an early riser, if he was still snoozing, it meant that he really needed the rest. Deciding it was best to let him keep sleeping for a little while longer, you quietly tiptoe out of your shared bedroom and head downstairs into the kitchen.
After making yourself a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice, and one for the kid as well, you prepare the coffee maker for Joel. You spoon dark roast grounds into the filter and set the timer for the coffee to start brewing in thirty minutes.
He should be up by then, you think, pulling a basket of eggs out of the refrigerator.
Youâre starting to get used to this. Domesticity.
Despite your protests, Maria had made the decision to pull you off patrol that same afternoon you had shared the news of your pregnancy. âIâm putting you on leave,â sheâd told you. âEffective immediately. I donât want to see you outside of these walls. Got it?â
âThatâs not fair, Maria. You were out on patrol untilââ
One stern glare from her had shut you right up.
âFine.â
Sure, you missed it and looked forward to the day when youâd be able to get back into the saddle with your rifle in hand, but this way of life had grown on you. Certainly a lot more than you thought it would.
You enjoyed taking care of the house. Packing Ellie her lunch for school and checking her homework. Having a nice a meal on the table for the three of you to enjoy in the comfort of your own home instead of having to go down to the crowded mess hall for supper because you and Joel were both always much, much too tired after a long day out on patrol to bother with cooking.
With the baby due to arrive in the winter, looking after your little family had become your purpose, and you did not mind it one bit.
As strips of bacon sizzle in one pan on the gas powered stove, you crack a couple of eggs into another, knowing the kid is already on her way downstairs. You can hear the sound of her old, tattered low top sneakers that you have been trying to throw away for almost a year now squeaking on the kitchen tiles just as you finish plating her breakfast.
âMorning!â Ellie pipes, the loud plop of her backpack into a chair prompting you to turn around. âWhatâs for breaâwhoa! Holy shit!â Her brown eyes widen in shock when she sees you and her jaw drops. âDude.â
âEllie,â you say her name warningly as you walk over to the table. âDonât.â
âYouâre bigger!â
With a playful glare, you set her plate down, along with her glass of orange juice. âThanks a lot, you little jerk.â You feign offense. âYouâre making your own eggs from now on.â
âFuck, Iâm sorry.â Ellieâs cheeks flush a shade of red and she squirms, sputtering apologetically, âI swear, I donât mean it like that at all. Itâs just, your stomach, it didnâtâyou didnât look like this last night, you know?â
Sheâs fucking lucky that your raging hormones decided to take the morning off duty.
âYou look different. I mean, you look greatââ
âEllie?â
âYeah?â
âJust shut up and eat.â
âDeal.â
She shoots you a sheepish grin and sits down, scarfing down her food in her usual manner.Â
âYou get your fractions homework done?â
âYeah.â Ellie huffs, rolling her eyes. âTook me forever. I was up until fucking midnight.â
Amused, you offer, âWant me to check your work?â
âSure.â
As Ellie inhales the rest of her breakfast, you pull out a green, single subject notebook from her backpack and look over her homework for miscalculations.
âSo, uh, how are you feeling?â she asks after a minute.
âIâm feeling alright. I think the morning sickness finally stopped, so canât complain.â Shrugging, you close the notebook and stick it into her backpack. âYou did good, kid. Only got two problems wrong.â
âMan, I really wish we knew whether itâs a boy or girl,â Ellie mumbles through a mouthful of scrambled eggs. âWhat do you want to have, anyway?â
âIt doesnât matter to me, Ellie,â you answer, honestly. Clocking the skepticism on her face, you laugh and say, âItâs true. As long as the babyâs healthy, thatâs all I care about.â And you mean it. As an expectant mother in the post outbreak world where medicine is scarce, supplies are limited, and the closest thing you have to a hospital is the townâs old clinic, the only thing you can hope for is the smooth, safe delivery of a healthy child.
Before she can say anything, you both catch the sound of Joelâs heavy boots as he descends the staircase.
She quirks an eyebrow. âUh, has Joel seen you yet?â
Grimacing, you shake your head. âNo.â
âWell, I donât wanna be here for all that awkward,â Ellie says, chugging the rest of her orange juice. She stands up and snatches up her backpack, along with her lunch bag, which youâd packed for her earlier that morning. Just as sheâs about to whirl around on the heel of her sneaker and make a run for the front door, she pauses, watching as you make your way back over to the stove to light another flame. âUnless you want me to be?â
âIâll be fine, Ellie,â you assure her. âGo on, get to school. Maybe youâll be on time to class for once.â
âIf you say so.â She wishes you luck and then bolts out of the kitchen, throwing a quick goodbye at Joel on the way out. âSee ya later, old man!â
Nervously, you turn around and start cracking another two eggs into the pan. Thereâs no telling how heâs going to react.
Joelâs been fairly supportive since youâd found out you were pregnant, considering how unplanned it was. But you know him like the back of your own hand, and you know, despite the numerous times heâs denied it, that it has been weighing heavily on him. Each time youâd try to sit down to talk to him about it, he would brush you off and insist he was fine. But he wasnât fine.
And you wish he would spit it out and tell you why.
In your periphery, you notice the stained glass butterfly he had hung in front of the window above the sink, the ornament catching and refracting the sunlight. Flecks of color dance across the walls in captivating patterns, brightening the space. You think of the sweet little girl heâd hung it for, the little girl he rarely talks about, that he keeps tucked away safely in his memory.
You bite back a small sigh.
By now, youâve learned not to push him. Especially not about what he was feeling. He would tell you when he was ready.
âWho the hell lit a fire under her ass this morninâ?â Joel asks gruffly as he walks into the kitchen. âShe ainât ever this fuckinâ eager to go to school.â
âNot sure,â you reply in the most nonchalant tone you can muster as you use a spatula to scramble the eggs. Transferring them onto a plate, you add three strips of bacon, and then pour his coffee. âI have your breakfast ready, Joel. Have a seat.â
You hear a chair scrape against the tile.
âI keep tellinâ you I can make my own breakfast, darlinâ.â
âAnd I keep telling you I donât mind making it for you,â you quip, and you hear him grumble something under his breath.
Inhaling a deep, calming breath through your nose, you take the plate of eggs and bacon in one hand, and his cup of coffee in the other. Your fingers grasp the handle of his ceramic, owl mug in a near death grip. You exhale slowly, and then turn around to face him.
He sees your swollen middle and stiffens in his chair.Â
The tension is instantaneous. Palpable.
Uncomfortable.
Awkwardly, you shift from one foot to the other.
âYour belly,â Joel murmurs, a visible tick in his jaw as his gaze drags over your midsection. âSâbigger.â
âYeah. It is. Guess Iâm going to have to start trading for maternity clothes soon,â you remark, shuffling over to the table. Setting down the plate and mug of coffee in front of him, you take a seat across the table. Your eyes try desperately to meet his, but they refuse. Thereâs no way for you to decipher what heâs thinking. You let out a small, nervous laugh. âCan you please say something?âÂ
He lightly clears his throat. âIâll take you to Main Street on Saturday,â he tells you, picking up his mug. âIâve got the day off from patrol. Iâll, uh, pick through some of my own things and see what I donât need so we can make a trade for some clothes.â He pauses, then offers quietly, âIn the meantime, you can wear my shirts. They might be more comfortable for you.â
You flash him a grateful smile. âThank you, Joel.â
Sipping his coffee, he continues to avoid your gaze.
âMhm,â is all he says.
Your smile falters.
Itâs the middle of August.
The afternoon heat is sweltering. Unforgiving.
âJesus, itâs a fuckinâ scorcher,â Tommy sighs, glancing over towards the lake where his mare, Maxine, is taking a drink beside his brotherâs stallion, Phoenix. His raven curls are damp with sweat, plastered to his forehead. âHotter than the devilâs fuckinâ balls out here, ainât it?â
Heâs met with silence.
Looking over his shoulder, he sees Joel leaning against a tree, his rifle in hand as he stares at the Grand Tetons in the distance almost like heâs in a trance. âJoel?â
Blinking furiously, Joel shakes his head. âSorry, you say somethinâ to me just now?â He asks in a daze, pushing away from the lodgepole pine. âWe headinâ out?â
âYouâve been actinâ real strange all afternoon,â Tommy observes, walking towards him with his own gun slung over his shoulder. âEither the heat is startinâ to get to you, or youâve got somethinâ on your mind, big brother.â
Joel hesitates. His dark eyes flit to the other side of the lake where the other members of their afternoon patrol group are refilling their canteens with water.
âSâalright,â his younger brother says. âDonât worry âbout them. Canât hear us.â
Joelâs chest heaves with a heavy sigh. âShe popped.â
âHuh?â
âHer belly finally popped. Sheâs showinâ now.â
Amused, Tommy lightly shakes his head. âYâshouldnât be so surprised, Joel. Was âbout time,â he remarks with a shrug. âWhat is sheâlike six months along now?â
âSheâll be six months in a couple weeks.â Joel wipes the perspiration off his brow with the back of his hand and sighs once more. âLook, I ainât stupid, Tommy. I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, but it still caught me by surprise. When I saw her, it became real for me. Sheâs got my kid in there. Iâm gonna be a dad again.â
âYouâre scared.â Itâs not a question, itâs a statement.
âShitless,â Joel confesses, feeling his chest tighten.Â
âWhat are you afraid of?â
Joel almost laughs.
He doesnât know where to start.
Heâs afraid of everything.
âAll of it, Tommy. Iâm afraid for her, havinâ to give birth with no medicine,â he tells him, his voice breaking. âIâm afraid I wonât remember what to do with a newborn or that I wonât know how to help her durinâ those first few monthsââ
âThis ainât your first rodeo,â Tommy reminds him. âYou did it once, and you did just fine, Joel.â
âThat was over three fuckinâ decades ago. And it was a different world. If Sarahââ He stops, taking a second to catch his breath. The image of his daughterâs little face flashing in his mind feels like a violent punch to the gut. Even after all this time, it still knocks all of the wind out of his lungs. âWhen her mom had trouble breastfeedinâ her, I could head to the grocery store and buy her baby formula. If she got a real bad fever, I could load her up in the truck and drive her to the emergency room.â He glances down at his broken watch. âBesides, I was a lot younger, then. And I wasnât half fuckinâ deaf like I am now. When Sarah would wake up cryinâ in the middle of the night because she needed a diaper change, Iâd hear her. What if I canât hear my own kid cryinâ?â
âJoelââ
âIâm in my fifties. What if I canât keep up because Iâm too fuckinâ old?â
Tommy reaches out, clapping a hand onto his shoulder.
âBrother, I need you to take a fuckinâ breath,â he says, chuckling softly. âYouâre puttinâ the weight of the world of your shoulders right nowâyou need to put some of it down. Look, we might not have everythinâ we used to before the world ended, but we make do with what we do have. Considerinâ just how many growinâ families we have and how many little ones weâve got runninâ around our town, Iâd say itâs workinâ out pretty fuckin well.â He gives his shoulder an encouraging squeeze. âAnd as far as your ability to be a good dad, youâve still got it, Joel. You know what to do, and so does she. Iâve seen her in action with my little boy, and it seems like sheâs already got those maternal instincts, yâknow?â
âYeah, she does,â Joels agrees quietly, thinking of how you had stepped up to help him care for Ellie.
âTrust me, between the two of you, itâll be alright.â
He peers at him. âYou really believe I still got it in me?â
âI do.â Tommy smiles. âYou never stopped knowinâ how to be a father, Joel. Youâre gonna be just fine.â
Their patrol shift extends into the evening, turning into a double, and itâs late when he gets home.Â
âWhat the hell are you still doinâ up?â Joel asks when he finds Ellie sitting at the kitchen table, cursing to herself as she flips through the stale, yellowing pages of an old life science text book.
âWhat does it fucking look like, man?â
âShouldnât have waited until the last minute, kiddoââ
Ellie holds up a hand and cuts him off.
âSave the lecture for another time, dude. Iâm busy.â
Joel rolls his eyes. âFinish up and get to bed. Sâlate.â
Without waiting for some smartass response, he turns on the heel of his boot and then heads upstairs to your shared bedroom. He flips on the lights only to find that youâre already in bed, fast asleep, wearing nothing but one of his t-shirts and a pair of panties. He toes off his boots and leaves them by the door, being as quiet as he possibly can as he rummages through his top drawer for some clean boxers to sleep in.
He slips into the bathroom where he takes a quick, hot shower, scrubbing off that dayâs sweat, dirt, and grime. After heâs dressed and his sopping wet, salt and pepper curls are haphazardly towel dried, Joel walks back out into the bedroom where he switches off the lights and climbs into bed next to you.
He lays on his side and heâs just about to close his eyes when he feels a light shift beside him. You roll over and curl into him, your belly pressing up against his curve of his spine.
He stiffens, freezing as if someone had just placed the barrel of their pistol against his back, their finger over the trigger.
Christ, get a damn grip, he thinks silently to himself.
Joel thinks about that morning in the kitchen.
He knows his reaction had hurt you. Or rather, his lack of a reaction. His shitty ways of coping arenât your fault, and his struggle to come to terms with your pregnancy sure as hell isnât your fault, either. He owed it to you to try harder to be the man you needed.
The man you both needed.
Joelâs train of thought comes to a screeching halt when he feels a soft flutter against his middle of his back, the spot right where your tummy is nestledâdid the baby just move?
He lies still, waiting to see if he feels it again, and when he doesnât, he rolls over to face you, causing you to stir.
âJoel?â you mumble his name, sleepily. âWhat timeâ?â
âShh,â Joel soothes, pulling you into his bare chest. He kisses your temple. âSâokay, baby. Go back to sleep.â
He doesnât have to tell you twice.
Within seconds, youâre asleep again, snuggled into him and snoring softly.
Lifting a hand, he hesitates, then rests it on your belly.
He waits.
And waits.
And waits.
And waits.
Until the minutes turn into hours.
Until dawnâs light filters in through the lace curtains.Â
Until he finally feels that little flutter again.
He feels it against the palm of his hand. Faint, nothing more than a brief whisper against his skin, but there is no mistaking it.
Heâd just felt the babyâs movement.
Thereâs a sudden shift.
Tense muscles that had been painfully wound up since the moment youâd mentioned to him your period was a week late back in the spring loosen slightlyâthe breath he had been holding since heâd picked up that positive pregnancy test from the bathroom counter finally falls from his lips, fanning over yours.
His fears, his worries, his uncertainties about what lies ahead, theyâre all still there, of course, but he finds they are now accompanied by a glimmer of hope, a sliver of optimism that maybe, just maybe, Joel doesnât have to be as afraid as he is.
Joelâs eyes glaze over your face, warmth radiating in his chest when you breathe a little a sigh of content in your sleep as he gently rubs your stomach through his shirt.
With his hand still splayed over your belly, he closes his eyes and begins to drift off, falling into the most decent sleep heâs had in the last few months.
Maybe his brotherâs right.
Maybe he will be just fine.
divider credit to @saradika đ¤
#tw pregnancy#joel miller x you#joel miller x reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x pregnant reader#joel miller one shot#joel miller drabble#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#fic: snapshots
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