#this has been a really rewarding experience and im so glad to have done this project

[princeyam]

now that @sheikzine is wrapping up, i finally get to share all the artwork ive done for this project! first is the banner i drew for the zine, all the way back in july 2022

[bennybenbenji]

Very useful video! Not only in describing the experience familiar but seldom put into words for those with ADHD, but also for those without to better understand. I already have a couple people in mind who I would like to show this video.

One of the things that I’d like to address is the need for medication. While I personally don’t use medication, I appreciate how forthright the speaker is with its efficacy. I’m adverse to medication personally, and I know it’s just stubbornness. I’ve managed to get by on my own without it and I intend to continue this way for the foreseeable future. A large part is due to my work and schooling being genuinely interesting and rewarding to me. Passion and interest is something I have been able to foster and it helps me achieve my goals. I am very fortunate in this regard. My mother is very similar and I look up to her for the skills she has developed.

I thought I already knew everything that this video had to offer already, but I was surprised on two accounts. The first was the intensity of emotions. I have always felt that most people have so much ease with their handling their emotions in comparison to me. It’s a nice feeling to know that there is a real reason for that. I definitely also relate to the sudden onset of Major Depression and the flash rage. When I was younger, I really tried to keep it all bottled up inside. I still kind of do, but I have more healthy outlets.

The other surprise was in how children with ADHD can see through false praise. I work teaching kids tennis, so it was powerful to me that some of them wouldn’t respond well to mindless affirmations as Im leading drills. I’ll probably just tell them this information. Would’ve done me a lot of good at their age. I remember not ever feeling recognized within the school system. There was a weird nepotism thing that got a bunch of my old teachers fired after I left, so that didn’t help.

This video was a nice distraction from not being able to sleep. I should try again though. Really glad I stumbled across this.

"How ADHD Shapes Your Emotions, Perceptions and Motivations" by William Dodson, M.D.

AKA, one of the best informational and sympathetic videos I've ever seen on ADHD. I have included a link that specifically takes you to the start of the lecture. It's an hour long but don't let that scare you. From around 10 min-20 minutes is the meat of the lecture and the part that made me almost start crying at my desk from feeling so understood for once.

There were also parts that legitimately made me gasp, like finding out that 82 tests that treat ADHD with cognitive behavioral therapy and didn't include a medication element returned literally zero results and that basically mixed treatment was a, "Well, it couldn't hurt!" recommendation but in fact, far and away, medication is the treatment and it fucking works and there is in fact also medicinal treatment for rejection sensitivity dysphoria (which for those with ADHD means even minor criticism can hit us like a literal knife in the chest of physical pain).

Anyway, I highly recommend this video for understanding RSD, ADHD, and how the ADHD nervous system works (aka, we're not ignoring that task on purpose) and it's one of the most worthwhile videos I've ever heard. It's long-ish at an hour (the second half is Q&A though) so I recommend throwing it on during a commute or while doing some other mindless task like chores or idle games.

[bontens-new-executive]

Yahoo~♡ may I join your event^_^?

The things I like about the characters and the ones I would like is:

Ran Haitani: personality, his playfulness, caring for his brothers and close ones, his visuals, fashion style and experience in fighting.

Takashi Mitsuya: personality, his visuals, fashion style, thoughtfulness, his kindness to people, his matureness and experience in fights.

Chifuyu Matsuno: personality like his playful side, visuals, fighting experience, kindness, fashion style, his silly and soft side.

My fav activities at Christmas is watching the Christmas movies(like Mickey mouse and Ferdinand the bull), opening the presents and have movie marathons at the evening^_^♡

My favourite thing about Christmas is the dinner. Because I love the food on Christmas :3

It would be nice to have this in the evening but if you have a better idea then I'll kindly accept it^_^♡

Female reader♡

I would like headcanons but you can turn it into a story if you would like to♡♡♡

If you want to I live angst, then I'll accept it and like it♡

I hope this wasn't too much text and I wish you a great year!!!♡♡♡♡

Christmas and 200 follower event

Note: im literally s t r u g g l i n g with the pictures so imma keep looking for the right ones

Requests Masterlist event Christmas playlist

___________________

Ran - movie night

Hes usually busy with gang stuff but for christmas, he'll make time just for you

hes very excited to see and spend time with you

Matching pj's. I'm 100% convinced.

he'll take you from wherever you are and bring you to the couch

And with take, I mean pick you up and throw you over his shoulder

Laughs if you try to fight him to let you down

But of course he won't

Will make it up with a ton of kisses though

snacks are already on the table and the movie itself is also ready to go

It starts with an arm around your shoulders but in the end both of you are tangled and cuddled up

He smiles slightly when you laugh about something in the movie

Ran is really, and I mean really, glad that you're enjoying yourself so much with him around

Because that shows that you trust him and that you're comfortable with him, which is like the biggest reward for him

Would tease you if you cry during a movie, but will also wipe your tears away

Chifuyu - presents time

CHIFUYU IS A SOFT BABY

Depending on how you celebrate Christmas and how you open presents,

If you open presents in the evening, he'll be excited all day long

Constantly reminding you "today we're gonna open our presents! I know you'll love yours!"

Hes very excited for you to see what he got you

If you open presents in the morning, then he'd be up early and ready to open presents

And for about 10 minutes he's debating if he should wake you up or if he should wait and let you sleep

Mans struggling

Once you both are up he's pulling you with him

Always with a big smile on his face

And sparkling eyes

Hes more excited for you to open your presents than for him opening his own

Since he's been up for a while already, he put some cookies on the table, together with some christmas movies and some hot chocolate/coffee/tea

He'd also be very touchy, wanting a lot of hugs and kisses

Probably always has an arm or hand on you

Just wants to feel you warmth

Mistuya - romantic dinner

Since mitsuya cares a lot about his friends and family, he would always celebrate Christmas together with all of them

but sometimes he wants some alone time with you

So you guys went to mikeys to celebrate together and then excused yourselves, going back to your shared home

Mitsuya would hold your hand as you talked about mikey and draken jokingly bickering a few minutes ago and other funny things that happened

He'd smile to himself while listening to you, he's genuinely happy that you grew so close to his family

It means a lot to him

Once home, he'd have some of the dinner pre-cooked, so only a few things had to be done

You guys would cook together with music playing in the back, probably something slow and calm

The dinner itself was quite romantic, with candles, flowers and dimmed lights 

I'm 10/10 convinced that he'd hold your hand across the table while looking you in the eyes as you both talk about different things

You would give each other little gifts after the dinner

Something small but meaningful

And for the end of the evening, mitsuya would put on a slow song and lead you with him, holding you against his chest

Ending the dinner with some slow dancing

He just enjoys being close to you

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: March 30th, 2021- Part 1

We’ve been really focused on getting the Step 3 DLC done and keeping up with asks kind of got away from me, aha. Thank you for waiting for a reply! We’re still definitely behind, but here’s a good chunk of responses!

I love Our Life so much but if the release of the step 3 dlc is in April, please don't "release" it on April 1, my poor heart can't take that prank 😭

Don’t worry! I’m horrible at pranks, haha. When we do post something specifically for April Fool’s it’s always to pretend it’s a joke when in reality it’s something we’re actually planning to do. But we don’t have anything like that arranged for this year. Any posts on April 1st will just be like normal.

Omigod, can you end the game in love with Cove but not in a relationship? My character stayed calm at the restaurant and Cove slept over at her home and I think I may have missed it. I'm delirious if I did, may never stop laughing. The children are idiots 

Haha, yes, it is possible to be in love and still not get into an actual relationship. There’s no forced ending where the two are made to confess their feelings and accept, it’s all optional/avoidable.

How can you see the new main character cut-in images? I'm not trying to be rude, but, all of my playthroughs, but I haven't seen them yet. (I know you can go through an entire game without seeing them, but I have went through multiple games.) 

It’s a bit of a spoiler to say here, but you can check out the guide we posted on Steam HERE!

Is it possible to win first place in the library quiz with Lizzy (Step 1 DLC) 

Yep, it is! Someone made a guide for the answers HERE (it’s also on Steam). We probably shouldn’t have required a perfect score to win a children quiz, but oh well, haha.

Hello!

In the future (in step 4) can you marry Cove even if you are friends? I would love to have a platonic wedding with him!

I’m afraid not. As much as he cares for the MC when they’re besties, Cove would only really want an official marriage if it’s based on romance.

Hello! I bumped into Our Life randomly last month, and it is one of the best coincidences I have ever laid on. I love how the choices and little details in the story changes throughout the game, and I'm excited to keep supporting you! I'm absolutely in love with Cove and would like to ask what keeps him to be especially interested in the MC? Other than how you can choose what fondness level you have with him, what ultimately leads him to be in sync with us? Sorry if it's a little much & thank u! 

Cove likes the MC because, regardless of the different personality traits you can give the MC, they meet him on his level, listen to him, understand him (even if you’re indifferent and not really close the MC still gets where he’s coming from), and if you’re fond/crush/love than you’re there for him. He finds the MC someone he can respect, trust, and, if they’re close, feel safe with. I’m glad you enjoyed the game!

hi there! for xoxo droplets i see the that female pronouns are used in the description, in the actual game can you change the pronouns or are they stuck as female? i'm aware the game is free, but i have a bad habit of buying dlc's before playing the game so it would be helpful to know before i spend money on it. if anything i'll save that money for more our life dlcs when they come out :D

XOXO Droplets does have a set MC. It’s the story of a specific person rather than a game about making your own story. All of our games prior to Our Life were about exploring MCs that were fully fleshed out people in their own right, so you can’t get the OL experience from what we did before. But we do plan to do more custom-style MCs going forward from here!

For the our life nsfw dlc, will you have to be in the patron to have it or  will there be another way for people who really support the game but can't pay to get it? 

I’m afraid not. We might put it up for sale somewhere other than Patreon someday (though never on Steam or Itch) since we know not everyone can use that site, but it will still cost money on any other hosting page we use. It’s unfortunately not a piece of content we can give away for free.

Hello! I finally got to play Xoxo Blood Droplets and it mentioned about a DLC coming out soon. Is it already out or are you still planning it?

We are still planning to finish it when we can, we just had to put it on hold because 2020 was a tough year and we needed to put all our focus on Our Life. There’s some of the extra DLC stories available for beta testing on the Patreon.

Is there a link to the soundtrack for Xoxo Blood Droplets? I really like the music in this game! 

That’s not available yet, but we’ll probably put it up for sale once the rest of the stories are done.

Would there be any chance for XOXO Droplets OSTs to be released in the future? (Please take my money-) 

We might! There are some things we wanna do and fix before we really start advertising XOXO Droplets things again, but hopefully it all comes together.

Why does Cove dislike Shiloh so much despite all of Shiloh's efforts to get along? I can understand his dislike for Lizzie, but why Shiloh? 

They met under bad terms (with an arranged play date he had no choice in), Shiloh’s sort of pushy himself when it comes to trying to get along, and Cove thinks he’s just kind of unusual in how he interacts/reacts with people. They don’t click, basically.

Is there a way to have your character be a tsundere? And have Cove toughened up a bit due to that? Sorry if the is a stupid question! ^^;

Maybe? The options in the game aren’t based on those types of personality tropes and I don’t know them well enough to say if you can accurately find a way to make it work with the available options. But it’s not a stupid question, I’m sure plenty of other people have considered something similar c:

do voiced names work only with their exact spelling? cause my mc is called Sophia and one of the voiced names is Soffia so i was wondering but if only works like that it's fine (sorry if i made any mistakes, english isn't my first language) 

“Voice” and “text” are separate! You can pick the “voice” you want and then type in whatever “text” you prefer. And your English is really good.

Will OL:NF be based on a season/break like the first game? Or some other type of setting? 

Our Life: Now & Forever takes place over the full course of Autumn. So, the start of school and then into the fall holiday season type of time period.

Will we ever see a jealous cove😭😭 please im begging u- 

Only in small ways, really. Sadly, I’m just not someone who enjoys jealousy in stories and therefore I don’t know how to implement it in a way that feels enjoyable. Maybe I’ll figure out a angle I can work with in future projects.

Do you have any plans with Our Life once step 4 has been released along with step 3's DLCs? 

After the Step 3 DLCs and Step 4 we’ll be releasing the Cove wedding DLC, the Derek romance DLC, and then the Baxter romance DLC. The project will likely be considered fully complete at that point.

Hello, I just needed to first of all sat how amazed I was when I discovered this game. I thought I would be disappointed by the lack of love interests, but you worked so hard to make sure Cove is the Best Boy for so many different people!! It really has been my comfort game for a while now, and I think all the different choices you allow make it the best romance game I’ve played in my life. The only problem is now my expectations for love are Cove level, and no one can live up to that. You’ve put so much consideration to make this game super inclusive and I think it’s amazing. If I can ask, for the exclusive NSFW Patreon dlc, will it only be available for the month it comes out? Or could I become a patron months later and still be able to download it. I just don’t have a job right now otherwise I would LOVE to subscribe to your Patreon and definitely will once I have the money again!! Thank you so so much for making such a lovely game that’s brought me so much joy.

&

Hiya! I'm so sorry for sounding like a complete degenerate for asking, but will the nsfw moment on patreon still be available even if i'm not a patron of the month it comes out? (e.g. i didnt pay/join the necessary tier before the moment is released) Thank you for your hard work on OL, I really connected with Cove in a way I never anticipated.

Thank you very much for such kind words! The Patreon DLC will be up for download on the Patreon indefinitely once it’s done. Just like the normal DLCs, you can pay to get it whenever you like but it won’t be up for sale until it’s finished. So take all the time you need.

Sorry to bother you guys, but there was an earlier ask detailing the OL LI's love languages and I was just wondering- Would that be for them personally, as in what they do, or the love language they enjoy receiving the most? Because I know for some people it's different for both on giving and receiving and was a bit confused, haha. Sorry for the trouble, your games are really nice!

For Cove and Derek it’s what they like to receive and what they give. For Baxter, it’s what he likes to get. What he gives is tailored to his partner. He’s flexible that way~ And it’s no trouble.

asking (and also fanning... fanboying? fangirling? fanpersoning? screw it- from a distance) anonymously because my confidence is nonexistent.

will you be doing a kickstarter for our life: now and forever? i know it's probably been asked and mentioned before, but will you be doing a kickstarter akin to the one done for our life: beginnings and always? if so, will you be doing similar tier rewards? (if you guys do so, i will [politely] throw my money at you).

now, to the fan.. personing? FAN. uhm. to the part where this anonymous agender idiot will begin to act as the fan they are.

THE GAME IS SO. SO NICE. IT'S CUSTOMIZABLE. I'M REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THAT PART. AAAAA I ALSO ENJOY THAT YOU GAVE US THE OPTION TO JUST STAY BEST FRIENDS OR SOMETHING A8DBAIHEW- AND YOU INCLUDED AROS AND ACES IN THAT SEXUALITY CHOOSING PART- aaaAAA AND YOU MADE ELIZABETH FILIPINO- THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR CREATING SUCH AN INCLUSIVE GAME!!!

to summarize; will you be doing a kickstarter? and thank you for creating such a nice game. i, and likely the majority if not all of those who have played the game, am thankful.

Aw, thanks <3! I’m so happy it was such a nice experience for you. We are planning on having a Kickstarter for Our Life: Now & Forever. It’ll have similar rewards to the Our Life: O&A Kickstarter, but some changes will have to be made. Like, we’ll definitely need to increase the rate for getting a voiced name. Originally it was $3USD, which was super low for how much work it really took to add in a customized piece of voice acting, aha. Live and learn.

So sorry if you've already answered this, I looked but I couldn't find anything. Is the 18+ DLC coming out alongside the Step 3 DLC, or do they have different development timelines entirely? I'm so excited for all the DLC coming out in the future, and even though the release dates aren't out, I'm already counting down the days. :)

They have different development times and will come out separately. Despite taking place in the same Step period, they’re disconnected pieces of content and making progress on one doesn’t mean the other is closer to being finished. The normal Step 3 DLC is releasing first. It’s great to hear you’re looking forward to them!

Hey!! I'm absolutely LOVING Our Life! I have been pondering on one question though, what's Cove's ethnicity, if there is a set one? Or is it something we can Headcanon? 

&

hi hi! i wanted to say first of all that i absolutely adore our life. it's one of my favourite games of 2020, and i think it was just the perfect dose of positivity we all needed, even if you didn't intend to release it during such a hectic year lol! secondly, i wanted to say: if it's alright to ask, what ethnicity is cove? :-0 and what about his parents? i was just curious about it ^^)/ thank you!!

Cove’s mom, Kyra, is white. But his dad’s, Cliff’s, race doesn’t come up and players are able to headcanon it. So Cove is half white and half whatever you prefer Cliff to be! 

hello! there was a post on the patreon where you can run your fingers down cove's chest in errands - how do you get that scene? ♥ 

That was an old mistake on my part- you can only get that scene in the Ending rather Errands. You have to leave the big family dinner at the restaurant to go into the car, be dating Cove for a while, have Cove come see you there, and then mention using your hands when Cove makes a joke about hands.

in baxter’s dlc, is there any point where you can tell him about the previous renters of the condo? 

You can talk to him about that in the normal Step 3 DLC!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you for all the interest in our games everybody :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Nsfw request: Can you do Jumin with an MC who wants to give him a blowjob but is to shy to say it? (please nobody has taken this request! I just want to worship my husband! 😋😂)

I want to worship him too lmao 🤤😂

Lesson time (Jumin x MC, nsfw)

You and Jumin had been together for a while now. You both loved each other so much. You’d always wait for him to come home, and later at night he’d cuddle with you in bed and talk to you.

Since you had been married for a while, Jumin could now feel free and make love to you whenever he wanted. He’d make you feel so much pleasure, hitting your best spots and focousing that you enjoyed every last bit of it. He spoiled you so much.

So you wanted to do something for him. For a while you’d been thinking about being dominant for a bit, making Jumin feel as much plesure as you. So you wanted to give him a blow job.

The thing was....you were too shy to do it.

I mean Jumin and you had done way mor embarrassing stuff, but it still made you shy to go up to him and do it.

Also...you may have never really given a blow job before.

You were so frustrated, because you really wanted to please Jumin! But whenever you gained the courage to actually do it you backed down, which made you even more angry and frustrated.

Jumin had noticed that your mood was a bit off lately, and that whenever he’d ask you what was wrong you’d open your mouth to say something, but then you’d close it and just say it was nothing.

But Jumin was taking none of that, so one night while you were both laying in bed, cuddling, Jumin cupped your cheeks and made you look at him.

“Love, is everything alright? You haven’t been in a good mood lately. Is anything frustrating you?”

You immediately blushed and looked to the other side, which made Jumin think you were first of all, super cute, and second of all, a bit worried since he hated thinking that anything could be troubling you.

You slowly sat up on the bed and sat on your knees, turning around to look at Jumin, and then you grabbed his hands.

“U-um...well...Jumin...it’s a bit embarrassing ok! So please don’t judge me but um....whenever we...well...have...you know. You always make sure I have the best experience ever. Whenever we do it I end up being on cloud nine, and you just...you do it so good! And you keep on spoiling me! So I wanted to give you something back in return...l-like a...ablowjob” You whispered the last bit and looked down, trying to hide your blush.

You both stayed in silence for a few minutes until Jumin caressed your cheek and chuckled.

“J-Jumin! It’s not funny! Seriously I’ve been trying to do it for weeks, but I-I don’t know how! And I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of you...”

Jumin pressed his forehead against yours and smiled. “It’s alright love. Thanks for being honest with me. You don’t have to do that sort of stuff to please me, just seeing you happy is what matters to me”

You blushed, and Jumin gave you a chaste kiss. Soon enough, the kiss became rougher, but you pulled away before he could take it any further.

“But Jumin! I really reall want to do it! I want to make you feel good too you know?”

Jumin was honestly surprised, and he felt his heart warm at the thought of you wanting to please him as much as he pleased you. After a few minutes, he smirked and looked at you. “Well Y/N, how about I teach you? That way next time you won’t be too shy to do it.” You turned red, which made Jumin feel even more excited, and then you slowly nodded as Jumin quickly took his pants off.

“Alright. Kneel on the floor.” He ordered, and you got quickly on your knees, Jumin looking down at you with a dominant glint in his eyes. He then took his underwear off, revealing his already hard length. Even though you had seen it contless of times, it still made you flush and gape at the sight of it.

“Now, you have to grab it gently with one hand, like this.” He grabbed your hand and helped you wrap it around his member. “And now, you have to lick.”

You gulped and slowly took the tip in, making Jumin chuckle, but he stopped when you glared at him.

“Mmph, like this Jumin?” You started sucking on his length, and started licking over his tip, making sure to get every single spot.

Jumin groaned and nodded, tangling his fingers in your hair. “Suck a bit more.” He told you, and you obeyed.

As his grip on your hair became harder, Jumin bit his lip and made you look up at him. “Let me help you a bit, I just can’t hold back anymore.”

You were about to ask what did he mean when Jumin suddenly thrust his length, hard, into your mouth, making you gasp. You let out a muffled moan, as Jumin thrust in a quick and rough pace.

He pulled your hair back, so you’d be looking up at him, and he licked his lips.

“Hmph. You look so beautiful right now...ahh...I guess I wouldn’t mind doing this from time to time. You’re doing great love.”

You slowly moved your hands towards your core, rubbing your sweet spot as Jumin kept fucking your mouth, making him let out a chuckle.

“Mmh, I guess doing this made you feel excited too. Very well, uhm, a-as soon as we’re done here I’ll make sure to give you a special reward.”

As Jumin came closer and closer to his climax, you decided to tease him a bit. So you looked at him and fluttered your eyelashes, making Jumin’s eyes widen.

What you didn’t expect was to make him come from that.

Jumin moaned, and he came into your mouth, his thrust slowing down.

You coughed and pulled away a bit, as you tried to see what to do with his cum, but Jumin suddenly grabbed your mouth.

“Drink it.” He said.

You felt your face go red, but then you gulped and swallows everything. Your throat was sore, and tears were in the corner of your eyes.

You panted as you looked up at Jumin, who looked to be really pleased with you. He helped you stand up and guided you so you’d be straddling him, gripping your hips tightly.

You kissed him, cupping his head in your hands, and then Jumin pulled away, smiling at you sweetly.

“You did an amazing job love. But we’re going to have to practice a few times so you can get used to the feeling.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” You whispered, and hugged him tight.

“Now, for being so good, I’ll give you a little present~” Jumin whispered in your ear, and before you could ask what he meant, Jumin quickly thrust into you from below, making you moan in pleasure.

The rest of the evening Jumin made sure to pamper you as much as he could. He felt so happy that you were trying to spoil him a bit, that he couldn’t help but spoil you even more.

Whenever you gave him blow jobs, he enjoyed it so much. He loved seeing your flustered face and you looking up at him with your big eyes, tears forming.

He definetly liked it, and he made sure to later give you a special reward for being so good.

Bonus (after the bed tango):

MC: wait Jumin how do you know how to give blowjobs?

Jumin: Zen taught me

MC: Aw how nice of him

Jumin:

MC:

Jumin:

MC:

MC: Wait Zen wHaT?!

Jumin: 👁👄👁 im in danger

And that’s how the rumor of does Jumin Han is gae finally got answered!

(Imkiddinglmaodontkillmeplease)

[ask-the-party-god]

The Birthday - Part 1

DAVE: and its like

DAVE: sure you know whatever fuck it

KARKAT: …

DAVE: im too deep and invested in this fucking story already

DAVE: if attila the hun can be santa i guess she can also be the reincarnation of an alien god with yaoi hands

DAVE: what do i even know

KANAYA: (How Did This Conversation Devolve Into This Again Dear)

ROSE: (I have no idea, but I’ve counted seven tangents from the original conversation topic already, and I’m expecting it all to come back to the start in another four, give or take.)

 The Thirteenth of April. An Earth-wide celebrated holiday, the day of Creation, the day the Creators returned and graced the inhabitants of the world they made with their presence, the day they descended to stay, and live among mortals. The day you won the game, and claimed the Ultimate Reward, as rulers of a new reality.

To be completely honest, you never really jelled with the grandiose vibe of this holiday.

ROXY: and she was like, ‘ur an outlaw of gender’ and im like oh my fuckin god thats the BEST thing anyone has ever done w/ my title <3 im savin that one

DIRK: Fitting, for sure.

DIRK: I recall a similar experience in the past with my own Mythological Role.

CALLIOPE: i believe that was a conversation we had, in fact! ^u^

DIRK: Yeah. Prince of Heart, Destroyer of Souls. That was a rather enlightening talk. You can probably twist these nonsense names to mean whatever badass or stupid thing you want them to.

JAKE: Well you sure make it sound easier than it actually is! Why *page* and *hope* are already kind of a doozy on their own let alone twisting their meaning in a humorous or intriguing way.

ROXY: aw jakey im sure we can work w/ that

ROXY: specially given the uh page duds

ROXY: like ur the sexy robin of glowy bullshit

DIRK: Oh my god.

ROXY: a saucy and sparkly peter pan

JAKE: Hmm…

ROXY: THE HIMBO OF ASS fuckin got it B)

CALLIOPE: roxy please i’m trying to politely hold my laUghter, bUt yoU’re making it very difficult!

JAKE: Theres that word again! Jasprose has been calling me that but despite knowing my fair share of obscure slang

ROXY: (lmao)

JAKE: I havent been privy to this ones meaning yet!

ROXY: not so fun bein on the receivin end of weird-ass words huh jake

JAKE: So…

JAKE: What DO you mean im a himbo exactly?

DIRK: …

 Your name is Jade Harley, and to be honest, you don’t really care about the Day of Creation. But then again, you’re also privileged enough to BE one of the Creators. No, the Thirteenth of April is a much more private and personal day for you and your group of friends. The birthday of Jane Crocker, your ectobiological progenitor, but most importantly, at least in your eyes, the birthday of John Egbert.

God, you love your ecto-sibling so much.

Over a decade ago, back on your island, you fantasized about the things you would show to your friends once you entered the Game, the fated Session you’d seen in your dreams, night after night. John, out of all of them, was always the closest to you, asleep just a short trip over from your own tower, having awful nightmares. Haunted by that which was yet to come. You tried to help him wake up for years.

And then, when he finally did, your Dreamself was gone.

Barely any time to have fun, barely any fun to be had in the first place. And once the Scratch erased everything, and you brought the Session along with you, it felt as thought those dreams may become a reality, that you would, at long last, have one of your closest friends in the whole wide world there, able to hang out with you.

Well, you suppose at least one iteration of you DID enjoy a three year journey alongside John and Davesprite. You really wonder how different your trip would have been if you had your friends with you.

 JASPROSESPRITE^2: So what’s it gonna be, sweet buns?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Got a wish in mind already?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Better be careful what you think of, or it may become a reality right in front of your very eyes. ;3

JANE: Oh Jaspie, please…

JANE: We’re in the middle of a party, can’t you control yourself just a teensy tiny bit?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: You and I both know the answer to that question already, mrrow~.

 It’s okay though. You’ve put it all behind by now. You won the game, and John was back. All of your original friend group made it, crossed the threshold, and became the Gods of this new world. And it has been fun! It really has been so much fun, you’ve met so many different people, and you have discovered so many different things about yourself!

But not everyone is as eager and excited as you are.

You really don’t know what goes through his mind most of the time, but you know John is not doing so fresh. After going through so much, after thinking you would never see him again for three long years… Despite him being alive, it’s not like you have seen that much of him lately either way.

“not today”, “i’m feeling a bit off, sorry!”, excuses, all of them, but you want to respect his… You don’t even know, honestly. His privacy? His desire to mope around all day? Ugh. But you simply couldn’t handle him being holed up and alone in his Birthday of all days. It took a while to convince him, but you did it. And it has been…

 JOHN: …eally fun.

JADE: huh?

JOHN: i said this has been fun!

JOHN: i’m… sorry i haven’t been THERE too much lately, jade.

JOHN: but i’m glad i listened to you.

JOHN: it’s been waaaay too long since the last time i hung out with all of you guys.

JOHN: i…

JOHN: i missed this.

JOHN: thank you.

JADE: :’D

JADE: awww, cmere you adorable little sweetie!

 Your arm curls around his back, hand pressed to that messy mane of his, longer than you remember him having let it grow before. There’s an almost… Nostalgic longing in those bright blue eyes of his, and you can’t help but wonder if there isn’t something else he’s missing today.

…

Not like you can do much about it. The party is just getting started, and you intend to make the best of every second. Here, today. With your friends and family.

[thathonleygirl]

The Beginning

November 2019 – June 2020 Background

I decided to start this documentation of my journey into motorcycling for many reasons, mainly because I want to work on my writing skills and sometimes it’s nice to take a break from the mindless scrolling. I also think I’ll enjoy going back and reading this when I’m less of a rookie I’ll be recreating the timeline from the MSF course to the present from memory. I decided to dive into motorcycling as a hobby for myself, and also as a hobby for me to share with my boyfriend of 2+ years, Chris. Ultimately I can confidently say he inspired me to ride on my own and has been so supportive every step of the way.

November 2019 – MSF Class & getting my motorcycle endorsement I remember this weekend like it was yesterday. It was a freezing weekend and I’m out in the parking lot of RCCC bundled up from head to toe. I was happy it was cold because I was super nervous and excited, and heat stresses me out. There’s about 15 of us in the class, and right off the bat everyone is super friendly because we’re all here for the same thing – there was defiantly a wide range of skill levels and reasons for taking the class – but we’re all there for the same class. The two teachers of the class were AWESOME, and I’ll remember them for the rest of my riding career. They took us through the basics – controls, friction zone, etc. and soon we were riding through the first set of drills. My bike was a Kawasaki Eliminator from the 1800’s and it kept shutting off due to the cold weather. It also was impossible to find neutral, even the instructors couldn’t find it – I was just relieved that it wasn’t operator error. At the end of the 1st riding day they both told me they were impressed and proud of how I did – which meant so much to me considering I had never touched a clutch before, lol. The second day was a little rough, but still a success, mainly because I began to overthink every little thing because I knew there was going to be a test at the end of the day. This is when I first learned the importance of your headspace when on the bike, and how too much anxiety can be catastrophic. That being said, I still passed the class and got my endorsement the next week I really wish I had gotten the contact info for the people in the class, but the excitement of passing the class got the best of me.

March 2020 – Meeting Jolene I’d be lying if I said the process of bringing Jolene home was smooth, and the truth is I have a newfound hatred for dealerships and salespeople, LOL. But it was all well worth it. I went to Team Charlotte Motorsports with the intention of buying a Honda Rebel 500 in all black, but was disappointed when they didn’t have the right colors, and the bike just didn’t feel right when I first sat on one. But oh boy, when I first sat on Jolene I knew she was the one and I knew I had to have her. I’ve always been super laid back but when my mind is set on something, I get DETERMINED. After leaving the dealership because the price was too high, I began to obsess. After a week of negotiating and an extra fiery in-person negotiation, I finally got the price I wanted and Chris rode her home the next day. The whole process was rewarding in the sense of getting what I want and not backing down!

March-April 2020 – Attitude Adjustment I was off to a ROCKY start, and a few times I lost a lot of hope and had a lot of “WTF did I get myself into?!” moments in my first few loops around our neighborhood. My bike felt 100x heavier and harder to maneuver than my Eliminator, and my nerves were getting the best of me. I was scared to even let out the clutch at first. But after a few times stalling, I was doing loops in first gear around the neighborhood. On the third round of neighborhood loops, I was having a moment overthinking a left turn from a stop sign, and dropped the bike after it stalled and jerked in the middle of the turn. It was a devastating moment because my immediate reaction was that I just ruined my brand new bike in less than 100 miles, and the salt in the wound was the fact that I couldn’t pick the bike up. Luckily, a good Samaritan neighbor was close by with help, and the bike was totally fine (just wasn’t in neutral so it wouldn’t start). Not even a scratch, I’m a lucky girl. I spent some time feeling sorry for myself and hopeless but that was getting me nowhere. In that moment, I realized one theme in all my “practice” – I was scared of my bike, and was not taking control over her like I should be. I began to try and change my mindset, and just love the fuck out of her like she was my best friend. It’s crazy how much your mental state affects performance, especially on a motorcycle. As my attitude shifted, so did my confidence and success. After endless neighborhood loops and sideways stares from the neighbors, I finally made it out on the road (just down the street to the nearest park, but out of the neighborhood nevertheless! That was a game changing feeling for me. That is what it’s all about.

April 2020 – Real Deal At this point, im still having pretty intense nerves before every ride, but I have made it out of Edison Square (finally). The first ride ALL THE WAY out of the neighborhood was me following Chris who was driving his truck, leading me on what would become my trusty loop. We wanted to take some pictures for Instagram, which I’ve been trying to grow since I got Jolene. The biker community on social media is AWESOME, it’s incredible how many other riders around the world I’ve gotten to share experiences with and learn from, most importantly being able to “meet” other girl riders. Anyways, during that first mini trip following chris I finally made it into 5th gear and got into some twistys, I was smiling so hard in my helmet the whole time. I feel so close to my bike now and with every ride I feel more in tune, and less intimidated by her. I almost feel like she’s a horse or something, lol. We stopped to take some pictures in front of some office building which was empty because Covid – I felt so uncomfortable taking pictures but Chris was such a good sport in trying to get the best angles LOL. The whole Instagram thing has defiantly taken me out of my comfort zone – but so has riding as a whole – and I never want to go back. After this trip, I started going out on the same trip as much as I could, but still was having intense pre-ride jitters – but with every ride, I felt less anxiety and I could actually enjoy and have fun while still learning and practicing the basics. The post-ride bliss, however, was always an amazing feeling and I noticed that on the days I did get out to ride, I felt more at ease and generally better for the rest of the day. Meanwhile, we are still waiting on chris’s bike to be done getting worked on.

May 2020 – First Group Ride We finally got chris’ bike back after SUCH a long time. It’s crazy how much I worry when he’s riding his bike with me driving the car; but I don’t worry at all about myself when I’m riding lol. Side note – I’m such a lucky girl to have chris and he amazes me on a daily basis. I love how he set up the group ride, knew the route we were going to ride and also planned out how we would meet up with our two friends along the way. Before this ride, I finally just felt excited for the ride, and less nerves in the pit of my stomach. I found myself agonizing over which placement in the lineup I wanted to ride in, weighing out the pros and cons of each – I had to keep reminding myself that I don’t know shit, there’s no point in worrying, and just to trust chris (that option hasn’t let me down yet!) Side rant – im realizing as I ride more and more miles that most of my fears have been irrational. It starts with me conjuring up a situation that I feel would be dicey on a motorcycle, then I obsess over all the possible negative outcomes in those situations, and then I obsess over when I will come across them in my journey. So far – I have not been right a single time. For example – left turn at a yellow blinking light – I wanted to actually reroute my ride to avoid this, but when I was forced to do it, I rode through it with NO issues. It’s crazy what a whirlwind our minds can conjure up with little to no reason or backup to support our fears. Long story short, I need to get over myself and go with the flow, and take each learning experience as just that. Again, chris’s patience is remarkable. Back to the group ride – it was awesome. I was again, smiling so hard in my helmet as chris and I chatted through the turns, as he’s telling me how proud he is of me and just having all the good feelings along the way. So glad we went with the Cardo systems, I can’t imagine the ride without them. We rode over 100 miles through the country around Midland and hit a bunch of turns. I got to practice things I don’t necessarily enjoy, like stoplights, a LOT which was great. I still need to work on speeding up my starts especially turning starts. Getting home from the ride was a great feeling, it’s such a high – the post ride bliss. We got to head to the beach right after for a long weekend, which was much needed. We came home from the beach and chris surprised me with a longboard, which I had been talking a lot about wanting lately. Words just aren’t enough to describe how grateful I am to call him mine.

May 26th 2020 – 2nd Group Ride It’s been raining for the past two weeks, pretty much ever since we picked Chris’s bike up from the shop. Side note – Chris and I are doing a watermelon cleanse from Tuesday through Friday, and we were at the end of day 1 at this point. I didn’t realize how much of a toll the fast had taken on me until I started riding, I was overthinking every move I made and just felt unstable overall. Everything just felt harder, and it was such a reminder of how much your mental state affects your riding. Overall the ride was great and I’m so glad we got out and rode though, the country roads were beautiful and the temperature was just perfect at around 70. I guess I need to focus on the positives here – that the ride was beautiful, we didn’t get caught in the rain and I got to experience new roads. And of course got some great pics. I’ve officially become that girl who takes pictures in the parking lot for Instagram, but I really don’t care because it’s been fun building my social media presence.

May 31st 2020 – 300 milestone Well, I finally did it – I hit 300 miles on the bike, the halfway mark to my first 600 mile service, lol. Last night’s ride was absolutely perfect, I couldn’t have asked for better weather (mid 70’s, not humid at all) and feeling the crisp air as I was passing my previous top speed at 60+ mph was an unmatchable feeling. Every time I have a ride like this, I always think to myself, “This is what it’s all about.” My headspace was at a great spot and I felt confident and smooth throughout the ride. My starts were quicker and more fluent, my turns were smooth and I had less anxiety and anxious thoughts about shifting gears and going through the motions of riding in general. It’s crazy what a few days of healthy food and relaxing will do to your mind – this ride compared to the last entry was like night and day. We took the bikes to Mac’s Speed Shop for dinner – I was excited to ride my own bike there. Once we pulled up and Chris quickly whipped around to back his bike into his spot, I was reminded of my severe performance anxiety yet again, lol. I really need to get over the thought of people watching me and get over myself, people are going to watch what’s right in front of them, and a girl on a bike is sort of a rare occurrence. I feel like when people watch me, specifically men, they are just waiting for me to mess up because how could a girl like me be on her own bike? In reality, I’m sure they are barely even thinking about me at all, LOL. That brings me to something I really need to work on in general. I get really anxious when people watch me and I really need to make a conscious effort to work on getting over that. People are not worried about me – I know this – but rational thoughts get tossed out the window when I’m placed in front of a crowd. This trait of mine exists in every avenue of life – whether it is work, play, whatever; and I need to take time to grow out of this. I think it will help me have less social anxiety and will probably help my confidence which will have residual effects like an improved posture and overall sense of stability. I just wonder if this is a habit that can just naturally be broken with practice/repetition or is this something that requires more attention and effort to fix. Wow – such a rabbit hole, lol, but I doubt anyone will even read this. Back to the ride – I have absolutely loved the feeling of making it home from a successful ride, or “post – ride bliss.” Chilling on the couch with my honey after a perfect ride (for both of us) is my ideal Sunday evening. Chris’s longboard finally came in so we were able to skate over and get ice cream before we called it a night. I just love our life together and think that we truly have the perfect relationship that is a mixture of best friends and lovers that just keeps getting stronger and better with time. I am so happy. With our economy tanking due to a virus in our country that’s being burnt down all around us, he is my peace. To work on –faster upshifting –downshift through EACH gear when approaching a stop (stop banging down all the gears without releasing the clutch in between) –get over performance anxiety –work on maneuvering the bike when off (in and out of parking spots, getting gas, backing out of garage, etc) –ride the bike into the garage myself! I’m so blessed to have Chris to help, teach and support me on this journey. He reminds me I don’t need to be able to do everything immediately but still pushes me to learn and become a better biker when he knows I’m capable of doing something.

June 11 – Making Progress Two big milestones this week. The first is installing my mini floorboards, the second being my skills improving on the bike. Last night Chris and I rode to Gamestop to pick up a Tony Hawk game, and I was nervous for the ride beforehand given the newness of my floorboards along with the general nerves I get before a ride. The ride ended up being AWESOME. I made sure to pay attention and downshift completely through each gear when coming to a stop, and I was able to do it successfully most of the time, lol. Also had way faster starts, and beat Chris out of the stop lights a few times. The feeling of just riding with no traffic or light in sight is unmatchable, especially in 5th gear when it feels like nothing can hold Jolene back. During these stretches of the ride, my thoughts are always revolving around THIS being what it’s all about, THIS is riding, and this is freedom. It’s an unmatchable feeling. I also felt good when we pulled into eastfield for dinner because I was able to smoothly maneuver around the parking lot that was semi-full without issue. Also I didn’t need help when leaving the parking spot outside of gamestop. taking rides after work used to be kind of a fear of mine, and I was usually reluctant to take them in fear that I would be too braindead after a full workday. The ride last night, however, proved this fear wrong. I think no matter the time of day, day of the week, temperature, WHATEVER it may be, it’s all about your headspace and that is the greatest determinant for the outcome of the ride. I’m glad that I’m starting to feel less and less anxiety prepping for and starting out on each ride, the stomach aches and general feelings of fear are melting away with every mile in the seat. Soon I’ll be scheduling my 600 mile service To work on be more gentle when downshifting, especially to first. Stop stomping on the poor shifter ride the bike into the garage myself keep improving engine breaking/downshifting completely through each gear to 2nd or 1st

June 13 – Passing 500 on my first real trip So many milestones (literally) passed this weekend! 1 – passed the 500 mile mark & 2 – first 100+ mile trip! Minus one close-call, the whole trip/day was amazing with my love. We first headed out to Asheboro Harley Davidson dealership, stopping at a couple gas stations along the way. I passed my previous top speed and managed to hit 65+ mph, and I don’t know if that was Jolene’s limit or if it was user-error. Aside from the wind feeling like it was going to blow me off of the bike, it felt exhilarating to ride fast on the open highway. After we left the second gas station, I was following Chris (a little too closely) and the left turn we were supposed to take snuck up on us so I locked up my brakes and skidded (loudly) down the street, fishtailing straight down the street, missing the turn. Mid-way through the skid, the only thought running through my head was “fuck, we’re going down.” Somehow either my reflexes or my guardian angel, or a combination of the two, were looking out for me and Jolene stayed upright. Somehow I knew to kind of let go of the breaks and handlebars and let the bike do its thing, and sure enough I was able to straighten out and stay upright. It was a sobering experience for sure, and it took a little while to gain my confidence back for the rest of the ride. Chris is a patient angel though. We made it to the Asheboro Harley dealership to pick up our poker chips and chill for a little bit, and we were surprised to see it was crowded. It’s such a nice dealership though, they had a food truck serving Greek food, free beer on tap and the MSF course happening in the parking lot that we could watch while eating our lunch. Chris and I talked about how we always feel like outcasts from the “Harley crowd” but the people we talked to were nice. It started getting late so we headed out to the next stop, the Moonset general store near Uwharrie and Badin Lake. The rest of the ride was uneventful, and Chris and quickly became exhausted lol. I kept wondering to myself if I would always feel this tired from riding. It’s just such a mental thing that takes your full attention and effort at all times, and being hyper-aware of your surroundings at all times. There’s also the physical side of riding that involves every extremity in unison just to work the bike controls. I think that’s what makes coming home from a trip feel so rewarding. Once we made it home, we got burgers at Eastfield and called it a night after we both fell asleep on the couch lol. We took a short ride to pinky’s after detailing the bikes on Sunday and that was also a great ride. Short and sweet.

June 23 – Ready for 1st Service The more experience and riding I’ve gotten, the less I feel the need to write and blog which is a good thing more time spent actually riding. Passed the 600 mile mark and trying to schedule my service appointment this week after I install my new Vance and Hines pipes on Wednesday, so pumped for the new sound and look. I’m feeling so much more comfortable now riding, still have a few things I want to work on but when I think about the first few times I took Jolene out and compare that to how I feel riding now, it’s almost like I’m a whole new person. The things that used to scare me to death are things I can do without thinking twice now. I’m learning that the faster I go, the more comfortable I feel, and that the fears I used to have are pretty irrational. Over the weekend Chris, his mom and I went on a ride through the country before it got too hot outside. It made me happy to see how happy Chris’s mom was after the ride. We talked about how great of a teacher he is and how supportive he is every step of the way. The next day, Chris, his brother and I went on a ride to Statesville Harley and got lunch at Grouchos (Chris chose for me because I always talk about how ive always wanted to eat there, hehe). It was a great ride, minus almost running over a snake haha. One other biker that was at Grouchos joined in with us for part of the ride home, then another biker on the road joined in too. It was cool to hold up the middle, lol. Chris said I did a good job. The sense of community in the biker world is something amazing and it makes me so excited for the future, and how many cool people I will meet along the way.

[korkrunchcereal]

WoW Q & A

We’ve seen more choices/player agency this expansion. How important is it to the team that these player agency choices happen for both factions, and how important to have repercussions?

Can only happen if there are repercussions. Not worth it otherwise. Have to be careful with the amount done and what’s chosen. Do I want to back the banshee queen or Saurfang? Interesting choice. Testing the waters with this.

METZEN! - When is the Horde getting its true Warchief back?

May be a job oppportunity coming up for a new Warchief. If so, we’ll call you.

20% auction fee hurting players. Did you have other ideas for it, and when will it be removed if so?

Only applies to select stackable trade goods. It’s a bandaid, would require a fundamental rework of the auction system. Limit to amount of population is collapse of the AH. Working on it.

Will the items in WoW classic be put in as tmog for the live WoW? For unobtainable items.

Important to keep the ecosystems separate. Separate the two completely. Playing classic BECAUSE you want to play classic.

Update on Class Relics?

Miiiight have jumped the gun. Tried to infuse it into a few systems since that time. Difficult to actually put in. Actively working on it. Prob see in heritage armor / individual armor as opposed to wholesale solution.

Character progression, specifically leveling not rewarding. Wouldn’t it be better to implement a level squish? More rewarding feeling.

Not satisfied with what lvling has turned into. A level squish is a big ordeal, and some psychological concern. Agreed that something needs to change. It’s not attainable to keep upping level without adding reward behind it.

What steps to address toxicity in public chat channels?

Values: Everyone have a good time. Better to lose the negative person then the group they’re affecting. Listen to reports, not always good at telling you they are. Lot of behind of scenes work to investigate. Going to be instituting technology in other blizz games to handle such. Much more thoughtful and better, but active.

Why is there so much RNG in the game, and do you have plans to move away from the amount of RNG? 

A concern heard often. Completely deterministic. Had to get a drop, and grind certain emblems/badges in the past. Could mark on a calendar when you get pieces. No excitement or reward on the way. Not the world they want to do, but the flipside is nothing is predictable/certain. Been part of WoW. Putting in small fixes, but swung too far in pure randomness. Working towards a middle ground. 

Smart loot system on mythic caches?

Def. randomness feeling there. A fix for azerite system was on M+ system. Would be great to have streak breaking protection, not so much bad luck support. Example: You get boots, don’t get another pair.

Information on future of Azerite gear? How does team see azerite gear improving and evolving?

Tides of Vengeance gets improvements rolled out. Multiple choices in outer rings of azerite. 3x as many pieces of gear that has trait you want. Continue to add new traits, replacing lack luster ones. Continue to do that through BfA. Beyond ToV, looking at ways to improve system. More depth and choices in Heart of Azeroth similar to artifact weapons.

Are you going to pull more things off of GCD?

Looking at offensive CDs, example of monks having around 10 abilities off the GCD. Pulled way way back, took feedback and put things back off GCD. ToV, ignore pain off GCD. Pretty satisfied with offensive CD of it. Don’t think taking off GCD fixes issues of needing to press 3 buttons to deal dmg. Reduce the buttons / need to push that many. Movement is big focus. Taking Movement abilities off GCD in ToV.

Color wheel/dye?

Comes up frequently. Big answer: Not for everything existing. Tinting contradicts how blizzard paints its armor. Very similar to oil painting. Going back to do everything would have to change all colors to grey, then doing color shifting. BC tried tinting, “clown era”. System would have to be isolated; one armor system so they can hand craft each color.

 Took off niche abilities over time. If it resulted in homogenization of abilities, would you go back to MoP style?

Look at those abilities separately. Not averse to adding abilities where it makes sense. Mist and WoD abilities/talents were just used to shore up weaknesses. Would rather focus on strengths and give class identity. Feeling of “Man im glad we have an X” instead of “one of 6 specs to fill a hole.”

With CRZ and phasing off for classic WoW, how will you handle servers in classic with low pop realms / caps?

Not always seeing each other in the classic beta. Sharding at the moment, but demo is every char in the exact point in the world so without sharding would be broken. Some casual players, some hardcore. Concern is what will it do to realm communities, especially as realm populations fall over time? Using sharding in very limited ways. Understands its antithesis of classic, but necessary. First few weeks, plan to use limited sharding to beat initial launch problems. Further on, healthy population and single world.

Mechagon announced. Goblins and Gnomes; any development of background of Gallywix. How has being part of the larger horde affected him as a leader? Is he just a 2 dimensional money grubbing character? Any development of Gallywix and his attachment to his people?

3 dimensional money grubbing character. When pleasure palace can become pleasure palace, really experience goblins as they are meant to be; skyscrapers etc. Until then, we’ll look into it. 

If we’re getting Azshara, will we get the cannon?

We’re gonna fire that cannon.

Can tmog restrictions be lifted / more freedom?

Kind of a one way street at the moment. Loosening some restrictions, notably heritage armor. Heritage armor the example. Tides of Vengeance: Can tmog over fist weapons with 1 handed. Can’t fix wands, wands are weird. 

Differentiating between Sylvanas and Garrosh?

Stories not done. Much left to discover and explore. If I was Sylvanas and looking at Garrosh, i’d say Garrosh is an amateur. 

Set up as Horde vs. Alliance. Warfronts, Island expeditions. Why if we’re in either one, are PvP talents not activated?

Because you’re not fighting other players.

Announcement of BG’s with island AI. Will PvP talents activate then?

Not sure. Probably turn on talents because PvP brawl. AI is literal reconstruction of players; frost mage using actual player abilities. 

Do you encourage island expeditions to level?

yes. Buffed exp. Account bound unlock flight path item in Tides of Vengeance.

Will there be revamped M+ keystone leaderboard?

Sort of. Leaderboard still functions as a leaderboard. Challenge is only window of character progression. By Tides of Vengeance, add to the armory profile to see best times of week/season. 

Low performing specs get bad reputation that persists long after buff. Anything to buff shamans, spriests and ferals?

Yes. If you keep getting turned down, you don’t have fun and you’re justified in blaming blizzard. Have to overbuff sometimes to get them better attention. 

Any plans/considerations to bring back tier sets/gear related to give definition of class identity?

Trying something different in BfA. Gives a chance to get a set of gear that feels like that raid; naga raid give naga aesthetic gear. Class themed armor sets prob come back in the future. For now, cool to see varying designs. 

Classic: Staying on patch forever, or eventually get its expansions?

Right now, focus on restoring classic WoW. Once it’s out next summer, go from there. 

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi Meat, page 4 reaction

So, is John going to zap to the next plot point now, or will it switch back to Earth C?

I wonder, if it's the latter, whether we might see something from an antagonist, or a less important character, like Jack Noir or GCATavrosprite. And if the former, I wonder if John will venture further into (a retconned version of) the Game Over timeline, or not?

---

"You arrive in the Land of Heat and Clockwork in a flash of white." OOOoooh, LOHAC! Will he visit Dave - well, presumably yes. But will he revisit the moment he zapped back to, when he came to ask for help regarding his retcon powers?

... I kind of like Blaperile's idea better, that he revisits the point in time he disrupted before, the conversation between Dave & Jade, but which he afterwards retconned again, sending himself to go find Roxy? ... Wait, it was never really explained where that John that bapped himself on the head came from, I swear, if this is (out-of-comic) retconned as having been this 23-year-old John... Okay, I might have forgotten if Rx John had already gone back. ... Okay yeah, it already happened. Page 8333 vs 9047 of Homestuck. Anyway...

Hmm, GO Dave never used the eggsword much in the end (Caledfwlch), as he went after Jade's body and tied to a critical devilbeast combo. But I don't think John'll take it?

"Through the condensation you can make out the shapes of Dave and Jade below, as well as two more of you hovering in the air above. Both Johns turn to look at you." PFfffffff, of course he draws his other selves attention. Why would it resolve so cleanly as they zapping away in the background. Dave had a fit before when he saw one, but now, if he'll acknowledge all three...

"On the ground, Dave is talking in a particular cadence, one that is familiar to you, his longtime best buddy. Casual, wandering, verging on droning. It’s a good indication he’ll be monologuing for a while, and probably already has been." Yeah, GO Dave was summing up all the reasons he didn't particularly want to do anything about LE. Retconned Dave just thought he should fulfill the prophecy to get it over with, but that's about the end of his commitment in the matter too. Only Davepetasprite^2 really felt like going up against LE. Will Caledfwlch make it into their hands?

"DAVE: thats what...DAVE: you do...DAVE: with..." Awesome, he even gets trailed off at exactly the same moment in his monologue. :D

"DAVE: karate. john what the fuck are you doing hereDAVE: or... waitDAVE: actually three johnsDAVE: hey three johns what the fuck are three johns doing here" Dave is so whatever about this, it's hilarious. Then again, he's been all around LOHACSE thrice in a single day, he's got some experience in the matter of walking around alt time selves.

Also, I wonder if Dave (and Jade) will notice he's an older version of John. If not, his god tier powers probably keep him youthful, like Superman.

"It’s a fair question, which logically should have been directed to the oldest and most knowledgeable John. Nevertheless, one of the younger Johns replies first." Pfff, the second oldest one then? The one that came back here with a semblance of purpose, not randomly zapping through canon? Plus, if Dave wouldn't notice a difference between the Johns, neither would the younger ones.

"(JOHN 1): er.(JOHN 1): i don’t know." Ooooh! Cool, not just are they parenthesed, the Johns are now also numbered! Yeah, we wouldn't want them to just all be named John, that'd be insane and probably what Jade went through with PCG & FCG from her end (aka two ?CG's).

"JOHN 3: john, don’t worry about it. i’ll take things from here.DAVE: johns dont get me wrong its cool that you all randomly dropped by again but this wasnt really the best time" Hah, yeah John, try and get that semblance of knowing what you're doing back, like you acted out on LOPAN against your past selves. I'm actually interested to see whether he will be as dismissive towards his other selves as back then. Right, this is the second time Dave saw John, after the time he dropped in when Dave was looking at his old photographs.

"DAVE: we were kind of in the middle of a thing here(JOHN 1): whoops. sorry.(JOHN 2): uh... actually, i only came here to swoop in and zap this john away without being seen, to retcon away the mess i made earlier.(JOHN 2): i didn’t expect to see another john here.

JOHN 3: hey, other john, i said i’ll handle it!

JOHN 3: i’m the only one who actually knows what’s going on here.DAVE: god damn it johns what the fuck did you do" John 1 fucked it up, John 2 would've fixed things but then John 3 came back and fucked up some more. It's like the goddamned Primer movie all over again.

"JOHN 3: young dave, please.

JOHN 3: let me deal with the johns first, then i’ll explain.DAVE: young dave???" Why did that make me think of WV's polite commands. "Sir John" and all that. :P I think the other Johns will be able to get resolved easily enough, one zapping the other away to bop him in the head, both confused over the mess they left behind.

"DAVE: ohDAVE: yeah why are you a fucking adult now" OOOOOOh, nice! Okay, even though it'll be all shades of awkward, I really like the age difference isn't getting skimmed over.

"DAVE: did you grow up and start time traveling dude" Take that, reverse it.

"JADE: will someone tell me what the fuck is happening???????" Oh right, Grimbark Jade's text colour thingy!

"JOHN 3: johns, there’s no reason for you to hang around anymore.

JOHN 3: not to sound like a wet blanket, but the things you’re trying to accomplish are now useless, so you can just zap away and do whatever you want.(JOHN 1): ummm...(JOHN 2): useless?? wait." Harsh much, John. Also, just cause they won't/aren't you, they can just go become you, or whatever how you want to put it.

"JOHN 3: ok, maybe i shouldn’t have said that.

JOHN 3: i’m sure you can still go and do what i did when i originally did what you’re currently trying to do...DAVE: jesus john" Dave's inner time logistician is crying. John's retcon powers are so OP, he doesn't have to take any care in keeping time loops going if he doesn't want to. But that'd just result in copies of him flying around, so he'd best to just send them on their way, hopefully never to run into them again.

"

JOHN 3: in fact, it will still probably be a very rewarding experience!

JOHN 3: some of my best memories happened right after you do what you’re about to do next." I was thinking of the meet-up with his friends in general, but yeah, it's probably mostly about meeting Roxy, which is the closest thing to happen to (John 1)'s point in time.

"JOHN 3: the point is, you should just go do it, so that you aren’t here anymore." Savage.

"JOHN 3: i’m here to make sure some new and different important things happen, and those things don’t include you.

JADE: :|(JOHN 1): oh...(JOHN 2): ...ok.

The useless Johns zap away. You sincerely hope that they have a beautiful and fulfilling youth." ... That's not what your mouth ended up conveying there, John. Nor your thoughts, I mean, "useless", dear god man, have some alt self respect. :P

"DAVE: adult john what the fuck have you doneDAVE: is this some time travel shitDAVE: please dont tell me youve been spending the next however many years bungling through time like this because tbh if what i just witnessed was even remotely indicative of shit you get up to on a recurring basis then your future is almost too embarrassing to even think aboutDAVE: and this is coming from a teenager who was just in the middle of an angsty episode" Self aware Dave tirades are still the best. :D

"JOHN: i used my retcon abilities to travel here from the future, in a manner of speaking.DAVE: sounds fuckin stupidJOHN: it is stupid. but that’s just how things are." Glad they can agree to agree on that very valid assessment. :P

"JADE: im a little confused

JADE: im supposed to be hunting you down and capturing you... but im not sure if the adult version of you counts?

JADE: i think the condesce might just be... confused if i brought her an adult john?" Oooh, is this conflicting with her "programming" some how? Doggy Jade is confused, that's actually intruiging that she's given pause.

"JOHN: no, you don’t need to capture me, and you wouldn’t be able to even if you wanted to, since my existence literally transcends the confines of canon.

JADE: well...

JADE: i guess that simplifies things then?" John bullshitting his way to victory over people smarter than him, it remains a sight to behold.

"

JADE: in that case, would you mind giving me and dave a few minutes to wrap up our conversation?" XD Lol, wut????? Hahahah, Paradox Space really can only handle so much derailment to a timeline. At some point it just throws up it's arms and goes "leave me be, for five minutes, I was busy here!"

"JADE: we were sort of in the middle of something important... i thinkJOHN: no, you really weren’t.JOHN: sorry to be the bearer of lame news, like i just was to the other johns.JOHN: but whatever you were doing doesn’t matter anymore.JOHN: nothing that’s happening here matters at all.JOHN: this session, this whole takeover by the condesce... this isn’t how a universe gets made.

JADE: its not?JOHN: no." Sorry to break it to ya, but you're in a doomed timeline.

"DAVE: so what nowDAVE: if its all a done deal like preemptively speakingDAVE: can we all just relax or whatJOHN: actually...JOHN: no." Okay... So, what, can he just recruit these guys off and zap off with them to the next plot point? Won't something have to be done about the grimbarkness first? Also, if the next plot point is in the same timeline... Game Over really gets derailed. No Jade, no swapping Derse for LOFAF.

"DAVE: fuckJOHN: ah! i just realized why she sent me to this point in time to start recruiting you all.DAVE: whatDAVE: who" Rose, but not your Rose, although perhaps with the memories of that Rose, so kinda your Rose. :P Okay, so it's not that Rose's letter gave more detailed instructions than to zap there & recruit. So John'll have to figure out what to bring besides the people, in some cases at least. Like, here that would be Caledfwlch.

"JOHN: this is the moment just after you made your legendary cue ball sword.JOHN: you’re going to need it.DAVE: for whatJOHN: to come fight lord english with me.

Dave’s eyebrows descend beneath his sunglasses. You feel pretty bad because you’re about to completely circumvent the life-changing epiphany he’s just had that you know for a fact will make him a happier, chiller, and altogether more well-balanced human being." :/ Yeah, Dave really was happier cheating his way out of the prophecy. But then, he could only become so happy if someone else took care of the REAL Lord English for him. Guess another Dave'll have to bite the dust for "alpha" Dave again. Then again, epiphany or not, GO Dave might have ended up happy... but then he'd have been a happy ghost, for just as long until LE or the black hole got to him.

Still, man, I'm feeling for the guy. It's one thing to reject the call when it's an abstract prophecy or artefact thrust on you. But now it's his best friend asking him to join him in a crazy last stand. That's... actually one of the toughest challenges any Dave has had.

"DAVE: oh shit" ... Best underwhelming response he could have. :D

"JADE: what??

JADE: john. he is NOT going to fight lord english just yet

JADE: he is staying right here

JADE: old ladys orders :PJOHN: actually, yes he is." I'm sensing a showdown coming, but I wonder how swift John will take care of her, can his mangrist trump First Guardian swiftness? Oh, yeah, and he could turn into the Breeze too, I recall. Yeah, Jade's gonna bite the dust.

"JOHN: and so are you. we all are." Oooooh, okay, he wants everyone from the GO timeline to take a swing. Cool that he's getting his gang back together. Still, the age difference! :P Everyone but Roxy might be a little wary of it. (I'm saying that because at one point Roxy crushed on Jane's Dad.

"JADE: omg

JADE: how dare you?????JOHN: jade, you’re brainwashed.JOHN: sorry. but nothing you’re saying now means anything." Like, I understand where he's coming from, but dang John, still so brutal.

"JOHN: it’s fine though, you’ll stop being brainwashed once i zap you outside the influence of the condesce." Oooh, round trips to blankspace it is? I don't think it'll be to LOWAS, just to "a" point in blankspace they can be "stored" until the gang is assembled.

"JADE: youre not zapping me anywhere!!!!!JOHN: ha ha, yes i am.JOHN: watch this...

> Zap Grimbark Jade outta there." Has he learned to do a snap to zap her away while staying behind himself? Like how Jade zapped everyone to LOMAX.

It would be anticlimactic for John's retcon powers to suddenly cease working here. It would also be very Hussie for that to happen spontaneously. :P But then again, not likely as he'll use the same power to go to LOCAM (Caliborn's planet).

"You set a hand on Jade’s shoulder and zap her off to a better place. Then you touch down on the concrete surface where the whole pointless confrontation was taking place so that you can talk Dave around whatever it is he’s going through right now. Dave, like his ecto-sister, really needs to get in an absurd amount of extraneous words before he can fully process a situation.

The Mayor tips his head at you and fiddles with his sash. God damn, you missed the Mayor." Ah, okay, that particular conversation we might not see in its entirety? Or maybe we will. In any case, right, WV was there! Aww, yes we missed him. But hey, seems like John at least took a little time before they travelled into the future, to get to know WV? I wonder if he ever found out he was his exile, probably not.

"DAVE: so what do we do nextJOHN: well, i’ll leave you to hang out with jade for a bit, while i go round up the others." Hey, it occurred to me, Dave & Jade could have a chat while they wait, work some things out. A similar conversation as that GO Dave & Jade presumably had right after their deaths, when they woke up next to each other in the dreambubbles!

"DAVE: what others... likeDAVE: everyoneJOHN: yes. rose, and the other four." Yeah, this is speeding things up rapidly as far as the meetup between the kids is concerned. Dave & Dirk might benefit from some alone time out in blankspace together, mirroring their LOTAK conversation. Also, this means John will be zapping into the outer reaches of the session to retrieve Dirk, hahah. ... I wonder if the glitches from the stardust will be causing any disturbance, probably not anymore since the stardust was blown out of the cartridge, admittedly at a "later" point in the timeline.

Blaperile has a good point, what about Roxy? I'm going to assume that, by the time gets around to breaking her out of jail, John 1 or an equivalent John has already visited her. But I don't remember if they talked about the ring already back then. I do still think John will be giving her the ring to go revive Calliope, but the exact feelings around the moment will remain to be seen.

"DAVE: i seeDAVE: so...DAVE: sorry if i seem a little slow here im just trying to figure this outDAVE: youre telling me that i made this sword because im destined to defeat lord english and weve all been training for that day our whole lives to some extent more or lessDAVE: and we are actually successful here like we overthrow the condesce and make a universe and everythingDAVE: and thenDAVE: we..." ... Yeah, this timeline won't spawn a universe, it's already been done, it exists, no point in repeating the whole process. This session is now void again. Dave tries to build a timeline in his head that makes sense, but the sad thing is, his future is uncertain. Though, he might not be sad at all? I mean, not if the future is his to be written, right?

"DAVE: sit on our asses for several years in the new universe and become adults and lead mostly boring lives instead of going off to fight him?" ... Or, does Dave really DO understand what has happened, that he's picking up left over plot behind some other version of him.

"JOHN: yes.DAVE: guess that makes senseDAVE: now that i think about it thats probably what i would want to do by the time we finally wrap up this whole hot messJOHN: yep, it is what you wanted to do.JOHN: and pretty much everyone else agreed, including me. so that’s what we did." Not sure how conscious the decision was for them at the time, but sure.

"DAVE: which uhDAVE: i guess begs the questionDAVE: if it seemed pointless at the time and nobody could be assed to go fight him when we all had our shit togetherDAVE: why does it suddenly become important to go back and beat him years later after we become a bunch of lazy adults with boring lives" You'd have to ask Rose but she wouldn't remember in this timeline so the point is kind of mute. :P

"JOHN: i pretty much had the same questions, dave.JOHN: there are probably some pretty good answers to that. definitely some complicated answers.JOHN: but to be honest... i kind of forget what they actually were?DAVE: god damn it john" Pfffffff. John "it seemed important at the time so here i am" Egbert, everyone.

"JOHN: it has something to do with canon unraveling, and such.JOHN: we all live outside canon in the future, and if we don’t do go do this, everything will stop meaning anything.DAVE: does...DAVE: anything you just said actually mean anything in the first place" There's a song that comes to mind from Volume 9, "Everything means Something to Somebody". To Dave, it must be sound like the same level of fortune cookie wisdom.

"JOHN: that’s a great question, dave.JOHN: one that i can’t say i’m qualified to answer!JOHN: i think the bottom line here is, this is what rose said we had to do.JOHN: so, that’s why we’re doing it.DAVE: sounds like a bullshit reason if i ever heard oneJOHN: you might be right.JOHN: but is it less of a bullshit reason than any other reason we currently have to go fight him?DAVE: ...DAVE: damnDAVE: youre rightDAVE: i dont know how you did it but you somehow instantly sold me completelyDAVE: fuck you adult egbert" At some point, the scales will buckle just from the shear heap of bullshit piled on.

"You zap Dave off to where he needs to go. The Mayor is still staring at you, blinking his buggy little eyes. You shoot him a warm smile and a thumbs-up before bouncing off into the ether of infinity." Awww, actually, leaving WV behind can't be all bad for him. He can find Serenity in here, PM too. Condesce might very well leave for the Furthest Ring, and then this session is up for sale to anyone. And with the royalty down for the count, WV can take over. Well, okay, WQ... probably blew up when Union Jack broke Prospit. Yeah, WV, PM & the still alive Derse agents are the top bill around, and if PM can trump Jack again (the three of him, Spades Slick & Union Jack included), then the remaining Derse agents would follow.

That marks the end of Meat, page 4 for us!

[linkspooky]

Do you think Touka really would ever like Furuta. The reason she likes Kaneki was his compassion and thats something Furuta doesnt really have or at least never shows except maybe the one time to UI. I still dont really ever see it happening but im glad you have fun with it.

Yep, Furuta has never ever done anything compassionate in his life. 

Touka doesn’t just like Kaneki for his compassion, Touka likes Kaneki because they have a lot in common. They’re both afraid of losing people deep down and all of their actions are based around that fear. 

Do you know who also has a lot in common with Touka? Furuta. I can’t imagine that Touka would know what it feels like to continually wait for somebody that you loved for years on end, while it seems like they’ve moved on and forgotten about you. 

Touka’s lived her entire life staring on in envy of the human world which she would never be a part of because she was born a ghoul. She thinks she was born to die early just because of the fact she was born to be a ghoul. 

Hmmm, it reminds me of someone else. 

So Furuta and Touka not only have similiar shared experiences, that they were both born and told they were going to die early for what they were born as, and they also both had one person who they loved and gave their life some kind of meaning only for that person to disappear and seemingly forget about them. Not only that but both of them had to try to integrate into the society of humans anyway, and hide what they were the entire time while being aware that as much as they tried to conform they could never truly be a part of it.

However, where Touka waited for Kaneki for three years in an environment that was relatively healthy, a cafe she could manage on her own, a reliable source of food, an uncle who was supportive of her, and a good friend in Nishiki Furuta spent his years waiting in a literal hell garden where he was forced from childhood to kill over and over again and be a soldier for the Washuu’s needs to which he was ocnsidered completely expendable by his own family members and by the end of it his only reward would be an early death at 1/4 of a human lifepsan. 

So, Touka’s good deed of waiting remained healthy while Furuta’s became corrupted over time. That’s interesting, that’s the point of conflict in their relationship. Touka tries to be selfless despite all of these things and looking at the human world in envy and never being allowed a place in it, and Furuta is full of resentment.

What Touka desires is an equal partnership. However, Kaneki lacking in self awareness basically leaves Touka behind all the time on accident. She also wants to heal her partner. 

So, it’s an interesting contrast between Kaneki who hurts Touka on accident because he’s completely lacking in self awareness, and who Touka constantly has to walk on egg shells around and avoid talking about things that are important to her because she’s terrified too much stress is going to drive Kaneki off again.

And Furuta who is not only very self aware but also very communicative. It’s partially because Furuta is so caustic that Touka would probably be much more direct and blunt in dealing with him. I’m not saying one relationship is better than the other, but because of the way the characteres foil it’d be interesting to see the contrast.

He needs someone with a strong personality but strong in the sense of they know who they are and what they want. He needs someone who won’t play along with his little games but also someone to support him. I mean Touka has been shown to be a deeply caring person. What Furuta fears the most is something genuine because he’s convinced people don’t care, that’s why the relationship is interesting, that’s why their’s conflict on both sides. Touka would see Furuta’s resentment as a version of herself that took the wrong path in life, and Furuta would see Touka’s genuine love and response to the world as terrifying and Touka’s love in him as a person as terrifying because he doesn’t want to be a person, he doesn’t want to be a people so badly. 

[irlnoladarling]

1.

My therapist is suggesting that i create a dialogue-like pain journaling format that may or may not be read by others. If anything, an open discussion with myself as if I was talking with a close friend who had four hours to listen to me spill my heart out over what’s been weighing on it the heaviest. So i think it’s high time I talk about the breakup. From the top.

I was in a relationship for almost four years with one of the most beautiful people i’ve ever known. Everything was so amazing in the first two years. 

then we broke up because he needed to rediscover himself. he was heavily using drugs and could not deal with the shame of having to face me about himself, his demons, and who he was.

He wrote an open letter when his head finally cleared that i went back and reread on his tumblr tonight. And to this day every single word still resonates loudly. In a nutshell, it went something like:

“I have found peace with myself. I am finally in love with myself. I know you don’t want to understand and you don’t have to want to understand. I am not the same man you fell in love with. I hope you find peace from the ways I’ve shook you. Thank you for everything”

Every word sounded so similar to the words of the new letter he wrote me. But this time it was different. Inferring both his meaning and my own, it went something like:

“I haven’t been a good partner to you. I am rapidly going through changes that you can’t have access to. I haven’t been making you a priority and we have been behaving more as friends than lovers. It’s been this way for a while. I still love you and hope that we can be friends one day. Thank you for everything.”

I don’t mean to make it sound so short, because it was more thought-out and detailed than that. I had my own shortcomings in this, one of which was my other very catastrophic relationship with another person that caused a huge strain to various breaking points with my ex.

Everything about this breakup is so painful. So unbearably heartwrenching that it’s been one of my main focal points of my depression. In my own effort to make sense of everything, I have been replaying these letters over and over in my head, rereading. I have had nothing but nightmares about him and dreams of him magically coming back and us starting from scratch again. At this stage of my pain, I would probably do any little thing to get back to the way we were - to be happy with him again. 

I am realizing that I am not only carrying the heartache of this breakup, but the heartache of the breakup with my other ex, as well as the first breakup with this ex. I haven’t fully processed the last two, so I am holding three heartaches in one. It’s like continuously being buried under a foot of dirt, so here I am; three feet deep.

In order to truly let go, I need to understand myself in this situation. So, because I want to be free and start digging myself out, I have to examine my attachments. 

1. He was my first love in a while. Everything about him was so breathtaking that I don’t think I experienced that hard of a head-over-heels type of affection in a long time. We were both so young. He was still in sr year of high school and I was heading into college. We had time to fawn over each other every hour of every day. When he was in his deepest pain, I was there to comfort him. We were alike in so many ways, even in appearance. I wanted it to last forever, and I convinced myself that it would. The day that I met him in person - well, I still don’t think I’ll ever experience that type of magic again in my life.

2. He helped me in my lowest moments. He gave me the comfort and strength that I needed and reminded me of who I was. Reminded me of why I was worthy of love by such a unique person.

3. He was my anchor. He was the only constant in my life. Everyone else came and went but I could rely on him to be there for me, consistently. If I messaged him, I knew he would answer, and he would soothe everything and make it alright. If I needed a fallback, it was him.

4. The pact we made. if we eventually decided to be monogamous, then we agreed it would be with each other. We had unknowingly made each other our primary partners, after years of swearing that we did not practice polyamory in that way. It felt good to be loved so much, so hard. We had plans for a family, a home together. He had the means of support - I wanted to get out of my hometown. It was a perfect situation.

5. We were best friends. And I felt like that would outshine everything. I am still to this day wondering if I decided not to be friends with him because i felt as though he knew he had outgrown me, or he truly would never become the friend I was looking for.

6. He gave me a family. His mother and father adored me, and always supported me. One christmas they gave me 200 dollars towards my rent month. They worried about me, provided me a home to stay in. In many ways, I felt like I fucked up in gaining and maintaining a second, almost better family.

There are more reasons, but for now, these are the heaviest. And because of these reasons, I prioritized him over anything, everyone - even the people I forged other relationships with. He was paramount over any other bond I made. And he did the exact same thing in many situations. When he reached back out to me after our first breakup, I was so flattered at the fact that he told the person he was seeing at the time - “i don’t care about how you feel because t and I are getting back together, and I’m meeting her for the first time in a couple weeks.”

To admit that to myself, finally, is huge. Everyone else could leave - as long as he stayed. And he would validate me and I would feel like I had been rewarded because I had done great. And he felt the same.

At that point I thought we were inseparable. We always told each other that “out of all the people in my life journey, I’m glad it’s you. I wouldn’t have it any other way. You are the one constant.” And at the time, it filled my heart with so much happiness. To be a constant in someone’s life. To dedicate my life to being a constant. What a concept. This heightened prioritization, through trips, skype dates. It was all I could have ever wanted from him. 

A major battle that has upended my entire identity from this ordeal is the fact that I keep trying to see it from his eyes. And in his eyes, I wasn’t keeping up with him - couldn’t keep up with him. I was still stuck in 2015 while he was constantly advancing. He dropped me because I was dead weight, and I was hindering his growth. And whether that is or isn’t true, that has been haunting me for months.

It’s the core of the reason why i feel like I haven’t been growing. He had been advancing so much, taking on all these deals, meeting with people to further the cause of things that were important to him, doing HUGE things, and I wasn’t doing much more than supporting him. I’m not doing any of that. I feel like im not doing anything to further my own growth.

I am taking time off from school. I have no more passion, no more vision. I am comfortable. I haven’t stepped out of my comfort zone in months.

And in the process (facebook isn’t helping) I keep wondering, would it be different if I would have stayed in school? Been more present in activism? Maintained my weight? Discontinued my toxic relationship at the first sign of a red flag? Would you have still wanted me if I had done any of this?

I look back on myself and try and dredge up the parts of me that I felt like he fell in love with. I don’t even remember that version of myself. Was I thinner? More ambitious? Did I care more about the things he cared about?

And if in his eyes I wasn’t growing like he was, am I even growing at all?

At the same time, it felt like everything he was doing was more important than me. At some point, he didn’t want to grow with me anymore, or have me by his side. And that not only makes me angry, but is a big part of my heartbreak. And I am still trying to figure out if it’s me that was is the biggest contribution to that thought, or him. Or some combination of both.

I’ve reached the end of this and I actually feel better now. It took me a couple hours, but I feel really cathartic, so I think i’ll end it here. It’s the first bit of relief since the whole ordeal happened, and I actually feel lighter, so I think i’m getting somewhere.

I’ll try and write more later.

[booksandtea]

Author Interview | Rhiannon Frater For the month of October I’m hosting Spooks and Tea where we aim to consume as much horror, or spooky, books as possible.

I also wanted to do something a little different and fun this year so I reached out to a few authors to see if any would be interested in taking part, most of them agreed to do a Q&A with the Book Club! I have never felt more blessed.

If you’re a member of Books and Tea you’ll have been given the chance to ask these authors questions, as well as getting to see their answers early.

It is now time for me to share the second one which is the amazing Rhiannon Frater! I was introduced to her work in my early blogging years and I think she’s a staple to the horror world tbh, and I love the fact she’ll sell personalised signed copies of her work on her etsy which makes us international bookworms very happy! Keep reading to see what we asked her.

Rhiannon Frater

Rhiannon Frater is the award-winning author of the As the World Dies zombie trilogy (Tor) as well as independent works such as The Last Bastion of the Living (declared the #1 Zombie Release of 2012 by Explorations Fantasy Blog and the #1 Zombie Novel of the Decade by B&N Book Blog).

She was born and raised in Texas where she currently resides with her husband and furry children (a.k.a pets).

She loves scary movies, sci-fi and horror shows, playing video games, cooking, dyeing her hair weird colors, and shopping for Betsey Johnson purses and shoes.

Find her at: Instagram | Twitter | GoodReads | Website | Pinterest

What are your hopes for Z Nation season 5? (I picked this series back up thanks to you and I screamed about it so much a few of my friends did too!) I’m thrilled you started watching because of me! SHARE THE ZOMBIE LOVE!

To answer your question, I would love to see the return of all our missing favs: Sun Mei, Red, 5k, and Addy. It looks like I’m getting my wish! Of course, Karl Schaeffer, the showrunner, has to evilly tease us by saying (paraphrasing) “They’re back, but how long until they die!” He loves his hashtag #donttrustznation.

I would also LOVE it if the show was able to book Steven Yuen or Chandler Riggs. The showrunners promised the actors they won’t kill them if they guest star.

Which character from Z Nation would you most want to be watching your back in a Zombie Apocalypse? Roberta Warren. She’s an amazing leader and I would follow her to the ends of the earth.

In a typical horror movie setting, how long do you see yourself surviving? I’m not certain what typical is anymore. If it’s World War Z, I’m toast instantly. I do know how to shoot and I drive like a stunt driver (so I’m told), so I could probably last a reasonable amount of time against a regular monster if I have a gun and fast car. If I don’t have those things, I’m probably dead meat.

What horror monsters could you see yourself beating a fight? Traditional vampires. I know better than to invite them into my house. I win automatically.

Which horror monsters do you fear the most? Slasher monsters like Jason and Freddie. I don’t watch slashers at all.

If you could write a horror book with any author, living or dead, who would you pick and why? Jane Austen. It would be so subversive and fun.

What media influenced you the most? (i.e movies, tv shows, books) I love books. I always have. But when it comes to my love of horror, definitely films. I follow in my grandfather’s love of the horror film genre.

What video games do you find yourself returning ot the most, and what aspect do you find most important? (For me its definitely character customisation, but also the ability to reload should I make the wrong decision) I play Guild Wars 2 religiously. Every damn day. I love it so much. The setting is just so imaginative and fun. Plus, I love the “fashion wars” aspect of the game, too. I’m a big fan of Fallout New Vegas and Mass Effect, too. I enjoy games that allow me to play women who kick ass.

What was your first main struggle on becoming a writer? The main struggle was figuring out how to get published. In 2008, my husband approached me with the idea of self-publishing. We self-published As The World Dies and it was later picked up by Tor. It was very rewarding to take things into my own hands and have the end result be a traditional publishing contract with a genre powerhouse like Tor.

You’re currently writing two serials on two different platforms (Patreon and Radish), what has your experience been like with these? It’s fun, but can be mentally exhausting when I have to keep switching back and forth between very different stories. I’ve grown as a writer by doing the serials, so I’m glad I’m doing them.

Can you tell new readers a bit more about your serials? The serial on Patreon was revised and published as The Unblessed Dead and The Accused Dead. It’s now a new post-apocalyptic book series. It’s origin was actually a short story called The Necromancer (you can read it here for free) originally published in Zombie Tales From Dead Worlds.

The Radish serial, The Impaled Bride, is a sequel/prequel to The Vampire Bride Dark Rebirth trilogy. By the time I’m done, it will be a whole new trilogy that I will most likely self-publish.

If you could be in any of your characters shoes, which would it by any why? That’s tough because all my characters are in really difficult situations and dealing with stuff I definitely don’t want to deal with. I think I’ll have to take a pass on this question!

Why Zombies, Vampires, and Necromancers of all creatures? What makes them so unique and compelling that you write about them? Well, zombies always make a great background for a post-apocalyptic tale. Their constant threat and the dread that comes with it really adds to any tale of survival. I have always loved vampires thanks to Bela Lugosi and Hammer Films. Necromancers are intriguing because they bridge the gap between the living and dead. They add a new dynamic to any story because of their abilities. I love all monsters, of course. I just haven’t written about all of them yet.

Oh and lastly this is more just for me than anything, I think you’re still blonde with a bit of very light pink? How difficult has it been for you to not return to a more intense bright colour? Im currently in the same position but a bit of very light blue and I feel like I lost a bit of me in this change. I’ve wanted to do rose gold for a while. It’s a very hard color to maintain. I’m trying to figure out how to make it work at least for a few more months before I switch it out again. The platinum blonde look before the rose gold has been tough to keep up, too, but it’s been fun to experiment.

I hope you enjoyed reading this, I had so much fun talking to Rhiannon and I’m super excited to dive back into Z Nation and seeing her tweets about it weekly! I have her As She Dies trilogy on my TBR for this month so *fingers crossed* I have time for that with all the travelling I have coming up.

Thank you so much for reading this! What did you think about Rhiannon’s answers?

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Spooky Q+A: @RhiannonFrater #blogoween #BooksandTeaBC Author Interview | Rhiannon Frater For the month of October I'm hosting Spooks and Tea where we aim to consume as much horror, or spooky, books as possible.

[datingdonovan]

Okay but I love that. I read everything for character development exclusively and that entire concept seems like it has character development basically as a given. That whole age range is such a formative time so whenever books center around that age I just sit there vibrating. But omg that’s so cool that you got to write a screenplay. Like??? Please elaborate what???

As far as law goes, I’m not totally sure, but I’ve been thinking about real estate law or family law 🤷‍♀️ -the Gemini™️

yeah omg exactly that sort of coming of agey running away etc can be like, extremely cookie cutter and bland in its pieces but the entire fun of it is just playing with who the characters are and how the situations come across, like the way in which the characters interact with the world and the way the writers choose to style and shape it ugh I love it so much and I LOVE the characters and watching what they do and im probably extremely biased bc lots of my fave characters in those kinda stories exhibit my symptoms or mirror situations in my life so :) hahahahaha Ive very often found them so relatable and interesting and real! and thought that its so refreshing to see them be so dry and blunt and say the things im thinking or do the things I want to do lol<3 very like, cathartic and honest and lovely aaaaa I cannot put into words how much I love it I feel like im not even describing it accurately aaaaa

and yea screenwriting was really great! on top of the creative writing program I took several film classes so I got to go through their screenwriting program which is basically writing a movie over the course of a year, so I left college having written a senior thesis in English and a full length movie script - still in the process of cleaning up the script to like, actually send to competitions and whatnot or whatever im supposed to do lol, but omg I enjoyed bringing the characters to life SO much its just so fun, and like in class you got to choose people to read each part and stuff and like, I enjoyed that camaraderie so much and I think in the future, if I could ever get a gig, it would be really fun to try my hand at being a casting assistant for actual stuff bc I just love the whole idea of picking the right person to read a role :) awww be still my small heart. yeah screenwriting was such a fun sequence and im so glad and so lucky I got to take it as a non-film major!

hmmm I have a friend who's done a lot of law internships and stuff and I think I've heard that family law is one of the ones that's rewarding but can also be draining, real estate on the other hand I haven't heard much about!! but im sure you'll probably have to learn and experience a TON before making that decision, hopefully :) haha! I hope that whatever you choose is absolutely AMAZING and so rewarding :)

[okyio-archive]

hey guys !! im so sorry for being absent for so long :+( !! it’s been a crazy couple of days and i really needed to recover after everything that has been happening. again i just want to say thank you for everyone who has been so patient with me. i’m going to clear these anon msgs + i’ll respond to all my private msgs&discord chats + check out what i’ve missed once i wake up tomorrow. i love you guys sm for showing love + support. i wish you a happy thursday :+)

sims related

Would u ever do an editing tutorial? like how u draw little doodles and stuff like that! If it's not too much fo a hassle. love you SO MUCH!! <3

hey nonny :+) please check the faq next time !! I’ve answered how i drew the little doodles there but for a full blown tutorial i’ve already mentioned that i’ll do one once i have more free time :+) !! thanks for the support love !!

What are your favorite brushes for edits?

i recently found one right over here :+) and i’ve been experimenting w/ em !! tbh i dont have a fav cause im always trying out new brushes out + seeing which ones i like !!! so im sorry if that doesn’t answer your question asjkdhf

hi!!! hope you're having a good day!! is it okay to use the sims from your sim dump in a story as long as you get credit? if not i totally understand!

thanks nonny for asking :+) !! yeah definitely !! you can do whatever you like w/ them !! i would love to see so feel free to @ me :’+) have fun and tysm for using my sims :’+)!!

personal questions

Can i be your friend?

ofc nonny :+) !! ill prob reply slow af but i promise you that i would love to make friends :+) so hmu whenever you feel comfortable !!

How do you deal with perfectionism? Or what ever that word is????

honestly, tk wrote a perfect post outlining what she does and it helped me out a lot as well !! so check her post out + hopefully it can help you a bit too :+) if you ever need someone to talk to, im here :’+)

would it be ok if I asked u for friendship advice?

ofc nonny :+) !!! just hmu off/on anon in my inbox or pm if you wish :+) im always willing to help as long as you’re a little patient w/ me since i reply quite late haha but im always here to listen + give my 2 cents :+)

I find it so hard to study, I get distracted so easily and sometimes it isn’t my phone :(

awh man nonny i know what you mean. i struggle w/ studying a lot and i’m a uni student haha. besides the typical tips you can find online, what i found is this app called forest (it’s on ios + android devices!!) to help me stay on task (whether it’s studying/chores). check out more information here. it’s been honestly helping me a lot + who doesn’t like plants??? 

I don't know who to tell this to and you seem really kind: I'm the pickiest eater I've ever met or heard of. It's just NO most food is disgusting it just makes me wanna barf. And everyone treats me like a 4-year-old child. Nothing cheers me up anymore. I think I have selective eating disorder and nobody understands :( People are being mean to me all the time because I don't like certain foods and maybe I AM just a 4-year-old child. I need help and comfort :( Because being a picky eater is hard.

awh nonny first thank you for telling me about that :’+) im really sorry if im replying this super late asldkjf. i honestly really appreciate that you opened up to me about it okay? i know this can be difficult since it’s smt so personal. i want to let you know right now that i’m always here for you + supporting you okay? i know it’s difficult when your surrounding group of people don’t understand / support. although i haven’t personally dealt with this, i would suggest finding a professional + see what their take on it? if it’s to the extent that certain food makes you barf, it’s def more than just “wow ur picky” yeuno? cause you physically can’t eat smt without barfing it all out. seek a professional when you’re more comfortable okay? you dont have to do it now but baby steps!! remember you’re not alone, im always here for you oaky nonny :+) every step of the way!! lmk + update me okay? i’m wishing you luck ily !!

my moms having her 4th child and like im really nervous abt it cause this is the first time im actually old enough to like remember it and take care of him and like im scared

!! nonny thank you for coming up to me + telling me about it - i honestly really appreciate it :’+) !! first of all: congrats !! i know things will definitely be different since there are responsibilities to deal w/ and added stress but remember !! to take it slow okay? it’s 100% okay to make mistakes. it’s 100% normal to feel overworked. there will prob be more little arguments here and there since everyone will be quite restless + more irritable but take it slowly + (literally) baby steps okay? if it gets too much for you, take a breather and come back to it. im sure your mom will understand if it gets too much for you. and besides - im here supporting and rooting for you too nonny :+) !! i honestly cant imagine taking care of another human being at this age either - heCk i can’t even take care of myself askdjhf but remember it’s a learning curve!! it’ll take awhile + there will be a lot of obstacles to huddle through but it’ll be rewarding okay? again, if u ever need someone to talk to, im always here :+) !! ily nonny!! stay strong

Hi! I'm really sorry to bother you rn, but I just really, REALLY miss my dog who passed away several years ago. She was like my sister... I related to her more than people & I could always rely on her for comfort. All I want to do is just hug her again, but I know I can't do that. I just can't move on. I love her so much. I'm sorry, but I need to tell this to someone, ANYONE, because it's really been keeping me down lately...(dog death anon cont.) I've been seeing a therapist since she's died, and I've been on several medicines which DO help, but only to a certain degree. I realize there's a certain part that I, myself, need to control (ie moving on). but like I said, it's hard. I haven't told anyone this, because I'm afraid of looking stupid for letting my dog's death get to me this much that it's required hospitalizations and such. I just want to see her again. (end)

!!!!! asdf you’re never a bother nonny !! dont ever thing that alright? i’m always here for you ready to listen no matter what (i’m just a super slow replier so i apologize for that askdhf). but first thank you for coming to me + telling me about your personal problems - i honestly appreciate sm. i’m honestly so sorry nonny... i can relate to some extent because i got my dog when i was in gr 7 and he was my only friend who i can go to to feel love + comfort up since i’ve been bullied since elementary school & never really had friends. i can’t imagine what you’re going through .. i’m honestly so sorry. don’t think that you’re stupid at all okay? i’m the last person on the earth to ever think you are. i’m glad you’re seeking a therapist right now !! however, i 100% understand if it’s difficult to move on - cause it is!! my grandpa past away 10 years ago and he was one of my best friends and he was really the only “father figure-like” role model i look up to. till this day my heart aches thinking about my grandfather and how much i miss him. similarly, i would definitely feel the exact same way w/ my dog if he passed away because i treasure him sm. so don’t be too hard on yourself about moving on. i know it’s easier said than done but different people vary on how long they mourn for. some can be 100% okay in a couple months while others takes years - and that’s 100% okay! why? because we’re human. there’s no need to rush in “moving on” - take it in your own pace. i know the pressure / stigma of others thinking you’re “weird/stupid” for being like this state further creates anxiety/stress in “forcing” yourself to rapidly wanting to move on. however, i urge to try your best to ignore what others might think + focus on yourself to the best of your abilities. perhaps distract yourself in finding a new hobby / doing smt that you love or smt new. it takes time to recover - no matter how long you take, no one’s rushing you oke :+)? ill be here every step of the way if u ever need me. it’s okay to have those days where you tried so hard but u end up at point A because after you go through that hurdle, you’ll be closer to your goal. take as long as you need - baby steps nonny :+) i’m here rooting for you oke? i love you so much. you’re a strong sweetheart and i know you can do it. 

[thelifetimechannel]

[cow3survivor]

Episode 1 Pt. 2: “Playing a Game With A Fresh Slate” - Jessica

SAM

https://youtu.be/gmZlNel3IZM

JESSICA

We did it! We won immunity! Shout out to Sammy for making the flag that won us the advantage and Pete for doing so well in luck! Also in 6 hours or however long it has been since my last confessional, I have decided I do like Sam and we will align. So I guess I want to align with everyone except Madison... hopefully if we lose she is out first!

JABARI

So our tribe is heading to tribal and I'm very nervous because anyone can go atp. I need to make sure that isn't me.

JENNET

we flopped that :(( and i think i may be one of the reasons :( trying my best to not let anybody know im upset but as tribal council looms closer im getting worried

(a little later)

im trying not to throw anybody under the bus but i think that im voting out nash :(( they havent been super active and they havent texted me back since i texted them so it just makes sense to boot them :((

(after eating some rice)

voting out another black woman weighing heavy on me :( i hate that its coming to this

PETE

our tribe had a celebratory discord call which only consisted of like 4 or 5 people but i joined later after everyone left anyways i had a long nice chat with Sam in which i found out he hosts an in person survivor with his friends at home and hes nice ANYWAYS he apparently, like me, is cursed to forever be a premerger. So from here on out i solemnly swear to never vote for Sam during the premerge phase fuck yeah

JAKE

https://youtu.be/aVQKOOrapj0

remind me tomorrow to chill out and take a back seat on the vote lmaooo

PENNINO

Going to tribal i feel like i'm pretty much safe. I feel like that 4 minutes was a good time for the easy jigsaw, but Ethan getting 1.5 minutes is almost impossible. Assessment on my tribemates Jabari: Seems like a nice person, has talked more and has been much more active, I think she has gotten herself off of the chopping block. Jake: Still a nice person, but has lost some activity during yesterday. Possible Ally still Jennet: Nice, active enough, not a target Jones: Not very active. A bit of a target. I will most probably to vote her to be say. Lindsay: Very active, we talk to each other a lot, nice person, possible ally Mikey: Nice person, nothing much, not a target Nash: ˆˆˆ Nicole: ˆˆˆ, but not as active Silver: Active, nice person, but he doesn't respond to my dm's that much, but, still, a possible ally. I feel pretty good about this tribal honestly

JONES

https://youtu.be/2UtH-dnv0i4

SAM

https://youtu.be/lzZOK2CxsA4

MIKEY

WELL HELLO LADIES. SO SO SO SO SO! Instead of rambling Ill just get on with it. Starting off, Me and Nash REALLY freaking connected. Like they’re so fun to talk to!! BUT. They’ve been inactive. and so Pennino is now going around spreading their name, and basically everyone is saying sure why not. This SUCKS because Me and Jabari wanted to make an alliance with them and jake, but now we are faced with a problem. We both have basically decided that instead of Nash we are gonna drag in Peppino. I brought that idea up because me and him are both the youngest people in the game, and I really wanna go far with Peppino. My goal this season is to beat a bunch of adults and make them feel angry that a 15 year old outsmarted them. Its so funny! Anyways besides that, Im feeling good about that 4. I wish it wasn't Nash going home, considering the only other name out was Jones, and I woulda much rather did her, but you know that's how the cards fall I guess. A bad bitch is done with tonights confessional. A bad bitch is now gonna press submit. A bad bitch says GOODBYE ASF!

SILVER

https://youtu.be/JLwZRNesRHI

LINDSAY

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YF3mYJfYIq_2Qco8EQYq3JowyMSbin8M/view?usp=sharing

NASH 

im crying i have no idea whats going on!!! HKDHEJDHW all i know is talk to mikey and play 8 ball with nicole

(a little later)

ETHAN 

Charan's Hot Confessional Questions

<a:dance:777952213808447519> 1. Give us a Trust Rankings of your tribemates! Who are you bonding with the most? Who are you bonding with the least? I trust Shane the most, and right now that’s because he is the only person that is actively strategizing. Besides that, I feel the most amicable with Jessica, lovealis, and Daisy who are wonderful people. Unfortunately both Cloud and Madison have made 0 effort with me and are generally inactive with me. <a:dance:777952213808447519> 2. Have any alliances formed on your tribe? If so, how loyal are you to these alliances? If not, do you think there are alliances out there that don't include you? There are no alliances that I’m in that have been formed, but I suspect there are some out there. Alliances without me are ok, I just need to know about them, and if there are any right now, I don’t know about them, and that’s concerning. <a:dance:777952213808447519> 3. How did your first Safari experience/run go! Did you get any closer to finding an idol? I WILL NEVER FIND ANYTHING IN A LUCK BASED SYSTEM <a:dance:777952213808447519> 4. Explain why Ryan and Charan are hotter than you A fact of life... these two slay.

LOVELIS

So things are going okay on the tribe so far! The first immunity win was rather nice & I like being able to have a bit more time to read people until were thrown into the pressure of a tribal. So far I’m definitely clicking the most with Shane and then probably Jessica but the time zones are getting in the way a little - just glad I have more time to really click with people and try and cement a place for me in this tribe. I think my contributions to the challenges have definitely helped my standing but not everybody is being super social with me so that’s a little bit of a worry - just gonna have to go ham at bothering people in private messages until they respond I suppose! 🤪

MADISON

Hi beautiful humans!!! I wish I had tea for y'all but we've won 2 challenges in a row and I really don't see the grind stopping in the foreseeable future so the tribe is kinda just vibing which gives me a little bit more time to build relationships which is a blessing and a half. I always get extremely paranoid the first week in games so the fact that I know for certain I won't be first boot is amazing!!! Tribe bonding is scheduled for tonight so hopefully by next round I'll have an alliance or 2 (maybe even the idol if I'm feeling really lucky)

JENNET

Last night really lit up a light in me. it sounds like everybody wants to work with me which is good so im now newly excited to play the game

SAMMY

okay okay okay so I would do a full out cast assessment but I literally just can not do that rn...so let's talk about who I vibe with most and who I have made like strong connections with so far! Initially, both Daisy and Jess have declared I am someone they really want to work with which is perfect for me because I want to work with them as well. I know daisy is going to be such a great competitor and I want to be on her side 100% but same with jess...im such a loyal bitch okay!! Me and Kiki really bonded over that logic puzzle so she went up in my rankings (as if she was ever low to begin with) I am not sure how well me/Pete/Nicole(opposite tribe) are gonna mesh...like I really hope me and Nicole can come together this game but I know we are just gonna end up being paranoid of each other but I love her so much. I REALLY WANTED TO BE ON A TRIBE WITH NASH AND JENNET I luv their vibes so much. okay back to my tribe tho, we won reward #mwah! I put so much effort into that because I just knew if we were to go to tribal that's an easy thing under my belt I could use as a "omg u need me for challenges". I noticed I was coming on a little too strong and presenting myself as a leader which I don't think really hurt me I think it made more people realize they should talk to me KHFBHIS. Umm okay so I love lovelis even tho he is not very active but I just know we will have each others backs for a bit. I connected well with Shane and Ethan very early and they just seem so sweet. I think if we would have went to tribal sam/lovelis/Pete could have been in danger. I would have preferred sam cause he isn't that active but he did help out some with the flag work. ANYWAYS this was not my best confessional but I do want to point out I FOUND A VOTE BLOCK SO HOLLLLLLAAAAAA! we are using this as a way to gain peoples trust so I told daisy and jess to strengthen those relationships mhmm

NASH

me pretending to be surprised that ppl wanted to vote me out first because i was kinda inactive.... i thought survivor would be different 💔

JENNET

not me being targeted for being a pretty black girl with a juicy fat ass *sad face emojis*

(a little later)

its tribal council and im shaking and im nervous, this could go horribly wrong or this could go super right

TRIBAL COUNCIL

SILVER EXIT INTERVIEW