#this entire game series has been about learning to deal with grief | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

notesofarichlycolorednight · 10 months ago

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since i'm back in my ffxv phase, i've been thinking more and more about super eyepatchwolf's video on it and it really does tie in with what hbomb says about rwby, bc it like has moments of threatening to be good but ultimately misses the mark

i just rewatched the kingsglaive movie and there's so much untouched story that has so much potential, but the game doesn't really tap into any of it.

like yes, it's ultimately about noct, but i agree with eyepatchwolf in that the game should've started the player in insomnia, so that the player could build a rapport and connection with the city itself and its citizens before dealing the blow the city has fallen and the king is dead

now, eyepatchwolf goes into gameplay mechanics, and from my very limited perspective, having never played ffxv bc i don't enjoy combat games, but now having more experience with games in general, rather than just watching let's plays, i would agree with his criticisms about it. just wanted to put that out there

bc what i want to talk about is the story and how it progresses, aside from the game-play mechanics. bc it feels very disjointed and like it didn't quite know what it wanted to be or do.

bc i've also been watching a "movie" of a play-through of the entire game (i'm writing a fic that spans across the story and then some, and am trying to get back into the story), and after insomnia falls, it's so jarring to go instantly back into game-play, wacky and goofy backing tracks included. bc then it flip-flops between these side-tangents with fun, hoppy little music, back to cut-scenes of the characters talking about what happened to insomnia, before jumping back to far too light-hearted interstitial dialogue teasing noct about his wedding with luna when they find out she's actually still alive.

side note: also the fact that they completely gloss over the fact that they believed she had perished alongside the king, and then find out she's actually alive? and instead of reconciling with that, they tease noct about a wedding that might not occur bc not only has niflheim declared all-out war by taking over the last stronghold of lucis, and taking the crystal, but they have also kept luna as a political prisoner for almost a decade. and sure, she's been going about awakening the gods for noct, but it's very clear from the scenes in altissa that niflheim is still in control. there's just so much to unpack there, and the game just completely ignores it! /tangent

like yes, the worst thing about the worst day of your life is that the world keeps turning and going and moving forward without waiting. but i really wish they had changed the score a little, at the least, and incorporated noct's grief into the main storyline of the game (as well as the others, since they also grew up in insomnia and gladio lost his father, too).

they do address this more in the animated series, but since the game came first, i shouldn't need to seek out additional material for the game if i want the whole story/more emotional depth.

i just wish they had planned for the possibility that the little side-quests and tangents you could do in this game (which, yes, I understand is an open-world) would take place after the fall of insomnia. bc in the "movie" of the game i'm watching, they player goes to ride chocobos right after learning the news about insomnia, and it is so jarring to hear the upbeat, happy little music while they chocobo race, knowing that this tragedy to their home just happened, and that noct (and gladius) are probably grieving for their father(s). i think it would be difficult, since this is an open-world game, i am not denying that, but not impossible.

i think having more time to explore the city and learning about the citizens, and the current political climate would also help with establishing that, while the fall of insomnia is a terrible tragedy, life outside of the insomnia is,,,pretty normal? like yes, niflheim has been invading cities around insomnia, and the king has given a lot of them willingly, but like i said above, life unfortunately and fortunately marches on. ppl still have to live their lives under a governing body that has invaded and taken them over (or as in altissa's case, made an unfavorable deal with niflheim to avoid complete loss of autonomy).

i don't think i'm asking too much of a game that obviously wanted to tell a story, but i do think some elements are probably more meant for a movie or a tv show just bc at some point they do have to focus on the game part of the game. so i can't fault it for being a game, ultimately. and i know that ffxv was in development hell for years, so i don't blame anyone here for what i wish it had been. i just think it's a shame that so much potential for strengthening the story (and the game-play mechanics) were lost. and imagining what it could've been just makes me sad lol

#chirp.txt #i have no idea what i'm saying anymore actually #i'm having a weird one #but like when am i not lol

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xaracosmia · 11 months ago

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ꕥ — WELCOME TO EXO COSMIA, SIFFRIN. 🌑

ꕥ — OOC INFORMATION;

name / alias: Finch age: 28 pronouns: he/they/it ooc contact: catboycharon on twitter or toxicwrench on tumblr other characters in xc: kokichi ouma, sou hiyori, yomiel

ꕥ — IC INFORMATION;

name: Siffrin age: mid 20s pronouns: he/they series: In Stars And Time canon point: post game app triggers: self harm, suicide/suicidal ideation, memory Loss/modification, mentions of eye trauma, child death, hallucinations, psychotic breaks/unreality

[WOW BIG IN STARS AND TIME SPOILERS! TURN BACK IF YOU WANT TO PLAY I GUESS?]

personality:

If asked, Siffrin would describe himself as a laid back, “funnyjokespun” person. He appears easygoing and even a bit jovial, never able to take much seriously beyond a surface level. Relaxed and perceptive, if a bit prone to zoning out or dozing off, Siffrin easily fades into the background until he has a pun to share. Even then he doesn’t actually speak up much, preferring to listen to others talk with only a few comments of his own. It’s easier that way, getting to be present without having to carry the conversation himself. Paired with how he rarely shares his inner workings, personal feelings, or even background, Siffrin can come across as aloof and mysterious. It might not seem like he even cares all that much, generally just going along with whatever’s easiest or immediately funny. That is until he does whatever he can to protect those he cares about. Or says something incredibly concerning. Either or, really.

On the inside, Siffrin cares more than they can put into words. More than they can say without finding it embarrassing. They like helping others, getting people to smile, both selflessly and selfishly. Both are true in that Siffrin wants to make others happy simply because they deserve it while also wanting to appear better so others will keep them around. They cling desperately to what they love, dig their claws in, try so hard to be useful, wanted, to say the right things. Siffrin cares a little too much. But they can’t say it, because, well. It’s too much. That’s the point, right?

For as much as they say they’re fine, they’re very easily overwhelmed and anxious, always struggling against their emotions and past experiences. Siffrin doesn’t know how to deal with many of their problems, doesn’t know how to verbalize them or feel deserving of help and as a result has gotten very good at running from them entirely. Even if they know what’s wrong they often refuse to think about it, as most times they do they blame themselves and sink into a self deprecating spiral. Whether or not something is even in their control Siffrin is cruel to themselves, barely able to understand that they’re lovable without having to manipulate others into feeling that way. The loops exacerbated it all, Siffrin’s self-destructive tendencies given the ability to run rampant without consequence, both physical and mental. He wasn’t particularly stable even before they started, but it’s only gotten harder and harder to hide since then. There’s no way to understand them without knowing why they’ve grown to be this way. Their forgetful nature is more than meets the eye, Siffrin quite literally cannot help how much they forget when their memory has been punched full of holes. It frustrates them to no end. They can be as perceptive, as clever, as well versed in something as they like and, inevitably, things are lost.

They’ve never managed to learn how to cope with grief. With mourning. With forgetting.

With letting go.

Siffrin isn’t very good at any of it. They don’t want to lose anything else. It’s inevitable, but they try, really!

It’s fine. He’s better now after having to spill his guts and accept help. For as difficult as it is for him to open up, for as much as he prefers to keep all the ugly, desperate thoughts to himself, Siffrin has seen what it can lead to. So he has to– has to make an effort not to fall into the same habits.

…It’s… Not fine. But maybe it will be, eventually.

something your muse struggles with: Remembering is always a good start. Places, people, events, words, you name it! They struggle to accept loss and cope with grief, clinging desperately to what little they have left. Often fueled even unconsciously by their fear of abandonment, of forgetting. They’re terrible at opening up to others to boot! Wow! And remembering… Did I say that already? These go hand in hand i promise.

your muse’s greatest strength: do puns count..? No? Okay, well. Siffrin cares very intensely and deeply for anyone who gives him the time of day. He’s fiercely devoted and eager to help those in need, strangers or friends alike. Even his puns and bad jokes are to try to cheer others up!

history / background:

There isn’t much to say about Siffrin’s history. Not further back, not where they came from. There was more, once, but nobody, not even Siffrin themselves could say. Vaguely they recall having parents? Coming to on a boat with no memory of who they were, where they came from, what language they spoke. It all hurt to think about, whatever wounds left over on their memory would never fully heal either, waiting until something prodded at them as they wandered through life. Siffrin had no home, after all, so they grew up traveling the globe, always a stranger, a visitor as they went from place to place.

Eventually, in adulthood, they revisited the country of Vaugarde where they’d washed ashore in their childhood. Maybe not the best idea they’d discover, as someone known as the King had somehow gotten the power to start freezing the entire country in time. A bit more dangerous than anticipated, but Siffrin was skilled enough to manage themselves and even help a few people along the way. Three of whom claimed to be on a journey to stop the King like some kind of heroes. Mirabelle, a woman being called the “chosen one�� by locals, had the power to counter the King’s curse. She and her companions, Isabeau and Odile, asked for Siffrin’s help after they lended a hand (or knife) to defeat a particularly strong monster.

He had nothing better to do, so he agreed to come along.

On their journey to recover the orbs that would get the party into the House the King had taken over, they spotted a child on their own who’d been running from the slowly encroaching curse. Bonnie, who desperately wanted to save their sister who’d been frozen in time, insisted on coming along for the ride, completing their little party.

Siffrin didn’t realize how much he grew to care about them all, how much he loved them, would do anything for them. Not until Bonnie was in harm's way and a monster- Sadness, they were called- struck at them. Nobody was close enough to stop it, but Siffrin was the fastest. He could just get there in time to take the hit for Bonnie. It cost him his eye, but he didn’t regret it. He would do anything to keep his friends safe, no sacrifice would be too great. Injury or not, traveling with them was the happiest he’d ever remembered being.

When they finally gather the orbs and get to the town of Dormont, just by the House the King took over, things change. Not noticeably at first, Siffrin has a nice time taking a nap in the nearby meadow the day before the final confrontation. There’s a tree Isabeau is visiting, the Favor Tree, a place for people to ask for, well, a favor. Or a wish. It’s a nice sentiment, everyone surely is wishing for the King to be defeated so Vaugarde can be saved. Siffrin makes a wish himself, though he doesn’t want to take away from everyone else, so… Something small. Something nice.

He wishes to continue traveling with Mirabelle and see her get more comfortable expressing herself. He wants to stay with them!

… They all spend the night together, Isabeau promises to tell him something important after they defeat the king. The next morning, the party ventures to the House. They make it not a few rooms in before, while checking a room for traps as is his job, Siffrin misses something. The next moment a rock falls and they’re crushed to death and-

They feel a tug on their stomach.

And Siffrin wakes back up in the meadow the day before they died.

After completely failing to act like normal to hide their apparent time traveling, Siffrin hears a voice directing him to visit the Favor Tree again. When he arrives he finds a figure sitting beneath it, a person with a star where their head should be who introduces themselves as Loop. They’re grating, annoying, but they know what’s going on, at least a bit. They give guidance, albeit condescendingly, and help Siffrin navigate the time loop he finds himself in. He has to gather information, to try to get through the House and beat the king, but every time he dies Siffrin loops back in time. It’s not impossible to control, there are different points in which he can return to, but the earliest he can go back to is waking up in that meadow. Sometimes, he finds he has to loop on purpose in order to go back to get something he needs.

It’s scary how easily Siffrin adjusts to it. How easy it is to stop valuing his own wellbeing.

Loop after loop, Siffrin gets used to the same repeating lines of dialogue, the same script, the same enemies. They get stronger, they learn more, they get to fight the king. He kills them, easily, but they come back. They have unlimited tries, they’re fine, even if it hurts even if they wake up shaking and reeling they’re fine. They can investigate, find counters to every obstacle thrown their way. The King can kill everyone in one attack, Loop supports and offers ideas, Siffrin finds a way to make them real and finds a way for Mirabelle to learn a shield spell every new try.

Eventually they beat the king. They did it, they won, even if Isabeau is interrupted when he tries to tell them that something he mentioned it’s okay because they won. They can leave. The Head Housemaiden who’d been trapped by the King thanks them all, thanks Siffrin and. Something. Goes. Wrong. She breaks down, cries, apologizes. Something’s breaking, something’s failing, rotting. It smells of burned sugar.

They feel a tug on their stomach.

And Siffrin wakes back up in the meadow.

…There has to be something else. Something they missed. The loops continue, Siffrin becomes more and more desperate, they try everything they can think of. Helping everybody else with their problems doesn’t work, the power of love doesn’t work, acknowledging their lost history and the country they and the King came from doesn’t work, empathizing with the King and his plight doesn’t work and Bonnie dies for their foolish hopes, nothing works. Either Siffrin dies or makes it to the end and they loop back. They’re so tired. Every loop they pray for rest.

Occasionally, when they fail to stay on script, when they upset Bonnie to the point of lashing out, when they spend the day with Loop instead of going to the House and everyone else dies, when they act selfishly and alienate Isabeau by pushing him to confess (because Siffrin knew what he wanted to say, they need to hear it though it doesn’t count if he doesn’t say it. It doesn’t. It doesn’t. It doesn’t-) they loop back just enough to avoid that horrible new reality.

Their desperate, feverish attempts to find out why they’re looping leads them to a type of magic, Wish Craft. Something that grants wishes, either with a properly done ritual or with enough people, a whole country wishing for the same thing. The Head Housemaiden seemed to have been looking into it, but the next time Siffrin gets to her, she tells them, apologizes. It must be everyone’s fault Siffrin is stuck there, they must have wished wrong and their wish for a savior to come protect Vaugarde must have broken, failed, rotted. Turned into an endless loop with Siffrin stuck at the center. Forever.

They smell burning sugar.

They feel a tug on their stomach.

They wake up in the meadow again.

Siffrin cannot be stuck here forever. There has to be something, anything to save them. They would gladly spend an eternity with their friends but after so many of the same lines, the same scenes, the same script they don’t feel real. Everyone they love feels like an actor, a cardboard cutout, a character instead of the real people. Siffrin cannot be stuck here forever, they need to get out.

The wish was centered on them, right? Maybe they need to defeat the King by their own hand. Every time it was Mirabelle who landed the final blow, so maybe that’s it? They can’t think of anything else. Siffrin can’t hold it together, they try to push the others harder, lashes out and says horrible, cruel things without meaning to. But they do it, and none of their party, their family wants to be around them. They overhear the four of them discussing going to the House without them, arguing about if they can trust them.

Siffrin goes to the House alone, cleaves a path through it as the world itself glitches and warps around them, as they see ghosts of themself in the halls, as everything stops making sense. They continue onward, face the King on their own and. Almost manage to defeat him. He stops them in time before they can win, traps them in a nightmare of their own traumas, their fears laid out and impossible to fight on their own. Siffrin longs for what they can never have, consumed by homesickness, by grief, the fact that after what they said their family must hate them. They ruin everything they touch, cannot fight against their memories, their being, everything that was ripped from them. Their home. That everything that made them who they are is gone, forgotten by the Universe itself, and they too will be forgotten, forgotten, forgotten–

He’s pulled from the nightmare by Mirabelle’s powers as the others arrive, having gone in after to help. The four of them take the King down using some new skill Mirabelle learned in his absence that reflects the King’s curse back onto him. Siffrin, weakened after having taken everything on alone and is supported by their family as they all make their way to the Head Housemaiden once more. He can’t understand why, after all those horrible things he said, why? Something’s different, though, the sky is broken, it looks like the end of the world. Everything is normally painted in greyscale, completely absent of color. Now a huge, bright red crack in the shape of a star pulses in the sky.

When they reach the end again, where the Head Housemaiden waits for them, that’s it. The end. As every time before, they talk about it being the end. The journey is over.

Siffrin doesn’t want it to end. If it ends, everyone leaves. If it ends, everyone goes home. Siffrin does not have a home, they have their family. That’s it.

Siffrin doesn’t want it to end. Siffrin refuses to let it end. They’re consumed by the magic that allows them to loop through time, overwhelmed by it as they refuse to let their family go again. But they can’t hurt them, they have to direct it somewhere and they hurt themselves and despite looming over them as a massive, astral being Mirabelle still heals them.

They all don’t understand but he can’t say it. It isn’t the people’s wish keeping him here, it isn’t a broken one. They come to realize it was his all along.

His family says: Tell us your wish!

And he knows the answer.

‘He wants to stay with them!’

And they love Siffrin, they bring him back to himself, they all agree to keep traveling together and not let their journey be over . They agree to keep in touch, to not let their bonds die even if they aren’t physically together. Even if they’re upset, they still care. They love him.

This is so long i cant write anymore i’m so fucking sorry. Love wins or whatever also includes the loop epilogue he is loved and he loves and his maladies truly are endless but things get better okay i promise okay bye let me know if i need to elaborate on anything ever mwah

powers / abilities:

CRAFT SKILLS: Magic! Offensive Craft Skills fall under 1 of 3 types: Rock, Paper, and Scissors. Siffrin is Scissors type and, as one might imagine, is weak to Rock type. When 5 of one type is used in a row by the party they can get a Jackpot combo, which deals heavy damage of said type to all enemies while healing the party and reviving any fallen allies.

Knife to Meet You: Deals scissors damage to one enemy. May lower enemy’s defense. 1 turn cooldown.

Too Cleaver By Half: Deals scissors damage to all enemies. Might lower enemy’s attack. 3 turn cooldown.

Make Up The Time: Makes all allies faster for a few turns. 3 turn cooldown.

Turn It Up: Gives his turn to an ally. Boosts their attack and crit chance. 1 turn cooldown.

Buy One Get One Three: Deals 3 scissors hits to one enemy. High chance of being a critical hit. 2 turn cooldown.

Done Heal: Heals 30% of a ally’s HP and boosts their attack. 2 turn cooldown.

Tear You Apart: Deals big Paper damage to one enemy. Gives two Jackpot points instead of one. 2 turn cooldown.

Rock Bottom: Deals big Rock damage to one enemy. Gives two jackpot points instead of one. 2 turn cooldown.

Regener-ade: For three turns everyone in the party regenerates 10% of HP every turn. 5 turn cooldown.

(Just Attack): Deals massive Scissors damage to all enemies. Doesn’t give a Jackpot point. 3 turn cooldown.

WISH CRAFT: An additional type of craft that requires specific rituals to perform in order to grant a wish. Even if done correctly Wish Craft might not directly make a wish come true, but instead will provide the means for doing so. Warning: may break reality slightly. Don’t worry about it.

inherent abilities:

MEMORIES: They will always remember these. Only one may be equipped at a time. Most of them have effects that don’t work here, but… They are quite literally memories.

Memory of Self: It's a memory of Siffrin! They have, theoretically, so many to choose from! [+5 to all stats.]

Memory of Loops: Round and round it goes. Doesn’t seem like it’ll help much here. [+5 max HP per loops. Currently adds +630 HP.]

Memory of A Journey: The curtains will close, but the story will go on for a bit longer! [Heals 6% HP every turn.]

Memory of Victory: Boosts all allies' attack at the start of battle.

Memory of Memories: You remember this, at least. [Can read in their country’s written language.]

Memory of Touch: You had eyes bigger than your stomach. Disgusting, disgusting, disgusting. [-50 to all stats.]

Memory of Fishing: Don’t have to think about anything. [+2 attack for every time you’ve gone fishing, but -20 attack speed. Currently adds +62 attack.]

Memory of Defeat: Still a long way to go. [Get x3 memories of skirmish when defeating normal enemies. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of Keys: The castle’s full of keys! [Can get directions to a keys location in the House. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of Ghosts: House’s haunted. [No effect.]

Memory of Barrels: You like looking inside barrels. [Randomly find items when interacting with barrels. Doesn’t matter here…?]

Memory of Pillars: Paranoia also starts with a P. [Randomly find items when interacting with pillars. Doesn’t matter here…?]

Memory of Bomb: KABOOM!!! [If looping to the King, will have Bomb in pockets. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of Family: You don’t want to leave them behind. [EXP x2 for everyone except Siffrin. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of Sadnesses: They’re scared of you. [Sadnesses will flee from you. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of KnifeKey: Slice, slice, slice. [If looping to the King, will have the KnifeKey equipped. Doesn’t matter here.]

Aren’t you glad looping doesn’t work here? Aren’t you?? I am!

items / weapons:

Knife: Siffrin’s trusty dagger. Does the job.

Garden Scissors: Not that easy to wield. Cuts everything. [Boosts attack, lowers attack speed.]

KnifeKey: A blade gifted by the Change God, and sharpened by Siffrin. [Boosts attack when fighting the King. Doesn’t matter here.]

Starry Hat: The fabric lining the inside of the hat is filled with stars. [Boosts defense, attack speed, and crit chance, heals 5% HP every turn.]

Eternal Snacks: A seemingly endless supply of snacks. Somehow fits in their pocket.

starting ability: Knife to Meet You starting item: Siffrin’s knife

extra:

Canonically Siffrin is NOT a man, please stick to neutral titles. Saying “dude” and such casually is fine.

Ace rep btw I’m winning

~5ft or so, not quite canon but he’s the shortest out of the party barring the literal child.

Still has a residual sugary smell about them

Siffrin has all but a few of the souvenirs they can at the end of the game! Functionally they are useless, just little trinkets from home. Includes everything except for the starting silver coin (they have the special epilogue one), reminder note, loving fanmail, bomb components, and bonding earring. They have the fool as their drawn card.

The haunted look in his eye and autistic swag have bewitched me body and soul

See the wiki doesn’t have all the story information yet so i have to put it ALL myself from memory. Its SO long and i HATE IT but it’s what i gotta do. Lmk if i need to clarify anything at any point.

The thing about time loop jokes is, sure, they may be repetitive, but they never get old

discord id: mal.du.pays passcode: i made artemis assign a cosmia bc i didnt want spoiling BY GOD ILL PLAY THIS GAME

#xc application #mun: finch #exo cosmia

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wutheringmights · 3 years ago

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more headcanons would be sick!!!

More headcanons about the boys coming up!

Sky is severely dyslexic, which means he's always had a lot of problems with school. He needed Zelda tutor him his entire time at the Knight Academy in order to just barely pass a lot of his classes. Make no mistake: he is a really smart guy, but after going through years of being told he's not, he's adopted the mindset that he's pretty stupid no matter what he does. This also led to him having a lot of behavioral problems growing up. Everyone in Skyloft thinks that Sky calmed down once he returned from his adventure when in reality they started to respect him enough that he no longer lashed out.

Four is a minor member of the Knights of Hyrule. His family has ties to the clan, with his father being a minor knight and his grandfather being the knights' blacksmith. This is what allowed him to meet Zelda as a kid, as growing up they were often told to play together while the adults talked business. After his adventures, Four had an open invitation to join the knights, and he did for a stint and became Zelda's bodyguard (aka: the Four Swords games). But he inevitably went back to blacksmithing, to the frustration of his father.

Time and Malon didn't decide to have kids until much later in life, so much so that it was a health risk for Malon. Time fretted relentlessly, intent on running the ranch himself so that she didn't strain herself. But it turns out that all of the friends he had made on his adventures were more than happy to help around. But at this point, Time had finally decided to retire from adventuring, which led to his good relations with the royal family to fall apart (he was, after all, a pretty good mercenary to call on if anything went wrong), so hem received no help from Zelda. Their previously cordial relationship ended there, and the two never spoke to each other again.

Legend loves to travel to new lands, and he wrote countless books filled with descriptions of the foreign kingdoms he went to, what the people were like, and everything he could learn about their culture and history. He even wrote guides for all of the foreign languages he learned on his adventures. His writings became super popular among Hylian nobility and helped to foster an enthusiasm for trade (which helped the impoverished kingdom recover financially). Amazingly, his writings survived multiple destructions of Hyrule, which led to him being one of the best documented and most famous heroes in Hyrule's history.

Hyrule is low-key the most charismatic of all of the Links. He's so down to earth and can strike up a conversation with just about anyone. Because of this, he's also pretty popular back in his Hyrule. Everyone wants to shoot their shot with him. He is Hyrule's most eligible bachelor. He definitely knows this, but doesn't think it's a big deal. If anything, he's annoyed that everyone's standards are so low that him just being respectful and kind to everyone is known as something remarkable.

Twilight spent a lot of time in the Gerudo Desert post-adventure trying to collect all of the pieces of the Twilight Mirror and uncover as much as he can about the Twilight Realm. His quest led to him befriending the Gerudos, where he learned that the Twili and the Gerudo not only have a common ancestor, but the many of the Twili are regarded as mythic Gerudo figures. Twilight ends up marrying into the Gerudo tribe and starts a domino effect that leads to relations between the Gerudo and Hylians finally improving in the hundreds of years post-OoT.

Wind travels the Great Sea with Linebeck in his post-adventure life. It first began as an excuse to explore and look for treasure together, but as Tetra became more intend in discovering a new Hyrule, Wind decided to instead try to find a way to make the Great Sea more hospitable for others. He's especially interested in trying to find a way to help plant and animal life thrive in the ocean. Because Linebeck's ship is a steamer from a different universe, Wind and Linebeck also had to spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to repair the SS Linebeck, which led to Wind becoming quite a good mechanic in his own right.

If Warriors was from a higher class, he would have pursued law. While his Hyrule is still in the medieval stasis signature to the series, it is still thriving more than anyone else's to the point where hallmarks of later periods of real world history have developed, like factories and a robust justice system. But while a career in law is theoretically possible, it's only accessible for the rich. Warriors realized pretty quickly he needed a different career path, and well, he's always liked the idea of becoming a Knight of Hyrule.

When Wild first bought his home, he was told that the previous residents had abandoned the place years ago, but he didn't learn the full story until a few months later. According to local legend, the home's last owner was a family of knights who died during the Calamity, save for a young girl who had been left at home. The young girl had been filled with grief to learn of her family's passing, and the town had done their best to comfort her. One day, the girl left. She had no supplies with her, not even shoes on her feet. She walked as if in a daze, and no one could break her trance. A few concerned villagers followed her as far as they could, watching her make the slow hike up to Mount Lanayru. They lost her in a snow storm and could not find her afterwards, but it was said you could hear her crying when the wind blew at night. Wild didn't think about this legend much until he learned he had a sister.

#every and all wild headcanons are from the wild character study i will never write #also warriors wanting to be a lawyer is canon to CTB and might come up eventually as a fun character detail #linkeduniverse #linked universe #lu #lu sky #lu four #lu time #lu legend #lu hyrule #lu twilight #lu wind #lu warriors #lu wild #legend of zelda #loz #ask #anonymous #me rambling

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ryouverua · 3 years ago

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Saimota is a fantastic ship that only improves with age and their respective maturity. Right from the get-go we see this in canon, too! They have a tumultuous first clash at the end of chapter 1 which is immediately turned on its head, and the subsequent growth and development of their in-game relationship really stands out that much more because of it.

This is a long one, so strap in!

Kaito realizes his mistake in his approach after punching him the night before and rectifies it immediately the next morning when he notices Shuichi hasn’t come to breakfast, rightly guessing that he’s stewing in his own grief and misery. And then, being the emotionally intelligent guy he is, he follows up that night and drags him out to exercise (which, y’know, releases endorphins and is scientifically proven to help with mood boosts and even depression) - a move which Shuichi says in chapter 5 saved his life.

A couple days pass and a body drops. Kaito supports him through the investigation knowing that Kaede had been with him last time and that there’s a danger of him relapsing. In the trial, too, Kaito makes every effort to let Shuichi know that he isn’t alone and someone does have his back if he fumbles. This is the real moment that Shuichi chooses to depend on Kaito and is rewarded for it, and while Kaito does get plenty of ego-feed out of it, he believes in Shuichi and his talent wholeheartedly (enough so that it’ll come back to bite him later). But despite it being framed as a ‘hero and sidekick’ relationship, it’s not just for Kaito’s self-worth - it’s to take some of the mental load off of Shuichi, who really, really doesn’t want the pressure of everyone’s lives solely on his shoulders, and is now dealing with the guilt of two cases where uncovering the guilty party hurt him.

(quick chapter 2 interlude! while this is where a lot of the big hero-worship begins for Shuichi and happens to be where I also did his first FTE and got to witness this:

this is also the chapter when these moments happen, post-breakfast and post-casino scene respectively:

and this happens in the very next FTE:

mmm yes, the duality of man. Suffice it to say, while Shuichi has definite rose-coloured glasses on for a lot of the game, Kaito is definitely not an invincible, untouchable hero in his eyes)

Interestingly enough, despite Shuichi still very much leaning into their friendship (and vice versa), they don’t spend a lot of time together in Chapter 3 after he brings Maki out to training that first night! While Chapter 4 is their real ‘break’, Kaito spends a lot of time in his room in the second half while Shuichi gets to know Maki better. And while Maki is a much, uh, meaner investigation partner (love you girl, but that tongue is sharp), they make a great team. Shuichi also starts poking at Kaito’s reason for holing up in his room, incorrectly guess that it’s just related to the occult being brought up. Most importantly, Shuichi is able to do an investigation on his own independent of Kaito just a week after the end of Chapter 1.

Chapter 4 and its immediate aftermath in 5 is great because it showcases Kaito’s flaws and insecurity, and what conflict between the two of them look like. It’s because Kaito respects Shuichi so much that cracks in his own confidence start appearing - and while Shuichi can be obtuse and awkward at times, he shows signs of wanting to broach some more sensitive topics with Kaito; if you do FTEs with Kaito in Ch 4, he even has an inner narrative in which he notes that Kaito had said his stomach hurt before.

He’s not so self-absorbed as to not worry about his friend (but narratively we gotta save that juicy plot point and subsequent reveal for the end of the trial) but hey, Kaito wants to chill and just shoot the shit - so why not have some downtime with his friend in the murder school. Btw, their FTE availability ends here - so if Shuichi has completed them with Kaito, he’s already had his canon-saimota thoughts at this point. While I have given Shuichi the side-eye for his ‘I can rely on Kaito for anything’ spiel, he is fully able and willing to stand up to Kaito in the Chapter 4 trial despite his canon feelings for him at that point. By the way, it’s been a week and a half since the end of Chapter 1 at this point. Shuichi and Kaito have had an arc together where they become fast friends in a pressure-cooker situation and bonding over shared grief for Kaede (even if Kaito’s is less obvious), Shuichi starts as dependent on Kaito’s emotional support but learns to stand on his own two feet, and Kaito is forced to confront his own weakness and hero persona, all while classmates are dropping (including Kaito’s own ex-hero figure, a stark reminder that ‘heroes’ do have flaws).

So the beginning of Chapter 5 is wild to me because of how it’s so often misinterpreted as Kaito immaturely giving Shuichi the silent treatment despite the entirety of the game preceding it explicitly showing that Kaito will tell you, loudly, when he’s angry at you, and that’s purely because we’re in Shuichi’s perspective and he thinks that’s what’s going on - but that’s a bit of a tangent. What I like about it is how we get to see what happens when Kaito (as sick as he is at that point) feels badly and embarrassed with someone he is close to; he withdraws as opposed to lashing out. And while Shuichi is really, really bad at reaching out too without an inciting incident (tunnel escape), he does try and broach the topic when push comes to shove. He’s not lost in hero worship, not even close - he is rightfully upset that the person he’s closest to at the school is upset while still maintaining to himself and the others that his actions were correct. He doesn’t waver on this, despite his attempt to offer an olive branch at the window of the hangar’s bathroom. He truly stands by his own choices in the last class trial and know he won't back down on that if push comes to shove, and that's important - he won't yield the point just to appease Kaito. Shuichi then manages the investigation on his own, leads the trial on his own, faces off with Maki (and who he thinks is Kokichi) on his own, because he has *reached* a point where he can be independent. And to bring it back to how we get a look at ‘saimota in conflict’, Shuichi and Kaito both make amends with each other by the end of the chapter. Even if it’s spurred by it being their final goodbye, Shuichi gets to say his piece, Kaito lays out one of his own vulnerabilities so he can make peace with Shuichi - and even if I’d love to have had them delve into all of Kaito's various issues, there is a very murderous robobear overseeing this which makes time a factor - and I firmly believe that if they had more time, they could’ve resolved even more of the issues that would come up for Saimota. The groundwork wasn’t just there; there was already half the structure in place. And that’s what makes saimota even more appealing to me, tbh. We get to see them build a relationship, run into a big issue, struggle through it and resolve it by the end of the game - and it means that there’s precedent for them to do it again as more interpersonal challenges come up! It’s a goldmine of ship exploration, and they care about each other enough to work through it.

… By the way, at this point they are 2 weeks past the end of Chapter 1.

Imagine if they had more time. Imagine if Shuichi, who is absolutely dogged in pursuing an issue once he catches wind of it (despite how he can get wrapped up in his own head), who cares a lot for other people, who doesn’t just find runaways as part of his detective talent, but follows up with them after because he cares about more than just finishing the job, had the chance to spend years with Kaito and realize he uses his hero persona to protect a much more fragile sense of self. Imagine Shuichi forming that initial friendship with Kaito without the albatross of Kaede’s death hanging around his neck; about how he’ll still look up to Kaito and his fantastic positivity, passion and excellence in his chosen field, and that would only be matched by Kaito’s own admiration of Shuichi’s skills as a detective. Imagine if Kaito, who repeatedly shows the ability to reflect and change his mind when presented with evidence against his viewpoint and was able to express his own insecurity and jealousy to Shuichi in the end, was given the breathing room and space to get more comfortable with doing so. Imagine how difficult and emotionally mature they were to navigate as well as they did in a life-or-death situation that took place over a couple of weeks tops, and how much more they could grow if given the time and space for it.

... And this was nearly going to be where I ended the post, until Ira reminded me of TDP and sent me this wonderful Saimota event (which takes place before the final graduation/training trio event):

Oh hey, Shuichi picked up his catchphrase! It's quite cute how he's finishing Kaito's sentence here - he's spent a couple of years being friends with Kaito at this point, and has even taken up exercising on his own for stress relief. I wonder whose influence that was?

Anyway -

Shuichi has figured out at this point that he does need to firmly extend that helping hand to Kaito rather than worry and keep it to himself. On the other side, Kaito has learned that it is okay to accept that outstretched hand, even if he doesn't need it right now - that he can admit that some day, he might. He's being blase, sure, but it is a far cry from his in-game 'I don't/won't need help'. Good for you, Kaito - you've grown a lot! And that's the most important thing their TDPs show - their capacity for growth not just as individuals, but in a relationship. Of course there will be bumps along the way - it’s very rare that any relationship won’t have them! - but they've proven that they can work these problems in the worst of circumstances. This is by far one of the strongest ships with canon foundation in the entire series, and my goodness do I still love it years later.

#saimota #Kaito Momota #momosai #Shuichi Saihara #Danganronpa v3 #spoilers #drv3 spoilers #saimota.... is good #long drv3 posts in 2021? it's more likely than you think

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cielrouge · 4 years ago

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YA SFF Books by Latinx Authors

A Fierce and Subtle Poison by Samantha Mabry: Spending the summer with his hotel-developer father in Puerto Rico, 17-year-old Lucas turns to a legendary cursed girl filled with poison when his girlfriend mysteriously disappears.

All the Wind in the World by Samantha Mabry: Working in the maguey fields of the Southwest, Sarah Jac and James are in love but forced to start over on a ranch that is possibly cursed where the delicate balance in their relationship begins to give way.

Beneath the Citadel by Destiny Soria: In the city of Eldra, people are ruled by ancient prophecies. For centuries, the high council has stayed in power by virtue of the prophecies of the elder seers. In the present day, Cassa, the orphaned daughter of rebels, is determined to fight back against the high council. But by the time Cassa and her friends uncover the mystery of the final infallible prophecy, it may be too late to save the city — or themselves.

Blanca & Roja by Anne-Marie McLemore: The del Cisne girls, Blanca & Roja, have never just been sisters; they’re also rivals. Because of a generations-old spell, their family is bound to a bevy of swans deep in the woods. But when two local boys become drawn into the game, the swans’ spell intertwines with the strange and unpredictable magic lacing the woods, and all four of their fates depend on facing truths that could either save or destroy them.

Blazewrath Games by Amparo Ortiz: 17-year-old Lana Torres, who after rescuing a prized dragon, is awarded a spot on her native Puerto Rico’s Blazewrath World Cup team. But the return of the Sire, an ancient dragon, soon threatens to compromise this year’s tournament.

They Both Die in the End by Adam Silvera: Set in a near-future New York City where a service alerts people on the day they will die, about two teens who meet using the Last Friend app and are faced with the challenge of living a lifetime on their End Day.

The Body Market (Wired #2) by Donna Freitas: When Skylar's sister betrays her and opens the Body Market, everyone in the App World is for sale and Skylar resolves to stop her sister and the malevolent market.

Bruja Born (Brooklyn Brujas #2) by Zoraida Cordova: Teenage bruja Lula Mortiz tries to save her boyfriend, Maks, by cheating Death; however, Lady de la Muerte is not so easily bested.

The Buried by Melissa Grey: After disaster strikes the remote town of Indigo Falls. A horrific event drove the residents underground, into shelters that keep them safe from the danger on the surface. Now, a handful of families inhabit this bunker together, guided by a charismatic leader named Dr. Imogen Moran.

Cazadora (Wolves of No World #2) by Romina Garber: In this follow-up to Lobizona, Manu and her friends as they continue to fight for a better future.

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas: Latinx trans teen Yadriel, hoping to release his cousin’s spirit and prove himself as a brujo, accidentally summons the wrong ghost and resident bad boy Julian Diaz, falling in love with him.

Dark and Deepest Red by Anna-Marie McLemore: Summer, 1518. A strange sickness sweeps through Strasbourg: women dance in the streets, some until they fall down dead. As rumors of witchcraft spread, suspicion turns toward Lavinia and her family. Five centuries later, a pair of red shoes seal to Rosella Oliva’s feet, making her dance uncontrollably. They draw her toward a boy who knows the dancing fever’s history better than anyone: Emil.

Dealing in Dreams by Lilliam Rivera: 16-year-old Nalah leads the fiercest all-girl crew in Mega City, but when she sets her sights on giving this life up for a prestigious home in Mega Towers, she must decide if she’s willing to do the unspeakable to get what she wants.

Diamond City by Francesca Flores: Pulled from the streets at age twelve and trained to become one of the most powerful assassins in Sumerand, Aina Solis discovers a conspiracy that could rewrite the kingdom's history.

Dragonblood Ring (Blazewrath Games #2) by Amparo Ortiz: After the Sire’s capture, teen athletes Lana Torres and Victoria Peralta travel to Puerto Rico with their former Blazewrath team. While Lana discovers her roots, nothing fills the void Blazewrath’s cancelation has left in Victoria. But it’s up to their team and the Bureau to protect their dragons.

Each of Us a Desert by Mark Oshiro: Xochital is destined to wander the desert alone. Her one desire: to share her heart with a kindred spirit. One night, Xo’s wish is granted—in the form of Emilia, the cold and beautiful daughter of the town’s murderous mayor. But when the two set out on a magical journey across the desert, they find their hearts could be a match… if only they can survive the nightmare-like terrors that arise when the sun goes down.

Fire with Fire by Destiny Soria: A contemporary fantasy about two sisters, Dani and Eden Rivera, who were raised to be fierce dragon slayers but end up on opposite sides of the impending war when one sister forms an unlikely, magical bond with a dragon.

The First 7 (The Last 8 #2) by Laura Pohl: After leaving Earth, now devastated by an alien attack, and exploring the galaxy, Clover Martinez and her fellow teen survivors return home to find crystal formations in the soil that are threatening to destroy the planet, and a colony of survivors who are not who they seem.

Five Midnights by Ann Davila Cardinal: If Lupe Dávila and Javier Utierre can survive each other’s company, together they can solve a series of grisly murders sweeping though Puerto Rico. But the clues lead them out of the real world and into the realm of myths and legends.

The Grief Keeper by Alexandra Villasante: To have her family’s asylum request accepted, 17-year-old Marisol participates in a risky experiment to become a grief keeper, taking another’s grief into her own body to save a life.

The Healer by Donna Freitas: Manifesting astonishing healing powers that cause some people to consider her a saint, Marlena Oliveria struggles with edicts that prevent her from attending school, having friends and falling in love when she meets a boy who makes her question what she is willing to sacrifice.

Hollywood Witch Hunter by Valerie Tejeda: When a coven bent on retaining their youth must sacrifice the beautiful, and rich women of Southern California, a society of witch hunters will try to protect humans from a great evil uprising.

Incendiary by Zoraida Cordova: As Renata Convida grows more deeply embedded in the politics of the royal court, she uncovers a secret in her past that could change the entire fate of the kingdom–and end a costly war.

Illusionary (Hollow Crown #2) by Zoraida Córdova: Reeling from betrayal, Renata Convida is a girl on the run. With few options and fewer allies, she reluctantly joins forces with none other than Prince Castian, her most infuriating and intriguing enemy.

Infinity Son by Adam Silvera: In the Bronx, two brothers, Emil and Brighton, get caught up in a magical war generations in the making.

Infinity Reaper (Infinity Cycle #2) by Adam Silvera: Emil and Brighton Rey defied the odds. When Brighton drank the Reaper’s Blood, he believed it would make him invincible, but instead the potion is killing him. In Emil’s race to find an antidote that will not only save his brother but also rid him of his own unwanted phoenix powers, he will have to dig deep into his past lives.

Iron Cast by Destiny Soria: In 1919 Boston, best friends Corinne and Ada perform illegally as illusionists in an infamous gangster's nightclub, using their "afflicted" blood to con Boston's elite, until the law closes in.

Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Cordova: Alex is a bruja and the most powerful witch in her family. . When a curse she performs to rid herself of magic backfires and her family vanishes, she must travel to Los Lagos to get her family back.

The Last 8 by Laura Pohl: After an alien attack devastates the Earth, pilot and future astronaut Clover Martinez bands with seven other teens to survive.

Lobizona by Romina Garber: As Manuela Azul uncovers her own story and traces her real heritage all the way back to a cursed city in Argentina, she learns it’s not just her U.S. residency that’s illegal… .it’s her entire existence.

Lost in the Never Woods by Aiden Thomas: When children start to go missing in the local woods, eighteen-year-old Wendy Darling must face her fears and a past she cannot remember to rescue them in this novel based on Peter Pan.

The Mind Virus (Wired #3) by Donna Freitas: Skylar Cruz has managed to shut down the body market that her sister Jude opened, and to create a door to allow App World citizens reentry into the Real World. But as tensions between the newly mingling people escalate, she s not sure if it was the right decision after all. Still reeling from Kit’s betrayal, she s not sure of anything anymore.

Miss Meteor by Tehlor Kay Mejia & Anna-Marie McLemore: Two friends, Lita Perez or Chicky Quintanilla, one made of stardust and one fighting to save her family’s diner, take on their small town’s 50th annual pageant in the hopes that they can change their town’s destiny, and their own.

The Mirror Season by Anna-Marie McLemore: Graciela Cristales meets Lock, a boy who was sexually assaulted at the same party as her, and they find their fates unexpectedly intertwined during a month of vanishing trees, enchanted pan dulce, and inherited magic.

More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera: After enduring his father's suicide, his own suicide attempt, broken friendships, and more in the Bronx projects, Aaron Soto, sixteen, is already considering the Leteo Institute's memory-alteration procedure when his new friendship with Thomas turns to unrequited love.

Never Look Back by Lilliam Rivera: An Afro-Latinx retelling of Orpheus and Eurydice set in the Bronx. Pheus is a bachata-singing dreamer who falls in love with Eury, a girl who lost everything in Hurricane Maria and is haunted by the trauma—and by an evil spirit.

Nocturna by Maya Motayne: In the Latinx-inspired kingdom of Castallan, face-changing thief Finn Voy and grief-stricken Prince Alfehr must race to vanquish a dark magic they have unleashed.

Oculta (A Forgery of Magic #2) by Maya Motayne: After joining forces to save Castallan from an ancient magical evil, Alfie and Finn reunite once again to preserve Castallan’s hopes for peace with Englass. But will they be able to stop sinister foes before a new war threatens their kingdom?

Pitch Dark by Courtney Alameda: Tuck Durante, a shipraider, and Lana Gray, a curator, must work together to try to rescue a space capsule hijacked by nightmarish creatures who kill with a scream.

Rated by Melissa Grey: For the students at the prestigious Maplethorpe Academy, every single thing they do is reflected in their Ratings System. But when an act of vandalism sullies the front doors of the school, it sets off a chain reaction that will shake the lives of six special students – and the world beyond.

Sanctuary by Abby Sher & Paola Mendoza: In a near future dystopian America set 2030, 16-year-old Vail and her brother must escape a xenophobic government to find sanctuary in California.

The Savage Dawn (Girl at Midnight #3) by Melissa Grey: A darkness has entered the world and the Dragon Prince is wreaking havoc wherever she goes. With the war upon her, Echo must use every bit of her firebird powers or risk losing those she holds dear.

Seven Deadly Shadows by Courtney Alameda & Valynne E. Maetani: A contemporary fantasy set in Japan, about Shinto temple priestess Kira Fujikawa, who must seek the aid of seven demons in order to protect her village and the world from an ancient evil.

Shadow City (The City of Diamond and Steel #2) by Francesa Flores: Aina Solís has fought her way to the top of criminal ranks in the city of Kosín by wresting control of an assassin empire owned by her old boss, Kohl. But Kohl will do anything to get his empire back.

The Shadow Hour (The Girl at Midnight #2) by Melissa Grey: With the firebird awakened, the war has become even more dangerous for Echo and her friends. There is a darkness spreading too and staying in hiding might not be enough to keep them alive.

Shadowshaper by Daniel Jose Older: When her summer plans are interrupted by supernatural phenomena, Puerto Rican teen Sierra Santiago finds herself in a battle with the killer targeting her family of shadowshapers who believes she is hiding their greatest secret.

Shadowhouse Fall (Shadowshaper #2) by Daniel Jose Older: While working on her shadowshaping skills, Sierra Santiago is beginning to think she may need all the skill she can summon because it seems that when she channeled hundreds of spirits through herself in order to defeat Wick, she woke up something very powerful and very unfriendly and put her family and friends at risk.

Shadowshaper Legacy (Shadowshaper #3) by Daniel Jose Older: Sierra Santiago and the shadowshapers have been split apart, but a war is brewing among the houses. As old fates tangle with new powers, Sierra will have to harness the Deck of Worlds and confront her family’s past if she has any hope of saving the future and everyone she loves.

Shutter by Courtney Alameda: When a routine assignment goes awry, 17-year-old ghost hunter Micheline Helsing is infected with a curse and on the run, pursued as a renegade agent by her monster-hunting father, with only seven days to exorcise the entity or be destroyed body and soul.

Sia Martinez and the Moonlit Beginning of Everything by Raquel Vasquez Gilliland: A Mexican American teenage girl discovers profound connections between immigration, folklore, and alien life, when a spacecraft crashes in front of her car…and it’s carrying her long-lost mom, who’s very much alive.

Tigers, Not Daughters by Samantha Mabry: Loosely inspired by the story of King Lear and his daughters, set in San Antonio, Texas, following the Torres sisters, struggling to escape their tyrannical father’s claustrophobic world while dealing with the loss of their eldest sister, whose troubling death continues to haunt—perhaps even literally—the loved ones left behind.

Undead Girl Gang by Lily Anderson: While investigating the supposed suicides of her best friend, Riley, and mean girls June and Dayton, 16-year-old Wiccan Mila Flores accidentally brings them back to life.

Unplugged by Donna Freitas: When she moves from the Virtual World to the Real one, Skylar Cruz discovers that her body is both exquisite and valuable -- a dangerous combination in a place where bodies are sought after in sinister ways.

Wayward Witch (Brooklyn Brujas #3) by Zoraida Cordova: Rose Mortiz begins to discover the scope of her powers, the troubling truth about her father’s past, and the sacrifices he made to save her sisters. But if Rose wants to return home so she can repair her broken family, she must figure out how to heal the land of Adas, a fairy realm hidden in the Caribbean Sea, first.

The Weight of Feathers by Anna-Marie McLemore: Although Lace Paloma knows all about the feud between the Palomas and the Corbeaus, she finds herself falling for Cluck Corbeau when he saves her life while both families are performing in the same town.

We Set the Dark on Fire by Tehlor Kay Mejia: When she is asked to spy for a resistance group working to bring equality to Medio, Daniela Vargas, a student at the Medio School for Girls, questions everything she's worked for.

We Unleash the Merciless Storm (We Set the Dark on Fire #2) by Tehlor Kay Mejia: La Voz operative Carmen Santos is forced to choose between the girl she loves, Dani, and the success of the rebellion she’s devoted her life to.

When the Moon Was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore: As odd as everyone considers Miel and Sam, even they stay away from the Bonner girls, four beautiful sisters rumored to be witches. Now they want the roses that grow from Miel's skin, convinced that their scent can make anyone fall in love. And they're willing to use every secret Miel has fought to protect to make sure she gives them up.

Wild Beauty by Anna-Marie McLemore: A novel of magical realism, the Nomeolvides women have tended the lust estate grounds of La Pradera which they’ve grown for generations, until the reemergence of a family curse starts to makes the men they love disappear, again.

#authors of color #latinx authors #booklr #book recs #book recommendations #yalit

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daturanerium · 4 years ago

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i've been thinking about griddlehark recently, especially since i've listened to the gideon audiobook for the first time. i love them lots! but i had forgotten just how terrible harrow was to gideon in the beginning, and how blindly devoted gideon was to harrow (even when they were mortal enemies). i'm not sure if i'd be happy with them becoming canon without completely addressing that, so i'm going to talk about what i would like to see happen in alecto to deal with the power imbalance.

as someone who's been in a very similar position to gideon (being a punching bag to someone i'm devoted to out of love) i can speak from experience when i say that it sucks. i currently do not have much of a relationship with that person anymore, but gideon clearly wants to pursue one with harrow--whether that be platonic or romantic.

right now griddlehark are suffering from a severe power imbalance with harrow coming out on top. even during htn, harrow made choices for gideon without consulting her first or considering how it would affect her (mainly the lobotomy, which clearly bothered gideon based on how she talked about it in act five--or rather, didnt). harrow tormented gideon for her entire life. i feel like people tend to brush over this or treat it as a child's rivalry instead of treating it as it was (or how i read it to be): constant, unrelenting abuse. harrow canonically tried to kill gideon multiple times throughout their childhood. by the time we reach gtn, it almost seems like tormenting gideon is a game for harrow, considering the way she handled gideon's escape attempt. she pulled it away at the very last second for no other reason (that we know of) than to make gideon feel the worst. obviously we know now that harrow is fucked up in her own way. growing up mostly without parents, with incredibly high expectations based around being a literal war crime and the only surviving necromancer in the royal line, she's desperate to find and cling onto any control she can get over anything and anyone. she's gone through an incredible amount of character development within the last two books. i'm a huge fan of that! i think it's very safe to say that harrow cares about gideon as an equal and wants her friendship--the entirety of htn is basically a tragic love letter to her. but that doesn't make the lasting impact of how she acted go away.

on the other hand, gideon has apparently always been devoted to harrow: on page 332 of gtn she says that she was "hungry for the Reverend Daughter's occupation" in her youth, and strongly implies that she endured harrow's ceaseless beatings and torment because it was the only thing gideon received other than people blindly hating her or ignoring her. harrow was fascinated and obsessed with her in a terrible, violent way, but at least it was something. this is, of course, worsened after gideon walks in on harrow after The Incident. that, mixed with the overhanging inherent power imbalance of gideon being harrow's/the locked tomb's indentured servant since birth, means that gideon has never known a life free of harrow's control over her. being devoted to harrow is gideon's norm--she's literally never known anything different. and, on top of that, she's never expected anything in return. hoped, maybe, but never expected. gideon tries to leave but is stopped every time by harrow; the only way gideon is able to experience her first bout of "independence" is through caanan house, which was an opportunity given to her by harrow. harrowhark has been a constant in gideon's life since she was one year old. gideon relied on her for some semblance of normalcy and a twisted form of recognition. gideon goes through a lot of character development in caanan house as well, and we get to watch her and harrow start to deconstruct their corrupted relationship and reform it into something better and healthier. but even then, gideon still ends up making the ultimate sacrifice for "the Ninth": aka harrow, since she states not five pages before that she doesn't actually care about the Ninth at all and is only doing this for her (that is open to interpretation, but i think it's safe to say that gideon's main reason for jumping was to save harrow regardless of how you interpret her last words). later, at the end of htn, gideon still doesn't expect much from harrow in return. "harrowhark, i gave you my whole life and you didn't even want it." comes to mind. it's not about whether or not the statement is true, it's about what gideon believes based on harrow's past actions. the idea of harrow refusing gideon's sacrifice is more believable to her than harrow succumbing to her grief. i'm not even sure if gideon knows about the lobotomy. if someone told her, would she believe them?

so, right now, we have one person desperate for control and the other hopelessly devoted to a fault. both harrow and gideon are far different women now than they were at the beginning of gtn! they're in the middle of their character arcs right now. here's how i would like to see griddlehark rekindle their relationship in a healthy way:

gideon spends a lot of time harrow-free. she learns what life is like without harrow present. she gets to discover herself without harrow there. gideon still cares about harrow, obviously, and will spend time trying to find and reconnect with her. i hope that in the meantime she gets to find herself as an individual! she needs to see that she is more than just "harrow's mortal enemy" or "harrow's cavalier". she is someone outside of her relationship with harrow, whatever that relationship may be. when she reunites with harrow, i hope that it's a choice that gideon makes, not because harrow asks for her.

when reunited, harrow takes full responsibility and accountability for her past actions against gideon. this has sort of happened, but only in the sense of harrow's self-loathing: she gets angry during the pool scene in gtn, but that's based around "i was awful to you, why are you being kind to me"; not really an apology. later, she asks gideon if she forgives her and gideon says yes--but harrow never apologized. in my opinion, no forgiveness is true if there's no apology. i'd like to see harrow fully recognize her past actions--and, more specifically, how they affected gideon. she's focused a lot on how they impacted herself, but even in the pool scene (as much as i love it) gideon's feelings were mostly sidelined. by harrow taking accountability, both of them can continue their path to healing and growing their relationship. (also, harrow Officially releasing gideon from her duty to the locked tomb as an indentured servant would be really nice. i know with everything going on it's technically moot but i think it would still mean a lot, especially on the road to equalizing their relationship)

gideon and harrow acting as equal partners! we caught the beginnings of this in the second half (especially the end) of gtn, but they haven't really had a chance to flesh (heh) it out since. i'm really looking forward to that!

i really love these characters. they're some of my favorites, ever--and that's saying something, because i've read a lot of books. harrow especially has had some of the most enjoyable character development i've read in a long time. we're in the middle of the series and there's still lots of loose ends to tie up! i just hope this is one of them.

#i'm nervous to post this lollllllll #i'm open to discussion!#also just in case this wasn't clear i LOVE harrow so much. this is definitely not harrow h*te. just ~nuance~.#the locked tomb #griddlehark #harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth spoilers

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vickyvicarious · 3 years ago

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Leverage Redemption Pros/Cons List

Okay! Now that I've finally finished watching the first half of Leverage: Redemption, I thought I'd kind of sum up my overall impression. Sort of a pro/con list, except a little more just loosely structured rambles on each bullet point rather than a simple list.

This got way out of hand from what I expected so I'm going to put it all under a cut. If you want the actual bulletpoint list, here it is:

PROS

References

Continuity

Nate

Representation

Themes

New Characters

General Vibe

CONS

'Maker and Fixer'

Episode Twins

Sophie's Stagefright

Thiefsome

You might notice the pros list is longer, and that's because I do love the show! I really like most of what it does, and my gripes are fewer in number and mostly smaller in size. But they do exist and I felt like talking about them as well as the stuff I loved.

PROS

References

There is clearly so much love and respect for the original show here. Quite aside from the general situation, there's a lot of references to individual episodes or character traits from the first show. For example, Parker's comments on disliking clowns, liking puppets, disliking horses, stabbing vs. tasing people. The tasing was an ongoing thing in the original, the stabbing happened once (S1) but was referenced later in the original show, the clown thing only had a few mentions scattered across the entire original show. The puppet thing was mentioned once in S5, and the horses thing in particular was only brought up in S1 once. But they didn't miss the chance to put the nod to it in there; in fact with those alone we see a good mix of common/ongoing jokes and smaller details.

We got "dammit Hardison" and "it's a very distinctive..." but also Eliot and Parker arguing about him catering a mob wedding, and Eliot being delighted by lemon as a secret ingredient in a dish in that same episode (another reference to the mob episode). Hardison and Eliot banter about "plan M", an ongoing joke starting from the very first episode of the original show. We see Sophie bring up Hardison's accent in the Ice Job, Parker also makes reference to an early episode when describing "backlash effect" to Breanna, in an episode that also references her brother slightly if you look for it.

Heck, the last episode of these first eight makes a big deal out of nearly reproducing the iconic opening lines of the original show with Fake Nate's "we provide... an advantage." And I mean, all the "let's go steal a ___" with Harry being confused about how to use them.

Some of the lines are more obviously references to the original show, but they strike a decent balance with smaller or unspoken stuff as well, and also mix in some references between the team to events we the audience have never seen. If someone was coming into this show for the first time, they wouldn't get all the easter egg joy but most of the references would stand on their own as dialogue anyway. In general, I think they struck a good balance of restating needed context for new viewers while still having enough standalone good lines and more-fun-if-you-get-it callbacks.

Continuity

Similar to the last point, but slightly different. The characters' development from the original to now is shown so well. I'm not going to go on about this too long, but the writers clearly didn't want to let the original characters stagnate during the offscreen years. There was a lot of real thought put into how they would change or not.

It's really written well. We can see just how cohesive a team Parker, Hardison, and Eliot became. We get a sense of how they've spent their time, and there's plenty of evidence that they remained incredibly close with Sophie and Nate until this past year. The way everyone defers to Parker is different from the original show and clearly demonstrates how she's been well established as the leader for years now - they show this well even as Parker is stepping back to let Sophie take point in these episodes. Eventually that is actually called out by Sophie in the eighth episode, so we might see more mastermind Parker in the back half of the show, maybe. But even with her leading, it's clear how collaborative the team has become, with everyone bouncing ideas off one another and adding their input freely. Sometimes they even get so caught up they leave the newbies completely in the dust. But for the most part we get a good sense of how the Parker/Hardison/Eliot team worked with her having final say on plans but the others discussing everything together. A little bit more collaborative than it was with Nate at the helm.

Meanwhile Sophie has built a home and is deeply attached to it. She and Nate really did retire, at least for the most part, and she was living her happy ending until he died. She's out of practice but still as skilled as ever, and we're shown how much her grief has changed her and how concerned the others are for her.

There's a lot of emphasis on how they all look after one another and the found family is clearer than ever. Sophie even calls Hardison "his father's son" - clearly referring to Nate.

Nate

Speaking of Nate! They handled his loss so, so well. His story was the most complete at the end of the last show, and just from a narrative point, losing him makes the most sense of all the characters. But the way he dies and his impact on the show and the characters continues. It's very respectful to who he was - who he truly was.

Nate was someone they all loved, but he was a deeply flawed individual. Sophie talks about how he burned too hot, but at least he burned - possibly implying to me that his drinking was related to his death. In any case, there's no mystery to it. We don't know how he died but that's not what's most important about his death. This isn't a quest for revenge or anything... it's just a study of grief and trying to heal.

Back to who he really was real quick - the show doesn't eulogize him as better than he was. They're honest about him. From the first episode's toast they raise in his memory, to the final episode where Sophie and Eliot are deeply confused by Fake Nate singing his praises, the team knows who he was. They don't erase his flaws... but at the same time he was so clearly theirs. He was family, he was the man they trusted and loved and followed into incredibly dangerous situations, and whose loss they all still feel deeply.

That said, the show doesn't harp on this point. They reference him, but they don't overwhelm new viewers with a constant barrage of Nate talk. It always serves a purpose, primarily for Sophie's storyline of moving through her grief. Anyway, @robinasnyder said all of this way better than me here, so go read that as well.

Representation

Or should I say, Jewish Hardison, Autistic Parker, Queer Breanna!

Granted, Hardison's religion isn't quite explicitly stated to be Jewish so much as he mentions that his "Nana runs a multi-denominational household", but nonetheless. He gets the shows big thesis statement moment, he gets a beautiful speech about redemption that is the emotional cornerstone of that episode and probably Harry's entire arc throughout the show. And while I'm not Jewish myself, most of what I've seen from Jewish fans is saying that Hardison's words here were excellent representation of their beliefs. (@featherquillpen does a great job in that meta of contextualizing this with his depiction in the original show as well.)

Autistic Parker, however, is shown pretty dang blatantly. She already was very much coded as autistic in the original show, but the reboot has if anything gone further. She sees a child psychologist because she likes using puppets to represent emotions, she stims, she uses cue cards and pre-written scripts for social interactions, there's mention of possible texture sensitivity and her clothes are generally more loose and comfortable. She's gotten better at performing empathy and understanding how people typically work, but it's specifically described as something she learned how to do and she views her brain as being different from ones that work that way (same link). Again, not autistic myself but from what I've seen autistic fans find a lot to relate to in her portrayal. And best of all, this well-rounded and respectful depiction does not show any of these qualities as a lack on her part. There's no more of those kinda ableist comments or "what's wrong with you" jokes that were in the original show. Parker is the way she is, and that allows her to do things differently. She's loved for who she is, and any effort made to fit in is more just to know how so that she can use it to her advantage when she wants to on the job - for her convenience, not others' comfort.

Speaking of loved for who you are.... okay, again, queer Breanna isn't confirmed onscreen yet, and I don't count Word of God as true canon. But I can definitely believe we're building there. Breanna dresses in a very GNC way, and just her dialogue and, I dunno, vibes seem very queer to me. She has a beautiful speech in the Card Game Job about not belonging or being accepted and specifically mentions "the way they love" as one of those things that made her feel like she didn't belong. And that scene is given so much weight and respect. (Not to mention other hints throughout the episode about how much finding her own space meant to her.) Also, the whole theme of feeling rejected and the key for her to begin really flourishing is acceptance for who she is, not any desire for her to be anyone else, is made into another big moment. Yeah, textually that moment is about her feeling like she has to fill Hardison's shoes and worrying about her past, but the themes are there, man.

Themes

I talked a bit about this yesterday, so I'm mostly just going to link to that post, but... this series so far is doing a really good job in my opinion of giving people arcs and having some good themes. Namely the redemption one, from Hardison's speech (which I'm gonna talk a little more about in the next point), and this overall theme of growing up and looking to the future (from above the linked post).

New Characters

Harry and Breanna are fantastic characters. I was kind of worried about Harry being a replacement Nate, but... he really isn't. Sure, he's the older white guy who has an angsty past but it's in a very different way and his personality and relationships with the rest of the crew are correspondingly different. I think the dynamic of a very friendly, cheerful, kind, but still bad guy (as @soundsfaebutokay points out) is a great one to show, and he's got a really cool arc I think of learning to be a better person, and truly understanding Hardison's point about redemption being a process not a goal. His role on the team also has some interesting applications and drawbacks, as @allegorymetaphor talked about. I've kind of grown to think that the show is gradually building up to an eventual Sophie/Harry romance a ways down the line, and I'm actually here for it. Regardless, his relationships with everyone are really interesting.

As for Breanna, first of all and most importantly I love her. Secondly, I think she's got a really interesting story. She's a link to Hardison's past, and provides a really interesting perspective for us as someone younger who has grown up a) looking up to Leverage and b) in a bleaker and more hopeless world. Breanna's not an optimist, and she's not someone who was self-sufficient and unconcerned with the rest of the world at the start, like everyone else. She believes that the world sucks and she wants it to be better, but she doesn't know how to make that happen. She outright says she's desperate and that's why she's working with Leverage. At the same time, Breanna is pretty down on herself and wants to prove herself but gets easily shaken by mistakes or being scolded, which is a stark contrast to Hardison's general self-confidence. There are several times when she starts to have an idea then hesitates to share it, or expects her emotions to be dismissed, or gets really disheartened when she's corrected or rejected, or dwells on her mistakes, or when she is accepted or praised she usually takes a surprised beat and is shy about it (she almost always looks down and away from the person, and her smile is often small or startled). Breanna looks up to the team so much (Parker especially, then probably Eliot) and she wants to prove herself. It's going to be so good to see her grow.

General Vibe

A brief note, but it seems a fitting one to end on. The show keeps it's overall tone and feeling from the original show. The fun, the competency porn, the bad guys and clever plans and happy endings. It's got differences for sure, but the characters are recognizably themselves and the show as a whole is recognizably still Leverage. For the most part they just got the feeling right, and it's really nice.

CONS (no, not that kind)

'Maker and Fixer'

So when I started writing this meta earlier today, I was actually a lot more annoyed by the lack of unique 'maker' skills being shown by Breanna. Basically the only time she tries to use a drone, the very thing she introduced herself as being good at, it breaks instantly. I was concerned about her being relegated into just doing what Hardison did, instead of bringing her own stuff to the table. But the seventh episode eased some of those fears, and the meta I just wrote for someone else asking about Breanna's 'maker' skills as shown this season made me realize there's more nuance than that. I'd still like to have seen more of that from her, but for now the fact that we don't see a lot of 'maker' from her so far seems more like a character decision based in Breanna's insecurities.

Harry definitely gets more 'inside man' usage. His knowledge as a 'fixer' comes in handy several times. Nonetheless, I'm really curious if there are any bigger ways to use it, aside from him just adding in some exposition/insight from time to time. I'm not even entirely sure how much more they can pull from this premise in terms of relevant skills, but I hope there's more and I'd like to see it. Maybe a con built more around him playing a longer role playing his old self, like they tried in the Tower Job? Maybe it's more a matter of him needed distance from that part of his past, being unable to face it without lashing out - in that case it could be a good character growth moment possibly for him to succeed in being Scummy Lawyer again down the line? I dunno.

Episode Twins

This was something small that kind of bothered me a little earlier in the season. It's kind of the negative side to the references, I guess? And I'm not even sure how much it annoys me really, but I just kinda noticed and felt sort of weird about it.

Rollin' on the River has a lot of references/callbacks to the The Wedding Job.

The Tower Job has a lot of references/callbacks to The White Rabbit Job.

The Paranormal Hacktivity Job has a lot of references/callbacks to the Future Job.

I guess I was getting a little concerned that there would be a 'match this episode' situation where almost every new Redemption episode is very reminiscent of an old one. I love the callbacks, but I don't want to see a lack of creativity in this new show, and this worried me for a minute. Especially when it was combined with all three of those episodes dealing with housing issues of some kind. Now, that's a huge concern for a lot of people, and each episode has its own take on a different problem within that huge umbrella, but it still got me worried about a lack of variety in topics/cases.

The rest of the episodes failing to line up so neatly in my head with older episodes helped a lot to ease this one, though. Still, this is my complaining section so I figured I'd express my concerns as they were at the time. Even if I no longer really worry about it much.

Sophie's Stagefright

Yeah, I know this is just a small moment in a single episode, but it annoyed me! Eliot made a bit of a face at Sophie going onstage, but I thought it was just him being annoyed at the general situation. However, they started out with her being awful up there until she realized the poem was relevant to the con - at which point her reading got so much better.

This felt like a complete betrayal of Sophie's beautiful moment at the end of the original show where she got over her trouble with regular acting and played Lady Macbeth beautifully in front of a full theater of audience members. This was part of the con, but only in the sense that it gave her an alibi/place to hide, and I always interpreted it as her genuinely getting over her stagefright problems. It felt like such a beautiful place to end her arc for that show, especially after all her time spent directing.

Now, her difficulty onstage in the Card Game Job was brief and at the very beginning of being up on stage. @rinahale suggested to me that maybe it was a deliberate tactic to draw the guy's attention, and the later skill was simply her shifting focus to make the sonnet easier for Breanna to listen to and interpret, but he seemed more enraptured when she was doing well than otherwise in my opinion and it just doesn't quite sit well with me. My other theory was that maybe she just hasn't been up on stage in a long time, and much like she complaining about being rusty at grifting before the team pushed her into trying, she got nervous for a moment at the very beginning. The problem there is that I think she'd definitely still get involved in theater even when she and Nate were retired. I guess she could've quit after he died, and a year might be long enough to make her doubt herself again, but... still.

I just resent that they even left it ambiguous at all. Sophie's skills should be solid on stage at this point in my opinion.

Thiefsome

...And now we come to my main complaint. This is, by far, the biggest issue I have with the show.

I feel like I should put a disclaimer here that I had my doubts from the beginning about the thiefsome becoming canon onscreen. I thought the famous "the OT3 is safe" tweet could easily just mean that they are all still alive and well, or all still working together, without giving us confirmation of a romantic relationship. Despite this, the general fandom expectations/hopes really got to me, especially with the whole "lock/pick/key" thing. I tried to temper my expectations again when the character descriptions came out and only mentioned Hardison loving Parker, not Eliot, but I still got my hopes up.

The thing is, I was disappointed pretty quickly.

The very first episode told me that in all likelihood we would never see Hardison and Parker and Eliot together in a romantic sense. Oh, there was so much coding. So much hinting. So much in the way of conversations that were about Parker/Hardison's relationship but then Eliot kept getting brought into them. They were portrayed as a unit of three.

But then there was this.

I love all of those scenes of Parker and Hardison being intimate and loving and comfortable with one another and their relationship. I really do. But it didn't escape my notice that there's nothing of the sort with Eliot. If they wanted a canon onscreen thiefsome, it would by far make the most sense to just have it established from the start. But there aren't any scenes where Eliot shares the same kind of physical closeness with either of them like they do each other. Parker and Hardison kiss; he doesn't kiss anyone. They have several clearly romantic conversations when alone; he gets important conversations with both but the sense of it being romantic isn't there.

Establishing Eliot as part of the relationship after Hardison is gone just... doesn't make any sense. It would be more likely to confuse new viewers, to make them wonder if Parker is cheating on Hardison with Eliot, or if they have a Y shaped relationship rather that a triangle. It would be so much clumsier.

Still, up until the Double-Edged-Sword Job I believed the writers might keep it at this level of 'plausible hinting but not quite saying'. There's a lot of great stuff with all of them, and I never expecting making out or whatever anyway; a cheek-kiss was about the height of my hopes to be honest. I mostly just hoped for outright confirmation and, failing that, I was happy enough to have the many hints and implications.

But then Marshal Maria Shipp came along. And I don't really have anything against her as a character - in fact, I think she has interesting story potential and will definitely come back. But the episode framed her fight with Eliot as a sexyfight TM, much like his fight with Mikel back in the day. And then his flirting with her rode the line a little of "he's playing her for the con" and "he's genuinely flirting." The scene where he tells her his real name is particularly iffy, but actually was the one that convinced me he was playing her. Because he seems to be watching her really closely, and to be very concerned about her figuring out who he really is. I am very aware though that I'm doing a lot of work to interpret it the way I want. On surface appearance, Eliot's just flirting with an attractive woman, like he did on the last show. And that's probably the intention, too.

But the real nail in the coffin for me was when Sophie compared herself and Nate to Eliot and Maria. That was a genuine scene, not the continuation of the teasing from before. And Sophie is the one whose insight into people is always, always trustworthy. She is family to the thiefsome. For this to make any sense, either Eliot/Parker/Hardison isn't a thing, or they are and Sophie doesn't know - and I can't imagine why in the hell she wouldn't know.

Any argument to make them still canon leaves me unsatisfied. If she knows and they haven't admitted it to her - why wouldn't they, after all this time? Why would she not have picked up on it even without an outright announcement? Some people suggested they wouldn't admit it because they thought Nate would be weird about it, but that doesn't seem any more in character to me than the other possibilities. In fact, the only option that doesn't go against my understanding of these people and their observational abilities/the close relationship they share.... is that the thiefsome is not a thing.

And furthermore, the implication of this conversation - especially the way it ended, with Eliot stomping off looking embarrassed while Sophie smiled knowingly - is that Eliot will get into another relationship onscreen. Maybe not a full-blown romantic relationship. But the Maria Shipp tension is going to be resolved somehow, and at this point I'm half-expecting a hook-up simply because of Sophie's reaction and how much I trust her judgement of such things. Even if she's letting her grief cloud her usual perceptiveness... it feels iffy.

It just kinda feels like I wasn't even allowed to keep my "interpret these hints/maybe they are" thiefsome that I expected after the first couple episodes convinced me we wouldn't get outright confirmation. (I mean, I will anyway, and I love the hints and allusions regardless.) And while I'm definitely not the kind of fan who is dependent on canon for my ships, and still enjoy all their interactions/will keep right on headcanoning them all in a relationship, it's just.... a bummer.

Feels like a real cop-out. Like the hints of Breanna being queer are enough to meet their quota and they won't try anything 'risky' like a poly relationship. I dunno. It's annoying.

That's the end of the list! Again, overall I love the new show a lot and have few complaints.

#leverage #leverage redemption #leverage spoilers #leverage meta #my meta #this turned into a BIG ol ramble #i planned to write like a couple of sentences for each point but noooo

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interact-if · 4 years ago

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Day 10, 2/2 of the A/PI Heritage Month featured authors interview! For our final entry, we have the amazing Shai!

Shai, author of Hollowed Minds

A/PI Heritage Month Feature Author

“You will play as a disgraced detective, entangled in webs of conspiracies and betrayal as your character engages in a suspicious probation - with a whole lot of enigmatic hallucinations and explosions to deal with. It will be up to you to shape your detective’s (or Ripper’s, if you prefer to call them that) perception and motivations. After all, Gaile City is a place full of secrets - some of them belonging to your own character’s family - and you’ll have the freedom how to act accordingly.”

Author's Kofi

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

To put it simply, Hollowed Minds is a long quest on morality and relationships. You'll start as a disgraced detective, once a favored hero of the city until this one unfortunate mistake, and now you're forced into a suspicious probation that you shouldn't even be in. There would be a lot of challenges and suffering along the way, and you can either help your character maintain their heroic ideals or succumb to the darkness that the future brings.

Q1: First of all, introduce us to your project! What is it about?

There are a lot of things to uncover in the story, but the main issues in the first book would be the mysterious hallucinations that people are suffering from and the explosions that would shake the fundamentals of the society. There would be several approaches to choose from as you go forward, some of which may be quite outside the law, and you could opt to use a certain ‘talent’—one with accompanying repercussions—to learn more secrets. You would also have the choice to cultivate your relationships with the people you trust the most and have your interactions with them matter in the long run.

As it is, you'd have a large target on your back, owing to a sinister group with a very sinister plan—something that might be worse than death.

Q2: If it’s not too spoilery, what are you most excited about your project?

First of all, the reputation system. You can manipulate how the general public would see you, either as the hero they once saw you as, or a corrupted personality that everyone would loathe. Best thing about it? You can hide your real intentions. This would have a lot of interesting consequences, especially if your character's actions tend to be the opposite of what they're perceived as.

Second, the most awaited reunion. People who have read the available demo would know what this refers to, and well, it's about to happen soon, so I'm very excited about the idea of writing the whole scene!

Then there's this one big chapter that I know would be torturous to write and code. Basically, you'll be choosing how to 'infiltrate' this certain location, the person whom you'd be with most of the time, a decision between accomplishing what you came there for or sacrificing it for something else, how you'd get out, and where you'd go to after the whole thing. It will be a wild ride of twists and emotions, and it's not even the endgame. A lot may change with this chapter alone, and it's one of those things I think about a lot before going to sleep.

Lastly, the customization of the main character. The motivations, blame mechanic, alcoholic/non-alcoholic option, and relationships (romantic or not). Those little details would change a lot of content in the narrative and maybe in the plot itself. Whether you want to build a character who's kind to a fault or an anti-hero who wouldn't hesitate to make questionable decisions, the journey would be entirely yours.

Q3: What inspired the current project you’re working on?

It was based from a short story of mine that won a small competition back in 2018. They share similar themes, but the short story was a lot darker than I could ever put in a game that I plan to get published.

I initially thought of starting my IF writing attempts with the supernatural genre—it does seem to be a successful area—but that short story was probably the first piece of mine that I've come to appreciate, and I wanted to at least honor that. The writing style that I adopted, the evocative tone I learned to use, and the plot pieces that I've managed to be good at crafting—they all started with that story.

Looking back, there aren't much similarities anymore between the two, maybe aside from the appearance of certain characters, but the themes are still the same.

It will definitely be a huge challenge to implement what I have on mind, but I do hope people would love what's to come.

Q4: Do you pull from your own identity for inspiration? How has that been reflected in your work?

I grew up in a troublesome neighborhood, along with people who continue to fight against the struggles. That's both good and bad, I suppose. Philippines has a lot of corruption deep in its roots, I won't deny that, but there are also people working hard for the changes they want. That's one of the biggest influences I've got in this story.

As we delve into the plot, the readers would discover more questionable decisions that some characters may have made or would make. It's parallel to how I witnessed people having differing reactions to injustice and the way they make changes in their lives as a response. Adding to that, I personally know the feeling of grief, and I’ve seen how the people around me deal with it themselves.

There are also moral choices to be had in the game, and when I speak of that, it's not going to be just around choosing between saving/killing people. It's about the main character's intentions and emotions, and how the revelations might slowly change their views. It would be a story that will steadily define your character’s perceptions amid the threats.

Q5: What’s been your experience so far? With writing, with the if community...

It's been great. I appreciate the people who have reached out in various ways to share their love for my work and to give meaningful feedback that are continuously helping me shape the story in a better way. And honestly, I'm so overwhelmed with excitement for all the support I'm getting. I didn't even expect a lot of people to like the story this early. That's why I'm so thankful!

There's also a great IF author whom I've been occasionally getting advice from, and they've been a huge reason as to why I even managed to make the first steps. Interacting with other writers is something that I never really expected myself to do, but I’m quite glad I did it.

Q6: Do you have any future projects in the works?

There are three more interactive fiction stories I've already thought of, though I won't be actively working on them until I finish the Hollowed Minds series, which would take a long while. Their temporary titles are respectively "Corrupted Legacies" (fantasy), "The Remnant's Keeper" (supernatural horror), and "A Hero's Touch" (superhero story with a twist).

Aside from that, I'm also looking forward to finishing my fantasy novel, one that I've been delaying for years, literally, as soon as I finish the first book of Hollowed Minds.

Q7: Finally, what piece of advice would you give to fellow authors?

Write what you want to write. I know that you're all probably tired of hearing this, but it is still very important. During the planning stages, you'd most likely be excited to show the readers what you've got in store. You'd be proud of it, and you'd believe that it's one of the most brilliant ideas out there. Then a few days after you finish planning, you'll realize it may not attract as much readers as you may have expected initially. Then you'll get tempted to change your visions for the story and adopt the plot lines that the famous works have.

Do not abandon your own vision.

It's your work. It's your masterpiece. Listen to feedback, sure, and let them guide you into becoming a better writer, but do not let go of the things that made your work your own. Some way or another, there will be people who would love your story, and they'd deeply appreciate that you made it the way it is.

So don't hesitate. Is it weird? Is it unconventional? Does it belong to a genre that's not as popular as the others? It doesn't matter. Write it, polish it, and show it to the world.

People will love it as long as you do.

#if: events #Happy Asian and Pacific Islander month!!#Asian/pacific islander month 2021 #a/pi month #a/pi month 2021 #aapiheritagemonth #aapi month #interactive fiction #authors of color

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sepublic · 4 years ago

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Amelia’s Alzheimer’s?

From what Owen Dennis told us, Book 5 of Infinity Train would’ve been a movie, covering Amelia’s takeover of the train… Which, I don’t know if Book 5 would’ve gone over her takeover, AND her eventual arc post-Book 3, but; I believe the implication is that like Book 4, this movie would’ve been a pure prequel, set in the past. A good look and further contextualization of Amelia’s past sins and how she got into the headspace she now has, in order to set up for a future Book where she finally gets her proper arc.

That leaves just three other books… One about Guilt, the next about Revenge, and the last of Acceptance. Book 5 is about Grief fittingly enough, and we know that Book 8 (Acceptance) would’ve delved into a passenger with alzheimer’s, whose condition would’ve kept them from engaging with the Infinity Train’s intended function properly. Owen Dennis mentioned how this final season would’ve been based on his own experiences with his grandfather, who had a similar issue in the past.

It’s easy to assume that Book 8 would’ve been about a whole new character, which leaves either Books 6 or 7 for the resolution to Amelia’s arc- But what if that’s not the case? The Book 8 protagonist would be pretty old, presumably, so…

…What if Amelia was the Book 8 protagonist? What if, by the end of the series, Amelia’s age would’ve caught up to her, and she’d start developing alzheimer’s- Further complicating her attempts to get her number down, especially when she can no longer remember Alrick like she used to!

Think about it- Amelia as the final protagonist would be a neat book-end to the series, given how we began with her as the final antagonist of Book 1. The show starts and ends with Amelia, who alongside One-One and Samantha the Cat (and arguably Randall) are basically the core, central tenet characters of the entire show. The resolution of Infinity Train is the resolution of Amelia, who serves as the passenger most entwined with the train, having once been its conductor even!

Not only that, but with how Amelia’s character serves as a means of criticizing and showing the fallibility of the Infinity Train, how she’s able to game the system, how she works in a place to criticize One-One’s direction with it… And her having to deal with alzheimer’s could continue that theme of Amelia’s character being a commentary on the flaws of the Infinity Train, if it can’t account for her memory loss!

Amelia’s memory loss would be difficult to work with, if we’d only gotten to know her in just Book 8; But now we have Books 1, 3, 4, and 5 (at the very least!) to bring background and context to her life-story, and it’s a LONG one too! Setting up Amelia’s past in great detail, going into the intricacies across the entire show… It could be setting up the audience to remember all of this, when Amelia herself can’t- So we can get a better idea of her frustration, of how she ended up here when Amelia herself is confused, etc.! We gain a deep and intimate understanding of Amelia’s past for her, in preparation for the memory loss of Book 8.

Owen talking about how Book 8 would’ve been based on his own experiences, watching his grandfather deal with amnesia- From a meta sense, the audience could serve Owen’s role! We’re the younger people, watching Amelia, our favorite old lady, grow across the series… We get attached to her, she’s basically like family, so naturally it hits harder to see her lose her memory. It’d be a meta way for Owen to really capture what he experienced in real life, by having the audience take his position when observing the character of Amelia.

From an in-universe standpoint, perhaps Hazel could serve as the proxy for Owen! She’s more or less Amelia’s daughter in the technical and arguably figurative sense- We don’t know exactly how their relationship would progress, and the last time we had hopes of Found Family for Hazel, it didn’t quite work out… But regardless. Perhaps Hazel, as a kid with relation to the older Amelia, would’ve gotten to grow up with her surrogate caretaker, learn to value and appreciate her and vice-versa; And then we see from Hazel’s pained perspective, the loss of Amelia’s memories. Perhaps Amelia losing her memories of her times with Hazel, even!

This could tie Amelia and Hazel’s stories together, especially with how linked the two are, with Hazel resulting from Amelia’s failed attempts to bring back Alrick! And Hazel has a few of Amelia’s memories- She remembers taking ballroom dance lessons, because Amelia was drawing upon those memories when trying to recreate Alrick. Hazel could serve as a young guide to comfort Amelia, a genuinely emotional connection, someone who remembers what Amelia can’t, in the absence of Alrick.

Book 8 would’ve been about Acceptance- AKA the final part of the 5 stages of Grief, when dealing with the death of a loved one… And Grief is the theme of Book 5, Amelia’s origin story! Amelia would accept the death of Alrick at the end of Book 8, and perhaps Hazel could learn to accept the death of Tuba and another family member in Amelia… In the sense that yes, Amelia is leaving her too- But Hazel will learn to move past Tuba’s death, and perhaps her own experience can help Amelia as well. They can grieve for Amelia’s memories, for Alrick, etc.

It’d also be an interesting and frustrating challenge for Amelia- As someone who no doubt has at least some pride in her intellect and mind, having her own mind start to degrade… It’d really put her into an interesting headspace, and force Amelia into that acceptance of what is inevitable, that some things she really can’t change. And of course, this could deal with theme of acceptance, of how Amelia clings to her past with Alrick; Having her memories of him start to fade could really shake this up, and force her to re-evaluate her life and values, her priorities… Perhaps decide to instead focus on the Now and Future, accepting that her past with Alrick is not only long-gone, but possibly due to be forgotten. That she can love and appreciate what it did for her, but Amelia has no choice but to move on- Even without those memories, without that past, she still has a future with Hazel and everyone else to keep living for.

For all we know, Samantha the Cat could even come into play here! She’s someone with access to people’s tapes, among them none other than Amelia’s- And before she gave it to Simon, Samantha also had the ability to create new tapes from passengers on the go. Samantha is a long-lived denizen, at least about 150+ years old, she’s lived and seen the entirety of Amelia’s reign, and was likely there since the very beginning; Owen Dennis did allude to Samantha being present in Book 5… Specifically, he suggested that us seeing Samantha kill someone was a possibility, amidst One-One or Amelia committing murder instead; And that of course suggests that, regardless of whether or not the Cat kills someone in Book 5, she’d still be a prevalent character.

Samantha having that past with Amelia, and her own conniving nature, could possibly lead to her conflicting with Hazel, perhaps recounting memories differently, or trying to tell them in a way that’d sway Amelia to her side, who knows? It’s also worth noting that she’s someone who has regret and loss in Simon… So perhaps if she served as a central cast member for Book 8 (befitting my point about Amelia being a book-ends kind of character), Samantha would’ve learned to accept the death of Simon, and/or help Hazel and Amelia move on as well. It’d be a fitting and appropriate farewell, I believe, to have Amelia and Samantha, two main-stays since the beginning, have their arc at the very end of the series.

And Hazel? Hazel could be representative of a new generation, to step up and take the mantle passed down. One-One’s own input would be fascinating, because like Samantha and Hazel, he has quite the past with Amelia, and a lot of significance and understanding of her sins. And with his control of the Infinity Train, I can see him attempt to recreate Amelia’s destroyed tape, or even try to create a new tape for her, to try and get around Amelia’s memory loss. The Infinity Train selectively deciding which memories it only thinks are important could lead to disagreement with One-One and conflict, exposing the flaws of the system- And/or, the Infinity Train might come across a roadblock because it can’taccess Amelia’s memories anymore!

This could be a culmination for One-One’s arc as well, as seeing his failure to account and accommodate Amelia’s alzheimer’s, leads him to decide to make MAJOR reforms to the Infinity Train as a result! Maybe he’ll even stop the whole process of kidnapping passengers (while still letting the denizens function and roam freely). Him and Amelia have an unusual, kind of at-odds but not really, sort of frenemy relationship; They’re working together, they’ve been enemies, they’ve collaborated, each was the reigning conductor at one point. We could have Samantha as someone with negative recollections of her time with Amelia, One-One with overall netural ones, and Hazel with positive associations! Three different people with different pasts and interactions with Amelia, to provide their own input on their time with her, and thus help her rediscover her past…

…Or, at the very least- Come to terms and accept who she is, and finally move on. And, it goes without saying that Amelia’s dilemma with her huge number could be complicated by her Alzheimer’s, if she can’t remember things- And it’d be interesting to see how it might fluctuate, if at all. Perhaps Amelia’s progress actually gets pretty good, but THEN the memory loss begins to kick in, and that frustrates her. It’d teach the lesson that progress is not linear, that sometimes you might backtrack, you might think you’re so close, only to have retread the same path… And sometimes you’re tired of the journey and just want to get to the destination, to the final stop at the end of the railroad. We could have Amelia learn to accept help from others, to not try and seize control for herself as all-powerful Conductor, to gain some humility amidst her pride in her own ability and intellect…

We could have Amelia awkwardly navigate the train without her memories, stumbling across and slowly figuring out what needs to be done in order to lower her number, with just the number’s movement as an indicator, and no memories to work off of! Her only hints are whenever her number moves to a certain situation, so Amelia really has to work backwards… Through trial and error, figure out what needs to be done; Perhaps a callback to Grace and Simon, who had no guidance and struggled with figuring out what their numbers expected of them.

It’d be an interesting book-end to THAT point, especially since it was Amelia who unknowingly contributed to Grace misinterpreting the function of her number, so then having Amelia rectify this with herself, learning to properly figure out what her number means, and then accepting that without going into denial like Simon did… It’d really show the growth of her, but also the series, and of course the fact that Grace and Simon were literal kids, and Amelia is a seasoned adult. And of course, there’s the existential questions, if Amelia is a different person without her memories, if those sins still apply if she can’t remember them anymore, if she’s essentially disconnected and detached, etc.

We might see Amelia operate without any memories of her grief with Alrick, see how she is without that- And it might concern and frustrate Amelia, because she could conflate moving past Alrick, as being the same as getting rid of him truly… And the memory loss certainly doesn’t help. Who is she without her memories? It could lead to an identity crisis that echoes back to Book 2’s themes. Amelia without memories might learn to rediscover herself by looking into her past, perhaps existing without recollection, just this number she slowly figures out how to lower. Perhaps having a new, more detached/objective look at her own past, from a perspective as someone who doesn’t remember them, so it feels like the recollections of a stranger- It might contribute to Amelia really coming to terms with happened, with herself, and finally Acceptance.

It really could be the culmination of the series; With how the age of protagonists for each Book gets progressively older, Amelia’s elderly age and Alzheimer’s would’ve been the end of the line, the final stop/destination for the train. It’d make Amelia the central Passenger of the show, who we’ve been following since Book 1, watching her progress, in a sense seeing her grow up- And then finally seeing her grow old and suffer from Alzheimer’s. The journey of the Infinity Train could be the journey of Amelia, from her boarding the train, to the final destination, literally and figuratively. It could tie into the arcs of Hazel, Samantha, and One-One, and finally deconstruct the Infinity Train with an outsider who did exactly like that!

What do you guys think? I think it’d be quite the experience to watch Amelia grow and struggle as a person, so it really does feel personal and intimate to us, when we know her memories, only for Amelia herself to lose them... A fascinating, bittersweet study and journey of Amelia, but one we accept, because the journey made the destination worthwhile.

#infinity train #infinity train amelia #amelia hughes #infinity train hazel #infinity train one one #infinity train samantha #samantha the cat #speculation #theory #meta #infinity train book 8 #owen dennis #alzheimer's

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gureishi · 4 years ago

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I love reading your opinions on Saeyoung! I know I’ve thought about this in regards to Zen so I’m curious what your headcanons are in regards to Saeyoung’s future relationships post game with each member of the RFA and Vanderwood??

Ohhhh, thank you for this wonderful question, dear Lea! The characters’ relationships with one another vary so much depending on the route and the timeline. Even though it makes me sad (because of the glaring absence of one beloved character), I’ll write these for the SE timeline.

Headcanon: Saeyoung’s relationships with RFA+Vanderwood post-game

Yoosung

Saeyoung and Yoosung’s relationship is endlessly fascinating to me. They’re close—they’d both tell you that, if you asked—but their friendship in the game is actually very surface-level. Saeyoung keeps Yoosung at arm’s-length, and Yoosung honestly has too much going on in his own head to devote much energy to trying to break down those walls.

The fight they have toward the end of Saeyoung’s route is a huge turning point for both of them. Yoosung is genuinely hurt to learn that his friend had never planned on sticking around, and Saeyoung is surprised to find that anybody actually cares enough to be mad about it. He never really thought too hard about what would happen if (when) he inevitably had to disappear from his friends’ lives—but when he did think about it, he honestly didn’t think he’d be missed.

It is a huge deal that Yoosung gets mad, because it shows Saeyoung that his existence has had an impact on people. It’s after this conversation with Yoosung that Saeyoung tells you he’s willing to try and open up to you, too; Yoosung is the one who shows him that there is value in letting another person become close to you.

Later, I am absolutely certain that they are able to develop a real friendship: one that’s grounded in trust and mutual understanding. When you’re living in the bunker with Saeyoung and Saeran, if there is one member of the RFA who’s showing up unannounced with a backpack full of sweets and a big grin on his face—it’s Yoosung.

Jaehee

Jaehee needs to feel secure in her understanding of the things and people around her. She likes to be able to think to herself, “oh, here is why this person behaves this way.” And it’s for this reason that Saeyoung drives her absolutely crazy.

She respects him, of course—but begrudgingly, because he is an anomaly, a little piece of chaos in her perfectly-ordered world.

It is your love for him that allows her to wrap her mind around his peculiar existence—because Jaehee cares deeply for you (almost immediately), and she recognizes the look you get in your eyes when you talk about him. She may not understand him (or even want to)—but she understands about love.

Jaehee and Saeyoung are never going to be best friends. But in this timeline, Jaehee is one of your dearest friends—and for you, they will both try. Jaehee will make honey butter cookies for his birthday, and she’ll smile softly when she sees the look of utter delight on his face. He’ll ask her to bring him her laptop, and she’ll complain as he sweeps it from her hands—but when he returns it to her working ten times better than it ever did before, she’ll clasp his hands in hers, her eyes shining.

If she ever gets around to opening her cafe in this timeline—and I’d like to believe that she does—you and Saeyoung will go in often. He’ll annoy her by doodling cat faces on all the napkins—but he’ll always tip her 200% of the bill.

Zen

In this timeline, Zen immediately takes you in as a sort of younger sibling (yes, even if you’re older than him), and he's ready to go to battle for you, if he needs to. Like Jaehee, he feels almost instantly that you are someone special. He doesn’t quite understand why—but he knows that he wants to keep you safe.

A consequence of this protectiveness, of course, is that he becomes very suspicious of Saeyoung. He’s never trusted him (and for good reason: Saeyoung may be trustworthy, but 707 is anything but). Zen is worried that you won’t be safe with Saeyoung—and he’s not entirely wrong.

But: when Saeyoung reveals his real name, Zen is one of the first to use it—and he uses it repeatedly. Every time I play the Secret Ends, and the Vday DLC, I am hyper-aware that Zen is making a massive effort to call Saeyoung by the right name. And this speaks volumes to me.

If you let Zen in—even just a little—he will accept all of you (and he’ll do it with his whole heart). Zen understands what it means to feel like you don’t belong anywhere—to hide your true self behind a mask of pretense and positivity—to become someone else so you don’t have to look too closely at who you really are.

No matter which timeline we’re in, Zen’s success is going to skyrocket—so he’s not going to be around all the time. But when he is, it’s a party: these are the times that the whole RFA gets together again (and if you listen closely, you’ll hear the way he speaks to Saeyoung now—like he actually admires him. The feeling is mutual).

Jumin

This timeline is one of the roughest for Jumin, without a doubt.

The game doesn’t show us how deeply he is grieving—but he is. He has lost the two people who have ever made him feel comfortable in his own skin, and he no longer has anyone he can turn to. I’m not gonna sugar-coat it and say that everybody’s happy in this ending: they’re not, and even months (years) later, Jumin is suffering.

But here’s the thing: Jumin’s not the only one who loved Jihyun.

It takes Saeyoung time to sort through the complicated feelings he has for Jihyun, after everything that’s happened. He doesn’t forgive him right away—and even as he mourns him, he’s angry, too. But time passes.

I imagine that there comes a day—weeks or months or even years later—that Saeyoung and Jumin find themselves talking to each other about the person they both loved. Perhaps they are in Jihyun’s apartment, sorting through his things—or they find themselves alone together at a group event and—at last—one of them acknowledges the grief that permeates the negative space between them.

Jihyun leaves a gaping hole in both of their lives that nothing can fill. But I’d like to think that an understanding develops between them: they may never completely get one another, and it’s okay that they don’t. There is a deep and unwavering affection there—the kind of mysterious and unbreakable bond you only feel for someone who has become your family.

Vanderwood

In my personal post-SE timeline, Vanderwood sticks around for a while to help the twins deal with their father. I’ve written about it a bit (in my Human Again series): if they are able to find the records Jihyun was keeping about Saejoong, it would not be too difficult for them to take him down in this timeline. He has no leverage, here. With the brothers working together, they can expose him—and then, of course, they can really be free.

But Vanderwood doesn’t stick around forever—they wouldn’t want to. They have a whole life outside of taking care of Saeyoung; they have a hometown, and possibly even people there who are waiting for them.

But at least once a year—and never with any notice—Vanderwood shows up at your home. "Just wanted to see with my own eyes that the kid actually managed to keep himself alive,” they’ll say—and they’ll grunt and roll their eyes and maybe blush a little when you throw your arms around them and thank them for being the reason he stayed alive as long as he did.

Vanderwood really respects you, because when you tell Saeyoung to be quiet or sit down or clean up after himself, he does it. They respect you, too, for your bravery and your strength and your resilience.

Neither one of them will ever admit it, but for a long time, Saeyoung and Vanderwood really did only have each other.

You’ll invite them to your wedding, of course. They won’t RSVP—but they’ll be there.

Saeran

I could write a literal novel about their relationship in this timeline and how it develops (and ummm maybe eventually I will), but I’ll try and keep this brief.

SE Saeran is so very tired. It takes time—so much time, exponentially more than the game shows us—for him to even begin to feel comfortable living in his brother’s home. He is physically sick, for a long time, as a result of the drugs he was being fed and the torture he was enduring. There isn’t enough space for forgiveness: there is barely enough space for living at all.

There’s no one moment when the two of them start to feel like brothers again: love and hate are so much more complicated than that. And Saeran has had no agency in his life; every choice has been made for him—his newfound “freedom” doesn’t feel like freedom at all. He feels he has been shuffled from one cage to another: his brother’s horrible, windowless home is no different.

But it is the small things: walking in the grass outside the bunker and feeling the sun on his skin; the way you speak to him, like you trust him; the annoying way Saeyoung follows him around, wide-eyed, trying far too hard to win him over—gradually, he begins to feel that he has a home, after all.

In this timeline, I do believe that all three of you keep on living together for the rest of your lives. You certainly don’t stay in the bunker forever—but when you move, you do it together.

And what’s most important here, of course, is that Saeran chooses this. It is perhaps one of the first choices that he makes for himself—and it sneaks up on him, taking him by surprise one day: he wants to keep on living together.

And this—living with his brother in a home that’s warm and full of love—is the only thing Saeyoung has ever wished for.

#mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #707 #headcanons #asks #quirky-and-kind #fwends 🥺#post-game relationships #se timeline

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gabolange · 3 years ago

Text

So, let’s talk about Leverage: Redemption. In which I am medium-whelmed at best.

Spoilers below the cut.

I finished the show a couple of days ago and I keep trying to figure out why I didn’t love it. This isn’t to say I didn’t like it, because I did, but it didn’t land for me the way it seems to have landed for a lot of people, and so here I am with, like, meta. Party like it’s 2008 and all that.

2008. I actually didn’t meet Leverage until 2010 despite friends telling me for ages I should watch. It one of those moments that became a forever memory for many reasons, but the most important is this: the show was perfect. Those first hours spent watching a rerun marathon on TNT on a hot-as-fuck July 4 in Albuquerque, New Mexico came with them the understanding that this show was truly special.

It was funny, it was topical, it was sexy, and it was so fucking smart. I fell in love right away with all of them, but especially with Sophie, and with Nate, and with their complicated, complex, adult history. And then over the course of catching up and keeping up, I fell even harder, with them and those themes, with watching Parker and Hardison grow into themselves, with watching Eliot deal every day with his demons. I loved the way the show balanced light and dark, how it could have Archie’s zappy cane in the same breath as Eliot giving Nate advice about what it would mean to kill. I loved that we all loved Maggie, even though ex-wives are known in television to be evil shrews. I loved Tara’s complexity, and Sterling’s wit, and how every episode was a chess game. And oh, how I loved Sophie’s journey, how she had to decide every day not how to live but who to be.

When I say it was perfect, I don’t mean it didn’t have its duds. Of course it did. But it did the thing it was trying to do better than anyone has ever done it, with intelligence and respect, and its finale is one of the three best series finales ever filmed.

This is all to say the bar for Leverage: Redemption was both sky high and very low. When I heard they weren’t bringing Nate back, my first thought was don’t you fucking dare break my heart. If Nate was drunk off his ass in a ditch somewhere, if he had broken Sophie’s heart--that would be the ultimate betrayal (hi, I still have feelings about The Doctor Blake Mysteries). And so the bar was: don’t break my heart, while also being something like the perfect show.

They didn’t break my heart. I said early the best thing would be to kill Nate after he and Sophie had good, long, happy years together. And they did, and it was the right place to start.

They gave me that, and I am grateful, but when I look at the rest, I guess I was underwhelmed. Or at least only whelmed. Medium-whelmed at best.

There were things I loved: Hardison and Parker’s relationship. Eliot’s careful watch over Sophie. Hardison growing up to become the most epic white hat hacker ever. The idea that getting back into the game would be the thing that would make Sophie happy. Hardison’s commentary on redemption. The idea of Leverage: International. Gina Bellman is still made of magic and heartbreak and perfection.

There were things I liked: I am fond of our Mister Wilson, even if I find Noah Wylie about as interesting as plain toast. There were some truly great Eliot beats. I don’t yet like Breanna, but I like the idea of Breanna. I liked the way Nate hovered over the entire thing, because Sophie brought him with her. I think the sets were great, and I was impressed at how much they were able to do in a pandemic. I found utterly baffling but nonetheless charming that we meet Harry in the middle of a failed heist in which the team judges his technique and then adopts him. I liked Fake Nate and everything they did with that. The show had many bright spots, and I don’t in any way want to diminish them.

But. It wasn’t smart. It wasn’t sexy. Except for Sophie’s grief and Hardison’s plans, it picked up the character beats where we left them ten years ago. Has Parker been mastermind for this entire time? I would have loved to see that. Have they learned how to do this well without Sophie and Nate? I would have loved to see that. Show me the history.

Show me the history. Breanna and Hardison and Parker all say this is the worst timeline, and we know it is because we have lived it. But in the universe of the show, it doesn’t really seem that bad -- the plots of the week were silly and so small. I remember finding Damien Moreau too big, once upon a time, but this all felt too easy, the stakes far too small for this to be a show where everything has gotten worse. Nate almost murdered two guys in cold blood, folks. The show was missing any of the darkness that made the original truly compelling, and so lost the balance we loved between that and finding joy. I don’t need it in every episode, but I need a hint that there’s something bigger and meaner out there other than throwaway dialog.

(And, when it tried to go dark, it swung and missed. The episode with the collapsed building was timely, but as someone with anxiety and PTSD, the way the crew played on this guy who had apparently tried to do better this time around...was kinda not okay, to be honest.)

I don’t have OT3 goggles, but I think if I did, I would find Hardison’s absence a little sad--he was the glue, and they needed to do more to bring Parker and Eliot together as friends / colleagues / long-term members of the same polycue / whatever. But even without OT3 goggles, I missed Hardison a whole lot. And I am SO happy for Aldis Hodge growing up to be a real movie star, but he brought so much presence and capability to every scene he was in, even when he was just a kid. Nobody else has his gravitas, or Timothy Hutton’s.

I do have Sophie goggles, and Sophie / Nate goggles. And they didn’t ruin the ship or anything, of course not. But I missed the frisson they brought, the way they made the show just that much more adult. And I am so very, very glad they got their happiness, but I am kinda sad that sexy got replaced with grief.

So yeah. I don’t know. I didn’t hate it at all. I am willing to give it a chance, to let it grow into something I love. But it isn’t, at least not yet.

(x-posted to dreamwidth)

#leverage #leverage redemption #spoilers #leverage spoilers #meta #review #long post

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